#the legend says she's still making cookies and sandwiches

[haystarlight]

Justice for Luke's mom y'all

Large spoilers for the pjo books here BUT

If luke makes a reference to what Percy said in the earlier episodes when we find out he is bad. I may cry. And by that I mean the whole "you are the son of Poseidon" "I am the son of Sally Jackson". But for him it's " you are the son of Hermes" "I am the son of Mae castellan".

Now people who haven't read the books won't entirely get that. But those who know what she went through to protect her son will. These two are unique parralells of each other (partly why I think the reprise of good kid is so powerful in the musical) and it would make perfect sense and agony.

[bearsanpancakes]

Nagi Rokuya i-HAKE! Rabbit TV - Part 3: The gentleness of a gentleman

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

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Nagi: Mitsuki, Mr. Momo! It’s morning already! Let’s go find the lost Kokona together!

Momo: Yawn, morning… Eh, it’s still dark out…

Mitsuki: You’re already awake, Nagi? You got up really early, huh…

Nagi: I was unable to rest at ease knowing that Kokona is all alone in that forest.

*Rustle!*

Nagi: …!? This is—

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Mitsuki: Here! The coffee is done brewing~!

Nagi: Thanks!

Nagi: Oh! It smells nice!

Momo: You’re right, it does smell nice. Thank you, Mitsuki!

Momo: …ah, it’s hot!

Momo: But it tastes so good…! It’s a suitable drink to have when you’ve just woken up~

Mitsuki: Using firewood to brew coffee is also one of the joys of camping.

Momo: So that’s what’s known as field coffee!

Nagi: The cup is a kuksa [1], isn’t it? How nostalgic! The owner of a bakery that I’m acquainted with really likes this, they always use this sort of cup.

Mitsuki: Oh! Even the tableware has a Scandinavian style to it!

Momo: Using such stylish tableware early in the morning, my mood has become better.

Momo: Plus… we were able to find Kokona, that’s amazing!

Nagi: Once our coffee time is over, let’s return it to the little girl. I hope we can see her smile with ease.

Mitsuki: Yup, I’m sure she’ll be very happy!

Momo: That’s right! But… I never would’ve expected Kokona to be left right beside the tent.

Mitsuki: It’s easier to forget things if they’re nearby, after all…!

Nagi: Hm… Is that so?

Momo: Hm?

Nagi: Maybe Kokona wasn’t forgotten beside the tent, but was instead delivered to us by someone in the middle of the night.

Mitsuki: …are you talking about the staff?

Nagi: No, the hint lies with Kokona’s sandwich cookies.

Momo: That’s… the snack you gave the forest fairies, right?

Nagi: Yes! The gift I gave them is gone, whereas Kokona appeared at the same spot as I’d placed the snacks.

Nagi: Although they like to play tricks on people, they’re still very kind. Maybe they saw that the little girl was on the verge of tears and quickly brought it back.

Mitsuki: Then, what you’re saying is…!?

Momo: If that’s the case, then it truly is romantic!

Momo: It sounds like something out of a fairy tale!

Nagi: I’m being honest. It reminds me of Northmeir, with the way it feels mystical and joyous.

Nagi: This truly is a pleasant morning, I’m really happy to be able to experience camping!

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IDOLiSH7: …

Riku: Wow… that’s amazing! Were there actually fairies!?

Tamaki: There definitely was, right!? They brought back Kokona, after all! Sogo: That is true, the forest and the lake are spacious, so it wouldn’t be weird if there were unknown beings there.

Yamato: Yup, just like how a Zashiki-Warashi would appear in some Japanese-styled hotels~

Iori: The atmosphere of the VCR suddenly feels like that of an urban legend’s…

Mitsuki: Hang on a second…! The VCR was definitely leaning more toward the beauty of a Scandinavian-style camping trip, wasn’t it!?

Nagi: Maybe it was the beauty of a Japanese style, instead.

Mitsuki: I don’t think that’s how it works!?

Riku: Um, Nagi! Did the little girl feel better once her Kokona plush was returned to her?

Nagi: She did, she was happily hugging Kokona!

Mitsuki: It seems like she slept soundly at night as well because Nagi’s Kokona plush was there by her side.

Tamaki: Nagicchi’s so considerate. How do I say this, you’re suuuuper cool!

Iori: You’re like a gentleman who, without a trace, spreads kindness, since you were naturally able to make that little girl feel at ease.

Nagi: Making a lady feel at ease is a gentleman’s duty.

Yamato: As expected of an authentic gentleman.

Mitsuki: She gave you and your Kokona a matching set of camping outfits as thanks for helping her find it too!

Nagi: Treasures that are important to me continue to grow in size…! This truly is a wonderful memory!

Sogo: Camping does seem really fun. The same goes for fishing, although everyone didn’t know what to do at first, you all had so much fun fishing in the end.

Tamaki: That’s so nice~ I want to go camping too…!

Nagi: Oh… If that’s the case, should we discuss it with Mr. Momo?

Nagi: I coincidentally received a message from him earlier saying “I’ve compiled a list of recommended campsites for you!”

Tamaki: Really?

Nagi: I gave him my thanks for letting me experience such a wonderful camping trip, so he invited me along for the next trip as well.

Tamaki: Really!? I want to go too!

Riku: Me too!

Mitsuki: Yeah, then let’s all go together! I can be the guide for everyone once again.

Tamaki & Riku: Yay!!

Yamato: Have fun, just remember to bring home some souvenirs.

Tamaki: What are you talking about!? Yama-san, you’re coming along as well!

Mitsuki: Ossan, there are a lot of things for you to do! For example, starting a fire, building a tent, and so on!

Yamato: Even if I went camping, I’d just stay in a small wooden hut…

Sogo: If we all work together, the work can be completed in a flash.

Yamato: Aha, you’ve gotta be kidding me…

Iori: Although it’s simply camping, there still are various different styles to it. For example, your camping experience this time was that of a Scandinavian style.

Nagi: That’s right, this camping trip reminded me a lot about Northmeir.

Riku: I really hope that we can go camping in Northmeir someday!

Nagi: The summer season of Northmeir is very comfortable and pleasant. It’s unlike the winter season that you’ve all experienced the last time you went, so it’s perfect for you all to experience a different side of Northmeir.

Nagi: Just leave the tour guiding part to me.

Tamaki: Yay!

Sogo: Nagi-kun’s i-HAKE was really interesting as well. It’ll be Riku-kun’s turn next.

Riku: I’m looking forward to it…! I’ve had some ideas on what kind of i-HAKE I want to make, and I’ve thought of a lot!

Iori: I don’t think that decision is in your hands…

Riku: I know that! I’m just saying that’s how excited I am!

Nagi: I’m sure a wonderful experience awaits you ahead.

Nagi: Just like this camping experience, it has already become a precious memory of mine.

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End of part 3 

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[1] - A Kuksa cup is a hand-carved wooden cup made of a birch burl. You can read more about Kuksa here and here 

[huskeddevotee]

Snack preference hcs because I'm bored and love the characters in this stupid game

Amara: Fresh, bright, healthy snacks. Fruit, jello cups, Popsicles - anything cold and refreshing, especially if it's fruity. Loves froyo on her cheat days. Gets strawberry yogurt with cake, more strawberries, and chocolate sauce as her regular.

Ava: Tortilla chips. Could live off of Tortilla chips and some dips. Favorite is Onion dip with hot sauce. Makes a dessert dip of chocolate and caramel that is...controversial to say the least.

Axton: If it's at night, likes a salmon dip with whole wheat crackers. Daytime? Jerky with gravy. Makes his own gravy, family recipe. It's absolutely addicting, everyone tells him he needs to cut the Vault Hunting and bottle that sh*t for market.

Brick: BEEF. BURGER. PATTY. COLD. (It's actually a protein wrap chock full of vitamins but that doesn't work for his reputation)

Maya: Makes killer soup. She makes a huge batch, puts it in the fridge, and pours a cup and puts that into the microwave for a quick bite. Really likes veggie based soups, or soups with seafood.

Moze: Something easy to throw together. It's usually great hang over food. Quesadillas, grilled cheese melts, microwave mac-n-cheese - something filling, savory, and comforting. And yeah, fond of cheese. Also likes peanut butter cookies with black coffee.

Moxxi: Candy. Grandma candy, specifically. Those strawberry things? Is the biggest buyer for them. Licorice is also a favorite. Anything spicy with cinnamon, as well.

Lilith: Gummy candies, cucumbers with tuna or chicken, or some unholy sandwich creation that makes you think she's high. Her tastebuds are f*cked from Phasewalk, now likes peanut butter and jelly with ham and provolone cheese. Her arguement is that peanut butter is savory like ham, and grape jelly is 'pretty much wine' and wine is good with cheese. It's horrible.

Mordecai: Dried meat. What the meat is, no idea. Could be skag, could be human. It's meat, it's impossible to chew, it has no flavor. The popular theory is that it's for Talon and he's softening it in his mouth. As for what he actually eats, likely part plant and feeds off of sunlight. God only knows.

Tina: Rock candy. Loves sour watermelon rock candy. Oh, and also spicy sweet potato chips. And cookies with tea, of course. Likes Chamomile tea and chai.

Zer0: Legends say you can find candy wrappers in their room. They just like cool wrappers. Collect limited edition foodstuffs just for the wrapper or can. Has a wall lined with soda cans with unique patterns.

Zane: Heathen man. Pours spices onto his hand and licks it. Likes stale gummy candy. Licks the salt off of crackers and gives the defiled things to Mr. Chew. Puts cheese and pineapple in shrimp ramen with oregano. Vile, vile, vile.

Krieg: His roasts are to die for, and he eats it cold from the fridge when he's peckish. Uses Pandoran ingredients like cactus honey, salty hail found in glaciers in the tundra, skag bone broth for marinating, and a blend of local herbs and spices. They put Axton's gravy on it one time and had a collective transcendent awakening. The combo is now banned, for anyone who tries it will never enjoy other food again.

Gaige: Girl stalks the clearance section of the bakery in supermarkets for cheap baked goods. Lives off of expired cupcakes.

Tannis: Doesn't snack, but enjoys a cup of tea in between meals. After breakfast, has a green tea. After lunch, chai, and after dinner, chamomile and lavender for bed. Sometimes has a shortbread cookie with it.

Troy: Depends on the week, position of the stars, his horoscope for his moon sign, and the tide. His taste in food cannot be tracked. Goes from eating something bizarrely plain to so complex you think you're having a stroke when you look at it. His inner circle have a game called "What The F*ck Is The God King Eating Now". His personal chefs say they black out when cooking for him. Whatever it is, he doesn't eat anything pre-prepared or from a wrapper. The one time he ate something identifiable, there was a conspiracy he had been replaced by a clone.

Tyreen: One time while she was eating, Troy asked her what she was eating, and she responded, "Your mom" without thinking about it. They didn't speak for a week after the incident and never mentioned it again. Still gets embarrassed about it.

Lorelai: Has not consumed anything but burgers and coffee for months. Please stop her. Her colon is about to pop out of her stomach and strangle her itself.

Hammerlock: Dark rye with tomatoes, basil, fresh mozzarella, and a tall glass of lemonade. It's a snack he's had since he was a boy and it hasn't lost its simple comfort.

Wainright: Fried tomatoes with a coleslaw and peach iced tea. Fried vegetables in general are underrated in his book, despite his father's attempts of trying to get him to accept meat superiority.

Clay: Moonpies and scotch. Time of day doesn't matter. This is bad because its a shot for every pie. And he can put away an absurd amount of them. However, there are only so many shots he can drink before he's pretty much dead to the world.

Fl4k: 101 recipes for birdseed, skag treats, and 'humanfeed' as they call it. Once tried making pancakes for Zane and Moze while they were both sick, gave them food poisoning with nutrient supplements meant for spiderants. The supplements was to boost immune system - hence why it was added - and, unfortunately, venom production. Ergo, making it toxic for humans who do not produce venom. Zane was paler than snow and Moze was beyond delirious. Fl4k felt horrible for months.

Salvador: Makes croquetas in bulk and has a handful when he needs a pick-me-up. Filling varies, but likes them with fish and potato. As for drinks, cannot survive without his grandmother's horchata recipe. Makes it for the whole team whenever it gets cold. Also likes lime soda with pickled vegetables.

Marcus: probably other passengers on the ship

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #440

from a day or two ago.

