#the man is 6'3 and looks so vulnerable

[calirph]

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐔𝐖𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐗𝐄𝐋 𝐊𝐎𝐕𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐂, 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅 and 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐎

sam watches sensei wolf hit axel.

[flippinpancakes64]

The cullens with reader who is taller than them by a lot and loves to pick them up because of it?

The Cullens with a reader who is taller than them

Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you like this!

Edward:

In the books he is about 6'2 or 188 cm

In the movies he is about 6'0 or 185 cm

He's one of the taller Cullens in both iterations and he is definitely not used to someone being taller than him

Of course, we know he is a traditional man

So his partner being taller than him would freak him out a bit

But he would get over himself don't worry

You can't sneak up on him to pick him up tho

The whole mind reading thing tends to not let that happen

He wouldn't let you do it for a while

Just a touch insecure

But I feel like if you ask enough and really beg him for it he'll let you

And if he sees into your mind to know that your intentions are pure you just want to have some fun

Will swear up and down that he hates it

Secretly he doesn't tho

The only other one who has ever tried to pick him up was Emmett

And that was when they were wrestling and Emmett tried to throw him into next week

He'd never admit that he likes it

But he won't try so hard to stop you in the future

Alice:

In the books she is about 4'8 or 147 cm

In the movies she is about 5'2 or 160 cm

Either way it's not hard to be taller than her

She's not intimidated

She is the shortest Cullen hands down

She's used to it

I honestly feel like she might beat you to it

She sees you after a long day and just runs up into your arms

Her feet are fully off the ground while you're holding her

She wouldn't mind if you pick her up more either

It's her new favorite way to be greeted

Whether she's the one jumping up or you picking her up

She's not beating the tiny allegations and that's okay

Jasper:

He is about 6'3 or 190 cm in the books

And about 5'9 or 175 cm in the movies

He is another one who is a bit traditional

He was a confederate soldier after all sadly

That was back when there were pioneers and women only made cheese and raised kids

He's not used to his partner being taller than him

I mean his other partner is Alice

But he loves you so he stays

It's not a dealbreaker for him anyways

What might be a dealbreaker though? Sneaking up on him and picking him up

He doesn't like feeling vulnerable

It would be a miracle if you managed a sneak attack anyway

So probably don't do that

Ask him nicely and he might consider it

I feel like the best time to get him to say yes though would be if you had a really rough day and he can feel that you are really upset

He would try other things to cheer you up first, but if that doesn't work...

He suggests that maybe holding him would make you feel better?

And of course it does

Again he won't admit that he likes it

Will let you keep doing it tho

But only occasionally

Rosalie:

In the books she is about 5'9 or 175 cm

And in the movies she is about 5'4 or 162 cm

Another one in the middle/average height range

She is used to being shorter

I mean look at her next to Emmett

She wouldn't find it shocking

However I don't think she'd be into being picked up

She is a vengeful, independent woman

Her hobby is taking care of fancy cars

She is not delicate and does not want to be picked up

It reminds her too much of her old fiance

I feel like she might let you do it once in a while though

She isn't cruel after all

She'd treat it like an obligation though

Like going to your partner's favorite restaurant that you hate because you want to see them happy

She might enforce a system around it

"If you do three favors for me of my choice I'll let you pick me up"

Or something along those lines

Overall it's not her favorite but she'll let you

Emmett:

He is about 6'5 or 195 cm in the books

And about 6'1 or 185 cm in the movies

So finding anyone taller than him?

He is in awe

He loves it tbh

Immediately you two are THE power couple

Literally emphasis on power

You may be his partner but you are also his competition now sorry

Contests on who can jump higher (he wins obv unless you're a vampire too)

Who is faster

And who is stronger

That last one is where you pick him up for the first time

He bet you that you couldn't do it

And obviously you can

He just standing there like that stupid old pikachu meme

"Can you do that again"

New favorite thing unlocked

Even though he hates being bested, he finds that he loves being picked up

It's been a long time since someone's done that to him

He finds it refreshing <3

Esme:

She is about 5'6 or 167 cm in the books

In the movies she's about 5'4 or 163 cm

So another one who's used to being shorter than people

I have a feeling that she would really like being picked up tho

She has a bad history with lovers

That of course being that the only one we know she had before Carlisle was pretty abusive

She loves feeling secure in her relationships (as anyone should) but I feel like she really likes the reminders of it

For example, being the little spoon or walking on the inside on the sidewalk

Or being picked up

She had never even thought of it before you just... did it

Pick her up to give her a kiss and she will melt

Carlisle:

In the books he is about 6'2 or 188 cm

In the movies he is about 5'11 or 180 cm

I know I said Edward was old fashioned...

But this guy is literally the definition of old

He's pretty progressive all things considered

But he does have a hard time wrapping his head around this one

He's not used to being in love with someone who is taller than him

(Don't even get me started if you're a guy or basically anything that's not an AFAB woman... this man is confused and starts questioning his whole existence)

But if he loves you he loves you

And once he's made up his mind to make you his partner then he is content with any differences he may see in his mind

He actually kind of likes it

He doesn't need to do like a crazy vampire jump to reach something that Emmett put super high up anymore

But as far as being picked up?

That's a bit of a reach

After all he's the rock of this whole family

He feels like he can't let his guard down for even a second or they'll be found out by humans or attacked by another coven

So it's a big ask for him

But maybe if you eased into it by being the big spoon a couple times, lifting him off the ground just a little bit when you give him a hug maybe you could get there eventually

Vampire! Bella:

She is about 5'4 or 162 cm in the books

And about 5'5 or 165 cm in the movies

The most progressive (yay!)

She couldn't give less of a damn if you were 8 feet or 4 feet tall

If she loves you she loves you

She would notice your height but honestly wouldn't care

Now if you snuck up on her?

Get ready to get punched sorry

Charlie's a cop he definitely taught her something

Even if while she was human she couldn't use that knowledge effectively

Give her a warning next time

She doesn't mind tbh

As long as she's not doing something you can hold her like a ragdoll for hours

[comfxrtablykai]

Can you please write a jake peralta x criminal! Reader !!

Omg, I'm so sorry😭 I got motivation to write something after sooo long (give me tips btw<3 do y'all prefer first person or second person?)

warnings: use of Y/N, a little bit of betrayal, none other than that really

For my bestest @anyalikeslasagna

Let's all be honest, jake peralta x criminal!Reader would start with a case like doug judy's🎀

"So, what did the man look like, ma'am?" Jake leaned back against the chair in the dark interrogation room. He'd been trying to search for his perp for months and he finally had a new lead: you.

You fidgeted with you fingers and picked your cuticles which indicated your fright. You looked at Jake with doe eyes, a picture of innocence, "the guy was huge. Almost 6'3. He had dark hair and emerald eyes with a dragon tattoo on his neck."

