#the longest post ever? mayhaps?

[shima-draws]

Hiya!! I saw you were having a hard time, so I'm here to distract you from the things!! >7<)/

Who was your first OC? What did they look like, mayhaps try to redesign/redraw them side by side!

I hope things get better for you soon!!

Aw thank you!!! 🥰

My first OC was either Shima or Riku, I can't remember for sure who came first but they've been with me the longest

And yeah I've redesigned them both lots of times already! I have a habit of redesigning OCs once every few years lol

First art I EVER posted of them? I had to dig into my old DeviantART account to find this, this is from 2011 holy SHIT?? Have I really been on the internet for that long? Anyway old art jumpscare warning

Aww. Baby Shima art <3

This was before Riku actually got a human form, he actually started out as a Pokemon OC that was like. A weird genetic mutation of Pikachu? Uncreative little me called him Rare Pikachu LMAO or RP for short. Neat bit of lore, when I eventually repurposed him to become Riku I kept those same initials. Riku Promethera = RP :") Just a callback to his origins <3 He's always been Shima's partner tho since the beginning which makes me really emo honestly

Anyway here have 10+ years of Shima and Riku art

Shima's hair has gotten noticeably pinker but her actual hair style has stayed relatively the same after the very first redesign. God it used to be so DARK and way browner but I think the pink fits the palette very well :"D

And Riku...I used to strictly adhere to the black color scheme but I think the new one with the earthy tones suits him perfectly since he's a land elemental!

Also I need to draw him pathetic and covered in blood again. Tbh.

[alicenpai]

🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

---

i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

---

this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

---

and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

---

fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

---

administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

---

merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

[sandorara]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Oh, this is so nice! And incredibly difficult, which has made me feel nice. Can you believe I have so many works I'm still pleased with that it was difficult to choose? What a pleasant feeling.

Anyway, in chronological order of posting, starting from the most recent. I've decided not to choose unfinished ones or co-authored pieces, so we're going decently far back right from the start.

1. See you in Eorzea - Yizhan & FF14, 69k, E I (M 28) picked up someone (M 2x) in a video game and I think they might be famous. Please advise.

Famous/non-famous MMORPG AU, meet cute in Sastasha. My longest work ever when I wrote it, and it was completed before posting anything. Still really happy with it, and, Yoshi-p should pay me royalties for how many converts it's created. I'm confident you do not need to know yizhan to enjoy it, if you would like to give it a try 💕

2. For the future you (the one without me) - Yizhan, 6.4k, T “Why Singapore?,” she’d asked him once, and he’d not known how to answer. An exploration of what may lie outside the few minutes the Vogue Film offered.

Inspired by a Vogue shortfilm Wang Yibo starred in, link to it can be found in the a/n of the fic. 9 minutes, very aesthetically worth it. I'm really happy with the atmosphere of this work, and I feel like it's very representative of my shorter, fleetier, ever bittersweet style. Am proud still. 🥺

3. Written, never said - cql - lwj & mianmian, wangxian, 6.6k, G ”I have a letter to deliver to young lady Luo Qingyang. It has arrived from Gusu today, with the quickest delivery.”

Thirteen years of correspondence, understanding and friendship.

My Mianmian and LWJ friendship agenda. Epistolary fic covering the years of WWX's death through Mianmian's eyes on the letters she receives and writes. I'm still happy with how this one conveys what I wanted to say. I'm pleased with it stylistically. And they deserved that friendship, IT WAS THERE, OK.

4. Sensations - ffxiv - wolexarch, 4.7k E ”Make it hurt, please,” he’d finally whispered, as each day, more of his body was being eaten away by the crystal, leaving him missing touch in places he did not know he’d wanted it.

A stand-alone AU within my wolfic series in which G'raha's crystallisation speeds up after the events of 5.0 and the completion of his mission. and with it comes loss of sensation. This one came to be when my dear friend @draiochteve prompted me to write "soft knifeplay". I love the bittersweet desperation and love I managed to convey in this one, and, I just want you to take note of the publication date: This was posted exactly a year before the release of patch 5.3. 😌

5. Nothing more than a willing substitute - ffxiv, asahi/zenos, 4.3k, E He would do anything to please his beloved Prince.

Oldest one here and I will admit I'm impressed that I still think it's worthy of this list, five years later. One of my first 14 fics, and definitely the most wretched thing I had ever written at the time. Mayhap one may call it my descent into the filth-pit. Asahi just made me feral, and it worked out. My dear gf @g0g0mi just desrcibed this one as "iconic", so. Unrecruited obsession love, swordplay, bondage, choking... there are things. IDK. My brand started here, OK. And, I think it still holds up. 😎

Thank you for letting me do this, it was quite the mood-boost! Will pass it on. 😊

[ask-the-dweets]

I posted 934 times in 2022

That's 485 more posts than 2021!

514 posts created (55%)

420 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jakebark

@dbd-ghostface-roman

@bloodsoakedogre

@askgogglessteve

@ask-the-scrapper

I tagged 923 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#rp - 269 posts

#pizza dwight - 235 posts

#fancy dwight - 229 posts

#ask the dweets - 200 posts

#elf dwight - 193 posts

#killer event - 193 posts

#dweets to text - 176 posts

#killer dweets - 176 posts

#jake bark - 101 posts

#killer!fancy - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters ((*wheezing* I can't believe this is the longest one afjsbgekrlgbalkgj))

#also how the heck do i say that he's supposed to sit in fancy's lap/between his legs without it sounding absolutely terrible >:(

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hooked on You Dweets!!

Attempted to emulate the style of HoY for the boys, pretty happy with the final product. There was an attempt.

The struggle was definitely real, this took over 10hrs to make

HoY blog event for 400 followers mayhaps? could maybe make it dating sim-esque  🤔 unsure. Would definitely let you guys boss them around anyways and have them a little more OOC to fit with HoY lol  I wouldn’t be emulating the style again though, too much work x_x

166 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#4

You know Dwight, ever motivational~

212 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#3

Long Dwight

God the old models sure do have some janky anatomy, especially those long torsos XD Sorry Dwight... It’s pretty bad

220 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

#2

Fix your collar you dweeb

They’re so cute!!! 😭

497 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Did I stutter?"

He's gay AND European!!! 🎉🥳🎉

I love it!! Had to take the opportunity to draw him in his new skin and add the new pride charm too! (use code pride2022 to get it)

747 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[speciosuspoematis]

@dxvotionis || LIKED for a POST-HW Starter

"What part of this is supposed to be honourable? What part of this should I be proud of -?" Rhetorical questions spat with a remarkable amount of venom, Cyvel sits currently in a mood far from his usual extended gentleness. Uncomfortable and in constant pain, half-healed and stitched together, the poet appears immensely pale and exhausted - dark circles beneath his eyes speaking volumes of his lacking rest and perished sleep.

'T is little wonder, really, that he appears so: with grevious wounds that had almost claimed his life weighing heavy he also faces intensive mourning for his dear brother, and the constant vicious barking of his ailing father. Each day was filled with both physical and mental pain, emotional agony, uncertainty... And now he sits, visiting Zephirin, with a mix of emotions yet gnawing at his chest deep beneath hidden bandages.

He bites his tongue, attempts to toss aside the disgust he has for his own home and city in turn and instead glances towards his company - his dear brothers closest and longest friend, superior and confidant. 'T is bittersweet, for Cyvel is glad for his survival... But mayhap further hurt that his brother had not had such luck.

"--- I feel no pride nor glory for my forced servitude to the Convictory. I feel no honour for the fact my life was almost stolen from me. I feel bitter that it had ever come to it... That so many still regarded as children had thought it the best way they could have spent their lives. " He shakes his head, ignores his cup of tea with thanks to nausea, and heavens a rather emotional sigh." - - - how did you do it? Face all of that, constantly? "

[myownlittlehell]

Wow I'm Not Dead Have Art

Hi. I know it's been a long time since I've posted or even really been on here. I've been going through the longest art block I've ever been through, for a moment I though I could never finish a piece. Throughout all of that, I'm beyond grateful for the attention my pieces of art has recieved. The response I got is more than I could imagine really! I'm so grateful that people like my stuff, and it definetely helped give me the motivation to push through this. I hope to make more art in the future, but I do wanna try to be on here even if I'm not posting art. Maybe show off my shiny Pokemons mayhaps? Until then, here's a bit of an updated sona of mine!

With and Without Effects!

[bug13underscore]

I posted 3,415 times in 2022

That's 1,533 more posts than 2021!

17 posts created (0%)

3,398 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@metaorigin

@scrollypoly

@wr0temyway0ut

@cheesyygarlicbread

@caissymax

I tagged 571 of my posts in 2022

#toh spoilers - 38 posts

#babble tag - 19 posts

#keep tag - 17 posts

#the owl house - 13 posts

#toh - 11 posts

#ref tag - 10 posts

#my art - 6 posts

#hunter toh - 4 posts

#amity blight - 4 posts

#gus porter - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i’ve tried it but 1) not a big seafood person 2) i don’t like seaweed 3) don’t like avocado 4) don’t like a mix of lots of different texture

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

has anyone pointed out how at the end of COH we see Hunter, Gus and Willow on an air ship. do we remember the last time we saw the 3 of them on an air ship together? potential foreshadowing mayhaps

25 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#4

contemplating posting my little storyboard-esque doodle for a little Huntlow scene i’d like to see in s3

33 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#3

yknow Murph’s line of “this is all temporary” and his characters whole premise being after his happily ever after and changing back into a frog because of losing his wife, wouldn’t “this is all temporary” be a more horrifying line to his character? like imagine him on the defensive (as he was when he first said it) and then it dawning on him and him going “…this is all temporary.” i think once he has that moment that will be a huge character arc moment because yeah everything is temporary, that’s why what we do in the moment matters so much because it effects the now and can make bigger ripples than if you just do nothing and “bravely flee”

34 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

#2

alright Huntlow nation eat up babes 💕

44 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i feel like i haven’t seen anyone talk about the mysterious benedict society on here, it’s like 100% a show that seems to be exactly the type that becomes a massive Tumblr hit why haven’t i heard of this before

54 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kittyrossa]

sometimes, fandom plays a game of telephone: fanon characterizations become so widespread that canon characterizations get lost in the chaos. this only increases when there are half-year gaps between new seasons, as that allows a lot of time for fanon to overshadow canon.

canon!keith is super overshadowed by fanon!keith. i’m going to clarify that, because i know some people may misread it as “yet another keith stan who can’t handle fandom talking about keith’s flaws.” that’s not what’s happening here. there is a difference between “let’s talk about keith’s flaws as they actually are in canon!” and “let’s act like fanon interpretations are 100% canon.”

keith is, without a doubt, one of the more guarded characters, which means he’s bound to be misinterpreted not only by fandom, but by the other characters! and that results in people taking those misinterpretations as fact instead of trying to unpack keith on their own. this skyrocketed after S2, because people had expected the galra!keith reveal to involve every character’s reaction. and when that didn’t happen, people were disappointed, because that’s what they’d been most looking forward to from the storyline.

and that’s fine! i’m not saying you can’t still want to see those reactions. but again, when there’s so much interest in How People Interpret Keith, there’s less interest in Interpreting Actual Keith.

since S2, fanon has watered keith down to a hotheaded emo who:

doesn’t care about being a team

doesn’t care about his teammates

only cares about himself and maybe shiro and is only ever out for himself and maybe shiro, ironically painting keith as the unfeeling monster all of that fanon galra!keith stuff argued against

it’s — frustrating. so if you’re up for it, i want to delve into keith’s canon characterizations in S1 and S2, and why S2 is literally about how much he cares for others + wants to connect to them and protect them! keith’s flaw is that he doesn’t always communicate that in ways that everyone understands, and that’s 100% something he’s going to have to work on. but S2 does show him willing to put in that work, even if there’s still more work to be done. and if you’re interpreting him from the baseline that he doesn’t care at all, you’re already missing half of his development.

i’m taking a detour back to S1 because some of the anti-S2!keith sentiment is like “S1!keith would never, i don’t know S2!keith, i only know S1!keith” when S1 actually sets up everything that S2!keith is and then has S2 challenge him on it, strengthen it, and hone it. in other words, it’s a basic character arc.

keith is Super Serious about being a paladin of voltron and has been from day one!

in the first ever episode, the team argues about whether they should stay and face sendak, or leave via wormhole. hunk and lance are on Team We’re Leaving and pidge and keith are on Team We’re Staying; pidge, specifically, says that the galra will capture more prisoners if they don’t stop them, and the audience and the characters eventually learn that she’s thinking of her own imprisoned family. keith does not have a comparable personal motive, which is made very clear when pidge shifts to Team I’m Leaving (to Find My Family) a few episodes later:

keith: you can’t leave!

pidge: you can’t tell me what to do!

keith: if you leave — we can’t form voltron. and that means we can’t defend the universe against zarkon. you’re not the only one with a family! all these arusians have families, everyone in the universe has families … you’re putting the lives of two people over the lives of everyone else in the entire galaxy —

shiro: keith! that’s not how a team works. people have to want to be a part of it, they can’t be forced.

shiro understands that this isn’t keith being an unfeeling monster: it’s keith wanting his teammates to be equally determined about their mission, and therefore not wanting the team to break apart. when pidge later realizes that she sees team voltron as a potential new family — that she wants to work together and “stop zarkon for all of our families” — keith smiles and says, genuinely, “good to have you back on the team.” hunk simultaneously realizes that he no longer wants to leave; that he wants to return to the balmera and save shay and her people. the fact that hunk and pidge need these personal motives to fully embody the mission doesn’t make them less noble than keith, nor does it make keith heartless. it just means that keith doesn’t need to literally see/bond with zarkon’s victims to be motivated to do the right thing. you can absolutely argue that shiro’s trauma gives keith that extra edge — extra determination to seek justice for what’s been done to someone so important to him — but keith is still motivated by the greater good itself.

