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globrights · 6 years ago

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iasip s9 rated by macdennis content

The Gang Broke Dee: Mac saying FACED to Dennis when Dee doesn’t let Dennis past the rope gives this ep a 2.5/10

Gun Fever Too: Still Hot: Mac and Dennis spend most of the episode on different sides, but they, like Charlie and Dee, are both gullible idiots for Frank’s bullshit. 0.5/10

The Gang Tries Desperately To Win An Award: Oh some good?? Mac and Dennis standing next to each other content and Dennis touching Mac content and Dennis not realizing that the real will-they-won’t-they of Paddy’s Pub was him and Mac all along brings this up to a 6/10

Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare: Oh God. This episode was named after them for good reason. Dennis leans all over Mac and throws his arm over Mac’s shoulder and touches him like he’ll die if he stops. Mac and Dennis think they’re smart but really they’re fucking dumb gays. They bought a gay vacation in Florida in a nice villa and bought three weeks of it planning to get paid to vacation. Together. What the fuck does that mean. What was their intention. Do they know how gay they were? I’m pretty sure the Invigaron guy who duped them thought they were a couple. “Mac, I think this guy just bent himself over a barrel for our pleasure.” 9/10

Mac Day: Dennis gets pissed because Mac lectured about the evils of homosexuality when he could have brought up literally anything else to get mad about. He complains that Mac has been ruining his life yet still thinks that he and Mac will be together forever (“We have a lifetime of this to look forward to!”). He manipulates Mac’s need for his validation to make him fight in a karate tournament “for his own good”. He is always the first to point out when Mac gets a boner. He also gets a “crush” on Country Mac and is the most outspoken about how much he loves Country Mac and how much he “hates” Mac because he can’t deal with how much he needs and wants Mac despite his many “annoying traits”. It is highly possible that Dennis wants Mac to stop living in denial so that he can stop denying his blatant homosexuality, even though the rest of the gang don’t care as much. It’s also important to note that Dennis actually made the most accurate effort to follow Mac’s instructions when Mac Day first begun, proving that he’s a bottom bitch. It’s 5/10 if you watch it blindly, but if you spiral and think too deeply into it 7-9/10

The Gang Saves the Day: Mac fantasizes about dying while saving the gang in a badass way and Dennis crying over his dead body declaring his love for him and how he can’t live without him. He also fantasizes about Dennis telling him something he did was badass, and saying “Oh my god, Mac, that was amazing!” Dennis did not fantasize about Mac in any romantic capacity which is fucking stupid and illegal, although it is interesting to note that both of them fantasized about either dying or being near death. Also, Mac thought that Dennis would mourn his death while Dennis thought that Mac wouldn’t give a shit about him once he knew he was alive, which is some food for thought. This episode also further reinforces how Dennis can’t fall in genuine love with a woman. If Dennis had fantasized about Mac properly this episode would have received a 10/10. But he didn’t so it’s a 8.9/10, still an objectively high score, because Dennis has no rights

The Gang Gets Quarantined: Mac and Dennis stand next to each other when they sing. There’s something gay about that. What’s even more gay you ask? It’s the fact that Mac has seen Dennis’ penis go from flaccid to erect and flaccid to erect and that he thinks that Dennis can do cool stuff with his dick. God fucking damn it. Mac wanted to call 911 and a hospital to get Dennis medical treatment. Dennis suggested that Mac roundhouse kick the door down because he knew that’s what Mac wanted to do. 8/10

Flowers For Charlie: When the episode starts, Mac and Dennis argue over who’s smarter, even though they’re both dumb. “Come on Mac, we’re smarter than that. It’s not about brute force, it’s about... seduction.” Mac and Dennis nearly kiss after swaying face to face playing You’re My Inspiration. Dennis keeps telling Mac he’s smart, which contradicts what he was doing in the beginning, and they get high on gasoline with Dee and make each other laugh. Frank asks “Charlie is our foundation. And where does the foundation belong?” Mac and Dennis respond “At the top” in unison. They agree and laugh over how placebo is a stupid word, and Dennis laughs his ass off and even snacks Mac for saying “these stupid science bitches couldn’t even make my friend more smarter!” 9/10, because points had to be deducted for Dennis moving away at the last second when Dee walked in

The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6: Jesus fucking christ. I feel like the shower wrestling scene, the half naked volleyball scene (that they felt they had to film for. some reason), the ENTIRETY of the shower scene actually (that they also felt they needed!! for some reason!!), Mac looking delighted and confirming the fact that Dennis can do all the sex positions, plus “You need money to fund your gay porno movie?” and “In a lot of ways, this is a love story between two men, okay? In MOST ways–“ Dennis and Mac both being stupid enough to want to switch roles in the middle of the movie again, Mac and Dennis giving themselves Main Producer, Directing, and Writing credits PLUS Mac staring at Dennis’ dick while filming a fucking strip club scene for a movie pulls this up to a solid 9/10

