#the latter of which I’m having many feelings about in regards to this today

[randomfoggytiger]

Gillian Anderson: a Retrospective Glance

Gillian Anderson, in her own words.

The Short Route

May 7, 2006:

'I'm never satisfied. That's part of me, part of my make-up.'...

[On The X-Files] 'You know, early twenties, all the emotions, and I had a baby, and then a divorce, and I was on a brand-new series that was doing well, and all the publicity surrounding that, all the nonsense about David and I, and there were times when it was unbearable.' Hastily, humbly, she adds, 'And yet, I was so fortunate to be a part of something that was so exceptional. We did have fun.'

'I do try, very hard, to be happy where I am, I work extra-hard at it, but it's difficult for me, because what is around me is not enough.'

...She describes her current house as 'big and open and white. My... [there's a long pause, while she works out the correct term] husband liked white walls. I like white walls, too. A mixture of funky but mostly standard elements, contemporary, but classic. Then the one before that, off Portobello Road, I just went mad with colour. Spent an exorbitant amount of money on layers and layers of paint. Very funky, bohemian, Moroccan. One before that, in Canada, lots of wood and glass, looking out at the ocean, very grounding.' An eternal cycle of reinvention.

February 24, 2025:

It wasn’t until probably about 15 years ago, when I played Stella Gibson in The Fall, that I started to pay attention to fashion and beauty—the quality of her clothes, her sensuality, and how she put herself together. It was through playing her that I started to actually feel that paying attention to it felt good, and how good it felt to be in those clothes, connected to a sense of personal power because of how one presents. So, I feel like I’ve come to it quite late in my life, and it’s interesting that this opportunity would also come to me quite late in my life.

[During the early years]: Interestingly, Scully wasn’t connected to beauty at all. She wore a lot of single-color polyester pantsuits, which were made fun of by people, especially in retrospect. Scully’s style was a reflection of her character. She wasn’t trying to be glamorous or fit into traditional beauty standards. Her minimalist look and sharp, elegant clothes were a form of strength. It wasn’t about appearance; it was about being intelligent, strong, and independent.

...Back then, it felt less glamorous than it had in previous eras and less glamorous than it is now. But honestly, I prefer the glamour of today, if I’m being honest.

The Long Route

AMBITIONS AND PRIVATE LIFE

October 1994 (first interview):

EXTRA: O.K. are we ready. I'm going to ask you some extra questions from America Online and then we'll get to the other ones if we have time. Now are you a skeptic or are you a believer in the UFO?

GILLIAN: In real life? Oh in real life. Me as Gillian Anderson I have a tendency to be more of a believer than a skeptic. There certainly things that I am hesitant about but I have always had a fascination with some kind of a belief system with psychokinesis and E.S.P. and astro-projection and life after death and all that wonderful stuff.

1996:

Because the play in New York would have conflicted with other projects, Anderson opted to make a two-for-one swap and take the other two parts, doing the movie and then “The Philanthropist”. As it turned out, the latter ultimately led her to Los Angeles after she became involved with another actor on the show, following him to the West Coast and eventually moving in with him. “I’m not sure if I hadn’t made those choices that I would be doing The X-Files right now,” she muses. 

..."The X-Files”, in fact, was the only pilot for which Anderson auditioned in 1993, at that point possessing little knowledge regarding what the whole process entailed. She even had to ask her manager what a pilot was and had no idea that each network commissions about four times as many pilots as they end up ordering as series. “I naively assumed that we were going to be picked up,” she says, with the hope that landing the part and doing 13 episodes of a TV show (the number networks order for starters) would put her in a different echelon of casting. She anticipated at most committing a year to the project. 

May 19-25, 2001:

For the record: She was not originally blonde; she does have a dog, but it's a King Charles spaniel, not a Jack Russell terrier; and she has been nicotine-free for just over a year. "It isn't as hard as I imagined it would be," she says of kicking the habit. "I am in a state of grace with it."

A practicing Buddhist, Anderson seems to be in a state of grace with life overall. And although she enjoyed directing an episode of The X-Files, she says it's so time-consuming that she can't imagine doing it again until Piper is at least 16. But Anderson makes no secret of the fact that she's ready to move on. When her contract expires after next season, she wants to return to the stage.

January 22, 2006:

Anderson says she did take a year off to travel with boyfriend-now-husband Julian Ozanne, a photojournalist and filmmaker....

Anderson also engaged in charity work overseas, including with an organization called Artists for a New South Africa....

May 7, 2006:

She [Gillian Anderson] seems to have had it with theatre. 'Usually when I do a play - and this is why I don't do them very often - you start rehearsals, it's all great fun, then you get halfway through and you think, "...it's too hard, too stressful." And then you get over that and it's fine, and then you absolutely love it for a couple of weeks, and then you start thinking, "...is this ever going to end?" and then you realise it's not going to end and you have to make the best of every night. And then you start to learn again, and you do that for a little while... and then you get to the place where you're like, "...it's going to be over soon, and this is such a wonderful experience!"' She forks in some duck salad. 'I'm never satisfied. That's part of me, part of my make-up.'

...Gossip has had the pair [Anderson and Ozanne] splitting for a while; she put out the lawyers' statement in the hope that 'it might change the dynamic if people just knew it, outright'. In the expectation that you might be able to take back some control? 'One hopes so.' Anderson hails a waiter, asks if she's allowed to smoke in here. No, she's not. 'I don't know why, I'm dying for a cigarette....'

'You know, early twenties, all the emotions, and I had a baby, and then a divorce, and I was on a brand-new series that was doing well, and all the publicity surrounding that, all the nonsense about David and I, and there were times when it was unbearable.' Hastily, humbly, she adds, 'And yet, I was so fortunate to be a part of something that was so exceptional. We did have fun.'

'I do try, very hard, to be happy where I am, I work extra-hard at it, but it's difficult for me, because what is around me is not enough.' Four years ago, she went through a really good stage, she was 'really, really happy', and there's a long, dreamy pause while she drifts off, remembering this happy time, and then she comes to and says, briskly, 'Yeah, but I was doing loads of yoga and meditation. I was going to say I was eating wholefoods a lot, but I think I was living off frozen yogurt.'

...Her chief recreation is 'buying houses, doing them up, selling them up for a little bit more. Structurally, working with architects, interiors, I love that stuff. I've done it a lot. Twice in London, twice in Canada, twice in California.' Ah, that dissatisfied impulse again. I'll bet she's already starting to think about the sale of the marital home around the corner, and the next purchase.

She describes her current house as 'big and open and white. My... [there's a long pause, while she works out the correct term] husband liked white walls. I like white walls, too. A mixture of funky but mostly standard elements, contemporary, but classic. Then the one before that, off Portobello Road, I just went mad with colour. Spent an exorbitant amount of money on layers and layers of paint. Very funky, bohemian, Moroccan. One before that, in Canada, lots of wood and glass, looking out at the ocean, very grounding.' An eternal cycle of reinvention.

February 25, 2017:

There were occasions during that series [The X-Files] when I wasn’t sure whether I could go on. I started having panic attacks on a daily basis while we were shooting, around the time Piper was born. It was a mixture of not having dealt with childhood problems, the work being intensive, living in the spotlight and the expectation on me, as well as not knowing how to get balance or properly take care of myself. The panic attacks forced me to start practising meditation, just to eke out a tiny bit of space for myself, and that made it possible to continue.

Gillian and Clyde divorced after three years (she later said she had been too young and has encouraged her daughter to travel and ‘make the most of her life’ before getting seriously involved with a man), and she was briefly married to Julian Ozanne, a filmmaker. She then fell in love with Mark Griffiths, a businessman, with whom she has two sons, Oscar, ten, and Felix, eight.

Despite achieving fame on both sides of the Atlantic, she remained insecure: ‘For years I was very self-centred and focused on my body, my weight, and it caused so much sadness. That really moves me now, just how much of my younger life I missed out on because I was so focused on my thighs or my outfit; it was such a waste of time.’

Obsessing about appearance is part of the career she chose, Gillian concedes, ‘but it’s becoming the world we all operate in because of social media. Facebook and Instagram have made all women focus on how they look and how they’re represented.’

...Motherhood brought its own pressures, especially for Gillian, who finds the noise and chaos of young boys unbearable at times. Maybe other mothers have ‘tougher nerve endings’, she says. She does the ‘right thing’ and gets down to play Lego but ‘my kids can sense it’s not easy for me. I struggled when Piper was little as well. I remember getting restless and feeling this pressure that I should be doing something else, but when I was doing something else feeling this pressure that I should be with my child. It’s that constant tug of war…and I don’t think I’m alone with that. I try to be tolerant and patient. How I am in the house depends on my time of the month: I’m either embracing of the noise or it’s nails on a chalk board. But they know that it’s just Mum. There’s an acceptance and a lovingness.’

...‘Independence-wise being an only child is good, but there are traits that I have seen in other only children: being quite selfish, not really wanting to share. It’s taken a long time for me to push the boundaries of those and be less controlling, less protective of my world and my space.’

...Gillian saw a pattern with her partners: ‘I’d meet someone, instantly fall in love and spend every waking hour with them, but stopped doing the things I enjoyed doing, stopped taking care of myself. I adopted their interests, friends, music, tastes…before long I’d start to resent them, even though it was me who actively let myself go.’

After six years together, she and Mark split up (they didn’t marry) and she has used some of the experience of her dealings with her ex in her book. ‘A spiritual adviser encouraged me to start thinking of [him] as my “beloved”, that regardless of our separateness we will be raising two children together for the rest of our lives and that makes him one of the most important people in my life, whether I like it or not. As you can imagine, this is not easy, but the times I am able to communicate with him from a place of love and appreciation rather than resentment, or as he says “againstness”, the more my perception shifts.’

MOVING ABOUT THE GLOBE

“First of all, I swore I’d never move to Los Angeles,” she admits, “and once I did, I swore I’d never do television. It was only after being out of work for almost a year that I began going in [to audition] on some stuff that I would pray that I wouldn’t get because I didn’t want to be involved in it.” 

February 1998:

Born in Chicago to Rosemary and Edward Anderson, Gillian accompanied the family to Puerto Rico before settling in London, where her father studied film production. Her mother says she was adventurous and welcomed “new experiences.”

“One of my very favorite stories happened when we were in London,” Rosemary Anderson recalls. “It was her first day of nursery school. Her father was taking her down the stairs and she looked back up at me, saw my face and said, ‘Don’t cry, Mom.’ She was fine. I was not.”

After nine years, the Andersons returned to America and settled in Grand Rapids.

“By the time I was 11, I had been on 40-some planes,” the actress says, lighting another cigarette. “I remember my parents taking me to parties a lot. Running around, then falling asleep. Having my pajamas on and being carried to the car. … Some of my greatest memories are of them shoving me in the back of a VW Bug and sleeping on the way home.”

July 19, 1998:

The 1,000-mile commute was wearing him down. "We're [David Duchovny and Tea Leoni] like passing ships in the night because of our different schedules," he said at the time. His co-star Gillian Anderson supported the move, adding, "I love Vancouver. I think it's a beautiful city. But it is not and never has felt like home. Los Angeles feels like home."

1998:

During a brief break, Anderson, looking radiant in a long red cocktail dress, said she was invigorated by filming in Southern California.

“It’s really been going great, and the episodes are really good this season,” she said. “It’s really made a difference for me being here. I have a lot of friends and a great support system.”

Anderson added: “The sunshine does have a lot to do with my mood, feeling healthy and whole. It’s nice to sit out in the sunshine with my daughter.”

March 2001:

leolady19682001: Hi Gillian, how are you? when you're in London do you feel like you're coming home? or is living in London a distant memory?

gillian_anderson_live: I always feel like I'm coming home when I go to London. It's one of the places where I feel most at home. I hope to eventually live there, part-time, again.

November 8, 2003:

All I know is that for my whole life I have been pulled towards the African Continent. I was born in America, live in London and my heart is in Africa.

January 22, 2006:

Anderson says she did take a year off to travel with boyfriend-now-husband Julian Ozanne, a photojournalist and filmmaker. The two married in Kenya in late 2004 and have visited 30 countries in three years -- among them, Lebanon, Syria, India, Sri Lanka, Russia, Romania. Some of those places are considered risky travel destinations.

"They consider Beirut to be the Paris of the Middle East, and it certainly is," Anderson says. "It's a beautiful, beautiful city that also still shows signs of the devastation that has gone on for years and years. Every other building has blown-out windows. But it wasn't scary."

Anderson also engaged in charity work overseas, including with an organization called Artists for a New South Africa....

May 7, 2006:

She married Julian Ozanne - who was the FT's Africa bureau chief and is now a financial consultant and a director of a biofuels company - in Lamu's Shella island, off Kenya's Indian Ocean coast in December 2004.

...But she and Piper will remain in London? 'Yeah. For now. And maybe we'll be here in 20 years. Or maybe I'll fall in love with Spain. Or India. Who knows? Things are all changing right now.... '

August 2006:

Are you staying in London?

Yes, we [Gillian and Piper Anderson] are. We've been here for four years, so this is home - for now, anyway.

You grew up in the UK until you were nine and you live here now, and your daughter is growing up here, going to school here. Do you feel more British or American?

Neither. When I'm here, I'm conscious of having an American sensibility, but when I'm there I don't fit in, I feel more British. I have different conversations here. I meet people who are intelligent and well-informed and interesting, but there's more reluctance to be personal, to discuss the ways we feel and think. But it is changing. Even in the four years I've been here I've seen that begin to shift.

January 2016:

We made 202 episodes in the end, over nine seasons, and worked long 16-, 17-hour days.  David and I were in almost every scene for years - often at night, in the rain, on location.  So much of it was shot in the dark, with us lighting ourselves by flashlight, in all kinds of weather, and in the forest.  Oh, the forests.  When the show finally moved to Los Angeles I can’t say we missed them, or the weather, but Vancouver really did set the mood for the show in a fundamental way.  

FASHION AND SELF-IMAGE

July 10, 1998:

WHAT’S UP WITH SCULLY’S WARDROBE (I)? Not that we’re complaining, but when did the dowdy agent develop such killer fashion sense? Is it a side effect of alien abduction? “In the beginning of the series, I was into the frumpy FBI agent look, but I got tired of it pretty quickly,” Anderson says. “I’ve been paying more attention to my clothes. And with the movie, we had more money, so we could start doing things with Italian fabrics and stuff.”

August 2006:

Were you drawn to the Scully character - was she like you?

I did bring a lot of myself to her. I wanted her to be a different kind of character. It was more important to me that her dress sense was conservative and frumpy, that she was kind of awkward with that side of thing, it wasn't what she was about.

February 8, 2015:

Was she surprised to be voted sexiest woman on the planet? She answers in single-word sentences. “It. Means. Absolutely. Nothing. If you look at all the pictures of me back then I had the worst hair, I was the worst dressed, I never put any time or energy into how I looked in public, never put makeup on, never even got out of my house trousers.... So what’s it based on? It’s surely not based on Scully and her three-piece suit and her awkward hair and the pink pastel Lycra suit, so what is it?”

You?

“But no one knew me,” she protests.

She says it’s only over the past three years that she’s paid any attention to her appearance.

January 2016:

For the 2015 reboot of six episodes, the question naturally came up: to dye or not to dye?  My hair was already falling out from playing so many platinums (Stella in The Fall, Bedelia in Hannibal, Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire), so “wig” was the answer.

Cut to day two of filming in the heart of downtown Vancouver (taking the role of Washington, DC), smack in the middle of lunch hour.  We were drawing crowds, and these days “crowds” means phones, photographs and instant internet activity.  A close-up of my hair was immediately posted online: “It’s not the right red!” (outrage); “The parting is wrong!” (disgust).  Fans ,who know more about the show than any of us making it, were spot on - they had been watching Scully right from the show’s beginning - and a new wig was made....

One thing that was going to be different this time around, though: Scully’s wardrobe.  During the original series, I had paid not a lick of attention to her style.  I had known that I wanted her to be homely, because I was determined to be a real actress who didn’t care about vanity.  But little did I realise that my lack of awareness would lead to years of bad hair and polyester suits.  To be fair, the show’s costume girl was great and was simply pulling outfits from what was on offer in the mid-Nineties: fabrics that I can’t even think of without shivers running up my spine; double-breasted suits and shoulder pads as big as a house.  Scully’s taste got better as the seasons went on, but it wasn’t really until the sixth season when we moved down to Los Angeles and a new team came on board, that I was forced to address the issue, head-on.  New, hipper clothes and a slicker haircut for Scully.  Even a leather coat, here and there.

This time around, after 13 years of creating other characters and realising that I not only have a say in how they appear but that I actually enjoy that part of the process - I have strong opinions about how my characters express themselves through clothes - I worked much more actively with The X-Files wardrobe designer Chris Hargadon to hone Scully’s style.  I had worked with Chris on Hannibal, in which he got to express his creative genius through Hannibal’s fine tailoring.

February 2019:

One morning a decade ago, Gillian Anderson started crying about the cruelty of ageing and didn’t stop until evening. “If you watch yourself on film, there is a certain point you see yourself... change. It’s arresting,” she says, sitting on a velvet sofa at home, dressed in black, her stiletto boots tucked under her, and with such fine features it’s as if she’s been drawn with a very sharp pencil. “It can either be completely traumatic or something that instigates a shift of consciousness towards thinking about what’s important. But you have to go through that trauma first, to mourn.”

Anderson takes a sip of tea. “The thing to remember is, how one looks in the mirror is the youngest one will ever look again. So you can’t do anything but celebrate it! Ageing is something we all need to find a way to embrace – the inevitability of age, of decline, of… rot.” She cackles, hearing herself, a well-attired goth contemplating death on a winter afternoon.

February 24, 2025:

...Interestingly, Scully wasn’t connected to beauty at all. She wore a lot of single-color polyester pantsuits, which were made fun of by people, especially in retrospect. Scully’s style was a reflection of her character. She wasn’t trying to be glamorous or fit into traditional beauty standards. Her minimalist look and sharp, elegant clothes were a form of strength. It wasn’t about appearance; it was about being intelligent, strong, and independent.

...Back then, it felt less glamorous than it had in previous eras and less glamorous than it is now. But honestly, I prefer the glamour of today, if I’m being honest.

FLUCTUATING INTEREST IN SCULLY AND THE X-FILES

1996:

Despite what she now calls her “very snobby view of doing television versus film,” Anderson read the pilot script for “The X-Files” and found herself immediately drawn to both the character of Dana Scully and her relationship with fellow FBI agent Fox Mulder. 

November 1998:

“It’s incredibly gratifying,” says Anderson of what it’s been like to play Dana Scully. “It would have been harder to stick with it were I not playing such an intelligent, such an interesting, and multidimensional character as Scully is. When I read the pilot, I was struck how unlike a TV script it was and, also, by how complicated and interesting the relationship was between Mulder and Scully. I think that more than anything,” she continues, “[it was] her intelligence and her strength in standing up to Mulder and feeling confident about expressing her beliefs in front of somebody who was touted as being near God in terms of his work at the FBI.”

November 2000:

And that's where the real push came in her contract negotiations, which hinged on her belief that her pay versus Duchovny's was too unfair. "At the end of the fifth year, it became just ridiculous and unacceptable that there was the disparity," she says. "So we took steps to remedy that and we were successful. Then there was the issue whereby I was already signed on for the eighth season and David was not, which put him in a better position. "He was in a better leveraging position," she says candidly.

"Therefore, in order to get what he felt was fair, he agreed to do the eighth season. Conversely, I had to do what I felt was fair. Fox was asking for a ninth season and I said no. "And they said, 'well if you're not going to do a ninth season then we're not going to pay you what you want.' So in order to negotiate fairly, I had to agree to do the ninth year."

"There's no two ways about it. I was over a barrel, a very big barrel. And it was uncomfortable, you know, to be in that position. Here's a company that I had worked so hard for for so long and I put a lot of time and energy into doing the best work that I could.

"For them to come to me and say, 'Well, you know, forget about that. This is what we need right now and we don't care what your needs are. This is what we need in order for you to be compensated,' it was unfair," she says without hesitation. "We worked it out in the end but it was incredibly uncomfortable and unfortunate."

