#the last image is supposed to be McCoy but it could be either him or Jim tbh

[t0ast-ghost]

Some tomfoolery on my part

Quite happy with Spock’s necklace thingy that was somewhat inspired by the necklace in the second chapter of this fic (warning: nsfw)

[yamithediaperdork]

Wolverine and the diaper boys part two

Jamie was chowing down on a bowl of Cap'n crunch when Bobby came down to the kitchen, walking a little weird. While Bobby was in a pair of tan baggy cargo pants and a blue t-shirt with a white strip in the middle, Jamie had the misfortune to realize he hadn't gotten his landry done like he had been suppose to and ergo was stuck in a pair of his yellow sponge bob shorts with a light blue shirt that had a teddy bear on it. Needless to say he'd already been teased about it by Kitty and rouge, though Jean had come to his rescue. Still this had long day all over it and he'd be glad to go and get it all over with as quick as possible. Bobby took a seat next to him and gave him a smile and nod, making Jamie blush and because he was thinking of the night before, that HAD to be why he was smelling baby powder. "interesting attire choice." Bobby commented. "I uh..forgot to get landry done and this is ALL I have left. I already asked ms.Storm about staying home but she told me it was my own fault and to deal with it." Jamie whined, huffing a little. "You know, if you 'accidentally' pours your milk on yourself when you go to drink the rest out of the bowl, and that's ALL you got to wear..they can't send you to school in your undies." Bobby pointed out and winked. "Hey! That's a-" Jamie started, but got cut off by Mr. Mccoy. The Mutant known as The Beast while 'working' so to speak, but just as Hank or Mr. Mccoy to the students had walked in, wearing his lab coat and getting a cup of coffee, and having over heard the boy's conversation. "Very bad idea." he said, chuckling. "And I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it..as long as it's not acted upon." Making his coffee beast paused, and sniffed the air then smirked at the two boys, thankfully the only ones in the room and then walked off, going to work on whatever project currently was holding his attention. "..Well i tried." Bobby said after Beast left. "It WAS a good idea." Jamie agreed, then as he finished his cereal, he was careful to try and not spill any..and still got some on his shirt. "heh, maybe you need a bib." Bobby teased playfully, only to get a glare from Jamie. "Ok..ok.. not funny. I'm sorry." Bobby said, finishing up his own bowl of sugar crisp. "Darn right!" with the boys washing out their dishes, there was just something about the way that Bobby was walking that was bugging Jamie, but the little guy just couldn't figure it out and gave up. "Wanna walk to school together?" he asked. "I don't see why not." Bobby agreed.

Little did Jamie know Bobby was ALL to happy to walk with the little dork who could take the blame for the scent of baby powder that hung around him, since Logan had gone a little over board. Logan of course claimed he's hand had 'slipped' while sprinkling it on, but Bobby had a sneaking feeling that the Canadian was just having too much fun with this whole thing. Still the semi waddle to school had gone off without too much fuss, Jamie had been going on and on about some silly cartoon and got really over excited about it, and Bobby had agreed to watch a episode of it to get him to shut up about it. 'the hell is a Paw patrol anyways?' Bobby wondered, but brushed it out of his head as he split ways with Jamie. getting to his locker he started to load up his backpack when his eyes caught his schedule for the day, and a wave of dread flooded over him. he'd totally forgotten about it till now, but he had gym class for last period. which meant he'd have to get changed into his school issued gym shorts and top..in a locker room with the other guys. and he was in a fucking diaper. 'I'm so screwed!' Bobby mentally wailed, and banged his head on the door of his locker as Ray came over, raising a eyebrow. "Yooooou ok man?" His roomie asked him. "Don't tell me you forgot to study for the math test today." "..That's today!?!" Bobby whined and silently looked up, wondering just what he had done to piss off the almighty.

Jamie huffed, three times already he'd been stopped and asked if he was lost, the elementary school was across the the street. Twice from other classmates who had been of course taking shots at his clothes, and worse, the third time by a new teacher who was just honestly trying to be helpful, and had said sorry when Jamie huffed he was in the 6th grade and even took out his student ID card to prove it. things didn't get better as the morning went on, between first and second period the class bully had managed to get a pinch of itching powder down the back of Jamie's shorts, and had gotten rid of the proof so Jamie couldn't get him in trouble. The side effect meant while it wasn't unbearable, he was squirming lots and looked like a fussy toddler, or a little boy who had to go to the bathroom. (and in fact his third period teacher called him over to his desk to ask if he needed the hall pass before he had a accident) finally it was 4th period and gym class, and Jamie was able to switch out of his itchy shorts though he got a lot of flack over his PJ mask briefs, despite what he was packing in them. "Doesn't matter what your packing if your too much of a toddler to use it." A freckle faced red head named Todd said, smirking. "yeah well even if you know how to use it, it doesn't matter if all you have is a tooth pick." Jamie shot back, and instantly realized he shouldn't of. since he wasn't allowed to use his powers at school, and Todd had a good foot on him and at least 30 pounds, Jamie wasn't exactly gonna win any fights. and even as the other boys laughed, Todd's face flushed with embarrassment and anger. "Care to repeat that short stuff?" he growled. "..Not really..Uh..Sorry?" Jamie squeaked. "Todd man, let it go..it was a good come back and if you get in one more fight your expelled." Anther boy called over. "..You watch your mouth." Todd huffed and shoved past Jamie, knocking him into the wall and leaving him alone to finish changing. "..Just anther glorious day in the life of a X-Man." he muttered softly to himself.

Bobby was sure he'd flunked the test, a combination of not having studied for it and being paranoid the who times everyone knew he was padded. the only reason he wasn't in a constant flop sweat was a by product of his ice based powers as he waddled from class to class, positive every time he heard a laugh or a giggle in the halls it was directed his way. The fact that a end of the day exposure laid at his feet wasn't helping and he was getting tummy cramps off and on and felt his bladder twitching lots, though he didn't DARE go to the boys room to relive himself. That was all he needed, a random kick in of a stall door (Toad was known to do that sorta thing for shits and giggles, though it had mostly toned down after Duncan had stuffed him head first in a toilet) and him with his diapies on display for everyone to see the big baby. the mental image filled Bobby with dread and unwanted arousal and he found himself desperately directing mental commands to his little soldier to stand down, but atlas, he was at a age where it had a mind of it's own. 'can't believe I'm about to say this, but thank god I'm not hung.' He had one hope, that when Logan came to check on him (and Bobby didn't doubt he would, the Canadian loved to follow though on his threats) Bobby would explain the situation out to him and hopefully get person to get out of the diaper. Failing at that, Bobby's plan B was to freeze the entire gym class for the duration of the period. Ok, it wasn't a good plan but it beat plan C, melt into a puddle from sheer humiliation. 'Come onnnn plan A.'

Logan noticed the time and headed for the door,walking out on the card game he and the other teachers had been playing despite the fact he was winning, Making storm give him a look. "Got somewhere better to be?" she asked, raising a eyebrow and hoping he wasn't headed to a bar this early in the day. The professor had of course banned all alcoholic beverages on the ground after some of the students had gotten into Logan's beer. "Yeahhh following though on a punishment I had to dish out." Logan said and smirked. "Don't worry, I'm saving my drinking for the weekend." "..Logan this doesn't have anything to do with how Bobby was semi waddling this morning does it?" She asked, crossing her arms. "Heh, it might. and before you get all high and mighty, at least I let him wear big kid clothes on the outside. Sides, you should be thrilled I'm following up on my duties here and not going out for some brewskis. just no pleasing you some days." Logan chuckled and winked, then walked out. "..I honestly don't get what Charles likes about him." She signed in a low voice, turning her attention back to the game and back to hank. "Ours is not to ask, ours is but to do. by the way, I win." The furry teach said, laying out his hand. "of course you do." Storm said dryly, toying with making a rain cloud appear over Hank's head then recalling how wet fur smelled.

After spending the better part of the free gym period being pelted 'accidentally' by balls thanks to Todd, Jamie was tired, sore and grumpy. not helping matters was the fact someone (read Todd) had stuck Jamie's shorts in a sink and soaked them..and Jamie HAD to return the gym shorts to the gym locker so they could be washed. Which mean he had two choices, walk around in his undies, or walk around in wet shorts. either way it wasn't appealing and he covered himself in a towel to go and whine to the gym teacher about it. Of course having NO proof it was Todd who had soaked them, the teacher couldn't punish him, and he wasn't willing to let Jamie use the gym shorts. the tone of his voice made it clear that he more or less believed that Jamie had wet himself, and had dunked the shorts in a sink to avoid being busted, though he mentioned he'd call home and see if someone at the Xavier institute could bring him some dry clothing. 'Great. just great. Mr. Logan is gonna think i wet myself and show up waving a diaper around! I bet he brings that stupid satchel of his and has diapers in it too!' Jamie huffed and fumed, stomping his way back to the locker room and tugging the shorts up. someone had tried to be nice and dry them with a hair dryer, but this had just resulted the legs getting semi dry and making it look even more so like he had wet himself. as he marched down the halls to grab his bagged lunch and go wait outside, he could see the amusement looks and heard the laughter and whispers, his ears burning. Of course what Jamie didn't know was put off by the brats attuide, stomping out of his office..the gym teacher 'forgot' to call the mansion.

Bobby was rocking back and forth in chem lab, his bladder twinges were a full on tidal wave just waiting to happen and his normal lab partner was thankfully out for the day. Still, working on a chemical solution that had to drip slowly over and over again when his own 'chemical solution' was begging to come out wasn't doing the Iceman any good. He thought about trying to do that old rhyme about crossing his legs but he was already getting weird looks from the station next to his and just flashed a weak smile. 'Almost end of class. almost end of class. you can make it! you're a X-man! you don't take shit from anyone! you..your..your wetting yourself.' He mentally cheered himself on, before realizing that despite his best efforts, the front of his diaper was indeed rapidly filling with piss. with was only the noise of all the lab equipment that was covering up the hiss and the soft crackle of the diaper as it bloated out, and Bobby snuck a look down and suppressed a groan (and a moan of relief at that from the bliss of finally going) as the diaper was starting to show, at least if you knew to look for it while he was sitting, getting up off the stool he was on, he could feel the hot piss slosh down and start to soak between his legs and even up the back of the diaper and for the first time he started to worry about leaking. 'Jesus what am I? a camel!?' he thought as he tried to will the flow to stop, "Mr Drake, if you would like to come back from whatever day dream is holding your attention, maybe you'd like to answer my question." Barked the old crone who ran the class, bitter at being called back to teach after the old chem lab teacher had disappeared (the school hadn't exactly been informed Mr. Mccoy had had a second mutation, since they hadn't know he'd had a first one to begin with.) "Y-Yes ma'am!" Bobby squeaked out, the flow slowing there there was totally some wetness on the sides of his legs. "what was the question?" "The question was-" the crone started, but was cut off by the lunch bell ringing. "oh who cares. get out of here, all of you." she said and hobbled off to her desk. saved by the bell, Bobby was torn between rushing out or waiting for the rest of the class to leave, his diaper had ballooned out and he was scared to put too much pressure on it, less he make it leak worse. if he could get the classroom mostly cleared, with everyone distracted he could maybe at least freeze the sodden padding. "Is there something I can help you with Mr.drake?" The crone said, suddenly a few feet away and a wicked grin on her face that had him gulping. most of the other students had cleared out, and knowing her penance for handing out extra homework, those few remaining didn't stay for long. "I..I..No ma'am. I just..um.." Bobby squeaked, his voice sounding higher the Jamie's at the moment. "mmmhmm.. I know a soggy bottom when i see one young man. I watch after my ingrate son's brats enough and not one of them potty trained despite the oldest being six." she said wagging a finger and smirking. "I'm not in a diaper!" Bobby said a little bit too quick and she cackled. "well, this explains why you were so distracted. did baby bobby bring a diapie change to school." this..was NOT the kind of attention he had pictured and Bobby's less then stellar boyhood was getting even smaller. "I..I don't." he babbled."It's..not a..I..see.." "Well spoken. well i can't let you go out in the hall's, your going to spring a leak." the crone said and jabbed at the puffy padding with a glass mixing stick, indeed making a wet spot appear on his pants. "I'll go and head for my lunch..and shut the door behind me. there's a plastic bag in the top drawer of my desk..just take the soggy padding out with you..BABY bobby." she said and cackled again before hobbling her way out, shutting off the light and the door on her way out. "..Why couldn't of this happened during history class?" Bobby whined out loud, thinking of how cute THAT teacher was.

Logan pulled up to the school and parked his bike, Nodding to a few of the other kids from the school who were a little bit shocked to see him there. He had his satchel over one shoulder with a couple of diapers and wipes in it, planing on changing Bobby if he needed it, or double diapering him if he was going around commando. "awww, the babysitter he's to check on the babies~" came a mocking tone from Lance, and Logan turned to see the brother hood standing there smirking. They clearly weren't TOO worried about Logan since it was school hours and with him as a adult, attacking teenagers..well it could only make the Xavier institute look bad. Still he gave them a grin and smirked. "Just because Mystique stopped wiping your noses and kissing your boo boo's better, doesn't mean you have to be jealous lance. i'm sure you'll find someone to read you a bed time story." Logan shot back, Making the geomancer blush and huff and go raise a hand. "Careful bub, you SURE you wanna pick a fight? if I'm just defending myself.." Logan said and he had a glint in his eye. "..Tch whatever. not even worth the effort. come on, let's go get something to eat. Oh, and Logan? one of your boy's pissed his pants." Lance said, turning away and leading the other mutants to their house. "..wait what?"

having gotten the soggy padding off and cleaning himself up as best he could, Bobby could tell he had a few damp spots on his pants but there was nothing he could really do about THOSE. he got the paper towel he'd used and the soaked padding in the plastic bag and tied it up tight, then put it in the back of his book bag. he had of course toyed with tossing it in the trash can in the room, but the thought of someone finding it wasn't all that fun to think about. And plus he wanted to show Logan WHY he wasn't wearing his diaper when he'd be checking in on him. with THAT in mind Bobby made his way out of the chem class, with a semi bounce in his step, feeling lighter and faster now that he wasn't crinkling and waddling from his huggies. he made his way to the front of the school, Planing on meeting up with Logan outside and spotted Jamie looking grumpy on the steps..and in soaked shorts. 'Ouch, guess I'm not the only one the tinkle fairy visited.' Bobby thought, feeling bad for Jamie and was about to over and comfort him when Jamie got up and dashed off. Following Jamie's gaze/the direction he was running off too, Bobby spotted Logan and smiled a little. 'Awww, must be happy Logan's here to save the day.' he thought, then the yelling started. "I'M NOT A BABY!" Jamie screamed, getting everyone's attention. '...or not.'