Do you drink a lot of soda? I definitely do. :/ I'd lose weight so much easier if I could drop the habit. Are tomatoes the best food in the world? I don't like tomatoes unless they're very fresh and on a mayo and bacon sandwich. Have you seen The Blindside? I actually haven't. Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. There's a place I like that isn't huge, but I don't have like, a serious passion for or loyalty to it. Would you date someone 10+ years older than you? Meh, I think ten years is my cut-off. Are you due for a haircut? For sure. >_< Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Yeah. Even with my APAP mask, because I apparently move it too much in my sleep, I'm struggling with my sleep apnea nightmares/terrors. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Most of it. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all of them, no. How many different digital cameras have you owned in your life? How about cell phones? Cell phones, idk. I've had two "pro" cameras. Do you typically do your make up the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? It's pretty much always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Mom. We worked together on my room. What do you usually order at Subway? Turkey, bacon, American cheese, pickles, banana peppers, and chipotle on I want to say Italian bread. How long is your mother’s hair? It's hard to say, because it's all poofy now versus wavy like before it had to be shaved off. Don't repeat it to her ever, but she has, uh... "old lady hair" now, ha ha. What is your favourite car brand? I don’t care. Whose chore is it to clean the bathrooms in your house? My mom does it. Pick your three favourite fruits. Strawberries, kiwi, and uhhh... apples. Or pineapple. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Yeah. We used to play that a lot at Colleen's house on nights we had some drinks. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Oh jeez, idk. I haven't hung out with a friend in a long time. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? Zero. I'm in my bedroom. Are you bored right now? I'm bored almost every waking hour of my days. Have you ever seen a pelican in real life? I'm actually not sure. What’s important about April? My younger sister's birthday is in April. Is there anyone who hates you? Jason probably does. Would you consider adoption? Not for me personally. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Noooo. How do you usually celebrate your favorite holiday? My younger sister comes over here and we open our presents with Mom, who also cooks a nice breakfast. We then go to my older sister's house for the day to watch the kids open presents from their extended family. I say "extended" because the kids obviously aren't going to wait for us to get there to open the majority of their gifts from their parents, ha ha. What’s a few facts about the last person that talked to you? She's from New York, has five kids, has survived cancer (one almost advanced to a fatal level) twice, she loves owls, and recently graduated with her bachelor's in social work (it's never too late, people). What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both cisgender females. Where is the biggest scar on your body? It's probably where I had a cyst removal, which is in a spot I can't see. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? Absolutely not. I am NOT getting involved in that. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I'd go to the gym sooner. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? Hmmm... I think Tyler actually may have had a The Legend of Zelda tattoo? I can't really remember. If not him, then no. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No, but I've been kissed by someone I wasn't dating. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? Yes. What were you afraid of the most when you were a kid? Being separated from/losing my mom. Do you like to make the first move? No. When was the last time you completely broke down? A few weeks ago when I was having a PTSD episode. Are you listening to any music? No; I'm watching Gab play Final Fantasy X. Is your hair long enough to put in a ponytail? No. Has someone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Hm, it's funny, I don't see him anymore. Have you ever peed in the woods? No. Have you ever played Twister? Yeah, I liked playing it as a kid. Are you looking for a boyfriend//girlfriend? Not actively, no. I really don't need one right now. Out of all of your friends who have you gotten in the worst fight with? Of all friends I've EVER had, probably Colleen. Of the friends I still have, maybe Sara. What is the last microwaveable meal you had? I've been on a SERIOUS grilled chicken pesto kick lately. Mom buys these small Healthy Choice (or some brand like that) bowls that you put in the microwave and then pour the noodles and chicken into the sauce after and mix, and oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOD it is so good. What would you consider a talent of yours? Assuming the worst out of every imaginable situation. If Hogwarts was a real place and you were able to attend, what class do you think you’d excel at? According to those little quizzes I've taken, I lean mostly towards Hufflepuff, but with Gryffindor traits as well. Would you rather learn more about space or more about the ocean? Well, ideally, space, but I think learning much more about our ocean would be more beneficial to our planet and our prosperity on Earth. Do you have a mental illness? If yes, how have you learned to cope with it? If no, do you ever suspect you may have one? I have a lot. My bipolarity, OCD, and PTSD are *mostly* under control, but I most certainly still have trouble sometimes. My anxiety and AvPD are still rabid fucking hounds. My depression was well-managed not even that long ago, but life circumstances have it so it's been more aggressive than what was usual. Do you have a favorite character from The Avengers? I dunno, I like Loki ig. Thor is cool, too. It's been WAY too long since I've seen that movie. What type of cake would you like right now? Double chocolate cake sounds great rn. @_@ What was your dream job when you were a child? Are you going after that dream or not? Why? Paleontologist, and no, because I don't want to travel for work, and I could also never handle the heat during site excavations. Even though it may not work all the time, what usually helps make you feel better when you’re upset or down? Watching one of my comfort series on YouTube from channels I enjoy. Why do you personally take surveys? It's a method to just get all these thoughts out of my head and to vent when I need to without actually directly burdening someone with my problems. No one has to read 'em. It's purely for my benefit, and also to pass the time, which I have too much of. Are there any words that you can’t stand? Derogatory terms for certain groups of people. What are words that you love? Words like "serendipity," "bliss," joyous, bubbly words. I'm blanking on actual terms. If you had an endless supply of money for clothing only, what would you load your closet with? Ohhhh, lots of shit with studs and spikes. :') I've wanted a studded leather jacket since I was in middle school. Have never gotten one because of how pricey they are. :( I'd also get some KILLER boots and just obtain a more gothic wardrobe. I'd love corsets too if my body ever shrinks back to a point I'd be comfortable wearing well-made ones. What is your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. What is your favorite type of candy? Strawberry Sour Punch Straws. What color would you like to paint your nails next? I don't paint my nails. Realistically, they probably won't be 'til my entirely hypothetical wedding, in which case they'll probably be black. What do you think is creepy that society accepts as normal? Urinals, alsdkfja;klwejr. Like I get men's bathrooms give the option of using a stall, but still... side-by-side urinals are so weird and a breach of privacy to me. What is the silliest secret about yourself that you sometimes feel the need to hide? That I enjoy forum RP. I tell NOBODY because I fear being judged and found as weird. Like seriously, in my "real" life, maybe two people know. What do you think is a good date other than dinner and a movie? I want a picnic date really bad kalj;dkl;jwe. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No. They're all very similar. Do you ever give money to homeless people? No, admittedly. Mom instead likes to sometimes offer them bottles of water or if she's really feeling generous, a cheap meal at like McDonald's or something. She doesn't like to hand out money because, well, we know what a vast majority of homeless people spend it on. Do you like to brag or are you modest? I get really uncomfortable bragging, so I try to be as modest as I can be. What your favourite thing to have on toast? I love giving it a light toast, then adding a thin layer of butter, cinnamon, and sugar. It's bomb. Do you know how to surf? Would you ever like to learn? No to either. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I love sprinkling some sugar in there. Would you prefer to spend time with your whole family all at once, or would you rather quality time with one family member at a time? Depends on what I feel up to, but I tend to enjoy family time as a group more. That way, I don't have TOO much pressure to be constantly social. I can just listen sometimes. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? I have no idea. I worry what people have heard ME say/scream in my sleep. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, they're meerkat ones! :') Choose one: Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Absolutely a Milky Way. Who was the last person to comment you? My mom. I'm cool, I swear. How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? A lot over all these years, but I'd say that's normal when you've been friends since you were 8 and 10. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. What are you planning on doing after this? When I'm done taking this survey, I'll probably either go to bed or play a bit of WoW. Idk. Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? I have my alarm set for 7, actually. Ever been the only one trying to fix a relationship? Mhmmmm. -_- What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? The case that came with the phone got a big crack in it. Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? Absolutely not. I would start vomiting. I can't handle the sound or the act in general. Have you been to the beach this year? No; I haven't been in a long time, and I am noooot complaining. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Yes. Are you tan? God no. Do you own any leather? No real leather, no. I never would. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Yes. We actually just talked today. Well, technically yesterday. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She doesn't really call me bad names. Have you ever listened to Christian music? Not of my own volition, but I've heard it because of other people controlling the radio. Are you the ‘creative child’? Yes, I'm considered that one. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? God no. That's when everything started going downhill. Have you ever been 'popular’? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Are you a fan of muffins? I LOVE muffins. What’s your most recent obsession? It's kinda chilled out now, but when Resident Evil 8: Village released, I was CRAZY over it. I watched SO many different let's plays of it. I think it's safe to say it beats out RE4 as my favorite installment.

[thehoneybuzz]

Chasing Baker

My Nana was my greatest adversary.

In an otherwise charmed life, Nana was an immovable force and the only legitimate challenger to my willpower. Not without the warmth one would expect from a grandmother, Nana could be sharp - like a sun-warmed pane of glass. Lesser hearts might have bent to me when I requested accommodation - but not Nana. Nana set a firm bedtime, insisted on efficient tooth brushing, and rather than negotiate with hair tangles, made short work of them in single, swift wrenches when brushing your hair. No nonsense. When you stayed with her - in one of two twin beds in a room made precisely for grandchildren - you often found yourself in bed with the lights out, with no real memory of having gotten there, swept away in the tide of your sheets. Nana was uncompromising, and no arena was more suited to our mutual stubbornness as the dinner table.

I grew up a notoriously picky eater. After a weekend at my Uncle Jerry's, my mom received a hardcover copy of "The Strong-Willed Child" from him as a gift. He had spanked me for not eating chicken nuggets. As evident by its title, the book was meant to coach my mother on parenting strategies for mitigating my innate obstinance. This would not be the only copy of the book my mother received. Though, I think she could have written one by the time I turned 4. I simply refused to eat the things I didn't like, and that was a long list.

A relative once applauded - clapped his hands together in joy- upon learning that I had graduated from having the crusts cut off my bread to full-blown sandwich eating. The peanut butter and honey sandwich was my signature dish and an absolute staple. I'd like to say I've grown out of it - and I've certainly grown having tried llama steak in Peru, lamb heart at the table of a Lebanese family, and Greenland shark in an Icelandic cafe - but it took me a long time to let go of my habits and permit myself to try, and it took some coaxing. My preferences ran deep.

My diet from ages six through eleven included Eggo waffles, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, an assortment of cereals, a handful of specific fruits and vegetables, and the occasional steak when mom thought my iron was low. My mom - on the advice of a pediatrician who told her that if she force-fed me, I'd develop an eating disorder - catered to this preference. Nana did not. They must have been seeing different pediatricians.

Nana took the clear your plate approach - The approach driven by reward and consequence. Finish your plate, cookies delivered. Fail to try, become hungry and hungrier still as dessert passes you by. I took to swallowing food whole, and my mom took to sending me with granola bars on visitations. She'd line the interior of my suitcase like we were smuggling drugs. I'll admit it was an unusual form of contraband, but the measure seemed necessary in a divorced child's duplicitous world. What my mom saw as nourishment, my Dad might see as undermined parenting strategy even under the best of circumstances - which they often weren't. I was hungry, so decided it best to keep things a secret and wrappers out of the trash.

Despite Nana's apparent best efforts, I avoided the eating disorder. Thanks to my mom, I avoided most foods until my early 20s. I don't know who was right. What I know for certain is that I was loved.

When I sat down with Nana after my trip to Mt. Baker, she clutched her heart as she said. "Ally - to think about you as this little girl - and that you would only eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches - to think of you climbing mountains…" she shakes her head, "… well I just can't believe it."

I started to laugh and asked her, "Want to know the best part?"

She nodded, smile in her eyes, full of that sunny warmth - playful and kaleidoscopic.

"I ate peanut butter and honey sandwiches up and down the side of that mountain, Nana," I told her, laughing, and then we laughed together. Growing up is fun, I thought, especially in moments like this.

Laughing with your grandmother is a gift you receive in exchange for time, and it is a beautiful gift indeed. Here is a woman who bathed you, clothed you, fed you - and by the time you're old enough to understand the magnitude of the life she held before all that, she is often gone. I'm lucky to have this time. Nana is 90 years old now, and my mother's mother passed at 74. I never got to have the conversations I wanted to have with my grandmother, who died. To ask her questions like, 'Who were you?' 'What lifetimes made up the love you gave so effortlessly away?'

There is something about mountain climbing that makes you consider those kinds of questions in real-time. There is something about mountain climbing that makes you feel as if you are in the process of 'becoming.' So when, at the parking lot of Grandy Creek Grocery, I met my fellow climbers and our guides - there was a feeling of anticipation and nervousness about who I'd be sharing that story with. Dropping me off, my mom described it like the first day of kindergarten. The first person I met was Sharon.

I had been worried about Sharon. Weeks before, on the pre-trip Zoom call, she stood out from the digital crowd as the most visibly senior person there. Sharon did not look old - she looked undoubtedly the oldest. I think this is an important distinction - particularly to Sharon. I remember thinking - "I hope she is not on my trip because I'm worried she will show me down." A very judgmental thought and the universe saw to its reckoning. Sharon surprised the hell out of me.

She paced the parking lot, and I jumped out of my rig to greet her. We quickly began commiserating. Baker would be her first mountain. I had Mount St. Helens under my belt, but it's not much in the way of experience. We talked about our training plan, recounting long drives to taller places. Sharon was from Wisconsin, and she had to drive 45 minutes to get to peaks at 3,000 - the same as me in Eastern Washington. We had a lot in common. Where I ran, she had been hiking with weight and jogging. Sharon wasn't afraid of hard work. On our drive to the trailhead, I learned that she had just lost 75 pounds last year. I learned later that when Sharon signed up for this climb, she hadn't told anyone in her family she was doing it. She was 62 years old and had never once traveled alone. What on earth possessed her to climb a mountain? I'd be afraid of that question, too.

Sharon eventually fessed up to her family and made the trip official. That's how we found ourselves on the side of a mountain together. I'm embarrassed to have been so fundamentally wrong - but my confession is not without meaning, and I learned an important lesson. Never underestimate a Sharon.

When Melissa, our guide, described Mt. Baker for the first time, she called it by its indigenous name, Komo Kulshan. She then gave us its epithet - "The Great White Watcher." Having now met Kulshan face to face, I can tell you that's precisely how he feels. The summit looms as you navigate through the trees. Stoic in the face of the wilderness that surrounds him. Ice cold, he waits. In the Lummi language, he's called 'white sentinel.' He is persistent, vigilant, and watching.

I focused my nervous energy on preparing to meet this mountain by learning what I could about him. I learned that Mt. Baker is 10,781 feet tall, an active volcano, and the second most glaciated mountain in the continental united states (Rainier's got it beat, and you don't count Alaska). It's a formidable mountain, known - as nearly all alpine environments are - for its quickly changing conditions and the perils of its geology. This all, somehow, frightened me less than the thought of meeting Melissa Arnot-Reid. Her legend loomed not in the Cascades - where only a single peak resides above the threshold of 14,000 feet by which the Rockies measure their formidable "fourteeners." Melissa's legend loomed as large as Everest, on who's summit she has been six times - the only American woman to summit without the use of supplemental oxygen and survive. 29,032 feet. Melissa was someone I wanted to learn from, and I was scared shitless of her by reputation.

Suffering a bit of social awkwardness around celebrities, I prepared to meet Melissa by seeking to learn nothing about her at all. The antithesis of my mountain strategy - I told myself our experience would be what it was when we met on the mountain. My job was to learn - to ask my questions courageously - and be vulnerable and bold in seeking truth. I spent a fair bit of time wondering if she might be an ass hole, too. The age-old adage, "don't meet your heroes," drifted in and out of my mind.

In the last 15 minutes of our drive to Grandy's, my mom started reading Melissa's Wikipedia page aloud to me as I navigated the road, undoing months of my concerted preparation. I let her continue, greedy for information. "It says she trains by depriving herself of things - that she'll go without food and water."

"Probably a good idea if you're ever going to be stuck on the side of a mountain without it," I told her. I braced myself for a response. In the past few months, my mother had a growing sensitivity around topics that might suggest I could die on the side of a mountain. Admitting, so blatantly, that mountain climbing was a dangerous sport left me vulnerable to excessive mothering accompanied by exclamations of "Don't you dare!" Instead, my mom sort of nodded and continued, "I'm surprised her baby came out healthy."

My brow furrowed. I hated my mother for saying it. I had avoided a lecture from the mother of the mountaineer but failed to account for the mother of the daughter aged-almost-thirty. My uterus is a topic of conversation around my mother's table. Apparently, so was Melissas. Not wanting to discuss either, I let my mother's comment go unchecked as she continued to list accomplishments. "This article says she's focused on business, not emotions. That she is an incredible problem-solver." Now her reports felt more like cheating - it felt like an unfair advantage to meet someone armed with publicly available information about them. When you Google "Allyson Tanzer," you won't find much about my disposition under pressure. I told my mom it was time to focus and turned up the music.

When we parked, and I went to introduce myself to Melissa, three things happened. As I introduced myself, she first quickly let me know that she would not be giving out hugs due to the pandemic. Then, taking my hand in a firm grip, Melissa detailed that she and our other guide, Adrienne, had critical guide business to discuss and would be with us in a moment. She reported being thrilled to be meeting us as she quickly dropped my hand. Within thirty seconds, I was apologizing profusely and backing my way into the grocery. What can I say - first time formally climbing mountains, and I wasn't sure of the protocol. I fiddled with a bag of Cheetohs and continued to hope that she wasn't just an ass hole.

I went to the bathroom for something to do and remembered what my mother said. Task-oriented. I figured Melissa probably didn't hate me, after all. Despite my earlier misgivings, I was grateful to know a bit about her character, regardless of how 'honestly' that information was obtained. Thanks, Mom.

Our climb began. We left Grandy's in a caravan and parked near 3000' at the winter routes trailhead. On the first day, you ascend to 6000' and establish camp. You carry about 40 pounds, walking 1 mile and about 1000 vertical feet per hour, stopping for 15-minute breaks in those intervals. Conditions are warm, which means you're doing something the mountaineers call "post-holing" - ramming deep holes (as if for a fence post) into the ground as you step through snow that's washed out underneath. It's slow-going and rigorous. An hour and a half in, Melissa reports that we're standing in the location where she usually takes the first break. Unseasonably warm weather with a heavy snow accumulation has made for an exciting start.

You walk along a canyon ridge formed by a retreating glacier. You realize that time here is not measured in the same cadence that it's known to you. Mountains measure time in millennium, not decades. The formations of rock are carved by years, not minutes. The ground holds a history you can't conceive of - an ancient history of rock and ice. You are constantly struck by feeling small both physically and in your very chronology. I spent the first day happily in awe.

At camp, you maintain - guides (and playfully designated junior guides), boil snow, establish a base, dig a toilet. You assess whether or not you need to poop in a bag and carry it down the mountain with you as you try - for the first time - a rehydrated meal claiming to be chili Mac and cheese. Melissa teaches us how to walk on rope over a glacier. I try to mimic her knots. She redefines your concept of efficiency - breathlessly describing a packing order that accounts for calorie intake, warmth requirements and weight distribution - Every contingency considered. When I win the Ice Ax Rodeo by landing my thrown ax in a particular configuration - all is right in the world. Melissa is a drill sergeant giving instruction. She outlines the next minute - next five minutes - next hour - next day.

Her matter-of-fact nature reminds me of something. When I gave my parents a ride in an airplane for the first time with me as the pilot in command, I provided them near the same briefing as we were parked on the ramp. It ended dramatically with, "And if anything should happen, you have to exit the aircraft first in the following fashion." At which point I launched myself from the plane. I wanted them to be prepared to fight their instincts to protect me. I’m the only pilot on board - and my job is to protect my passengers, no exceptions. They both described a sense of foreboding and peace at the demonstration. It’s precisely how I felt when Melissa explained how she would be rescuing herself from a crevasse. “If you fall, I get you out. If I fall, I get myself out, but I need your help as an anchor to do so.” She took the approach of coaching us in only what we needed for the next challenge. We would learn crevasse rescue on a need to know basis. At Grandy’s, she told us to expect 48 hours of endurance. At camp, we’re at hour 9. She painted a picture of the following day.

"We'll begin between 11, and 2 am. Expect switchbacks up the glacier, a series of flats, and gains over the next hour. In 3.5 miles, we'll gain an additional 2000 feet - meandering a path through the glacier's crevasses, and it will gradually become steeper over time. About 1.5 miles to the summit, we'll hit the Easton glacier culminating in the Roman Wall. Then, because God has a sense of humor, you have a long flat walk to the summit after the steepest portion. All said it will take us between 5-7 hours to the top."

Frankly, it was just about as simple as that.

My eyes opened at 11:50 pm to the sound of movement outside the tent. Melissa had coached us here, too. "You may not be sleeping," she told us as we readied for 'lights out.' Days from the summer solstice, the sun burned brightly above us at 7 pm. "Remember that you don't need sleep; you need rest. That's what you're getting here at camp. You're horizontal; your feet are out of your boots. Close your eyes, and know you're getting what you need." Felt like a lie, but sure enough, with two hours of sleep, I couldn't describe myself as tired.

I did, however, feel cold. Chilly night temperatures had crept into our tent, and dressing for the day was arduous. I knew to keep my clothes in my sleeping bag. It was a trick I learned from a friend made trekking in the Andes for dressing in the cold. I knew to shorten my trekking poles while climbing, thanks to my guide on that same trek. I'd be leaving my trekking poles behind today, though. Ice axes only. We divide into rope teams. The race begins, but there's no starting pistol - only wind.

Fifteen minutes into our climb and we're struggling to find the rhythm. I'm still shaking the bleariness of the cold. The rope between climbers takes on an interesting dynamic. While it connects you to your fellow climber, it also isolates you from them. You have to maintain a certain distance away from one another while maintaining the same pace. It's a dance with crampons on in glacial ice - a delicate dance indeed - and it's where climbing feels like a team sport. You're all in it together.

Voices rang out in sequence like a game of telephone - one of our team would need to climb down. We said short goodbyes and waited as Adrienne (guide) descended with climber to camp. We were lucky - we hadn’t been climbing long which meant Adrienne could climb down and back to rejoin her rope. Guide redundancy is a safety net when groups of climbers work together.

Darkness continued. We continued. As you persist, darkness seems to persist along with you. In the first hour, it grows heavy. Your world begins and ends at the light of your headlamp, and that's where you find it—your rhythm. Crampons crunching, breath steady, and the gentle swish of your layers create a sort of timpani, a medley of percussion sounds. Clink, brush, crunch, and clink, brush, crunch, as ax bites ice, the movement of your clothes, and the toe of your boot kicks crampon into snow propelling you forward. There isn't much to think about in this grinding meditation. You're grounded in tugs from ahead or behind you as you march, slowly up. You can count steps, miles, feet of elevation - whatever keeps you moving. Whatever keeps you going up.

Moments before sunrise, we would lose another on our team. I listened to Melissa coach her. "What we're headed to is going to be harder than what we've just done. If how you are feeling is taking away from your ability to focus on your next step - I can only tell you that it's not going to get easier from here." That's when I saw the decision on her face. Another round of goodbyes - this one a bit more somber. She had worked so hard.

The decision to descend is a difficult one, but it’s one of the most important you can make. There are steep consequences to being in over your head in a place so remote. The summit is a siren, beware. Melissa - aware of the remaining teams intention to summit - advised us to plug our ears as she told the descending climber the Sherpa belief that a mountain won't let you summit for the first time if it likes you. Mountains bring you back. Further, she coached, the decision to go down can lift an entire team's chance of success if you feel you're a liability. Recognizing yourself and your limitations truthfully is a mountain in itself. That's the summit this person made in her decision to descend.

Like a good Agatha Christie novel, our list of characters dwindled. We added layers and continued - five of the original eight. Melissa was right, again. After we lost the second climber, our ascent became a proper climb. From that point forward, if anyone decided to turn around - we would all have to. There was only one remaining guide, and she had to protect all her climbers, no exceptions - me in the cockpit all over again.

She didn't show it, but 62-year-old Sharon was genuinely frightened. She had realized the same thing I did. If she didn't make it - no one would. Sharon kept climbing. Remember when I was worried she would slow me down?

When the sun starts to rise, everything begins to feel possible again. I don't mean to say that things were hopeless, just that with the sun comes energy and a sense of renewal. Color returns to the landscape, and you can begin to be able to measure your progress concretely. The mountain casts a shadow across the earth, stretching miles. You can't believe that you are contained within that shadow, on the face of such a giant who stands so impossibly tall. Melissa stood there, and I took her picture.

She had turned out to be not an ass hole at all. Where I sought to be her student, she aspired to teach - at once brilliant and kind. Her stride - her sport - a work of art. The precise art of what she calls slow, uphill walking. Her shadow and the shadow of the mountain impressed upon me the power of legends.

As the Roman Wall came into view - I knew we had it. We short rope in and make one last push. If Mt. Baker is a joke from God, the ending of the Roman Wall is its punchline.

Atop the incline awaits a long, easy walk to a haystack peak some few hundred yards in the distance. I was bubbling with emotion as my heart rate settled and the view became clear. There wasn't much difference between where we stood and where we were going. We dropped our packs, unroped, and ran up the summit. I was in tears.

Melissa broke her no-hugs-in-the-pandemic rule and celebrated us each in turn. I snapped countless photos and spent each frozen moment smiling. I pulled Melissa and Sharon in close. I had felt something on my heart and only needed a moment's bravery to share it.

I started awkwardly.

"I'd like to say something to you and Sharon," I muttered, barely audible over the wind, as I tugged on Melissa's sleeve. I grabbed Sharon's arm and pulled her in too. I don't remember the exact thing I said or the exact way in which I said it. I remember pausing to make sure I got it right and wondering for a long time if I managed to do so.

I told them that I had come to the mountain expecting to be impressed by one person. Melissa promised an impressive education - on which she delivered. She is of that rare quality - the kind who’s presence improves you. I came to Baker with that expectation, I confessed, I expected Melissa. I paused before telling Sharon, her gloved hand in mine, “You?” I laughed nervously. “I wasn’t expecting. A 62-year-old woman….” I nodded back to Melissa, “And you, the mother of a 3-year-old…” I didn’t want to get this wrong. “You are two people who our society labels and confines. Yet, here you are - on top of a mountain. I have to tell you….” I was choked up in earnest here and struggled to continue.

"It matters.” I said. “What you do matters. It matters to have an example of what is possible. Both of you have provided that example to me and women like me. Thank you." I sobbed. "I am so grateful for it and grateful for you." Melissa smothered me in her jacket as she embraced me, once again, in a hug. Pandemic be damned. My tears froze. While I expected a "There's no crying in mountaineering" a la Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own (it was a climb of mostly women, after all) the admonishment never came.

Sharon grabbed hold of me next and we shared the alpine view. Before I knew it, we were the last two on the summit. The wind howled a steady cheer. Celebrations concluded, it was time to leave. I stayed for just a moment longer, watching Sharon as she left. They don't make anything more beautiful than a mountain, and it's a view worth savoring. I descended, joyfully, to my team.

I didn't bury Jake up there. In Ashes to Ashes, I told the story of taking my old farm dog's remains to the top of my first volcano. He's not so much a good luck charm as he is an omen of protection. I don't need luck as much as I need safety, and he serves his duty well. Jake stayed with me through our descent to camp. I needed a little protection coming down off the Roman Wall, I thought. I wanted him close until we were off the glacier. He lays now at the foot of my tent—a very good place for a very good dog.

There's a natural mindfulness to climbing. I often find myself living in the present step - not thinking about the route that lies below. You forget in moments that the trip up is accompanied by an equally long and perilous journey down. From the summit, your journey is far from over. Yet, time flies by even as you stop to admire the steam vents. The rainbow that surrounds the sun refracts joy and color the same.

You reach camp, celebrate, pack up. Miles and thousands of feet remain even from there. That's when you realize it's ending and when I realized I didn't want it to end.

We spent the next few miles getting to know each other in earnest, savoring time and mountain views, chatting in the way of long-form hikers - about the nature of things and through storytelling. Melissa regaled us with vulnerable truths and comedic parables. We laughed. I kept sipping at the wells of knowledge around me, drinking in the moments. Laughter distracted from hunger, from wet feet, and from the dull and dim realization that all good things must come to an end. We made our way to the bottom of the mountain. Just like that - we say goodbye.

Sharon drove me back to Grandy's. We chitter like school girls - adrenaline and nostalgia collide in our post-climb delirium. We talk about the future. I realize that we are good friends. I am humbled by just how wrong a person can be to believe something about someone for no good reason.

Mom picks me up, and with her embrace my adventure is over. I’ve come full circle - safe and sound, parked in the lot of Grandy Creek Grocery.

Melissa found us there and knocked on our window.

"Your daughter is really special. The MOST special,” my hero and friend told my mom. Mom beamed with a special pride reserved exclusively for mothers of strong-willed daughters. I had been misreading things - the adventure had only just begun.

There are eight years between Melissa and I. I’m not sure I’ll be chasing Everest in that time, but I know I won’t be finished. I’ve got thirty-three years to catch Sharon at 62. In the mountain blink of sixty-one years, I’ll be as old as my Nana and I hope at least half as wise. Good thing there are so many years - for there is so much left to climb.

[dreaming-about-space]

8 , 9 , 20 , 21 , 22 , 23 , 28 , 29 , 40 , 44 , 48 , 49 , 50 , 51 , 55 , 56 , 57 , 58 , 60 , 61 , 64-70 , 72 , 73 , 83 , 85 , 86-90 , 96 I know you posted that a long ago (^_^メ) sorry . If you don't wanna answer , it will be totally fine too .

OMG, this one was so hard to find, lmao. I mean, to find the post with questions, sorry for not answering for long time ~

But here I am with answers for you ♥️

8. movies or tv shows? Tv shows probably. I like movies, but I am also usually not ready to say goodbye to movie heroes in the end, with TV shows I don't have to

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rain, I love smell of rain

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebook ♥️

21. obsession from childhood? I don't recall any ^^’

22. role model? None, or at least I cant remember any

23. strange habits? Hmmmmm... Telling people rude things as my way to tell them I love them :<

28. five songs to describe you? That might be a hard one, since I don’t listen to music as often as I used to and I don't identify with them as much as I used to. So there will be few songs that I used to use to describe me but they might be not really up to date. IAMX - 'The Great Shipwreck of Life' Bring Me The Horizon - "And The Snakes Start To Sing" Billy Talent - Surrender Bring Me The Horizon - Don't Go Lyrics Bring Me The Horizon - Drown (Cover) by Faith Marie

But if you wan something more up to date.. Cat orchestra Eurythmics, Annie Lennox, Dave Stewart - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) Hooverphonic - Mad About You Faith Marie - Antidote and Alice Cooper - Poison  maybe

29. best way to bond with you? Play league of legends with me, lmao

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? There were shitload of bad things that happened to me then... I mostly don’t remember them since I’ve got my partial amnesia.. So.. sorry I am not really able to answer that question T^T

44. favorite scent for soap? birch-tree!!! IDK if you ever heard of Grandmother Agafia Siberian natural Black soap, but that’s the best soap ever, trust me.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Melon? Or Watermelon? Bc they are round??? :D

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “My grandmother once told me, ‘Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.‘” — Leigh Ann Lunsford

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Uh, that’s silly, but my sister when she was like.. 5 grabbed an onion and started eating it like an apple... Her face was showing pure disgust, but asked about it she said “yummy”, and she kept eating like it was nothing. I never laughed harder in my whole life

51. current stresses? Few days ago it was still exam session. Right now.. I guess I’m free of worries. I mean, there are some family issues, but I’m aware that I can’t do anything about them, so I try not to worry about it

55. favorite fairy tale? Last unicorn ♥️

56. favorite tradition? It’s not official tradition, but every year I spend exam session in my friend house. We learn together, watch movies while eating and play some games sometimes. I love that little tradition of us. It helps me not panic as much as I would if I were alone at this time.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Uh... Getting over my dead mom, getting over my ex that meant everything to me and... finally getting over my fear of doctors and visiting psychiatrist ♥️

58. four talents you’re proud of having? hahahhah...oh, your serious? Hm... Making people laugh, cooking, taking care of plants and... patience... if you can call it a talent

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I just hope it would be made by studio Ghibli ♥️

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? ~Same as 49

64. favorite website from your childhood? Hmm... I mean... Every website that had online games were good for me then lmao

65. any permanent scars? Yeah.. there are plenty. Some are made by me in my stupid age, some of them not. Eg. there is one that  got as child bc i was running and didn't notice a barrier, so I just hit it witch my chin. Or A big one covering my whole right knee, bc I leaned it against heated oven... There are too much of them to talk about all of them.

