#the message it sends for him to like

[whatisamildopinion]

sorry but I just KNOW Riz and Penny have the most unhinged text chain known to man happening off screen

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

[forgettable-au]

Does Wingdings have a skeleton shaped teacup from Asgore, like Alphys and Undyne do, or is that an AWD (after-wingdings) thing

This is a very important question

Can we see the teacup if its real

I don't think that's how you're supposed to hold a teacup....

Yeah, Asgore definitely gave him one LMAO but this is before Alphys got one, Undyne might have hers already

Asgore just really likes giving gifts...

[somepinkthing]

Something something tim drake who has never been put first by anyone he's ever loved in his life being told he is not only kon's first but also his only robin..... for the only thing that kon cared abt to be the fact that tim felt wanted and treasured and important to someone....., that he didn't give a damn about how other ppl might feel about what he just said....... esp knowing that he literally had his home and title and dad ripped from him in the last year......

[confused-stars]

shoutout to Jake Animorphs for being kinda uninteresting for like forty books and then hitting you so hard when he fully snaps and steps into his role as a hardened military leader at the age of sixteen

and then suddenly that sweet, stressed-out kid is just gone. he only exists to win wars anymore. it makes you realize too late what was lost

[besotted-with-austen]

“Elizabeth had no idea Darcy was flirting even when he was really obvious about his intentions” and “a mix of Darcy actively trying to distance himself and his attitude towards everyone he had in contempt kept Elizabeth oblivious to his intentions” are both true statements and one doesn’t invalidate the other.

[iamchickenhearmesquawk]

I dunno if I can fully express just how satisfying it is to see outie Irving and all the crumbs we are getting on what he may be up to and how badass and like, cunning he is.

[screechingfromthevoid]

Every time Brennan sits at that fucking table he tears a hole into what it means to be human and to have faith and to love and to be in community.

The brass ring were so close. They were family. Family enough to send one of their own out to make sure he got to be a father again. Laerryn blighted the tree of knowledge for her best friend and lover.

Downfall was all about family. And saving family. All of their family. Aiden gave his faithful a meal like no other they've had before. Trust gave a sickly little boy 70 hit points because she could barely his suffering. Asha pouted because her wife wasn't there to be with her.

And now Nia will not leave anyone behind. The Stormlord bestowed life back to ruined land. Crokas took on two children that are not his and carried them on his back. Fiedra, although harsh, still risked so much to pour a little wine for the bleeding boy. Garden's first priority is the children who will inherit this world from them.

I think, in the current state of Exandria, the new age we witnessed the birth of, Brennan is giving us that "what comes next". Divinity is not gone, Lieve'tel still performed her miracle. But I think the lesson from divergence, where the gods left the face of Exandria, is that divinity comes from people, mortals. And it always has. The gods get their power from worship. They'd be nothing without their people. So in the absence of them, then and now, stories will be told of reclaiming and rebuilding. Mortals will understand they are divinity. And that together, their power is as limitless as the gods they said goodbye to.

[heavenbarnes]

Does older bf!simon have social media?

great question!

he has one, older bf!simon has one singular social media account and it’s with instagram.

he only follows you and he only has it so he can like every single photo you post and comment “i like this” on them.

he literally does nothing else with the account (except watch rug cleaning videos on reels) and he has an alert for when you post.

[trappedinacomputer]

Okay and when Bad inevitably ruins the entire world and kills everyone to go back home and reunite with his kids only to discover it's empty because his kids aren't there, then what?

[ziyechs]

joe'marr bengals reunion — a (somewhat) comprehensive timeline

1 — “have you spoken to the cincinnati bengals and what would it mean to reunite with joe burrow there?” — “i have talked to the bengals. i don’t know how many times i’ve talked to them though. but, me and joe, you know, i wouldn’t mind going back with joe. if we go back together we’re trying to do nothing but get back our chemistry and have some more fun.”

2 — “i'm really excited for this draft. i don't really know what's coming but, you know, if me and joe could get back to it... i’d love to have some fun with him again.”

3 — “i assume you'd be okay with a potential reunion in cincinnati if that were to happen?" — "yeah, i wouldn’t mind.”

4 — “me and joe talked about [a reunion] maybe like three, four times actually. we talked about it a good bit of times. he texted me this morning, just letting me know: ‘get your bags packed’, so i guess that meant that was gonna be the pick. i don’t know if that was a hint or what. so, he sent me that little text this morning, i was like ‘okay… i'm ready, bro’.”

