#the gang recycles their trash

[charmac]

Do you think he knew

[chrliekclly]

me talking abt th high school -> current deetress timeline

[charliework16]

baby seasons change but people don’t

[gaydennisreynolds]

"recycles their trash" being banned from streaming was just them silencing the truth of gay dennis

[bredforloyalty]

OH SO THAT'S WHY.. it was so weird to me that the gang gets a new member ends with charlie not accepting the invitation back to the gang and then everything's normal next episode. that's because that's not how it goes and i didn't pay enough attention and didn't notice that the real next episode was removed. for understandable reasons.

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

I can fill in some more of these blanks and add in additional context for some of the others that were looking a bit sparse.

(I've used black, purple and orange to colour text in decreasing order of certainty. Green is for ones that were already explained but I'm adding more context.)

Glenn Howerton Burnout no. 1 was actually way back in season 6 and then the big one we all know about was in season 11 which is why they wrote him out at the end of season 12, and he had a much better time filming season 12 because he knew he was done.

**Wrexhamgate refers to how Glenn still hasn't watched WTW, Rob hasn't watched past ep 10 of AP Bio and Glenn hasn't watched past ep 7 or 8 of Mythic Quest.

**Not sure what Irelandgate is? The fact that they didn't actually film season 15 in Ireland because of covid, maybe?

Rob NFTgate extended edition includes him starting an Adimverse company to encourage some kind of virtual crowdsourced writers room but it was really just another NFT crypto scheme. And worse, it came out after general public opinion on NFTs had started to sour.

Glenn Poppersgate is about him announcing in the live shows that he's done poppers and going off on them as soon as the topic came out. And ofc poppers are gay af. Apparently some of that content as well as other drunk Glenn gems were cut out of the podcast episode. He's never beating the allegations.

Glenn Spotify are his three public playlists, Moody Mood 1, Moody Mood 2 and Rocky Rock, released back in 2018 or so.

Glowerton antivaxgate is based on a few tweets he posted advocating for parent's choice in vaccinating schoolkids in 2014-2015 in the aftermath of having watched a scare-propaganda antivax "documentary". Unclear whether his opinions have changed, but he seems to not be antivax on covid based on the podcast and s15?

*Rob Rosell Fruitgate... do you mean Scott Marder fruitgate about how he'd never eaten blueberries, pears and other fruits and that made it into Hits the Road when Mac buys Charlie a pear? Meanwhile he was an expert on smelling salts.

Rami Malek Hate Train could've also been about Jared Leto according to the two options r/iasip deduced back in the day based on the criteria (from Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad)

Glenn Homewrecker Redditgate is a story from an old reddit post, possibly from one of his AMAs, where someone posted a long story about how he'd shown his longtime girlfriend Sunny and she then messaged Glenn on MySpace and cheated on him with Glenn way back in the day, and now he could never go back to being a Sunny fan because he couldn't watch it anymore. Not sure if this was a true story though because the username made it seem like a copypasta.

Fred Savage who directed much of Sunny S3-5 was accused of assault, harassment and other misconduct at shows he worked on both in the '90s and around 2015.

**Sunny intern replying to Anna and Rob liking Nat's tweet both sound like sunnytwt events. There were screenshots of some thirst posts getting interaction with the official Sunny account going around sunnybr last month, so probably that?

*Rob Gay Podcast might be the episode he did on Dax Shepard's pod where he talks about enjoying the male form and wishing he could feel about it in a gay way

*That 80s Show Cancellation... not sure what this is specifically about, but without it we wouldn't have Sunny. Glenn and Charlie's first real significant meeting was after auditioning for this show, the actress who plays Carmen met Glenn on this show, and the money from this show helped pay for the cameras they shot the Sunny home movies with.

Stephen Collins who played Bruce Mathis aka Mr Save the Children turned out to be a creep who sexually abused minors, and his career ended when he admitted it in 2014

*Glowerton Wikifeet might from the Paddy's Pub ep of the pod where he reads a creep comment on having seen all the guys' ankles. Rob suggests they do an episode without shoes. Glenn mentions that he has very long toes, with his middle toe being as long as his pinky finger. In the aftermath, people tracked down screenshots of Dennis on the show and the home movie showing off his toes.

Baby Bird! Kaitlin fed Glenn jerky or smtg similar mouth-to-mouth like a momma bird. Glenn posted two pictures of them doing this on insta or twt before deleting them quickly. Too late. Tumblr has them forever.

Jordan Reid Firing was partly due her and Rob breaking up in a bad way, but also involves some stuff about the top-level executives at FX seeing the young woman as more replaceable than the guys. She was also betrayed by her agents and managers who never fought for her to get a producer credit and left her as soon as she got fired after they shot the FX pilot.

AI Gate 2023 were last month's posts of "Glenn" on a podcast (that the real Glenn actually went on once) saying Dennis loved Mac back except this clip was ai generated.

Rob Dick Pic Gate come out of the 2016 Sunny gang at LA pride photos going around here earlier this year, when someone spotted Rob adjust his massive hog through his trousers in a video from that event. It led to many "hog watch" posts where ppl would post screenshots of any outline you could see of Rob's hog in and off the show.

