#the last time I was active in the rpc these weren’t really a Thing so I’m trying to figure out what the vibe is yknow

[leatherforhell]

wait shit should I make an interest tracker

[oschvank]

did you have muse you tried to play, but ended up dropping for various reasons? (the rpc wasn’t active, you lost interest, etc) //munday

munday asks!!!  

09. ( did you have muse you tried to play, but ended up dropping for various reasons? (the rpc wasn’t active, you lost interest, etc) )

in the beginning of my roleplay years, for sure! it was about ten yrs ago, give or take, and little ol me thought i could handle countless blogs. my main one at the time was a naruko blog (fem! naruto). i absolutely ADORED her, and still do. i don’t want to say i ‘tried’ rp-ing her, because i did rp her. fully. letting her go was bittersweet, but i had great memories there & felt i did her justice. now, numbers aren’t so important to me, but having 1k+ followers on that blog boosted my ego lmfaoo.  i created hc’s upon hc’s, made amazing bonds, wrote fantastic threads, but in the end i deleted her bc i believe my chapter with her, my connection if you so will, had come to an end. im sure there were personal things that influenced me to delete the blog... because she IS a cheerful character, one of the HAPPIEST in my muse list, and for that reason, i don’t think i can go back to those types of characters. not entirely. 

so, with the less depressing things. i had made a fandomless oc bc there was a song i liked & i wanted to base their whole character on that song. he plummeted HEAVILY. i don’t even think i tried. fandomless oc’s weren’t as popular as they are now. i also made a fem!sasuke blog but that lasted for like three days & i got bored. then i made a senna blog! yes! the one from the bleach movie! i remember seeing her and absolutely falling for her. i loved how agile she was, her little flips and tricks, the motifs of falling leaves. her orange eyes. the ribbon at the end!!!! ugh i was a sucker for angst even then. but i think i stopped because i wasn’t getting a lot of interactions? i can’t quite remember (HahA)? it was hard to integrate her in everyone's canon compliant verse, i think, so i just eventually stopped. i was probably getting bored too bc she was my first muse in the bleach fandom. & i didn’t really know where to start or how to reach out to ppl. will i ever pick her up again? nah, i don’t think so. including nelliel, i already have three muses im looking after. 

oh. i also made a peter parker muse, too. but tbh i think i just wanted to make a pretty blog lol. he never reached past an interaction. 

[poppyluxe]

i wanted to talk about my own experience with toni / taylor / swiftofrph / margotofrph / admin baby / quinn etc. around the time of 2013 - 2016 ( phew plz be patient with me as i’m not great w/ writing things out so i’ll try make it as clear as possible ! )

i must admit that taylor and i had a friendship that for a while i really appreciated. i cared about her a lot, which is exactly why her behaviour was so triggering and somewhat traumatising towards the end of our friendship. however, i have made a few friends through this experience that i am so fucking grateful for. i just wanted to put this out there for those who run groups and/or those who are joining groups, who want to know what kind of person she is/was, and to be wary, lest she proves that she can change her behaviour. 

( tw; writing adult content with minors )  -  i met taylor in a smut roleplay group when i was sixteen, so it would’ve been 2013 i think ?? there were no age restrictions in this group, as i was sixteen at the time, and my best friend, who was fourteen, was also in the group. taylor was a legal adult at the time, yet interacted with the both of us, and often pushed me to complete her ships and write heterosexual smut - mostly haylor - with her despite the fact it made me uncomfortable. i was young, anxious and eager to please, so i’d give her the ships she wanted, so that she’d give me the ones i liked in return. ( i was wrong to have been in that group but at the time i wasn’t aware of how dangerous it actually was. i was very naive at this point in my life, and due to trauma i wasn’t very good at noticing red flags. )  i don’t think i really realised until recently that she was one of the many people in the rpc who would roleplay sexual content with me being a minor, and with my characters being minors too. ( i don’t have any reason to believe that she would do such a thing now, but the fact that she didn’t find it questionable then is very strange to me. the second i turned 18, i instinctively knew that it was fucking creepy to smut with anyone younger than myself at that time. )

she’s proved herself to be incredibly ignorant over the years i knew her. at some point she was suggesting latinx names for my white characters, and pushing me to join roleplay groups that ‘would be okay with lesbian characters’. the wording of this threw me off, because even then i was under the impression that every group should be okay with LGBTQ+ characters. she also allowed a straight, cis female character into a sapphic-centric group so long as the character pretended to be gay.

she dismissed my mental illnesses, and implied that i ‘drove people away’ with the way i worded things in the ooc. she knew me for years, and knew about my intense anxiety and the social awkwardness that came along with it. ( i’ll admit i’m a little at fault here, but as an admin she should have tried to be a little more understanding, especially as someone who suffered from anxiety herself. )  

she allowed bubble roleplaying and didn’t make an effort to resolve the issue. there were several times i was excluded from her group i was a part of and she did nothing to prompt people to reply to my posts or interact with me. it was very cliquey at the time, and when i brought up these issues she called me impatient and told me to ‘wait for people to reply’. the issue wasn’t people taking days to respond, it was that people weren’t replying. period. she made me feel guilty about wanting to drop my characters due to lack of interaction. 

SHE ALLOWED CONSTANT HARRASSMENT + BULLYING FROM OTHER GROUP MEMBERS. this was what caused me to end the friendship with taylor.  taylor had a friend join the group not long after myself who went by the name heaven. i’d plotted with heaven, and after two dead threads, i didn’t interact with them again because i was socially awkward and figured i’d annoyed them. until they interacted with a starter of mine, in which their character made an advance on mine, which mine reciprocated. days later, without having interacted with heaven again, their character was accusing mine of sexually assaulting them. from this point onward, the gossip blog was full of hate towards my character that was all very obviously from the person who went by heaven - though it wouldn’t surprise me if taylor was involved in this too. i told taylor and the other admin about this multiple times. the other admin wasn’t much help but she was definitely more sympathetic than taylor. taylor didn’t even give heaven so much as a warning, and they were allowed to continue their harassment for weeks until they got bored of bullying me and left. it didn’t last long, however. taylor then allowed this same friend to come back under a new alias. it wasn’t hard to figure out it was them, since their writing style was the same, and the second they joined the group, their character was harassing mine, and once again the gossip blog filled with hate for my character. a good deal of the messages were also subtle digs at me as a person also, which was devastating.   taylor allowed this to happen. and basically implied that it was my own fault because my character had a mental illness, and it made her unlikeable. she once again let this harassment continue for weeks, maybe even months. from this point onwards, i tried to avoid dealing with taylor. 

