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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year ago

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"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 2: July I

{{ Chapter 1: June I | Chapter 3: August I }} Chapter Directory

yes even modern au levi has a sad backstory, no i regret nothing

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✧ pairing ➼ levi ackermann x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ slowburn, enemies to lovers (sorta), strangers to lovers, mentions of family deaths, mentions of an emotionally abusive parent figure, gn!hange (they/them), mentions of kenny being an abusive father figure, levi being mean ✧ word count ➼ ~3.6k

Although you weren't too surprised at your ex-boyfriend's lack of timeliness in terms of dropping off your belongings, you still cursed at yourself for being naive. You remembered waiting a week before shooting Zack a text message with a drop-off point to meet up for your belongings, in which he only responded with "I'll get to it when I get to it". You knew that this roughly translated into the fact that he would be taking his sweet time getting you your stuff, if he would even bring it to you at all.

You didn't have a car and you certainly didn't want to ask Levi to borrow his with how adamant he was on ignoring your existence. Luckily, one of your "close" friends was also in town due to a summer on-campus job, so you were able to go shopping for living supplies with her.

You and Petra had been friends since high school and you appreciated her existence, but you couldn't help but feel like she was only tolerating you instead of actually being your friend. It was always you reaching out and any attempts at bonding were half-assed at best. Still, she was the only reliable person in town at the moment—and you at least got to vent about Levi to her.

You had lived with your ex-boyfriend for around three years before breaking up and getting kicked out of his apartment. This was actually your first time navigating this type of situation on your own, but you were determined to make it work, no matter how much of a dick Levi was intent on being.

"He's just been kind of ignoring me," you muttered as you sat in the passenger's seat of Petra's car. The two of you were headed towards Chosahei Cafe. You had been spending your free time there the past couple of days and you enjoyed the atmosphere there, minus Levi.

"He barely responds to text messages and barely even acknowledges me at home. Trying to initiate conversation with him is like pulling teeth," you continued.

"Maybe he's shy?" Petra suggested innocently.

You looked at her with an "are you kidding me?" expression. You were never sure if Petra was blindly positive or simply naïve, both were irritating to deal with.

"Well, you'll be able to see him for yourself if he's working his shift today," you mumbled as you saw the café come into sight as Petra pulled into the parking lot.

"You still come into this café despite the fact that he works here?"

"Well, I figured if he's going to be a dick and continue ignoring me, then I'll be as much of a pain in the ass to him as I can be."

"You're petty."

You scoffed at Petra's comment without responding as you got out of the car, swinging your backpack that was no longer overpacked over your shoulder.

As you glanced at the entrance to the café, part of you wondered if Levi was working there at the moment. It would determine how enjoyable and productive your time at the café would actually be.

You found yourself sighing in relief when he wasn't.

"No Levi today?" you asked as you waved and smiled at Onyakopon.

"Thank goodness," you muttered, which earned a chuckle out of the barista.

Instead of taking your regular seat at the coffee bar near the tea station, you elected to sit with Petra at a small two-seat table in the corner of the café so that the two of you could chat regarding your plans for the upcoming school year.

You proposed the idea of a honors society social club towards the end of last year before shit hit the fan with your ex-boyfriend. The two other officers of the club were still off-campus for a few more weeks, so you couldn't do any serious planning ahead of time. On top of the club, you also had to think about your capstone project for graduation. Although you were primarily an English major on the creative writing track, your curriculum was a bit more individualized. As a result, your capstone project to graduate was to write and publish a light novel.

You had gladly accepted the additional requirements for your major last year before things fell to shit. You had everything planned out, such as how much you should write each month or how much time you'd dedicate to outlining versus actually writing. However, the whole situation with your ex-boyfriend threw everything out of proportion. Your grades in the spring semester plummeted—you even had to take an incomplete for a few classes—and you missed out on four months of writing, which left you horrifically behind. Luckily, it wasn't enough to throw your graduation into jeopardy, but it meant that these next two years would require you to work your ass off.

On top of that, you had to make sure your baseline grades were satisfactory enough to keep your helicopter parent-style aunt off your ass. Ever since your parents passed, your aunt had picked you up, including offering you food, shelter, and financial assistance at the expense of subjecting you to her somewhat emotionally abusive behavior.

"You sure you're able to do all that?" Petra asked. It wasn't that she doubted your abilities. She had seen how much of a mess you were the previous year and knew that keeping all of this up would be difficult, even without the emotional strain of everything in your personal life.

You stayed silent for a while.

"I have to try," you whispered.

You knew that it was going to be exceptionally difficult to even stay afloat if you don't get your shit together. You told yourself that this year would be different—you'd be more independent and focus on school and school alone. You wouldn't bother yourself with relationships or be too preoccupied with superficial friendships.

You had to—your schooling, career prospects, and even relationship with your last living family member depended on it.

~~~~~

In addition to all of the things you had to accomplish with school, you also had to do with your less than pleasant roommate every single day.

Levi Ackermann was an absolutely terrible roommate. You could not think of anyone worse. Even your ex-boyfriend, had he not been your ex, would might have been a more pleasant person to be around.

Levi was a clean freak. Although you weren't a particularly messy person, it apparently still wasn't enough for his standards. You remember you left a mug and plate overnight in the sink once and Levi spent the next 24 hours grumbling about being stuck with a "filthy" roommate and how you were going to be a magnet for pathogens. You vaguely knew that he was doing research in something related to immunology, but this behavior was too extreme even for that. Even if you did agree with him regarding the dishes, grumbling passive aggressive comments underneath your breath the entire day was certainly not an effective method of communication.

You were both light sleepers. However, this was primarily only an issue for you. Levi apparently rarely slept. You would notice him wandering around the apartment throughout the night or even pacing in his room. While he wasn't noisy by any means, you also being a light sleeper meant that you were always acutely aware of his movements throughout the night. His inability to sleep was also beginning to affect yours. You had made sure that you made a mental note to buy earplugs the next time you went shopping with Petra, although you doubt that would have helped much.

One day, you found yourself scrambling around in your room, digging through your backpack and wallet. You facepalmed as you realized that you forgot to pick up your laundry card from your landlord and she was out of town for the next two weeks.

You awkwardly knocked on Levi's door. You were out of clean laundry. You hated being forced to interact with him, much less ask him for help, but you had little choice.

Your grumpy roommate slightly cracked his door open and peeked at you through it with an annoyed expression.

"What do you want?" he asked in an unnecessarily annoyed tone. "I'm busy."

"Doing what?" you asked, matching his frown. "Staring at your laptop screen all day again?"

You didn't actually care about whatever it was that he was doing. As long as he didn't bother you, you couldn't care less about his day-to-day activities.

He didn't answer.

"Whatever," you said, trying to contain your irritation. "I forgot to pick up my laundry card from the landlord. Can I borrow yours? I'll Venmo you."

Levi remained silent and continued to frown at you. A suffocating feeling arose within him. You had only been living with him for a little under two weeks, but he could already tell that you were going to be an absolute pain in his ass throughout the next couple of months.

He walked away.

You were bewildered with his behavior and apathy towards you.

"Are you serious-"

However, before you could finish scolding him regarding how petty he was being, he reappeared and held his laundry card in between his index and middle finger, holding it in your direction.

He paused before completely handing it to you.

"Don't make this a habit," he said curtly, immediately shutting his door after you took his card.

You were grateful that he lent you his card, but you still had to take more than a few deep breaths to contain your frustration. You were already wanting to rip his stupid, obnoxious head off.

Why did I have to be stuck with the worst roommate imaginable?

There was no way that you could even fathom being stuck living with Levi for the next year.

The one positive in the sea of negatives was that you had rent and utilities figured out in terms of splitting the bill. That's what ultimately mattered, so that's what you tried to focus on, although ignoring everything else wasn't exactly easy. Even setting up payments was a pain in the ass.

He was fine with handwriting an old-fashioned check and mailing it out. You were not. You didn't understand why you'd leave so much up to chance in terms of trusting that he'd get the check written in time and that the postal service would get it to your landlord on time.

You opted to set up an automatic payment system through your leasing company's website. The fact that it existed and Levi never utilized it was astonishing. You set up automatic payments as well as spreading out bill due dates throughout the month so neither of you would have to worry about having to be overwhelmed with one gigantic bill at the end of the month. You really thought he'd be grateful that you were taking the time and energy to set all this up to make both your lives easier. He wasn't.

"Anything else you have a problem with, Matcha Girl?" he grumbled as he typed into his phone.

"Matcha Girl?!" you exclaimed, surprised at his unnecessary nickname for you.

You glanced over at his phone and saw that he was typing your nickname that you never consented to into your contact information, replacing your name with it. You scoffed at him in disbelief.

He looked up at you with a neutral expression.

"What? Are you not obsessed with your Matcha's? It's all you ever fucking order."

You clenched your jaw, finding yourself frustrated for the umpteenth time at him.

"You're a dick."

"You're a pain in the ass," he responded immediately, barely letting you finish your sentence.

Surviving this next year was really going to be impossible.

~~~~~

Levi found himself unable to concentrate. It was entirely your fault. He was sure of it.

Outside of reading at home and working at the café, Levi found himself being forced to labor away his time in lab. He was one year into his immunology PhD program and performed research regarding pathogens and the various effects of the different types on the human body. It wasn't the only reason, but it largely contributed to his status as a "clean freak".

He sighed to himself as he continued neatly writing in his notebook. He had just finished analyzing his slides and needed to jot the preliminary data before moving on to code it into the department computer. He wasn't particularly tech savvy, which contributed to how tilted he found himself at your insistence on using your leasing company's website to handle everything. Of course, you didn't need to know that. The less he had to interact with you, the better.

Levi groaned out loud as he heard the door noisily open as someone barged in, carrying too much in their arms than they could handle.

"If you fall and injure yourself, it's entirely your fault, four-eyes," he grumbled.

This so-called "four-eyes" stumbled into the room before noisily setting a myriad of lab equipment onto the table—mostly pipettes and beakers, but they had also finagled a microscope into their grasp.

Levi shot them an unamused look.

Erwin's lab primarily consisted of himself, Levi, and Hange, with Levi as the PhD student he was mentoring, and Hange as the lab tech that kept the lab running. There was the occasional undergraduate student, but this was rare.

"Oh c'mon, it can't possibly be that bad!" Hange exclaimed after listening to Levi vent about his new roommate situation for a few minutes. "_____ seems sweet."

Levi scoffed at their last comment.

"Yeah, when you're not living with her. I'm going to strangle Miche when he visits in October."

"For what? Getting a job?"

Levi remained silent at Hange's comment. He knew he had no valid reason to be mad at Miche for moving, he just hated the fact that he had to deal with you as a roommate.

"You're mad because she's an undergrad, aren't you?" Hange asked quietly.

Levi grunted and continued jotting down his notes, clearly no longer interested in continuing the conversation.

"Don't you remember your undergrad days?" Hange prompted.

"What's worth remembering?" he grumbled.

Levi always found himself incredibly irritated around undergraduate students. They were constantly running around, buying their cheaply made lattes, partying on the weekends, and generally being able to breeze through college through their parents' funding—all things he was never even given the chance to enjoy or explore.

Levi's mother had passed when he was a child. As a result, he was raised by his uncle, who couldn't be bothered to give a shit about schooling. Levi's financial aid got fucked up due to his uncle's lackluster performance in being a parent helping their kid get into and through college—which resulted in Levi having to work overtime through undergrad and pulling some strings with the academic advising office so that he could still get his degree despite having his family situation as an additional source of stress. He never got the traditional college experience, so he found himself irrationally pissed off at the more typical undergrads that didn't seem to give a single fuck about everything happening in the background that allowed them to have their "fun college experience".

"Oh y'know," Hange muttered in response to his rhetorical question. "Like figuring out how to navigate the world for the first time on your own."

They looked up and saw Levi glaring at them as if he was trying to murder them with just his gaze alone.

Levi always had to figure it out "on his own". Even around his uncle, he basically had to raise himself. He doubted that there was a single thing that Hange—or anyone—could say that would decrease his ire.

"Levi," a voice said.

Levi internally sighed as he turned to face his PI.

"Let's chat," Erwin said, gesturing to his office. "I want to discuss your project."

Since Levi was already irritable at baseline, he felt himself rapidly exiting his window of tolerance when Erwin began chatting about how he had been falling behind on research updates or literature reviews. What Erwin didn't know was that Levi was forced to work more for the past few weeks due to his moving situation, although it was unlikely that he would've done much to accommodate.

He still had three years before he needed to finish his PhD, and he could technically be granted extra semesters to finish his study, but being able to graduate in the standard four years seemed like the path of least resistance. Every other option required extra steps that gave Levi more than just a headache.

Levi decided to head home after the irritating back-to-back conversations he had been forced to endure over the course of the day. The only thing he wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and forget everything regarding real life, including labwork and the café. More than anything, he wanted to avoid thinking about his housing situation, but he knew that would be next to impossible. That further irritated him.

He groaned silently to himself as soon as he walked in the door and saw you on your laptop on the couch. You had your hair up in a messy ponytail and had already settled in for the night, wearing sweatpants and a loose t-shirt.

His following groan became audible as he noticed you approaching him.

"Hey," you said quietly, "I think we got off to a bad start."

You paused for a while to give Levi a chance to respond. He remained silent.

"But I wanted to let you know that I appreciate you letting me move in and working with me to get everything figured-"

"Just don't drag your undergrad shit home and we'll call it a day," Levi muttered as he cut you off, not interested in having a real conversation regarding the topic. He's had one too many irritating conversations in the day and he couldn't imagine talking with you as anything other than irritating.

"'Undergrad shit'?" you asked in disbelief as if you didn't hear him properly.

"Yep," he said curtly before walking past you.

You felt your frustration rising and forced yourself to take a few quiet deep breaths. You were trying to be nice and level out any tension that had resulted from bad first impressions or incompatible living styles, but none of that was being reciprocated.

Being around Levi truly was strange for you. You hated to admit it, but you knew you had a pattern of prioritizing other people's happiness over your own, even to the point of silencing your own voice and autonomy.

However, Levi effortlessly pissed you off every single time you interacted with him. Even if you wanted to prioritize his needs over yours, you couldn't. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the satisfaction.

"You really want to make living together this difficult?" you asked, trying your best to contain your anger.

Levi was immediately able to tell how pissed off you were getting, but that didn't give him any remorse. He shot you an expression that matched your mood: angry and hostile.

"Looks to me like you're the one making it difficult."

"What?!" you exclaimed, a bit louder than intended.

"Were you not the one that came up to me with this shit?" he asked calmly.

It pissed you off how seemingly calm he seemed while you were unraveling in rage.

"I walked in the door for less than 30 seconds before you brought shit up."

You clenched your fists and spoke through clenched teeth.

"Well, I'm trying to come up with a compromise!" you argued. "So we can at least get along while being forced to live together!"

Levi scoffed before rolling his eyes and walking towards his room, cutting the conversation off.

You couldn't understand why he was being this hostile to you. Sure, you had called him a dick at your first meeting, but in your defense, he was giving you a hard time at the café and your fuse was already short because you couldn't get keys to the apartment—which was also caused by him. If anything, you should be the hostile one.

You weren't sure if you did something wrong. Your previous roommate of three years, your ex-boyfriend, always said that you were a terrible person to live with, so you began to really suspect if it was something about you that made you difficult to live with, despite you putting in active effort to accommodate or be considerate of their living styles.

As you began to consider all the reasons as to why you might have had a fundamental flaw that made co-living unrealistic, you suddenly stopped your train of thought and clenched your fists—enough was enough.

Even if it was you, even if it was some terrible oversight you've had in which you were already ruining your relationship with your new roommate, you told yourself that you had enough of pleasing people like Levi—people who trampled upon your efforts to cooperate and threw them out the window. If he was going to be this difficult, you were going to be difficult back. Social reciprocity—or in this case, the lack thereof—was a thing.

You groaned to yourself as you sat back down on the couch, holding your head in your hands out of frustration.

How the fuck am I going to get through this year if I have to come home to this every day?

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4

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dashawfrostart · 9 months ago

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This Week In "Time & Again" #12: It's Alive... Alive! Honest! And A Little Sour, And A Bit Sweet!

Guten Fhtagn! It's been... a while again.

(this is just a colourful teaser for you now, because it feels silly to make a post that starts with a wall of text - even though I personally love walls of text. Keep reading and you'll find out why those weird empty rectangles are here! And as I often do: there's an animated GIF in the end of the post!) Lately, life has sucked me into a giant cycle of great and lush eventfulness. Kinda as if I hopped into a funnel and then swirled around a bit. I might even say it was fun (haha, fun funnel 😁 What, not funny?.. Lame?.. Aah, well then). So, below goes a straightforward chronological report on what happened to "Time & Again" during this long looooong period of my blogging hiatus.