Jake shared a look with Rosa who was standing besides him in the interrogation room, as if they were contemplating whether to trust you or not. "You said you knew where we could find him?" Rosa spoke with natural intimidation in her voice.

"I do." You confirmed and took a deep breath in order to calm your nerves. "But he's a scary guy. My brother was involved in the guy's illeagal and shady stuff— or whatever it is they do, I don't know whether I'd be safe or not there." Your voice cracked as you turned your gaze from Rosa back to Jake, the pretty brunette detective who was most definitely likely to promise your safety.

"We'll promise to keep you safe. You've been through a lot already. Just tell us his location please." Jake spoke with a softer voice than before and it made butterflies flutter in your stomach. He's not like the typical rubbish cops you had met before. His words felt genuine.

"Thank you... I'll tell you his location." You murmured with a flush of roses on you cheeks.

*

You spent the next week with Detective Peralta, trying to catch this 'perp' of yours. The more time you spent with him, the more he made you feel... vulnerable. You almost felt sad lying to him.

The lingered touches, the shared little smiles. It did something to you, made you melt. "Peralta..." you spoke softly just as Rosa and Jake were getting ready to break into the safe house to catch the fake criminal, "I'm scared."

Jake turned to you with a soft smile and grabbed your arm, gently dragging you away from Rosa. He spoke with a gentle tone and his hand cupped your cheek, "don't be, I'll protect you. You can stay out here if you like." The perfect plan to escape, all you had wanted this long. Why did it feel so wrong?

"Detective..." you looked into Jake's brown eyes and couldn't help myself, it felt like you were the only two people in the world at the moment, and you were going to betray him. Your emotions swirling around inside me had created a mess of your heart.

Despite it all, you knew what you had to do. You leaned towards him and pressed your lips against his. At first you thought you had made a mistake until you felt his lips move against yours.

His lips were soft and warm against yours. You felt like honey was cascading down your body as it bloomed from the inside. Yet, his hands were a rough contrast as they grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him to be chest to chest.

When you realised you had been enjoying yourself too much, you pulled away, your body feeling cold and bare. Jake looked disappointed but he smiled a tucked a stray hair strand behind your ear. "I'll be back." He said and went back to his team to break into the safe house.

You smiled bitterly because you knew he would be back. Of course he would be, he's just that good, but you won't be there for him to come back to.

[chaos-is-my-jam]

More Viktor headcanons because I’m trash for this beautiful man:

There are some Vik/V too... Hope there aren't many errors... anyways. ENJOY.

TIRED BISEXUAL DISASTER™

We know this already but this guy is H U G E - 6'3, whoopin' healthy 219lbs and bUILD LIKE A TANK.

I think he's around 48-52 years old.

"I can't, I'm old."

Look I know what I said about socks but hear me out... Vik 100% has a collection of those silly ties with cartoon characters like pokemon etc... he likes that blue one with cats best...

He knew V was special when he finished installing their first implant after they first met and shot him with "So, do I get a lollipop for bein' a brave patient, doc?" with that cheeky smirk of theirs... even if just for shits and giggles Vik actually gave them their lollipop the next time they visited his clinic. "Fine, you my fave doc now, won't go anywhere else."

He has Hamsa and evil eye tattoo on his left pectoral, Misty told him that it meant protection from evil and he thought it fitting as a symbol of starting his career as a ripperdoc - he saves lives after all.

Viktor smokes. Not very often, sometimes he can go several days without cigarettes but if the day at clinic is hard or gods forbid he lost a patient... he smokes like a chimney. By some mysterious coincidence he started smoking even more when V came along. I wonder why?

He genuinely enjoys V's company. He LOVES when they just sit at the clinic and talk or even just sit in silence. Their presence is really refreshing for this old doc.

Once Viktor, Misty, Jackie and V went to actually eat IN the restaurant. Misty and Vik casually sat and talked but, of course, Jack and V had a sword fight with chopsticks and Vik asked the waiter for two regular menus and for two menus for kids. After V called him "dad", "pops" or... wait for it... "daddy" for the rest of the evening, Viktor never made the mistake of going out to eat with V. Both V and Jackie still bring it up sometimes much to doc's dismay. Takeout is much safer option now.

Guess who is the one to always pick up horrendously drunk merc duo at 4am in the middle of the week. Yup. It's Viktor. Usually they wait for him outside, sitting on the pavement, arms on each others shoulders, singing love songs. Sometimes they burst in tears when they see Vik "coz youre the best friend I've had Viky", "yea, doc, there no other like ya".

Dad jokes. That's it.

UNGODLY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE. THIS MAN CAN DRINK AND DRINK AND DRINK AND SAY HES JUST TIPSY. Jackie? Under the table. V? Babbling something about "hopin' there is real afterlife" while hugging toilet bowl. Viktor? Checking if Jack still breathes and holding V's hair if necessary. "Amateurs" he thinks.

One of his most beloved possessions is a teddy bear. A gift from V. A they had put it "for caring for people around you and so you don't feel too lonely here in clinic and, well, for being you". Little fluffy fella has a special place in Vik's heart as well as on his couch right beside the boxing gloves.

No one keeps secrets like he does.

He takes GREAT pride in being the only person who knows V's real name.

Also he's the person who saw V at their most vulnerable. Bleeding, bruised, beaten, drunk, crying.

As true to their promise as they are, he thinks V's loyalty is amusing and rather sweet but also dangerous bUT V JUST WON'T GO TO ANY OTHER RIPPER. Found some new chrome somewhere else? They bought it and had it delivered to Vik's. Small repairs? Go to Vik's. Bleeding out somewhere in Pacifica? Go to Vik's. He swears he will strangle them himself one day.

Nicknames. Doll, Sweetheart, Champ, Captain, Big Guy, Charmer, Knock Out, Honey, Sweet pea, Cupcake, Pumpkin... I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

Usually it's Misty to find him sleeping on his desk but when it's V and Jack... well... let's say sharpie can be pain in the ass to wash off from your face.

Jackie got him pink gauges with daisies. As a joke. HA! Jokes on you Jack. He wears them. P R O U D L Y.

My man loves whisky. Nothing like late friday evening and a glass of liquid gold with ice.

Once, when V was keeping him company at clinic after he closed, he tried to be smooth (we all know the way he moves with that chair on wheels of his)... long story short he misjudged the distance from chair and he fell on his ass with a loud *T H U D*. He sat like that for some time. "Oh my god! Vik, are you ok?" "Yeah, yeah, just... give me a moment..." And that was the end of "Smooth Vik".

Officially Misty is his emotional support spiritualist. Unofficially V is his emotional support idiot merc, but also, like, the cause of most of his frustrations. JESUS V TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IS THAT YOUR ARM THAT YOURE CARRYING IS THAT ANOTHER BULLET WOUND FOR FUCKS SAKE HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE ILL KILL YOU MYSELF I SWEAR. Smeone just give him a hug please.

