#the goofy bap

[sugarhog-au]

Sonic rocking the crocs

[confusedcollective]

Oh my god your my only notification rn Jesus did you just become the clicker clacker???? What is happening

To be fair you are my only notif rn too, so this is revenge! You've started a war and I'm gonna keep goin >:3

[lehaniixd]

🧡💙

A platypus?

🤎🧡💙

PERRY the platypus?!!?

[sailing-through-hawkins]

hello friend here is a potential lil thing for you: kas!eddie who’s a Good Boy for steve but is still growly at the others (think ‘it don’t bite’ ‘bitch yeS IT DOES’) (it’s a wip, steve is trying his best)

this ended up a lot...sweeter than i intended? and i'm not too sure about the ending but i had to stop it there or i'd end up trying to write a full fic (≧∀≦)ゞ hope you enjoy, friend!!

“And he’s here because?”

Steve pats Eddie’s head when he hands the paprika over, smiling at his goofy (and fanged) little grin. He starts to sprinkle the spices over the pan, not even looking over his shoulder to reply, “He likes to help me cook.”

There’s a long moment of silence so Steve switches off the heat and turns around, thanking Eddie when he gives him a dishcloth to wipe his hands with. When he looks back to the group seated at the island, he has to blink to register all their faces of disbelief.

“You took our Dungeon Master,” Mike starts patiently, which Steve will give him credit for. “Who has been accused of several crimes and then got turned into a terrifying, awesome bat-man with, like, wings and teeth and shit -”

Steve could have sworn Mike used to be better at description whenever they play their sessions.

“And you’ve turned him into your sous-chef?”

Blinking, Steve looks to Eddie, who gives him a preening smile and takes the dishcloth away, and looks back to Mike, whose face is getting paler every second. “Uh,” he shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Steve, I swear by all that is -”

Mike’s tirade is cut off by a growl and Steve lets out a sigh. “Hey,” he admonishes, nudging the rumbling bat-man with his elbow. “We talked about this, no growling at the kids.”

Eddie huffs and ducks his head down to bap his forehead against Steve’s shoulder. He moves his head from side to side so he’s basically rubbing his forehead into Steve and wisps of Eddie's hair brush against his neck, making Steve bite back a laugh.

Clearly, Eddie caught that and rubbed even harder into Steve’s shoulder until he broke into laughter, black eyes glancing up at him with a mischievous smile.

“You were right.”

Steve looks over to see Dustin staring at Mike’s fuming red face, deadpan. Eddie pauses.

“He’s tamed him.”

“What?” Steve sputters, choking out a laugh when Eddie moves in closer to nuzzle at his neck, hair now tickling at his nose. “Who tamed who?”

Mike sneers. “It’s whom, dumbass -”

And just like that, Steve is being held tightly against Eddie, who hisses at Mike. Thankfully, he's used to it by now and just rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Eds,” Steve pats the hand on his chest that presses him into Eddie. "It's okay, he's just having a Michael Moment."

"What the fuck did you just -"

Of course, the little shit can't keep his mouth shut and that just aggravates Eddie even further and well, time for damage control.

"No," Steve says firmly to Eddie, who blinks and stares at him. He then turns to the kids and points a finger at them. "What did we say about name-calling?"

"Bite me -"

"Dude," Lucas, golden child that he is, shakes his head and shoves at Mike's head. "Just shut up and eat your muffin."

"Thank you, Lucas," Steve grins and Eddie huffs, still holding Steve tightly against him. With a fond sigh, Steve wiggles around and manages to face Eddie, smiling at his fanged pout. "Thank you for trying to protect me, Eds."

It's something he started doing after a few days hiding out at Steve's place. At first, he was wary and would hiss whenever Steve got too close, only letting Dustin in his space, only really caring about Dustin at all. And it wasn't...unpleasant, Steve would rather he care about the kid more than anyone else than not at all. It did make cleaning him up difficult but having Dustin sit with him and ramble about whatever the hell he could seemed to help.

Then Dustin had to leave and it was just them.

And then Steve, eventually, figured out it was like trying to befriend a scared cat. Obviously, Eddie was terrified and just needed some time, space and a little bribery to adjust to the new...everything that he was.

So with some of that time and space, Steve got a chance to make his way into Eddie's exceptions and barely gets hissed at anymore, unless it's playful. Sometimes Steve hisses back, and the first time caught Eddie so off-guard that he held Steve down while sniffing around, like he was looking for whatever made the sound.

It made Steve laugh but just confused Eddie, so he did his best to imitate Eddie's chirp, the one he does whenever Dustin asks a question, and Eddie was so flabbergasted that he started chirping back without a thought. He looked half-insulted at the fact and that just set Steve off again.

Once Eddie figured out it was Steve making the noises, he got so excited that he'd always chirp at him, jumping into Steve's space and doing goofy things to make him laugh. It'd always work, duh, cause Eddie's a funny guy, even when he's half-Upside-Down-monster.