Glob Showergate came out of a podcast run by some horror film actresses talking about their experiences at a party when two of them ended up in a shower with Rob and Glenn and how it was weirdly normal. The story was about how she later went out once with Glenn when he took he to see Saw and was way more awkward then than he was in the shower.

*The number of asterisks indicates the degree of uncertainty.

If anyone can help us figure out Glowerton Femalegate, Private Schoolgate and Glenn Howerton Dead Prophecy, that would be much depreciated. More clarification on the Sunnytwt events would help too because I don't know who Anna and Nat are.

Also, does anyone have the homewrecker glennjamin reddit post and the Kaitlenn momma/baby bird post?

idk if anyone’s done this before but sunny lore iceberg🙏🙏

[hofmanns]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 8, Episode 02 ↳ The Gang Recycles Their Trash (2012)

[thegirlsread]

crazy that one of the removed episodes is the gang recycles their trash. are there people who haven’t watched mac blatantly attempt to kiss dennis? that scene haunts me it’s so quick and charlie’s there but i swear i held my breath when i first watched it

[one-vivid-judgment]

Wait, I was thinking about Kluen's one step away from being a team rocket grunt team and realized if you pair it with my orphan headcanon it is really sad.

I know the games imply the starters are free, but I refuse to believe the parents don't pay a fee upfront. Kluen didn't have anyone to pay that fee so he never got an official starter, it is just a Raticate he managed to catch with a singular working pokeball he rummaged from the trash.

His Drifloon was trying to take him, but Kluen managed to catch it and was so proud. His Seviper moved into a crack in the wall and Kluen took care of it until Seviper nudged itself into a pokeball himself. A Shuppet appeared on his wall, and instead of dissecting the implications he caught it without a second thought. He made his Tinkatink a little replacement hammers from the bits he could recycle and it was the start of his creative interest and his lifelong architecture partner.

Like, I can see Phum (in jealousy and insecurity) insult Kluen's team and it is the most genuinely angry anyone has seen Kluen because this is his little family he clawed together from nothing, how dare a man who turned down a purebred eevee out of rebellion insinuate sometime negative about them.

In the future, when they are all friends, I like to imagine the gang bands together and gets Kluen a Froakie, the starter he never got to have.

God, I was so set on "Kluen has a stereotypically evil team but they are all super chill and defy all expectations" I didn't even think of the implications of orphan Kluen having all these 'bad guys' flock to him 😭

NOT THE DRIFLOON TRYING TO TAKE HIM. I'm adopting that tho, mainly cause it fits in with my idea of how Kluen just,,, didn't catch a single one of his Pokémon, they basically caught themselves bc he helped them out one way or another, so they decided Kluen was chill and stayed. 

Like, he found a Bannete in the trash and instead of running for the hills cause those things are known to hold grudges and be VERY bad, Kluen just picked him up and went "Yeah, I'll take care of you, buddy" (because he knows how it feels like to be thrown away when people no longer like you). 

His Seviper had had a fight with some wild Pokémon, probably a Zangoose, and was very badly injured when Kluen found him. The nurses didn't know if he was gonna make it, but Kluen had already taken care of a baby Inkay (who was abandoned and severely underweight, Kluen had to feed him every couple hours to make sure he pulled through—which it did, now it's his always-fucking-hungry Malamar) by that point, so he was like "Nah, I can do this". And he actually did. And the Seviper stayed and basically caught himself. 

The Tintakink having a broken hammer and Kluen making her a new one is so,,, I'm adopting that one too 😭

I didn't know what to give him for a sixth Pokémon for a while until I thought,,, oh my God, a Garbodor.

Phum would make SO MANY jokes at their expense out of jealousy and Kluen would snap because "Bitch, you know how it feels to know your apartment is so run down and filthy that Trubbish have started to drop by to eat your trash? And for your information, this 'piece of trash' is my FRIEND, so shut the fuck up about him." Kluen is SO protective of his little garbage buddy because he knows there's so much negative talk around them, but not on his watch. He's been feeding this baby Trubbish since he first came by his house and he's been keeping Kluen's house so clean in exchange, he's not gonna take any bullshit. That's actually part of why he likes to hang out with Beer too. He actually doesn't think his friends are gross, and he even saves up some trash to feed to his Garbodor sometimes.

[cruiseshipmoment]

Charlie Kelly and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder: Part Two

See here for part one, which contains an introduction and the first part of the criteria for Neurodevelopmental Disorder Associated with Prenatal Alcohol Exposure as applied to Charlie Kelly.

Criterion C1. Impaired self-regulation as manifested by impairment in mood or behavioral regulation.

Charlie is often irritable. He shouts a lot, even compared to the rest of the Gang. Chronic irritability is not a pleasant state, so it's safe to say that Charlie struggles to shift away from that emotion.

Charlie also has behavioral outbursts that vary in intensity and are out of his control. He needs Dennis' help to calm down in "The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition." He hits his head on the wall and screams in "The Gang Gets Analyzed," which is classic uncontrollable meltdown behavior. There's also the scene in "Frank Shoots Every Member of the Gang" where he screams and bashes the landline into the wall. The existence of Charlie's "bad room" suggests that these outbursts are a frequent occurrence. The most dramatic example is the biting when he gets really wound up, which Mac says has been going on since they were in kindergarten.