Still, she did so begrudgingly. 

January-February 2001:

GA: ...I do think that over time, as I have changed and matured and gotten more comfortable with myself, so has Scully. And there's also a difference now that Mulder is temporarily gone. She seems more well rounded somehow. With Mulder around, there was always a piece of Scully that was...

Interview: Suppressed?

GA: Yeah, in a way. When you're in a relationship with someone, no matter how much you fight to maintain a sense of self, when that relationship is over, there's always a piece that comes back to you. And I fee that's kind of what's happened.

January 18, 2002:

The future of “X-Files” has been a topic around Fox for much of the last few seasons, as both Duchovny and Anderson expressed a desire to move on. Duchovny worked half of the episodes last season. And Anderson, who wanted to leave earlier in the show’s run, was contractually forced to work this year.

Like Anderson, viewers may already have had enough.

May 10, 2002:

Dave Letterman: What was it like when you got together to get ready to go for the final time there?

Gillian Anderson: Well, I think I expected it to be a lot more emotional than it actually was. Like a week beforehand I started saying this is the last day that we are filming at the studio; this is the last day that this person is going to touch up my lips; this is the last...you know, you start to take in those things. And after a while, you just go blank...it just gets kind of blank. And ah, ... blank. Kinda like I am right now, blank.

Dave Letterman: You did that to sort of protect yourself from the real emotions of it, you think?

Gillian Anderson: I think so. And I also think that it is somewhat unfathomable, you know. And I think that I am so used to the routine and I am also used to going on hiatus that probably come July, when I would normally go back, is when I'll start to feel it.

July 2002:

And now it's over, and she's not quite sure how she feels about that. "Don't get me started. I don't know why, but I woke up feeling so emotional today. It's so surreal.... it's only starting to hit me over the past couple of days. And it just feels like nine years was so short. You know what I mean? While we were in the middle of it I felt that it would never end, and now it's just all of a sudden... it just feels unfathomable. And that's all I have to say."

It sounds as if she might be having second thoughts about Chris Carter's decision, but ultimately she realizes this is the moment to call it a day. "No, no, no. I think ultimately that it's good to finish now. There's a time for everything to end, and I think this is the right time. I think it's good for everybody and I think that everybody has put in such a huge effort over the years in really trying to keep the quality of the show up and to continue with its integrity as much as it can. Now everybody in their own way is excited about moving on to other things. Both things can co-exist. One can be sad and in the process of mourning and at the same time be excited and hopeful for the future and change."

August 2002:

While many originally perceived The X-Files as being all about Mulder's quest, in the end, it was clear that the show was as much about Scully's quest as well. Cancer, abduction, infertility (and its mysterious reversal) were just some of the story threads that affected Scully directly. "I think the show certainly did start out just as Mulder's quest; the show was primarily about his character and his genius and his revelation. And Scully's job was to kind of help solidify that in the questions that she would answer."

Together, she adds, "they created a whole." The path toward having Scully carry as much weight in the stories as Mulder was a gradual one, though, she recalls, laughing. "It was 70-30, then 60-40, then 50-50.

In seasons eight and nine, the fact that the saga of The X-Files completed its morph into revolving around Scully's journey is something that Anderson feels, "happened by necessity, because of the fact that David was going to be leaving. And I think for the first year that he was gone, the writers did a very good job of keeping him in the public consciousness even though he wasn't around."

After two years of will-they-or-won't-they return false starts, the reality that the end is near has struck the red-haired actress full force. "I woke up feeling so emotional today," Anderson admits on a bright Friday afternoon, with just four more episodes -- including the show's two-hour finale -- still to shoot. "This is surreal. It's only started to hit me these past couple of days. It feels like nine years was so short. While we were in the middle of it, I thought it would never end. Now, all of a sudden, it's just unfathomable."

January 22, 2006:

Anderson says that nine seasons of the science-fiction/paranormal hit just sapped too much from of her real life. So stepped out of the Hollywood grind and headed to London, perhaps led by memories of a childhood spent there. She bought a house and met the man she married. "I know what it's like to do things that are soul-decaying," she says. "And a lot of, you know, a large aspect of life in Hollywood, in a stereotypic way, I find soul-decaying. And I choose, albeit frustratingly to other people in my life, not to expose myself to too much of that. And what that has translated into is that I live in a country that I absolutely love, in a city that I am awakened by and educated by on a daily basis."

...After tackling Edith Wharton and now Dickens, it's easy to imagine that she has a bookcase filled with Penguin Classics at home. But she was unfamiliar with Bleak House till she was approached for the project. Most of her upcoming work, she says, is contemporary. For her, it's all about good writing.

August 2008:

So, what's it been like pinning on your FBI badges again?

Gillian Anderson: It's been good. But hard work. It's been a long time since I've done such a long shoot – I've chosen things between three and six weeks, and this has been the first time for ages that I've done two-and-a-half months. David has a lot of physical stuff to do in the film, and I feel like on the one hand I've gotten off easy and on the other hand I'm still exhausted. I just feel old. (Laughs) ...The shoot was pretty gruelling on everyone. The cold, the long nights... Some of the crew were saying it was the hardest one they'd ever done. I got pretty sick, and at one point my son had scratched my cornea, so I was doing shots with a red eye and snot coming out of my nose. Look out for those ones.

A lot of fans were unhappy with the way it ended, which was, it has to be said, with a whimper rather than a bang. Do you concede that they have a point?

Anderson: You know what? By the time it was done I couldn't even have a conversation about it. I don't have enough of a perspective to say whether questions were answered or whether it was all wrapped up, and honestly, there's part of me that doesn't care. I'm sympathetic to die-hard fans who might feel left in short shrift, but...

Feb 2016:

Was it easy to convince you to film this new season?

I didn't like the idea at first. When we were shooting the show twenty years ago, we were young, grateful, ready to give it our all, and we had no personal lives. Today, I have three children, a husband, and various commitments. So the producers and Fox did everything they could to make things easier for me. And I signed on…

... I really liked the idea of ​​giving fans what they've been wanting for a long time. Namely, the return of the two heroes, but also all the ingredients that made the series a success, from its mythology to the "monster of the week" and its comedic aspects. There too, I think we succeeded in this challenge.

So The X-Files would definitely be a television series, not a movie franchise...

A series—as everyone in the audiovisual world agrees today—offers the freedom to develop a main plot, but also its ramifications, its characters, their connections, and many other aspects. Chris Carter, for example, explored throughout The X-Files a mythology and a subtle sense of irony that one, two, or even three movies cannot capture. All of this is reflected in the new series.

December 28, 2015:

...Anderson’s being back on The X-Files seems oddly seamless.

Indeed, she’s somewhat surprised it’s taken this long to happen. Along with Duchovny and X-Files creator Chris Carter, she always thought there could be a third feature film. “I think we realized that we needed to wrap up the story in some way,” she suggested. But “we got to a point where that was clearly not going to be possible.” Certainly not on TV, since neither actor could imagine going back to 20-plus episodes a year. But once networks began to see that short stacks of series could be a feasible formula, the three of them were ready to try.

January 2016:

Sure, there have been X-Files movies, but when the last season ended it seemed unlikely there would ever be a television series again.  Until recently, a new show would have meant making another 24 episodes - something not remotely possible for David or me.  So it wasn’t until TV networks became more open-minded about shorter series that it even became a possibility. David took the lead and ran with it, but it took me a while to catch up.  In other words: over my dead body.  But I reconsidered, and it suddenly started to sound as if it might be the only feasible way for us to achieve closure while giving the fans a taste of what they had been clamouring for.  Also, I figured it might possibly be quite fun.

...If we didn’t know it already by the time we wrapped this latest series, David and I were both profoundly aware of how lucky we have been.  How fortunate we are to have played these two characters who have had such an impact on television, defined a genre, found affection with so many people - and lasted for so many years.

February 22, 2017:

You don’t miss it at all, something that’s been a huge part of your life. And actually, life-changing?

Um. I wouldn’t say I miss it [The X-Files], no. I mean, there are other… things that I’ve done that I would say that I miss more. And I don’t know how much of it is because I played her for so such a long time that I… that it doesn’t feel…. It was long enough, in a sense. I miss… I would say I miss Blanche in Streetcar more than I miss Scully or even Stella from The Fall. Yeah, there are characters that I miss. 

April 4, 2024:

So does that mean Anderson, 55, will put her dark suit back on as FBI agent Scully to investigate more shadowy cases involving the paranormal?

“There’s a chance it will happen,” she said. “Whether I’m involved in it is a whole other thing. But in his hands — but I’m not saying no — because I think (Coogler) is really cool, and I think if he did it, it would probably be done incredibly well, and maybe I’ll pop in for a little somethin-somethin.”

November 2024:

A teenaged William became a key figure in the overarching Season 11 narrative, while Scully became a more passive character by the end of the season (leading to the announcement of yet another surprise pregnancy in the Season 11 finale). “It felt like Scully’s trajectory was no longer one of strength and agency,” Anderson said on the podcast. “It felt like it was beholden to an old idea of what a woman is… Literally all she could talk about was William and finding William. That’s literally a one-track song.”

Anderson also said that “I wasn’t really enjoying the direction that it was heading… and I didn’t have a voice in it. And so I felt like I needed to move on to something where I might have more of a voice.”

Additionally, Anderson and Duchovny touched on the fact that in 2000, Duchovny also quit the show without discussing it with Anderson first, something for which he took the opportunity to apologize. But she said that, “[At the time], I thought at first I thought, well, then we’re both going to [quit], because clearly I can’t go on without him. I don’t think I blamed you at all. I don’t think I was upset.”

April 16, 2025:

During his conversation on The Last Podcast on the Left, however, he [Ryan Coogler] was asked – half jokingly – about whether he had spoken to Gillian Anderson. He not only confirmed he had, but that he was “hopeful” something might come of it, which suggests a new series could well still feature the original characters in some capacity. This aligns with Anderson confirming to Today she had spoken with Coogler about the idea last year....

CONCLUSION

Gillian, like a phoenix, is apt to cyclical rebirth and redefinition.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[chevelleneech]

There must be someway people can meet in the middle on the topic of Eddie Diaz. He is neither a villain (I truly don’t know why people hate him) nor is he a helpless man in need.

Do I think saying he needs to grow a spine is fair? No, because he grew up in an emotionally manipulative and strictly religious home, was forced to marry as a teenager, and became a teen father.

However, Eddie is also a 30+ year old man who, like it or not, has to make decision for both himself and his child. Chris isn’t a kid anymore, which is how he ended up in El Paso to begin with. He has always been a capable person with resources to get what he wants or needs, so it’s not surprising that he’d run as far away from Eddie as he could the second something so drastic happened.

They said, there does need to come a point when Eddie tells his parents to sit down and be quiet. I’m hoping the show gets us to that point, as it seems like it could be getting set up in 8x13, so fingers crossed.

I also want to say, I think the issue revolving around the Díaz parents, is likely to be that Tim and the writers of today and previous seasons do not know how to make bad parents stay unforgiven.

The Buckleys, The elder Nashes, senior Mr. Han, and the Diazes all fucking suck! All of them, and while I do understand that for television some of them needed to be redeemed, we got literally ALL OF THEM. Time will tell if Helena and Ramon get fully redeemed, but Ramon is already being written in a way that gives him a littler more grace, even though him leaving the family and telling Eddie to man up and take care of everything was shitty thing to do. Made worse by him adding on the pressure to enlist and hand over custody of his kid.

So again, trash, but at least we’re finally seemingly about to dive in and get a resolution. That said… this is a storyline that has not wrapped up in SEVEN SEASONS. Eddie has been the single vet struggling to give his son a normal life, since season two. He’s been haunted by Shannon’s death, since season two. People are tired.

It would be one thing if they gave him more juicy storylines to sink his teeth into, like friends from the military. We had a whole ptsd shutdown some seasons ago, that amounted to nothing. Why could he have friends who actually lived? Why couldn’t he have made more vet friends who also dealt with being the sole survivor of their units? (Side note: This did actually happen, right? I’m not making this really good tidbit of canon up or pulling it from a fic, because it’s what Eddie actually deserved yet didn’t get?)

Anyway, my point is, Eddie has so many tiny bits of info floating in the background of his character, yet the writers have yet to do anything with them. They also have the chance to not make him “grow a spine”, but perhaps that can be something said to him in canon by someone who doesn’t know him well. His loved ones would never say it, because they’d take his feelings into it, but sometimes we need to hear our hard truths from strangers. And a hard truth for Eddie, would very much be, “Who gives a fuck what your parents want!” As well as, “Christoper is not an adult. He does not get to tell you how to raise him nor where.”

For the former, Eddie needs to have someone tell him it’s okay to say and feel that, because it is. His parents do not have as much authority as they believe they do, because that’s not how parenting works. You cannot proclaim custody of your child’s child, when your child is a very grown adult, has helped down multiple stable jobs, has provided around the clock care, and kept a roof over your grandchild’s head and food in their stomach.

Chris is extremely far from being abused or neglected, and prior to moving back to Texas, Eddie had no reason to think anyone would be able to legally take his child away. Now, unless he figures his shit out, that’s no longer true. He lives in a dilapidated house and has next to no source of income.

Regarding the latter, as much as I respect Eddie allowing Chris room to breathe and live life away from the city that his mother died in, there’s no need to ruin his own life and livelihood to go back to a place he hated, to his parents who do not respect him. I know they did it for tv, I get it, but as far as speaking l these characters like real people in their universe, I need them to allow Eddie this realization.

Chris is a teenager still learning how to process his emotions, and he was given space to do that. Eddie gave him that time, but now? Now it’s time to come home and talk. Hell, even just going to El Paso to talk is fine, but I need Eddie to realize he’s making a huge mistake. That house is a money pit, and Ubering people around is not going to pay all the bills he needs paid.

I think Chris is also old enough to be told about Eddie’s own childhood. To be told that becoming a parent at a young age was incredibly difficult for him and Shannon, and ultimately was the reason they didn’t work out. I need the writers of the show to stop treating Chris like a baby too, if I’m honest. Let them have more mature conversations. May, Harry, Denny, and even Mara have all gone through some serious shit, yet Chris till just… a cute kid who gets upset sometimes and hugs his dad, basically.

Anyway, this post kind of derailed and likely has a ton of typos, but it’s what I hope the show aims for in some way. It’s what I would like more people to also want out of Eddie. He’s not a bad guy, but wanting him to step up more in terms of sticking up for himself against his parents is fine too. Again, mainly because I am really and truly ready for him to move on from the same storyline he’s been on since he arrived in the series.

[angstyandromanticwriting]

☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

Honey’s Prompt & Haiku Masterlist

☾☦︎︎ For all the OG Readers out there! ☦︎︎☽

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First Things First…

Yes, About You is still here! I decided pretty easily to keep it a part of my wonderful humble abode, here! I just believe that it will always be an immensely suiting vibe for my writing, and I would like to keep it as part of my lovely readers’ experiences as you indulge in the ideas I love to share with all of you!

If you wish to do so, please feel free to have a look at my Ko-fi page!

As a follow on, here is the link to my ao3 (Archive of Our Own) page if you wish to have a look!

Minors DNI!!!

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A Little More About What I’ve Got Going Here…

Long story short, I’ve been wanting to put something like this together for a little while, now, and here I am finally doing it after being given the final encouraging push by a very lovely and dear friend of mine! (* Cough, cough * You know who you are! * More devilish spluttering; cough, cough.) Anyway! Here is what you can expect from what you’re to see below this lovely ramble of mine…

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My Prompts & Haikus; The Ones I Shall Be Sharing Here…

I dare say there’s a lot that can be expected, here! I intend on posting many of my recent workings, alongside some of the older ones! In regard to later-dated works, I am aiming to only utilise the ones that have more hope of being updated, as well as ones which have the lesser of the latter (specifically referring to the ideas I’ve put together since my coming out last year!)

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Digging More Into the Flesh of My Workings…

After this miniature paragraph is complete, I can then promise you that the links to my candidates will be available below! First, however, I would like to quickly give names to the faces at the centre of my current ideas:

Molly O’Shea;

Ellie Williams;

Cynthia Hammond (an OC - Reneé Rapp based);

Harley Quinn (specifically the Margot Robbie version, interlinked with some aspects of Rachael Allen’s writing of such an iconic character);

Reneé Rapp as Reneé Rapp (yes, I was being bold that day - EXCEPTIONALLY);

Embry Hawthorn (an OC - Margot Robbie based, this time - I like having a range of ideas to write for, clearly, and I’m not sure how I’m only realising that today at this point);

Regina George (Reneé Rapp version);

Louisiana Rose (another OC, also Margot Robbie based);

Vera Alfrey (a further Margot Robbie based OC again);

Leighton Murray (of course I’m writing for Leighton bloody Murray - trust me to do that, honestly)

Angela Orosco (Silent Hill 2 Remake)

Ones which are not included here, for example the writings I have previously worked upon based around Margot Robbie herself (e.g as herself, as well as her portrayal of Barbra Handler), I have recently decided will also be discontinued unless I decide to revive them in the near future!

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The Links (Finally)…

Below is attached now the links to each of my character pages, separate - or joint together - depending on the character you choose (depending on whether they have a separate portrayer/face-claim or not) - choose wisely; a vast field is stood here, comprising of some interesting pathways… I guess my final question would be - will you flounder on the pathway you choose, or will you strive upon it? I guess we shall see, shall we?

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‘The Molly O’Shea Pathway’

☾☦︎︎ Venture, if you dare. ☦︎︎☽

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‘The Ellie Williams Pathway’

☾☦︎︎ Venture, if you dare. ☦︎︎☽

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‘The Reneé Rapp Pathway’

☾☦︎︎ Venture, if you dare. ☦︎︎☽

Consists of the many different portrayals I’ve listed above; if you’re searching for the specifics in regard to the character/idea you’ve chosen you’d like to indulge in as portrayed by Reneé Rapp herself, this is where you’ll find them!

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‘The Angela Orosco Pathway’

☾☦︎︎ Venture, if you dare. ☦︎︎☽

☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

‘The Margot Robbie Pathway’

☾☦︎︎ Under Construction! ☦︎︎☽

Same aspect of the ‘Reneé Rapp Pathway’; if you seek an idea/character of specific personality or characteristic - including that of Harley Quinn - you will find it here!

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In Conclusion…

I certainly am very happy to have finally put this together! If anything changes; things get added new, or re-added, I will be sure to let you all know as soon as I possibly can! If anything isn’t working in regard to the links above, please feel free to let me know! I want you all to enjoy the experience you choose to indulge in within here, and I think it’s special for me to have an official Masterlist (finally) such as this, and I look forward to updating it accordingly overtime! Please, have a lovely rest of the day, everyone, and I look forward to seeing you all again soon! Until next time, happy exploration! And I have been, as usual - your ever faithful, H.H. 💜

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[mrhaitch]

hi mr haitch!

i received a lovely response from haitch that has helped me quite a bit in processing and working on my fear of death. however, i saw a post of yours just now and it made me think. it was your response to someone basically arguing about democrats and republicans, and your opinion on the potential impacts of another trump presidency. so i ask, as a fellow non american, how do i not feel so anxious about this? i try to think that no, trump is not going to cause the heat death of the earth, but it freaks me out.

as an australian, i can say that we are quite influenced in america. just the other day, coming back from my university counselling, there were two young women wearing MAGA hats on the train just days after he got in. it infuriated me, though everyone is allowed their own opinion (even if it makes me want to rip my eyeballs out and throw them at them). how do i not think that this is the end of the world? for some it is. i have heard far too many people expose their genuine plans for suicide now that trump is in. someone said they are taking their girlfriend out for one last dinner and they’re committing together. that horrifies me to my core.

in my state, we recently just elected our state premier, which is now a party i would describe as on the right, for an easy comparison. abortions, breast cancer screenings, and thousands of hospital staff are to be cut. children committing crimes will be doing adult time, which i can only imagine you understand just how antithetical that is to actually solving the problem. after this election, there was a nazi rally in our central city. i worry that with trump’s election, it might truly come home to us.

so, how do i not feel so scared?

on a side note, i HAVE to ask your opinions on deathcore? i’m seeing thy art is murder and brand of sacrifice in a few days, and i saw ice nine kills and amity affliction today! i’m seeing lorna shore and to the grave in feb, TTG is a super cool deathcore band from NSW here in aus! even things like suffocation, dying fetus, infant annihilator, or cannibal corpse? (and the terrifier series if you have watched them!)

but yeah, it’s a weird time to be alive, but i want to believe that after this, we will not have to experience it again. perhaps someone will have better aim, we will never know.

this is far too long, so have a good night or day!

