#the heart killers episode 3

[thequeenofsastiel]

I was rewatching all their scenes bc I had a hypothesis about Fadel touching his hair and it being related to Style specifically(which turned out to be wrong, RIP). And I saw this, from the first time we actively see Style show interest in Fadel when Fadel isn't looking at him:

This was in Style's fantasy about Fadel at the host bar. No wonder he always looks so happy every time Fadel takes hold of his chin.

[reijamira]

Why hasn’t Fadel told Style about his former lover?

In episode 5, Style asks Fadel if he had a lover before, and Fadel lies and says no.

Why lie? Fadel was honest enough to tell Style about his murdered parents (which surely was painful for him to talk about).

Why not tell Style that he had someone special before? Was it because Style would have asked too many uncomfortable questions? Would it have been too painful to answer them? Because Fadel still is not over it, and the grief counseling group isn’t really for his dead parents, but rather for his ex?

Then it got me thinking just HOW much did Style get from that conversation between Keen and Fadel in episode 3?

I think Style, at the least, did overhear this last bit. So, he knows there was someone. Just not how much that someone meant to Fadel.

I wonder when this will come up again and how. Is Fadel’s ex dead? Or was he threatened by Mother to leave Fadel. Then, will he come back and cause trouble in paradise? (Imagine if he indeed came back, and Fadel has to decide between his ex and Style. And our precious, kind Style tells Fadel, it’s ok to get back with his ex, Fadel loves him, they should be together. All the while Style’s own heart is breaking! 😭🥺)

Or, on a completely wild and evil guess, was Fadel’s ex maybe hired by Mother to make Fadel fall in love with him, before he left him, just so that Fadel would realize, in this life, it’s better to stay alone because you are alone?

I have no idea where the show will take us. All I know is that I’m obsessively invested in FadelStyle and I don’t want them to hurt! I want my babies safe and sound (same goes for KantBison). I’m not ready for the shit to hit the fan. I have no coping mechanisms for the drama and the angst that will hit us soon. 😱😭

[reijamira]

Jesus, that wet look! THIS ship kills me.

THE HEART KILLERS | EP 3

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[tortibomb]

The Heart Killers | Fadel & Style | Episode 9

Look at how happy they are. It took a little bit to get back to here but we are so back baby. Everyones secrets are out in the open as far as we are aware and everyone can be true to themselves and each other. Fadel & Style are my roman empire.

[reijamira]

Where is the scar and that tattoo?

🥃🔪🔥

[thequeenofsastiel]

I keep watching that sex scene between Fadel and Style in ep 3(for pure and analytical reasons, no other, promise), and I find the kissing aspect of it interesting. For me, and a lot of people, there's something very intimate about kissing. It's why sex workers generally prefer to not kiss their customers(I sure as shit don't), and why people who have one night stands will often not want to kiss the people they do it with(Wandee for a fictional example). But Fadel straight up kisses Style during their sex. Like, a whole lot. Which makes me think that on some level Fadel had already started to develop emotional feelings for Style, not just sexual ones.

Idk, maybe I'm reading too far into it and Fadel is willing to kiss anyone he has sex with(though I strongly get the impression that he isn't the kind of person who does one night stands). But I think I'm on the mark.

[cornflowershade]

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗦 | 𝗘𝗣. 𝟯 —𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙩𝙬𝙤, 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙡. 𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩.

[theladyyavilee]

'it wasn't your fault [...] don't blame yourself, you had the full right to love and want a future with him [...] you deserve love, just like anyone'

you don't understand, I am UNDONE AND DEVASTATED BEYOND WORDS, THIS SCENE IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE OH MY GOD

he holds him so gently, my man style just out here casually proving that he truly understands fadel 'there's no one out there who wants the best for you more than I do' and that he loves fadel for who he is

[reijamira]

Hahahahaha why did I miss this? Have to pay attention to this scene on my rewatch. It seems like Khao got startled for real there.

Bison's reaction to Fadel throwing his belt at him

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Coincidence???? Or not?????

Source: @/lilyssoldout Twitter

The Heart Killers, Ep 3

[reijamira]

Gosh, the man that you are, Fadel. Style, you are so lucky! 🧨💣🫠🔥

You should have seen when he put those guys in their places. Damn. Those three guys sure had their asses handed to them.

[miss0atae]

BL Fashion in The Heart Killers (EP 1 - 3): Kant's fashion style.

I wanted to create something like a fashion magazine page with The Heart Killer signature colors but it's not exactly a success. I had fun, that's what matter.

I want to do it for the other characters too.

[secriden]

Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:

Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.

(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)

The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.

But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are somehow infinitely gentle still; Style's kisses contain a purpose that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.

There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.

There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.

In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.

And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.

The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.

[these-emo-thoughts]

I need to scream about how great the acting is in TKH. Everyone is doing amazing, but there's one scene in particular that has a hold on me. Specifically, Kant and Bison's bed scene in episode 3. Kant knows that seducing Bison is part of his job, and he's willing to go the extra mile to do it right, including using underhanded tricks to end up in Bison's house, but he 100% did not realise what he was getting into. Because who would have thought this cute and adorable little waiter is 1) a killer and 2) a bondage enthusiast? How was Kant to know such a thing?

And reality (and Bison) slaps him in the face real quick at the end of Ep 3. I want to scream about is how fucking much I love Kant's reactions to this development. The hesitation on his face as he glances over to where Bison is tying the rope around his wrists; the uncertainty in the way he stutters "y-yeah" when Bison asks him if he's ready; his disbelief when Bison yanks open his bedside drawer and brings out the whip and blindfold; the way he tries to smile for a split second before he is once again consumed by the shock of what's going on; the wince when the whip is dragged up against his face - I Kant can'ttttttt 😩👌

The cherry on top of all of this is the ominous music in the background and how sweet Bison still is. The juxtaposition between the innocent and unassuming Bison (who we must not forget was wearing a shirt with Jesus' face printed all over it) and the dark techno-choral music playing over their encounter is utterly delicious.

I fucking love this show. I can't wait for the next episode.

[blatantprinterpropaganda]

so to recap, this week on the heart killers: kidnapped people who don't know how to be kidnapped, kidnappers who are variously adept at kidnapping, free condoms and lube, there is only one bed car, kant combats ocean pollution, bison is not a vampire confirmed (he doesn't want to taste kant's stupid blood), style really really REALLY tries to have a fun romantic roadtrip but is hampered by fadel's stubborn insistence he's still kidnapped and going to be killed soon, the chillest guy ever wanders by to drop off some food for the now grown child of the murdered people he once worked for and he figures it's probably okay to leave it with this child's friend/kidnapping victim, a breaking and entering that flows naturally into couple's counselling at gunpoint, two people play piano with the back of their heads, a gay wedding, bare toes on a naked nipple, and a somewhat tacky print in an otherwise undecorated bathroom becomes a crucial clue in fadel's mission. stay tuned next week to see if getting shot might be the key to style's romantic gay roadtrip dreams!