#the ipa here reads as ‘where the fuck am i’

[zeebreezin]

[Insert the ‘we’ll be right back’ jingle here]. Missing Month Moments!

Shaw & IPA-less version of the Avid Horizon under the cut

[horrorknife]

what are your fave most out-there fringe headcanons? like it does not matter what narrative (saw, hs, etc) i just wanna know i love unique readings of things.

GAHHH i am suddenly forgetting every single headcanon i have ever had. Um. fuck my life......................

well actually ok i've had some pretty niche headcanons before, like for 10 years i've had a hc that sasuke uchiha has long hair that he wears in a bun. when i was into [redacted source seriously it's like way too humiliating to admit how much time of my life it took up] i had a hc that one of the characters had a big puffy orange cat and i treated him like a canonical fixture. heres a pic of the sasuke hc i drew in 2021

for saw i have a few like loose ones but these are not so much "i just feel like it" and i do have actual reason and backing for these ones. i love my "he WAS and IS at the club" strahm hc as well as my "strahmrez are both bikers and ride together" hc. i also hc that brad/ryan/dina's trap was done by lawrence because it makes a lot of thematic sense for it to have been him but thats like not a fringe headcanon or anything its pretty directly about the source material. Hey man i think i might be bad at answering questions. club girl strahm attached . oh yeah his tattoo is visible in this i forgot about that one, that counts right? i think he has a dragon tattoo and had a matching one with andie while she was alive

oh i mean theres my favorite hoffheight hc which is that hoffman is an ipa drinker he loves ipa but everyone around him hates it because ipa is disgrossting but adam is super down with it and actually digs it cuz he's so used to drinking whatever cheap piss booze he can get his hands on. this of course endears him to adam x1000. adam does not realize he's just signed the devil's contract

AND OF COURSE theres the gender exploration hc i put onto yosuke hanamura because i wanted to do a character study fic where i focused on his queerness and his relationship to it (if you ever see me talking about or getting asks about hana-chan au it's this lol) but it centers around him (tmasc) deep into testosterone pretending to be a girl so he can stand in as a dancer for one of his friends and it leads him down the road of Being Nonbinary

[automicbaseball]

Opening Day 2024

Last Thursday the 28th was the first game of the year for the Mariners up here in the Pacific Northwest. Up against the Boston Red Sox for a 4-game series, the excitement was on high!

We have bought the flex pass two years in a row now, pay into a bank, and you can then buy tickets with the credit, without paying the tickethamster fees and whatnot. I like this deal, we went to about 20 games last year. There are often great deals for cheap bleacher, 300, or even 200 level seats.

I have been waiting for the season to start for a while now. Kept putting the spring training games on the radio while doing work and whatnot. I always feel better knowing thousands of people are enjoying the live spectacle at the same time as me. It's autistically comforting.

We took the light rail for the first time in a while. I love Seattle's public transportation system. Go to a park and ride, hop on the light rail, and we're dropped off about a 5-minute walk from T-Mobile Park. Great way to get some hot dogs, off-market merch, or just to down a beer before you get in.

I almost always come in the center field entrance with my partner. We like to walk around the field, get some sights, maybe find our seats in a timely manner. Being autistic, we tend to follow a specific plan usually; get seated, cool down the overwhelmed heat, get beers and snacks, then be ready for first pitch! I also have a plan for the goddamn metal detection and clear plastic bags; we always have water and snacks and things to do. My collar almost always sets the detector off, but I just walk through. Shrug!

Today we saw Nelson Cruz throw the first pitch, followed by a 1-day contract, so he could retire as a Mariner. I enjoy these little vignettes. Last year we saw the King, Felix Hernandez' Hall of Fame induction and it brings you to tears (and incidentally, my partner found a pic of their kidlet at a game the King was pitching in almost 10 years ago). I wonder, what it's like to be a retiring baseball player (or any sportsball); what do you do next? What happens if you're not a coach or talking head? How do you go on when your body cannot? I'd love for everyone to find their Ichiro Suzuki role, but alas.

There are many ways to enjoy baseball; talk and pay no attention, drink 10 beers, take meticulous score, wander, it's all a lovely spectacle.

This year we sat in section 328, just behind home plate off to the side of 1st base. I love the hanging sections where there are 3 rows just below the tunnel when you enter. I like sitting on the end of the rows and ideally where it's not hugely crowded, it's just a sensory thing. Last year we sat in 126 and it was crowded, plus the ceiling above us limited the view of the main jumbotron. Not my favorite.

Not to mention catching a meatball of a fucking man texting a picture of me to his friends, writing some horrible words to go along with it. I am a very high-sensory person; I'm always looking around, seeing things, evaluating my surroundings, and it felt weird to see a picture of me on someone else's phone. I kept very calm about it, took his picture, and get the box office to move us to much better seats.

As for the game itself, I don't remember a huge amount of it. We lost 4-6, and we left in the 8th inning to avoid the crowds (we had our kidlet with us tonight). Ate some garlic fries, drank a strawberry seltzer and a nice IPA of some sort. I also took some nice pictures here and there.

Anyways, thanks for reading, I hope to write a little more as I go through the season, about games we attend. I'm not a sportswriter, and really I'm not a writer either, but I have to get some words out. Just who I am.

[jackdaw-kraai]

Jack! I need urgent assistance!

Why the fuck is it so hard to make a realistic fictional language?!

I have literally scoured the deepest, darkest places of the internet to try and understand how to make my own fictional language that is important to story but I just don’t get it.

I have watched behind the scenes Star Trek, Game of Thrones, and Avatar to try and understand how they came up with such beautiful and articulate languages but once again, came up empty, it’s like trying to explain physics to a donkey AKA me.

Can you help me? And if you can, please explain it to me like I am a dumb toddler trying to learn how to write my name for the first time?

Oof. Now, there's many conlang guides out there, but they're all for people who actually like conlanging and I, dear reader, do not. I hate conlanging, I suck at it, and analytic grammar is a consistent foe of mine that I cannot beat. But, conlanging is one of the best ways to introduce a whole heaping helping of realism to your setting as well as getting you to really think about how said setting works as you need to figure out what would have an individual word and why. Now that'll make sense in a moment, I promise.

But first...

Jack's Quick 'n Dirty Guide To Conlangs For If You Hate Conlanging

Step One: sounds.

Sounds (ha!) easy right? Weeeeeell... yes and no. Now, the easy part is making the sounds, really. Just start babbling in a way that you want your conlang to sound like and get going! Sing a bit, put on whatever accent you want, really have some fun with it until it sounds right. You got that? Good, now note that down in plain text as best as you can. Do whatever makes sense to you, but make sure you know exactly how to pronounce the sound once you've annotated it so you can reproduce it later, trust me on this one. But now comes the hard part.

Step Two: IPA

If you don't know what IPA is, bless your heart you innocent soul, you're about to learn something that will make you lose a bit of innocence today. IPA stands for the International Phonetic Alphabet and it can annotate the exact pronunciation of any words in any language in the world. If you've ever had a dictionary in front of you and you see that little section underneath the word where it's written again but like, with upside down Es and symbols that look like æ and đ and even ɮ? Congrats, you know what IPA looks like. Now, this thing was designed by some very clever people with an eye for thoroughness but not for practicality. See, it can notate every pronunciation there is, but boy oh boy, will it not make that easy for you. Read up on it anyway, learn how to use it, pull out an afternoon for it, you're gonna need it. IPA Chart is a good website that will help you out here, it's an interactive version of the IPA alphabet with short pronunciation sound clips attached to each symbol. Done all that? Good. Now we get to the really bitchy part.

Step Three: notate every funny sound you made down in IPA

Yes, every single one. Pull up an excel spreadsheet, notate the plain text in one column, a pronunciation in the second, and leave a third open for later. Notate every single word as best as you can, and make sure to save your work. This is gonna be long work, this is gonna be tedious work, and it's gonna be necessary work. You won't like it, you won't have fun, but future you will thank you and you would do anything for that bitch so get notating until you get to

Step Four: What does anything even mean????

Finally, some fun again. Now we get to the part where you get to assign meaning to each sound you've produced. Remember how I advised you to sing a little song? Yeah? Excellent. A quick and easy way to get a bunch of words sorted is to write a roughly similar song in a language that does exist and one you preferably understand already, and use that as a "guide" of what each word is "supposed" to mean. Make your own rosetta stone! Give yourself a break, trust me, it's much easier this way. And don't be afraid to get creative. See one sound or syllable you used a lot? Great, that can be a pronoun or an article or something else that's often used in a language.

Example: I liked the word "ra" a lot, so that's the word for "I" in Karilaa. From there I picked a few other words I liked and roughly hashed out the following

Ra = I

Ta = You

Su = We

Vu = They

Easy, good, simple. I don't bother with gender because fuck gender, but if you want it, go for it champ, now's the time. And you know what else I noticed while doing this? I was using "ra" and "ta" a lot in the last syllables of words, so I figured out how tenses work in my language as well in one fell swoop and made them affixes to verbs.

Really, there are no rules, so make them up to suit whatever aesthetic you want your language to have, but make sure to write everything down. No exceptions. Everything has to be written down.

Step Five: Rinse and repeat

Congrats, you now have some basics of a language! You can basically use and reuse this recipe to get More Language of the language you already have and guess what! Now you already have some language so you won't have to start from scratch! It's like a sourdough starter! Now ain't that neat. Now, if you do this and keep meticulous notes like I told you to you'll essentially be building up your own dictionary as you go, ready to consult for all your future conlanging needs.

Now, is this how good conlangers do it? No! Hell no! Absolutely not! But I'm not a good conlanger, and if you want this guide, neither are you. I'm sorry, but I'd rather you hear it from me than them when they invoke J.R.R. Tolkien's ghost to roast you. This is a guide for people who want a conlang but suck at conlanging. This is a guide for people who can't do it all neat and according to the rules but need to brute force a bitch in order to get some practical results for immediate use.

Now go forth and create!

[docholligay]

Sometimes I wonder if the reason that I fairly uniquely among Americans consider myself “American” and not “25% French 10% Scottish 5.673% Finnish even though my family’s been here for more than 100 years” ad nauseum is because I’m Jewish. 

I’ve said this before, but usually I jokingly add in the next breath, “So I’m already special and weird” but when I really think about it, I think it has to do with the question of Jewish identity and acceptance pretty much worldwide. 

My roots are from what was then Russia, who sanctioned violence against us, who destroyed our towns for sport, what is now Ukraine, who wanted to be separated from everything Russian except pogroms. 

Neither country considered me a part of it. I would never really have been “Russian” or “Ukrainian” because neither country would have seen me as anything but “Jew”. The  Wandering Jew is one of those ideas that continues, but not without reason. Rarely do we get to belong anywhere we settle. Rarely are we ever seen as wholesale members of that country. There’s always an asterisk. 

And I think it’s a lot of what creates that feeling in me, even in a country where the culture is largely to identify with a country where you weren’t born, you’ve never seen, or have only seen on some week long trip to “find your roots”, and have no real connection to. I have no desire to go to Ukraine. I will very likely never go. 

What made me think of this was remembering a reasonably unkind but illuminating exchange in a writing group I was a member of, oh, it must be nearly 10 years ago now. I was flipping through an old diary last night, drinknig a glass of wine, as I sometimes do, and came across it. 

We were talking about identity, and there were two people in the group who had Polish descent. One still bore a very Polish last name, with a spelling unintuitive to English speakers, and a first name to match. She was where I learned that cz makes a  /t͡ʂ/ sound*. The other was Polish Jewish, long having changed the cz that must have rested at the end of their family name to ch, grandfather with a number marked on his arm. 

A standoff. 

“Whenever I read about Poland in the news, it’s always bad,” she’d said, or something very much like, for that was what I wrote in my diary, “It makes me so sad for my country. Americans never get to see what’s good about Poland, just the politics.” 

“Fuck Poland,” he barely gave her the chance to finish, “I don’t care what happens to it.” 

It hung heavy in the air, and remember looking around and being the only one who wasn’t shocked. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but rereading that, I think it was because I heard an echo in the back of my head. 

Fuck Ukraine. I don’t care what happens to it. 

My family was never Ukrainian. We were never Russian. We were never allowed to be. It was never an identity, just a place we once lived. So why claim it now? Why travel to and pine over a place that never wanted me, in the most violent way possible? 

I write pretty much every year about the complicated nature of America for me, and how I would not be here if the US hadn’t let my family in when they did, and I know that because everyone who stayed doesn’t have so much as a grave to mark them, and the ash of the town that was blew away long ago. 

So I find no draw to the allure of being a hyphenate American, pledging allegiance to a country I never knew. I may as well be where I am, until I can’t be there anymore. 