THIS WAS A TERRIBLY HORRIFYING AND TRAUMATISING ORDEAL. i have an array of mental illnesses, and she essentially allowed people to push me to a breaking point. even though she didn’t directly harm me, she was actively participating in it by allowing it to happen in a group that she was in control of.

i was so anxious to be on tumblr that making an indie was incredibly difficult for me. i was constantly worried about taylor making an indie under a different alias, and risking the chance of having to interact with her again. 

while i can’t speak on her behaviour now, i can definitely speak on how she’s behaved in the past. i believe that people can change, but it certainly doesn’t seem like she’s made much of an effort to. i can only hope she learns from this experience, educates herself and treats people with a little more kindness. 

[fineliines]

okay so before things get misconstrued, i have seen the post @pocmuzings posted and i have quite a lot to say at least to explain my side of the story. you guys can make the choice to believe me or not but everything on this post is the truth on my end. this is very long and i hope everyone takes the time to read it but it’s just a warning this is long.

first and foremost, you need to understand that i have never once in my entire life said the n word. i grew up in a household where i always knew the weight of that word and it’s heavy connotations my entire life; my mom, grandma and cousins always used the word despite being spanish because they were very racist and stereotyped the black community. i knew of that, i was young when they used the word (probably around elementary school age) and never spoke up because i was a child. however, i’ve always known it’s not the right word to say or is it my place to say it as a non-black poc. i’m unsure if the person sending the anon meant to say i was using the word or if it was my friend at the time in the post but i have never EVER said that word. i would never use that word, i’m not ignorant on it and have always known what it’s implications were.

secondly, the problematic friend in question was someone i knew in my real life. we went to high school together, we met through a mutual friend who looking back on it, that mutual friend sexually assaulted me at one point and BECAUSE of that incident and numerous other things that happened in that small friend group, i pulled away and found solace in this person. his name was cameron, he’s no longer in the rpc so i really don’t care about putting his name out there to help keep track while i write this out. to give more background on this, cameron wasn’t the kind of person i could simply “get rid of” like i could have if he’d been someone i met online. like i said, we went to high school together, we lived in the same town, we became INSEPERABLE-- i vacationed with him and his family on MULTIPLE occasions. my mom and his mom became friends, we spent holidays together, etc. this wasn’t someone i could write off. we met when i was around 15 years old and he was 17 and we stayed friends from me being 15 to around the age of me being 21... in fact, i believe our last outing together was my 21st birthday but that’s irrelevant. i am now 24. throughout the time that we were best friends, however, i got him into rping and we were in the rpc together for an extended period of time. cameron has always been extremely problematic and this was something i didn’t necessarily become aware of until later on in our friendship. we started rping together in american horror story roleplays which is where i first started and in general, those rp’s were very very problematic and dark; it was a completely different time in the rpc compared to now and i am 100% aware of that. 

cameron became notorious for causing drama wherever he went. in the ahs rp we were in, something happened between my character and someone else’s, anon hate was sent to the gossip blog or w/e about my character and it got to the point where i, myself, was being told to kill myself through anon hate because of whatever ship drama was happening. i was 15 years old and people on the internet were telling me to kill myself. cameron stepped in, defended me in the only way he knew how, started drama with the admins for not doing anything to stop the stuff being sent to me or help me and we got kicked out of the group as the solution to their problem. from that moment on, cameron simply never stopped causing problems and i often found myself getting dragged into things with him because we were friends and i stuck up for him because he usually stuck up for me. at some point as i got a little older, maybe 17/18, i can’t remember, me and him joined this subplot rp that this person who sent in the anon was running. yes, cameron and i became friends with the person, she was the admin, things were fine for a while and eventually, things in the group started getting slow so cameron wanted to leave and me, being the person i was at the time, followed him because he was my best friend. i remained somewhat friends with the anon but i always felt like things were strained between us BECAUSE cameron was always up to something; whether it was causing problems in the anon’s various groups she joined or simply leaving because he got bored or just being a general bully, befriending people and manipulating them and being ugly and problematic and racist. i can’t remember the anon ever talking to me about being uncomfortable with his actions because it was years ago and i’ll admit that at the time, it wasn’t important to me because i thought things were fine because her problems with cameron weren’t ever explicitly told TO me. i will admit that from the ages of 15-18, whenever cameron started drama or was problematic or did shitty things, i blindly followed him and never spoke up. i didn’t speak up because i felt like he helped me and defended me and PROTECTED me from my assaulter in real life and all the anon hate i got from this group that i owed him my loyalty. again, please keep in mind, i’ve been friends with him since we were both in high school, he wasn’t someone i could simply write off or get rid of at the time.

i started realizing he wasn’t a good person when i got a little older. i decided to open up a group that was based off college kids and it was based off the college i currently attend, ucf--- genuinely i don’t remember the url of the group but @wonclerland was in it with me because we were friends. cameron joined, obviously and at the time that i was admining, he didn’t do much. people joined who i’d met through a previous rp and to be honest, that group of people and i were 100% a really stupid clique of mean people. they were really mean and petty and ugly and i never said anything to them or about what they said because i wanted to fit in and again, i admit to that. some girl joined the group who went by the name athena or it was her alias, i don’t really know but apparently, she had beef with that group of people who joined and they claimed she was racist but could never properly pull up proof to show me or whatever. as an admin, i was caught in the middle trying to hear every side of the story. cameron befriended athena and all hell broke loose.  i ended up going to playlist live for a day and mistakenly, i had asked one of the people in the little clique of mine to run the main while i was gone for the day. in the span of the 8 hours i was gone, the clique had posted athena’s unfollow despite her not wanting to quit and blah blah blah. i shut down the group because i didn’t know what to do and it make me anxious and stressed. cameron and athena formed a group of friends FROM that group and started to go on the girl who posted the unfollow’s instagram and comment hateful, bodyshaming things. they went as far as editing a picture of the girl on photoshop to look like shrek. i saw this all unfold and realized what kind of person cameron was and decided to TRY to sever ties with him. multiple times after this, i attempted to call him out on his ugly behavior on the tail end of our friendship. we would get into really violent fights in person and he’d come to target where i worked at the time to scream at me and yell at me in person. i called him out for being racist and problematic and using the n word- in return, he took down an entire roleplay we worked on together because he made all the graphics and left the page empty and blank while i was at work and couldn’t do anything about it. him and his boyfriend would call me names, made fun of me when i confided in them and came out as bisexual and told me i was just looking for attention and many other fucking instances where i was made to feel like shit. every time i called him out about stuff he did or said at all, i had to deal with abuse from in person and because i didn’t know how to approach the situation or deal with it, i let him get away with treating other people in the rpc like trash.

