#the main construction is done now but there’s still a bit going on

[whitehartlane]

it’s genuinely going to be kind of funny when football fans from other countries come to munich for some of the euros and they’ve got to figure out sendlinger tor 😭

[evolnoomym]

Washing Machine Heart 🩶

Mom’s Best-friend!Joel Miller x f!reader

Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: Your Mom is not nice to you, her only Daughter, always picking on you whenever she can. To get back at her you decide to seduce and fuck her Highschool Best-friend Joel Miller. Oh she also has a crush on him so that’s a bonus.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: no use of y/n, female reader, implied abuse, childhood trauma, alcohol, smut, reader has no name only nicknames, size difference, age gap, readers age is mentioned and Joel is more than double sooo, mommy issues, strained relationships, petty shit, cream pie, tittys, choking kind of, teasing, Joel is tiny bit Pervy, of course Daddy kink, unprotected p in v,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: I was mad so this is what I cooked up lol

Shoutout to @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is my first time writing smut sooooo be nice please. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. 🖤

Song’s I listened to while writing:

I Hate My Mom by GRLwood

Class of 2013 by Mitski

I hope ur miserable until ur dead by Nessa Barrett

Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA

Backstabber by Kesha

Jerk by Oliver Tree

You know exactly when the relationship between you and your mother started deteriorating- The day she decided to choose your loser Stepdad, the one she only dated for 4 years, over her own 8 year old daughter. From then on you took a backseat in her life yet she still expected you to take care of her all needs. You hate her for what she did and you miss her like a little kid. You had to drag her home when she drank too much, you can’t even remember how often that happened. Always having to jump in between that asshole and her fighting cuz even though she practically emotionally abandoned you, you still wanted to protect her from harm's way. She forced you to grow up so quickly, it’s her fault you never got a real childhood.

For years you accepted that this is normal. The screaming, the violence and the degrading words became a part of growing up. You were a kid but not clueless, someone who loves you wouldn’t have done all of this. And yet all of them tried so hard to make you shut up and believe it’s what you deserved.

Luckily what happened did not entirely break you. No, you grew into someone who fought for herself since no one ever did that.

Of course you hoped she might realize her mistakes, apologize and change but nothings new with her. She’s great at pretending to be a better person to the outside world, than she is in reality, behind closed doors the mask unveils an ugly woman. A narcissistic self absorbed monster that took all your joy away.

It’s pathetic considering how much she always talks about getting abused by her own father but instead of breaking the cycle she doubled down on it. Going as far as using that as an excuse for what she did to her own child.

She only kinda stopped the abuse once you no longer were a small child. Now that you could fight back she did not corner you anymore.

But just because she couldn’t hit you anymore doesn’t mean the picking on you stopped, no, it was her mission to rid you of the last remaining confidence and self love.

In each screaming match she tried so hard to gaslight you into believing you were crazy for feeling offended by her disgusting behavior.

One time you asked why she hit you as a little kid and the answer left you completely blown away. She expressed that you cried so much, and did it to provoke her. What else could she have possibly done other than raise her hand?

Or another time she refused to acknowledge that she hit you at all but a second later told you that perhaps if she would’ve done worse you would’ve turned out better.

At some point you stopped calling her Mom and only went with her name. You knew that it must hurt but did she really deserve that title after everything she did?

Now at 21 years old the relationship is just as rocky, not much has changed.

Your mom has basically zero friends, she’s a bitch of course no one would want to be too close, well except for Joel…..Joel Miller that somehow was her friend.

Perhaps only since they have known each other since High School, he might have felt some kind of obligation towards her due to that. She told you once that Joel was the boy every girl had a crush on with his whole guitar playing thing they all swooned over him.

Even now all those years later Joel was a beautiful specimen, tall, broad shoulders, huge hands, strong arms you’d like to be enveloped by, tanned freckled skin, a cute butt, gorgeous brown curls with slightly gray streaks showing his age, big brown eyes, a prominent nose and soft pillow like lips.

You understand why your Mom had a crush on him, any woman would bend over for him if he’d say so. She thought it was not too noticeable but unlike Joel you caught it immediately.

She made you the reason for her life being so shitty but now after years of torment you saw a chance at really giving her a reason to hate you. Maybe something is wrong with you for liking the idea of breaking her heart so much but you honestly couldn’t care less. The one you felt sorry for most was probably Joel; he would be the pawn in your deranged game without knowing.

As it turns out though Joel is not as innocent as expected, the more you tried to get closer the more you realized he might be easier to seduce than originally anticipated.

You started with small things like hugging him a bit longer than normally so he could feel you perky full tits squished against his chest. Touching his arms and squeezing them but not too much as if to draw attention to it. And from his reactions, he did not seem to mind.

You were not worried about your mother, she never was the most alert to begin with.

When Joel came over for a barbecue you used the time alone with him in the garden while your mother was in the kitchen preparing god knows what to impress him.

Joel and you had some interesting conversations.

���Soooo you work in contracting, right?” You asked him sweetly. Joel chuckled “Yeah sweetheart, I do. But ya know tha’ already, so why ask?” You played it off as much as you could “Just making sure you didn't decide to switch career paths in the time I haven’t seen you…” you look up at him through your lashes, cheekily biting your lip. Joel of course fell into the trap, his eyes going down to your plush lips in mere seconds. Got ya you dirty old men.

You stepped closer until you two were only a couple inches apart. His chest almost touched yours. In this position you really had to Crane your neck up to keep eye contact consistent.

“What are ya doing Baby,huh?” Joel tilted his head slightly down towards your face. You just giggled at him “Nothin Joel, just…” with that you put your hands on his wide chest ruining them down over his enticing slightly protruding belly. “I know you stare at my ass alllllll the time. I also know you like it when I walk close by you and graze you with my tits. My little skimpy outfits turn you on as well don’t they,huh Joel?” You smirk at him.

You can see how he clenches his jaw…ohhh yes you got him figured out.

He hisses low and menacing at you “You are a little slut ain’t ya, baby. Groping a man over double your age. Teasin me with those sugar tits and that tight lil ass….”

You can see his pupils dilate till his eyes look close to being completely blacked out. You muse “Yeah I’m a whore but you like that don’t you?” With that you cup his hard cock over his shorts he decided to wear today.

He gasps and immediately grips your wrist to yank those devilish hands away from his throbbing length. Especially when he hears your mother’s voice calling out from inside the house.

He backs off and tries to catch his breath as well as calm his raging hard on down to an unnoticeable minimum. Before he leaves to figure out what she called for he turns to you and lifts an accusing finger towards you.

“We ain’t done baby, ya gonna make it up to me for teasin and leavin me all high and dry, mkay?” He tilts his head almost to intimidate you but to no avail you’re just a massive brat “Hmmm sure Joeliii but i think your underwear is anything but dry.” You giggle and continue “Probably full of pre cum am I right,huh?”

Joel can’t believe what he’s gotten himself into and just shakes his head while turning to the house.

Somehow he made it through the barbecue without your mother noticing any tension between Joel and you. Stupid of her but good for you.

In the weeks after that afternoon you and him kept secretly meeting up. Most of the time at his house or he’d pick you up with his truck to drive you somewhere where he could have you without any distractions, of course when your mom wasn’t home. She might be stupid but even to her it would be weird why you suddenly start taking trips with Joel and she should not be suspicious.

Also during the talks with Joel that happened when taking a break between fucking it was once again made clear that he for whatever reason had not an ounce of knowledge about your mom’s crush.

The plan for how the reveal should go was set in motion. Your mom was driving out to one of those weird grocery stores that sold the health powders she drowned herself in, in hopes of making her more pretty from the inside out but to no avail the rot can’t be reversed.

You knew how long that would take her, it gave you enough time to fuck Joel in her favorite spot on the couch. Yeah petty and perhaps childish but you don’t care make her remember how you defiled her lovely couch with the man she was in love with.

Joel showed up 10 minutes after she drove off. You barely got the door closed behind him before he pounced on you. It’s been a few weeks since you fucked him last, you wanted him to be desperate for it so he’ll might be more focused on pounding you then notice that your mother is returning.

He immediately slotted his lips over yours, his hands grabbing at your hips with urgency.

You spin with him attached to your lips so you can guide him where you want him, on the couch. His breathing is already elevated and by the significantly evident bulge he’s massively turned on. Good, the less rational thinking the better.

While you push him towards the couch his lips slip down your jaw and land on your throat kissing and sucking all over. Between those kisses he huffs “Babyyy - I’ve - missed - ya so - much…” you just hum as an answer and when the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch he’s forced to unlatch from you.

He falls back, his head hitting the soft pillows so he’s only slightly elevated. You wink at him “yeah I bet you have and most of all He has missed me huh? Looks almost painful, did you not touch yourself in meantime?”

He sounds a bit whiny in his response “No Baby haven’t touched myself, saved it all for ya greedy little pussy.” Even when you think to have the upper hand he reminds you how different it actually is. “Come on baby, why don’t ya take of that lil skirt an’ take seat on my lap.” While grabbing at his crotch.

Your mouth is watering but there’s no time today to get your mouth on him like you usually love to. At his dirty words you can feel some wetness gush from your pulsing cunt, coating the inside of your thighs. As requested you slip your flowy skirt down your legs.

Joel let's out a gasp „No panties baby? Ya naughty little slut.“ he chuckles and you retort „Don’t need them if I’m with you, so why make it harder than it needs to be?“ at that Joel can only nod.

„Come here Sweet Moon Love.“ he demands.

You get on your hands and knees between his spread legs that lay on the couch. Slowly crawling towards him teasing him with your tits that are almost spilling out of your skimpy tank top.

When you finally sit down on his jeans-covered cock he lets out a sound of relief. Your knees on either side of his hips and his hands immediately find home on your hips and ass, kneading and caressing the skin there.

„Fuck Moon ya turn me on so much take of that goddamn top and show me those sweet sugar tits.“

So you do, slipping it over your head and throwing it somewhere behind you. He’s not surprised by the lack of a bra. He knows you hate wearing them and if he’s honest he loves that a lot, easier access and all.

Joel’s hands go from your hips up to the tits he loves so much. Carefully touching them, his warm hands and the wonderful feeling making it unable not to moan. Swiping his calloused fingers over your nipples, twisting them with determination causing you to keen.

You start arching your back towards his groping hands. His administrations cause the pull in your lower stomach to Continuously get stronger. You are convinced his jeans are covered in your juices and without realizing you’ve started to rub your bare pussy over his bulge with vigor.

„Joel enough I need you inside me, now!“ You don’t even wait for a response, lifting your hips and loosening his belt and unbuttoning the buttons of his jeans. With his help you drag his pants down but only so much that you are able to pull his throbbing cock out of the confines that are his blue boxers and you can see a huge dark spot where pre cum leaked, making you look at Joel chuckling „You really want it huh? Daddy” with a sweet lilt that makes his dick Twitch in your hands.

He just groans “Baby Moon if ya don’t sit down on my cock right now I’ll do it myself and I won’t give ya time to adjust.” He threatens but it really only turns you on more.

You peer up at the clock and see that you only have about 15 minutes left.

You take your original position and when his warm length slips through your moist folds his pre cum mixing with your own juices to create an addicting squelching sound.

At this point the dark hair nestling at the base of his cock and his happy trail are completely soaked.

“Gosh, Sweetheart she’s gushing all over me, put it in. She wants my cock don’t keep her waitin” you love when he talks in this way about your cunt, makes you wetter if that’s even possible.

You lift up a bit again and take hold of his length with one hand, the other on his chest to stabilize yourself. Dragging his leaking head through your glossy folds before lining him up with your gushing opening. You take one deep inhale cuz you know it’ll be a stretch even with how often you've done this.

Before sinking down on him you look at him there’s guilt somewhere deep in your conscience but you shake your head, you ain’t backing out now.

You slowly start to sink down when Joel decides it’s not quick enough so he grips your hips and in one swift fast motion sheets his huge dick inside your tight cunt.

“Ahhh..-ah J-Joel what the fuck” you hiss slapping his chest hard for being so impatient.

He huffs “Sorry Baby but Daddy has waited long enough for Her, just shush.” He actually has the audacity to shush you.

You get used to the feeling of being so filled to the brim and slide back & forth for a moment.

Then you put your feet down flat on the couch and grip the headrest behind him before starting to fuck him in earnest. Up and down at first slowly but steadily you get quicker and harder. Joel can’t even speak unless you count his obnoxiously loud moaning and growling.

“Yeah how you like that old man, hmm Daddy you're all quiet this pussy shut you up good, huh?” You wonder and out of nowhere one of Joel’s big hands grips your throat making you slow your movements to a minimum. He pulls your face toward his and grunts “Baby Moon ya need to be put in your place, ya bratty ass is treading on some mighty thin ice.”

He gives you one hard peck and then shoves your face in his neck. You don’t complain, you love when he’s so rough with you and his musky masculine smell is your favorite.

Joel pulls his legs up and plants his feet on the couch just like you did and then he starts to relentlessly push up into you at an alarming speed so hard that if it weren’t for the arm pinning you to his chest you’d fall off.

“Jo-Joel….Joel it’s so good ah…don’t stop” you babble in his ear and opposite to his harsh pounding he soothes “Shhh Baby I know, I know it’s so much for ya and Her. But listen to how much she’s enjoying it.”

And he’s right besides the obscene “plap, plap, plap” of skin hitting skin you can hear the wet squelching from the place you're both connected. “I’m close baby, where?” He asks while slipping a hand between your bodies to touch your neglected clit and immediately your whiny moans get even louder “I-in…inside Daddy. Pleaseee cum inside me.”

You beg and he loves that “Hmm yeah, ya wanna be filled up Baby?” He questions “God yes Daddy fill me up, please pleasee” you want nothing more than to feel him spill inside of you.

Seems that when Joel told you he was kinda deaf in his right ear it wasn’t a lie or maybe the plan of making him so desperate to fuck you that he won’t hear the door unlocking worked out.

But you can hear the slight clicking and the closing of the door. Unlike what you expect she does not start screaming, no, she’s eerily quiet. Perhaps it’s due to not having realized who exactly you're screwing as if there’s no tomorrow or simple shock.

Joel under you seems to have reached his end and without any preamble he starts shooting his warm cum deep inside your tight hole. The warm sensation combined with his unrelenting rubbing your clit pushes you over the finish line too. With that you pull up from his neck and drag him up as well, crossing your arms around his neck and kissing him.

You know she is right there at the threshold, you don’t care and to rub it in even more you say “Thank you Daddy, I love you.” And as if he knows his role Joel answers “I love you too little Moon.”

And that might have been the final straw, she speaks up and it flips out into incoherent screaming. Joel is immediately startled; he lightly pushes you off, quickly tugging himself back into his jeans and getting up to explain. You however get up slowly and put your top and skirt back on.

With the lack of panties you can feel his spend leaking out of you and you’re sure there’s very evident stains on Joel’s jeans that your mother must see.

The back and forth they must be having doesn’t even register to you. The blissful buzzing from the orgasm and the satisfaction of having succeeded in hurting her are making you all dozzy.

But then she comes charging at you screaming in your face “You’re smiling, you think this is funny??? I knew you were a bitch who only ruins everything, you are a worthless piece of shit a absolute waste of space” she’s so hysterical but you don’t care, it’s good she’s showing her true colors for Joel to see.

She continues “You are disgraceful and shameful for the entire family. I want you out of the house now. You are dead to me.” She probably thinks those words could hurt but it’s nothing compared to all the horrible things she did in the past. You just smirk at her nodding which infuriates her more than any comeback could.

With that you slip past her, Joel looks completely stunned by what just unfolded before his eyes. You don’t acknowledge him much, quickly skipping up the stairs,entering your room, grabbing a suitcase and filling it with the most important items. Then shuffling out of your room locking it behind you. You heave the suitcase down the stairs, no sign of Joel all you can hear is her crying in the living room, it amuses you, not an ounce of sympathy left for her. You don’t bother saying bye just open the front door and out you are.

The surprise is waiting in front of the house, Joel, he didn’t leave but instead waited for you.

He looks at you “Did it mean anything to you at all, or was it just a big joke?” He doesn’t look hurt, just confused. You close the distance between him and you “I wish it wouldn’t but it’s not possible to not feel anything, look at you Joel you’re a so beautiful so caring of course I fell for you.” He nods and takes your suitcase out of your hand. “Wh..what are you doing ?” You question “I’m taking ya home Moon, think I’d let you run around these streets? Get in the car” he urges.

And you do, when he drives off you don’t look back once.

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @sizzlingcloudmentality @the-mandawhor1an @clawdee @penvisions 🩶

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 13: Taking Out The Trash

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you neve expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy

Word Count: 13.1K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Blood, GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF DEATH, DEATH, BLOOD, GUTS, Threatening, Denial, Attempted Manipulation, References to attempted SA in the past, Depressing Thoughts, INSANE REVELATIONS, CONFESSIONS, Talks about weed, Super Manipulative Creepy Trash Man, Sexist comments, Homophobic Comments? Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

A/N: I'm not going to lie, at the beginning of this chapter it's cute, but the rest of it gets... UNHINGED. I mean its dark because some things are revealed that I don't know why my mind went there immediately but... Also, apparently foreshadowing with dreams is my thing now 🤷🏻‍♀️?

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

"Are you sure that you're okay to start work today?" Jake asked you for the millionth time from across the large cherry wood table that proudly stood in the front window of the shop. "Because there's no shame in staying home and resting for a few more days."

He was holding a large box filled with golden barrel cactus that were about to be placed in the new window display that Jake and you were constructing. His dirty blonde hair was scruffier today, hanging into his face just over the top of his tortoise shell glasses. The red and navy flannel he wore stretched over his arms with the flexing of his muscles beneath as he watched you with interest, worry seeping into the clear blue of his eyes.

The store was as you remembered, almost blindingly green, with trailing vines that kissed your arms when you walked through the front door as if welcoming you home and the healing energy from the plants within fusing your body with newfound strength. You could feel the subtle push of roots in the earth, the unfurling of bright leaves,  the swell of fruit on outstretched branches, and the gentle bend of each petal on the vegetation inside the shop speaking to you and reassuring you. It was welcome after being trapped in a freezer for four days.

Jake didn't know about any of that.

Annie had come up with a lie that you'd been in a car accident when Butcher loaned you his car for a job. It hurt you to lie to Jake, especially when he had brought all the plants to your hospital room because he knew it would make you feel better, but you were still trying to keep that part of your life separate from him. Honestly, you worried that if Jake found out how fucked up the other half of your life was he'd fire you, so you didn't bring it hurtling in through the front of his shop like a freight train. And you really loved working here.

It felt natural for you, tending to the plants, helping teach other people how to for anything that grew while gently showing the love of gardening and tending the earth.

Jake had been pondering the idea of having workshops on the weekend at the shop after hours and he'd finally said yes.

Hopefully, I'd be able to use both of my arms by then. 

You were beyond discouraged that hadn't been able to do any of your crochet projects and you felt like a disappointment when you couldn't go to your bi-monthly crochet circle/class that you lead at the Assisted Living Facility a few blocks over. The woman on the phone from the facility had sounded so disappointed when you told her that you couldn't come and it only made you feel worse.

But it was nice to be back in the swing of things at the shop and wonderful to be back in a place that you felt at ease, but there was something tugging in your chest. It was an odd feeling, not as if you'd forgotten something, but almost as if you missed something. As if there was something that wasn't here that should be and you couldn’t put your finger on it.

A week had passed since you'd been released from the hospital and you were eager to get out from under Ben's house arrest to start working again even with your arm in a large and almost impossible cast to maneuver. You were calling it “house arrest”, because after your grandmother left, Ben refused to let you leave the apartment, stating that you needed to rest. And when you argued with him that you'd had enough rest, he'd planted himself in front of the door and refused to budge.

You were going stir crazy with nothing to do and you probably could have moved him if you really tried, but you didn't want to fight with Ben. Not when he was the person who'd brought you back from the warehouse and not when he was acting different.

Your lips press into a firm line when you think about the past week that you'd spent at home with him. Ben was going out of his way to do everything for you that he could, but that didn't mean you weren't annoyed. You'd had to practically swat him away with one of the wooden spoons in the kitchen when you were heating up a lasagna your grandmother left after he'd loudly complained that you shouldn't be standing for too long and tried to carry you back to the couch. Ben was acting like you couldn’t take care of yourself and hadn't been taking care of yourself since you moved away from home. It was odd.

And he kept doing little things around the apartment, like picking up his clothes and making sure to remember to put things in the dishwasher. Things that he hadn’t cared about before you got hurt and things that you’d yelled at him to do before everything happened. And he always made sure that the couch was clear incase you wanted to watch a movie or just read for a little while. Two things that you had been doing more often since you got out of the hospital.

But weirder still was that Ben hadn't been on one "date," since you got back. The only time he'd left the apartment was in the morning to get the paper and he always brought you back coffee or the pineapple iced tea you loved.

Yesterday he had finally allowed you to leave the apartment to go to the grocery store, because when you tried to give him a shopping list he'd said "I don’t need a fucking list I’m a man!" but then you’d asked him to repeat everything you'd told him to buy and he couldn’t.

The whole time out of the apartment you’d made plenty of jokes about the healing power of fresh air, while Ben countered by making a joke about the healing power of sex and that he'd be happy to make you feel better.

The trip to the grocery store hadn’t ended in bloodshed, even when you had to keep reminding Ben not to buy the name brand things and he'd ignored you or when Ben complained the whole time about how expensive everything was and how long it was taking you to find everything.

But the weirdest thing that happened was when the two of you were looking a produce there was a woman who kept trying to come on to Ben when you were testing the grapes and he completely ignored her. Surprising you because she looked like his type, and when she'd walked away Ben had dropped to his knees to tie your shoe because he noticed that it was loose.

When you'd teased him about it, he said that he "didn't want you to break your other arm when you tripped and ate shit on the concrete." You'd had no problem flipping him off with your unbroken hand.

But despite your insistences for Ben to try and find cheaper brands none of it mattered, because when you got to the register Ben paid for the groceries even when you’d explicitly discussed splitting the bill. The cashier had noted what a gentleman Ben was and you’d grumbled something impolite under your breath so low that only Ben could hear.

But Ben couldn't help you with everything, well, you didn't trust him to close his eyes when you needed help getting dressed or needed help washing your hair.

For those little things, Annie would come over, but she hadn't been sympathetic to your pleas to make Ben let you out of the apartment. In fact, when you hoped Ben wasn't listening she'd made a comment about exactly what you should be doing with a hot older man while being trapped in an apartment with only one bed. The raspberry vines that cling to the refrigerator had started spitting raspberries at her when she said it. And then Ben had looked over the back of the couch at the two of you and said "that's what I keep telling her."

At least when my grandmother was here she didn’t pry about Ben and me.

Your grandmother had stayed for three days following your return from the hospital, sleeping next to you on your queen sized bed before she went back to Illinois and everyday you were more surprised how much she and Ben knew each other. The easy way they spoke to one another, the jokes, the teasing, and the poker games that always ended in your grandmother winning an almost obscene amount of money from Ben all made your head spin. Especially, because whenever she won Ben would accuse her of "cheating," and she'd only roll her eyes and state that someone as old as Ben should be better at poker. But the way he'd said she was cheating was different, not as if she had cards up her sleeve, but if there was some other reason why she could cheat. It was confusing and a little frustrating, because you were terrible at poker.

You didn't understand how you could be that bad, but then Ben had poked the skin between your eyebrows that scrunched under his scrutiny and stated that you were "too easy to read" while your grandmother laughed at you.

She still wouldn’t answer your questions about how she knew Ben, but to you it appeared to be more than them running into each other a few times, it almost seemed like a friendship. You believed her when she said that they didn’t sleep together, but you didn't understand how they could have been friends. She'd never spoken about that part of her life with you before, just her childhood and when she met your grandfather. Needless to say it was like you were seeing a different person when she was around Ben.

Deep down you wondered if she was a supe, but she'd never said that before and you didn’t know why she would keep something like that from you, not when you were one too.

But when Ben noticed how discouraged you got playing poker, he let you look over his shoulder at his hand and watch him play. He was very much in his element and every few hands he would make a joke about playing strip poker to which your grandmother would reply "If you want to be naked that bad Ben, you might as well just go down to the corner and put it to good use."

When she left you were sad to see her go and even Ben seemed a little more moody than usual, almost as if he missed having her around. You missed her too. While she stayed with you, you hadn't had the nightmare, but the night she left you did. You'd woken up gasping for air, the unnatural flash of whitish blue light that raced towards the windshield from the dream vibrating against your skin. Ben had come in to check on you, without breaking down the door, and he'd sat with you until you calmed down enough to fall asleep.

But it was still unusual that Ben acted like he missed your grandmother. You'd never met any other friends that Ben had besides Legend and you wondered if Ben really was as lonely as you thought he was. In the past you'd ascribed that to the reason why he went out with so many women, but this time it only confused you because Ben hadn't been out with a single person all week. You couldn’t think of a reason why that was or what could have changed for Ben to avoid using Tinder. If anything you'd thought he would be bored sitting around the apartment with you, but he wasn't. He'd sit with you on the couch watching a movie or read the paper when you read your book, not talking about anything in particular.

There was only one subject you wanted to discuss.

The two of you hadn't talked about what almost happened on the couch when you slept together when Darren was visiting or the way Ben gently touched you in the hospital. You'd mentally compartmentalized it to being a fluke and were happy that things were going back to normal or at least normal-ish. 

But sometimes your mind would wander to how Ben acted when you were in the hospital, how he'd cupped and held your face, how he'd touched you so reverently, what he'd said about not wanting to leave you with Elijah, and how angry he looked when he found out exactly what Elijah had tried to do.

But whenever you thought about talking to him about that, you’d only shake off the urge and ascribe it to Ben wanting to try and be friends. The exact thing that you'd suggested to him the night of the party.

He's respecting me. If he wants to be friends I can be friends with him. Even if he is acting weird.

In fact, this morning, he'd walked with you to the shop this morning as if it was a normal day.

*2 Hours Ago*

Ben frowns at you. "Maybe you should rest one more day-"

He'd been saying that the entire walk to the shop, but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him trap you in the apartment for another day.

“Ben it'll be fine. I've rested enough-" You rolled your eyes at him, confused that he was making such a big deal about this. It was both annoying and frustrating you how overprotective he was acting and it was making you mad.

“What about your arm? You can’t lift anything-“ He presses.

“Jake is here for that.” You gestured with your head to where Jake was hovering behind the two of you at the register counting the till while pretending not to listen.

"That makes me feel a hell of a lot better. You think that fucking twink can lift more than me?" Ben scoffs. “Maybe I should stay.”

"Why?"

"So I can lift things!"

“Stop babying me Gramps!"

“I'm not babying you!" He rolls his eyes at the nickname.

“Yes you are! Why are you acting like a helicopter parent? I'm fine. It's been a week and I am completely and utterly-"

Ben's hand comes up and pushes back a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb lingering for just a second too long against your cheek. The motion makes you freeze, the warmth of his skin like a siren call. "I don't think you need to come back to work so soon." He says quietly, eyes flicking up to where Jake is before he lowers his voice even more. “You were kidnapped and you got hurt. Not to mention that asshole tried to-" Ben's gaze loses any of the softness it held as he remembers what you told him about what Elijah did.

"Ben." You whisper raising your hand to gently touch his wrist. "I promise I'm okay. I'm not doing this to prove anything. I want to be here. I like being here."

"And you don't like being at home with me." Ben whispers it so low that you almost miss it. He withdrawals his hand from your cheek looking angry.

The memory of the day you walked in on Ben talking to Bean hovers over you:

"Why does she hate me so much?"

When you’d heard Ben ask Bean that it hurt you. You didn't want Ben to think that you hated him. He frustrated you and annoyed you, but you didn’t hate him.

Well, he hasn't been annoying me as much lately.

And if anything you were trying not to think about how much you liked being at home with Ben, how much you liked spending time with him. It was easier to try not to focus on that, not when Ben was acting like someone you could love.

Ben doesn't believe in love, not after everything that got fucked up with Countess. I don't think I could ever fall in love with someone like him either. Sure he's attractive, but he's so damn annoying.

"Look at me." You lay your hand on his arm to draw his gaze back to you. Ben almost looks a little embarrassed that you heard him say it and you watch his eyes flick over your head to where Jake is. You pull him through the plants to give the two of you some privacy. "I don't hate you. And I'm not doing this because I don't want to be at home with you." Your cheeks flush with the word 'home.'

Ben kept using it so casually, but to you it always meant something else. Home was the place where you went where no one judged you, where you went to be with the people who loved you unconditionally, and where you felt that you could be yourself with no judgement. Not to mention you believed that eventually your "home" would become a person. Or at least that was what you wanted to happen. Those prospects were looking pretty slim as of late and you were still on the fence about online dating.

Hughie and Annie met the old fashioned way so why should I have to go on an online site only to be rejected based on looks only?

You refocus on the conversation that you're having with Ben.

"I want things to go back to normal, before everything that happened with Darren and Elijah. And this is the only way that I know how." The mention of Elijah's name brings the memory of him on top of you to simmer beneath the surface. You were trying to forget, but every once in a while the memory would come creeping back in bringing the chill of the first frost in its wake to brush against your skin.

Ben's expression softens. "That quack at the hospital said you should rest."

"You mean the man who went to school for over four years to get a degree told me to rest?"

"Then he knows what the fuck he's talking about!"

"Ben-"

"Petals." He sighs the nickname in the soft way that makes a tingle travel down your spine. Ben had been saying it like that more often confusing you further. "You went through a lot and I'm trying to make sure that you’re okay.”

Why does he care about that?

“I am okay.” You whisper. “I’m sick of being on house arrest in the apartment. I can only watch so many of your old films before I go completely insane.”

“They’re not that bad.”

"Debatable."

Ben sighs again, but he seems to realize that you're not going to budge. You were just as stubborn as he was and you knew that he hated that about you. "Fine. I've got to do something today anyway."

"You got a date?"

You meant it as a joke, but for some reason you feel a twinge deep down that you weren't expecting.

"No." For a moment you think Ben almost looks offended by the suggestion. "Butcher's helping me with something."

"With what? You hate Butcher. And why would he want to do you a favor?"

"Because he wants to find the sick son of a bitch as much as I do!" Ben growls, the soft look in Ben's eyes goes dark as you realize who he's talking about.

You hadn't heard from Darren since everything with Elijah. Not that you expected to. Darren's things had vanished from your apartment and he was gone without a trace. Butcher had tried to track the phone Darren had, but it was out of service. You didn’t want to see him and you didn’t want to think about him, not after everything he'd put you through. It was like Darren to suddenly show up with an apology and say everything that you wanted him to. In the past you'd thought it was because he cared about you and didn't want to lose you, but it was becoming more and more apparent that Darren knew exactly what to say to get you to forgive him. He played you so easily that it broke your heart.

It was hard for you to acknowledge that and hard for you to believe that after all these years the relationship you had with your brother had been a lie, a well rehearsed play that Darren performed whenever he was in town.

And this time you weren't going to forgive him. Not when he'd given you to Elijah like a form of payment. Darren was done using you and you were ready to cut him out of your life.

At least, that was what you told yourself anyway. Sometimes when it was dark and you were all alone in your room you thought that maybe you should forgive him because he was your brother and you didn’t want to abandon him. You'd never admit that out loud, and certainly not in front of Ben, but you weren't sure if you were strong enough to turn Darren down if he reappeared.

"Oh." You look down at your shoes for a second while chewing on the inside of your cheek.

There's an awkward silence that passes through the two of you, charged with the same energy that hovered between you when you were back at the hospital. And you can’t help but think that Ben looks disappointed that he has to leave. You again wonder why he was being so overprotective, especially when he said that he didn't care about you.

That was another thing that you were starting to believe was a lie, Ben cared about you even if he didn't want to admit it, because someone who cared wouldn't do everything he had done for you over the past week.

"Petals?"

"Yes Gramps?" You look up at him mentally preparing for him to ask you again if you're okay, but he doesn't.

"Don’t get into any strange cars." Ben's lips tilt up into a smirk.

"Even if they say they have candy?"

Ben only shakes his head, but then he lingers for a second too long, as if he's waiting for something. "And try not to break anything else." He mutters and then he's gone.

Why is he acting so weird?

*Present Time*

"Because Ben said-" Jake says, snapping you out of the memory of Ben saying goodbye.

"When did you guys talk?" You look up at him from the table in shock.

"Well, I tried to come see you three days ago and he didn't let me in. He said you needed rest and that I should come back later." He explains, emptying another box of cacti.

"You came by?" You ask him confused. The cacti are in multicolored pots and you try your best to avoid the spines as you shift them over the table into position.

"Yeah. Ben said he'd tell you that I did."

"Huh."

Ben hadn't told you that Jake came by, hadn't mentioned it once and he'd had plenty of opportunities to tell you. The two of you were practically both living on the couch, because Ben was making you watch all of his old movies. You think that he was trying to impress you with his acting skills, but all it did was make you mock him endlessly for the cheesy lines and the ridiculous helmet they made him wear as a part of his supe suit. You had taken to repeating the lines from the movies at the most inopportune times to tease him and Ben had started teasing you with quotes from the romance novels that you liked.

Your cheeks flushed at the memory.

It had been embarrassing. You were reading on the couch quietly to yourself and were so absorbed in the scene that Ben had snuck up behind you to read over your shoulder. It hadn't helped that you were at a particular steamy part. He'd made a joke of wanting to re-enact whatever you wanted from the chapter and you'd stomped away to take a shower. It was getting harder to deny his requests to sleep with you, especially when Ben was acting different than he usually did and had been acting like a new person since you got back from the hospital.

"He didn't tell you?" Jake looks disappointed.

"Gramps is forgetful sometimes." You frown at the display between the two of you.

Why didn’t he tell me that Jake came by? Jake has been so sweet. He brought me all those plants and he was worried about me. Or at least… You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what Ben said about when Jake came to the hospital:

"He was fawning all over you like a fucking pussy, thought he was going to cry."

You hadn't thought about Jake at all, other than the occasional wave of guilt for leaving him without any help for a whole week. But it was weird that Ben hadn't told you that Jake stopped by, because when Mike brought you a bouquet of yellow roses Ben had let him in and stood with a cup of coffee in the kitchen smirking at you as Mike talked with you for thirty minutes about how nice the weather was outside. It made you want to strangle Ben, but as retaliation when Mike's mother came by later with a basket of wheat grass muffins and something that looked like green sludge you'd invited her in to talk with Ben. She'd sat on the couch in a bright pink mumu, rubbing his upper thigh and talking about her ex-husband while Ben glared at you every chance he got and you sipped a cup of blueberry tea and laughed quietly to yourself.

"Why do you call him that?" Jake asks while putting down a golden barrel and grabbing a fishhook cactus carefully to avoid the spikes.

"Because he acts like a grumpy old man." You snort to yourself thinking of how cute you thought it was when Ben acted all crochety and frustrated by modern day technology.

"He does." Jake laughs. "So…"

"So?"

"Are you guys together?"

"What?" You sputter looking up from the plants to Jake with wide eyes. "Why do you think that?"

"Well he's always around." Jake picks up the empty box and stacks it on top of another one. "And he always acts kind of…" Jake shrugs.

"Kind of what?"

"Jealous. He's always mad at me for some reason."

"That's just how he is. You gotta peel back the layers like an onion when it comes to him." The words are easy, but you can't help but be a little bit surprised. You were defending Ben. You’d never defended him before, made fun of him, apologized for him, but never defended him. "I mean he's-" You prick your thumb on one of the spikes. "Ow."

"Did it get'cha?" Jake snorts.

"Yeah must be losing my touch. Went soft on all my days off."

"You deserved those days off. You needed to rest-"

You roll your eyes. "Please don't say the r word again. Ben's been saying it for the past week."

"I'm serious." Jake picks up another golden barrel and arranges it on a higher platform on the display. "There's something going on between the two of you."

"You mean Ben driving me to the point of insanity?"

"No. I mean the guy is always watching you-"

"He likes to stare at my ass." You roll your eyes at Jake. "What else is new?"

His cheeks flush with your mention of Ben's interest in your body. "I don’t mean like that. He always looks at you when you're working."

Your straighten up from the floor with a fresh box of Christmas Cactus, arranging the long tendrils so that they are hanging down over the edge of the table. "What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I see him walk by later in the day when you're reading at the register."

What? When has Ben been walking by and why? Is he spying on me?

"What? When?"

Jake shrugs. "I don't know just sometimes. He never comes in. One time he walked by with two cups of coffee, but he just kept walking."

Probably for one of his dates.

"Ben isn't interested in me like that. We're just friends and roommates." When you say that your chest gets a little bit tighter. "Ben doesn't have relationships, he has flings. The guy is basically a walking Trojan ad."

Jake runs a hand through his shaggy dirty-blond hair, to push it out of his face and away from his glasses. "I don't know, you didn't see him when you were asleep in the hospital. The guy was practically daring anyone to get close, like he was trying to protect you from something."

His words make you chew the inside of your cheek remembering what your grandmother said about Ben yelling at the doctors and the nurses and make you think about how overprotective Ben seemed to be acting over the past few days.

Ben is just trying to be a better friend. He knows that I went through a lot.

Annie had also been acting overprotective as well. She kept bringing things by the apartment to make your life easier with the cast and she kept bringing by food. She'd also brought by a big bag of thrifted romance books that she had found at your favorite used bookstore Inky's Inspirations and the two of you had spent the better part of a day devouring them. She was making more time for you because you knew that she felt bad about you getting hurt, and Hughie came by too. Ben didn't share the same enthusiasm that Hughie had for conversation, but whenever Ben was mean you would glare at him and Ben would huff out something under his breath and try to contribute more to the conversation.

"That's just how he is. Ben is kinda," You wave a hand. "Protective of his friends."

"I noticed." Jake frowns. "But I guess I'll take your word for it."

An awkward silence follows and the two of you finish the display, but you can't stop thinking about Ben walking past the shop.

How many times did he do that? And why? He always seems to hate walking and makes a big deal about me walking by myself. Why would he want to walk here all the way from Butcher's?

"Why don't you go check out the display of herbs by the register? I'm not sure how to arrange the Rosemary and the Oregano."

"Sure." You shrug heading back through the aisles that spill vines onto the concrete floor, your hand sliding through the leaves as you walk, feeling the plants begin to perk up with your gentle touch. The browning leaves vanished, the drooping stems straightened, and the plants turned up to you as if you were the sun.

Being here again and having a normal day was making you feel better. At home your plants had needed some TLC after you were gone for so many days and as hard as Jake tried to maintain every single plant in the store, you knew that it was too much for him to contain. Things like that were easy for you.

The day passes by slowly. Ben had told you that he'd be there to pick you up at closing and you found yourself checking the clock. You'd never done that before. When you were working in the past you never wished for the day to be over, but for some reason the idea that Ben was going to pick you up made you almost happy.

The shiny metal bell above the door jingled as the last customer of the day entered the shop, but you don't look up from the bouquet of flowers you were arranging for a last minute birthday order that someone called in for tomorrow morning. You didn't often do them, but Jake was busy breaking down the display of flowering plants in the other window and you were more than happy to help out.

Even if it was difficult with one hand.

You could hear whoever it was coming closer to the register, the sound of their shoes clunking against the weathered gray concrete floors with every step.

"Welcome in. Can I help you with something?" You don't look away from the sunflowers in the vase in front of you, using one hand to place some holly ferns to give it a bit more green before you reach for the baby's breath that sits in a bundle on the vintage wooden bar that served as a desk for the register.

"Well I'm not sure. Do you have anything that says 'I'm sorry my friend kidnapped you?'" A familiar voice asks.

Your head jerks upwards at the sound of the voice, but you already know who it is.

Darren stands there in his traditional black army jacket. His blonde buzzed hair is blindingly white in the sunlight that comes through the wide glass windows at the front of the shop, catching the glint of the gunmetal colored hoops in his right eyebrow. His smile is sheepish, apologetic, and if you hadn’t been through what you did, you might have believed that it was genuine.

"Darren?" Your voice is no more than a whisper, surprise leaking into it as you utter your brother's name.

You didn’t actually think that he would come to see you, not when he knew who Ben really was, and not when he knew that you knew he sacrificed you to save his own skin.

"Hey sissy. Did you miss me?"

The nickname strikes a nerve deep down.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Jake glances over from the front window his eyes widening at your sudden outburst. He'd never met your brother before and he knew that something must be wrong if you were angry. Jake knew you well enough to know how composed you were most of the time and knew that for you to be angry something must really be wrong.

"I wanted to see you. Can I give you a hug?" Darren holds out his arms towards you.

"What do you think?"

"But you love hugs." He makes a step towards the end of the register.

"If you take another step I'm going to scream. What are you doing here?" You say again.

"I told you. I wanted to see you. I haven't been able to see you since-"

“Since you handed me over to Elijah to pay off your fucking gambling debt?” The baby's breath in your hand crumbles into a ball, but you barely feel it.

“See." Darren rolls his eyes and holds up a finger. "I knew you’d overreact. You’re way too sensitive.” 

“Overreact? OVERREACT? He locked me in a fucking freezer!” You spit. “He tried to-“ A cold feeling rises and prickles against your skin when you remember the weight of Elijah’s body on yours and the way his hand squeezed your throat. The purplish-black marks were still there, but hidden under a burgundy ribbed turtle neck sweater that you'd put on this morning. You figured it would be hard to explain those marks to Jake, especially when Annie had told him you were in a car accident.

“Hey, is everything okay over here?” Jake interrupts. He wipes this dirt covered hands on his jeans as he gets closer to where Darren is leaning against the front of the register.

"Yeah." You clear your throat. "Darren was just leaving."

"No, I'm not." Darren hasn't looked away from you and hasn't acknowledged Jake's presence. "I want to talk to you."

"Too bad. I don’t want to hear anything you have to say." You breathe, but you could feel a twinge in your heart. The love you had for your brother was ebbing just on the edge of the rage and heartbreak that you felt every time you think about what he did to you. It was difficult to treat him this way, not when you'd given in to whatever he wanted for so long. You hated that about yourself, hated the piece of you that wanted to forgive him.

But Darren does not move, in fact you can see the way his eyes flick over you as if he can sense that you're unsure.

"I want to talk this out." He says a little more forcefully.

"If she says that she doesn’t want to talk to you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave." Jake replies continuing to frown at your brother. They were both about the same height, but where Darren was rail-thin, Jake had a little bit more muscle to him. Not as much as Ben, but enough that he was bigger that your brother.

But you knew that it would do little good. Darren was even more stubborn that you were, and you could see the dangerous glint in his eyes that got him into trouble more times than you could count when the two of you were growing up.

“Try it four eyes." Darren's lips pull back in a challenge.

The lights overhead flicker for just a second, almost imperceivable to the eye. Jake crosses his arms over his chest in a way that you think he must believe is intimidating. “I’m going to ask you to leave one more time before I call the police.” 

"And I said that I'm not going to fucking leave without talking to my sister."

"Sister?" Jake falters looking at you, his blue eyes wide in surprise behind his glasses.

You stand there for a moment trying to think of a way out of this. There's a little voice buzzing in your ear telling you that something is wrong, but you can't put your finger on it. And an even smaller voice whispering that you should call Ben.

I don't need him to handle this. Darren and I have to talk eventually and might as well do it now.

"Fine, but let's take this outside." You walk around from behind the register. "Jake has to lock up in fifteen minutes."

"Perfect! I just need five." Darren smiles at you the same way that he always has, the smile that you'd laughed with and allowed to reassure you, but this time all it does is make all of this worse.

When the two of you get outside, the sun is just starting to sink behind the buildings, bathing everything in a golden glow. Despite the situation it is a beautiful day. The smell of the bakery next door sent the soothing aroma of cinnamon and brown sugar each time it's door opened, the warmth of the sun was on your back and shoulders, the wind had picked up just enough to rustle your hair where it was pulled back from your face in a ponytail, and you could hear the children playing in the park just around the corner where the trees sent their long shadows over the playground.

Darren shifts from foot to foot and you can see the way he's trying to think of something to say, as if he's pretending that he didn't rehearse this in his head. You wonder if he's always done that, if he'd rehearsed everything he ever said to you because he knew exactly what to say to get you to agree for so long.

"Look Darren, I don't want to talk about this. Nothing that you're going to say is going to make any of this okay. Nothing that happened was okay! You left me there with him, you brought me to him, and then you lied about why I was really there."

"I'm sorry about that." Darren's gaze softens, eyebrows furrowing in mock sincerity. "Believe me, I wouldn't have taken you there if I knew that Elijah was going to do any of those things to you honey."

"Oh that is such-"

"I will admit that I did lie about why you were there. But I knew that you wouldn't come if I told you that it was for weed and Elijah really said he just wanted you to look at the plants for a few minutes. He didn't say anything about a freezer." Darren holds up his hands as if surrendering.

"And there it is! You admit that you lied to me, that you manipulated me to get me to go with you. And then you had the audacity to say that if I was uncomfortable we could go home!" You shout at him, narrowing your eyes. "Well Darren, I gotta tell you I was fucking uncomfortable in that damn freezer and in his damn office, and where were you? Oh right…" You tap your lips with the tip of your finger. "You left me there with that fucking psychopath!"

"I didn't leave you there! I called Richie and when I came back into the office, you were gone. Elijah told me that you left! I went back to your apartment and-" Darren frowns at you. He didn't like that you weren't listening to what he had to say.

"Do you expect me to believe any of that bullshit?" You plant your hands on your hips as you interrupt him, feeling a surge of anger swelling in your chest.

Even though the two of you are technically standing outside of the shop, you can still feel the energy from the plants inside, intertwining with you, strengthening you, and waiting for your command.

Truthfully ever since you'd killed Elijah you hadn't been able to forget it. You'd never used your powers like that before, never knew that you could, and never had fanaticized about that. But now, standing outside of the shop with your brother you could feel the plants calling out to you, asking you to command them, begging you to free them. You could feel them clawing in the dirt, the roots beneath writhing and unsettled, the flowers turning to watch Darren and you. Even the trees down the street that stood as stoic protectors over the children playing beneath their feet began to bend towards the two of you.

Sure in the past you'd been connected to the world around you, but ever since everything that happened with Elijah, your powers felt different, as if there was something else brewing and prickling beneath your skin that begged to be unleashed.

"I'm trying to apologize and you won't even listen to me!" Your brother shouts. Darren was leaning down over you, not as tall as Ben, but tall enough to be bigger than you.

You'd never feared him in the past, but you saw something flicker behind his eyes, something predatory, something that you'd never seen before in all the years that you'd spent with your brother.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Darren. I want you to leave-" You reply, hands still planted on your hips.

"No."

"No?"

"No. I can't stop by your damn apartment because you have that asshole hovering around. He would tear me to pieces before I got a chance to talk to you. And I want to explain what happened." Darren snaps back, eyes dark.

"I know what happened! Elijah told me exactly-"

"You're going to believe him over me? I'm your brother! I'm your blood, do you really think that I would have let Elijah do any of those things to you if I knew he would?"

"I don't know anymore."

It broke your heart to admit that aloud, but it was true. You didn't know if Darren cared about you at all and if he loved you the way that you loved him, if he ever had.

"What do you mean you don't know?" He looks hurt, shoulders slumping downward. "Sissy-"

"I-" You falter.

For just a fleeting moment the anger and heartbreak you feel towards your brother recedes just enough for the love you have for him begin to trickle back in. You wanted to believe that he cared about you. Frustrated tears burn in your eyes, because a part of you wants to push him away but there's another part that clings on with bloody fingertips and asks you to listen to him.

Because Darren was your family and all you could think of was if your parents were here what would they do? All those years that you supported your brother you'd thought that you were honoring their memory by refusing to turn your back on him. You wanted to love your brother, wanted to believe that everything he was saying was genuine, and all the years that you gave in to whatever Darren asked you were bearing down on you.

"Come on sissy. I love you. You're the only family that I have left." Darren soothes taking a step closer to you when he senses how hesitant you are to push him away.

"Well-"

"Please listen to-" Darren begins to say, but his entire body is yanked backward by something.

"She doesn't need to hear another fucking word you have to say." Ben snarls, holding Darren tightly by the throat above the sidewalk.

You hadn't seen him walk up. Ben could move silently when he wanted to and right now he looks murderous. There's a fire blazing behind his eyes turning them into heated furnaces of pure emerald, practically glowing in the last slips of the sunlight that peeks behind the buildings and stretches the shadows long over the almost empty street. His mouth is pulled back in a snarl as he stares at your brother, the grip he has on his throat tightening.

The couple across the street gasp when they watch Darren struggle in Ben's unbreakable grip, but Ben doesn't acknowledge them.

"I made you a promise." Ben's voice is a low growl as he holds Darren up so high off the ground that Darren's feet kick helplessly in the air. "You should have stayed gone you insignificant piece of shit."

Darren's eyes flash to yours. "Are you really going to let him treat me this way? I'm your brother!"

Ben's grip tightens on his throat and Darren grabs on to Ben's wrist.

You stand there frozen in horror unable to speak. A part of you is screaming for Ben to let him go and another part of you is begging for Ben to do what you don't think you can. You felt so weak in that moment, unable to turn your back on your brother, on the abuser, the manipulator, and the man who used you for years.

Ben's eyes flick to yours for a moment, something passing through his gaze that you can't understand, but it gives you strength.

"Sissy?" Darren's voice sounds so broken.

"Ben. Put him down." You say.

"What?" Ben snaps, eyes flashing.

"Please. Put him down." You breathe, your eyes catching Ben's for a moment.

Ben's jaw is tight, the muscles in his torso tense, but he does what you say with a grunt. Darren's body falls onto the sidewalk and he gasps for air, touching his throat as he gets to his feet.

Darren smiles at you through the deep breaths. "I knew you wouldn't let him-"

"Leave" You say as calmly as you can, but there's a slight tremor on the edge of your voice.

Ben takes a step closer to you when he hears it, but he doesn't touch you. He's still staring down Darren, eyebrows pulled tight together, and his mouth turned down into a frown with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. You know that he's probably a little pissed at you that you told him to put Darren down, but you also couldn't believe that he listened to you.

"What?" Darren stutters.

"Leave." You repeat. "I never want you to come back here ever."

"But I'm your-"

"If you say that you're her fucking brother one more time, I'm going to rip you in half." Ben's hands clench at his sides and you know that he's holding himself back from grabbing Darren again.

“You’re my family. I love you.” Darren says, the edge of his voice cracking just a little bit, but there's something behind his gaze that makes you pause. You're not sure if it's because he's trying to hide how mad he is at Ben or what, but there is something unsettling about the way he's looking at you.

“I don’t think you do.” It broke you to say it, to admit it out loud. “I’ve let you use me all these years, sacrificing my own happiness, my own success for you, because I loved you, but I don’t think you’ve ever once loved me. All you’ve done is look out for yourself.”

“That’s ridiculous-“

“When’s my birthday Darren?” You ask him, throat tight.

He freezes. “You're kidding right? You really think I don't know when your birthday is?"

"What have I been dreaming of doing since I was ten years old?"

"Sissy-"

"Your birthday is June 12th." You reply without stuttering. "Since you were thirteen years old your dream has been to own a blue 1970 Chevelle with black racing stripes. But you can never seem to scrape together enough money to get one."

Darren visibly pauses with your answer.

"I pay attention to everything you tell me Darren. I remember everything because I love you. And if you loved me, you would know those things about me. You would actually care enough to remember that I hate surprises, that I hate that insipid nickname, and since I was eight years old the only thing that I've been dreaming about is to open up my own farmer's market."

"You're kidding right?" Darren snorts. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"And that's exactly why I don't believe that you love me. Because if you did you would support me the way that I've supported you for years."

"I-"

"No. I have sacrificed so much for you and you have never once done anything for me! So I'm asking you to leave, because as much as I love you, I can't do this anymore." The tears were blurring your vision, but you were holding it together the best you could. Ben was now standing so close to you that his arm was almost touching yours and you feel his fingertips brush the back of your hand just for a second, as if he wants to hold your hand but he doesn't.

"But-" Darren gapes, mouth wide open.

"She told you to fucking scram Dipshit." Ben snarls his eyes narrowing at your brother.

You could tell that it was taking a lot of effort on Ben's part not to turn Darren into mush and it made you grateful that he was here. Because Ben was letting you handle it, but he was there for you if you needed him to be. It was the first time that you realized how much you needed him with you.

Darren stands there for a minute eyeing Ben and you, emotions running together across his face merging with one another, his eyes darkening. And then he does something you didn't expect.

Darren begins to laugh.

 Not just a little giggle or a snort, a deep throated rumble that shakes his body as he doubles over laughing so hard that he begins to wheeze.

"Oh sissy. I've been waiting for this for years. You have no idea." Darren continues to laugh, gasping for air and putting his hands on his thighs to hold himself steady.

What the hell is happening?

"What?" You ask tentatively. Even Ben is looking at him in surprise.

"Man. I've been wondering for years how long it would take you to finally grow a fucking backbone, but wow. I never thought it would be now." He starts to slow clap. "I'm impressed."

"What are you talking about?"

The glint in his eyes was back and Darren was smiling wide, so wide that you could see all his teeth. It reminded you of when Annie and you used to watch Crocodile Hunter on tv when you were kids and would huddle together watching Steve Irwin fearlessly handle them.

Darren's smile turns more into a smirk. "Kinda a good thing too, because I don't need you anymore, not with the way business is going. Honestly, I should thank your boyfriend. He solved a major problem for me."

"What problem?" Ben snarls.

"Elijah." Darren laughs out the name. "When I found out that you were Soldier Boy and saw how friendly you were with my sister at that ridiculous fundraiser. I knew that you'd come save her and kill Elijah. Poisoning his plants and letting it slip at that my sister just happened to be a plant supe at a poker game was the only way that I could get her involved and Elijah jumped at the chance.

He was at the fundraiser? When was he at the fundraiser?

"Why would you do that?" You ask in surprise.

What in the actual fuck is going on? He planned for Elijah to take me? He purposely poisoned the plants?

You were seeing a different side of Darren. Growing up he'd always had a temper, but Darren was never conniving or cunning. He never planned ahead more than an hour. It was always you that had to remind him to do things and you that begged him to at least think ahead for the entire week.

He's not some criminal mastermind. The guy doesn't believe that pickles used to be cucumbers for fucks sake.

"He was bad for business, he was already encroaching on my territory with the weed and then he said he was going to expand into cars and I couldn't have that. So." Your brother shrugs.

"But I don't understand why?"

Ben looks just as confused as you do, but the anger has not vanished from his eyes. You realize that Ben is waiting for you to say the word for him to start in on Darren. And it made you feel grateful again that he was here with you.

"Oh sissy you're still so innocent. I almost feel bad for you, not really. But" Darren flashes another brilliant smile that doesn't seem to fit the conversation the three of you are having. "I guess I should thank you. I would have never been able to build an empire without you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ben spits.

He was getting tired of Darren's monologuing and frankly so were you. An odd feeling prickled against your skin, splattering and splashing like oil in a skillet and the plants in the shop behind you pressed themselves against the windows as if trying to warn you. There was something wrong about this whole situation, something that you knew that you were missing, but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

"And to think I was so upset when you survived that night." Darren looks disappointed, but he chuckles. "Of course my aim now is a little bit better than it was then." His eyes pulse a dangerous electric blue and an unnatural hum fills the air. "I've had the practice."

He's a supe? How long has he been a-

The thought stutters to a halt when you realize what he said.

"Your aim? What do you-"

The words are barely out of your mouth, when the cold shock of what he's talking about hits you like you'd been dunked into a bucket of cold water. The memory of the night your parents died comes crashing over you in a wave and you're transported into the backseat of the car. The supple leather beneath your fingertips, the chill of the air conditioning, the melding of your parent's voices to "Nights In White Satin," the patter of rain against the metal roof that streaked across the glass windows, and the sticky remnants of chocolate ice cream on your cheeks. The unnatural flash of white light illuminates the interior of the car, the light that seemed to crackle and pulse across the space in front of the vehicle and seemed to come from in front of the car and not above the way the cops said it had.

The same flash of light that everyone said was lightning, but now you knew better.

You remembered it all, the hum of electricity in the air as the bolt hit the car and your dad jerking the wheel and sending the car over the bridge, and the sound of your mother's scream ringing in your ears just before the jolt of the car hitting the water and everything went black.

"No." You whisper taking a step back from your brother. "It was you?"

Horror and shock clamps down around your throat making it difficult to breathe.

Why would he do something like that? They were our parents. Why would he want to kill the two people who loved him as unconditionally as they loved me?

You didn't have one unhappy memory from the childhood you spent with your parents. The house was always warm, filled with the smell of baked goods, and the love your parents had for one another and for Darren and you. Every day was fused with wonder and excitement, and the weekends were filled with surprise trips to places that you’d never been before. They cared so much for the two of you, sacrificing the big things in their lives so they could be around Darren and you.

Darren wasn't with us in the car, he said he had homework and that he couldn't come with us to my recital.

Darren smiles wider, proud that you figured it out. "I was worried that you saw me standing on the road that night in the rain. That's why I left for a few days after the accident, but when I showed up again  and you were so happy to see me, I saw my chance. You didn't know that it was me and there wasn't a need for me to stay gone."

"But why? Why would you do that?"

Darren's expression turns murderous. "Do you have any idea what it was like being second best to you my whole life?" Electricity jumps from his fingertips, flashing a dangerous blue and crackling in the air. "What it was like to be your brother?"

Holy fuck he's the electric supe. And the empire that Elijah was encroaching on was his chop shop.

The thought blazes through you and you remember what Elijah said about "expanding into automotives."

Of course Darren needed us to take Elijah out. Elijah had money and had the means to destroy Darren, but without the competition then…

You blink to bring your thoughts back together, realizing what your brother just said to you. “What are you talking about? You were never second best-"

"Yes I was!" He seethes. "You’ve always been the special one. The supe, the favorite, the golden child. I could never touch you! You're the one that mom and dad were so proud of.”

Darren takes a step forward and Ben mirrors the move, shifting his body in front of you to protect you from Darren, but Darren doesn't take his eyes off you. His face is contorted in hate, anger flaring white hot in his eyes that still glow an unnatural and dangerous bright blue. The air is full of the energy, popping and crackling along Darren's skin with every pulse of electricity.

"Darren-" You begin to say, but he interrupts.

"No." He snarls. "I'm talking now. You can't shut me up. Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this? They put you on a fucking pedestal for years. You were the one with all the toys all the talent. You're the one that they gave the Compound V to. I had to scavenge and scrape together enough money to bribe a friend of mine to swipe some from his mother's hospital."

So that's how he got it.

Anger, rage, heart break, and shock were fighting in your chest for dominance. You could feel the burn of tears in your eyes understanding that the brother you thought that you'd loved for all these years was also the man who murdered your parents in cold blood.

He tried to kill you too.

The thought was everywhere, ricocheting around in your head, the truth that Darren hid for years finally coming out.

"I was made for more. You. You're nothing." Darren spits. "You're a disappointment. Mom and dad gave you the powers and all you do is sit in a fucking plant shop all day long. What about me? I can fucking fly! I can fry someone from thirty fucking feet away! I amounted to something. All you do is make the fucking flowers bloom."

You'd heard the insult before on the lips of the men Elijah employed, the men who underestimated you. You'd heard it before in the tone of voice your brother had when he spoke to you the other night when he came to crash in your apartment and took your bed.

The energy in the air was reaching a dangerous peak and you could still feel it scraping against your skin. The plants in the shop behind you are pressed tight against the window and you have no idea where Jake is, only that you hope he's far away from whatever is about to happen.

Anger pulses hard and fast in your chest, sending a bitter taste into your mouth.  "Oh you amounted to something? You didn't amount to anything! You’re still just a sack of shit that’s I’ve been dragging around. And I can't believe that I let you do it to me for years! You don’t care about me you don’t love me-"

"Of course I fucking don’t! I never have!"

"And then you killed the two people who loved you unconditionally-"

"They didn't fucking love me!" Darren snarls. "The only thing they loved was you. A pathetic little bitch who should have just keeled over and died like a good girl."

Ben's hand comes out and grabs Darren by the front of his jacket hauling him up into the air. "Don't you fucking speak to her that way." His voice is no more than a growl, rumbling low in his chest, his own eyes flashing a deep green, darker than you'd ever seen before. His skin has taken on a golden glow, coming through the dark t-shirt and pair of jeans he was wearing and the smell of ozone fills the air around the three of you.

"What are you going to do Benny?" Darren's body is glowing a blue beneath his outfit. "Show me that famous Soldier Boy temper? Fuck, you're just as pathetic as she is, nothing more than a washed up-"

Ben isn't holding on to Darren anymore, Darren's body is flying back into the street with the force of Ben's throw, but it doesn't strike ground, it gets hit mid-air by a passing bright red minivan. Darren's body flips backwards over the top of the car and lands in the street in a broken heap.

You're still frozen on the sidewalk as Ben sails in to beat down Darren's body where it lies, but there's an awful flash of bright blue light and an SUV that was parked on the street goes flying into Ben, propelling both of them into the bakery next door to the plant shop. The loud crashing of glass and brick with the force of the hit rings in your ears.

"Ben!" You shout, but he's no where in sight.

Darren stands from the ground, one of his arms hanging limply at his side and there's a bloody gash on his forehead that drips blood down into his eye, but and when Darren smiles, blood smears the inside of his usually white teeth.

"Goodbye sissy."

You don't have time to react. The bolt of lightning catches you in the center of the chest and throws you backwards into the plant shop. There's a terrible feeling of weightlessness, before your body hits the glass windows and slams into the flowering plant display that Jake had been working on when Darren showed up.

You land on your back hard, head hitting the concrete with a sickening crack that you feel vibrate through your entire body. Pain is everywhere. There's glass imbedded in your back, the cast on your arm is cracked open, your leg is burning and you're afraid to look down to see what you'll find. You can taste blood in your mouth and feel something sticky underneath your head that you're sure is the same.

You stare up at the florescent lights of the shop for a moment, the revelation of everything your brother had done beginning to finally sink in.

He killed our parents, he tried to kill me.

Tears burn and fall down your cheeks with the thought. Emotions swirling in your chest too fast to name.

I spent years taking care of him, letting him berate me, manipulate me, use me for whatever he needed and not once did he love me. I was so stupid. How could I have been so stupid?

The plants were circling around you, calling out to you, brushing against your broken body as you continued to lay there staring up at the ceiling. Black was starting to close in on the edge of your vision, making everything go a little bit fuzzy, but your mind was awake.

He killed our parents, he tried to kill me.

You think again, but you still can't move. You feel the trailing vines of the plants touching your legs, wrapping over them, laying down over your chest, and creeping up towards your broken arm and your face. They were whispering to you, asking your permission, begging you to let them free.

He killed our parents, he tried to kill me, and he tried to kill Ben.

And with that thought, you feel the rage begin to take over, burning hot and beating against your rib cage like a drum.

The plants around you begin to glow a vivid green, binding around your limbs, their strength flooding into your body as you call them forth to help you. The healing energy wrapping you in a cocoon of energy and life, taking away your pain. Pieces of glass fall from your skin, your bones knit back together, your skin closes and the scars left behind disappear as if they never happened.

You rise from the ground, the plants that wrapped around you no more than blackened tendrils of what they used to be, crunching underfoot as you make your way towards the front of the shop. You could feel the energy thrumming through your veins, the wounds you had were gone, the exhaustion and fatigue washed away by the plants that gave what life they had to make you whole.

You'd only ever given life to things that needed you, you'd never once considered that you could take it away.

Darren is still standing in the street, looking proud of himself, but when he sees you reappear in the broken window his smile falters.

"Guess you can take a hit." Darren shrugs. "I'm a little impressed-"

"Our entire lives you’ve never appreciated me. All I did all was listen to you, do everything I could to love and support you. I did whatever you asked without question. I spent so much of my own money, sacrificing little things in my life, doing ridiculous jobs to make a little bit extra, because I thought I was helping you.”

“You did.” Darren sneers. “I never had to work-“

“I’m not finished.” You snap. “I have given so much of myself to you and all it did was enable you. Annie was right and our grandmother was right. You are a leech. All you do is take and take until there's nothing left, and you don't care who you hurt."

"Look who's finally seeing the bigger picture!"

"I am." Your heart was running a mile a minute and you could still feel the remnants of power from the plants thrumming in your veins. "You're a parasite and Ben was right, I was too stupid to see it, too conditioned to believe that you cared about me. But you don't, the only person you care about is yourself." Your voice trembles just a little bit as you say those words, but you knew it was true. "I'm sorry that you spent your entire life believing that our parents didn't love you, I'm sorry that I wasted so much of my own money and time taking care of you, and I'm sorry that after all this time there's still apart of me that wants to forgive you even though you don't deserve it."

"Oh no sissy did I hurt your feelings?" Darren puffs out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. "What are you gonna do? Throw a spinach puff at me?" He cackles. "You're so pathetic. You really think that Mr. American Dream and you can beat me? Please." Bluish white arcs of energy illuminate the air around him, catching in the long shadows, emanating out from his body. His skin has gone an even paler shade of white, his veins a dark blue beneath. "In Greek mythology Zeus is the king of the gods. And all the others bow to him." He raises a hand and the electricity dances across his palm. "Have you come to bow?"

“No, because you were wrong about one thing.” You feel your eyes shift to bright green with your words, the plants in the store behind you screaming for blood, writhing together in a tangled mass in the depths of the shop.

"And what’s that sissy?” Darren snorts.

“Ben didn’t kill Elijah. I did.” 

The building that housed "Please Don't Die" explodes behind you raining brick, mortar, and rubble on the street around where you stand. The creature that crawls forward on broken limbs and tangled roots from the remnants of the store is the size of a city bus. It looks like a large lizard, the claws easily the size of your forearm, it's head the size of a washing machine, and the body rippling with muscle woven from stems, leaves, and vines to claw it's way from the rubble on four legs.

Darren stares up at it in shock, confused at it's sudden appearance.

It opens it's mouth, revealing a mouth full of broken sticks fashioned into points, and lets loose a roar that shakes the parked cars that line the street. You could feel your body intertwined with it, the creature an extension of yourself, the rage, anger, and frustration you felt pouring through the veins of the behemoth that towered over the empty street.

This has never happened before, but it felt right. As if everything inside of you had been building from this, since the moment you used your power to kill Elijah your powers had felt different, amplified. And now standing in the street with the creature at your command it feels cosmically correct. There's a switch inside that flipped the right way and for the first time in your life, you feel powerful.

Darren tries to blast you backward again, but the lizard is faster than he expected it to be absorbing the bolt of electricity. It plows head first into Darren, knocking him back into the pavement. He lets out a yell of surprise, the sound of his head hitting the pavement echoing down the street.

You could feel your body thrumming with power, electrifying your veins, exploding from every nerve ending, and charging through skin and sinew to recreate you into something that you never knew existed and never knew you could be.

The creature's clawed hand is on Darren's chest, flattening him down into the street, and he struggles beneath it electricity crackling in the air. The lizard stares down at him with unblinking eyes, not reacting to the arcs of bluish-white light that pulse from Darren's hands.

It looks over it's massive shoulder at you, the plants that formed it’s body asking your permission, bending to your will, opening it's mouth to click in a broken language that only you understand. You can hear the little whispers of the leaves against your ears and feel the roots and vines that knotted together to form the behemoth that takes up most of the street.

"Sissy-" Darren begins to say, his eyes wide. You could see him mentally calculating his mistake, his misinterpretation of what you were capable of, and see him trying to switch tactics to save his own skin.

But you don’t want to hear any of it anymore. You didn't want to waste another second of your life listening to anything he said.

"I'm your brother." He wheezes the clawed hand heavy on his chest, pushing him down into the pavement. 

"I don’t have a brother." Your voice is cold and emotionless. "All you are is the asshole who killed my parents and used me in every way he could. And you're never going to use ever again.  Goodbye Darren."

"Wait-"

The creature's jaws fasten onto Darren's head and his last words are cut off in the rip of teeth and crunch of bone.

You stand there watching the lizard tear at his body, gazing at the bloody mangled mass that was your brother and your creation that crouches above him. Blood drips from it's bloody maw onto the pavement, staining the street red and it looks at you as if waiting for your next command, but you can't move.

"Petals?" You hear Ben say from somewhere to your left, but you don't acknowledge him. "Are you okay?"

The rush you felt from the plants is gone, the green fading from your eyes, and the sound of Darren's final gasp still vibrating against your ears. The energy is slowly ebbing from your body and you're scared by what's left behind, because that meant that everything was about to come crashing back down on you.

The creature turns and moves closer to you, pressing it's giant head against your torso as if trying to comfort you. And you raise a hand to rub the top of it’s head you can't stop staring at the body, not quite comprehending everything that has happened in the past fifteen minutes.

Darren killed my parents, he deserved this, he tried to kill me, he tried to-

There were tears in your eyes, bubbling over, as you exhale a gasp and a bone shaking sob. Everything was crashing down over you quickly and you sink to your knees.

The creature seems to follow you down, growing smaller and smaller until it's no more than the size of your hand, and clings to your jean's pocket.

Darren's body is unrecognizable, lying in pieces, and scattered over the street. People were running and screaming in terror, but you couldn't hear them. You knew that the police would be coming quickly and you didn’t know how the fuck you were going to explain any of this. Not the giant lizard, not the destruction of the building behind you, and especially not explain any of this to Jake who you hoped wasn't hurt or worse.

You feel Ben's hand come down on your shoulder. "Petals look at me, come on."

"He killed them." You murmur, the memories of your parents flashing through your mind, all of them happy and in love. "He killed them because he thought they loved me more. It's all my fault."  The memory of the nightmare grates across your skin sending a shudder through your body.

"Petals." Ben turns your face to look at him. His eyes are still filled with the force of his rage, but they are softer now, looking at you with an unreadable emotion that you'd only seen in the hospital when you woke up and Ben sat with you. His hand gently traces the curve of your cheek. "That was not your fault. Everything he did wasn't your fault. He was fucked in the head. He-"

"I can't do this." You swallow, pulling yourself from Ben and standing up on shaky legs.

"What?"

"I've got to get out of here." Your feet stumble slightly on the cracked pavement, and Ben catches your now unbroken arm to stabilize you, but also to stop you from leaving

"Let me make sure that you're okay first-"

"I'm not!" Your voice breaks. "None of what happened is okay. I'm not okay Ben I-" The sobs were coming closer together now, everything coming down hard and making it difficult to breathe. "I can't breathe. I-"

"Hey. Shhh-" Ben tries to step closer to you.

"No Ben." You shake your head, tugging your arm to tell him to let you go, but he doesn't. The tears fall faster, soaking through your bloody shirt.

Emotions were pummeling you, overwhelming you, and were making it difficult to speak and to think. The only thought you had was that you had to get the hell out of here, that you couldn't look at what used to be Darren anymore, and that you couldn't look at what used to be the shop you loved so much.

"Just wait a damn minute-" He says more forcefully, tightening his grip.

"No. Let me go."

"Petals-" He's saying it in the soft concerned way that he did whenever it was the two of you, but you couldn’t listen to it. All you could feel was the jumble of emotions in your head and the events of today beginning to press down over you. Darren's confessions and his death were crushing you into oblivion.

"Let me go Ben." You shout again, through a sob.

"I don't want to. Let me help damnit!"

"No, please." You shout, tears streaking down your face as he finally lets you go. "I need to be alone. I need to-" You gasp. "I need to go home."

The darkness was closing in quickly and you didn't know what to do. The tide was overwhelming, pulling you under with every passing second.

"Then let me take you home."

"No." You shake your head. "I have to go home." You say it again for him to understand what you mean. "I can't be here right now with this. With any of this I-"

"Please-" Ben's voice is thick and it's the first time you've ever heard him sound that way.

"No, I have to go."

And you run, leaving the body of your brother and everything you know behind, while Ben watches you go with a twinge in his own chest that he can't understand.

A/N: Lots happened in this chapter. I know the revelations and the twists were WILD. But it finally happened, Darren got what he deserved. I know we don't see too much of Ben and the reader, but in the next chapter things between them are about to become less blurry. And we get a re-appearance of Granny Di in the next chapter!

As always, thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, Comments, and Likes are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for this series please let me know! :)

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@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307 @libby99hb

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

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[emperor-kumquat]

Hello there!!! How’s your day going so far emperor?

Old time fan here! I’ve been catching up on Some of my old transformers fandoms ever since I watched transformers one, and I remember about this awesome project you and many other creators made (btw your work is outstanding, Keep it up!!!) and I’m amazed at how much has changed and it makes me feel incredibly happy that my favorite transformers prime fan-storyline is still here! I remembered finding your videos when it was back in 2020 during quarantine. I always played through the beta version of “mercy” when it first came out and I remember feeling so excited for it; and I’d always wanted to best path for starscream be at least a good guy since he was my favorite character (and still is today)

And now seeing that the game is still in the works and seeing so many new bots is so exciting and happy to see the dedication to this!!! I know I have to catch up on the lore and stuff but it’ll be a fun experience for me, though I just wanted to ask a few questions before I end my first ever question that wasn’t anonymous,

Question 1: is there a discord server where I could possibly join? I want to make sure I could keep up with the latest updates for this project!

Question 2: I know I’ll need to read the Ao3 storyline for mercy but how does predaking and starscreams relationship grow over time during one of the paths? (I can’t remember but I think it was the one where predaking spears him and just keeps an eye on him— along with the predacons going to live in the wild or something? Can’t remember much lol)

And for my last question;

Question 3: Hows the process of “Mercy” going so far? Seeing all the art being made its absolutely stunning and beautifully done!

And that’s all the questions I have for now; until then I’ll be catching up on all the transformers lore that I’ve missed for so many years! I hope you’re having an amazing day Emperor!

————-J

Thank you so much for being a fan of Mercy! I still work on it almost every day! Editing the stories to improve quality, writing new content, drawing, instructing artists, etc.

Have you seen all the art on the Ko-Fi page? I post the commissions there, so there are hundreds of images to see!

For all the latest updates, here is the Discord server. Just so you know, there is a glitch when you enter that doesn't let you interact right away. Stay in the server until I can fix that for you, then you can write your introduction to unlock the whole server. Please read the rules too.

For the storyline you are referring to, I have fully written the story where the Predacons live in the wild of Cybertron with Starscream as their guide. It is THE Starscream story of Mercy and is a tale of friendship. Your adventure gets dangerous later on, so it turns into a fun survival game too! This is the written version of the choose your own adventure story. It's called "Discovery".

The main paths of Transformers: Mercy are on AO3. There are three full length story games available right now and the fourth is in progress. Check out my complete list of works and you may be surprised just how much has been completed since the beta part 1!

Mercy Part 1 (2020): A collection of the various starts to the game. A bit under construction right now to adapt to new plans. Quality is being improved (and the videos will be redone)

Space Adventure (2021): the choice to work with the Autobots on the landing site/spaceport at the end of Part 1. Travel to other worlds!

Reformed Predator (2022): the choice to eat Starscream in Part 1. Become a carnivorous monster then get therapy.

Discovery (2023): the choice to live in the wilderness at the end of Part 1. Explore beautiful lands and befriend Starscream.

Monstrous Heart (2024): the choice to work with the Autobots in the city at the end of Part 1. Discover the dark secrets of the Autobots and Decepticons, thwart the Vehicon mafia.

Right now I'm trying to do a lot of editing for my older content to improve it. I'm also doing a massive effort to prepare Part 2 videos for the Mercy stories so far. And doing my own Mercy art, annd I really need to write Monstrous Heart to completion this year! One novel-length game every year is the goal.

[tteokdoroki]

☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. five good father’s days.

about. your daughter gives katsuki an early, late night father’s day gift. im a sap for him ok !!

warnings. none. sfw. slight angst, hurt comfort and a fluffy ending, dangerous missions, you have a daughter, dad!bakugou & fem!reader.

this father’s day is different.

instead of wrapping up a saturday patrol early in order to spend the rest of the weekend with his daughter, and with you, bakugou finds himself stuck at the hero commission’s main office surrounded by the very heroes he grew up and studied with.

he knows that he should be paying attention, every second and every detail of this upcoming mission counts. if one thing goes wrong, it could cost someone’s life. but bakugou can’t find it in himself to pay attention to the files splayed out before him, nor the presentation the strategy team run through. his mind is elsewhere, stuck on you and his daughter playing with building blocks and tiaras and stickers back home.

the memory of how your face dropped when he returned home the weekend before replays in his mind throughout the meeting. how you knew, from the moment katsuki stepped through the door, that something was wrong. he had to hold you, kiss your head over and over while you solemnly swayed in the middle of your kitchen. he was to go on a dangerous mission to finally take down a group terrorising all corners of japan and he had to go on father’s day.

how were you supposed to explain to your daughter, your happy and brash and playful little girl that daddy wasn’t going to be there on his special day. that he might not even come back. bakugou’s daughter was five now — every bit of her reflected you just as much as it reflected him. she was perfect in every sense and the explosive pro-hero thought himself proud to be her father.

bakugou was lucky. he’d had five good father’s days with his beautiful little girl, and with you his equally amazing spouse. but if he messed up, on this mission it would practically be suicide and he wouldn’t have any more of those days with her or with you.

“did you get that, kacchan?”

the far away look in katsuki’s eyes dissipates as he makes a noncommittal grunt from his chest and looks up to meet deku’s eyes. there is no stir of discomfort or annoyance with bakugou when he looks to his childhood friend — not anymore. they’d long since over come their rivalry, the blonde happily taking the number two spot once he’d started his life and family. they were friends now, equals. but today, a part of bakugou wishes that he could find it in himself to hate deku just a little bit. maybe that would make this father’s day easier.

“yeah i got it. don’t fuck up. take the leader hostage.”

“kacchan please, this is serious.”

all eyes are on bakugou now. he knows that, he fucking knows how serious this is. his life, his daughter’s happiness and future is on the line. he wants to lash out, bare his fangs in place of his hurt like he used to — but he can’t, you and your daughter had taught katsuki to be kinder and better.

it’s because of izuku that the blonde is even spearheading this mission. he’s got a newborn, barely a few months old — if it had been any other time the number one would have handled the mission all by himself. but this is a first for izuku, he’s never had such a precious day to remind him of how well he’s done, remind him of the life he created. bakugou knows that feeling all too well, he won’t take it away from deku.

after all, he’s had five good father’s days.

bakugou gets home after midnight on sunday morning. there’s still toys scattered on the floor and a blanket fort constructed over a portion of the couch which tells him about all of the fun you’ve had with his daughter to distract her. his lips quirk up into the wisps of a fond smile.

he plops his duffel bag down next to case with his hero suit and mission equipment inside — you’d thoughtfully placed it by the front door. he toes off his shoes to delve deeper into the house, rummages through the fridge for left overs. bakugou finds a plate with his name on it and a bento box labelled good luck. no doubt a packed lunch you’d made with your daughter for him to eat on his mission a few hours later.

god he fucking loves you both so much.

after heating up his food, bakugou seats himself on the couch to eat. he knows he should probably crawl into bed beside you, spend his last few hours with you but he just wants to sit. take in the memories you’ve made within these four walls, the beautiful daughter you’ve raised too and admire your life together.

in the silence of the night, katsuki finds peace in everything he’s done for your daughter and for you so far. he eats the meal made with love, in a room that has surely been filled with the same emotion and levels of laughter. the home you have together is bright, wonderful.

even through the quiet, the tiny steps down the stairs do not go unnoticed by bakugou’s trained ear. “hey bug,” he hums, turning around and discarding his plate onto the coffee table. “what’re you doin’ up?”

“you came home late, wanted to wait up f’ya.” your daughter chips and pads her way over to the couch, shuffling up it and into bakugou’s side.

for a moment, their heartbeats sync and he’s transported back to the moment she was born. the first time he held his little angel in his arms and heard her cry.

“s’past your bedtime baby,” the older blonde punches your daughter’s cheek but doesn’t make a move to send her back to her room. “what could possibly be more important than gettin’ yer beauty sleep, hah?”

she’s quiet for a moment, fumbling around in her pyjama pocket for something. “your card, mama ‘n i made it today, see!” sleepily, she hands bakugou a crumpled piece of paper held together by strings of glue and glitter (in the colours of his hero costume) — grinning while she does. “happy uh…happy papa’s day! i love you so much!”

katsuki is quiet for a moment, cherishing the seconds he has with his baby girl, the piece of paper with her illegible chicken scratch writing scrawled across the front and inside where it folds — in such a way that he wonders if he wrote it out himself. he thumbs the glitter even though he knows it’ll stick to every inch of his skin, before pulling your daughter into his lap and kissing the crown of her head.

“i love you most bug, don’t you forget that. kay?” bakugou whispers in a weak attempt to keep his voice stable and squeezes her again. “promise me.”

“i promise dad, as long as you promise to come back to ma and me.” she says, innocent and child-like. “pinky promise.”

bakugou never thought that he would be this lucky, to have raised a kid so smart and loving. he swears on his life and every star up above that he’ll come back to you both. if not in this life time, then the next.

then, bakugou offers up his smallest finger and his daughter links them. “pinky promise, love bug.”

“what are you two doing up this late?” you pierce the moment with a scolding but affectionate tone, wrapping your robe around yourself as you approach the two blonde’s from behind.

“daddy was jus’ waitin’ for you to come downstairs ‘n make us special papa’s day cocoa!” your daughter giggles, showing off all the gaps in her teeth.

you raise a brow at your husband, watching as he mouths the words ‘liar’ at your kid. “was he now?”

“please sweetness? we’ll be in bed by one latest.”

in the end, you relent. you both want your daughter to have something happy to hold onto while bakugou is gone — and who knows how long that’ll be. the three of you drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles until your bellies are full and your little girl is curled between you under the blanket fort on the couch. you wake up giving your husband one last squeeze and desperate kiss, holding your daughter between you as you will yourself not to cry when he has to leave at six am on Father’s Day.

the mission is long, gruelling and contact time with him is far and few but katsuki bakugou isn’t one to break promises, especially to his pride and joy, his daughter because exactly a year later he returns — a little older, a little more rugged with silvering hair and the stubble you always wished he’d grow.

your daughter, now six, runs down your front porch as soon as she sees him — throwing herself into bakugou’s arms and squealing while he peppers her face in kisses. you join them just in time for the blonde to spare you some sugar too, whispering a warm.

“happy father’s day, katsuki.”

and god, he’s never felt more lucky. to be alive, to have you and his daughter, and to have six good father’s days.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[zmediaoutlet]

spn20rewatch, 1.02: "Makes things a little bit more bearable."

Wendigo is where Supernatural really begins as it means to go on -- monster of the week episodes that tie loosely in to a whole season arc. I'm a plot person so MOTWs aren't always my favorite, but what they can do very well is deliver a wallop of characterization and even outright character thesis in the middle of the, you know, screaming blonde women and blood spatters.

Much is made of the big moment where Sam and Dean realize they've inherited John's journal, and that he wants them to pick up where he left off -- you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business. The subject of many a Previously On, and for good reason. More interesting to me, though, is the context in which it's said. Sam's on a knife-edge all episode, desperate to go tearing off in pursuit of whatever killed his girlfriend, has to find his dad first in order to do it -- and it's making him behave contra to how Dean expects their usual roles to go. ("I'm the belligerent one, remember?", he says -- another characterization moment that hits me between the eyes, because he's been clearly not belligerent in all of his on-screen moments so far. What else is told to us, and not shown?)

The point of the hunt in Wendigo is to tell the audience, but also to tell Sam, that this is going to be a marathon and not a sprint. It also helps to construct the moral universe the show operates under: that hunters, by dint of the knowledge and skills they have, must help save civilians from the supernatural when they can. It's Spiderman rules but for the entire country, and it's made clear that if you ignore someone in danger that you could've helped, you are no longer considered morally just by this narrative.

Sam visibly wilts -- he wants revenge now and it's killing him -- but Dean coaxes him back and stiffens his spine. But it's not just the 'saving people, hunting things' that does the job.

SAM: How do you do it? How does Dad do it? DEAN: Well for one, them. [Sam looks at HALEY AND BEN.] I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable.

There's also some fun to be had in killing as many of the evil sons of bitches as they possibly can, of course, but it's this that's the crux of the scene, for me. The hunting life is unbearable, awful, scary and dangerous and they get one step ahead and get shoved back three. John hunted for the thing that killed his wife for twenty-two years and didn't even manage to get it; Sam's looking down a long road of the same thing.

It's the work that can be done in the meantime that Dean excels at, and he's telling Sam now that it's worth doing, and in fact that it's required. The Winchesters have to have these minor victories in order to get up in the morning and work toward the greater purpose -- it's what makes the life (and the show) possible at all. When they bring the saved civilians down off the mountain (with the monster burning in their wake), Sam's buoyed. He still has the main guiding purpose of revenge, but he understands Dean's POV now, too -- they're on the same page, heading onto the road together with the same understanding of their purpose. But Sam's driving.

[scotianostra]

On March 3rd 1883 three hundred inhabitants of the remote Shetland island of Foula were on the point of starvation as the first supply boat of the year reached the stormbound community.

Foula, often described as the "Edge Of The World" is our most remote inhabited island. It is situated in the Atlantic Ocean approximately 20 miles to the west of the Shetland mainland. It is an island of crofting townships, breath-taking sheer cliff drops, and a wealth of wild flowers and wildlife.

Over a century ago, in 1881, Foula had a population of 267, mostly employed in fishing...at the last census in 2001 that figure had dropped to just 38.

On March 3rd 1883 the Shetland Times published this;

The Weather and Mails – Foula

Nine weeks have now expired since our last mail was landed, and all our resources are almost exhausted. Sugar and tobacco have been all done for more than a fortnight, and tea, coffee, etc, are now done also. Those who had a little meal to spare have helped those who had none, a thing often done in Foula, but if the weather does not moderate we will soon be all alike. The boat has been in readiness now for some time to go to Walls for supplies, and as the weather has become a little more moderate today they are going to make a start, so we hope that they may get safe through, and a chance to return again soon. But we doubt if the mail boat will be able to cross today yet, as the wind still inclines to the westward.

There isn’t much more than this about their plight, but it seems that same day they breathed a sigh of relief as a boat must have made it to Mainland and back successfully.

Today crofting as well as fishing are the main activities, half the population living at Hametoun in the south east and the remainder to be found at Ham near Ham Voe on the east coast. The island is not connected to any mainland electricity grid system. In 1987 a community electricity scheme was constructed, comprising a 3.3kV island grid which linked diesel generators, a wind turbine and a hydroelectricity scheme to the island’s properties. This scheme gradually fell into disrepair and has undergone a major refurbishment, funded primarily through grants.

Before refurbishment, the entire island's power was supplied by one of the two diesel generators which operated between approximately 7.20am and 00.30am. That’s not to say they were without power for the, just under 7 hours the generator is off, a battery/inverter system was installed between 2006 and January 2007, a solar charging array helps top up the batteries as well . The system was fully commissioned at the beginning of March 2007 and already the islanders not only have continuous power ( instead of the previous 17 hours per day) but are noticing considerable savings in diesel fuel use. Since diesel has to be shipped in by ferry (and often the weather is too bad for the ferry to run for up to 3 weeks on end) this of huge value.

An interesting feature of the island's people is that they still observe the old Julian calendar, replaced in 1752 in Britain by the present Gregorian system which deleted 11 days from the year. Remote areas of the country kept to the old calendar, adding an extra day in 1800, which was a leap year, and some parts of Shetland continued to observe festivals 12 days after the dates in the new calendar. The most remote areas kept to the old calendar longest, and the people of Foula still celebrate Christmas on 6 January and New Year's Day on 13 January

Travel to the island is by sea or air and is completely dependent on suitable weather conditions.

A wee bit more, and a short video can be found at the link below.

[melvisik]

OFMD S2 SPOILERS

Warning: This post contains non-explicit, brief implications of sexual assault/harassment and (explicit) invasion of personal space. The subject of consent is delicate and complex and I am no expert, so if any information/opinions in this post are evaluated to be erroneous, seem careless, or cause too much controversy, this post will be deleted and apologies given.

Constructive criticism is welcome.

That goddamn scene in episode 6. There are so many amazing posts that have painstakingly broken it down. So at the risk of another potentially controversial (and definitely extremely long) post, here's a summary of a few favorite observations complied together: The main thing to remember is that these two are still frickin' whim-prone. They don't think things through sometimes, and here especially they didn't let themselves think. One would assume they deliberately didn't stop to question any of this - Stede didn't just throw Ed over the couch for a ravishing, he took time to prepare the room as Ed waited for him.

Gifs credit to @mermaidstede

There was also absolutely something happening here on a more subconscious level, so here's a mixture of suggestions in one proposal: Ed came to comfort Stede, something that possibly no one has ever done for Stede before...

Gifs credit to @mermaidstede

Perhaps without even consciously acknowledging it, Stede is so touched. And he's conflicted and in shock and so filled with love for this man - he is an absolute mess. Stede grabs this wonderful source of love and comfort...

Gif credit to @mermaidstede

...and pushes him up against something solid to brace against. Stede is in something like a free fall, and he needs to feel something or someone is there to catch him before he crashes down...

Gif credit to @gay Ed's subconscious might be catching on to this; after the initial surprise of Stede's literal launch at him, Ed's nigh-supernatural instincts gauge Stede and the state he's in.

Gif credit to @gay Stede needs comfort and support desperately, something to show him that although he's killed someone who was a threat to the people important to him, he's not unlovable. So Ed gives the man he loves warmth...

Gifs credit to @gay

Ed shares in the good shit with him...

Gif credit to @nicostiel And Ed later tries to give him good food, like the marmalade he loves so much...

Screenshot credit to @piratecaptainscaptainpirates Ed is technically stretching his boundaries here, but he isn't unwilling to become physical; as much as he prefers to wait, he wants Stede as much as Stede wants him. Ed’s also in a bit of a vulnerable state at this point; both he and Stede just had their personal space utlra-invaded (to put it mildly), by some creepy bastard who considered Ed scum.

But Stede (who just caused said bastard's death for crimes Ed himself has committed against him - damaging his ship, hurting his crew) loves everything about him. Ed reciprocates. He's wanted Stede for a long while now, missing him like hell when Stede left...

...and Ed almost just lost him again.

Moreover, Stede needs to know in this moment that he is loved, it's going to be ok, and that Ed is there for him. So Ed consents...

Gif credit to @nicostiel He lets his adoring mate collapse against his body, giving him his usual sign of affectionate - a rough slap on his shoulder. That hand quickly slides up to brace around Stede's neck...

Gif credit to @nicostiel

...just like Stede had done to him.

Gif credit to @figmentof

Ed's touch is firm. The arm snapping around Stede's waist is firm as hell, as if Ed's giving Stede a combination of "I want you so much" and "It's okay, love. I've got you"

Gif credit to @bulletsangwich

Stede lets go, melting into his beloved, and is surrounded by the strength of supportive arms. He more than likely snakes his own arm around Ed's waist, bringing his other hand up to gently cup Ed's head and pull this solid source of love and warmth closer. Maybe in some ways, Ed is still trying to protect Stede...

Gifs credit to @izzy-hands ...and in some ways, Stede still needs to be protected. Now switch to (hypothetically) Stede's point of view right before this scene- We all saw it, that bastard did indeed hurt his crew and damaged Stede's ship, but when Ned blatantly disrespects and debases Ed...

Gifs credit to @eddie-redcliffe ...Stede snaps. But then perhaps this is a rage that was building before and not just out of protectiveness. Stede was the one who foiled Ned's plan, and yet it's Blackbeard to whom Ned asks about his punishment. We've all noticed how Stede longs to be respected as The Gentleman Pirate, and yet even when he's victorious he isn't taken seriously. He comments later to his Republic of Pirates fanclub how he and Ed take turns making decisions, and that is exactly what he wants. He wants to be Ed's equal. He's not Ed's pet...

Gif credit to @eddie-redcliffe

...anymore than Ed is Stede's plaything. Stede exacts his revenge, but it was an act from which he can never return. Olu and Jim told him in S1 - once you kill, it changes you forever. Ed's told him you can't come back from it. This is the first time he's intended to kill someone, and it leaves him reeling.

He needs time, he goes to be alone. Then Ed shows up, concerned and worried about him. On the surface, perhaps Stede's brain is overcompensating, making him feel confident rather than devastated. Stede could be feeling like he's on the same level as Blackbeard now. Ed has deferred to him many times, but now others will do it too. And here's Ed/Blackbeard himself, sympathizing with him and just simply being the man Stede loves.

Gifs credit to @mermaidstede

Stede lunges. He anchors them both into a stable place, then switches to being being gentle, waiting to see how Ed will react. Maybe also he's thinking how he and Ed are on equal footing now? They can be true pirates together. Or maybe he's musing about how Ned was so wrong, and Ed is absolutely everything? In any case, he treats Ed tenderly when the permission is given, treasuring their closeness but not really recognizing just what his subconscious could really be seeking.

Gif credit to @moiirasketchup In any case, what we ultimately see this night are a pair of kindred wrecks giving over to passion, spurred on from mutual desire and a deep need to show and receive love and comfort. Of course, there are numerous other ways to express these things to one's partner(s) rather than sexually (though it can be a method for some relationships), but for better or worse that seems the be what's happened here. Ed could have stopped it, pushed Stede away or talked him through it. He chose not to.

Stede could have just not initiated it in the first place. In fact, he probably shouldn’t have, and wouldn’t have in he were in the right headspace.

But the heat of the moment can be a bitch when emotions are running high. These overwhelming feelings are in addition to all their other traumatic baggage (which would take too long to analyze in this already-too-long-post, but for example - 'defiling beautiful things,' the different paths they're on, etc.), and again, these two are still frickin whim-prone. This really seems to be a moment when they're both just like "Fuck it."

So when Ed eventually calms down from basking in the afterglow, perhaps he realizes that yes, that could have been handled differently. He agreed to it, he wanted it, but was that really what Stede (or he) needed, and now what does it mean for their future? Ed panics, and true to his whimsy ways, he runs off to become a fisherman without really knowing anything about it.

Stede on the other hand is still running off a major high - he's destroyed a brief-time nemesis, gained infamy, learned pirating skills from one of the best, pulled off successful raids, reclaimed his ship, protected his crew, and made love to the love of his life. Then it all comes crashing down on him - his beloved leaves him, his crew are moving on to others things, and he gets his ass whooped while trying to separate lovers and pursue danger as if he somehow wants to destroy himself.

To state the obvious - Ed and Stede need each other. To share in fun and happiness, and to be there when the other really needs him.

We see them struggling figure out the best way to handle these trying times, and while some of the regrets and the risks are unavoidable, we all suspect (ie know) the rewards would most certainly outweigh them.

And on that note, to sum it up...

It's just the same old song Nothing cruel, nothing wrong It's just two fools Who know the rules But break them all And grasp at half a chance To play their part In a light romance

-"Light Romance" from Blood Brothers P.S. Ok, there's definitely nothing light about their romance but dammit, there's a unshakable need to add a Blood Brothers reference in an episode where Con O'Neill sings like the goddess he is...

Gif credit to @mozarlin P.P.S. Some other sources/insights can be found here (made a list of 'research material' this time):

A couple of analyses of the 'night in question' and/with 'day after'-

And a wonderful analysis/subtext-translation of episode 7's 'last night was a mistake' conversation-

[scotts-takes]

"Black Out See Saw" is the Climax Alkaloid Deserved

Top Songs from Enstars 2023 Number 1

I was blown away when the album art for Alkaloid was released a few months ago...

This art is such a sharp contrast from their first album art, that shows how they have grown. The basic military style unit outfits have been replaced with regal commander-style ones. The basic emotions that are shown in the original are now much more refined- in particular, Aira has evolved from someone simply happy to be on a stage to someone who is confident in his place on it, Mayoi is putting himself more in center, and Hiiro's confident smirk has become more stoic, as he now has the experience to go with his skills.

All of this went away, however, when we actually got the Alkaloid Climax song...

Sigh...it was the seasonal Halloween event for the year. Yes, the idea of incorporating hospital/illness and Tatsumi's relationship with it is an interesting story to tell...but Alkaloid deserved so much more, especially as the "Protagonists" for the !! era of Enstars. I was frustrated that the end of this era of Enstars for Alkaloid was wasted on a seasonal event, but was at least able to take solice in that Alkaloid gets 200 chapters of the main story dedicated to them, and we still had solo songs for each character to come from the album. December rolls around, and the album releases. After jumping through hoops to buy it, I throw my headphones on to give the album a listen. The first track, "DiZZineSS" is a weird 30 second preamble with no singing, not something I was expecting. However, it rolls directly into the first new song on the album

Bam

Black Out Sea Saw is a violent wall of sound, unlike anything else that has been done for Enstars before, and I can understand fans not liking it. The reason it sounds so different is because it was produced by TK of Ling Tosite Sigure, a 20+ year going Prog Rock group. I listened to the song 3 times before moving on, and waited for the MV release to come, as is usual with the "B" side track from Albums. And what we got was one of the most well constructed videos for Alkaloid fans, and the climax that I was looking for that wasn't provided by the Halloween song.

The video opens...strangly, especially if you haven't heard the song before. The opening is intentionally choppy and rough, almost like it was an unfinished song that still needed production. There is a weird reverb effect happening- which you can especially hear when Mayoi hits the high note, that led to a friend saying "it sounds like they recorded this in a bathroom or something". The other thing that really jumps out is how robotic and synchronized the movements of all 4 members are. This is a BIG deal. In just about every Alkaloid video, you can find little inconsistencies at various points- Aira is sometimes a bit slow to do something, Hiiro is sometimes a bit too fast, Tatsumi's movements are less athletic, etc. The robotic movements are all in perfect unison, especially at points where characters do things together, like make hand bridges. It's a sign of Alkaloid's growth as a unit- they started as a collection of rejects, and now they haver come together and become a great unit together.

As we go to the first chorus, the intensity of the song ramps up- it becomes FAST, yet every member is in perfect harmony. The dancing becomes more intense- and everyone stays perfect. And then we get to the final line "It's Error-Error", and things start to change- we start to see more finger movement, the motions become more flowing and less robotic (the robots are malfunctioning! error! error!), and more personality is shown by each member.

We then get a wonderful effect of feathers raining from the sky, before, and then we get to see everyone smile, including Hiiro with this soft and expressive look. (that I wish I was able to time slightly better when I took my screenshot!)

Why is this important? Lets take a look at the first Introduction of Hiiro, in his first close-up in Kiss of Life

It's a look of focus, of determination, and NOT one of joy. Hiiro NEVER smiles at any point in Kiss of Life except during the SPP- he maintains a focused look the entire time. Additionally, you can look at just about any Alkaloid video, and Hiiro rarely smiles- if anything, he just physically assaults the camera in every one of them! The final chapter of the main story is titled "Smile", which is a discussion between Hiiro and Rinne on what it means to be an idol, and Rinne telling Hiiro "Whenever I see you smile, it makes me smile too", with Hiiro responding that he will do whatever it takes to make people smile

Hiiro wasn't able to smile in Kiss of Life, as his focus was on putting smiles on the faces of others. It's weird, because when he isn't preforming, a smile is basically plastered on his face permanently. He has a very loud and infectious laugh, and he's just happy to be doing anything at any time. On stage, for him, its different. And Black Out Sea Saw is the first time that Hiiro is able to not just smile, but show kindness in it, as opposed to simple joy or excitement. It's a MASSIVE step forward for him- the kind of thing that, you know, you might build a Climax story around?

And then, we come to the end, where the intensity of the song does not let up, before it all crashes to an end as the lights go dark and Alkaloid go still

To me, this is the Alkaloid Climax, the song that I will remember. They have gone from a group thrown together to a cohesive unit with a sound unlike anyone else in the franchise, and all of whom have had character growth. It's the one that they deserve going into the new era that is upcoming, and even has a level of finality to it, seeing as how it was released right at the end of the year.

Alkaloid deserved better than Undying Holy Love, and boy, did they get it...

[starknightgirl]

Beyond the Starless Sky, Chapter 1

This is the first of (hopefully) three chapters for my story for the @inklings-challenge. I'm on Team Tolkien and I chose to do a Secondary World story with the main theme of Comfort the Sorrowful. I'm not sure how well I did on the theme part for this chapter. As of the writing of this post, it is the only complete chapter. It is very unpolished so constructive criticism is entirely welcome.

-✦✦✦-

Chapter 1: The Shining City Below

“I, Camilla Rowen, on this, my majority, do hear-by swear to fulfill the Crown Trial.” I said, heart hammering in my chest as I knelt before the Regent Council. “I shall set forth from Adytum and I shall not return until the Crown is returned to our home.”

The crowd gathered at the back of the council chamber erupted in a flurry of whispers. But the Regent Council in front of me was stony in their silence. I swallowed nervously.

Finally, the Prime Regent in the center, a severe man named Braden, nodded. “Very well.” He said. “Let it be known that from tomorrow on, Camilla Rowen has set upon the Crown Trial. She shall be sent to the surface and shall not be welcome back until the Crown is returned.”

I stood and bowed before exiting the chamber. I managed to take four steps out into the city proper before what I’d just done caught up to me. It fell upon me like a heavy weight.

I had all but exiled myself from Adytum. The cavern city, with its familiar luminescent ceiling and walls. The only safe-haven from the Wraiths that stalked the surface. My home of eighteen years. What had I just done?

I’m not sure how long I stood outside the Regent Council Chambers frozen in fear. But it was long enough that Eskil, my best friend found me there. And he was furious.

“The Crown Trial?! What were you thinking, Camilla?!” Eskil yelled. He was still wearing his knight uniform. He must have just come off duty then.

“It’s the only way I’ll find out what happened to my brother, Eskil.” I said, throat tight.

“It’s a death sentence, Camilla! You and I both know what happened to Aidan. He died on that fool’s errand just like everyone else who sought the Crown!” Eskil said. “Or are you not wearing mourning braids for him even now?!”

I slumped slightly. Eskil was right. I didn’t wear my braids just for my parents. But even still.

“I need to know. I could be— We could be wrong.” I said, before adding in a whisper, “besides, you and I both know the only skill I know is illegal surface ruins scavenging, which I can’t exactly get a job doing legally.”

“You could be a knight like me.” Eskil said. “Please don’t throw your life away on this worthless quest! There’s a reason no one has tried since Aidan!”

“It’s too late.” I said, hoping I sounded more resolved than I felt. “I already swore myself to the Trial. I have to leave tomorrow. No matter what.”

Eskil sighed deeply. “I wish you had told me you were planning on doing this.”

“You would’ve tried to stop me.” I said softly. Might have succeed too.

“Yes, because it’s a bad idea!” Eskil said. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumping. “But I suppose it’s too late for that now.”

“It is.” I said. “I’m sorry, Eskil.”

“No, I’m sorry.” He said. “You should go pack. You’re going to have a long night in front of you.”

“It’s alright.” I said, nervous to admit something that would probably make Eskil feel worse. But I pushed through it. “I packed yesterday.”

He sighed. “Of course you did. Alright, well, since you’re doing this, I’m going to look over what you packed. A second pair of eyes could help make sure you’re not missing anything you’ll need.”

“Thank you, Eskil.” I said.

“Don’t thank me yet.” He said. “I’ll be a bit— I should go drop off my kit.”

“Alright.” I said. Then, trying to be a bit humorous, I added, “don’t take too long though or I’ll leave without you.”

It didn’t really land well. He just groaned. “Please don’t joke about that, Camilla.” Which was perhaps a bit fair.

-✦✦✦-

My home was a small alcove close to the surface which had been walled off for privacy. There wasn’t much here. Especially not now that I had packed pretty much all of my worldly belongings into my backpack. My very battered backpack— the number of times I had to sew and patch that bag up, well. At least it would only have to survive one more journey.

Honestly, I was lucky to have a home at all. Even if it was a mere stone’s throw from the entrance to the cavern. Adytum had a serious overpopulation problem— the cavern wasn’t exactly designed for the population that had squeezed its way into it. Plans to expand the caverns had been proposed, but they were dangerous. The last thing anyone wanted was for the cavern to collapse on the city.

Still, there was a cowardice in the way that the Regent Council refused to consider any plans to expand. But then, I suppose it was easy for me to judge from the outside looking in. I tried to remind myself of that every time the Regent Council’s petty in-fighting and self-interested selfishness got on my nerves. It was rather hard at times.

Maybe finding the Lost Queen wouldn’t help. I wanted to be optimistic about it all. I wanted to believe I would find my brother alive and we would bring the Lost Queen to Adytum. But even if I managed to succeed in all parts of my quest, there was every possibility it would just make Adytum’s precarious situation more unstable. The Regent Council all swore an oath to support the Queen when she returned. But how many of them would uphold it?

I shook my head. That was putting the chicken before the eggs. I had to find the Lost Queen first. I had to succeed where so many before me had failed. Some much more well equipped than me.

“Well, this place looks slightly more bare than usual.” A voice said from behind me.

I jumped, my heart racing, before I realized who it was. “Don’t scare me like that, Eskil!”

“Sorry, I knocked but you didn’t answer.” He said, walking over to me. “I figured you wouldn’t mind me just entering.”

“You don’t have to knock, Eskil. Just don’t sneak up on me like that!” I said as I turned to face him. He had indeed taken off his gambeson, mail and helmet, leaving him in a dark tunic and pants. He also had what looked to be a large pole wrapped in a cloth. “What’s with the pole?”

“It’s a gift.” He said. “I’ll show you in a bit. First, what did you pack?”

“Nothing too crazy. A canteen of water. Hardtack, some oats and a bit of honey. A small metal pot and spoon. A fire-starter. A bedroll. Linen and rope for shelter. A spare change of clothes. And, of course, my crystal lantern.” I said.

Eskil smiled fondly. “You were so disappointed when Aidan gifted that to you. But that little lantern has probably saved your life several times.”

“Well Aidan wasn’t too happy when he realized giving me it allowed me to take more risks while scavenging.” I said sheepishly. “So, what do you think?”

“Seems like a pretty good kit.” He said. “I don’t want to know where you got a fire-starter, do I? You know they’re heavily regulated here.”

“I only got it a few days ago, Eskil. Don’t worry, I haven’t been sitting on an illegal fire-starter for years.” I said.

“I said I didn’t want to know, Camilla.” He said, but his tone was fond.

I shrugged slightly. “I mean, I didn’t tell you where I got it. Just when I got it.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Eskil said.

I grinned at him, half-bowing sarcastically, “with pride.”

“There is something you’re missing though.” He said, with a slight air of theatricality.

“Oh?” I said. “Might that be your mysterious present?”

Eskil unwrapped the object he’d brought. It was a sword, securely held in a rust-colored leather scabbard that matched the hilt. “I meant for you to take this on your Knight Trial but luckily it still works for this too. I hope you never have to use it. But just in case.”

“I— I don’t know what to say, Eskil.” I said. “Surely this cost way too much.”

Eskil rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, actually, I made it.”

“What?” I said, staring at him in shock. “How? What about the Smith Trial?” I couldn’t comprehend the idea that Eskil of all people might’ve broken the law.

“I’m not selling it, it’s a gift.” He said with a grin. “It’s a bit of a loophole but no one ever said you needed to pass any Trials for gifts. Oh, speaking of, you haven’t seen the best part yet.”

With a flourish, Eskil unsheathed the sword. But surprisingly, where I expected to see metal, was instead a crystal blade. It shone, filling every shadowed corner of my home with light.

“Wow.” I said. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, but it’s also practical.” Eskil said with a shrug, dropping the scabbard on my bed. “If, heaven forbid, you end up running into some Wraiths, this should help more than a regular sword.” Then he gently handed the sword to me.

I stared at it, baffled. “Weird.” I said. “I expected it to be heavier. I mean, not that it’s light by any means, but it’s made of bright crystals right?”

“Well, sort of.” Eskil said. “There is a bright crystal core to it. But you’re right. Bright crystals alone would’ve been too heavy— that’s probably why no one has made a sword like this before. But notice how the surface is clear? I used aninite.”

“But aninite isn’t clear.” I said, turning the sword in fascination. Most of the cavern walls here were made up of ainite; that lucky fact had probably saved us all because aninite was a very light, yet strong rock. But those walls were also every shade of dark gray.

“It’s not usually, no.” He said. “But I heard of some bright crystals that don’t glow. And I got curious. And it turns out, they’re not bright crystals at all. Under the right circumstances, aninite can be everything from a smoky gray to full on clear like here.”

“That’s amazing.” I said. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

“I’ll feel better knowing you have it.” Eskil said. “I made it with you in mind. Besides, I can always make another one.”

I gently set the sword down on my bed and grabbed Eskil in a tight hug. “Thank you, Eskil. For everything.”

“You’re welcome, Camilla.” Eskil said. “Now come on, if this is going to be your last day in town for awhile, you deserve to have some good food for once.”

I tried to smile, even though I could feel the weight of the Trial looming over me. “Alright. Let’s go.”

-✦✦✦-

I shifted nervously standing before Adytum’s main gate. There were other, narrower tunnels out, even though there weren’t supposed to be. Most of those I knew like the back of my hand. But I had never actually left by the main entrance. My surface expeditions were illegal after all and the main gate was where the guards stood watch.

My new sword was an unexpected weight on my right side, but my backpack was little heavier than I was used to. It should’ve felt almost like a normal expedition. It really didn’t. There was something about knowing how I might never return. It weighed on me.

Last night had been amazing. I had never wanted it to end. But eventually it had, Eskil forcing me to go home early to get sleep for my early departure time. I had not slept well.

Surface travel was going to be hard. On my expeditions I had always left just after sunrise and come back before sundown to avoid the Wraiths. I no longer had that option. A nocturnal schedule would allow me to defend myself at night. But traveling by day would be safer. There didn’t seem to be a good option.

“Nervous?” Eskil said as he walked up from behind me. It was his day off so I wasn’t too surprised to see he had once again forgone his armor.

I nodded, turning to face him. “Mostly I’m waiting for them to be ready. Well, that and trying to determine if it’s better to travel by day or by night.”

“Try by day first.” Eskil said. “A properly secured campsite might be able to save you from having to fight Wraiths at all.”

“Or get me killed.” I said, shifting nervously.

“You’re going to be fine, Camilla.” He said. “I believe in you. Trust me, the surface is survivable. And I know that you of all people can do it.”

“I’m going to miss you.” I said. “Especially if— if I fail.”

“Hey, don’t think like that.” He said. “You’re going to be the one to pass this Trial.”

“You didn’t think that yesterday.” I said, slumping slightly. “What if this is really as you said, a death sentence?”

Eskil sighed. “You’re right. I didn’t think that yesterday. But that had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Me and my fears. Because when I really stop to think about it, I know you can do it. I believe in you, Camilla.”

“Thanks, Eskil.” I said.

“Hey, it’s all I can do for you now.” He said.

“It still means a lot.” I said, pulling him into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.”

“You’ll just have to pass your Trial then.” He said, slowly pulling back. “Go onto victory and safely return.”

“May your path be lit until that day.” I said softly.

“For having known you, it will be.” He said with a bittersweet grin. “Now, go on, you’re going to be amazing!”

“That’s not part of it!” I said, shaking my head fondly, turning towards the gates. The guards were changing to the day shift which meant it would be time soon.

“I don’t care, it’s true!” Eskil called after me.

“If you say so!” I said, not even bothering to turn back. In front of me, the guards finished swapping. I walked towards the one on the right. He was in charge of the gate. That meant he would be the one alerted to my Trial and subsequent departure. I felt surprisingly steady all things considered.

“You Camilla Rowan?” The guardsman asked. He probably didn’t see too many people trying to leave given the circumstances.

I nodded. “That’s me.”

“Here. Your Crown compass. Don’t lose it.” He said, handing me what looked like a compass made of dark opaque crystal.

I’d only seen one once before, when Aidan had set out on his quest, but its appearance was seared into my brain. A dark opaque crystal compass set with white markings hung on a leather strap. An enchantment on the needle would make it always point to the Lost Queen. It would be my guide for the Trial, leading me in the straightest possible route. Of course, it also didn’t account for obstacles in the way.

“Camilla Rowan,” the guardsman said sternly, “Return with the Crown or not at all.”

“I— I swear I will.” I said.

The guardsman opened up a door into the guardhouse. Another guard stood there to lead me out. The last memory I had of Aidan was of him walking this same route.

At the time, I had imagined that they would open the portcullises for him; I imagined I would watch him walk up the cavern entrance until he vanished from sight. It had rather broken my imagination to learn that there was a hatch between the two portcullises that single travelers could exit via rope ladder. Only one portcullis need open, the outer one.

In hindsight it was a silly assumption because they didn’t even open both portcullises when the Knight Trial candidates needed to leave. They cycled the portcullises, first one the the other.

The journey through the guardhouse was short— I spent most of it lost in thought and was quite surprised only a few minutes later to have already made it to the exit. The hatch was larger than I expected, but certainly not beyond measure. The guardsman anchored the rope ladder and then opened the hatch. He threw the ladder down.

My hands felt clammy as I slowly climbed my way down. The ladder seemed to sway with every step, sure as they were. Compared to the walk through the guardhouse, the short climb down seemed of interminable length. Still, eventually I reached the end. I stepped off the ladder and had but a moment to catch my breath before one of the portcullises slowly rose.

It revealed a tunnel of dark gray rock, much more wide than the passages I was used to sneaking out of. Maybe that was what made it feel so different to leave. Maybe it was that the Crown Trial had just begun. At any rate, I was on my way.

-✦✦✦-

1 2 3 - Next Chapter >

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Complications

Dieter Bravo x f!reader

|| Consent universe oneshot but can be read independently from the series ||

{ Fuck Yeah Holidays | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }

Rating: E

Prompts: Dieter shoots a watch ad | New Year's Eve

Summary: Dieter shoots a watch ad at a New Year’s Eve party. What could possibly happen - specifically in the VIP powder room - when the ball drops?

Warnings: !WATCH KINK!, dirty talk, fingering, semi-public sex. These holiday fics are for fun, so not as *rigorously edited* as my regular stories, please forgive any mistakes or plot holes!

Word count: 2.3k

In horology, a complication is any feature of a mechanical timepiece beyond the display of hours, minutes and seconds.

Dedicated to Maddie @imaswellkid for loving watches on Pedro boys as much as I do 😘

‘Sweetheart. C’mon, stop pouting.’

‘I’m not pouting.’

Dieter brushes the pad of his thumb across your lips, pursed petulantly despite your denial. ‘You so are.’

You swat away his hand then cross your arms. ‘I’m scowling. There’s a difference.’

You’re not sure who made the executive decision to appoint Dieter Bravo as the brand ambassador of a watchmaker. The man’s never worn a watch in his life. Time is but a social construct to him.

But what’s done is done, and he will be launched as the face of their new line of luxury watches at a New Year’s Eve party hosted by the brand this very evening - a last-minute decision that’s upset your plans for your first new year together.

Pete is throwing a bash at the warehouse conversion he’s just moved into, and you’ve been looking forward to seeing your backstage friends from Resurgence since you got the invite. You pull out your phone to text him your apologies, which Pete responds to speedily with a string of sad face emojis, and follows up with a call to Dieter.

You can hear Pete whining through the receiver even though the phone isn’t on speaker as your boyfriend pacifies him. ‘Man, you know how much I wanted to come, but this work thing came up last-minute. We’ll make our way over right after the countdown, I promise. Yes, pinky promise.’

Your lips quirk despite your mood.

Hanging up as the car rolls to a stop in front of a swanky hotel, Dieter sighs at your long face. He leans over to press a kiss to your impassive lips, his brown eyes pleading. ‘I’ll make it up to you sweetheart, ok?’

‘Fine,’ you huff, softening just the tiniest bit as the car doors are flung open, and with one last smile at you, Dieter is whisked away by his PR team.

Midnight is still a few hours away, and the schedule is tightly packed with a photoshoot beforehand and filming of behind-the-scenes footage for social media. They settle you in the lounge of the presidential suite while Dieter gets ready in the other room, and you begrudgingly accept a glass of champagne and the plate of canapes they leave you on the coffee table.

You pace yourself, making the bubbles last. Pumped up dance music spills from his room as the door opens and closes with the rush of pre-shoot chaos. Garment bags, shoe boxes and makeup trolleys come and go as you entertain yourself with the glossy magazines on the coffee table while the PR team buzzes about, wired to earpieces and shouting orders into their phones.

You’re halfway through an embarrassingly engrossing magazine quiz - how hot is your sex life according to your fave side dish - when a shadow falls over you.

‘Sweetheart, we’re heading down to the party now. Come with?’

You can’t help but stare.

To be honest, you had no expectations whatsoever for this gig. You thought they would dress him up in a generic black suit, take some generic shots with him fiddling with his cufflink while showing off his timepiece like every other generic watch ad. It’s not like you don’t appreciate a sharp suit or a nice watch, you do - but it’s just not Dieter.

And it looks like the stylist heard your prayers.

Instead of a traditional two-piece, Dieter is wearing relaxed dress pants, a light knitted pullover tucked into them over a smart belt. Rounding off the ensemble is a smart knee-length black coat with sharp lapels. His signature sunglasses perch on the tip of his nose, his curls styled messily.

The sleeves of the coat are folded up to expose his strong hands, but what really catches your eye sits on his left wrist - a large, square-faced watch with a steel chain bracelet.

While you don’t count yourself a connoisseur, you know enough to recognise that this watch is the real deal. The time display is in refined Roman numerals, and an elegant moonphase complication sits at the top of the dial. The pièce de résistance is the small, circular window at the bottom of the face that offers a peek into the sacred inner mechanics - the tourbillon. Beneath the glass is a gorgeous criss-crossing of gold wheels, brass cogs, and silver springs, all tangled in perfect synchronisation, endless moving parts that tick and spin.

It is a beautiful watch, no doubt, and a hugely expensive one at that.

To your consternation, they’re letting him wear his ratty knitted bracelet he bought from a vendor on a farflung beach in Thailand on the same hand, as well as his rings with the black gemstones on his index and pinky fingers.

While unusual in theory, the contrast somehow pays off. The whole look just works - it’s Dieter. You could kiss the stylist on the mouth with joy even though your boyfriend is standing right there.

‘Sweetheart?’

Your eyes fall to Dieter’s palm, open and outstretched in invitation. Then they move just a few inches upward, lingering on the smooth steel encircling his wrist.

You swallow thickly and put your hand in his, letting him pull you onto your feet, knees wobbly. A shiver runs down the length of your spine when the watch brushes your skin.

It should come as no surprise to you that Dieter is just as good on the set of a photoshoot as a movie. He works the angles, ever aware of the lighting and the cameras, hitting pose after pose like the professional that he is.

The photographer’s assistant shows you the stills on a laptop as they snap. With the set outdoors in the dark, the raw lighting - bordering on harsh - lends a gritty overtone to the photos, the tone far more artistic than commercial.

There’s no tweaking of cufflinks or stale power posing here. Dieter’s smouldering at the camera, peeking through his hand while the watch takes centre stage. He’s raking his fingers through his hair, lips grazing the metal strap as he gazes into the lens.

But when he brings it to his mouth, biting the steel case with the pink of his tongue peeking through, your knees all but give out.

By the time the photographer yells it’s a wrap, you’re a mess. Tension hums under your skin and there’s a stickiness between your legs that puts you in a highly inconvenient position given that Dieter will be fully occupied for the next hour and a half. You adjust your dress as discreetly as you can, jumping when his palm lands warm on your back as he ushers you indoors before you can pull yourself together.

This party is not your scene. Formulaic pop music blares from the speakers, beautiful people mill about in sequins that sparkle under the disco lights and bounce off blindingly from mirrors everywhere you look. The only redeeming detail is the delicious champagne that flows liberally, at least that tempers the tedium.

Everyone wants a piece of him. Sometimes you find it hard to believe that this is the same guy who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher. He handles the relentless demands with aplomb - a selfie with a fan here, a few words for New York Times Style magazine there, all the while performing for the live stream camera that trails two steps behind him.

You linger nearby, following discreetly while sipping on champagne. Even from a distance, the watch catches the light whenever he moves. Dieter notices you staring, jaw slack, more than once. But the harder you try to act normal, the more on edge you get. He sends you more than one quizzical glance over the top of his sunglasses, but with people buzzing around him like pesky wasps, it’s not until twenty minutes to midnight that he catches a break and drags you unceremoniously into the VIP bathroom.

The heavy oak door shuts out the blasted music as Dieter locks it behind him, wheeling you around with his grip on your elbows. ‘Alright sweetheart, what is it? Are you still mad about Pete’s party?’

You grit your teeth and force yourself to keep your eyes on his. ‘No.’

He sighs. ‘We can go afterwards. I told Pete we will, I just need to do this countdown thing and we can go right after.’

‘I said it’s not that,’ you insist, fighting the damn magnetic force trying to drag your gaze downwards.

Tugging you into his arms, Dieter traces his nose on your cheek. ‘C’mon sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.’

Your voice trembles. ‘I’m not lying, I’m fine.’

Clearly unconvinced, he arches an eyebrow at you before pulling back, cocking his wrist to check the time.

The whimper slips from you without you knowing, suspended in the air between you that thickens instantly like some chemical reaction.

Dieter looks at you sharply. ‘What was that, sweetheart?’

You give in and take a peek at his watch for just one second, but he catches you - of course he does. A cocky grin tugs at the corner of his lips as he drawls, ‘What have we here - found a new accessory that you like the look of?’

You whine, a hot flush of embarrassment in your chest. ‘I don’t know why it turns me on.’

‘What does? The fact that I can tell time?’ he teases. Splaying his left palm on the nape of your neck, the cold bracelet of his watch caresses the side of your neck. ‘First my rings, now this? You filthy girl.’

‘I can’t help it,’ you gripe.

Knowing exactly what it does to you, Dieter takes another exaggerated look at his watch, head tilted to the side. ‘We have fifteen minutes. Can you be quick, sweetheart?’

At your desperate nod, he backs you up into the full-length mirror on the far side of the powder room before spinning you around, crowding you against the cool surface. His entire body engulfs from behind you as he trails kisses down the side of your neck, watching your reflection squirm in his grasp from the corner of his eye. With no preamble, he bunches your tight skirt all the way up your hips and tugs your panties to one side impatiently.

‘Look at how wet those panties are,’ he moans into your ear. ‘Have you just been standing there checking me out, rubbing your thighs together all this time?’

A gasp catches in your throat. ‘Yes.’

His left palm trails down your body, and you stare openly as the watch skims over your body, the hard steel scraping the swell of your cleavage as it descends. You’re panting by the time Dieter’s fingers slide along your folds until the tips nudge your slick entrance, a cry wrangled from you when the watch falls to the base of his hand and the strap grazes your clit. With a growl, he presses his inner wrist into the sensitive apex of your thighs. ‘Feel good, baby?’

You make an incoherent sound when two thick digits slip into your sodden pussy. ‘Oh fuck, yes, please.’

‘Rub that needy clit on my watch, sweetheart,’ he orders, dark eyes on you. ‘Smear yourself all over it.’

You mewl and do as you’re told. Riding his fingers, you feel every ridge on the watch strap as you grind into the smooth steel, your movements crude and fitful. Dieter has to hold you up with his free arm wound tight around your waist while your hands cling to the back of his neck.

‘Fuck, you’re getting so wet,’ he says through gritted teeth, as if in awe, and pumps harder into you. ‘Oh yes, I feel your cunt clenching around me, you’re close, aren’t you?’

You moan, words failing you. ‘Don’t stop, please -’

‘Fuck, baby, you’re getting my watch all wet,’ he grunts, pinching your chin between his fingers, making you look at yourself in the mirror. ‘See how it’s shiny with your slick? So fucking pretty, sweetheart.’

You feel another gush of arousal drip down his hand, and his watch slips, the bracelet catching your clit in an angle that makes your back arch. You cum hard, writhing desperately in his grasp as he whispers filth into your ear through your high. ‘So good for me, baby, that’s it, such a good girl, dripping all over my expensive watch, you filthy thing -’

Dieter nuzzles your neck as you catch your breath, the scrape of his beard on your sensitive skin making you tremble and squirm in his grip. He gently eases out of you, sucking his fingers clean before turning you around and kissing you slowly and deeply so that you can taste yourself on his tongue.

You’re still drifting in the aftershock when a frantic series of knocks on the bathroom door shakes you out of it. With an irritated snarl, Dieter barks, ‘What?’

‘Um, Mr. Bravo - we’re five minutes from midnight, you need to come out right now -’

‘I can read the fucking time,’ he snaps and gives you an apologetic kiss to the temple. ‘Sorry baby, work beckons.’

Your hand shoots out of nowhere to grab him, and locking your gaze with him, you drag the flat of your tongue across the damp strap, tasting yourself on the metal.

His nostrils flare and you can almost hear his jaw crack, pupils blown wide and black as you give him a wicked grin. Snaking one palm all the way down to rub his straining erection, you breathe into his ear. ‘I want you to stroke yourself until you cum all over that fancy watch later, okay?’

He groans, burying his nose in your hair. ‘How am I going to count down with this huge fucking boner in my pants, baby?’

You wink and give him a full-mouthed kiss. ‘Just think of it as a countdown to something else after.’

Dieter chuckles against your lips. ‘Happy fucking New Year indeed, sweetheart.’

Notes: I finally did it. A watch kink fic! Honestly, it's not as wild as it could've been, but damn I had the best time writing it. Thank you for reading, wishing all you wonderful people a very happy new year! ❤️

As soon as it was became clear from the results that NYE was going to be paired with the watch ad prompt, I just knew instantly I had to set it in a NYE party. Thank you Hayley @haylzcyon for this request that went perfectly with my idea:

ooohhh don't feel pressured to write this in if you do the NYE prompt but the idea of a swanky NYE party where reader and dieter get a little tipsy, sneak off for a quickie in a coat room or something and realize they missed the ball drop when they come back would be hilarious. dieter can't imagine a better way to ring in the new year than between your thighs 😏

[alpaca-clouds]

Why AI sucks so much

(And why it doesn't have to.)

AI sucks right now. Because it was never to be used, like it is used right now. Because the way AI is currently employed, it does the one thing, that was always meant to be human.

Look. AI has a ton of technological problems. I wrote about it before. Whenever you have some "AI Writer" or "AI Art", there is no intelligence there. There is only a probability algorithm that does some math. It is like the auto-complete on your phone, just a bit more complex, because it has been fed with basically the entire internet's worth of words and pictures. So, when the AI writes a story, it just knows that there is a high likelyhood that if it has been asked to write a fantasy story it might feature swords, magic and dragons. And then puts out a collection of words that is basically every fantasy story ever thrown into a blender. Same when it "draws". Why does it struggle so much with teeth and fingers? Well, because it just goes by likelihood. If it has drawn a finger, it knows there is a high likelihood that next to the finger is going to be another finger. So it draws one. Simple as that. Because it does not know, what a finger is. Only what it looks like.

And of course it does not fact check.

But all of that is not really the main problem. Because the main culture actually just is the general work culture, the capitalist economy and how we modelled it.

See, once upon a time there was this economist named Kaynes. And while he was a capitalist, he did in fact have quite a few good ideas and understood some things very well - like the fact that people are actually working better, if their basic needs have been taken care for. And he was very certain that in the future (he lived a hundred years ago) a lot of work could be done by automation, with the people still being paid for what the machines were doing. Hence having the people work for like 15 hours a week, but getting paid for a fulltime job - or even more.

And here is the thing: We could have that. Right now. Because we did in fact automate a lot of jobs and really a ton of jobs we have right now are just endless busywork. Instead of actually being productive, it only exists to keep up the appearance of productivity.

We already know that reducing the workdays to four a week or the workload to 30 or even 25 hours a week does not really decrease productivity. Especially with office jobs. Because the fact is that many, many jobs are not that much work and rather just involve people sitting in an office working like two hours a day and spending the rest with coffee kitchen talk or surfing the internet.

And there are tons of boring jobs we can already automate. I mean, with what I am working right now - analyzing surveying data - most I do is just put some parameters into an algorith and let the algorith do the work. While also part time training another algorithm, that basically automatically reads contracts to make notes what data a certain contract involves. (And contrary to what you might believe: No, it is not complicated. Especially those text analysis tasks are actually super simple to construct, once you get the hang of it.)

Which also means, that half of my workday usually is spend of just sitting here and watching a bar fill up. Especially with the surveying data, because it is large, large image files that at times take six to ten hours to process. And hint: Often I will end up letting the computer run over night to finish the task.

But that brings me to the question: What am I even doing here? Most of the time it takes like two hours to put the data in, run a small sample size for checking it and then letting it run afterwards. I do not need to be here for that. Yet, I do have to sit down for my seven and a half hours a day to collect my paycheck. And... It is kinda silly, right?

And of course there is the fact that we technically do have the technology to automate more and more menial tasks. Which would make a lot of sense, especially with the very dangerous kinda tasks, like within mining operations. Like, sure, that is a lot more work to automate, given that we would need robots that are actually able to navigate over all sorts of terrain, but... You know, it would probably save countless lives.

Same goes for many, many other areas. We could in fact automate a lot. Not everything (for example fruit picking is surprisingly hard to automate, it turns out), but a lot. Like a real lot.

And instead... they decided to automate art. One of the things that is the most human, because art for the most part depends on emotions and experience. Art is individual for the most part. It is formed by experience and reflection of the experience. And instead of seeing that, they decided to... create a probability generator for words and pixels.

So, why?

Well, first and foremost, because they (= the owner class) do want to keep us working. And with that I mean those menial, exhausting, mind-numbing jobs that we are forced to have right now. And they want us to keep working, because the more free time we have, the more time we have to organize and, well, rise up against the system, upon realizing how we are exploited. Work itself is used as a tool of oppression. Which is why, no matter how many studies show that the 30 hour week or 4 day week is actually good, that UBI actually helps people and what not, the companies are so against it. It is also why in some countries, like the US, the companies are so against paid sick leave, something that is scientifically speaking bonkers, because it actually harms the productivity of the company. And yes, it is also why still in the midth of a pandemic, we act as if everything is normal, because they found out that in the early pandemic under lock down and less people working, people actually fucking organized.

And that... also kinda is, why they hate art. Because art is something that is a reflection upon a world - and it can be an inspiration for people, something that gives them hope and something worth working towards to. So, artists are kinda dangerous. Hence something has to be done to keep them from working. In this case: Devaluing their work.

And no, I do not even think that the people programming those original algorithms were thinking this. They were not like "Yes, we need to do this to uphold the capitalist systems", nor do most of the AI bros, who are hyping it right now. But there are some people in there, who see it just like that. Who know the dangers of actual art and what it can mean for the system that keeps them powerful.

So, yeah... We could have some great stuff with AI and automation... If used in other areas.

I mean, just imagine what AIs could do under communism...

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Kitten's 13 now and these girls are basically out of stuff to research, so time to start wrapping things up. I'm not done right this second, but for a snapshot of where things ended up...

This is where I'd normally give a long series of screenshots and overviews of all the characters' specialties, but... they're all clones of the same woman, and they're all ridiculously fast learners in one way or another. They've all got about 10 implants, including a rough baseline set of a: bionic/archotech eye, leg, and arm; coagulator; toughskin gland; healing enhancer; learning assistant; painstopper; circadian assistant; and neurocalculator. Nekomata gene nonsense shakes things up a bit, but for example:

The lowest Shooting is Cupcake at 18.

The lowest Social is Cupcake... at 20.18.

The lowest Medical is Shorty at 14.

etc. They're pretty much all really good at Shooting, Melee, Construction, Social, Medical, and Intellectual, and at least decent at Cooking, Animals, and Plants. That leaves Artistic, Mining, and Crafting to differentiate them a bit. So, like. Cupcake and Scratch are the artists. Cupcake, Damage, and Shorty are the crafters. Kitten's the miner.

So the highlights:

Karina herself has sort of been overshadowed by her wretched progeny, although as the main combat mechanitor, she still gets the 'most likely to hold off a raid by herself' award. She's also the psychic, although neuroformers have been kinda rare, so like. She isn't great at it or anything.

Cupcake is the main craftswoman, but also a solid all-rounder, with her lowest skill at a respectable 7.94. She's been wielding an excellent monosword since shortly after she was old enough to walk. She's terrifying with that thing. She can also shoot EMP ball lightning, which is handy. As a weird awkward loser who's ridiculously powerful, she is possibly the most Yoshiko-like character I've had since the original.

Damage is, I mean, Damage. At some point somebody commented that she might be turning into some kinda god, and I have to agree. The giant cyborg snake thing makes her fast as fuck, including basically ignoring obstacles, and that legendary charge minigun makes her the leader in the 'lifetime damage dealt' stat by a wide margin. (85k or so.) Karina might be the one who can hold down the fort alone, but if anybody was going to hold off a raid single-handedly without bots, I think it'd be Damage.

Kitten is the miner, of course. She's also got Dwarven Grit making her take half damage, and can throw fireballs. She's also tiny and has Nimble, so like. She can run into melee with giant oni and fuck them up without getting hurt.

Scratch might look like a scruffy teenager, but that's just your prejudice speaking, and she's actually one of the most beautiful, persuasive people to ever live. She stacked genes for it and now her Negotiation Ability score is 237% and she gets 40% more on trade prices. The six arms make her a really fast worker, and she can also turn people to stone with her gaze, because. Why not.

Shorty has basically recovered from being dead at this point. The only real relic of it, beyond her orange skin, is the fact that she still doesn't have blood, and she's basically immune to getting shot. Which are both great traits to have. She's also tiny with Dwarven Grit. Once she's an experienced adult, she'll probably rival Damage and Kitten for the title of 'worst person to pick a fight with.' Her main issue being that she can only carry 11 kg of stuff, and armor is heavy, so she can barely even have weapons on her.

[lucalicatteart]

Finally finished my weird hanging painting thing (originally a secondhand partially-done 'paint by numbers' kit that I found at a thrift store and kept to repurpose lol)! Imagery somewhat based in my own worldbuilding projects, and text written in my constructed language for one of my fantasy species, but also vaguely inspired by old tapestries and illuminated manuscripts and etc. I've never been great at neat clean patterning or text, but it looks cool from afar, and I always enjoy making "props" or things that are somewhat like real objects that might could exist in my world. :0

(additional pictures/info under the readmore)

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Here's what it was originally! I probably didn't have to actually have a river running down the middle because it further makes the composition of the whole thing weird (various connected yet separate locations and things happening, instead of one unified event being portrayed), but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fully cover up the already existing paint that was there.. and I can also kind of justify it by going with a more "all the imagery is just symbolic so it doesn't have to make exact sense" approach lol.. How is one half of the grass green and the other is suddenly snowy? shhhh.. it's not literal.. shhh...

Made a vague sketch, then painted over it, and then added more distinct lines in black pen. Center image first and border second.

The very last thing was the text, which actually took forever to translate because my conlang is still only like.. partially done, and some of the grammar is not worked out exactly how I would like it to be, so a few sentences I had to think about for a long time before just going "eh, this is probably not how I would do it if I considered it more, but I'll go with it for now" lol . I also am not entirely satisfied with all of the characters for the writing system, but again, it's good enough for a quick project, it doesn't have to be 100% accurate and perfect because it's a fake language that nobody knows anyway lol.

I thought about breaking down the text and translation here like I have for some of the tidbits of Avirrekava (the language) in things I've posted in the past, but I think it would take too long and is not interesting to anyone but me ghghj, so for the sake of getting the post out quickly, I shall not spend an hour typing All That lol.

The general jist of the writing though is that it's just about the Avirre'thel being cast out from the other elves, after abandoning their magic for immortality as a means to truly attain perfection (an important concept in elven culture), the usual, blah blah blah, but how it's Actually A Good Thing, because the gods are wrong and immortality is Cool actually and they like the shitty frozen lands they were sent to, so it's fine that everyone else is being a Hater about it lol

Lastly, here's a few photos outside in the sun to TRY and show the gold detailing actually shimmering or showing up! It really doesn't come through in photos, but there's plenty of little golden spots to highlight light or Importance.

Mostly the fire, the pink sparkle that represents magic, the red drop that represents blood, the light behind Inaashi's hands and head (common symbol for the elven religion/one of their main gods, shout out to anyone who read the ancient elven religion post and recognized that lol), the sun, and the symbol for the Avirre'thel/country of Navyete at the very top. I did a few other gold bits, but they're not highlighted because they're Significant, more just that it looked more symmetrical to have some gold on the border too lol.

Other things of note: The animals are not actually significant to Avirre'thel culture really, I just wanted to put a cat and a bird because I like them lol. (I also wanted to have a few funny looking creatures, as I was slightly trying to go with the 'in some old medieval painting the anatomy and perspective is very weird' vibe, though I think some of the other parts of it look too Normal to pull it off entirely). Same with the four leaf clover, which means nothing in their culture - but these are the only areas where stuff was just added self-indulgently .

Bligabata (giant cabbage that grows along rivers in Navyete) making an appearance! The architecture of the building IS based on actual concepts for ancient elven/older Avirre'thel architecture and metalwork. The Avirre'thel who's turning away from Inaashi/elves/magic and collecting blood, is doing so in a Special Bowl, as is part of their culture (collecting it in the hands, or just in a normal vessel would be disrespectful, they have Specific Bowls which is the only thing blood can be kept in, etc.).

The figure that represents Jhevona (and thus, a closer connection to magic, celestial imagery, etc.) is in weird ugly teal, which is not necessarily a color or design associated with them, as I don't have much common culture (like clothing) worked out for Northern Jhevona (who the avirre'thel would have come into contact with) yet, BUT everyone else is in more Typical colors (a northern elf in green, Inaashi in lavender + white + blue, an Avirre'thel in darker purples and reds).

Some things, like the four figures in the corners, and the two people + fish in the stream, do not currently have a meaning, but in-world they would.. Like, I could make up lore for how they're culturally significant and it would be true because I am god of the world, but I don't have anything currently. But just know.. they DO mean something, I just haven't decided it yet, maybe kind of fill in as I go, come up with a meaning later lol. Probably along the lines of an old myth from the ancient elven religion, a story, etc.

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I don't know, probably other stuff, but that's my Trying To Keep It Short rambling for now lol. I'm just glad I finally finished this! For how vaguely sloppy it is up close (everything being completely freehanded, only used rulers once when doing the initial sketch and lining where the border should be + my hands are shaky + the canvas is bumpy + my handwriting is scratchy and terrible + etc. etc.) it still took a REALLY long time, even when not trying to make it all perfect. Especially if including the text translation + writing, which took like 3+ hours itself.

Maybe all the asymmetry/lack of things being centered is NOT because I was too lazy to measure anything, but is actually because in-universe, it's a practice illustration made by some young apprentice who has to work on little canvases for years before he can be trusted will a full sized mural or tapestry. It's his first week on the job! of course he's uncoordinated! don't laugh at him!!! lol

[elvenbeard]

I finally sat down and played Reed's path in Phantom Liberty and HOLY shit. Spoilers below the cut just in case köahsdföahdsf

MAN. I was like, 95% unspoilered for everything, the only things I knew was: you gotta fight against Kurt, there is a scene in So Mi's apartment, some Cynosure fuckery, and I had seen gifs of So Mi in the core at the end (and deducted HM. she isn't looking to good, I feel like this is an ending where she dies).

But so so so many things came unexpected and got me so damn good!! I had fun fighting against Kurt, his little knife-throwing sequences (though I still wouldve loved a peaceful solution more than this XD a third path where you side with him or sth like that). I did not expect that we'd be fucking with MaxTac alsködhfasf that little bit was so fun, from setting up to having to fight them (though I also really struggled with that at first, rightfully so xDD).

The level design of the Cynosure was amaaaazing, the creepy horror vibes, the voices the jumpscares aödshfasf I loved that so much. I was not at all prepared for the Cerberus mech, that was mean af xD But so fun, gameplay-wise, so creepy, too. I ate up the lore of the place (and how insane that something like this exists under NC - and how much more similar shit must exist as well for other corporations??).

How the apartment sequence was done blew my whole mind, the transition between the bunker and the apartment, the little flashbacks, and how everything slowly crumbled and fell apart. I love that you can hug So Mi ;___; and man, I was crying so much at the end, the pain... but the only thing that felt right in that moment was killing her and giving her her freedom, and it was so raw and gentle and horrible all at the same time (also V's reaction was ;____; aaaahhh my boy).

I loved that we got a chance to shit-talk Myers XD And that, after all that in the end, Reed may finally find his freedom too and get away from the FIA for good!! I was adskhföasf so feral about his and Vince's parallels again, losing everything and being forced to start over. I loved his line that went like "thanks to you I have a choice now, something I haven't had in a long time". And man, I hope he uses his chance to get as far away from Myers and Washington and all that crap as he can, while he still can (just how that whole experience has deterred Vince from wanting to go back to Arasaka for good xD).

Overall though, I gotta say. I felt like the villain the whole time xD From betraying So Mi (still so obsessed that the options are called "Betray XYZ", not "Side with XYZ" which I've seen much more commonly in games with choices - It's a small detail but it makes such a difference in tone!!), to chasing her down all along it always felt wrong xD I'm glad at least towards the end there were some dialogue options that went away from the patronizing "we just wanna safe you" and "this is all for your best", and felt more human again.

So, for Vince's canon, if he goes through with PL from start to finish, he would rather betray Reed - and in return be betrayed by So Mi in the end aöshdajshf but yeah. Immersion and story-wise, her path felt more true to what he would do, even though I liked the outcome for Reed a lot in this. (and I guess that's really where the main difference lies in the end in all the choices, who gets to live and have their freedom in the end, and how much V is willing to sacrifice).

Also, since I went down the path of not handing So Mi over this time and not unlocking the new ending, instead I got new Mr. Blue-Eyes headcanons material O.O aksdfahsöf highly recommend looting the Cerberus mech and crafting the Cyberdeck in the "Unknown Number" related quest after the credits, in case you always wanted two more or less creepy talking constructs in your head xD

[animehouse-moe]

Mobile Suit Gundam - The Witch From Mercury S2 Episode 11: Unrelenting Tenderness

Ah, nothing like being stressed out for an entire episode as to whether or not Suletta will succumb to the high permet score, or if Guel will end up killed by Lauda or kill another family member, or if our Elan will go off and die like the others, or this that and the other thing, all to get faked out for the real danger/moment. Incredible work on the episode that skirts around a more high level narrative to instead approach characters head on to unify them for this "final" episode to come, so certainly lots to talk about!

Well actually, sort of unexpectedly, the episode starts with a Calibarn vs Aerial fight that's showing off to the max. Of course, Suletta and Eri are having their chat about ideals and what's right/what they should be doing, but I'm pretty sure most people understand what's going on, so I'll just share how absolutely cool the fighting is for these scenes.

The pacing is wild, and given the scale of the combat, I think the decision to take the objects further away from the viewer so details matter less was a great idea. It allows for incredible pace in the fight without worry of being perfect, or taking absolute ages to complete. Plus, the way the fight's constructed in three dimensional space, you still get close ups and flybys past the camera that allow you a closer glimpse into the combat. Just really, really well orchestrated combat for the feel that was desired of it.

Similarly, I love how well designed the combat style of the Calibarn is. If you notice through the sequence, Suletta isn't actually retaliating against the Gund Bits at all, rather she's purely evading them. As you'd expect of Calibarn. It's main form of movement is also its source of combat power as the, as I like to call it, "broomstick" is used for high powered propulsion through the fight. And I think that's a super cool idea for a design, especially with how this episode show it off.

But anyways, the fight rages on as Lauda engages with Guel, the Earth House + Elan + Bel, and Felsi all sortie to enter the fray as we cut to the opening.

Following the opening, and a bit more dancing around with various characters to establish where they are/what they're doing, the data storm of Quiet Zero suddenly begins to wane/fail. This is a really cool piece that reminds viewers of where Quiet Zero began. Under the supervision of Miorine's mother Notrette. It also reminds viewers about the fact that Delling Rembran continued the Quiet Zero project in secrecy, but disavowed the existence of Gundams. Anyways, I present to you the notion that Notrette still exists in the Data Storm, and that she's the one interfering with Prospera and Eri. Ericht's frustration in regards to the data storm stalling out are directed at someone, nothing something, but another person that shares a similar goal/ideal to Ericht. Prospera's comment on pest control. It all implies a lot of things, and there's not many others that would check enough boxes aside from Notrette.

We temporarily shift from Quiet Zero towards a very interesting conversation with the Space Assembly League. Given what we've known with the last while in regards to the league, I wouldn't say it was expected, but it was certainly a possibility that they would stick their nose into the situation in full. What I find most interesting about it is how much this opens up the world of GWitch. The existence of a massive space laser that's a "tool for transferring energy", and the idea that civil unrest and discord still exists on Earth, coupled with the fact that Shaddiq's character arc hasn't actually been concluded. There's a lot of moving pieces that say, "but we're not done yet!", so I'm very curious to see what comes from their involvement and the various politics surrounding the league as well as Earth.

Now, onto the most nerve-wracking and stressful part of the episode: Lauda vs Guel. My heart was in my throat this whole time. The conversation, the Gundam vs Mobile Suit, the flashback. So much of it. I'd been stressed since we saw Lauda show up in the last episode, and they certainly drew it out in today's, but the character development for Lauda in particular was outstanding.

The whole idea of the being the younger brother that just wanted to stand beside his sibling but never could rings so clearly with his words. That Guel chose Miorine over his own brother, that Guel killed their father and never told Lauda, that Guel left Lauda just as quickly as he returned. All he wants is the big brother that accepted him all those years ago, the big brother that give him the gift of a family, someone to look up to, someone to go running to when times were tough. It's an incredibly emotional piece that builds off of Guel's similar encounter with his father. It had me so scared. Going back into Lauda's memories to find Guel hug and accept Lauda, and then returning to see Guel's Dilanza embrace Lauda's Schwarzette in the same way as sparks fly and you sense the end of Guel.

I'll never forgive GWitch for scaring me that badly, but thank God Felsi had already rocketed out in her mobile suit to break up the fight. But yeah, Gigabob continues his tear of being the best boy this season, and brings his little brother Lauda under his wing finally. Incredible piece that gives Guel the chance to right the wrongs of his past with his father, and to step into the light with his burden lightened.

So with the most nerve-wracking sequence finished, we return to Earth House and Co who have infiltrated Quiet Zero and are trying to shut it down. It's tense and high stakes, and there's great moments like Bel standing up to Prospera, who represents the sins that Bel herself bears.

The real moment though is Miorine (and Notrette to a degree). Miorine is tasked with inputting the shut down code for Quiet Zero, which was originally 'Quod Erat Demonstrandum', or in the literal translation 'What Was To Be Shown'. Typically, it's used at the end of math proofs as a way to conclude them, so an interesting addition in the form of originally 'concluding' Quiet Zero while staying true to Notrette's penchant for latin phrases.

Of course, Prospera changed the code so it doesn't work, but like Eri hinted at earlier, Notrette isn't completely gone, and is still helping her daughter Miorine by providing a backdoor to which only she would know the answer: part of the genetic code of the tomatoes that her mother left behind. A really sweet piece that speaks to Notrette's love for Miorine, but also like I said further proves the existence of her within Quiet Zero/the Data Storm.

Truthfully, I think the introduction of Notrette via the data storm helps bring Suletta (and by extension Prospera) and Miorine closer as lead characters. Giving them something that's been lost, and that they struggle with through similar aspects allows them to be placed on equal footing while providing different approaches/ understandings to their unique situations.

But anyways, Quiet Zero gets shut down and the Benerit Group/Earth House/sorta Space Assembly League succeeds in their goal of defeating it. But the Space Assembly League at the top has a different idea, as they turn that weapon on Quiet Zero and fire, leaving Eri on her own to protect everyone.

I really like this piece, specifically because it's Eri's decision. It's Ericht moving to protect her mother and her little sister, and their friends and family. It's not Eri acting for the sake of Prospera, or under her order or wishes, it's one of the few scenes where Eri acts under her own agency and desire. And within that, it's incredibly ironic that she ends up destroyed.

And our episode ends here. Aerial destroyed, Quiet Zero shut down, no defenses, no protections as they stare down the barrel of the universe's most dangerous weapon.

A dire situation, one that seems to have little hope of surviving for our characters involved, but let me show you these details first.

Starting off with Prospera, her permet pattern is different. The shape is decidedly different from the usual that we see from all the other pilots/characters. Alongside that, she's not actually piloting or directly interacting with a Gundam or anything, so it shouldn't be visible in the first place. So why can we see it, and why is it different? Well, for one, she seems to use it as a way to connect/interact with Ericht and Aerial, but more than that I feel it's connected to Carbo Nado and Prospera's past with her that was teased in the prologue.

Secondly, I think it's easy to forget how Suletta refers to Aerial/Ericht, and how we're shown the girl/Gundam. Suletta commonly uses 'Miina' to refer to Aerial and her Gund Bits, which means "everyone". Suletta sees, experiences, and understands Aerial as a multitude of Ericht's, and we see them that way as well. Even in this episode we see several Ericht's that take the place/form of Gund Bits.

And if you pay attention to the wreckage, you'll notice that some of the Gund Bits from Aerial are still intact, floating around Suletta and Calibarn.

So I'm sure most know what this means, but Eri is still alive. Aerial is gone, but Ericht lives on through her Gund Bits, and will ultimately integrated with Suletta and Calibarn to form a defense against the Giant Space Laser ™️.

And that's the end of the episode, this time. For sure. Definitely. I'm really quite interested to see what they do with this final upcoming episode though. There's the potential to expand the scope of GWitch to place further focus on Earth through the Space Assembly and Shaddiq, but there's also the opportunity to call it a day with the final episode with whatever the outcome may be from that. It's a good position to find themselves in, and I think I'll be relatively satisfied with whatever they do there. So many character arcs have been resolved, and goals reached between them all. But it also doesn't mean there's an entire world for them to explore out there, for new challenges to arise or progression to be made, particularly with characters like Shaddiq and Miorine. Only time will tell though, and with a countdown of one week, we won't be left waiting long to find out.