#the line art was fun! probably the first time ive ever enjoyed doing line art!
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cheesesubmas · 2 months ago
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hools · 8 months ago
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Sorry if this is a weird question, but how do you come up with your drawings? What does through your mind while making them? I find your compositions so gorgeous and intriguing but I can't really figure out how you approach things since everything's very shifty and abstract. It's really gorgeous work, I'm so glad I discovered your art :,)
hey first of all this isnt a weird question at all & i'm really glad you enjoy my art heheheheheehe. there's an incoming large largely unformatted block of text that i hope you dont mind!
Honestly there are a billion things going through my mind at a time while I'm drawing and they all sort of bump into each other and cancel each other out like opposing particles. If you've seen any of my streams i'm usually very fast and iterative in a lot of my process and i rarely ever slow down even past the early parts like thumbnailing and sketching. i kind of let my hands do the talking more, yknow? but even then theyre never talking about a single thing at a time. everything interacts with everything, which is probably why i always end up getting lost and meandering. composition is not independent from color & value and neither are they from texture and perspective. its hard thinking of all of the ways they mesh and react to one another so i spend less of my energy thinking and more of it doing, and then assessing once something interesting comes about it. i guess then i prioritize my Hand Movement Actioning and Eye Vision Seeing over my Brain Neuron Assessing. but even though iterations can come and go quick this kind of informed throwing-against-the-wall isn't really the Fastest. but its fun. and you get to stuff all the unused ideas in your pocket for later.
even though i did say how connected everything is i always seem to start with composition. it kind of affects and informs everything the most at least on an individual piece level. with thumbnails & composition in general i think youre supposed to think huge right. so i Always think huge. push everything as much as you can. start with a crazy angle (not necessarily angle meaning "perspective" but like an angle between two lines) and border your scene within it. take an already steep foreshortening and steepen it further with the transform tool & see what shapes form from the empty & filled space. shrink your subject to only fit 3/4ths of the canvas and build around it to make it work. blow things up (enlargen) and blow things up (remove & obliterate). with composition you have so much room for fuckery if you give yourself the grace to accept the fuckiness.
and i guess this freedom to fuck around and iterate and build and build and build upon comes from how most of the time my initial ideas are very. vague? abstract like you've said. sometimes its Just a song or a song lyric and nothing else (no characters to attach to just the feel and my gut). sometimes its a less than 5 word phrase i felt strongly about throughout the day. in my me-only discord server i have messages in #to-draw channel that just say shit like "something about guitar straps" "thanks for knowing me!" "angel don't look at me" "DITHER QUEEN" (<-been meaning to make something with that). for things that have specific guidelines i spend more time thinking conceptually (the "rare animal" coelacanth drawing being an example) but otherwise it mostly comes out after. again. the first strokes. after you put the meat and bones on the canvas. an artist at a workshop i was at last year when i was in my own head about Needing to have a fleshed tangible Profound concept before being able to start something told me not to underestimate the stories that can be told just by your hands. and i think thats what stuck with me the most.
& one last thing i wanna mention is how despite how much i revel in the chaos of the process ive found how important limits are. i don't like cutting back on everything but i like cutting back on some things. sometimes i cut out backgrounds for solid fills and i love them that much more. sometimes i have little subconscious rules in a piece that i try not to break to keep a little level of consistency. if somethings a big wonderful mess already then i love a limited pallet and i love keeping parts empty and i love being able to breathe a little. yknow. but still go over the top in the other parts you have so much permission to. less is more but have a little more in your art than less. YKNOW?
but yeah thanks again for your kind words and wanting to listen to me talk. i havent been drawing much at all so these arent too fresh on the mind but i think i got a lot of what i wanted to say out. i hope u and others can get things out of this! if i made any sense <3
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theunconcernedembalmer · 4 years ago
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To the owner of this blog can I just say- you’re legitimately one of my favorite artists like. Ever. I follow a lot of artists but your art style just vibes really hard and I don’t know why but it’s very very good and you are Improving Good and ah. Yes. The good shit. Like other then da vinky and shit you’re one of the best. Rant over aaa
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Sobs thank you so so much,,,,, I’ll seriously never get used to hearing that I’m someone’s favourite artist cos there’s so many others out there who have. better artist stats in my humble opinion ldahfljhdgjlasdhg
I’m really glad to hear that I’m improving!! I’m getting busier (and more tired aha) so I don’t exactly have a lot of energy to spare in terms of experimentations and studies, so I kinda thought that my style might stagnate which I know I will eventually hate. But I guess I’ve found ways to make small but significant adjustments to my style within my energy boundaries so that won’t be a problem in the near future XD
Thank you once again, I’m truly very grateful for this message and your support!!! I hope you guys can continue enjoying the blog as much as I do!! <3
#its me the mun#mun rambles#i seriously. will never get used to that lahflhdsflkjashgk#there are some times when i feel like my art style is very meh. theres nothing special about it. n ppl talk about same face syndrome#which i probably have. n lack of body types. which i also probably lack#like. i have a lot of artists that inspire me n each of them have something very specific to their style which makes it Good#sometimes its just the way they stylize stuff in such a distinct and elegant way. other times its the way they use colours#since i hate using colours. i am actually struggling in my watercolour class cos of this reason HAHAHAHA#some artists have very good sense of composition and flow#personally i think my composition sucks cos its too static. but i also know its cos my first draft is always the final one#so unless i spend more energy to add dynamic to it it aint happening HAHAHAHA#considering my energy levels im content with this actually. especially since im leaning more towards comics. which require a lot of energy#i dont ever think i can do illustrations very well with my thiccccc lines n very bad colour sense aha#i never really found anything special in my art so its always a surprise when ppl tell me they really like it. honestly aha#i think a bit of it also comes to ppl hating on conventionally aesthetic styles. which i guess mine falls under#having said all that. all these critiques fly out the window when im actually having fun drawing HAHAHAHA#its usually when i do comics or really self indulgent doodles#so bottom line is that i am aware of all the places i might want to work on. but i shouldnt stress so much on it#cos im having fun with my art right now. its just really heartening to know that others are enjoying my stuff as much as i am#i know i havent done comics in a while. but ive been trying to plan one for the longest time so hopefully i can get to it soon HAHAHA
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aftonfamilyvalues · 2 years ago
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im on anon because im crypto but since i ever first started watching arcane and looked into his VA since i love silco and Saw how he acted online like wayyy too up and personal with the "fandom" but it pretty much consisted of young girls like me (22) or maybe even younger who were just so obsessed with him. I snapped out of it i had to remind myself and my friends he literally isnt silco and his voice can be done by literaly any man who can do a slight accent and sound old and dusty and ugly. anyway FUCK jason spisak.
i mostly just saw likes and nice little comments on and retweets of fan art which obviously isnt any red flag. i liked some of the video clips, i especially loved the drunk history of zaun. it was my favorite, he looked like a fun drunk but thats a bit ruined now, isnt it?
rip those reaction images, you did not age well.
nothing he posted was ever out of the ordinary to me either, upcoming conventions, signing stream dates, those stupid little positivity posts that your parents generation loves... apparently i missed all the silco x jinx stuff he liked though which is already gross but more disturbing that his young gf is a jinx cosplayer. certainly no connection there, right?
well, come to think of it, i do recall some obvious thirst trap selfies. specifically, i remember the one he posted on the floor and me being absolutely enamored with the beautiful hardwood. he was gunning hard for those "damn zaddy 🤩🤩🤩" comments. that probably should have been some sort of flag for me but i didnt mind. i know hes ugly but you... know me. unfortunately. i know, i know, im disappointed in me too. that hardwood floor though!
then there was the signing live stream clips ive seen where women ask for some slightly flirty things written, didnt really bother me. i admittedly enjoyed some of those lines so again, overlooked it, rationalized it. i only ever saw that sort of thing with silco and never any of the other characters he voices. i figured it was because arcane is for adults, i throw a caution flag to that but all in all everyone in the stream is an adult (or at least should be given the 18+ warning on the twitch channel) and as long as he didnt pull some bullshit outside of giving a customer what they want for a few bucks, it wasnt a huge concern. people do that all the time, gets them paid.
except, you know, it seems he did pull bullshit. so... rip! i have got to stop being so trusting that men behave like well adjusted individuals. silly me, i expect nothing and im always let down. lthe only guy i can think of who suddenly had a sizable fanbase dominated by young women and acted normally about it was bryan dechart but maybe im missing something there, who knows.
i heard mick wingert, the guy who voices heimerdinger (and unofficially, ghetsis in pokemon masters for context of the video this links to), does a very good silco impression!
anyway! thanks for coming to retrospective on jason spisak. whatever, look at this nice signed print i framed! *fucking shoots myself in the head*
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ohwereusingourmadeupnames · 5 years ago
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It’s the Colours You Have
Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M)  Notes: This is my ballet au fill for @starkerfestivals summer bingo. I had a lot of fun doing some research and watching some ballet to get a feel for this one - here’s hoping you enjoy! (Title is from Colours by Grouplove) Warnings: Peter suffers a pretty not good injury and there’s some NSWF stuff.  Summary: 
Peter Parker grew up in the dance studio and thought his entire life would revolve around it. All of a sudden, an injury takes that dream out from under him. He finds a way to stay in the world of dance through photography, his knowledge giving his work a different edge. What happens when he meets Tony Stark, a new dancer for NYCB? (Love stuff happens, that's what.)
Read on AO3 here.
Peter always thought professional dance would be his life.
At a young age, he convinced Uncle Ben to let him try one of the local studio’s classes. It took a bit of convincing – Peter was 6 years old at the time and didn’t quite understand the man’s hesitance. In the months leading up to Peter’s plea, he danced around the sofa in their living room and obsessively watched Step Up – where most boys his age were rolling around in the dirt, Peter studied the lines of dancers’ bodies and pictured himself making those same exact moves.
After what felt like a lifetime for Peter, Ben finally gave in and signed him up for all of the classes available. In his excitement, Peter took everything seriously and excelled through the beginner’s classes before the year was over. Madame Romanoff pulled Ben and May aside when sign-ups and company auditions for the next year were about to take place – in the simplest of terms, she let them know how talented of a dancer Peter was; he needed to be taking more advanced classes.
So, he did – Ben and May didn’t hesitate to put him where he needed to be; they already knew his potential, he was steadily moving through grades at school, too. Their nephew had an innate sense of talent for just about everything. Peter put his entire being into the things he liked – it made putting the squeeze in worth it. For a while, he didn’t see what that meant for the two of them – he simply enjoyed the fact that he could dance and get better at it with every single day that passed.
Landing a place on Romanoff’s dance company gave him access to top notch ballet instructors. He was very small but made up for it in the strength that he possessed. With the intention of making him one of the male pas de deux dancers, Peter cut out the rest of his classes and focused solely on ballet and pointe. It made him feel powerful and in a lot of ways beautiful, too. Even if it was weird for boys his age to love dance and feel their best while doing it. He’d gladly take the teasing – Peter loved to dance and no one was going to stop him.
The dance world took him under and guided all of his decision making. Peter worked hard all of middle school to get into Midtown Fine Arts and Dance, a high school that catered to those that were seeking entry into art’s colleges like Juilliard and TISCH. Getting in was a validation he’d been searching for and everything about his life moved to revolve around his time there.
Between Romanoff’s and Midtown, Peter was working so hard that he didn’t even realize he’d put himself in a position where his body couldn’t handle the stress. He wanted to get into Juilliard so bad and knew the only way he’d be able to go was through a scholarship. In every class since his freshman year, Peter heard about senior showcases and how every second in the walls of Midtown were preparation for that.
Every dancing piece in productions, Peter took part in. Whenever they needed a volunteer teacher to run through the parts with the younger kids, Peter volunteered. The desire to succeed overwhelmed him and by the time he got around to preparing for his senior showcase, he was at a loss and so physically exhausted, there were times when he didn’t know how he was actually still standing.
That should’ve been a clue – the fact that every part of his day felt like a chore, and that when he sat down to rest, he was comatose within seconds. Other things were trying to warn him of the ultimate shut down coming his way. His toes never recovered from the extensive pointe exercises and his muscles were always aching. If he knew that pushing himself would have been the thing that brought the world he created down – well, he still probably would have done it.
Two weeks before senior showcases, Peter was warming up when he felt a sharp shift in his lower back during a turn. The wince it pulled from him almost doubled him over. He stopped suddenly and took a couple of limping steps towards the long bar across the back wall. Hiking his leg onto the bar, Peter let out a loud ‘fuck’ when he felt the shift again. The want to keep going couldn’t override the numbness he felt in his toes.
As elegantly as he could, Peter hit ground and laid down as flat as he could, his entire lower back on fire.
It took 3 people to get him up off the ground; any sort of shift in weight made the source of his pain explode with unmanageable stimulus. Peter didn’t remember much of the movement from the floor to a gurney and into the back of an ambulance – his brain turned off to counteract the significant shift in his life happening.
The next few hours were spent getting scans and assessments done – Peter floated along from one place to another in the haze of the drugs they gave him to relieve the world ending pain. He didn’t need to hear the doctor’s words after he saw the look in his eyes – any chance of getting to Juilliard on his feet was out the window. 2 fractured lumbar vertebrae that would need to be fused and 3 ruptured disks were the thing to finally take him out. He wondered briefly, if Flash would feel undercut by his injury – he’d been gunning after Peter for years.
Thankfully, Midtown was sympathetic to his situation and let him stay around to finish the end of the year and graduate. It took a lot out of him to gimp around and be within viewing distance of the classes he’d been leading only days prior.
Being stuck with a walker for the first couple of weeks after his back surgery pushed him to work hard and get his feet back under him. Though he’d never get to dance again, at least he could walk – walking was one of the things Peter wanted to be able to do for the rest of his life. The necessity to put his all into walking and just getting around took the brunt of the blow off losing dance – it served as a good distraction, at least.
By the time the second part of his senior year came around, Peter was able to walk and get around. He was looking forward to finishing up his school year and finding out what the rest his life would be like without dance. Yet, he also longed to be close to the one thing he loved so dearly. And thankfully, Madame Romanoff offered him a good solution right before the big company recital at the end of the year.
When he walked into the studio, his heart thumped painfully against his chest. It felt like such a long time since he walked through the doors and caught his reflection in the mirror upon first glance up. A part of him wanted to walk over to the bar at the back of the room and start his stretching process, that piece of him craved the elegance of his long lines and powerful turns. Yet, the rational part of him understood that walking was more important and pushed him to move further into the studio towards Natasha’s office.
“Ah, Mr. Parker – glad you could join me. Please, have a seat,” Natasha said the second he walked in the door, the dark red lipstick coating her lips making her smile look big and bright. She kept her hair in the traditional ballerina bun and walked around in high heels – but she was kind and knew talent when she saw it. Grimacing at the little bit of a twinge he still felt, Peter took a seat in the chair in front of her desk, his fingers knitting together in front of him.
“I’ll cut right to the point. Life has dealt you a shitty card and it’s ridiculously unfair. You should be involved in dance, Peter. It’s a part of you. So, I thought – why not see if you can capture it, instead.” She turned in the big chair she was sitting in and grabbed something off the filing cabinet behind her. The fancy camera with the biggest lens he’d ever seen coming into view was not what he expected.
Her smile grew when she saw the look on his face. The whiteness of her teeth was slightly intimidating, even now, after knowing her for more than 10 years. Peter tossed a smile back her way and looked tentatively at the camera now sitting on her desk.
“What’s that, Madame Romanoff?” Peter asked, unable to keep the curiosity from getting the best of him. He was always on the other side of pictures and hadn’t picked up a camera ever in his life. The big screen and fancy dial on the back looked intimidating from where he sat, and he hadn’t even picked it up yet.
“Go ahead, Peter – it’s my solution. Figure out how to use it and then apply what you know about the art of dance to the art of photography. You know what’s beautiful. Long lines, sharp movement patterns – the beauty of a picture is how you capture it. The technical shit can be learned, the inherent knowledge you have about dance can’t.” She grinned wider when he didn’t hesitate to take the heavy camera from her.
“I want you to come to classes. You have a home in this studio, Peter. Don’t think because you’re not using your feet doesn’t mean you can’t be a part of what we do here.”
With that, she shot him another smile, then shooed him out of her office with a swift flick of her wrist.
----
Taking to the task like he tried to do with everything else, Peter dug his nose into the Canon Mark IV 5D user manual that he found online and figured out how to change the settings on the camera. It blew his mind, how many things the camera could do and how in depth the pictures could be. That was the first step.
After another couple of weeks of figuring the camera out and taking it with him on the daily walks he started embarking upon during his recovery – Peter finally felt comfortable enough to return to Romanoff’s in an attempt to do exactly what she said; capture dance.
It took a while – a lot of trial and error and frustration that Peter hadn’t ever experienced before. Things usually came easy for him. Yet, the more he did it, the better he started to feel about it. Thoughts of graduation and the future were out the window for a while – Peter dedicated himself to figuring out how to keep a foot in the world that seemed so unfairly gone from him.
He shot the end of the year recital and felt proud of the results that he ended up with. Of course, it wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as actually being on the stage, but – it brought him a sense of happiness, nonetheless. When he handed over the files to Natasha, she pulled him in for a hug. The clench of her arms kept him close, the words she whispered to him abundantly clear – “There you are.”
For some reason, those words hit him hard. His injury at the beginning of the year took a lot from him. With his rehab and the changes that came with the debilitating loss of the use of his body to create an art he devoted his life to, Peter bounced around, slightly lost. The realization that he could still connect with dance drove him forward – finally, Peter felt like he had a direction again.
Trying to get into TISCH’s photography program was a nerve-wracking experience and forced him to have to really evaluate why he wanted to make still frame his focus. The life of movement stayed alive in the photographs and he grasped onto that through the application and interview processes. His portfolio and approach must’ve been enough – Peter got acceptance and scholarship money to start the next semester.
Natasha, upon learning that he’d be in town and pursuing photography, brought him on as the in-house photographer. It didn’t pay much, but he got to have unlimited access to subjects and people that were always looking to show off the skills they worked so diligently to achieve. Peter appreciated the opportunity that Natasha provided and worked hard to provide her with his increasing talents.
Little by little, Peter honed in on his skill and absorbed as much knowledge as he could in his classes and on the job. College passed by in a blur of attending company ballet and TISCH dance productions to shoot as much as he could. He put his work in every showcase available to him and learned from the critique that people threw his way. In the dance world, critique was fodder and fed into the challenge that photography constantly imposed upon him.
Upon graduating, Peter took a job with Juilliard in the arts department as a media director and took care of the photography and visuals for all of the productions the entirety of the department put on. And because Juilliard had a direct link with New York City Ballet, Peter did the media for them as well.
When he took a step back and looked at it, his life was still wrapped around dance – and now, he didn’t have to sweat it out and perform on the stage to be directly within it. He lived in a great apartment in Manhattan and got to see his Aunt May every Sunday for whatever concoction she decided to come up with for them. All and all – his set up wasn’t terrible. Now that he had his professional life worked out, Peter felt desperate to see where the other parts of his life could take him.