(if you’re sitting there thinking “lmao but buddy, that’s probably going to change when shiro goes missing” — i am very aware of that risk, and it will be discussed in this post + my keith and shiro post! but for keith’s priorities to be tested, they have to start from a different place to begin with, right? and that’s what this scene with pidge sets up: that to begin with, keith is able to prioritize the greater good over personal motives and feelings. we’ll see what happens when he’s in pidge’s position!)

i know i just said it, but since this is where fanon loses its grasp on him, i feel like i REALLY need to stress that being motivated by the greater good does not make keith heartless. keith can prioritize the greater good and STILL care about people. in fact, he’s pretty openly into bonding with them, whether they’re teammates or the allies they meet along the way (and these are just S1 examples):

a good place to start is the red lion itself! red may not be a “person”, but the lions are sentient magical beings that form connections with their paladins that cannot be explained by science alone. keith is the last paladin to find his lion, and he’s anxious about it enough to ask the others for guidance, and they all chime in, even lance. keith is also obviously anxious when shiro tells keith to go on ahead — “by myself?” — further underlining that keith isn’t as Lone Wolf as he may superficially appear. as his frustration grows, he relies on shiro’s “patience yields focus” to calm himself down and zone in on red, and once he gets there, he’s all smiles. “it’s me, keith! open up.” red doesn’t, not immediately, so cue the frustration again: “it’s me — keiiiiith, your — I AM YOUR PALADIN!” this is one of those blatant examples of how keith may not exactly be the smoothest talker — he’s what most would consider socially awkward — but his intent is very much to bond; to work as a team. “I’M BONDING WITH YOU! come on, we’re connected!” you even see him try to knock like lance did to open up blue’s barrier, revealing how much keith watches people and absorbs their methods. he’s an adaptable learner and fighter, passionate and relentless, and this is what gets red to finally open up.

“it’s been an honor flying with you, boys!” — despite only having a close relationship with shiro, keith says this to all of them when it looks like they’re on the brink of death. when the mission ends up a success, he’s thrilled: “heck yeah we did!” to shiro’s “we did it!” keith is not at all hesitant to embrace teamwork. he’s committed to it during the bonding/training exercises — he’s only distracted by a) shiro freezing up in front of the gladiator, keith running to shield and protect him; and b) lance’s rivalry-fueled goading. he tries to stay level-headed and keep lance focused on what’s important (working together): “just concentrate on keeping me safe” + “you’re not listening”; but keith totally caves when lance challenges him during the nosedive exercise, speeding up to match lance and beat him — which may not necessarily be “bonding” in the sense of them now being best friends forever with matching friendship bracelets, but it does show keith’s capability to lose his grip on being Super Serious to give into something fairly light and ridiculous.

this extends into the food fight, keith literally taking a stand against allura and thanking lance for backing him up. he and pidge also work together to toss the first batch of food goo — “go loose, pidge!” — and they delightedly cackle throughout. he’s again super smiley when allura points out that they’ve finally worked together as one — “hey! she’s right!” — and when lance says he doesn’t actually hate keith right now. keith rides that wave, smiling as he tells lance that he’s going to be “lights out” as soon as his head hits the pillow, and he fondly teases hunk (“g-forces mess with your head a little bit?”) after hunk rambles about how connected he feels they all are. and though he’s surprised when hunk pulls him into a side-hug, keith doesn’t remotely flinch or lean away from it. he just smiles wider! he’s happy!

keith is still Super Serious about the mission, though. unlike the others, he isn’t instantly swayed by how cute and small klaizap is — “i’m not taking any chances” — and he’s confused when allura says that the paladins are going to visit the arusian village, because isn’t their mission “to get off this planet and fight zarkon”? but allura elaborates that part of their mission is “to spread peace and diplomacy”, and it’s clear that keith isn’t as intuitively comfortable with this as he is with flying and fighting. allura/hunk/lance let the arusians flock to them and hug them, but keith walks away. nevertheless! he accepts a hug when an arusian leaps at him, even if he admits this is uncharacteristic for him: “i don’t usually hug strangers, but — man, you are cuddly.” he softens afterwards, quietly enjoying the village and only breaking away when he sees that pidge and shiro are in trouble.

the castle party is quite the Social Event for keith! he talks to his arusian cuddle buddy, and he hangs out with hunk and lance, trying out the team cheer + joining hunk in poking and prodding at lance when he faints from the nasty space nectar. keith later spits out the same nectar in hunk’s face, but hunk rolls with it, making keith and the arusians laugh. it’s all really fun and therefore really sad that this is the same night hunk/lance/pidge all express wanting to leave!

when the galra invade, keith is the first person to volunteer to help the arusian village: the “weakness” of “valuing the lives of others” that sendak had counted on. keith is also worried when lance is wounded, and despite blowing up at her earlier, keith works to help pidge take back the castle. he’s glad when she chooses to stay and be a team, as shiro had said it should be done, and smiles supportively when she reveals that she’s a girl, joining the others in lessening her nerves.

he’s also glad when he goes to make sure lance is okay and lance says that they are a good team — glad to the extent that keith is the most impatient for lance to get out of the healing pod, and then pretty bummed when lance acts like their Bonding Moment didn’t happen. “i cradled you in my arms!” this doesn’t make him suddenly turn on lance, though; he has no objections to saving the blue lion from rolo and nyma, and he gives back lance’s teasing as good as he gets it: “what’s that? i, uh … you’re cutting out, i can’t — i can’t hear you.”

speaking of rolo and nyma! keith is more immediately willing to trust them than he’d been willing to trust klaizap, which sort of sucks for him, because rolo and nyma actually do have a hidden agenda. he sticks with shiro and allura as they talk to rolo, and when rolo says that there isn’t much galra resistance, keith attempts to assure him with “well, we’re gonna change all that!” he even leans against rolo’s ship as rolo “works”, not antisocial in the slightest. so, understandably, he’s pouty when rolo and nyma’s true natures are revealed, and is the one to repeatedly tell hunk “okay, we get it!” before the rest of the team joins in. this has really been a day of Bonding Betrayal for keith, huh?

he’s also betrayed when shiro participates in the laser gun sound effects, but keith still offers hunk a tiny finger gun even as he tells hunk to calm down. shiro points out that hunk is just excited because it’s his first rescue mission, and shiro and keith share a smile that makes you wonder if they’re reminiscing about something in their past — or, maybe they’re just hyped that everyone else is hyped! either way, it’s a cute moment that tells us keith doesn’t mind how enthusiastic the others are even if he tries to be the Only Sane Man.

he’s teamed up with lance for the balmera mission, but isn’t bitter when lance has a better strategy than he does: he smiles, and then smiles again when he and lance come up with the same strategy later on. keith definitely wants to be “a good team” with lance — with all of them, but it’s a different kind of noteworthy with lance because of lance instigating their rivalry. keith would have reason to not particularly care about cooperating with him, but cooperate he does!

the remaining S1 eps are too action-packed to offer much downtime bonding, but when allura has to let go of hologram!alfor, keith is the only one not looking at her: his eyes are closed and his arms are crossed, as if trying to repress emotion; he seems sympathetic to her pain. this is similar to when pidge reveals that commander holt is her dad: keith doesn’t say anything, but his face is sympathetic. considering what we later learn of keith’s own dad, it’s possible that these are subtle signs of empathy.

i’m going to talk about keith’s objections to the Rescue Allura Mission further down, but this is the more appropriate section to point out that keith still shows how much he cares: he’s the first to notice that shiro comes back without her, and even though the others shut down his objections to the mission, he doesn’t sulk in a corner. he still involves himself in the planning, and the only reason he tells the others “you guys get the princess without me” is because shiro also needs saving. his awareness of how risky the mission is doesn’t stop him from taking risks once they’re in the thick of it — from looking out for his team.

you get the idea! i didn’t give too many shiro examples, both because i have a separate shiro post and because i wanted to prove that the fanon version of keith — “hotheaded emo who isolates himself from people who aren’t shiro” — does not exist. if S1!keith does isolate or differentiate himself, it’s almost always because (you guessed it) he’s focused on the overall mission. this doesn’t mean he Hates People + doesn’t want to bond with them, it means that he’s charged by a unique drive, just as they all are.

keith’s drive can manifest in fairly straightforward things like using his free time to train alone, or to go on a self-appointed druid sidequest. or to, you know, FIGHT ZARKON ONE-ON-ONE BECAUSE HE THINKS IT WILL END THE GALRA EMPIRE! but his drive also sometimes manifests in chiding his teammates, especially lance. because lance wants to one-up keith, lance takes keith criticizing his footing as “i did something cool and you can’t handle it” when keith’s actual concern is “your kick ruined our balance. we fell.” this is pretty emblematic of how keith doesn’t relate to lance’s drive for fame/adoration/being the best, literally telling him “it’s not about the glory, lance — it’s about freeing prisoners from zarkon.”

i know it’s tempting to look at keith’s aesthetic (fingerless gloves, cropped jacket, crossed arms, The Pout) and simplify him to a mysterious Bad Boy archetype (doesn’t care about following the rules + breaks off to defy them); but i think that we as a nation need to face the fact that KEITH IS ACTUALLY A BIG NERD who is very serious about staying on track and whose “off-track” moments are still doing things that (he hopes) will help the track of their mission. and don’t forget that he’ll be the one to tell the others to get back on track, to the point of getting straight-up mocked for it, but that’s jumping ahead to S2.

so, maybe you’re wondering: if S1!keith is Super Serious about their mission, then why the hell does this happen:

keith: or maybe we shouldn’t go on this mission at all. think about it: we’ll be delivering the universe’s only hope to the universe’s biggest enemy.

hunk: keith, that’s cold even for you. what if it was one of us? what if it was me? you wouldn’t leave me, would you? would you?

keith: i’m not saying i like the idea! i’m just thinking like a paladin.

lance: no, you’re thinking of yourself because you’re too scared to do what’s right!

maybe you’re with hunk and lance; maybe you think this makes keith cold and cowardly. as pidge says, everyone is upset because they lost allura, and emotions are running high, even shiro’s (especially shiro’s, because he feels personally responsible). but keith is striving to stay logical and rational. he isn’t saying “i don’t care if we leave allura to die!” — he’s saying that if they go to central command with voltron, they’re not going to be able to save allura or the universe if they’re overpowered. allura agrees with him and zarkon counts on it, because they know what team voltron doesn’t: that zarkon is connected to the black lion and therefore has the power to overtake voltron. keith doesn’t discover these specifics until he fights zarkon directly, but again, keith doesn’t need nitty-gritty details to be wary of a plan that could lead to the destruction of their mission and therefore the universe as a whole. it’s the exact opposite of not caring about saving lives; it’s wanting to ensure that personal feelings and personal motives don’t prevent that life-saving from happening.

and then S2 is like, “hey, let’s make keith PUT HIS MONEY WHERE HIS MOUTH IS.”

S2 & the reveal of keith’s personal motives

remember “if S1!keith does isolate or differentiate himself, it’s almost always because (you guessed it) he’s focused on the overall mission”? this gets MUCH more complicated for S2!keith, because personal feelings — personal motives — are rapidly emerging, and they scare the quiznak out of him.

shiro: is that a hologram?

kolivan: his suit has the ability to create a virtual mindscape, reflecting its wearer’s greatest hopes and fears. and, at this moment, your friend desperately wants to see you.

a recap of keith’s virtual mindscape:

hologram!shiro helps keith up from where he’s fallen, exhausted and in pain from fighting the trials of marmora. he praises keith’s endurance, but says it’s ultimately time to get out of there — that keith should just give up his knife. keith insists that he can’t, because it’s the only thing that ties him to his past and to who he is, to which hologram!shiro says coolly, “you know exactly who you are: a paladin of voltron. we’re all the family you need.” keith affirms that shiro is family to him, but he still has to do this, and now hologram!shiro gets mad. “just give up the knife, keith! you’re only thinking of yourself, as usual!” keith pauses, eyes wide, but gathers himself and says he’s made his choice; and hologram!shiro snaps that this means keith has chosen to be alone. he walks away, and keith runs after him, yelling for shiro to wait —

— and then the scene transforms into keith’s desert shack, where his dad is waiting for him. unlike hologram!shiro, hologram!dad is all about keith and the knife. “you’re home, son. so many years have passed. i have so much to tell you. don’t you want to catch up?” (“of course i do,” says keith, soft and vulnerable.) “your mother gave [the knife] to me.” (“mom?” asks keith, soft and vulnerable.) keith is clearly invested — “you gotta tell me, dad! i have to know!” — but he is also clearly invested in the galra attack that is happening outside, the red lion waiting for him. hologram!dad tells him to ignore it, that keith’s mom will be there soon — if keith doesn’t wait for her, if keith walks out that door, he’ll never find out who he is. but keith can’t take standing there as the world crumbles, and though it’s obviously making him crumble, he says goodbye to his dad and walks out that door.