66. favorite flower(s)? Succulents. Technically not flowers, but I don't care. If it has to be a flower it’s cauliflower bc it’s delicious ^^

67. good luck charms? Black Cats and lots of craws. Also cats, not only black.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Liver

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? That a sandwich always lands on the side of butter :<

70. left or right handed? Right handed

72. worst subject? Geography~

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Fries with milkshake

83. writing or drawing? Both, I couldn't choose one

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? Cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? I’m not afraid any more

88. your greatest wish? To finally finish studding on an university, find a stable job and live with my love and my cats happy ever after. Or just with cats. But the most important thing is to end this studies. It makes me wanna die

89. who would you put before everyone else? My best friend I guess? She is very important person to me.

90. luckiest mistake? Meeting my boyfriend.

96. desktop background? Right now that Nami fanart

Thank you for all the questions ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

[whatmack]

“Being attracted to people is exhausting” man Neil mood. Big mood XD I love mattneil

how can neil have energy for ROMANCE when there is EXY

Theair changes once they’re closed inside Matt’s truck (a different one from hisPalmetto days, but no less beloved). Neil knots his hands together in his lapand stares out the window. He can’t stop remembering that this is a date. He’s on a date, a real, physicaldate, with Matt. His best friend Matt. He’s on a date with him. Matt.  A date. For romance and stuff.It’s so much bigger than their Skype dates. Neil wants to open the door andleap out onto the highway. It’s survivable if you know it’s coming. The shirt Matt is wearing has a deep vee down the front, exposing the long lineof his neck. Whenever Neil turns to answer a question or make a comment, he’sovercome with the desire to find out how it feels under his lips. Thinkingabout wanting someone other than Andrew is weird enough, and Neil has hadmonths. Actually doing something about it might give his central nervous systemthe final excuse to tap out.

Mattpulls them into the parking lot of a bistro that has an alarmingly elegantspray of poppies carved into its sign-front. Warning bells sound inside Neil’shead as Matt leads him through exposed-grain wooden tables and couples incollared shirts and pretty dresses. His casual getup marks him instantly as anoutsider. Neil dodges the judgmental glances, curling his shoulders anddropping his gaze to the floor to be as invisible as possible.They get to a small counter at the back that turns out to be the cash register,hidden so as not to offend delicate sensibilities. Matt chats easily with thecashier and is soon handed two large paper bags, receipt attached marking themas take-out. Neil nearly sinks to the floor in relief. He keeps his legs steadyout of sheer will.A childish lisp breaks him out of his thoughts: “Mommy, look at the man withthe scars.” A haggard mother tries frantically to silence her child at anearby table, darting fearful glances up at Neil. She’s not distressed at herchild’s rudeness, Neil realizes, just afraid that he’s heard them. Neilstraightens his spine and bores his eyes into her plastic smile, keeping hisface still and staring much longer than social norms would dictate. Her palemouth turns down. Her son has no such compunctions.“Guy! Guy! What happened to your face?” He points to both his cheeks, eyesbigger than the plate in front of him. “How did you get those?”

“Kidnappingchildren who ask too many questions,” Neil says, not dropping the mother’sgaze. She flinches and yanks her son close to her, but not before a peal oflaughter bursts from him, bouncing off the exposed decorative rafters.Matt is beside him, takeout bags in one hand, the other rising to restproprietary at the small of Neil’s back. “Do we have a problem?” He’s smilingat the mother, and for once—Neil didn’t know it was possible—the expressionholds no warmth.Neil has to give the hostess his respect. It’s the fastest he’s ever beenushered out of a restaurant.

They don’t get back in the truck. Instead, Matt steers Neil across and down ahandful of the city’s long blocks, chatting idly. Neil memorizes the pattern inthe automatic back of his mind. It’s a warm evening, humid but not miserablyso, and people on the street nod instinctively to Matt’s general aura of charm.His hand remains on Neil’s back the whole time, pressing lightly to guide him.It’s something Andrew does when he’s feeling possessive, but not in public. Neilhas always liked the way it makes him feel taken care of.They stop to buy cups of lemonade from a dinky stand (the “best in the city,”Matt proclaims. Neil takes charge of the bags of take-out while Matt fishes forhis wallet), and then they’re tramping through the close-cropped grass of apark, dodging picnickers and other (other!) couples. A frisbee arcs through theair towards them, and Matt catches it one handed, laughing and calling out tothe children tossing it while he sends it back. His easy athleticism makes Neil’sskin burn under his collar.Expecting to be out in the open, Neil is pleasantly surprised when Matt ducksaround an intentionally arranged copse of trees and crouches to put thelemonade cups down behind a hedge. He motions for Neil to sit beside him andhand over the bags.“I was worried this spot would be taken,” Matt says, pulling out napkins and Styrofoamcontainers. “I found it last summer, but I can’t have been the only one. Look.”He points with a plastic fork through a gap in the hedge, and Neil squints tosee an outdoor amphitheater, concrete steps dotted with clusters of sunhattedpeople.“There’s a concert?” Neil has, in the past years, gained somewhat of a passionfor live music. It is as much of a shock to him as anyone else. He blamesKevin.“Most nights, once it’s warm enough. The sound carries decently well to here,and the important part is you can eat as messy as you want and nobody else cansee you.” Matt nudges Neil and passes over one of the containers. The hedge and the trees block them from the rest of the park, enclosing them ina small bower of greenery. On the stage in the amphitheater Neil can see thesound crew taping wires and gesturing to microphones. Matt leans against a treetrunk, leaving space for Neil to curl beside him but letting him decide whetherhe wants to or not.He understands Neil so well. Neil’s fingernails make dents in the Styrofoam.He has to swallow rapidly.“Eat that before it gets cold,” Matt says through a mouthful of food, and thelump recedes from Neil’s throat. He crawls to slump against Matt, heedless ofthe grass stains he’s getting on his jeans, and opens the container to find alarge, crusty-breaded sandwich and a cup of sauerkraut.  “Because your taste in food should be acriminal offense,” Matt says.“Won’t be the only thing criminal about me,” Neil says, elbowing Matt’sstomach. Matt yelps and nearly overturns his own, much less cabbage-y dinner.

It’snot the most comfortable place to be. Roots dig into Neil’s ass, and the drygrass is prickly even through his clothing. He keeps on the lookout for ants.The sandwich is too good to sacrifice to them, as is, true to Matt’s promise,the lemonade. They use every single one of the paper napkins and need more.Neil rubs his sticky hands on the grass, and Matt unselfconsciously sucksdipping sauce off of his fingertips. It’s an action he’s done a hundred timesbefore. This time Neil is allowed to stare.A four-person band takes the stage. Neil misses their name and half the lyrics.The drumbeat thuds up his hipbones to control the pulse of his heart. He closeshis eyes and wiggles into Matt’s lap, listening, feeling the sweat make theirt-shirts stick together. Dusk turns to twilight turns to the fluorescent brightnessof a city night.“I was worried you were going to take me somewhere with white tablecloths. Ortuxedos. Or chandeliers,” Neil says. He wraps the flap of Matt’s jacket tighteraround him. He’d stolen it after sundown had turned the gentle breeze to chill.That is, after all, why Matt has brought it.Matt chafes Neil’s arms. “Give me more credit, c’mon.” He pauses, and Neil canhear him thinking, so he waits. “Would that be…absolutely horrible?”The band finishes their last (no really, their last) encore to the scatteredapplause of the visible audience. There’s the shrieking of feedback as theybegin to pack up, the crew reappearing to monitor the band’s abuse of theequipment. Neil uses the time to figure out how to put his words in an orderthat makes sense.“I don’t get it,” he finally says. Matt’s legs shift under him, tipping Neilinto the crease, and Neil grabs Matt’s shoulder to stay upright as Matt leansback to look at him. “Why does anyone do that stuff? If you care about eachother, it shouldn’t matter.”Matt takes a while to answer. “When I was a kid,” he says, slowly, “I used towatch a lot of those—pirate movies, knights, cowboys…where it was all about thegood men and chivalry and beating the bad guys and winning over the fair lady.And Mom wasn’t…she was busy, but there were a couple months when she had donesomething to her elbow, and she read a whole book of Arthurian legends to me.It was the most time I’d ever spent with her all at once.” He traps Neil’sankle in the circle of his fingers; unties his shoelace when Neil kicks at him.“I guess I thought that that was what it would be like, for me. Stupid, I know.”He tips back, taking  Neil with him sothey’re sprawled on the grass. Neil is grateful to have Matt’s cushioningbetween him and the rocky soil.“Everyone’s stupid when they’re a kid,” Neil says.Matt laughs weakly. Neil can feel it rumbling against him, like the musicearlier. “Yeah. Anyway then I moved in with Dad and it didn’t. Happen likethat, I mean. I think the most romantic thing that happened to me was one timea guy made edibles that were m&m cookies because he knew those were myfavorite. And that was only because he thought I’d suck him off. When I got toPalmetto, I wanted…I think I want to be the one to make it better for otherpeople, you know? It doesn’t have to be like that, but it can. And not just toget someone to put out, or as a trick, or whatever. When I was younger I wantedit to mean something. I guess I still do.”Neil digests that, lying on Matt’s chest, Matt’s arms clasped around his waistas they look up at the sky through the shadowed branches. The city lights aretoo bright to see any stars, but Neil knows where they are. “Do people reallydo that?” He asks. “Have sex with someone because they’re nice to them, or givethem things?”“I don’t remember,” Matt says.Neil flips himself so he’s kneeling with his legs on either side of Matt’s,hand resting on the ground beside his head. With two fingers he traces Matt’snose, his cheek, the swoop of his browbone and the delicate skin of hiseyelids. He is so much bigger than Neil; Neil forgets he was built on ascracked a foundation as the rest of them. Neil wants to kill every singleperson that made Matt have to be strong.“Can I kiss you now?” Matt asks in the breath between them.“Do it,” Neil says, and leans forward first.Matt’s lips do not feel appreciably different from Andrew’s. Slightly fuller,perhaps, but just as soft. Neil goes down on his forearms as Matt’s palms pressagainst his spine, urging him closer. How long Matt has been waiting, Neil doesnot know; Matt does not rush him, keeps the kiss soft, pressing and easingagainst him in waves. Only when Neil tugs at the back of his neck does Mattroll them over so he can pin Neil to the ground with his mouth. Neil can’tfeel the roots with the weight of Matt’s hips on his. His heart is a wellspring, and Matt keeps adding water.“I would try it,” he says against Matt’s lips. “Thetablecloths and chandeliers. If that’s what you want. You can explain it to me.”“We’ll talk about it,” Matt promises, and kisses him again.

Can u believe Matt KISSED Neil after Neil ate sauerkraut…..what a mans

(No they did not fuckin a city park, Matt is a Gentleman)

[rewrentless]

Taz Balance Quotes

I have no idea how long ive been working on this, between 2 and 7 months but finally ive made a list of memorable quotes /quotes that made me chuckle

-Any you driads down to clown

-That was my grandfathers haunch

-Everyone needs a barry bluejeans!

-You shouldnt had your dog jump up my ass! I dont think my dog could fit in an ass! You havent seen this ass

-Eat me barry

-If you were making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you dropped some jelly on the counter are you gonna take a knife and just start cutting at it you dumb son of a bitch??

-she thinks my tractors sexy and i think im no longer welcome here

-hello hello welcome to my caev

-abraca fuck you

-hey you calm the fuck down sir theres no yelling at fantasy Costco!

-its like a bag of holding but for ass

-merle i can see 3/4 to 4/5 of your entire butt

-the railsplitter passes through the tree like a baseball bat passing through a ghost

-youve solved my shrek puzzle

-a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word i have to attend to their every need and that word is my fucking name jenkins

-infinite bean!!!

-i got a murder wall in my brain!

-time-pon! The time travelling tampon!

-lord steven q fletcher esquire the goldfish the third

-'yeah he really beat me in a test of wits and wagers' and winks at taako over and over just winking

- hey baby i love your tendrils

-i got here a few minutes ago and i can not take my eyes off you i looked at you across the square 60 feet away and i said do not be chopping on this baby

-you and the box both drink poison and you survive but the box has died. With that the box pops open

-does everyone get that i have an elevator fetish at this point?

-griffen we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20!

-my names not jerry its ... jerrieeeeee

-but listen guys now i gotta take a poop, you know like a poop like a real emergent poop

-'your name ... of course ... is... taako. Sike thats just mine say my name!' i cast magic missile

-so youre sayin we eat him

-youre all beautiful butterflake snowflies

-im actually a mongoose meow

-and inside the envelopes there is  200 gold pieces  ‘thanks for these shitty jangly envelopes’

-i hand her a coupon for one free backrub

-magnus this is the nightmare scenario

-hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie

-i made you guys chairs for your new digs and if you lift up the cushion it doubles as an indoor toilet

-davenport read the room!

-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm davenport

-i start to very subtly and very easily cry

-last time i was in an elevator vines tried to eat my dick

-the late merle highchurch rolled a 5

-’youre a god!’ I definately am

-youre not stupid youre beautiful

-its kinda ridiculous how many pies we got our toes in

-your mother would swaddle you young taako baby taako and just sing to you oh shit sweet flip oh dip sweet flip my little nugget

-god liiiieed to me

-magnus can kiss my kenny chesney tattoo

-you found her?!

-hey thug whats your name im about to tentacle your dick?

-if travis cant move his legs then i shall create his legs!

-im just an elevator climb on in ma belly!

-press ma buttons from inside a me

-if you wanted to lure me in there you shoulda stayed handsome ma fella

-'i tap it with the gluttons fork and i swallow it' 'what the f uck'

-ive got to switch between different accents to trick my prey

-when that day comes little man oh when that day comes i will summon whatever powers i still have at my disposal that you have not sipphoned away from me and i will take all of my canny and all of my cunning and all arcanas still within my reach and i will use it to strike you down little man

-dungeons and dragons and daddies

-fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts!

-i cast zone of truth!

-junebug

-this chair smells like grandmas

-this scene is memorable to you now but in the moment you werent thinking im going to remember everything about this moment

-inifate bag of boys

-if it had flesh then it would be a bag of skin full of fucking goo

-"how do you not have a six it comes with every board game?" "My daughter..." "eats them for power??"

-because in wonderland... there is no healing (shit eating grin)

-liches get stitches

-son of a lich

-you built the fucking door out of wood shit wood

-bad luck

-ill be having my body back you undead fuck

-sturdy. denim. and blue

-i have updated my list of people i trust and things i believe to no one and nothing

-those are the arms that have held my wife

-i cant fight i cant protect i cant do anything in this body

- i saw seven birds

-the twins, the lover, the protecter, the lonely journal keeper, the peacemaker and the wordless one

-i dont know but i feel like i trust you

-dont let them erase me magnus

-how could you forget lup

-nerd alert!

-greg grimaldis you owe me $15 and i aim to collect

-i have to believe that im gonna get those $15 back from greg fucking grimaldis

-the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of and its time

-I dont know about in love its only been... 21 years

-are you my friend?