And I know someone will retort, “Not all Jews feel this way” and I would say, “Once you find something all Jews agree on, we’ll have to add another line to the Shema” 

I wish I had a good conclusion for this. I wish I could neatly wrap up the question of Jewish identity and belonging in a neat drop line that you could carry with you throughout the day, that would take the tangled ribbons of these thoughts and make them into a neat plait, but I can’t do that. Maybe someone more talented than me could. 

I just know that Jewish is the only thing I’m always allowed to be. 

*For those not using IPA, in Standard American English this is roughly and imperfectly “Ch” 

[esmealux]

Planning a Hell of a Wedding | ✓ planning the bachelor party

Drabble 08 / ?

Setting: Post s5, maybe post s6? 

Word count: 1.1K

Rating: T

Summary of the series: The Devil and the Detective make their way through the wedding planning checklist. One is more passionate about it than the other.  (Works as a sequel to this fic.)

Author’s note: Here’s a little more something for you to read while you wait :)

Read it on Ao3

‘Oh God,’ Dan mutters, his eyes lingering on Chloe’s new ring as he spots her and her permanently grinning fiancé at the bar. ��We’ll have to plan Lucifer’s bachelor party, won’t we?’ He looks to Amenadiel and Maze. The former looks back at him with something very close to panic. The latter simply shrugs.

‘So?’ Maze leans back in the booth, popping an olive from her Dirty Martini into her mouth.

‘Look around, Maze!’ Amenadiel half-shouts over the loud music. Cosmo in hand, he gestures to their surroundings: Insane amounts of booze and barely clad dancers. ‘Every day in Lucifer’s life is a bachelor party!’

Maze huffs. ‘Well, not anymore.’ Looking like a child who’s had her favourite toy taken away, she glares in the direction of the bar where a moon-eyed Lucifer is playing with Chloe’s fingers as he watches her talk.

‘You’re no better yourself, Maze,’ Dan reminds her, nodding towards her lap with an amused smile.

Maze looks down, her eyes immediately going soft as they land on sleeping, drunken Eve. She quickly looks up again, feigning indifference. ‘It’s not my fault my girl can’t hold her liquor.’

The knowing looks on Dan and Amenadiel’s faces has Maze clearing her throat and averting her eyes. ‘The girl. I said, “the girl”.’

‘Sure, you did,’ Amenadiel smirks, glancing over at Dan. They both chuckle. Maze looks like she seriously considers stabbing them, and Amenadiel quickly returns to their previous topic. ‘But the fact that Lucifer has somewhat resigned his excessive debauchery only puts all the more pressure on us to give him an unforgettable, absolutely phenomenal party!’

‘Pressure’s mostly on the best man, though,’ Dan points out in an attempt to push down the ridiculous performance anxiety already crippling up his back. ‘Right?’ He and Amenadiel both look expectantly to Maze.

‘Whatever,’ she breathes, shrugging again. ‘We’ll just get some fast cars.’

The two men share a look and nod. It's not a bad idea, actually.

‘And some strippers, of course,’ Maze adds, before taking a sip of her drink.

Dan laughs uneasily. ‘Not sure Chloe would like that.’

‘Not sure Lucifer would either.’ Amenadiel nods towards his brother, and they all three watch as Lucifer declines offers from five low cut dresses, barely casting them a glance as he makes his way to Chloe on the dance floor, her favourite IPA in hand and a stupid smile on his face.

Maze rolls her eyes and scoffs, then returns her attention to Dan and Amenadiel. ‘What about male strippers then? I mean, dude’s giving up dick for at least, what, fifty years? If he’s willing to make that sacrifice for Miss Granny Panties, the least he deserves is one last night of man-to-man. Or man-to-man-to-man, if he likes.’

Amenadiel shoots her a flat look. Dan blinks and makes a choked sound, his throat suddenly dry. 

‘No?’

Both men respond with silence.

‘Fine. Have it your way. Just cars and booze. No strippers.’ Maze looks deeply disappointed for a second before her face lights up with an idea. ‘Unless…’ With an up-to-no-good grin, she turns around in her seat, as much as she can with Eve napping in her lap, and zooms in on Chloe.

‘What? No, Maze,’ Dan protests when he realises what she’s suggesting. ‘I mean, not just because I’m not gonna ask my ex-wife to take off her clothes in front of her soon-to-be new husband’—Dan shudders at the mere thought—‘but because there is no way she’ll ever do that. Trust me.’

Maze looks deeply unimpressed. Then she licks her teeth and raises an eyebrow at Dan. ‘Decker never gave you a proper striptease?’

Before Dan can answer that, Chloe’s ‘Who am I giving a striptease?’ sounds from beside them. Lucifer, of course, is practically pressed up against her side, his hand clutching expensive fabric at her hip—not possessively; just like he never wants to let her go.

‘Me, hopefully,’ Lucifer excitedly replies Chloe’s question, eyes lasciviously gliding up and down her frame.

Chloe must be quite drunk already, or maybe it’s just the novelty of wearing Lucifer’s ring on her finger, because instead of rolling her eyes at him, she puts a hand on his chest, leans in with a smirk and, loud enough for all of them to hear, purrs, ‘I thought you wanted to take this dress off me yourself.’

Lucifer lets out a low, husky chuckle and looks at Chloe like she’s a wet dream come true, and more.

‘Oh, fuck off already!’ Maze grunts towards them and immediately whispers, ‘Not you, baby,’ when a pair of disoriented, slightly hurt doe eyes suddenly look up at her.

‘Don’t mind if we do,’ Lucifer smirks, already pulling Chloe in the direction of the elevator. Before they can get even three steps away, however, Lucifer lets go of Chloe’s hip and returns to the table.

‘Right, but speaking of getting naked’—he glances at Chloe before looking to Dan, Amenadiel and Maze—‘when you do plan my nothing short of spectacular stag night at some point, do me a favour and  keep any kind of ecdysiasts out of it. I mean, I’m all for scantily dressed women dancing’—he gestures towards Sarah performing on the table next to them—‘men, too, of course, but… I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve seen enough of that. And besides, any striptease is boringly PG-13 compared to the positively sinful things this woman does to me.’ Lucifer shoots Chloe a look which can only count as foreplay, and this time, she does roll her eyes. She also sends him an enticing smile, her eyes burning with promises and dark, dirty secrets.

Amenadiel clears his throat.

‘Point is,’ Lucifer continues when he manages to take his eyes off Chloe, ‘try stay clear of the clichés, okay? Strippers and expensive liquor are just Tuesday for me. I want something exciting! Something like, I don’t know, fighting a UFC champion. Or a bear. Or go swimming with sharks! Always wanted to try that.’ The last comment is directed at Chloe, who raises her eyebrows and nods, probably because it’s not the first time she hears this. Lucifer looks to the three (conscious) people in the booth again. ‘Or I could give you Elon’s number. I’ve heard spring’s lovely up there!’

He grabs a napkin from the table, ‘borrows’ a pen from a guy in the middle of giving another guy his number, and actually scribbles down Elon Musk’s contact info.

‘Just be a little creative, will you?’

—is the last thing he says before he and Chloe hurriedly walk towards the elevator, hands all over each other.

Maze, Dan and Amenadiel all look at the napkin lying on the table.  

‘We’ll need more than fast cars,’ Dan states.

The other two nod.

[flockofdoves]

decided maybe i want to casually study japanese in my free time again not bc i’m planning on being really dedicated to it bc i want to really improve my chinese and spanish first and foremost and then even after that theres other languages i’d probably value learning more even if ideally id love to know every language lol. but just because i know i know i can pick out a lot of random vocab when i’m listening to japanese media w subtitles and actively recall a lot of it too and even if i’ve gotten a bit rusty kana is easy enough to read still. and knowing a lot of hanzi (albeit simplified) i’m sure that could make getting the gist of the occasional kanji relatively easy so really i just want to get a bit more in depth with grammar so i can passively pick up vocab while watching shows or w/e for fun

but wow just struck by this is my first time trying to study japanese since i’ve started studying chinese so reading on-yomi pronunciations for characters is so weird. simultaneously both makes it so much easier and a bit more confusing to keep track of kdfjghdf.

also another silly thing is i’ve always thought my japanese pronunciation was pretty decent relatively speaking (like on a phoneme to phoneme basis. i def do not have a hang on intonation or anything) because i could take a lot from learning spanish from a young age and the differences like consonant gemination, uvular nasals, their “u” sound being unrounded, voiceless vowels, [ç] and [ɸ] etc were largely easy enough to figure out with my obsession as a teen with phonetics and constantly trying to imitate different sounds. and one of the few things i wasnt sure if i was doing okay with was its alveo-palatal fricatives. and now that i’ve been doing chinese for a while while i certainly am not the best at chinese pronunciation and def mix up stuff like q/ch and x/sh a lot in the moment when trying to speak without thinking too much i at least know how to pronounce /ɕ/ now. but now i have another problem where instead of going into my spanish pronunciation mode with some modifications to speak japanese i’m going into my chinese pronunciation mode which is fucking??? making me aspirate stops that shouldnt be aspirated and devoicing voiced stops??? dfkghdfkjg. like! obviously i know how to do that already this should not be an issue i’m having!!! brains are so weird. i know with time this passes though i remember when i first started taking chinese i wasnt aspirating stops like p/t/k sometimes because i didnt know how to combine my brain’s phonetic inventories from english and spanish into starting to naturally pronounce chinese lol

also on the topic of pronunciation. getting myself so incredibly stressed about the idea of if えい is ever a glide or if thats solely an orthographic representation and is always just /eː/ in all single kanji examples (tho some ppl are saying even that isnt actually vowel length just pitch??? idk!!!). the people in the comments here are saying so many confusing things and also this doubles as an example of me wishing everyone just knew ipa lol. i’m gonna at least assume that people being much more confident in saying that おう is always /oː/ and not a glide means that theres also no cases where its not just two vowels next to each other in hiatus within the same kanji??

[gnar-slabdash]

Leverage 01:02 The Homecoming Job

Before I even start, lemme just say: I’m a little apprehensive about this. I know there’s good stuff in it because, well, it’s the first standard formula episode so we get to see how things go for the first time when everybody is working together for reals and not spending as much time trying to figure out what that looks like. But at the same time, well....... do I really wanna spend an hour watching them take on the evilprivate contractor  bad guys in order to save the REAL MILITARY HEROES? Ehhhhhhhh idk, let’s find out. 

So the impllication of the opening scenes is  a) Nate and Hardison have been working together to find jobs while the rest of the crew just..... goes off and does their thing. I like this cause Hardison was clearly the one most jazzed about working together at the end of 01.01, so it ties that together b) To me this also helps explain why Nate and Hardison are the ones who set things up in Season 5, they already have this sort of system down together to put things in motion. Plus Hardison has to be around to create the home base cause that’s his thing cause he’s a Cancer. c) The client “found him on the internet???” What does this MEAN how did this HAPPEN? I’m SO CURIOUS. I’ve seen a great post suggesting Hardison makes EXTREMELY MICRO TARGETED ads and I think that’s a pretty fantastic theory. d) Anyway I just think it’s really cute that Nate and Hardison are often doing the behind the scenes work tomorrow and I think that particular relationship gets overlooked a lot.

My wife points out the excellent dynamic of the rehab nurse trying to be a grownup and explain things vs “I’m a Mastermind and I got this but also I am so hungover idek what you’re saying.”

AH! It’s the first “very distinctive sound!”

Does Nate legit have a thing about shrimp? Is that what he used to mess up the guy’s jacket? 

HI HELLO YES I AM LINGUIST AND I HAVE TWO THINGS TO SAY 1. Idk why Parker can supposedly read IPA but I love the possibilities?? Speech therapy? Stealing the Rosetta Stone? 2. If anyone’s curious about the accuracy, YES that is a real IPA chart and YES those are real phoneme symbols but NO theyy absolutely do not mean what phoneme chart real symbols not whart shes saying y can parker read ipa?

lol so far we’re two for two in “episodes that include a cutaway just as somebody’s about to say FUCK”

OMG First “very distinctive” AND the first time Eliot body slams somebody out of nowhere. 

Look I know this follows TV rules but legit Nate may have just done his first murder with that defibrilator. But also I think this is where he’s really won Eliot over finally, Eliot’s just like “that’s fucked up, I’m reluctantly impressed.”

I don’t understand the argument after that scene -- they’re mad bc the kid couldve got hurt? but they saved him, and he woulda got REAL hurt if they hadnt’ been involved, right? it didn’t happen CAUSE of them. Are they just upset cause there was FIGHTING? IN which case wtf did thye think eliot was there for? I get why the writers WANTED to have an argument here but..... I’m not sure it was well set up.

I love the thing where nate pours a drink but then drinks from the bottle, it happens a few times i think? 

lol usually my question is wtf is that accent SOPHIE is doing, but NATE has this one partiular accent/voice/THING he does when he’s acting a sleazy muckymuck, and SERIOUSLY WTF is it supposed to be? 

I like the part where eliot and hardison are just genuinely having a good time together fucking w the guy’s house. like, the banter is great but it’s nice to see them just genuinely getting along too.

