#the guild of calamitous intent

[whats-9plus10]

Pasghetti

[ru-draws]

Choice

——

Sheila gets two variations because I said so and she deserves it. I may have watched the movie a few more times now. And I may be rewatching the series. Leave me alone.

Not gonna lie, I’m fond of the GoCI variant coloring because reasons

Part 1 (x)

[thefugitivesaint]

The Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (2023) I have to admit that I've had a variation of this conversation myself.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

How many rank and file members of The Guild of Calamitous Intent do you thing were drag performers who discovered they could get health insurance through the guild?

Like, probably a lot of them. Brick Frog drag king headcanon locked in place now.

[messagesfromthefrog]

For a little while I’ve been thinking about what a crossover universe between the Venture Bros and the Boys would look like. In particular regards to the arches. What supes do you guys think would be able to handle guild arches, and who would arch who?

[fflynnsarcade]

I made a YouTube video about the fashion choices of Dr Girlfriend and how they reflect her character arc.

[benzglen11]

:)

In another World 🗺️

♐️☀️♓️🌙 ♏️↗️ IYKYK ILY 🤟 😽

Hail Eris

[marvelousmagicalaura]

The Virgin Monarch vs The Chad Monarch

[flaminghotel202020]

People I present to you my latest new OC Donna Hell, she’s my first venture Bros OC and if it isn’t already obvious she is supposed to be the daughter of Don Hell

[foxsketch6543]

VBros w/o Context IV

(A New Hope)

A new saga has arrived.

[localebra]

The Saphrax Protocol

Part 1

Phantom Limb: Theophanes the Confessor tells us of the Foederati, the elite fighting force of barbarian mercenaries. From their ranks came Saphrax Tervingian -- the first man to turn a grudge into a career.

Red Mantle: As Council Elder --

Dragoon: Oh, by like a year.

Red Mantle: You, stop it. I welcome all of you to this ancient ritual, the story of Saphrax.

All: The first villain.

Red Mantle: And his loyal comrade, Altheaeus.

All: The first henchman.

Red Mantle: Let Saphrax step into the light and declare his deeds.

The Monarch: I, The Monarch, have earned by might and rite the honor and rank of a Level Ten Villain. I am without fear. I am Saphrax.

Red Mantle: Let us begin the journey of Saphrax -- the first trial.

Dr. Z enters pushing a cart with a small hollow log on it.

Red Mantle: When Saphrax was a boy, he lost his favorite stone in the Log Of The Beast. You must find his stone.

Dr. Z: Yet the beast sleeps inside. Disturb the beast, and his wrath will be quick!

The Monarch: Put -- Put my hand in there?

Dr. Z: And retrieve the stone.

The Monarch: Really? This isn't, like, a thing, like, where I just spin the cart and the stone shoots out and you're all impressed with my cleverness?

Red Mantle: You're not Matthew Broderick. Just put your hand in there!

Dramatic music plays.

The Monarch: Ach. It's really mushy.

All: The beast!

Dr. Z: He lives in his waste. His log has never been cleaned. Do you have what it takes to find the stone?!

The Monarch: Chill out! I'm trying not to get bit!

Dr. Z: Wha-- The beast doesn't bite. What, do you think we'd have a vicious animal up here in space?

The Monarch: He doesn't bite? What-- What was all that talk about his wrath?

Red Mantle: You're touching poop! It's pretty gruesome. I wouldn't do it.

Part 2

Red Mantle: Saphrax, heavy with goat and burdened with terrible chicken, came to the bridge and was stopped by the keeper.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: I'm so proud of you, sweetie.

The Monarch: I, Saphrax, wish to cross.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: What is your business on the other side?

Red Mantle: Young Saphrax, still angry from taking the awful advice from the magic chicken, was impetuous, and answered...

The Monarch: There, on the other side, your mother waits to willingly fornicate.

All: Oh, no, he didn't!

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: You shall not pass.

Red Mantle: Then, from the wood, came Altheaeus.

All: The first Henchman.

Red Mantle: And he did aid Saphrax.

Henchman 21: Bridge keeper, behind you stands my troops, 100 strong and thirsty for bridge-keeper blood.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Really? I shall look behind.

Henchman 21: I have made you look.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Hunh! I have been deceived expertly!

All: Altheaeus, the father of "made you look."

Red Mantle: Let Altheaeus step into the light and declare his deeds.

Henchman 21: I, Henchman 21, have earned by might and rite the honor and rank of a Level Ten Henchman. I am without fear. I am Altheaeus.

Phantom Limb: Altheaeus, you have performed beyond that of a mere henchman. You have earned the station of Villain.

Henchman 21: Wait, what? T-This wasn't in my script. Like, me, or my character? Me?

Phantom Limb: You, Henchman 21, have earned the title of a Level 4 Super Villain.

The Monarch: What the fuck? This was my party!

Part 3

Red Mantle: With the taste of love still on his breath, Saphrax made his way to the throne of Emperor Flavius and unsheathed his sword.

The Monarch: Rise, Flavius, and meet your doom. It is I, Saphrax, your sworn enemy. I have bed your wife twice and now leave her to you, soaked in my seed.

All: Saphrax, the father of players.

Dr. Z: Wait! Use my sword, Mr. Monarch.

The Monarch: This isn't wood. This is a real sword.

Red Mantle: Yes. And that is your real sworn enemy. (to Dragoon) You begged me for a line and --

Dragoon: Yes. Yes, of course. Mr. Monarch, here in this ritual space -- that is in space -- anything can happen.

Muffled shouting from Dr. Venture.

Dr. Z: We all know the choice that Saphrax made. But what is your choice?

The Monarch: So... I can just like kill him?

Dr. Venture: (muffled) No. No. No. No.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: We will cover it up, and you'll get away scot-free. Your grudge will be settled, and you'll be free to do... whatever.

Red Mantle: We shall leave you two alone. What you say is yours. What you do is yours. What you decide is yours.

Muffled shouting from Dr. Venture.

Part 4

Red Mantle: Your sword is without blood. Emperor Flavius lives?

The Monarch: Yeah, yeah. He's-- He's still--

Red Mantle: Saphrax has decided to carry his grudge without the help of Altheaeus?

The Monarch: (Sighs) You know what I've decided?

The Monarch drops the sword. It clatters on the ground.

The Monarch: That you guys are fucking dicks. I come here to get my Level Ten, and and you give my henchman Villain status and give me the opportunity to kill my sworn enemy? It's a total mindfuck!

Red Mantle: This is the way of our guild, Mr. Monarch. We must hear your decision. Step into the light, Altheaeus.

The Monarch: Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Sure, let 21 be a villain. I-I'm done. What, you think I can do this shit alone? I'm too old to start again. And now that you guys have my wife and -- and my best friend and -- No! Fuck it! Fuck it, and fuck you! Guild wins. Monarch out.

Henchman 21: You know what? Me, too. I don't want to have to be a villain without him. I don't have that kind of Saphrax grudge. I just want to help my best friend with his hate. Fuck you guys. Monarch crew. Hench for life.

Red Mantle: Good! Good. You have completed the final trial.

Phantom Limb: Saphrax spared the life of Emperor Flavius and swore a blood allegiance to Altheaeus as you have done here tonight.

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Sweetie, it was a test, and you passed.

The Monarch: So -- So I'm a Level Ten?

Phantom Limb: You and your Henchman--

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Number 2.

Phantom Limb: ...rightfully are Level Ten Villains with all benefits that title is heir to. Congratulations.

All: All hail Saphrax and Altheaeus!

Ward: All hail! Yeah! All hail Saphrax! Congratu-- Look, I don't want to mess up the after party, but we need to get Doctor Venture back.

Watch: I gotta say it. I-I can't hold it in.

Ward: Dude, not the right time.

Watch: I have to! It's just too good!

Part 5

The Monarch: (yelling) Are you kidding me?!

[whats-9plus10]

VENTURE BROS T-SHIRTS ARE BACK NOVEMBER 9th AT 10am

[ru-draws]

Complications

——

So, I saw the movie finally. I still have questions.

None the less, it was radiant.

I don’t know what these are, I just had to make ‘em— and I’m making more, I don’t know, I’ve been watching this nonsense for almost 20 years, damn it, I just dig in.

Part 2 (x)

[texasthrillbilly]

Choose your fighter:

[lotendark]

have you seen this person ?

[guardnoot]

venture bros fans and enjoyers! i’ve got a work in progress discord server in case anyone is interested!

(feel free to comment when the link expires if you still wanna join)