The Gang Squashes Their Beefs: “Four extra seconds dedicated solely to the dong shot? Buddy, that’s what I’m thankful for.” Mac and Dennis talk about why they don’t care about Thanksgiving, only to host a Thanksgiving dinner to settle their various rivalries around town. Dennis chases Dee away to settle his and Mac’s beef with the McPoyle brothers so he could dance with Mac. They’re both stupid stubborn gay bitches who won’t say sorry even to squash a beef. 7.5/10

#macdennis #text #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #rated #back again with this shit #i had no idea how macdennis heavy this season was #like #the number of episodes w high scores are overwhelmig #i tried to bell curve it by the scores wouldnt budge #they are just #that gay

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itsdannyg · 6 years ago

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James Roday on Reddit discussing Treehouse

Reddit with JAMES RODAY

I’m James Roday from Psych and A Million Little Things. I also directed two horror movies for Blumhouse’s Into the Dark Horror Anthology Series on Hulu. AMA!

JAMES RODAY: Roday here. I think. I'm typing things in a box so that seems encouraging.

JAMES RODAY: I think I'm an hour early. That's the first time in my adult life this has ever happened. I'll pop back by a little later. And I'll be READY.

JAMES RODAY: Yo! How about I knock out these early bird questions like a baller.

QUESTION (CharlotteBeer): Given your latest is part of a seasonal series, when did you start work on the script -- and how long did it take you? How did y'all settle on the Ides of March?)

JAMES RODAY: CharlotteBeer -- it all came together very quickly because of my schedule on AMLT. Got the thumbs up in April and we were shooting in early June. It was an idea I had been kicking around for years but current climate and conversation definitely opened a window and my collaborators and I jumped through it.

CharlotteBeer -- Oh, and we settled on International Women's Day. Hulu made it Ides of March.

ASSHOLE QUESTION (yanderebeats): So uh what the fuck was that scene with them putting the snake on his arm? Like what was the direction given to mcpoyle exactly, did you specifically tell him to do the worst job possible or what

JAMES RODAY: Yandererbeats -- 1. Well, the dude is tripping on psychotropes so he's seeing all kinds of shit and the ladies are using that to their advantage. 2. No, I think Jimmi Simpson is a genius and generally requires little direction from me 3 (bonus) You sure this is what you want to be doing with your time?

QUESTION (ConicalSun): What advice would you give to someone that wants to pursue work in film? Directing in particular.

JAMES RODAY: ConicalSun -- Make something. Get familiar with a camera and how to shoot. If you can afford to take a filmmaking class that provides instruction and equipment, sometimes that helps speed the plow. But I'm guessing you know what you like and don't like about movies and it's easier than ever to get out there and make your own content so give it a whirl.

QUESTION (psych-o5life): Out of every character you have ever played, which one are you most like?

JAMES RODAY: psych0-5life -- Probably the dude I'm playing now on AMLT.

QUESTION (seppukuu): What is your writing process like? Do you live out the stories in your head or, since you usually have a writing partner, do you prefer a more systematic approach that involves discussions and outlines?

JAMES RODAY: Seppukuu -- Todd and I have been writing together for over 20 years now. We have such a great shorthand that we can accomplish a lot quickly without spending much time in a room together. Vodka helps. We talk story, specific scenes and generally write the stuff we see best in our heads, respectively. Once we have a very rough draft, everything becomes much easier and the streamlining and polishing begins. That's generally when character voices really start to take shape as well.

seppukuu: In vodka veritas!

QUESTION (Nikesneaker): Hi James!

Do you have a favorite director/actor/actress that you look up to as a “hero”?

P.S. supa excited for Psych: The Movie 2

JAMES RODAY: Nikespeaker -- I grew up an enormous fan of Val Kilmer as an actor, Rick Baker and a SPX Make Up Artist and Stanley Kubrick as a director. I'd add Bergman, Wes Craven, John Landis and Quentin Tarantino to the list of directors I've really appreciated over the years and Lynne Ramsay is an absolute force of nature. I also CANNOT WAIT to see what Julia Decournau does next after RAW...

QUESTION (mooviescribe): If you were to direct another horror feature (not for Dark Horror), what type of script catches your eye?

JAMES RODAY: mooviescribe -- I will def be directing more horror. I love the genre and believe there are plenty more good stories to be told. As for scripts -- anything that moves me catches my eye. Being scared is fun but if it makes you think and feel -- that's the real fire starter

JAMES RODAY: I just realized I can reply to questions by hitting reply. This is GOOD SHIT.

