#the isolation every character went through in s2 despite the fact that they would all be able to comfort each other if they opened up

[bugsbenefit]

okay okay i'm still thinking about s2

i love that season but but when i say i love the vibe i don't just mean the autumn, cold, gloomy, hospital, possession, UD leaking into Hawkins parts, even tho i do love them all, it's the deeper reaching theme of that season

Mike's and Will's crazy together scene is obviously important for their characters (it was literally so big it was Noah's audition dialogue for s1 lmao) but it's also a good summary of the overall mood for s2 too. because that season is the fallout of s1. they survived all of the horrors and yet they're Still haunted by them. s2 is really the season where everyone is going crazy while thinking they're alone with it

Will is getting haunted (and later possessed) by the UD while his doctors thinks he is suffering from PTSD and the anniversary effect and there is nothing to worry about

Mike is not over seeing El die, tries to contact her relentlessly and somehow picks up on her presence when she says his name in the void which he then thinks was in his head. he subsequently stops contacting her and never tells anyone he ?heard? her speak, because that wasn't real

Dustin hides keeping Dart because he thinks his friends don't understand him or his reason for caring which leads him to hide around his friends

Nancy sees Barb everywhere, and despite knowing Barb is dead she still approaches strangers who look like her, leading to her even break down in a bathroom in Barb's house, which she also never talks about (sibling moment fr)

Joyce is unable to move, on still too haunted and paranoid after losing Will, and is frustrated when she can't let go or verbalize her problem, even with a positive force like Bob actively reaching out to her and offering to walk her through it which should make it easy right?

El is sitting locked away in Hoppers cabin, being forbidden to leave and slowly going stir crazy with the addition of Hopper not keeping promises and "lying" to her. which leads her to her running off and finding out she's Actually been lied to about her birth family her whole life. then she also meets Kali who also doesn't get her which doesn't help

Hopper being confronted with the UD spreading over the town while being the only adult around who knows about it's existence. which means no one is realizing the actual danger of the spread and causes him to work alone and secretively until he eventually falls into the tunnels stretching out under the town where he becomes trapped

the motive of feeling crazy is everywhere. i could go on with the list. every character feels alone and crazy this season. Mike and Will are just the only one's actually verbalizing it to each other and finding comfort in the knowledge of not being alone

and i love the horror on the show. the Demogorgon from s1 is terrifying, the MF looks so good and eerie, etc. but i think the seasons that hit the best for me are the one's that incorporate the psychological into them. s2 felt so good because every character felt alone with their grief and experiences, everyone tries to move on as normal when in reality no one is feeling normal. but because everyone is pretending to have returned back to business as usual they're all left feeling like they are the only one left behind who can't keep up

and yeah i love the sweaters and the giant eldritch horror monster, and the fall vibes. but when i say i love s2 this is such a big part of what i'm talking about. the psychological isolation of the characters was just so 🤌✨ (the sweater weather and cold eerie fall vibes just make the isolation hit harder yk, they're like the spices on top)

[baldrambo]

On Joyce Byers....

Joyce Byers is a bad ass.  So why is she handled with kid gloves by everyone?  This is a bit of a companion discussion to my Hopper post from a few weeks ago. Like my prior meta, I will discuss what I believe to be truths about Joyce and her arc, which don’t appear to be aligned with most analyses of her character that I’ve seen elsewhere. I will make 5 assertions and address each of them below the cut because (as per the norm) this got really long and I am not trying to clog up people’s dashboards.

Assertion 1: We have no canon evidence that Lonnie was physically abusive and making Joyce his victim does a disservice to her characterization

Assertion 2: What Bob represented to Joyce was more important to her arc than Bob himself (aka Bob/Joyce were not really a good match)

Assertion 3: Making fun of/being frustrated by Joyce’s magnet obsession misses the point of her arc in S3, which was about her pro-activity rather than reactivity

Assertion 4: Joyce inappropriately attempts to compartmentalize Hopper (aka Joyce needs to let Lonnie and Bob go if she’s to ever move on)

Assertion 5: Joyce is not a delicate cinnamon roll in need of our protection she is a BAMF and should be treated as such.

Assertion 1:

Our first introduction to Joyce is as a small, mousy, anxious, chain-smoking single mom who….can’t find her keys.  And not because she is is careless. She has literally SO much on her plate at any given moment that the location of her keys is trivial until it’s not.  She works long hours at a low-wage job to support her boys.  She really has no life outside of work, paying bills, and cleaning house.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  She is just barely scraping by. 

And yet we learn through flashbacks fairly quickly after Will’s disappearance that despite working long hours, despite the constant stress….she still manages to find time to parent her boys.  And not just be any old parent, mind you.  Joyce Byers is a good parent.  When Will is out in Castle Byers she doesn’t just barge in.  She respects his personal space, remembers a unique nerdy password, and waits for him to tell her that she can enter.  She then trusts his judgment when he says that he can handle watching Poltergeist. This is later juxtaposed by the scene in Nancy’s bedroom with Jonathan where Karen attempts to enter the bedroom after Nancy has had to lock it.  Jonathan looks at Nancy, a little shocked, and says “she doesn’t knock?” Which is weird to him, of course, because Joyce would always knock.  Now lets contrast Joyce, who is Mother of the Year, with Lonnie Byers who is a Grade A Piece of Shit™. He abandoned the family and hasn’t seen them in years.  And when he was around, he spent his time being a deadbeat, calling his son a faggot, and trying to force his boys into being “manlier” and more mainstream.