cameron and i grew apart after he quit the rpc. he ran out of aliases to use to destroy groups and i was working on actively trying to get out of the wake of destruction him and the friend group that yes, i followed around, left behind. i put forth the effort to work on learning about racism more in depth, i went to therapy to deal with the assaults and stuff i was going through and i used writing to cope with it and found a solid group of people that were actually decent. i admit that i was part of the problem by not saying anything to cameron, i was terrified of him and losing the only friend i had in my real life at the time. i know what he did hurt a lot of people in the rpc, including now the anon, and i realize that my silence until much later was not of any help at all. my activism now isn’t performative--- i’ve tried so hard over the last few years to learn and educate myself on the blm movement and i’m still learning every day. my intentions and heart have never been malicious and i deeply apologize to you, oksi, if you read this because i know it’s you that sent that anon. i’m sorry that my silence and lack of maturity and balls to confront cameron hurt you and i’m sorry for being a part of the problem. i’m sorry to whoever knew me back then and saw the people i surrounded myself with and that i was so focused on fitting in and belonging to a group (even a really fucking shitty one) stop me from speaking up when it mattered the most. i wish that this had been addressed to me privately so i could’ve talked to her and heard her side of the story but i understand that she probably felt uncomfortable and unsafe given our past and who she used to associate me with. i do not and will not ever stand for racism, i’m working every single fucking day to learn and spread resources and educate myself and to not overstep my boundaries or talk over the black community because it’s NOT my place. i can’t speak for the other person mentioned in this post and i hope she comes forward if she feels inclined to and tell her side of the story but this is mine. holding myself accountable for being a part of the problem. 

i’m sorry if any of this upset anyone and if this means i’m going to lose friendships or mutuals over this. i understand and it’s fine. i’m not looking to victimize myself at all and i’m admitting to the fact that i was complacent and silent and i’m really sorry. i’m not like that anymore and i’m always one of the first people to call horrible shit out, probably too much because i spent so much time NOT saying anything out of fear. and if you read any of this, thank you? i don’t know what this is going to do but i hope it helps shed light on my side of the story. again, oksi, i’m really fucking sorry- you don’t have to forgive me at all and i don’t expect you to but i hope you’ll at least hear this out and try to understand i’ve changed and i actively try every single day to be better than i used to be. thank you and sorry again.

[perpetualxfire]

ooc - explaining my absence

 I’ve been putting a lot of focus lately on outside story-writing projects, mostly to maintain my sanity; I’ve expressed this a bit to some friends (one friend) but I’ve been a little leery spending too much time here for... Historical fandom reasons, I’ll say, and what happens in fandom this next season is probably going to determine a lot whether or not it’s time to finally shelve a blog that I’ve been running in some iteration or another for about eight years now, so... It’s kind of a big deal.

 (Pre-post Edit): Sorry, This post is going to jump around a lot, aha, sorry; it’s tkind of stream of consciousness and I just don’t have the emotional energy left after writing it to go back and try to make it more coherent. I promise if this weren’t bothering me so much I wouldn’t have said anything at all - I’m the kind of person who tends to keep a lot of these issues to myself.

 I don’t know if there’s anybody left here who particularly cares about the details, as I know I’m both apparently a very intimidating individual to contact and then very difficult to maintain a conversation with once you have (sorry;;; i’m just... not much for talking, aha) but honestly at the end of the day that only peripherally contributes. This isn’t a post meant to say “nobody cares about me and why am I here”, don’t get me wrong - I know that I’m difficult to communicate with and I’ve accepted that for eight years in this space now. The fact that it’s been dead as hell after S14 and the last three seasons in show... weren’t the miracle the series needed, tbh (they weren’t BAD they just weren’t FANTASTIC, you know?) certainly hasn’t helped.

 My issue goes back into the early days of S9 and S10 fandom - my character has always been an incredibly controversial character to people, and I love her very very deeply and am more than happy to express how various misconceptions are wrong - or... I was. But it gets exhausting to get hit with vitriol over and over and over all the time, and a lot of well respected members of fandom have developed some... Not great ways of coping with what I can only describe as trauma from having stayed attached to such a controversial character. Trauma might seem a stretch, but when just the thought of some of it makes me start getting aggressively defensive, I don’t really know what else to label it as.

 There were a few years - a sweet spot - where people were finally receiving the message, were finally realizing just how deep and well written C.arolin.a is; S13, after the disaster (for Carolina, at least) that was S12, was practically her golden age. All of the good, and bad, the learning, the depth of her character - all of it was perfect. For once, it felt like everybody was on the same page, and while I didn’t get a lot of blog activity (not nearly the activity I had back during S9-11) it was nice to feel like I didn’t have to defend my right to love my character.

 The issue is, however, that S17 opened a wormhole. Don’t get me wrong - I love Lina’s arc in the past three seasons, even if I hate the tone they’re setting and converting S9+10 into (it feels like they’re bastardizing some of the most complex story-telling in the series, but that’s just my take); I even love the concept of her labyrinth scene - she’s literally physically fighting her interpretation of the person she was in the past. But, you can ask my friends, I knew the Instant I watched that episode that the way they handled it was sloppy and was going to be bad for fandom, and I’ve only been proven right. We’ve seen a consistent uptick in exactly the kind of thought process that I was terrified of, and exactly the kind of process that I simply do not have the energy to engage with again.

 Sorry if I start to lose coherence, this is honestly a very very emotional thing to write about - I can’t express my love for my time with this character and community enough, and the idea that I might have to deal with every a very faint fraction of, a faint hint of the vitriol I dealt with back in the day again has me literally shaking, so I’ll try to be fast.

 I’ve seen, in increasing numbers, the idea that C.arolin.a now is a much better and more loveable character than C.arolin.a back then was. And, on a surface level, you aren’t wrong; she’s softer, and easier to process. But the idea that you can have the C.arolin.a now without the C.arolin.a then is literally painful to me. I’ve spent hours upon hours taking apart how she’s such a powerful feminine figure in a dominantly male show and community, and to this day I’m convinced that that’s why she’s hated on, even if the people doing it don’t realize. She’s a woman who’s allowed to make mistakes, who’s allowed to make bad decisions that affect others as the result of deep manipulation I’d like to add, and who’s allowed to feel remorse for them when she learns. She’s allowed to be a full person, to explore the full range of a powerful emotionality and the impacts thereof, and the entire time she honestly believes that she’s doing what’s best (and that’s a hill I will die to defend, but I can’t really get into that right now).

 But now that the vast majority of her story arc has reached resolution, the issue we’re running into now is in a couple of different parts - namely, the 100% villainization (i know, not a word) of her past self (we should note that that scene was her interpretation of her past self, but god knows the people looking to dunk on her can’t appreciate that subtlety) and then the hanging idea that C.arolin.a did nothing but use and abuse the people around her - an inherently false idea that she proposes that the narrative allows to leave hanging.

 And, as I’ve predicted, I’ve only seen the people who hate everything who made her who she is today explode in numbers, and I just do not have the emotional energy to cope with that. If I have to see one more person say that they love her now but didn’t during the project I might explode. For a very very long time I was patient with people who didn’t like her during the project, because, to be fair, the writing did her no favors there, either; two seasons that were supposed to focus on her story (words of RT themselves, not me) managed to frame her as an irrational and irredeemable bitch because RT chose to focus on the dude squad (TM) to a point that it was detrimental to C’s character. All the pieces you need to put her rational and thought processes are there, but most people don’t take the time to see them and put them together. I can’t blame people for that. That’s why I’ve been so patient.

