#the idea of everything going to shit with the bounty and then everything also going to shit in their personal life

[urthemiiel]

personally if i was the detective in wayhaven, my ceiling caving in would be my absolute last straw

[probablybadrpgideas]

I feel like this is the right place to share the story of Post Apocalyptic Macho Man Randy Savage, the one time where my bad idea was telling a player "Hey, that might be a bad idea for this campaign"

Maybe 10 years ago I dusted off d20 modern for a Fallout-inspired post apocalyptic two-shot, a lot of what I'd DMed to that point was your typical D&D and I wanted to start trying different settings. I'd imagined this to be a pretty gun-heavy few games, so when my buddy decided that he wanted to make a grappler, I told him that I didn't think that was a great idea. My buddy took that shit personally.

Now, I was used to silliness at my table. I encouraged it, in fact! This campaign also had characters based on Squidward, Shrek and the Sanik meme (to anyone that knows Fallout lore, imagine Sonic hooked on Jet), so when my friend came to me with Macho Man Randy Savage I tutted a bit, but didn't bat an eye. What I hadn't realized was that my friend had spent the three days in between our conversation and the actual game building the perfect character to make me eat my words. The Post Apocalyptic Macho Man could grapple, he could evade and he could talk his ass off and that's it, but with these three ingredients- plus the bounty of the Dice Gods- this character derailed everything I'd had planned.

Band of raiders that have a caravan held up? Suplexed into each other before they could even get their guns. Super mutant? Nothing that can't be solved by suplexing a propane tank into the mutant (plus a well timed shot from Sanik). Mirelurk? More-a graps! Wave of bullets flying towards him? That's okay, just do the trademark Randy Savage tippy-toe walk to the nearest cover, then wait for the earliest opportunity to throw cocaine in their eyes and suplex the son of a bitch that thought they could snuff out the Madness (Oh, I forgot to mention that he spent literally all his starting money on cocaine, which he used in much the same way that Dale Gribble used sand). I really go out of my way to stop one character from becoming the capital-P Protagonist of the game, but my other players quickly figured out what was happening and they leaned into Macho Man's bullshit HARD, so they'd started setting up bad guys to get suplexed! By the end of the evening, my friend sat me down, flashed me the most shit-eating grin I'd ever seen to this day, and asked "So is the grappler still a bad idea?"

To tl;dr the rest, I furiously re-wrote the plot for the second night (again, two-shot) to make the bad guy Hulk Hogan, and the final encounter boiled down to a wrestling match between the two with the other players electing to "sit in the crowd and boo the Hulkster", before ultimately the two settled their differences and decided that the easiest way to rebuild society (and get decent blow again) was to reform the WWF and found a city called WrestleMania. Sanik was on board for the blow, Squidward was convinced to join them when he was told that the wrestlers would need entrance music and, so long as they kept away from his swamp, Shrek promised to help them find a suitable place to build Wrestlemania (though it totally ended up in his swamp). Anyway, that's how I learned to never tell a player that their idea for a grappler won't work, a grappler will work in any setting if you've got enough spite in your heart

­

[blackholesun321]

Shanks Doesn’t Have A Dream! And I Can Prove It!

Ok, y’all, can I talk my shit again? Because I have thoughts and feels about our good old one-armed favorite disaster of a party pirate, Akagami (Red-Haired) Shanks. I’m going to be completely honest: I may have had this rant before, but I can’t find it, and no one else has this take. I need to talk about my vision of him that I’m like 60/40 percent sure is correct canon-wise and would explain so many of his—let’s call them quirks.

I think one of Oda’s beliefs and the teachings that One Piece has so blatantly told us about, such as personal freedom, charting your own destiny, and making your own adventure along the way, are a reflection of Shanks’ character as someone who never got that chance and never would. That, to me, makes him one of the saddest characters in One Piece.

Let me cook here. I’m not going to cite anything because I don’t want to, and I do that enough already in college, so we’re running on trust me: I’ve read the manga and watched a lot of theory videos. So lock in because this is gonna be long.

Anyways, back to my thesis. Shanks is a character of contradictions. He was the youngest person to ever become a Yonko (but then Luffy came in), probably one of the strongest men of his generation. He regularly fought the world’s strongest swordsman for fun. He has a crew whose members each have over a million bounties on their own and are so physically or politically strong that they can stop a war in its tracks just by waltzing in and saying "stop." Not only that, he stopped Kaido in his tracks and made him turn around. His father was the Pirate King and claimed him as his successor; he could even be tied to the Celestial Dragons. He’s charismatic, and when things need to get done, he gets down to business.

On the other hand, he’s also a goofy guy who regularly gets blackout drunk, has a horrible sense of pant style, parties his life away, and thinks bullying kids is the height of comedy. He cares about his kid to the point that he forgets to be a responsible Yonko but also wants to fight him for the One Piece. He seems so blasé about everything but is obviously, in the background, making connections and being all sneaky about something; he has plans but also didn’t decide to go after the One Piece until after his prime. He’s been stagnant but moving and shaking around the world, all for some big ideal, some big plan, something huge.

It is my stance, idea, theory, if you will, that all this makes sense if you look at it from the viewpoint that nothing—not the planning, not stealing the fruit, not the power growth, or making his way to Yonko status, not building his crew, even the hurry-up-and-wait—he’s been doing all these years, his whole life? Is because he’s hasn’t made a single decision for himself since Gol D. Roger died.

Outrageous! You cry! Shanks, a man who supposedly spouts on about being free and charting your own course and being a pirate? Is none of those things? Impossible, you will say. I will ask you how you got into my house and to please leave. But aside from the pirate bit, yes, and I can prove this. Calm my chili-baby’s and listen.

Yes, Shanks had his life taken from his adventure, his destiny set and marked right before the Loguetown execution. It is my belief that all this can be laid at the feet of—drumroll, please—Gol D. Roger himself!

Gasp! Crying! Fainting in the audience! I know, what a twist. Let me explain. In a flashback, we see Roger talking about Ace. It was Roger’s belief that Ace (his child) would be the savior of the world, the new Joy Boy, destined to destroy the World Government with what they learned from the Poneglyphs and Laugh Tale. He believed their generation was too early and that the next would usher in the new world. Ace would be his true successor. A little narcissistic, but a man like Roger probably couldn’t help but be. Not just that but it probably felt prophetic he found Laugh Tale of course that had to mean something?He was also dying as it was and put things in place for Ace to survive. He told Garp where he was so Garp could take him away with Rouge—a safety net, that sure was useful. Once she ya know, died.

With the understanding that the next generation would usher in the new age, Roger took aside a thirteen-year-old Shanks and revealed everything. He told him about the birth of the new Joy Boy, everything about Laugh Tale, and how he believed his son would usher in this age. I believe he gave Shanks this purpose: to pass on the straw hat to his son and help him become a man strong enough to fight the World Government. I think little traumatized Shanks, who is about to lose his father and has had the weight of the world put on his shoulders, takes it to heart and buries everything he is to fulfill his captain's last wish. And that’s horrible. I’ll get into the psychological implications later, but holy shit, Roger, what the fuck? He’s thirteen! And about to watch you die!

But yeah, doesn’t this make sense? Why the hell when Buggy wanted to go after the One Piece, did Shanks hold back and say they should wait, losing his brother because he has a secret his captain entrusted him with. Why the hell did they know about the Gum Gum Fruit and were searching for it? Why did Shanks spend so long on a little island like Fousha in the East Blue? Not only was he looking for the fruit, but he was also looking for Ace! (And maybe Rouge.)

Why has he been making all these connections but doing jack shit with them? Why did he become a Yonko but claim no territory for fucking years on end and do nothing really with his status? Why does he rely on such a small crew of such powerful individuals? Why does he party his life away, seem almost aimless, and not start to go after the One Piece until Luffy reaches Gear 5?

Because he’s the one to pass on the legacy; he’s the placeholder, a cog in the proverbial machine that is fate. He made sure Joy Boy would exist. And now that the dominoes have been placed and are falling fast, he’s going to challenge Luffy and make sure he’s strong enough to fight for it—strong enough to take on the World Government, the Celestial Dragons, and Imu—and then hand him a big red button to help do it afterward. That button will be all the sneaky shit he’s been doing in the background.

He’s been the bridge between his captain and this new age. Sure, it was too early, but his influence rippled out through the people he trusted and touched in his life. The same way Rayleigh trained Luffy, knowing what he was preparing him for in the next part of his journey, waiting years for him to arrive at Sabaody.

And all that needed to happen was the dreams, adventures, and sacrifices of a young boy. It’s almost poetic—a son for a son (or sun, in this case). My therapist says I make light of dark shit so I don’t have to emotionally feel the pain.

And now we get into the sad portion of today’s episode. Prepare the tissues because this is why I think Shanks is one of the saddest characters in One Piece.

Because think about it: Shanks’s life was charted for him; his adventure and future were stolen, decided with the reveal of Laugh Tale and all the secrets around it—everything, all so the next generation could one day rise up and bring a new dawn. Shanks never got to have a dream because it was stolen from him. He’s a walking, talking empty automaton, fulfilling his captain's dying promise made by a grieving thirteen-year-old.

He is dreamless, and for a man who is, in some sense, the freest in the world—can go anywhere, can do anything, is powerful enough to stop wars—he’s still trapped, chained to a future he can only wait for.

I don’t think he knows who he is outside of this. I don’t think he thinks he’ll live beyond it. (Which like I will fucking cry because this is gonna be kinda true.) I don’t even want to call it an ambition. Duty, maybe. Damned promise, more likely. And it’s ruined every relationship outside of it he’s ever had. Aside from one—

(Don’t even get me started on him and Mihawk and miscommunication, failed expectations, and Mihawk being the epitome of everything Shanks isn’t. With his dream chasing to the ends of the world, ending up unfulfilled and alone. Finding companionship and what he thought were similar drives in each other, but once Shanks lost his arm and his hat, he realized Shanks was never fighting for something he wanted. And it broke him a little; it broke their relationship—one of the only relationships Shanks chose for himself, with nothing to do with his mission.

And Buggy—he gave up his brother, was forced to leave him alone, and couldn’t say anything, couldn’t tell him the truth, couldn’t destroy his dream. And he couldn’t even be selfish enough to make him stay. Like, oh my God, the drama.)

Doomed yaoi aside, the only thing and person I think that messed up his perfectly made plans is Luffy.

Sweet baby Luffy wasn’t so sweet before the Red Force arrived. In the manga, it is mentioned that he was an angry, bitter child, lashing out almost like Ace to a degree. But Shanks, by just being kind, by being good, and by reaching out and teasing this little ball of anger, transforms him, saves him in a way. He gives him a drive, a dream, and a morality to live by. He gives him everything he never got—everything stripped from him. Shanks turns him into the type of person a special kind of Devil Fruit might call out to and get eaten by.

Nika chose Luffy because Shanks saved him by just being good and kind, giving this kid something beyond his anger and bitterness. Shanks gave Luffy the idea of freedom, and in return, he allowed Shanks’s perfectly clear mission to shatter. I think this Shanks makes the first real decision in his life: he goes, "Fuck, well, we’re backing this horse now," and Luffy becomes his child—not his captain's, but his future to bet on and help grow.

And I fucking love that. Luffy saves him just as he saved Luffy, in a way. And that’s his kid, his successor, more than it ever was for Roger. I will die on this hill. (If you want, you can even look at it as Shanks finally choosing a dream all his own and it’s Luffy.)

Will Oda see it this way? Probably not. He has a habit of brushing off stuff like this; I think he’ll make Shanks’s character into a noble man dedicated to stopping the World Government and not even think about the implications of tying all that to him at such a young age. But I do think Shanks expects to die when Luffy comes to fight; I think he wants to, just how Mihawk wants to die from Zoro’s blades. Because what is there beyond this? (And again, parallels!)

And I believe he will live! (Not Mihawk—he's gonna die.) Shanks will live, and symbolically, Luffy will free him from this self-imposed duty, this promise made by a child. Shanks will have made, even unwittingly, the thing that would free him, allowing him to move forward in a world where all the purposes he needs to find are his own.

And holy shit, that’s a lot for him, but then Blackbeard will happen, and he’ll die only having known freedom for a short while. Luffy will cry and create a new dawn, and it won’t be for nothing—except it will be for everything to Shanks.

In conclusion, Shanks doesn’t have a dream of his own. He never had a dream; if he did, it was squashed out of him in order to fulfill a promise set by his father, Gol D. Roger.

He loses his brother, loses his control over his destiny, and as his father sets such things into motion, Ace, Roger’s child, will become the new Joy Boy.

He makes a connection with someone outside of that mission and purpose, and in doing so, creates the opportunity for his own freedom and his own choice in Luffy.

Later down the line, Nika/Luffy will eventually free him in the same way he created his own freedom back then, giving him a new choice going forward. They will free him from the mission that was placed on his shoulders as a thirteen-year-old child, and afterwards, he will consequently be killed by Blackbeard, and everything will be horrible, and we will all cry. The end.

I hope everyone enjoyed this thesis on Shanks. Feel free to use it and steal it to your hearts content. I would love to write more if anyone has any questions or things they want to ask; I will be opening up my ask box for questions. I would love to go into more detail on his relationship with Luffy, his rivalry with Blackbeard, and how that ties into all of this, as well as his relationship with Mihawk (fuck man the parallels!!) or maybe Buggy. (Which I have less on it’s just really tragic.)

[fl3shm4id3n]

Dₒₚₚₑₗgₐₙgₑᵣₛ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴘʀᴏᴡʟᴇʀ! ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ᴠᴇɴᴏᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: you and miles are vigilantes, theft, venom symbiote, mentions of death, mentions of getting shot, Symbiote being a little shit sometimes, murder?

A/N: Since I don't really know much about earth 42 Miles, I just came up with an idea on why he is the Prowler.

Masterlist

The first person to know about your Symbiote was your boyfriend Miles, you knew that he was the one and only Prowler, sure he was a vigilante, but he did more than the police had ever done, it all started when his father died. His dad was a good cop, but sadly he was killed while on a patrol and the police station did nothing, so Miles had decided to take matters into his own hands.

You had no idea how the alien had got to you. One day you just woke up and bam, you had an Symbiote on you. Miles could not believe it, he has seen weird shit, but not this weird. Your Symbiote on the other hand, was a little shit, who was always hungry or would just flat out fuck with both you and Miles for its entertainment.

But as time passed, you and your Symbiote got along well, it would still mess with Miles, but your boyfriend was cool with the creature. Then one night that you were walking home late back to your apartment complex, you nearly got shot by a mugger. He had wanted everything that you had, but refused to give him any of the money Miles had given you, then you heard gunshots.

Except, your body had been consumed by a black liquid, almost similar to a shield, then you felt a lot of anger and all sorts of things going through your body, next thing you new, the guy was dead. Ripped apart on the ally. You went back home straight away, wondering what just happened.

You had bumped into Miles, and basically told him what happened. How you were nearly mugged and you basically killed the guy. Miles wanted to kill the guy himself, but he was already dead. Then that was when your Symbiote had told you both its abilities.

Now this caused interest, you basically had some kind of weapon on you. And that's how you began to help Miles and his Uncle, they both helped train you so that you didn't get your ass kicked, sure you had your Symbiote, but it was good that you knew how to fight. You didn't have to help, but you choose to help both Miles and Aaron. At first your Symbiote wasn't convinced, but once you told it that with the extra money you got, you can get them as much junk food as they wanted, they agreed.

Thanks to you and your Symbiote, you manage to get more money, but majority of the money would go to Miss Morales, she worked hard as a nurse, but she wasn't getting paid enough, you believed that she dissevered the money due to her hard work. Besides Bounties, you also stole from the rich and helped the people from your community. Since no one cared about your people, you and Miles made it your mission to help them as much as possible. Sure it was dirty work, but you didn't care, if this was how to help the community you grew up in, so be it.

You and Miles had been on a mission, you as Venom and him as the Prowler. You had stolen some money from this Rich's guy's home, after you got both your shares, you went to drop it off at the orphanage that was near your apartment complex, afterwards you got a call from Aaron, there was a situation and he needed both of you to see what it was. "What do you think it is? Another bounty?" you asked, your face had been uncovered to be able to speak and look at Miles. "I don't know, but it sounds important. Lets go." That was all he said, then you both hurried back to the hide out.

Once you arrived, you crawled in through the window, then you saw someone tied onto the punching bag while Aaron was messing with some stuff. You wanted to get a better look, so with your spiderlike abilities, you crawled on the celling. As soon as you saw the guy, he looked identical to you boyfriend, except he had his hair in an afro and he was wearing some kind of suit, spider suit in particular. Now you were above the person tied up on the punching bag, then your boyfriend made himself present. You also spotted someone else, tied behind him, when you set your eyes on them, you couldn't believe it, it was you! Except, the fake looked more nice and sweet, very unlike you.

He then got down, while you stayed on the ceiling. Aaron then tossed him one of his gloves in which he caught. He looked very intimidating when he got closer to the imposter. "Your dad is still alive?" he asked, making the imposter respond in confusion. "What?" he asked, making your boyfriend repeat himself. "You father, you said he is still alive." he said, this time the imposter whispered. "Yeah.." he said, making your boyfriend let out a small hum. "Who are you?" he asked, a whole minute passed, then your Miles reveal himself to the other one by removing his mask from his face. Your fake couldn't really see any of what was happening, except hear everything, she could feel how everything was happening all at once.

"I'm Miles Morales, but you.. can call me the Prowler" he said, making the other Miles have a look of shock. "If I don't get home, our dad is going to die-" he tried to reason with him but he was cut off by your Miles. "Your dad" he said coldly, making the other more scared. Then this was when you decided to make yourself present. You slid upside down using your web, now face to face to the imposter Miles. Your face had been covered, so all he could see was your sharp rows of teeth and your wide white eyes, making him even more scared.

You smirked and licked your teeth with your long tongue. "I didn't know you had a twin brother, I thought we didn't keep secret from us Babe" you teased, in your demonic voice. You then got a hold of the other Miles face, lightly pressing your sharp talons on his cheeks, causing him to be even more scared. "He isn't my brother" your boyfriend said. You continued to have a good look at the fake. Impressed on how similar he was to your boyfriend, except he looked more dorky and soft. "W-who are you?" he asked again, still frightened.

Just like your boyfriend, you showed your face to him. This caused him to let out a small gasp. "I'm Y/n L/n" You said then you turned the bag around, now face to face to your other you! Just like Miles, she was terrified, even more terrified than Miles. "But you can call me Venom" you said with a smirk, showing her the fangs that you developed over time. It made her even more scared, you saw how she was shivering by the fear.

Taglist?: @sorryi-mtrash

[fluff-n-cookies]

Randomly off the bat Dabi, Shigaraki and Spinner (separately) With a quirkless girlfriend Who has an Ex that wants to get back with her, BUT……. The ex turns that “HE BROKE UP WITH HER” because she “had no quirk” and that she was “useless to him”

(Those are the quotes she says to them while telling them the short version of the story) Dabi, Shigaraki, Spinner, deals with the situation themselves.

(I love those boys😍 and I thought it be a good idea story for you, so go crazy and have fun with it😅)

Okay, girlie, while I love the fact that you're sharing this stuff with me, I don't think you read this. the yellow paragraph. I hope you send this request to some other writers, @honeybubblebeeeeee is one of my personal favs. I do however like the idea of a reader having no quirk and being abandoned because of it, so I'll put a platonic spin on it.

AND I ALSO DON"T WRITE FOR SPINNER SORRY!!!

Reader was abandoned by their family after being born to a quirk marriage meant to provide children with strong quirks only for their first child to have no quirk. not wanting their reputation destroyed they abandoned our dear reader at 5 leaving her in an orphanage and a note to near come find them less they wanted a bounty on their head. (reader is now 16)

Dabi likes children, he likes how they have this innocent aura, he likes that they, hopefully, have not gone through the horrors he has. Hopefully. On the other hand, he hates quirk marriages, he hates hero's, in fact, I'd even say he hates fathers in general.

To tell Dabi that your relationship with your father or your mother is bad is to get them at the top of his hit list, VIP shit. Endeavor is just a couple seconds behind them.

but what hurts him more, what hurts him the most is if you actually believe them, if you push yourself through hand to hand combat, sniping, and other such practices not for the sake of improving yourself but to prove to them (not that they care) that you are not useless.

Oh how it pains him, to wake up in the dead of night to see your tear stricken face as you berate a poor punching bag to death on the roof. The wind is cool as you swing, and swing again. It's as if you dance for the stars of the night and the stars alone with not a thought for the trees or the mountains. Only ever the stars. 

The sting hurts, the impact of thinly wrapped fists against a leathery wall, but that anger that drains with it is enough to make the pain worth it, is it not?

That anger you feel, is an anger that Touya knows all too well. The type of anger that makes one want to yell of the heavens, yell that they are not a sinner despite being imprisoned in hell. He’ll watch as you swing with fury, fury of not being enough, fury of being thrown away like trash.

one man's trash is another's treasure though, right?

In that case, you're Touya's most darling treasure. Oh the urge to hold you close and tell you everything's going to be okay, as he pets your head, whispering promises of vengeance on your behalf. To give you a reason to smile.

Oh, it's strong.

Oh, the blood he's shed for you.

he won't say anything, if you see him get you water after you nearly faint from mental and physical exhaustion, no you didn't. if you saw him undo the bandages on your arms from training and replace them with new fresh ones, you're delusional. If you saw him stalking your family's socials and calling someone to leak their crimes, shhh, don't tell.

----

"I mean, yeah, you kinda are."

Was his genuine first thought.

I mean, what do you want him to say? that your quirk doesn't determine your worth, like what?

and darling, when I say correct him, I mean correct him, please correct him. Please look dead into his eyes and say "I'm not useless!". for when I say it will escalate, trust me it will Escalate.

this boy has never had a true friend, and on top of that, he was teased as a child for, well being him. So the moment he gets a friend, his heart will swell, for once he feels cherished, and my poor boy, he doesn't show it correctly.

he's just so happy to finally have someone to talk to and joke around with, but doesn't realize just yet what is a joke and what is not. so he'll keep pushing it, it supposedly is an "inside joke" so he'll keep doing it.

So please correct him! tell him that it hurts, and tell him lightly to not risk breaking his heart.

Because he wants to make you happy, he can't stand the fact that you go quiet whenever he calls you quirkless, and that you're progressively distancing yourself more and more. And believe me when I say, it's painful for the both of you.

Please be his friend, and please let him make you happy correctly, you are just so perfect, we can't have such a perfect thing so sad now can we?

---

yeah, done admist some weird shit, and did I mention that I'm a horrible writer?

[starreyblueberry]

Hiii star! I love ur Headcanons/ideas for Timmy! He’s so adorable and my whole childhood <3

I need more of em :>

WAIT HOLY SHIT UR THE ONE OMORI FAIRLY ODD PARENTS ARTIST?? BROO I LOVE UR AU SO MUCH!! I have a BUNCH of silly head canons and ideas in my heard for Timmy :D

- Timmy is actually a smart kid, he’s able to figure out stuff rather quickly and is very quick on his feet, he just deals with mildly severe ADHD ^_^ (he just like me FR)

- Timmy couldn’t decide on a major and kept switching between them during his first 2 years of college

- Timmy’s room becomes more and more decorated with memorials from his adventures that could pass as stuff he got from the store

- Timmy’s closest also had to be expanded with how much stuff Timmy had from his adventures

- Timmys Time skooter used to be one of the only ways to time travel outside of Father Time (basically it was a secret item Timmy had that he only used for emergency’s)

- Timmy LOVES skateboarding and Rollerskating when he’s a teenager, he feels like he’s flying with his fairies.

- Timmy didn’t get his license until he was 18, as he crashed the car a few times at first.

- His most common wish is usually summoning toys or gadgets for Peri/poof to play with

- Timmy always lists Peri as his little brother in assignments that tell you to make a family tree

- Timmy was the only godkid allowed to dimension-hop

- Jimmy neutron and Timmy turner stay in touch as the years go by, staying close as they valued each others friendship greatly. (until one day Timmy stops messaging Jimmy when he turns 18? What’s that all about.)

- Timmy’s considered a peace maker across the galaxy, and also has a bounty on his head for millions of dollars in whatever space currency there is

- He starts his own video game club, trixie uses her disguise to play sometimes and Timmy doesn’t mind her

- Timmy learns how to deal with fairy hair so that he can help Peri and Wanda with different hairstyles (and sometimes Cosmo but he usually just keeps it down)

- As Timmy gets older he and Jorgen actually meet outside of when he’s in trouble and offer each other advise sometimes or just hang out. And also to tell the other when the universe is ending but who gaf

- Timmy starts becoming really fond of sitcoms since most of them feature found family

- Timmy starts learning how to draw and has a dedicated sketchbook just for his adventures with his fairy fam, so that he had some way to see everything it after his memories were erased

- Timmy gave his Pink hat to peri on his 18th birthday, it’s collecting dust on Peris Bookshelf right now

- Timmy tried to play match maker with his friends as he got older which resulted in a stern talking to from Cupid

- Timmy is a horrible cook until he turns 18, and actually tries for once cause he dosent have much to do anymore

- Timmy is a bit obnoxious with his music taste sometimes (Name 5 My chemical romance songs rn 🙄) (he means well and gets over it)

- Timmy listens to a lot of Midwest emo, and hyperpop. No one likes listening to his playlists cause of the drastic whiplast the change in songs is sometimes

- Timmy wishes less and less as he gets older but he always needs Cosmo and Wanda, just for their bond. He always goes to them for advice

- Timmy sucks ass at sports, he still tries though but sometimes he will fake being sick so he can sit out of gym

- the day before Timmy turned 18 was the time he used the most wishes (aka trying to find loopholes)

- Timmy started to have an appreciation for sea creatures that never faded away as he grew up

- I MISS TIMMY TURNERRRRR 😭😭😭😭

[amityahasfanartnowapparently]

That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy - Chapter 8 - Amity Ax - (INTRO ONLY)

Hello! Chapter 8 is still very very VERY much in progress, but I got inspired to release the first two pages early. Think of it as an early holiday present :D

If you'd rather save it for when the whole chapter is out on ao3, DON'T look under the cut ;)

Also DISCLAIMER: this intro is liable to change at some point while I'm editing everything else. And consider all the tags in my fic applicable to this post too. You've been warned.

DroidBoy6969:

ok, like, I get why everybody is talking about the tits. I really do. don’t get me wrong, they’re great tits!! but that ass needs some appreciation too! Just LOOK at it! the MUSCLES, the ROUNDNESS, the TIGHT AS KARK PANTS—it has EVERYTHING

TallMannSpotted:  @DroidBoy6969 YESSS I want to be those pants <3 <3 <3

whats_love090992:  @DroidBoy69 if this is a non-tits appreciation post, I’d like to give an honorable mention to the arms and back. Hot damn. I want him to pick me up and snap me in half like a 2x4. And that v-line in the front… *chef’s kiss* Perfect. Phenomenal. Breathtaking.

xXx_R4nc0rD3str0y3r_xXx: @DroidBoy6969 get out of here butt boy this is a tit-man only site!!!!

[See 21938451 more replies]

Unfortunately_YourMother:

everyone unfollow me right now this is going to be the only thing I’m gonna post about from now on. fuck. shit. Ohmygawdzzz

kenobis_glistening_abs444:

HUGE W for the war effort that this absolute UNIT be out here serving the people, if u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

KittyqueeN:

No joke, I just clocked out for like an hour watching this guy run on repeat. the kriffing bounce is like… hypnotic. Literal drool down my face rn. I can feel the heft of those bonkers in my SOUL

dontlookatme.:

b…boobies…

cock_expert_420001:

Look, I’ll pay any amount, PLEASE more content like this @TheRepublic. I could feel myself becoming roughly 50% more patriotic just watching this compilation

ZDprofessional:

YESSS YES YES YEEEAAAS!!! OHHH MY GODS. OH MY GODDSSS BROOOOO!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I ALSDGJDkjfifherALSDGJKHAG GRRRRRR!!!!! GRRRARRAARRRGRGRG! BRGRGRGRaaaAAAAAARRAR!GGRRGAA! I’M CRAZZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY. YOU HAVE NO IDEAA YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!! sorry ok. I’m normal now. cool tits.

NautilaRulz:  @ZDprofessional Dude.

TiLeavesComments:  @ZDprofessional somebody get this fine gentlebeing some water. they’re about to die of Thirst

RyurayguYuhahyrrararr:  @ZDprofessional rabies core

[See 103020 more replies]

H00tH00tMutherfarker:

I can’t believe this is real. What are they FEEDING this one to make knockers like that??? He’s got some Enormous Boobs. Absolutely Perfect Pecs. A Rockin’ Pair of Hooters. A Prize-Winning Set of Black Melons. Some Tasty Teats. A Couple of Family-Sized Milk Jugs. Some Bountiful Baps. Some Gorgeous Gazoingas…[read more]

JustSomeGuy:

Listen, I get that everybody is horny about this, but I’d like to say that this trooper is like, actually NUTS. I went back to the OG video and timed it, he was in a dead sprint for like a full HOUR. The next time you’re out of breath climbing the stairs, remember this man’s existence and weep in shame. 

NotMyOrder:

Clones really do be built different…

Drgahamne14156994:

Hello, I’m Dr. Garm Hamne. I’m a doctor from Corellia and earn 600k annually. I’m looking for a sugar baby who…[read more]

TheCommenterrrrrr:

Screaming crying throwing up I need him to choke me

FoShadeDingKing!!:

Damn where do I gotta go to spend the night with one of those

RRoller:

This is fake. You bantha-brained morons are falling for a government plant. This has sphotoshop written all over it.

N3varG0naGiv3:  @RRoller It’s OK bro, just count backwards from 10 while you inhale the copium. It’ll be over in a snap :)

U_Up?:  @RRoller because that’s what I’D do if I was trying to sphotoshop a government-approved thirst trap into looking so good it brainwashes the minds of millions. I’d make the trooper running laps in the back of the vid busty enough to belong in an art museum instead of using editing magic to make the group of buff, sweaty men duking it out in the foreground look like living gods. what a totally reasonable conclusion you’ve come to 

Nvr_Gn4_Letudwn:  @RRoller bruh just grow up and admit you wanna fuck him so bad it makes you looks stupid XD

[See 348079 more replies]

[thebunnednun]

Whispers of the Heart Dracule Mihawk x Fm! Reader (Part 1)

I could eat this fucking man up with a golden spoon.

Art by @xuchuan25 I hope you don't mind I really love your artwork!

ITS FINALLY GETTING POSTED

You've been Dracule Mihawk's personal maid and housekeeper for what feels like an eternity. Let's cut to the chase – you're a badass, sweetheart. Sexy, cool, and confident, with a reputation that precedes you. Been friends with the stoic man for eons by now.

Everyone knows you or knows of you, and it's not just because you keep Mihawk's castle running like a well-oiled machine.

So what happens when you develop feelings for your old friend and boss?

What does he do when he comes home to find you in his room without your panties?

__________________Chapter 1: Veiled Emotions___________________

You've been Dracule Mihawk's personal maid and housekeeper for what feels like an eternity. Let's cut to the chase – you're a formidable force, with a demeanor that's as captivating as it is commanding. Sexy, cool, and confident, your reputation precedes you wherever you go. It's not just because you keep Mihawk's castle running like a well-oiled machine; it's because you're a legend in your own right.

You and Mihawk share a history that stretches back to the tumultuous days of your youth, when you roamed the seas as a pirate queen. Despite the allure of power and prestige, you turned down an invitation to be a warlord, realizing that it wasn't the path for you. Sure, you could bring anyone to their knees with ease, but you craved something more than mere conquest.

Don’t get it twisted, you could still fight with one arm tied behind your back and you kept a blade on you at all times. But you wanted to live your life and until you figured out what to do, you were on hiatus. You wanted adventure, companionship, and a sense of purpose beyond just being a good pirate. So, you took a pause from piracy, sending your crew back home with ample spoils and staying in touch through letters that serve as a testament to your leadership.

(Who can blame them? Good bosses are hard to come by!~)

As for you, you couldn’t bear the idea of sailing alone aimlessly through the grandline. What would be the point if there was no one there to share it? It would kill your love of adventure and you’d capsize your own ship before that ever happened.

You also saw the way the world was slowly going to shit and just needed a break. Over time, as a favor to your old friend, you began to take over the castle duties while he was out, handling everything from the cleaning to the paperwork with effortless grace.

You’ve been at it for about three years now.

Mihawk was a very particular man and at the same time he wasn’t. Old eagle eyes likes his wine just so and his jackets to be put away according to color. But he won’t play the worlds game on anyone else's terms but his own. That, you both have in common.

As for the warlord incident, your notoriety stemmed from an encounter with the infamous battle ax Morgan. His bruised ego led to a reckless attempt to have you arrested after you turned down his advances and refused to entertain his delusions of an exclusive relationship. Morgan couldn't handle rejection, especially from a woman as striking as you. However, you swiftly dealt with the situation, turning the tables on him in a manner that became the stuff of legends among pirates and marines alike.

In retaliation for his embarrassment, Morgan unleashed a storm of accusations, plastering your face on wanted posters across every marine outpost. Your captivating appearance, with your (H/c) locks and (E/c) eyes, only served to amplify the fervor surrounding your bounty. Despite the chaos that ensued, you stood your ground, refusing to let Morgan's vendetta dictate your fate.

It was during this tumultuous time that Mihawk extended a lifeline, offering you a sanctuary within the walls of his castle.

Having just laid off your crew, this job offered you somewhere to stay and he could provide some sort of protection while you figured things out. All in all, it was a very sweet deal.

But beneath the surface of this professional arrangement, there are tensions simmering tensions of the sexy variety. You've noticed Mihawk's lingering stares when he believes you're not watching, and felt the subtle brush of his touch as you pass each other in the grand halls of his castle.

And yet, despite the undeniable chemistry between you, neither of you has dared to act on your feelings. After all, you're the maid, and he's the master of the castle. But as the days go by and the tension between you reaches its boiling point, you find yourself wondering how much do you and your boss really care for each other?

Whether it's a late-night encounter in the dimly lit corridors of the castle or a trip to the market in the bustling streets of the nearby town, each moment serves as a reminder of the unspoken bond that exists between you. The man could live in silence if he wanted to.

But you would miss that lovely deep voice.

On a crisp morning, as Mihawk made his way through the halls of his castle, he couldn't help but notice you weren't bustling about, but your vibrant laughter was echoing through the corridors. oon, he found himself standing in the doorway of the kitchen, where you were engrossed in the task of sorting through a stack of mail, undoubtedly from your former crew members.

With a pen poised in one hand, you worked with practiced efficiency, your every movement is a testament to your grace. Across from you, a forgotten cup of coffee awaited, a silent companion to your morning routine and some left over pie from last nights dinner.

"[Name], do try to be more discreet with your antics," Mihawk remarked, amusement lacing his tone as he observed your playful demeanor. You turned to face him, a mischievous glint dancing in your eyes as you met his gaze.

"Oh, but where's the fun in that, 'Master' Mihawk?" you retorted, a playful smirk gracing your lips. Today, you were adorned in a cute black top paired with low-rise flared acid wash jeans, the lace crosses on the back pockets adding a touch of sexy to your ensemble.

Your ears sparkled with golden hoops and diamond studs, a testament to your bold sense of style. Around your neck, a delicate chain held a gold and slider cross, a thoughtful gift from Mihawk himself. Your fingers were adorned with an array of rings, each one a testament to your unique personality and taste.

With a touch of sparkly nude eyeshadow and deep pink lip gloss, you exuded an air of effortless beauty. Even your nails, with their French tip design and hints of pink and sage green, spoke to your attention to detail and love for all things glamorous.

Look, you’re an ex-pirate but still a pirate. You like gold, okay!

Mihawk couldn't suppress a subtle eye-roll at your retort, his stoic demeanor momentarily softened by your infectious energy. Despite the playful banter, there lingered a mutual respect in your exchange, a testament to the genuine friendship that had developed between you.

Of course, he certainly didn't allow his thoughts to wander to the sensation of your lips against his skin, despite the tempting notion.

His eyes totally didn’t flick over your lips and wonder what it would have felt like to have your sticky kisses decorate his body.

Instead, he held his typical emotionless expression and took a seat across from you. Looking at the counter he noticed you only had coffee and leftover pie for breakfast.

“Not very hungry, my dear?”

You waved your hand dismissively, eyes glued to the letter before you. “I felt kind’ve sick last night. But don't worry, Perona had a proper breakfast.” You and his young ward had become instant friends when you first arrived. She was happy to have some real company and you even gave her a key to your chambers for emergencies and late night cookies.

Mihawk acknowledged your words with a subtle nod before returning his attention to the newspaper in his hands. It was a habitual gesture that never failed to amuse you, considering his apparent disinterest in the affairs of others. Yet, despite his indifference, he maintained the routine with unwavering consistency.

As his intense gaze bore into your face, you deliberately focused on the task at hand, busying yourself with another letter and the remnants of your pie. Ordinarily, the weight of his stare might have unsettled someone, but you recognized that beneath the facade of the "greatest swordsman in the world" lay a man with his own quirks and idiosyncrasies, much like anyone else.

Spooning another bite of your pie, your cheeks offered a very pleasant rosy glow in the early morning light. When you arrived at Kuraigana Castle, you told Mihawk to ditch the darkness. Straight up refused to live in the depressing atmosphere and threatened to throw out his old dusty ass curtains if he didn’t get his shit together. Mihawk had initially resisted the changes but told you to do as you pleased when you threatened to give him and Shanks matching arms.

(That would be some Naruto and Sasuke shit right there.)

However, he was all the more glad to see your features in the light. You weren’t unbearable to his feelings either. You respected that he needed some shade and allowed the dining room to have a night blend of night. The whole of the castle was like that now with some areas being bright and cheerful and others more dark and deserted. Even Perona gravitated towards the lighter rooms to find you cleaning or simply wanting your attention.

In the quiet moments between your duties, you find yourself reflecting on the depth of your connection with Mihawk. You remember the countless times he's shown you kindness, the way he's trusted you with the inner workings of his castle, and the rare glimpses of vulnerability he's allowed you to see. And as you ponder these memories, you can't help but wonder if there's more to your relationship than meets the eye.

The man truly does value his space. Even when you would bump into old friends like a certain clown he insisted you did not swap addresses for the sake of, "That Blue haired freak," not popping up unannounced. Or how he'd always been close by when you were teenagers and running rampant with a red haired young man. The times where he would escort you to social events only to slip away with you before the party was over. It was him offering you a place to stay after becoming a wanted woman for crimes you did not commit.

Moments where you found yourself bathed in the golden warmth of his eyes.

But just as you begin to contemplate the possibilities, your mind intervenes once again. Flashing you back to a few months ago. It was a frigid winter evening when you found yourself ensconced in the castle's library, surrounded by the flickering glow of candlelight and the comforting scent of weathered tomes. The air hummed with an unspoken tension, each movement you made sending ripples of awareness through the stillness.

Winter was always harsh on you, coming from an island that never really subscribed to the notion of cold weather. You were more built for tropical weather and humid conditions. Where on one side of your island it could be raining and the other could be sunny and dry. You'd never even seen snow before until you set out as a young pirate.

The old castle was too large to light fires in all the rooms, so it made more sense to keep them limited to the common areas like the kitchens, drawing room, your bed chambers, and (of course) the library.

You were laying in the warlords lap, actually. A thick book in his hand and a left over crossword puzzle in yours. Every now and then, he would softly stroke your spine as if you were a freighted cat. You'd taken to curling up like this out of habit and because of your dislike of cold weather.

Mihawk loves personal space but you'd taken to perching on him for years. If you asked to rest your head on his shoulder, he would respond with a soft hum of agreement, though he pretended not to notice as you snuggled closer, seeking the warmth of his embrace.

Even at social gatherings, you had no qualms about stretching out your legs across his lap, feeling his big, strong hands gently resting on them for all to see. And if luck was on your side, he might even share a dance with you, his presence grounding you and filling you with a sense of contentment amidst the chaos of the party.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Mihawk breaks the silence, his voice a low, husky murmur cutting through the quiet. "You know," he begins, his words carrying a weight of sincerity, "I've always admired your compassion and resilience."

His unexpected admission catches you off guard, your breath hitching momentarily as you process his words. Gathering your composure, you respond in kind, your voice a mere whisper against the backdrop of the library's hushed ambiance. "And I've always admired your grace and composure, Master Mihawk."

For an instant, the air between you crackles with an electric energy, the unspoken truths hanging palpably in the space between you. As if drawn by an invisible force, you sit a little taller, the weight of the moment pressing down upon you. Then, without warning, Mihawk reaches out, his hand enveloping yours in a gentle grasp.

A rush of warmth floods through your veins at his touch, a silent reassurance amidst the quietude of the library. His thumb traces soothing circles on the back of your hand, a gesture both comforting and intimate, before he releases you, returning to his book as if nothing had transpired.

You 'playfully' bit his large thigh over that.

Moments like that with Mihawk were rare but not uncommon somehow. You were always respected by him for your personal strength and reliance. Mihawk respected dedication and honor. You had a multitude of qualities he secretly liked, not that you were fully aware, anyway.

His voice intruded on this memory to snap you back to the present.

"Perhaps it's time we ceased this dance, [Name]," he murmurs, his gaze smoldering with a flicker of desire. "Perhaps it's time we embraced what has lingered between us all this while."

Your heart quickens its pace within your chest as you lock eyes with him, a whirlwind of thoughts cascading through your mind. In that pivotal moment, teetering on the edge of something unknown and exhilarating, you recognize the undeniable bond that binds you to Mihawk—a connection that defies the constraints of social hierarchy and ignites with an intensity that cannot be suppressed.

Or so you envisioned, until he swiftly swipes the last piece of your pie and runs from the kitchens, prompting you to vault over the counter in a spirited attempt to stab his trachea with your fork as he began running down the hallway.

“I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT, ASS-EYES!”

Making to the stairs, Mihawk closed his eyes and let out a soft hum before delving into his (your) pie, savoring each bite with a sense of contentment. Your presence offered a refreshing reprieve from the weighty responsibilities that burdened him, your playful banter injecting a lighthearted energy into the morning. You trying to stab him was thought of affectionately, as well.~

What a delightful breakfast it was within the walls of Castle Kuraigana!

Later, as Mihawk retreated to his chambers, a persistent curiosity lingered within him, tugging at the corners of his mind. What was it about you that captivated him so, he wondered? And why did your essence linger in his thoughts long after you had disappeared from his sight?

Lost in contemplation, Mihawk was roused from his reverie by a soft murmur that drifted through the open window, drawing his gaze downwards. There, he spied you and Perona engaged in conversation, your voices carrying on the breeze.

"...and I heard that he's quite taken with someone," Perona remarked mischievously, casting a glance towards the castle. The pair strolled through the tall grass grounds hand in hand, a scene that elicited a faint smile from Mihawk. He could tell from your firm steps that you had decided to go barefoot. Your quirks never failed to amuse him.

In the spring and summer, you had a steadfast refusal to wear anything other than cute heeled sandals or durable tennis shoes. This wasn't just a matter of practicality; it was a reflection of your upbringing on an island where both children and adults embraced the freedom of going barefoot during the hot months. The fact that Mihawk effortlessly recalled these details about you spoke volumes about the depth of his observations, even if he didn't consciously realize it.

Unconsciously, he found himself craning his neck so you may take up his vision.

As Perona guided you through the tall grass, she paused at a patch of wild daisies, prompting a soft chuckle to escape your lips. Your gaze drifted into the distance as you replied, "Well, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

Mihawk felt a sudden skip in his typically cold heart at your words, a glimmer of hope stirring within him. Could it be that you harbored feelings for him as well? The mere thought sent a rush of warmth through his veins, fueling his resolve to uncover the truth behind your feelings.

With a newfound determination, Mihawk silently vowed to delve deeper into the enigma of your emotions, eager to unravel the mysteries of your heart.

______________________________________________________________

Part 2: Posted Here Part 3: Posted Here

Part 4: Right here baby!~

Part 5 now posted.

The coffee and leftover pie part are a nod to Laufys ,"Let you break my heart again," give it a listen as it goes well with the story.

This is also posted on the a03 account by the same name. A new update post will also be out tomorrow regarding updates and new stories.

Please check out my other works and leave likes and comments, they really help. Drop a follow as well if you please.

Seen you soon my loves!!~ <<33

[npdzane]

Hiiiii, could you explain you npd Zane hc to me? As someone who lives with a narcissist, I’m very interested.

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT!!!!!! FOR SO LONG!!!!!!

Tw I think bc ik i will be mentioning sh. But only for a sentence or two.

Mostly just "he's just like me fr". I get how it can sound confusing, especially as a lot of people tend to see Zane as the opposite of what a (stereotypical) narcissist would act like, so I'll try to explain in a way that makes sense.

I'm going to list off traits I see in him, and then what caused it and how it developed over time. Starting with the traits.

- Pixal is 100% his fp. I don't think there's anything to say about it that hasn't been said already. You don't just give a girl half your heart because you "like her a little" without having some issues.

- "Be envious of others/believe others are envious of them". He stated himself that he envied Kai. He also has moments where he does things that make him look better than others ("I personally find old video games to be unchallenging", something about his tone when he was saying "being a nindroid, I wont be able to be digested.", he also just does a lot of random flips and shit when its not needed?? That part may be a stretch though.).

- "Withdrawal from situations where they may fail." In Quest for the Lost Powers, he almost quits out of fear that he won't be able to face the Ice Emperor without breaking down. He also tends to tell someone they shouldn't do something because the chance of failing is too high.

- "Feeling depressed or moody over not reaching perfection/secretly feeling insecure, shameful, and humiliation and fearing being exposed as a failure" In s4, he panics over feeling like he'll always be just a replica of the original Zane. He's desperately begging Pixal to save him from said panic too (which fits into the last trait). He still has similar fears to this day, feeling like being seen as just a robot takes away from his original design. Meaning he failed at fitting in, which was always his goal.

- "Have trouble interacting with others and easily feel sighted" in the entirety of S1-3, he struggles HEAVILY to talk to the others. Granted this does get better throughout the series, but it's getting bad again it seems. He often goes on solo missions or stays in the monastery/Destiny's Bounty. I personally think it's because he feels the others don't see him as vital to the team as they should, or he believes he doesn't need help with anything from anyone (but Pixal). The point is there is some sense of "they don't appreciate me enough".

- "React with rage or contempt to try to belittle others to make them appear superior". Again, bringing back the "I find older video games to be non challenging" quote. As well as the fact that every time Pixal is obviously very annoyed by him, he ignores her and carries on with what he thinks is the right idea (Detective/Pirate Zane obviously was a bad idea, but noooo Zane can't be wrong ever). He doesn't react with rage as much (at least not openly), however he does ignore people when he's doubted.

Ok! That's not as much as I thought! A few other things I wanted to point out, although these are also headcanons:

- His self esteem is TERRIBLE.

- What he believes he doesn't make up for in battle, training, etc, he tries to make up for in smarts and hobbies to impress people.

- He bases his opinions on people based on assumptions. For example, he'll assume everything about a person's personality and hobbies (sometimes even their skill level at those hobbies) based on first impressions. So, say he meets someone like Jay who seems very excited about something he doesn't like, his first assumption will be "this person is most likely annoying and a waste of time because they're trying to be as good as me, that's not egotistical that's just an observation. Everyone complimenting them is simply lying to them.".

- He refuses to believe any of his flaws are his fault, sure he can say he has flaws but they're all someone else's fault. It's never just how he is, it's always because "someone caused me to act like this".

- He switches between "I'm literally amazing I'm so smart I'm funny I'm good at everything" to "Everyone hates me for no reason I dont deserve any of this they're all terrible awful people" and then again to "I'm not good enough yet I need to push myself more so they'll see I'm better than they think". All because of a small bit of criticism. He absolutely cannot handle criticism. ("Why are you doubting me!? I'm a nindroid!" <- when Kai tried helping him, "Not now Pixal!" <- when Pixal told him trying to out-smart Nadakhan was a bad idea)

- I think him and Pixal argue a LOT. It's why I don't openly ship pixane. I believe ever since he found out she was Samurai X his trust issues got way worse (While he is easily trusting, once he does trust someone it's hard to not break it). He constantly uses their "no more secrets" promise agaisnt her, and he thinks that no matter what she or anyone else tells him, the probability of her keeping something from him is high, and he has to stop it (even if it means being extra clingy, possessive, and controling). But the other ninja somehow haven't noticed this from them, they just believe it's normal couple banter.

Sorry, like I said, this headcanon is coming out of my ass. Now I can talk about what caused it.

I see Dr. Julien as a good father to Zane, just not the best one. Like he's at the lower end of average. Not abusive so to speak, just overly critical and slightly neglectful. Zane's a robot, so why can't he do the things Dr. Julien tells him to do well enough! Julien accidentally made him too similar to the (daughter..ftm moment.) son he wanted, so similar that it turns out Zane needed the same amount of attention and support an actual child would've needed, which Julien didn't account for. Zane was used to only receiving the bare minimum of those two by s1. Unfortunately the bare minimum is far from enough. Not to mention the isolation he had to live through living in Birchwood, far from the village.

I think what we see as OG Zane is basically his child/early teen stage. Anything past s4 is late teen/adult, which is when his symptoms started showing up more. The other ninja, especially Wu, noticed he was starting to cling to Pixal much more (especially since she was in his mind). He'd also start spending more time on hobbies and things to impress people. Thinking if they thought his new self was better than his old self, he wouldn't be seen as a failed replica of the original Zane. He thought he could hide the fact it was all just to look better than everyone else, but either Kai or Cole picked up on it (Kai because he acts similarly in that way, and Cole because he's usually the first to notice things wrong with Zane.). When they showed their concern, Zane only saw it as motivation to try harder and them trying to take Pixal from him.

After the Never Realm, his self esteem and worth went to absolute shit. Not only was he abused and manipulated, he was at fault for the deaths of thousands.

But worst of all, he let himself be abused. Or at least that's what he believes (the Quest for the Lost Powers also confirms this!). He blames himself massively. How could he let himself fall for that? Why didn't he fully cover up the cave to stop threats from coming in? Why didn't he kill Vex when he got his memories back? Why did he let Vex control him? Isn't he supposed to be perfect? How could someone who claims to be perfect let himself slip up like that?

He definitely started to push himself more after coming back. In training, in battle, with maintaining the monastery, with cooking for the others, hobbies, you get the point. He'd completely forgotten to be patient with himself while trying to gain control over his powers and his life again. Meaning the next time he tried to use them in training, they were out of control and he ended up failing and hurting himself. But how? How could he not be perfect if he was trying as hard as he could? If he was programmed to be the best, why isn't he?

Pixal was also starting to get annoyed with Zane, he was way too attached and she knew that. It made her fall out of love, if there was any in the first place. Zane refused to let her separate from him though, especially since there was still the idea that she was keeping things from him. He believed Pixal didn't think he was worth caring about, causing him to purposely make himself worse in hopes her pity will keep her with him. He'd already been struggling with self harm, but now it was as a punishment for failing as well as a way to get Pixal not to leave (See why I don't ship them now?). I would love to talk about how I think he s/h but it'd take another post.

Now that Pixal is gone, he's getting way worse mentally. Which is why he seems like he's not working as well as usual (in the tournament). It's not like he's not trying anymore, it's that he hasn't let himself rest enough for his efforts to work.

That was way less than i expected to say (⁠･⁠o⁠･⁠;⁠). Anyway! Yeah!!! It is just mainly headcanons, but if Zane were confirmed to have some kind of personality disorder in a different world where ninjago isn't for tiny kids I wouldn't be surprised!!!

TY TY TY TY FOR ASKING IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO YAP ABOUT THIS. 😭😭😭😭

[starlightshadowsworld]

I got asked earlier what my thoughts are on the Mori is Atsushi’s dad theory. And personally I don’t buy into it (full breakdown is here incase anyone’s curious.)

But I find it an interesting idea and wanted to play around with it. So here’s my concept for what if Mori was Atsushi’s dad.

Mori knew he’d need a successor for when he took over the Port Mafia. It’d be easier for it to be his own heir. But he wasn’t exactly jazzed about having a baby to look after.

As time went on tho Mori did develop a bond with Atsushi. He wouldn’t call it love but he did feel some affection for him. A feeling that definitely grew when Atsushi manifested a powerful ability.

At first as far as Mori knew, it was simply to turn into a tiger. Which in enough itself was impressive. But that Atsushi got into an accident (as babies do) but miraculously his ability seemed to heal his wounds.

Upon closer inspection Mori realises it wasn’t quite regeneration. But reversion, bringing him back to his original state and thus no longer being injured (same analysis Yosano makes in season 1.)

Definitely does has a “of course he has a powerful ability, he is my son after all” moment. And things would’ve stayed mostly peaceful until the Great war. Mori ends up heading off and has enough sense not to bring his 4 year old with him (but bringing an 11 year old is clearly fine.)

And so Atsushi is left in the care of his mother. Mori and her aren’t together, they are amicable and only really interact if it concerns Atsushi. She’s even dating another man, a cute Russian man who offers to look after her son when an emergency comes up.

One he is directly responsible for because ✨surprise ✨ it’s Fyodor. He takes Atsushi to a far away orphanage, weaving a story about a poor child he found in a bin. Atsushi’s mum is horrified when she comes home, and turns out Fyodor was in disguise and using a fake name.

And because there was a whole thing about the northern lights in the Great War causing emp waves (or something), the phone service is shit and Mori doesn’t find out until he returns. He doesn’t exactly take the news well.

It’s then that Natsume reveals to him what the book is and Atsushi’s connection to it. Saying he didn’t say anything prior because he wanted to be completely sure. And had he known this man was after Atsushi he would have. Mori’s not exactly happy but he understands.

This whole thing only fuels his desire to be PM Boss. Knowing he’ll gain the resources to locate his son. Life carries on and Mori sits on the throne of the PM. The only people who knew of his son were Dazai and Chuuya, and Mori tells them at the same time.

When Chuuya is lashing out in Mori’s office about what he’s lost to the old Boss Mori says he understands. He understands how it feels to lose everything you hold dear, but also to rise above and take control. “I had a son. He was stolen from me, and I will rake this earth until I find him alive.”

When Chuuya joins he says something like “when the day comes you find a lead. I will do everything in my power to bring your son back to you.”

That lead would come 6 years later when a bounty for a tiger is given to the PM. And Mori freezes at the sight of its eyes, he’d know those eyes anywhere.

Everyone’s confused as to why the bounty isn’t being taken, except for Chuuya who puts two and two together. Akutagawa is instructed to bring the weretiger back.

But under no circumstances is he to hurt him. This goes out the window once Atsushi joins the Agency and Dazai, while captured purposefully riles up Akutagawa. Because he realised Atsushi’s identity and won’t let Mori take him.

Things carry on, Akutagawa’s on thin fucking ice as is Kouyou but things go on.

Atsushi and Mori still meet in Anne’s Room. Atsushi thinks he looks familiar and Mori pretends he doesn’t know him. And gives him advice, he’s curious to see what his son has grown into. And also doesn’t want their reunion to take place here.

Mori is also more open to a truce even if he doesn’t accept it right away, especially when learning it was Atsushi’s idea.

Atsushi doesn’t learn the truth until Dead Apple. He doesn’t take it well but learns to accept himself. Akutagawa gives him a good tongue lashing for not telling him and the Agency accepts Atsushi.

Atsushi and Mori don’t meet properly until the Cannibalism arc, truly wonderful timing. He feels guilty for worrying about Mori. Speaking of, Mori finally learns Fyodor’s the one who stole Atsushi, after being stabbed by him.

There’s really no easy way to break it to Atsushi that the Agency are going to kill his dad. He’s against it (even more so than in canon) and wants to try and find a different solution. But after the lead is a failure, all Atsushi asks is if he can at least say goodbye.

His friends grant him that at least.

Atsushi walks up to PM headquarters to Chuuya who stops the goons from trying to shoot him.

Atsushi: Do you know who I am?

Chuuya: The Agencies Weretiger?

Atsushi: Not that. It’s…About your Boss.

Chuuya: So you found out. Yeah, what about it?

Atsushi: I want to see him. I don’t know what’ll happen but, I know this might be my last chance.

Chuuya passes a message on, gets the okay and sends a goon with Atsushi to go up. “And kid, for what it’s worth. He’s missed ya.”

Mori is sat up in bed and sends Kouyou out. It’s awkward at first but Mori doesn’t seem phased by it. Asking how Atsushi is and sharing old stories.

Atsushi getting emotional because he was told he was abandoned. Mori firmly remarking that he wasn’t, that Mori scoured the country and than some for him.

That he was missed, dearly.

Atsushi saying that he wished they had more time. And that he’s trying to find a different solution, giving a teary smile when Mori comments he truly did take after him. Mori has no doubt he’ll survive this but simply says he has faith in Atsushi.

If he says theres a solution where everyone survives then there will be. And that when it comes they should get dinner, whatever he likes.

“Do you still love chazuke?”

“It’s my favourite.”

“Mine too. Chazuke it is then.”

Atsushi leaves with hesitation and the assassination plot kicks off and fails. The rest of the plan is carried out and the end has Atsushi and Mori eating chazuke together at a restaurant.

Atsushi knows what kind of man Mori is, but he’s also his dad. He knows he cares in his own way and wouldn’t hurt him. And they are allies currently.

Chuuya goes back for Atsushi during the rescue and finds he’s missing. Which gives Mori a heart attack until he realises Atsushi snuck out with Kyouka and made a deal with Fitzgerald.

Does he wish Atsushi came to him? Yes, though he does understand Atsushi’s reasoning and touched he didn’t want to drag the PM into this (oh dear boy we were involved when you got dragged into it.)

Also doesn’t appreciate Fitzgerald manipulating his son.

Things go on, worlds saved until it isn’t and Mori gets up to greet Atsushi. And for the first time, hugs him. Atsushi breaks down and Mori tells him this will all be fixed.

That damn rat had taken too much from Atsushi, he wouldn’t take anymore. Ability or not, Mori would find a way to kill him if he tried. He couldn’t even be happy at having his son in his rightful home.

Fyodor was going to pay dearly.

[greyskyflowers]

Soft Zoro brought to you today by greyskyflowers

Yes, hello. I have decided that I will not rest until the world has more soft Zoro.

I'll start with this.

Zoro is not soft.

For the sake of this I'm going to run with the whole tiger vibes Zoro thing.

Tigers are friend shaped. They have the cutest little ears and they're so pretty that I just want to squish their little faces up and call them baby. It's a tragedy that I will not be able to do this. It's also a tragedy that if I ever get a chance to squish a tiger's little face up and call it baby that I will die happy as soon as I try to do so.

I love when I see videos of caretakers for wildlife being reunited with the animals they once helped take care of. Not zoos, the perserves and sanctuaries and stuff like that.

I love it.

But...

Tigers are wild animals. I would not encourage anyone to go up to a tiger, squish it's little face and call it baby. Even those people who have the great relationship with them are alway a misstep away from being a chew toy.

To me, this is Zoro. This is what I want people to get from my stuff about soft Zoro or submissive Zoro or whatever else I spit out on here.

Soft is not weak. Submissive is not weak. Allowing yourself to be weak, is not a weakness.

A tiger is not any less of a tiger because it allows someone it knows and loves to pet it. It will take your fucking arm off if it wants to. It will kill you and then go take a nap.

Zoro is terrifying. He's strong and incredibly talented and he adapts to his environment very quickly. Him and Luffy should honestly scare the absolute shit out of people.

Plus he was a bounty hunter, and the demon stuff or whatever that is, I bet Zoro can be uncomfortable to be around. He probably has that predator vibe to him, gives you the feeling that something big and scary is watching you. Peacefully, for now, but that can very easily change.

I love the idea that Zoro is brutal and bloodthirsty and unhinged during fights.

I love the idea that he's intimidating and unnerving if you don't know him very well.

I love the idea that Zoro is none of those things with the crew.

I like him having a place where he was be relaxed, soft, open, and 100% accepted as he is.

So yeah, I want to see him napping in little puppy piles with the crew. I want to see him letting himself relax around them. I want him to let himself experience the beauty of loving someone enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable around them. I want him baring his throat and back and belly to them, comparable to a animal rolling over to show trust. A tiger showing it's belly for it's favorite humans.

Does that make him any less terrifying? Fuck no.

It should actually make him more terrifying. He is not a mindless violent entity, he is fully aware of everything and chooses to absolutely fuck people up.

There's always an awareness that he's letting them see him when he's soft. He is not the one powerless in a situation like that. At any moment he could snap at all of them and he probably has. I can very easily see him building up those walls again when someone does something stupid. Leaving the crew, fighting Luffy, or just being a dumbass.

He goes back to defensive, unsettling, distant. And that might be worse than Luffy's anger or disappointment, dealing with Zoro's distance. Especially after having it. No more naps with a always warm swordsman. No more easy affection or privilege of being one of the people to see a fully relaxed and soft Zoro. No more touches to surprisingly soft skin, and no more easily given vulnerable spots.

I said at one point that Zoro gave me tiger on a gold leash vibes and here it is.

He may call Luffy captain and follow him willingly but tame is not a word that should be used to describe Zoro.

Let him be soft and terrifying.

Let him rip apart a battle field and drop bodies like gifts at his crews feet. Let him go back home bloody and feral, and angrily headbutt them like a cat when they refuse to touch him until he's cleaned up.

Let him come back clean, blood and wildness washed off and wisked away down the drain. Let him lay over their laps, cuddle up, or anything else like that.

And someone write me a submissive Zoro fic, god damn, I'm dying over here.

[katyspersonal]

Alright Suspiciously Cheerful Katy, for that ask meme, I want THOTS on MARIKA plzzzzzz

Look at her fabulous hair ffs

THOTS on Marika, you say......

( Asks from this ( x ) meme)

Favorite thing about them:

It is really hard to point out something concrete! She is a very complex and well-written character, who has done a lot of bad and a lot of good, not to mention grandiose presence in the lore and worldbuilding! She appeared very cold and cruel through her words passed along and actions that we've learned about, but then there has also always been fixation on life, light, bounty and prosperity! I struggle to find a compromise between her war criminal oppressor side and her striving to create a warm heaven for self and others side! But maybe that's the point; big, strong, legendary, impactful figures in history always did BOTH bad and good, but become immortalised in history as just one of these dualities! When shaping history is always both creating and destroying! This is how 'shaping' works!

^^^ I like that she gives people a choice! Just like an actual idea of 'God' without being distorted; you have safety, love and purpose if you cooperate and you can choose struggle without any guidance if you want to! That some people can interpret as that "serve in heaven rule in hell" shit

^^^ I also like that she encouraged people that put faith in her to actually think! This is basically encouraging Fundamentalism which is "scholarship in all but name", but she doesn't want people to just blindly follow; she wants them to understand WHY they'd follow!

But I think above all, I like her tragedy of failing to build this perfect world and how it ends. I talked just recently about it in the post ( x ) about what was it that Gideon saw in "her will" that made him turn against everything prior, but in short: she wanted to keep the world in the state of permanent disarray, just as long as it doesn't recover and perpetuate the Golden Order.

The thing about a new Lord coming to her to be her consort and thus fixing everything? That's what Two Fingers had everyone believe and wanted, not her. :p She probably knew that she can't die by Shattering nor by a hand of a human, though maybe left a hope someone will find a way by urging Hewg to keep striving for a god-slaying weapon. But if she, and thus, Elden Ring, can't be killed, people can just stay away from it forever. That Gideon understood and we didn't and he deserves more credit for it fdshfdh

I compare her with Gwyn often, as they are the same trope of Fromsoft character: a divinity that tried to build a better world yet did a lot of evil to accomplish it and it was, tragically, corrupt by good intentions! But she did one thing he didn't: she was smart enough to know where it was going and oppose perpetuating cycle! Gwyn sacrificed himself to reignite what he gave to the world, Marika sacrificed herself to undo it! I know many people dislike this trope, as "the bad guy gets redeemed by sacrifice instead of doing a harder thing of staying alive and FIXING things they've done!", which is valid! But here it is not necessarily given as a noble act that "redeems" her, nor exposed as "cowardly" act! The narration allows us to interpret it however we want, but the real thing here: it is a human act. It was not rational or wise, but it sure was full of remorse

Basically I think I want to say, for a human, she made a pretty great God all things considered, because she was thinking about world and future and people, not just self.

Least favorite thing about them:

Her playing karma ping-pong with Hornsent and alike, for the lack of better term. 🙄 I believe that Omen curse was a direct result of the Crusade! Not even just because Grandam mentions it, it can always be a localisation error! But because it is logical: wraits, who are spirits of the dead mind you, haunting Omens, are horned! Like, yes, sure, her cruelty to the last Fire Giant and all blahblahblah, but girl what is this Omen Twins situation? They are your own children! They, and other Omens, already suffer with horrifying nightmares paying for YOUR sins, don't make it worse by either isolating them or encouraging "healing" them with heavy lethal rate procedure!

Betrayal means she was a trusted figure for them! As in, she held the power and influence enough to potentially help to gradually rid Hornsent culture of dangerous beliefs and practices! Like integrate them a bit more in the population under Erdtree that is largerly hornless, help them to see nobody is more or less divine, all that.. The cycle could have ended with HER! But she chose the grief and pain over healing (and Messmer probably amplified it, Crow I know you're dying to post that serpent theme is not incidental, you are not slick!!!)

She could have ended all this, she had the power! Why Ancient Dragons could have it but not them? We all know why: personal trauma. And yes, this is so sad, and so realistic, and I love this WRITING, but I can ALSO judge a character! Though, her actions ricocheting into whole Vengeance-Seeking Hornsent NPC's character was ALSO a good writing... argh

Favorite line:

"Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices..."

I am still not sure what is the context! Was it something she said upon already deciding on the Shattering, as foreshadowing for what infights will unravel? Or her mother skills were Just Like That, as she viewed her children first of all as tools of building a better world and being helpful powers to it, not as those living just for the heck of it? Silly, but the latter interpretation is basically a problem that existed in Disney's movie Encanto, where Alma would find a use for community in all family members with special powers but neglected the one born without any xD Anyways, badass quote no matter what was the context for it!

brOTP:

Does..... does Marika have friends? Many are either her family in one way or another or her lovers. xD I think Hewg qualifies the best, as wild as it sounds; Misbegotten are viewed as impure within her order and he speaks of her from obvious imbalanced position of reverence, but despite everything, she confided in him! It feels like a tragedy of people who were meant to be close friends but too much time was gone because of circumstances, decisions of the past which aftermaths lasted for centuries to taint everything, mistakes and absence of one of the sides (oh I wonder who... 🙄) or simply meeting too late in life. You can't tell me they didn't wish they'd met sooner / they could go back in time / whatever your interpretation is!

OTP:

I think she and Godfrey definitely deserved each other! They are a fun pair of war criminals! Marika trusts him a lot for sure! I think it was not just by being impressed by his power and fierceness as it is, but maybe something sadder, though? After learning the Shaman Village lore, I can't help but feel that she'd seek a very big and strong person capable of crashing her enemies FOR her on instinctive level. Because that terrified, defenceless girl is still somewhere deep inside.. Even past the point she herself can wield a hammer JUST fine! SHE was the one who killed Fell God, not him! :p I think he understood that and saw it not as being a tool, but on the contrary, felt honored that he could be of support.

^^^ At the same time, this line made me wonder whether Marika divested him and his warriors of grace for his sake, sort of? Even with Serosh on his back, he still values a good battle and power! I think their relationship were held on battles! When there is no enemy for them to defeat, or in most cases, for him to defeat for her sake, he would just start to wither. Passion between them likely was low when he hadn't defeated anyone recently! :p She was bitter about it, maybe thought a bit lower of him seeing that he is physically incapable of enjoying life without a good battle and her love is not enough, but knew it would be better for him and group he created to at least fight elsewhere rather than just be Standing There while things are alright!

It feels to me like relationship that can only blossom under certain circumstances, even if for an unhappy reason! They might even have conflicts; her being appalled at a person that doesn't wish peace, as someone who went through hell and wished nothing more than that, and him being weirded out at how someone wishes to stagnate when to live is to ever assert yourself. And this is valid! Conflict is healthy! Their issues meet one another the right way!

nOTP:

Again: I will know it when I see it! She makes every ship interesting and fun, it seems! ....all 3.5 ships with her that even exist lol fdhjfhd

Random headcanon:

I know that Radagon studied incantations, but I do not think these are actually his! Marika is a NERD! Her bedchamber is FULL of scrolls and scripted stone plates! She likes to study... and to preserve!

These plates and scrolls are the same that are found in Specimen Storehouse. I do not think that they are strictly connected with the research on how to recover Shamans from the jars; if anything, you'd think she gave up on it long ago, especially since Shadow Realm was severed from the Lands Between. But they are valuable knowledge and history!

I am just trying to say, she is the type to keep remnants of culture and history, including which she was responsible for destruction of. There are tanks and shields modelled after Fire Giants so people still remember the fear that evaded them, but I also think that Stormveil had Godskins' Prayerbook in it because Godrick stole it from Leyendell! Marika still preserves history, Messmer' Fire Knights still preserve history.... yeahhh, Messmer is an odd one out wishing to just burn everything down. -_-

Unpopular opinion:

I do love to compare her with Gwyn, however? The takes like "Marika is so complex and morally grey and well-written whereas Gwyn just likes genocide" AND the takes like "it is funny how Marika is just Gwyn but so much more evil and worse in every way" irritate me a bit! When they're not in a joke way! They are both very well-written, both wished for a better world yet built it on blood, both feared fire/darkness respectively, both ended up doing more harm than good despite noble intentions, and although with different purpose, both sacrificed themselves!

....and both fall for either idealisation or demonisation. As well as one being hyped above another. "Oh Gwyn was such a great character, Marika is just a bleak copy, Fromslop can never repeat the former success" vs "Oh Marika is such a huge improvement in writing, Gwyn was really bland in comparison, really just a draft for actually good character in the future".... 🤦‍♂️ Let's NOT pit the bad bitches against each other any more!!

Song I associate with them:

(It is on German, so version with English lyrics!)

Favorite picture of them:

Aside of @val-of-the-north absolutely horrible drawn memes featuring her that had me floored and screaming like a seagull ( x ) ( x ), it is this image??

I don't know who made this meme, I just had it saved somewhere and it makes me laugh so much because yes, this is exactly what playing ER is like hfdhfdshdfs

[anadrym]

Extended Author's Notes for Left Behind Ch2.

Spoilers!

I just want to clarify in case anyone is concerned: there will be NO non-con in this fic. It will be discussed/suggested but it will NOT happen, I promise.

Chapter title is from "What Have They Done to Us" from the Arcane S2 soundtrack.

I never specify where Caitlyn is living now in the chapter because it doesn't really matter and I didn't put a lot of thought into it, to be honest. It's a smaller city just inside Demacia's borders.

Caitlyn has been kinda bouncing around since the Purge. There are probably still people keeping an eye out for her (after all, they never found her body), so she's doing her best to stay under the radar. After all, it only takes one wrong person recognizing her… ;)

I made Caitlyn a bounty hunter for several reasons: 1. it's hot, 2. it fits into her established skill set as a detective and sniper, 3. it gives her a reason to return to Piltover.

I'm not overly fond of OCs; personally, I read and write fics because I love the existing characters. That said, I absolutely love Petra. She's a bitch with a heart of gold, and she's totally looking out for Caitlyn and giving her shit about it the whole time.

Caitlyn is 30 now (and Vi is 31). That means her joints pop all the time. Write what you know.

"You can call me whatever you like" is kind of a reference to the brothel scene in season 1.

Oh, I love this transition. Cait goes to bed in comfort/pleasure and Vi wakes up in pain.

I've said it before, but I'll keep saying it: this was originally going to be a "Vi gets Winter-Soldiered" fic, but it kinda turned into a "Vi gets feebleminded" fic with winter-soldier elements.

I am so pleased with the imagery of fearful panic being a rat clawing around inside your chest. I just find it so visceral, and it really feeds into the idea that Vi is torn between human thoughts (actively being surpressed) and animal instincts, and that both are overpowered by the drugs they're keeping her on.

We're going to delve more into Maintenance and what it entails later. Just know that it involves injections and is very… unpleasant.

Number 6 is absolutely to keep her from questioning her tattoo. Not that she's got the mental strength to do that right now.

Ah, the Baroness. Several of you guessed correctly: our villain is Renata Glasc. I'm going to be completely honest, everything I know about her is from her wiki page. So she may be wildly out of character. Hopefully you will find her compelling either way.

I actually wrote out a lot of the conversation between the Baroness and her guests, but scrapped it because Vi wouldn't understand it so soon after a Maintenance session. It ended up being obsolete anyway.

The Baroness calls Vi to this meeting for two reasons: 1. Vi is well-known as Sheriff Caitlyn Kiramman's partner, and having her is an absolute display of power and control. If the Baroness can force HER to obey, what chance does anyone else have? 2. There's a sort of sadistic element to it. The Baroness likes being able to control Vi, to force her to kneel at her feet for hours, to make someone powerful submit.

"There is a soft creak of old hinges as the door swings open, and something like displeasure flickers in her master's eyes." - the Baroness is displeased about the squeaky hinges. When she leaves, she tells the guy to oil them. :D

I actually tried kneeling like this for a while so I could accurately write about it and it fucking hurts if you do it for a while on a hard floor. 0/10, do not recommend.

Tobias' ring! Vi had it in her pocket when she got shot and, while she doesn't remember whose it was or how she got it, she knows it's important. She also uses it to anchor herself and to force herself to focus (you'll see).

The average man's ring size (9) is two sizes larger than the average woman's (7), and should fit a woman's thumb. Convenient!

[battle-acs-official]

I'm about to go on a rant about Sasquatch.

I'm not sorry.

So.

Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Big hairy thing in the woods. What is it, and why is it so fucking hard to find?

Honestly, the simplest and most effective answer to basically any question asked about it is: "It's an Ape. Duh."

Okay, what is it? It's an Ape. A Great Ape. What specific branch is unknown, but it DEFINITELY ISN'T A GIGANTOPITHECUS DESCENDANT!!! Giganto was an Orangutan relative and Sasquatch is clearly more related to Apes like Gorilla and Chimpanzee. Stop that. Just because it was big doesn't mean that that's the only animal Sasquatch could be related to.

On the point of bigness, first, Giganto is good precedent for Apes being able to get that big, so the argument that Sasquatch couldn't as big as it's reported to be is already dead.

Why would it get so big, though? Well, why did everything else that came across the Bering land bridge get so damn big? Bountiful resources, need to adapt, freedom for experimental forms to arise due to lack of competition. Everything in the Ice Age Species Exchange did 2 things: Got really fucking big and got really fucking weird, so an ape coming over would experience the same lack of competition and adaptive pressures.

So why would we have such a hard time finding them if they've been here the whole time? Well, for starters, we do find them. Often. You just stick your fingers in your ears, close your eyes, and chant "Hoaxes and Bears! Hoaxes and Bears!". So... That's a you problem. Also, let's put ourselves in the mindset of a Sasquatch for a minute here:

You're a Sasquatch.

You're probably somewhere between Gorilla and Chimpanzee levels of intelligence.

You're hanging out, doing your thing, walking through the woods, and you enter a clearing.

The clearing is full of dead shit, fires and screaming, hairless murderous cryptids that can kill basically anything it wants.

You recognize that this thing is a threat.

You also recognize that they usually stay in or near the plains.

You also recognize that they usually don't come out at night.

You also recognize that if they can see it, they can kill it.

You make the easy connection that the best method for not being killed by these things is to go where they don't (Deep forests and inaccessible mountains) and do your thing when they're inactive (Night).

Now, practice this habit for an absolute bare minimum of the last 10,000 years (the last time the Bering land bridge was accessible, but they likely would have came over on one of the earlier openings, which was up to several million years ago) and you have an animal that is very well adapted to seeing Humans as an existential threat and keeping well the fuck away from them.

Alright, well, if they're real, why haven't we found fossils? ... My guy, do you have any idea how ludicrously difficult it is to find ANY Primate fossils? We have functionally 0 Chimpanzee fossils. We have a handful of teeth for Gorillas. Orangutans, also mostly just a couple dozen teeth. Gigantopithecus, the guy that everyone points to (erroneously) as an ancestor of Sasquatch, is only known from a partial jaw bone. Most of it's anatomy is just speculation.

For all practical purposes, there may as well not be any Primate fossils.

So now tell me why you would expect to find any Sasquatch fossils?

Well, why are primate fossils so hard to find? Forests. For a fossil to be preserved, the animal needs to either be buried swiftly after death in mostly light sediment, like sand and silt, or have their bones picked clean and, still, buried in some form of sediment quickly (like burial in a grave).

Forests rarely ever have such conditions. Most bodies are left in open air, humid, bioactive, scavenger filled conditions with very few chances to be buried (unless they end up falling in a river).

Oh, and North American forests are possibly the worst possible forests for fossil preservation, if for no other reason than fucking porcupines. Little bastards actively EAT BONES. So, yeah, finding fossils in NA forests is nigh impossible for an already nigh impossible animal to expect a fossil from.

Alright, but that doesn't explain why we can't find them. Well, for starters, we do, you guys just call all the witnesses liars, drunks or idiots. And expecting that kind of reaction tends to dampen one's enthusiasm to tell people what you've seen...

... So that's your fault, when you really think about it.

Also, who's gonna fund a multiple years expedition into the most remote reaches of the continent, with people the scientific (ha, ironic) community has made a habit of condemning as quacks and hoaxers, with military grade search and reconnaissance equipment, trying to build an entirely new field of study from scratch, to find an animal that is deliberately, consciously, trying to not be found.

Oh, so you just conveniently just can't find any evidence, but it totally exists? We have hair, which is call hoaxes. We have foot, hand and full body prints, which you call hoaxes. We have dermal ridges (the stuff that makes your fingerprint, but they exist on your hands and feet), which you call hoaxes. We have photos, which you call hoaxes. We have videos, which you call hoaxes. We have audio recordings, which you call hoaxes. We have basically everything short of a physical specimen.

Well then get a physical specimen!

A) Again, they are actively trying to stay away from humans. They likely don't visit the same places twice when they see humans around.

B) Sightings are rare, brief and probably deliberate on the Sasquatch's part as a way to scare you off. You're not going to be running around the forest on your normal hike with a tranquilizer gun to quick-draw at a moment's notice and that animal is definitely not going to let itself be seen for very long.

C) Hunters usually have a habit of NOT shooting the upright, human-shaped things in the woods. Even if it very obviously looks like a Sasquatch, most people would likely hold their fire in case it's an asshole in a suit.

D) Even if you manage to shoot one, do you have a chopper to haul it out? No? Well good luck dragging a 6-10 foot tall, 400-700 pound behemoth out of the woods with nothing but your bare hands.

And finally E) I'd like to at least hope that most people would be hesitant to kill something that looks so much like a human. If you saw a mother and young, could you really bring yourself to killing them?

Any debate is welcome, just be civil.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Not quite a fall

Here is an idea that takes the horrifying absurdity of the Clone Wars and magnifies it.  Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times…unless you wish to become part of the ride itself. Then grab onto these characters and you too can try to wrangle them. 

I do want to make it clear from the start that the Jedi Council and Dooku are making the best of some fairly shitty options, at this point and in the future. The Jedi do not know/cannot prove Palpatine is Sidious and the reality is that without absolute proof they risk being wrong and if they are then the real Sith master will go to ground and they will be left with nothing.  In addition Palpatine has contingencies for every aspect of his plan (and likely did in canon as well, if he had a contingency clones for himself), including if clones were found early, the chips did not work as intended, and the Jedi found out too early. It may not be obvious, or seem counterintuitive for the Jedi to keep walking forward, even knowing of the trap, knowing that so many would likely die in this fabricated war. But this is not meant to be criticizing the Jedi for the shitty options they had. 

Now we start with Yan Dooku, prior to his Fall. This is also before the Naboo crisis , in fact this is in the beginning when Palpatine is still manipulating him. 

*-As a side note, have you ever tried to look into the timeline for the clones and try to fit it into the greater timeline. That shit is wild. Jango Fett is recruited for Operation Knightfall-Order 66 and the clone project- in 32 BBY. This is the same year of the Naboo crisis and, according to Wookiepeidia, it is also the year that Cody was born. Based on what we know of the Kaminoan numbering system for the clones, there were at least 2 batches before Cody’s-The Nulls and the Alphas. Jango Fett was recruited by Dooku after his Fall, and he is said to have fallen after Qui Gonn’s death. I get that Palpatine had already been building towards this but man for this timeline to work Dooku had a quicker Fall time than Anakin-who went from ‘stop him’ to ‘time to murder children’ in a distressingly short period of time-  All this adds up to 32 BBY being, like, 2020 COVID  levels of crazy. Because we had Qui Gon’s death, Dooku’s fall, the recruitment of Jango Fett-I understand there was a bounty hunt as an audition-, and all of this happened in enough time for at least 3 batches of clones- possibly more- to be born in 32BBY. How long is the gestation period for the clones? How is gestation and decanting set up so this timeline works. The Galactic Standard year is a 12 month/368 day model. Even if we presume that the double aging is also present in gestation, thus instead of 9 months it takes 4.5 months, that is still 13.5 months for 3 batches. Even with a staggered start cycles-batch 1 is the start point, batch 2 starts a week later, batch 3 starts a week after that and we can get everything down to a minimum 5 months, there still so much shit that has to happen in 7 months-*

In this Dooku, as a Jedi Master, does recognize that he is being manipulated and goes to the Jedi Council. He has just enough proof to prove that the Sith were back but does now know who (He knows that Palptine is involved but does not know if he is a Sith, a willing collaborator, or a patsy). The council decides that Dooku would go undercover as it were, to pretend that he is falling for Palpatine’s manipulation and to let it go to its natural conclusion, which they all presume will end with Dooku pretending to fall.  Outside of the Council, there are only three other Jedi that are told of this assignment. Shadows Tholme and Quinlan Vos (though a senior Padawan at the time) were his contacts. The only other person told was Senior Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi, at the insistence of Mace Windu (Now this was not through some belief in Obi Wan as a person, or his value to such a mission. It was purely so that he could keep Qui Gon Jinn from flipping his lid when and if Dooku needed to pretend to be a Sith. Jinn was not told because no one thought that he could keep from endangering everyone through some ‘Will of the Force’ reasoning or trying to be ‘helpful’).  Neither Obi Wan or the Shadows are told who else knows (though Vos and Thome do know the other is aware), and Obi Wan still has no contact with Dooku, so this knowledge does not change much at first. To be exceedingly clear, Obi Wan is only told that Master Yan Dooku is taking a long term mission where he might have to appear to Fall, in which case Obi Wan is going to need to keep Qui Gon from interfering; he is given no other information about to mission or what is being found.  As it turns out Qui Gon dies just before Dooku ‘falls’. 

The clones are still commissioned, but they are not chipped; save for a single clone whose name later becomes Chip, this is the clone that Dooku shows to Palpatine as proof the plan was going as it should. This Dooku is more involved with the Clones. Though the trainers do not know it (having entirely bought into project Knightfall), Dooku carefully teaches the clones th truth of their existence (that the war they are being commissioned for is BS, purely a trap for the Jedi and that they would have been designed to both love and be forced kill the Jedi). In essence he trains them to be spies in the guise of soldiers.  He has reported the existence of the clones to the council, but like Dooku they are stuck by what they can visibly do with the information. There is some limited secret contact between the leaders of the clones (The Alpha’s as the Nulls had been adopted by Kal Skirata) and the Jedi Council, in which the Jedi Council apologizes for what is being asked of the clones and plans are made to help those that need an escape wherever they are able (Dooku ‘claims’ as many clones that were due to be decommissioned for his own ‘experiments’ as he is able, most of the time that meant that clones who were to be decommissioned were sent to live on a small, unpopulated moon in Serrano’s system-the exceptions to this were clones born with fatal, untreatable congenital defects, for example being without enough of their major organs that there would be no way to grow more before the child died in agony-those few who were truly not viable were given a painless death. It becomes a practice amongst the clones that anyone who truly did not want to fight would drop their scores into Decommission range). 

To this end the Coruscant Guard were specifically chosen because they were the best at that kind of subterfuge, the clone equivalent of the Jedi Shadows and the ones who could keep themselves hidden/shielded against mind control 24/7. Fox is the only non Force sensitive, near human in the galaxy who is entirely impervious to Jedi mind tricks and Sith Mind control, the reason he was given the command that would have given him the most contact with Palpatine. They find out, much later, that some strange mutation makes him entirely impervious to any Force based power that will cause him harm.

When the time comes to enact the plans to start the war, Dooku still sends Jango Fett to lure Obi Wan to Geonosis.  But Obi Wan goes to Kamino knowing that he was going to find the Clones (having been briefed by the Council, who had been informed by Dooku). Anakin is not aware of the second layer to their mission to protect Padme, having never been brought into the loop regarding Dooku.  Obi Wan and Dooku have a pleasant conversation about both Qui Gon (and how he was likely watching from the Force), and there is a plan in place for Obi Wan to escape before the gladiatorial arena in a way that still would spark the war, but not cost lives.  That plan had to be abruptly scrapped when Anakin and Padem showed up on Geonosis to ‘rescue’ Obi Wan, after they sent a message to the council.  One of the major changes to Geonosis is how Anakin lost his hand; it was not chopped off by Dooku but lost in an explosion caused by the droids. 

Here is where we start to get into the horror and the humor. Because this war is fabricated, a thing of smoke and mirrors whose sole purpose is to collect power for a few individuals. More importantly this is a Bullshit created war for the purpose of trapping the Jedi. The upper command on both sides (Jedi High council, Dooku and later Ventress, Palpatine, Grievous) know that the entire war is bullshit, though Palpatine does not know that the JHC are aware. The troopers, from the youngest to the oldest clones, are all utterly aware that the war is bullshit. They grew knowing they would be fighting in a war that was utter bullshit.  The reason that the Droids could not be programmed for critical thinking was that it took them a maximum one battle to realize the war was bullshit, and they were not pleased about being cannon fodder. 

In fact there were only two groups who were actually affected by the war that were not aware that the entire thing was contrived bullshit. 

Every office not part of the high command (non clone officers, Jedi Generals, the entire command structure between fielded droids and CIS Generals on Grievous's level-I have no idea how the command structure of the CIS army works and barely any more about the GAR structure but work with me here), which I tend to think of as the middle management is the first group. 

The other is the innocents being attacked by CIS forces.  To them the war is very real.

Until they know for sure who the Sith Master is Dooku, the Jedi High Command(now including a fully read-in Obi Wan), or the Clones cannot let on that they know the war is ultimately bullshit. And there are too many innocents at stake to completely blow off or fake fighting. Yes when Dooku, and Ventress after she is brought into the fold, are in command they tend to try and take worlds with resources but little to no populations and they disengage as soon as they possibly can,  but there are too many who buy into ‘The War’ or the power that they are getting to fake battles and in battles someone is bound to die. 

Imagine being one of the Jedi Councilors and high generals, knowing (instead of just suspecting) that every battle they go into is unnecessary bullshit to trap the Jedi. Knowing that their troopers know that they are being sent into battle for unnecessary bullshit, but everyone having to pretend that they buy into the bullshit, that they have to pretend ignorance of things so gallingly obvious.

-In this world the Jedi council has created a secret process for allowing the defection of troopers that do not want to fight. Pong Krell (who never got to the point of Falling, as he never got used to thinking the clones were non sentient) and a handful of other Jedi spread throughout the system's armies, maintained a deliberately high ‘casualty’ rate to go with their high success rate. Clones that wanted to defect were transferred to these specific battalions where they were ‘killed in action’ and transported to a way point that relays them to the planet the decommissioned clones went to. None of these Jedi know that Dooku is actually on their side, or that the whole war is bullshit, but they are able to hang onto their sanity a bit better for this process. -

Picture Dooku, and later Ventress, staring across the battlefield as horrified at the lives being taken as the Jedi. Still having to pretend to buy in, saying all the right things (Ventress does still take Wolffe’s eye, but it is Wolffe’s idea to help sell that Ventress is not ‘too soft’ on the clones she is fighting). Imagine having to calculate the exact point they can withdraw, when they have to press their victory for appearances. Knowing that they (as Ventress was completing her Jedi training under Dooku, who does not want her to be lost to the darkside) have to reconcile killing for the sake of appearances.  Having to bury their own horror when they work with other CIS high command, who very much know that the entire war is bullshit but don’t care, or are actively enjoying, the lives lost. 

It changes some details, both major and minor, on who dies when, but in the grand scheme of things this knowledge does not change the overall trajectory of the war (though Dooku is not killed). It is still three years in that Palpatine tells Anakin (who, at no point, is brought into the loop about Dooku, the defection of clones, or any of it-mostly because no one not in a very strict ‘need to know’ was told and partly because the Jedi Council allowed the clones themselves to decide who would know about the defection battalions; they could not quite convince themselves that he would not share that information where he should not) that he is the Sith Master. Anakin runs to tell Windu. 

But in this, instead of gathering the council to fight Sidious, Windu’s first action is to comm Fox. All he says to the head of the CG is, ‘Palpatine has just confirmed that he is the Sith Master’. 

Fox responds with, ‘I will comm you when it is done’.

Anakin is standing there, breathing heavily from running all the way from the Senate, very unsure what was going on but certain the announcement that Palpatine was a Sith should be taken with some more urgency than Windu was showing. 

Ponds enters and when he is told who the Sith is he sighs, deeply. “I was so sure it was that odious aide of Palpatine’s” (Whom Pond refers to only by the name of Bastard, if at all).

Just as Anakin is starting to become antsy (very much in the mindset of ‘shouldn’t we do something about the professed Sith in the same building as my secret wife?) Fox comms back. His hair is sticking straight away from his head (he found out that Palpatine’s Lighting did not hurt him the old fashioned way) and reports that Palpatine is very dead (each Guard wanted to make sure…and shooting is a good way to make sure), the Senate is in lockdown, to tell Skywalker that his wife is on a medical transport for the Temple’s Healing Halls (using those exact words),and that Fox will be filing a formal complaint against the Naboo education system for poor sex ed.  

After the call is done, the next call Windu puts in is to Dooku. Windu tells Dooku that it is time to come home.  Anakin watches horrified fascination as Dooku visibly sags with relief, saying that he and Ventress just need to tie up some loose ends here and to have a therapist ready. 

[puntastic-artist]

Howdy! I saw your tnmn pirate au and was wondering how the world is structured. How did these people from different walks (er swims?) of life end up in the same place on or near the boat?

OH SHIT Y'ALL ARE EATING GOOD TONIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH LORE FOR THIS AU

SO FUCKLE UP BECAUSE BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT

Right so lets begin with the setting and when and where everything takes place.

The AU is set in 1755, kings and queens rule many lands and was the golden age of pirates. The crew comes from multiple different backgrounds, poor, middle class, upper class, you name it!

Mermaids, Sirens (the doppelgangers in this AU), and Harpies aren't believed to be real, as the sailors who have seen them could provide no evidence. Cameras are a HUGE LUXURY item that none of them could even afford so not a single soul was believed. However some folks believed in these stories but have inevitably mixed them all up as time goes by (it's why nobody can agree on if Sirens are mermaids or bird people or just a type of mischievous creature of the seas), and as of the AUs present date nobody has gotten a sighting of any of these creatures.

Mermaids and Harpies only go to sailors, usually to mess with them a bit because a majority of the time they're just there to have fun. Sirens however? Their only goal is to satisfy their everlasting hunger by either; shape shifting into crew members so they can board, or luring them into dangerous waters and crash their ships against jagged rocks. Not many have survived sirens, as days if not months of being alone with nothing but rations and sea water will kinda fuck you up a bit mentally and physically, and to catch one you have to identify if they are or are not your crewmate.

Their shape shifting capabilities has ALSO added to the mix up of sirens, harpies, and mermaids and who is who. Sirens will eat mermaids to gain their power to sing hypnotic melodies, and eat Harpies for their ability to fly and their ability to create storms.

Mermaids and Harpies both have the capability to take on human forms! However this ability will usually mean they don't have the ability to sing or create storms. Sometimes if they're lucky they'll have both! But that's a rarity.

But back to sirens, due to the many sailors and pirates who see them, pirates and sailors have begun implementating and assigning an important role to certain members of the crew! The D.D.D or rather the S.D.S (Siren Detection specialist) is a person (typically a look out, medic, or first mate) who is made to run check ups and examinations on crew members to make sure no Sirens have snuck on board... Yeah uh these guys die. A lot.

Character lore!!!!

Right so lets get on to the lore for each of the (currently drawn) crew members!

Angus and Izaack

Angus grew up in the lower parts of the unnamed city they once lived in, while Izaack grew up in the upperclass as his father was a nobleman. Still the two did everything together growing up. To try and earn Angus some extra cash when he went out to swindle money out of unsuspecting upperclassmen, Izaack would take some "cheap" jewelry nobody would miss and give it to Angus to sell!

This tactic could no longer work as well when they became adults though because Izaack's parents would lose their money gradually. So because Angus was on the verge of living on the streets and his buddy was slowly losing funds, he came up with an idea, the two of them could take a ship, go on an exploration around the world to find hidden treasures, and return home and live the rest of their lives with new found wealth! So they snuck on a Navy ship and set sail. Should be no problem right? No. Angus and Izaack stole it in the middle of the day and now their whole town thinks Angus kidnapped the nobleman's son and there's now a bounty on his head. They're (somehow) making it work though! Angus is the captain and Izaack is the first mate!

The twins

Selenne and Elenois are actually insanely powerful and rich women! However they have tricked the local land population into believing they're humans, as they are a mermaid and harpy respectfully! They get their insane riches from stealing from other pirate ships or from shipwrecks and trade the valuables they find! They have made an alliance with Angus and his crew because they help each other out! Both twins live on land and have Margrette sew their outfits for them (she's their only staff member who is aware they are not human)

Nacha, Francis, and Anastacha

Nacha came from a middle class family who wanted her to marry a wealthy man and live lavishly, while Nacha wanted to explore the world, find true love, and be free from her overbearing family.

Francis is a mermaid who came from an under sea kingdom which... He's not very interested in going back to if he's completely honest. His kingdom was full of festivals, parties, and celebrations galore, Francis just wanted quiet.

The two met one fateful night and fell in love, they dated for a bit, Francis pulled a little Mermaid, and Nacha married him! However because Nacha married a low class man, who doesn't even fucking wear shoes, she got disowned. But to them, it didn't matter. They had Anastacha and were happy!

Slowly though they fell out of love and ended their marriage and relationship on very friendly and sweet terms.

Now Nacha and Anastacha live in a small cottage while Francis visits whenever he can and supports his daughter!

However Nacha and Anastacha were kicked out of the family will years ago. Nacha was struggling to make an income, Francis was trying to support in any way he could, and Anastacha felt completely powerless to do anything. So when Anastacha found Angus' boat hiding as they began to stock up on supplies she took the opportunity to set sail and return to her mother with riches beyond their comprehension, becoming a stowaway.

When Nacha noticed her daughter was gone she and Francis searched for her until they saw her on the pirate ship as it set sail and raced to rescue her.

Now all 3 family members, to their shock, are the new (and before Mia and Afton, only) members of the Cipprianni crew!

Mia and Afton

Their story is very simple! They're a simple, lovey dovey, newly wedded couple looking for adventure and excitement! As they want to spend the best years of their lives together in the most entertaining and adventurous way yet, joining a pirate crew! They promise to aid the crew in their endeavors for as long as they need, after all they have the entire ocean and skies to explore together, so why not get started?

IMPORTANT!

So really quick just because I wanna make it clear: there's no canon ships in this AU!!! Other than the previously established relationship of Nacha and Francis ofc, nothing is canon, if you wanna draw Francis with Angus or Izaack with your oc, I don't mind! Go for it! Have fun! Just because I draw a shit ton of DairyWheel doesn't mean you can't still draw your favorite ship.

Thank you for getting to the end of all this btw!!! It means a lot!!!

Can't wait to make more stuff for this AU!!!

ALSO!!!

Keep proshipping or anything of the like AWAY from my AU. I want none of it.