#the ideas is Glenn being fucking annoying .

[itsbrucey]

I need to man the fuck up and just start writing Closeson fanfics before I actually lose my mind. This is new levels of brainrot

[leahcee]

does anyone know any good no apocalypse AUs for the walking dead??😩

[carlsangel]

LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU (PART ONE)

carl grimes x fem!reader

(you and carl have an argument and he makes it up to you.)

tags: SMUT!!! p in v, RIDINGGGGG BABYYYY, unprotected sex (be safe!)

masterlist here!

read part two!

i wrote this so i could get motivated to write again, it’s the first fic i’ve written that wasn’t requested in a long ass time, so this one’s just an idea from me and a fic for myself i hope u like!!!

Carl was always telling you that you needed to be safe outside the walls. He always told you if you were to go on a run, the only people you should go with was Daryl or Glenn. So, when he told you he couldn’t go on a woods date because he’d be going out for supplies with the two of them, you wanted to go with. But he still refused.

“I don’t understand, I thought you said it was fine if Glenn and Daryl took me, you said they’re the most reliable. We were supposed to go to the woods anyway…” You reason, following him through the house as he gathered his belongings. “We can go on the date tomorrow, anyway this time’s different. We’re going to the store on Miller street, the last time the guys went, it was filled with walkers.” He makes his way out of your guys’ room and down the hall. “Well why’re you going then? I don’t want you to.”

He stops just before the stairs and he sighs, turning around to look at you intently. “It’s just how it is, okay? I don’t want to have to worry about you out there, and you definitely don’t have to worry about me.” He explains. You’re sort of annoyed at the fact he thinks he has to take care of you. He continues down the steps and you follow after. “You don’t have to worry about me, I don’t understand. You’re being quite the hypocrite.” You refute. He shakes his head and grabs his bag before heading towards the door.

“Seriously Carl, what the fuck?” He places his hand on the handle and turns to you. “I’ll see you at eight.” He opens the door and leaves, shutting the door behind him.

You stayed home the whole day, quite pissed to say the least. You babysat Judith, which didn’t bother you at all but you’d rather have gone with him. You felt worried, not to mention left out. By the time they came home, you were sitting on the floor in the living room with Judith, playing with her toys. “Here, bug, this one has jingles.” You shake the toy in front of her and she yawns, grabbing it but dropping it. You hear the front door open and you see Carl and Daryl walking through the door. AKA your signal to get Judith up to bed.

You stand up and pull Judith up as well, letting her stand on your feet as you take slow steps towards the stairs. They both acknowledge you and Carl’s the first to say something. “Hey, how was babysitting?” He asks, noticing how focused you are on keeping Judith on your feet. “It was fun. We gotta go to bed, don’t we Judith?” You reply dismissively, Daryl and Carl share a knowing look while you head up the stairs.

You get Judith changed and in her crib, you exit and closer her door quietly before turning to be met with Carl just standing there. “Oh sh-” You put your hand over your heart and he sort of giggles at you. “Jesus christ make a noise or something.” You roll your eyes and walk down the hall and he follows after. “I’m alive, see? The run was a breeze.”

He tries his best to make you realize you were wrong about not wanting him to go out. “Yeah no shit, I see that but that doesn’t make the whole situation any less frustrating.” You retort. He closes the door behind you guys and you sit on the bed, kicking your boots off your feet and he does the same. “I was left here alone, not to mention you ditched our date.” You stand up to start changing and he watches you from the bed. “I know, and I’m sorry I just- It seemed like the best way for me to get practice with knives. I’m still not the best since…my eye.” He replies quietly. You turn from the dresser to look at him.

Well you just feel bad now. “Shit I just feel sort of selfish…I’m sorry.” You sort of sympathize with him and walk over to run your hand through his hair. “Don’t worry. I get it, probably more than anyone.” He holds the sides of your thighs, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over them as he looks up at you. “But, if you wanna make it up to me, and if you’d let me make it up to you…I can think of somethin we could do.”

Within the next couple minutes you’re both stripped of your clothes, Carl is sitting back against the pillows while you’re on his lap. He has your tit in his mouth, his eyes shut, just enjoying the feeling of your nipple against his tongue. He moans against your skin and your hand goes up to tug on his hair a bit. He pulls away from your chest to look up at you breathlessly. “Please I need to feel you.”

You smile and adjust your position on his lap, slowly sinking onto his dick. The both of you moan at the feeling, he leans his head against your chest as he feels your heat surround him. His hands go to your hips, yours go to his shoulders to steady yourself. He guides your hips back and forth, only making the pace quicker. “Oh fuck you drive me insane.” He mumbles into your chest, his eyes half lidded and his grip on your hips getting tighter.

You can feel him start to buck his hips upwards, pushing his dick farther into you. You lean on him a bit, resting your weight on your knees as you straddle him, allowing him to thrust up even more. He rests his hands on your waist and looks up at you, watching as your eyes roll back into your head at the pleasure. He slows a bit and you pull away to lean back on your hands, his cock still penetrating you while you steady yourself. This put your body on display, he could see everything.

You start to move yourself back and forth, practically fucking yourself on him. Carl’s eyes go wide at the way you grind on him, he could cum from the sight alone. And he almost did. “Fuck- m’gonna-” He said shakily. You’re breathing heavy, the feeling leaves you unable to speak and Carl leans forward to rub your clit with his thumb. That basically sends you over the edge and you cum, moaning quite loudly. The feeling of you clenching around him added on top of your moans causes Carl’s orgasm to follow shortly after.

A couple of minutes went by and you were cuddled together in bed, he’d cleaned you up and pulled your clothes back on for you. You loved aftercare with him, he was always the sweetest. The two of you soon fell asleep in the comfort of each other’s arms.

─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───

The next morning, you had perimeter watch so Carl woke up early to make you breakfast. Or try at least, he made you eggs and selected some fruit for you to eat before leaving. He sat and talked with you, making you laugh before leaving for work. You did a ton of different jobs at Alexandria, perimeter watch was your least favorite. You’d even faked having a bad headache one time to get out of it.

So, you stood there watching carefully when you hear a voice from the bottom of the post. It was Glenn. You peak your head over. “Can I come up?” He asks. “Yeah go for it.” You step back and continue to watch around the gates while you waited for him to climb up. Once he did, he looked at you and sort of laughed awkwardly. He was being weird but he’s always sort of like that so you didn’t pay any mind to it. “Did you need something?” Your focus is still on the scenery in front of you as you speak.