As luck would have it – Peter got a nudge in right direction a couple of weeks later when he found himself in the Lincoln Center waiting for the dress rehearsal for the Nutcracker. It was one of his favorite ballets and he enjoyed being able to shoot the multitude of versions he’d get to see throughout the holiday season. And if rumor was to be believed, there was a new prince dancing with the prima ballerina.
The music started up a little while later and Peter got lost in the movements. He didn’t need to take any snaps tonight, but wanted to make sure he knew what the lighting looked like and where every group would be coming in from. Since he was working both video and film, he needed to be able to shoot from all angles. For a while, he let his camera dangle from his side and just let the dance run away with him.
By the time it got to the Prince and Sugarplum Fairy’s dance, Peter had his camera poised over his eye, the entirety of the pass one of the most important things he needed to get during the show. Their initial andante maestoso brought the two of them on the stage and in a swift dance across it – the prince in fact a totally different one than the year before. His tight calves and well sculpted thighs and hips were packed into white tights that highlighted every one of his movements.
Peter’s finger stuttered a few times through the tarantella, his focus on the dancer’s beauty and strength as he leapt and landed across the stage. When he pulled the camera down to make sure he got at least a couple of shots to play around with, Peter sucked in a sharp breath – the man was even more gorgeous than he expected, the details of his well-kept facial hair and dark brown eyes standing out the most.
Satisfied that he knew enough about the show, Peter packed up his equipment and headed out before the final act with all of the dancers came on – he knew from experience that it would be a free for all and didn’t need to plan for that. He wanted to play around with some of the images and got lost in the thoughts of the prince as he was walking out – not noticing that he was walking right into someone until well after they collided.
“Holy shit,” Peter gasped out, his long-lost dancing skill coming into play when he managed to turn and barely hit the person, instead of barreling through them and bringing them both to the ground. “I’m so sorry!” Peter put a hand on the wall and let his heart rate calm down before looking over at the person he almost took out.
His stomach dropped when he noticed the dancer he’d been eyeing up from his spot at the edge of the stage – his eyes were even darker up close and his mouth pulled into the most charming of smiles. Sucking in a breath, Peter just barely stopped himself from slapping his hands over his face. A dark red blush moved across his cheeks instead, the heat of it warming up his skin alarmingly.
“You’re pretty quick on your feet,” the man said instead of the 20 other things that could have easily come out of his mouth. Peter quirked a brow and let the slightest trace of a smile slip across his lips.
“I used to dance,” Peter replied quickly, the openness he was feeling in that moment as fleeting as some of the grumpier moods he sometimes found himself in. “Glad I still have it.” That made him smile wider, Peter a little surprised when the man across from him also smiled. It led to the slightest wrinkles in his cheeks and made Peter’s heart race.
Before the man could say anything else, a wide stagehand came walking down the hall, his eyes intent on them. “Tony, it’s the final number – you’re up.”
They shared another looked before the man, Tony, turned and started walking back in the direction he came from. Peter felt himself smiling and was surprised to see Tony holding the dressing room door open, his arm and head peeking out from behind it. “What’s your name?” He looked at Peter hopefully, his eyes wide.
Peter tightened his grip on the case he’d been pulling behind himself and let a couple of heartbeats pass before he answered – it was important that he thought before he spoke. “I’m Peter Parker,” he finally remarked, his eyebrows knitting slightly.
With a wave, Tony shot him a wink and started to disappear behind the door. “See you later, Peter Parker.”
----
The next 5 days were busy and filled with too much looking down the scope of the camera and 3 showings of The Nutcracker daily. Despite that, Peter found some time to look up the beautiful dancer – the name Tony was enough to get him a full career rundown and multiple links to pictures and videos of his past performances. Though a little older, Tony Stark seemed to be hitting the peak of his career now, instead of at a young age like most dancers. The write up he looked through said something about engineering, but he didn’t delve any further. It felt a little weird to have looked as deeply as he did to begin with.
Every night, Peter found himself watching Tony a little closer – he was all long limbs and taut muscle, his form technical but not exactly perfect. His lifts were where he excelled, though – the bundles of muscles waiting to spring into action were stretched to the limit, making the intensity of his strength standout even more.
Unable to find the courage to actually approach him, Peter spent too much time editing the images of him, ever click of his mouse meticulous and precise to create the perfect balance of camera work and Photoshop manipulation. After too many nights of it, Peter forced himself to acknowledge that talking to Tony seemed pretty necessary. Making sure to put some of his favorite on his phone, Peter felt resolved to at least show some of his work off in guise of starting up a conversation.
The final show came around with excited energy – Peter always enjoyed the last curtain call the best; there was always a certain sense of satisfaction that only that round of applause could bring. He switched up his shooting position and did some clicking from the flanks to catch a little backstage action – the decision proving to be a good one when he heard a throat clear during the first act.
“Fancy seeing you here, Peter Parker,” Tony said, his eyes shining in the bright light streaming in from the stage. He looked at Peter without blinking, a slight tilt to his head.
Peter forced himself to take a couple of breaths, his head suddenly spinning from the flush of epinephrine that his sympathetic nervous system decided shoot through his veins. The excitement of bumping into Tony probably more than obvious. “Right – fancy seeing the photographer taking photos,” Peter replied as he moved the camera to his eye and took a couple of quick shots of Tony who’d started to stretch in the open space around them.
Tony’s beaming smile made Peter’s breath catch, his eyes going to the back of the camera out of habit – the image he found there already one of his favorites of the bunch. Looking up, he gestured down at the camera in his hand. “Want to see?” Peter asked, his hands already turning it, making it more inviting for the man.
It took everything in him not to watch Tony walk towards him in the sheer shirt that, in the light, made his tanned skin stand out through the white fabric. At this closeness, the tights on his legs were translucent, Peter privy to the thick vein that ran from Tony’s calf all the way across the front of his highly muscled thigh. All those details in just the span of 5 steps – Peter wondered what he would find with an unlimited amount of time to explore him.
Shaking his head, Peter forced himself to focus when he felt the inevitable warmth of another human body getting close to him. He used his thumb to scroll back through the last 4 images he shot, a grin slipping across his face. “You have a nice smile,” Peter mumbled softly, the muscle in his forearm twitching with every click from one picture to the next. He got to the end of the roll before daring to turn his head.
“I think you’re just a good photographer,” Tony retorted, a chuckle rushing from his chest. They were close enough that Peter could feel his arm lift and clench with the sound. It made him stiffen, his skin breaking out into prickly gooseflesh. If he didn’t move, maybe he wouldn’t have to lose the rise and fall of Tony’s rhythmic breathing against him.
“Must be both then.” Peter shifted, his brain all of the sudden realizing that he was missing key pieces of the show in favor of flirting with the very attractive and incredibly distracting male dancer. “Come find me after the show – I’ll show you some from the week.” He gave Tony an encouraging smile, then turned back to look out through the curtain.
Peter heard him laugh again then the softest “okay” before the closeness of his presence could no longer be felt. Forcing himself to not turn and look, Peter did his best to pay attention to the rest of the first act – his racing mind all of the sudden not completely dedicated to the art before him on the stage.
As usual, the second act went a lot faster than the first – there was a bit more action and the dancing was not as convoluted with plot. From this perspective, Peter could see a lot more of the sideline action and felt glad he decided to trust his gut and move around a little more. When Tony stepped onto the stage, Peter gripped his camera harder – his eyes peeled for the smallest of details.
The cheeky bastard managed to look his way a couple of times throughout his solo, Peter more than certain that he got some snaps where Tony was staring directly down the pipe of the lens. It took more focus than ever for Peter to actually finish without dropping the camera and watching the ending number – since it was the last one, they changed it up and gave more solo time to each of the leads; then finished with a long bow with a few teary words from NYCB’s director. While she spoke, Peter got his equipment together and disappeared to start downloading some of the shots.
A little while later, Peter was pulled from the culling process by a tap on his shoulder – he squinted behind his glasses to make sure he was at a stopping point and turned, his fingers pulling the frames from his face when he noticed it was Tony.
“Don’t take those off on my account,” Tony said with a smirk, his hair freshly wet and brushed back from his face – the natural look of his skin even better than the brightness the spotlight and well-placed makeup gave him. His lips settled into a light smile and he leaned against the table Peter found to spread out on. He must’ve been nose deep in his work for longer than he thought.
“I just need them for the light,” Peter mumbled, jamming them into the pocket of his shirt. Glancing down, he shifted the computer so Tony could see. “Your tarantella was great tonight.”
Tony leaned in a little to look at the picture more closely, the move bringing the sharpness of his cologne into Peter’s space. As if he was trying to measure his own arms on the screen, Tony reached out to trace the line of his hand down to the middle of his chest. “You said you danced, right? You can tell – the fact that you framed up that specific move says a lot. That’s so crisp, Pete,” Tony admitted, the man pulling back, his hands shoving the long sleeves that were trying to settle on his wrists up his lean forearms.
Taken aback, Peter adjusted himself in his chair. It’d been a long time since he talked to anyone about that part of his journey through dance. Sometimes May would look at him wistfully and relive some of the memories with him, but even that made his heart ache. Licking his bottom lip, Peter nodded his head. “I did about ten years at Romanoff’s, she got me started with the photography thing after my injury.”
They locked eyes for a second, Tony’s eyebrows up, almost completely buried in the hair that was now creeping down, trying to cover his forehead. “Natasha Romanoff? She’s still on 5th, then?”
Grinning, Peter nodded again. “5th and then a newer studio on 64th. She’s flourishing,” Peter said, his hands coming up to make air quotes with his fingers. “Do you know her?”
“She was a couple years ahead of me at Juilliard. I didn’t get into the dancing world until a little later in life, so we were the same age, despite not being the same year. We partnered for pas de deux once,” Tony remarked, his eyes glowing with the memory. “You must’ve been good.”
Peter put his hand on the touch pad of his computer and went about saving the photo on the screen to distract himself – his heart started to beat a little harder at the thought of how much talented he cultivated in his youth. “I wasn’t terrible. I did not treat my body very well, however – back gave out before I could really see how good I could have been.” Clenching his lips shut, Peter wondered where all the words came from – he hadn’t been this chatty… ever.
Tony crossed his arms and leaned more heavily against the table, his forearms now on display, the lines of muscles firm and wrapped in tanned skin, the veins there pulsing from the work the man did that night. “Ah – that’s the worst. I’ve been fighting off a bum toe for a couple of years – the pointe gets harder and harder as the time goes by,” Tony muttered wistfully, his foot shifting subconsciously. “How long have you been taking photos?”
Without much thought, Peter started the process of packing his computer and hard drive into their cases, his eyes never leaving Tony. “About 7 years now. I went to TISCH for a 5-year program and have been working for Juilliard and NYCB ever since.” Finally done with the menial tasks that kept him preoccupied, Peter stood up. “What about you? You here to stay or just doing a stint with the company this season?”
Despite not saying anything, Tony followed Peter when he started walking – the natural way they just sort of accommodated each other weird for having only met once before. Tony waited until they were in the foyer of the Lincoln Center before speaking again. “I’m here to stay. NYCB gave me a company spot and choreographer position. After being on the road so much the past couple of years, coming home felt right.”
Though they were right by the door, neither man made any move to go exit through any of them, the two men obviously more than willing to mill around and talk. Peter pulled his camera case close to him, the metal of it cool against the thin material of his khaki pants.
“There’s something about the city, right?” Peter asked, his head turning to look at the still busy street right outside the door. “I’ve been here my whole life.”
Smiling wide, Tony nodded – the gesture answer enough. Peter watched him shift and smile a little bigger. “Any chance you’re free for headshot type stuff? I could use an update.”
The question caught him off guard for a second, his hopes of maybe getting to know the guy slowly starting to become more of a reality as the moments passed. That thrust him into gear – Peter fumbled into his pocket and scrolled through a couple of his photo files before he found his infographic.
“Everyone is on break for the holidays, so I’ve got lots of time. Turn your AirDrop on, I’ll share my info with you,” Peter replied without hesitation, his cheeks warm from the events of the night and the distracting way Tony was making him feel. “The Juilliard studio has great lighting.”
After grabbing his info, Tony reached across the space between them and gripped his shoulder, the touch firm and friendly. “I’ll get ahold of you. Thanks for making me look good.” Throwing him a final smile, Tony hitched his bag up his shoulder and walked quickly out the door and into the cold December night.
----
A couple of days passed before Peter heard from Tony – they decided on a time and agreed to meet at the Juilliard studio that Friday. For 4 days, Peter immersed himself in the editing process to make the time go a little faster. It didn’t, but that was always how it worked when he was looking forward to something.
In his need to fill up all the spaces of time, Peter did a bit of online shopping and ordered a couple of different backgrounds to play around with. When the day came, Peter used his key to head in a little early – his lighting set up would take a while to get put together and if his hands were busy, he didn’t have any time to fret about the nerves coursing through him or the hopes he hadn’t been able to put to bed since meeting Tony. Getting ahead of himself seemed like a recipe for failure – but he wasn’t one to not step out on the limb just because of a little fear.
Two solid hours of preparation went by much faster than he figured it would – Tony walked in through the door while he was still fiddling with the long backdrop, the sturdiness of it important if Tony was going to jump and move on and around it. He didn’t notice until he looked up to see how straight it was and caught Tony’s reflection in the mirror behind him.
“Hey, Tony,” Peter started, his face breaking out into a familiar smile. “I’m just about ready. I got the door to the bathroom unlocked, so you’re free to change as much as you’d like.” He tugged at the backdrop one more time before finally feeling satisfied – he knew what he was doing, the nerves needed to go the hell away.
Tony looked at him for a moment, his whiskey-brown eyes roving over his face without any shame. It felt good – being looked at like that. Whatever it meant; Peter wasn’t going to be mad about the attractive man in front of him not being able to tear his eyes away. The only thing that ever made his heart race like it was in that moment was dance – that had to mean something.
“I’m ready to go. I just need to put my bag down and change into my flats,” Tony finally said, his eyebrows quirking as a soft grin lifted his cheeks.
“You should probably stretch, too,” Peter remarked offhandedly, his eyes returning Tony’s stare, inch of skin by lovely inch. He was happy to see that there were a couple different cuts of shirt in his hand – they’d have a lot to work with. With that in mind, Peter went about making sure his camera was connected to his computer while Tony got ready.
As expected, once they got started, things went seamlessly. Tony was used to be instructed and took Peter’s suggestions in stride. They did a bunch of different poses in each outfit, Peter making sure that Tony switched to pointe at least once during the process. By the end, Peter was laughing at the faces Tony made at him when he switched positions.
Almost satisfied, Peter put the camera down and stepped onto the backdrop. He swung his arms from side to side to get his blood flowing, then swopped up into a one footed stance without much trouble (the twinge would come later.) “I want you to leap and land like this – I’d demonstrate, but this is as far as that goes,” Peter joked, his body saturated with endorphins from the rush doing any sort of movement with his body always brought.
Tony didn’t move to get in position, so Peter straightened up and started to think about how else he could describe it. A hand on his arm stopped him, Tony’s fingers squeezing lightly. “You still have such good technique,” Tony mumbled, his hand moving to pull at Peter’s until he was a little further onto the backdrop. “No turns, right?”
Nodding, Peter relaxed his body and let himself be led into a resting position, Tony’s hands now on his hips. “Let’s see how well you remember your backwards steps,” Tony whispered, his lips just a few inches away from Peter’s ear. His fingers tapped on the right side of Peter’s hip and they were off in that direction – his arms widening when they got to the edge of the pass.
It felt weird for a second, being in the hold position; but he quickly got over it, the relief of any stress on him quickly taken by Tony’s hands and their tight grasp on his hips, Peter’s feet barely touching the ground. They went through a couple of moves before Peter was stopping their movement with a subtle touch to Tony’s hand.
“That’s enough for me.” Peter was grateful for the brief experience and threw an even more sincere look over his shoulder at Tony. “Thank you, though – I haven’t moved like that in years.” He lifted his hands over his head and stretched himself as long as he could go before walking back over to his camera set up, his fingers wrapping around the base with ease.
When they were all done and Tony was walking out of the bathroom in street clothes, Peter looked up and motioned to him. He let his eyes linger on the way Tony’s jeans sat on his hip, the cut of his shirt enhancing the slimness there. Tony moved with ease, the man more than familiar with his body and the things he could do with it. Shaking his head, Peter moved away from that thought – it could very easily get him in trouble.
With Tony by his side, Peter smiled at him, then started to go through the frames he took throughout the two hours they’d been working. Tony spent a lot of time critiquing himself and grinned when Peter went out of his way to say the exact opposite of whatever came out of his mouth. The stills were beautiful and after a little work, would be more than enough to circulate around in resumes and show leaflets.
“Those are great, Pete – I like how well you capture the action; I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it,” Tony commented, his eyes still wide from the cruise through the photo gallery. At some point, he let his hand drift to Peter’s shoulder and kept it there, his fingers now gripping on and off. “I’d love to see more – want to grab a coffee, or something?”
As it happened, coffee ended up being a quick walk to Peter’s apartment where he got as far as pulling his computer out before Tony was flung across his hips, muscular thighs clenching with every move he made. Peter was surprised for about two seconds before he grabbed a handful of Tony’s ass, and dragged him closer, their mouths meeting in a heated kiss without either of them hesitating.
Peter didn’t usually do stuff like this – kiss people he didn’t know much about, but at the same time, he didn’t like to miss out on good things, either. He watched Tony reached down and take his own shirt off, the muscles of his stomach and arms rippling as the cells fired and clenched. When he relaxed, Peter was pleased to see that Tony was very cut up and would ripple gloriously as he thrust into him in the near future.
The fact that Tony managed to get his shirt off of him and the button of his pants undone without him noticing blew Peter’s mind, the man had a way with his mouth and let his tongue do terribly dirty things. In 25 years, Peter had never been kissed like that before – Tony’s carnality was exactly like his dancing, thorough and highly skilled.
It seemed like Tony came prepared because Peter was suddenly naked and on his back with Tony between his thighs, a packet of lube and a condom dangling from his fingers. They made eye contact for a moment, the desire in Tony softening as an affectionate look rolled over his face. “This okay? You’ll tell me if you’re not comfortable?” Tony’s questions rolled off his tongue without him stopping the scandalous press of his hips.
“It’s a lot more than okay. As long as you don’t roll me up into too much of a ball, I’ll be just fine. Just don’t stop whatever it is you’re going to do,” Peter babbled, his lips totally loose now that most of his thoughts were clouded with lust and completely focused on the delicious press and pull of Tony’s fingers on his skin and cock against his own.
He was pleasantly surprised when Tony shifted and pushed at his hip until Peter took the hint and rolled over. Leaning on his forearms, Peter spread his legs as much as he could on the couch and thrust back a little, his ass entirely on display. Groaning when Tony used his hands to spread his cheeks, Peter looked over his shoulder to see dark eyes staring at him longingly.
Tony emptied the packet of lube on the flat of Peter’s back and swiped his fingers through it. His free hand ran along Peter’s flank and lulled him into a sense of comfort – the breach of Tony’s fingers around and then against his rim secondary to the sensation of first a knuckle and then an entire finger slipping into him. While he moved his hand, Tony peppered all the skin he could reach with kisses and licks – he was obviously in the business of taking Peter apart one piece at a time.