We first meet Lonnie in 1x2 when Jonathan drives out to Indianapolis to confirm that Will is in fact, not with his father.  When Lonnie’s girlfriend answers the door, Jonathan pushes past her and into the home, shouting for his brother.  Lonnie then comes in from outside, grabs Jonathan, and pushes him up against a wall.  Only then does he realize it’s his son.  Lonnie hadn’t seen Jonathan in so long that he almost didn’t recognize him, and initially thought him an intruder. Jonathan angrily shoves Lonnie back, who steps back and laughs. Notably, Jonathan does not appear to fear Lonnie and Lonnie makes no attempt to otherwise assert any other type of physical control over Jonathan. Lonnie talks to him like he’s an adult.

When Lonnie returns in 1x5 for Will’s funeral, he is an immediate negative influence who has Joyce up drinking all night, calls her crazy, and starts sniping at Jonathan about some stupid poster in his bedroom being inappropriate.  However, there is no real confrontation until Joyce finds the flyer in his belongings and realizes he is attempting to collect on Will’s “death.”  She screams at Lonnie and holds her ground when he shouts back.  She shoves him. She gets in his face and throws his bag at him.  And then little 5′2 Joyce Byers successfully throws a grown ass man out of her house.  He never raises a hand to her.

This is not a Lonnie Byers apology piece.  Lonnie Byers is a shitty dad, shitty partner, shitty person.  I think an entirely separate piece could be written on the emotional abuse of his boys (although in the 80′s Midwest much of that would be considered normal, but that’s another essay).  But there is nothing to suggest that Lonnie ever hit them, or Joyce.  If the Duffers wanted Lonnie to be physically abusive, they would make it obvious, no?

The most clear example of this? Neil Hargrove. When he enters Billy’s bedroom in 2x8, he has complete control.  Over Billy, his wife, the conversation.  He overtly strikes Billy, humiliates him, and it’s clear that Billy fears him.  Susan Hargrove also fears him, and she stands in the background for the entire confrontation, avoiding eye contact, saying nothing.  The only time she attempts to intercede is to diffuse the situation, diffuse Neil, when he commands that Billy apologize and quickly shuts up when it’s clear her efforts didn’t work.  She then exits the room, first allowing him to leave the room before her. The dynamics here are light years from Joyce/Lonnie/Jonathan.

Ok so.  Why am I bringing all of this up? Because, imo, turning Lonnie into a physical abuser cuts at the heart of Joyce’s characterization.  Joyce Byers is a fighter.  That’s what Bob loved about her.  “You fight back,” he told her, in a somewhat awestruck voice.  Joyce is not a Susan Hargrove. None of this is to suggest that Susan is to blame for what she has gone through, or that somehow Joyce is better for not being like her. I contrast them because the Duffer brothers do. Joyce will steamroll anyone and anything that gets in her way to protect her boys.  If she’s on a mission….if she is trying to save someone…watch out.  Making Lonnie a physical abuser so he can be a plot device, or because it makes it easier to hate and villainize him upsets the core of Joyce’s character. And it changes the entire show.

Assertion 2:

Much of Joyce’s inner strength shines through in S2.  When S2 begins, Joyce can’t leave Will’s side and still worries about him incessantly.  She’s overbearing and “struggles to function” whenever she is not with him.  She is forced to re-live the horrors of what her and her family went through every time she goes to Hawkins Lab and worse…she has to place her trust in the very same people who nearly ripped her family apart.  Yet, she doesn’t give up, she soldiers on for Jonathan and Will.  But so much like S1, S2 Joyce is helpless.  She is unable to control what is happening around her.  The events of S1-S2 make her reactionary, she gets dragged along by the plot instead of driving the plot.

But there is one bright spot of happiness for her…..Bob.  He is the exact opposite of Lonnie in every way.  He is kind, thoughtful, hardworking, honest, and trustworthy.  He put Joyce first, he tried to bond with and be a parent to Will and Jonathan. And he was willing to jump in to the fray when he had no idea what was going on to save her, save everyone despite being absolutely terrified.  Bob Newby. Superhero.

There are some early warning signs that perhaps….we as the audience are not supposed to view this as the perfect match? Jonathan, in particular, doesn’t seem to approve at all, in fact, it downright confuses him.  He confides in Will that he doesn’t understand what Joyce sees in him and later gets agitated when he learns that Bob has stayed the night.  Hopper, too, seems to struggle with it. And while a lot of that can probably be chalked up to the early signs of jealousy, his forced “I’m happy for you” appears to be at least somewhat tied to his inability to take her dating “Bob the Brain” seriously.  Why drop all these hints if it doesn’t mean anything?

It’s the conversation she has with Bob in 2x2 on Halloween that really cements Joyce’s arc and Bob’s central purpose.  While they’re dancing to Kenny Rogers, he starts prattling on about moving to Maine.  He’s in love with her, he knows being in Hawkins is hard for her.  So why not start over again and be a family? “We aren’t a normal family.” She tells Bob.  His response is simple: “It could be.” And that moment plants that seed for Joyce.  What if they COULD be a happy, nuclear family?  What if they COULD leave all that trauma behind them and finally find safety and security?  She starts thinking on it so much that by the end of S2 when Bob brings it up again, she’s all but ready. And the Duffers have confirmed, if Bob had survived she would have gone with him to Maine.