As time goes by, I find myself more convinced by Foucault's writings on biopower - and especially when it comes to anxiety.

We need to start thinking about how we're defining anxiety: when we talk about it do we mean the emotion arising, rationally, from a particular stimulus? Or do we mean generalised, non-specific anxiety which arises from a disease or abnormality in the mind? The latter needs treatment - the former needs scrutiny, but also not to be ignored or discarded.

The fear many of us are feeling right now is rational. We feel it for a reason - fear is what keeps you alive in moments of danger. It helps us think and move faster. It helps us see clearer (if we learn to direct and control it). While it can be a hard emotion to sit with, we can't push it away or try to treat it. Use that fear to motivate you to build connections with the people around you, to organise, to strengthen community bonds if the worst happens and you need people to support you.

So the short answer: you don't need to get rid of your fear.

Now for the second part:

I'm really not a fan of deathcore. I know it's the genre of the moment, but it's never really done it for me (and I say this as someone who previously moonlighted for a deathcore band a few years ago). Call it personal taste, but I feel that there's a race to the bottom with regards to guitar tuning: everyone is going lower and lower and you end up with a bass heavy mush with little articulation. Everyone starts slamming the lower strings, more than one breakdown per song, etc.

(very much old man shaking his fist at the eyounger generations)

With that said I'm a big fan of cannibal corpse (although, let's be real, they are very much OG Florida death metal) and quite like Ice Nine Kills. One band I am quite excited about, though, is a UK local act who blend elements of deathcore with black and death metal. Link below:

[twistedtummies2]

Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 11

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! Today’s entry is truly a Tale as Old as Time. Number 11 is…Beauty and the Beast.

Of all fifteen films on this list, the four-part stretch between 11th and 8th place was the hardest bunch of movies to sort out. I knew what films made up this particular section of the countdown, but ranking them was a lot tougher. To try and work things out, I first took time to revisit all the films basically back-to-back. Then I asked myself a few questions: how much would I like to play a part in the film (such as in a stage production)? Similarly, how often have I written about or would like to write about each movie’s world? How often do I reference this movie or talk about it in general? Which world and story would I like to write most for? And finally, which picture do I have the most general nostalgia for? Unfortunately, after asking myself these questions, and revisiting the films, “Beauty and the Beast” – perhaps shockingly, to many – lost out the contest. Do not misconstrue this, however, to mean that I dislike the movie, or think it has less merits than the other three to come above it. In some ways, I think it’s the technical best of the movies in question…but again, there’s a difference between “best” and “favorite,” and if certain earlier entries have not made it clear, the latter is really what I’m talking about with this countdown, not the former. But now, let’s focus on the positives, because – needless to say – there are MANY positives. The original fairy-tale of “Beauty and the Beast” has become just as much a trope, in and of itself, as it is a classic story. Disney’s version changed several elements of the original tale, and virtually all of them were for the better. Long before “Frozen,” this film essentially acted as a subversion and deconstruction of a lot of Disney staples from years before, while still being its own great story with incredible artistry and wonderful characters and music. In a way, you can see this as the direct precursor to a lot of modern Disney movies, with a heroine and a hero who learn from each other and have complex personalities, writing that has an ironic sense of humor, and a villain who does not at first SEEM to be the villain…although Gaston, admittedly, works very differently from characters like Hans or Bellwether, but that’s another story. The film is largely regarded as one of the single best Disney movies ever made, and it’s not hard to see why. Indeed, it’s fitting I bring up “Frozen” so much, because when that film came out, the common phrase I heard everyone use to describe it was, “It’s the next Beauty and the Beast!” While I do like “Frozen,” I think I’ll always prefer this film. I love it’s sense of artistry; its visual style and the feeling of size and splendor that comes with it. I love how it’s subtle and simple with its messages and themes, being both layered and yet totally easy to get a grasp of. I love how it takes so many fantastical concepts and characters, yet makes them feel so real and so easy to empathize with. SO…why isn’t it in my Top 10? Simply put, if you look back on the criteria I named, it actually ranks the lowest on all counts. I don’t watch Beauty and the Beast that often, compared to the other three movies, and I don’t quote Beauty and the Beast that often (except for the songs). I’ve never really written for it and do not currently plan to (nor expect to), and of the four films in question, it’s the one I’d least like to play a part in…although, to clarify, I’d still love to be in it. Cogsworth and LeFou both sound like tons of fun to play…just saying. 0:) The countdown moves into my Top 10 tomorrow, with my 10th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: It Never Gets Old.

[veronicaleighauthor]

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries

“Pride and Prejudice” is a timeless classic, and the basis for many of today’s romcoms. Boy meets girl, boy offends girl, girl hates boy, girl inspires boy to become a better man, boy and girl live happily ever after. There have been countless updated retellings. Countless. Most of the Hallmark Movies are reminiscent of this trope. “You Got Mail” is by far one of the more popular ones. The Mormons have their version in “Pride & Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy.” There’s “Bride & Prejudice” a Bollywood version; a version where Lizzy and Darcy take on Zombies; and the murder mystery, “Death Comes to Pemberly.” I’m not even going to mention all of the novels flooding the market are “Pride and Prejudice” inspired. I love a new spin on an old classic…but let’s not beat a dead horse. Austen is a genius and considering all of the romcoms, remakes, retellings, the recycled “Pride and Prejudice” formula can feel worn out. Or worse, cheapened.

One afternoon, I noticed my sister looking at her phone, earbuds in, laughing out loud.

            “Veronica, you have got to see this!” She insisted, when she finished watching a video. “It’s a new, updated ‘Pride and Prejudice’ on YouTube. It’s called ‘The Lizzie Bennet Diaries.’ It’s hilarious!”

I nodded, but wasn’t too enthused with the idea. As I mentioned above, I had had my fill of “Pride and Prejudice” knock offs. Often the actors fall short in their portrayals of the characters. Or the 19th century manners, customs, and plotlines don’t translate well to the 21st century. Example – Lydia running off with Wickham, living out of wedlock in London, and having to marry to save her from complete ruin. While it wasn’t fair in the book, considering they lived in Georgian/Regency England, Lydia and Wickham had to marry. However, in the 21st century, reputations aren’t “ruined” if people live together. Also, in this modern era, women have more rights, freedoms, education, and money, which doesn’t make it imperative for them to marry at all if they don’t want to.

A few weeks later, I tuned into the first episode. Then the second, third…and so on. There were a hundred episodes in all and of an evening before turning in, I watched a handful. Lizzie Bennet, a grad student who lives at home and is up to her eyeballs in debt, is intent on having a lucrative career and decides to do a vlog series for a class. The audience gradually meets the large cast of characters in Lizzie’s life…her sisters sweet Jane and wild Lydia, her bestie Charlotte Lu, new comers Bing and Caroline Lee. A few are left to our imaginations, or end up in Lizzie’s comical reenactments. The one who she mocks most in her imitations is Darcy, a friend of Bing’s, who’s snobbish and rude behavior offends her. The story (which mirrors the original in a round about way) plays out before the camera, or is reenacted. Darcy continues to be illusive, until episode sixty, when the man himself makes an impromptu cameo.

The series of misunderstandings are eventually solved, and Darcy and Lizzie surrender their pride and prejudice, and allow themselves to fall in love. Their relationship is a marriage of true minds. As much as I enjoyed this new take on an old classic, it was many of the side characters whose story arcs intrigued me.

When Bing Lee returns to reunite with Jane, rather than jump at the chance of reconciling, Jane is offered an explanation and apology. She has plans put in motion in regards to her career, and instead of forfeiting her dreams, Bing Lee follows her lead and supports her.

Charlotte Lu isn’t condemned for accepting Mr. Collins’ proposal…of a job. While Lizzie might question her motives and happiness, we see Charlotte content with her choices and she has a way out of her financial woes. She can help provide for her mother and younger sister too.

Best of all, Lydia is not conveniently married off to Wickham at the story’s end. Lydia is not the one-dimensional, selfish ditz shown in some adaptations/retellings. She is a well-rounded, three-dimensional young woman. We feel compassion when she makes mistakes and is manipulated, and we can rejoice when she thrives after her association with Wickham ends.

I’ve watched The Lizzie Bennet Diaries multiple times and it never gets old. There’s something about it, especially during this pandemic, that is heartwarming. The oddball Bennet’s remind me of my own family. I’ve laughed and cried with this version, as much as I have with the original.

And you know what, I think it’s time for me to tune into it again. You can watch it for free on Youtube! I’ll even link the first episode here.

[youhavethewrong]

Horror/Comedy: The most elusive genre of fiction

 In many regards, it is easy to consider Horror and Comedy to be about as opposite as two genres can go. Horror seeks to cause dread and fear in the viewers, while comedy (usually) seeks to comfort them and improve their moods. A good comedy can help you feel better after a bad day - a good horror can completely ruin a good one. Maybe this is why these two don’t often collide. Another reason could be that although Comedy is easily combined with other genres, like the RomCom, Horror is hardly ever mixed. More often than not, it just branches out into other kinds of horror, like Psychological horror or Slashers.

 However, something that is easy to forget is that Comedy and Horror are far more similar than one would assume. Both rely heavily in misdirection, surprising the viewer with an unexpected result. Both require perfect timing to pull off, and... well, this is not really related to my point here, but both have a tendency to be done reaaally badly when the people making them don’t care. Hack Comedy uses the not-actually-funny shorthand of fart jokes and falling down, while Hack Horror uses the not-actually-scary shorthand of jumpscares and loud sounds. Anyways.

 So if they supposedly go hand-in-hand so well, why is it they almost never meet? How come there’s almost no horror/comedy? Well, for starters, they’re each separately extremely difficult to pull off. Making someone laugh is not fucking easy, and neither is scaring someone. They require tremendous amount of talent and effort to do separately, so at the same time? When they already feel opposite? Forget about it! Secondly, it’s already quite difficult to picture something that is equals parts funny and scary. How would you even do that??

The first thing that came to mind when thinking about horror/comedies were those Scary Movie movies. Though I don’t really think they fall into horror territory? They’re not scary at all, they’re just spoof movies. They don’t even come up with their own ideas, they just borrow from popular horror. And they’re not even fucking funny. Comedy (in quotes) with horror elements, not what I’m looking for.

 Then I started looking for artists that are good at making both Comedy and Horror. The one with the biggest audience right now is obviously Jordan Peele. It’s certainly curious to think how he went from making a sketch show to becoming a horror movie director! There’s certainly a conversation to be had about how making the former helped him become better at the latter. Problem is, he either makes one or the other, not both at the same time. So is he what I’m looking for at the moment? Nope!

 Then my mind then went to a favorite of mine: Jack Stauber. His unique way of creating art has allowed him to make both hilarious comedy and touchingly deep horror. His masterpiece Opal is one of the most unique takes on the Horror genre I’ve seen! It’s not only stop-motion, which is quite rare, but a musical, which is even rarer! However, that one’s just horror. What about his individual sketches? The one that got closest to what I’m looking for right now is Future, though it’s... pretty hard to say it’s a joke? I’m sure some people would find it funny, but it’s difficult to say whether it was intended as such.

 Don’t worry though, I didn’t come here just to talk about an idea that I thought of with 0 examples. The whole reason I wanted to make this post talking about Horror/Comedy is because I watched the perfect example, and it made me realize that I hadn’t seen much else quite like it. And the example I watched came... from The Onion

 Although The Onion hasn’t been on its... best streak lately - mostly reposting articles from 7 years ago and making unimpressive TikToks - the Youtube content they created in the late 2000′s early 2010′s was... brilliant. And I don’t mean that as in “funny”, I mean that as in brilliant. Expertly written, produced, and performed layered comedy that drove points home. In The Know with Clifford Banes, and Today Now! being two of my favorite pieces of satire comedy. The Onion also seems particularly qualified to tackle Horror/Comedy, as the heart of their satire was pushing the inherent darkness and cruelty of the 24 hour news cycle to its highest possible, most absurd degree. And tackle it they did, in their 9-episode mini series Porkin’ Across America

 Porkin’ Across America is a parody of travel shows, where Jim Haggerty, host of morning news show Today Now!, travels around the 50 states looking for the best pork he can find. As this happens, his life starts steadily falling apart in the background, unraveling into a grotesque cacophony of errors. This show is, in my opinion, the best example of the Horror/Comedy genre. Because it’s not just comedy with horror elements, or horror with comedy elements: it’s the perfect combination of the two. The setup - misdirection structure that gives both genres their kick is used in tandem, intertwined. Punchlines to jokes are also horrifying revelations and imagery. I won’t spoil the ending, but I’ll just say this: the last line that is uttered is both the hilarious punchline to a series-long running joke, and such a horrible thing to say at that moment that it will send shivers down your spine. I highly recommend watching it, but be warned: the specific type of horror this show uses is body horror. You’ll be laughing, but you’ll also be extremely uncomfortable by the imagery. Definitely avoid this if that’s not your thing.

 Horror/Comedy is one of the rarest genre combinations in fiction, for a variety of reasons. It’s difficult to pull off, horror hardly mixes with other things, and most people don’t even know it can exist. But it can! And when it’s done well it’s an extremely unique experience, one that I believe is worth experiencing.

 I hope my explanation of this topic was clear enough, and I’m really excited to hear what you guys think! Can you think of any other work that could be defined with this genre? If so, I’d really like to hear it~

 Thank you for reading this whole stupid thing if you did! Yui OUT!

[dailycharacteroption]

Draconic Druid (Druid Archetype)

(art by vest on DeviantArt)

 A good long while ago, we covered the dragon shaman archetype for the druid class. A variant on the various “animal shaman” archetypes from Advanced Player’s Guide, it represented about as far as they were willing to push the concept back then. After all, dragons were, while excellent representations of elemental fury, beyond the normal ken of nature magic… right?

While I still feel like that archetype has a place in the game, today’s subject takes it further, firmly believing that despite their supernatural nature, dragons are a part of the natural world, so much so that they devote themselves fully to draconic shapeshifting, and to bonding with a drake companion (using the rules from Legacy of Dragons).

The history of this archetype is a sort of snapshot of how the Pathfinder system slowly grew beyond the confines of the 3.5 framework that it was spawned from. As someone who was here for most of that journey, it really is fascinating to look back on.

But I digress. The draconic druid and the dragon shaman can still exist together in the same world, the latter more focused on emulating reflections of draconic might in the reptilian world, while the former actively attempts to accept the true power of dragons into their very being.

 Giving up many draconic abilities, these druids learn to attract and bind to themselves a mighty drake companion, which can emulate all manner of drake species and roles, or might represent something unique. However, like all drake companions, they are extremely difficult to replace.

As one might expect, the knowledge these mystics attain regarding dragons makes them well-versed in their lore, but also in the dangerous powers and abilities of such beings and how best to avoid and resist them.

Rather than wild shape into a wide variety of forms, they instead grow scales and fangs, taking on a fierce draconic, but otherwise humanoid aspect. As they grow in power, they can use double the normal energy to transform fully into a man-sized dragon, and later into a larger dragon.

If you’re interested in playing a druid, but with a distinctive draconic flair, this might be what you’re looking for, both with a customizable drake companion and the ability to (eventually) shapeshift into a dragon. That being said, you do give up a lot of defensive and utility abilities, so keep that in mind.

In any case, the customizable nature of the drake companion lends itself to a lot of different build types, such as a flying mount, a flanking companion, or even combined ranged artillery and support. Also, don’t forget that druids also get their own draconic polymorph spell at higher levels: form of the exotic dragon, which grants them primal dragon forms!

 It’s appropriate that I bring up the primal dragons, as their connection to the elemental planes gives them special significance to druids. Alas, as written the wild shape of this archetype does not cover the Form of the Exotic Dragon spells, but if you want to replace or even add those form to their wild shape with some homebrewing, I’m sure nobody would mind.

  In the middle of the night, a drake and rider smash through the sliding screen door of a local daimyo’s mansion, creating quite the ruckus and sending the guards into a frenzy. The rider, a druid versed in the mystic arts, claims that the daimyo’s bride is in fact a rokurokubi in disguise.

 Called the Drake Tamer by bards and contemporaries, the vine leshy Moon Dew doesn’t consider himself the master of his companion Alexaar, but rather, his partner, the two having mutual respect for each other. Together, the two patrol the forest for threats against the natural order.

 Desert drakes are an uncommon sight in the dunes of Misabur. While most are little more than predators, those that dwell close to the constant light of the Whiteshard become curious about the whispers emanating from it, and seek to learn from the humanoids that wander under its glow.

[marchenkonig]

I’ve been thinking a lot about religion lately, and my relationship with it. I am not a religious person, but I was raised in a very religious household. My parents, their parents, and my parents parents were all members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Mormons. Pretty much all the way back to when Joseph smith came up with his first get rich quick scheme my family has been part of and supporting the Mormon church. This has lead to my relationship with the religion to be super complicated in so many different ways, and has left a profound mark on me I will never shake. I’m not special in that regard, everyone who’s left can say the exact same thing. I’ve been really pondering on that lately, which has lead me to the discovery I’m posting about today.

I just want to make this clear right up front: I’m not here to insult or make fun of anybody. I felt the need to make this post when I found the Queerstake tag here on tumblr. It’s a group that profoundly saddens me. I’ve never seen a group so deeply in denial before in my life. The king and short of it is that they’re mormons who are also queer. If you know anything about mormons, you might see some conflicting beliefs in that statement. This group made me so sad, reading through their posts. So clearly so many of them hate being in the church, but have never lived a life where there were any alternatives. Posts begging the church leadership to not make them choose between their sexuality and their faith. Posts complaining about how every 6 months the leadership stands up in front of every mormon on earth in a broadcast that is mandatory to view, and condemns them and their lifestyle. Posts that start asking deep questions if the church, ones that really scrutinize it, that get so close to understanding the truth, and then miss the mark at the last second.

It really hurt me to read this because I remember being in a similar place. Trying my best to love myself in a world I felt like not only did I not belong, but also hated me. Praying to god every day to please help me understand only to be met with silence. Crying myself to sleep at night, feeling just so guilty about being who I am. Talking to people I trust only to be met with the mantra “doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith” as if I wasn’t riddled with enough self doubt at the time. Tricking myself into believing in the church because knowing god had a plan for me was much less scary than accepting that I had to figure it out myself.

And it wasn’t all bad. A sense of community I that I almost fit into, a set of rules to follow. It was even good at times. Rituals are good for anxiety, and what is prayer but meditation. Sometimes, I felt the “”spirit”” too (which is insidious for its own reasons. We’re taught that good feelings or that feeling of making the right choice is not our selves but god/the Holy Ghost telling us that feeling is correct, and not a conclusion we came to by ourselves) but of course this wasn’t the divine doing of god, it was just… people. My friends, my family, myself. It wasn’t god it was people. I get the same feelings hanging out with my friends as I did on church sanctioned camping trips. Bearing my heart out to people I love late at night is the same as bearing my testimony. Breathing exercises when I’m panicking are the same as the prayers I reflexively said any time i got nervous. And now I’m aloud to love myself and make my own decisions and know I’m the one making them instead of some outside force! And the best part of all of this? It comes without all the negative downsides and baggage the same experiences in the church gave me!

At the end of the day, I don’t know if there’s a god or not. I don’t really think about it, but I do know this. If there’s a loving being out there, all they would want is for you to be a good person. God wouldn’t care if you followed a checklist of arbitrary rules, just that you tried your god damn best to be a kind and positive force in the world, and if that’s not comforting I don’t know what is. Everything else is just arbitrary bullshit. Be who you are, you don’t need the church. I love all of you struggling with what I struggled with. You will find your people, I promise. You don’t need the church.