5 — “what was your reaction like when he was lowkey recruiting you?” — “i actually was believing him sometimes, sometimes i was like ‘stop playing with me’ and sometimes i was just like ‘okay bro, i gotcha, i'm ready now’ so. i believed him this morning when he told me, you know, pack my bags. so that's when i finally was like: ‘yeah he might really be calling this’ so that's when i took his word.”

6 – “jimmy burrow, did joe tell you—he’s always been kind of coy about what he said to the bengals—did joe tell you that he wanted the bengals to select ja’marr?” — “yes, i think we figured that… and eventually… yes, he pretty much told us that he wanted ja’marr.”

7 — “it was like a week before the draft, ja'marr said: ‘dad, joe texted me.’ […] he didn't say what he said, you know. but he said: ‘joe just texted me’, [...] so he had talked to joe like... or texted with joe once or twice that week. and then he told me, he said: ‘dad, if i get with joe, we're gonna kill’ [...] so he was all excited about getting with joe.”

8 — “what was the first thing joe texted you when you got drafted by the bengals?” — “make sure your bag's packed and ready. yeah, that was what he told me.”

9 — “the cincinnati bengals are on the clock now. earlier that morning, i had got a text from joe. he said: hope your bags are packed. i know it's me, at the moment, that's what i'm saying to myself. i can't wait to be a part of it.”

10 — articles: 1, 2, 3, 4

[pushing500]

Hehehe, bestowing ceremonies always make people look so strange and wiggly.

The Empire really likes the Jones Boys, and is already prepared to make them Barons—though, for some reason, they say we need a skull throne instead of a Grand Meditation Throne. Maybe they're World Eaters fans?

Unfortunately, I couldn't fix the skull throne requirement by shuffling the Rim of Madness: Bones mod around in the mod loading order, so I had to remove it entirely. It did mean all my bone china sculptures and plumbing fixtures broke, but at least we have the proper Baron title requirements of a Grand Meditation Throne.

We have also received word of another mechlink somewhere nearby. Perhaps we'll see about collecting it someday.

Finally, it seems we're still receiving gifts from our old outposts near Sparks! Arwell sent us a skip psytrainer and six voidsight serums, perhaps as a "congratulations" gift for becoming Praetors. How nice of them!

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[vanityangel]

looks like someone dug their enforcer uniform out of the closet

[babymorte]

people expect you to stay around while they always put you last

[averycutesalamander]

btw Boothill LOVES sexting you while he's away from home. maybe not even sexting - he just loves the response he gets from you whenever you receive one of his little gifts, whether that be photos or videos or audios, or sometimes even calls.

admittedly, he does sometimes time them quite cruelly. once, you tell him that you have to get off the phone because you're about to meet with a friend for dinner; thirty minutes later, he sends you a photo of the length of his body, stretched out in a lascivious lounge with his free hand gripped tightly around his cock - and paired with it is a text so foul and detailed that you actually think you might collapse in the restaurant.

you rapidly type a borderline incoherent reply under the table, your face so hot that you feel like you're burning alive. the smug little bastard only replies with a heart emoji - and then, five minutes later, with a photo of his come splattered on the plates of his abdomen.

an hour and a half later, though, you take your revenge. without a word, you send him a photo of your body lying tauntingly against the sheets, your breasts looking perfectly soft in the gentle lighting - and just in front of your open mouth is one of his spare prosthetic cocks, soaked thoroughly with your slick.

and just like that, the two of you are in a WAR.

the trouble is that you actually DO sometimes send him innocent videos and audios and whatnot, so he can never QUITE be sure if they're going to be innocent before he plays them. you're always careful to frame the beginnings of the sexual videos in a way that looks innocuous, so it's always a gamble, even when the thumbnails look normal.

it becomes a competition to see who can send the raunchiest messages, the most mouthwatering pictures, the most irresistible audios, the hottest videos. he barely had a sex drive before he met you, and he only very rarely feels the urge when he's gone from you - but now he feels like a rabid dog, frothing at the mouth and straining at his muzzle, desperate to get a taste of you.

it all comes to a head one day when you just so happen to send him an audio while he's in the middle of a fucking shootout, and he's so focused that he doesn't even realize he's instinctually started to play it through his neurochip and your sweet little moans ring through his head, deafening the roar of gunfire. he's so caught up in it all that he can't fucking concentrate for long enough to turn it off, so he's forced to listen to it all; the slick noises of you fucking yourself interspersed with the sound of shots being fired; the gasps that wrench from your lips mingling with the dying breaths of IPC scumbags; the sweet little sound of you calling the name you've given him- "fuck, fuck, bee... oh, please, honeybee... need you so fucking bad- need to feel you inside me..." broken only by the barked orders of the people he's mowing down, his whole body shivering as he fights to stop himself from falling apart right then and there.