The mood and behavioral regulation issues are likely compounded by Charlie also having PTSD and substance use issues, both of which can also make people irritable and prone to outbursts.

Criterion C3. Impaired self-regulation as manifested by impairment in impulse control.

Charlie does a lot of things on impulse. There's the kidnapping a bar critic in "Paddy's Pub" The Worst Bar in Philadelphia. Like Dennis, he got engaged on a whim to someone he didn't really know. Mac tells him to stop pulling his teeth out when they're on the run, but Charlie keeps doing it. The entire restaurant scene in "Charlie and Dee Find Love." He sometimes says things before his brain can catch up, like going, "Beak!.. no!" in "The Gang Misses the Boat." There's the time in "2020: A Year in Review" where Charlie fired a rocket launcher in the bar and only afterwards realized he shouldn't have done that.

Like his emotion regulation difficulties, the impulse control issues are likely compounded by his substance use.

Criterion D1. Impairment in adaptive functioning as manifested by communication deficit.

Charlie struggles with both expressive (saying things to people) and receptive (understanding what people are saying to him) language.

There are multiple incidents where other characters comment that Charlie is listening, but he's not really absorbing the meaning of any of the words. Sometimes he can't follow the conversation at all, like in "The Gang Recycles their Trash." When he doesn't understand, he'll often try to cover by repeating the words back in a different order (see: "The Gang Gets Analyzed"); this is very common in people who have some kind of difficulty with language. He has trouble following verbal directions, such as Mac's plan in "The Gang Gets Held Hostage." He also sometimes has trouble determining what definition of a word is being used, like the groom confusion in "The Gang Goes on Family Fight."

Charlie will often use words that are close to the one he wants, but aren't quite correct. Sometimes he goes off the sound of the word, resulting in things like the philanthropist/full-on rapist debacle. "The words get blocked up in my mouth and I don't say it no good" from "The Waitress is Getting Married" and his frustration at trying to explain his side of the argument in "Sweet Dee Gets Audited" are both big clues that Charlie has trouble saying what he means to say.

Criterion D2: Impairment in social communication and interaction.

Charlie has some difficulty conversing with people who don't know him, as seen during the blind date incident. This is also noticeable during "The Gang Group Dates," with his struggle to find socially acceptable topics. When Frank is your coach for socially appropriate behavior, that's a pretty big sign of social interaction difficulties.

Charlie's most significant social communication issue is his difficulty understanding social consequences. His entire dynamic with the Waitress before season 13 hinges on him not understanding that she does not and will never reciprocate his feelings the way he wants her to, nor is his behavior towards her going to make her feel anything other than scared or angry.

Criterion D3: Impairment in daily living skills.

Charlie struggles with hygiene. His oral hygiene is nonexistent, which is why his teeth are falling out. Mac says he's never seen Charlie wear deodorant in the entire time they've known each other. He showers in the bar urinals.

Supplemental Notes

There are indirect signs of FASD that Charlie exhibits that are not in the DSM criteria, but they're definitely worth noting.

Charlie meets the criteria for pica, a disorder where people eat things that are definitely not food. Pica is more common in people with FASD.

Mrs. Kelly says Charlie was born three months after the failed abortion. There are a few explanations for this. Either the doctor performed an extremely shoddy dilation and extraction, or Charlie was born at least a few months premature. Babies with FASD are more often premature than babies without FASD.

People with FASD are at high risk for struggling with substance use later in life, like Charlie does. On a related note, up to 60% of adults with FASD have been involved in the legal system, which is true of Charlie.

[charmac]

The Gang Recycles Their Old Jokes Trash

↳ S8E02

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, where we have reached Fall Friday! And the gang going out to yet another world to peddle their Van Liddelton Snacks. :) Let's see how that went for them –

-->Started with everyone where I’d left them on Saturday – Alice sleeping, Victor working on his new song, Smiler editing their latest SimsTube video (“Karaoke Til Spooky,” the singing video they were working on when they got interrupted by the house making weird noises), and Marm playing chess while his durability slowly degraded. I had Smiler finish their edits on the video (just had to add some fancy transitions), hype it up to their followers, then upload it, while I sent Marm out to feed Toothy the cowplant before anybody got any ideas about eating the cake tongue –

And then the game informed me “hey, pop-up holiday today, it’s Night On The Town” by flashing that little “there’s something new on the calendar” light on the, well, calendar. XD I made a mental note of that for later and sent Smiler down to meet Marm once Toothy was fed and give him a tune-up so he didn’t suffer any catastrophic explosions –

-->And then I looked over at the wind farm and was like “is every fucking turbine broken AGAIN?!” *shakehead* I promptly sent Smiler and Marm over to go repair them (as Victor was still busy with his song) – then remembered “oh wait, Marm’s ready to get an enhancement level – I should have Smiler make a mechanism so they can upgrade him” and sent Smiler to the robotics bench to do that instead while Marm kept repairing. Because hey, he does need to learn some skills, and Handiness is always a good one! I’d planned for him to get them all while I pushed Victor to complete his song –

But then, midway through Marm’s repair efforts, I realized that poor Victor really had to go to the bathroom. So I reluctantly stopped progress on his classical piece and let him use the toilet...then, since he was up already, had him cast Repairio on a handful of the turbines (and one busted water collector) to speed up the repair process once he was done washing his hands. Because I wanted that damn wind farm working again FASTER, damn it. (Seriously, why do the turbines break so often?? It’s annoying.)