[lettrespromises]

#LettresPromises informs you : You have one notification.

──➤ Roronoa Zoro sent you a love letter to celebrate +400 followers, would you like to read it?

@newfriendjen sent a letter : ❝Hi Friend! Congrats again on your 400!! You definitely deserve many more! If you still have a spot open for you event (ignore if you filled them!), can I request: Smut Prompt #15 with Zoro 😏 please and thank you so much!❞ the author sent a letter : ❝dear jen, to say i got a bit carried while writing this is a bit of an understatement! but i hope you’ll like it as much as i liked writing it, all while cackling like a villain as i was writing this. thank you tons for the sweet words, you are such a sweetheart and i’m so lucky to know you! sending you lots of love! sealed with a kiss, nikki.❞

──➤ Prompt used : #15 “Look at what you’re doing to me.” ─➤ Genre : Smut. ➤ Warnings : MINORS DO NOT READ THIS, 18+ ONLY. Sexual intercourse, jealous sex, mild degradation, choking, biting, cunninlingus, penetration, spanking (once), sir kink.

The weather of the New World was often unforgiving, unpredictable, and at times, untamable. Sometimes, Mother Nature showed she was capable of crossing the limit of Nami’s extended knowledge regarding climate (and God knows her brain was severely infused with every secrets regarding the different kinds of weather, rendering her as a living, walking encyclopedia.) But alas, sometimes the rage of Mother Nature would be thrown upon any poor ship unready to face her wrath in the forms of undying tornados and waves that could reach the sky.

Hence why, every morning, Nami’s prediction on today’s weather was awaited by all, very much like a prophecy which was often set to come true— and if said prophecy announced any kind of weather gravitating around the lexical field of a natural catastrophe, one wouldn’t be surprised to perceive Usopp down on his knees in a praying position, diverse and unintelligible wishes to survive Mother Nature’s anger.

Much to the crew’s collective joy, the navigator had announced the most ideal weather— sunshine, a slight breeze and no cloud in sight, what appeared to be a regular weather in heaven. And, why of course, such a hot weather meant that both Nami and the local archeologist, Nico Robin, would bathe under the sun and relieve any kind of tension which had settled in after several fights (or just the exhaustion of having to deal with Luffy on a daily basis.)

And there you were, standing like a mannequin in the girls’ room in company of Nami and Robin, the latter throwing you an amused look at the way Nami was comparing which bikini would look better on you— the red one, an appeal for passion, or the black one, a statement of boldness? Her brows furrowed in unison at her poor attempt to make a decision, comparing how the colors married the shade of your skin.

« Robin, how are we feeling about the red bikini? It’s so cute, but I have a feeling something is missing… » The navigator wondered, her gaze falling on the taller woman next to her.

Robin couldn’t refrain from allowing a giggle from leaving her lips, surely it meant that she had her idea, an ill-intentioned one, that is. And, oh well, to say she had just a mere idea was an understatement : as she remained still, Robin summoned a couple of limbs to look for a green-colored bikini hidden in the drawers only to bring it to Nami’s attention. The two women shared a teasing glance, as if they communicated intentions filled with mischief through their eyes alone.

« I do believe something was missing, too. » Robin trailed off, bringing an index under her chin. « Something that might appeal to a certain swordsman. »

The evil cackle falling from Nami’s lips announced nothing good, and the sweet tone of her voice only deepened that sentiment. « You know how the saying goes : great minds think alike. »

« Hold on, what are you—… » You began, only to be cut off by the navigator, « Yeah, yeah, whatever you have to say, Y/N. We’re not fools, you know? You’re going to look like a real stunner with this bikini on, and I know that a certain someone won’t be able to resist. » She concluded her sentence with a wink sent your way, boy, sometimes you did understand why Zoro called her a witch at times.

« Join us when you’re ready, Y/N. I’m intrigued to see how this will go. » Concluded Robin, accompanying Nami towards the door to let you some privacy so you could change into the bikini, not that you have never changed in front of them and vice versa, but oh well.

You were now all alone, still haven’t moved an inch. Your thumb was brushing against the green fabric of the bikini over and over again until it had become some kind of obsession. But the more the motions continued, the more you realized that perhaps there was no other way to get out of this trap glamorously set by Robin and Nami. A sigh of despair left your lips, swearing to yourself that you’d have your payback sooner than later.

The door of the girls’ bedrooms slammed open, allowing your figure sculpted by the finest hands of the muses of beauty to be exposed to the kisses of the sun. The first sound to rip apart your thoughts was a squeal which left Nami’s mouth, the latter shaking Robin’s forearm with urgency to bring her attention onto you. « Robin, Robin! Look at her, isn’t she to die for? I’d bet all my money that Zoro is going to throw himself on her. I mean, just look at her! »

The same amused smile graced Robin’s facial traits, lowering her shades just a bit to have a good glance at how the oh so awaited green bikini embraced your body. « I must confess that it’s impossible to resist her. »

The words leaving her lips became clearer and clearer the more you approached them, a palette of rosy tones sitting proudly on top of your cheekbones at their compliments. « We saved you a seat, Miss I’m-too-sexy-for-my-own-good. Come with us! » Nami said, patting the empty spot next to her to which you wordlessly replied with a nod, sitting between her and Robin.

« You’re so evil, I kinda hate you for it. » A smile plastered upon your lips as the words died on your tongue.

« You love us and you know it. » Nami replied, letting her hand lingering on your forearm. « Ooh, would you look at that, Robin? The show is about to begin. » She concluded, taking a sip out of her cocktail with a gleam of mischief shining in her eyes.

And by show, the navigator undoubtedly meant the sudden appearance of the Sunny’s resident lover who had stormed out of the kitchen with a plate of different kinds of treats and cocktails for his ladies, spoiling them rotten on sunny days if it meant he could allow his eyes to linger a bit on your bodies in bikinis.

The first act of the show had begun in a flashy manner, as soon as Sanji closed the door leading to the kitchen behind him, the plate he was holding had fell onto the floor, a loud echo reasoning into the swordsman’s ears who was stuck in a deep state of slumber… Until now.

« I must have saved a country in my previous life to be worthy of such a privilege. » Sanji sobbed, falling onto his knees, « Y/N, you’re a goddess amongst us, we’re not worthy, I’m not worthy of your beauty. I will worship you everyday, I will cover you in love until my very last breath! » The cook continued, more and more praises falling from his lips in a continuous cascade as your cheeks were getting more and more red by the second. Alas, the more the blonde sang your praises, the more the swordsman was stirring awake— and if there was one thing Zoro hated with passion besides Sanji, it was waking up to loud noises.

Sanji had approached you, on one knee, the back of your hand pressed against his lips as the tears falling from his lips mixed with the blood leaking from his nose. « Thank you, my goddess, thank you for blessing my sore eyes. Words can’t describe how—… » And he went on and on again, his lips still traveling from the back of your hand to your forearm under Nami’s disgusted stare who yanked you away from him.

« My goddess—… »

« Oi! Do you ever shut up, stupid cook? » And despite the numerous occasions on which Zoro and Sanji have fought, Zoro’s words seemed intensely more acerbic, as sharp as the swords laying to his side, which even surprised Sanji.

« Were you talking to me, mosshead? » Sanji taunted.

« I don’t see anyone else here acting like a damn fool. » Zoro began, his sole eye conveying so much anger you could feel it. « Know your place. »

Nami elbowed Robin once more, the latter having long forgotten about the book sitting on her lap at this point. Sanji stepped towards the swordsman, dangerously reducing the space between the both of them until their foreheads were touching. There was no frown noticeable on Zoro’s face, but a blank expression which let through a pure anger. « She belongs to me, hands off what’s mine. » The swordsman spat, his shoulder hitting Sanji’s as he walked past him, leaving the cook in a stupor.

« Oi! You. » He said, pointing at your frame with his index. « Follow me. You and I are gonna’ have a word. »

He cursed himself for allowing his gaze to fall on your form, knowing damn well that with each second he spent looking at you in this green bikini (this damn color, he thought), the more he was falling under the spells casted by the muses of lust.

« Go get some! » Nami whispered, her tongue gracing her bottom lip.

« We expect all the details afterwards, my dear Y/N. » Robin giggled.

You had barely enough time to form any kind of response that you felt the foreign presence of Zoro’s digits snaking around your wrists and yanking you towards him. « Hey, I’m sure we can talk about this calmly, right? We can chat about it over a drink, I’ll ask Sanji to—… » Alas, your sentence never found its end, your mind going numb at the death glare Zoro sent your way as you mentioned Sanji’s name. But, paradoxically enough, it only fueled your arousal even more.

Zoro led you to the crow’s nest, trapping you and him both inside the same room. And as the silence grew heavier and heavier, until becoming asphyxiating, Zoro’s snicker broke the silence in the most mischievous way. A look of confusion was painted on your face, and you were quick to point at it. « W-What are you laughing at? »

« Do you think I’m fucking stupid? » Zoro half-asked.

You tilted your head to the side, slowly backing away until your back met the unforgiving surface of the wooden wall. « Answer me. » He demanded, one of his hand grabbing both of your wrists in one hold pinned above your head whilst his other hand cradled your jaw so you had no choice but devote your attention onto him.

« I don’t know what you’re talking about. » You pleaded, cheeks burning under the rosy tone as you felt his uneven breaths crashing against the column of your neck.

Wrong answer, Zoro shoved his knee between your already trembling legs. « You like the attention, hah? You love it when that pervert of a cook was throwing himself on you, is that it? Tch. » He was feeding his lust off of the scared expression on your face, blood rushing in the tightest space possible by the second.

« No answer, huh? ‘Guess I’m gonna have to teach you some manners, because it looks like you forgot who you belong to. » And with that, he dug his teeth into the skin of your neck, alternating between biting and sucking motions to form the most ravishing love bite— a symbol of belonging if you will. You squealed at the sudden sensation of his pearly whites inking his name into your skin, giving him exactly the reaction he was anticipating.

You rocked your hips against the thigh settled between your legs, a desperate attempt at getting some friction for your poor and aching core in need for attention. Zoro clicked his tongue once more at your antics, choosing to hush you by continuing the trail of hickeys adorning your martyr of a neck. « Care to explain what you’re doing? Throwing yourself on my thigh because you couldn’t get the shit cook, hah? You’re so fucking desperate, it makes me want to leave you there all alone. »

« Zoro! Please don’t, don’t leave me! I just need you, I don’t need anyone else but you! I promise I’ll be good but please, please, don’t leave me. » You pleaded, a clear veil of despair covering your eyes under his impassible expression.

The façade worn off soon, letting a smirk throne amongst his facial features instead. « Who do you belong to? » Zoro demanded, gliding the hand that was under your chin to your throat and applied just enough pressure to make sure to earn absolute submissiveness out of you.

« Y-You… » You choked out, the lack of oxygen marrying so well with your growing arousal.

His smirk only grew wider, a real testimony of the sick thoughts implanted in his brain that would make a demon blush. Both of his hand retreated to his side, gaze falling on the unmissable erection showing through his dark pants. His eyes alternated between you and the bulge in his pants, your mouth going dry at the wordless order. « If you want to be a whore, then be a good whore and suck me off, yeah? Don’t give me those eyes, you want it. »

You sunk to your knees, tongue wetting your lips in anticipation for what was bound to come. And whilst your eyes were stuck on his form, your fingers were busy tugging down at his pants to reveal his grey underwear stained with pre-cum. The sight of this alone was enough to send yet another wave of arousal down to your core. And as his cock sprung free from the constriction of his boxers, his girth slapping against his exposed abdomen and the tip rouge from anticipation, you were convinced you could’ve come undone from the sight of this alone.

« Suck. » He ordered, grabbing a fistful of your hair to force your towards his aching cock and the veil of pre-cum coating the tip.

And thus it began. You flattened your tongue, drawing a large lick from the base of his cock all the way to the tip where you finished with a few kitten licks, knowing damn well the head was where all the nerves devoted to pleasure were hidden. « Don’t tease and put your mouth to good use, whore. » Zoro said, almost betrayed by the groan threatening to be released.

Following the rules of performative language, you began to rock your head back and forth around his cock, making sure that your tongue was coating in a lustful love each inch of his girth whilst hums of pleasure were leaving your lips as you went. The hold of your hair in Zoro’s fist grew tighter and so did the metaphorical knots in his stomach as you went along, until the tip of his cock reached the back of your throat— such enticing sensation earned a growl out of him. Fuck.

« F-Fuck. Look at what you’re doing to me… Ah! Shit. Enough! » He ordered, yanking your head away from his cock, and the sight of the corners of your mouth dripping with the sweet marriage of his pre-cum and your drool could have provoked an orgasm out of him at this very moment.

« It’s too soon, and it’d be giving you what you want, huh? Too fucking bad, I’m going to cum in that sweet pussy of yours and you’re gonna love it. Ya’ hear me? » He asked without really asking, and taken by a rush of lust, you could only nod in return. « Y-Yes. » You stuttered. « You’re missing something. » Zoro added. You swallowed thickly before adding « Yes, yes, sir. » Your response caused an ill-intentioned snicker to fall from his lips. « That’s right. Now get on your back, and make sure to be as loud as you can, I want everyone on this damn ship to hear how I can make you scream. »

Zoro’s glorious height forced you to lay back until your spine touched the mattress where all the sins would soon break free. The smirk on his face never left, a pure testimony of what all the sinful deeds he was bound to accomplish. You were now trapped between his forearms, hips circled by his knees— bending under his dominance. « Did you wear that for me? » Zoro asked, slapping the string of the bikini top against your skin.

« I d-did, it’s all for you because I’m all yours. » Your response caused a chuckle to break from his lips, sweet words feeding his ego some more. And in a flash, his fingers had ripped said bikini top in half (you made a mental note that you now owed a serious debt to Nami), and there you were, (almost) in all you bare glory. « Fuck, if only you knew the things you do to me. »

Zoro wasted no time and threw all caution out of the window as his mouth latched onto your breasts, the motions of his tongue around your bud causing your spine to pay homage to the moon from how arched it was. His pink muscle flickered around your nipple before he swallowed your breast whole, his drool covering your flesh in a sinful veil. And because he was such a giver for his pretty girl, he gave the same treatment to the other breast whilst gasps left your lips over and over again at the methodical motions of his tongue, your anatomy held no secret for him.

« Are you going shy on me now? Did you forget what I said? » He trailed off, reducing the space between his lips and your ear, « I said I want you to be fucking loud. »

And with that, he left a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your stomach before tearing apart (once more) your poor martyr of a bikini bottom under your desperate attempts to keep it intact. Were you challenging him? Oh well… Zoro has always been the type to face any challenge thrown his way. « Zoro—… Sir, please! » You pleaded, not knowing really why.

« You’re such a desperate little thing, huh? » He leaned down to face your core, glistening in its lustful glory for him and him only. Zoro pressed a finger against your folds, dragging it vertically to obtain a finger pad covered in your slicks. « So fucking wet for me already? ‘Bet that shit cook can’t make you as wet as me. » He stated, confidence embedded in his every word. « Only you can make me feel this way, sir. » You replied before he crashed his lips onto yours in an uncharacteristically sweet manner to cut you off. « And why’s that? » The swordsman asked, already knowing the answer. « Because… Because I belong to you. » He pressed yet another kiss against your lips for having given the answer that had been lingering on his mind. « Good girl. »

Your reward came in the form of his tongue brushing your folds, flickering motions against your sensitive bud sending you in overdrive as continuous waves of pleasure washed over you ceaselessly, the knots in your stomach tightening each time his tongue touched you. Two of his digits poked your entrance, teasing you to let your torture last before they penetrated you. The sudden sensation caused you to let out a dragged whimper accompanied by his name coated in a sinful tone. « S-Sir please, please just fuck me— I can’t take the teasing, ahh, fuck, fuck! Please, please! » You begged, eyelids shutting close under the pleasure.

But your pleas fell in deaf ears as he kept pumping his fingers in and out of you, sucking onto your sensitive bud to build an orgasm within you that he was bound to deny. He knew you were close by the way you were holding his green hair, tugging him ever closer to your core to amplify the inferno burning within you. But alas, to your greatest displeasure, all the motions ceased in one go under the hint of mischief glowing in his eye.

« You’re gonna cum on my terms, and when I say so. Got it? » He seethed, knowing damn well that his own end was going to arrive soon. He gave his girth a few experimental pumps, allowing the pre-cum to cover his length before shoving the entirety of his cock in one go inside you, barely leaving enough time for your cunt to stretch correctly— and saying that a elongated moan left your lips was an euphemism, the sick grin plastered upon his face grew more and more as the sounds of pleasure drowned in his eardrums. « You’re so fucking tight, shit! » He breathed out, « Look at your pretty cunt swallowing me whole. »

The rhythm of his hips followed the scheme of a crescendo, each slam of his hips against your derrière drew a clearer portrait of both Zoro’s end and your own climax. The nature of the rhythm itself indicated that he was chasing after his own end, and with his head thrown back and his irises dilated under the hunger to satiate the raging fires breaking loose in his abdomen by the second. « S-Sir, it feels— Ah! It feels so good! »

The tip of his cock kissed ever so precisely the roof of your cervix where a panel of nerves designed to draw a lustful reaction out of you every time he thrusted into you. Your vision became more and more blurry until a liquid veil covered your eyes as pearls of tears gathered at the corners of your eyes. Under the pressure of each of Zoro’s thrusts, your body bent to his will and soon you had no longer control over your legs that used to be around his waist, only to be picked up by the swordsman who threw your legs over his shoulder, thus allowing him to reach a deeper part in you and the cries leaving your lips were just the proof of how good he made you feel.

More and more cries echoed against the wooden walls of the room, your sounds of pleasure marrying the groans falling from his lips in a cascade. « Ah, fuck, fuck! R-Right there, please! Shit…! » You pleaded to fuel him some more. His nails were digging into the luscious flesh of your thighs, drawing rouge crescents in his wake.

« Who do you belong to? » He groaned out, his eye admiring the lustful look on your face.

« Y-You! I belong to you, fuck, you a-and no one else! » You attempted to reply mid-moan.

But as much as Zoro knew your anatomy, you also happened to be an expert of his— and the way he planted his nails into your skin, the raw groans loosing their chains to be set free and the way his thighs were shaking… Everything announced the beginning of his own end.

« Cum with me… Now! » He ordered, letting his hand crash against your buttcheek in the process. And there it was, the marriage of two lovers under the spell of lust. The rhythm of his thrusts reached their apex, all whilst he painted your walls with the white color of passion. His own cum was mixing with your own elixir of pleasure leaking from your throbbing core as your cunt was clenching around his cock in despair. The sounds of his hips slamming against yours were long gone now, the room was solely filled with heavy breaths and his name falling from your lips over and over again like a forbidden prayer.

Although Zoro’s stamina knew no bounds, he felt like the oxygen had been knocked off of his lungs. But perhaps it was the price to pay if it meant he could observe you in all your post-orgasm glory after holding it inside you for so long. God, he was so proud of you, proud of every mark he had left onto your skin, proud of the way your skin gleamed under the sweat, proud of being your lover.

« ’S alright, ’s alright. I’m going to pull out, breathe. » Zoro demanded, the sweet tone reserved for you only finding its way back around his words. His digits snaked around his girth to pull out of you, only to witness the satisfying marriage of your cum and his own. You were so good to him.

And whilst you remained unable to move, Zoro fell to your side, his arms quick to lock you into an embrace as your head rested on his chest, his frenetics heartbeats echoing in your eardrums. You loved the peace of the aftermath of any sexual activity involving Zoro, you loved how peace seemed to bend his facial features in the most enticing way.

He was the first one to break the silence, pressing his lips against your forehead whilst he tugged you impossibly closer to him like a reminder that you were indeed here, and would always be. « So whose plan was this, hah? » He asked, earning a giggle out of you in response. « It was Nami’s, although Robin helped too. She said I would one hundred percent ‘get laid’ if I wore this. » You answered, head tilting towards the poor green bikini torn in pieces.

« That witch can go to hell. » Zoro groaned, but the raw tone of his voice was betrayed by the sweet caresses of his digits down your forearm.