Progressively, Peter got lost in the rush of his lust for Tony and the scorching touch that made his skin prickle and the well of heat in his stomach start to trickle over the edge. Tony’s weight held his hips down just enough that with every thrust back against talented fingers that were now aggressively stretching him open, Peter got the slightest amount of friction against his cock. It was both too much and not enough in one agonizingly delicious movement.
Draped completely over him, Tony pressed his lips to Peter’s ear when he pushed in. The stroke to slide inside was firm and didn’t stop until Tony’s hips were pressed against the muscle of his round ass cheeks. Peter shifted until he could accommodate his weight on one hand – he reached back and gripped Tony’s hair hard with the other, the moan slipping from his lips forcing a flush down the length of his chest. “Oh, Tony – “
From that point on, Peter lost track of time and space – he was so completely wrapped up in the tactile sensations and the sensitivity of nerve fibers that were constantly being stroked and prodded. With Tony’s arm wrapped around his middle, Peter gave himself over to the sensations, the long, slow glide of a firm cock in and out of him driving him absolutely mad. Little by little, he melted into the rhythmic bump of Tony’s cock against that spot deep inside of him and got closer to a finish that felt like a long time coming.
A shout left his hips when Tony used the grip around his chest to pull him up until his back was firmly pressed against the skin of well-muscled pecs and abs that were clenching with every thrust Tony delivered. Peter felt him slow down and move the grip of his hand from his chest to his hips, long fingers digging in. “The way you move against me, Pete – it’s driving me insane. It’s like you know me. Like you’ve studied my body and know exactly what it needs.”
His cock throbbed at the trueness of Tony’s words. Though he didn’t have a chance to physically explore it, Peter knew a lot about the way Tony moved from the images he’d been editing non-stop – it seemed like he learned a lot more about Tony than he originally imagined. Bringing his hands until they were resting over Tony’s on his hips, Peter laced their fingers together and let out a long moan; the carnal noises the only thing he could conjure up in that moment.
Another few thrusts of Tony’s cock dead against Peter’s prostate had him coming without a single touch to his throbbing erection. It was a novel thing for him, so he watched with wide eyes as he shivered and clenched and finished with the most release he’d ever seen come out of himself hitting the bedspread underneath him. Tony rolled his hips and thrusted through it until he was moaning against Peter’s neck and collapsing them both on the bed – the man courteous enough to turn them on their sides and away from his own puddle of cum.
Peter couldn’t stop the helpless moan that slipped from his mouth when Tony pulled out and rolled away to get rid of the condom. He turned and watched him move around until Tony finally joined him on the bed again. It shouldn’t have surprised him, the fact that Tony wrapped a hand around his arm and pull him back until they were resting as close together as possible. A nose ran through the sweaty hair at the back of Peter’s head – Tony pulling in a long breath before settling in.
“You can still dance. That was the most flawless piece I’ve ever been a part of,” Tony said softly, his hand flattening against Peter’s stomach to pull him even further back, despite the fact that there wasn’t any space left between them. “Rest up for a bit – I’ll take you out for another spin in a little while.”
Laughing, Peter let his hand rest against Tony’s, their fingers lacing with ease. He snuggled in, Tony’s warmth lulling him into a sleep haze.
----
The fact that Tony didn’t leave the next morning spoke volumes – Peter didn’t do a lot of dating, but he understood wanting to spend time with someone. They made pancakes that were barely edible and talked about Tony’s travels through Paris the previous two years. He’d been traveling with an international company that did a long stint in France. When it came time for Tony to leave and get some practice in for the day, Peter went with him.
It took on a different sort of intimacy, shooting Tony after that. Because he knew so much about the freckles on Tony’s skin and the way the dancer moved in the throes of passion, Peter could appreciate the thrust of his hips and the powerful strides for a completely different reason. It brought a whole new meaning to a long, slow seduction. They didn’t make it out of the locker room before Peter was on his knees, worshipping the cock and hips attached that moved with such poise and grace.
Spending the rest of the day together felt like the right thing to do after that – Tony came down his throat and watched with wide eyes as Peter stayed on his knees and stroked himself with a tight fist in long, quick strokes. The soft pet of his hair lulled him into a daze for a while, his cheek laying against the bottom of Tony’s stomach until he felt the tingle leave his toes and lower limbs.
Tony pulled him into a deep kiss when he stood up, strong arms wrapped around him and his swift tongue chased the taste of his own spend in Peter’s mouth. Peter didn’t know who was moaning but it was almost enough to bring him back to full hardness, though, he knew he couldn’t handle any more time on the hard floor or any of the surfaces available to them there. Suggesting a late lunch made Tony smile and when he grabbed Peter’s hand on the way out of the building, Peter let the hope of things actually going somewhere wash over him.
So, maybe Peter couldn’t dance on his own 2 feet anymore – with Tony by his side, he quickly learned that dancing was just as much a feeling as it was a collection of movements and lifts. Lying in bed with Tony between his legs later that night, Peter figured out that the roll of his hips and the caress of his hands felt just as good as the carefully crafted choreography that he’d be so accustomed to. The same way his body used to take the crowd apart, Peter slowly tugged at Tony’s seams until the dancer was thrusting into him with abandon. His name on Tony’s lips at the end of their coupling the ultimate standing ovation.
And as the days past and Peter got to spend more time not only wrapped up in the fun of watching someone else succeed, but also in the beauty and grace that was Tony Stark. The spring brought Bourne’s version of Swan Lake, which consisted of an all-male cast. Peter, having decided that NYCB was where the most opportunities were available, applied and got the job as the full-time photographer. Which meant he got to spend all of his day shooting ballet and only ballet. An absolute dream come true.
Watching Tony dance the part of the prince was absolutely magical – between trying to catch all of the best shots and catching every single one of his pristine moves, Peter spent all 7 days of multiple shows trying to capture him in the best possible way. They hadn’t been dating all that long, but Peter was moved to make sure Tony understood how he truly saw him.
It took a few weeks to find the perfect picture and get it blown up and printed to perfection. After getting it in the mail, Peter measured and built a custom frame for the photo – the dark brown wood a beautiful contrast to the white costume Tony was wearing in the print. Finally finishing it a couple of weeks into May, Peter stepped back and looked at the physical manifestation of his heart with a critical eye. It was Tony – Peter had a hard time finding any sort of flaw.
His ears prickled when he heard Tony putting his key in the lock – a couple of months prior, Peter pulled out one of his old TISCH key chains and made a copy of his apartment key. He left it in Tony’s pointe shoes and got a screaming call when he didn’t notice – the tip of the key stabbed him; but, the sincerity of the gesture made the large cut he had to nurse for a couple of weeks totally worth it.
He waited until he heard the keys clatter against the bowl that Peter kept right by the door to pick up the frame and carry it out into the living room where Tony was standing, his feet and arms bare, his dance tights still framing his legs in the sinful way they always did. Peter stopped dead in his tracks when Tony noticed him, the man’s dark brown eyes caught between looking at Peter’s face and the big frame he had in his hands.
“What’s that?” Tony asked, his cheeks coloring at the bluntness of the question. The man might’ve been a few years older than Peter, but he never failed to project youth and reckless wonder. The words made Peter laugh, his face spreading wide with the smile overtaking him. Instead of answering right away, Peter closed the gap and jammed the frame into Tony’s arms.
Peter gave him a few minutes to get his bearings and process what was in front of him. In the many days’ worth of searching, Peter finally decided on a picture of Tony in the middle of a leap. His eyes and chin were up, his hips completely square – but the thing that really caught Peter’s eye was the look of pure happiness of Tony’s face. There were many dancers that could get their legs completely straight through a leaping straddle, but there weren’t many that looked to be in absolute rapture when they did it. Every time he passed by it, the look made his heart pound, so he figured that was sign enough.
Tony looked up at him, his eyes wide. “This is what I look like, huh?” Tony asked, his fingers doing the customary reaching out to touch thing they always did. Peter watched him trace the length of his body across the glass – the idea of fingerprints not even registering. The appreciation of his work never meant so much.
“Beautiful, right? I thought, for a really long time, that I’d never really have the same connection with dance that I did when I actually got to do it myself. Then, I met you and got to see talent and passion in a totally different light. I don’t need to be moving to feel what it’s like to be on the stage when I watch you. Maybe it’s because I love you so much and I’m biased, but I’m a fan – your biggest one, probably.” Peter let all of the words flow from him before stopping for a breath. He felt his lips slip into a beaming smile – it felt so damn good to let that off his chest.
Even the very first ‘I love you’ between them felt good coming from him – he didn’t need Tony to say it out loud to know that he loved him. It was apparent in the way he touched, his fingers were constantly seeking – whether it was knowledge or pleasure, Tony was always interested in finding out. It was glaringly obvious in the way bourbon hued eyes followed him around the room when they weren’t standing together and looked so deeply within his own when they were. His gentle words and the innate ability to know just what Peter needed said things that a singular phrase never could.
Yet, when it came from Tony’s lips, Peter couldn’t have imagined a better moment. “You’re a big softy, Petey,” Tony mumbled, his lips pressing together for a second before continuing. “I love you, too. By the way. I know you know, but I also know how good the words sound. I love you. I’ll say it however many times you want to hear it.” As elegant as always, Tony moved to lean the frame against the edge of the couch to free his hands up, then tugged Peter into them, their lips finding each other in a soft kiss.
“I don’t think there’s a limit, Tony,” Peter muttered, his voice scratchy from the rush of arousal and happiness and a billion other things.
Tony gripped his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss, his next words said against his lips like a prayer – “sounds okay to me.”
----
Later that year, Peter and Tony stumbled through their apartment after opening night of The Nutcracker. As a veteran this year, Tony wowed the audience in a way that only someone seasoned and comfortable could. The performance was flawless, Peter a little disappointed that he couldn’t show his enjoyment as much as he would have wanted to. The second they got behind the door of his car, however, his hands were all over Tony. They almost didn’t make it into the house before Peter was straddling him and really letting his appreciation show.
They fumbled through the door and passed through the living room that was littered in Peter’s work – when they first hung the few framed photos of Tony, he complained about it being a little weird. Yet, the more Peter added to it, the more Tony seemed to be behind the idea. It just took a little prodding for him to play into the narcissism that all dancers were inherently in possession of. He really started to relax when Peter added a few of the two of them, the idea of looking up to see physical representation of their connection a nice one, one that they both wanted to get behind.
Peter let his eyes glance over them briefly before crowding against Tony’s back and herding him towards the bedroom. All of the walls on the walk there were covered in Peter’s work – his own narcissism showing in the diligent way he went about making sure all of the frames throughout the house matched and looked absolutely perfect.
When they moved in together, Tony wanted to go all in, so they got all new stuff and created something that was joint and completely Tony Stark and Peter Parker mixing all the aspects of their lives. From the bedding to the bowls they ate out of, everything was picked out together.
When he was finally able to settle between Tony’s legs with just his boxer briefs on, Peter sucked in a deep breath and gave himself a second to enjoy the man stretched out beneath him. The strain from the night’s performance had Tony’s muscles taut and his veins bulging from lack of water and electrolytes – he’d be ravenous for the next few days.
His eyes were wide and completely glazed over, the pupils taking over the bourbon Peter so eagerly drank in every time he looked in Tony’s eyes. The hands that were normally so sure of themselves were reaching to touch Peter searchingly, their next step still undetermined.
Allowing himself to share a heated look with Tony, Peter shook his head and forced himself to focus – there was plenty of time to get distracted in the beautiful view of his boyfriend later. He sat up a little and reached into his bedside table, the lube and condom hitting the comforter below them, the movement enough of a decoy for Peter to get the square box he’d been hiding there open and on the muscled expanse of Tony’s chest.
They weren’t traditional, so he bypassed the one knee thing – instead, he pressed his body weight into Tony, one of his hands holding the box so he could see it while the other ran through shower wet brown hair. It wasn’t the most romantic thing, but it felt right. Everything about Tony felt right. A forever of that was the only thing he’d ever want.
“If you’ll have me, I’d like to be your number one fan forever. Please, marry me,” Peter whispered, his nose caressing Tony’s as his lips pressed the words into any piece of stubbly skin he could reach. “Please,” he prompted again, the plea unneeded, but falling from his lips, anyway.
“How could I possibly say no to that?” Tony asked, his response coming with a quick lift of his head and warm lips pressed against Peter’s. His hands moved into the long hair at the base of Peter’s neck, fingers tugging lightly.
“Put that ring on me so I can find out how it looks against your skin while I’m holding you down.” Shooting him a wink, Tony dragged him in for a deep kiss, the box on his chest momentarily forgotten.
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meruz · 4 years ago
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some asks - sorry some of these are kind of old. I only get around to answering stuff once in a blue moon.
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I do not! Nothing against it but I just don’t personally enjoy the process so I don’t use it in my personal work. Too much transforming and filtering.. too little actual drawing. I have however used it for professional work and sometimes I will sketch things individually and collage them together to make it easier for me to work depending on the scale. But yeah, no photobashing normally.
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Thank you! (post in reference) I didn’t use any perspective grids for that drawing but occasionally for bigger pieces that require a stronger adherence to perspective I’ll use the Perspective Tools extension by Sergey Kritsky which is ABSOULTELY worth the price here on gumroad if you’re a photoshop-user - makes grids very easy to set up. You can actually see some of the grids in my process work if you’re looking for it lol
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I used to be such a square abt it like “bluh perspective is just a bunch of lines i dont need a tool to do it for me like a DUMB BABY. I can just draw the grids myself and itll be good enough!!! :\” dont be like that LOL, I started using perspective tools for work last year and ported it over to my personal work so damn fast its like one of the best artistic decisions ive made. If you can make less work for yourself, PLEASE make less work for yourself.
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I don’t remember what post this is but I’m like 90% its these brushes because these are like all the brushes I use LOL
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hi yes thank you i LOVE grookey.
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Thank you! They’re the best family!! KAROL IS MY FAVE........
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you’re SO welcome. I recently watched Last Evolution Kizuna and [spoiler] WILLIS WAS IN ONE (1) SHOT...  [/spoiler] so whoever was in my comments section telling me toei would never bring willis back, I think you owe me like $20
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Yep! My Instagram, Twitter... I don’t have a patreon because I’m too lazy to set up tiers but I have a ko-fi if you want to drop a lil tip in my metaphorical buskers hat
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You’re probably done by the game by now given how old this ask is but I’m flattered my art got you to play!! And I’m glad you love Akechi though I’m curious to know if your feelings on him have changed since sending this LOL. His latter act character stuff is one of those things that can really turn an opinion one way or another.
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Thank you! Though I want to preface this by saying I don’t take requests but you can always contact me for commissions at [email protected].
I will probably draw naruto again because like every 4 years of my life I go through a naruto phase. I have drawn dangan ronpa before many many years ago and I gotta say the only time I will ever draw it again will be if I’m commissioned to lol...Nothing against it personally, it’s just not really my thing. Kiritetsu+Colossus.... I would but honestly I don’t even know what I’d draw, I feel like I covered it with that one drawing. But if you’ve got an idea... you can always commission me!!! And I’d be happy to.
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Uhhhh they’re good! I like them! Yusuke’s character arc is maybe like my favorite or second favorite in the game and I love Ryuji first and foremost for max mittlemans voice acting and secondly because he is just so...so much better than P4 Yosuke who I truly could not stand.
I’m not big on Mishima but I think he’s an incredibly well written depiction of like. that dude in class who you didn’t really mean to talk to but ended up talking to and now its a little weird. I really like that event where you run into shinya while hanging out with mishima and shinyas like “whos this your friend” and ren is like “no, king, hes no one” LOL this is mostly because I just really like shinya. 
ships.... I like yusuke/ryuji a lot, just aesthetically and personality wise its an interesting dynamic. I like ryuji/ann bc theyre good friends. I like ann/yusuke if I close my eyes to all the early plot stuff and just pretend theyre like.....fujiko and goemon from lupin III LMAO. ryuji/makoto? kinda woke?? I mean I feel lesbian makoto deep in my bones but also their showtime opened my eyes a lil. I think they could bond over action movies. mishima/protag is kind of fun in like a sad pathetic way.. I’m a little interested in mishima/JOKER actually bc i like identity porn plotlines lol.
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YEP GO AHEAD I’ve been getting a lot of messages like this lately so I want to lay it out here and I’ll probably copy paste it into a FAQ later lol.
8Tracks and Spotify Playlists: Go ahead! please credit me either meruz.tumblr.com twitter@automeru or ig@automeruz -  AND SEND ME THE PLAYLIST this is not a requirement really but I would love to listen to it.
Twitter/Tumblr Layouts/Headers: Good by me! but again PLEASE credit me somewhere VISIBLE on the layout. If it’s a twitter header/icon credit my twitter @automeru and if its tumblr credit my tumblr @meruz​
Phone BGs, Desktop Wallpapers: definitely ok!! Any personal and non-commercial use of this nature, I’m cool with. If you ask me, I may even send you a hi-res version of the file but you have to promise to not scam me and sell it lol...
Instagram Reposts: A lot of artists would say no but I’m gonna say go ahead as long as you credit and tag me in the post, again my ig is @automeruz - if you don’t, and I find it, I will bug you about it in the comments and possibly even report you. Nothing personal, its just standard procedure.
Twitter/Tumblr Re-posts: Don’t?? Just RT or RB it from me?? whats wrong with you? I will report this.
Other site re-posts: I’ll probably say yes but again please credit and for this one PLEASE ask me first. It’s nothing personal really, I just want to know where my work shows up.
Video edits/fancams/comic dubs: Yes! Absolutely go ahead! And please send me a link I especially love to see this stuff!!
I also reserve all rights have you take it down if I do not agree with the usage or context, especially association with politics on the webpage/app/etc. 
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Thank you!!!!!!!! ;-; These are all so nice.. tucks them into a little pocket near my heart. I love drawing and I will keep trying my best to make art...! Hope you guys can look forward to it...!
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x-lulu · 4 years ago
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gurl 1-99 I dare you😄
haha no if that's too much just 1, 2, 24, 32, 77, 85, 95
well I finally answered them all babe, took me a week haha 💗
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? world away by tonight alive, you give love a bad name by bon jovi, amnesia by five seconds of summer, had enough by lower than atlantis, take it out on me by thousand foot krutch, if I could fly by one direction, I just named the first that popped in my head
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? YOU
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17? a wind came in off the harbour, bringing the smell of the sea
4: What do you think about most? I’m an overthinker with anxiety so yeah I think about everything a lot, so I wouldn’t know what I think about most
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? just an okay haha
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with, an oversized shirt and underwear
7: What’s your strangest talent? latin maybe?
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) I don’t know rock? I’m not really the kind of person that puts a gender in things
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? uhm I don’t think so, now I feel unimportant haha
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I’m more an using a hairbrush as a microphone kind of girl
11: Do you have any strange phobias? probably, I’m scared of a lot of things
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? don’t think so
13: What’s your religion? officially I’m Christian, I’m a bit searching for what I believe in tho, I do believe in jezus but not like walking on water and coming back from the death, I might believe in the Greek gods and nature gods
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? enjoying the fresh air, going for a walk/ride and look at cute animals
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? even if you kill me I don’t know what band to say
17: What was the last lie you told? I lied about not being sad
18: Do you believe in karma? I don’t know, sometimes, but like there are people who’ve done terrible things, where is their karma?