QUESTION (Wizardmer): I am such a huge fan of Psych, and some of my favorite episodes were the fun homages to classic horror movies, here's lassie was my personal favorite. Was there any other horror movies you wanted to do as an episode?

How did the costume design come to life for treehouse? I loved those awesome outfits, super dope

JAMES RODAY: They let me check most all the remaining horror boxes in A Nightmare on State Street. It's just a big sloppy buffet but I loved every minute of it. Costume and mask design were the work of the incredibly talented Diane Crooke. She was one of a whole team of lady designers that elevated every element of Treehouse and I am eternally grateful.

QUESTION (UHeardAboutPluto): Have you heard about Pluto?

JAMES RODAY: That's messed up, right?

UHeardAboutPluto: James, you have made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Pysch is my favorite show ever, and that response from you was perfect. Thank you for being awesome!

QUESTION (AsymptoticGames): I just want to point out that I love when co-stars of some of my favorite shows hang out outside of the show. On that note, how was Dule Hill's wedding?

JAMES RODAY: Beautiful.

QUESTION (psych-o5life): Are you helping with production on Psych the Movie 2?

JAMES RODAY: Co-wrote the adventure and we're prepping it now. Steve will be directing and it's gonna be sweet.

QUESTION (bakuryu69): Hey big fan James - what drew you to directing horror. Will you be doing more work in the genre (possibly pineapple related)?

JAMES RODAY: I've been a fan of horror since I was old enough to know what movies were. Somehow convinced my mother that I loved being scared and wanted to learn how all the cool special fx and make up worked. She went for it.

QUESTION (Maxzhouse): Hey man, I really dig your work. I was wondering if you’re into writing and if so what your process looks like? Thanks mate!

JAMES RODAY: It generally looks like one inspired hour of writing a day and 23 hours of procrastination and thinking I should never write again.

Maxzhouse: Ah a man after my own heart! Thanks for answering brother, Hope the best for you and yours. Peace, love & Mercy

QUESTION (seppukuu): You said before that your high school production of Elephant Man was the most challenging acting gig you've ever done. Is this still true, and would you like to do it again now that you have considerably more experience under your belt? What would be another (type of) character you'd find most challenging/exciting to play?

JAMES RODAY: I'm too old to dip back into John Merrick's skin but man that is a tough play to pull off. Moving forward, I think characters that are well written with a real point of view (good or bad) are the ones that we all want to play as actors.

QUESTION (TheReelPliskin): Hey James. I just wanted to say you're awesome! I've been watching everything you're in or a part of ever since I saw a little movie called Rolling Kansas. Can't wait for the new Psych movie and I fell I'll hafta get Hulu now so I can see your new movies. Ok. Enough of that. Now for the question. Outside of Psych and Little Things, what is one of your personal favorite movie or show you've been a part of? P.S. . . SUCK IIIIIIT!!!

JAMES RODAY: It's gotta be Treehouse. And a tiny film I was lucky enough to be a part of a few years back called Pushing Dead directed by Tom Brown. Worth checking out. Important subject matter.

QUESTION (deadpool902): Hey James!

Quick two-part question:

What aspect of anthology storytelling entices you the most?

Were there any horror stories or films that you turned to for inspiration when directing for Into the Dark, and if so what were they?

Thanks for stopping by and I can't wait for your return to Santa Barbara!

JAMES RODAY:

The fact that, in this case, 12 different filmmakers got to come in and do anything they wanted without worrying about stepping on toes or syncing up with any of the other films

Raw, Thelma, Goodnight Mommy -- 70s horror.

QUESTION (tedlogan43): Mr. Roday - Gravy was fantastic, A Million Little Things blows my mind, and Psych is a part of who I am at my core. I wanted to ask what it is like to get to continue working with so many great professionals like Dule Hill, Michael Weston and Jimmi Simpson. Do you feel like your continued projects with them are improved by your on-going relationships with them? Thanks for the profound impact your roles have had on my life!

JAMES RODAY: I am tremendously lucky to have so many insanely talented besties. I am no dummy. I surround myself with ladies and gents that make me look way better than I deserve and will continue to do so as long as they'll let me.

QUESTION (fangirl005): What is the best thing about working on AMLT?

JAMES RODAY: The cast. And knowing that we're dealing with issues that affect so many people every day. It feels good to be a part of those conversations in even the smallest of ways.

QUESTION (jmsturm): Hi Mr Roday, big fan.

Who would win if Shawn went head to head with the Mentalist?

JAMES RODAY: Well he'd def be the comic relief.