“Uhh…yeah there was sort of something I need to tell you about the run yesterday.” He was nervous and it was evident with his tone. You turn to him, your eyebrows furrowing a tad. “Okay..explain.” He nods and swallows hard. “Just- don’t get angry okay? I mean I’m not really meant to be saying anything but I feel horrible to keep it from you and-”

“Oh my god please just spit it out.” You cut him off. “Right. Yesterday Carl had a close call with a walker, it basically tackled him and was really close to just-” He stops for a moment but continues. “It almost bit his face off. Daryl saved him last second when I’d got close enough to hear their conversation…I guess they didn’t see me, they made an agreement to keep it from you. Not to tell you about it.” He explained, somewhat ashamed.

You stop to think. You felt shitty about it all, for sure. He’d gotten pissy at you about wanting to go, made you feel bad for not wanting him to go, and used the excuse of his eye. He told you it all went well. He lied to your face, then fucked you after.

a/n: part two is coming soon :)

tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @evilnight07 @ilikestrawberriesandwomen

[charmac]

Do you think with his current (canon) mindset, Mac would hope Dennis to idk, "come out" or turn out to be queer and be in a relationship with him, or would he prefer pining away in gay angst or hoping that it would go away eventually? Asking as a queer person who used to think at least my gay unrequited crush is devastating but familiar and I do not have to find or improve myself to enter uncharted territory and I do sometimes see that in Mac's behaviors, tho idk how much of that is projecting.

Good question! I think it was once the former, ends up (kind of) the latter, and is now something different (or maybe a mix?). As to your two ideas, the Season 15 switch is indicative of this “change” which may or probably does have a lot to do with Glenn rejoining the writers room.

Season 13/14 is as clear cut as it can be with the idea that Mac is hoping he can “convince” (aka harass) Dennis into being with him. He very much thinks he can either force himself on Dennis and eventually Dennis will give in (see: 13) or he can manipulate Dennis (and their relationship) in a way that will make Dennis interested in him (see: 14).

Season 15 is when we see Mac’s offensive come to a rest and his defensive come up. He’s actively trying to resist reacting to Dennis’ physical touch (ty, Rob, for that) and I think this is what you would call “prefer pining away in gay angst,” part of it, but he’s also visibly annoyed by Dennis’ ailments and outbursts, and much more defiant toward him. He seems to have come to terms with the relentless pursuit never going to pay off and, while he’s clearly still into Dennis, he’s actively trying not to be and is maybe even a little annoyed that he is still into him.

By Season 16, this “resignation” of Mac’s relentless pursuit seems to pay off, with he and Dennis being closer than ever (bed sharing and all), but it may have gone too far on Mac’s side. Because I do genuinely believe he convinced himself he’s over Dennis and it fucked him over a little (but probably gave Dennis the security to do what he did).

In my opinion, “the Johnny of it all” was impossible for Mac to grapple with for two reasons (outside of his general stupidity and naïveté lol) 1. By the end of 14 Dennis has convinced him he was never going to wear him down, and 2. By the end of 15 he’s convinced himself that he’s over Dennis. He’s in denial by his and Dennis’ own design.

So now, who the fuck knows? I’ve been wrestling with this in my brain since S16 ended, and I seriously cannot predict where Mac will be in Season 17. Clearly he’s still into Dennis by the way he hangs on him and sucks up to him in Bowling, but I have to imagine he’s still in denial about Dennis being Johnny (while some part of his brain knows it’s true, he can’t accept that Dennis was, literally, fucking him for some number of weeks-months) and, still being defiant, he’s not actively pursing the man through the end of 16.

So currently, in canon, is he still on the defensive side of the relationship? Silently pining while actively pushing against Dennis? Or will he be back on the offensive, since it’s technically “his turn” to get something back from/out of Dennis in their fucked up little relationship?

I think this would be fun to predict, where Mac will be on the MacDennis front this season, maybe once we get more (any) info on Season 17, lmfao

[trans-queen-administrator]

Taylor being paranoid about her passenger is such a fun character trait. Like none of her friends really seemed to give much of a shit when they learned about passengers from Bonesaw, but Taylor consistently notes the times her passenger acted without her consent, she tries to talk with it, communicate with it, just anything to learn what this thing that can control her without her say wants with her. One of my favorite little details is that during the timeskip this was the focus of a lot of her therapy sessions with Yamada, trying methods like hypnosis to communicate. I think part of it is that she's inherently just paranoid about the fact that this thing is helping her sometimes and she doesn't know why and she HAS to figure it out because no one would help out of the kindness of their heart, and another part is just that she can't bear to not be in control and this is something that threatens that in a very ominous way.

Another aspect of her paranoia towards her passenger is that she doesn't want to take blame for her own actions I think. During the Behemoth fight when her ally tried to shoot Phil Sē, she pulled the gun off target with silk and got him killed. She's the one who pulled the string, but because she's genuinely unsure if it was her being wary or her passenger setting up the string she settles on the second option because it absolves her of the possible blame or need to admit she's paranoid and ready to betray people in an instance. When Glenn shows her the video of her being the most terrifying fucker in existence she ignores how horrifying she is and fixated on how her passenger moved her, and then she doesn't have to think about the fact that she'd fit right into the ranks of the Slaughterhouse Nine because well, she can blame her passenger and focus on that instead. This applies to other people too, she sees Lung not using his power and thinks that maybe he's concerned about his passenger like she is. She projects hard onto Sophia in my opinion when she says that she got violent because of her passenger. If this person she doesn't like isn't to blame for everything she inflicted on Taylor, the surely Taylor can't be blamed for the violent steps she took to take over a city. It's another way she rationalizes everything to herself, if something is so bad that she can't justify it immediately there's always the excuse of "my passenger made me do it." But crucially, Taylor ends up being aware of the fact that she's doing this during Gold Morning.

And I think it's really good that this is something she grows and accepts about herself. It's wonderful growth for a character who's so often too stubborn to move herself forward. She's generally more in touch with her passenger during Gold Morning, like the time when she thinks that her and her passenger were in agreement in wanting to hurt Scion on the oil rig. No one else in Worm really seems to accept their passengers, Riley is questioning how much of herself has been subsumed by it, Eidolon is always annoyed it doesn't give what he wants, and most other people don't even know about them. But Taylor forms a bit of a symbiosis with hers after a long time rejecting it at every turn. I think this quote really sums up her feelings towards the end.

And by towards the end I mean like, at the very end, because immediately after this thought she becomes Khepri, and yet another fucking theme and character trait cumulates and reaches its peak with Speck. God damn what a good arc. The blur between Taylor and her passenger that she always feared is finally an actual thing consuming her, and she can finally communicate with her passenger as well. I do wonder what this is like on her passengers end. It's clearly down for the idea of killing its maker, and it's heavily implied that her passenger does care and doesn't want to actually leave Taylor as a husk (too lazy to get the quote because I've been typing for 45 minutes but Contessa remarks upon the administrator claiming everything about her until there's nothing left and she feels fear that she thinks is from both her and her passenger. 30.7 I think, near the end). But there's still so much about Taylor's passenger that's unknown. Was communication something it may have wanted when Taylor kept trying to communicate, but doing so required punching holes in the connection that would lead to more bleed through and functionally destroy its host? Did it slowly grow to care for Taylor more than the cycle, or was it always wanting to fight Scion? Did Taylor's autistic swag convince a multidimensional alien made of crystal to rebel? Is Queen Administrator trans? Idk how to end this post if it's not obvious, sorry.

[altocat]

Ever Crisis: The First Soldier CHAPTER 5 Recap

Now that Sephiroth has joined the game, expect a lot more rambling/inane bias.

We open back up in the cave. The trio is resting when Sephiroth whistles to them to round them up. Glenn is pissy at the idea of them taking orders from a kid.

We meet up with Seph, where he tells us we'll be cutting through Cawpine Caverns. He said he spotted the Rhadorans there, so he thinks there's probably a base. He's got a mind to go run in there and kill shit.

Glenn keeps calling him a "cyborg", though he said he'll accept Seph's leadership since Seph is a big hero. He also threatens to kick Seph's ass if he whistles for them again. Seph pouts and trails unhappily behind them.

The group walks along a long trail thick with Mako. Seph holds them up and APOLOGIZES about whistling before, saying it was rude. He didn't realize. He admits he hasn't really had many opportunities to actually interact with people. This is his first real field assignment. Sheltered lab rat Seph confirmed??

Seph says him being a hero is a LIE. He said Shinra made him the face of the program and manufactured all of his "achievements". It was all one big recruitment ploy. He doesn't think he's a hero and he doesn't WANT to be one.

Glenn warms to this slightly and tells him now's his chance to prove himself to be a REAL hero. After all, he's freakishly strong in combat.

Seph doesn't want to be a hero. He says he just wants to live a normal life. But he mumbles it so the others can't hear. He said it's "never going to happen anyway". My heart is actually breaking??? OW.

They move to a waterfall. Natural materia has formed here. We have a very familiar Nibelheim-esque callback scene. Matt infodumps some familiar dialogue and Seph practically winks at the camera all "HUH NEAT".

Glenn reveals he got into trouble a lot as a kid, acting out how often he had to apologize for screwing around. Seph...doesn't understand him acting goofy. But it actually makes him laugh a little. AWWWW.

Oh god here we go. Sephiroth very awkwardly shows them a PICTURE of HOLY FUCKING SHIT LUCRECIA IT'S LUCRECIA OMFG. He calls her "Jenova". Seph asks if they've ever met or seen her before. It's a really detailed Remake Trilogy-esque pic of Lucrecia.

He said HOJO gave him the picture, but wouldn't tell him anything about her. That's surprising. Now Seph goes around asking everyone he meets if they've seen her.

Anyway, monster time. I finally get to fight as Seph! Little baby boy is so weak and pathetic compared to my way over-leveled FS trio lmao. His model is also very smol in comparison to them. Runty Seph!!! I'm gonna have to max this boi out.

After the fight, Glenn asks if Seph showed them the photo because he figured they'd die before he got to ask. Seph says no, but giggles about it. Precious angel baby boy.

Seph says that talking to the three of them must be what "having fun" is like. And that he enjoys it. Guys, I'm gonna die. I'm fucking crying. AND LUCIA PATS HIM ON THE HEAD GUYSSSSSS.

They enter the base. Seph tells them they are to eliminate all monsters and Rhadorans. He said this includes kids and old folks, rationalizing for both--SEPH'S also a kid, and the old folks could be veterans. YIKES Seph. He spouts some propaganda about this island belonging to Shinra. The boy is brainwashed.

With that said, they're keeping him pretty balanced so far. He goes between being genuinely sweet and endearing to ruthless war weapon. As he should be. I like morally gray Seph.

I attempt to navigate the base with a severely under-leveled Seph. Thanks, Square. Lots of Rhadorans and filler monsters slain. Many sections have annoying gates you have to unlock.

This caps off with a fucking STEAMPUNK MECH weapon thing. And of course it's a somewhat hard fight so it's grinding time with Seph.

After the fight, Sephiroth runs ahead in pursuit of the Rhadorans. He tells the group they should split up in different directions. When Glenn protests Seph going off by himself, Sephiroth says it's his "cyborg instinct". So he's still sore about that brief bit of bullying. Aww.

While the trio is tangling with the Rhadorans, who shows up but fish-goblin STAMP! He keeps following the trio and tears into the fray.

The whole place starts to fall apart thanks to explosives. Our trio books it, where they find Sephiroth outside, a huge pile of Rhadoran bodies all around him.

Here we go. The emotional climax of the chapter. Sephiroth says they were trying to evacuate everyone who couldn't fight, which Seph evidently took care of. Glenn asks if this violence was necessary and Matt equally says that they could have been used as bargaining chips.

Seph says they have to kill. SURPRISINGLY, Seph managed to get hurt! The so called "kids" Glenn mentioned earlier apparently had some combat training and backstabbed Seph.

Seph says that people make assumptions about himself as well, so he tries extra hard to prove them wrong. He says that his training proved to him that he needs to be strong, smart, and ruthless in battle, a hardened heart. It's kill them before they kill you. Obviously Shinra brainwashing. But also, Sephiroth has obviously seen a LOT of trauma at this point.

To which Glenn steps towards him and gives him The Hug. It's life or death out here. But Sephiroth has nothing to prove. He only needs to show compassion.

Sephiroth sadly shakes his head and is either crying or having something close to a mini-breakdown. To which he whispers the heartbreaking finisher of all finishers: "...I'm not a cyborg."

Glenn gives him another hug while Sephiroth stands there and cries. FuCK. I'm dead. Like, absolutely gutted. Jesus christ.

Sephiroth murmurs "I never wanted to be." A cyborg, obviously. GAME CALM DOWN I CAN'T KEEP CRYING LIKE THIS.

A bit later, the trio and Seph spot the other island in the distance. Glenn says there's someone who lives there who is "kind of like" Sephiroth. There's those parallels.

We cut to a brief scene of Rosen and his dog, lighting the chimney. White smoke. Lucia points out that when all the Rhadorans are gone, it will just be Rosen by himself.

This chapter was agony. Pure, undiluted agony. Almost up there with Zack's death. Almost. It's somewhere in the top 10 FF7 tearjerkers. FUCK.

[wormbloggign]

genuinely interested in what taylors reading here, assuming it isnt required reading for school since the prt seems to have regulations on and about juvenile capes

i wonder if its twilight?

self care!!! (she would not give herself this kind of time off if she werent in prison)

taylors back to her favourite pastime again!

the logistics around this would be very funny to figure out, though i pity the sap that has to change the bug-ket when it gets full

that explains how quickly they got it, i had assumed dragon was just being creepy and had pre-made the hero!skitter costume in the hopes it came up.

this way is probably better

...

yeah, nah that's not gonna work. "mistakes" is doing a bit too much heavy lifting on your part armsdealer

he is staying as STILL as POSSIBLE (goofy guy behaviour)

so were currently 2 for 2 on PRT non-cape fuckheads, lets see how he holds up! (either way i somehow doubt he is long for this world)

Mrs Yamada. I like where you're coming from but therapy + 10 judgemental onlookers might not be the best call.

aw fuck hes getting downright endearing

REAL (clockblocker has shot up to S tier)

WORLDS SLIMIEST MAN (its nice that hes on taylors side but like wow this guy is shit)

GIRL!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SPOT CHECKING!!

she does not give up on her hobbies gd

dont worry, all im doing is setting up a large scale surveillance state, perfectly ethically and legally sound.

okay ignore any bad ting i may have ever expected to say about glenn.

THIS MAN GETS IT

YES!!!

WERE GETTING DOWN THE PRESENTATION!!!!

the dissonance is too powerful for him, he's seen taylor at some of her most nightmariest highs and now she's going through the same public relations hoops he had to

i really wasnt trying to find him this charming, i really wasnt

taylor drops ONE (1) bugfact and suddenly shes getting called a nerd. maybe the endbringers are right, we really should kill them all

d-doesn't he go to classes on exacty this?

what am i saying, he wouldnt pay attention in school

yes actually, 'disturbing' does suit your swarm of insects quite well as an adjective

i get that we're supposed to be a little annoyed at the constant micromanaging but i expected theyd do at least this much, im surprised she didnt get some media training beforehand, theyre being pretty hands off, all things considered.

maybe thats because they want her to fail though :(

eyyyy! thats... deeply disturbing as a heroes one-liner actually. maybe take some more time workshopping that

oh that's nice, her bugs worked to break concentration, this is a fight against dnd wizards

LETS GET ELDRITCH BABEYYY

unbe-weaver-ble

i do love how hard theyre commited to the bit though

legitimately sick burn

had to be done, glenn wont be happy though

B)

“Taylor Hebert?  On the issue with the bug population of my facility, I feel it would be a very bad idea to provide you with a caustic substance to give your bugs, given what your file says you achieved with capsaicin.  I had a bug zapper purchased, and you should be able to access it with each and every one of your tiny soldiers.  I expect to see it used, understand?”

(moving to copy paste bc tumblr says no more screenshots)

immensely funny solution

The spiders, I kept on hand, directing them to the burned corpses.  They could breed, in time, and I could put them somewhere where they wouldn’t encounter any people. Breaking the rules, maybe, but it was something to occupy my thoughts.  It made me feel just a little safer, a little more like myself.

its gonna be so funny when the wardens find the underground spider breeding ring

[saanphoenix]

I...

Excuse me, Alto. Not talking to you, but:

UGH. Sephiroth knows how he was raised, Sephiroth knows how much blood is on his hands, he knows what Hojo and Shinra consider him. He may be worth more than that, but the reality is not what you want it to be. It's not what he wants it to be. And "telling the truth" here may be an attempt to drive Angeal away, but it's also just him revealing his truth to someone he probably thinks has the wrong idea about him, just like everyone always has the wrong idea about him.

Angeal telling him he's wrong here is not going to work. Going, "No, you're one of us!" like fucking Zack tried with Genesis is going to bounce off just the same way it did there. Sephiroth doesn't trust Angeal right now. Such a "reassurance" about him NOT being just a tool is going to sound like annoying false platitudes.

Angeal saying, "Oh, you're a weapon? A cold-hearted killing machine? I don't care. I'll still like you," IS WHAT'S NEEDED.

You have to meet people where they're at, not where you want them to be.

Hell, y'all saw how Glenn reacted to Sephiroth doing what Rosen wanted him to do. D'ya not think he might fear this other kid he HAS trained with in VR might fucking lose his goddamn mind on him, too? Thus the unwillingness to trust???

I just. HOO BOY. Some of the takes I've seen in the tags blow my mind.

ANGEAL WE DON’T DESERVE YOU SKFHF

[thegeminisage]

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean's weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean's dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference ("you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you're roma downey?")

references to real life phenomenon ("i don't wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice" "try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla")

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude ("easy there, van damme" "so i’m girl interrupted" furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of "chucklehead" "asshat" and on the nicer/endearments end "buddy" "pal" "sunshine" etc)

an idiom ("a snowball's chance" "if it smells like a duck...")

slang ("drinking the koolaid" "jonesing for some hooch" not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor ("power up your batteries" "fly me back to my page on the calendar")

a euphemism ("cloud seeding" "i'd have given you an hour alone with her first")

sarcasm (his habit of replying "peachy" or "super" when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire "vampirate" and "werepire" debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: "it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?")

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there's an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean's pop culture references, because the average viewer won't have seen everything he's talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don't understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that's because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going "what the fuck is WRONG with them?"

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn't help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean's mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he's talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester's way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental "dean winchester dictionary" and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he's telling dean that he can't understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean's tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean's jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says "it was a witch, not the tet offensive." since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: "you wanna just walk right into the death star?" cas: "what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?"). whenever he asks dean to clarify it's always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he's too annoyed to care. (dean: "i don't know who's on first, what's on second!" cas: "what IS second???") i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it's season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don't remember what season he started using "yeah" instead of "yes" but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don't think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that's something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what's true romance, fellas? it's falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he's ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spn masterpost]

[harveylikestoart]

I am SO curious in the Ghost of Nick Close AU as to Nick's reaction toward seeing Glenn again post prison, how UNHINGED he'd become, naming the Rat 'Nick Jr' and how much of it was clearly through him being fucked up over losing him...

I have tried drawing this multiple times over but I can’t get it right so you only get the initial reaction. How DARE Glenn wear an armour suit at all, that stuff be annoying af to draw.

I’ll write down the idea I had for it all tho 🤘

So like what happens is Nick sees his dad and is, obviously, pretty damn stoked! He starts striding up to him, containing his excitement and saying “shit Glenn, you look badass!! I know doing time makes some people grizzled and all but holy shit!” Tryna keep it chill you know?

He goes for a handshake but Glenn just walks right through him. Nick stills as Glenn keeps going straight for Nicholas. When Glenn puts HIS hand out for a predator shake Nicholas just looks at his hand and then past him to where Nick is staring at them with this look.

At this point Nicholas feels a little bit angry FOR Nick. Because on the way there I’d say that Nick would’ve been hyping up this moment. Nicholas can see him, cool. Rad. But his DAD? OBVIOUSLY they’d immediately be reunited, nothing could keep the Close boys apart! They’re thick as thieves and all they have is each other so Glenn would DEFINITELY be able to see him!!

Yet there he sees basically his new best ghostly friend fuckin HEARTBROKEN that this didn’t happen. That they’re both so close and yet so far. The one person Nick had left. But also now this asshole just walks up to him like all’s good? Like being a shithead during the adventure was just over? So Nicholas just brushes it off with veiled annoyance and tries to just get back to his dad. Also to subtly try and check on Nick.

HOWEVER, Nick Jr on the other hand is confused, he saw a vaguely human shaped blob pass through Glenn and it smells just like him AND this kid that Glenn approached. So like, he doesn’t know what the fucks up with that.

Nick’s kinda just shrugging it off at this point, burying down the crushed emotions and moving on. If Glenn can’t see him now maybe there’s another way!

Then boom Glenn goes to attack Jodie and Nick is just feeling so many things, his dad just attacked this guy thinking Nicholas is HIM. Nick at first didn’t appreciate Jodie like, at all, but he’s seen how Jodie acts with Nicholas, he’s attentive, he makes sure he’s doing okay and he’s PRESENT. He would never admit that he’s slightly jealous, because that’s lame, however watching his dad rage at this guy feels really not goooood.

Updates on everyone else’s knowledge of the situation at this point.

Jodie: doesn’t know anything but thinks something is bothering Nicholas and is concerned about THAT.

Darryl: Paeden fuckin told him and he was trying to figure out how to tell Glenn when they got the chance.

Ron: listened in to a few of Nicholas’ convos and kind of got the gist before Darryl explained it properly

Henry: he did a little wild shape at some point and saw a blurry ass humanoid blob around Nicholas before they made it back into Meth Bay, consulted the other dads and Darryl filled him in on what Paeden said.

Paeden: realised that Glenn can’t see Nick and that this entire thing is very fucked up! He would like this fixed real fast!

Anyways Nick does not realise that Nick Jr is there until he fuckin climbs out while Paeden and Glenn attempt to finger tut and he’s like “HOLY SHIT RATATOUILLE.” Then yadda yadda he screams at the sight of spider Henry, spider Henry sees blurry Nick blob again.

[cognitosclowns]

Goshhh, I'd love to see something of the inside job gang getitng together with a reader who like, already has a small kid. Like, a baby. We all know there's def some in the gang who are gonna be better at handling that but asdfghgfd

SNIFFLE <333333333 I already did one of these w/ the gang interacting with Reader's kid (like,, idk 9-14), but I can't find it-

SFW!!! just cute shit, no explicitly X Reader but can be interpreted that way

Gigi

SHE LOVES BABES <3333 they're so cute they're so squishy,, she has such a soft spot for kiddos. I personally hc her having a kid and she MISSES those baby years!!!

Please let her babysit she knows,, all the tricks. She'll gladly take the little one off your hands for a few hrs while you rest!!

She's also one of those types of ppl who,, don't get annoyed by babies yelling or crying?? Maybe it's all those years of ignoring interns but she is so completely unfazed when your bab starts being fussy

aa <33 she puts on music and carries the baby and dances around a bit, just like her mum used to do with her <3333333 it's super cute, please join her

on a similar note, so many lullabies <33 that kid is gonna end up humming those as they grow up.

Reagan

yeah no

MSNDSMND she just. they're so small and loud and icky and. please no

not the type for babysitting - it's a small kid, so it won't be crawling around causing trouble when she's over, looking over blueprints with you

She brings earplugs just in case it starts screaming!! It's a good balance so that she can still come over to work on stuff and hang out with you but,, not have to hear it MSNDSMD

She might have a peak or two at it, if she's curious - sure, she doesn't like kids, but she also doesn't wanna be rude either. Besides, if the little brat is part of your family, she'll have to get used to it's presence eventually

and its..... cute.

"aww, are you manipulating me using evolved traits to make me want to protect you? Yes you are." Just,, little bits of teasing while she wiggles her fingers at it.

The second it starts screaming she is OUT THO SMDNSMDN

overall?? Not horrific but definitely not great.

JR

YEAH SMDNSMD PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS REAGAN

At least until they're a little older - he's pretty bad with babies, he can only really tolerate kids.

It's irritable and can't do his paperwork he might as well be talking to a fucking goose

He WILL however spoil the hell outta it, mostly for your sake <3

He wants to make sure you have everything you need! if you need a day to rest, or even just some better quality stuff for it.

He went through this rodeo once, when Rand and Tamiko had Reagan, so he isn't completely hopeless. He knows the basics and can offer a few tips (maybe not,, the best tips, considering he learned most of them either On The Fly or From Rand)

He'll definitely get closer to the kid once they're older!! It's easier to bond with something when it can hold a conversation SMNDSMNSMD

MYC AND ANDRE

YES IM COMBINING EM, BC IF ONE OF THEM IS HELPING WITH THE KID, 99% THEY'RE GONNA CALL IN THE OTHER FOR MORAL SUPPORT.

They're horrible in a good way. Like utterly incompetent but also the kid isn't dead by the end of the day so..... win?

"Support the fuckin' head." Myc knows,, slightly more about childcare, only because he's been alive for 4000 years and it's kinda impossible to not interact with kids a little when you've been around that long.

Andre puts on Mozart!! He has no idea if it's actually gonna do smth, but his mum did it for him and he didn't turn out... that bad?

"If we put on all his concertos at once-" "Please no" you're gonna have to,, adjust their techniques a little.

Andre's way more caring towards kids than Myc overall? He doesn't really like getting attached to humans, and especially doesn't like following humans through their whole lives.

Glenn

AAA <333333 he's such a natural with babies it's unreal. You wouldn't expect it, but it's pretty effortless for him.

Your little one can rest in the palm of his hand.

He has two kids, he knows the drill by now. Expect plenty of Southern Yeehaw child rearing tips that seem absolutely insane but,, actually work? Questionable but functional.

SNIFFLES <33 he love tickling them to hear em giggle. Baby laugsh cure his soul, he's never looked so at peace

ALSO THE KID LEARNS HOW TO SAY 'Cadet' BC THATS,, ALL GLENN CALLS THEM SMDNS THATS HIS NICKNAME FOR THEM. It's one of their first words, Glenn is extremely proud.

Brett

NATURAL DAD BUT ALSO. VERY ANXIOUS

He makes that Nervous Hissing Inhale noise while he holds them.

HE COOS SO MUCH <33 AT THE BABIE <333 He's got his little 3: face on, gently stroking their cheek, giving little nose nuzzles. He's gonna get such insane baby fever. as if he didn't already sdnsmdMSNDS

He doesn't actually know that much about practical babycare, so he'll probably stand back and watch!! Please teach him some stuff, he'll be so happy <333

OH he may not know a lot about babycare but he DOES know a lot about personcare!!!

yes he's bringing you food and treats and,, clothes and blankets and literally anything you could possibly need!! He remembers how stressed his aunt was after she gave birth, so he wants to help however he can!!

If they ever say his name he WILL burst into tears. "Bept :o" he is fucking sobbing MSNDSMN <3333

Alpha-Beta

He's the type of guy to be like 'oh no I HATE kids they're horrible and annoying and awful hate hate hate' but. the second he actually sees one irl. it's a complete 180 he would protect it with his life MSNDMSND

he THINKS he hates kids bc he hates humans (and even,, that is questionable) but,,, it clocks him that kids actually Don't Suck As Much As He Initially Thought

They're just so. small and innocent and helpless. They don't have any ill wills, they aren't greedy and horrible like adults, they just want love!!!

So yea he makes a solid effort to hate it but the second it starts staring at him with those Big Blinky Eyes...... no he's done for lmao MSNDMSND

"are you fucking insane-" as you gently hand the baby off to him.

He's so scared of accidentally hurting it. he doesn't have,, a great track record with people and,, babies are so fragile.

THE BABY LOVES HIM THO <333 his body hums at this,, low vibration so it puts them right to sleep <3333 please exploit this.

JUST A LITTLE THING <3 MWA THIS WAS SUPER CUTE, LMK IF YOU HAD SMTH ELSE IN MIIIIND <333

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

TWD characters + bookworm!reader

Summary: How TWD characters would react to a bookworm!reader, who is trying to build a library/make a survival guide post-apocalypse.

Beginning Notes: loved writing an imagine that wasn't Vikings, and this idea was so fun! thank you @justyouraveragefangirl1967 <333

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Rick

Rick is a very practical person

So he doesn’t understand why you’re making a ‘guide’

No one needed a guide until now

He’s mostly annoyed at you causing minor trouble sometimes

Remind him that he causes major trouble often and you might be fine (or not season 5 rick was brutal)

Michonne

Michonne came across as a very educated person judging from both her job from before and her temper

I’d say that she would support you in creating a guide, even if she doesn’t need one herself

But she would ask you to not collect books on supply runs

Basically wants you to keep the basic survival stuff separate from your library/guide thing

Maggie

I don’t headcanon her as a big bookworm, but I think she would support your idea

She also has quite a bit of practical knowledge, coming from a farm

She’d help you, either by giving you information or being your editor

Also appreciates all the extra knowledge you bring with you, even if it causes trouble sometimes

Glenn

He’s all for the guide

Hell, he’ll help you collect books

Thinks it’s great for people who have been very sheltered since the start (like the Alexandria community)

Him and Maggie would definitely be your biggest supporters

Carl

Also thinks the guide is a great idea

However, he doesn’t like your book collecting interrupting the runs

Except if you bring him comics, then he doesn’t mind all that much

Not as passionate about books as Glenn or Michonne, but he’ll read your guide once your done

Daryl

Like Rick, he doesn’t really understand why anyone would need a guide

The group did just fine exchanging their knowledge

Plus, he never read books before

He’s willing to try and understand for you

However, your hobby fucking up runs is an absolute no-go to him

Carol

Carol read a LOT before, it was her way of kind of escaping Ed

She also struggled in the beginning

So she’s all for sharing your knowledge and creating a guide

Like Michonne, she expects you to make sure that your book runs don’t interfere though

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

The Gang Texts. I don’t know why exactly but that episode makes me feel like my head is going to explode. I can’t stand miscommunication and I also don’t like when Dennis is written like he isn’t equally dependent on Mac. The ending is good but everything leading up to that makes my head hurt. Interested to hear your thoughts!! Especially if you disagree because I’d love to hear a more positive take on this ep.

~ glenn-howerton-ships-macdennis

That a very interesting take! Good news I do disagree with it lol. But as I said when I was rating fanfic tropes, I love miscommunication and think it’s extremely human so I’m sure that makes me like it more.

I love the Gang Texts! It’s fascinating to me that you interpret Dennis as being not very dependent on Mac in the ep when I see it the complete opposite way lol. The whole reason Dennis gets mad at Mac in the episode is because he’s convinced Mac purposefully sabotaged his chances to see the lion feeding (which he only missed because he left to go look for Mac because he wanted to be able to watch the feeding with him. Boyfriend behavior) because Dennis always thinks people are pushing his buttons on purpose. As Mac points out in his (amazing super shippy and hilarious) text messages to Dennis, Dennis is EXTREMELY dependent on Mac even after all these years (I still can’t get over that he has Mac regularly rub his pecs after a work out like. Talk about scenarios that make me feral to think about lol) and that’s the whole reason he gets so upset because he does rely on and trust Mac a lot so the idea of Mac doing something purposefully cruel to him (which lets be real Mac HAS done before) makes him legitimately sad which makes him angry. That’s why all it takes to calm him down is looking in Mac’s eyes because before when Mac was talking and texting it felt like manipulation to Dennis but seeing the love in his eyes makes Dennis realize Mac didn’t hurt him on purpose and idk I think it’s really beautiful! Big win for macdennis!

And I get why Dennis just refusing to read Mac’s text could be seen as annoying and going in circles, but to me it feels very in character like it feels like the exact kind of fight those two WOULD have, y’know? And the scene where they meet in the bathroom and Mac tries to make it up to Dennis with the petting zoo just makes Dennis think Mac is fucking with him, which again only hurts him more because he is so reliant on Mac and does trust him to make him happy most of the time. Also the sexual tension during the pissing scene is absolutely insane Mac looks down at Dennis’ dick and Dennis just bites his lip like if that guy hadn’t walked in they totally would have fucked (hence the “you guys grindin?” joke). The Gang Texts is just macdennis all the time just pure macden goodness. Even though they’re fighting most of the ep it’s such a couple fight and I love it.

Also Frank in this ep? Hilarious. I love him trying to fuck with the gorilla and ending up the one fucked with. I love that Charlie can understand Frank’s texts even though he can’t read because of their weird little bond. I love that Charlie is way better at texting than Mac in general because and not in spite of the fact that he’s illiterate. I love that Mac is here writing fucking letters when everyone else is texting as short as possible (relatable). I like that Dennis calls Dee out for being homophobic but plays along when Frank does the same thing like ughhhh moments that remind me Frank is Dennis’ dad. There’s a lot of little moments in their texting I feel like you only notice on rewatch. I honestly liked the episode a lot more after I’d seen it a few times because of that lol.

It’s just a such good episode to me I love so many things about it. I hope I can give you a new perspective on it!

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 2,193 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: the prison Warnings: none really Summary: Y/N falls ill and Daryl goes to make sure she's okay, only to discover her cell is empty. A/N: Just a short and sweet fic! For all you fellow migraine suffers out there! Requested by: @winchestershiresauce and anon!

Your name: submit What is this?

“Gettin’ real sick of staring at these ugly fuckers,” Daryl said, smashing the end of the metal rod in his hand through the chainlink fence and into the brain of a particularly loud walker. He watched carelessly as it crumpled to the ground and was immediately replaced by another.  “Yeah, well—” you jabbed the crowbar in your hand into the temple of the seemingly endless infected clamoring at the fence, “someone has to do it.” You paused for a moment as your head suddenly swam. Daryl immediately noticed.  “What? Ya alright?” He thought maybe you looked a little pale all of a sudden, which was strange considering the sweltering heat and humidity. He was sure he was red-faced and he knew he was soaked with sweat.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment and shook your head. “It’s nothing. I’m good.” You resumed your thankless and grim task, picking out another infected dead one to put down. You felt Daryl’s eyes on you for a moment longer before he turned back to the fence. You wiped the sweat from your brow with the back of your hand and pushed on, but it was only a few more minutes when you felt your vision start to change and the familiar stabbing pain began to grow behind your eyes. Daryl watched as the crowbar dropped to your side and you froze again, squeezing your eyes shut, a grimace wrinkling your brow. “Hey—s’goin’ on? And don’t feed me some bullshit about how you’re fine,” he drawled. He watched your fist clench around the iron crowbar. “Just—just a little too much sun probably. I’m just gonna go get some water and shade for a bit. I’m fine. Really,” you said, opening your eyes again and turning to look at him. His eyes were narrowed as he peered back at you, concern obvious on his face. “I’ll walk ya up—” “No. No, Daryl, I’m fine,” you reassured him, forcing out a light laugh. “Just keep at it down here. I’ll see if Glenn or Maggie can come down. There’s too many walkers. We need to cut this herd down or we’ll lose the fence,” you said, already walking backwards toward the gate. “I’m fine,” you tossed out one more time, forcing a smile that you knew wasn’t entirely natural. He watched you turn and let yourself through the gate, taking the alleyway between the fences back up toward the prison. Hopefully you just needed to rest a little while... He continued to work on thinning the herd for a while but found himself distracted. Neither Maggie nor Glenn came down to help and it was possible they were just busy, but he found himself fixating on an intrusive thought that you’d collapsed somewhere of heat exhaustion on your way back to the cell block. He finally decided to take a break himself and make sure you were alright. He could see if anyone else was available to help on the fence too. The archer didn’t find you anywhere on his way back inside, collapsed or otherwise. He breezed into the cell block, stalking past Beth who had Judith in her arms. He slowed as he neared the cell you’d claimed and was surprised to see that it was empty. He spun on his heel and headed right back out toward Beth. “Hey. Ya seen Y/N come in here?” “She came through a little while ago, but she left again,” Beth said. “But ya did see her?” Daryl asked again. Beth nodded. “Yeah. I saw her. Why? What’s goin’ on?” She saw worry in the archer’s expression. “Any idea where she went?” Beth shook her head. “No. Daryl, what’s goin’ on?” “Nah, nothin’. She just—she was out on the fence with me and said she wasn’t feelin’ well. I just wanted to make sure she was alright. I was thinkin’ I’d find her in bed but she ain’t there.” “Oh,” Beth said. There was something like a realization on her face and Daryl paused. “What?” “Nothin’,” Beth said again, averting her eyes back toward Judith.  “Ya ain’t a good liar,” he said, a little annoyed that she obviously knew something she wasn’t saying. “C’mon. Spit it out,” he said, flicking his fingers at her. Beth looked up at him again and still seemed unsure. “It’s just—she doesn’t really want anyone to know...” “Know what?” he pressed. Beth looked hesitant, but the look on Daryl’s face convinced her to spill it. “Sometimes—she—she gets migraines. They can make her real sick,” Beth said, bouncing Judith on her hip. “Only reason I know is because I saw her leavin’ with her pillow one time real early in the mornin’ when I was up helpin’ with Judith.” “Leavin’? Leavin’ to where?” “She needs it dark and quiet... so I think she goes to one of the other cell blocks,” Beth said. “But she really told me not to say anythin’.“ Daryl stood stunned for a moment. “One of the other cellblocks?” Beth nodded. “Ya mean with those bloodstains and shit all over the place?” Beth shrugged. “I told her no one would care but she insisted I didn’t tell anyone anythin’.” Before Beth could ask him not to let you know that he knew, his broad shoulders were already disappearing back out the door. Daryl checked two cell blocks before he heard the sound of you being sick. He pushed through the cellblock gate, which creaked lazily on its hinges, and found you huddled over a bucket. You rinsed your mouth out with water and didn’t notice him standing in the cell doorway until you had sunk heavily back down on the edge of the mattress. You startled a little and Daryl watched your expression and body language just sag. 

“Great...” you muttered. “Did Beth rat me out?” you asked, sliding further back onto the bed and wiping a shaky hand across your clammy forehead. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how disgusting do I look right now?” you asked, leaning your head back against the wall behind you and shutting your eyes. Daryl was just about the last person you wanted to see you like this. He watched a flash of pain flit across your face. “‘bout a 5,” he drawled, stepping into the cell. You cracked one eye open to take in his expression and saw that although one corner of his mouth was quirked slightly upwards at his joke, he mainly looked concerned. You closed your eyes again as the light coming in the high cellblock windows made your head throb.

“I’ll be okay. I just need—if I can get to sleep, sometimes that stops it...” You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling the thudding of your pulse beneath your fingers. “Sometimes?” Daryl repeated. You didn’t respond and he moved farther into the cell until he was standing at the side of the bunk. “I thought it was yer head. How come ya got sick?” he asked. You took in a deep breath and tried to let it out steadily. “If the pain’s too intense sometimes it can make me nauseous.” Oof. Talking was not helpful. “Mmm.” You shook your head. “Can’t talk.”  “Hmm...” Daryl considered you for a moment. “Scooch. And lie down.” You looked up at him, surprised, through bleary eyes, the aura of your migraine distorting your vision uncomfortably. “What?” “Ya heard me,” he said, his tone soft. You obeyed and shifted closer to the wall, settling down on your side. Daryl squeezed himself in beside you, sitting up with his back against the wall, legs crossed at the ankle.  Your eyes were closed, but he still saw your expression tighten as waves of pain crested and fell. “What can I do?” he drawled quietly.  You shook your head. “Just—nothing...” you murmured, feeling a hot wash of shame spread over you. The next moment your eyes shot open as you felt Daryl’s fingers running over your hair, following a strand gently, brushing lightly over you. You peered up at him in surprise and he immediately pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and chewed it anxiously. His fingers left you for a moment. “Uhh—s’that... help?” he asked, his hand hovering above you. You nodded and closed your eyes again, just in time that you didn’t see how red Daryl’s cheeks and ears suddenly were. “Actually, yeah. That helps...” you sighed. His fingers landed in your hair again and resumed their gentle movements. He watched your breathing slow and deepen, and you seemed to sink more heavily into your pillow. Once you were asleep, Daryl carefully slipped from the cell and returned with a blanket for you, covering you over gently. He debated about heading back to the main cellblock, but the idea of leaving you there alone bothered him. Ya shouldn’t be in a fucking prison to start with, but alone in that cellblock that still held signs of unspeakable horrors? That was out of the question. So, instead, he slipped back onto the edge of the bunk, setting his back to the wall again, and settled in next to you. Maybe it was the hard work out on the fence earlier, but he was soon asleep too. When you woke up many hours later, you were surprised to see Daryl beside you asleep. his head nodded down toward his chest. He’d stayed there next to you? That whole time? He woke as you stirred a little, leaning up on an elbow and peering up at him, rubbing your eyes with your free hand.  “Hey,” he said, feeling suddenly awkward and climbing off the bunk and onto his feet. “How ya feelin’?” You nodded. “Better. Thanks. Just... a bit hungover,” you said wearily. The sharpness of your migraine had faded to a fuzzy kind of ache, and your whole body felt fatigued. “Hungover without the fun of gettin’ lit in the first place? That’s some serious bullshit,” he drawled, leaning back against the wall behind him, arms crossed over his broad chest. “Yeah, tell me about it,” you said, swinging your legs over to sit on the edge of the bed, the blanket falling from over you to land in a soft pile. “Thanks...” you murmured again, feeling that creeping wave of shame rising in you again. Daryl must have sensed it because you could feel his blue eyes on you, studying you, and you glanced up at him. “Why didn’t ya tell me?” he asked. “I mean, why hide it?” He looked around the empty cellblock and his eyes landed on the bloodstains on the floor outside the cell you were in and the piles of trash nearby. “This ain’t where ya should be when yer sick. Ya should be back where—where we can take care of ya...” He’d almost said “I” instead of we, and he felt his heart start pounding.  You hung your head and stared down at your hands. “I don’t want to be a burden...” you said quietly. “It’s better if I just deal with it. Alone.” Daryl scoffed and you glanced up at him. “Tha’s stupid. Ya ain’t alone. Ya got a family. And ya ain’t a burden cuz ya get sick. Ain’t yer fault. Can’t control it. Ya didn’t choose it. It’s the shit hand ya been dealt.” You shrugged and peered down at your hands again, anxious. “This why ya had to back outta that run the other week at the last minute? And—that time when we were out tryin’ to track that horse?” Your jaw clenched and you nodded. “Usually I know when they’re coming on. Sometimes I have more warning and sometimes hardly any at all... Before the world went to shit I had a couple medications that really helped, but—can’t exactly walk into a pharmacy now and fill a prescription,” you said wryly. “It’s fine. I manage them. But... I know it makes me weaker...” “Weaker? Nah. That ain’t true. If anythin’ it makes ya stronger cuz ya gotta deal with that pain.” You shook your head. “No. What if I’m out there and one hits me? That’s a weakness, Daryl. It’s dangerous.” “Mmm,” Daryl hummed, chewing on his bottom lip. He seemed to make some decision at that moment and straightened up. “Look. From now on? If yer gettin’ sick, ya just tell me, alright? No matter where we are, I’ll always make sure yer safe. If we’re outside the fence, we’ll find someplace to hole up. If we’re in here, I’ll make sure ya get to bed and that everyone keeps fuckin’ quiet so you can rest—well, ‘cept Lil Asskicker, but can’t do nothin’ about that,” he drawled.  You managed a half smile. “Daryl, you don’t have to—” “I know I ain’t gotta, but that’s how it’s gonna be. Like I said, yer not alone.”  You were a little overwhelmed at the moment and you felt a bubble of emotion forming in your chest. You cleared your throat and tried to gather yourself for a moment before you looked back up at him. You knew there was no point in arguing. “You’re the boss,” you said, when you finally met his blue eyes. He rolled his eyes at you in response.  “Alrigh’, we both know that ain’t true... C’mon. Let’s get ya somethin’ to eat,” he said, tilting his head in the direction of the cell door.  You smiled and took in his broad shoulders and strong arms, feeling another rush of heat in your chest. The softness inside that badass warrior always melted you and you had readily come to the realization that he was simply your favorite person in the world. And soon you planned to tell him so.

[cognitos-handbook]

Could you do headcanons for reader x Reagan where the reeader throws a surprise birthday party for Reagan 💗🌷

This is a fun ask for sure 👀

Hope you enjoy <3

Okay so, I’ll be very real here

She HATES the idea of birthday parties, and especially surprise ones

There’s soooo much trauma and bad memories that come with that lmao - she in past years has prefered to keep her birthday on the downlow, and spend it working in her lab instead

But you really really wanted her to have at least one good birthday, yknow? And you were going to do it yourself, but of course the gang found out and wanted to get involved. Brett and Andre especially

They wanna go big, but you know Reagan and you know better than to try that lmfao

So instead, you try and keep it small!! Basically just you, her, and the gang <3 (With a specific no Rand allowed policy <33)

There’s definitely a lot of arguing over there being any sort of theme, activities, and other such things, but it doesn’t take too much really for you to convince everyone to try and keep it fairly simple at least

Or as simple as could really come with this group, that is

It’s not hard to keep the secret from her, with how much she drowns herself in her work and trying to avoid anything to do with her birthday; she’s not expecting anything and is honestly hoping for nothing, to be completely honest

But you at least want to try

The day of, you all actually managed to get things set up with a day off for everyone (thankfully her birthday that year landed on a day perfect for that, without much complaining from anybody)

Brett took the pleasure of keeping her distracted and with him while yall got some food and a few decorations and the like set up at her place, you having used your key to get in

When she finally gets there with Brett she’s definitely.. a bit thrown off to say the least? And not entirely pleased, unfortunately

But she sees how hopeful you are, and how excited everyone else is, and decides that fuck it, she’ll do her best to tough through it and see how it goes. For you.

As the party continues though, she finds it less and less difficult to try and enjoy it <3 You really did set it up so she wouldn't have to worry about much, and with it just being you all she felt more comfortable for sure

Not to mention how you went out of your way to make sure her dad had no part in anything and wouldn’t be around for the day (and not that she knows, but you and glenn had a very.. specific plan in mind should he have tried anything <3)

By the end of the night she’s actually smiling and laughing and enjoying herself, and it’s really nice to see :)

Lots of fun gag gifts to mess around, and some surprisingly thoughtful and sweet ones from everyone (except Myc, who made it his goal to annoy her as much as possible, as usual)

Once everyone leaves it's just the two of you, and she’s sure to give her thanks, all soft and happy and so thankful for you <3

And then comes the private celebration - what happens there is up to you :p

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz