#the larping honestly kinda bored me but I started to like it over time

[gothamstreetcat]

and oh my god can we scream about the new life is strange tho what did you think???

Yes yes yes, we can scream! But ONLY if you tell me your choices + what YOU thought of the game.

I'm gonna put my thoughts below the cut is what I would say if I wasn't on mobile (I don't understand why that's an option only for desktop but you do you, Tumblr)

First off, I really enjoyed the game. I did, I loved it and I thought it was as gorgeous as usual with an A+ soundtrack. I also think Alex had the best wardrobe out of anyone and I would make gifs of every one of her outfits if I didn't think it was going to be a fuckTON of work. I think the idea of empathy as a power is really neat (but IRL it’s my literal weakness 😅). However, all that being said, I feel the game has some flaws.

Like you said, I do wish the game was longer. Maybe I'm wrong because I didn't check the times for each ep. but it did seem to go by quickly. And while I appreciate being able to play the game all at once, I think it makes it more special when we have to wait for each episode + those little teaser trailers they always have. It also feel like the story was maybe a wee rushed + some things could have been fleshed out a little more -- like, Steph’s past relationship and it would have been neat if they gave a little callback to Before the Storm (since I believe that’s were Steph is from.)

Another thing is that while I understand Alex’s power I feel like they showcased the more intensity of it through the emotion: anger but not any of the others. And really, it was only the scene with Mac that affected Alex, so I think not using that idea for the other emotions was a bit of a missed opportunity. That being said, I did not take away Charlotte’s anger because I didn’t feel it was right. However, I didn’t do the same for the Police officer but I think I should have.

Moving on, while I really enjoy how full-circle the game came into it was a little confusing. Like, if Alex & Gabe’s father worked/lived in Haven Springs, wouldn’t everyone have known about it?? Therefore, would they not have known if everyone got out alive during Jed’s time working in the mine??? But anyway!!! Yeah, that was crazy and I was so bummed when not everyone sided with me at the meeting (I really don’t understand why Elenor didn’t when I had to tell Riley about her since it was the right thing to do. Everyone is the town could have helped her out and Riley could have still gone to college it wasn’t that serious 🙄) and I was so pissed Ryan didn't side with me. I get that it's his dad but the entire thing was so messed up it's crazy (makes me feel good I romance Steph. I usually don't romance people but I wanted to romance her so I did). Also, I super love Elenor-- I totally wanted her to do some body shots with Jed or Duckie! 😂

Now, don't get me wrong, there were some scenes that really got me. Obviously Gabe’s death (don't know why I didn't see that coming but wow) and also Jed shooting Alex. She was like: why are you sad Jed? And I was like: Girl! Did you not just hear him cock that gun?!?!? My jaw dropped at that. And I liked the foster home angle and everything. I think the game developers always do a good job telling stories like that.

I also really likedeverything about Haven Springs. The town, the people, the atmosphere. The closeness of everything. However, I wasn't sure if with Gabe being gone and the plot being solved if it was good for me to stay so I did leave (looking at it like a chapter is a book that's okay to close but you can always re-visit and are-read) (however, I do wish I'd stayed). I also, forgave Jed (which I imagine is SUPER unpopular) and please don't get me wrong, I think killing the entire Chen family, lying and getting away with it is fucked up, however, this is a game of empathy so forgiving him seemed like the thing to do.

[izzacsdreamsofrunningaway]

