#the main issue is that ppl think the conversation is about moralizing the existence of prejudice/discrimination/classism in fantasy

[fondcrimes]

idk anything about fantasy games but I keep running into comments and posts online that r essentially like “fantasy racism is completely different to irl racism because [insert mechanism or trait that is essential to perpetuating irl racism]”

[mbti-notes]

I'm an INTJ having a crush on an INFJ. Do you have any tips how to use my dominant Ni sharing on how to know her more/ at least be friends w her? She has a reputation amongst ppl that It's hard to know how she feels truly & what she says/ expresses doesn't necessarily express how she actually feels. Tbh, we've been "friends" for many years, but I don't even know If she actually sees me as her friend bc I heard that she struggles at trusting ppl. Thank you.

When you want to get to know someone, a tried-and-true method is to look for commonalities to bond over. It is especially important to FJs(Fe) to feel as though the both of you are on the same page emotionally and in agreement regarding important (moral) beliefs and values.

One good thing about FJs to keep in mind is they tend to be very forgiving as long as you can provide them a genuine, authentic, and humble explanation of yourself. If you help them see the situation accurately from your point of view, they'll be more willing to overlook any faults and flaws. This means you always have to be transparent and expressive enough to let them know what's really going on with you. If you leave them to guess too much, they're likely to jump to unfavorable conclusions in the absence of facts. There is a limit as to whether they can accept repeated mistakes though, because they tend to view those as lack of care and effort. I mention this point because INTJs tend to falter in relationships due to being too inexpressive or uncommunicative.

The best way to discover commonalities is through communication, so create opportunities to have substantive talks. INFJs will generally see you as a friend once they enjoy talking to you and look forward to talking to you, otherwise, you are just a person who exists like everyone else. As you probably know, Ni doms don't tend to enjoy small talk, so it's best to get to the main point and dig in to the meat of things as soon as is socially acceptable. INFJs are usually looking for meaningful conversation about topics of existential/societal/future importance. They usually like to hear new ideas that spark their creativity or broaden their perspective. They usually want someone to take an interest in what they are thinking, what they believe, and what they value... but on their terms, i.e., in ways that are respectful of personal boundaries. It might help to keep conversations abstract (non-personal) at the start because it gives you a chance to gauge their interest level and it gives them a way to gradually ease into deeper territory.

INFJs with trust issues might not be very forthcoming, so don't push them too hard when they block your advances, or else they might clam up completely. It's very important to be nonjudgmental and empathetic in order to create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically (since they fear rejection and betrayal). Be clear about your purpose/intention or else they might start to get suspicious of you. If you ever get the feeling that they are using a fake persona around you, it means they don't trust you and you have to do more to reassure them that your intentions are pure and you are a safe person to interact with. If at any point they feel as though you just can't understand them or you have been dismissive/judgmental of them, they'll start to believe talking to you isn't worthwhile and your chances of success will quickly drop to nil.

No matter the type, trust issues are a big relationship barrier. It is best to approach guarded people slowly, sensitively, patiently, and confidently. E.g.: You have to be the one to take the lead and initiate contact because they are too afraid to. You have to be the one to open up and ask more questions to keep conversations going because they are too self-involved to participate fully. You have to be the accommodating and understanding one because they cannot open up to you otherwise. You have to be the one to apologize first for relationship missteps because their social skills are too poor to handle conflict reasonably.

It doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it can be a very worthwhile and fulfilling process to help someone open up to love. That said, don't always put yourself in an unequal position of giving much more than you're getting in return. Give people plenty of chances to open up, but they have to eventually meet you halfway. When there's no willingness to meet you halfway, you might have to admit defeat and treat it as a lost cause. Remember, relationships can get very messy very quickly, so it's best to accept the fact and try to go with the flow. Venture out there, see what happens, and learn as you go. As long as you always try to act with integrity, you'll have nothing to regret.

[tenitchyfingers]

brief list of truths

drawings are not and cannot be considered pedophilia either going by the law or the dictionary definition, your arguments about how “but they might give pedophiles ideas and they’re used to groom kids” or whatever the fuck are all bullshit and a talking point directly stolen from conservatives from every decade, literally. So if you say shit like that you’re no different from conservatives who accused metal music and metal fans of being murderous criminals for just listening to a genre of music. Also you’re literally doing the same thing as the homophobes who’ve been accusing gay ppl of homophobia since literally the dawn of time, so at least don’t go “don’t compare me to theeeem” when your talking points are exactly the same. All your arguments were also debunked dozens of times because we’ve been over this shit for decades, it’s been studied and everyone with competences in the field said that fiction doesn’t impact reality in the way you say it does so kindly shut up and read a book

If you say your priority is protecting children but then stay silent when real life child predators are outed, then you’re full of shit and you never gave a fuck about the safety of REAL children in the REAL world going through REAL trauma. Just say you don’t like someone’s ship and move on

if similarly you say your priority is protecting children but then push an 8 year old to discuss sexual assault and send minors sexual harassment... like, pal, you might actually be the main problem here

if you have triggers, just avoid the thing that triggers you, it’s literally that simple

ace exclusionists, TERFs and biphobes are all the same brand of radfem Lite™ bullshit and by the way, trans TERFs exist because i have literally argued against them 

aces and aros are oppressed under a system that values sex and romance as the only things that make you human, a system that will absolutely force you to conform to amatonormativity and heterocissexism, a system that sees us as fundamentally broken, a system that forces us into conversion therapy, a system that justifies raping us as a form of “fixing” us even though there’s nothing broken with us, a system that pushes us into depression more than straight and gay people (and almost as much as bi people)

go suck on dick cheese if u still think we aren’t oppressed, and also maybe have a conversation with someone from Indian Aces and hear about their stories. Could be good for your utterly cringeworthy America-centrism

LGBTPN was made up by exclusionists like last year specifically to exclude aros and aces aka it’s invalid and if you use it you should be ashamed of yourself and also fuck you

queer is not a slut anymore and even if it was then gay and lesbian would be unusable slurs anymore because guess what? Pretty much every term associated with LGBT+ people was a slur at one point or another, get over it and stop using radfem arguments

ace exclusionism is literally the last of the things you should be worried about given how there are real issues in this community and real issues in the world we live in. “But you can care about 2 things at the same time”? Hmmm, and yet you never do. 

being an asshole and then deflecting criticism with “but you/they aren’t oppressed” doesn’t make you any less of an asshole and being an asshole is bad and you should stop being a piece of shit. Also, you don’t know anything about people’s experiences and what they had to go through. You either listen to them one by one and realize oppression doesn’t work the way you think it does, or you shut the fuck up because oppression is not simple and you cannot simplify any discussion about it

if you go around harassing people (and even worse if you send them death threats and get them fired over an opinion) you’re the bad guy, not them. By default. So you have no moral ground whatsoever. You either argue in a civilized matter, or step aside and let the adults handle things since you clearly fucking cant

nobody owes you dick. Nobody owes you pride designs, or attention, or gifts, or whatever. So instead than yelling at someone for not having time or spoons to do something, just fucking ask politely and be fucking nice. your mom must’ve taught you manners, so fucking use them

pineapple doesn’t go on pizza and if you eat pineapple on it then call it something else. like “ketchup turd” or whatever

i’m gonna swear however the fuck i want and i don’t give a flying goddamn dick with wings if you have a problem with that. Suck me