#the line delivery throughout this whole franchise KILLS ME

[universallyfatal]

"Y'know... he was just a guy 🥺👉👈"

[trulyinspiringmovies]

Scream VI

“Scream VI” starts off extremely promising, but ends up feeling like just another “Scream” sequel.

Sam Carpenter has moved to New York to look after her younger sister, Tara as she attends college. While Tara wants to forget about the Ghostface incident a year ago and just party like a college student, Sam seems to have difficulty moving on from it. Public opinion and baseless conspiracy theories shine a bad light on Sam, which is starting to chip away at her self-image. Her fears manifest once more as a new Ghostface takes up the mantle, swearing to prove that Sam is the murderer she thinks she is.

Just to be clear, I’m going to be spoiling things from this movie, so if you haven’t watched it already and you don’t want to be spoiled, then read this review after you’ve watched it. I usually don’t try to include spoilers in my reviews, but sometimes I feel like I have to in order to illustrate my points better. After how promising the previous movie was, I had high expectations for this film. The beginning of this movie delivered the creativity that I’ve come to enjoy from this film so much. We all know that the Scream movies start off with a kill and that’s our introduction to the movie’s Ghostface. Sometimes the formula is shaken with the multiple fake-outs and this time is no different. I’ll give it to these new requel movies. They know how to open a Scream movie extremely well. The first one had Tara being the first survivor of the initial Ghostface attack and going on to be a main character for the rest of the movie. This movie has an instant reveal of Ghostface, only to establish a brand new Ghostface. It’s so much fun and I was so excited to see what this movie had in store. The rest of the movie was a bit lackluster. It was littered with underdeveloped characters that acted as cannon fodder. I know these movies always have these types of characters, but this movie fails to develop any of them. Mindy has a new girlfriend in this movie who dies, but when that scene happens, I felt nothing because she wasn’t a real character. I didn’t know anything about her other than the fact that she was dating Mindy. The same goes for the reveal of the Ghostface killers. I like the idea of shaking up the formula once more and introducing a mastermind behind the two Ghostface killers, but they were so underdeveloped that I didn’t care. One of them just likes having sex and the other one was here throughout the whole movie contributing virtually nothing. Dermot Mulroney’s performance as Detective Wayne Bailey left much to be desired. I thought his line deliveries were off like he was overacting with his face for too much of the movie’s runtime. The whole movie just felt aimless because I couldn’t really play along and try to solve the mystery. This movie gave me nothing to work with. I will say, the action set pieces were really great in this movie. They’re probably the best in the entire franchise. The problem was that it felt like this movie was just going from one set piece to another without much thought. This movie, like the last, also flirts with the idea of Sam becoming the evil killer that everything thinks she is. I would really like to see something meaningful come out of this hinting because it just feels like the movie uses it to try and seem interesting without actually committing to the idea. I would love to see the fall of Sam and watch her become the best Ghostface there ever was because she’s had experiences that no other Ghostface has had. Also, I don’t understand why she had to put on the Ghostface costume at the end. It felt out of nowhere. I thought it was going to lead to the public catching her killing the Detective while wearing the costume and putting two and two together. It would’ve been an excellent cliffhanger and I’m sad that the end of the movie basically says it's done with this whole killer Sam idea. I’m also bummed out about Sydney Prescott not being in this movie. I know that it’s because of a pay dispute behind the scenes, and I feel bad that she feels like she wasn’t being paid what she was worth. It still just sucks to not see the main character that started this whole thing off. I hope she comes back around in the next movie and gets a proper send-off because if she never returns to the franchise, it feels like a lackluster way to finish Sydney’s story.

★★★

Watched on March 9th, 2023

[scorpionyx9621]

Ethan Winters Doesn't Get Enough Love and that's Heartbreaking

So I'm gonna preface this by saying yes: there will be spoilers to the ending of Resident Evil 7 and Village. If you don't want that scroll away now. Leave, shoo, outta here, go on git, *angrily shakes broom and smacks it against the door to make a loud, aggressive sound*

——————————————————————————

Okay so I get Ethan was the "villain" of Resident Evil Village because he killed everyone's favorite vampire mommy but this is in fact a Resident Evil game. Alcina and her daughters and the rest of the four lords were always going to die. It's the nature of the game. It didn't help that Capcom flipped the script and leaned VERY heavily into the villains of Village when it came to the marketing. (Hell I'll bet Capcom is literally kicking itself for making Lady D the first chapter boss) but they really went heavy on making Ethan kind of take a backseat to Lady Dimetrescu and Heisenberg for this game. Which I think is really kind of shitty because we get to see Ethan at his best in this game both in terms of characterization and development.

I need to give a shout-out to Todd Solely, Ethan's mocap and voice actor. We don't get to see Ethan's face in the game so we have to go off of every little action Ethan does and every bit of dialogue we get from Ethan we pay a closer bit of attention to. It's like when you lose one of your senses every other sense tries to make up for its loss. Some truly stand out moments of this were.

1. When Ethan is rejecting Heisenberg's offer of using Rosemary as a weapon and Ethan just spits back at Heisenberg "Rose is not a weapon, fuck you." Ethan freaking lowers his head and leans into the fuck you. You can just tell Ethan is not having ANY of this at all and while I know a lot of people wanted an option where we could have sided with Heisenberg, I'm glad we didn't. Forcing us to pick between Mia and Zoe in RE7 was already a nightmare. Like would the option have been nice yes, but the canon of Resident Evil is being held together by duct tape and spit at this point. That would have torn down the whole house of cards that is the continuity of this franchise.

2. When Ethan is in the village and after he watches the floor cave under Elena and he watches her burn to death. Ethan starts audibly crying, "why does everyone around me keep on dying?" And when he leaves out the window he slams his fist against the pane and yells out why this is happening to him again. You partially wanna go 'come on Ethan, you're in a Resident Evil game, get with the times.' but you realize Ethan thought he was free, he thought if he and Mia cooperated with the BSAA and did what Chris told him to everything would be okay. Yet here he is, back again in Resident Evil hell and he's had three years of him trying to rebuild his life after an EXTREMELY traumatic event just thrown out the window.

3. When The Duke points out that the jar Ethan has is in fact Rose's head and we see him drop the jar like it was a bomb. We saw Ethan's brain literally break. That's his daughter, the one thing he loves more than anything in this world, in this tiny jar. His whole world has shattered. And then when The Duke tries to make light of the situation the abject fucking hatred and pure venom in Ethan's voice. Especially the line "You'll pay if I find out this is a lie." With the delivery of an almost animalistic, hatred-filled growl. It sent a shiver down my spine. It felt like Ethan was willing to freaking maul The Duke with his bare hand (and what's left of the other one)

4. It's not as serious as the last three, but it's actually rather heartwarming. The whole opening portion of the game where Ethan is walking around the house with Rosemary commenting on things throughout the house. There's so much tenderness in this opening. This is a bit of a contrast to the very terrified but almost cynical towards the end delivery we got for Ethan with RE7. We're now seeing a much more tender and loving side to Ethan. Especially when Ethan is pretending to be one of Rosemary's stuffed monkeys. It's silly and cartoonish but it really shows the depth of Ethan and just how much he loves his daughter.

5. Ethan's become such a little shit by the time Village rolls around. He may be yet another human* trapped in a Romanian hellscape with mutated nightmares, but by god is Ethan willing to verbally beat you down if you step in his way. "Looks like your outside matches your inside now, psycho witch." he shouts at Lady D. in her Dragon form." Or when he talks down to Moreau after killing him. "In death as he was in life. Disgusting." And the delivery of that disgusting too was just *chef's kiss*

6. When Ethan is killed by Miranda and is in the Purgatory state with Eveline. Even though the effects make it seem really hard to make out what Ethan is trying to say, I also think it genuinely is because Ethan is freezing, his body has gone cold, his body has given up on him at this point and Eveline reveals the truth. Ethan has always been dead. Ethan is shocked at this realization. His whole life for these past three years have been a lie. But to see Ethan drag himself up again solely for the sake of saving his daughter? UGH. SO GOOD.

7. The entire ending cutscene where Chris is helping carry Ethan and Rosemary out of the Altar and back to the Helicopter. It's honestly so heartbreaking. Once we saw Ethan's good hand start to disintegrate, we knew. Ethan's time was up. Ethan's body had taken on too much damage and the Mold couldn't keep him alive much longer. His final words while alive in this phase still make me choke up every time. "Mia..? I'm so sorry... I love you... Keep Rose safe. Watch over her.. Teach her to be strong.. Goodbye Rosemary." In Ethan's last conscious moments the only thing that mattered to him were his wife and his daughter. I.. i need a moment..

Ethan Winters was different than any other Resident Evil protagonist. He wasn't some ex-air force pilot turned sharpshooter, super-cop who punches boulders. He wasn't an ex-army master of unlocking turned international savior and founder of a paramilitary group created to stop bioweapons. He wasn't a rookie cop turned direct operative for this universe's version of the Secret Service who saves the president's daughter. Ethan is just a regular systems engineer from California who loves his wife so much he was willing to drop everything for a chance to save her. Ethan's just a civilian forced to survive the world of Resident Evil. Hell, Ethan didn't survive, Ethan Winters was killed by Jack Baker after Jack stomped on Ethan's head. What we know as and see as Ethan is really a collection of mold that re-animated Ethan and took over his body and personality. It's downright horrific when you think about it.

Ethan being a dead man walking is something that I've thought about a lot since finishing Village for the first time. To know that Ethan isn't Ethan, but instead is just a collection of mold cells that used his body and has dog-eared his consciousness and personality is insane to me. Not only was Ethan able to resist Eveline, the source of the mold that created the thing that became Ethan, but he was able to resist The Black God (the Megamycete) completely. The mold collective that was Ethan Winters was able to fully retain Ethan's shape, form, appearance, consciousness and be completely unaffected by most external factors. Even in Resident Evil biological terms, what Ethan Winters was, was nothing short of a miracle. When Ethan "dies" in the game during a game over screen we don't see him mutate into your usual flavors of Resident Evil biological nonsense. We never saw Ethan disintegrate after dying (if he did it was done off screen but bleh) Ethan was a full-fledged human while absolutely not being one.

The complications and plot holes that this opens are very numerous. Why exactly was Ethan able to maintain so much of himself despite purely being a mold being? How was Ethan able to resist even Mother Miranda even while being directly connected to the Megamycete? The source of ALL of the mold infection? How was Ethan able to sexually reproduce and make a (mostly) normal human? How did Mia not get re-infected with the mold by having sex with Ethan? Why didn't Ethan mutate as opposed to say Jack despite having similar regenerative abilities? If the BSAA was able to physically remove mold spores from both Ethan AND Mia, how did they not realize that Ethan was even more infected than Mia?

Don't get me started on Mia, she's getting her own rant soon enough but Mia while being just as much a victim of this situation as Ethan, Mia Winters is easily one of the worst characters as a person in Resident Evil. She lied to Ethan about her occupation as a researcher for The Connections, she physically assaults Ethan on multiple occasions (she was infected by Mold and under Eveline's influence I'll give her a pass here.) But most importantly Mia is fully aware that Ethan is still infected with the mold. This is compounded by the fact that originally in RE7 we were told that Mia was just Eveline's handler. When in reality at the Exposition Bombing at the end of Village we see a photograph (see below) showing that Mia and Miranda weren't strangers. They knew each other enough to take a picture with each other. Mia wasn't just a handler, she was a full-blown researcher and scientist with The Connections and she was fully aware of the extent of Ethan's infection. Yet she willingly allowed herself to be impregnated by a molded Ethan. She sits on the secret for a long time, she almost even tells Ethan the truth in an argument a week prior to the events of Village. Yet she doesn't. I want to give a lore-related theory/explanation to this. I can't remember exactly which game it was but Wesker had entered into a file that he hypothesized that the human psyche plays an impact on mutations on highly mutagenic strains of viruses. I.e. think about how Alexia became this bulbous, insect queen in her second form because she saw herself as royalty, genetically superior and above all else. Mia had no idea what would have happened if she told Ethan the truth, she didn't know what would have happened to Ethan whether he would have just had a full-on mental breakdown or if he would have mutated because his psyche would have become so fractured. Let alone what would have happened to her family. Because while Mia may have been duplicitous and lied to Ethan both in RE7 and Village: Mia genuinely loved Ethan. I don't think there's any way we can debate that.

(The person on the far right of the image is Mia. The woman to the left of the little girl is Miranda. The little girl is Eveline. Mia and Miranda weren't strangers. Which begs the question: why did Miranda keep Mia alive in her lab?)

Ethan Winters is a character who has left a huge impact in only two games. While he's your generic everyman protagonist with a little bit of biting sarcasm in RE7. By the time Village rolls around Ethan is a fully-fleshed character. We get our actions survivor back but this time with basic military training, even more sarcasm, and now with the full range of emotions. We get to see Ethan as a tender and loving father towards his daughter, from criticizing Mia (Miranda) for reading a scary pop-up book with Rose to him swaddling his daughter as she starts stirring and crying. To holding onto Rose tightly but ever-so tenderly as Ethan is physically falling apart and carbonizing. We watch Ethan cry as the people he tries to help die around him, we see Ethan filled with abject and carnal rage towards his adversaries. Ethan truly is Resident Evil's titleholder for best dad. (Sorry Barry lol) and for a character with no face that we can see during the main game, Ethan is exceptionally expressive and emotional and shockingly so human for this franchise.

I'm beyond excited for what Shadow of Rose: the DLC for village will bring. My theory is that since Rosemary has gained access to a remaining sample of the Megamycete, we probably will see Ethan again in some way/shape/form since the Megamycete absorbs the consciousness of all who die within the reach of its roots. Whether or not Ethan is corrupted or he finally reunites with the daughter he loved so much is yet to be seen. But I would love to see a tender moment where Ethan pulls Rose into the tightest of hugs. He remarks how he's been inside of her watching her through her connection to the mold. Ethan would be profusely apologetic about not being there for her, but that he's so incredibly proud of the strong young woman she's become.

Ethan Winters deserves more love and recognition and it's a crime he doesn't get his pearls. I love this daddliest catch of a man who literally goes through HELL just to save his daughter. It broke my heart when Ethan died, just like it did when I saw Piers die from Resident Evil 6. But we got a fantastic character out of all of these two games. So go on Mr. Winters, smile. I hope whatever afterlife you are on you're loved and valued.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about WandaVision

Y'know, it's kind of crazy to think that it's been over a year since we've been given any content involving the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel Studios announced so many great movies, on top of new TV shows that actually impact the story, way back in the summer of 2019. But then 2020 happened. Resulting in everything, and I mean everything, we were promised getting pushed back for another year. So, when it was finally announced that the series WandaVision was, at last, ready to be released, fans were both excited as well as skeptical. Because the first thing that would reintegrate us back into this franchise would be a show about how two Avengers are stuck in a sitcom. It might be new, long-awaited content, but it also doesn't sound all that interesting. Could a story involving two characters who have yet to stand on their own be enough to carry a brand new adventure? Well, for eight whole weeks, fans were given that answer. And personally, I will admit that WandaVision might have been better than anybody could have ever expected...for the most part.

(Final spoiler warning if you haven't seen the show yet)

WHAT I LIKE

It Just Goes: This is easily the best way the series could have started. We are given no context about what is going on. We're just shown that Wanda and Vision are currently stuck in a sitcom, and that's it. By making it a mystery, fans are given this sort of interaction with the series as they find clues and come up with theories about how and why this happened. Sure, some assumptions were more far fetched than others (did people think Mephisto was confirmed just because of one misinterpreted line involving the Devil?), but it still makes the show a ton of fun to watch. Plus, even when we're given answers, it's only tiny pieces of the puzzle. We're always given a chance to figure out the bigger picture, resulting in an image that is, I'll admit, somewhat satisfying to see. Just as long as you ignore the crybabies who get upset that their favorite theories turned out to be wrong.

The Homages are on Point: I also love how straight the cast and crew play with the idea of two superheroes being stuck in a series of sitcoms. Everything they use fits in the era each sitcom takes place in. With things like camerawork, set design, special effects, acting quality, tropes, and even theme songs, everything works as a proper homage than just having two episodes in black and white and the rest in color. Each new sitcom that Wanda and Vision are rebooted in feels so genuine, to the point where they seem like they could be actual shows that could have existed. Seriously, my dad showed me stuff like The Dick Van Dyke Show when I was a kid, so trust me when I say that the very first episode nails the style that it's honoring. Not only is it charming as all forms of hell, but it also works in making these moments when characters break from the spell (get it) all the more jarring and even disturbing at times. Because when you're so keen on watching what seems like a fun and cheesy sitcom, you feel a bit unsettled when a character suddenly acts in a way that's a tad foreboding. Still, it's fun to watch and is easily the central hook for what makes this show work.

The Comedy: The homages also nail the comedy that came from each type of sitcom. The jokes fit with each period, from the cheesy and charming 50s to the cynical and dry 90s and early 2000s. It's another thing the writers play straight with, and I think it works. The only jokes made by most stories like this are just pointing out that these serious characters are stuck in a silly sitcom. Instead, the writers tell jokes that work for the period it's in, and it is all genuinely funny if you're used to those types of goofs and gags. If you didn't laugh, that's because the comedy isn't trying to reach out to you. It's reaching out to the people who actually watched these types of sitcoms. Or, in my case, the type of people who had their parents show them these types of sitcoms. And even then, I still think there are these lines and deliveries that are still funny even if you don't get the joke. For example, there's this brief moment with Vision and a toy baby that got a genuine chuckle out of me for how absurd it was. I wasn't expecting to laugh that much, but on top of the many surprises this show gave, being funny was definitely one of them.

“My husband, and his indestructible forehead”: He...hehe...hehehehahahaHAHAHAHA! AH! HA! HA! HA! 

*Slowly starts sobbing*

>Squeaks<

I see what you did there.

Paul Bettany as “Vision,” “Vision,” and Vision: Can we give Paul Bettany a round of applause for basically playing three different characters, each with their own varying levels of emotions and purposes? Because goodness gracious, this man is a champion! I've seen tons of people praise Elizabeth Olson for her performance as Wanda, and to be fair, she does do a fantastic job...aside from one blatant issue (which I'll get into later). But as great as Olson is, Bettany still deserves some credit. Throughout most of the series, he has this level of comedic-timing that I didn't even know he was capable of, by going ham or just having a dry wit. Seriously, was someone going to tell me that Paul Bettany can be funny, or was I supposed to find that out for myself? On top of being hilarious, Bettany delivers such raw emotion that none of us would have ever expected from this character. That screaming match “Vision” has with Wanda shows the very first time that any version of him has ever been angry, and Bettany does a great job at making that moment as jarring as it needed to be. And that's just from playing one version of the character! I didn't even talk about how he nails the naive yet still wise Vision from the flashback in "Previously On" or the cold and robotic "Vision" from "The Series Finale." Bettany has range, and WandaVision is a great show that proves how. One just needs to have the right amount of vision to see it (HhhhhhhhhhhHA!)

Developing Wanda: But as great as Paul Bettany, and to a lesser extent, Vision, is, Wanda Maximoff is clearly the star of the show here (And yes, I know that it's Wanda who's the character and Elizabeth Olson is the actor, but...I'll get into it!). If WandaVision has taught me anything about these Disney+ shows, it's that we are finally going to get some long-awaited development to characters that are starved from it. And Wanda definitely needed it. Don't get me wrong, Wanda was great in past movies but wasn't that compelling of a character. Here, trust me when I say that the opposite is true. 

We are given a deep dive into not only Wanda's morality but also her psyche. The writers really play around with how scary Wanda can be. As well as questioning if Wanda has the capability of being evil. Because, yeah, what she did was not right. True, our "heroine" was going through some rough s**t, but that doesn't excuse the amount of torture Wanda put the people of Westview through, no matter how unwittingly. Just look at that scene where everyone grills Wanda about what she's doing to them, not only pleading for whatever compromise they can get and even begging for her to kill them instead. That is dark! That is the darkest concept the MCU has ever offered, and the ending of Avengers: Infinity War exists!

But, while it doesn't entirely excuse everything, there is a reason why Wanda did all of this. You see, throughout WandaVision, Wanda goes through the five stages of grief. It all starts with denial as she pretends to live in a sitcom that she created where Vision is alive, and they get to even have kids together. Soon comes anger when she destroys anything and physically harms anyone that tries to bring her back to reality. Next, there's bargaining as Wanda strengthens her hex and expands it to keep outsiders out and keep Vision in. This leads to depression as the weight of all of Wanda's actions finally sinks in, and she's forced to realize the damage she's causing. Until all of it ends with acceptance, as Wanda finally, finally, gets to say goodbye to Vision. Something she never really got when Thanos ripped the mind stone out of Vision's forehead. It's both incredible to watch as it is fascinating. Wanda, through the course of her own little spin-off series, just went from a decent character to one of the most intriguing to dissect in the MCU. And we have this show to thank for it.

The Commercials: These commercials offer three things.

They're more homages to classic television, each product and filming for each one honoring how commercials looked in each era.

They offer more of an insight into Wanda's psyche as we see how each commercial shows bits of her history, regrets, and deepest desires. You see all of the above in the Lagos' paper towel commercial.

There are neat bits of foreshadowing of what's to come, like how Hydra Soak ends by saying it's for "your inner goddess" or how the 90s commercial ends by saying Magic isn't meant for the weak.

With all of that, these commercials are as fun to analyze as they are disturbing as hell.