19: What does your URL mean? it’s just my nickname, I didn’t want to make it fandom related because I’m a multi fandom and I didn’t want to have to change my url a lot, I also didn’t want to put my real name because I don’t want people to find me who I know in real life haha
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? my insecurity is my greatest weakness I think, I don’t know my greatest strength... maybe being a person who people feel loved and welcome by? Idk if people feel that way and idk if it’s a strength. If I’m gonna be poetic I have to say my greatest weakness and strength are both that I love someone with my whole heart, when I start loving you, I love you so much, I would do anything for you, but when someone fucks up, I’ll still love them even tho they don’t deserve it, so that comes with a lot of pain so yeah a weakness and a strength
21: Who is your celebrity crush? rudy pankow and dylan obrien
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? yes
23: How do you vent your anger? I keep everything to myself till I explode and start screaming
24: Do you have a collection of anything? music records, stones and just memories from places I’ve been to
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither? If I’m comfortable I do enjoy video chatting especially in times like these where you can’t speak in real life
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? this is hard one, I’ve never been happy with who I am, I do like me better than who I used to be
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? sound I love is when you’re walking trough the woods just the birds, can’t think of one I hate, I definitely have some they just don’t come to mind rn
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if I keep going through and it doesn’t get better
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes/maybe
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my laptop and my pillow
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? flowers
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? xanten
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? uhm west coast? Idk haha
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? harry styles is the first one that pops in my head
35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to find love, can be someone something, experience things that make you happy, enjoy it, learn, better the world
36: Define Art. creating something, it can have a meaning but it also can’t, a lot of people give it a deep meaning, which can be it, I just think art doesn’t always have to be deep are spectacular it can be someone making something because they have so much going in their head and they find peace in creating art and get inspired by their own experience, people also can it just do for fun, there are so many different kind of art and artists, I don’t think it can’t be defined
37: Do you believe in luck? I don’t know
38: What’s the weather like right now? rainy
39: What time is it? 9:54 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no licence
41: What was the last book you read? a fanfic on Wattpad fight or flight by ffsumth
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? yes 🙈
43: Do you have any nicknames? lu and lulu obviously, loesje , samantha, pinguïn, polar bear, you called me lulu bear hehe
44: What was the last film you saw? I don’t remember...
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? uhm ive broken a few things, my toes and my arm, but nothing really bad actually
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no, I don’t want to, I have seen some really close, they’re beautiful
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? again you haha, but like all the stuff I post on here are my obsessions
48: What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t know, I think straight, but I don’t know for sure
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeah
50: Do you believe in magic? I’m not certain, maybe I do :) I do live by the saying ‘just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist’
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? sadly yes, like I won’t be mean to you or anything, but I will never ever trust you again, if I’m hurt I’m hurt and sadly I haven’t found a way yet to leave it behind, so I’m feeling a lot of pain and I’m never gonna forget that pain, so yeah...
52: What is your astrological sign? capricorn
53: Do you save money or spend it? uhm both? depends on how I feel and what time of the year it is, I have the bad habit to save it for a few months and then spend a lot of it
54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a apple pen so I can start trying digital art
55: Love or lust? love
56: In a relationship? with you hehe
57: How many relationships have you had? none official relationships, I’m just not lovable okay leave me alone haha
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no oops
59: Where were you yesterday? home, school, therapy
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a pillow
61: Are you wearing socks right now? no
62: What’s your favourite animal? polar bears
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? no idea haha, I don’t have one
64: Where is your best friend? at home, like 20min away
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. this is hard so I’m just gonna name the first five that come in my head @nxsmss @rafej-cambanks @thegreatestofheck @chrlsgillespie @nedleed
66: What is your heritage? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? sleeping, I had to get up early today
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? never thought about it
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Is it bad to say yes? I mean I hate myself but I do think I’m a good friend
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog obviously!!!!
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I think I would tell people, I’m not sure, but like so have people got the time to say goodbye the way they want to, I would travel the world I think, do everything on my bucket list, maybe some illegal stuff 🙈 (where no one gets hurt tho obviously), I don’t think I would be afraid... I mean I’m suicidal, I’ve literally been connected to death my whole life, if you understand what I mean
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. uhm trust I think? If I would have love but don’t have trust I wouldn’t really feel loved anyway, I do really want to experience how it feels like to be loved tho...
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? the first song that came to mind is love my life by Robbie Williams, I rarely listen to it, but the lyrics really gives a boost of happiness and confidence
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 51 54
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? loyalty and trust, you don’t have to agree on everything or be interested in the same things, you do have to be there for each other
77: How can I win your heart? YOU ALREADY HAVE
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes I think so
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? to get dogs
80: What size shoes do you wear? uhm 38 eu, 4,5 uk and 7 us
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? a loving ... I hope to be a loving daughter, friend, wife and mother, someone who was always there for others
82: What is your favourite word? fuck haha, no idk but that is definitely a word I use a lot
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. pain....
84: What is a saying you say a lot? enjoy the little things
85: What’s the last song you listened to? ignorance by paramore
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? uhm I do love black, I also like pastels and like a turquoise kind of colour
87: What is your current desktop picture? me and my friend
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? no one, there are a lot of people who did wrong, the need to be in jail, but I’m not saying someone deserves to die
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in my head, how I’m feeling
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? scream probably haha
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation, I would travel the world haha
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? when I was in Ireland by the cliffs of moher
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? uhm this is a hard one, maybe seeing my father almost dying? (he is okay btw, we were lucky), I’ve had nightmares and anxiety ever since
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I find this so weird to say for some reason... if I have to give a name it would be harry styles I think, because damn look at that man, but I don’t know, I would rather be friends with him than sleep with him tbh, I know you can do both haha, but idk I’m not like yes I want to sleep with him haha, I think I’ve read too many fanfics about him that I would find it awkward
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? ice land or canada
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? don’t think so, not close ones anyway
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? no, I got out in time haha
98: Ever been on a plane? yes, when I went on a trip to georgia in west asia
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? you’re all ignorant assholes haha, no idk what I would say, there are a lot of good people on this world I know, but man there is some fucked up shit, so maybe I would educate some people or it would have something to do with mental health, maybe about loving yourself or that it’s not a sign of weakness and that we should be treated as equals to physical pain, we should be taken seriously... I don’t really know, there are so many things haha
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palettepainter · 5 years ago
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(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019
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Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.
Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say!  I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration​   - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that!  @cosmic-artzz​   - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!
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janthonyashtoreth · 5 years ago
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Another big batch of asks!
Answering a bunch of asks under the cut! Most of them are ink and flowers centric. I hope you all are doing well <3
anonymous asked: wait wait hold up Anathema works in Azra's tattoo parlour?? amazing, when i was thinking of making my own florist/tattoo artist au, i also had Anathema be Aziraphale's apprentice :D i like when these two are friends. do you have any more headcanons about Anathema in ink and flowers?
she does!! she was doing an apprenticeship under him but has since graduated to doing her own thing (but she still works at his parlor). i can’t get into the whole plot because spoilers but angels/demons and agnes nutter’s prophecies still exist in the iaf universe, but anathema isn’t her descendant. instead, anathema is a wickedly smart computer genius and her boyfriend newt is an endearing but kind of inept descendent of agnes. anathema was azra’s good friend-turned-wingwoman once anthony shows up. i love her
anonymous asked: concept: aziraphale seeing crowley presenting femininely for the first time how'd you think he'd react? in your flower shop tattoo artist au
anonymous asked: OKAY totally not asking bc i may or may not have been thinkin abt this for like. too long. but would anthony have to like, come out as genderfluid to azra/how would azra react to seeing anthony present more fem for the first time
ooo ive been thinking about this as well! i dont think anthony would necessarily have a “coming out moment”, they just kind of do what they want. if they feel like presenting fem or using different pronouns they would just. do it. and azra would just kind of roll with it. i like to think that the first time anthony presented fem she got all dressed up for date night and didn’t tell azra and azra just Stares bc,,,, wow anthony is just gorgeous like that!! azra’s dead!!!
anonymous asked: You're a cutie pie. That's it. That's the fact.
:’ ) you’re a sweety pie!!!
anonymous asked: i deadass tried for 20 minutes to make the finger heart...... how did your friend do it......
i have absolutely no idea and it hurts my brain,,,
anonymous asked: Wahoo
wahoo.....
@alligatorsnbats asked: OK, so what's Oscar's thoughts on Anthony?
oscar LOVES anthony... he’s the worlds most apathetic cat but he actively seeks anthony out when hes around. azra is only slightly salty about it
anonymous asked: Is Anthony cross eyed?
he’s not! i made him a little bit cross-eyed in my latest post on purpose bc he was flustered but i dont know if it came across very well ;;
anonymous asked: not to be *THAT* bitch who comes into your ask box and gushes over your art but i love the way you colour things and your clean line work?? mwah. i wish i could draw like you its just so lovely
bfdkjfdh im cry,,,, just keep practicing my friend!!! i promise it’ll get you where you want to go. the last couple of months have been really nice for me in my ~art journey~ because its the first time i’ve ever really liked stuff that i’ve drawn. ive been drawing for about 7-8 years and this is only just happening and it varies so much from person to person!! some people get to where they want to go in 2 years, some people take 20. just don’t stop practicing!!
anonymous asked: your human!crowley deserves infinite appreciation and the fact that he has coloboma: that right there! is! good shit! he has snake eyes,,,, but as a human. u are a genius good sir and your art is a blessing 👌👌👌
haha thank you!! i think coloboma (i know how to spell it now!!) is such an interesting condition and it’s kind of underused for human aus!!! its so dope!!!
@bolitakawaii-senpai asked: what would crowley's and azi's fav emojies from the cursed emojis??
asking the real questions out here..... i think crowley’s would be the one with all of the teeth and aziraphale’s (assuming he knows what they are in the first place) would be the really cute one with big eyes and the pink hairbow
anonymous asked: concept for the ink and flowers au: something happens to crowley (imma b honest i have no idea) and has a lowkey crisis and chops all his hair off and just. joins his pet snake and snakes around the nursery untill azra comes in seeing crowley crying and cuddling his snake and yeah idk enjoy my the weird shit my brain comes up with
jhuyhaijodfaydgsihfujoi RIP TO THE HAIR...... i love the angst potential (and i can come up with a few reasons for the angst, but i digress) but i dont think i could part with anthony’s hair,,, i love it too much
anonymous asked: I can't handle your ink and flowers Aziraphale. I can't. His hair is TOO fluffy. His face is TOO squishy. He is EXTREMELY friend shaped. His glasses and his eyes are bright like SPARKLES. Every time I see him I want to go feral and show all my friends. I would hug him without letting go of given the chance. 1000000000/10. 💜🐝
anonymous asked: I have a cat just like Oscar (big himbo) and I got him some knit hats for Christmas and he's gonna hate me but I can't wait to dress him up like a little bee so: does Azra ever give Oscar like costumes or footies just for fun? If yes, does Oscar love or hate? 💜🐝
isldakfj im grouping these two together bc im assuming ur the same person anon!! i love your signature!!
you’re correct. his hair IS too fluffy, and he IS entirely too friend shaped. he has the BRIGHTEST eyes. i cant contain my rabid love for him and it spills out into the art. i can’t help it. he gives the best hugs
SLADKFJ YES HE DOES..... IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE,,,, as i mentioned earlier oscar is the world’s most apathetic cat so i dont think he would care that much but he’s not super happy about it
anonymous asked: Y'know what? I'm too tired so say smth clever so just know that I love you and your art is amazing 💕💕 PS: i love that you also tag them as Ineffable partners (i guess the point is to be gender neutral)
i love you as well anon,,, and yeah i like the ineffable partners tag! i find that it fits more with their relationship for some reason. though i still tag as ineffable husbands since its such a popular tag lksdfjdfknjbh
anonymous asked: Hello! Fist of all thank you for yor art, you are one of my favorite artists in this fandom and I have Feelings about the Ink and Flowers AU. Second: Don't feel pressured to post daily, we understand that life is complicated and art can be difficult sometimes. Take care! You're the best!
anon i would die for you!!! i never imagined that i would ever be one of anyone’s favorite artists,,,,, im speechless,,,,,,,,
and yeah unfortunately i dont think ill be able to post every other day once this coming semester starts :( i’ll probably have to cut back to once every 3. but there’s more ink and flowers coming at u guys so!! stay tuned for that
anonymous asked: Good omens characters having a game night?
i know this was sent in for the au prompts i asked for but. i dont think im physically capable of capturing the pure chaos that would ensue from this. holy shit it would be so feral. 
thank you to anyone who read this whole thing!! i read all of my asks as soon as i get them and i have a lot that i’ve been sitting on for a while. if you sent me something i promise i haven’t forgotten about it!! if you’ve sent something in that you were expecting a response to and i havent responded, just send it again to be safe in case tumblr ate it
i love all of you! <3
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same-side · 6 years ago
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hiiii! i just wanna say, i adore your art. second, im teaching myself to draw and while i can draw simple basics (mouths and sometimes eyes if im lucky), im still a beginner. ive watched many art videos and im still a bit confused on wtf im doing. so i just came here to ask if you had any words of wisdom for beginners? could be anything from what tablets to buy to simple mistakes to avoid. ive read some of the other posts here and have found it all extremely helpful so far! Thx for all you do!!
Hey there! Thank you so much!
I would put a read more but tumblr is broken. I’m trying to cover a lot of varied thoughts in little points, so if there’s anything you would like me to elaborate on or otherwise have questions on, feel free to shoot me an ask or dm me!
General
I think the biggest thing to remember is not to compare yourself extensively to others. A little bit of comparison is healthy... But too much will destroy your confidence, motivation, and take the fun out of art. Particularly if you are comparing yourself to someone older than you (life experience and coordination come into play here) or that has been drawing much longer (practice). 
Additionally... If you’re not having fun (and you’re not getting paid to do it), don’t force yourself. If you find yourself being frustrated or bored with art, don’t force yourself to do it. That’s how you burn out and get art block! This applies to parts of a peice, too! If you don’t feel like drawing a face or a hand today? don’t force yourself to finish it. Come back to it later when you aren’t as frustrated or are getting better results. Even if its a week or a month from now. Honestly, at any given time I have probably ten headless bodies in my drafts. That’s okay! I just come back to them when I’m ready to do the face. And don’t be afraid to abandon something if it doesn’t feel right!
Something that also doesn’t get said enough.... take care of your body! I never knew when I started art, but artists are supposed to do warmup sketches and stretches and muscle exercises! I didn’t do any of this, and i went through a period of a few months where I was drawing for 5ish hours every single day. I developed carpal tunnel from it! So remember to take care of yourself. Take breaks, stretch, remember to eat.
Practice
Practice!!!! Even if its just for fifteen minutes every day. Or twice a week. But if art is something you really want to get good at, you have to put in the time and effort!! You can’t expect to draw an hour per month and be on the same level as someone who draws an hour a day!
I know I say this a lot but I think the biggest thing is just reference! If you don’t know what something looks like, look at a picture of it when you draw it! To go hand in hand with that, though, don’t just copy what you see! Learn from it and apply it! So take, for example, a shoe! pay attention to the way the heel is shaped, the location of the eyelets for the laces... how large the toe is, how steep the top! While you’re at it, look at other styles of shoes as well, and compare them! See what makes it look like a boot versus a trainer! And then the next time you draw it, hopefully you’ll remember all the things you learned the first time around!
I do lots of studies that serve no purpose other than to teach me things! I use referencing/studies to learn about color theory, shapes, and anatomy in a real environment. For example, hands or fabric folds! Oftentimes I’ll do them timed (20 or 45 minutes) so that I don’t fixate on perfecting things, just on the process itself and what I can learn from it. This also helps with getting better acclimated to your software and more coordinated with what you’re doing. Repetitive learning, like with playing sports. 
I’ve realized a lot of people don’t quite understand what a study is? Basically you just look at a photo and try to replicate it so that you can learn about lighting or color theory or textures or anatomy or whatnot. So here’s an example of a timed study.
Tumblr media
Additionally, don’t avoid!! We, as humans, have a tendency to avoid things that make us uncomfortable or are difficult. But it will make you a better artist in then end. When I first started, I absolutely hated doing fabric. I felt like I wasn’t good at it. So instead of avoiding drawing clothing, I sat down and did studies and sketches of different kinds of fabric. By the end of this learning period, I became comfortable with it and grew to enjoy it. These days, I adore sketching clothes, and it’s why my pants and shirts and things tend to be detailed instead of stylized in line art. If you don’t like drawing hands because you feel like you aren’t good at it? Sit down, look at a bunch of pictures of different hands, and practice it. By the end, you’ll be more comfortable, you’ll have learned something. Even if you feel like the drawings you ended up with aren’t good, you’ll still have learned, and that’s what matters!
Style
I worked on basics before I tried to develop a style. I made sure to start with a very realistic method at first, so that I could be sure I understood how fabric folds, anatomy, and realistic expressions worked before I tried to stylize them. I think in the long run this approach really paid off for me. It also allowed me to be conscientious of what elements I was absorbing into my artwork. I hear from so many artists that they started drawing when they were younger and into anime or cartoons or things like that, and tried to emulate it. Because those styles became so ingrained into their artistic skillset, it becomes near impossible to iron out those influences and get rid of them later. So starting with realism is a way to ingrain proper anatomy and other good practice into your artwork.
One way to develop style is to take a look at the artwork of someone you admire, and try to list out the things you like form their style - perhaps the thickness of their lines, or the way they do eyes. Do this with several artists, take all those little details you like and try them out! See if you enjoy using them in your own drawing process! Think of it like a grab bag or a pick-n-mix, sprinkling in the elements you like here and there to create something new and your own - not just copying another artists style word for word.
Don’t worry too much about it though; don’t allow yourself to become anxious or fixated on “achieving a style”. Its a natural ever evolving process that comes with time and practice. I know a lot of people get hung up on style, but just take it one day at a time!
Also try to keep in mind what style you’re going for as you begin drawing. And I don’t mean that like sailor moon vs. ghibli. I mean that as in, is this piece going to be a painting, a lineart, a lined painting, cell shading...? It will help you in the longrun if you narrow down the broad kind of style you use, and refine from there. 
Workflow
My workflow for paintings is very different from my workflow for lineart and cell shading. A full tutorial on how I do paintings can be found here! A process video for how I cell shade can be found here!
Everyone is going to have a different method that works for them! You just have to experiment and find out how you like to draw! For me, personally, I use color blocking for painting (see the tutorial above) and a spine method for lineart. How the spine method works is that I will draw lines that represent the legs, arms, back, etc. so that I can determine the placement, length, and composition. From there, I’ll add a dark outline that actually shows the shapes of the body. Then, I’ll use thinner lines to add details. This is the method I’ve found that works for me. Another commonly used method that I’m sure you’ve seen is representing body parts with cylinders and cubes. There are lots of good tutorials out there on breaking down bodies into shapes like this!
Something that I do is if I’m not quite happy with a part of a drawing, I don’t just erase it. I duplicate the layer so that I always have the original copy, and then I make changes from there. Sometimes I can end up with five or six different versions of the same arm or face that i’ve made minor changes to. And then I compare and pick the one I like best, or condense all the parts I like from each version to make a “best” version.