 But I can’t do this anymore.

 I can’t.

 Every single time I see it I start to get defensive, realize that’s not helping, and just shut down. I no longer have the patience necessary to help people put together the puzzle pieces that RT did a shit job of providing. I can’t handle people talking about how C is OBJECTIVELY worse than Wash again (I’m not going to argue here, don’t FUCKING make me), I can’t handle people claiming C did shit just to push her authority, or because she couldn’t stand being one-upped, because that’s inherently untrue and I just want to grab the community as a whole and scream how can you not see this after all this time.

 I just.... I’m tired of hurting for something that used to bring me so much joy. There was a time I didn’t mind fending off the haters because I had a close community of friends who would gush with me, some of whom I even converted from hating on C’s character, who were only just realizing the complexity of not just C but of those two seasons and all of the dynamics wherein as a whole. I loved going over just how complex freelancer was, if you can find the pieces, I loved forging new narratives within it, and since all of the freelancers have left, I’ve mostly hung on, because while the avid community that I like to think I helped foster was gone, so was the hate.

 But now, even if in a lesser form, that old mentality is lurking again, and I literally cannot handle it. I just can’t.

 So... We’re going to sit back. And lurk. And wait. And see what this next season (and the potential RP Com. Boom that comes as a result) has in store. And if it’s as bad as I’m worried it might be... It’s time for me to leave. Because I can’t put this much energy and love into something just to have to explain my right to do so anymore. There are people who love much more controversial characters who are accepted far more than there are people who love Ag.ent C.arolin.a, and at the end of the day, I just... I can’t accept that anymore. I like to think that I contributed at least a decent amount to the RPC over the years. Maybe I’m overstating; maybe I’m just tooting my own horn.

 But maybe it’s time I moved on.

[spiritroth]

GUIDELINES.

- i only write with mutuals and am highly selective about who i follow. even if i write with you and it doesn't work out or i feel like our writing isn't super compatible, i might softblock or hardblock you. my main priority is having fun and focusing my time and efforts on writing partners that i feel will last. i also tend to block people if we don't end up writing any threads within a week or two of being mutuals. i usually reach out to people in DMs to get things started, but if for any reason i don't get around to it and you don't seem interested or like any starter calls, i'll just end up blocking. i'm here to write with all of my mutuals to some degree-- i don't collect followers on here.

- i’m more pressed about writing than formatting. i tend to be pretty simple with formatting, only using small and medium sized gifs. that being said, however you format doesn’t bother me as long as it’s relatively legible and you’re a good writing partner.

- as far as starting threads, i'm chill with starting through either a random starter or something lightly plotted (like taking something off my wishlist). i'm kind of shit at plotting in general and i'm a pantser, but i can accomodate if you're good at it. if i don't reach out to you in DMs within a few days of us becoming mutuals, feel free to message me so we can get started.

- there is a lot of smut and drug use on this blog. everything will be tagged usfw, but please do NOT follow if you're a minor or if you have any issue with smut. also see the trigger warnings below, above gabriel's bio. this character has a pretty fucked up backstory full of some graphic things, which won't ever be explored in detail but they will be brought up in passing as he works through trauma.

- i like to keep at least one active thread going with all of my mutuals. i tend to prefer to keep one thread per muse so we can build on something, but i get that sometimes muse dies and multiple threads happen from starter calls or memes.

- i do have discord but i'll only give it out to really close friends and writing partners. i'll probably end up giving it to you voluntarily if we ever get to that point where we're writing or talking a lot.

- FAVORITE/WANTED OPPOSITES: zendaya, danielle rose russell, kaylee bryant, victoria pedretti, emily alyn lind, hunter schafer, zoey deutch, diana silvers. i always love writing against these faceclaims and will probably go to them if they're available.

- BANNED OPPOSITES: honestly most male muses since as the mun i'm bisexual with a further leaning towards women (and i mostly write ships). also just in general rpc tends to prefer male muses and that only aggressively encourages me to love female muses.

ABOUT THE MUN & BLOG.

jess / 21+ years old / she/her pronouns / cdt timezone.

the psd i use on my edits and icons is wash yo hands by plutocommissions, which can be found here.

ABOUT GABRIEL.

trigger warning for mentions of physical and sexual abuse against a child.

faceclaim: dominic fike.

characteristics: withdrawn, selective about who he opens up to, quiet at first, sweet/kind, can be kinda cunty/bratty if he feels it's valid or deserved, actually murderous against abusers, neat and orderly, smart, altruistic and caring, not very into sex unless it's with someone he's interested in emotionally as well.

sexuality: demisexual & bisexual.

gender: cisgender male, he/him.

bio: gabriel roth was born to theodora and darren roth in new york city on august 24th. neither of his parents wanted or planned for a kid, and were so destitute that darren often used gabriel to make money and steal, giving him quotas to fulfill and beating him severely if they weren’t met.

he endured traumatic physical, emotional and sexual abuse from darren, and theodora only ever turned a blind eye, too afraid of darren to speak up. darren abused drugs and alcohol, which gabriel also got into at a young age in attempts to numb himself.

his sister celine was born when he was thirteen and theodora died of breast cancer only two years later, leaving her care mostly in the hands of fifteen year old gabriel.

he raised her the best he could, but it wasn’t long before the abuse he endured from darren was something celine also suffered from, and at that point he knew he had to do something. through school, child protective services were contacted and gabriel and celine were separated as they were put into foster care.

when he turned eighteen, aging out of the foster care system, he became homeless and had to find work on the streets, turning to prostitution to make and save money.

gabriel never reconnected with celine and instead went on to do sex work until he was able to afford living arrangements. struggling with addiction and PTSD from his fucked up childhood, he eventually snaps and kills one of his clients because the man revealed himself to be a child predator, which triggered gabriel to his own abuse when he was younger. the murder was covered up by a member of the local police department, who was able to find a missing child that was in the custody of the man after gabriel had killed him and turned himself in.