THE HOPES: having family; connecting to family; feeling that he belongs with a family and knowing exactly how he belongs, whether it’s found family (shiro; team voltron) or biological family (his dad; his mom)

THE FEARS: losing family; but that wanting family — that hoping for it, that pursuing it, that expressing that he wants it — makes him selfish and will distract him from being a paladin of voltron + the greater good of saving the universe

this is Heavy Stuff, so i’m Heavily Confused when people say “S2 wastes a lot of time on keith only for us not to discover anything new — we all guessed galra!keith and it just ended up being anticlimactic because we didn’t see every last character react to galra!keith.”

i again wonder if the problem is that post-S1 fanon built up expectations for the main conflict to be keith openly despairing that team voltron would see him as a purple monster, and then team voltron soothing keith that team voltron is still his family.

but S2 canon is telling us that outside of a virtual mindscape, keith is still scared to express that he wants family! he absolutely wants it, but keith wants family so badly — fears losing family so badly — that those personal feelings/motives have enough power to make him lose focus. and he can’t do that, which means it’s frustrating for him to watch others do that. this all expands on the drive you saw in S1!keith. S2 confirms that he hasn’t had a traditional upbringing; that unlike pidge/hunk/lance/coran/allura, he can’t comfortably open up about how much he misses his family and wants to go back to them, because he doesn’t have that solid frame of reference! if “so many years have passed” since keith last saw his dad, then keith lost his family before voltron and before kerberos. the closest tangible presence is shiro, who he’s lost before, and who is now talking like keith will lose him again! (spoiler alert, he will!)

let’s rewind, because i jumped into the marmora trials without talking about the important S2 bits leading up to the marmora trials. important S2 bits that people see as keith being out of character — as in, the writers forgetting who keith is? — instead of keith within the universe acting uncharacteristically because (it bears repeating) keith is scared that a) he’s going to lose found family (shiro), and b) the truth of his biological family will destroy his part in their mission. and this makes him act in ways that S1!keith didn’t, because he didn’t yet have those personal feelings/motives gnawing at him. does that make sense?

generally, keith doesn’t hesitate to follow shiro’s leadership: sometimes he even does it with a prompt “yes, sir!” as he flies off. but in S2, whenever shiro suggests that keith take over as leader, keith responds with the opposite of ease: “stop talking like that; why are we even talking about this? nothing is going to happen to you.” this isn’t about keith worrying that he doesn’t have the skillset; this is about keith fearing that keith + leadership = losing shiro. this is keith putting shiro over the mission. he also hesitates when shiro wants to find ulaz, even though shiro says the risk is worth it if they can find new allies: “shiro, are you sure you can trust this? i mean, after all the galra have done to you, they — they took your arm.” keith remains worried even after seeing ulaz’s blade and knowing that he has the same symbol on his own knife (and therefore knowing that he has a key to his past): “you know i trust you, shiro. but this doesn’t feel right.”

A SIDEBAR ABOUT KEITH & SHIRO

keith wanting to protect shiro isn’t news! S1 has several hints, but S2 fleshes them out further. there’s still backstory to uncover: how did they meet, and how did shiro change keith’s life for the better? and are the fan theories accurate — did keith get kicked out of the garrison because he started acting out after the kerberos mission “failed due to pilot error”?

backstory gaps aside, we’re still given enough to understand that keith sees shiro as a great source of safety and balance, which i write about in more detail here. in S1, though, keith doesn’t let his personal feelings for shiro overpower the mission: he doesn’t even know that he’s going to find shiro when he follows the energy in the desert, so he isn’t solely motivated by shiro, either (even if finding him is an obvious emotional relief). the one time he slips in S1, it’s when he doesn’t want to find red without shiro, but he still goes through with it! and that’s the thing — S2 may instill the fear that something could happen to shiro, making keith hesitant to say “yes, absolutely, i’ll do it!” when shiro talks about his hypothetical departure. but when the hypothetical becomes reality — shiro in danger — keith has proven time and time again that in the heat of that moment, he won’t at all hesitate to go after shiro. he’ll even fly the black lion to do it — so maybe that motive will push him to fly black when shiro truly does disappear!

it isn’t until keith gets irrefutable proof of ulaz’s loyalty that he’s willing to trust the blade of marmora, and he apologizes to shiro for doubting ulaz. and this is where keith subtly starts having personal motives concerning himself (i.e. not just shiro), even though the other characters don’t know it. but keith knows that he somehow has a connection to the blade, and now that he’s convinced they aren’t evil or manipulating shiro, he wants to chase that connection. he defends ulaz against allura and throws out that they should “meet up with the rest of ulaz’s group, finish what we started”; it’s shiro who has to remind him that they can’t go until they find out how zarkon is tracking them, otherwise they’ll risk losing the blade as allies. remember how S1!keith would normally point out something logical and rational like this? oops.

keith continues to chase answers, even asking coran about the galra coming to earth; this is the first time keith has ever brought up earth, and it’s to figure out his history, not to reminisce about it as the others have done. he gets cut off by pidge detecting the olkari’s sporse code, and he sits apart from the group as she rambles, looking angry — this isn’t his default “crossed arms but still listening” pose, he’s impatient and frustrated about being torn away from his own “research”, so he basically snaps at pidge to get to the point.

i don’t mean to paint S2!keith as constantly on edge, because he isn’t! he has a blast during the spore fight; he seems quite at peace in the olkari’s forest; he’s right there with lance in wanting to go swimming; and he and lance actually have a lot of nice teamwork during these eps, both in the elevator and outside of the elevator.

a particularly sweet keith moment is how deeply he’s affected by “we’re all made up of the same cosmic dust”: “so, that means — we’re all related. this ship, those stars, the olkari … even the galra.” it’s similar to hunk’s “we’re totally connected: no secrets, no barriers, no nothing!” + keith’s teasing “g-forces mess with your head a little bit?”, so hunk gets him back this time — “i think keith just blew his own mind!” — but we, the audience, again know what the characters don’t: that keith is not only trying to make peace with maybe being galra, but trying to soften the others into the idea — into not seeing him any differently, because he’ll still be connected to them. they’ll all still be made up of the same cosmic dust. guys. :(

but the squishy feelings can’t last forever! reality ensues: zarkon is tracking them without mercy, and keith wants to face him — “enough running!” — but shiro and allura say it’s too dangerous; and sure enough, when they do face him, zarkon again tries to overpower shiro’s mind and take the black lion. allura is convinced this is her fault — that zarkon is tracking them through her — but keith says it’s him, because zarkon must have imprinted on him when they fought, or something. the lies! he even lies to shiro, though shiro approaches him privately and kindly to ask if anything is wrong, since keith seems anxious; but keith brushes him off and says he just needs sleep. and this is where S2!keith has perhaps his biggest departure from S1!keith:

HE MAKES PLANS TO LEAVE TEAM VOLTRON. this is everything he once exploded at pidge for considering! to be fair, keith isn’t leaving to find his family; but he is worried that having galra family is how team voltron is being tracked, and he’s prepared to remove himself from the team if that’s the case. it’s understandable that this fear is on his mind, with the nightmare he just had: the red lion attacking him; a military galra uniform replacing the paladin armor; and zarkon — who in reality told keith that he fights like a galra soldier! — threatening that he can find keith anywhere. in the pod, keith asks allura if they even can go back if they’re the ones being tracked — except who would pilot the castle or create wormholes? — and though keith had been the one to remind pidge that her leaving would mean not being able to form voltron, it’s allura who has to remind keith that he’s a paladin and is needed to form voltron. yikes.

A SIDEBAR ABOUT KEITH & ALLURA

this can be a hard dynamic to analyze, because until now, they haven’t had much one-on-one interaction; but i’d argue that their characters have a lot of parallels. if keith and shiro are Team Patience Yields Focus, then keith and allura are Team Action Over Caution. make no mistake, they can be cautious if they think something will hurt the team as a whole — remember that they both saw the risk in bringing voltron to central command, even if it meant rescuing allura. but as this pod plan proves, they don’t mind acting on their own. when it comes to putting themselves in danger — acting individually for the greater good of the team — then they’ll put Action Over Caution and throw themselves into the line of fire. so, says allura: “i’m not going to stop you. i’m going to join you.”

the one time they work together in S1, it’s because they’ve both been tricked into thinking the arusians are in trouble, and though they end up barred from the castle, they still do what they can to help pidge on the inside; and as soon as they can get back in, they only allow themselves a brief second of happiness before getting serious and running into battle, with a plan of action already formed. plus, we’ve seen that they’ll put aside their own personal feelings for the greater good: they both leave behind the holograms of their dads, as much as they miss them and want them to be a presence, because the choice is between that and people being in danger. and of course, allura sacrificed herself to save shiro and the team; and keith fought zarkon to save shiro and the team. shiro is often a calming balance to their fire, which is why he tells them that their running off puts the team in more danger — that the team is always stronger together.

however, it’s worth noting that allura isn’t prepared to leave team voltron permanently: unlike keith, she doesn’t bring along all of her belongings. she has every intention of returning. allura, though she’s lost her family, is still motivated by them, and often mentions her dad in speeches about continuing his mission. she doesn’t feel a need to completely divorce her drive from personal feelings/motives, even if it’s painful for her. you can see this in how she talks in the pod: allura is very open about the trauma zarkon has wrought, saying she knows too well how quickly galra can turn. but keith does everything he can to sound impersonal; to sound objective, like a diplomat. like he has no personal motives behind “it means something to me! it means some of [the galra] are actually willing to help! and we could use all the help we can get!” they’re coming at this from extremely different family histories (one grew up knowing who they were and what their purpose was; one did not), and therefore coming from extremely different perspectives, even if both perspectives are about losing family and wanting family. neither of them are wrong for the way they feel, but they’re not going to reach closure overnight. and yet they still work together to survive the sudden explosion into zero gravity, so! it’s a tense situation, but they’re still teammates, and they’re still bonded by their devotion to the overall team.

phew, okay, so that happens! as does finding out that zarkon is tracking them through the black lion, which means keith can go back to researching the history of his knife, and he does just that at the space mall (instead of looking for teludav lenses, their assigned mission). and then finally comes the time to go to the blade’s headquarters, which holds keith’s entire focus. he increasingly loses patience with lance/hunk/pidge for going off-topic, and lance goes from mocking him to “okay, jeez, calm down.” listen to the difference between S1!keith and S2!keith in arguing that they have no other option, that this is their mission and they can’t turn back: the difference is that S2!keith has a strong personal motive. shiro is again tuned into keith’s behavior being out of the ordinary — “you kind of blew up at everybody back there” — but he still understands that keith’s devotion is to the team, even if his communication of that needs fine-tuning via self-control and self-discipline. and he still wants keith to accompany him to the headquarters, which lance doesn’t take very well!

A SIDEBAR ABOUT KEITH & LANCE

or, more accurately, “a sidebar about how lance sees keith”? i’m going to be blunt: i think a good bulk of fandom misinterpreting keith comes from lance being the fandom favorite + seeing keith through lance’s eyes. and that makes sense, because lance canonically has a biased viewpoint of keith, but that’s the keyword: biased. he isn’t always right!

which doesn’t mean he’s always wrong. they have the building blocks of a fire/water dynamic — there’s even a visual metaphor when their lions first reveal their elemental powers: keith’s fire almost hurts the balmera, but lance’s ice stops it. this extends to some of their personal interactions. lance is another balancing character who will point out when keith is running too “hot”, potentially putting others at risk — like when keith almost attacks without considering the balmera, or when keith’s druid sidequest could blow their cover. and in a shiro-esque move, lance says “we’ve got to stick together! what are you doing?” when keith says he’s going to do “whatever he can” to stop zarkon by himself.

this all shows great potential on lance’s part, but unfortunately, it’s still just potential. for the majority of the time, he doesn’t balance keith out because he’s too busy losing his own cool when it comes to keith!

lance: so, any thoughts on who’s gonna join you on this little mission? i’m thinking things might get a little hot, so you’re gonna want someone who can stay cool.

shiro: you’re right. keith, you’re coming with me.

lance: keith’s a hothead! he’s probably going to shoot first and ask questions later! and they’re not gonna be able to answer his questions because they’ll be dead!

from lance’s perspective, he’s been in keith’s shadow since the garrison: “i hope i don’t need to remind you that the only reason you’re here is that the best pilot in your class had a discipline issue and flunked out.” so while it’s understandable that he has this blind spot, it doesn’t make it any less of a blind spot that prevents him from seeing keith as a fully realized person with his own personal feelings and motives. this definitely needs to be a two-way street — if keith isn’t opening up, we can’t ask lance to magically read keith’s mind — but someone being reserved doesn’t normally stop lance from trying.

lance can be a perceptive People Person: for example, he realizes that iverson bringing up the kerberos mission always sets pidge off, and he tells pidge that they’re going to have to bond and share secrets if they want to be a good team. but he has yet to extend a similar hand to keith (at least, not a hand that he doesn’t yank back), because to lance, keith represents someone he wants to either Be or Beat.

and that results in provoking keith and projecting onto keith, because he assumes keith feels the same way; that keith wants what lance wants, and is always going to get it. when we first meet keith as a character, it’s through lance assuming “that guy is always trying to one-up me!” and that they have an epic mutual rivalry that plagues keith as much as it plagues lance. but it doesn’t! yes, keith will at times rise to it, defend himself, or even instigate it, and he isn’t shy to point out when lance doesn’t have the right focus or is acting recklessly (“just concentrate on keeping me safe” + “it’s not about the glory” + imbalancing power kicks); but he isn’t actually out to make lance feel inferior or to steal everything lance wants.

other examples of lance projecting onto keith:

lance assumes that keith talking to coran about the blue lion means that keith wants to pilot the blue lion (reality: keith wants to know if the blue lion has a link to his galra family, and lance is the one who acted like he was going to be given the red lion as well as the blue lion!)

lance assumes that keith and allura run off together because they’re “sitting in a tree” (reality: they’re trying to see if zarkon is tracking them, but lance wants to “sit in a tree” with allura! in S1, nyma plays lance’s paranoia like a fiddle: when lance seems like he won’t take her out in his lion, nyma muses that maybe keith will, and lance instantly trips over himself to get them flying. never mind that we’re never shown keith interacting with anyone but rolo from that team; nyma is savvy enough to, at some point in talking with lance, pick up on his keith problem. it’s that obvious!)

sometimes he just full-out assumes the worst of keith, like keith doesn’t care enough about the mission and therefore he’s going to kill everyone on sight, or keith is too scared to do what’s right and therefore doesn’t want to go to central command to save his own skin. all wrong assumptions, and all indicative of how much he misinterprets keith.

to give lance credit, sometimes he almost fondly thinks of hotheaded!keith, like when he laughs about the time keith was ready to fight tiny little klaizap (“he was their bravest warrior!”). none of the above means lance hates keith/doesn’t care about him. his voice + expressions are very worried when it looks like keith is getting hurt at the blade’s headquarters, and he privately gushes about keith doing cool things like flying through asteroid fields and black holes (which has added sweetness when you realize this comes after finding out that keith is galra and that he would’ve had new ammo to badmouth him). this, on top of several moments of working together mid-battle, absolutely implies that they’re going to get better and that lance will eventually lose his keith blind spot; and keith, in return, will realize that lance isn’t all about fun and games/girls/glory/wanting to be cool — that he’s a caring person with a big heart.