QUESTION (TheWalkingGamefreak): Good evening James, just want to say hi

JAMES RODAY: sup

QUESTION (seppukuu): Marvel called and wants to give you half a billion dollars to direct Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Do you accept, and would you still try and shoot it in 3 weeks on a 200 dollar budget instead?

JAMES RODAY: hahaha. that's a great answer and the honest to God answer is that I'd only do it if I thought I could bring something unique or unexpected to the fanbase. Otherwise there are plenty of ladies and gents for the job.

QUESTION (FusionCinemaProd): What would you say is the most creative horror film of the last decade?

JAMES RODAY: Creative? That's pretty subjective. I'd say last years reboot of Suspiria was a pretty big creative swing that mostly succeeded IMHO. And I stand by RAW as one of the best films of the last decade, period.

FusionCinemaProd: Raw is a fantastic film. I’ll have to check Suspiria out on blu ray when it comes out here in the UK.

QUESTION (modsrfagbags): What was your favorite “Gus don’t be...” line from Psych? My favorites gotta be either “eleven and a half pound Black Forest ham” or “the 100th luftballoon”

JAMES RODAY: I am a sucker for a luft balloon

modsrfagbags: Oh shit thanks for responding

QUESTION (imdannyg): Have to admit, the torture scenes with Peter Rake (Jimmi Simpson) gave me flashbacks to your work in Blood Drive. Is there any connection there at all and/or did it prepare you in anyway for this scene in Treehouse?

JAMES RODAY: Welcome Daniel. You know I hadn't thought about it until just now. The two projects are so tonally different but I'll say this -- shooting scenes designed around a character that cannot move is challenging to say the least. Blood Drive probably did serve as a dry run for me without even realizing it.

QUESTION (seppukuu): Have you ever done special effects make-up on another person? If not, would you like to try or are you happy watching the professionals do it for you?

JAMES RODAY: I used to do it quite a bit as a kid. There's a reason I didn't end up being the next Rick Baker.

QUESTION (HippoMafia42): Hey James, huge psych fan here, I know psych the movie 2 will start production sometime this month, but when will that be? Hopefully within the week?:)

JAMES RODAY: Soon. We need a little time to find and build things.

QUESTION (miatosc): What was your favorite scene to shoot this season on a million little things?

JAMES RODAY: There were so many. My scenes with Colin the dog in the "day before" episode were especially sweet.

miatosc: haha! I was guessing any scene with Colin since he’s such a sweet dog.

QUESTION (thepineapplesplat): James! Man glad to hear your free-spirit self. Huge fan of Psych and no matter how much I’ve watched the episodes over and over it never ceases to make me smile. You were apart of a master piece and taught me to always stay true to the inner child in me. Absolute master piece!

Serious question, do you see yourself doing any meet and greets with fans in Canada? Perhaps in Vancouver where Psych was shot?

JAMES RODAY: thanks! So glad it resonated with you. As for meeting fans, I'm always happy to say hi -- I struggle with the format of conventions because I wish fans didn't have to spend their money. They already do so much by just watching and keeping shows on the air....

thepineapplesplat: Yeah definitely makes sense. Meeting you and Dule Hill is definitely on my bucket list. I’m not a huge on meeting celebrities (I think of them as regular people) but psych stars will definitely hold a place in my childhood/adolescence memories. Thanks for bringing it to life! Sorry if I seem like I’m fan girl-ing out haha!

QUESTION (seppukuu): Will we ever see a new play written (and directed) by you?

JAMES RODAY: someday.

QUESTION (psych-o5life): What was your favorite episode of Psych to film?

JAMES RODAY: Probably Dual Spires because it was the closest I'll ever get to being in Twin Peaks.

QUESTION (NateLeport): What was your favorite episode of psych to work on? What was your favorite running gag like the pineapple, I’ve heard it both ways, come on son, I’m Shawn spencer and this is my partner ____, etc.

JAMES RODAY: I became partial to singing suck it towards the end

QUESTION (leeselislisuh): What was your biggest recurring nightmare as a kid? Mine happened a lot when my mom was pregnant with my little sister, and I kept dreaming she'd be born with a full set of very pointy teeth. Horrifying. Huge fan and excited to see more of your work!!

JAMES RODAY: What a question. And what a nightmare. I used to dream that I was a werewolf but I thought that was awesome and didn't want to wakeup

QUESTION (bsischo): When does the next Psych movie come out? I loved that series and I really enjoyed the last movie.

JAMES RODAY: Good question and not sure of the answer. If I had to guess I'd say around the holidays again

bsischo: Really looking forward to it!!!

QUESTION (imdannyg): How did the music choices for Treehouse play out? Priscilla Ahn's Under the Covers is the bomb!