Logan was shocked to see Jamie coming up to him with soaked pants, but a quick whiff let him know it was JUST water, even if Jamie had tried to soak them he'd of been able to get a whiff of the urine. "Listen squirt I-" Logan tried to start but Jamie cut him off, clearly having had had a BAD day and thinking Logan was there to pamper him. "So either give me the dry pants or don't, I didn't pee my pants, and I don't need a stupid night time diaper!" Jamie screamed and stomped a foot. "Squirt, you need to calm down, I'm not hear for you, I'm just checking in on Bobby an-" Logan said, well aware of how many students just heard Jamie admit he wore diapers at night. With speed Logan hadn't expected, Jamie reached into the satchel and tugged out one of the bulky diapers and waved it around. "oh right! like this is just for Bobby! Don't lie to me! I know you think I'm just a big dumb..baby.." As Jamie waved the diaper around in the air, he turned to see Bobby who was frozen in place, and not by his powers, who was blushing badly and had started to wet himself. "Oh..uh.." Jamie gulped..and then also seemed to realize what all he had just said and that some of the students were recording him with their phones. (Diaper boy has a public meltdown would be trending world wide before the school day was over) His cheeks burned and he gulped looking around, then turns back to Logan with a sheepish grin on his face. "I..I kinda..just..really..messed up.." He said..trying to keep a smile on his face as the weight of what he had just done hit him. As the laughter and hoots started up Jamie whined and buried his face in Logan's side, even as a loud poot escaped and whether it was from nerves, some food not setting right, or just his big boy mind going bye bye for awhile, Jamie's shorts and undies started to puff out in the back as he filled them. Not to be outdone with his break down, Bobby took off running, his pants soaked and having left a smelly puddle on the steps of the school, bawling too and wailing "MR. LOGAN!" and soon was hugging the other side of Logan. Signing and patting both boys back, and wishing he'd had a clothespin for his nose, he let both little guys cry it out.

It was clear in the aftermath that neither boy was in any shape to stay at school. even if he took them home for a change, they would of been too mortified and too out of it for lack of a better term to go home. the problem there though was that his bike could only fit at best one of them, and there was no way he was leaving one of the little guys here alone. it was only the intimidating presence of Logan that was keeping the taunts and teasing long range, and Logan knew even if Chuck got to the students and wiped their minds, the video proof was already out there. 'the marvels of the internet.' Logan thought dryly. The solution to his problem soon appeared as Scott made his way over, with Jean  and Kurt trailing behind. "Jeez what happened here?" Scott asked, holding his nose, but looking concerned. "Long story. Look, Give me the keys to your car, I need to get these two home." Logan said. Scott hesitated, looking at the soaked pants of Bobby, and then the baseball sized lump of brown in the back and the wetness in the front of Jamie's shorts. "it's..not that I don't feel for them, but I just had the seats redone an-" Scott started, and Logan gave him a glare that would of made the hulk flinch. "I mean ok..but..how am I getting home from school?" Scott said Meekly, fishing out his keys. Logan took the car keys and handed over the keys to his motorcycle. "If you bang it up, your dead." Logan said then lead the sniffling and whimpering boys off, they were both sucking their thumb now and had sadly for Logan wiped their noses on his shirt. before getting them in Scott's car Logan did decided to be a little nice..to both Scott and the boys, and get them changed. "Alright guys, lay down." He said gently, pointing to the ground. "Y-Y-Your not..gonna..here?" Bobby whimpered, pulling his thumb out. "We're mostly hidden by the cars and those icky pants and shorts CAN'T feel good." Logan said. Jamie was already on the ground, any and all fight out of him and kept his thumb in his mouth, though he'd scrunched up his face when he'd sat down. "i..I'm not wearing my diapie Mr. Logan." Bobby said as he slowly got down. "B-But it's cuz I soaked it and it was gonna leak!" he added quickly. "heh..then that's ok Little Bobby. you just let me get you guys alll cleaned up. Jamie, do you mind if I get Bobby changed first? he's gonna be a quick clean up." Logan said, giving Bobby a warm smile then turning his attention to Jamie. the little guy just shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'your the boss apple sauce' and kicked his legs a little, looking up at the cloud. 'ho boy..Chuck's gonna have to take a look at them after this.' Logan thought and got to work.

The brotherhood was coming back from doing a dash and grab at a local convince store, handing the snacks they'd looted back and forth though Fred (AKA the Blob) unsurprisingly was hogging most of them. they were cutting though the parking lot when a rotten smell hit them and three of the four boys turned to glare at Fred. "Really man? no warning or anything?" Toad whined, tugging his shirt up over his nose. "If it was me, you'd be dead." Fred growled. Pietro chose to say himself and went to dash off to escape the smell, but came back in a half a second, laughing. "oh my god! you guys are NOT gonna believe this! and Fred, your in the clear." he said, then lead the way. the evil teens made their way though the cars and were greeted wit the site of Bobby drake, sitting on his ass and sucking on his thumb in a t-shirt and childish diaper..while Jamie madrox had just finished getting his poopie backside wiped down and was being taped into anther one of the diapers. Lance couldn't tear his eyes away from how loving and caring Logan was as he looked after the two big babies, and then got them both buckled into the back seat of Summer's car. "Bwhahahaha! their X-babies! X-babies!" Toad laughed. "oh man, Dad's NEVER gonna believe this!" Pietro hooted. "ugh, man, what a stink! gonna make me lose my lunch..just gross right lance?" Fred asked. "..yeah..uh..disgusting." lance said. what he was thinking as he watched Logan use a trash back to gather up the clothes and toss them in the trunk before driving off with the two little guys though, was hope much he wanted to be one of them.

[hunterbahamut]

Today’s story is one I’m calling ‘Transformer’.

There’s more to this than meets the eye. I hope you enjoy!

--

Zech stood in front of the time chamber nervously, feeling the power radiating from his gauntlet.  This was it, it was time for his final trip back through time. He would never be able to save his father from the errors of his ancestors.

In that moment, a familiar voice boomed from his head. "My son, are you ready to enter the time chamber?"

"Yes, yes... I'm glad you're here, Eblan."

"I would like to have a word with you before you enter. When we last left, you were more than ready to enter the time chamber. However, you overlooked one crucial fact. The Destiny Ascension Program is now complete.”

Zech frowned and let out a sigh of frustration. "That's exactly the problem, the program was never meant to be."  He looked down, "How many lives did we loose already?  They were never meant to be involved, and you know it."

"Let them out, Zel, it's not like the Volturi will know what hit them. "

Zech held his hands out, "I don't want any more suffering, not from this place, not from our soldiers either."

Zesh rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to be done about this, as long as we don't find any more information, this place won't respond in kind to the Volturi."

"Yeah. I know. We've just been trapped in this cycle for so long now."  He sighed out, "I want things to go back to the way they were before.  I miss them all, especially Nova."  He shook his head, "You can't change my mind, I have to go back."

--

"I know." The nurse on duty got up and passed a small red pouch to the Wasp. "Thanks Nova." She bowed to the Wasp, then turned to the beaten Martian and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Don't let them get you down, buddy." The Martian nodded to her. "She's right."

Now that the doctor had gone, Nova had begun to really notice the problems.   Oh. It was definitely her fault.

Everything was going just fine until another explosion rocked the building.

As the dust settled Zech and Lon chose a shortcut, heading back to the lobby. They quickly noticed that Harry had disappeared and Lon collapsed to the floor, shaking. He looked at the cage, thinking it was the most likely explanation. Zech stepped outside, looking for his friend. Things were getting worse, it was hard to keep any thing coherent; Nova, Lon, Harry, Sparks, so many people he thought he knew only to be forgotten or disappearing. This was getting worse, and he knew he had to fix it.  And to fix that, he had to find either the team or Ezskar. 

"This has to stop!" Jobe said, upset, but trying not to look so hopeless. "A lot of people are putting a lot of trust in you, but I want to know you're going to keep your word. I have done some research, I don't know what you're doing, but you have to know that you're hurting a lot of people if you've let something like this happen."

"I know..." Zech said, "Too many people have been hurt by all of this." He looked back to Jobe, "You know that I've always kept my word.  I am going to fix this, one way or another.  You just have to trust me.  I have to find find Wart or Ezskar first before Trask or the others do."

Rody thought about this for a moment, "I suppose, but I hope you don't give up."

Zech shook his head, "No, not yet, boss."

Rody chuckled, "Well, we'll see."

--Chapter 7--

"What are you doing, Zech?"

"Looking for Ezskar." He said, checking his scanner. "He's close, but so is Nova, Trask -and- Sparks.  He let out a sigh, "This is getting out of hand, if I don't get that time device back, then nothing will make sense anymore!"

With a flick of his wrist, Jayne's X-COM helmet twitched, and he smiled. "Oxygen converter." he said, showing it to McCoy. "Alright, this ought to be good enough." He turned around and pointed his knife at the scanner. "Auspex locator." he said, and waved the device over. The device beeped, and Jayne pulled back his hood.

Zech blinked in confusion for a moment. "Uh, yeah...something like that." He sighed, "Alright, you guys take care of that, I'm going in after the pink terror."  He didn't wait for any kind of response, instead he just threw his arm out, teleporting out of the room and into the street; what was left of Union main square.  If he remembered it right, this was the epicenter of it all.   Nodding to himself, he simply charged forward through the center of the square, where his tail extended forward and lowered to touch a street lamp. As it closed in on him, all the signals for the various Villagers came to life.

"Great, the supposed hero appears."  The all-too-familiar voice of the pink mutant sneered.  Ezskar stood on the remains of the central monument and looked over to Zech. "How many more times must we go through this?  How many more times will you be plucked out of time to face me here?"  

"As many times as it takes!"  Zech shot back, "You don't know what kind of damage you're doing!"

Ezskar attacked, causing a shimmering sphere of energy to form and began firing a laser array at Zech. It was only a matter of time before Zech's energy shield was cut off and he was done for.

Zech charged into laser, pushing his shield out as much as he could before he broke and dashed to the side, letting the laser explode behind him. He threw his arm out, teleporting closer to Ezskar before firing a bolt of magical energy.  "This ends now!"  He shouted, "Give up!" He picked up a bladed weapon and slammed it into Ezskar's shield. "Great!" As the two charged, Zech flicked his wrist and the laser disappeared. He was quick and nimble. Ezskar couldn't use his weapon while his shield was up, and he would just get slammed into the wall if he tried.

"You time-hopping freak!"  Ezskar yelled out before he fell back, dropping the shield and raising the weapon up, aiming for the hybrid. This was his chance; Zech teleported out of view, reappearing behind Ezskar and raising his gauntlet up, energy charging up before he released it.

He felt the blast pass through the back of his shield. With a loud crack, Ezskar's armor and his core began to cool as the drones assimilated his form. Ezskar screamed as he felt a bright beam fly towards his head and slice open his helmet, leaving him with his other eye showing. Ezskar fell to his knees and gasped in pain.

Zech raised his gauntlet and aimed it at the weapon, unleashing an energy tether to grab hold and yank it back to him. "Got it!"  He cried out, "Now to put an end to it once and for all!"  He reached into the weapon's core and yanked out a blue crystal as it glowed and sparked with very familiar energy.  He had to destroy it, and hopefully this will all be put to an end. The mysterious energy caused his blood to heat up and he started to sweat. The jet black suit looked as if it was coated with at least thirty years of ash, and the single pale finger on the right hand was similar to the fading image of Darkstalker- whatever he was.

Zech held the crystal in his gauntlet and started to charge up his own energy; causing the ground and air around him the shake and vibrate.  Time energy creating a paradox like this was dangerous, and he had no way of knowing if this would restore everything, or destroy everything.  But it had to be better than this. As Time energy, he summoned up the holographic arms, showing himself pulling on each one of them, changing their material form as he went, until he finally got a long metallic straight line stretching from where the crystal should be to his hand. Time broke into three pieces in his hand. He flipped the crystal, leaving it in the air. Suddenly, the ground began to tear apart and come to life; energy spilled out from the cracks as the time shards began to reform.  Everything around the hybrid began to distort and fade away as the timeline was reforged.  He felt the pain shoot through him as he started to become consumed into the distortion wave as well.

"God..." he gasped with his voice as he continued to be dragged into the past. God's eyes widened as the myriad of terrible thoughts crossed his mind. The most haunting thing about being a Time Lord is the moment you realize how far behind you are in time. I could've sworn they were slowing down by the second. "Dumbledore." God breathed heavily, his thin lips wriggling with sadism. "The universe is a pain."

--

There was a heavy amount of silence for a few moments before Phineas spoke up. "What the hell was that?!"

The video ended and the lights came back on.  The members of the team had the most confused, flabbergasted or concerned looks on their faces.

"What the hell was that?!" Phineas said again, "What kind of bizarre trash was this?  'Based on a true story' my aching ass!"

Nix sighed, "I was willing to give them some slack, this feels like it was written by a bad AI program or something."

Sparks looked flustered, the end of his smoothie straw all crunched up from his chewing. "They got me all wrong! I don't act like that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!"

"They make me look totally stiff and humorless." Tero said with his arms crossed.

"Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on."  Phin snorted, "But the script writers thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time!"

Tero shot him a glare. "You tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics."

"I know!"

Nix shook her had, "Can you imagine how Wart or Ezskar would react if they would see this?"

Phineas couldn't help but let out a laugh, "I'd actually pay good money to see that!"

Zech meanwhile was sunk down in his seat, his hood covering his head as he wished he could sneak out of there.  This was embarrassing to say the least.  "That...wasn't a good movie."

Nix sighed. "I'll say."

"No kidding." Phin grumbled.

Tero snorted.  "Horrible."

"But the effects were decent!"  Sparks said.

--

--

--

ATUHOR’S NOSE: Hey everyone, Happy April Fools!

So this was a very strange idea I had and wanted to play with.  Some of this story was written by me, but the rest was written using ‘Talk to Transformer’, a kind of computer AI network that finished story prompts you put in.  After watching the madness from Vinny and Joel of Vinesauce when they played with it, I thought this would be perfect for an April Fools story.

As for the ending...yeah, it’s from Avatar: The Last Airbender. It only seemed appropriate.

As ever with these, the story is not in canon with Team Prototype or the AU stories of mine. This was just a little experiment in some madness.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I wrote this a while ago (4 months?) . Sorry it’s so long, but that’s the drawback of insomnia and no one to gush about a movie to...

Short verson? Unexpectedly I really liked an obscure old western called To the Last Man, basically because the romance at it’s center really connected with me. 

It’s interesting when a movie takes you by surprise.

I’ve been watching a a DVD set Pop fished out of a $5 bin a very long time ago. It’s one of those “20 movies crammed onto two discs, and how watchable the image and sound are doesn’t matter” kind of things. And geez, some of these look horrible. In the case of one movie there were times I couldn’t even tell which character was on screen. These are the sort of churned out discs where the just throw whatever they can get a hold of onto it, quality be damned.

 Not being a huge western fan, and having recently endured a similar set of early John Wayne films Pop had * I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Still, it was the last of the unwatched movie DVDs so I figured I might as well play them.

Turns out they have been a facinating variety of westerns, covering at least 40 years. For instance one film was a a spaghetti western that actually involved a circus ** and a film next to it was a pilot to a 1970s tv show set in 1914 with the heroes traveling the west in a car. 

Which leads me to the biggest surprise so far, a barely movie length film from 1933 called To the Last Man. 

