#the lesbian song is hmm. what is the joke here? the existence of lesbians?

[neverheardnothing]

took a dangerous day trip 😱

[agust-dyke]

okay here we go

i’m genuinely kind of baffled by this movie. how do you make a 2.5 hour movie and manage to say absolutely nothing in the process

generally it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be but it’s not. good. meryl streep is good but. yeah. the general feeling i get from it is like. they wanted to make a movie that’s like “it’s okay to be gay!” which imho would have been good in like. idk 2006. but i’m not really sure what they were trying to say other than the most basic “homophobia isn’t cool” and even at that it felt very much like those commercials they used to play u know the ones. the ones that were like “when you use ‘gay’ to mean ‘bad’ do you realize what you’re saying?” like. of fucking course they do. language like that develops from the fact that communities are marginalized. there’s a Reason derogatory language is often related to minority communities. but i digress ig

besides the fact that this movie is supposed to be A Gay Movie and there’s like. 2, arguably 3 main characters that are gay? and the characters who got the most development were. not gay. you know? also fell prey to the “they’re lesbians but they’re conventionally attractive and look, for lack of a better word, straight” trope. they did show a bunch of other teens at the end who looked more like. representative ig? of the community but none of them had speaking roles so :/ it felt very much also like they tried to make the main girl like. Butch But Not Like That. if you know what i mean. like yeah she wears button downs shirts. and they’re styled femininely. she has short hair. and it’s in princess curls. like it just felt like they were like ah yes she’s the Masculine One but not too masculine! not one of Those butches! which. hm.

also the depiction of homophobia in a high school was so very watered down and unrealistic it just seemed like it had no purpose? like one guy makes a joke about like oh well why don’t you just. date guys. and his bro is like haha sick burn dude. and the 4 main high school characters who are homophobic all act like that. they left her a teddy bear (????) in her locker with a note that said “hi my name is lez” like ah yes. truly this is how homophobic kids are. not like using slurs or beating the shit out of people. that doesn’t happen <3 also all of those characters change their opinion in the span of one (1) song which is basically like “well yeah god said being gay is bad but You have a tattoo so. aren’t we all sinners” which really pissed me the fuck off ngl because why are you arguing anything along the lines of “yeah being gay is a sin BUT” no it’s fucking not. rot and die <3

also just. older gay people would not fucking act like that. j*mes c*rden plays this gay broadway actor who’s like. actively telling this teenager whose Entire town is against her that she Has to Make A Stand even tho she specifically states Multiple Times that she does Not want to be the face of a protest or anything she just wants to Exist. as if it wouldn’t be extremely fucking dangerous for her to Make A Stand or w/e. as if an older gay person wouldn’t Know that. the main girl’s love interest is closeted and her mother is homophobic as fuck and the main girl gets??? mad at her??? for not coming out?????? even after her gf explains that her mom is overbearing and critical and demands perfection from her and doesn’t listen. and then at the end she Does come out which is Also extremely fucking dangerous for a kid under 18 whose parent is openly homophobic. also they just had to throw in that her dad left them when they’re. the only black family in this movie. which feels. hmm. racist as fuck. and then the mom does a complete 180 and is like “actually this is fine because you’re my Daughter and i Love you” as if they don’t have a strained relationship outside of her being a lesbian. maybe im just nitpicky but i really really don’t like that bc imho it’s not realistic or like. a Good Idea to potentially show kids in similar situations this frankly unrealistic outcome. idk idk it feels. dangerous. for any babygay seeing that bc it plants the idea of like oh well yeah my parents hate gay people but Maybe. coming out will go well. like it did here. idk it just rlly doesn’t sit well with me

also there’s a whole part where meryl streep’s character (straight) calls j*mes c*rden’s character’s mom??? after he left home at 16 and didn’t talk to his parents ever again???? and this is seen as like a Good Friend Thing To Do which. if my friends did that there would be violent crimes committed. they have one (1) scene addressing the Years of unresolved trauma and then everything is a-okay with him and his mom and this is portrayed as a good and loving thing his friend did. tbh i haaate the whole “maybe. they’re Sorry” argument because like. whether or not they are, the person gets to decide for themself whether they want to pursue a relationship with their family or if they’d rather never contact them again. idk like he isn’t even mad at her about it there are absolutely 0 consequences for her doing that. bad.