-->Anyway – with all the water collectors and wind turbines back in functional condition, I had Victor go kick a creepy doll by the laundry nook, then prepared to have him start the laundry before heading into the greenhouse...but before I could, I noticed a few things. Namely, that the minifridge in the greenhouse was broken (thanks to the angry gnomes from Harvestfest); both fridges were stinking (thanks to the spoiled food within, as no one in this family has to eat often enough to take care of all the leftovers); AND that the back porch umbrella table was a scorched mess (thanks to a lightning strike I must have missed on Harvestfest). I thus had Victor Repairio the table and the minifridge, then clean the spoiled food out of the kitchen fridge before finally putting the laundry into the washer. With a bluebell to keep it floral fresh. Glad something is fresh in this house!

-->While all that was happening, Smiler finished up their mechanism, and Marm finished repairing the final turbines and scavenging all the trash piles for parts before sticking them in his inventory for later recycling. I thus had Smiler start properly enhancing Marm while Victor took a moment to Scruberoo the puddles in the greenhouse before going to rummage through the trash pile left behind by the gnomes. I myself took a moment to clear up the gnome population while he did that – moving one of the gnomes standing on a rock and the gnome sitting on a rock over to the corners of the greenhouse; sticking the ordinary gnome in the little wheelbarrow out front of the greenhouse; putting the reaper gnome and the alien gnome outside of Toothy’s pen; and just straight up selling the duplicate “standing on a rock” gnome and the two pool gnomes. So these little fuckers are all set until the next Harvestfest. :p

[charliework16]

“what do you think is happening .. right now?”

i feel so seen

[ninapi]

New to this (Akaashi version)

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●

Premise: Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word Count: 4743

Chapter 4: Confrontation

You were currently resting on a very comfy bed. Staring up at the ceiling above you. Akaashi had ordered extra pillows for you to be as comfortable as possible in your physical state. Though, when he said ‘extra pillows’ you assumed he ordered a couple more for you to be able to sit up a bit on the bed or put under your feet. That was not the case clearly, as you were laying in what looked like a pillow fort more than a guest bedroom. The thought made you giggle to yourself, he really went on and bought eight more pillows, new sheets, and a fluffy pink comforter for you to be as comfortable as you were back home. Not like you had any of this back in your apartment, but the concentrated scowl he had on his face while purchasing all these things online for you made your insides curl. He really is cute.

The room itself wasn’t very big but it had all you could need, a queen size bed, a fairly large closet and a bedside table. Not much besides that. The walls were very muted, almost like a gray box, with not a single piece of art hanging from the walls or the regular type of decorations you would normally have in display for a guest bedroom. It looked pretty different to your own apartment, colorful and full of trinkets, it was almost like Akaashi himself. But you were grateful for being there. Thanks to his help you were going to be able to pay for your son’s school without delays and you were being tended by a devilishly handsome guy and an adorable little girl. Seiji was also ecstatic, he got to play whenever he wanted and also got compliments all the time by doing things, he would do normally without getting any, like tying up his shoes by himself or throwing the recyclable trash in the correct container, his ego getting out of control now that he is the big boy of the house.

You were bored beyond despair not being able to move on your own, the tv was in the living room and you didn’t have any paid streaming subscriptions in your phone, so there were limits to what you could do when there was nobody home. But the rest of the gang were packing up everything up from your house to bring it all to Akaashi’s place. There wasn’t much to pack, the room came with all the furniture anyways, so there was no need to hire a moving company. Everything should fit in a few boxes. But you were feeling extremely uneasy for the silliest of reasons. You told Seiji to be careful and not let Akaashi anywhere near your underwear drawer, but will he really listen? He is just five and doesn’t understand the implications of the sinful drawer and this was not what you envisioned be the first time he’d see it. Not like you wanted him to see anything of what’s inside the damn thing, you seriously need to go shopping for new stuff, everything there must be burnt to oblivion.

You tried to distract yourself from your obsessive thoughts that somehow ended up leaving you hot and bothered thinking of the first time he will indeed see your underwear, hopefully on you and after you can actually move, so you started running an inventory of all your things in your head. You were positive the couple of boxes that they’d bring would fit in the closet, it looked pretty big after all. Now that you think about it, everything here looked big. You haven’t had the time to talk with Akaashi about what he does for a living yet, all you know is that he works with books, but somehow you never thought that would make as much money, this house is definitely more than what a single father and a toddler needed.

You couldn’t look around the house much since you weren’t able to walk yet, but everything looked larger than you imagined. A two-level town house, with a big front yard. No plants, nor decorations at all, just like the room you were in. Seiji was sharing the bed with you as usual, Akaashi insisted on getting him a bed and re-do Kimi’s room so they could stay there as he insists it is a very large space and mostly empty, but you refused his offer, you just didn’t want him to go spending more money on you any further. He kept on nagging about it, but you told him that maybe later, when things were more settled, and you have a bit of money to spend. This managed to silence him as he noticed you were thinking about the money issue, not about leaving his house soon. All he wanted was to make you stay there for as long as possible, so making Seiji feel comfortable was probably his best bet, besides he really didn’t want the child sleeping with you every night, so he had to do something about it.

