#the last one is from the discovery collab

[calmbigdipper]

So many Kavehs — which one is your favorite?

[coquelicoq]

Hello! I just saw you post some Maitre Gims, and I know you like Stromae, so I was wondering what are french/french speaking singers that you like the most? You may have answered smtg like that already but i couldn't find it and I am, as always, very curious ^^ -☆

mc solaar!!!!!! and stromae for sure. and i had a whole renan luce phase in college. otherwise i mostly just listen to individual songs and don't tend to know a ton by the same artist, but i've liked some individual songs by christine and the queens, lous and the yakuza, tryo, kana, bénabar, vianney. some other artists but that's a sample. currently only know two french-language songs by mika but i like them. always looking for recs if you have any!

[canmom]

nooooo stop writing sexy letters i'm trying to beat you at chrononauts

as mentioned a little earlier, today I read This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone...!

Before we dive into the spoilers, a brief word about what this book is...

TIHYLTW is a semi-epistolary novel about time travellers Red and Blue and, essentially, their enemies-to-lovers romance as they play spy games across the broad, branching timeline, acting respectively on behalf of the ultra-high-tech 'Agency' and the biopunk 'Garden'. Each chapter consists of a brief vignette depicting one or the other at their work, ending with the discovery of a letter (in some abstract, poetic form like a dead fish) from their counterpart, followed by the contents of that letter.

A lot of the structure of this book is explained by the knowledge that this was written as a kind of chain-writing project: El-Mohtar and Gladstone hashed out the broad premise but then alternated writing the chapters, with Gladstone taking on the role of Red and El-Mohtar as Blue. Each would respond to the other's letter and advance the story a little bit. In essence, then, this is also something like a play-by-post roleplaying game. I have played both chain-writing games and play-by-post roleplaying so this all ends up feeling quite familiar.

What's remarkable, given that approach, is that this book manages to maintain a generally consistent voice and clear narrative progression. But knowing how it's written still gives you some insight, because you can read it in the light of improv comedy. For example, when Red describes Blue's world, so far undefined, as 'viney-hivey elfworlds', this is what in improv terms we call an offer: you define something and hand it off to the other person to iterate or play on it somehow. In this case, El-Mohtar has Blue gently rebuff this as 'full of silly stereotypes' and ask for a more genuine reply about her own life (this is early in the romance, where they are expressing mutual curiosity which also serves as exposition); Gladstone can oblige and give us Red's backstory.

In some cases, the fingerprint of chainwriting is very obvious. One chapter has Blue sign off 'see you in London next' - Gladstone responds to this by setting the next chapter in an alternate-world city called 'London Next', 'the kind of London other Londons dream'. This wordplay, reinterpreting the last entry in an unexpected light, is such a blatant chainwriting move.

Two writers who vibe, with a back-and-forth, is probably about the ideal scale for this kind of game. At university I played chain-writing games in a large group, where each player got to contribute only one section to the story; this too often became a 'too many cooks' situation, whose pacing would suffer from the lack of larger structure. As a player in that kind of game, you'd have to balance leaving your own fingerprint by adding elements to the story, and advancing what had already been written (I very much tended to the former). Too often it would fall to the last person in the chain to try and hastily tie the story up in some sort of resolution.

Play-by-post roleplaying games don't have that 'one entry per player' limit, but the problems of time zones/availability and the general principle to not 'godmod' meant that often the game would either die pretty quickly or turn into a situation where each person was essentially writing their own story in isolation, with minimal interaction with others. Which can be fun: a collection of web serials on a theme is a perfectly valid writing project. But it's not really a collab in this way.

A project limited to just two writers, on the other hand, can build up a rhythm, and this is what happens here. A lot of the charm of this novel is the playfulness of the back and forth, not just in the letters themselves, but also in the settings introduced and gradual expansion and iteration of the concepts. This feels like it would be a tremendously fun game to play (ehem).

Now, let's apply the Spoiler Zip, and talk about some details.

So this is essentially a spy story; it is a story of the two characters, both prodigy agents, mutually defecting from the Time War to elope together. Though there's plenty of drama when they get found out, death fakeouts, a kind of classic gay personality synthesis...

Most of the chapters end with a 'Seeker' appearing to swallow up the remnants of the letter that has been read. With 'hunger' becoming a symbol of the relationship in the letters, and the time travel theme, I guessed that this character would somehow represent a synthesis of the two characters retracing their relationship. Well, almost!

Broadly, the dénouement is: Blue strikes a (rather vaguely defined) decisive move in the Time War, but Red's superiors figure out some of the situation and set her up to entrap Blue; Red appears to have killed her (with a letter naturally), but she goes rogue and attempts to assimilate enough of Blue's being (through the letters) to enter the Garden and innoculate her against the poison at birth, thus allowing Blue to turn out to be alive and save Red from space prison. So it's not quite another 2010s SFF story in which a lesbian carries the ghost of her dead girlfriend in her head but... it sorta is, innit.

As might be evident from that paragraph, the time travel model in this story is definitely of the 'timey-wimey' variety. It's not really about that; the logic is much more poetic than it is, well, logical. Characters move very freely 'upthread' (towards the distant past) and 'downthread' (towards the scifi future). Their adventures tend to take them to fairly recognisable bits of history, with a reasonable sprinkling of mythology.

What they're actually doing in these places is broadly speaking similar to the card game Chrononauts if you've ever played that, attempting to shape the futures by changing the past, but generally speaking in subtle ways - we're given various examples of saving crucial people from disasters, inspiring inventions, and so on. Of course, they must have a reason for this subtle approach: in this case, 'chaos' is anathema to both sides.

Our characters, as superspies constantly assuming different identities and assassinating people and all sorts of other things, are pretty disconnected from the people whose lives they mess with - something that becomes more explicit later, with the remark that the work involves, often, killing and saving the same people in different timelines. As such, there are few particularly well-defined characters in the story besides Red and Blue - the only real exception being Red's scary, nameless Commandant. Now and then we'll get the allusion to a historical figure, such as Genghis Khan, but only rarely. These bitches have eyes only for each other. Their interactions are frequently compared to a game (mostly go, sometimes a little chess), and the places they pass through are relevant largely insofar as they constitute moves in the game.

This is where I think the comparison to Italo Calvino that I made earlier breaks down. Here, the setting is in large part colour: material for the playful romantic interactions of our two spies. There are definitely some imaginative setpieces - I liked the computer cult of Hack, and the prehistoric valley of bones - but in contrast to Invisible Cities where the relationship between Marco Polo and Kublai Khan is a frame story and the vignettes about cities are the main focus, here the balance is opposite.

On that front of setting, I think I found the factions themselves a little insubstantial. Of course, the point of the novel is in large part that their differences are generally superficial and should be transcended - but beyond that their natures are fundamentally opposed, we never get a huge sense of why the Agency and Garden are battling over the timelines. One is plant themed, the other is robot themed. One plays the long game, the other likes finesse. But both Blue and Red are in some major way alienated from their society - indeed, Red even suggests this is the major qualification for becoming a time agent in her society. They fight the Time War because... they were constructed to do it, because it's a relief from existential despair, and later, because it's sexy to fight a Time War with someone?

If interpreted as an enemies to lovers arc, well, it's not really that. More of a strangers to lovers arc; there is little to not antagonism outside of the occasional bravado about who will win the game. They're really the ultimate u-haul lesbians. But perhaps that's putting a foreign frame on it. 'Courtship through scifi strategy duel leading to transformation through synthesis' is literally a premise I wrote too, I can't possibly complain about it!

I refuse to add another 'lyrical' to the pile, but I can't deny the craft on display here. Still, sometimes the allusions feel a bit too 'local' to my time and place to belong to truly alien beings. Sometimes this is lampshaded - for example, in the first letter from Blue, Ozymandias is quoted, but immediately described as an 'overanthologised work of the early Strand 6 nineteenth century'. That sets up a callback later in one of Red's letter. Another time, Blue recommends Red a fantasy novel written in the 50s, remarking that it is (somehow) the same in every timeline it appears. It's tricky to know how to call this - if the allusions were made up or too obscure, you'd lose the playful way in which they are invoked, yet having a strange transhuman future creature throw out references that feel like they belong to a 20th century university student feels like it familiarises a little too much.

Some of the wordplay also feels... how to put this. The example I'm thinking of is that the characters start riffing on a 19th century etiquette book to help Red get the hang of letter-writing, and this makes reference to a scented seal (wax thing that is used to close an envelope). So Red embeds her next letter inside a seal (marine mammal). My natural assumption is that the characters are speaking $mysterious_future_language, but this kind of pun makes it impossible to read them as speaking anything other than English, right?

But that's the tone of this novel. It's constantly teasing. The Utena influence (I'm told Gladstone is a fan) is certainly strong.

There is something, too, to the way that Red's arc is to step away from the cyborg state where all her inconvenient organs and biological needs can be shut off, and expose herself to what we could call more human experiences - hunger, crying. This is clearly deliberate and rich in metaphorical valence (she is becoming more akin to Blue, and more distant from her utilitarian origin), but she's also coming towards us. This isn't a flaw in the novel, but more a limitation of the medium: we can only see through our own experiences, and thus to write a comprehensible emotional arc for an alien being, we must build our own 'bridges' (to use the novel's metaphor, see what I did there you fuckers) to their experience, and make them more human...

Taken as a spy story, I think the issue is perhaps that the characters are too important. Far from cogs in a vast, grinding geopolitical machine, it feels like Red and Blue are the most important people in all the universes, the only players that matter on either side. Their courtship is inevitable - they just don't need all these other chumps, who can't see how sexy it is to write emotional letters to your rival spy. Everyone else is basically an NPC.

As much as I rib it though, this was basically the perfect train book, and made that five hour journey pass in a breeze. I don't know that I'd really put it on Calvino tier, but I'd still definitely recommend giving it a read, it's a good playful book about lesbians doing a hilariously overcomplicated courtship and what's not to love about that.

As a final addendum - I've been gently reminded that El-Mohtar is 'the prototypical bi woman married to a man who goes to great pains to constantly remind everyone she's not straight', which, you know, fair enough lmao. If my bi granny hadn't married a guy (eight years her senior, no it did not go well), then I wouldn't exist! I just think it's kind of funny.

(and ftr? I don't actually give a shit whether the people who write a book belong to the 'right' identity category. On the contrary, I think everyone should write a gay romance at least once, it's good for the soul, maybe you'll realise you like it more than you thought you would, eh~)

[ryukenzz]

Fear's Favorite Test Subject

♱☠︎.𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙: Headcanons of the Fear and his most prized possession. These headcanons will be about As Nodt as a yandere mad scientist with a female reader in mind.

♱☠︎.𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: There will be content that'll include human experimentation, yandere themes, manipulation, gore (subtle flesh picking, needles, drugs, etc.), As Nodt being a warning himself, mad scientist themes. If any of these topics are triggering for you, I would suggest not reading this for your own comfort. If I missed any other warnings, please don't hesitate to let me know!

♱☠︎.𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1.3k

♱☠︎.𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: This is for @nagumoan's Dance with the Dead collab. This is also my first time writing yandere, so I hope this is good jdskf. I gave As Nodt a backstory of him as a neurologist that went into being a neuroscientist. I tried my best with the research I did for these careers, so I apologize if I got any facts wrong 😭.

The Neurologist and His Patient

As Nodt. Oh boy. The very embodiment of fear itself. This quiet man would be formidable as a mad scientist. He is no Mayuri or Szayel, but he is a madman in his own right. His knowledge on the nervous system and negative human emotion makes him one of the worst, if not THE worst mad scientist to come across. And when you add “yandere” to that status? It’s essentially game over for anyone who intrigues him.

A long time ago, As Nodt was a renowned neurologist. He barely spoke to anyone, always preferring to keep to himself and just do the job. To him, the idle chit chat was distracting and unnecessary while attending to his patients. He was a firm believer of interruptions being a hindrance to his work. He barely even spoke to his own colleagues. It all became a daily routine, over and over. Every day was silent. Every single hour became dull. That is until he made an unintentional discovery while looking over a recording of a patient's video EEG test session. Your EEG test session.

His dark eyes were trained on the recording, reviewing your results. The tapping of his pen against his clipboard matched the tempo of the machine in the video. His interest was intrigued by the amount of activity your brain displayed. Your reactions to the variety of clips being shown was brilliant. But, what really had his sights set on you was your fearful reactions. The way your beautiful face contorted whenever a killing scene appeared sparked an unfamiliar feeling. It didn’t sit right with him, but… it piqued his twisted curiosity. How much fear can the brain take before it breaks? How long does it last? He wanted to explore the possibilities. He needed to find the answers. And these thoughts began to chip away at As Nodt’s curiosity… all until it descended into something twisted and deranged.

It seems that dual graduate program will be useful to him, after all.

From that day on, As Nodt began to keep tabs on you. Your appointments, the days and times where you came and picked up your medicine, all of it. He even made arrangements to make sure that you went to him and him only. You didn’t think much of it at first, believing that he favored certain patients over others. As didn’t say a word to you in the beginning, his only responses alternated between blank stares and curt words that lasted two seconds at most. Even with his custom doctor’s mask and lack of eyebrows, his demeanor did the talking for him.

But eventually, he began to make small conversation with you. His words were still short, but definitely way more than what his coworkers received. The sudden change didn't make much sense. As Nodt, the most nonsocial person on Earth, showing interest in something other than his job? Impossible.  You figured that was just his personality … but little old you failed to realize that your new friend lover was leading you on a gurney straight to Hell.

