#the math don't math

[phantomarine]

Me: hey why does my ad revenue go up and down without my monthly views changing and my audience only growing

God of Ad Revenue:

[lady-starkiller]

going wild on a saturday night

*glass of bourbon*

*wikipedia page for 'photon'*

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[ruubesz-draws]

He's a little confused, but he got the spirit!

(He's trying his best, leave him alone!)

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[becca-e-barnes]

Bucky pinning you down so you can’t squirm and he’s just sitting inside you while he tortures your clit feeling you clench around him. He makes you cum over and over until he finally cums.

Overstimulation + super soldier stamina = …

- 🍯

Dear God, I know I just don't have it in me to behave during cock-warming. When it comes down to it, I genuinely have no patience at all 😵‍💫

"You..." Bucky begins, pressing you down onto the bed before gripping your ankles and forcing you to flip over onto your front. "Have a problem with control."

With your face turned away from him, you can't help but smile to yourself. No one has ever said it out loud but you know he's right.

Being in control is where you're most comfortable. No hands are safer than your own. Except maybe his. You know he won't fuck this up.

"And you..." He continues, gathering your wrists behind your back, holding them tightly with one hand. "Need to learn how it feels to have control taken from you. Do you understand?"

As soon as you begin to nod your head, you feel him start to tape around your wrists, holding them together behind your back. Once he's content they're secure, he sits on the edge of the bed, facing the mirror before he pulls you onto his lap.

"Legs spread over the top of mine." He orders and you do as you're told, not because you have to but because you want to.

You notice the way your cunt is already glistening in the mirror and you're almost embarrassed because he hasn't even touched you yet.

"Fuck, you're made for this." He groans, lining his cock up to your slick entrance and you wonder if he's holding his breath too while he slides into you, as deep as your bodies will allow.

You're obsessed with the sight in front of you; your own naked body, with your legs spread so far apart you can see how your cunt is stuffed full of him.

Being shorter though, your feet can't touch the ground like this. There's no way you'll get enough leverage to fuck yourself on him but as soon as you start to tell him that, he silences you with two thick fingers between your lips.

"I'm not letting you fuck me." His free hand roams over your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples and then settling between your spread thighs.

"I'm going to play with you. I'm going to see how much you can take. I'm going to work out exactly how you like your clit stroked and I'm going to do that until your legs are shaking and your body won't let you cum any more. Maybe then I'll fuck you but sweetheart, that will be hours from now." His breath is hot against the side of your face, his fingers slipping from your mouth to your waist while he starts to flick gently against your clit.

"I'm going to start slowly. I'm going to do everything I can to drag this out as long as possible. I can feel every clench and flutter of this pretty little cunt and I'm going to enjoy it until you're dripping over my balls." At this rate, it won't be long until you're dripping onto the carpet, never mind over him. You dreamed he'd want to take control like this but you never imagined the way your body would respond.

"And then, when you've cum more times than you can handle, I'm going to tell you that I love you while I fuck you like I don't."

Update: Part 2

[delta-lethonomia]

There's a reddit thread on the BG3 sub where the user u/InklingRain posted a spreadsheet they made with all the companion approvals. Super useful in general both for playing the game and for fic, so I thought I'd post it on tumblr and play around a little!

There's a top row with the average approval by companion, but I didn't find that very useful, so I changed it to the count of approvals (i.e. count of approvals & disapproval total, how often a companion had a reaction to something). We all know Astarion gives a lot of disapprovals here and there, but they're only -1 at a time, so no big deal, right?

No. Minsc has the least at only 45 reactions, Halsin at 95, Minthara at 145, and of the main companions, Gale is pretty average at 198, Lae'zel at 224, and Shadowheart, rather opinionated at 258...

but that's nothing compared to Astarion's 406. That's almost 150 more than the next person!!! That's more than Minthara and Shadowheart combined! Babygirl really woke up one day and decided to get in a snit over everything that happens 😂

(Longer post about count of positive and negative opinions, sum of approvals and disapprovals, and some major outliers below. Picture with values at the very end.)

But that's a bit disingenuous. If we look at the ratio of positive to negative opinions (not taking value into account), Astarion's pretty average at 30% (negative count over sum count, so let's call that negativity). This is similar to Gale (31%), Karlach (30%), and Lae'zel (32%). In theory, getting Astarion's approval or disapproval is just as easy as any of theirs, with a 20% bias towards positive approvals. Later companions are weighted heavily towards the lower end of the spectrum, with Jaheira at 13% negativity and Minsc at 9%. As you only get them very late, it's pretty clear that the game gives you a lot of opportunities to get their approvals and thus open up more of their quests and dialogue.

