#the guy in love death and cordona

[lesbonoi]

four count em FOUR guys fall to their deaths in front of sherlock. two are suicides. the first three happen in ch one and then theres rochester at the end of the awakened. what does it all mean.

[onceinawhilemoon]

Absolutely loved reading these. One of the things I love most about CO is how I think it managed to touch something in all of us. I hope you guys don't mind me dropping my (many) pennies:

“I had to see with my own adult eyes that the place of my childhood had never been what I had known. It felt on one hand familiar and on one hand foreign.”

This is worded so beautifully. I totally get it, and it reminded me of something Sherlock said:

“It feels... wrong. Sad. Like they are the memories of another man.”

I think he's definitely feeling that dissonance here; what he remembers as a child clashing with what he's experiencing now as an adult, particularly about his mother–“Home sweet home” quickly turning into a place of gloom and uncertainty.

“I guess it’s easier to romanticise and try to find your way into your old life again when you aren’t happy with your current one?” & “Even if Sherlock felt a dissonance, Jon would have made it disappear by making him recall their sweetest, most innocent moments there.”

I think it's definitely a bit of both. It's Jon helping him see things through rose-tinted glasses and also the freedom and independence he felt in Cordona, which he craved and missed in London while being under Mycroft's wing. Mycroft tried to offer stability, but Sherlock was at an age where stability wasn't enough–he needed to get away. He needed stimulus, and adventure, and a change of scenery. I'm a total sucker for the theme of autonomy vs. authority that Frogwares touched on in their dynamic, especially in the way they both claimed the manor as “my house,” but I'll pull the brakes right here to avoid drifting into another ramble. But, I imagine the idea of claiming a space uniquely his, especially one abandoned and left in the past by Mycroft, where he can be himself and do whatever he wants without his older brother's expectations weighing on him, is very compelling. Which is why he gets so annoyed whenever Mycroft intervenes in his affairs in Cordona, or when he even follows him to the manor–Sherlock literally sees it as Mycroft “intruding” on his space.

And I like this, as heartbreaking as it is–this idea that despite Sherlock leaving for London willingly in the other endings because there was nothing left for him in Cordona anymore, despite everything Mycroft did to try and make London a safe and supportive environment to help him overcome his trauma, Sherlock’s heart still remained in Cordona, the place that both embraced and scarred him. And home is where the heart is, right?

But, I also think that after he left, that spark and affinity he felt towards the island diminished, because only a few years later in TA, he says his heart will always yearn for London, though New Orleans reminds him of Cordona in a nice way, implying all the other ways in which he remembers it that are… not so nice. (and also iirc Watson asks him if he ever plans on returning, and Sherlock says he isn't sure…)

Growing up sure works in interesting ways–how memories and feelings for certain places shift with time. And while Sherlock was technically already an adult in CO, I also always interpreted losing Jon to be another part of “growing up” for him. I don't know how to explain it properly, but it felt like Sherlock was stuck somewhere in time before the trauma, and as soon as he remembered it, time started flowing for him again–but too quickly, so he didn't even get the chance to process it all, or properly say goodbye to Cordona and Jon.

As for whether he actually intended to settle down there–if you asked me a few days ago I would have said Sherlock was doing all of this (repurchasing furniture, renovating/decorating, etc.) to savor his fleeting time in Cordona until he solved the mystery of his mother's death. It started as a short getaway for much-needed fresh air and closure, but then Things and Stuff and Happenings took place, so making his space feel homey and welcoming wasn't only to jog his memory, but also to offer some comfort against all this uncertainty. But this line in this ending totally convinced me that he did at least consider living there at some point–if not indefinitely, then at least for a little while longer, and if not for anything else, then just to spite Mycroft lmao. But now that he's left, I don't think he wants to go back, at least not without Jon.

Ever since he was a child, Cordona has always been a fucked up place (see: Matthias, Toby, Ector Jacobson, etc.), and now as an adult, memories like these grow even darker in one's mind. It was Jon who gave it that sparkly sense of wondrous and innocent fun, always interjecting with, “Let's have a pillow fight!” and “Let's build wigwams!” and “Let's take a photograph!” and “Let me draw you a picture!” to offset the dark and fucked up realities Sherlock was facing about Cordona and its people. He may sometimes think of that place as home, and it does hold some of his happiest memories, but I think, without Jon, it's just another place of murder, scandal, prejudice, injustice, and trauma for him. Not saying London is any better, but at least in London, he's got Watson.

And, as cliché as it sounds, maybe, after all, home for him was never about the where, but the who.

One final thing:

“You can even get bee hives which aren’t a small commitment.”

I can't tell you how quickly I shot up from bed screaming OH MY GOD THE BEES. SHERLOCK LEFT THE BEES!!!!!! I totally forgot you can put a goddamn apiary in your garden svdgebsjwdghhgdhbdbsbsb

so, uh... This absolutely did not shatter me whatsoever

"... I was exlied from Cordona. With no means, no home, and no purpose, I returned to London."

Sherlock considers Cordona to be his home. not London.

[butindeed]

Nothing and nobody (Liam x Riley)

Hi guys! Just in case you didn’t know, this is part of a nameless Riley x Drake series. You can read the previous parts HERE.

Tags: @decisso @lazychic28 @drakelover78 @captainkingliam @boneandfur @chantelle-x0x

Summary:  Liam has a romantic evening prepared for him and Riley. What can go wrong?

———————————————————————————————————–

No goodbyes - Dua Lipa ________________________________________________________________

After all that had happened to her in the past few days ending with Trent’s death, Liam thought Riley could use a nice day out. 

They were strolling around NYC, hand in hand, making small chat, just enjoying eachother’s company.

He was born the spare, he wasn’t supposed to be King, he wasn’t supposed to choose a Queen to rule by his side. All his life he thought he’d marry out of love, but then Leo abdicated, Liam was forced into picking a wife out of many noble women he barely knew, and the two women he might have been feeling something for were suddenly out of the running, leaving him with his brother’s ex.

He was supposed to be the sound one, the reliable one, so he went for it, he pretended to love someone he could barely stand.

Before the coronation happened, he was sure he loved Riley, but after it, when she’d returned, something had changed, she wasn’t the same incredible newyorker that was by his side the whole time. She had seeked comfort in Drake’s arms, in the Beaumonts, in Hana... and he was now King, full of Royal duties he could not postpone. This time it was another woman who had slowly taken Riley’s place.

When the opportunity to break things off with Madeleine came up, he didn’t think it twice. Eventhough he felt horrible for making her go through a failed engagement twice, he owed it to himself, he didn’t love Madeleine.

But who did he love? He eyeballed Riley who was smiling sweetly, deep lost in thought. Riley...

Riley was intelligent, driven, assertive, diplomatic, sexy, beautiful. She was like fresh air, as Drake would say. Liam cared deeply for her, he could picture her by his side, having a family, ruling the country. Now, was it love? Did he loved her? Did he really know her? 

This other woman, on the other hand, was his childhood sweetheart, he knew she loved him, he felt for her too, maybe more than he was willing to admit. But his father had advised against her, fearing her temper would do too much damage to their country. Not to speak about her family history, it was too much at stake, and he knew it. 

Liam hoped revisiting the places where they’d first met would help him clear his mind, he had asked his father and Regina for advice and they had made themselves very clear: If Madeleine wasn’t to be Queen, Riley was the most suitable option, and it didn’t bothered him. 

By the time they arrived at the Statue of Liberty, the daylight had already faded as did Liam’s doubts; he had a pretty clear idea of what kind of future he wanted.

-Riley - he started with a smile- Do you remember the coronation night?

-How could I forget - she sighed with a somber look

-I was going to propose to you that night, in front of the entire court - He stoped trying unsuccessfully to read her eyes - but maybe it was better this way - he smiled - as now you’re free of that conspiracy, free of Trent’s shadow, and we’re back where it all started... A full circle.

Liam put his hand in his pants’ pocket, taking a small velvet box.

“It has been a true honour to witness your strength in the face of every challenge you have overcome. It’s a strength that gives me courage. I know that I’ll be a better man by having you by my side. All I want in this world is to dedicate my life to being the best man and king that I can be... for you...   

-Riley, Lady Riley Hopkins - he kneeled, gazing at her with determination and caring, reaching for her hand, feeling his chest closing with anxiety - Queen of my heart... - He inhaled deeply as he opened the box revealing the most beautiful ring Riley had ever seen.

-Liam - Riley whispered 

-Will you marry me? - he grasping her hand, her suddenly cold sweaty hand.

-Liam... - Tears were building up in her eyes - Liam I... I can’t... I... I’m in love with someone else - Riley spluttered as the tears streamed down her face.

No, not this, please God, please tell me I’ve heard it wrong...

-What? - He took a step back, rifting space betweem them, he couldn’t touch her anymore, her skin was like lava to him, hot, painful lava.

-I came here for you, but.... but I’ve found someone else along the way. I... I’m in love with...

Did she say love? Don’t say it, please don’t say his name.

-I’m in love with Drake.

Fuck, FUCK, damned Drake! He knew he had feelings for Riley, but now Riley liked him too? Nae loved him, she said she LOVED him. Fuck them, for Christ’s sake, fuck them both! -He wanted to yell, to scream, to punch everything that crossed his way. However, he wore his best poker face

-I know it’s a lot to take in, he’s your best friend...

-Exactly, he’s my best friend - my best fucking friend, my best fucking friend that went behind my fucking back and fucked my fucking Queen... Wait, she’s not my Queen... they went behind my back, yes, when Riley was supposed to be here for me, yes, but maybe, maybe this is just perfect, maybe now I can be with the woman I truly love, maybe I can tell her how I feel, maybe father will finally accept her...

-I... I won’t lie and say this is easy for me to hear, but... How can I be anything but happy for him? And for you.

-I don’t know what will happen between me and Drake, but... I owe it to myself to find out.

-Does that mean you intend to stay in Cordonia?

- If I can... I mean, Cordona is my home now.

-Riley, regardless of our relationship, I care deeply about you, and I believe your presence and influence at court are good for Cordonia. I’d never punish you for not loving me. I can make the arrangements for you to become a dutchess... We’ll make the announcement at the Homecoming Ball.

-Wow, Liam, thank you - she said throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. He returned the embrace inhalling deeply her parfum. - But... What about you? What will you do without a fianceé?

-Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, though there’s no legal precedent... but I’ll be fine!

-I hope you’re not pulling a Ross here - she giggled

-A what...?

-Friends?

-Surely, I wouldn’t want it any other way - he solemnly said as she grinned, and once again he felt he was missing something. - Now if you don’t mind, I need some time alone - he kissed her knuckles, turned around and started walking. 

He knew perfectly where he was going, and this time nothing and nobody was going to stop him.

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