-what brings me joy is... life. I think you can find joy anywhere in life i thibk its a concious choice i think you choose joy in life and no matter how bad things are no matter how crummy no matter how dark no matter how many times some guy named john kills your ass you find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, getting to know you. I’ve found joy playing chess with you. I have enjoyed - i haven’ t enjoyed you know, getting my ass killed, but i find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart, and I don’t always do a character voice, but whatever i do, i find joy in it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you got. It’s looking back on the joy you had, and the joy you found, and the joy you gave other people 

-soon you will call us ascendent

-kiss my ass you sanctimonious bastard

-huh. I feel sad

-its not perfect but its the best i can do

-our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people but too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favour of others and by the time we realize just how importnat it is we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with but the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had time all the time in the world time enough to grow indescribely close time enough to learn how to care for each other how to allow yourselves to be caref for and in the case of barry and lup time enough to fall deeply and truely in love

-there was romance in every measure and longing in every note

-have we not earned a little wrath?

-i made it

-you are my heart you know that right?

-sometimes there arent right decisions sometimes theres just decisions

-when someone leaves your life those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying others are abrupt and unfair but most are just unremarkable, unintentional clumsy

-back soon

-who?

-taako kill me

-you fucking took everything from me

-understand this, i have nothing and i don’t give a shit. The world is ending and i don’t care

-phantasmal and resplendent

-youre dating the grim reaper?!

-ill take one taco with extra destiny

-i tell the trees when to shed their leaves and i make every piece of fruit taste the way that it tastes and i taught every blade of grass in the ground where to grow did you really think i had forgotten about you?

-im not your pan but you will always be my merle

-i run over and im already kissing him this is ridiculous

-I want to warm up my face i dont want it to be cold and weird

-whats up ghostrider

-i met god no big deal

-lets save the world and 420 blaze it

-hear that babe? We’re legends

-youre going to have to fight and… youre gonna win!

-you hear it now too dont you? The song is now yours, just as the story has always been yours and with this final piece your understanding of these impossible events is complete. Like i said before, youre ready now, darkness surrounds you but be not afraid, after all youre going to win, we know that much but that is the limit of my knowledge. Youre all caught up now, whatever happens next, well, we’ll just have to find out together

-you boys know the best of the fantasy costo? Free samples

-we won

-youre going to be amazing

-it takes time as all difficult and important things do, for the world to recover from what was done to it that day. But it does recover, and not just that, it thrives. 

-im about to smooch your fucking brains out babe 

-one small criticism, i think you may have forgotten to make it taste good

-‘youre kinda full of dog shit sometimes’ thats what it was i forgot i did include dog shit

-i should mention my boyfriend is death

-if you will all excuse me i have… to shit

-i tried to make you proud

-we see you one last time as magnus rushes in

-even happier days were to come, because that was the world that you made, that was the ending you earned

[rueitae]

If you're taking those writing asks could you do June 1 with plance?

June 1 is ‘Canon’ and ‘Sharing a bed’. Crack concept turned angsty. Trending towards the platonic side, but there’s some hints of romantic feels in here. Thank you for the prompt! About 1100 words. Please enjoy.