« I mean, her plan did happen so I think it’s a win for her. It’s not like you regret what happened, mhm? » Alas, nothing but silence in return. « Zoro? » You called him, but an angel passed. « Zoro! » You repeated more sternly, and this time you were met with the sound of his snores— of course, typical Zoro fashion.

Well, you knew who you were going to thank now.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Serendipity with a side of 4 O’Clock and other guest appearances

by Admin 1 and 2

We’ve been meaning to write a analysis/theory/discussion on Serendipity for the longest time, especially after I once mentioned in a previous post how I think the song can be interpreted in a way that works for both vmin and namjin. So, while I’ll add my thoughts in regard to the latter, the vmin portion is more based on conclusions and thoughts Admin 2 arrived at. I think their idea presents a perspective I haven’t really seen anywhere else before yet, so I think it’ll hopefully be interesting.

As with any song analysis/discussion/theories, this only represents some of our interpretations which don’t have to be right and no one is meant to take this as gospel. Art is subjective and while we all listen to the same song, read the same lyrics, our understanding and thoughts may/will vary, so you might not agree with any of what we say and you are not obliged to do so. This is just meant as a discussion, some pondering, and perhaps we can discover something along the way that we haven’t considered yet.

With that being said, let’s get into it.

Additional preface: this post will work off of the assumption that both vmin and namjin have romantic feelings for each other and/or are together. If this isn’t an angel you’re interested in reading about, this likely isn’t the post for you. Furthermore, if you’d prefer to put on your delulu hat for the duration of this post, please take a moment to put it on now. Enjoy!

All lyric translations are from doolset.

Serendipity is the opening song on Love Yourself: Her, the first album of the Love Yourself trilogy, and was released September 18th 2017. Of all the members, Namjoon is the only one credited as lyricist on it along with four other people (two outsiders, Slow Rabbit and Bang PD). Based on that we can say that Namjoon definitely had a big influence of the content of the lyrics and the story they tell so analyzing the song in the context of Namjoon makes sense. But at the same time the song is Jimin’s solo so I don’t think it is that farfetched to think that he kept Jimin in mind when writing the lyrics, and judging by how attached vmin, and especially Tae, seem to be to this song, thinking that there might be more to it than just the fact that it’s Jimin’s solo, again, seems like a sensible conclusion to arrive at. In 2020 Tae even used a moment where he recommended Serendipity (as part of the digital Map of the Soul ON:E Exhibition which, by the way, opened on Jimin’s birthday) in order to wish Jimin a happy birthday.

Serendipity /ˌsɛr(ə)nˈdɪpɪti/ as: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Looking at the meaning of the title and the big focus on the concept of destiny displayed in the lyrics, I think it makes a lot of sense in the context of Bangtan. The members themselves have spoken about how it was meant to be them, these seven men, and just think about how many different factors had to work in their favor for them to end up not only as trainees for BigHit but also as members of BTS. If Seokjin hadn’t gotten on that specific bus and gotten off on that station the BigHit staff might’ve never seen him and approached him, if Tae hadn’t gone with his friend to the audition and hadn’t gotten talked into auditioning himself, he wouldn't even be an idol at all, and if Jimin’s dance teacher hadn’t encouraged him to audition he wouldn’t have come as trainee to Seoul either. And if one of the BigHit producers hadn’t seen Namjoon, hadn’t shown him to Bang PD, BTS wouldn’t have been created at all. As the lyrics themselves say:

이 모든 건 우연이 아냐 All this is not a coincidence

Timeline wise we think Serendipity is about two different moments in time depending if you look at vmin or namjin. For the latter I’d say it’s about the beginning of their relationship which, if namjinists are right in our thoughts and theories, would put this sometime 2013. Meanwhile for vmin, Admin 2 actually thinks it would be 2016, more specifically the time of the dumpling incident, so before FIRE was released. This also leads us to the main idea that Admin 2 arrived at and thought of, being that Serendipity and 4 O’Clock tell two sides to the same story, as in Tae in 4 O’Clock is the one waiting for the other person, who describes the moment in time and the feelings he had when that person came to meet him. Meanwhile Jimin is the one who came to meet him, who asks him to love him, who cried because of his feelings and who’s telling him about those feelings and thoughts (as displayed by the sentiments of Serendipity). Namjoon also wrote both, and he knew as many details of the incident as Tae was willing to share with him which, seeing how filled with emotion and deep the lyrics to 4 O’Clock are, I’m sure were rather extensive. How else would he has been able to write such beautiful lyrics?

Actually, to sidetrack for a moment, Admin 2 thinks that it’s not a coincidence that Namjoon isn’t just on 4 O’Clock was writer but also as artist, that in a way he also verbalizes his own pain/troubles through his verse even though, as far as we know, namjin never had anything that would be like the dumpling incident, but in this sense it’s more about what the incident represents rather that the literal event. As in, for vmin this was the big fight they had, a majorly significant moment that brought about a change in their dynamic and bond, and according to them it was their last big fight in general. Like a moment that was destined to happen in order to allow for them to later down the line grow into what they are today in connection to each other, but we think it was also a moment in which, while they might’ve realized and opened up to each other about their feelings, it was also when they had to realize that despite there being more to their feelings, it wasn’t the time for it.

As the lyrics in Serendipity say:

설레는 만큼 많이 두려워 As much as my heart flutters, I’m afraid

운명이 우릴 자꾸 질투해서 because the destiny keeps getting jealous of us

너만큼 나도 많이 무서워 As much scared as you are, I’m, too, scared

When you see me When you touch me

Destiny in this case represents their career and them being idols, being part of a group destined to become the phenomenon and the superstars they are today, meaning that this destiny stood in the way of their bond in a romantic sense. They had to prioritize this destiny over their feelings, over wanting to be with each other, because they were afraid of the repercussions that could otherwise bring upon them (as well as the other members). Besides, they could also look at namjin who, in a way, came before them. If theories are right and namjin were together sometimes starting in 2013, they had to eventually split romantically for the greater good of the band, so if their relationship had to take the back seat, so to speak, destiny having gotten in their way (gotten jealous of them), how could vmin know it wouldn’t be the same for them? Besides they already had so much going on with Jimin’s feelings of jealousy due to Tae’s Hwarang hyungs, Tae’s work on the drama keeping him away from the band and exhausting him even more, and the sad things still to come which they couldn’t know at that time just yet.

From Sweet Night we know that they had a first chance that Tae didn’t take, that he couldn’t have known that one day he would wake up and feel more for his best friend, as in Jimin, even though, deep down he realized that he’d long reached the shore already. So, in that park that night the conclusion they arrived at was that while they couldn’t move forward with their feelings (because perhaps Tae didn’t even know just yet the extent of his own), he realized that Jimin is an angel after he told him that he at least wants to be his source of strength which subsequently unleashed arrows of pent up emotions from his heart. So while it was a positive event in sense of it bringing clarity, to a certain degree, about their feelings for each other, it was also one of sadness because they knew they couldn’t follow those feelings. Remember how when performing 4 O’Clock Tae cried in the end? If it were a song just reminiscing about two friends making up at the park after a fight over them being stubborn about dumplings, would he really feel saddened enough to cry, to get to that level of emotionality?

Later in the song the lyrics say:

이젠 곁에 와줘 Now, please be by my side

우리가 되어줘 Please be us

I don’t wanna let go no

그냥 맡기면 되는 거야 We can just leave it to fate

말 안 해도 느껴지잖아 We can feel it even if we don’t talk

Here the important part would be the line about how they can leave things up to fate, which can be interpreted as even if things might not be what we want them to be right now or anytime soon, they will happen eventually because that’s how it’s meant to be. The lyrics generally make a lot of mention of how their love is destined, how their happiness together has been destined since the universe was first created. So it shows a sense of trust that regardless of what will happened, or might’ve happened in the past, they will find their way back together eventually (in a romantic sense). Like, again, in Sweet Night where Tae didn’t use his first chance but hopes he’ll get a second one and, judging by the hopeful tone of the song and everything that we know currently, it looks like he got it and it worked out in their favor. The same, I think, can also be said about namjin.

Looking at the lyrics of Serendipity, the idea of them being fated even though their meeting was serendipitous, Namjoon is basically telling us that here, too, he believes that his connection to Seokjin, if we are correct in the interpretation that Seokjin is the lover hinted at throughout different songs on the Love Yourself albums, was also meant to be and that it will remain as such even if they had to step away from each other romantically, that while they used to be scared back in the day to be together, to open up to each other about their feelings, it still was destiny and that it would work out in the end. Looking at how much they’ve influenced each other, how Namjoon even went as far as saying that Seokjin is his muse/inspiration in a way, would such conclusion really be all that farfetched?

The first line of the quoted verse also reminds me of the same sentiment that Jimin wrote about three years later for Friends in which he wrote:

언젠가 이 함성 멎을 때 stay hey Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey

내 옆에 함께 있어줘 Stay with me by my side

영원히 계속 이곳에 stay hey Forever, keep staying here, hey

We know that forever/eternity is a big thing when it comes to Jimin and Tae which we’ve seen as early as 2014 with the picture of their intertwined hands that Tae posted on twt with the wish of them keeping going together for a long time and then with Jimin’s addition of saying forever. Later during Bon Voyage 4 he also said that again, how he wants to live with his lovely Taehyungie forever, and years before that how he wants them to be together until they’re grandpas.

So, in a way, it isn’t just destiny they trust that will be in their favor, but it’s also their active wish and “work” in that direction, that it’s not just something a higher force has foreseen for them but it’s also something they consciously want for themselves as well. All because of that serendipitous fact that they ended up as trainees and members of BTS.

넌 내 푸른 곰팡이 You’re my blue mold (penicillin)

날 구원해 준 that saved me

나의 천사 나의 세상 My angel, my world

Here is where we can draw two connection directly to Tae and Jimin, one because of something Jimin said about Tae years prior and the other due to the fact that as recently as the second half as 2020 (DICON Magazine) Tae said he had Jimin saved on his phone as Penicillin. We also know that after the song came out, Tae made a phone case for Jimin with the word penicillin on it which Jimin proudly used and showed off. 

Furthermore penicillin itself is something that can save you, and while we might not know from what, exactly, Jimin needed to be saved, he did say that Tae is more than just his close friend, he is also his savior.

As for Namjoon, there was certainly a time where he would’ve needed someone to save him, from himself and his dark, less than life positive, thoughts (as displayed by the lyrics in Always) but also the world around them back in 2015/16 where he was seen as the worst of the worst for things he’d said that had been purposefully misconstrued and misunderstood, as well as lyrics he’d written which, again, where taken to mean things much different from what he actually tried to say. While there is nothing I can use or base any assumptions on that Seokjin would be the one/was the one who saved him, contextually, I don’t think it would be farfetched that he did help him and was there for him during that time, much the way the other members surely were too. Based on what we know about Abyss and the background of that song, we know Namjoon helped Seokjin in some ways with it, so if Seokjin came to him and spoke to him about the hard time he was having in 2020, it isn’t that out there to think that Namjoon might’ve done the same back in 2015/16, and during other times between when they first met until Namjoon wrote these lyrics, right?

난 네 삼색 고양이 I’m your calico cat

널 만나러 온 that came to meet you

Love me now touch me now

Calico cats are very rare, and usually you’ll only find female calico cats, meaning that male ones are even more rare than that. Looking at Namjoon as a person, I’d say he is a very rare type of person as well, I mean, how many teenage underground rappers turned idol group leaders who might also be queer and is also a literal genius do you know off the top of your head? Furthermore calico cats are seen as lucky cats in many cultures and places so in this sense Namjoon/Jimin would represent something lucky/positive that came to their partner which, if we again look at things that were said over the years, Jimin did say that Tae is the happiest when he’s with Jimin.

As for Namjoon and Seokjin, this could be connected to the fact that Seokjin was thankful that Namjoon is on their team, their ally, instead of someone from another group, thus seeing it as luck that they are together (Rolling Paper FESTA 2020), like he is their good luck charm that played a major role in them getting to where they are, so to speak. And yes I’m aware that he said that three years after the song was released but it wasn’t the first or only time he ever voiced such sentiment. Seokjin has underlined how much he admires Namjoon’s abilities as leader and lyricist many, many times over the years.

“Our leader, RM. This guy is amazing. There are 2 more older guys than him, yet he is great as leader. I want to thank our leader personally.” -- Seokjin as a concert which, judging by their hairstyles (and the use of Namjoon’s old artist name) must’ve been some time around Dark & Wild perhaps?

As a side note, the mention of calico cats reminds me of a picture Seokjin posted for Namjoon’s birthday in 2019 (so two years after Serendipity had already come out) in which Namjoon is seen asleep while sitting and hugging a calico cat plushy. You’ll recognize both the plushy and the ARMY B*mb hat as part of the VCRs for 4th Muster in 2018. So I’m mentioning this as more of a cute thing rather than some kind of definitive sign of any sort really. By the way, that same cat plushy can also be seen when Tae lies sleeping and Jimin sits next to him singing the calico cat line and places the plushy on Tae.

But, what I think is, for me at least, the biggest hint toward Serendipity being, to a degree at least, about/inspired by vmin is the fact that early in 2017, February more specifically, Jimin and Tae both called each other their soulmates during one of their fansigns. And what are soulmates if not two people destined to meet and be with each other, two people quite literally meant for each other? And here Jimin is singing a song about how his love for this person and his happiness with them was fated, that destiny had this planned for them regardless how scared they may be and how destiny (outside factors) might be jealous of them (keep getting in their way).

Furthermore, isn’t it curious how this song, specifically, is written as gender neutral instead of with female pronouns like their songs in the past or even Outro: Her off the same album? Yes, Namjoon explained in their interview with Billoard that this decision was one he made because these rare moments and special things in life are something that transcend genders, cultures and barriers between people, and love is also something that doesn’t care about genders, in this case love and destiny don’t care about the fact that they are all the same gender because they are fated anyway, they are soulmates, each others fated person, and their happiness is meant to be in one way or another. Together.

[verryberriess]

Whatever This Is | Chapter 1

READ PROLOGUE HERE!!

Whatever This Is

Synopsis: In which Jude and Cardan meet again after seven years, but not on good terms.

thanks to @maastrash for helping me edit LOL!!!! :D

CHAPTER ONE

The last time I saw Cardan Greenbriar was seven years ago.

Today, seven years later, we were a mere few feet apart. I’m unsure whether to feel relieved or insulted at his lack of acknowledgement. Relieved that maybe he has forgotten my face and I could continue along with my life, undeterred and unaffected as ever. But insulted, because, maybe he has forgotten me.

“Are you ready to order?” The cashier startles me. I didn’t realize that the line had suddenly quickened in pace. He must be new, since I haven’t seen him around the Torre’s until today.

Thankfully, I respond with my usual order without thinking. The cashier nods and I fumble my purse in search of my wallet. I’m able to quickly spot my cyan-colored wallet and unbutton its strap with haste, fishing for my credit card from the compartment with my nail. The card is stubborn, in a tight space stuck to two other cards.

“Sorry,” I look up and flash the cashier a tight smile, embarrassment coloring my features.

The cashier responds in turn, his green eyes alight in amusement. “It’s alright. That happens to me all the time.”

I immediately return to the war against my card, which finally relents. I slam it into the card reader, chip in first. While the payment approves, I smile and say, “Thanks for your patience,“ peering down at his name tag to add, “Beckett.” He is handsome and new, and on another day I would try to get to know him, but I am in a hurry, so I walk from the bounds of the register and head straight towards the door outside.

The door swings open in response to my adrenaline and haste. I curse inwardly at the crowd outside of Torre’s that seems to have gotten even bigger. As I mutter “Excuse me’s” and sidestep around the large number of people, I inspect the streets for an absurdly tall head of iridescent midnight hair. I am quickly astonished to see that exact head right in the middle of the large crowd, showering the thrall of excited women with a crooked smile.

Cardan stands in the middle. While he keeps his hands at his sides, his posture is loose and his torso leans in to angle himself for a selfie with another woman. The woman presses her back into Cardan’s again. He doesn’t seem bothered by this at all.

I zero in on the changes in his features. He has gotten taller, his face more angular. His style has been perfected, dressed in a dark suit and decorated in gold rings and darks and blacks while the midnight black hair atop his head seems unruly and untamed, as if on purpose. All these years and he seems to have perfected perfection, looking more horrifically beautiful than ever. I have forgotten this obtrusive charm I had once been fooled by, and even after all these years I am disgusted at myself for still being reigned in, captivated.

But all of a sudden, for a few seconds, he turns his head away from his surroundings and regards me with his eyes, looking as if he were noting my presence with the same disgust, and then quickly looking away. The exchange was so quick, I had barely registered it.

Yet, as I stand at the outskirts of this group, I am reminded of the past, and how I have gotten over this already. I have replayed scenario after scenario of reunions in my head after the first few months of my departure, but I had never really anticipated some overly-large crowd separating Cardan Greenbriar and I by just a few feet.

A few feet that might as well be an ocean. Or two.

I can’t help but marvel at how we were once more than acquainted with each other. That look had reminded me that everything is over, that he wants nothing to do with me. Seven years could be more, if I refocused myself. I could do that, I reminded myself. Seven years could turn into forever.

A twinge of sorrow worms its way into my gut. I squash it.

I turn around. My coffee must be done by now and I want to head to work before I’m late. I suppose the sidewalk will take some weaving around and being late was not on my agenda.

My steps are forward. I make my way back to the door of Torre’s, pulling open the door to step in.

But a familiar voice, ringed with the same distinct tone of arrogance and authority that I haven’t heard in years, ceases any of my movements.

“You need to back up.”

My grip at the handle falters, and another person shuffles out on the other side. They thank me for holding the door for them.

Instead of responding, I turn back around and face the direction of where the voice had called. The atmosphere feels almost different. Where the women had once been gathered around him, they now stand at a distance, clearing for the space he had requested.

I watch one of them snap a quick selfie while he is in her background. She leaves the group right afterwards. My eyes move back to where Cardan is, but he is walking towards my direction, uncaring of the people around him.

I pull the door handle hurriedly and slip inside into the safety of Torre’s. The chatter and ambiance of the coffeehouse usually offer safe haven from San Francisco’s morning bustles, but not today.

I could feel his looming presence right behind me, about to catch up to my stride. I’m not about to do this right now. I don’t think I can.

The choice is ripped away from me, however, when a gentle grip takes hold of my wrist.

“Jude?” The voice is soft, a complete one-eighty from that of authority outside.

I still immediately. I first turn to check the surroundings, discovering that none of the women from outside have followed him in. Then, I glance at the hand which still grips my wrist. I try to shake it off. Cardan’s hold is firm, but he reluctantly lets go. He removes himself slowly as if he is unsure whether or not he should.

Taking a step away, he stands and shifts awkwardly. He is too tall now, absurdly towering over me. Where he used to be only about an inch taller, he is now a few inches above my height. He is no longer able to slouch against me without adjusting himself as easily anymore.

The distance between us is off-putting. Though traits like his height and broadness separate us physically from our past selves, it is the other changes in our approaches and personalities that further highlight the obnoxious tension between us.

Why he suddenly acknowledges my presence is a mystery to me. Why he is here astonishes me. I am unsure if fate is cruel enough to have forced us to meet in this kind of circumstance, or if this was a making of pure coincidence.

Cardan stares at me with some deep intensity. I want to be rid of his scathing stare, grab my coffee, and disappear from this whole ordeal. Pretend that this stain of an encounter had not been inked upon seven years of spotless script.

“Cardan,” I say stiffly. Once acquainted, but now strangers. I am hesitant to say more, despite all the questions that rage within my mind and my wickedly cursed heart. Everything about this is full of uncertainty and unpredictability. A type of situation that I am not entirely familiarized with, since plans and strategy have always ruled my life. It is frustratingly tiresome.

Cardan eyes the row of occupied couches, and later the arrangement of empty rustic tables and chairs. He gestures out to the seats, “Why don’t we find a seat? I imagine that we have much to catch up on.”

I secretly consider his offer, but my brain votes to think of ways to escape his reach. Before I can make a decision though, I am led away to an open table. I am reluctant to make this encounter any longer than it should be, but I decide that I should at least gain some reasoning for his recent presence.

