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tathrin · 2 years ago

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No one:

My Brain: okay so the Drinking Game in RotK is sort of funny yet also extremely dumb but consider, instead of what the movie gave us where we’re supposed to believe that Thranduil’s son has never seen alcohol and GImli is just the butt of every joke again, okay, what if we have a situation where Gimli, who is a clever-tongued little bastard who is not at all above getting one over on Éomer whenever he can (he insulted the Lady Galadriel!!!) just because he agreed to put the larger issue on hold until Éomer actually meets her—what if Gimli sets him up, right, by taking advantage of the fact that he knows Mirkwood elves don’t have any interest in ale, which means the odds are good that the pointy-eared princeling who’d never been more than ten yards from home before going to Rivendell has surely never drunk ale before.

But the way Gimli very deliberately phrases things makes Éomer think he’s never drunk at all before, so Éomer agrees to a drinking contest between him and Legolas, who has no idea what’s going on but is participating anyway because hey sometimes mortals are weird and he’s trying to be a good sport and his friend seems really excited for him to try ale, so sure, let’s have a drinking contest with Éomer I guess??? and Éomer gets his ass drunk so hard under the table that they’re going to need shovels to dig him out, and Gimli is chortling to himself the whole time because he knew exactly what was going to happen when Legolas Thranduilion, used to drinking strong Dorwinion wine in elvish quantities and nobody parties like the elves of Mirkwood; they party like they’re going to war because in Mirkwood, being happy basically is a way of waging war against the Shadow, okay, so Gimli figured the odds that Legolas could hold his liquor were pretty damn high, got into a drinking game with a mere mortal, and he completely set Éomer up...

And when it’s done, and they’ve scraped Éomer up off the floor, Legolas just shrugs and is like “so I guess ale’s not bad, but nobody will be offended if I say I still like my dad’s wines more, right?” and Éomer is all. wait. wait. wine? WHAT WINE? You sneaky inhuman FUCKS—! while Gimli asphyxiates himself laughing and Legolas just stands there slightly tipsy and wondering when somebody is going to explain what the fuck just happened.

EDIT: Thank you! I’m glad it made someone more than just me laugh. Here’s the whole scene if you want it.

#we're also taking advantage of the fact that orlando bloom apparently never knew what was going on during filming #so like...he doesn't even need to act in this scene is what i'm saying he's not SUPPOSED to know what's happening (i'm clever)#anyway that was part of the bizarre dream i mentioned a few days ago #but i thought this moment in particular stood out as something the fandom would enjoy so: pls enjoy #legolas #gimli #eomer #lotr #my stuff #lotr movies #alcohol #the lotr time travel revision dream #my writing

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dinosaurjam · 7 years ago

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tagged by: @thetasteoffire

1. How many works in progress do you have?

A YA novel that’s currently in the outlining phase of its first major revisions. A short story on deck for editing and revising. A novel that’s probably NA (new adult, which I know is a category some people quibble about but tbh I find it really useful as a distinction) that’s in worldbuilding/character work/planning stages that I am NOT allowed to start writing-writing until my first project is in a more “done” state and out on query at least. And I’m always lowkey thinking about my fantasy trilogy and trying to figure out the pacing of the second two books that I’ll write some-fucking-day.

2. Do you/would you write fan fiction?

I have, I would, I’m sure I will again. Never so frequently as I did in middle and high school, though.

3. Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

I prefer paper but love the portability of ebooks when I’m traveling if I want several books with me. I also love getting library books as ebooks because I am TERRIBLE about taking my books back on time, and ebooks just disappear when your borrowing period is up, so I don’t feel as bad.

4. When did you start writing?

I don’t remember putting specific effort or purpose to it until I was around eleven.

5. Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

My sister @froth has always been the number-one cheerleader of my writing and I am so so so grateful for that. Especially with my YA novel in progress, she’s been so insightful and helpful in finding weak spots and throwing out ideas and helping make characters shine. I love love love sharing writing with and bouncing ideas off C., who is like... an idea machine and super plugged in to the human condition in a way that I love for my fiction, so his perspective is always great. @thedrunkensatyr is always hella supportive, and a couple friends without tumblrs provide both needed critique and excited delight. Also @thetasteoffire your answer made me realize I haven’t bounced my writing off you in forever and now I have Guilt, ahaha.

6. Where is your favorite place to write?

God I don’t know if I have one right now. I like going to a local tea house sometimes; I can hole up there without internet and drink a pot of tea and just focus for a couple hours. I guess my desk, because it’s the most focused spot I have at home, and I have my inspiration/etc. board in front of me there. If, like @thetasteoffire suggested, this means what place do I most like to write ABOUT, it’s probably the setting of my fantasy trilogy - both that specific location and the larger world it’s set in (hey @froth did you know HYR and SUTW are in the same world but on different continents and a couple hundred years apart?).

7. Favorite book as a child?

The Animorphs series, far and away. If we’re talking grade school age, I loved this book called Fig Pudding. I still think it’s an exemplary kids’ novel. If we’re skewing older, I started reading LotR and The Hobbit when I was thirteen and fell in love. Also Spindle’s End, The Hero and the Crown, and Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley.

8. Writing for fun or publication?

Yes.

9. Have you taken any writing classes?

One actual class and a few workshops. None were quite as nitty-gritty as in hindsight I wish they’d been, but I learned some neat stuff and did some interesting work for the creative nonfiction class I took.

10. What inspired you to write?

I know this is such a basic answer but honestly, I’ve always loved stories, and I’ve always made up stories in my head, and I wanted to tell them. Beyond that - I love inventing worlds, I love dreaming up characters, and I love the complexity of human beings.

I’m tagging @thedrunkensatyr and anyone else, if you so desire, no pressure from me man.

#dinosaurjam writes things #is that the tag?#i don't even know omg it's been so long since i used it #personal

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lilbooktopus · 7 years ago

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Cursed: The Hunter Inside

Author: Casey Millette Synopsis: Cursed: The Hunter Inside tells the tale of Aldor, the son of a hero called Rowan, who leaves his hometown to start on an adventure of his own. He seeks his renown, slaying dragons and traveling to dangerous land with a band of men to retrieve a weapon of immense power, Haran’s Stone.

Date Started: January 26, 2018 Date Finished: January 30, 2018

First Impression: This novel is riddled with grammar errors and misspelled/unnecessary words that are impossible to ignore even if this is just an ARC. (Case in point: You don’t need to go far. Look at the promotional poster/cover. “A league of friends will become heroes in the faces of monsters.” It should have been “in the face of...”. It’s an idiom, look it up.) Moreover, it’s not just the typos. It’s the flow of the story that makes me wish this could have been edited further.

Book Talk:

Inconsistent Tone

I was imagining this is set in a medieval Europe setting but then someone says “Oh my gosh”.

Bad Prologue

This section should have introduced an event so significant that it will later affect the whole plot. The only effect of the prologue to the whole story is Aldor losing his father and the town being peaceful since then. Too peaceful, in fact, that Aldor soon becomes bored with it and leaves to seek his fortune.

Unbelievable Survival Skills

Aldor is able to survive mortal wounds and journey for two weeks (duration of travel from Dagon to Alyeth and vice versa). By mortal wounds I mean rotting arm oozing with pus, so bad that the muscles are peeling off, and torn skin and muscle at the back from twenty lashes. Note that these wounds have been described to be fatal by the author herself. She made sure we know the intensity of each. When you do that it is impossible to ignore the consequences bought by each injury. Things like these tend to fester and cause blood loss, fever and delirium which would stop anyone from being able to travel for a few days, much less for two weeks.

Plus, whenever the protagonists are in a tight spot, for some reason, they immediately figure out riddles and puzzles! Or maybe it’s just the fact that the riddles aren’t challenging at all... Like the puzzles that lead to Philosopher’s Sto--- I mean Haran’s Stone.

Lazy Descriptions

One rule often invoked when it comes to writing, especially in fantasy settings as this, is show, don’t tell. “Oddly Viking-like” to describe a large man is one of the laziest I could find here.

There was also “elf-like”. Nothing about the way the character was described made me think of an elf. I was thinking more of a hobbit especially when Willcome’s feet was described as having fur-like hair on his toes.

Bad Phrasing

Here comes one of my favorites, in which Aldor is in love with a horse. Like, in love:

“There was one animal in particular that had stolen his heart. Its name was Dawn, a massive, black horse. As Aldor walked through the market, admiring all the goods, he beheld the animal of his dreams. Every time he entered the stables, a trickle of cold (sweat) seemed to douse his sense(s) when(ever) Dawn would look him in the eye. Slightly wistful, Aldor kept walking.”

There are better ways to admire horses. I know you’ve read LotR as some characters in your novel are so similar to the ones in JRRT’s books (Willcome = Tom Bombadil/Radagast?), I think Shadowfax was described well enough without sounding like anyone was in love with a horse… er, romantically. For other examples, see Harry Potter admiring the Nimbus Two Thousand and the Firebolt.

Shallow/Inconsistent Characterization

There is no depth to any of Millette’s characters. Everyone has one trait. Example, Aldor is too heroic, Keira is… to heroic. Gregory is too sarcastic. Oh maybe not one trait each, as everyone is also stupid. And please stop making other characters say about another “You’re too kind to a fault” or “too heroic for your own good” without even enough instances to make them conclude that.

Also, there will often be instances that characters get motivation to do things from an as-of-then unintroduced character/event. Example, Dale’s morale is often boosted by the mention of "Ace”. Gregory’s distrust towards a guardian is from a wizard destroying his family. But the reasons behind these motivations are not introduced beforehand. So imagine my confusion when Gregory starts to spout unfounded accusations at Willcome. I went like, “How could you say that?” Or when Jasper yells “Ace wouldn’t want you to do that!” or something like that to Dale, I was thinking, “Who the hell is Ace?” And the worse thing is, these mystery people/reasons don’t ever get explained. How are we supposed to sympathize with a character’s anger or sadness or joy when we do not understand where it’s coming from?

Why is every girl in this book, namely, Keira and Marie, want to “be brave” aka go slay things? And “being brave” is always equated to manly stuff, like, slaying things. Keira is insufferably stupid, not brave. She calls people who make plans before they charge at live, fire-breathing dragons cowards, and charges straight into the beast despite having zero battle skills! She jumps right in front of every danger without thinking, without preparation, without capacity to do anything! And the author seems to glorify acts. Keira also throws a knife straight to a bad guy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to throw a knife with a path? Or to learn how to wield a sword?

Both Aldor and Dale claim to not be team players but instantly makes friends with everyone.

Instalove

Oh how I hate instalove. For some reason, Aldor and Keira fall in love with each other without even enough interaction except going to a dragon’s lair together, in which they don’t even learn enough of each other to even be friends. And Aldor claims he is not the friend-making type.

Stuff I didn’t bother to classify

Search Party - The king sends a search party (with him in it) the very night Aldor and Keira slays a dragon as if he expected the task to be done so soon

Keira’s knowledge of the terrain NEAR THE DRAGON’S LAIR despite her being cooped up in the castle for basically forever

The king allowing his daughter to join suicide quests despite knowing she doesn’t have an ounce of training and telling Aldor to protect her. I mean, I was pretty sure the king hates Keira secretly and is actually planning to feed her to the dragon because there can’t be no other reason to let someone so ill-equipped near a dangerous beast! And with a stranger! And then you let her go on a quest everyone calls a suicide mission!

The shortcut out of the desert and back to Alyeth that Dale knows, which, for some reason, he did not bring up when they were travelling from Alyeth to Haran’s Desert

Everyone saying they are willing to die for Aldor, a guy they have never been on a quest before the one they’re banding up for

Bringing weak teammates. By that I mean everyone. All everyone does is complain about the heat, the lack of water, the traps, all the hardships

No one took “suicide mission” seriously even though they kept on throwing the term around

Aldor being melodramatic about everything, how these people depend on him, how he broke his promise to protect Keira, how something as beautiful as Keira lies broken at the foot of a dragon, ashes on her long lashe---- GEEZ, YOU’RE BATTLING A DRAGON AND YOU HAVE TIME TO NOTE HOW LONG HER LASHES ARE?!?

A lot of useless characters and events. Or maybe they aren’t entirely useless. Maybe they will appear on the next books but the way they are tied to the rest of the novel is not seamless.

Final Verdict:

Sadly, this book seems like it was written in a hurry although I think I’ve read she has been writing this since she was twelve and she’s sixteen now... I didn’t like it from the very beginning up til the very end. It wasn’t neat, tone was bland, characters weren’t memorable at all. I don’t see the point of the plot. Needs major revision aka plot overhaul. Total rewrite.

Rating: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ (0.9 out of 5)

#casey millette #cursed: the hunter inside #young adult novel #(reviews from the deep)#cursed: the hunter inside review #parliamenthousepress #(below one starfish)

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