Read on Ao3

~~~~~

Cow-parent Trapped

“Well this is a large, stinking pile of – “

Lance turns to glare at her. “Not in front of Kaltenecker!” he says as he covers the cow’s ears.

“– disaster,” Pidge finishes. “I was going to say disaster because that’s what this is.”

Her shoulders slump in dismay. In six hours she’s due to lead a meeting regarding the specs of the new sea vehicles.

Instead she’s still at the farm with Lance as he pets and tries to sweet talk an obstinate Kaltenecker from unblocking the only exit to the milking barn. Pidge’s tinted glasses show an analysis of the cow, nothing seems physically wrong with her, content to sit and moo at their every plea for her to move.

“I’m sorry, Pidge,” Lance says. “She doesn’t like the dark. She’s usually in her own barn by now.”

The last hints of light disappear from the cracks in the door, sending the former Paladins and their cow into darkness.

“So we’re actually going to let a cow hold us hostage right now?” she asks dryly.

She only sees him raise his hands in surrender through the night vision mode on her glasses. “I’m not going to make her go anywhere she doesn’t want to. Kaltenecker is very sensitive after all she’s gone through!”

We’ve all gone through a lot, Pidge thinks sadly. She isn’t worried about the meeting, not truly, despite her moans over being late. Right now she can’t help but read between the lines.

It’s difficult to forget Allura’s sacrifice on any given day, but especially with the anniversary almost upon them. Pidge has her family to help with the Defenders project, to keep her mind occupied each time she wonders what the vehicles would look like with Allura’s touch, what they would look like combined with Altean magic and what she would think of the Voltron legend continuing like this.

The passing of years does not make it easier. Hunk confides that he thinks about Allura every time he makes a milkshake for galactic dignitaries. Shiro asks leaders to consider what she would want every chance he gets. Keith will tell her story to anyone who will listen as he hands out food and blankets.

Lance will tell her story too, mostly within safer borders, to school groups and historians; one of them has to. He spends as much time with his family as he can. Pidge can hardly chastise him for it, not after what she went through to reunite her own family.

It weighs on him more than the rest of them, she can tell. Except for possibly Coran, but the older altean is far more practiced in concealing his feelings when he wants to. He has Altea to govern and occupy his mind.

They’ve all thrown themselves into work, just like their early days on the Castle, doing everything to keep from being overwhelmed with grief and homesickness.

Pidge wonders as she has her glasses zoom in on the bags under his eyes, are they taking care of each other enough?

“You look tired,” she says.

He stares and takes too long to answer, not bothering to deny it.

She grins instead. “Maybe Kaltenecker is just trying to look out for you, telling you to get more sleep. You saved her after all.”

“We saved her,” Lance corrects immediately.

A specific sort of happiness swells in her chest at the inclusion, the same feeling that occurs every time he praises her and boasts about her genius. While his words are objectively true, she is a genius after all, she drinks in the genuine admiration behind them.

“Come on,” she says with an outstretched hand, “animals are more keen to their surroundings than humans. If Kaltenecker thinks you need rest, you’d better listen.”

She tries not to smile too much when he takes it. “A hay bale isn’t the most luxurious bed,” he argues. “And don’t you have a meeting soon? You look nice, I’d hate if you got your hair and clothes all messed up.”

Pidge is glad it’s so dark and Lance can’t see the warmth in her cheeks. How does she explain it now, after everything they’ve gone through, that his friendship means more to her than she can express as      only     friends?

“We’ve both been through worse,” she teases. She frowns and squeezes his hand. “I know you’re hurting, and it’s okay. But please don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

He stares into her eyes, as if searching into her soul; something he did more often these days. Finally, he sandwiches her hand with his other and sighs dramatically.

“I’m going to need to make my masks for a solid week. It’s so gross in here. Marco was supposed to clean it today.”

With no warning - she barely manages a surprised ‘ahh!’ - Lance drags her back with him into a pile of hay. Strands puff out, landing on her nice green top and sticking to her bangs.

Lance has the audacity to laugh, though he’s in the same predicament next to her.

She lets him continue holding her hand.

“Thanks for today, Pidge,” he says, rolling his head to face her. “It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out like this. It was really nice, I needed it.”

“Too long,” she agrees. “And I’m never too busy for you Lance - or any of you!” she quickly corrects, but then smirks and shifts hastily to lay on her side. “Especially if you have peanut butter cookies and video games as bribes.”

“I’ll note that,” he teases with the brightest smile she’s seen from him in years. He sobers just as quickly though. “Thank you, Pidge. Seriously. I… still miss her.”

“We all do, Lance and we always will. But we’re here for each other when it feels the worst. We’re the Paladins of Voltron; we will always be connected, all of us.” Pidge means it. No matter where Allura is, she’s still a part of the universe. It’s all she can do to keep the memory of Olkarion alive.

He hugs her, wraps his arms around her shoulders as if desperate for contact. His tight squeeze is as good as a thank you.

Pidge reciprocates and soaks in the warmth of his body as she nestles into his chest. He sobs, wetting her hair with his tears. She fights back her own until she realizes there isn’t a point to.

If they can’t be a shoulder to cry on for each other, then what kind of arms of Voltron are they?

[brettbarker]

#candc english

For our first meal/food experience we learned+ what it would be like to have tea in England. Kathy Filby stopped by to talk to us about what traditional British tea time is like. Kathy is originally from Northern Ireland and spent time in England, so she has experienced tea time countless times. She explained to us the origin of tea itself going all the way back to the Chinese over 4,000 years ago. One thing that I learned and found very interesting was the fact that tea is only considered “tea” if it comes from a specific tree: The Camellia Sinensis. In the Chinese legend, it says that Emperor Shennong accidentally discovered tea when he was boiling water and leaves from the Camellia Sinensis tree fell into the pot. This is why it is so specific about what is actually considered “tea”. If it comes from something else it can still be called tea but it is not really legitimate tea. I just thought that any mixture of herbs and spices and leaves were considered tea and had no clue how specific it was. She then told us about the five different types of tea: Black, Green, White, Red, and Oolong tea. One of the most popular ones in England is black tea. She said that everyone drinks black tea. Since we are having an Irish breakfast tomorrow, she talked about Irish breakfast tea which is a black tea. There are many things I like about the cultural event in England that is “tea”. I really like how it is a time to relax and take a little break from your day. Kathy talked about how tea is the cure for everything. It doesn’t matter if you’re having a bad day, feeling homesick, or if you’re just tired, a cup of tea will always fix it and make you feel better. Another thing that she mentioned is that you basically can never refuse tea. If you say that you don’t want any, it basically means to the British that you are just being polite and you really do want one, so they’ll put the kettle on anyway. I would personally really enjoy the concept of tea here in America. It is definitely one of the British traditions that I wish we would’ve adopted, but sadly coffee is still supreme here in the States. I personally like both coffee and tea, but I think I like tea more. I do like how tea is in between each meal, usually two hours after the last one and two hours before the next one. This makes a lot of sense and it makes sure that you do not get hungry in between each meal. This is something I have a problem with as my metabolism is very high and i’m constantly hungry. This being said, tea is not just tea, there are snacks as well. Kathy talked about how they usually have little sandwiches and biscuits which are kind of like cookies to go along with the tea. We had scones and little cookies with our tea today. I had a chocolate scone which was very good and went well with the tea. I chose the Irish Breakfast tea and decided to put a little milk in it which is something I usually don’t do when I have tea. Overall, I really liked this experience. It was really cool to get to know the specific reasons and origins behind tea as it gave a bit more information as to why the British do this tradition almost every day. It really makes me want to experience it more often and hopefully I will be able to visit Great Britain someday to experience the real deal!

http://www.china.org.cn/learning_chinese/Chinese_tea/2011-07/15/content_22999489.htm 

#candc English

[dontshootmespence]

The Most Perfect Little Christmas Tree

A/N: Day 23! Ah! I decided to do an Elle x Reader because she needs some love this holiday season. In this piece, she and the reader have a 7 year old son, Morgan Reid Greenaway, who’s having a Christmas concert at school. Side note - The ending part of the story, with the decorated house, is true! There was a house by my childhood home that did it every year. :D

“Morgan!”

“Are you almost ready?”

Elle and Y/N called in unison as they buttoned each other’s coats and danced by their Christmas tree. It was time for the Hamilton Elementary School’s annual Christmas concert. 

Every year, each class would get up in front of the school and sing a few Christmas songs - some religious, some not - and they’d get all dressed up. The older kids would dress up in pretty dresses and suits, but the younger kids would really get into the holiday spirit, because they hadn’t been embarrassed into not being in costume just yet. Morgan was still at that perfect age. He was seven and had chosen to go as the Christmas tree, which meant that Y/N and Elle had done a lot of learning how to sew on YouTube.

“How do I look?” Morgan asked as he emerged from his room.

Their perfect little man. “You are the most perfect little Christmas tree that ever lived,” Elle said as she kissed him on the top of the head. 

Christmas time was their favorite time of year. Elle saved up all her vacation time so she could take off of work, allowing her not to entertain thoughts of serial killers and other nefarious human beings and Y/N didn’t have to freak out about whether or not she was doing right by the children in her own classroom. At this time of year, they could just watch their one and only little boy take in the joy of the season surrounded by friends, and family (aunts and uncles of the BAU included) who loved him more than anything. “You ready to go?” Y/N asked with a smile. 

“Yesssss,” Morgan replied. 

As he ran towards the car, both mothers made sure that he didn’t lose any of the ornaments he had hanging off him, carefully closing the car door behind him  as he reached into the front seat to turn on the Christmas station on Sirius XM. “Santa Claus is coming to town!” He sang at the top of his lungs.

“Buckle up, little man,” Elle said before she pulled out of the driveway. 

On the way to the concert, Morgan regaled his mothers with what he was hoping Santa would get him for Christmas. Thankfully, there was no late-minute addition to the list, so they were in the clear. Elle and Y/N had already bought him everything he wanted under the guise of Santa Claus. He was already seven, so both of them were well aware that their son wasn’t going to buy the whole Santa bit for that much longer. That’s why these little moments of Christmas magic mattered so much. Being a child was a joy that most didn’t realize until it was gone; they were going to do everything in their power to make sure the memories were worth growing up so fast. “We’re here!” Y/N shouted. “All ready?”

Morgan replied proudly. “Yup!”

“Mom and I will be taping you, so sing loud and proud okay?” 

“I will! Bye Mom! Bye Mama!”

After watching him rush into the building and backstage with his friends and classmates, the proud parents walked hand-in-hand to their seats, where every other eager parent was waiting for the star of the show. Although the star was Morgan...obviously. 

One by one, the classes came out to sing their songs. Since the elementary school went from pre-kindergarten to grade 5, the school went by alternating years until they got to the middle - Pre-K first, then Fifth Grade and so on and so forth, which meant that Morgan’s class didn’t go until very last. 

The really little ones were perfectly off key, but it didn’t matter because parents were beaming. The older ones did an amazing job and looked very dapper at the same time. Occasionally, Elle decided to record a song, just because it sounded nice, or a friend’s child happened to be in a particular class, but for the most part she saved the battery power for their son. 

“Last but certainly not least at our concert this year, are the lovely second graders,” the principal said. 

The “cheering squad” for his class went wild, Elle and Y/N included. Both mothers stood up proudly and clapped as hard as they could. The kids really all did look great. There were kids dressed as presents, and kids dressed as animals from the famous nativity play, others were dressed as ornaments and lights, and even a menorah, but there was only one tree. 

Each class had three songs to sing and they always chose the songs by popular vote. This year their three songs were O Holy Night, Up on the Rooftop and Ner Li, a Hanukkah song popular in Israel. “He seems like he really enjoys singing,” Elle said, squeezing Y/N’s hand as they finished up their last song.

He really does. “Maybe he’ll join choir in junior high.”

Elle leaned into Y/N’s shoulder. “He said he wants to. And he said he wants to join chess club and football too because he wants to be able to do something that both his namesakes can practice with him.” 

Y/N could’ve cried. She couldn’t wait to tell Derek and Spencer that. When the class hit their final notes, the room erupted into applause. Not even five minutes later, all the kids from every class came barreling out to meet their parents. “How did I do Mom? Mama?”

Y/N and Elle picked Morgan up off the ground and gave him one of their trademarked sandwich kisses, squishing his cheeks in between their red-stained lips. “Amazing! What do you wanna do now?”

Morgan’s eyes lit up as he looked towards the door to the parking lot. “Can we go through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and get hot chocolate and munchkins and then go look at all the houses around the neighborhood all decorated with lights?”

“That sounds perfect,” Y/N replied. “Do you want to take off your costume so you won’t be a tree anymore?”

Morgan giggled and reached toward the back of the costume where the zipper was. “But what about a jacket?”

“We already thought of that,” Elle laughed. “It’s in the trunk!” 

“Yes!”

Morgan waved a quick goodbye to his friends as he ran to the car, with Elle and Y/N close behind. Once in the car, mothers and son turned up the heat. blasted some more Christmas music and drove towards Dunkin Donuts, but on the way they passed a house they’d never seen before. “OH! Can we stop there first?” He asked. The lights from the house were illuminating the surrounding area, reflected in their son’s dark brown eyes. 

As they rounded the corner, a two-story house halfway down the block decorated from head-to-toe in lights. They burst from the windows and stood up on the roof, covered the lawn and ran all the way up the trees. Beyond lights were blow-up creatures - The Grinch, Santa, Rudolph, Spongebob, Frosty. There were nearly 30 of them strewn about the lawn, porch and roof of the house. “This house is awesome,” Morgan said under his breath. 

“I think so too,” a deep voice said from beside them. Approaching from the left was a jolly looking man with a long white beard and a red velvet suit. “Santa!” Morgan cried, running up to the man and wrapping his arms around his giant belly. 

Elle looked toward the corner and realized what street they were on. This family was a legend. It was a little out of their way, which is why they hadn’t seen it before, but they’d heard about it. The Kringles, no joke, would always put up an insane Christmas display and the husband would occasionally dress up as Santa and say hello to passing kids. He’d even pass out hot cocoa. Y/N whispered ‘Morgan’ to the man. “Have you been a good boy this year, Morgan?”

“You know my name! Yes I have!” 

“What do you want most for Christmas this year?”

“A scooter!”

Elle nodded softly to Mr. Kringle. They had it covered.

“I think I can do that for you. Would you like some hot cocoa Morgan? Maybe your mothers would like some too.”

“Yes, please!” 

In the garage stood Mrs. Kringle, pouring hot cocoa and passing out chocolate chip cookies. Elle, Y/N and Morgan all sipped their drinks as they walked around the outside of the house a little bit more. Once they were finished, Morgan thanked Mr. and Mrs. Kringle for the drinks and cookies, promising he’d leave some of his own cookies for him in return. 

“Can we look at some more lights?” He asked.

“Sure, baby,” Y/N said, getting back into the passenger’s seat. 

Only three blocks later, Elle whispered to Y/N. “He’s asleep already.”

All the Christmas cheer tuckered him out.

@unstoppableangel8​​​​ @coveofmemories @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @reddie-for-mileven @original-criminal-fanfics @lookwhatyoumademequeue @rt8815 @amarislestrange @sarahkay-19 @bagelsofdoom @xxfeelmylovexx @psychoticantisepticeye @bitchinprentiss @dsgirl4987 @captainreid @teatimewithtiya @queenanneslace4 @the-awesome-one-with-pigtails @tippy06 @ultrarebelheart @static-001 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @dependsonthering

[redditnosleep]

The Echo In The Well

by bad-samantha

I met Alex on the first day of kindergarten twenty four years ago. He pulled up my dress on the playground and I punched him in the nose. By the time our parents came to pick us up from the principal’s office, it was too late; the damage was done and we were already inseparable. There’s a picture of us, Alex’s arm around my shoulder, a little blood still staining the front of his shirt. I keep it beside my bed in a tacky picture frame covered in hearts.

It felt like a miracle when our cars followed each other nearly all the way home. I waved to Alex in front of his house, thrilled to know my new best friend only lived two streets away.

We ran wild through our childhood but we always ran together. In summer, shoes became a thing of the past, a convention we were sure our mothers forced on us only to make us slow down and to rob us of the feeling of grass under our feet and the splash of creeks on hot days. We eventually agreed to wear shoes in the winter after the time that Alex’s toes turned so blue that his parents took him to the hospital to make sure it wasn’t frostbite. Lessons learned.

So rarely were we indoors that it baffled our parents when, every day at four o’clock, we made our way into Alex’s house. It wasn’t to sneak snacks or change out toys. It was the time that Alex’s grandmother woke from her afternoon nap. If we took just the right steps, then she would tell us stories—and not the kind of stories our parents read us at night. They were the kind that get whispered on the school bus, stuff of legends, rarely with a happy ending.

We were practically Pavlovian about it. Some part of us knew the moment their grandfather clock was chiming four, no matter how far away we were. We sprinted, knowing the water for tea had to be boiling before his grandmother made it into the kitchen, that a teabag should already be resting in her mug (always a powder blue one with tiny white flowers). A plate of cookies or sandwiches should be sitting on the middle of the table, though she wouldn’t touch them and would insist that we ate them all.

As for us, our hands should be washed, scrubbed completely clean including under our nails. Our hair should be tidied and we should be sitting at the table waiting for her. If all of those conditions were met, we always got a story. Always. She never seemed to care if we were wearing shoes, though.

This went on for years. Alex and I were convinced that his grandmother knew every story that was ever told and that she kept them all in her head. We came up with dozens of reasons why she couldn’t write them down, all of which were spoiled when we learned that she was writing them down. They were collected in a leather binder, each written in her perfect penmanship, learned in a time where that actually mattered. There was an offer made by one of us, I can’t remember who, to type them, and it was immediately refused.

“There’s some magic in ink and paper,” she told us, nodding at the book and patting it fondly with one hand. When she died, the book was the only thing Alex asked for—but I’m getting ahead of myself.

We were nine when Grandma Aileen told us the story of the Echo. Sitting around the table, with dirt on our knees but not a speck on our hands, we ate cookies while she sipped her tea and thrilled and terrified us in equal measure.

“Your uncle Conor met an Echo.” She paused and considered Alex, searching his face. “You look so much like he did as a boy. Same nose, same cheeks. Almost an echo yourself.” I thought this was great news, to learn that there had been another Alex in the world, but Grandma Aileen wasn’t smiling.

“I don’t know uncle Conor.” Alex and I had gone through the books of his family pictures many times, trying to find the people from Grandma Aileen’s stories, sometimes finding them, sometimes failing, and nearly always making up a story of our own.

“No, you wouldn’t now, would you? People who meet an Echo don’t often live long enough to meet their nieces and nephews.” There was something about the way she said the word Echo that made it more of a name than a word. “Our mother had warned us about Echoes, so there was no reason things had to end so sadly. But Conor…he had a streak of wild in that ran so deep our mother couldn’t scrub it out no matter how hard she tried.”

“Conor had to test things, prove them to himself. Our oldest brother told him that an Echo lived in the well of the neighbor’s farm and right away Conor began making plans to go and see it. I came along because…because someone had to come.” I nodded solemnly at that, understanding completely. Many times I’d followed Alex on a bad idea simply because someone had to follow. It was the way things were.

“When we got to the well, Conor started by dropping in a stone. It seemed to fall forever before it splashed into the water. We both listened, hearing the splash of water resound inside. Conor’s face turned impish, convinced already of the Echo from that simple sound. ‘Hello!’ he called down and the sound of his voice came back up to us in triplicate. ‘Hello, hello, hello!’” Grandma Aileen shiver and took a long sip of her tea as though it could warm her up.

“I put my hand over my mouth. Mother had told us that we must never reply to an echo once we knew it was there. Starting a conversation is a dangerous thing, because once you’ve started, there’s no one to know when it will end. I wasn’t willing to risk making a sound that the Echo could use against me, but Conor sneered. ‘Don’t be a baby, Aileen. There’s nothing down there but water and rocks. See?’ He leaned over the side as the answer floated back up to him. ‘I see, I see, I see.’”