The Dinner Scene: This was the moment it was clear that WandaVision wasn’t going to just be fun and games. The second that "Mr. Heart" starts screaming at Wanda about why she and Vision came, it becomes clear that the whole wacky scenario our heroes are in isn't as harmless as we all thought. And when "Mrs. Heart" playfully tells her husband to stop it when “Mr. Heart” starts choking, only to desperately scream at Wanda to stop it, audiences begin to piece together that the people of Westview are prisoners--no--victims. As for Wanda? She's the unknowing dictator forcing them to do what she says. And it was this scene that I knew I was going to really enjoy this show.

The Blip Scene: And it was this scene that made WandaVision skyrocket into top-tier MCU territory! As much as I love Spider-Man: Far From Home, I will admit that making a joke with the concept of something like the blip might not have been the best move. But showing the chaos of everyone coming back all at once? On top of showing the confusion that a person would have from being told that a five-second nap was five years? Yeah, that's more in line with what we want.

Returning Characters: Not only was I surprised by the fact that these pretty minor characters in the MCU made a return at all, but I was also shocked to find out they work better in this series than they did in their respective movies. First, there's Monica. Not only is she reintroduced as a brand new hero (with, admittingly, confusing superpowers), but she also works as the anti-Wanda. Both characters had someone they care about dearly die without getting a chance to say goodbye. The difference is that Monica doesn't have the abilities Wanda does and is instead forced to quickly accept that her mom is dead and won't come back. She even admits that she would bring her mom back if she could. But that just makes Monica the perfect person that Wanda needs. A person that understands where she's coming from and tries to convince Wanda to do the right thing, no matter how hard it is. Monica's methods may have been a tad bit sloppy, but she is still ten times more intriguing than that little girl who screwed around with the color scheme on Captain Marvel’s suit.

Then there's Jimmy Woo, who is both funnier here than in Ant-Man and the Wasp, and actually shows signs of being a competent FBI agent. A step up, I might add, from the hilariously incompetent character we saw in his previous appearance.

And also, Darcie is here...and still slightly annoying...but at least she still has a couple funny lines here and there! Which is more than I can say with Thor and Thor: The Dark World.

In my opinion, it's a good move having these characters with pretty small roles in vastly different stories make a return. It shows that they are not limited to their one little corner of the MCU. And that they can branch off into taller tales that suit them perfectly. It's pretty cool, and it makes me wonder what other small characters could make a triumphant return.

Billy and Tommy: These two are...fine. Billy and Tommy give me Zach and Cody vibes sometimes, the kids playing them do a decent job, and they both offer some great emotional moments. The problem is that out of the list of characters that WandaVision introduces and reintroduces, there's not much to talk about with Billy and Tommy. Honestly, the only reason why I briefly mentioned that I like them is that I don't want dozens of people crucifying me for not saying anything about them. I don't hate them, but I don't much care for them either.

Evan Peters as Quicksilver: Although I would have loved it if it was Aaron Taylor-Johnson who made a return, seeing Evan Peters in a good Marvel movie again is more than worth it. He plays a much more fun version of Quicksilver while still nailing the sibling relationship the character has with Wanda. In a way, it's a lot like how Marvel cast J.K. Simmons as J Jonah Jameson at the end of Spider-Man: Far From Home. It's admitting that no one could have played the character better than this one actor and briefly making fans happy in the process. While also not doing something crazy like having it be the exact same Quicksilver from the X-Men movies. Only f**king idiots would believe something like that...

...

...But hypothetically speaking, let's say some people were stupid to believe that. While making an outrageous claim that the writers "lead them on to doing so." In which case, I will say the same thing that one would say when friend-zoning someone: "Nobody led you on to s**t. You were just too busy focusing on what you wanted to see instead of what you needed to see."

Because there was no evidence that it was the same Quicksilver other than the fact that it was the same actor. And, hypothetically speaking, if there were dozens of crybabies who were upset about it not being the same Quicksilver, then I have so much more respect for this character being nothing more than a boner joke. Because you did this to yourselves...hypothetically speaking.

Retconning Wanda’s Powers: ...I'm ok with this. Retcons happen all the time in the comics, as well as in movies and television. It's just a matter of making the retcon believable enough where there are few holes in what you're telling people. As for Wanda apparently having magic this entire time, but the mind stone amplified her powers? I can buy that. Besides, it's an acceptable excuse to make Wanda as powerful as she is in the comics (from what I've been told), so like I said, I'm ok with this.

“I can’t feel you…”: ...That's fine. I didn't need my heart anyway.

“Vision’s” Talk with “Vision”: Forget the horrible CGIed battles. I want more of this!

Now, I put both Visions in quotation marks because while they're both the same character, they're also...not the same. Which is, funnily enough, what this scene is: A philosophical discussion between two versions of the same android about what makes them both/neither the definitive version. One may look the same, and the other may be the same body, but neither "Vision" really is the true Vision. However, the fact that these two stop their fighting so they can have this discussion in the first place helps secure that while different, they are still the same. It's a thought-provoking discussion, and it is ten times more interesting to watch than Wanda and Agatha's CGI fight in the sky. Although it is kind of odd that White-Vision just peaces out the second Hex-Vision gives him a reboot. But hey, that's for the future movies to deal with.

“Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.”: >Deep inhale<...Girl.

Wanda Saying Goodbye to Vision: >DEEPER INHALE< HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY! I did not expect this much emotional turmoil from f**king WANDAVISION!

Joking aside, this is a well-handled scene. It's incredibly emotional to see these two characters say goodbye to each other as their arcs come to a close. "Vision" peacefully leaves knowing who he is in the world, and Wanda can finally start moving on as she gets to say goodbye to her one true love. It's as bittersweet as it is beautiful.

WHAT I DISLIKE

MCU logos flashing in every episode: You know how CinemaSins has this bulls**t excuse about how the MCU opening logo wastes time to get to the good stuff? This is the only instance where that's applicable. Because the opening logo was cool to see again for the first episode, but having it play in every single one after breaks the immersion when trying to binge the series. It's for a couple of seconds, sure, but after a while, it does get pretty annoying.

Elizabeth Olson as Scarlet Witch: Now, to be clear, I have no problems with Elizabeth Olson's acting ability in this series. She juggles being funny, heartbreaking, and threatening so well that I am likely to laugh and cry with her as I am to s**t my pants while in her presence. Elizabeth Olson does a great job with this character. The problem? Well, in the comics, Wanda Maximoff is Roma, and Elizabeth Olson...isn't. This means that WandaVision, and the MCU as a whole, has a bad case of white-washing.

I could go on about the issues this brings, but I am not as educated about this subject, and all I know is just stuff that seems like common sense. For instance, I believe it is more than reasonable to hire an actor of a specific race or ethnicity for a character who is of a that same race or ethnicity. But that is as far as my knowledge and personal stance goes, and to expand on it would be too much of a risk because I have no right to criticize the representation of something I am not a part of. So instead, I'm going to point you to @earnestdesire‘s blog and Jessica Reidy’s article on the subject. They do a great job at discussing the issues with Olson’s Wanda and pointing to the issues the MCU has in representing Wanda and Pietro's representation in the comics. And they do it in a far better way than I ever could have. So check them out to truly see why, despite doing a great job, Elizabeth Olson should not be the person donning the suit.

It Was Agatha All Along: AND I STILL F**KING HATE THAT!

I know, I know, I am in the minority on this one. And I still don't understand why! To me, Agatha has all of the problems that Hans has in Frozen. Sure, there are hints if you pay more attention during a few select scenes that are slightly questionable. Like how she refers to Wanda as "the star of the show" or coincidentally shows up with a dog house for Sparky. However, much like how Frozen didn't need a villain like Hans, WandaVision didn't need a comic book villain like Agatha. The story was perfectly passable as a personal conflict involving Wanda's grief where the only obstacle was the director of S.W.O.R.D. and his agents. There is nothing Agatha adds to that.

"But she helps Wanda find out what happens!" Yeah, but Monica could have done the same thing by actually breaking through to Wanda and calmly asking what happened. From then on, they could have worked things out together by having Wanda retrace events that transpired through the information that Monica knows as well.

"But Agatha helps Wanda realize what she's doing is wrong!" So could Vision! He could have shown up, did that mind-meld thing to the townspeople, and Wanda would finally learn what she was doing was wrong through the person she trusts the most.

"But Agatha helps Wanda learn that she's the Scarlet Witch!" Ok...but did that need to happen in this series? Because when you think about it, when the central conflict is all about exploring Wanda's grief, throwing in this narrative about becoming the Scarlet Witch has little to do with anything. Meaning that if you cut it from the story, little would change other than cutting a CGI battle that everyone agrees is the worst part of the series.

The most Agatha adds to the story is a secondary conflict that could easily be cut, and the overall quality would stay the same, if not better. And that is a problem. Agatha needs to add to the central conflict in a way that no other character could have. Like, give her a reason to be involved in Wanda’s life that goes beyond feeding off her magic and leading Wanda to her destiny. Because as is, even if you argue that Agatha is a good twist villain, she's a villain that really didn't need to be here.

Director Haywood: But as much as I don't like Agatha, I think we can all agree that Director Haywood is the worst villain in the MCU. Because one issue that Haywood has is a lack of motivation. For instance, why does he try so hard to write off Wanda as this supervillain? It was never explained, and for something so bizarre and crucial to his character, I feel like it needed to be. It would be passable if he was motivated out of fear and ignorance, but Haywood goes so far as to misedit security footage to prove his point. And I don't get why.

Is he sexist?

Did Wanda not show up at his kid's birthday party?

Did he secretly want to use Vision as a sexbot and didn't want Wanda to get between them?

I don't know, and I'll never know.

Plus, on top of having no motivation, Haywood is just forgettable. Agatha may piss me off to no end, but at least I'll remember her. I honestly forgot Haywood's name half the time, and I'm willing to bet that you did too. Case in point, his name isn't even Haywood. It's Hayward. And in the off chance that you didn't even know about that misspelling just proves my point about how forgettable Hayward is. While it's one thing to be hated, it's another to be forgotten. Because that just means that you left so little impact that you aren't even worth getting upset about.

------

And that is what I thought about WandaVision. If I had to base this off my usual score, I'd have to give the show the same 7/10 that everyone else gave it. Because there's a lot that I love, but the stuff that I hate is so problematic that it takes the WandaVision down on a couple of notches. It's still a fantastic series with a solid story, a great message, incredible acting, and phenomenal character development. It's just that not everyone is going to be willing to tune in as much as you might think.

[sluttyopinions]

The Blunt Reality of Attack on Titan

August 4, 2020

Written by Samantha, Slutty Opinions

OPENING

People usually tend to associate anime and manga with being crazy over the top action packed experiences. Attack on Titan is a series full of exactly that. It’s a hugely popular franchise known for having insanely cool action and bombastic music. People flying around doing impossible feats and fighting fantastical enemies that are larger than life are common. Despite all this flash and excitement, the series never lets you forget the harsh reality of the world itself in a unique way, effectively separating it from many of its peers.

