#the guy that fucked me here totally broke my heart btw which is why I usually cry lol

[jimjammin777]

i always come to the same place after I go on walks and usually I come here to cry but tbh considering just jerking off here

i already got railed here so it's not like I've not done worse

[kmze]

2x12 - 2x22 Alright I did something different this time, I put my thoughts down while watching (usually after I finished the episode) instead of doing it after I finished all the episodes. So I have way more thoughts this time lol, my short term memory was struggling before. All this is to say this is much longer than my last recap thoughts, also this is one of the best seasons of the show so it made the rewatch more enjoyable.

Poor Rose and very dumb on Damon’s part to leave Elena with her having absolutely no idea what the werewolf bite was going to do. The dream sequence he gives Rose is one of the best Damon scenes ever IMO. RIP Rose and that awful wig.

Elena told Damon to be the better man and the groan I let out... I wish you an eternity of misery Kevin Williamson!

I could not stop laughing at Stefan's brilliant idea of talking to Tyler involved him sneaking into his house and then slamming him against the wall LMFAO!! Genius idea Stefan that definitely made him want to help you and be friends, truly a mystery that you two never get along.

The Lexi flashbacks made me sad I was 100% with Stefan glaring at Damon like BTW you’re awful in case you forgot.

Is Alaric wearing eyeliner sometimes or am I seeing things?

The Damon/Andie scenes just make me so mad and uncomfortable, there's moral ambiguity that always exists in this show and then there's this disturbing storyline, fuck the writers.

Ok I admit Matt and Caroline have one good scene (though Caroline does the heavy lifting here) when she sings to him at the grill and they kissed. I clapped, a moment of weakness. Matt ruined the good feelings by the end of the episode though so balance has been restored.

Unintentional Intentional Foreshadowing? At the 60s dance Stefan and Elena are dancing and then Caroline and Matt come in. Stefan leaves Elena to go dance with Caroline and spins Elena into Damon’s arms. While this is happening the song playing is Last Kiss, which is a song about a guy who lost his girl in a car crash. I don't think it was intentional but if I were the writers I would totally take credit and say it was.

I'm sure this is part of the Delener manifesto (which I will never read) but the line "I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage" had me like DAMNNNNNN. Maybe I don't give Damon enough credit because that was a pretty great summarization of why Stefan eventually lets Elena die in 3x22 by "respecting her choices".

I am so tired of the suicide missions this season, choose life!

At least Caroline chooses life! This is when I really started seeing how Caroline is climbing up in the narrative and especially how her love life is gaining more depth and importance. The porch and door scenes in particular because lovers and potential lovers on the porch was something Elena got in S1. For Caroline the doorway represents her heart. We got Tyler inside while Matt is outside in 2x10 because that's when she was helping Tyler and started falling for him, meanwhile she broke up with Matt to protect him. Then Tyler fucks up and he gets the door slammed in his face. Stefan says he can come in if she wants him to in 2x13 but she's not ready to let Stefan in yet, and he realizes that so he brings back-up. Then you've got Matt back inside her heart but really her Mom put him there to spy on her. I really like the shot of Matt at the door looking at Liz in 2x18 before the dance.

IMO most of this season Elena has a relationship with both brothers; she has a physical one with Stefan and an emotional one with Damon and she does that so they are both all about her. And I think this current version of the triangle was the only way she could have both. Because Stefan doesn't care that Damon is also in love with Elena because it means he'll protect Elena (re: quote above) and he'll be in Stefan's life which is all he ever wanted. And Damon because he's so obsessed and consumed by Elena will stay there pining and flirting and acting out when he feels ignored because Stefan will be there to "clean up it up." Everyone wins in a very fucked up way. The problem is she couldn't keep Damon at just an "hopelessly pining" distance and once Elena chose Damon, Stefan wasn't interested in being the one in an emotional relationship.

Klaus knowing all the Mystic Falls gossip already lol.

Tyler saying who’s Klaus my poor boy I wish you never found out. Really loved the Tyler and Caroline scenes the last few episodes (I mean the heart eyes he gives her in the tomb *melts*), they'll always hold a place in my heart.

I'm sorry Liz but you were a terrible sheriff, my god. In fact MFPD is up there with GCPD as the most inept police department in all of fiction. How the hell could they not take down one vampire who was weakened by werewolf venom?

The Stefan and Elena goodbye in 2x20 was so heartbreaking damn, they absolutely have moments where I totally ship them and that's one of them.

2x21 is the best episode of this half and overall the storytelling in this season is really solid. Everything with the sacrifice ritual was well done and even though I knew exactly what was going to happen I was intrigued the whole time, the best was Bonnie coming in with the wind and the fire and the magic. I feel like the show often has a problem where one half of a season will be good than the other meh, this season was solid throughout. Loved the twist that the sun and moon curse was made up.

Some of the acting choices Joseph makes while Klaus is watching Stefan drink the blood bags are… sir I see you and I appreciate you.

Lines that made me laugh:

Damon: Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust. (this made me laugh so hard I had to pause LMFAO his jabs at her were so good)

Caroline: Everyone just needs to stop kissing me! (a classic! Caroline's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard)

Not a line but Alaric having to write “The dagger will kill you…” on a piece of paper and then their mad faces was hilarious! They are just so dumb.

[peachychubbycheeks]

you know ... I'm kinda getting use to using this account as if it were my cyber journal/diary so I guess I can write this here

for the most longest time I've been friends with this girl that is currently dating a guy I used to date ...

our relationship was short lived because he was younger then me and very short tempered and stubborn (not to mention he was also very ignorant and everything had to abide by his own way of thinking and his own rules and values) we only dated for a couple of weeks, maybe 6, kinda don't remember the details but omfg he was a huge pain in my ass. After those 6 months that I broke up with him I felt better and thought I'd never talked to him again but I guess that wasn't the case; my brother came home silent as hell which most times he wouldn't cause i remember he would come home and always greeted me with a smile or just a dumb joke but he was too quite. I went to his room and asked if he was okay; he told me he was fine. At the same time i remember my friend (let's call them JD) writing on Twitter "omg what have I done" and "why did I go there" and obviously by the time I was putting 2 and 2 together. after prying and asking him what's wrong he finally told me that he saw my friend and the guy I broke up with kissing in there room and he was so shocked that he screamed "WHAT THE FUCK" ngl that was funny as hell thinking about it but by that time my heart sank

shit ... my closest friend was making out with someone I used to date. what the actual fuck.

I confronted her about it and she told me she was sorry about it and that it wouldn't happen again ... or so I thought

I live in PR where mostly the island is full of beaches and tourist attractions and we decided (my cousin, bother and my other 2 friends, JD was involved) to go to Cabo Rojo (far from where we are). I was excited because it was something different for a change. while we were there I felt as if JD was acting strange, she was walking away from the group alot, hiding her phone, and messaging someone. I was a little skeptical but I kinda didn't mind it so much attention. after we left and such ... I remember seeing a contact on her phone written "100 X tu seras mi bb" which translates to me You will forever be my baby. my stomach dropped again.

"No .... it can't be."

I asked her who it was and she told me it was a inside joke that her and a friend of hers had and she put the contact there favorite song.

weird but okay

days later I would see her posting on her whatsapp stories photos of a guy but only his back but the place they were in seemed oddly familiar ... the chinese restaurant I took my last date to (we'll call him E)

I asked her again, she told me it was an Asian guy she would stalk sometimes at the restaurant ... creepy but okay, bet.

then she posted another picture of E front porch, shit at this point it was so obvious ... but I just wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt or at least tell me the truth. I asked her "... where is that." her response

that's my uncles back yard.

... sure

the last straw was when I was scrolling facebook ... and there it was, E's profile, I went into it and what did you know, JD, my friend, was following him

I was shitting bricks at the moment, fuck, I felt like shit, like straight out dog caca, and I showed it to my cousin (she was her best friend btw) and she stood silent. that same day we were gonna go out with her but I didn't feel like bringing up the topic ... even though it was noticeable in the way I would talk (I would stutter) also my hands were sweaty af.

the next day I asked her by phone, if they were dating, she went silent and told me that yes, they were indeed going out. for a year now by that time. and I decided that to let go of the friendship.

funny, by that time I felt guilty for doing something totally "selfish", at least I thought by that time but it was perfectly justified and reasonable.

a year past by and between everything going on I felt like I had to forgive her and pass the page but to be totally honest I should've never have done so.

up till today I have so much remorse and regret that I let her back into my life. all the comments she's made till this day making us (me especially) feel bad for "outting her" and for "leaving her" don't make sense to me, also the back handed comments she always gives me, the moments I've opened up to her about my dating life and her telling her boyfriend, E, about my short comings with some of them

I think it's best to keep some distance for now ... and actually live my life without her knowing every aspect about it.

she did tell me that she doesn't want me or my cousin to talk badly about her boyfriend as a boundary ... I think it's time I do the same for myself too. set some boundaries for her to respect. If she doesn't want to then bye 👋

[fakeloveaskblog]

Patty have you ever asked Janus to join for dinner when you meet him? Maybe that can somehow help Logan with his flirting? Or at least get Janus more relaxed?

(btw you're adorable ily!!)

(*cracks knuckles* Oh yeah baby we’ve gotten to the angst. Words: 2364 )

Patty: ": D Oh hello lil magical bird who just talked to me! I love you too!! I didn't want to barge in too much into their relationship but now when my honeypie has asked him out once already I guess I can help just a bit!"

Patty had sunglasses on to look like a secret agent. This was an important step in her plan, she swore on it. She sneaked into the open library while chuckling to herself.

She glanced around and almost immediately caught her eye on Janus standing in the reception. She did a few sneaky walks between the bookshelves before sliding up to him.

"Hello Janister!" She greeted with a bright smile while putting her elbows on the reception to lean closer.

"Hiya PatPat. Logan is off helping a customer but he'll be back soon"

"Oh silly I'm not looking for him right now. I am actually here to ask if you could come over to our place tonight. You see I'm planning on making Jambalaya but I always make too much! I'm talking leftovers up to the roof!! But if a third person was there maybe I would be able to make a perfect amount" She lied. She was making jambalaya for Janus purposes alone!

Janus' heartrate shot through the atmosphere "To- me?- your place?- tonight?- I uh- I don't know if I have time-"

She pouted and did her puppy eyes "You sure? You don't have to if you don't want to!! But it would be nice!"

He let out a happy sigh "Sure"

She took his hand and let out a sqeaul "aaah Great! It'll be so fun!!"

---

Logan was leaning down so Patty could help him with his bowtie. "Are you completely sure I look adequate?" He asked.

"Oh honeybee, You look super duper ultra adequate. You're literally wearing a sweater with a math pun on it!!"

"Hmm sound argument. I can not deny the sexiness of math puns"

A knock came on the door. The couple stared at each other. Logan stimmed out of nervousness. Patty gave him a quick kiss before pointing between him and the door. They did a good luck high five.

Logan combed his hair back and leaned on the wall to look cool as he opened the door. Janus stood on the other side looking like a sardine that had just been pressed into a can.

He had on a purple vest with embroidered flowers details and with a long sleeved black button up under. Also a very funky pair of stripped pants with even funkier yellow snake socks under.

"Greetings Jan. You are looking" Like a dream. Like someone he wanted to kiss right this moment. "Very good"

"Aww are you trying to be a snake charmer Log-boy" Janus replied with a smirk.

"I am not a log or a boy. I'm an adult man made out of meat"

"You better be because I'm starving" He had downed 2 shots of vodka before coming to try to and cool his extreme anxiety. He was a lightweight.

Logan lead him into the living room "Are....Are you implying cannibalism?"

Janus shrugged while smiling.

The apartement truly did look like a mismatch of the couple's personalities. The walls were filled with maps of constellations and uplifting cat posters. On the bookshelfs cook books and travel books were stacked next to thick philosophy books and essays. The decorations were either cute porcelain animals, magical anime girl figurines or figurines of characters from Lo's different hyperfixations. The sofa was filled with fluffy blankets and pillows and stuffies were scattered around the light blue carpet filling the living room.

“Do you want to watch star trek while eating?” Logan asked with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“As long as I get to watch your beautiful face as well” Janus flirted back while doing an unsteady fingergun.

“Oh- Of course” His crush’s sudden forwardness was making his heart flutter.

Janus curled up in the corner of the couch, making himself as small as possible. Logan sat down pretty far away from him.

He started the first episode. Janus had a constant smile on his face as he listened to Logan go between telling him facts and gushing over his favorite moments. All while he could hear Patty in the kitchen half singing along to dad rock.

“Does she want help with that?” Janus, known gentleman and also nervous wreck, asked.

“She’ll tell us if she need it. She likes cooking. I like baking. It usually works out”

Janus got an amused look on his face “You’re into baking? So all those times at work when you brought desserts, that was your making?”

“Yes. And they were delicious. Anything wrong with that?”

“No. No. I simply didn’t take you for the type”

“Well cooking involves creativity and there’s room for your own ideas. Baking doesn’t. It is only about following a structure and doing kitchen chemistry. Of course I love it” He lowered his voice “It is also tremendously good for when you need to flirt without words”

“Oh really? I better start looking up recipes then” He pulled in Logan's bowtie “You have any favorites?” 

In his head he had the guts to say ‘Your lips against mine would be my favorite’ in reality he said “HehuHFKdjf jam drops in the shape of heart. The heart part is important. It adds to the taste”

“It usually does”

Janus slowly looked him up and down. And then he realized what the fuck he was doing. He shot back into his corner of the sofa like a naked rat. Logan sat still with blushing cheeks, staring at the tv but not taking in anything that was happening except his racing heart.

“Done!” Patty exclaimed, coming in with a big ass fucking pot of jambalaya and a just as big bottle of wine.

She saw the nervous state both of the guys were in and quickly made up a plan. She slammed the pot down onto the coffee table and moved the blankets so they took up about half of the couch. Then she sat down using up as much space as possible leaving the guys no choice but to move closer to each other, If both of them sat their hands down they would touch.

Patty cuddled up to her husband with a proud smile on her face. Logan moved his arm around her. 

“It looks great sweetheart” He pressed a kiss to her cheek making her giggle.

“So do you!! And so does mr. star trek captain man!”

 She enjoyed the hell out of her jambalaya while the two idiots sent each other awkward smiles. Janus downed his glass of wine in record speed. (He took it slower with the food, he didn’t want to seem disgusting). 

The whole star trek episode went by. Logan asked Janus a thousand excited questions about how much he liked it. All of his answers made the nerd happy stim. They put on a documentary none of them were really interested in the background while continuing to chat. Patty went on a long epic story about how a kid at her daycare had tried to bite her finger off last week.

“Soooo” Patty sudenly changed the topic. She said it with an innocent tone “My nerdy lil honeypie over here had the biggest crush on Data for a while. It was adorable. ANd while we’re on the topic” The look she gave Janus was happy but it still sent shivers down his spine “You having any crushes lately? Just curious!”

Both of the men internally gasped at the audacity. The gall! The sheer power!! Janus was sweating like a naked rat who had just been clad for the first time.

“...Well.......I have actually been meaning to....Ask about the polyamourous thing?” 

The couple exhanged knowing glances before looking back at him “Mhm yeah Mhm” “I am poly and also a thing so I am an expert in this”

“So...I totally haven’t fallen in love with 3 people. 2 of which I met in the span of around a week”

Patton did a double thumbs up. Logan took a long sip from his wine. “We’re all gossipy bitches here. Tell all about it”

“Well. The first one is Remy-”

“The one with the sunglasses?”

“...Yes...Are....Don’t tell me they’re a serial killer”

Patty broke up into a chuckle “Logie-bogie tried to kiss them while he was drunk once”

“I threw up on their shoes”

“He threw up on their shoes!”

Logan saw the terror in Janus’ face as he worried that maybe 2 of his crushes were exes and quickly added “We are only acquaintance and I was momentarily struck by the impressive lenght of their legs” 

Janus went on to gush about Remy and Remus. Why he loved them. All the dates he had daydreamed about. And then finally his voice was shaking when he mentioned just having a third crush.

Patty let out a long yawn before he could say anything more. She stood up “Well looks like it’s time to snooze! I assume 2 big burly ultra masculine men like you two can handle the dishes”

“It will be a challenge but we shall do our best. Goodnight honey” Logan kissed her.

She leaned in and whispered “Good luck Logie-bear! You got this”

She giggled mischievously while going off into the bedroom. She closed the door behind her. Only the two lovebirds were left now.

“So the third crush? Who’s the lucky gentleman?” Logan asked.

Janus held onto his newly refilled wine glass so hard it nearly cracked. He forced a smile “Wouldn’t you want to hear about the fake couples counseling I go to together with Remus instead?”

“Fake what now?”

“Well me and Remus, who I am hopelessly in love with even though he clearly doesn’t feel the same way, started going to a therapist pretending we were a couple to see how long it would take before he realized we didn’t know each other. He hasn’t realized anything yet. It’s great!”

It looked like Logan’s eyes was about to bulge out of his skull “That sounds illegal. It should be. You are dragging shame onto the face of psychology you double dumbass!”

“I have done nothing wrong ever in my entire life and frankly I deserve to waste even more therapist’s time” Janus replied.

He let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose “Which therapist is it that you’re harassing exactly?”

“Dr. Picani”

Logan’s eyes widened and he shut his lips tightly “Emile Picani?”

“Yes.....Please don’t tell me he’s a serial killer”

He slowly looked away while taking a sip from his wine “I have had intercourse with that man”

Janus choked on his drink. He coughed while staring at his friend with wild eyes “YOU FUCKED MY THERAPIST????”

“No.......He fucked me” Logan replied in a quiet tone. “Besides he’s not even your real therapist”

“He is still a sort of therapist man to me! I told him I enjoy Lana Del Rey. That was a very intimate moment for me!”

“Well I had a very intimate moment with him too”

Janus looked at him with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. He let out a chuckle which turned into a laugh which turned into Logan not being able to not laugh along which turned into the room filling with nothing but flustered happiness and laughter.

Logan grabbed onto his crush’ arm just to have some contact with him while his eyes teared up from laughter. Janus leaned his head against his shoulder and curled up close to him while giggling so much his stomach hurt.

“Oh we’re idiots” Janus sighed.