As the months went by, As Nodt stopped showing up to work. You didn’t even realize he was gone until you came in one day and another neurologist handled your appointment. You assumed he was on vacation, so you didn’t worry too much. You went home that day and did your daily routine, watching a cheesy reality show with a snack. It was only a shame that you didn’t catch the small camera that was placed within the console below the flat screen. Or the carnival teddy bear’s eyes that were now camera lenses. Every small corner in your home had been turned into a secret watch party for As to learn everything about you. From the clothes you wear down to the way your fingers moved when you held something of value. His dark eyes burned everything into memory. He couldn’t wait to see that look of fear in your eyes again.

The Fear and His Frankenstein

The day you were taken from your home was akin to a scene right out of a psychological horror. You came home from your errands as normal, but things just felt out of place. The feeling of being watched crawled all over you like flies on a piece of food. It was a mystery… up until a small flash on the TV console caught your eye. You thought it to be a reflection of light from outside, but they don't flicker like a heartbeat. The moment you got closer to it, As Nodt came from the shadows and used a chloroform cloth to make you pass out. It took five minutes for you to finally go unconscious. The neuroscientist’s face crinkled into a creepy expression as he carried you out bridal style.

When you woke up, you were met with grim lighting and advanced machinery. The room was filled with computer monitors, graduated cylinders with foreign chemicals, and multiple shelves of books. You were in a lab. Your eyes studied the room until they landed on As Nodt’s figure. You were filled with confused relief to see him, and went to ask where he had been, but he cut you off with a deep and eerie command.

“Experiments should keep their mouths closed until they are given permission to speak. And I did not grant you that, so I suggest shutting your mouth unless you want to end up like the failures in those tanks.”

Life after that first day was pure agony. Every single moment brought misery. It would make even the strongest people crumble. As Nodt would tell you it’s “for the sake of research and health” but you knew better. He was sick and obsessive, but what could you do? You had little to no power, so your insults and words meant nothing to him. They were as valuable as the dirt that clung to his shoes. Throw every single curse word at him if you want to. It won’t save you from what will come.

His experiments were tormenting and painful. Needles and brain-prodding machines chipped away your sense of self every day. There was no hour where you weren’t being picked at with a needle, or an MEG scanner being attached to your head. The flashing lights and constant clips of horror movies was nothing compared to the pain-inducing drugs that invaded your nervous system. Or the electric buzzing that made your senses numb. The daily experiments were already bad enough, but when it came to his punishments, he became a sadistic creature. Anything that would bring you pain, physically or mentally, As Nodt would turn it up ten notches. 

For every offense that you commit, this silent scientist will base the experiment on whatever it was you did. If you leave the house without permission, he’ll use a special medicine that renders the nerves of your hands useless for two weeks. He’ll feed you and all, but don’t see it as a token of appreciation. Now, if you mess with his other experiments… you’ll wish you’d be one of those brains in the tanks. As Nodt would strap you to a chair and use an MEG scanner and clips of him experimenting on the other “failures” to torment you for hours. In your best interest, and others, don’t underestimate his ruthlessness. If you desire to keep your body and consciousness intact, just keep quiet and be his good little test subject.

“Why do you insist on being so difficult? Because of your constant insolence, I’ve been forced to end the trials of two nearly successful subjects. Thanks to your little belief of escaping, they’ve paid the price. You’ll make up for that, won’t you?” 

♱☠︎.𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: I apologize for posting this three days after Halloween is over hfbdjf. But I hope you all enjoy these spooky headcanons for As Nodt!

©ryukenzz 2023. Do not copy, paste, steal, translate, or repost my work.

[bitchlessdino]

Alien Remnants in Society: Lee Jung Chan Findings

Pairing: astrology major!Chan x genderless alien!reader

Genre: suggestive, fluff, humor

Word count: 2.7k

Tags: suggestive language, astronomy major!chan, genderless ace-presenting alien!reader, lowkey stalker chan, prodigy!chan, horny!chan, fellow alien enthusiast!vernon (Hansol), aggressive!reader, mentions of blood, strangulation

author note: this is different from what I normally do so I have my reservations about it, but either way I hope yall enjoy it and enjoy the rest of the collab of @svthub's SPOOKTEEN in this link

Lee Chan is a smart kid. He’s one of the top students in his assigned major, performing above expectancy levels in his other classes, and got into his university with a full scholarship with a 1600 SAT score. This guy is absolutely gifted, but what does he focus all his free time on? Aliens.

Every genius has a quirk. For Chan, it was aliens.

When he was 8 years old, somehow studying and comprehending the second law of thermodynamics and being entertained by the likes of his beloved Jurassic World legos, his interest in the wonders of otherworldly beings was piqued when his normal SpongeBob program was interrupted by the local news reports of crop circles and their relevance to the existence of aliens.

This kid is a prodigy, he was still convinced Santa existed, but a prodigy. How could he be convinced by measly crop circles you may wonder. He wasn’t, but when he’d ask his parents or locals about the ideas of aliens, ideas and theories were blurred, making the boy decide to investigate himself. Every interview, every textbook definition, every historical recording, he’s put in a journal which he called ‘Lee Jung Chan Findings.’

Now he’s 20-something following a peer and suspecting finally, at last finally, that they are not who they say they are, but in fact, an unearthly life form and he was going to prove it.

It started with some mild stalking, which in his defense was an…idea at the time, not a good one but an idea (he has no idea how has yet to be arrested), and he’d observe what set you off from the rest. Some of his notes recorded the following:

‘Doesn’t take advantage of the school cafeteria,’

Or, 

‘Makes minimal to no sound, possibly to avoid attention,’

Or even the more ridiculous,

‘Avoids Taylor Swift music like the plague. Who doesn’t like Taylor Swift?’

Chan, himself, could feel his sanity slowly depleting, running on months’ worth of time into his research, having his notes looked over with fellow Alien enthusiast Hansol from the music production department that he met through his historical literature class. He could even feel the skepticism from a believer as big as he is, and Hansol is getting a low bearing D in Anthropology. And listens to Drake unironically.

“Are these a bit of a stretch? I didn’t see how any of these would point them out to be extraterrestrial.”

Chan could understand where his friend was coming from, but what more could he provide? All he knew was you showed up one day on campus and you were not like any student that he’s met or observed before. He prides himself in having a keen sense of people and their behaviors. You didn’t seem to line up close with anyone in his experience, which intrigued him. Your presence just made you seem like you were made to, well, exist and fade into the background.

Chan noticed you though. He sees all.

He'd be lying if he said there wasn’t a time he thought of giving up. His research was already reaching the length of a year, to his standards long considering he grasped the concept of astrophysics statistics in a week. He felt discouraged, he was feeling wronged. It was as if the world was against him and wanted to see his dreams die.

Calm down, Macbeth. Save it for Halloween.

However, as if someone heard his agnostic prayers, he stumbles upon a sudden breakthrough. The strangest discovery thing yet. Upon following you out of the library like he does every Thursday night, he loses you almost immediately, initially unfortunate, but loses himself on campus. The lights that typically stood tall and bright blew out, causing a surge of mystery in what he couldn’t see.

There was one lone light left, standing the brightest, the tallest of any star in the sky. He stands right underneath it, comforted by its glow until he hears it shatter, explode actually. The light of the pole not only goes out but shards of glass fall from right above him, making him instinctively pull away from its perimeter but unable to leave unscathed.

He touches his cheek up inspection, using the flashlight on his phone to detect blood, concluding a cut on his cheek. “What the fuc–”

He uses the sleeve of his crew neck to hold down the spill, in doing so he detects a low but distinct hum. His sensitive ears start to pick up its resonance and the little scientist in him decides to follow it. It grows louder and more apparent in the darkest alley of the college town but tonight a light glow emulates in place of its usual pitch black. 

He treads lightly, seeing a figure with what looks like its arm in the air, sporadically shaking in a constant and repetitive motion. What looks to be the elbow part of theirs is bent, armpit glow, the most insane thing he ever witnessed in real life. Still clutching his cheek, Chan pulls out his phone from his front pocket, pressing buttons single-handedly to get on his camera. He begins videotaping the event, making sure the image is clear and focused, stepping just a little closer until his foot hits a hard lump on the ground. He stumbles to grip his phone and fails when it drops right beneath his feet but it's too late.

Your head snaps towards him and in a blink of an eye, your hands are around his neck threateningly as he’s flat on his back on the ground. Your finger presses in the vital parameters of his neck, squeezing with only enough space for a single breath. Your knees barriers between one of his legs as your torso towering over him, your eyes dark and stoic, like ones of a cold-blooded murderer.

He put his hands up defensively, “L-let’s not get hasty here.”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t eliminate you.”

He realizes this is the first time heard your voice. Your smooth yet calming, what he imagines one of that help sleep audio tapes would sound like. Your face, still emitting that strange glow, flawless up close and personal. He already knew you were physically aesthetic to look at but, with his view, his human instincts naturally come out, feeling a stiff discomfort in his thick denim bottoms. Never in his life did he think being held on the ground by his neck, threatened by a nonhuman creature to get his life force taken out of him would make him so, for lack of better less crude words, horny. This probably was something he should think to bring up with his therapist.

“Now, I completely understand where you’re coming from, you have every right to be mad, but this would be a very big mistake if you were to kill me. I’ll explain why–”

“You, measly human, have been stalking me for an earth year—”

“M-measly?” he stutters.

“You are violating what your people call, ‘right to privacy,’ and make it a point to disrupt each and every one of my environmental studies. I can easily evaporate you. Give me reasons why I shouldn’t.” There has been yet a shift in your tone or eyes, and despite that, your words, mainlines in his body like an IV, leading the blood straight to the least helpful body part at the moment. 

Why couldn’t this have happened during prom night when Chae offered to be his ‘first’ in Mingyu’s van?

“I mean you absolutely no harm! In fact, I admire you. Your presence. Your existence is an incredible personal and scientific discovery–”

“Flattery is an earthy construct to reinforce wants and desired results, your poor attempt at such gives you a disadvantage in this case.”

“I simply want to understand your…people? Your culture, your way of life. I am nothing but a man of discovery…and my word. So, in exchange for letting me live and perhaps, study you–”

“I believe other humans use the phrase, ‘fat chance.’ This is that.”

“You can study me!” he exclaims. “I give you anatomical permission!”

You cock your head. “Why would that interest me?”

Despite being in a near-death situation, his slight narcissism still comes through. “Well, not to toot my own horn, but I am somewhat of a genius by Earthly standards here. I would provide you valuable insight and information.”

“I read that be unlikely.”

“Would it not prevalent to understand the human mind as you ask me, a human, questions?”

You pause, actually considering it, and your grip loosens around his throat. It makes Chan both relieved yet slightly disappointed, for reasons he’ll never understand. You look back at him in wonder, only blinking blankly at him before commenting.

“You are…peculiar.”

“That’s what I'm saying!” Chan agrees proudly.

And with that, you are somehow convinced to let him live. Not getting into why, but he was an interesting pick, and the next day you’re in his dorm room in front of those outdated human cameras that never have nearly enough tape to record something important. Emotions for you did not come out the same way as a human does but annoyance was becoming more than a recurring response. Chan currently being the main source of that irritability right now.

“So, first off. Where do you come from?” Smiling from ear to ear, he is ecstatic to interview his first report of an alien.

“A place unknown far from where you reside. It’s a destination no currently advanced human technology could possibly reach.”

Chan takes a beat to scribble that in his notes. “Great…how did you travel to Earth?”

You blink. “If I answer that imposition, you must be prepared for deat–”

“Okay, touchy subject,” he chuckles nervously, “Skipping. Next Question, um, what brings you to our planet?”

Your silence is worth a thousand words, only giving him that menacing glare you had when your hands were around his throat. He instinctively places his hand against his neck, the sensation of your alien grippers lingering on him. That’s right, he almost died, but why was that thrilling?

“Okay, same response as the previous question. Now, Taylor Swift. Good or bad—“

“How do these questions bring worth to your research?”

He ponders. “Well, they give an idea of the qualities of life forms outside the human’s existence. There’s hardly ever an opportunity for us to interview an extraterrestrial being such as yourself.”

“And you believe whether or not I partake interest in what you call ‘music’ here revolutionary information?”

He shrugs, seeing your point, “It’d be interesting in my research to get opinions of observations you’ve made appointing yourself as a resident here. You’ve taken place on this Earth as human for years. You’re bound to have gained some personal biases…So Taylor Swift?”

“...It interferes with my communications.” You answer plainly.

“She is an international treasure. Anyways. Communications. Is that what you were doing when I found you last night?”

“The actions I partook was a form of communication, yes, however it is to a farther receiver that does not currently locate where I am now.”

“You mean your overlords?”

You roll your eyes, the first almost humanistic action you made today. “...sure.”

“I’m kidding, but about the comms. What makes you flapping your elbow, and the ultra-bright armpit, or whatever is your alien counterpart to the name, It’s a way of communicating? Are your bodies born with communicators or was something implemented into your body in order for that to happen?”

“Once again, that information is classified.”

“Okay, but the glowing armpit. What’s that about?’

The interview drowns for about an hour and you feel the human urge to sleep, which was rare since your species does not require as much as your counterpart does. The questions fall into the category of ones that could be answered and ones that could have Chan disintegrated, and he reaches his final ones, his rather important ones.

“Does your species believe in love?” he asks with a glint of hope in his eyes.

“We believe in the construct of building strong soldiers, leaders, and world builders. And by doing so we mate and use monogamous bonds to produce strong offspring and prevent unfavorable ones. Some are evolved enough to reproduce asexually and create a variation of their person that would do good for our society.”

That answer stuns him, quite a culture shock if he was honest, and he saw the muppet movie.

“...but love? Don’t any of you create bonds out of romantic intention?”

“Romance is a human concept that is, ironically, overromanticized to the point that your people are desperate enough to depend on technology to provide you a potential mate. My people have come far to realize we are our own people and reproduction is clearly recreational. There have been some cases where ‘intimate bonds’ are formed, but they are rare. Most of what my planet values are knowledge and sustenance. It’s what keeps my people alive.”

“So then the sex, mating you call it, is it not pleasurable as humans can perceive it to be?”

“Our pleasure receptors are not as sensitive or necessary as humans. It does not serve all the same purposes as it would for you.”

Chan hums, jotting that down, and pauses, glancing you up and down, before he proceeds with the next question. “Have you personally experienced…it?”

“Mating?”

“...yes.” a tinge of pink creeps up on his cheeks.

“I have yet to. My current tasks take precedence before I can move on to partaking in a career in reproduction if I decide to do so.”

His eyes shot open. “C-career?”

“Are we done here, tiny Earthling?” You blink at him blankly.

“Tiny–Sure we can stop for today. We can proceed with more tomorrow.”

“More,” you repeat, “what other information possibly desire?”

“Just,” he softly coughs, shutting down his camera, “other things. Meanwhile, we can get on with your study, if you want.”

“I’ve noted all I needed in my internal archive,” you respond standing up from your seat.

“Oh yeah, like what,” he smiles, curious.

You approach him at a steady pace, leveling with his gaze, and peering at him as his breath drew out of him reluctantly. It was much closer a distance than the one last night and in a much brighter setting. He's startled by the tension in your eyes, gripping the desk behind him for comfort, maybe restraint even.

“You have an escalated image of yourself and falter when I do anything to undermine that.”

“I’d think that's a natural response–”

“A lot of humans are more humble. Have a sense of shame. Not you. You do admittedly have higher level attention of most but lack the emotional intelligence.”

“Wh–rude.”

“And,” your arms border his sides, just hardly grazing his arm hairs on the desk, “You exhibit blood to your facial epidermis, an accelerating heartbeat, and perspiration, an abundance in fact, while in my presence.”

He grips harder against the wood, rapidly blinking his eyes, and sucking in his gut to minimalize physical contact.

“...You are an alien that tried to kill me.” He points out matter of factly.

“You use humor as filler, but your heart just accelerated by 20 beats per minute…I trigger your human nervous system. Why?”

Why was that? Because he expected a Simpson’s rendition of a foreign life form, not you. He may have known you to be wearing your human skin suit, something that should’ve set more flashing red warning signs than it actually did, but all he could feel was a gravitational pull towards you, something much more complicated than he could’ve ever explained.

“Like I said. You almost killed me.”

Your gaze drops down, letting Chan do the same, both pairs of eyes locked on the raging erection in his pants. His hands immediately shoot covering it, “Fear is an elevated study of arousal! It’s backed by science.”

“If your cerebral cortex is projecting that idea, okay.” You back off of him, picking up your own items with intention of leaving. “I would like to interject. I am not clear why you chose to dissect me when you are so close with my comrade.”

He squints, his arouse state faltering in a matter of seconds, confusion in his place. “What? Who?”

“He is the specimen with a human-made tablet in his hand wherever he goes. The goal was for him to make himself inconspicuous in the human eyes, but he discovered your people’s ‘Netflix’ and has been utilizing it non-stop.”

Chan’s eyes shot open again for the umpteen time. “HANSOL?!”

[promptsblog]

Anon prompt requests: (Part 2: Vlogger prompts)

Here are some vlog-themed writing prompts:

1. Your character starts a vlog to document the last year of high school. What secret does the camera capture that wasn't meant to be shared?

2. A group of friends discover a channel where the vlogger eerily resembles one of them. What happens when they start watching the videos?

3. Your character is an investigative journalist, vlogging their discoveries as they uncover secrets within their insular world.

4. A vlogger who specializes in debunking myths decides to tackle a local urban legend.

5. Your character starts accepting challenges to boost their view count, but the challenges begin to escalate in dangerous ways.

6. A famous vlogger mysteriously disappears. Your character decides to follow the clues left in their last few videos to find out what happened.

7. A collab gone horribly wrong.

8. Your character’s pet gains internet fame through their vlog. How does this sudden popularity change both their lives?

9. A beauty vlogger starts receiving mysterious products from an anonymous sender. The products seem high quality at first but start to have some strange effects on the vlogger.

To be continued...

Part 1

[soundsandstuff]

new sh*t that dropped last week

new music friday recap - jul 12

here are my highlights of some of last week's (7/7-7/11) new drops — or at least the ones i listened to:

the tops ★

aaa - hyukoh & sunset rollercoaster (💿)

after that incredible lead single (young man), this collaboration between hyuko (🇰🇷) and sunset rollercoaster (🇹🇼) was probably one of my most anticipated july releases; and let me just say this: it blew my mind.

melodically, this album is a delight. from your feel-good sunny-summer-day indie rock moments to more atmospherical and immersive psychedelic tracks - the album navigates so smoothly through very different sounds in such a captivating way. you just can't stop listening.

the production in this is also incredible. there are so many details to discover within each track which make for the overall listening experience a very entertaining one.

it's a solid 9/10 for me. this is easily one of my favorite indie rock releases of 2024.

top 3 tracks: kite war, young man, aaaannnnteeeeennnaaaaaa

2. charm - clairo (💿)

for someone who has been a clairo listener since her early days, it's always exciting to listen to her new records. it feels like catching up with that one friend you see every couple of years. you see, over the course of her career, she has partnered up with different incredible producers for each project to give us a peek into her life and her journey of self-discovery.

we have witnessed her growth happen before our eyes through her work, both sonically and thematically. this is most evident in this record. her lo-fi bedroom pop days from the start of her career are far behind her as she steps into a territory where she feels most confident.

there's a certain warmth to this record. this record has a very 70s inspired sound. it's jazzy, it's folk-y, psychedelic at times. it's very cohesive as a whole, and has some captivating melodies all throughout. her voice, as always, is mellow and whisper-y at times. however, this fits perfectly in the theme and context of this album making giving a sense of intimacy

i think this is a 8.7/10 for me.

top 3 tracks: slow dance, terrapin, echo

the saved ⟡

still what i'm looking for - mac demarco & ryan paris (🎵)

this is the second mac demarco and ryan paris collab, and it's just as incredible as the first one. though this only features ryan paris' vocals, it feels like the perfect choice for this nostalgic adult contemporary melody injected with mac demarco's signature style. fingers crossed we get more collabs in the future.

2. floating parade - michael kiwanuka (🎵)

welcome back, michael kiwanuka. this is his first single in three years, and by the looks of it we're in for a very promising new era. it's soulful, it's dreamy, definitely a must-listend.

3. mary jane - orion sun (🎵)

the strings in this song are sick, complementing very well her very signature ethereal soul/rnb sound. her pen game also remains top tier. it did resonate thematically a lot with me. there's a certain honesty and vulnerability behind her work, which i quite enjoy.

4. drugs n' lullabies - isaiah falls (💿)

though his soulful vocals are a delight to listen to, the production behind this record is the star of the show. the production here is incredible, giving this rnb/soul record a very fresh sound. its funky with a little psychedelic groove to it, it's soulful, and there's some hip-hop influence all throughout the record.

not dull moment listening to this record, for sure. i was so eager to listen to the next song, waiting to be surprised — and i was every time. the downside: some of the songs are a little short, sometimes a little too short. with a production like that you can't help but want more.

there's a few tracks i would've removed, if i'm being honest, as they feel a bit like fillers in comparison to some other stronger songs on the record. however, there's still a little charm in some of these lighter tracks.

overall an 8.5/10 for me. i'm a big production guy and this record gave me everything i needed.

top 3 tracks: city birds, love me or love me not, meet me by the moon.

5. posse ep volume 2 - metronomy (EP)

this is a very interesting project. posse vol 1 left very big shoes to fill, and i'm not sure metronomy quite achieved it in this one. however, it was a very enjoyable project to listen to. he's showcasing once again his range as a producer with very interesting sounds and an interesting lineup of collaborators. saved 3/5 tracks which i will definitely be revisiting.

top 3 tracks: nice town, my love, with balance

6. yustyna - artemas (💿)

though i often feel hesitant when it comes to acts that blow up on tiktok, artemas is one i am very intrigued by. i love this sort of post-punk/pop noir vibe he brings to the table. he kind of reminds me of the sound blackbear or the neighborhood used to have around 2014. maybe it is that nostalgia that draws me towards his projects.

my only downside with this projects is that it feels a bit shallow at times, which makes me question the authenticity behind it. with a sound like this you would expect maybe a little more lyrical complexity or depth of some sort. at times it feels as he's pushing this hedonistic persona on us a little too hard.

nonetheless, this is a very interesting project with a very cohesive production all throughout. saved some tracks from here, and will be keeping him on my radar for upcoming releases. who knows, maybe his persona will be a little more convincing on his next project.

overall 6.5/10. i wasn't really blown away overall because how one-note it felt lyrically/thematically, but i see the potential.

top 3 tracks: i always kew you'd be the death of me, dirty little secret, you're simply wonderful.

7. big ideas - remi wolf (💿)

this is a project i haven't finished listening yet. however, i was super into it during the first half. i must say my favorite song so far have been the more rnb oriented tracks; however, my favorite think in this record is how many different sounds and genres she is exploring with. theres fun pop songs, some more on the rock pop side. i do love a variety. remi wold is definitely on my radar.

top tracks so far: motorcycle, kangaroo

the okays & the skips ⏭

x's - cigarettes after sex (💿)

if you're a fan fof cigs after sex's hazy psychedelic dream pop sound, it is always pleasant to listen to one of their records. i will be honest tho: there's no much novelty going on here. it seems they have grown comfortable on that one specific sound and the recurring themes of longing and heartbreak, which over time seems to have also diluted the depth their lyrics once had.

this one's an okay. giving it a 6/10. it's not a bad record, but there's certainly not a standout track. it seems as if there hasn't been one since their self-titled record. gun to my head and i still couldn't tell these songs apart from each other.

however, it does feel like a record you would find yourself listening to one day. though one-note , there's a certain comfort to their sound. sometimes you just need to float away on the hazy reverb-heavy guitars as greg gonzalez whispers moody melodies of heartbreak into your ear.

top 3 tracks: hideaway, baby blue movie, x's

2. no questions - tyga & sabrina claudio (🎵)

this one is just okay. sabrina claudio brings her silky vocal performance into the track, which is always a treat. however, there's just something about tyga i'm not really a fan of. there's just nothing unique (?) about him or his delivery. feels like any other rapper that goes viral on tiktok everyone will forget about in a couple of days.

3. dreams i see - kid kudi (🎵)

nothing special about this song tbh, and the production feels lazy and generic even. i miss the experimental kid cudi. this was a skip for me, sorry.

4. corazón - nelly furtado & bomba estéreo (🎵)

her lead comeback single was incredible. the sound was exactly what we expected from the one who gave us some of the most iconic bangers of the 2000s. it had a certain familiarity to her signature sound, but with a more current feel.

however, this sound feels very foreign to her, and bomba estéreo feels like an odd collaborator given the lineup of collaborators she has already teased for this era. she is outside her element, and i understand her choice to experiment with different sounds (as that is sort of an unwritten requirement the general public is demanding from pop artists in the 2020s); but it feels a bit... off. a skip.

5. heaven - toro y moi, kevin abstract & lev (🎵)

a little more hip-hop/pop than your usual toro y moi, which is kind of a bummer considering there's a certain uniqueness to the production of his previous work that i kind of enjoy. wasn't necesarily bad, but just okay i guess?

6. open this wall - berlioz (💿)

ever since their debut ep (jazz is for ordinary people), berlioz has been on my radar. its something that i only could describe as feel good jazz infused with house. this project is a little more house-y than their debut ep, which sometimes does give it a bit of an elevator music kind of vibe. i would've loved if they kept exploring a bit more the jazzy sound of their previous record. nonetheless, there are some very enjoyable moments in this record, which you just can't help to vibe to. i guess this one is a good okay.

top 3 tracks: ascencion, peace, something will happen

the flops ⬇

woman's world - katy perry (🎵)

bit disappointing that the long-awaited return of the once pop legend that gave us some of the biggest pop anthems is a vague attempt at a feminist anthem. the biggest irony is that she partnered with known abuser dr. luke in what seems like a desperate attempt for a new no. 1 single. by the looks of it, this upcoming era promises to be another miss.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

my besties eurovisionspain just made this article about 12 artists that could be great choices for next year benidorm fest so i had to talk about them!!! here's the full article but i'll go over the artists / groups for all of you who don't speak spanish plus give my little opinion :)

(the links in the artists' name will go to the song the eurovisionspain team selected to be a showcase of them, so think of them as how a benifest entry for them could be like)

delaporte: delaporte is a duo formed by spaniard sandra delaporte and italian sergio salvi known for being one of the biggest electronic pop bands right now. i actually know them through their project titanas, made to celebrate female voices in the spanish music industry; my personal favourite of them is clap clap, their collab with anaju.

arde bogotá: arde bogotá is an indie rock band formed in cartagena (murcia) in 2017 by antonio garcía, dani sánchez, pepe esteban, and josé ángel mercader, known for the characteristic voice of their vocalist. i've actually been listening to their song antiaéreo for a while now, so i'm glad they're on this list!!! also i love how hard los perros (the song linked under the name) goes !!!

julieta: julieta is a pop and urban artist that sings in both catalan and spanish that goes from pop to reggaeton to house. i had not listened to anything from her but i knew her and i knew she was a girlie i should be on the lookout for. also y'all know how much i love when artists sing in another language that isn't spanish or english so !!!!!