[msookyspooky]

The most disturbing part of ch 20 I think was just how defenseless Y/n was without her gun. This entire time she's been threatening to kill them, but the moment she lost that gun? It was game over basically. The way Stu ran at her and started screaming at her to shoot him? Absolute insanity. Y/n really didn't want to shoot him even tho he was terrifying her 🤐 and it was that hesitation that got the gun taken.

Without her weapons, Y/n kinda goes back to being her Set Up self bc she's so vulnerable. The idea of a 6'3-6'4 man running at me is terrifying lol as someone who's a woman and very short and small, I wouldn't stand a chance. Billy and Stu could toss me around like a ragdoll and there probably wouldn't be much I could do. I really appreciate how this chapter makes me feel weak😭 it makes you feel so defeated and it had me livid.

I was enraged when Stu got the gun and took complete control of the situation. If it hadn't been for Billy, Y/n's brains might have been splattered all over that wall. Y/n had to run into the bathroom bc she KNEW she couldn't win a fist fight against Stu. When Billy pushed her against the wall, I wanted to start screaming and kicking lol I hated that vulnerability, I hated how Y/n couldn't get to Randy bc of how overpowered she was. It's a sobering thought knowing that yeah, these men CAN and WILL hurt you.

You are not special lol yeah, they care, but if Billy had really wanted to, he could have slit Y/n's throat. If Stu had really wanted to, he could have busted that bathroom door down probably. Y/n's confidence took a hit and I loved it and hated it ❤

THANK YOU YOU GET IT!!!

I'm 5'10, over 250lbs and regularly do heavy weight lifting and I know my tolerance level for being hit in the head/face w/o too much trauma dumping. I know first hand what that helpless, trembling, can't breathe feeling of helplessness and fear feels like. That being said, a normal guy one on one? Yeah, I can hold my own with them. Doesn't mean I'm winning, not by a long shot, but I could hold my own enough to get away. Especially when in fight or flight mode.

But Stu and Billy? You can't even think of them like fighting normal men. It's like fighting someone drunk or drugged or in their case just crazy fueled rage that makes them not feel pain and have 10x the strength they normally do. And the fact there's 2 of them makes it 10x worse. And of course like you pointed out, a smaller person they would toss around like a ragdoll.

I definitely never want to mary sue YN to the point she's some badass kicking crazed mens asses with ease like she's the chosen one. Could some women do that? Yes, I truly do think so. But the average woman? No way. Hell, the average PERSON. Look how scared Randy was of Billy with Stu cornering him in the video store! Their level of mental issues and rage and size especially for Stu and both of them together? You're not getting out of it unless you outsmart them somehow.

We did get a sombering feeling that w/o that gun and even with self defense classes and weapons and fighting them before; it still is a freezing fear of fighting them. It's still not compared to them both enraged coming after us.

We truly didn't have a choice whether it's Ray or not; we got a wake up call that we were right about Stu in chapter 2. One day, we'll piss him off enough that maybe his 'caring' for us goes out the window and...Then what?

[mushroompoisoning]

2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 11, 14, 20, 26, 33, 37, 39, 40, 41, 47, and 54. sorry for so much im invested in my mutuals ocs. also I had to write this twice bc my phone hates me. also for Cain as Cain OC solidarity (had TWO ocs named cain)

oh wow. questions!! :D

everything is under the readmore cus wow theres a lot

2. Gender Identity:

Cain never got the chance to explore his gender or sexuality up until he meets Lee in his like. I wanna say early mid 20's to early 30's? I don't think I ever specified how old the two were

Information you didn't ask for aside, cain is a bigender man and uses he/him and she/her [: contradictory labels my beloved

3. Orientation and relationship status:

She'd gay and ends up dating Lee after a lot of drama and denial. Begrudging allies to lovers my beloved trope

5. Height and body type:

Cain is 6'2-6'3, one of those two it's hard to tell. He's fit! Like a mix between gymbro style fit and someone who actually uses their strength fit; it's for his job

8. Weapon of choice:

Gun. Don't ask me to be specific I'm not a gun person. He has a gun, multiple actually, and she will use

10. Do they have any markings, piercings or scars?

Probably a lot of scars because of the nature of her job, but other than that nope. Better to not have any identifying features y'know?

11. Do they have any notable features?

Nope 😔 Cain is fully human

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

He knows how to cook basic meals and can bake stuff from the mix boxes. She's mostly just eating stuff profession chefs cooked or cereal

20. Clothing / Aesthetic?

While at his job he wears professional business clothes. You know the look, we all know it. Button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, no tie, slacks and boots that don't go with the professional vibe but she wears them anyway.

When not at work she dresses casually. T-shirt or hoodie and either sweatpants or loose jeans

26. Guilty pleasure?

Liking men. /j /j /j

I'd probably have to say breaking someones nose. He's a little fucked up

33. How have they changed over time?

For a lot of his life he stayed a pushover; even after getting tougher later on.

He was a nervous kid who didn't want to lose friends and ended up hanging out with a bunch of homophobes as a result of being too scared to speak up. She eventually gets the courage to drop those friends, though! Not before ruining everything with Lee.

( The two were friends when they were younger but got cut off after Cain reacted badly to Lee coming out )

In current day, Cain tries to play the silent angry stoic type, but he's secretly still anxious and has some Issues.

She's been seeing a therapist and a mandatory thing for her job, so she is getting some help, too!

37. Do they have any phobias?

I don't think I ever came up with any before, so I'm going to say no. Saying gay people is too low hanging of a fruit

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

Either like. Eight shots of espresso or water. No in between. She's very bland sometimes ( which Lee very much let's her know )

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

He most often goes to bed around 5 to 7am and them has to wake up at 10am. She's on a rough schedule

41. What's their morning routine like?

Get up, shower, get dressed, eat and get a coffee, brush teeth and then head to work. Basic routine, nothing special

47. What was their biggest turning point?

Meeting Lee again and getting assigned to look after him. Despite being a dumbass, Lee is actually emotionally intelligent and helped Cain out with some stuff.

Lee didn't hold a grudge years later and helped Cain through her internalized queerphobia [: happy ending!

54. What does your character want? What fo they need?

Men. /j

A shoulder to lean on and maybe even to cry on. Support, basically. He really wants someone he can be close and vulnerable with, even if he's scared of that

Woo all the questions done [:

[erotic-writing]

Lockdowns are ending and the summer will soon be here: this is a story to remind us all of what we can look forward to

Pool Party

Cat’s best friend Anna had invited her and James to a party at one of her fellow swim club members’ houses. He had a pool so swim suits needed and bring any drinks etc that she wanted. Anna knew they both enjoyed a good party, had bikini bodies and were fun to be around. Anna quietly fancied James and she knew that 2 or 3 of her clubs' guys thought Cat was smoking hot, so for them to see her in her swim suit would be a big turn on.