However. We have an outlier. Wyll Ravenguard, clocking in at an indecent 38% negativity! Which really just goes to show, while Astarion is the most opinionated, Wyll has the most disapprovals, making him the judgiest companion of all 🤣

However, this really wouldn't be a good post if we didn't look at the value of approvals. Karlach, for instance, has the strongest disapproval value of -100 (given if you sleep with her and then call it a mistake). Ouch. This is clearly at outlier and doesn't say much about Karlach's changeability of opinion in general. If we look at the sum of positive and negative opinions, this is a very heavy swing, making up 100 points of her total 191 disapproval points possible to her 281 approvals total. Another outlier is Minsc, who currently possesses a 43% disapproval percentage (a heavy -50 disapproval given if you sacrifice him to Sarevok. Jaheira, by contrast, apparently doesn't give a damn, or her value might simply not be included in the dateset.)

Removing outliers is really a matter of opinion here, so I'll only remove the most extreme swings, such as the above mentioned disapprovals.

The otherwise strongest swings are Astarion (-15 for telling him it was a mistake preventing him from drinking Araj's blood, or saying you only wanted to sleep with him, not deal with his trauma) and Wyll (+20 for siding with Karlach during his confrontation with her, which really shows he didn't really want to kill her and is very grateful you stopped him). Halsin gives +40 for reuniting Oliver with Thaniel, which...lifting the shadow curse is sort of his life's mission, and a bit of a unique case, so while it makes sense, I think it's such a unique event that can't be topped by anything else and will remove it. Jaheira give +20 for extending the Emperor's protection to Minsc, and, for funsies, Minthara's heaviest disapproval is -5 for donating to Lolth at the Stormshore Tabernacle. (lol)

I only chose to remove the aforementioned Karlach, Minsc, and Halsin values, as they're all very large swings and rather character-defining or personal to the individuals mentioned, so I don't think it says much about them in a more general day-to-day sense.

Now, using the sums of our negative and positive values, Gale is our most Negative Nancy, clocking in at 37%, which goes to show that while he's pretty average for the amount of things he cares about, when he disapproves, it's a strong one. Next up is Astarion at 35%, and Wyll at 34%. Lowest are Jaheira and Minsc at 7% and 4% respectively, which makes an intuitive sort of sense: Jaheira is old and just over being upset by the players poor choices, and Minsc is an insanely positive person overall. The next most positive companion is Halsin at 13%, which also matches with his vibe pretty well, followed by Minthara at 17%, Karlach at 24%, Lae'zel at 26%, and Shadowheart at 28%.

Tl;dr: Astarion has many, many opinions, but Wyll is the most judgemental (most disapprovals compared to approvals possible). However, when it comes to the strength of those disapprovals, Gale reigns supreme, followed by Astarion.

If don't break Karlach's heart, help Halsin achieve his life's ambition, or sacrifice Minsc, then they're pretty positive overall. Later companions are heavily weighted to approve of your actions, and Minthara is comparatively judgemental, but overall far more easy to gain approval than disapproval from.

If you take the average of all these values and include the later companions to look at as a personality "baseline" of how judgy and how strong those disapprovals may be, then...the Act 1 companions are all dramatic af, which really should come to no ones' surprise, while Karlach is the most willing to give the benefit of the doubt imo.

[self-loving-vampire]

Unrelated: A lot of people think they'd be mages in a fantasy setting but don't know anything about math or programming in their current lives.

The world they already live in has a magic system and they just neglect it. They consider it boring or impenetrable.

Honestly I kind of sympathize since school is usually horrible at teaching that kind of thing but still. The most wizard-coded people are the ones who Understand Math.

[theluckiestlb]

girl...WHEN??? WHERE????

what are you talking about???? when you kept him isolated for 14 years??? when you robbed him of bodily autonomy???? when you exposed him to his mother's corpse to akumatize him, TWICE????

wait, wait—OH you mean when he was terrified for his life, literally begging you to stop after you beat him up. my bad.

no? OH, you mean when you forced him to leave the country and the love of his life.

Huh.

[kathaynesart]

It is that time of year again, though this one is a little more special, I suppose. Wish I could do more, but I'm super busy with the Replica Holiday Special and a few other projects! A lot of people really liked my TED Talk last year about aging, so I guess I could give an update on that for those interested!

The big 4-0. It feels strange, being here and not feeling like I should be. I was always a Toys R Us kid / Lost Boys brat who never wanted to grow up and did everything possible to make it so! Still do I suppose, haha. The older I get, the quicker time seems to fly. It literally feels like my 39th was a month or so ago. But I also feel like I'm able to retain and understand so much more.

This past year has been intense. I dealt with the loss of a dear friend even younger than myself and went through a major cancer scare that really put my life into perspective. Through it all, being a part of this community has been a bedrock and something to focus my mind on as I grappled with these daunting aspects of my life. To be creative again has brought so much new energy into my life and being surrounded by so many other wonderful, supportive creatives and followers has been the greatest blessing.

Each of you who have sent me art, or words of encouragement, or questions have only added to this wonderful experience. And while I cannot answer them all due to time and shear mass, I still read each and every one of them, and I thank you. Truly.

There is so SO much I still want to do in this life and for this community, and while it's not something I'm really making any sort of money from, it has been so nice to simply create again. Makes me feel like a kid.

I don't know what this next year will bring but I'm just... so grateful to be alive. It's a true blessing and privilege to grow old that many do not receive in their life. And while I may not truly be "old" in the grand scheme of things compared to many, I, WE ALL, will always be the oldest we have ever been in every moment of our existence. Whether that be 9 or 90. So enjoy your oldest moment every chance you get! <3

[egophiliac]

couple more quickies, because I gotta work through my Shroud-family feelings before I can even begin to process the Diasomnias, please bear with me 🙇

anyway, I couldn't decide which composition I liked better, so I did both!

[critter-covenant]

Class is in session!

Idea inspired from this that I've been meaning to draw for the past few days

[andry-di]

[lovebeatriceplz]

Hiii ! i wanted to know if you could make more Larry’s headcanons??? i love him so much help-

I've been meaning to do this forever but skl started and I'm rlly busy😭

My Larry Johnson headcanons pt. 3 🧚

General and dating

- Fast driver, turns those corners like it's nothing.

- Calls you up at very odd hours of the night/day. Doesn't actually have anything to say, he just wants you to talk to him.

- Enjoys comfortable silences.

- Obsessed with the feel of you, not even in a dirty way. He wants to be in your skin.

- Smells like pine needles and smoke (trust me he told me).

- Wiggles his finger in your ear when he wants you to pay attention to him.

- His humor is either eye watering, floor rolling, perfectly timed comedy or literal dad jokes, there's no in-between.

- Silent treatment does not work on him, you'll end up speaking very quickly.

- Snores like "honk shoo, honk shoo"

- Sensitive scalp, the second your hands are in his hair he's struggling to keep his eyes open.

- Teaches you (or tries to-) anything that he's good at/ interested in. So now you have basic knowledge on guitars, drums , painting, colour theory, video games and.... Hamilton??😧

- He was a theatre kid ok🙄.

- Listens to Mother Mother.

- His love languages are all of them, loves hard.

- Adores gifts, or anything that he receives from you. He's keeping it forever.

- Has ghosting phases, unfortunately. I doubt that they last long (like a day) but he always comes back around.

- Loves matching anything, clothes? Jewelry? Shoes?, he'll do it.

- Licks any part of you he can access then pretends like nothing happened.

- He wants to get close to anybody your close to, and wants to love anything that you love. It's one of the many ways he shows that he cares.

- Silly little guy <3

[8o8o8o8o8]

Much like how our brains can calculate trajectory (aka aim) even when we don't know the formula, I think Gabriel and all angels just intuitively understand advanced math, because what is god's design if not the laws of physics, and what is physics if not applied math.

And you know what is also math? Programming. He would not be entirely wrong to deify V1 as they might as well have divinity running in their circuits. In this essay I will

[mathysphere]

HAPPY PI DAY!

For this year's celebratory pattern I wanted to tackle a dream project of mine: stitching a functional unit circle. The French knots (all 100 of them!) around the lower circle represent the coordinates of each point (sans radicals and negative signs), and the upper circle shows how sine and cosine can be found by following a point around a circle's circumference.

[pattern here] [previous pi day patterns here]