Now I went into it expecting very little. It was one of those movies so short it wouldn’t be considered feature length now, a western staring Randolph Scott who always seems to fade from my memory as soon as I finish a film. *** Even after it started it seemed to be a Hatfield and McCoy style family fued migrating west, with an already old fashioned silent era quirk of putting the names of the character and actor on screen when they first appeared. And then they added a Romeo and Juliet to the story…

Again I had low expectations, When they introduced the girl, daughter of the baddie family, I thought I knew exactly where it was going. Once out west the girl is a bronco busting, sometimes trouser wearing despite being the 19th century, kind of gal. I liked her, which made me dread the romance ahead.

See stories have traditionally had problems with romances involving  non-traditional women. 

In some stories the woman will be there for the fella, saving his life or something like that, but whatever affections he may have for her the love will be unrequited. Sometimes she dies, sometimes she gets a supporting character love interest, but always the hero goes off with the traditional princess type girl.

 In the stories where there is dainty, aloof beauty for the hero to moon over instead, they go a different route. Those are the stories where women are tamed. The hero often mocks and teases the woman for her non-traditional ways, even outright bullying her and accusing her of not being a “real” woman. She goes through an awkward phase of attempting to be properly feminine, to humorous effect, before eventually transforming into what a woman is “supposed’ to be for the love of her man.

I hate those, both of them. With the first,  I find myself grumbling the gal is to good for him if he cares more about a proper bit of styling and pretty face than courage or kindness. With the second, it’s even worse. Love does NOT demand that the person you love deny their nature and remake themselves to satisfy your tastes. If they have to change into something else to earn your love then you don’t love them at all. 

Anyway, I was sure how this was gonna go, especially with references in the conversation between the father and his thug pal about her wildness. This was gonna be a taming. I liked her as she was, and they were going to break her…

But I was wrong! 

The initial “meet cute” involved her swimming (naked…it was1933) and being harrassed by the thug until the hero rides up and intervened. When afterwards they chatted I was surprised. Sure it was flirty and established their attraction, but in more authentic way than I expected. When he refered to her as a lady and she assumed he was mocking her, in most movies there would be truth in her belief. But not here. To be honest I was as thrown as she was by his sincerity.

Later she talked to one of her father’s men, trying to figure out how a lady would dress because she wanted to dress that way before heading out to find the hero. I thought, “oh no, here it comes”, but again I was wrong. The conversation was sweet as the guy used his mother as an example and offered to help the girl go shopping, only to have her say she couldn’t wait that long. The hero would be camping for the night nearby, so she would have to go find him wearing her usual ratty clothes. She did NOT do the comedy attempt to fancy up!

And then we get to the campfire scene.

They may have met while she was swimming, but he has a body too. She surprises him as he shirtlessly shaves, so there is a bit of admiring the male form, complete with her saying she would think he was “soft” (for shaving so often in her rough world) if it weren’t for the fact she could see his strong arms. Even now too many movies don’t do something as simple as this: Let the man be physically admired by the woman.

During their conversation after he dresses, for all her attraction she is also self conscious of her rough around the edges appearance. When he notes her bare feet must find the mountains painful, she is defensive, expecting it to be a slight. But he quickly reassures her that no insult was meant, and it’s true. He didn’t. Not once in that scene, or in any scene, did he ever belittle her or tell her that she is somehow wrong for being herself.

When he was ready to say goodnight she announces she is staying. While she does tell him he must treat her “like a man” for the night, it’s still a woman boldly telling a man she’s spending the night with him whatever ended up happening after the fade out.

Now next morning she fixes him breakfast. In most movies this would either be the comical “non-traditional woman inept at proper womanly skills” or it would be the “non-traditional woman embraces properly womanly role because of love”. It was neither. She fixed him breakfast, an affectionate gesture to be sure,  but no fuss was made of it. She cooked it skillfuly and he didn’t seem astonished. It was just….breakfast.

Naturally as they are now head over heels for each other, this is when they find out each other’s family names, with the expected emotional turmoil. Now you would expect a few hostile scenes between them before they get over the whole feud thing, but they actually get over it quickly. By the time he buys gifts for his reunion with his family, he buys one more gift for her. And sure, when he leaves it where she can find it she at first angrily tosses it in the fire…before fishing it out. The fact is they are still in love, family war or not.  

About that gift..yes, it is a dress, but it doesn’t feel like a judgement or a nudge but a gift given with love of something she desires. He doesn’t know that when her father got out of prison he commented on her shabby dress,which she explained was her only dress after the hard life she’d had to live. He does know she was self conscious about the dress she wore when they met. It feels like a thoughtful gesture.  

The next time they are together, her family has stollen his family’s horses and she is joyfully riding the horse his brother had recently given to him. This would be a  moment for a lot of shouting and protesting that their own families were in the right. Instead we see little of the encounter except from the viewpoint of the distant thug. Considering the couple kiss and he smilingly sees her off on what had been his horse, I really don’t think there was much shouting.

Naturally the thug, who has designs on her,  tells her father abouther romance. The dress she’d hidden away is dug out as proof. She defiantly says she intends to wear the dress at her wedding to the hero, and her father lashes her. It’s off camera but we see him swinging the whip, so whoa, horrible daddy there! 

Stuff happens with the feud, which I’ve almost totally ignored**** despite it being the main plot, which culminates in the thug engineering a rock slide. The only survivor of the men folk from both clans is, of course, our hero. As he staggers to the girl’s home he seems horribly injured and dazed almost to senselessness. There is no sudden miraculous recovery for the sake of love scenes, fights or plot.  This is convincing the way 99% of all action movies ever aren’t when it comes to traumatic injuries. He needs care..

So here comes the thug. The girl quickly hides the hero in the loft and goes to work to deal with the villian. She has to feign normalicy, then react as he would expect her to react, while he makes clear she is to be considered his property and she has to figure out how to play that considering she is trying to hide her beloved. The dazed hero can hear what’s going on, tries to aim his gun, and drops it. The villian know the hero is there, so it’s time for a fight scene..l.

And the fight is between the villian and the girl!! And this is no dainty girly crap like so many movies have thrown at us. 

Mom and I used to have this thing of yelling at the screen “Hit him!!!!!” whenever heroes and villians would fight and the love interest would stand by looking helpless. I mean, I dunno about you but if someone is trying to kill someone I love they are gonna find themselves fuckin’ fughting TWO people!

And here the girl was doing some serious full body, roll on the floor punching and biting fighting. This wasn’t damsel in distress “You brute!” thumps at the chest or gingerly smashed vases on the head. She fought like she was trying to save the life of someone she loved. Which should be expected, but isn’t when watching an old western.

Alright, so the hero does finally do in the baddie by dropping down with a knife…but now that I think about it maybe SHE was the hero of the movie anyway.

Well, maybe to me she was because she was my identification character. Most of these westerns haven’t had women I could relate to at all, and here was one I related to on some very deep level. I got her. 

Now my family was nothing like hers, not only in the lack of violence (with the ones exception of a relative you can guess) but that they were hardly uneducated (say hello to the ONLY relative I even know of that didn’t graduate college…that would be me BTW) Heck, Pop was a total sweetheart.

And yet I got her. 

An unconventional woman type myself, I never learned the girly stuff. Partly that was accidental and partly it was impractical for the life we lived. I did have to be willing to be rough and tumble, with no line between guy stuff and girl stuff. When I was a kid I was also the only girl in a neighborhood of boys where being a sissy was the worst insult and you had to be ready to fight. I was the girl that swam in the river and played in the woods. And for various reasons ( would take a while to explain) I’ve spent most of my life in worn out work clothes. 

Actually that’s an aspect that makes her resonate even more: clothes. 

I don’t dress like her, but I have my own version shabby woods girl going on. As I write this I’m wearing one of my father’s old t-shirts with holes in it, jeans worn at the knees, a broken hair barrette in my hair, and steel toed men’s work boots on my feet. 

Now there are reasons for all of these. The practicalities of farm amd woods life, being poor enough I’d have to choose between new clothes or things like books, a childhood trauma that gave me a lifelong desire to dress for fight or flight, not having a social life so 99% of the time no human sees me, living in a rural area with no credit card for onlinr ordering and, in the case of the boots, just the fact they are all I can find locally that work with the ankle braces my flat feet force me to wear.

But notice what is missing from all these reasons: fashion. I almost never get to wear clothes I actually like. I’d flip through catalogs or wander stores and imagine wearing this or that. I have strong feelings about clothes I like or don’t, but no real chance to express it. I actually fantasize about that, living the sort of lifestyle where even if you are adventuring you get to pick clothes you want to wear.

Somewhere along the line people started assuming I what I wear reflects my taste, or rather lack there of. I used to ask my cousin at Christmas to please give me something pretty. She couldn’t understand it as a request, but folks just never thought of me as wanting pretty things. What would it have been like, just once, to try to be pretty. 

Actually I’d probably have been laughed at, a comedy buffoon, the hideous lady trying to look cute, the ugly step sister. Just as well life never gave me a chance to try. 

So being self conscious about my appearance is normal for me. I know how I look to people. I also know from experience that people can be cruel, and have taken my share of insults and mocking. In her position I would have thought he was making fun of me too and reacted almost exactly like her. In fact, I have. 

Here is a heroine I can relate to, and she gets the fantasy too. The fella falls in love with her, and loves her as is, not as a fix it upper. He loves her and doesn’t tease her about things where she is sensitive. He gives her a gift of something pretty just because he thinks she will like it. She gets to admire him (and his strong arms). She even gets to fight the bad guy to save him! 

Geez, of course I ended up loving the movie!

Never saw that coming, a Randolph Scott film I will actually remember! But the question is, will I finally remember his face or just his arms?

*NOT  a John Wayne fan, and these were some sort of 1930s filler less than an hour formula stuff.

**I REALLY enjoyed this one, but of course I have a thing for circuses. Woody Strode as a trapeze artist gunfighter and Victor Buono as the big bad were nice bonuses.

***That’s always puzzled me. I usually have an excellent memory for faces from movies, but I forget his instantly.

****Also forgotten, Buster Crabbe, Shirley Temple and the rest of the costars. 

[junker-town]

6 potential landing sports for Leonard Fournette

Photo by Daniel Shirey/Getty Images

Where could Leonard Fournette land? Here are some options.

The Jacksonville Jaguars parted ways with Leonard Fournette on Monday after spending much of the offseason trying to trade the former No. 4 pick. While the LSU running back never lived up to his legendary billing out of college, the 2017 Heisman winner is still young enough, and talented enough to make a major impact on the right team.

It’s easy to laugh at the Jaguars for taking Fournette over Patrick Mahomes, Christian McCaffery, or DeShaun Watson — but at the time the pick was universally celebrated. Seen as the “next big thing” in NFL backs, the workhorse was supposed to put the Jaguars over the top and solidify their offense with Blake Bortles. It didn’t take long for everything to crumble, despite Fournette having the best season of his career in 2019 with 1,152 yards rushing while improving his presence in the passing game with 522 yards receiving.

At 25-years old there’s still a good chance he could rebound, and there are several teams that make a ton of sense. Fournette will need to clear waivers, but assuming he does these are the best spots for him as a free agent.

No. 1: Kansas City Chiefs

The Super Bowl champs already boast the best offense in the NFL, but as it stands they’re putting a lot of faith in rookie Clyde Edwards-Helaire to establish their running game. Edwards-Helaire is a vaunted prospect who will help a lot, but he’s a little in the mold of Brian Westbrook. A smaller, shifty back with home run potential whenever he touches the ball.

Westbrook was part of a committee running back system for much of his time with Andy Reid’s Eagles, often splitting carries with the bigger, North-South style of Correll Buckhalter. The comparisons here are too obvious, and for this reason Fournette could be an excellent complimentary power back to help the Chiefs.

No. 2: Pittsburgh Steelers

Even if they don’t want to admit it, the Steelers miss LeVeon Bell’s presence on the field. James Conner once held the status of being the next big Pittsburgh back, but his durability has become a concern.

Mike Tomlin loves power backs. Conner was a bit of a shift in this methodology. It’s primarily for this reason that Fournette makes a ton of sense. Not only can he be an insurance policy for Conner, should injury rear its head, but would represent a stylistic shift back into Tomlin’s wheelhouse.

This isn’t a case of advocating Fournette becomes the lead back from the jump, but rather an acknowledgement that the Steelers need running back help badly, and Fournette would be a high-upside, low-risk option for them.

No. 3: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

There’s no mistaking what’s happening in Tampa: The Bucs are in win-now mode. They are stacking the team to the moon and hoping it all meshes for one or two big runs for a title. There’s some talent at running back there with Ronald Jones II and LeSean McCoy, but it’s unclear how much either can contribute, and will likely be a committee situation.

The Buccaneers are going to be throwing the ball a lot in 2020, a lot. That will be the focus of the offense, but a back like Fournette would definitely add to the offense. That could be enough to earn a contract in a team willing to take risks to add talent.

No. 4: Seattle Seahawks

This is going to be my lazy pick, if only because I feel it’s necessary to include Seattle whenever you talk about potential landing spots for a running back. That said, this does make a little sense beyond the obvious.

Chris Carson is excellent, but he’s fumble prone. He coughed the ball up six times in 2019 alone, and that’s a killer for an offense. Don’t forget: This was a team so desperate for RB help that they took a flier on Marshawn Lynch to help them in the playoffs. That alone is good enough reason to believe there’s a chance Fournette could end up on the Seahawks.

No. 5: San Francisco 49ers

Matt Brieda was dealt to the Dolphins in the offseason, and while Raheem Mostert and the Niners appear to have cleared the air, things are still tenuous in San Fran.

Fournette is the kind of back made for the bruising, defense-heavy style of the 49ers, and considering the leap forward he took in helping the passing game in 2019 there’s a good chance he makes a lot of sense for the team.

No. 6: Carolina Panthers

Let this be the “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!” wildcard to close out this list. On paper it would seem that the Panthers have ZERO need for another back with McCaffery carrying the load, but perhaps this is why it also makes sense.

Carolina is moving to an LSU-inspired offense with former Tigers’ offensive coordinator Joe Brady at the helm, and after McCaffery their next best back is 27-year-old Mike Davis, who ran for 27 yards last year. The way to keep McCaffery healthy could be to have someone on the roster to take some of the hard-yard downs, and the romanticism of a team having both McCaffery and Fournette, the two vaunted backs from 2017, is too good to pass up.

[keiraknighted]

too late to make a sound

Summary: If Betty doesn't tell Jughead the truth soon, Archie might accidentally tell her the truth about how he feels. Set during 2x06.

Archie wakes with a start, sweating, his heart pounding. He doesn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about, only that it hadn’t ended well. He immediately reaches for his phone and opens his conversation with Betty as if it’s second nature. She’s often the first thing on his mind lately.

He can’t help but be worried about her, with this whole black hood thing plaguing her. And he’s the only one who really knows what’s going on. She’s had to cut ties with Veronica and Jughead, her sister is out of town, and it’s not like she could ever tell her mother the truth. So he’s really all she’s got right now. It has crossed his mind to question why the black hood hasn’t forced Betty to cut ties with him as well. There’s some sick part of him that’s proud that he’s the only one she’s allowed to keep. And besides, he figures it’s pointless trying to get inside the head of someone whose face he hasn’t even seen. The best he can do is be there for Betty.