right now, i’d compare it to the harry potter versus ron weasley trope: character A has lost their family and desperately wants family, while character B has always had family, but still envies character A because they have glory and are never seen as second (or seventh) best. and i do think that lance will one day be a great friend to keith, once he understands how much keith Doesn’t Have Everything; that keith wants family and/or needs support (don’t click this if you don’t want S3 spoilers). but they’re not at that place in S2, even if they’re working towards it, which is why it isn’t lance that you see in the virtual mindscape, even if you hear his words (“you’re thinking of yourself!”): lance isn’t on shiro’s level of understanding keith/reaching out to keith, and lance is still himself in a mindscape where he sees keith being chosen for something as one-upping him, when that has never been keith’s driving force, least of all during the marmora mission.

so, yes, lance is wrong when he assumes that keith is so hotheaded that he’s going to kill everyone when they get to the blade’s headquarters (even if he’s basing this on keith’s king lubos bluff, which was more about a) keith’s horror that lubos was such a horrible leader that he’d turn his back on his own people, and b) keith not thinking the galra would be so evil as to actually not care if keith went through with the bluff, but anyway). keith doesn’t take action against the blade until they do so against him, and even then, he refuses to leave and is willing to do whatever it takes to earn their trust and knowledge!

so, as i broke down 10,000 years ago, keith goes through the virtual mindscape that makes him confront his hopes and fears, which are — well, i’ll just copy and paste them again:

THE HOPES: having family; connecting to family; feeling that he belongs with a family and knowing exactly how he belongs, whether it’s found family (shiro; team voltron) or biological family (his dad; his mom)

THE FEARS: losing family; but that wanting family — that hoping for it, that pursuing it, that expressing that he wants it — makes him selfish and will distract him from being a paladin of voltron + the greater good of saving the universe

shiro is the opposite of hologram!shiro: he barges in there right along with the red lion, ready to attack the blade if they continue to harm keith and “mess with his mind”. but only keith is able to stop the chaos with a firm:

keith: wait! just take the knife! it doesn’t matter where i come from. i know who i am. we all need to work together to defeat zarkon. if that means i give up this knife, fine. take it.

he awakens the blade, confirming that he has galra blood in his veins, and from here, there’s a slight turning point. it’s not that all of keith’s worries have vanished, but the part that made him so desperate — the uncertainty — has been somewhat cleared. he still doesn’t know all of the details of his past, but he’s setting that aside to focus on the mission; to prove that being galra doesn’t make him any less devoted to the mission.

he’s visibly and audibly struggling. when he and hunk fly to the weblum, keith tries to cling to routine — “everyone has a job to do and this is ours” — but when hunk starts firing questions about keith being galra and explains why, exactly, allura is so shaken by it, keith changes the subject: “let’s just watch the video coran uploaded and stay on task.” this isn’t purely because he wants to focus on the mission, but because he wants to avoid expressing how emotional this is all making him. how inhuman it makes him feel: “i’m not an alien.” when they see the dead planets, he looks and sounds almost guilty; he’s galra, and it’s likely that galra are responsible for killing those planets.

keith has always been devoted to the mission, but now, he’s pushing himself to really show what he’s capable of, because he wants his teammates to feel that nothing about him has changed — that he wants to help them, not hurt them. over the course of this mini-arc, you especially see him do this with:

hunk: keith and hunk may not clash as much as keith and lance, but the yellow lion is described as “caring and kind … its pilot is one who puts the needs of others above his own … as the leg of voltron, you will lift the team up and hold them together”; meanwhile, the red lion is “temperamental and the most difficult to master … you’ll have to earn its respect.” remember that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin: hunk, like yellow, is an openly caring person who is also very open about his own emotions, lacking much of a brain-to-mouth filter; but keith, like red, does not open up easily. keith is very physically expressive, but rarely verbally expressive when it comes to the depths of what he’s feeling, and there’s perhaps no clearer example than his responses to hunk’s attempts at Galra Talk. hunk isn’t going to sugarcoat that he finds the galra reveal to be Too New and Too Weird, a pretty difficult approach for keith, who doesn’t want to talk about it at all. “can you just lay off?”

so it’s a rocky start for keith and hunk — especially when you consider that hunk already sees keith as a “cold” person — but keith finds his feet once they get into the belly of the beast. maybe he’s thinking of what shiro told him before the marmora mission: “you’ll have to control your emotions if you’re going to lead this group someday … i know what you’re capable of, if you can learn some self-discipline … if you’re going to be a leader, you’ve got to get your head on straight.” keith doesn’t transform his entire personality to do this, or go too out of his comfort zone (translation: he isn’t suddenly opening up about his galra angst), but he does try to combine a mix of his own philosophy with hunk’s. keith says coran’s instructions seem “simple enough” while hunk says they seem “under-explained” — so keith, in how he tries to lead hunk, combines simplicity and clarity. he sees that hunk is freaked out by the weblum, and just as hunk doesn’t sugarcoat galra!keith being Weird, keith isn’t going to sugarcoat that their surroundings are disgusting: but “we’re gonna need that big brain of yours if we want to make it through. will you be all right? i gotta be able to count on you.” he is by no means flawless at this (“i said, will you be all right?”) but he continues to try to calm hunk down, even casually opting for humor, prompting hunk’s shock, ongoing laughter, and the famous “wow. galra!keith is way funnier than regular!keith.”

like keith later says, he “didn’t just turn galra!” — he’s always been this person, Super Serious about the mission and working as a team, but he’s aware that he hasn’t always been communicative about that in a way that everyone finds warm and inviting. so during the weblum mission, he doesn’t just try to be simple and clear in instructing hunk (“you’ve gotta find a way out of the circulatory system — meet me in the third stomach; let’s get what we came for and get out; what do we gotta do to get that scaultrite gland to goop?”), but also in encouraging hunk: “by the way … you really came through in the clutch back there. without you, the mission would have been a failure.” hunk is obviously appreciative of keith trying to be “a better human”, so this holds potential for keith to gradually feel more comfortable in being open about himself in addition to how much he wants his teammates to feel they can be comfortable with him.

weblum!galra: they may not be on team voltron, but keith accepts them as an ally once weblum!galra proves that they’re willing to be a team (keith thinks weblum!galra is aiming their gun at him, but instead, weblum!galra shoots the Evil Bacteria; “i guess you can keep your weapon,” says keith, surprised). this is a very interesting dynamic, because weblum!galra is faceless and voiceless, which means keith can judge everything based on their actions — exactly what he’s hoping people will do for him. but at the same time, he others himself from weblum!galra (even beyond that first meeting when keith sees their galra crest and takes their gun, accusing them with a flat “you’re galra” even though he’s galra, too). he’s slightly hesitant to tell hunk that weblum!galra is, well, galra, and then makes a face when hunk jokes that all galra must know each other.

but after hunk asks if they should rescue a galra soldier, keith reorients his focus: “we��re paladins of voltron. we can’t leave people to die even if they are galra.” his voice betrays him — he’s emotional — so this is another example of keith not speaking totally objectively. it doesn’t matter if someone left alone and in need of saving is galra; that doesn’t mean team voltron can dehumanize them. he’s not 100% talking about weblum!galra, nor is it only weblum!galra that he’s worried about being abandoned. so uh, needless to say — after working alongside this person and having each other’s backs, keith is pretty damn upset when weblum!galra betrays him. “you’re just like the rest of them,” he says, doing exactly what he hopes allura and the others won’t do: he lumps all galra together. keith has very much not yet made peace with being part-galra. even so, he still says weblum!galra can’t be too big of a threat — it doesn’t matter what they do with the scaultrite, because “whatever the galra are planning won’t matter after we defeat zarkon.” his mission mindset remains “destroying zarkon means destroying everything underneath him.” (it’s almost like keith doesn’t know that this is only S2 and that the empire has a prince who may even be connected to weblum!galra, but hey, moving on.)

allura: with allura, keith is at odds — he does a mix of staying quiet and speaking up. when he does speak up, it isn’t to talk the talk, but action-oriented “let me walk the walk and prove my loyalty”: i’m here, what can i do, how can i help, how is your side of the mission going? hunk even reminds allura that keith is doing his part, but allura cannot fully trust it until this crucial scene:

kolivan: we’ve not yet heard from thace. he was supposed to contact us two vargas ago.

antok: he could’ve been captured.

kolivan: or killed. we need to abort this mission immediately.

allura: abort? no! we cannot back away now!

antok: the blade of marmora does not take chances. it’s how we’ve survived for so long.

allura: it’s held you back. your caution is the reason zarkon is still in power!

kolivan: we would rather wait than jeopardize everything. besides, it’s too late to get someone else on the inside.

keith: i’ll do it.

allura: what?

keith: i’ll sneak onto zarkon’s ship. i’m galra, so i’ll be able to interact with their technology. pidge, you can rig up one of those pods with a cloaking device, right?

pidge: well, yeah.

kolivan: going onto zarkon’s ship is a suicide mission. i would never command someone so inexperienced to go on a mission so dangerous.

keith: no one’s commanding me. i’m doing it.

i wrote that all out because it has Poignant Parallels to when allura first speaks to hologram!alfor:

allura: i don’t know if we should run to preserve what we have, or stay and risk everything. i want to fight, but the paladins of old are gone. i know what you would do.

hologram!alfor: i scattered the lions to keep them out of zarkon’s hands. you urged me to keep them and fight, but, for the greater good of protecting the universe, i chose to hide them.

allura: i think i understand.

hologram!alfor: no, daughter, you were right. i made a terrible mistake, one that cost the universe countless lives. forming voltron is the only way to stop zarkon. you must be willing to sacrifice everything to assemble the lions and correct my error.

it’s therefore not surprising that keith showing such a determined display of Action Over Caution resonates with allura: it’s exactly what she would do. and keith isn’t just risking his life for a mini-mission — this is essentially the Final Boss Fight that will end in defeating zarkon. to us, the audience and not the characters fighting this war, allura may seem like she does a quick turnaround — but it’s quick because it’s the quickness of keith rising up and refusing to give up that makes allura realize that they have the same drive.

she doesn’t have to go to the extent that she does: approach keith, explain why she’s been so hesitant and scared, and hug him and assure him that she sees him as part of her new family, so please come back. but she does, as both leader and head of that new family who would’ve had every right to not want to risk another galra teammate turning traitor, making her relive her trauma. this is why it’s her reaction to galra!keith that is so focused on; this entire galra!keith arc — for both allura and keith, who are Intensely Invested in the success of their mission — is about what they’re willing to do for the greater good of their mission. keith still isn’t pouring out his own emotions — he’s not at that comfort level yet — but he can absolutely respond with a firm nod and an “i will”, vowing to do his part and to come back and continue to do his part.

allura: i just wanted to say: the galra, they’ve done terrible things. destroyed entire civilizations. they took my family. but, in time, i’ve grown to consider you and the paladins my family. so, when i learned you were galra … i didn’t know what to think. i wanted to hate you.

keith: allura, it’s —

allura cuts him off before he can finish, so we can only guess what keith would have said. was this his attempt at verbally communicating his own perspective of losing and wanting family, or was this his attempt at verbally communicating that he understands allura’s perspective? whatever it was, allura thinks keith’s actions speak for themselves: “you’ve proven it’s not what’s in your blood; it’s who you are that counts.” and because this is something that’s said before battle — where keith could very well die — it’s understandable if this shifts in the future: if allura needs keith to verbally communicate in addition to communicating via actions. but for right now, the actions are enough for her.

i’m sure this will carry into S3, not just in terms of keith still confronting the fact that he’s galra, but in terms of allura being an altean who now has galra allies and altean enemies — haggar and probably prince lotor. it’s a mess! how this war began was obviously not cut-and-dry (one group versus another group with zero overlap), which means allies and enemies aren’t going to be cut-and-dry. all they can do is hope that the trust they’re placing in people they never thought they’d work with is earned. that it’ll further their mission, not destroy it.

keith gets a taste of this when he meets thace:

like ulaz, thace is willing to improvise and act quickly — and ultimately sacrifice himself for the greater good. “paladin, this is where my journey ends. but as a member of voltron, you have a bigger mission. you must understand that.” their time together is brief, but after fighting the druids and shutting down zarkon’s ship, it’s more than enough for keith to tell thace, with emotion, “it was an honor to meet you.” (just like “it’s been an honor flying with you, boys!”) unlike with weblum!galra, keith is able to feel that he’s successfully teamed up with an honorable galra. (and kolivan and antok are learning, too; they go with allura to fight haggar, finally putting Action Over Caution.)

after allura gets hurt, it takes a We Can’t Give Up speech from shiro to get all of the paladins moving again: “i’m all in,” says keith, grinning. and when shiro gets hurt, keith steps up and leads the others (even though this is something he fears!) and the others follow him without hesitation: “something’s wrong with shiro — guys, we can’t let zarkon get the black lion!” you can seriously see why the red lion and keith share the same quintessence: it may not be easy for them to open up, but when they have a goal, they’re all in, and when they have someone they want to protect, they’re all in.

it’s very heartbreaking, then, but very fitting, to see them win the battle but lose shiro — to see keith run breathlessly towards shiro’s lion and call shiro’s name. for added heartbreak, remember this pre-battle conversation:

shiro: you realize, once we defeat zarkon — the universe won’t need voltron anymore.

lance: we can return to earth.

pidge: i can look for my family.

keith: i guess i could look for mine.

keith still doesn’t have pidge’s strong and sure conviction about looking for his biological family — not because he doesn’t care about them, but because his headspace is still in his #1 mission: defeating zarkon and defending the universe. what happens after that; where does he even begin to look for his biological family? he’ll have time to figure that out, because now the worst has happened and he’s also lost shiro, his found family. team voltron still has work to do.

beyond S1 & S2

i doubt keith’s arc is over, at all; i think it’s just begun, and that keith will continue to be challenged and will continue to grow. in S3, keith is going to fully experience what pidge has experienced: someone he loves is missing, but keith still has this mission of being defender of the universe — possibly, even, the temporary leader! — and he’s going to have to be decisive about team voltron’s goals: saving countless people and planets, or saving shiro — one person over everyone else in the entire galaxy. can they manage a balance of both? can keith manage a balance between what he sees as selfish (personal feelings/motives) and what he sees as selfless (the greater good)? can keith open up to the rest of the team, furthering his bonds with them, or will he put up a wall?

will his relationship with shiro be used against him by antagonists? what about keith’s willingness to work with galra who display signs of allyship — will a galra take advantage of that, only to betray him? will keith think he’s doing something for the greater good, only to have it come back to bite him, hurting not just him, but everyone he cares about (his potential new family)?