“We are. We truly are”

They stayed sitting like that. So so close. Logan’s arm around him. Janus breathing being felt against the other man’s skin. Their hands touching. Only comfortable silence surrounded them.

A few minutes went by. Janus looked at him shuly. His thoughts worrying about everything and anything “Should we- ehm- the dishes?”

The moment broke. Logan moved away before standing up “I uh yeah- we should”

It was strange. Just dishing together with his crush made Logan happy. All he could think about was getting to be this close, this domestic, with him every day. Getting to wake up next to him. Kiss his knuckles. Share a morning with him.

“Who was the third crush by the way?” Logan asked, glancing over at his crush.

Janus stared down into the water “I- I can’t say it”

“Understandable”

He stopped and turned fully to look at Janus. He had never been more unsure of where to put his hands before.

“Well I can...Say it I mean....I....I...Janus.....You make me happy just by being near me...You are so wonderful...I....I love you”

Logan couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He took a step forward and cupped Janus’ cheeks. He leaned forward, so close, so close that their noses and foreheads were pressed against each other. It felt like had been starving for this.

Janus froze. His wide eyes stared in shock at the other man. His hand moved up to his chest on instinct, to try and push him away.

Logan noticed his reaction. Of course he did. It was blindingly obvious. He forced himself to move away. He forced the desire to kiss him to simmer out.

“I-I’m sorry-” He mumbled out.

“No....Lo..” Janus took his hand. Holding it so so lightly in his own “I know” He looked up at him “I know. I’m sorry. I should go”

A horrible feeling of guilt filled Logan’s throat “You don’t have to” 

“I should go” He repeated, letting go of his hand.

Logan walked after him as he went to get his jacket “A date. Do you want to go on a date? Not just a hangout. Janus I- I want so badly to be close to you. We could go to the zoo, look at the snakes?”

Janus held his hand on the handle of the door. He didn’t look at Logan “Thanks for having me over”

He left. Logan stood alone in the hallway. His arms hanging helplessly at his sides.

[mx-in-words]

monsta x reaction to him not being your first bias

Hi, sweet! I'd love to know how the boys would react when they discovered that your bias was initially another member.

plot: in a party, all the monsta x members with you and some friends start playing truth or dare. Minhyuk asks you to hug your first bias even if you date one of the members.

↬ Shownu

He got in shook when you hugged jooheon

jh: OH YEAHHHH with all the respect hyung.

shownu just ...

He is mad ( •̀ω•́ )

he didn't think you would have another bias

you were his and how could this even...

he gave a yellow smile and just let it go

at home, you realise he was a bit off

you: baby please, talk to me

in his mind, he was thinking about how could he stole you from jooheon

maybe joo is better than him

he would make you happier, more loved

and he was afraid that he could lose you

you hold his hands, making him seat with you in the bed

you: listen very carefully okay? I love you so much. My heart hurts because I can see how far those thoughts are going inside this pretty head of yours.

you: Let me explain, I used to not know you and joo was cute on TV and shows. That's it. When I actually saw you for the first time, I just had this feeling that nobody else in the room matter you know? This feeling was so unique and I still feel it for you. Everyday. Stop stressing yourself and overthinking. I am yours and I will never love someone like I love you.

he kissed you like it was the first and last kiss

he might cry who knows

Shownu wants to show that he feels the same for you. And he will. Everyday.

sh: You are my world, I am so sorry. I love you so so so much that I don't know how to live without your love. Thanks baby

cuties 🥺

↬ Wonho

it's so sad the way he opened his arms and you were already hugging hyungwon.

you: sorry baby, he was the model 🥺

hyungwon just kept quiet because all he wants is to survive so he can one day sleep for weeks.

the night went and wonho pretended he was okay (very bad he is not a good actor).

but at home

prepare yourself for the drama

wh: so hyungwon huh? He is better looking than me, I agree

you: keep this attitude and I will not talk like an adult about this.

Wonho knew you were right.

you: trust me okay?

he hugged you, he just needs your affection right know

you: came here.

he lay down on your chest, while you pass your fingers through his hair

you: first of all, hyungwon is a sleepy bitch. Second of all, how could you ever? You know you are my angel. Do my actions makes you question my love?

wh: never. I never felt lonely until I met you. Now, if I don't have you beside me, life is just life, it's not exciting and... I trust you. I just don't want to lose you.

you: you won't. I promise you.

you: to prove my love, I will do some ramen for my men.

wh: god I love you so much

he really does, so much more than ramen, you can count on that.

↬ Kihyun

with all my heart, kihyun part will hurt, be ready.

kihyun actions hurt me sometimes (?)

his pride is too big, which results in him saying things he shouldn't.

so when he saw you hugging shownu, that was it. All the polite kihyun is dead by jealous and pride.

kh: I knew already, she is the type of girl who likes useless muscles, what can I say?

sh: I think you should watch out your words dude.

mh: it's just a joke kihyun, relax man.

kh: watch out shownu? Or what? You will steal my girl? All yours.

that's it. You picked your things and left.

Kyun offered you a ride but you refused, you called a taxi and went to your shared house with kihyun.

You put all your things in the visiting room and gave him a silent treatment for a week.

he did everything, flowers, crying at your door, calling you all the time.

so one day, you went out with friends and when you opened the door, you saw kihyun crying on the sofa.

that broke your heart, so you decided that was time to talk.

you set down, holding his hands.

kh: I am very sorry baby I... I know I had hurt you okay? I am an asshole but please forgive me, I will never act like a child again.

you: had you talked with shownu?

kh: yes, he forgave me.

you: you have to understand one thing and I want you to pay attention, I am here WITH YOU and I want to be treated like your lover. I deserve the same respect as you do. If you are afraid to lose me or jealous, talk to me but don't attack me, okay?

kh: okay I promise.

you: also tomorrow I want a princess day with food, spa, shopping and sex I don't care.

kh: done, my princess. I love you.

and thank god this fight is over

yay 😚✌🏼

↬ Minhyuk

Already knew but pretend to be shook

listen minhyuk is your best friend partner in crime bf and private devil

so he knew kihyun was your bias before you knew him

mh: HOW COULD I BE BETRAYED LIKE THIS right in front of my salad

you: we are not a gay porn min quit it

kihyun was shook btw

minhyuk took this opportunity to make kihyun life harder because why not

mh: some people like to steal their FRIENDS girlfriend's. Watch out boys, a hamster can be bad eventually.

mh: owowowowowooowww Kihyun can you please not BREATH that close of my gf please? Just bc you were her bias doesn't mean she is single wow know your limits dude.

you: minhyuk stop jesus

mh: don't tell jesus what to do

later at your place, you could feel minhyuk very clingy

you: just for you to know, you are my world okay? I wouldn't leave for nothing and anyone. You know this right? I love you minhyuk.

minhyuk: I mean I know haha. But is good to listen... I love you so much, please don't leave me kihyun is so annoying.

you: I love you bitch

mh: I will never stop loving you

you: bitch

heart eyes mothrfuckr

yes this is the most romantic shit I have ever seen guys. 💗

↬ Hyungwon

really? Minhyuk???

he never asked you about your bias and those things

hyungwon.exe stopped working

actually he expected to be another member like shownu or wonho, even jooheon

but minhyuk? He was totally the opposite of him.

he kinda questioned why did you like him then?

maybe you were better with minhyuk? he was confused.

hyungwon is straightforward about his feelings so he waited for you when you both got at home to talk about this.

hw: so you prefer minhyuk personality?

you: baby no!!! look, minhyuk is nice ofc but... I didn't fall for him. You are the funniest, sweeter, kindest man that I had ever meet. I love to wake up with you being lazy, and the fact that you always talk to me and wait for the right moments. Please don't get these kinds of questions pop in your head okay? I love you, all of you, and only you.

hw: somehow that was everything I needed to hear, thanks baby. I love you too, all of you.

you: great let's watch my kdrama now.

hw: you mean, you watch while I take a nap cuddling with you?

you: that's exactly what I just said.

hw: perfect.

↬ Jooheon

Oh 🥵🥵🥵 this gif makes my body feel things

he was soft expecting your hug

but he saw you hugging kyun?

what

daddy did not like this attitude of yours

you know jooheon is pretty clear about how you are HIS babygirl

he won't be mad at you tbh

it was just a silly joke, so he just says to changkyun to not steal his girl and everyone thought it was fine

but deep down you knew it

oh you knew you were literally fucked

he won't let this pass

so when you got at home, you ran and locked yourself at the bathroom

jh: babygirl, are you okay?

you: please don't punish me, daddy, I swear I only love you. changkyun will never love me good like you, I will never love him like I love you please!!!!

jh: open the door and I will think about it.

When you opened the door, jooheon hugged you.

jh: is okay babygirl, I will be nice this time because you are so cute saying that you love me huh, so sweet. Let's go to bed, you seen tired, let daddy cuddle you okay?

you: thank you daddy 🥺

he actually fools you and made you scream his name all night.

Oops 🥵

but actually told you that he loves you and he knows you love him.

He trusts you.

He would give his life for you.

↬ Changkyun

Haaaa bitch this little tease won't EVER lose a chance to be cocky.

when you hugged wonho, it was his chance

ck: so wait, I am really that good in sex that makes you forget about mister muscles?

jh: jesus please don't

ck: honestly wonho you lose this godness TO ME? wow, what a dumb bitch wonho.

you: okay we get it please stop I love you bye

he stopped

but he knew

oh he knew that you were flustered

bc hell yeah he made you forget that wonho existed so ;)

and he is doing that because he knows you love him and he loves you. So why be jealous when you can SHOW OFF YOUR LOVE AND MAKE PPL LIFE'S MISERABLE?

satan collect your son. PLEASE

at home, you felt worried about him, thinking he may doubt you.

you: so... You know that you are so much better than wonho right?

ck: yeah I know

you: okay.... And hm... I love you so much.

ck: baby, I know. I am not insecure about it, relax, I know you love me and I love you and we will get married one day and have a little baby and be happy okay? That is on god's plan.

you: okay... Right. Are you sure you are okay?

he just looked at you

And kissed you so hard, that you left a low moan escape.

ck: keep doing those sounds for me and I might start the baby plan right now.

I hate him.

[tarakizz]

Friends? Dylan O’Brien

Masterlist

Warning: swearing, bad grammar 

genes: kinda angst, fluff

author: I just had some inspiration out of nowhere because you know trap in your own house because of a virus going around the world makes your, head kinda bored and all the inspiriting just come running in while you have read a thousand of another stories like this but hey s/o to all the people that write Dylan’s stories because now I have something to do in my house beside going crazy. (btw I'm so sorry for my grammars and mistakes in the story I tried my best to write but it’s hard to write in a another language, I hope you guys enjoy it anyway give it a like and share if you do ;) )

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have know Dylan before he was famous, he was the funniest, sweetest guy I have ever met and we spend a lot of time together and of course one of us caught feelings. It sounds stupid and cliche but it happened you fall in love with the most unexpected person and it totally sucks that you can’t choose which guy you want to give your heart to but yeah here I am watching my best friend kissing his girlfriend in the club at the after party from the maze runner movie. It totally breaks my heart but you know it’s better this way, him being happy with someone else and we are still best friend than him knowing I have the hugest crush on him and ruined the friendship that we build for the past 9 years. 

“hey y/n stop staring, you making yourself sad baby girl” Kaya said, Kaya is one of my closest friends and she knew about my crush for Dylan. “sorry I can’t help it, it sucks to be in love with him sometimes” I said looking away from them and taking a sips of my mixed drink. “I know it sucks but hey you are here at the after party find yourself a guy and try to forget about him” she said giving me a side hug. I smile at her before chucking all the liquor at once making me feel a little tipsy. “you know what Kaya your right fuck this feeling I don’t need it, I’m a independent woman and I don’t need anyone to have fun with so lets go to the dance floor and make this a unforgettable night” I said to her taking her hand leading her to the dance floor and she cheering me. we walk past Dylan and Britt ignoring him completely before letting my body loose and move along the beat. After a while I feel myself relaxing against someone body. I turn around and met with a green pare of eyes. “hello there gorgeous mind if I dance with you” he screamed above the loud music, I turn around to look at Kaya and she gave me a thumbs up before dancing with her man. “I wouldn’t mind at all” I said dancing with him enjoying his company.

after we dance we grab something to drink to cool off some sweats because we were dancing for a while now. “so tell me why are you here all alone” he ask. “well I'm not exactly alone I'm with my friends but yeah they all have someone so I'm like the third wheel here, but it’s okay I enjoy myself” I said looking at my glass. “I feel like there something you’re not telling me” he said with a curious look. “well.. there is something else but I don’t wanna talk about it” I said looking at him. “hey it’s fine I understand” he said brushing his finger along my cheek, making me blush a little. 

I feel like someone is staring at me so I look around and met with a pair of angry brown eyes. “is he someone special” he ask looking at me, I broke my eyes contact with Dylan and smile at the mystery guy beside me. “no he just my best friend” I said turning around facing the bar. “are you sure? he has been staring at you sinds the dance floor” he said. “yeah I am sure it’s nothing special, he has a girlfriend anyway” I said facing him. “well I think he feels more for you than just a best friend” he said tucking my hair behind my ear. “yeah sure” I said with a small chuckle. He lean in a little and whisper loud enough for me to hear. “do you really wanna see what he feels for you?” he ask. I thought for a little, do I wanna know how he really feels about me I ask myself before I nod my head. “trust me okay” he said still very close to me and I nod again feeling the blood rising to my cheeks. He lean in me very close but before our lips can touch he was being pulled away from me. “what are you doing” I hear a familiar voice, I look at the person that I have been crushing for years. “nothing dude just trying to kiss this gorgeous e/c eyes” he said sending a wink my way. I blush and look at my lap like it the most interested thing in the world. “well maybe you should back the fuck away” Dylan said blocking the view between me and the mystery guy. “and why would I do that” he challenge Dylan making his muscles tense. “because she’s mine” Dylan said before dragging me away from the bar, I look back and saw the mystery guy winking at me with a smile. I was confuse what was he trying to do and why did Dylan say that I'm his? there’s a lot of questions running in my head. 

when we finally stop I saw that we were outside the club in the small alley. Dylan turn around with an angry expression. “what the hell Y/n why would you let some random guy kiss you” he said looking at me like he’s about to loose control. “I see nothing wrong with that” I said not knowing why I said that probably because I was kind of drunk. “are you fucking serious right now” he said trapping me between the wall and him. I didn’t say anything just looking away. “why the fuck you care anyway Dylan, you were having fun with Britt so I don't see the fucking problem in me having fun” I said facing him and realise that we are very close, one wrong move and our lips touch. “you where having fun?” he said in a low whisper. I back away a little and nod my head. “so you think making me jealous is fun for you?” he said, my eyes wide. “you have know idea how you make me feel y/n” he said before looking at my lips and back at my eyes. “you make me go crazy sometimes” he said in a whisper before closing the gap between our lips. I was confuse, why he would kiss me but after that I begun to relax and kiss him back. it was a sweet slow kiss, I felt like all the problem in the world had melted down and it was only me and Dylan in that moment. I feel his hands making their way around my waist and my hands making their way up into his hair. small moans left our lips before I pull away for some air in my lungs. he place his forehead against mine before kissing it. “Dylan we can’t do this Bri-” I said before I got cut off by him. “we broke up a few weeks ago, we were just hooking up” he said before placing a small kiss on my forehead. “I'm sorry for kissing you out of nowhere and I totally understand that I ruined our friendship but I can’t hold my feeling for you anymore, I have liked you for 2 years and seeing you with him makes me mad and jealous even tho we are not together and I understand if you going to ig-” I cut him off by placing my lips against his taking him by surprise. before pulling way. “I like you to Dylan” I said with a smile. He gave me a smile back before pulling me into a another sweet kiss. 

we went back into the club hand in hand sitting at our table beside Kaya and her man. “finally you guys are together!” she said when she saw us making us laugh at her. “wait I though you and Britt where together?” she said with confused dripping off her tong. “well no we broke up a few weeks ago and we decide to just hook up, but she been seeing someone tonight so we decide to end things and than I saw y/n with some guy almost kissing her and something had kinda snap in me and I confess my feeling for her and here we are” he said waving our hand in the air making us laugh. “well it took you long enough, when I first saw you guys together I already saw the chemistry you guys share with each other” she said making us smile like a dork we are. The night had gone very smooth and when we went home I spent the night at Dylan’s so we just chill for a bit before falling asleep in each other arms. it was a start for a long journey at least I hope that we last. 

[strayneoculturekids]

enemies to lovers AU Doyoung x Reader

Summary: Your roommate was the worst possible person ever, always fricking nagging. The only person you’re able to complain to is your online friend, and in return, you listen to his complaints about his roommate. You two find out you got to the same college and finally he tells you his name, turns out he’s actually your roommate.

College AU, enemies to lovers AU

Genre: fluff, kinda slight a little bit angst but like not really, crack(?)

BTW “Y/U/N” means your username and for the sake of the story it can’t be your actual name

You walked into your shared dorm where you found your roommate sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He immediately turned his eyes to you when you walked in as if he was waiting for you to return.

“You didn’t clean up after yourself this morning, so I did it for you” 

Now, normally, cleaning up after someone when they forgot to do it is considered a nice gesture and you would’ve thanked them. With Doyoung though, his tone was so passive aggressive and you were much more than sure that he did it just so he could rub the fact that he’s cleaner than you in your face.

You grumbled a barely audible thanks, quickly going to your room so you didn’t have to look at him any longer.

You’ll admit, Doyoung is handsome. Probably the best-looking person you’ve ever met. But oh god was he annoying. Every second you spent with him was another cell gone from your brain. His constant nagging and passive-aggressive responses to everything were the worst things you had ever gone through.

You made it to your room, shutting the door behind you and immediately getting out your laptop from your bag, sitting down on the floor, placing the laptop in your lap because both you and Doyoung were too broke to afford two desks so you bought one and split the price. But the desk was in the room Doyoung was currently in and there was no way you were spending more time with him than absolutely needed.

You opened your laptop and got up the messaging app you used to message your closest friend. You’re pretty sure he knew like everything about you, and you knew everything about him. Including the fact that you were...pretty kinky. Hey, he was your closest friend, like you weren’t gonna tell him about all that.