“I’m glad you’re so eager to see me again. After all, it’s been so long.” Cardan resumes his usual nonchalant character. “What an extraordinary coincidence running into you here.”

For a moment, I remark on his wording. I am glad that this turned out to be an occasion of pure coincidence.

Concern or indifference? I decided on the latter tone to respond with. “Yes, it certainly has been a while. But considering how we left things, I’m surprised that you even want to be near me.”

He raises an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth lift slightly. “Considering how we’ve left things, I’m surprised you’ve let me into your vicinity.” It doesn’t look like it, but the small twinges in expression reveal that he is thinking of what to say next. I am about to retort back, but what he asks next catches me off guard as he continues, softly, “Why did you leave for so long?”

My cheeks heat. At this, I am suddenly hyper aware of how close he is, of his overwhelming heat despite the violent cold that rages outside, and how he almost whispers his question, with a compelling mix of rasp and seduction. He towers over me, as if using his height to shield me from the world like he has done so many times those years ago, but in this instance, it feels as though he is also looking for something. Cardan is cautious though, leaving room for retreat.

If I am not careful myself, I imagine that I would fall into his chest, and take advantage of the closeness that I had secretly yearned for nearly a decade. Seven years be damned, my focused mentality would dissolve into dust.

I announce my resolve by taking a step back. The distance between him and I is lengthened. Although my heart curses at me, my mind is indiscriminate. I hadn’t expected this conversation to go about this way. Though, I also didn’t know what to expect. Everything was unpredictable at this point and many things have changed. I didn’t know what response he wanted, because he should’ve known why I left.

“... Because of you.” I say gruffly. I leave little context, wanting him to fill in the blanks.

For a second, a mixture of hurt and surprise leaks into his expression before it is masked again. In that second I can’t help but relish in a small sense of satisfaction that I had got to him. Hurt for hurt. An eye for an eye. Whatever game he is trying to play at this time will not rouse a fraction of feeling from me. Not again.

“I see.” Again, Cardan contemplates. He does not show anything, but his eyes start to roam around us, like he is taking in the coffeehouse setting again as if he wasn’t just here only a few moments ago.

“Excuse me?” The green-eyed cashier from before stands in front of us.

He looks between Cardan and I. Cardan, in turn, twists to the direction of the abrupt voice, and slowly assesses his form. I watch his eyes trail up and down the cashier’s physique, his face contorting in judgement before glaring at him, clearly annoyed by his abrupt intrusion.

Beckett turns to me instead, smiling brightly. His dimples deepen and his white teeth flash to me. He holds out a branded cup of Torre’s. “Hey, Jude right? We called out your name earlier, but I don’t think you heard us. I thought I’d bring your coffee to you before it got cold.”

“Thanks so much, I almost forgot.” I take the cup from him and gently set it down at our table.

“Of course.” Beckett still hovers over us, his attention only towards me. “Andrea told me you were a regular here. I should have known.”

“Yes, I come here often. But it’s okay, I noticed that you’re new here too. And it’s Beckett right?” I ask.

Beckett replies, “Yeah, it’s actually my second day.”

Beckett hovers over us. I notice that he is handsome, with close-cropped blonde hair that is slightly grown out. His green eyes twinkle as he observes me in return. He is well-muscled and tan from what I could see of his arms, which are mostly covered by his gray, long-sleeved uniform.

I take a quick glance at Cardan. His fingers tap the tabletop in a particular rhythm as he watches the exchange between Beckett and I.

“Well, I better get back to work now. If you need anything else, check your cup.” Beckett smiles again and walks away.

I look back at the coffee cup and peer at Cardan who eyes its side, a murderous expression set upon his facial features. His eyes are cold and his jaw is clenched.

As I take the cup in my hands, I inspect the sticker attached to the side of the cup. A phone number written in scrawly blue ink is scribbled onto the light orange sticker.

“​​I didn’t realize hand-serving customers was a part of the job description.” Cardan remarks icily.

“Well,” I clear my throat. “At least he’s done something you didn't have the balls to do seven years ago.”

A/N: i haven't been here in a while... hello! let me know if you want to be put on the tag list lOL

[balillee]

why 'there's no lore going on' right now in the dream smp - The Misfits Analogy

Fans of television, especially British television, will probably be familiar with an early 2010's show called Misfits. The show ran for five seasons spanning 2009 to 2013 - while the first two seasons (the first moreso than the second) are regarded more as cult classics, the latter half of the show completely falls in writing and production quality due to one significant change - the cast.

Seasons one and two of Misfits was centred around the original misfits gang - Nathan Young (portrayed by Robert Sheehan), Kelly Bailey (portrayed by Lauren Socha), Simon Bellamy (portrayed by Iwan Rheon), Alisha Daniels (portrayed by Antonia Thomas) and Curtis Donovan (portrayed by Nathan Stewart-Jarrett).

The show was good for two different factors from my perspective -

The intersection of superpowered television and interpersonal conflicts that broke the norm for stereotypes.

How the cast reflected modern British society.

In summary, the show followed a group of five young offenders at a community service centre. Not too interesting - but give them relatability, realism and explore their character development and their existing stereotypes/tropes through the use of superpowers? Genius.

Nathan was most definitely the fan favourite character of the show - he was outgoing, annoying, larger than life in a lot of ways and in all senses, he was a skeevy asshole who would insult characters at every turn. He was very much the class clown of the show and any British viewer could probably see someone they remember from school in Nathan, except Nathan was lovable and you could sympathise with him because you could see him struggling primarily at home and with his family.

Spoilers for the show - Nathan's power was immortality and the ability to resurrect himself from death. This power wasn't explicit immediately either to Nathan or to the audience unlike all of the other young offenders, and it reflected his 'nothing can hurt me ' attitude. Nathan was a character who could take any comment and brush it off like it was nothing, and he in the physical sense could take being thrown off a roof, impaled and practically buried alive and be sitting in his own coffin with his iPod all fine and dandy.

Kelly was also another standout example - her character reflected the stereotype of a chavvy girl, 'council house and violent' - loudmouthed, not very smart, questionable fashion choices and a bit abrasive. The only difference is that the show knew they had to subvert that stereotype - instead, Kelly was smart in her own way and she was empathic -> her superpower was the ability to hear other people's thoughts, and later, she became superintelligent and when her character left the show she decided to move to Uganda use her newfound rocket-scientist level intelligence for good. She was still loudmouthed and definitely chavvy, but she was also a whole human person who cared about other people and who was definitely intelligent.

If I kept going, I'd be lamenting about how season one's cast well reflected and subverted stereotypes and expectations using their superpowers, but I'd be here all day and that's really not the point I'm trying to make.

By the end of season 2, Robert Sheehan, as the standout performance from the show, decides to move on to greener pastures (which,, I don't blame him, being stuck on E4 would have been a nightmare for his career and look where he is now? He's a fan favourite as Klaus in TUA now!) - thus, Nathan is written out of the show in a post- season 2 special in which he gets locked up in prison in America.

This was the first character to get written out of the show.

In season 3, we lose Kelly who moves to Uganda with Seth to defuse landmines, and Simon and Alisha are both killed, and the only remaining member of the original ASBO five is Curtis.

Season 4 rolls around, and we pretty much have an entirely new Misfits cast - Curtis, and then we have Rudy (who had been present since season 3), and then we have new additions Jess, Finn and Abbey.

Let me tell you that by this point in the show, all of the fans had lost interest.

Not only had the two biggest fan favourites, Nathan and Kelly, left the show, but you now have to replace four out of the five original cast members with new ones that don't function the same way the originals did. What type of person is someone with X-ray vision trying to represent? You could argue that maybe Jess is good at figuring people out, but I don't really remember this being explored that much in the show. And the difference between this reflecting a minor personality trait is that the original cast didn't do that - in dumbed down terms, Alisha was a 'sket' who had the power to make people horny for her, oftentimes against her wishes, through skin-to-skin contact. That's much more impactful and there's a lot more to explore there.

Episode 7 of Season 4 of Misfits is the clearest indicator of the departure of the original show's intentions and explains perfectly why it didn't work the way it used to.

For the entirety of the season, Jess had been crushing on a guy called Alex from a bar she frequented (who later went on to replace Curtis as the fifth Misfits member in season 5, go figures) who, as far as we had seen, not at all reciprocated those feelings nor was there any indication of him wanting to.

In episode 7, we figure out why.

Jess, using her x-ray vision, finds out that Alex's penis was stolen by a trans man.

I'll be honest, when I first heard it, I thought it was a joke.

The show went from having a diverse cast, not only in terms of having two black characters in it's main cast, but also in it's diversity of character tropes that they aimed to subvert - to then having a mainly white cast in a show that actively perpetuates harmful stereotypes about trans people being dangerous.

Now, and I want to preface this, I don't think that the Dream SMP is malicious in the same way that the writing of that episode of Misfits is. I don't think the SMP is malicious at all. What I want to highlight is how the change in cast directly mirrored when the audience dropoff was and when the show itself started to go south in terms of quality, production and what they wanted to achieve.

For the sake of my argument, there is currently three seasons of the dream smp. The start of the server up until the end of the initial disc war is the prologue, season one encompasses Wilbur's L'Manberg and the Pogtopia arc, ending on November 16th, season 2 starts November 17th and ends January 20th (the disc war finale) and season 3 spans from January 21st to the present day.

Most of the fans of the Dream SMP can tell you that the primary story of the server is centred around quite a few certain characters who viewers started watching to see more of. I'm guilty of this myself - I primarily watch the SMP for Tommy's story, and I also stick around for Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo and a little bit for Phil, Techno and Jack Manifold. Those were the people I was invested in and those are the stories I like to follow. Not to discredit or to downplay the work or the stories of other characters, but I can imagine that there are a few people who watch the SMP primarily for a close few perspectives/storylines, and following some storylines over others just because you're not interested in them is completely fine and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

In season one, there was always things going on with my favourite characters. Tommy was always getting himself into spots of trouble and making up different schemes to get people to come visit L'Manberg as a tourist attraction, or getting people to support the rebellion, and this was interspersed with the heavier, plot-driven moments such as Wilbur's mental breakdown, the festival, the pit fight and the season 1 finale. This got me invested in him as a character because he had been there for quite a while and we'd seen him develop and grow into the character we now see in season 3.

In the back half of season 1 came Techno, who really shook things up and threw a spanner in the works and provided a totally different perspective - unlike Dream he didn't hate L'Manberg because he couldn't control it, and unlike Wilbur he didn't have a personal connection to it and he didn't know it's history. Techno initially hated L'Manberg because it was a government he knew nothing about (and still knows nothing about even today), and because violence and destruction is kind of his thing.

We had a well balanced cast of characters - not too many - that we could follow and who all had varying perspectives, experiences and personalities. We had clearly defined groups of individuals with different morals: you had the people on the side of Manberg, the people in Pogtopia who wanted Manberg blown up, the people in Pogtopia who didn't want Manberg blown up, and on the side to compliment it all you also had the Badlands, comprised of three longstanding members of the server,,,, and then Antfrost who was kidnapped by Tommy that one time. It was all wrapped up nicely in a neat little bow and there was structure to it all. There was one plot that went in one direction, and despite the many perspectives, it all ended up in the same spot and the story ended. There was a conclusion.

In season 2, the two primary additions to the 'cast' were Phil and Ranboo, whose characters complimented the existing story well. Phil functioned mostly as a successor to Wilbur alongside Ghostbur by exploring well the departure of Wilbur as a character in that moment, and he also functioned well as a companion to Techno's character. Ranboo, on the other hand, had a pretty good complimentary solo story that could be followed alongside the main plot, however his story wasn't too distant from the main story to the point where he was completely removed from it - he had direct involvement in different events such as the exile conflict, his connection to Dream as the main antagonist of the season and his involvement in blowing up the community house.

Season 2 starts with a focus on two different spaces - it breaks up a longstanding duo and the storyline diverges into two halves: Logstedshire and New L'Manberg, and you have Techno's short 'retirement' arc working decently to compliment it and also to set the tone for his character going forward in that season. In Logstedshire we see the aftermath of Tommy being exiled from L'Manberg by Dream - we see him endure what is (in canon) at least a month of isolation and physical and psychological abuse and it culminates on December 15th when Tommy rescues himself, jumps from the tower and goes to hide in Techno's house (which acts as a good precursor to his involvement in Techno's storyline in that season). On the other side, we follow Tubbo in L'Manberg dealing with Presidency - he talks a lot and gets 'friendly' with Dream, he prepares to run against Ranboo in the coming election cycle (primarily because he doesn't want to be President) and we see his interactions with the power-hungrier Quackity who all too often takes the reigns and this culminates in the creation of the Butcher Army, and following the Butcher Army's attack on December 16th, once again, we have two clearly defined sides:

One one side, we have Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy who represent L'Manberg, and on the other we have Tommy (who is unaware of the Butcher Army's attack), Phil and Techno, and more in the middle we have Ghostbur and Ranboo.

Season 2's finale format is a clear departure for the format of November 16th, but it's not a poor choice - I think, especially considering the story that they were telling, it worked perfectly. On November 16th, pretty much everyone was streaming their perspective of the event; at the time, there were even compilations of everyone's reactions to Wilbur blowing up L'Manberg. On January 20th, however, we only had two perspectives - Tubbo and Tommy.

I'll say it now, while Season 2 was definitely Clingyduo's season, it didn't focus solely on them. There was also a big focus on Techno as a character, whose arc came to an end a little earlier on Doomsday, and there was also a focus on Ranboo a lot as a solo character, and he streamed a little later on January 20th with what I refer to as the 'epilogue', where there was also a shift in his character to expect moving forward.

Why season 2's finale worked is because it was centralised around only three characters, only two of which we ever see the perspectives of, and it was the finale of the longest running storyline of the entire narrative - the disc war. Two boys who were on their last life, making their last stand at the one man who pulled the strings to make their lives miserable - those two perspectives only, and it worked. We didn't have compilations of everyone reacting to the things happening around them which worked for season 1, instead, we focused on these two characters whose turn it was to get the focus, and we had iconic and moving moments. We had the two boys walking down the prime path saying what they could only assume might have been their last goodbyes to the people that still had a shred of care for them, we had the two sailing to where they would face off against Dream for their final stand and finally talking about their feelings a little and dreading the implication that if they were both to die, nobody would live to tell their stories, we had Tommy choosing his best friend over his discs time and time again, and we had Punz - Dream's last confidant - standing against Dream and bringing everyone with him and sending him to prison, now on his last life too.

Everything about it was perfect. The more focused ending worked for the ending of season 2 because it was their time to have their climax moment - and it wasn't some spectacular display of explosions or violence like in Wilbur's finale on November 16th, where the ramifications hit everyone and we got to see it, nor was it a show of violence and almost oppressive dominance like Techno's finale was on Doomsday, where we saw everyone's breakdown and how the people contributing to the destruction of L'Manberg, no matter how righteous they thought they were, did not care to understand how much they were hurting and destroying the lives of the country's citizens. On January 20th, Tommy and Tubbo went into it thinking they were going to die, they got their asses handed to them despite how hard they tried, and they had their behinds saved by Tommy's preparative thinking by people who weren't there to save them more than they were there to get rid of Dream.

Season 3 suffers a lot from a lack of focus, awful pacing and really poor timing.

Seasons 1 and 2 occurred during the brunt of the coronavirus pandemic, where everyone was stuck at home and had more time to stream because it was their primary form of content and because it was the best way to communicate with their friends. Thus, the pacing of those seasons was extremely steady and things were always happening.

Now, lockdown restrictions have eased quite a bit, and creators can branch out a lot more and can meet with each other in real life and can do vlog-style content. Therefore, they don't stream as much, and the focus of the Dream SMP story has shifted more towards newer or sideplot characters. If you enjoy those characters, that's fine, but when they take the focus away from the characters and the storylines the majority are expecting, a lot of people won't try to keep up with it and from their perspective there'll be a massive lull in narrative content.

What I'm saying, is that Tommy streaming for thirteen days in a row in July 2021 is a fucking pipe dream. It happened in December because the story was consistent and the pacing was steady and he had the time and the want to be there. Now, Tommy's off making his vlogs and hanging out with his friends and thus he can't stream as much as he used to. He's sort of suffering from the Robert Sheehan problem, isn't he? Tommy is still involved with the Dream SMP and his story is definitely continuing, and his narrative in season 3 is really starting to pick up with the newer developments, it's just that he doesn't have as much time to play the role anymore because he isn't streaming as much.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing - it's obviously making him happy that his content is changing and I'm fully supportive of that.

So when all of these meetups are happening and we don't have as much content from the main characters that we follow anymore, what happens?

Well, the fans get a little itchy. This fandom, especially. They might throw out a comment or a tweet asking when they're going to stream on the SMP, or if they really don't understand why the Dream SMP is good, they'll ask when the next 'lore stream' is, and they'll lament a little about how the content and the story has slowed, especially in contrast to the fast pacing of season 2 which only lasted a little over two months with much more story going on than in season 3 despite it having been going on for triple the time. What they'll get in response is that the Dream SMP is still going on and that lore is still happening.

On all accounts, these statements aren't incorrect. Lore still is happening.

But when you've been following lovable characters for two seasons, setting up their struggles and then switching the focus onto newer or 'sideplot' characters that you haven't really followed before, there's going to be a bit of moaning about it on twitter dot com.

The SMP now suffers from having too many characters, too many unfocused narratives, and poor pacing/ditched or unfinished storylines from the characters we used to follow and love while we're being told to love other characters instead.

I never really cared too much about the egg subplot, I'll be honest. I was a little interested in the involvement of Sam, Puffy and Ponk, but other than that, I wasn't really too invested. It very much tried to replicate the 'you should have paid me more' moment from January 20th at the Red Banquet, and it really didn't hit as hard because most of the characters there were either ones that didn't belong there at all (like Niki, Fundy, HBomb, and Purpled), weren't that involved with the plotline and felt out of place with the established characters in that storyline (Techno, Quackity and Ranboo), or were new characters that were difficult to get on board with because they hadn't really had too much of a story beforehand (Hannah and Foolish), or in the case of Antfrost, characters with no known motivation to be there other than that being the storyline they're currently in. Not to discredit those involved or their characters, but the Red Banquet really tried to replicate what the disc finale did with it's focused perspectives and it's Punz moment, and it failed.

Now, following the egg subplot's finale, I'm meant to focus on Las Nevadas, Snowchester and the Syndicate.

Las Nevadas is the most consistent storyline, however it's biggest problem is that it is filled with new characters or ones that are barely there. Despite how long he's been on the server, Purpled really is a new character if only because he's only really become a character recently - Foolish is still considered new, Slimecicle is new, Fundy rarely streams on the SMP. The only consistent longstanding and heavily involved characters that are a part of Las Nevadas are Quackity and Sam, and even their streams are infrequent, with a lot of Sam's perspective not even focusing on Las Nevadas but instead the prison.

Snowchester's plot is very much dying, dead and in the water. She's suffering. We haven't seen Michael in over a month, a nuke is still missing, Jack Manifold is dubiously a citizen and Tubbo doesn't even think he has a character on the SMP. It breaks my heart.

The Syndicate suffer from a lack of existence. The four characters really aren't a friend group in canon - all of the stuff about them hanging out all the time and them basically being a book club is all fanon. They've hung out as a four all of twice, the first time they ever got together they celebrated someone's death and then basically invaded Snowchester to give themselves a reason not to destroy it, terrifying Tubbo in the process. The second time was because it was Techno's birthday.

Now, Techno is in prison, and the only reason Phil hasn't read the will to progress the story is likely because of difficult scheduling with other server members, which is written off in canon as Phil not wanting to accept the possibility of Techno potentially dying.

Literally reading the will and having the Syndicate figure out that Techno's in prison with Dream will solve all of season 3's formatting issues and have the story back on track.

Currently, we don't really have two clearly defined sides the way we always had. We were meant to root for L'Manberg against the Dream Team, we were meant to root for Pogtopia against Manberg, and in season 2 we had a lot more moral ambiguity and room for side switching between the forces of Dream, Techno and Phil against L'Manberg, and then we rooted for Clingyduo against Dream.

I can predict that if the will is read, here's how a good conflict can arise.

Two clearly defined different sides - Las Nevadas on the side of Pandora's Vault, and the Syndicate (currently consisting of Phil, Ranboo and Niki), and you have compromises to make. If the side of the Prison wins, Techno and Dream stay in Pandora's Vault without a proper trial and being treated inhumanely, and there's also the threat of the rest of the Syndicate also being imprisoned. If the side of the Syndicate wins, the prison is taken out and Techno and Dream are no longer being treated inhumanely - problem is that Dream's out, and he's very much dangerous because despite what c!Dream apologists will tell you, he's not docile and he's not going to have a healing arc with Techno because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and Techno can't tell him that he's done anything wrong (because Techno is the most wilfully ignorant character who gets to be political it's INSANE) - he'll go right back to the evil, abusive bastard he was, obsessed with Tommy, probably worse now that he can easily get Wilbur to do anything he wants and more vindictive against Quackity. Plus, if the Syndicate take down Las Nevadas they'll hold the most power on the server systematically and the so-called anarchists will ironically be the top dogs of the server.

Then towards the middle you'll probably end up having Wilbur, Benchtrio and Jack Manifold - Tubbo and Jack would prefer Techno and Dream staying in prison, except Tubbo's really not on the greatest terms with Q at the minute (because Q's paranoid and making conflict with parties that would have otherwise helped him out and thought they were friends), whereas Tommy would be stuck between wanting Techno out but needing to either keep Dream in or kill him, and Wilbur will be having to pick between aiding Dream's escape from prison or staying with Tommy, because he can't have both. Ranboo will probably be having the same problem as Tommy, except he's on the side of the Syndicate and will have to pick between the Syndicate or keeping Dream imprisoned.

Season 3 is salvageable, it really is. You can fix the poor pacing and you can fix the lack of focus with literally one revelation from fucking Philza M|necraft. But as it stands now, season 3 suffers from a similar situation as Misfits - almost replacing the cast of characters we've followed for the longest time with a new one in a format completely different to the original seasons.

[one-boring-person]

Hey again! I know I just asked for one and I don’t wanna be bothersome, but I saw that Raymond Tango is on your list and I was hoping I could get an imagine with him and maybe Gabriel Cash as well?

Something like the reader works at the prison where they end up and helps them out when they’re jumped? Or whatever scenario you can think of 😁 Please add a lot of flirting if you can

I actually watched Tango and Cash and the Expendables because of your imagines 😆 And I’ll probably keep discovering more awesome movies thanks to you!

I also had an idea for Rambo where the fireworks on the 4th of July trigger his ptsd and the reader is there to comfort him? (It was Canada Day today so there were fireworks in my hometown to celebrate and I got the idea for it 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Thank you so very much!!! 💕

I'm really sorry for the wait, but I hope you like this!😊❤

Tip-Off.

Ray Tango x reader x Gabe Cash (Tango and Cash)

Warnings: injury, swearing, mention of violence, mention of gun use

Masterlist

Finally, I manage to fling the door open, the thick metal clanging loudly as it slams against the wall, announcing my arrival to the room behind it. Gritting my teeth, I crash through it, yelling out to the inmates I know are gathered there, my standard handgun held at the ready. I hate to use it, but I know very well that many of the people turning to face me won't move unless threatened by something a little more dangerous. 

The room is lit with a drab light, keeping most of the thugs' faces cast in shadow as they turn towards me, shouts of surprise and panic filling the air. As if startled by a ghost, the lot of them suddenly retreat into the darkness, doors banging open and shut around the perimeter, many of them cursing loudly as they clear out. Frowning, I move further into the room, shouting at them hoarsely, my head rotating quickly to make sure I'm not being ambushed by any of them. Thankfully or not, they disappear quickly, leaving me alone in the deserted area with two familiar people hanging by their necks from the ceiling above large troughs of water. Upon closer inspection, I notice that the water is electrified, a sparking cable lying a metre or so away. 

"Hey, hey, what's going on?! Don't just leave us hanging here, kill us or let us down! You shitbrains!" I groan in realisation as I notice exactly who is hanging from the ceiling, the two captives facing away from me.

"Are those my only options, or would you rather I tried to get you down?" I call out to the only one of them who is actually moving, walking round to face them.

"Huh? Who're you?" It's Raymond Tango, the one still writhing on his hook. His partner, Gabriel Cash, hangs listlessly, head drooped, blood dripping from his lip.

"The reason you're still alive." I frown, tapping Cash's foot.

"Oh, it's you. Feel like helping me down?" Ray stares at me, fear still bright in his eyes as he shifts in his bindings.

"Don't sound too grateful. I just saved your ass." I roll my eyes, but move to start helping him.

Going closer, I ignore the dark-haired man's expectant expression, bowing so that I can heave the troughs of water out of the way, first. It isn't easy: the containers weigh tonnes, their contents sloshing all over the place as I brace my shoulder against the battered steel, muscles straining to dislodge them. A grating screech sounds from the base of the troughs as they rasp along the hard ground, but I eventually manage to get them clear, panting by the time they're significantly out of the way. 

"Ok, this is probably gonna hurt a bit." I warn Ray, before going over to the knots at the end of the ropes holding them up.

"What is- argh!" The detective yelps in surprise as he drops unceremoniously from the ceiling, landing with a thud on the cold stone floor.

I leave Gabe's line for now, going over to help Ray up as he rolls onto his side, groaning in pain. Untying him, I check him over for any particularly bad wounds.

"Couldn't you have done that a little less painfully?" Ray grumbles as he moves to sit upright, wiping away blood from his nose, groaning. 

"Sorry, next time I'll bring a mattress." I roll my eyes again, "You'll live. Now help me with Cash."

"Can't we just leave him there? He makes quite a nice light fixture." Ray jokes dryly, climbing wearily to his feet.

Shooting him a pointed look, I try to ignore the small spike in my pulse as I regard the dishevelled detective, not for the first time admiring his chiselled good-looks. Swallowing down the idle thoughts, I move back to the end of Gabe's line.

"Catch him, will you?" I tell Ray, loosening the knot, Cash's limp body dropping ever so slightly as I do so.

"The lump'll crush me!" He complains, but goes to stand underneath him anyway, reaching up to brace Cash's thighs with a grimace.

"You know, your jibes would have much more effect if he were awake." I smile wryly.

Ray doesn't say anything, but sends me a quick smirk anyway, knowing I'm right. 

Turning away, I untie the knot completely, looking back to see Cash fall onto Tango, his torso rocking precariously as the latter struggles to hold him up. Rushing over, I reach out, arms outstretched as the two start to fall, Gabe landing heavily in my grip, throwing us all to the floor. We land heavily, a dull pain erupting in my back from the impact.

Winded, I lie there, Gabe on my chest, Ray on his rival's stomach, breathing heavily as we try to recover. Against me, Gabe shifts slightly, moaning in his unconsciousness, making me force myself to sit upright, his head now in my lap, Ray still trying to catch his breath on his back. Looking down at the man on my thighs, I brush aside some hair from his face, swiping away a little blood from his lip, glancing up to see Ray staring at me, jaw tight. Confused, I go to say something, my brow cocked, only to stop when a pained voice trickles up from between us.

"This isn't what I expected from the afterlife." Gabe murmurs, eyes barely open as he gazes up at me, licking his dry lips.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Cash." Ray jumps in, pushing himself back up.

Frowning, Gabe lifts his head, opening his mouth to speak, before closing it again, the sharp response clearly struggling to materialise.

"Come on, let's get you untied." I chuckle, moving to shift out from under the detective in my lap.

Gabe groans, whining as I roll him over, Tango reaching over to loosen the knots of his ties. Once free, he lazily tries to return to his original position, only to complain when he finds out I've moved. Now standing, I look down at the two with a fading smile, quickly becoming serious as I think back over the gravity of the situation. The two notice, joining me in standing, Gabe rapidly adjusting his clothes as Ray wipes blood from his lip.

"Whoever set you guys up has a serious problem with you two." I muse, scratching my chin in consternation.

"Wait, you believe us?" Ray sounds surprised, his rival regarding me with a similar expression. 

"About what?"

"The setup." 

Glancing at him, I tilt my head.

"Yeah, of course. What, you thought I was one of the bribed guards? After all the tip-offs I gave you both?" I shake my head in exasperation.

"Pretty dumb, if you ask me, Tango." Cash comments, smirking as he runs a hand through his hair, betraying his nerves.

"And who didn't listen to the tip-offs?" I tease him, grinning as Ray sends him a pointed look. 

"Hey, I've had a lot on my mind!" Gabe protests, before he conspiratorially rakes his gaze over me, "A certain someone in particular."

Blushing, I wave him off, muttering a quick "behave" before gesturing for the two detectives to follow after me.

"You're disgusting, you know that?" Ray hisses to Gabe as they limp along behind me, a scoff following this as we reach the door I came through.

"And you think you're better? Come on, man, I've seen you staring at her when she does her rounds. Your cellmate practically has to wipe the drool from your chin." 

"I'm not deaf, you know." I sigh, leading them into a side room,  where a desk and few chairs have been pushed to the wall, a couple of pieces of equipment sat neatly where I left them.

The two men enter behind me, frowning at the sight of the small room, confused by its purpose. Naturally, Gabe is quick to recover and goes straight to one of the chairs, sitting down and leaning back in it, head tilted back so that his mane of golden hair falls down between his shoulder blades. Ray eyes him disdainfully, only to take a seat near him, running a hand through his own hair, muscular arms flexing as he does so. It's a struggle for me to keep my eyes averted from them both as I go to the table in the centre and take out my first aid kit, opening it to check inside. 

"Ok, who's first?" I finally look up at them both, my cheeks warming up as I am met with two intense stares, neither looking away as I make eye contact.

"I'll go!" Gabe interrupts Ray before he can speak, hopping up and coming over to me, leeching on the table with a grin.

Shaking my head, I take some gauze and start to clean out the worst wounds he received, which I soon find are not particularly bad, so I move to check that he's not concussed at all. Removing a small penlight from my keys, I hold it up to his face, placing a finger under his chin to level his head properly. 

"Ok, stare straight ahead." I tell him, not quite realising why he's smirking until I realise that he's decided to stare straight at me, blue eyes fixed on mine. Shaking my head, I once more ignore the blush on my cheeks as I check if his eyes are dilating properly, quickly moving to check his response as I move my hand in front of his face. Thankfully he seems to be ok, everything working as it should be. 

"All done." I tell him, placing the penlight down on the desk beside him, glancing back up in time to see him leaning in. Surprised, I have no time to react before he's pressed a quick kiss to my cheek, the blonde smirking as he hops off the bench, eyes glittering mischievously. 

Ray makes a sound of disapproval, glaring at Gabe as his rival steps past, muscles tensed up as he tries to fight back the (very) obvious jealousy. Quickly, he takes Cash's place on the table, looking at me gratefully as I start cleaning up the wound on his head. His dark eyes don't leave mine the entire time, unnerving me a little.

"So what do we do now?" He eventually asks, voice low as I stand close to him to make sure the cut is properly dressed.

"You guys need to get out of here." I muse, chewing my lip as I work, "It's just how we're gonna do it that's difficult."

"We?" Gabe sounds hopeful, though I can hear a little jealousy in his tone. This confuses me, until I realise why: Ray has gently placed a hand on either side of my waist, most likely under the pretense that he needs a hold to ground himself. 

"Y-Yeah, we. I don't think you two will make it out without help." I tell him, calming my nerves as my pulse picks up, swiping the gauze over Ray's head once more before taking up the penlight again.

"And you're offering? Won't that lose you your job?" Ray questions, surprised at what I've said.

I sigh, standing back upright once I've checked his eyes.

"If I get caught, yeah, it will. At least it'll be for good reason." I shrug, stepping back out of Ray's grip, somewhat reluctantly.

Taking advantage of this, Gabe steps closer, placing a reassuring hand on my lower back. Unused to this kind of affection, I look up at him, expression somewhat blank as he speaks.

"You're sure about that?" He queries, searching my face for hesitation.

"Yeah, I am. What happened to you two wasn't fair, so I think it's good if you get your revenge." I nod firmly, glancing back at Ray, who smiles at me, "Look, I'll come up with a plan as soon as I can. For now, you two need to try and stay alive."

"Easier said than done." Ray murmurs, but agrees nonetheless.

"For you, we will." Gabe teases, tapping my chin with a grin.

[linklethehistorian]

BSD Season 4 Reveal: Initial Impressions

Speculation and initial personal thoughts under the cut due to spoilers for the manga up to Chapter 95.5, and Storm Bringer (and also the Fifteen light novel and the previous anime seasons, but I should expect that’s a given by now and no longer requires a spoiler warning to begin with, since it’s been years).

Hello, everyone! It’s good to see you again! As I’m sure you all know, last night I was made aware of the announcement for BSD anime Season 4, and now that I’ve gotten some decent sleep and had some time to reflect on the announcement with a clearer and more alert mind, I’d like to share all of my initial musings on the matter with you — both positive and negative.

I actually do have a quite a few points I’d like to cover, so rather than going on one long, messy rant, I’m going to be separating them into different sections as per my two previous articles — here and here (the latter of which is still in progress) — on the animated series.

With that out of the way, let’s begin!

Season 4 Light Novel Adaption Expectations & Thoughts

Given the series’ at-times-beloved-and-at-other-times-disastrous past tradition of including a light novel adaption into each season of the anime, I do think it should go without saying that the speculation on which one, if any, will get chosen to be “brought to life” through the TV series this time is a very valid avenue for anyone to want to go down immediately upon finding out that there is going to be yet another season.

Personally, I don’t think any speculative analysis of a new season is complete without that kind of banter, so let’s explore the possibilities and what exactly they each entail, shall we?

Ordinarily, I would have tended to go on a longer ramble about the situation and all of its implications than I actually will this time around, but thankfully, most of what I’ve already said and the reasoning I’ve already laid out in my speculative article on the previous season still holds up, so today, I will mostly just be building off of that, instead. (If you haven’t read that already, I do highly recommend reading it before you finish this mini-article, but it isn’t strictly necessary, for I’ll probably quote or summarize most of the important parts here.)

As stated there, while there are, in fact, still many light novels to cover in the anime before we’ll have seen them all — Untold Story, 55 Minutes, BSD Gaiden, BEAST, and the at-the-time-unknown-of Kunikida and Katai's Magnificent Days short story and Storm Bringer — when we take into account informative relevance to the current arc and all previous seasons, we are really left with only a few possibilities.

BSD Gaiden, being a spinoff in its own right, is, if anything, better suited to being a movie — or better yet, becoming its own spinoff animated series, sometime in the distant future, and has nothing of major relevance to contribute to the main series at all at present.

BEAST, while informative in some ways about the Book that is so highly sought after and semi-used in Season 4′s arc(s), is honestly the farthest of all light novels from being necessary to introduce into the main animated series. To quote the aforementioned piece I wrote prior to Season 3′s release:

Yes, [...] I too agree that the things this novel brings to light about the Book and its functionality are almost as insightful and compelling as the very premise itself; however, [...] in the end, this story is an AU and therefore has the least necessity to be brought into the animated series in any way, and I’m quite sure that if any of the information from it regarding the Book is truly essential to the main series, it will be brought up at some point within those events on its own, as I can’t imagine that Asagiri would ever leave critical information only within what otherwise would appear to be an entirely optional side story/spinoff. [...]

If BEAST is to be animated at some point at all [...] I feel that it would be best served [...] as its own standalone movie, probably ideally released sometime after our hypothetical Season 4, which should be fairly Book-centric in itself.

Furthermore, now that BEAST has its very own, fully-fledged live-action movie coming out, as much as I may enjoy the idea of seeing it animated someday, I really don’t think that that will — or even should — be taken into consideration anytime in the near future, when there are many other novels already waiting to get their chance to come to life in a movie or TV series that haven’t gotten such special treatment or privileges.

In regards to the Kunikida and Katai's Magnificent Days short story, I’ll admit that is the novel (if it is to be called such) I know the least about at present, but from what I do know about it, although it does star two characters who appear in both Season 3 and Season 4, it also doesn’t seem to establish anything of critical importance to either of these seasons, or the main story as a whole. Thus, I feel that placing it as this season’s light novel adaption — although it may be able to be squeezed into a very small number of episodes with no issue, from what I understand, if not just one — would be a waste of both time and opportunity, if they’re determined to keep with this tradition; I think it would really just be better off being adapted as a bonus OVA of some sort later on, if they felt the need to animate it, as I frankly don’t feel it’s long enough or high-stakes enough to be worthy of an entire movie, however cute or touching it may be. As for 55 Minutes, while I do think it’s one of the better candidates out of the bunch to be chosen, my feelings about it ultimately still remain as they did over two years ago: that it would be best relegated to a movie, either released sometime between the previous season and Season 4, or — given the better understanding I obviously have of Season 3′s contents now — between Season 4 and a potential Season 5, depending on how far into the manga we truly go in this season (more on that question in the next section).

If you would like to know more about my reasoning for why I think 55 Minutes could be considered a good candidate to go alongside Season 4′s (or a potential Season 5′s) main arc(s) at all, you can read about that in my previous article’s section on the subject, as well why I think that although it is a good candidate, between it and Untold Story, the latter is really a much better fit to be integrated directly into the new episodes. As much as I would like to talk about that again here, I think it would just be a massive waste of time to merely (and probably poorly) re-iterate what I’ve already said and documented very well in the past, when that information is presently available for you to go back and read at any time.

Now, with all of the above eliminated from the running, that ultimately leaves us with the two possibilities I think are most feasible for them to choose: Untold Story and Storm Bringer.

Oh, and I know, I know — I can hear the metaphorical stones being cast at me already; how dare I mention Storm Bringer as an option above all those older novels for them to pick? I’m clearly just biased and want to see more of my favorite character/story getting animated, or I must be a Soukoku shipper (I’m personally not, by the way), or some such thing; go ahead, get it out of your systems, I know it’s probably in there from the moment you read that, but, if you do think any of that, you’re actually very highly mistaken...sadly.

I would love to have listed Storm Bringer of my own volition, because I’m “biased” and excited about it; that would definitely be a more fun reason for me to have done it, personally, but...that’s not remotely the case.

In actuality, if I got to choose between the two novels in regards to which would get to be this Season’s light novel representation in the anime, I would actually still choose Untold Story, just as I did for the then-hypothetical Season 4 I explored the possibility of prior to Season 3′s release. 

To quote myself during that time, I still very much do believe that:

[...] yes, [...] you could absolutely adapt Untold Story into season three, and yes, it would give everyone even more information than they already had and perhaps even more reason to feel the way they already do about [Fukuzawa and Ranpo and their bond], but if you’re looking for the story to actually have an impact on anything, you would be better off waiting until it would have some kind of effect on the overall plot, provide some form of insight towards it, and aid in altering the way things are perceived; an opportunity which is clearly presented to us in the form of the manga’s Chapter 65 and Chapter 66 — which, in the anime, would manifest themselves as episodes within Season 4.

In these chapters, it is shown how Fukuzawa fought Mori for the freedom of the young Yosano Akiko and how he and Ranpo together gave her the chance to join the Armed Detective Agency as its second ever member.

If Untold Story were to be introduced at the beginning of Season 4 or even well into it, just before these episodes, it would have a very heavy impact on the overall story, and it would lend even more importance and depth towards all of the characters that are involved, while also displaying the extreme contrast between the methods, morals, and personalities of the two heads of the series’ leading organizations to an even greater degree than ever before.

I still stand by what I said there, now and forever; Untold Story is without question the light novel that has a place in these new episodes — that is not, and never was up, for debate.

The real question is, though, does Studio BONES feel the same way about it as I do?

I’d love to say “yes, absolutely!”, but the reality is that despite technically getting what I wished for and knew could have been best last Season, it was that same ‘granting’ of my wish in the way that they did — butchering and bloodying it beyond recognition and removing nearly all of the reasons why I thought it belonged in that season in the first place in favor of rampant fanservice — that opened my eyes to the very harsh reality that quite frankly, BONES cares more about raking in that sweet, sweet cash from SKK content than preserving narrative integrity, at the end of the day.