Archie gets up and goes to the window, slipping his fingers between the curtain to pull it aside slightly. Glancing through the gap he can see Betty’s own curtains are still closed and he quickly taps out a message to her.

Hey, you up?

Betty’s reply is almost instantaneous.

Meet you out the front of your place in 5.

Archie presses the lock button on his phone and throws on the first items of clothing he can find, running a hand through his hair to make sure it’s slightly presentable, before pulling on his shoes and running downstairs and to the front door.

His dad calls something to him as he passes, but Archie misses the exact words. He presumes his dad wants to know where he’s going.

“Meeting Betty!” Archie calls back as he heads outside. Betty isn’t there yet, but he spots her walking down the street towards him, her blonde hair and pale pink shirt hard to miss. He feels an instant sense of relief when he sees her, and he exhales, his shoulders dropping. Perhaps whatever the dream he had was affected him more than he’d originally thought.

Amidst his relief, there’s something else, a sort of tug in his stomach that seemed to be a recent development whenever he sees Betty, or thinks about her. A feeling he’s been trying very hard not to acknowledge because it would make things very inconvenient. Although lately, conspicuously since her break up with Jughead, he’s been squashing the feeling less and less. Feelings are harmless, right? And anyway, he’s not even sure he knows what the feelings are. It’s probably nothing. His concern for her bringing out some human response that feels a lot like… well, something else.

Archie makes his way towards Betty as she draws closer, meeting her in the middle.

“Everything okay?” she asks him. She looks exhausted, and stressed. He wishes there was something he could do to fix everything, to make her feel better.

“I should be the one asking you that.”

Betty shrugs, and glances at her phone. Archie stiffens, reading into her gesture.

“The black hood?” he questions. Betty nods reluctantly. “What happened?”

Betty sighs.

“Walk me to Pop’s?”

Archie nods and he falls into step beside her as they walk in the direction of Pop’s. He stays silent, waiting for Betty to give him the whole story.

“He called me last night, and he threatened Polly,” Betty starts. Archie opens his mouth to say something angry and supportive, but Betty cuts him off, sensing his thoughts. “It’s fine, just let me finish.”

Archie nods, keeping his silence.

“He told me to give him another name, or he’d kill Polly.” Betty pauses. “I refused at first, but he was so persistent.”

It’s an effort for Archie to hold his tongue.

“I told him Nick St Clair,” Betty says. Before Archie can decide how he feels about that, (on the one hand, Nick is awful and the world wouldn’t miss him, on the other, Betty could never live with herself if she had someone’s death on her hands, even someone as grotesque as Nick St Clair), Betty hurries on. “He’s not dead. I checked. The black hood called me before and told me giving him the name was enough. Apparently it shows my true nature.” She scoffs, but Archie can tell it bothers her.

“I know your true nature, and that’s not it,” he assures her. “You’re a good person, Betty.”

“I know,” Betty says, but he’s still glad he said it. “I know that now. I needed to clear my head, and I did. And I realised that this is just a sick game to him. Psychological torture. So… I’m done. With the black hood, with his letters, his Simon says.”

“So what happens when he calls you again?”

“I won’t answer,” she says vehemently, and Archie almost believes her. “I can’t… keep playing. I can’t.”

“Didn’t he threaten Polly?” Archie reminds her of the fact, as if she hadn’t just told him a minute ago.

“He did, and I talked to her. The people at the farm are gonna help her disappear for a while, just until it’s safe again.”

“Whenever that is,” Archie scoffs as the two of them approach Pop’s. “What about Jughead, and Ronnie? We have to tell them the truth.”

“And we will,” Betty promises. Archie’s not sure she realises how much the two of them need to know, not just for their sake, but for Betty’s own sanity. And for his own piece of mind too. Whenever he thinks about Jughead he feels a wave of guilt wash over him. He feels like it’s partly his fault the two of them aren’t together. Plus there’s the whole confusing feelings about Betty thing. But Jughead and Betty are going to get back together, this he knows. And besides, he has Veronica, whom he’s very happy with.

“I’ll tell them. Let’s just… you know, let things settle first. Make sure it’s all over.”

As she speaks, Archie notices Jughead through the window of Pop’s, sitting across a table from some girl from his new school, Toni or something. Archie stops in his tracks, grabbing Betty’s arm automatically, and she trails off, following his line of vision.

Jughead’s laughing with Toni, and it’s not like laughing is against the law or anything, but he’s not exactly looking heartbroken over his break up with Betty, and Archie’s no expert on body language, but it kind of looks like flirting. Maybe Pop’s wasn’t the greatest idea. It’s probably a totally innocent breakfast, but either way, Betty doesn’t need the heartache of seeing Jughead at all right now.

Archie glances at Betty, gauging her reaction. Is she worried about Toni? He’s pretty sure Jughead would never do anything to hurt Betty, but then again, technically they’re broken up, and the things he said to Jug on Betty’s behalf were pretty brutal. Still, if it were him, he’d at least have the decency to wait a few weeks before moving on. Betty deserves some respect.

He’d like to say something comforting, but before he gets the chance his phone is ringing, and Betty’s along with it, and it’s their parents demanding they come home right away.

“This can’t be good,” Betty mutters as she ends the call with Alice. Archie couldn’t agree more.

The “intervention” or whatever it is their parents are trying to pull is a complete waste of time. All it does is put Jughead in danger, and even though Archie gets to him in time to rescue him from the raid of Southside High, Jug isn’t exactly happy to see him, not that Archie can blame him. To top it off, Archie has this irrational annoyance at Veronica for the things she’d said about Betty earlier. He should understand, after all, what Betty said to Ronnie was pretty mean, and Veronica has always been proud. But does his girlfriend really think she can trash talk his best friend to his face? Not going to happen. He’s glad he has bigger problems to deal with to distract him. And once Betty finally reveals the truth everything can go back to normal.

There are a lot of things Archie wants to say to Jughead. He wants to tell him to stop being such an idiot and quit hanging out with the Serpents. He wants to interrogate him about Toni, let him know what an idiot he’d be to jeopardize things with Betty. And of course, he wants to tell him about everything going on with Betty and the black hood. But that’s Betty’s to tell not his. And Jughead is mad enough without him bringing up either of the other things.

He listens to Jughead’s rant patiently, knowing Jughead needs to get it out of his system before he’ll listen to reason. Archie suggests going to Mayor McCoy, telling her the Serpents aren’t the problem.

“Mayor McCoy?” Jughead says, and Archie can sense the venomous sarcasm. “The same McCoy that just arrested all my friends for no reason?”

“What do you care anyway, man?” Jughead says flippantly. “I thought you and Betty wanted nothing to do with me. Right?”

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened. And how it happened. And as for Betty, you should maybe talk to her.”

He needs Betty and Jughead to talk this out. Because the longer they’re broken up, the more he finds himself thinking about Betty, and not always in ways that people should think about their best friends.

Guilt pools in Archie’s stomach and as he takes in Jughead’s stony face, he’s hit with a similar image of Jughead from his dream last night. He almost says, hey, I think you were in my dream last night, but before he can blurt it out, Jughead is racing out the door.

As the rest of the dream comes back to him, Archie can only be relieved that he saved himself the torture of having to explain why Jughead was in his dream last night. He closes his eyes as he now recalls, in vivid detail, being in a darkened room with Betty, a gun pointed at them by a man in a black hood.

Confess, or I’ll shoot both of you, the black hood had shouted. Dream Archie had no idea what he was supposed to be confessing.

Betty, his dream-self said, urgently, before we die, I need you to know that I love you okay?

I know.

He kissed her, to make sure she really got it, expecting the black hood to fire any second. Nothing came. He turned to see the black hood pull his mask off, revealing his identity. Jughead.

His eyes screamed, how could you?

But what he said out loud was, I knew it. He pulled the trigger and that’s when Archie had woken up.

Archie opens his eyes, still reeling from the memory of the dream. Dreams don’t really mean anything, he knows that. But he’s suddenly certain of something, and the knowledge makes him practically groan out loud.

Of all the people he could go and fall in love with, it had to be Betty Cooper, didn’t it?

Archie tells himself he’ll just have to get over it. For one thing, he has a girlfriend, who happens to be Betty’s best friend. For another, Jughead is his best friend and even if Betty and Jughead aren’t together right now, they’re still in love. Telling Betty how he feels is not an option. He had his chance to be with Betty and he missed it, and now Jughead gets to be the lucky one.

But no matter how hard he tries, there’s this evil little voice in his head, whispering, Jughead doesn’t deserve her. You and Betty were meant for each other.

Archie does his best to ignore it.

But Fred says, “Kinda like that when I was trying to help FP. I don’t know what it is. Never ending battle with those two. Just hope with Jug it’s not a losing one,” and Archie hears, Jughead is a lost cause, he’s just like his dad. He’s not right for Betty.

The voice is wrong, Archie knows it’s wrong. The whole thing is wrong. But he looks at Jughead and he sees FP, and even the rational side of him can see history repeating itself. And it’s not that FP is the worst guy in the world. But he was in a gang, he was a pretty shitty father and now he’s in jail.

And Jughead joined the Serpents so easily. And he agrees to an illegal street race so easily. It’s like he doesn’t even think about the consequences. Jughead is supposed to be the smart one. But this drag race could end badly. If he doesn’t die in the process, there is every likelihood he’ll get arrested and thrown in jail, just like his dad. If that’s Jughead’s path, Archie knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop it. But he just might be able to keep Betty from going down with him.

And if he keeps thinking like that he’s going to do something stupid, like tell Betty how he feels and ruin basically every single one of his relationships.

They aren’t even together, the voice in his head says. You and Veronica aren’t in love, what does it matter?

Archie looks over at Betty as he picks up trash for their community service. She shouldn’t even have to be here as far as Archie is concerned.

Tell her, tell her, tell her, the voice says.

“Betty, you have to talk to Jughead,” Archie says. His chest aches and he can’t seem to dislodge whatever it is that’s stuck in his throat. He’s afraid that if she doesn’t come clean to Jughead soon, he’s going to come clean to her.

“Soon, I promise,” Betty says, “I just need to take care of a few things.”

Betty turns away, back to the task, but Archie’s eyes linger, his feelings bubbling to the surface, threatening to overflow. He’s sure it’s only Veronica’s overwhelming presence that stops him this time, and he swallows, getting back to work. This isn’t exactly the place for a declaration of love anyway.

Guilt gnaws at Archie constantly. When he’s not feeling guilty about having feelings for his best friend’s (ex) girlfriend, he’s feeling guilty about not having feelings for his own girlfriend.

And when he’s not feeling guilty about either of those things, he’s feeling guilty about calling Sheriff Keller and telling him about the street race. At least his motives for that one are pure. If the Ghoulies are in jail, maybe Jughead won’t make any more stupid decisions, and he and Betty can get back together and Archie can put this whole thing behind him. See? He’s a good friend after all. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

Veronica stays over the night before the drag race. He tells her he’s too tired for sex, but then he spends most of the night awake anyway. He should break up with her. He’s in love with someone else.

Someone you can’t have, he reminds himself. What’s the point in breaking up with a girl he likes if he can’t even be with the girl he really wants? He might fall in love with Veronica one day. There is every possibility it could happen.

Only, it hasn’t yet. And that’s not enough for him right now. And though Archie had tried to strengthen his resolve that morning, the blows that follow only serve to make it crumble.

His thoughts sliding to Betty as Veronica kisses him. Jughead’s look of pure glee as he presses the accelerator to the floor. Jughead’s lack of concern for his own life, and Archie’s. Jughead’s rage when he finds out Archie called the cops. That look Betty gives him that grips his heart and squeezes tightly.

It all only serves to make him want Betty more, and worst of all, make him believe he has any right to want her.

Archie goes to bed early to wallow, turning down the offer from Veronica and Betty to go to Pop’s. He can’t deal with that right now. He lies in bed, dreaming up scenarios where everything is fixed, and everyone gets to be happy, including him. Especially him.

Betty calls him a little after ten, and his stomach swoops when he sees her name on his phone screen.

“Betty,” he answers.

“I found the Sugarman,” she tells him immediately. Archie sits bolt upright.

“You did? Who is it?”

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m going to call Sheriff Keller in the morning and I’m writing something for the Blue and Gold that’s probably going to take me a few hours,” she says. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Okay,” Archie swallows.

“Night, Arch,” Betty says. She sounds triumphant. Better than she has in days. Archie wants to drink that in.

“Betty?” he says hesitantly.

“Yeah, Arch?”

“Never mind. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

He hangs up the phone, his gut churning with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. Tomorrow. He’s definitely going to tell her tomorrow.

Except she doesn’t show up to school the next morning, and his disappointment is overwhelming. He doesn’t have the nerve to ask Veronica or Kevin if either of them knows where she is, but he keeps looking around, hoping she’ll show up.

He needs to do it now, today, before it’s too late.

He walks out of first period to see her waiting in the hallway, beaming. He can’t help but smile back at her, though his heart is beating a million miles a minute.

“Betty,” he says, and it’s like he can’t get enough of saying her name.

“Hey, Arch,” she grins. He just stares at her for a moment, as other students stream around and between them.

“Have you got a minute?” he finally says. He’s going to tell her now. Just not here, in a crowded hallway.

“Sure,” Betty says. He’s about to take her hand, lead her somewhere else. But then, “But first I have to tell you something. You’ll be happy to know I finally told Jughead everything.”

“You did?” Archie’s stomach drops. He tries to keep his face impassive.

“Yep! And he understands. Everything is good between us again!” she says happily.

“So you’re back together?” Archie verifies. Betty nods. Archie forces himself to mirror her smile. “That’s great, Betty,” he lies.

“I know. So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, uh… just wanted to know all about what happened with the black hood and the Sugarman,” Archie supplies.

“Oh, have I got a story for you,” Betty laughs, and the sound fills the air and works its way into his lungs, into his heart.

It’s better this way, he tells himself. It’s really a blessing in disguise. What did he think would happen? He’d confess his love for Betty and she’d suddenly just stop being in love with Jughead? Jug and Veronica would just give them their blessing and they’d get to live happily ever after?

It was always an impossibility.

Well, not always. But now it always will be, and he only has himself to blame for letting her get away.

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

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It’d been some time since Bones had seen or heard from you, and it was making him grumpier than normal. He couldn’t stand it anymore, and against his better judgement, he decided to share his concerns with Jim.

“You miss her!” Jim taunted, not trying to conceal his utter delight.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” he snapped. “She’s up to something! And it’s going to be big if she’s taking this long.”

“Good,” Jim nodded, earning a glare from the doctor. “What? Morale’s been pretty low lately and another stunt is just what we need right now.”

Leonard exhaled, shoulders slumping as he took a seat. “Yeah. Crew’s getting careless. Medbay’s been busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.”

“Well, was she acting strange last time you saw her?” Jim crossed his arms and leaned against the table across from Leonard. “Seem suspicious or anything?”