Once they came back you saw you were right, only a couple of cardboard boxes, that’s what your entire life really was. Even Akaashi was surprised, they only took about an hour to pack everything up. Not the happiest of thoughts, but at least you didn’t bother him excessively. When Seiji came into the room to check on you, he gave you an ‘OK’ sign with his tiny hand and attempted a wink, his tongue sticking out in the process, you assumed that meant he protected your integrity as a woman and you should be relieved by it, so why are you sad thinking about how much he looked like Atusmu right now, so silly yet the most adorable face you’ve seen in your entire life. You gotta get yourself together and stop mopping for someone who didn’t love you as much as you did.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

A couple of weeks have passed, and you are now able to drag yourself to the living room without any help or support, staying there for most of your days. You’ve been trying to guide Akaashi on how to prepare simple dishes as you ran out of places to order take-out from already and were starting to get worried about everyone’s health, but it hasn’t been working.

You chuckled with the spoon still in your mouth, “Why is this soup so sweet, Akaashi-san?” he was genuinely confused so he took your spoon and got a taste, like that was something completely normal, totally unbothered. But why was it sweet? He made sure to follow all your instructions carefully, none of the ingredients were sweet. You saw the canister on the island counter and everything made sense now, “Akaashi-san. The blue one is sugar, not salt. The salt is in the yellow canister to the left in the big pantry.” you pointed over to the kitchen, trying not to laugh at his honest mistake, the face he was making reminded you of the first time you guys met, he looked so constipated it was almost funny.

You know his kitchen better than he does and you’ve never set a foot in it.

“Keiji…” he looked at you, more like stared, right into your soul. “Call me Keiji. You live here now, there’s no need for formalities.” You kept on eating your sweetened chicken soup, avoiding his eyes, heat pulsing from your cheeks at his insinuation, of course you knew you had to stop acting like strangers, you live together and was clear as day that both were developing feelings for each other, but it just felt weird, how it all came to be. Like you skipped so many steps. “Sorry, Keiji.” you replied softly, and he was glowing. His facial expression never really changing, still looked like he was constipated and in a lot of pain, but a rare warmth was filling the air around the both of you and you could only assume that it made him happy enough.

“(Y/N) can I ask you something? It’s ok if you don’t want to answer, I’ve just been thinking about it for a while now and thought I would just ask.” you set the now empty bowl on the coffee table, giving him your full attention. “Why do you have to have three jobs? Isn’t it easier on you to just have one?” he was always a blunt one, but you could see he was concerned and trying to go around the delicate subject without upsetting you much. He never really thought about how his comments would affect others, but he’s been told off many times for the way he speaks, and he really didn’t want you to be troubled on his account. “It really isn’t healthy to overwork yourself so much, what if exhaustion causes you to have another accident? We were lucky this time that it wasn’t as bad, but you’ve had to go through a lot with these minor injuries, what if something worse happens?” you know he is right but all you can think of right now is how he said ‘we’ and not ‘you’.

“Well, I couldn’t finish college. I had to start working right away before Seiji was born. There aren’t many good jobs you can get without an actual degree. Since Seiji was still so little and didn’t have anyone to take care of him, I figured working from home was the best option, but I was only able to find a couple with short hours and low salaries, so I was forced to take more than one.”

 You wanted a better life for you and your son but going pass money problems isn’t something you’ve been able to accomplish since then.

“So how about now? You don’t have to pay for rent, you could take a few online classes and finish your degree while you fully recover. Seiji is now in school so he’s out most of the day. I could even talk to some people in my company and get you in in no time, I know a guy from the human resources team and he owes me one.” This is something you would have never considered, you thought this would be your life for the rest there is. Were there even online classes in your major? Probably yes, especially now a days, but- “It’s probably still not enough. College is expensive, even a couple of classes would eat up a big chunk of my current income.” With a sigh, Akaashi dropped the subject and headed to wash the dishes. He needed to do something, and he knew just what that is, but it terrified him it would backfire.

He made a choice though, it had to be done.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

Akaashi was stepping over a good number of boundaries by doing what he was about to do right now. But he felt like he had to do it. He couldn’t just watch you continue suffering and injuring yourself just for money issues, it could be avoided, and it was just unfair.

So here he was, waiting for Bokuto to finish volleyball practice, sipping on some iced coffee, anxiety eating him inside out. Summer already present but he was sure he was sweating so much for other reasons. Never thought of himself as an anxious person until that very moment.

“Hey, hey, hey!! Is that you, AKAASHI!??” Bokuto ran over to him, squeezing him almost to death, causing Akaashi to glare at him like the old times, “Release me, Bokuto-san. I’m not here to see you.” Bokuto held a hand to his chest, signalizing a broken heart and fell to his knees ready to throw a tantrum. But Akaashi ignored him, looking around the gym. “Is Miya here? I need to talk to him.”