This grim reality is basically used to beat the audience over the head over and over, at times too liberally and too often as some would argue. I personally think how the original author of the manga that started it all, Hajime Isayama, entwines every aspect of his story with cynicism and grimness is one of the major reasons why I love the series, and I’m willing to bet it’s a big reason for a lot of fans whether they know it or not. Before I get into the details, I will say that I won’t be putting in any real spoilers of either the manga or the anime so if you’re just curious about what I may have to say, you can keep going. I’d also like to mention that I am more of a recent fan, but still a big one. I’ve seen the entire anime and have been trying to catch up on the source material, so my knowledge and opinions will be limited to that amount of content.

THE TITANS

For anyone unaware of the basic premise of Attack on Titan, the last remnant of the human race has been trapped by huge humanoid beasts in an expansive settlement surrounded by walls. It is humanity’s job to fight off these mindless monsters and survive behind the walls. The titans are a large part of what creates the identity of the series. Seems kind of obvious since it’s literally the title and all. The way these titans are integrated into the action and the story of the show is a large part of what prevents Attack on Titan from simply being another generic action series that ends up forgotten as a flavor of the month. It seems like I’m not giving the series enough credit because there is a LOT it does right otherwise such as pacing, story structure, characters, and so on that combine to make an incredible experience that has captivated many. However, I still stand by the idea that the titans help make the franchise feel truly one of a kind.

Everyone who’s ever seen the titans has probably noticed how grotesquely and uncannily they are designed. In the manga, the whole world and the way many things and people are drawn especially all have very creepy vibes to it all. While it would be a huge stretch to claim Attack on Titan is a horror manga, it’s common sense to acknowledge it’s strongly influenced by horror. The absolute sense of uncertainty and powerlessness these monsters present nearly every time they’re on screen is overpowering to both the characters that must deal with them and the audience as well. 

Isayama creates a feeling of dread involving these beasts insanely effectively. Any encounter with them even if it is merely 1 or 2 of them can always lead to sudden death. There is never safety in the presence of the titans even for the most skilled. Their pure size and physical ability is nearly never downplayed. While the humans have their own special weapons and crazy abilities, the titans are hardly ever presented as mere battle fodder or mulch. Titans happen to be very good at killing people and the delivery of it all makes it feel believable. Keeping the antagonists intimidating and serious is very important for the overall feeling of Attack on Titan. 

At times it can even feel like too much. The idea of any character dropping dead at any time can be very discouraging when you’re trying to get invested in a cast or just getting started. Sure that amount of pure “edge” in itself is appealing to a lot of people, but edge without purpose or substance makes for very bad entertainment in my eyes. It’s honestly in fact one of my pet peeves. I did not expect to like Attack on Titan for a long time due to this reputation it had for being brutal and random. Just not my style. When I actually gave it a shot however, I realized the writing is a lot more purposeful and I’d even say forgiving than I expected. While at times being an emotionally exhausting experience and definitely pessimistic in many ways, this series treats the terrible events that occur left and right with proper gravity and maturity.

THE NATURE OF WAR

Attack on Titan has a lot to say about a variety of subjects. It’s honestly much more subtle and intelligent than I even thought with my initial blind viewing of the anime. Reading the manga through the same events really gave me an appreciation for the thought and detail that goes into Isayama’s writing. The most obvious subject he focuses on is something that is probably less than subtle however and can be spotted quickly by anyone who has seen or read even a bit of the series. 

That subject happens to be the horrors of war. On the surface the story seems to be just a simple story of man vs beast and it wouldn’t make much sense for it to have anything to say about war. While the circumstances involved are very fantasy-themed and at times ridiculous, it still at its heart is a narrative about war and how humans cope with it, both those on the front lines and those who watch from afar. 

The grim and serious nature of the series is the way it is directly thanks to that theme. If life wasn’t always at risk, if it wasn’t treated as fragile, if death wasn’t respected and dwelled on and treated with the utmost permanence and seriousness, this theme would not work the way it does. Anything less runs the risk of just looking like glorification while merely saying the opposite. Admittedly there’s a lot of people who still somehow think Attack on Titan glorifies war but that’s a whole other subject. A very impactful and relevant part of the story is one early on where humanity wins a huge battle, yet no one bothers to celebrate merely because the overwhelming weight of the dead hangs heavier than any related relief ever could. This kind of grim and depressing, yet honest storytelling about war is very common throughout the plot.

What it means to be a soldier, the intricate overlap of society, media, government, and economics on war, the will and the reason to fight, the sanctity of human life and the nature of sacrifice and finding meaning in meaningless and constant death are all discussed often and in detail in Attack on Titan and the grim realness of everything that happens in the story and the overall feeling of being unsafe it conveys are deeply important to allowing these themes and discussions to work as well as they do.

PHILOSOPHY AND PSYCHOLOGY

The last major aspect of the story that I think benefits greatly from the unrestrained reality and brutality of the series is the very unique philosophy and psychology that Isayama presents. Most of the points and lessons the characters learn through the story are not pleasant ones. Everything the characters go through and the utter bleakness of Attack on Titan’s world shapes everyone’s worldviews. People take small steps and make concessions to have hope in this world. Optimism is present plenty, but the way the characters experience optimism is still rife with sacrifice and harsh undeniable truths. 

This very unique perspective compared to a lot of similar media is refreshing in its own way and kept me questioning what I knew. You couldn’t often easily predict the conclusions characters would come to because they are not what you may have come to expect from other media. One major character, Erwin Smith, is a great example of the kind of ideas Attack on Titan will throw around. His character is labeled as a demon by some, but a hero by the same people as well. The necessity of pain and sacrifice underlies all progress and achievement and he knows it and so do many others, even if it’s hard to accept. Having to create guidelines bound by the rules and expectations of reality only makes them that much more applicable to real life and real war. 

Despite all this, the series never feels outright preachy. Characters dwelling on the meaning of what’s happening to them is specific to which character and which circumstances. It doesn’t feel nearly like the author is writing an essay about the way things are or should be while using characters as mouthpieces and more just people in a hard situation trying to make meaning out of the meaningless suffering around them. Agreeing or disagreeing with any point as a reader or viewer isn’t portrayed as wrong in any case it’s more a vehicle for thought as well as phenomenal character building.  Like real war, none of the questions presented have a genuine correct answer. The character Levi himself at some point in the story even admits that as a veteran in battle, he can never be truly sure of his choices.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The amount of respect and purpose Attack on Titan treats its frequent suffering with is key to the experience as a whole. While a series with just good writing all around and good reasons for its fame, something that in my opinion makes it feel like something special and something that captivated me is the overall gravity of the story. Without being effective at intensity and discomfort as well as in dealing with said discomfort, the story just wouldn’t feel real. And if it doesn’t feel real, it won’t feel like it matters. This series matters quite a lot to myself and many others and I hope this is at least a glimpse as to why.

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep recap 6x06

Due to a rather unfortunate run in between my laptop and a glass of water I lost my original ramble for this week’s Younger (as well as the actual laptop so R.I.P Lappy, you were actually pretty terrible but we had a good run). So instead of my usual review I thought I’d do more of a recap and refresher of the last episode to get us prepped, primed and pumped (aka the 3 P's) for the next installment (ep7).

Episode 6 of Younger was in many ways so bonkers that it shouldn’t have worked, but somehow all the pieces came together and it did .Oh boy did it ever! I outright belly laughed a number of times throughout and I think my dog was mildly concerned for my well-being because there were actual tears coming out my eyes at a couple of points. I’m a sucker for a pun so ‘Merger, She Wrote’ had me at hello (you could say my hopes for the ep were high...yes I did and #notsorry). What I wouldn’t have given to be in the room to see the reactions to a script with ‘Liza goes to talk to the nurse who is actually a plant’ in it. So yes there were LOLs galore but most importantly, by the end of the ep order had been restored following the upheaval of the past 6 episodes (which is about the limit viewers can take sitting in the discomfort of an unfamiliar detour from the norm IMO: think the Bryce Reiger arc in season 3 and the Charles finding out the lie in season 5...it’s almost as though Darren and co. have done this before...), Finally the fam is back together at Millennial (or is it Mercennial now?)

Straight off the bat I was very distracted for most of the opening scene by Liza’s dress and look in general because it was AMAZING.  I am loving all the Maggie/Liza in the morning scenes we’re getting this season and Maggie in a blue coverall embarking on a DIY rope harness ceiling painting project...what could possibly go wrong? I felt mildly uncomfortable at how relatable Maggie’s not being served for 10 mins in a bar and sneaking out to the fridge in the night were, but was also mildly mesmerized by Liza’s coffee mug that looked like some kind of old-timey wash basin (turns out this was not relevant to the story but noted nonetheless). Maggie also offers the very straight forward solution of merging the two companies to alleviate the tension that’s putting Liza and Charles in ‘not a good place’ and I love that her ‘bing, bang, boom’ is echoed by Liza when she floats the idea with Charles later in the ep. 

The' Microdosing' book pitch provided us with the set up for the retreat and my fave thing about this scene was how IN character all the characters reactions were to it all; Diana is flat out appalled by the whole thing, Liza is Captain Cautious but trying to play it cool and Kelsey looks like she’s seeing colour for the first time and would 100% pledge her devotion to Travis in any kind of cult situation.

What might have seemed out of character, but actually ended up so perfectly capturing the way she always does everything with absolute gusto, was Diana's foray into boomer erotica narration (as Liza so eloquently put it, 'I think we just found our Seasoned Slut'. These lines, I swear *rofl emoji* )  I think I laughed through the entire scene of Diana in the recording studio, I mean, Miriam Shor's delivery of every line just kills me, but the highlight was undoubtedly when she suggested she could hit nipple a little harder and affirmed  'throbbing nipple' to herself as she walked back to the booth. Zane and creepy af Audrey Colbert waiting allowed for Diana to unsubtly hot foot it out of there, which was a great throwback to her refusal to be in the same room as Audrey in ep 3.

It was a also great opportunity to bring Zane and Kelsey back together and who doesn't love an awks 'accidentally had the mic open and didn't realize' moment when you're talking about how your author is definitely a murderer? I feel like Audrey may go and find another publisher now (just a hunch) but I would really like to see more of her because this character is a type of unhinged that we haven't seen on this show and I think that could be a lot of fun to see play out. I have to say that Kelsey Peters is NOT someone I picked as a boop-er of noses, yet there she was at the bar, booping Zane's nose and this was my favourite interaction of theirs in the series. I was totally digging the dynamic this ep and it will be very interesting to see what that will look like with the new work arrangements. Also, where was Zane when that was all going down btw? I assume Charles filled him in on the bringing the companies together plan before it happened?