JAMES RODAY: All those needle drops are in the script. I tend to write very specifically to music and, knowing we'd have little to know music budget, I chose songs we had shot at getting. We got all of them. Priscilla, per usual, stepped up and wrote something incredible just for the movie. Another ridiculously talented dear friend who I will employ forever and ever as long as she says yes.

QUESTION (TheWriteOwl): James, thank you so much for doing an AMA and letting us all fan-girl our hearts out. I think it's rare to see someone who moves as smoothly as you do from being a comedic genius in a show like Psych and a thrill master in movies like Treehouse.

What attracted you to these two, disparate genres, and can you speak a little bit about why you think you've seen so much success in both?

JAMES RODAY: Better to be lucky than good and I've been very lucky. I have dedicated myself to being as good as humanly possible to try and make sense of how blessed I've been. Growing up, horror and comedy were the genres I gravitated to the most so they've been in my bones for a very long time. I still remember seeing An American Werewolf in London in the theaters as a six year old. That just about sums me up.

TheWriteOwl: Your dedication and your inherent love for what you do really shows up in your work. As a fan, it's awesome to see - thank you!

QUESTION (eppukuu): Film or digital?

JAMES RODAY: Film. But I do understand the revolution. We shot the first three seasons of Psych on film and Tuesday the 17th was shot on Super 16 which is one of my very favorite formats. There's something truly special about knowing you only have so much film to shoot on and so many takes to get it -- really brings a crew and cast together. And it just looks so good. Though technology has definitely curbed that with HD.

QUESTION (angelusgirl): I started watching Psych after I watched the awesome episode Dual Spires. What was your favorite Twin Peaks Easter egg in the episode or memory of filming it?

JAMES RODAY: The last scene in the diner was a blast because it was a basket of easter eggs. And I'll never forget watching the cast of my favorite show reunite in real time at the Sutton Place bar. Some of them hadn't seen each other in 25 years.

angelusgirl: And a follow up if I may, what did you think of the showtime season?

JAMES RODAY: Well. I loved it because it felt like the deepest recesses of David Lynch's mind were turned loose and who knows if or when we'll get to experience that again. That said, I understand why it wasn't for everyone and if you came in expecting an evolution of the original series....well, you probably didn't get what you were hoping for.

QUESTION (cabose7): How is Timothy Omundson doing?

JAMES RODAY: He's such a badass and he's doing great. He has exceeded expectations at every turn and I cannot wait to bring Lassie back home.

QUESTION (]miatosc): what’s it like working with Allison Miller? She seems super funny and passionate about her work.

JAMES RODAY: Miller is a truly gifted performer. I lucked out getting her as a scene partner. She pushes me, carries me and makes me better. No question.

QUESTION (imdannyg): Did you write Agnes with Nancy Charles in mind? She (and all the cast) is incredible!

JAMES RODAY: We did not but boy did she come into her audition and own that role. When she left we all looked at each other and were like "well, that's that."

QUESTION (seppukuu): You survived the (non-zombie related) apocalypse. The planet is a wasteland. What do you miss most?

JAMES RODAY: Dogs and pals.

QUESTION (mndrlyn): Hi James! Two questions. 1. Does the beard stay for the new Psych movie? 2. What do you do in your off time that makes you happy?

JAMES RODAY: You'll just have to wait and....oh who are we kidding, Shawn doesn't have a beard. I generally spend as much time in NYC as I can and relax by thinking about the next juicy thing I can make. And vodka and sports.

QUESTION (psych-o5life): Do you know what's gonna happen in AMLT season 2?

JAMES RODAY: I may know a thing or two -- which still leaves close to a million

JAMES RODAY: You awesome ladies and gents I'm gonna wrap this up in the next five minutes. We've actually gone over an hour and I don't want to break Reddit.

QUESTION (imdannyg): What are the most difficult constraints to overcome with a limited budget such as this? Is it just time, is it human resources, is it gadget/technology oriented issues? What extra thing would help the most with a limited budget like Treehouse?

JAMES RODAY: All of the above. And I would always choose time over money.

QUESTION (SydneyHollow): Shawn was a big hero of mine for a long time. Then I realized over time that Shawn is a huge dick. Nevertheless, your ability to breathe such life into his character is nothing short of amazing. All the actors on Psych, really, are truly gifted!

Did you ever have doubts about how successful Psych would be?

JAMES RODAY: Hahaha! I love this. And believe me the longer the show ran, the more challenging it became to keep a character like Shawn digestible. It's like watching Puck of Peter Pan for muuuuch longer than a movie or a play. But yes, that was a wonderful group of actors and humans and we are family. Lightning in a bottle to be sure. The success of Psych never ceases to amaze me. Truly. And that's all because of the fans. 100 percent.

QUESTION (JessicaSimbro): In writing a female role for one of your films, what personality traits does an attractive woman have in your mind? And what then makes that same woman gaspingly frightening?

