#the kaner shuffle

[ki-yomii]

NINE PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER thank you sm for the tag @crybabychim 💛

last song: autumn leaves by bts (from my bts playlist), madness by ruelle (from my shuffled likes)

favourite colour: black or green

currently watching: bon voyage season 4 and several different asian dramas, re-watching interview with the vampire (tv show) and hannibal

currently reading: son of the storm by suyi davies okungbowa, house of hunger by alexis henderson, and godkiller by hannah kaner

spicy/sweet/savoury: savoury

relationship status: married

current obsession: iced caramel macchiatos and bookstores

no pressure tags: @sunshine-and-sheep @kittycat1dsn @yoongicatagenda @solecize @blackswan446 @ctrlhope @baleuga @seokteoksworld @park-jimin-isnt-real @callmekoyapt2 & anyone else who wants to join in 🥰

[pyrocephalus-rubinus]

Tagged by @two-hands-toward-the-sun to shuffle my Spotify On Repeat playlist and post the first 10 tracks! I'm afraid this list will be very biased due to my "study/work" playlist and my obssesion with Hozier but let's see.

"Big Beast" by 2 Mello. This is the track that features in @thepenumbrapodcast and the track that got me into 2 Mello's album Memories Of Tokyo-To. It quickly became my favourite album for data-entry work. Its funky hip-hop beats keep me awake and focused for hours. Let's see if more songs from this album feature in this list.

"Talk" by Hozier. See? I told you. Well, I've been a fan of Hozier for years and Talk is a song from the Wasteland, Baby! album, which was my 2020-2021 soundtrack. I like this one cause it's not really about politics or love or religion like his other work. No, this one is a horny song.

"Damage Gets Done" by Hozier with the wonderful Brandi Carlile. This one is from Unreal Unearth and Brandi's vocals are breath-taking. For me this song is an invitation to enjoy youth and life, and not to get buried in guilt and dread. Ultimately, the people who are most responsible for our world's destruction will only benefit of our souls crushing and breaking. Let's take care of ourselves and sing loud and strong about the things we care about.

"Little Dark Age" by MGMT. I'll admit this one is a song that just ended up in some playlists of mine for the vibe.

"Rule #1 - Magic" by Fish in a Birdcage. I love the cello and the general story-telling vibe of Fish in a Birdcage's songs.

"Girassol" by ÀVUÀ. Well, what can I say? If you haven't heard ÀVUÀ, please do. The vocals are amazing and the music cures my soul. I blame @two-hands-toward-the-sun for my obssesion with this Brazilian duet.

"Pump Up the Love" by 2 Mello. Yep, another one. Cause I keep this album on repeat for hours! I blame Harley Takagi Kaner and Kevin Vibert for this.

"It's Called: Freefall" by Rainbow Kitten Surprise. Ohh I like this song so much, but this band has many other bangers. Drop Stop Roll and Devil Like Me are cool.

"The Moss" by Cosmo Sheldrake. Listen, I'm a biologist. I am very drawn to the biology/nature themes Cosmo Sheldrake uses to write his songs.

"De Selby (Part 2)" by Hozier. The transition from Part 1 to Part 2?? Exquisite. This is a song that should be listened to with headphones. And if you have seen the music video, yeah I dance to it like that too lmao.

That was fun! If anyone else wants to participate feel free!

[saucerfulofsins]

Drawing prompt, maybe pat tries to teach Jonny the Kaner shuffle? 🥹🥹💔💔

The operative word here is "tries" 😌😌

[idknhlstuff]

See I don't want to say that the kaner shuffle is the reason patrick had a 6 point night, BUT that is clearly why.

[pkanerr]

will kaner’s apron garner a higher bid than jonny’s? (it’s not like they have a friendly wager on this or anything...) | WINTERFEST 07.02.2020

[jaycutty]

SO ??? I just so happen to not go on any social media all day and then I get a random notification while at a friend’s house that there’s now a PTKIII?! I’m still so shook I’ve barely processed this information. 

[fenweak]

Margaritaville night? See you there

[kanerr]

(Going around the fandom and asking everyone this) What is your favorite 1988 interaction/moment?

hi, anon! I've had many different 1988 interactions/moments over the years that have really stuck with me- here's some of them!

1. this interview they did together is still one of my all time favorites, I love the little tease Jonny gives Kaner over his height.

2. the dance offs at the 2013 and 2014 Blackhawks Convention's are also a couple of good ones, especially seeing Kaner get all up in Jonny's space with the shuffle- I LIVE for the embarrassment he gets.

3. I gotta go with the clip of them going against each other for the 2015 NHL All-Star Skill Accuracy Challenge when Kaner outsnipes Jonny and then you can see him tease him over it afterwards, I don't know I just always found it cute.

4. this GoPro video specifically, not the NHL upload because this one shows just 7 seconds more of bonus footage and a little extra 1988 interactions that are too cute to pass up.

5. of course the popsicle eating contest AND the outtakes.

6. the 'now and then' outtakes shown at the 2014 convention

7. and of course the White House visit where 1988 were being super playful with one-another throughout Obama's speech

and now to finish it off, here’s some 1988 photo content! thank you for sending, anon 🖤

[dixie12]

imagine pat gets volunteered for a bachelor auction. and the boys go to support (chirp) him.

it's all fun and games to start- they all laugh as pat tries and fails to be charming with all of the women in attendance, hair gelled into an atrocious, matted mess on his head.

but somehow, something about him is endearing to the audience, and all of a sudden there's a bidding war going on. jonny watches, and seethes, as women are bidding, yelling flirty comments up towards pat, where he's kinda eating them up, shit eating grin on his face as he makes ridiculous fingers guns into the crowd. he even does the fucking kaner shuffle.

jonny can overhear some of the girls in front of him, trying to whisper but not quite managing it. "i heard he's hung like a fucking horse," one says, flush on her cheeks. "and i am gonna get on that," she finishes, throwing her hand up and promising a bid of 300k.

the auctioneer calls for any further bids, and no one says anything. the girl starts walking towards the stage, smug look on her face as she actually licks her lips on her way up to claim pat.

jonny sees red.

"500 grand," he says, voice projecting through the mostly quiet room as everyone turns to look for where the bid was coming from.

on the stage, pat has stopped with the flirting and stupid dancing, and is just staring at jonny, eyes sharp and questioning.

"it's for a good cause," jonny says with a shrug, and walks off towards backstage.

"what the fuck was that, tazer?" pat demands, as soon as he sees jonny and has taken off the little microphone that was on his lapel.

"they were talking about you," jonny says after a moment. "about your, you know.." he trails off, gesturing at pat's crotch.

"use your grown-up words, jonny," pat says, infuriating smirk on his face.

"they were talking about your cock, ok. one of them wanted 'on it' and it seemed weird that she knew that about you! i was just trying to help." the explanation sounded weak even to his own ears, but jonny had never been one to think on his feet and come up with a good lie.

"save me from... a hot girl who wanted me to fuck her?" pat asked.

"i don't.. i guess. it just seemed like a bad idea."

pat looked at him again, and jonny didn't like the smile that was spreading slowly over his face.

"you know.. i think you were jealous."

"fuck off, i can get my own girls just fine," jonny answered. and he could. just last week he went home with a total smokeshow. if he particularly liked her blonde curls and blue eyes, well, lots of guys were into that.

"no.. you were jealous of the girl. you want on my cock, don't you, baby," pat purred, leering at jonny.

jonny felt himself flush scarlet, his neck going hot under his collar as his stomach dropped.

pat started to laugh, and then stopped.

"holy shit," he said, voice breaking in shock. "holy shit you are!"

jonny tried to protest, but pat talked right over him.

"you want my big dick inside you, don't you jonny? don't want me giving it to anyone else? you want it to be yours and yours alone, huh?" and jonny couldn't help it, made a noise in his throat and listed toward pat. pat got a hand on his shoulder, steadying him, and leaned up to jonny's ear.

"it's ok, baby. i wanna give it you. wanna put you on your back in my bed, eat you out til you're so wet and open i can just slide my big cock right inside you." jonny was dangerously hard in his suit pants, and he was pretty sure his mouth was open, panting like he'd just gotten off a shift. "i'd make it good for you, sweetheart," pat murmured, stroking one hand down jonny's shoulder to his chest, fingers sneaking lightly over one of jonny's nipples, peaked and obvious through his shirt, drawing a moan from jonny.

"yea pat. yea, i want it. want you," jonny managed, not sure he could put together anything more coherent, head swimming, overlaid with images of every time he'd caught sight of pat's gorgeous dick and forced himself to look away.

"then let's go home, baby."

[saucerfulofsins]

Jonny actually enjoys camping. It’s a good team building exercise, and they’ve been having great weather by day—even if tonight is the third in a row that it’s been raining. He’s known Patrick for five, and he can also tell that Patrick is adamant about Jonny hating camping, and hating mornings.

He doesn’t. He doesn’t even think he’s been all that grumpy, making an effort to laugh at jokes—even the ones he doesn’t particularly understand—and let things slide. He kind of needs to; he’s already got a target on his back because Sharpy is a menace and Jonny isn’t that good at relaxing yet. Sharpy’s, like, boss-level prankster. Jonny is a noob. (Jonny also doesn’t really game, but David does and he doesn’t understand everything but this, this he feels to his core).

Anyway, not grumpy. But this is the fifth night in a row Patrick tosses and turns, and Jonny is getting really fucking tired of not sleeping.

“Please just—“ he starts, and Patrick stops moving. “Just, go to fucking sleep.”

“You go to sleep,” Patrick bitches back. “Fuck.”

Also, Jonny doesn’t hate camping, but Patrick does. That is not an insignificant factor, here. At least he isn’t complaining about the dampness of their sleeping bags (actually Jonny’s and David’s, matching Toews bags, because Kaner’s never gone camping in his life and by now Jonny thinks that that’s probably a good thing that should not have been changed). Or the bugs in the tent. Or the sound of the rain on the vinyl, the smell of nature, or having to piss up against a tree.

“You’re too fucking noisy,” Jonny snaps. “Settle the fuck down.”

The flashlight flicks on, pale light illuminating the tent, and Patrick shuffles around, sitting up in his bag. “I wanna, okay? I’m just fucking cold and there’s no—“ he huffs in frustration, rummaging around. Jonny sees that Pat’s already piled clothes over himself and it’s—kind of fair, really. Jonny’s not bothered, he runs warm, but already he knows that Patrick doesn’t.

Which is how he ends up suggesting that they share. Patrick nearly crawls into the single bag with Jonny, but Jonny stops him—gets them to zip together their bags, which is a hell of a fucking job in a tiny tent. They keep bumping into each other, and Patrick keeps pushing up against the tent so Jonny has to tell him to cut it off if he doesn’t want to spring a leak, and by the time they’re done Jonny is sweating and they’re both a little out of breath.

And then Patrick shuffles to the edge of the supersize sleeping bag, like he’s trying to crawl away from Jonny.

“I thought you were cold,” Jonny tells him.

“Yeah.”

“So come here then.” Patrick shuffles a little closer but—jesus. Jonny still isn’t gonna be able to sleep like this; he can tell Patrick is still trying to get warm, shifting around and rubbing his own feet together. Jonny sighs and reaches out, pulling Patrick up against his body. And his feet are icicles, making Jonny hiss.

“What the fuck,” Patrick complains, and then proceeds to be more awkward than Jonny is when Sharpy pranks him.

Jonny doesn’t answer; he just grabs Pat’s arm and pulls it over his own waist. “There you go,” he says. “Body heat, man. Now settle down, yeah?” He’s done this plenty with David, when they were younger and went camping late in the season, or at high altitudes. Even if being this close to Patrick makes his insides squirm, and he has to forcibly slow his breathing, and maybe shift his hips back a little from Patrick. Jon won’t be getting much sleep tonight either, apparently, and he’s clearly a fucking dumbass because he probably could have known this would happen.

Patrick is staring at him, though. Patrick is staring, and then his thumb swipes over the strip of skin exposed between Jonny’s shorts and shirt. He can’t stop the shaky inhale and he must miss something, because the next moment their lips are pressed together and he doesn’t remember moving. Patrick’s kisses are eager, deep licks into Jonny’s mouth, and Jonny’s fingers find their way into Pat’s hair.

And he’s thought about this shit before, about kissing boys. He’s known about his latent bisexuality for years, since his early teens probably—with the kind of sureness that rivalled the certainty he would never put it into practice. Yet here he is, out camping with hockey teammates, and kissing one of them. He’s into it, and so is Patrick, and then it’s over. Patrick shuffles back a little, swallowing audibly. Jonny thinks he hears a quiet out-of-breath fuck, but that could be his imagination. It could be someone in a different tent, although Jonny is glad that the rain covered any noise they might have made.

He swallows too, hopes he didn’t ruin things—but then Patrick mutters, “Sleep well.” Like nothing happened, and Jonny is okay with that, because he wouldn’t know what could change, anyway.

Except that Patrick must be warm now because he doesn’t turn around every other second, and Jonny gets to actually sleep. That, he decides, is good enough for now.

[anotherashley]

Just wanted to say that I’m very much looking forward to reading DH, and if you ever wanted to write a story inspired by your tags on that Blackhawks au photoset I’d be happy to be your personal cheerleader because you’re so talented and that tag-fic was really interesting and well done

ajsdhfskjd you’re so sweet! thank youuuuu. sorry it took me a few days to respond to this. with your suggestion, i got caught up in the idea of writing a little something for those tags about: the hawks as an amateur team that have a youtube channel where they record their lives. and your message made me wanna put something down. it’s not much but i hope you like it, anon! 💙

-

“Sharpy, if you don’t get that fucking phone outta my face…” Jonny starts.

Patrick can’t see his expression as he’s currently bent over tying his skates, but he can imagine the exaggerated frown tightening over Jonny’s mouth.

Ever since Sharpy realized the Hawks YouTube channel gets an uptick in views and subscribers when he shows Patrick and Jonny together he’s been relentless. He’s been incessant. Every corner they turn, every quiet moment of peace, there’s Sharpy with the camera, recording every tiny little thing they do, hoping to catch something he deems appropriately “cute”.

Patrick’s been over it since week five of the six months the team has already had this channel. But he could probably handle it on the basis that it was for the team to have some fun, only he’s not currently having any fun. Not when Sharpy’s like a shark in blood filled waters, trying to sniff out when he thinks him and Jonny might have a moment.

It’s caused Patrick to be more reserved recently. Less willing to touch Jonny, even casually, when the cameras are around. It’s not about the team. The team knows they’ve been together since they were basically pre-pubescent pimple faced kids. They don’t care.  They know him and Jonny are stupid over each other, incapable of not being codependent, usually never farther than ten feet apart.

It’s olds news.

But forty thousand people…that’s a fuck ton of people. People looking and seeing. And Patrick’s maybe a little shy when he’s not on the ice. Maybe a little private. Maybe a whole lot protective of what he and Jonny have. So if he’s not reached out for Jonny’s hand recently when the cameras are rolling, hasn’t kissed him before they leave the locker room before a game, or cuddled up with him on the team bus as much, it doesn’t have a single thing to do with Jonny. 

It’s just the cameras and all the eyes he knows are possibly watching.

That doesn’t stop Jonny from hating it, from being grouchy at being denied his hourly dose of affection. He hasn’t taken even a speck of it out on Patrick. He’s not that kind of boyfriend, captain, teammate, or person. But it’s certainly not stopping him from snapping at Sharpy trying to catch a soft second between them to get a sponsor for their next Hawks video.

“Lighten up, Tazer,” Sharpy teases. “I’m giving the fans what they want and that’s your pretty face.”

Jonny growls, but doesn’t look up from where he’s taping his stick.

Skates now tied Patrick sits up and leans into Jonny’s side, doesn’t immediately move away. It feels good, to let himself touch Jonny even in this small way and even if Sharpy will joyfully exploit it - for views. Views that equal money.

It’s true they could all use some new equipment, that each and every one of them is probably playing with semi-broken or taped together items that shouldn’t be used any longer. They wear old, torn jersey’s half the time, share a locker room with a peewee triple A hockey team named the Gators on Mondays and Wednesdays, a middle-aged men’s curling club on Thursdays, and a girl’s high school figure skating competition squad on Tuesdays. 

Their team bus is a thirteen year old Chevy Express van driven by Steeger with a sticky clutch and windows that don’t roll all the way down.

And their Hawks logo is a removable carpet.

So yeah, the team could use some extra money.

“You’re asking for it,” Patrick laughs.

“I’ll risk it for a new helmet. Don’t you want a new helmet, Kaner?”

“My helmet’s in perfect condition,” Patrick says primly. “My shin pads however…”

Sharpy snorts. “I could make a joke here but I’ll refrain because I’m a gentleman and a scholar.”

Jonny reaches out lightning fast and tries to swipe at Sharpy’s phone.

“Hey! Hands off the merchandise! And be kinder to Kaner’s knees,” Sharpy says and barks out a little scream when Jonny attempts to lunge at him again. But then he’s up and moving away, finally, to go bother Seabs and Duncs.

“What’s up?” Seabs says when Sharpy shoves the phone in his face and asks him what he thinks the Hawks odds are for beating the Wisconsin Wolves.

Looks like Seabs just finished his seven seven-minute game night rituals just a beat before and it’s the only reason Sharpy’s currently safe to be near that corner of the locker room.

“Pretty good, wouldn’t you say, bud?” he asks Duncs, who’s sitting next to him.

“Absolutely, bud,” Duncs agrees.

“Their goalie’s a sieve. We’re goin’ to rock it!” Seabs says.

“Rock out with our cocks out!” Duncs adds.

A cheer goes up from around the room.

“What are the chances Sharpy starts editing out all of the cuss words to make the new videos more family friendly?” Jonny whispers in Patrick’s ear and Patrick shivers, just a little. He leans into Jonny just a bit more.

“He’d have to edit out Duncs completely then because I can’t remember the last time he went more than two sentences without saying ‘fuck’ this or ‘fucking’ that.’

Jonny grins, amused. ”Lots of “fucking” - that’s for sure.”

“Maybe lots tonight?” Patrick asks. “Without the rest of the team.”

Jonny’s eyes darken and he leans in, like he’s thinking of kissing Patrick, but stops himself. “Definitely lots tonight. Definitely without the team. Definitely with you under me.”

Patrick feels himself flush and he ducks his head. 

He stands to shove on his jersey with the loose and fraying threads at the bottom when Q and Jeremy and come into the room for the pre-game pep talk.

“Listen up, you fucks!” Q barks, and Sharpy turns the camera on him. “The last time we played these cheese hosers we got blown out five to three. That’s embarrassing for me, that’s embarrassing for you, that’s embarrassing for the mommies that birthed you!”

“So embarrassing!” Jeremy echoes, ever Q’s shadow.

“Let’s go out tonight and show them who their real daddies are!” Q shouts.

The boys shout too.

“Who are their daddies?” Jeremy says. “You are!”

Q shoots him a narrowed eyed look. The rest of the room shoots him a look. Jeremy slinks back against the wall.

“Anyway,” Q says. “Starting line up tonight we’ve got: Sharpy, Tazer, Kaner.”

Clapping starts up.

“With Seabsie and Duncs on the blue line.”

More clapping.

“And Crow in net. Go get that win boys!”

Jonny stands and goes through his usual captain hype talk, with Seabs and Duncs jumping in as the rest of the team stands, collecting themselves into a line to head out onto the ice.

“Sharp, put the fucking phone away,” Q says at the back of the room.

“Putting the phone away!” Sharpy says and moves in line behind Buff.

“Now let’s fucking go out there and kick this one in the ass, boys!” Jonny says, from behind Patrick.

Patrick turns slightly, smiling up at Jonny and tugs on the front of his jersey. “Ferda?”

Everyone is around while they all get ready to shuffle into the hallway but no one is paying them any attention. And maybe it doesn’t matter if they were. 

He pushes up and pecks the corner of Jonny’s mouth, then his chin. Jonny’s face lights up, his smile so bright everything else around them temporarily fades away.

“Ferda!” Jonny says, pressing his forehead to Patrick’s temple. 

The doors to the rink opens and they all shuffle out.

[idknhlstuff]

have you seen the hawks new ad? because pat brought back the kaner shuffle for this video!!!!!!!

I sure did. And I'm dying. It's everything. This is exactly the kind of content I require to live. Cannot believe he did the kaner shuffle and didn't look like he was a hostage while doing it.

We have been blessed.

[kikiskeysgame]

I hope Patrick Kane doing the Kaner Shuffle brightens up your day.

[byramtruther]

i can make wallpapers like this if you would like!!

you would need to send a sentence that you would like on the picture too! also, please send me the phone you have in the request so i can make the wallpapers the right dimensions!

for example, if you sent patty kane the sentence could be “kaner shuffle” or the sentence could be random, i don’t care!

you can send a celebrity or a hockey player :)