GOMZ: GOMZ, whose real name is raúl gómez, is an indie electropop artist who first rose to fame (I KNEW I KNEW HIM) when he composed tu canción, the song that represented spain in esc 2018. his song sounds nice !!!

judeline: judeline was born in cádiz, and with only 20 years old, she's one of the biggest newcomers to the spanish urban scene. just as with julieta, tho i hadn't listened to any of her songs i knew who she was and yeah, this girl is gonna go far for sure !!!!

joe crepúsculo: NOT JOE CREPÚSCULO 😭😭😭 he's a well established indie pop / electronic artist known for his dance anthems and irreverent attitude. y'all i've seen this man live without knowing who he was and he knows how to give a show that's for sure. he's just a weird little man, just an absolute sicko.

fillas de cassandra: they're a female duo from vigo formed of maria SOA and sara faro who fuse galician oral tradition and modern sounds with a feminism focus on all her songs. i actually have listened to them before, specifically to their song lisistrata (PLEASE LISTEN TO IT AND WATCH THE MV IT'S GREAT), and after learning a bit more about them i might be a bit obsessed with them??? like just from their name ('daughters of cassandra'), their themes and sound, the fact that most of their songs titles reference greek mythology, and how much i loved tataravoa (the linked song, means 'great-grandmother' in galician) that i instantly put it in my playlist... also galician !!!!!!

bajocero x: bajocero x is the stage name of madrid-born daniel lópez, a newcomer to the urban pop scene who actually was a reserve artist in the previous benidorm fest! i like his sound he has potential!

SAMURAÏ: I CAN'T BELIEVE SAMU IS HERE LET'S GOOOO. samuraï is the stage named of aroa, also from madrid, an indie pop-rock artist with a very strong visual and vocal presence. GUYS YOU DON'T UNDERSTADN I'M OBSESSED WITH HER. like i've listened to all her songs so many times she's one of my biggest discoveries of 2023 if not the best i am so in love with her it isn't even funny. her last ep called artillería is so good and it also follows a theme in the naming of the songs which i love so so very much !!!!!! i'm struggling to pick only one song of hers to show to y'all (the linked song is very good btw one of my faves), so i'll give you three: the first song of hers i listened to, her collab with la la love you, and imo her best song in the last ep.

KAI NAKAI: kai nakai is the stage name of iratxe aguilera, a basque singer from gasteiz that does feminist urban music in basque language (euskera). i didn't know her and !!!!!! i do love me some minority language in a popular genre honestly

dulzaro: he's an artist from valladolid who fuses traditional castilian-leonese sounds like jotas, charros and corridos, with traditional instruments like cucharas, panderetas, panderos and botellas de anís, and modern sounds and mixes, to make a quite unique sound. i didn't know him but now i love him so much holy shit !!!! just look at the link and that music video!!!! it's chock full of castilian folklore and traditions and even the town screams castilla y león like it's so fucking perfect!!! and it's a jota !!!!!! oh how i would love this to go to eurovision fuck i know it'd have the same placement as eaea but i don't care this shit is so fucking good.

maría peláe: OH I LOVE HER. maría peláe, born in málaga, is probably one of the new generation of folclóricas [flamenco personalities] in the country, with flamenco full of social messages and almost an agressiveness to it. SHE'S AN ICON she's so funny and sassy and EVERYTHING!!! i love her song por si te vas so much (the music video for it is so good actually) but i might love el grillo (the linked song) even more like it has sooo much lola flores (the greatest flamenco artist ever) energy!!!!! i absolutely adore her

GUITARRICADELAFUENTE: MY MAN. born in aragón, he is a singer songwriter known for his unique sound and his traditional sounds - always with a guitar at the center, that combine rumba, flamenco and indie sounds. he's actually so good it's actually criminal he hasn't gone to benidorm fest. also i'm contractually obligated to link the song that made me discovered him because that song changed the course of my life, nana triste; but also his most known song that actually was who made him known to the public is guantanamera, a version of a traditional havanera that's almost become a classic here. also that mv is how i imagine paradise (it's the town where his grandma lives i think, in aragón).

[whataweirdfeeling]

HELLO welcome to WAWF WEDNESDAY your monthly WAWF update [1st Wednesday of each month]

Considering it is now the month of May @whataweirdfeeling favorite short film is at its 6th & final of the ongoing hexalogy that is 'CLAIR' Find out more about the film and check out what else WAWF has been up to and more

Read below to find out what else WAWF has been up to this month

WAWF NEWS: LVL 6

CLAIR is a bi-annual/seasonal short film by our curator @vyngak [Half released Nov 30 & half May 3] based on clairaudience and the paradoxical nature of music and history symbolically repeating itself through quicker stronger and faster natures The path of CLAIR is a journey all told as a true story of real world events intuitively experienced then reimagined in a glamorously exaggerated fictional universe All for the love of music All for the love of art Walk through CLAIR’s plethora of tastes mediums and discoveries Grow with it as it has and will continue to grow with the ever changing universe Watch and listen to each CLAIR on our curators Instagram @vyngak as we approach the official release of clVIr [lvl 6]

WAWF’s CRANKING

Recent: Hyperdrama [Album] - Justice

Bars ~ WE STILL DON’T TRUST YOU [Album] - Future, Cold Visions [Album] - Bladee, The Coldest [Album] - Skilla Baby,

Alt ~ All Born Screaming [Album] - St. Vincent, Teething [Album] - Porij, Your Day Will Come [Album] - Chanel Beads

Smooth ~ PARTYNEXTDOOR 4 [Album] - PARTYNEXTDOOR, Jeremy [Album] - Yung Bleu, Boundaries [Album] - Sinéad Harnett

Lowkey: BRODIE WORLD [Album] - AG CLUB

Bars ~ My Gift To You [Ep] - Hardrock, Molly Santana [Album] - Molly Santana, BORN2BEGREAT [Single] - Untiljapan

Alt ~ Still Corners [Album] - Dream Talk, Save The World [Album] - AceMo, Dennis [Album] - Sega Bodega

Smooth ~ Two Star & The Dream Police [Album] - Mk.gee, Still [Album] Erika de Casier, Fabiana Palladino [Album] - Fabiana Palladino

Still in Rotation: 99.9% [Album] - KAYTRANADA

Bars ~ The Life of Pablo [Album] - Ye, Whole Lotta Red [Album] - Playboi Carti, Birds In The Trap Sing McKnight

Alt ~ The Slow Rush [Album] - Tame Impala, City Club [Album] - The Growlers, Thunder [Single] - Roy Blair

Smooth ~ Blonde [Album] - Frank Ocean, “Awaken, My Love!” [Album] - Childish Gambino, Heaven or Hell [Album] - Don Toliver

Throwback: Kala [Album] - M.I.A.

Bars ~ Stankonia [Album] - OutKast, The Shining [Album] - J Dilla, #1 Girl [Album] - Mindless Behavior

Alt ~ Contra [Album] - Vampire Weekend, The Lumineers [Album] - The Lumineers, Plastic Beach [Album] - Gorillaz

Smooth ~ 4 [Album] - Beyoncé, Corinne Bailey Rae [Album] - Corinne Bailey Rae, Comin' From Where I’m From [Album] - Anthony Hamilton

WAWF’s MAKING

Welcome to #WAWFsmaking where you can check out new @whataweirdfeeling creations or join in on the fun

In honor of the official release of clVIr [lvl 6] this Friday [May 3rd] @whataweirdfeeling wanted to keep it animated with the official release of the new show/mini series we have been working on.. STAY TUNED

Join WAWFie [WAWF internet Explore] on his first adventure! Through 'The Adventures of WAWFie' #WAWF will grow and learn about each and every one of the intricacies the World Wide Web has to offer..through animation of course

See Ep 1 of 'The Adventures of WAWFie' on Instagram @whataweirdfeeling and let us know in the comments where you would like WAWFie to venture in the next episode

WAWF’s Wearing

In honor of 'CLAIR' check out our new @whataweirdfeeling x T33n Ang$t article '#WAWFt33n' styled with some specific editorial T33n Ang$t pieces similar to those of past CLAIR films

Also be sure to check out our new @whataweirdfeeling x Backtracking Film collab drop for WAWF Shop Drop 004 - 'Keep Calm and #WAWF'

Backtracking will be showing May 4th at the Grace St. Theatre

Along with promoting/supporting growing artists like these WAWF magazine pushes fashion culture and much more

Words/Curated by

[papillon82fluttersby]

Thanks @real-life-senshi for tagging me! I rarely do these kinds of 'get-to-know-you' posts but why not?

The Rules: Tag (9) people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the following:

Four Ships:

Victuuri (Victor Nikiforov x Yuuri Katsuki, Yuri!!! On Ice): I got pulled into the YOI fandom when someone I was following started posting what I thought at the time was an annoyingly excessive number of YOI-related memes and gifs. I ended up watching the series out of curiosity to know what the hype was all about and enjoyed it a lot, which led me to find other people equally interested and talking about it around here, and ultimately led me to the wider world of AO3 where I found many talented writers both in this fandom and others. So I would like to take this opportunity to formally thank the aforementioned YOI-meme poster who unwittingly introduced me to the fandom: @rosepetalrevolution please receive my most heartfelt thanks and this metaphorical gift basket 🎁

Judiki (Julian x Dick Kirrin, Famous Five): If you've been around my blog lately, you know I've been introduced to this pairing by the lovely and talented @sweetsorcery and @majormcnerdy-geekinfantry-blog. This pairing was an unexpected and delightful find that is now living rent free in my head.

Zeus x Ganymede (Greek mythology): @littlesparklight is solely responsible for my discovery and enjoyment of this ship! This prolific writer has also produced many different works around various Greek myths, both shippy and non-shippy, and I can only urge you to visit her AO3 page.

Writers x Readers x Artists: I love collabs. I love when a reader makes a comment that sparks a future idea for a writer. I love when an artist surprises a writer with art for their fics, or when a writer makes a snippet based on a piece of art. Just keep that virtuous circle going!

(I just realised that the 3 ships I listed are all MM but that's not exclusively representative to my tastes. I equally enjoy MF or FF or any other combinations!)

Last Song: The Eurovision 2023 playlist that I listened on repeat for my ratings. I don't really listen to a lot of music on my own; I find it too distracting when I'm reading or looking stuff up on my computer. I listened to music a lot more when I used to draw, though; I always had music as a background then.

Currently Reading: Bill Bryson's The Body: A Guide for Occupants (non fiction) ... as well as a lot of ongoing fics on AO3 -- mostly original works but some fanfics too.

Last Movie: That would be Alexandre Astier's Kaamelott (Premier Volet), based on the legend of King Arthur. It started as a short-format humoristic TV series made of 3-minute episodes, then evolved into 50-minute episodes as the plot got more involved and explored deeper concepts, and the conclusion should now be in the form of a movie trilogy, the first one of which was released a couple of years ago. For a long time, my awareness of the franchise was mainly about the earlier 3-minute humoristic episodes, as they benefit from regular (but out of sequence) reruns on TV. Only recently did I watch the full 6 seasons in the order they were meant to be watched, which greatly enhances the experience. I hope they can get the final two movies made!

Craving: TIME. Seriously. Give me time to read the growing pile of books sitting on my 'to-read' shelf. Give me time to re-read books I've enjoyed in the past and see if I have the same outlook now as I did then. Give me time to read and re-read and comment on AO3 fics. Give me time to resume drawing and learn how to properly use digital art tools. Give me time to practice the piano again. Give me time to exercise so I can feel fitter and stronger in my body. GIVE ME TIME.

Tagging: Absolutely no pressure doing this! Just tagging some of my mutuals and people whose posts and contents always brighten up my dash :) @moonwhing @proantagonista (whom I have not mentioned above but whose YOI fic "Winter Song" was one of the earliest I read and convinced me there was really good stuff to be found in fanfic) @sweetsorcery @majormcnerdy-geekinfantry-blog @littlesparklight @rosepetalrevolution @happyheidi @somethingyoirelated @sheepskeleton-art

[polizwrites]

WIP Update - 7 Jun 2023

Another super-productive writing week, at least when it comes to  new ficIets!  I touched 11 fics (2 WIPs  & 9 new works)  for a total of  4309 words - my highest weekly total of the year so far!

On Ao3, I posted:

Chapter 8 of Never More to Go Astray  - my Stuckony Star Wars fusion WIP with Jedi!Steve, Mandalorian!Bucky and bounty!Tony. 

Unsealed Fate - Angsty Stony Soulmate AU

A Private  Performance  - Steve & Tony Music AU

On Tumblr I posted:

Reclamation -  Stony Tattoo artist AU (and alternate version of   CTRL+Z)

Coffee, Tea or Me?  - Stony innuendo-filled Flight Attendant AU

Keeping All My Secrets Safe Tonight -  Stony James Bond-style Spy AU

Potential for Retribution - Bucky POV Wingfic AU - will tie into Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole

Dressing for the Occasion -  Established WinterIron  with mild D/s

Where Will He Be Tomorrow?   - young!Tony self-discovery with help from Natasha

 A Shift in Their Relationship - Established WinterIron shapeshifter AU

Tony Stark’s Pride 101 - WinterIron  Pride fluff

I  have  13 active WIPs  with my  current  deadlines being  the Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse event, the WinterIron Pride Prompt Party  and Choose Your Own Stony Story, all of which wrap up at the end of June.

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Seek & Destroy Collab

After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing   Morguna and the Green Queen, I  got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked  Faustie into   collab’ing with me!  We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve  contributed about 900 words towards the  2500-ish we have so far.   Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.  