[Y/U/N]: hey

[dongie]: heya, what’s up? You seem in a bad mood

[Y/U/N]: how were you able to tell that from one word

[dongie]: cuz i’m smart, unlike someone I know

[Y/U/N]: shuddup, you wish you were as smart as me

[dongie]: yeah yeah, just tell me what’s up

[Y/U/N]: my goddamn roommate is nagging again, he’s so annoyingly passive-aggressive. ughhhh save meeee

[dongie]: trust me, I wish I could but I gotta get to class like right now and unlike someone, I actually care about my grades

[Y/U/N]: wow thanks for making me feel better

[dongie]: I know, I know, I suck but hang in there. Your roommate is just a total dick. I gotta go now, love ya!

[Y/U/N]: love you too you absolute dummy

You smiled when you read his message. You guys told each other that you loved each other pretty much every day. It wasn’t a romantic thing but it definitely got you flustered, even after he had said it so many times.

This was basically routine for you two. You texted all the time but at least twice a day, you both would complain about your roommate to each other. He hated your roommate along with you and you hated his roommate along with him. It was a winwin situation. (A/N: sorry for my shit pun making skills)

Just as you were about to start studying, you heard the door slam shut, making you jump. Geez, could he be any louder? You thought, annoyed but glad that he was gone so you could use the desk.

The next day came around and you were so rudely awoken to the noise of the door being opened and then slammed shut. Again.

“Seriously?! I don’t have any classes until the afternoon! Could you be a little quieter?!” You yelled

No response.

Usually, he would argue back so you can guess that he had just gone to one of his morning classes and in fact, didn’t just come back from staying out ridiculously late after his night class yesterday.

Doyoung sucked. Like really sucked. But he was always on time for rent and never invited anyone over without your permission, plus he wasn’t a party guy and never trashed the apartment. He was just a dick in his attitude, not his behavior. Which you guess is the only reason you tolerated him.

You grumbled, rolling over on your side and grabbing your phone, seeing a message from your best friend.

[dongie]: hey, you up yet sleepyhead?

[Y/U/N]: ya, unfortunately

[dongie]: my roommate just yelled at me while I walked out of the apartment :(

[Y/U/N]: aw, my poor baby, you must be so devastated

[dongie]: I literally cannot tell whether you’re being sarcastic or not

[Y/U/N]: I’m being sarcastic. Anyways, what are you doing right now

[dongie]: I deserved that

[dongie]: and i’m just walking to class

[Y/U/N]: it just occurred that I never asked you what college you go to?

[dongie]: oh yea. I go to insert college name here

[Y/U/N]: ...

[dongie]: ?

[Y/U/N]: ...I go there as well...

[dongie]: ...

[dongie]: so you’re telling me that we’ve been going to the same college all this time and didn’t know?

You sigh, trying to calm down your racing heart as well as trying to prevent yourself from throwing your phone against a wall as hard as you possibly can

[Y/U/N]: yep, that’s exactly what i’m telling you

Immediately, you feel your phone vibrate and look to realize that he’s calling you. Like anyone would be, you were surprised but answered the call anyway.

“Holy SHIT” 

is the only thing you heard before silence and very ragged breathing

“I just screamed that in the middle of the street.”

“Dongie?” you asked, trying to hold back a bit of laughter

“Yep that’s me”

His voice sounded familiar but you couldn’t really put it to a face. It was over the phone so you couldn’t hear him that clearly

“so...are we meeting up?” you asked, trying not to freak out

“I’ll be fucked if we’re not”

You finally let out a laugh and you got a small chuckle in return. The only thing that went through your mind in that second is how beautiful is laugh was and how you wanted to hear more of it.

“I haven’t even told you my real name yet,” he said, slightly breathless “It’s Doyoung”

Your eyes went wide and before you knew what you were doing, you immediately hung up. You threw your phone at your floor, looking at it as if it were the most cursed object in existence

“...fuck,” you said aloud, just about ready to yell at the top of your lungs

You hear your phone vibrate again, most likely Doyoung trying to call back. You pick it up and deny the call, hands shaking.

[dongie]: Y/U/N?

[dongie]: hello?

[dongie]: what happened?

[dongie]: are you ok?

You turned away from your phone, trying to distract yourself. But it just kept vibrating because of Doyoung’s consistent and confused messages.

After a while, the vibrating stopped which you assumed was because Doyoung had reached his class.

About maybe two hours had passed and you voiched for studying on the desk the entire time. Normally you would procrastinate and leave it till last minute like every other completely logical college student, but all you needed right now was something to distract yourself with.

You heard the door open and turned around to see Doyoung, his eyes and shoulders droopy and his lips contorted into a frown. You had never seen him so sad in all this time living with him. It definitely hurt your heart.

“hey” he said quietly, quickly brushing past you to go to his room

You were frozen. You were pretty damn sure that you had never felt this bad about anything in your entire life. Ever.

You took in a deep breath and picked up your phone, your heart beat picking up. Your fingers shakily moved to call Doyoung. As soon as you hit the button, you heard a thump come from his room, as if he had fallen off of his bed and immediately after a very loud and worried hello, which you heard from your phone as well.

“Hey...”

“why did you hang up?! Did I do something?! Are you ok?!” you could hear everything he was saying loud and clear from his room

“yeah, you did”

“What is it?! I’ll do anything to fix it!” he sounded so desperate, making your heart ache even more

“yeah. You nag way toO FRICKIN’ MUCH” you said, getting louder with each word, making sure Doyoung could hear you from his room

There was more loud thumping and suddenly Doyoung burst out of his room, his eyes meeting yours. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes were wide.

“FUCK” he shouted before sighing extremely loudly “THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF HOW I WANTED TO MEET YOU”

“tell me about it” you said, trying to control yourself, not believing you had never noticed the resemblance between your online friends’ personality and Doyoung’s personality.

You both stared at eachother for a long time. Once the you had both calmed down, it started getting really awkward.

“I- this is too much” he said, confused

“Don’t worry, it took me a while to process it too”

Without warning, Doyoung started walking up to you and put his face at the same level as yours. You could see red rising to his cheeks and he opened his mouth.

“I love you.”

“You- you what?” you said, heat rising to your cheeks as well

“You’re annoying as fuck. I know you think I’m also annoying as fuck. But you’re also funny and you listen to my worries and always manage to make me smile with your utter stupidity, and I know that I also somehow manage to make you smile. I love you.”

you blinked a few times before what he had said completely registered in your brain.

“...I love you too. You absolute dummy” you said, a bit hesitantly

He smiled and pulled you into a slightly awkward hug. You would work out the fact that you two complained about each other to each other without knowing for who knows how long. For now though, let’s just focus on all the things you loved about each other.

[spidermecc]

Unintentional love (Elu fake dating AU) Ch. 3 - Never again

Elu fake dating AU chapter 3 is up. As always, comments and feedback is very welcome. I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think. Find it on AO3 here.

”Oh my God Lucas, just pick a fucking shirt, they all look the same” Basile grunted.

The boys had spent the last hour in the same mens-wear shop, trying to find a new shirt for Lucas to wear to the party tomorrow.

”Honestly Lucas, you’re already dating the guy, why are you so stressed out?” Arthur asked sympathetically, while Yann picked up two shirts and headed for the dressing room.

”Fuck off, I just thought it would be nice to look good for once, it has nothing to do with him” Lucas said, not completely being able to hide his blush.

He had never been the type to care about what he was wearing, but even though he’d rather eat dirt than admit it, he was probably trying harder because he wanted to impress Eliott. He knew he didn’t stand a chance anyway, and Eliott was just helping him out to be friendly, probably because he didn’t have many friends at his new school, but he couldn’t help but want to look a bit different at the party, and maybe, just maybe impress Eliott a little bit.

“Fuck it, I’ll just wear the same shit I usually wear, let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving” he said, giving up on trying to find anything nice. Everything he’d tried on was either way too expensive or way too .. not him.

“FINALLY, I was beginning to think I’d have to eat the granola bar that’s been in my bag for four years” Basille exclaimed, almost running out of the shop.

“Yeah, let me just pay for this and we can get out” Yann said, fishing for his wallet in his bag.

After they exited the shop, they found a nice little café with cheap pizzas and beers to hang out at. It was nice to chill with the boys, they didn’t do this kind of stuff often, but when they did, Lucas always enjoyed it, even though they drove him mad half the time. This time was no exception. They’d all been grilling him about Eliott all week, and Lucas had successfully avoided the topic every time.

“So tell us something about this mystery guy” Yan said, while cutting his pizza with the shitty plastic knife and fork the café had given them.

“I already told you guys a thousand times, there’s not much to say. We’ve just hung out a few times and well, yeah we’re seeing each other I guess” Lucas answered, trying to avoid the topic yet again.

“Nu-uh” Basile said taking a sip of his beer, “you’re not getting off the hook so easy this time. Tell us something about him, I mean how did you manage to hook up with him? He looks like an actual model, if I was gay or bi or whatever, he’d be on my TO-DO list” he said laughing at his own joke.

Lucas couldn’t argue with that. Eliott did look like a model. His perfectly messy hair, his signature brown jacket, and those eyes.. those eyes that Lucas saw every time he closed his eyes, were out of this world. But what did Lucas actually know about Eliott? He knew that he was absolutely stunning, that he apparently was interested in the foyer, he had no social media (none that Lucas could find anyway) and that he drew weird looking rats in the library alone. It wasn’t much to go on, and if this whole pretending to date thing was going to work, he needed more. He pulled out his phone and found his newly added contact: Mon mec <3

Lucas: Tell me three things I should know about you

As soon as he hit the send button, he started worrying. That was a weird text to send out of the blue right? Shit Eliott didn’t even have his number, he should probably tell him who’s texting.

Lucas: This is Lucas btw. Lucas: Your pretend mec, haha

Read

Putain, what the hell was that mess? He’d sent three incoherent messages and not surprisingly Eliott left him on read. Fuck, was he even going to show up to the party tomorrow after Lucas sent him weird ass shit like that?

“Are you texting your boyfriend?” Arthur asked, mouth full of peperoni pizza, oil dripping down his chin.

“Nah, it’s Mika, he forgot his keys, so I have to head back, see you guys tomorrow” he said, desperate to get out of there, go home and bang his head against the wall until brain cells, that he obviously didn’t have, magically started to appear.

“Okay, see you tomorrow man, can’t wait to meet Eliott” Yann said, with such an honest smile that it broke Lucas’ heart. He really hated lying to his friends, especially Yann.

“Yeah, he can’t wait to meet you guys either” he answered, putting on his scarf, feeling like an absolutely horrible friend.

____

When he finally got home he threw himself on the bed and yanked his phone out of his pocket. Still no answer from Eliott. Of course not, why would he answer such silly messages from a complete stranger? While Lucas was contemplating how to tell the boys that Eliott would not attend the party tomorrow, without letting them know that he’d been lying he heard a pling.

Eliott: Phew, you just go straight to the personal questions, huh Lucas?

Shit, he’d offended Eliott. Of course he had. He could have at least started off with a ‘hey’ or a ‘thanks for agreeing to be my pretend boyfriend and going to a party with a bunch of people you don’t know’.

Lucas: I’m so sorry, I know that was totally out of the blue and weird

Eliott: Hahah, I’m kidding Lucas.

Lucas felt a weight lift off his chest. So Eliott wasn’t upset with him?

Eliott: I’ve actually just spent the last hour thinking of a good answer and I think I have it, are you ready?

Lucas: I’m ready, hit me

His heart starting racing out of nowhere. The prospect of getting to know Eliott, even if it was just three facts, had him sitting on the edge of his bed, tapping his foot on the floor in pure anticipation.

Eliott: 1. My spirit animal is a raccoon. 2. My favorite music is dubstep. 3. You’ll have to earn the third.

Lucas read and reread the message for what might have been ten times. Dubstep? Really? How was this mystery guy, who looked and talked like an actual angel, into freaking dubstep? Also, a spirit animal? Lucas had never even considered what his might be, but God, Eliott was an actual dork.

Lucas: How do I earn the third?

Eliott: I’m sure you’ll figure something out.

Shit, was Eliott flirting with him, or was Lucas just imagining things? He decided not to dwell on it and continued tapping on his phone, forming a response quickly, so Eliott didn’t think he’d left him on read.

Lucas: So those rats with masks on them that you were drawing in the library were actually raccoons?

Eliott: RATS?! Wow Lucas, you’re already breaking my heart and we’ve only been dating for a week.

His heart started racing. He felt kind of sorry for teasing Eliott about his drawings, but he couldn’t help himself. He wondered if Eliott also had a huge grin plastered on his face right now, because Lucas sure as shit did.

Lucas: I’m a real heartbreaker, sorry

Eliott: Yeah, I noticed at the bus stop, no mercy huh? Eliott: So it’s your turn now, no?

The grin that had been dominating his face during the entire conversation fell as soon as he saw the message. Eliott had probably, maybe, meant it as a joke, but the prospect of Eliott thinking he was cold hearted, made him want to cry.

Lucas: Actually, I’ve got to go, I have a ton of homework. See you tomorrow at the party.

Eliott: Okay, see you tomorrow.

He threw his phone on the other side of the bed and buried his face in his pillows. He definitely wasn’t ready for tomorrow.

______

Lucas was standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to tame his hair. He’d been in need of a haircut for a while now, but he barely had money to pay the rent, so spending money on a haircut was the furthest from his mind, when Mika barged in. “Looking good kitten, meeting up with your new man?” he said, toying with Lucas’ hair. “Yeah, we’re going to a party tonight” he answered, swatting away Mikas hands. “Bring him over to the apartment some time, I have to approve before you take the next step you know” he said, still playing with Lucas’ hair, not getting the hint. “Need to see what his intentions are with our little kitten” he continued, laughing. “Gosh, can you please fuck off Mika, the last thing I need is you scaring him away with your sex talk” Lucas answered, starting to get slightly annoyed. “Gee always so touchy, you know you have to loosen up a bit, or you’ll never get any dick” he exclaimed, finally pulling his hands away in defeat. “Have fun, remember to use a condom” he finished with a wink, leaving Lucas’ hair in a worse state than it was to begin with.

As soon as Lucas left the apartment he regretted not bringing his scarf. The cool night air was already starting to sting, and he could feel his ears starting to cramp from the cold. He’d agreed to meet Eliott halfway, so they could arrive together, making the whole thing seem more believable.

“Salut” he heard a voice from behind. There he was, Eliott Demaury in all his glory. He looked stunning as always, wearing a white t-shirt, a skin tight leather jacket and skinny denim jeans, showing off his perfect figure. Lucas was pretty sure his mouth was starting to water, but he tried not to dwell too much on it. “Salut” he answered, trying to sound nonchalant, and probably failing miserably. “Let’s go” Eliott said as he started walking. Lucas was struggling to keep up, seeing as Eliott’s legs were much longer than his, almost jogging next to the taller boy.

As they walked, it almost felt like they’d known each other for ages. Lucas kept joking about the raccoon drawings, while Eliott dramatically clutched his chest, as if Lucas was breaking his heart all over again. They talked about music, which subjects they liked and disliked, which movies they liked (Eliott’s favorite was Titanic, how cliché), until they finally circled back to the drawings.   “You know for someone who looks so innocent, you sure can be a sarcastic little shit” Eliott laughed, after Lucas, once again, had made fun of the drawings. “I’m sorry. And I don’t look innocent” he said, another laugh escaping him. “Yeah you do. You’re short but spikey” Eliott said continuing “you know what you remind me of?” “What?” Lucas said, looking up at the taller boy, clinging on to every word he said. “A hedgehog” he said, bursting into giggles. “A what?! I do NOT look like a hedgehog” Lucas exclaimed, trying to look upset, but he was pretty sure the huge ass grin on his face gave him away. “Whatever you say, but I’m pretty sure that a hedgehog is your spirit animal” Eliott said, lightly puffing Lucas shoulder. Lucas couldn’t help but smile at how cute Eliott looked when he was smiling and joking and he wished that they could just keep walking for hours, talking and laughing.

As they reached the apartment, Eliott swung his arm around Lucas, who involuntarily flinched. “Calm down, it’s just for show right?” Eliott said, seemingly amused by the expression on Lucas’ face. “Yeah, sorry” he answered, staring down at the ground. As soon as they entered the smoke filled apartment, they were greeted with his loud friends. “LUCAAAAAAS” Basille screamed, trying to drown out the music. Yann shook Eliott’s hand, introducing himself as Lucas’ best friend, and Lucas felt a pang of guilt wash over him again. He really hated lying to his friends.

After the boys had introduced themselves, they all went out onto the balcony, where Arthur was trying to roll a joint, but failing miserably, having drunken one beer too many. “Here, let me” Eliott said, reaching out and taking the paper and weed from Arthurs trembling hands. “Damn, good looking and good with his hands, what a catch Lucas” Basile exclaimed, and Lucas had a sudden urge to throw him over the balcony. “I’m the one who got lucky” Eliott said with a wink, not taking his eyes off Lucas. He couldn’t help think of, how in another universe, they were actually dating, and he was happy and contempt with his friends and his gorgeous boyfriend getting along. But right here, right now, it all felt a little bit too much, and Eliott’s gaze made him feel sad about all the things he wished he could have but didn’t.

“It’s getting pretty cold, I think I’m going to head inside” Lucas said, grabbing his beer from the balcony floor. “I’ll go with you, here you go” Eliott said handing over the joint to Arthur, “nice to meet you guys, we’ll catch up later” he continued as he swung his arm around Lucas, and opened the balcony door for him. They had only been doing this for an hour or so, but it was already proving very difficult for Lucas to handle it. Every move Eliott made, seemed effortless and natural, he almost let himself believe for a second that they weren’t pretending.

They headed inside, and got comfortable on a couch in the corner. “Your friends are cool” Eliott said, taking a sip of his beer. “Yeah they’re great, they can be a pain in the ass, but they’re really the best friends a guy could wish for” Lucas answered honestly. “I’m jealous of you, you know” Eliott said, staring intensely at Lucas. “Huh?” “You have these great friends, and I can tell how much they care about you just by the way they were trying to impress me, it’s adorable” Eliott said, his smile dropping faintly. “I’m sure your friends are great as well” he answered, trying to cheer Eliott up, desperate to see him smile again. “Yeah, something like that” he said, putting the beer bottle to his mouth, almost finishing it in one sip. “I’m gonna get another one, can I get you anything mon mec?” he asked a playful smile lingering on his lips. “No I’m good, thanks” Lucas said, a faint blush appearing.