Liza's excitement when she told Charles the idea of merging the two companies was endearing and I am unabashedly a big fan of Charles, but his attempt at convincing Liza to join him at Mercury after she tells him that she won't leave Millennial and Kelsey, by saying he left his company to be with her, was super shitty. But it was also super necessary. Because at some point this needed to be said and most importantly, Liza needed to call him out on it and let him know that he cannot use it as a bargaining chip. One of the things I love most about the Charles/Liza dynamic (aside from all the things, but that's another essay) is that Liza is her own advocate in this relationship, she will stand her ground when something is important to her and does not compromise herself to appease Charles. He is equally as stubborn but they are able to have the hard conversations that need to be had but this doesn’t lead them to question whether they want to be together (I very much appreciated the kiss on the cheek Liza gave Charles before she left for this very reason).

So of course being on a psychedelics retreat together when they've hit a roadblock in the relationship was definitely a very good idea...Well it was for us as viewers at least, because pretty much from the moment they arrive and Liza and Charles start talking straight to camera as the literal doctor (my god that whole line just cracked me up) informs them they'll be taking not-LSD, we know we're not in Kansas anymore Toto. Enter Josh for *insert drama here* purposes (and I do think he should franchise Inkburg coz why not?) and we have, ladies and gentlefolk, a recipe for some next level hilarity. But not before Josh and Liza share a lingering look as they take their dose of illicit substance to ensure that Lizs's trip includes one down memory lane.

I have made my feelings about love triangles known many times (quick recap: hard dislike. Tricky to pull off without one or more characters looking bad. Very tiring as a viewer and quite frankly I am pretty lazy and tired most of the time irl so just don't want it on my screen), however I will say that I did not see this ep as re-stoking the love triangle, I saw it as simply reminding us that it is there and can be reignited by the writers at any stage. Within the context of everything that was happening, Liza hallucinating Josh at her door actually made sense and I have no doubt that various factions of Younger fans had meltdowns at that moment for very different reasons.. Sutton Foster's physical comedy throughout this whole ep was second to none, starting at her realization that it was, in fact, Charles who had come to her room and continuing the next morning at breakfast.

Speaking of which, there was something about seeing Liza and Charles in the breakfast room together that made my sappy heart swell, it had such a vacay feel and I'm sure if you muted your volume you could pretend they were just listening to the activities for the day before going off to spend some quality time together...I mean, maybe that would be a thing, I wouldn't know....where was I? Oh yes, the unfolding of a series of comedy golden McNuggets™ that I am still laughing about. We learn that Liza is a supertaster (for those like me who pretended they understood what that meant but then realized they did not, I googled it and it means that she is sensitive to the drugs and basically the microdose affects her like a full dose, you're welcome) and I am chuckling even now when I think about Josh's, 'hey guys' in Charles' voice as he joins the table.

This is another one of those concepts that I feel like could've not worked at all but sweet lawd, the Charles and Josh voice swap scene was next level and I could watch this and the scene that follows over and over and never not laugh. I again LOVE the decision to have the guys talk to camera because it absolutely emphasizes the whole situation and Liza sidestepping away to visit the nurse just rounded off the whole crazy caper.

I have no words to describe how much I love the flat out ridiculous perfection of the visit to Nurse Maureen. Yes Liza has the epiphany that Josh and Charles bring out different things in her (though hot sex seems to be at the core of both so ya know, sounds like a win in the past and present and good for her on both accounts) and again, the unlikely scenario that her ex and current boyfriends are in the same place at the same time (while she is taking mind altering substance) has just played out so it also makes sense in this context. Quite frankly I'm shipping her and Maureen pretty hard at this point because a) it is not easy to pull off eyeshadow that green and b) everyone deserves someone in their life who has the kind of belief in Liza that Maureen does when she tells her 'I bet you can' dance just like me. I don't even know how to explain whatever that dance is but I just know that I want someone/something in my life that will windmill their/it's arms at me with such fervor that I find myself dancing with two attractive men in tuxedos on a galaxy stage.

I cannot express the joy I felt watching the entire dance scene, it was all just so. much. fun. But my absolute hands down favourite moment was when it cut back to the retreat and we, along with Charles and Josh, discover that Liza is in fact dancing with 'Maureen' the plant and seriously, this is up there with my highlights of the entire series. That and the reveal that the selfies Liza was taking were sent to Diana (Diana speaking to Liza in her 'sexy' voice, asking 'where is my plant?', Liza's, 'Maureen', I just cannot with every part of this glorious tie in at the end of the ep. I am sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant to express my gratitude for gifting us with these moments*). Seeing Josh and Charles together was great but it was clear a scene was missing and I am SO glad that Younger released the deleted conversation between the two of them coz it was both necessary because YES and also because it suddenly made Charles' entire conversation and reason for his decision to sell Mercury make sense (ie. was pretty pivotal).

I big A adored Charles and Liza's conversation (and outfits and aesthetic overall) as they're leaving the retreat, the shift in Charles is palpable and it's just such a credit to the writing and acting to be able to convey so much in such a brief scene. Maggie of course experienced quite the shift herself, from ceiling to floor, with a sufficient amount of dangling as her helpful neighbourly pervert got himself off as she got herself down. But most importantly, Maggie got her mojo back (though is she not currently dating Beth? In which case location of missing mojo: unclear).

Now I gotta tell you, the final scene of this week's ep up and got me. Big time. Kelsey's earlier comment, that she really hates competing with Charles, certainly added weight to the resolution we've all been waiting for this season. Charles' honesty about his realisation that he is hurting his family, not to mention him confirming that he means Kelsey, Diana and Liza and that he wants to come home, ugh, my insides are gooey just writing these words, leads to his offer to Kesley and honestly, the interactions between all of them in this scene was wonderful. I loved that Kelsey held the room, that Charles was putting the offer to her from one businessperson to another (though thank goodness Diana was there to point out the difference between $1 and $1000000 eek! Also, I get that it would never occur to anyone that the price would be $1 so I'll cut Kels some slack). Diana looks like she is going to cry at any moment from elation and I love the way Kelsey asks for the approval of the ladies before shaking Charles' hand. This will forever be one of my favourite scenes on this show.

The thought of Charles coming back and working as an editor alongside Liza is an actual dream. I mean, I am very happy to be taken on the journey the writers set, but I have legit wondered what it would be like to see him in that role and he and Liza working together properly as equals and I absolutely cannot believe it's going to happen.

Well this ended up being quite a bit longer than I expected (lol, what a surprise). Bring on episode 7!

*I will not in fact be sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant because I live in a very far away country, it would cost a lot of money and it is 1000% creepy to receive a dead plant from a stranger. 

[therobotmonster]

Obscure Enemies of the NES TMNT Game

There is a shocking lack of coverage of the original TMNT NES game, outside of very justified commentary on its unfair difficulty and some poor design decisions (like the dam message).

But the TMNT NES game is unique in that it was very early in the for-kids TMNT canon, and has a lot of wacky concepts that don’t show up anywhere else. I’m not going to be bothering with Mousers and Foot Ninjas and the like, but baddies that are original to the game. 

Unless otherwise noted, the names are my inventions, as only a few enemies got names/descriptions in the manual.

Sewer Bug - Your basic fly-back-and-forth baddie, the Sewer Bug is one of the less interesting entries. Its hard to tell from the sprite, but it is either some kind of mutated wasp or bee or its a robot bug-shaped drone used by the Foot, and either way it meshes well with TMNT.

Stick ‘em Up/the Roof Leaper (official name): From the manual: “Ignorant to the force of gravity this pesty (sic) sewer thug (the product of a horrible chemical spill) pounces about on ceiling pipes, waiting to rain terror from above.” Chemical spill created sewer mutants, now we’re talking. I love the implication that they’re immune to gravity because they don’t know about it.

Fire Freak (official name) and Clone: From the Manual: “An ex-pyromaniac from Brookyln, this hot dog takes careful aim before launching fireballs that turn into clones of himself.:” One assumes there was some mutagen involved in Fire Freak’s career change from pyromaniac to Foot Clan stooge. There’s something about “dude made of fire that throws other dudes made of fire at you” that’s very NES era, and I kinda want to see the new TMNT series have a go at updating this guy. 

Mecaturtle (Official Name): From the Manual: “Appearing like your average turtle, this level 3 commander will show his true colors if you do him any harm.” They probably meant “Mechaturtle”, but the manual says “Mecaturtle” and so that’s his name. He’s basically the Terminator wearing an off-color Leonardo suit instead of the usual Austrianwear. Oh, and he’s got swords for hands and shoots missiles. 

I have to wonder if Mecaturtle was a prototype for Metalhead and the other robo-turtles throught the series. The blue Leonardo with orange bands and pads disguise tempts me to figure customization. 

Chansawiac: This guy is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in standard 80s video game logic. All we know for sure is he loves: 1) Chainsaws, 2) Waving chainsaws wildly while walking back and forth, 3) Purple pants with footies, probably not in that order. He seems to be wearing either a hockey mask, making him a lazy Leatherface/Jason mashup, or a fleshtone Iron Man helmet, which makes him my favorite SDCC cosplayer this year. 

Divebombs: Krang saw the destructive power of a heat-seeking missile and said “That’s good, but can we make it slower and <urrrp> less effective?” His minions then come up with this, a nerf football missile with wings cribbed form a flying machine from Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. If you get near you, it dives at you like a suicidal hawk. I’d say this was a dumb idea for a weapon, but Krang’s minions literally have rocks in their heads, so I’ll grade on a curve and give this a B, mostly for creativity. 

Rock Soldier: Maybe this golem-guy is supposed to be one of Krang’s rock soldiers? He crouches down into a “sleeping” position where he’s invulnerable only to get up and throw vague crescents of energy at you. Weirdly, there’s a badguy in the NES Wolverine game that had essentially the same shtick, so at least this guy kept working after the Foot let him and the rest of these guys go.

Spydrone: A basic flying robot spy that does damage on impact. Not much to write home about. Unless, of course, you’re a fan of the 1987 Jessica Tandy sci-fi/comedy Batteries Not Included.

Sky Prawn: Some kind of flying mutant bug or crustacean. They might be beetles, or shrimp with claws, or mosquitoes, but no matter what they are, they fly sideways and like to knock you out of the air while you’re making stupidly precise jumps.

Foot Balloon: Part of me really wants to think this was a toy concept that got abandoned. Its a balloon with a mechanical claw holding a bomb. It flies over you with its flapping wings (why?) and drops it, proving once again that the Foot are the leaders in the field of overly complicated explosive delivery systems.

Boomerang Bouncer: As a kid I thought this guy was a sort of sub-Bebop pig mutant, but now he looks more like Vin Diesel wearing red sweatpants and wraparound shades. He hops around like a jackass and throws boomerangs. In the 80s, Big Boomerang had an iron grip on the video game industry, so his inclusion was inevitable. 

Wandering Eyes: They’re eyes with spider-legs, one of the most vulnerable parts of the human body, stripped of its meager defenses and let loose with nothing so much as a mouth. Look at how bloodshot they are. Every piece of dust they touch is burning agony. A normal spider would have been more dangerous but crawling eyes are more about psyching out the enemy than actually hurting them.

