#the last few months I’ve actually realized this and consciously worked on fixing it

[nix-that-rad-lass]

I gotta be real, and I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I think trans men are the most valid men.

Women just do it better 🤷‍♀️

Plus since female is default I guess you could consider that FTM is much more of a biological capability than MTF.

Not to say you can change sex, but rather, I think that trans men are much better able to transition and pass, and having been raised and treated as women, tend to be more capable of empathy.

This is not to excuse the rampant issues of gender ideology or the medical mistreatment and abuse of dysphoric women and girls.

[mspufflehuff]

Maybe Kids Aren’t So Bad

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x plus size!reader

Summary: Y/N and Bucky have been dancing around their feelings for a while now. They decide to get out of the tower and go to the store. They happen to pass by some kids who are fans of the avengers. 

Word Count: 2.3k words 

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, torture, nightmares, and lots of fluff.

Masterlist!! 

Author’s Note: I saw lots of people liked my first fanfic! Soon after I saw people liked the first one, I started writing this one. I hope you all enjoy it because I sure did. Have a great day everyone who reads this! (gif below is not mine!!) 

"Does someone wanna go with me to go grocery shopping?" you asked the others in the tower as you stood behind the island.  Everyone had been awake for about 15 minutes and almost all of them were eating in the kitchen.  A few of them didn't hear you as you didn't say it very loudly.  Tony told you he had things to do, just like him.  Thor and Natasha said they had to train today and go to a mission briefing.  Steve apologized and told you he had to finish and turn in  the report for the mission he got back from yesterday. 

Soon Bucky walked into the kitchen.  He looked like he hadn't been sleeping, which you knew very well since you could hear him at night through the walls.  You wanted to comfort him but you were nervous since you didn't know him all that well to begin with.  He had arrived at the tower a few months ago and was very quiet with everyone except Steve. 

You couldn't deny that he was an attractive man.  You also had a soft spot for him since you knew what it was like to be alone and scared in some type of lab that kept you against your will.  You had been abducted when you were a teen and had been taken to some type of scary lab where you were injected with chemicals.  The scientist had given you powers that allowed you to control the plants around you.  You could harness energy from them and control them by will. 

You could understand Bucky's nightmares and feel the pain in the sound of his screams at night.  You used to have those same screams and nightmares but learned to keep them from keeping you up at night.  You had started meditating, talking to people, training to release all your anger, finding hobbies that distracted you, and even simple things such as writing it down to then burn the paper you wrote it on. 

You watched as he sat down at one of the island chairs.  Most of the avengers had already left the room by the time he sat down.  You looked at him and gave him a soft smile.  "Morning, Bucky. Would you like some coffee?" you asked him in a soft voice, watching his ocean blue eyes move across your form.  "Yes, please…" he replied in a tired but sweet voice.  You grabbed the mug he used most of the time and filled it with coffee.  He watched how you got everything right about his coffee, down to how much he would naturally fill it. 

He was surprised and yet amazed you paid that much attention to him.  "Here you go."  You handed Bucky his coffee, and he grabbed it with his right hand, gently grazing your fingers as he held the handle.  He watched your eyes when your hands grazed.  He thought he saw something there sparkling in your eyes but wasn't sure as you turned away to get him something to eat.  You turned to grab him something to eat as well as to hide your light blush from your fingers grazing. 

You took another minute to turn back around so the blush could cool from your cheeks.  Handing him a protein bar, you picked up the cup of tea you had made yourself earlier.  "I wanted to ask if you wanted to get out of the tower and go to the grocery store with me?"  Bucky looked into your eyes as he thought about if he was up for it.  He had to think not because it was you, but because he was scared of people seeing him and running.  He hardly left the tower unless it was for missions or on the off chance he needed clothes to wear. 

"Sure, Y/N. I think that would be good.  It's a nice day out, and we can hang out together as we don't normally hang out."  He spoke with a soft smile on his lips, taking another drink from his coffee.  You smiled happily and nodded towards him.  "Alright then! It's a date! I'll let you eat, and I have to do a few things before we go out.  I'll meet you in the lobby around 12?" you asked, walking towards the end of the island, making your way to the hallway.  "It's a date.' Bucky agreed and smiled back, watching you walk off. 

~Time Skip~

It had been about an hour since Y/N and Bucky said they would meet up in the lobby for their 'date'.  You had been nervously pacing around your room after you heard the word date fell off of Bucky's lips. You didn't know what to do or wear. Well, you had an idea of what you would wear, but would it make you weird? Finally, you decided on a cute sundress since it was sunny and warm outside. You fixed your hair, put on light makeup (or no makeup if you don't wear any), and picked out your comfy pair of vans. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you let out a sigh and thought you were trying too hard to look cute for Bucky. "Why am I dressing like we are actually going on a date?" You asked yourself aloud and towards the mirror. 

You grabbed your phone and looked at the time, grabbing your small purse while walking out the door. Making your way to the elevator, Bucky stepped out of his room in a pair of comfy clothes. He was wearing a navy blue shirt with some light blue jeans. He tried to look nice like you did. He had brushed his hair back some and looked relaxed. He soon noticed you and gave you a smile, the one that usually melts you into a puddle. 

"Oh hey, Doll…  Wow  You look so pretty…" he tells you softly as you walk up towards him. "You look pretty handsome yourself." you replied, shyly smiling as you both walked towards the elevator.  "I have a list on my phone of what we need to get for everyone.  I was also thinking of cooking and baking tonight for everyone." you told Bucky as you turned on your phone.  "What were you planning on cooking?" he asked, pressing the button for the lobby. 

"Hmm…  I don't know just yet.  I was thinking of making something called Beef Tripe soup. It's a famous dish in Romania, and I've always wanted to travel to Romania, or well anywhere that isn't here in the United States." You rambled a little as you rode the elevator with Bucky.  "Sorry... I love to cook and bake.  I grew up baking and cooking with my mom before I was kidnapped."  You smiled as you reminisced about your memories with your mother.  "Doll, it's ok.  You can ramble to me.  I enjoy hearing from you talking about food and different recipes."  He then took in the last sentence that you were kidnapped.  Steve had briefly mentioned you had been kidnapped but never went any further than that.  "If you don't mind me asking, how were you kidnapped?"  He was curious but didn't want to bring up any painful memories the kidnapping had created for you. 

"Well, I was at home and working on homework for school, boring, I know."  You chuckled and thought back to it.  "I remember sitting at my desk and having my earbuds in.  I realized it was around maybe 10 pm, and I was hungry for a small snack.  So, I went downstairs with my earbuds still in my ears.  As I made my way to the kitchen, I felt someone or something looking at me.  I turned around to see a guy in all black.  He ran towards me before I could scream for help.  He knocked me out and took me to this disgusting lab, had me strapped on an old medical operating table."

Bucky listened to you, pissed beyond belief that someone kidnapped a random girl from her house.  Let alone the fact that you were only a teenager when you got kidnapped, which made his blood boil.  You continued, not noticing Bucky's face.  "For years, he would test on me, come up with new experiments and chemicals to put into my body.  Finally, one day after he said he found 'the perfect formula,' he tested it on me.  After hours of being in excruciating pain, I found out that I could control plants…  There was a weed growing in front of the small window he kept in his lab.  It was the only window that had access to sunlight.  I remember him beating me, and as I was begging him to stop, the plant grew larger as if it felt my pain and came to help me." 

"It kept growing as he kept beating me into submission so he could test more chemicals on me.  After what felt like an hour of beating me up, the plant managed to become this massive accumulation of weeds, flowers, leaves, and any other plant material it could find.  It made its way to the man and wrapped around him, pulling him away from me. The plants started strangling him.  He eventually lost consciousness and once the plant realized he was passed out, it started wilting slowly and soon died.  You could say my pain was what caused the plants to save me." 

Bucky was watching you in awe, though he seemed upset (at the man, never you) at your story. "Wow, Doll…  I can't believe that happened to you.  I'm so sorry." he told you, and you gently took his metal arm and held his hand, smiling softly up at him.  "Thank you, Buck.  I really appreciate it.  It took some time to get over it and the pain of the nightmares, but I'm stronger than I used to be because of it."  You let go of his hand when the elevator dinged to let you know you made it to the lobby. 

You both walked out of the elevator and to the grocery store that was around the block.  You walked in casual silence and grabbed a shopping cart once you entered the small store.  Bucky helped you get everything on the list and a few ton of other things you didn't really need but was requested by the other avengers.  After what felt like a long time, you and Bucky finally finished shopping and headed towards the checkout section. 

As you and Bucky made your way over to the checkout section, you both heard soft gasps from behind you.  You both then heard whispering that sounded like it belonged to some children.  "Is that really him, Charlie?!"  "It has to be Dante!!"  Soon, the sound of running could be heard coming from behind you and Bucky.  You looked towards Bucky to see if he heard it as well.  He had.  As you both turned around, you saw two young kids that looked to be around 6 or 7, running towards you both. 

The two kids, Charlie and Dante, you assumed, stopped in front of you.  They look up with awe on their faces at you and Bucky.  "Mr. Winter Soldier??" The little boy asks Bucky with a bright smile on his face.  "Uh.. yes?" he asks as he moves to stand on one knee before the little boy.  "Can I have your autograph??  Please, Mr. Winter Soldier!  You're my favorite superhero!!"  Bucky was taken back at the boy's words.  "O-oh sure!"  He was excited that a young child wanted his autograph after everything he's done as the winter soldier.  He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing Dante a note before signing it. 

Bucky handed Dante the note with a smile. Immediately after he gave Dante the signed paper, Dante gave Bucky a big hug. "Thank you so much, Mr. Winter Soldier!!" Dante told him happily and ran over to his mom.  Charlie was talking with Y/N the whole time Bucky was with Dante.  "Ms. Y/L/N?" She shyly asked you while tugging on your dress lightly.  "Yes, hun?" you asked with a smile and moved down to her eye level.  "Are you Mr. Winter Soldier's girlfriend?"  You blushed dark, and your eyes widened at Charlie's words. 

"Uh… well, that's a complicated sweetheart.  Maybe one day." you tell Charlie, and she smiles brightly and squeals, running off to her mom and brother.  Bucky, thankfully, didn't hear you tell Charlie you hoped to be his girlfriend one day.  After you talked with the kids, you paid for all your groceries and walked back to the tower. 

"Hey, Doll?" Bucky asked, looking at you as you walked beside each other on the street.  "Yes, Bucky?" you replied, glancing at him before turning your head to look in front of you.  "What did that little girl ask you? I heard her say something, but I couldn't make it out." he asked you curiously, having wondered since they left the grocery store a few minutes ago.  "Oh yeah. She did ask me something.." you said softly as you kept walking, not telling him as you were scared he wouldn't like you back. 

"Y/N, was it something bad?  Something that made you think of past memories?"  He stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk, gently grabbed your hand.  "No, no, Bucky, I promise!  It's just… embarrassing…"  He tilted his head like a confused puppy looking at you.  You took a minute before you let out a sigh.  "She asked me… if I was your girlfriend."  You looked away for a second before looking back at him. 

"Oh... " he mumbled out softly and looked away from your gaze.  You were scared that he would reject you, but you had no time to react as he said, "Well, would you like to be?"  Your eyes widened, and you blinked a few times.  It took you a minute to come back with a response.  You soon found yourself smirking, asking him, "Why don't you take me on a date first, Barnes?"  You took your hand out of his and walked into the Avengers tower, feeling confident in yourself.  As you left Bucky on the sidewalk to walk into the tower, you heard an excited Barnes exclaim, "Finally!"  You giggled as you continued into the tower. 

[artzychic27]

The Artist Family? (new movie)

A month has passed since Marc and Nathaniel met and fell in love at age fourteen, now they’re dating

To celebrate their one month anniversary, they decide to visit one of the most romantic spots ever- The burned-down forest they met in- Only to run into some trouble

The mobs from their previous homes have still been looking for them since the incidents and were finally able to track them down

The couple manage to escape the angry mob with the help of Marc’s spiders and a friendly severed hand who cause a distraction

So they can get away quicker, That drives them in an old hearse he found in a graveyard

Marc: Mi querido, why must hoards of angry villagers follow us everywhere?

Nathaniel: *Kissing Marc’s hand* Meyn ziskeyt, I swear to you, we will find someplace so dark, so sinister, so dastardly that no one in their right mind would be caught dead in!

*They arrive in Paris*

Nathaniel: Huh. I see it’s changed over the last few centuries. And I’m noticing a lack of guillotines.

As they lament about how they can’t keep running for the rest of their lives, That, who was recklessly driving, runs over something in the middle of the road, right near an old funeral home shrouded by fog and cut off from the rest of the city

Marc/Nathaniel: *Excitedly* We hit something!

They rush to see who or what they’ve hit, and see that the figure is a blonde, pale young man who seems to have most of his organs missing

They realize that the person they ran over is Félix Culpa, a young man who died centuries ago, but was never given a funeral because the mortician prepping him got the plague. He regains consciousness and goes to attack the two, but Nathaniel just hands him their bags

Nathaniel: Thanks, man. Hey, you mind showing us around the place?

And that’s how Félix became their butler

When they arrive at the old funeral home, they’re given a very warm welcome.

Spirit of the House: GET OUT!

Marc: ... It’s hideous.

Nathaniel: It’s horrible...

Marc/Nathaniel: It’s home.

Weeks goes by, and more people begin to occupy the home, making amazing first impressions

Marinette and Alix actually snuck in and have been living in the walls for a short period of time until Félix found them

Marc found Rose resting in one of the open graves in the backyard

And Juleka Samara-crawled out of the swamp with her hair covering her face

The six of them share their backgrounds, sympathize with each other about how they were run out of their homes, and make the decision to change their last names to Artist

Now they’re sixteen while Alix is still fifteen

Meanwhile, down in Paris, Gabriel Agreste is taking the fashion world by storm, and his clothing (All basic and dull) is a big hit in Paris (For reasons no one understands but they won’t say anything for fear of not fitting in)

His son, Adrien Agreste goes for a bike ride through the woods with his two friends, Nino and Alya, where they come across the gate that separates outsiders from the Artists’ home

They’re immediately scared away when Marinette opens the creaking gate that sounds like the end of the world when opened

Also, Alix’s sinister sixteen is coming up in a few weeks, and part of the celebration is a swordfight, which she is nowhere near ready for

Nathaniel: Alix, you need to practice. It’s the day your family and friends judge you and pass judgement on your worth as a human being!... It reminds me of Hanukkah.

During one dinner, Marinette asks a question that shocks everyone

Marinette: Do you guys think things beyond the gate have changed?

Juleka: ... What?

Marinette: It’s been years, surely things must be different now. Earlier today, I swore I heard people.

Marc: Outside is forbidden.

Marinette: But-

Marc: Forbidden!

Back in the city, Gabriel is anticipating the arrival of tourists to buy his new line of clothing which he calls, Conformist

While filming a commercial, a red balloon floats astray and makes its way towards the Artists’ home, which Marinette finds as she’s “helping” Alix prepare for the Swordfight

Alix: Why are you helping me?

Marinette: Because. You are like my sister... And... I... Love... You...

Alix: ... You seem trustworthy.

Big mistake

Marinette: *Walks inside with the balloon* Good news, Alix is gone.

Marc: *Holding a sword to Nathaniel’s neck* Mari, go dig up Alix.

Marinette: You and Nathaniel are once again weakening this generation.

Nathaniel: *Points to balloon* Mari, where did you get that?

Marinette: I’m not sure.

Marc: Strange. There’s usually a murderous clown attached to the other end of these.

Juleka: *Gasp!* And what is this?! *Plucks a piece of pink confetti off of Marinette’s shoulder*

Nathaniel: Smells like cotton candy. *Off their confused looks* I was young and stupid, alright?

The Artists go outside where they find rainbow confetti raining down, and the fog that covers their home is lifting up, revealing to them the town

Much to Marc’s protests, Nathaniel suggests they go see the place for themselves

Marinette: This day is becoming most miraculously disruptive.

While filming another commercial, the Artist Family’s house is in the camera’s shot, and Gabriel passes out the second he sees it

*Somewhere else* Nino: ... I feel an overwhelming sense of... Joy.

The Artists arrive in their hearse, and immediately capture the attention of the other Parisians. They’re given strange looks wherever they go, and sometimes people run away screaming

No one has run them out with pitchforks yet. Yay!

Alix: Guys! *Pulls a tire off of a police car* They’re just giving these away!

Juleka: Alix, mind your manners, people might want tires, too.

After getting coffee grounds, the Artists come across Adrien, Alya, Nino, Chloé, and Lila in the park, prancing around in pink and blue outfits and singing about being conformists

Rose: Wow... That is absolutely horrible!

Marinette: ... *Dumps coffee grounds* I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. However, that blonde boy... Intrigues me

And it seems the feeling is mutual when Adrien steals glances at the gothic girl with braids

Rose: ... Yeah, I’m done with this song. *She hikes up the hem of her robe, releasing hundreds of bats that scare off the crowd* Done and done!

Done with these people, Marc wants to leave, Nathaniel insists that things have changed, but his boyfriend is still reluctant... Cue Gabriel

He insists on hiring interior decorators to fix up the Artists home (So tourists aren’t scared off) Marc, with some urging from Nathaniel allows him to do so.

Marinette: That man seems deranged. His face reminds me of a death mask.

*Somewhere else* Nino: In the future... I will have a new friend. Blue hair. Braids.

Back at the Artists Home, Nathaniel, Juleka, and Rose help Alix prepare for her Swordfight

Rose: Of all the Sinister Sixteens I’ve seen, Nathaniel’s was the stuff of legends.

Juleka: So no pressure!

Gabriel, Adrien, the design crew, and the news crew arrive, ready to remove the gloom and macabre form the Artists’ home

Félix: *Answers the door* Youuuuuu raaaaaanng?

Adrien: *Calling Alya and Nino* Hey, so I’m going into the creepy mansion. If I don’t come back, I’m dead... I love you too, Nino... Yes, Alya, I know he’s your boyfriend.

Much to his relief, Adrien is left outside and goes around back to explore

Gabriel: I do hope this isn’t a bad time.

Nathaniel: The worst!... Do come in.

Gabriel spends most of the time making light criticisms and jabs at the decor, the Artists themselves, their clothes, and Marc’s spiders (Which he considers the greatest insult)

Meanwhile in the backyard, Adrien is nearly killed by a crossbow. To his horror and awe, he finds the shooter: Marinette in all of her dark glory

Immediately, he develops a small crush on her. She’s not like the other girls at school who constantly cling to and flirt with him because of his father’s wealth

He tries his hand at impressing her by shooting an arrow, but accidentally shoots Rose, which actually does impress Marinette

Adrien: So, why haven’t I seen you and your siblings at school?

Marinette: We’re coven-schooled. But, blondie, do tell... *Leans in close so she can hear Adrien’s rapid heartbeat* Can anyone attend your school?

Gabriel and his crew leave, having made no renovations to the Artists’ home. And when Nathaniel explains that family and friends will be coming over for Alix’s Sinister Sixteen, that just motivates the designer even more

Down in Gabriel’s secret lair, he spies on the Parisians through a social media app where he fills the comments section with rumors about the Artists, saying they’re anarchists and breed spiders... Okay, so they’re not all rumors

*The Next Day* Nathaniel: Monochrome, I know the man is an eccentric, but- *Marinette appears behind him* Aah!

Marc: Mari, you know Nathaniel scares easily. Practice your lurking on someone else. *Marinette appears behind him* Better. Now what’s on your mind?

Marinette explains that she wants to atener school, much to Marc’s horror and Nathaniel’s excitement. She needs to torment more kids her own age.

Marc doesn’t want her to go, worried she might fall under the influence of the... Conformists, but Nathaniel somehow convinced him

Marinette walking into school: Ah, so these are the gates of hell.

Adrien, while being crowded by girls he doesn’t even like (Especially Lila and Chloé) becomes awestruck when he sees Marinette walking in. She looks like a beautiful demon queen

Lila and Chloé see this and try to intimidate her, but this is what Marinette says,

Marinette: Listen you future plastic surgery disasters, I’m not locked in here with either of you. You and your outdated, distasteful “outfits” are locked in here with me. And don’t you forget it.

Alya just might dump Nino so she can ask this girl out. Polyamory works too. / Adrien: Back of the line.

Mendelive’s biology class: They’re dissecting frogs.

Adrien: Aw, I feel bad for doing this.

Marinette: Relax. Rose showed me how to do this hundreds of times. *Cue Frankenstein equipment* FLIP THE SWITCH! *Adrien flips the switch and electrocutes all of the frogs* LIVE! LIVE MY CREATURE!

The frogs come to life and attack Lila and Chloé. Karma at its finest. Alya and Nino are impressed by her more than ever

Alya: It is an honor and a privilege to watch you work, spooky girl.

Back at the Artists’ Home, it’s game night! They’re playing the game of Death, but Marc isn’t focused. It’s late and he’s wondering where Marinette is

Finally, she arrives, but much to Marc’s horror, she has a Ladybug hair clip! He’s in so much shock that his face flushes red and a bat has to drink his blood

Marc: What. Is. That?

Marinette: Adrien calls it a “Pop of color” says it brings out my... Smile.

Marc: You don’t have a smile.

In order to see what’s going on with his sister/friend, Marc suggests they do ‘Tea & Seance’ like old times... Only she bails to hang out with Adrien, and they give each other makeovers as acts of rebellion

Meanwhile, Alix is upset because she still can’t get the hang of sword fighting and Nathaniel has been working so hard to help her

Marinette returns from her hangout with Adrien, almost making Marc faint when she shows up wearing pink and her hair in pigtails.

Marc: Okay, this is where I sever the line! You are not going back to that school!

Marinette: *Gives him the evil eye before leaving* You can’t tell me what to do.

Juleka: Dear Hades, that is some evil eye.

Horrified by Adrien’s new gothic look and attitude, Gabriel spreads more rumors about the Artists

Frustrated by the lack of support from her family/friends, Marinette runs away and goes to stay with Adrien

Alix: I always knew it would end up like this. Just didn’t know when.

Marinette: Farewell, Alix! I will never forget you, but I’ll try.

The next morning, Marinette, Alya, and Nino are helping Adrien look for his phone, which Gabriel his hidden punishment for his new look

While looking, they stumble across Gabriel’s lair and discover he’s been spying on everyone in Paris. Gabriel discovers them snooping and locks them in Adrien’s room while he goes to greet the tourists... And some unexpected guests

Nathalie: *Dials Gabriel* Gabriel, it’s an emergency. They’re here! The Artist Family!

The Artists more... Eccentric family members (Gina Dupain, Uncle Wang, Master Fu, Luka, Fei, Jagged, Penny, and the art teacher for example) have arrived to attend Alix’s sinister sixteen.

Things are going well so far. Juleka reunites with Luka, Fei battles Gina to the death, but Marinette still hasn’t arrived, so they do the sword fight without her... Which Alix fails.

As Nathaniel consoles her, a cannonball shoots through the wall. Gabriel somehow got a catapult for the mob to use

Marc: It’s Gabriel. He’s turned the town into a mob.

Juleka: I oddly admire his determination.

While the mob fires more cannonballs and destroy the house, Alix tosses her sword and grabs her explosives, successfully protecting her family... Until a cannonball blocks their only exit and she runs out of ammo

Just as the ceiling begins to fall and it seems like the end, Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and Nino come in just in time and save them all thanks to the possessed tree

She and Marc reconcile

Marc: I’m so glad you came back.

Marinette: Of course. There was no way you all could survive without me. You’re like weak kittens.

The Parisians begin having regrets about attacking the Artists (Mainly cuz they almost killed a bunch of kids), but this is interrupted by Gabriel

Gabriel: I will relish hounding you all until that nuclear waste dump you call is house is destroyed with you all in it!

Juleka: Oh, you are just begging to be dragged down to hell, aren’t you, Gabriel?

Marinette: And this family will never run from the likes of you again. *Her death glare stuns Gabriel*

Nino: Damn, I gotta learn how to do that.

Adrien finally stands up to his father and exposes how he’s been spying on everyone in the city while Alya live streams everything. Gabriel is now ruined

Months later, the Artists’ Home has been rebuilt by the guilty Parisians who learn to accept their new, weird neighbors. Also, the Spirit of the House has returned

Adrien and Marinette start dating while Alya and Nino share a mutual pining for the girl

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Into The Dark Side pt 1

So I wrote this a few months ago, and I wasn’t gonna post it until it was finished, but it felt kinda relevant after yesterday’s episode so here, take it

No Spoilers!! I didn’t add anything since yesterday (except for like fixing some grammar mistakes) so none of it was influenced by the ep. It’s an AU either way

Word Count: 2400

Rating: Teen

Pairing: gen

Warnings: swearing, suggestive language, threats of violence (Remus stuff)

~~~START~~~

“I want you to make me a Dark Side.”

Deceit raised an eyebrow at both the odd request, and the fact that the other Side thought he could just barge into his study without knocking. “Excuse me?”

“I know that you control the separation between the so-called ‘Light Sides’ and the ‘Dark Sides’. I want you to turn me into a Dark Side.”

“Indeed,” Deceit replied thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair. He was hoping to come off as casual and aloof, but on the inside, he was completely lost. “I definitely follow. Light Sides ask to become Dark Sides all the time, it’s never the other way around.”

“Thomas frequently asks for my opinion, but once I have given it, my opinion is ignored. I believe my function would be performed more efficiently if I were working behind the scenes, so to speak.”

“Yes,” Deceit leaned forward, steepling his gloved fingers under his chin. “Because Dark Sides are known for being listened to and respected.”

“If my opinion is not going to be listened to, then I would prefer everyone stop asking for it.”

“Hmm, very well. I won’t fulfill your request, but just know, everything in life is free. There is never a price to pay.”

“I do not care. I shall pay, whatever the price.”

Deceit smirked at the other Side, and held out one hand. “Then won’t you shake a poor sinner's hand?” He purred, watching the other Side closely.

He took Deceit’s hand without hesitation and was immediately engulfed in a blinding yellow light. The last thing he heard before losing consciousness was Deceit muttering “transformation central.”

~~~

“-you to make me a Dark Side-”

“-definitely follow-”

“-opinion is ignored-”

“-never a price to pay-”

“I do not care.”

Logan woke up in his bed, glasses still on his face. His room looked exactly the same except everything was in black and white.

Odd. Do all Dark Sides see in monochrome or is this some sort of practical joke played by Deceit?

He was scanning around the room, trying to decipher whether or not Deceit held up his side of the bargain, when he noticed that the lights were off. A glance at the clock told him that it was 5:30 am, much too early for him to be able to see anything more than vague outlines without a light on, let alone the most minute details on his periodic table poster.

Extremely odd indeed.

Cautiously, Logan made his way across the room to the light switch. He flicked the lights on, and suddenly all the colors of his room returned.

Interesting

Curiously, he switched the lights off again. Everything lost color immediately, but not clarity.

Very interesting. Perhaps Dark Sides can see in the dark. Further testing is required.

Leaving the lights off — he could see perfectly well in the dark so why waste electricity? —Logan headed to the bathroom attached to his room to begin his morning ablutions. He didn’t make it very far, however, because as soon as he caught sight of his reflection, he realized why he could see so well in the dark.

Ah, this is what Deceit must have meant when he said there was a price to pay.

All Dark Sides had animal traits. Deceit had snake scales covering random parts of his body, as well as a single snake eye and a forked tongue. Lust - while technically a Neutral Side - had black markings around his eyes, as well as having swan-like wings that jutted out from his back. Apathy also had black marks around his eyes - though his trailed down his face while Lust’s swooped back towards his ears - as well as an overly-large fuzzy sweatshirt that’s sleeves extend well past the tips of his fingers. Greed had intermittent scales like Deceit, though his were larger and shinier, and sometimes smoke came out of his mouth. Jealousy had opposable toes and a prehensile tail. The Duke had tentacles. And Anxiety… Well, Anxiety hid his animal traits well, but Logan was sure that he had some somewhere.

(And then of course there was Malice, Pride, and Rage, but while Logan was aware of their existence, he had never seen them before, and therefore did not know what animals they were represented by, nor how their traits manifest.)

Logan now had animal traits too. His glasses were now round with thick frames, and while his prescription hadn’t changed, they were now magnifying his eyes, making them look overly large and round. His eyebrows had gotten bushier and seemed to be permanently downturned, making him appear to be perpetually glaring. And worst of all, his hair no longer lay flat in a simple, professional style, but rather created two spikes on his head that seem to line up with the angle and trajectory of his eyebrows.

He was an owl. A great horned owl to be precise - and while owls were not known to be any more intelligent than any other type of bird, Logan understood that Dark Sides’ animal traits came from Thomas’ perception of animals, rather than from the actual behaviors of said animals.

This shall… take some getting used to. Still, it’s hardly a great price.

After several minutes of trying - and failing - to get his hair to lie flat, he gave up and decided to just start his day like he always did - with a strong cup of coffee and a nice, healthy breakfast.

Perhaps the hardest part of getting to the kitchen was that, other than his room, everything in the Dark side of the mindscape was a mirror image of how it was in the Light side, though, the fact that there were significantly more doors, and a good number of extra hallways that Logan — even with his more enhanced night vision — could not manage to see down didn’t help. It took him longer than he’d like to admit to make it to the kitchen, and when he got there, he was surprised to find he was not the only one awake.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Anxiety was sitting on top of the fridge, eating chips right out of the bag, and staring down at him.

Logan bristled a bit, which unfortunately meant his hair and clothes flared out like feathers on an agitated owl.

Unfortunate. I should make a note of that for the future.

Thankfully, Anxiety didn’t laugh at him (he wants to, though), instead he just continued to stare at Logan expectantly.

“What’s with the owl getup?”

“Ah, that. I made a deal with Deceit to become a Dark Side.” Logan answered, trying to regain his dignity. Anxiety stiffened at the answer.

“What was the price?” Anxiety demanded, gaze scanning quickly over the room, resting for a moment on a dark hallway that didn’t exist on the Light side, returning to Logan only when he found nothing to be out of place or unusual other than Logan himself.

“This, I presume,” Logan stuck his arms out to show off his unfortunate shirt-feathers. “I’ve become part owl. A bird characterized in popular media as being exceptionally smart, though in reality is of average intelligence for avians. A more accurate choice would have perhaps been a crow or a parrot, both of which are not only considered smart for avians, but for animals in general.”

Anxiety began shaking his head long before Logan finished his rant. “The animal traits are part of the gig, teach, not the price. What did Deceit ask for in return for making you a Dark Side?”

“I, uh, do not know,” Logan admitted slowly. In his haste to become a Dark Side, he had brushed off Deceit’s mention of a price, and now he was faced with the fact that he didn’t know what he paid.

“You don’t know?” Anxiety asked incredulously. Perhaps Logan should have been a little more like Anxiety. Anxiety would have never made a deal if he didn’t know exactly what the deal was, his overly cautious nature was what made Thomas double check the locks in his apartment before going to bed.

“No… I do not.”

“For being the smart one, you sure are a clueless moron.” Anxiety jumped off the fridge in one fluid motion, landing lightly - almost silently - on his feet in front of Logan. “C’mon, we’re gonna go ask Deceit what you paid.”

There was no room for argument as Anxiety grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the kitchen. Anxiety didn’t appear to be thrown off by the mirror image layout, or by the mysterious extra doors and hallways, but Logan supposed that was to be expected.

He has always lived here; he would know his way around much better than I. In fact, he would probably describe the Light Side as being a mirror image, despite the fact that it has the same basic layout as Thomas’s apartment.

“What are these extra hallways?” Logan asked curiously as they passed by two, one on either side. “And there appear to be a great number of extra doors.”

“Don’t go down hallways you can’t see down, and don’t open doors if you don’t know where they lead,” Anxiety ordered sharply instead of giving a proper answer.

“Why?” Anxiety let out an annoyed hiss, and yanked Logan to a stop.

“Just. Don’t.” He released his grip on Logan’s wrist and turned to the door that they’d stopped in front of. “We’re here.”

Anxiety rapped on the door three times. Nothing happened.

“Dee!” He called, knocking again, louder. “I know you’re in there! Open the d-”

The door flew open suddenly, banging loudly from its impact with the wall. A tentacle shot out of the impossibly dark room, wrapped around Anxiety’s wrist, and yanked the Side into the abyss before Logan could even process what was happening.

Barely a second later, another tentacle wrapped around Logan’s wrist, and yanked him into the room as well. The tentacle let go of him, and the door slammed shut again behind him, cutting off the only source of light in the pitch-black room.

“Anxiety!” A voice chuckled. “You never come to visit me! Oh I’m so touched!”

“Get off of me, Duke!” Logan could hear struggling a few feet away where both the Duke and Anxiety’s voices were coming from - as well as an interesting squwelshing noise. “I’m looking for Deceit, why are you in his room?”

“Oh, emo, you’re so funny!” The Duke laughed. “Deceit’s gone.”

“WHAT?”

“Oh yeah, seems he made a trade with a certain, discontent Light Side. I came across this empty room this morning and though it could fit sooo many butts in here, so it’s mine now!”

“Though I loathe to place myself in the middle of this conversation,” Logan interrupted. “Why can’t I see anything?”

“Cuz it’s not your room, dipshit,” Anxiety snapped.

“Now, Anxie, be nice to the nerd,” the Duke cooed. “He’s not from here.”

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, allowing Logan to take in their surroundings for the first time. The room was empty other than for himself and the other two Dark Sides, with nearly pristine white walls and carpet - though a splattering of… interesting colors littered the area around the Duke’s feet. Logan was about a foot away from the door with a tentacle reaching past him towards the light switch.

The Duke was standing in the approximate center of the room, about five feet away from Logan. His two human arms were wrapped around Anxiety, trapping his arms to his sides, lifting him off the ground, and clutching him to the Duke’s chest, while two of the Duke’s tentacles are wrapped around his legs to keep the anxious Side from kicking.

“Great,” Anxiety commented sarcastically. “Now lemme go you slimy-“

The Duke’s final tentacle wrapped around Anxiety’s head like a gag, cutting off whatever expletives were about to come out of his mouth.

“That’s better!” The Duke cheered. “Oh! My my, Anxiety, I didn’t know you were so kinky!”

The words spurred on another round of struggling from Anxiety, but the Duke held fast.

“Now, Archimedes,” the tentacle that had turned the lights on then wrapped around Logan’s wrist and pulled him closer to the conversation, though it was considerably gentler than when it had dragged him into the room - less like being kidnapped and more like having a child excited to show him something. “You can’t see in the dark in other Side’s spaces, it’s rude! You can only see in the dark in your room, and the common spaces.”

“What about all those hallways I couldn’t see down?” Logan asked, ignoring the silent glare coming from the trapped Anxiety.

“Oh those?” The Duke leaned in close enough that Logan could smell his foul breath. “Those are where the Darkest Sides live. The ones that give poor wittle Morality and Anxiety nightmares.” The Duke punctuated this by licking Anxiety’s cheek. “The ones that Deceit keeps under strict lock and key because even he’s afraid of letting them out.”

“Pride, Rage, and Malice,” Logan guessed.

“And me, of course.” The Duke dropped Anxiety in order to pose dramatically, arranging his tentacles around himself menacingly, but artistically.

Definitely Roman’s brother.

“But as I’m sure you know, Raerae, Octopi can fit through any opening they can get their beak through. All Deceit’s horses and all Morality’s men can’t keep me in the darkness forever. Every now and then, I get out and share all my fun ideas with Thomas.”

“Your ideas aren’t fun!” Anxiety hissed from the corner where he’d retreated to as soon as the Duke had released him. Logan noted his defensive stance, darkened eyeshadow, and involuntary hissing, and wondered if Anxiety’s animal traits were perhaps that of a racoon. “Now let us out!”

“Sorry, Tickle Me Emo,” the Duke giggled. He reached a tentacle out to open the door, but instead of the dimly lit hallway Logan and Anxiety had come from, beyond the door was pitch black. “I can’t open doors to the Dark Side unless someone lets me — like you did earlier when you knocked — but since Jay Jay the Jet Plane’s flown the coop, ~no one’s gonna come looking for you,~” the Duke advanced towards Anxiety, his posture and tone becoming less friendly and more menacing. “It’s just you, me, and Pigwidgeon here.”

~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~

To be clear: Lust is a swan, Apathy is a sloth, Greed is a dragon, and Jealousy is monkey

Ten points if you guess Virgil’s animal traits

Twenty points if you guess what Pride, Malice, and Rage are

General Taglist: @royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple

[keanureevesisbae]

eunoia - prologue

Summary: Sam is trying to adjust to a life post-Steve Rogers.

Sam Wilson x Quinn (Asian ofc)

Warnings: Some spoilers for Civil War, Inifinity War, Endgame and TFATWS

Wordcount: 2.2k

A/N: Did I just abandon my other wips to work on this one? Maybe. This story follows around 50% of TFATWS storyline, but it’s not identical. I honestly don’t know whether or not people are gonna like it, but if you do, please let me know 🥺Our boy Sam deserves all the fics 🥰

Masterlist // eunoia masterlist // 

Not a day goes by that Sam doesn’t think about Quinn. It was at the Joint Terrorist Centre’s headquarters in Berlin when he first saw her on security camera’s. While Bucky was being interviewed, a different set of cameras showed another interrogation room. It was nearly identical to Bucky’s room, though the difference was that there a woman was strapped in a similar containment cell. They had found her earlier that day and according to some intel she was part of another Hydra program, though there was not much known about her yet.

With the reactivated Winter Soldier Program, Sam tried to capture Zemo, before the fugitive disappeared into the crowd. Together with Steve, they took Bucky into an abandoned building. While Bucky slowly regained consciousness and both Steve and Sam being distracted, no one noticed someone sneaking up behind them.

In a twinkling of an eye, both Steve and Sam were tied up with one rope, despite the two of them being on opposite sides of the room. With a certain focus, the petite woman marched up to Bucky, ready to do whatever was her task. As her fingers wrapped around his neck, tips digging in his neck, Bucky seemed to recognize her. A soft ‘hey’ from the Winter Soldier was enough to snap her out of it.

The rope stopped cutting into Sam’s skin, as the woman looked around her. She dropped the rope and she ran her hands through her long black locks. There was something about her that intrigued him. Her eyes darted from one side to the other, before they landed on him.

Sam didn’t know her that long, but he could see that there were a lot of undisclosed feelings. She was confused, maybe even a bit scared.

She introduced herself as Quinn, though adding the fact that she had no idea what her  real name was and Quinn seemed fitting.

Just like Bucky, Quinn was also a target of Zero’s spree. She remembers Zemo breaking her out of the secret and deserted Hydra facility back in Munich, where she was put into cryogenic stasis. Zemo released her into the world, only for her to be caught within a few hours. She had no idea if that was Zemo’s intention, her getting caught that soon.

‘Just a few hours ago,’ Quinn explained, ‘there was this guy with black hair, questionable facial hair, who told me to catch a guy. It was a picture of you.’ She gestured towards Bucky, who tilted his head as his gaze softened.

‘You remember me?’ Bucky asked her.

She shrugs. ‘I don’t know,’ she whimpers. ‘I didn’t when he showed me the picture, but… There is something I sort of remember of you. You walked into the room, dressed in all black, looking visibly exhausted. You were in this other cell and looked at me and told me that it was all gonna be okay.’ Quinn let out a soft—yet meaningless—chuckle. ‘That’s not quite working out.’

Without any more painful questions, Steve suggested she came along and Sam and her actually fought alongside the rest on the airport, making sure Bucky and Steve were on that flight and just like the rest who stayed behind, they were imprisoned in the Raft.

Sam watched her, day in, day out. She was yet again strapped inside a containment cell within her cell, another counter measurement to make sure she was unable to escape. Sam saw how she kicked an entire van to the side on the airport, without breaking a sweat. It made him question whether or not she was just cooperating or if the restraints were really working.

Her petite frame was perfect for her to blend in the crowd, in contrast to Bucky, however strength wise, they were around the same level.

Speed wise, it was Quinn who had the upper hand there.

She simply sat in the cell, staring ahead of her. Sam wondered what happened inside her head, but when they made eye contact, all he could see was sadness and hopelessness.

At night, when the lights were dim and everyone was asleep, he told her that it was all gonna be okay.

‘How do you know?’

‘I just do,’ he said.

For the first time, she smiled at him. ‘And I just have to trust you on that one?’

‘It’s the wisest thing to do. Besides, what have you got to lose?’

After Steve freed them from the Raft, he did not know what to expect from her. Deep down, Sam kinda hoped she would join him. On the airport, it was obvious how well they worked together, but just like Clint, Scott and Wanda, she decided to live her own life.

And just like that, she disappeared.

Sam never thought he’d see her again, but when they all met in the New Avengers Facility, when they learned about Thanos’ plan to capture all the Infinity Stones, she walked in as if she never left. She stayed close to either him or Steve, not once speaking up about what she did in the meantime and Sam never felt like he could ask.

When they landed in Wakanda, Quinn took him aside and asked: ‘You got my back?’

He smiled at her, realizing that his efforts in gaining her trust back at the Raft and the Facility had helped. ‘Always,’ he promised.

But he didn’t keep his promise. He didn’t have her back like he promised.

Quinn was the last person Sam saw, before he disintegrated into ashes, together with half of the world population. Her hand on his cheek, as her eyes darted from side to side, slightly confused of what was happening, but also realizing that he couldn’t have her back anymore.

While Sam was aware that she was right there on the battlefield after they were all brought back, the first time he saw her was on Tony’s funeral. After Steve told him, Banner, Bucky and Quinn he was going to return the Infinity Stones and Mjølnir—looking back on it—it was obvious she knew what Steve decided to do. Sam can still hear the words that left her lips then: ‘Are you sure you want that to be your future?’

Sam did not know what it meant then, but he sure does now. After he received the shield minutes later of a much older Steve, Quinn did what she always does: disappear.

He never knew where she went, what she was doing and while he respects her decision, he still thinks about her. Every single day. His hope of seeing her again, hasn’t faded away and sometimes it frustrates him. He barely knew her, why is he so hung up on her then?

Sam lets out a sigh, as he drives his truck over the roads to his destination. It has been a rough couple of weeks. He is working closely together with the United States Air Force and after a few missions, he made his decision whether or not to give up the shield.

Without Steve, the shield is nothing.

He desperately needs a break from all of this and there is no place like Delacroix Louisiana to wind down from the hectic of an after Blip world. He had been there two times, but both times ended abruptly as the Air Force needed him.

Now, he has the time. All the time in the world to relax and forget about an Avenger like life.

Sam parks his car on the dock and his nephews AJ and Cass are the first to notice him. ‘Uncle Sam, uncle Sam,’ they exclaim.

‘Ah, there you two are,’ he says, hugging the two boys tightly.

‘How long are you gonna stay this time?’ Cass asks.

‘Awhile,’ is the answer he is giving his nephews, but that is mostly because he wants to keep them in suspense a little.

AJ scoffs. ‘That’s not an answer.’

‘Okay, okay, gotta give you that,’ he chuckles. ‘How about: at least two weeks?’

The two boys high five each other. His sister Sarah loudly places a crate on the ground. ‘Finally,’ she says, ‘took you long enough.’

‘Nice to see you too,’ he retorts with a smile, before giving her a hug. ‘Missed you.’

‘Of course you did,’ she says. ‘We missed you too, just like almost everyone here. Almost got me thinking that you’re the favorite Wilson sibling.’

‘That’s because I am.’ He carries the crate to where Sarah wants it and he smiles when his eyes land on the family boat. ‘She sure is a beauty.’

‘A broken beauty,’ Sarah says, ‘that is costing me a fortune.’ She places her hands on her hips as she says: ‘With both the house and the boat needing some fixing up, every penny I got to spare is going to the house.’

‘Is this about you wanting to sell it again?’

‘Yes, since I’m not willing to sell a working organ on the black market in order to afford its repairs.’

‘I told you I would fix it,’ Sam says.

Sarah rolls her eyes. ‘Yeah, you told me that months ago, but the boat still isn’t working. You know the situation, Sam, the thing’s gotta go.’

‘Sarah, you’re kidding. We grew up on this thing.’

She scoffs. ‘Yeah, I know, I was there. It’s just that I cannot afford it anymore.’

Sam sure loves his sister, but there are moments where he—just like back in the days—he’d want to put her behind the wallpaper, making her shut up. It’s always this doom thinking. Everything or nothing at all, there is no in between. ‘You know I can help with this.’

‘Yeah, big help you’ve been.’

Sam clenches his jaw. ‘Well, I’m sorry I was taken away by the blip.’

‘It’s not about you being gone for the blip,’ Sarah says. ‘It’s about the fact that there is too much for me to do here. I need to keep the house, so it’s either keeping the boat or the business and since the business is my income, it’s only logical that the boat has got to go.’

Great, he has been back for a few minutes and he is already having this conversation with his sister. ‘I’ve got this, Sarah, I promise.’

She doesn’t believe him, he can see it in her eyes, but decides to drop the matter. Maybe she realizes too that this is no conversation for them to have after he got back for only a few minutes.

The two of them step back on the dock, where his nephews are stretching out their necks, almost like they are searching for something. ‘Whatcha looking at?’ Sam asks. ‘See a pretty lady?’

‘Is that,’ Cass starts, only for AJ to exclaim: ‘Auntie Quinn!’

The two boys drop their stuff and rush over the dock to the woman Sam never thought he’d see again, let alone right here. Quinn holds out her arms and despite the boys being nearly the same height as her, she still manages to catch them both as they jump in her arms. They must’ve known about her enhanced strength, Sam thinks to himself, otherwise they wouldn’t have jumped right in her arms.

But that raises another question: how could they’ve known?

‘Auntie Quinn?’ he asks Sarah.

Sarah nods. ‘Auntie Quinn,’ she confirms.

She’s gonna leave it at that? ‘Care to explain?’

‘I think it was two weeks after you were blipped away. It was chaos here, like literal chaos. People were missing, I hadn’t heard anything from you. She walked up the dock and offered her help. I thought for at least a month she was an angel send from the heavens. She told me she saw you right before you were blipped away and that she went to your place back in DC. She found out about us and decided to see how it all went down here. Thankfully she did, because I desperately needed her help. She assisted with the business, helped raising the boys.’

To say he is confused, would be an understatement. ‘She stayed here?’ he asks. ‘During the entire blip?’

‘Oh yeah,’ Sarah says, holding up her hand to Quinn. ‘I think all in all, she stayed here for four years. Sometimes she went away for a few weeks, but she always returned. Near the end, she called me and told me that Steve needed her. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen her in a while.’

Sam can’t stop looking at the big smiles and chuckles being exchanged between AJ, Cass and Quinn. She hugs his nephews tightly and even from a distance he can tell she is scolding them for growing taller.

‘I think that without her,’ Sarah continues, ‘I barely would’ve made it. She was slightly clueless though. Had issues with the simplest tasks, like cooking and day to day stuff, but she’s a fast learner.’

It shouldn’t warm his heart like it does, but Sam can’t help but smile as he realizes that Quinn went on the look out to care for his family.

‘She told me she had no memories of growing up. Poor thing,’ Sarah says, shaking her head as she as well looks at the trio. ‘She tried so hard to remember, but in all those years she spend here, no luck. I wonder if she does now.’

She doesn’t. Sam doesn’t need to ask her, because he simply knows.

Quinn still doesn’t remember her past.

[shoutobabes]

An excerpt from an OCxShouto fic I’ve been working on:

———————————————

Todoroki Shouto hated formal events.

He had attended enough Hero Awards Galas as a young child with his father to soil his opinion of them nearly two decades later, a pro hero in his own right. But tonight was not about his father.

Still.

He drummed his fingers on the fine linen tablecloth and watched as the drink in his glass vibrated slightly with each tiny impact. Taptaptap. Taptaptap. Shouto allowed a small trail of frost to travel up the table inching toward the glass. The bottom began to dust with frost. The water at the bottom began to freeze. Taptaptap. Taptaptap. Taptap--

“Will you stop fucking doing that?”

Shuoto whipped his head up to see a pair of angry red eyes glaring at him. Bakugo drove an accusatory finger toward Shoto’s glass.

“You’re like an antsy kid,” Bakugo huffed. “I don’t wanna be at this shit-parade any more than you do, icy hot, but you don’t see me blowing up the fucking finger cakes, do you?”

“I’m not taking Kacchan’s side, Todoroki,” Midoriya spoke up from his seat between the two feuding heroes. “But you do certainly seem on edge and, well,” Midoriya gulped and glanced toward the stage. “Our category is two away and I’m nervous enough as it is.”

Shouto blinked. “I can stop tapping the table.”

“Yeah, and then you’re gonna start shaking your leg like you were half an hour ago before you started tapping the goddamn table,” Bakugo crossed his arms and faced back toward the stage. “Take a fuckin’ walk. Do a guided meditation in the men’s room, for all I care, but if you stay here you’re gonna piss me off.”

Shoto turned to face Midoriya, often the peacekeeper in these altercations.

Midoriya seemed to be very interested in his napkin.

“Alright, then,” Shouto stood and fixed his tuxedo jacket. “I can take a hint.”

“It’s nothing personal,” Midoriya waved his hands while shaking his head. “It’s just--”

“He gets it, Deku,” Bakugo rolled his eyes.

“Sorry,” Midoriya said, sheepishly.

“I’ll be back in time for the award announcement,” Shouto said as he walked away.

A walk was probably for the best.

Shouto wove his way through tables and chairs full of politely clapping patrons and pro heroes who were practically unrecognizable in their finery outside of their suits and gear. He recalled his father complaining about being forced into a tuxedo for these types of events. His mother would always wave them off wistfully, recounting times when she had been the No. 2 hero’s plus one while Fuyumi cried at being left behind and Natsuo would mope and pretend he didn’t care. Touya would just sit and stare. Until he didn't.

So lost in thought was Shouto, that he didn’t notice the girl in front of him until it was too late. Suddenly, he was staring at the empty glass in his hand trying to make his brain connect it to the growing wet spot on the front of the girl's dress.

Their eyes locked for a moment of shocked silence; silver and turquoise meeting violet eyes widened. A beat passed. Shouto regained his composure.

“My humblest apologies,” he finally said with a small bow. “I have no excuse. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I—“

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” the girl shook her head with a small smile. She had long, silver-white hair parted cleanly down the middle. “Not to brag or anything, but I’m kind of a dry cleaning expert.”

She lifted an arm and made a grabbing motion over her chest with one hand and Shoto watched as the spilled champagne drew itself out into a bubble of liquid. It hovered for a moment, then with a flick of the girl’s wrist, it flew into the pot of a nearby plant.

“Looked a little thirsty,” the girl said with a conspiratorial wink. “No harm no foul. Looks like you could use another drink, though.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Shouto raised a slight brow, elemental quirks were always fascinating and he met so few others with quirks like his. “I’m the offender in the situation, I feel as though it’s only right I’m the one buying you a drink.”

“Well then, it seems we’re in agreement,” the girl gestured to the corner of the room where the bar was set up. “We’re heading to the bar.”

Shouto nodded as the pair made their way over. He gave the girl a once-over; she seemed familiar but he didn’t recognize her as a hero in the Musutafu region or anywhere in Japan for that matter. She wore a simple, pale lavender gown.

“Gin and tonic,” Shouto told the bartender before nodding to his companion. “And for you?”

“Could I get a lemonade?” She asked, with a tilt of her head. “Oh, and if you have some sort of strawberry syrup could you mix that in, too? Thanks.” She grinned at the bartender as he nodded before walking away. She turned to Shouto who admittedly, realized he looked surprised.

“You don’t drink?” He asked.

“Can’t stand the taste,” she replied.

“I see.”

She studied him for a moment. Shouto felt as if he were under a microscope, being picked apart like a bacteria. Normally being analyzed like this would make his skin crawl, yet there was no malicious intent behind the girl’s eyes. Merely a curiosity, as if he were a puzzle she was trying to solve. The bartender brought over their drinks and the girl took a sip before suddenly breaking the silence.

“Why do you look like a turkey come late November?”

“I’m sorry?” Shouto squinted in confusion.

“My bad, I forget I’m not in the States anymore,” she self-consciously tucked hair behind her ear. “I meant to say, why do you look like this is the last place in the world you want to be?”

“The states?” Shouto asked. “Is that where you’re from?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I suppose, technically.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well to be fair, you never answered my question.”

“And what was your question?”

“Why do you look so miserable to be here?”

Shoto grimaced delicately and took a gulp of his drink. “Ask any other question and I’ll answer that instead.

“Ah, so this is off limits, then,” the girl waggled her eyebrows. “Fine. How about...what brings you here tonight?”

Shoto sighed. That, at least, he could answer.

“My agency is up for an award tonight,” he said. “My partners and I are here in the hopes we receive it.”

“An award! How exciting,” the girl gave Shoto a funny look, as if she knew something he didn’t. “I’m sure you’ll win.”

“It would be an honor,” Shoto said slowly, feeling as if he were being left out of some joke. “To know that the people we are striving to serve believe in us so much.”

“Of course,” the girl nodded. “Your turn. For questions, that is.”

Shoto hummed in response as he took another sip. “I’m assuming that inquiring about the reason you’re drinking lemonade is...off limits?”

The girl sipped her own drink through the small straw that had come with it. “You learn quick! Beauty and brains, the ladies must love you.”

Shouto’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “I wasn’t aware that having one precluded the occurrence of the other. Brains and beauty are two separate elements, their probability of occurring are in no way reliant upon the occurrence of the other.”

“Absolutely true, shame on me for assuming,” she nodded seriously. “But I didn’t hear a question there. Do you forfeit your turn?”

“No,” Shouto protested. “Fine. What do you mean you’re ‘technically’ from the States?”

“Oh, that,” she waved her hand absentmindedly. “I was born there, and I did spend my high school years there, but I spent most of my childhood here and this is where all my fondest memories are from.”

“I see,” Shouto replied.

“I think of myself as being from Kanagawa,” she clarified. “Coastal. I was always fond of the ocean.”

“Did that have to do with your quirk?” Shouto asked, recalling the way she had manipulated the liquid from her dress.

The girl opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by sudden loud cheering from the other side of the ballroom.

“That’s right folks— the award for Best Upcoming Agency goes to Plus Ultra! The hero agency run by graduates of our very own U.A. High School! Please give a hand to the heroes Deku, Dynamight, and Shouto as they come up to collect their award.”

“Shit,” Shouto cursed. He had promised Midoriya he would be back in time. “My apologies again, but I need to go immediately.”

“More apologies,” the girl joked, finishing off her drink. She set it on the bar next to Shouto’s half finished one. “Run along and don’t miss your big award!”

Shouto was already halfway across the ballroom. As he joined his partners on stage, Midoriya was at the microphone holding the award and delivering a speech of gratitude. Bakugo elbowed Shouto as discreetly as he was capable of doing anything discreetly and shot him a dirty look for being late.

“I deserve that,” Shouto whispered.

“Damn right,” Bakugo hissed.

“—in conclusion, we would just like to thank you all from the heart of the Plus Ultra Agency. We could not do this without your continued support and we will continue to go above and beyond to keep you safe! Plus Ultra!” Midoriya smiled brightly as he finished his speech.

The three posed on stage for a few quick photos, then stepped down.

“Todoroki, is everything all right?” Midoriya asked immediately. “It’s unlike you to be late.”

“My apologies,” Shouto cringed inwardly, he had apologized too many times tonight. The words were starting to ring hollow to even his own ears. “I was taking a walk when I accidentally bumped into—“

“Me, actually,” the girl from earlier materialized from the crowd behind Shouto as she stepped forward. “Literally, in fact.”

“Ms. Kagawa!” Midoriya gasped. “I had no idea you would be here tonight, I’m so sorry! I would have said hello earlier.”

Shouto blinked. How did Midoriya know her?

“Please, no formalities,” Kagawa shook her head. “Call me whatever you prefer, it’s just nice to finally meet you all.”

That’s when it clicked. Shouto recalled a team meeting from the month before.

———————

“Why are we bringing in some random chick, again?” Bakugo groaned, putting his feet up on the table from where he was sitting in the conference room. “We don’t need any extra help, hell, I could run this place alone if I wanted to!”

“Well, it’s like I said,” Midoriya replied patiently. “We did great for it being our first year as full heroes running our own agency together. But if we want to keep growing and getting better, we’ll need more than a few sidekicks and interns. We’re going to need another pro to help carry the weight and round out patrols. I thought we all agreed?”

“We did,” Shouto didn’t look up from his paperwork. “Bakugo conveniently chose to forget.”

“Fuck off, icy hot,” Bakugo said. “Whatever. At least this chick seems like she could give some of these thugs a run for their money. Wasn't she like, some big deal in America?”

“She was,” Midoriya clicked his pen nervously. “She’s had a, uh, difficult road. I’m hoping we’ll be able to help her as much as she’ll help us. Or at least that’s the plan. She won’t be here for another couple months, she’s wrapping up her personal business I think.”

“Mm,” Shouto intoned, absentmindedly.

—————————-

Shouto cursed himself for not paying more attention to important meetings. Yet, none of them had expected her so early.

“We weren’t expecting you so soon,” Midoriya said nervously, voicing Shouto’s thoughts. “You weren’t due for ah, another month?”

“You’re right,” Kagawa said sheepishly. “I closed in on an apartment here sooner than expected and, well, wanted to just get on with it.”

“Of course,” Midoriya nodded. “Ah, but we should do formal introductions!”

“Yes, right,” Kagawa nodded with a smile. “Well I already know you from our correspondence! Midoriya Izuku, hero name Deku, a pleasure.”

Midoriya smiled and they shook hands.

“Bakugo Katsuki, hero name Dynamight,” she cracked a lopsided grin. “I’ve heard...explosive things.”

“Shitty joke,” Bakugo shook her hand. “People only say the best shit about me.”

“Obviously,” Kagawa nodded before turning to Shouto. “And of course, we’ve already been acquainted. Todoroki Shouto, hero name Shouto, a pleasure.”

Shouto shook her hand. She had a firm grip. “I’ve made...better first impressions.”

“No, I enjoyed it,” Kagawa said. “It was genuine. You had no cause to act unnaturally to make a good first impression. It was...refreshing.

“That’s a polite way of saying he fucked up,” Bakugo chuckled.

She smiled. “Now for me, I suppose. Kagawa Ren, hero name Kaguya. But you’re hiring me, I’m sure you know.”

“We’re really excited to have you!” Midoriya said, beaming. “My, uh, my friend Uraraka--”

Bakugo barked out a laugh and Shouto suppressed a small smile.

Midoriya began to sweat. “Anyways, um, she- she couldn’t make it tonight because she had to go visit her parents but she’s been excited to have another female hero around. She says our agency is too filled with testosterone.”

“Sounds like me and Uraraka will get along swimmingly.” Kagawa assured.

“Are we still getting drinks to celebrate?” Bakugo said impatiently. “I told Kirishima he could meet us at that shitty bar we always go to.”

Midoriya ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, yeah, yeah we are, just, I wanted to talk with Kagawa about some details really quick.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “And we can’t do that at the bar? She can come, it’s her celebration now too, or whatever.”

“Just tell Kirishima he can meet us there in thirty,” Midoriya pleaded. “I’ll make it quick. Here, Kagawa, why don’t you walk with me back to our table? I’ll grab everyone’s things and we’ll meet Bakugo and Shouto by the front.”

Kagawa nodded and raised two fingers in a peace sign as means of saying goodbye to the other two heroes as she and Midoriya headed back to the table in conversation.

Shouto looked back at Bakugo who was busy texting.

“I suppose we should head toward the front,” Shouto said uncertainly.

“Yeah, whatever,” Bakugo clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket. “So, you talked to her.”

“I did.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Talking to you is like pulling teeth. What did you think of her?”

“I thought she was smart,” Shouto replied simply. “It seems like she’ll make a strong addition to our team.”

“That’s boring shit,” Bakugo huffed. “If Midoriya hired her then I’m sure she’s professional as fuck but don’t wanna spend my time around some shitty boring suit. So, is she gonna be annoying or not?

Shouto sideyed Bakugo as they turned and began walking toward the front. Social interaction had never been his strongest suit. Most interactions he felt like he was a step behind, or focused on the wrong thing, or someone would say something and he would think they were serious only to realize there was a second, different meaning attached. Mostly, he thought conversations were a bit of a minefield, especially with the wrong kind of person.

He thought back to the way Kagawa had studied him. No judgement, just-- curiosity. The good kind. Not like reporters who were always hungry for photos, desperate to know about his love life, dying to hear what restaurant he best liked to dine at so they could stalk him there later as well. No, her curiosity reminded him of when he and his siblings used to go play by the creek near their house as children, before Endeavor began isolating Shouto for training. They would freeze the water in the middle of summer and slide around, pulling frogs and turtles out from frost-covered hidey holes. One day in particular, they had found a small family of deer. They all sat very still by the edge of the water and waited patiently as the fawns ambled down for a drink under the watchful eye of their mother. One fawn had gotten so close to Shouto that their noses nearly touched, and he could smell the breath of the little thing, sweet and springy. He’d looked in its eyes and saw them searching his face. What it found, he did not know.

That had been the last summer of freedom.

“I don’t think she’ll be boring,” Shouto finally said.

“Another stunning review from half and half,” Bakugo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as the boys came to a halt in front of the entrance to the hall. “She better come to get drinks with us or I’ll think she’s a stiff.”

Shouto slid his eyes back over to the ballroom where Midoriya and Kagawa stood, gathering jackets and talking.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” he said.

[andromedarune]

[Vampire!Leon/Witch!Reader] “A Night of Tricks and Treats” (Halloween Fic~!)

A/N: HAHA, I did it! It’s later than I wanted to post this, but it’s here! So enjoy the story that y’all voted for: A Vampire!Leon AU, with cute/fun elements, and a black dahlia thrown into the mix (along with other creative liberties). Thanks to everyone who voted on that poll - this one’s for you!

Vampire!Leon x Witch!Reader - “A Night of Tricks and Treats”

Word Count: ~3k

Rating: Teen (mild blood, reference to death, adult language, spooky stuff)

The third set of feverish knocks on your front door pulled a frustrated groan from your lips. You were finally drifting off to sleep when some rando decided to assault your door at some ungodly time in the night (or morning, since you checked your phone to see that it was a quarter past three). Pouted lips set on your face, you groggily slip out of bed, hardly bothering to grab the cardigan that you kept slung over your desk chair. Another fit of knocks was just starting up when you threw open the door, ready to say a few choice words to your unfortunate visitor.

But unfortunately for you, this wasn’t just any visitor.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Leon gave a cheery smile, oblivious as ever.

Ah. Maybe you should have put on some better clothes. But you’re already this far in - you decide to just play along like nothing’s wrong. Knowing him, you’d at least have a couple of minutes before the awkward sets in.

“Uh, yeah… You do realize it’s three in the morning, right?”

Leon shrugged.

“I’m aware, but it’s so much easier getting here at night. You have no idea how annoying paparazzi can be…” You sink in your hip a bit, watching his eyes flit down past your head for the briefest of moments. He tries to meet your gaze again, but the awkward smile twitching with some odd emotion that settled onto his face cues you in that he most definitely noticed.

The weather’s been oddly warm despite it already being autumn, so you were still wearing your summer pajamas. Which, of course, were a simple set of purple Wooloo PJs. Short-shorts that were baggy and comfy, a tank top that was equally baggy and comfy. Nothing scandalous, but definitely more revealing than what you normally wear.

You can practically hear the dial-up sounds going on in Leon’s mind as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, one hand tangling itself around a strand of that obnoxiously long purple hair, him just desperate to find something to distract himself with. It’s kind of fun to watch, actually.

“Did you need something?” you eventually sigh, crossing your arms over your chest as a hint of self-consciousness rumbles through your gut.

“A-ah, right!” he snaps out of it and lifts up his arm. Carefully pulling back the sleeve of his casual red hoodie, he reveals to you his forearm. A large, dark-colored burn covers most of the arm, even reaching down to his fingertips. You can’t help but wince, leaning forward for a closer look. “I, um, could use some of your help with this, if you don’t mind.”

“Again, really, Leon?” you can’t help but scold him a bit. He laughs, anyways. “This is the third time this month - one of these days there’s not gonna be much of you left to heal.”

He mutters a soft apology, but you’re still playing like you’re irritated with him and spin around into your living room. You don’t make it far before you realize that Leon’s still standing just before the threshold.

“Oh, right - you can come in.”

“Thanks,” Leon sighs in relief, still holding his arm with a smile.

Just like always, you guide him through your house, leading the significantly taller man down the halls towards a dark down just at the opposite end of your little cottage house. Expertly, you unlock the mystical mechanism that you yourself created (probably seven or eight years ago now? Man, how time flies) to reveal the ominous, shadowy basement. The two of you descend down the steps; you pass by a set of candles and light them with a snap of the fingers, a sight that surely puts stars in Leon’s eyes. He’s always been a sucker for parlor tricks like that.

Leon waddles over to the simple wooden chair you have waiting near the center of the room, taking a seat to watch as you tugged on your long black cloak (the one you made a habit to keep hanging down here for these very instances) and began pulling out various ingredients from one of the numerous cabinets that lined the upper walls of the room.

“Wish you’d just commit to being nocturnal, already,” you couldn’t help but sigh, checking the date you had written on the little jar of beeswax you were inspecting. “If you keep getting injured like this, your healing abilities might become permanently disabled.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m still champion,” he laughed, seeming more amused by your reaction than anything. “I can’t just step down for no reason.”

“Sure you can.” You climbed up onto a lower shelf to dig further into a cabinet. You left that jar of chamomile here somewhere. “Gym leaders do it all the time.”

“It’s different for champions. We’re the best of the best, the image of the ideal trainer for our region. Galar isn’t known for giving up, so that’s not an option I’m willing to consider.”

You almost settle for the bag of rosemary, only to quickly set it back in the cabinet. That would be bad, using rosemary on Leon. You were trying to heal him, here, not destroy the guy. You decide to check another cabinet.

“I know, I know, Mr. Unbeatable Champion. I’m just saying that it hasn’t even been a year since you’ve turned and now I’ve basically become your primary medical provider. And you don’t even pay me!”

“I pay you!” He whines a bit before pausing, no doubt trying to think of instances of proper “payment”. “I, um… Well, I’ll pay you back this time!”

You finally find the chamomile, and even stumble upon that jar of honey you were looking for earlier today (of course, they were both behind the several jars of cinnamon sticks). So you throw the man a perked eyebrow while walking over to your giant black cauldron, which rested within a rustic brick fireplace.

“Oh yeah? What have you, Good Sir Champion, have to offer to the likes of me?”

“Name your price and I’ll double it.”

You snicker, lighting the fire with a clap of the hands rather than snapping. You can barely catch Leon’s amazed smile from this far away. How is any of that exciting for someone like you, you can help but wonder. Champion, genuinely cool guy, recently-turned vampire… still gets amused at basic baby magic. Same ol’ Lee.

“Hm, that’s a bold offer, young man,” you muse, adding a dramatic raspiness that makes you sound like some aged witch from a shitty Blockbuster horror film. “A wise man would think twice before dealing with a witch~.”

“Please,” he snickered, “you still call me to catch baby Joltiks that wander into your house. Don’t even try.”

A playfully sour look from you spurs a booming fit of laughter from your old friend. You hide your smile by turning away, focusing more on getting some dandelions to add to the mix. A small bag of garlic slumps over in the cabinet, so of course you grab it and reveal it to the man. He instinctively leans back a bit, a nervous grin settling onto his face.

“Hey, maybe this’ll add some extra zing to your salve, huh?”

“Uh, n-no thanks…”

“That’s what I thought,” you cackle, tossing the garlic away. Thoroughly satisfied with what you have, you dump a shit-ton of beeswax into the cauldron, watching it slowly melt before adding in the other items. While all that boils away, you wander over to your other writing desk, skipping past your grimoire in favor of digging into a drawer. There, you retrieve a small glass vial and a bag of jumbo marshmallows; those in hand, you walk back over to where Leon resides.

“Time for the secret ingredient.”

“It’s not really a secret ingredient if I already know what it is,” he frowned.

“Shut up and open wide.”

He rolls his eyes a bit, but does as he’s told. If you didn’t already know the truth here, you might have not seen anything unhuman about his teeth. Overly white from years of meticulous care and likely bleaching or whitening strips (though the thought of Leon walking around at night with whitening strips on his teeth nearly made you choke on your spit), but otherwise normal-looking human teeth. However, you knew better, and peered a little closer to his canines. Sure enough, you could see it; a slight shimmer, something like seeing heat rising off the earth during the summer, wavy and hardly noticeable. You took a marshmallow in one hand, the vial in the other; expertly, you stabbed the treat into one fang and simultaneously propped up the vial against the other tooth. Leon flinched a bit (“It feels really weird,” he had told you one time, following the same procedure the night he needed a quick fix after accidentally grabbing one of his grandmother’s rosaries when cleaning up his mother’s house, “kinda like I’m spitting with my teeth. Yuck.”). In seconds, small spurts of a dark, sort-of maroon-colored liquid fills up most of the vial. You give it a few seconds more before pulling away, taking a moment to drain the liquid from the marshmallow before offering the remains to the champion. He childishly takes it with glee, stuffing it into his mouth with that stupid smile on his face (goddamn his smile was gorgeous, but it’s way easier to just say that it was stupid, instead).

With the last and most important ingredient, you return to your work, carefully pouring the vial’s sibylline contents into the concoction. You pick up the large wooden spoon that hangs over the fireplace and give a few generous stirs.

“Y’know,” you hear Leon’s footsteps creeping up behind you, keeping a slow, leisurely pace as he meanders around the room, “this really wasn’t the future I thought for us when we were kids.”

You exhale a chuckle from your nose. You almost say that you feel the same, but the fear of him inquiring further about what you did envision makes you choose a different set of words.

“Don’t even think about getting all Byronic on me,” you peered over your shoulder. He simply smiles at you - an even stupider smile - hands in his pockets as he slowly makes his way towards you. “I’m not going to listen to you moan and groan about your tragic fate for all eternity.”

He chuckles, something surprising soft instead of his regular bone-shattered laugh.

“Of course not. I’m just saying that I figured we’d be, y’know, doing other things.” You try not to think about what he could mean by that. “But I’m not really against this. I don’t think I would’ve found out about your little shop of horrors down here, otherwise.”

He’s got a good point there. Literally the only reason you admitted to your secret life as a decently skilled witch was the night he turned. You could still remember it all; he stumbled into your house, desperately holding his wound with that terrified look in his eye, as if he was looking at Death, itself. You’d never personally treated a victim of vampire’s night out (not a live one, anyway), but you did everything in your power to keep Leon alive. But you knew that it was nothing short of a miracle that he managed to wake up the next morning, having survived a night of literal death in slow-motion. Not so many victims were so fortunate to make it through the process, but like hell you were about to let your childhood friend die like that. So now he knew your secret, and you protected his. At least you didn’t have to worry about the two of you drifting apart any time soon, especially with him always forgetting basic vampyric flaws like sunlight all the time.

He settles beside you, offering a soft smile.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m really grateful to know someone like you. You’ve got better things to be doing, and yet you always make time to bring me back after I do something stupid again and again.”

You look into his eyes a moment too long before looking back into your task. The gooey mixture, now dyed a deep red, bubbled down below, seeming almost alive.

“You make it sound like I just started doing this. I’ve been patching you up since kindergarten.”

“Fair enough. But still… I’d be dead if it weren’t for you. So, thank you.”

He’s got that look in his eyes again, golden irises burning brighter than ever, and he’s far too close for you to be comfortable. So, logically, you look even deeper into your cauldron, grateful that the darkness of the room likely hides your ever-burning cheeks. Thankfully, the brew looks just about ready. You reach over and grab a small bowl from the table nearby, spooning some of the waxy goo into its hold.

From birth, it had been decided that you would carry on your mother’s family tradition of witchcraft. And you have - with much pride - and it’s become your greatest secret that would spell disaster should it be learned by the wrong people. You didn’t make many friends, but Leon’s dumb smile was so infectious that you were always drawn to him, even if he drove you bat-shit with his innocent antics. The two of you were close for so long, but after he became champion, things became a bit more strained. You figured that it wouldn’t be long before he forgot about you altogether - but then last year’s “incident” happened, and now a whole new understanding unknown to much of the world had formed between you both. You knew it was far too late to ever consider confessing any of your possible feelings for him (feelings of annoyance, you always told yourself - what an unfortunate lie that’s come to be), but now here you were, likely stuck as his clandestine nurse for the rest of your mortal life. And then what? You’d be reincarnated, would likely stumble upon memories of your past lives (such is the fate of those who take on the witch’s mantle), and see the man you once loved (or loathed, as you’d rather say) finding someone else to take care of him in your absence. For him, it’d hardly feel like a change. But for you, it’d truly be a fate beyond that of death or eternal damnation. You should be happy that he has a reason to stay with you for the rest of your life, but instead, all you can feel is a bitter aftertaste that you have no choice but to suffer through.

“I can’t say I believe in fate,” you shrug your shoulders, “but every now and then the stars align in such a way that has us thinking that God has a sense of humor.”

Leon chuckles again, but you don’t really know. He doesn’t really know what you’re referring to. Right?

You shuffle him back over to the chair, sitting him down and resting his arm across the armrest. As gentle as possible, you spread the salve across the burn area, letting it soak in a bit before applying a second coating that you massage into his skin. Leon watches with that dumb, stupid, bothersome smile of his; you make a point never to meet those eyes, not when you’re so close to him like this.

After a few minutes, you give an affirmative nod and pull back, inspecting the injury. Sure enough, it’s already starting to lighten up.

“Looks like we got power in the healing department,” you smirk. “You’re all ready to go, Good Sir Champion.”

“Not quite.” You must’ve made a weird face, because he’s quickly backtracking, rubbing the back of his neck with a laugh. “I mean, uh, I still have to pay you back double, right? You never said what kind of payment you want.”

You don’t like the way he phrased that. No, you hate the way he phrased that. It’s got your mind in all sorts of a jumble, now. So as quick as you can (before you accidentally say something stupid), you make up a response.

“Flowers.”

Okay that’s really fucking dumb.

Leon quirks his eyebrows at you, seeming amused once more.

“I, uh, I mean,” you stumble for words, hoping to dig yourself out of this hole you’ve thrown yourself into with one stupid word. “What I mean is… I’ve been looking for a specific set of flowers for this spell I’m working on, but they don’t really sell them in stores nearby. So, uh, yeah. Get me flowers.”

“Flowers? For a spell?”

“For a spell,” you affirm.

“Okay,” there’s a strange tone to his voice that you don’t really want to try and decipher, “I can do that. What, uh… what kind of flowers do you want - er, what kind do you need? For the spell?”

You run through a mental list of all the most non-romantic flowers you can think of. Unfortunately, you like flowers, so all of them kinda felt romantic. God fucking dammit.

“Uh… dahlia’s? Black dahlia’s - yeah, those’ll be good. For the spell.”

“Right, the spell,” he nods, glancing off to the side for a millisecond. “I think I can do that, yeah. For a second, I was kind of scared you were gonna make me get a bunch of super poisonous flowers. Not sure how I would explain that one to my bank.”

“Y-yeah, right.”

A brief (and awkward) silence settles over the two of you. Eventually, Leon moves to get up; you shuffle a few steps back to give him enough space to stretch.

“Well, thanks again for helping me - I feel a thousand times better. I swear, you’re a better doctor than, well, actual doctors.”

You smirk with a smidge of pride. “Magic is just a science that hasn’t been accepted yet. And it looks cooler, too.”

“Maybe you can teach me a few things, some time.”

You narrow your eyes at him, playfully glaring in such a way that has him laughing just at the sight of it.

“That’ll cost you more flowers, Lee - are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“I’ll buy you as many flowers as you want - any kind you want.”

You wait a minute for him to backtrack, or to say “For the spell” in a rushed manner like always. But that’s it, the end of the sentence. He just stands there, smiling in that stupid way evermore, eyes focused entirely on you.

It’s a look that you can hardly describe, the look in his eyes at that moment. It pulls something from your chest that you had spent years keeping locked up tight.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You don’t know what scares you more - the fact that you said that, or the fact that he grins even brighter.

You’re the witch here, and yet he’s the one trapping you in this terrible enthrallmetn that has you seeing stars with just that stupid-dumb smile of his. It’s hard to blame it on his status or his altered state of humanity when this has always been the case. No, that’s just the kind of person Leon has always been and (hopefully) always will be. And you would likely be stuck with this (gorgeous) idiot for the rest of your mortal life.

It’s got your heart beating faster - you can’t tell if it’s from fear or from excitement. Maybe both. Most likely both.

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine ii

Sunday: ~6.4k words, 

Previous

summary: The first day at the beach was always overwhelming: the first sight of the ocean after driving, the first taste of salt in the air, the breeze in your hair, the first feeling of warm sand beneath your toes. And with Mat here? Oh boy, there are all new sensations you’re feeling. But, work always has to come before play, right? 

an: Alright this is the first real chapter at the beach! Literally everything in here- every store, activity they do etc- is based on the beach trip my family and I take every year, but I won’t go into detail about location so you can imagine it’s anywhere you’d like :) The chapters after this might take a little longer, because I already had half of this written when I uploaded part 1. But I hope it’ll be worth the wait!

It’s the summer of ‘19, eleven years after you first met Mat, and things are bound to be a little different this time around. 

The first night in a real bed after a long road trip always felt great- finally being able to just stretch and sleep for as long as you wanted after hours and hours of travel, getting well rested and ready to hit the beach and jump in the waves. You still had a few hours in the morning before you were able to check in to your rental home on the oceanfront, so- like every year- you were sleeping in to get as well-rested as possible.