LOVE that the popcorn seems to be a running thing too -- first eliot made popcorn for the first briefing, now nate brings popcorn to watch parker steal a law. It’s just, like, they’re all into the “also have FUN” aspect and that makes it more fun for US too.

Okay the “buy a senator” speech plus the “turning the government into a money laundering scam” thing does kinda make up for the pro military stuff. KINDA. 

i’m watching this episode with my brand new tiny puppy and she doesn’t give a shit about the explosions and yelling but she gets startled when i laugh.

i like everything about the scam itself except the stupid fucking optical illusion thing? is it supposed to be a callback to finding out hardison is an artist, is that what? tbh one of the least believable moments to me.

“Corporal. Thank YOU.” FUcking gag me. That’d be terrible even if the client WASN’T a sleazebag. And by the way if I haven’t mentioned it: THE CLIENT IS SUCH A SLEAZEBAG. 

Oh that goddamn tesla lmao. and parker at the end idk what she’s doing and i don’t think she does either but it’s cute and one more little hint that actually she’s kind of the main character. 

i miss how in the early seasons they did that cw thing where they play sad indie artists at the end? It only happens like two or three times but it’s cute.

[billy-delos]

What I like about you

*gif isn’t mine*

You had hoped that Frank and Karen would finally get their act together before Valentine’s Day so that they’d actually have plans instead of sitting at your dining room table with you and Billy. At least they could have had a semblance of a Valentine’s Day together if they’d just stopped doing their weird dance around each other and admit they had feelings for each other. Karen had been showing interest in Frank for a while now, dropping hints every so often that you and Billy had picked up on. You were pretty sure that Frank had picked up on it himself, and was interested or else he would have gently but firmly shut her down as you’d seen him do with women that would flirt with him in the bar. You also knew though that losing his family had caused him to be hesitant to let anyone get too close.

You had tried to ignore the fact that you were spending Valentine’s Day with Billy after you finally acknowledged that your feelings for him had crossed beyond friendship. Billy didn’t reciprocate it and you knew that and that was fine; he’d never given you any indication that he was interested which was fine. Nevertheless, your mind had wondered what a proper Valentine’s day would be like with Billy. You doubted he’d be particularly

But you’d ordered a couple of pizzas and Billy had brought some IPAs which he swore tasted completely different than the generic beers that you’d order at a bar.

“How are you doing?” Billy asked as he was helping you in the kitchen grab plates and cups.

“I’m fine,” you shrugged, “Why? Do I not seem fine?”

Billy cleared his throat, “No, it’s just I know that Valentine’s Day can be hard sometimes for some people…”

“Oh, because I’m single?” you asked.

Billy looked slightly embarrassed.

“No, I mean maybe a few years ago it would have been rough and I’d be watching a bunch of rom-coms and wondering why it wasn’t me, but not now. I guess the way I’ve thought of the holiday has changed.”

“How so?” Billy asked.

“Well, it’s a holiday about love, right? And I know that it’s really been interpreted as a holiday for romantic love which I get, but I think it’s also just a great time to just appreciate all the love we have in our lives in all forms. Because I realize how much love I have in my life with you and Frank and Karen and my family and my dog even and why should I focus on being single and being sad about it when there’s so much that I could celebrate.”

“Interesting perspective.”

“Well, it’s definitely not going to sell any Hallmark cards,” you laughed.

“I like it though,” Billy said, “I kind of think this holiday is bullshit.”

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I mean, if you love someone you should let them know, right? Everyday, make sure that they’re happy and they know that they’re loved and wanted.” Your heart fluttered hearing Billy’s words and you knew that his view had been formed by his childhood and his relationship with his mother.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” you said and pulled Billy into a tight side hug.

“Come on,”

“So, do you have any Valentine’s Day traditions?” Frank asked.

Karen just shook her head, “I’m usually working, but in the past few years I’ve gone to a couple of Galentine’s events.”

“Y/N?”

You shrugged and picked at the crust that remained on your plate, “In college, my single friends and I- and sometimes people who wouldn’t be with their partners- would hang out and say what we loved about each other. Because so frequently we don’t necessarily tell people what we love about them,” you smiled at the memory and shrugged.

“Let’s do it,” Frank said.

“What?”

“Yeah, come on, let’s see, Billy, you son of a bitch, we’ve gone through two tours of duty together and you’re family you know that, I love that you’ll always have my back and I’ll always have yours. Y/N, I fucking love you for being so damn nice to everyone all the time. And Karen, you are probably one of the most incredible, stunning, intelligent people I’ve ever met and I’m so, so privileged to have you in my life.”

You couldn’t help but grin as Karen flushed at the compliment, she reached over and gently squeezed Frank’s arm. You glanced over to Billy who was beaming.

“Awww… look even Frank has a heart,” Billy teased.

“Okay, I’ll go,” you said. “Frank, I love that you would give the shirt off your back to anyone in need. Karen, you are my work wife and I love you, and Billy you care so damn much about everything, especially your friends and I love that about you.”

Karen went next, “Y/N, I love how opinionated you are and how you don’t care about what other people think. Billy, I love how hard you have worked to get to where you are. And Frank, you are probably the best person I know and I love the person you are and the person that you are becoming.”

“Billy?” you looked expectantly to him.

“Frankie, I love that you probably understand me better than anyone else. Karen, you are such a badass and I love that, and Y/N,” he paused, “I love that you’re smart.”

Your smile froze on your face. What Billy had said was nice, it was just so impersonal. Karen and Frank seemed to notice how Billy had said such nice things about them and for you it was different. Nevertheless, you forced a smile on your face, “Thanks, Billy,” you said.

“Early day tomorrow?” Frank asked.

“Yeah, not work though, but I have an early morning yoga session,” you said.

“We should probably head out soon anyways,” Frank said.

You walked them out to the door and hugged Billy and Frank before they headed out into the hallway. Karen lingered for a second and hugged you, “sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” you said. You had never talked to Karen about your crush on Billy since you all were friends but Karen was too observant to not notice. She tracked down criminals and wrote about them for a living, she was notice something as obvious as your crush on Billy, “good luck with Frank tonight.”

You waved goodbye and sighed. It was hard not to take it personally. Billy had been so sincere and thoughtful with the other two and less so with you, but if there was an upside to this, maybe this was the clarity you needed to move on from Billy and actually try to date someone.

 You were startled awake by a knock on the door a few hours after you’d gone to sleep. 12:07, your clock read as you stumbled to the door. “Billy, is everything okay?” you asked as you opened the door to see him on the other side.

“Honestly, I spent the past two hours first listening to Frank tear into me and then thinking whether or not I should come over here,” Billy said.

“Can this wait until tomorrow? I have to be up in five hours,” you asked.

“No, sorry I have to say this now before I chicken out and then I’ll go and you can decide if you want to talk about this more in the morning or if you don’t.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out,” you said.                

“I messed up tonight, I told you I loved that you are smart and I meant it and it’s true, but what I should have said was that I love that you have made a home for all of us, I love how you talk about things that you’re passionate about, I love how you don’t pity me but accept me for who I am, I love that you’d rather read in a book in a café than go to a cup… I just love you,” Billy said.

You smiled, “I love you, too,” and you pulled him down for a kiss. It was soft and slow and cautious but certain. You smiled as you pulled away apologetically, “I do need to go to bed though soon.”

“Okay,” Billy said, “Shit, it’s no longer Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s okay, we’ll have next year,” you said with certainty and a smile. Billy went to leave but you held onto his hand, “Stay.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah, let’s just sleep,” you said with a smile as you led him to your bedroom and he curled up next to you under the covers. You gently rested your forehead against his, “This was probably the best Valentine’s Day, Billy, so thank you.”

Billy pulled you over so that your head lay on his chest, “it was the best one for me as well so thank you.”

[mightbewriting]

2 and 9, madame!!!

oooh friend hitting me with the tough ones!

2: Which author has influenced you the most?

this is such a toss up. ve schwab is so accessible on the internet and is so wildly encouraging and positive about writing, even when it’s not fun, that outside of the fact that i adore her words (a darker shade of magic trilogy is so great) she’s also such a great inspiration just like, generally. also i went to a talk she did last year and i got to meet her and she is lovely and we nerded out about alias and she signed my DSoM trilogy and i could gush for days. im also that person who genuinely loves shakespeare. i have a really weird comedy of errors shaped soft spot in my heart. and his use/abuse of language is just the best. also edgar allen poe is like, my mood. generally.

-insert intermission here where ive been sitting on my patio enjoying a beer while typing this and a fly just tried to drown itself in my ipa and i am DISTRAUGHT-

9: If you could wish for a new book from any author, who would it be?

im gonna need jasper fforde to write a fucking sequel to shades of grey please and thanks. i’ve been waiting 11 years. the internet still insists it's going to eventually be a trilogy. i don’t buy it jasper. why are you lying to me? write the damn sequel this is the greatest satirical dystopian i have ever read and i need more. 

<3

[redevenir]

Hi! @lxveille I wanted to send it to you via message but it is way too long, and since we don’t each other I thought it might be weird?

I’m not sure how to put it, but I’ve been reading your blog quite a lot for the past few months, and, well, while I was on my phone and couldn’t log in, I still left a few feedback here and there, but apparently they never reached you because I can’t find them on your blog, which sucks because everyone likes them and I feel like you should definitely know that here I am, appreciating your efforts past and present, and I figured, rather than sending you tiny messages, I’ll give you a very general review of the pieces I’ve read – it will be short, but please, do not hesitate if you want me to explain something, I know you’re not in my head and I might get confusing, I don’t know!! (Also, if you’ve spent a lot of time on a piece, it’s only natural to want to know more precisely what one liked in it, so feel free, I have zero thing to do and quarantine for another 3 weeks at least – probably until september so, cheers to that) And you can see I still have a lot to read !!! I’m saving them up !! It’s so hard!! Hopefully this isn’t overwhelming, since I had the time I thought «just do it» and well here we are. Have a nice day and take care of yourself!

(also sorry for the numerous typos you’ll find in this – or, to be precise, the missing words. This is my cross to bear I guess)

Seungcheol

if a tree fell in the woods, like i fell for you: *see beat [it] or [around the bush]

Joshua

as in ‘crush’ → ‘crush’ follow-up : the realness of the struggle is real, oh dear. Not only is IPA hard to grasp but I had a very shitty teacher and, well!! I’m amazed. Also love the awkwardness in this, sometimes I had to stop because of second hand embarrassment – by the way, this is something I often feel in the way you write Joshua, there’s something slightly awkward but not unpleasant, if you know what I mean? Awkward in a good way?

100 ways N°68 : I loved it!! bartender but make it space-y! Like in the Seungkwan space au, I really appreciate the grounding aspect that comes with a «normal» job set in an exotic(??) au. Your world-building (and I mean it everytime) is spot on!

revel : Well, you just Maupassant-ed all over the place, that’s it, I’m in high school again wondering what the fuck really happened.

alibi : why is the mc so rude to him??? Be tolerant !!!

drunk : see!! the awkwardness!! It’s here again, in a gentle, caring way but!!

paradigm shift : What happened to them? Where are they now? Are they ok? Did they ever meet the radio people? Part of me wants to know, part of me wants to keep it unsure so I can imagine what happened after. Also love a little heat in those panicky times.

Spill : I know the feeling. I know.

Hoshi

when the music’s right : honestly, still not sure about it, but I’m glad it exists in its own weird way.

trust fall → acquiescence → sanctuary → insolation : I saw your answer to an anon saying  the last part had «kinda flopped» so let me tell you: it was a nice end for an amazing au, it had everything and I for one cherish it for

100 ways N° 7 + 38 → apricot → of fawn and fences : the world building!! I want to take classes and learn this world’s History! I love that Soonyoung is portrayed as learning about his civilization, I think it draws a nice parallel between him and us readers, as we are both discovering/ surprised as much as he is, whereas mc seems more educated – in their own way.

100 ways N° 40 : you said it yourself « sweetheart soonyoung » well yes this is what I’m here for (among other things)

100 ways N° 42 + 50 : Every time I read one of your university au I love it. Every single time. The balance between the softness of your characters and the hardships of uni (to put it in a gentle way) makes them raw yet comforting.

beat [it] or [around the bush] : since january I’ve read this thrice, it’s never far in my head. I don’t really know how to express it but really thank you for writing it. In a way, I feel like you morning afters speak to me on a very deep level, I can connect with every single one of those I’ve read, and they all moved me like a groundswell (you can say that in french, hopefully it makes sense in english too) In conclusion they felt very personal and maybe I’m taking this too much at heart but I’m genuinely grateful you wrote them.

Wonwoo

implications : shed a few tears, loved it, loved it, loved it, in a 1984 kind of way – if you’ve seen the movie, this is the aesthetic I pictured. Really witty take on soulmates au. Super moving.