Unemployed Mutant Toad: The Turtles are doomed to run into mutant frogs or toads no matter where they go, and this game is no exception. They hop, they hit you with their tongues, pretty straightforward.  Shredder hasn’t seen clear to give these guys clothing and they show no skills, martial arts or otherwise. If you squint, they might be tail-less chameleons, which is at least a bit more unique.

Big FleaKid:  Big fleas have little fleas, Upon their backs to bite 'em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so, ad infinitum. Of the many, many enemies that hop in this game, this guy is my favorite. I love his blue colorscheme, his very humanoid-mutant bipedal design, the whole package. I imagine him as being a fast-talking swindler working for the Foot clan to make ends meet.

Wall Crawler: One of Krang’s robot minions, he only shows up toward the end of the game during the wall-crawling stages to crawl at you along the walls. You’d think a Ninja Turtles game would have used the climbable wall throughout the game, but you’d also expect them to make the Dam level playable by human beings. The NES TMNT game knows what its about, however, so neither one of those things happened.

Dimension X Trooper: Ok, Krang can be sensible! We have what is either a robot or a human in armor, decked out with a jetpack and a laser gun. He uses both at the same time, flying and shooting, and compared to some of his coworkers (I’m looking at you, Boomerang Bouncer) he’s an overachiever, if a little simply designed. He shows up in later stages as a general foe and a low-power miniboss. 

Gunbot: He walks, he shoots, he’s like ED209, ET and Robocop had a baby. He’s not thrilling, but at least he mostly makes sense. He walks and shoots, doing the minimum required to get paid as a low-level video game flunky. This is why you’re never going to get promoted, Gunbot.

Whirly N.E.R.D. (Negligibly Effective Robot Drone): They take the place of Sky Prawns in later enemy sets. Essentially a robot scorpion with a helicopter blade attached to its tail in place of a stinger, removing the whole reason one would design a robot to look like a scorpion. If it is a robot, that is. TMNT for the NES doesn’t like you being able to tell the robots from the bugs, but this guy leans a bit more mechanical to my eye.

Dragon Knight: From this point on “mostly making sense” is not in the cards. This towering, probably robotic, warrior breathes fire and walks back and forth, which seems normal enough for a video game, unless you kill him by hitting his body. If you do that, his head will fly off, using the ears on the helmet as wings, and rush back and forth at high speed. I don’t know what raises more questions, him possibly being a robot designed to do this, or him being literally anything else.

Man-O-Bubbles: Ever since Metroid, flying jellyfish have been no surprise in video games. What is a surprise is when they explode into painful bubbles. Not when you kill them, just at random. While this could be a mutant, it seems more like something Krang would have smuggled in from Dimension X.

Kangosaurus-Bot V.4: Ok, so we’ve got a vaguely-Hadrosaurid robot dinosaur or possibly a kangaroo. With no arms. Who fights by jumping around and attacking with its tail. This is obviously one of Krang’s, but what is the goal here? Is this a robot version of some Dimension-X native animal? Is Krang really into Dougal Dixon? Were the comical arms with boxing gloves not ready by the time the Turtles breach the Technodrome? NES TMNT, give me your secrets!

Rock-Roc: This thing is either a hawk that has been trained to drop boulders larger than itself on talking humanoid turtles, or ti is a ROBOT hawk DESIGNED to drop boulders larger than itself on talking humanoid turtles. And its probably the latter, because it doesn’t show up until around the same time the Technodrome does. 

Spidrobyte-Men: We’re taken a triolobyte, a spider, and a person and combined them via the power of the ooze and we get these things. They slide up and down on web-lines from their asses, occasionally spitting bubbles that hurt. I’m betting because of digestive acid. Then again, I can’t even understand this things physiology, and it could just as equally be a mechanical claw on a tow-line that spits painful bubbles and hang out in caves. 

Pill Thug: Ok, this guy is my favorite, so I saved him for last. He’s a pill bug/rolly polly, mutated into a sort of pint-sized Megalon with a dancer’s physique, who either has a really big chin or hings his head open at the mid-section to spit pink tadpoles at our heroes. When not on the attack he rolls around in a ball. Everything about this guy is wacky and fun, and with a little more color and a splash of job-related theme, he could be a serviceable mutant foe for the Turtles in the larger franchise. 

I think I hit everything, minus some of the over-world Foot Vehicles and some basic wall turrets and things, but I have may have missed a few while playing to get screencaps, what with the cursing and all. Even cheating there’s enough one-hit kills to keep things challenging. 

EDIT: I missed two dudes!

The Goo Crew: This melty-looking dude who might be a foot soldier splits into tinier guys when you hit them, and those tinier guys turn into two even smaller guys when hit. I’ve decided he’s a slime creature that splits when hit, and all of his few in-game appearances are subdivisions of a larger whole. Maybe he’s a human foot soldier mutated with a slime mold. 

I missed him the first time through because he’s rare and the places where you do find him he can disappear off the screen edge easily, only to be replaced by one of those shifty unemployed toads when you come back to the area. 

Spiny Anthony: I know most people think he’s a porcupine, but his down-turned snoot says “echidna.” He jumps around in your personal space while occasionally shooting spikes out of his back like porcupines, hedgehogs and echidna’s all don’t. Like the other newly-minted mutants from this game, he doesn’t get clothes, so its hard to tell if he’s supposed to be a fully sapient mutanimal or just a beast, but I lean toward character whenever possible, so Spiny Anthony the Spiny Anteater is on the scene. 

Spiny Anthony and Big FleaKid are already teaming up to pull some scams on the tourists

[qutemag]

The movie guy reviews: Transformers -- The Last Knight

Article by Benjamin Harkin

Here we are. Every critic relishes this review, and many online have already let forth the torrent of bile that Transformers: The Last Knight deserves. Every Transformers movie I go in hoping I’ll be somewhat surprised that the movie reaches a baseline of ‘okay’, and bar maybe the third one which was brighter, more colourful and contained John Malkovich, every time I walk out frustrated and despairing. People say Michael Bay is an auteur – an auteur of what? Glorified tech demos? Showing off what the Industrial Light & Magic team can do? Because that’s all these movies have going for them. This is evident with the multiple aspect ratios, that’s right, IMDb records this movie showing three different aspect ratios, and another place thought the trailer had eight. You have black bars darting all around the image as the movie crops itself to fit around funky new cameras Michael Bay wants to toy with for the sponsorship. It is the weirdest, most distracting shit to see a movie switching aspect ratios all the way through for no discernible reason.

The film feels like six films meshed into one, or perhaps six plot threads focus-grouped into oblivion and smooshed together in a way that made some executive in a high-backed chair shift lazily in their seat to turn off the preview footage and say “fuck it, that’ll do” for the three editors to hastily clip together in something resembling a two and a half hour film. There’s the scene with a post-apocalyptic New York, ravaged after the climax of Transformers 4, with Transformers living in hiding of the anti-Transformers defense force set up to catch them, now that Optimus Prime is paralysed, orbiting the earth in a shell of his former self. Some foolhardy boys break into a ruined stadium with a giant jet engine ploughed into the field, saying self-aware bulldust like “we’re kids, we always get away with stuff!” Yes, that’s a fucking line in this movie. And not the worst by a mile. Then prowling the streets, looking under rubble, they run into a Transformer hiding itself under scrap. Couldn’t radar easily detect the hulking masses like Transformers for the military to destroy? Apparently fucking not, if a Transformer hides among some rubble, that’s a-okay. The kids then run into a girl, a strong-willed, adventurous-sounding 14-year-old who’s making her own way among the debris jungle and a close friend to this Transformer that gets mortally wounded by a fighter jet trying to save the kids. And do you think Bay uses this setup to anchor the film with a young heroine, make a movie that takes a U-turn on everything that the hypermasculine, Megan Fox-ass loving, dumb as a post joke-making crap that has defined his Transformers series? Fuck no, all the boys dialogue towards this girl is along the lines of “wow…she’s hot!” and “Are you single?” Fucking gross and sad is all I can say. Michael Bay can’t wait to get started on the explosions, objectification, and immaturity. The young girl doesn’t do anything of note in the movie, hell, I can’t even remember her name. She gets sidelined at the halfway point, literally left behind in a junkyard with her BB-8 rip-off robot. Michael Bay instead wheels out the contractually obliged Megan Fox stand-in to be the impetus for Mark Wahlberg to do something in the movie and crack a few lines about how single they both are. Wahlberg was probably given acting advice to approach the character by showing a face in deep thought over how utterly hot it would be if he and the Oxford tour-guide Megan Fox stand-in lady banged with the Transformers watching.

“Are you single?” proves to be a theme in this movie, more than any kind of motif or any of the half-mumbled prattling about values that Optimus Prime manages to heave out of this exhaustingly mind-numbing, overbloated movie. Characters are defined by whether they’re single or not, not whether they fight for honesty, or freedom, or love, or caring for friends, or whether they want to be friends with giant robots. Nah it’s the fact that Mark Wahlberg and Megan Fox stand-in in this movie are on steroids and the camera treats them like they’re perpetually posing for Tinder. Characters from earlier in the series, like John Turturro, make manically unintelligible appearances to rant about doomsday situations. A physics scientist gets laughed at when he tells the president the world will end in roughly three days. Optimus Prime manages to awake himself out of being basically a dead robot to shoot himself somehow across the galaxy onto his home planet of Cybertron, which he knows was destroyed but fuck it, why not go there for refuge? And why not fall back to earth if you’re a dead shell of a Transformer? Nah, the logic in this movie is adverse to science or plot logic, or continuity, or good filmmaking, his dead body can float across the galaxy instead! Cybertron is now run by some Sorceress Robot Woman who twists Optimus into getting Cybertron fixed as a planet by colliding it with earth to suck up the planet’s core. Fucking who knows. Cybertron somehow flies across the universe in the time it takes this movie to skim across five other unresolved plot threads, like why Mark Wahlberg has a spiderly amulet thing that’s super powerful and what he is actually supposed to do with it, or what the whole deal was with the three-headed dragon robot that appears at points throughout the film, or why Megatron wants to break out his mates Suicide Squad-style or why the humans are willing to work with Megatron who was the bane of everyone for the previous four movies, or why John Goodman’s cigar-chomping Transformer gets blown up by rockets and falls over, presumed dead as the camera cuts to a new scene, then he just randomly reappears later on, or why Bumblebee fought Nazis in WWII. And the location used for the scene of Nazis being blown to smithereens, full with Swastika banners draped over the looming building? That my friends is Winston Churchill’s house. I’m sure Britain’s favourite wartime leader, known for everything Hitler was not, span so hard in his grave he tunnelled to the earth’s core.

Stanley Tucci plays a drunk Merlin in a flashback to the Dark Ages, for reasons never fully explored, despite being another character in the present for the previous movie. The Great Tucci Retcon. Oh and there’s Anthony Hopkins too. A wisened masterclass of an actor, made remarkably awkward and a total caricature for a man who used to be Hannibal Lector. He’s in this, 110% for the paycheck. Bay makes him say ‘duuuude’ and ‘that’s a bitch-ass car!’ because it’s cool to make grandpa say hip things sometimes. He has a robot butler assistant who’s also a borderline homicidal maniac for reasons that are never explained. He also has a WWI tank Transformer who has ‘robot-dementia’ or whatever which is an interesting concept far too intriguing for a movie this unforgiveably terrible so the Transformer is yet another sidelined idea in a litany of focus-grouped half-baked brain farts.