he's never ended a fight so quickly and ruthlessly as he does when he hears that telltale hitch of your breath, the pitch of your voice rising as you get closer to the edge. in a frenzy, he barges into one of the docked ships - mercifully empty - and falls to his knees, his cock damn near busting out the front of his jeans.

your voice heightens further and further as he fists his length, and he can hear the obscene noise of the toy you're using hitting your lower lips, and he fucks his fist in time with the sound, and-

he manages to come just as you do, moaning raggedly in sync with you as his come spills onto the floor, smearing messily across his fingers.

once he's recovered enough to hold his phone without shattering it, he opens up your messages. "you don't have a clue what ya just put me through, ya lil' brat," he growls into his mic, and he's certain he sounds just as animalistic as he feels in the audio message.

"oh, sorry. bad time?" you reply in a text. a beat later, you add, "i just saw something about some handsome cyborg raiding an IPC warehouse on the news, and it made me think of you. crazy coincidence ;)"

you little fucking minx.

in his next audio message, his voice is so dark that it's comparable to ink, to the darkest hour of the night, to the deepest points of the ocean. "you're gonna regret this, doll."

when you reply with a heart emoji, he's certain that you have no idea just how soon that vengeance will be coming.

he breaks quite a few zoning laws as he speeds home, his body still rattling with barely restrained arousal. he had other things he should've taken care of before heading back, but frankly, the only thing he's able to take care of right now is the heat muddling his brain. he lands on your planet in record time, abandoning the stolen vessel and calling an automatic taxi to get him to your doorstep as quickly as possible.

thirty minutes after your text, he damn near busts the front door open in his haste, and he's pretty sure the doorframe splinters with how hard he slams it shut. he strides right toward your bedroom, pushing open the door with a stern, determined look on his face.

and there you are, in all your glory, your hair mussed and your skin bare; he can tell you must've dozed off after sending that text, but you obviously didn't bother to get dressed after. you're partially standing with one knee braced on the bed, your emergency baseball bat clenched in your fist.

you stare at him, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, frozen like a deer in headlights. "wha- honey? why are you-?"

he stops at the edge of the mattress, his eyes pinning you down.

your mouth snaps shut when he takes a slow, ominous step forward, his spurs jangling like the toll of a bell. he watches with no small amount of delight as you start to back away, your heart pounding so loudly that he can hear it thumping in his ears. your bat drops to the floor with a clatter as you're forced to climb further into the bed to escape him. he devours you with his eyes as he prowls closer and closer, drinking in the sight of your body, your breasts shifting as you push yourself further and further backwards. he reaches down, slowly unbuckling his belt, the metal clinking far too loudly in the silence. your cunt is still shining with slick, dribbling past your lower lips as you move, leaving a tempting trail for him to follow.

and then, faster than you can blink-

he leaps.

you barely have the time to gasp before he has his hand clenched around your throat, pushing you to the bed without any hope of escape. you squirm anyway, fighting to keep your legs closed as he presses between them. without a drop of effort, he pries one of your thighs apart with his free hand, exposing you to him, completely and utterly.

with a hard, ruthless motion, he thrusts inside of you, right to the base.

you moan raggedly, your walls still tender and slick from your earlier play. the prosthetic he has on now is far thicker than the one you borrowed, and he stretches you mercilessly, growling under his breath at the way you flutter and squirm.

he doesn't give you any time to adjust before he starts to fuck you in earnest, looming over you with all-consuming eyes. he leans in close, his voice thick and dark, and he rumbles, "ya really thought ya could get away with that, baby? thought i wouldn't make ya pay?"

all you can do is moan and gasp beneath him, muzzled by the pleasure, and he laughs in open mockery.

"stupid girl," he purrs, his eyes shining in the dim. "you should've known better. should've known your place."

don't worry, though. he'll remind you before the night is over - many, many times.

[kholnt]

just beat botw for the first time (you bet im planning to 100% it) but it spawned an au idea syk how in-game theres no post game and the "defeat ganon" quest just undoes itself? LU au but wild has been stuck in a loop of defeating the calamity, saving zelda and being returned back into the castle from before he confronted the calamity over and over again its not like he can do anything else, he's already done everything. even all of the koroks are accounted for. (the chain is the first new thing hes seen in a very long time)