Knocking on the door James gave Cat a quick kiss, both looking forward to the party, wine and beers in a bag, costumes on under their clothes. Her brown hair was tied up in a pony, her pert young body glowing from the summer sun. The door was opened by an Adonis, tall, super trim and swimmer fit, not an ounce of fat, no over blown muscles, just wow. Cat’s eyes opened wide, he was wearing spandex speedos with a loose linen shirt unbuttoned over his perfect chest and abs. They were ushered inside, drinks put in the fridge and then taken outside to meet the rest of the party. Anna was there, blonde and lithe in a one piece costume, she smiled and waved. There were 3 other guys, all older, late twenties to mid thirties but all well over 6'3", toned and fit. All wearing regulation speedos their bodies hairless and the bulges impressive. Anna caught Cat looking and grinned, "they look even better without the trunks" she called over. Cat blushed as the guys looked over all laughing, she wasn't sure if it was with her or at her. James had walked over to Anna and was chatting, sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water, both sucking on a cold beer. Cat was soon escorted over to the other end of the pool where the guys were showing off their diving skills. Tom, Harry, Joe and John....all at their peak and they all knew it too.

Cat soon stripped down to her costume, high cut on the leg showing plenty of arse and waist and narrow across her pert breasts, the guys whistled in admiration, she blushed and James looked over, a slight grin on his face. He was always amazed by how much it turned him on when Cat was openly admired and complimented, although she was 19 she wasn't worldly and he had never voiced this facet of their relationship, sure that she would be horrified and think him a pervert or worse. They were soon diving in and messing about, general horseplay on the surface but there was an underlying sexual tension that neither Luke nor Anna missed. Touches on arms and bodies lasting just a little too long, Cat being paid a lot of attention, all from guys with looks and bodies to die for. She was obviously enjoying the attention, her slim tanned fingers holding on to hard arms and shoulders for balance, her teeth constantly showing between her lips as she constantly smiled and laughed.

Anna looked at James, saw the rapt expression on his face and realised that he was loving the show, in fact the bulge in his trunks was growing as he watched Cat laughing and touching the swim team. She smiled at him and touched him lightly on his thigh, ostensibly to get his attention. He looked guiltily at her, her fingers still on his thigh, the jolts of electricity from them hitting him hard causing him to suck in air sharply. He put his hand on hers and pressed it down, making her hand grip his leg. She asked him how much it turned him on to see Cat being flirted with and touched in the pool. He tried to explain that it was about seeing her happy and excited, that she could have fun and satisfaction with another man without him getting jealous and that her doing that, having sex while he watched would be the most incredible turn on.

Anna nodded, saying she understood how he felt, that the ability to allow your partner to be totally fulfilled would be a massive turn on for her too.

She finished her beer and slipped into the pool to cool down. She was a little older than Cat and younger than James, 21 years old and stunning. Blonde hair, blue eyes, body toned from swimming but breasts still full. Luke watched her swim, still able to feel where her hand had rested on his thigh. Anna pulled Cat out of the melee that was the guys around her and they had a quiet chat and slow swim around the pool. They both smiled and blew kisses as they passed James. Anna had a chat with Tom before grabbing a couple more beers and swimming back to James.

She pulled herself out in one smooth motion, her breasts straining against the spandex swim suit, her nipples hard from the chill water. Chatting she asked if he found her attractive which of course he did, she stroked his arm and told him she had often dreamt of him, naked and restrained with her teasing and tormenting him, taking him to the edge of orgasm then stopping until eventually she would let him cum. Jame's cock responded when he found he couldn't. Lost for words and his breathing faster and shallower, blood roaring in his ears, cock twitching in his trunks, hard already. Anna continued saying how much the guys fancied Cat and vice versa, she thought they were all incredibly hot and couldn't choose who was the most attractive, She said that Cat had told her she could fuck any one of them. So Anna had a plan, she wanted to tie James to a lounger where she would toy with him and Cat would play with one of the guys while he watched.

James was stunned, his ultimate fantasy was about to become reality, he lay on the padded lounger and Anna and Tom tied him down, ropes around arms and chest.

Cat came over and kissed him, her mouth parting and her tongue grazing his, her kiss urgent and deep. She smiled at him when he asked who she was going to play with and how far was she going to go, as far as a blow job?

She laughed out loud and told him it was impossible to choose so it was all four of them and she wouldn't stop at a blow job, she wanted to get fucked good and hard so now it was a gang bang. James was struggling against the bonds, shocked and horrified at what was happening. He hadn't truly considered how he would feel if Cat had agreed to anything like this. Fooling around was one thing but being fucked by 4 men was quite another. Cat, still smiling, told him that although his fantasy was fine this was hers and hoped he would enjoy the show as much as she intended to. Another kiss, this time Anna pressing her mouth to his, she paused to watch Cat peel her wet costume down over her breasts, they popped out with nipples erect, stepping out of it completely her shaved pussy and arse glistening wet from the pool, water droplets from her hair running down over her breasts.

Anna slides her hand across Luke's chest and rakes her nails across the waistband of his trunks, fingertips easing under the elastic, Cat places a hard nipple between his parted lips, he sucks it greedily, gasping with desire. She spins away and sits on the adjacent lounger, naked and vulnerable as the swim team walk over. James is watching, both fascinated and horrified, his beautiful girlfriend was giving herself to these 4 well hung fit guys and he could do nothing to stop it happening (even if he had truly wanted too, which of course he didn’t!). He felt Anna's hot breath through his shorts, breathing onto his throbbing cock. The team step out of their speedos and 4 hard erect cocks spring upwards all bearing down on Cats beaming face. She reaches out her hands and puts her head back, mouth open and ready to take the first cock deep into her throat.

Tom is first and he slides his cock between her lips, his hand twisted into her wet hair. She can taste the chlorine and pre cum, thick and glossy on the tip of his shaft. He slides in and doesn't stop until he is ball deep, Cat gags but relaxes and he pulls her head further back. Harry and Jo's cocks are in her hands and she is rubbing then, slipping her thumbs across the heads of each and running her fingers down their lengths. John is stroking his cock across her breasts and erect nipples while his hand slides between her legs caressing her smooth pussy, cupping her mound and squeezing tight.