[ofhowls]

PSA – on myself !

hi, okay, i’ve had a good night’s sleep and in my dreams and the rest of the morning, i have reflected. and, i’m gonna be honest with all of you, my habit of giving my two cents when it isn’t needed is… stupid, to say the least. i would’ve liked to think i did more good than harm ( especially when it came to my whole slave rp crusade, which i’m realising might be the only thing of value i did for this community ) but that appears to definitely not be the case. i posted an apology for some things said about a year ago though i can’t find it now with my blogs gone. i’m also assuming it was a subpar post regardless. 

so, whether you like me or not, i still feel the need to apologise – so if you feel that some of the things i’ve said has had a negative affect on you or the community, then click below. 

i won’t bring up everything i’ve ever said because honestly, i can’t remember it all. but i will mention some things that have been mentioned last night.

i. tw pedophilia // i’m not good at words. i’m very bad at them, actually. i have a whole lot of trouble articulating my thoughts and usually, most of the time, it comes out completely wrong. i won’t defend my pov ( like i did last night ) because it is a topic i haven’t thought of in ages and an opinion i shouldn’t have stuck with without proper reconsideration. i’m always quick to defend myself, you know? but in this political climate and the way “ minor attracted people ” ( saying that with the most sarcastic of quotations ) are attempting to be apart of the lgbt community… my previous opinion on the matter is absolutely whack. sure, i think help should be offered by therapists and psychologists and all of the professionals in the world. but my previous point was maybe not crucify people with paraphilias in general areas such as tumblr and twitter and whatever. because it will keep them from getting the help needed, but most importantly, prevent any children getting hurt if they don’t. 

but that was wrong. like, completely. clearly, shaming and ridiculing and reporting is the only way to deal with those who see no wrong in their doings. my attention was always shifted towards that do and that was because of a documentary i watched sometime ago. it’s obvious the former, those who think their attraction is valid and healthy, make up the majority of these people. my point of view was skewed based on a singular source and that’s messed up. i realise now that those who know their attraction is wrong will seek help without me coddling them, and my posts would only encourage those who don’t, to be more open & proud about it. i apologise for it seeming that i was accepting pedophiles and their attraction into the community, because that was most definitely not my intention. i have no excuses for this and i will educate myself more, with recent and relevant information, before i ever try and speak on the matter again. especially on a public forum. 

ii. ableism tw // i was diagnosed with autism when i was about eighteen years old. that was very late. and up until that point, i was dealing with a tons of misinformation regarding the people on the spectrum and my own shock & confusion over the diagnosis given. and though that’s not an excuse, it’s also not the reason i said what i said. if you know me, at all, you’ll know that i’m very much obsessed with being an individual and getting a rise outta people. way more back then than now. but that’s who i am. i hopped onto a trend i deemed stupid and attacked it from every angle, not quite thinking of the implication behind the words that i said. 

i realise, later, that why i choose the autistic example might be because of my own issues with it. at the time. over the past two years, i’ve grown so much regarding my identity and i finally feel comfortable, and proud, in my own skin and with my autism. there used to be a time where i hid it and made comments on how ~ i was different ~ , somehow, and i can gladly say that’s not me anymore. i’m very sorry for what i said because i realise how hurtful that must’ve been to the rest of the community. me being autistic myself is no excuse and i know what kind of effect a commentary like that would have on others. especially those who were struggling with it like myself.

iii. every tw under the sun // i’m gonna be honest with y’all, once again my edginess came into play. my need to open my big fat mouth for no other reason other than i could. that post, especially given just how ignorant a lot of the community is on issues mentioned, myself included on some, is bad. it’s a bad take that is bad. and it’s quite possibly the stupidest thing i’ve ever written/read. i know so many writers who have refused to do research and me going up there and saying “ that’s okay, you can do what you want! ” … no. i still believe there’s freedom to write whatever you want, though – but to an extent. there’s a limit that shouldn’t be crossed and that’s the limit i attempted to bend in the post i made. at the time, i think, i felt entitled to have this opinion due to the minorities i’m myself included in. but that’s also a real bad take. i did see people’s point of views then but i think i failed to apologise once more. i’m bad at that, and it’s something i’m working on. 

anyways, to the topic at hand. we need to make people take more responsibility in this community and although i’m getting a whole bunch thrown at me at once, at the moment, i’m a bit grateful for it. i’ve realised thanks to these things being brought back up, that i didn’t apologise and i didn’t take responsibility – and i should’ve. i said things on a public platform that actively reassured people, who should not have been reassured, of their place in this community. racism, homophobia, TRANSPHOBIA, and pedophilia, are among the things that have no place here. i fought so much against the slave roleplays and their opinion on how ~ it’s writing, freedom of speech, and yadada ~ was WRONG. yet, i turned around and wrote a post like that? it was a bad, and hypocritical, take indeed. and one i thoroughly apologise for. 

vi. racism tw // once upon a time, i defended a friend’s roleplay without much knowledge other than ‘ it’s my friends, i have to ! ’ i have the lowest of iq’s, if you can’t tell. anyways. i think it was called siouxfalls, or something like that, and we found out that it was the name of a native tribe. i thought, personally as a white little bitch, that it was no big deal. who cared! ( lots of people, but i really only paid attention to the anons i got… which was… stupid ) and thus, i went out of my way to defend a friend of mine. i didn’t read the plot, i barely looked at the roleplay. i involved myself in a situation i had no clue about, and took it from there. i used a large following and a huge amount of traffic on my blog, to shit on people with genuine concern. there’s no excuse for that! i kept this up for hours, and anons swarmed to my inbox to poke fun at it, too. and i thought, hey, if anons are cool with it – that must mean i’m in the right. i wasn’t. 

there came a time where the other admin of the roleplay, the one i hardly knew, leapt to their roleplay’s defence. in their, very, long post about the matter – they mentioned that, hey, we aren’t forgetting about natives! in fact! there’s gonna be a plot drop about all of those slaughtered there! and that… was yikes. i backed out of the conversation when that happened. and that also a bad decision! i should’ve stuck around, spoken to this person i actually had access to – and 1. realised my own wrongdoings for the night, and 2. used the audience i had to correct myself and draw attention to an even bigger issue. i didn’t. i let it go, hoping no one would remember. i was in a shitty position of allowing racist subtext into the community and diminishing the concern of people of color, and i sincerely apologise. i was a 15 minute of fame whore and i didn’t bother with the feelings of others. i was, in all honesty, a garbage person. and i take full responsibility for that. 

v. no tw because this is more of a general statement // i am sure there are more specific things that i’ve done and that i’ve said, but with the sheer amount of garbage that came out of my mouth, i have trouble recalling anything significant. i would gladly accept receipts and reminders from everyone and anyone. i’m not asking you to coddle me, but i really do wish you’d help me take some responsibility. memory like a goldfish and like 5k posts of bullshit just don’t add up. anyways. since my latest ‘ jayden said something fucking stupid ’ discourse was about a year ago, i feel like i have grown. tumblr, for me, was a very bad place to be in many ways. i’m not saying the community is toxic but it was to me. i like attention and i like getting asks and i like putting my two cents out there. it created a whole bunch of issues and it gave me a bigger platform than i should’ve had. with my absence, which i’m also a bit grateful for, i spent more time on other social medias and i learned more about issues i never even began reading about on here. 

i’m not saying i’m the brightest now, either, but i’m definitely smarter. i didn’t come back to the rpc, with the exception of one or two posts, because i don’t feel like i should have an audience to barely formed opinions. and i’m not apologising now because it was all brought up but because it being brought up reminded me of damage i’d caused. i’d be an idiot to think it should be swept under the rug, because it shouldn’t! if it weren’t from the backslash of the rpc, i never would’ve second-guessed my opinions and reevaluated them, and that’s extremely important. it’s important to hold people accountable and it’s important to make sure apologies are made. i’m not asking for anyone to forgive me, because let’s be real, this was long overdue. though, i hope this has made it clear that my opinions aren’t the same as they once were and i genuinely am apologetic for damage done.

i don’t know if any of this was remotely coherent, but i hope it was? the anon feature is back on, and hopefully instead of racist commentary, it can be used for things more constructive. once again, no need to hold my hand, but if you feel like i’ve missed out on anything that should be addressed �� please let me know! like i’m not the same dimwit i was a year ago. that’d be too freaking sad. anyways, once again, i apologise for what i’ve said and many lessons have been learned. believe me. 