WHOMST KNOWS, but to bring this to a close:

tl;dr

this is not a post saying “keith has done nothing wrong, ever, in his life.” but it is a post saying that, quite often, this fandom cares more about how other characters interpret keith than about paying attention to keith as he actually is! which ignites a cycle of paying more attention to how fandom interprets keith instead of to who keith actually is! so, if you think your perspective on keith has been muddled (“Careless Action Boy Who Could Not Care Less About People”), please rewatch S1 and S2, because everything you need is there.

[lovemeian]

合縁奇縁

 —(noun) a japanese untranslatable idiom, AIENKIEN is defined as an expression used to describe an uncanny relationship. it characterises a couple who met by a quirk of fate, but are strangely happy and deeply bonded by their unusual attraction and course of destiny.

+ part of @undersero​‘s #tropetrovecollab !

wc: 5,678. | famous singer!semi eita x actress!reader

—fluff, angsty ; there mayhaps be some suggestive parts + hurt/comfort, pining, fake dating, exes to lovers + technically, so much of the tropes hehe + this y/n is an actor, okay? okay + reader is also wildly a hopeless romantic, i’m sorry she isn’t as general as she should be; i have a hard time with it when they’re fics, ily tho, thank you for reading + this is the longest shit i’ve ever written to date in this blog, might cry, i hope you like it !

+ give love: akmu ; highly recommend this song!! pls listen while reading~

+ unedited.

masterlist ; re-blogs are much appreciated !

+ update at 13th, Aug: some post fic headcanons!

Whoever would’ve thought that you’d be here, under an old wooden gazebo overflowing with wisteria blooms and trying to shelter from the onslaught of sudden rain, lips numbed, with your former fake lover?

Not you, definitely.

Nine months ago. . .

The first time you meet Eita is at a cramped, nearly auspicious meeting room filled by people from his team and people from yours. An actor’s pr team versus a singer’s pr team, and on both sides, the nervous energy was ravenous; it fed from the stolen, inquisitive looks to the drumming of fingers against accompanied files and phones. Silence reigned that was only broken through by hums of hushed conversation too quiet to pick up by discerning ears.

You and your team had arrived first, with you, nervously fiddling with your clothes underneath the table. You didn't honestly know what was going on, but to be in a meeting with a famous singer’s complete pr team versus your own is definitely not a good sign.

More than any damn thing, it was downright ominous.

Your manager, a man who has protected you in this industry as best as he could since you were scouted by the agency, especially when you proposed how much you wanted to keep your private life as tight at the edges as possible, tapped your knee comfortably. Reassuringly. It reminded you of a father in a way. But as you watched how his jaw was set, and the controlled frown on his face— the small assurance did little to assuage you of what this meeting was about.

But you were an actress, so you smiled in comfort. Maybe if you faked through it enough, it could become real.

“Oh, he’s here,” someone said abruptly, making your eyes turn to the figure that has everyone scrambling from the entrance.

Even as a rising actor, you know about Semi Eita. You've listened to his band’s music before and you have seen him around social media. There were also a few times at parties, but apart from cursory greetings, you were a stranger to him as he was to you. So you knew how good looking he is, as all men in bands usually are. But the resonance from photos to the real thing was worlds better. First, he’s tall. Taller than you thought. And despite his very lean build, when he pushed up on his sleeves as he sat down and got comfortable, his muscles were corded tightly. His eyes were sleek and his charm was eased, a settled armour, and when he met your eyes, his gaze went kind as he bowed in greeting. You bowed back, albeit a little too late. A little bit flustered.

“So why are we here?” your manager asked as soon as everyone has shuffled in, not one to mince words or dance around subjects. It's what protected you since you started acting.

“This,” a woman said, sat next to him as she nodded for someone on the back end to close the lights. The projector flickered open and with a remote, she settled on a few pictures most likely taken by paparazzi. Some of the pictures were blurry; it was somewhat of two people in the same frame who seem to be standing? Walking? With each other. Your eyes narrowed as you remembered the familiar silhouettes and background, until she settled on the final picture; this one not at all blurry, showcasing you— you from that party a few days ago, brought by a friend to mingle, and Semi Eita, and seemingly, you looked like you were smiling at each other.

You blinked at it. The weight of the eyes around the room heavily went back and forth from you to Semi.

“I— we were only greeting each other.”

“Yeah,” he said, sighing at it. When he met your eyes, it was apologetic. “As i’ve already said, we had met before at a few gatherings back and we recognised each other when we were walking in. Because we're polite people, we greeted each other. All the other photos were just coincidental blurs that make it look as if we came together.”

‘Came together’?

The woman, who you were assuming was Eita's manager, snapped back for the lights and turned to you, to your manager. Eita sighed, knowing where this was going. “Let's cut to the chase, shall we? I've been told by an informant in one of the news sites that these pictures are going to be all over everywhere tomorrow. From news sites, connected influencers— everywhere on social media. Unless we do something, agree on something today, the narrative is going to be nasty. Eita's already got a few good years in his belt, and you know how easy it is for men in this industry to move forward and shake off rumours like these, make it just look like hookups if they really wanted a scandal.”

“That didn’t hurt at all,” Eita mumbled, smile sardonic as he spun a pen between long fingers.

She smiled at him, adjusting her glasses. “I like you, kid, you know that, but you also know that you benefit from a very worn out path by your male predecessors. You're going to be fine.” Her eyes flickered to you, and at the intensity of it, you shrunk under her imploring gaze. “On young, upcoming actresses with no big features in their belt though, I’m sorry to say this, my dear, but the news site, the fans, are going to bury you alive. Unless you do something big fast, most of your career, you’re going to be known as one of Semi Eita's party hook ups. It'll be your brand unless you do something."

The squeak of protest was loud in your head, but you know she was right. Your projects have so far been small and gradual in their rise. You had only recently booked an audition for an infamous melodrama last week, coming on in their newest season as a plot twist that you hope would be enough to have you as a show regular if you did your best.

Even your manager gritted his teeth, knowing more about this industry than you do, and how much scandals like to prey on new actresses as notches on the belt of someone higher, more famous, and promptly forgetting their existence soon after, most likely getting blacklisted in certain circles.

And you didn't want to think of what you can attract being known as Semi Eita's party hookup.

“So what do you propose we do?” your manager asked, fist clenched underneath the table.

Her eyes glimmered. Something in her visage made you recoil; it felt like a serpent assessing her fresh prey. “Well, it is a good opportunity for both of you. Semi is currently doing his newest album and I heard your kid is about to come on to that melo, right? This will be good publicity for them if we're smart about it.”

“What is it?” you pressed, heart clenched. Your eyes met Eita across the table, and though he exuded a calm, almost bored countenance, his eyes brewed something dark and intense that you looked away, your nerves eating at your frayed edges.

Fake dating.

That was the best solution either of your teams thought of. Controlling the narrative brought you through months of planned public appearances, sly social media pop ups, and finally, a confirmation from both of your agencies; you and Semi Eita had finally gone public on your very fake relationship.

And the spotlight had burned bright, bright enough that you had to look away but you were rooted, chained to the ground.

Beside you was Semi, holding your hand. You don't know if he was the chain or a respite. All the same, you squeezed back, hoping the lights would dim soon. Hoping this wasn’t a bad idea.

Six months ago. . .

“Don't you feel a little weird by all of this?” you asked, moving the straw of your caramel latte with a pointed lip. You had been on his couch for the better part of an hour, a planned hangout circled a few times in your manager's calendar.

Both of you had already finished appearing in each other's quick updates on social media, and only needed to hang out for the purpose of the few people in the building where Semi's studio was located.

He turned to you from the composing he was doing; alternating between strumming out chords on what the perfect order should be to mixing them on his massive set up. His smile was quirked, eyes half-lidded. This was a familiar expression to you; Eita at his most comfortable.

“Kind of weird to ask that now, isn’t it, girlfriend?”

You snorted. “Maybe. But it hits me at the weirdest of times, okay? Who would’ve thought my entire career rests on Semi Eita’s cooperation. You could make or break me. I hate it.”

His dark eyebrows rose imperceptibly as he settled his fingers over the strings of his guitar. You learned it was his favourite, something he religiously used because of good luck. It had produced most of his chart toppers.

“You do?”

You gave him a look. “What person would like it when their entire career rests on another person’s palms? No one likes to feel vulnerable."

He thought of it for a moment. Or pretended to, as he had smirked. “Trophy wives? Masochists?”

“I guess?” You sighed. “Plus, the entire concept of it. Fake dating. It's so. . . swoon movie worthy. I'm half expecting a musical solo and a declaration in the rain."

He snorted. "Would that make you feel better?"

"I am not going to stand and get sick as you monologue, sir, no thank you."

He laughed. Your relationship with him was so casual despite its rocky beginning. Though he had established his lines, he was amicable. Kind despite all the teasing and the winks. The. . . flirty demeanour that always felt subconscious. Like a well worn armour.

Then he shrugged. “A lot of celebrities do it, you know. More often than you might think. It helps careers."

You frowned, remembering how much you know of Eita's public relationships. From gossips and interjections across loose tongues. “Are all your relationships fake then?”

He smirked, but something about it caught your eye. You tried to pinpoint what it was. “Some of them.”

“Isn’t that sad then?” You don’t know when exactly you had been so comfortable with banter with Semi Eita. Banter with topics of his relationships. Maybe it was the world that you both created, only the two of you know the truth and the two of you are responsible for its all walls and facades. And inside this little bubble, you had each other. Like a secret little club. “Knowing when love is real and when it isn’t? Don't you want to be loved for real?”

"I didn't realise you were a hopeless romantic."

You blushed, shuffling under his soliciting gaze. "It's not like that."

“Hm." His dark eyes glittered like waves under the gaze of the night sky. Mysterious and imploring. Asking like a siren if you wanted to take a little dip. "Do you have someone in mind? Is that why you’re asking me these things?”

It was hard to look serious and maintain eye contact, so you looked away, uneasily shuffling under his gaze. “No, not really. I just— I just think people should be in love for real." You winced. You felt like you had just confessed to something, a childish daydream perhaps. "Life is so. . . short. Short and long at the same time, and I think we should spend it with people we truly care about. It sounds exhausting otherwise.”

He hummed, tapping his numerous ring-clad fingers across his ripped jeans. Even like this, looking at him, he felt like a poster boy of every badboy musician there was. It all seemed like he was dressed and donned to be the perfect image of what he presented, and idly, you wonder how much you can peel off, if you do dare. What you were allowed to peel off. These curiosities were reserved for true girlfriends and the like after all, and Semi has his lines that you know not to cross.

And more than anything, you do like Semi. He was kind and charming, a total gentleman despite his very smirky poster bad boy appearance when the two of you went out in public, flashed by so many photographers and curious people who want to poke through the small bubble you’ve made yourselves. He always places a hand on your back and holds your other in his strong hands, always pulling you to safety as fast as he can, more often than not shielding you from the flashes you weren’t as used to as he was with his body.

But you have seen bits and pieces of possibly the true Eita underneath. When you did public dates, he’d distract you with jokes and sleazy comments to get your mind off the stares of patrons or wait staff and make you look at him, annoyed that you found him and his inappropriate jokes funny. He was so used to it all that he held your hand through it and made you comfortable; distracted and put the spotlight straight on him. From the rest and for you.

Through it, you learned so much about him; how much of a ‘slut’ he was for tekka makki, ordering it as much as he can; how much he misses his younger sister— collecting things to send to her, presents for birthdays he missed and for achievements; how much he likes taking pictures of the sky when the it was exploding in palettes of pretty colours, and how much he enjoyed music. The actual love of his life. How much he fought for it when his father had expressed disappointment when he gave up a career in volleyball for it.

You learned so much, reached lengths that some don’t, but you were still at arm’s length. A misty fog hiding him and netting you away.

If you dared to step, it would be a leap of faith to see the other side.

“Do you want it to be real?”

You blinked at him, broken from your own train of thoughts. “Hm?”

“Us,” he said casually, drumming his fingers. You couldn’t make out his expression; how honest or how jokey he was. That was one thing you learned about Eita too— he was good at masking himself when he didn’t want you to find out what he was thinking. “Dating for real. Would you like that?”

Your heart sped up, and as you nervously licked your lips, your lashes fluttered. “I—I don’t know.” There was so much you don’t know, so much you would be gambling.

You don’t think you could win against Semi.

But you also don’t think you can stand to lose against him.

“Mhm.” He smiled charmingly. You didn’t know if it was real or not. Sometimes you just wanted to reach over his face and peel off as many masks as you can. The fake boyfriend, the singer, the celebrity, the poster boy badboy. Sometimes you didn’t know if you just wanted to do that to touch his face and make him tell you himself. Stop him from masking, from the pretty white lies, and unravel him. “Then I guess I have my answer, pretty girl.”

You frowned. “What answer?”

But before he could answer— or not, you have learned what expression Semi uses when he doesn’t want to answer anything, to easily deflect and distract like you were both in a fencing match — the door opened and one of his producers stepped in, greeting you and immediately going into a conversation about the new album.

Three months ago. . .

The pulsing of the club was trying to match your heartbeat. Dark in places until strobe lights zoomed across the corners of the private, underground party. This wasn’t your favourite scene, but you were here out of obligation; for Semi who was in the middle of throwing back shots and laughing with familiar and unfamiliar people. You felt more than an odd one out.

You know you don't belong here.

