#the main one was just voiceacting but i think ive been talking a lot about it

[elegyofthemoon]

i know that i applied for the leave of absence from my school a long while ago but,,, today i officially sent an email saying that i'm actually withdrawing now

i'm really glad i did wind up taking that time away from the school to figure myself out. it gave me a lot of time to reassess and get back in tune with myself and what i truly want rather than do things out of obligation towards others

even if i am a little exhausted that technically now i'm striving towards two dreams and working towards both at the same time, it's still nice to be like 'oh this is way more like me!' and feel at least a little happier with it :>

so! i'm much happier now at least. and at least for one of those dreams i can see so much progress for someone who only started to pick it back up in may. i'm really excited to share more of it but for now it's just the waiting game :]

[tumblunni]

BLANK IS SO COOL WE STAN ONE MAN IN THIS TRASH GAME DAMMIT!!! I missed all the optional stuff on the abridged critical lp i watched so im going thru this complete text and screenshots thing now. i dunno why ive become so weirdly attatched to the poor characters trapped in such a shitty fanservice game!!

but man you never learn ANYTHING about Blank in the main game he’s just a plot device to invent new stuff and then dies shortly after being traumatized by a dude committing suicide and then never even appears again for the other 50% of the game and his only noteable plot contribution is being one of the few teammates who werent secretly evil aliens aka HIM BEING GOOD EQUALS BEING NOT IN THE DAMN GAME

and seriously his backstory would be super cool even if i didnt have my weird moment of unintended trans relateability! a dude who was such a science prodigy as a kid that he got noticed by the government and forced into a life of servitude in this dangerous supernatural bullshit organization in exchange for his freedom from prison. And I know the game is trying to make it seem like he’s a criminal and he deserved it cos he did the something or other hacking thing for No Reason Except Fun. But all he did was delete his own birth certificate?? even if you’re not like me and going “yo thats a big trans feel” at best its a dumb kid using his smart skills for a stupid prank and getting punished way beyond what that would warrant. a fuckin LIFETIME in this gilded cage, from childhood to adulthood, fighting fuckin terrifying space aliens. and its very obvious they just used this as an excuse to “acquire” him since his prodigy level intelligence was considered “necessary at all costs”, even if he hadnt committed a goddamn minor misdemeanor prank on their system he probably never would have seen daylight again..

and he just seems so nice and goofy?? and he says about how he doesn’t know how he’d be able to adjust to life after you save the world cos he barely remembers it. and how he’s happy to be living in this hell world because “at least i can work on these cool machines” and maybe its supposed to make him sound immature and evil but it just reminds me that he’s been locked up here long before the alien shit started happening and he’s probably been forced to do a lot of even worse shit in the decade (or two?) that he’s been trapped in a goddamn basement. and i mean he says he’s grateful for you and likes talking to you!!! and he does this overexaggerated “im so dissappointed” pantomime action when he thinks about how he’ll be “useless” to his bosses when the world is finished getting svaed. and seriously all his “immature” voiceacting and comic relief stuff just makes me feel even more sorry for this dude that he’s been trapped here so long and missed out on the entire experience a normal childhood...

HE SHOULD BE EVE’S NEW ADOPTIVE DAD BECAUSE THEY HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON OKAY!!! also he’s just the only character i dont hate so far!!

HE MADE A SUPER UPGRADED MINI FRIDGE FOR ALL OF HIS FREMDS AAAAAAA srsly the second line of flavor text is about how he’s always all performative “this is my secret weapon dont touch” but then he lets everyone keep their lunch there anyway and the boss also lies about being mad that people are eating in the lab but keeps his beer in there. I WISH THE WHOLE GAME COULD JUST BE EVERYONE BEING SCIENCE FAMILY aaa why does half of the team turn out to be evil and the other half die and ALL THE INTERESTING ONES ARE THE EVILS EXCEPT FOR BLANK

hell i think in an au where blank was the one to get shot up with alien juice in ye olde catastrophe, he still wouldnt be a villain. shitty mc bossman: uwu somehow i am a superior being now, time to take over a world~ blank: *probably just beats up his goddamn slavedrivers with his neat new alien powers and runs off to work at a gamestop or something* *plays a shitty preowned psp and cries about how technology has advanced since he was a kid*

SERIOUSLY HOW DID THE GAME JUST DO NOTHING WITH THIS SYMPATHETIC BACKSTORY!!!! also who in the fuck hacks the pentagon to erase their name as “just a prank bro” seriously I am right that this gives me trans wish fullfillment vibes right???

in summary