2 weeks ago I've actually spent only a few days working on "Time & Again" - much less than anticipated. As I always say, life usually takes away so much time from art!.. 🤣 However, it's always a choice. Because I'm not drawing 24/7; never did, and perhaps never will - because otherwise I'll never go birding, among other things. And birding is love. Birding makes Frosty happy. I wanna see more nuthatches and northern flickers around me, preferably every day, when possible. Too much to ask? Yes! But life is always about setting priorities straight and meticulously balancing the things you love and want to do. Because something always goes first, and something other goes second (third, fourth, etc.). So that is what I'm trying my best to do here.

But that was only half of the problem. The other half of the problem was about my futile endeavour to relight the creative spark that was seemingly extinguished over the course of the previous 2 weeks - perhaps due to the reasons mentioned above in this post. I'm always very hesitant to take breaks as I work on my projects, because it breaks immersion - and getting back into the mood again might pose a serious challenge. That is exactly how some of my novels/stories failed to see the light of day in the past. Now, since the work on Chapter 5 is nearing to its end - yes, it's almost done!!! - it's just very disappointing to slow down and having to look for the spilt marbles on the floor (however, Lothar, personally, will definitely benefit from at least TRYING to find his own marbles 🤦‍♀️ dear goodness, that man is indomitable). The work still went well, but without excitement I previously had. And I perpetually have serious problems trying to figure out a personal cure for the "lack of spark" issue: not even once in my entire life have I found a resolution that works wonders like a panacea for me in situations like that.

That said, with all of the distractions and not-exactly-creative events with myself in the epicentre, I managed to keep my word and created a Krita forum thread featuring majority of WIP screenshots from Chapter 5, which you can view following that link. Now, my only objective in this regard is to keep updating it 😁 (what I'm kinda failing at recently)

While not being exactly productive with "Time & Again" - that is only up until this week (read ahead) - in the meantime I have reconsidered a couple things that are related to the artistic part of my existence. One of the decisions was to take down the links to my DeviantArt account sometime after this post goes life. The reasoning behind that decision is as simple as an egg: because I don't post anything on DeviantArt anymore. And I keep forgetting to do it anyway. And I keep forgetting simply because it doesn't really matter. In the recent years I perceived DeviantArt to be nothing but a sort of a personal sketch/art dump simply for the sake of gaining more exposure [not really - read an UPD note ahead]. Let's be honest here: DeviantArt is not a good place anymore. It used to be awesome in 2008-2010 or around - for me anyway. But nowadays... Not so much. I don't think I want to delete it yet, for I still want to pop up, perhaps, once or twice a year and dump all the new artworks in there for the future archival purposes - and in case if somebody might be still interested. But for now, I view my DA account as an almost completely dormant collection of trash masterpieces of yore. So I will stop promoting it for the reason of it being obsolete like the morning dew beneath your feet in its current state. (holy effing smokies, that song was very difficult to find to provide a link to! 😱) [UPD 2024/03/12]: my aim with this was originally a bit off - which I realized only now. Aside from it being a random artworks dump, my decision to keep my DeviantArt account alive was precisely for linking back to it: meaning, I was thinking about uploading artworks on there in order to specifically use them in my posts and on the websites. So, yes, it is a relatively dormant collection, but also a convenient stash of art things to utilize elsewhere (thank you, id Software, for teaching me this word! 🤣). I'll see if that really works out in the future tho.

There's also something else that I don't to reveal just yet, and I'll keep it a secret for now 😉 I must try something before I jump to conclusions.

HOWEVER!.. This last week has changed the tides considerably, in my favour. Again, having only a very hypothetical and a rather unclear clue on why that happened - what, I must admit, mesmerizes and puzzles me to a great extent - that long-longed-for spark I thought I had lost along the way somehow magically returned back to me after I spent a few hours (and 2 days in total) of writing an arch-important "Notes & Commentary" section for the reissue of all the previous "Time & Again" chapters that is nigh (here, I teased ya. Now live with it 😎🤣). I really like "Time & Again". Even while it's still incomplete. Even if Lothar is just a stubborn a**. Even if a certain other character has quite funky fetishes. Even if Jeanny is perhaps dealing with her own little pinky demons. I really like "Time & Again", and I really enjoy its style, so revisiting the whole thing for the sake of writing additional materials for it quite possibly worked in a positive way on my spark. I love you, my spark. Let's keep it this way for as long as we can from now on. So now the work goes quite well, and I feel very good about it. There's still something troublesome that needs to be dealt with... but that'd be a painful tale for yet another post.

And, of course, I experimented with some Krita stuff again - for it seems, Chapter 5 really marks a period of great technical discoveries for me.

For example, finally, after all these years 😅🤣, I learnt and made a very good use of the toggle "All Layers" and "Current Layer" settings of Contiguous Selection Tool (that'd be your Magic Wand tool, ya Photoshoppers around - including my past self). That helped me to speed up flood fill of the certain areas. Speaking of flood fill and all, I experimented more with the "smart fill" as well. In the previous post, I was dreaming about an advanced AI algorithm to automatically recognize and colour the characters according to a user-prepared colour pallete. I might be exaggerating a bit, but flood-filling flat colours on every page felt almost stupefying - and, in short, not fun. I've read a little about the potentials to automate the process in Krita and have discovered a few neat tricks that I might use to speed up the process of colouring of the next Chapter. But right now - that's a story for another day in the future. And at last, let's talk about the backgrounds. I find it that the backgrounds that are just, let's say, "placeholders" and don't contain the surroundings of the characters are sometimes challenging. And in Chapter 5, there's gonna be plenty of those - because oh boy do I love long conversations! (strong self-awareness and self-mockery go here) And most of these conversations don't even require detailed environments for the backgrounds! Because people are just friggin' talking! And their surroundings don't matter on those particular panels. I've looked through quite a few graphic novels and comics at the local book store to get extra inspirations - but very often I see that the artists simply fill the panel with a solid colour. Completely flat. I must admit, I'm deeply hesitant to do the same, because I like at least a little texture on storywise-insignificant solid colours. It gives... depth.

So this is what I've been doing so far (and yes, you guessed it now! the picture in the very beginning of this post is very relevant here!):

While the "flat solid colour" on the background just seems... too flat, I decided to utilize a gentle gradient as a base, and then to apply additional brush strokes on a separate layer with special blending mode in order to create the effect of imperfection and ever so slightly visible texture to it. After a few sessions of trial and error, and thinking about how it feels and if it matches the mood of the chapter, I ended up using a couple of watercolour and splatter brushes together, in black, and the layer blending mode that I figured worked best for me was Soft Light (SVG). As illustrated by the following GIF:

And LAST (but as usual: not the least, but I won't cover "the least" in this current post for now, for the post is already a fatso - typical, innit?!), I've learnt how to use Filter Layers for the quick colour correction on the go. And this might be extremely useful in a long run for the future chapters of "Time & Again". I might cover this in one of my next posts.

That should be enough for now. So let's summarize: I most certainly did NOT disappear because "Time & Again" ceased to exist, or because I've been abducted by aliens, or because I got carried away giving belly rubs to pinky demons, or anything alike. I disappeared BECAUSE I was working hard on my story, even though at times it didn't go as smooth as I wanted to 😉.

Well, folks, let's wrap it up for today, and see you next time in another blog post! Take care! You will see Lothar in action again soon enuff! 👋

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #graphic novel #krita

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dear-ao3 · 3 months ago

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we are fucking BACK BABYYY second half of the season LETS GO!!!! and look i see all of you saying to make a post and i say as long as tumblr lets me update this one, well, we've come to far to quit now.

so without any further ado, today is august 30, 2024 and we are in the netherlands for the dutch gp

so. we got 10 races left. the dutch and italian double header, a week off, the Azerbaijan and singapore double header, several weeks off, and then we end the season with 7 week straight slam dunk of the texas, mexico and brazil triple header followed Immediately by a week off and then the final shebang vegas, qatar and abu dhabi triple header. why on earth they decided to make the last part of the season two back to back triple headers WITH sprint races at half of them after all the complained complained about the stress and strain and general lack of attention to wellbeing last year after the final triple double header, i have no idea. but we will burn that bridge when we get to it.

for now though, we have the dutch gp. and we are starting out strong with one george william russell.

george, if you recall, won the race in spa immediately before summer break only to have the title revoked form him after the car came in under weight. lewis inherited his race win. and well, the team has had some time to try and figure out What The Fuck Happened. and here is what they came up with:

"lewis and george were both weighed after qualifying. the cars were within 500 grams" and in addition to that there was also "much higher" tire wear, more plank wear and they even said that george lost "quite a bit of weight" according to andrew shovlin (i cant remember his exact title but hes somewhere in engineering? performance? something? hes in charge of things)

and yes we already knew that theres no cooldown lap in spa so no way to pick up marbles (rubber) to get the car to weigh a little more, but the george weight situation is Intriguing.

now before we get going down this rabbit hole i want everyone to remember that the problem was Distinctly With The Car. it was the car that got stuck in weighing because it was found that the car hadnt been entirely drained of fuel so they needed to re weigh it and when they got all the fuel out that was when it came up underweight. so remember, any way you want to spin this, the car itself was definitely underweight.

but it definitely didnt help matters that george was also slightly under.

ive talked about this before. a driver can loose up to 4 or 5 kilos during a race depending on how warm it is. this is taken into account so that when everything is weighted at the end the car and the driver weigh together 798 kilos.

so at the press conference they asked george about it and heres what he had to say:

"i knew before the race i was a little bit light, but it was too late to make a substantial change without eating a steak or something! which was probably not the best pre-race routine." and i think he ended up being 1.5 kilos under.

whether this is on george or on the team, no one really knows. But we do know that this is not the first mercedes driver to have been pushed to some level of unhealthy eating. lets take a brief look to the past:

mercedes has had four different driver line ups in their history:

nico rosberg (first driver, or at least he was doing better than michael significantly) and michael schumacher (second driver - ish. he had come out of retirement to race for merc)

lewis hamilton (first driver) and nico rosberg (second driver) (ish. they were both trying to be first drivers because they were so close in championship standings for 3 years running)

lewis Hamilton (first driver) and valtteri bottas (second driver)

lewis hamilton (first driver) and george russell (second driver)

now idk what michael and nico were doing at mercedes too well, but it is widely regarded that michael was kind of insane about fitness throughout his career. he was also forcing nico rosberg to piss in a bucket. but thats not really here nor there.

nico, as we have talked about, did all kinds of insane things to beat lewis when they were teammates, including cutting weight. again, unclear how much of this was from nicos own doing (cause driver weight was still unregulated at this point) and how much was from the team.

valtteri has come out and spoken before about how the team pretty much forced him into some disordered eating and general bad habits. his job at the team at this time was pretty much to just make sure lewis won.

and now we have george, who we know was told by an engineer around canada to loose weight and he has, clearly. this is a bad trend. george had also talked about mental health and all that before (i think this was a year or so ago). but in any case. idk what the hell is going on at mercedes, but george decided to b the most unbothered about it that he could by pulling up in what could be descried as the princess diana revenge dress:

george even managed to out cunt sir lewis hamilton, a feat previously thought impossible:

he then proceeded to enter an absolute pr villain arc (or, as villain as george russell can get) by saying things like this about his dsq in spa:

"nobody can take that feeling away from me. from crossing the line and celebrating with my team, standing on the podium. i think if i was in a championship fight this year it would have been a much bigger blow to us, those 25 points but, you know this season, unfortunately we're not quite there."

saying this to lewis hamilton on the fan stage after lewis showed up dressed entirely in red tommy hilfiger:

"mate, what is this red? that's next year, not this year!"

(at that same fan stage lewis tried very very hard to side step questions about when he is next making music (for those of you who dont know he is featured on the song pipe by christina Aguilera as the artist called xnda) by taking friendship bracelets from fans)

and george almost hit oscar with a golf cart.

george also asked if a reporter was talking about kimi raikkonen when they mentioned the possibility of kimi antonelli getting the other merc seat next year. he also said "hes the f2 driver, right?"

speaking of kimi antonelli, toto wolff may have accidentally confirmed that he was signed for next year because he was supposedly quoted as saying “The two drivers in our car next year have our full support. I want it to work with George and Kimi.” kimi is also driving fp1 next week in monza and many people think that it is going to get announced there because that is his hime race. but only time will tell if the rumor mill is correct.

but there is far more interesting toto wolff news and that is that somehow the mercedes social media admin got him to do the "its very demure" trend. no. i am not kidding.

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this becomes infinitely funnier when you realize that alpine also tired to get pierre gasly to do this and they failed epically.

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williams also hopped on the trend with this picture of alex

accompanied by this caption

but alpine tho did pop off with this stroopwaffle video

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and as usual, they were not the only ones with stroopwaffle content.

over at red bull, max (whos home race this is) and checo hid stroopwaffles for eachother. and then daniel also delivered max a stroopwaffle during an interview.

lando norris, self proclaimed stroopwaffle lover, ate some with oscar and they managed to look like they were on a date or an album cover in the early 2000s:

and while we're at it here, lets get into the regularly scheduled mclaren update:

-lando has a mullet. im not finding a good picture of it you'll see it in the later videos.

-we found out that oscar's ribs got broken gradually because of how his seat was fitted. they have since fixed this problem and his ribs are no longer broken.

-lando's mom showed up to surprise him at the fan stage

-lando's dad was also there and he was wearing the most fuck ass cardigan shirt thing that i have ever seen.

-oscar shit on the mclaren instagram admin for hitting a curb at the airport and ruining a tire and then the next day for hiding in the motorhome instead of being out in the rain like oscar had to be

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ferrari had one very stand out, absolute shining moment this weekend, and it was when charles leclerc was asked how training leo is going. he was briefly free of the ferrari misery and his eyes were filled with light as he told us all that

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and the other team that really stood out with their insane pr this week, was weirdly, williams.

first we had alex albon call logan sargeant out for looking like the standing man emoji. he was correct.

but far more interestingly! team torque was back!! what is team torque?? its the fuck ass williams podcast! where they basically leave logan and alex in a room for like an hour and they yap about everything and also nothing. there was very notably no team torque at spa. and people were outraged. but it was back! and it was back with a bang:

alex: did you have a brat summer? logan: i dont even know what that means alex: well you should. i dont know what it means, but it sounds like it should be for you. slay summer. logan: mine was peaceful. i wouldn't use the word slay.

you know who definitely did have a brat summer though? gunther steiner. the disgraced ex haas team principal who was in the paddock inexplicably and even more inexplicably teaching random people the apple tiktok dance

speaking of haas. once again they were in some hot ass water. theres one thing you need to know about haas and it is that they have extraordinarily bad luck. such as the infamous tire incident in australia 2018, or, more relevantly, that time they had to fire nikita mazepin, their driver, barely 3 weeks before the start of the 2022 season because they couldnt prove that his father, who was the owner of uralkali (some kind of agricultural company thing), which was haas's title sponsor at the time, wasn't funding the russian Ukrainian war on the side of russia. and that was kind of bad for their image. so they dropped both mazepin and uralkali.

well. turns out. they still owe uralkali money. from the sponsor deal. and if they do not pay it this weekend, their cars are not allowed to leave the netherlands. thats kinda problematic you see because its a double header and they need to be in monza next week. but they did pay! so you know, fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong with that.

and once again, theres more rumors about adrian newey. people seem convinced that he will be announced to sign with aston in September.

also the alpine / renault workers are on strike again about the engine deals theyre negotiating with mercedes. mostly because of how the negotiations are being done aka leaving all of their employees in the dark.

in any case though, that is not the silliest silly season news.

another seat has been filled.

which seat? you might be asking.

yes! jack doohan is racing for alpine next year!!!

this is cool for several numbers of reasons. first, jack is the first driver to be promoted to f1 from the alpine drivers academy since romain grosjean in 2009. alpine has a history of fantastically fumbling drivers in their academy. grosjean was only promoted for half a year to replace piquet jr after crashgate (remember that whole thing with flavio briatore i mentioned a few races back? he rigged a race by having one of his drivers crash?) and then dropped off the academy and ended up with a seat at lotus. ocon and albon were both sponsored back when they were renault (or maybe lotus) but then were dropped. zhou was also an alpine driver academy driver and said it was bad and that he was happy to leave.

and they famously fumbled oscar in 2022. oscar had been the alpine reserve driver and academy driver. following the departure of fernando alonso from the team alpine jumped the gun and announced that oscar would be joining the team in 2023. oscar then tweeted his famous tweet:

and alpine of course had to do a callback to this

and many people of course congratulated jack, but one of them was oscar, during the post race show where he reached out to shake jack's hand and say. "congratuations, formula 1 driver."

and will buxton. he was overly pleased about jack.

and while it was very incredibly great that jack got signed, they did unfortunately screw mick over while doing this. mostly because they did not tell mick that jack got signed, he found out with all of us via social media when it was announced. and mick schumacher, if you will remember, was in contention for the seat. aparently everyone at sky sports germany was ready to throw hands on behalf of mick. both his mom, corinna, and his uncle, ralf schumacher, were both there this weekend and ralf told sky germany that flavio briatore (guy at alpine) has had both his and corinna's number for over 30 years and that he could have called them. and then aparently one of the reporters went up to flavio to ask him why that phone call didnt happen. they were all in agreement that it was kinda shitty for alpine to do that, but really, what do we expect at this point.

fortunately for mick though, all hope might not be lost.

because over at williams the rumors are full swirling again. and they are swirling about one logan sargeant leaving the team mid season. if you have been paying attention, you would know that this is not the first time that this particular rumor has circled around the paddock. but it seems like now james vowels, the williams team principal, has a list of people to replace logan with.

and let's remember, carlos, as we know, is signed for 2025. he still has a contract at ferrari for 2024 and there is no way in hell hes breaking that to go williams Early.

and williams are currently 9th in the constructors championship with four points, all of which have been scored by alex albon. alex has been consistently given the better car. logan at one point didnt have a car because it was given to alex because alex crashed at practice in australia when they didnt have a spare chassis and they gave him logans. logan's car also consistently had parts from 2023 on it until not too long ago. so all in all, its been a bit of a disaster over there.

but, just for lols, who does james want to replace logan with?

for that news its time for an episode of Who Wants To Be The Next Williams Driver?

first up we have mick schumacher. he is aparently the preferred option. this is supposedly a high possibility.

pros: has a super license (needed to drive f1 cars). has 2 years of f1 experience (also in a shitbox car). is trying to get back into f1 and several teams are interested in him so seeing him in a car on the track during races could help convince people. is currently a mercedes reserve driver, which means that under the engine agreement (williams uses mercedes engines) they could borrow mick.

cons: mick has a contract currently with alpine in WEC (world endurance championship) that he would need to abandon to sign with williams.

next up is liam lawson.

pros: also has a super license and f1 experience for half a year in an alpha tauri. he is also trying to get on the grid in a full time seat.

cons: hes a red bull/RB reserve driver, which is not really in any way associated with williams, so he would have to give that up to go to williams and hes really holding out hope on getting a seat there, especially because they havent announced the second RB seat yet. he also has already been someones replacement and is probably not looking forward to doing that a second time.

next is frederick vesti.

pros: mercedes reserve driver, so he could also be borrowed under the engine agreements. has done 2 free practice tests and 2 young derivers tests for mercedes.

cons: i dont think he has a full super license, has no real race experience in f1 like mick and liam do and he is currently racing in the european le mans series.

james could also get the mclaren reserve drivers under the engine agreement, which are pato o'ward (who is currently racing for indycar and again, would be hard to get cause he would have to stop that) and ryo hirakawa (who is currently racing in the world endurance championship and again would be hard to get cause he would need to leave that) and neither of them have a full super license either. ryo though Has won le mans and pato is a pretty big deal in indycar.

williams, notably, does not have reserve drivers because they are kinda like mercedes 2. (dont ask me why mclaren has reserve drivers cause they also have the merc engines, i have no idea. maybe williams doesnt have the budget or something)

in any case, mick seems like the most likely option. sebastian vettel even crawled out of the void to back him in getting a seat at williams, should one be made available to him. that is, if logan gets replaced at all. because as we know, theres a rumor going around that logans getting cut every week or so at this point.

but maybe, just maybe, mick is up to something because he changed his instagram pfp to this photo from 2019. that he had already posted in 2019. sorry for the shit quality.

and as we know, most of these rumors dont end up panning out, because despite all of the rumors that he wouldn't be there, checo was still very much in the paddock as a red bull driver this weekend.

but with all that selection of nonsense, lets get into the actual racing.

i didnt watch any of the practice sessions because i was busy, but i do know that it was windy and rainy as hell, ferrari and red bull were pretty much disasters and daniel ricciardo saluted the spot where he broke his hand last year.

"what?" you might be asking. "daniel broke his hand?" yes he did.

last year oscar spun out into the barriers at zandvoort during a practice session and daniel tried to avoid hitting him and ended up in the wall. he didnt take his hand off of the steering wheel and ended up with a hairline fracture. he was out from zandvoort to i believe it was texas (so a good handful of races) and was replaced by liam lawson, who slayed harder than anyone thought, managed to get points and knock max verstappen (IN HIS PRIME PEAK SEASON) out of qualifying in singapore (and remember that liam is up for the alleged williams seat)

in any case, daniel ricciardo is not the first driver to break his hand.

in 2013 (and please note that this has nothing to do with the dutch gp so you can skip it if you want) jenson button was in a bar with 12 other drivers in tokyo after the korean gp. it was a shot bar and you had to ring a drum (im assuming he means like a gong) to order a round of shots for everyone but the thing you used to hit it was missing so he punched it and it swung out of the way and filipe massa said "do that again" and held it still and jenson punched it again and broke his hand. apparently david coulthard knew it was broken pretty instantly (cause he was also there) and turns out it was in fact broken and the hospital said hey buddy your hand is broken. we need to put it in a cast for 4 weeks. and he said "i have to race an f1 car in three days." and didnt cast his hand. (aparently it was a hairline break of some sort but still not great when driving a car at high speeds) and mclaren wanted to put kevin magnussen in the car but jenson outright refused and was like nope. im doing this. im racing. and he did. somehow. he not only out qualified his teammate, checo, but he also finished in 9th and in the points. he said that he was in a lot of pain and had to kind of jam his hand under the wheel and strap it there. and aparently this is the only time his dad ever got mad at him during his racing career.

now, i have no idea if the jump out test all the drivers have to do originated because of this situation (and i scoured the internet and couldnt find when that specific test originated) but i would not be surprised if it had something to do with it. but in any case. lets get back to zandvoort 2024.

and the other interesting thing that happened in free practice was that logan sargeant crashed in fp3. it was quite dramatic. the car lit on fire and everything.

and he got out fine, clearly, as he was okay. but george was near him on the track and was very concerned about the whole thing as he drove by. he was just about really to stop his car and jump out to get logan out if logan hadn't gotten out of the car on his own

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in any case. this big of a crash meant that, while there was no significant damage to the chassis (somehow), williams had their work cut out for themselves ahead of qualifying to try and get logan's car ready. ultimately though they failed and logan was not able to qualify, meaning that he was going to be starting at the back of the grid. and as a result, fp3 had some very interesting results:

but lets take a look at the rest of qualifying

so. very notably. no one has won from pole in the last six races. but pole is crucial here.

also notably, according to crofty (or maybe this was martin?) "we've had rain, sun, wind, everything except plague and pestilence."

so with that. q1.

williams has an upgrade. it is aparently to the floor and to some other aspects of the car. this makes logans crash a little worse because he they only have so many upgraded parts to put back on the car. martin brundle also told james vowels live on tv that he would have lost money on logans car's chassis not having any damage. james was remarkably quiet for the rest of the session after that.

checo got impeded by lewis. "what the fuck is this idiot doing?" checo said loudly over the radio. "i was wet out of his way," lewis responded over his radio. though, race control decided it was worth passing on to the stewards so we will see what comes of that. though, martin did imply that lewis was an 8x world champion, so there is that.

several people had no grip, including george, who was upset and down in p10. many teams needed more than one set of tires to get through the round, which was upsetting because they were sacrificing having more sets of tires at the end. which resulted in several of them getting stuck in the pit lane. including carlos, who might get knocked out. but then he didnt because he went fastest. and then george went fastest. and then checo went fastest.

all in all the usual suspects were out in q1: daniel, esteban, valtteri, guanyu and obviously logan. esteban was especially pissed about it through, nearly cursing out the team over the radio and saying that the "cars a disaster since the beginning of the weekend."

we also learned that carlos has a 2-3 year williams contract. james vowels once again went on about how getting him to sign said contract was "remarkably like dating" or something similar (idk i lost the link and i dont feel like finding it again.) over on f1tv (the other broadcast) alex jaques said "williams thinks they have the best driver lineup for next year" which was followed by hysterical laugher from everyone else in the box and then kolton palmer saying "it's so nice that they think that, when ferrari..."

and alex albon himself was quoted as saying that "i dont know carlos that much compared to the others, we both have appendicitis and our conversations only revolve around appendicitis." which is firstly hilarious and secondly somehow more hilarious when you remember all the talk from james about how scary the two of them (carlos and alex) are going to be on track together next year.

but anyway. q2.

the only real thing i have written down here is that lewis got knocked out and then charles knocked out carlos. so carlos, lewis, yuki, nico and kevin all got knocked out. lewis also got a 3 place grid penalty for his impeding of checo

so q3.

if you'll notice, alex albon got into the top 10. which was rather astonishing in a williams. and so was the slander that crofty said to james on the pit wall: "another fine lap from the man who produces them from time to time." james mostly ignored it and attributed alex's q3 appearance to luck with the wind.

aside from that. both mclarens and also max had two sets of soft tires left. everyone else had to use a second set of softs earlier to get into q3 so they only had one set. so it was no surprise that they were going to end up the top 3. but in what order?

well. i'll tell you.

lando ended up p1 with max p2 and oscar p3. following them was george, checo, charles, fernando, alex, lance, and pierre.

so we had another lando pole, and even more misery from ferrari (who were very upset they were almost a whole second off of pole) and a red bull team that was devestated about how slow they were. (the car was aparently not really working and max was just free balling it. he himself said later that the car was not easy to drive.)

but anyway. thats not the most interesting part of qualifying.

the most interesting part of qualifying was that alex albon got disqualified for having an illegal floor on his car. it was slightly too thin, and by slightly i mean like less than a millimeter. so he got disqualified. and ended up starting p20.

but none of that matters. what matters is the race.

prior to the race, logan had a slightly interesting team radio:

which makes it sound like this might in fact be his last race.

speaking of races, it was max's 200th race, as i said earlier. and it was his home race. he has won the last 3 zandvoort gps. a reporter asked him this weekend if he likes the du du du du max verstappen or the max max max super max song better. he didnt really give an answer. and daniel participated in a nice tribute article for his 200th race. max found this out while he was live on stream. it was baffling and mildly homoerotic.

and to celebrate max's 200th race, lando bongled it into the first corner on sunday.

thats right. once again, lando is not beating the cant keep a pole position allegations. thought this time it was because of the wheel spin on the car, not because of him technically. george also immediately got in front of oscar.

also having an absolutely baffling start to his race was pierre gasly who managed to get up into 7th.

lando, meanwhile, was still trying to catch up to max and he had a george and an oscar and a charles behind him. and mclaren, somehow, were confused about who they were racing.

aparently though they did decide that they were racing max because lando finally managed to catch him on lap 17. and max was struggling.

"my tries are struggling!" he said. "they just dont grip!"

and then lando passed him on lap 18. by lap 23 he was leading by 2.5 seconds.

meanwhile, lewis was picking his way up the mid field. and most bafflingly, charles was taking a chance on the ferrari strategy and attempting to undercut oscar. he pitted and then came out in 8th. george also pitted to cover charles but kinda failed because it was a slow stop and he came out stuck in some traffic.

also trying the undercut was max on lap 28. lando responded by boxing on lap 29.

after all that the order was oscar (yet to pit), checo (yet to pit), carlos (yet to pit), lando, max, charles, pierre, george

and after another round of pit stops on lap 37, lando was back in front with max behind, then charles who had somehow successfully undercut oscar.

and then lance stroll did something. he got a 5 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane on lap 38.

and other insane things were happening down in the mid field as kevin magnussen managed to get passed by 4 people at once on lap 42. this is the only clip i could find of it:

youtube

it was at this point that things started to get a little slow again. and i was watching the race with my whole family (which doesn't happen often as my sister and i have both moved out and my parents live 3 hours away) but my dad was sitting next to me, saw that hamilton was down in 8th and said "we need a yellow flag." alas, there was no yellow flag. sorry dad.

but we can get an update on where everyone is as of lap 45:

p1: lando p2: +10.745s max p3: +6.615s charles p4: +1.692s oscar p5: +4.446s george p6: +2.254s checo p7: +0.482s carlos p8: +5.091s lewis p9: +21.710s nico p10: +9.232s pierre p11: +2.011s fernando p12: +1.827s lance p13: +1.194s alex p14: +0.762s daniel p15: +10.608s esteban p16: +2.161s logan p17: +0.641s yuki p18: +5.863s kevin p19: +15.441s valtteri p20: +1.098s guanyu

yes. lando was leading by 10 seconds. he was also surprised about this.

lewis pitted again for soft tires on lap 52 and was able to maintain his track position. they did this to try and get him the fastest lap of the race. they also pitted george on lap 57 for softs and he came out in 7th behind checo, with no hope of making up positions. so he lost positions on that move. baffling decision making merc.

meanwhile, charles, despite being in a shitboox, was still fending off oscar. though, Charles had older tires by 9 laps. the odds were stacked against him. and also very impressively, was logan fending off yuki further down the grid.

and lando was still leading by over 10 seconds, actually he was ip to 18.398s. the last time someone won by over 10 seconds that wasnt max was charles in australia in 2022.

lewis hamilton had the fastest lap still as the end of the race came to a close, but it was snatched up from him by lando, who won!

lando two wins!!!!

and as he crossed the line, he said "simply lovely" which is definitely a max phrase.....oh no.....

and he won by over 22 seconds, a whole half a second more than the gap that max had won the season opener with in bahrain. could red bulls period of dominance be coming to an end.......

fernando Alonso definitely thought so. he checked out the back of the mclaren after, just to make sure that there was nothing illegal going on there.

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but! we had again! for the second time! a lando, max, charles podium!

and the cool down room this time. ho boy. it was nothing short of miserable. well, it was for charles, who learned that he had finally almost caught max, just to discover that there was another car 22s in front of max.

both max and charles looked devastated at that news:

aside from that though, charles was positively thrilled with p3, mostly because the car had been such shit. even in all of his post interviews he looked shocked every time he mentioned that the strategy that the team had put forth worked.

max and charles once again through did champagne lando in quite possibly the most comical way.

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and the trophies....well they were comically sized:

unfortunately. no one drank champagne out of them.

i know, i know, i was upset too.

lando did post this absolutely fuck ass selfie with his though:

and charles seat belted his into his jet, just to make sure that he was really p3:

his instagram continued to express his shock, saying "Going home with a trophy was not really expected but I’ll take it. Great race considering the struggles of the weekend. Time to go back home."

also going back home was one fernando alonso. but not without the help of his good buddy, mark webber, who not only aparently drove him to the airport, but also flew with him on his jet back to monaco (along with some others, but oscar was not among them. which disinteresting cause remember mark is oscar's manager and the whole reason why oscar is there so...?). and extra remember, mark webber is a self proclaimed "proud heterosexual" hm.

aside from, well, whatever the hell was going on there. going into the weekend there was a 78 point gap between lando and max. and coming out of the weekend there was only a 70 point gap. the title fight is really actually starting to heat up....

and what's more. mclaren currently now has 404 points in the constructor's championship. red bull has 434. theyre clinging to a 30 point lead here. things are HEATING UP GUYS

and you know what else was heating up? haas! because their payment to uralkali somehow didnt go through and their f1 cars got impounded and unable to leave the netherlands to make the trek to monza.

so. is red bull's period of dominance over? will logan sargeant be replaced? has ferrari finally gotten their shit together? will mick ever get back on the f1 grid? how many more times will james vowels mention courting carlos? WILL HAAS EVER GET TO LEAVE THE NETHERLANDS???

for the answers to those questions (and more!) you will have to tune in next week for the monza gp. and dont worry, this is f1. it will be bonkers.

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#Instagram #not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #sorry this one is a little bit shit it started to fall apart around the race #im trying ok im trying #but i finished this after 1 am and i have work at 9 tomorrow pls have mercy #im pretty sure i had something else to say that i now cant remember so oh well #f1 #zandvoort 2024

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callmearcturus · 3 years ago

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(u can answer on priv if you want to) god, arc, do you have like a general writing server that you're in or, better, that you started, bc i do desperately want to start on this longfic ive been meaning to get to for a horrendously long time but it's daunting as fuck and i could use a sounding board of other writers who are struggling to write longfic. also if u have any tips u can point me towards not giving up on the fic after typing out 50 words of utter crap and closing the document that'd be swell bc no one i know rn is writing like you

Unfortunately, no, I only have my Whomstve server that I write in, not a general one. I started a general one at this point YEARS ago but it just never took off. It's sadly just easier to shoot the shit regarding fannish stuff than original work.

I could tell you how I do it, at least? In every server I run, I tend to create a "jam channel" which is for writing jams. They're the writer's equivalent to an artist livestream. I start working on a chapter and when I finish a good chunk, I put it in the channel, and people will hit me with encouraging emojis or scream a bit. It's a good way to get that instant dopamine hit of Reaction, and also to figure out what parts of the story are working and what ones are not. This lets me redirect and tweak things before the final posting.

For me, the way I manage to, uh, do this, is that... for one, my brain is fucking broken so I can just sit down and make words happen to such a degree I have literally injured myself in the past doing so. (Not fun!)

But also I approach my writing less like A Book and more like a serialized story. I share things very episodically and encourage the Water Cooler Talk, both by engaging with readers when they poke me and also just in the actual way the story is told. I try to ensure every chapter/part/segment has at least two or three things that are worth discussion, and I lean heavily on structuring my writing around the audience slowly uncovering a mystery of some kind.

This is probably why I write a lot of fantasy and weird alien stuff, it lets me gatekeep the knowledge the reader has and organically teach them bit by bit about the story's rules and world. And I have gotten a lot of feedback regarding that as an appealing part of my style.

So I guess my advice is to make a story something that is uncovered piece by piece by the reader and the reader's best proxy character. It's good when the character fucks up due to a piece of knowledge they lacked, it's good when they get questions answered and re-answered with evolving context. And make everything just soap opera-y enough that folks look forward to new updates like a new episode of a show they like. 8)

That all sounds vaguely calculating but to be clear: this is literally what I enjoy about writing. Crafting this kind of story and creating a dialogue between my story and the audience is fun to me. 8)

If you are not a "feedback will speed up my writing output" then, uh, idk! But this is what works for me!

#talking about writing #my whomstve server has two channels for general jams #and two Arc Containment Zones just for me to use #bc otherwise I would hog the jam channels

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peachscribe · 3 years ago

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peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

#book recs #book rec #book rec list #grasshopper jungle #burn #as meat loves salt #this savage song #monsters of verity #white is for witching #these violent delights #the antiques #fierce fairytales #just like my winter list i did write ever review immediately after finishing the book and i think.#i think here you can really tell what my immediate reactions were based on how the review is written fbfjfjd

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years ago

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bird primary (system in progress) + burnt badger secondary (really loud bird model)

Howdy! I’m still trying to figure out my own houses and was wondering if you could provide some insight. I haven’t exactly mastered the system so I don’t know how accurate/inaccurate my claims are, so bear with me.

The “why”/Primary: I am extremely motivated by knowledge. I want to know things, not just out of intrinsic curiosity (though that does play a role), but because knowing why things work helps me protect myself more effectively.

One of the trickiest things about this system is separating motivation from method. Because yeah, they are related, but they're also really different. Like this example: "I protect myself by learning things." That's a how, that's secondary stuff. (Bird secondary of course.)

A recent example is this— a group of my former friends all ditched me because I discussed a heavily stigmatized mental disorder that I show symptoms of. And my first response (other than bawling) was to ask them why. And when I got the answer, I was hurt, but I understood. I don’t say this for you to show me pity, but rather because it illustrates this model in action.

This is a really interesting example. Your friends acted in a way that emotionally hurt you. First you processed your feelings (which you talk about in a dismissive, lighthearted, jokey way) then you asked them for more information... which hurt you, but also made you more secure. This is very Bird primary. You feel feelings, but they're whatever. What actually bothers you is not having the data.

(I suspect you're going to end up being a Double Bird. And Double Birds are unique in that their morality and problem-solving are SO interconnected, that they think I'm crazy for saying that for most people, they are in fact two very different things.)

When I got the why and processed my emotions, I cut off ties and realized that their severe judgy-ness had hindered my life for 2 years. And now that I know the “why”, I won’t bring up said disorder again until I know it’s safe. It might never be, but I still have hope.

You updated your system, and you cut away the parts that aren't serving you anymore. Bird primary.

Morally-speaking, I am very sensitive to the views of others around me.

External primary.

I’m not proud of this. In fact, it’s a detriment.

A lot of Birds feel this way. It's a big part of why they tend to like Lion primaries. Lions are much more able to dismiss things with "sounds like that's a them problem."

I won’t go into details, but my parents are… bad. Not wholly, but they are bad. I’ve tried for years, and still do, to escape their opinions because I know it’ll influence mine.

Parents are sticky. They do that. I've been a happily UnBurnt Lion primary for a while now... but I still sometimes hear that voice in my head that sounds like my mother.

And, much like them, I tend to get over-passionate in what I stand for. Unlike them, I’m willing to change if evidence supports this change. I always, however, carry the burden of my former hatred. I always feel guilt over my old beliefs. Even if I’ve changed, the pain I’ve done can never be reversed. And this guilt eats me alive, this shame of being fundamentally wrong.

Okay. You got really emotional on me really quickly here. This could mean a couple things. Your parents sound like fairly toxic Idealists, either Exploded Lions or Exploded Birds (I'm sort of leaning Lion due to the more emotion-heavy words like "passion" and "hatred.") Birds can feel bad, feel guilt, feel shame when looking back at an older version of themselves that they now consider morally repugnant. (Birds are human.) Idealists struggle with the angst of worrying that they are fundamentally wrong about the world. So you could be a guilty Bird, especially if your emotions feel wrong or unhelpful somehow. But you could also be a very Burnt Lion modeling Bird - because Bird seems safer, and you don't want to be a Lion the way your parents are.

When the friend-event happened, I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had once again fucked myself over because of my passion and sureness in what I have.

"I thought I was wrong because I was acting like an Exploded Lion primary." Yeah, I'm thinking there's some sort of outside influence here that needs to be unpacked.

It took a lot of convincing and evidence for me to see that they were the assholes (albeit I wasn’t pure either— I was their friend, after all).

I'm definitely leaning Bird for you. A bird surrounded by Lions maybe, who sometimes uses Lion terminology. But Bird.

I am a planner and system-lover at heart. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just part of me.

What's with all this negative language? Being a planner and a system-lover is a wonderful thing to be. There's some Burning here.

The caveat— I have autism, so I’m not sure if it’s due to that or not. Hence the shortness of this section. Take it as you will, regardless of if it’s evidence or not.

I have autism and I'm a Lion Badger. People are different. The only real pattern I've observed is the way nerodivergent people disproportionately build Bird secondaries as coping strategies.

Honesty is maybe not the best policy, it’s still an admirable one. I wish, frankly, that my moral system was more honest. I feel like I have no set morals. That it all comes from elsewhere. Lion primaries have this set, intrinsic morality that I envy. My friend is a lion primary, and while my views have radically changed, hers haven’t inched. She’s always been honest about herself and what she holds true.

I'm doubling down on Bird primary for you. This is the perspective of a Bird looking in on a Lion. Lion morality isn't set or intrinsic - it's built, and it changes, but it builds and changes differently than a Bird's does (more slowly, usually). But there really is a pattern of Birds seeing it as more moral/easier/better.

And I’m still trying to figure out what “truth” means to me. I mean, yes, I’m a dry and blunt asshole, but that’s not really the same as gut morality. Internal honesty is what I want, and external honesty is what I have to some extent.

It sounds that you are going though a lot of very intense shifts in your life right now. You've got a diagnosis that has you questioning your place in the world. You've followed your parent's system all you life, and are now deciding that you don't want that. But now comes deciding what you do want, and that's a lot harder (especially for a Bird, who has to build it from the ground up.) You like the way Lions do things, but Lion primaries do not feel accessible.

I’m very clear with who I like. I can admit their faults, and even get annoyed or angry at them, but not even betrayal can stop me from loving them. I’d compare myself to the Twelfth Doctor from “Doctor Who” and Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders in that regard.

So maybe you are building a system with very Snake values.

Loyalty is one of my weaknesses. I get overly-attached to people, and so if/when they leave me, it shatters my world. But my brand of loyalty is mostly to people, not philosophical ideas.

... but you're not *really* comfortable with Snake either, if you consider it to be a "weakness."

I would consider myself somewhat philosophical (well, as much as a fucking teenager can be)

Teenagers are *extremely* philosophical, stop being so down on yourself.

but I can be somewhat vague in my beliefs.

Because you're still building them, give yourself a *second.*

If I were to rate the likelihood of what primary I think I am, it’s something like this:

Bird: 9/10 probability (maybe burned)

Snake: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability (maybe burned)

Lion: 2/10 probability

What is it with Birds and numbered lists?

The “how”: I feel like I change in order to fit in. I mean, to some extent, we all do, but it’s far more drastic for me. With the lion primary friend, I act as a “Jason Todd” to their Batman. I challenge them, egg them on, crack jokes and become violently passionate and act like a nerd, and she simply watches, usually adding her own comments but mostly sitting on the sidelines by choice. We also joke that I’m the Ferris Bueller to their Cameron Frye. But, with another friend, I’m a parent figure. I listen most of the time, and sometimes jump in with creative ideas and we talk for hours about it.

I'm guessing Actor Bird, both because you can specifically list out the qualities that you "act" out. And because you're invoking and basing your performance off specific [fictional] characters. Which is a HUGE Actor Bird thing.

I go with the flow of a given situation as best as I can (with the added caveat of being autistic, because that does affect how well I can read a room). However, that’s where the adaptation ends.

Huh. I'm hearing Burnt secondary language here. "I'd like to go with the flow and read the room - but I can't, because I'm autistic." You can definitely *learn* how to read a room. Why do you think I'm so interested in (and good at :) personality systems? This is how I learned to use my Courtier Badger. I used to model Bird secondary like crazy, and I kind of don't bother anymore. I don't need the training wheels.

Planning: like I stated before, I’m a planner. I try to learn the most about a situation before jumping in. Sometimes, however, I stall the inevitable and miss my chance, so I jump in and wind up nearly drowning. And this dichotomy repeats. I overcompensate for a lack of knowledge in a situation by micromanaging, or I wind up sitting bored when I’ve already done everything I need to do. And yes, stress and boredom are equally as destructive for me. I try so hard to plan to avoid both of these outcomes, but it only works half the time. So, I guess I’m a bit of a “planster” overall.

I want to learn about a situation... but sometimes I "stall" or "drown" (Burnt language.) But planning also leads to "micromanaging" and "getting bored" (model language.) I think you've got a really loud Bird secondary model... but there might be something else underneath.

Collecting things is fun. Postcards, candles, lighters, crystals, rocks, 1940s hats, knowledge, stories, music, (original) characters, the list goes on. I’m a collector of whatever I can get my hands on. Hell, by this point, I can’t tell what’s my special interest and what I just enjoy (again, autism).

Oh my goodness gracious 'my special interest' and 'what I enjoy' are not two different categories!

But my systems and collections are my coping.

Figured.

I can’t say, though, that they hold any weight outside of emotional release. There’s nothing practical about knowing how they shot The Outsiders movie, or how crows have a flat tail and ravens have two main sections on theirs. All of this knowledge almost feels useless to me. I mean, sure, I’m great at school, but what else? Nothing, it seems like. And being good at school and nothing else makes a person go crazy when they can’t achieve their academic goals. But that’s a bit besides the point— I’m a collector, but I’m unsure how well this really fits into a secondary beyond a model.

Bird secondary model.

I invest in others more than I care to admit.

Oh man, are you a Badger secondary like me?

I genuinely believe in the goodness in humans, no matter how impossible it becomes. Even those who I don’t see any good in aren’t wholly evil. My perception isn’t law.

^ That's primary stuff. Maybe a more Badger-flavored system is going to work better for you than a Snake-flavored one.

But some people trust me: with their secrets, with homework, with relationship issues, with their religious struggles. And I try to help. I might not be good with it, but I do try to help as best I can.

Kinda sounds like a Badger secondary.

I use my planning and my categorizing skills and my knowledge to benefit others. I show up, I do what I need to do, and I don’t usually expect much to come of it. It’s nice when something does, but it’s not expected. And sometimes, these investments into others' lives and grades and relationships do pay off. I make friends. Those friends stick by me, and I trust them. I continue to invest in others, because I am a lover even though I’m cynical.

I think you're a Badger secondary.

And when that trust is broken, like the example in the beginning, I go to people who won’t abandon me to get a second opinion. When I say that I love someone, I mean it. So it hurts when they leave. It always does.

Oh that's your friends leaving hit you so hard. It's not an abstract morality thing at all, it's practical. You're a Badger secondary, and they were your base of support.

I’ll be frank on this— I’m almost entirely sure that I’m not a lion secondary. I’m fiercely efficient and some people see me as a good leader, but that’s it.

Lion and Badger are the two Inspirational secondaries. They're the one who sort of manage to collect armies or families as a side effect of existing.

Even with the leader example, I prefer interpersonal relations or to be alone. I’m not a big fan of group settings.

That's fair. I am also a Badger who really, really likes my own company. Or small groups of interesting people.

If I were to rate the likelihood of what secondary I am, it’s like this:

Bird: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability

Snake: 5/10 probability

Lion: 0/10 probability

Other systems for comparison: I’m aware that MBTI and enneagram are, at worst, pseudo-science, but I still enjoy them regardless. At best, they’re fun self-help tools, and that’s how I try to use them.

MBTI: INTJ (Ni-Te-Fi-Se)

Enneagram: 5w4, tritype 514

Sagittarius sun libra moon cancer rising in astrology

FLEV or LFEV in attitudinal psyche

sx/sp (sexual and self-preservation) in instinctual variants

MBTI, Enneagram, and astrology are all fun in their own ways. (I don't actually know the last two!) And I can talk about them on their own terms. But this system was the best, and the most useful, when I went looking for words to describe myself.

I hope this is enough information, and thank you again if you do happen to do this! If you don’t, that’s totally okay. Have a good day!

Thank you for writing in. That was a journey! Thanks @thesketchykid for the submission.

#sortinghatchats #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird badger #birdpri #badgersec #bird secondary model #badger secondary vs bird secondary #autism stuff

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pixilator · 2 years ago

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Update : August 16th, 2022

Hello! This is the first true update to the story of Amaranth. While there have obviously been other updates, this is the first one I've actually posted online. So if I write this weirdly or whatever, bear with me, I'm trying my best. ^^;

A disclaimer first though, please read!

I'm very dedicated to this story, and as I write this journal there is very little demand -- four, maybe five people actually want to see its completion. But I should take into account the future. In the off-chance that somehow this little daydream in a bottle gains traction and someone reads this, sincere greetings from the past!

Progress at this time is slow, and I can't say that the story will ever be finished -- this was conjured in my very early teen years, and is now a high-school passion project running primarily upon pixie dust, hopes, and dreams, and has been for the past few years.

I have since graduated, so I can focus more on the story now! -- however, I still have work to do and a life to lead -- updates will be sporadic, and I can't give a proper estimation of when it'll be done.

And while I know nobody reads this right now, I'd like to tell future readers to please be patient with me, I'm only one person and even though I take an active approach to creating my story, I am highly prone to lack of ideas and burnout.

The story is character-driven, not plot-driven. If you're looking for a plot driven story, I think you've ended up in the wrong place in time!

We won't be focusing on the plot-powers-that-be, really. Moreso on the relationships of the characters and how they personally react to the happenings. The plot will have some [?] precedent as it does bring the whole team together, but only Mayhem is truly the most important in that regard. The other characters have a few handprints in it but the main plot is mostly Mayhem's pet journey, she is the catalyst and protagonist anyway. The story at this time is an action-adventure/mystery, and may be prone to a genre switch by the time it is finalized. Don't take anything at this stage as gospel! Almost everything here is subject to change! As of now I'm unsure whether or not I should make it for young teens, teens, young adults, or simply adults. There are a few topics of maturity I want to tackle, but I don't know what audience they would be suited for or what content I'm allowed to host for those specific audiences.

The topics of maturity I do include in my story I don't really want to be forced out in the open except during the more serious portions, so most of the story will likely be innocent, light-hearted and comedic until that one strange tonal change. Hopefully, I won't have to dive too deep into the Super Gritty Stuff™, but even that may be subject to change. I dunno.

But, hey, then again, one of the characters is a murderess, and her name is literally Mayhem. Should it be any real surprise I'm having trouble deciding an audience to cater it to?

Current stage...

DEVELOPMENT:

>Character development at 70%. Most of the characters are seemingly 3 dimensional now.

>Artwork development at 50%. Found an artstyle and certain techniques, but am unsure as to whether or not it'll be the final pick. May be subject to change, depending.

>Worldbuilding at 40%.

ACTUAL DEVELOPMENT:

>Side plots ideas at 30%. This will be the meat of the story, I suppose. This contains all the important character stuff.

>Main plot idea at 100%. This is the skeleton of the story. I have the perfect plot for the story and its genre, and it ties in with many other parts! But it's only the idea, so...

MISCELLANEOUS WORRIES:

>Still have to figure out where to host the comic.

>Still have to draw it.

>Still have to write the full play.

>Still have to figure out how I'll break the story up into chunks so I can work easier.

>Still have to make a schedule of sorts.

>Advertising: Currently have 2 half-finished pictures of Hestia and Pepper. Will have to draw Mayhem too. Have found a logo befitting the genre. Need to draw cover.

>Sheets: Currently have drawn Mayhem's character sheet, Hestia's character sheet, and Pepper's character sheet.

Thus ends the tirade.

----

Thank you for reading this, I salute you if you've gotten this far!

Pixilator

#amaranth comic #amaranth update #writers on tumblr #devblog #comicblog #wall of text #long post #very long post #image heavy #yapping #yapping about my characters #yapping about my story

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pixelwisp-archive · 4 years ago

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Itadakimasu!! | Part 3: Fly, Little Bird (Written Chapter)

word count: 1.2k

Tendou never thought himself to be a selfless person. He didn't really consider himself a selfish person either, necessarily, but he promised himself a long time ago that he wasn't going to set aside his own dreams for the comfort of someone else. His ambition always came first, and the endgame had always been Paris. He supposed, in a way, that had never changed - so why was there a familiar pool of guilt settling at the pit of his stomach?

The corner of his lips tugged downward at the slight, involuntary tremor that rippled through his hands - the ivory envelope with gold trim, 'La Maison du Chocolat' written in a delicate golden font across its center clutched in between them. You knew about Paris - about his dreams, his ambitions - and not once have you given him any reason to doubt that you would regard this news in any way other than with a painfully large grin and arms spread impossibly wide, pride radiating off you like a sunbeam. So why...guilty. Thoughts wandered to the pickle jar. The drunken nights on the balcony of your tiny apartment; stupid, cheesy French music playing on one of your phones as the two of you laughed and talked about what Paris would mean for the both of you. Tendou knew exactly what to say every time, but when the conversation trailed back to you, you would grin, sometimes laugh, but your answer was always the same - 'I'll figure it out when I get there. I don't really care as long as I'm with you'.

Ah. There it was.

Paris was his dream. Not yours.

'I'll follow you anywhere, Ten.’

Even if it wasn't what you wanted.

He was neither a selfless nor selfish person, but he knew you, and you were as selfless as they came. You would give up everything you’ve worked so hard for to follow him if he asked, completely setting aside your own whims to entertain his. Tendou shoved the envelope into his bag and hurried up the stairs to your apartment, trying desperately to will away the unwanted feeling that gnawed at him as he flashed you his usual Cheshire grin.

In 12 months, he would be leaving for Paris to begin a paid apprenticeship with one of the most famous Parisian Chocolate Boutiques, working directly under the famous Sculptor and Chocolatier Patrick Roger himself - and you would not be going with him.

There wasn’t any way to break that news to you now, not when you were still so unwilling to stand on your own. He knew he needed to nudge you out of the nest the two of you built, reminding you of your independence, and hopefully, the will to chase your own dreams. He grabbed the pickle jar from under the sink, took a little extra from his own savings, and began the search to find you a new nest, one with more room for you to finally learn to fly.

“I’m sorry, you what?” Your body twisted toward him at the news, eyes bulging out of your skull.

“I bought a new location. In Osaka! Trendy neighborhood, good lighting, pretty cheap actually-”

“When?! How?! With what-” your voice died in your throat as you picked yourself off the floor and scrambled to the kitchen. You ripped open the cabinet underneath the sink and fished around, a grunt of victory leaving you as you felt your fingers clasp around the familiar lid. Successfully retrieving the pickle jar from the depths of the cabinet, the faint glow of the kitchen light brought the full makeshift bank into view, and you couldn’t help but gawk when you saw its emptiness.

“Tendou, why...” Your voice trailed off as your brain began to flood with worry. What made him decide to just buy a new location without talking to you first? It’s not like you would have said no. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of betrayal at the notion that he didn’t value your opinion as a business partner. Feet pattered against the linoleum as he rushed to stand in front of you, and your lifted your eyes to lock onto his own. The usual mirth that accompanied his features was ever present, but you knew him well enough to see the tiny sheen of something else that rippled over his features. Guilt?

“Paradis, it’s nothing against you, I promise. I just...I wanted it to be a surprise,” he explained, crouching down so he could maintain an even eye level with you. “I forgot you’re not a huge fan of them.” Your lack of response was probably beginning to gnaw at him, you thought, but whenever you tried to come up with something to say, it fizzled before it could reach your tongue.

“I saw your notebook, Y/n,” he mumbled. “You have so many plans for Paradis, and they’re all amazing! This new place has all the room to make your ideas on the page come to life. You could have a dining area, expand the menu, try new crazy things - this location can be your passion project; your baby.”

Spontaneity wasn’t a new trait for Tendou. There were days where he would come home, tell you to collect your things, and wisk you away on a road trip for two days with no destination in mind, no other notice except a quick text to the team to take care of the shop while you two were away. Generally, you didn’t mind his antics, but this seemed next level, and you couldn’t ignore the feeling that it came with ulterior motives.

Something else nagged at the back of your mind too - if you were going to Osaka, was Tendou coming with you? Was he staying here? What about the apartment? There’s no way he can keep it up himself. How did he get the money for a location in Osaka of all places-

Your brain shut down the moment Tendou’s finger poked in between your eyebrows.

“Paradis, you’re gonna get wrinkles. I already took care of everything, so ask me whatever you wanna know.” You sat on his words for a moment, rifling through the growing number of questions to deem which one most important.

“Are you coming with me?” His silence was loud enough to answer for him, and you looked down. You haven’t done any of this on your own before. You’ve always had someone’s arm held out to you to hang onto whenever life tried to rear its ugly head and swallow you.

“I won’t be able to do it all myself, Ten.” Tendou frowned. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Y/n. You can always call me if you end up stuck. Also,” he pulled out his phone as if to confirm his next words. “Kuguri has been wanting to move out of Tokyo for a fat minute now. He said he’s totally down to go with you.”

The news of Kuguri accompanying you lifted a huge amount of pressure off you. At least you weren’t going up there alone. Your thoughts drifted to the potential Osaka had just granted you; A new opportunity, a blank slate for your ideas to come to life. You could finally try things you’ve always wanted to with this new location. The worry that plagued you began to dissipate, excitement taking over as you brought your eyes to meet Tendou’s once more.

“When are we supposed to leave?” Tendou grins, and places his hand over the one you had resting on top of the pickle jar.

“Three weeks.”

Prev | Masterlist | Next

Fun facts -

I promise this is an Osamu x reader lmao just give it time

For Tendou’s apprenticeship, I combined two popular Parisian Chocolate companies: Patrick Roger, who’s style just seems so Avant Garde and very Tendou energy, and decided to make him the head of the popular chocolate boutique La Maison du Chocolat, solely because I thought the name was very ~French~ and ~Fancy~ lol.

I know nothing of Chocolate or France tbh - I got my info from this Vogue Article that you can read here.

A/N: So sorry for the wait with Chapter three!! I was kind of struggling with which route would best keep the plot rolling the way I want it to. I hope you guys don’t mind that this chapter is entirely written, next chapter will def have more social media caps! As always, thank you so much for reading, feel free to shoot me an ask and engage or ask to be added to the Taglist!!

ps: This wasn’t beta read so pls ignore the bad bits lmaofnjkasndfaksj

Taglist -

@larkspyrr @oikawaandkuroostan @fucktheworlddude @doctorspencereid @keiarma @cherriechurros @halesandy

I heard you guys aren’t getting tagged with updates and I’m p sure its because I’m st00pid so if this doesn’t work I’ll reblog and tag again! Sorry if you guys get notified multiple times lmao

#Itadakimasu!!#osamu smau #haikyuu smau #osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #osamu miya smau #hq!! smau

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lesbian-vmin · 4 years ago

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Ask Roundup #1 - Vmin

Hey, guys! I promised to be here at least once this weekend and answer some asks. As I’ve been terribly busy with work, a lot has built up in the in box. With over 200 asks to get to, I decided it would be better to take an idea from romanticdrift and do an ask roundup and sort of answer what I have so far. No, I won’t answer all 200 in this post because a lot are very similar. But I’ll be summarizing asks and clearing out my inbox. Many of these are paraphrased, but keeping the original context. (vmin focus only)

Discussed in here

The importance of vmin friendship

4 o’clock

Chim’s reaction to Tae calling during kimbap live

No vmin live

Sad Tae / Vmin tension

Vmin friendzoning

I was going to add more asks to the mix, but this got really long with just the few that I answered. I also tried to do a mix of soft vmin and people wanting me to expand on some idea of vmin not being close or the “friendzone” thing.

(BELOW THE CUT)

anonymous asked:

Part of me wishes that vmin was real. Another part of me doesn’t want them to be. Don’t get me wrong, I ship them and don’t have a problem with the idea of them being gay and in love. But somehow I really like the idea of them being best friends who just really care deeply about each other. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense to me, honestly. I often talk about the value of friendship on this blog and how friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. If vmin have the close bond they do with each other, and it’s totally platonic, it sort of proves that there are friendships out there that have connections just as deep as romantic love.

This is one of the reasons I don’t push the “romantic vmin” agenda too hard. Because their friendship is perfect and ideal if that’s all it is. It really puts the statement “something deeper than friendship” to shame. Because what’s deeper than friendship? In fact, a romance with someone you can’t also consider your best friend doesn’t seem deep at all. It’s almost like “friendship” is what make romantic relationships deep. You know what I mean? You just won’t have the same connection with a romantic partner if you’re not also friends with them. So it’s silly to me how friendships are often devalued.

Regardless of what type of relationship vmin have, I think it’s okay for them to be the model of the type of relationship someone else would want to have. Whether it be with a friend or an s/o. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a romantic relationship that matches someone else’s friendship. And, if you don’t think vmin is real but still relate to them as “couple goals” because that’s the kind of relationship you want, then that’s fine. That’s actually sort of the kind of shipper that I am.

someone asked:

Tae started crying at the end of 4 o’clock during their performance. But if it’s just about the dumpling fight, why would he cry? Am I delulu? Was the fight really that intense?

someone else said:

Chim was smiling and stuff during the practice of 4 o’clock. So I think he had to have known that the song was about him?

These asks were from an anonymous person, but they were two separate asks. So I wanted to specify them as two separate asks in this post, but answer them together.

First things first. Let’s get a few links in here that you can reference to understand my answer a little better if you don’t know the whole story.

Okay. Let’s talk about Tae crying during the performance. I can’t actually say that he really cried, but he did seem to get emotional at the end. It’s a song that’s about a fight that is a big staple in their friendship. I think it’s pretty obvious that there’s more to the dumpling incident that they’re not telling us. I don’t think that’s the first time they would have had such an argument. They probably argue about whether to eat pizza or burgers all the time, and whether they should have dinner first and then watch a movie or watch a movie and then eat dinner.

Just the fact that Chim stated that he had to go and have a drink with Syub after the fight tells us that there was more to the incident than they are telling us. You don’t go and drink yourself drunk because you and your best friend can’t agree on whether to eat dumplings before or after practice.

I think that incident is one of the building blocks of their friendship. I think that it happened at a time they were going through a lot of changes. We know that Chim tends to be pretty possessive, and this was at a time that Tae started having his own schedule because of Hwarang. I think there were a lot of sudden changes to things, and that stressed them out and put some strain on their friendship. And it’s possible that’s entirely wrong.

Either way. It’s pretty clear there’s more to it than dumplings. But we can’t begin to analyze and figure out what it is and expect to be remotely accurate. And quite frankly, no matter how curious any of us may be, it’s none of our business. If they wanted us to know the “obviously more to the story” part of the story, they’d tell us.

And now. I guess I could have handles the two asks separately. But anyway. I’ve already talked about how I think Chim did already know that 4 o’clock was about that incident. So check the interview analysis I linked above for my discussion on that topic. I’m going to be going through my analyses soon and updating them, but that answer will do for now.

anonymous asked

You talked about Tae calling Chim on his live but what your thoughts about Tae caling during Ji / kook live. Chim was so unprepared and Kook was laughing about Tae calling and I guess Chim’s reaction to it. Chim didn’t seem to be in the flirting mood. I just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

I believe I have talked about this before somewhere, but I’m not entirely sure. So the live you are referring to is the kimbap making one (x). So, I’m going to reference the Mandago Incident in this answer, and I did an analysis on this live before. I’m going to link to the analysis I made. A link to the last mandago live can be found in that analysis. (x)

During the last mandago that we got, I really got the feeling that Chim wanted to do a live with Tae, but Tae didn’t want to join him. We have Chim being all sour and pouty and even down right petty in that last live, and I sort of got the same vibes from his behavior when Tae called during the kimbap live.

We know that Chim keeps saying he want to do a vlive with Tae, but it never happens. What the real story behind their lack of a live together is, we may never know.

I have a theory about this one, but it is just a theory. It’s probably not even remotely true, and there are thousands of other possibilities than what I’m about to say in regards to this live.

I think that it’s possible that the Ji / kook kimbap making live was supposed to be a vmin kimbap making live. Or vmin / kook, but I’m leaning further away from that option for this analysis to make a little more sense in relation to the mandago one (which I compare it to).

This analysis is assuming (1) that the kimbap making was supposed to be Chim’s live originally (2) he originally invited Tae to do the live with him (3) Tae refused (4) Chim wanted to do the live, but not alone (5) He asked Kook (6) Kook accepted, and they did the live together.

That’s a lot of assumptions to make for a logical analysis, but it’s seriously the vibe I got from Tae’s phone call.

Let’s look at the key points from the mandago live:

(1) Chim wanted to do Mandago (2) He wanted to do with Tae because it’s their thing (3) Tae didn’t want to come (4) Chim invited Kook instead (5) Kook came

After Kook joined the Mandago live, it didn’t take long before Tae joined as well. As stated in my analysis, you could make the argument that he wanted to eat as well (because they had food), but he ended up bringing his own food. He didn’t have to join the live to eat if he already had food on his own. I think he was upset because Chim was doing “mandago” without him. Even thought it ended up not really being a mandago live and more of Eat Jin.

Chim’s behavior in both lives really seems similar to me. So I sort of got the feeling that Tae was originally supposed to be part of the live but refused. Then when he saw that Chim was with Kook instead, he got upset. He called Chim, and Chim got upset. A “if you wanted to be in the live, why didn’t you just do it” sort of upset. Like, if Tae didn’t want to do the live with him, why is he calling during the live? Knowing they’re live? You get what I’m saying.

And, no. I’m not saying this is a Ji / kook vs vmin thing. And I’m not even trying to imply any sort of unhealthy level of jealousy here. I just think (if this theory is remotely correct) it shows how Chim is being real with us. He’s not just pulling our leg and saying that he wants to do a live with Tae but he really doesn’t and it’ll never happen. I think, again - if my theory is remotely correct, this shows how Tae doesn’t want to do a solo vmin live with Chim. Even if this theory is correct, it’s possible that Tae would have called regardless if Kook was there or not. Because, based on the theory, he was initially invited, but he didn’t want to be there in person. Alone. With Chim. For whatever reason.

Again, relating it to my theory, I think Tae either called because (1) If Kook was going to be there, he would have joined. Because that would have been a third person, keeping it from being him and Chim alone. So when he saw Kook there, he wanted to make himself part of it somehow. Or (2) He would have called even if it was just Chim because he’s more okay with talking on the phone than being there in person.

I might do an actual analysis of the kimbap live, but we’ll see. It’s easier to talk about a theory here than to actually analyze because there’s not a lot to go off of without making assumptions.

related to this, anonymous asked:

Why do you think vmin won’t do a vlive together?

With some other saying that them not doing so makes it hard for us to see that they are really friends.

So, my idea on why they won’t do a vlive together is a little different than what I’ve read around. I think the reason it doesn’t happen is simply because they don’t want to, but not for any particular reason other than taking the time to do it. I’m going to explain.

We can make the argument that they are comfortable with each other and don’t want to have to be too careful. But I think that’s a copout for thinking a little deeper about it and making it more realistic. Yeah, it’s possible that they’ll have to watch themselves while they’re live, but what makes that different than any of the other members?

Ji / kook can have a live together, look into each other’s eyes, tease each other, and all kinds of things during vlive, so...why is the case different for them than with vmin? I don’t really think that them having to “watch it” has anything to do with them not doing a live together. It’s not like they’re really going to “forget about the camera” and accidentally make out or something. Even if they are in a relationship. They wouldn’t do that.

My honest belief, until I’m given reason to believe otherwise, is because they simply don’t want to. Vlives are often done from the studio or some other place where they work (if not hotel rooms). We don’t get random vlives of them living day-to-day life or going to Lotte World. So this means that most vlives we get are planned for work, or done during down time from work. But it’s always related to work somehow.

I really think that Tae and Chim are best friends and enjoy spending time with each other the same way any other friends do. When they are together, that’s their time, and they probably don’t want to share it with us. Because they share a lot of things with us, and I’m sure they have things (like their friendship or time together) that they want to keep for themselves. Despite Chim acting like the more private one, yet wanting to do a vlive with Tae, I think this is why Tae refuses. Because, although he doesn’t seem to be shy about expressing his love for Chim, he wants to keep their private time private as well.

And that’s all I think it is. And, honestly, if that’s the case, we can relish in the fact that we don’t get vmin lives. Even if getting one would be nice. It’s nicer to know that they want to keep their private time private because their friendship is important to them and they don’t want to make it about us. And. Who knows? Maybe the mandago thing and the dumpling incident all have a part to play in this. Because maybe the publicity put on their friendship at the time is what caused those kinds of strains to happen. And to avoid something like that again, maybe that’s why they won’t go live.

But. I think it’s possible we’ll get one eventually. I haven’t given up yet.

anonymous said:

HI. I would just like to remind your readers about 2020 Festa: Unit Interview @12:31 VMIN was asked: What do you want to say to each other? Tae somehow refused to answer and just said: "WE ALWAYS SAY IT TO EACH OTHER." There's NO NEED to say what they feel for each other openly. No explanations whatsoever. As Chim said in Bon Voyage 2, not us, not even the members can fully understand what they feel about each other.

Remember what I said about no theory being good enough to be truth behind vmin? This anon gets it.

a mix of asks relates to

I don’t know why people keep saying Tae is sad or that vmin are fighting. They are fine. Nothing’s wrong.

I don’t know what’s more harmful. Assuming someone is sad all the time. Or assuming they’re fine all the time.

There are times when Tae is obviously down, and he shows it. I think he doesn’t try so hard to put on a fake happy face for us, and I think that’s wonderful. It’s okay not to be okay, and we really don’t have a lot of icons out there that let us know that. They may tweet and talk about mental health and the importance of it. But celebrities that actually show their mental status or even talk about their own level of happiness is far and few between. People think they’re happy all the time, and those that do say they’re not often get attacked because “why wouldn’t they be happy? They have fame, money, and everything?”

If you don’t see that Tae might be sad at a particular moment, or don’t think that vmin has a moment of tension, I guess that’s fine. But to say that it never happens is obviously false. Everyone gets sad sometimes, and everyone has tension with their closest friends.

That being said, those who go overboard and act like Tae is never happy or that vmin hate each other...yeah. That’s a bit much and needs to stop. Tae’s emotions are dynamic, and vmin love each other.

another mix of asks relates to

Do you think vmin are intentionally trying to friendzone themselves because they don’t want us to get suspicious? Or do you think they want us to know that they are only friends and shipping makes them uncomfortable?

Friendzone what? Like. What?

Regardless of what Tae and Chim are together, they are still best friends. The one thing that we confirm about their relationship is indeed that.

I really don’t think they ever say “he’s my best friend” in a “no-homo” kind of way, and that’s sort of what both scenarios presume. Two men can call each other “best friends” without having an implied “no-homo” label onto it.

And let me talk about this “no-homo” thing, okay? I’m not sure how many lgbt people are asking this question, but from my own lgbt perspective “no-homo” was always a little offensive to me. Like, why can’t you just give your bro a hug? Or why can’t you just say “I love you” to a friend? Are we really to the point where people have to say “no-homo” because they don’t want to give someone the wrong idea?

Honestly, my best straight male friend hugs me and tells me he loves me all the time, and he sometimes says “no-hetero” when he does it. And I love him to bits and pieces in a completely no-hetero kind of way because he started the joke because he realized how offensive the other statement was. At least, how much it bothered me regardless of how any other lgbt people felt about it.

Anyway. My point is, regardless of what kind of relationship vmin have together, I’m sure they say “he’s my best friend” because they are best friends. Regardless of any other labels they could have, they are best friends, and that’s what they want to let us know. I don’t think it has anything to do with dumbass “friendzoning” or “no-homo” shit. I don’t think they have some ulterior motive by simply stating that they are best friends.

And. Honestly. I if I asked my sister who her best friend is? She’d say her husband (or me lmao). If I asked my best friend who her best friend is? She’d say her husband (or me lmao). If I asked my straight male best friend? He’d say his wife (or me lmao). So. Again. My point is. Your significant other can be your best friend, and referring to them as such doesn’t mean you are friendzoning them.

It doesn’t mean that vmin is a real couple. It doesn’t mean that they’re not a real couple. It just means that, if they are, they’re obviously not going around introducing each other or talking about each other as boyfriends.

#vmin analysis #ask roundup #theory

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nachotrash · 3 years ago

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ANOTHER EDITION OF INCORRECT QUOTES

ft: @catchmewiddershins @paradise-creator @elektrosonix @lilikags @todd-the-phrog and my irl bestie

Lili: I think I'm falling for you.

Anna: Then get up.

Anna: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Pauline: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Wid walks in*

Pauline: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Sara: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.

Wid: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Isamu: Is something burning?

Wid, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Isamu: Wid, the toaster is literally on fire.

Isamu: *seductively takes off glasses*

Isamu: Wow...

Anna: *blushes* Haha... what?

Isamu: You're really fucking blurry.

Anna: Any questions?

Wid: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Anna: Uh, a plan, duh...

Shiyu: Wid, chill, I know it’s weird, but Anna has a point.

Wid:

Wid: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Wid: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Sara!

Sara: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Lili: I'm not that stupid!

Shiyu: Lili, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Lili: ANNA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Isamu: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Isamu: *sees Sara shoving Shiyu into the washing machine while Anna records and Wid watches*

Isamu: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Shiyu: I failed my safety training course today.

Lili: Why, what happened?

Shiyu: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Lili: And?

Shiyu: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Lili: How would you like your coffee?

Wid: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Lili, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Wid: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Shiyu: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Anna: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Sara: I handle our accounting.

(no but this is actually me)

Sara: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Anna: You sleep with a teddybear.

Sara: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Lili: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Anna, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Lili: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Lili: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

Isamu: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

Pauline: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

Lili: W-what’re donuts?

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Anna: A doll.

Isamu: A cinnamon roll.

Lili: A sweetheart.

Pauline:

Pauline: ...stop it.

Pauline: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Wid: Aren't you forgetting something?

Pauline: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Wid's forehead before running out.*

Wid: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Pauline: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Anna: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?

Pauline:

Pauline: I'll go make my bed-

Lili: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Shiyu: Okay-

Anna: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Shiyu, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

Shiyu: That shirt looks great, Sara.

Sara: Thanks.

Shiyu: But I bet it would look even better on Lili's floor.

Lili: Are you hitting on Sara... for me?

Pauline: I dare you-

Lili: Isamu is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Pauline: Why not?

Isamu: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Pauline: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Isamu, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Isamu: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

Lili: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Wid, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Sara, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Wid: Because they have little hands.

Anna: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.

Anna: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Lili: Pros and cons of dating me.

Lili: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Lili: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Shiyu: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.

Pauline: The cow??

Shiyu: What?

Isamu: Pauline, W H Y?

Lili: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Sara: For the dogs.

Wid: Why are your tongues purple?

Isamu, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Shiyu: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Isamu: Is this your plan B?

Lili: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Sara: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Isamu!

Anna: Truth or dare?

Isamu: How many children do you have?

Isamu, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Sara, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Isamu: I failed my safety training course today.

Pauline, watching Isamu and Sara fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

(ok but this is kinda accurate)

Isamu: Do you want some tea?

Pauline: I have an idea.

Wid: When I was a kid, Isamu told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Pauline: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Shiyu: What's wrong with you?

Wid: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Anna, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Anna, holding a rock: Isamu just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Anna: What do you have?

Pauline: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Lili: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Anna: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Pauline: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?

Sara: How stupid do you think I am?!

Pauline: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Lili: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Pauline.

Lili: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Anna: I wanna die.

Shiyu: Are you sure this is safe?

Wid: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Isamu: The time to act is now.

Isamu: Shiyu won’t wake up, what do I do?

Isamu: Why doesn’t Pauline find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Wid: Anna's first detention, I'm so proud.

Pauline: She's the girl of my dreams!

(and now, an only ship edition)

Pauline: So, are you two dating now?

Anna: I didn't drink that much last night.

Anna: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

Shiyu: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Isamu: *sees Anna and Pauline together*

Pauline: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Anna: Well, remember when Lili made a romantic dinner for me?

Isamu: Sara, let’s go!

Anna: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Wid: Is this your plan B?

Shiyu: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Lili: I find it very unseemly of Shiyu to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?

Shiyu: Hey, Pauline? Can I get some dating advice?

Shiyu: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Isamu: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Anna: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

Sara: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Anna: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Shiyu: Isamu kissed me!

Sara: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Lili: *sees Anna and Shiyu together*

*playing twister*

Wid: So, what is Shiyu to you?

Shiyu: Why are your tongues purple?

#incorrect nacho

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deathisanartmetzli · 3 years ago

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Cabin in the Woods || Eilidh & Metzli

TIMING: Current, at night

PARTIES: @BRAINDEACL @DEATHISANARTMETZLI

SUMMARY: Metzli goes on the hunt for some vampires, and Macleod joins in on the fun.

CONTAINS: Domestic abuse, Emotional Abuse, Gore

Despite Metzli’s best efforts to quash any sense of anxiety that built up like a mountain on their chest, the pressure only seemed to build. After the pleasurable moments of distraction, laying in the dirt, surrounded by nature, they wished they could go back to that. Laying there with Eilidh was easy, it felt like it was a grace to not linger like a tragedy in slow motion, or a heartbreak set on pause. They walked next to Eilidh, tracking the scent of the vampires. It started so faint, and within an hour, it had thickened and spread around.

Eloy would inevitably find Metzli, even if they took out the vampires they were attempting to find. They were just prolonging the ending they already played in their head on repeat. Like a video cassette they kept rewinding of a movie that had not even been made yet. But they persisted, and used the martial arts approach to protecting their world. Fear and anger were their self defense as they disregarded the cost of going against their once master. No running, just going forward to protect. Because nothing was more precious. It was priceless. It was their home.

“The scent is overwhelming all around. They must scavenge and frequent this whole area. How do you feel about splitting up? The scent is pretty evenly coated and has been for the last few hundred paces.” Metzli explained and looked towards Eilidh, who was only a foot away. “What do you think?”

The trees watched them transgress in their territory. Gaze always, usually, a comfort for as long as Eilidh could remember. And they had felt as such, only moments prior. In those pleasant pauses. But now their presence felt scrutinizing. Tainted by the tense energy in air, radiating off Metzli. Bouncing off that bark, ricocheting down on Eilidh. She watched them with a hidden caution. Their high nerves concealed with a stoned expression. But every box got its leaks. She saw those tremors in hands, those strained breaths in chest. Soldier set to war. Without a choice but to move forward into certain peril. Eilidh had that choice, but she matched those dreaded steps. Hers tensed with anger and a hunger to rip and shred. Send those sources of anxiety to floor in tattered bits—reduced to confetti. And to sprinkles down her throat.

Eilidh saw those nose twitches. At first light but sent to frenzy as unseen predators grew closer. Her own stayed still—unaware of any approaching danger. Her mouth twitched instead, turned to grin. “Like I said. You go right. I go left.” Eyes went to that chosen destination. Only darkness met them, but mind filled in the blanks. Placed those hidden enemies in sights. Sent her hand a twitch in anticipation. Her chest rumbling in hunger. Her attentions went back to Metzli for a moment. Enough to spare a parting kiss. And to press her hand on their chest. To that concealed gift—necklace with a black pendant. A bit off her thigh providing color. Used as both beacon and reminder. That she’ll always be close, even now, when she turned and raced off into the woods. Before the darkness took her, she shouted behind. “Don’t let ‘em kill you! I’ll be pissed!”

It felt strange to receive a tender kiss from someone who used so much force, so much passion. Eilidh had given them a gift, one they were told to keep on in case of any danger. James, the ghost bound to her, who seemed antsy when they presented red eyes and fangs, he would be their walkie talkie of sorts. A piece of her attached to them so he could aid them in their search. “No promises!” Metzli responded just as loudly, and with as much light energy as they could muster. Eilidh faded into the trees, and they watched for a few moments before they turned around and continued down their chosen path. Blood and death overflowed from every tree, meaning that the clan members had been around long enough to hunt several times. That didn’t sit right with them in the slightest.

“So how long have you been, uh, dead? I think I’m going on 110 years or so. Kinda lost track.” Metzli asked awkwardly, not knowing how to talk to someone who they didn’t know and seemed to get nervous at any signs of their vampirism.

James watched Eilidh disappear. Despite the lack of visual, he knew where she journeyed. Not a feeling or a thought. But something even deeper. Like he was a passenger in her mind. His attentions shifted and felt that knowing grow quiet but not disappear. Eyes went to one more tangible, to the one called Metzli. He knew nothing but stories. But the way Eilidh described them, the way her eyes lit up. It was in the way when she found others with that ‘touch of the wild’ as she so called it. And it made him on edge. While he lacked any sort of flesh and blood the vampire could attack, he tensed. For his body remembered, despite his true one having rotted to nothing long ago. And he tried to bury this concern, like that old body. But Metzli would not let the thought of death escape him. There was a following silence as he gawked at them. “Um. That’s not really a conversational topic I start with…” His arms crossed against his chest, as if that incorporeal barrier could do anything.

Face grew dark and tense as leaves and twigs crunched, marking every step they took. There was no avoiding it, but it made them flinch every time. Giving away their position would prove fatal, but the area was chosen for that reason. Keen hearing was not only their ally, but their enemy too. Metzli trudged on for about twenty minutes, following tracks and carcasses that grew in number. Meaning, they were getting closer. Their phone vibrated with notifications, and they removed it from their pocket to see a few messages. Feet continued to move while they were distracted by the screen and James’ incoming answer. “Sorry. I’m not good at conversation starters. I figured it was fine, you know? Death, and me being a vampire. I mean, vampires are vicious, but you like Milo and he attacked our friend Bex the other day. But like she’s fine and—” They gave an update until their peripherals caught sight of an anomaly. A cabin. “Que suerte...”

James wanted to leave. Not that Eilidh was particularly better in regard to source of his anxieties. But she was a monster he knew well—knew how to talk to. And had grown to care for, despite his better judgement. And he had grown to care for Milo as well with a hope he could escape that nature. Young and new with the thought of humanity still fresh on his mind. But the news broke that illusion. Not immediately, only a crack at first. Denial trying to keep the wall up. Mind went blank. Then it was all too much. “What… what? No. He- No he didn’t.” He stammered, something of a laugh on his lips though he felt no amusement. Mouth couldn’t form words just as mind couldn’t form thoughts. Sailboat lost to a raging sea. Trying to steer clear, but he was close to drowning. Before he could be swept under, before that wall could break—he vanished.

Eyes were transfixed by the cabin, by the sheer amount of death permeating from within. Even with blurred sight from distraction, they could see James on the other side of their peripherals, he was saying something but they couldn’t make out what. There had to be at least six vampires within the residence, and that took precedence over his sudden disappearance. While their fingers hovered over the screen of their phone, something knocked them down. Someone.

Phone flew several feet away, but that wasn’t important now. A whistle of alarm reverberated against the trees, and Metzli pulled out a stake from their side and plunged it into the vampire, killing him and cutting the whistle short. It was too late though, and they could hear a door break open. Gaze locked onto four vampires sprinting from the cabin straight for them. Matching their vigor, Metzli booked it towards one and plunged the stake into her chest. Another one down. Only five more to go. The three that were left leapt for them, trying to overwhelm them. It worked, but by some miracle, the stake plunged into yet another chest, leaving only two to land punch after punch on them.

Two more vampires stepped out from the cabin, and Metzli was forced to watch as a familiar face got dangerously close to theirs. Fighting back was futile while their head was being held up by their hair and their arms were locked behind them. “Hola Metzli. Hace mucho tiempo.” Tremors overtook their body as they stared right into the vampire’s eyes. The vampire who was their partner when it came to protecting Eloy. “Chinga tu pinche madre, Anselmo.” They spat through gritted teeth, right before a bone crunching punch to the face.

Blip! Blink of an eye, James was back. Face still contorted as mind could not see past that unresolved conversation. That wall gaining new cracks—close to shattering. “Was that just a, um, weird joke or something because I didn’t think it was funny and I’d really like it if you- Oh!” More eyes than expected were watching him. He stared with just his two. Then vanished again.

Another punch landed onto their face, and Anselmo laughed. “Did you really think you could run away? Did you really think Master Eloy would let you go?” Metzli locked eyes with the vampire and spat at him. Black blood spattered over his face and rage filled his eyes. “Fuck you, and fuck Eloy!” Metzli retaliated, lunging forward and breaking the grasp that held their hair. Forehead met nose and Anselmo screamed in agitation. Using the moment of distraction, they grabbed the stake from the ground and took out yet another vampire. Three left to go. But just as the point rushed around to make impact with the other, Anselmo’s hand wrapped around Metzli’s, giving him the chance to throw them on the ground.

Their face hurt, and the pain spread throughout their body as he pinned them down and attacked their throat. Red eyes locked only momentarily right before teeth sank in, threatening to dig deeper. Deeper and deeper, Anselmo attempted to sever the attachment their head held onto their body. Metzli was going to break their promise. The fear of that grew as their strength depleted, unable to make their arms do anything. They had taken too much damage, they needed blood.

The scent of death was potent. But there was one who did not match. A flat note in the choir. And growing louder. Closer. Threatening to ruin the whole show. But the show only faltered for a moment, something of a reprieve found in their brief consideration. Barely a murmur was uttered—something deeper transpired between the vampires. An understanding was found in that veiled conference, quick and efficient to not distract from the main course. Not a moment wasted, Anselmo simply waved a vampire off before following that motion down into a strike upon Metzli. The chosen protector, or chosen sacrifice depending on the point-of-view, followed that clashing note. Foxhound on the fox. But this fox knew how to bite back. And when he found the source of distraction, woman with the chattering teeth, he came to understand just how hard.

Eilidh threw the stake in her hand. It whistled through the air, ending in a meaty thud. Coming to a quick stop inside the vampire’s chest. He had only a second to stare at her in confusion before crumpling. Dead. Stride merely slowing, Eilidh fished out the stake from his remains. Then regained her former speed, as inhuman as the glint in her eyes. Feet beat fast but light on the ground. If she was devoid of that telling scent she may have been able to ambush. But they would be waiting for her, she was sure of it. She had known even before the encounter in the woods. But time and experience had revealed tricks against that pesky disadvantage.

As that foreign scent became church bells, all those bloodthirsty eyes turned to meet it. Something humanoid, something familiar, was the expectation. A known enemy they had all replayed in their minds killing with a familiarity. What stood at the treeline had the shape of a human. Kind of. If the outline had been filled with static. The touch of mundanity made where it differed all the more jarring. All parties stood still. Until a single “¡¿Que demonios es eso?!” broke them out that trance. One vampire ran to meet the thing in the woods. But his pace was weighed with hesitation: could this thing even be killed? Eilidh rumbled with a metallic shriek—undecided form convulsing in beat. And when her arm struck out to stake this one’s chest, it looked more tree than limb. He fell as fast as the one in the woods. Returned to the Earth.

Anselmo laughed as weak arms could not grip, could not gather enough leverage to shove him off. Photos were taken unbeknownst to them, and sent off. Evidence of their struggle. Metzli grew worried that they wouldn’t be able to manage. People have hope because they cannot see death standing behind them. But not Metzli. Their eyes had been ingrained on death’s visage, losing all hope in the process. Never fearing death because it was the one thing they could count on. But White Crest had given them everything they needed to want to look away from those hollow eyes. And as reality settled in, darkness consumed their sight. A muffled and distant voice growled. Eilidh’s scent filled their nose. Metzli began to imagine what hope would feel like. And wish that they had never looked death in the eyes. That way, they could be blissfully unaware. So they didn’t have to feel, for the very first time, the fear of dying.

The punching and biting ceased as Anselmo and two other vampires Metzli didn’t notice before, looked towards Eilidh. What they believed to be Eilidh. A sharp pain caused them to groan, and even through hazy vision, they could see two knives inside of their torso. Anselmo rose off of them and leered at the crazed undead creature before him. His body was rigid, unsure what to make of the foul thing before him. This was the break Metzli needed. Looking down at the knives, they attempted to raise their arms, which were feeling like they weighed tons. And then, one of the knives came into focus. It was their old knife. The one Eloy made for them. The one they used to fight with.

Anger surfaced onto Metzli’s face and a newfound resolve formed in their chest. Fighting against the hunger and pain, they removed the knives jutting out of them, and rose to their stumbling feet, tackling Anselmo to the ground. Fangs and knife pierced skin. A foul taste filled their mouth, but they didn’t care. All that mattered were the screams of pain and the knife that plunged into Anselmo over and over again until he knocked them back, looming over them to once again gain the upper hand.

Another quickly took her opponent's place, but this vampire was faster than that amalgamated arm. Ensnaring Eilidh in her grip. Hands grappled hands, grappled bodies. Her stake tumbled to the grass in the fervorous skirmish. A third noticed the vulnerability, and made quick to exploit. Rushing into the fray, two against one. But it was actually two against two. The second was enveloped in a strange feeling. A foreign pressure. A lingering cold. Enough to preoccupy for mere seconds, but each counted in a fight. Eilidh shifted her weight, brought that first opponent—still trapped in each other’s holds—closer to chattering teeth. And they did as nature intended. Bit and tear. Severing any connection her nose had to her face. It too tumbling into the grass. Overwhelmed with pain, enough constitution was lost to let Eilidh get closer. And those bloodied teeth found her neck. And bit equally as hard. With mouth at work, Eilidh’s hand was free to slip up skirt. Gripping tight a silver dagger. Blade met the vampire’s neck on opposite side, until her incisors and metal joined in the middle.

With a twitch, Eilidh severed the last remaining tendons connecting neck to torso. The head rolled off with ease, joining its nose on the ground. James’ trick had gone stale and the third vampire was ready to try his chances. Eyes free from the glaze of distraction, completely locked on her. But her own was placed elsewhere, far away. To the confrontation between Metzli and that stranger. She didn’t like how Metzli looked. She didn’t like how this man looked at them. Not one fucking bit. A snarl burned in her throat, but it sounded like chainsaws to any near. The vampire closest tried to be a substitute for her broiling anger. He pounced at her, but she simply shoved him into the dirt. Hardly a thought to make sure he wasn’t following when she rushed to the distant altercation. Before the stranger was able to fully turn, confront that approaching death, she leapt onto his exposed back. Arms looping around his shoulders—stifling any movement. He bucked and shrieked like a wild stallion, but she had encountered worse. Those arms only grew tighter. Teeth tried to find that neck, but it jerked out of hold. Accidentally meeting an ear instead. Incisors latched on anyway, ripping off the flesh and cartilage. The shrieking grew louder. Her own primal sounds filled that air, in lieu of words. Mind having no room to translate. But there was still an intention in each grunt. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

Wide eyes stared as Anselmo could no longer move. Eilidh’s firm and powerful grasp held him in place and he wailed in agony as a piece of him was torn away. “M-Macleod...I—” Metzli shook uncontrollably. Understanding washed over their face, but they couldn’t move, couldn’t force their body to lunge forward with the knife in their hand. A slippery grip tightened around it, beckoning them to do it. To kill their partner of thirty years. The very partner who had sworn to protect their abuser with them. No more. Those days were over and a new one was on the horizon. Finding the motivation, they rose to their feet, only swaying slightly.

“Todo lo que nos enseño Eloy fue malo. Y ahora, voy cambiar a todo.” The knife plunged into the center of Anselmo’s chest and he gasped with the widest eyes. His eyes met with Metzli’s for a split moment before he crumbled into nothing. As pieces of him fell, so too did Metzli. A hand reached out for Eilidh, but contact was never made. Their body gave way to the crushing pain, forcing them to the ground. Neck revealed the damage, the death they almost met. Black liquid stained their skin.

In spite of the overwhelming agony, a weight was lifted, and a piece of them felt free. “Thanks Mac—” Their hand reached out but fell to the ground as spots of black coated everything in sight. “Need blood.” Metzli’s voice was hoarse, throat dry from the urgent need of sustenance. Their body went rigid, as still as a statue while their body began to render itself into a comatose state of preservation.

They crumbled into her arms, and Eilidh instinctively covered that battered body with her own. Eyes surveying the suspicious quiet. She knew there were others. The one she had shoved no longer lay in the dirt. But he seemed to lay no where, absent entirely. Somewhere. Anywhere. Who knew how many were like that, in an unknown somewhere. Waiting to come back. Or waiting for her to find them. Have them join the others in that growing pile of ash. She lacked any innate warning signals—relying on average ears and eyes. And they both revealed nothing, except a peace she did not trust. And this unknowing would be fine—mysteries a commonality in her life—if she did not have two tasks at hand. Protecting and feeding. To hunt would leave Metzli exposed; to guard would leave them to starve. And either would benefit from knowing where the fuck anyone was. So, divide and conquer.

Eilidh called to James, meaning to do so in words but only squawks came out. He understood regardless—even a simple look would’ve sufficed. In his own look, there was a creeping tension. Formed deeper lines and tighter jaw the closer he got to Metzli. In another state of mind, she would have the thought to wonder. To decipher those subtle flinches and squirming. To find what hid in each wrinkle, each twitch—a practice she was good enough to be tenured. But that was too much thinking and not enough doing. He was where she needed him to be and that’s all that registered. With that confirmation, she returned to the woods. Leaving James with Metzli and a strange sense of déjà vu.

Minutes passed before Eilidh’s return. Sporting a fresh layer of crimson on her hands and face. The body she carried too covered in fresh blood. Though it only met their paws, head no longer present. Torn away by ravaging bites. Enough to appease her hunger, to allow herself to do away with the kill. Though a part did want to hesitate, to consume the coyote in entirety. But seeing Metzli again, remembering in clarity their state. It appealed to something deep inside her. It told the hesitation to fuck off. She dropped the corpse near Metzli without a second thought. Remembering how to speak, she uttered a single word. “Eat.”

Obediently and with some difficulty, Metzli navigated their body to the coyote, consumed by the ravenous need to eat. When the blood hit their tongue, a feral fervor took control and fangs pierced the corpse, draining it quickly. It tasted better than usual, and they supposed starvation would do that to just about anything. At this state, Metzli would even drink from a werewolf.

No longer able to get another drop, fangs retracted and their body was upright once again. Now on auto-pilot, Metzli took steps that teetered to one side, but they remained standing. “There might be others. We—I—” Eyes tightened shut, trying to relieve any residual dizziness. “Hunt for food. Then hunt for stragglers.” Voice was vacant of their personality, laser-focused on finishing the job thoroughly.

“Thank you, Macleod,” A mutter, but not too low so that it went unheard. Grass depressed underneath their feet as they reached Eilidh to leave a bloody kiss on her cheek. “I will find a way to repay you. For now, let's search together. No splitting up. Not this time.” Crimson eyes locked with Eilidh’s briefly before turning and limping softly in their chosen direction, waiting for her to follow and finally put an end to the encounter.

#wickedswriting #eilidh and metzli #chatzy #domestic abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #gore tw

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doomtodivide · 3 years ago

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Imagining The Future: Bastille's New Era Analysis

Hello all! The following is taken from the first of my new era update posts on r/Bastillecult. I highly reccomend reading all the posts on there!

Last time I had a few solid guesses with the whole Goosebumps EP transition period, so I figured I would try my luck with this new era. I've broken everything down into a few categories that should hopefully flesh out a sketch of possibilities

Aesthetic: The new logo has a very sleek design. This complete change in aesthetics is very noticable. Bad Blood was filled with literature references, a cozy and nerdy looking dan, and more earthy looking tones. Wild World focused on nihilism, movie references, and an all too realistic dystopian city aesthetic. Doom Days focused on escapism, partying, fucking, and a red and home-y vibes. The lack of color and the clean and sleek look points towards it being a more future oriented era.

Triangle: For a deeper background, I highly recommend reading u/casperwyomingrex 'spost.

The WW era triangle and this new triangle are technically called deltas. While I am by no means a geometry person, I’ve been told by a few math nerds that these triangles are technically not possible in certain plains and spaces, making them impossible. While it is likely that Bastille just needed to explore just slightly outside the normal definition of a triangle to match this aesthetic, the impossible triangle t-shirts hint that there is significance to having “impossible” triangles. This hints that there may be more in common between the WW Era and the Future Era, ie. a dystopian society.

Dystopia: Bastille created an entire dystopian corporation for WW. I remember them saying somewhere they hated the promo and touring process for this album, leading them to switch up the process for DD and the Goosebumps EP. With the record label change and covid shaking up the world, this opens up the opportunity for them to have a redo with this era, especially considering it is a fan favorite era. Many people have pointed out that hint has a vibe similar to black mirror, a sci-fi dystopian show, which would fully support a sci-fi dystopian aesthetic era.

Sound: Though the clip is only 8 seconds long, it gives us some hints about the new era. Bastille once again uses synths for sound, creating a reference to Sci Fi sound effects. The clip mirrors the effect of oscillators to create things like laser sound effects, teleportation, warping, and other “space” noises. I find the juxtaposition of Sci-fi interesting; it was most popular in the early 1900s, meaning Bastille is referencing the past, yet it focuses on the future, which in the lense of Sci-fi, would mean the 2000s and beyond.

In the lens of broadcasting, short interludes are used throughout advertising to the point where many people don’t even think about this. A lot of them are used to hook us in and signify a certain company or thing. In advertisements they are used to signify the company’s presence and to worm the product into our brain. In casinos they are used as a dopamine reward. News stations use them to signify the station. This especially could be relevant in a dystopian society. I’m mentioning this because the clip doesn’t sound full enough to be a song, rather an intro to a news station segment. I find this especially notable considering WW had a news anchor. Looking back, a few videos from wild world could hold significance. This video

has a sci-fi esc clip in the intro.

In Previous Context: In the context of ReOrchestrated, Bastille is no longer letting imposter syndrome or shitty opinions stop them from what they want to do. Meaning they are going full force into the future. There's one specific time during the ReOrch doc where the boys talk about how ReOrch made them realize they could try new shit, even if management thinks it will fail. Dan has spoken in a few interviews now about being excited about collabing (and mentioning relinquishing control to others in the ReOrch doc), a few artists have come forward about working with Dan. While it’s unlikely that every collab we’ve theorized about will go through, Dan Wilson and Ryan Tedder seem to be confirmed in the roster based off of their interviews

When considering the past, a lot of previous songs focus on nostalgia; for example, in Fake it “We can never go back / We can only do our best to recreate.” Post ReOrch and DD, Bastille has worked up enough confidence to push into making their own future, one unlimited by nostalgia and fear.

In the Context of the Goosebumps EP, Inception and Vanilla Sky are both referenced. Both of these movies mark the first time* (to my knowledge

) that futuristic sci-fi has been referenced in Bastille. There is significant overlap with dreaming and time travel, something that could definitely be applied to this era. While it could be coincidental, Bastille has been quite purposeful with using references to add to the era’s aesthetic (see Aesthetic section). Referencing them during a transition period points towards both the literal future (new era) and a new aesthetic.

*Cosmos: War of the Planets and twilight zone have both been referenced but fall into a different category of sci-fi than Vanilla Sky and Inception

In Regards to Distraction Tactics Space Week and WW, alot of it holds very similar aesthetics. This video

from WW also holds a similar aesthetic. Considering DT is linked through space and WW is linked through dystopian this might MIGHT be related.

Hints: It wouldn’t be a new Era without Dan “Soon” Smith teasing us a bit, so here are a few highlights. In this interview

, Dan says “I want to tell you but I can’t! We just want to reflect on the future…” The No Bad Days tweet and the #ToTheSky post likely plays a part in the new era, but the 8 second clip does not have any immediate hints. The art installation in the #ToTheSky post originally caught my interest when it was posted. James Turrel, the artist that created the installation, uses light as a medium to create art. The installation, called the Space That Sees, is described as an “allegory of light that we generate from inside and light that comes from outside: the emergence into space where light comes forth as in a dream." While I have no fucking clue how to interprete this allegory, I imagine space, light, and dreaming will become key players in the new era. A few other notable works of his are the Raethro Pink and Alta Pink, both of which are pinkish purplish white triangles light projections surrounded by inky blackness. The use of Bastille’s triangle logo and a flash of light purple light means there are likely deep ties between the new era and James Turrel’s creations; furthermore, he also acquired a dormant cinder cone volcano to turn into an a museum/observatory using light apertures to observe the solar system, adding further ties to the space and light themes.

Meaning: "You Don't Predict The Future. You Imagine It" I have purposely not used predict in this analysis so I don’t jinx this era. I’ve found a few variations of this saying (You Can’t Predict The Future. But You Can Create It), but all of them seem to point towards creating the future instead of guessing. I imagine not many of my predictions of this era will not be accurate because I am not the one imagining it. I feel like this might also point towards being conscious about what you want out of the future instead of merely guessing where the tides will take you. This could also be like that one story of a kid's drawings turning into real creatures because of the kid imagining it. I feel like “future” and “imagine” point deeply towards sci-fi because of the creative inventions that will take us there. This could also connect to the theory that the survivin’ coin is linked to A.A., and this statement being a motto to help someone escape addiction. Personally, I feel like this clip is the beginning of some sci-fi choose your own adventure video game, but that's my own opinion.

My Personal Crazy Conclusion: It wouldn’t be a post from me without me shooting out some crazy theories. A Light Cult Utopia. That's right. It would be the opposite of WW, meaning it would be new territory for Bastille and it would break a mold (ReOrch doc). It would also give Dan the ability to be more positive then he has been in the past, while also allowing for his normal cynical undertones. Bastille is purposeful with their references, meaning the Jonestown reference in DD might have a bit more purpose behind it. The lighter colors used in the clip would point to happiness. Considering utopias are “imagined” it would fit the phrase in the clip. Sci-fi would also fit into this as being imagined. Considering there are a few space references, I imagine that humans have imagined perfect spacecraft, further fitting sci-fi and a utopian society. Also, Dan collabed with Future Utopia on the track “What’s In A Name?” That's right, what’s in a name? The name being Future Utopia? An entire new era being the name? That right cultists, Dan ”Soon” Smith snuck this under our noses the entire time that bastard.

Summary Statement: This new era will likely bring collabs from an entirely new approach. A Sci-fi dystopian (or utopian) world, one focused on dreaming, light, and space will likely be the aesthetic for this era.

Loose ends: I am only one human, meaning I physically could not rewatch Inception and Vanilla Sky while also researching James Turrel, so there might be a few things I missed in my brief look at them. If anyone would like to read 1984 by George Orwell through the whole dystopian thing, there might be a few connections there.

Based on some things I’ve heard from a little birdy, expect some big non-album projects that tie in with this era and other things….

Special thanks to u/0verjoyed and @ ja9zimm on twitter

#bastille band #bastille #bastillecult #dan smith #kyle simmons #chris woody wood #will farquarson #long post

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victoriareyloficlists · 4 years ago

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Fake Relationship

Updated 20 October 2021 Rest of the Masterlist.

A Christmas When You Were Mine by TazWren (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey harbours a seemingly hopeless crush on her neighbour, until the day she lands him in the hospital and has to deal with what comes next.) A Fluff Piece by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a late night TV producer. Ben is a zoologist who every once in a while is invited to bring his animals to the show. This week's theme is fur balls and he brings all his cutest babies. Rey doesn't know who is cuter: the animals or their handler.) All Bets Are Off by crossingwinter (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Fake girlfriend. What does that even mean?” Ben asks her. Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.) and all i need is to be struck by your electric love by radioactivesaltghoul (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s supposed to fake-break-up with her fake-boyfriend, but Ben’s been pissing her off more and more lately. What better way to irritate him by showering him in a public proposal that he has to say no to?) Anything You Need by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben knows women don’t come to him for his lacking social skills and awkward nature; they want to see if he's big all over. He figures why not finally use his assets to his advantage and (try to) flirt with and impress trainer Rey by working out in only biking shorts?) as luck would have it by prncesselene (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a case of violent food poisoning ruins Rose and Hux’s honeymoon plans, who better to take their place at a pre-paid Hawaiian beach resort than the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Sure, it’ll take some maneuvering, but a free vacation is a free vacation. They just have to pretend to be devoted newlyweds for a bit to enjoy it. There’s only one glaring issue, really: they can’t stand each other.) Be My (Fake) Wife by paynesgrey (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is in a bad predicament because of his father. He must produce a wife in order to impress the retiring President so he can take over his family's company. The problem is, he doesn't think he knows anyone who can help him...until Rey, his kendo student, offers to fake marry him for compensation. The only problem is... their marriage and feelings may not seem so fake as they get to know each other.) Christmas Eve Will Find Me (Where the Lovelight Gleams) by Love_andbalance (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Christmas Eve. Ben stares at the train that he and his now ex were supposed to be departing on. A noise behind him turns his head, a beautiful girl yelling at the SOLD OUT ticket booth. He looks at the 2 tickets in his hand and back at the girl. "Fuck it," he says, walking up to her.) Conscience and Unconsciousness by pontmercy44 (AO3 2017 Rated E Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's in love with the man who comes to the diner, after he gets hurt and she follows him to the hospital. A While You Were Sleeping AU, what happens when Ben wakes up with amnesia and can't remember his "fiance" Rey. TW: Immigration Officer and threats of deportation.) Crisis: Girlfriend by perperuna (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben had been in love with Rey for over a year when he asked her to go with him to his ex’s wedding as his date and ‘girlfriend’.) dancing in a swirl of golden memories by hi_raeth (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A long time ago, in a desert far away, Rey and Ben met each other and fell in love. But that was years ago, before they went their separate ways and grew as people and ran into each other in college a while later. Now all they have is a close friendship, fond memories, and… oh, what’s this? An opportunity to fake date in order to appease Ben’s parents for the holiday season?) daylight by sparklylulz (sparklyulz) (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Coffee shop employee Rey has a run in with one of the difficult professors. Thus starts a very turbulent friendship until Ben needs a fake date to go with him to see his parents, the first time he's seen his parents in a while.) Deceit, Delusion, and Desire by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey realizes her student visa is about to expire, she struggles to find a way to stay in the country legally. Her roommate has a terrible idea, and it's just risky enough to work.) Dreaming of a December Wedding by greywilde (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 11 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A Reylo modern AU based on the Hallmark Christmas Movie, "A December Bride" Rey Jackson was supposed to marry Poe Dameron and have her dream December wedding - until he fell in love with her foster sister Kaydel. And it's all Ben Solo's fault. Now it's payback and he's her fake date to the wedding, but when Ben makes an impulsive announcement, it sets the stage for an elaborate holiday arrangement.) Fleeced by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: AU where Rey is a mechanic and Ben is her grumpy client. Ben is car shopping and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend so the dealer won't screw him over.) Force du Couer by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren is the CEO of a successful corporation in NYC. In a power play, his board, led by his uncle, demand that he marry to makeover his dismal public image. Rey is an art therapist working with foster kids in Harlem. When she contacts Kylo for possible support, he proposes a business deal that can benefit them both. He has no idea how much this woman with a fierce heart will turn his world upside down.) Get Rekt by Thelittlescrimshaw (AO3 2016 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He was drunk, they all were, but slinging an arm around her shoulders and declaring Rey his wife was not how she imagined the first party of the semester going.) Happy to Help by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated E Incomplete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Sometimes you just need your neighbor to pretend to be in a relationship with you. Repeatedly.) heaven in hiding by blessedreylo (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: They say it's impossible for a guy and girl to be "just friends", but Rey and Ben had managed to discredit that throughout their decade long friendship. What they both have is special, that people would often arrive at the conclusion the two were made for each other. He's her safe haven, her rock. She gives him a sense of clarity and direction. Ben and Rey know each other more than anyone ever possibly could. Therefore on Valentine's Day, their friends decided to secretly set them up together on a blind dinner date.) Hey Sweetheart by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Anytime a guy flirts with Rey, her flatmate Ben swoops in and pretends to be her possessive boyfriend. She was never going to get laid. Six months since moving in with him, and he scared away all her potential ‘suitors’.) His New Girl by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has a problem...he is completely unprepared to run into his polished princess ex-girlfriend Bazine. Now he is standing in front of her without an answer to her question regarding if he is seeing anyone because of course he isn’t but he doesn’t want to tell her that. Then he hears a familiar voice. Rey. Would she be willing to help in his hour of need?) Home for the Holidays by LarirenShadow (AO3 2016 Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren, in a moment of weakness, tells his mother he'll be home for Christmas and will bring his girlfriend. Problem is he doesn't have one. Enter Rey, his grad assistant. He makes a deal with her so she'll be his girlfriend for the trip home.) home is where the start is by sunshineflying (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben desperately needs a good grade on his philosophy exam in order to keep his GPA up enough to get into the master's program of his dreams. Thankfully, his friend Rose knows a girl who is a paid tutor on campus who can help him. But with Thanksgiving holiday just a few days away, and the exam looming on the following Monday, less than conventional tutoring methods must be taken.) How Much Can Kylo Ren Endure This Christmas by reylology (AO3 2017 Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As the CEO of the number one commercial enterprise in New York City, Kylo Ren would think that bringing home a girl for his parents to meet should be the least of his concerns. But when a phone call with his mother takes an absurd, aggravating turn, he finds himself shoved headfirst into a lie. Desperate to prove his parents wrong, Kylo would do anything in order to see the shocked looks on their faces. Even if it means seeking help from the random girl that had just walked into his office for a job interview.) How to Keep Christmas by JaneNightwork (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, 26 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Ben have had feelings for each other since she began teaching at Chandrila Elementary School earlier that year, but neither knows their affection is mutual. Rey plans to use the the Christmas season––her favorite time of year––as an excuse to spend more time with Ben, and to find a way to tell him how she feels. But can she convince the Grinch-ish Ben to enjoy Christmas with her? Equally important: will her friends Finn, Poe, and Rose be able to stop themselves from matchmaking and meddling and general mischief?) I don't want a lot for Christmas by Rebeccaseal (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey helps Ben find presents for his mother and somehow ends up going to Christmas dinner with him as his fake girlfriend. Or at least, it's fake at first.) I don't want a lot for Christmas by Rebeccaseal (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey helps Ben find presents for his mother and somehow ends up going to Christmas dinner with him as his fake girlfriend. Or at least, it's fake at first.) I Need You to Kiss Me by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “My cheating arse of an ex has just walked in with my ex-roomie who he cheated on me with, so if you can pretend that we are happy, and that you are madly in love with me - that would be grand.” She paused taking a breath before giving him a light airy smile. “Any objections?”) In Sickness And In Health by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey knows it's not an ideal situation, but it's a situation thousands of people are in. It's not like there's much she can do about it right now, anyways. She can go a little while without health insurance. Until she gets breast cancer. The treatment will be simple if she can get it. But she's worried she can't, until her old co-worker Ben offers a solution: "We could get married.") In the Woods Somewhere by Verdantsolstice (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hikers Ben & Rey meet on the trail when they’re both lost. Hours of walking lead them to a convent in the woods. The sisters are very friendly, but refuse to let them both stay unless they’re married. TW: Mentions of ICE and immigration.) Just Kiss Me by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: At a party in Poe's house, a guy won't stop asking Rey to go out with him. Rey decides to silence him by pulling Poe's roommate Ben into a kiss.) Laid Between Words by jeeno2 (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 15 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is nearing the end of her temporary work Visa. Her friend Ben offers to marry her so she can stay in the U.S. She says yes.) Let me Dream, Let me Stay by Melusine11 (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has kept up a charade of a non-existant boyfriend for two years and now that Rose and Finn are getting married, she needs someone to pretend to be said boyfriend, enter her coworker Ben.) Look No Further by thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily) (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is spending Thanksgiving alone but a late-night Craigslist ad ends up with her agreeing to crash some asshole's family dinner. At the very least, she's curious what kind of people name their son "Kylo Ren" anyway.) Love is Strange by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Or the one where Rey lies and tells her coworkers she has a loving husband and a son. Now the annual picnic is coming up and she needs a fake picture-perfect family. Fortunately, her friend Ben fits all the requirements.) Love's a Game by darthswift13 (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Complete strangers Rey and Ben enroll in couples therapy as an academic experiment. How long before the therapist realizes it’s all a ruse?) maybe the night (holds a little hope for us, dear) by notkellymarie (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The inhabitants of The Loft have been invited to a college friend's wedding and Rey's ex-boyfriend will be in attendance. Wanting to avoid an interaction with him due to a messy break-up, she hopes bringing along a plus one will do the trick. Luckily, her friend Ben Solo from 4C is a trooper.) Merry (Fuzzy) and Bright by JaneNightwork (AO3 2019 Rated M Complete, 25 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: One night Ben finds a dog abandoned on his doorstep. She's cold, scared, and pregnant. Ben takes her to a nearby vet clinic and meets the beautiful veterinarian Rey, who promises to help him be the best caregiver the dog and her puppies could ask for. Throughout the holiday season Ben and Rey fall in love with the puppies and, of course, each other.) More Than a One-Night Stand by Eskayrobot, Poaxath (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's having a pretty shitty night, to be honest. From the creep at the bar to the...oh, this rescuer of hers is pretty nice. And very attractive. And maybe he smelled really good, too.) My Heart Like a Kick Drum by Zoa (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In need of a date to his parents destination vow renewal but not interested in a real relationship, Ben Solo turns to an acting service specializing in fake relationships for a temporary girlfriend. But as he gets to know Rey Niima over the course of the vacation, Ben finds himself reconsidering his outlook on love...) My Whole Life by AttackoftheDarkCurses, thebuildingsnotonfire (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The "Without a Hitch" high school sweethearts, fake-dating rom-com AU.) Nevertheless, She Persisted by dawninthemtn (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Junior campaign staffer Rey works for US presidential candidate Leia Organa and ends up with the job of babysitting her aloof and entitled adult son Ben.) Only Make-Believe by Hartmannclan (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is in a car accident, so best friend Ben races to the hospital to be with her. What happens when she wakes up with amnesia and believes they are married?) Overboard by Biekewieke (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Overboard AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Organa-Skywalker is a rich snob who hires her to clean his party barge, making her life difficult and fouls her mood. After a freak accident throws him overboard and Rey ends up saving his life. When he wakes up, it turns out he has amnesia. Rey sees it as the ultimate answer to all her prayers. She gets to take his arrogant ass down a peg or two AND she has someone to help around the house and with the kids for a while.) Overstimulated by adamsnackler (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben avoids going to parties because he doesn't like to get touched. Rey is intrigued by the mysterious man in the corner and swoops in to save him from a handsy flirt by pretending to be his date.) Peacock by AttackoftheDarkCurses (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 22 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor. Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.) Plus Won by AmberDread, DarkMage13, Erulisse17, Trish47, venetum (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After a drunken night of complaining at a bar, Rey and Ben agree to be each other's plus-ones for a variety of events. As friends and family continue to invite them to things, they discover that they really enjoy spending time together. And holding hands. And... kissing. What happens when their relationship starts to feel a lot more real than fake?) Practice Makes Perfect by violethoure666 (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Grumpy Ben Solo gets asked out by Jessica Pava, the hottest girl in the office. The only problem is that he's a 29 year old virgin who doesn't wanna make an ass of himself with the aforementioned hottest girl in the office. Rey offers to help him get all the awkward and embarrassing stuff out of the way before his big date. Everyone can definitely stay cool and not catch feelings. No big deal.) Rey is Tired by mcloveproductions (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima is tired. Tired of college. Of her shitty interning job at Plutt's garage. Ben is also tired of the job he just quit. When he meets and pretends to be Rey's boyfriend, maybe that'll be the answer to their problems.) Solstice Songs by Erulisse17 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A version of A Christmas Carol, with Kylo being haunted with his own ghosts; Past, Present, and Future.) Strictly Business by WinglessOne (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 11 Chapters, The Proposal Film AU, Quick Synopsis: Working for a nationally recognizable magazine is a huge honor, one that Ben Solo doesn't take lightly. His boss, Rey Erso, would be the first to agree and is thoroughly comfortable with her status as editor-in-chief. When her visa status is denied, she'll do anything to stay in the United States and avoid being deported back to England. Even if that means forcing her assistant to marry her.) Sugar and Spice by Rebel_Scum1221 (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bakes when she's stressed, but unfortunately never has enough room to finish all of her baked goods. Thus leading her to give her neighbor- who she may or may not have the hots for- her leftovers. Shenanigans ensue.) The Fake Boyfriend Problem by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rose accidently tells her parents her roommate Rey was bringing her boyfriend for Christmas, instead of telling them she was bringing her own boyfriend Finn, the girls run into an interesting problem.) To Play Pretend by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is tired of being hit on by some of the mums from his daughter's kindergarten class. He asks his friend Rey to come with him to pick up his daughter as his pretend fiancée.) Trouble for Thanksgiving by Biekewieke (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 40 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Kenobi's temporary work visa is about to expire. She needs her boss' signature on her renewal application to get the extension she desperately wants and needs. Only her boss, the infamous Ben Solo, is an asshole. He's notoriously difficult and she knows this firsthand. Nevertheless, she needs his signature on those papers if she wants to avoid being deported by the end of the year... So when Rey tells her about her looming deportation, he finds a way to bend the situation to suit his own needs. Except, for the first time in his adult life, things don't go exactly as planned when he takes her home for the holidays...) Unexpected by incognitajones (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey doesn’t want anything from her one-night stand Ben Solo, not even now that she’s broke, jobless, and pregnant. But he’s desperate to avoid a scandal that could derail his election campaign, so they agree to a cold-blooded business deal: she’ll marry him and be the perfect political wife—for a price, and a limited term.) Us or Them by MandyCandy (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and Finn accidentally witness the Final Order clearing up a distribution issue at Plutt’s Automotive. To make matters worse, Finn is recognized, Rey got it on video, and Kylo Ren is out for blood. Now they have to go into witness protection. Separately. Thankfully, due to the high value of Rey’s testimony against the Final Order, a highly decorated FBI Agent, Ben Solo, is going to be taking care of her by playing house and pretending to be newly weds. Or is Kylo Ren going to *take care of her* first?) Variance by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 23 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is heartbroken when she learns her temporary visa is expiring...and is mortified when her office crush. Kylo Ren, catches her crying about it. He is a partner in Skywalker & Associates law firm where she is an assistant. One thing leads to another...and what started as a simple solution for each of their problems turns into something much...much more. Together they wade through their deep scars to love.) We Stand Just a Little Too Close by walkingsaladshooter (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Benjamin Chewbacca Solo are you asking me to fake date you as revenge?) your name (twine it with mine) by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora) (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Alone at Christmas? Mad at your dad? I’m a thirty-year old alpha with years of experience in dealing with difficult family dynamics. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Christmas, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m game." Beggars, Rey decided, grasping for any lifeline, can’t be choosers.)

#Reylo #reylo fanfic

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