Tools
Currently I use Procreate and the standard Ipad with Apple Pencil. Prior to March I was using a Wacom Bamboo Touch and Photoshop Elements 2008. I find its harder for me to do full paintings in procreate, but its made my life a million times easier for lineart and cell shading. The pen pressure is phenomenal, and I also adore that its wireless / active screen instead of plug in like the wacom. The programme itself is intuitive and easy to get the hang of; it simply lacks a lot of the neat tricks that photoshop has, like rendering (lens flares, for example), gradients, and gradient maps. Try testing out different trials of programmes... firealpaca, photoshop, autodesk, whatever it may be! What works for me may not work for you!
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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years ago
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im in high school and it sucks do you have any advice you could give me
aright ive been thinking about this one for a little while, trying to actually come up with something helpful. in interest of accuracy, i graduated high school in 2019 and am about to enter my sophomore year of college. 
first and foremost, you're in high school. i dont know what grade you're in, but at most you've got 4 years left. and after that you never have to see Any of the people you go to school with ever again if you dont want to. i know this one might seem kinda stupid, but it was one of the few thoughts that got me through junior and senior year. (also when i was home on college breaks (and right now during *this*) the only people ive seen from school are the ones that i choose to see and if i happen to run into someone else we either wave or just ignore eachother. i also live in a fairly smallish town) 
find a spot to eat lunch thats not the cafeteria if possible. idk what kinda school you go to, and this is not possible at all schools, but if it is, take advantage of it. i would eat lunch in the crafts room 99% of the time and work on whatever project i was currently doing. sometimes my friends would join me and sometimes id be by myself, but either way it was nice to get away from the nonsense for a little bit. 
make fun of your awful teachers. not to their face obviously, but with your friends. it makes the class that you absolutely cant stand so much more bearable. i had a teacher in my senior year who was absolutely awful and my friend and i who had the class together would make fun of him outside of the classroom.
doodle. some teachers do notebook checks, so dont do it in that notebook, get some plain lined paper or do it in a different notebook entirely, but doodling is a great way to relieve some of the stress and shit that goes on in class. 
go on your phone. i probably shouldn't be advising this one, but i spent a fair amount of time on my phone in high school, esp as i got into senior year. i think i might have spent more time on my phone than paying attention honestly. theres definitely an art to it. but once you figure it out, its pretty simple. just make sure you're still getting decent grades. 
snacks! figure out which of your teachers let you eat food in class and bring snacks. you'd be surprised how much snacks improve your mood. (maybe not this year tho cause of the whole pandemic thing. but if you're taking classes from home, do it!)
try to take at least 1 class that doesnt require a lot of brain power. my classes of choice were dance and crafts. if your school offers stuff like that, its nice to have a break in your schedule that doesnt require you to be sitting and taking notes and thinking about things. 
know your limits when making your schedule. just because you place into all honors or get reccomeded for ap classes doesnt mean you Have to take them. obviously, parents (and sometimes guidance counselors) dont agree with this. but if theyre cool with it, only take honors or aps in areas that you actually enjoy. that way you will be more motivated to do the work. it also gives you a break in your other classes. when i was in high school, the bulk of my honors and ap classes were in history and english because that was what i was better at and liked more. i took non honors science and math when possible. those classes had significantly less homework, which left me time to do my homework for my harder classes without feeling stressed. 
determine which classes you *actually* have to pay attention in. there will usually be one or two ones that you actually have to pay 100% attention in, and then you can kinda get away with not completely paying attention in the rest of them. 
listen to music whenever possible. if you have a teacher that lets you have your earbuds in, take full advantage. or listen to music while changing classes, or during lunch. music does so much to improve your mood and its something to look forward to. just be careful of that one teacher every school has that makes you take out your earbuds. dont get in trouble.
give yourself an outlet. something that you can enjoy that is absolutely not connected to high school. it could be a youtube channel, a fandom, writing fanfic, a book, a movie, some form of media. and let yourself indulge in it after (or even during) school. i wrote a lot of fan fiction in class. i wrote character maps, hcs, song lists with themes, shit like that. and then when i got home i let myself watch like an hour or so of youtube before i did my homework. just because you're in high school doesnt mean you cant give yourself breaks. again, parents can be annoying about that because they see you not doing your homework and think you're a bad student, so dont get in trouble. but definitely give yourself breaks when doing homework. 
try not to start or get mixed up in drama. its a lot easier said than done, but it makes everything so much better. also in the grand scheme of things, high school drama is not important. 
find a few friends to be close with and stick by them. if you have one or two close friends in high school you're pretty much set. of course you can go through high school with no friends and make it out, but its easier to have a few close friends. it makes it fun. and if you dont have any friends at your school, internet friends work too. 
dont get caught up in the whole college application thing. yes its stressful, but whatever school you end up at will be fine. and people often get so consumed by the process that they get incredibly stressed and forget to take care of themselves. make sure you're still hanging out with your friends and making time for yourself. 
high school seems like the most important thing in the world when you're in it. but it's not. and you'll get through it. i hope this wast least a little bit helpful. if not feel free to message me or send me another ask!
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hannahmcne · 5 years ago
Text
Can You Hear Me?
Ben is only seven when he is diagnosed with meningitis. He wakes up one morning with a high fever and a headache and can’t keep anything down the entire day. The servants and his parents in Beast’s Castle assume it’s flu until his mom comes in the following morning and discovers that Ben won’t wake up. A doctor is called in, and they get him on a small weekly prescription to see if things will get better by week out. On a Saturday, two months before he turns eight, Ben is rushed to Auradon Central Medicare and formally diagnosed with meningitis.
At the time of his admission, the two outside layers of the meninges that protect his brain have swelled up and fluid is gathering inside his skull, leading to him not being able to stand light and having trouble keeping conscious. The nurses and doctors arrange a set of IV’s that send a steady range of antibiotics straight into his veins, an oxygen mask to regulate his breathing throughout the night, several dozen steroid and anti-inflammation medications he has to take by mouth during the day when the oxygen mask is off, and many other things. Meningitis isn’t a surgery-fixable case, so Ben is left to fight it off by himself.
Looking back, Ben can’t remember the exact specifics, but he does remember waking up one morning, squinting around the room as nurses rushed in with water, food, and medications, and thinking that things sounded rather fuzzy, as if he was underwater or had earplugs in. Then, suddenly, if his mom says something to him, he can only hear half of it. Doctors quickly catch on to the problem and bring in Ben’s first audiologist, who tests his ears and declares that Ben is almost 100% deaf in his left ear and steadily increasing towards deafness in his right. By the time he’s eight, his ears are no longer working.
Ben slowly recovers, but his hearing doesn’t. Those first few nights back home are horrible. People forget, try calling to him, get angry when he doesn’t answer, and then are embarrassed when they remember. His parents get someone to come and teach him sign language, but for the first weeks, he struggles to write what he wants to say to his parents as they wait, fidgeting, for him to express his thoughts. Many times, Ben finds himself sitting in the quiet of his room, tapping silently on the windowsills and walls, hoping by some miracle he’ll hear more than just the memories of what the sound was.
The years pass. He learns to read lips. Exhausting? Yes. Necessary? Equal yes. He slowly starts to make friends again. At first, people are nice to talk slowly while he tries to associate movements to meanings, but soon they start talking just as fast as ever, and Ben’s head spins, trying to make sense of everything everyone is saying. He learns to follow conversations by following people’s eyes when they turn to listen to someone else speak and practices daily in front of a mirror with a transcribing device, making sure he can still be understood even though he can’t hear anymore.
People say he’s a great speaker.
His friends describe him as a great listener.
He guesses he’ll never really know for sure.
He’s Auradon’s future leader, born to listen to the kingdom and fix their problems, and he can’t even hear anything. He wonders if his future wife will have a problem with the idea he’ll never once hear her muttering to herself or singing to anything. He wonders if his future kids will make jokes to their friends about how their dad never listens to them or something.
At the age of sixteen, Ben makes the decision to bring over villain kids from the Isle of the Lost in order to start a re-integration process that will start to heal things between the Isle and Auradon. And yeah, there is lots of fear in doing something like that. What if he picks wrong? What if they start to destroy Auradon? What if they just plain don’t like him? He picks four to start with, figuring it’ll be easier to connect with a smaller group first, and sets about work. Soon enough, the first four names are down. Mal, daughter of Maleficent, Evie, Daughter of the Evil Queen, Carlos, son of Cruella De Vil, and Jay, son of Jafar.
Arrangements are made, parents are notified, and the new students are set to arrive on a Tuesday to the Auradon Prep front circle. Fairy Godmother invites the band(Which is a division Ben appreciates a lot more than the other students, given he can’t hear the horrible beginning practices) down to welcome the new students and Audrey gets herself excused from her class to come down and be with him as he welcomes the new kids.
On the day of, Ben can feel cold sweat dripping down his back as he stands, baking in the mid-afternoon light, waiting for the limo to appear down the road. Audrey’s arm is looped through his, his suit is sticking to his arms, and his hands are shaking. She leans her head on his shoulder serenely and then he sees her start moving her lips out of the corner of his eye. He whips his head around to follow her words as best he can.
“…be nervous,” She is saying. “They’ll love you. Everyone does.”
“I didn’t catch that first part,” He tells her with a sigh. He hates how she likes to talk with her head on his arm. It’s hard to see her. She can’t expect him to know a word she said if he can’t see her, right?
Fairy Godmother puts a hand on his other arm gently and points down the driveway. Ben sees a glimpse of a black hood and his breath catches. He pulls his arm out of Audrey’s and takes a deep breath, rubbing his hands on his suit.
The limo comes to a stop; the door opens. There’s a minor scuffle, but then all four stand in front of him, and then Ben is relaxing because he can see teamwork here. He can see curiosity and wonder and chocolate smeared on Carlos’s cheek. There’s definitely hope. He picked right.
“It’s so, so good to finally meet you all,” He declares, stepping forward with a smile. “I’m Ben.”
All of the VK’s eyes rest on him, and he can see their expressions softening just slightly before their eyes jump to the person next to him and he can see walls going back up again. He turns to see what’s wrong and watches Audrey’s lips form the words: “soon-to-be-king!”
He lets out a nervous laugh, mentally kicking himself in her behalf, and adds: “This is Audrey!”, which is another mistake as Audrey stops the conversation to declare that she’s a princess.
Evie steps forward, and she’s mumbling. He has no idea what she’s saying. She’s barely moving her lips as she speaks, and he’s at a loss. He turns to Audrey, hoping she’ll have caught on(Fat chance, because out of all his friends, Audrey is the one who ignores the fact he can’t hear the most) to the fact he is clueless, and he watches her mouth curl into a sneer as she replies: “The Evil Queen has no royal status here, and neither do you.”
Oh. Oh. Why, dear lord, would she say that?
“Audrey,” He grits out, turning to the side. “Can you just… chill?”
Audrey blinks in surprise. “I am chill,” She protests, wrinkling her brow up.
“No, you’re not,” He shakes his head. “So just stop.” He turns back to the villain kids and moves forward, out holding a hand. “I’m Ben, I’m going to show you around and I’m going to be here to answer any questions you have. You can come to me for anything – anything at all.” He shakes the hand of the first villain kid, who he suspects is Jay from the insignia on his jacket, and then the next in line, who stands slightly forward as if she’s the leader. The wing applique attached to her shoulders make him suspect this is Mal, daughter of Maleficent. Evie is obvious. She has apple jewelry and recently declared herself a princess if he suspects correctly. And that means the last boy is Carlos de Vil.
There’s a short introduction of the area by Fairy Godmother, and the band heads out. Ben turns to Audrey. “I think I’ve got it from here,” He tells her as clearly as he can. “I’ll come to find you later.”
Probably to break up with her. He’s sick of her attitude.
As he leads the Villain Kids into the front of the building, he keeps turned around so he can keep track of any conversations they’re having. They don’t say much, which is good, and the first time Carlos moves to ask something, he raises a hand that immediately draws Ben’s attention and has him mentally sighing in relief.
As they pause in front of the Beast’s statue and the four watch him turn it from a man into Beast, Mal turns with a little smirk pulling at her mouth and asks: “Does he shed much?” And even though he can’t hear her voice, he can tell it’s filled with sarcasm and humor. His response pleases himself too.
“Yeah, Mom won’t let him on the couch,” He replies. And Mal’s expression catches because she clearly didn’t expect an Auradon boy to get her Isle sarcasm. All of the Isle kids exchange little looks as he smiles, and he can already tell that this is the start of something great.
The boys immediately get in with tourney, which is great, because it’s something he gets into as well. His teammates have to tap him on the shoulder and relay any direct instructions that are for him, but overall it doesn’t require lots of communication and is fun for him. Lack of communication is another reason he enjoys swimming. Meanwhile, Evie debuts a few Isle designs, slowly starts letting people buy things off of her, and then suddenly she’s the number one fashionista in the school and people are commissioning her for outfits and accessories. Mal draws a lot, he notices immediately, except she doesn’t sign up for art class until he convinces her to do it with him. Then, eventually, she becomes top of the entire program and the teacher sends one of her Isle-inspired pieces to a country gala where Ben’s parents actually text him a photo of it to get his opinion. Ben, meanwhile, learns how to use a dot to make a 2D picture.
And so he and the VK’s are friends. When they come up to talk to him, they clap him on the shoulder so he knows they’re there and he tells Evie to speak up so he can always understand her, and things are good. Really good.
Until suddenly they’re not.
________________________________________________________________
“Ben!” Mal raises her voice and her hand to wave across the room as the young King enters the lunchroom(He’s the king now, and neither Mal nor her friends really felt like ruining his big day to steal the wand, so now their plans have become a ‘Distant Maybe’ (Aka, probably not)). She keeps her hand raised for a few seconds and then brings it back down when Ben doesn’t reply. She stares at her fingertips numbly as Evie, Jay, and Carlos duck their heads a little in confusion.
“That’s not the first time he’s done that,” Evie mumbles, pushing her plate away and setting her mirror down on the table.
“Maybe he’s getting annoyed with us?” Carlos suggests in a hollow tone, setting his elbows on the table and his chin on his elbows.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Mal murmurs as she watches Audrey raise an
arm from a different table and call for Ben. He sees her arm out of the corner of his eye and turns to smile and wave before he goes to sit down beside Chad Charming, who Mal doesn’t like, Lonnie, who Mal only likes a little, and Audrey, who Mal could watch burn alive and not care. Audrey looks over at Mal with a little smirk as Ben starts to talk with them, and Mal averts her gaze, acting as if she doesn’t care that he’s not sitting with them again. Acting as if it doesn’t hurt that he’s ignoring them.
Jay pushes his plate back too and stares at the table for a few seconds. They all completely miss Ben turning to search around the room from his table and trying to wave when he sees them.
________________________________________________________________
Mal is standing at her locker when she hears footsteps approaching from the other side, which the door is blocking. She closes her eyes. The footsteps are light, so she knows they are not Ben’s, but it is the fact that someone is trying to impersonate Ben that has her heart aching. Nothing good can come out of this.
She shuts her locker door and meets the eyes of Princess Audrey, the King’s girlfriend. And then she leans against the lockers and keeps her face blank as she waits for the girl to state her case or scoff and leave, as she usually does.
“Aren’t you going to say good morning?” Audrey demands after a while.
Mal raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?” She asks.
Audrey scoffs. “It’s never a good morning when you’re around. Ben really is just too trusting.”
Mal slumps internally. She really doesn’t want to hear this right now, but she can’t turn and walk off without showing Audrey she’s getting to her, so she stands there without a single flinch.
“I mean, sure, his mom fell in love with the big nasty beast who turned out to be a prince, but with my mom, the evil fairy was just the evil fairy. Your mother, remember?” Audrey sneers. “Doesn’t look like there’s been much change between generations.”
An arm appears out of nowhere, separating Mal and Audrey, and Mal looks up to see the very cross face of the king himself as he pushes Audrey away from Mal. Audrey’s face falls away into shock. “Ben,” She squawks. “How much did you-”
“I saw it all,” Ben snaps, dropping his backpack on the ground and taking his girlfriend by the shoulders. “And that’s it. I’m sick of your attitude towards me, towards everyone else, towards the people I like… everyone. We’re not your doormats, and I hate how you think you’re entitled to brathood because you’re my girlfriend. This is it. We’re done, Audrey. I’m breaking up with you.”
Audrey crumples, tries to grab at his sleeves, but he’s turning away, already gone. He turns back to Mal with a concerned expression, reaching to put an arm around her shoulders, and Mal can’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“Are you okay?” He whispers, tugging her chin up a little so he can see her face. “Listen… it’s not true what Audrey said.”
Mal pushes him away. Something about this isn’t correct. He can’t ignore them and then swing around full circle to try and fool them that he cares about him. “Just go back to ignoring us,” She snaps. “We already deal with everyone else hating us – we can deal with you too.”
Though it’s disappointing… he seemed so genuine and funny.
Ben’s arm drops from around her and he repeats: “Ignoring you,’ as if it’s astounding to him. Mal rolls her eyes. She doesn’t understand why he’s pretending now, of all times. She turns her back to him and strides off with her shoulders back and her chin held aloft. She can hear Audrey starting to cry behind her and thinks, at the very least, Audrey is finally getting what’s coming to her.
________________________________________________________________
There’s a light knock at the door that evening. Carlos has mastered his game and is searching on the internet for a new one to begin while Jay cleans his tourney stuff off in a corner and Evie sketches her heart out in a design book, trying to find her next big creation. Mal is reminiscing Ben’s arm around her shoulders and squeezing her eyes shut as she recalls what it was like to hear Ben break up with his girlfriend. And since she’s the relatively least busy, she’s the one who gets up to answer the door when the second knock comes, more persistent and meaning it’s not Ben behind the door.
She slides the lock and uses her toes to swing the door open. Over the threshold is Doug, who is probably going to end up being Evie’s boyfriend, she thinks. Evie stands up with a smile when she sees him and waves. "Doug!” She greets. “I didn’t know you were coming over today.”
“Hi, Evie,” Doug smiles and waves a little. “I, erm, am actually here on Ben’s behalf and – wait! No, don’t close the door!” He jams his foot into the frame as Mal moves to swing the door closed at the mention of the King’s name. Evie sits down with a scowl as Doug opens the door with a sigh, steps in, and closes it. Mal goes to sit back in her place on Jay’s bed without a word or a flicker of emotion. Everyone else looks away with similar expressions of disdain as Doug takes a deep breath against the door.
“Ben said that the four of you think he’s ignoring you. I’ve, ah, come to clear things up with you in case you don’t feel like talking to him.” He swallows, and then Jay speaks up from across the room.
“Man, we get it, he doesn’t like hanging around the villain kids. We get it.” He sighs, sounding dejected. “It’s just a little disappointing because he’s the one who brought us over.”
“Ben is deaf,” Doug corrects with a shake of the head. “He hasn’t been able to hear anything since he was eight years old. So, if you’re trying to get his attention from across a room or walking by him in the hallways, you need to make sure he’s able to see you so that he can read your lips.”
The room is silent. Then, slowly, Jay straightens up, looking mystified. Carlos looks like the heavens have reopened. A revelatory light comes into Evie’s eyes, and Mal gets up and turns to stare at Doug. “He… can’t hear us?” She repeats.
“100% deaf,” Doug confirms. “That’s why he has to have people speak slower or ask them to repeat things. He doesn’t even know what he sounds like. He practices speaking with a transcriber in the morning so he can make sure people can understand them. So, he hasn’t been ignoring you, he just had no clue you were trying to talk to him.”
“But he went to Audrey’s table when she called him,” Mal frowns, recalling Audrey’s smirk as the king joined them. “And he didn’t look at us at all.”
“Were you sitting somewhere he could see you?” Doug asks. The four VK’s fall silent again. Mal leans back into the wall. Ben is deaf. He can’t hear. That makes so much more sense.
“Why didn’t anyone tell us?” Carlos asks, running his hands through Dude’s fur at his side.
Doug shrugs. “I don’t know. We all thought you knew. I was actually pretty surprised when Ben asked if I could come to explain things on his behalf. I didn’t know that you didn’t know.”
The silence stretches out with each of them taking in the revelation. Then Jay, across the room, heaves a sigh and goes: “Oh,” and the other three chuckle in relieving humor.
________________________________________________________________
Mal makes the first attempt at conversation with Ben the next day, as she spots him down the hall, walking with Chad. She pauses at her locker, screws up her courage, and then sticks out a hand and waves it. Ben doesn’t notice for a second, so she keeps her hand out, and then suddenly his head snaps in her direction. He blinks for a second, taking in the fact she’s trying to get his attention, and then his entire face brightens. He claps Chad on the shoulder, bids him goodbye, and hurries over to her with his entire face beaming, completely happy that she’s speaking to him again.
“Hi!” He greets her.
“Hi!” She smiles a little in spite of herself. He goes to open up his arms for a hug before he appears to remember that the VK’s aren’t as open to affection as the Auradonians. But Mal accidentally opens her hands up and so they stand there awkwardly before he puts a hand around her and gives her a hug from the side. She kind of… lets her arms fall into place around him and he laughs, a bubbling sound that she feels rise up in his chest and it makes her feel a lot happier than she’s been lately.
“I saw you trying to get my attention,” Ben smiles. “Do you need anything? I’ve missed talking to you.”
“I’ve missed talking to you,” Mal smiles, shutting her locker even though she still needs to grab her textbook and head to class. He keeps an arm around her, which makes it hard to draw away the arm she has around his back, but she does let her left arm drop. In her hand is her sketchpad with her pencil stuck into the spiral ring. They start wandering down the hall aimlessly together. “Doug explained… things to us. We’re sorry that we thought you were ignoring us.”
Ben ducks down a little to continue watching her mouth as she looks to the ground, and the thought occurs to her: if Ben is to read lips, he has to see said lips move. She brings her head back up, allowing Ben to straighten his neck as well. “Sorry,” she apologizes.
“No, I’m sorry,” Ben shakes his head. “I honestly thought you guys knew. I was a little concerned when you all stopped coming around to hang out and Carlos and Jay would break off during tourney practices, but I just kind of hoped you were starting to feel a little more at home here and were trying to branch out.”
Mal shakes her head. “We had no idea,” She sighs. “I do think, in hindsight, that Audrey realized we didn’t know. There were times we’d try and get your attention and you wouldn’t notice, and she’d try right after us and look over to make sure we got the memo.”
Ben frowned. “I’m sorry about Audrey,” He shook his head. “She got bad leading up to coronation, but after it was over, she was just insufferable. I’ve been meaning to break up with her for a while. When I came up to talk to you and saw her saying that stuff… it really was just the last straw.”
Mal hums and suddenly, she’s not sure how, they’re out on the grounds and their arms are still around each other’s backs, and they’re just chatting like two old friends. He gestures down at her sketchbook. “Have you done anything new recently?” He asks.
“Loads,” Mal affirms, holding it up. “I’m almost out of room. Having you gone gave me lots of angst time.”
“Oh, we can’t have that,” Ben laughs, rolling his eyes. He holds his hand out for the book. “May I?” He asks.
She hands it to him and then watches his face grow brighter as he opens it and starts flipping through from where he last saw her working. He stops to flip back at some of his old favorites – a rose is, notably, one he is always enchanted by – and she can see in his eyes how impressed he is with her recent work.
“You really like art a lot, huh?” She asks. He doesn’t answer, and Mal mentally kicks herself before she waves a little hand in his face, waits for him to rip his eyes away, and then repeats the question.
“I do,” Ben affirms, glancing back at the picture as he speaks. This one is of Jay on the tourney field, diving into a catch in what feels like slow motion. “Art needs no words.” He glances back at Mal to make sure she isn’t saying anything else before they stop beside a tree and take a seat at the base of the trunk. She wraps her arms around her legs and watches him flip through.
No words, meaning he doesn’t have to follow the conversation. Mal watches him continue looking through her work. A little bell goes off in the back of her mind. You have class, something reminds her. Your textbook is in your locker.
She can be late – it won’t be anything anyone wouldn’t expect from a villain kids, after all.
Ben puts his finger down on a self-portrait she’s been working on, with different parts of her personality and the Isle itself detailed into her outfit and features. In her eyes is a curling dragon, under her arm is a spellbook, her friends have images on her arms, and the Isle skyline is worked into the base of her jacket and into the hemline of her jeans. “This is amazing,” He breathes. “You are so incredibly talented.” Ben looks up to see if she’ll respond, but she doesn’t, she only shrugs, and he goes back to admiring the portrait.
“I want to commission you to do anything we ever need ever in the palace,” Ben breathes, leaning back into the tree. Mal laughs a little and then waves her hand a little. His gaze snaps back to her as she starts to speak.
“Is it okay for me to ask what being deaf is like?” She asks. “I mean, you seem to fit in really well – we seriously had no idea you were deaf – but what do you think about it?”
Ben frowns. She can see a little hurt in his eyes, but something tells her that it is not her fault. He folds the pages of her sketchbook back over the binder, leaving her portrait visible so he can keep stealing glances at it, and takes a deep breath. “It’s hard,” He admits. “By this point though, I’ve been without my hearing for half of my life, so I’m used to it.”
“What don’t you like about it?” She asks.
“Trying to listen to other people is hard,” Ben confesses. “Especially when there’s more than one. I get massive headaches trying to figure out what everyone is saying and jumping from person to person. And then there’s the fact I can’t be called. My parents and I use sign language at home, but almost none of my friends know any, so I can’t use it here.”
“Is sign language easier?” Mal asks.
Ben nods. “Yeah. Reading lips can get exhausting. Especially when you have people who have their faces hidden or when they mumble or even if they have lots of, like, braces stuff in their mouth. It’s hard. I couldn’t understand what Evie was saying the first few times she talked because she was trying to do that thing where you talk without moving your face.”
Mal bursts into laughter. That annoys her when Evie does it – she can’t imagine how Ben refrained himself from slapping her. Ben smiles and leans back into the tree. “There are also the things I miss that make me sad, you know? Like, I haven’t heard the national anthem in years, and whenever it’s played, I just have to stand there awkwardly, waiting for everyone else to indicate it’s done. I can’t hear waterfalls or birdsong or everyone screaming at the end of a tourney match. When I grow up, I’m never going to hear my wife sing or my kids cry or anything.”
Mal’s smile fades and she touches her ears lightly as if to make sure they still work. “That’s awful,” She mumbles, trying to imagine a world of complete silence.
Ben leans forward, looking confused. “Did you say something? I couldn’t catch that.” He squints at her mouth.
“Oh, sorry,” Mal takes her hand away. “I said 'that’s awful’. I wish there was something I could try. A spell or something…” She trails off, thinking of her mother’s spellbook in her locker. The chances of her mom having something in there seem minuscule, but she can always check.
“I’ve learned to live with it,” Ben shrugged. “Is there anything else you wanted to ask me, or can I finish looking at your drawings now?”
Mal gestures for him to go on, and he looks down and continues examining her portrait, completely blown away by the small details she’s included into herself. Mal smirks a little as she watches him trace the pencil markings with his eyes, and then slowly reaches over the uses her nail to flip a few pages forward. She pulls the pages up and Ben gasps when he sees the picture that she’s shown him. It’s of himself, though it doesn’t have much detail, yet. She’s doing one for all her friends. This one has Auradon Castle running along the bottom of the page as Ben stands in a tan shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, looking over his shoulder a little. One eye if shaded and detailed with a little library swirling around his pupil, but the other is just circular markings that will determine the placement of his other features.
“Woah, I look good!” He exclaims, tracing a finger down his sleeves. “You make me look really good!”
Another laugh spills out of her throat. She can’t help it. He just makes her laugh. All the time, whenever she’s with him, she’s laughing.
Ben puts his arm around her and she leans into his side as he flips back and forth between her portrait and his, occasionally glancing through the other three. “When these are done, I want them,” He declares, and doesn’t look down to see if she’ll protest.
Evie finally messages her a 'where are you?’ and Mal knows the gig is up. Ben begrudgingly hands her back her book. “I’m going to have to get you a new one,” He declares, leading her back to her locker for her book.
“I’ll just get one from the school,” Mal shakes her head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“No, I’m going to get you a really good one with lots of high-quality paper,” Ben decides, moving his hands to accentuate his words. “And then we’ll have to get you a lock so no one comes to steal your artwork.”
She’s laughing, again, as she opens her locker and takes out her textbook and spellbook and a couple of other books. Then she shuts it again and they stand there in the sunlight for a little while. Ben’s eyes flicker from her face, checking to make sure she’s not talking, down to the sketchbook, and she knows he’s thinking about those drawings.
“I better get to class,” She finally says, heart falling a little. “I’m already late.”
“Are you free on Friday night?” Ben asks, eyes drifting up to meet hers.
Mal tilts her head to the side. “I think so,” She affirms. “Are you hoping to come around and see everyone?”
“Do you want to go on a date?” Ben asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the lockers.
Mal’s mouth goes a little dry before her smile grows even wider. “Yeah,” She agrees, nodding her head in case her words somehow don’t travel over to him. It’s entirely possible, as her face feels a little numb. “Yeah, I’d love that.”
“I’ll make some plans and come talk to you about them later,” Ben decides. He puts an arm around her one more time, and then they bid each other goodbye, and he goes one way, and she goes the other.
________________________________________________________________
Mal, Jay, and Carlos slam a torrent of books down in front of Evie and Doug as they sit in a hidden corner of the library with completed Chemistry Homework and advanced theory books open in front of them. Evie looks over, startled, as the table rattles a little and a passing librarian pops her head out to frown at them. “What are you doing?” She demands in a whisper.
“Look,” Mal gasps, holding up the thinnest manual of all the various books they’ve dropped onto Evie and Doug’s workspace. It’s a manual depicting how to perform basic conversations in sign language. “Ben knows sign language, and he said almost none of his friends know it. If we learn it, then not only will it be easier for us to talk to him, but also no one will know what we’re saying. It’ll be like Isle code, but with Ben.”
“Oh!” Evie’s eyes light up and she begins to skim the stack of various sign language dictionaries. “That’s completely brilliant! So, is it a surprise?”
“Yes,” Carlos nods, picking up one about various foods in sign language and opening it to a random page. “We’ve got to make sure we don’t botch it first.”
“Guys,” Doug tries to break in carefully, but Jay cuts in.
“This stuff is like, super easy, too. To say 'hi’ you just wave. Simple!” He exclaims, searching through the manuals for one he likes.
“Guys!” Doug calls for their attention. They turn to look at him and then watch as he rattles off a complicated pattern with his hands. Mal’s mouth drops open. “I’m Ben’s only other friend who knows sign language. My dad taught me it. And, by the way, you aren’t going to be able to remember everything in all of those manuals just by reading through them and practicing once or twice. What if you start with conversations, and we can all practice together, and then generally add in things like sports and families and food?”
He has a point, Mal concedes. Jay and Carlos and Evie are all nodding along to his words, so Mal sighs and picks out one large dictionary and the one manual about basic conversation. “So, start here?” She asks.
Doug puts his hands in the air, palms facing outwards, and shakes them back and forth. “Start here,” He instructs. “This is the sign you use to get someone’s attention.”
Helpful, Mal immediately pegs it. This is very, very helpful. They all look a little strange, shaking their hands at each other in a corner of the library, but she feels a little accomplished already because this is something she can use besides holding her hand out forever and hoping he’ll notice her from a distance.
The journey has begun.
________________________________________________________________
Evie walks into the girl’s room a week later to find Carlos sitting on her bed with Dude and Mal finishing her homework on hers. She shuts the door behind her and flips the light on and off twice to get their attention before holding her hands up, fingers splayed and facing the ground, and flipping them upwards. 'What’s up?’
Carlos stretches his shoulders a little before he responds by flexing his index finger as if he’s trying to grab something in front of him, rubbing his knuckles together like there’s something in between them, and then touching his middle finger and thumb together before snapping. 'I need to wash the dog’.
Mal flexes her fingers on her left hand before tapping her wrist against the back of her right hand. 'Homework’. She says. Then, shaking her finger in the air and pointing at Evie, 'Where were you?“
Evie spells out Doug’s name and holds up a new manual out of her bag. Mal smiles proudly. That qualifies as a conversation. They’ve just completed a basic conversation. She balls her fists up and gives them a little shake of triumph before turning her eyes back to her homework. She feels so, so close.
________________________________________________________________
Eventually, it gets to the point that they’re all in remedial goodness together, and they’re signing across the desks instead of talking verbally when the Fairy Godmother gives them a 'discuss this’ assignment. The headmistress watches from the front of the room as Evie, Mal, Jay, and Carlos all move their hands and faces with dramatic, yet silent expressions. Mal recently learned the signs for 'be quiet’ (Crossing one’s hands a little underneath their chin and then moving them apart) and she’s overusing it a little bit as Carlos insists that the answer is 'C’, not 'A’.
"Did you guys know that Ben also knows sign language?” The Fairy Godmother asks when they all settle down. Carlos is fuming in his seat.
“We know,” Mal nods, looking down at the portrait she’s almost finished of him. Hers is done, so is Jay’s, Carlos’s she has to fix Dude, and then Evie’s is falling behind just a little as she works on putting Ben’s parents into his sleeve and them – his friends – onto the other.
“He’s kind of the reason we’re all picking it up,” Jay explains, kicking his feet up on the table. “Now we can talk to him without his other friends being annoying.”
“Oh,” Fairy Godmother blinks in surprise. “I don’t think anyone’s ever learned for him besides his parents. That’s very kind of you.”
She turns back to the blackboard and Mal feels another surge of pride. She can’t wait to see the look on Audrey’s face when the Core Four get to talk to Ben without her knowing a word.
________________________________________________________________
One would assume that Family Day would be an extremely unpopular event for a bunch of teenagers, but everyone seems to get pretty down on the idea that their parents are allowed to visit. Ben tries not to talk about it very much at first because he’s afraid that they’re upset their parents won’t be there, but to be honest the four have kind of given up on their lives back on the Isle and are liking their Auradon lives much, much better.
Ben’s parents, the former King and Queen of Auradon, arrive in a polished carriage that Mal could spot from a mile away. Ben meets them at the gates and she watches as they greet each other with shaking hands and 'how are you’s that she can understand. After exchanging pleasantries with his parents, Ben turns and gestures her forward. She steps up, and Ben introduces her as his girlfriend (Bringing a thumb down from beside his cheek and then linking his index fingers together twice with either palm facing down.)
Belle and Adam’s eyes widen with shock and a little worry. After all, girlfriends either turn into exes or wives and having the daughter of Maleficent as either could get a little messy. But Ben is confident, explaining briefly about her, and she smiles as she pretends she can’t understand 70% of what he is signing.
Finally, Ben turns back to her with his bright smile and re-translates the entire conversation for her. She shakes hands with his parents and then his dad points Ben’s attention to where the Fairy Godmother is calling for him behind his back, trying to get someone to tap on his shoulder. Ben leaves, walking for the Fairy Godmother, and Mal makes eye contact with the royals before she lets loose a few signs of her own.
She touches her fingertips to her brow in a light sort of salute, holds a fist up with her thumb on the outside, then crosses her thumb over her first two fingers, and finally makes an 'L’ shape with her hand. 'I know Auradon Sign Language.’ Then, crossing her arms across her belly, making a motion as if she were flipping a word out to someone from her chin, and turning to point at Ben’s retreating back a little. 'Don’t tell Ben.’
Belle’s mouth drops open a little bit more and Adam straightens up in curiosity. “It’s a secret,” She whispers, leaning forward a little. “My friends and I are all learning to surprise him.” She points back to her boyfriend with a meaningful eyebrow quirk, crosses her arms again, and then touches the top of her head in that same salute. 'He doesn’t know.’
Queen Belle’s eyes fill with tears as Adam nods in the heaviest sort of approval he can muster. Belle gestures to them both and makes the motion to seal her lips closed. 'We won’t tell.’
________________________________________________________________
Mal can’t deny that she is very nervous as she, Jay, Carlos and Evie all sit at their lunch table together, but Doug has pronounced them mostly fluent and they haven’t spoken in each other’s company in a week straight now, so she figures it’s time to put their skills to use. She points to each of the four of them with a questioning look on her face. 'Who will start?“
Jay, Evie, and Carlos all point at her before Carlos signs, pointing towards her and then closing a hand by his forehead before linking his index fingers together in the same way you do for 'girlfriend’ and 'friend’. 'He’s your boyfriend.’
Mal acknowledges this with a deep breath and a nod and then looks up to see the person in question enter the room. She watches as he’s caught up in a group of other friends – Chad Charming, Lonnie, Jane, Doug, and even Audrey. She watches him get caught up in the conversation, looking a little dizzy as he follows everyone’s eyes to figure out who is speaking. Her hands are shaking a little, and that’s not even a sign.
"Go on,” Jay whispers. It’s actually a little weird to hear his voice after just listening to him sign the last few weeks.
Mal hesitates a second longer, and then puts her hands into the air and shakes them a little. Jay, Evie, and Carlos all turn and mimic her motion, and immediately, Ben’s eyes have left his friends’ and he is staring across the room at the table trying to get his attention. After all, that is the sign for getting someone’s attention, and he is the only deaf person in the area.
Evie beckons him forward with a hand. 'Come here.’
Jay gestures to the group, makes claws with his hands and brings them closer to his chest, taps his fingers on his lips, and then points to Ben. 'We want to talk to you.’
Carlos takes up the 'Come here’ sign as Mal puts the tips of her fingers together and curls them outwards at her sternum, a little like she’s presenting a gift, and points at her boyfriend. 'How are you?’ She asks.
Ben stares at them like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing for several seconds. Chad starts trying to talk to him, but of course Ben isn’t looking; he’s staring at their group and slowly bringing his hands up to cover his mouth as they all repeat their signs, trying to urge him to come over so they can really try out their skills. His eyes fill with tears and he stumbles a little. The rest of the group finally follows his gaze over to the VK’s, who start asking if he’s okay by flicking their index fingers out in concern. Mal gets a great sense of pride when Audrey’s eyes bug out and her entire left side of her face twitches. She’s probably seen Ben’s parents using sign language and knows exactly what she’s seeing, even if she doesn’t know what any of the hand symbols mean.