He also ended up liking Steve so much that he gets pretty overprotective, which - it's sweet, it makes Steve feel wiggly, but they're still working on who exactly Steve (and Dustin) need protecting from.

That one time when Eddie growled at Nancy for elbowing Steve would be hilarious if it wasn't so terrifying.

...It was pretty funny though.

"This is terrible." Mike says, and Will lets out a sigh. Mike gapes at him and throws his hands in Steve's general direction. "You can see how this is terrible, right?!"

"Brat," Eddie croaks under his breath, right next to Steve's ear and he doesn't even bother holding back, breaking into a bout of laughter that has him clenching at his stomach for relief. He can feel Eddie's excitement buzzing under his skin, right where his cheek rests against Steve's. "Snooty brat."

"Is he saying something?" Dustin asks excitedly and Steve has to wave him off half-heartedly, still reeling from the pain of laughing too hard. Dustin then sounds deadpan again as he says, "Oh, he's talking shit about us, isn't he?"

"Ressspect your elderrrrrs," Eddie hisses into the air with a grin and god damn, the look of pure devastation on Dustin's face -

"The first words he speaks to us since turning Demo-Eddie and it's about being respectful." Dustin hides his face in his hands. "What has the world become?"

"He gets his dramatics from you," Steve says to Eddie, who looks back at him smugly and nudges his nose into Steve's face. "Ow, hey, watch it -"

"Getsss hisss courrage f'om you," Eddie presses his lips to Steve's cheek and -

Huh.

Well.

That's new.

Wait -

"Oh my god," Steve stares at Eddie, who preens under the attention. "I have a monster boyfriend."

The kitchen breaks out into chaos and all Steve can think about is how pretty Eddie's eyes are when he's smiling.

[thevexinator]

DrDT cat au!

An alternate universe where your favorites are cats! You own a cate café! How do you manage?

warning [srs]: implied animal abuse, drdt spoilers for ch1/2(?)

warning [silly]: fluffy and goofy cats being themselves, maybe ooc?

♡ Ace Markey [Nyace]

♡ Was originally a barn cat meant to hunt mice, but his original owners found he was too skittish for the job, so he was handed to you. Needless to say, receiving that scraggly, orange ball of fluff was definitely among the best moments in your life.

♡ The core definition of what an orange cat is. Not a single thought in his head. From hissing at random objects to hissing at other cats, Nyace is definitely a handful. He picks fights with cats that can definitely carry him by the scruff, like Meowvi, Xanmeow and occasionally Nyaruko if he feels like trying his chances. He'll pick fights with everyone and everything. Including himself.

♡ Whenever he wants your attention, he'll come over and make sure you know he exists by throwing himself onto your back, lap, spleen, or hands. He wants attention, and he wants it neow. Enjoys ear scritches. He'll always hide when guests come over.

♡ When he's not needlessly aggressive, he's deliberately leaving orange hair all over your bedsheets. You can't get mad at him though, he's just silly. He's more of an indoor cat.

♡ That said, he'll proudly trot up to you with a toy mouse as if he actually hunted down a real one. You can't help but find it extremely cute.

♡ Arei Nageishi [Nyarei]

♡ She was removed from her original owners and rightfully so. You adopted a teeny tiny lynx-point siamese that was practically trembling in your hands when you brought her home.

♡ A sassy little princess. Will playfully bap other cats on the head. Whenever she does start something, she immediately runs to you for protection. She's also very protective of you. If it's her turn for you attention, she will make sure the other cats know that.

♡ She's besties with Meowden and J, but hates Nyarturo with a burning passion. Every time he walks by, she baps him in the head. She seems pretty chill with the other cats, baping them playfully.

♡ Nyarei will always be your side, lying on some part of your body or being in the same room. Whenever guests are over, she'll come over to say hello before going off to mind her own business.

♡ Whenever you're sad, Nyarei will come over and lie on you, purring to help you feel better. You're her favorite hooman. <3

♡ Arturo Giles [Nyarturo]

♡ Your friend came over one day and asked if you could look after this small, white somali cat they found wandering around. You took him in, wondering what could've happened for him to just wander the streets.

♡ He's a very hostile little thing. He'll judge other cats, but he seems pretty chill with Vermeow and Meowvi, even a bit nicer to Nyanco. He has beef with Nyarei, since he bullied Meowden once and got scratched by her bodyguard.

♡ He's very picky with petting. He'll only let you pet him. Behind the ears, under the chin and around the neck are where he'll allow pets. He's a bit iffy about back, but paws and belly are a no go.

♡ His owner, rather tragically, passed away. He's very attached to you for giving him the love he lacked. When he wants attention, he'll quietly come over, sit on your lap, and start to purr.