Mat, on the other hand, wasn’t accustomed to your family traditions of vacation and was used to waking up early, so he came to his senses long before you. The first thing he noticed that morning, before even opening his eyes, was how cold the room was. When you dragged him in here last night, even though it was dark it had still been sweltering outside in the beachy summer air, so you must have cranked the AC on high before crawling under the covers with him. But, strangely enough, despite the room being chilly he was still warm under the thin motel bedsheets. This led him to his second, and most striking observation.

As he slowly phased into consciousness, he noticed the cozy mess of bare limbs tangled with his under the sheets, and the consistent hot sighs of air against his throat. He could feel an arm wrapped tight around his bare waist- his shirt must have gotten pushed up overnight- and a small, gentle hand resting on his chest. His own arms were around your frame, one hand resting ever so scandalously on your thigh. Your bare legs tangled with his, and couldn’t help but notice how warm and soft you felt against him. And, God, you smelled so pretty- was that weird? He peeled open his eyes to find you looking peaceful and comfortable, pulled flush against his body, tucked into his side with your face smooshed between his neck and shoulder. Fuck, this was 100% inappropriate, he knew. You’re his friend, and this just isn’t how friends behave.

But he still couldn’t bring himself to pull away from you. Not yet.

You weren’t awake yet, and he didn’t have the heart to wake you up when you looked so comfortable, so he lay for another hour or so, just looking at you and thinking. Was this creepy? This is definitely creepy, but he didn’t care. Here he was, eleven years later, with the first girl outside his family he ever cared for. The girl he knew for one month, missed for ten years, the girl who found him and shocked him and stole his heart eight months ago and had continued to surprise him every day since then. You had him so, so wrapped around your finger and you didn’t even realize it yet. Ah, but friendship. Friendship meant he shouldn’t kiss you, shouldn’t tell you and the world how much you meant to him, shouldn’t have his hand this far up your thigh, shouldn’t be tangled into your body like this. Shouldn’t love you. Mat didn’t realize how red his face was getting or how quickly his heart started beating until his eyes fell back to watching you, snoozing comfortably on his chest. Hell, you could probably feel his heartbeat.

He untangled himself from you and rolled to the other side of the bed, taking a breath to try and steady his heart and cool the fire inside him. Wow, the effect you had on him was crazy. This week was going to be crazy.

A knock at the door had him jerking up in bed, afraid of your family finding him anywhere close to you, staring at you with such adoration. “Up and at ‘em, kiddos!” He rolled out of bed at the sound of your father’s voice. “We got a beach to hit!”

He opened the door without even getting the chance to wash his face or fix his hair, still wearing the same wrinkled tee shirt, shorts and socks that he’s had on for 24 hours now, and greeted your dad, pushing out as much of a smile as he could.

“Good morning, sir.”

“Mathew. Great, I needed to talk to you.” He froze where he was in the doorway, and looked back to where you were still asleep in bed, hoping that maybe you’ve woken up by now and would come over to save him from whatever was about to happen.

“Talk?”

“Yeah. C’mon, I’m not that scary.” Oh, you’re not that scary? Yeah right. But Mat complied, closing the door to your room and standing out front with your father, wanting to stay on his good side for at least this week. The sun was already bright, it was already getting hot and humid out, and though he couldn’t see the ocean yet, he could definitely smell the seawater in the air. He couldn’t wait to get out in the water with you. “(Y/N) brought you along on this trip with us, so you must be somebody she cares about. What’s your relationship to my daughter?”

“We’re just friends.” He spoke almost too quickly, wanting to convince your dad, and maybe even himself, that there was nothing going on between the two of you. “We actually met here on vacation eleven years ago-”

“Ah, ah, I remember, kid.” He waved his hands to stop Mat in his story. “But it’s hard for me to believe there’s nothing more going on between the two of you. You might have been in the back seat, but I saw the way you stared at her while she was asleep on the way here.” Mat’s heart stopped. Oh God, oh God, oh God your dad saw him staring at you. You had fallen asleep long before he did, so for almost an hour he had watched you sleep soundly with your head on his shoulder. He didn’t think anyone could see, but he was also so immersed with your beauty that he must have missed your dad’s gaze in the rear-view mirror. “I don’t know about you, but that’s not how I look at my friends.”

“Um…” He was at a loss for words, reaching up to run his hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure if he should try to find an explanation or just tell the truth, but your dad’s intense gaze wore through him. There was no way he could spin this to make it seem believably platonic. “Shit… “ He mumbled under his breath, looking down at his socks and knowing he couldn’t lie to this guy. “Okay, I might like her a little more than platonically, maybe. But I wasn’t planning to say anything to her yet.”

“Don’t.”

“Wha-?”

“I don’t know enough about you yet, but if my daughter likes you enough to bring you along- and I know she doesn’t trust people easily- I’m sure I should trust you too. You seem like an okay guy. So far.” Mat felt a smile light up his face, it wasn’t much of a compliment, but it still meant a lot to him.

“Oh, wow, thanks.”

“But know that I’ve still gotta be a dad here. And if you say anything to her that disrupts her happiness, it’ll make things awkward and ruin the whole trip. So, nothing sneaky is gonna happen under my roof, especially not this week. Nothing. I’ll be watching you, Mathew. Making sure you don’t try anything. Making sure you don’t hurt her.”

Mat was quick to shake his head. “Of course not.”

“I don’t care how much of an All Star you are, if you do anything, and I mean anything, to hurt her…!” Mat hadn’t realized how far he’d been leaning back against the door until it opened behind him and had him stumbling to get his footing.

“Dad, why are you interrogating my friend?” He looked back to you, standing there in your own wrinkled tee shirt and those soft pajama shorts, the ones his hand had been ever so slightly underneath earlier, your hair a tangled mess but still beautiful. Your soft hands found his arm, ready to pull him inside and away from the questioning. A little too late to save me, (Y/N), he thought, amused.

“Well, you can’t just bring a random boy along without me questioning him. He could be a murderer.”

“Yep, he’s definitely a murderer.”

“We’ll see.” Mat felt a hand clap his back and forced out a smile. Your dad didn’t like him? To be honest, he wasn’t too familiar with people completely disliking him off the bat. Oh well, he was just being a generic protective dad, and no one could blame him for wanting to look out for you. Mat knew he had nothing to worry about- he definitely wasn’t going to hurt you this week, or ever, so your dad’s threat- his promise- meant nothing to him. “All right kids, get ready. We’re heading to the house soon. And wear your swimsuits so we don’t have to change when we get there.”

You pulled Mat back inside by the arm, closing the door behind you and not missing the final look he sent to Mat. “Sorry about that.”

“No big deal, just… obligatory dad talk I guess. Threatening any guy that gets close to his daughter and stuff.”

“Well, if it makes it any better, I meant to get up earlier to keep you safe from him.”

“I appreciate the effort, but you were a bit too late.” He smiled down at you and you became increasingly aware of how close you were standing. But you couldn’t look away, his hair looked so soft, having probably just woken up a few minutes before you, and his lips had the slightest pout to them that you didn’t realize earlier. His eyes- oh, his eyes- were a soft, beautiful golden brown color you loved so much.

“I swear, your eyes used to be a lot more green.”

Mat’s eyebrows quirked up with a smile, intrigued. “You remember my eye color after eleven years?”

It was meant to be teasing, you knew that, but it was true, and it felt like such an intimate thing. You had just been gazing into his eyes for much, much longer than was appropriate for friends! Maybe it was dumb, considering he was a friend, but you still thought back to his “dazzling green eyes” and the way they sparkled so much in the sunlight, and you hadn’t really seen them that green for any of the last eight months of your friendship.

“Um...” You took your hand off of his arm, shaking away your thoughts and pointing to the bathroom, clothes in your hand. “I’m gonna go change.”

The next few minutes were full of small, sneaky glimpses back and forth. Mat had never been this interested in getting ready in the morning, but watching you brush your hair and brush your teeth was just so immersing to him. You kept catching yourself glancing over to Mat, and couldn’t bring yourself to look away. He was so pretty in the morning, his eyes were so sleepy and his hair was so soft and fluffy, and it took everything in you not to reach up and run your hands through it. You’d never seen him this early in the morning, and if you were being honest, you were sad you didn’t get to wake up before him and just lay and watch that sleepy face that you loved so much. You couldn’t help but watch out of the corner of your eye as Mat stripped out of his shirt before disappearing into the bathroom to change into some swim trunks. Wow. He certainly didn’t have those abs eleven year ago.

You watched Mat when he opened the bathroom door and ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly in the mirror.  “C’mon, Mat! You don’t need to do your hair, It’s just gonna get messed up in the water anyway.” You heard him laugh, used to your teasing.  

“Yeah, you’re right.” He pulled you into his side. “Let’s go, princess.”

Some say eleven is a lucky number- when you see 11:11 on a clock, you want to make a wish, even if you don’t believe in wishes, don’t you? So maybe it had something to do with magic, maybe the stars had finally aligned, or maybe you had just both ended up in the right place at the right time, but you never thought you would be here again with Mat, especially not after eleven years.

And there it was. The first sight of the ocean was always so refreshing. After a whole 24 hours of travel and waiting and being as patient as possible, the first glimpse of the ocean, the first taste of salt in the air, the first feeling of sand beneath your feet was your big reward. And being here with Mat… it was a whole new feeling, even more intense. Here you were, standing in the sand next to Mat with nothing but ocean in front of you and shoreline as far as you could see on your left and right.

You hadn’t seen Mat shirtless much during your friendship, maybe briefly, but now it was clear- he had certainly grown, shirtless and looking absolutely stunning with the sunlight shining off of his chest and abs, rubbing what looked like the bare minimum of sunscreen on his shoulders. Woah, woah, you really shouldn’t be staring- but really, he’s gonna get sunburnt, that’s all you were worried about! He caught your eye with his gleaming sunshine smile and nudged you, his hand clapping your bare back softly and falling to your waist to pull you into him and bump hips in a teasing way he would do often, only now it felt a lot different, considering you were both almost naked. But, if he cared, that twinkle in his eye didn’t give anything away. “Race you to the water.”

He beat you there, of course, running into the oncoming waves with no hesitation, but you had the satisfaction of watching him half trip and half get knocked over into the water with a yelp, and watching him come back up all wet with dripping hair and a bright smile, laughing at himself. You stood in your spot on the wet sand and watched, feeling as if time was going in slow motion with some cheesy 80s love song playing in the background as he threw back his head and lifted a hand to get his hair out of his face.

“Are you coming in or not?”

Honestly, you could have sat and watched him for hours- he looked so irresistible with drops of water rolling down his perfectly sculpted chest and abs and his hair dark and slicked back- but having the option to be closer to him was something you definitely weren’t going to pass on. Maybe it took you too long to respond, though, because before you could even nod and come in after him, he was scooping you up in his arms with ease, startling you and laughing at your reaction. And as much as you didn’t mind being this close to him, feeling the warmth of his body through the coolness of the water, you knew where this was headed. “Mat, let me down! Don’t you dare!” But he was a menace, and he lived to annoy you, so he rushed out with you in his arms and dropped you in the water- which felt especially cold on your skin after you had stood in the sunlight for so long. You sputtered and wiped the water out of your face, thankful he was generous enough to not drop you right where waves crashed down.  “Mat!”

In the midst of bending over in laughter, he managed out a quick- “You took too long!”

You wanted to be mad at how much he was laughing at your annoyance, you really did, but how could you when he was all wet and shiny in the sunlight and those swim trunks were so low on his hips and wow those abs and that V going down-

You splashed some water back at him, laughing along with his contagious little giggles as you stood and tried to recompose yourself in front of him- adjusting your swimsuit and what not.

Mat couldn’t take his eyes off you as you stood in the water in front of him. You didn’t know how good you looked in that swimsuit, though he’d never tell you that. Friends shouldn’t just tell each other they look hot, right? No, that’s weird, of course not. Especially not on the first day of six more at the beach. He didn’t want to make it awkward. But you did look breathtaking. And the way you smiled at him while wringing out your hair was making him hot in the face.

“I can’t believe you’re still a ten-year-old, Mat.”

“Umm, excuse you” He scoffed and put on a mock offended voice. “I was actually eleven, for your information.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that makes much of a difference.”

“You should be glad I couldn’t lift you back then. I probably would’ve ended up drowning you.” He caught the look on your face and smiled. “Accidentally, of course.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.” You laughed a bit, but were quickly thrown off balance by a particularly strong wave crashing into you from behind and pushing you into a rock hard body.

“Woah, there, I don’t actually want you to drown.” This was Mat. Mat’s chest you’d fallen into, Mat’s arms that had caught you, Mat’s hard abs you were bracing yourself against, and Mat’s hair that dripped water down against your neck. The world seemed to freeze around you as you gazed up at him, not even realizing yet that you were practically feeling him up. And there, in the sunlight, his eyes had changed from honey-colored to the same gleaming, dazzling green you’d first seen eleven years ago today.

“There it is!”

“What?”

“The green! Your eyes are super green in the sun!”

Mat was quick to laugh. “Okay, you’re really hung up on my eye color, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” You reached a hand up to brush a wet strand of hair away from his eyes and back behind his ear, not even thinking about how intimate it was. “You have really pretty hazel eyes, Mat.” His mouth softened into a smaller, gentler smile, but before he could even respond, though, your younger siblings were barging into the water, pushing between the two of you.

“Move it, lovebirds.”

“Remember to keep room for Jesus!”

“Jesus Christ, shut up, guys!” You backed away from Mat, not wanting to give off the wrong impression. “He’s my friend.”

“Yeah, whatever. Hey, mom wants you to run to the store to get some food for the week.”

“Now? We just got here!” You looked over at Mat, who was busying himself with splashing in the waves, trying to steer clear of your family for the most part. He didn’t need to, but you appreciated his thoughtfulness.

“Actually, her exact words were ‘she might as well do something for me’.”

You sucked in a breath and tried to ignore how deep her words cut. And so family week begins, huh? Of course there’s gonna be some shade thrown. According to your mom, you’d practically abandoned her after moving to New York at such a young age. You could see where she was coming from, sure, but it was a little overdramatic. “We’ll go later, when it’s too hot.”

“Yeah.” Your sister shrugged and tossed you a pair of goggles. “We’re gonna look for cool shells or fish or crabs or something. Mat wanna help?”

“Help with what?” Mat perked up, having heard his name. You smiled at the thought of inviting Mat into your family traditions, and your siblings getting along so well with him. Your sister tossed a pair of goggles over to him. 

“Oh yeah, he’s totally helping.”

A few hours passed by quickly, too quickly for your liking, and, though Mat got bored pretty quickly of looking for shells, he and your brother had apparently bonded when it came to annoying you and your sister- tossing chunks of wet sand and seaweed at you and grabbing your leg while underwater just to scare you. Ah, boys. It’d be infuriating if you weren’t so hopelessly in love with Mat.

And now, your parents had sent the two of you out on a trip to get enough food for one week. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but you had just gotten here and wanted to spend as much time as possible in the water. You could deal with this arrangement, though, considering it was the hottest time of day and you’d probably be burning if you were out there. Also, this just meant more alone time with Mat but, as much as you loved the domesticity of it, Mat really, really didn’t seem to be enjoying himself.

“I can’t believe they sent us to do this.” Mat whined beside you, slouched over on his crossed arms and pushing the cart halfheartedly.

“Well, I’d love to be on the beach too, but we will have to eat sometime this week.”

“I guess.” He followed behind you silently for a few minutes, still mopey as you picked certain things from a list off of the shelves. Just as you thought you were finished and could go check out, he perked up at something. “Oh! I forgot to give you this.” He pulled something small out of his pocket and opened his fist to reveal a tiny, spiral seashell.

“Wow, that’s cute!" You took it from him, trying to ignore the sparks that ignited in you when your hands touched ever so softly. “And it already has a little hole in it! I could put it on a necklace! Thanks, Mat.”

“No problem,” his face was warm and smiley, always happy to make you happy. “I just found it in the water earlier and thought you’d like it. You like pretty things.”

“I do like pretty things.” You caught yourself before letting your gaze fall over him, but God, it was true. He was pretty. You thought for a moment, looking at the cart of food before an idea popped up in your head. “You know what? Even if my parents forced us to go shopping, we’re gonna have some fun for ourselves.”

“Oh yeah?” He laughed a bit, always a welcome sound. “And how do you suggest we have fun in a store?”

“Well, first, I’m gonna find something to make this into a necklace. Then, there’s a souvenir shop across the street from here...” You trailed off and sent him a questioning look. “I’d really like to see you in some of the Hawaiian shirts they always have over there.” He smiled and shook his head at you, and you knew he was coming with.

“Only if you get one too.”

So, one thing you learned on your first day at the beach was that Mat Barzal hated the “adultness” of grocery shopping, but loved shopping when it was for fun. You loved the intrigued look on his face when you pulled him along into the store, with all its brightly colored merchandise and knickknacks for beachgoers and vacationers. You loved the way his eyes lit up as he watched the hermit crabs and their pretty hand painted shells with amazement and begged you to get one. And, most importantly, you loved the disgusted look on his face when you held up a busy, floral printed shirt and suggested he try it on. “No way.”

“Come on, you’d look good in it!” He’d look good in anything, honestly, but you couldn’t just tell him that. Friends, friends, friends. He shook his head and held up a less dramatic shirt.

“What about this?”

“Wow, I didn’t think you were one to play it safe, Mat.”

“I’m not playing it safe! That thing is…” He stopped and rolled his eyes, seeing your attempt at puppy dog eyes. Yeah, you could get literally anything you want out of him already, and those big, innocent eyes just had him melting on the spot. Like he realized this morning, you have him so wrapped around his finger. He wanted to be serious, but he couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the situation. “Do you really want me to buy it?”

“I won’t make you wear it ever again after this week, I swear! I’ll never bring it up again.”

“Fine.” He grimaced again at the pattern but couldn’t help the smile that played at his lips as he grabbed it from you. He would really do anything for you. He could imagine Tito laughing at him in his head, claiming he was just so whipped. Yeah, he decided, he definitely was. “But I get to pick something for you then.”

“Bring your worst, Barzy.”

At first, you had expected him to pick something embarrassing, or silly, or plain stupid looking, but this was Mat Barzal, you had to expect the unexpected. So when he came up to you with a big smile and his hands hidden behind his back, you didn’t know what he could have back there, but that smile meant it must have been something crazy. “You can’t back out after I show you.” It worried you a little that you couldn’t back out, but you were just as stubborn as him and you needed to see him in that Hawaiian shirt.

“Deal.”

“Alright.” He presented you with what he picked out with a little “Ta-da!” and smiled  when your eyes widened at his selection. In his hands was nothing embarrassing, nothing strange like you expected him to get for you. It was a simple, beachy romper with a bow as a belt tied around the waist. It was actually pretty cute, although not generally something you would wear. “Do you like it?”

“Wow. Seriously?”

“What’s wrong?” He looked genuinely concerned, as if worried he’d done something wrong.

“Nothing. This is, like, actually cute. I thought you were gonna get me something embarrassing. I practically forced you to get a shirt you don’t even like, and now you’re being all nice, it’s kinda making me feel shitty!”

“Nah, it’s no big deal. The shirt’s not that bad. And, I just thought…” He paused and shifted his weight on his feet a bit. “Well, you look really nice in this color. And your birthday is in a few days. So, this can be your birthday look. Hey, you can't back out anymore. It was a deal.” You couldn’t stop yourself from curling your arms around his waist and hugging him, bringing your face into his chest. You didn’t loosen your grip until you felt his arms fold around you as well, and felt his chin dipping down to rest against the top of your head.

You gave his chest a playful whack. “You’re so stupid nice, Mat. You don’t have to wear the ugly shirt.”

“Oh no, I’m definitely wearing the ugly shirt.”

And he did.

The day passed much too quickly and the sun was soon setting on your first night on the beach, laying out a lovely backdrop for a family campfire down by the shore, just above the waterline. Mat had come out of the house, a bag of marshmallows in his hand and a smile on his face when he saw you laugh at his shirt. “What? I definitely rock this.”

“Can anyone really rock that pattern?”

“Me, duh.” He laughed and watched you run down to the water, your one piece swimsuit hugging your body as you smiled back at him for a moment and made his heart skip a beat.

You looked so pretty standing with your feet in the water and smiling over your shoulder at him like that, your hair was blowing around your face. He wanted so badly to bring you into his arms, hold you, tuck your hair behind your ears and take your face between his hands and just kiss you in the sunset. He felt a punch to his shoulder lightly and looked over to see your younger brother there. “Stop staring at her, you creep.”

Mat scrambled for an explanation, “I- uh I wasn’t.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Dude, shut up.” Your sister looked up from her phone “they’d be cute together.”

“Ew, that’s so gross…”

As your siblings started arguing back and forth, Mat moved aside to distance himself from them as politely as he could. It was nice to meet them and all, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was talking about his relationship with you. Anyway, he was here for you. Only you. He moved over to where your parents were sitting at what would soon be the fire and dropped the bag of marshmallows he’d gotten from the house. “You’re an angel, Mathew.” Your mom reached up to grab his face between her hands, startling him a bit. “I can see why my daughter wanted to bring you.”

“Oh, wow, thank you.”

“Mathew,” your father looked up from the sand and Mat worried he was going to bring up their conversation from this morning. The conversation about how Mat may possibly have more than platonic feelings for you- damn it, he hated that he caved and told him- and the conversation about what would happen if he hurt you. But no, your father pointed to the water. “It looks like (Y/N) wants you.”

Sure enough, you were standing there, waving for Mat and smiling at him again. He couldn’t bite back the smile on his face as he slid the shirt off of his shoulders and dropped it in the sand where your dad was already working on getting the fire started. “Well, do you need any help with the fire?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mathew,” your mother sighed with a smile, “Just go to her.”

The air was still warm, but the ocean was starting to cool, lapping cold against your ankles when Mat came up next to you. You could feel his arm graze against yours- he was standing that close to you, admiring the sunset- the pastel oranges and pinks lighting up across the sky hanging over the ocean. But none of the scene in front of you was as beautiful as what was next to you. The sun, low on the horizon, was casting it’s last rippling golden streams across the ocean and shining right across Mat, lighting him up like the Greek-God-like statue he was- bouncing off of the definition in his chest and abs, igniting his eyes with that dazzling green, and pulling that beautiful, gleaming smile onto his lips.

Wow.

“Beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.”

He caught your eyes and you were done for.

Maybe it was the way the sun was bouncing off his immaculate bone structure, catching all the right places- the height of his cheekbones, the firmness of his torso, the color in his eyes- maybe it was the lack of space between the two of you, maybe it was the serotonin rushing through your veins, but in that moment everything beyond you and Mat standing in the water disappeared in your mind and your gaze fell to his lips- so warm and inviting…

Or maybe it was just hormones.

His hand reached for your arm, sparking up wildfires whenever his fingers danced across the surface of your skin. He parted his lips. “It’s so crazy that we’re actually back here after eleven years.” His whisper was soft, delicate, afraid to break the sweet moment.

“I know.” Your voice was shaky, nervous, and you took a moment to compose yourself, dragging your gaze away from the gorgeous man beside you and focusing on the waves lapping at your feet. “It’s so weird.”

“But it’s amazing.” His hand found it’s way down to yours, touching it softly, fingertips to fingertips but not exactly holding it. “You know, your family doesn’t seem as overwhelming as you made them sound.”

“Oh, no, my siblings are great. And my parents are great seperate, but together... just give it some time. They’re gonna snap.”

“And I’ll be there to take you away when they do.” He looked so genuine in the moment, no jokes, no teasing, just dead serious. He was here for you- you knew that. He sighed, turning towards the shore and pulling you along with a soft smile. “I think they got the fire started. Guess we should go join them.”

The last thing you wanted to do was leave your little bubble with Mat and rejoin your family, but when you settled down on the sand and leaned against Mat, it was all okay.

It made you feel butterflies, sitting so close to him, wrapped in a towel and sharing a blanket, feeling his thigh touching yours and seeing him all smiley and lit up by the light of the fire, the smell of salt in the air surrounding you and the sound of waves crashing behind you. It might have been a bit tense as your father questioned him, not quite knowing or trusting this boy their daughter brought along, but Mat easily blocked out any awkwardness.

When the conversation turned to Mat’s career, your mother seemed a bit concerned that he hadn’t gone to college. She was a sports fan, but when it came to you, she wanted your friends and especially boyfriends and potential husbands to be smart and successful. To her, that meant college, and just playing a sport wasn’t successful in her books. You knew Mat wouldn’t talk back to your mom, so you were determined to brag for him about all of his accomplishments. He may not have gone to college, but he was damn successful. “Actually, last year Mat got the Calder- he was the best rookie in the league.” You clarified for your mom. “And earlier this year he was in the All Star Game.”

“Oh, really? Congratulations, Mathew.” At least your dad seemed interested now. Mat smiled, obviously pleased to have your dad's approval. Approval? No, his respect, maybe. “You must be a pretty good player.”

“Thanks, sir.” He grinned to himself and looked over at you, proud he had seemingly gotten into good terms with your father.

“I’m sure I would’ve heard about you, but I stopped watching hockey a while back.”

“Why’d you stop watching?” It seemed like an innocent question, but it had everything coming to a stop. Mat had never been someone who killed the crowd at parties, so the awkwardness that fell over the group wasn’t something he was familiar or comfortable with. He saw the way your siblings immediately looked up from what they were doing as if something he said had sparked their interest. He saw the way your mother rolled her eyes and your father’s gaze narrow in her direction. He wasn’t dumb, and realized he must have struck a sour chord in the family drama.

Yikes.

“Things came up. Life happened, people happened. Couldn’t enjoy it anymore.” His voice went gruff, and your mom scoffed from across the campfire.

You decided, like always, to remove yourself before the argument would start. And you could feel it coming. “Okay… I think we’re gonna head inside now.” Blanket still wrapped around you, you dragged Mat to his feet and hurried to pull him away from the fire and up towards the house. Maybe you were holding him a little too close for friends to be, but he just always seemed to radiate heat and you were cold, so you couldn’t help the way your hand drifted up his arm. Okay, it may have been partially your fault. Maybe you should have told Mat about your parent’s mess of a marriage, or given him a list of topics to avoid, but obviously it was too late now. He didn’t speak until you were opening the back door.

“Shit, I messed that up pretty bad, didn’t I?”

“No, I probably should've told you about them. Sorry.” You laughed a little bit. “For future reference, my parents bonded over hockey and when they started hating each other, neither of them could enjoy it anymore. It sucks. So maybe don’t talk about hockey with them?”

“Great, it’s not like that’s one of the only things I know how to talk about.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the sarcasm dripping off of every word.

“Mat, believe it or not, you’re not just a hockey player. You’re a lot more than that.” You stopped outside your bedroom door and let your fingers glide down Mat’s arm, looking up at him with a smile. He was watching with soft, honey eyes and his pink lips- you swear to God- are just ever so slightly puckered, as if he’s begging to hear more praise. You didn’t want to let go of him just yet, and you’d do anything to keep the conversation flowing. “Hockey isn’t the only thing in that pretty brain of yours. You’ve got other interests. Other hobbies. And you’re just good at talking.”

“Wow,” He laughed a little bit, cheeks blazing. Mat’s heart was pumping fast. Here you were, standing so close to him with your fingers setting fires on his arm, smiling and complimenting him with that pretty mouth of yours, telling him he was more than he sold himself as- no one could blame him for feeling flustered. You could make him believe anything; just the way his name rolled off your lips had him starstruck, had him moving mountains for you. He was so hopelessly fascinated by you, but there was still that constant nagging of ‘friends friends just friends’ in his head, and he could only hope to make it through this week and come out with your relationship unchanged. He stood in the hallway, not wanting to say goodnight to you yet.

“And you really do rock this shirt, honestly.”

His smile gleamed, all white teeth and pink cheeks and scrunched up nose as he lifted his head in a burst of laughter. “Of course I do.”

“Alright, well, I have a bathroom attached to my bedroom so…” You finally let your hand fall off of Mat’s wrist, already missing the feeling of his skin under your fingertips. “This is goodnight.”

“Right.” Mat nodded before taking a few steps backwards to where his room was down the short hall. “Hey, at least we actually have seperate rooms tonight, right?”

“Yeah, that’s good.”

But, unbeknownst to you, Mat tossed and turned that night, unsure now of how to sleep in his own bed. No matter what, he just couldn’t stop thinking about the night before, when you had wrapped yourselves up in each other’s arms and fit so comfortably, so perfectly together, like two pieces of a puzzle. Mat would never admit the feelings he felt when first waking up to find you in his arms, how he laid and stared at you for almost an hour before getting out of bed, or how he everytime your eyes met you easily made him flustered and nervous, as if this was a first love- maybe it was. And he certainly would never admit the way he fell asleep tonight, on his side, with blazing cheeks and a racing mind, holding a pillow firm against his chest and pretending it was you.

The pillow wasn’t nearly as good as the real thing.

[ghostsoapgirl]

Touch - Duke Crocker x Reader (she)

Taglist: @fiore-della-valle @iamtheholyghost @dukewuornos @cookiedoughmeagain @mythoughtsaretroubled @parker-haven-wuornos @afoxnamedmulder

Touch - Duke Crocker

Rating: T

Words: 3K

Working at The Grey Gull was the best decision She could have made. Coming to Haven was a close second, but the Gull was beginning to feel safe. She’d only been there a week, but Duke and Audrey had a way of making her feel less anxious. When she first arrived in Haven, she had hidden from the world, wearing long sleeves, hoodies, gloves, whatever she could to cover any inch of visible skin. Working with Duke though, that changed her. He taught her how to avoid people and still be able to be comfortable in the clothes she decided to wear. She still wore the gloves though, too afraid not to.

Of course Duke eventually asked about her trouble. Why come to Haven if you weren’t troubled. It’s not like people were taking vacations to Haven, Maine, spook central. She tried explaining it but that wasn’t enough for Duke Crocker.

“I don’t believe you can drop a man with emotions.” She wanted to laugh, she really did. Except she knew just how well her trouble worked. 

“I’m telling you Duke, you don’t want to experience it.”

“Except I really, really do.” He gave her that crooked smile with that wicked glint in his eyes and she caved. She felt Duke’s eyes on her the rest of the night but she said nothing. The minute the doors of the Gull were locked, Duke was standing in front of her reaching for her gloved hands.

“Wait, Duke.” She took a deep breath, trying to put into words exactly what was going to happen when she touched him. “When I touch you, not only will you feel what I feel, but you’ll feel it ten times as strong as I do.”

“That can’t be all bad,” he interrupted her. She figured he wouldn’t listen to what she was saying until he experienced it, so she motioned for him to sit down while she removed her gloves. Once he was sitting, she tried to think where to touch him. She settled for his arm, right below where his sleeves were rolled up.

“I’m not saying this won’t hurt, but it won’t be pleasant at all.” Before Duke could rattle off some sentence like ‘I can take it” she placed her palm flat against his skin, fingers wrapping around right below his elbow. His eyes went wide, his breath catching in his lungs, face white as a sheet. She held it there for only a second before Duke’s eyes closed and he slumped over in the chair. She removed her hand, hastily putting her gloves back on before adjusting him to where his head was resting on the table. 

She grabbed a glass of water and a cold rag from the kitchen. Some of the people she had touched since the troubles returned woke up nauseous or just straight up puked the minute they regained consciousness. Duke was beginning to stir as she returned to the table. She placed the glass of water directly in front of him, placing the cold rag on his neck. She made sure the only contact she had was through her gloves. She didn’t know what would happen to someone if she touched them with bare skin back to back, and she wasn’t about to find out with her new boss.

“I told you, it’s not fun.”

“Fuck, that’s what you feel? All day?” He was sitting up now, the rag falling from his neck as he took a swig from the glass of water. All She could do was nod, trying to hide the embarrassment rising on her cheeks. He must have noticed because he began to reach for her, stopping short of her wrist, “Why do you carry so much anxiety?”

“I constantly have to worry about if I’m going to make people pass out, just from my touch Duke. I have to constantly be vigilant. If I focus really really hard, I can handle passing glances with only minimal emotional transfer. What you just felt is what happens if I let my guard down for even a second.” 

“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do, to help with the anxiety?” She couldn’t help the smile rising on her face. Of course he would want to help her. Pure, selfless Duke always thinking about others. She knew, from stories, that he hasn’t always been this was. Apparently Nathan and Audrey had been really good for him.

“I just, I can keep the wall up as I call it, during the day. But when I’m done with work, and we just relax and have a drink, that’s when it’s really hard. Just promise me you won’t touch me without warning? I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you because of me.” Duke nodded, drinking from his glass of water again. “I’m gonna head back to the hotel. This has been an interesting day.”

As she was grabbing her things to leave, she could feel Duke’s eyes following her every move. Ignoring it was easy at first as she had to gather everything up but when she began to head to the door, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. “Did i do something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” he replied quickly, shaking his head as if to gather his thoughts. “I just, uh, if you’re planning on staying in Haven, you should really have a proper place to live.”

“I’ve been looking, but surprisingly the market isn’t that great here,” she ended on a laugh, her bag beginning to slip off of her shoulder. “I live on a boat,” Duke stated. When he didn’t continue she nodded, a soft “I know” leaving her lips. “I live on a boat, and I have like 4 spare rooms. You could rent one of those if you wanted? It's got a kitchen and a couple bathrooms and everything?”

“Knowing what I can do,” she gestured to her gloved hands, “you not only want me to work with you, but you want to share a living space with me?” WHen Duke simply nodded, she shook her head as she readjusted her bag strap. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll check out of the hotel in the morning.” With that, Duke offered her a ride to what would be her new home. As Duke helped her into the truck, she made sure he only came into contact with the covered parts of her arms.

Duke showed her around the boat, showing her which room and bathroom would be hers. He was pleasantly surprised when the extra rooms all had sheets and blankets with them. She honestly expected just a mattress and a random throw blanket he had lying around. Once he was done showing her the rest of the boat, he decided he was going to head to bed. She figured he was exhausted from the night's events. Knowing she should get some sleep instead of exploring, her curiosity got the better of her. She changed into loose pajama pants and a tank top before heading to the kitchen to make a drink.  

Exploring the boat was actually scarier than she expected it to be. She didn’t remember which floor she was on now but she knew she’d gotten turned around. The hallway she was in was dark so she ran the hand not holding her drink against the wall looking for a light switch, or honestly a switch of any kind. She followed the wall until she found the steps leading up. She ascended them in darkness, her heart beating so loud she assumed the neighbors could hear it. 

When she was back on level ground, she reached around, sure she had to be in the common or kitchen area. Instead of a counter or couch, she touched a bare chest, not able to silence the scream that tore from her throat. Whoever she had touched dropped to the ground in a heap, no more than a strangled noise making it from their throat. 

Trying to quell the panic rising in her chest, she eventually found a counter, setting her drink down and flipping any switch she could get her fingers on. The lights came on just as the person on the floor began to stir. Her panic ebbed away as she realized the person was none other than Duke. She ran to him, kneeling next to him and reaching for him. She caught her hands at the last second, sitting down on the cold floor and tucking them into her pajama bottoms to prevent any further urge to touch. 

Duke was sitting up now, leaning against one of the couches she was looking for. He pushed the hair out of his face, gathering it into the band around his wrist and tying it low on his head. When he was done he just looked at her and laughed. 

“Remind me to never, ever scare you again.” His laughter was breathless and it did weird things to her stomach that she tried desperately to ignore. 

“I’m so sorry Duke,” she began apologetically. “You were supposed to be asleep and I was just looking around. I wasn’t snooping, just getting a feel for the place.”

“I don’t know if you’ve ever been on a boat before, but there's absolutely nothing you can’t hear on here.” She laughed, not able to help the nervous energy rolling off of her. Duke got to his feet, offering her a hand and then thinking better of it. She used the couch and the space he had given her to get back to her feet before offering an awkward goodnight and heading towards what she hoped was her room. 

From that night on, she never walked the boat without making sure Duke knew first. It had been a couple of months since that night and luckily, they had had no more accidental touching and passing out. She worked full time at the Gull and when she wasn’t working she was either with Duke on the boat, or Audrey and Nathan working on cases. In the past month they began to realize that her trouble wasn’t all bad. If she focused hard enough, she could use her trouble to calm other people. It came in handy the most when other troubled people were dealing with anxiety, fear or even grief. She’d worked a few cases so far, and almost every case she was able to keep the person calm long enough for Audrey and Nathan to explain what was going on and how to fix it.

She had just got back from helping with someone’s fire trouble when she found Duke sitting on the deck of the boat, two drinks in hand. He offered her one without a word. She accepted, setting her bag down before flopping in a chair next to Duke. They had developed a close enough friendship that silences like this were comfortable. SHe enjoyed just being near him, his presence having some sort of calming effect on her. She noticed the more time she spent with Duke, the less anxiety she actually felt. 

On extremely busy nights, leading to some of the worst anxiety she had experienced, they would just sit on the boat and share a drink in the quiet of the night. By the time they said their goodnights, she didn’t feel even an ounce of anxiety. SHe told Duke as much, when the thought popped into her head.

“You still avoid me like the plague,” he offered, his beer tipped towards her. She couldn’t figure out what was different tonight. He wasn’t drunk. They’d been there before. He wasn’t angry or sad from what she could tell, but there was something lurking behind those brown eyes that she couldn’t put her finger on.

“Duke, I don’t avoid you. I just, you don’t understand what it’s like.” She tried desperately to keep the irritation from her voice, but the look on Duke’s face said she didn’t succeed.

“You’re right, I don’t. But that isn’t for lack of trying.” SHe could hear the tone in his voice changning and the last thing she wanted after a long day was to argue. They’d had their fair share of arguments over the past months but never over her trouble. Or his trouble for that matter.

“Duke, it’s been a long day. I’ve told you everything I know about this trouble. I don’t know what more you want.” She rose from the chair, her beer discarded on the floor, preparing to head to bed, that being her last word on the subject.

“If you don’t have anxiety around me anymore, why do you pull away anytime I almost touch you?” He reached for her then, proving his point as she recoiled like she’d been burned. 

“Duke. I literally wear my heart on my sleeve. I can’t have any emotion without worrying if someone is going to feel it, to know how i feel all the time, or worse. What if I’m having a bad day and we touch, Duke? I can’t be the reason you drop stone cold in the middle of a work day.”

“Sometimes I just wanna know how you feel.” His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear it. Their beers were long forgotten next to their seats, too focused on the conversation at hand. “You never talk about how you’re feeling. So sometimes the urge to know is just there. I eventually pull away because I can see what the thought of me touching you does. I just,” he trailed off and she had no idea what she could say to make the situation better.

“You wanna know how I feel?” she decided on, and Duke just nodded so she pushed forward, afraid she would chicken out if she didn’t get it all out right now. “Promise me I’ll still have a job once you know?” He tried interrupting but she put her hand up, “Just promise me Duke.” 

“I promise.” She didn’t wait for him to say anything else, just reached out and touched his arm. It was just a bare touch at first, just so he could get a taste of the emotions warring inside of her. When he didn’t pull away she pressed her hand firmly against his arm. She held it there for two, three seconds before pulling away, afraid of what would happen if she kept her hand on him. 

Duke was still sitting upright when she was done, eyes kind of glassy but still open. She said nothing, just sat back down in her chair and watched as Duke processed all of the emotions she just threw at him. After several minutes of silence, she couldn’t take it anymore so she just started talking. 

“I know the more you're exposed to it, the less it affects you. Probably why you didn’t pass out this time. And I wasn't terrified or anxious. I can’t promise those emotions won’t make you pass out.” Duke was staring at her and now she felt fear. She’d kept to herself for the past few months because if he knew how she felt, that she was in love with him, their friendship would be over. He’s in love with Audrey and She knows that, knows that she can never have him. But the longer she spent with him, the harder it was not to love him. Duke tried to act like he was this bad guy, but she saw beneath that exterior to the heart of gold within. And well, once you’ve seen Duke Crocker’s heart, it was next to impossible not to love him. 

“That was,” he looked around as if trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He stood abruptly, grabbing her hand, tugging until she was standing with him as well.

“Duke, don’t.” But he just shushed her, holding onto her hand like his life depended on it. His eyes were no longer glassy but she could tell he was still feeling what she felt. She tried to put a lid on her emotions, lessen what he was feeling but when he was touching her, holding her hands, it was next to impossible. SHe knew he could feel the love rolling off of her in waves and she would have to deal with what happened next.

“Can you feel me?” His voice was strained but determined.

“I’ve never tried. Been too afraid.”The curiosity had always been there, if her trouble worked both ways. She’d never tried it, for fear of overwhelming the poor soul who agreed to help her. 

“Try now.” She could hear the desperation in his voice so she focussed, digging through the emotions she was feeling. From what she could tell, they were all hers. She didn’t feel anything unfamiliar. SHe continued searching, trying to find something that didn't belong to her. Right when she was about to give up, a wave of affection hit her. She didn’t know how or why, but she knew that belonged to Duke. 

“Duke,” she tried to speak but more emotions began to flood her senses, more affection, love, admiration and so many others she couldn’t name. She basked in the feelings, not even trying to hide the smile on her face. “Are those?”

“Mine,” he interrupted. “They’re mine.” A laugh bubbled out of her throat, a little wet with the tears she was holding back. She wanted to say so many things, but Duke released her hand, cupping her jaw and forcing her to meet his eyes. “I know,” he said as if he could understand her. And she guessed, like this, with all of the contact between them, that he could understand everything she couldn’t say. “When I’m projecting what I feel, it doesn’t overwhelm my senses as much. Kinda puts us on an even playing ground.” She couldn’t help the smile on her face, or the sparkle in her eyes.

“I need to know,” she broke off before she could finish, the smile falling from her lips at what she was about to say next. Duke said nothing, still holding her hands, giving her the time she needed to gather her thoughts. “What about Audrey?”

“Audrey,” he questioned, like she had no reason to worry about her. “I’m not in love with Audrey. I thought I was but then I met you. It’s like I was waiting for you.” She didn’t even try to hide her sigh of relief. She was smiling again, and now Duke’s face matched her own. “I don’t know when it happened, but it did. I’m in love with you.”

She couldn’t believe Duke was the first one to say it but she was so grateful he did. “I’m in love with you too, even though that goes without saying,” she gestured to where their hands were still laced together. “I know, the more we touch, you’ll eventually get used to the wave of emotions, hopefully,” she ended in a laugh.

“I’m willing to find out if you are.” Before she could even speak a reply, Duke’s lips were on hers, his hands snaking around her back to come to rest just below her butt. He lifted and out of instinct she wrapped her legs around his back so she didn’t fall. She knew there was no way he was getting them down the stairs like this, but she didn’t care at that moment. Duke continued to kiss her as he laid her down on one of the many tables on the deck. He pulled back with a smile before trailing kisses down her neck, pushing her shirt to the side to reach her collar bones. 

“As much as I love where this is going, I would really love it if our first time was not on a dock where anyone could see us.” Duke just laughed before stepping back, offering a hand to help her up. He continued to hold her hand, even going down the ladder, only letting go when he ushered her into the room and locked the door behind them. She had no idea where her trouble would take her, but she was glad Duke was the one she would be finding it out with.

[yangsharperavery]

title: the part of you that’s her and the part of you that’s you

pairing: michael x maria

word count: 1884 words

summary: post 2x05. maria ponders the expansive, unfamiliar space of attempting to trust michael guerin again.

She wasn’t really sure how they had ended up back here. 

In a tangled mess of limbs and sheets and cyclical need.

She had been the kind of furious and wounded that rivaled the sheer power of an avalanche or a swarm of agitated insects.

The kind of hurt that lingers and can’t necessarily be undone or explained away. 

The kind of confusion that hits you like a ton of bricks even when you’ve been living long enough to know that life is full of surprises. 

And yet you’re still completely blindsided by a truth that’s knocked the wind right out of your chest.

But what was she supposed to do, really?

Where was she supposed to put all of that emotion?

Because that pain and anger and overwhelmingly loud current you feel when a steadily building trust seeps out of your pores, doesn’t actually last forever. 

Even if she wanted it to, even if she could keep it close and use it as some type of sacred armor. Even if that would help keep him at an arm’s length indefinitely. 

Would she even want that? Like actually want him out of her life?

The thing about all those initial feelings of betrayal and confusion and bewilderment is that once they subside, everything else is still there… simmering languidly against the impetus of it all.

The comfort, the familiarity, the sweetness, the genuine boundless care.

The ease.

It was so easy for them to navigate the spaces around one another and with one another.

None of it ever felt like work.

Even in the bickering or the bantering. It fit all the sorted groves and divets; filled up each other’s lack.

That doesn’t just disappear. 

So she’s not surprised that they’ve ended up like this, once again. Both barely clothed, sharing a too-small bed, beneath too thin sheets in his airstream. 

Him reading from some file with her bare feet against his bare stomach, his legs sprawled out in the opposite direction. Her across from him quietly observing his stillness and concentration in the first bits of consciousness after having just awoken. 

Her foot just barely twitches as her muscles further wake; he mindlessly grasps it with his free hand but doesn’t look up from whatever he’s reading.

So she keeps silently pondering the depth of whatever this is and how after weeks of successfully not talking to him, they’d ended up right back where they’d been prior- months ago when they were fully playing house but saying they weren’t.

Back then when she was in an elevated, near constant state of fear and worry over her mother.

When she was imperceptibly terrified and uneasy for herself.

That protruding memory causes her to realize that she’d been less and less worried or fearful for herself when he was around. 

She wondered when exactly that had started?

And why it felt like such an anchored feeling; even in the midst of shattered trust.

Had she missed it against the onslaught of everything else she was dealing with on a daily basis?

How had this crept up on her so severely?

How had he?

And why, despite all crises and disasters and reveals, had she somehow allowed him to stay?

Or at the very least return.

Sometimes attempting to bargain with your heart is a wildly futile task.

As is trying to pinpoint when he had turned into this sublime retreat, even given all these other extenuating circumstances.

The first time she had seen him again after successfully shutting him out was the day she went to Max’s to see Liz and Rosa. 

After sitting outside with them, Michael had emerged from inside the house and stopped immediately in his tracks when he saw her. 

They locked eyes for a bit longer than a moment before she looked back at Liz, who gave her a knowing look that only someone who has been exceedingly close to you in your formative years could effectively give. 

But they hadn’t spoken. 

It wasn’t the time or the place and for some reason, just them being in the same general space served a very clarifying and real purpose.

She had gone in to sit with Max for a while and say a brief prayer at his bedside. 

She whispered a few heartfelt, encouraging words to Liz and after hugging her and Rosa goodbye she thought maybe she’d have to say something to Michael. 

But she didn’t know what. She hadn’t properly located the words for it just yet.

Still so gutted by the thought of it all.

And she could see how much he was hurting.

Her hurt, his hurt. Such tumult to contend with. 

So all she could muster was a reassuring gaze and a gentle squeeze of his arm as she walked past him.

She felt him lightly sway into her fleeting frame.

She saw him in her rearview mirror on the porch watching her drive away.

He had shown up at the Pony a few days later. He hadn’t approached her or attempted to talk. 

Just drank and watched her work, he tried to be less than obvious about it yet she felt his eyes on her.

He half thought she’d throw him out. She didn’t.

He carried some things to her truck for her a few nights later without her even having to ask. 

She thanked him and didn’t realize those were the first words she’d uttered to him in quite some time.

And still, there wasn’t that necessary addressing of what had taken place between them.

The enormous breach of trust that she was still trying to wrap her mind around.

It was one thing to know that people are entitled to their secrets, it’s another to feel like a secret directly impacted you and even potentially put you or your mother in danger and those who cared about you still kept it.

The bigger thing she was trying to contend with was that, while so many people were in the know about this big secret, at least Liz and Alex were still who they’d always been.

And ultimately maybe it really wasn’t their secret to tell: not about Michael and Isobel and Max anyway.

Liz and Alex hadn’t actually changed after all.

She still knew them. They were still quite literally... people.

Michael being an alien felt so inconceivable that she wondered if she had dreamt up how he felt and tasted and smelled.

All very human.

And yet, this information of him being the furthest thing from that seemed quite plausible.

Him being from another dimension and planet made complete sense because there was this otherworldly quality. Something she had been unconsciously trying to internally reconcile.

Something about him.

And no, it wasn’t immediately obvious because she’d known him for a long time. It was slight and meager and then it grew quietly until she had suddenly realized how responsive she was to every part of him.

And it had shocked her.

And while she kept trying to convince herself of its lack of meaning, maybe she always saw this thing about him she just couldn’t properly put her finger on.

Underneath all the brooding and anger and veneer. 

Something so malleable and ethereal and constant.

She notices his expression changes as he continues to read.

“You okay?”

That expression instantly evaporates and turns relaxed as soon as he sees her lying there looking at him. 

“I am.”

She wanted to both press him and leave it alone in equal measure.

She wanted to give him the space to tell her things of his own volition but also wrestled with potentially not knowing how to convey support.

How different were all the facets of the internal inner workings of the emotional and mental alien world? And could they really be that different if he’d successfully been an alien living on this human planet all this time?

Largely undetected or found out.

He sees her looking discreetly at the file.

“It’s information about my mother,” he says softly.

“You mentioned her very briefly before when mine was missing. Was she...”

“An alien?”

Maria nods.

“Yeah, it’s a fucked up sorted story. And yet here I am, trying to figure out more of it.” 

He closes and drops the file. 

“Of course you are, how could you not? She’s part of you.”

Maria leans up and reaches her hand out to grasp his arm.

“Both the part of you that’s her and the part of you that’s you would want to know, I feel the same way,” she reassures.

His eyes get momentarily sad before he picks up her hand and brushes his lips against it. He then smooths both of his hands over her feet still in his lap.

“What happened here?” Michael gently inquires.

He points to her little pinkie toe, only half-covered with white nail polish, looking like the odd man out amongst her otherwise perfect pedicure. 

“I wasn’t paying attention and stubbed it so hard, it took most of the polish off.”

“Ow.”

“I’ve been meaning to fix it, there’s even polish in my purse, just haven’t gotten around to it.”

“You want me to do it?”

Maria smiles.

“You’re gonna paint my pinkie toe for me, Guerin?”

“I’ll paint them all for you if you want, Deluca.”

“I don’t have any remover,” she responds after contemplating his offer.

“I do.” 

Maria pauses for a moment before replying.

“Right. You had a few empty bottles in your truck that I noticed on our way back to Texas, I figured it was a car thing.”

“It does also work on scuffs on cars so you aren’t wrong,” Michael chuckles. 

“So that’s another alien thing, huh?”

“Mhm, it’s like what you’d equate 10 hours of sleep and a green juice to. Replenishes our output, sometimes our powers weaken or really tire us.”

Maria nods.

Moments later, she’s watching him enact the same level of meticulous, unrivaled concentration as he was earlier as he gently paints each one of her toenails.

She’s taken by how small yet mighty not only the gesture is, but the care he takes in performing it.

There’s a level of unbridled softness that exists within Michael Guerin that so many just didn’t have access to. 

At that moment she felt a distinct honor to witness it and to be on the receiving end of it. 

So much so that she felt emotion crowd her throat.

“Did your necklace break again?” Michael asked, pulling her out of her internal rollercoaster.

“What?”

“Yeah, the one I fixed.”

“Oh no, I actually gave it to my mom.”

“Ah,” Michael responded, leaning further over her newly painted toes and gently blowing.

Maria’s lips inadvertently parted at this move.

“I had just noticed you weren’t wearing it recently,” he admitted, still concentrating on drying her toes with the air from his mouth.

“You’re quite observant.”

“You’re the easiest thing in the world to observe.”

She smiles.

“All done,” he remarks proudly as he inspects his work.

“Hey,” Maria says gently. He looks up at her for the first time in several moments.

She leans forward over both of their laps and kisses him.

“Thanks for the pretty toes,” she says.

“Thank your mom for the pretty toes but you’re welcome for the polish,” Michael replied, kissing her.

also on ao3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #342

“in this farewell, there’s no blood, there’s no alibi  /  ‘cuz i’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies”

What’s your all-time favourite cartoon? Does anime count? In which case I'd say Fullmetal Alchemist, or the original Pokemon. If we're not including anime, then uhhhh Avatar: The Last Airbender, even though I have much more to go in the series. Have you ever taken dance lessons? What kind? Yeah, I've done a few for many years: jazz, clogging, modern, and hip hop. When did you last run and why? I literally couldn't tell you. I don't even know if I can run with the current state of my legs. My knees would probably crumple. Does your house/flat/whatever the hell you live in need cleaning? Not necessarily cleaning, but sorting. I still have boxes outside and inside my room of my stuff I need to put up somewhere... but whenever I prepare to do it, I just get so overwhelmed and shy away from it. Then there's the spare room, that's a total mess loaded with boxes and the like. Mom and I have just avoided it like the plague. Was your last relationship with a man or a woman? Woman. What do you think your next achievement will be? HOPEFULLY getting a job... Do you like mushrooms? NOOOOOOO. What dream do you remember most vividly? I'm not talking about it. Favorite kind of bread? Pumpernickel. Rabbits or hamsters? Rabbits. I've never met a nice hamster, and I just think rabbits are cuter. A movie you’ve never seen that it seems like every one else has? Harry Potter films. Favorite dog breed? I'm biased towards beagles. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Where I live, there aren't really many weighty trees with low branches. Just pine trees. Most common lie you tell? That I'm "fine" when I'm not. Ever seen your parents make out? Jc no, I'll take a hard pass there. Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek dermals at all, but you do you 100%. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes; I was raised Roman Catholic. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Mom used to for many years until I became an adult and she just realized it was in vain. I haven't lived with Dad since I was a teenager, but when my parents were together, he usually didn't say anything. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, thankfully. I'd stop talking to the person immediately. What would you do if your parent hit you? I honestly feel like I'd slap them back and get the fuck out. Or just freeze in shock and cry. What's your most common mood? Stressed but distracted. Do you like poems? Yeah, usually. Ever kissed someone half-naked? Uh yeah. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Do you still play Pokémon? I play Pokemon GO, and I've actually been tempted to get out my DS and play one of the games I have (I can't remember which). I do find Pokemon games to be VERY grind-ey, though, so I can't play them for too long without getting bored. What is your favorite Pokémon? Ninetales. I also really love Espeon, though, and Charmander will always have my heart. Is there an animal you like that most people don't? Bats! :') Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No animal is overrated. Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? Uhhhh I don't think so. Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Most would probably consider "vulture culture" to be pretty weird, being drawn to dead animals and all... What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The breakup with Jason. I learned that some people make promises they aren't afraid to break, that someone can promise "forever" and not mean it, that the most unexpected can just snap their fingers and forget about you... I learned a lot. And most things, not positive. What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? 1.) To be able to financially support myself by just freelance nature photography; 2.) sooo many different kinds of pets; and 3.) to be totally rid of my mental illnesses. Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I would if I was the one who bought groceries and stuff. I do however take Vitamin D once a week for my legs. Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? JUST THREE??????? FUCK MAN idk. Uhhh well there's of course Darkiplier and Wilford Warfstache, then uhhh probably Pyramid Head. If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idk, I'd really need to be more educated on their lore before I made that decision. Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I both do and don't want to resume learning German. I got very good at it and could have basic conversations, but lack of application has slaughtered my vocabulary. Now it's like, it'd be nice to try again, but for what purpose? I don't think I'll ever actually apply it to my life, so it just seems like it'd be a load of wasted effort. But then on the other hand, I also feel that doing something you simply want to do isn't a waste of time. Idk. What is one of your firmest beliefs? Equality for all. No race, religion, whatthefuckever makes you more or less valuable than someone else. Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? Oh yes. Depression and anxiety, mostly. Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I definitely try, and I'll certainly admit to them. How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I just want more compassion, less violence, more understanding... What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? In short, I believe that something sentient created the universe, and it/they/he/she/what-have-you just... let life play out from there, I think. I like to believe there's a plane of consciousness like an afterlife that exists, but if not, I don't really care. I hope the evil get what was coming to them, and the good get back what they gave, but maybe we're all better off without life after death. We'll all find out one day. Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? Some, yes; others, not so much. This is very situational. Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Haha, you're asking an avid player. I enjoy it, but not as much as I used to. At one point I was a Heroic raider, sometimes dabbling in Mythic, but now I'm just mostly a casual mount collector that likes chatting with my guildies and just doing dailies 'n shit. I owe a lot to the game, honestly; it helped me stay occupied throughout the breakup, and still today gives me something to do. What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have an Acer Nitro with Windows 10. Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I'm no longer in school. If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? No, but I would like to join a photography course somewhere. A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo just made me hate war more than I innately did. What genres of music are your favorite? Just metal as an umbrella term. Some heavy stuff, some less, some in the middle, some leaning towards other genres... but I just like metal. Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No. Wouldn't "fate" just make it all... worthless? Like we're just storybook characters with a predetermined ending? What are your opinions on the media? One word: manipulative. What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I REALLY want a PS4, especially lately. There's just a lot of games I REALLY want to play. Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? We're already *too* reliant on it, which I do believe is a bad thing. I know, absolutely hysterical for me to be talking. What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don't think I've ever had a truly odd ice cream flavor. There's this local place though that makes a kind that tastes JUST like s'mores, and I can fucking murder a cup of that. What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? They're limiting and devalue uniqueness, imo. I know very, very few people who totally fit a certain stereotype, so why even bother. Like I don't care if you use them as adjectives to some extent, just don't put too much weight on them. Just be you. Do you believe that history repeats itself? It's not necessarily doomed to, but it happens sometimes, obviously. Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Depends on the mistake. What was the most interesting class you had in school? Probably Mythology in high school. Do you write? If so, what? Yeah, meerkat role-play. And every now and again, poetry. Do you have a favorite culture? No; I'm not educated on nearly enough to pick one. Do you believe in global warming? Have you researched it? Lol no shit I do. I don't exactly think it takes much research to see with your own two eyes that it's factual. Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos, if I had to pick. What comedy movie is your favorite? White Chicks. Have you ever meditated? Yes. Doesn't work for me. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Realizing it was my choice to liberate myself and my happiness from my ex. He didn't and never should've carried it, because that's my right. What do you like about springtime? Aaaaall the flowers. <3 How have you handled having to stay in? It's not really different from my average day, so... How would your friends describe you? Quiet and overthinks literally everything. Have you ever hallucinated? When I was coming off a certain med in middle school, I saw black moving shadows. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program I attended for two months following my suicide attempt. It's where I met my psychiatrist, who set my medication straight. Medicine besides though, I learned so many coping techniques and just how to deconstruct my trauma. As well as possible, anyway. What is the worst decision you ever made? Handing over the ability to make happiness for myself to another person. What is your favorite arcade game? Don't have one. Do you feel neglected? No. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, Arts, Science. Are you allergic to pollen? Yep. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? I probably never will be in complete totality. Do you always answer your phone? No. I only ever do if I recognize the number. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Today is actually my sister's birthday. What song is currently stuck in your head? I have Halocene's cover of "What I've Done" on a loop right now. It has me absolutely covered in goosebumps. Do you ever use coloring books? Not really anymore. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? Not to my knowledge, no. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just your normal, mildly hot salsa. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? Mom's car hasn't been washed in... well, years, given its bumper. Mom worries that in a car wash, it'll be broken off (it is literally held on with a lot of zip ties and duct tape), and we ourselves don't want to wash it, so... Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I know we have one or two, but idk what they're called. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Dad never went to college. Mom changed her major a few times, but her latest was social work, I believe. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? Not at all. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? Because it's hot as fuck and humid. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I don't know. Hopefully I'll start one soon when I leave PHP and pursue a job... What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I'm always in my room. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I feel awful admitting I do quite the opposite... Being in the dark during the day affects my depression, so I'll have my lamp (or both) on even if it's just sort of shaded inside. Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Eh, it depends on the food. I'm not very adventurous with foods though. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I do. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... It wasn't "kinky," but it was a dream lmao. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? That's how I ended the whole Joel childishness. Which friend do you confide in most? My mom. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your favorite doughnut? That's so hard. :( Krispy Kreme's normal glazed though probably takes the cake. I also love chocolate frosted and just totally plain, though. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Neither. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Dad did growing up. Now nobody does or needs to. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Yeah. Have you ever heard voices? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My nieces. What do you want the most in life? To feel like I made a difference, even a tiny one. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? OBVIOUSLY Amy Lee's. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? *shrug* What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? Hm. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, which I absolutely do not, I'd rather have my own. I know I'd feel a deeper connection. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you do/say something you don't want your s/o to know about, you're cheating. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you recycle? Yes. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? People have thought I don't try hard enough before. Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. ^ What about your "Z"s? Yes. What are you most known for? My art "skill," at least irl. How do you feel about shameless self-promoting? Depends on when, where, and how. As someone who's trying to be a freelance photographer, I get that it's sadly necessary, but there are some places it's just uncalled for.

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 11 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Tessering

Part 11, coming at you! This part doesn’t have too much Sonic x Y/n, but don’t worry my darlings, I am saving that for the next chapter ;) This one includes some mother-daughter relationships and tons of foreshadowing. Enjoy!

Warnings - slight angst, robotnik x stone mentions

♡♡♡

“Why so down, Sonic?” A man with a head as smooth as an eggshell asked his pet boulder as it sat next to him in his poorly repaired drone. The boulder had tiny little dents in its craters that were obviously created by Robotnik to form a dopey grin and two misshapen eye sockets. The man chortled to himself as he tapped the cracked glass where an electric blue quill sat, charging up his entire machine. “Aww, are you sad because I’m coming back home?”

Robotnik stared intently at the little boulder, watching as it practically began to sweat under his intense gaze. He finally sat back up and let out yet another loud chuckle, filling the silent air around him for miles. “Sorry to disappoint, bud, but you and your little girlfriend are going to be toast as soon as I wrap my hands around your puny little necks~” He sang out the last part, his time spent in isolation taking an immense toll on his sanity. His tethered and gloved hands expertly found their way across his very dented control panel, clicking on a bunch of buttons that ended up making the drone begin to whirr. The air surrounding him that reeked of fungus began to churn at the new winds. 

“Come on, baby,” Robotnik grumbled, pushing his prized invention to the limit as it began to levitate its misshapen and damaged body a couple feet off the ground. The engines worked in tandem with one another, struggling to compensate for the extreme damage that had been inflicted upon them. Even Robotnik’s expert repair jobs using the emergency kits Stone had made him place in every one of his drones wasn’t enough to make up for it all. 

He guessed Stone was right for once. Shocker.

The erratic energy being extracted from Sonic’s quill mingled with the artificial power he was able to save. As the drone began to sputter, he quickly grabbed onto the throttle in an attempt to steady the drone, even his hideously long mustache hairs twitching with anticipation. He had to do it. He had to make this work. He couldn’t stand another second trapped here with Mushroom Bertha, Mushroom Kick-Sonic’s-Ass, Mushroom Carl, and Mushroom I-Want-A-Hedgehog-Skin-Rug or IWAHS for short. After a couple of minutes spent in agonizing suspense, a little glimmer began to form in the air before him. A malicious grin made its way across his lips as he realized that his plan was working.

The energy coming from his drone was enough to cause a small rip in the universe, mostly due to Sonic’s alienated DNA and ability to tesser between universes. The tear grew a decent size wider, its edges glowing an abnormal white and a very faint image of what he presumed to be Green Hills glimmered within it. It was right there. He was going to make it! It was barely big enough for him to pass through, but it was all he needed. With a surge of energy and Robotnik practically gritting his teeth until they chipped, the drone shot through the portal in a flash of blinding light, crash landing onto a very mossy green ground. The impact made Robotnik slam his face against the throttle, but luckily his gigantic mustache hairs cushioned the blow. The drone slowly began to let off steam, already having used all of its juices to float for less than thirty minutes. A steady blow of steam began to shoot up into the air from one of the drones' important capsules, and Robotnik was quick to regain consciousness, standing up and practically falling back down into his seat from the excitement. He looked around the area, hoping taking over his entire internal chemistry as he looked at his surroundings. The hope died almost instantly as he came to a horrific conclusion.

This… this wasn’t Green Hills! 

What the actual fuck?!

There were oddly misshapen trees and abnormal creatures waddling around the perimeter and LOOP-DE-LOOPS?! The anger got the better of him as he picked up the boulder sitting next to him and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“God damnit, Sonic! This is all your fault!” And the tiny boulder was sent flying out of the drone to land against the grass, where it rolled down a hill.

It was safe from the evil man’s clutches at last.

Robotnik let out another frustrated groan and slammed his fists down onto the dash, causing even more smoke to secrete from vital components of the drone. But he didn’t care right now. He had been working on building up all of that power for months. To have it all lost getting him somewhere that wasn’t even where he needed to be - where those goddamn hedgehogs were! And now he was stuck in this crazy backwards land with nothing to defend himself with. At least back with the mushrooms the only predator was sleep deprivation.

And of course, that was self inflicted.

“Oh thank god.” A sudden voice broke through his frustrations. Robotnik’s head snapped up so quickly he was sure he heard his neck crack. He was expecting the worst: three headed bear, snake crossed with a lizard, horse sized horsefly, something deadly and positively hideous. So when he saw a little black and red hedgehog staring at him intently with ruby irises and what looked to be a gun and a little bag situated around his hips, he was very, VERY surprised.

“Well, who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Robotnik couldn’t help but blurt. The hedgehog looked incredibly relieved as he came closer to the drone, showing his gloved hands in a means of presenting no harm.

“My name is Shadow. I was created by your assistant, Agent Stone.” Robotnik’s heart stopped at the sound of his name. “He sent me through the different universes to find you. It’s taken forever, but I finally did it. I have more rings left to get us back to the planet where Hedgehog Sonic and Hedgehog Y/n reside.” 

Robotnik was floored, to say the least. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Agent Stone, the little guy who made delicious lattes and who knew him better than anyone else, MADE a hedgehog and sent him to help Robotnik defeat the two once and for all? 

He owed him a thank you. Or maybe more than that, if you catch my drift ;)

“W-Well then, I suppose it’s nice to have you on board, Mr. Shadow. Unfortunately, my drone was a bit destroyed during the movement here, so unless you have a giant bag of tools next to your gun there, I-”

“Don’t worry, Sir, I’ve got it handled,” Shadow interrupted him, turning around to point into a throng of bushy trees. “I met an Echidna along the way who might be of use to us. Perhaps we could brainwash him into assisting us.” 

Damn. Agent Stone really did a number on this guy. Robotnik liked it. 

♡♡♡

A few hours later and a lot of impressive manipulation, Shadow and Robotnik had recruited yet another member onto their team: Knuckles the Echidna. He was a very burly red thing with intimidating eyes and an unfortunate lack of brains. But, he had resources and his muscle could even out Robotnik’s brains and Shadow’s apparent fiery temper. They were able to convince him that Y/n and Sonic were two beings from a far away planet that were power hungry and had a plot to destroy the entire universe, including this planet. Of course, Knuckles was petrified and said that they must be stopped immediately. The guy was also pretty handy with supplying the needed instruments to fix up Robotnik’s drone. 

Of course, it wasn’t the best job, but it would have to do for now. After Robotnik had done his little patch job, the trio were beginning to prep for their return to earth.

“I assume that you are very excited to defeat the two hedgehogs, Doctor,” Shadow spoke with authority. “But I think it would be better to hide out in a secluded spot for a little while in order for us to build up our resources. We wouldn’t want to go straight into battle without being prepared.” 

Even though Robotnik was really looking forward to crushing Bonnie and Clyde, he had to admit that Shadow had a point. He nodded slowly. “We’ll hide out in the woods in order to gather resources and start the formation of Metal Sonic. Agreed? Agreed.” Even though he wasn’t looking for a confirmation, the two nodded despite. Everything was going according to plan. Robotnik had gathered two allies and had already begun his plan to form a metal-based version of Sonic. For two reasons, really. The first was to use Sonic’s greatest power and turn it into his weakness, and the second was to try and trick Y/n into not being able to fight the one that she loves. They were going to destroy the two hedgehogs once and for good, donating their bodies to Robotnik’s favorite charity: science.

But what these little twerps didn’t know was that a certain fox had been spying on the three of them ever since Robotnik had crash landed a couple feet away from his lab. It was finely secluded within the weeping willow trees, so he hadn’t been able to see it. But his security measures sure saw the mustache guy.

The little fox’s stomach began to fill with dread as he thought about all of this. These guys were obviously up to no good. Anyone who loved the color combo red and black was obviously up to no good. Especially someone who grew their mustache past five inches. 

On each side.

Those two hedgehogs they had been mentioning… What were their names? Bonnie and Clyde? Funny named for hedgehogs, but he guessed that their world was different than his. He began to rummage through the different gizmos and gadgets he had spent ages on until he finally gathered all of the materials he needed. His little gloved fingers found their way to his energy-tracker as he calibrated it to their energy sources. Funny, he thought. One of them was stronger than the other. 

He narrowed his eyes in determination, steadying himself as he thought of the realm they lived in and tossed one of his golden rings. The second the portal opened, he jumped through, landing on what appeared to be a cliff looking over a small town. Relief filled his orangish-yellow chest as he looked across. He hoped he knew what he was doing. 

Extending his two tails, he leapt off the cliff.

♡♡♡

“M-Mom?” Maddie stirred in her sleep. 

“Mommy?” 

The young mother’s eyes slowly opened to be greeted with the sight of her daughter who had tears streaming down her cheeks. The sight of her daughter in distress kicked all of the sleep out of her as she instantly shot up in bed and immediately started wiping away the tears. Most of them got brushed into the fur around her eyes, but she didn’t care.

“N/n, baby, what’s wrong?” She asked softly, trying her best not to wake up her husband who still lay sound asleep behind her. Y/n only continued to cry harder, her e/c eyes glowing in the dark.

“I-I’m sorry, Mommy. I-I didn’t w-want to see i-it, I-” Maddie gently shushed her, standing on her feet and expertly lifting up the frail hedgehog onto her hip, holding her like she was a toddler. 

“Y/n, honey, you’re not making any sense.” She glanced over at the clock and realized it was barely five in the morning. What on earth was she doing up this late? Y/n was in such hysterics that all she was able to do was plant her face into Maddie’s shoulder and continue to cry, her chest feeling like a million daggers were being dug into it. Maddie’s heart was ripping at the seams for her daughter, as the last time she had seen her this upset was when Sonic had died. She quickly and quietly took the weeping hedgehog out of her room, making sure not to make a sound as she closed the door to leave her sleeping husband alone, and continued through the darkened halls until they made it to the main bathroom. She closed the door behind them and set the hedgehog onto the counter, grabbing a wad of tissues and quickly dabbing her eyes while Y/n wrapped her arms around her trembling torso.

“I-I’m s-sorry-” She hiccuped, choking on the mucus being created from her tears. Maddie’s gaze softened.

“Sweetie, what on earth could you have to be sorry for?” To her surprise, Y/n’s eyes only filled with guilt and self-disgust as she looked down at the floor. 

“...what happened?” Maddie gently cupped her daughter’s furry face in her hands and stared into her liquid e/c eyes. The deeper she looked into them, the more she was able to picture Y/n before she had turned into a hedgehog, back when she was a human. The little hedgehog exhaled a shaky breath and wrung her hands together.

“I… I woke up to singing. And I followed it outside, and there was this… thing out there. It was calling to me, and when I touched it, this is going to sound insane, but it showed me pictures of the future. I-I saw Robotnik, and I saw me and Sonic with two other people and then… the last one… M-Mommy, it looked like someone was trying to k-kill me-” Maddie’s heart stopped in her chest, her eyes widening in horror. Fresh tears began to spill down Y/n’s cheeks even faster. “I-I don’t want to die!”

Maddie quickly enveloped her in a tight hug, pressing her daughter’s head into her chest and stroking her quills gently. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. You’re not going to die.”

“H-how do you k-know that? M-my powers are growing a-and I don’t know how to s-stop it, I don’t want to kn-know how we’re going to d-die, I-” 

Maddie hushed her, continuing to stroke her quills. They sat like this for quite some time, with Maddie consoling her hysterical daughter until her sobs finally died down and were replaced with melancholic sniffles. Maddie’s heart continued to pound, however, fear and confusion coursing through her veins. She was trying with all her might to wrap her brain around the matter, but she was the one who had had the worst time figuring out how Sonic and Y/n’s powers worked in tandem with one another. Even Tom relatively understood better than she could. She knew that Y/n had vocal telekinesis, but seeing the future? Little wisp-like creatures? It didn’t seem like those had ever been mentioned or used before. 

What was going on? Was her daughter truly in danger?

Her grip around her tightened. Y/n exhaled softly and it was then that Maddie realized she had fallen asleep. A small smile crossed her lips as she picked her daughter back up and began to make her way back into the living room. She could have just taken her to her bedroom, but in all honesty, she felt safer leaving her with Sonic than by herself. As she walked through the darkened hallways, she tried to silence the red alarms blaring endlessly throughout her mind. 

Something was wrong.

She could feel it. She didn’t even need magical powers to feel it. Her breath hitched in her throat as she made her way down the stairs, making sure not to trip as she entered the living room. Sonic still lay sound asleep on the couch, not having moved an inch since Y/n had woken up. Maddie gently set her daughter down on the couch, resting her head on Sonic’s chest and covering the two with a fleece blanket. Her fingers softly traced Y/n’s jawline as she slowly stood back up, a small, yet sad, smile staying on her lips.

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” she whispered into the silence. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

♡ a.a.

[psychicprincesscreation]

NUANCE

Edit 7 (7/12): I didn't realize I kept breaking the link when I was trying to come up with a good title lol my bad.

Last two titles: "I'm not your bass-slut anymore." (That didn't exactly fit the narrative.)

"Don't fuck your idols. :)"

Since everyone is talking about accountability, let me put it succinctly: I was 22, this was consensual for me, I was a "groupie" who knowingly emotionally cheated on my then-bf with Bassnectar for months, I broke it off & moved out because I expected more from the relationship than I ever got.

As one person on IG stated: I was just a groupie whose fantasy didn't go the way I wanted it to. Lol it's true, but that isn't the whole story.

I know it's easy to focus on how I was "old enough to know better" and the harmful choices that I made, but don't forget that Bassnectar actively pursued me even after finding out about my boyfriend -- I'm sure he wouldn't have had any problem finding a single girl to talk to instead, given his stature.

He offered me concert tickets, plane tickets, money to buy an apartment, he told me to email him as often as possible, he told me to keep everything a secret and to lie to my boyfriend over and over.

He tried to "save" me with controlling advice about eating, sleeping, not partying (ironic, considering that he is a DJ) not pursuing music journalism, not hanging out with any male friends whatsoever, where I "should" work. This was all before we ever met in person.

People don't realize how hard it is to say no to your idols, especially when they are CONSTANTLY offering gifts that I considered very extravagant at my age.

This wasn't a normal affair; I had absolutely nothing to offer Bassnectar but myself, yet he spoke to me like I was a star. He told me we could "go deep" and that he wanted to "mate" with me.

Of course my dumbass young-adult drug-addled mind is going to fall in love with the idea of him.

CONSENT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. I didn't consent to a relationship as two normal people sneaking around. I became a cheating asshole who was misled by a rich & famous liar. I never said what I did was right -- in fact, I made it very clear that I did something wrong, too.

I also said that my story is NOT as bad as the other accusers'. I absolutely do NOT think that I had it worse than anyone else. I think my story is important because it shows that his behavior wasn't limited to people underage.

Hopefully my candor denotes honesty and by admitting my faults in this situation, people can see that Bassnectar's emotional manipulation was real and calculated, and most certainly did not start or end with me.

Side note: Apparently Bassnectar DOES cuddle... I guess he just didn't want to cuddle me that night. Ouch! :)

Edit 6 (7/12): Too many typos to fix so I'm just leaving them now lol. Added detail.

Edit 5 (7/12): Just because I say I'm slutty and I like sluts, doesn't mean every girl/women who was involved with Bassnectar is a slut. I'm just owning that label to change MY narrative for MYSELF. I really don't think there's anything wrong with being slutty -- it's always the rest of the world that has a problem.

I wrote this stream-of-consciousness, so I wanted to mention that sometimes my statements that involve other women may seem brusque, but I'm on the women's side. I mean to convey disdain for the way Bassnectar treated us (as a secret "harem",) rather than jealousy or annoyance toward the women. I hope it comes off that way, but I don't know who is reading this and how some might interpret my words.

Edit 4 (7/10):

Removed names. A story mentioned in this post wasn’t true. Either just a lie (to make someone look bad,) or I don’t remember it properly ‘cause it’s been so long. If it was my fault: my bad. 

Edit 3 (7/7): 

FIXED SOME TYPOS! 

Edit 2 (7/7):

I like sluts. Stop making us feel bad for wanting love *and sex, too. 

Another thought: Bassnectar probably pursued a relationship with me because I had a boyfriend. Therefore, I would be more secretive and would have to take some of the responsibility and guilt in this situation, too. And that is true. I do feel guilty about the lying and sneaking. I think that it was inevitable that I would break up with my then-boyfriend, but it really wasn’t Bassnectar’s place to accelerate the break-up by giving me the impression that Bassnectar would be my boyfriend instead. This wasn’t friendly advice given to me by someone older, this was tactical. It makes me wonder if a lot of girls/women don’t want to come forward because they are afraid that the truth will come out about their own affairs? 

Don’t be afraid to tell your story because women-hating assholes try to dissect and expose your secrets in an attempt to discredit you! Bassnectar is the one who needs to be exposed for HIS indiscretions -- this is about what HE did wrong.  Edit 1 (7/7): 

- Bassnectar told me that he was coming to NYC and because we had an online relationship, I thought that he was coming to see me. My friend told me today that Gov Ball 2013 was the same weekend, so I think he may have actually been in NYC for that reason (I don’t think he was scheduled to play on the flyer,) but I was delusional about it.  - I removed the screenshot of his phone number from the post because I don’t want to violate any doxx rules. I am still willing to compare this phone number with other women/accusers to corroborate our stories. :)  - This is my story told from my perspective. I was an adult and I’m not posting this with the intent of legal action, or revenge (although I do admit that this relationship was devastating and heartbreaking for me.) I just want people to know what kind of person he is. - My story is not as harrowing as some of the other accusers’, but that doesn’t make it invalid. - Even now, reliving everything hurts me and I wish I could say that it was real, but now that I’m older I am wise enough to know that it was all lies. - I stand with the women who Bassnectar has hurt in similar, or worse, ways.  

----

My relationship was short-lived, but it was so eventful for me that I remember it clearly. I'm mentioning many minuscule details because I think that could help prove the validity of other victims' stories.

Writing in bullet points because it's easier for me to sort through the memories. I'm calling him Bassnectar because the "Lorin" I was talking to is someone that I feel hurt and appalled by now.

• I don't have social media/email screenshots because I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter years ago. Bassnectar asked me specifically to delete our emails because his "girlfriend had caught him" and asked me to get rid of the evidence because she was "demolished." (I will go into a bit more detail about that later on.)  • I don’t have a “smoking gun” that skeptics are looking for, but that’s what happens when someone asks you to keep everything a secret and delete everything that shows you were communicating.

----

• This happened in 2013 over many months, plus Bassnectar texted me a few times about once a year after our "relationship" ended. • I was 22 at the time. I'm from NYC and frequently went to clubs, shows, events, and festivals with my then-boyfriend (who I lived with) & the same group of friends. • Bassnectar was one of our favorite artists and we'd seen him perform several times in several states. • My friends had a private Facebook group where we'd tell each other about shows and make arrangements to travel/meet up/stay over each other's places. • I was very interested in music journalism at the time and occasionally wrote show reviews for my friend's online music magazine. • I actively used Twitter. I basically tweeted at every DJ we liked, and always posted reply screenshots in our private Facebook group to share with my friends. • Things became complicated with my then-boyfriend, but we still lived together. We had recently gotten back together around the first time Bassnectar DM'd me on Twitter.

• Bassnectar responded to a Twitter pic I posted of our mini-fridge with a Bassnectar logo sticker and said that he "liked my fridge" or something. • I screenshotted this and posted it in my group because he was the biggest artist who had responded to me at that point. • I thought I could use this as an opportunity to interview him for my friend's mag. • After I already posted the screenshot in my group and had responded to his DM, he sent another message asking me not to screenshot him because he "hates that." • I deleted the screenshot from the friend Facebook group. I stopped screenshotting and sharing our conversations with my FB group immediately after he asked. • I continued to chat with Bassnectar via Twitter and said that I was a big fan of his merch and that I bought several things at all the shows I've attended. • I asked to interview him at some point in the conversation, and he skirted over the request.  • Instead, he gave me his email (bassnectar2012) and asked me to send him merchandise ideas. • I slapped together a few simple, quick ideas on Photoshop or something and sent them to him.

(I don’t know how to embed a picture on Tumblr lol -- will update.)  • You can see that the image I sent is no big deal, and all the files were similar, but he responded as if they were the greatest things he had ever seen. He definitely made me feel special and talented. • We emailed regularly and relatively frequently for days. • Emails are exchanged back-and-forth and eventually I asked to interview him again and he agreed. • I gave him my number and he called me. My then-boyfriend was aware that I was in contact with Bassnectar, with my original intention of interviewing him. • My then-bf was in the room when Bassnectar called me for the first time. • Bassnectar didn't want to be interviewed; he wanted to get to know me. I agreed to just chat at first. • He told me not to call him Bassnectar because that was his "band" and that I should call him Lorin. • At some point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, even though things were complicated with my then-bf and we were technically together.       > I know I'm going to be chastised for doing this, but I've learned years ago that I made a bad choice. Honestly, I still wanted an interview, and I am well-known for leading with my sexuality. This is when I started becoming deceitful with my then-partner. Simply put, I was just more enticed by the idea of advancing my career, and eventually the allure of potentially being Bassnectar's girlfriend, so lying seemed best. Just because I’m flawed, too, doesn’t mean Bassnectar did nothing wrong. 

• My then-bf confronted me about not saying that we were together. I felt guilty and the next time I spoke to Bassnectar, I confessed that I was back together with my then-boyfriend and I wasn't single. (I don't remember if it was via text or voice call.) • Bassnectar was upset that I lied, but continued to talk to me nonetheless through text and email.

• He made me feel like my writing was profound and touching, and that we were falling in love. • He would tell me that he wanted to "bring me the sun," or "get me a puppy." He said things that were romantic and poetic and I felt heartened to respond to what I thought was love. • He said he had $10,000 in his mattress and he wanted to get me an apartment in NYC, so I didn't have to live with my then-bf anymore. • He would text me before and sometimes immediately after he played shows then say he was going to sleep by like 12am (typically.) It was easy to keep up with where he was playing via social media.  • He offered to fly me to his show in Red Rocks so I could attend. (I didn't accept.)

• He called me from time-to-time and told me not to tell my then-bf who I was speaking to. • One day he had me call a different phone number, which he said was his "home phone." • He told me a story about a beautiful girl named (removed)? Who he had a falling out with because she mentioned that Bassnectar told her that he didn't like Steve Aoki. (I don't remember that story in detail -- I think he was telling me so I wouldn't tell other people when he talked about other artists.) > Edit (7/10): This person messaged me to say that’s not what actually what happened between them. • One day I was speaking to Bassnectar on the phone and didn't answer when my then-bf called on his way home from college classes (I always answered right away.) He asked who I was speaking to and I admitted "Lorin."

• When I called Bassnectar back, he became annoyed that I told the truth and said that I should tell my then-bf that I meant my girlfriend Lauren instead. • I began to sneak around more, lie more often about who I was speaking to on the phone, and texted or emailed Bassnectar almost every single day. • He said we should skip Camp Bisco 2013 and just spend time together. (Obviously anyone who attended Camp Bisco knows that didn't actually happen lol.) • He was flirtatious, charming, and always offered me tickets to events, or sometimes to fly me to where he was. I didn't accept any of this then.

• He told me that I shouldn't do any drugs, not even smoke weed. All of my friends were casually experimenting back then, and I was equally as candid as I am now about everything I did. He told me not to do drugs at his shows, or any shows, and especially not around guy friends. • Me and my friends traveled to see a show in Philly and stayed with friends. When I texted saying I was mostly with guys (my friend group was mostly guys at the time,) he asked if I "felt safe" and offered to get me a hotel. I thought it was unusual because I always felt very protected by my male friends. • He told me that I shouldn't hang out with guy friends, or have guy friends at all. • He told me that guy friends all wanted to sleep with me and I didn't realize it. • He told me I should eat healthier and exercise regularly -- it was very weird and controlling. He just didn’t want me to be myself.  • He told me that he had a girlfriend who had two abortions. I think because we were talking about relationships?  • He told me that he grew up in a hippie commune and was Christian and he questioned his priest and that his mom was a poet laureate. It just seemed like he wanted me to get to know him at the time. • He told me I was co-dependent with my boyfriend and that I needed to become independent and move out. • He told me I should make lists of my life goals as an independent person and email it to him. • He told me not to tell anyone about us talking. I told all of my girl friends, but it was a "girl code" situation and none of the guys or my then-bf knew what was going on. • We talked A LOT and often, but all of this only happened in a matter of months.

• Time passes and our emotional affair eventually becomes physically intimate when he says that he is going to fly to NYC. This is JUNE 2013! He played at Electric Zoo 2013, but that wasn't until Labor Day, so I'm not sure why he really needed to go to NYC, but it definitely wasn't for a show because me and my friends would have been there. > NOTE (7/7): My friend read this and mentioned that Gov Ball 2013 was the weekend before, so there is a good chance that Bassnectar was already in NYC for some reason and didn't actually come to see me personally like I was led to believe. lol.

• He alleged that he would see me again around Labor Day when he came back for EZoo, too.

• I am from Staten Island, and wasn't totally familiar with Manhattan's layout at the time, but I think that the hotel he was staying at was in Midtown. It's been 7 years since this happened, but I tried my damnedest today to figure out exactly which hotel it was -- there are soo many in that area alone.  • If Bassnectar says any of this isn't true, then he's lying because there will definitely be a plane ticket or something with his name on it to NYC in JUNE 2013. > NOTE (7/7): I thought he was there to see me specifically, so the dates he told me was staying in NYC are probably not 100% accurate, but there is definitely some proof somewhere on his end that he came to NYC for whatever reason. The lies he told me are just coverup to make me lose credibility if this ever came out. 

• He said he had a hotel for three days. I think it was a Mon-Wed? I took off work those days so I could see him everyday that he said he would be in NYC. If he has no record of checking into a hotel around the time I'm citing, then his manager probably did it for him. I believe his name is Carlos. (I'm going by the memory of what Bassnectar told me.)

• Bassnectar met me in person at the Staten Island Ferry (Manhattan side) and we walked to Battery Park and sat on a bench and talked. • I felt extremely shy and awkward because I knew that by meeting up in-person, I had given up with my now-ex. The whole thing was conflicting and unfair to so many people, but it was too late now. • Bassnectar frequently complimented me in person. He said things like, he was dying to smell my neck, that he loved my wrists because they were delicate like a bird's frame.  • He said that he felt self-conscious that he would be recognized because he's used to being recognized in crowds. • He would pet and caress me, but didn't try to kiss me in public. • He told me that he got his hair washed at a hair salon and he gave the hair dresser a ($50 or $100?) tip and looked in the window to see her reaction and she was crying because she was so happy.  • He convinced me to go back to his hotel. We took a cab there. It didn't take that long, which is why I'm convinced it was Midtown. He never told me which hotel it was, but I didn't realize it was actually because he didn't want a trail back to him. I guess it worked.

(I'm about to get very detailed about my memories, so trigger warning for making people feel uncomfortable.)

• When we got to his hotel, he became physical with me very quickly, but he said he wouldn't kiss me first. That I had to do it first. So I did. • It progressed into kissing, cuddling, him touching me all over in bed with our clothes on. He dirty-talked a lot. I also remember that he moaned and grunted a lot, and I wasn't used to any of that. • At one point, I untied his hair and let it down and he joked that I was making sure he was really Bassnectar and not his assistant that I was meeting. • He told me about his go-go dancer friend who had fake boobs. I can't remember why. • I remember him kissing me against the wall, and he said something like, I want to fuck you against the wall and hold you up with only my dick. It was way too specific to forget. (It didn't happen, though.) • We inevitably had full-on sex after the on/off touching/kissing/talking. • He said he didn't want to wear a condom at first, but he thought he should. We did, but it felt like a test to see what I would say. • I remember that he wanted me to have an orgasm, and I instructed him which position worked best for me. • He orgasmed by having sex with me from behind and asked me to look back at him. I remember him draping his long hair over my back. How could I forget that? -_- • One of my girl friends texted me ("How are you plants doing?" was our code phrase) to check in and make sure I was okay because she knew where I was. It was monumental for me, so I told her it was great. • I sat on his lap while he looked at his laptop. • We had these deep conversations about life, and love, and the future and it seemed so real to me at the time. • I remember that I told him I was unsure if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend because he was so much older than me (I think he was 35 at the time?) • He told me about about a girl he loved named X who was also around my age. I didn't think it was that weird because I was convinced he still really liked me best, but he probably had so many "Xs" and I was just another one. • At some point, he commented on Facebook (or Twitter?) in response to someone saying he was Illuminati. Honestly, it was like we were two people hanging out because of how normal everything felt after the sexual tension was gone. 

• I remember having dinner with him at the restaurant across the street and talking about wanting to be a writer and he said I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HIM EVER. (So it wasn't normal after all.)

• I remember, back at the hotel, he asked me perverted questions like, can you show me how you make yourself orgasm? He asked me to just demonstrate on his hand so he knew what to do next time. • I don't remember much more because I wasn't planning to stay. • My other girl friend had a job interview that day and we decided to meet at the ferry to take it home together. • On my way out, he walked me to the elevator and he gave me $50 to take a cab to the ferry and to use for a cab when I came back to see him tomorrow. (For my fellow New Yorkers who doubt this story, no, that wasn't enough fare for both trips, so the amount is definitely the truth lol.)

• I went to see Bassnectar again the next day. When I asked him for the hotel address or name, he wouldn't give it to me directly. He said it was because of people stalking him or something. I don't fucking know but it was obvious confusing bullshit and I think he gave me an address that was about a block away. I think he even said he would tell the cab driver the address over the phone. There was a lot of runaround to avoid saying the exact address. (Now the reason why seems obvious.)  • My details are a bit fuzzy at this point because I remember meeting him outside the hotel and going up together, but I forget why we met outside and why we were both confused about which street the other person was standing on. • We went up to the hotel room, he worked on music on his laptop, while I sat on his lap and read Trainspotting on my Kindle. • He let me listen to what he was working on, but I don't remember it. I just remember that he was working with female vocals. • He told me he had to meet his guy friend in Williamsburg because his friend was making him lobster. Looking back, it was probably another girl.

• I asked to stay because I wanted to spend more time with him. I texted my now-ex-bf (who I still lived with) that I was staying with my friend. • Bassnectar said that normally he would say no, but for some reason he agreed and left me in the room with the room key and all his stuff. He either really trusted me, or really trusted how much control he had over me to leave me with his laptop. • I left at one point to get pizza, and came back. I watched TV, but couldn't sleep. He got back some hours later and he was drunk off wine, but I just wanted to cuddle and sleep. • He jokingly thanked me for not stealing his things. • Apparently Bassnectar DOESN'T cuddle and made that a point, but he did sleep in bed with me for a bit, before moving to the other bed in the middle of the night. (There were two beds in this hotel room.) • For anyone else who had sleepovers with Bassnectar, you know that he sleeps with his own fans for the white noise. So we slept in separate beds with his own personal fans on. It was all very bizarre. • We didn't have sex this day at all.

• The next morning I went to Duane Reade while he was still sleeping so I could get toiletries and shower since the sleepover was impromptu. • He had a meeting with someone (manager?) who was supposedly coming to stay in the room later that evening? (It was probably another girl though? idk)

• When he got back, he made me go over the list of accomplishments and goals he asked me to email to him. • He told me that I shouldn't be worried about finding someone to be in love with and it should be a lower priority on my list. • He told me that I should get a job at a restaurant or American Apparel or something and get a shitty starter apartment with only girls. • He said that finding an apartment that was pet-friendly shouldn't be a priority at all. I had a pet cat so if I moved out, that meant I would have to leave my cat behind, but that didn't matter to him. • He told me that if I wanted a serious boyfriend, I shouldn't let him see my legs or have sex with him for a long time. • When he finished life-coaching me, we watched a movie together. • He chose Spring Breakers because he was supposedly asked to do the musical score for it and turned it down (that's what he told me.) • At one point in the movie, Vanessa Hudgens jokingly gestures to her friends that she's giving a blowjob, and Bassnectar said he "didn't understand why girls sucked dick." • We had sex once more, more quickly than the first time and with much less romance. I can't remember much because I just remember feeling sad about leaving soon and like he was blowing me off suddenly. • We took a shower together after.

• I packed up my stuff and before I left he gave me $1000 in cash without warning and told me I could use it to help put a down payment for an apartment or something, but I should pay him back because it would be "good for me."    > Looking back, when he left for a short while that    morning, it was probably to take out cash to give    me when I left. • He didn't walk me to the elevator this time and he sat on his laptop while I left feeling very cheap, stupid, and crushed.

• Time passes and we talk less and less. I'm heartbroken, but still make moves to find a job and move out of my ex's ASAP. • I email Bassnectar a diatribe saying I'm feeling hurt and abandoned. I say that I felt betrayed that he made me think we were essentially going to be together after I left my boyfriend and it turned out to be all lies. • I'm having lunch with friends when he calls me and is angry saying that he told me what I should do to make my life better and that he can't just give me a job or do anything for me and that I need to do things for myself. • My friends walk over to the car where I'm on the phone and when I say I'm ready to go, he asks who I'm speaking to and I say, "my friends." • He yells at me and asks why I'm talking to him on the phone when my friends are around (he asked if he could call and I said it was okay, I didn't know we were supposed to be alone.) I tell him I will call him back. • I text him and ask to call back and his mood flipped and he's suddenly super kind and apologetic and tells me he just wants me to be independent. He reminds me that I'M the one who told HIM that he was too old for me and we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. • I am heartbroken all over again, but I move on with my life and move out within the next month or so.

> I actually did get a waitressing job as per his suggestion and saved money from that + the grocery store I already worked at and moved to BK by August 2013. I didn't use the money he gave me at first because I thought it was a reason for us to see each other again, and I was afraid to spend it in case I couldn't earn enough to pay him back by the time I saw him. (I never saw him again, though.) > In case you're wondering, I did spend it eventually when I started to resent him for blowing me off.

• I speak to Bassnectar very rarely, and only via text. He doesn't call anymore, even when I ask. • One day while I'm at work, he sends me a video of a beach he's supposedly vacationing at. • When we DO speak, he asks for nudes, usually. • When I send them, he says he feels guilty since “he has a girlfriend” and that we should stop. • Contact is so infrequent, when we catch up about my life, he gets annoyed if I mention I'm seeing any guys, but I never think he really cares because he stopped caring about me a long time ago. (If he ever did at all.)

• I still tried for months to maintain any kind of relationship with him because I truly thought we had something special, but he was always too busy for me. It fucking sucked because he was always in the back of my mind now that I was *~independent~* like he said he wanted me to be so many times.

• One random day when I was too busy to chat with him, I remember he actually DID call me because he said he lost a sound file and wanted me to record myself saying "I really like it." A few times to use on a track. I guess I took too long to get back bc 15 mins later, he texted to say he got it from someone else. I couldn't do it anyway because I was dealing with some other personal stuff. I forgot about it soon after. • I didn't listen to the album NSVB for a long time after it came out bc I was still hurt, but when I did.... I heard that fucking sound bite in whatever song it's on (I really don't care to know) and it fucked me up. • I was conflicted thinking, shit, did I blow my last chance for "us" ? I was still hung up on this asshole as if he were just some ex because of that emotional manipulation. • Would that have solidified what we supposedly had? Or would that have just been another way he used me? I began to resent him.

• Fast forward a few months and I'm drunk with my girl friend at home and text Bassnectar for the lols. I say that I should ask him for tickets to BASSLIGHTS 2013 in VA to make up for him being such an asshole. • Surprisingly he agrees on the condition that I only go with girl friends, don't do any drugs, and say that the Tix are left for me because I interviewed him. (Don't forget that no interview ever happened!)

• Before Basslights, he texts me and even asks me what songs he should play and I don't realize he's just stringing me along. Presumably it was just another plot to hook up. • Before we leave for VA, my friend who is driving admits that one of her OTHER friends secretly knows Bassnectar so we might be able to get into some party or backstage. Sooooo I guess she was another one of his "harem" that he was having a secret relationship with. (I don't mean anything negative towards that girl/woman, just that Bassnectar probably saw us this way and was playing *at least* the two of us at this time.) • My friends and I drive from NYC to VA and miss Bassnectar's set the first night because we arrived late, but the Tix were waiting for me at the box office. • If you get Bassnectar's guest list for Basslights 2013, my real name is on there. I'm sure a lot of other girls he manipulated are on there, too. • Bassnectar texts me and asks what I think of the show and I say I missed it. • He says he was thinking of me a lot during the show. • He texts me saying I should let him "vroom vroom in my girl power." Obviously he's alluding to sex, and I show the text to the friend who was at my place when I asked him for the Tix. He won't send a cab to get me at my hotel when I say sure, though, because he "has a girlfriend" again and he would feel bad. Maybe he was annoyed that I missed his set, maybe he picked someone else, maybe he actually was with his gf? Whatever. • I told him I didn't feel comfortable texting like that anymore because he said he had a gf. • He tells me I'm a good person.

• I am so hurt that I don't answer his texts at all anymore. • We go to Basslights night 2 and I get suuuuper fucked up with my friends (because fuck him) and have an awesome time and disassociate Bassnectar from his controlling bullshit. • I ignore him all the way back to NYC and just text to say I'm home. • He sends me an URGENT text saying that his gf suddenly found out about his gross infidelity and begs me to please delete all of our emails and texts. • I'm stupid and kind and fucking over him so I do it. He knew I would because he knew I was too nice of a person not to. • Bye bye evidence, though. :(  I regret deleting those emails even now because I knew this misconduct shit would come out eventually with him.

• LOTS OF TIME PASSES. Now and again, Bassnectar would text me just to say what's up and I'd barely respond. This only happened approximately once a year. • I'm pretty sure this was just to make sure he was on my good side and there wasn't a chance that I was going to expose him. • I think the last time he texted me first was all the way back in 2016.

• The last few times we spoke were when he had a cancer scare and I texted to say sorry. • When I went to Moonrise Festival, I asked if we could meet and he blew me off. It's been so long, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but it was worth a try. • When me and my friends went to Electric Zoo and he closed, I texted him saying that we couldn't hear well from where we stood and left early. I think he was offended because he replied saying that no one else complained. • The last time I spoke to him, I knew he was playing at an event near me and asked for tickets again so I could see him and he said he would be with his girlfriend. It was a one-off thing and I thought it was worth the try. •There were no cordial conversations in-between the times I contacted him at all. Just me being lonely and single and still hanging on to this idyllic version of him that never fucking existed in the first place. 

• I'm much older now and I know that a lot of this happened because of choices I made, but I was 22, starstruck, in a confusing relationship, partying, and desperate for an ethereal love that I sought in that music scene.

• I bet Bassnectar specifically targeted girls like me because (at least in my case) I was depressed, pumped full of mind-altering chemicals, pretty, and lonely. He acted like I was a unique, artistic, lost soul and he made me believe that he was the only one who could save me.

• At 22, you don't realize that a man 13+ years older than you shouldn't be asking you to keep your conversations a secret from everyone, asking you for nudes, asking you to lie to/break up with your boyfriend, inviting you to hotels, offering you gifts, and straight up giving you cash that you didn't ask for.

• But that man DEFINITELY knows he's doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing that hush money with you, or asking you to hide and delete everything.

• Because he would text me once in a while saying something like, "You cross my mind all the time," it would be enough for me to hang on to this hope that *maybe* there was still a chance. I couldn't see that it was just another manipulation tactic that worked well on me because I was still feeling the effect of the emotional annihilation from so long ago. :(

• I loathe how he made me feel for so long and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many other girls who were taken advantage of in worse ways by this egotistical LIAR in his position of power. Seriously, Bassnectar, fuck you.

ALSO: not sure if this was his burner phone or what, but here are the last two digits of the # he always contacted me with (sent in the DM). If any other victims want to corroborate by comparing numbers... Let me know.

(I REMOVED THE SCREENSHOT OF THE PHONE NUMBER IN CASE IT VIOLATES ANY DOX RULES, BUT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU DIRECTLY IF YOU ARE CONTACT WITH ME!) :)

---

[a19yearoldtryinherbest]

Secrets. Part 2 [Bill Hader]

Masterlist

15 Days of Hader

Day 6

Part 1

Prompt: After a one night stand with Bill OFC finds herself in her bathroom with a  pregnancy test

Pairing: Bill Hader x OFC

Warning: Hurt/confort.

A/N: Day six of 15 Days Of Hader! Requested part 2. I’m so sorry for the delay.

This was hard to put togheter

The gif has nothing to do with anything, he just looks really cute.

Word count: 2318

•  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •

The timer reached the set time. She turned it off but didn’t look at the result. She knew what it would say, it was obvious, she was six weeks late, what else could it be? Still, she stayed there looking ahead into the blank white wall of her bathroom. She remembered the night she had spent with Bill, it was spontaneous and a bit drunken but she couldn’t help to think about almost every day, one way or another.

She regretted leaving his place without even saying goodbye but in that moment she was so sure he was only interested in a one night stand, now she kept wondering if she was right. And now, if she was pregnant, she would have to tell him, right?

She felt nerves building up her stomach as she went to grab the pregnancy test. Her chest sunk the second she looked at the positive result. She fell back down to the toilet seat as tears blurred her vision. She didn’t want it like this. She went to bed, crying a little more, running some scenes of how everything could play out in her head. Even if the worst case scenarios seemed to be the ones closer to reality she just rejoiced in the happy ones. She kept imagining a picture perfect family with Bill.

She cried, not just because she was pregnant and alone but because, no matter what she would do, no matter what happened, she was sure she would get hurt. There was no escaping it. She tried to run away from her feelings, tried to get away from the excruciating pain, but she couldn’t escape any of it, the love, the pain, the fear. So she let herself cry to sleep that night just to wake up and go to work the morning after.

She let two weeks go by without telling anyone, avoiding the subject at all cost, at least until morning sickness started and she felt guilty every time she was reminded of it. She talked to her sister and, since she didn’t like the advice she gave her, talked to her closet friend in town.

She saw D'arcy enter the store and go towards her with a bright happy smile she seemed to carry at all times. Amelia stood up from her seat, letting D'arcy hug her quickly — So nice to see you! — D'arcy chimed before sitting down in front of her— It feels like ages since we last talked.

Amelia sat down and smiled — Yeah. I’ve been busy with the new job and all.

— I know! How is that going? — she asked. She seemed actually interested and that made Amelia feel better, she had felt guilty to just jump ships like that. And she hadn’t really said goodbye to anyone that night since she was busy making out with Bill.

— Good, yeah. — the waiter came and left the menus on the table to which both women replied a quick “thank you” — The director isn’t as talented and open as Bill but I get my share of good moments. — she commented with a happy smile.

— You can always come back. — teased the taller woman before opening the menu. Amelia smiled playfully and they continued discussing their options for lunch. D'arcy got a tuna salad and Amelia a BLT, which made the actress look at her funny.

— I thought you didn’t like tomato.

— I don’t. — she said in all seriousness, making D'arcy laugh — I mean, I didn’t. — she corrected. It was one of her cravings, still, she wasn’t sure if she liked tomatoes yet.

Amelia made her duty to keep the conversation as light as possible, trying to buy some time for herself, but mind conversation she felt nauseous and she excused herself to the bathroom where she ended up puking the little food she had eaten. D'arcy followed her to the stall and held her hair back when she realized what was going on. She passed Amelia a paper towel with a apologetic face.

— Was it the tomato? — she asked as she helped her friend to get up from the floor. Amelia washed away the sour taste with some water from the faucet and spit it out, she looked at her friend trough the reflection and slowly shook her head with puppy eyed, like a child who broke something and knows there’s no fixing it — Then what is it?

Amelia turned around slowly and looked at her dead in the eye — I’m pregnant.

There was a moment of silence, a moment too long for Amelia, where D'arcy’s face went through a few emotions. First it was excitement, then some sort of realization, followed by concern to then land in a cautious, uneasy and confused frown — Who’s the father?

— It’s Bill. — Amelia smiled awkwardly, seeing the shook on her friend’s face.

— Bill. — she said, double checking, completely astonished. Amelia nodded, panicking inside — Bill, my boss, Bill? — Amelia nodded again and started getting a little more nervous as the reality of the situation settled in with her — Bill- Hader?

— Yes, Bill! — she bursted out and started pacing across a small portion of the bathroom, almost walking in circles around herself.

— Ok, this is big… this is huge! — D'arcy said, watching her walk in a straight line from side to side — Are you guys dating?

Amelia didn’t stop pacing even though she was getting a little dizzy — No. It was a one night thing.

She wanted to ask why but she settled for — Have you told him yet?

She stopped in her tracks and looked at D'arcy with guilt and panic — No! And I’m freaking out! — she grabbed her hair in her hands in desperation — I can’t tell him, he’s gonna hate me. — she assured and D'acry saw no other choice but softly grab her arms and look at her straight in the eye, getting her to focus.

— You’re gonna tell him and he’s not going to hate you. — she assured, leaning down a little to be face to face — Call him.

— What? — she shook her head frantically — No, I can’t tell him over the phone, we haven’t talked in months. — she countered.

— Then set a date. — she said and Amelia looked at her blankly, unable to form an excuse. D'arcy sighted and let go of her arms — Look I know you. If you don’t tell him now, under pressure, you’ll tell him when the baby is about to pop out.

— Can’t I do that? — she tried to joke but only received a stern from her friend. She shrunk herself a little bit before being completely honest by saying — I don’t know D'arcy, it’s too much, too sudden. I feel like I’m ambushing him.

— Then let him know that you have to tell him something important before, but you have to tell him, Amelia.

She knew D'arcy was right so she grunted and then nodded in response. She couldn’t wait much longer and the more she waited the worst it would be. They went to Amelia’s apartment, wrote a little script for her to follow and called Bill. Amelia felt her heart race as the phone rang. One beat, she sat down on the couch. She knew it was a mistake, he would hate her, he wouldn’t want to see her again. Two beats, D'arcy touched knee leg to show support. Bill wouldn��t do that, he’s a good guy, she was sure of it; but the fear remained. Three beats, she quickly looked at her friend with regret. He would want to be part of his child’s life, or at least she thought that, but she wasn’t sure about her, how she would fit in Bill’s holidays picture. Four beats, he picked up and she found herself tonged tied.

— Hello? — he calls into the silent line and the informal script is pushed on her hands so she reads the first words out loud.

— Hi, Bill.

There was brief silence which made Amelia regret the call, but Bill spoke again — Amelia. — her name in his mouth made her shiver as her heart shrunk down, it sounded so sweet and real, that was her name, only when he called it. She remembered that the last time she had heard him say it was in the form of a coarse moan and found herself wishing to hear it like that again.

She swallowed thick and looked back to the paper but there was no response of her name so she tried to lead it back into the script — Yes. Hi. I know it’s been a long time but I need to talk to you. — her voice was shaking like it had never before, she didn’t stutter but it seemed like she was about to break down crying at any moment.

Bill noted it, worried he asked — Are you alright?

— Y-yeah. — said Amelia. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply — I need you to tell you something important. — her voice was still shaking but not as much as before so Bill took her completely serious.

— When do you want to meet? — Amelia looked at the table in front of her as she gathered all the courage she could get

— As soon as you can.

She heard him breathing through the phone. It wasn’t fast or shaky, it was steady and slow, like if he was consciously controlling it — Are you free right now?

— Y-yeah. At my place?

Bill stayed silent, probably thinking about that night where she insisted they shouldn’t go back to her apartment, unbeknownst to him she had done it  just so she could get out while he was sleeping the night after — Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty minutes. — he let her know and her breath hitched as she nodded even if he couldn’t see her — Bye.

She hung up the phone and looked at D'arcy like if her doom was right around the corner — He’s coming in twenty minutes.

— Great, so I’ll go.

— What? — she was surprised. Even if it made no sense she wanted D'arcy with her during the talk.

— Honey, this is something private you two have to work out together. — she softly pressed her leg with the hand she had put there right before the call and then she moved to grab her purse — I’m gonna see myself out. You just prepare, It’ll be alright. And if you want me to come after just tell me, alright? — she nodded and just like that she was alone.

She felt nerves building up as the clock ticked, she was frozen, her mind couldn’t move past the fear until she placed her hand on her belly and all she could think about was about that future baby. Maybe it would be a girl and they name her Hope to keep the H’s going, and maybe he would have his father’s big, light teal eyes, and her own dark, thick hair and she would laugh as easily as her father, lighting up any room with her smile. She caught herself smiling at the thought of a baby in her arms looking up to her and Bill as he held them both but the knock on her door brought her back to reality, where nothing was sure and anything could go south.

She stoop up and opened the door. Bill was standing on the other side and she let him in. He was nervous, that was for sure, his leg kept bouncing up and down while he sat down on the chair she offered — Do you want something to drink?

— Yeah. — he sounded dispersed, bewildered, almost like he wasn’t really there.

— Tea? — she asked, hoping he would look at her with his bright eyes again but he didn’t.

— Sure.

She went to the kitchen and looked at him through the half wall as she waited for the kettle to boil. His eyes darted trough the air, he was deep in thought and she only wished to know what he was thinking and soon she knew. She settled both cups on the table and Bill looked at her straight in the eyes, he had snapped back to reality in just one pull and his head was full just one burning on his tong — What did you had to tell me? — he didn’t mean to sound so harsh so he tried to compensate — You seemed… afflicted.

— Yeah. — she started fidgeting with her fingers looking at them for moment before looking back at Bill — It’s… not bad necessarily, just- it’s big, I understand if you need time or something — she took a deep breath, and looked at him again — I’m pregnant. — she said, and without thinking it twice added — I wanna keep it.

She saw every muscle Bill moved in his face during those three silent minutes, it was mostly his eyes, but she couldn’t decipher any expression, so she just had to watch him think through everything without knowing what he was thinking. After those unbearable three minutes and twelve seconds she heard his voice — Ok. — he said.

— Ok? — she asked, hesitant and cautious.

— Ok. — He smiled softly as he nodded, making her heart melt — We can figure this out, together. — she smiled, hopeful, relived and grateful. He didn’t hate her, he wanted her to be in his life and their child’s. Maybe some of what she thought of was going to happen, maybe she had some sort of place in the picture, even if it wasn’t perfect right then — It’ll be alright.

[anxiousboi-char]

“Broken into Pieces”, Chapter 1 - When everything crumbles

Look at me, attempting to write again! This fic is going to have 7 chapters and is far more angsty than other things I’ve wrote so far, so be beware! Also, this will include some ego shipping, but that’s going to come into play later down the line (probably chapter 6 or something)

“At first, everyone strictly hated Anti. However, as time went by, the "evil demon" started to grow on them, and soon enough, he became a part of their weird, little family. Of course, some liked him more and some liked him less, but in the end, they did care about him.

That's why when one day everything went wrong and they lost him, it hit them hard.“

Character(s): Anti, Jackieboy-man

Words: 1.2k

Warning(s): fire, major character death

When the egos first met Anti, things didn't go smooth. They went very wrong, actually, and it all ended with a big fight between them and him. But only as time went on and big battles continued to happen every once in a while, they started to realize that the demon wasn't truly trying to harm them. Just knowing this wasn't enough to fix everything, but when Marvin decided to try and talk with him instead of fighting, their theory was confirmed. Anti wasn't the bad guy, they just misunderstood each other at first.

And so, the magician was the first one to bring Anti to the house he shared with the other egos. It caused some chaos at first, but one after the other, everyone slowly realized that he was right - Anti wasn't a threat. Some trusted him more than the others, but after less than a month, it was safe to say that the demon was a part of their family already. He helped Jackie to fight crime, he taught Marvin more powerful magic, he helped Jameson with puppet shows, he tried some trick shots with Chase, he helped Henrik to relax after work by preparing coffee... And for everyone, he always offered a shoulder to cry on and some not-always-great-but-still advice. So, really, it was perfect. Even if he sometimes said some immoral things or got close to revolving to violence, they worked through their differences and accepted him as one of their own.

Little did the others know, things were just about to change.

Jackie was struggling to catch his breath, he felt exhaustion in every single muscle of his body, but he didn't even think about stopping to take a break. A huge building was on fire and many people were still stuck inside, he had to save them! And so he kept going in and out, getting the people working there outside while doing his best to cover his face. He was still waiting for the firefighters to get there, but luckily, he wasn't alone. Anti was there to help, carrying outside as many people as he could to help. Unlike the hero, he didn't even bother covering his face from the smoke. He was a demon, after all, he didn't have such stupid weaknesses. He was getting tired as well, but again, it didn't affect him as much.

"How many people are still inside?" Jackie asked one of the people he first brought outside.

"Just a few more, maybe 10?" the woman said, looking around and counting her coworkers again.

"You heard that, Anti?" the hero called out just moments after the demon left the building, helping two people outside. He nodded tiredly.

"Ye̛p̢. 10.͢ G͞o͏t it͞," he confirmed, turning back to go into the building again.

"I'm right behind you," Jackie informed, running inside as well. Just a couple more people.

Five minutes passed and it appeared that everyone was outside already. This was good, a far better outcome than usual. Well, almost everyone, one more person was missing and so was Anti. It was entirely possible that the worker simply left already, or that he wasn't inside in the first place, but the disappearance of his ally worried Jackie far more. He was currently resting and finally catching his breath, but with each second he felt more urge to go back inside and look for Anti. He could already hear the sirens in the distance, which meant that the firefighters soon would arrive, but he couldn't help feeling worried. Just as he made up his mind and got up to try getting back inside he saw someone running out. The last missing employee, a rather young man.

"Are you okay?!" the hero asked, immediately running up to him. The man nodded shakily, coughing heavily.

"He- he's there-!" he wheezed, pointing to the building. Jackie's gut-feeling told him that something was very wrong.

"Who?" he asked, even though he was sure he knew the answer.

"A-a man- He- He was getting me out, but he- he fell and- told me to run, so- so I-" the boy said, but before he was done explaining Jackie already took off running and swearing under his breath. So much for the demon's 'smoke resistance'.

"Anti! Anti?! Where are you?!" he called out, looking around. And for some time, he got no answer. Only then came a weak grunt from one of the rooms. "Anti!"

Jackie ran into the room and, to his horror, discovered Anti lying on the floor, coughing quietly. He quickly rushed to his side and tried to pick him up only to realize that the demon weighed more than an average person and he was just so exhausted... Still, he tried a couple of times, tried until he felt dizzy. Then, he just tugged on Anti's shirt and tried to drag him outside to no avail.

"J- J̡acki̶e̷?" Anti asked, seemingly regaining consciousness.

"You're up?! Good, now come on! We need to get outside! Everyone else is safe!" the hero informed, trying to force the demon up.

"T̕-҉͢t҉h͏e̡͠r͠e'̷͞s͝͞͝ ̨̡no-̵" he tried to argue, his voice getting more distorted as he spoke. Suddenly, he froze. ".̧̡.̕͝.͠R̷̶̡͘ų̷͜n͏̴̸̧.҉̵͢͠" he said. It was hard for Jackie to even make out what he was saying.

"Not without you!" the hero refused once he realized that Anti just asked him to run. Swearing loudly, the demon tried to get to his feet.

"F̶in̵e͏.͏ ̷̡I̷͝'͢͜m̨͜ ̛ri͏͝g̛h̷̛͜t͠ ͏̷b҉̵e͡hi͢͞n̴d͘͢ ͏͘y͠o̴̧͜u͝,̷̶" he muttered, getting up and starting to stumble forward. Jackie ran first, but kept looking over his shoulder to make sure that Anti was still there. "J̸u̢s̵t ̸̢g҉o̵̧.̶͜ ̷̡Y̷̸̢ou̵͝'re̸ ̴sl̸̢̕o͠w̴i̛n͞g u͞s̕͝ ḑ̧o̵̷w̸̛n̕.̸͜͠" he complained.

"Fine!" Jackie sighed, reassured that Anti felt better. He wouldn't say that on death bed after all, would he?

Already stumbling, Jackie ran outside and took a deep breath of fresh air before stopping, coughing, and wheezing. A couple of citizens walked over, concerned, and tried to ask him if he was okay, all while the firefighters finally arrived. As they got to work and tried to extinguish the fire, Jackie finally caught his breath and the wheezing soon turned into a quiet laugher. Everyone was fine, after all, so why not laugh?

"I'm- we're both good-" he said proudly. When the people only looked more concerned, he looked at Anti for confirmation. All color drained from his face when he realized that his friend... wasn't there. "I- He was right behind me!" he gasped.

Without hesitation, he tried to run back inside, promising himself that this time he'll make sure that Anti gets out even before him. Yet just as he was getting closer to the entrance, he heard something snapping inside, and before he could enter, the building crumbled before his eyes. He froze in his tracks and stared for a moment. Then, he called out to the firefighters, telling them that someone was still inside, and then he fell to his knees in defeat. Still staring.

"He was right behind me... he was..." he kept muttering to himself, ignoring the civilians surrounding him and trying to calm him down. "Right behind me..."

It slowly occurred to him that this was... over. This short moment was the end. There was no way to turn back time, Anti was gone. Just like that, wiped from the earth... This was the end of the demon's story.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 38 Review: Of Zombies and Men

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Damn, Jacques is hot in that scene! There. I just had to say that before starting this review.

Hello and welcome again to my Garden of Evil, which I have once again been neglecting. Long story short: the past month has been both terrifying (for what should be obvious reasons) and very, very busy, and I’ve been spending more of my free time offline than usual focusing on things like starting vegetables for my real-life garden. I don’t foresee things getting better for at least another month, so most likely either I won’t be very active or my muse will be more active than ever. If the latter, it may mean more reviews or it may mean more silliness like the Desmond Hall personality quiz from earlier this week. We shall see.

But, for right now, shall we jump into our exploration of Episode 38?

Wait! Quito didn’t leave the chandelier hanging on the table before!

The table (post-séance) from Episode 36, for comparison.

Another night has passed on Maljardin (as indicated by Jean Paul Desmond's change in clothing) and now someone has hung the chandelier on the side of the broken séance table where it wasn't in either of the previous two episodes. "Keeping this here as a souvenir, Jean Paul?" the Reverend Matthew Dawson, who is still wearing the same outfit as two episodes ago, asks.

"No, Reverend," Jean Paul corrects him, but forgets to tell him who put the chandelier back on the table and why. Instead, he tells him that there will be another séance.

Matt accuses him of playing with their lives and he responds with what sounds like a veiled threat: "Come now, Reverend, this is no game. Surely, superstitions and fears are not going to blacken your learned convictions. All of our days are numbered." Yes, Jean Paul's in pissy passive-aggressive mode and he will remain there for most of the next three weeks. This is one of the reasons why I prefer Jacques Eloi des Mondes. He may be THE DEVIL and he certainly has his own nasty, passive-aggressive side, but he doesn't go around glowering like his descendant and he takes himself less seriously. His death threats are also way funnier than Jean Paul’s. On top of that, he has that stunning cape that he once wore to the main island, which I miss horribly. I can’t see Jean Paul moping around on Maljardin while wearing that gorgeous number, which is a pity because it looked so good on him.

Just noticed while re-watching the episode that Matt has a pompadour now. I'm going to go ahead and guess the reason based on evidence from Episode 7: he's trying to level with the groovy swingers and keep up with what's happenin', but he's too square to realize the hairstyle he's adopted in his efforts to be happenin' is ten years out of date. (I’m sure I used at least two of these outdated slang terms incorrectly. Forgive me.)

Jean Paul lying to cover up Jacques’ attempted murder. Also, a pretty shot of Fox-C’s eyes!

To no viewers’ surprise, Jean Paul is planning on holding another séance, and another, and another, until he finally establishes contact with his late wife Erica. This angers Matt, who has been a loose cannon since Episode 35 and is due to fire again soon. “You forget the medium said death points only to me!” the lovesick, grieving billionaire shouts and storms away before Matt gets another chance to air his grievances against him.

We next see him in the crypt, telling Quito to have the table and the chandelier repaired ASAP. And then he gets a moment alone with Erica’s cryonics capsule and he says this interesting, cryptic aside:

Is he only saying that because of Jacques’ frequent possessions, or does he have another reason to mistrust himself? Lines like this one make me think that maybe Dan’s suspicions are correct and he did murder Erica.

Matt grows bored waiting for Jean Paul to return, so he visits Alison in the lab. Wearing a stylish blue labcoat, she is reading through Dr. Menkin’s notes on her sister Erica and confides in Matt about her despair that she has found so few of them.

Alison and Matt in the lab.

Their conversation in this scene is quite interesting. First, she reveals that Dr. Menkin has been researching cellular reconstruction and that, using his notes (especially the missing parts), it might actually be possible to bring Erica back to life. This means that there’s a chance that it was reasonable from an in-universe scientific standpoint--if still somewhat ethically questionable--for Jean Paul to freeze Erica.

Second, she denies Matt’s accusation that Jean Paul is treating them like chattel, replying, "What you forget is his love for Erica, his need for her is what drives him, not purposeful harm to others." Has she developed Stockholm Syndrome towards Jacques/Jean Paul during her time on the island? This line makes me wonder.

Their conversation drifts to Vangie’s accident, which reminds Alison to check on her! They find Vangie in the Great Hall, walking down the stairs in her Conjure Woman robes, her arms stretched out before her in standard zombie fashion. Because she isn’t watching where she’s going and is just staring blankly, Alison guides her down the stairs and onto the couch to prevent any further injuries. At the end of the scene, Quito comes to check on her and lets out a silent scream before covering his face: most likely as a subtle cue to new audience members that the silent servant in the earlier scene in the crypt is, like Vangie, a zombie.

Alison guiding Vangie to the couch.

But can we really compare Vangie’s state to Quito’s? In book canon, Quito was one of Jacques’ slaves, whom he killed and then had resurrected to punish Raxl for disobedience. The show canon never states how Quito became a zombie, but we do know that he is undead based on his lack of a pulse in Episode 33 and Jean Paul’s reference to “a soulless corpse” in Episode 16. Vangie, in contrast, is still alive, but behaves like a zombie (allegedly) because of a brain injury caused by the crashing chandelier. Oddly enough, her body language and behavior are more in line with a stereotypical Hollywood zombie than Quito, which makes me wonder how the hell she was able to put her Conjure Woman robes back on while in a cataleptic trance. (I bet it’s just another continuity error, like the chandelier hanging off the side of the table.)

There’s a brief scene here where Matt opens one of the cabinet drawers in the lab and pulls out one of Alison’s scalpels. I don’t understand why she doesn’t keep that drawer locked on such a dangerous island.

In his and Raxl’s bedroom, Quito mixes Vangie a potion using herbs from the island to attempt to bring her out of her catatonic state. He tastes the potion and nods as though to say, "Yes, it tastes right.” Even so, it doesn't appear to have any effect on him after he tastes it, which is strange. I don’t know how to interpret this scene. It could mean anything from “the antidote only works on living people” to “the antidote only works on people who were turned into zombies the way Vangie was (and Quito was not)” to “Quito drank this same potion years ago, and that’s why he can move around, think, and feel and isn’t stuck in a catatonic state like Vangie.”

The ambiguity makes this yet another unexplained plot point in a show overflowing with them, thanks to the change in writers and producer. I want to give Robert Costello and the team of writers who wrapped up Maljardin the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps they ignored this plot hole because Ian Martin’s notes were partially missing like Dr. Menkin’s, but most of the evidence suggests that they consciously chose to go in a different direction than the one that Martin originally intended. We know that, from Episode 30 onward, executive meddling forced him to change and rearrange events in his episodes. There is that one line from Episode 54 that reminds me of what I believe were his original intended revelations about Erica, but I suspect that I’m over-analyzing a line for which Cornelius Crane probably intended a different, less unusual interpretation than mine.

Anyway, while Quito is downstairs, Jean Paul and Jacques have this amusing exchange:

Jean Paul: "You were the disrupting influence at that séance." Jacques: "I? Do I resemble a part of the chandelier that came crashing down?"

I think you can guess where this leads. Jacques possesses him, and this time the resulting scene is the most deliciously evil one we’ve seen yet of his character:

Just after possession, zombie Vangie identifies Jacques as Lucifer, and he confirms this. Since the first episode, we have heard Raxl say repeatedly that Jacques Eloi des Mondes was THE DEVIL, but at last we have confirmation that Ian Martin’s Jacques is, even after the beginning of executive meddling.

“Devil he is. Devil he will remain till I can exorcise and destroy him,” she adds, still in a trance and still with her eyes fixed forward.

“But aren’t you finding him too powerful for all of us?” Jacques replies.

“In the end, it is we who will be too strong for him.”

“But you are already losing all the battles.” Jacques smirks and leans closer to Vangie, as my heart--and the hearts of half the original audience--skips a beat. “Look at you now, Vangie. Look at you now, able to talk only with me because, like Quito, you are living in his...half-world.” (Does this mean that Quito can speak to him, too, when they are alone and Jacques allows it?) “Who put you there?”

“Fear not. He cannot kill me. My death is ordained.”

“He hasn’t killed you,” Jacques grins. “Who knows? Maybe in your present state, you will be able to reach Erica.”

“I didn’t want to reach her for myself, but for you, Jean Paul.” (Why does she identify him as Jean Paul now, when she called him Lucifer a minute ago? Jacques hasn’t de-possessed Jean Paul yet.)

Quietly, Alison and Matt enter undetected, as she continues. “The demon Jacques Eloi des Mondes, his evil was at the table. It was his alien presence that destroyed the séance.”

She lies back down on the couch, Jacques yells her name and grabs her, and Alison breaks her silence. “Jean Paul!” she shouts, rushing over to Vangie. “Leave her be!” Jacques demands that she bring her out of the trance, but Alison says that she doesn’t know how. He shoots down her suggestion that she take her to the mainland for treatment.

“It’s mystifying to hear her talk as though you were that man, an ancestor three hundred years dead,” Matt comments, pointing to Jacques’ portrait.

“The islanders are very superstitious with strange fancies,” Jacques gaslights him. “You’re not joining that group, are you, Reverend?”

“I may join them, too,” says Alison.

“Perhaps you all need therapy, or some other kind of treatment,” Jacques says as the camera zooms into his face. He starts off with a fairly neutral Jean Paul expression--he’s been getting better at imitating his descendant--but then widens his eyes in that way only Jacques does. It's not quite Bissits Face™, but it is a very Jacques expression nonetheless.

After the commercial break, Matt asks for some clarification as to what he meant by treatment. “Relief of tension, as at a séance,” he responds with a smile.

Another argument about séances is about to erupt when Quito walks up holding a cup of his herbal remedy. Jacques identifies this as “a pinch of hope, a dash of witchcraft, a hint of prayer, as harmless as Quito himself is.” Surprisingly, despite knowing that this will take Vangie out of her trance, he lets Alison serve it to her.

When Vangie recovers, she, too, insists--also surprisingly--that they have another séance. “It’s Jean Paul Desmond himself who risks all,” she tells Matt when he accuses her of endangering the guests’ lives. Alison has Matt take her upstairs to rest while she heads to the lab to grab a tranquilizer.

Meanwhile, in the lab...

A secret door behind the cabinet opens and Jacques comes out, carrying more of Dr. Menkin’s notes. When he hears Alison’s footsteps, he shuts the door (but not all the way--oops!) and leaves them on the table. After a brief conversation about Vangie, he leaves through the lab’s main entrance and Alison flips excitedly through the newly discovered notes.

My favorite shot of Alison from this scene.

The Lost Episode summary for this episode from The Newport Daily News mentions the secret door--indicating that it appeared in the original script for the episode--but also that Vangie knows about it and that Jacques will leave her alone during the second séance if she keeps it secret. Another version of the summary from the Minneapolis Star (November 5, 1969) says that the hidden door leads to “a secret passageway,” begging the question of where Jacques has hidden the notes. It must be somewhere between the Great Hall and the lab, but where?

You know, I’m surprised that, for all Raxl and Quito’s searching for the conjure doll and the silver pin and Alison, Dan, and Matt’s searching for the missing cyanide, they haven’t found more of the château’s secret rooms and passages. It’s just as inexplicable as how Jacques still doesn’t know the location of the Temple of the Serpent after three hundred years, hours of spying on people in the crypt, and that failed investigation of it with Holly last episode--and the Temple’s entrance isn’t even well-hidden! On a show set on an absurdly cold tropical island with anachronistic period costumes, 20-year-olds who look 30 but get turned away from the bar without being carded, white Incas, a white voodoo priest and priestesses, and a man with an IQ of 187 knowingly placing a glass table beneath a loose chandelier--and that’s only listing what we’ve seen so far--this stretches my willing suspension of disbelief more than anything else.

Right at the end of the episode, we learn from Jacques that Jean Paul’s will to resist him has become stronger, making possession of him more difficult:

Does Jean Paul’s stronger will explain all the headache faces?

Coming up next: A piece of the Conjure Man’s message reminds Raxl of Jacques’ pirate ship, which gives us the perfect opportunity to explore Jacques’ former career.

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