Ben brings his hands down and then starts his own signs. He points at them, brings a hand up to his face and spreads his palm out like something that blew up in front of him, and then repeats the signs for ASL. 'You learned sign language?’ He asks.
The group all signs 'yes’ as one and it’s at that moment when Ben absolutely breaks down. He has to sit down on the steps of the lunchroom as tears fill his eyes and fall down his face. People go absolutely silent around him as they watch the King of all Auradon wiping his eyes and trying not to make any sound as he cries because he has no idea what he sounds like when he’s sobbing this hard. Mal’s hands feel cold, and she’s not sure what to do, but Doug gestures them all forward and they slowly leave their seats to go crowd around him.
“Are we going to get in trouble for this?” Carlos hisses under his breath as they approach the area where Doug is awkwardly patting Ben’s back as the rest of his friends stare, dumbfounded, at what they just witnessed.
“I think he’s just blown away that we did it,” Mal whispers back. She sits down on the ground beside Ben, chewing on her lip a little, and makes the sign for 'okay?’. Ben watches her through his fingers and then sniffles and takes his hands away from his face to make an arc from his mouth outwards with one hand. 'Thank you’.
He repeats that sign with all of them, several times, and the lunchroom just kind of stays quiet despite the fact most of them have no idea what’s going on. He signs it until Mal finally puts her hand on his. Jay shakes his hands from side to side on her behalf. 'It’s nothing.’
“Did you all… learn sign language?” Audrey asks, dumfounded above them. “You know he can just read lips, right?”
Mal rolls her eyes at an angle so that she knows Audrey can see. Because it’s ridiculous that Audrey is the one pointing this out after she took advantage of Ben’s hearing to tease and mock the villain kids. She presents her palms, face-up, points to Ben, then pretends she’s tapping a flat surface with both hands, taps her fingers against her mouth, gestures to each of her friends, and finally holds one hand steady as she brushes the other past it in a small circle several times. 'Now you can talk to us easier.’
Ben watches her hands move and then buries his face in his knees, giving up on holding his sobs in and breaking down on the pavement.
None of them are quite sure what to do. Audrey looks absolutely offended that this is having such a big impact on Ben while Lonnie, Jane, and Chad look enchanted and a little impressed. Doug looks on proudly as the four villain kids exchange glances, trying to figure out how to comfort Ben. Gradually, Evie pulls some makeup wipes out of her purse for him to wipe his eyes and blow his nose with, Jay awkwardly claps Ben’s shoulder while Carlos continues signing for 'Okay?’. Mal wraps a single arm around her boyfriend’s back and pats his side carefully until he starts to calm down.
Ben tries not to shower them in affection because he knows they’re not used to that kind of stuff but he’s such an affectionate guy that it’s hard. He presses a couple of kisses onto Mal’s hairline and gives Evie, Jay, and Carlos more hugs than they’ve ever had before in their lives as students gradually rip their eyes away and go back to their lunch.
'You’. He points at each of them. 'Didn’t’. He brings a fist down from under his chin with a thumb up. 'Need’. He flexes his finger like he’s trying to scoot something in front of him forward a little. 'To learn’. He repeats the motion of something blowing up in his face with his palm.
Mal reaches into her pocket and unfolds the portrait of him, looking over his shoulder with Auradon around him and tourney bats sticking out of his chest pocket and she and her friends opposite from his parents, and this she presents to him by popping her hands out from her eyes into 'L’ shapes. 'Surprise!“
Ben uses the wipes Evie offered him to wipe the last of the tears away and then turns to Jay, on his far right. He points to himself, makes a heart shape over his heart, and then points to the star tourney player. Jay’s face falls away to amazement as Ben turns to Evie, who is next to Jay. He points to himself, makes the heart, and points to Evie, who sits down with a tiny thud and looks like she might tear up herself. Then to Carlos, whose hands start shaking at the motion. It’s something they’ve never been told before, really, all their lives.
Mal is last. She keeps a little sweet smile on her face as Ben repeats the motion one last time. She kind of wondered when would be the first time they would use this phrase for each other, and she thinks she likes this scenario much better than any of the cheesy things she’s been passing back and forth in her head. It’s a little inefficient to sign out the whole phrase – there’s an easier hand motion for this one – but she repeats it back to him with a smile. Pointing to herself, making a heart over her heart, and then pressing the tip of her finger into his chest, right over where he’s been making all his own hearts.
I love you.
(Bonus Scene)
She flips the light on and off three times when she walks into the study area to get his attention, and also because it makes everyone else jump and complain when their concentration is broken. She ignores the complaining as she walks across the room to him and puts her spellbook down on the table and signs 'How are you?’
As she finishes bringing her hand back down, he brings a flat hand down from his mouth at an outward angle. 'Good.’
She gestures to herself, presses her thumb and pointer finger together in a circle and flicks it upwards, points at Ben, then shakes a pointed finger beside her head, towards the ceiling. 'I found you something.’
Ben spreads his palms, face-up, and brings them towards and away from himself with a confused look on his face. 'What?’
Mal sits down in the chair beside him and begins flipping through her spellbook. It’s a little easier than signing because she’s not as fast as Ben and her hands aren’t quite as attuned to making the symbols yet (Also, she doesn’t know the word for 'spell’ yet). She quickly finds the page she thumbed down about twenty minutes ago and plants her index nail into the page before she scoots the book over across the table to show Ben. He wrinkles his nose in distaste, and yeah, she understands why. But then she points to the side note, which reads ’*Temporary for five minutes*’ and watches him relax a little. He clearly doesn’t get what she’s thinking at this moment, but his expression does lose the concerned edge.
She makes grabbing motions towards her chest, then uses two fists facing foward with the thumbs out to make a motion of knocking against something, and then gestures to the spell. 'Want to try it?’
He shrugs, clearly not sure what to think about it, and so she holds her right hand up. He takes it in a firm clasp like they’re about to have an arm-wrestling match, and then Mal guides him through the series of claps and snaps that completes the second part of the spell. "Cambia Corporum Meum Corpora Sua Nominavi.” She declares, and then there’s a dizzy rush where all the lights in the room seem really intense and she loses the feeling in her fingertips, but then all is normal and she’s still blinking over at Ben, not daring to hold her breath as he leans forward.
Ben’s brain is busy. She stays silent as she listens to him examine himself, make sure nothing bad happened to either of them, and glances suspiciously over at her to see if it worked. She can hear his thoughts just like if he was speaking, but his mouth isn’t moving at all. 'Did it work?“ He thinks, furrowing his brow.
'I don’t know,” She replies, making sure she’s not moving her lips along to the thought so there’s no mistaking it. “Did it?”
Ben’s. Brain. Shuts. Off.
She gets it, on some level. This is the first time he’s 'heard’ anything outside of his own thoughts, and it’s a very, very real and intense moment for him(for both of them, really). But it’s still odd to watch everything behind his eyes die and his mouth fall open as he stares at her, wondering if he really heard anything after all.
'You’re cute,“ She tells him, trying to prod some feeling back into his numb existence. 'I like it the most when you smile. When you smile and you’re in the sunlight, it’s like you’re the literal embodiment of sunshine. I don’t know why you’re going for someone like me, who likes shadows and hiding away from people, but I’m always going to be grateful for you.’
Ben takes his hand away from hers carefully and feels his ears, making sure they’re still off and useless and deaf. Mal decides to try something else. She tries to remember what his parents, Belle and Adam sound like, and as she replays little snippets of things they’ve said in their tones and voices to Ben, she watches his eyes fill with, again, more tears.
She doesn’t have many good things that Audrey has said, so she carefully skirts around Ben’s old girlfriend while replaying Chad talking to Lonnie about a school project, Doug whistling 'Heigh-Ho’, Carlos shouting in joy as he completes a level, the rush of the crowd after Jay won the last tourney match, Evie singing in the shower, and she even takes care to replay several things that he’s said to her so that now he knows what he sounds like. He doesn’t think a single thing to her as he sits back, taking it all in and trying to memorize everything she presents as she does.
She tries extra hard to remember what the national anthem sounded like when it was played at the tourney game last week but can only remember a few bars since she’d been busy talking to Evie and Jane. Next time, she promises herself, she’ll pay extra close attention so she can share it with him.
The five minutes ends. Mal knows when it does. She can see Ben listening harder and harder as he gradually goes deaf again and is left to his own thoughts. She lets her own mind go slack and stops trying to feed him sounds and voices and then they both sit in silence while he processes everything, wiping his eyes occasionally to keep tears from falling. It’s just a really long, comfortable silence where neither of them moves and he’s just kind of staring off into the distance
Finally, his hand twitches on the table. Mal reaches over and puts her hand on top of his. He swallows, and it’s like the spell of silence is broken. She brings her other hand down from her mouth, and then popped her hands out from her eyes into "L” shapes. 'Good surprise?“
He gestured to himself and then, pressing his index and middle fingers together, rolled his wrist up by his forehead. 'I can think-hear you.’
She struggles with all of the signs for her next sentence; not all of the words she knows the signs for, and so she ends up mouthing a little as she moves her hands. She tips her hands up and down like scales, points to her spellbook, shakes a pointed finger beside her head, slams a fist into a palm facing up, and then taps the side of her ear. 'Maybe there’s something to help – like a hearing aid.’
Ben takes her hands to keep her from signing anything else and leans forward to kiss her cheek. "This is already fantastic,” he whispers slowly, focusing on the feel of the words in his mouth now that he knows how he sounds saying them. “Thank you for showing me.”
Mal smiles a little and then makes a bold motion, acting like she’s grabbing something from her chest and presenting it to him. He laughs, and she relaxes into this perfect portion of her life.
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elisajdb · 6 years ago
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Family Album: IV
Son Family Week 2019: @sonfamilyweek
Goten Day (5/10)
Characters: Goten
Prompt: Twins
“What’s going on?” Goten approached his parents who were very cozy with each other. He jumped between them wanting to share in the affection. Goten settled on Goku’s lap, giggling as his father squeezed him.
 “I’m finishing the family album.” Chichi turned the album to a blank page. “Your Dad and brother have been helping me. Once we finish, we’ll leave for dinner.”
 Goku took the remaining pictures out of the box and spread them out. Most of the pictures left were taken after his second revival. There were a few he didn’t recognize since they were taken after his death.
 Goten studied the pictures. Though the ones taken after his father came back to life were his favorite, there were some he like during his first seven years. “I remember this one.” Goten reached for a picture. “Mom, Gohan and I went to a museum where there were pictures of you.”
 “Me?” Goku knew of only one place that held pictures of him but he looked at the picture to be sure. Chichi, Gohan and Goten stood before a large portrait of Goku fighting Jackie Chun. “You three went to the Tournament Museum on Papaya Island?”
 “When Goten was five,” Gohan returned to the room, “I mentioned going to the museum as a kid.” Gohan ruffled his brother’s head. “After that, Goten wouldn’t stop begging to go.”
 “Mom didn’t want to,” Goten added. “Something about Mr. Satan.”
 Goku and Gohan knew her reasons but for Goten to understand, Chichi only said, “Mr. Satan has made his money taking credit for something he didn’t do. I didn’t want to see it on full display. Also, some of the memories I made there were difficult to handle at the time.”
 “I convinced Mom we can go during the off season for tourists to Papaya Island,” Gohan added.
 “I see,” Goku understood Chichi’s reluctance to go back to Papaya Island. Besides him being dead a second time, the last time they went it was a week before his death during his fight with Raditz. “Did you enjoy it, Goten? The Shrine of Fighters was my favorite thing to see.”
 Goten nodded excited. “I like that, too! Especially the shrine dedicated to you, Dad.”
Papaya Island was not like Mount Paouz. Goten’s home in the mountains was quiet, the air smelled fresher, the water tasted cleaner and there weren’t a lot of people. Goten’s nearest neighbor was over five miles. Here, people were everywhere. Goten hadn’t seen this many people except in West City visiting Trunks. It was a little scary to the five-year-old from the country.
 Goten squeezed his mother’s hand. “It’s so crowded, Momma.”
 “Don’t worry, Goten,” Chichi assured him with a warm smile. “It’s safe and we’re almost at the museum.”
 Their hotel was only a mile away so the three walked. When they reached the tournament arena, Goten nerves eased since there weren’t many people in line. Gohan was right. There were less people visiting now in the offseason. It wasn’t a long wait for the three to purchase their tickets and venture to the tournament grounds.
 “It’s very different than when we were here, Gohan.” Chichi was annoyed as she read the pamphlet. “When we went, we were allowed to go everywhere. We could visit the competition halls, the mess hall and even the main arena. Now all that is closed off.”
 Goten didn’t like to hear that. He saw the pictures taken when his mother, father and brother visited years ago. He wanted to tour those areas, too. “Can we still see the Shrine of Fighters, Momma?” Goten asked. “I wanna see Daddy’s shrine.”
 Gohan read over his tour pamphlet. “Looks like it’s the only thing we can do.”
 Goten held his mother’s hand as they walked to the Shrine of Fighters. When they entered, there were lines to different areas of the shrine. Goten noticed his mother said nothing to the line of people entering the portion of the shrine dedicated to tournaments before his Dad competed but when she saw there was a shrine dedicated to Mr. Satan, the line was long and there wasn’t a line leading to the Shrine of Goku, his mother was infuriated. “Disgusting! How pitiful.”
 Goten wondered why his mother became angry whenever Mr. Satan’s name was mentioned. When he asked his brother about it, Gohan would smile and say, “Mom doesn’t like it when people take credit for other people’s hard work and sacrifices.” Gohan never explained what their mother meant.
 Goten shrugged. Maybe one day he’ll understand.
 Goten awed at the portraits on display in the Shrine of Goku. Goten’s seen pictures of his father but those were in photo albums and frames on the wall. These portraits were life size and taken when Goku competed at the tournament.
 “Wow, Momma!” Goten released his mother’s hand as he rushed to a portrait of Goku vs Giran. “Daddy was small like me when he fought that big dinosaur.”
 “Yes,” Chichi’s eyes were only on her late husband. “He fought a lot of people bigger than him.”
 Staring at the pictures of his father against Giran, Nam and Jackie Chun, Goten thought about himself. If his father was strong at a young age and so small, then perhaps he could be really strong, too. As he contemplated this, a group of seven entered the shrine. Goten would’ve ignored them except he noticed the tall man of the group staring at Goten. Goten looked at himself wondering if he had food stains on his clothes but found nothing. While the group with him looked at the photos, the man kept his eyes on Goten. It was uncomfortable to the child to be stared at especially by a stranger.
 Goten felt a tug of his hand and his mother saying, “Come on, Goten.”
 Goten followed his mother and brother to the area where photos of the 22nd tournament were on display. Goten loved seeing the pictures of his father. Even though the photos on display were screenshots of fights, Goten was happy to see glimpses of his father’s fighting prowess in action after hearing so many stories about him from his mother and brother.
 Everyone in his family could fight except him. Some mornings Goten would see his brother sparring alone in the yard. For Gohan, he did it to keep in shape and not to get stronger. Goten asked his brother if he will teach him how to fight but each time he asked, his brother would get a weird look on his face. He looked very sad when he turned him down.
 “You don’t need to learn how to fight, Goten,” Gohan would tell him. “It may look fun seeing me spar outside but it’s not as fun as you think. Fighting has consequences.”
 Since his brother turned him down, Goten considered asking his mother. She was strong and was a former fighter, too, but Goten overheard stories how his parents argued over Gohan fighting. He thought if he asked his mother will say no.
 “I wish I saw Dad and Krillin fight,” Gohan remarked with a laugh. He stood in front of the photos showing highlights of their fight. “They both studied under Master Roshi and that time was probably the closest Krillin will have gotten to beating Dad.”
 “No,” Chichi disagreed. “Your Dad played with Krillin throughout that fight. He could’ve ended it sooner but he wanted to see how much stronger Krillin got. Your Dad only got serious when he was in the final match.”
 While staring at pictures of Goku fighting Krillin, Goten felt he was being watched again. He turned his head. It was the same man from earlier. Why was he looking at him? It was unnerving. Goten’s eyes widen in fear when he saw the man talk to the group with him. Suddenly, they all were looking at him.
 Goten moved closer to his mother when he saw the group coming to them. “Momma.” Goten grabbed the skirts of his mother’s dress and hid behind her. His mother looked at him confused before turning to the approaching group. Goten was scared but he was also mad at himself. If he knew how to fight, he could get in front of his mother. If these people approaching were bad, he could protect her and not hide behind her skirt.
 “Hello.” Chichi kept a hand on Goten while talking to the group. Gohan stepped closer to Chichi.  
 A man pointed at Goten. “I’m sorry if we scared him but I noticed that little boy behind you looks like Son Goku.” He pointed to the photo of Goku on the wall. “Is he a relative?”
 “This is his son, Son Goten.” Chichi touched Gohan’s arm. “His oldest son, Son Gohan. I’m his widow, Son Chichi. Who are you?”
 “Oh,” the man was crestfallen at the news Son Goku had passed. The man knelt to Goten and smiled kindly at him. “I’m Koji. I saw your Daddy at each of these tournaments. He was the best fighter I’ve ever seen.”
 Goten stepped away from his mother’s skirt. “Really?”
 Koji nodded. “Yes. The fight with him and Jackie Chun was the most amazing fight I’ve seen. When he turned into a giant ape, I was blown away! It was awesome! I didn’t know martial artists could trained themselves to transform into animals! I would’ve changed into a lion or dinosaur but the giant ape was cool, too.”
 “Giant ape?” Goten frowned. What was this man talking about? “Are you sure you’re talking about my Daddy?”
 “Mr. Koji is mistaken, Goten. I think he’s confused with a martial arts fight he saw in a movie.” Chichi pointed to Goten and shook her head at Koji.
 “Oh!” Koji caught on. “Right. I’m so sorry! It was a movie I saw. Your Daddy couldn’t transform into a giant ape. That’s for TV shows and movies.” Koji was glad Goten grinned at him, thinking he made an error. “After that tournament, I came to the next two because I knew your Daddy will compete. I have to say the last one your Daddy competed in is my favorite.” Koji stood with his group. A woman and five kids. “I met my wife at the 23rd tournament.”
 “Oooo! Momma and Daddy met again at that tournament, too!” Goten shared with Koji. “After Daddy won, he ran off to marry Momma!”
 “Your mother is an amazing fighter.” Koji laughed. “She had your Daddy running around the ring. She was fearless. I thought she could’ve beat him.”
 Goten gasped. He looked up at his mother eyes wide and mouth open. He knew his mother was strong but he had no idea she was that strong. Gohan always told him Daddy was the greatest fighter in the universe. If his mother almost beat him in a fight, how strong was she? Why didn’t Gohan tell him?
 Koji laughed at Goten’s astonishment at his mother. “You are your Daddy’s twin. It’s amazing how much you look like him. I know you’re young but are you taking martial arts classes?” Goten shook his head. He didn’t hide his disappointment. “Oh, well I’m sure there’s a good reason. Would be nice if we can get some real martial artists competing again instead of that fool Mr. Satan. I don’t care what he says. I don’t believe he killed Cell. If it was anyone, it was…..” Koji caught himself in midsentence. He understood why Son Goku was dead. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Goten noticed Koji looked at his mother. “Why haven’t you said anything? The world should be praising a real hero. Not a charlatan.”