The entire movie is unfunny, every joke (and there are heaps, all undercutting the otherwise dead-serious grit and aimed at the lowest denominator possible while conscious) hits like a fucking sledgehammer wielded by lemurs on crack, rushed in delivery, painfully without any semblance of cleverness or wit, the setup too predictable and the payoff so fucking moronic, with editing so poor in timing that a joke about the butler robot playing the sweeping Transformer themes on an organ to give the scene a gravitas was completely lost when Anthony Hopkins cranked his sad, demur grimace up to the butler so slow you could’ve gone to the bathroom and back and the joke would still be playing out. I’ve said it once after Pain & Gain and I’ll say it again: Michael Bay cannot direct comedy and he shouldn’t. For whatever reason the gift of a funny bone doesn’t materialise in the filmmaking process.

The fight scenes are meh. Every one lacks any weight because frankly you don’t give a fuck about any of this while watching. You don’t care which Transformer fights which because they’re all so underutilised and shallow that you could probably get more pizzazz in banging your stapler against the computer mouse on a slow day at the office. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how half these scenes of metal clunking against metal were storyboarded. And they don’t mean anything either, Transformers are rarely shown actually being killed, and yet the ones shown dying without any fights or lead-up (because the editing is god-awful and rushed) are full on bleeding weird green blood which is probably too violent for a young kid, which is where this gritty, dark-looking, yet oddly cartoonish spaghetti-works is squarely aimed.

I should probably end this review somewhere. This sounds like a good place. I could go on and honestly, part of me felt the usual catharsis of a critic tearing a big-budget Hollywood mess to shreds, and giving the finger to this kind of spiteful, audience-hating focus-grouped piss that flows through the summer action blockbuster gate from time to time, but another part of me doesn’t feel that catharsis. Instead, a part of me feels a silent rage, because I know this review, or any other review, or any of all the people who happen to see these movies for what I could only describe as sheer self-flagellation and tell everyone else it is complete garbage, it won’t stop Michael Bay making Transformers, and it sure as hell won’t stop the franchise. Somehow this is what gets bankrolled over those millions of other screenplays of what could be great action blockbusters. Michael Bay has said he’s stepping down from the Transformers franchise, but that’s what he always says. Paramount have two more Transformers movies lined up for the next two years, they see this as being able to grow out into yet another expanded universe franchise with Bumblebee getting a spin-off movie. I know this is useless, this review. It’s just words screamed into a void, a void of producers and executives running endless focus groups, workshopping the movies through too many editors and writers and camera lenses for maximum 3D so everyone can spend the biggest amount of dollars possible. Because this is the thing: Michael Bay doesn’t care. Mark Wahlberg doesn’t care. Anthony Hopkins doesn’t care. Maybe the digital effects people care. All the people involved in this production, they watch the finished product and I’m sure that no matter where they thought their part was going, they were a little deflated and depressed by it too, especially the fifth time around, but they can forget about their shame at the end of the day. Because they’re all getting their paycheck and a contract for Transformers 6, and you’re doing yourself out of the $20+ you spent to see this rotten film.

(Transformers: The Last Knight is currently showing.)

[car-loanz]

10 best Hollywood chase scenes you really must catch

Some of the most memorable scenes on screen involve chases. Pulse-quickening car pursuits with danger at every turn. Imperial troops on the tail of rebels and smugglers in a galaxy far, far away. Man vs. plane, with everything at stake. Whatever the scenario, they captivate us with elements of surprise, stress, sometimes comedy, and always top-notch action.

Here are 10 of the best chase scenes in Hollywood history for you to check out, and the fun trivia behind the epic entertainment.

  Fast Five (2011)

    The Fast and the Furious franchise is loaded with over-the-top car chases and “Fast Five” is no exception. In the finale, Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) are racing through downtown Rio de Janeiro in their modified Dodge Charger SRT-8s while being tailed by the Rio police. The catch? Attached to the cars is a vault that belongs to Rio’s biggest crime lord, Hernan Reyes.

Trivia

Some of the downtown Rio scenes in the chase were actually shot in Hato Rey, Puerto Rico.

More than 200 vehicles were destroyed by the vault during filming.

Six versions of the eight-foot high vault were created with specific uses – some for close-up shots, others to drag through the streets.

  Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

    Though the whole movie is one big car chase, the finale takes the cake with Furiosa (Charlize Theron), Max (Tom Hardy) and the Vuvalini tribe driving back to Citadel and clashing with Immortan Joe and his armies. The scene features vamped-up cars and plenty of weapons as the two sides speed through canyons and desert, battling each other to the death.

Trivia

More than 80 percent of the effects in the film are real, practical effects, stunts, makeup and sets.

The older actresses playing the Vuvalini did their own stunts.

The film used three identical war rigs based on a Czech all-wheel-drive military vehicle.

  The Dark Knight (2008)

    The first showdown between the Joker (Heath Ledger) and Batman (Christian Bale) does not disappoint. This memorable scene shows the Joker and his clowns chasing down and attacking Harvey Dent’s (Aaron Eckhart) convoy, which inevitably lures Batman into the fray, on his übercool Batpod. What ensues is an epic ride through the dark, underground streets of Gotham City as Batman attempts to capture the villainous Joker.

Trivia

The Gotham City license plates were based on Illinois license plates.

One very pricy IMAX camera was destroyed while filming the chase scene. It was one of just four in the world at the time.

As filming took place in downtown Chicago, citizens called police to report that “police” were in pursuit of a dark vehicle of an unknown make and model.

  Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

    Pursued by four TIE fighters, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and C-3PO enter the Hoth asteroid field trying to lose Imperial ships while simultaneously avoiding massive asteroids. Not the easiest feat, even for Han. Mixed with comedy and fast-flying action, it’s here that Han utters the famous line, “Never tell me the odds.”

Trivia

The Millennium Falcon model was made much lighter than in the previous film in order to have the ship move and turn more fluidly.

During the scene, a pilot briefly can be seen bailing out with a parachute after the TIE fighter is hit by an asteroid.

When the Millennium Falcon first enters the asteroid field, the third asteroid to appear in the top-left corner is actually a potato!

  North by Northwest (1959)

    One of the most iconic scenes in movie history is when Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) is attacked by a crop duster plane, while waiting for a meeting with the mysterious Kaplan, at an isolated bus stop. Alfred Hitchcock’s camera angles create panic throughout the scene as Thornhill ducks and dives for his life.

Trivia

The crop duster chase scene featured a real airplane while the scene in which the plane crashes into the fuel truck included large models of both the truck and plane.

The crop duster scene was meant to take place in northern Indiana, but was shot on location on Garces Highway in Kern County, California.

This scene inspired the helicopter chase in the James Bond movie “From Russia with Love.”

  The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

  In the third installment of the Bourne series we find Jason Bourne (Matt Damon), still tracking down his true identity, in a high-speed, adrenaline-pumping pursuit through the streets and homes of Tangier, Morocco. This time Bourne is after Operation Blackbriar asset Desh Bouksani, and prevents him from killing Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), who has been helping Bourne.

Trivia

While filming in Tangier, the crew had to close down the busiest square in the city for several hours.

The meeting place Nicky chooses in Tangier is Café de Paris, which was a popular spot for spies and emissaries back in the day.

Because Tangier is a very crowded city, the flow of people was hard to control and the actors had to push through a crowd of locals, not extras.

  What’s Up, Doc? (1972)

    They don’t make them like this anymore. The 11-minute chase is relatively slow-paced by today’s standards, but perfectly choreographed for comedy. It features the two protagonists, Judy Maxwell (Barbra Streisand) and Howard Bannister (Ryan O’Neal), stealing four suitcases and being pursued by multiple characters all wanting their possessions back. Starting on a delivery bicycle in downtown San Francisco, the duo take their lives in their hands as they ride through Chinatown, down the steep inclines of Lombard Street, and end up crashing a stolen Volkswagen Beetle in San Francisco Bay.

Trivia

The chase scene cost $1 million to shoot, took 19 days and required 32 stuntmen.

Shots of the floating Volkswagen Beetle were a parody of the vehicle’s ability to float on water, which was shown in advertisements at the time.

The comedic scene was a spoof of the 1968 movie “Bullitt.”

  Point Break (1991)

    When federal agent Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) goes deep undercover to find bank-robbing surfers he finds himself chasing leader of the pack Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), who’s wearing a Ronald Reagan mask, through a Southern California neighborhood. It’s a high-paced and enthralling foot chase.

Trivia

Keanu Reeves observed real FBI agents in Los Angeles to study for his role.

Director Kathryn Bigelow used a stripped-down, hand-held 35 mm camera nicknamed the “Pogo-Cam” to film the chase scene.

Patrick Swayze, who usually did his own stunts, did not do the stunts his character performs while wearing the Reagan mask – they were carried out by a stunt double.

  The French Connection (1971)

    Detectives Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy Russo (Roy Scheider) are on the hunt to intercept a massive drug shipment from France. Naturally, an awesome car chase follows. Popeye takes over a civilian’s car and goes after an elevated train, with the hit man aboard, through the streets of New York.

Trivia

Many of the near-collisions in the movie were real and unplanned since the chase scene was filmed without the proper city permits.

Gene Hackman did a lot of his own driving throughout the chase scene.

The most famous shot of the chase comes from a camera mounted on the car’s front bumper, giving a low-angle viewpoint.

  Bullitt (1968)

    For perhaps the best car chase scene of all time, “Bullitt” gives us a 10-minute pursuit, with unmistakable ‘60s cool, on the streets of San Francisco. Here, Frank Bullitt (Steve McQueen) is careering after criminals up and down busy roads in a green 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback GT. This full-throttle, tire-squealing scene became the inspiration for later Hollywood car chases.

Trivia

Steve McQueen made a point to keep his head near the open car window during the chase scene so audiences would know he was driving.

The car chase called for speeds of 75 to 80 mph but the cars actually topped speeds of 110 mph.

Filming the chase scene took three weeks and resulted in 10 minutes and 53 seconds of footage in the film.

  Sources:

https://ift.tt/2h9lebW

https://ift.tt/1ap5NIg

https://ift.tt/1xXRWBj

https://ift.tt/2gSZAN7

https://ift.tt/2h9libJ

https://ift.tt/2gSX1uD

https://ift.tt/2h9plEW

https://ift.tt/2gT3eH3

https://ift.tt/2h9jb7Y

https://ift.tt/2gT7FSf

https://ift.tt/1Yx5oav

https://ift.tt/1iHmD6S

https://ift.tt/2BL1IPF

https://ift.tt/2U24GWO

https://ift.tt/2h9na4u

      from RoadLoans Auto Blog | RoadLoans https://ift.tt/2h9joYK via IFTTT

[placetobenation]

As many of you are aware, WWE Network is pretty packed with all sorts of content. And as you may also know, we here at Place to Be Nation love long term, in depth projects. So, as part of this initiative, members of the PTBN Staff are choosing programs at random and after watching each program, they will share their thoughts, notes and recommendations with our readers. So, settle in and enjoy this epic ride through wrestling history!