“I wanted to say something then, but my hand was still over my mouth. Conor’s eyes grew large, realizing his mistake. He put his hand over his own mouth and motioned for me to follow him as he ran home. Never in my life have I run as fast as I did that day, chasing after him, plowing through the front door. We nearly knocked down our mother, wrapping around her legs as though we were much younger than we were. She wiped away tears and when we had calmed down enough to speak, Conor opened his mouth.”

“But no sound came out…not from his mouth, at least. Instead, from the sink, came words. ‘He’s mine, he’s mine, he’s mine.’”

“Mother went pale. I never understood that expression until I saw the color drain from her face completely, until she was as white as the sheets she used to starch. She clapped her own hand over Conor’s mouth. ‘Did you speak to it, Aileen?’ She looked at me so fiercely that I still didn’t dare to speak and only shook my head instead of answering. She nodded once and pulled my brother closer to her, staring into his eyes.

“‘You fool of a boy. You’ve done it now.’ If you couldn’t see the tears in her eyes, you would have thought she was furious with him. My poor brother was trembling head to toe. There was nothing to be done for him though. Everywhere he went, every time he opened his mouth to speak he had no words. Answers would often come from other places though, in a voice that sounded something like his.”

“For ten years, Conor lived that way. He rarely slept, the Echo keeping him up all night. Many nights it was so loud it kept the whole house awake, pressing pillows over our heads to try to muffle the slimy voice. He stopped having meals with us, hating how everyone winced each time he opened his mouth for food and the Echo spoke instead.”

“On his eighteenth birthday, Conor threw himself into the well. I was there, because someone had to be. He hugged me and I kissed his cheek, but we didn’t speak. Once the water splashed, a voice rose up, nearly singing. ‘Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!’ I wiped the tears from my face and didn’t say a word until I got home.”

Alex and I sat for a moment, chewing our cookies and thinking over the story. It wasn’t the first one that ended grimly and it wouldn’t be the last, I was sure. Grandma Aileen finished her tea, patted our heads as we still sat in silence and went back into her bedroom.

In true eight year old fashion, Alex and I didn’t discuss what we’d heard. We cleaned up the tea and the cookies and went back out to play. But we didn’t answer echoes.

We grew up, as all children tend to do, and though we didn’t miss our four o’clock dates with Grandma Aileen, they stopped being stories and started being conversations. Those afternoons were still a treasure, one neither of us would have traded for the world. Eventually, after years of annoyance and insisting to everyone that a boy and girl could just be friends, we realized that’s not all we wanted to be. We started dating when we were thirteen and never stopped. One four o’clock time, Alex asked Grandma Aileen if he could have her engagement ring. She scolded him for asking in front of me, but gave it over all the same.

I still wear it.

Grandma Aileen died when we were away at college. Sometimes I think she would have held on if we had stayed closer, but Alex always told me it wasn’t fair to torture myself with thoughts like that. I know that he was right. The book of stories came to live in our home, the book we didn’t know existed. She dedicated it to us, and to the children she thought we would one day have.

On our honeymoon, we visited Italy. In front of a beautiful fountain, Alex declared he’d love me forever.

“Forever, forever, forever.” The fountain echoed back his words and made him smile.

“That’s right,” he agreed and we both knew his mistake in an instant.

Alex never spoke again. Still, we wanted a baby. It was miserable making love while that slimy version of his voice bounced off the walls around us. Alex held on long enough to see our child born, a sweet and perfect boy. We named him Conor.

Whenever Conor would fall asleep, that voice would come, loud and harsh and wake the baby, sending him into a fit of tears that broke both our hearts. It was Alex’s choice to go, and I kissed him goodbye and held onto him so long that he had to pull himself out of my arms. He walked through the door and I became a widow and a single mother at the age of 26.

Conor is almost three now and very smart. I tell him stories every day, the ones from the book. I’ll make sure he believes them all, I’ll make sure that he’s smarter than we were. I’ll make sure that he never answers an Echo.

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Split Heart Pt. 1

Pairing: AU Bucky x Reader, Reader x Wanda x Natasha x Clint (friendship)

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Reader and her friends are invited to a college party by an older student.

Warnings: Abusive home situation (nothing too detailed), some swearing, underage Reader (no smut, but still), underage drinking.

A/N: While this is very much a Bucky x Reader, the friendship between Reader and the others is just as important throughout. Buck introduced in pt. 2.

Next >>

People always told you high school was hell, but only now were you starting to believe it. Though your best friend ended up going to a different school, your freshman year had gone way better than expected; you made new friends, your classes were interesting (mostly), and your teachers were likable enough. Just a few weeks into your sophomore year, you were ready for it to end. Still, you looked forward to seeing your friends, even if you could only speak to them for about an hour throughout the school day.

You were leaving math, your first class of the day, and headed toward the English building. Outside your classroom, were your friends Nat and Clint, making out. Cursing Wanda for not getting there first, you approached and leaned against the wall beside them, only being seen when they came up for air.

“Y/N!” Clint greeted cheerfully, lips tinted pink from Nat’s lipstick.

She turned quickly and pulled you into a hug, despite having spoken to you before first period. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, not liking to make her friends uncomfortable.

“It’s fine, I just got here and I’m super tired. Math suuucked today,” you tried to play it off, and luckily Wanda came at that moment.

“Hey everyone!” she chirped. Everyone said hello, and you all made your way into the classroom. “So what are you guys gonna want for lunch today?”

“Don’t hate me,” Natasha began. “but I’m feeling one of those grilled chicken burgers. What about you?”

Clint pecked her cheek. “I could go for that. Ladies?” he turned to you and Wanda.

“Hmm, cheese fries.” Wanda’s stomach rumbled at the thought.

“I want a sub.” The local place that supplied the sandwiches to your school was really good, so you often opted for one when someone else was getting something from the snack bar.

Clint typed the order into his phone, and looked up as the bell rang. You all took your seats, and made funny faces at each other to stay awake through the teacher’s droning on Julius Caesar. When class was over, you went your separate ways, saying you’ll see each other at lunch. History didn’t seem as long due to the pop quiz you were given, which you thankfully passed, and you were ready to head to the quad for lunch.

The bell rang and you ran out, swerving around people in the cramped hall. Considering your history class was pretty far from the quad, you were glad to make it to the chip cabinet before the line got too long. You asked for the usual four bags, and headed to the grassy spot you’d claimed for the year to wait for the others. Unable to help yourself, your eyes wandered to a group of freshmen sitting in an area left vacant by some of the previous year’s graduating seniors.

“Hey,” Wanda called as she sat beside you. “You ok?” she asked, handing you a bottle of water and taking a bag of chips.

“Yeah,” you smiled unhappily. “It’s still weird looking over and not seeing him, but I’m fine.”

“Ooh are we brooding over Rhodey, again?” Clint teased as he approached. “Don’t worry, you’ll find another senior to not talk to and pine over soon enough.”

“Shut up!” you covered your face with one hand in embarrassment while using the other to throw his chips at him.

Clint laughed, handing you and Wanda your lunches. “Woah! How’d you get our food so fast?” he asked Natasha as she handed him a burger and a bag of accompaniments. It was a well known fact that the burgers were the best thing offered by the school, but they took a long time to make.

“I may or may not have told Mr. Coulson I was having lady issues and needed to use the bathroom five minutes before the bell,” she smiled deviously. “I was first in line.”

You all sat around and pulled out the stuff you brought from home to split. Wanda handed out juice boxes, Clint fruit snacks, Nat cookies, and you brought cheese crackers. You all learned fast during your freshman year that if you actually wanted time to eat, you had to split up and get something for everyone. Thus, you were designated the chips, Wanda bottled water, and Nat and Clint the actual food.

Wanda was in the middle of telling you what Pietro and his rival turned best friend, Peter M., had gotten up to at her house when she was interrupted by an older student.

“Sorry to barge in guys!” she smiled apologetically.

“Hey Sharon,” you all greeted in unison. Sharon was a senior Clint had met in his archery class the previous year, and though she wasn’t technically your friend, she was more than just an acquaintance, being president of your community service club.

“You guys remember my cousin Peggy?” she asked. You all nodded, though none of you had ever met her. She smiled and waved at you once when she caught you looking her way. You hoped she didn’t realize you were looking at her friend, James Rhodes. Still, she seemed nice enough, and she had a reputation for being awesome and whip smart. Hearing her cousin had taken over club duties was what prompted you to join this year. “Well, she’s friends with Tony Stark, and he’s throwing a huge party at his place tonight. I wanted to invite you guys.”

Tony Stark was a legend at your school. He graduated a couple of years before you even started there, but people still felt like they knew him through the legacy he left behind. Even at SHIELD, the best university this side of the country, he’d made a name for himself during his first year.

“On a Thursday?” Clint asked incredulously, making Sharon snort.

“I know, right? But apparently that’s the way to go since everyone has parties on Friday and Saturday. Anyway, I hope to see you guys there!” She handed you a paper with a simple map to Tony’s and waved before heading back to her friends.

“Oh my god!” Wanda squealed. “I just got invited to my first college party!” She looked at the others, eyes dancing with excitement. “You guys are gonna go, right?”

Natasha shrugged, “I’m in.”

“Me too,” Clint nodded. All eyes turned to you then.

“You guys know my dad won’t let me,” you grumbled. “He barely lets me go to the movies with you guys during the day.”

“Not even if we just say it’s a sleepover?” Wanda asked hopefully, though already knowing the answer.

You shook your head slowly. “I’m sorry. If it’s not a school organized thing, he’ll say no.”

“Wait a minute,” Clint got a far off look in his eyes. “Is your dad still on rotating shifts?”

“Yeah.”

“So if my calculations are right, he should be working the night shift right now, right? How long is that?”

“From 9pm to 5am…” you grinned.

“Perfect!” Wanda hugged you. “We just need to make sure you’re back by then! Your mom won’t notice, will she?” she asked, suddenly concerned.

You were beginning to get giddy. “No, she should be in bed by then.”

“Ok, so we’ll wait until nine to pick you up, just in case. You get ready, climb out your window and go out through the side gate. We’ll be parked a few houses down.” Natasha laid out the plan, and though you were excited, you were scared, too. Your dad would tear your hide if he ever found out. “I think I’m gonna wear my blonde wig…” she said, pulling you out of your thoughts. “and go by Alianovna for the night. What about you guys?”

Everyone started laughing, but it really wasn’t a bad idea since you were all still quite young.

“I’ll be Francis,” Clint chimed in. “and get some washable green spray for my hair.”

“I don’t know about what to wear or anything, but call me Marya,” Wanda giggled. “Y/N?”

“She should be Esmeralda,” Nat chuckled, referring to a joke you all found hilarious from an old cartoon.

“Alright, I’m game!” you agreed as the bell rang, indicating the end of lunch.

You headed to your pottery class with Clint, while the girls went to their classes.

“You nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I’m still going.”

He stopped you and put his hands on your shoulders, looking you in the eye. “You know we’re going to do everything we can to keep you out of trouble.”

“I know,” you smiled, your nerves dissipating for the time being.

“Good, now let’s go, Esmeralda. I have to finish carving out Nat’s Christmas present before it gets brittle.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As usual, your mom was nowhere to be seen. A car pulled up in front of you and stopped, the back door opening for you.

“Thanks.” You climbed in next to Wanda, who was still bouncing with excitement over the night’s plans. With the music turned up, you all sang along on the way to your block. They left you on the corner, knowing your dad didn’t like you riding with anyone that wasn’t old enough to be a parent to a teenager. You said your goodbyes, and headed to your house, already counting down the hours until you were left alone for the night.

As soon as you walked in, your mom practically pushed you out the door.

“We need to go to the store. You’re going to wait in line while I grab something really quick, and then you’re going to clean the kitchen, fast, before your dad wakes up. Understand?”

“I’ll stay and start cleaning, then, if you’re in such a rush,” you tried to reason.

“No! I need to get back right away and you need to save a spot in line for me to do that.”

“Why don’t you wait in line? You always take forever and then I’m there in line with nothing looking like a dumbass,” you groaned.

“I don’t! Anyway, just let whoever’s behind you go and don’t be so dramatic.” She gave you a look that said this had better be the end of the discussion, and you slumped back in the car’s seat.

At the store, your mom pointed at the line before taking off, grabbing a cart.

“The hell do you need a cart for if you’re only getting one thing?” you grumbled to yourself.

Seeing the line was short, you decided to take a look around the little shop inside the store. There wasn’t much, and what was there certainly wasn’t of high quality, but it was cute. You approached the counter to look at the jewelry, and found a few things you liked; little skull and crossbones earrings, a dark red rose ring, and a crystal ball necklace. You purchased the items, thinking they’d go well with what you wanted to try to wear to the party, before something else in the counter caught your eye.

“Do those change your eye color?” you asked the clerk, pointing at a display of contact lenses beneath the glass.

“Yes! They’re $15 for a pair and they come with a container and a small bottle of solution.”

You bit your lip, thinking over whether it would be worth it. You’d always wondered how you’d look with different colored eyes, and decided if there was a right time to check, it would be tonight. Asking for the color you were most curious about, you bought them, and headed out to wait for your mom in the line.

As expected, she strolled up to you almost ten minutes later with a cart full of things she didn’t need. You internally scoffed as she showed you the cookies that ‘caught her eye’, and the nail polish, and the chocolate orange, and the other things accompanying the one staple item she had originally come for.

The cashier rung you up, and your mom turned to you, hand outstretched. “I don’t have enough. Give me some money.”

You gaped at her audacity, knowing instantly that was why she insisted on your coming along. You took a deep breath, calming your anger and embarrassment. “I only have $3, and I need it for my lunch tomorrow.”

Your mom smiled tightly, and chuckled at the cashier, trying to hide her own embarrassment. She snatched the wallet out of your back pocket, and opened it, nostrils flaring when she saw you really only had $3. She pushed your wallet in your hands, shoving you back a bit, and asked the cashier to remove some of the items. When you got to the car, she demanded to know what you doing with your money, and even asked if you were giving it away. You knew you were on thin ice, thinking back to when she trashed your room ‘looking for drugs’ the last time you didn’t have money to hand over, and hoped she wouldn’t pull that again. Nor did you want to be at the party worrying about someone touching you in a sensitive area should she get really mad and lash out physically, so you explained that the food prices at school went up, and your allowance was barely enough to cover it.

She seemed satisfied with the explanation, much to you relief, and even said she’d be speaking to your dad about raising it. When you returned home, happy that she wasn’t so angry anymore, you got to work cleaning up as quickly as possible hoping to avoid another confrontation. When you were finished, she asked you to help prepare dinner, which you did without argument. Once all the grunt work was done, you told her you needed to do homework, and she let you go to your room.

Grabbing a towel and some clothes, you jumped into the shower, taking care to ensure your skin was as smooth as can be. Leaving your hair in a towel for the time being, you rummaged through your closet looking for the outfit you loved, but never dared to wear outside, praying to any god that would listen that it still fit. ‘Yes!’ you though when you pulled out the red skirt from the mess that was your closet. ‘No!’ your eyes widened when you realized it looked a lot shorter than you remembered.

“Oh well, I guess here goes nothing…” you sighed as you slipped it on, ecstatic when it zipped without issue. Looking in the mirror, you smiled at how good you felt in it. You turned around to see it from behind and gasped. It was short enough that a wrong move would show a hint of cheek. “Crap… this probably isn’t a good idea.”

You picked up your phone and texted Wanda, knowing Nat would only encourage you to wear it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Y/N: Hey Wan? I have a predicament. I really want to wear this skirt, but well, see? *sends photo*

Wanda: WOAH! You have a great ass!

Y/N: Is it too slutty, though? I feel good and I really wanna wear it, but I’m scared I’ll feel self conscious later or someone will think I’m asking for something…

Wanda: Look, I’m not planning on drinking tonight, so I can keep an eye on you if you want, and swoop in if anyone gets touchy.

Wanda: IMO, I think you should go for it. You really look great in it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Feeling better about the skirt and knowing Wanda will be nearby to help you if needed, you decided to look for the top you intended to accompany the skirt. The top turned out to be a bit tight, but it actually didn’t look bad once you got your favorite bra on.

You eyed the long sleeved top, which only showed the smallest hint of cleavage, and let your eyes linger on the skeletal hands conveniently placed on the swells of your breasts. “Ohhh boy, I really hope no one gives me shit for this.”

Removing your clothes, you did your homework quickly before getting started on your hair, thankful for the cooler weather preventing it from frizzing. When that was done, it was time for makeup. Your dad didn’t allow you to wear it, but your mom did when he wasn’t around. Though you weren’t always fond of it, you did occasionally like to play with it and try out different looks. Since everyone was going for something drastic, you decided you would too, and picked a foundation and powder a few shades lighter than your complexion.

Silver and black eyeshadow was what you decided on, along with a dramatic wing and lashes perfectly thick with mascara. Choosing two tones for your lips, black and red to match your outfit, you blended them perfectly and ended up loving the effect.

Your head turned toward your bedroom door as you heard your dad’s voice call out that he was leaving for work, and would be back in the morning. Your heart sped up, knowing that it was almost time to leave. Giving your makeup a final look, you started to dress. Before putting your heavy combat boots on, you wondered if you should wear something else. You looked through your drawers and found an old pair of fishnets, wondering if you should give them a try.

“Come on, no one wears these anymore…” Still, you tried them and ended up liking the look of the lace tops, so you kept them and placed your boots on. Looking through the jewelry you bought earlier, you decided to forgo the ring and only wore the earrings and necklace. The crystal ball lay perfectly just above your cleavage, making you smile. “Holy shit, tonight’s gonna be awesome!”

Lastly, you pulled up the contact lenses. You’d never worn them before, and now you were wondering if it was a mistake. What if your eyes got dry and itchy? What if you lost one? Looking yourself in the mirror, you beamed at the girl before you. You were never this confident, or this adventurous if you were being honest. Who knew when you’d ever get another chance like this. Sucking in a breath, you placed the first lense in, expecting a horrible sting that never came. It was a little uncomfortable, sure, but nowhere near as bad as you were dreading. You placed the other one in, and were amazed at how quickly your eyes adjusted to the feeling.

You looked fantastic, and more importantly, you felt it. “I’m gonna have to do this more often when I move out.” The beeping of your phone caught your attention, and your stomach erupted in butterflies when you read Nat’s message.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Natasha: On our way.

Y/N: Shiiiit. I just realized I don’t have pockets. Where am I gonna put my phone and wallet?

Natasha: A purse?

Y/N: I don’t have one.

Natasha: Your shoe? Your bra? Or I can hold them for you if you want.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

You stuck your phone in your boot, and seeing it was secure, you sighed in relief. At your bookshelf, you noticed how the shirt rode up as you reached for an old, tattered book from the top, and were glad it still covered under your bra. You left it, only waiting to pull it down once you replaced the book where you kept your secret stash of cash. Natasha texted you again, saying they were almost there and you should start climbing out your window.

Taking a deep breath, you removed the screen as silently as you could and placed it against the wall. After you climbed out and closed the window as much as you could without shutting it, you began to make your way toward the side gate that led to the driveway. Using your mom’s car as cover, you inched closer to the second gate, and opened it slowly so as not to alert anyone. Flashing lights caught your eye, and you smiled, making a run for Clint’s car.

He gave out a low whistle. “You look gorgeous!”

“Thanks! I feel gorgeous!” You threw your hands up dramatically. You saw what Wanda and Nat were wearing, and you felt better about your own outfit. Nat’s was more revealing than yours, and while Wanda’s top only had a fraction of the fabric yours did, her skirt was at a flirty but still modest length.