Stucky Bingo Round Four [SB_R4] (Ends 31 May 2023)

Thanks to a last minute drabble and the adoptable - I managed an assisted blackout with  twenty-five fills!   Masterpost link 

* I4 - AU: Changed into an Animal - I threw together Avian Avengers - a drabble where the Avengers’ bird forms are revealed - with some being more obvious than others.  It’s a true drabble at 100 words.

Avengers Bingo Round Four [AvB_R4] (Ends 2 June)

Managed a blackout for this  3x3,  card by writing different   pairings for my two favorite Avengers - Tony and Steve.   Masterpost link.

* B2 - Crossover AU –  posted Chapter 8 of my Star Wars fusion Stuckony fic:  Never More to Go Astray.   It came in at 1106 words  and I (hopefully) only have one more chapter to wrap the fic up.  

Stony AUniverse Daily Drabbles & Doodles [Ends 3 Jun]

This fun event  hosted by  @stonyauniverse   presented a week’s worth of AUs that you can then combine with one (or more!) of three prompts to create a drabble or ficlet or a quick sketch.    I was able to write something for each day for a total of just over 1800 words and have been posting them here on Tumblr.  I will eventually be sharing these on Ao3, with the potential of expanding on one or two of them should the Muse cooperate.

Unsealed Fate - an angsty Soulmate AU established Stony ficlet

A Private Performance -  a music AU Stony ficlet - platonic leaning toward romantic

Who’s Oblivious Now?  - a College AU Stony drabble  with bonus WinterHawk mention.

Once Bitten, Not Shy -  Stony Werewolf AU - one night stand leading to more

Reclamation -  Stony Tattoo artist AU (and alternate version of  CTRL+Z)

Coffee, Tea or Me?  - Stony innuendo-filled Flight Attendant AU

Keeping All My Secrets Safe Tonight -  Stony James Bond-style Spy AU

Choose Your Own Stony Story  (CYO_SS] - Ends 29 Jun]

Another fun event hosted by @stonyauniverse​ - this one uses flow charts where you choose a starting point, a genre and a prompt and are then assigned an AU and a  trope to create a fanwork that incorporates all four into a single work.   I was challenged to combine the following:   AU: Med School, Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, and Bathing.   Blind Luck is coming in at 825 words at the moment.  It will will need a bit of  trigger/warning tagging  (cadavers & eye trauma)  but am holding on to it until I get my Tony Stark Bingo card later this month to see if I can incorporate any of those fills as well.  😁

Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse Event (BBE_C4)[ends 30 Jun 2023]

Signed up for this event over at @buckybarnesevents - you get a four-square card featuring ideas for AUs.  The prompts can be used as stand-alones or combined with each other or other events.   Thanks to crossovers, I finished out one card and have a WIP that combines 2 square and an idea to combine the other two. .

* C1 - Interior Designer - combining this with my Gender Swap square for a continuation of  Shifting Alliances  - domestic Bucky/Maria (bonus Peggy/Steve) fic.   This ficlet came in at 639 words and will post by the end of the month.. 

* C2 - Gender Swap  - see above

* C3 - Professor/Student --  Possible continuation of Technicalities  from Bucky’s POV - could combine nicely with my FWB square below. 

* C4 - Friends with Benefits –   I may combine this with my BBB Never the Fall that Kills You square and/or  Professor/Student above.

WinterIron Pride Prompt Party  [WI_PPP]  (Ends 30 Jun)

This is a daily prompt event hosted by the WinterIron Discord server  that will be running all month. I’m shooting to write something for at least half of these and have completed five prompts with Tumblr ficlets  so far:  Day 1: First Meetings = Potential for Retribution;  Day 2: Yearning =  Dressing for the Occasion ; Day 3: Gender Euphoria = Where Will He Be Tomorrow?   Day 4: Dragons are Gay = A Shift in Their Relationship;  Day 5: Fluidity =  Tony Stark’s Pride 101

Hot Bucky Summer [BBE_HBS]  (Ends Aug 30)

Another @buckybarnesevents​  event, this time with weekly smexy prompts.  I’d like to complete at least two fics per month for this challenge. 

Week One:  “What should I wear?” + Collar  - Posted Dressing for the Occasion to Tumblr on the second as a crossover with the WI_PPP  Yearning prompt as well as last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF203 Yes Sir!!] . It came in at 325 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends. 

Week Two:  “What Should I Call You?” + Alpha -   combining this with the ACB June Monthly Mission AU: Sugar Daddy as well as the Knot In My Name Anti-AI A/B/O event    prompts: Sugar Daddy AU.   Tentatively titled  A Sugar-Coated Pill,   up and coming politician  Alpha!Bucky starts a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship with a young omega!Tony.   But both of them have secrets they’re hiding.   It’s up to 637 words and will get posted to Ao3 by the 14th - but may go multi-chapter :: shrug::

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1]  (Ends 30 Sep)

I’ve got twelve completed fics, two WIPs and  will be pursuing the One Fill, One Bingo  Challenge for Row 5.  

* I1 - Mutual Pining - may combine with something on my BBB card - see if the Centerfold fic idea fits in here.

* G1 - Isaiah Bradley -  Planning to add more to The Fist, Defeated.   (possibly present day)

* O3 - Pararescue Sam Wilson - may try to squish this into an expansion of   A Rising Star -  a previous Flash Fiction Friday fill.  

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3]  (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have three fills and one WIP -  I need to work on cross fills between this and the All Caps and Bucky Barnes bingo!

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.

* O2 - Steve Rogers  – see AvB  Dog Tags  above.

WinterIron Bingo  - [WIB_R1]   (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have seven fills completed and three WIP for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod!  Along with crossfilling against my other bingos,  I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes,Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.

* N1 - Bucharest –  I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance -  where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.  

* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB  Volunteering Together square.  

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem  as inspiration?

* ADOPTABLE1 - 1990′s   – picked this to prod me into picking My Love is Vengeance back up.  Chapter 4 is in draft form at  1492 words and will be posted on 6/9; Chapter 5 is in progress at  719 words.   I have some decent notes that should allow me to finish this up in six or seven chapters total.  

Bucky Barnes Bingo  - [BBB_R5]   (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

Am still trying to match up squares to crossfill, but have five fills,  three WIPs and a couple more Vague ideas already.

* B4 - Shapeshifters -  wrote . A Shift in Their Relationship  as a crossover with the WI_PPP prompt Dragons are Gay.  This came in at 404 words and will be posted to Ao3 before this event is over.  

* U2 - Clint Barton/Hawkeye -  Dredged up my year-old Winter Soldier/ young Clint WIP   You Can’t Stop It With a Gun.  Chapter 3 was already in progress and is now up to 548 words.    

* C2 - Yelena Belova –   The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik,  (aka Three Avengers and a Baby) , which is currently sitting at 1100 words (400-ish of which are mine). 

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple -  next chapter of   Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion.    Not quite sure where to take this next at the moment.  😕

* K3 - Magic -  Aro!Bucky sickfic idea?  

* Y2 - [image: IW Bucky with the good hair] Last week’s Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF198 What Comes Next]   was a perfect match for an idea I’d already been playing around with to fill this square.   I banged out Getting Prepared -(updated title = Preparations)   an A:IW missing scene set between the time that T’Challa and Okoye come for Bucky and the moment he sees Steve again.  I will post it to Ao3 sometime in the next month or so.

* Y3 - Alpine  - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

* Y4 - Forgotten Things -   I may use this for Chapter 2 Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole, a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right),   which is current sitting at  52 words.  I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix.  

Warm and Fuzzy Bingo  - [WFB]   (no end date)

I got my card from  @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it  - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* N4 - Affectionate Teasing – I can fill this with Starting Something New , but am going to hold off on posting to Ao3 until the next Tony Stark Bingo round starts.  😁

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

————

On  other creative fronts:  I have an Mothman Stuffed With Character figure in progress. I am prepping for a con in June  so am  pretty well booked up through the middle of this month.

That said, if  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations later in the year, check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 100!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[chloroform-e]

2023 musical discoveries

What I'm grateful for :

Songs

Something to believe (Weyes Blood) : I feel something akin to wonder that this song found me when I needed it, just like Pony Pony Run Run sang about : just a song missing inside you. It's not even the words, really (although I want to start saying "the waters don't really go by me" to every how are you), but mainly the way Weyes Blood sings the chorus. It unlocks a mix of hope and sadness that I find weirdly comforting.

No Woman (Whitney) : Phoenix (maybe my favourite band ever) covered this song years ago, but I never paid attention to it until last summer. I was in a folksy mood and something clicked. There are a dozen tiny moments in this perfect song that make me so happy, that make me want to twirl my arms and dance in the street on my way to work. I focus a lot on lyrics when listening to music, but what moves me the most here are the instrumental phases : the drums and guitar kicking in after "I'm not ready to turn", the guitar solo toward the end.

Artists

Waxahatchee : I first got to know her music through her covers and collabs (the Plains record is brilliant), and I'm still getting into her entire catalog. I'm so glad I discovered Saint Cloud in July (I say "perfect album" a lot, but this one really really deserves it), and that I have all of her records to go through, little by little (and perhaps new music in 2024 ?).

Nation of Language : of course I had to end with them. I still get teary-eyed when watching clips from their live shows on Instagram, wishing I were there. It feels like their songs were made in a lab for me : music that I can dance to, that can make me cry. A song like Sightseer encapsulates all that I love about new-wave : how it's yearning and melancholic, cold and dancing.

[heartsleevemag]

Friday Five

by Vi McDonald

Welcome to this week’s installment of Heartsleeve Magazine’s Friday Five playlist! From up-tempo tracks that’ll make you feel like you’re in an eighties movie, to some of the crunchiest, coolest new rock tunes, here are five songs that kept our blood pumping this week.

1. "Bad At Letting Go" – Leland, MUNA

Danceable and in denial, Leland's "Bad At Letting Go" is replayable in the way that only a MUNA collab can be. Depicting a romance where things have gone wrong but Leland doesn't want anyone to know, it's about burying your emotions but having them bubble up to the surface anyway. MUNA's influence shines especially brightly, from the production to the vocals to the theme of honest avoidance, as they croon in the second verse, "The tears that are slipping right off of my skin, I don't want 'em to sink in."

2. “Welcome to the DCC” — Nothing But Thieves

With a sound that would be perfectly at home in a neon cyberpunk dream, Nothing But Thieves' new eighties-inspired dance track introduces a new world. "Welcome to the DCC" tells of a utopian heaven called Dead Club City where "If you believe it, it can happen." Even though it'll get you moving, the track has a thrumming tension underneath that hints the DCC might be too good to be true. The video suggests this too, with characters getting sucked into the DCC universe through advertisements and entering a world where there's nothing but endless partying and neon lights. "It's almost time for us to open the doors to you," NBT shared as a caption for the music video. What else will Dead Club City have in store?

3. "Just A Girl" - From The Original Series "Yellowjackets" – Florence + The Machine

Florence Welch once said, "You said that rock and roll is dead. But is that just because it has not been resurrected in your image?" And when Florence decides to resurrect a classic like No Doubt's 1995 hit "Just A Girl," in her image, it infuses the track with an ethereal, foreboding energy. Fitting for the psychological horror-drama show Yellowjackets, this track is a spooky, cinematic rock masterpiece. Tense cymbal crashes and uneasy strings crash open into chaotic harmonies over the song's four-minute runtime – this track singlehandedly convinced me to binge Yellowjackets in its entirety before the new season premieres.

4. "SCARING ME" – Cleopatrick

You got me – this one's not a new discovery. More of a rediscovery, "SCARING ME" is the third track on Cleopatrick's 2022 EP, DOOM. After becoming particularly enthralled with (and seriously overplaying) the two opening tracks, "ZUCK," and "OK," I decided to revisit the EP. "SCARING ME" winds down from the heavier sound of the first two tracks, but continues the theme of examining how relationships are affected by modern society, and how the things that we do affect those relationships. The instrumentation is probably the coolest part – after the song went viral, the band shared how it was made on Tiktok, using layered textures and vocals as an instrument. Cleopatrick is "gonna do a coupl shows" – their words, not mine – in the UK this summer. Check 'em out here.

5. "CHOKER" – ROMES

The very definition of a modern rock track with grunge and 90s influences, "CHOKER" showcases the heavier side of Romes' music. "If you've ever felt emotionally strangled, trapped inside your own mind, or felt like there's no way out, just know that someone else is fighting through it too. You're not alone," the band shared on Instagram following the song's release. And it feels that way, lyrics like "I wanna feel what it feels like to exist," holding a raw desperation that feels cathartic and expressive, like this was something the band had to get out in order to keep going.

Listen to the Friday Five playlist and check out last week's additions on our Spotify, and don't forget to follow us so you don't miss the next one!

[marvelmusing]

Billy Russo Masterlist

Last Updated: 22/07/22

My Masterlist

»»---------------------►

SERIES

Introductions • Part 1 • Part 2

Your colleague Dinah suggests a training session at a private firm - Anvil - and you meet the company’s charming CEO.

Love and War • Part 1 • Part 2

You are tasked with eliminating two dangerous fugitives. When the time comes, will you be able to finish the job?

Love Languages • Part 1 • Part 2

A series based on the five love languages, and how each one applies to your relationship with Billy.

Disastrous Dalmatian’s • Part 1 • Part 2

A 101 Dalmatians inspired meet cute. When your dog Pongo falls for a random Dalmatian in Regent’s Park you become acquainted with her owner, Billy Russo.

Guilty of Love • Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3

When the wanted vigilante Billy Russo turns up in your house one night, you’re expecting a fight. After all, you’re the one tasked with bringing him in. What you’re not expecting is for him to be making you dinner. Things only become more and more unexpected from that moment on.

White Picket Fence • Masterlist

Billy and you have to go undercover as a newly married couple in the suburbs, and you’re certain your house is bugged so it’s 24/7 of you two acting like a married couple.

Trials & Tribulations

Also known as The Trials & Tribulations of Billy’s Long Suffering Marketing Director - a social media AU, featuring CEO!Billy Russo.

Don’t Blame Me • Part 1 • Part 2 • Drabble

You’re the only one who will love and appreciate Billy exactly the way he is, and you will do anything to prove that to him - even if that means keeping him locked up in your spare room.

The Chelsea & Jess Dumb!Reader Universe Collab

His Best Kept Secret • Duplicate • Ineptitude • Off to the Races •

In the Dark • Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3

You wake in a strange bed, in a strange room, and are startled to find a pair of dark eyes watching you. Featuring dark elf!Billy.

The Other Side • Masterlist

After the events of The Punisher (season one) Billy Russo stakes his claim on New York, quickly establishing himself as a force to be reckoned with amongst the city’s criminal underworld. When you get assigned to an undercover operation that seeks to take down Russo, a conflict of interest occurs. You may or may not be falling for him?

Building Blocks & Daisy Chains • Coffee & Collisions

Whilst babysitting your nephew in the park, you bump into Karen, a friend of yours, and she introduces you to Billy Russo.

Puzzle Pieces • Part 1 • Part 2

Frank and Billy took down Rawlins together but now you all have to deal with the aftermath. Billy’s mind is more fractured than the scars on his face, and the pieces of your own life are crumbling under the weight. Will the two of you ever assemble the jigsaw?

ONESHOTS

NSFW Alphabet

Comfort Character

Billy comes to your apartment in need of some TLC.

His Smile

Agent Madani expresses too much interest in your boyfriend for your liking. Billy unknowingly provides you with a reminder that he’s yours.

Good Boy [18+]

You make a discovery about your boyfriend, Billy Russo.

Partition [18+]

You and Billy have some fun in the car on the way home from a gala.

Sweetness

Billy Russo loves all things sweet, but you take up a particular spot in his heart.

Valentine’s Day

You and Billy both plan some last minute surprises for your first Valentine’s Day together.

Waiting

You’ll always wait for Billy, and he’ll always come home to you.

Barber Shop

You give Billy’s beard a trim, giving him the opportunity to think over how lucky he is to have you.

Birthday Boy

You plan to give Billy the best birthday ever.

Doodles

As Billy’s assistant, you sit in on client meetings with him, and this afternoon is particularly boring for you both.

Surprise [18+]

You have a surprise for Billy, which he discovers sooner than you had anticipated.

Hunted [18+]

As part of a training exercise with Anvil, you’re tasked with remaining hidden in the city for an entire week. When Billy tracks you down on the last night he decides to teach you a lesson.

New Tie [18+]

You buy Billy a special gift to show him who he belongs to.

Imagine [18+]

You ask your one of your friends, Billy Russo, to take your virginity. Billy is more than happy to oblige.

Crosshairs [18+]

After a few months of stalking Billy, you make the decision to curb your obsession, believing that he deserves better than you. Billy doesn’t agree.

A Little Revenge [18+]

Operation Cerberus was covered up, leaving Billy and the rest of his unit with blood on their hands and no place in the world. You decide to give a little power back to Billy.

Early Morning

After a hard week at work, you’re exhausted, and Billy insists you take a break.

Rescue Mission

During a disastrous blind date you reach out to your best friend Billy, and he offers to come to your rescue.

Bonded [18+]

The hunting season begins and Billy tracks down his future mate.

Fresh Ink

After having a few friends around for drinks at your apartment, you and Billy have a talk about his tattoos.

Monthly Comfort

You’re on your period, and Billy wants nothing more than to make you feel better.

A Night Out [18+]

Vampire!Billy takes you to a local feeding club, and you let him drink from you.

Back in Time

With you by his side, Billy returns to the fire station in Albany where his mom left him as a baby.

Shower Thoughts

The past comes back to haunt you and Billy during your holiday, and the following altercation takes a toll on Billy.

Distracted [18+]

You become a distraction when Billy is attempting to finish his work for the night.

Balance Between Forces

A Star Wars AU. You can’t explain the pull you feel towards the Sith Lord, Darth Russoti. No matter where he is, you can always find him.

Hair Salon

You have a short haircut and you decide to recreate the famous Russo slicked back look with your own hair.

Experiment [18+]

You ask to try something new with Billy.

Perfect Remedy [18+]

Billy has had a long day at work, luckily he knows exactly what he needs to de-stress - and it starts with you on your knees.

Sleeping Beauty [18+]

After a long week, Billy decides to take care of you while you sleep.

Rough Day [18+]

After a long day at work, you know exactly what Billy needs to relax.

Gonna Find You

Your husband has been kidnapped, and you plan to find him yourself.

Never Hurts to Dream

Featuring Singer!Reader. Lisa deems Billy her ‘cool uncle’ meaning that he’s the only adult allowed to take her and her friends to their first concert.

New Year Celebrations

How you spend New Year's eve with Billy.

Blood in the Water

When Billy goes to get the paperwork for your new life together, Agent Madani pays you a visit.

Take Over

It’s fair to say that the Russo case has taken over your life. But maybe you’re okay with that.

Twisted Games

Billy loves to play games, and with his advantages as a vampire, he always wins.

A Marriage of Sins [18+]

When you hear of a demon living in an abandoned church in the woods, you know you need to investigate. But how could you know that the demon was just your soulmate waiting to marry you?

The Twins • Reinforcements

Featuring William ‘Billy’ Russo & Jonathan ‘Jonny’ Russo the co-CEOs of Anvil Security.

Misbehaviour [18+]

Billy takes you to one of his favourite restaurants, but you can’t seem to behave how he wants you to.

DRABBLES

Cam Boy!Billy

God of Love!Billy

FU in my Head

Personal Trainer!Billy

Mamma Mia AU

Single Dad CEO!Billy

His Dark Materials AU

Vampire!Billy

Scream AU

Sleeping with a Ghost

MOODBOARDS

Moodboard Masterlist here

[dourpeep]

The Chalk Prince

Summary: Between the lines of his existence, lies a story. But above all, Albedo is most thankful that he has found his happily ever after. Contains: Albedo x gn!Reader, fluff, papa Albedo A/Note: for @xiaosmoon Valentine's Day collab, day 21, "kissing them while they're asleep." I had a lot of fun thinking of what to write for this, but the idea of making it like one of those fairytale kisses where the prince kisses their fated lover and everything just suddenly seems to be good won out-

Long before the Mondstadt of today existed, there was once a lonely boy whose eyes shone of seaglass and had hair spun of the finest flaxen thread. Born of the earth and the dreams of a lost nation, he set out with his master, his mother and creator to discover more about life.

He was little more than a child then, unsure of the world and its secrets, eager to discover more but every new experience making him cower. Yet with this apprehension, he took each step in calculated pride.

‘The true nature of this land will unfold as you move on, ■■■■■■.’

He didn’t quite understand what it was she meant at the time, instead offering a wide-eyed look and the nod of his head.

The art of creation and the transmutation of the world surrounding.

To be able to take something—a dying branch from a tree, a delicate butterfly—and transform it into something entirely new. An opportunity to take what little life gives and make it into something more.

So the boy dove into his studies, to his master’s delight

With every new discovery shutting away the loneliness, the boy bloomed and grew in skill and curiosity.

There was a time, long after he first was created, that he and his master set foot on the grounds of a great mountain shrouded in chilling winds and ice. ‘A promise.’ She said, staring out at the bleak landscape as he leafed through the few notes he took. She told him, that day on the mountain, that she knew he would achieve more than he could imagine.

-

Albedo’s thoughts were taken the moment his pen plucked from his grasp.

“What’s today’s date?”

His brow creases, lip turning down into a small frown. Surely, it hasn’t been that long since? Between his research and side project, he’s ensured to keep track of his meals, breaks, as well as any notable events.

So, he answers, only to be met with a tap to his nose and an exasperated sigh from his lover.

“You’ve been here since Tuesday, Bedo—it’s Friday morning, come home and rest, please?” You press a kiss to his temple, smoothing out a few stray hairs. They stick right back up. “You’ve done enough work to last a whole month, at least.”

…Perhaps those few power naps he took weren’t naps after all.

“Papa!!”

Upon his return home, a little voice speaks up.

Bright and just as interested in Teyvat as Albedo himself. Colm tugs on his father’s coat, prodding at him with questions about some weed picked out from between the stones of the cobbled road, asking him if he liked the cream cake you slipped him between experiments. Each little inquiry was met with a smile and finally followed by the gentle pressure of his lips to his child’s forehead.

“Mm, yes, the cake was just as delicious as you said it’d be.” To his delight, there was another piece tucked away safe for later.

“We can share!”

But, as all things tend to be, there was a time and a place for everything.

The little pout of Colm’s lip tugs at his heart, Albedo’s resolve only crumbling a bit before he shakes his head. He soothes it by hugging him tightly.

“How about we share it tomorrow for breakfast? Then we can start the day off properly.”

The bribe seems to work well enough, so long as he tells a story before bed.

Nighttime routines seem to go by quick. Teeth brushed, pajamas on, and worn rabbit tucked in beside his son, Albedo finally sits on the edge of the bed. Twin eyes of brilliant green stare back at him.

And with that, Albedo tells his story.

By the time he has fallen asleep, the moon peeks above the rooftops. With Mond quiet for the night, all that’s left is a last second check of the locks before bed. They secure with a click, gently illuminated by candlelight.

With a single exhale the light is extinguished, dousing the house in the dark.

-

You look so peaceful, near ethereal with the moonlight shining through the thin curtains and illuminating your face in a gentle light.

But Albedo couldn’t seem to bring himself to move closer. After all, this is the kind of thing that princes do—rescuing their fated lover from an indefinite sleep, braving the dangers to risk it all in the name of a love that they’ve never known before, the pursuit of a happy end.

Not him, aside from his namesake, not an alchemist from the city of Freedom.

His mind drifts back to that half-written draft.

It isn’t until after a moment longer of watching you sleep at peace that he leans in.

Lips touch in the gentlest brush, savoring the softness of yours, the familiar feeling. In his chest he can feel the way his heart flutters and rejoices. He finds himself retreating all too soon. Through half-lidded eyes, Albedo takes in the sight of you, your lips parted gently and features soft, serene.

You lay still. With every breath, your chest rises and falls, a steady rhythm.

“Hm.”

He shifts, careful as he adjusts his position until he has you snugly in his arms.

Though his life is nothing like the fairy tales that he tells his son, Albedo rests peacefully with the fact that he has found his happy ending.

[provisionalsparkle]

The Boy Next Door

Reader x Bang Chan (Stray Kids)

[Genre] exes-to-lovers au, smut, angst.

[Word count] 6.7K

[Warnings] Smut. Angst. Unprotected sex, voyeurism, ample description of bodily fluids.

[Note] This is my contribution to @feliix ’s Summer 2 Lovers collab! Check it out!

Summer.

The season of fun and sun, careless joy, long days and warm nights…

For most people.

For you, this summer is about change. It’s about the little town you used to live in, the quaint house you grew up in, the smell of your mother’s cooking or the breeze from the yard, the sound of younger kids playing in the street. It’s about the big city you will go to live in, it’s purple and orange twilight skies, black silhouettes reaching toward the skies beginning to twinkle with golden lights, the noises of the traffic coming from evening bustle, the scent of the delis and restaurants that line the streets.

You were stuck between these two places, university having been a four year long limbo of boundless sex mislabeled as self-discovery, and now visit your home one last time, reminding yourself of the life you had there before moving on to another.

You think of the past with nostalgia, yet also with a restlessness that makes you want to run from everything. The stillness, the silence, the unchanging landscape in this little town is too unbearable, too unsettling. But it’s familiar, and it’s comfortable. The life you’ll soon live promises excitement, autonomy, it’s the adulthood you’ve fantasized about. It terrifies you too, and you have these horrible dreams about missing the payment of the most insignificant bill and having the entire world collapse on you because of it. You still don’t know how to do your taxes.

College is over, a new life awaits you in a big city after landing a rather ideal job, but it felt like you were leaving things behind. Funny how, after so many years of fantasizing about this grown-up life you suddenly felt like a lost child, scared to forgo the familiar.

It’s these sort of almost-quarter-life-crisis thoughts that fill your mind on a particularly warm afternoon. You’re indecently splayed out on a couch with as little clothing as possible, the door to the backyard is wide open, letting an occasional breeze waft in to disrupt the stifling stillness of the heat. The lights are off, and you were too unbothered to turn them on as the sun set, preferring to stare at a darkening ceiling as the evening sky turned purple.

There’s a familiar jingle of keys from the front door.

“Honey? You home?”

“I’m here, Mom.” You lazily answer back. She wanders from the hall to the living room, you can feel the judgemental look she gives you.

“Have you been laying like this all day?”, indignation lines her voice. Was it so surprising to find you like this?

“Yeah…”

“You can’t just lay here all day. Go out! Get some sun! Go play with those kids you used to hang out with from school!”

“I can’t Ma, I’d rather just plank here.”

“Oh goodness, Y/n. Give me one good reason you shouldn’t go hang out with them!”

“I’ll give you two: either they grew up to be total bitches or they had kids and became a bore.”

“I didn’t become a bore when I had you!” She exclaims, although it’s not too serious and some playfulness hides beneath the surface.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re a cool mom. They don’t make those anymore.”

“Hmm… well, I think you should make a bit of an effort.”

“Mom… it’s my last vacation you know -”

“You know what?!” She suddenly exclaims, her voice brightening like a lightbulb just radiated in her thoughts. “Mrs. Carson’s son is here with her for the summer too! I bet you haven’t seen him in ages, and he’s gotten so handsome.”