“I told Eita he should make a song about you in the new album.”

You looked at his manager. She had taken pity on you as your manager couldn’t come, an emergency at home, and nestled a spot beside you in the background of the chaos. But unlike your untouched mojito, she was already on her fourth Old Fashioned. She swirled the glass, thick with condensation.

“You did? Why?” Thankfully, the both of you were at the very back of the club, safe from the louder speakers and thicker crowds.

She smirked. “Why not? People already know Semi likes to draw inspiration from real life, painting heartbreak through chords and yearning through dragged vowels. It makes so much more sense for a musician to write about his girlfriend than not to.”

“I guess. . .” But you don’t really understand. Everything had been so overwhelming, and you were living through life operating through a schedule and expectancy.

You were here, in a seedy club somewhere underneath the city, on a goddamn Friday night, when you could be literally elsewhere.

Semi Eita’s life— if he was even comfortable to call it his own, you would never know because of his goddamned armour, shell made of lies and half-truths — wasn’t for you.

“I’m getting some air,” you said as a way of dismissal, setting your drink down into the nearest flat surface. She made a disgruntled noise at the back of her throat.

“Shouldn’t leave your drinks like that, honey. You don't know which predator around likes unattainable girls.”

Your lips curled. “Why would we invite people like that?”

She shrugged. “It’s showbiz. Glitz and glamour can only hide so much of the horror.” She winked as if that made it all better. “Which is why we’re raised stronger and smarter here.”

In the end, you took the goddamn drink with you, unfinished and more warm and wet than chilled. Outside felt like the appropriate portrait for what lay underneath; closed stalls and darkened alleyways. The respite of a decent city was just outside of where this corner of the club was hidden, so despite the protests in your head, you marched on, ignoring the crawl of fear in your skin as you managed to half run to an open space with so much more light and showed the city under a kinder skin. Here, the winds whipped and nipped at your less than prestigious outfit, shorter than what you would’ve liked, but you were playing a musician’s girlfriend; this was just another costume.

Kyoto looked kinder like this, felt kinder. You get lost in the sensation of open wind and twinkly lights reflecting on a calm river that you didn’t notice another person’s arrival until they cleared their throat.

You looked back, groaned, and went back to your staring. “Go away.”

Eita’s laugh was breathy and thick. He smelled of sweat and fiery shots. Like the leather jacket he always wore and the metal of his ring-clad fingers. “Can’t leave my girlfriend all alone in a seedy neighborhood by herself. I’d get stoned.”

“You’ll be fine,” you insisted— and sighed as he clocked his elbows next to you on the bridge. You tried not to look, but Semi had a way of putting the spotlight to him; in his mess of silver hair, dark eyes and wry grin. Despite the severity of the poster boy badboy look tonight, you can still see glimpses of his prettiness. Of that boyish charm that harped at your senses. If Eita was inhuman, he’d be a siren. “Tell your manager I’m fine. I just need to breathe in anything than other people’s reused oxygen and nicotine.”

He gave you a wry glance. “You know biology doesn’t work like that, right?”

“I know!” You blushed, glaring at him. “It’s a figure of speech.”

“Sure, babygirl.”

“Ugh, don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cos it makes me feel like a Babylonian whore.”

“Babygirl makes you feel like a whore? Also Babylonian?”

You kept his stupid smirky gaze without reeling your elbow back to land a blow on it, despite how much it felt like a bullseye all of a sudden. “Yes. So please. Stop.”

“Of course, don’t ever want my angel to feel like a Babylonian whore.”

“Ugh, you’re not even taking me seriously. Go away, Semi.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I thought we agreed on Eita.”

You sighed. “There’s no one around to fake that shit with. So it’s best you go back inside t—”

“No.” He had gotten close, you can feel his warmth, taste his smell. You froze. “Didn’t we agree that you call me Eita in private too? Thought we were friends, angel.”

You know you were going to regret it, but the flips in your stomach couldn’t hold to the determination of meeting his gaze squarely. “Are we friends?”

“Do you want us to be more?”

“I’m dense but I’m not that dense. We’ve been flirting with each other for months but I can’t figure out what you want from me. Semi Eita, do you want an actress or a girlfriend?”

He cradled your face in his hand, thumb brushing across your cheek as if he was testing for the softness, squishing it a little bit with a smile. His eyes darted on your lips, mimicking its slightly ajar state. “Can’t you be both?”

And before you could answer, conflicting emotions and thoughts stirring in a pot in your head, he raised your chin slightly, met your eyes as if making sure— to spot any hesitancy, warning signs, when he found none — he gently coaxed your lips apart with his own. A teasing, careful nip had evolved as soon as you let out a sigh. His hand moved to hold your face steady whilst his other pulled you closer from the back of your neck, tangling your hair as you gripped his shirt, his jacket, his neck. Leaving little nicks in his skin that made groans leave his mouth, reverberating against your own.

Kissing Semi Eita was like playing with fireworks— they’re familiar in their comfort, something you had done before, but he ignited you from the inside out and burned you in peels and explosions. He kissed slowly but deep, like a patient predator poking through his prey’s instincts as a mind game.

You were weak in your knees when you separated, the little ‘Whoa’ and cocky grin weren’t unmistakable as you panted against his chest, pupils wide as you melted under a boyish grin.

“So—”

A camera clicked, freezing both of you like an oil painting. You didn’t look up, didn’t want to look up as you clung against Eita. He maneuvered you against his body, shielding you as best as he could.

“Hey, what the fuck. Not cool.”

“I thought it was cute.”

You looked up then, the familiar voice like a bucket of cold water down your spine. Eita’s manager held her phone as she quickly typed something, barely looked up to your horrified expression or to the anger that was coming out of Semi’s.

“W-What the hell was that?” You wanted to sound stern, but you were shrilly with panic and embarrassment.

She raised an eyebrow. “For the press, sweetie. All your other photos were in public, inferred by so many people that it’s so obvious it's staged. This photo looks blurry enough that it can get mistaken for nosy fan behaviour. And that kiss—” She looked smug as she turned to Eita. “I told you you just gotta warm her up a little.”

“W-what?” You untangled yourself from him, watching as he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. When he opened them again, they were swirling with guilt.

“Y/n—”

“Were you ordered to-to soften me up?”

“You were too stiff, hon,” his manager called. “And Eita’s good with setting the scene and calming his leading ladies—”

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Eita roared, turning to you in a poise of calm, but his hands were reaching out and they were trembling. “Listen, it’s not like that— wasn’t like that, okay? They were—”

“You’re not even real to yourself, Semi,” you said quietly, tears coming out as betrayal egged them on. Eita swallowed his words, blinking, horrified, as you slapped his hands away. “You’re better suited to be an actor. Your lies are better than my acting.” You turned to his manager, fixing your jacket as you spat, “We’re done here. I’m not doing this bullshit anymore.”

But showbiz wasn’t that forgiving, not even to fake couples or actresses that were moulded into the perfect musician’s girlfriend. His side had roared how unfair it would be to break the tete tete so abruptly, after it was still deemed to be the ‘honeymoon’ period. So your side relented, but you were done with public appearances with him and your manager had agreed there were enough pictures of the both of you to put on social media for the clout. A stock that could last for at least six more months. But now, you wanted nothing to do with his life, his lies, or the man in question.

They could paint their pretty picture but you didn’t want to be in it.

Now. . .

Your manager had warned you beforehand.

“Semi’s going to visit you on set,” he announced, sighing haggardly as he came back from what you can assume was the call from his manager. “It’s his last public appearance with you, and then a month or two, we’re going to announce the break up, good enough time for the new season to get premiered and get the traction we’re fucking owed from their shitshow of an idea, and after that, you can take as long of a vacation with your family as you want.”

“Mh. Okay.”

He turned to you, concern laced in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

You tried for a smile. “Like you said, we have to get what we’re owed.”

The day on set was like any other, with you smiling at the hairdressers and makeup artists you spend almost an hour with for the day, arranging your looks to fit the scene and the character. You’re told that Eita has arrived whilst they’re finishing with the jewelry and shoe choices, and squeals had erupted when you had barely steeled yourself and the man you had avoided with a bouquet of flowers and a messy, slightly guilty smile.

“Hi,” he greeted. He was more nervous than you anticipated, still the same Eita with his black leather jacket and silver ring-clad fingers, but his eyes are shadowed and he has a jittery energy to him.

But you were an actress. Not as big as the ones he probably dated, but you were damn good enough to smile so warmly at him it was like a slap in the face. You got out of your chair to take the flowers, stifling a little when you felt his hands, but continued on with your ‘scene’ with gritted teeth. As much as you wanted none of him and his fake dating business, this was your job.

You inhaled the flowers, lilacs and hyacinths swirling under your senses, and giving him a loving look before you vaulted yourself into his arms. He froze. You feared your fake relationship might fail here, but he melted against your hold, wrapping his arms and breathing you in.

His touch is soft but possessive, almost; strong and comforting and it feels right to be here, to be like this. But you know better now, and you unravelled yourself from his touch, too afraid of what he can do to you.

You like him, that has been made strong just being this close to him. It scared you how much you felt like a putty in his hands. And when you look at him as you step away, the emotions there— strong but unreadable, a fish hook to reel you in — that you nearly stumble.

“Thank you for the flowers,” you said quietly. “And for coming.”

“Any—” He cleared his throat, running his hand through his hair before meeting your gaze with a soft smile. “Anything for you, angel.”

The rest of the day, you had been too busy to spend optimal time with him, running for your scenes, practicing lines, and repeating takes when it felt subpar. But minding him? He was in your peripheral vision as flashes of silver hair, a black leather jacket, to being able to hear his laughter, his voice among the chatter.

He felt like an earworm you couldn’t focus on but couldn’t get rid off, and he pressed to the side of your brain. Ever so present. Like an itch you can’t reach.

Halfway done with the shoot as you were being re-touched during break, your makeup artist was cut mid-gossiping about how the shoot might end early because the dark skies might become something more— Eita came up to the both of you, a determination and nervousness set on his posture. “Can I talk to you?”

“Uh,” You turned to your makeup artist who giggled and gave you a wink. “Okay.” Gathering the lines of your traditional dress, both of you were more than aware of several pairs of eyes watching as you disappeared from their view. With barely any people in here, you said, “This might be good.”

He turned to you, smile gentle, offering a hand. “I know a place.”

He watched you contemplate, Semi Eita a bit unmasked with that same nervous energy as you mulled it over— what could he want, what his apology would mean — before you took his hand and squeezed it. “Okay.”

Eita navigated the space as if he was familiar with it, humming underneath his breath while you had subconsciously focused on how his hand felt against yours to calm your stuttering, hoping heart. Warm and bony, the rings cool in comparison. It felt nice, and it definitely calmed you down. Then he stopped, and with the velocity of his quick walking pace, had almost ran you straight to him.

“Here.”

“Do you know this place?”

“I had a photoshoot here,” he mumbled, distracted as navigated through alleyways of low-hanging buildings. “And then I got inspiration out of nowhere. And I. . . wanted some peace and fuckin’ quiet. . . from everyone’s bullshit. Here.”

Here was a wisteria tree, the purple and lavender blossoms hanging low against a gazebo, completely hidden by the buildings around. They were naturally arranged like a frozen waterfall against the dark wood.

“It’s pretty, but. . .” You pulled back against his tug and he turned. “But why are we here? What do you need, Semi?”

“Semi?” He half smiled, eyes sad. “Weren’t we already cool with Eita?”

“I don’t think that’s the point of this, Eita.” As your hand moved, you both were made aware of the fact that you were still holding hands. As you tried to tug back your hand, his grip tightened. You frowned at him.

“Don’t let go,” he said quietly. Before he cleared his throat. “I want to apologise. About what happened to my manager, about everything. That’s not how I wanted to end this with you.”

End this seemed to echo steadily in your head, tightened like ropes across your heart. You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded, trying hard to keep the heartbreak dug deep into your chest. “Sure.”

“Everything I said was true. I wanted to be more with you.” Your heart stuttered, eyes widening as he dampened his lips and raised his chin to steel himself against your gaze. “Like every cliche in the damn fucking book, I wanted more. I was going to be selfish— I was being selfish. Flirting with you, being with you, liking you had come so easy. And I wanted more. Everyone else had the brush to my portrait, wanted me to fit in their fantasies. But for you, I came easy. Y/n, I— fuck, is it raining?”

And he wasn’t wrong; rain had splattered down from the heavens, the rolling grey clouds had now clumped and brought down the angels. For three seconds, it started in large droplets as a warning, before it raged.

“You know,” you said, blinking against the rain, the skies. “I’ve always wanted a movie kiss moment.”

“A movie kiss— oh.” And he was smirking like an asshole, and you swear, you almost regret it but then he held your face so delicately, bringing you closer. “Didn’t you hate the idea of getting hypothermia from a speech?”

“Then be quick, Eita.”

He laughed. “Be my girlfriend?”

Before you could answer, he brought your lips to his; this kiss felt different from the first one. This was fire and passion, a burning tide that roared and fought against the rain itself. When you both pulled away, both of you were gasping hard, catching each other’s eyes, and giggling at the stupidity, the sheer cheesiness.

“Oh god, let’s get out of this damn rain.” You took his hand and tugged him to the gazebo, grinning crazily at each other as you tried to dry your hair. And oh. “Oh no, my poor makeup. My makeup artist is going to kill me.”

“I think you look hot.” Eita smirked, taking out his leather jacket and placing it on the floor before he groaned, folding himself down to a sitting position and patted the space in between his legs. “Girlfriend. Don’t think the rain is stopping yet and I kinda wanna makeout.” But before you could reply, he blinked. “Unless you want to talk about everything. We can. We should. But I’m protecting you from everything and everyone else. I’m okay going public if you are. I’m—”

“Shh, what you are is silly,” you murmured, slotting yourself in between his legs and warming his cold cheeks. “The rain isn’t going to stop soon and as long as you’re serious about us—”

“—I am, more than anything —”

You grinned. “— then we’re going to be fine. Now kiss me, you silly ridiculous badboy.”

made by lavi <3

taglist: @asaitashi, @jadasz, @encrytpta, @kenmaslov3r​,​ @wuyaiscrow​, @sakusasimpbot​, @omiikeii​, @uhhkims​, @fiona782​, @jinsrever​,

[that-bl-bitch]

I posted 9,395 times in 2021

31 posts created (0%)

9364 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 302.1 posts.