 Goten looked from his mother to Mr. Koji. What was he talking about?
 “It’s the price I pay for privacy and peace, Mr. Koji.”
 Goten frowned. What did that mean? Goten looked at his brother. Did he know? Gohan had that weird sad face again. He probably did know and when he looked like that, he didn’t tell Goten anything. Goten resigned himself to not knowing right now. Maybe someday he’ll understand.
 Mr. Koji did. “It’s not much but let me show my gratitude. Let my family treat yours to dinner.”
 Dinner? Goten like that offer but seeing his mother’s face, Goten knew she will turn him down. “That’s kind of you but my sons eat like their father. It will be a very high bill.”
 Koji grinned. “Oh, I know all about that. My father owns Delicious Saikan. Your husband cleaned us out every time he visited! If we can’t treat the family of the man who saved us all, we don’t deserve to be in business. Please,” Koji insisted, “have dinner with us.”
 Goten was very happy his mother accepted Koji’s invitation. It turned into a fun night with Koji sharing more stories of his experiences at the tournaments Goku competed in. In turn, Chichi shared a few stories about Goku.
 That evening, Chichi, Gohan and Goten returned to their hotel. While Gohan took a shower, Chichi helped Goten undressed. He was next to clean up. “Did you have fun today, Goten?”
 “Yeah.” This was a really good day. “I love seeing Daddy’s shrine and talking to Mr. Koji and his family.”
 “They are good people.”
 “Momma, can you teach me how to fight?” In the past Goten was reluctant to ask his mother but hearing how much he looked like his Daddy from Mr. Koji and his polite nudge he should learn martial arts, Goten decided to take a chance and ask his mother.  “I really wanna learn.”
 “Why do you want to fight, Goten?”
 Goten expected his mother to say no but this question was encouraging. “Well, I wanna be strong like Daddy. I wanna be able to protect you.”
 “Protect me?”
 “I was scared when Mr. Koji and his family came over. I hid behind you instead of standing in front of you. Daddy wouldn’t have done that. Please, Momma.” Goten begged. “Will you teach me?”
 The longer his mother delayed answering the stronger the feeling became his mother will say no. Goten’s hopes sank. He wondered if he will ever learn how to fight.
 “If you don’t mind having a stern teacher,” Chichi smiled at him, “I’ll be happy to teach you, Goten.”
 “Yeah!” Goten pumped his fist in the air and threw his arms around his mother in a fierce hug. “Thank you, Momma!”
 “What are you doing with the camera, Goten?” Gohan stood in front of his mirror tying his tie. From his view in the mirror, he noticed Goten sitting on the bed playing with the family camera.
 “I wanna take another family picture,” Goten explained. “You have a lot of pictures with Mom and Dad. I don’t. I wanna catch up.”
 “Boys!” Chichi called. “Are you ready? It’s time to go!”
 Gohan held the door open for his little brother. “Well, we can catch up before we go.” Goten and Gohan left their room and found their parents waiting for them in the kitchen.
 Goku sat at the kitchen table munching on apples from the fruit bowl. Chichi stood in the doorway shaking her head at her husband. “Goku, we’re getting ready to leave. You’re acting like you’re starving.”
 “I am,” Goku whined. “That snack we had earlier wasn’t filling.”
 “Wow, Mom.” Gohan stepped in the kitchen. His mother looked stunning in a white, halter dress. “Where did you get that dress?” It was a pretty dress but the way it showed off his mother’s arms and back, it was not an outfit Gohan was used to his mother wearing.
 “Something in the closet. I had it for years and…..” Chichi looked slyly at Goku who grinned while munching on another apple. “I tried it on earlier, saw that it still fits and thought if I clean it, it will be perfect for tonight.”
 Goten stepped to his mother and held the camera to her. “Can we take a picture before we go? We can add it to the album.”
 “Sure.” Chichi handed Goku the camera. He liked playing with it. It was the same mobile camera gifted to them from Gyu-Mao after Goku returned to life. Goku and Chichi had fun with this camera when their sons spent a few days with their grandpa. Now that she thought about it, Chichi thought she and Goku should do it again.
 “All right. It’s set.”
 The camera hovered in the air with the timer winding down as the Son family got in position. Chichi stood between Goku and Gohan while Goten stood in front of her. The family of four smiled as the camera captured another photo Chichi will add to the family album.
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brightlytae · 6 years ago
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Okay okay. I'm an Exo-L and I used to be an Army but the fandom really hurt my feelings when I got into EXO. (Like fell in love but I never stopped loving Bts) I felt shunned by some Army who felt like I couldn't like Bts if I liked Exo. So I just became an Exo-L. But after seeing about Bts' new album, I really wanna get back into Bts again. But I find it really hard to do it. Maybe because of what I associate them with. But can you tell me reasons why you love them? Maybe I'll remember too!
Hey there! First I guess I want to apologise on behalf of other ‘armys’ who made you feel like you couldn’t listen to Exo. Unfortunately there is such a longggg and (very tired) rift between exo-ls and army and its just so unnecessary. As someone who listens and enjoys both groups, I believe that there is no reason for others to try and stop people from enjoying both! Kpop is meant to be enjoyed and fans shouldn’t feel like they get to control other fans! I hope that you can get back to enjoying both groups!!
I understand what its like when something effects you to the point that it turns you off from your interest. Sometimes people can be so mean and so pushy that its understandable why you would begin to distance yourself. Something I have always done in being a part of a fandom, is to keep myself away from a lot of the fandom issues- such as fanwars and toxic fans who have a little too much to say about other groups. ive said this a few times on my blog, but BTS are not their fans, and these ‘fans’ shouldnt stop you from enjoying what you want to enjoy!
why do I love BTS? for me there are many reasons:
1) Plain and simply- they make me smile. When i’m having a tough day, when i’ve been working late or something has gone wrong, i can watch a bangtan bomb or a run episode and they make me laugh so much. All of the boys are such characters that compliment each other so well and they all have a streak of humour that is just attached to my funny bone. like they’re just so chaotic and fun, they arent afraid to laugh at themselves and have a good time and that to me, is so refreshing to see. When I watch them, i just feel so connected and drawn in, they make me somehow feel a part of the jokes and i really enjoy that.
2) Their music and message. BTS songs really are pieces of art. I really love how active a role the members have in the production of the songs and i specifically love the way they use their music as an outlet to talk about very real problems that teens and young adults are facing as well as just addressing social issues in such a mature and intelligent way. Songs like no more dream and N.O from their earlier albums, songs like Paradise and Answer: Love myself from their newer albums… these are things that i feel like people like me need to hear. They have reminded me that i will be ok and that i deserve to be happy. They tell me that i am worth something even when i am confused about who i am/ what i want in life and they tell me that i am allowed to believe in myself. They use their talents to create these songs that speak to people and connect to them. When I think about Agust D and Mono i know for a fact that there are songs on those albums that have helped so many people (me included). but also songs like Baepsae and 21st century girls are just so so important too? As someone very interested in politics/class systems/society and someone who considers themselves a feminist- i just love seeing these things being brought up in music!
3) Their bond. The boys are so so so connected and that was one of the early things that really pulled me towards bts and made me stay. i noticed when watching their videos, just how considerate they are of each other, how much they look after one another, build each other up, rely on one another, remind each other that they are doing a good job… that they matter. Their friendship is so beautiful to see and for me, it makes the content they release feel so organic- they’re just so themselves around each other and its very real to me, they ways in which they are dedicated to the group. they are a family and they love each other so much!
4) They are good people. They run the Love myself campaign with unicef and several members have donated thousands to charities around South Korea. They truly want to make a difference in the world and they really want this difference to be a positive one. They’re so dedicated to giving and giving- and we dont see this often with celebrities really. 
5) they are relatable. I strongly believe that groups deserve privacy and to have a personal life but bts have always been very open with their fans and i have such a huge amount of respect for them for doing that. They have been vocal about the hard times they have faced, some of their struggles and they remind us that they are just like us.Where they have opened up, they have allowed others to feel like they too can share their concerns and that is so important! And they have torn down the fan/idol barrier in so many ways and allowed us to view them as friends or family. They really care about us all and want us to be happy- they’ve dedicated songs specifically to give us this message and they never forget to tell us just how much we mean to them.  
6) They work so so so damn hard! They dedicate hours and hours of their time to making music and practising choreography, even on their breaks they find time to record songs and covers for us, go on vlive, post on twitter and connect with their fanbase. But really the amount of work they apply to their craft shows- they’re comebacks are always so flawless and intense, I am always surprised and excited by what they are going to do next and they are never predictable! their music videos are literally some of the best things i have ever seen in my life- the artistry, the vision, the storylines…. its all on another level to me. Things are not half-assed. They make sure that when they want to show us something, that something is perfect and it really is always just. so.  damn. perfect!
7) and that leads me on to the steps bts have taken beyond just music. They dont just give us albums, they have given us a whole world! We get notes, a comic book and short films all dedicated to a whole story-line of events that (sure is confusing af) but it keeps me so intrigued! I cant help but want to always know more, find out what I can and see whats coming next! 
I think ive probably rambled at you for long enough but i just want to say that i  found bts at a time in my life where i felt very confused and unlike myself. Bts reminded me of who I was and what I like. I have to say that Taehyung especially did this for me. As i was learning about them and i saw how unapologetically himself he was, how he was so optimistic and caring, how he didnt let things bother him, he reminded me that i used to be like that and that i wanted to be like that again. He and the rest of the group helped me find myself and reconnect to a lot of my emotions. 
I hope this could help you in some way remember what it was about bts that you loved so much, and please dont hesitate to contact me again if you want to talk about this more! When the new album comes out, I hope you can get back into bts like you want to do! Im sorry again for what happened with those other army who shunned you. On this blog I will never make someone feel bad for enjoying exo or any other kpop group out there. 
Thank you for stopping by and asking me this question. It was really nice revisiting why i love bts as much as i do and reminding myself of all they have done for me!
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yn6k · 5 years ago
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hi shine! i wanted to know your thoughts about the book of us: gravity album? any personal favorites? least favorites?
sorry this is so late! i wanted to take my time to answer it because i do have a lot of thoughtsTM hahaha more (like a LOT more) under the cut :) 
so on first listen of the album, or honestly even just from the album spoiler haha, my ears instantly focused in on cover and how to love! so i’ll probably have the most to say about those songs + time of our life since ive listened to them the most!!for me: love how its in compound meter! always love me a good 12/8 or 6/8 or whatever it is haha its felt in three basically lskj i dont have a lot to say about this song? i think the focus is more on the lyrics? but musically i cant really identify anything that really sticks out to me alkdj like typical poprock i really dont know what to say maybe theres more interesting things going on underneath that im terrible at picking out (like in the chord progressions) fav part is def the prechorus^^time of our life: its so weird talking about this now bc ive gotten so used to the song that lkj some of what im saying (like the changes i would have done) feels /wrong/ but ahaha still here are some of my thoughts^^ FIRST OF ALL WONPILS PIANO SOLO >>>>> i just really love listening to it and i think an underrated part of his solo is the i think synth drums underneath them and how it creates this driving motion for the song and so like even tho the song starts kind of bare we can go straight into that hype instrumental intro instead of like having only his solo be the intro and going straight into the more mellower verse or smth along those lines? hahaha i think on first listen the first thing that stood out to me was how the chorus sounded like an extension of the verse?  like the chorus wasnt very obvious and im not sure why in terms of like chord progression music theory, but in terms of instrumentation i think one of the reasons is because that driving quarter note drum thing we get in the chorus only resolves in the second half of the chorus instead of sometime in the first half of it. so it almost gives off this sense that we might be building up to something greater but we arent? really like all of this energy from the drums piling up for seemingly no reason and also the effect that it has on really accentuating the opening lines of the chorus dissipates imo the longer that drum rhythm plays out. like the whole “a page of beautiful youth” part that opens the chorus is mostly all quarter notes and i love how we have the quarter notes within the actual drum line to back that up but then two things after that happen: 1) we get i guess a reiteration of the opening melody in the chorus with the “let’s write it together” which i feel like having the drumming driving with those same quarter notes underneath it makes the intro of the chorus feel a bit less special and memorable? and 2) and after that line plays out, the melody becomes a bit more loose in in terms of its rhythm (the ‘i want to fill it with our memories’ part) the melody doesnt have those same impactful quarter notes anymore, but u still have the drum playing it so its kind of? like a why? at that point like i personally feel it takes away from the support it gives to the earlier melody that was obviously more driving quarter notes. i kind of wish that driving forward motion in the drumline was resolved within the third measure of the chorus with like a singular drum hit into the release (like going from here to something like here but with a drum hit in between as a transition or smth? hard to explain lks i actually had a made a video a while back kind of experimenting with the sound but idk how to upload it to here) but!! i am a fan of having those driving quarter notes coming out of the bridge i love the usage of it there and would not change a thing! i think it fits because we are actually building up to that release in the instrumental, it feels a lot different than the chorus which just feels like it drags on for a bit too long. but i would also would have liked if we had a bit of an instrumental pause or something like right after sungjin says ‘dont worry about a thing’ like after that ‘ma’ a brief pause or like even the omission of the downbeat that the drum is giving like /something/ missing before we get back into him singing ‘leave everything to me’ idk i feel like that change would have been interesting and way to build up tension again in a way?? anyways to circle back to my original point about the chorus feeling like an extension of the verse..i lowkey feel like maybe day6 felt that a bit too? laksdj and thats why we got that drum intermission bw the end of the prechorus and the start of the chorus but thats just a theory idk how true it is like honestly to me it felt slightly out of place and kind of a random transition? i dunno i could be wronghere are some misc. things not in too much detail since i think talking about one song has already gotten too long alksdj but sungjins part in the prechorus i think could have been sung a bit /gentler/ than his usual throaty approach for day6 songs idk. love the vocal layering in the chorus! maybe my headphones are terrible and maybe im biased (a bit of both or neither who knows) but laksdj i kinda wish youngks bass part was a tad bit louder he has some cool parts that often get overshadowed by the electric guitars + vocals i think (like here! the sound is so tiny in the studio i wish they had brought it out a bit more because when it is brought out it like here sounds gorgeous…that sound actually might be a bit overpowering actually haha but some happy balance bw those two). also totally random but i love the way jae says ‘한 페이지’ its just satisfying to listen to like he slurs the words a bit? whereas sungjin in his part is more staccato and lkj i think i prefer the legato connection of the words to the staccato one. also thank god they brought back the piano solo for the bridge laksjhow to love: SHE!! was a favorite/look out for since the album spoiler and she did not disappoint. wonpil said it was motown influenced? love that for them;; the chord progressions are funky and fun to listen out for! love how we get a bit of instrumental differences between the first and second reiteration of the first part of the verse?  (the introduction of this electric guitar kind of in ur left ear if ur wearing head phones thats not there initially but then also this part in the electric guitar in the right ear which isnt there also again in the first reiteration just to keep it different and not redundant! i love the prechorus, introduction of strings for chorus stellar (but im strings biased) but its just so fun to follow how its similar and different to the vocal melody also whats a day6 song without some sort of chanting! love how the rhythm in the melody follows the drum part into the chorus all three times that it happens! the bridge is funky love it haha and also just love how at the end they switch up the ‘cause im ready’ and have sungjin jae and wonpil each sing one of those and then have youngk end with the ‘ooooh’ i thought that was adorable. ok keeping it short thats all i’ll saywanna go back: not to be a svt stan but holiday is that you? hahah jkjk its just a similar genre its like holiday meets maroon 5 haha i actually enjoy a lot of the song the chord progressions in the verses are interesting but also the prechorus is really pretty sounding but lakjd i honestly wish the tempo was just a little bit faster in the chorus i feel like its dragging a bit its hard for me personally to stay engaged with the song because of the murky feeling i personally get from the chorus. also the transition into the second verse is kinda ?? idk ahahaha but yeah main thing is just i wish the tempo was even just the tiniest bit faster for the chorus specifically i feel like verses are fine but just the chorus could have afforded to been a bit faster…but maybe this is just a personal experience cover: this is my personal favorite from the album! musically i just love the sound of the chord progressions in the verses? also the chorus! she! the vocal melody how it goes down but then u hear that piano in the background go up *chefs kiss* art! and i love the changes in the instrumental they introduced for the second verse! they added the bass i believe as well as another electric guitar part that isnt that muted plucking thing that we got in the first verse! AND THEN THE BRIDGE!!!!!!! THAT!!! IS!! A!! BRIDGE!!!! its so stunning and incredibly climatic and beautifully executed!!! i believe thats the first time the drums proper actually come in can you believe it (there are percussion sounds before but i think its a tambourine + a shaker/maraca? essentially not the drumset);; the tension that just the introduction of drums really brings to the piece ahhh and also the chord progressions really take u for a ride the first time u hear it and u dont know what to expect;; and then we get out of the chorus with ‘because im weak and not cool’ as a deviance from the earlier lyrics of ‘my weak and not cool side’ then DRUMTRIPLET!!!!! LAST CHORUS!! MORE DRUM TRIPLETS!! so wonderful the pOWER really the whole song is a huge crescendo ?? kind of influenced by the fact that they keep layering instruments which i absolutely LOVE like its beautiful haha but then the last chorus is just the quickest decrescendo ever as a way to fade out from the song but now with all the instruments (love how the last line really like enforces its importance and lyrical difference from the earlier ‘in the end i was seen’ by having that drum just punch it into u with every hit of the bass drum haha) also like how its not a true circular ending (but it kinda is) like there are instrumental and lyrical differences from the start and the end one thing i kind of wished they experimented with was like maybe mixing up some members voices in the chorus? like i tried a youngpil one myself haha where wonpil sings this part, then youngk, wonpil, youngk (again i hve a video for this but idunno how to upload to this ask) but its not like the song to me suffered from having singular member choruses i just thought it might be kinda cool haha anywhos im biased i love this song and laksj didnt even go into the lyrics rip anyways moving onbest part: i think its really cute that they composed this to be specifically be enjoyed in concert! i really like the best paaaaaaaaa aaaart like that swoop they do and the layering of the vocals i also think its super cool how some of the instrumental drop out towards the end of the chorus but alskj another ‘wanna go back’ transition into the second verse are they experimenting with this transition or smth?? but it just feels like inserted bc they couldnt think of a better way to transition into second verse which?? just kind of awkward akjl idk but maybe they have a reason for it i dont know! but yeah haha again musically im not really sure what to say kinda like for me it just feels like standard pop rock which isnt a bad thing just a /thing/ ahaha 
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shidiand · 6 years ago
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How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?
that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.
i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.
tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.
i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.
i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.
aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.
this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.
i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.
i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.
--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb
ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.
i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah
https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a
alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:
https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572
this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.
it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.
i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.
and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...
so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.
let's talk about tenco's story.
tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.
the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:
book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.
book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.
book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.
if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.
however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.
meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.
i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".
i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.
so i think this should be what happens in the ending.
open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.
i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.
that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".
on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."
its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.
but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.
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