Bones shrugged, “I haven’t seen her since she put up the resistance posters.”

“What? That was over a year ago!” Jim’s brow furrowed, trying to recall something. “That’s not right, weren’t you on the same team during the last mission?”

“No, she’s not been on any missions.”

“What do you mean? Of course she has.”

“I haven’t seen her in medical upon any mission team’s return.” He pulled out his PADD and began searching patient histories when Jim asked to have Spock come to his office.

“I know she has,” Jim insisted. “Maybe she’s just been skipping her checkups.”

“Or forging them,” Leonard supplied, handing Jim his PADD. “It says she’s been cleared, but I haven’t examined her.”

“Well, she’s certainly smart enough to. Do you think this is part of her prank?”

There was a knock on the door, and Jim opened it to reveal Spock.

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” he asked, entering when Jim gestured him to.

“Yes, it’s about Y/N.”

“Oh?” he slightly raised a brow. “What has she done now?”

“Nothing, that’s the problem,” Leonard grumbled, making Spock raise his eyebrow a bit more.

“Wasn’t she meant to go on that last rescue mission along with Bones? He says he didn’t see her.”

“Initially, yes, though she found a suitable replacement as she was needed on the Enterprise.”

“What about her post-mission physicals?” Leonard showed him his PADD. “It says she’s had them but she hasn’t.”

“She has, Doctor.” He pulled out his own PADD and pulled up your medical details. “She’d been examined by Dr. M’Benga.”

“Oh, well that answers that question,” Jim breathed a sigh of relief.

“Why?” Leonard looked almost offended.

“Perhaps that is a question better suited for her to answer?” Spock offered. “Was there anything else I could assist you with?”

“Yeah, have you seen Y/N recently? Or spoken to her?” Jim glanced over at Leonard, who was looking even angrier than when he came in. “She’s been quiet and Bones seems to think she’s planning something big.”

“I have not noticed any questionable behavior from her, nor from Nyota. She has seemed a bit overworked and withdrawn, but nothing that was cause for alarm.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leonard’s mood grew fouler and fouler as the weeks passed. He knew you were up to something; you had to be. There was no other explanation for why you’d been avoiding him.

He figured it out when immediately after his meeting with the Captain and Spock, he found aside from going to a different doctor, you had been switching missions he was a part of. Despite knowing the benefits of the tricks you played on him, he grew anxious and decided it was time to confront you. However, no matter how many times he went to engineering, you were nowhere to be found. He checked your quarters, but you were never there, no matter what time he’d check. Next, he decided to call in for repairs in the medbay until you showed, but it was always someone else who walked through the doors.

Eventually, he went back to Jim to express his frustrations. The captain didn’t think much of it, but as Leonard wasn’t about to let it go, he agreed to get in touch with you as long as he didn’t start hurling accusations. Leonard reluctantly agreed, settling into an empty chair to await your arrival.

“Hey, handsome,” you greeted the captain, briefly pausing when you saw Dr. McCoy was present as well. “Good afternoon, Doctor.”

His anger disappeared as soon as he saw you; dull, sunken eyes, skin lacking its usual glow, hair dry and limp.

“I’m sorry, beautiful, did I wake you?” Jim asked.

“Yeah, but it’s fine,” you yawned out. “What’s up?”

“Well, uh, there’ve been some concerns,” he began, eyeing Leonard as he pulled out his tricorder and approached you. “regarding some missions you were supposed to be on.”

“What about them?” You tried to ignore the doctor’s close proximity, putting all your focus on Jim. “I cleared all my replacements with Commander Spock beforehand.”

“I know, I was wondering why you ducked out of those missions specifically.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” you lied. “I had other projects that needed my attention, so I recommended someone else.”

“And you post-mission physicals?” Leonard jumped in. “Why have you been going to Dr. M’Benga?”

You furrowed your brow in faux confusion. “Why not? He’s my friend and he’s a more than competent doctor, isn’t he?”

Bones didn’t have a good answer, and narrowed his eyes at you, causing you to turn your attention back to the captain.

Jim nodded, not having anything to add to the discussion. He leaned back in his chair, appearing casual. “So, we haven’t seen much of you lately. What have you been up to?”

“Ugh, nothing. Been too busy with work to do anything other than sleep.” That wasn’t a lie. It was harder than you anticipated to get anyone to agree to cover your missions when they found they’d be in the company of the surly doctor. You could barely get them to take the medbay repair jobs. In the end, you had to offer to take on some of their workload to get them to agree.

“Doesn’t look like you’re getting much there, Darlin,” Leonard teased, eyes narrowing again when you only smiled politely and nodded.

Even Jim was surprised you didn’t take the chance to retort, but he figured you were just tired. He dismissed you, apologizing again for disturbing your rest. You said your goodbyes to both men, only which Jim responded.

“See? She’s acting weird, isn’t she?” Bones asked after you’d gone.

Jim rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, barely meeting Leonard’s gaze. “I don’t know, Bones, she seemed honest to me. Did you see how exhausted she looked?”

“Because she’s working on whatever nightmare she’s going to unleash next!”

“Either way, I’m telling her to take a few days to rest. Mind giving me a doctor’s order to go with it?”

“Ask Dr. M’Benga,” he mocked pettily. “She’d work herself to the grave out of spite if it came from me,” he grumbled, taking his leave of the amused captain.

A/N: I may have stolen borrowed my brother’s drawing tablet to play with that first image...

~ ~ TAG LISTS ~ ~

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren  @silence–in–the–library @thefridgeismybestie @hymnofthevalkyrie @abbybills22

MwB -  @bxbyblossom @the-wintergirl @izzy-obwan

[dreamthinkimagine]

Halloween

For @heartsywritesthethings because she was my first follower!

WARNING: Zombies; Vampires; Ghosts; Witch; May be spooky for some

“That’s not scary.”

“What?! It was a guy who murdered two people and ended up getting murdered by the same tool he used to murder them! And it was in an underground tunnel that led to a slaughterhouse! What do you mean ‘That’s not scary’?!”

“Sorry, Bones. It’s just not scary.”

“Captain, what exactly is the logic behind this?” Spock asked as he studied the bowl of Earth candy set before him. It was the night before Halloween and Jim, Spock, and Bones were sitting on the floor in a circle with a computer in the middle that showed an image of a campfire as they told scary stories.

“Because tomorrow’s Halloween.” Spock raised an eyebrow in confusion. “It’s a holiday where people try to scare each other and eat candy.”

“Not too much,” Bones said. “Eat it in moderation.” In response, Jim instantly took some candy from the bowl and popped a piece into his mouth as he looked at Bones with a smile and a twinkle present in his eye. When he looked back at Spock, he saw his eyebrow was still raised. Seeing that he was not going to be able to explain what Halloween was he said:

“OK, Spock, you can go.”

“Thank you, Captain.” He stood and walked out the door.

“I’ll show him what it is tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna try to scare Spock? Jim, he’s a Vulcan; he’s not scareble.”

“Like your story?” Bones looked at Jim for two seconds before tackling him.

“Bones? No. No. Don’t,” Jim laughed even though nothing had happened until after his plea. Bones drilled his fingers into and against Jim’s belly. “Aaaahahahahahha!” Jim brought up his knees to protect himself, so Bones skated his fingers along his collarbones. “Bohohohohones!” Jim started to rock left and right.

The doctor quickly switched to Jim’s ribs, causing him to squeal and straighten out. He kept one hand spidering at Jim’s ribs and his other squeezed up and down his side; and Jim started to buck. “Stohahahahahap! - DOHOhohohon’t!” Jim said when Bones kneaded his thighs. “Hahaha!” Jim folded up again, but that didn’t stop Bones from getting the sides of his hips.

“Hahahah-AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOHO!!” His legs went down so he could protect his hips with his hands, but he couldn’t focus enough to actually do it. “HAHAHAAHIHIHI!!” Bones tickled his hips for another five minutes before giving him a quick squeeze and scratch to his knees. As Jim panted and his giggles started to fade, Bones helped him up.

“That’ll teach you to mock my scary stories. Especially during the days leading up to Halloween.”

“Fair enough, Bones.”

“Now let’s get some dinner, since that candy doesn’t count as one.”

***

What Jim and Bones did not know was that once Spock got back to his Quarters, he asked his computer for a more specific definition of Halloween and how it is celebrated. When he felt he understood, he went and found Scotty.

“Do you believe this to be achievable by tomorrow morning, Mr. Scott?”

“Aye, Mr. Spock,” Scotty said. “Absolutely. Let’s get to work.” As Scotty worked out the technical issues of their plan, Spock had his own mini mission to attend to. He snuck into both Jim’s and Bones’ Quarters and replaced their phasers with replica toys. He also rigged their alarm clocks to go off at 9:00 instead of 6:00 in case Scotty’s logic failed and more time was needed.

He was going to help his friends celebrate Halloween.

***

When Jim’s alarm clock went off the next morning, he rushed through his morning routine so he could get to the Bridge faster. How had that happened? He didn’t set his clock to go off at that time. As he was rushing to the Bridge, he and Bones ran into each other. Literally.

“Jim,” Bones said as he held his hurting head. “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“My, uh, alarm clock went off three hours late.”

“Mine too. What’s happening?”

“I don’t know.” Suddenly, the lights began to turn on and off. On and off. On and off.

“Jim?”

“Something must be wrong with the lighting system. I’ll tell Scotty.” The lights began to flicker faster and faster until they were out.

Only a dim light every one hundred-fifty feet.

“Captain.”

“Spock! This is creepy lighting isn’t it?”

“Appropriate for Halloween?” Spock asked.

“You could say that.”

“Why are you in the hallways, Captain?”

“Our alarm clocks went off three hours late.”

“Curious.” Suddenly they felt a chilling breeze and heard an even more chilling cackle.

“What the - ?!” Bones yelled as the witch flew over them on her broom. Jim and Bones both pulled out their phasers and set to stun the witch...but nothing happened. Their phasers weren’t working. They both got a pit in their stomach and ran with Spock behind them when the witch turned around and began to chase them. Her black cat sat on the edge of the broomstick as it hissed and showed its teeth.

“You can’t run from me,” she said in her high, shrill voice. “Mr. Whiskers...” she said in the creepiest of ways. The cat, in response, looked at the running figures in front of him as he growled. He jumped off of the broom and ran for them at full speed. Jim threw his phaser at the cat, which fell over when hit.

“You’ll pay for that! You’ll pay!” The witch yelled. She waved her hand over the floor and it began to go into a gravitational collapse. The men ran faster, just avoiding the abyss below. The witch called up the lost pieces of the floor and set them back into place with her hand wave.

This time she took both hands off of her broom, waved them, and cackled as she vanished. The three turned around only to see the doors in the halls open - and the ship began to fill with a stench no words could describe. Out from the doors came zombie crewmen! Not just red-shirts. There were yellow and blue too!

They moaned as they reached towards the three with their bony fingers and walked towards them. Bones screamed when some jaws fell off; being a doctor, he knew more than anyone else how wrong it was. He knew what kept the jaw in place, and what would have to happen if it were to fall off. The three of them ran down the dark halls.

“Are you alright, Doctor?”

“No, I’m not you green-blooded - !”

“Brrrrrrraaaiiiinnss...” one of the zombie’s called to them as a piece of flesh fell from its face.

“Captain, why do we run if they can only limp?”

“Do you want them to get your brain?!” Spock raised an eyebrow.

“Either way, I believe we have escaped.” With the zombies out of sight, they stopped to catch their breaths.

“Well, we might be able to slow down, but that doesn’t mean that we should stop moving,” Bones said as he walked further ahead...until he hit something.

“What’d my foot just hit?” As he backed up, it rose straight up. Bones was met with a six foot five inch vampire. He gaped at the soulless eyes. The dark eyes without pupils. The vampire felt McCoy’s neck with its thin, cold fingers and long fingernails.

The monster showed its teeth as it prepared to take a bite. Large, white and sharp. Jim had to grab Bones’ shirt so they could all run the other way. Soon, they heard the moaning again and Jim tripped over a severed zombie head. As the head stared at him, it moaned, “Braaaaiins...” and tried to bite him, but only got his pant leg.

“AAAAAHHH!!!”

“JIM!!” Spock and Bones both yelled. For his Captain, Bones punched the head, making it let go. When they turned, they saw the vampire getting closer. Jim picked up the head and threw it at the crowd of zombies, causing more limbs to fall off, some fell apart completely and others crashed onto the ground.

Bones and Jim ran just past the vampire, who reached out for them, but missed. Spock simply walked up to the creature who smiled and winked at him. Spock nodded at the crewman and went into his Quarters.

***

“I - I think we lost ‘im.” Bones said.

“I think so too. Wait, where’s Spock?!”

“Spock?” Bones called. That was when ten white, yet transparent figures faded through the walls. Jim and Bones, turning as white as ghosts themselves, sprinted down the hall.

“SPOCK!!”

“SPOCK!!” They cried out. As the ghosts grew nearer, so did their fear. Until finally, five ghosts faded through each and through the floor. Both completely out of breath, sweating and still scared.

“Bones?”

“Jim?”

“Don’t look down.”

“I can see it.” The floor was now covered with a thick fog and when they tried to look up to see just how far it was, they were met with a dark figure standing in the middle of the floor.

It suddenly opened it’s eyes - the irises were red. It stepped forward, just barely in the light; casting spooky shadows over it’s face. But Jim realized something about the vampire.

“Spock?!” Spock stepped closer to the two, causing them to back up and fall. Something about Spock being the ghoul made it much more frightening than the others. They couldn’t move - they were frozen. Spock bent down at Jim, opening his mouth.

“Trick-or-Treat, Jim.” As Jim and Bones let out the loudest screams they had ever screamed in their lives, Spock turned and stood.

“Mr. Scott,” he called, “I believe that will be sufficient.”

“Aye!” The lights turned back on, the fog faded, and the zombies, vampire and witch all came out. They began wiping off their faces or taking off masks to reveal that they were just crewmen. Only crewmen. Scotty walked up to Spock.

Jim and Bones sat there on the floor heavily breathing, gaping, and trying to process the last fifteen minutes.

“Y-you...Spock...Scotty...?”

“What...crewman...zombies...?”

“Mr. Spock organized it Captain.”

“As did Mr. Scott. He handled the technical aspects, such as the lights, the witch’s cat and spells, the dismemberment of limbs, and the ghosts.”  

“Mr. Spock got the crew in on it though, switched your phasers, and reset your alarm clocks.”

“You did all this to...to scare us?

“You did say that scaring others is how Halloween is celebrated, Jim.”

“You’re not supposed to give anyone a heart attack!” Bones yelled.

“But, you did get us, Mr. Spock.” Jim and Bones stood.

“Happy Halloween.” Spock said. Jim and Bones looked at each other.

“You get Scotty,” Jim said. “I’ll get Spock.” The crew ran; they knew they’d be next, but at least they’d have time to hide. Spock and Scotty were already laughing; and neither Jim nor Bones planned to stop until they were both cackling like that fake witch.