overall i feel like this whole movie could have been useful like 15 years ago but as things are rn it. doesn’t add Anything to the conversation. it feels homophobic even though my best guess at the point they were trying to make is ��being gay =/= bad”. this movie was so long and it would be Better if they used that time to like. delve into actual issues presented but as it is it really just. doesn’t make any sort of point or stand or anything at all but it presents itself like it Did. anyways that’s my lesbian thoughts on this movie. tldr: don’t watch it

edit: fucking forgot that they introduce themselves as “new york liberals” who are ready to teach these rednecks how to “be PC” so. there’s that too.

okay. i just watched prom. yes the one with j*mes c*rden. who wants to hear my gay 2 cents on it

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[gwasgy]

Okay. So. Here’s an elaborate multiple days of brainstorming ideas as they come PracticalMagicnatural AU nonsense. Thank you.

- Bobby and Rufus would be the Aunts and they'd be bffs not siblings and would have Vibes but it would be... hm. This is not a Bufus story is what I'm saying.

- the Curse would be on the men and for the women they love of course (classic fridging :/)

- this works for Bobby, (Rufus,) John, and Sam. (Supernatural is bad)

- so this is where it's kind of. Hm. Bc Sally and Gillian are not one to one for either boy. Where Sally and Gillian BOTH have identities separating family and magic (family business), these ideas are inseparable for the brothers.

- alsooo dean and sam to BE dean and sam they would've had to be "raised" by john until they were at least near-grown, even if they had a home base at Bobby's house.

- John still kills himself with grief MAYBE but it's like /later/ and more through self destruction and revenge and alcoholism, leaving the boys to live their later teenage/early twenties in the Bufus household

- Azazel is the one killing all the Wives in this curse. And if they use The Resurrection Spell to bring them back, he is possessing them

- hmmmmmmmmm they need to still be hunters I think buuut what if. They also did witchcraft.

- Dean would cast the love summoning spell, making it so that he uses angel descriptors unwittingly or on purpose because he doesnt think angels are real and therefore cannot exist for him to fall in love with and kill (bc the curse)

- it would be fun and very cringe fail embarrassing for Dean if sometimes he thought about His Angel and accidentally occasionally prayed to Cas

- Anna could show up and be Dean's red herring

- Dean could be in an About to Die situation and think, as a joke or whatever, "fuck. I never even got to meet that hot angel chick that's in love with me," and Cas shows up (with wings bc hot), saves him, *handprints*, then leaves

- OR. There's a blinding light and screeching noise and Dean blacks out and wakes up with a handprint safe and sound

- Cas and The Guy From Practical Magic That's A Cop both bend the rules of their superiors for their person easily and pliantly. except for the initial pushback. Hm.

----

- it's weird bc in practical magic there's this whole vibe of I'm Done With Magic And You're Dragging Me Back Into This And Ruining My Life but sammy had gone away and rejected The Life THEN found the woman he loves and THEN tried to resurrect her mayyybeeeee wait wait wait it wouldn’t be Jess bc she isn’t evilll...

- DEAN would be the one with a bad boyfriend that they accidentally kill and have to resurrect... hmmmmm

- maybe it's like a Boy Best Friend of dean's like maybe he is on a hunt with Benny and he accidentally chops his damn head off and tries to resurrect him to cover it up

- and that fucks up something in the afterlife and Cas is sent to Fix The Problem of whatever the fuck happened to this guy's soul when they did this

----

- it's wonderful to think of the PTA mom shenanigans Dean and Sam could get into but I don't think that Dean would have any sort of kid in this besides maybe jack?