[pvrkchanyeol]

name/alias:

hello cutie pies ( or uglies if you’re like me ) i’m kellen but you can call me whatever you like tbh !! i’m particularly fond of fam though and please don’t call me kelly or i’ll choke bc i hate that nickname the same way i hate any form of physical activity because i’m the absolute worst and laziest person y’all EVER meet. 

age/pronouns:

i’m twenty ( but i have the sleeping schedule of an eighty year old bc i’m ALWAYS taking naps ) and go by she/her pronouns !!

timezone:

i’m from sydney meaning that i’ll be the online while everyone’s usually asleep tbh !! it’s either aest or aedt i never know bc of daylight savings so if you guys need someone to rp at weird hours hit your girl up !!

personal or rpc blog:

i should post this on my character account but y’all know i’m trash and haven’t even set one up yet sdbhjfbhjdfshdfsfds but my personal/rpt/rph ( idk what to define it bc i’m the worst rph but i don’t want to be considered a rpt bc that gives me shivers ) is @cindykimbvrly​ which is where i’m posting this at !! you guys should come and say hi !!

SINCE THIS IS LONG THE REST IS GOING TO BE PUT UNDER READ MORE !!

who are your top five skeletons or the ones your most excited to see around ??

someone expose shan for putting this question in wtf how am i meant to answer this ?? i’ve written them all and i literally, love them all with all of my heart so i can’t choose ?? but i def have a soft spot for the DERELICT, the VENEREAL, the ACEBRIC and the IRATE but honestly i love each and every skeleton and can’t wait to see everyone doing them complete justice.

what face claim are you applying for ?? any second choice or alternative faces ??

i’m not applying but i’ll be playing the lovely yves venero the VIRULENT of the bunch and i’m so freaken excited to because i’ve never played a non binary before and know it’s going to be a lot of fun !!

who are your favourite face claims to play ??

i literally am not fussed about face claims because in all honesty it’s all about #chemistry and i feel like muses are best portrayed when a mun decides a face that they genuinely love and can envision as their muse rather than doing what the popular choice is ?? i genuinely hope y’all cast who you want to play rather than the face claims we want to see. though to give you some inspo my favourite face claims include: ariana grande, asami zdrenka, barbara palvin, barbie ferrerira, bob morley, chantel jeffries, chloe bennet, chloe kitembo, chou tzuyu, chris wood, cindy mello, daniel sharman, danielle campbell, david dobrik, dove cameron, eiza gonzalez, emilia clarke, francisco lachowski, froy gutierrez,  harry shum jr, herman tømmeraas, iman meskini, isabella gomez,jasmine tookes, j jennie kim, jessica vu, jordan fisher, kelsey calemine, kim chungha, lais ribeiro, laura harrier, lauren jauregui, lee chaerin, lily collins, liu yifei, logan lerman, matthew daddario, naomi scott, naressa valdez, nisrina sbia, normani kordei,  min yoongi, romee strijd, phoebe tonkin, rami malek, ross butler, sam claflin, santiago segura, stefanie scott, thalia crawford, tom holland, tom maden, tyler posey, val mercado xavier serrano and zendaya coleman. that was hella long and i promise that list was shortened dsfjbfsdbhjfsdhbjdfs but yeah, on the topic of fave faces i hope you guys love the ones we’ve chosen for the skeletons but of course feel free to IM us or the main if you want to change them !! 

do you like memes ?? which one describes you the most ??

if anyone answers no to this i don’t trust you and refuse to consider your application ( that’s a joke btw please don’t go around making psas about me ) but memes are honestly... life ?? i’d never date anyone who didn’t laugh at my memes tbh but i’ll give y’all two for the price of one since chosing one is like choosing my favourite child ( aka we all have one but we gotta be fair on all of them ) and i feel like both of these describe yves pretty accurately so !!

if you could describe your character in six words what words would you use ??

cold. contradictory. callous. cryptic. cautious. cynical. why did i chose for them all to be the letter c ?? i’ve been asking myself that exact question for the last hour tbh...

which tv character do you relate to the most ??

okay so listen i literally... fucking hate tv shows and movies ?? like... i genuinely really want to sleep with you or like you if i agree to go on a date with you to the movies or something fsdjfdshjbdfshjfds but with my limited knowledge of shows i’d say i’m probably jay pritchett from modern family ?? bc same.

coca cola, pepsi, or dr pepper ??

i’ve actually never tried dr pepper before ?? but idk anyone that likes pepsi more than coke tbh and rum and coke has been my thing lately so i’d vote coke !!

what about valence are you most excited for ??

listen the entire thing ?? i’m excited to see how people play out the connections we’ve made as well as to see the cool connections that y’all come up with and i’m just... so excited to see how people will interpret the skeletons themselves and make them their own since i’d love to see interpretations a lot different to how we’ve seen them being !!

who do you think killed wren ??

tbh i don’t even know which is probably a bad sign ?? i don’t think isaiah or dakota did it tbh, perhaps gabe for some reason ?? will anyone ever find out ?? probably not.

any questions or comments or criticisms ?? ( or even a joke tbh we would love a laugh so surprise us, maybe a cute puppy pic ?? )

i’ll leave you guys with the biggest joke you’ve ever heard: my life. but on a serious note i’ll just to thank anyone who’s actually taking the time in reading this and particularly anyone who’s thinking of applying because it means the absolute world ?? i know shan, ricki and myself have put our souls into this group and just want you guys to love it as much as we do !! anyone with criticisms please do hit me up and a massive thank you to shan and julie they’ve put up with my bs and done such an amazing job with the graphics and aesthetics because we all know that you guys couldn’t even give this rp a second thought if it weren’t for them !!