“Happy Halloween, Jim,” Bones said and gave his side a tweak, earning laughter from his friend.

“Happy Halloween.”

Happy Halloween!

No Cats Were Harmed During The Writing Of This Fic

[if-weshadows-haveoffended]

As the World Falls Down- Part 2

A/N: This is just a continuation of my Bickering Professors AU! that was requested a while ago. You can read that absolute delight here. But brace yourselves for the X-kids wearing the Worst™ Best™ that 1980s prom fashion has to offer.

And if none of you haven’t seen Labyrinth, this is the song both pieces were inspired by. {here}

Also, are ya’ll aware that there’s a website that lists all these condom slogans? It’s simultaneously the best and worst thing I’ve read all my life. (x)

Word Count: 2081 Prompt List: (x) Masterlist: (x)

Part 2- As the World Falls Down

You managed to drag yourself down the mahogany staircase on the way to the first floor, admiring the sunlight drifting through the stain glass windows and warming your tired face. Did you care that your hair resembled a bird’s nest? No, not particularly, with the bright red scarfed tying back the strands it probably looked closer to the Madonna-inspired look you were going for. To be honest, you were faking the sense of being alive with bright red lipstick.

A few of the older students were already awake, upon seeing you they pointed towards the general direction of the gym and pool, you nodded in permission, deciding you were way too tired to deal with any of this. Either way your feet carried you down the empty hallways, students only beginning to emerge and enter the breakfast hall, to the heavy carved door of the staff room.

Professor Xavier sat at the head, Mystique to his left and Erik to his right, all three nursing ridiculously large mugs of coffee. Several of the other teachers from various faculties took their seats at the table on their swivelly-plastic chairs, conveniently leaving a space beside Professor McCoy.

Wait- you did a head count.

McCoy, Xavier, Mystique, Erik, mathematics teacher whose name you weren’t entirely sure of, Logan, Frost-

Shit, Peter wasn’t here yet-

No you take that back, as you sat down, a small breeze by your arm notified you that the speedster had indeed arrived and taken the seat beside you with a cheery wave. Clearing his throat, Professor Xavier began to hand out sheets of stapled paper regarding small details about the senior ball. You remembered with a shudder of terror the previous years of senior balls, of angry teenagers nearly killing each other because salmon was not the trending colour and the balloons should most definitely be rose-gold. You guessed with a fair amount of certainty that the final straw for the Professor had been the fact two senior students last year succeeded in imploding the lake, effectively draining it and displacing the current occupants of ducks and geese and decimating the fish population.

“I wasn’t entirely sure what was ‘hip’-“

“To be fair Professor, no one says ‘hip’ anymore,” Peter interrupted with a smile, you shook your head fondly, smiling at the Professor to continue despite his mutterings of how old he had gotten.

“What do you say then, ‘rad’?” He sounded exasperated before turning the page and bringing everyone’s attention to the choice of theme colours (cobalt blue and gold), food (you supposed they’d be alright with it) and according to the paper, Xavier had the students democratically vote upon the music to be played by the band. “Anyway, this final meeting is just to determine that we don’t have any potential problems- yes Frost?”

“I see we’ve removed the open bar?” Emma Frost raised her hand, tucking loose strands of hair back into her sleek bun before glowering at the Professor.

“They’re children-“

“Not for the children Charles,” Erik stated with a sip of his coffee “It’s for the faculty.”

“Dad’s got a point, other dad, if we all have to deal with Scott and Jean shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, I’m going to need something to bleach my mind with.” Peter piped up from beside you, however you too also grimaced from the image of several hormonal teenaged-couples viciously making out on the dancefloor while Careless Whisper played in the background. No, the open bar was definitely a faculty requirement.

“Alright, there’s no need for all of you to imagine hormonal students simultaneously. As several of our students are adept at telekinesis it may be worthwhile if we were to have you, Erik in charge, wearing the helmet and just to double check, did you call me ‘other dad’?” Charles added to Peter, every head at the table turning to face him.

“Maybe you’re imagining things, sir.” Peter smiled what could only be described as a shit-eating grin, you choked a little on your coffee, trying to supress a dying-whale laugh. “Have you even got a date to the ball?”

“I hear Moira’s free,” McCoy slyly suggested beside you with a wink.

“I’m also free as a pity date, Charles, it’s not 1963.” Mystique added in a playfully condescending manner. “We all know you’re finding it harder to get back on the dating market.”

“So’s my dad, he’s also conveniently here.” Peter pointed over to Erik.

“You don’t even have a date, Peter, let alone a suit to wear.” Professor Xavier fired back. You kept your mind blank. Don’t give the game away, don’t give the game away, don’t let Professor Xavier make a dad joke about having Peter as a date-

Shit.

“No, don’t be ridiculous Peter, I can’t have Charles as a date; he hasn’t any hair. I can’t be seen in public with a bald man. Think of my image.” Erik snidely remarked, earning a round of raucous laughs from the teachers. Charles rolled his eyes before continuing down the list, shuddering progressively as he went further down the finalised music playlist.

For now you were safe. All you had to do now was avoid Charles Xavier for the next few days until the ball.

Wonderful.

“You look beautiful,” Peter held out a small corsage of baby’s breath and small asters wrapped in a sheer silver ribbon, your gaze travelled from the corsage as you took a step back to take a good look at him. No, he didn’t own a suit, but he wore his silver jacket and silvery leather jeans in a charming enough manner that it was almost an improvement to the suits everyone else surely must be wearing. “I mean it’s a usual for you, but wow,”

“You don’t have to try too hard, Peter,”

“No I mean it, babe,” He said in all earnest, fumbling with your left wrist to tie the corsage onto it with his goofy, lopsided grin. “Now, off to the ball, Cinderella?”

“I don’t have a pumpkin, but I suppose you’ll do,” You teased gently, taking Peter’s proffered arm. His other hand moved to support your neck and he sped you to the converted auditorium. While you weren’t entirely fond of speeding about (see: running late, terrible nausea and the senior chemistry exam of 1982), you had to admit it was pretty damn cool.

The senior ball was as you’d expect it to be. Chaotic, energetic and with terrible choice in music. But the kids seemed ecstatic to be wearing their new suits and dresses, running around arm-in-arm to the punch bowl or to the dance floor as they excitedly greeted each other and complimented their friends. It seemed that electric blue was very en vogue this year.

“Summers, get your tongue out of Grey’s throat.” Peter cleared his throat at the couple who immediately vacated with red faces, scuttling away to find the rest of their trouble-making friends. “My lady, your throne,” He dramatically swept a grovelling bow and with a laugh, you took the chair and Peter following.

“So I suppose we’ll be stuck here all night?” You asked your ‘date’.

“I guess, whole part of the teaching gig, you feel?” He folded his arms at an attempt to look stern at a pair of giggling teens who were about halfway to getting into each other’s pants in public, “Kiddos, just remember, always wrap it before you tap it.”

“Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.” You added with a conspiratorial smirk, watching the kids’ mouths fall open in horror.

“Sex is cleaner with a packaged weiner,” Peter pointed out. You bit back the most ungodly snort.

“Ew, Professor M, that’s just gross,” They winced before levitating away to the other side of the dancefloor, presumably where there were teachers who were too deep into their alcoholic cups of denial to care.

“Wow, so apparently; I can’t even take an active interest in preventative measures.” Peter scoffed lightly. “Kids these days, what’s going on with the world?”

“I’m not sure, but apparently it’s the latest fashion to wear sashes and frilly shirts to a formal event.” You added in disgust, not entirely sure how Scott or Warren were managing to strut their egos in their flamboyant suits. But all the power to them, you supposed.

“So, I think you’re meant to ask people to dance at these kind of things,” Peter offered an outstretched hand as you recognised the opening bars of that song from Labyrinth. You were surprised that he even offered his hand, having given you every sad indication of taking his job seriously and sitting some wonderful songs out. “Okay, I don’t sing as good as David Bowie, but c’mon, a dance?”

“Yeah, alright Maximoff.” You were pulled flushed to him, wrapping your arms in a languid manner around his neck while his moved to your hips, swaying gently to the music as the crowd began to move closer together in a slow-dance. Well, it was better than Lady in Red, you supposed.

The proximity to Peter was enough to make you weak in the knees, his soft silvery hair falling against your cheeks and making you feel as if there was nothing else in the world in that moment. Just you and the ever-intoxicating Peter Maximoff. You were closer now, if such a thing were possibly, practically flush against his chest as he hummed the song under his breath.

“What? What are you thinking?” He asked softly, a gentle smile pulling at his pink lips. Your eyes flickered towards them, your mind already half made-up. “C’mon, tell meeeeee.”

“I can’t say,” You said gently, staring up at him through your lashes, quite unable to meet his gaze.

“No? Please babe?”

“No, I’ll show you,” Gathering your courage you leaned into the speedster, finally moving at your pace for once in his chaotic life, fully shutting your eyes.

His reaction was instantaneous; a gasp caught in his throat as your lips met his, melting and moving together. His hands tightened upon your hips, one of his teasing hands pleasurably drifting towards your waist and settling there, warmth seeping through cool silk. Your own hands gently traced patterns at the nape of his neck, feeling smooth skin and then tangling in thick locks of silver hair that you had so carefully matched your dress to.

“So,” he finally exhaled, pulling away, resting his forehead against yours. “Where do we go from here?”

“I think we both know, and it’s certainly not making sure these kiddos leave room for Jesus.”

“I gotcha babe,”

“And so as we observe the need to maintain moderate pressure and heat as a result of the equilibrium- Yes Mr Summers?” You asked tiredly, staring at the usually smug bastard with the same tiredness you usually showed.

“I can’t believe you and Professor Maximoff had the audacity to tell me and Jean off for making out when he was practically eating your face on the dancefloor.”

Once again you winced, watching as your class descended into a chaotic riot of shouts and hi-fives and dollar bills being handed about before settling a little at your well-honed ‘teacher glare’.

“Man, I hope you guys didn’t bang because I got twenty bucks riding on that.” Summers’ final statement had you ready to fling yourself out of the window. But you composed yourself with a couple of deep breaths, calmly collecting your things as your ridiculous class prepared itself for the final bell, clearing up two minutes early.

“Summers?” Your voice rang through the hum of student prattle.

“Yes Professor Y/N? Sorry about that, I didn’t mean offence.” He had the contrite look of a sinner in confession, it almost made you double-think what you were about to do.

“None taken but,” You’d moved to the doorway, ready to dismiss the class, “I hope you accept my apology.”

“Why?”

“You’ve just lost twenty bucks,” You grinned evilly at the sight of your Senior Chemistry class, for once, shocked into silence, Jubilee even dropping her designer Chloe handbag upon the dusty floor. The atmosphere was thick with the impending storm and with a hearty laugh, you sprinted out of your designated classroom, halfway-down the corridor before you heard the roar of the class.

You found out on Monday’s first period Chemistry class that Kurt Wagner was now in possession of Michael Jackson’s Thriller album, funded by a won bet.

[junker-town]

Here are the biggest NFL veterans who could be cut this offseason

Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

NFL teams looking to save some money means some familiar names will be looking for new homes.

The NFL’s salary cap leads to plenty of roster churn every year. Franchises are tasked with balancing expensive proven veterans with cheaper talent. That means some pricy athletes could find themselves looking for new homes — even if they’re still in their primes.

Last year, we saw former Pro Bowlers like Gerald McCoy, Demaryius Thomas, and Justin Houston excised in advance of free agency. This offseason has already seen All-Pro tight end Greg Olsen left to ponder his football future.

These are the other veterans who could join him on the free agent market, ranked by order of how much they can save their respective teams by leaving this spring.

Already gone

Josh Norman, CB, Washington

Savings from cutting Norman: $12.4 million

Norman was just one of many things that went wrong for Washington in 2019. He suffered through his worst season in the league, where he gave up more than 11 yards per target and accounted for -1 points saved, per SIS. That’s the lowest score among any cornerback who started at least five games last fall.

This sudden downturn at age 32 could put Dan Snyder’s former prized signing on the chopping block. The 2015 All-Pro has failed to reach that standard since joining Washington in 2016. As a result, the club plans to release him and make him a free agent this offseason.

#Redskins are releasing CB Josh Norman, source says. Intriguing situation to watch, as he now has time to find his new team ahead of free agency.

— Mike Garafolo (@MikeGarafolo) February 14, 2020

Wide receiver Paul Richardson, who lasted just two seasons into his five-year, $40 million contract with Washington, will be released as well. Ryan Kerrigan, 31 years old and headed into the final year of his contract with none of the $11.6 million owed to him guaranteed, could also be up for discussion.

Prince Amukamara, CB, Chicago Bears

Savings from cutting Amukamara: $9 million

Amukamara has been a steady, if unspectacular cornerback in his nine seasons as a pro. While he made 42 starts for the Bears the past three years, Chicago felt it could better spend the additional $9 million owed to him elsewhere. Like perhaps on a veteran quarterback to push Mitchell Trubisky for the starting job?

Marcell Dareus, DL, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Dareus: $20 million

Dareus, at his best, is worth $20 million+ annually. The problem is, he hasn’t been that player in several years. Even if he was, the 2020 Jaguars — currently with negative cap space — probably couldn’t afford him. As such, they declined his 2020 option and made him a free agent on the eve of the Scouting Combine.

Dareus broke through with a 10-sack season in 2014 that he’s been chasing ever since. In just six games, he averaged a career-low 2.2 tackles for an underwhelming Jaguars defense in 2019. More telling, those tackles came an average of 4.2 yards past the line of scrimmage, which is an untenable mark for a player who is supposed to be pushing blockers backward and creating chaos in the trenches.

While he can still be a useful presence in the middle of a defensive line, he’s due for a major pay cut this offseason.

Russell Okung, OT, Los Angeles Chargers

Savings from cutting Okung: $13 million

Okung’s release would have been a surprise. The veteran left tackle played well in 2019 when he was on the field — but that only lasted six games due to a pulmonary embolism and, later in the season, a groin injury.

While he was capable, he didn’t fit in with LA’s rebuild. Rather than release a Pro Bowl-caliber blocker, he’ll be traded to the Panthers in exchange for guard Trai Turner.

The deal is tentatively agreed to and is expected to be processed at the start of the league year: The #Chargers are trading LT Russell Okung to the #Panthers in exchange for standout OL Trai Turner, sources say. A swap of big-time OLs. Nothing is final until it’s official.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) March 4, 2020

Turner is signed through 2021 compared to Okung’s 2020, and his $12.8 million cap hit for the upcoming season is less than Okung’s $15.5m. His cap number jumps to $15.4m next offseason, however — so we could see Turner wind his way to this list in 2021.

A.J. Bouye, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Bouye: $11.4 million

Like Dareus, Bouye is a highly paid defender who has seen better days. And like his colleague, he’s looking at a change of venue this offseason thanks to the Jaguars’ cap crunch. He was traded to the Broncos for a fourth-round pick after news leaked about his imminent release in Jacksonville.

Bouye could be a boon for Denver, but he’ll have to put a disappointing season behind him. The former Texan allowed opposing QBs to post a 106.0 passer rating against him in 2019 while completing two-thirds of their passes with him in coverage.

With Jacksonville eager to find a way around Nick Foles’ cap-clogging $22 million average salary, Bouye’s departure may be the next step in a mini-rebuild of the Jacksonville defense.

Jimmy Graham, TE, Green Bay Packers

Savings from cutting Graham: $8 million

Graham wasn’t the red zone panacea the Packers hoped he would be when they signed him to a three-year, $30 million contract in 2018. After scoring 10 touchdowns in his final season with the Seahawks in 2017, Graham has just five scores over two years in Green Bay.

The Packers drafted Jace Sternberger in the third round in 2019 to take over as Graham’s replacement, but injuries limited him to only six games as rookie — and one target from Aaron Rodgers, which he dropped. Still, head coach Matt LaFleur must believe the second-year tight end is ready for a promotion, because Graham’s tenure in Wisconsin is over after two seasons.

Xavier Rhodes, CB, Minnesota Vikings

Savings from cutting Rhodes: $8.1 million

The Vikings have some very difficult decisions to make this offseason. After coming into the offseason with -$12.3 million in cap room — worst in the NFL by a significant margin — Minnesota had to cut some expensive veterans. First on the chopping block was Rhodes, who signed a five-year, $70.1 million contract extension in 2017 and struggled mightily in both 2018 and 2019. Per SIS, he gave up a 122.9 passer rating in coverage last fall.

Releasing Rhodes still left the Vikings over the cap, however. That led to DT Linval Joseph’s release as well. Together, they trimmed more than $20.5 from Minnesota’s 2020 salary cap.

The #Vikings have terminated the contracts of DT Linval Joseph and CB Xavier Rhodes.https://t.co/VIg4PYgTK7

— Minnesota Vikings (@Vikings) March 13, 2020

Joe Flacco, QB, Denver Broncos

Savings from cutting Flacco: $10 million

The Joe Flacco who led the Ravens to a Super Bowl XLVII win is no more. This is the era of a Joe Flacco who is barely a replacement-level passer.

The former Super Bowl MVP has been mostly forgettable the past five seasons, recording an 83.0 passer rating and a 26-33 record as a starter. He also had his lead role usurped in both Baltimore (Lamar Jackson) and Denver (Drew Lock) after midseason injuries. Rather than keep him in town as an extremely expensive backup, general manager John Elway decided to run with free agent signee Jeff Driskel as his No. 2, sending Flacco to the open market for the first time in his career.

Broncos just informed former Super-Bowl MVP Joe Flacco that he is being waived with a failed physical designation, per source. Flacco now joins a group of free-agent QBs looking for work. Three Super Bowl MVPs in headlines this week: Flacco waived, Foles traded, TB to TB.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 19, 2020

Dontari Poe, DT, Carolina Panthers

Savings from cutting Poe: $9.8 million

The Panthers are a Matt Rhule-Teddy Bridgewater team now. The focus on the rest of Carolina’s offseason has been clearing out its ballast tanks and absorbing new talent into the cap room it’s created.

A 30-year-old Poe didn’t have much of a role in a Panther renaissance. The space-clogging tackle would have been the third-highest paid player on the roster after a good, but not great season. General manager Marty Hurney declined his contract option for 2020, allowing him to sign with the Cowboys instead.

Sticking around

Sammy Watkins, WR, Kansas City Chiefs

Savings from cutting Watkins: $14 million

Watkins has shown flashes of star-making play throughout his six-year career, but has ultimately failed to live up to the potential that made him the fourth overall pick in 2014. This past season was no different. He began it with a three-touchdown, 198-yard performance in the Chiefs’ season opener, had just one 100-yard game in the next 13 games, and finished the year with 14 catches for 288 yards in the postseason.

That makes it hard to justify Watkins’ $21 million cap hit for 2020 — especially now that reigning Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes is eligible for what’s sure to be a massive contract extension. With Chris Jones careening toward free agency, the team’s decision may come down to either its second-best wide receiver or the defensive lineman who helped save a Super Bowl win.

Then again, in the biggest game of his life, he put Richard Sherman on roller skates.

Sammy Watkins diced up Richard Sherman, then Patrick Mahomes just had to drop a pass in the bucket pic.twitter.com/ezEyARIu26

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) February 3, 2020

That’s why the two sides came to terms on a restructured one year, $9 million contract that could pay him up to $16 million should he meet certain incentives. That move will shave at least $5 million from the team’s cap this fall.

Janoris Jenkins, CB, New Orleans Saints

Savings from cutting Jenkins: $11.3 million

The Saints claimed Jenkins after he was released by the Giants for a combination of on-field malaise and off-field concerns. He performed well in New Orleans despite the team’s sudden playoff exit, but his one-year, $11+ million cap number was too steep for the team’s liking. Not wanting to lose him in 2020, the team worked out a two-year extension that lowers that cap hit for the upcoming year but also allows head coach Sean Payton to walk away from him in 2021 with minimal dead salary cap repercussions.

Faced with a big cap number for CB Janoris Jenkins, the #Saints chose to sign him to an extension that could keep him in the fold in the future: It’s a 2-year, $16.75M extension based on new money, source said. So, 3 years, $27M overall with $10.2M guaranteed — all in 2020.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) March 25, 2020

No decision yet

Andy Dalton, QB, Bengals

Savings from cutting Dalton: $17.7 million

Dalton gave the Bengals nine seasons of mostly good, never great quarterbacking. Now he has no place on team ready to draft Heisman Trophy winner Joe Burrow with the No. 1 overall pick. Dalton’s career in tiger stripes is almost certainly over.

Even though Cincinnati will need a veteran quarterback to help ease Burrow’s presumptive transition from LSU to the NFL, it’s time for both sides to move on. The money saved by releasing the Pro Bowl quarterback can be spent acquiring weapons and bolstering the offensive line tasked with keeping Burrow’s jersey clean in 2020. The Bengals have already released one expensive standby this offseason; offensive tackle Cordy Glenn was released before the official start of the league year, clearing $9.5 million in cap space in the process.

Derek Carr, QB, Las Vegas Raiders

Savings from cutting Carr: $13.6 million

Carr’s future with the Raiders is very much up in the air. Reports suggest the franchise is interested in making free agent Tom Brady the face of its Las Vegas debut.

Brady may be a long shot, but this year’s free agent crop includes plenty of veteran alternatives should the Raiders want to swap out QBs. Las Vegas could also package its two first-round picks this April and move up to select a rookie quarterback at the draft.

The team has a lot of spending room this offseason, so moving Carr isn’t a priority, even if it lures a young QB to Nevada. He remains an efficient, if low-impact passer who could bring back a decent return via trade. There isn’t really a glaring reason for the Raiders to cut him loose, but this is Jon Gruden we’re talking about. You can’t rule out any splash-making move in advance of his team’s first season in Vegas.

Malcolm Butler, CB, Tennessee Titans

Savings from cutting Butler: $7.4 million

While he’s been steady in two seasons with the Titans, Butler is far removed from the form that made him an All-Pro with the Patriots in 2016. He’s been a good, if inconsistent, corner when healthy — and Tennessee is paying him like a great one.

The Titans have two major priorities at hand with both Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry barreling toward the open market. Carving out extra space for them could mean cutting Butler, who didn’t play a snap for the club in 2019 after Week 9 and thus missed the team’s Cinderella run through the first two weeks of the postseason. Dion Lewis, another former Patriot lured south with a big contract, has already been informed he’s no longer part of the team’s plans:

#Titans release Dion Lewis and Cameron Wake Roster Moves » https://t.co/56J1hYazCv https://t.co/ubnTnfqrE4

— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) March 12, 2020

Three other notable veterans — Wake, tight end Delanie Walker and kicker Ryan Succop — were each served their walking papers this offseason as well. Butler’s been better than Lewis was as a Titan, but if he can’t convince leadership he’s due for a bounce-back year, he could be next on the chopping block.

Nate Solder, OT, New York Giants

Savings from cutting Solder: $6.5 million

Solder was the first big-ticket signing of general manager Dave Gettleman’s tenure. He hasn’t panned out the way the Giants hoped, though. His 37 blown pass protection blocks were the most in the NFL in 2019.

He’ll turn 32 years old before the upcoming season, so last year’s struggles could either be an outlier in an otherwise solid career or the beginning of an age-related decline. He was the most important piece of an offensive line that allowed Daniel Jones to get sacked 38 times in 12 starts last season, a number that threatens to stunt the young QB’s growth if it isn’t remedied.

If Solder isn’t cut in 2020, this could be the former blindside protector’s last chance to prove he’s still an upper-tier blocker.

[junker-town]

Here are the biggest NFL veterans who could be cut this offseason

Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

NFL teams looking to save some money means some familiar names will be looking for new homes.

The NFL’s salary cap leads to plenty of roster churn every year. Franchises are tasked with balancing expensive proven veterans with cheaper talent. That means some pricy athletes could find themselves looking for new homes — even if they’re still in their primes.

Last year, we saw former Pro Bowlers like Gerald McCoy, Demaryius Thomas, and Justin Houston excised in advance of free agency. This offseason has already seen All-Pro tight end Greg Olsen left to ponder his football future.

These are the other veterans who could join him on the free agent market, ranked by order of how much they can save their respective teams by leaving this spring.

Already gone

Josh Norman, CB, Washington

Savings from cutting Norman: $12.4 million

Norman was just one of many things that went wrong for Washington in 2019. He suffered through his worst season in the league, where he gave up more than 11 yards per target and accounted for -1 points saved, per SIS. That’s the lowest score among any cornerback who started at least five games last fall.

This sudden downturn at age 32 could put Dan Snyder’s former prized signing on the chopping block. The 2015 All-Pro has failed to reach that standard since joining Washington in 2016. As a result, the club plans to release him and make him a free agent this offseason.

#Redskins are releasing CB Josh Norman, source says. Intriguing situation to watch, as he now has time to find his new team ahead of free agency.

— Mike Garafolo (@MikeGarafolo) February 14, 2020

Wide receiver Paul Richardson, who lasted just two seasons into his five-year, $40 million contract with Washington, will be released as well. Ryan Kerrigan, 31 years old and headed into the final year of his contract with none of the $11.6 million owed to him guaranteed, could also be up for discussion.

Prince Amukamara, CB, Chicago Bears

Savings from cutting Amukamara: $9 million

Amukamara has been a steady, if unspectacular cornerback in his nine seasons as a pro. While he made 42 starts for the Bears the past three years, Chicago felt it could better spend the additional $9 million owed to him elsewhere. Like perhaps on a veteran quarterback to push Mitchell Trubisky for the starting job?

Marcell Dareus, DL, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Dareus: $20 million

Dareus, at his best, is worth $20 million+ annually. The problem is, he hasn’t been that player in several years. Even if he was, the 2020 Jaguars — currently with negative cap space — probably couldn’t afford him. As such, they declined his 2020 option and made him a free agent on the eve of the Scouting Combine.

Dareus broke through with a 10-sack season in 2014 that he’s been chasing ever since. In just six games, he averaged a career-low 2.2 tackles for an underwhelming Jaguars defense in 2019. More telling, those tackles came an average of 4.2 yards past the line of scrimmage, which is an untenable mark for a player who is supposed to be pushing blockers backward and creating chaos in the trenches.

While he can still be a useful presence in the middle of a defensive line, he’s due for a major pay cut this offseason.

Russell Okung, OT, Los Angeles Chargers

Savings from cutting Okung: $13 million

Okung’s release would have been a surprise. The veteran left tackle played well in 2019 when he was on the field — but that only lasted six games due to a pulmonary embolism and, later in the season, a groin injury.

While he was capable, he didn’t fit in with LA’s rebuild. Rather than release a Pro Bowl-caliber blocker, he’ll be traded to the Panthers in exchange for guard Trai Turner.

The deal is tentatively agreed to and is expected to be processed at the start of the league year: The #Chargers are trading LT Russell Okung to the #Panthers in exchange for standout OL Trai Turner, sources say. A swap of big-time OLs. Nothing is final until it’s official.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) March 4, 2020

Turner is signed through 2021 compared to Okung’s 2020, and his $12.8 million cap hit for the upcoming season is less than Okung’s $15.5m. His cap number jumps to $15.4m next offseason, however — so we could see Turner wind his way to this list in 2021.

No decision yet

Andy Dalton, QB, Bengals

Savings from cutting Dalton: $17.7 million

Dalton gave the Bengals nine seasons of mostly good, never great quarterbacking. Now he has no place on team ready to draft Heisman Trophy winner Joe Burrow with the No. 1 overall pick. Dalton’s career in tiger stripes is almost certainly over.

Even though Cincinnati will need a veteran quarterback to help ease Burrow’s presumptive transition from LSU to the NFL, it’s time for both sides to move on. The money saved by releasing the Pro Bowl quarterback can be spent acquiring weapons and bolstering the offensive line tasked with keeping Burrow’s jersey clean in 2020.

Sammy Watkins, WR, Kansas City Chiefs

Savings from cutting Watkins: $14 million

Watkins has shown flashes of star-making play throughout his six-year career, but has ultimately failed to live up to the potential that made him the fourth overall pick in 2014. This past season was no different. He began it with a three-touchdown, 198-yard performance in the Chiefs’ season opener, had just one 100-yard game in the next 13 games, and finished the year with 14 catches for 288 yards in the postseason.

That makes it hard to justify Watkins’ $21 million cap hit for 2020 — especially now that reigning Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes is eligible for what’s sure to be a massive contract extension. With Chris Jones careening toward free agency, the team’s decision may come down to either its second-best wide receiver or the defensive lineman who helped save a Super Bowl win.

Then again, in the biggest game of his life, he put Richard Sherman on roller skates.

Sammy Watkins diced up Richard Sherman, then Patrick Mahomes just had to drop a pass in the bucket pic.twitter.com/ezEyARIu26

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) February 3, 2020

It’s possible the two sides find a middle ground on a restructured contract that extends Watkins’ contract while spreading his massive cap hit and guaranteed cash into the future.

Derek Carr, QB, Las Vegas Raiders

Savings from cutting Carr: $13.6 million

Carr’s future with the Raiders is very much up in the air. Reports suggest the franchise is interested in making free agent Tom Brady the face of its Las Vegas debut.

Brady may be a long shot, but this year’s free agent crop includes plenty of veteran alternatives should the Raiders want to swap out QBs. Las Vegas could also package its two first-round picks this April and move up to select a rookie quarterback at the draft.

The team has a lot of spending room this offseason, so moving Carr isn’t a priority, even if it lures a young QB to Nevada. He remains an efficient, if low-impact passer who could bring back a decent return via trade. There isn’t really a glaring reason for the Raiders to cut him loose, but this is Jon Gruden we’re talking about. You can’t rule out any splash-making move in advance of his team’s first season in Vegas.

A.J. Bouye, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Bouye: $11.4 million

Like Dareus, Bouye is a highly paid defender who has seen better days. And like his colleague, he could be looking at a change of venue this offseason thanks to the Jaguars’ cap crunch. The former Texan allowed opposing QBs to post a 106.0 passer rating against him this past season while completing two-thirds of their passes with him in coverage.

With Jacksonville eager to find a way around Nick Foles’ cap-clogging $22 million average salary, Bouye’s departure could be the next step in a mini-rebuild of the Jacksonville defense.

Janoris Jenkins, CB, New Orleans Saints

Savings from cutting Jenkins: $11.3 million

The Saints will have to figure out what to do with all three of their quarterbacks — Drew Brees, Teddy Bridgewater, and Taysom Hill — and are already strapped for cash heading into the new fiscal year. One easy space-saving move would make New Orleans the second team to cut Jenkins in the past three months.

The Saints claimed Jenkins after he was released by the Giants for a combination of on-field malaise and off-field concerns. He performed well in New Orleans despite the team’s sudden playoff exit, but his one-year, $11+ million cap number may be too steep. There’s a chance the Saints work out a longer-term deal in order to massage those numbers and keep him in black and gold moving forward.

Joe Flacco, QB, Denver Broncos

Savings from cutting Flacco: $10 million

The Joe Flacco who led the Ravens to a Super Bowl XLVII win is no more. This is the era of a Joe Flacco who is barely a replacement-level passer.

The former Super Bowl MVP has been mostly forgettable the past five seasons, recording an 83.0 passer rating and a 26-33 record as a starter. He also had his lead role usurped in both Baltimore (Lamar Jackson) and Denver (Drew Lock) after midseason injuries. General manager John Elway could keep him in Colorado to continue in his role as Lock’s mentor, or the Broncos could cut Flacco and invest a fraction of the savings involved to lure an available free agent quarterback to town instead.

Dontari Poe, DT, Carolina Panthers

Savings from cutting Poe: $9.8 million

The Panthers have a new coach for 2020. Olsen is no longer with the team. With Cam Newton’s Carolina future up for debate, there’s a chance we’re looking at a wholesale rebuild in Charlotte.

A 30-year-old Poe wouldn’t have much of a role in a Panther renaissance. The space-clogging tackle is set to be the third-highest paid player on the roster after a good, but not great season. With limited expectations for the upcoming year, he could be cut free as new head coach Matt Rhule looks to assemble his own roster.

Xavier Rhodes, CB, Minnesota Vikings

Savings from cutting Rhodes: $8.1 million

The Vikings have some very difficult decisions to make this offseason. With -$12.3 million in cap room — worst in the NFL by a significant margin — Minnesota is going to have to cut some expensive veterans. First on the chopping block will likely be Rhodes, who signed a five-year, $70.1 million contract extension in 2017 and struggled mightily in both 2018 and 2019. Per SIS, he gave up a 122.9 passer rating in coverage last fall.

Cutting Rhodes still leaves the Vikings well over the cap, however. Minnesota will have to trim the fat elsewhere, and that could mean one or two strong players winds up as an unexpected jewel in this year’s free agent crop.

Jimmy Graham, TE, Green Bay Packers

Savings from cutting Graham: $8 million

Graham hasn’t been the red zone panacea the Packers hoped he would be when they signed him to a three-year, $30 million contract in 2018. After scoring 10 touchdowns in his final season with the Seahawks in 2017, Graham has just five scores over two years in Green Bay.

The Packers drafted Jace Sternberger in the third round in 2019 to take over as Graham’s replacement, but injuries limited him to only six games as rookie — and one target from Aaron Rodgers, which he dropped. Still, if head coach Matt LaFleur thinks the second-year tight end is ready for a promotion, Graham’s tenure in Wisconsin could be over after two seasons. While the team hasn’t made an official decision yet, it seems to be trending away from the former Pro Bowler.

One potential play-maker hitting the market: #Packers TE Jimmy Graham is not expected back in Green Bay, sources say. The move with the 33-year old former free agent signing is noteable, though not a surprise for anyone involved.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) March 4, 2020

Malcolm Butler, CB, Tennessee Titans

Savings from cutting Butler: $7.4 million

While he’s been steady in two seasons with the Titans, Butler is far removed from the form that made him an All-Pro with the Patriots in 2016. He’s been a good, if inconsistent, corner when healthy — and Tennessee is paying him like a great one.

The Titans have two major priorities at hand with both Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry barreling toward the open market. Carving out extra space for them could mean cutting Butler, who didn’t play a snap for the club in 2019 after Week 9 and thus missed the team’s Cinderella run through the first two weeks of the postseason.

Nate Solder, OT, New York Giants

Savings from cutting Solder: $6.5 million

Solder was the first big-ticket signing of general manager Dave Gettleman’s tenure. He hasn’t panned out the way the Giants hoped, though. His 37 blown pass protection blocks were the most in the NFL in 2019.

He’ll turn 32 years old before the upcoming season, so last year’s struggles could either be an outlier in an otherwise solid career or the beginning of an age-related decline. He was the most important piece of an offensive line that allowed Daniel Jones to get sacked 38 times in 12 starts last season, a number that threatens to stunt the young QB’s growth if it isn’t remedied.

If Solder isn’t cut in 2020, this could be the former blindside protector’s last chance to prove he’s still an upper-tier blocker.

[junker-town]

Here are the biggest NFL veterans who could be cut this offseason

Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

NFL teams looking to save some money means some familiar names will be looking for new homes.

The NFL’s salary cap leads to plenty of roster churn every year. Franchises are tasked with balancing expensive proven veterans with cheaper talent. That means some pricy athletes could find themselves looking for new homes — even if they’re still in their primes.

Last year, we saw former Pro Bowlers like Gerald McCoy, Demaryius Thomas, and Justin Houston excised in advance of free agency. This offseason has already seen All-Pro tight end Greg Olsen left to ponder his football future.

These are the other veterans who could join him on the free agent market, ranked by order of how much they can save their respective teams by leaving this spring.

Marcell Dareus, DL, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Dareus: $20 million

Dareus, at his best, is worth $20 million+ annually. The problem is, he hasn’t been that player in several years. Even if he was, the 2020 Jaguars — currently with negative cap space — probably couldn’t afford him.

Dareus broke through with a 10-sack season in 2014 that he’s been chasing ever since. In just six games, he averaged a career-low 2.2 tackles for an underwhelming Jaguars defense in 2019. More telling, those tackles came an average of 4.2 yards past the line of scrimmage, which is an untenable mark for a player who is supposed to be pushing blockers backward and creating chaos in the trenches.

While he can still be a useful presence in the middle of a defensive line, he’s due for a major pay cut this offseason.

Andy Dalton, QB, Bengals

Savings from cutting Dalton: $17.7 million

Dalton gave the Bengals nine seasons of mostly good, never great quarterbacking. Now he has no place on team ready to draft Heisman Trophy winner Joe Burrow with the No. 1 overall pick. Dalton’s career in tiger stripes is almost certainly over.

Even though Cincinnati will need a veteran quarterback to help ease Burrow’s presumptive transition from LSU to the NFL, it’s time for both sides to move on. The money saved by releasing the Pro Bowl quarterback can be spent acquiring weapons and bolstering the offensive line tasked with keeping Burrow’s jersey clean in 2020.

Sammy Watkins, WR, Kansas City Chiefs

Savings from cutting Watkins: $14 million

Watkins has shown flashes of star-making play throughout his six-year career, but has ultimately failed to live up to the potential that made him the fourth overall pick in 2014. This past season was no different. He began it with a three-touchdown, 198-yard performance in the Chiefs’ season opener, had just one 100-yard game in the next 13 games, and finished the year with 14 catches for 288 yards in the postseason.

That makes it hard to justify Watkins’ $21 million cap hit for 2020 — especially now that reigning Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes is eligible for what’s sure to be a massive contract extension. With Chris Jones careening toward free agency, the team’s decision may come down to either its second-best wide receiver or the defensive lineman who helped save a Super Bowl win.

Then again, in the biggest game of his life, he put Richard Sherman on roller skates.

Sammy Watkins diced up Richard Sherman, then Patrick Mahomes just had to drop a pass in the bucket pic.twitter.com/ezEyARIu26

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) February 3, 2020

It’s possible the two sides find a middle ground on a restructured contract that extends Watkins’ contract while spreading his massive cap hit and guaranteed cash into the future.

Derek Carr, QB, Las Vegas Raiders

Savings from cutting Carr: $13.6 million

Carr’s future with the Raiders is very much up in the air. Reports suggest the franchise is interested in making free agent Tom Brady the face of its Las Vegas debut.

Brady may be a long shot, but this year’s free agent crop includes plenty of veteran alternatives should the Raiders want to swap out QBs. Las Vegas could also package its two first-round picks this April and move up to select a rookie quarterback at the draft.

The team has a lot of spending room this offseason, so moving Carr isn’t a priority, even if it lures a young QB to Nevada. He remains an efficient, if low-impact passer who could bring back a decent return via trade. There isn’t really a glaring reason for the Raiders to cut him loose, but this is Jon Gruden we’re talking about. You can’t rule out any splash-making move in advance of his team’s first season in Vegas.

Russell Okung, OT, Los Angeles Chargers

Savings from cutting Okung: $13 million

Okung’s release would be a surprise. The veteran left tackle played well in 2019 when he was on the field — but that only lasted six games due to a pulmonary embolism and, later in the season, a groin injury.

With a solid chunk of cap space available and a new incoming QB who’ll need protection, Okung is likely to stick around in LA. Even if he doesn’t, a Pro Bowl-caliber blocker is much more valuable for his team as trade bait than if he were to be cut outright. But we’re headed toward a Philip Rivers-free future for the Chargers, so who knows what’s next.

Josh Norman, CB, Washington

Savings from cutting Norman: $12.4 million

Norman was just one of many things that went wrong for Washington in 2019. He suffered through his worst season in the league, where he gave up more than 11 yards per target and accounted for -1 points saved, per SIS. That’s the lowest score among any cornerback who started at least five games last fall.

This sudden downturn at age 32 could put Dan Snyder’s former prized signing on the chopping block. The 2015 All-Pro has failed to reach that standard since joining Washington in 2016.

Ryan Kerrigan, 31 years old and headed into the final year of his contract with none of the $11.6 million owed to him guaranteed, could also be up for discussion.

A.J. Bouye, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars

Savings from cutting Bouye: $11.4 million

Like Dareus, Bouye is a highly paid defender who has seen better days. And like his colleague, he could be looking at a change of venue this offseason thanks to the Jaguars’ cap crunch. The former Texan allowed opposing QBs to post a 106.0 passer rating against him this past season while completing two-thirds of their passes with him in coverage.

With Jacksonville eager to find a way around Nick Foles’ cap-clogging $22 million average salary, Bouye’s departure could be the next step in a mini-rebuild of the Jacksonville defense.

Janoris Jenkins, CB, New Orleans Saints

Savings from cutting Jenkins: $11.3 million

The Saints will have to figure out what to do with all three of their quarterbacks — Drew Brees, Teddy Bridgewater, and Taysom Hill — and are already strapped for cash heading into the new fiscal year. One easy space-saving move would make New Orleans the second team to cut Jenkins in the past three months.

The Saints claimed Jenkins after he was released by the Giants for a combination of on-field malaise and off-field concerns. He performed well in New Orleans despite the team’s sudden playoff exit, but his one-year, $11+ million cap number may be too steep. There’s a chance the Saints work out a longer-term deal in order to massage those numbers and keep him in black and gold moving forward.

Joe Flacco, QB, Denver Broncos

Savings from cutting Flacco: $10 million

The Joe Flacco who led the Ravens to a Super Bowl XLVII win is no more. This is the era of a Joe Flacco who is barely a replacement-level passer.

The former Super Bowl MVP has been mostly forgettable the past five seasons, recording an 83.0 passer rating and a 26-33 record as a starter. He also had his lead role usurped in both Baltimore (Lamar Jackson) and Denver (Drew Lock) after midseason injuries. General manager John Elway could keep him in Colorado to continue in his role as Lock’s mentor, or the Broncos could cut Flacco and invest a fraction of the savings involved to lure an available free agent quarterback to town instead.

Dontari Poe, DT, Carolina Panthers

Savings from cutting Poe: $9.8 million

The Panthers have a new coach for 2020. Olsen is no longer with the team. With Cam Newton’s Carolina future up for debate, there’s a chance we’re looking at a wholesale rebuild in Charlotte.

A 30-year-old Poe wouldn’t have much of a role in a Panther renaissance. The space-clogging tackle is set to be the third-highest paid player on the roster after a good, but not great season. With limited expectations for the upcoming year, he could be cut free as new head coach Matt Rhule looks to assemble his own roster.

Xavier Rhodes, CB, Minnesota Vikings

Savings from cutting Rhodes: $8.1 million

The Vikings have some very difficult decisions to make this offseason. With -$12.3 million in cap room — worst in the NFL by a significant margin — Minnesota is going to have to cut some expensive veterans. First on the chopping block will likely be Rhodes, who signed a five-year, $70.1 million contract extension in 2017 and struggled mightily in both 2018 and 2019. Per SIS, he gave up a 122.9 passer rating in coverage last fall.

Cutting Rhodes still leaves the Vikings well over the cap, however. Minnesota will have to trim the fat elsewhere, and that could mean one or two strong players winds up as an unexpected jewel in this year’s free agent crop.

Jimmy Graham, TE, Green Bay Packers

Savings from cutting Graham: $8 million

Graham hasn’t been the red zone panacea the Packers hoped he would be when they signed him to a three-year, $30 million contract in 2018. After scoring 10 touchdowns in his final season with the Seahawks in 2017, Graham has just five scores over two years in Green Bay.

The Packers drafted Jace Sternberger in the third round in 2019 to take over as Graham’s replacement, but injuries limited him to only six games as rookie — and one target from Aaron Rodgers, which he dropped. Still, if head coach Matt LaFleur thinks the second-year tight end is ready for a promotion, Graham’s tenure in Wisconsin could be over after two seasons.

Malcolm Butler, CB, Tennessee Titans

Savings from cutting Butler: $7.4 million

While he’s been steady in two seasons with the Titans, Butler is far removed from the form that made him an All-Pro with the Patriots in 2016. He’s been a good, if inconsistent, corner when healthy — and Tennessee is paying him like a great one.

The Titans have two major priorities at hand with both Ryan Tannehill and Derrick Henry barreling toward the open market. Carving out extra space for them could mean cutting Butler, who didn’t play a snap for the club in 2019 after Week 9 and thus missed the team’s Cinderella run through the first two weeks of the postseason.

Nate Solder, OT, New York Giants

Savings from cutting Solder: $6.5 million

Solder was the first big-ticket signing of general manager Dave Gettleman’s tenure. He hasn’t panned out the way the Giants hoped, though. His 37 blown pass protection blocks were the most in the NFL in 2019.

He’ll turn 32 years old before the upcoming season, so last year’s struggles could either be an outlier in an otherwise solid career or the beginning of an age-related decline. He was the most important piece of an offensive line that allowed Daniel Jones to get sacked 38 times in 12 starts last season, a number that threatens to stunt the young QB’s growth if it isn’t remedied.

If Solder isn’t cut in 2020, this could be the former blindside protector’s last chance to prove he’s still an upper-tier blocker.