Coming Out

I have always had a lot of confliction centering wanting to talk publicly about being queer. There’s a lot of personal reasons for that some of which I don’t feel like I want to share right now honestly but, growing up I always found solace and permission I needed to be who I am from other people who were willing to tell their story. And it didn’t have to be nicely done or wrapped up neatly. Sometimes the stories that stayed with me the most were messy and ranty and emotional and dark and uncut. I’ve had a lot of blogs over the years. Video blogs and written blogs, websites and tumblrs. You could probably still find some of them. While I’ve never particularity thought I was the smoothest blogger a few of you have liked them. If you remember any of those, ya know thanks for listening to my messy twelve, fourteen, fifteen, seventeen year old feelings. I’m twenty one now and next month is my birthday and around that time I always feel like- Like I’m trying to figure out how I want to start writing the next chapter of a book. And I think every year I say…fuck it to something new. So this year I’m saying fuck it to content creation and I’m gonna try and really throw myself out of my comfort zone and into where I want to be. I have a lot of ideas and often times I find myself too scared or too down on myself to actually execute them. I want that to change. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell people I’m trans since I was sixteen years old. Really since before then because honestly I didn’t even know how to tell myself till then. Like a lot of people in the LGBT+ community, it took a long time for me to have the language to put to all of the things that I was feeling. I got it wrong a lot but that’s not really the story I’m trying to tell right now. Maybe someday I’ll say fuck it to that too. Maybe it’ll just live in my books. I’ve found that I don’t think there’s an easier way than just saying it. I’m trans. It gets easier to say, I know some of you reading this might think that’s bullshit because while I really hoped so. Just last year I thought it was bullshit. That’s okay though. It’s the truth. I don’t think I’ve ever like- formally come out online. Which is so crazy to me because I thought about how I’d do that a lot as a kid growing up seeing so many coming out videos that I’d comfort myself with at night. I know for a fact there are a lot of people who follow or know me that don’t know despite some of the things I’ve posted. So I guess this is that post. I kinda thought it’d be easier to know what I wanted to say here but I kinda feel like I’m just word vomiting and trying my best to keep from boring you to death. Editing is gonna be a bitch later. I think a lot of people would say that I started my transition one year ago on March 17th when I took my first testosterone shot. But really, I started it in December when I was fifteen at a sleepover and after agonizing over it all day finally gave my friend a note that was far too long but basically said I was too afraid to say it out loud, I’m trans and I understood if she didn’t want me in her house because I was a boy. And while I think part of it was some attempt to ask her to treat me the same way she would any other guy friend, for the most part, I just expected rejection. When I sat on my bed a few days later on the phone with the friend I’d called that I had no idea why I’d called not saying a word. Until I finally told her that after all those observations they’d made about how they had never seen me happier than when we did a larp (that’s live action roleplay for you noobs) where the whole day I got to be a boy named Micheal, the questions about why I hated anything girly so vehemently and had no problems with the girls in my school groups saying I looked like a boy and teasing me for being so guyish, and after months of playing with gender expression in secret and making accounts no one knew about where I’d let everyone assume I was a boy. I was sure that I’m not a girl but I wasn’t entirely sure I was a normal boy either. I’ve come out to a lot of people sporadically over the years. Some dismissed it and forgot, I guess thinking it would pass (hah, bet ya’ll are pretty surprised). But thankfully a lot of the first few I told quickly became rocks in a storm for me. When I was a little kid I was obsessed with Hannah Montana and I truly believed that living two lives was the easiest way to be able to be yourself but still survive in the world. I got to do that, for six years, and it sucked. I had people who knew, and around most of them I could breathe for a breif moment when we were alone. But we had to keep everything quiet, I had secret wardrobe hidden behind my closet and at friends houses. Bought myself my first binders the moment I got my first paycheck at seventeen and had to wash them in the shower and wear a jacket before I left the house so no one could tell the huge difference it made. I volunteered at the local GSA (Major shoutout to Jasmyn JAX y’all are the literal best) so I could have a safe space to breathe without having to worry so much about if people found out. Stayed with the one friend who’s mum I told as a practice run for telling my own parents and who immediately took me in as another son. I had pockets where I could exist, but I didn’t feel like I really did. I think one thing baby me was not paying attention to with Hanna, was just how exhausting it is to live a double life. It took a lot out of me, but I was too afraid of what would happen if I stopped keeping the secret. The career I wanted was public, not everyone in my life was understanding or kind about trans people, and the world certainly was not. So I stayed quiet and I got more depressed and life got harder. It’s thanks to the support from some really amazing people in my life that in a new December in 2020, I finally started the process of bringing my two worlds together. Really? It felt like destroying them both. I could sugar coat things, and I could lie like a lot, and I thought about it because I really don’t want this to be something that discourages people from doing what I did. But…some of the messier stories helped me do this the most. People telling me it would all be okay isn’t what made me start to come out of my proverbial closet. It was people who told me that I was strong enough to get through it, and that I wouldn’t have to be strong alone. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of tears and yelling and growing pains. I felt like I couldn’t be myself and I’d taken a hundred steps back. So I went to therapy. And I talked to my friends SO MUCH like if you got eight brick walls of text from me in the middle of the fucking night and answered you are literally my favourite fucking person. My favourite thing my therapist told me was when I told her I was afraid to leave my house in a dress after just coming out and insisting that no one use she/her pronouns for me, that I was scared I’d be judged or not taken seriously. She said “That’s their problem. Why should you be worried about it?” and I have internalized that fully. It was difficult to tell my mother I was changing my name. It never felt like mine, but it was something she gave me. And after twenty years I knew it would be hard to give back. But this was a year of learning to do things for myself, because I need too. I spent the past six years transitioning slowly, like a dripping faucet in winter, and suddenly I was turning up the water. I started a book around the same time to deal with all those messy trans feelings and in the book one of the biggest transitions is really that one character teaches my main character how to be selfish. I could never finish it, and I realize it’s because they were teaching me too and I hadn’t finished learning yet. My name feels like the most important part of that journey because it changed so many times and the first iterations took me a long time to realize weren’t as much for me as to comfort people around me. I’d gone by one name for maybe five years before what you all know me as. Funny enough, Nico was a nickname that I clung to because it felt like me and I wished it was my name. Then I realized, that’s up to me. It took for fucking ever but my full name means, Victor of the people, creator of his own joy. And that makes me feel strong. It reminds me that I am. So if you’re trying to pick a name and thinking “Man I wish that could be me” just fucking go for it mate. It can. It probably already is and you just don’t even know it yet. We always know ourselves better than we think we do. All those things we wish we were, that we identify with and don't really know why. It’s because they’re in us. We are everything we want to be and everything we think we could never be but fuckin wish for every day. We already have it in us. We know that we just can’t always see it. Believe yourself. A few months into the process of changing my name, I called up Planned Parenthood to discuss hormone replacement therapy. And let me tell you they are so fucking important to the community. I’ve always believed that they need to be protected. I’ve never felt more comfortable and taken care of at a medical facility than there. I was so nervous about starting and literally felt like I was gonna have like a breakdown in the waiting room but they played music and the pictures on the walls smiled and I read a book (pretended to read a book) and tried not to like- cry. Which I had been doing earlier. I was like an hour late for my appointment it was a DISASTER getting there I had missed my bus I didn’t ask my friend to take me cause I figured I’d take an uber or lyft NEITHER APP wanted to give me a ride because during this pandemic we’ve had a huge driver shortage so I was in tears thinking I’d miss my appointment and a bunch of stuff was going on that day and I was at my end.  I finally got a fucking cab which cost me so much fucking money oh my gods and I was panicking lowkey in the back seat because I was having one of my “I’m an idiot I’m making a terrible mistake the doctor is gonna look at me and be like I know you aren’t trans AHHH” freak outs that you don’t know about but in my tiny circle of trustees I am fucking famous for. So if you’re having one of those let me tell you something I needed to hear often, you live in a society that your mere existence is going against like 80% of what you’ve been taught about how life works. It is OKAY if you’re scared and it is normal to have a little impostor syndrome or go back and forth. Take some time. Think it through. Trust yourself. And HRT is something that a lot of people but not all trans people want. It is a big medical commitment that is a little hard to find definitive info on and we all kinda teach eachother a lot about and you can’t be 1000% sure how will effect you so if you’re nervous even if you’re sure you really want it? Give yourself some grace. If you WEREN’T nervous it would be wild like okay balls of steel. It’s totally normal to be scared  of new things. While I’ve had a few doctors I’ll always remember my first who was snarky and fun and treated me like a friend. You rock Dr D. She wrote up my gender marker letter and gave me my prescription with no issues just informed consent. We talked about what changes I wanted to see, how I felt, how long I’d felt that way. Did some basic doc check up stuff. And started me on a really low dose once a week that we’ve since slowly uped in order to find my right dose. Now. I found my perfect dosing at exactly a year into HRT. So it takes time, my Doctor literally said some people it takes longer, so if it takes awhile for your levels to mellow out to a place you and the Doc like, that is also normal. I like to tell you things are normal cause I like to text my friend who’s been medically transitioning longer than I have in the middle of the night “Is this normal or am I dying???????” Maybe three months into HRT on the suggestion of my endo (the hormone doctor) I got a vocal coach. I love her, her name is Anne and she’s helped me a lot with my voice transition being so smooth that I literally barely noticed how much it changed till I did my comparison. My voice was probably the biggest point of dysphoria beside my name especially since much less people ever called me by my birth name in Highschool and partly why it was so hard to keep up with videos. I hated hearing it. Now, I have a lot more voice control so I’m actually like proud of it. My coach helps me with singing aswell which very much makes me happy since out of all that I create, music has kind of always been…it for me in a way I can’t really describe, so being more confident in my singing voice feels like it translates into everything I do. I’m just more confident in general. This is the school if you guys wanna check it out it is online so you can sign up from anywhere. https://www.yourlessonsnow.com/trans-voice-training/ I came out at my first job when I was nineteen, before any of this, and while I didn’t experience any real blatant homophobia, I still never felt like a guy. A big part of that was working at a salon no one thought it would be a good idea to be clear about that because they knew I’d lose clients since not all women were comfortable with a man working on them and no one could really understand where while I wanted money sure, I respected that more and both wanted my clients to make that decision themselves and wasn’t interested in compromising myself and who I am because it would make me more money. So I quit. (Fuck capitalism anyway) That’s not at all the only reason but it certainly helped. The next job was complicated, as it tends to be. I was starting hormones and legal name changes at that job, it was the first time I came out during the onboarding. And while I had some issues due more to ignorance about how to deal with certain things and a couple smaller things, I had few issues honestly. A lot of my coworkers were so super kind to the point of correcting guests for me (retail job) and no one walked on eggshells around the subject. The only thing is, when I found that in a workplace, it made me stay longer than I wanted because I didn’t think I ever would again. I tried to leave the job one time and even did a training interview at another store (paid don’t worry folks it was a fight but I got that check for every moment. Never work for free.) where I ended up quiting after the on-boarding because I was told to my face by the manager “You look like a chick so don’t expect me to be mad if people call you one.” Among a whole slew of other insanely inappropriate things to say to another human being. So I left. Ghosted a little, called and asked for a check. While I was livid, I was also scared. Was that all I could expect in the working world? Did I have the best I was gonna get working at a crappy retail job for minimum wage that I barely wanted to wake up for anymore? It was another couple months before I left. Worked the Holiday season at a higher paying retail job that was also pretty crappy and honestly probably violating a lot of OSHA guidelines frighteningly enough. Then got a job where I work now. And let me tell you. You don’t have to deal with “a few issues” there’s always better. Because this is much better. I was terrified to branch out, and I will not lie to you it took a long ass time to get this job my Indeed box looked like a warning sign just red X’s of rejection everyyyyywhere. Some of the companies that did wanna hire me when I looked into how they treated LGBT employees??? Hahahaha no. Please Google these mofos before you take a job. And now this post isn’t about where I work but I think it feels relevant so I will say a bit about that. I work as a Community Engagement Associate for an App called Quirkchat where I get to make content (kinda like this) talking about nerdy geeky shit and figure out fun and interesting ways to well engage the community. I really love my job because I’m not just told that I’m appreciated, I’m shown it. And me being trans? Is literally never an issue. Not even discussed outside of things like when I bring it up for a topic because the reason I really wanted to work for the company is the focus on including people like me. The geek community can be brutal for us Queer folk of colour. I wanna change that, and so does the rest of the team at Quirk. Having those pockets where I could be myself was all that got me through the past few years, and I want to make sure everyone has those. So now I’m here. Obviously that’s not everything, and it’s been a long time so while this is a long post think how six years of transitioning was? Whoof. I’ve been on HRT for over a year, I did my shot last night actually my bandaid has CHarazard on it so I’m very content. My family all know and if you think little siblings have a hard time? You’re so wrong cause my twelve year old sister is like my biggest supporter. If she could have a trans flag cheerleader uniform I really think she would. It’s been a really long journey, and it isn’t over. Cause it kinda never really is. You never really stop coming out, because you’re always meeting new people aren’t you? But I mean I never stop telling people I like cheese either. It’s just a fact about me. Like any other. I eventually want top surgery, I’ll probably be on HRT my whole life, and I think I’ve decided I wanna share my journey with the interwebs. Partly for me, because I’m big into documenting, I still go back and look through my old blogs from years ago. And partly because seeing things like this meant a lot to me as a kid, so even if there’s just like, one kid out there somewhere, reading this under the covers so no one knows and like…I dunno feeling something. Or one parent who needs to get it starting to understand and maybe feel a little more secure that their kid can be happy still. Then it all feels worth it. I realize in all this I never really explained what I meant by I don’t feel like a normal boy, and if I go too far into it gods this is gonna be too long. It is already long as fuck. But I’ll sum it up a little and maybe talk at length in another post. Hi, my name’s Nic. Or Stiles. Or Izzac. Or that weird red headed bitch I’ve answered to that one a couple times too. My pronouns are he/they and I’m trans masculine nonbinary. I know, a lot of words. I think there are a lot of words that could sum me up. But I’m okay with that. It feels like that’s how it should be. I’m queer, and I’m actually really fucking proud of that. And that’s normal too.

Signing off, Till next time. Stiles

[follyoliver]

Taking a break from writing little bits about Daryl’s time following Merle and his biker gang around the backwoods of Georgia to chime in with my opinions about Carol’s boyfriend options and how they are several, and they are all competent, interesting, complicated characters with a core of goodness, who have a lot of respect and even admiration for Carol - and one boring suburban dad.

The amount I do not give a shit about Tobin is truly staggering. I mean, sure, he’s nice. He’s nice to Carol. He’s a step up from Eddie, that’s for fucking sure. But that is low standards when Carol is this amazing, badass, one-woman army who cannot be stopped, who can take down a whole fortress all on her lonesome, who thinks kids should protected at all costs, including teaching them to be able to defend themselves during secret story time training sessions!

She’s been courted and otherwise followed around desperately by a kung fu master who has mystical visions of the dead, an angel of death, and 1 actual king and you’re telling me she’s into this piece of dry toast, khaki pants wearing, balding, soft, non threatening, bland, elevator music, middle-aged middle-class middle-of-the-road white man???????????? Seriously?

Can we talk about how much Morgan loooves her, and despite her constantly telling him to fuck off he keeps coming back if her life is in danger, and he’s a little patronizing at times but not overbearing, and he just, he loves her so much that he starts killing again, to save her life, and he admits that she’s right about killing for people you love, which is as good as a love confession, and he’s always checking on her during her stupid self-imposed exile, just to make sure she’s alive and maybe bring her some food, like a good boyfriend.

Can we talk about Daryl’s devotion to her? I honestly hate to even read it as romantic because Carol is so maternal with him, and he’s so filial with her. He’s all “don’t be sad mom” from the minute he starts looking for Sophia, and it just keeps going in that vein forever, even after her transformation into Mega-Carol, who doesn’t need his help anymore, not really. But even if we don’t read it as romantic it’s still clear that it could be read that way, and he’s still a better boyfriend than Tobin.

Can we talk about how King Ezekiel is in love with her?????????????? And he’s sexy and he’s a sweet, funny, LARPing nerd and he’s a literal king????? Like it doesn’t matter that he’s a renfaire nerd about it, he still literally reigns over the kingdom as a literal king. And he’s a good king! They have such a big functional peaceful kingdom! With food and crops and a reasonable defense force!

I mean recently they lost the defense force, but this Negan shit is really exceptional circumstances and i don’t think their loss undermines the magnitude of what Ezekiel has built in any way. Obviously Ezekiel feels differently, because he feels responsible, so he’s going thru some Stuff right now, but that takes Nothing away from my point here, which is that he’s Carol’s best and sexiest boyfriend option and they are In Love and the show needs to get on board with that pronto, ok. Carol deserves this! Ezekiel deserves this! The audience deserves this! Plus, unite their kingdoms with their romantic partnership - a good old fashioned political marriage alliance! But with less patriarchal gender role stuff! Carol cannot be tamed!

Ezekiel is sexy and fashionable and had a tiger! Ezekiel goes and confides in Carol privately because she really Sees Him! Ezekiel is fun! Ezekiel cares deeply about the safety of his people! Just like Carol cares deeply about the safety of hers! Ezekiel puts up with Carol's Extra, melodramatic bullshit because he is also Extra and melodramatic! He needs her ruthlessness and clear-eyed, sometimes harsh perspective to balance out his gentleness and forbearance! He needs her intense partisanship to balance his careful neutrality in the name of peace! I love them!!!!!!!

But no, the seduction of some slim facade of normality, represented by her stint in Alexandria and her relationship with Tobin, was too much for Carol to resist. And of course that makes sense. She does really like the idea of herself as a normal sweet boring suburban mom. She wants to be ordinary and non threatening and pretend that she’s never been thru any trauma in her life. She wants a fresh start, and apple pie, and a house with a yard. She wants it desperately. During the majority of this show, it has not been an available option. Once it is, it is clear - to me at least - that this is the part of Carol that most holds her back. Seeming normal and non threatening in order to blend in or avoid suspicion is one thing - actually settling in and settling down and above all, settling for, is another thing entirely.

Carol deserves better! Carol is exceptional and should absolutely hook up with one of the exceptional people who are throwing themselves at her! In some ways I think it should be Morgan just because they’re such good foils for each other - hypercompetent lone wolves with really interestingly contrasting philosophies of killing that shift and evolve and respond to each other - but on the other hand, she’s much better partners with Ezekiel, and it’s just really deeply sexy when he looks deep into her eyes and tells her in his regular person voice, not his king voice, that she “sees” him.

This is all to say that I’m not sorry Tobin is dead now, and it was a pretty exciting death scene, which is all I’d ask from his character, who after all never did anything wrong and was a sweet guy, probably. He deserves an exciting death scene, as opposed to an offscreen death or just kinda being forgotten about.

Hopefully now Carol can mourn him and move on to someone more interesting.

[eightw]

finished playing life is strange true colours and honestly? it was immesnly underwhelming, and kinda disappointing.

im gonna rant about it here a little bc i dont have any friends who like the game lol

my biggest problem is that none of the choices matter, at all, and you can tell even as you’re making them. half feel like nothing more than dialogue choices, and the rest have no outcome on the ending. jed is arrested no matter who believes you, forgiving him or condemning him has no effect on either of them, and in the end the most important decision you make is the silly “do i stay or leave” bullshit. like, i really don’t care??? the one and only choice i made that felt like it had consequences was choosing to sign the affidavit vs taking pike’s fear and guess what, that choice didn’t fucking matter either! you take down jed and typhon either way! 

now don’t get me wrong im not against a happy ending (even if i prefer the endings in LIS 1 and LIS 2). my problem is mostly that they’re both extremely shallow, and have nothing to do with the game you’ve just played. the biggest change is who you romanced, but even that doesn’t change anything other than which character model is in the scene. but also, not to get on my high horse or anything, but insisting that they needed to make a happy game because you’re “tired of the depression games” (actually quote i saw on someone complaining about the criticism of true colours) means nothing. like, okay, so you want to ingest nothing but fluff and happy times, regardless of depth, i get that, it’s your right. but why does other media have to conform to your desires? i do think it’s worse that they didn’t stick with the themes of the other games, even if it was in the name of making things happier. seek out something that’s happy, rather than insisting something pr-existing change, or thinking it’s a good thing that it did. 

the last episode is also kinda unwhelming. like, i love the flashbacks, but they feel like they’re coming way too late in the game. up to this point alex has shown little preoccupation over her past, and they put so much emphasis on “you need to stop rewriting your memories” even though up until this point we’ve been given no reason to think she’s struggling with this, or the whole “you need to be strong thing”?? it’s like they invent a whole bunch of character issues just for the sake of resolving them. 

alex’s powers are also immensely boring. they’re interesting for the first fifteen minutes, where we see her being overtaken by mac’s rage and ethan’s fear, but then she just, magically overcomes that weakness, i guess?? and spends the rest of the game reading other people’s emotions with no problem, which isn’t interesting from the start because all the characters are already making it clear what they’re feeling, but made worse by the fact that there isn’t actually any gameplay for her powers. it’s just watching a slide show of the zoomed in object while listening to a voice over. most of the time, it isn’t even telling the player anything new. 

don’t even get me fucking started on the LARP. it was so goddamn long, and for nothing! none of it was plot important, and it comes right after such a build up, they’ve just stolen the usb, now what’s going to happen? oh. a hella long LARP where nothing matters. great /s. if i wanted to roleplay, i’d play a roleplaying game. if i wanted to LARP, i’d do it irl and not in a video game. 

the only thing i really liked about this game was the characters, at least the few that don’t get shelved halfway through. i love gabe (especially in the fifth episode), and alex, and of course i love steph and ryan. so if you see me reblogging art of them mind your business lol. i like the story, i like the characters, did not like it as a video game. 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff ~ Seven of the Season: MLP Season 8 Part I

WARNING: Do not offer me a popsicle; I’m not much a fan of them anymore. I don’t know why, really. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

Since it’s on hiatus until....August, it seems (confusingly lame), wanted to look back on this current season so far since it legitimately has been almost 8 years and I’m still watching this show. Not that that’s a bad thing, but unlike Adventure Time or Archer, it doesn’t feel like it’s aged all that majorly. And really, I wanna commemorate that. Due note part 2 will be for the entire season; to kinda ease my options in the end. So here be the Top 7 BEST Episodes of the first arc of season. Seven, because it’s lucky, baby. Here we go…

7. Grannies Gone Wild

Don’t look up ‘Grannies Gone Wild’ on Google Images. Not even safesearch is safe from the bizarre shit you might find. As for the safe for work version, it feels like a ‘standard’ episode, where Rainbow’s trying to keep the apple grannies safe from hurting themselves while trying to get on a rollercoaster on its last day. Though what makes this funny is that while you could think that Rainbow Dash is at fault for biting off more than she chew, it’s really Applejack’s fault for being such an enabling overprotective mook. Seriously, everybody agrees in the episode that it’s Applejack’s fault. What makes it even funnier and put this on the list are the grannies themselves, since they remind me a lot of my grandparents (may they rest) and have no time for Rainbow’s shit throughout. While it’s low on the list for its conventionality, I still enjoyed it for what it was. Especially since this joke will forever be associated with it

6. Marks For Effort

Preferentially, hating on the character Cozy Glow like I’m Alex Jones for how suspicious she acted kept me going for this episode. As such, it’s surprising to say that this was a great episode for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Even when they don’t achieve much in the end, they have an honest goal in mind and it didn’t feel far fetched, and they band well together in teaching the Wooby friendship. Unlike their other episode this season, it never felt like they had to get in each other’s way to achieve something together. It felt like they were earning their endgame, which made it bizarre that Cozy would just sabotage her test to help them out. I mean honestly what purpose did that stand beside giving Starlight a chance to--Oooooh ho ho. DHX, you clever bastards, you wanted to make me feel for Starlight having little to her name now as the school counselor. Mmmmmhmmm, not falling for it. In any case, stopped for the Cozy Glow hatin’, seriously I’m gonna stone that wooby, stayed for the quality time with the CMC. As for you, Starlight, come back when you’re a main character.

5. The Mean Six

This was honestly a surprising episode based on how nothing and everything happened in the span of 22 minutes. Chrysalis returned, offering the most charmingly hammy performance to date. And while her plan to get the elements of harmony fails tremendously, and never really started to be honest, it was fascinating to see that she could’ve been indirectly responsible for breaking apart the mane six. If the show didn’t have to fall under the status quo, this would’ve actually been a clever way of presenting a fallout arc for the characters while Chrysalis is unaware of this, thinking she still needs to plot their downfall. The mean six, or Negagangers, were utilized much better here than when Discord tried this in season 2. And somehow I actually felt for Starlight getting the short end of the stick (maybe that was because she wasn’t the one who brought everyone together in the end, but who knows). The only downside is that, if you’ve seen this show plenty of times, you know what’s gonna happen and it lacks the specialty. Though it does make up for its reasonable message, the Archer-esque way the characters play off each other, and that ending scene where the Negagangers having their faces melted is the 2nd most metal thing this show has done. And no, I’m not gonna show that, for I’d like more dreams than nightmares.

4. The Break Up Breakdown

This at first felt like a conventional Valentine’s day episode (in May) with it all just amounting to misunderstandings.... made even crazier when it involves Big Mac accidentally giving a child his romantic gift, eavesdropping on his lover, said lover getting dirty, and Discord taking Big Mac and a child dragon to a swinger’s club, all to get back to LARPing. And honestly, that is what elevated this episode, crazy shit happens and it’s not so much Discord’s fault, though he is essentially what makes this episode work so well with the fact that he cares for none of this yet is on top in the end (phrasing). Plus my heart did skip a beat when Big Mac and Sugar Belle reconciled in the end, giving me memories of the good rom coms of yore like Moonstruck and Muriel’s Wedding, except without the ABBA. And again, Discord nonchalant attitude toward everyone else’s lovestruck ideals of Valentines with his newfound obsession with D&D kept this entertaining and worth coming back. 

3. The Maud Couple

As it is unfortunate that Maud’s new boyfriend will forever be named Mud Fuckstick, Fuckstick is honestly the best character in this episode and just makes this episode so entertaining; especially on the grounds that he does little to nothing else to jumpstart the plot beyond being around and being methodical with his wordplay. The fact that Pinkie is legitimately fuming at Fuckstick potentially taking her sister away is ironically hilarious. Episode would’ve been higher up if not for that one scene of Pinkie screaming her head off for 4 seconds. I don’t mind Pinkie spazzing out, but those 4 seconds was a screeching convulsion, like christ. Plus, I realized something: Pinkie can be really selfish and mostly cares about the idea of caring for others’ feelings and use the self esteem she gets as a coping mechanism for her own depression. Really, that hits pretty close to home in some aspects because you want people to be happy because that makes you happy, but when some crucial sacrifices are required from you, it can be really hard to swallow that you probably won’t be happy about it the whole time, and putting up with it will feel like as terrible an uphill battle as the thought of not doing anything.................................heheheh, Bazonger!

2. Fake it ‘Til You Make It

Honestly, this episode is great solely because Fluttershy is great in this. It’s a titch bias since Fluttyshy’s been one of my favs since the beginning, but this episode showcases my love for her in a way. The fact that she had to put up and bullshit her way through customers’ wants and complaints were relatable enough, but seeing her actual warp her personality through her many changes to the point where she actually comes off as threatening was....somewhat moving for this show. She essentially became an antagonist for a few moments and it never felt like her change was sorely out of the blue. Her other personalities were funny (unsurprisingly ‘Gothishy’ came out as my favorite), her raccoon fam were a valuable addition to the character dynamic, and while Rarity is generally at fault for making Fluttershy go through all that in a short matter of time, her resolve in the end was direct and empathetic as well. Also it gets point for Fluttershy saying ‘Woke’, snowflake cutie mark goth pony, and having a pretty solid message in the end.

Honorable mentions: Non Compete Clause, School Daze (Part 2)

1. Horse Play (Phrasing)

I’ll be real, I shouldn’t think this episode is great. Generally because the main character isn’t great in this. Twilight is so stubborn in this, it felt out of character. The answer was obvious, they remind us over and over again, but Twilight continuously ignored all that because of her apparent bottomless admiration for Princess Celestia? This far in the show? It is unforgivable, and annoying no doubt. It felt like she was purposefully sabotaging her own ideas after already acknowledging that Princess Celestia has performance issues, not to mention her friends trying and failing to get the stage upright. After basically being friends with Celestia for this long, it shouldn’t have been that fucking hard to be honest with her, and not treating her as if she doesn’t have a flawless bone in her body! So basically Twilight was the least favorite part of this episode and she really bogged it down a notch. But how is this #1? It’s fun. Celestia was having fun, we get to see her be ecstatic, quirky, LIVELY again for more than a few seconds. The cast was fun, reminding me of other episodes where everyone was together trying their best to not screw up too badly (see Saddle Row Review). Spike was on his sass A game. And the final act when Celestia took over made for the best ending of this season; her helping Fluttershy build confidence was a definite highlight of this series as a whole. Even the leaked version of this episode with it having no music and stock sound effects was the most fun I had with this season. It was fun. Can’t say much more.

This season didn’t so much offer its best in my eyes. The seven of this first part of the season were the seven only good ones, with the remaining ranging from boring to just pathetic. However, I will say that after this long, I say they can still pull off some wonderful episodes, on the initial and look back, so I’m certainly not counting them out just yet. And with that, I’m Roy Macintosh, and that’s all I got.

[rainbowshapedspace]

Answer 1 through 92!! No question should go unanswered.

Oh damn okay

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Not sure

2. Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

No

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yep, twice

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Hell yeah lmao

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

Yep

6. What are you excited for?

DR (Dystopia Rising, it’s a LARP I go to) and to try ADHD meds again so maybe I might be able to focus on my homework lmao

7. What happened tonight?

?? it’s 3pm?

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Nah live your life girl

9. Is confidence cute?

Hell yeah

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Dat focus juice (coffee)

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Oh yikes um…not very many, only people who are really close to me

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Yup, wearing them rn

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Not sure, I’d like to get drunk tbh

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Probably DR

15. When was the last time you cried? Why?

A couple days ago because I was listening to a song and the sound quality was SO GOOD AND AAAAAAAAA

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Yeah, I mean everyone changes gradually over time

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I honestly don’t know, Arron maybe?

18. The last time you felt broken?

Maybe like a month ago? I don’t know tbh

19. Have you had sex today?

Unfortunately no

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

This is so vague lmao but yeah I am, I’m realizing that I’m not as mentally ill as originally thought, and that I know what steps I can take to make myself happier

21. Are you in a good mood?

Yep

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Probably not, but who knows

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes

24. What do you want right this second?

To be able to fully focus on my homework and also for someone to turn up the heat in the ITCC gotdamn

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I mean I would be sad but it’s not like I have any authority over them, they can do whatever they want. Now if we were in a relationship then that would be a different story…

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yep

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Nope

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

bONK

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Yes

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Everyone? No. Most? Yes

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Not at all

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

Nope

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

YEP I can’t do bubbles it’s sensory hell

34. Listening to?

These weird howling wind noises that the ITCC is making rn it’s really creepy

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yeah

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

On campus somewhere

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes

38. Who did you last call?

My doctor

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Claire at DR

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

I was bored lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Oh man I dunno, a while ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Oh yeah lmao

44. Do you tan in the nude?

Bruh I am ginger I don’t tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Eh, I’m kinda indifferent about it

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Chris

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?

Sometimes

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yeah, a couple times, I still don’t really know how to do it

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Oh man I dunno, a long time ago

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

No

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Oh yeah

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

I don’t think so

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple I guess if I had to pick one

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

A scientist

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Hell yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

Yep

59. Take a vitamin daily?

If I remember, so no lmao

60. Wear slippers?

Sometimes

61. Wear a bath robe?

Sometimes

62. What do you wear to bed?

T-shirt and shorts

63. First concert?

Furthur

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

T-T-T-T-T-T-TARGET

65. Nike or Adidas?

Nike I guess? I don’t really have a preference

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Fritos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Style

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Maybe computer science since I’m in the field too, but idk

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yep

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

God no, I have this processing issue where it’s really hard for me to spell out words one letter at a time so a spelling bee would be a nightmare for me

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yep

74. What is your favorite book?

East by Edith Pattou

75. Do you study better with or without music?

It depends on what I’m doing, I like to listen to music while I study but I can’t listen to music with words while I’m reading something

76. Regularly burn incense?

No

77. Ever been in love?

Yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Arctic Monkeys, The Black Keys, and Radical Face

79. What was the last concert you saw?

Fall Out Boy!!

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Neither

81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Entenmann’s chocolate chip cookies, or those super soft sugar cookies with frosting from the grocery store

83. Can you swim well?

I don’t know how to “properly” swim, like different strokes or whatever, but I can keep myself from drowning so that’s good

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yep

85. Are you patient?

Nope lmao

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Ooooo that’s tough, but probably live music would be better

87. Ever won a contest?

Yeah I think I’ve won a couple raffles for things

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

No

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Eww neither

90. Is there someone mad because you are dating/ talking to the person you are?

OH YEAH GIRL YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW LMAOOOO

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room? I guess?

92. Do you want to get married?

Yes

[seattleslastautumnleaf]

Midnight Musings.

So for my followers that actually pay attention to the shows that I reblog posts about.

You may have noticed a decline in reblogs about Supernatural. And I kinda wanna talk about. Mainly to see if I can put it all down into words and get over (to a degree, we’ll see with an upcoming 14th season) my issues and enjoy a show that I use to love. (I’m not going to actually tag anything so.....yeah)

First and for most: I LOVED LOVED LOVED seasons 1 thru 3. There was not a single episode that I did not enjoy at any point. Season 4 had some moments, and I know that having angels was practical in a show that had demons and vampires and wendigos and ghosts. Yellow Fever in particular being a favorite. And if you bring in angels, Lucifer (the devil) was an intuitive leap to bring aboard. I think it really started to go down hill after season 5. Which is when show creator Eric Kripke departed as showrunner, the “series’ main storyline having been concluded”.

And I felt that. While Kripke didn’t fully leave, he stayed as an executive producer, and Sera Gamble took over as showrunner. We got some interesting episodes (The French Mistake, anyone?) and obviously it was renewed for another season so people still enjoyed the show. Season 7, in my opinion held strong with Gamble holding the reins, having some episodes that brought back the original feel (seasons 1-3), like Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie. But I also felt like it was focusing on a character that I didn’t really feel served a purpose anymore: Castiel. I may get some hate for this, but I really don’t feel that Castiel has truly served a purpose since he swallowed the Leviathans and that his story lines going forward have been forced and could have been executed with a different angel (or angels) without issue. That and the fans absolutely wanting Destiel to be canon: I CANNOT STAND THIS PAIRING. I have blacklisted it from Tumblr because I didn’t want to see it, but not everyone tags their posts so occasionally a post or two sneaks through. Plus on Pinterest: there’s not a way to blacklist posts from viewing. At least not that I know of. So every time I look at Pinterest I see posts that remind me of why I’m not enjoying something I used to love. Moving forward.

Gamble was only showrunner for two years. Jeremy Carver took over for season 8. Let me just say this upfront and clear: if we were to have Dean be bisexual or even just gay, I felt he had more chemistry with Benny than he did/does with Castiel. I’m not opposed to it, even though I was a hardcore Dean/Jo fan, the show shot that in the foot because the fans didn’t like Jo. Which is an issue in and of itself. But not the point I’m making. Despite the change in showrunner, I feel that the episodes maintained it’s momentum, with episodes like Hunteri Heroici and LARP and the Real Girl and Man’s Best Friend With Benefits.

Carver continued his run with season 9, which is when I feel that the show started to decline. Reminder that the show was set to end with the fifth season, seeing as that is where the creator of the show felt the natural end point was. Honestly, the only episode that I truly liked was Alex Annie Alexis Ann. Although I was still big on live-tweeting as I was watching, I really felt like the show was declining for me, some of it due to the fan base with there incessant demand for something that wasn’t happening, and some of it just due to it feeling forced.

Season 10 saw Carver in his third season of showrunner and the show’s 200th episode. This season did have some good ones, but again I felt like the storyline was being forced. Again, a certain character didn’t help. But honestly, none of the episodes stand out as overly amazing, although I loved Ask Jeeves but that was also because Clue is probably my favorite board game and so to see them include it was awesome.

Carver ended his run as showrunner with season 11. They did a good job with the unorthodox episode Baby, which probably only worked because Baby is a pivotal character as much as Sam and Dean are. While I liked the Amara storyline, I felt that the show at this point had strayed pretty far from where the original story should have. With Dean having been a demon, I wasn’t sure how they would return from that and have it make sense. Honestly I don’t think the show put the effort into making it seem realistic in terms of dealing with trauma, which they could have gone far with. They just poofed it away as if it never happened.

Season 12 saw Robert Singer and Andrew Dabb as showrunners. Again none of the episodes stand out, although I thought it was an interesting choice in bring back Mary Winchester (Samantha Smith).

Onto the current season. 13. Dabb and Singer are still the showrunners. I loved the 3rd episode of this season, because they brought back Missouri, even though they promptly killed her. I really feel like they paid too much attention to the Jack storyline. And it’s nothing against the actor, it has everything to do with how they wrote the character. He’s very flat and two dimensional to me, and therefore boring. Scoobynatural really was the icing on the cake for me, a 90′s child through and through. I freaking grew up on Scooby-Doo. So combining that childhood with Supernatural? Yeah, I was ecstatic; they freaking brought in the voice actors for the characters of Scooby-Doo for this episode!

And promptly lost it when it returned to normal the following episode. Now the final two episode have yet to air at the time of posting this (May 9th), so my mind could be changed, but after 5ish years of not really enjoying this show, I may not watch season 14. The writers spend too much time focusing on characters that are long past their time, and kill off or completely forget about ones that could bring interest back into the show. I also feel that the pressing need to build a bigger and badder evil for each season has reached it’s limits. If the freaking devil and a world-ending apocalypse are not the worst things they can face, what is? And they’ve had a few world-ending apocalypses, that they miraculously saved the world from.

The reason I felt it necessary to mention showrunners? Style. Everyone has a different style, and a different goal for the series. I feel that too much has changed since it started and the episodes have shown that. Not to mention all the different writers (I haven’t done a count or anything on the diversity of writers, but there are little things that you notice) playing in the same sand box. You get characters doing things that don’t make sense for them to do based on early actions in earlier seasons. And I get that people change as time goes on, but some of these things are not things that would change.

And maybe that is what happens when shows get higher up in the season count. Or maybe I’ve just grown out of a show that once was the highlight of my week because I don’t need it to be that anymore.