Woozi

crepuscule : love it love it love it. Don’t know what to say, I just enjoy every single word of it. It’s a treat, a candy.

happenstance : this is one of my favorite trope (is it even one though?) slice of life/shy shy shyness/university au  but in the end it’s not left unsaid so it’s super satisfying. Also a treat.

100 ways N° 12 : soft boyish bub.

100 ways N° 8 : my heart, just take it.

Sequestered : cried real tears, thank god I was alone the day I finished it.

caveat → impulse : I felt wrong to feel it was very wrong omg. Left it feeling living with a zombie might be manageable after all – who knew!

in a moment → now you, too : !!! yes!!! I !!! have no words!! that’s it!! that’s the dream!!!

charmed, unsure : heavy vibes of Only lovers left alive, which I love

asking daisies and the art of faking : *see beat [it] or [around the bush]

Mingyu

caught : as I’ve said before : What happened to them? Where is mc now? Are they ok? Also I remember whispering « noo » at the very end. The timing is very efficient, and all the details you’ve put here and there only left me wanting more: what happened before? What happens after?

Seungkwan

100 ways N° 38 : for the love of god just fall in love already

100 ways N° 57 : yes ! YES ! Space kid Seungkwan for the win !!

100 ways N° 83 : « Except there absolutely is a reason, if only either one of you would work of the nerve to name it. » That’s my jam, that’s it. I’m a bit tired now so I know I could do these fœtus reviews way better! But it doesn’t mean I love them any less !!

Vernon

easy as… (pt.1) :  I.. just, petition for making this into a tv show ? Please ? It is enthralling.

Dino

100 ways N° 37 : cute, Chan is cute. This is cute!

100 ways N° 14 : slice of life but make it apocalyptic. I’ve rand out of things to say but this? I’ve mentioned before there are some of your pieces I consider the reading equivalent of sweets. This is one of them. 15/10 would personally love a long Dino-centered apocalypse au. (among many other things but who knows! Maybe I’ll be the one to write it) (also consider: space Dino) (space college boy dino)(i’ll shut it now)

lee chan would like to buy a vowel : I remember sending you a message expressing my love for this one, but, since it never reached you !! a master piece!!! the way you write dino is so relatable?? *see also beat [it] or [around the bush]

That’s it for me.

Love.

PS : it doesn't have to remain on tumblr dot com, ask and I'll delete it right away !

[megbox]

2019 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

It’s actually kind of interesting how... less interesting these year-in-reviews get as I get older. Depending on how you look at it, 2019 was somewhat of an unremarkable year. I spent much of it tragically broke, I didn’t get the opportunity to do much traveling. But at the same time, not having these flashy, colourful experiences to write about all the time makes me value the easy, simple things more. It forces me to be a bit more reflective about how the day-to-day life I am carving out for myself teaches me things and about the person I am becoming. 

Far and away, the most positive thing to come out of 2019 has been that I am real deals social worker now. I have the best job in the entire world. I have “RSW” in my email signature and on my business cards. I do work that is meaningful to me every single day. There is so much to learn but I’m in the right place to be learning it. And I am really proud of myself for getting here ❤️

January 

Unlike the last few years, 2019 began on a high note. The millisecond that student loan hit my direct deposit, I took a little trip to Jasper to visit my friend Oliver who was teaching snowboarding at Marmot Basin for the season. I braved some very treacherous roads to make it to Jasper. It took me nearly eight hours. Highway 93 was closed so I had to take the long route and basically white-knuckled it the whole way. But it was so worth it. I found myself later that evening in a dorm room full of young Scandinavian people, downing American Vintage iced teas and feeling like I was at a frat party. We went to this club called Four Peaks and they played Rasputin by Boney M and everyone went crazy. I hooked up with this gorgeous Danish ski instructor named Rasmus. He was so beautiful. I am proud of that one, honestly. Oliver and I went skiing and hiking and we went to Earl’s and he tried a Caeser. By the end of the weekend, I think we maybe ran out of things to talk about. But it was really cool to see him and to hear about the last few years of his life and how excited he was to move to New Zealand to be with his girlfriend (whom he met on the same trip where he and I met, in Hawaii!)

On January 14, I started my second practicum. It was a sad transition. My time at CommunityWise had been so great that anything new was going to pale in comparison but my new placement was especially bad. It was so slow there. My computer hadn’t been updated in years and I didn’t have access to anything for weeks. My supervisor was barely around (not her fault, though. She was finishing her MSW, had two young children, was the team lead for both family centres in the city and had two practicum students to supervise. Girl was busy). I remember one morning while I was helping one of the caseworkers with some menial task like organizing the food pantry, and I was just so frustrated, I kind of asked her point-blank, “Is this practicum meant to be more self-directed?” and I just started crying as I asked it. I kind of… whimpered it. It was awkward but from that point on, they made way more of an effort to give me tasks and engage me in the work that was being done there. Lesson learned: you get what you ask for.

February  The first weekend of February is what we would call a “power weekend.” Looking back on these actions now, I cringe. However, at the time, I was pretty stoked. I slept with a friend from podcast club after a house party. For ease, I will refer to him as W. W had asked me out twice prior to this happening. I actually said yes, and we had plans to get drinks, but his best friend ended up going through a breakup the night before and he cancelled last minute. So then we slept together. Drunkenly. And it wasn’t… good. I chalked it up to the drunkenness. We went out on a real date, I made sure to have like one glass of wine maximum. He was lovely and great company and he taught me how to play crib but… you know that feeling when you’re like god, I wish I was enjoying this but I am just not enjoying this. It was like that all night. And it felt heavy. If I am being completely honest, there was also this strange moment that night where I had the thought, “he kind of looks like my grandfather if he were younger” and there is truly no recovering from that kind of realization.

February was also a terrible month because I had no days off. I will go to my grave angry about being required to work for free in my practicums. I was doing 32+ unpaid hours at this boring practicum and then working evenings and weekends at Famoso whenever I could. And Famoso was dead, so I wasn’t even making good money. This was also where I began to start witnessing things in my practicum that started to fuck with me. At first, I thought I was just having trouble sleeping. But over time in seminar and debriefs with my social work friends who were going through the same thing I realized that it was the oh-so-pleasant combination of vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. 

Over the reading week, I went to Fernie with Maddy and her friends for a ski/party weekend and that was truly awesome. One of those weekends where your ribs ache for days once you’re back because you laughed so hard. Some highlights: 

It snowed 60cm the night before we skied. It was powder up to your waist. 

• Maddy’s friend Melissa liked our bartender at the hostel. She took his phone and texted herself from it so he would have her number and vice versa. Then she got so drunk that later the same evening, she was looking at the text and forgot that she had sent it to herself so she texted back, “Who is this?” Also LOL #Bryna. 

• I took nudes of Maddy in the hostel shower to send to the guy she was seeing at the time. LOL. What are friends for? 

• Maddy and I met this set of twins who are the definition of gym bros. Identical twins. We ended up hooking up with them. At the same time. In our bunk bed at the hostel. We high fived. I later fell off the top bunk. We gave them a beer for the road when they left. All year long, we send one another their Instagram posts and stories whenever it’s them flexing in the gym mirror and just laugh about, “we really slept with those guys.” 

March 

In March, I got the flu. It was very annoying. I had to miss practicum (meaning I’d have to make up the hours somehow later). I stated binge watching Grey’s Anatomy. 

I ended things with W. It was kind of harsh but it needed to be done. I need to stop breaking up with people in the weeks prior to my birthday because we had a total Dave-Simard-2.0 situation where W told me he had purchased a birthday present for me and he still wanted to give it to me.

I also ran the St. Patrick’s Day Road Race again!!! Good times as always. 

Practicum got much better in March. I had many things to do. I got to design the curriculum for and facilitate a six-week girl’s group. I assisted with the planning and running of a series of community tax clinics which was cool. Except the guy from the agency whose project it was is a creep. He kept telling me all of these stories that were incredibly inappropriate given the fact that we knew each other only in a professional sense. He made many comments about women’s bodies and appearances that were gross. And I got left in some pretty unsafe situations all by myself. AND he made me pay out of pocket for snacks for one of the tax clinics and never reimbursed me for that. I kind of forgot about that until just now. Wow. 

April 

April was a big month! 

I went to Portland for my birthday weekend with Matt and Connor. When I think back to this trip, it was lovely, but mostly what I remember is a lot of beer, a lot of rain, and being hungover. Portland is a really cool city. I wasn’t totally expecting to be confronted with as much homelessness and substance use as I was but, that’s my privilege talking. Some highlights from the trip include: 

• The “Flower in the Kettle” IPA I had. 

• The mascarpone, corn and lobster agnolotti I had for my birthday dinner at A Cena. Recommended to me by a trusted friend I worked with at Famoso. So rich. SO FUCKING GOOD. 

• Meeting this really drunk real estate agent at a dive bar and convincing her that Matt and Connor were both my boyfriends. I still have her business card in my wallet. I am unsure why. 

• The Weezer concert was honestly awesome. 

• Matt actually trying out the guyliner. 

• Meeting some random guy when I went to get gum at a corner store. His name was Dan. He was old. His girlfriend had kicked him out and he was just walking around. He’d been in prison for a lot of his life. We had a good chat. I got his phone number and now we have each other on Facebook. 

• In the airport on the way home, Matt and I were so overtired that absolutely everything was hilarious. The gif game (the gif of Kevin from The Office dropping the bucket of chili. “Me in Thailand”), and the beginning of when I got let in to the “KEVIN!!!!” joke. I had tears in my eyes. 

• Connor yelled at me in a pizza restauraunt LOL (sorry Connor. I know you Ctrl+F your name. But this was memorable to me.) 

In the middle of April, I FINISHED MY PRACTICUM HOURS AND EFFECTIVELY GOT MY DEGREE. I cannot describe to you how good it felt to be driving home from one of those tax clinics after my third twelve-hour day (making up practicum hours is fun) knowing I never had to go back. Knowing that soon enough, I’d get to work on all the same cool projects but actually get paid for my time.

We visited Saskatoon for Easter, which would turn out to be the last time I got to see my Baba. She was very ill, and both of us knew that it would likely be the last time, so I did get to say my goodbyes. It was very difficult and I sobbed for a lot of the ride home. It’s a weird feeling, when someone you love has been so ill for so long, and you begin to see their condition really deteriorate. When the idea of life without that person starts to become a reality. There was almost an… acceptance? It sounds so callous to say and it’s way more complex than this but also somewhat of a relief in the finality of it. I don’t know. It was a lot. 

April was also when I started interviewing for social work jobs. I had two interviews. The first one was at CCASA, essentially for what I thought was my dream job. I have never psyched myself out so hard for anything in my life. I thought about that interview and that interview alone for weeks. I studied harder than I have for any test ever. When the time came for the interview, I was so nervous. I became this meek and mild version of myself. It was honestly devastating. But of course, had I gotten that job, I would never have interviewed at the University of Calgary. My boss-to-be called me for a pre-interview while I was on shift at Famoso. It was busy, too. But I just said fuck it and ducked into the back and talked to her on the phone for twenty minutes. She invited me for an interview a week later where I had to give a five-minute presentation on managing stress as a student. Rock on. 

May 

On May 1, I got offered THE JOB AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY! It was truly one of the happiest moments of my life. There is nothing more satisfying and exciting than actually attaining something you’ve been dreaming of for so long. It was for a one year contract on a maternity leave coverage, facilitating community trainings around suicide prevention, helping skills, all that good stuff. I was going to be on salary. I was going to have benefits. I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO WALK TO WORK AND HAVE A REAL CAREER THAT I WOULD BE PROUD OF AND EXCITED ABOUT.

I hung up the phone after accepting the job, texted all the requisite people about the good news, and then immediately drove to Famoso to quit. My boss at Famoso was angry with me because I did not give two weeks notice. I said I would work out the rest of my scheduled shifts. He was a jerk, he yelled at me in frustration saying, “You work here for five fucking years, we accommodate every trip, every vacation, every practicum and you don’t even have the courtesy to give me two weeks notice?!” It wasn’t a big deal though. He was just being an asshole. And hey, Steve, you’re still an asshole!

So my last day serving tables at Famoso Westhills was May 3, 2019. I’m usually not good with goodbyes but it was the easiest thing in the world to just walk out of there at the end of the night knowing I would never be back. I had ten days until I started my actual job at the University (a bit of an oversight on my part because I had ~no money~ so what the fuck was I going to do with ten days).

My grandmother passed away on May 19, 2019. Back to Saskatoon on May 28 for the funeral. It was really fucking sad and really fucking weird to see all of my cousins crying. My grandma also had a big Catholic funeral and none of us are particularly religious and as the direct relatives of the deceased we were at the front of the church and it was really obvious none of us had any idea when to kneel vs. stand and didn’t know any of the words or tunes to the songs.

On a happier note, my brother was accepted into medical school in May. Not that I ever doubted my brother would be a successful person, but this just really solidified it. Dr. MacKay.

June 

June was rather uneventful. I was honestly so cripplingly broke at this point, and it was so long before I actually saw a full salaried paycheck. I had to borrow money from my parents just to like, function. And pay my bills. It was embarrassing. But I was working full time and learning so many cool things about the job that it made it alright.

I walked the stage on the first week of June and accepted my BSW degree. I didn’t want to go but it was actually a pretty awesome and happy occasion.

The other big thing that happened in June is that Maddy moved to Australia. It sucks that I only met Maddy in the summer of 2018. She is so awesome and we became so close so quickly. I genuinely love her so much and spending time with her is so easy and fun, it was really sad when she left knowing that it was highly possible she may never return or at least not for several YEARS.

July 

By July, my new job was in full swing. I was facilitating trainings every other day (so much public speaking experience!), I was sitting on a committee, every day was new and challenging and exciting. 

My dad had a giant party for his 60th birthday, with some friends even coming from Saskatoon. They rented a limousine that took us to the Black Diamond hotel because apparently my parents have some kind of significance there. I did a shot with my grandfather? We played pool and Big Buck hunter? None of my friends came but all of my brother’s friends came and I honestly think that it turned the tables in terms of who my parents’ favourites are in terms of friends. 

I also had an awesome weekend at Folk Festival mostly with Kendal and Lachlan but also featuring guest appearances from Chad and Gillian. Podcast club pals. There is just nothing better than folk festival, honestly. Food trucks and music in the sun and drinking sangria from a flask and admiring everyone’s cool outfits and getting a tan and listening to concerts all day. I had a nap in the middle of the afternoon on Sunday and it was like the most glorious 45 minutes of my entire year. 

August 

Oh, no. August. I was still cripplingly broke (it takes a long time to catch up to a point where your entire paycheck is not just going to paying back things you’ve borrowed) and I made the utterly stupid decision to go to a music festival. 

Big Valley Jamboree, baby. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the best weekend that I am never ever doing again. Some highlights: 

• Mere minutes after arriving, I watched a man vomit. 

• The “Tony Keith” joke really took off. Lucas and I were so #inone on the Friday night we kept yelling and trying to start chants (“old man graphics!” is my personal favourite in response to Toby Keith’s random, pro-military Americana concert graphics).

• I gave my phone to somebody and then wandered off in search of this stupid boy’s campsite. I got very, very lost. The BVJ campground is a large place. I had no idea where I was going and was literally just stumbling through the dark and the mud. I ended up in the middle of some middle-aged Newfoundlanders’ campsite. They welcomed me. They offered me and sandwich and several beers. We chatted for like an hour. It was the best. I walked for SO LONG and finally found my own campsite. But we’re talking literally hours of walking around blind and disoriented. There were a few moments when I genuinely thought I was going to have to wait until the sun came up. 

• A few less-than-classy moments in porta potties. 

• The HANGOVERS. Jesus lord. I couldn’t survive. 

• Airwaves guy was great and I also had a really good buffalo chicken poutine thing that I remember fondly. 

In happier and much more professional news, I facilitated my first Community Helpers training in August. I was very nervous. Like, stay up all night the night before nervous. And we had some technical difficulties with setting up. But my coworker / work BFF Jeannie was there and she was a great support to me. She ran and got me a coffee and a banana bread because I hadn’t eaten and was so so stressed. And she encouraged me through the whole thing. It went really really well. I almost choked up at the end while thanking the participants for coming and explaining how it was my first training and they were such a great group to do it with. 

The squad was all super broke so we turned to free activities. It was very wholesome. We spent many afternoons and evenings reading in Prince’s Island Park with snacks. We went to Shakespeare in the park. We went hiking. 

A lot of my friends moved away in August. Such is life when your friends are all academics or have bright futures that are not confined to the Calgary city limits. Sydney moved to Victoria to start her PhD and we had a nice day at Elbow Falls eating berries and then having dinner with my family. Adam and Kendal both moved to Ottawa to start a fancy new government job and an MSW degree, respectively. I am really really proud of all of my friends but I miss them, too. Calgary is not the same without these people. 

On the flip side – a new roommate moved in! Maddie left to move to Red Deer to be with Joel and so our new roommate was a French exchange student named Aurore. She arrived and was shocked to see that none of the advertised furniture was in her room except for one limp mattress. Karla and I hadn’t even known she was coming because my landlord sucks, but we helped her get her things together and then ordered her some Skip the Dishes. She was exhausted. And sweet. And was starting a block week MBA class the next day in her second language. I felt for her. 

September 

In September, the inklings of me moving into a different role at the university were planted. My boss called me in to her office one afternoon and shut the door. I was terrified but she said to me, “you’re not in trouble. Actually, just the opposite.” She brought up the recent vacancies in the job I now hold (lol: spoilers) and said, “Just think about it. I just want you to know that there would be no hard feelings if you chose to apply for the role.” I was flattered but also caught off guard. I did not think I was qualified for the job. I had virtually no client experience in either of my practicums. I wasn’t even registered with the ACSW at this point. And I loved my old job and my health promotion coworkers so so much. But also… I was on a twelve month contract. And the person away on leave was definitely coming back. I was “strongly encouraged” to get registered with the college. 

It was honestly such a mess. They gently nudged me towards applying for the role, I was torn. Then they told me it probably wouldn’t work because I wasn’t yet registered with the ACSW, and even if I did register would still only be provisional. I felt an odd sense of relief at that, and had totally psyched myself out of being able to do the job at that point. At the last minute, I was told “just submit an application to keep our options open.” I did so. I got an interview. I interviewed (and it was SO fucking stressful…. Interviewing with people you already work with is 10x worse than interviewing with strangers. I tell ya.). And… I got the job!!! Not only did I get the job, I got a full-time, permanent contract (there were two positions, one full-time and one on a longer contract. I was told from the beginning I would just be applying for the longer contract but I ended up getting the FULL TIME ONE.) It was a HUGE boost to my confidence and again, one of the happiest days of the year.  

September was also just absolutely insane for work. So many orientation presentations, students reaching out wanting to get involved, starting all of the volunteer programs, planning. I was so, so, so SO FREAKING TIRED. But we did lots of fun things. Like we took Aurore and her friend Cecile to Banff, had them try Caesers and Beaver Tails and all kinds of Canadian things. 

October 

On my last day in my old role, my coworkers decorated my desk with a homemade banner and got me desserts. We went to McDonald’s for a feast and sat in the Hub and made jokes. It felt really special and I was really touched. 

On October 7, I started my new-but-also-kind-of-the-same job. I was very nervous and there was a lot to learn right from the get go. And it was so… strange. I HAD MY OWN OFFICE. WITH MY NAME ON THE DOOR AND EVERYTHING. The imposter syndrome hit me like a tsunami. I was extremely stressed, extremely overwhelmed. But my teammates and my boss are great. They understand I’m new not just to the role but to the field. They were (and are) so kind and patient with me and answer all of my questions. 

For Thanksgiving, we went to Banff. We had beers and did a little bowling at High Rollers and then went to the Rimrock for dinner. It was very nice. A few weeks later, I hosted my own friendsgiving dinner and roasted a turkey! And spent all day decorating my parents’ house and the table to look fancy. Everything turned out really really well. I was super stoked. Note to self: throw more dinner parties. 

November: 

What I recall from November is just… stress. The case management / social worker life came at me real hard, real fast. I had to call CFS for the first time. My client did not want me to. It was hard. I did not cope well. My coping strategy was to fuck off to Lake Louise (?) for a weekend in a hostel and drink two bottles of wine with some random sorority girls from Chicago. And tears.

The cooking phase was in full swing at this point. Eggs benedict, soft pretzels, curry, French onion soup, gnocchi, prosciutto apple blue cheese chicken, apple and chai galettes.

The third week of November was also when I decided to start training for the half marathon. I found a plan online and set out to follow it and honestly, it’s been great. I usually don’t stick to exercise routines for longer than a month because I tend to go too hard, too fast and I overdo it and I let one hungover day derail me. But this plan wasn’t focused on distance but rather time spent running. So rather than, “I have to run 5km” today it’s, “I have to run for 45 minutes today.” I thought I’d hate that but I actually really like it. It encourages me to go a little slower and just run out the clock, at whatever pace. And the speed is building gradually, and naturally.

December: 

Aaaand December!

December has been so much marathon training. Today, I am entering my seventh week of consistent running and exercise. That is a badass accomplishment for me. I am very pleased. I even managed to do my runs in Saskatoon on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Aurore left back to Paris. She had a birthday party at the house with all of her international friends and we went for sushi and looked at Christmas lights in the rich people neighborhoods before she returned home. She ended up being so wonderful. I will miss her.

I went to Radium for a weekend with Kennedy, Matt, Amanda, and their friend Katie. The takeaways from this experience are: I am excited to get to spend more time with Kennedy and Amanda and to become better friends with them, I think I like smoking weed now, and skiing is the best.

2020: 

To be completely honest, my life is pretty good. I sometimes wish I had somebody to share it with, and that’s something I hope to be a little better about in 2020 is putting myself out there in more of a meaningful way. 

I also am super excited to continue down this path with my career and to develop personally and professionally as a social worker. There is truly so much to learn and I’m really motivated and excited right now to do well at this which is an awesome feeling. I do need to work on not taking my work home with me so much, about separating the social work life from the personal life. Setting boundaries and all that good stuff. 

I’m hopefully going to run my first half marathon in 2020. May 31. The countdown is on. Excited to cross that item off the bucket list and experience the rush of crossing the finish line! That endorphin high is going to be insane. 

And I want to keep developing my cooking skills. Though they may be small, they are mighty. I want to try and learn how to make fresh pasta dough. LOL. Simple goals. 

Anyways... thank you 2019 for all you have brought me and taught me. I am grateful for the life I get to the live and the experiences I get to have. And I’m super stoked to see where 2020 takes me. 

<3 

[patagucci34]

Dreams do come true

This is my first ever story, so please be patient and gentle. I’ve been reading NHL imagines for a little while now and wanted to give it a try. 

Y/B/N and Y/O/B/N are your two brothers. Y/BF/N is your best friend. 

Summary: You are working at the restaurant you work at in the summer and Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner come in for dinner. 

Warning: Swearing 

PS. I’m planning on having multiple parts to this. But I guess we’ll see where my writing takes me! 

Auston’s POV

           Mitch and I were vacationing in Vermont during the summer. We had just been driving around looking for stuff to do. We came across a small town and decided to stop and walk around. It was close to dinner time and we were both hungry so we decided to look for something to eat. We had just walked up from seeing some falls they had in town, and the first restaurant we came across piqued my interest because of a beautiful waitress working. I immediately grabbed Mitch and walked to the door. We walked in and were welcomed by this bright southern accent.

“Hi, what can I do for ya’ll?”

“We would just like a table for two if you have room?” I said

“Of course, would you like to sit inside or outside?” I looked over to Mitch and he shrugged.

“Outside would be nice.”

“Alright, you can follow me.”

“Um, is it possible to request a waitress?”

“Well that depends, are you asking for the cute little one over there?” The southern lady asked with a smirk as she pointed towards the girl you saw outside the restaurant.

I blushed before nodding, “if that’s possible yes”

“Well, I suppose I can make that happen for you,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

She brought us to our table and told us that our waitress would be with us in a minute.

(Y/N’s) POV

Holy fuck, Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner just walked in. What the fuck, am I dreaming?? I have to tell (Y/B/N), he’s gonna flip. You really need to calm down, make yourself look busy.

I started to fold some napkins while Lady brought them outside to their table. The next thing I knew Lady came back in a with a huge smirk on her face and came right up to me.

“They requested you as their server, miss missy.”

“Shut up, I can’t serve them!! Do you know who they are?”

“No, who are they?”

“They play in the NHL!!!”

“Omg, and they want you?”

“Oh, shut up. There’s no way I can serve them.”

“Oh, you are. I promised him.”

“Who’s him? Which one?”

“The taller one.”

“Omg, he’s the one I am so in love with!!”

“Well here is your chance. Now go get their drink order.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this right now.”

I walked out while mentally preparing myself and practicing exactly what I was going to say to them. As I walked out I made eye contact with Auston and I immediately blushed. He gave me a small smile and I reciprocated before approaching their table.

“Hi, my name is Y/N, how are you guys doing today?”

“Pretty good, how are you?” Mitch answered for both of them.

“I’m doing well, thank you for asking. Um, can I get you guys something to drink besides water?”

“What do you have for beer?” Auston inquired.

“We have Switchback, which is an unfiltered ale, Conehead IPA, and a Hefeweizen.”

“Which do you recommend?” He asked.

“Ummm, I really like the Hefeweizen, but the IPA is also pretty good. And switchback is a good go-to beer. Sorry, that probably wasn’t that helpful, I can bring you tastes if you’d like.” I said blushing, realizing I wasn’t being helpful.

“Haha, that’s okay. That would be great, Mitchy do you want to try them?” Auston asked his friend.

“Yeah sure, can we try all three?” Mitch asked.

“Yeah of course! I’ll be right back.” I said while walking away mentally kicking myself for being so awkward.

I quickly returned and presented the beer and waited while they tried the beer. They both made a few comments before finally choosing one.

“I’ll have the Hefeweizen,” Auston stated with a smirk.

“And I’ll have the Switchback, please,” Mitch said also with a smile.

“Perfect, I will be right back,” I said while smiling and taking the glasses.

I brought their beer to the table and talked for a minute about what they wanted to order. They finally decided on what they wanted and I went in to put the order in. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, everyone started ragging on me.

“How’s your boyfriend doing?” Chloe one of the chefs asked me.

“Fuck off, here’s the order,” I said with a smirk and walked back out before they could make fun of me more.

Once their food was in the window I ran it out to them and asked if they needed anything else. They both politely declined and said thank you for the food. I went back inside to start doing some clean up since it was winding down. After a few minutes, they were the only people left eating. I decided I should go check on them to see if they were still good.

Auston’s POV

I saw Y/N approaching our table and I tried to muster up the confidence to ask her to stay and talk with us for a little bit.

“How is everything out here?” She asked with the most beautiful smile.

“Very good,” Mitch stated while stuffing his face.

I chuckled slightly before responding, “pretty good, it would be a little better if you could sit with us for a little?” I asked feeling very hopeful.

Y/N looked a little shocked, but looked inside and then back to me, “I could probably spare a few minutes.” She said with that same beautiful smile. She pulled up a chair and made some small talk asking how our food was and asked what we were doing in Vermont. We explained to her that we were just taking a mini vacation.

“What made you choose Vermont?” She inquired

“We both had never been here and we heard it was nice here so we decided to give it a try.”

“Oh nice, how long have you been here?”

“We just got here today and we’re staying until Sunday.”

“Do you have anything planned for your trip?”

“Erm, not really, we were just going to kind of wing it. Do you have any suggestions?” Mitch finally stepped in.

“Umm, well there is really nice hiking, hanging out on the lake is fun, going to the Ben and Jerry’s factory is a must…”

“Would you be able to show us around a little?” I asked hoping I could hang out with her a little more.

“I think I could arrange that.” She smirked.

“Perfect, do you live around here?”

“I actually live in Burlington.”

“Oh, perfect, that’s where we are staying!” Mitch exclaimed.

Y/N laughed a little, and it was the cutest laugh I have ever heard.

“Where are you guys staying?” She asked

“Hotel Vermont.”

“Ohh nice. That’s a good one.”

“Good to know,” I said staring into her eyes. “Um, when do you usually get out?”

“It depends on how late people stay, you guys are the last ones so it shouldn’t be too long after you guys have finished.”

“You should come by the hotel when you get back to Burlington and we can figure out tomorrow.”

Y/N smiled, “yeah that sounds good.” “Can I have your number? And I’ll text you the room number.” I asked. 

“Oh yeah, sure,” She said while I handed her my phone and she put her number in.

She grabbed our plates and brought our check. We paid and said our goodbyes until later. As soon as we left Mitch started laughing.

“Dude, you are so in love.”

“Shut up, Mitchy. I just think she seems really nice and genuine.”

“Exactly. You don’t think of girls that way.”

“Shut up,” I said while shoving him away from me.

Y/N’s POV

I walked into the kitchen and immediately gloated to everyone.

“OMG, he asked for my number and I am going to their hotel tonight, so let’s get the show on the road so I can leave.”

“You are such a slore!!!” Lady yelled at me.

I just laughed and texted Y/B/N to tell him all about Auston Matthews.

I asked Y/B/N and Y/O/B/N if they thought our grandfather would let us take his boat for part of the day, and Y/B/N said he was taking it out and that we could go with them.

I started the drive to Burlington and got a text from Auston.

Hey Y/N, it’s Auston :) We are in room 324 when you get here.

I waited a few minutes so I wouldn’t seem desperate and then responded.

Okay, I’ll probably be there in like 45 minutes if that’s okay?

A few minutes later I heard another ding.

That’s perfect! See you soon :)

Auston’s POV

Mitch and I were sitting in the room drinking beer and watching the TV when we heard a knock on the door. I got up and opened the door to find Y/N outside with a 6 pack of beer. She had changed from her work clothes and had put on a pretty sundress. I smiled as I stepped aside motioning for her to come in.

“I brought you guys some more Vermont beer to try.”

“I think you and I are gonna get along just fine,” Mitch said with a smirk.

Y/N and I both laughed at Mitch and I told Y/N to take a seat.

We all talked for a while just getting to know each other. We finally decided to talk about our plans for tomorrow. Y/N mentioned we could go on her grandfather’s boat with her brothers. Mitch and I jumped at that idea.

“Perfect! There is a really good bakery we can get sandwiches from and we can get some beer and spend the day on the lake!” Y/N suggested.

“That sounds wonderful,” I said

“Well now that we have that figured out I should probably get going, it’s pretty late.” Y/N said smiling.

“I’ll walk you down,” I said standing up with her.

“See ya tomorrow, Y/N” Mitch called out to her as she waved goodbye to him.

We were making our way to the elevator and I looked over to her.

“I’m really glad we met you today,” I said quietly.

“I’m really glad I met you too,” She said blushing.

“I’m looking forward to getting to know you a little better.”

“Me too,” she said softly.

As we made our way to the lobby I walked with her outside, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and waved goodbye as she walked down the street.

I made my way back upstairs to get ready for tomorrow.

Y/N’s POV

Omg I can’t believe he kissed my cheek!!! I can’t believe I’m spending the day with him tomorrow!!!! This is crazy. I thought to myself as I walked back to my apartment.

As soon as I walked in Y/BF/N was at the table drinking a beer.

“Y/BF/N. You will never guess what happened to me.” “What happened? Why are you so late?”

“I met Auston Matthews. Like the Auston Matthews who plays in the NHL that I love soooo much.” “WHAT? Where????”

“He came into the Sheep with his friend and then invited me over for a drink and now we’re hanging out tomorrow.”

“Holy shit, Y/N!!! This is it!!!”

“I know!! And he kissed me on the cheek when I left just now!!!”

“OMG!!!”

“I literally can’t wait for tomorrow.” “What are you doing?”

“We are going out on the boat, but Y/B/N and Y/O/B/N will be there too. Which is fine, cause his friend Mitch is gonna be with us anyway.”

“Yeah, just make sure you get some alone too ;)”

“Oh, I hope so…”

Auston’s POV

I woke up and decided to text Y/N to see what time she wanted to meet up.

Good morning :)

Good morning, Auston :)

How’d you sleep?

Pretty good, how about you?

Good, I’m kind of used to hotel beds.

Well, that’s good! What time do you think you guys will be ready?

We’re both up now, we were gonna ask what time you wanted to go?

I was thinking noon?

Yeah, that’s perfect, where should we meet you?

There’s this bakery on your way to Vergennes, I thought we could get sandwiches there before we go? I’ll meet you there

Sounds good, just send me the address :)

Y/N’s POV

I still can’t believe I’m hanging out with Auston Matthews. This is unreal. After we got sandwiches, I had them follow me to my grandfather’s marina where we were meeting my brothers.  

We pulled up and my brothers were standing out on the dock. Auston and Mitch came over to my car and we grabbed all the bags and coolers and walked down to the boat.

“What’s up, wanks? This is Auston and Mitch, and these are my brothers, Y/B/N and Y/O/B/N.”

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Auston said shaking their hands

“Pretty good, it’s nice to meet you,” Y/B/N responded shaking both of their hands.

“Well let’s get going!!” I said pushing everyone along.

NHLNHLNHL

After a long day on the water, we all went to dinner at Starry Night. It was really nice getting to know them a little better and I’m glad my brothers could come along because Auston was Y/O/B/N’s favorite NHL player.

After dinner, we went back to Burlington and this time they came over to my place.

“So, it’s no penthouse suite…which I’m sure you’re used to.” I said as I keyed into the apartment.

“I’m sure it’s lovely!” Mitch said with a smirk.

“Also, sorry, it’s a little messy too.”

“It’s perfect,” Auston said with a grin.

“What do you guys want to drink?” I asked heading into the kitchen.

“I’m good with beer,” Mitch said.

“Me too,” Auston chimed in.

I grabbed two beers from the fridge and poured myself a glass of wine. Auston came up behind me and grabbed the beers and followed me into the living room where we all sat down.

“Thank you so much for hanging out with us, Y/N. It has been so much fun.” Mitch said with a smile.

“Of course! It’s been fun showing you what we do here in Vermont. Even if it’s not that much, haha.”

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Auston asked.

“I think I could pencil you in if that’s what you’re asking?” I said back a little cheekily.

“We would love that,” Auston said looking over to Mitch. Mitch nodded in agreement.

“Do you guys like ice cream?” I asked.

“is that even a question???” Mitch asked, almost seeming offended.

“Good. We can go to the Ben and Jerry’s factory. It’s not super exciting, the tour isn’t very long, but you get free samples.”

“Oh I’m so down,” Mitch said.

“Me too,” Auston agreed.

We watched some Netflix and talked for about another hour when Mitch said he was heading back to the hotel to get some sleep. He patted Auston’s back and gave him a wink, that made me blush a bit.

“See ya tomorrow, Y/N,” Mitch said with a wink.

I waved goodbye and turned back to Auston.  

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m glad to have some alone time with you,” Auston said.

I blushed and gave him a small smile. We were seated next to each other on the couch, and he put his hand on my knee.

I had so many butterflies, I could not believe this was real. We kind of just stared at each other for a moment, and he started laughing.

“I’m sorry, this is a little unusual for me,” he managed to get out in between laughs.

I couldn’t help but laugh too, “it’s okay, this is a little different for me too.”

All of a sudden, he plants his lips on mine. I was surprised at first but then allowed myself to melt into his lips. We made out for a few more minutes before we finally pulled away.

“God, you’re amazing.” He said looking into my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said while blushing and looking away.

“Let’s play 20 questions.” He suggested.

I groaned internally a bit but let him proceed. “Okay, …you have to ask the questions.”

“Okay……what’s your favorite color?” He asked.

“Yellow,” I answered quickly

“Yellow…really?” He questioned with a grin.

“Oh stop…you can’t judge during this game.” I said giving him a slight shove.

“Okay fine. Next question…what is your favorite food?”

“That one tough, I’m terrible at making decisions….my favorite, like, type of food is Chinese, but my favorite snacky type thing would be…. pickles or nachos.”

“Interesting….okay what did you want to be when you grow up?”

“Definitely a singer or actress.”

“Very original…”

“I said no judging!!!” giving him another soft push.

“I’m sorry, next question. What does your name mean?” He said while giggling.

“I don’t really know the meaning, but I was named after a friend of my dads who died in a car accident…sorry kind of depressing haha.”

“Yeah, things are deep now…” “Once I found out that’s who I was named after, I was afraid her ghost was going to be at the end of my bed while I was sleeping and try to kill me for having her name.”

“Wooow.” He said trying not to laugh.

“Okay, I was young!!!”

“Fair enough…if you could live anywhere, where would it be?”

“Greece for sure.” “Greece…really?! Where about?”

“Well, I’ve only been to Santorini. But it was soooo beautiful, I am going to get married there and have a house there.”

“Wow...high class lifestyle right there…” He said with a smirk.

“Very,” I said trying not to laugh.

“What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?” He said with a very cheeky grin.

“Oh my gosh, you’re really going for it aren’t you…honestly I can’t think of a defining embarrassing moment, but in one of my classes my sophomore year, I was surrounded by guys and a couple of them were on the hockey team, and we had to get together to discuss some topic, but I didn’t know any of them so I just kind of sat there, and our teacher called them out for not including me, and I was mortified. I was so worried they were going to think I was weird.”

“So…you’re into hockey players?”

“Really? That’s what you got out of my story??”

“Hahaha, I’m sorry, I’m just glad to hear that.”

I rolled my eyes with a smirk... “next question please.”

“Who is your best friend in the whole wide world?”

“Y/BF/N.”

“Okay, what is your biggest fear in life?”

“Getting deep on me…”

“That’s how it goes you know…”

“Fair enough…ummm, my biggest fear is probably losing someone close to me prematurely.” “Like them dying?” He inquired.

“Yeah, like if I were to lose my one of my brothers tomorrow, it’s my worst nightmare.”

“That’s a good one. I couldn’t imagine losing my sisters.” “Yeah, it’s pretty scary.”

“Alright then...moving on. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?”

“Hahaha, I don’t know…I used to steal clothes…or doing drugs?? I’m not sure which one is worse.”

“Wow…we’ve got a bad girl here…” I gave him a glare and he put his hands up surrendering…….. “no judgments.”

“Thank you,” I said with a huge grin.

“What keeps you up at night?”

“I think just, disappointing people. Everything that I do and every decision that I make I always think about how it will affect the people in my life or what they will think about it. I know I shouldn’t but it’s just something I have always done.”

“Yeah, I feel that. Whenever I have a bad game, I just feel like I’m disappointing my team, my family, the fans, just so many people.” “Yeah, I’m sure. I know this doesn’t even compare to the NHL, but I threw on the track team for my school, and whenever I had a bad day, I was always more upset about disappointing everyone else than I was myself.”

“You get me. It’s probably the worst part about playing in the NHL, and that’s what you tend to focus on the most too.”

“I know you probably hear this a lot, but just the fact that you made it to the NHL is crazy. Everyone makes mistakes and has off days. It doesn’t change who you are as a player.”

“You really are amazing. I know who I’m going to go to after I have a bad game.”

I blushed a bit and kissed him softly. This time it didn’t turn into a make-out session because Y/BF/N walked in the door.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry, I’m going to my room, continue on…” Y/BF/N said making a big deal out of it.

I laughed a bit as she walked down the hall apologizing to Auston for the interruption.

“It’s alright, I like talking to you.”

“I like talking to you too…” He cut me off with the same soft kiss I gave him just moments before.

“I do like kissing you too though”

I giggled a bit when Y/BF/N came back out.

“Sorry, I’m kinda hungry.”

“It’s all good, we were just talking anyway.”

“Mhmm…sure.”

I have Auston a look and we both laughed.

“Exactly.” Y/BF/N said.

“What are you making?” I asked.

“Nachos!!! Want some?”

“Of course!!” I replied.

We all hung out and talked for a little while longer when Auston decided he should get back to the hotel.

“What time do you wanna meet up tomorrow?” He asked.

“I’m flexible, whenever you guys want to get up and get going is fine with me.” “How about 11?” He questioned.

“That’s perfect.”

“See you then,” he said giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking out the door.

“Holy fuck, Y/N.” Y/BF/N said.

“I know.”

“Are you gonna fuck him????” “Omg, Y/BF/N I just met him.”

“So?? That hasn’t stopped you before…”

“Fuck off, this is different.”

“Whatever you say…”

“Whatever, goodnight bish”

“Night slut!”

Auston’s POV

I woke up excited to spend another day with Y/N. She is just so much fun and so genuine, I’ve never felt this way about a girl. I’m sad that we’re leaving tomorrow because I have no idea when I will see her next if I even see her at all. I’m busted out of my thoughts by Mitch talking to me.

“Yo loverboy, you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Shaking my head at his nickname.

“What are you gonna do when we leave tomorrow?” He asks.

“I don’t know man. I really like her. I know I just met her, but I really want her in my life.”

“Then make it happen.”

“Yeah but she lives here, and I’m in Arizona for the rest of the summer and then in Toronto for the season, and I don’t even know what she wants to do with her life.” “Well slow down there, you don’t have to get married right now. You could just stay friends for now and see how things go, see her when you can see her, and then figure out if you want something more.” “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right”

“Haha, that’s a good one Mitchy,” I said giving him a slap on the back.

“Whatever, let’s go get her.”

I texted Y/N when we were outside of her apartment and she came out the door just a few seconds later.

“Hey guys, how are you?” She asked as she got into the car.

“Good, how about you?” I asked.

“I’m okay, excited for some ice cream!”

“Big facts,” Mitch stated, Y/N and I both laughed as I drove away.

After the tour of the factory, we decided to get a late lunch back in Burlington. We went to a restaurant downtown and then walked around Church St. a bit and did some shopping. We were having such a great time, I was dreading having to say goodbye to her. It was about 3 o’clock when Y/N suggested going to the beach. Mitch and I agreed, we went to the store to get some drinks and snacks, we stopped at Y/N’s for her to change and then to the hotel so Mitch and I could change and then we headed to the beach.

It was nice chatting and relaxing with Mitch and Y/N. She’s really funny and Mitch feeds off of it so it’s a riot to listen to the two of them.

Eventually, Mitch fell asleep and I took that as my opportunity to talk to Y/N about what happens when I leave.

“So, we’re leaving tomorrow,” I stated hesitantly.

Y/N looked down a bit, “oh yeah,” she stated a little solemnly.

“I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you and getting to know you. I don’t want that to stop.”

“To be honest, I can’t even believe I’m lying on the beach with you right now. This weekend has been so amazing. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

“I’m just worried I won’t see you again.”

“Don’t worry about that. You will. And besides, there this really cool thing now, you can talk to someone on your phone while looking at them. I don’t know if you have heard of it? It’s called FaceTime.” Y/N said with that sweet like smirk.

I laughed and kissed her softly.

A few minutes later, Mitch awoke from his slumber. “Oh man, I don’t know about you guys but I’m starving.”

I looked at my phone to check the time and realized it was almost 8 o’clock and the sun was starting to set. I looked over to Y/N and she nodded and said she could eat too. So, we packed up our stuff and headed to grab dinner.

I tried to make dinner as long as possible because I knew my time with Y/N was coming to an end. I figured we could hang out tonight too but we did have to leave early tomorrow morning for our flight.

We had decided that we would go back to the hotel and Y/N would come over after she showered and changed to say goodbye. It felt like hours before we heard a knock at the door. I opened it revealing Y/N with a 6-pack of beer just like the first night she came here. She came in and sat down on the bed after handing Mitch a beer. I sat down next to her and we all chatted a bit about our plans for the rest of our summer.

It was now time for Y/N to go. She hugged Mitch and they said goodbye, and then I followed Y/N out to the hallway and to the lobby.

“Thank you so much for this weekend, Y/N/N. It was amazing. I already can’t wait to see you again.” I said looking down at her.

“It was my pleasure, Auston. I can’t wait to see you either.”

I kissed her softly and reluctantly let go after what seemed like hours. She gave me a hug and I waved as she walked out the door.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Call me some time,” she called over her shoulder with that oh so cute smirk on her face.

[wildefiction]

Oblivion

WORD COUNT: 1,026

SERIES SUMMARY: While filming on location in Germany, the cast of Supernatural find themselves thrown into a world where things like Vampires, Shapeshifters and Ghosts aren’t actors, but instead, the real deal. They’ll have to learn not only how to survive, but how to thrive in this new environment, until such a time as they can return home - if they can at all.

SERIES WARNINGS: Injuries, Death, Anxiety, Monsters, Blood, Weapon Use, Etc. Each chapter will be tagged appropriately with relevant warnings.

ONE

“It was a dark and stormy night, the wi-” 

“Really dude? A dark and stormy night? That’s how you’re going to start this story?” 

Jensen’s eyes flicked to those of his best friend, equal measures of mirth and ridicule mixed into the spring green hues. Groaning dramatically, he lifted an amber bottle to his lips and took a long swallow. 

“Will you just drink your beer and shut the fuck up?!” 

Misha went back to explaining how he’d landed his first acting gig while the man next to him choked on the bitter IPA. Smiling into his own drink, Jared turned his hazel eyes to Misha as well, his brow furrowed in interest. 

The three men sat in Jared’s trailer; exhausted. Eighteen hours of shooting the season finale found them with only a handful of finished scenes, but plenty of sore muscles and nerves. Knowing there’d be at least two additional days of content ahead of them, and with Jensen having a call time of five a.m., the three men had decided to unwind for a few minutes and stay on set for the night rather than making the drive to their Vancouver apartments. 

As grateful as they were for the way their lives had turned out, right now they were wondering if it was all worth the price they paid everyday. It had been Misha’s idea to take a jog down memory lane. While true that everyone knew each others story, the activity (along with the beer) distracted them enough that they were able to relax, albeit briefly. 

“As I was saying, before Ackles interrupted me,” Misha glanced pointedly at the man in question before continuing “It actually was a dark and stormy night. Vicki and I were at some party in LA, some...celebration of life or something like that when I got the callback for Cas.” 

“That was nearly ten years ago, well before any of our kids were even a thought. Hell, well before either of you were married. Fuck, I’m old.” 

Rubbing the dark circles beneath his eyes as if to illustrate his point, Misha yawned. Running on barely any sleep was starting to catch up to him; he’d be glad for the break. 

“I hear ya, man. When Jensen and I first read for Sam and Dean, neither of us had any idea that this show would consume our lives for fourteen yea-” 

“Fifteen.” 

“Fifteen years.” 

Pointing the neck of his bottle towards Jared, Jensen reiterated that they weren’t done. 

“If the Supernatural Family has anything to do with it, we’ll all be hunting well into our golden years.” 

The silence that followed his statement was palpable, the gravity of it sinking in. 

“But you know what? Without those people, our friends, our -family- we wouldn’t be here. Supernatural wouldn’t be a thing, and we’ve helped so many people. For me, that’s enough. That’s what keeps me coming back season after season, year after year.” 

Jensen leaned forward, clinking his bottle with the one gripped (a bit too tightly) in Jared’s fist. 

“I’ll drink to that buddy.” 

An hour later, the three men bid each other goodnight. None of them would be getting more than a couple hours sleep, but neither would any of them complain about it. They always gave their all, and they always would. Because they loved their characters as much as their fans did, and they were determined to give them the world -the recognition and love- that they deserved.

Jensen’s alarm rang sooner than he thought possible, had he even slept at all? The effort it took to extend his arm far enough across the bed to silence the damned thing almost wasn’t worth it. 

Maybe he could just ignore it? Thirty seconds of the shrill beeping cut through the overstuffed pillow he’d buried his head under. There was no sleeping in. 

It took several tries to rouse himself from the nest of blankets twisted around his body. Kicking at the obtrusive fabric, he swung his legs over the side of the queen sized bed, grunting with the effort of lifting his large body into an upright position. 

A knock sounded at his trailer door, sharp and insistent. 

“Unghgh!” 

Eyes mere slits, he took a step forward and promptly hit the ground. The sheets and blankets were pulled from the mattress as he fell. 

“Fuuuu--”

“Jensen?!” 

Rubbing his eyes, the man turned to his back and blinked up at the woman bent over him. 

“C’mon sleepy head, they need you on set in less than an hour.” 

She didn’t even ask why he was on the ground, having worked with the man for nearly twelve years, there was nothing she hadn’t seen of him and very little surprised her anymore.

The door snapping shut behind her acted as a note of finality and Jensen heaved himself to his feet, stopping only to throw his cleanest, dirty shirt over his head before shuffling out after her.

“Well, look what the cat drug in..” 

Jensen scowled at Misha and Jared as he ascended the stairs to the makeup and wardrobe trailer, still more than half asleep. 

“Fuck you. Why are you even here this early?” 

The irritability in his tone wasn’t genuine, and the others just snickered under their breath. Jensen’s weight sunk against his makeup artist when he lowered his forehead to her shoulder, arms swinging freely at his sides as he closed his eyes. 

“Why am I here?!” 

The lamentation from the full grown man caused Mandy to roll her eyes. 

“C’mon, Jay - sit your ass down so I can get to work.” 

The admonishment was softened by a wry smile as she guided him to the chair furthest from the door, handing him a cup of coffee and his final script of the season. 

Looking over the creased, coffee-stained sheaf of papers clutched in his hand, Jensen read the location of their final scene to the men standing before him, 

“Rah…rakotz, ah hell, somewhere called the Devil’s Bridge?” 

Narrowing his eyes at the familiar name, Misha stepped forward, peering down at the typed script highlighted with a neon-yellow circle.

“Isn’t that in Germany?”

CHAPTER TWO

TAGS: @jamielea81 @wings-of-a-raven

[vikingqueer]

22 Questions

@taliskermortem tagged me in this and I love talking about myself so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RULES: simply answer the following 22 q’s and then tag 22 (or however many) people you’d love to get to know more!

Name/Nickname: Amalie. I don’t really have one consistent nickname, but if you genuinely can’t say my name (something along the lines of /a'mæːljə/, but I’m not super proficient in IPA), Am is fine (and coincidentally also the name I give baristas in other countries).

Zodiac sign: Aries sun, Sagittarius moon, Taurus Rising (I don’t actually know what any of this means, but people on here seem to love listing all three)

Height: 167cm, which is somewhere along the lines of 5′6.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Last thing I googled: “sommertid”, because the birth chart calculator told me to not take summertime into account.

Favourite musician/s: MIKA, hands down. Other musicians I like are dodie, Claudia Boleyn, Ben Platt, Oh Land, Stromae, Tom Rosenthal, and Panic! At The Disco. Lately I’ve also been getting into Hozier. My guilty pleasures are Thomas Holm and Johnny Deluxe.

Last song I listened to: Clean Eyes – SYML

Song stuck in my head: Selvmord På Dansegulvet – Thomas Holm (because this fucking made me think about him. And now we’re at it I might as well mention that this is where my blog title is form)

Followers: Idk, I think it’s like 420 or something (ayyyy nice)

Following: 669 (ayy kinda nice and also 3 too many). That’s just what happens when you have many and varied interests.

Amount of sleep: I go for 8-9 hours every night, but since I’m in my gap year and only work part time, it’s usually anywhere between 5 and 12 hours.

Lucky number: 9

What I’m wearing: Underwear and a grey t-shirt with a neon flamingo on it.

Dream Job: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s why I’m gonna be taking a gap year more. I’m currently considering studying linguistics or forest and nature management (cand. silv.) which are two very different things.

Dream Trip: Lately I’ve been feeling really horny for Italy, but idk what that’s about. This summer I’m going to Prague, which I’m really excited for! I do however also really want to go to Iceland or the Faroese Islands and I would also like to spend an extended period (read: not just a few days) in Sweden or Norway or Finland (why are literally all the Nordic countries cooler than Denmark). I’d love to go to Greenland some time, but it’s not at the top of my list. I’m also thinking India would be a cool country to visit, as well as Cuba. There are so many places I want to go, idk what to fucking tell you. Top of my list is Prague currently, because I’ve been wanting to go back there the past 5? 6? years and it’s finally happening!

Favourite food: Oh that’s a hard one, I love food. My go to foods if I want something that resembles a dish and is easy are fried or scrambled eggs or grilled cheese.

Instruments: I play the violin (technically, I haven’t played much the past few years), as well as some piano, a bit of ukulele and a tiny bit of guitar. Once upon a time I managed to get decent at recorder (which is an awful instrument thank you very much), but I’ve forgotten most of it.

Languages: My native language is Danish and I speak English fluently. I’m decent at reading and writing Spanish, but not so much speaking and listening. I’m trying pretty hard to learn German but it’s weird because I kind of already understand a lot of German due to it being close to Danish, but I struggle to string together sentences. And then there’s obviously the mutual intelligibility privilege that comes with Swedish and Norwegian.

Favourite song/s: That’s a tie between Origin Of Love and Les Baisers Perdus, both by MIKA.

Random fact: I only learned to roll my r’s a year and a half into learning Spanish.

Aesthetic: Oh that’s a tough one. @riceandquinoah once made this for me and I think it’s pretty on point:

I also have this tag with 4 posts in it only.

I tag @riceandquinoah @thegrooound @boxclown @videogayqueen @norawithasideoffries @touring-is-never-boring @cevulusvoluptatemcapit @softeliot @nessauepa @valtersvn @badwolfboy42 @languagemoose @feminist-goddess @scandiblr @osariemenissodonewiththisshit and anyone else who might want to do it, fuck I don’t know 22 people.

If you see this and want to do it, please DO IT and tag me, I love getting to know people!

And lastly, if you see this and are confused as to who I am, you might know me from one of my sideblogs, @bievamohn or @vikinglanguage.

[doedipus]

I finally finished moyashimon

it’s honestly one of my favorite anime/manga that I’ve read in a long, long time. there are definitely some aspects of the work that frustrate me, but it’s not quite enough to sour the work as a whole in my eyes. if you’re in the mood for a really chill slice of life series with a lot of well-developed and respectfully portrayed female and queer characters, definitely give it a shot.

first of all, to anyone who’s only seen the anime adaptation, definitely, definitely, definitely look into the manga. some of the best parts in the series happen after the anime ends, esp. the craft beer adventure in volume 8 and american road trip in volume 10. plus, if you’re like me and are mostly drawn to the work because of kei, her involvement in the story only starts ramping up immediately after the anime ends, and she’s essentially the main character of the last 3 volumes. Plus, ishikawa and his team have a lot of fun with the medium that doesn’t always translate into animation.

All in all, picking up the manga is 100% worth your time if you’re even vaguely intrigued by the premise

more detailed thoughts and a handful of good reaction images under the break

I think overall the beer, france, and america arcs are the high points of the series.

The beer arc sticks out to me mostly because of stuff happening in real life during the time I was reading it. Basically, some of my friends talked me into taking a beer tasting class at uni with them. I’d never really liked beer very much beforehand, but it turns out I was just drinking the wrong kinds of beer. I’ll put my life on the line for a good IPA now that I know what that even is.

The beer section of moyashimon has mutou go through a similar process- she starts out by going on a huge tirade about how craft beer sucks and it’s only appealing to pretentious weirdos, and then over the course of the volume, they go over what different kinds of beer are like, how they’re made, etc. It ended up giving me a good idea of what to look out for in the beer class, and it was fun being able to compare what I was sampling to what the fermentation lab crew talked about.

There’s also a pretty cute gender-affirming moment for kei in there, where the gang gives her a women’s costume for the faux oktoberfest celebration the book culminates in. it’s a small plot point, but I liked it a lot.

The france and america arcs are pretty similar and I like them for basically the same reasons. Essentially it boils down to them tying really dynamic plotlines in with the usual culinary intrigue. There’s a real sense of tension to what’s happening in the story, and the food stuff is more directly related to what’s happening in the story than it usually is. In a lot of the other plotlines, the writers have a tendency to frontload all the technical stuff into one or two extended dialogue scenes, which can be kind of hard to get through in comparison

I also found ishikawa’s assessment of american food pretty fun to read through, and a lot of his comments make me want to try out some western restaurants in japan if I ever end up going there. For instance, he has the characters talk a lot about how burgers and stuff are much sweeter than they’re used to them being in japan, and it’d be neat to have a point of comparison for that.

Also the america arc is where kei and marie probably do gay things, which I am very down for

ultimately, I think upwards of 90% of people who stumble upon this series now, 5 years after the last chapter and last episode were released, are here specifically for kei. she’s the strong bad to sawaki’s homestar: you might not know it yet, but she’s the reason you’re here. if you’re impatient and wanna speedrun straight to the part where she transitions/goes full time/whatever, it’s halfway through volume 4 of the manga and episode 10 of the first season of anime. there’s a lot of fun plotlines that happen before that point that really deserve attention on their own merit, though.

I’m a big fan of kei’s characterization. she’s possibly my favorite trans (or trans-adjacent josou danshi, post-colonialism ho!) character I can think of, and certainly the best I’ve seen written by a cis author. being manga, there’s some dumb missteps that happen, but they seem to be mostly a result of the creators not knowing better rather than them just putting her in to gawk at like a lot of other creative teams tend to do. plus, I think a lot of it boils down to localization error. for instance, the scanslation I read consistently has characters and margin notes refer to her as “he,” but like, japanese doesn’t really use gendered language the way english does, so it’s more representative of the scan team’s biases than the writers’.

One of the things I really like about Kei’s depiction is that the author doesn’t try to make excuses for her behavior. There’s no throwaway line in her backstory about how her parents saw three crows and a capybara on the way home from the hospital and decided to raise her as a girl. She’s clearly attracted to Sawaki, but that’s never framed as her primary motive for transition. She just flatly explains that she thought about it real hard and decided that this was best for her. To me, that’s a much more compelling narrative than one where it’s something either foisted upon the character or something they just sort of haphazardly stumble into.

Another thing that sticks out to me about Kei is that she exists in a series that doesn’t construct its cast as a harem around a singular main character or the reader, which gives her much more room for personal motivations and interests. Like, even though I love Luka from steins;gate to pieces, she and the rest of the female cast in that series really only exist in order to be Okabe’s, and by extension, the viewers’ romantic interests. This ends up sort of limiting their ability for character growth because at the end of the day, they all have to remain available and receptive to Okabe’s advances. As a result, Luka can never really call Okabe out for mistreating her because the writers won’t risk making her route or subplot unappealing. The same goes for plenty of other series trans characters find themselves in, and it shows. So many of them are either smug tricksters there to tease viewers or utterly submissive waifs, and often lack development beyond what’s necessary to get otaku motors running.

Since Moyashimon doesn’t use that kind of restrictive casting structure, the author is able to untie Kei’s sense of self-worth from how Sawaki feels about her and allow the romance subplot to take a back seat while the cast works on their various projects. As a result, she ends up being more independent than most other trans characters and her self-confidence is more genuine. She’s designed from the ground up to be a more complete character, and it makes her inclusion in the main story as well as her subplot with Sawaki feel organic.

on the other hand, as punlich​ pointed out in their post, the series does take a couple passes at introducing characters that seem to be designed with the intent of giving the reader an outlet to vent their sexual frustration around kei, particularly marie and madoka. the former is frequently referenced within the work as being a cis palette swap of kei, and madoka is another of itsuki’s proteges who begins insisting that she’s going to marry sawaki shortly after she’s introduced and receives little characterization beyond that. Marie ends up being a strong character in her own right, but the work probably would’ve been better off if they’d given her basically any other design.

at least in my reading of the work, neither is really taken seriously as a preferable alternative pairing to kei/sawaki, since marie ends up being more into kei than sawaki in the end, and madoka just makes sawaki uncomfortable more often than not. it’s a clear step up from works like steins;gate, re:zero, blend-s, or oregairu, where the trans or GNC character is the one who’s never taken seriously to the point of being a joke inclusion more than anything. still, it’s irritating that the creators would feel the need to include that sort of character, given how they’re usually pretty good about not harem-izing their cast.

uh, and speaking of that, fuck most of volume 11. the central plotline for that section is that the school holds a beauty pageant for the cast, which is, uh, wildly out of character for the series to say the least. it’s to the point where I’m inclined to suspect some form of executive meddling. like maybe they were gonna get dropped due to lack of readership and the brass told the creative team to do a dumb fanservice arc or something. they talk in a sidebar about how they changed editors around the start of this arc, so I have a hunch that has something to do with it?  I guess only they would know, though. it’s not like I can read any interviews or anything lol.

there’s still good content in there, and like I mentioned earlier, it’s when kei starts to really dominate a lot of the screen time, which is a big plus. it’s just dumb and out of place.

I also kind of found the conclusion to kei and sawaki’s “will they, won’t they” subplot really unfulfilling. namely, there really isn’t a conclusion to it at all. at the end, it’s clear that kei’s finally become comfortable with her attraction to sawaki, but sawaki is still kinda hesitant about going anywhere serious with someone he’s been friends with since forever. and like, I can get that, it’s sort of a natural aspect of where that arc would have to go, it’s just a frustrating note to end on. it seems likely that they would get together in the future, at least. (and that’s why you should read my fanfics!)

One thing I really liked about the ending section is sawaki comes up with some proactive uses for his superpower. for most of the series, it’s just a vehicle for ishikawa to exposit about his fascination with microbiology and fermented cuisine, which works great with the lower-key tone the series went for. still, the ways he uses it at the end are pretty clever, and it would’ve been neat to see him go on to use it in other ways. It’s frustrating that one of the uses he comes up with involves doing mouth-to-mouth with madoka, however.

I kind of get the feeling that the series got cut short because a lot of plot threads get addressed and tied up really quickly and sloppily in the last four or five chapters, while a ton of others just sit there. idk if it was a popularity thing, or if ishikawa decided to go all-in on maria the virgin witch, or some other factor, but I guess that’s kind of the nature of serial fiction. it just goes on as long as the creators and publishers are engaged with it, and then it’s over and they all move onto something else.

I’m being pretty hard on the ending portions of the series, but honestly pretty much everything not directly related to the beauty pageant or madoka is really solid. I’m just laying it all out there so nobody gets caught off-guard by the jankiness more than anything.

For one reason or another, moyashimon really struck a chord with me, and it’s kind of hard to put into words why. A big part of it is that kei is a character that I feel a sort of kinship with, which is a rare occurrence as a trans person. She feels like a real person that I’d meet through a message board or discord lobby. The rest of the cast has shades of that as well- the students feel like people I could have met in school, and itsuki harkens back to aspects of professors I’ve had, from his weird sense of humor to his rather alarming past working for the military. It’s easy for me to subconsciously insert myself into their fictional friend group. I guess it’s kind of like how people tend to engage with redlettermedia or ensemble let’s play channels like game grumps or super best friends play. Reading about the gang’s antics confers a sense of belonging that I’m perpetually starving for.

Another aspect of it is that it’s just fun to indulge in someone else’s hyperfixations for a while. It’s why sci-fi authors like heinlein and crichton are so influential, and why internet personalities like cgp grey or jon bois are so engaging: they’re really adept at articulating how utterly captivating some concept or ideology is to them at the moment. Somewhere between most and all of what ishikawa has to say about food and microbiology goes directly over my head, but the passion he has for those topics is readily apparent in every jargon-infested, chart-saturated debate he has his characters get into, and I love it. In that sidebar he goes on about his relationship to his editors, he mentions that the top boy editor chewed him out a couple times for basically trying to sneak a textbook into the magazine. It ends up being compelling based on passion alone, even if I only really internalized a fifth of what he actually had to say.

Is moyashimon for you? Ultimately I don’t think it’s really for anyone besides ishikawa himself. But if you’re at all like me, chances are you’ll fall in love with this bizarre and charming edutainment series anyway. If any of this sounds even remotely interesting to you, I can’t recommend checking it out highly enough.