#the idea came to me when I looked over at my shelf and saw my little Hexbug

[darkmatilda]

𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after prentiss leaves, someone has to take care of her cat. you decide to share the responsibility between the two of you, leading the people around you to some strange conclusions.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x diva!chemist reader, mini absurd arguments, spencer texting her at 3 a.m. just to infodump about cats (theyre too sweet i cant), theyre completely in their parents era, proof that my sense of humor is silly, diva pov in the final scene!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.3k

𝐚/𝐧: this idea was suggested to me in a comment when i asked for fic ideas for the marathon—basically i think two people mentioned something about the return of that little kitten 🫶🏼

marathon masterlist

“Are you sure you’ve got everything?” she asked, turning her head toward him.

Reid, sitting in the passenger seat of her car (her wonderful car…), sighed and closed his eyes.

“You should’ve asked me that when we were still at my apartment,” he muttered. “Then I could have checked. But I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything—like the litter box, the food…”

“A silk pillow?”

“Since when do cats need silk pillows?”

“Well, maybe other cats don’t, but mine does. The delicate fabric is the best for her fur.”

“And she’s still going to sleep on the shelf in the bathroom. Or the fridge. Anywhere but there. It’s a cat.”

She hesitated for a moment, but decided not to push. A brief explanation of what it was actually about—a while ago, they had both saved a kitten they found on the street. Neither of them had the time or the means to care for it, so it ended up in good hands with Emily. But when Prentiss accepted the job at Interpol and moved to London, it became necessary for someone else to take care of the kitten. Her second cat, Sergio, was taken in by Penelope, but she couldn’t adopt both, so they came up with the idea of sharing the responsibility.

This meant the cat would spend a few days with Reid and a few days with her, depending on their plans, schedules, and simply the time they had. It was a fairly new arrangement, so Spencer was about to take the cat in for the first time, and he felt as though it was much more serious than it really was.

After the first night, she literally came over in the morning to check if all her precious one's needs had been met and if she was well cared for. As it turned out, of course, everything was fine, and since she was already there, they went to work together.

“By the way,” she began, just as Reid reached for the car door (her wonderful car…!), which made him turn back toward her, hand paused midair. “I’m not convinced about that food Prentiss was giving her.”

Spencer barely held back an eye roll. Most of her concerns (and there were a lot of them) were entirely unfounded.

“It was fine. The vet recommended it himself.”

“But it didn’t look very good.”

“That’s because it’s cat food. It’d be weird if you thought it looked appetizing.”

“We’ll come back to that. Last thing—I had a few things delivered to your place…”

“To my place?”

“Yep. A harness, a leash, a bowl…”

“She already has a harness and leash. And I have bowls at my apartment…”

“Yeah, but these are nicer. Red with gold accents. They’ll match her black fur.”

“I’m genuinely starting to worry about you.”

“Why? Is it so wrong that I don’t want my baby getting laughed at by the other kids for wearing outdated clothes?”

“She’s a cat. Cats don’t laugh at each other for wearing outdated clothes. That kind of mean behavior is strictly human.”

“Say what you want, but I saw those judgmental looks last time I took her out for a walk.”

“You should be teaching your child that her worth isn’t tied to clothes or material things.”

“She knows that. And soon she’ll also learn that her father’s a cheapskate who doesn’t want her to have cool accessories.”

Spencer ended the conversation with a wave of his hand, deciding the level of absurdity had officially gone too far.

“We’re about to be late,” he pointed out, glancing at his watch.

She gave him a wounded look, as if time were a concept he’d personally invented just to get rid of her. Still, the fact remained—they really were about to be late.

They stepped out of her car (her wonderful... ha! Not this time) (...her wonderful car...) and almost immediately ran into Morgan’s surprised stare.

His takeaway coffee cup froze halfway to his lips.

“Since when do you two show up to work together?”

They exchanged a glance. Spencer’s was mildly awkward; hers was completely unfazed.

“Good morning, Morgan. Nice to see you too. That’s usually how these things start,” she replied in a lecturing tone, to which their friend only rolled his eyes.

“Good morning and all that. So?”

Spencer decided to step in, offering his own explanation—he wanted everything to be clear, no misunderstandings, and most importantly, no two weeks of Morgan shooting him those suggestive looks from beneath raised eyebrows.

“She was already leaving my apartment this morning, so we figured we’d just come in together,” he said plainly.

Morgan did exactly what Spencer had hoped to avoid—he shot him a suggestive look from beneath raised eyebrows.

She, too, fixed her gaze on him, the corner of her mouth curling with mild pity.

“Leaving each other’s apartments in the morning…I’ve gotta say, you two surprise me, but I can’t say it’s unexpected,” Derek commented, completely ignoring Reid’s emphatic head-shaking.

Before he could get another word out, he was silenced with a wave of her hand.

“Better not make it worse,” she told him, then sighed and turned to Morgan. “We just have a baby together.”

Spencer stared at her, wide-eyed.

 “And I’m the one making it worse?”

Morgan shook his head at them with a small smile and simply walked off, calmly sipping his coffee.

Naturally, Spencer hurried after him.

 “A cat! We have a cat together…!”

*

Spencer barely noticed Hotch’s arrival or the fact that the whole team had gathered—he was far too absorbed in the book he was reading.

Alex had been a little surprised by his choice of subject, but he’d explained that lately, he’d been reading a lot about cats. That was just the way he was. He felt a constant need to expand his knowledge, especially in areas that directly affected his daily life.

It had been two weeks since they’d taken the cat in together, and while he had grown used to the added presence in his apartment on certain days, he was still learning fascinating things about these creatures—either from personal experience or through books and articles.

Whenever he came across something particularly interesting, he made a mental note of it to share with her later. That is, with his colleague in shared cat ownership. In shared responsibility for Marie. Since they were doing this together, they needed to be equally educated.

And since there was quite a lot to learn, he eventually started texting her things like:

The claws on a cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the back ones don’t retract and, as a result, get worn down.

To which he would receive replies like (which gave him a strange internal delight he would never admit out loud):

really?? going to check wait

Only for five minutes to pass in silence—until a new message popped up:

can’t check, she’s sleeping. you should be too, it’s 3 a.m

Spencer mentally bookmarked the exact page and line where he’d left off so he could return to it later.

In the meantime, Penelope stood before the team, remote in hand, ready to brief them on their next case. But before she could say a word, someone else walked into the room—despite the fact that the whole team was already there.

Funny. He’d just been thinking about her.

“I looked into what you asked me about,” she said, her eyes focused solely on Garcia, not sparing even a passing glance in his direction.

Not that it was particularly strange. Even though they hadn’t seen each other yet that day. It’s not like he always looked for her face first, in every room he happened to walk into.

In any case, she handed Penelope a few papers.

“I adore you, I swear,” Penelope gushed, accepting the papers with heartfelt gratitude.

“I know you do. Oh—and I know you didn’t ask for this, but I figured it was worth looking into, and I actually found something interesting. Take a look…”

She launched into something connected to their new case. Reid reached for the case files, flipping through them quickly to catch up with what she was referencing.

His gaze moved in a steady rhythm—from her face, to the page he was reading, and back again—following the cadence of her voice.

At one point, she caught the look he gave her and tilted her head slightly, a thoughtful expression forming on her face. She didn’t say anything, just kept talking about the case, and their eyes didn’t meet again until she was already at the door.

With one finger raised, she spun on her heel, as if something had just occurred to her. That finger landed squarely on him.

Curious about what she was about to say, Reid straightened in his seat. And then…

“I hope you remember the castration appointment. Six o’clock. You better be there early,” she said briskly before walking out of the room.

Every gaze in the room—unified like a single entity—turned toward his now unnecessarily upright figure.

Spencer’s fingers fidgeted with the papers in his hands, one drifting to his mouth as he cleared his throat.

“We…have a cat now…”

*

You stirred your coffee absentmindedly, eyes never leaving the test results spread out in front of you. Someone appeared at your side, and you knew exactly who it was—even without turning your head.

Over time, you had learned to recognize the people who regularly stepped into your lab—their footsteps, the way they moved, even the sound of their breathing.

This one was new. Quiet, almost shy. He’d only just joined your team, and he was young, with those perpetually shadowed eyes that always seemed to drift around the room in a distant sort of way. Judging by those eyes alone, one could assume he was constantly contemplating the essence of human suffering—and quietly mourning all eight billion souls, one by one.

But truthfully, he had the makings of a brilliant chemist. All he needed was a little more confidence.

“Um, you wanted to see me,” he reported, hands clasped behind his back. Or at least, that’s what you assumed he was saying—he usually stood like that until your stare reminded him he looked like a lost calf, and then he’d shift his posture in embarrassment.

“Indeed. Take these to Dr. Reid.”

You handed him the analyzed results, and he gave a simple nod. He returned ten minutes later, once again taking his place silently by your side, waiting to be noticed.

By then, you were already done with your coffee, fully immersed in your work, and you gave him only a brief nod—enough of a signal that he, too, should get back to it.

“Dr. Reid asked me to tell you…” Winchester began, looking even more awkward than usual. “That unfortunately, he won’t be able to take Marie this weekend.”

You sighed in frustration, and he nearly jumped, thinking it was directed at him.

“We agreed to take turns looking after her every weekend. Does he really have to change it at the last minute?” you muttered under your breath, mentally noting to call him and yell — just on principle. Because honestly, nothing was stopping you from taking the cat for the weekend.

But doing it this way was just more fun.

Winchester nodded and started assisting you with your work, occasionally swallowing nervously, as if trying to find a topic of conversation.

He seemed to live under the impression that whenever you were silent, you were probably planning to destroy the galaxy you all lived in — so he always tried to make awkward small talk, which, truth be told, he had no real desire for as a self-declared introvert.

“So…” he began hesitantly. “Her name is Marie? Is that after…?”

“Marie Skłodowska Curie? That’s right, point for you,” you replied, pausing for a moment as something crossed your mind, making the corners of your lips curl up unintentionally. “Although, at first, it was Albert. We thought she was a male. Blame Spencer and his bad vision,” you snorted.

Winchester looked genuinely shocked.

“How...how could you...what about the doctors?” he stammered, still trying to process the situation.

“What's wrong with them?”

“Didn't they tell you that you...have a beautiful little girl?”

“They did. But we thought it was a boy at first.”

“O-okay,” he muttered, suddenly opening his mouth like he had just realized something. “Oh, okay, now I get it. And, well, I admire you. A home birth must’ve been…tough.”

Only then did you look up at him, raising an eyebrow. He looked like he deeply regretted not keeping his mouth shut, but at the same time, had no idea where he had gone wrong. He scratched his head.

“Sorry if that's a sensitive topic.”

“Our cat would be a sensitive topic?” you asked, trying to hide your amusement because the sheer panic on his face was almost comical. It was reminiscent of Reid’s mortified expression when he tried desperately to conceal that something you did or showed him embarrassed him—though his cheeks gave him away.

“Your…your...I thought...I thought Marie was your and Doctor Reid’s child,” he stuttered, panicking. “And that...I don’t know, you’re divorced or something...should I just shut up now?”

You stared at him for a moment, as if he were battling with himself to close his eyes, as if that would make him disappear.

“Yeah, that’d be probably the best best”

Lmaoo Winchester = Whitaker from the pitt this is exactly what I had in mind while writing

[fl3a-bag]

It’s their greatest invention as of yet

[mystictastemakerpost]

It's their greatest invention as of yet

[heartmix]

Spoiled - LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x gn!reader

Word Count: 800+

Warning: making fun of the british (slightly), expired food

A/N: the idea popped into my head after watching max's stream a few days ago. Also i'm pretty sure its Lando's birthday already somewhere in europe!

F1 Masterlist / Masterlist

Some days you wondered how Lando was still alive. Never mind driving a rocket ship on wheels for living, no, it was because he decide to put anything in his body without a second thought. Despite spending millions on cars and watches and other material items he didn't give a second thought about something he needs to survive, food. You blamed it on him being british and the fact that they don't have anything good to eat. You knew about the sweet potato incident, even if it was before you knew him. Finding out he went and ate spoiled food again was enough to give you the ick and put your foot down.

The plan was simple. Buy new groceries, do some meal prep and clean out the fridge for Lando while he was playing Tarkov with his friends. He mentioned that he was going to play all day and that max was going to stream later on in the night. That gave you enough time to run to the store and cook some easy meals so you could surprise him with a full fridge.

After waking up early and sending a text to Lando that you were going to drop off something later tonight, you headed to the grocery store to pick up everything you needed. A bunch of fresh produce to meal prep and some snacks that can last on the shelf for a few months. With Lando's strict diet (or lack of there) you pulled out all the stops for a healthy and tasty meal. 

As night time crept up you packed everything in bags and made your way over to his apartment. You got a notification that max started his stream a few ago so it was the perfect time to sneak in and fill his kitchen while dropping off some dinner. Any noise you made wouldn't be too out of the blue seeing as he knew you were coming and that you already had a key. 

While entering the house you could already hear the screaming and weird random sounds coming out of your boyfriends gaming room. That should keep him distracted for awhile. First you started with cleaning and sterilizing his fridge. Doubt he didn't have much which is probably why he ate expired chicken, but one could never be too careful. Once that was over with you packed away all his food that should last for the week. Seeing the finished product brought a smile to your face. At least he was going to be eating good for the week. 

Once his current raid ended you quietly made your way into the room being aware that his mic was on and that possibly a couple thousand fans could hear what could be said, even with this shit mic. When his door opened he saw you and an immediate smile was plastered on his face. 

"Hey baby." He smiled taking off his headphones and motioning you to come by him.

"Hi. I just came to drop off dinner. Don't want to keep you long." You smiled placing the plastic bag on his desk before he pulled you onto his lap.

"It's okay, raid just ended and the mic is off. Stay for a few seconds."

"Alright. I made you my famous stir fry. There's another serving in the fridge for tomorrow." You said bringing out the food and fork setting it up for him.

"What would i do without you."

"Eat expired chicken." 

"Haha i get it." He gave a fake laugh making a real one erupt from your throat. 

"Yeah you seriously gave me the ick. This was going to be a surprise but i stocked up your fridge and did some meal prep. You just have to heat it up in the microwave, although i'm scared you'll even mess that up." You laughed at another joke your boyfriend seemed to be the butt of. 

"Move in with me." All of the joking mood went out of the room as he looked at you with a serious almost pleading expression. 

For you it came out of the blue. Sure you've been together for almost two years and you've spent a good portion out of the year traveling with him to races, but moving in together never crossed your mind. It seemed like the next logical thing in the relationship but neither of you brought the topic up till now. 

"What?"

"Sorry, i was either going to blurt out that or marry me. I figure it's best to go in order." The words came out like it wasn't the most bizarre thing he could say in the moment. 

"You're crazy."

"Yeah, for you. So what do you say?" How could you say no to that adorable smile.

"Well someone needs to keep you alive." a smile slowly crept upon your face liking the idea of seeing with him more and being closer to him. Also it would save you money, monaco wasn't cheap. 

"Perfect." He said leaning in for a kiss before you pulled away. 

"I'm not kissing you after you just ate expired chicken."  

"That was yesterday!" 

[rafesbowbunny]

𝜗𝜚 bunny!reader has always had a thing for a regular at her bookstore, older!rafe only comes in to see her

c!w; mdni !! older!rafe, dom!rafe, bunny!reader, age-gap (reader is 18+), size kink, rafe gets called 'daddy' a few times, dirty talk, mutual pining obviously, 'unprotected' sex, p in v, creampie, overstimulation (if you squint), cum play, cum eating, oral (f. receiving)

notes; i had such bad writer's block during the making of this so i apologise if this isn't my best work... also its kinda long before the smut but it needed some plot !!

you'd just gotten a job at a new cozy bookstore in town. it was perfect, had rows and rows of every genre of book a person could think of and a lovely little cafe with a cozy area to read in too. you loved working there, and had recently gotten much more comfortable after finally getting the hang of everything.

there were quite a few regulars that would come in for the coffee and a book, lots were mothers with quiet children that would sit down in the children's corner and read, others were just people of all ages that particularly enjoyed sitting in the bookstore for hours.

you were stacking shelves the first time you saw him; tall, gorgeous and smiling slightly under his cute scruffy moustache. he was flicking through the non-fiction books. though he didn't look like someone that read, adorned in workwear and partially grubby clothing, most likely from his blue collar job.

you could tell he was definitely older, around ten years your senior but still so pretty. after that first minor interaction you started seeing him come in a lot more, every other day basically. you'd worked up the courage to say hi to him after a few more times of seeing him and although your face was probably bright red, he smiled wide and started a conversation with you.

after the ice had been broken you would always talk to him when he came into the bookstore, it got to a point where he wasn't even pretending to be interested in the books around him anymore, he obviously had come in there to see you again.

rafe had also started coming in early before work started, he looked so good in his carhartt jacket and big boots, not yet dirty from a days work. he'd make sure you were the one to make his coffee, always mumbling something about you having a secret gift as he grinned, letting his hand linger over yours when he'd take his cup.

the tension between the two of you was palpable, your friends and co-workers would make jokes about how no one needed to read romance books in there anymore, they had a whole story playing out in front of them.

you would always laugh and smile at their comments, smitten over the idea of being with rafe but there was always the lingering thought that it was just friendly flirting. nothing more. he probably had a girlfriend, or a wife or something. he was too old and too gorgeous, why would he actually want anything to do with little old you.

these thoughts had you spiralling significantly on one particular day; what if you were wasting all your time and feelings on this older guy that would never want you? would you ever get over him? would you be alone forever?

you were zoning out - hard - as you slid the last few books of your shift onto the shelf, you nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw him standing in front of you with a grin.

"sorry, did i give you a fright?" he mumbled, steadying you with his touch, "'thought you'd heard me when i said y'name but there must be s'much goin' on in that head of yours."

you took a breathe and smiled weakly at him, not being able to shake your pessimistic thoughts from seconds before as he stood in front of you, handsome and speaking.

"no, sorry- lots on my mind i guess" you shrugged, fiddling with your fingers. rafe's brow furrowed, he'd seen you stressed and frustrated because of work but never like this, anxious and pensive.

he tilted his head a little, "what's wrong hm?" he softly coaxed, looking deep into your eyes as he reached out and rubbed your arm with his thumb.

you looked up at him through your lashes, "nothing.. nothing really..." you mumbled, chewing your lip a little.

his gaze darkened as he watched you, "something you wanna ask me bunny?"

you shook your head after shuddering at the nickname. a nickname only rafe used with you, it never failed to give you goosebumps down your body and cause your thighs to squeeze together a little, "don't worry.. er, i'm about to close up in a minute - you don't mind walking me to my car do you?"

his pursed lips melted into a smile and he looked up for a second before nodding. you smiled at him before finally putting away the last few things and grabbing the bookstore's keys. rafe followed you out as you left the store and locked the doors from the outside.

"cold tonight hmm" rafe remarked, looking out at the dim parking lot and neighbouring streets as he walked close to you. you hummed in agreement, readjusting the jacket tighter around you.

when you finally reached your car you looked up at him with a longing smile before he tilted his head, grinning at you, "you gonna tell me what you were thinking about earlier?"

you shook your head, nerves chewing at your lip again.

"c'mon, 'm not gonna see you tomorrow, 'ts your day off bunny, can't make me just wonder all this time hm?" he playfully whined, inching his body closer to yours. you were a little stunned by his words.

"you remember my day off's tomorrow?" the nerves were rising in your tummy now, bubbling around and exploding.

he smirked, sliding your hand into his, "course i'd know when the only reason i go into that bookshop isn't there."

"rafe" you gushed, covering your face a little and shaking your head. you couldn't believe your ears, you thought you weren't stupid or anything but here you were, hearing that he wanted you the whole time. "i thought you were just.. i don't know, entertaining the idea of me this whole time..."

his lips parted and brow furrowed as if it was completely incomprehensible that he might've not actually wanted you, "bunny... you must be talking pure shit now because i thought i'd made it obvious i wanted you from the second i'd gotten to know you."

you chewed at your lip, heat pooling in your tummy as he instinctively inched closer to you as he spoke. all you wanted to do now was jump his bones, and you kept glancing down at the bulge in his pants as it became closer and closer to you.

he noticed your wandering eyes and laughed a little, throwing his head back before sliding both hands up your arms carefully, "...so you said you don't have heating huh?"

you nodded, feeling dizzy at the realisation of what he was about to ask you.

he scoffed with a grin, "see, i've got heating at my place that works pretty well, and - bunny, with the way you're looking at me right now, i think we're better off going there."

you smiled, staring up at him through your lashes before nodding and in an instant he'd grabbed your hand, leading you to his truck. the drive was probably fairly quick, but it felt like hours of agony to the both of you as you patiently waited. rafe's hand was possessively gripping your thigh and you felt wetness in your panties thinking about where else his hands would trail to.

it was a blur, stumbling out of his truck and into his house, you barely looked at the place before the two of you, sloppy and all over each other, had made it to his bedroom. your body was on vibrate but he took a second to take his huge jacket and long sleeve shirt off.

you breathed heavily, eyes widening when street light through the window illuminated his toned chest, he was built like a greek god and you nearly moaned at the thought of all that being all over you.

he teasingly peeled your clothes off, article by article, grinning all the way. he could see you twitching and heavily breathing at every movement, it only fuelled him more.

finally you were in nothing but panties and a bra, matching of course, which made rafe's eyes go wild, "jesus, look at you." he breathed, running his hands along the side of your body as you lay under him.

you slid your arms around his neck and tried to pull him in but he grinned at your lack of strength and you frowned playfully, squirming at the lack of action.

"you gonna ask nicely bunny?" his lips were centimetres away from yours, he was really enjoying teasing you now.

"please... please i want you inside me so bad" you whined, pouting and running your hands into his shaggy mullet. he smirked and leaned in, passionately pressing his lips to yours, engulfing you in heat.

your hands pulled at his jeans, ripping down the zipper as you slid a palm across his clothed cock, gasping at his lips over how big you found him to be.

he tugged himself out of his boxers before lowering down to your core, you burned with desire as you watched the greek god looming over you, slowly bully his cock into your weeping hole.

you groaned at the feeling, his cock slowly slipping all the way down, filling you to the hilt. your grip around his neck tightened, along with his hands holding you steady at your hips.

he drilled into you at an unrelenting pace, the sound of his cock diving in and out of your wet pussy causing him to groan gutturally, "uhghh, you like this big cock baby? c'mon, tell me you've been thinking about daddy's cock since you met me hmm"

you eyes were rolling back, the pleasure becoming too much already, "mmmh i think about daddy's cock all the time... oh! fuuuck."

you looked down at your tummy, a clear huge bulge poking everytime rafe drove his dick into you, only making you dizzier. he was just so big.

a creamy line of arousal was thick around the base of rafe's cock, your breath all ragged as he continued to drill into you, toying with your clit to overstimulate you.

you were shaking under him, one hand gripping onto a bicep and the other tugging the sheets beside you. the sheer girth of him was splitting you open, rafe grinned at the yelps escaping your lips with every thrust.

"pussy's swallowing me whole, fuck bunny" he grunted into your lips, launching in for yet another seering kiss while his thrusts became sloppy but deeper. plap-plap-plap filled the room along with your pornographic moans.

"nghh daddy, i'm- oh, g'na cum!" you cried, nails digging into his flesh.

he was panting into your neck, "'know baby, can feel your pussy milking me- fuuuuuck" you felt the rush of your orgasm as rafe's thick white ropes coated your insides. he continued to thrust into you a few more times, watching your pussy swallow all his cum before pulling out.

"such a good bunny, look at that shit.." he mumbled, dragging a finger over your wet whole, playing with and pushing his release back into you. "so wet..."

he dipped his head down, lapping up both your juices that had coated your folds. you twitched from the sensation, still recovering from his cock.

"rafeee- oh god- too sensitive.." you whined, hand laced in his hair. he lifted his head and looked at you with a grin, his moustache gleaming with wetness.

"oh bunny now that i've had you, shit, i'm never letting my little girl go."

[meadowfics]

spicy laundry

husband!kang dae-ho x f!wife!reader

this is apart of my 'kang family' series

warnings: minors do not interact!! nsfw. 18+ smut. p in v unprotected. praise kink. squirting. breeding kink. vulgar dialogue. daeho dih

daeho had been restless all day. 

it started in the morning when you came down the stairs, your hair still damp from the shower, clinging slightly to the black tank top you had casually thrown on. the fabric hugged you in all the right ways, showing just enough to drive him insane. you’ve paired that top with those form-fitting jeans that accentuated your curves, the curves that came after giving birth six months ago… it was like you were teasing him without even realizing it.

he wanted you. 

no, he needed you badly.

however, the day had other plans. seo-ah wanted to play outside, and byeol needed to be soothed to sleep. lunch came and went, laughter echoing through the house, but every time daeho caught a glimpse of you bending over to pick up a toy or reaching for something on a high shelf, his jaw clenched. 

all he could think about was how much he wanted his hands on you. 

now, with the afternoon sun dimming through the windows, he finally saw his chance.

you were in the laundry room, a mundane task keeping you occupied as you folded clothes. the rhythmic hum of the dryer filled the air. the small room was warm, filled with the scent of clean linens. seo-ah was in her room playing tea party with her dolls, and byeol went to sleep in her nursery.

as you were folding one of those white shower towels, you didn’t notice daeho at first when he quietly entered, shutting the door and locking it behind him with a soft click. 

he watched you for a moment. the gentle sway of your hips, the absent-minded way you tucked your hair behind your ear. everything about you was intoxicating. now? now, you were all his.

without a word, daeho stepped closer, his chest brushing against your back. the warmth of him was instant. you didn’t need to turn around to know it was him, the familiar scent of his cologne and the sheer presence of him gave it away. you kept folding the soft white towels in front of you, though your breath hitched slightly when his hands slipped around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“i’ve been watching you all day,” he murmured lowly, his lips brushing just below your ear. the deep timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, “you have no idea what you’ve been doing to me.”

daeho’s hands slid across your stomach, tracing lazy circles as his lips continued their path. warm kisses along the curve of your neck. gentle, but with a growing hunger. you felt the scratch of his stubble, that perfect contrast of roughness and softness. every kiss lingered, like he was savoring the taste of your skin.

“that little black top,” he murmured, his lips hovering just behind your ear, his voice like honey, “i knew i was done for the second i saw you in it and these jeans? goodness, baby, you knew what you were doing.”

your hands trembled slightly, the fabric in your grip forgotten. your husband’s words wrapped around you, igniting something within. you could feel the strength in his arms as he held you close, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back. the warmth of his breath sent goosebumps across your skin.

“thought about you every minute,” he continued, his hands wandering lower, teasing, “wanted to pull you away so many times but you had to look so sweet, playing with the girls.” daeho’s lips trailed lower down your neck, pausing just at your shoulder, “but now? no distractions.”

you tilted your head slightly, giving him more access as his lips found that sensitive spot. a soft gasp escaped you, your body arching ever so slightly into him. daeho’s low chuckle rumbled against you, his fingers grazing along your hips. 

“say the word,” he whispered, his voice dripping with desire, “and i’ll make sure you don’t think about anything else but me.”

your pulse quickened, every word sinking into you. the door was closed. the house was still. and in this moment, there was only him.

suddenly, the rhythmic hum of the washer that had filled the small space, now came to a sudden halt, the soft beep signaling the end of its cycle.

the timing couldn’t have been more inconvenient…or perhaps, perfectly convenient. you shifted slightly, trying to suppress the smirk threatening to curl your lips as you felt daeho’s hands linger.

“hold that thought,” you teased, your voice low and playful as you pushed him back gently. daeho’s hands slipped from your waist, but the heat of his touch lingered, “i need to get the clothes.”

he groaned softly, the sound vibrating through the air. 

“baby…” his protest was half-hearted, but you could feel his eyes on you as you pulled open the washer, bending just slightly as you reached in to grab the damp laundry. the cool fabric brushed against your skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat radiating from behind you.

daeho wasn’t one to waste an opportunity.

before you could stand back up, you felt his hands return — firm and possessive. they gripped your hips, fingers splaying over the denim of your jeans. your man stepped closer, pressing his bulge through his trousers against the core covering your jeans. the warmth of him was undeniable and the low chuckle that escaped him sent a shiver straight through you.

“you’re really gonna tease me like that?” he murmured, his lips brushing against the back of your neck, sending sparks dancing across your skin, “bending over like that? do you know what you are asking for, my wife?”

you gasped softly, his words igniting something deeper within you. the forgotten laundry clutched in your hands, you bit your lip, the feeling of him so close driving you mad. 

“daeho…” you tried to sound stern, but it came out breathless, and you both knew it.

“what?” he teased, his fingers tracing along your waistline, his voice thick with amusement, “i am just helping you, sweetheart. i can't let you overwork yourself.”

before you could pull the rest of the damp laundry from the washer to switch it over to the dryer, you felt daeho’s strong arms wrap firmly around your waist. he didn’t give you a chance to resist…not that you wanted to. 

with a teasing slowness, he pulled you upright, your back flush against his chest. the heat from his body radiated through the thin black tank top you wore, his touch sending tingles down your spine.  

daeho’s lips grazed the side of your neck, placing feather-light kisses that left your skin burning. you tilted your head slightly, granting him more access as his mouth explored the sensitive spot behind your ear. your man’s hands roamed over your waist, just underneath your underboob, fingers tracing just to get a kick out of you.  

"dae-ho," you murmured, a mixture of amusement and desire in your voice, "we're in the laundry room."  

"and?" he teased, his voice deep and laced with hunger, "you’ve been driving me crazy all day."  

before you could respond, you felt his hands slide lower, fingers toying with the waistband of your jeans. with a deliberate slowness, he reached around, his body still pressed against yours. his fingers worked deftly, popping open the button of your belt with ease.  

"you wore these on purpose, didn’t you?” he murmured, his lips brushing along your jaw as he unfastened the button of your jeans, "you knew exactly what you were doing to me."  

the zipper followed, the sound barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat. daeho’s touch was intoxicating, his hands lingering at your hips as he tugged the denim just slightly, teasing you further. 

the cool air of the laundry room brushed against your thighs as he pushed your jeans down to your ankles, but the warmth of his hands was all you could focus on.  

"tell me to stop," he whispered, his voice low and commanding, though the mischievous glint in his tone made it clear he already knew your answer.  

you swallowed, your breath shaky, "i'm not telling you to stop."  

a satisfied hum rumbled in his chest as he grinned against your skin, "good."  

he pulled your hips back against him, the unmistakable evidence of his desire pressing into you, making it impossible to think of anything else. 

dae-ho trails his fingers down from your underboob down to the top of your black panties. due to waiting all day, dae-ho is impatient as he pushes his fingers through your underwear, immediately feeling your soaked core that greeted his fingers. 

“you’re always so wet for me, so ready.” your man mumbled, his lips lingering against your earlobe as your face contorted in pleasure, feeling his fingers greet your clit softly as your core clenches in desperation for his fingers. 

“b-baby, please.” you moaned, lifting your right leg slightly in order to give his big hands more room to play with your pussy.

“is dae-ho making you feel good?” your husband asks, referring to himself in the third person when he knows that he has you wrapped around his finger… literally. 

“y-yes, fuck!” you clench your teeth when you feel dae-ho’s fingers trace your entrance in a circle, but he doesn’t enter.

before you could fully register what was happening, daeho pulled his hands away from your core. you groan but in one swift movement, he bent you forward, pressing your hips gently so you’re faced in front of the washer. 

you steadied yourself, confusion flickering across your face.

"what... what are you doing?" you managed to ask, your voice laced with amusement and curiosity.  

daeho smirked, his hands rested possessively on your hips as he stood right behind your bent figure, fingers digging in just enough to make you ache for more.  

"you said you had laundry to finish," he whispered, his deep voice sending a wave of warmth through you, "so go on... finish it."  

a shiver ran down your spine at the teasing tone in his voice. you bit your lip, your heartbeat quickening as you reached forward, fingers gripping the damp fabric within the washer. It was almost too easy to get lost in the simple task, but you were painfully aware of the man behind you… the heat radiating from him, the deliberate weight of his gaze.  

just as you pulled a piece of clothing from the machine, you felt the unmistakable sensation of your tank top being pushed upward, cool air brushing against your lower back. then, without warning, daeho's hands pulled your black panties down to your ankles where your jeans are.  your wet pussy glistening all for him. 

"daeho," you breathed, a gasp catching in your throat as he worked the fabric down your legs with agonizing slowness.  

he didn't respond, at least not with words. instead, he knelt slightly, his fingers trailing down the length of your thighs. your black fabric followed effortlessly, discarded like they were nothing. the vulnerability of the moment sent a rush of heat through your veins, and you clutched the piece of damp clothing in your hands tightly, feeling the anticipation coil within you.  

before you could glance back, you heard the distinct sound of a zipper lowering. the gentle jingle of his belt followed, the unmistakable rustle of fabric as he freed himself. your breath quickened, the air thick with desire.  

"still focused on that laundry, baby?" he teased, his voice dripping with amusement.  

your fingers trembled slightly, the damp garment slipping from your hands and falling back into the washer. it didn’t matter. nothing mattered now except the way daeho’s hands gripped your hips once more, grounding you, owning you.  

"didn't think so," he murmured, a dark, satisfied grin curving his lips as he pressed against you. 

daeho’s thick mushroom tip kissed your inner vagina, just in-between your labias, which causes a light whimper to escape your mouth. you realized that daeho was going to make you take him, right here, bent over while standing in the laundry room. 

“stop teasing.” you mumble, but daeho hears you very clearly through the sound of the dryer going. 

“whatever you want, mama.” he says as he slides into you.

the heat of him fills you up, the familiar stretch makes your breath hitch. your fingers reach  up from your bent figure and grip the edge of the washer, the cool metal biting into your palms as your body rocks forward with his first thrust. 

the hum of the machine in front of you vibrates through your hand on the washer, your breasts jumping with each thrust. daeho doesn’t ease into it…his hands clamp onto your hips, rough and possessive, pulling you back to meet him as he drives in deep.

“fuck, you feel so good,” he growls, voice low and ragged, his breath hot against the back of your neck. your husband’s fingers dig into your skin, leaving marks you’ll feel tomorrow, and you can’t help the moan that spills out of you, loud and shameless. 

the angle’s brutal, hitting that spot inside you that makes your legs tremble, your knees threatening to buckle against the laundry room floor. your ass jiggles with every smack of his hips against you, the sound filthy and wet, echoing off the ivory walls.

daeho leans over you, his chest pressing into your back, pinning you down as he picks up the pace. the ex-marine’s thick cock drags against your walls, slick and relentless, each thrust pushing you higher, your clit throbbing even without a touch. 

“you like that, huh?” he murmurs, lips brushing your ear, his teeth grazing the lobe before he bites down just hard enough to sting. you whimper, nodding, too dizzy to form words, your cheek smushed against the washer’s lid.

daeho stands back up, his dominant figure still smashing into your bent over one.

he shifts one hand from your hip, sliding it up your spine, fingers tangling in your hair. he yanks your head back, forcing your back to arch sharper, and the new angle has you seeing stars. 

“look at you, bent over like this for me in the laundry room,” he says, his voice dripping with heat, “you’re taking it so fucking well, mama.” you cry out, the pleasure twisting tight and sharp, your walls clenching around him as he groans, feeling it.

the wet slap of skin on skin drowns out your senses. your thighs burn, slick with sweat and arousal, and you can feel it dripping down, pooling on the floor. daeho’s relentless, pounding into you like he’s trying to break you. he has needed this all day, and your teasing brought you here. 

you’re so close, teetering on the edge, every nerve lit up and screaming for release.

your voice cracks as you gasp out, “i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum,” the words tumbling from your lips in a breathless chant. the vibrations of the washer against your hand is rattling to your ribs as daeho’s cock slams into you, relentless and deep. 

your walls flutter around him, tightening with every thrust, and the pressure building low in your belly feels like it’s about to snap.

“do it,” daeho growls, his voice thick with lust, rough like gravel, “cum for me, don’t hold back.” your husband’s hands grip your hips tighter, bruising, pulling you back onto him with a force that makes your eyes roll. 

he’s lost in it too, his breaths ragged, his thrusts growing erratic as he chases his own edge. 

“fuck, you’re so wet,” he groans, and you can hear the strain in his voice, feel the way his cock throbs inside you, heavy and pulsing.

“please,” you beg, voice shaking, “cum inside me, daeho, you feel so fucking good.” it’s a plea, raw and needy, your nails scraping the washer’s edge as you teeter right on the brink. the thought of him spilling into you, hot and thick, tips you over. 

your orgasm hits like a tidal wave, ripping through you with a force that makes your vision blur. you squirt hard, a gush of wet heat exploding from you, drenching his cock and splashing onto the laundry room floor in messy, glistening streaks.

the pleasure’s blinding…your legs shake uncontrollably and daeho groans is loud, primal, feeling you soak him, your slick coating his thighs as he drives in one last time. 

“shit, that’s it,” he mutters, voice breaking, and then he’s there…his cock jerks inside you, flooding you with a rush of warmth as he cums, thick spurts painting your walls. the sensation’s overwhelming, a rush that has him gripping you harder. your pussy clenches around him, milking every last drop.

you’re both panting, wrecked, the air thick with the smell of sex and the damp sound of your combined release dripping onto the floor. your knees buckle, but he holds you up, his arms trembling as he presses himself against you, savoring the afterglow of it all.

using your hands, you push yourself up from the bent position using the washer, legs wobbly as you straighten, a sharp, delicious ache blooming between your thighs. 

every movement sends a feeling through you, a reminder of how thoroughly daeho had taken you apart simply because you’ve walked around the house wearing a nice casual outfit that day. 

you grimace slightly, shifting your weight, the soreness pulsing deep, your slick skin still tender from the intensity.

daeho notices, his eyes flicking to you with a knowing smirk as he pulls his pants back up. 

“need help with the laundry?” he offers, voice low and teasing, that smug edge to his grin making your cheeks flush despite yourself.

you roll your eyes, a playful scoff escaping your lips, “oh, i think you’ve given me enough help already,” you quip, voice dripping with mock exasperation, though the smile tugging at your mouth betrays you. your thighs press together instinctively, feeling the mess he’s left behind, and he chuckles softly at your sass.

“c’mere,” he says, stepping closer, his tone softening. he grabs a clean towel from the pile on the dryer, kneeling down with surprising gentleness. daeho’s hands are careful as he wipes between your legs, the fabric soft against your sensitive skin, cleaning up the sticky mix of your release and his. 

you flinch slightly at the touch, still raw, but his fingers linger just long enough to make sure you’re comfortable. daeho moves to the floor, mopping up the wet streaks you’d left behind, the evidence of your pleasure now gone, though the memory hums in the air between you.

when he’s done, he stands, tossing the towel into the ‘dirty towels’ hamper with a casual flick. 

“‘m gonna go check on the girls, i promise I'll love on you later,” he says, glancing back at you with a loving grin, his dark hair still mussed from earlier. you smile back, warm and soft, watching as he strides out of the laundry room, his broad shoulders disappearing around the corner. 

the ache between your legs lingers, but so does the quiet satisfaction, settling deep in your chest.

kang family series linked here

author's note: this took four days to write. I hope this is good for y'all lol im kinda nervous for the response💔

taglist: @chunkzdeluluwife , @theredvelvetbitch , @martinasr00 , @ameliahaa , @googie-jeon , @casually-simping , @erinkeenan , @thewinterv , @breakmeoff , @breeisaslay22 

[jjenthusee]

Safe House

Pairing: Red Hood x Reader

A/N: I love the idea of being afraid of Red Hood, but at the same time sharing only one brain cell with him lol ENJOY :) comment, reblog, and like if u can <3

check out pt. 2 here!

Summary: The Red Hood took you back to his safe house, as a hostage? a witness? Doesn’t matter when you can’t help but snoop around the vigilante’s safe house.

Tags: unhinged Jason, annoying that muscular man would be my love language, chaotic duo, banter, another part if u all want one??

Word Count: 706

If someone told you that you would spend your evening sweeping the floor of Red Hood’s safe house, you would not be expecting to be ten dollars richer, but you stood there, diligently sweeping the entire box of loose-leaf tea that you accidentally dropped while snooping around.

Dark tea was scattered across the old, but clean floorboards. You grimaced at the thought of tiny tea leaves permanently stuck in the crevices of the wooden floor.

You figured that when you are a leading crime lord, you constantly deal with too many unknown bodily fluids and pick up a few award-winning cleaning habits.

What’s worse is that you clumsily dirtied that leading crime lord’s current home.

“I’m so dead.” You stared wide eyed at the mess you created.

After sweeping together a neat pile, you went back to the small storage closet you found to grab the dustpan. It paid off to snoop because you found Red Hood’s broom and hopefully could clean everything before he came back.

All his supplies were neatly arranged with a proper place for all of his cleaning products. Broom and mop hung on the wall, shelves organized by the type of disinfectant, towels and rags neatly folded.

It was scarily neat.

“Maybe I can offer a lifelong employment as a maid?” You somberly laughed to yourself, almost in a craze that you were on the verge of panicking and laughing hysterically.

As you murmured to yourself, you spotted some sprinkles of tea that escaped you.

“I just don’t want a bullet hole between my eyes.” You sighed.

You located the dustpan hanging where you grabbed the broom earlier, intentionally avoiding eye contact with the gun mounted to the edge of the shelf with the disinfectant sprays.

“I’m so screwed.” You told yourself.

“Yeah you are.” A voice boomed behind you.

You threw the dustpan in your hand at the direction of the voice, in your frightened state you didn’t even bother aiming and the plastic dustpan flew past Red Hood’s side.

You stepped back into the closet as you panicked, hearing numerous bottles fall behind you. One by one crashing into another as a final bottle rolled to your shoe.

Your face scrunched at the clear mess you couldn’t see but heard.

“Red! Hey, oh wow, you’re back. I missed you, really, I stayed just like you said—“

“I said to stay over there.” He lazily nodded in the direction of a lonely wooden chair in the corner facing the wall.

“Are you kidding me? I look like I’m a toddler in time out if I sit over there.” You were in disbelief.

“You are.” He looked at the mess you made behind you and the small pieces of tea still spread out on the floor.

A modulated sigh voiced out his helmet.

You were so dead.

“Move.” Red nudged you aside, making his way to the doorway of the storage closet. “How did you make such a mess?”

You saw him bend down, picking up bottles and reorganizing the messy shelves. You curiously looked over his shoulder when you noticed he stopped, he reached for something out of your view.

You froze, remembering the mounted gun.

Your heart started to race as your eyes nervously glanced his way. Then, like you were in slow motion, you watched Red slowly stand up, towering over you as you could only watch the back of his shoulders straighten.

He turned, so slowly you wanted to scream.

“Don’t shoot me!” You yelled, covering your hands over your head in a lame attempt to somehow protect yourself from a bullet.

“You idiot, I’m giving you a dust brush!” Red held out the brush in his hand, no weapon in sight.

“Oh.” You moved your hands back down.

“Now sweep up the shit you spilled. You threw the dustpan earlier so find it.” Red spoke in annoyance.

“Dammit.” You sighed.

“Do I need to remind you that this is your mess?”

“Fine, fine. Don’t get your helmet in a twist.” You grabbed the dust brush, trying not to give the Red Hood one last side eye. You failed. “Stupid tin can.”

“I don’t hear you cleaning!” Jason yelled over his shoulder.

“Alright, alright. I’m going.”

[steveseddie]

asking for a friend

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | prompt: shopping | rating: t | wc: 1000 | tags: modern setting, meet-cute, steve works at target, eddie is a gay disaster, chrissy & eddie are best friends

read on ao3

Eddie hates Christmas shopping.

Every year he puts it off for as long as he can only to end up at fucking Target on December 23rd surrounded by screaming children, mean parents, annoyingly loud Christmas music and more desperate last-minute shoppers.

This year is no exception but Eddie does have someone else to blame.

Steve. Target’s hottest employee.

Eddie saw him for the first time a few weeks ago. He was at the cash register, looking both sexy and adorable in a tight red shirt and a Santa hat as he wished customers a Merry Christmas with a smile that made Eddie’s knees weak.

Knowing that he’d probably embarrass himself if he tried to talk to him, Eddie left the store, flustered and giftless.

A few days later, he came back and the guy– Steve, according to his name tag– was greeting people at the entrance. Eddie didn’t even make it inside that time.

He made a few more attempts but Steve was always there. Restocking toys, fixing the decorations, dressing up mannequins. And every time, Eddie turned on his heel and left.

As Christmas approached, Eddie started getting desperate so he gave Chrissy twenty dollars to find out when Steve wouldn’t be working. She welcomed the money and the excuse to talk to Steve’s coworker, and told Eddie that Steve wouldn’t be here today. And even if Eddie hated the idea of shopping on Christmas Eve Eve, it was his only option.

At least he only has one gift left.

So of course that’s when Eddie sees him. Steve helping a little girl reach a Barbie from the highest shelf.

“What the fuck?” Eddie mutters, hiding behind a mannequin. He peeks around it to make sure he isn’t imagining things, after all he’s been thinking about Steve a lot lately so maybe–

Nope, that��s definitely Steve. He’d recognize that ass in those pants anywhere after watching him through the store’s windows.

“What the fuck?” Eddie repeats, balancing the gifts in one hand so he can call Chrissy.

“Hello?”

Eddie growls. “Chrissy, you bitch.”

“Hello to you too, Eddie.”

“Don’t be cute,” he snaps. “You’re a liar.”

“What?” She asks, confused. “Wait, where are you? I can barely hear you.”

Hell. “Buying Christmas presents.” Same thing really.

“Isn’t it a little late for that?”

“Duh! But I had to wait until Steve wasn’t working, remember? Well, guess who’s here?”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I might’ve– gotten a little distracted talking to Robin and couldn’t remember if he said the 21st or the 23rd. Whoops.”

“You had one job, Cunningham!” Eddie groans. “I want my twenty dollars back.”

“Sorry, I spent them already.“

“On what?”

“Your Christmas present,” she giggles. “Hey, maybe this is a good thing. Talk to him!”

“Fuck no, I’m leaving. Fuck Christmas, it’s a capitalist consumerist ploy anyway.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” she says but Eddie is already heading for the exit.

“I’m not! I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Eddie–”

But Eddie doesn’t hear what Chrissy has to say because in that moment he knocks over a pyramid of toys and faceplants amidst the boxes, his phone and his gifts flying from his hands.

Eddie groans, both from the pain and the embarrassment. He can feel his face already starting to burn and he seriously considers staying there, buried in toys, forever.

At least until someone says, “Christ, are you okay?” and Eddie has no choice but to roll over only to immediately wish he didn’t when he sees Steve leaning over him.

“I’m fine,” he mutters. “What are you doing here?”

Steve offers Eddie his hand, his eyebrow raised in amusement. “Helping you?”

“I mean, here,” Eddie gestures around them. “You aren’t supposed to be working today.”

“That’s not what my manager told me,” Steve jokes while clearly confused.

“It’s what Chrissy told me,” Eddie says, letting Steve effortlessly pull him to his feet.

“Chrissy? The blonde who flirted with Robin?” He asks. “I was confused why she wanted to know if I had any days off.”

Eddie hangs a hand from his neck. “She didn’t. I did.”

Steve frowns. “So you could avoid me? Is that why you never came in or bought anything?”

“It’s just that I always embarrass myself in front of hot guys and I was trying to avoid that!” Eddie sighs. “Obviously, I failed.” Then he realizes what Steve just said and blinks. “Wait, you noticed me?”

Steve’s lips stretch into a flirty grin. “Of course, I always notice cute guys.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, hiding his blush by tugging some hair across his face.

Still grinning, Steve bends down to pick up Eddie’s gifts. “So, want me to ring these up for you?”

Eddie gestures at his mess. “What about the toys?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jason to clean it up,” Steve smirks. “He’s our newest hire. And he’s a dick.”

Eddie chuckles. “Okay.”

They bring the gifts to the cash register and Eddie tries not to blatantly check Steve out as he does his job. Steve’s wink probably means he fails.

“All done!” He says, giving Eddie his bag and the receipt. “Merry Christmas–”

“Eddie.”

Steve grins lopsidedly. “Eddie.”

“Thanks, um, Merry Christmas.” He waves awkwardly.

Then thinks, fuck it. He already embarrassed himself anyway. “Hey, uh, when do you get off?”

“Asking for a friend?” Steve teases.

“Nope.”

Steve’s face splits into a grin. “I’m done in an hour.”

“Wanna get coffee with me? There’s a nice cafe a few blocks away.”

“I’d love to,” Steve says, “I put my number in the receipt, text me and I’ll tell you when I’m on my way.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, he checks the receipt and chuckles. “Cool,” he says, stomach fluttering as he walks away, almost knocking over another toy display because he can’t stop glancing back at Steve.

But he makes it out without embarrassing himself and he has all his gifts and a date with a hot guy.

Maybe Christmas shopping isn’t so bad after all.

[bunny-jpeg]

hello, could i get nanaimo bars with a martini and glass of water on the side with Max Verstappen? also love your little bakery it’s such a cute idea and love your work too!

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? check out the menu! there are tons of prompts for you to choose from to customize your order! and thank you for this lovely person for submitting an order!! i have still been under the weather, but i'm glad that i can finally get back into the groove of writing!

nanaimo bars ("who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it.") + martini (mafia au) + glass of water (aftercare) served by max verstappen (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, mafia au, aftercare, librarian!reader, lingerie, gentle sex, size difference/kink, missionary, max is in love, mafia boss!max

you remembered the first time you felt max's gaze on you. most would've froze at the feeling, like getting ice in the back. but, instead you turned around from the shelf you were in front of and asked, "do you need help looking for something?"

it had been the first time in his adult life that max actually felt a little intimidated. he could easily dispose of you, you had recently moved to the netherlands and had no real social circle. but, you leveled your gaze at him. it was so kind, that it left him a little scared. people were rarely kind to a man like max.

if he had taken off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves, you would've seen the kind of man he was. instead he cleared his throat against his fist and said, "i was wondering if there was a pay phone, my car has broken down and i was always told that libraries were good at helping people." he smiled at you.

you looked at him briefly and said, "alright then sir, we don't have any pay phones. but we have a phone at the front desk you can use. just let me finish up here and i'll be happy to help you."

he then followed you akwardly as you took the elevator with the empty book cart in tow. he even offered to push it for you as you led him to the front desk. you didn't even notice the small whispers and lingering gazes on the both of you, instead you got the phone and held it out to him to dial.

max knew from that moment on that you were going to be a part of his life. in any capacity he could have you, at an arms length or bone crushingly close. and over time, the more you saw of him. you thought the closer the better.

now even after three years together, the lion of holland was still in your space. when he could, he'd visit you at the library branch you worked at. he'd linger around you until it was time for your break. then you two would have lunch together in the small room in the back, amongst the stacks of returned books.

by year three, you knew who max was. he didn't try to hide it from you, he was very honest about it all. what he had done, but you in return simply asked, "if we ever broke up, would you kill me for leaving?"

and max shook his head quickly and said, "no. i could never, even if you were the one to stab me in the back. i could never harm you." and you accepted him. as long as you could still work at the library, you'd love him with all your heart.

even though your job was less than dangerous, but max worried about you being so available to the public. you knew that max kept tabs on you from time to time at work, you had become familiar with the men of max's circle. and sometimes they'd sit at the library. you simply just continued your work.

but on fridays you got to go home early, so you quickly grabbed your belongings and headed into the car. you threw yourself in the passenger side and pulled him in for a soft kiss. he took you by the face and made a soft noise into the kiss.

"someone missed me." he remarked with a chuckle as he placed his hand on your thigh, giving it a good squeeze.

"i was looking forward for today all day. it came in yesterday, and it felt like my shift went even slower than usual!" you sighed dramatically before you giggled at the feeling of your lover's lips on your neck.

"i know, i know. this gift you bought and didn't tell me what it was. you know i don't like secrets. or surprises." he gripped at your thigh for a moment.

you held his strong jaw in your hands, and beamed at him, "it's not easy to keep secrets from you, max. i usually don't keep them, but i wanted this to be special for you. since you're leaving for england in a few days."

"i know, my treasure." he sighed, "but i promise to bring you back something. as a thank you for waiting for me to come home." he leaned in once more to kiss you softly on the lips.

dinner left you feeling anxious, once you were finished you left your boyfriend in the living room while you scurried off to the bedroom to get changed. you felt your pulse quicken as you pulled out the large black box from under the bed.

you got dressed quickly. it wasn't anything too special, it was a white mesh bra and panties, with embroidered details on it. what made it stand out to was not that the embroidery was of flowers or something sweet, but rather lions. something strong and powerful, and your lover was known as the lion of the netherlands, so it was only fitting.

the stockings you wore were a similar colour and before you knew it, you had opened the door to your bedroom and called out, "max, you can come in now!" before you shut the door and almost tripped over yourself getting to the bed. you sat down and tried to pull off a sexy pose, but ended up looking silly.

so you sat there on the edge with your feet dangling just above the floor, you kept your shoulders back to highlight your breasts which were barely covered by the embroidered designs. it was either this or a collar with max's name on it.

the door opened and max stilled in the doorway at the sight of you. his heart leapt as he admired your beauty. the air got caught in his throat and he coughed a little bit. he then said, "you're beautiful."

and you got flustered at his simple words. usually you felt a little insecure, the shape of your face, the size of your eyebrows, the softness of your stomach. you were a librarian, not a model. but max looked at you like you belonged on the cover of vogue.

he approached closer, he started to undo his button up. his chest was so exposed, lined with tattoos that were symbols of his past. he swallowed as he dropped the expensive shirt onto the floor. he worked his belt off and soon he was in nothing but briefs as he got into bed with you. those strong arms wrapped around you with his nose in your hair.

"this was your little surprise, schat." he said in a low tone, his large hands roamed your body, "this was what you had bought for me. thank you, thank you, thank you." he kissed at the side of your neck and you moaned a little bit. you felt the heat in your gut.

"i wanted to make it special for you." you said as you looked into his blue eyes. you beamed at him with your hand on his bare chest, "see they have little lions on them!"

he chuckled and leaned in for a sweet kiss, "it's perfect, my love." he could feel the thump of his cold heart as he smothered you in another kiss. his fingers found the tiny waistband of the underwear and pulled them down.

"i love you, max. all of you, every last scar and tattoo, every last inch of you. i'm lucky to love you." you giggled when he grazed a calloused thumb across your clit. you moaned a little bit and leaned into his touch.

your lips touched once more and his hands found the clasp of the bra. he groaned against the kiss and his erection throbbed against his briefs. he wanted you, this little surprise was beautiful.

the smartest woman he knew also happened to be the more beautiful. he could recall many times you'd bring him a cheesy romance novel and read it to him while he basked in your warmth.

"i love you." he said as he got you onto your back fully. his hands lightly palmed your breasts before he got up on his knees and between your legs.

he eyed your curves, bare in front of him. he palmed himself through his briefs before he got them off with a little help from you. both pairs of hands on his torso and soon he was nude. back between your legs, his hands roamed his thighs for a moment as he got your legs around his waist.

"you're beautiful." he said, "so beautiful." he leaned over you and kissed you on the lips as he slipped his cock into you. every time he had sex with you, or rather made love to you, it felt like a dream.

you blushed a little and wanted to cover your face, you squirmed a little bit at the sweet words that came from your lover's mouth.

"who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it." he coaxed out of you as he thrusted against you.

you said meekly, "i'm your pretty girl."

he chuckled and planted both hands on either side of you for a good angle to thrust his hips against you. he felt the thrill of pleasure in his head as he moved against you. oh, you looked divine. he said softly as he moved his hips against you, "je bent zo mooi, ik wil alleen jou."

you blushed a little bit, "really, no one else."

he shook his head before he leaned in for another kiss, "no one. no one else ever. since the moment i saw you at the library, i knew that i had to be with you."

the praise left a curl in your gut as the two of you moved together. the kisses were deep and you felt the warmth of your lover around you. you panted between the kisses, your heart leapt at the feeling of him so close to you.

"i could never hurt you." he said, "i'd rather skin myself alive then you be without. you are my world, the thing that keeps me human. that i still have a heart."

you replied softly, "max, you've always been human." you pulled him in for a soft kiss as you wrapped your legs around him more. you two moved against one another, you giggled between moans.

"you are my beating heart, my treasure.' he said softly as he continued to move against him. the pleasure was pin pricks across his skin as he thrusted up into you.

you moaned against him, feeling the tug in your chest from his kind words. you knew that max was a dedicated man, when he set his sights on something he'd see it through to the end. that didn't stop with just work, he wanted to make sure that he gave you the perfect life.

and you didn't ask for much, you enjoyed your job and all you needed was his love and support through anything you wished to do. as you kiss once more, you felt his warmth against you.

the two of you moved against one another, you then kissed passionately. his kisses lingered on your skin, he gripped onto the bed under your back and he groaned a little at the sensation through his body.

"please."

"mine."

"forever, my dear. i'll keep you in my heart forever."

his words were honey in your blood, you felt the thrill of him in your body as you clutched onto him.

"i love you."

"i love you too."

you clutched onto your lover's shoulders. your strong, handsome lover. one of the scariest men in the country, if not the continent. he could kill anyone if he so desired, but with you, he was so loving and sweet.

he was your man, and despite all the fear he could instill. he loved you, and that love was felt in every thing he did for you. you kissed him deeply once more as you climaxed. you moaned into the kiss and he continued to thrust up into you. a few more steady thrusts of his hips and he finished inside of you, in the process pulling you in for a deeper kiss.

he slowed his pace and said, "my beautiful girl. please, please let me love you forever."

you pressed a kiss on the small scar on his cheek, an act of sweetness as you replied, "of course, always. you and i are together till you get tired of me." you giggled.

he pulled out and laid down next to you. he draped a heavily tattooed arm across your middle and gazed at you with love in his eyes. his breathing started to even out. he wiped his forehead free of sweat with his other hand before he snuggled further into your side.

he peppered your face with kisses, asking you quietly if you were alright. if you needed anything. he was the king of after care, even when the sex was as gentle as it could be.

he worried for you, as you worried for him.

you looked at him and smiled. there was a sparkle in those blue eyes. he then closed them and stayed close to you. he sighed contently.

"thank you for the gift. i almost tore them off of you, but i want to see them on you again. if i'm the big scary lion, then you're my lioness." he linked his fingers with you then kissed the top of your hand, "now and forever more." <3

[corroded-hellfire]

i saw this tiktok and i was wondering if u could write reader who does this for eddie on valentine’s day?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Ykn9DA/

My deepest apologies that I didn’t get this done in time for Valentine’s Day. Pls blame the flu and pls enjoy this little blurb 💕

Words: 1.6k

“I have no idea what to get him.”

You sigh as you exit the bookstore into the mall atrium. There’s an open table near Orange Julius and you head in its direction. The legs of the chair scrape against the linoleum flooring as you pull it out and gracelessly fall into it. Max takes the seat across the table from you and gives you a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“You’re kidding me, right?” she asks. “You could hand him a Q-tip and he’d be thrilled. Eddie doesn’t give a shit about presents. But he’s completely over the moon for you.”

“I know.” Despite the whine in your tone, there’s a smile on your face. It still feels like you have to pinch yourself every time you think about how much Eddie loves you. “I just want to give him something meaningful. That he’ll truly like. What did you get Lucas?”

Max shrugs and inspects the nails on her right hand.

“Nothing yet. There’s still plenty of time between now and Valentine’s Day for him to piss me off. So I’ll probably end up getting him something that I want too, in case he’s an asshole and I decide to keep it.”

“You’re no help.” You slide down in your chair and run your hands over your face.

The competing smells off the food court waft over to you. As appealing as they’d usually be, you’re too stressed to be tempted by any of it. Despite Max’s claim that there’s plenty of time between now and Valentine’s Day, one week didn’t seem like a whole lot of time for you to find the perfect gift for your boyfriend. Nothing jumped out at you in the bookstore—except the books you know Eddie already has and loves. None of the clothes in these new fashionable stores had anything that Eddie would wear. That significantly narrows down the shopping options at Starcourt.

Your eyes scan over the stores that are visible from your seat at the table and your attention snags on Guitar Center. Without speaking a word to your friend, you push yourself out of the hard chair and head towards the store. Max follows along behind you, heaving a small sigh.

“Do you have any idea what you’re looking for?” Max asks as you look at the different electric guitars displayed high up on a wall.

“Not a clue.”

Max nods her head as she strums her fingers along the strings of an acoustic guitar at eye level.

“What if you made something for Eddie?” she asks.

“I thought about that,” you answer with a sigh. “I just don’t know what I’d–huh.”

The abrupt cut-off of your sentence catches Max’s attention and she attempts to follow your line of sight. She’s left confused though when she sees your gaze trained on a medium-sized bag of blue and green guitar picks.

“Um…” Max hums and slips her hands into the back pockets of her jeans when you never complete your thought. “Care to share with the class?”

You cock your head to the side as you look at the picks.

“Well, it’s just…” You take a few steps forward and grab the package from the shelf. “These kind of remind me of flower petals. What if there was a way I could…”

“Yes!” The redhead excitedly steps around you so that you’re speaking face-to-face. “You could use a wire as the stems.”

This is the first real idea you’ve had for a present for Eddie but…

“It’s not…dumb, is it? Like, childish to make this for him?”

“Childish? Are you kidding me?” Max’s eyebrows don’t look like they can raise any higher on her forehead. “Babe, our boyfriends are in a club where they play a fantasy game. With made-up magical characters. Do you remember what the last new character that Lucas came up with was named? Sir Shits-a-lot. And all the guys found it hilarious.”

“And he had the power to give everyone else diarrhea yeah…” You sigh and nod your head, remembering that very long week.

“Right,” Max says. “So, I think these homemade flowers are exquisitely elegant in comparison.”

With a nod of finality, you grip the picks tighter in your hand.

“Thanks, Lady Shits-a-lot.”

When Valentine’s Day arrives, you have the bouquet nicely tucked into a box, wrapped up with a red bow. Eddie’s van pulls into your driveway at 7:02am like clockwork, and you hop inside with your backpack and gift.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Eddie greets, his smile bright and his cheeks red from the cold outside.

“Happy Valentine's Day, Eds!” You lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. It’s not good enough, apparently, as Eddie whines and chases your mouth with his own. With a soft chuckle, you press your lips to his and give him a proper kiss.

“Thank you,” he says pointedly. “And happy Valentine's Day to you, my love.”

You drop your backpack at your feet and settle the gift box in your lap. When you raise your head you see there’s a gift wrapped in red paper sitting on the dashboard between you and Eddie.

“Should we wait, or…?” He asks when he sees you spot the present. “I don’t know if you had some plan or idea or anything but I’m just really fucking excited to give you your present.”

“Screw plans,” you say and gently toss Eddie’s gift into his lap. “I’m excited too.”

“See? This is why we’re perfect together.” Your boyfriend winks, grabs your present off the dashboard, and hands it to you. “You go first.”

It’s impossible to get any traction on the wrapping paper while wearing your black mittens, so you tug them off and go at it again. The wrapping tears away to reveal a purple paperback book staring up at you, the cover dotted in imagery that you’ve come to know quite well. D20s and various other D&D symbols surround the title that’s in bold black letters: “Dungeons and Dates.”

“It’s a romancey kind of book, but the love interest is a Dungeon Master in his school’s D&D club,” Eddie says. You look over at him to see him grinning nervously. “It’s me!”

With a gentle chuckle, you lean over and press kisses all along his mouth.

“I love it. I can’t wait to read it.”

“Really?” Eddie doesn’t look completely sold.

“Yes,” you insist, picking the book up from your lap. “It’s about damn time someone wrote a love interest that’s almost as amazing as my boyfriend.”

Eddie’s cheeks turn a slightly darker shade of red, but this time it’s not from the weather.

“Okay, my turn,” he says.

Nimble fingers quickly undo the bow on the box, and before reaching to take the lid off, he slips the red ribbon beneath his curly locks and uses it to tie his hair into a low ponytail. You chuckle fondly as you reach out and stroke the bunched-up curls. The red definitely looks good in his dark hair.

Back to business, Eddie lifts the lid off the box and sets it down between the two of you. You study his face as he looks down at his present. It takes a few seconds for Eddie’s eyes to absorb what he’s seeing and his brain to figure out what it is.

“Holy shit.” Eddie reaches down and gently picks up the bouquet by its thick silver base stem. He turns it this way and that, the dim sunlight coming through the front windshield reflecting on the diverting branches of thin wire and the marbled blues and greens that make up the petals. “This is so fucking cool. Where did you get it?”

“I made it.”

Your words cause Eddie to take his eyes off his present for the first time. The look of shock on his face grows as he widens his eyes and his plump pink lips part.

“You…made this?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie looks back at the flowers, appreciating them in a whole new light as he tries to find how they were put together.

“How?” he asks.

“Just some wires, picks, and pliers,” you say with a shrug.

“Sweetheart, this is…incredible. Holy shit.”

His praise warms your cheeks and your heart.

“You really like them?”

Eddie glances over at you and his expression asks if you’re crazy.

“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever gotten. Thank you, baby. Thank you so much.”

You reach over and take his free hand in your own.

“You are very welcome.”

You just watch as Eddie keeps inspecting his present from every angle.

“We should get a vase and some water to put these in.” The quirk on one side of his mouth clues you in that he’s kidding around.

“Ah, yes,” you say with a sigh. “Just what they need: rust.”

Eddie laughs and brings your entwined hands up to his mouth to kiss along your knuckles.

“Think I can leave them in the van for the day? I’d hate for them to shrivel up and die.”

Now you roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s goofiness.

“I think they’ll survive,” you reply. “They’re pretty tough.”

“Or I can just bring them in and show off to everyone how much my girl spoils me. How goddamn lucky I am.”

You grin. “Will you make a grand display of showing them off? Say, by walking across cafeteria tables and making a proclamation for the entire room to hear?”

“Yeah, that sounds like me.” Eddie gives you a wink.

“How romantic,” you coo, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

He throws you another wink.

“Only the best for my Valentine.”

[westanleovaldito]

Nosferatu

(Implied early seasons) Spencer Reid x gn!eader

Summary: upon seeing the book on his shelf, you offer to take him to the new Nosferatu movie. You were, however, very in the dark about the plot.

A/N: kinda short, been a bit since i wrote something (or watched the movie) and my brother gave me this idea so credit to @ericthebarbaric and yall know i love early seasons Spence, so technically counts as a modern au?? Fuck if i know. Also very self endulgent and Nosferatu spoilers :)

All you wanted was to go on a date. A nice one too. You saw the old, worn, clearly loved copy of a book on his shelf, and recognized it as the movie that recently came out.

Naturally, you reached to look at it. Squatting down as you looked at the inside summary.

"Oh, do you want to borrow that copy?" He asked as he entered the livingroom, still wringing his hands. "You can read it if you want?"

You, knowing borrowing knowledge was his love language, only shook your head as you stood. "It's ok. I just got an idea though." You smile, cocking your head.

He mirrored you, waiting for you to continue.

"There's a remake in theaters," you start with a grin. So, so proud of yourself for doing something he'd like. "We can watch it together if you want?"

His face flushed. He wasn't used to people flirting with him- especially not pretty people. You had been dating for about three months now, and you had just accepted that his shell would be hard to break.

"Do you- do you know what it's about?" He asked, raising a brow.

You shrugged, humming softly. "Lonely victorian girl summons plague-y vampire?"

"Sure." He let out a soft chuckle, nodding as a knowing grin overtook him. "It'll be fun."

"Hell yeah it will!" You smiled, setting the book back.

The morning was lovely. Sunny with a colder breeze. Bagel and coffee in hand, you walked down the street with Spencer, playfully pushing his shoulder with your own as you teased him. It was great! Even as you sat in the empty theater, whispering and giggling to eachother.

The lights dimmed fully, signaling the advertisements and trailers were completely done. You gave a final whisper to him, grinning as you leaned a little closer.

You were still hyper aware of his quirks, touch aversion, germaphobia, and his need to take things at what felt like snails pace- which you were patient with! Today, you felt like holding his hand, but you were unsure of how he'd react and-

Oh right, the film.

The image of a lonely victorian girl, praying for company made you chuckle slightly. "That's just me when you leave." You whispered to him.

It looked a little like his face had flushed, he always blushed when you spoke closer to him. Still, he nodded and help back a giggle.

Something about the knowing smirk on his face, like he was the one making a joke this time, it made you happy and suspicious at the very same time.

You looked back to the screen to see the main woman writhing and moaning, suspended in the air. "Huh..." you vocalized in a clearly shoked tone. "Id she possessed? I wasnt- Is she orgasming?!" You whisper yelled in mild horror.

There was soft, restricted giggle beside you, followed by the crunch of popcorn. You looked over to see Spencer, face bright red, just before he looked away.

"Did you know about this?!" You asked, knowing the answer.

You knew he adored classic literature, but you forgot classic literature got... modern, in ways. Was there even smut in the book itself? Dr. Spencer Walter Reid read vampire smut?!

"I don't know what you're talking about" he grinned after gulping. His eyes were fixed on the bottom left corner of the screen, clearly flustered.

"Are you getting back at me for all the subtle flirting?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he repeated with a flushed giggle, shoving more popcorn in his mouth.

The entire rest of the film was full of your shock, Spencer trying not to look at anything and the both of you stifling laughter.

At the end of the film, at the final sex scene, when the evil vampire (who was horrifically bullied by you) screamed as the sun hit him, you grinned. "Post nut clarity" you whispered, much to the dismay of the one other woman in the theater, since the man next to you let out the loudest laugh of the day.

This, ofcourse, was followed by the most disgusted "ewugh!" Either of you had ever made at the sight of the last shot of the movie.

"So, did you enjoy it?" Spencer asked at the end when the lights came on. You finally got to see the full extent of his reddened face.

You paused, attempting to find the right words. "It was scarring" you smile and nod, much to his amusment. "I think i would've enjoyed it more if i was prepared for the, uh... graphic nature"

He nodded, tossing the popcorn bucket away and gesturing for you to link arms. "I just wanted to see you flustered for once."

"You could've done literally anything else- maybe do something spontaneous or-"

Before you could finish, he grinned. Leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Li-like that?" He asked, clearly in horror of his own actions. Initiating physical affection was something he was trying to do more of, and you would be proud of him in a moment.

All you could do was pause and blink like the windows loading screen. "Uh... y-yeah" you nod, looking to him with a growing smile. "Exactly like that"

[h4nj1sunggg]

who? minsung x fem!reader genre: drabble a/n: I'm so sorry for not posting much but my exam session is killing me, I'll be back in two weeks!! wait for me >:)

minsung poly! where y/n is looking for some cat's food in a small shop, talking on the phone with a friend about the crazy idea of being a cat mom in her 20s, totally not expecting to see minsung kissing gin the hall where cat toys are.. and they notice her after, her mouth open wide in surprised like 'what the actual fuck is that', them being confused but then they notice the freaking miso's photo card on your pic holder attached to the bag that you're holding up.

"calling you later," you whispers a the phone, trying to take a step back and going from where you were coming, when a voice stops you, "wait!"

Your heart races as you clutch the phone in one hand and your bag in the other, fully prepared to disappear back down the aisle. But before you can make your grand escape, the voice stops you.

“Wait!” It’s Jisung. Of course, it’s Jisung. His voice is unmistakable—soft yet commanding in a way that sends chills down your spine.

Every instinct in your body screams at you to keep walking, to pretend you didn’t see the two men you’ve idolized for years kissing in the middle of a cat aisle like it’s the most normal thing in the world. But your feet betray you, and you turn around, clutching your phone and bag like they’re shields against the chaos you just witnessed.

“What?” you croak out, your voice shaky. Your gaze is glued to a suspiciously fluffy cat bed on the shelf behind them, absolutely refusing to make eye contact.

“Hey, no need to act like you just saw a ghost,” Jisung says, his tone light but clearly uneasy. “We’re just… uh, hanging out?”

“Is that what they call it?” you mutter under your breath, still avoiding their eyes as your brain replays the scene on loop like a cursed gif.

Minho, who has been silent so far, steps closer, arms crossed, and raises an eyebrow at your reaction. “You look like we’ve traumatized you for life.”

You blink rapidly, gripping your bag tighter. “I—uh—nope, not traumatized,” you lie, your voice an octave too high. “Just… buying cat food. Totally normal day. Nothing weird happened. Haha!”

It’s a terrible attempt at deflection, and they both know it.

Jisung looks between you and Minho, clearly trying not to laugh. “Are you… scared of us?” he asks, tilting his head like a confused puppy. “We’re not gonna eat you or something.”

“That’s what someone scary would say,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. You cringe immediately, heat rushing to your face. “I mean, no! I’m fine. This is fine. You guys do… whatever you’re doing. I’ll just…” You gesture vaguely toward the opposite end of the aisle. “…go that way.”

“Not before you explain this,” Minho says, pointing to the photo card of them hanging from your bag.

Your soul leaves your body. “Oh, that? It’s… uh… it came with the bag?” you try, wincing internally. Minho’s unimpressed stare tells you he isn’t buying it.

“She’s a fan,” Jisung says, grinning like he’s cracked some big mystery. “Right? That’s why you’re so weird right now—you know us.”

“Who? Me? A fan?” You laugh awkwardly, taking a shaky step back. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

Minho rolls his eyes, clearly over the theatrics. “You’ve got Minsung’s photo card on your bag, and you’re buying cat food. Do you think we’re dumb?”

You open your mouth to argue, but all that comes out is a strangled squeak. The reality of the situation hits you all over again: you just caught two of your favorite idols making out, and now they’re grilling you in a pet store aisle.

“Nope. Nope, I can’t do this,” you mutter, shaking your head and taking another step back. “I didn’t see anything. This didn’t happen. You guys don’t exist. Bye.”

Minho and Jisung exchange a quick glance as you attempt to bolt, but Jisung steps forward, his hands raised like he’s trying to calm a frightened animal. “Wait, wait, wait! Just… can we talk? Please? We don’t bite. Minho looks scary, but I promise he’s harmless.”

“I am scary,” Minho deadpans, but the flicker of concern in his eyes betrays him.

You freeze mid-step, throwing them a look over your shoulder. “Talk? About what? How you were just kissing in public, where literally anyone could see you? What were you thinking?”

Minho’s jaw tightens. “We didn’t exactly plan on putting on a show,” he says coolly. “It’s not like this place is packed.”

“Packed or not, I saw it!” you hiss, jabbing a finger at yourself. “A fan. Do you know how risky that is? What if I wasn’t—” You stop yourself, realizing you’re dangerously close to spilling your entire identity as a devoted STAY. “What if I wasn’t, you know… normal about this?”

Jisung blinks at you, a little taken aback. “You’re not exactly being normal now, to be fair.”

You glare at him, and his grin falters as Minho nudges him hard in the ribs. “Not helping,” Minho mutters under his breath before turning back to you. “Okay, fine. You caught us. We get it. But you’re not going to, like… shout it from the rooftops or something, right?”

You blink at him. “Shout it from the rooftops? Do I look like someone who’s ready to start a scandal? I’m too busy trying to figure out how to scrub this from my memory.” You shake your head, exhaling sharply. “Seriously, what were you thinking? You’re Lee Minho and Han Jisung, not two random guys in love at a grocery store. You cannot just… make out next to the catnip and hope no one notices.”

Jisung winces, glancing nervously down the aisle. “Okay, yeah, when you put it like that, it sounds bad.”

“It is bad,” you emphasize, lowering your voice but still gesturing wildly. “Do you have any idea how many fans would lose their minds over this? You’re so lucky it was me and not some TikTok-obsessed fangirl ready to post a blurry video.”

Minho’s expression shifts to something like mild panic, his cool demeanor cracking just enough to reveal a hint of worry. “Okay, okay, we get it. You made your point. But you’re not going to tell anyone, right?”

“Why should I?” you counter, crossing your arms. “I’m just saying, maybe next time, don’t risk it. Especially not in a pet store of all places.”

Jisung leans toward Minho, whispering loud enough for you to hear, “She’s scarier than my mom.”

Minho’s lips twitch into a smirk. “She’s got a point, though.”

You huff, adjusting the strap of your bag. “Look, I don’t want to ruin your lives or anything. I just… didn’t expect to see that when I came in here to buy cat food. So if we can all agree to pretend this didn’t happen, I’ll just—”

“You promise?” Minho cuts in, his sharp eyes locking onto yours. It’s not intimidating—it’s pleading.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “What, do you want me to sign an NDA or something?”

As you turn to leave, Minho suddenly calls out, “Wait.”

You freeze mid-step, again. Slowly, you turn back around, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “What now? Are you going to ask me to swear on my future cat’s life or something?”

Minho smirks faintly at your sarcasm but doesn’t take the bait. “No. I just think we should… exchange numbers.”

Your eyes narrow. “Exchange numbers? For what?”

“For… secret privacy,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Secret privacy?” you repeat, deadpan.

Jisung snickers beside him, biting back a laugh. “Wow, hyung, that’s not suspicious at all.”

Minho glares at him before returning his attention to you. “Look, in case something happens. You know, if you accidentally let something slip or decide to post about this.” He shrugs. “I’d like a way to contact you.”

You blink, processing his words. “So, what? You’re giving me your number as a bribe to keep my mouth shut?”

“More like insurance,” Minho corrects, crossing his arms.

“Insurance,” you echo. “Right. Because that doesn’t sound shady at all.”

“Hey, you’re the one who saw us kissing in a pet store,” Minho counters, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not exactly in the position to judge.”

You open your mouth to argue, but Jisung chimes in, grinning. “To be fair, he’s got a point. This is all a little… unconventional, isn’t it?”

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Fine. Give me your number. But if you start spamming me with cat memes or asking for cat food recommendations, I’m blocking you.”

Minho pulls out his phone, his smirk widening. “Noted.”

“Wait, hold on,” Jisung interrupts, eyes sparkling with mischief. “If she gets your number, I should give her mine, too. For fairness, you know. And, uh, backup insurance.”

“Backup insurance?” you ask, half-laughing, half-exasperated.

“Yeah, in case Minho forgets to text you or something,” Jisung says with a grin. “You never know.”

You roll your eyes but hand over your phone anyway. “You two are ridiculous,” you mutter as Minho types in his number, followed by Jisung.

“Ridiculous, but memorable,” Jisung quips, winking as he hands your phone back.

You stare at the new contacts saved in your phone, feeling like you’ve just signed up for something you’re not entirely sure about. “Okay. I’ve got your numbers. Are we done now? Can I go buy my cat food in peace?”

Minho nods, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. Just… don’t forget your promise.”

“And don’t forget to text us if you ever need cat advice!” Jisung adds cheerfully, earning another glare from Minho.

You shake your head, turning to walk away for what you hope is the final time. “I’m never shopping here again,” you mutter under your breath, clutching your bag tightly.

As you leave the store, you can’t help but glance at your phone again, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. You have the numbers of Lee Minho and Han Jisung in your contacts… and all because they couldn’t resist kissing in a pet store.

[targayrenss]

.the perfect gift-eddie munson

(weird gf series)

Author's note: I love blythe dolls and I really want a custom one, I thought about them while writing this, I tried not to describe her too much so you can imagine her as you do <3

Eddie knew your huge doll collection perfectly, the first time he walked into your room that was the first thing he saw.

“Wow honey, do you have a daughter I don’t know about?”

You explained to Eddie that the first of the entire collection was one that your father had given you for your fourth birthday.

After that you found a fascination with dolls, some people tend to think that the way you dress and act is because you didn’t receive love as a child or some shit like that.

But in reality your parents loved you a lot, especially your dad, he had given you most of the dolls that adorned your shelves.

“Dad gave me a personalized doll once for my birthday, my brother ripped off its head, I cried for months even kept the head, now it looks cool I guess”

Eddie listened attentively to your little story as you pointed at the doll head, he could see that it resembled you only a few different things that you had changed about yourself while discovering your style.

That story gave him the best idea in the world.

He was like crazy looking all over Hawkins for someone who could help him but apparently there were no places that could give him the help he needed, so he did it himself.

He bought a doll at the thrift store, asked Dustin's mom for help to learn how to sew and that's how he gave you the best birthday present.

All his friends were gathered at your house, eating cake while chatting when Eddie came back with a box in his hands.

“Well birthday girl I think it's time for presents”

He handed you the box while you looked at him with a silly smile

“I said no presents eds”

He rolled his eyes “just open it”

You laughed as you opened the box, your smile quickly disappeared as you looked at the contents.

Eddie looked at you anxiously waiting for a reaction from you.

“So what do you think?”

A small scream came out of you, you couldn't believe your eyes.

Your brothers and friends looked at you in confusion.

“What is it?”

You took out the doll, careful not to hurt it.

“It’s me.”

It was a mini you, your skin color, the huge eyes that this style of doll usually has, but with your eye color. The doll had all your piercings and tattoos. You looked at the drawings that simulated the ink that adorned your body. By instinct, you lifted her dress, seeing that she had even drawn the invisible tattoos that you have. Everything was perfectly detailed.

You looked at Eddie with your puppy eyes, you put the doll back in its box and then stood up, approaching Eddie.

You gave him a small kiss on the lips. “It’s the best gift I’ve received in years. Thank you very much, Eddie.”

You and Eddie were laying on your bed just hanging out.

Your eyes found the mini you on your doll shelf “do you think when I die my soul will be locked inside it? It would be nice if you could take me everywhere like that”

Eddie laughed as he gave you a small kiss on the head “shit, I can’t imagine that”

You raised your head to look at him “but you would still love me right?”

He just laughed as he nodded “for you I would put my soul inside a chucky”

You kissed his silly smile “that will keep me calm until I die”

[sweetsreverie]

could you write a drabble where darry’s girlfriend is totally adored by the rest of the boys and she’s almost motherly to them?

bro... thank you for planting this idea in my head ♡︎

pairing: darry curtis x f!reader wc: 972 warnings/notes: none

You met Darry six months ago while you were at the grocery store. You were clearly having trouble trying to reach something on the top shelf and he offered to help you, retrieving the item and handing it to you with a charming, kind smile. The two of you ended up talking in the spice aisle for nearly ten minutes before you both realized that you had places to be. Darry had scribbled his home phone number on your grocery list before leaving. Since then, you mostly saw him on the weekends when he wasn’t working, or on the rare occasion that he wasn’t totally exhausted after work, you would see him for dinner.

It took a while for him to introduce you to his brothers, and eventually the rest of their little gang. But when he did, he came to notice that the boys treated you differently than anyone else. They seemed to respect you, and they didn’t really pick on you or mess with you like they did other people. That was also partially because you seemed to take care of them, and honestly you didn’t even think much of it. You just found yourself doing little things for them here and there. It started with you cleaning up Darry’s work boots one night, and then you ironed Sodapop’s work shirt one day while he was running late for work, and you’ve helped Ponyboy with his homework on multiple occasions when he was struggling through his math homework. 

It made Darry’s heart swell, especially when you took care of Ponyboy and Soda. Ever since their mom died, they haven’t had a female, or even somewhat of a motherly figure in their life. Darry could be tough on them, so having your gentle nature around was almost comforting for them.

Today you had the day off of work so you spent some time at the Curtis’ house. Darry was working so you tried to clean up the place to take it off of his shoulders. Besides, you sometimes spent the night with Darry and ate dinner with them, so you figure you might as well pull your own weight and treat the place as your own. 

“You know Y/N, this ain’t even your house. You don’t have to clean up after us.” Pony says while he sits on the couch and Johnny sits on the floor near the coffee table, and the two of them were playing ‘go fish’.

“Well- I stay here enough and eat enough of yall’s food, I might as well. And I don’t want Darry to have to worry about it when he gets back from work.” You explain as you wipe down the kitchen table with a damp cloth.

Ponyboy smiles softly at that before he looks down at the cards in his hand. “Well… I know that Darry really appreciates it. He probably don’t show it or say it, but… I know he does.” Pony tells you with a little nod.

“I just know he’s got a lot on his plate, and I don’t see you boys helping him clean up much.” You say, the teasing tone clear in your voice while you grin over at Pony. Pony’s expression turns sheepish immediately, and Johnny even chuckles at your playful scolding.

Later that evening when Darry comes home, you stand in the kitchen with him while you two wait for dinner to finish cooking. After a few moments, Darry turns to you as you’re leaning against the counter.

“You know, Ponyboy told me you scolded him like a mother today.” Darry says, and you groan and shake your head.

“I did not! I was just messing with him-” You insist, and Darry laughs.

“He knows that, doll face. I just… think it’s funny. You really do take care of us.” Darry says with a little smile while he reaches for your hand.

You think about it for a second, and you realize that you really do take care of these boys.

“Well… you’re my boys. And someone’s gotta keep some order around here.” You tell Darry with a grin. You hear the front door open, and you poke your head out from around the doorway to see Sodapop and Steve.

“Aht aht, don’t bring them dirty boots in the house. Leave ‘em on the porch.” You tell the two of them, and Ponyboy laughs as they turn back around and begin to take their boots off on the porch.

When you turn back to Darry in the kitchen, the man is just grinning from ear to ear.

“What were you saying about keeping order around here?” He asks jokingly and you can’t help but laugh.

“Hell, even Dally listens to you. You must have instilled some kinda fear in him or something.”

You laugh at that and shake your head, and you move closer to Darry so you’re tucked in his side.

“But… really. Ever since our folks passed, Pony and Soda haven’t really had… a woman to care for them, or like.. A mother figure. If you know what I mean.” Darry tries to explain, and you nod while giving him a little smile.

“I understand, Darry. Really- and… I’m happy to be that for them. I know I can never replace your mom, and I don’t want to- but… I’m happy to look after them. I know it's hard for you to do on your own.” You explain to Darry, and he lets out a quiet sigh while he looks down at you with an expression of admiration.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” Darry asks, and you laugh softly.

“Yeah. Once or twice I think.” You tease him lightly before the two of you carry on with making dinner before the boys in the living room start getting too rowdy.

[enwoso]

naughty elf | alessia russo x child!reader

twelve days of christmas | day 1

based on this request

when alessia first saw the idea of doing elf on the shelf for the month until christmas, she thought it would be a cute wholesome idea and since you were a little older you would probably become a fond memory to look back on in years to come.

the key word however was thought, as she was now wondering why nobody told how much work it was to do in such a small amount of time. now she knew why not everyone did it with their children.

but still alessia was determined to finish it, and with only ten days left she was sure she could pull through. so after a bit of a gruelling day, a long day of training for the champions league match in a few days time and an even harder job of trying to put you to bed after the excitement of santa visiting your nursery today.

still though she managed and the clock had just struck half nine. walking into the lit kitchen the blonde made a beeline for the coffee machine, putting a coffee pod in and her mug in as she pressed the button to start.

alessia then went to find the elf — who you had named for some unbeknownst reason elvis — who had spent the day pinned to the wall with tape as little drawn flames were below him and a sticky note saying: 'the floor is lava'

but before she had to get her coffee from the machine her phone started to ring, a small huff coming from her as she had to backpedal and go back into the living room to get it.

seeing the screen light up a warm smile coming over her features seeing it was her mum calling, "hi mum"

"hi alessia, are you okay?" carol, alessia's mum asked as alessia wandered back into the kitchen to finally get her hands on her hot coffee which by now which just be edging the warm stage.

"yeah, i'm just doing lovie's elf and then gonna have an early night" alessia smiled as she placed her phone on the kitchen counter pressing it so her mum was on speaker as she added the sugar into her coffee.

"elf? what elf?" carol questioned as a small laugh came from alessia as she could imagine the confused look on her mums face.

"like an elf on the shelf?" alessia tried as she knew her mum knew what one was, but the other end of the line stayed silent. "mum! you used to do one for me, giorgio and luca when we were a similar age to lovie”

a chuckle came over alessia as she heard her mums realisation hum through the line, "oh yes, how lovely. i bet tiny is loving that" carol said as alessia moved around her kitchen getting what she needed as her mum carried on with their little catch up.

alessia had decided that for day 15 was had saw a cute idea of the elf sledding along the counter which was covered in snow, flour, a cute little letter on a green sticky note.

still chatting away to her mum on the phone as she began the little project, but as the blonde went to place the empty bag of flour into the bin she accidentally knocked her coffee cup over. a loud bang echoing throughout the kitchen as the cup fell on the floor smashing into tiny pieces and covering the once white flour.

"so me and your dad can take lovie-" carol was filling alessia in on the plans for the weekend when alessia was at a shoot which you weren't allowed to go to before she stopped her sentence after hearing the loud crash.

"oh you've got to be kidding me-" alessia muttered under her breath, burying her head into her hands wanting nothing but to scream the house down but it probably would be the smartest idea considering you were sound asleep.

"alessia? what was that bang.." carol asked as it echoed through the phone, alessia just letting out a loud groan. "less, honey what's happened?" carol tried again.

alessia eventually moved her head from her hands not before dragging them dramatically down her face. "i've knocked my coffee over onto the counter where i had just laid out the flour for the elf thing and now i’ve also smashed my favourite mug" a pout came over alessia's face.

"do you not have any more flour? or even caster sugar will work" carol said hoping to lighten the mood and bring a quick fix to stop the panic that was slowly setting into alessia’s mind.

“no? what am i supposed to do now” alessia whispered as she spoke fast the panic was really setting into as she could just see the imagine in her head of you waking up and seeing your elf in the same place as before you went to sleep. her heart breaking slightly just at the thought.

“can you not call one of the girls? i’m sure one will help you out and plus they would all do anything to see tiny with a smile on her face” carol pointed out as alessia hummed racking her head around her lived close by and maybe wouldn’t mind doing her a small favour.

“yeah maybe..”

“well don’t fall or drop your phone in the making, clumsy!”

“hilarious mum! i’ll call you tomorrow”

-

"lotte.." alessia dragged out as a hum came from lotte on the other line. "what's up less?" the girl asked with the slight hint of sleepiness in her tone.

“i haven’t woke you have i?” alessia panicked glancing to the time on her phone it only showing 9:54pm. a small wince on her face as she feared the worse.

“no? what’s wrong though, you sound stressed-“ lotte asked as alessia began to recount the events and how she needed a favour from the girl, hoping she wouldn’t mind.

lotte trying her best not to start belly laughing at the blondes clumsiness, it sounding as if it was all made up and probably someone that had never met alessia would think she had.

but lotte knew better and with alessia who struggled to keep herself and objects up straight than to know that alessia was saying she was one hundred percent being serious.

“honestly i’m not even surprised anymore less, but of course i can just give me twenty minutes and i’ll be round” lotte chuckled as a sigh of relief could be heard leaving alessia’s lips.

“i don’t know what i would do without you lotte!”

“me neither less-“

-

“mummy! get up i wanna see elvis!” you excitedly jumped up and down on your mummy’s bed as she groaned rubbing her eyes as you flopped on top of her.

“hang on lovie, let mummy open her eyes first!” alessia let out a small laugh as you began to pull the blankets off her, tugging at her hand for her to hurry up.

at least with the arrival of your elf, elvis, there was one positive that came from it and that was there was no trouble at getting you up in the morning. you waking yourself up with energy and excitement seeping through your small limps to see what your elf had been up to while you were asleep.

“go on then, mummy will follow behind you!” alessia opened her door a little wider than the small gap you had squeezed through, grabbing her robe to wrap around herself as the cool air that surrounded the hallway hit her bare arms.

“i wonder if elvis has been cheeky today?” you thought out loud as you carefully walked down the stairs, alessia three steps behind you.

once you reached the bottom step alessia let you find your elf knowing you had found him when, “oh mummy he’s been very cheeky” you called out from the kitchen as a gasp could be heard from you.

“oh my gosh, how’s he done that!" alessia said as she flung her arms in the air a smile on her lips as she watched your face change with excitement as you took in the sight of your elf sitting on some candy canes in a trail of snow — flour — with a bright green sticky note close by.

“have you read his little note?” your mummy pointed to it as you shook your head, “should we read it together?” alessia asked as you nodded, your mummy picking you up as she sat you on the edge of the counter holding you by the knee so you didn’t fall.

“just sledding in-“ your mummy read along with you helping you with the more trickier words helping you to sound them out by the letters, “to say have a good day”

“oh that’s nice of him” alessia cooed as you nodded eagerly wanting to read the rest.

“and i almost didn’t make it cause-“ you began to read again along side your mummy as she pointed to the word as you read it, “-you went to bed realllly late” a small gaps coming from you as you were a little shocked.

“i didn’t go to bed late” you pouted as your mummy had a small grin her eyebrows slightly raised, “it was a little past your bedtime”

“be good today- wait what do they mean” you pointed to the small xo’s on the handwritten letter that elvis — lotte — had written. “so the o’s are hugs and the x’s are kisses” alessia explained as a small awh came over you.

“that’s was nice of elvis wasn’t it” your mummy asked as you nodded drawing small patterns on the edge of the counter in the flour.

“who going to clean this up though!” you asked, your brows furrowing a little bit.

“well i hope elvis does, he made the mess” as alessia took you down from the counter and making her way to start making your breakfast.

“elvis! mummy says you have to remember to clean up otherwise it’ll make her sad” you peered over the counter whispering to the elf as you babbled along to yourself talking with elvis the elf.

but even though it was a little tiring making the elf on the shelf each night it made it all worth it to see your excitement each morning and your facial expressions when you saw what your elf had been up to — so in alessia’s mind that made it all worth the while.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Perpetual care” platonic!(Nandor x reader)

Requested by @sleeplessdreamer14

Word Count: 2,209 words

Age Restrictions: 16+ (vulgar language)

Tags: Fluff, crack, platonic, parent-child dynamic

Synopsis: Your dear friend Guillermo accidentally finds out that you are related to a certain ruler of Al Qoulnudar and he’s dying to meet you.

Author’s note: I’m an energy vampire, except I get my energy from people who request platonic fics for this account >:) Thank you so much, made my day

________________________________________

“Yeah, but the Stan that we knew the whole show, wasn’t the real Stan. The real Stan was the Stan, that came out of the portal. So this Stan is Stanford, but the Stan, who we thought to be Stanford, was actually Stanley.” You ranted, walking down the damp streets of Staten Island beside your old college friend.

“Okay, okay, [reader], I promise, I’ll watch Gravity Falls someday.” Guillermo said, still unable to process the lore you’ve been trying so hard to explain the entire time. He noticed the mailman on Ashley street out of the corner of his eye. “Go right, I need to grab the mail, before werewolves tear it apart.”

“Right now?” You grimaced.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” He crossed the road and you trailed behind him, hesitating slightly.

“I don’t know… Your house gives me the creeps ever since you told me about your, uh, ‘employers’. I’d rather live to my 40s, you know?” The half-joking tone of your statement made Guillermo chuckle.

“Don’t worry, they don’t harm the people, who are close to me. Plus, it’s way too early for them to be awake. The sun is barely set and they usually don’t get up until I wake them.” He shrugged and strolled towards the big, dark building.

“Should’ve brought my crucifix…” you mumbled.

The sky got darker and darker, as you finally approached your destination. The house seemed to tower over you, like an angry giant. It wasn’t that big, but it sure looked that way to you, since you knew what kind of creatures inhabited it. You instinctively stood closer to Guillermo than you usually would.

The familiar glanced into the mailbox and pulled out a few envelopes. Bills, some r-rated magazine Laszlo is subscribed to, grocery store ad and a mysterious envelope labelled ‘AncestryDNA’. Your eyes widened at the sight of it, distracting you from the thoughts about your current location.

“Man, I did this one too a few months ago! It’s kinda useless to be honest, it’s not like I’ll contact any of the people I’m related to at 0.01%.” You chuckled. “But it was fun. Had no idea there were so many nationalities in my family.”

“Oh, that’s great! I did one for me and Nandor. He was feeling a bit down recently, ever since he found out that his country Al Quolnudar no longer exists, so I thought letting him know about his relatives would… cheer him up.” He smiled.

“Aw, that’s so cute.” You said, then remembered that it’s a bloodthirsty vampire he’s talking about. Guillermo started walking towards the front door. “Wait, wait, wait! Where are you going?”

“To leave the mail inside, it’ll be a second.” He reassured you.

“Come on, man. Don’t leave me here alone.” You looked around. You weren’t sure if you trusted the night sky anymore. Anything could be around. Werewolves? Witches? Other vampires?

“Then come in with me. It’s alright.” Guillermo reached out his hand and you unwillingly took it, following him inside.

The inside of the house was beautiful and perfectly preserving of the many ancient relics, that seemed to litter every shelf. Your friend truly did a great job at keeping the house pristine. You barely made two steps inside, when you saw an unfamiliar woman descending down the staircase. She was ravishing, but seemed rather annoyed.

“Oh, there you are! Where the hell have you been?” She growled at Guillermo. You mentally noted her unique accent.

“Just out. I didn’t expect you to be up so early, Nadja.” He replied calmly, seemingly used to this treatment.

“Early? It’s 11pm for Sire’s sake! Barely woke up for the midnight snack.” The man looked at his watch, realising that he did in fact loose track of time with you. Meanwhile, Nadja’s gaze travelled to you. “Oh, I see you brought a treat. Well, maybe I can forgive you this one time.”

The woman smiled and suddenly disappeared into thin air. There was a moment of sheer confusion, when you wondered if your brain was playing tricks on you. Out of nowhere, a pair of cold hands grabbed your shoulders in a matter of seconds.

“Nadja, wait!” Guillermo shouted, barely turning around in time and you felt the vampire’s fangs stop inches away from your throat. “They’re not a snack, they’re my friend. I just needed to… Uhm…show them something in my room.” He tried to make up an excuse for you being in the house.

“Why the hell would you bring a random human into our house?!” Her voice roughened.

“Look. I’m sorry, Nadja. But you know I would never bring anyone dangerous into the house. They know about vampires and they’re not a vampire slayer. Trust me, they’re harmless.” He pleaded.

Nadja scoffed and looked at you once again, as if contemplating killing you, before leaving completely. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in the first place, still very much shaken by the sudden near death experience.

“Did she just teleport behind me?!” You whisper-yelled.

“Yeah, they can do that.” He whispered back. “Sorry, I thought they’d be aslee-“

He couldn’t finish his talk, before a loud voice echoed through the walls: “Guillermo! The lid is stuck again!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I have to deal with that.” He ran up the stairs immediately.

“Wait up!” You followed.

You reached a wooden door with a golden knob. The familiar turned around to you, overthinking the plan for a few seconds, until he finally spoke up.

“Okay, you stay here. I’ll go help Master. Then when we come out, I’ll introduce you. If you meet anyone in the hallway, just come inside the room. Unless it’s Colin Robinson. Got it?” He let out in one breath.

“Wait, I-“ But it was too late and he already closed the door behind him.

The hallway was quiet. Even too quiet. You looked around, when another new face appeared from around the corner. A man, dressed very fanciful and rich. He smiled at the sight of you and you noticed his fangs right away.

“Ah, lunch!” He exclaimed and before you could ran inside the room next to you, the voice of Nadja interrupted the ordeal.

“It’s not food, Laszlo! It’s Guillermo’s friend.” She said, in an evidently displeased voice.

“Oh, pardon me then. Laszlo Cravensworth.” He extended his hand and you shook it.

“[reader]. Nice to meet you.”

“I like your grip, [reader]. Nice and firm. Tell me, are you Gizmo’s friend or friend?”

“I, uh…” You observed Laszlo’s face and he seemed absolutely serious. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Finally, the door swung open, revealing a tall, rather intimidating man. He looked at Laszlo and nodded, greeting him and the other vampire answered accordingly. His soothing voice, made you a bit less scared, but his fangs made it very hard to calm down.

“Ah, so this is [reader]?” He glanced at Guillermo and pointed in your direction, to which the familiar nodded. “Greetings, [reader]. I am Nandor the Relentless. They call me that because I don’t relent.” You could tell, he’s really forcing himself to be nice to you.

“Nice to meet you, mr. Relentless.” A nervous smile painted your face.

There was a beat of incredibly awkward silence, that felt simultaneously like a nice break and a staring contest. Finally, Guillermo broke it.

“Well, let’s go check that DNA test while we’re at it?” He suggested.

“I suppose that is a good idea.” Nandor agreed and you simply nodded along, now getting way too intrigued by this situation.

Downstairs, the three of you desperately tried to fit in Guillermo’s tiny space under the stairs, which didn’t seem like adequate living conditions, but you bit back the urge to bring this up. He punched the code on the envelope into their site and watched the loading screen for a few seconds until it showed you the result.

“Master, it says here, you are 70% Persian, 15% Kurd, 10% Turkmen and 5% Kazakh.” The vampire seemed to have a bunch of questions about this ratio, but before he could ask any, Guillermo continued. “And we can check if you have any living relatives, would you want to see that?”

Nandor’s eyes sparkled with anticipation, as he moved closer to the computer, sandwiching you between the two of them as if personal space is not a thing. “Relatives? Yes, yes, go on…”

The familiar clicked to the next folder on the site and it showed a ridiculously high number. More than three hundred thousand people. All of you remained in a state of collective shock.

“I’m a granddad?” Nandor looked at the screen in awe.

“Yes. Yes, you are.” The familiar choked out, unsure if he wants to delve into the implications of this amount of descendants. “Look how much you’ve got in the US alone.” He pointed at the map.

“All of these dots… They are my grandkids?” He squinted his eyes a bit to distinguish them better.

“Yeah! Well, some of them might be your grand nieces and nephews or something.” You chimed in.

“Oh, no. I killed my siblings before they could procreate.” He shrugged and you couldn’t tell whether it was a joke or not. “Are there any in Staten Island?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Let’s see.” Guillermo zoomed in on the particular area of New York. “Yeah, look! Over here.” He pointed at the address, funnily enough, it was your street. What a coincidence.

Guillermo clicked on the dot in Staten Island, which revealed the profile of Nandor’s supposed relative. A picture with a familiar face popped up. Your face. With a caption: [reader], born [_], ethnicity [_] and so on. All the information you filled out, when taking the test. Both heads suddenly turned to you.

“Is that you?” Nandor asked, already knowing the answer, but needing confirmation nonetheless.

You nodded shakily and let out a nervous chuckle. “Wow… wouldn’t have ever guessed I had a vampire grandpa.”

His smile grew wide with an uncharacteristic gentleness, as if he was genuinely happy to have you here. This felt weird. Just a second ago you saw this man as a terrifying bloodthirsty lunatic and now he’s apparently your ancestor. You weren’t sure how to act, so you awkwardly excused yourself, saying something about it being late and having work tomorrow, before practically sprinting out of the vampire residence.

You spent the night, pondering over the idea of reconnecting with your relentless grandpa. You weren’t sure if it was a sense of pity, sympathy, morbid curiosity or all at once, but the idea didn’t seem half bad. After all, he was the only one who hadn’t tried to kill you, which was a low bar to cross, but it was still crossed and that is taken into account.

The next day, you were getting ready to confront the vampire for the second time, to see if he’s down for a small family reunion. But as you opened the front door of your apartment, you saw Nandor and Guillermo standing outside, both looking a bit worried.

“Oh, hi! I was just about to go visit you.” You stated bluntly. The door opened wider to let both of them in. The familiar stepped inside, but the vampire just remained standing there. “Uhm, come on in.”

Only then did he come into the space and take a sit in your armchair.

“So I brought a present for you.” Nandor smiled in excitement and pulled out a little plush toy from a paper bag he had. “We made this at Build-a-Bear. If you press its paw it recites the warrior’s code in Farsi. I recorded it myself.” He handed it to you with almost childish giddiness and you couldn’t help but feel affectionate towards the gift. Unconventional, but sincere.

“Aw, thank you so much.” You held it close. “That’s very nice.”

“All the best for my grandkids.” He nodded.

“Maybe we should get to know each other better?” You suggested, sitting down on your bed.

“Yes, of course!” He tried to think of a good conversation topic. “Uhh… Thoughts on arson?”

“Hot.” You replied without thinking.

“I like you already.” He laughed a bit too loud for a mediocre joke.

The rest of the nighttime was spent with the two of you talking and doing dumb shit inside your apartment (Guillermo was just there for emotional support and because Nandor wanted him to stay). You found Nandor’s inability to spend more than 15 seconds pondering an idea and his earnest desire to connect with you, despite the generational rift very admirable and actually grew to like him. Of course, it would take much longer than several hours for you to fully start considering him family, but you’re willing to put in the work and so is he.

When it was time for both of your guests to leave, you shared a long heartfelt hug with your newfound relative.

“Goodbye, grandpa.” You said without much thinking.

“Grandpa?” He asked.

“Oh, sorry. Too early? Goodbye, Nandor.” You corrected yourself right away.

“No. Grandpa’s fine.” The vampire returned in a slightly shaky voice.

You weren’t sure, but you might’ve seen tears form in his eyes. Though you’ll probably never find out…

(PS: he did cry)