“Turn the lights on,” Nat told Clint. “I wanna get a good look at her.”

After your friends’ praise and a few pictures, you were ready to head to Tony’s party.

~ ~ TAG LISTS ~ ~

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren  @silence–in–the–library @thefridgeismybestie @hymnofthevalkyrie

Avengers - @majd943

Bucky - @cassandras-musings

[doctormelapples]

call me pure sugar cuz I want every dessert

cherry turnover: who do you live with?

I live with my little sister, my mom and her girlfriend. I also occasionally live with my dad and his wife and their unborn child. Can’t forget about my dogs, maddie, ari, sherman.

bananas foster: do you believe in soulmates?

Here’s the thing, I love a good soulmate au, ( and if anyone wants to link or tag me in some i will be more than happy with that), but besides that I don’t really know if there is one person who will like, be perfect for you for the whole of your life or something like that. I feel like whether or not you decide to fill your life with people everything that surrounds you affects you to make you the person who you are when you die. So different people and different things are perfect for you at different times. So I guess not, I guess I don’t believe that there is someone you are destined for or whatever.

glazed donut: would you rather visit a zoo or an aquarium?

Ooooooh, I love Zoos but I don’t often go to aquariums. I think probably Zoo, because you can make a whole outside day out of it. Get sandwiches, then ice cream, and take walks around the zoo. It sounds nice.

pumpkin pie: what were your interests as a child?

Erm, books. I had 700+ points in the AR reading program like every year at school. The only bitch that got more than me was brandon and it was only because he cheated and read during math time in elementary.

lemon tart: how many languages can you speak?

I know like at least 15 words of spanish. And English is my first language.

chocolate mousse: how is your relationship with your parents?

Pretty good. I’m pretty open about stuff with my Mom, and she is where I get all my advice. Relatively close with my dad, but him being Quite christian kinda puts a wrench on our bonding moments where I share everything about my life with him.

creme brûlée: describe your style

What’s clean? okay good that works. mostly. I like faded colors and monochrome colors with pops of color. Like I wore my black skirt with a black and white shirt and my hot pink cons the other day.

cheesecake: have you ever visited a sex shop?

nope but i’ve visited the parking lot of one once

raspberry sorbet: favorite clothing stores?

I like thrifting. Romwe.com but i can rarely find things that fit u kinda got search. levi’s, charlotte russe, express is great but honestly I get all my clothes online and like on amazon and stuff.

green tea ice cream: who was your first crush?

My First crush? Like the kid in 1st grade who sat next to me in class and dropped his pen all the time? or like the kid in 6th grade who was the first person in my life to know my mom was gay and didn’t care?

chocolate chip cookie: how has your life changed over the past year?

wholy shite. I’m going into senior year, I’ve practically discovered a passion in the past year. I’ve lost and made and lost friends again. I’m still unreasonably sad.

berry trifle: first and last concert you went to?

The first concert I went to was a jazz concert that my friends and I probably broke into, it was a street concert and it was LIT. That was when I still lived in the city. The most recent concert that i went to was (wow dang okay, time isnt real, i can’t remember if I went to the 5 seconds of summer last or if it was tatinof cuz apparently that counts as a concert.) Let’s go with the 5 seconds of summer concert. It was great, I bought so much merch and one ok rock and hey violet were there and it was lit but like I dont really listen to them anymore so

tapioca pudding: favorite animated characters?

Nagisa from Assassination Classroom. Joe from Jack and the cuckoo clock heart. The twins from Ouran high school host club. Tiana from the princess and the frog

fudge brownie: do you like your name?

Yeah, Lila has always kinda had a magical feel to it, which is a little weird to be saying about my own name, but like as a kid I was super into fairies and old myths and legends, and so I’d always write myself little stories about me being a fairy

strawberry shortcake: are you good at keeping secrets?

Wowie boy o boy am i good at keeping secrets

tiramisu: are you daring when it comes to makeup and clothing or do you like to play it safe?

I like to think I’m daring, but not so much. I do love doing makeup, and I love dressing up but I wouldn’t use daring.

oreo milkshake: do you sleep a lot?

heckaboye do I. 

apple crisp: how do you relax?

I do not. 

erm it depends on what I’m relaxing from. Like, If I’m just stressed, make spicy tea or hot chocolate, get a softie book I’ve read before and know it’s good, like sorcerers stone, the girl who circumnavigated fairyland in a ship of her own making, one of those books from when I was younger that was just enjoyable, you know? chill in my bed with my back against the wall and the comforter all up and around me and read. If I’m like angry, or sad/mad at something or someone, I really just lay spread eagle on my floor put headphones in and like play sempiternal, bmth, like top volume on repeat. 

carrot cake: who is your celeb look alike?

Idk, haven’t met them yet

macaron: what is your ethnicity?

My dad’s side of the family is from finland, probably, but on my mom’s side I have no idea, but generally black.

cinnamon bun: favorite salty snack?

pretzels, but I don’t really like salty foods.

red velvet cupcake: ask any question of your own

well, im not really sure what you wanna do here but if you send me a question, i’ll answer it, probably.

[ageofwrathrpg]

Name: Nikolas ‘Pup’ Andrej Salko Age:  16 Ability: Darkness Manipulation Faction:  CIVILIAN as a RUNAWAY Faceclaim:  David Mazouz Availability:  TAKEN

THE STORY

The youngest of four to a wealthy Russian child psychiatrist and Serbian dentist near the Belarus border, Nikolas was raised in a comfortable and protective household with three older siblings, a dog, and his entire future mapped out for him since birth. At the age of 10, however, Nik found himself less-inclined to play outside during the day, prone to headaches due to the brightness of the sun. At age 11, he had taken to “sleepwalking” at night–that is to say that he would often wake in the middle of the night in a completely different part of the house, or even the town, and never had a witness. Thankfully, with the implementation of sleeping pills, these episodes stopped. His family never once suspected their youngest son to be Vila, especially considering how much the family despised those “monsters”.

As the years progressed, Nik discovered a knack for creating shadow puppets on his bedroom wall when he couldn’t sleep. At first, he thought his imagination was running wild, that he was finally losing his sanity; because of this, he stopped taking his sleeping pills and, during one particular night-time freak out, suddenly found himself no longer in the solace of his bedroom, but in the kennel with his beloved greyhound Shaylah. Once he realized what was happening, what he was, Nik was terrified. He’d always been taught that Vilas were monsters. He practiced his ability in secret, terrified that his parents would discover what he was, that they would condemn him, that his father would blame his mother, that his mother would blame his father, that it would tear his family apart …

When he was fourteen, Nik’s sister discovered her then-boyfriend was a Vila and immediately turned him in. Listening to his family speak of this boy as a lesser creature–someone Nik had actually liked–terrified him, and made him sick. After months of careful planning, and with the help of online support forums, Nikolas simply “disappeared” into the night, teleporting to Moscow and opting to live on the streets as his Vila-hating family fretted over the unexplained disappearance of their son.

THE CHARACTER

Content to live on the streets, Nik thrives in the night. He uses his abilities to conceal himself for the sake of stealing food and money he needs, as well as making a quick getaway to an underground safe haven he has carefully constructed for himself. Preferring to keep to himself and not fully agreeing with either the Lesyas nor the Rosteks, Nik prefers to stay out of confrontation, though the past year on the street has made him a better fighter. Because of his upbringing, he genuinely thinks himself a monster and is in constant battles with himself over whether or not he deserves his fate. He is a very confused teenager living in a fucked up world. Though mostly withdrawn and secretive, he enjoys the company of those like him … as long as they don’t push him to choose a side.

CONNECTIONS

Gavriil ‘Moose’ Moiseyevich Mussorgsky - This horror aficionado, though nice and certainly a mentor when it comes to Nik learning his ability, just … has a tendency to keep popping up. Seriously. How does he do that? Though fully aware that Moose is attempting to recruit him to the Lesyas (and Nik’s repeated declines), the two have become close friends. He sees Moose as the protective and supportive older brother he wishes he’d had in the beginning, but is still wary about choosing a side.

Karolyne 'Lynne’ Aleksandrovna Pavlova - Living on the streets ain’t easy. Sometimes, people get hurt. Sometimes they get sick. Sometimes they don’t want to deal with hospitals and risk being found. Sometimes they employ sneaky individuals like Nik to steal from hospitals and clinics. The first time Lynne walked into the supply room to catch him filling his bag with gauze, painkillers and antibiotics, she didn’t scold him but actually educated him on the proper medications needed for the job. Their paths have crossed similarly multiple times since and she has yet to rat on him, but Nik still isn’t sure if he can fully trust her; however, he is starting to warm up to her.

Zoya Anislavovna Petrovicha - This girl? She’s a little … scary. Perhaps that’s putting it nicely. Along with her claws, and venom, she also has a lousy sense of direction. In fact, that was how they met. She was lost (very vocal about it) and he took the role of her guide to the streets. Her ideology is a stark contrast to how he was raised. While he escorted her, she just kept raving on and on about how Vilas were the superior race. To be honest, he just keeps his mouth shut around her. 

Konstantin Maksymovich Krupin - Officially, Nik and the good doctor have only met once; it was only in passing and names were never exchanged, but it was safe to say the man left a lasting impression. Dr. Krupin always seems so stressed out, worried about something, in over his head, but Nik can tell that he means to do good. Now and then, when Krupin is out of the office, Nik will sneak in to leave little sandwiches, cookies, comic books, trinkets and the like as a sort of “pick me up”.

Leonid Arsenyevich Vosteck - Given his upbringing, Nik is completely unaware of any legends in regards to abilities so he never once questioned Leonid’s power of precognition–however, he does suspect their meeting was not mere coincidence. Nevertheless, the two have become friends and have a beneficial relationship. Nik can go places Leonid cannot for the sake of acquiring information and items he wants/needs, and in turn, Leonid keeps the Rosteks off Nik’s trail. He does worry for Leonid, though; sometimes, it seems as though his friend’s sanity is slipping even worse than his own. After all, “We monsters have to stick together.”

[[ More Connections ]]

ETC

Nik lives in an underground bunker with no doors or windows, only a small hole for ventilation. It is only accessible to those with the ability to teleport.

 He loves dogs and often steals food to feed strays. Because of this, he has earned the nickname “Street Pup” or “Pup” by some.

Out of necessity, Nik has learned to be a sufficient street fighter. 

Sensitive to sunlight, it is exceedingly rare to see Nik out during the day. He is ghostly pale, nearly always completely covered, and wears very dark shades. 

Still teetering with the dilemma of whether or not he really is the monster his parents believe Vilas to be, Nik is not above mutilating or killing someone if he thinks it is deserved retribution.

[steveburgos121]

Stolen from Aguilar

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Briana Ileen Aguilar Burgos
2. Are you outgoing or shy? I am mostly outgoing but tend to stay to myself.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My girlfriend but im fucking scared cause her parents lowkey want to kill me
4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes unless you’re an ignorant asshole
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes but they would probably make me do something funny, record it, then help me.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are short, have a little girl voice, can have their hair look so good when it’s up, can rap No Vaseline by Ice Cube, have a dog named charger, the first letter of their first name is B and make fun of my big head.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes this girl is now stuck with me forever. As soon as she kissed me she sold her soul to me 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Selena Gomez 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah it’s natural, unless you mention my parents doing it then fuck you 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My homegirl Aguilar 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Please keep your head amor. Everything is okay 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
1.) Chanel - Frank Ocean
2.) Ain’t It Funny - Danny Brown
3.) Legend Has It - Run The Jewels
4.) Land Of The Free - Joey Bada$$
5.) Am I Wrong - Anderson .Paak (I know one of these isn’t like the others) 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? No it’s uncomfortable cause my hair looks fucking flawless… unless you’re my girlfriend then pull my hair while you’re at it
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes, there’s a lot of good things that happen to people for it to all just be coincidence 
15. What good thing happened this summer? I finally let go of a lot of tension that I slowly built up for two years 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Without hesitation tf BRING THAT ASS HERE BOIII
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, the universe is to big for us to be the lonely ones 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Ha no
19. Do you like bubble baths? I haven’t taken one in a long time so maybe
20. Do you like your neighbors? Don’t really know them 
21. What are your bad habits? I have the worst fucking memory in the history of ever
22. Where would you like to travel? Coachella 23. Do you have trust issues? Terrible 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Laying in bed after a long day
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Stomach or Neck
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter, I wanna be a light skin
28. Who are you most comfortable around? My family, cousins, and Briana
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No just they’re sorry but didn’t explain why
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, I’m planning to wife her down
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? I tried to grow my hair out last year, I gave up after 7 months
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I don’t know that’s weird to think about maybe Katy 
33. Spell your name with your chin. Sgecr 
34. Do you play sports? What sports? I started running Track this year, one of the best decisions I’ve made in awhile 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Ha fuck tv 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? I think everyone has
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing I just make weird noises from my mouth, like clicks or pops
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Look @ answer 6
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Urban Outfitters, Finish Line, Hot Topic
40. What do you want to do after high school? Go to college
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, people are human and it sucks 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I don’t want to interact 
43. Do you smile at strangers? No that makes me and probably them feel uncomfortable 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? That’s so hard because space would be crazy but imagine what kind of things you could see at the bottom of the ocean… this one is hard
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Trying not to fail school and dropping out to become a stripper 46. What are you paranoid about? If I’m ever good enough 47. Have you ever been high? No but it would be interesting to try it out 48. Have you ever been drunk? Nah fuck alcohol 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not recently, I’m not sure if ever 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red, my Nike hoodie I wear to track 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Someone who isn’t always angry all the time 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My height, I wanna be taller 53. Favourite makeup brand? All of them 54. Favourite store? Finish Line 55. Favourite blog? Frank Oceans 56. Favourite colour? Marine blue or dark red 57. Favourite food? Spaghetti or chicken bread 58. Last thing you ate? Cocoa Pebbles 59. First thing you ate this morning? A sandwich my loony made me 60. Ever won a competition? For what? My track team won our first meet by 28 points if that counts 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No I’m a good boy 62. Been arrested? For what? Still a good boy 63. Ever been in love? Currently 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? We were watching Netflix in eight grade 65. Are you hungry right now? I’m always hungry it sucks 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? My only tumblr friend is my girlfriend in real life so I like them evenly 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook sucks ass 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tweet tweet motherfucker 69. Are you watching tv right now? I don’t even have a tv in my room 70. Names of your bestfriends? Briana, cutie, Aguilar, hot stuff, cutie with the bootie, wifey, princess Bri, baby Bri, on and my lovely girlfriend. 71. Craving something? Look at question 1 72. What colour are your towels? Blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 I need more fluffy ones 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? With two yes 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Like 4 I think 75. Favourite animal? The one with hair and eyes 76. What colour is your underwear? Dark blue and grey 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie Dough 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? A non existent color 80. What colour pants? Sky blue shorts 81. Favourite tv show? THE WALKING DEAD 82. Favourite movie? Logan , ever since I watched it I haven’t stopped thinking about it 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls, never seen the second one 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 Jump Street, that shit is hilarious 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The girl 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? That’s so hard to choose 87. First person you talked to today? My Father 88. Last person you talked to today? My amorcita bonita 89. Name a person you hate? Miguel 90. Name a person you love? Briana 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Miguel 92. In a fight with someone? Not at the moment 93. How many sweatpants do you have? I had two but my girlfriend stole and I think I lost the other one 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 10 maybe a little less 95. Last movie you watched? Get Our 96. Favourite actress? Dafne Keen 97. Favourite actor? Hugh Jackson and Robert Downy Jr. 98. Do you tan a lot? When I was lifeguard yes 99. Have any pets 4 little dogs 100. How are you feeling? Very very very tired 101. Do you type fast? Not really, this has taken multiple days. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? A couple things, maybe not in the future 103. Can you spell well? Well 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes but then I remember who tf I am 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but I want to go to one that would be cool 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes it’s funny 107. Have you ever been on a horse? In Mexico in like 2006 108. What should you be doing? Sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? I can’t see my girlfriend for a month 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I’m not sure 111. Do you have trust issues? Wasn’t this question already asked? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Briana, like a million times 113. What was your childhood nickname? I didn’t have one 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes multiple times, Cali and Mexico 115. Do you play the Wii? No but I should start playing it again 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Lite Weight by Anderson .Paak 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I think so? 118. Do you like Chinese food? Fuck yeah, especially P.F Changs ughhhh I want some now 119. Favourite book? I think it would be a tie between The Great Gatsby and Man’s Search for Meaning 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope the dark is the most relaxing thing in the world 121. Are you mean? Lowkey yes and I hate it 122. Is cheating ever okay? 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Yes, I could probably be a sneaker head if I wanted to 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No you can’t love someone without getting to know them dafuq this isn’t a Nicholas Spark book get that shit out of here 125. Do you believe in true love? Of course, I never knew how strong it was until I got my best friend 126. Are you currently bored? I’m doing my psychology book review so yes 127. What makes you happy? My girlfriend, family, music, and track 128. Would you change your name? Nah I actually have learned to really like my name 129. What your zodiac sign? ♋️ 130. Do you like subway? I liked it better when I got it for free 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Date the shit out of her 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Your mom jk my novia 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I see both sides like channel 134. Can you count to one million? Is that even possible? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m 12 inches my mans 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed but I want them open 137. How tall are you? 5'7 138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? Summer fuck snow 141. Night or Day? Day I hate nights 142. Favourite month? October 143. Are you a vegetarian? No maybe I should be… SIKE I love my meat 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 146. Was today a good day? Yes my highlights were my baby and track practice 147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? We gon be Alright 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes shit is scary 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “If my lack of emotion had not surprised me from the standpoint of professional interest, I would not remember this incident now, because there was so little feeling involved in it.”