“Mrs. Carson?” You didn’t have any clue who that was.

“Well… you might remember her as Mrs. Bang, but Jane changed her name when she married Norbert a few years ago. She still lives next door and Christopher’s in town spending the summer with his mother.”

Bang…

Christopher…

You hadn’t heard that name in years. It surprised you a bit actually, and a hint of a smile came to your lips.

“Yeah, yeah, Mom… I’ll think about it.”

You wouldn’t admit… something did grab your attention. A curiosity of sorts.

You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. He was a short boy with a kind smile, a bit awkward really, but you had a fondness for him. It wasn’t about looks at all, all boys at that age were hideous and nothing would change your opinion on that, but you’d swoon whenever you saw him. It was mutual, an icky teenage infatuation that had your friends poking fun at both of you whenever you’d become giddy at the sight of one another. Hot faces, nervous glances, trembling innocent touches.

He sat next to you in chemistry and you’d hold hands under the lab table while the teacher gave class. His left hand always felt soft in your right one. Cute. It’s a bit silly but you’re glad you had that sort of adorable and silly romance. While it lasted, that is.

Christopher wasn’t a bad guy. He was stupid, like all boys that age.

When you saw him kissing another girl, of course you cried, but you knew it had to do with him being stupid more than anything. This simple looking girl that you had been friends with in elementary school, you can’t even remember her name.

You know why he did it, beyond his stupidity. Your mom had let it slip long before - you knew it was coming.

“Honey, would you believe? Mr. and Mrs. Bang are divorcing!” Probably just some hot gossip from one of her PTA yoga groups, no ill intention on your behalf. She didn’t know you were seeing Christopher - over your dead body. You were fifteen and a horrible student, you didn’t need to give your mother yet another element to ground you with.

“Oh no…” You acted as normally as you could, your first thoughts went out to Christopher first though. “Do you know why?”

“Well… I’m obviously not going to ask, duh! But I do know that Mr. Bang is taking the kid with him abroad.” What?! What did she just say? Chis is WHAT?!

“I - uh, what?” Act normal, act normal, act normal.

“Aww… sweetie, was he your friend?” Goodness, parents can be so oblivious, but it’s beneficial in this case. She doesn’t pick up on the depression of your mood.

“I guess.” A sniffle is about to threaten your composure so, in your teenage arrogance, you leave before your mother can see your teary eyes.

The subsequent days were strange. You expected Christopher to tell you the news, you expected to comfort him, you expected to live out the rest of your young romance as best as you could. And then… you saw him.

And he said nothing. He was cold, pushed you away. He must be going through a lot of pain, you thought. More days went by and he still said nothing, and his demeanor grew worse, no affection, no smiles. He must be having a hard time, you reasoned.

Sometimes you thought he was on the verge of saying something to you, like he was about to say something and the words threatened to come out but he’d suddenly pull away and swallow them. You didn’t question it really, it was so confusing but you just went with it.

You never held his hand in chemistry again.

Time made you realize that Christopher didn’t want to be with you anymore. You weren’t sure if it was because he stopped liking you, and that hurt a little, but you knew what he was going through, and you stood by him in case he ever chose to open up and cry on your shoulder. You’d be there for him.

When he kissed that girl, it didn’t really surprise you. Damn it, what was her name? You cried, you thought it was because you were ugly and your boobs were still pretty small - stupid reasons.

It took a few months for you to understand the real reason.

He left without saying goodbye. You never spoke to him after he kissed what’s-her-name. Maybe he tried to do so a couple of times, but you ran away or didn’t let him. Or maybe you remembered it that way to comfort you, just so you’d live with the thought that he tried to apologize, tired to make things right.

But the fact of the matter is he didn’t speak to you and he didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to say goodbye because it hurt.

He was trying to ruin your relationship so you’d break up with him and he wouldn’t have to say goodbye, so that he could kill the feelings you had for him to spare you from the pain of his departure.

Or maybe you were just imagining it like that to make it a cuter memory and think about it fondly.

Maybe in the end, Christopher was just a horny teenage boy that cheated on you. Maybe.

Regardless, you giggle as you think back on the silliness of it all, and how serious and life altering it all felt in your childishness. It seemed so long ago, so distant, and you were so changed that it felt like it had all happened to a different person. You wondered about the man next door, and the entirely different boy who had once been next door. What kind of person had Christopher become?

University did you well. It was four solid years of irresponsible drinking and uninhibited sexual exploration paired with relatively easy academics. You don’t know how it happened, but it had been like a transformation from one day to the next.

You, sort of, kind of, absolutely plain and normal girl that no one would notice lest you stepped in their line of sight. One day, there you were - normal.

Two weeks in - boom. Confident. Your roommate was an okayish girl, another plain one. Then you started noticing how comfortable you were undressing in front of her, to change clothes or whatever, as if it was the most normal thing in the world - which it was. Wearing shorts and skirts became less of a worry, just something that felt better. Sometimes you’d be thrown icky glances from some boys, which you hated, but others were acceptably flirty and you loved those. The best ones were the boys that would get shy and who would quickly whip their heads the other way once you caught them staring.

That definitely flipped the switch. It made you feel strong, it made you feel damn good. You, who at the most had dipped a finger into the world of heavy makeouts during high school, now became a seasoned seductress of all kinds of men. So long as you could wrap them around your finger with your demeanor, so long as you could prowl over them and take the lead.

Ah… the good old days.

What was going to happen now, though? Four years later, no slightly inexperienced men left to be wowed. Everyone you knew was turning into a bland and bitter office worker. Was this the end of it?

To think that you’d be ending this glorious chapter of your life in this tiny town, lounging on the same stuffy couch in the same hot living room every day, having your routine philosophical melodrama where you’d stare at the ceiling in the afternoons until your mother came in inquiring if you were alive. It was a terrible fate.

A few days after the revelation of Christopher’s presence, which you would never admit had been circling your mind nonstop, your mother returns with another piece of information.

“You know, Jane and Norbert are having a get together of sorts next Saturday - just the usuals from the block.”

“Is that so?” You said with disinterest.

“In fact, I borrowed a baking pan from her last week… why don’t you go over and give it back to her for me? She might need it, and you probably haven’t left this house in days.” You didn’t reply, but you could feel her eyes on you, waiting for you to obey.

“Fine…”

The afternoon was enjoyably fresh, although your white t-shirt stuck to you like a second skin, the bikini top you wore underneath tracing its silhouette into the cotton. You lazily stomped your way to the house next door, admiring the tall window where you had snuck into Christopher’s room a couple of times during your short romance. A ladder was perched up against the exterior toward that window, they must have been fixing things up. The porch was full of cans of paint, tools, boxes. It was only when you rang on the doorbell, begrudgingly holding the large tray, that you realized that Jane might not be the one to open the door but instead it could be -

The door swings open and you gasp. Christopher.

Well… his face hadn’t changed much. But he was slightly taller than you remembered, far more masculine, oh, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Yeah, he was shirtless… jeans hanging low on his hips… shirtless… abs… fit waist… arms…

“Hi! Is Jane home?” Good… pretend you don’t remember him.

“I - Uh… no, my mom’s actually out right now.” He replied. His voice had grown deeper, and where did he get that accent? Wait - did he not remember you? Now, that just made you angry, but you wouldn’t let it show.

“Oh, well… my mother wanted me to return this.” You say handing him the tray, avoiding trailing your eyes downward.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll give it to her.” He says. He seems a little frozen, an expression between surprise and caution lingers on his face, but you don’t know if it’s good or bad.

There’s a moment of silence where you just stare at each other.

“Y/n…” He finally says. There’s hesitation in the way he says your name. He’s scared, not of you, but he’s scared about the fact that you’re on his doorstep.

You don’t say anything, calmly, almost coyly, waiting for him to continue. You’d gotten rather good at pretending you were calm, and the slightest tint of a smile painted your lips so you wouldn’t seem cold or ingenuine.

“Do you remember me?” He asks. You can’t help but huff, a tiny laughter really.

“Of course. You know, you haven’t grown much taller.”

With those slightly playful words, you turn to walk back to your home, and with each step your impression of the encounter with your childhood love became more bitter and less sweet.

It was strange how you thought about him, about it. The situation, that is. Seeing him, talking to him, both of you now being older. A few days of thinking now.

You don’t know why you thought about it so much, but you thought about it. You thought about it without knowing how you felt about it or what you thought about it. This man you had only gotten a glimpse of, too overwhelmed to take in his features properly, now walks around your mind freely. He wasn’t the boy you knew. He wasn’t the boy next door whose hand you’d once hold in chemistry, who you’d kiss before turning the corner towards both of your homes. The boy who left all those years ago.

No, it wasn’t that boy. It was that man, who kept perturbing you. What did you feel? Interest? Yes, there was something quite intriguing about all of this which sparked your curiosity. Lust? Of course, absolutely, the man next door looked divine. Suppose you could abstract the person from his body, so that you wouldn’t be so bothered by who he was and what he meant to you, and you’d easily bend over in front of him and invite him in.

You supposed a conversation was in place, though, because after all, he was still the Christopher. You couldn’t just go around fucking people like that anymore - unfortunately. That was something you got away with in college. It’s a shame college boys grow up to be boring men, sex gets more boring, they think they have all the authority… Maybe you should go back to school.

You’re sitting on the windowsill of your second floor bedroom, one leg hanging out and stepping onto the roof. Opposite to your window, beyond a neat shrub, is the window of the guest room of Mrs. Carson, formerly Bang, which seems unchanged from when you last saw it. You remember watching her from your room, also unchanged, using the TV in there to do some aerobics she followed along from a VHS… was it a VHS? No, that’s the machine. What were the things you used to put in the VHS? A cassette? No… regardless, eventually she must have started using DVD’s.

Damn it, it all seemed like thousands of years ago.

Damn it, you were still so melodramatic throwing around words like poetry over some Richard Simmons tape. Aha! It’s a tape!

Your crotch is being dug into by the window frame, and you let your weight rest on it, the slight grind tempting you to have a round of masturbation. But you’ll finish the cigarette you stole from your mother first. It tasted awful, it was another adult thing you couldn’t understand. Why did everyone at university smoke so much? It was just another thing their eager teenage selves did to emulate the adults in grown-up world, to feel a little more grown-up. Who the hell likes this stuff?

But you liked watching it burn, occasionally inhaling its airy and bitter smoke. It wasn’t your preferred type of smore. You preferred watching papers and matches burn, their sweet and rich smell, the warmth of the fire that would sting the edges of your fingers. Shame your mother only used a lighter, you didn’t like the smell of that fire either.

You just surrendered to watching the bright tip of the cigarette and the white streams that came from it.

“You know those are bad for you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” You exclaimed, your heart nearly jumping out from your chest. A man had sprung out from the window in the guest room of the Carson house, formerly Bang, and that man was Christopher Bang himself.

“Sorry I didn’t -”

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack - what the hell?!”

“ - mean to startle you…”

“Damn it, Christopher!”

“Ah! So you do remember me?” He says with a bit of joy, but you just look at him, realizing that this is where the talk will come. His features grow a little more somber. He continues, “So… I guess I -”

“Where’d you get the accent?” You interrupt, genuinely curious. “You sound like the crocodile hunter.”

“Well… I was living in Australia with my dad.” He says it in a normal tone, but you make sure it doesn’t stay normal.

“Oh, so that’s where you went?” You both wince at what you just said. Yep, it’s finally time for that talk.

There’s a bit of silence, but you’ll let him be the one to fill it.

“I…” He sighs deeply. Uuhh… it’s quite a masculine sigh. “I didn’t know you’d be here. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again but I… there’s something I’ve always wanted to say.”

“I’m listening…” You say. It’s a flat tone, but it’s funny. You hope it’ll ease him.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Some silence again, “I’m sorry for being an ass, I’m sorry for cheating on you -”

“Chris, we were like fifteen… you kissed a girl with braces, big deal.” You waved it off. Really, kissing that girl didn’t bother you so much, now almost ten years later.

“I left without saying anything.”

“Yeah, you did. Hard to not notice.”

“I was - I know it’s not an excuse, but I was going through a lot and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“So you left without saying anything?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok… we haven’t spoken in years. I practically forgot about it.” No you didn’t.

“Did you?” He says. Was he hopeful when you insinuated he hadn’t hurt you as much as he thought he had?

“No, not really. I mean, yeah, you kissing another girl was pretty insignificant, we were just kids. It did hurt that you left without… I don’t know… There wasn’t any closure. There wasn’t a goodbye. I felt confused for a while, I guess.”

“I’m so sorry about that. But my parents were splitting up, I was going to have to leave everything behind. You were the first girl I loved and I was going to have to say goodbye and I couldn’t handle it. I was too hurt and embarrassed to even tell my friends. I wish I had done it differently.”

“Yeah, I wish you had too. I wanted to be there for you, you know? I wanted to hug you, hold your hand, tell you it was going to be ok.

“I really messed up there…”

“It’s okay Chris, you were just a kid. We were just kids.” You offer your sympathy but he doesn’t soften.

“Mhmm. Doesn’t make me feel less guilty about it.”

“Can I ask you something?” He nods, “Did you do all that stuff… you know, treat me that way, for real or where you…?”

“I was hoping you’d break up with me, get over me. That way we wouldn’t have to say goodbye and we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“I got hurt.” You admit.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” You insist. “It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re old and grown and fine. All of that’s in the past, I can’t blame you for acting like a kid. It’s okay.”

“Well I can agree with you there. We did grow up, not kids anymore.”

“You didn’t grow that much.” You laugh, he laughs too.