[macgyvrs]

( the struggle when i made this days ago yet i still wonder why i haven’t gotten any i/ms yhet... *sighsz* ) what it do peeps ! i’m l. i’m a 21 yr old foodie from the est timezone who loves laughin’, watchin’ movies, sleepin’, and ofc food ! i’ve been in the rpc for a few good years now but i’ve never done 1x1 before. i’ve always seen tons of people talkin’ bout it in the tags but never really knew what it was about. since i’m currently an english major whose transferin’ to be a journalism major, i’d love any chance i can get to improve/hone my writin’ skills. if anythin’ below strikes your fancy don’t hesitate to hmu ! p.s: for the moment, i’m still kinda iffy with headcannons and such since i don’t watch like any shows that are runnin’ aside from macgyver and the flash bc coincidentally i’m behind on both... i’ve actually caught up with macgyver and i’m mad i did bc i love lucas till sm rn (but please let me know if i got anythin’ wrong in the ‘ships i’d like to play’ section.. i’ll love you a dozen)

● you can find all my muses here. their musings here here and here. click on the lil pencil to read their bio and stats. really excited to play these muses because some of them are new and some of them haven’t been played in a moment or haven’t been played to its full potential-- so you can see my excitement ! some of these muses i have used before in rps so you may have seen em... or ya have not. either or that’s get crackin ! also i have to add that since some of these muses are new they may need some adjustin’/tweakin. if you have any questions regardin’ on my muses or would just like more info on ‘em please don’t hesitate to message me !

fcs i’d like to play against (there currently aren’t any most wanteds bein’ that i’d like to play against all of these suggests fcs below at any given point):

● shelley henning

● robbie amell

● chris wood

● tessa thompson

● danielle campbell

● nate buzolic

● chris zylka

● jessica parker kennedy

● matthew daddario

● sophia bush

● virginia gardner

● sebastian stan

● alex pettyfer

● cody christian

● taron egerton

● matt barr

● max theiriot

● nico tortorella

● claire holt

● dylan o’brien

● grant gustin

● nathalie kelley

● freddie stroma

● tristin mays

● lucas till

● avan jogia

● aisha dee

● camille guaty

● bianca a. santos

● kylie bunbury

● (really need some more male fc(s) for my jenna dewan-tatum muse SO pls rec some !)

● candice patton

ships i’d like (bold is the chara i’d play):

● faye chamberlain/diana meade (the secret circle)

● veronica mars/logan echolls (veronica mars)

● katrina straford/bianca stratford (10 things i hate about you)

● marti perkins/savannah monroe (marti’s my badass kween but ava’s too much like savannah) (hellcats)

● more to come when i watch some shows/movies !

plots i’d like:

● pls give me somethin’ based on 10 things i hate about you bc classic !!1

●  gimme gimme some sixteen candles or pretty in pink pls !

● ok but someone give me that cute bartender storyline though? like this guy tends bar at a restaurant or a pub or something and always sees this cute girl hanging out there, but she’s always either with friends or with some guy so he never really gets the time to talk to her BUT ONE DAY she walks into the place alone and orders so many drinks until she’s so bloody drunk, screaming about how her boyfriend cheated on her, that the bartender had to bring her home himself. she wakes up with a horrible hangover, stumbles out the room to find the bartender cooking breakfast and rolling his eyes, laughing. “first of all, you’re an idiot. second, we didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re wondering. third, breakfast will be ready soon. sit.” and fluff commences HELP PLZ ( x )

● i’ll take that platonic ship where muse a and muse b come from different worlds and hang out a lot bc both of them fit comfort in the other. muse b’s pretty much comfortable with spillin’ their guts on a silver platter while muse a just quietly sits back and listens-- offerin’ advice in the process bc it’s the nonjudgmental breakfast club. however, one day, out of the blue, muse a has declined all of muse b’s calls, sendin’ them to voicemail. in a panic, muse b rushes over to muse a’s apartment (w/ food in hand bc they know how much of a foodie muse a is). “you weren’t answerin’ my calls, so i just wanted to see if you were ohkay.” and muse a’s eyes are hella puffy w/ makeup smeared all over and all she can do is smile. pLS stop ME !

● i just wanna play this plot again (dear lordty) i need this f/m plot in my life one more time. muse a was brought up in a religious house hold. all her life, she’s had to abide by her strict parents rules, and the regulations of the bible. bein’ that she grew up in a very judgmental and secure environment, she never had a social life because everything that didn’t involve god was considered worldly, which her parents (mainly her mother) never approved of. seven days a week, 2-4 hours a night, church was her life. after high school she did the whole college thing; attendin’ a religious based alta mater to please her parents. yet, she wasn’t satisfied with her life as it was. one day, she had an epiphany, to live her life for herself instead of livin’ it for others. eger to want to complete that change, muse a moves to a smol lil town in hopes of resettin’ the last year of her life. to make endsmeat, she gets a job as a waitress at the towns local cafe. muse b is a campaign manager (or does something in politics) and always orders food from the cafe where muse a works. whenever muse a delivers muse b’s order, they have an interestingly awkward conversation (seein’ as how they’re two people who’d never in a million years interact with each other) until they meet again. everything is peachy keen until muse a jokingly agrees to volunteer in this event muse b’s office is organizing. a few hours into the event (think of like nature or somethin’ involvin’ outdoor/physical activities) something happens to muse b that causes muse a to kiss muse b out of an abrupt fear for their life. and bam ! everything’s awko taco now because it’s like ‘we kissed. but you still annoy the shit out of me with your cocky, egotistic attitude yet at the same time i love how easily it is to talk to you and how you can make me laugh” and someone pls come and take my computer away from me ! ( x )

● any set plots for any of the muses could be great as well !

● pls hit me with a macgyver-esq plot. i’ve been hella obsessed with my mans lucas till lately that i need a plot that doesn’t just occur in my head. muse a is a secret agent workin’ at a foundation that’s cover is a think tank. muse b is muse a’s significant other (possibly workin’ at said job as a secretary or somefing). due to the capacity of muse a’s job, muse b rarely sees them since they’re always gone for days at a time. just gimme me the ‘i just miss havin’ you around.’ ‘i love you so much’. gimme me da fluff !

● i wanted to say something else but i forgot so i’m outie !

[kilieit]

My £2 on alternative RP communities and the best way to go about making one

Originally posted on the RPC, here.

My summarised opinion/advice to people who want to create a Balmung alternative: I really, really want to see you guys succeed in creating a valid alternative... but I really fear it's not possible to achieve that with single-leader communities. Single-leader communities are great. While they last. But there's no longevity there. You need to consolidate into a multi-leader playerbase if you're going to create something sustainable, that will survive in the long term, and provide a genuine alternative to Balmung. Contact leaders of other alternative communities, pool your efforts on one server, and go on from there.

Full Post:

I come from a small pop RP server in WoW. I played there for almost 10 years, and roleplayed there for over 8. Here's my 2p (more like £2... oops) on the challenges you need to be addressing and the things you need to consider moving forward if you (any of you) want to make a genuine, valid alternative community to Balmung.

Here is the shape I've seen small communities take. At the beginning, everyone is really excited about the opportunity to have a fresh start. There's a boom in RP guilds, events, and community get-togethers, there's some method of communication established like a chat channel or a forum or both. People usually think this is the hard part, because it takes a lot of effort and promotion and logging in every day and it is hard, no doubt about it. But by comparison, it is the easy part. The hard part comes a year later.