James is bewitched and his cock is straining against his trunks. Anna eases them down and licks the tip of his cock with her hard tongue

Tasting and savouring his hardness she looks up at him to see him engrossed in the developing scene alongside him. She sucks one of his ball into her mouth and squeezes down, hard enough to get his attention and remind him that she is still there. Hand cupping his balls she licks and kisses up his shaft, sucking up his pre cum that is leaking copiously from his cock, the blood vessels pumping blood into him, pulsing with each heartbeat. She is stroking him harder, peeling his foreskin back then pushing her mouth down over the head, James pushing his hips up to meet her mouth. She can sense his excitement growing and he is getting close to orgasm, she stops, no touching at all, like cold turkey all new sensation is gone and his throbs subside slowly. His gaze falls back on Sylvia, she catches his eye and smiles at him the best she can, a mouthful of cock makes it harder to do. Tom is riding her face hard, thrusting his cock deep into her mouth while still pulling her hair hard so he maintains rhythm and momentum. Her eyes are glazed, spittle and pre cum running down her chin and over her breasts. John is seductively rubbing these juices, along with his own, into her breasts and nipples, both shining and glistening wet, hard in the sunshine. Sylvia is pumping both cocks with her hands, Harry and Jo are touching her body, stroking, squeezing and slapping her just hard enough to make her squeal with delight. Jo lifts her effortlessly and cups her arse cheeks, squeezing hard, her strokes increase as she is increasingly turned on. John has his fingers pressed hard onto her clit, hard and wet, peaking out from its hood as he spreads her labia wide open. Rubbing and teasing her she is moaning, Tom still fucking her face, johns fingers slide into her, first 1 then 2 and now 3, stretching her tight young pussy. Jo has worked his hand down between her arse cheeks and having rolled her slightly over on to her side begins to gently play with her asshole, fingers stroking around it, up to her pussy across the sensitive bridge of skin then back again, slowly pressing a finger into her arse. She is writhing now, unable to focus on the cocks in her hands, as fingers explore her holes with varying degrees of urgency. Tom pulls out and is immediately replaced by John, equally large and he is pounding her face, her lips feel bruised and her throat feels like it is being shredded but she doesn't care, this is what she wanted and it is far exceeding her expectations.

She is flipped over onto her knees, arse in the air, face over the front of the lounger. She feels Toms cock start a long inexorable penetration of her exposed pussy, she is dripping wet and although he is taking it slow, oh so slow, he is huge and her pussy feels like it could split any second. She has never felt so penetrated and possessed, never felt so full like this. Her orgasm is building ever closer and she feels fingers on her clit and in her arse, slipping in and out alternating with Toms cock in her pussy. The sensation is unlike anything she has ever felt, she starts to cum, her body quivering with spasms, her eyes rolling and mewling like a small animal, the guys don't stop and her orgasm pulses on and on, her legs going weak and almost forgetting to breath she gulps air in as John cums deep in her throat, hot spunk is shot down her, she feels it sliding down her throat, she can't swallow as johns cock is too big to allow her to. Tom is pumping his incredibly hard cock deep inside her and with a huge groan she feels his hot spunk splash into her, his pumping mixing his and her juices together. He pulls out, still stroking his cock over her arse to maximise his orgasm.

Joe lays next to her and she is lifted up and onto him, her pussy is suspended above his cock, her orgasm still shuddering through her body she feels herself being lowered onto him. His cock isn't as long as Toms but is thicker and she feels her pussy stretched more as he fully penetrated her. She starts rocking up and down on his cock, rubbing her clit hard into his pubic bone, the sensation bringing her back to orgasm almost immediately. She feels something warm and wet on her arse and then Harry has his cock easing into her tight ass. She has never done anal before so is stunned by the pain that shoots through her body, she yells, he slows, more lube but still pressure on her asshole. Harry tells her to relax and push her arse back towards him, she looks at James, Anna stroking his cock, his eyes glazed and a desperate look on his face. Cat maintains eye contact with him as she presses back onto Harry's cock, she feels it slowly enter her passage, past muscle and relaxing more pushes hard on him, his cock sliding deep into her ass, the pain still in the background but pleasure and lust overtaking it. She feels incredible, pussy and arse so full, so much pleasure, so satisfied and fulfilled. Electricity was coursing through her body and orgasm after orgasm ripping through her.

James is mesmerised, Anna is still sucking his hard cock deep into her mouth, rimming his arse and sucking his balls. Every time he gets close to orgasm she edges him and stops everything until he calms down and the need to empty his balls passes. The combination of her taking him to the edge and Cat cumming hard with all those cocks invading her body had him desperate for release. Anna straddles his tied and prone body and leaning down over him kisses him long and hard, Cat is watching and smiles over at them both, Anna manoeuvres James’ cock between her labia and slides his cock up and down her pussy, tormenting her clit with each thrust. She lifts herself off him and places the head of his cock into her pussy and lowers herself in one movement down onto his cock, he is so hard and wet he feels enormous, she knows he won't last long so buries her pussy onto him and gyrates her hips around him her clit rubbing and grinding into his pubis. She was close to cumming and starts pumping up and down his cock feeling the head pushing into her, her g spot stimulated with each gyration. Her pussy starts to contract as her orgasm builds and suddenly explodes, her orgasm driving the breath from her body. She feels James's cock start to spasm and feels his hot spunk shoot deep into her pussy. His cock pumping still she rides him, hard grinding her clit into him desperate to cum again. He pushed his hips up and used the leverage to keep his cock deep inside her. Anna starts to rub her fingers over her clit, harder and faster closer and closer to another orgasm. James is already cumming again and his cock hardens as he does tipping Anna over the edge again.

Tom is standing next to Cat and she has been fondling his balls as she calmed down, Harry and Joes cocks flaccid and slipping out of her pussy and arse. John still wants a piece of her and places his hard cock over her pussy lips, she presses backward and feels the head sliding into her swollen and very wet pussy. Tom has his now hard cock by her mouth and she licks the tip, tasting both of them on it, gripping the shaft she pushes her mouth down over the head, John is pressing his cock into her, sliding in easily now even though his cock is the biggest. Cat has been stretched and used, her pussy and arse are full of cum but she can still feel him, hard and solid inside her, pumping in and out of her. He starts to cum and presses as far into her as he can then grinds hard into her pussy. He slips his thumb into her arse and pumps it in hard and fast. She feels herself start to cum, she is exhausted but her body won't stop, her orgasm sending spasms driving through her body leaving her legs wobbly and useless. Tom is close, she pushed her finger deep into his arse to help speed him up, she needed to collapse desperately. He holds onto her head and pulls out of her mouth, sending a jet of spunk across her face and eyes. She licks her lips and lays down, prone and shattered but totally sated.

Anna untied James and watched him move over to Cat, he held her close kissing her gently and tenderly, her smiling up at him, completely satisfied and happy.

Beers in hand and all of them smiling and chatting, the sexual energy still there but much reduced, everyone agreed that the party had been a huge success and that they should all definitely do it again before the summer was over.

[kngofhell]

sam, 28, cst, they/she, self harm ⇢ i swear i just saw TOM ELLIS out on the streets but it turned out to be ELIAS MORGAN. HE was born on JULY 24TH 1984 making them only  THIRTY SIX years old. they’re known to be +ARTICULATE +CHARMING and -HEDONISTIC -VULGAR. they spend most of their time being a CLUB OWNER/MOB BOSS. rumour has it they’re BISEXUAL and can be found in downtown la . you know you’ve found them when you come across BRUISED KNUCKLES, THE SMELL OF TOBACCO AND VANILLA, AND DARK DANGEROUS EYES.

tw abuse, drug use, guns, violence, murder, anxiety/panic attacks and a VERY BRIEF mention of r*pe,  under the cut.

HI EVERYONE! It’s sam, your friendly neighborhood admin. This is elias morgan, my messy bad boy with a good heart. He’s based off of Lucifer from the show Lucifer, Harvey Specter from Suits, and a bunch of other characters that would be too long to list.  for easy info, you can find his stats at THIS link and his wanted connections at THIS link, but here is his basic bio!

Born in Cardiff, but raised in London, Elias was technically an only child until his father had an affair five years after he was born, this resulted in a younger half brother and younger half sister. His father, who claimed to be a godly man, was verbally, and sometimes physically abusive, and while his mother had a habit of showering him with attention, she did not much to stop his father from the abuse, and that led Elias to resent her (though he still harbors love for her, and sometimes misses her.)

When he was 18 years old, he came out as bisexual to his parents. His mother was receptive, but his father was not. He kicked him out and cut him off. Elias, who worked hard in school, decided to chance it across the pond and went to University in the states.

He knew it would be hard, but he couldn’t predict the life he would fall into.New York itself, and New York University were expensive, and after stumbling into the wrong bar one night, getting into a bar fight, and impressing the owner of the place,  Elias somehow fell into the mob, mostly as someone who would fight, defend if they needed to, acting as a body guard mostly to the bosses daughter.  

but he slowly worked his way up in the ranks, becoming a second hand to the head. He was strapped with his own weapon, learned the importance of always looking his best, and always being intimidating. Make them both love you and fear you, and he mastered that.

The money was more than good and the lifestyle was hedonistic, just what he liked. Men and women fell at his feet, unlimited access to alcohol and top scale drugs. He worked out a balance of school, and ‘work’.

Soon, Elias found something else he could do, with the power he held from the mafia, he had a lot of connections, and started doling out favors, sometimes he had a returned favor in mind, and sometimes, he would take an IOU, and he’d call them deals with the devil. A play on the way his father used to tell him he would ‘beat the devil out of him’ when he was younger.

When he was around twenty one years old, he started dating the bosses daughter, the one he was stationed to look after.  They had a whirlwhind, passionate romance, but it ended when she cheated on him and left. She was his first love, and she broke his heart. He vowed to never fall in love again after that and it worked, he slept around with men and women for years.

The first deal Raphael ever made with Elias was offering him a job to run things from Los Angeles. he’d get to open the club he always dreamed of, they had found a large building, which Elias would own outright, and he’d secure himself a penthouse and his dream job and full control of things from the west coast.

The deal entailed that he’d be working with them for the rest of his life, though. He didn’t mind that too much. So he moved across the country and set up his life in Los Angeles.

Elias is pretty well known, being the owner of a popular night club, and a bit of a slut, people tend to notice, and remember the 6'3 brit with a too charming smile. He throws a lot of parties, both just for the fun of it, or for charity.

Despite the lifestyle he lives, and the hard exterior, he’s fiercely loyal and protective of the people he considers his found family, the small circle he does have.

True to form, Elias has had multiple hook ups, but not as many “friends with benefits” as he’s more of a one and done kind of person, but about a year ago he met a girl in a bar and, to his surprise, he didn’t want it to be one and done.

He’s been sleeping with Casey Wells for about a year, and they found out she was pregnant, with twins. They’re his. Elias, who vowed never to fall in love, is currently finding himself having a lot more feelings for Casey than he originally planned, and is a lot more vulnerable around her than he’s ever been before.

Elias has been in Los Angeles for 11 years, has been with Casey for a year and a half, the twins were born on February 2nd 2020.  He;’s softened up when it comes to his family a lot more largely because of his love for Casey and the twins, but make no mistakes his still as hard and intimidating as he needs to be in his job.

small but still important facts:

has had to kill for his job. also has been shot for his job. he is usually always strapped with a gun and has custom bullet proof vests made.  He’s been trained to never leave a trace/evidence.

He doesn’t deal with sex work at all,  except for having strippers in the club unless there is full consent for anything more, and he has a bodyguard with each girl if they do agree to something more.

He tends to kill people who do things like hurting others, (r*pe, abuse etc)

has major anxiety/panic attacks due to the abuse in his past and sure, a lot of the stuff he has to do.

has been in los angeles for 11 years

he’s a dork,  from harry potter to mythology, he reads a lot and watches super hero movies and all of that, he’s not just guns and drugs and blood, he’s a soft boy occasionally, too.

has two cats that he spends FAR too much time cuddling, named Cain and Abel

[fancyfade]

[image set: one big group picture, followed by a close up of every individual character. The group shows the 7 main characters in the Justice League TV show: Martian Manhunter, a thin, green skinned martian dressed in a cape, a red chest harness (but no shirt0, and blue briefs and boots. he’s kind of slouching. Next is John Stewart, the Green Lantern, a black man with a lean athletic body, wearing a black and light green green lantern outfit. He has short black hair and is holding his ring up to his chest.

Third is Wonder Woman, a very tall and buff white woman with thick arms. She has long black hair and is wearing her classic red, blue, and gold costume that is shaped like a once piece bathing suit. Next to her is Superman, a white man with black hair combed neatly. He has a thick torso and arms, and is holding his hands out welcomingly and smiling. After him is Batman, a short lean white guy in a black and grey suit with a cape, scowling and holding a batarang.

After him is the Flash, who here is tall and skinny but with buff legs. he’s running forwards while smiling and making finger guns, dressed in his red full body costume and yellow boots. Next to him is Hawkgirl, who is short and stout and wearing a yellow tube top with red underpants and green leggings. She’s wearing a bird shaped helmet and holding a mace. 

After a close up of all their bodies, there is a final image of Martian Manhunter’s alien form. He’s naked as an alien, with digitigrade feet and a skinny body and a banana shaped head. end image]

Justice League Body Test by Fade31415

Okay, just copying most of my commentary from deviant art, because there I explain why I gave everyone which body type

Just trying to figure out how I would draw these guys in my style, since Bruce Timm style translates really badly to my style, I had to start from the ground up and figured I'd figure out how I wanted them to work. Below is their height in feet and inches, and my logic for why I picked that body type. Martian Manhunter - 6'3" (in “humanized” form. in his others, he’s 6′6″ if you measure at the top of his brain (and not the pointy part)). I drew J'onn's more alien form before this (the one he met Superman in) and it wound up kind of long and thin. I think I was accidentally inspired by the young justice martians, cuz I couldn’t find a full body type ref for his alien form from the show. I figured it'd keep some of those aspects when I drew him here. He's tall because I think he is one of the tallest (or the tallest?) league member in the show.