JAMES RODAY: I believe attractiveness lives primarily on the inside. I'd say the same for what makes anyone frightening.

QUESTION (woahbells): From interviews you seem introverted and introspective but not uncomfortable being questioned about both work and personal topics. Assuming I'm correct and that you are an introvert, how do you reconcile that aspect of your personality with fame?

Also, I noticed the subtle pineapples on Peter's daughter's shirt at the end. Was that intentionally done?

JAMES RODAY: Not my choice but I also didn't veto it so...

QUESTION (firmhair): Come back to White Rock. Our Pier is gone :(

JAMES RODAY: Deal. And with that, thank you all for joining me. It's always a pleasure to connect with you all. If you haven't checked out Treehouse on Hulu, give it a spin. I am enormously proud of the work from all involved and especially grateful for the opportunity to work with and learn from so many talented and insightful women. Be kind to yourselves and others and get ready for a million little spoonfuls of delicious flavor in the future....

#treehouse #jamesroday #james roday

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revjess-flradio · 7 years ago

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The Top Ten Bad Horror Movies That I Love

Not ranked in terms of love, just listed.

10. Stay Alive: The Director’s Cut (2006)

This movie is not good. Not good at all. It’s a cheesy as shit, supernatural horror movie that was pushed heavily by Game Informer, simply due to its plot. The film tells the story of a video game (that is basically a Resident Evil/Doom clone on PS2) that kills you in real life if you die in-game. Few things are redeemable in this film. The biggest names in it are a post-puberty, mid-Malcolm Frankie Muniz and one of the McPoyle Brothers. The rest of the crew is just sort of there. It’s worth seeing once for sure, simply for the novelty of it. I think I love it because I watched it so much when it came out. I searched through so many Exchanges, Blockbusters, and Wal-Marts trying to find it. When I finally did, I wore the DVD out.

9. Thir13en Ghosts (2003)

This big budget horror movie, inspired by William Castle, was the first from Dark Castle Pictures. It had a decent team of producers, including super-producer Joel Silver.

It tells the story of a family who moves into a futuristic house after inheriting it from a sketchy uncle. Everything seems cool at first, but, SURPRISE! There’s a gaggle of ghosts in the basement. What follows is a ridiculous haunted house movie with some decent effects and a decent cast (Tony Shaloub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, etc), but also insanely stupid writing. My dad and I watched this movie once together. My sister and I watched it about 20 times in 3 months. They had a special feature on the DVD that was individual stories about each ghost, and we had each one memorized. If you’re looking for a fun time with a bad film, you really can’t go wrong with this one.

8. Bride of Chucky (1998)

This movie is, without a doubt, the beginning of the end for Chucky. Admittedly, all of the Chucky movies are stupid. Yet, this one has something about it. At least, they were smart enough to go with horror-comedy with this one. I was 5 years old when this came out and I fucking loved it.

Chucky is back, baby, and ready to walk down the aisle. Along the way, two teenagers in the same situation get taken hostage by the two dolls, and what follows is a stupid, plot-hole filled, campy mess. But, goddamn, it’s entertaining.

Going back a few years later, it’s clear that I was an idiot as a kid. The whole movie is stupid, but hey, at least it’s funny. That is the one thing it has going for it (well, that and seeing Jennifer Tilly in leather outfits). It gets bonus points for the first Chucky kill, in which Chucky takes out a guy who is, in no way whatsoever, a Marilyn Manson ripoff.

7. Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror (2006)

Hey, kids? You like Snoop Dogg? You like Tales From The Crypt? Well, you’ll dig Hood of Horror. This anthology film tells three stories in the Hood of Horror, each one hosted by Da Cribkeeper himself, Snoop D-O-Double G.

Each story has an urban take on common horror movie tropes, which, admittedly, is an interesting concept. It also has a decent cast of “anything for a paycheck” actors like Ernie Hudson, Jason Alexander, and Danny Trejo. However, it is not good. It was released by Xenon Pictures, who I’ve only ever seen one other movie from which was TV: The Movie (from the other Jackass guys that aren’t Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera), which I absolutely hated. But, something about this one really stuck with me. It’s stupid for sure, but man, it’s a lot of fun.

6. Rob Zombie’s Halloween II: Unrated Director’s Cut (2009)

Once again, I’m going with the Director’s Cut because it is a better film. However, this does not make it good.