By this stage, the original person or people (usually a group of 5 people or less) who began the community have begun to burn out. When someone burns out, what happens is they pull back their operations and start mostly doing their in-game stuff, or their personal RP plots, or just stop logging in as much. And the thing is... there's nothing bad about this! It's a healthy, good reaction to burn-out. Pushing through burn-out without heed to your own mental limits is a recipe for shitty events and shitty relations, because you start to resent the hobby, and inevitably lash out at the people related to it. So pulling back and doing something else for a bit is absolutely the right answer. But here's what you need to recall. Who is going to provide roleplay for people in your stead when that happens?

Here's my key point: roleplay communities under a certain size are NOT SUSTAINABLE. Let's say you're the singular leader of the entire RP community on a given server. You will reach burn-out. Maybe this year, maybe next year, maybe next month. It's going to happen. What next? If your answer to "who is going to provide RP" is "one of my friends who's been helping me so far", that is not adequate. Your friend's probably been working just as hard as you! Maybe even harder, depending on the systems you're using and how easy they make it for non-leaders to do stuff like set calendar events. There's only so many friends in a friend group - and if you go through all of them without the first guy feeling like he wants to come back, then you're screwed. If your answer is "I don't know but I'm sure someone will step forward", I have a little spoiler for you: no one is going to take over. That won't happen. Sorry. This is my experience: during their leisure time, people naturally gravitate towards either leader or follower roles, because they will have a preference (either conscious or subconscious) for which one they enjoy performing more. If no one has made themself apparent as enjoying the leader role so far, it's a vanishingly small chance that they're suddenly going to leap forward and take it up. So, then... things fizzle out... or people start getting upset that there's "no roleplay any more", and turn on each other in blame.

What you need is another group who's been running RP separately but concurrently to you. Let's take three Balmung events I attend regularly, and which I know have no overlap in leadership: Matron's Reach on Mondays, Stellazio Pizzaria on Wednesdays, and Fight Club on Thursdays. What happens if the leader of, say, Matron's Reach burns out and doesn't want to lead it any more, and nobody steps forward? Then I suppose that event would stop running. But what happens to Stellazio Pizzaria and Thursday Fight Club? Absolutely nothing. And if someone wants healer-based RP after that? Then there are three free companies I can think of off the top of my head that could scratch that itch, also not dependent on the Matron's Reach in any fashion whatsoever. Because these RP outlets are concurrent and separate, the overall community is stable. One person dropping out won't kill the whole community, no matter who it is.

That is the thing you need to strive for, even in a small server. If one person or FC stops operating, the overall community needs to have the stability and breadth to continue without them (maybe in a different fashion, but still to continue). Because if it doesn't, then this starts happening:

foxfirestorm Wrote: Mateus has a great deal of potential to become something AMAZING. We do have an active community here, but as of recent times (and why I went on my vacation), we have an issue where this... Large group of individuals (Not going to say names) are very entwined into their own little spot and due to the small nature of the RP community right now, this is effecting those that are not in this circle. As the one in charge, I voice time and time again that my officers need to do more world RP and actually go out and do things, however, they seem very convinced to remain in that circle and some of my own officers have been pulled into this little group-- which makes matters WORSE.

I'm not trying to single you out. I'm using this quote because it is so accurate to what happened to my server's community, in another realm, on another game, 5+ years ago. My guild was in the position "your guild" is in. We were the pillar upon which the rest of the community depended to initiate RP. Then our leader burned out, and took a break from big RP events. His inner circle closed ranks around him... excluding most of the members of his actual guild, including me, despite the fact that I was far and away the second-most active in organising things next to him. That's the familiar part - the part that sounds like it's happening to you. Here's the rest of my cautionary tale about the original community on my small server.

The rest of the community turned to our entire guild, even though it was just the one guy who'd pulled back (and we had as little idea about why as they did!), and started to demand why we weren't making RP events any more? Had we abandoned them? Did we think we were too good for them?

And of course it was none of these things. But even though there were a good 100+ people in the community, the fact that none of them were running independent, concurrent things meant people got angry at us for "making him quit" and "taking away their RP". People started to reroll or transfer, and those that didn't grew bitter. Even though it was just our leader that had burned out and I was still running RP events for people just like he had, on a similar schedule, with a similar quality, they were received with nothing but hostility. People either didn't see the point in putting their faith in someone who wasn't our leader, or they were too upset about our leader "abandoning" everyone to trust anyone with the same guild tag, or they were just apathetic in general and about to drift off to a PvE server. Eventually, I stopped trying. No one wants to put their heart and soul into something only to be called names because they have the wrong nametag above their head.

A few guilds tried to step up and fill the void. The problem was they were all either underestimating how hard it was to actually coordinate a "community-wide" event, or they were too consumed with anger over what had happened before to really make much good out of it (too focussed on trying to copy or be "different from" before, rather than just focussing on doing something that was good). I can think of three who tried, and two fell to in-fighting and either completely rebranded, disbanded, or both... the third's leader was perma-banned over something unrelated, and the guild fell apart shortly after. Our leader finally quit completely, I assumed his mantle on a formal basis rather than the de-facto one I'd been in before, and we actually changed our guild tag last year because years later, people were still blaming my members for the "death" of the original community. All because one guy had made a fixture of himself and then quit.

You'll notice I said "original", so here's the thing. I have word from my friends that the community is actually doing fine these days, although I'm not part of it any more (so I can't personally verify). What changed? Server merges. It was merged with two other RP servers, and although there were initial hiccoughs of people being territorial, these days it's stabilised into a much more sustainable, larger community. People were introduced from a friendlier neighbour-server, and diluted the bitterness in the community. If one guy doesn't like you, it's no longer the end of the world. And if one guy quits, there are a half-dozen others you can seek RP from instead.

Here is what I think y'all need to do if you seriously, actually want to make a solid alternative to Balmung.

Pick one server and pool your efforts. Work together with other people who are currently running small alternative RP communities to bring your efforts together in one place. It seems like there are a good handful of you guys, all with 20-100 people each, who all had the initial thought of "why don't we go somewhere other than Balmung? I'll just pick any low-pop server/the server I initially happened to roll on". If you seriously want to make a valid, serious, stable alternative, then I think you need to start bringing yourselves together with one another. Set aside your pride, stump up the cash to move if you must, and create one, unified RP community on an otherwise low-population server. Do your own thing there! You don't necessarily need to be in communication and coordination with everyone on that server, so place the logistical fears out of your mind - in fact, if there's so many people that you can't, that's a healthy sign that you're on your way to sustainability. Just do it all in the same place so people know where to go.

That way, new players aren't looking at entering one of a number of single FCs or small clusters of FCs where if they don't like the OOC culture, or the stance on lore, the genre of RP, or one of the people there just plain ol' dislikes them, they have to move or reroll again. There should be a choice within a single World, both in terms of what content is on offer and what people are offering it. That would be forming the basis of a genuine Balmung alternative, where people who would otherwise have moved to Balmung will actually want to go.