I added 110 tags in 2021

#bad buddy - 41 posts

#bad buddy the series - 39 posts

#lovely writer - 7 posts

#futs - 4 posts

#lovely writer the series - 4 posts

#boys lockdown - 3 posts

#blih: id - 3 posts

#i promised you the moon - 3 posts

#ipytm - 3 posts

#genesib - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#yeah wtf is going on with keam cause um sir i would like that to be explored way more the crumbs im getting its just not enough to satisfy

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I really like Mork I wasn't expecting him to be so nice and genuine, from the synopsis (I watched the trailer too but months ago so I had no memory of it, all I could recall was that I vaguely remembered enemies to lovers) it made it seem like Mork was just as in love with Nan as Pi is so during the wiping of the hand scene happened I was expecting him to be mean and have ulterior motives so when he offered to buy another box I was like 'hmmm what's your plan here bub' but very quickly realized (I think in the very next scene, which they shared) that Mork liked Pi from the get go and Pi is just out here going around assuming Mork likes Nan cause they hang out a bunch, but Pi is just so focus on his crush on Nan that he can't see that Mork isn't trying to malicious with his actions and with the way Mork went about the picture thing I can see how Pi would look at that as something he was trying to do on purpose especially with his one track mindset of 'Mork likes Nan therefore he hates me and is after me'

A n y w a y s really no point of this I just wasn't expecting Mork to be like this and I'm just pleasantly surprised, I got hopes that this show is gonna be good one so I'm just a wee bit excited, excited enough to make pointless post about it apparently, also is it just me or is this giving off a bit of My gear and your gown vibe? Also not sure if anyone else clocked this or how important it is but when Mork was folding clothes he was folding kids clothes little girl clothes to be specific so that means a younger sister so maybe a cute scene or something having to deal with that in the future mayhaps

and another thing I feel like it would criminal not mention just how cute and nice Mix is in this, I had completely forgot he was even going to be in this cause I watched the trailer before I really cared who he was and before I got completely obsessed with atots, he is such a good actor it's wild

35 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 12:10:24 GMT

#4

I'm sorry but the only thing I want to do is scream about papa and daddy, episode two when they show how they met and how they ended up getting together was the cutest thing I've ever witnessed and I'm not sure it can be topped, plus a cute lesbian couple who are also planning on having a kid it's just wholesome gay relationships all around. Ugh it's so gooooood

38 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 15:33:58 GMT

#3

I would sell my first born child to be able to watch ep 7 right this very second

49 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 23:22:58 GMT

#2

also just the way pran did that with his friends around, I mean I know they were probably farther away near the bus probably but pran went from being worried that someone would see them talking at the university to licking his finger on a beach full of architect students and not giving a fuck

83 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 17:01:02 GMT

#1

Also can we talk about what a fucking queen Pa is like she runs the store when her parents aren't there and not just like a "we're just running out for 5 mins watch the shop" it sounds like she actually knows what shes talking about and what to do seems like she does all the fucking laundry in the house or at the very least hers and Pats she even went as far as going all the way to Pats dorm to do his laundry at one point like fucking queen and only in high school that queen

113 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 22:25:43 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[dyketectivecomics]

I started typing this out last night & work was slow today, so here's some backstory/building blocks for the Batcavers AU (long post is Long so under a cut it goes!):

Bruce's adventures in solo spelunking & cave cartography started about when he's 15/16 & goes back down the well on a whim. Martha gets worried when he starts spending too much time alone down there tho & makes Bruce promise to never go without a friend

his usual go-tos are Harvey & Tommy, but a couple times when Zatanna was in town, she joined him. we love childhood friendssss

(now insert some benign reasons for idk other heroes/rogues to join him somehow fdjksla idk man. these are early years stuff)

i know i said it earlier, but all the rooms/Major formations follow a shakespeare theme. all of bruce's friends call him a Nerd for it fjdakls;

Bruce becomes a professional spelunker & speleologist and develops out the cave for the public to enjoy & continually explores and maps out the system. he's a big advocate for Bats too

and that's how the Media dubs him..... "The Bat Man" fkjdsalf; ROLL CREDITS

So the Tour Guide Kids:

So Dick & Babs were some of the first kids hired who have stayed the longest, obvsly. (dick's nickname is still robin bc circus origin is the same lmao. Babs gets the 'Batgirl' nickname for a few years when she gets chased by a couple of them lmao)

Dick fell in love with the cave when Haly’s visited gotham and his parents took him on one of the tours. When Dick starts college in Gotham, he works at the cave part-time mostly in the ‘off’ season (but a little over one summer too when he doesn’t tour with halys bc of some summer courses he’s signed up for).

Babs has been working at the cave for a few years ahead of him. At this point in time, Dicks been promoted to a supervisor/senior guide position & Babs works mostly in admin and overseeing communication (& eventually earns the New nickname of 'Oracle' bc somehow she's always able to predict exactly what ppl are radio-ing her about lmao)

They’re constantly flirting and it’s an open secret that they’ve dated off and on at this point. Y’all this kinda shit happened SO much at my cave, the drama was RIDIC Aksjaksj

Tim and Steph start around the same time & stick around a little longer than most guides. Tim makes a niche for himself working retail and eventually moves over to the main ticket sales/admin office. He and babs absolutely Crush things when they're working overlapping days. Steph's somehow wormed her way to being under Dicks wing rn being trained as another Head Guide.

tim's nickname is 'red robin' is bc he suggested they all have dinner together after work & they somehow had the Worst Dining Experience Ever™. Steph gets her 'Spoiler' nickname bc she constantly brings up new TV show episodes and just launches right into her Thoughts™ without asking and well fjdk Spoils Things

Harper and Duke start around the same time too, they're both newer to the whole operation & are still learning the Ropes. (yall got some of my initial thoughts on duke, so i'll just touch that Harper gets the Bluebird nickname bc Dick or Steph gives it to her lmao)

You're probably wondering 'wait, where's the Other Kids?' well BUCKLE UP BUCKO, bc its SELF-INDULGENCE TIME

Damian is the easiest to explain, in this the al Ghuls run another rival company, Bruce and Talia met in college and have an off/on relationship (divorced once MAYHAPS 👀) either way, Damian’s the result of that, Talia and Bruce share custody.

Okay, realistically, Everyone’s backstories can stay p much the same or be finagled to work out realistically enough to skirt by. Cass’ backstory needs to be straight up thrown in the garbage in this bc the League doesn’t exist akjsk SO here’s what I’m proposing instead:

We’re gonna shoe-horn the Jason & Cass twin theory and also have Bruce adopt them both bc REASONS. (Those reasons are, they were trying to steal Bruce’s tires and they were doing a REALLY good job of it w/ Cass distracting ppl and Jason doing his nascar tryout lmao, but Bruce caught on bc This Is Gotham and was basically like ‘you little shits (laughing the entire time)’ and the rest is History

ANYWAYS all of that to say that all three of them grow up basically having the run of the the cave and doin what they want aksj, Damian’s a little young yet in this to be giving tours/working, but all 3 have varying levels of interest in the cave

Jason loves being a guide, but is a little abrasive when ppl ask REALLY dumb questions. He WILL sass them if it’s something just objectively dumb. (Someone asked me when we moved closer to the highway. Like SIR) Cass likes giving the off-trail tours more than doing the big guided groups & likes helping with training new guides, so she’s more hands-on in those situations. Damian rlly rlly wants to help map out areas with smaller openings to see if he can find More Cave but it gives Bruce a heart attack having him down there and disregarding all safety precautions so he’s constantly being benched from that

Oh ye, so for nicknames, Jay gets Red Hood bc he’s always wearing a red beanie even when it’s the middle of summer. Cass gets the Batgirl one passed down to her bc she’s a pro at catching stray bats/somehow corralling ‘em to leave the main rooms. Dami is the baby bat/robin bc he’s always following either Bruce or Dick around when he’s on the property.

Let the Not-So-Shitty Summer Job AU begin hahaha

[yehet-me-up]

Content Tag Game

Tagged by EXO sister-wife Kat @yeoldontknow​ <3 1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?

uhhh I definitely wrote half of several harry potter and lotr fanfics in HS but that was ‘the dark times’ many moons ago. so as an adult this is my only fandom! just stumbled into kpop and stumbled onto fanfics in the most backwards way possible (was sent a meme of a 1D ‘imagine’ and was like hey I wonder if they have these for kpop and then I found them and they were not a meme, but were fucking incredible AND NOW 4 YEARS LATER (started August-ish 2017???) here we are hahaha)

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

oh dear god i just remembered I have an AO3 account..... WHOOPS, shit 😅 might need to, y’know, update that at some point. jfc adhd object permanence is something else.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

Personally it’s sci fi/fantasy, but here in the fanfic space I’d say..... uhh slice of life, romance, angst but make it a happy ending?? fanfic is a way for me to share all the sort romantic hopeful feelings I have about love and life and friendship and purpose 💕

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

Used to be a pantser when I started this (and when fics used to be like ?? 3k-5k) now that fics in general are longer for one-shots and series my good lord I need an outline. Especially for exo mall which is *insert meme of crazy guy with the bulletin board* a lot for my brain haha

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

I’d say mine are usually 5k or so?? some series were shorter per chapter, depending on subject matter. I tend to write like... interconnected long as frick oneshots, so i don’t count those as chapters ☠️

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

uhhhhh good question haha. my book was 95k and I think exo mall is like *dammit math* 140k or something that has significantly gotten out of hand. I have two more fics so it will probably be like 180ish when it’s done?? not including the drabbles to come haha 

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I loved No Quarter and torturing Kat with her husband, also staying up all night to finish Chanyeol’s exo mall knowing kat had NO idea it was coming was a BLAST. Kyungsoo’s exo mall was one of the most ‘in the flow’ writing experiences i’ve ever had. I wrote this Baek oneshot at like 3am when i couldn’t sleep once and tbh it felt like I wrote it in a dream. ja;slkfjasd I love so many of these this is like a trip down memory lane, so I’m going to be a wh*re and say two more haha.  This is the most honest and close to ‘real life’ thing I think I’ve written on here (and also one of the only sex scenes I didn’t lose my goddamned mind trying to write a;sldkfja;sdf). And lastly Ablaze, which was the longest thing I’d written (I think) and let me know that hey? maybe I could write a book someday <3

11. favorite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

This request for Exo Mall Baek was such a joy to write! And for some reason this Taeyong drabble makes me wish I had the time/energy to write it into a full story, it gripped me so much when I wrote it, like a movie had fully downloaded into my brain out of nowhere.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

For sure! I’d say found family is a big one. Trusting that you’ll find your place even if things don’t make sense or you feel unsure. Believing that love is worth the risk and fear of trusting someone ;laksjdfal;sd. That love can be big gestures and super intense, but that after that fades away it’s the small daily moments that matter most - the people who stay and listen when you’re sad, holding hands and forehead kisses, taking care of people when they’re sick or scared or just need company, showing up to try again or to communicate even when things are hard. 

Someone commented on a fic of mine ages ago that I helped them see that real love (of that small, daily, consistent kind) is possible and MAYHAPS I cried because underneath it all, that’s what I’d want people to take away - that love of all kinds is scary, but it’s always worth it in the end <3

13. current number of wips?

Surprisingly just ... 3? wow how time has changed hahaha. I have Jun + Baek for exo mall (plus some drabbles but that will be something people write in about, so I wouldn’t consider them wips) and then I maaaaay continute on here with the Jun + Min regency baes series. We shall see :)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

1. I can’t NOT write Baekhyun as the biggest cheesy dork in the entire world 2. That I’ll always have endless fantasy world to live in. I have to try actively to not start new WIPs because it’s so damn easy to be inspired. If I’m ever bored I know that I can jump into some story and let myself be carried away for a while 3. that who and how i am in real life is not usually the same person that i am when it comes to the vibe of my writing, and that that’s totally okay <3

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“I wish it had been with someone like you, though,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Someone like me?” he says, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

You look down at the floor, trying to figure out how to put how he makes you feel into words. “Yeah, someone strong, and steady. And safe.”

He lets out a laugh. “Safe? That sounds awfully similar to boring.”

“No, no. You don’t understand,” you say emphatically, coming to stand fully in front of him, grabbing his other hand as well. “You never ask me to be anything but who I am. You’re patient, kind, caring. For the longest time I thought that falling in love would be stifling. That it would… I don’t know, take my independence. Take my spirit. Make me into someone I don’t recognize.”

You step closer, holding his face in your hands. “But I can’t think of anything I want more than to be with you. You make me the best version of who I am. I don’t know how it is for you, being with me. But when I’m with you, it just feels like… home,” you finish gently.

- from Kyungsoo’s exo mall because THIS is how I feel about falling in love now, and this story was me working out what I believed about the process (like a goddamned emo bish haha)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

For a moment you allow yourself this weakness. It won't destroy you to admire the strong lines of his body, the intensity and focus in the set of his brows, the deep, warm color brown of his eyes as they - oh lord, he's looking directly at you. As he notices you watching him his lips press into a small smile, inclining his head towards you.

'Oh no,' you say, mortified. In a breath you've blinked and drawn your arm through Maggie's, weaving your way through the crowd and dragging her with you.

'What's wrong?' she hisses in your ear, slightly off-kilter from the drink and revelry. 'You're going to tear my arm off.’.

'Sorry, he -' With a hand you push through the front doors, gulping in the cool night air and breathing deeply to steady the erratic pace of your heartbeat. 'Maggie, what's happening to me? He looked at me and I felt so... naked. I can't explain it.'

She realizes you aren't in actual distress and laughs. 'Good. About time you fell in love. I'm delighted.'

- From perhaps a future chapter of Jun and Min regency baes series....