Clash Of The Champions I Run Time: 114 Minutes

Why Dave  Why???: As I was growing up down here in Australia, the only wrestling I was exposed to was the WWF. Then in 1988, I discovered “Pro Wrestling Illustrated”. The first issues I ever saw were the WrestleMania IV recaps, but the magazine was gushing all over the NWA Clash of Champions card. It was my first exposure to non-WWF wrestling. They said this was an amazing card that stomped all over the action at WrestleMania IV. When I finally got access to the WWE network, it was one of the first cards I sat and watched. The reason this was chosen for the adventure this week was that I was interested to how it held up after all these years, especially as the Place to Be Podcast is in the middle of reviewing 1988 WWF.

Best Segment

So I did some bad things…

Brian Bayless: This show was all about the matches as opposed to the “segments” but if I had to choose I guess the interaction between Jim Cornette and Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell). It wasn’t great, but better than the interviews that took place on the show and Osmond was a good sport.

Jacob Williams: The chaos that ensued after the Midnight Express match was only rivaled by the match itself.

Calum McDougall: My segment of the night is everything that involved the Midnight Express vs. the Fantastics. You got the sense that these four men hated each other and James E. even got a good amount of licks in I felt the same as the crowd in the arena who were hot throughout, I loved it.

Dave Hall: Jim Cornette whipping the Fantastics. After a great match, we were treated to a post-match brawl, and Cornette whipping Bobby Fulton with a belt. It generated great heat, and added fuel to the fire of this feud after the “Dusty” Finish. Cornette played the part of the furious and crazed manager, while Eaton and Lane kept Rogers at bay. Simple but effective.

Best Match

Really? Us?

Brian Bayless: The Fantastics vs. Midnight Express for the U.S. Tag Team Titles packed an incredible amount of action in a little under ten minutes. The match started off with a wild brawl and the heat was maintained throughout. The finish was weak (somewhat of a theme tonight) but I guess that was how they wanted to keep this feud going.

Jacob Williams: As epic and important as Flair/Sting was, I have to give it to Midnight Express vs The Fantastics by a hair. It was just ten minutes of (total) nonstop action with insane crowd heat. Every single person involved, including Cornette, went full bore.

Calum McDougall: Will I honor one of my correct answers in the recent PTB500 Trivia Contest and pick Rotundo vs Garvin? In a word…no! Sting vs Flair is the best match on a fantastic show. Probably the most famous match of these their rivalry, it was a 45 minute draw that felt less than half that time. What can I say that hasn’t been said before? It was a star making performance that began Sting’s ascent into becoming the franchise of WCW. All the stars!

Dave Hall: With several strong contenders for match of the night, I went with the Midnights vs. the Fantastics. This match was non-stop action from the moment the teams got in the ring. It was fast-paced, great double team moves, outside the ring action, and a strong post-match angle. The “Dusty Finish” was not necessary, but it did not detract from the match.

Most Cringeworthy Moment

Cookookatchoo!

Brian Bayless: “Dr. Death” Steve Williams’ return interview from Japan was horrendous. He tripped all over his words while talking about challenging Ric Flair! Later on in the show when I saw Al Perez’s interview (Perez was not good on the stick and lacked charisma) with Gary Hart as his manager, it was clear that Hart should have been managing Williams and they should have made Williams heel.

Jacob Williams: Dr. Death stumbled through his promo. He kept pausing and skipping like he was malfunctioning.

Calum McDougall: Dr. Death’s interview with Bob Caudle was the most cringeworthy moment on this show – it was painful to watch and listen to. He said a lot of words but didn’t say anything of substance at all! Is he Dusty’s friend? Is he his enemy? I think he challenged Ric Flair but I’m not entirely sure. Why don’t you just use this time to reintroduce him by killing a jobber? You know, what he’s good at!

Dave Hall: After an amazing main event where Flair and Sting tore the house down, we were subjected to a “judges’ decision” in which non-wresting celebrities were used, and one of the “wrestling legends” voted for a draw. You have a judge there to make a decision when one is not achieved in the match. I thought this was really stupid and a waste of time.

Funniest Line/Moment

Any Questions?

Brian Bayless: “Get high on sports, not drugs.” – Bob Caudle’s deadpan delivery while reading off of the poster Nikita Koloff held up during his promo about teaming with Dusty Rhodes for the Crockett Cup.

Jacob Williams: In an incredible heel move, Cornette just blasts the ref with his racket on his way backstage.

Calum McDougall: With two play-by-play guys like Tony and Ross I was hard pressed to find anything that stood out, and I totally switched off when it came to the interviews by Caudle, so my quote of the night is one that I imagine that happened backstage. “I got a great idea baby! Tonight, the American Dream is tag teaming with the Road Warriors. So tonight, daddy, Dusty Rhodes will put on some face paint! For one night only, Dusty Rhodes will be Road Warrior Dream baby!”

Dave Hall: For me the funniest moment of the night was when, early in the event, the commentators were talking about the crowd at this NWA event, and the camera panned to a young fan cheering wildly. Clearly wearing a Jake “The Snake” Roberts t-shirt.

Highlights

The most important mustaches in the history of our sport.

Brian Bayless: The other Tag Team Title match was also a blast with Lex Luger & Barry Windham winning the titles. he main event of Ric Flair vs. Sting for the NWA World Heavyweight Title started off slow but built up well and ended up being a damn good match.

Jacob Williams: I loved the construction of the show. Aside from the lame opener, the show really built well and flowed into the huge main event. The two marquee tag matches were amazing. The crowd was nuclear and made nearly every match seem huge. There were a few slow spots in the main event, but the best moments are what wrestling is all about.

Calum McDougall: Straight out the traps in this show with Tony Schiavone’s majestic mustache, then we move straight to Randy Anderson’s permed mullet – if you meshed the two together you’d get Ross Gellar in a flashback episode of Friends. The post match of the TV Title match is outstanding too, with Precious being my MVP, she was absolutely fantastic. And finally, Dusty Rhodes’ face paint – I like when guys try to blend in with their partners, like Ahmed Johnson at WrestleMania 13 and Kurt Angle at TLC ’17.

Dave Hall: This was a strong card, with several really good matches. The NWA really put on a solid event to counter WrestleMania IV. The Main Event was a coming of age party for Sting, and Flair was at his in-ring best. The Tully/Arn vs Windham/Luger match was very good as well, with a good finish that really popped the crowd. As mentioned the Midnights vs Fantastics was an awesome fast-paced match. I even enjoyed the “unique rules” of the Garvin vs Rotunda match. While it was not a blow-away match, the one count rule made for interesting psychology, which both wrestlers and the commentators played up, and the “round” idea was different. I don’t know that I would want to see such a match again, but I enjoyed the unique way it was done.

Lowlights

Fuck this guy.

Brian Bayless:  Not much to complain about on this show but selling the main event as having judges make a decision in case of a draw then not even having two of the judges give a score while the tie-breaking judge scores it a draw makes you think why even have them to begin with?

Jacob Williams: The opener was very flat, especially compared to the energy of everything else on the show. Really the only lowlight, as I thought the barbed wire match was at least an interesting novelty that didn’t overstay its welcome.

Calum McDougall: Every. Single. Interview. They were all so dull, and I completely zoned out when they came on. The Barbed Wire six man was pretty bad too, whole lot of nothing. And Nikita Koloff with hair, that was a striking visual that I wasn’t expecting, some guys just should stay bald.

Dave Hall: For me the only in-ring lowlight was the Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes match vs Powers of Pain/Ivan Koloff match. With all six in the ring at once, it looked more like a battle royal, and how can you have a barbed wire match and not use the wire? It looked like all six men were trying to avoid the edge of the ring, and finish as quick as they can. Total waste of time. The other lowlight was the use of “judges in the main event”, three of whom had no business “judging” a wrestling match. And then they could not even make a decision. This should never have been included. I would have just rather we end the match as they did, and then go off the air.

Wild Card BABY!!!

Wildcard!

Best Tidbit #1: At the time there were rumors of Jim Crockett Promotions taking over World Class Championship Wrestling and having Kevin & Kerry Von Erich debut on this show. – BB

Most Monotone: The personality vacuum that is Frances Crockett. Never has someone been on television that seemed less enthused about anything ever. – CM

PSA of the Night: Get high on sports, not drugs! Thanks, Nikita Koloff! – JW

Most Redundant: Jason Hervey and Ken Osmond who were brought in to be judges in the main event… and their opinions were never asked for nor taken into account when deciding the victor of the match. – CM

Who Edited This??: How can you have an interview with Jim Cornette hyping him and the Midnight Express AFTER their match is completed. This interview should have been before the match. This just seemed so out of place. – DH

Best Tidbit #2: According to the Warlord, Dusty Rhodes put him together with the Barbarian and Animal of the Road Warriors came up with the Powers of Pain name. – BB

Final Thoughts

Brian Bayless: After the WWF screwed with Crockett earlier in the year by running the Royal Rumble free on USA opposite of the Bunkhouse Stampede PPV, Crockett returned the favor and ran this opposite of WrestleMania IV. This show was so much better than the PPV and might have been the best free TV special in wrestling history. A show that breezed by and the crowd was pumped the entire night. An awesome offering that all fans should seek out. RATING: 9/10

Jacob Williams: If this had just a little bit more to offer in the early going (like a good opener) this might be 10/10. As it stands, it is still an amazing show with an incredible amount of greatness crammed into two hours that encapsulates why people still hold 80s NWA wrestling so near and dear. RATING: 9/10

Calum McDougall: This show is legendary for a reason. Three out of the five matches were outstanding and the other two could’ve been good had they not been hamstrung a bit by the gimmick. But this show is head and shoulders above WrestleMania IV and the 90 matches it went head to head with. It’s easy to say that this is a one match show, given how memorable Flair vs Sting is, but there’s much more to it than the time limit draw. I cant recommend this enough. RATING: 8/10

Dave Hall: A really good event, which still holds up today. Of the five matches, only one was not any good. Three of the other four matches were outstanding, and the Garvin vs Rotunda match was enjoyable. I can see why it got such praise back in 1988, and I think it still deserves lots of praise today. It could have used a couple of strong interviews to hype some of the matches for people who would have been tuning into NWA for the first time (especially from Flair and Sting), which drops the score a point in my opinion. RATING: 9/10

And we are out! Where will the Network Adventure travel to? Which Coliseum will be conquered next? Which of these assholes will quit the project in an indignant rage??? Find out in TWO WEEKS!