John Stewart - 5'10". For John, I looked up height and weight regulations for the US Army (since he's an ex-soldier) and once I had those in mind, reffed someone with similar proportions. He should look athletic, but kind of lean, since I think they required you to be fairly light (or my family being on the heavy side has lead me to think that the "norm" for other people is really light). Wonder Woman - 6'6". Wonder Woman I kind of gave the "heroic ideal" body type that people use a lot. She has a kind of Y-shaped torso with wider shoulders than hips, but still a muscular waist because it's hard to be super strong with a tiny waist. She should look tall and intimidating in my opinion - it's kind of a pet peeve of mine when she looks like a tiny teenager compared to Superman and Batman. So I let her be the tallest member of the League. Superman - 6'3". Superman has a body built for strength, just like Wonder Woman, even though neither of them technically *need* it, since they're already really strong. As suggested by a friend of mine, he's got a thick waist and kind of a wrestler/weight lifter aesthetic, which I think is fitting for the guy who in some incarnations can lift a planet.

Batman - 5'4". Okay, I know the Batman one might be controversial because comic artists normally draw him just as tall and buff as Superman. But when I was thinking of these, I was thinking of how these characters would use their powers. And honestly, going toe-to-toe with the big guys means Batman has to avoid getting hit, since he has the vulnerability of one (1) squishy human. So I reffed an olympic gymnast body type for him, who wound up being kind of short. But I figured it would make sense for him. Flash - 6'0". For the Flash, I reffed a long distance runner. I wanted him to look fast. So he's got thin arms, a thin torso, and buff legs. Also zero body fat, because he runs around all day, how's he gonna build it up?

Hawkgirl - 5'5". For Hawkgirl, I reffed a boxer. I wanted her to look like someone who used her upper body a lot, because she a) flies all the time (with wings that are biowings in this canon) and b) has a main fighting style of hitting people with her mace. Honestly, this is how I've imagined her for a long time - I like it when she looks like she could kick your butt.

[quietlyplottingmischief]

My stance on transgender

I will be the first person to admit that I don't fully understand the emotions and reasons behind someone who wants to transition or has transitioned or somewhere in the middle. But here is the thing, I don't have to understand those things to accept people's decisions without judgement. If it makes someone happy to do this, then I'm all for it. Everyone has the right to do what makes them happy as long as it doesn't cause harm to others. I also will admit that I don't really know of fully understand all of the different types of genders and everything that falls under the LGBTQ labels. I don't like that either. I understand the basics, but I don't really know the more detailed distinctions. So, please be patient if I speak incorrectly. Please inform me if I do, so I can correct myself. I love evolving and I don't like sounding ignorant. I do not mean to. I am not very good at social situations, I already feel uncomfortable with new people, I feel like in some circumstances that I will say the wrong thing. I want to be able to walk up to someone who is different than me and ask them deep questions and truly get to know them, but most people find that awkward or misunderstand me and feel like I am attacking them, when in reality I want to understand them. No one has to justify to me why this has made them happy or their emotions and reasons for doing it. That is something that is very personal to them, they shouldn't have to talk about if they don't want to. However, if someone would like to explain some of their thought process to me, I'd love to hear it. I love learning new knowledge, and having a better understanding of the world around me. I don't like being ignorant to things. I like learning peoples motives, I've always loved learning this kinds of things. But, I want them to do it because they want to, not because they feel they have to. I have never been in the same situations as transgender people, so I will never be able to fully understand it, and that's ok. I will never experience these emotions or thoughts so it is hard for someone like me to fully comprehend the reasons for it, however I can try my best to get the best understanding of it as I can. Having diversity and people who see things through different perspectives and different lifestyles is what makes the world work. We need people to be different to grow. The world would be a sad place if we were all the same. There would be no progress, there would be no one to push the limits of society. No one to question right and wrong. Life would be stagnant and boring. When I was about 19 I was working on retail. It was a small woman's clothing store. We had one person come in who was transgender or along those lines. I am no sure exactly how this person wanted to be referred to as because I never knew if I could ask without being insulting. So for this story I will call this person them/they. They were like 6'3 and broad, even kept their mustache. When they would come in to shop, I noticed how hard to was to find clothing that fit their body well. Also I saw the looks they got from their customers -and their discomfort, and I felt bad for how uncomfortable clothes shopping was for them. I went out of my way to let them know when I would be working and when we were typically dead. They started coming in on those days, and we had great fun trying on clothes and finding what worked for them. The pure gratitude I got from them made me sad, they shouldn't have to be overwhelmingly happy because someone actually tried to help them. For Christmas that year, they got me a 100 dollar visa gift card and the sweetest thank you card. I would say that person made a pretty big impact on my life. It showed me the struggle they went through living in a small town. It made me realize that most people didn't treat them like a person when they went out. Since then, whenever I meet a transgender person, I always go out of my way to make conversation with them and to make eye contact and to let them know I see them and I am ok with them. That experience taught me that a little acceptance can go a long way for a person. That a little bit of effort on my part, can go a long way for someone who feels like an outcast. I don't understand why people feel the need to make people who are different feel so bad about themselves. Why people are so mean and nasty. Why it even matters to them. And honestly the bathroom arguments are ridiculous, there are stalls, it's not like everything is in the open in a women's bathroom. People are trying to protect women because "we are fragile and vulnerable ", but transgender people are already a targeted group for violence, why make it worse. Here's a news flash, perverted men can enter the woman's bathroom without putting on woman's clothes, there is really nothing to stop them. Plus, I'd say I'd be as uncomfortable with a fully transitioned man in the woman's bathroom, even though their birth certificate says they were born a female and they would feel just as uncomfortable too. Just saying.

[flauntpage]

Marcus Mariota Has A Brighter Future Than "La La Land": The NFL Underground Mailbag

Welcome to the NFL Underground Mailbag. Ask Chris Harris your question about the NFL, general sports or cultural minutiae at HeyHarris@HarrisFootball.com. Follow him @HarrisFootball.

Drew J.: Which team you viewed as a non-contender when the season ended now looks like a contender after free agency and the draft?

Dammit, Drew, you're just waiting for me to say "Jacksonville Jaguars" so you can send this column to Deadspin in about six months with the email subject line "Can You Believe They Pay This Douchebag To Pontificate About The NFL?"

I'm not going to say Jacksonville Jaguars, but I do think this generation of drunken-sailor spending on defense (Calais Campbell, A.J. Bouye, Barry Church) will go better than last year's (Malik Jackson, Tashaun Gipson, Prince Amukamara). The problem in Hooterville is, as ever, named Bortles.