Hearing his name, Atsumu popped his head out of the locker room, chasing the sound of a voice he didn’t recognize. He thought it was someone from the news that was supposed to interview him this week, so he goes out with his blinding smile in display “Did you need me for something? I can change back into my uniform if you need some pictures.” His cocky grin and attitude were driving Akaashi to his limits, but he doesn’t show it on his face, he must do this for you and your son’s sake.

“I’m probably not who you think I am. I came here to talk to you about (Y/N) and your son.” Bokuto lets out the loudest gasp anyone has ever heard, “YOU HAVE A SON, TSUMTSUM?????” he blinked at him in disbelief, now clinging to the sleeve of the designer shirt Atsumu was wearing.

He was not expecting to hear your name ever again. There were nights where he wanted to go and look you up in social media, see how you were, but he never did, scared he would find you happy and in love with someone that wasn’t him, maybe in Hawaii with a pineapple in your hand and some heart-shaped glasses, going on with your life, better off without him.

He feels like someone hit him with a baseball bat. On his face.

A son.

He had a son.

No, it’s not possible. He is sure of that, always been sure since the day she mentioned it for the first time.

“Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t have a son.” he got up from his seat, his face lacking any color, he looked like he was going to be sick any second now, but Akaashi held him down hard back onto the seat, fuming at the audacity of the man next to him. “Yes, you do. He is five and his name is Seiji, he looks just like you. Not even you could deny him. (Y/N) is currently living in my house, she’s been struggling for years to feed your son and had an accident recently, so I took her in. She had no one else to look after her.  Her family left her just like you did. And now they need your help. It’s the least you can do, you’ve never been there for them not even in their darkest moments. Be a man for once, Miya.”

His world was suddenly collapsing on his shoulders. Did he really have a son?

“Look, just come with me to pick him up from school, ok?  All you have to do is look at him. Tell me then if he is or not your son.” Akaashi grabbed Atsumu from his shirt, pulling him over to his car, Bokuto tagging along not wanting to miss the ordeal and wishing he had bought the bag of popcorn he saw at the store on his way to practice.

Atsumu was a mess inside, it wasn’t possible, was it? He left you and ran away not even letting Osamu contact you, he still has scars from the whole thing, but he was so embarrassed of having others know the woman he wanted to marry cheated on him. And now this guy he hasn’t seen in years comes and tells him that you’ve been struggling to buy food for his son? Is this his fault? Did you really struggle that hard because he wasn’t there? He can really be an ass sometimes, that was totally unnecessary.

The school was not far from the gym, taking them about twenty minutes to get there. No one dared to speak at all and Atsumu was grateful for that.

As soon as they arrived at the school, the teacher at the gates greets Akaashi, letting him know that Kimi boarded the school transport safely and should be already home. “Oh yeah, I know. Thanks for taking care of my daughter. I’m actually here to pick Seiji up.” he points over with his thumb to the guys behind him “Boys night” he says, trying to distract the teacher of the awkwardness of it all.

She calls Seiji up and the child comes running over to Akaashi with a wide smile on his face.

Atsumu's brain cracks.

He truly looks just like him when he was a child. But that smile, he knew that smile better than anyone, is what made him fall in love with you in the first place. The way you would smile up at him would cheer him up in the worst of days. It was so warm and full of love.

He did have a son.

“Papa, I made something for you today!” Seiji has started calling Akaashi ‘papa’ for lack of a better word. He couldn’t call him sir anymore since they lived together now, and Kimi would call his mom ‘mama’, so he didn’t really think anything out of it. And Akaashi was not going to complain. Since they started living together, he wants nothing more than to father this child as soon as possible. Well, there’s a few things he wants more than that, but he has no time for lewd thoughts right now.

Bokuto squeals at this, running over to the toddler, “AKAASHI! Is he your son too? I thought you only had a daughter!” he pinched Seiji’s adorable looking cheek, as clueless as someone can ever be.

The face he was making just now when Bokuto pinched him. He looked just like Osamu when he used to get on his nerves, Atsumu thought, trying to process everything. But Seiji is the one to speak up first, shaking his head, not wanting to create any type of unwanted situation for Akaashi with his friends, “He is not my real papa, I don’t have one. But he is really kind to me and my mama, so he feels like one.” Poor Akaashi, he was having a meltdown on that very spot, not like anyone would notice of course. But so was Atsumu, for different reasons.

“These guys here are friends of mine from high school, don’t mind them much.” said Akaashi to the child in front of him. “What is it that you made, show me.” He crouched down to his level and Seiji shows him a volleyball keychain, “The assignment was to make a good luck charm for your very own papa and take them to the shrine to get them blessed, so I thought maybe a volleyball would be better than a red square for you. We made them with felt!” Seiji beamed, holding the charm for everyone to see, and Atsumu couldn’t hold it any longer, his real papa was here a few meters away from him, he just didn't know it. Crouching down beside them, Akaashi stands and back away a little to give them space. “That is a fantastically well depicted volleyball. But it would be a waste to give that to someone who doesn’t play the sport anymore. Don’t you think? Could it be possible to bribe you into giving it to me instead? I’m a pro-volleyball player, surely, I need it more than he does, since it was blessed by the volleyball god and all. How does a triple-scoop ice cream cone sounds like?” he smiles at the child, and this for some reason makes Seiji feel weird, he feels like he knows this man but has never seen him before. Maybe it’s because they have similar eyes, he read cats like people with light color eyes because it makes them feel safe, like they were family. That had to be it.

To this Seiji, looks up to Akaashi, who just nods in agreement. “We can just make another one later with mama and Kimi. I’ll take you to the temple for more blessings.”

Seiji has been completely swayed, a triple cone was a hard one to reject and was now handing the charm over to Atsumu and giving him his signature smile, "Here you have it, sir! Hope the blessing works, I asked for it to be the luckiest of all!" Atsumu’s eyes fill with tears, and he just can’t help himself.

Wrapping his arms around the small child, he cried. He was hugging his son.

Bokuto pokes Akaashi on his ribs, pointing at the scene unfolding before them, with a knowing expression. Akaashi can just nod, not liking this at all but knowing he has the right to do so. He wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, and he knows he could have been.

Seiji doesn’t know why but having this old man hugging him and crying all over his hair, makes him cry just as hard.

They really do look like two drops of water; they even make the same face when they cry.

───  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅  ───

The four go into Akaashi’s car. Bokuto wanted to sit at the front with Akaashi, he just misses his friend so much and Akaashi was being, well, Akaashi, not wanting to be pestered by him. But he let the boy sit with his father on the back, eyes constantly checking on the mirror to make sure he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

To his surprise, Atsumu was now teaching Seiji some words, he needed help with his homework if he wanted to have time for the 2-hour special of detective Connan that was playing tonight. “So how do you read this?” Seiji points to a word in his book. “Platypus” says Atsumu, with a very confused expression, “What on earth is a Platypus though?” he was about to pull out his phone to look it up online, but Seiji perks up, he knows the answer to that question. “A platypus is an animal native to Australia. He looks like a duck and a beaver had a baby together, but they are poisonous. Never touch one, ok? NEVER.” Seiji looks up at him with a scary looking glare on his face. He really reminds him of Samu. He bets they would get along really well, but that’s something he took away from them. He could have had a loving father and an uncle that would probably love him more than he ever loved his own brother. He took all of that from Seiji and not just from Seiji, from you as well. “Got it, no touching Australian duckies.” he extends his pinky over to his son and he grabs it right away, sealing their promise. This makes Atsumu think of getting a platypus pet. Would that get him to love him more than he loves Akaashi? Is it even legal to own a platypus? He can’t go to Australia right now; an important game is coming up.

The rest of the ride goes on without incidents, Bokuto almost throwing himself out of the car when they reached the ice cream shop.

Akaashi was going over to help Seiji out, but Atsumu had already picked him up and was currently carrying him over to the counter. He needs to stop this before what he fears the most actually happens.

“You can choose whatever you want, I will buy it for you. Just ask the lovely lady here to give it to you.” he smiles at the old woman on the other side of the counter, probably now in her late seventies, making her flush with his flattery. “Hmmmm, how about chocolate, strawberry and vanilla?” he looked at all the flavors under the glass case, there were at least thirty different flavors to choose from, “Ehhh? Why would you go for the normal flavors? Wouldn’t you want to try something crazy like that ‘triple almond sugar cookie festa?” Atsumu questions his son. “But I’ve never eaten them before, I don’t know what’s in any of them.” Seiji really wanted to try them all out, but he wasn’t the most experienced in the field, ice cream was in limited supplies back home, what if he ruins this chance and gets one that tastes like piss? He couldn’t risk it. “Common, where’s your adventurous spirit?? I’m sure is right here inside of you somewhere.” he tickled his little tummy, making the toddler giggle and bury his face on the crook of his neck. The display of affection was the cutest thing the ice cream lady had seen today, bringing a smile to her face. “Listen to your father, boy. He knows best. How about I give you a sample so you can try it first? If you don’t like it, then we get you the flavors you chose.” Seiji was thinking so hard that he didn’t even notice what she said about Atsumu being his father, he just wanted to try every flavor. But Atsumu felt a sudden sense of pride that she was able to notice the truth of their relationship, and Akaashi felt like he was losing all he had accomplished with Seiji in the last weeks. Without Seiji he has nothing, Miya can definitely snatch your heart back, he’s very aware that you still think about him constantly.

Seiji ended up trying the crazy flavored ice cream, happily eating it on a table outside the shop with Bokuto who’s eating two cones at the same time. “Seiji, would you stay here with uncle Bokuto? I need to talk with my friend here about some boring work-related things.” Bokuto chocked with glee, hearing Akaashi calling him uncle, that has to mean he is important, right? “Leave him to me, AKAASHI! I will hold the fortress.” he nods with new resolution, and Akaashi pulls Atsumu over to another table, far from the others. “Ok so, just to be clear. I’m not letting you go back into (Y/N)’s life.” Atsumu’s heart crashes and breaks into a million pieces. He just met his wonderful son, and he is expecting him to just go back to his normal life? Akaashi continues, “I brought you here not to rekindle your relationship with your long-lost son. (Y/N) can’t pay for his school tuition. She had three part-times to cover their needs but after the accident she can’t really leave the house and has been bedridden for weeks. I want to help her to finish college and get her degree so she can get a decent job and tend to her son properly without dying from exhaustion. You are in the pro-league, I’m sure you can spare a few hundred bucks for your son’s education, even if it’s just for this year while she can get back on her feet.” Atsumu really doesn’t want to hear any of this. He knows he doesn’t deserve another chance, but reality isn’t being nice to him. He knows this is all his fault, you could have had a better life if he would have just stayed and like Akaashi said, be a man. “If you don’t want to give her money, you can just pay directly to the school every month, you know where his school is now-“, Atsumu steps in, not listening to him anymore, “Does (Y/N) know you came to see me?” it’s all he asks and is just above a small whisper. “No, this was my idea, she would have never-“he gets interrupted once more, “Yeah of course not. Let her know I will pay for it and not just for this year. Here’s my number. Let me know whenever he needs something, I will get it for him.” he slides his golden business card over to Akaashi and walks away, not saying good bye to anyone. He has a lot to think about right now.

He just can’t face Seiji again today.

Akaashi goes back to the child, noticing how Bokuto went to clean his sticky hands in the restroom. “Let’s get going, Seiji. Mama must be worried.” he walks over to his side, pointing over to his car, but Seiji stops him, “Wait! Where’s your yellow haired friend? I haven’t thanked him properly yet and wanted to talk to him some more, he said he would help me finish my assignment!” the boy pouts, tears glossing up his honey colored eyes, and Akaashi’s heart breaks completely, is he really missing his dad already? He doesn’t even know he is his dad. “He had to go back to work. Now let’s go.” getting Seiji in the car and securing his seat belt.

His mission was successful but his heart aches a bit too much right now. Seiji stays quiet the entire time, trying to finish his homework by himself, slightly resenting Akaashi for not telling him his friend was leaving.

Bokuto walks out of the restroom, heaving a satisfied sigh, “HEY HEY HEY WHERE’S EVERYONE?”. But Akaashi’s car was nowhere to be seen right now.

They all forgot about him.

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[adrianicsea]

the fact that the gang recycles their trash macdennis almost-kiss is quasi-lost media now is so so sad

[sleepyowlwrites]

not me being fascinated with my own writing

hey, wanna read some stuff from 2017? this is Mercenary Story in its first outing, when it was called Twisted. for reasons. (i don't think there were any reasons.)

I've recycled some of the names from this old wip so I've swapped them all out with their new versions

The front door opened and Shar stumbled inside, scowling as fierce as a baby bear trying to prove he was top cub to a gang much bigger bears. "I'm fine," he said as soon as Jorand saw him.

hehe

The edges of Rasterpool were far more silent than the center. Everything seemed more dead, and certainly more dusty. All the buildings were covered in sandy, rust-colored dirt, the only movement coming from when the wind descended and blew the dust into new patterns on the old streets. This was bug territory. Everything was broken. Everything was dead. Except maybe a couple of mercenaries on assignment.

I loved describing cities six years ago and I still do now

Naki was always strangely grateful that his job, while hard and usually dangerous, paid well enough to him clothed and sated. He remembered his childhood, unlike Shar, who'd come to them with no background or family. In Naymoor, everyone lived in big family groups, but there were always poor around. Buzzards, they were called there, the ones who lived off of what was left behind. It was the same anywhere, and especially in this broken city. Everybody climbed over everybody else to survive. Dishonesty was the best policy and they all expected murder from each other.

Innocence was a foreign concept, yet Shar had come to them with his almost fully intact. It was a shame they'd had to drive it out of him, though it wasn't totally gone yet. It was probably why he was always getting into trouble. Naki almost envied him.

ah yes, the envy of innocence, that old chestnut

When they heard a dull bang half a kilometer from the house, Naki dropped the trigger in a trash heap and sighed in satisfaction. Eshku eyed him with something akin to distaste. "Must you take so much joy in destruction?"

"I must," Naki grinned back at him. "It's the little things in life, Eshku. Gotta take joy where we can."

"Yeah." Eshku sighed too, a more weary sound. "We take it where we can."

I dunno what my original plan for this flavor of fantasy was, but it certainly sounds a lot more fullmetal alchemist than what I remember

Of all the members of their little gang, Tav was the most confusing to Shar. He knew he was psychic, but it had never been fully explained what that meant. It always seemed like he could read Shar's mind, but not the others. Maybe his brain was more open, since he had a lot less memories to go by.

But it wasn't just the psychic thing. Tav knew a lot of things. He knew about constellations. He could identify any flower or tree and found insects fascinating. He knew about imports and exports and when all the harvests happened. He knew when it was going to rain and when someone was lying. He spoke the common language, like they all did, and was familiar with all three lower cast dialects of Rasterpool, but Shar had heard him speaking Tarisian and Namoor on more than one occasion. According to Embur, he picked up both of them simply by hearing both spoken in the markets, but that made no sense to Shar. How could he learn a language if he'd had nothing to compare it to?

Tav was a mystery, and though they weren't surprised by his odd behaviors, it seemed like the rest thought of him in this way as well.

Tav was a delight in the old version too

shamelessly tagging people I want to read this @akindofmagictoo @kaiusvnoir @ettawritesnstudies @drippingmoon @avrablake @blind-the-winds