Trust me, being the dedicated and passionate Fifteen and Arthur Rimbaud/Randou fan that I am, I would love to be able to say that if they do choose Storm Bringer over Untold Story, it would at least all be for the right reasons of wanting to deliver on giving us the rest of the tale they presented to us last season, but that motive is an utter impossibility, even if they someday try to claim it, when the way they butchered Fifteen ensured that at least 70% of the plot and lore that actually mattered in Storm Bringer was destroyed beyond redeeming, unless they go back and redo it — which they won’t, because that would be admitting to their error.

As things stand right now, because of that fact, even as a fully-fledged, several hour animated movie, Storm Bringer would be an utter disaster of a film, much less as a 400+ page beast of a novel — more than three times the size of any light novel before it, including its predecessor— crammed into the space of 3-4 measly episodes in the television series.

Quite frankly, although I fear this may sadly be a very hot take, unless that miracle happens and they somehow, someday decide to abandon their pride and redo Fifteen correctly, I would really rather they never touched its sequel at all — even if that means I never get to see an animated Storm Bringer; I would rather never see it in that medium than to see it and have it butchered.

Unfortunately, though, I know all too well that that novel is much too tempting for them to resist forever; not because of the amazing, deep, beautiful, simultaneously tragic and hopeful story it can tell, or because of the well-written cast of characters, but because of the opportunity for fanservice it brings.

I am not delusional; I know that it will be animated at some point — whether that is now or later — and when it is, it will be a pitiful, cash-grabbing disaster that has no right to share its title with the novel from which it claims to have been born. The only question we have is “when is that going to happen — in Season 4, or later?”, and sadly, I don’t have an answer to that.

Personally, I see a high probability they will try to animate it soon, but whether or not that means including it in the upcoming season is anyone’s guess; all we can do right now is hope that if they do try to fit a light novel into it, it will be Untold Story, instead.

The Hunting Dogs Dilemma: A Concerned Exploration of Season Length & Exhausted Resources

Of course, that brings us to the next issue: should there even be a light novel adaption this season? I know this is a much-debated topic in the fandom, but personally, I have always been of the highly controversial opinion that yes, they do belong there — at least, until now, and that’s all thanks to a little something — and a good many someones — present on the newest poster.

While I may be just as excited for the new season as the next person — yes, despite my reservations and how my initial public reaction may have come off, I actually am looking forward to the new episodes in general — the very fact that we’re apparently getting so far into the arc as to see the Hunting Dogs and the Aerial Casino period, much less on the main illustration...concerns me.

I had honestly hoped and expected, for several reasons that I will elaborate on within this post in just a short while from now, that the Season would end on the Chapter in which the Hunting Dogs first arrive on the scene in their pods, after the Armed Detective Agency is ‘revealed’ to supposedly be the Decay of Angels via the use of the Book.

With the revelation now shown to me that it will apparently be going farther than that — and potentially still include a light novel adaption — we are once again forced to return to the age-old query we explored last season: just how many episodes does this season intend to have?

Up until now, every season in the Bungou Stray Dogs anime has had a total of 12 episodes on average, and it would be very logical to assume that Season 4 is going to be no different. Yet, if that’s true, how exactly do they intend to fit all of these chapters into one season? It’s utterly ludicrous to even dream of doing such a thing — and that’s without taking any potential chosen LNs into account; without that, it’s already impossible, but with it, it’s even more so!

Perhaps if they decided to do a 24 episode season and forego the LN adaptation — which I find highly unlikely, but let’s go ahead and give them the benefit of the doubt for a moment — it could somehow work, but even then, the question remains of just how far they intend to go with the arc. Ending it at the point just before the Hunting Dogs are all introduced would have made sense; it was logical, it left a cliffhanger for a potential fifth season that would leave viewers definitely wanting more, and it would leave a fair amount of content already in existence for that next season.

Try as I might, I just cannot begin to fathom what good can come of trying to cover much more than that in Season 4; where will they end it? Do they intend to finish the entire current arc in this season somehow, when at the time of writing this, the ending isn’t even out yet? How do they intend to cram all of that into just 24 episodes, let alone a potential 12? Hell, what do they even intend to do for a Season 5 if they push that far and leave themselves few to no current manga chapters left once they’re done with and release the season? To exhaust all of your current resources like that, when you could easily get away with shoving in a light novel adaption and ending Season 4 at the aforementioned logical spot, with plenty of content left to spare, just seems entirely reckless on their part.

I have all of these questions, and absolutely no answers to give; it isn’t sustainable, it isn’t wise, it isn’t even profitable, and it confuses me beyond belief.

Season 5: To Be or Not to Be — A Look into the Potential Future of an Animated Series that Has Spread Itself Too Thin

So, if all of this is true, and they intend to push through to the eventual defeat of Fukuchi and the Decay of Angels, what awaits us at the end of it all? Is there even hope for the animated series to easily continue and thrive beyond that point?

I want to be positive, to end this on some spectacular final section that gives all of my readers — my fellow BSD fans — hope, to have my words be like a warm, friendly pat on the back that says “don’t worry; everything is going to be just fine! ^-^”, but if I intend to continue to be honest, all I can really do is try to look at the statistics of the situation and offer up the most likely probability as a potential answer, and from where I’m standing right now, it...sadly isn’t looking very good.

True, it did take them a little more than two years to announce the anime this time — definitely a bit longer than the length of time between Season 2′s and Season 3′s announcement, comparatively — but even so, if they want to continue this pattern of averaging a new season every 2-3 years (supposing Season 4 doesn’t jump the shark with this new, bold tactic and actually does well enough to warrant another season at all), will they even have enough new content to make by the time a Season 5 would roll around?  Honestly? I don’t know the answer to that; every arc has been a different length — some longer than others, and this current Decay of Angels one definitely being the longest of them all yet, spanning over a whopping 50 chapters long and counting. We don’t know how long the next arc will be; it could be 16 like the smallest arc to date, it could be around 20 like the average arc seemed to be up until this point, or it could even be as many as this arc or more. 

Even if we are optimistic and say that the next arc could be as low as 16-20 chapters long, when we factor in that the current arc hasn’t even ended as of writing this, and seems to at least have another 10 chapters to go before the end — if not way more — that’s still a good 26-30 chapters of content that needs to be produced before Season 4 can be finished, and Season 5 can be remotely feasible.

To quote my previous article: 

A new chapter of the BSD manga comes out once a month in the Young Ace magazine; this means that in one year, barring any potential breaks, a total of 12 chapters are released.

If we presume that Season 4 comes out sometime next year, that could be enough for this arc to have ended in the manga just before its premier, but definitely not enough time for much of anything else to have been produced.  Assuming Season 4 could span anywhere from 3-6 months depending on how many episodes it contains, by the time it ends, around 3-6 new chapters of the new arc could potentially exist, should Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa35-sensei take no breaks; that would mean they would still have to wait at least another year to a year and a half to have enough content to even begin talks about a potential Season 5, then probably spend another year or so working out the specifics before making the announcement, and then it could take potentially another half-year to a year before it’s out. That’s three to three and a half years for the next season; it’s not undoable by any means, but definitely not the most ideal situation ever.

If the next arc is longer, however, and reaches, say, 30 chapters, you’re looking at a good four and a half years before we get a Season 5, after Season 4 ends, and even longer than that if it becomes as impressively long as the current arc and they intend to do the entire thing in one go again.

Could the animated series stay relevant enough to survive another four and a half or more years without another season after this? Potentially, it could, supposing they make Season 4 really good somehow, despite these concerns, and keep the series in anime-only people’s hearts and minds by possibly renewing BSD Wan! for another season, and/or releasing new movies in the meantime (whether original content or LN-based), but once again, it’s certainly not ideal and could prove to be a major struggle for them in the future.

All I can really say is for now is to hope for the best, even if, like me, you manage your expectations so much that you are actually expecting the worst-case scenario. As I’ve said before, I actually do love the anime very much, save for the handling of the Fifteen adaption, and I do hope that it can live on and continue to be as great as it has, in my opinion, almost always been besides that.

I am, above all, thankful for this new season, and hope it is everything we dream of, even though I may not have the most positive outlook at the moment for all of the aforementioned reasons.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading my initial thoughts on Season 4; I feel like they’re certainly not as well-articulated as usual, but it is the best I can do on short notice, and without allowing myself to obsess over re-writing it a million times before finally getting around to posting it weeks or months later.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you have a wonderful day. 💖

Oh and BONES? Hands off Storm Bringer. 👀 🔪 

[angellesword]

PERSONA | KNJ

Kim Namjoon was a smart guy, genius even. But why couldn’t he figure you out?

Alternatively:

"Persona, who the hell am I?”

word count: 2.4k (one -shot) PART OF INTRO SERIES

pairing: professor!namjoon x student!reader

genre & content warnings: kissing, dry humping, smut (not explicit)

The club wasn’t the best place to hang out and Kim Namjoon knew it.

 It wasn’t like he was an introvert. He was actually the life of the party when he was still an undergrad student. College parties were usually held in his frat house.

Namjoon used to be a fun guy, always high and never dry.

 People liked him because of his personality. Everyone envied him for being a thot while still having the highest gpa in class; however, all of this changed when he decided to work at the university right after graduation.

 The thot guy with deep dimples was now known as the annoying and boring professor with deep dimples.

 This was why he knew it was a bad idea to go to a club. He wasn’t welcomed here anymore. Professors like him should be inside the office to work. He couldn’t afford to be seen by his students like this—by ‘this’ he meant that he couldn’t be seen when a girl was straddling his lap, kissing him fervently.

 He couldn’t help it though. You were so hot. Your soft lips felt good on the base of his neck. Your ass—God. He couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling of his big hands gripping your bottom.

 This was wrong in so many levels. You were sucking bruises all over his neck. He could only hope that he still had clean turtle necks or scarf to cover them. Namjoon knew it was inappropriate to show up in his class tomorrow while he was covered with hickeys.

 It was the first day of classes tomorrow. The beginning of new semester. He wanted to paint a new image in school.

 He wanted to appear like a cool professor. He no longer wanted to be called annoying and boring. He wanted his students to see him as a person who didn’t just care about getting As.

 Biology was already a difficult subject for many. College students didn’t need an ass of a professor.

 But change was never easy.

 Namjoon was fifteen minutes late on his first day of class. He could feel the judgmental stares and smirks of his students.

 He was so embarrassed. Namjoon hated people who were always late. He was strict when it came to attendance. There was no grace period. If you were late, even if it was only a few minutes, you would still be marked as absent.

 “Uhm.” Namjoon cleared his throat. He was standing proud and tall. The stern look was back. He wouldn’t let anyone intimidate him.

 “I’m Kim Namjoon, your professor for this—” He abruptly stopped introducing himself when he saw you.

 Namjoon blinked.

 He only drank two shots of tequila last night so he was sure that the girl he fucked in the nasty bathroom of the club was none other than you.

 How could he forget?

 It happened not more than a day ago. He was silently waiting for his drink when you came to him. You were so bold and so sexy when you introduced yourself; the dress you were wearing hugged your body perfectly. Your makeup was also on point—it was so different from the girl he was seeing now.

 You were seated on chair at the back. The empty spots on your either side were empty. It felt like no one wanted to sit beside you, which of course, he did not understand.

 You looked like a sin last night. Right now, however, you looked as though you were a saint. Bare face. Innocent eyes and comfortable clothes.

 You were wearing a knitted sweater and denim jeans. The look on your face made Namjoon felt like you didn’t remember him.

 God. He could only hope that you did not remember him. The thought of you telling everyone about what happened last night actually sent shiver down his spine.

  Just...what the hell would people think of him? He fucked one of his students, for God’s sake!

 Namjoon felt so stupid. Out of all the clubs he could visit, why did he choose the one near campus?

 He must be out of his mind.

  Should he talk to you? Should he force—beg you to keep your mouth shut and forget about what happened? It was a onetime thing, anyway. He didn’t even catch your name.

 He was horny and so were you. You were actually the one who came to him.

 Did you know?

 Did you know that he was going to be your professor this semester? Did you know him? Have you heard about what people thought of him? Were you like them? Did you think he was boring and annoying too?

 “Professor Kim?” One of his students called his attention, pulling him from his train of ugly thoughts.

 “Right.” Namjoon cleared his throat again. He glanced at you once more before proceeding with his introduction.

 Namjoon was the kind of professor who didn’t want to waste time. He consumed the whole three hours of today’s meeting even though it was just the first day of class.

 There was even a pop up quiz so that he could test the knowledge of his students with regard to the subject he was teaching.

 “Park Jimin,” Namjoon called. He was ruthless. He was loudly calling the names of every student so that the whole class could hear their scores in the quiz.

 “Fifteen!” Jimin smirked. The boy was proud since he had a perfect score.

 Namjoon continued the roll call. His breathing hitched when he heard your voice as soon as he called your name.

 “Four,” your voice was soft.

 Namjoon blinked.

 Four? Did you just say four?

 “I’m sorry?” Namjoon narrowed his eyes at you, making you blush.

 “Four.” You repeated, this time your voice was loud and clear.

 Some of the students tried not to laugh. You had the lowest mark. They thought you were stupid. How could you come to Kim Namjoon’s class unprepared?

 Namjoon was also the type of professor who would call the students who had low grades to recite every meeting. He thought that this would force the students to study. 

 “Kim Taehyung?”

The students were surprised when Namjoon simply brushed it off. Normally, he would ask the students to stand and explain why their score was low.

 What changed now? Why did he let you off the hook?

 “Nine.” Taehyung announced his score and the rest was history.

 Everyone rushed out of the door the moment Namjoon announced that class was dismissed. You were the only one taking your sweet time fixing your stuff. It was as if you had no energy at all.

 Namjoon’s heart was beating erratically as he looked at you. He was contemplating whether he should talk to you or just let things be, but before he knew it, he just found himself walking towards your direction.

 The two of you were the only ones in the classroom.

 Namjoon was facing your back so he gently tapped your shoulder, startling you.

 “Sorry,” your professor blushed. He looked like a big baby. Kim Namjoon was tall, the lab coat he was required to wear made him more intimidating. His deep dimples were the only reason why he appeared soft.

 “I’m sorry.” You copied his apology, causing Namjoon to look at you quizzically.

 Why were you apologizing? 

 You flashed an awkward smile before answering him.

 “I know you hate students with failing grades. It’s just that...” You bit your lower lip, trailing off.

 Namjoon knew it was creepy, but he ended up staring at your delicious lips. He wanted to slap himself for being like this.

 He was in school. He should act like a professional.

 “Never mind. I’ll do better next meeting. I promise.”

 Namjoon could only nod. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to confront you about what happened last night, yet you didn’t seem to care—it was as though this was the first time you met him.

 Should he act like nothing happened too?

 That’s probably the best thing to do.

 Namjoon realized that he shouldn’t worry about it anymore since weeks after your first meeting with him in class; you still didn’t act like you would expose him.

 You simply didn’t care about Namjoon. It actually made him think if the thing he had with you was only a dream.

 Except that it wasn’t.

 You proved him this when Namjoon was about to go home. His 8pm class just ended. He was walking in the hallway when you suddenly appeared, pulling him inside the janitor’s closet.

 “What are you doing—”

 You shushed Namjoon by kissing his parted lips. He was so confused, but he couldn’t make a sound because he heard a group of students passing by.

 “I hate Professor Kim so much!” One of the students wailed in annoyance.

 Namjoon’s jaw clenched. He was aware that his students hated him; though this was the first time he actually heard them say it.

 “I’ve been in his class for three fucking semester already! I just want to pass his stupid class!” Another one cried.

 Namjoon felt like he was going to explode. It wasn’t his fault that his students couldn’t reach his standards. He was simply doing his job.

 He wanted so bad to confront them, but you were stopping him—your mouth felt so good crashing against his lips. It was enough to distract him.

 The students didn’t stop ranting, though. They were still talking shit about Namjoon. You, on the other hand, busied yourself pleasuring him.

 “I’m going to give him zero stars in the evaluation sheet!”

 Namjoon clenched his fist upon hearing that. You heard it too, but instead of getting mad, you giggled.

 “Go to hell, Kim Namjoon!”

 “Don’t mind them.” You cupped both of his cheeks while humping your clothed heat against his thigh.

 Namjoon sucked in a breath.

 “You’re a piece of shit, Kim Namjoon!”

 “Focus on me, baby,” you kissed the shell of his ear and he couldn’t help but moan your name.

 The pain and pleasure continued.

 Pain of hearing his students talk shit about him despite him doing his best.

 Pleasure. The pleasure of your sweet mouth and cunt.

 You were amazing.

 Namjoon knew this was wrong. He always knew what was right and wrong, but then again, he still ended up doing the latter—he still ended up fucking you in the janitor closet and the next day, you still ended up ignoring him like nothing happened.

 It frustrated Namjoon.

 He should be grateful, right? You were keeping this a secret. You were acting like you weren’t down on your knees, facing his hips. What a relief. He still had a job. He was still feared and respected by many.

 This should be enough, but why did he want more? Namjoon was so attracted to you he felt his heart breaking every time you ignore him.

 “Fuck,” Namjoon crumpled your test paper. You failed the test. Again. Judging your output, he was sure that there was no way you would pass this semester.

 This frustrated him even more.

 He had an ugly thought. What if...you were only getting him all hot and bothered because you wanted him to give you high grades? If this was the case, then Namjoon was fucked. Doomed. Going to hell.

 He was certain you had him wrapped around your fingers. He would do anything you wanted. You just gotta ask.

 But you never asked—not even when he was rubbing circles in your clit.

 “N-Namjoon!” You bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

 The two of you were in his office. Anyone could walk in to you right now. Namjoon didn’t seem to care, though. He was lost in pleasure and you.

 You had him all riled up that he wanted nothing but to destroy you.

 You were acting like an innocent slut a short while ago. Namjoon didn’t know where you found the audacity to flirt with Jeon Jeongguk right in front of his face.

 But Namjoon wasn’t sure if he really hated it. He actually liked it when you were bold. He also liked it when you were acting all naive, like you didn’t know him.

 He liked both side of yours.

 However, he realized that he shouldn’t be unfair. He liked you, yes, but you were failing his class. He couldn’t just give you an A, right?

 Namjoon then decided to talk to Kim Seokjin, your coach. The former saw you practicing non-stop with your coach. Apparently, you were part of the school’s swimming team.

 Namjoon figured that the reason why you were failing his class was because you didn’t know how to manage your time. How could you practice five hours a day? Were you crazy? Were you trying to kill yourself?

 And so right after his last subject for the day, Namjoon went straight to Kim Seokjin’s office.

 Namjoon opened the door the moment he got the coach’s permission.

 “Good evening, Mr. Kim. What can I do for you?” Seokjin smiled at Namjoon. The latter cleared his throat before smiling.

 He parted his mouth to voice out his concern, but then no word came out. He was shocked to see you there.

 He didn’t realize at first that it was you who was talking to Seokjin before he entered the office.

 “Hello, Professor Kim.” The corner of your mouth turned up upon seeing his stunned expression.

 Fortunately Namjoon recovered quickly.

 “I’m glad you’re here.” Namjoon nodded at you. “We need to talk,” and then he switched his gaze at your coach. “With your coach.”

 Namjoon didn’t beat around the bush. He immediately told Mr. Kim Seokjin about his concern with regard to your failing grade.

 To Namjoon’s surprise, Kim Seokjin simply laughed.

 Namjoon felt insulted. This wasn’t funny. This matter was serious.

 Seokjin realized that Namjoon misunderstood his reaction, so he apologized.

 “I’m sorry, Namjoon. It’s just that you got it all wrong.”

 “What...do you mean?” The biology professor crossed his arms, his jaw tensing.

 “My dear mentee isn’t your student. I think you’re referring to her twin sister.”

 As if on cue, the door opened—revealing you. You came to pick up your sister.

 Seokjin saw how Namjoon’s eyes widened in complete horror, causing him to laugh again. This kind of encounter never failed to make Seokjin laugh.

 People always confused you with your twin.

 “Namjoon,” Seokjin smiled again. “I want you to meet the twins.”

 Namjoon’s world stopped.