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

Thank you so much. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. This fandom brought writing back into my life after such a long time away and I had no idea I would love it so much. The friends it’s brought me and the kind words that made me cry or cheered me up on a shitty day or made me laugh out loud and the watching other writers grow on their journeys. Getting to hear how something I made could help you feel less alone or less sad on a shitty day is all I’ve ever wanted from sharing all this. Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me <3

Tagging anyone who sees this who would like to do it, even if you don’t consider yourself a “real writer” yet (yes you are, stop doubting yourself!!!!) 😘

[kateis-cakeis]

mmmm.... mayhaps we get an analysis of wilbur's leadership of l'manburg and how good he was as president?

Hi, Anon.... Today has been a long day of L’Manberg posts and I’ve decided to come answer your ask now :)

I think it’s a good time to. Sure, I could go through all the streams leading up to the election, the night itself, and the day of the results, but honestly? A lot of those quotes would be more of Alivebur as a politician than a leader, and you asked for leadership, so I’m gonna use the quotes I have, and the new ones I got too...!

I hope that’s enough for you, Anon, so let’s go!!

First off, I wanna say that I personally don’t care anymore about how good he was as President, and like, since I wasn’t a person living in L’Manberg’s system I can’t really judge that too deeply :PPP But I think through quotes, you can tell he really cared.

As for his leadership... 

“Ultimately, you’re the leader here.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 1:31, 2nd Aug)

^ This was said by Tommy on the day of the revolution. Making it clear that from the start, the founders saw Alivebur as the big leader, they looked to him for leadership. At this point, the general.

And you can see, he really cared about his people as seen here:

“Dream. When you imprisoned our men, slayed us, and your men essentially did great wrongs against my people, I let go, I let it slide on the condition that we would have emancipation from you, we’d have our freedom, and we wouldn’t have to reach a point of disagreement that we were reaching.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 24:36, 2nd Aug)

and here:

“We don’t wish for bloodshed, we don’t wish for war, we don’t wish to show our power in any way, we just want our freedom, we just want emancipation, independence.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 26:02, 2nd Aug)

and especially here:

“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)

All of these above quotes show that Alivebur’s leadership was strong in his message, unwavering. He makes it clear several times what he wants. And, when all seems to be lost, he turns to surrender to ensure no more blood would be shed.

I’d say that’s pretty good leadership for wartime, ensuring his people’s safety.

As for leadership post war, we have quotes like this:

“Look, Tommy we’ve always allowed women. Do you remember when we were making the decree it was, it doesn’t matter your sexuality, your gender, your race, you can join L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Niki joins L'Manberg: 18:16, 6th Aug)

Just think this is a good one to point out, to show that you know, people were allowed to join L’Manberg and such (if they weren’t American of course :PPP)

And also while Alivebur was President he pushed for tourism:

“We need money, right? We’re not gonna get it through mining, we’re not gonna get it through domination of our enemies, right? We get it- tourism. We need to start tourism.” - (Wilbur’s L'Manberg Needs Tourism: 21:04, 9th Aug)  

He specifically points out that they’re not gonna get it through domination of their enemies, which I think is interesting to note. Instead of going after others, or even mining, he strives for tourism, bring the people in you know? Which isn’t so bad, that’s a normal thing for a country to do.

“Tommy, do you see what I see? They trade drugs, that makes them effectively drug dealers. Tommy, we have tourists.” - (Wilbur’s L'Manberg Needs Tourism: 1:09:20, 9th Aug)

And then they get their tourists ;) This ^ is when they sign the deal with the PPA (Ponk, Purpled, and Alyssa) to supply things to them, but I don’t think that was ever really used.

Finally, the last quote I would like to use is this one:

“I said, the one thing I appreciate about Big Q, right, no matter what he says, right, he cares about L’Manberg, right. He really cares about L’Manberg. Even if his policies are direct opposites of mine, he at least cares about L’Manberg. These people just want power, they just want attention, right? So how about, in the case that Schlatt or Coconut, gets more votes than POG or SWAG, we make the POSWAGs” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:07:38, 20th Sep)

I think that shows as President, what Alivebur really cared about, was people caring for L’Manberg. Which was why, if not him, he wanted Quackity to be President. And I think that makes it clear that Alivebur’s leadership wasn’t so bad.

And wasn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be these days, but then I can’t really say how good he really was. And sure he tried to rig an election once, but he failed to, and never got that off the ground, so maybe that makes him a bad leader, but honestly???

I think Ghostbur says it best:

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

He did... at the end of the day... have the longest era of peace in L’Manberg. Maybe that says something for Alivebur’s leadership, yeah? :)

[mylifeiskara]

fic writer asks

I was tagged by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold and @burninghoneyatdusk!

Name(s): queenemori (though there’s an underscore on Twitter)

Fandom(s): The 100, though I used to write for the webcomic Check, Please! and I wrote one Stucky fic and some Harry Potter things that I hate now lol.

Where you post: AO3

Most popular one-shot (by kudos): My actual most popular one-shot is for Check, Please, but if we’re just counting t100, then it’s In Dads We Trust! This was a Bellarke/Memori prompt in which Bellamy and Murphy are stay-at-home dads with a Youtube channel and they get in a feud with Josephine, a popular mommy blogger. It was so much fun to write, and I’m glad people enjoyed it!

Most popular multi-chapter (by kudos): That would be You’re Already Breaking My Heart, aka my Bellarke To All the Boys AU, aka the reason this fandom trapped me in the first place, because it was my first fic. I hold it near and dear to my heart because it got me writing again after a long period of just not and I would not have the many other fics I have written for this fandom without it.

Favourite story you’ve written so far: We Don’t Need To Say It, my Memori actor AU! The longest fic I have ever written and the one I had the most fun writing as well. There aren’t very many long Memori stories and I knew I wanted to write one. This was rather self-indulgent, but I’ve gotten a lot of nice comments and other people seemed to enjoy it which makes me incredibly happy.

Fic you were nervous to post: Probably you’re the last best thing i’ve got going or danger has a hold on me (but i’m safe in your arms). The first, because it is my first Murven fic and I was not sure how some people would react to me posting for a different ship than I normally shout about. I’m pretty big on multi-shipping and I know some people are not lol, but I have gotten some nice comments on that one that have made me excited for some other Murven things I have in the works. And the latter because it is smut and I do not enjoy writing smut/do not like the smut I write, but I had the idea and it would not leave me alone so I had to get it written. 

How do you choose your titles?: Typically song lyrics, but a few of my titles are more based on the idea or something someone says in the fic.

Do you outline?: Yes, I outline obsessively (I’m a Virgo). We Don’t Need To Say It had two full outlines, one for the fic itself, and one for four seasons of the fake TV show I created for the story lol. 

Complete works: 25!

In-progress works: Currently one (but not for much longer). Piece Me Back Together is my Definitely, Maybe AU, featuring dad!Murphy, so it has Clurphy, Murven, and Memori all in one.

Coming soon/not yet started: Some holiday fics are mayhaps on the way 👀. A bunch of prompts that I need to catch up on, including another dad!Murphy story where he has a TikTok cooking show and a Memori Anastasia AU, among others! And in terms of multi-chaps, I have finally started the Bellarke Emma AU I kept talking about this summer, and I hope to post the first chapter in the coming week. And I’m working on my Gossip Girl rewatch for my Murven/Bellarke s1-s2 AU of that. It will most definitely be more Murven than Bellarke because I have not been paying attention to Dan and Serena on this rewatch but I feel like I’m okay with this outcome.

Prompts?: Yes! I’m accepting one-shot and WIP prompts through @t100fic-for-blm! There are a few prompts that are mine on our prompt ideas board and you can also check out our carrd for more general info. I typically write Memori, Bellarke, AU Murven, and I guess I dabble in Clurphy now too. But I’m honestly happy to write anything if Murphy is there.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I’m excited about a lot of things, but probably the Anastasia AU because I love that movie so much and I had actually been thinking about a Memori AU for it, so to actually get to write one is going to be a lot of fun!

Tagging/sending love: @mobi-on-a-mission | @bookwormforalways | @imunbreakabledude | @stealing-jasons-job | @useyourtelescope | @sparklyfairymira and whoever else wants to do it!

[devilgem-archive]

care to. elaborate on ur seele herrscher of death swap au. pls 🥺

O MG weeps...i didnt expect anyone to be interested tbh, thank you for asking<33333

lets see lets see...

-seele was taken to an orphanage when she lost her parents to the honkai disease. i headcanon her birth parents to have been abusive, so the seeds of bitterness have long since been sowed into her once gentle heart...although she felt guilty for feeling indifferent, anything was better than her old home life. it was a new chance to be with a better family. right?

-the orphanage turned out to be a ruse;  it was grounds for honkai experiments. all in the name of humanity, they said. seele found herself miserable than ever.

-one day, her eyes began glowing red...but surely that must be the effects of the experiments, the scientists deduced.

-until they start mysteriously disappearing one by one.

-seele’s honkai companion is assaka. when they split they are rozaliya and liliya, named after her late adopted* sisters. (*technically not, but they still saw each other as family)

-the real olenyeva twins were one of the only good things seele had in her life before they kicked the bucket

-funfact: seele and roza+lili made a promise that if by some chance they made it out of this hell alive, theyll find a new mommy & daddy and live together as family. oh, seele added she wants their new home to be near the ocean!!

-cocolia is a valkyrie + researcher who was complicit in her faction’s experimentation on orphaned children. it pained her truly, but accepted it was a necessary evil to protect humanity. it was only when shit hit the fan did she immensely regret everything..

-she knows nothing she’ll ever do in a lifetime will amend for the pain she allowed to happen to innocent children. she fought in the frontlines, tried with the power of maternal love to break through the HoD’s armor of malice perished with a dying seele in her arms...in a different life, she would have surely taken seele and other orphans in need as her own children...

-cocolia’s words reminded seele of the soul she used to be: a little girl who yearned for nothing more than a loving family, a happy life. could she really have another chance at life? haha probably not...unless?

-when she was rlly rlly young, bronya fell into a comatose state after an accident that involved helluva head trauma. no one thought she’d make it, until a certain somebody (jk idk if its actually otto) made the zaychiks an offer they couldnt refuse.

-the core of serenity was carefully implanted into her body, and after waiting, waiting, and more waiting, bronya zaychik finally opened her eyes, groggy and feeling like she’d awoken from a blurred dream.

-except it wasnt quite bronya anymore. truth is, seele’s humane side sensed this opportunity to insert itself into bronya’s waned consciousness. whether this completely overrode the original soul of the body is a mystery, but bronya certainly wasnt same ever since.

-she used to be full of emotion, more bright. she’s become more reserved ever since she woke up. her emotional capacity seemed to be dampened a great deal. her parents couldnt help feeling like they lost their daughter in some way...but she was alive, that’s what matters most to them.

-as far as bronya is concerned, she had just gotten lucky to survive her condition.

-life went on as normal (as it could get). until one fateful day, bronya found herself covered in blood. with her left eye glowing crimson. she doesnt remember anything, aside from her mother laying limp on the crimson-stained floor and her father looking at her like she was a demon...bronya found herself completely alone after that. the memory was a blur but the guilt still nags at her.

-deep beneath her reserved exterior, she feels useless and that she has mistakes she needs to make up for, so she’s constantly trying to protect others as much as she can as away to compensate.

-bronya respects the heroic valkyrie cocolia as an idol. some part of her admiration run deeper than that, almost like a daughter looking up to a mother.

-when the time comes, seele is going to have a blast toying with ‘oneechan’

-kiana is still a boisterous meathead as she could ever be, of course what’s a kiana without a compulsive need to look out for others even at the expense of her own self. she wasn’t always like this...but an incident that left her father badly injured forced her to awaken to a sense of responsibility.

-for the longest time, before meeting mei & bronya, she there was no one she could rely on, but she covered her loneliness with a bright smile (though it never reached her eyes). meeting her friends made her feel secure for the first time in so long.

-bronya and mei are equally important to her, but when HoD reawakened and mei began going down her own path to rescue someone important from her past, kiana felt she fell back into square one all over again...

-was she too reliant on them? she shouldnt have loosened up so much, if she had stayed on her guard she could’ve fixed this and saved bronya and everyone would still be with her

-is bronya/kiana a thing here?? mmmmmm mayhaps. kiana being a hopeless lesban for mei at first, then eventually develops stronger feelings for bronya post-HoD. imagine it...

-mei is more reserved and unsure of showing her kinder side to anyone who isn’t kiana or bronya. she’s a little moody even. she’s been this way ever since her Important Person supposedly perished in an experiment run by her father. her relationship with ryoma has become difficult after that.

-im tempted to make mei’s Important Person be sirin lol. imagine raiden sirin being mei’s younger half-sister, but ryoma didnt want to admit he impregnated another woman (sirins mom) to keep his name in the clear, and didnt want his babygirl to feel betrayed, so he claims sirin is adopted.

-sirin being her own person here means idk whether to keep her as the HoV or give that to kiana.should mei still be the HoT...help me

[sunlightwoo]

hours and ancient 💕

oooooh these are interesting ones

ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?

i think my first ever fic that i’ve ever posted on this blog was this one joshua oneshot that i wrote for an ex-friend but i liked the idea of it because it was a soulmate au!! actual online though would be on wattpad, however i deleted it cause the plot was so messy and toxic i was like BLEHHH cause seventh grade me did not know what she was doing when she wrote about ross lynch LMAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

hours: longest wip or completed fic?

hmmm, i had to go into my google docs for this cause I did it in terms of word count LOLOL but i think it varies in a way since i write both fic series and like fic oneshots? for a fic oneshot: it was roughly about 4k from this summer when I collabed with my friends and surprisingly it was both Joshua’s and Wonwoo’s that were 4k. In terms of of a fic series, I think it was this one NCT Dream Thriller AU that I published way back in 2018 and it stands at 43.4k words? I thought about revamping it and publishing it once again but idk yet, mayhaps i shall post it.

SEND ME Q’s ABOUT FICS IN TERMS OF TIME