As much as I love Rob Zombie’s movies, there’s no denying that the sequel to the 2007 Halloween reimagining is definitely his worst one. He decided to add a lot of symbolism and hidden themes to a slasher film. They are certainly interesting, for sure, and it’s the reason I love it. But, there’s no denying that Rob Zombie cannot write dialogue to save his life. By focusing on the symbolism and less on the brutality that the first one was chock full of, it made the film suffer as a whole and it doesn’t feel like a sequel. If anything, it feels like some kind of weird arthouse version of Michael Myers. However, when the kills finally do happen, they are the standard brutality we have grown to expect from Rob Zombie. Plus, it seems that Rob Zombie shot his symbolism wad with his 2012 film, Lords of Salem. His latest film, 31 (2016), brought us back to brutal sadistic violence that he became known for with his Firefly family movies. Still, it’s worth seeing once.

5. Tusk (2014)

As a Kevin Smith fan, I love this movie. As a movie fan, I can admit that it is terrible.

The film inspired by a phony classified ad was made for a small budget and made less than 2/3 of its budget back at the box office. I saw it at an evening showing, the day it opened, with my wife…..and no one else. Not one single soul was in the theater besides us.

It tells the story of a podcaster who goes up to Canada and gets turned into a walrus by Michael Parks. Need I say more? Add a ridiculous Johnny Depp cameo, and you got a movie. If you don’t listen to any Smodcast network podcasts, you won’t get the movie or any of the inside jokes it contains and you aren’t expected to. You will probably hate the movie, to be honest. But, that’s okay. My wife hated it because she thought it was supposed to be serious. Then, she heard the podcast during the credits and she loved it.

4. Vampire’s Kiss (1987)

Here’s a shocker. There’s a Nic Cage film on this list that isn’t The Wicker Man (2006).

Vampire’s Kiss tells the story of a big shot at a publishing company who has a night with a neck biter and slowly goes insane, believing he is one of the undead. It is an attempt at psychological horror, but it ended up being an unintentional black comedy and it is the performance that should’ve won Cage the oscar.

This movie is campy, overacting gold. Nic Cave doesn’t chew the scenery. He rips it’s heart out, drinks the blood, cooks it up and swallows it whole. The whole movie is just him trying to one up his overacting in the previous scene. It is glorious. The movie is fucking awful, but it is glorious. Buy this movie, now. Don’t hesitate. It’s perfect for a group watch.

3. My Name Is Bruce (2007)

Bruce Campbell is a gift from the heavens. The man saved the world from the Deadite plague, not only in modern times, but in the middle ages. That being said, this movie is beyond B movie status. It was made for 1.5 million, grossed just under 200 grand at the box office, and was doomed from the get go, due to the extremely polarizing fan potential.

Bruce Campbell is recruited by a small town to fight a killer demigod who is threatening their small town utopia. It’s a super meta, super cheesy, fan service comedy horror movie that is by no means a good film.

If you don’t like Bruce Campbell, which makes you a terrorist in my book, you will not like this movie. However, since I view him as the 10th World Wonder, I fucking love this movie. It’s Bruce Campbell. Enough said.

2. Knock Knock (2015)

Keanu Reeves has such a strange film career. This is probably the best example. As much as I love Eli Roth, there’s no denying that this movie is terrible.

A devoted husband and father gets stuck in the fight for his life after he bangs two flight attendants and they decided to kill him. Along the way, we get to see so much overacting that Nic Cage would be so proud.

Keanu Reeves is the reason I love this movie. Specifically, the climax, in which he delivers a monologue in an attempt to defend himself. IT WAS FREE FUCKING PIZZA!

1. Freddy VS Jason (2003)

I fucking love this movie. As a kid, I had the entire NOES collection and had watched all the FT13s multiple times. When this was finally released in my 4th grade year, it was like Christmas. Looking back, yes, it is bad. Really bad. But, man, I love it.

The nu metal soundtrack, the one liners, the clearly-a-Jason Mewes-ripoff stoner character, the stupid fights, the thrown together story. My god, it’s fucking brilliant.

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racingtoaredlight · 7 years ago

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RTARL recaps The Bachelorette S13:E09

There is no auto-save function in Tumblr. That is unfortunate and now this post will be much shorter.

Probably for the best. I’m really distracted with trade deadline rumblings and am cribbing from other people’s memories of what happened last week on The Bachelorette.

Last week’s show was 2-hours long and condensed “the contestants meet the family” episode with the “fantasy suites” episode. By the way, a thing this show has taught me that I never applied in my real life but is a great way to handle things is that you should think of anybody you date as a contestant. Call them that. Let them know that’s how you think of them.

First one up to meet the Lindsays is Peter. He’s got black friends and has never dated a black woman. He seems to level-headedly think the whole set up of this show is idiotic as far as real world romance goes but that’s a red flag on this kind of network entertainment. We dedicated viewers have met the Lindsays before but the contestants have not.

Rachel takes Peter to a baby good store to procure baby goods for a very soon to be born new child. Her sister is 37-weeks pregnant which seems like a lot. They also buy a toy for her already living nephew.

Rachel’s pregnant sister is my favorite character on this show. I remembered liking Rachel’s mom from when she didn’t like Nick on The Bachelor but I didn’t remember much about the sister. She’s very sassy and also protective of her sister but not in a jerk way or a McPoyle kind of way.

The Lindsays are great and they don’t grill Peter too hard. Peter’s probably more effusive at the table than he’s been in other episodes. Rachel’s mom seems like she’s on the same page as Peter in thinking the shows premise is a little wanting but they can’t say that and have it broadcast so the conversation really makes no sense.

Next up is Eric and I hope Eric wins just because he seems less like a network creation and more of just an actual human being than the other guys. Think of what a strange bunch of people you’ve put together when a personal trainer from L.A. is the normal, well-adjusted, honest and intelligent one.

Back at the contestant’s hotel Bryan and Peter talk whatever shit about Eric. Well, Bryan talks shit. In a confessional Peter makes a slick reference to Bryan’s surgically enhanced cheeks. The more I watch the more it seems that Bryan maybe sucks and it’s not just my own discomfort with his high end Ed Gein-style mask of a face.

Rachel takes Eric around Dallas in a sort of counterpoint to his tour of Baltimore. I’m hung up on the fact that I’ve been to the restaurant they’re in. Eric’s nervous in a way that makes sense when you’re meeting somebody’s parents. Maybe he’s a little untested for marriage. That should be fine in real life but in a marriage game show maybe it’s pushing things along too fast for him. Whatever, I still hope he wins.

Eric is charming and normal seeming again. It’s really out of place on this show. The family seems to really like him which doesn’t seem to hold much water for Rachel’s process. At least it’s edited to seem that way.

Now we come to Bryan. He’s got his fancy ass matching watch with Rachel and they both show it off to Eric and Peter before heading out. It comes across to me as an announcement from Rachel as much as anything else. Like, “here’s my dude and youse are just playing for runner up.” This fucking guy. How can she like him so much? Maybe it’s just the aggressive physicality of him.

The Lindsays, to their eternal credit, seem to dislike him. He bounds in the house talking about how confident he is and then everybody just kind of side eyes him the whole time. Rachel’s sister laughs a little when he refers to Rachel as his girlfriend. Red Haired Brother In Law grills him just a bit. Rachel’s Uncle Forehead asks him a question and he bolts from the table. I like to think he just had to take a massive emergency dump and the film was cut to make it look like he was dodging the question. The subject isn’t really brought up but Rachel is very angry at her family while her big-faced/normal head lover is away. She doesn’t really have a good argument about why they’re being unfair but she still believes it.

Bryan leaves on seemingly good terms with everybody and even daps down Red Haired Brother In Law so I don’t think the real scene was particularly tense. I’m sure Bryan is going to win.

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After the meet the family stuff we switch venues to San Juan de Gaztelugatxe in Northern Spain. That’s Basque country! I wish that meant there was a terrorist threat against the show but it doesn’t. That’s wine country! Hell yeah. This place looks fucking amazing. If the pics above look familiar to you it’s because this is where Game of Thrones films the Dragonstone scenes.

Rachel and Eric go in a helicopter ride to a winery and then tromp around and I’m jealous as hell. I’ve been to wine countries in California (three of them!) and loved them all but I’ve never been to Spain. You guys should all give me money to go on vacation to Basque wine country. As for the show, Eric builds up courage to say he loves Rachel and there’s fantasy suite time. Hopefully that means they porked. Why waste this great setting?

Rachel and Peter get a wine cellar that’s going to be hard for them to ever get to. I looked up the winery and it seems to be moderately priced stuff so I’m just stuck on the logistics of this wine locker. They’re really gonna take a $10,000 trip to just go back and get their $13 bottles of wine? Hmm. The Spanish guy did say it’s forever, though, so it’s just going to rot if they don’t.

There’s an odd discussion about what it means to date and to be engaged and to be committed and to propose and maybe they agreed that Peter would propose a future proposal if he wins the contest prize that is Rachel? I think they’re talking about a promise ring?

That’s where things were left. So after the men TELL ALL! tonight then there’s going to be left over drama and sex time next week. Maybe Bryan is bad in bed and the spell will die and Rachel will realize for once what everybody watching already knows: Bryan is the only bad choice left among the three. Maybe!

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#the bachelorette #bachelor nation #game of thrones #dragonstone #san juan de gaztelugatxe #daenarys targaryen #rachel lindsay #guy with huge cheek implants #there is no such thing as an m.d. of chiropractor degree at university of florida #the misfits #glenn danzig #fantasy suite #wine locker #cheap wine

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