♡ He isn't fond of guests, opting to just be with the other cats and not the people who come over. He's also very well kept, cleaning himself often.

♡ Charles Cuevas [Charmeow]

♡ One day, you adopted a small kitty with an attitude problem. At first, he was just a sassy little snowshoe, but you eventually found he was rather loving.

♡ He's a pretty calm one. He's more for sitting in the sun and hanging with you. Occasionally, he gets up to shenanigans with Meowhit and Nyaruko. Even though Nyaruko attacked him, he didn't stop hanging out with her. By hanging out, I mean they just sit in the sun together or judge Davmeow. He just ignores Nyarei whenever she provokes him.

♡ He doesn't mind being touched by you, but he'll politely push others' hands away with his paw. A polite no. In private, he's a little snugglebug, even with Meowhit and Nyaruko. He cleans himself often, even allowing his two cat besties to do it.

♡ Charmeow has a cactus plushie he really likes to snuggle with. Every time he wants attention, he'll bring his cactus plush with him to snuggle while with you. He's actually a very neat cat, trying not to leave cat hair all over your clothes. When he does, he feels real bad about it.

♡ Every time you cook, he jumps onto the counter to watch. He just sits there, watching you cook. Sometimes he'll even pass you utensils. What a talented young man.

♡ David Chiem [Davmeow]

♡ You thought you adopted a starry-eyed, polite and sweet russian blue. A month later, you realize he's actually a little twat. Do you love him any less? No.

♡ Davmeow is very polite when guests come over. When they leave, he goes back to being a meanie. He seems to have feuds with Charmeow and Nyaruko. He isn't above bullying everyone, even you. He bites and scratches during his zoomies.

♡ He hits everyone in passing. Nyaruko is the only one who hits him back with no hesitation. Most of the other cats just look at him or hiss.

♡ Strangely enough, Davmeow seems to be in a somewhat passive relationship with Min. While he does occasionally bap her in the face, sometimes he'll loaf and birdwatch with her. He loves Xanmeow the most.

♡ Whenever he wants your attention, he will walk into the room and scream until you pet him on the head. Average cat activities.

♡ Eden Tobisa [Meowden]

♡ The silliest munchkin cat to breathe. Very friendly, you adopted her when your friend's cat had a litter of kittens and offered you one to take care of.

♡ Very fond of all the cats in the house... except Nyarturo. He bullies her a lot. Nyarei beats him up for it. Nyaruko seems to tolerate her, Nyanco seems to enjoy having her around, and all of the cats like Meowden save for the exception.

♡ Very energetic. For a cat of her tiny size, she enjoys running around and playing. In particular, she enjoys playfighting with Meowvi, despite him being a much larger cat. Her other daily activities include sunbathing, hanging with her besties, and napping.

♡ Second most prone to zoomies out of the girl cats. You have tripped on her multiple times.

♡ Hu Jing [PawJing]

♡ A very pretty bengal kitty, PawJing often helps you with house chores. One day, she followed you home and wouldn't stop meowing until you picked her up.

♡ She's very sweet around Nyanco, but she's very much sensitive around the other cats. She hisses at Nyace a lot, which is why they're kept at a distance. Her days are usually spent following you around. She has the sweetest meow of all the cats.

♡ If she senses something is wrong, she'll prance over with a blanket. She will literally not leave your side until you feel better.

♡ She's generally very sweet with guests. Next to Meowden wins "Nice Cat of The Week" many times in a row. As mentioned before, she'll often help you around with chores by carrying things and leaving them where you do.

♡ J Rosales [J]

♡ A generally pissy and tomboyish burmese. You found this one when opening up shop one day. Not sure how she got in. You just found her.

♡ Outside of actually trying to kill Nyarturo, her days are largely spent hanging around her cat buddies. Her favorite activity involves messing with the light switch.

♡ Generally okay with guests? Depends on the day, and if she's had her breakfast yet.

♡ Most of her days are spent being a normal cat, surprising as that may be. She'll rub up on your legs or loaf in your lap, pretty much the most normal cat of the litter.

♡ Levi Fontana [Meowvi]

♡ You saw a cat, covered in blood, limping down the street near the café. Concerned, you brought the [at the time] tiny maine coon to the vet for a checkup. With no chip or collar, you were allowed to keep him.

♡ He's a pretty sweet cat. Sure, he's very large and sheds like crazy, but that's just extra storage for all the love he has in him. He'll carry Meowden around, confusing her for a kitten. He also does that to Nyace, although results are very different.

♡ Much like PawJing, he'll help you with chores around the café. He's surprisingly intelligent, carrying utensils to their designated spots with no issue.

♡ When it comes to guests, he's actually quite shy. He'll come up and say hello, but he's usually hiding somewhere if a lot of people are coming in.

♡ Min Jeung [Min]

♡ It was the scenario of finding a cat inside a box with "please adopt me" written on it in sharpie in the rain. The little cornish rex came home with you and has been there ever since.

♡ Very shy. She skids when guests come over, and she'll only come out when it's a slow day or when the café is empty. She likes a few of the regulars, though.

♡ Despite looking like a very boring cat, she's insanely intelligent. She has figured out the tricks and you cannot deceive her into going to the vet.

♡ She's very attached to you specifically. She'll follow you around or sit on your shoulders, purring whenever you scratch her head. Most people confuse her for a stuffed animal at times.

♡ Nico Hakobyan [Nyanco]

♡ ... You're not entirely sure what they are. They're definitely a breed of short-haired cat, likely a scottish fold and british shorthair mix. They were the first ever cat you adopted into your care.

♡ Somehow, they're more shy than Min. Does not come out whenever the café is open. Exclusively hang out with PawJing, Purrose, and still prefer solitude.

♡ Really attached to you. Unbelievably clingy. While cats like Min, Meowhit, and occasionally Charmeow and the others can get clingy, none are as clingy as Nyanco. Will literally cling to you and never let go.

♡ Has a favorite mouse toy they bring with them everywhere. They will literally never go anywhere without one.

♡ Rose Lacroix [Purrose]

♡ A very sleepy tortie cat. You originally assumed she had died on the side of the street, only to find out that she was just asleep.

♡ As mentioned before, her hobby is sleeping. She is almost never awake. While she does seem to have some kind of kitty circle with Nyaruko, Meowden, and Min, she's usually sleeping through most of the day.

♡ When she is awake, she's usually pretty inactive. Never experiences zoomies and usually lies around whenever.

♡ Her favorite napping spot just happens to be your lap.

♡ Teruko Tawaki [Nyaruko]

♡ One day, while taking out the trash, you found this poor baby in the dumpster. The trip to the vet was definitely a fight, and it took her a while to get used to you... in the end, you're still the only human she trusts.

♡ On day one, she was pretty hostile to the others, even through the door meeting phase. Gradually, she warmed up to Charmeow and Meowhit. She began following them around and never left their sides until she was independent enough to hang out with the rest.

♡ She's distrusting of guests. At first, she would hide when they came over. Once she got a little more used to it, she would generally just sit in their vicinity, maybe come closer if she got curious.

♡ If you give her enough time, she'll come to you. She likes to nestle against you, as she finds you to be a source of safety. She couldn't be more grateful.

♡ Veronika Grebenshchikova [Vermeow]

♡ A strange calico you found in the café one day. No clue where she came from. She just appeared one day.

♡ She's definitely joyous and filled with whimsy. Very popular among guests for how silly she is!!

♡ When she's not bothering Nyarturo, she's causing general mischief around the café. Shenanigans that not even Nyarei gets up to. She'll look you dead in the eyes and reach for an electrical socket.

♡ She's very aggressive when playing. Of course, she doesn't cause any physical harm, but she gets rough sometimes. Somehow, more orange than Nyace.

♡ ... she's the one bringing dead mice to your doorstep.

♡ Whit Young [Meowhit]

♡ The charming turkish angora. Endearingly dubbed "vanilla custard" by guests, Meowhit is a very friendly cat!

♡ He loves to follow Charmeow and Nyaruko around. It's basically his hobby outside of cutesing his way out of trouble. He gets up to trouble with Nyarei.

♡ Strangely enough, he'll never let you go into the bathroom alone. He'll meow obnoxiously until you let him inside. Even then, he'll just sit on the sink and stare at you. You're not sure why... it's pretty worrying.

♡ He has a heart on his back. It would be a crime to miss this detail.

♡ Xander Matthews [Xanmeow]

♡ British shorthair with a missing eye. He was left at a shelter after he was abandoned. You have taken him in, and he's the most loving little creature ever.

♡ He's very hyper. He can run around endlessly and not get tired. Among Vermeow, Nyace and himself, he's somehow the most orange one of them. He is every single orange cat video to exist at the same time.

♡ So loud. He meows very loud without meaning to. Nyaruko hisses at him every time he does. The poor boy knows no rest. </3

♡ He's the one keeping everyone else in line. If they misbehave, she scruffs them and drags them into the corner for time out.

[mblue-art]

Sorry for that question but I really curious!

What made you fell in love with Cross and Lust?

Tell us more!!

😳😳😳 hhuh what rreally,, , ,,, 😳 u wanna hear me yap abt my sillies, my beloveds,,, (i appreciate the enthusiasm tho omg 🥺🫶🫶🫶)

i want to have the yuris with lust and the yaois with cross I I MEAN HWHWAT 🧍‍♂️

UM.

haha anyWAY,, (oh gog this ended up long)

🍫—

cross checks so many boxes for me it makes me go insane. too good to be true. versatile(??)— like it's somehow way too easy to put him in Situations. (he's bf and husbone material??? just -20hp me now; that already kills me) he's. hh. gawddamn there's reasons why he won a utmv sans sexyman poll.

he's like a crush that you can't get out of your head no matter what you do, i'm so freaking down bad for him it's not even funny anymore. ever since simping for cross i have not been the same since. the man has changed me. the attraction/simp feelings hit me like a bat out of nowhere and i don't understand why it's so intense— i. hh.

,,i like when ppl make him dorky. stupidly silly (absolutely love shitpost shenanigans and would absolutely LOVE to get into silly shenanigans with him and with/without his bestie epic). fun to be around when he's deemed you as a good friend. stars, he'd give good hugs. strong, solid, and warm, the kind of hugs u don't wanna pull away from so soon. a little endearingly cringe. fanon simp cross is adorable and fun to mess around with. tsundere cross is adorable and fun to mess with. cute anxious guy under all that intimidating aloofness. when i say his smile is an absolute treasure, i mean that. his blush making him look like a grape or a glowing bulb is adorable and makes me wanna tease him more. anime protag/character vibes so strong i wanna have a cute bl/shoujo manga romance with him type shit yk.

then there's times when he's The Hot Dude and i think it's illegal if he's all confident and smug and dom actually (/hj) cause that makes me wanna fucking fite him HELLO? SIR? ILLEGAL????? (<- the fight or flight response of a tsundere towards a milder tsundere LOL).

-hp every single time. mf gets successful d20 rolls w/ rizz on me and i get a critical hit every time. it's a 50/50 either i fluster to death and become weak or i wanna fite his dumbass

i'll. i can fight him. i'll lose but i can fight him for sure. (why is he so cool⁉️‼️💢💢💢RRRRRRR)

he makes me feel things. lots of things. (mostly fluster but when i'm feelin sooper soff i jst wanna shower his skull in keeses. ima kissy lil guy)

tired cross makes me just wanna take care of him. want him to come home to me without any worry because he thinks i'm his safe space.

when he's being stubborn i want to tell him to chill out for a little while, take a break and watch some funny stuff while drinking choccy milk or eating his fav foods and be cozy. bapping him if he's gonna try to get out of this too soon. he's gonna get the free time he deserves n relax n get cuddles n kithes.

the way he can gently hold my hand and look at me with a sincere look in his eyelights and say something genuinely affectionate feels like cupid shooting an arrow through my soul, but also feels like a balm. (a promise of loyalty and faithfulness.) (a kiss on the forehead? a cherry on top.)

well now i can't be mean to him with all the nice he's saying and doing. i just want nice things for him o(-< (even if he's a bastard sometimes lol<3 all circles back to the silly) (silly is always important)

💜—

i love lust. so so so much. the fanon interpretation of him, anyway.

(don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the feminine slay content of lust; but am i wrong for yearning for more masc lust content?)

i like my lust sans respectful, goofy, sans-like, an absolute sweetheart, and a caring, wonderful life partner. under the flirty personality and charm(ing looks), is a sans behavior that made me fall deeper. (he makes me feel very gender too) (ohmygofd yeah no he actually makes me think of gender sometimes rauauagrrgh<3/pos). i don't have to worry about showing my cring, weird side to him, because he's also a gremlin,, o(-< he doesn't have to present himself all nice and pretty all the time (although he's always pretty in my eyes). he can be comfortably himself; with me 🥺

i want to be his safe space.

i want to see him heal and be happy and be happy with me and give him all the love i can give and care for him and make him soso happy i just want him to feel SO sosososo loved, he deserves so much more

he's the only one who's able to get a certain reaction out of me; to pull flowers out of my heart. to pull out words of love and devotion and appreciation, heart bursting with affection only for him.

for him, i would try. i would live for him. i wish someone like him (the him i've created from interpretations and headcanons) was real irl.

i want to not care i don't care if he's a gorgeous well-known person that people fawn over, or if he's a campus crush, etc.,

i want him to think i'm worthy enough to keep in his life. for him to know how special he is to me, for him to know how much i want him in my life as much as i want him to keep me in his.

my immediate reaction when i think of him is: 😊💕💜💜💜eeeee kicks and giggles and flaps hands teehee

i love him so much i get a heart-on for him (/silly but it is true sometimes; love him so much it aches (in a good way))

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

We must consider kitty Ed hiding under the couch with his tail poofed up real big and his ears flattened back because he's feeling so scared and upset. And then puppy Stede coming up to him and doing goofy little play bows and excited yips until he wants to come out to play (Stede is very happy about it even though Ed's idea of playing mostly involves bapping him with his paws)

[shadykazama]

hii!! I wanted to ask if you still write for overwatch and if you do, could i request baptiste nsfw alphabet??? tyy

No, thank YOU whoever you are for requesting this!! I haven't done one of these in a hot minute and I honestly haven't been motivated much to write recently but I'll be DAMNED if I ignore a request for this angel. Bap needs love desperately, he's like easily top 3 hottest overwatch characters! Ugh 😩 anyway-

OW Baptiste NSFW alphabet~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

🧡 He is a romantic through and through. Will pepper you with kisses and let you rest on his chest after he cleans up. And I do mean HE. Cause he won't be letting you do any of the work, you are his prince/princess!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

🧡 Loves your hips! Grabbing them to pull you into a hug- or grabbing them during much less innocent activities is 100% his go to.

🧡 He loves his arms! Listen, that man works out. He puts a lot of effort into being strong and looking good. Besides just being proud of his hard work, big arms means he can toss you over his shoulder or keep you safe. He also loves when you grab onto his arms while he's fucking you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

🧡 Unsurprisingly, his cum is thick and doesn't have too much flavor. He has a really good diet which affects how he tastes! I definitely headcanon him as having had a vasectomy; he's nowhere near ready to have a kid and is a responsible individual who knows he's able to lessen the risk. If you're not uncomfortable with it, he loves to cum inside of you- but if you'd prefer he didn't, he usually tries to pull out and cum in his hand so he doesn't make as much of a mess.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

🧡 He's lowkey into exhibitionism and would love to fuck you in a public space, but he knows there's simply no way he'd actually be able to do it. At best, he may ask you to make a video with him for his eyes only.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

🧡 He's a huge flirt and an ex-mercenary, I can definitely see him being experienced with both men and women. Regardless of how experienced you are, he's positively gentle with you the first time you guys have sex. He wants to get to know you, and your body, the best that he can.

🧡 If you're inexperienced, he'll go slow and gentle, and will talk you through it with words that will leave you blushing red like an apple.

🧡 If you ARE experienced, however, he'll shift his attention toward learning what you like as quickly as he can so he can give you the time of your life.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

🧡 He loves fucking you in any position where you can easily grab his arms or he can easily grab your hips. He's a simple man~ I'd say missionary with your legs pinned up beside your head. Or- alternatively, holding you up against a wall.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

🧡 As romantic as he is, he's just as much of a flirt- and a playful one at that. It's rare that he's not cracking you up with terrible pick up lines or the corniest lovey dovey comments ever. He wants to see you smile and have fun with him!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

🧡 He's very well trimmed, well kept, clean 🤌. He doesn't mind hair on his partner at all, but cleanliness is important to him!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

🧡 Oh gosh, this angel?? You'll never feel more loved than when he's got you held in his arms. You are his god given solace and heaven on earth to him. Between cheesy lines and overly sweet comments, he'll spit out some poetry every now and then that will have your heart melting as he makes a mess of you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

🧡 I'd say he does it the normal amount, but more interestingly- he really likes mutual masturbation. Something about watching you touch yourself or vice versa is extremely hot to him and though you can't really tell, will leave him a blushing mess.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

🧡 Fun is the most important part of sex to him, fun and intimacy. So what does a fun loving, flirtatious, sweetheart like? Well roleplay of course! It's as silly as it is sexy, and if that doesn't scream Baptiste I don't know what does.

🧡 Exhibitionism, to a small degree! It's his dirty secret.

🧡 Praise!!! He could make a sailor blush with that silver tongue of his. He will never leave you feeling unloved or unworshipped.

🧡 Marking. There's just something SO hot to him about you leaving marks on him. Claw up his back, his arms- leave your lipstick kisses all over him, give him hickeys!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

🧡 The bed is most preferable, since he likes to take his time, but if he's in more of a rush or just feeling frisky he'll take you on the kitchen counter~

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

🧡 Form. Fitting. Clothing. 🙌 Show yourself off! He thinks your body is perfect and will melt when you show off that confidence.

🧡 Dancing. He's a good dancer and would love to dance with you. Get a little bold and start putting on a show for him~

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

🧡 Will NOT do degradation or receive it. It's a huge turn off for him.

🧡 The furthest he'll go with hitting you is maybe playing around with some toys or spanking you to be cheeky, but I think any actual pain play would be a no for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

🧡 This man LOVES getting his dick sucked. LOVES IT. And damn does he look good while he's receiving. He'll sit nice and good for you, one hand on your head, not pushing or putting pressure- just there ground himself. Leave bites or kiss marks on his thighs and he may cum right then and there!

🧡 He's skilled at giving as well, though I think he'd prefer receiving. That won't damper his enthusiasm to pleasure you though! He's more than happy to have you mewling underneath him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

🧡 Prefers to take it slow and have fun with it, but is very susceptible to begging. If you ask for more, he'll give you more. He's more than capable of ruining you. Likes to make corny doctor jokes afterwards though.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

🧡 Prefers to take his time, but that's just because it's more fun to him. He's more than willing to drop everything and succumb to some carnal pleasure with you every now and then~

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

🧡 He'll try just about anything once as long as you ask. He makes it really clear too that he's open to any suggestions and won't judge you for them.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

🧡 He'll normally stop after one or two rounds depending on how tired you are, but he can push three if you really beg him. He'll never leave you unsatisfied though, regardless of how tired he may be.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

🧡 Toys are his allies!! He'll never see them as competition. He doesn't own any to use on himself, aside from maybe a prop or two for his roleplay stuff, but any and all toys you bring to the relationship, he'd be more than happy to use on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

🧡 He's not too bad, he likes seeing you happy and pleasured more than anything, but every now and then he'll get a bit of a teasing attitude- usually when he's going down on you. There's just something about how cute you look and how in control he is that tickles that part of him that wants to make you whine and beg a little.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

🧡 He's extremely vocal, both in words and in moans. He'll be the loudest when you suck him off, since he's not worried too much about anything else but how you're making him feel. His moans aren't shy, they're very full and pretty.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

🧡 He's a switch, leaning top. Even when he's on bottom I see him more as a power bottom than anything.

🧡 Thinks it's hot when you ride him, but can't help himself and always helps you out, grabbing your hips and thrusting up in time with your movements.

🧡 His inner thighs are pretty sensitive and a good way to get him squirming.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

🧡 Big. I will not apologize to anyone, this man is PACKING. Easily nine inches if not more. He's circumcised and around average thickness for his size. He's a shower not a grower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

🧡 Average if anything. He's a huge flirt, but he's also a busy guy- he's got a fairly normal libido and a good amount of self control. Getting him riled up enough to make him lose control is tough, especially since when you start, he'll tease you right back!

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

🧡 Not a big napper, and is used to not getting much sleep, so I'd say you're more likely to fall asleep before him. But if you don't, he likes watching TV before bed and will let you pick what you guys watch.

Thanks so much again for the request, Bap is such an angel!

Have kitty Bap for making it to the end! <3

[feralwetcat]

PSSSTTT

Fable death games au (possibly hunger games or survival games) where Ari was able to evade being put in due to literally everyone thinking she was dead but is discovered to be alive and shoved into the games with a handicap as punishment (halfway through vexing maybe?), manages to escape, gets vexed, shoved back into games, boom bap bam silly goofy

[infinite-hearts-333]

Lil Goofy Dreamer when they were first found by Oura Thorn! His home village was raided and he got separated from his parents, only told to flee into the bush of their home planet.

A couple days later, Thorn stuck their snout down the wrong log, and got a dizzying paw bap!

After a long, tiring and slightly infuriating process of getting them up to full health, Thorn tried to get them to interact with the other kids, starting with Zane’s kids ( @moonspiritleaf ), who the youngest is the same age as Goofy and then with Merrits kids ( @fishy0bishy ), who would probably baby sit while the rangers go out for dinner or something 💥💥

@onyxonline

[just-a-lurking-creature]

Hai :3 *baps u affectionately*

Welcome to my blog! This is my main, as the title suggests lol. I post a bunch of random things, mainly just whatever I’m thinking abt :}

Feel free to message me and send me asks, I love new friendos :3

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I go by a lot of names, my favorites are clover, lurk, onyx, shenanigan, and kit, so please do you best to rotate through all/some of my names (if this is hard for you for whatever reason, feel free to just choose one and stick with it, that’s ok :3)

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My pronouns are they/it, I need to update my pronouns page but I’ll link that when it’s done.

Im aroace and aspec 🏳️‍🌈

Here’s a post that has a master list of all my identities and labels if your curious :3 https://www.tumblr.com/cloversmainblog/763999635980369920/gender?source=share

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Oh also PLEASE NO ASKS FOR DONATIONS I HAVE NO MONEY TO GIVE

and I’m a minor lol so stay SFW

Dni: no dni just be kind and accepting to all and I will block you if I see fit

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I’m quoiian 🐾 

lore post on my quoitype: /cloversmainblog/764828058774552576/time-for-another-type-lore-post-3?source=share

whats a quoiian? https://www.tumblr.com/quoiian/704096380277456896/quoiian?source=share

Practicing quadrobist, but my quads are always quiet….. goofy (it’s a work in progress 😭)

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I take art comms, here’s the post with more details:

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My tags: 

clovers OC’s which is all stuff abt my ocs

clovers rants which is any long block of text/rant

clover answers asks which is me answering asks lol

clover and meadows art which is a where I post all my art, me and @moon-and-fries share this tag

clover is a creature which anything abt alterhuman stuff

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My fandoms:

(I don’t post a lot of fandom stuff just fyi)

Carmen Sandiego, Hilda, Epic, Hamilton, heathers, graceling realm, Riordanverse 

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Randoms:

I have two Labrador retrievers

I appreciate tone tags /lh

I love reading

I’m agnostic but respect all religions, just don’t force religious ideas and such on me please

quote database of all the funky stuff my moots say :3

face reveal post:

https://www.tumblr.com/cloversmainblog/764347981949435904/im-just-better-like-that-j-lh?source=share •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[local-diavolo-anon]

For fun i am going to give some infos on the ✨️ domestic mermen aus ✨️ i want to draw for mermay

Because why not

Also this is a "the celestial boys x y/n" kind of au

Moon is an halfmoon blue betta fish

Sun is an orange and yellow fancy goldfish

And Eclipse (he is a thing) is a common pleco

The story goes that because of an error of a new employee in a fish shop, Moon and Sun ended up in the same tank

Moon instantly tried to fight sun necause who the crap are you and why are you in my home

Sun, being a fancy goldfish, is just a dorky, goofy guy and didn't really got that Moon was trying to throw hands, and tried to befriend him

It kind of worked, surprisingly even to Moon, who realized this new fish was akin to a golden retriever and most definitely not there to fight

Adoption time.png because how have you survived in your own (Moon fully ignored Sun has ever only been around to similarly dorky and goofy fancy goldfishes before who had no fighting instinct whatsoever)

By the time anybody noticed a fancy goldfish was missing from their tank, Moon refused to have anybody take Sun from him

Like, he bit the employees and tried to hide Sun in the rocks (he got l Sun stuck a couple of times as well), and to avoid either of them being hurt, they were labelled as "Sold as a Pair"

Later Sun also tried to whoo Moon, which also worked

This is where Y/N comes into play

They walked in searching for a new betta and found the two clowns right there

Took them both home because why not, their home tank can fit both of them, even if some minor accomodations have to be done

Despite how diffident Moon was at first, with some time he warms up to the dry giant that occasionally brings them food and pets them

No warm up needed for Sun who instantly decided the pets were the best thing ever

Y/N really fucking loves their fishes because despite Moon biting them at every feeding time, they are still extremely cute and funny

At first Y/N thought Moon was bullying Sun or something and were worried, but Sun enjoys being spun around the tank so there is that

Moon also hides in the algae forest and Sun tried to do the same, promptly getting bapped in the face by Moon each time in a whack the mole kind of show

Later Y/N got then two separate tanks connected by a tube so each of them got their own spaces and habitats

Moon fits in the tube, Sun is too chonky and can't get in there, this is on purpose so he doesn't end up stuck in the many decorations Moon's tank has

This is where Y/N also got Ecplise

He lives in both tanks and being a Pleco, cleans around the glass

Neither Sun or Moon are that friends with him because he is a weirdo and licks the rocks

He ain't evil or anything, he is just weird

and being way bigger than either of them, Moon never tried to throw hands only once and failed because Eclipse was just that big

[pocket-void]

Gooooood MORNING everybody!!! Happy boop day! ^///^✨💖

The April fools gimmick being to bap people’s blogs on this site is honestly very very goofy fun. Patting everybody fr <333

[marusketch]

Unironically glad tumblr added this dumb boop feature. I'm getting to know so much cool shit. Case and point, this blog. Anyways-

*drowns you in baps and boops*

You found me!!!

Fortunately I brought my scooba gear for the ocean of boops and baps.

This feature is kinda like when the R key rapid fire reblog sensation hit, but with much more dedication required. Pretty damn fun for a dedicated April Fools day feature.

Also I'm glad that my two blogs are similarly named since most people don't know this is my main and that posting is just a goofy sideblog. Kinda forgot this would be the url all the boops are coming from.

Imagine 400+ attacks from a completely unfamiliar url. Menacing stuff.

[barkedupbitch]

I recently started watching kamen rider x, and I’ve kinda fallen in love with the goofiness.

Sure, more recent shows may have more complicated plots or expensive effects, but there’s something so pure about the bad guys having plans like “let’s disguise ourselves as school bus drivers to kidnap and cryogenically freeze kids to collapse Japan” only for the super cyborg man to show up on the world’s dumbest looking bike and bap the bad men with a fancy meter stick until they turn into miniatures and explode.

It’s perfect

[katiekatdragon27]

Waaahhhhh, I’m so silly goofy aaahhhhh

I had a mini comic series in mind called “Storybots After Hours”. Idk if I’ll actually do it, but it was basically a hypothetical about what the Storybots do from 5 to 9. Lots of slice of life and more morality lessons over academic ones.

One of the characters that would be introduced is Bap, Bang and Boop’s daughter. She’s a bit unhinged and bratty, but she usually means well. She is at daycare while her parents work (also elementary school but that’s a given). She mellows out when she becomes a teen. She also has sharp teeth, but no one knows which side of the family she inherited it from.

Also also, all storybot children have tails. They drop off in their teen years, but there are exceptions, which usually causes said storybot to be smaller or larger than normal.

Some other pics below the cut:

Have a good day my dudes :)