But here’s the thing: what if someone else besides Bob had planted the idea in her head? Would she have wanted it any less?  Or consider, was it really Bob himself that drove her desire, or was it always lying dormant there waiting to be activated?  If she had started dating Hopper after S1 instead and HE had been the one to make the suggestion, would she have desired it any less?  Did she really love Bob himself, or the idea of him?

It’s easy to romanticize Bob because he seemed perfect, he represented the happy ending that Joyce wants, that WE WANT for her, but here’s the thing.  There is no perfect guy.  You can’t move a few states away and leave behind Demogorgons and another dimension that nearly killed your son.  That stays with you wherever you go, and you have to face it and deal with it.  You can’t run away from trauma, and Joyce has to realize this.  Joyce is chasing a mirage. Perhaps Bob was kind of a mirage, too. 

Assertion 3:.

The Joyce we see at the end of s2 seems….like she’s going to be okay.  She has her boys, Hopper’s friendship.  She’s lost Bob but the Gate is closed now, everyone is safe (or so everyone thinks).  But then there’s S3 Joyce.  She’s lonely, isolated, sad, discontent, and restless.  The kids are trying to move on from the events of S1-S2.  But she’s unable to.  She’s unable to move on from Bob, from her fear that her boys could still be in danger, from the feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong again and she won’t be able to stop it. 

So Joyce preemptively reshapes her arc.  She decides she is going to put her own house on the market.  Bob may not be coming with her but goddammit she is going to move anyway and find safety somewhere else.  When she notices the magnets fall off the fridge she is not going to wait and see what happens, SHE is going to go research magnets and solenoids and weird science stuff she doesn’t understand and SHE is going to figure it out and SHE is going bring it to Hopper before shit hits the fan.  And when they call the military, SHE is not going to wait around for them to show up and save her kids.  She’s going to take action herself.

Thus, Joyce is driving much of the plot in S3, rather than being dragged along by the plot as she was in S1-S2.  She is not focusing all of her time and energy on Will and his safety, and reacting to where he is and what he’s doing, she is able to focus on Hopper, El, the Party, the bigger picture.  Will kept her focus narrowed, magnets expanded them.

And perhaps most significantly, the magnet obsession is what ultimately saved the day.  Joyce is the hero of S3.  Think about who saved the day in S1-S2.  Who were the heroes?  El and Hopper.  In S1, El sacrificed herself to kill the Demogorgon and save the Party and Hopper resuscitated Will.  In S2, El and Hopper closed the Gate.  In S3, who saved the day? El?  She had no power.  She wasn’t even the one fighting the Meat Flayer. Hopper?  He was trapped on the platform.  Who closed the Gate and killed the “Meat Flayer?”  Joyce.  By herself. This ended the threat, this stopped the “Meat Flayer,” this saved El and the Party.

I think it’s easy to miss all of this due to the tonal shift in S3, which added some silliness to the plot lines that didn’t exist in S1-S2.  On the surface, obsessing about magnets instead of your son seems ridiculous.  But this shift gave Joyce’s character a chance to breathe, a chance to grapple with her own feelings, what she wants, it gave her a chance to just be Joyce instead of Mom™.  So S3 is about her, instead of what is happening to her. 

And i think, ultimately, this tonal shift in S3 is what allowed that to happen.  If the circumstances in S3 were the same as S1-S2, then the Duffers wouldn’t have had this freedom.  If we want to see Joyce grow as a character, there has to be time and energy spent on her away from her kids and away from the same closed loop of S1-S2. Which brings me to my next point.

Assertion 4:

Jopper.  You can’t expect me to write this long ass meta on Joyce Byers and not talk about Hopper, right?

In early S3 there is obviously a marked shift in her relationship with Hopper.  There are no longer secrets (El) or other relationships (Bob) that they can use to hold each other at arm’s length anymore.  There are no other adults in town now who understand what they’ve been through.  Joyce is effectively co-parenting El with Hopper and it’s clear that he not only asks her for advice often but that they spend a lot of time together.  This did not happen between 1 and 2.  It’s made fairly clear upfront that Hopper is hopelessly in love with her, but what of Joyce?  She’s more difficult to read.  And this is due in large part to the fact that she is more complicated than Hopper and her feelings are more complicated than his.

I am not here to argue about whether I think Joyce loves Hopper.  This entire analysis is based on the assumption that she does because I think the Duffers and Winona have given us more than enough to go on to draw that conclusion.  What I AM here to argue, however, is that Joyce is still grappling with what she wants and (inappropriately so) is attempting to compartmentalize Hopper.

Adult relationships are complicated and particularly for a character like Joyce, who has been to Hell and back a few times, there is added complexity that has to be dealt with and worked through.  She’s been in prior relationships before.  She knows what it’s like to be in love and she’s felt the pain and grief that comes along with it.  She’s been divorced already, had a spouse that abandoned her, children  to prioritize over her own love life, and trauma stemming both from the events of 1983-1985 and separate from it.  Joyce, especially, is fresh off the train of losing a love interest who she got close to very quickly.  You can imagine her hesitation about leaping forwards again with someone else who could die.

There’s your backdrop for Joyce in S3.  Throw a healthy dollop of she has feelings for Hopper and then point blank ask her: “What do you want, Joyce?”  She could probably tell you that she wants to feel safe again.  That she wants to be free of the pain and grief of losing Bob and what happened in S1-S2.  If you really can get her to open up (or if you are a mind reader like Murray) you would also find out that she is still holding onto that desire to have a normal, happy family which includes a “nice guy to settle down with.”  The thing about Hopper is that he fulfills all of this for her, just messily.  Joyce is still looking for that coloring book of life to be filled in by an artist (Bob). Hopper fills it in like a 3 year old with disorganized scribbles that cover the picture but can’t quite stay in the lines.  Lonnie is easy: he never even filled in the lines to begin with.

Hopper shares personality traits with both Bob and Lonnie.  Like Bob, he makes her feel safe, she can trust him, she knows he cares about her, feels more than friendship for her.  But he’s also brash and loud and argumentative and after spending a decade of her life screaming with Lonnie….she doesn’t want that again.  He probably at times DOES “remind her of a bad relationship,” but Hopper is not Lonnie.  He respects her, treats her like an equal, trusts her judgment. But she can’t escape the constant comparisons.

And what I’ve seen from a lot of the fandom are the same attempts to shove Hopper into the “Lonnie” box or the “Bob” box that Joyce keeps trying to do.  S1-S2 Hopper is in the “Bob” box.  We like S1-S2 Hopper. But S3 Hopper, man.  He is in the “Lonnie” box.  He yells and stamps his feet.  This Hopper isn’t “good enough” for Joyce.

But here’s my radical proposition: Hopper IS good enough for Joyce if he is who she wants.  And he is what she wants.  But she needs to let Lonnie and Bob go first.

Lonnie and Bob still have a hold on her and if she is going to be able to take that leap forward with Hopper she needs to put their ghosts to rest.  She couldn’t save Bob, but maybe she can save Hopper.  Maybe Hopper isn’t perfect and has a temper, but that is ok because he loves her and respects her unlike Lonnie. I think if we see Joyce work through this in S4 and join her on her journey of making the decision to be with Hop and making that choice FOR HERSELF rather than the plot or some other force making that decision for her, the payout is gonna be huge.

Assertion 5:

Finally, I wanted to touch on the common theme of this whole analysis: that despite this inner strength, despite the growth and change her character has undergone, she is still largely handled by the ST fandom with kid gloves.  Like she is someone that can’t take care of herself, and who we need to step in and defend and protect against….the world.  Here are a few examples I’ve seen over and over:

1) Mischaracterizing S3 Hopper as an “abuser” that Joyce needs “protection” from, much like she needed “protection” from Lonnie. 

2) Attempting to turn Jonathan into her protector/her keeper.  

3) Defending her when she is in the wrong because she is Mom™ (see i.e. standing Hopper up for their date and being non-apologetic about it.)

4) Analyzing “what is best for Joyce” without thinking about her canon feelings or what SHE wants

As I dissected above, Joyce never needed protection from Lonnie. She doesn’t need protection from Hopper. Or anyone.  She doesn’t need Jonathan stepping in for her and she does not need us the fandom, to decide FOR her what she wants and what she can and cannot do.  All this does is, ultimately, build her arc around men and strip her of her agency as a character.

All the canon evidence suggests that she is a bad ass.  She curb stomps assholes on the regular and saves the day, multiple times.  So why is it next to impossible to find any discussion of Joyce that doesn’t involve complaints of what man (Duffer or otherwise) is wronging her at any moment?  Is it because it’s just easier to pidgeonhole characters, particularly female characters, into villain/oppressor and “the good guy?”  Because if we open her up into complexity outside of being our cinnamon roll mom we worry she could disappoint us? Because we cannot accept that a good female character doesn’t need protection?  What happens if Joyce is just a complex person who is both mom and badass? Focused on her kids and herself? Deserving of her own life and respect for her autonomy? Is both selfish and selfless?

Joyce, imo, has one of the most compelling arcs on the entire show.  We are introduced to her as a Mom who is barely holding it together already and then loses her son, sending her into a spiral that her inner strength alone carries her through.  After nearly losing her kid again, she loses her boyfriend horrifically, and just when she thinks they may have finally escaped it all permanently she has to single-handedly close the Gate, torching the only other man she loves in the process. So she packs her shit up and moves her family away from the danger.  She goes from the most reactive character on the show to, perhaps, the most proactive one.  

She may not have “powers,” she may not be able to effectively wield a gun, but she can knee an asshole in the crotch and that makes her a hero to me. I say let her be everything she is, allow her to explore her own wants even if they are imperfect, let her make mistakes and stand up for and protect herself, and let her be her own person outside of the character arcs of other male characters.

Andddddd end scene.

[sleepingfancies]

I’m mad and it’s about my son so you already KNOW I have a lot to say here.

The thing that is so infuriating about Chris Manawa’s situation and subsequent death is the timing and literal execution of his story line. Get ready, because there’s a hell of an essay below.

Chris Manawa got scratched out of FTWD in S2 after his fan support plummeted when he started down a rocky, arguably sketchy path. But here’s the question of the day: how would that storyline have ended if the writers hadn’t gotten cold feet about it? Too bad we’ll never know, but let’s dissect what’s so goddamn frustrating about this. In stages, broken down, so y’all can follow.

*****************

1. Inherent Good vs. Inherent Evil vs. That Little Grey Area

 Let’s talk about Rick Grimes for a second. Our guy Rick went completely off the rails in S3 after Lori’s death, and still had moments in S4 and S5 where his actions were pretty “yikes” (i.e. leaving desperate, likely harmless hitch hikers to walkers, slaughtering people in a church, ripping a guy’s throat out with his teeth, etc).

“But Clara,” you say, “those acts were justified.”

Well, partially, sure. But on the other hand - that’s what the writers have lulled us into thinking. We know that Rick has seen some shit, been through some shit, and had to make some shit decisions. We know he’d do anything to protect Carl and Judith. He’d do anything to protect The Group. He doles out justice like he’s a walking gavel. We automatically give him a pass for this. He’s a damaged man and those are his family members; we can understand him going a little cuckoo sometimes. And besides, Rick would never go “dark side.” No matter how ruthless Rick can get, there is never any real, honest to god danger that Rick might completely snap. And if it ever seems like Rick is going down a bad road and losing fan support, well, the writers just throw in someone worse - like Shane, the Governor, the Terminus cannibals, or Negan. So long as there’s someone inherently bad, no one will start to wonder if Rick is still a capable leader.

The lack of anyone inherently bad in FTWD immediately handed Chris an extreme disadvantage when it came to his arc. We, as viewers, were simply not allowed to see his actions compared to the actions of someone who had solely poor intentions. We were not allowed to see the actions of a traumatized teenage boy in comparison to a grown ass man holding a barbed wire baseball bat who simply doesn’t care who lives or dies, so long as he’s alpha male (you know who we did get to see that comparison with? Carl fucking Grimes).

Let’s talk about why that is, shall we?

***********************

2. Before (The Good), During (The Bad & the Ugly), and After (The Good)

With most major/minor characters (or even antagonists) in stories of all kinds (but especially televised stories), we see their “before and after” to trauma and challenge. Daryl and Carol had abusive family backgrounds that explain how they can behave and think sometimes. Shane genuinely thought Rick was dead and grew attached to Lori and Carl in the chaos, began to feel responsible for them, even love them. Even at his worst, he continually brings this up, and to a point it does explain how he can think and behave sometimes. Even the Governor had a tragic backstory, both initially and after he lost Woodbury.

Chris Manawa’s storyline is not a “before and after” story, it’s a “right here, right now” story. 

When the apocalypse really kicks in, we as an audience find ourselves right smack in the mid-beginning of Chris’ development. Think about it; he watches his mom get shot in the head, he’s thrust into a world where he isn’t safe anymore, and he’s surrounded by people who make him feel like an outcast. Add the cherry on top that he’s literally just a 16 year old kid, well shit, now you have a traumatized, isolated character who is neither mentally nor emotionally prepared to handle the situation.

What does this result in? Fucked up shit. Bad decisions. Anger - deep-seated, simmering anger that is not being dealt with, but just continually building. Look, I love my mom. Love my mom. She’s the best person I know. I look up to her, and if my parents got divorced and my dad kept telling me to give my “new family” a try, I wouldn’t want to either. I’d stay with my mom. I’d trust my mom. I’d know that she was the one constant in my life who would never voluntarily leave me or force me to hang out with my step-siblings. And then, she gets infected. No one understands by what. My mom is going to die, and then she dies because my dad shoots her in the head in front of me. In that scenario, personally, I would be beyond distraught. I would be beyond angry. I would withdraw and cut myself off and mourn and smash shit and yeah, I’d probably dissociate so fucking hard. Especially after finally trying to reach out to my step-family and getting shut the fuck out.

We don’t get to see the resolve of Chris’ backstory, because his backstory is his present in FTWD. Think. About. It. This is the kinda shit you’d expect to hear 5 minutes of over sad piano music as the narrator looks off into the mid-distance on TWD. This is the kind of backstory you’d expect to hear from someone like Daryl, or Beth. Hell, this almost is Beth’s arc.

And, sadly enough, Chris’ arc being shown presently rather than presented as backstory is almost precisely what killed him. My poor traumatized son. My third and final point is to finally settle this bullshit comparison once and for all, bc y’all see fit to do my son dirty.

***************

3. Carl vs. Shane vs. Negan

You know what made Shane so despicable? The fact that despite the many chances Rick gave him, he continually fought only for himself and his best interests, he continually wanted what Shane thought Shane deserved. He was selfish, arrogant, close-minded, obsessive, and downright untrustworthy.

Does literally any of that sound like Chris? Chris, the boy who tried to help Alicia over a fence and got punched in the face for it? Chris who tried so many fucking times to alert Travis and Madison that he was NOT FUCKING OKAY and needed help but they ignored him at every turn? The boy who kept making steps to leave the group because he thought they were better off without him there? The poor thing might’ve turned suicidal if he had been forced to stay with them.

“But Clara,” you cry, “remember that time Chris shot an innocent man?”

Yes, I do. I remember when my sneaky son tackled Travis pretending he just wanted a hug. I remember my angry garbage boy taking so much satisfaction in axing walkers between a fence.

You know who else shot an innocent man? Carl Grimes.

You know who else repeatedly takes pleasure in killing zombies? Carl Grimes.

You know who acts condescending, dangerous to their own families, and remark on the fuckability of every woman they meet? Shane and Negan.

You know who DOESN’T act condescending, dangerous to their own families, and remark on the fuckability of every woman they meet? Carl Grimes and Chris Manawa.

Huh. It’s almost like... Chris would’ve been another Carl Grimes, if he had had a competent parent who’d recognized his trauma and helped him through it. If the writers hadn’t chickened out by the fandom backlash and decided they were going to see Chris’ arc through rather than cut it short while they felt like they were ahead.

***************

BONUS ROUND: Trauma, Dissociating, and Cries for Help

Let’s just peep at some things Chris said while he was alive, mainly in his almost-final moments.

---

(when Travis is skeptical about joining James, Derek, and Brandon because  the Clarks are a perfectly nice group) “[Derek and Brandon] look at me different [from the Clarks].”

(When Travis says Chris is making a mistake by trusting Derek and Brandon) “I would hide at recess every day because the football guys used to make fun of me. What’d you tell me? ... The lesson was to fit in. I’m fitting in.”

(when Travis protests at Chris’ attachment to Derek and Brandon, saying he’s only known them for two days) “They’re my friends. James is my friend.”

(when Travis says they don’t need Derek and Brandon) “I do.”

(when Travis asks for the date) “No, dad, I lost track. What does it matter?”

(when Travis remarks he should’ve helped Chris) “I’m no good. Look at me. I’m no good!”

(when Travis asks what Chris is doing killing walkers behind a fence) “Making myself useful.”

---

Like. Holy shit, how does this not SCREAM to y’all that this is a kid who has a history of feeling like an unwanted outcast and he needs help my fuckignfw GOD this boy just needed HELP

He’s depressed and dissociating and angry and JESUS. He latched on to Derek and crew in two days because he’s that fucking desperate to be wanted and included and in on the joke for once

TL;DR don’t come for my son because I am upset and moody about this and he will always be more of a parallel to Carl than to Negan or Shane and I’m so goddamn FRUSTRATED that the writers didn’t have the guts to just fucking finish his fucking arc and let him be at peace god fucking damn I just

FUCK

[annavolovodov]

So I read Keep the Home Fires Burning Part Two and I have a few thoughts...

...and when I say a few I mean 2825 words worth. You can probably guess whose storyline most of them are on.

The thing is, the vast majority of this instalment was incredible with two character’s storylines in particular standing out as real highlights for me. Yet the fact that the quality of the rest of the book is so high makes those chapters so glaringly disappointing.

Spoilers under the cut!

Starting with the positives and one of my two favourite characters in the books so far - Pat. Her scenes have been utterly engrossing and I am so, so proud of the way she’s developed since 1x01. She may still be stuck with Bob but she sure as hell won’t let herself be trapped by him. She knows her worth and she’s biding her time.

As I predicted, Pat’s using the Mass Observation columns as an outlet to keep her sane. Since we know she has a literary background and has worked in publishing before, I am PRAYING that the observations she’s been detailing of her life will take off and the series will end with her as a hugely successful writer. Think about it: would it not be the ultimate vengeance against Bob, for her to achieve what he lacked the skill to? Of course I would love Bob to die but that  seems a tad contrived for Home Fires and forcing him to watch the woman he’s abused for years moving onto bigger and better things would be both a satisfying victory for Pat and would fit with the tone of the show.

Side note: I find Pat’s insistence to stick solely to the truth when writing to be an interesting contrast to her husband’s technique. Bob has a tendency to overdramatise aspects of his life and portray himself to be heroic and exciting when in reality, he’s the exact opposite. There’s probably a good meta in there for someone smarter than I am.

I can’t forego a mention of Pat’s quite frankly iconic dragging of Bob for almost a whole chapter. The revelation that she almost straight up murdered him a couple of years ago was unexpected but totally relatable. And some of the quotes from her writing?

“In my experience, men often like to sit around talking about doing great things, but it’s the women who get on and do them.”

“It makes me ashamed that we can be at war with fascist Germany yet exhibit the same base impulse to discriminate against people who simply don’t look like us.”

Pat is a great character.

AND THAT CLIFFHANGER. MAREK’S BEEN WRITING TO HER. HE’S ALIVE. THEY WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN. FUCK YOU BOB.

As for my other favourite? Erica has been an unexpected highlight in the novels. Of those involved in the crash, I was pretty certain she’d make it. She never quite acquired her own storyline in the show, instead largely popping in and out of others plots as needed. I already had Will marked for death since he'd be killed off sooner or later with his illness so it was a nice surprise when he made it out (after saving Vivian!!! I still cry).

Or at least I thought it was a nice surprise right up till we found out his cancer had worsened and he had mere weeks left to live. When Dr Mitchell explained to Erica and Laura that he was nearing the end? When they went home and Erica decided she had to shoulder the burden and remain strong for the girls? Erica finally breaking down whilst the women of the WI held her? I full on sobbed at every single one of those scenes.

I think a lesser series would’ve killed Will instantly when the spitfire hit the house for the sake of drama and words can’t express how grateful I am that Home Fires didn’t, instead choosing to leave us with a poignant and painfully relatable exploration of terminal illness and grief.

I did appreciate the touches of humour in the Campbell’s storyline. Will literally pulled a “Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you saw the last of me” on Erica like 70 years before the meme was invented. Incredible.

Dr Rosen is... intriguing, I guess. I don't dislike her. I think she has potential, even though I’m sceptical at the addition of yet another character when we have mains from S1 who have yet to make a significant impact in the book.

OH AND THE BATTLE OF WILLS BETWEEN HER AND MIRIAM??? The sort of content I paid 99p for. Poor Erica, getting caught in the middle of that. There were many great lines in this book, but I think this might just be my favourite:

“Erica felt a sudden rush of adrenaline, knowing Dr Rosen might get away with a comment like this with some patients, but not with Miriam Brindsley - a woman the rest of the village knew could single-handedly hold off a horde of invading Nazis with a gutting knife for a solid half-hour.”

If that doesn’t sum up Miriam as a character, I don’t know what does.

Speaking of the Brindsleys, do you know how satisfying it is to see them alive and flourishing after spending 15 months mentally preparing yourself to lose at least one of them?

I do.

I mean, they still have a huge target on their backs (Mim’s words in part one about how they’re blessed and are defo making it through the war? Yikes. An omen if ever I saw one) but considering their lack of page time I’m gonna gamble that we can quit worrying about that until Book 2 at the very least.

Moving on, I really did not go into this book expecting to care so deeply about Frances and Noah’s growing relationship yet here we are. Frances excessively calling to check on him every day was adorable. And this entire exchange with the head teacher was legendary:

"Frances didn't want to have an argument. She never wanted to have arguments with all sorts of people she eventually had arguments with; it was simply in her nature to be more challenging of other people's positions than they were used to. It put them on the defensive, and an argument would inevitably ensue. ‘I don’t wish to be confrontational –‘ There was a sudden snort at the other end of the line. Like the sound of someone choking on their tea, perhaps.”

I laughed.

However, despite the many, many positive aspects of this most recent instalment, there is one storyline in particular that singles itself out as Home Fires’ most glaring weak spot.

Of course, I’m referring to Teresa’s story and the awful place she’s currently occupying in the narrative.

Back when the whole Nick debacle began mid-S2, I figured I might as well give it a chance and see where it went. Simon Block was adamant on Twitter that Teresa’s endgame was not a man and what would be unfurling over the coming episodes was a historically accurate depiction of the trials lesbians faced during such time periods. It wasn’t ideal, nor was it what I expected for Teresa based around the promotional material released for S2, but the show hadn’t let me down yet.

And so I have waited, I have given it a chance, and based on the back half of S2 and the two instalments of KTHFB available so far, I am SO disappointed in what Simon Block has done with Teresa. Sure, things may improve in future novels, but right now I’m not sure I can adequately explain how much I hate this goddamn marriage.

Simply put, it is totally unnecessary. Every single aspect of it. Teresa’s chapters in Part Two were awful. I’m pretty sure we’ve established at this point that she is not into men. We do not need to read about her trying and failing to repress her attraction to women whilst having sex with Nick. Even if we absolutely unavoidably had to hear about Nick and Teresa’s sex life, we do not need aforementioned sex scene spread across the whole chapter.

I know this might be hard for Straight Guy Simon Block to understand, but I’m pretty sure exactly zero lesbians are going to want to read about a lesbian character who is struggling with compulsory heterosexuality having sex with a man. I’m bisexual and I found it sickening so God knows how that chapter is going to make lesbians feel. I strongly suspect that some are going to find it triggering, and if the storyline is triggering to the group it is supposed to represent you really have to ask yourself why you are even bothering to write the representation in the first place.

Teresa’s arc in the books so far has consisted of getting married, blaming herself for the crash because she feels like she isn’t taking the marriage seriously (seriously what the fuck was this???), Teresa having conflicting feelings about Annie, Teresa stuck at home worrying about her marriage, Teresa feeling awful whilst having sex with Nick, Teresa worrying about having children, Teresa having more conflicting feelings about Annie and Nick... Do we see a pattern here? Do we get any meaningful scenes of Teresa at school? Do we get any meaningful scenes of Teresa with her canonical close friends Alison and Steph, who she spent S1 and S2 building strong relationships with? Yeah, she occasionally gets a throwaway line in a group scene at a WI meeting, but what does Teresa really get to do outside of being emotionally tortured about her marriage? The change in format to the books has led to characters being isolated in their individual stories whereas the series could allow them to interact more freely, but it genuinely feels like Teresa is stuck in some sort of heterosexual hell and is allowed no reprieve.

And all of this feels completely divorced from S1 and the first half of S2??? S1!Teresa didn’t appear to have any sort of desire to marry a man in order to cover up her sexuality. From the limited screen time we had with them, the main reason the relationship between Teresa and Connie failed seemed to be due to interference from outsiders (aka the headteacher that blackmailed Teresa) and the simple fact that Connie and Teresa wanted different things. Nothing in the series suggested that Teresa was unsure or struggling with her sexuality. Nothing. When the synopsis for 2x04 came out and mentioned Teresa would be asked on a date, everyone immediately assumed it was Annie involved. The prospect of it being a man never crossed our minds because it just seemed so ridiculous.

Another aspect I’m struggling to comprehend is why Alison pushed Teresa towards Nick. There’s no logical explanation for this. Alison knew about Teresa’s sexuality. Alison was fine with it and explicitly wanted her to stay because - and I quote - she “enjoyed having her around”. So how on Earth did we get to this point, with Alison encouraging Teresa to marry a man she barely knows and can never love? The fuck did that come from? The reasoning was murky enough in the show but it’s even worse in the books. Chapter 17 is essentially Alison sitting alone in her house feeling depressed, missing Teresa, lowkey regretting telling her to go but consoling herself because “at least Teresa is in a happy marriage now” or whatever...

In what universe does any of this make sense?

Yet another person being screwed over by this whole shitshow is Annie. Marek was also introduced in S2 as a love interest for Pat yet he’s somehow obtained significantly more screen time and development than Annie. Despite appearing in four episodes and two instalments of the book I feel like we (and Teresa) barely know her, which is absolute bullshit if they’re seriously intending for her to be Teresa’s endgame. They’ve had three conversations! Any romantic relationship between two women should get equal, if not more focus than the hetero ones especially if they’re the only f/f romance on the show. One of the central themes of Home Fires is relationships between women so I cannot understand why the ball has been so spectacularly dropped here. It’s not fair on Teresa to get all this suffering and a half-baked romantic subplot, it’s not fair on Annie to be essentially non-existent as a character beyond her possible relationship with Teresa and it’s certainly not fair on any wlw reading/watching, desperate to see themselves represented and being given scraps.

Even if Teresa's marriage is over soon (which I'm not holding my breath about), I can't see how she'll get a happy ending with Annie in the village. I highly doubt Nick would be okay with her continuing to live with him whilst she was in a relationship with Annie. Getting a divorce and moving in together would arouse a ton of suspicion and defeat the purpose of Teresa’s marriage in the first place. The only way for them to be able to live as a couple would involve moving away and starting afresh... Exactly what Connie proposed in S1, only for Teresa to turn down because she’d feel much more comfortable living a quiet life in the village than going off to a strange place. Having her suddenly change her mind now after clearly explaining her decision to Connie would result in everything post-1x04 feeling utterly redundant.

I just... this whole plot was totally avoidable. It didn’t need to happen. In a more logical universe:

After the First Aid course, Steph notes Teresa’s discomfort at the casual homophobia, and when coupled with her Meaningful Look at Annie as she cycled away, Steph promptly puts two and two together (remember Steph noticing how quickly Teresa wanted to get away after that comment? Remember the close friendship Steph and Teresa have? Simon Block sure doesn’t).

Once she hears about the impending wedding, Steph gently asks Teresa if she’s sure she wants to do it. Teresa half-heartedly assures her that she loves Nick, so Steph - because she’s a good friend and this show is supposed to be about women helping each other - decides to go and speak to Annie.

Annie and Steph end up staging an intervention and in an important and touching scene, tell her she deserves better than having to hide herself in a marriage to a man.

Teresa, feeling supported and loved by her friends, calls off the wedding.

Nick fucks off and becomes irrelevant.

Steph and Annie’s intervention forces Alison to consider why she pushed Teresa away (spoiler alert: it only really makes sense if it was because she was trying to push away feelings of her own).

Teresa, Annie, Alison, Steph and later Joyce start a wlw group during which they talk about how gay they are and how straight people suck. Nothing bad happens to any of them ever.

See how easy that was? The evils of heteronormativity are depicted in a way that doesn’t cause a lesbian to suffer for months trapped in a horrible loveless marriage.

I really can’t express how disappointed I am in this storyline. Home Fires has handled numerous other sensitive topics well but this marriage plot is an absolute mess right now. I do apologise for going on such a rant about it and I hope my comments make sense. As a bisexual, I’m not as qualified to speak on this particular matter as others in the fandom may be and I hope I’ve not stepped out of turn, but I felt that something needed to be said about what’s happening with Teresa right now and I wasn’t sure if anyone else was going to say it.

Miscellaneous things I’m not going to elaborate on because this is far too long already:

I badly miss Sarah, the Farrows, the Brindsleys, Claire and Spencer, and everyone else who is currently out of rotation. Hope you’re all doing well, folks.

Also missing some of the best dynamics of S1/2. As mentioned earlier, everyone is kinda stuck in their own bubble interacting with the same people over and over again. I particularly want more Frances/Joyce, Teresa/Alison and Teresa/Steph interactions.

Of all the random secondary characters in the show, of course it’s Mrs Talbot who returns for the books. I groaned when I saw her name.

Maybe in some ways I’m glad the show got cancelled because at least I don’t have to witness the Teresa/Nick sex scenes with my own eyes. It was bad enough having to read it thank you very much.

If you’ve made it this far you deserve a medal for your stamina and, as ever, my inbox is always over if anyone else wants to discuss/theorise/rant with me.

See you all again on September 21st for what I’m sure will be another 2000+ word rant!