Eliott had been gone for almost twenty minutes and Lucas was starting to get worried. As he was getting up to look for him, a guy came over and sat down next to him. Lucas looked at him, and got the feeling he’d seen the guy before, but he couldn’t quite make him out. He had long blond hair, tied up in a tight bun, wearing a navy blue shirt and a silver necklace around his neck. “Salut, I’m Curtis” he said, handing Lucas a new beer. “Salut, Lucas” he answered, still scanning the room for Eliott. “Why do I get the feeling that I’ve seen you before?” he asked, confirming Lucas’ suspicion that he looked familiar. “I’m not sure, but I think I’ve seen you before as well” he answered, not fully committing to the conversation, still concerned about Eliott’s whereabouts. “I’m friends with Idriss, maybe you know Imane?” the guy said, scanning Lucas’ face, trying to catch his eye. “Are you looking for someone?” he finally asked. “Yeah sorry, I’m looking for my uh.. my-my boyfriend, Eliott” Lucas said, feeling awkward saying the lie out loud to a stranger. “Eliott is your boyfriend?” the guy asked, looking surprised. “Yeah, uhm why- do you know him?” Lucas answered, nervous that he’d overstepped, by calling Eliott his boyfriend to someone who might actually know him. “I don’t know him personally, but Idriss mentioned him a few times” he said, continuing “but uhm I saw Eliott on my way over here. He went into a room with Lucille, his ex-girlfriend” he said, looking slightly uncomfortable. “His what?” Lucas asked, his heart stopping for a few seconds. Eliott had an ex-girlfriend? Here at the party? Why hadn’t he told him? “Yeah, I recognized her from some photos Idriss showed me of them a while back” Curtis continued. Lucas could feel the heat rising to his face. He felt like he’d been completely fucked over. If Eliott wanted to hang out with his ex, which probably wasn’t an ex anymore if they’d spent such a long time alone in a room, he could have just told him.

“Hey, come on, I’m sure they’re just talking” Curtis said, trying to cheer Lucas up, who was now busy fiddling with the sticker on his beer, trying to hold the tears at bay. Why was he so upset? Eliott had upheld his part of the deal, he’d met his friends as Lucas had asked, so he probably thought it was done and over with. “I have an idea, let’s get some shots huh?” the blonde said, getting up and pulling Lucas up with him, dragging him into the kitchen.

Ten minutes and five shots later, Lucas was absolutely fucked. His vision was blury and he could feel himself babbling, not sure what words were coming out of his mouth, but apparently Curtis, who hadn’t stopped laughing for two whole minutes, found it very entertaining. “Can I tell you a secret” Lucas said leaning into Curtis, almost whispering in his ear. “Yeah, shoot” “Eliott and I aren’t actually dating” he said bursting out on laughter. It all seemed so funny and stupid right now. They hadn’t even been able to keep up the act for one night before Eliott was off with his ex and Lucas was spilling the secret to strange guys. “Come again?” Curtis said, seemingly confused. “Yeah, we’re just pretending, it’s aaaaaall fun and games” Lucas continued, still laughing like a maniac. “But why?” “Was trying” he was literally struggling for air, it all seemed so silly right now, he couldn’t stop laughing, “to get rid of a girl” he finally managed, taking another shot, almost spitting it out in the process, not being able to contain his laughter. “Wow, that’s.. that’s a relief” Curtis finally said. “Huh?” Lucas had finally stopped laughing and looked at Curtis, for the first time tonight he noticed how he was actually quite handsome. Not Lucas’ type at all, blondes just weren’t his thing, but he was definitely good-looking. “That means that I get to ask you out, what do you say” Curtis said, flashing a smile at Lucas. Lucas wasn’t sure what was happening, but he found himself giggling “suuuuure thing” he managed, between giggles. He was definitely too drunk, because this guy couldn’t actually just have asked him out right? And what had he answered? He suddenly couldn’t remember anything. But before he had time to process what just happened, and what he’d said, he felt his stomach turning. Without a word, he ran to the bathroom, knocking over some girl in the process, desperate to reach the toilet before he spilled his insides all over the floor.

After five minutes, Lucas had thrown up everything he’d drank all night and probably all of his meals the past five days. He managed to get up and wash his mouth and face, and got out of the bathroom, desperately looking for his jacket. He needed air, he needed to get out of here, when a hand touched his shoulders. “Eliott?” he said turning around, not able to hide his disappointment when he saw the blonde guy before him. “Hey are you okay? You just ran away, and locked yourself inside the bathroom, I was getting worried” “Yeah I’m f-fine” he managed “have you seen Eliott?” “He left with Lucille, I think” Curtis said, not meeting Lucas’ eyes. “Oh.. of-c-of course.. I should go as well” “Want me to walk you home?” Curtis asked, hand still on Lucas’ shoulder. “No, no, I’m good, I’ll see you later yeah?” he said, grabbing his coat from the couch and practically sprinting out of the apartment.

He wasn’t sure how or when he got home, but he finally managed to get to the apartment and throw himself on the bed, not bothering to take off his clothes. ‘Never drinking again’, he thought to himself, closing his eyes, trying to will the room not to spin, never again.

[tellywoodtrash]

ebss 09.07.19 lb

is this jai's girlfriend? she seems as idiotic and immature as him.

kabhi naa chodne ke kasme vaade = she's gonna dump his broke ass in about 5 episodes.

sonali's here! she's literally the only character i like on this show right now so seeing her really brightens up my day.

are jai/sonali supposed to be twins? i kinda get the vibe that they are the same age.

anyway, sonali, bless her heart, gave all her money to jai. which was a grand total of 150 rs.

jai manhoos is like “itne ka main kya karoonga?????”

NIKAL L****, PEHLI FURSAT MEIN NIKAL.

god sonali take your money back from this fool.

rani still on maun vrat with di, and tbh, this is the smartest thing she's done on this show ever. reasons are stupid, but pooja really isn't worth wasting time with rn.

amma continues to be the only sensible person on this damn show, by telling pooja not to waste time messing with kabir. and in response pooja's like NO BUT HE'S THE ONEEEEEEEE WHO... ffs wtf are you 6?????/ he offered to get you justice AFTER you tried to set his father on fire, and tried to make peace once more even after that. you're the one who started this petty nonsense with him.

OK THIS BISH CRAZY. before she at least used to listen to amma's voice of reason, now she's just straight up doing the opposite. she's become absolutely not worthy of rooting for, unless in situations of misogyny.

what kinda next level of extra???????? this is beyond oberoi levels of extra also.

there's everyone's shocked faces, and then there's kabir's eyeroll reaction, lmao.

kabir toh has been getting out his rage by doing some phadda everyday, aaj dhruv ko finally outlet mila hai.

but in vain. kabir just hauled him away like:

valiant chachi trying to attack but lmaoooooooo, pooja's like "pls stop yelling; heart attack TYPES (complete with shoulder shimmy action) aa gaya toh ab doctor bhaaga bhaaga nahi aayega."

and also adds that chachi is very irritating and she doesn't know how she tolerated her for all this while. saalon ki bhadaas nikaal rahi hai, lol.

lol pls note how kabir is mad, but not disagreeing or stopping her from saying any of it.

lo bhai ab sabke saamne hogi inki tashanbaazi.

sikke dene ke bahaane haath is taraah kyun chua be????

"aapke chashm-o-chiraag, aapke secret agent, mr. kabir mittal ko maine apne yahaan naukri dene ka mann bana liya."

dhruv is like i did not know that was an option, or i too would have applied.

ohoho kyaaaaaa hi swag. just fuck and get it over with man.

lol mummy legit said "tum jaati ho ya main sach much ke pagalpann pe utar aaoon??"

kabir's like mom pls stop cockblocking can't you see we're doing foreplay here???? in any case, yes babe, i'm down to get dirty with you. in more ways than one.

i was on his side for this battle until he said "hum tehre paidaaishi rayeez" and now instantly i want to kill him too.

pooja sharma really living up to her namesake and giving appropriate response.

ugh. both of you suck. (BUT ALSO THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO TURNED ON AFTER TUSSLING WITH EACH OTHER???? Y’ALL NEED TO STOP WITH THIS SHIT.)

sab kabir ke oopar toot pad rahein hai. let the guy eat, unlike the rest of you, he's the only one who's done some shit today.

dhruv is probably like ‘i don't like how those two had more sexual tension in front of all of us in these 3 min than i had with her in our bedroom for over a year.’

elevator music playing in kabir's head as everyone yells around him.

HEY! NOT THE MITHAIS! THERE'S LIKE ONE BOX PER PERSON, WHAT THE FUCK, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DESSERT FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.

oh boy, this is turning awkward. esp. with the reminder that pooja was his biwi. kabir pls keep that in mind and stay tf away from your pseudo-bhaabi.

apparently this is ~THE ONLY JOB HE COULD GET WITHOUT HIS CERTIFICATES~~~~~ areeeeeeeee you fucking kidding me???? 1. you already HAVE a job. which for some godforsaken reason you're determined not to do. 2. pls. you have like 5, 6 years of work experience. that counts more on the resume than any certificates. fuck outta here with this bs. just tell the truth: you wanna play these games with her, coz life mein aur kuch nahi bacha karne ko.

very pointed taunt on how will i handle your new sharaab waale kharche if i don't work, bitch, since you seem to show noooooooooo inclination to go to work yourself.  

dhruv at least has the decency to look embarrassed.

lmao after saying all that, kabir is like "main tumhe taunt nahi kar raha hoon." lol, sure.

he's asking everyone if they have any other brilliant 1.6 lpm jobs lined up for him that he can waltz into.

dadaji is like "tu theek nahi kar raha hai." this asshole only has objections, never solutions. chal na buddhe.

bir, out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daily sar pe haath rakhne ka quota has been filled.

i'm telling you bro, still not too late; go get your wife and kid and disappear into the hills somewhere.

mummy is like ........ why bro. honestly why?

ispe na jaane kaunsa bhoot sawaar hai badla lene ka. shaayad apne haraami baap ka.

also he fully admitted that job toh kahin bhi mil sakti thi, but he chose to work in her company. glad that’s cleared up in canon itself.

idhar amma is like y u lyk dis, you horrible child?????

um excuse me, tumhaari haraami family NE HI sab kuch bigaada hai uska. do you not know the whole story, or are you just closing your eyes to it??????

and this mummy, why isn’t she fessing up to what she really did???? sab ke sab haraami log.

kabir: main uske aas paas rehna chahta hoon. amma: maine kaha tha kabir ko khud se door rakh. pooja: main khud chahti hoon ke kabir mere aas paas rahe. amma: tu bohut bada khatra mol le rahi hai.

this is one fuckall petty hate story that's being made to sound like a mighty star-crossed love story. thanks, no thanks.

lord, just give up, moms. your kids are being fueled by the power of petty and not going to listen to you ppl and your logic and reason.

idgaf about these two's passionate promises to make each other's lives miserable. you know whose life you're making miserable with this bullshit? mineeeee, you fuckers.

haaaaaaaaye raja beta looks so good in white shirt. this right here is my kryptoniteeeeee. fuck my nonsense heterosexuality.

cute exasperation but mummy pays no heed. and has a mauli for him too.

"aapko border pe hona chahiye tha. yeh aarti karke dhaage baandhogi toh kisi ko kuch hoga nahi."

fuck outta here you cute fuck i don't want to like you.

mom's like as far as i’m concerned, you're going to the border only. meaning pooja sharma is considered more dangerous than full fledged armies/terrorists. lol good. fear her.

"arre waah ghar ki doodharu gai ki aarti ho rahi hai."

lmao man i am really liking sassy dhruv. he has so much more personality now.

passive aggressive back and forth, but honestly, i am enjoying. what even is happening to this show when i like dhruv's sada hua personality more than pooja/kabir? absolute pandemonium, that's what.

"is sab ka hisaab degi pooja sharma." hey man, fuck outta here. your brother was a loser even before she did all this. don't put this on her.

amma is cutely fussing over pooja eating breakfast.

hein? who has raj bhog for breakfast? and chocolate cake too?

a bitch with zero fucks to give, like rani, apparently. salaam to her fearless appetite.

the only time i like pooja now is when she shows her vulnerable/loving human side, that the old her used to exhibit only to amma/rani/shail/aarush.

btw, i like this outfit/makeup muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh better, but ouff that ghatiya mismatch of a neck piece. why?????

———————————————————————

precap: same shit, different day. how long are we going to have to put up with this??????

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: A Wedding

Masterpost

6x08: A Wedding

It’s kind of fitting that I’m writing this on the weekend that Darren and his lovely long time girlfriend/fiancee Mia are getting married.  It’s also Love, Love, Love week in the TDB rewatch, and I mean Valentine’s Day weekend (but eh I’ve never cared about that.)  

Anyway! ..  Alright guys - we’re here! The culmination of the entire Klaine arc -- right here and...  Alright, let’s be honest, this episode is, well, lacking.  Personally, I think they could have added another hour to the episode - fleshed out the reunion just a tad more, given Blaine’s mom an actual story, and maybe not tie Klaine and Brittana in a nice bow together (personally - Klaine eloping would have been an interesting route).  

But this is Glee.  And it was more interested in being propaganda for gay marriage.  And hey!! I’m totally here for all the gay marriage, and LGTB rights -- yes let’s do that!! But here... they sacrificed organic story for their message, which is mostly why I think this episode is disappointing.  It kind of forgot about the heart of the characters

High-End Barn Wedding

So - we kick off the episode with Wedding Planner!Kurt... so for all of you who wished Kurt had planned his own wedding, well -- he mostly did.  Actually, Artie is supposed to be the one who’s the wedding planner - but what has he really done?  Really? It seems fitting that Kurt would take over the job. 

While I don’t hate this episode (or even feel as disappointed by it) the way some of you do -- there are a few things I am sad we didn’t get with Klaine’s impromptu wedding shenanigans.  I would have loved to have seen some kind of bachelor party shenanigans -- complete with a return of Cooper to crash either Blaine’s or Kurt’s weddings.  I mean - how much fun would that have been?? Not to say that later, Cooper didn’t show up and throw some bachelor parties anyway after they got married. ;) 

So, here’s my first issue with the episode.  Kurt has a whole scene where he tries to calm down Brittany cause she’s freaking out and projecting her anxiety about getting married onto the little details of the barn set up.  (Huh - totally wish we could have seen pre-wedding neurotic Kurt, too.)  Kurt’s calm and collected and gets things going.  

Okay, what frustrates me is that in the script - IN THE SCRIPT - there’s a moment where Brittany lingers on more about Kurt and his called-off wedding, and Kurt gets a little dreamy about the wedding planning, etc, etc -- and honestly, this one section would have fixed, like, 90% of my issues.  See -- narratively speaking - Kurt needs a reason, a catalyst to run off and go see Blaine.  He doesn’t have one in the episode, which makes the whole reunion feel out of nowhere and jarring.  -- Likewise, in Love, Love, Love - the reunion was slightly out of nowhere, but at they at least alluded to it in a few lines and slightly set it up at the end of season 4.  

But this time around, episode 7, being totally Blaine focused doesn’t have room to give Kurt his ‘ah-ha!’ moment.  Which means there’s a link that’s not there.  It was in the script... and then they cut it out.  Why?? I don’t understand.  

So, if they didn’t want to go that dreamy over a wedding thing - they could have also give Brittany the chance to tell Kurt about Blaine and Karofsky splitting up -- which would also be a catalyst and cause Kurt to start running.  Mostly, though, this episode just isn’t well written.  **shrugs** 

Anyway - we get some awkward jokes from Brittany about Kurt’s ‘boyfriend’ being older than his dad.  Which is - ew.  But also I really don’t think Kurt is considering Walter his boyfriend, especially since Kurt just kinda doesn’t even acknowledge the comment.  Meanwhile, to prove this episode is just awkwardly written - there’s a joke in here where Brittany doesn’t know that Burt Hummel is Kurt’s dad.  But the set up is that Kurt calls his dad by his first name -- which he’s never done... ever.  Who would say their parents’ name instead of saying -- hey my dad could help?  

The details of this episode are... just not good, which is truly the unfortunate thing.  

Run, Kurt, Run

So -- without any kind of set-up this scene feels... well... a little awkward, so let’s pretend Kurt has reason to feel that he and Blaine are actually going to the wedding together (there’s nothing missing from the script that sets it up either, btw.)  

Basically - he’s doing the mature thing of telling Walter first that it’s over -- not that there was much to end, honestly.  Obviously, he’s been talking to Walter about the Brittana wedding - enough so that Walter thinks they’re getting tuxes or something, (he’s really kind of assuming here) but Kurt says straight up - no, he’s going with Blaine.  And the subtext here is --- hey it’s been fun, but I’m totally getting back together with my ex -- as if I haven’t talked about him enough, he totally kissed me, like, a week ago, and I came back here to get him, and I think we’re ready to be ‘on’ again, so you’re a nice dude, Walter - but I’m going in the direction I’m supposed to be.  

Walter doesn’t seem shocked or surprised or even hurt that this is all going down.  We get a lovely speech about young love and how Kurt should feel lucky that he gets to be in his youth to experience young (gay) love.  And, I mean.... it’s a nice speech and all, but it feels more like older gay talking to younger gay about how he wishes he could have been wiser in his youth to run towards love.  And an other example where the episode leans in to the idea of ‘gay marriage good’ rather than showing us how it can be good by organically letting these couples have their moments.  Oh show... 

The part I do like about Walter’s speech, however, is the advice he gives Kurt (which is actually similar to Brittany’s only taken in a different direction).  He tells Kurt to go live, get hurt, get back up again, hang on to love, and, well, god I’m going to say it, don’t stop believing.  And it almost feels like this is something that Kurt’s been waiting to hear for a while -- this kid has placed a protective shield around his heart for a long, long, long time now and he’s ready to be fully open with it again.  He’s ready to let Blaine in fully -- and this is the reason I’m fine with the wedding being so soon after the reunion (even if the narrative is super awkward).  

This whole journey from mid-season three to now has been about growing up, and figuring out how to be adults in love, and understanding that being in an adult relationship is different than the fairy tale their relationship started out being.  And I love that concept -- love it! Even if I think how they told it is bumpy, awkward, and lacking a few key moments.  

So -- in a mirror to the scene where Blaine and Karofsky split up (yeah - this “break up” is definitely the same kind of sentiment) Kurt starts running to go find Blaine... 

Alright - so while this little reunion scene is rushed, I do like the urgency of it.  From the moment Kurt runs in the door - he’s all, I love you, I’ve always loved you, I want and need you -- right now.  He’s anxious - because he’s completely being emotionally honest right now -- and that’s not something Kurt really ever does.  Blaine’s a little shocked at this development - but he’s been ready, too, so hey let’s just confirm we’re back together and call it good.  (And yes, they probably had sex right then and there with the door open - because TV logic, but also because they just need to be with each other right now, and the talky stuff can wait until after the physical release.) 

So.  This idea that they get back together without solving their issues... here’s what I want to say about that.  First of all -- Kurt has his one line of -- ‘I know everything was a mess before but now it’s not’.  And, yeah, that does kind of wallpaper over things nicely - but I’ll argue that it’s also true.  They had to work a lot on themselves this time around and they did that (mostly between season 5 and 6, actually).  Kurt -- who sometimes runs away from the emotionally difficult situations (he broke it off with Blaine because he feared emotionally difficult would lead to something that can’t be fixed) has now run back into Blaine’s arms, knowing well that his heart will get bruised in what will be their long relationship -- but like the advice he gave to Blaine last season, it’s about trust, and he trusts himself that it’ll be okay.  

Look - they’re always going to have issues, because every couple does.  They’re always going to have things to work on and work through -- because that’s real.  They aren’t two kids in a fairy tale relationship anymore, they’re two adults understanding what being in an adult relationship really means.  And yeah, Glee could have fleshed this moment out, could have Kurt and/or Blaine explicitly say that - but you know? They really didn’t need to.  

They fixed themselves in the early episodes of this season, the elevator gave them their friendship back, along with the ability to be with each other in an enclosed space, and Transitioning demonstrated that the spark is (as it always was) still there.  So all they had to do was ditch the plot devices boyfriends and commit to each other.  

And I do love this little moment, as Blaine just is like ‘fuck it’ and goes in for the kiss.  While Kurt relaxes into his arms, finally able to reach the goal he set out for himself in the beginning of the season.  My only “issue” with this scene is that they could have let it breath a little longer -- let the kiss be a little longer as they begin to enjoy each other again.  But because this is Glee, and five million things going on, it’s cut away from very quickly.  

American Gothic

So - according to, um, something this cute little moment was just Chris and Darren screwing around.  I’m not gonna meta Klaine and American Gothic (the name of the famous painting in case you didn’t know.)  

Instead - I’ll take a moment to talk about Blaine’s mom.  Again, in the script, more stuff about her -- the reason she’s there was to do Brittana’s make-up (and, you know, be apart of the the mom’s group number).  It’s hinted that Blaine’s dad left her and Cooper says hi.  Geez.  I also think it’s super weird that she hasn’t met Carol -- but did the writers give a shit? Nope, I just feel bad for Gina Gershon who is a lovely actress and they could have done so much with her, but instead do virtually nothing.  I mean she and Blaine don’t even get a scene together.  Ah well.  

This scene is also, well, awkwardly written.  Does Burt not know that they’re back together? (I find that hard to believe.)  The prep work for this scene just don’t make much sense.  Okay -- who was this written by? Hmm staff writer Ross Maxwell who’s been there since season three.  He wrote Dance With Somebody, but also Previously Unaired Christmas and Sweet Dreams.  This was directed by Bradley Beucker who did a lot of the big Klaine episodes, so I can’t even place fault there.  Idk - this episode’s details are just so jarringly off, and there’s enough of them that it does take me out of the story a little bit. 

Alright, so beyond my complaining about awkward set ups.  Kurt gets told for the second time in fifteen minutes that he’s got to squeeze life to the fullest.  You can’t predict what’s gonna happen next -- death, hardship, etc, etc, so live your best life, whatever that might be.  Burt (hilariously) blames his philosophizing on there being a wedding, but Glee’s season 6 meta kick is still firmly here.  

The thing I love about Kurt here though as he listens to his dad (and Carole) ramble on... he’s so happy and relaxed and reflective.  Being together with Blaine again has just put his life back on track again.  He is where he’s supposed to be and for the first time since the season started - he’s smiling and wistful and I love this kind of zen Kurt.  But he’s also paying attention to his dad, too.  This is all obvious set up for Kurt’s decision to get married on the spot, but it’s a nice sentiment, too -- that yeah, take a leap of faith - because you never know how long you’ll have the chance to do so. 

Legit Brittan-emergency

I like the first few seconds of this scene - where they’re just casually chatting about the wedding while holding hands.  They’ve been (nicely) not separated since they got back together, and I like this underlying theme that they want to have close physical contact as much as possible cause they missed quite a lot of that over the summer.  

Anyway - Sue storms in and ruins the moment - and they aren’t playing dumb again! They won’t be getting locked in an elevator in a barn in Indiana so Sue can force them to have sex.  Nope - that’s for the fic writers ;) 

She’s got something else in mind... 

Hey... at least she used the their season 6 (?) promo pics and not the creepy version she had in her hurt locker.  It’s hard to say when Brittany got involved.  I’d say the moment Sue walked in with the tuxes and the stand-ups.  But Brittany claims she had this figured out while planning the wedding - which explains her kinda weird passive-aggressive attitude towards Kurt in the first scene, but since half of it was on the cutting room floor, it’s hard to buy here.  But, you know, Santana’s gonna be okay with it and Brittany stops time with her mind, so you can figure the timeline out yourselfs on that one.  

So, let’s break this down a little, shall we?  After Brittany gets through her rambling about Klaine being role models (sure...) Sue jumps in and continues to break the fourth wall.  Yeah -- she manipulated and kidnapped them, but she is... not us in this instant, but the writers.  Because that’s what writers do -- we torture our characters so that they can have the happy ending we want to give them.  

However, the Doylist view is not a favorite among many, so I’ll say - I’m not excusing Sue for her behavior.  Don’t manipulate and kidnap people... it’s not nice and can be pretty hurtful.  So - no, I’m not condoning Sue’s actions -- just explaining how Sue’s outside the narrative completely at this point.  

I know a lot of people didn’t like this whole idea of Kurt (and Blaine) being what feels like forced to get married.  And I will say this -- no one was forced to get married.  No one was coerced.  And had the script done its job correctly (I mean it tried - within the Walter and Burt speeches respectively) Kurt (and Blaine) being thrown an impromptu wedding would have felt much more organic.  But this is Glee... in a world where real life rules don’t always apply.   

I will say... had Kurt not wanted to - he would have flat out said no.  No one has ever pushed Kurt Hummel around, least of all Sue and Brittany.  In no way, shape, or form did anyone force Kurt to get married.  And I really would like to make that clear -- there’s always a choice.  

So - here’s the thing... Kurt’s mind is spinning.  Things like this, this is crazy.  His entire life, he’s tried to plan out to be perfect, and it’s always kind of blown up in his face.  At the same time, life has always made him struggle, and now he gets the chance to have something nice -- and that’s... unexpected in the least.  

Let’s hear his arguments...  

This is crazy -- because it is.  Who shares their wedding with someone else just for the hell of it? No one - because that is ridiculous. 

He and Blaine just got back together -- but Kurt isn’t that concerned about this part of it, because he does know he and Blaine are forever.  He’s beginning to get giddy with the idea here, but no - logic still prevails. It’s not that he and Blaine just got back together that’s the issue... it’s that Santana wouldn’t let them. But, eh, no, Santana’s gonna let things go cause plot.  

He then says the following... It’s romantic.  Sweet.  And a little weird.  Not -- I hate this idea.  Not, it’s not going to work.  Not, I don’t like these kind of surprises and I feel threatened.  No, he’s smiling and excited and his mind is reeling at the prospect.  He’s trying to be (semi-)logical about this, but his big, romantic heart is winning out.  

Kurt says there’s no possible way they can get married, and looks to Blaine for confirmation... 

Meanwhile, Blaine’s in the background.  He’s a little timid, because he’s the one who never stopped wanting to be married.  His only line is (lamely) about the rings, which Sue has covered.  Honestly, I would have asked about the marriage license, but I’m sure Sue has one of those already forged as well.  

But the thing is - when it comes down to it, Blaine’s ready -- he’s always been ready, and he’s just waiting for Kurt to finally, finally say yes.  We get them holding hands, as Blaine stutters his way through an awkward speech.  And then we cut to commercial....

Ug.  

No really, why did this have to be an act break cliffhanger? Again, this writing! You could have had Blaine give a nice speech about being ready, and just waiting for Kurt and being okay with whatever they choose to do... and then Kurt could say that he does, indeed want to be married to Blaine.  It’d have been a nice romantic moment here that... well, is no left to fanfic writers, I suppose.  I also think it might have helped give Kurt some agency some felt he was lacking in this scene.  

In addition, there is a nice wrap around moment - Kurt says in the series premiere during the break up scene - maybe he doesn’t want to get married.  Now he’s faced with that choice again, and it comes full circle.  Well... maybe in fact, he does... 

I will say... the end of the scene, Kurt’s not scared Blaine will say he wants to get married and he’ll be forced into it.  He wants to see if Blaine really does, because if he does -- Kurt’s given his choice.  He’s scared, but also thrilled, because he could be given a pass to indulge on this huge romantic moment. 

At Last 

The moment Kurt comes on screen, we know his choice has been made, and look how he has this happy-drunk look on his face.  As soon as Blaine said (off screen) that he wants to be married, Kurt probably snapped to and bam! let the romance happy-times begin.  He knows -- based on all his previous experiences - that marriage won’t be an easy thing.  He does.  But now is their time to have a wonderful and lovely start to their marriage (and free!!) why not take this leap? 

Anyway, I kind of love that he gets to walk with Brittany.  They’ve got an interesting history together - and are both special unicorns, and I love that they get this little aisle walking moment together.  

Meanwhile - let’s talk about the song At Last, beautifully sung by Mercedes and Artie.  Klaine’s season 6 story, again being told not in songs that they’ve sung.  This song is very them - and was originally going to be used during their car makeout session back in I Do, but I’m glad they saved it for here.  It does fit Klaine, Brittana, and the whole gay marriage thing nicely.  

Look at this bb waiting for his future husband to walk up the aisle.  Again, I love how happy Kurt is! How relaxed! He even looks younger in this scene, because, c’mon, when’s the last time he’s been /this/ happy??  (Totally, btw, not the face of someone who doesn’t really want to be up there ;)) Kurt Hummel is getting married - and he is fucking excited about every last ounce of it.  

Burt’s Speech = Gay Marriage Good and worth fighting for!!  (I’m so glad they legalized it the summer after this was out) 

I do like that in Burt’s speech, however, he does mention, again, some sentiments he did back in Love, Love, Love -- marriage is freakin’ hard.  But it’s worth it if you keep working at it.  

Oh - which probably brings me to another issue people had.  All season Kurt keeps reiterating that they’re too young to get married.  (And yeah, ngl, they are - and I really didn’t need this in my Klaine story)  But two thoughts on this  

1 - Kurt was holding on to the too young thing as an excuse for the other issues they were having... yeah, he didn’t want Finchel to get married because they were too young, but also definitely not ready.  Kurt’s been through a ton, and at this moment, knows he and Blaine are committed to each other, so why not make it official -- especially since they are gay, and now can get married, it is a big deal.  

2. I’ve talked a lot about Klaine being a fairy tale - and, while I don’t believe the story stops once you get married, and also believe Klaine was spiritually married back in Love, Love, Love, their story remains being framed as a fairy tale, and this is the happy ending, so narratively, it does all make sense. 

The vows.  Yeah, um, okay.  So - my biggest issue here is that they’re all spliced together.  This speech, kind of, doesn’t work - I mean, Santana says she’s been bullied? Really? They’re trying to tie both narratives together and tie that in with the theme of ‘gay marriage good’ and ug, c’mon.  They could have nicely had one couple go and then the other, and it could have been a little more personalized.  But whatever.  

I will say! I think Kurt has the best lines, though.  I love, love that he talks about being someone who always walked in the dark, and that Blaine did not force him into the light, but tore the stuff down that covered the sun.  It’s really a beautiful notion - and one that says just how much Kurt loves, appreciates, and wants Blaine in his life.  He’s always walked on his path on his own, but he doesn’t want to be alone anymore - Blaine is vital to him, and he always wants Blaine there to help him through.  

I also like the sentiment that they’re a work in progress.  It’s a nice nod to the fact that it isn’t the end of the story (while it is mostly for Klaine and absolutely for Brittana).  

(Also - possibly shallow side note - Chris and Darren are just way better actors than Naya and especially Heather, and putting them side by side is a little jarring, too.  Oops.) 

Because touch and holding hands has always been a part of their narrative... 

Old Marrieds... 

Happy Big-Ass Double Gay Wedding! 

Was it everything you ever wanted? Meh, no, but I’ve never been a fan of weddings in general - and nothing was gonna be able to top the proposal anyway.  This is where the whole double wedding with a theme of social progression got in the way - because I think it stripped both couples (a little) of their own personalized story.  But it was fine, and did what it needed to do.  And Klaine got their happily ever after. 

OTP

Yes, Kurt’s face is how I feel about (most of) the rest of the episode.  We could have gotten a nice moment between Blaine and his mom - instead we get a full minute of Brittany’s dad being awkward and weird and unnecessary.  

So, then Santana goes into this whole speech about OTPs.  Omg... I know some people got uncomfortable with the fourth wall breaking in The Hurt Locker (both parts) but here I get a little squicky.  Who uses otp in real life? And Santana has hats, god... 

But, that aside, Kurt’s face is loving and happy when Santana mentions that he and Blaine have found each other - and it’s sweet and nice.  And... omg, you can tell they’re back together again because to the background my lovely couple -- we’re playing by season 3 rules again! 

No, okay my biggest issue -- bigger than the whole they don’t really get a first dance thing - is that they don’t get a moment to reflect -- at all -- about getting married.  And this is kind of a trend -- they get together in Original Song, do they really get to reflect on that? Eh.. not really.  What about their first time in The First Time?? Nope - they don’t speak about sex again for a long, long time.  What about getting engaged??? Eh, not really anything on that -- so I shouldn’t expect anything.  But man - it would have been nice if they had one private moment together just so they can have that one private moment together to revel in the fact that they are married and together-together.  

(so, now we’re to two scenes this episode is missing for Klaine - shoulda been a two hour long episode...) 

Instead of anything meaningful, we’re going to have songs now because we’re contractually obligated at this point to do something in this music-related show.  (god, does this episode shoehorn in the music).  I am kinda laughing at HeYa, though, cause it’s so, so meta.  I’m also incredibly glad there was never a song Called CrissColfer.  

Why didn’t Kurt, Blaine or Santana get to dance during this song though? Boo...At least they’re in the background...?  Oh wait, they do at the end? And Blaine kinda dances with his mom, while Kurt dances with Carol? I mean, it’s kinda cute, but I’m still rolling my eyes a little. 

And then we get more songs! This time the Treble Tones bring up the Moms for - I’m So Excited. I mean, I get it - if you’re gonna have Gloria Estefan on and not have her sing, it’s a bit ridiculous.  But, ngl, I’m a little bored by this one.   And it’s essentially two in a row (though the unnecessary Tina proposes to Mike plot happens in between).  Kurt freaking out over Carole going crazy is kinda cute, but not enough to help the second half of this episode from being bogged down in musical numbers that feel obligatory. 

We close out the reception-of-no-plot with Our Day Will Come.  I like the little intro, where Kurt gets giddy about calling Blaine his ‘husband’.  And it’s a sweet thank you to Brittany and Santana for letting them do the thing.  But..  

Okay, this is where I would have wanted, maybe... a more romantic song, sung by someone else, so that Klaine could slow dance.  That was, like, the one thing I wanted in the second half of the episode, and I didn’t get it.  I am a little sad about it.  But at least they get to sing and look lovingly at each other?  

This song is... fine.  I’m surprised they hadn’t done this particular quartet before.  It’s got a nice 60′s island beach theme going on.  And it’s... again... a gay marriage = good song.  It’s not really about Klaine or Brittana, it’s about gay people getting married.  And - really, I promise, I am so happy that everyone is now able to get married here in the U.S.  I want all the gay rights (and all the rest of the letters, too).   But, c’mon, guys, you can sell that without being explicit -- these characters meant enough to enough people that just by them getting married and having a normal and organic way of things, it would have sold your message just fine without having to hit us over the head again with it.  

There is a little bit of the lyrics I’d like to pull out though... 

Kurt with Blaine: Our dreams have magic Because we'll always stay In love this way

If you’d like to know how the writers think this romance will play out... well, then, there ya go... and the show’s now over, so this is the way they’ll always be in our hearts.  :) 

The Gender Gentle AnderHummels

So, this is perhaps my favorite scene in the episode, and not just because of Kurt in that Kitten sweater.   I think it’s because it’s the only scene in the episode that breathes a little, and allows both couples not to be saddled with the weight of carrying a HUGE MESSAGE of a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE - but about these two couples being themselves.  It’s also the only time we really get to see Married Klaine interacting outside the tiny bit we get in the series finale.  

Sue’s there to give them their honeymoon packages -- (oh Sue, meddling still in their plans...) And it’s okay that you guys only get a weekend versus Britanna’s month in the Bahamas... Brittana doesn’t get any more screen time, and you guys only get your one episode off.  So, there’s that.  

But then we get this little tag at the end (complete with season 2 scoring!) where Klaine and Brittana get a moment to themselves.  I like that Blaine says that he can’t believe they got married, while Kurt is totally not fazed by that at all, and instead is amazed they survived the reception.   (I’m sure the two of them snuck out early)  

But then there’s this moment, where Kurt reaches behind him, automatically, for Blaine’s hand and they both look so, so happy.  There was a big post going around for a while with intensive meta on it about this single moment, and man, I wish I could remember what it said, because it probably summarized it much better than I can.  Beyond the whole hand holding thing -- again, the two are just so comfortable with each other - having found each other, and having made a life long commitment.  

And, here’s why I think getting married wasn’t such a bad thing for this narrative.  The ring is a symbol.  And that somewhat toxic downward cycle the two of them can get into now gets reversed.  Blaine is secure in his relationship, and of being loved, as well as being able to be out on his own, not relying on Kurt entirely, and because of that, he doesn’t get clingy or insecure, which in turn gives Kurt the breathing room he needs, and when Kurt is feeling not closed in, he becomes affectionate and open and will continue to reach for Blaine’s hand, and marriage is a reminder (to both) that they have to keep on working because they’ve made the commitment.  (This was a horribly worded paragraph, sorry)  

But my point is - they are now secure as individuals and secure in their relationship, and while, yes, I needed a few more scenes to flesh out and have the story make full sense, I’m happy to have this last scene that kind of encompasses everything together and puts the nice bow on it.  They are both so, so happy and relaxed and in love in this scene, and it’s amazing because of it.  

And yes - Brittany will probably call them on their anniversary every year (I kinda love the meta of that -- that Klaine and Brittana are always tied together now), but they’ll probably only see each other once every five-ish years or so.  Their lives will go on and they’ll grow up further and away from each other.  But, their love is all tied up together, and it’s a happy moment for both couples.  

So yeah, that’s the wedding episode! It feels... slightly anticlimactic for as big as the series long story was -- but you know, even with all the scenes I’d have wanted in it, I’m not sure if it’d ever had been fully satisfying.   And, you know, it’s true what they say about it being about the journey not just the ending.  But, you know, they still got married, and the story still is something we’re talking about, and I still love that it kind of marries the idea of the fairy tale with a real relationship.   

And, I’m a little sorry this is the end for Brittana, because it does feel, in a lot of ways, like a penultimate episode.  Brittana is now done (which is another reason I think they got the bulk of the episode) but Klaine’s story has room for a little more in the final episodes - and I’m glad they get to have their nice little coda.  

[demyrie]

I'm curious but why did you delete JAM? It was one of my favorite JxD fics and I never got to finish reading it.

ahhhh oh dear, yeah, that happened.

So, for everyone arriving, I wrote a fic called Just Another Mission for the Jak and Daxter game series, and Jak/Daxter pairing. Yes, the green haired elf protag with the fuzzy orange thing, which btw used to be a human and was a human in fic. I think I started it when I was maybe 14 (yikes omg) and a few years ago, I deleted it, and I don’t delete fics.

Rant and personal history ahead, but tldr; i deleted this particular fic because:

1) I became more and more uncomfortable with the way I’d treated certain characters without giving them respect or resolution (throwing around things like domestic abuse while being too young to properly understand What I Was Doing or How to Answer Very Triggered Friends Who Had the Misfortune of Reading This I’m So Goddamn Sorry, as well as falling into that Not Like Other Girls slash fan ditch of treating female characters like shit/obstacles to the main pairing WHICH IS JUST ******) as well as personally uncomfortable portrayals of obsession and taking advantage of people that turn my stomach to this day (see reason 4)

2) i got way in over my head with my own writing/style which was so obtuse and self-indulgent that I felt a great amount of shame over it, including the attention it had gotten, and the way it went to my head and turned me into an egotistic little shit. I was an asshole peacock and I regret it. There was a break where I got waylaid before the final confrontation in the fic (see reason 4, also a very bad time to get held up in any narrative) and when I returned to the story, i nearly cried because it was such a mess and I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. Finishing it was a struggle and I even remember one JnD fan friend being like “hey this chapter seemed really curt??? short?? not like you” and I was like YEAH THATS NOT ME ANYMORE god i hope

3) there was a sort of ... anti-JxD surge in my little pool from people I really respected and it made me think i was doing something wrong even just remembering it, so I cut off that memory.

4) it coincided with two ugly relationships in my life that marred it, and I just wanted it gone for my own mental health.

So anon, I’m very sorry that you never got to finish it. I had good intentions in mind and gave them a happy ending where they realized they loved each other, even if the journey there was difficult. 

It both touched me and broke a piece of my heart when someone came to me years ago and asked me why I had deleted it, saying the story had given them the courage to come out as gay to their family. In that moment, overwhelmed with how ProblematicTM the whole story was, I was really struck with just ... how subjective our world experience is, and how so many things can mean so many different things to every single soul and how terrifyingly VALID peoples experiences are, no matter how they come by them. We’re all so unique and convoluted, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure -- and one man’s trigger is another man’s key to Becoming. But no matter how inspiring, I couldn’t bring myself to repost it. 

Hopefully this will be the only fic i ever delete with relish. Jak and Daxter will always be a good memory for me, regardless. Thanks for the ask, anon.

(even more) personal stuff below the cut. tw for stalking, harassment, manipulation and emotional abuse.

So.

Im a firm believer in stories living beyond their authors (something that JK rowling doesnt seem to understand iykwim). I don’t normally delete past works, because while I wrote them, I also know that they’ve outgrown me as most narratives do: people are absolutely allowed to enjoy what they want to or need to, not just because I think said thing is reflective of my current work or jives with my current stage of life. 

However, JAM was a particular Thing that Had to Go.

The timeline is hella fuzzy to me because I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I was coming out of middle school and struggling with my mental health. On the real life side, I was stuck in a situation with a close friend of mine who was very fixated on us being in a relationship and the pining was loud enough to hear from the other side of the country. Wounded people pleaser that I was, I flipped (exhaustingly) back and forth between “i dont like you like that” and “but I want you to be happy so what if I tried liking you like that?” and there was massive amounts of hidden hurt and resentment and tension and abandonment complex activation and just ... a strangling of anything that made our friendship good for either of us. 

Also she was a she. So. Yannoe, gay is difficult.

This definitely burnt me out on the “best friends pining” trope and is probably legit the ONLY reason I’m not equally in the erasermic and erasermight camp haha. That trope feels claustrophobic and draining to me, so I leave it for others to enjoy.

It also coincided with a married 45yo adult man luring me into a “platonic, ecstatic, boundary-breaking, you-are-my-beautiful-young-muse, words cannot express how much I love you” creative type relationship that inevitably turned possessive, domineering and manipulative. Within the bounds of the Renaissance Faire community, I thought he was a safe person and he was not, and his constant reassurance that I wasn’t like other women my age was absolutely hypnotizing to a undeveloped soul who really, really wanted to be special.

We traded poetry and tarot card readings over email. He bought me manga and shared stories about his time overseas and in the service. He made me props to go with my renaissance faire character and showed me where to find cheap leather so I could piece things together myself.

He also stalked me and owned me for the better part of a year and I only realized it once he started harassing a dear friend of mine overseas, whom I was visiting, about a package that he’d sent, which apparently he’d covered in original poetry to let me know how much he loved me But Not In a Hetero or Sexual Way Bro, so of course he didn’t want it to get lost in the postal system. So what is he going to do? Note my friend twice a day asking if its arrived until she inevitably, tearfully spills that this guy is stressing her out and who is he anyway?

My horrible secret was out, which only sounded horrible when I explained it to someone else. I realized this man was trying to follow me wherever i went and I got so fucking angry that he was messing with my friend that I had to stop it.

(He called me a cunt when I broke it off with him on the phone in the dark on the floor of my bedroom in the middle of the night so my parents wouldn’t hear, then sobbed and said he was sorry. I was so dissociated from the rush of anger and helplessness that it took for me to actually MAKE the call that all I could do was wiggle my foot and watch it in the reflection of the mirror on the back of my door, and think maybe I was a cunt but I wasn’t his cunt anymore. So there. 

Afterward I slammed my forehead into the mirror a few times to make sure I’d actually done it and it wasn’t a dream.)

During all of this, I was writing this stupid fic. I think. Honestly, I don’t fucking know, but I can’t think of it without thinking of him and how i was devoured.

The stress of hiding this “totally wonderful but NORMAL PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WE HAVE!!!!” grooming shit from my parents was gutting me alive, and I was so far gone RE: worthiness/autonomy that I didn’t even consider why I BOTHERED diffusing his petulant accusations over notes on deviantArt again and again as he baited me into shit just to explode over how I didn’t love him and I figured out another way to soothe his engorged and tarry ego without explicitly lying that I loved him too. 

He made me regret my silver tongue and way with words as I used it to defend myself again and again, and crushed my love of writing. I would pace the neighborhood for almost an hour several times a week, claiming I was ‘exercising’ but really trying to understand why i felt so trapped, or where the lines between love and hate lay, or why I wanted to cry all the time, as i low key tried to get hit by a car just to force something to change in my life and jolt me out of his smothering, needy nightmare of constant texting and emails and notes. I couldn’t fucking flinch without him knowing about it, and asking me if I was okay. For this reason, I react very poorly to people fretting over me at length, and loudly. I get angry and feel violated, or just pinned to the floor by someone Performing their love on me with no real regard for my health.

This whole time, I was escaping into fandom. It probably saved my life, in one way or another, because I found friends who supported me and made me laugh in the JnD sphere. Especially the friend whose distress caused me to snap and realize This Couldn’t Continue.

This terrible man was the first one outside of my friend group that I showed my writing to, the first adult as well. It was on the dark side even then, but he said it was wonderful and amazing. He teased me for being stuck up in my authors notes on JAM (one of the reasons I’m just getting over ... talking ...) but said it inspired him to start writing as well. He used that writing to imagine hokey sprawling stories of him being a hot rod racer and me being his sexy girlfriend, Very Totally in Love. Why Couldn’t We have Just Met in a Different Lifetime??? not that its a relevant question for my young 16yo friend lol just something dreamers wonder lol lol here why don’t you take this traditional irish engagement ring aka claddagh i bought for you, lie to your parents and say I bought one for everyone in our renfaire group, and turn it toward your heart, to imply that you’re in love, so that I can keep your heart safe for you until you find a boyfriend?

FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER ok I’m done. Fuck.

JAM was a project of mine that spanned a year or two and is intrinsically tangled in those very bad relationships and very bad lessons. I deleted it because I needed to, for purely personal reasons beyond the fact that it was generally bombastic, over-long, tone-deaf and dealt with very serious issues poorly. Due to these experiences, you won’t catch me in a hot minute writing either best-friends-pining or heavy jealousy/possessiveness fic, but everyone else? Go crazy just tag your shit.

so. anyway. isn’t subjectivity actually terrifying? You never know what something can mean to someone else. So just ask, maybe.

Damn, son. Some fics you just can’t repost.

[grungeandrockoneshots]

Love ur tumblr,it's awesome,congrats!!.Please,could you write an Eddie shot about I'm Eddie's girlfriend. One night I have a nightmare: he falls while he's climbing at some show and he gets hurt badly.I wake up very scared so I beg him doesn't climb that night because I have a bad feeling,but he does it. Nothing bad happens of course,but I get so angry with him.He tries to apologize in a sweet way,you know ;) Thank you!! Btw, English it's not my mothertongue so forgive my mistakes :)

The room was so fullthat no one else would fit in. Porch was just somewhere in the middle of itsusual duration, Mike was rocking his guitar in a breathtaking solo. You stoodat the side of the stage supporting your friends, but mostly your boyfriendEddie, who was just going crazy from all the energy and atmosphere. He wasjumping around and running all over the stage and he obviously wanted to geteverything out of him. You loved watching him perform, but his kind ofself-expression in moments like these often made you worry a lot. His passionfor climbing and jumping into crowds was something you didn’t share with him.Again, you had to watch him trying to get on the top of several speakers. Theroom went dark, the only cone of light was directed at Eddie. The speakers werefew meters high and he was almost there. Two or three little moves. But justwhen you were about to feel joy that he safely reached the top, his handsuddenly slipped and he fell down on his back from an enormous height. A dullhit was pretty much audible and you witnessed it all in an unexpressible shock.Eddie’s paralyzed and motionless body didn’t show any signs of life. Youimmediately started crying and wanted to run to him to help him, but a pair ofsomeone’s arms caught you and refused to let you on stage. He repeated over andover that you couldn’t go there and that there were people who’d help him. Youtotally broke down as you watched more and more people rushing to the stage,taking Eddie away from you…

„Y/N! Y/N, for God’s sake, wake up!“ you heard from adistance, feeling hands on your shoulders. You woke up to Eddie’s worried face.There’s no need to say how hard the wave of relief hit you. Your cheeks werewet and your heart was beating so fast that you thought it would explode soon.You grabbed Eddie’s tshirt and pulled him into the tightest hug you’ve evergiven him. You still couldn’t stop yourself from crying, because the damn dreamscared the shit out of you. „Love, it’s okay. It’s gone. Shhh, it’s okay,“ hecomforted you as he was stroking your back. He held you until you calmed downand then asked what happened.

„I was watching you play and you decided to climb up thehuge speakers you always have on stage and…and fell down. You just lay thereand didn’t move and I wanted to help you so bad, but someone held me didn’t letme go there…oh God, why was it so real? I thought I’d never see you again,Eddie, I seriously thought it was an end…“ salt water filled your eyes again,which made Eddie take your face in his hands and kiss you on the forehead.

„It was just a bad dream, okay? I’m here with you and I’malive. Please, stop crying, Y/N,“ he whispered and wiped the tears off yourcheeks.

„What if it was some kind of warning? I don’t want you to doit. I’m so worried about you all the time. And I don’t wanna wait untilsomething really happens to you,“ your voice was still shaking a bit.

„It’s under my control everytime, Y/N. It’s not as dangerousas it seems, trust me,“ he objected.

„Eddie, you’re the only one I have and you know that Iwouldn’t handle losing you. Promise me you’re not gonna do it at least the nextshow. Please, I don’t ask for much.“ He sighed long, but agreed: „Okay okay, Ipromise. But now you promise me that you won’t have bad dreams tonightanymore.“

„Promise,“ you smiled and cuddled up to him. His arms wereproviding you a feeling of safety and home, so you soon fell asleep withoutbigger problems.

*

It was right before the beginning of today’s show. All theguys were in a great mood and you were supposed to be, too, but somehow youcouldn’t get that dream out of your head. Eddie looked fine, nothing seemed tofrustrate him.

„You’ll be careful, won’t you?“ you were making sure beforehe went up on stage.

„Of course I will, don’t worry,“ he quickly kissed you andthen disappeared in a corridor leading to stage. You sighed and waited forStone’s and Jeff’s girlfriend to go watch your men together from the side of thestage as usual. They kicked off the show with Why Go and Deep, Jeremy and Even Flow followed. People in the crowd were great, you couldhardly see someone who wouldn’t enjoy this night as if it was their last.Usually you’d dance and sing along, however today you still couldn’t help itbut felt something bad in the air. You kept repeating in your head that nothingcan happen, you trusted Eddie and his words. Everything seemed to be fine sofar, but you turned to the girls and started talking to come to other thoughtsanyway. They were great girls and it was always fun to be around them. Finallyyou felt better.

„Hey ladies, do you see that photographer over there? Stonetold me he’s totally head over heelsfor Ed. Look at his face! Y/N, I swear even you don’t look at Ed like this!“You all laughed as you focused on that photographer.

„He looks like he’ll do everything to steal him from me,“you joked.

„Well, I think not only him,“ Jeff’s girlfriend pointed tosome girls in the crowd who were jumping there half naked. „Gosh, he’s crazy!Does he wanna jump again or what?“ You immediately turned your head in Eddie’sdirection. He was already one leg on the speaker, climbing higher and higher.Your stomach gripped tightly as an unexpected wave of fear mixed with angerflew through your body. He made a fuckingpromise.

„No. No, I’m not gonna watch this,“ you told the girls andran to backstage to Eddie’s dressing room where you took your jacket and gotout of the building. You caught a taxi and got back to the hotel room. It washard for you to believe that he really did it. Despite his own words. You tooka quick shower and when you returned to the bedroom, you found out that Eddiehad tried to call you several times, because the phone was full of left voicemessages. You deleted all of them, you already didn’t want to hear a word fromhim today. You slipped under the blanket and tried to fall asleep before hereturns, but it was useless. Your head was so full and didn‘t allow you to cutoff from the reality.

As soon as you heard the opening door, you took a deepbreath. You even wanted to fake the sleep, but before you managed to close youreyes, he already stood in the bedroom. And apparently, angry as well.

„Can you explain to me why didn’t you answer my calls? Doyou even know how worried I was about you? I wanted to cancel the rest of theshow when Mike told me you’d left without any reason!“ he said in heightenedvoice. He literally made you look at him in total disbelief.

„Excuse me, without any reason? You know the reason verywell, Eddie, so stop acting like this! You will be telling me something aboutfear? You? You never fail to amaze me, really. But you know what, I don’t wannahear anything from you, let me sleep.“

„No way, I’m not done yet. Look, Y/N, okay, I admit that youhave a full right to be mad at me, but you should have answered the calls.You know how it’s dangerous outside, people can recognize you and not all ofthem are nice and friendly. You should have waited for me,“ he wildlygesticulated. You sat up on the bed.

„Eddie, but this is not about me at all! I mean, what didyou expect? That I will happily watch you climb almost to the ceiling and jumpinto people who can easily not catch you? That I will just stand there andsupport you in this? I think I told you clearly enough yesterday how importantit is to me that you stop with it. And if I remember well, you promised me.“ Theblame was on his side, so he didn’t have any right to accuse you of anything.

„I know! But as you can see, nothing bad happened and I’mhere. It’s a part of the show! I want to give those people something they won’tever forget, do you understand?“ he continued with his silly arguments.

„Yeah, how nice of you that you care more about other peoplethan me,“ you said. Eddie probably lost his ideas how to reply, so he justuttered: „This isn’t leading to anywhere.“ And then he left the bedroom.

„Idiot,“ you said quietly to yourself as you were layingyour head back on the pillow. Soon you heard the running water form thebathroom and despite your strong wishes you couldn’t fall asleep even thistime. You tensely laid with closed eyes as he returned to the room.Surprisingly, he obviously thought that you were really sleeping, because hissteps and moves were very quiet. He slowly laid next to you under one blanket.First few minutes he kept silent, but you could feel his open eyes.

„Y/N? Are you sleeping?“ he whispered.

„How could I?“ you responded. Then he carefully threw hisarm over you, taking your hand in his. He sticked to your body from behind andkissed your shoulder.

„I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done any of it, I’m such anasshole. You’re the most important person to me in this world, so if you reallywant me to stop with it, I will. I’d rather see disappointment in thousands othereyes than in yours. I love you so much, Y/N,“ he said quietly, causing yourheart melting.

„Why do you always get me so easily, Vedder? I hate you,“you smiled and pulled his hand up to your lips, where you kissed it.

„This doesn’t look like hate,“ he laughed slightly, leaningin for a kiss. You let him play with your lips for a while. „Mmm, and thisdoesn’t look like hate at all,“ he continued kissing you, slowly getting on thetop of you. Your hands disappeared under his tshirt, exploring his muscularbody. His lips landed on your neck and softly sucked the skin. As his handsstrayed under your tshirt as well, you couldn’t stop yourself from breathingloudly. All of this was great for his ears, because he knew he was doing a goodjob on you. Once he rolled your tshirt up and caught one your nipple in hislip, you gasped and tugged his hair a bit. You could see his content face as hestarted going down little by little. And yes, his expression was enough for youto turn you on. You felt his hot breath and wet kisses everywhere on your tummyand later even on your thighs. It took him so long before he finally got whereyou wanted him the most. He skilfully removed your panties and threw them away,while you were eagerly waiting for his next action. He returned to your thighs,paid a little more attention to them and then made his way up. As soon as histongue touched your clit, your grip in his hair tightened. He started off verygently, circling his tongue around and gradually increased the intensity. Hewas tasting you with the tip of his tongue by tesing you in the area of your entranceevery now and then. You were writhing under his touches and because of all the delight.When he’d decided to use a finger to help you come, you were high up in the skybecause of how good it felt. You even had to let go of his hair, because you weresure you’d have tugged them out.

„Fuck, Eddie,“ you moaned, crushing the sheet between your fingersright before you reached your climax. Then Eddie rolled down your tshirt again andmade you lay on his chest. He gave you little kisses in your hair while you werestill catching your breath. You ran your fingers to his long hair and played withthem, because it always calmed you down. „I love you,“ you murmured to his chest.

„I hoped to hear this,“ he smiled, „good night, Y/N.“

-

Hello, firstly, thank you♥ secondly, I really hope that by your “sweet way of apologizing” you meant something smutty and if not, I’m very sorry! And thirdly, this oneshot is the longest I’ve written so far, so I hope you enjoyed it♥

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

STREET SAINTS #3: THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO RON

     This week’s episode of Street Saints™ is brought to you by...me, your Better Days Are A Toenail Away beat reporter. I’m kidding. This episode is about Ron, a man I met several sabbaths ago.      Now, in a recent post about payphones I briefly touched on how people these days are reluctant to let strangers use their mobile phones. I won’t argue with that. I mean, our phones contain our entire lives. But I let Ron use mine. Here’s what happened.      I was walking around aimlessly one Sunday almost two months ago when...well, that’s not exactly true. I had a definite aim in mind. I hadn’t had a cigarette in a few days and was getting desperate. I’d already asked a few people and had been rejected by all of them when I passed a barefoot man sitting on a bench outside the food bank I used to go to.      The man looked like he was having a rough day. Or a rough month. Or year. Or life. The soles of his naked feet were scabbed and black and he was wearing a collared shirt, unbuttoned and open, revealing a scarred and hairy chest. Wearily, he lifted his head as I passed and asked if he could use my phone. He asked with the same defeatist energy I’d been asking for smokes with...that is, expecting to hear a firm “no.” I freely admit that I didn’t want to loan a stranger my phone, what with COVID and germs and all that, but my heart went out to him because he looked like he really needed it, so I handed it over and sat down on the bench beside him.      “God bless you, brother,” he said. “My name’s Ron. I’ll be quick.”      “Hi Ron,” I said. “I don’t suppose you have cigarette by any chance?”               “Nope, but I can get one! Hell, I’ll buy you a whole pack, hell…two packs, for helping me out. I got a friend coming who’s gonna give me a hunnert bucks!”      I nodded, even though I didn’t exactly believe the guy. Not because he seemed like a liar but because broke people always have that one mythical payment they are waiting on, the one that will lift them above their circumstances. I’ve often borrowed money to buy heroin on the strength of some random payment I’m anticipating, money that forever waits just beyond my reach, like the baby on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind. (Aaaaand that simile allows me to continue my tradition of inserting Nirvana album covers into the Street Saints™ series. I am a professional writer. Do not try such similes at home.)

     ^ That baby’s name is Spencer Eldon, btw. Eldon makes his living these days by charging outlets $1000 for interviews. The interviews are pointless, given that Eldon doesn’t remember the Nevermind photo shoot because he was six months old, but unscrupulous or desperate editors continue pay his required fee. I distinctly remember a Rolling Stone feature from 2001 featuring a ten-year old Eldon in which he agreed to a reshoot of the underwater photo, and was quoted by the magazine saying “Nirvana’s okay, but Blink-182 are way better.” 

    Eldon reshot the photo again in 2008, now telling the New York Post that he preferred the Clash to Nirvana. Getting warmer, Eldon.

     Eldon did yet another anniversary reshoot in 2011 in which he said “Every five years or so, somebody’s gonna call me up and ask me about Nevermind…and I’m probably gonna get some money from it.”              I am not the first writer to make this trivial connection, but you might say Eldon’s famous photo is a metaphorical representation of his life. He is constantly swimming toward the next dollar bill on the next fishhook. You might even say that we’re all Spencer Eldon…each of us swimming toward the next paycheque, the next loan, the next stranger’s cigarette. I certainly feel that way sometimes. I definitely felt that way when all my money went to heroin. And even Ron, the barefoot preacher who spoke a few words into my phone then hung up and handed it back to me, probably felt that way too, waiting for his possibly-fictional-but-flush friend.       “He’s on his way,” Ron assured me, sensing my skepticism. “Two minutes or less. He’s driving a silver minivan. Keep an eye out.”      “Right on,” I said. “Thanks. I just need a single smoke, you don’t have to…”      “One!” scoffed Ron. “What’s one gonna do? I’ll get you a couple packs!”       Far be it for me to argue with a religious man, as both a baptized Catholic and penniless individual in need of a nicotine fix. “Cool,” I said, nodding again.       “I’ve been thinking about a woman,” Ron said, squinting at passing cars. “My first girlfriend, to be exact. Her name was Angel. As somebody who believes that the Lord Jesus Christ is my personal Savior, I’ve begun to understand the biblical importance of her name, and to understand that Angel really was an angel and that...that I shouldn’t have let her go.”      He looked at me and I saw with some alarm that he was crying. Then he began to rant about Moses and the burning bush and how he’d been “trying [his] best but sometimes your best isn’t good enough.” He told me he’d quit drugs and alcohol years ago but he still smoked because tobacco is in the bible. He said he was homeless but he’d just that day found a place for October 1st. It would be his first apartment in over a year. He said the Lord wanted him to do good deeds while he waited to move into his new place, his dollar bill on a fishhook.       As a frequent consoler of the downtrodden, I tried to think of something I could say, something that might cheer him up or summarize things, but then a minivan pulled to a stop across the street and a portly fellow disembarked and trudged over to us, smiling.       “Hey!” he hollered at me, still grinning. “Is this guy talking your ear off?”       Not wanting to make fun of my new barefoot friend, I shrugged noncommittally.       “He will if you let him,” the friend said, producing a roll of hundreds from his pocket and handing one to Ron.       Woah, I thought. Ron was telling the truth.       He hadn’t been bullshitting me. He wasn’t swimming toward some irretrievable dollar. He really did have a friend on the way to loan him money.       “Where the hell are your shoes?” the friend asked Ron. Ron shrugged and replied cryptically: “The Lord provides.”       I got up from the bench and moved away so the two friends could converse in private. I wasn’t going to hold Ron to his offer. He seemed to really need the money. But Ron and his friend didn’t talk long, just a few words and a handshake and then Ron disengaged himself and slowly sauntered over to me.      “Okay!” he announced. “Let’s go get those smokes!”       There was a bar nearby I knew about that sold reservation cigarettes for $5.50 a pack. It took us half an hour to walk one block because poor Ron was limping. He absentmindedly held the hundred pinched between two fingers as he walked, and it was flapping in the wind. Watching him, I got the sense that he didn’t really give a shit about money.       At the bar Ron bought four packs with the hundred dollar bill and gave me two of them. Two full packs of smokes. Then he asked for $5 bills in return, which struck me as odd until a few minutes later when I saw why.      On our way back to the food bank Ron told me he was training to become the oldest player to ever make an NHL debut. When you are homeless and marginalized, these kinds of dreams sustain you. They are the necessary fictions that get you through life. I won’t start talking about the dollar bill on the fishhook again, but you get my point. Then he talked about God again and expressed his faith that he was “on the right path for the first time in a long time.”      Back in front of the food bank, Ron, who was now preaching loudly about kindness for one’s fellow man, walked up to every single person in the foodbank line and handed them a $5 bill until he was down to his last $20.      I was gobsmacked. I was fucking amazed. He even tried to give me $5. And although I was totally broke, I didn’t accept the money. I had the cigarettes I’d set out to get. I might be an untrustworthy drug addict but I’m not a greedy prick. But this post isn’t about me. It’s about Ron and his selflessness.      Earlier Ron had said “the Lord will provide,” and although I’ve long been skeptical of religion and the literal truth of the bible, in that moment I could not argue with him. This was the gospel according to Ron. Sometimes you get to grab the fishhook and take your dollar.      It was a moving scene in that foodbank line. Some of the people Ron handed money to cried tears of relief. Others hugged him. All were exceptionally grateful and told him so. He just nodded solemnly and looked at me smugly as if to say see?      In the world of drug users and the downtrodden there are a lot of liars and bullshitters. You hear lots of dubious tales from people with delusions of persecution and/or grandeur. But here was a man who walked it like he talked it. He’d been preaching kindness and care toward one’s fellow humans since I’d spotted him on that bench and here he was handing his own money out to everybody like an unhoused Henry Sugar.      The man was barefoot and his feet hurt and he could have bought himself a pair of sandals at the nearby Dollarama for $3, but instead he gave everything but his last $20 away.       I walked him to the subway, telling him en route how impressed I was, how he “walked the talk.”      “Thank you Danny, I appreciate that,” he said quietly.      He was uncomfortable with my praise. I think he viewed himself an instrument of what he called “God’s light.” What he'd done, that generous display, wasn’t about him. It didn’t even seem uncharacteristic.       Now, I have a lot of atheist friends who would probably scoff at this story, friends who champion God-hating books by guys like Hitchens and Harris and Hedges, friends who delight in making fun of the devoutly religious, but I consider that attitude intellectually lazy. Bible stories are obviously rooted in the unscientific and the anecdotal. That combination is low hanging fruit for today’s well-read, well-learned skeptical individual. But I cannot disparage the actions of Ron that day, nor can I disparage the faith and belief that guides such selfless behavior.      Sensing his discomfort, I shut the fuck up and walked him the rest of the way in silence.      “I have to go now,” Ron said when we got to Spadina and Bloor. “Have a good night.”      “You too Ron.”      And as I watched him walk barefoot into the station, limping his way down the stairs to the subway, I realized I’d been in the company of a saint. 

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4: Spoils of War, A Summary (FULL SPOILERS)

Bronn: Hey Jaime! Why are you so sad-faced? 

Jaime: Olenna was a boss ass bitch and she threw a lot of shade at me. 

Bronn: Cool bro! Now, thanks for the six-figure paycheck, but when can I expect my CASTLE?!!?

Jaime: ... 

Jaime: Your single-minded self-interest is giving me flashbacks to literally every other character on this show beyond, like, Sansa, Jon, and Tyrion. pls stop it now. 

-Meanwhile, in King’s Landing-

Cersei: *plotting* 

-Meanwhile, in Winterfell-

Littlefinger: Hai, I’m your new step-dad! Wait, no- uncle! No, that’s not right- ah! yes, I’m your sister’s new boyfriend! I will take very good care of you. 

Bran: *unimpressed* 

Littlefinger: ... dammit, apparently all little boys are not as manipulable as Robin. Well, do you want this dagger that almost killed you? 

Bran: *mildly interested* 

Littlefinger: Ah! Deadly weapons! A perfect segue to your tragic backstory- 

Bran: CHAOS IS A LADDER. 

Bran: *goes back to looking bored and done with everything* 

Littlefinger: *thinking* *oh shit you know about that fuuuuuuccccckkkkkk* 

Littlefinger: ... Gotta go! 

Meera: Bran, my brother died for you! Hodor died for you! Summer died for you! 

Bran: I used to have a crush on you, but then I accidentally downloaded the ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET into my brain and I have for gotten how to function as a human being. BAI! 

Meera: ... I hate you so much. 

Bran: You’re entitled to that. 

Arya: *IS BACK, MOTHER FUCKERZ!!!!!!* 

Guards: *the most astoundingly noob-ish noobs to ever noob* 

Arya: COME AND FIND ME, MOTHER FUCKERZ. ARYA STARK HAS JUST INITIATED A GREAT AND MIGHTY GAME OF HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK. HAHAHAHA! YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME NOW! 

Sansa: Oh! I know exactly where she is! 

Arya: *standing in front of Sean Bean’s grave and I’m not crying, YOU’RE CRYING* 

Sansa and Arya: *hugs* 

Arya: Yo, gurl, it true you murdered Joff the Jerk? 

Sansa: No, but I did feed my husband who repeatedly raped me to his own dogs. 

Arya: Nice. 

Arya: Oh, btw, I’m an assassin now. 

Sansa: ... 

Sansa: *nervous laughter* 

Arya: *nervous laughter* 

Sansa: Bran’s home. 

Arya: BABY BRO IS HOME!!!!! 

Sansa: *look* 

Arya: ... shit, what happened to Bran?!?! 

Bran: *became a tree wizard, dummy, and now he knows everything that ever happened to everyone everywhere and it kind of broke his mind*

Bran: Hello, older, but much tinier than me, sister. It is a goodly thing to see you home once more.

Bran: Though I kinda thought you’d go south so you could murder Cersei. 

Sansa: *thinking* *oh shit all of my siblings went absolutely batshit crazy* 

Bran: WOULD YOU LIKE THIS FANCY-ASS DAGGER, TINY SISTER. 

Arya: Um. Sure? Why? 

Bran: *whispering* it’ll be important for the plot later on shhhhh, just take the knife. 

Arya: ... Okaaaayyyyy. Now I understand what Sansa meant. 

-Meanwhile, there’s fresh hot goss at Dragonstone High!- 

Dany: Sooo... 

Missandei: ... Grey Worm and I had sex. 

Dany: I knew it! I call a sleep over at my place tonight! I want ALL the details, girl! We will braid each other’s hair and we’ll do each other’s nails, and Varys can come over and we can do his nails too!!!!  

Jon: ahem 

Missandei: *looks at Dany* 

Dany: ... shut the fuck up Missandei. 

Jon: I cAn ShOw yOu ThE wOOOOOOOOrLd!!!!!! 

Missandei and Dany: It’s so pretty! 

Jon: *smug* 

Jon: Dany, come over here. 

Jon: *proceeds to seduce Dany using only his Soft Eyes (as well as drawings which he may or may not have totally done himself)* 

Dany: *proceeds to be thoroughly seduced* Okay, I believe you. 

Dany: BUT 

Dany: I still need you to bend the knee before we can have sex. 

Jon: I hate you so much. 

Dany: JUST BEND THE KNEE ALREADY. YOUR LORDS WILL LISTEN! YOU’RE A KING! THEY WILL DO WHAT YOU TELL THEM, EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T WANT YOU TO DO THAT! 

Jon: The last time I did something like that, I was stabbed in the heart by a twelve year old. I think I’ll pass. 

Tyrion: Oh, by the way, something more important than your love lives is going on right now. 

Dany: What now?! 

Tyrion: I fucked up. 

Dany: *proceeds to blame Tyrion for not being a great general when literally everything he’s done in this series was mostly a failure that worked out okay in the end*

Dany: I don’t trust any of you! 

Dany: Jon! You’re my boyfriend! Give me advice! 

Jon: First of all, I’m not your boyfriend, and second of all *proceeds to give an inspiring speech about not murdering civilians or burning castles* 

-Meahwhile, Sansa still needs to see just how far this shit has gone- 

Brienn: *whooping Pod’s ass* 

Arya: noob 

Arya: Brienne! You’re a badass! Let me fight against you! 

Brienne: ... Okay, kiddo. 

Arya: *is tiny* 

Arya: *pulls out an even tinier sword* 

Brienne: I’ll go easy on you. 

Arya: *mocking smile* 

Arya: *proceeds to whoop Brienne’s ass* 

Sansa: ... *thinking* *oh shit she wasn’t lying about being an assassin* 

Arya: *completes whooping Brienne’s ass* 

Arya: *bows* 

Sansa: Okay that’s it, Jon’s hearing about this, he needs to know that the kids went batshit insane while we were away. 

Littlefinger: *bows back to Arya* 

Arya: *takes notice of Littlefinger* 

Arya: *KILL BILL SIRENS* 

-Meanwhile, there is yet more fresh goss in the hallways of Dragonstone High- 

Davos: Sooo...

Jon: Sooo? 

Davos: You and Dany? I’ve seen you checking her out. 

Jon: *deliberately ignoring this comment* 

Davos: Hi Missandei! 

Missandei: Hello! Would you like to become both depressed and inspired? 

Missandei: *depresses Jon, cue brooding sad-face* 

Missandei: *is inspirational* 

Jon: ... Yeah, Dany’s cool and all, but that’s a Greyjoy ship. 

Theon: Guys! Guys! I have news! 

Jon: *apparates into view* 

Theon: oh. 

Theon: fuck. 

Theon: Hey Jon! How’s Sansa and the kids? 

Jon: *is an overprotective big brother and is having none of this* 

Theon: ... That went a lot better than it could have. 

Theon: I wanna talk to Dany. 

Jon: Too late, she just went to drop off Drogon at the first day of kindergarten. 

-Meanwhile, shit is getting real like three miles from King’s Landing- 

Shit: *goes down for like twenty minutes so i’m skipping most of it, but it did include Dany both listening to Jon’s advice (going after soldiers, not civilians) and also roasting a fuckton of grain, which could have been useful but no and also shit with a dragon and also Bronn and some character developement but we don’t have time for that so!* 

Jaime: *sees that everything’s on fire* 

Jaime: *has flashbacks and PTSD big time* 

Dany: *open to attack* 

Jaime: *charges because he’s a hot-headed idiot who gets shit done with a metric fuckton of PTSD* 

Tyrion: WhAt ThE aCtUaL fUcK aRe YoU dOiNg?! 

Jaime: *about to kill Dany* 

Drogon: NOPE 

Jaime: oh shit 

Bronn: *saves the day! whoopee!* 

Jaime: *probably just drowned*

Me: ... don’t you dare kill Jaime.

[violetlunette]

I Hate Jisoo

Before anyone reads this I am issuing a TRIGGER WARNING.

Jisoo’s Route in “Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You” features stalking, drugging, kidnapping and verbal and emotional abuse, manipulation, even physical abuse, and I will be discussing all them here. If you have had the misfortune of experiencing any of these or don’t want to think about these things, I suggest you don’t read this.

Heads up, this is a straight up rant about the character Jisoo from “Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You.” I will not be saying many pleasant things about him. If you like this character and dislike people saying mean things about him, then I wouldn't read this. While I will do my best to make this rant presentable and organized there may be a few grammar mistakes and repeated topics. I used the Heming App to try and curb these issues, but keep that in mind.

Oh, and needless to say; Spoilers for Jisoo’s Route in “Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You”

With all that said, on to the rant;

Long story short he’s a jealous yandere and thus carries all the red flags the trope carries.

The warning signs start when Jisoo first becomes a human where when Heejung first meets him he is on top of her. Jisoo is a stranger here who is on top of her and pressed close enough that she can hear his heart beat. She orders him to get off her and struggles to throw him. Instead of compiling with her wishes he pins her down, because yeah! That’ll help with her worries, asshole.

To be fair there is a small argument that he’s worried she’ll hurt herself (or him) and he wants to explain everything. Fine. I’ll buy this one. Yet, this is the first example of a reoccurring problem in the route. Jisoo will almost always use his physical strength to try to dominate Heejung. I will get more into that later.

Even before they start dating Jisoo is always accusing Heejung of having a boyfriend. The reason for this is because Jisoo smells her male friend Haejee on her. He then accuses her of cheating on him. There’s only one problem with that—THEY ARE NOT DATING. Right now he is just a free loading cat, not her boyfriend yet he’s trying to make her feel bad and claim her as his own.

The signs go from warning to big red flags when Heejung is crying. She’s crying because she’s bemoaning the fact that she and her mother aren’t close anymore. This is important. Jisoo comes in uninvited and against her wishes, demanding he tell him what she’s crying about. When she tells him that she doesn’t want to talk about it Jisoo grabs her wrist and holds it above her head. Then with a look of fury he accuses her of crying over a boy!

Her arm is hurting, again she says it in the text, and she tries to pull away, but can’t. She begs him to let her go because, again, he’s hurting her! She begs him a total of four times in this one scene. Jisoo is terrifying Heejung and he is hurting her right now. She fights to get him off her, yet he refuses to release her. Instead he accuses her of lying to him about having a boyfriend. Even as she is crying and tears are falling down her face he doesn’t let go. When finally decides to, he spends his time making her feel bad for the boyfriend she DOES NOT HAVE. He then has the gall to accuse her of toying with his feelings and lying to him. However, there was nothing to suggest she was doing anything of the sort. All Heejung did was cry alone in her room after awaking from a nightmare. Jisoo just barged in and assumed that Heejung was crying over a guy. He didn’t even pause to consider it was something else. There was no justification for him to yell at her, to grab her, and to hurt her, even if they were going out, which they aren’t.

When she tells him she wasn’t crying over a guy he apologizes for jumping to conclusions. He doesn't even say sorry for making her cry or HURTING her. A few moments later when Heejung refuses to tell him what she was crying about he says that he’ll MAKE her tell him soon. Asshole, if she doesn’t want to tell you then it is none of your business!

Then when it seems like he’s going to be sweet, he tells her, “Don’t you dare think about other guys.”

There are SO many things wrong with this one scene alone. First is how he forces himself into Heejung’s room without permission. Heejung already expressed concern about being the only girl among four boys to him and the other. Jisoo should have known better than to barge in. Knock first and wait for consent to enter, asshole.

Also, when most people see someone crying they try to offer comfort. They do this by sitting with them, telling them that they’re there to listen, and offering a friendly hug. Jisoo? Jisoo refuses to respect Heejung's wishes and resorts to violence to try and force her, even as she is crying! When she refuses to give in he accuses her of thinking of a boy and of cheating. A) She wasn’t. She was crying about her mother. B) So what if was? They’re HER tears, she’ll use them how ever she wants to. C) THEY ARE NOT DATING. Yet he is already acting like an abusive boyfriend. Fuck him! Everything about this “romantic” scene disgusts me.

In the next “romance” scene, Heejung is talking to Haejee in front of her cram school. Jisoo storms up to them and starts making all sorts of accusations. He admits he was following her. Heejung explains that Haejee is a friend, but he doesn’t believe her. He states that he always smells him on her clothes. Jisoo grabs her again and yanks her forward, almost making her fall. He then drags her away despite her objections and refuses to let her go because she might go back to her friend. He admits he likes her and because of that he tells her she can’t meet with other guys. Then when Heejung doesn’t reply right away he tells her that he’ll MAKE her like him. MAKE her.

Wow, I hate you. Again, Heejung has every right to hang out with her friends whatever gender they may be, so fuck you Jisoo. Liking a girl doesn’t mean she has to cut the whole male race from her life. Jisoo doesn’t even cares if Heejung feels the same about him. He states up front that it ‘doesn’t matter’ and he’ll make her like him. Heejung is missing all the red warning signs here. Even after their first kiss where he tells her, “I’m not going to let you go now even if you want me too.”

Later there’s a scene where Heejung decides to go out with Haejee to eat. (Good for her not letting Jisoo bully her out of spending time with her friends.) As they are about to order though Jisoo shows up and smashes a window with his fist. He then comes in and threatens Heejae with violence, stating that if he smells him on her one more time he’ll pound him. He then grabs her AGAIN and drags her away.

Now there are some out there who will say this looks bad as the scene could look like a date from the out side. I will even admit that Heejung should have called or something. BUT Heejung has every right to go out with friends if she wants to, even if they’re male. And to anyone saying that she shouldn’t have gone out with a boy knowing the Jisoo is a jealous SOB, I say fuck that! People should control their jealousy and not use it as an excuse to hurt others.

Jisoo blames the situation on her because Heejung didn’t make it clear to Haejee that she wasn’t interested in him. Jackass, the only reason their was a “scene” at all is because you couldn’t control your jealous ass. Jisoo was the one who had broke a restaurant window and then threaten to beat up an innocent man for no reason. Yet he tries to blame Heejung? Jisoo, I invite you to go fuck yourself on a cactus.

Smaller things include Jisoo admitting that he's been investigating Heejae and following him. He justifies this as Heejung spending too much time outside, that this is all for her sake. On a date he tells Heejung not to wear a skirt without him around. His justification? It's a guy thing. (Aka, he's jealous.) During a talking scene he tries to sign her name to a marriage certificate without her approval. He's already trying to make her his without her consent.

Oh, and all of this stuff is on the “good” route, towards the “happy” ending. I haven’t even gotten to the bad ending yet.

I would like to warn everyone again about the Trigger warning. From here on there is not only stalking on Christain Grey level, but mentions of drugging and kidnapping as well. Please proceed with caution;

Every thing about the bad route goes pass bad to disturbing. Even small scenes has Jisoo acting passive aggressive and mean towards Heejung.

One of the early scenes has Heejung talking to Jihae. Jisoo sees this and grabs her hard enough to make her scream in pain and drags her to her room (thanks for the help Jihae btw!). There he rips the gift Jihae gave her as thanks for caring for them all from her hair. Jisoo then insults Heejung before tossing it to the floor. He keeps snarling at her when she goes to retrieve it and insulting her. What follows is the best scene in the romance where she slaps him! YES! Way to go girl!

Instead of getting the hint to curb his attitude and jealousy Jisoo tells her that he will never let anyone take her away from him. The next minute he is pinning her to the bed and forcing a kiss on her. One hand is on her wrist, squeezing it till it hurts and the other is on her neck. She has to shove him away and is terrified afterwards (rightfully so!). This is the ONE scene where BOTH acknowledges that what he did was wrong. Jisoo apologizes to her many times and Heejung stands up for herself. She tells him that if he acts like that again, she’s kicking him out. (YES. Kick him out, kick him out!)

All this is later forgotten though as later Jisoo humiliate Heejung in the park, in front of her friend. He says all the red flag warning like, “Why are you always trying to get away?!” And I’m over here thinking, “because you’re creepy asshole who should be in jail!”

Another scene has her bumps into Jihae and they walk in together. Of course this makes Jisoo all jealous. Heejung goes to her room as she doesn’t want to deal with him, but guess what? He follows her. He follows her to tell her not to be nice to him if she’s nice to other guys. Because being nice to others = cheating for him. And I agree; Heejung should stop being nice to Jisoo and tell him to stay the fuck away from her and her life. Bastard, I played the other routes, I KNOW she can do better, even with Haejee. But no. Instead the poor fool confesses she likes him. Even after this though Heejung admits that Jisoo just wanted to owns her. Perfect guy to start a relationship with.

After she confesses Jisoo monitors her all the time. He doesn’t even want her to go to cram school because he thinks she’s meeting guys. Every other scene he is always telling her not to betray him even though she never has. He convinces Heejung to give up on going to cram school and art class. He then makes a comment that he wishes he was the only man in the world so she couldn’t look at anyone else. He then states all men should just drop dead and goes into a mania about how they’re trying to take her away. This is where Heejung should have gotten the hint and ran away, but didn't.

Jisoo stalks her even when she’s home. Heejung could go to a room where he isn’t and he’ll show up, stating, “did you think I wouldn’t find you? If you continue to avoid me, I don’t know what I’ll do. So don’t do any thing funny.” HE THREATENS HER. This is an actual threat! Even when he’s not home he’ll show up out of no where. (No, literally! Right out of no where!) Jisoo tells Heejung to stay in her room and not to come out. He won't even let her wander around her own apartment because she might bump into the other boys.

Finally we get the horrible, horrible ending. Here it ends with Jisoo DRUGGING HER DAILY and SMASHING HER PHONE. The last scene we see is of his slasher smile.

And how do you get this bad route you may wonder? By getting one heart with another boy. Jisoo starts acting aggressive and possessive of Heejung after she gets ONE heart with another boy.

I actually like Heejung in the beginning of the bad ending as she was standing up for herself. She was always telling Jisoo that the shit he was pulling WASN’T OKAY. She recognized that he's obsessed with her and that wasn’t a good thing. All that goes out the door when she still gives into him despite taking notice of the warning signs.

Throughout Jisoo entire romance, good and bad route, he uses his strength to dominate her. He’s always grabbing her wrist; I counted, it was at least 5 times on a good route, 7 times total! And then there was once when he grabbed her shoulder. Heejung states many times that Jisoo scares her with good reason; he's a crazy stalker!

He distrusts Heejung even though she’s given him no reason to; Jisoo is always asking her, “Are you dating? Who is that guy? Why are you with him? Are you sure you’re not dating?” All before they even get together. He acts as if he’s entitled to her even though that is soooooo NOT the case!

If you like him, that's fine, but as for me? I'd rather he stay away from me.

[ch-hyngwn]

[MONSTA X IN NYC]

here’s my experience at the concert fyi it’s extremely long, sorry >.<

i don’t think i’m gonna go into depth of the setlist and all that cause you’ll find them on youtube, i did record some videos of my own but i haven’t put them on the laptop yet and i’m just generally that lazy lol.

i had P1 tickets so i was in the pit and got the hi touch and photo op experience. first of all, okay i’m 4′10 and so many fans were so tall??? like how? so i didn’t bother with being close to the stage since i didn’t want to get shoved and strain my neck while looking at the stage, so i decided to be in the back of the pit, which was fine. the concert didn’t start til about 8:45, there was a medical issue and they didn’t give any information about it (but i heard a fan got hurt outside while coming in :( hope they’re alright) so staff put a hold on the other fans from coming in for the that fan’s safety (i’m assuming).

it was so funny at one point while waiting for the concert to start/venue to fill up, there were staff coming from backstage still setting things up and fans starting screeeeeeeaaammingg like it was one of the members but nah it was just staff LOL (not gonna lie i did too only because why not, get that shit staff man). so once venue starting filling up, and when the time came the lights just goes out and the vcr recording starts playing and everyone starts losing their shit. then you see the members walking onto the stage and i’m like :O (they are so beautiful like wow words cannot describe)

they go right into beautiful and shit is super hype (remember i’m in the back of the pit, it’s super roomy, i was walking around) so i wanted to get a closer view because like once they started performing freaking phones are out!!! like so many!!!!!!! and it blocked the view for a lot of people :/ so i got a little closer where my cousin was (lucky her, she’s taller) and i guess someone got so excited that they dropped? spilled their smoothie? chocolate milkshake? i don’t know but it splattered all over the floor, i thought it was vomit until i seen the cup, pretty gross and you weren’t even suppose to bring in food or drinks (side eyeing you fan).

so once they performed some songs, they get to the talk/ment and sometimes it was hard to hear what they were saying because fans were still screaming, even when the translator was too but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shownu went “hello ladies and gentlemen, i’m shownu!” SO CUTE I MELTED, everyone else introduced themselves normally, except fucking wonho he took his chance to start stripping and shit but whats new and of course!! they mentioned hyungwon :’(((( and how regretful it was that he wasn’t there :’(((

all the stages were so good, all six of the members gave it 100 and everything was spot on, even though i was totally bummed hyungwon couldn’t make it (but health comes first guys) they made sure that nothing lacks or was off. i brought my boyfriend along and he’s not a fan (now he is, aayyeee) and went “if i hadn’t of known hyungwon was in the group (cause he’s my bias and of course he’s gonna know who hyungwon is) i would’ve thought it was just six of them. broken heart totally broke my heart though! i was on the verge of crying when hyungwon’s part came up and they left that space for him and minhyuk made a hand motion to where he was suppose to be and the little spark effect came in that blank spot and i was so TT-TT

after they performed no exit they exited the stage (har har) and the venue was pitch dark, the only things that lit up was the monbongs and we all started chanting “monsta x” we actually chanted that twice and then after that the whole venue start chanting “hyungwon” it was so beautiful i was in tears, like yaaasss my boy, we miss and love you so much. they come back up on stage and did their closing speech and shownu spoke some cute english again and said he was “touch-ED” LOL he’s so flipping cute. and they went on and performed last page and it was bittersweet and beautiful with all the confetti falling.

so skipping to the hi touch, it went by SO FAST first was jooheon, he’s so unbelievably handsome with his dimples and all that ugh, then minhyuk the freaking sun, then shownu HIS EYE SMILE, then changkyun so adorableee, then wonho HE GOT SO DAMN BEEFY LIKE HOT DAMN, and kihyun was last and he had the tightest and longest grip. i made eye contact with all of them and i didn’t really know what to say to them as i went through so i just said their names? lol i don’t know i feel stupid now thinking about it but oh well. all i remember was that jooheon, minhyuk, changkyun, wonho, and kihyun said hi back but shownu was the only one to stay quiet and just smiled lol.

SO for the photo op, i was the first one in line for my group to stand in the photo, there was 20 per photo (i’m gonna assume because of the delay) and the staff guy that was standing next to me goes “so who are you gonna stand next to?” and i was like “WHAT I GET TO CHOOSE?!” and he’s all “i don’t see why not you’re the first one” and so i turned around to my cousin and boyfriend and made a last minute decision and was all “JOOHEON!! I’M STANDING NEXT TO HIM”. (they’re still in the same order as the hi touch btw) and so i’m walking down and the other staff member is like “c’mon let’s keep it moving” and i looked at him and asked “i have to walk all the way down????” and he said “yup please keep going” and so i looked over to jooheon and pouted. JOOHEON AND MINHYUK POUTED BACK AT ME LOL but it was no big deal i didn’t really get a good glimpse of shownu or changkyun at that point but then here’s wonho and he grabs my hand and says “hiiiiiiiii” in a very deep voice LIKE WYD and you got kihyun over there at the end telling me “c’mon!” and motioned me down next to him.

y’all they’re standing on this platform, so they’re higher than they should be, i’m 4′10 and these other fans are just so tall so i asked the staff lady if i could stand on the platform too since i’m short and she hesitated for a moment and it looked like she was going to say yes but ended up saying no, guess she didn’t want to bend the rules for me. so it’s getting full from the other fans and i remember saying “i’m gonna get blocked” and kihyun did this hand gesture for me to get onto the platform next to him and i was thinking ummmm okay sure why not. and come to find out he had hovered his arm around me for quite some time because my boyfriend thought he had his arm wrapped around my shoulder but i said nah he was hovering cause i didn’t feel any physical touching lmfao. so i get up there and we all pose and the photo is done. the members are saying their thank you’s and goodbye’s to the fans and i turn to kihyun, he’s literally only a couple of inches away from me and he takes my hands and like we’re HOLDING HANDS and i started talking to him i told him thank you for coming, i hope you can come back again, and bring hyungwon next time please. you know just basic english on something he would understand and the whole time we had eye contact and he was smiling and nodding and saying yeah. and when i brought up hyungwon he made this very sad/worried face and nodded and said yeah, okay. at one point he let go one of his hands and notice my cousin next to me and shook her hand with that one LOL but omg i don’t know how i did it but yeah i fucking spoke to kihyun and we had the longest eye contact and held hands throughout the entire thing while a staff memeber was telling me to get off the platform and i was just so into kihyun i didn’t hear any of it until my boyfriend told me LOL.

all i have to say is the members are all so sweet and their hands! their hands are so soft! going to this concert literally revived my love for them and yeah i know it’s sad to say but i’ve just had a lot going on and this concert literally help with destressing and it was such a great experience.

[ps] i have footage and still debating if i wanna upload that but i seen so many fancams already :T