#the lds church has a fraught history with the gays

[wowbright]

Over the last year or so, there's been this new thing in ex-mormon/post mormon/progressive Mormon podcast where they say, "hey, a lot of our listeners have never been Mormon so let's explain this [obvious thing that anyone with any interest in the topic already knows or will find out soon on their own]" and it's just so annoying.

Like, seriously. If we don't know what you're talking about, we know how to Google stuff on the internet. Please stop creating boring podcast content by taking 5-15 minutes out of every other episode telling us that Mormon adults wear special underwear or that going on a mission as a young adult is a culturally significant thing.

[theotherjudas]

A few words on Believer

Like many of you, I’ve just watched the HBO’s documentary Believer (2018). For those not in the know yet, this film follows Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds as he organizes the (first) Loveloud music festival in Utah. Reynolds, a “born-in-the-covenant” Utah-native mormon, served a mission for the LDS church before beginning his music career. A massive blow to his faith came when he became aware of the suicide epidemic in Utah among mormon kids, and most especially among LGBTQ youth. 

Now. I will state first and foremost that the documentary moved me. Reynolds is an extremely talented, loving, earnest guy. He is clearly trying to do what is right. And at the end of the day, isn’t that most we can hope and expect of anyone in life? The experiences shared by members of the mormon LGBTQ community, their families, and friends/ allies touched me profoundly. Accounts of mental illness, societal pressure, struggles with perfection, depression, and suicide, while carrying a significant portion of the film’s heft, by no means overwhelm the viewer. So, I am imploring you: watch it (if you feel healthy and stable enough to do so) and think about it. And yet, I feel strongly that the message conveyed by the documentary overall is dangerously - fatally -  flawed. 

I will cop (briefly) to my own biases before explaining why. I am a gay ex-mormon man. I left the church when I was eighteen, after coming to the realization some 2-3 years previously that the church’s doctrines and history didn’t stand up to scrutiny. I don’t like being lied to. I didn’t even know I was gay until I left. That is to say, I always knew, but I stamped those feelings and thoughts so far down inside (turn it off!) that I had plausible deniability. I have struggled with anxiety and depression (including suicidal ideation) for over a decade and while I can’t lay all the blame for this at the church’s feet (genetics, home life, messed up brain chemistry, societal conditioning, etc.) I KNOW that had I stayed in the church, there’s a good goddamn chance I wouldn’t be alive today. 

Obviously, the topic of how the church relates to the LGBTQ community is dense and thorny, with a history fraught with so much pain and bad intentions. I don’t pretend to have all the answers. But this is something I feel with all my being: 

THE CHURCH IS THE PROBLEM. 

In Believer, Reynolds receives a formal statement from the church during the lead-up to the Loveloud festival. In it, the church claims that they “applaud” the concert for being uplifting and bringing people together with a positive message of love. This comes, by the way, after months of struggling to get sponsors or traction or attention for the festival in LDS-controlled Utah. Reynolds, reading the church’s statement live on camera, is overwhelmed with joy. It’s a step, he says. But the second he read it, a little flag went up in my head- wait for the other shoe to drop. 

And drop it did indeed. A few months later, at General Conference (2017), Dallin H. Oaks (those familiar know where this is going...) stood before the assembled world of mormonism and in no uncertain terms re-upped the LDS’s church stance against homosexuality. Specifically, he invoked the two-decades old Proclamation to the Family (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, 1995). Oaks is notorious even among TBMs for being far right-wing in his social and political stances. Selecting him to voice this message to the membership is all you need to know. Reynolds recounts what a devastating sight this conference address was for him - I’m sure it felt like a slap in the face, a rejection of all he’d worked so hard for. 

With all camaraderie and respect for Mr. Reynolds, I say: how the FUCK did you not see that coming??? 

THE CHURCH LIES. 

If there’s one thing the church does, it’s survive. The LDS church has a Public Relations machine the likes of which are employed only in the highest echelons of politics and corporate business. Over the past century it has rehabilitated the church’s public image from that of a dangerous outlaw anti-American cult to that of a loving, wholesome if quirky, good-traditional-christian-values group. The church makes NO change unless public sentiment and pressure mount so high they risk losing members. One need only study the most superficial accounts of the elimination of polygamy (19th century) and the priesthood ban (20th) for this to become evident. 

Of course, Mr. Reynolds, the church wasn’t going to challenge you publicly! That’d be bad press. They couldn’t control the narrative. You had the first word, the upper hand... and you let it slip away. They’ll say whatever they need to say to avoid the issue, and then turn around and make life a fucking hell for their LGBTQ members. And anyone else they find distasteful. 

Ultimately, I think it’s better to have this documentary than not. Despite its highly conciliatory tone toward the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints throughout, it offers an insight into some real issues. And YES! Famous mormons like Reynolds and Tyler Glenn (of the Neon Trees, who also played Loveloud) ought to use their voices to stem the tide of young blood spilling from the bodies of Utah’s children. WE HAVE TO STOP THE SUICIDE EPIDEMIC. THAT IS PRIORITY ONE. 

That said, I wish wish WISH someone would have acknowledged the real problem: the church is a lie. It is a fraudulent organization built on a fiction and a conman’s charisma. Change it all you like, reform it, reshape it. It doesn’t matter. You can shine a turd all you like, as they say... The church is rotten to the core. The church is killing children. And they refuse to stop it. Websites, a few kind words, and some half-hearted concessions to basic human rights are a but pathetic band-aid: flimsy and liable to be swept away in the rancid pool water of old doctrine.  WE HAVE TO STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE CHURCH. WE MUST DESTROY IT. 

My LGBTQ brothers and sisters aren’t killing themselves because the church tells them they’re evil for loving people they’re “not supposed to.” They’re doing it because the church is an organization of control and they happen to BE something the church can’t control... and thus feels it must crush out of existence. 

I respect the approach Reynolds and his ilk are taking in dealing with the single issue of suicide. Please please please keep up the good work! But while we all rally to that cause, let’s burn this motherfucking cult to the goddamned ground.