“You certainly did.” He’s being flirty. It could have been bad timing, but the mood felt right.

“Oh, you noticed?”

“Hard not to.” Goodness was he being direct. “You were really cute back in school, I had a crush on you for like, forever.”

“Really…Plain old me?”

“Really. And now here we are and I think I could have a crush on you all over again.”

“So you can go off and kiss another girl with braces and leave the continent?”

“No, I’m a one woman man.” He says while making himself comfortable on his own ledge. It’s getting comfortable overall, like you’re talking to someone you’ve known for the longest time, like a decade of separation didn’t do much harm.

“Well, well. And who is that lucky woman now?”

“There’s no one at the moment. I’m in the middle of some life changes.”

“Do tell.”

“I’m moving back. Well, not here, just in the country again. A big city, big job, kinda scary.”

“Seems we’re on the same boat. I just came back to say goodbye to this place forever and I’m ooout.”

“Did you finish school already?”

“Yeah… I wish I hadn’t though.” You think back on your experience with longing, lamenting it’s end.

“Wow, can’t relate. I couldn’t wait for it to end. What’d you miss about it?”

“Well, I didn’t have to work, grades were good and easy. And I guess, it was tons of fun.”

“How so?”

“Being on a campus full of horny and stupid guys - it was open game.” Chan hisses at your admission.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for that type.” He chuckles, “You would stutter for like the first two months we went out.”

“We were just kids.”

“I guess we were…”

Another comfortable silence as you stare off at the sky, your cigarette burnt through with only the spongy bud left to pinch.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m single too, you know.”

It might have been a bad idea, you said it on impulse after all, something quite instinctive having taken over you. Maybe you were just horny and Christopher was just hot, regardless, the conversation was over. Before he could even process what you said, and the implications to it, you had already slipped back into your darkened room and out of his sight.

Chan felt like a teenager again. Not in a good way.

Chan remembered your first kiss, holding your hand. He remembered your breasts being the first he had ever really noticed, your legs being the first he ever caressed. He remembers how you’d press your bodies together while you kissed, not really understanding what both of you felt, only understanding the urgency of it.

Now he can name those feelings, the ones that once belonged to an inexperienced boy, merely dipping his toes into the surface of that world. But now that he dove, and had dived into its waters several times, he knew how to swim in them.

Yet, seeing you made him feel like he didn’t. It made him feel like he couldn’t swim, like he couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was drowning.

The first moment he saw you on his doorstep he felt his stomach drop, a pang of guilt that had lingered on his mind during countless of sleepless nights hitting him with full force. He didn’t expect it. He thought he would never see you again.

And after taking another look, a longer look, it was like he was swimming in completely different waters. He felt submerged, and he didn’t know which way was up. He wanted to open his mouth and swallow it all up, let you drown him.

He hadn’t felt this raging feeling since he was a teenager. He certainly hadn’t had a specific woman make him feel like this until you.

It made him feel another kind of guilt. Shame even.

The following days he’d watch you, shamefully. His mother had him painting the house and when he stood on the rooftops he took his time to enjoy the view of you swimming in your pool, wearing tiny bikinis that stuck to your skin and showed the buds of your niples and the lines of your labia through the fabric. He would admit, shamefully, that he stopped watching from the roof because he needed to get closer to see these beautiful details.

He now watched you from over the fence in his backyard. Getting incredibly hard watching you swim, watching you oil your body down.

It was all horribly, horribly shameful.

But weren’t you the one that mentioned you were single? It had caught him off guard. He was being cheeky in that moment, but he didn’t know what waters he was testing then. Now he knew, and it was making him behave so, so shamefully.

Should he go over there, push you into a corner of the pool and pull your bottoms to the side? Should he kneel at your feet while your rubbing yourself with that golden oil, and beg you to let him fuck you?

It wasn’t just the thought of sex that drove him mad, it was you in general. How inferior he felt in front of you, like he had to prove himself. Every day he worked shirtless, hoping you’d get a glimpse of him, but you were just so unbothered by it all.

It was driving him fucking insane.

If only you knew.

Except - of course you did. Of course you did. This is what you craved, what you were best at. Driving boys, technically men but boys sounds tastier, to be absolute slaves to their desire for you. Christopher wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it. Did he really think that you would suddenly spend every day swimming in the tiniest bikinis after having not left your couch for over a week? They really are such stupid, fuckable animals.

And Chris was particularly fuckable.

Day four of his perverted project, he was hammering away at some boards in the back porch of his house. Your mother wouldn’t be home for hours, his parents were away for a couple of days.

Everything was perfect.

“Chris?!” You call loudly over the fence from your chaise lounge, carelessly flipping through a book. The hammering stopped, he had heard you. “Chris, it’s hot today. Don’t you think you should come over for a swim to cool down?”

Why on earth were you acting so damn unbothered and confident, he thought. Why on earth were you asking him over?

It’s only a matter of time before he circles his own house and slides in through the gate on your end. He’s still wearing jeans and a utility belt, gloves too. No shirt.

“You can’t really swim in those, take them off.” You hardly peered at him from over your sunglasses. He was just standing there, frozen. That’s usually a sign that you’re working your magic well. Good. “Come on Christopher, take them off.”

“I - uh, I’m actually not wearing trunks right now. Uhm… I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, you don’t have to go.” Insert unbothered page flip. “Why don’t you just undress and get in the pool so I can join you?”

“W-what?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He genuinely thought he had imagined it, maybe all of his hornyness was driving him insane.

“Christopher!” You whine. “You’re ruining the fun!” You slam the book shut and throw it over to the side, taking your sunglasses and hat off. “Chris, I think it’s obvious. Do you think I haven’t noticed you being a peeping tom for the past half week? Look! You’ve already got a tent in your pants and everything!”

“Fuck.” Shit, you were right.

“This is like, hmm, like an open invitation to fuck me.” You say with an eye roll, but your eyes roll toward his abs because they are absolutely distracting you.

“Are… are you serious?”

“Well… You want to, I want to. You’re nice, look like you’ve become quite a decent man - and I’m not just referring to your physique Chris. Maybe, just maybe, it would be an excellent idea if we finally fucked this tension away.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. You’re here for a few weeks, so am I. Why not enjoy each other while we can? After that we can just go our separate ways, just like before except we’ll end it on good terms.”

Too many points for him to argue with - you were right on all of them. He couldn’t disagree. In fact, he eagerly agreed. Little did he know you had this pitch rehearsed to perfection, to your benefit, because he seemed to be completely subdued by it.

“Fuck.” He mutters under his breath. Fumbling with his belt, zipper, exposing the line of his abdomen down to his hardening cock. A fat, heavy cock that swung between his muscular thighs. He was fully nude now, standing in front of you, his tan skin glistening in the sunlight. You’re quick to urge him over with a finger.

He pounces, but once he’s crawling over you on that narrow chair, he becomes slow.

“Hi.” You manage to whimper out, now feeling a bit small beneath him, feeling nervous even.

“Hey.” He’s just as nervous but there’s an energy that goes beyond either of your wills pulling you toward one another.

He kisses you. It’s a kiss you melt into, and he sinks his body against yours, with you spreading your legs so he can slot between them. His cock rests against your lower abdomen, his body pressing further into you.

You can’t help but slide your hand between your two bodies in an attempt to finger yourself, prepare yourself, but he stops you and pulls back.

“No.” He growls.

“No?” Is he going to leave you like this?!

“Let me.”

And you do. Chan lowers himself, adjusting you so he can easily bend over the chair while kneeling on the ground, and his hands shake as he dips the tip of his fingers into the hem of your bottoms, just slightly tugging at the material, playing with it before he starts to play with you. You’ve got the perfect view of him basically drooling over you.

He slides the bottoms to the side, but you pull at the strings at your hips, so they come undone and he pulls them away completely. Your lips and the juices coming from between them are just as glossy than your oiled skin.

He can’t help but dig in. Fucking you with his mouth, jamming his fingers in you. It’s an animalistic frenzy and it’s hot and slippery and sticky. You cum and your fluids spill over the impermeable cushion below, pooling under your ass. He can see every sparkling droplet fall from you.

It’s just a haze, he nearly jumps on you, bending your legs nearly over your head, bouncing his pelvis on your cunt like a trampoline, smacking with every thrust. You’re completely glued to one another. If he’s not abusing your mouth with his tongue then he’s biting on your shoulder or grunting, growling, into your ear. It’s filthy. You’re absolutely sure you’ve never been fucked like this.

He cums, several times, as do you. He pulls out each time, jerks himself off on your body, although a couple of times you urged him into your mouth and face. He pulls the triangles on your top to the sides, so your breasts are exposed. He made sure to cum on those too. Semen, sweat, squirt, oil, spit, everywhere there are droplets of your fluids shining on your body like jewels.

It ends with him lying on top of you, nearly sleeping from exhaustion, and your lips feel deliciously sore and sensitive, almost ticklish as he softens inside of you.

It happens again. Several times in fact. Many, many times. When his parents are away, when your mom is away, you fuck all the time. Just a little call of his name over the fence or from your window and he’d be running to you. You were too comfortable with one another to bother with formalities, it was like you’d never been separated. You’d wait for him on all fours, wet cunt on display for him to dive in, but he’d always greet you with a gentle kiss.

Fucking each others faces, drinking eachothers fluids. You even let him fuck you in the ass, multiple times, and he was the first guy to make you cum that way. You were just as hooked and as desperate as he was.

Things started to change though.

The welcoming kisses became longer, you’d talk between the rounds…

You’d fall asleep in his arms, or he in yours.

You’d fuck slowly, deeply, staring into each other’s eyes.

You’d talk to him, tell each other stories of all these years, asi if you had been together the entire time.

You’d smile as you made love, gently. You’d let him cum inside of you.

He’d hold your hand again. They were as soft and warm as you remembered.

You were holding his hand on one particular pink evening, your head resting on his heaving chest, teaching circles into his pecs and nipples. On your bed, in your quiet childhood room. It was a painful silence now. It had been weeks, weeks closer to your respective departure dates.

“I wish I had never left.” He eventually says. You don’t know what to say. “I wish we could have stayed like this for longer.”

“Maybe we would have broken up eventually, or left for college.” You ponder.

“Maybe I would have taken you to prom, or we would have had sex together for the first time…” He returns.

“On this bed? Hmm? With my cute school uniform?” You tease. “Yeah, maybe.”

“But I guess this is what was meant to be.” He sighs, as do you.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can say.

“What for?”

“I don’t know, I just feel bad. I started this and now we have to go our separate ways again.” You feel something sting in your eye. You can’t cry now.

“Shh…” He coos as he hears you sniffle and feels you twitch. It makes his heart ache like it did all those years ago when he left.

“I - I…” You cry. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to go.”

He pulls you into his arms, crushing you in an embrace. Your eyes are closed but you feel the tears fall from his face, he’s crying too.

“I know… but what else can we do?”

There was nothing left to do, other than fuck the days away, crying, holding each other until it hurt. It was a horrible, horrible thing to have fallen in love with Christopher Bang this final summer.

You didn’t go with him to the airport. You didn’t want to say goodbye, you didn’t want to see where he was going.

But he did slip into your room that final night. You made love quietly, he kissed you as you cried.

He said it was the second time he loved you, and the second time he had to leave you.

It hurt much more this time around. Maybe you shouldn’t have done it, maybe you shouldn’t have gone next door.

Being in your house was unbearable once Chris wasn’t next door.

A week later, you’ve arrived at your new place. It had been a whirlwind and you stayed at a hotel the first couple of nights while your new furniture got brought in, most of your personal belongings only fitting in a couple of bags.

It’s kept you busy. That way you think about him a little less. Crying into pillows that have that certain ‘brand new’ smell isn’t quite as comforting as you’d expect. Everything seems unfamiliar, strange, artificial. Nothing here reminded you of him - it was for the best and you hated it.

The place is nice, bright. It’s on the third floor of a small apartment building, a couple of other doors beside yours in the hall. You go downstairs to grab a few packages that have arrived, carefully treading up the stairs in a kind of balancing act once they’re piled in your arms. It’s a choreography you can dance to with expertise, always denying any help from your neighbors.

However, you do fumble with the lock and handle once you’re at your door, holding the boxes up by pressing them against the door with your body as your hands blindly fumble with the keys, nothing but cardboard in your sight.

Nothing you can’t handle, until they start to slip.

“Woah, let me help you with that!” someone says behind you, and in your complicated state it’s a bit difficult to process what happens but the boxes are soon out of the way, said someone pulling them from you and freeing you.

And then you see him.

Him.

Your him.

He says your name and you’re too stunned to react. He’s in awe too. He drops your packages, and you’re certain some of them contain some makeup palettes but you don’t give a damn at the moment.

“What are you doing here?” You finally ask, frozen in place.

“I… live in 304.” He says.

“You live in 304?” He nods. “You? You’re serious?” He nods again, eyes still wide.

You both stand there, processing it all. This can’t be real.

“I live in 302.” you manage to say, after some time. Your voice is weak, all the air has left your lungs. You shake.

“You do?” He asks. Now you nod.

This can’t be.

But he cups your face, holds it like you’re precious and delicate, he kisses you. It is real. You kiss him back, harder. Eventually you’re both clinging to one another, gripping each other’s clothes desperately.

“You live here.” He says, little tears sparkling in the corner of his eyes. You nod, the same tears coming to you.

“I do. Mm-hmm.” The sniffles you let out seem so sweet to him, he swoons with how happy you are to see him. Knowing you feel the same joy he does - it makes him feel complete.

“I live here too!” He cries, laughing, smiling, beautifully.

One more kiss, just to make sure it’s real. You pull him in and kiss him one more time.

It’s real.