Read More: Myles Garrett, Good! Mitch Trubisky, Argh!

I could make an argument for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Tennessee Titans, purveyors of third-year franchise QBs in whose futures I basically believe (more on them shortly). Tampa signs DeSean Jackson and drafts O.J. Howard. Tennessee drafts Corey Davis and signs Johnathan Cyprien and Logan Ryan. If I squint, maybe I can see Cinderella?

But I think my answer has to be Houston. The Texans already had a ready-to-contend roster, J.J. Watt presumably returning from being America's foremost lumberjack, and membership in the AFC South going for them. And now they have Deshaun Watson, who probably isn't Dak Prescott, because that story was insane, but offers a higher ceiling than anyone else the Texans might've trundled out under center. I'm not picking the Texans as Super Bowl LII champs, but I think their bold move up to grab Watson in the first round of last week's draft gives a mature Houston roster a puncher's chance in '17 and gives Browns fans yet another potential milestone. "We passed on him twice? Hand me the arsenic."

Memo to Houston: things could get interesting. Photo by Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Michael G.: How do you analyze the Vikings backfield with Dalvin Cook, a second-round draftee, and Latavius Murray, a free-agent signee?

That Cook lasted until the 41st pick is one of the sneaky shockers of the 2017 draft. Before the combine, Cook was a consensus top-15 pick in any mock draft you cared to read.

(Incidentally: stop reading mock drafts! They are useless click-bait completely unworthy of the valuable time you'd otherwise spend cleaning your toes or finding health care. The reason NFL writers arrive at a "consensus" mock draft every year is that everyone reads everyone else's mock drafts! People would stop writing them—especially in fucking February—if you'd stop looking at them. They are the Transformers of sports articles.)

Then NFL teams started paying attention to Cook's off-field misbehavior—breaking a car window with a BB gun, chaining up puppies in a harmful way, hanging out with friends who were investigated for brandishing firearms at a neighbor, and, most significantly, being charged with assault for allegedly striking a woman outside a Tallahassee bar, though a jury found him not guilty. Teams also started nitpicking his medicals and his disappointing combine quickness, and suddenly he wasn't even a top-40 draftee.

But when a running back is as impressive at a huge football school as Cook was at Florida State, I tend to trust the tape. He was a monster. We can't know what kind of person he is; we can't know if he's Montee Ball ready to squander his talent. But if his head is right, Cook's a future NFL star.

Murray should be fun to watch. Photo by Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

As for Latavius Murray? He's a 6'3" 230-pounder with power and great long speed, he's only 27, and he's coming off a 12-touchdown season. I'd call him an above-average player. He can be the lead dog for a good pro rushing attack, and he'll probably top the Vikings in TDs. He's not a change-of-direction and acceleration menace like Cook. Give these guys a good offensive line (Minnesota's blocking was disastrous in '16) and they'll make a fun tandem.

Brian W.: What movies from the 2010s will be thought of the same way we think of Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, and Citizen Kane? My bets are La La Land, The Social Network, Zero Dark Thirty, and Her.

Can we stop with La La Land? It's pretty, well-acted pablum. It's fine, but it's nostalgia made manifest, and as such is subversively retrograde. The Artist won Best Picture on the wings of similar thirsting for the "simpler time" that never actually existed. In 50 years, they'll be begging you to accept a surplus neural implant of La La Land with every dose of zombie spray. The Social Network is "important" and a good character study, but is it a good movie? Is there actual tension? Zero Dark Thirty and Her are surpassingly excellent films, but if I wanted to choose a surpassingly excellent film that was illustrative of our era, I'd choose The Lobster.

But that's not what our era will be remembered for.

We live in the Era of Stupid, and I have a hard time imagining our culture getting surpassingly smarter in some speculative evaluating future. We'll probably be way dumber. So without doubt, our descendants will turn their lonely eyes to the 2010s and remember fondly the innocent days when something as deep and heartfelt as The F8 Of The Furious roamed the planet.

Rich L.: I don't know why you're so down on what you call "soft-focus" NFL features. OK, so we're never gonna really know who these athletes are. Big deal. I like feeling a connection to athletes, even if it's inherently one-sided. Does that make me a sucker or something?

Yes.

When you're a child, looking up to Steph Curry or Tom Brady is fine. Your brains are mush. You're trying to become a person. You're dumb. Part of the responsibility of growing up and becoming a functioning member of society is shrugging off childish things. It would be lovely to be able to understand and believe in very wealthy people we don't know, and I know my continued insistence that we don't and can't and shouldn't try makes me sound like a cynic.

But goddammit, times are too fucking serious to play this game anymore. It makes us sleepy. We start assuming these players and managers and owners (and celebrities and politicians and football columnists) are good people with decent things in their hearts, and soon they're bilking us for stadium money and covering up institutional rape cultures and inspiring the mental gymnastics that allow us to attack victims so as not to question our fandoms.

I love sports, but our fandoms should be questioned. Is every wealthy athlete a terrible person? Of course not, but you don't know who is and isn't, and any personal connection you feel for their lifestyles or their romantic entanglements or their Guitar-Hero-playing pre-draft antics is akin to that scam where you "buy a star" in the night sky. You're free to do as you choose, admire whom you like, toss your money into a trashcan and light it on fire, but in the end you're projecting a lot of emotional energy billions of light years out into the universe, and it ain't coming back your way.

OK but we like Marcus Mariota. Photo by Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

Nick B.: What's Marcus Mariota's ceiling this year and in the future?

I really like Mariota's tape. He and Winston will forever be linked by the '15 draft, but so far they're not particularly alike as players. I call Winston the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man, because he's improvisational almost to a fault, which leads to unexpected brilliance but also bouts of head-clutching madness. I like Winston as a player, but someday soon I may love Mariota.

He's got touch, he's got plenty of wing, he squeezed passes into some ludicrous windows, and most importantly he's under control. Of course, he did this last year in the context of a powerful rush offense and without the same workload Winston bore in Tampa (Winston averaged 5.5 passes per game more than Mariota, and led the league in air yards per attempt). We'll see if the addition of rookie receivers Corey Davis and Taywan Taylor opens up the Titans offense. I'm hopeful.

John C.: Should I move out of the USA?

I assume you're talking about Mango Mussolini's continued assault on the most vulnerable members of our society, but my answer is: probably not. Or not yet. I know every day the U.S. starts to feel a little more like Gilead, but every place has its problems, right? White nationalism isn't just an "us" problem. I say stay and be decent to everybody you meet; serve as an example, as thankless as that often feels. And anyway, where are you going to go? Canada? It's fucking cold there and they eat moose heart.

Sean M.: Does pineapple belong on pizza?

More than moose heart does.

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Marcus Mariota Has A Brighter Future Than "La La Land": The NFL Underground Mailbag published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv