#the killer is who harry would be without kim as well

[medusaesque]

Kim's itchy trigger finger

So, Kim reaches for his gun often. Very often. sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons- opening the bear fridge, the experiment in the church, a note from Klaasje.

This one is just from being anxious going into the communist reading group. Kim doesn't want to be the kind of cop who draws his gun constantly, who shoots instinctively, but he is, or at the very least it's very difficult for him to stop himself from becoming one.

Perhaps the most horrifying example is with The Pigs-

Even if he KNOWS the gun isn't loaded, even if he knows it's safe, the instinctual muscle twitch could have ended in an unnecessary death. Kim is very well aware of that fact, and it's horrifying to him. @shufflerock-jam has this really good post about it, where they wonder how many of Kim's kills were unnecessary. "Something about a pair of traumatized cops, one fighting against shooting himself and one fighting against shooting everyone else".

At the end of The Pigs exchange, if Harry says she tried to kill him, Kim begins to interject, but stops himself and agree this situation could've been very bad. Then Empathy chimes in- 'He's trying not to think about how bad it could have been had the gun been loaded.' Which is the heart of the issue, right? that leads us to Eyes-

This is such a fascinating background to give Kim as a character- not just losing his partner, which gives him the trauma and survivor's guilt that lead to this unhealthy relationship with his gun and frankly with death in general, but losing his Eyes, and having that not interfere with his shooting. Kim doesn't need to see well to hit, he doesn't need to think. It's all in his hands, a reflex. A reflex that nearly took an innocent life. That might have taken one before.

His awareness of looming danger, to him and to his partner, is fueling his version of Hand/Eye Coordination to have him constantly on edge, his whole body is like a loaded spring, always prepared to make sure it doesn't happen again. Then it does-

In his nightmare scenario, leaning over his partner's bleeding body, Kim only needs one word to shoot without a second's hesitation. He's never not ready to take that shot. He doesn't need his Eyes.

Harry is distraught to discover he's killed before- his body remembers it. He wants a drink to soften the feeling. Kim however is impressed with how little he's killed- especially coming from the bloody murder unit. He wants to be 'one of the good ones' (Kim's adamant belief in the possibility of a Good Cop is a whole other can of worms) the kind of cop he would think highly of. Kim is disgusted by cops who kill like it's a game. Espirit gives us a vision of a cop exactly like that, who kills so often it doesn't feel like anything anymore. In a way that is completely mechanical- no thought, no feelings, just a thing your body does. Not unlike the way Kim shoots- like a spring unloaded. Kim has 6 confirmed kills before the tribunal, double the amount Harry has. He doesn't react the same way though-

It's doesn't bother Kim that he has killed, even if he declines to elaborate on it, and he seems to frown upon (or worry about) Harry's destructive coping mechanism. If they're unable to save Ruby, he says "Control your emotions. We did our job. This won't be the worst thing that happens on this case… believe me. You can't let this break you." When you wake up after the tribunal, he doesn't dwell on the lost lives on either side. Harry's skills call him a killer, a bloodstained killer, but when he tells Kim he also killed he simply nods. He's smoking though. I'm not saying that Kim is heartless or careless, he's rattled by nearly blowing The Pigs' head off, very sorry for the lives lost during the case, and clearly hunted by death, having been surrounded by it for his entire life. But I do think death is a part of the job for him- not just possible civilian causalities, but his own potential death. He speaks plainly about how he might die in the lie of duty, and he narrowly avoided it more than once, with others dying in his place..

He walked into the line of fire with harry expecting for of them to die, and his quick fingers on the trigger made it so they lived another day. Even if more ghost joined the list that hunts him in his sleep, he is alive. He goes on. He can't afford to fix this habit, as much as he wants to.

So it's so horrible and so touching that when Dros asks "What have you done?" Kim says-

It's a tragedy, really. A wartime orphan who wanted to be a revolutionary pilot and played with Franconigerian knights, who grew up to be a cop, a job that slowly shapes his body into a killing machine. And when you ask what he does, what you both do, he says keep people alive.

[sweetmage]

WIP Wednesday 🎉

Heeeey I'm writing Disco Elysium fanfic for the first time! ✨I always get nervous and overthink it when I start writing for a new fandom so I figured I'd start small and casual for practice!😅

Anyway, this takes place a few weeks after the end of the game when Kim and Harry haven't had much of a chance to follow up with one another since then. A little cafe meet-up to check in before they get back to business.

Contains big spoilers for the end of the game, of course!

Little could compare to the satisfying kla-thunk of the Kineema's door, save perhaps for the steady whir of the engine when it roared to life. Kim hadn't been out in a while, it was all paperwork and boxes for the final stretch, calls between the 57th and 41st to square away his transfer. It was nice to be back behind the wheel. He could almost feel himself deflate in his seat. When the frost had left his windows, his foot hit the gas and he was on his way.

The roads felt unfamiliar when he wasn't patrolling them, like if he spaced out for even a moment he'd wind right back up at his former precinct or perhaps the world would spontaneously rewind and send him back to the site of his last case...

A deep breath. He flicked on the radio and tuned it to something mellow, letting the noise fill the car and quiet his mind a touch until nothing remained but but his destination. The legendary Precinct 41... he whistled long and low to no one in particular, then settled back like he hadn't.

He'd do fine there, he knew that—better than fine, if he could help it—but he still wasn't without his trepidation. His career as an officer of the law hadn't exactly been smooth sailing. Fifteen years forced to oversee delinquent teens while his peers were out there solving real cases... the 'real case' that netted six dead despite their efforts... He shook his head.

He wondered how Harry was doing. They'd kept sparse contact in the following weeks, recovery updates and the like, but he rarely let them stray too far from professional. Whatever anecdotes or personal tidbits he had brewing were best saved for today.

Quaint neon lights and humble bricks greeted him as he pulled in to the café where he'd agreed to meet Harry. After all, they'd be partners again, in a way. Harry would give him the lay of the land, get him acquainted with everyone (perhaps more a test of Harry's memory than any true orientation) and Kim would oversee his progress during his probationary period, keep him on track. He tried not to dwell on how much that sounded like another kid-sitting job.

He found his way inside and was met by the gentle warmth of a well-loved interior and air smelling faintly of berries and cheap coffee. There was already someone in the corner booth, a man with a large frame and wild hair who was asleep. The waitress gave Kim a nervous smile and pointed her pen at the sleeping figure.

"Sorry ma'am," he sighed "I'll wake him."

The waitress' face softened a touch, but she didn't look pleased. "Yeah. You do that." She shuffled back behind the counter and left him to it.

Of course, Kim expected the worst. Painkillers, alcohol, both maybe? He'd been injured after all, and gravely so. It would only take one little slip up and...

"Harry," he said, his voice firm as the hand with which he shook his shoulder. "It's time to get up. Have some coffee, you'll feel better." Harry mumbled something in his sleep, a name? A refusal? Kim shook him again and he woke with a start and a cough, hands splayed upon the scuffed table and eyes wide like an animal before he focused and relaxed, slumping into the booth like a deflated balloon.

"Whu-?" He blinked up at him, squinted, then blinked again. He was unshaven and his hair was unruly, but he seemed sober, if only a bit tired. "About time. Traffic must have been killer, huh?"

Seating himself across from him, Kim cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "I'm early."

"Heh, so am I." He grinned, though he looked sheepish even as he reclined casually and threw an arm over the back of his seat. "Trying to impress you with my punctuality, but I lost it there for a minute. Feel free to still be impressed, though."

"It's good to see you up and about," he said, glossing over his request. "How are you doing?"

"Great! Fantastic. Feeling really good."

Kim eyed the dark circles under his eyes, the slight hunch of his back. "Really?"

"Really really. I'm a changed man, Kim. Totally reformed. No more of that... y'know," he waved his hand, "nasty shit. I'm going to be the most perfect cop. You're gonna be proud, you're gonna tell everyone, 'hey, I knew this guy when he was a big fuck-up. Now he's a great cop. What happened, you ask? I fixed him. That's right, he's my prodigy.' That's what you'll say."

"I don't think I'll be saying any of that. But, yes. I'm glad to hear you're on the right path. You seem happier, like the lights have come on." He raised a finger to his eyes to demonstrate his meaning.

"Still dark as hell when I close my eyes," he said, doing so with a deep inhale but then his smile went crooked and the glimmer came back. "But I gotta keep shining, baby. Light up the sky, you and me, right?"

"Right, keep shining," Kim agreed, nodding sagely, the slightest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. "And how are your injuries?"

"Only hurts when I run. Or walk. Or sit down. Or stand up. So, pretty much always. The scar will look cool, though. Like I'm a badass." He mimicked a few gunshots with his hand then let them drop to the table. "So, yeah, not great. Still healing. Still sore. You know how it is." His eyes darted to the side, then back. "How are you?" There was an earnestness in his voice, and... something else?

"You should take it easy for now. Your leave is up in a week, and I'll need you to be ready." He didn't answer his question, and the waitress chose that moment to arrive, notepad and pen in hand. "Do you know what you want? I'll buy." It was unlikely Harry had the funds anyway.

"I'll have what he's having." He flashed her something between a smile and a grimace, throwing in a wink for good measure, he supposed. She rolled her eyes. Harry looked a bit put off but recovered quickly.

"Alright then." She turned her attention Kim, pen at the ready. "What will you be having?"

"Just a coffee, ma'am, thank you."

Nodding and turned to retreat, she was stalled when Harry's hand came down hard upon the table.

"Wait!" He called to her, "I'm changing my order." The waitress sighed, exasperated, but he forged ahead. "I'll have what he's not having. Gimme whatever. Surprise me."

"He'll have an omelette, ma'am," Kim interjected, then turned back to him. "Please behave yourself."

"I think I'm the least of your worries this time," he countered, leaning his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand.

"How do you mean?" Though he asked, he had the hair raising feeling he already knew the answer. This was Harry, after all, he had that way about him.

"You'll do great at the 41st, just like you did at the 57th. You're the type of guy who could walk into any precinct, start handing out orders, and people would listen." He spoke like this was a well known fact. "You'd be great anywhere."

"I... thank you," he replied, caught a little off guard. "I hope you're right about that."

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

[happymeishappylife]

Books I've Read in 2024 Part 4

1. Ghost Stories by Jim Butcher (#13 of the Dresden Files)

This might have become my favorite Dresden Book. And the twist and departure from normal Dresden stories worked really well to not only challenge Harry, but allow other characters to step up and have agency. So first, I forgot that we left Harry shot at in Thomas’s boat in the last one, but we pick up with Harry’s shade who has been summoned to find his killer and help his friends as a ghost. This poses challenges because as a ghost, Harry has to navigate how to operate in the world, including the loss of his powers. He finds an ectomancer Morty who Harry will be able to speak to and speak through. His friends naturally doubt this is the real Dresden and really who could blame them when Harry’s been gone for six months. Murphy especially being so guarded is exactly what I expect. But Molly is the first to warm to him and as we find out later, its because she knows how Dresden dies, but hasn’t told anyone. In his absence she has grown incredibly even though she’s been in constant danger, but that’s what I loved. Finally Molly got to show off her own magic skills and take on enemies of high caliber and she wins all but one time. And really, trying to take on Corpsemaker would be a big challenge. I’m just glad that Uriel had someone intervene to save her and save Butters from her wicked schemes. I definitely did not miss her. I did miss Thomas and thought at the end, Harry actually unpacked a lot of the shit he forgot when he went after his daughter. Which was, Maggie has two blood relatives. Though granted seeing Thomas in the sorry state he was in after Harry’s death was hard, I hope the two can reconcile soon. But now that Harry has become the Winter Knight, we’ll see how that goes.

2. New York 2140 by Kim Stanley Robinson

I really enjoyed this novel. Granted, it took me until about 200 pages to get into (there are 600 total…) but once I was, I was invested. For a Sci-fi future novel, this was refreshing in that it wasn’t a dystopian future society, but more so our society continuing on, through the disasters. In the 100 year future, the Earth has gone through two events that has changed it forever, that being the First Pulse and the Second Pulse where sealevels rose over 58 feet which is what scientists predict will happen. Which means all the coastal cities as we know them have changed and the land where the richest and most secure individuals in the US, live in Denver. Manhatten is underwater. The sea level rise goes up 5-7 stories on the giant skyscrapers and instead of subways and roads, people now travel by skybridges or boats. And we follow the lives of ten people who live in the Met, that starts without being connected to each other, and shows how people do come together and form a community. Each of the people’s chapters have a different tone of voice and writing style which is also why it was hard to get into, but fit each of the characters really well. From a self-absorbed finance guy in first person, to a genuine New York citizen who sounds like he’s standing on a street corner talking to you, its clever. The other part of this story is as the events unfold, that want and need to change the way the world works takes over, but instead of revolution in the form of battle, it truly is a revolution in the power in democracy which comes off as very hopeful and something I would like more people to implement before we get to 2140. I highly recommend this.

3. You Are Destined To Be Together Forever by Dean Koontz (Odd Thomas Short Story)

A quick read and interval before the final book which has a younger Odd romping around his hometown Pico Mundo with Stormy solving a quick ghost case before going to the carnival. It was cute, but also sad since there was a lot of emphasis about Stormy’s plans to open an ice cream parlor and franchise by the time she’s 24, and yet we know what happens to her. Though this raises some questions for me as to how the final novel is going to end. Because Odd emphasizes each book that supposedly these memoirs only get released after his death so we know its coming in the final novel and we know he is going back to Pico Mundo, so I think the endgame is he dies and meets back up with Stormy as the ending to the series. Its sweet and bittersweet and that’s what I’m expecting. So we’ll see.

4. We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo

A fascinating, heartbreaking, and interesting read about a girl named ‘Darling’ and her life in Zimbabwe and her move to the US. As a kid we see how she plays with her game who all have nicknames as they explore their world. They hunt for guavas in the richer part of town, play ‘andy-over’ and also pretend to be world leaders in their games. But we also see the hard parts that they wrestle with, even if its not deeply explored. For instance when Darling and her girlfriends try to help their friend Chipo from having a baby because they heard it might kill her and they don’t want their eleven-year-old friend to leave them. But when an elder sees and hears this, she stops them and we all feel the heartbreak of Chipo’s situation. But after a raid on a rich person’s house and the political world growing ever more turmoil, Darling is excited to go to the US. Her experience in the US however, covers much of the feelings of all of the people in the diaspora that can’t feel 100% connected to their new home and start to feel alienated by their old home. Darling struggles with this while trying to help her Aunt and Uncle, eventually learning she can’t go home because her visa would never allow her to come back. But while at first saddened by this, she gets chewed out by Chipo who says she doesn’t even know the country she complains about or feels empathy about. It’s a great read to help understand the difficulties of immigrants, but its also gut wrenching like many of those tales

5. The House of Hades by Rick Riordan (Book #4 of the Heroes of Olympus Series)

Oh Man. This is the first in the series to get really heavy. And that’s because poor Percy and Annabeth have to travel through Tartarus, a living god they are literally walking upon until Tartarus decides to become an actual figure and try to kill them. It’s horrific, hard, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they are together with Bob to help them, they probably wouldn’t have made it. But it is going to drastically change them. Already, we saw how Percy nearly lost his heroeness by learning to control liquid poison. Annabeth keeps her head, but is sad when her plan works and that means sacrificing Bob and Damasen. And Percy doesn’t like the feeling of having almost tricked Bob into it. Meanwhile their friends are still trying to make their way to the House of Hades. Hazel learns from Hecate that she can control the Mist and that’s an incredibly powerful skill. Frank learns to embrace his Mars side and in the process undergoes a transformation from cautious soldier to newly promoted Praetor. Piper feels like she is lesser in the group, but learns to swordfight and enhance her charm speak. Leo accidentally gets plunged onto Calypso’s island after Khione attacks and in the time he spends there, he falls hard for her. And I think he will be the one to break her curse since unlike all the other heroes who met her and left, including Percy, Leo and Calypso spent a lot of time learning to love each other. Jason finally figures out that he doesn’t want to be a Roman and would rather be a Greek, living at Camp Half Blood should it survive. But he also learns Nico’s secret and oh man. I know of Nico’s sexual identity because of future storylines, but hearing it and having Jason point out that not only did he hide it because of being afraid of coming out, but because he comes from the 1930s where it was punishable made it hit harder. And of course Nico fell for Percy. Who wouldn’t, lol? But will Nico ever say? Hard to tell. I really can’t wait to see his perspective on things and it looks like I might get that chance in the next book as he and Reyna begin shadow travelling back to Camp Half Blood to deliver the Athena statue. It also all wraps up in the next book, so can’t wait to see how the war with Gaea comes to an end.

6. Typical American By Gish Jen

I have mixed feelings about this novel. On the one hand, I do appreciate another interesting telling of immigrant life in America and especially coming from the time period that this novel is set in which is early 20th century. But following the lives of these Chinese immigrants gets a little muddled and not in the usual way. Yes, we see the struggles to fit in and how to cope with American society. Theresa, Helen, and Ralph even joke about being a ‘typical American’ before they settle into their life. But when Ralph makes the switch from being a tenured professor to falling under the con of Grover and opening his own chicken shop, it becomes more than just an immigrant story. It becomes a story of heartbreak, because you can see it won’t end well. No one that greasy is ever going to help you. So when they lose the shop due to bad land, see Helen falling for Grover (gross), you knew it wasn’t going to end well. But the bigger question, is did the book even end? Yes it ends on Ralph’s musings of how he got there, but it felt like I was missing pages because we were talking about the color of people’s bathing suits in a memory and then it just ends. So it was very weird.

7. Mistworld by Simon R. Green (Prequel #1 of the Deathstalker Novels)

I haven’t been able to find Deathstalker Honour which is why I haven’t been reading this series. But since I was tired of pushing it off, I figured reading the prequels could get me back in without spoiling the future books. And hopping right in, it was easy to be back in this Universe. We learned how dangerous the rogue planet of Mistworld was in the first few novels, but I liked having it be a setting and getting to see how its inhabitants dealt with the problem of Empire invasion without our heroes. Though it was nice to see Jack Ransom get mentioned. I enjoyed the way the mysteries all tied together too. From Jamie’s backend deal with Dr. Vertue which ultimately leads to his death, to Topaz’s husband getting murdered by Vertue’s bounty hunter, to Cat being the one who burgled Topaz, and to Cyder trying to swindle Steel at the end, bringing all of them together to stop Typhoid Mary. It was also a story about personal gains and while yes there was a threat of the Empire because of Blackhawk’s plot to destroy Mistworld to end his exile, the Empire really took a seat back to the threats. Yes of course Mary was programmed by them, but it felt more like all these people trying to save themselves than the planet. Even Mary’s pursuit to get her sapphire, subverting her programing felt like a personal move. Still, the one thing being back in this universe that made it hard was the brutality and the death. From the duels, to the assassinations, to Typhoid Mary’s esper attacks, there is a lot. And it doesn’t hold back and nor should it, because that’s Green’s style. And I’ve missed it in this universe.

8. Doctor Who: Peacemaker by James Swallow

This was a great story to feature the Tenth Doctor and Martha Jones. And while I’m irked that this writer continued on with the show’s poor handling of Martha’s love interest in the Doctor, I understand this was written at the time of the show, and honestly I thought he captured both their personality’s really well. After being let down to go see an Old West movie, the Doctor takes Martha to the scene in Redwood, Colorado. But they soon learn the town survived small pox even though a cure won’t be available for 60 years. Plus the people cured with it are having horrific nightmares they can’t describe but sound like futuristic wars. So the Doctor and Martha investigate. And they soon learn an alien war weapon which can latch on to hosts and control their bodies, have infiltrated this part of the region which is causing the chaos. Two of them have inhabited outlaws and are trying to track down the miraculous doctor who cured the people. And the snake oil salesman, is slowly succumbing to his device and making bank off it. It’s a good period story with great suspense and action, but it was hard at the end because Martha almost dies and the Doctor has to fight off the Clade and nearly loses himself if not for her quick thinking. Still it was fun and I would love to read more with this pair.

9. Seawitch by Kat Richardson (Book #7 of the Greywalker Series)

I always knew that Solis would get pulled into the world of Harper Blaine full throttle and I always hoped that he wpuld become one of her allies so this book was great because we finally get that. And unlike other storoes, I appreciate that Harper slowly introduced him to it and talked about it before some big crazy event. It really shows how they have always had a professional respect for each other and I like that it also helped put them on friendlier levels because I think having Solid on her sode is really going to help when the big prpblems come back. Now all that said, the actual case/mystery felt really lackluster. Most of the action doesn't happen until the last couple chapters and the plot of Fielding and the Seawitch wasn't that interesting especially because he was a terrible person. Still, this one is setting up for some bigger overarching plots and the one I am most intrigued by is Quinton's dad, because I really have no idea where that will go but ut sounds like Harper might get trapped by the government and thats a really interesting turn.

[eileenthecrow]

why is disco elysium one of the best games in the world

[s0ym1lk]

I finished Disco Elysium last night and have come to the conclusion that it is, ironically, about learning how to honor history while also letting it go.

Disco Elysium is set in a world drowning in history. You spend the whole time walking through a bombed-out city, exploring walls where people were lined up and shot, bunkers filled with propaganda, and monuments that were put up and torn down and put up again. The layers upon layers of history that you dig through in every encounter just overwhelms you.

Harry Du Bois is likewise drowning in his own personal history. When you start the game, you literally wake up in the 'ruins' of Harry's own personal country - the room he'd wrecked on his multi-day bender prior to starting the game. He clings to an outdated music style and an outdated celebrity that he models himself after. He worships his ex so much that his brain turns her into a god.

It's no surprise that the most joyful parts of the game are ones in which history is erased or made irrelevant. Harry's relationship with Kim, for example, has no history to it at all. While Kim knows that Harry is a self-destructive asshole, based on the aftermath of Harry's bender that he's able to witness, Kim also begins his relationship with Harry from a point where he's fundamentally a different person, who can and does make different choices than old Harry would havea. Every time Harry's past comes up, Kim is able to relate to him in a different and more positive way, simply because the old Harry and the new Harry are different people. Contrast this with Harry's interactions with his old partner Jean. Those interactions are really depressing, because they're so one-sided - Jean is left to shoulder all of the pain Harry caused to him, but when he tries to lash out, Harry doesn't understand. For example, when Jean tries to pull a mean prank by dressing up as the reporter Harry drove away, the joke goes completely over Harry's head, because Harry doesn't remember his past OR his old partner. Jean is stuck in a cycle of trauma and abuse that he's trying to perpetuate with his actions. Harry literally can't remember enough about himself to be a part of that anymore. That's why his relationship with Kim works so well in comparison - he can leave his past behind and become a better person who has healthier relationships.

Another place you see this quite well is in the storyline for the dance club at the church. The church itself reeks of history, and not in a good way. It's abandoned, worn-out, broken, and it has a giant stained-glass window of a woman who blanketed Elysium in terrible history and destroyed it, then convinced everyone that she was a saint. The history in that stained glass literally towers over you and forces you to cower beneath it. When you help the teens turn the church into a dance club, you disrupt all that. The power and sanctity of the church's history doesn't totally disappear, because the church is still there, but it fades into the background as it's overtaken by a new history. That new history extends to everyone present. It covers the teens, all of whom are either running from a bad past or leaving the people they were behind(you'll notice Disco Elysium has a lot of characters who have become different people than they used to be). It covers Harry, who has struggled to let go of the cool person he was in the days of disco, but ends up not just writing the new anodic music but busting a move to it. It covers Soona the programmer, who's trying to essentially come to terms with her history at Fortress Accident and move on from it. It's a really powerful image, to find the seed of the world's destruction in the church and to be concerned about that, but to then turn it into a bass track and dance to it joyfully anyway. Sure, the end of the world is coming. That kind of sucks. But in this joyful moment, who cares?

Look at Harry's former relationship with Dora. You spend all this time being triggered by things related to her, like chewing gum, the Dolores Dei references, and near the very end of the game finally have a dream where she turns into a god and leaves you. Harry is obviously an obsessive person. He obsesses about Dora and turns her into something larger than life, even though she tells him frankly that she's just a regular woman. Harry tries to cling to that history by getting her back. He gives her figurines that he remembered she would like. He tells her he's a better person and that they can make it work. He can try to kiss her. He can beg her not to go. She leaves anyway. Despite Harry's desperation, you can tell as the player that this is an unhealthy relationship, and that it's good that Dora left him. You can also see how her leaving triggered Harry's descent into brokenness, and how he never truly recovered from it because he couldn't let go. I don't think it's a coincidence that Harry only manages to face this history after he loses his memory. Some of that past had to be scraped away before he could face the truth and overcome it.

Finally, the reveal of the killer absolutely drives this point home. The whole game follows the traditional detective novel arc, where every detail is a Chekhov's gun leading to one big conclusion. The footprints, the eighth Hardie boy, the drugs, the smoker on the balcony, all of it. And the kicker is that it does all come together - but not in the way you want it to. Because most of the clues are smoke and mirrors. The killer is a sad old man you've never met before hiding on an island, clinging to (you guessed it!) the past. He's drowning in history and can't let go of it. If he feels totally irrelevant to the rest of the game, that's because he is. He doesn't matter! The world let go and moved on without him. The game strongly implies that it was this moving on, and not the old man's politics, that cause him to commit the murder. When he pulled the trigger, he wasn't really thinking about moralintern supremacy or being loyal to the communist revolution. He simply couldn't watch two people steeped in history choose to let it go and find happiness together in moving on. So he killed the merc in a fit of jealousy. Everything else you track down in the game is just people trying to mitigate the consequences of that murder by protecting each other.

History is important, and paying attention to it is how we learn from our mistakes. But what Disco Elysium doesn't want people to do is to get so obsessed with the past that we get stuck in it. You can't live in a bombed-out city or a trashed hotel room forever. You have to let it go.

You may ask, what about the pale, and the end of the world? To me, the game is literally manifesting existential dread as a parallel to the player's own understanding of our world and our limited existence. We know the world will end at some point. Elysium knows it literally - it's being slowly swallowed up bit by bit. We as the players know it metaphorically. We know that we get 100 years, give or take, to live. We know that the planet is slowly being destroyed. In a way, that's our history too. And so the game says to you, it doesn't matter. You should care, but don't get so caught up in caring that you forget to live. Ultimately it doesn't really matter that the world is ending. What matters is something smaller and more personal - that you care about the people around you, that you try to help where you can, and that you dance to anodic dance music while you have the chance.

[rowansparrow]

By Any Other Name: Playlist

Hello darlings. I had lots of people send me songs that reminded them of BAON, And I think I mentioned every now and then I had certain songs in mind when writing chapters, so I thought I’d compile everything into a playlist for those of you who might be interested. :) If there are lyrics underneath a song, then that means it’s one I was actively listening to/daydreaming to when writing that scene so take that however you wish, lol. 

(My personal favorite picks have stars by them, so if you listen to nothing else I’m BEGGING you to listen to those but it’ll hurt you probably)

Enjoy, and I hope you get some cool new tunes out of this lol. 

Chapter One

***(Flashback) Reader Meets Rose: Human - The Killers “Wave goodbye, wish me well, you’ve got to let me go”

Chapter Two

Opening Night at the Rose Lounge: Yeah! - Usher (Ft. Lil John & Ludacris) ***Fives Takes the Stage: oops! - Yung Gravy Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse dance: Good Girls Bad Guys - Falling in Reverse The Captain Arrives / (Flashback) Rex tells the reader: Turn to Hate - Orville Peck “Dumb enough to take the bait, don’t let my sorrow turn to hate” 

Chapter Three:

(Flashback) Playing Sabacc: Everybody Lost Somebody - Bleachers “There’s a reason I see myself in a million faces, I reason I can’t stop it all from changing, so come on motherfucker, you survived, you gotta give yourself a break.”  Rex Calms Reader Down: Don’t Let Me Cave In - The Wonder Years

Chapter Four: 

(Flashback) Depression and Loss: The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson “Promise not to promise anymore, and if you come around again, then I will take, then I will take, the chain from off the door.” 

Chapter Five: 

***Fives and Reader in the Office: Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia “It’s a bad bet, certain death, but I want what I want and I got to get it.”  (Flashback) Rose and Reader on the Roof: Love and War in your Twenties - Jordy Searcy

Chapter Six: 

(Flashback) Rose and Reader on the Roof: Photograph - Ed Sheeran “You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home” Forgiving Captain Rex: Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself.” 

Chapter Seven: 

***(Flashback) Reader meets Captain Rex: Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery “She’s a lady, and I am just a boy. I am just a line without a hook.”  ***Rex and Reader on the Roof: If the World Was Ending - JP Saxe (Ft. Julia Michaels) “Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant.” 

Chapter Eight: 

Fives/Reader/Echo Together: Easy - The Commodores The Helmet: Unshaken - Christian Larsson

Chapter Nine: 

(Flashback) Broken Glass, Bandaged Hands: Falling - Harry Styles “What am I now? What am I now? What if you’re someone I just want around?” ***Fives’ Confrontation on the Roof: Insomnia - IAMX “You could see the madness in my eyes. I’ve lost control, please save me from myself.” 

Chapter Ten:

***(Flashback) Rose and Reader’s First Time: Dustland - The Killers Ft. Bruce Springsteen “Is there still magic in that midnight sun, or did you leave it back in ‘61? In the cadence of a young man’s eyes, out where the dreams all hide.”  ***Rex and Reader with Fives: A Letter to Georgia - The Airborne Toxic Event “Afraid of this truth that love could cause you so much pain, darling I wish it wasn’t true.” 

Chapter Eleven: 

Fives and Rex Fight: Toxic - Britney Spears (Flashback) Rose and the Children: Father and Son - Cat Stevens “From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen. Now, there’s a way, and I know, that I have to go away. I know I have to go.”  ***Rex Tells the Truth: The Night We Met - Lord Huron “I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met.” 

Chapter Twelve:

The 501st at War: Vode An (Epic Version) - Samuel Kim The Garbaks: Once Upon a Memory - Kan Gao (instrumental) Defending the Garbak Village: Bang Bang - Green Day ”Give me death or give me head. I’m daddy’s little psycho and mommy’s little soldier.”  ***Rose Sees the Missiles: A Conversation with Death - Khemmis ”As long as God in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”  ***Rose’s Final Moments: Deadman’s Gun - Ashtar Command “You’ve given them all you can give, and luck won’t save them tonight.”

Chapter Thirteen:

(Flashback) Marry Me: Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift “Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams.”  ***The Ring: Runaway Horses - The Killers (Ft. Phoebe Bridgers) “Head first into the unknown, like runaway horses, in a fever till the end.” 

Chapter Fourteen:

Rex After Umbara: Everything I Love is Broken - The Airborne Toxic Event ***The Mountains and the Sea: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie “I need you so much closer.” 

Chapter Fifteen: 

***Fives Knows: Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths “Throw yourself into the unknown with a pace and a fury defiant.”  The Outlander: Boba Fett’s Theme (The Book of Boba Fett) - Samuel Kim (Besties I am begging you to listen to this one)

Chapter Sixteen:

Out of the Fire: ONCE AGAIN, Boba Fett’s Theme (The Book of Boba Fett) - Samuel Kim. See above link. Just let the scenes segue together with this playing in the background it’ll change your life I promise. “They Called Me Rose”: Open the Door - The Mandalorian Season 2 Soundtrack.

TAG LIST:  @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex @bubblegumcat229 @generalcannoli @hellothere501stlover @in-the-crosshairs @vaderthepotater @for-the-love-of-clones @babyhowzer @imrealatedtothe501st @chewychewyque @bobafettuccini @baba-fett-writes @chromia7567 @coffeeandtodd @thedomesticatednerd @kirinpl @djarrex @a-c-lee @embarrassedauthornerd @kaorikoizumi @the-girl-of-rain-and-shadows @sammi9498 @theroguesully​ @paige6768

[tender-history]

Fic Plotting 101: How I Start from an Idea.

Hullo, hi, welcome! It’s Plotting 101 with Dee: Part One!

 Before we get started, here’s why I made this post:

 1) I get a lot of CCs asking how to approach plotting, pacing and especially story flow, and I wanted to link them all to something useful,

2) I see a lot of people wanting to write plot but unsure how to approach it because it can be overwhelming,

3) Google Searching ‘how to plot’ can be EXTREMELY scary.

 Let’s take Number 3 first. If you’re going to Google ‘how to plot’, you’re going to end up with advice on everything ranging from ‘don’t plot’ to six sheet spreadsheets with fifty columns each that wants you to put down everything from your character’s eye color to what exactly they think of instant noodles. You’ll end up with diagrams, beat sheets, templates, storyboards, and find guides that range from six-step plotting techniques to fifty-steps. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t follow that method - sometimes, if you’re a person who likes character design and questionnaires a lot, you’ll love that method. But I’m not like that, and a lot of writers I know aren’t like that either. There’s nothing I hate more than some spreadsheet asking me my character’s weight and height. And if you go down that road, chances are that you’ll just go down the rabbit hole of intricately designing your characters and settings for AGES instead of actually writing anything at all.

 So - if not through spreadsheets or beat-sheets, how DO you plot?

 If you ask me, the best plotting method is to do WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

 How do you find what works for you? You try things. I tried many different ways of plotting before I decided what worked for me. So this is going to be less a guide on how to plot and more an explanation of the ways I plot, with the hope that maybe you can find something in here to help you.

 > For me, step ONE is the IDEA.

 This is your big shiny nugget. Your driving force. This is EXTREMELY important, because no one idea is equal to another.  Some ideas are better, because they can help you do something unique, something only you can do, which makes you stand out. For the sake of demonstrating this whole thing, let’s take The Tender History of Tides. Tender History lived on my Ideas folder in my Notes app for months before I began writing it. This was my one-line quick jot-down: ‘what if I wrote non-royalty historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea?’

 Done before? Yeah. Can be done in a unique way? Heck yeah.

 Your idea is very very important because it’s the axis on which you’ll pivot your entire plot. It’ll grow and develop and change if you just give it some thought.

 So, plotting suggestion #1 right here: Keep an Ideas folder. You WILL forget your idea, however shiny it is. Keeping it all in one place helps in more than one way: 1) You know it won’t disappear from your mind, 2) Sometimes ideas can overlap, come together, and turn into a whole new story.

 For Tender History, the historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea idea very, very quickly merged with another idea I’d had: taegi dark-fic with sea-monster Tae and monster-hunter Yoongi. They were disparate thoughts, things I thought of at different times, things I then put together to create something more unique than what they would have been individually.

 I often generate ideas this way. I’ll consult my Ideas folder for thoughts I’ve had in the past, then see if they can be combined with something else to make a better shiny.

 Few examples:

 1) vhope magic shop au + but what if the whole thing is set in a game arcade?

2) taegi vampire au + but what if this was set in the fashion world?

3) vmin library au + but what if they went to a magical school?

 Combination is one way of idea generation. Other ways of idea generation that I sometimes use:

 > Use images. Go on Pinterest, check out some aesthetics, let your imagination run wild.

> Use online prompters. There are so many prompt generators floating around! For Fantasy, I use Seventh Sanctum sometimes (they have hundreds of different sort of prompt generators, and some are really good if you’re stuck on banal things like naming, or a quick character design). For fan fiction, there are prompt bots on Twitter. You can even google writing prompts, there are several websites that offer one per day, which you can then use to kick start your imagination.

 > Now you have your idea. Step TWO, for me, is developing the idea.

 This is the step where you can really stand out in the crowd when it comes to plotting. It’s great having a unique idea, but this is the part where you flesh it out.

 Here’s how I do that:

> Scribble down a skeleton of what you think the story will be: In my case, for this Taegi fic, the skeleton looked something like this:

taegi, yoongi is a detective, tae is a supernatural being of some sort, setting is joseon korea, time period is (???), wintry, monsters and murders, dark, atmospheric, there’s a romance and it’s both soft and dangerous, side: noble seokjin, scholar namjoon, doctor jimin (?). they’re in a village and there are these murders and everyone is keeping secrets. 

This, as you see, is a ramble. It’s just whatever’s in my head, being committed to paper. Now, plotting is WORK. Putting what’s up there - that ramble, that mess of ideas - into a functioning, well-paced, structured, organized plot requires you to put work into it. It’s not easy. But it’s a lot of fun. And when it starts coming together, you really feel very good about your writing and your story!

So, moving on to the actual work now:

> Write a 250 word pitch of the story. Organize your ramble into something coherent, meaningful and easy to absorb. Imagine that this is exactly like the back blurb on a book. The back blurb on a book is meant to entice you to read it. IF it’s enticing enough for you to read, then you can imagine that it might be enticing to a reader. But first - you have to make it enticing for YOU. As the writer, YOU have to feel like, ok, this is gonna be a killer story if I tackle it.

 The objective of this pitch is two-fold:

1) You have to be able to tell three things from it: the idea, the characters, and the main conflict.

2) A complete STRANGER - i.e., someone who has no idea about your story - should be able to look at this pitch and tell what exactly the story is about.

 I can’t stress the importance of this step. Often times, it’s not until you force yourself to explain your plot in 250 words that you find possible issues with it.

 Here’s how I explained Tender History in 250 words or less:

 “In late 1700s Joseon Korea, a string of strange murders sends Inspector Kim Seokjin to a frozen northern province. Accompanying him is Min Yoongi, once a scholar of the supernatural, now an indentured laborer until a debt for his crimes against the palace can be paid. Quickly taking on eccentric artist Kim Taehyung as his assistant, Yoongi sets out to find the monster that’s terrorizing the land. But there’s more to both the icy lakes and the people here. More to Taehyung and his unflinching ease at drawing scenes of death. Yoongi just needs to figure out what.”

 Note a couple of things here.

A) You as the writer knows who the important characters are, because they are named.

B) You know the setting: 1700s, Joseon Korea, icy, winter.

C) You know the characterization and how they play into this world: inspector Seokjin, indentured worker Yoongi, artist Taehyung.

D) You know the conflict: murders, monsters, secrets.

E) You ALSO, if you look deeply enough, know the inner character conflict - Yoongi has debts, he has no free will until he pays them.

 If I show this to you, a stranger, you should ALSO be able to glean these basic details from this 250 word pitch.

 It’s not easy. It just looks easy. I spent hours putting this down in a way that was completely right: precise, simple, yet very explanatory. This pitch will force you to confront what is the story, its actual plot and actual characters, and what is only set dressing. You can’t ramble about it anymore for hours. You can’t have a bunch of disconnected ideas anymore. You HAVE to fit it into something concise, something easily absorbed - not just by you, but by a reader who can’t see into your mind. 

You will also know, by putting this down, if the characters aren’t developed enough inside your head. Because why would anyone go to a wintry frozen land to catch a monster? You can’t answer that unless you know, by forcing your thoughts into coherency, that oh, Yoongi has no real free-will here.

 > Step THREE, marry external and internal conflict.

 Or this is step 1.5, actually. You cannot plot a story without both external and internal conflict. Or, you can, but then you won’t touch your readers as much as you would want to.

 What do I mean by this?

 Your external conflict is something that exists outside of your characters - your regular villain, say. This is your Darth Vader, your Voldemort, your Capitol.

 Your internal conflict is what your character feels. This is HARDER. In Hunger Games, Katniss ponders and combats her own ruthlessness. In Harry Potter, Harry’s desire to fit into the world and live a normal life continuously contrasts with his own fame and the symbol of hope he becomes.

 In Tender History, my external conflict is very fancy: murder, monsters, scary villages, etc. Internal conflict is a lot less so: Yoongi in this fic continuously has to wrestle with feelings of guilt and unfairness, with wanting to do good but feeling too burned by the system. If you’ve read Murmuration, the external conflict is the Scarab, but the internal conflict is their own ambition, their guilt over what they had to do to survive, their (terrifying) loyalty to each other.

 Internal conflict is where you find your character voice. If I’d set Tender History Yoongi in a celebrated position at his job, he’d be a much different character. His voice would be much different. He has power! He has resources! Versus this Yoongi, who has nothing, and hence has to trust the people he’s allowed to work with to tell him the truth.

 Think of it like peeling the layers:

 1) The Idea,

2) Develop the Idea,

3) Fill in the External Conflict,

4) Fill in the Internal Conflict.

 I have a few major rules I follow at this point of plotting. They’re like this:

 1) Are these the right characters for my story? - This means I do a round of thinking about whether these people are the perfect vehicle to tell this story I want to tell. Great, I want to tell a story about wintry Joseon Korea, and monster-fighting. But. Is indentured-worker Yoongi the best person to carry this? What if I make him a village leader instead? What if he’s a runaway prince? What if he’s the monster? Depending on what you want your story to be, you have to think of your character to fit the telling. In Romance of Old Clothes, I chose Tae POV for the whole thing because I wanted to illustrate his reading of people vs. other people’s reading of him. Taehyung’s internal conflict in that fic was that he lies to himself extensively. He’s got this idea of who he is, which is untrue, which is then broken down in a climactic moment. He’s my perfect character to tell that story, because of his obliviousness. Similarly, in Tender History, Yoongi’s the perfect character to tell this story, because of who he is in society, his internal troubles, and his monster-hunting experience.

 2)What are some details I would add to this world? - I have a basic idea of the conflict, the world, and the characters now. This is where I take out a chart or a notebook and get to work. I do this like a mindmap: I jot down anything I can think of - say, okay, Joseon Korea: food, art, paintings, caste system, civil examinations, scholars, winter, roads, Confucianism, shrines, religion, music, monsters, gender roles. Then I begin detailing it. ‘Food’ for example: royals eat different food from commoners eat different food from untouchable castes or peasants. Summer food is different from spring food is different from winter food. When I read about food for this fic, I read about the ‘barley gap’ or the gap between barley and rice cultivation during winter. People historically starved during this time. If my story is set in winter, this is an important detail.

 Let’s take something more contemporary. I’m writing about a vintage clothes store. Details I would need - clothes, brands, size of the shop, layout of the shop, how do they procure clothes, how do they test authenticity, what are their customers like, who do they interact with, where is their shop in the city, what does being in that locality mean, what seasons are busy for them.

 A mindmap is just a page full of words, questions, things you know, things you don’t know. Filling it up is the next major step.

 3) What is character development going to be? - This is very important. Okay, you have an external and internal conflict. Now, start of the story being point A, and end being point B, what exactly is A and B for my character? What do I want them to become? In Romance of Old Clothes, Taehyung at Point A is lying to himself about his own nature. By Point B, he’s able to identify that he needs to let people in, open up more. In Wonder Woman, Diana at the beginning of the story is rather naive, believing that if only she could destroy the God of War, the whole war will end. By the end, she understands and admits that things are not that black and white - that people sometimes fight wars because they want to, not due to some external influence.

 You have to know this to continue.

 Step 4, in how I plot, is to put down a starting scene, a few story beats, and the rough idea of an ending.

  But I’ll get into that - and more, including pacing - in Series 2 of this series of posts! Please let me know here or on twitter if these are helpful, or if I’m just rambling too much.

Since I am now struggling a lot to balance writing with work, and if you want to help me keep on writing posts like this, please consider donating to my ko-fi.

I also made a post on how I world-build, the tools and templates I use for the same: it’s over here!

 https://tender-history.tumblr.com/post/185910085044/on-research-worldbuilding-and-culture

[reivenesque]

Jay Halstead Whump Fic

A seemingly random series of attacks in Chicago targeting men and women of various ages, races and backgrounds ends with one of Intelligence’s own fighting for his life. His co-workers and friends; his family, are forced to confront the fact that one of them might not walk away unscathed this time around – if he manages to walk away at all.

Okay guys, the day no one (including myself) thought would ever come! I’ve finally decided to take the plunge/make the commitment and finally put this story out there for the world to see. Also seeing as I started writing this a couple of seasons ago so some characters who are deceased or have departed are not deceased or have departed in this universe.

--

Mission Objective

Chapter 1: The Case

They had three victims from three completely different backgrounds; three different ethnicities, age and gender and no matter how deep they dug through the trash the only thing they could find linking the victims to each other was the M.O and the fact that at the end of the day it just seemed to be a completely random series of attacks perpetrated by the same person for absolutely no reason.

“All victims were stabbed twice, once in the flank and once in the side. We believe he came up from behind and surprised them; the first stab wasn’t meant to kill, only to incapacitate. They also had bruising around the neck to support that theory. The second was to keep them down. Two of the three victim suffered multiple broken bones, bruises and contusions and internal damage from a beating but all three died as a result of severe blood loss. Whoever this guy is and whatever he wants from them, this guy has got some serious beef with these people.” Antonio finished his assessment and returned back to sit perched on the side of his desk.

“The only thing in common in these cases are the M.O’s,” Jay started, “The victims have nothing in common that we can find that links them to one another. Yvonne Miller: thirty-seven, mother of two. No priors, no record, nothing to indicate that she was anything other than a squeaky clean mom who does carpool on the weekdays. Hubert Harris the Third, fifty-three,” Jay placed special emphasis on the title, “Drill Sergeant in the army for over twenty years, no criminal record, no priors, not even a parking ticket. The fact that he went through life, much less the army and up to the rank of Drill Sergeant with the name Hubert Harris the Third meant that this was definitely not a guy to be messed with. And Javier Herrera, twenty-seven. Just got back from two tours overseas, spotless record on all fronts and an absolutely stand-up guy from what we gathered from the people who knew him. Had no beef with anyone. He was attacked in the alley behind his house; DOA. No witnesses in any of these cases.”

“Well the fact that their faces are pinned up on that board and their bodies lying cold in the morgue meant that they definitely had beef with someone, and I want to know who, where and why,” ordered Voight, his gravelly voice almost rumbling through the walls of the bullpen of the Intelligence headquarters of the CPD. “And I needed that information five minutes ago.”

A chorus of ‘yes, Serge’s rang up as everyone dispersed to return to their own desks.

It was a case they’d been working on ever since the discovery of the first victim, Yvonne Miller, a widowed single mother, in her apartment by her landlord almost three weeks ago. She died as a result of shock from the blood loss at the hospital later that day. The second victim died on the way to the hospital and the third was dead before the first unit was even the scene and neither CPD nor the Intelligence Unit was any close to identifying the killer. The best lead they had was a next door neighbour of the second victim hearing the sound of a male voice yelling what, according to him, sounded like Arabic, in the apartment the evening before the victim’s body was found. They’d found nothing to indicate that it was a racially motivated crime however. And there were no cameras at any of the exits or on the street and no one saw anyone coming or leaving the crime scene at any point before or after the attack, so they found themselves up against a brick wall in regards to that lead.

Essentially, they had bupkis.

So getting the call that another victim had been found beaten in his apartment later that morning did nothing to ease the tweaked up nerves of everyone working the case, only the fact that he was still alive and was on route to Med kept most of them from wanting to punch a wall.

“Troy Hargreaves,” said Will Halstead who was waiting for their arrival at the entrance of the hospital, starting his assessment without waiting for the go ahead, “Thirty-two; stabbed once in the lumbar area and once in the lower right abdomen, multiple contusions to the torso, broken ribs, ruptured spleen. He’s up in surgery as we speak. His injuries look severe but I’m optimistic about his chances. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that this definitely fits the same pattern as the other victims.”

Voight scrubbed his face with his hand almost like a nervous habit, but anyone who knew him knew that Voight didn’t get nervous. Most likely it was out of frustration and anger. They weren’t any closer to catching the guy and from what little they could deduce, it didn’t seem like he was likely to stop until he got whatever it was he wanted or whoever it was he wanted.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of sitting around with my thumb up my ass watching this guy get one up on us again,” said Voight, the frustration obvious on his face, not acknowledging Olinsky coming up behind him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

“It’s late, we’re all fired up from this asshole giving us the run around. I’ll wait for the vic to come out of surgery and update you on what I can get from him, the rest of you – go home, rest up and come back fresh faced in the morning,” said Olinsky, “Well, as fresh faced as you ugly lot can get,” he added with a wisp of a smile; his voice soft and his characteristic as of calmness extending to the rest of the team.

“Al’s right,” said Voight after a beat, exhaling tiredly. “Go home.”

“You sure, boss?” Ruzek asked, looking around at the rest of the group. It was obvious that the offer was the most tempting to him though all of them looked equally dead on their feet after almost going almost forty-eight hours without sleep trying to find the perp before he struck again only to have found themselves left in the bloodied dust trail once again.

“You gonna make me say it twice?” asked Voight with a stern look in Ruzek’s direction.

“No, boss,” said Ruzek immediately, arms raised in front of him.

“Then get the hell out of here.”

None of them struck around to be told a third time.

“I swear to god I’m gonna put two bullets right in the middle his face when we catch this bastard and then go home and sleep like a baby,” said Ruzek as he and the rest of the team made their way down the hospital corridor towards the exit.

Usually it’s be one of them – Ruzek, Kim or Atwater tasked to stay behind because they were the newer members, but Al had insisted and none of them really wanted to be alone with Voight in a closed space while he was in that particular mood.

“I definitely second the suggestion,” said Kim a little too heartily.

“Get in line,” said Hailey. The threat would have come across a lot more menacing had she not been in the middle of a yawn; her arms stretched high above her head like a cat.

“Well I for one would be happy if we managed to even catch the guy and put a stop to all this,” said Atwater. “That’d do my sleep a world of good already.”

Jay had many things to add to the conversation but the strength to say none of them. He was tired, physically and mentally so he just opted for an amused chuckle from where he was walking just a few steps behind the rest of the team

“How about a drink at Molly’s before we turn in?” suggested Ruzek once conversation had begun tapering off. “God knows we could all use a stiff one– or five.”

Atwater was immediately down for the plan though Hailey and Kim both seemed equally undecided.

Jay however wasn’t in the mood for the drink or the company. He was too wired from the lack of sleep and too much caffeine and quite frankly too pissed to be good company. Something about the case, especially the fact that two of the victims were Vets, just struck a chord in him. He always felt a strange sort of camaraderie, whether they were the victims or the perps, when it came to people who’d served. He imagined the victims being someone he knew, someone he served with – a brother. At the same time, the person who’d committed the crime could have just as easily been someone he knew or someone he served with.

Hell, it could have just as easily been him.

If it hadn’t been for Mouse being there for him – if there hadn’t been the thought in the back of his mind when he was at his lowest that he was just as much Mouse’s crutch as he was his; if it hadn’t been for the police force giving him an outlet to channel his silent rage and his trauma and anxiety, he could have just as easily turned out to be one of the people he put away.

Sure he had Will and maybe his dad to some extent, but they didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand. They weren’t there. They didn’t experience what he experienced. They didn’t see what he saw. They didn’t feel what he felt: the fear and helplessness and shame.  

And they definitely couldn’t deal with it – deal with him, the way Mouse had been able to – by just being there, but just understanding without having to be explained; by knowing without having to be told.

Will had the natural instinct to want to fix everything; to find a source of the ailment and apply a treatment and a cure – that’s what made him such a good doctor.

But Jay didn’t need a doctor, he needed a brother and that was something Will was unable to be to him at the time. Their relationship had improved much since then, but still when situations like this arose, the absence of Mouse felt so much more apparent.

Jay knew he wasn’t going to be such good company – he could already feel like anxiety levels getting progressively higher the longer he remained in the vicinity of the hospital. Hospitals all smelled the same and had the same kind of aura pulsating off it. It didn’t matter if it was on home soil or in some run down building in another third world country – it always smelled the same and at that point Jay just wanted to be home.

“Nah, guys,” said Jay. “I think I’m gonna turn in early.”

“You sure, Jay?” asked Ruzek. “You’re gonna miss out. Atwater’s paying. This phenomenon only happens once in a blue moon,” he said with a mischievous grin. “Pigs might even fly!”

Atwater scoffed. “Yeah, Jay. I’ll be doing the paying with money from Ruzek’s pocket. You won’t want to miss the spectacle. I don’t think anyone but flies have ever seen the inside of his raggedy ass wallet.”

“I’ll have you know, Atwater, that I was voted ‘most generous’ by the whole sophomore girls swim team for two years in a row.”

“Yeah,” said Atwater, completely deadpan. “I’m sure teenage you was definitely generous with something.”

“Hey!” objected Ruzek, mock offended.

“Anyway,” said Jay, cutting into the conversation, “Based on this conversation alone I’m sure it’s gonna be a hoot and a half, but I think I’ll pass, You guys have fun though,” he said, which in Jay-speak meant that the conversation was done.

The girls had opted to join in for ‘just one drink’ which was usually code for ‘more than one drink’, but once Jay decided on a course of action, it was very hard to change his mind.

“You’re seriously no fun, Halstead,” said Ruzek teasingly at his retreating back.

“I’m loads of fun,” said Jay from over his shoulder, “Just with better company than you.”

Ruzek’s response was a hearty laugh topped off with a middle finger salute but Jay had already stepped around the corner and out of sight and didn’t see. He felt no need to turn back for a second look at his team; he’d see their ugly mugs in the morning anyway.

He took a detour to find Will on his way out – which was ironically easier in theory than in reality, especially considering it was his brother’s place of work – to take a rain check on their bi-annual game night get together. They hadn’t had one in a while, what with the influx of work on both their parts, and despite their insistence on not cancelling this time no matter what, Jay really just wasn’t in the mood or the headspace to want to be around anyone.

Jay wondered whether they should just cancel it all together because making plans was never something that aligned with their day jobs.

Fortunately Will wasn’t too disappointed by the cancellation, mainly because he’d been on the same train of through, only slightly more hesitant about it. He’d just come off a double shift and like Jay was planning on spending the night in the company of his own bed, which was a completely acceptable reason in Jay’s book.

They shared a hug and a casual insult before Jay finally stepped out of the hospital, into his truck and drove out of the parking lot with a roar of the exhaust.

Nothing else of importance happened the rest of the day.

tbc.

[kineticallyanywhere]

so, you've talked about bad time travel storylines, do you have any examples of time travel storylines you thought were really well executed?

That’s really hard to answer because most of the time I hit a time travel story I like but then the story keeps going and the longer it goes the less I like it (see The Flash, see Homestuck) usually because they pull a retcon where multiple characters get character development we don’t actually get to see (The Flash s3, the retJohn). I want to go on about RvB’s use of time travel, but I’m hesitant to because they’re not done using it and part of me is still waiting to be burned (though I doubt they will, and even if they do the strength of every RvB character would carry me through it easily). All this thinking about it recently though has gotten me to realize what elements keep me in a time travel story:

Don’t skip out on character progression. Characters are allowed to start off as killers and end as pacifists, but for pete’s sake I want to see it. Convince me of it. Maybe you can do this to a character in the background, but don’t slide major protagonists in and out of entire relationships with characters they’ve spent years despising on a whim and a montage without expecting some readers/viewers to throw up a lot of question marks. (Time travel with great great character progression: Legends of Tomorrow.)

Ask not just if you can, but if you should. This is my most subjective point, I think, but if you’re not asking this question, even in passing, then why are you making your writing life this difficult? Why are you using time travel at all? And don’t just leave the question hanging, give us your answer. If you think that if we have it we should use it, they yell it from the rooftops. If you think that trying to change what we’ve already done is a waste of our energy and there’s a reason we don’t have time travel irl, then lay it on us. If you’re not getting philosophical even a tiny bit, you aren’t having enough fun. (Time travel that lays this out in one of my favorite speeches of all time: Red vs Blue)

Stick to your own rules. If your time travel created a new universe, keep making new universes. If your time travel works in loops, complete all your loops. If you’re changing your own universe, for the love of CRAP decide whether you’re making duplicates of yourself when you do and stick to it. (Honestly, this one mostly just annoys me. If 1 and 2 are done well enough, I’m usually willing to let this go.) (Time travel that plays by it’s own rules: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

I know how this might sound to some people, but I think the Star Trek reboot movies actually do these. It’s been a while since I’ve watched them, but they (#3) make new universe out of the new timeline, and they stay in it. They live with that consequence. (#2) Old-Spock being around makes you wonder what of his knowledge of the old timeline still applies. Should they even use it, or have things already changed too much for most of it to be relevant? (In Kahn’s case, at least, it comes in handy.) I don’t remember if they go into this much, but the question is still there. (#1) Finally, none of them suddenly become different people than the ones that were introduced at the beginning of the movie “because time travel”. The characters change from the original series because the timeline has changed (some characters are dead, new historical events have happened), but after that there’s no jumping around. Reboot-Kirk doesn’t suddenly become Old-Kirk just because now he knows there is/was a timeline where he got to know his dad.

I also liked the 9th and 10th Doctors on Doctor Who, the 4th Pokemon movie, Meet the Robinsons, Interstellar is a mind-bender but I liked it, Gravity Falls had some fun time travel, that one Kim Possible movie, Danny Phantom: Ultimate Enemy, I liked the show Heroes but I’d have to watch it again to tell you if it counts as good time travel overall cause I remember it being kinda sketchy, Madoka Magica, and then I haven’t watched it myself yet but I’ve heard great things about Steins Gate, and probably like six other things that I’m forgetting.

[dccomicsnews]

[Editor’s Note: This review may contain spoilers]

Director: Hanelle M. Culpepper

Writers: Jonathan Butler and Gabriel Garza

Starring: Grant Gustin, Candice Patton, Carlos Valdes, Danielle Panabaker, Tom Cavanaugh, Jesse L. Martin, Hartley Sawyer, Neil Sandilands, Kim Engelbrecht, Miranda McDougall, Arturo de Puerto, Bethany Brown, Leonardo Nam, Morena Baccarin (voice)

  Summary

As Team Flash attempts to track down the last Bus Meta, Ralph contemplates a final solution for DeVoe while Joe grows concerned over Harry’s erratic behavior.

Positives

This episode hit all the right high notes, focusing specifically on the main threat as well as internal problems on Team Flash. Surprisingly, the only duo that were working in tandem for once were Caitlin and Killer Frost. But more on them later. For now, once again, we focus on Ralph Dibny’s education as a superhero. While his self-serving, opportunistic nature as a slimeball P.I. has slowly eroded, there still remains the parts that fail to understand the line between hero and vigilante. Yes, the easy answer to the Thinker is to kill him, but how does that make Ralph any different than the guy who has been body snatching just to live? The writers pulled off a great move by establishing that it’s an altruistic motive as opposed to self-preservation. Ralph has a real family in Team Flash, and, unlike the deterioration of his parents’ marriage as a boy, he can and is willing to go the extra mile to keep them safe. This puts him in direct conflict with Barry, who has gone down that path before with both Thawne and Zolomon with abysmal collateral. Once again they butt heads, but this time it’s a difference in ideology rather than their past animosity. Great CGI in this standoff, by the way.

Another subplot that deserved resolution is Harry’s new addiction to his Thinking Cap, which Joe can recognize from his own experiences with his late wife’s alchoholism. An addict doesn’t know they are an addict until they hit rock bottom. Harry has developed a dependency on the very technology that turned a history professor into a psychotic madman and has lost confidence in his own brilliant mind. Tom portrays the actions of an addict perfectly. The scene in which his desperation to find his missing Cap escalates into his willingness to harm Cisco to get it shows the depth of his obsession with it. What also works is that when the S.T.A.R. Labs raid happens, Wells caves in to his addiction as opposed to fighting it off. It’s too soon a revelation, and based on his brain being jumbled by exceeding the power output despite warnings from Gideon, he hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. His addiction even gives their adversary the upper hand, both during the raid and in the epilogue. Now, like the title suggests, Harry is losing himself to this Thinking Cap much like DeVoe has.

The raid is perfectly written, as DeVoe demonstrates both his mastery at misdirection and his ruthlessness in claiming both Null’s and Folded Man’s powers and bodies before taking Ralph’s. The brawl between Marlize and Iris was good, and feels tragic considering Marlize is not in control of her faculties. The loss of Ralph Dibny is a shocker, given the character isn’t a throwaway like the other schlubs on the bus. He has a real history in the comics with Barry, and an amazing story arc in Brad Meltzer’s Identity Crisis. His last words give the feels; Barry had done his job and had saved his soul when he would’ve gone lower without his help. The taking of Dibny’s body for DeVoe allows him to morph into his original form, thus bringing Neil Sandilands back to the stage. What is also surprising in the climax is the depowering – or De-Frosting – of Caitlin Snow. From last season till now, she has had an amazing character arc learning to accept her darker personality. Now that it’s gone, Danielle’s performance conveys a genuine sense of loss. She believes that Killer Frost has redeeming qualities, but is similar to a child trying to figure out how to convey them. DeVoe essentially raped her and robbed her of that opportunity. Her reaction shows how far she’s come, whereas before she would have seen this as a mercy.

Barry’s reaction is also very realistic and poignant. Grant’s restrained sorrow and guilt is felt. For once, he doesn’t want to rely on “We are The Flash” with Iris to get him through this. He’s playing it from strength. He’s the rock of the team and has to act like it. The final scene in Ralph’s office and that shot of Gingold feels very noir-like and remorseful. Like Killer Frost did with Caitlin, Ralph left his mark on Barry. A character who started as the bane of Allen’s existence had become a student and close friend, and he feels like he failed to protect him.    

Negatives

Speaking of schlubs from the bus, the only weak point is The Folding Man and the hippie angle. I think I was with everyone that shared the same reaction to the first shot of him: “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Maybe that was the point. Besides Melting Point, he was a meta not out to cash in on his powers like Roulette or Null or the others this past season. I think he was the highest throwaway this year because outside of being a low-level version of Vibe or Breacher, where was the use for him? Although de Puerto delivered a great performance as a DeVoe-possessed Edwin, the characterization was a man out of time. He was way too “far out.”

Also, I really wish that Barry would put a halt on the idea of revealing his secret to new metahumans. There’s no reason why he can’t just let on The Flash is working with S.T.A.R. Labs on this case. Eventually, the case will be closed, and these people will know the true face of The Fastest Man Alive. Also, Marlize as a martial arts assassin isn’t believable, although this is the wife-to-wife throwdown that some fans have been waiting for since the trial. This episode should have shown further brainwashing; the fans know she is being victimized by her husband for his own ends, but throwing in a scene of her being drugged prior to this would have made the tragedy more evident.

  Verdict

Flaws aside, this was a game-changer. Two members of Team Flash are down for the count, The Thinker has nearly all of the bus metas and has stabilized his condition, and Wells’ mind is unknowingly jumbled. I look forward to how this will resolve itself in the coming final episodes this year.

  Review: The Flash 4×18 “Lose Yourself” Director: Hanelle M. Culpepper Writers: Jonathan Butler and Gabriel Garza Starring: Grant Gustin, Candice Patton, Carlos Valdes, Danielle Panabaker, Tom Cavanaugh, Jesse L.

[talkurtalk]

Some of My ~Favorite~ Ladies

I was tagged by @ialwayscomewhenyoucall to share some favorite female characters of mine, ten from ten different fandoms. I did tweak the rules a bit to involve real-life fandoms because I don’t *have* too many tv/movie/etc fandoms... All I can say: it’s definitely not the EASIEST thing ever but it was super fun to figure out : ) 

The rules are to list ten of your favorite female (characters) from ten different fandoms and then tag ten different people.

WARNING: I did *this* on a whim late at night and just hit submit, so if there’s any spelling errors or anything I apologize now...

I started from ten and counted down I guess on how much I love the person/character

So let’s get started! : )

10. Kim Possible (Kim Possible) - Possibly my first ever “favorite character”, I watched this show all through my childhood and I was so bummed when it got canceled. It was so cool as a kid to see this badass warrior who was an average girl behind the scenes. She fought ultimate evils that tried to take over the world, then went back home and stressed about homework and drama at school just like everybody else.

9. Angelica Schuyler (Hamilton) - This is a much more recent favorite lady since I’ve just finished watching the musical and listening to the soundtrack a couple of months ago. I fell in love with the character Angelica after listening to Schuyler Sisters, Satisfied, and Congratulations for the first time. She is just such a strong character who is willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the happiness of others she cares about, and who is willing to bite back when someone wrongs her or the ones she cares about.

8. Midge Maisel (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) - Another extremely strong personality, I started watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel just recently on a whim on Amazon Prime and I fell IN LOVE with it. I love the humor of the show and especially of the leading lady, who can be prim, proper, and reserved at times; then get arrested for a stand-up comedy gig that was just *too* “raunchy” for the time.

7. Elizabeth McCord (Madam Secretary) - If you couldn’t tell by now, I have a thing for strong, confident ladies who know how to kick some ass, whether it be with their fists or their pure intellect. Secretary McCord is one of these, and for good reason. She always speaks her mind, even if her opinion on what should happen contradicts that of even the President. She’s made mistakes and accepts that fact about herself, and only uses what she’s learned from making those mistakes to become better.

6. Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural) - This quirky chick played by the marvelous Felicia Day is absolutely one of my most favorite characters ever, purely for how pure she is. Even in her darkest moments, she knows how at least to crack a joke, and the actress who plays her is just as cool. I actually got to meet Felicia Day at Denver Comic Con this past summer, and even though it was just for a quick autograph and conversation, all I can say is; she is SO COOL.

5. Lady Gaga - My first non-fandom favorite, Lady Gaga has been one of my biggest role models most of my life. I first discovered her music when I was seven because my dad has always had this policy of “sure, let her try it” on... absolutely everything. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing, but I’m still standing so I mean... Anyways, I just think she is such an amazing person with an amazing set of pipes who uses her “two-cents” to spread some positivity and respect, especially towards those who don’t receive it normally from those around them. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who doesn’t have at least one Gaga song they like. (And she has an ADORABLE dog)

4. Kate Beckett (Castle) - Aside from Kim Possible, Detective Kate Beckett was my first favorite character. I’ll admit I stopped watching Castle during the later seasons before it was canceled, but I will always love the show and specifically Beckett. Despite her “rough” exterior, she always managed to show empathy and sympathy towards others when they needed it, sometimes to comfort the family of a murder victim, and sometimes to wind a killer down from killing another, or themselves.

3. Angela Montenegro (Bones) - If you hadn’t noticed by now, most of my time watching tv is spent on crime shows. Bones was a show that my mother absolutely loved, and though I was never as huge of a fan of it as she was, I can still say that one Miss Angela Montenegro is one of my favorite ladies of the fictional world. An artist with a feisty attitude and a warm heart, I could relate to this character pretty well most all the time. Sometimes her want to do what she felt was right would end up making things worse, but she still always said what she meant and meant what she said, only worrying about the consequences after the fact.

2. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) - One of my all-time favorite characters that I do believe I will love forever, is Luna Lovegood. From the first time I read Harry Potter in elementary school, I loved her character. Obviously, like most other girls my age I also loved Hermione (and i still do), but I always felt a bit more “connected” with Luna I guess. She had her own way of doing things completely different than anyone else's, and she was brave enough she could be a Gryffindor if she’d wanted to be, as she always put herself out there, not challenging the world’s opinion, but just sharing her own so that others might see it and agree, or disagree with it. Plus, the spectra-specs are awesome. I need me a pair of those.

1. Taylor Swift - And finally, possibly my favorite person in the world, one Miss Taylor Alison Swift. Taylor’s music, bubbly personality, and overall love for her fans have made it so I’ve only grown to love her more over the years. Her music has gotten me through some tough times in my life I’m honestly not sure I might’ve gotten through without her, and I am eternally grateful. She’s the one human being that I know I can always depend on outside of my dad to be there for me (in a sense), and the one artist I would willingly drop everything and go for if it meant I got to see her or meet her. (Of course, that is if I’m allowed to financially haha) Truly, Taylor Swift is my number one role model, favorite celebrity, and I’d like to think a kind of long-distance, haven’t-met-you-yet, kind of best friend.

For the ten I tag to do this next: @frecklesandconstellations @skymelody14@tayalongwithme @wanderingcas  @invisiblelocket  @martinplier @silent-screamswildest-dreams @caslikescoffeeandfreckles @tessakayy @swiftreputatlon

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY GETS HER MAN

S1;E21 ~ February 24, 1969

Directed by Jack Donohue ~ Written by Fred S. Fox and Seaman Jacobs

Synopsis

Harry's old Army buddy is working in Counter-Intelligence and needs a stenographer to help get the goods on a suspected spy (Victor Buono). Naturally, Lucy gets the assignment.  

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter), Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter), Desi Arnaz Jr. (Craig Carter)

Guest Cast

Victor Buono (Arthur Vermillion) was a character actor whose screen career began in 1959. He was nominated for a 1963 Oscar for his portrayal of Edwin Flagg in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, which he quickly followed up with Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte, both starring Bette Davis. He is perhaps best remembered for playing arch-villain King Tut on “Batman” (inset). Buono died in 1982 at the age of 43.  

Buono uses a thick middle-European accent as Vermillion. According to the dictionary, ‘vermillion’ (or ‘vermilion’), describes a deep, brilliant shade of red. ‘Red’ is slang for a communist, based on the color of the communist flag, which ties into the spy theme of the episode.   

Mary Wickes (Isabel) was one of Lucille Ball’s closest friends and at one time, a neighbor. She made a memorable appearances on “I Love Lucy” as ballet mistress Madame Lamond in “The Ballet” (ILL S1;E19). In her initial “Lucy Show” appearances her characters name was Frances, but she then made four more as a variety of characters for a total of 8 episodes. This is the first of her 9 appearances on “Here’s Lucy.” She also played Isabel in “Lucy Goes on Strike” (S1;E16). Their final collaboration on screen was “Lucy Calls the President” in 1977.

Wickes only has 40 seconds of screen time at the very start of the episode.  Before Mary Jane Croft joined the show, the character of Isabel was intended to be a secretary friend of Lucy Carter’s who works in her building. Wickes only played the character twice before moving into different characters for the rest of the series.

Robert Carson (Buzzy Brock) was a busy Canadian-born character actor who appeared on six episodes of “The Lucy Show.” This is the second of his five appearances on “Here’s Lucy.”

Buzzy was an Army Colonel at the Pentagon during World War II. He got a Purple Heart when his desk collapsed! He is currently working with 'Counter-Intelligence'.

Chicago Tribune, February 24, 1969

This is the third spy story on “Here’s Lucy” in just five months, preceded by “Lucy's Impossible Mission” (S1;6) and “Lucy and the Great Airport Chase” (S1;E18). Spy series' such as “Get Smart” and “Mission: Impossible” were tremendously popular at the time. Craig mentions a show called “Spy Mission” and Kim talks about “Counter Agent,” both made-up TV spy programs.

Lucille Ball and Victor Buono were both featured in “Like Hep!”, a Dinah Shore special that aired a few months after this episode. In it, Ball did a variety of sketches, including one set in a speakeasy with Buono as a mob boss.  

Upon arriving at work, Lucy off-handedly says “another day behind the iron curtain.” The Iron Curtain was the name for the imaginary boundary dividing Europe into two separate areas from the end of World War II in 1945 until the end of the Cold War in 1991. The use of the term contributes to the spy nature of the story, but seems a bit precipitous considering the plot has yet to be revealed! 

Isabel calls Harry Jack the Ripper, comparing him to the famous London serial killer. There was also a character named Jack D. Ripper in the 1964 iron curtain comedy Dr. Strangelove. Could this be another vague and precipitous reference to the episode’s theme?   

After Isabel and Harry continually bump into one another going out the door (doing a sort of ‘after you’ dance) Harry calls her St. Vitus. Saint Vitus (290-303 AD) was a child saint from Sicily. In the late Middle Ages, people celebrated the feast of Vitus by dancing before his statue. The name "Saint Vitus Dance" was given to neurological disorders like epilepsy. It also led to Vitus being considered the patron saint of dancers.

We learn that Harry was an Army major during World War II and worked at the Pentagon.

Buzzy calls Harry 'Foamy' because he wore out twelve foam rubber cushions on his swivel chair. Clearly Buzzy and 'Foamy' (aka Harry) were desk jockeys during the war. The script doesn't specify, however, why Buzzy is named Buzzy.  

When Kim comes home from school, she asks her mother if Jerry called. Presumably, Jerry is her boyfriend. Jerry was also the name of Lucy Carmichael's son on “The Lucy Show.” She uses her childrens’ questions as a memory test for her upcoming spy assignment. 

Kim says her birthday is the 17th of next month. In real life, Lucie Arnaz's birthday is the 17th of July.  

The song Kim and Craig play for Uncle Harry, to show him what life with teenagers in the house might be like, is a jazzy version of “I Know A Place” by Tony Hatch. The song was recorded in 1965 by Petula Clark. It is here performed without lyrics with Kim dancing and Craig playing the drums. Lucy danced to the song in “Mod, Mod Lucy” (S1;E1). Clark will do a guest appearance on the series in season 5, although she will not sing “I Know A Place.” 

When Lucille Ball enters Vermillion's hotel suite at the (fictional) Crescent Palms Hotel wearing a black wig, she gets a round of applause from the studio audience.  

If the horse statue in Vermillion’s hotel room looks familiar, it is likely the same horse used later that year on the set of “The Brady Bunch” (1969-74). Both shows were filmed at Paramount Studios. Similar horses also turned up on “Bewitched” (1964-72) and in the film Bell, Book and Candle (1958) starring Ernie Kovacs. This iteration of the horse statue has its saddle and reigns painted black, but they are otherwise identical. Equine statuary was quite common in mid-century decorating. 

Vermillion, under the guise of a greeting card writer, dictates correspondence to 

Gregory Schmidt, General Delivery, St. Louis, Misery 

and another to 

Igor Shaffsky, Hotel Scimitar, Istanbul 

He eats his notes.  Is he really a spy or just really hungry? 

When Vermillion looks around the room to see that they he and Lucy are alone, the soundtrack plays “Mission: Impossible” style music. The TV score by Lalo Schifrin was extensively used in “Lucy's Impossible Mission” (S1;E6).  

Victor Buono is best known for his role in the Bette Davis / Joan Crawford 1962 horror film What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, a movie that was mentioned on “No More Double Dates” (TLS S1;E21). Lucy Carmichael rejected the film for date night as “too scary”.  Coincidentally, both shows were the 21st aired episodes aired in their first seasons!      

This is not the first time Lucy has mined humor from being sat on by a larger actor. She was underneath a tubby tourist (Audrey Bentz) in “The Tour” (ILL S4;E30) and a girthy granny (Reta Shaw) in “Lucy Misplaces $2,000″ (TLS S1;E4). 

Lucy Ricardo also “wore a wire” when trying to record a confession by who she thought was a Texas oil swindler in “Oil Wells” (ILL S3;E18). Both times her urge to be wired for sound was misguided. 

Thinking they were enemy agents, Lucy Ricardo also spied on the “New Neighbors” (ILL S1;E21). Like Vermillion, the O'Briens were not who Lucy first assumed they were but they sure talked a good game! 

This is not the first, nor the last, time Gale Gordon will get into unconvincing drag without shaving off his mustache!

FAST FORWARD!

On August 16, 1971, Victor Buono and Lucille Ball were both guests on “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson”.  Kaye Ballard was the musical guest. 

Vermillion is not the last character to be a writer of greeting card verses... 

It would also be the occupation of Ben Fletcher (Don Knotts) when “Lucy Goes on Her Last Blind Date” (S5;E16).

Sitcom Logic Alert!  Craig just happens to own a pocket-sized miniature tape recorder. Doesn’t every teenager in 1969?

Color Blind! Vermillion tells Harry (as the Bellboy) that he “never wears blue” yet he is clearly wearing a powder blue tie. Is he just trying to get rid of Harry through intimidation? 

Product Dis-Placement!  The brand name of Craig’s drum set is partly taped over. The top loop of the ‘R’ reveals that it is made by Rogers. Founded in 1849 in Farmingdale, NJ, by Joseph Rogers, the company went out of business in 2006. 

Where the Floor Ends!  In the lower right corner of the above screen shot, viewers get a glimpse of where the Carter’s wall-to-wall carpet ends and meets the cement stage floor! 

“Lucy Gets Her Man” rates 3 Paper Hearts out of 5

A nearly five minute scene without Lucille Ball, when Kim and Craig convince their Uncle Harry to keep an eye on their mother, is a bit awkward and too long. Mary Wickes is given virtually nothing to do in this episode. Her lines could just as well have been spoken by an uncredited day player. Lucille Ball's scene with Victor Buono, however, is quite good and Gale Gordon in maid drag (with his trademark mustache) is well worth the wait. The surprise ending actually makes sense and is very funny, if a bit abrupt.    

“Ja. Yust like mama!” 

[floralseokjin]

;a fragment (m)

pairing— kim seokjin x reader, warlock! seokjin genre/warnings— supernatural, smut, some type of fluff, angst, fantasy  words—  22,361

:: summary— Who's the mysterious guy that’s just appeared in your life and plagued your dreams? He's been showing up ever since your “friends” convinced you to do a ouija board in the old, creepy house that looks over your town. Your brain tells you to be afraid of him, but your heart tells you something different… Why aren't you scared of him? You’re intrigued by the handsome stranger, and you want to get to know him better…even if it proves fatal…or eternal…

This is a stupid idea.  

Your thoughts weren't doing much good stuck inside your own brain, so you decided to voice them out loud.

“This is a stupid idea, guys.”

They didn't do much good once shared either. In fact—no one listened to you. If it hadn't been for the scoff that fell from Sana’s mouth you would have thought they both hadn't heard you at all, but thinking about it, that just made it worse. They brushed your concerns under the carpet and carried on as normal, making their way up the pathway that led to the old house on the hill. You trailed behind them, already feeling your heart rate begin to race and your hands begin to tremble.

It wasn't like you believed the stupid old legend your town had, but it wasn't like you were jumping with joy at the prospect of entering the dilapidated house either. The story had been going around for years — decades even; well before you were born anyway. Legend had it, that a creepy old man used to live there. How many years ago is uncertain, but some say centuries ago. Obviously, the tales had been over exaggerated, from him being a child killer to some sort of wizard. The extremes were laughable, and you had more chance of believing he was a ghostly killer than you ever would believing he was some sort of wizard. You'd seem Harry Potter and you would put money on the fact that there was no Voldemort living here.

It didn't stop you from being scared though. People said his ghost haunted the foundations and the land of the house, and the last thing you wanted to be doing was a stupid ass Ouija board in the damn thing. Yes, that's right—a Ouija board, that your so-called friends were making you do. Of course, you didn't believe in these tales, but you had to admit, some downright creepy stuff happened here. Over the years there had been many instances where objects had appeared out of nowhere in the house, new furniture taking root and even fresh paint on the walls. It was even stranger because no one lived there. Like you said it was pretty much dilapidated from the outside, but inside was a different story. It was beautifully decorated and spotlessly clean. You'd been in there a few times when you were young; morbid and childish curiosity that sent shivers up your spine to think about now, but of course, it had been daylight back then. Now, it was pitch black, just gone 11pm and you were practically shivering in fright as you entered. The large front doors were never locked and that's what made it creepier—who the hell lived here?

The scent hit you first as you stepped through the threshold, door creaking loudly; floral notes, maybe cherry blossom, it definitely smelt pretty though—pretty and pink, not suiting the atmosphere at all, as you followed Sana and Beci down the hallway and through a wooden door to the left, finding yourself in a large dining room.

You gasped in awe, the room dimly lit by the moon, and you failed to notice the little chandeliers that were attached to the wall; already turned on and helping you see better—this place was beautiful. The walls a dark turquoise, adorned with photo frames, upon closer inspection filled will photos that looked old; lands you'd never seen before and you realised they must be places you could only dream of visiting—stuck here in this small town. In the windows hung purple velvet curtains and in the middle of the room sat a large oak table, six matching chairs around it. You couldn't remember it looking like this when you were a child, so whoever lived here must have decorated since. If the rest of the house was as stunning as the dining room, how come no one had bought it yet?

You'd heard stories of it once belonging to an aristocrat back in the early 1900s, and after she died no one ever did anything with it. It was still in her name, and she hadn't left it to anybody in her will. The council couldn't do anything like destroy it because it was on protected land or something that you didn't understand, nor really want to. All you knew was that if it was possible to buy, people probably didn't want to. They'd heard the stories and they were pretty damn believable now that you were inside the place.

“Guys, this really is a bad idea,” you repeated, watching them warily as they began setting up the Ouija board on the table, a heavy scraping noise filling the room as Beci moved one of the heavy chairs. “This place is scary.”

“Quit being such a baby, Y/N,” Sana groaned, already sitting down and placing the dial at the bottom of the board. “If you don't like it—go home.”

You ignored her belittling to shoot a look back at the hallway. You wanted to leave, but the thought of walking home alone scared the hell out of you. Instead you grumbled to yourself and stormed towards a free chair, dragging it towards them, the sound echoing around the room, making it ten times eerier than what it was before.

“Great!” Beci celebrated, sarcasm evident in her voice. “You're finally living a little.”

“Hmm—only because she doesn't want to walk back alone,” Sana hummed, and you bit back a retort.

There was nothing you could say. She was always like this when you were both around Beci. You often wondered why you still called her your best friend—why you called either of them your friends. Maybe you had outgrown them, but at eighteen you thought the time to make new ones was gone. Didn't it get harder the older you were? At this point your only chance of forgetting them was when you moved for college.

“Just come on!” You rushed, bravely sticking your forefinger on the dial, ignoring the way it shook.

Why had you even bothered coming here in the first place? You should have known trying to fit in was silly. Sana and Beci would have been just fine without you—they wouldn't have even missed you.

“First of all, we need candles,” Sana grinned with suggestive evil. “To set the ambience,” and you watched her reach in her bag and pull out a couple of tea lights and a box of matches. With the candles lit the room felt even more creepy and the game started. You all put your fingers down; you on the left, Beci in the middle and Sana to the right. You felt your stomach churn. You'd never done a Ouija board before, for obvious reasons, since you were one big scaredy cat, and you had to take deep breaths to calm yourself down as Beci spoke loud and clear to the room, your heart racing a mile a minute.

“Is there anybody here?”

Your heart stood still for what felt like forever as you watched the dial, and you almost thought nothing was going to happen, your body instantly relaxing, relief washing over you, until you felt the dial vibrate a little and begin to move, all of your digits going with it until it glided to the word that you knew was going to put you into an early grave.

Yes

Beci squealed in terror, her eyes darting around the room, until they found Sana’s, “did you move it?!”

“NO!” She exclaimed, “don't look at me—and don't look at her either—” she added, when she saw Beci look at you with wide eyes. “—like hell would she do that.”

You were too busy being traumatised, stuck staring at the dial, your fingers not even white with pressure seeing as they were just hovering. None of you had done it—whatever was in this room had, and suddenly you got the sensation that there were eyes watching you…

“Just—quick! Ask another question!!” Sana urged, her voice a desperate whisper.

“Fine!” Beci muttered under her breath, trying to stabilise the tremble. “W-What's your name?”

The dial began moving again, slowing jutting across the board until it spelt out something.

Guess

By this point all of you were too scared to utter a word, and you don't know how long you just sat there starring at the board, until Sana sighed in annoyance and asked a question.

“Are you the old man that haunts here?”

No

And then after another minute or so of spelling again.

There is no such man

You weren't even sure your heart was still beating anymore, and all you wanted to do was up and run, but your legs felt like lead.

“A-Are you an evil spirit?” Sana asked, although her brave resolve was slipping.

Define evil

With that you all looked at each other in shell shock, your faces pale and no hint of playfulness in neither Beci’s or Sana’s. You went to speak, your mind not even caught up on what you wanted to say at first, but you knew it had something to do with ‘let's go!’ However, before you couldn't even form a syllable something came crashing to the ground behind you, and you all turned to see a glass, like something you saw in chemistry class, had fallen off the sideboard, and with that another slid clean off the wood, as if the room was built on a slope.

“Oh my god! End it now! End it now!” Beci practically screamed, all your fingers pressing down hard on the dial as you moved it to ‘Goodbye’ just as the lights on the wall began to flicker on and off.

“We’re sorry to bother you, we’ll go,” Sana rushed and as soon as the dial hit its destination you were all scarpering up, collecting everything, but leaving the candles there as you bolted, out the door and down the hallway as fast as possible and as you left the threshold you tripped, landing on your knees and palms with a thud.

“Ouch—guys—guys! Wait up for me,” you called to them, but they carried on running and you scurried back up again, feeling your heart thudded against your chest, and you stupidly took one last look at the house, your eyes traveling to the upstairs window on the right and what you saw almost killed you right there and then.

In the window was the figure of a man. From here he looked like he could be a couple of years older than you, his body so still he looked like he could be a statue, his hair almost looking pink in the moonlight and as you stared with wide eyes, unable to look away, he grinned at you, and like waking up from a trance, that's when you bolted. Rather try to catch up with your so-called friends who had ditched you, than spend another moment in this god forsaken place…

You told no one of what you saw, not even Sana and Beci, because you knew they wouldn't believe you anyway. Ever since that night they'd acted as if nothing had happened, even despite what had. Maybe they didn't like to show they freaked out, even though it was perfectly fine. It had been a ghost—you’d seen a ghost, right? That was the only explanation… Just you had never expected a ghost to be so handsome and so… not-scary. Granted you had been frightened to death at the time, but the more you thought about it, the more you began to feel at ease.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact every night since—five nights—you'd seen him in your dreams. You weren't sure at first because you maybe had made him too handsome, too magical for his own good. He never spoke and he ever really did anything in your dreams. He was just there in the background, looking as mysterious as he had that night. You probably should have felt frightened to death seeing as you may or may not be getting haunted by a ghost and you were too dubious to tell Sana or Beci, even if they were experiencing the same thing; they'd only laugh at you.

You'd gotten used to the dreams seeing as you barely remembered him in them, but then something different happened. You saw him in real life, and that had your heart racing in your chest. In the coffee shop with your mom of all people. She'd been adamant that you spend some motherly-daughterly time together and you were fine with that until she started talking about how your life was going.

Truth be told you hadn't been happy for a long time. You were so unlike your friends it was painful. It was okay when it was just you and Sana; you two had been best friends since you were ten years old, but Beci showed up in freshman year and just…changed her, if that was possible. Now, they were more like best friends and you were the odd one out. Granted, since then you'd gotten a boyfriend—Jaesu, but that's wasn't going too well either. You'd been together for nearly six months and at first, you'd been beyond happy—he was the guy you'd liked since you were fifteen, but again, something told you, you were too different.

It was as if you didn't fit in anywhere—with anyone at this point. You'd thought it before, but you couldn't wait for college. You couldn't wait to move and get out of this crappy town. You wanted to travel and you wanted to meet other people—people like you.

As you were deep in thought, whilst simultaneously lying to your mom, the hairs on the back of your neck began to prick up, as if you were being watched and you looked up from playing with the rim of your cup, straight into the eyes of the handsome stranger. You'd been stunned but had looked down instantly, in quiet hysteria.

That was him. The guy from the house and your dreams. Your mind raced, and although fear was your first emotion, you slowly realised that this must mean he was real. He wasn't a ghost, not if he was in a coffee shop getting served by someone. He was real and even more beautiful than you remembered. Your eyes curiously watched him again, this time his attention not on you as he paid for his beverage and you were shocked to realise that he did indeed have pink hair. You didn't know why you were so surprised—this was the 21st century after all, but something about him looked so clean cut, you would have never imagined him to have such a wacky hair colour.

Your attention was diverted back to your mom as she called your name, asking you another question you didn't want her to know the answer to, and when you finally had a chance to look back at the counter, the mysterious stranger had gone. You felt oddly disappointed, but shrugged it off. It wasn't until you were lying in bed that night that you realised if the pink haired guy was real, how the hell was he living in that creepy old house, and why hadn't he shown his face before? If he wasn't a ghost, what was he? An active member of society? —then why hadn't you ever seen him before?

The next time you saw him was a week later and you were almost sure you could’ve blamed it on the alcohol at the stupid house party you'd been forced to come to, but that would have been stupid. You had drunk one drink. One. So, seeing the mysterious stranger there was not a figment of your imagination. It was very much real. He was very much real.

Again, instead of feeling scared, you took the opportunity to turn investigator. You were pretty sure you'd seen him in the kitchen making conversation with some drunk kids that has once been a year above you in school —another reminder that he was in fact, very real. If others could see him, what else could it mean?

He was wearing a black leather jacket and black pants and he looked good, if the flutter in your heart was anything to go by. From the glimpses you'd seen of him he could only be a couple of years older than you and you figured he must go to the local college. Maybe he'd moved here not too long ago—he was new? This town may have been quite small, but it was easy to miss some people. As for being in that creepy old house…maybe he lived there now? Maybe he was a distant, distant relative of that rich woman who used to own it. It had to be. There was always a logical reason for everything…

However, for you tonight—there wasn't. There was no logical reason as to why you were leaving your friends to go into the kitchen, not even wanting a drink. You were just curious. Curiosity has always been something you'd ignored, too fearful of what could happen regardless of the situation, but since this beautiful stranger had come into your life, safety was out the door. By the time you got to the kitchen, he was gone. The group of guys still there but him nowhere to be seen and you quickly looked around, your head moving back and forth to search the house.

Your eyes found pink quickly, seeing him slink through the crowd in the living room and you bolted after him, unsure of why you were acting so creepy. You had no reason to want to follow him, but as you manoeuvred your way through the same crowd, your eyes frantically searching once again, you saw a flash in the corner of eye and turned to the stairs, seeing him make his way up them and you made eye contact once again—the same as in the creepy house and the coffee shop. Only this time he smiled—well, it was more like a smirk and your insides did a jump of excitement, not even thinking about what you were doing until you were going up the stairs too. There was no real end game to this—what would you say when you got him alone?

However, that never happened because as you got to the hallway and began to look for what door he'd gone through, your name was being called and you turned around quickly to see Jaesu had followed you up the stairs.

“Y/N, what are you doing in here?” He asked, his tone flirty as he slinked his arms around your waist. You let him do so, but kept searching with your eyes, confused as to where the stranger had gone to.

“You want to be alone?” Jaesu whispered in your ear and you were only slightly aware of the insinuation in his voice as his lips pecked against your neck.

You began to disagree, a no leaving you, but then you realised what could you tell him? You'd been upstairs looking for some guy you didn't even know really existed? It was stupid, so instead you humoured him for a moment, reaching for his lips and kissed him back.

“You don't know how much I want you right now…”

There it was. You knew he had an ulterior motive. He always did. It wasn't that the thought hadn't entered your mind, but you just weren't ready. Which was strange to you because Jaesu had been the guy you'd crushed on for so long. You'd really imagined yourself losing your virginity to him, but each time the occasion arose you just knew you didn't want to. You weren't ready, no matter how much he seemed to want it.

“Not here,” you whispered, using being out in the open as an excuse, watching a couple of girls walk past you in the hallway.

“Why not—we’ll go into a spare room. It’ll be fine,” he murmured in your ear, trying to persuade you. You could smell the alcohol on his breath and you realised he was very drunk right now. You hadn't really spoken to him much since you got here so you hadn't realised he got so intoxicated—you should have guessed.

“I don't want to right now,” you whispered harshly, pulling away from his grip, totally forgetting about the pink haired stranger now. In fact, you just wanted to go home.

“You never do,” he accused, tone changing now as he grew annoyed and suddenly you felt very stupid. Didn't he understand that you just didn't want to yet? He was supposed to care for you, not make you feel like you'd done something wrong.

“Jaesu…” you began, not really knowing what you were going to say anyway, but he interrupted you, his hands reaching for your hips again to pull you further.

“Come on—OW!”

You stared wide-eyed as you watched your hand come out on its own accord and hit Jaesu square in the stomach. What the hell? Was it some kind of knee-jerk reaction? You swore you never even thought to hit him. You went to apologise, still in shock.

“Oh my god, I swear I didn't do that—

“You’re such a prude,” he sneered, his face changing as he clutched his stomach and you were even more taken back then, surprised by his outburst. You got that he was drunk and probably not thinking straight but that didn't give him the right to talk to you like that.

“You think I’ll just wait around for you all this time?”

“Wha…?” You murmured, not understanding what he was getting at.

“Maybe there's someone else,” he bit out and you felt your stomach drop. He'd been cheating on you? The guy you'd thought was the one had been seeing someone behind your back?

“She seems to be way more into me than you ever are.” He shot and you just stood there, your mind blank. You were into him. Why couldn't he see that? Just because you didn't what to have sex with him didn't mean you didn't like him—you just weren't ready. You'd said countless times.

Who was this other person? Who did he want more than you? And then he spoke again and the house began to spin, insinuation like acid on his tongue.

“Maybe I picked the wrong friend…”

The name came to you instantly. The one person who had never been fond of you. Someone who had to hang out with you because you were friends with Sana. She didn't like you, not really—you knew that. She didn't care about your feelings. It was her. It had to be.

“Beci?”

Her name came out like a question but you didn't need to see the confirmation on Jaesu’s face and you bolted, pushing past him and running downstairs, leaving before you could even look around the house. You didn't want to see Beci—you didn't want to see anybody.

Monday came around soon enough, having spent the rest of the weekend crying and ignoring any phone calls from Sana and Jaesu. There were none from Beci, not that you expected any. For all you knew, she didn't even realise you knew. You were upset, but you didn't even know who with. You did like Jaesu, or you were sure you had, but you guessed sometimes reality never lived up to the dream. All those nights spent daydreaming about him when you were young were just that—not real. The guy you'd made up in your dreams wasn't the guy you had. You were more upset about the shitty situation.

Did nobody care about you? Did Beci hate you that much? You didn't even want to face her today, but you couldn't bunk off school. You couldn't tell your mom what had happened, so instead, you had to suck it up and hold your head high. You wouldn't let them get you down. They were welcome to each other.

You arrived at the school gates to find a commotion, what looked like the whole school surrounding the first building, some looking down at the floor, some huddled together speaking in hushed tones and even some crying. You were confused but couldn't help the anxiety that was bubbling up in the pit of your stomach, especially when you saw an ambulance as you shuffled through the crowd. Why was no one inside? What had happened?

“What's going on?” You asked a random group of people, craning your neck to try and look over the hordes of people and the yellow taping that hid something you guessed wasn't good, behind it.

“Oh, Y/N!” One of them said, and you recognised him as a guy from your math class. He looked worried at the sight of you and you watched him carefully. “Don't look—something bad has happened…”

You felt more panic wash over you, unsure why they would look so worried at the sight of you and just as you were about to ask what they were going on about, the crowd began to part and you saw the paramedics begin to wheely a—body bag—into the back of the ambulance. You stared wide eyed, wanting to ask who it was. What on earth had happened? But then you heard her name and your blood turned cold.

Beci.

“Someone said they saw her about to walk up the stairs to the roof but she wouldn't answer them when they asked where she was going.”

“Do you think she did this on purpose?”

“She wasn't suicidal, was she?”

You could hear the buzz of people's voices murmuring what had happened and asking questions, but you weren't really paying them much attention. She was dead? Beci was dead? It had to be an accident, there was no way she would do this on purpose. There was no way she could have done it because she knew you found out, right…? She didn't care at all about you. It didn't make sense. She wouldn't have felt that guilty that she…chucked herself of the school roof. Something else must have happened…something at home maybe?

Your head was spinning as you walked away from the tragic scene, stopping dead on the side of road as you watched the ambulance speed off and then you began to look around again, maybe hoping to find Sana…or even Jaesu…just a friendly face that could make you feel a little better.

Instead, your eyes caught a pink head, just behind the school gates beside a group of pedestrians that had stopped for a look in curiosity. The handsome stranger. It was him. Over the weekend’s drama, you had forgotten all about him until now, and instantly you were curious again. What was he doing here? Was he stalking you now? It sure felt like it and suddenly you got the urge to confront him. Your nerves were already all over the place and you weren't thinking straight, already beginning to walk over to him.

As if he saw you coming, he was already turning his head and walking away from the crowd and you shouted for his attention, a fuzzy “Hey!” leaving you as you made it to the crowd of strangers, but as you rounded them he was gone and you groaned out in frustration. Were you going mad? It sure felt like it. You were seeing a man with pink hair everywhere you went, your boyfriend had been cheating on you with your so-called friend, and now that friend was dead. Dead. She was gone, and you didn't know how you felt. Somewhere deep down you knew you should have been sad, upset even—crying, but nothing came out. You told yourself you were in shock. That you needed answers and your hectic brain told you where to get one set of them from.

The house on top of the hill.

It was cold out today and the walk to the house was a good twenty minutes away from school. By the time you got there your brain was numb, which was a good thing because you didn't have the time to think properly and second guess yourself as you pushed at the familiar large door, not surprised to find it was open, the scent or cherry blossom hitting you again.

This time as you walked down the hallway, you didn't feel so scared. It was definitely eerie, but since it was broad daylight outside, the house was lit up almost. It was almost nice. You had to admit it was decorated beautifully. You edged your way to the dining room that you'd been in no more than a week previous and looked around the door. Everything was back in its place—no smashed glasses and no candles from your Ouija board there anymore. You felt a shiver run up your spine at the thought of someone in here cleaning up, but then shook your head, telling yourself you were stupid. It had to be that stranger.

So instead, and very stupidly, you decided to explore the house. Maybe he was already back and you'd find him…maybe he was playing games again and hiding… You ignored the first floor in favour of the talking the stairs that lend up to the bedrooms, your hand trembling as you held the bannister. This probably was a stupid idea, but right now, you didn't care. You wanted to know who this guy was and the best place to look was an office or his bedroom… Maybe you were just dicing with death, but after the weekend’s events and now Beci, you were too disoriented to care.

You made your way down the hallway, ignoring the shiver that wanted to travel up your spine. There were no windows here and the place was pretty dark, except for a little light shining up from downstairs. There were four doors, but only one was open, as if it was all set out for you. You ignored the sick feeling in your stomach and walked towards it, careful not to make a sound, after-all, the back of your mind was telling you that you were trespassing. Sticking your head around the door, you couldn't help but let out a little gasp of amazement. This room was beautiful. Dark purple walls with wooden flooring, a four-poster bed made of the same coloured wood with pink and purple sheer fabric draping over it, like something from a film. There were a couple of photo frames on the walls up here, but not as many as in the dining room. You couldn't make them out from where you stood anyway because the curtains were drawn at the windows.

You slowly walked in, still in awe at the room and moved towards the cabinets that filled the side wall, running your hands along the top of the old wood and admiring the patterns on the front; like something out of a vintage shop, no telling how old they were. There were so many objects adorning the counters your eyes didn't know where to look. Little trinkets with pretty patterns, candles, incense sticks in jars and books that looked not even possible to exist, in languages you'd never seen before.

You stopped by a dressing table, glancing at your reflection in the big mirror before your eyes caught a wooden box, similar to that of a jewellery box, with pretty, intricate patterns carved into it. You ran your fingers over the indents, totally forgetting where you were, as you lost yourself in the room, picking up the box to inspect it further. You wondered what was in it, guessing some type of necklace. It must be something very old if going by this room was anything, and curiosity took over you, opening the lid before your mind could process it. The inside was padded with velvet and placed against it was a small bottle filled with a clear liquid, a label written in some sort of numerals you couldn’t understand. You couldn’t be sure—because it was pretty dark in here, but the substance seemed to be shimmering in the light, an iridescent pink flowing through it. You went to pull it out of the box, even more curious now, but as your fingers wrapped around the bottle you heard a voice, crisp and clear and you jumped, nearly dropping the box all together.

“I think you should put that down.”

Your whole body was frozen, your heart not daring to beat, feeling as if you were in a horror film. You knew you had to look and see where and who the voice was coming from and you slowly looked up into the mirror, meeting the gaze of the pink haired stranger behind you.

“It's very, very old,” was all he said and you thought: he didn’t look angry. His voice didn’t have an edge to it either, more so friendly than anything, as if he was explaining an artefact in a museum.

You had no clue what to do. He had caught you in his bedroom, you could only presume, and you knew you should probably run, but for some reason you stayed glued on the spot. It was dangerous, yeah, but you’d came here for a reason and you wanted to know who he was. Call you stupid, but you just didn’t care anymore. Morbid inquisitiveness had taken over and your mind was still muddled from the weekend and this morning. Who cared what happened to you? You most certainly didn’t at this point.

“W-Who are you?” You stuttered out, clutching the box to your chest as if it could protect in some way.

“I think I'm the one who should be asking you that,” he quipped, giving you a pointed look, “it is indeed, the second time you've been in my house after all.”

You were silent. You had nothing to say at that. You may have been wondering why he was turning up everywhere you went, but it was in fact, you who was actually in his house, rooting through his personal belongings. Every time you’d seen him had either been in a public place or in his home, so really, you didn’t have a leg to stand on…

“I'm Seokjin, to answer your question,” he introduced himself anyway, after he watched you inwardly panic, eyes wide and your brain instantly thought to answer him.

“I'm Y/N.”

At the sound of your own name, you winced, silently kicking yourself. Why did you tell him your name? It was stupid, but before you could do anything about it, he was taking a step towards you, so close his body was nearly touching you as he outstretched his hand to close the lid of the box. The light thud echoed around the room and you watched his hand as he took it out of yours, setting it back on the dresser.

“So, Y/N,” he hummed, “what are you doing here?”

This wasn’t what you had imagined, that was for sure. He seemed normal, not knowing what you’d be expecting, but if his house had anything to go by, with all the strange things, it definitely wasn’t this. He was even more handsome up close, his skin was perfect, his eyes large and shining as he looked at you with one eyebrow cocked, waiting for you to reply. Your gaze fell to his lips, large and plump, before you reminded yourself to answer, stuttering like a fool once again.

“I-I’ve seen you around town.”

“Wow—imagine that, seeing me around in a small town like this,” he shot sarcastically and even though you knew you shouldn’t, you couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“So, tell me, Y/N,” and the way he practically sang your name had your stomach doing flips for reasons you couldn’t explain, “—do you like turning up at people’s homes when you just so happen to see them around ‘town’?”

You swallowed, unsure of what to say. When he put it like that, you couldn’t really explain yourself, but you knew in your heart that he wasn’t a normal person. There was something about him—even now, stood in front of him so close you knew he had to be real, but your head told you something else. There was something off about him, not necessarily in a bad way, but something different anyway. So, you decided to be 100% honest.

“No one’s supposed to live here.”

“And why is that?” He questioned, moving back a little and finally you were able to breathe a little easier. “Because people say it’s haunted?” You stayed silent, unsure of what to say. There had been stories for decades saying this place was haunted; he couldn’t have been living here all this time—he wasn’t that much older than you!

“Of course, it could be,” he mused, walking to his bed and leaning against one of the posts, his arms folded casually as he pondered with himself and you watched him awkwardly, eyes glancing to the open door as your mind thought about making a run for it. You weren’t scared, but your brain was beginning to tell you that this was the stupidest idea you’d ever had.

What if this Seokjin was a murderer? Maybe this was how he lured in his victims? With his mystery and beauty. It was just like a film and you were too young to die yet. You still had so much you wanted to do. You were regretting being so reckless.

“This house has been in my family for years…” Seokjin was still going on and you brought your attention back to him. He was babbling so maybe you could slip out without him knowing.

“I won’t stop you, if you want to leave, you know?” He suddenly said, watching you carefully, an amused look on his face and your mouth fell open, mortified that he’d caught you trying to plan your great escape.

“I just thought you’d like to talk, seeing as you came all the way up here on your own accord,” he shrugged.

He was right. You probably did want to talk. That’s why you were here, right? At least he seemed to know who you were. You didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. That meant it wasn’t just a coincidence when you’d see him about, no matter what he tried to play it off as.

“That was really terrible, what happened today,” he carried on, once he was sure you weren’t going to scarper. “What a terrible accident,” and the way he said the word didn’t sit right with you. How did he know it was an accident?

“You knew her, right? Beci? She was your friend…”

Your eyes widened upon hearing her name and you looked at him in shock, watching a grin on his face as his eyes flashed, watching your reaction intently as if wanted you to question how he knew all this. The question was on your tongue already, but you bit it back, deciding to play him at his own game. Maybe he knew it because she was here last week doing the Ouija board. You had after all seen him in the window. It must have been him messing with you guys…but how…? And know Beci was dead… You shuddered at the thought, but again; you didn’t feel fear when you looked into the stranger’s—Seokjin’s, eyes…

“You’ve been stalking me,” you stated, relaxing as you folded your arms across your chest and watched for his reaction, feeling brave.

“Pfft, stalking is a strong word, don’t you think?” He shot back, stance matching yours as he straightened his shoulders. His broad shoulders, you may add, but you shrugged the thought out of mind… You wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery.

“I could call the cops on you.”

He scoffed then, walking towards you once more, “and say what? A guy you think doesn't exist is stalking you?”

You opened your mouth to speak—how did he know you didn't think he existed?

“How do you know—

“They won't believe you, and anyway,” he quipped, grinning as he reached his hand out and gripped your arm, “see! I’m real!”

His touch sent shock waves through your body, a warm buzzing in your veins that you had never felt before and definitely not when Jaesu had touched you and you looked up at him, breathing deeply. What was going on? You should be running for your life, instead you were sharing a moment with a total stranger…

“If anything, I think you’ll find I can call the cops on you,” he murmured, gaze still on you as a small smile twitched on his lips. “Breaking and entering…twice!”

“Your front door is always open,” you shot before you could stop yourself and he let out a loud laugh, amazed by your confidence.

“You really aren’t afraid of me, are you?” He mused and you looked away from his intense stare, shaking your head.

Confused, yes…afraid, no…

“I thought so—it’s…invigorating…” he thought out loud, letting go of your arm and you instantly unfolded them, dropping them to your sides. “So…I guess you’re here to ask why I’m following you?” He asked and you nodded your head defiantly, wanting to come off strong and independent, not like the pathetic school girl you probably were.

“Well,” he began, his fingers tracing patterns into the wood on his dresser as he thought, “ever since I saw you in my house I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. You just keep…turning up where ever I am…” he grinned, catching your eyes as you looked up in protest and you grumbled to yourself, aware he was teasing you.

“It’s fate, really,” he contemplated. “You seem like you need new friends…”

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked defensively. Did he know what had happened Friday night? Had he heard you and Jaesu arguing? You were so very confused and it didn't help Seokjin was being so cryptic.

“Oh, nothing…” he shrugged, “they just don't seem to know you at all, that's it. You're here right now, when everyone else is crying over that dead girl,” and the way he spoke so blunt about Beci made your heart still.

You should probably feel sadder right about now. The girl you had known for over two years was dead. Just like that, and you hadn't really given it much of a second thought, not since you'd began talking to Seokjin anyway. Why were you so hell bent on meeting a stranger than you were comforting Sana right now, who was probably incredibly upset and inconsolable… It didn't make sense. Nothing did… How come in a fifteen-minute conversation you'd felt more at ease with a stranger than you ever did with your so-called friends…it had to mean something…

“That dead girl has a name,” you shot.

“I know—Beci,” he nodded. “The one who's been sleeping with your boyfriend behind your back,” and your eyes widened in shock at his outrightness.

He must have heard that night! This was all too much to handle. You didn't have anything to say. By the way Seokjin was looking at you it seemed he knew you weren't upset by today's turn of events. In shock—yes, but sad? You didn't even feel like crying. Did that make you a heartless bitch? Probably, but Seokjin didn't seem to care, in fact, he seemed amused by it…

You wanted to ask him more things about himself. He seemed to know an awful lot about you already, borderline creepy, but you knew nothing at all about him, but just as you were about to ask where he came from—the most important question of all—your cell began to buzz in your pocket.

You fished it out, already certain it was your mom and you were correct. She had probably heard the news. Maybe the whole school had got sent home and she was wondering where you were. You couldn't worry her, so you let it ring off and then stared at Seokjin, not really wanting to leave, and not sure why you hadn't just answered the call-in front of him.

“I should go,” you told him, although you heard yourself that you were unsure, as if you wanted him to convince you to stay.

“It's probably best—your mom must be worried. She cares about you,” he agreed, and you frowned in confusion. What an odd thing to say. Sweet, but odd…

You nodded, feeling shy all of a sudden and a little bit sad as your conversation had been cut short. You didn't know the next time you'd be able to speak to him again and you definitely didn't want this to be the last. You slowly walked to the door, turning back to see him watching you intently.

“W-Will I see you again?” You asked, cringing at yourself.

“I suspect so,” he smiled, his eyes flashing again. “This town is small after all.”

However, you didn't see Seokjin for two more weeks. You were about to give up hope all together. Maybe he'd just been messing with you this whole time. Even though a lot of things happened in those two weeks, time seemed to drag by. Jaesu apologised and asked if you guys could get back together, siting something along the lines of “it's taken Beci’s death to show me what I had…life's too short to not go and get what you want, and I was stupid to see that all I wanted was you.” It was cringe and you were pretty sure in the back of your mind he didn't mean it, but you accepted it and took him back. It would make for an easier life and you guessed you all needed to stick together now. The school was still in shock and you didn't want to alienate yourself from all your friends, not when everyone kept coming up to you and saying their condolences. Little did they know that you still hadn't been able to cry—even at the funeral, and you had gotten over the tragic accident as it was written off as, very quickly.

You hadn't been able to think of much other than Seokjin, even when everyone tried to make life return to normal, you were still hung up on the person no one new existed—or not to the extent you did anyway. You were sure Sana had long forgotten about the Ouija board at his house and you didn't blame her, but here you were, keeping your eyes out for Seokjin everywhere you went. You only had that one conversation to replay in your mind and the more you did, the more you convinced yourself there wasn't something quite right about the guy…

He couldn't use his good looks to fool you. First, he said the house had been in his family for years, but how…? As far as everyone here was concerned, the house belonged to no one. Maybe he could have been a distant relative of that rich old lady, but if so, where were his family? Parents? Siblings? It couldn't just be him, even if he was here for college. You couldn't believe that his parents would just allow him to live in a house that had so many stories, regardless if he didn't seem fazed. Which then begged the question—how long had he been living there, and how come you were only noticing him now? At this rate it would have just been easier for him to be explained as a ghost…it hurt your head less.

If he was a mere human, just like you, then how did he know so much about you? Jaesu cheating on you, Beci’s name, there when she died… Granted he seemed to be near when all these things happened but how much of it could be a coincidence that he was there all the time? You were sure he had been following you, and for some reason you weren't afraid—you had after all, gone to his home first and then a second time, exploring his house and looking through his things. You were both as bad as each other, however there was one difference—he knew a lot about you, more than he was letting on, and you hardly knew anything about him. His name and where he lived. That was all.

The more you thought about him, the more you began to wonder. Your trawled through your mind and remembered back to everything you'd seen on his cabinets. No normal guy his age would have such weird ornaments and trinkets. Books in different languages, and you recalled seeing one English word…magic, that sent your brain into haywire. You didn't remember seeing it at first because you had been so distracted, but now you did, and the unspeakable entered your brain. Something you were certain didn't exist but could explain everything so perfectly. The Ouija board…hitting Jaesu when you didn't even mean too…even Beci falling to her death… It was all unexplainable, unthinkable…but it could be… and your mind went back to that iridescent liquid in the wooden box…

You were almost certain by the next time you saw him—but you still needed to hear it from his mouth himself, to know you weren't crazy, even if he did laugh at you, although you were certain he wanted you to know anyway. Why else would he try to make himself so noticeable? You were half way home from school when the time happened, having to walk because Jaesu had left without you. You saw his pink hair in the distance as he was walking towards his car. A car?! You didn't even know he had one, some type of black sports car that looked like something from the 90s, but still shiny nonetheless and you gawped for a moment, Seokjin driving a foreign concept for some reason.

Before you knew it, you were calling his name, running across the road without even looking to get to the opposite sidewalk, watching him look up with a smile, not even shocked to see you—as if he knew you were there all along…he probably did. He liked good today—like every time you'd seen him; dressed in some type of black tight pant and a white t-shirt, his leather jacket over the top and his pink hair flat to his forehead, making him appear younger.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grinned, the familiar flash in his eyes again and you looked down, suddenly feeling shy. You'd run over so brazenly and now you didn't know what to do. He was still a stranger—you just knew his name.

“Wanna ride?” He asked, opening his car door and you shot your head up, sure his hand hadn't even been on the handle, but as you looked for answers he was too preoccupied with getting in the driver’s seat, key already in the ignition.

You nodded without thinking, a half-excited yes leaving you in almost a yelp before you ran around the back of the black vehicle, opening the door to get in the passenger’s side. He began to drive as soon as you put on your belt and it only then came to you that you didn't know where he was going. You'd presumed he was giving you a ride home, but you realised soon enough that he hadn't asked where you lived. You watched him drive in silence for a moment, mid hysteria, before he stopped at a junction, the left turning towards your neighbourhood (which how did he know where you lived?!) the right leading away from it—obviously, and he flicked each indicator in turn, a smirk on his face as he looked at you.

“Which way, doll face?”

Your head was telling you left—to go home and thank him for the lift like a normal person, but your heart was screaming at you to say right. You weren't ready for your second meeting to be over yet, you hadn't even said two words, and as if he read your mind, he winked, turning the right indicator on as he sped out the junction.

“Right it is, then.”

You let out a loud breath, dispelling your nerves as you began travelling, not really sure where as he left the inner town and began to hit the outskirts. Again, you should have felt afraid, but once more the only anxiety you felt was because he was sitting so close to you. You'd only met him twice but you already felt closer to him than anybody in your real life. It was an instant calming feeling and you relished in it. After ten more minutes you spoke, the silence wearing you thin and you guessed Seokjin must have been waiting for you to make the first move.

“I haven't seen you in two weeks,” you said, trying to make a statement but you sounded pouty and he chuckled, eyes still on the road as he answered.

“I've been around…must’ve just not seen me,” he shrugged, but you could hear the smirk in his voice without even looking at him. What was that supposed to mean? He'd been following you again? Without you realising? How many other times had he done such a thing, and as if to prove your point he looked across at you, eyes judging you hard.

“I see you took your cheating boyfriend back.”

You were taken aback, fumbling over words that wouldn't come out. Your first question should have been: how do you know that?! But instead, you became defensive.

“He said sorry—he felt guilty.”

Seokjin raised his eyebrow and turned his head back to look out at the road. How was he so good at concentrating on two different things? You'd almost forgotten he was driving in the first place.

“If someone murdered your pet and then said sorry because they felt guilty, would you forgive them?” He questioned and you rolled your eyes. Of course you wouldn't. That was different. Those situations were completely different.

“Jaesu says too much has happened lately to hold grudges and be bitter,” you explained, not really believing his moment of “clarity” but taking it either way.

“Jaesu is talking through his ass,” Seokjin shot. “Would you be so quick to forgive Beci if it was the other way around and he was the one lying dead six feet under?”

His blunt question took you by surprise. The way he spoke so flippantly about death still unsettling you, but you had never really thought about it… If it was Jaesu dead instead of her, you probably wouldn't have forgiven her. You didn't know why, maybe it was because you and Jaesu had so much history together—i.e. you crushing on him for years and him not taking a blind bit of notice of you until you'd grown tits and an ass. Whatever the reason, you didn't want to give Seokjin the glee of being correct so you ignored his question and leant your elbow up against the window, resting your head on your arm as you looked out at the passing trees and bushes. You had no clue where you were by now.

A few more minutes were passed by in silence again as your mind flickered back to his room and the word magic. You should probably just ask, but for once, you were scared of the answer. However, the more you thought about it, more things entered your mind, like how did he open the car door when you were sure you hadn't seen him touch it. You began to get restless. You deserved answers. He wanted you to know anyway. He was toying with you and you wouldn't have it.

“How did you know I took Jaesu back?” You asked, your voice crisp as it filled the vehicle, laced with attitude.

There was a silence that lasted a little too long and you turned your head to look at him, his facial expression amused.

“Is that really what you want to ask?” He retorted, turning his face to meet your gaze and you looked down straight away. It was like a knew what you wanted to say. He could tell by the way you looked at him—you suspected him and he was having all the fun he could get out of it. You took a deep breath, getting ready for what you assumed or to be laughed at into mortification.

“W-What are you?”

The stutter was an accident, but it showed how nervous you were and you inwardly groaned, keeping your gaze down, fixated on your lap, your heart beating slowly but loudly in your chest, counting down the seconds until he answered you.

“I think you know what I am,” he stated and you sensed him look down at you, watching you carefully. “You just don't want to say it.”

“It doesn't exist,” you dismissed, after a pause in conversation.

“Who says?” He counteracted. “Humans? They don't know anything,” he sneered, and your heart stilled. The realisation washing over you, finally getting answers. He wasn't human.

“You look human, though,” you whispered, unable to help yourself.

“Yes, I look human—I can act human, but the things I can do—they're not so human,” he chuckled quietly, his voice turning slightly.

You stayed silent, unsure of what to say. The idea you'd been secretly storing in the back of your mind now a reality and you bit down on your lip, looking out the window. Just then you saw a passing car on the other side of the road—both of the man’s hands gripped onto the steering wheel but his horn went off—loud and piercing, drawn out and the man looked down shocked as his car flew past you. He hadn't pressed it. No one had…well, no one in that car anyway…

“Just like magic, huh?” Seokjin grinned at you, and you looked up at him wide eyed, unsure of what you'd seen.

“You're a w-wizard…” you cringed at what you said, sounding like a ten-year-old, but you couldn't think of any other way to describe what you'd seen.

He laughed at that, loudly and slightly patronising. Oh god, had you got it wrong? This was mortifying, but then he spoke and you didn't know whether to feel relieved or not.

“Hahaha, not quite—do you see me holding a magic wand and chanting abrah kadavrah? Do I have a lightning scar on my forehead? Did I go to a school of wizardry?”

Not quite. What did that mean? You felt a shiver run up your spine, but you couldn't help but be curious. What was he, and why weren't you scared?

“These things you think you know about magic aren’t real,” he explained matter of factly, eyes have on the road ahead of you and you frowned as he continued, “just made up by people who think it's all fun and games. They use the word magical—but it's far from it.”

What did that mean?! Your mind was ticking too fast, trying to piece together the cryptic information he'd given you, but you just got more confused.

“It's an art, one that takes years of practice—decades even, maybe even more than that…”

The way he explained it made it seem like he was that old himself, which was absurd because he only had to be a couple of years older than you, just by looking at him. He couldn't be older than that—it wasn't possible… Although, you thought what he was admitting to had been impossible too…

“I'm a warlock.”

His words rang in your ears, your eyes flickering around as you tried to think of something to say. It was Seokjin who was doing all the talking and you were just listening to the craziness that was coming out of his mouth.

“That means something different—something more. It's a dark art—it's not magical at all, trust me,” and as he tried to explain it further the bitterness was evident in his voice.

He turned to look at you, his eyes not on the road anymore and you looked up in protest, but for some reason you didn't feel worried, and you made eye contact with him, watching the serious expression on his face.

“All I have to do is look at you, think something, and you would do it. No questions asked—your brain wouldn't even process what you'd done until later on.”

You blinked. Everything making sense a little now, “W-Wait—like at the party? I hit Jaesu…”

“He deserved it, did he not?” Seokjin shot, tutting as he turned his head back to watch the road. “He was trying to pressure you into something you didn't want and then just to prove my point, afterwards he admitted to cheating on with your friend. They deserved it, right?”

They? They deserved it, and then your blood run cold when you remembered Beci’s death. So out of the blue, so unlike her… Seokjin wouldn't, would he…? That was unthinkable, but it made sense… He was he there that day… You looked at him, trying to understand why you weren't afraid of him? Why you didn't hate him? Not even a little repulsed… You were just as confused as ever and you dropped your head into your hands, groaning.  

“You're overwhelmed, it’s only expected,” he said, his voice gentler now. “I didn't think you were ready to ask me today, but I was wrong! You shocked me—you always do! That's why I like you.”

At the word like your heart began to speed up, your cheeks blushing as you tried to make sense of it all. Why did those three little words have such an effect on you?

“Do you want to go home now? We can carry on this conversation when you're ready.”

“Just wait!” You exclaimed, finally finding your voice. You didn't want the conversation to be over yet. You still wanted more. “Sh-Show me something—You made that car horn beep. What else can you do?”

He chuckled at your morbid curiosity, but shrugged, agreeing, “I can control anything I want—at least, I think I can. Admittedly I haven’t tried everything, but humans are the easiest to do it to—they're such weak and fickle creatures,” he hummed, adding “Except you,” and your heart sped up again. “What do you want me to do?”

“Something small,” you whispered, feeling oddly excited.

“Okay, something small, for your clouded mind,” he agreed and you watched him look at the stereo, it turning on instantly and then the volume began to decrease and increase at random intervals, the dial turning on its own accord. It was fascinating, like something you'd wished to do as a kid, but it was hardly amazing, or frightening.  

“That's not very evil for someone who practices the dark arts…” you shot playfully, sounding disinterested and he chuckled again. “I'm not that evil, Y/N,” he smiled, and your stomach fluttered with the use of your name. “I kill to survive, not for pleasure.”

You frowned then. Killing?! Who did he kill? And why? But again, you were more curious than freaked out and you got lost in your own thoughts, wanting to ask a million and one more questions, but Seokjin hit the palm of his hand on the steering wheel, getting your attention, “Okay! Home now, yes? I don't want to petrify you.”

“Wait!” You protested. “When will I see you again?”

“Or not,” he smiled, amused, a muttered “always full of surprises…” before he nodded, “You can see me anytime you want—I'm always around.”

You went to protest, wanting to know a specific time and date, but he laughed, already guessing, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, same time? Is that okay?” He asked and you nodded eagerly excited at the prospect.

“I don't like sticking to time, but I’ll do it for you…”

You… He’d do it for you… You didn't know how to feel, but you couldn't ignore the giddiness that shook your body.

You began meeting up with Seokjin almost every day after that. He would pick you up from school, you'd go to his on the weekends and you would either drive around or go back to his. The house you found out, was sort of-actually his. The story of the wealthy old lady was real—she had owned it in the 1900s and Seokjin had stayed there on some lodging agreement when he was in town. He was like the grandson she never had and after she died, she gave the house to him. Of course, nothing could ever be set in stone seeing as he didn't even exist officially, but that was okay because the land was actually protected—no one could bulldozer it down and no one wanted to buy it because of the stories. The stories, which in fact, Seokjin was accountable for. He'd lived on and off in the house for nearly a hundred years, leaving to travel some more when he wanted to and then coming back to this little old town. He liked it here, he said. He could blend in and now, in recent months. he was even trying to like a normal human being. He wanted to be like everyone else, and to you, he was.

It was just like having any other friend—only he was a little strange, or that's what some people would think. You were beginning to realise he was just as “normal” as everyone else in this world—no one was 100% that. When you weren't with him you missed him, and you began to realise that you didn't want to hang out with Sana, Jaesu, nor anyone else. No one had ever quite ‘got you’ as much as Seokjin did. For once in your life you felt comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, because you were beginning to think you were falling for him…

You tried to ignore it and just concentrate on the stories he told you. You loved them. You could never get bored of your conversations—there was just too much to learn and things for him to tell you. You learnt fairly quickly that he was old—older than you by years you couldn't imagine. He had lived in this world, but when it was very different—ruled by royalty that was often corrupt, and helped by magic that was practiced by witches and warlocks—dark magic, but they didn't seem to care, as long as they got what they wanted. Seokjin didn't like talking about his past that much—that far back, but he told you the name of land he had lived in for eighteen years or his life—Iyesgarth. It sounded like something from a film. In fact, everything Seokjin told you seemed so mind boggling you had trouble believing it, but it still had you transfixed.

He was so old, he was sure no others like him existed anymore. He didn't think there were even warlocks or witches who could do what he did anyway. That's why he had been living for so long. He could take human’s souls. There was only one way of saying it. No simplified version—no point getting into intricate detail either. He could suck the soul from right out their body and use it to carry on living. That's why he appeared so young. He wasn't a day over twenty appearance wise. The more he took, the longer he lived—forever youthful. Forever eternal. Forever how long he wanted to be on this earth—he could.

That's what he'd meant when he didn't kill for pleasure. He didn't kill purposefully. He wasn't evil. In fact, he told you these days, the only people he killed were homeless people; already at deaths door, or if he was desperate, just an easy catch. No one would miss them, as sad as it was, but it was reality and to carry on in this world, Seokjin needed to do it. If he didn't, he would die. It was as simple as that. Not even warlocks got to live forever, but only Seokjin had the ability to be able to do so. Although, he seemed to think it was a curse. You had never pried, but you often wondered why he had done it for so long? If he hated this drawn-out life so much, then why did he carry on living it? He didn't have to. No one was forcing him…

The more you got to know him, the more you found out about his prior life—or lives. He had lived for so long it was wonder he could remember stories and tidbits of his everlasting life, but there was mainly one place in general you were most curious about. Iyesgarth. You knew that was the beginning of his story. His home kingdom. Where he was born and raised…and the place he left…voluntarily or forced, you were about to find out…

“My mother didn't want me,” Seokjin said, his voice nonchalant as if he was brushing it under the carpet, and you wondered if he really didn't care or even after all this time, it still hurt?

You were both laying on his bed, the pink and purple chiffon shielding you slightly from the harsh light of the sun coming from his window. You'd forced him to open them now and he gladly accepted, telling you, you'd brought the light back into his life again—incredibly cheesy but it made the familiar butterflies that seemed to be a permanent thing these days, flutter at high speed. These were your favourite days—these were your every days now, and in Seokjin’s company was your favourite way of spending them—listening to his stories and finding out more about his past lives. Tonight, was the most personal by far. He rarely spoke about the first full twenty years of his life…

“I didn't know who my father was—some man who took what he wanted and left,” he added bitterly. “So, even though I think that's one of the reasons why she didn't want me—it had a lot to do with the fact she could tell something was off about me too, shall we say,” an unpleasant smile pulling at his mouth, “that made it easier for her.”

You widened your eyes a little in shock, unable to understand how a mother could not want her own child, and instinctively you put your arm out to him, cupping his hand with yours in silent comfort. You often touched—shoulders brushing as you sat too close to each other, legs rubbing against each other as you laid down talking about everything imaginable, but you had never touched hands and you felt a tingle spread through your body.

“She left me outside the door of a known witch when I was three,” he carried on, and you began soothing circles into the palm of his hand with your finger, “she was known because she helped the villagers with things like remedies and potions—she was sort of the town’s healer or something—which was stupid because she wasn't as pure as she made out to be,” he added with another bitter smile, only this time he looked directly at you, “she liked to practice things…dark arts and I guess I came around at the right time. She saw potential in me and she began teaching me spells and chants from a young age.”

“Wait, so anyone can begin to practice dark magic?” You asked, unable to keep it in. You were so curious and nothing seemed to faze you anymore.

“Not anyone, but someone who is born with a magical gift, yes,” he explained, “anyone with the gift is capable of turning to the dark side, but not everyone can,” he answered further, making sure you understood and you nodded along. “Most are too weak and don't have the mind for it—some are too blood thirsty and turn insane,” and your eyes bulged in shock as he continued, “and then there's—or were,” he corrected, “people like me who had it in their blood…if my gift is anything to go by,”

You frowned, “does that mean your father could have been a warlock too?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “I’ll never know for sure—it could run in the family or sometimes it was just what you were born as. There were folk tales about it, but I won't bore you with them now,” he shook his head but caught the pout on your face and chucked a little, “another time.”

You nodded. There was so much to learn you knew you could be here for days and days—months probably, and it would probably never be enough.

“I saw the witch as my mother and I guess she did love me in some twisted way, but there was always something missing…that true bond. She was just a woman who clothed and fed me…a woman I don't even want to name. She's long gone now.” His tone was expressionless as he spoke about her and then he was silent for a moment, his face serious.

“Is that why you left?” You asked, repeating it again when he didn't catch of all of it. “Is that why you left Iyesgarth?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I probably should have then, it would have saved a hell of a lot of bother.”

“T-Then why did you…?” You didn't want to pry, but you realised he did want to explain, he was just having a hard time processing his thoughts. He had never told anyone this, you could tell.  

“I just thought I would live in that place forever—my home,” he smiled sadly. “I was young and naïve and thought I would fall in love and marry someone—have children. All I wanted was the family I never had,” and your heart dipped with his own heartfelt confession, your fingers linking in his on instinct and you felt his tense up for a moment before he relaxed and squeezed around them. “But I realised how stupid I was to ever think something like that. Who would love a monster like me? A freak like me?”

You wanted to disagree. He wasn't a monster nor a freak. Everything you'd seen of him now had been human. Just because he could do stuff that was inhuman, didn't mean he was anything but. However, he was lost in the story and he carried on quickly.

“For one brief moment, I thought I had found just that… a girl my age, in the village I lived on the outskirts of. She excepted me for who I was…for one beautiful moment in time, but then things went wrong…people got inside her mind…another boy, and he turned her against me. Made her think I was strange and dangerous, which was crazy because up until that point in my life I had never even harmed a fly,” he chuckled bitterly, “but it didn't matter because it was too late.”

Seokjin’s face darkened, his expression turning even more serious and he slid his hand out or yours, his eyes closing as he thought back.

“I'm not proud of what I did, but I couldn't control it—the anger, it just spewed out of me and before I knew it he was dead.”

Your blood run a little cold at the image of him killing someone, even though you knew he did it—still did it, but it was more to do with the fact you knew that was the first time he'd ever done it. How scared he must have been at himself. It was horrible to even think about.

“I didn't know about my ability until that night by the lake,” he carried on, his voice beginning to shake as he fidgeted with his hands. “When I saw them together, laughing and holding hands like me and her used to do…a-and then he was dead,” he got out, not really making sense, but you understood him, gripping one of his hands again as you forced him to calm down, and his eyes softened as he looked at you, a world of thanks swimming in them as he opened his mouth to speak once more. He wasn't done.

“I felt something leave him and go inside of me—I-I don't know, it's hard to describe…but I did it and then I knew I had to leave—It was that or die. I know the queen wouldn't have it,” he explained, his voice determined.

“It took me a couple more years of living out in the wild to realise what my ability could do—keep me ever young. The more I killed, the more I stayed a handsome young man. It was hard at first, but it got easier. It's not even messy,” he shrugged. “I can choke someone to death without using my hands. It becomes a part of life—of my everlasting life.

The way he spoke about death so causally should have scared you, you knew that, but here you were, not giving a damn, only wanting to know more about his life.

“You really can never die?”

“Not never,” he dismissed, “I could get shot in a burglary, or stabbed in an identity mix up—run over…car crash—the list is endless. I can die just like you but not through illness and definitely not through old age,” he smirked and you couldn't help but grin back, feeling relief wash over you to see him joke around again.

“You've really lived through so many eras,” you hummed, watching your hands together before he linked your fingers again, and your heart swelled, your stomach doing flips as you tried to distract yourself and ask another question, ignoring the warmth of his hands around yours. You had never felt this pacified with a touch so small before. “Which one was your favourite?”

“Now,” he replied so simply you had to snap out of your little trance, “How come?”

“It's just the freest this world has ever been,” adding a “come on, you can pink hair for crying out loud and not be laughed at?”

“That's true,” you chuckled, amused, but then the air changed and he shuffled closer, turning to lay flat on his stomach and you pressed your side into the bed to look at him, hands unlacing as he went to run it over your shoulder and then your cheek. He had never touched you this intimately before and your heart began to race inside your chest. He was so close you could reach up and kiss him if you wanted to…and you did want to. Of course, you did.

“But also, because I got to meet you,” he whispered, “you're special—I knew from the very beginning when you came into my house grouching about that Ouija board,” he joked and you giggled, albeit a little shyly as his face turned serious, “I wanted to know everything I could about you—you're different to any other girl I've ever met. You except me for me—no one’s ever done that before.”

You took a quiet breath as you watched him carefully, his dark brown eyes piercing into yours as he laid everything bare. You knew in that instant that you had never felt this way about a person before. Not even Jaesu. That was nothing compared to this.

“Of course, I except you,” you declared, bringing your own hand out to cup his face and he fluttered his eyes closed, melting to your touch and your words, “you're different to everyone—you make me feel…whole…”

The word sounded strange, but it was correct. If there was missing part of you, Seokjin filled it and you needed him to know. You moved closer to him, gripping his face harder as your noses bumped and he opened his eyes to stare at you, his gaze serious as you parted your lips, wanting—no, needing to kiss him. He looked down at your mouth before back to your eyes and let out a shaky breath, uncertainty in his eyes, as if something was holding him back.

“You know what I did to Beci, right?” He whispered, keeping eye contact with you and your heart stilled, time freezing before you nodded slightly.

You did know. You had known since the day she’d died. You’d had a feeling, but you had never said anything. There was no point, not when it hardly fazed you. It was a horrible thing to say, you knew that, but Beci had hurt you so bad that you found it incapable of feeling sorry for her. Even if she didn’t deserve death, you didn’t feel guilt—or if you did it, was so small it was barely real.

He let out a tiny sigh of relief, although you were certain he knew you knew what he had done and a smile broke out on his face, moving closer to rub his nose against yours again as you grinned back when he spoke again, happiness filling your chest and wanting to burst out of you.

“You make me feel like I'm home.”

Your lips touched then, unsure of who made the first move, but you knew it didn’t matter. All you felt were his lips against yours, plush and soft, pressing over yours as you parted them slowly, moving even closer to him as he slid his hand around your back, playing with the ends of your hair as a small, soft sigh left him, feeling your tongues graze against each other and you had never heard anything so beautiful.

You couldn’t ignore it any longer—your feelings for him. They were stronger than anything you’d felt in your whole life. He was everything you’d wanting in your life, even before you knew it, and you didn’t want him to ever leave you. He may have been a fragment of the past, but he was your present now. You needed him and he needed you.

A few weeks past and you and Seokjin went from strength to strength. Of course, that was after you’d remembered to break things off with Jaesu the day after your first kiss with him. You had been so happy that you’d forgotten that you’d had a boyfriend—although, ‘boyfriend’ was a word he didn’t deserve. Being with Seokjin had taught you that whatever Jaesu had been, wasn’t that. Jaesu was something you had held onto because you feared getting left out—afraid of losing your friends if you and he weren’t together anymore. It was fickle, and you felt guilty, but you knew he never cared about you anyway—not really. He had cheated on you after all, for god knows how long and with one of your so-called friends…

As the weeks passed you began to drift away from your friendship group, realising you should have never forced yourself to hang out with them if you had nothing in common and the fact that you knew you were easily replaceable. It was a horrible thing to think, but it was true and you knew that now. You would rather have no friends than stick to ones who weren’t good for you. Seokjin understood you though, like you understood him. He was the friend you’d been missing all your life and now so much more!

You were in class today and had plans to go around his after school, but half way in, you were already thinking of ditching. You were half way down the corridor after the bell had gone for fourth when you heard a voice call for you. Sana’s.

“Where are you going?”

You turned around slowly, watching her walking towards you. You hadn’t spoken to her in over a week, avoiding the canteen like the plague and hitting the library instead. Sana had been your best friend for so long but things had changed. It was sad, but you needed to realise that people change. They want different things and there’s no point hanging on, especially if she was indifferent these days.

“To meet a friend,” you shrugged, wanting to turn back around and go before you got caught.

“That freak with the pink hair?” She sneered and you pulled your head back in shock. First at her attitude and second, how did she even know? If Seokjin picked you up from school it was usually from around the corner. Maybe she had seen you hang around town…?  “Honestly where did you even meet him?”

“He's not a freak,” you defended, still in shock. What did it matter to her where you met him? She wouldn’t believe you anyway.

“Is he your new boyfriend now?” She asked, folding her arms across her chest and you eyed her suspiciously. “It didn't take you long to move on from Jaesu, or did it already happen when you were with him?”

“Sana…” you trailed off. Why was she taking his side? It didn’t make sense.

“It's just a question, Y/N,” she quipped, her lips pursed and then she said something that made you gasp. “Jaesu and you were never suited anyway…you were always too square for him…”

You scoffed, trying to hide your hurt and then shot her one last look before you turned back and began walking again—well away from your ex-best friend. Why had she chosen him over you? Why had she always chosen other people over you?

You made it to Seokjin’s quickly, making your way through his front door and upstairs as you guessed he'd be in his room and you were ready to rant to him, but you found him on his bed, looking at the box you'd first picked up when you came here so many weeks ago now, it was hard to remember. However, you did remember what had been in that box—that strange liquid. You stopped by the doorframe, watching his face as he studied the bottle, a frown creasing lines into his forehead and you wondered what he was thinking so hard about? It took him nearly a minute to realise you were there.

“Hey,” he said, sounding a little shocked to see you, putting the box behind him on the bed as he looked at you, “I wasn't expecting you here so early.”

“I skipped class,” you explained, walking towards him, the thoughts of Sana long out of your head now, “what's are you doing?”

“Come here,” he smiled, outstretching his hand to grab yours as he pulled you sit next to him with a plop, and you giggled when he reached to kiss you, pecking you lightly on the lips before catching your eye again and smiling. “Let me show you something.”

He reached for the bottle once more, placing it in your hands and you stared at the pink iridescent liquid shine in the sunlight.

“I made it,” he said proudly, “I needed to be productive with all these years hanging over me.”

“A potion…?” You wondered aloud.

“If that's what you want to call it…it sounds better when you call it an elixir, though,” he chuckled and you smiled back at him, admiring the way his cheeks bunched up.

“It's pretty.”

“Is that all you have to say,” he teased, eyebrow cocked.

“What does it do?” You asked, actually curious. You had been from the moment you saw it.

“It can turn any human’s life eternal, just like mine…” he explained excitedly.

“Forever?!” You gasped. How was that even possible?

“Well, if you die of situations out of your control, then no—not forever,” he explained further, “but yes, whoever took it, would live forever looking the age they are now.”

Wow. That was both creepy and amazing.

“Why can't you take it, then? You wouldn't have to kill anymore…” you suggested.

“It wouldn't work on me…I need to kill to survive…this—” he added, pointing at the liquid, “—god, knows what it would do to me.”  

“How do you know it would work on humans?” You asked.

“I don't 100%, but I was working on it for centuries so I'm very, very sure,” he nodded, and you frowned.

Centuries. For some reason that word scared you.

“Seokjin…”

“Hmm?” He hummed, smiling down at you.

“W-What would happen if you didn't take the souls of anyone anymore?”

“I would die,” he answered simply.

“Yes, but how long would it take you?” You pressed, wanting to know.

“I don't know…not long,” he answered, shrugging. “I'm very old so… There was once, maybe a year or so ago—I didn't take for nearing three weeks because I'd just lost…all hope,” he said slowly, sounding dejected and you felt your heart twinge. “I could feel myself weakening, even my appearance was looking older…it was so strange—but it sort of give me the kick I needed and I realised I didn't want to die yet…I didn't want it to be the end.”

“What would happen to you, if you did die?” The question was so morbid, but you needed to know.

“I'd probably crumble into a million pieces,” he chuckled. “It wouldn't be a pretty sight.”

You frowned, not liking to hear him joke about it and shook your head, wanting to know more. You were never sick of hearing about him.

“Why didn't you want to die?”

“Because I was looking for love…” he said, almost sadly. “All my life I've just wanted to be accepted and loved for who I am. I've just wanted someone who loved me back as much as I loved them…,

“Seokjin,” you started, the urge to tell him something you'd been thinking for a while now exceedingly strong. You shifted, moving the bottle away from you back to the box and gripped his hands in your lap. You found him looking at you intently, his mouth parted as he frowned slightly confused, but then he saw you smile at him, and he smiled back, knowing what you wanted to say as if he could read your mind.

“It's taken me so long, b-but I think I've finally found it…” he stuttered, his hands shaking as he loosened one from your grip and cupped your face. “You’re all I need, and want.”

Your heart stilled at his words, the feeling in your chest almost suffocating. You just wanted to explode, to tell him and let him know how much he was wanted and needed in your life. How much happiness he brought you, and then he spoke again, and you could have cried.

“I'm in love with you.”

You dived at him, pressing your lips against his and he spluttered in shock, before giggling, his hands coming up to cup the back of your head as you kissed him longingly and then you pulled back, a grin on your face.

“I'm in love with you, too.”

Seokjin’s eyes bulged, an astonished really falling from his lips and you nodded, giggling as you went in for another kiss, deepening it with ease as you run your tongue over the seam of his lips, feeling him open them instantly and graze his tongue over yours as a hum fell from your lips, before they were pressing together eagerly. You pulled back a little to shuffle further onto the bed, bringing him with you so he was crouched over you, his hands falling to your hips as he proceeded to kiss down your chin and neck; wet, firm kisses that made you shiver with delight.

You run your hands through his hair, pulling him back to your face to meet his lips again, seemingly desperate for more, but for some reason he was moving too slow for you. You sat back up, taking him with you and he watched you curiously as you as you did so, spluttering again when you flipped him over and crawled over him instead, reconnecting your lips before he could speak.

Of course, you'd made out many times over the weeks, but this time something was different. Something has changed. You loved Seokjin, and he loved you. You wanted to celebrate that. It was something you'd never felt before, because you'd never loved Jaesu. You'd never been in love before, but now you were, and you wanted to explode with happiness. Seokjin could only grip your hips as you kissed him fervently, breathy moans leaving you both, before his hands began to wonder—over your ass and then up your back, sliding under your shirt. The feeling was like lightning shooting up your spine and you pulled away to sit up, watching him with dark eyes as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

“I'm sorry,” he apologised. “Was that too much? I got carried away.”

“No!” You practically exclaimed, shaking your head and running your hands up and down his chest, sliding under his t-shirt to feel his skin and he twitched, watching you with wide eyes as you stared down at him.

He chuckled quietly, sitting up to lean his back against the headboard and you felt his torso clench under your palms, his flesh hot and tingles ran through your body. You'd never felt this way before. You wanted him. His awkward laughter died down after he saw the look in your eyes, and he cleared his throat to speak.

“What do you want, Y/N?” He asked gently, bringing his hands to your shoulders and looking you square in the eye, as if he knew the atmosphere had changed.

“I want you,” you breathed, trying to keep your voice steady but it trembled with the adrenaline and Seokjin let out a shaky breath, his eyes closing for a moment before they opened again, his expression serious.

“Are you sure about this? Just because I told you I love you doesn't mean I expect you to have sex with me,” he told you and you nodded, bringing your hands back up to his face to hold him.

“I know that, I just want you, Seokjin. I've never wanted anything more.”

He didn't reply, only kissed you hard, a low moan leaving him as he tasted you and weaved his fingers through your hair, pulling back to whisper this time.

“If you want to stop at any time, just say so, okay?”

You nodded, half of you excited, the other half nervous as you bit down on your lip, watching him take your hands from his cheeks and bring them to his mouth, kissing each finger one by one before dropping them in his lap and taking his own to lift his t-shirt over his head, revealing his smooth chest. You instantly lifted your hands to run across it, feeling his chest move with each breath—heavier than usual as his eyes watched you, a twinkle in them.

You leaned into kiss him gently, your hand drumming inside your chest as you felt him shift under you and continue where he left of, running his hands up your shirt, pausing to watch your reaction as his palms cupped the flesh of your breasts over your bra, making sure you were okay, and to prove you were, you pushed into him, grinding down onto his crotch, pleasure washing over you as you felt the ripples in his jeans against your barely covered crotch, your skirt riding up and he groaned into the kiss, his hands now moulding and rubbing against your skin harder.

You moved again, rolling your hips experimentally to elicit other groan from him, your heart racing faster as he his movements faltered and he paused, gripping around the sides of your breasts to steady himself, pulling away to break the kiss and ask you of it was okay to take off shirt. You nodded of course, unable to use actual words because the way his own voice quivered had you doubting your own. His reactions were having an effect on you that you couldn't describe—your body was feeling something new and you wanted it all.

He pulled your shirt over your head and you helped him with the process, watching his eyes quickly fall to your breasts before his hands reached for the clasp of your bra, undoing it slowly before letting the straps slip off your shoulders and the fabric fall down between your bodies. You let if fall off the bed, trying not to feel self-conscious being bare in front of him but he cupped your sides, pulling you closer to kiss your lips and whisper, “you're so beautiful.” A few months back you couldn't imagine getting naked in front of somebody else, but now, everything just felt so right.

His hands slid up to your breasts and began messaging them softly as the kiss deepened, his tongue laving against yours as your gripped onto his shoulders, still rolling your hips, although it was in tinier motions now, feeling something grow between the fabric—a hardness that could only mean one thing and your heart began to flutter. This was actually going to happen.

His hands were still caressing your skin, one dropping to fall on your thigh and he began rubbing small circles into the flesh, before the tips of his fingers began to inch higher, under your skirt. You pulled back and he stilled, looking at you with concerned eyes, “Was that too fast? We can take it as slow as you want. Just tell me.”

“No—it's fine. I'm fine,” you smiled. “I just feel a little bit underdressed beside you.”

It was true. Your skirt had ridden up so much, you were sure you could see the front of your underwear and your legs were bare, while Seokjin was still in his jeans.

“Oh,” he realised, his eyes widening. “Oh, okay. I’ll take these off,” he motioned, his hands leaving you to begin unbuttoning his pants, although you realised his fingers were fumbling a lot.

You moved off his lap when he began pulling them down his hips, sitting up from the edge of the bed to take them of completely, and he was so preoccupied with his task he didn't notice you unzip your skirt off either until he turned back to you, resuming his old position and he opened his mouth in silent amazement, watching you straddle him again, the thin material of your underwear the only thing working as a barrier now and your cheeks burned up feeling his member so hard against your mound. You had never been or seen anybody as naked at this before and you were beginning to get nervous, your hands trembling as you grasped his shoulders again, leaning into kiss him.

Rubbing against him, you could already feel your arousal growing, the friction heating up your body and setting it ablaze as you continued to make out, low moans and heavy breaths leaving you both as you got lost within each other, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle, your chest flushed together as you began to earn for him even more; despite your nerves, you were more than ready. One of his hands slid down your back, cupping your butt cheek and pressing you harder against him and you moaned loudly, eyes widening with slight embarrassment at how vocal you had been, but he broke apart from you, his eyes so blown out they were practically black and your stomach dropped, the craving too much.

“I,” he began, kissing down your neck, “want you,” and you shuddered, feeling him kiss down to your collar bones, “so much.”

The hand on your butt went to your thigh, running his palm up and down your leg and you watched goosebumps form even though your were boiling hot, breathing loudly as he found the front of your underwear, pausing to feel if you would freeze, but you stayed calm, gripping him closer towards you and making him touch you. The feeling was foreign at first, as he rubbed lightly but the pleasure was instantaneous, making you wiggle, unsure of how to illicit the pleasure, but he got the message and found your lips again, kissing you with more fervour then before, sharp breaths leaving him as you continued to gyrate over his length.

“I want you too,” you breathed in between the kiss, your body practically vibrating with need, and he nodded to himself, his fingers leaving your now damp panties as he pulled back a little, his hands going for the waistband of his underwear, and your heart stilled as you watched him reveal himself, your eyes bulging a little in fright, but you calmed down when he smiled up at you shyly, making you realise he was just as nervous as you.

You moved back some more, letting him undress himself completely before you shuffled towards him, his hands instantly coming for your panties too, watching you carefully to make sure you were okay, and you gave him a quick nod, silently telling him to carry on. He obeyed, pushing the fabric down and lifted your leg to help rid them completely, making you both completely bare as you lifted your leg to hover on top of him. You didn't feel awkward at all anymore, only a slight humming in your veins as the adrenaline kicked in.

Seokjin gripped your hips lightly, shuffling his body to lay back, half against the headboard and half on his pillow. The light shining in from the window, reflected off the pink and purple chiffon that draped over the four posts and made him look even more ethereal than you already thought he was. He looked beautiful. He looked unreal, and in the back of your mind you knew he more or less could have been… However, he was here with you right now and that's all that mattered. He existed and you loved him.

“Don't be nervous,” he whispered. “Take this at your own pace.”

You swallowed, shuffling towards him so that you were practically hovering over his length, your heart thudding in your chest so loud you were sure he could hear it, but the need for him outweighed your reservations and you looked down at him, letting your heat fall lower to touch him. He moaned a little, his eyes closing at the sensation, his fingers gripping into your hips a little harder, and you felt a confidence wash over you, urging you to move again.

You pushed down, biting on your lip as his length stretched you out slightly. Seokjin stayed perfectly still, eyes watching where you began and he ended, wanting you to go at your own pace and you were in awe at how perfect this was. You pushed further, feeling the first sting, despite being aroused, but you carried on, knowing the end game would outweigh the pain, but to your surprise, the pain wasn't even that bad.

Maybe it was because you were 100% comfortable with him that when he filled you completely all you felt was a strange feeling of ‘fullness’ and you sat there, watching his chest heave slightly, his stomach tense and you looked down in surprise—he was inside of you. You were one person right now, joined in what you had thought was a crude way, but now being here—it was just beautiful and you didn't know how to express yourself.

Your gaze caught his fingers gripping into your flesh, his knuckles white and you realised he was trying to control himself and keep calm to be able to move at your pace. Your heart once again fluttered, filled with a warmth you had never experience before. His sweetness was beyond anything and you needed him. You bravely rolled your hips, getting used the sensation of his member filling you and took a breath, the feeling still slightly uncomfortable, but beyond that was a pleasure you had never felt before and you continued, watching Seokjin’s stomach loosen as his body relaxed a bit and you looked down at him for the first time in a while, smiling coyly as he met your eyes, giving you one back as he asked if you were okay.

You nodded, pausing to wonder if you should ask himself something. He was so far away from you and you wanted to be able to touch him properly—hold him as he made love to you.

“What is it?” He asked sounding panicked as he went to sit up, noticing your hesitation, but coming to the wrong conclusion, and you shook your head. “Nothing,” you reassured him, “I-I just want you to…” you trailed off, unsure of how to explain it and too embarrassed to say it outright, but he chuckled gently, already realising by the way your cheeks blushed and you looked down.

“You want me to make love to you?” He asked, and you nodded quickly before he gave you quick kiss on your nose. “I would want nothing more.”

He motioned for you to move, cupping your sides to manoeuvre you to lay on your back and you obeyed with ease, already counting down the seconds again until he could be inside you, your body feeling empty. He hovered over you, watching you spread your legs so he could fit in and he paused, running his hands over your body. anywhere he could reach, his gaze intense before he positioned himself at your entrance, your body pulsing with need as he held himself up over you, careful not to crush you with his body weight.

This time when he entered you, it wasn't so uncomfortable, in fact, it was better this position and he slid in slowly, watching your reactions carefully, stilling to make sure you were okay, before you gripped onto his shoulders, wanting him to move. His face was slightly expressionless, as if he was trying not to fully let go until you were enjoying yourself, but you saw the veins bulge in his neck as he thrust for the first time, moving slowly out, before pushing back in.

You moaned quietly, his motions much better than yours when you had been on top of him, and your back arched involuntary, waiting for the next thrust that hit you little harder. As he continued to move, the uncomfortable feeling dispersed and then there was only pleasure. Red, hot pleasure that flowed through your veins and became stronger when Seokjin finally let himself go and began breathing loudly, even moaning a little as he thrust inside of you.

Your hands slid down his back, the pads of your fingers pressing into the flesh as you tried to get him closer, giving up to wrap your legs around his hips, experimentally lifting yours to meet each of his movements, the pleasure increasing.

Seokjin met your lips again, kissing you passionately but messily as he tried to keep a steady pace, practically panting now, and you swallowed them, a chance to hide your own as your chest heaved with the exertion, the feeling of him inside you so good you didn't know what to do. You moved your hands to the back of his head, entangling your fingers in strands of his hair to pull him closer, his mouth moving down your chin and to your neck as he kissed it sloppily.

“You're so beautiful,” he half panted. “You sound so beautiful too”, and you blushed at his words, your hands running down his back again, feeling goosebumps form.

He was practically laying on top of you now, leaning on his forearms as your bodies stuck together slightly sweaty, and you stilled your hips as you felt him pick up his pace but still kept it gentle, careful not to hurt you. Your pleasure so heightened now your body felt like it was on fire and Seokjin’s breath began to falter, hissing coming from him as he lifted his head to look at you, his teeth clenched and his forehead furrowed. He was close, you could tell, and your heart began to hammer in your chest as you watched someone so beautiful above you.

“I-I’m gonna—

He didn't need to inform you and he never got to anyway because he became too overwhelmed and you felt his length pulse hot inside of you, a groan leaving him as you felt a warmth fill you down below. The feeling of love making was so intense all your limbs were trembling and you gripped his body to you, keeping him inside of you because you never wanted him to leave.

“I love you,” he gasped, his breathing loud and heavy as he brought both hands out his cup your face before kissing your lips, pressing his forehead against yours afterwards, letting your pants mingle together and you grinned breathlessly, your legs still wrapped around him as you refused to let him move. In that moment, you had never felt so relaxed and so at peace. This was what it felt like to be in love. In love with Seokjin, the only person who mattered most in this world.

“I love you, too,” you whispered, “so, so much.”

After that things were just perfect. You spent even more time with Seokjin now, getting to know each other in different ways, between his sheets. Everything was amazing, in your own little bubble, where just you and he existed. There was no school, no homework, no parents and no so-called friends. Only him, and you fell harder for him each day.

He fell harder for you too. Since meeting you, you had shown him the wonders of ‘real’ human life. I.e. Eating really unhealthy takeout, going to the movies and evening shopping at the mall. Seokjin did it all because he wanted nothing more than to be a normal guy. To live a life just like everybody in this town. In the past couple of months, he’d become not only your boyfriend, but your best friend too.

Tonight, were just like the others. It was a Saturday night and you'd been on a late evening trip to the mall, stopping before heading back to his, to eat McDonald's in his car.  

“Ah, this is the life,” he sighed happily, taking another bite of his burger.

“What eating McDonald's in a parking lot?” You asked sceptically, raising an eyebrow.

“This is proper living!” He exclaimed and you giggled, shaking your head.

“More like a proper way to lead to clogged arteries and a heart attack,” you informed.

“You forget—I can't die!” He teased, shooting you a dazzling smile.  

“You can still ‘accidentally’ die though,” you joked, and he gasped dramatically, nudging your shoulder.

“Are you threatening me?” He chuckled.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” You teased, turning your head to look out the window as a light smile played on your lips, but then it disappeared when you saw something that made your heart still, before thudding in your chest.

Just a few rows down in the parking lot you saw Sana and Jaesu. It was a strange straight anyway, because they never hung around together alone. Sana was in her work clothes, must have just having finished work and they were beside her car, laughing and talking together—suspiciously close. Too close, and as you watched on, your mouth fell open when you saw him lean in and kiss her, their lips locking gently before he pulled away with a smirk and Sana turned her head, giggling shyly.

“Y/N?” Seokjin asked, trying to get your attention when he realised you were in your own little world. “What is it?” He followed your eyes, a low gasp leaving him as he saw what you did—Jaesu now whispering in Sana’s ear.

“Y/N, I'm so sorry.” You heard Seokjin murmur, brushing his hand over your back. “Maybe we should go,” he suggested, but you shook your head.

It was Sana all along. Not Beci—it had to be. The way she had stuck up for Jaesu the other week. It was her—your best friend. You had only presumed it was Beci, and he had just gone along with it because you hadn't given him a chance to correct you. He probably didn't even want to anyway. As far as Jaesu was concerned, he was off the hook. You thought it was Beci and now she was dead.

“No,” you continued, hand already on the car door handle, watching Sana get in her car and reverse out of the space as Jaesu waved her off and began walking towards his. “I need to talk to him.”

“I don't think that would be a good idea,” Seokjin reasoned, but you were already opening the door and getting out.

“I need to know, Seokjin!” You half-shouted. “It was her all along,” and your voice broke, emotions high as the betrayal ate away at you. It was her. Your best friend…

You were out the car and storming over to Jaesu lightning fast, face like thunder as you tried to keep your anger down low, but failed as you shouted loudly, catching his attention.

“YOU DICK!”

“Y-Y/N…” he stuttered, turning around to face you, a panicked expression on his face. “What are you doing here?”

“IT WAS SANA ALL THIS TIME!” You shouted, moving towards him and pushing at his chest, making him lose his balance, stumbling backwards a little. Luckily, it was late and nobody was around to hear you lose your mind. “MY BEST FRIEND!”

He regained his composure, the shock on his face disappearing as he sneered, looking as if he couldn't stand the sight of you. “As if she was your best friend anymore,” he rolled his eyes. “It's been obvious for so long that you've hated her guts.”

“That's not true!” You denied. You had never hated her. She was the one who had changed towards you. “She was the one who was sleeping with my boyfriend!”

“As if you even cared for me either,” he shot. “You never wanted me to touch you—

“What? And Sana did?” You interrupted, incredulous that he was still thinking this way—that his brain was that dense. “Is that what made her better than me?”

“YES!” He exclaimed, laughing in disbelief. “She actually wanted me.”

“Hey!” Seokjin’s voice shouted from behind as he walked towards you both, must having decided to get out the car.

“Don't speak to her like that!” You felt his arm wrap around your back as he made it to you and you relaxed—albeit only slightly.

“Oh—and here it is!” Jaesu sneered, shooting Seokjin a dirty look. “I didn't think you were out here alone—Tell me, Y/N. I'm not the only one who cheated, am I?”

“I never cheated on you!” You shrieked.

“Really?” He scoffed. “Everyone has seen you around with him—some college weirdo. You must think you're so great now that you have a college boyfriend.”

“You have no idea what you're on about, Jaesu,” you dismissed. You had never cheated on him, not really. You had kissed Seokjin one time when you were still with Jaesu, but you had broken up with him straight away when you knew there was something more between Seokjin and you. What did it matter anyway? Your relationship was already dead in the water seeing as he'd been sleeping with Sana all this time, even making you believe it was Beci…

At the thought of Beci, you felt the guilt was over you. You had blamed it all on her and when she died—when Seokjin killed her—you had felt no guilt at all. You had even thought she'd deserved it. You were a horrible person and now you were getting what you deserved…

“I don't? So, you weren't hanging around with him when we were still together, huh?” Jaesu asked, bringing you back to the present.

“We were hardly together,” you shot, unsure of who you were most angry at—him or yourself…

“Exactly,” he shrugged. “That's why I had to go to Sana—at least someone wanted me.”

“That’s enough” Seokjin snapped and you flinched a little, remembering he was there. For some reason, you felt a little sick at what he'd done to Beci now. Everything had changed and you were losing your grip on reality. This wasn't right.

“Oooh, someone’s got his panties in a twist—what are you going to do, pretty boy?” Jaesu goaded, coming closer to you guys.

“Apologise now” Seokjin ordered, his voice stern.

“As if,” Jaesu laughed, as if it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

“Apologise—” Seokjin menaced, “—now.”

You watched with wide eyes as suddenly, Jaesu’s body froze, his throat making a strange croaking as he began to speak, broken and hardly coherent, as if he wasn't even in charge of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“I-I'm…s-s-sorry…”

“Good boy,” Seokjin grinned, and you turned to look at him wide eyed, realising it was he that had done it. He'd forced him to apologise—literally forced the words right out of his voice box.

“What the fuck?!” Jaesu shouted, freaking out. “How did you make me do that?”

“I didn't make you do anything,” Seokjin shrugged, obviously amused. “You obviously wanted to apologise to Y/N.”

“No, I didn't!” He shot, taking a look at you. “Why would I want to apologise to such a frigid cock tease?” Your heart stung at his words, watching him turn to Seokjin, a wide smirk on his face as he carried on.

“I hope you get more action out of her than I ever did. She was the biggest—

He never got to finish his sentence because suddenly, his eyes began to bulge, his body frozen in shock for a moment before he clawed at his throat with his hands, choking noises coming from him. You stared in confusion, unsure of what was going on before you realised. Seokjin. He was strangling him, and if he didn't stop, he was going to kill him. You had a split second to think and then your morality kicked in and you begged Seokjin to stop.

“Stop it, Seokjin—you're going to kill him!” You exclaimed, pulling at his clothing to make him lose concentration or whatever he was using to choke the life out of Jaesu.

“Please stop—For me!”

Killing wasn't the answer. Just because he saw red didn't mean he had to murder everyone who offended him. This was the 21st century. You cupped his face in some sort of last resort, trying to make him look at you, his eyes black and hard with a gaze that could probably kill someone right then and there—in a blink. He looked inhuman. He didn't look like your Seokjin, and you pulled back, frightened for the first time since you'd gotten to know him…gotten to love him.

That seemed to break him out of his trance and behind you, you heard Jaesu gasp for breath loudly, but all you could concentrate on was the way Seokjin’s face darkened with regret, his eyes washed with guilt as he went to reach out towards you, but you moved backwards, unable to look him in the eye. So instead, you turned back towards Jaesu, wanting to ask if he was okay. However, as you opened your mouth he began speaking, still fighting for breath as he fumbled over his words.

“W-What t-t-the fuck!”

You had never seen Jaesu so scared, and you were ashamed to admit that a part of you felt happy at the prospect. A part of you thought he deserved it for what he'd done to you—and you hated yourself. This wasn't you. When had you turned so bitter?

“Just get the hell out of here before I change my mind!” You heard Seokjin shoot, and his hands cupped your waist. This time you let him touch you, and you heard him sigh in relief, his chest relaxing against your back.

Jaesu surprisingly listened straight away, stumbling backwards, but still managing to shoot a dirty look your direction even though his eyes were wide with terror, and you watched him get in his car, dropping his keys in haste as he opened the door. It would have been comical to see a boy usually filled with so much confidence lose it so quickly, but right now you just felt horrendously sick. You couldn't even remember Seokjin leading you back to his car and sitting you in it, and you realised on the ride home, the vehicle filled with silence, that you were in shock.

So much had happened in under half an hour that you didn't know what to do. You couldn't believe you had ever been so unfazed at Beci’s death. Regardless if it was actually her that had been the one to betray you. She didn't deserve to die, nor did Sana, or Jaesu. You guys were still practically kids. You made mistakes and you grew from them. Now one of you was dead and there was nothing you could do. You'd even fallen in love with her killer…

You got back to Seokjin’s place and like a zombie you made it to his bedroom, unsure if you even wanted to be here. You should have just told him to drop you off back home. You didn't want to be in the same room as him. You didn't want to look at him, because everything had changed now. Beci was innocent and you realised how stupid you had been. How warped you had been. Had you always been like this? Or had meeting Seokjin changed you…? You were unsure.

You sat down slowly on his bed, watching him quietly pad towards his cabinets, not looking at your seated figure. You knew he felt the change in atmosphere—attitude, even. He wasn't stupid. He knew he had scared you when he'd began choking Jaesu. Death was one thing to hear about, but another to see…

“It wasn't Beci…” you finally got out, your voice a whisper, as you were able to vocalise the only thing that was spinning inside your head and stronger than any other thought in your brain.

“Y/N…” Seokjin began, although you already knew he didn't have anything to say to make the situation better.

“Why did you do it?”

You asked the question you should have asked the second time you'd spoken to him, all those weeks ago in his car, but you had been stupid, blown over by the idea of magic and a whole new world so different to yours.

“I-I don't know,” he muttered, evident that he didn't want to speak about it. “I thought it was her…you were so upset…I was so angry that someone would hurt you like that—especially a supposed friend…”

“What? Beci deserved to die because she didn't really want to be my friend?”

“No, that's not it,” he protested, looking up to see you stare at him accusingly, and his features hardened. “I was wrong, okay? But you were the one who didn't care…”

You were silent then. He was right. Back then you hadn't cared. You had been stupid and living in some loved-up dream, but you saw the error of your ways now. What Seokjin had done was wrong…

“I-I was wrong…”

“No, you weren't,” he disagreed. “You didn't care because you thought she'd betrayed you.”

You shook your head, not wanting to believe his words, even though he was right.

“You just can't go around killing innocent people, Seokjin!” You exclaimed, even though a part of you was just trying to make yourself feel better.

“But I can kill the guilty?” He quipped. “Tell me, is Sana guilty enough to die? What about Jaesu?”

“You almost killed him tonight!” You half-shouted, not wanting to believe you would be okay with them dying, even though Seokjin had a point—you hadn't cared because you'd thought Jaesu had cheated with Beci. A sick part of you thought she deserved it, and your stomach churned at the thought. How could you be so sick?!

“I was angry!” He shouted. “I'm just supposed to stand there and let him speak about you like that?!”

“It doesn't matter,” you dismissed, feeling exhausted and you rubbed your right hand over your face. “You don't live in the real world”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Seokjin questioned, quick to hear the tone in your voice.

“You know what it means,” you sighed, looking him straight in the eyes—the words out before you could stop them. “You're too different. We're too different”

He was beside you in a flash, on his knees in front of you, clasping onto your hands as his eyes begged you to take it back. “No! Don't say that! Look, I'm sorry, okay?” He hummed, trying to make you look at him as you went to avert eye contact. “It won't happen again. I love you and you love me.”

Love. There was that word again. You did love him, you were sure of it, but that didn't mean it was enough. It didn't mean it was right…

“I do love you, but that doesn't mean it's enough,” you tried to tell him. “I—

“It is enough. We found each other because we needed each other. It was fate! Don't you see?” He interrupted, talking ninety to the dozen. “We’re made for each other—you and me against the world”

“Seokjin…” you warned, even though you were unsure what for. Any minute now it seemed like he was about to get a crazy idea—he thought differently to you, despite your similarities. You were different, and at the realisation once again, your heart began to break. You knew then there was no turning back. Whatever you and Seokjin had, it was over. No matter how much you thought it would last forever—it wasn't, and as if to prove your point and stick the knife in even more, he jumped up and dashed to that little wooden box…

“Wait! I know!” He exclaimed, opening it and pulling out the bottle. “I've wanted to ask you for a while now,” he nodded, coming back to you with a tight grin. He was acting erratic and you were beginning to worry.

“Seokjin,” you warned again, trying to calm him down this time, but he ignored you, walking towards you and dropping to his knees again.

“Take this,” he suggested, although by his tone, it was almost begging. “Be with me forever—we can travel the world like you've said you wanted to do.”

“No,” you shook your head, but he ignored it. You weren't even sure if he heard it, he was so caught up in his little idea—his dream.

“We can be together forever,” he said, looking gleeful at the prospect.

You'd be lying if you hadn't thought about it these past few weeks. Definitely after losing your virginity to him and spending so much time together, so in love it was almost sickening. After all, why else would he have showed you the elixir? He wanted you to be with him forever, and you guessed, a part of you had wanted that too. However now—now, you realised you'd been living in some sort of dream world. This wasn't real life. This was magic you were talking about and it didn't belong here. He probably didn't belong here...

“I'm not taking it, Seokjin. You don't even know if it works properly,” you dismissed.

“I do! It will work—I promise,” he begged, his eyes wide.

“I can't,” you practically exasperated, not wanting to tell him everything that was on your mind, but seeing little choice as he kept pleading.

“Why not?”

“I can't leave everyone behind…my parents…they love me!” You tried, hoping to knock some sense in to him, but it just made it worse.

“I love you too, though,” he whispered, and now you saw the change in his attitude. He was beginning to realise that you really didn't want this.

“Seokjin, listen,” you began, bringing your hands out to cup his face as his body knelt in front of you. “This was a mistake. We're not right for each other. You can't control your emotions and that makes you dangerous.”

The way he had flown off the handle with Jaesu only cemented the fact that if he didn't like what he saw, he'd do something about it. He may not like killing people to live, but killing people who he thought deserved it, didn't bother him. It just happened that the things he thought they deserved to die for weren't as big as he thought they were, and he didn't even wait for answers to see if he had the right person.

He frowned, unsure of what you meant. “Not to you though—I love you.”

“And I love you, but it's not enough—we come from two different worlds. Ones we’ll never catch up with.”

It was true. You had been living in a bubble this whole time. Of course, you loved him and he loved you. You had never met anyone who got you so well, but that didn't mean it was right, and now in your rational state you realised it would have never worked out anyway. His life was eternal, never ageing, never dying… Your life wasn't. Taking that elixir was something you didn't want to take a chance on, and living forever scared you. You had so much you wanted to experience… go to college, get a great job, marry someone, have kids…grow old with that someone… Seokjin couldn't give you that. He didn't exist, couldn't have children and definitely couldn't grow old.

“Are you saying it's over—we’re over?” He asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

You didn't want it to be, but that was the only way you could get over him. You needed to get over him.

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered, your voice breaking.

“We can’t be…” he whined, gripping onto your hands. “You're everything I need—you understand me like nobody else has ever done!”

“I understand you, yes,” you agreed, gently trying to pry your hands from him to place in your lap. “But I can't… I need to love a normal life.”

“What, and I'm not normal?” He scoffed, and you instantly looked down, not meeting his gaze.

You had once said that there was no such thing as normal, and you stood by that, but there were also such things as abnormal, and that was Seokjin… still in a world that had grown and evolved without him—still in a world that didn’t suit him anymore…regardless of how much he wanted it to.

“I love you and I want you it be happy,” you tried to smile. “You've made me so happy these last few months…nobody has ever understood me like you—got me like you, but…I can't,” you carried on, shaking your head.  “I love you, but it's not enough.”

“You should leave this town and travel to more places, Seokjin,” you urged, knowing the world didn’t revolve around love. For him, there was so much out there for him to explore. The world was his oyster, but you couldn’t go with him… “This world is a beautiful place, it doesn't have to revolve around one person.”

He moved back slowly, his face washed with shock, giving you enough room to stand up on shaky legs, your heart pounding in your chest as it cracked into pieces. You had never really experienced heart break before—not like this, and you had to fight back your tears. This was the end.

“I love you,” was the last thing you heard Seokjin say as you left his room and proceeded out of his house…and out of his life, forever.

His voice hushed and hoarse—raw, and you truly did believe he loved you. It just came at the wrong time. Maybe if you had been born in the same century… maybe if the stars had aligned correctly; you could have been happy together, but life was cruel, and sometimes you didn’t get what you wanted. Sometimes the people who were perfect for you were just as bad. Most of the time, life didn’t work out the way you want. That’s it. Harsh, but it was reality.

You felt the cool night air hit your face as you stepped out of his home, your hair blowing slightly in the wind as you looked up at the sky, your chest feeling empty. There were no stars in the sky tonight, just the lonely moon glowing down on earth…

It took Seokjin a while to get up off the floor, his knees aching dully as he stood and looked around his room, the silence deafening. He had never felt so isolated in all his time on earth, even through his worst times. It was over, and he guessed he only had himself to blame. He was always to blame. He was starting to believe he could never live a normal life, and especially not without you. He loved you, but it wasn’t enough… What was the point in living anymore?

He walked towards his window, curtains till open. They were always open since you’d come into his life, casting light onto the darkness, but now it was late, and it was black outside… As he looked out at the sky he noticed there were no stars, and the moon looked especially lonely tonight.

It would always be lonely.

[professorsailor-blog]

ALL THE LWYMMD THEORY

EVERYTHNG I have seen. I’ve read so much, I have to get it out in ONE place. Please reblog and Add to it

 References are not always given bc its too hard and this is too long already. But this tumblr post has some references: http://fallingdownz.tumblr.com/post/164766484321/lwymmd-theoriesreferences

 EVERYTHING VISUAL- This is an amazing feat:  http://tayloreputationswift.tumblr.com/post/164808227729/t-swift-the-entire-look-what-you-made-me-do

ALL the TAYLORS prominent in LWYMMD with names and descriptions- nice work! https://swiftie-fighting-dragons.tumblr.com/post/164771476418/the-ultimate-tag-yourself

 NOTE TO TAYLOR: If you read this I want you to know that I know you can NOT “like” this because there is TOOO many hypotheticals and reaches and questions.  IF you wanted to verify any individually- let me know and I’ll make a single post for the one you want.

First: She’s too sexy for your shirt. And you missed the joke. It is because people always say she isn’t a sex symbol. No one talked about that. WHY?

Second: She’s not giving up agency by saying you made her do it--- she’s taking over the persona you made her have----you forced her to be these things. HA! Several Tumblrs have talked about this successfully. 

Intro

What is that building - a castle or church? Is it where Queen Snake lives?

Crows flying over

Some animals running- wolves from OOTW likely and/or Foxes From I Know Places “we are the foxes”

TS spelled in WHAT? Headstones? I don’t think so. Maybe. Thoughts?

First headstone on left says Film by Joseph Kahn

Taylor Headstone

Shape of a T not a cross.

Here lies Taylor Swift’s reputation

Notice, does not say here lies Taylor Swift- Tumbler fan noted the mural that was memed that had Taylor and dates 1989-2016. Dying in video is reaction to this mural- lwymmd. Everything in the video is a lwymmd.

http://themusic.com.au/opinion/music/2016/07/20/why-the-rip-taylor-swift-mural-in-melbourne-isn%E2%80%99t-funny/

 Nils Sjoberg headstone-her pseudonym for This is What You Came Here For by ex-beaux Calvin Harris. Fan noted/Taylor liked on Tumbler that this is to signify that she will ALWAYS now take credit for her accomplishments (also a reference to Kanye saying he made Taylor famous and her speech that NO man will ever take credit for her accomplishments).

Lyrics: I don’t like your little games,  don’t like your tilted stage, the role you made me play, of the fool, no I don’t like you

OOTW Zombie Taylor(Michael Jackson Thriller Reference) crawls out of the grave. That’s the reputation she was when they killed her. NOW she’s the Walking Dead.

Zombie is Burying her favorite reputation of Smiling Met Gala Taylor (Tmblr fan noted that Taylor has reported smiling her in her sleep bc she dreams of people taking pictures of her constantly, especially after heavy papparazzi days, that’s what she lives people.).

Taylor pulls a headstone and all the tilted ones around her get straight (I don’t like your tilted stage)

Tilted stage refers to Pablo tour by Kanye West. There was a point in Superbowl when Katy’s stage APPEARED to tilt bc of the graphics. Read in article.

Something falls behind the headstone she is holding onto. What?

 TUB

Lyrics: I don’t like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie, You said the gun was mine, isn’t cool, no I don’t like you

Met Gala Taylor WAKES UP into new Taylor in a marble tub filled with diamonds. Connects to reference Tay made about her blank space self in a marble tub in pearls. Similar imagery to Katy Perry in tub of pearls in This is What We Do. http://www.elle.com/culture/music/news/a19471/katy-perry-this-is-how-we-do-video/ Also there are several references to Britany Spears bc of her difficulty with Media, including the mag cover of Britney in a tub of diamonds. http://www.famousfix.com/topic/ym-magazine-united-states-september-2000

There is a smear campaign saying it is about Kim K getting her diamonds robbed and leaving her in tub BUT this doesn’t make ANY sense. Nothing to do with lwymmd.

The Perfect Crime- it’s a crime to tape someone without their knowledge in California, but it is hard to fight in court, and it would be a SPECTACLE if Taylor sued—so Kimye get away with it.

You said the gun was mine--- You said I agreed to ALL the lyrics in the audiotape phone. NOT COOL I never would have approved the line, “I made that Bitch Famous”. NEVER. Obviously. And on the tape I do NOT.

Mirrors—first- there is lots of them foreshadowing the many Taylors to come.

In Mirrors Watch: she’s clapping with the music during, You Laugh, (when you lie). It’s like she’s applauding his ability to cover up a lie and make it look like she’s the stupid one. I can see Kanye doing this in my mind. Kind of like this: http://www.famousfix.com/topic/ym-magazine-united-states-september-2000

There are actually diamonds and other jewelry strewn ALL over the floor. Careless with our jewels? Money means nothing to you?  Saw a video that shows how two on the left spell “ N O”,  why? Is it related to the engagement ring box in Streaming Co? Did Calvin propose and she said NO?

Next to Tub: Three watches neatly arranged above locket Calvin Harris gave her. WHAT???????

THREES- a Tumbler fan noted that there are these three watches, sets of three stacks of gold bars, 3 chandeliers in ballroom, and three cars on the tarmack.

Watch is also in car crash hurtling toward the screen.

Queen of the Snakes.

Lyrics: I got harder, I got smarter in the nick of time. Honey I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time, I’ve got a list and yours is in red underlined, I check it once, then I check it twice Oh.

SNAKES EVERYWHERE. The Kim K Snake Emoji that became well used by bad people

There are Roman columns and Et Tu Brute is on the arms of the throne. Essentially- back stabber. Part of a Roman story about Caesar and Brutus and even Brutus betrayed Caesar.

On throne there are 12 snakes, Tumbler fan figured out that Taylor is the 13th snake to make Tay’s favorite number is 13. It’s her birthday. December 13 I THINK?

Someone said that the gold wall behind Taylor looks a lot like artwork from Kanye’s album. Kinda.

Red Dress. Red is typical for queens, but Katy did have a perfume campaign called Own The Thone where she was in a red gown. It was similar to outfit for her music video for song Love Me by Killer Queen (is the title of the video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLXbhpyrX7I. Katy is known for loving Queen’s song Killer Queen and referring to herself as one, even in Swish Swish.

Serving tea, Taylor is captured in pics constantly having tea. Her fans have tea in 1989 mugs. There is a company that sells Taylor’s fave tea. AND, when she says OH! Lwymmd- the snakes drop the teapot onto the floor. Tumbler fan noted that last one.

Car Crash

Lyrics: Oh Look what you made me do, look what you made me do, look what you just made me do, look what you just made me do

She’s singing the song throughout the crashing. Love it.

Imagery mimics Madonna’s video for What it Feels Like For A Girl. (diss or tribute is unclear, Madonnas MV for Bitch I’m Madonna is seen as a response to Bad Blood- but Taylor has denied and takes offense that people suggest Madonna would do that, not sure where M stands on the issue).

Gold Car looks like the one Katy used in MV Waking Up In Vegas, which Taylor publicly applauded, and also similar car Katy arrived to VMA’s in with denim matching outfits with Riff Raff (copying Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake years earlier. Doesn’t matter, except that the intro in THAT car was NOTICED. There are pictures of them getting out of it.  

Gold Car Tumbler fans want to be the Maserati driving down the dead end street like in lyrics for Red. I’ve read several who say it’s a Bugatti. Thoughts?

Wearing dress with snakeskin like Met gala 2017 dress Tumblr fan noted. Hair is blond with typical Katy-like ponytail and Katy- like new bangs over her forehead. Leopard coat is like Katys and one that Katy would wear. Note that it is NOT a tiger but rather a cheetah (faster) that is in the seat with a collar that says 13, and later walking away calmly from the exploding TS building.

Tumber fan noted and Taylor liked that she just crashed a car and all the paparazzi are doing is taking pictures. Especially of the Grammy.

Tumblerfan noted and Taylor liked that the paparazzi are her longtime dancers. http://ts1989fanatic.tumblr.com/post/164790333792/ts1989fanatic-newromanticsinnewyorkportugal

Tumbrfan noted that Taylor is holding a Grammy (in Maserati, the Grammy she should have won for Red) which is seen as Taylor has 10 Grammy’s, and Katy has zero. So there! Wait- that means it def isn’t Katy. BURN.

 Gilded Birdcage for a Songbird- obviously poor her in my gilded cage metaphor

Wearing orange jumpsuit- like a prisoner, but classier. Orange is the new Black.

Has glamour shots like a model (from an article I read) in Chanel perfume advertisement has Vanessa Paradiso (Lily Rose Depp’s Mother) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGtmjZ9Yuj0

Also some same glamour poses as in Wildest Dreams MV.

One tubmlr fan says she has a person sized birdcage in her Nashville apartment. No idea.

Miley Cyrus has a MV with birdcage she might be dissing. (Miley has sided with Katy).  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q

Opens with- “A creature so rare it was thought to be extinct. Well we shall see. Ladies and gentleman tonight In captivity for the first time, The rarest creature on earth.. meeley cirrus”

I read there is another MV for song _____ by ______has swing in birdcage.

Thought of Sia and Elastic Heart MV in birdcage. Don’t think there is a connection.

 Lyrics: I don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me, you asked me for a place to sleep, locked me out, and threw a feast. What?!

A PLACE TO SLEEP https://professorsailor-blog.tumblr.com/post/164816200670/you-asked-me-for-a-place-to-sleep-in-this-bed-by

Kimye are Hollywood royalty right now. They asked her for a place to sleep—IN THE BED in the Famous Video (only 27M views)!!! The video of the phone call shows that Kanye asked Taylor about the lyric, Me and Taylor might still have sex. She thought it was funny and kind of a compliment she said on the call. Just asking for a place to sleep. They did NOT discuss the offensive line: I made that bitch famous. Which Taylor would never had agreed to. But it didn’t matter. Kim released the tape of the call that made it sound like Taylor was okay with it—and Taylor was Locked out of the kingdom.  

THE FEAST- It just hit me. They feasted on HER!!!!! Ripped her to shreds with everyone else. Wow- Taylor is really good at lyrics. It’s probably just that they had some fun parties too. I read someone on Tumbler with a similar idea later. Didn’t grab the reference. Sorry.

Streaming Co./ Biker bitches flash back and forth, see below

Lyrics: The world moves on another day another drama drama. But not for me, not for me, all I think about it karma. And then the world goes on but one thing’s for sure. Maybe I got mine but you’ll all get yours

She’s robbing the streaming co. So obviously she called out Apple Music for not paying artists during trial periods and won. She took her stuff off Spotify. She has an opinion, and people called her out at petulant and greedy, while RICH.

So- She’s Burning Money. Robbing them Blind. She has a team of women robbing all the male employees – Tumblr fan noticed.

Tumblr fan: There is an open ring box that looks like an engagement ring at Taylor’s feet to the right. WHAT?

Hoodie- Gucci, you can buy it. Tiger face on it- Katy’s signature. Says  Blind for Love (Media’s interpretation of Taylor’s romantic life).

Yellow Bat- Yellow and Looks way too much like Beyonce’s to not be. Tribute or shade?

Also someone noted it looks like girl In Suicide Squad. https://www.bitchmedia.org/post/riot-girl-harley-quinn-will-finally-get-her-big-screen-debut

Biker Bitches

5 Bikers leaving a BAR in red lit letters. One has a baseball bat. WHO are these new squad members? OR, NOT squads?

First- IT IS NOT TRUE that Taylor had a lawsuit with a Motorcycle Company for trademarking Lucky 13 and won. The trademark Lucky 13 was held, Taylor didn’t know it, they sued, she settled.

Second- It’s bad add cool, and she has chains hanging off her hat. So.

Third- another reference to Britney Spears of Oops I did it again (got caught by the media) fame.

There is a remix video of LWYMMD with TOXIC that she rides a motorcycle crotch rocket in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6Qr38yUhXE

This one she looks like a biker more (keep on dancing) Til the World Ends. (great song- ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzU9OrZlKb8

But there some photos with a motorcycle that look a lot like Taylor’s. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/27/fc/b1/27fcb14c89cd2d25c99aa554f186e624.jpg

There is also a cute pic of her younger self wearing a Ride Harley shirt in front of a hog on the internet. I couldn’t get a link for it. Google it.

Squad University

Lyrics: I got harder, I got smarter in the nick of time. Honey I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time, I’ve got a list and yours is in red underlined, I check it once, then I check it twice Oh.

Looks like i-robot- Media said so.

Clearly her “SQUAD” – even though only the media uses that word. Not Taylor.

Jumbo Monitors say Squad U, also a cat image, and 13 (fave number)

She’s a dominatrix indoctrinating all the plastic copies of herself. Like Media said she did her friends.

SUPER sexy- not what the old Taylor would do. More on that with the slut drop dance.

Note: Regina George in Mean Girls is QUEEN of the PLASTICS

They are wearing a Kingdom Key on one earring. The plastics have the keys to the kingdom party. http://proudnewromantic.tumblr.com/post/164761708185/ok-but-why-are-they-wearing-a-key-on-their

 Pile of Dead Squad members.

Tmblr fan noticed she is wearing KINKY BOOTs from Todrick’s Broadway play

Tmblr fan noticed: The cube rooms remind one of Calvin Harris’ video My Way. – which the lyric goes You were the one thing in my way. REPEAT that a million times. The video is about someone he wants that is artificial, not real. The lasers in My Way and the T pile of Taylors also look similar, but they are lasers, so they don’t look a lot of different ways. Still- dissing this particular My Way song seems appropriate for Taylor’s LWYMMD theme. See, I was just something in your way –that’s what you said.

Pile of Squaddies- friends who turned their backs on her during her bad reputation days??? That’s what people are saying. (In contrast to the Jewel t-shirt members).

She does the woe is me back of the hand to forehead gesture--- she repeats that same gesture as Met Gala girl in the very end. Why?? dunno

 The Ballroom

Lyrics: Oh, look what you made me do, look what you made me do. Oh look what you just made me do, look what you just made me do.

(I checked and sadly it is not the Blank Space castle where she painted the portrait).

She struts in, and everyone snaps to, because she is so demanding.

There is a toss of a perfume bottle. Possibly Taylor’s new scent? Or old scent Wanderlust- Tmblr Fan

Tmblr fan noticed that they are wearing white earpieces AND using walkie talkies—she really keeps those 8 ex-boyfriends on a short leash doesn’t she?

The fluttering fan that bothers Todrick and makes everyone react—what’s that about? Something!

They get in formation, she snaps her fingers, and they all reveal the I heart TS crop top shirts like Hiddletson’s at her July 4th party. Tom has told the media he thinks it’s AWESOME.

T pile of Taylors

Lyrics: I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me, I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams. 4 x gradually heightening to scream BAD DREAMS!

She is wearing a black body suit that says REP for reputation (I ordered myself a sweatshirt that says the same—looking forward to that).

Her hair has Kim K’s famous wet look. And it looks better on Taylor. Just sayin.

She sneers expertly. She’s an ACTRESS in your bad dreams; not the real T.

She is in front of a TEAL lit letter T that reminds one of a cross but not too much. Not offensive.

Tmblr fan noted that it represented how she’s been crucified by the media, and is now rising from the dead.

Tmblr fan wrote that it shows she hasn’t walked all over anybody else—instead she is standing on the shoulders of the giants of her former selves. SHE will take credit for her accomplishments of prior selves.

Then there are a LOT of old Taylors in the pile. There is a GREAT Tumblr post with ALL of them.

ALL THE TAYLORS- Amazing compilation of ALL the Taylor’s in the pile WITH pics from their videos side by side. https://shakeitoff6202.tumblr.com/post/164749716903/the-taylors-of-look-what-you-made-me-do

ANOTHER similar list that seems to be longer: http://daydreaminintothenight.tumblr.com/post/164733976579/taylorswift-is-this-alllll-of-them

There are three Taylors that take a prominent role.

Red Taylor in sparkly red jacket. She’s determined. She’s trying to rise up. WHY????

You Belong with Me in Junior Jewels tshirt- we see her a lot WHY?-- tshirt with current besties listed: Selena, Ryan and Blake, Lena,

IRONIC- this non-fancy Taylor gets kicked in the face with a GOTH boot from Taylor’s vogue spread http://www.organizedmessblog.com/2016/04/vogue-whos-that-girl-taylor-swift.html

Swan Taylor from Shake it Off

Taylor in silver dress from when Kanye was a putz.

Lasers are activated when she yells BAD DREAMS and puts her arms out to match the letter T, but not to closely. Lasers kill all the Taylors and they fall back. SO SAD. (Lasers are prominent in Calvin Harris My Way video and also a Kanye performance during which he called Taylor “fake”.

Phone Call

Reminiscent of when Kanye called her and Kim recorded it as a receipt. Taylor was SO nice on that call.

A call the new Taylor would never now in a million years.

Lyrics: I’m sorry the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh..because she’s dead.

Taylor’s mouth with the same rings from the bathtub (Including the snake) are talking into a phone very very similar to the phone used in her MV  https://citychicswift.tumblr.com/post/164695845211/she-even-dissed-taylor-swift-era-taylor-this

QUICKLY: OOWD Zombie Taylor pops onto the screen (she’s the Walking Dead, she’s not in the pile)

Ball Room

Back to that sexy Taylor I promised more of. Remember- she’s too sexy for ___ is the song she sampled from Right Head Fred (?). Such a great joke!!!

Taylor has been accused of not being able to dance. So she is DANCING with a vengeance. Literally.

First- she grabs one boob. Then she grabs the other. A great slut drop. Then some hip gyrating camera zoomed in on her hips. It’s just great. She has her legs wide open and does some thigh slapping.

Significance of fingers in K shape over her eyes at start of dance??

This fishnet from head to toe vixen looks a LOT like a Madonna video- in particular Girl Gone Wild. I posted a Tumblr pic comparing them.  https://professorsailor-blog.tumblr.com/post/164810711855/is-taylor-a-madonna-girl-gone-wild-dancer-the

 Set of Flash Scenes

1.      Crash Taylor is calmly walking away from a building with TS on the awnings that is blowing up repeatedly—but it doesn’t seem to bother her cheetah stridely calmly at her side.

I wonder—Is the TS building symbolic of the new way of selling tickets and merch????? Is it revamping her “machine” as well as herself?

2.      Queen of the Snakes Taylor- just snottily singing Look What You Made Me Do

3.      Streaming Co- She hits a ball of money with a baseball bat while cats standby (hitting it out of the park?)

 4.      Taylor picking up two motorcycles and money falling out of them. Maybe just winning the court case- but maybe more??? http://speeknow.tumblr.com/post/164797175837/why-does-no-one-talk-about-the-taylor-that

 Ball Room

More sexy dancing including a killer slut drop on her own.

AMAZING SNEER FACE mouthing Look What You Made Me Do in very exaggerated poses. Wonder if it is copying someone?

Um- She’s too sexy for her everything. Ends with one dancer’s head in her crotch, one in her boobs, and one grabbing her ass in a way that frames it to really highlight that ass that some DJ just HAD to grab as if it were his right. NOT!!

Also looks a little like Mean Girls Jingle Bell Rock https://professorsailor-blog.tumblr.com/post/164817083865

 The Tarmac

Above there are Flashes of another Taylor in a print and brown print jumpsuit cutting the wings off of her jet plane and over the windows spray painting in pink the word reputation. We get a pretty good look thru one window from inside plane. She looks like she’s having fun. 

-        Note that Taylor has had trouble with people tracking her whereabouts by tracking her planes. Yes she has two – which she has been criticized for but a very wise person said that if you can afford a backup plane in case of mechanical problems—you should have one. Esp given her schedule. She has also had to repaint her planes boring colors to stop people from harassing her. So --- is she cutting off the wings so that it can’t fly? There is jet fuel pouring out of it- that symbolizes something- it’s too expensive to just do (yes I realize its water). Clipping her wings. She’s clipping her own wings? She’s saying you won’t be able to find me anymore? IDK. Is she getting a tour bus instead?

Tmblr fans agree and Taylor liked the theory—THIS Taylor is the real Taylor who then calmly observes as 15 other Taylors have an interesting conversation.

Tmbr fans noticed and Taylor liked that These other Taylors represent the other songs on the album.

Tmblr fans have noticed but Taylor has NOTliked the theory that the songs will come from each of these Taylor’s point of view. I wonder if they will be in these outfits in their respective videos? I’d like to get to know that orange jumpsuit Taylor—she is brewing as she stands there.

There is a Cat running around. https://lizzieissexymama.tumblr.com/post/164731134082/notice-the-little-cat-running-along-my-guess-is

The Taylors from left to right are

1 Biker  

2 Blind for Love

3 Rep top of the T

4 Red jacket

5 Silver guitar

6 Leopard Coat

7 VMA acceptance

8 Met Gala

9 Dancer

10 Junior Jewels

11 OOTW

12 SIO Swan

13 Snake Queen

14 Orange prison suit

15 ON THE PLANE- The real Taylor in a floral suit (kinda like Mr. Styles)

 Junior Jewel: You guys!!! Hands on sides of face mouth in OH shape

OOTW: Stop making that surprised face. It’s so annoying.

Swan: Yeah no one can possibly be that surprised all the time.

(NOTE: Taylor is surprised when she wins, and the media have tackled her for it.)

Dancer: What’s wrong with that Bitch?

OOTW: Don’t call me that.

(NOTE: Reference to Kanye’s “Famous” line, which I can’t even repeat. Blegh.)

Silver Guitar: Y’all??

Red: Oh stop acting like you are all nice. You are so fake. (Taylor is accused of being fake every minute)

Silver Guitar: Cries. (

Biker: Oh there she goes, playing the victim. Again. (Taylor is accused of playing the victim every hour)

Met Gala: What are YOU doing?

Car Crash: Getting Receipts. I’m gonna edit this later.

Met Gala: Oh my land hand gesture to top of head, like in the Pile of Plastic Squad members. WHY?

VMA: I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative. (A joke at this point, poor thing really did want to stay out of the narrative. Sigh. People attacked her for that too).

 all: SHUT UP!!!

THE END

OOTW Zombie Taylor’s arm falls off

SIO Swan Taylor does her sink and nod like at the end of video

Other old Taylors are in poses from videos.

 #lwymmd 

[peachhobis]

potions class and you

pairing: minjoon length: one shot, 2.5k genre: smut rating: M tags: harry potter au!, dirty talk, oral, praise kink 

summary: 

"Namjoon, have you ever heard of Polyjuice Potions?"

"What use would you have with that? You have enemies to get back at, or something?”

ao3 link

Namjoon had to be a complete fool to listen to Jimin’s schemes. He was lucky he liked him, or else he wouldn’t even bat an eye at his suggestions.

Being a Gryffindor dating a Slytherin was as hard as it sounds; they were supposed to fear one another, to never trust the other no matter the circumstances. Yet here he was, finding beauty in one with eyes so bright, lips so plump, and a smile so bright it could light a thousand stars.

The duo found themselves constantly sneaking around when not confined to classes or Quidditch tournaments, sneaking in makeouts, messy handjobs or cuddle sessions whenever they could.

Jimin, however, was getting tired of it, constantly whining about how he wanted more and more of Namjoon.

“Namjoon,” Jimin began one day, sitting in Namjoon��s dormitory that he shared with his friend Seokjin, “Have you ever heard of Polyjuice Potions?” Jimin continued glaring at his potion textbook, obviously deep in thought.

Running his fingers through Jimin’s hair, Namjoon replied, “Of course. Who hasn’t?” Jimin leaned back into his boyfriend’s touch, humming in response.

“I’m going to make one.”

Namjoon’s touches stopped out of shock of his boyfriend’s statement.

“What use would you have with that? You have enemies to get back at, or something?”

Jimin laughed, flashing his signature eye smile, “No! I just--you’re going to think I’m stupid.” A red hue filled Jimin’s plump cheeks, causing him to fiddle with the corner pages of his Potions textbook.

Sensing his boyfriend’s embarrassment, Namjoon bent down to kiss the side of his head, “Baby, why would I ever think that?”

“Because,” Jimin began, looking directly at Namjoon, “I’m going to need a strand of Seokjin’s hair.”

The look on Namjoon’s face must have been so distraught because the next thing he knew, Jimin was giggling, trying to explain the situation.

“I learned about this in Potions last week,” continued Jimin, “The effect can last for as short as ten minutes, which is what I’m aiming for.”

“I know all that, we had an assignment on it last week,” nodded Namjoon, still confused as to why Jimin would ever want to be his roommate, “Why Seokjin’s hair?”

“I’m tired of sneaking around, Joonie,” Jimin whined, getting up from his spot to hug his boyfriend from behind, “I want to be able to just walk around with you without people glaring at us.”

“But as Seokjin?” Namjoon laughed, falling into Jimin’s caress, “You really think it's a good idea?”

“I’m top of my Potions class! You don’t think I’ll do good?” pouted Jimin.

“I know you will, Jiminie. I just don’t want to correlate you with Seokjin, but go ahead.”

Jimin released his hold on Namjoon, doing a quick lap of victory.

Pecking Namjoon’s cheek, Jimin excitedly proclaimed, “You  won’t regret this--trust me!”

-

Three weeks later and Namjoon did, in fact, find himself regretting it. Somehow, without Seokjin’s knowledge, he had plucked a hair from his friend’s head, giving the piece to a way too excited Jimin. Since then, Jimin hadn’t mentioned the Polyjuice Potion at all, much to Namjoon’s surprise.

It wouldn’t be until Namjoon got Jimin’s message, telling him to meet him in the Gryffindor common room that Namjon knew he was going to regret this.

That is how Namjoon found himself anxiously waiting in the common room for any sign of his boyfriend. He didn’t know how he had the nerve to waltz into the common room as a Slytherin.

After waiting almost fifteen minutes, Namjoon was beginning to think his boyfriend couldn’t find a way to sneak over, giving up hope completely until the door cracked open. Who opened the door, however, was not Jimin, but his best friend Seokjin.

“Oh,” Namjoon began, “What’s up? I thought you had Defense Against the Dark Arts class right now, dude?” Seokjin’s face was bright, reminding Namjoon a lot of a particular someone.

“It’s me, Joonie,” Seokjin laughed, taking a seat directly next to Namjoon that was a little too close to comfort. It didn’t take long for Namjoon to click two and two together. From the use of his nickname that only Jimin used, to Kim Seokjin (a man who never ditches classes, he might add) sitting basically on top of him, he knew exactly who “me,” was.

“Jimin, Jesus--” gasped Namjoon, “So this is what you’ve been brewing for the last month?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d do it. I’m very determined, you know that,” proclaimed Jimin, taking the time to wrap his arms around his boyfriend,  “I’m glad no one saw me while walking through the halls, but I’m glad I can be in here without judgement.”

It was weird having Seokjin, his childhood best friend, hold him like this. In his heart he knew it was Jimin, but all he saw and heard was his best friend’s voice, gestures, and face.

“I’m happy to see you but--this is weird,” groaned Namjoon, shifting away from Jimin.

“I worked so hard on this,” pouted Jimin, inching over to fill the space between them, “This is weird for me too. Seokjin has so wide of shoulders, my clothes couldn’t even fit!”

Namjoon laughed, finding humor in his boyfriend’s situation, “I wonder how Seokjin would react if he saw you right now. He would flip out.”

“It should wear off in ten minutes, hopefully,” Jimin squinted as if he was calculating the math in his head, “I followed everything the book told me to do.”

“I’m sure you did fine, baby,” Namjoon said, playing with Jimin’s hair. It was awkward, feeling Seokjin’s hair underneath his fingers instead of his boyfriend’s soft strands, but he missed Jimin. He’d take what he could get; it had been almost a month since they’d fully been together, after all. “I’m not fucking you as Seokjin, though.”

“Namjoon!”

“I’m being honest! That is a whole boundary I will not cross.”

“I’m still doing this though, you can’t stop me,” Jimin said, pressing his lips against his boyfriend's in a chaste movement. Namjoon nearly pushed him off before he reminded himself that this wasn’t actually Seokjin--it was his boyfriend, his hot one at that. Relaxing, Namjoon flowed into Jimin’s kiss, resting his arm around his waist.

“Mm, Seokin’s lips aren’t as good as yours,” whispered Namjoon, trailing his kisses down Jimin’s neck.

“Good,” said Jimin, voice harsh.

“Missed this, missed you,” Namjoon kissed Jimin’s lips roughly, just the way he liked it.

“W-What if someone comes in?” cracked Jimin, peeking over at the entrance.

“They won’t,” said Namjoon, pausing kissing Jimin to explain the situation, “Everyone is at Quidditch practice right now--I told them I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Sneaky,” smirked Jimin, taking this as motivation to continue making out with his boyfriend.

They were like that for a while, makeouts so heavy the room was beginning to feel humid, all the blood rushing to Namjoon’s groin at Jimin’s nipping of his lips.

“I can’t take it any longer, Joonie,” moaned Jimin, an obvious tent forming in his pants, “I-I need you to touch me, please.”

Namjoon was conflicted, he wanted to touch Jimin--more so than ever--but he couldn’t get over the fact he looked like his best friend, even if he was Jimin in style and personality. Namjoon’s own arousal was obvious as well, finding it harder and harder to deny his boyfriend what he wanted.

Luckily, Namjoon didn’t have to do much internalized thinking, because soon, Jimin’s skin was bubbling in a frightening manner.

“What the hell?” Namjoon nearly yelled, jumping up from the spot.

“Relax,” Jimin rolled his eyes, acting surprisingly calm for someone whose skin was bubbling, “It means it's wearing off.”

“How terrifying,” Namjoon said, finding it hard to look away from the sight. A rancid burning smell filled the common room, causing Namjoon to scrunch his nose.

“What a mood killer,” giggled Jimin, who now, look like the Jimin he knew and loved.

“It’s you,” smiled Namjoon, touching his boyfriend’s cheek fondly.

“It’s me--I told you it’d be okay,” Jimin said, pressing himself into Namjoon’s touch. Namjoon kissed Jimin’s lips, starting the pace off slow and lovingly. One hand played with Jimin’s hair while the other ghosted under Jimin’s shirt, feeling his boyfriend’s toned stomach. Jimin’s hand began to palm over Namjoon’s clothed groin, rubbing at his head through his slacks.

“God, you’re so hot,” Namjoon groaned into the kiss, causing a smile to spread on Jimin’s lips.

“Really?” Jimin batted his eyes, palming harder on his cock.

“You have no idea,” whispered Namjoon, hips twitching to meet Jimin’s movements, “Your lips were made to suck cock. I want to shove my cock down there so hard you can hardly breathe. Would you like that, baby?”

Namjoon’s filth caused a moan to fall from Jimin’s mouth, “I’d love it.”

“Good. On your knees, Jimin.” Jimin fell to the floor faster than Namjoon could blink; it would be funny if Namjoon wasn’t turned on and found it hot as fuck.

Unbuckling his slacks, Namjoon pulled out his reddening cock, stroking it slightly. Jimin’s mouth was already partly agape, salivating at the thought of having Namjoon’s cock in his mouth. His cheeks were a pink hue, his eyelids were hooded, looking just the right amount of fucked out and beautiful. Namjoon could cry, how did he get so lucky?

“My beautiful boy,” Namjoon said, stroking his cock still in his hand but using the other hand to sweep Jimin’s hair back, “You’re so beautiful.” This praised amped up Jimin, causing him to grab hold of Namjoon’s wrist, halting his wrist movements.

“Mine. Stop doing that,” Jimin commanded. Before Namjoon could have time to argue, Jimin’s mouth was around his cock, cheeks hollowed. A string of curses left Namjoon’s mouth. Jimin’s mouth and his pretty plump lips were way too heavenly; it was something Namjoon could never give up. Namjoon used his elbows as leverage to get a better view of Jimin downing his dick. He was doing so well.

Jimin used one hand on Namjoon’s shaft as he used his mouth to suck on the tip, using the right amount of friction that he knew Namjoon loved.

“Yes, yes, keep doing that,” Namjoon moaned, hand swiping back Jimin’s hair, “You’re so good at this, Jimin.” Jimin hummed around his cock in response, sending a voltage of pleasure down Namjoon’s spine. Finding the courage to take him down faster and harder, Jimin began to suck lower and lower on Namjoon’s cock. Namjoon had to shove a fist in his mouth to bite back the loud moans inching at his lips.

“Touch yourself, Jimin,” ordered Namjoon, noticing the strain in Jimin’s slacks, “Do it just like I do it. Slow at the tip then hard on the shaft--how you like it, baby.” Jimin wasted no time in complying with Namjoon’s order, unzipping his pants and pulling out his leaking member. Namjoon felt bad for leaving his baby straining for so long. “Good boy.”

Jimin began stroking his cock exactly how Namjoon had ordered, still sucking on Namjoon in the process. His moans felt amazing while he was wrapped around Namjoon, allowing Namjoon to feel closer and closer to teetering over the edge. Feeling adventurous, Namjoon’s grip tightened on Jimin’s hair.

“C-can I?” asked Namjoon, Jimin knowing exactly what he was asking for. When met with a nod, Jimin began to deepthroat Namjoon, a skill he had been practicing at ever since they started dating. Jimin’s throat constricted around Namjoon’s cock, causing Namjoon to moan out in ecstasy.

“You’ve i-improved,” Namjoon moaned, finding it hard to speak when Jimin was downing him so well. “I want to f-fuck your pretty little mouth, Jiminie. So bad.” Jimin nodded and hummed, showing his approval. The corner of his eyes were watering, using all his strength to take down Namjoon. Namjoon never considered himself big, per se, but when with Jimin, he did.

Using Jimin’s hair as leverage, Namjoon began thrusting in Jimin’s mouth, force so hard he could feel the tip hitting the back of Jimin’s ever so tight throat. Namjoon could hardly focus, the pleasure so intense that he felt as if he was having an out of body experience. Jimin, meanwhile, was trying his best to keep up. He wanted to do the best for Namjoon.

“So, so good,” whined Namjoon, “You’re perfect. How are you so damn perfect?” Jimin whined, causing his throat to constrict even tighter around Namjoon. That's all it took for Namjoon to lose his cool, cumming hard down Jimin’s throat. Jimin coughed, Namjoon’s cum spilling from the corner of his mouth.

“Oh shit!” exclaimed Namjoon, pulling out of Jimin’s mouth, “I’m so sorry!” Namjoon used his cardigan sleeve to wipe his cum from the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth, feeling bad he forgot to warn him. Jimin laughed, playfully punching at Namjoon’s leg, after swallowing him down.

“You’re lucky you taste good, or else I’d be mad.”

“Let me make it up to you,” Namjoon pleaded, grabbing Jimin’s hand to sit him next to him. Jimin’s pants were open still from when he was palming himself earlier, precum leaving a large wet patch on his boxers. Namjoon reached down and palmed over Jimin’s cock, causing him to let out a high pitched moan.

“You’re so hard and wet. All for me?”

“All for you, Joonie.” Namjoon’s heart skipped a beat. He loved Jimin so much, fuck. If he could, he would give that boy everything. How could people say such harsh words about Slytherins when Jimin existed?

Taking Jimin’s cock out of his boxers, Namjoon began to pump at his cock; it was already wet from the amount of teasing Jimin had endured.

“So pretty,” Namjoon said, mostly to himself as he stroked Jimin’s cock, twisting his wrist slightly to get the exact pleasure he knew Jimin loved.

“C-close,” whined Jimin, head resting in the crook of Namjoon’s neck. Not wanting Jimin to wait for his pleasure any further, Namjoon stroked his cock hard and fast, focusing particularly on the slit of his cock--a spot Jimin loved. It didn’t take long for Jimin to come, moaning Namjoon’s name in the process.

With Namjoon’s hand coated in Jimin’s cum, he was about to get up and find something to wipe it down with, until Jimin took it upon himself to lick it off Namjoon’s hand.

“If you keep doing that Jimin, I just might have to do another round,” Namjoon groaned as Jimin wiped each of Namjoon’s digits cleans. “Why are you so perfect?”

Jimin shrugged, “Just am.” He rested his head on Namjoon’s chest, feeling exhausted and completely satisfied. “Love you.”

Namjoon’s face heated up, placing a kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.

“I love you more, Jimin.”

--

It wouldn’t be until a week later, Seokjin and Namjoon both chilling in their dormitory that Namjoon revealed to him what Jimin did.

“You did what?!” Seokjin exclaimed, nearly dropping his owl’s cage on the floor.

After that, Jimin was banned from their dormitory for a week. Namjoon couldn’t really blame him.