- I mean, it could be that Ben is still around and he was with Lisa but never Loved Her on principal, and left in time so the curse didn't fuck her up, but they're still friends and he will still pick Ben up from school sometimes

- I don't see how the phone tree could work into it but I don't think that it's necessary bc sam and dean and cas's version of this story does not and can not revolve around them being outsiders in their own community but overcoming it and accepting who you are and integrating into the community through girl power and witch magic

- BUT. the potential of sammy being possessed is yeah. It’s extremely. Yeah.

- They could have a nice bonding moment of I'm never gonna leave you you can do this like from Swan Song. Like Sally joining Gilly in the broom circle to help her while she’s being exorcised

- their brotherly bond is NOTHING like Sally and Gillian's, though. Like YES. they would no doubt help bury the body, but they aren't giggling about their love life under the covers together. They simply are not that type of girl

- also I guess there wouldn't be the tension of You're Ruining My Life That I've Constructed Just By Being Here between them.

- WELL.

- Dean WOULD say something shitty about cleaning up Sam's messes though. He is just that type of guy

----

- Dean can definitely be the one chopping and hacking at the rose bush and cas would DEFINITELY get distracted and heal him in the middle of his conversation with him

- Dean oh dean he and his close Boy Best Friends could totally fuck with the curse. Like-

- Dean: Oh my good friend Benny he’s the first person ive really allowed myself to get attatched to in a while but that’s fine! he can't die because i don't love or like him like that because he's a guy! Haha, I'm not gay! We are just guys being dudes just two bros hanging out :)

Benny: *dies anyway*

Dean: FUCK

- Sammy would totally make that new age witchy herbal shop that Sally had! that would be so fun. Also ft. periphery what the fuck is up with those people type locals

- maybe Rowena shows up still and Crowley is also there hmmmmm and Rowena teaches Sam magic stuff and it gets him to make the supernatural a part of his life again without having to do any hunting hmmmmmmm or it's just another tool in his arsenal and he just always deserves to have magic powers

- the supernatural ladies could work in the shop :) like Meg and Rowena and Ruby anndddd Alya :) Ava? The psychic hunger games MVP girl

- or all the kids work at that shop!! I miss those dang kids. Max, the twins, death lesbian, Jake, electric guy, and all them :)

- Rowena is like a witchy shop owner up in town that buys Sam's wares to sell in the city #CareerWoman #GirlBoss

- Jody and Donna can also hang out I guess. Since we're at Bobby's place

----

- Dean casts the love summoning spell after either Regular Heartbreak with Cassie, his first love, when he was 15 or whatever, OR after the behated Boy Best Friend death. Hmmmmmm

- it makes more sense for the story for dean to have someone die on him and apply to the curse. But I don't wanna kill Benny ):

- well I don't think he was ever In Love with Crowley or Benny like he was with Cassie (or even Lisa)

- when he was 15 or 14 and John was still around but had left him at the Bufus household he got hold of that love summoning spell and made sure it was impossible so he would never experience heartache again. He does so while crying teenagishly and 11 year old sam is like. Why the fuck are you summoning this weird monster girl to fall in love with you

- and Dean is like no no this kind of monster doesn't exist. Anyway they'd have glowing blue eyes and they're as big as a building and and they hear me whenever I call no matter far away

- Sam: that...... sounds like an angel, dean.

Dean, having already done the spell: WHAT. NO. NO IT'S NOT IT IS SO NOT LIKE AN ANGEL. ANGELS AREN'T REAL

- Cas in Heaven, a bunch of flower petals swirling around him: what the fuck is that. That's weird

- Cas like 13 years later when he sees a cajun zombie vampire demon: okay I'm already getting weird prayers from some guy down there I'm just gonna check that out

- by the time Cas gets down there they've killed it again and buried it and hmm

- It's weird because it's the opposite of Practical Magic here bc Cas is the one that needs to be believed about something supernatural BY dean

----

- what if they accidentally kill JOHN instead of a hot bf. Dean kills John bc John tries to kill Sam, and they panickedly try to resurrect him immediately

- yeah yeah yeah yeah and John, possessed by Azazel, gets killed again while still being possessed and is buried underground. There can still be a rose bush and frogs and whatnot

- I doon't know why Bobby and Rufus would just leave the brothers in their house if John was alive until then?

- Alright John's been missing for like 5 years and the boys have just been living there and assumed he's dead. Then he comes for Sammy bc Sam is Turning Evil or whatever and John's a huge loser about it

- so Bufus is like "you guys are acting insane and you aren't telling us what's wrong so we’re just going to leave and you're going to sort it out yourself." Like the aunts

- then, when cas shows up to track down the weird resurrected demon-possessed serial killer abomination Dean and Cas are EMBARRASSING like completely totally absolutely embarrassing cringe fail love where they can't talk normal with eachother and Cas keeps getting too close and staring but Dean forgets to tell him to back off or anything and he just stammers uselessly through thin dumb lies

- there aren't any children there to comically thwart Sam's plans to get rid of Castiel as he is investigating Dean and Sam but it could end similarly

- where Cas finds Sam making a small angel banishing symbol and is like "okay. You guys aren't to be trusted and you're doing something evil (and i don't understand what’s happening to me when i’m around Dean). I'm just straight up going to leave then" and boom he's gone

- the fight Sally and Gillian have right before Gillian gets possessed can play out pretty damn similarly with Sam and Dean, but it's a LOT different too

- like it's their DAD not some random serial killer bf. You can't choose your dingdang dad! So the part of "I cant keep cleaning up your messes" WHOSE MESSES who even says that to who whose mess could this even be

----

- Sam has a girlfriend that dies from the curse and it’s bc of being caught in the crossfire when Hunter Bullshit Happens. The Women of the Winchesters’ way. So he moves back specifically to get back into hunting and witchcraft to BREAK the curse hmmmmm.

- Much like Sally with Michael’s death. “I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?” :(

- I think Dean is an Of Course I’m Not Going To Fall In Love kinda character, like younger Sally before Michael. very pessimistic very self depreciating. He only confides his deepest darkest desires (to be loved simply and openly without fear of the Curse taking anyone. To be held and to take care of someone who will appreciate it) in his fakey fake pretend prayers to his imaginary angel (this turns out to be very cringe fail embarrassing when Cas shows up)

- Cas holds onto these prayers like Hallet (the cop from movie) does with Sally’s letter to Gillian, not knowing or understanding why he’s so fixated on them and why he can’t stop reading them/playing them back/listening in

- John… maybe he was pulling a Gordon and was killing all the psychic kids and was eventually going to have to kill Sam, and Cas was for some reason Put On The Case as an angel or was Allowed to Interfere or whatever bc it was fudging up God’s Plan

- and that’s how Cas justified being so fixated and taking notes on Dean’s prayers, like Hallet did with the letter. It was a good lead. It was about their father, and Sam seemed to be having psychic tendencies or whatever that could turn dangerous

----

- Okay okayokayokay so Sally and Gillian’s story is them escaping the ostracization they feel from the people in their physical regional community. The Owen’s family has always been outsiders, even before the curse came into being. They are persecuted for being witches (and sleeping around and being sexy).

- the sisters try to escape this either by just LEAVING: going to a place they can be themself without shame, or assimilating and abandoning a part of themself so that they can stay.

- the Winchester brothers are, I guess, ostracized by the hunting community because they are kept away from it and moved around a lot in the show. Okay okay okay okay okaywaitwaitwait

- Okay so the Winchesters feel alienated from both civilians and the hunting community, and they both eventually choose to do similar things to Sally and Gilly..! Sam LEAVES and assimilates, while Dean stays and just accepts his role his father gave him.

- Gilly and Sam LEAVE, while Dean and Sally STAY. Gillian and Dean embrace what makes them Different, while Sally and Sam reject it in favor of Being Normal

- The witchcraft/hunting thing especially doesn’t mesh well here though because Hunting is KILLING it’s literally murdering sentient beings. It’s war propaganda it’s desensitizing you to Even Though The Enemy Is Capable Of Good Individually They Are, As A Group, Evil And Should Be Slaughtered.

- Witchcraft in Practical Magic is just… a way of life that’s considered outside the accepted norms of society. It’s being openly queer, it’s being from a different country of origin, it’s being non-christian religious in a small town. Accepting witchcraft doesn’t have any moral good or badness, it’s just with or without the consequences of being “out” in your area. While accepting Hunting as a lifestyle is to accept putting yourself in bodily danger doing morally ambiguous/BAD things to protect people you can’t relate to or find a community in. Hmmmmmmmmmm

----

- Sam and Sally both have natural talents/instincts but don't want to use it in favor of being "normal"

-

[farklelucas]

all about the lesbian sea pirate

ahsjdkflg okay im gonna do the first section above the cut and the rest under

send me an oc and some numbers pls!! | here are my ocs!

Section 1 - About:

1. Briefly Describe your OC: Appearance, personality, role in a story, etc..

okay so!! hana is half-japanese, half-german, she’s got short/spiky black hair and fucking Huge brown eyes. she’s the protagonist of a thus-unwritten pirate love story and i fucking love her. she’s superbly socially awkward (doesn’t get customs like politeness or like asking before doing things asdjkfl), she’s a Romantic romantic, she loves sword-fighting, she was raised by her father (alongside three older half-brothers, though she was chosen as the heir to his ship which hmm pissed two of them off), she’s very much butch/tomboy, she loves adventure and sailing so fucking much, uhhh yeah her.

2. Briefly describe their backstory/childhood

like i said, she was raised by her dad, who she idolizes, along with her three brothers on the sea; she never knew her mother, because her father told her that she died giving birth to hana (or did she….? hm. maybe hana’s dad is just shitty?). she was always super excited to play and go on adventures and fight, especially with her three older brothers (only one of whom actually like. liked her.), and by the time she was old enough to hold a sword, her dad taught her how to. eventually, her dad became ill, and named hana, who was only 16, his successor. her two eldest brothers planned a mutiny to overthrow her, killing the other brother who protested. hana fought them but they escaped with half her treasure, promising to come back and kill her, and she’s spent the past six years seeking them out to defeat them.

3. Describe their family life and friends.

i mean i pretty much nailed her family, but she’s very close to all the crew. i’ll give you a quick rundown: there’s caspian, her first mate/quartermaster (grew up on the ship with her, an orphan who was stolen in one of the raids, searching out his lost family but is also a big time goof), dover, her “advisor”/sailing master (wise, lazy, arrogant, bitchy, basically her pseudo-father because her father was usually off being captain), darya, her gunner (slutty bisexual aromantic queen, runs the artillery AND the under deck gambling ring, always drunk, loyal to a fault especially to hana), and zarya (we’ll get to her later ;)) and the other lower-ranking crew members.

4. What is the world they come from like?

hmmm very mystical and mysterious, very “pirates are bad and suck and we dont like them even though they’re not usually bad” but. you know. hana is still an outlaw of the land. there are mermaids and sirens and cracken and curses so it’s better to assume that if its magical it exists.

5. Are they original or exist in a certain fandom?

original!!

6. Are they an introvert or extrovert?

extroverted babey

7. Greatest fear?

being unable to sail but also, later on, (SPOILERS) being arrogant and greedy and malicious like her father

8. What’s their sense of humor like?

honestly just fucking. stupid. she probably likes puns and like dirty jokes.

9. Favorite pieces of fiction or genres they enjoy?

i dont think she can read???? but her third eldest brother bourne would usually tell her princess stories and she liked those

10. Favorite music genres?

folk ig

11. Describe their vision of a perfect spouse, if applicable.

a tall, beautiful, kindhearted woman, who sees past the pirate savagery and sees her heart beneath; a woman who can rule the sea alongside her and knows how to handle her and keep her in check. (looks at zarya meaningfully)

12. Largest regret?

not being able to save bourne

13. Something your OC would say?

my quote for her in her bio is “what am i without adventure?” but i also imagine her saying to zarya, “you are more celestial than the stars, my love, and twice as beautiful to behold.”

14. Whats their morality like?

technically lawful good but could be a roulette wheel depending on the day

15. Would they live in a city, rural area, or suburb?

oof none but if she had to probably rural

16. Which actor would you like to portray your OC? (Or a voice actor)

sjskdldldl my face claim is jen ruggirello

17. Sexuality? Gender Identity?

lesbian baby!!!!!

18. What inspired you to make this character?

honestly?? probably a lack of rep in romance and adventure novels. i just love her!!!

Section 2 - If…

1. If they existed in another decade, what would they wear? (Asker can choose what decade) (Bonus points if you draw them!)

hmmm ill pick… current day tbh, and i imagine lots of overalls and baggy sweaters!

2. If they were in a RPG, what would be their class?

i have to imagine somewhere between paladin and a fighter, im not sure which.

3. If they received a large amount of money no strings attached, what would they use it for?

i honestly think she would just. go into the nearest village and buy all the local hungry children bread. like she wouldn’t horde it or spend it on herself. she has everything she needs.

4. If they competed on a competitive TV show, how would they approach to winning? (the “mean” one, the one who makes friends, the one who’s there for fun)

hm… i honestly dont even think she would think about it like that dkdkflfl. probably the charming one, the leader, the adorkable one.

5. If they could change one thing about their past, what would it be?

i think she would choose to keep in contact with her mother. not necessarily live with her, because then she wouldnt have her first love which is the sea, but just like. talk to her. know her better. go see her every few months. write her from different ports about their adventures.

6. If you met them, what would they do?

i would honestly probably be so fucking charmed by her. shes got that way about her, a leadership quality you can’t shake, even if shes really incredibly awkward too.

7. If your character exists in another series’ world, what would they be doing/look like?

i kind of imagine her in harry potter as like. this half blood gryffindor who’s So Gryffindor it hurts. on the quidditch team, always screaming about house pride, everyone loves her. and then she goes and falls in love with this muggle born slytherin and shakes the whole school dkdkkrklr

Section 3 - Other:

1. What other OCs would they get along with?

oh… i think it’s kind of cheap to say jack, because they’re both pirates, but honestly i think they’d get on like a house on fire. other than that… definitely michael minkus, who would make an epic first mate, and lucy stilinksi-hale, who she would probably wanna smash.

2. What’s their singing voice like?

bad. comically bad. she tries to sing to zarya sometimes and zarya locks her out of their room.

3. Take a personality test as the character. Post results.

okay so ive already taken a couple for her in the past (ex: gryffindor, entj, the motivator, etc.) so im gonna take a completely benign one off buzzfeed and post the results. so if she were a song off of thank you next she would be “bad idea” skskkdkd

4. What would be their fighting style in a fighting game like Mortal Kombat, Super Smash Brothers, or Street Fighter?

to outsmart her opponent, think two moves ahead of theirs just like in real life. jokes on her no one else is ever thinking skdkkfkfl

5. What are some mannerisms/quirks?

putting her feet up on tables, walking into rooms without invitation, holing up in her cabin for days working, smirking instead of smiling, smoking, docking in random cities for the thrill of adventure, wearing her blouses nearly completely unbuttoned, just taking things and enforcing sharing bc. she’s always shared everything with everyone naturally and she doesnt know to ask djdkfkfk

6. Describe their favorite meal.

honestly she’ll eat anything but just like. a Nice leg of mutton and a glass of beer. that’s it. that’s the dream.

7. What do they do when they’re bored?

her favorite activity is to randomly attack caspian and have impromptu sword fights with him, but she also loves stargazing and telling stories to the town children.

8. How do they express love/affection for someone?

honestly she’s very. nuzzley. soft. like a little kitten. also waxes poetic. at least romantically. platonically, shes usually like a dad friend sjdkkrlr. like im talking “attaboy” and punches on the arm. pep talks. dad voice. the whole nine yards.

9. Most embarrassing thing that could/has happened to them?

honestly, she’s not easily embarrassed ever. i think she’s kind of just like meh over most things. the most embarrassing thing that could happen would be losing the respect of her crew. she would hate that so much.

10. Make a portrait sketch of them!

[brownthrussy]

1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

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20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

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24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there