#the furrow to tk’s brow as he thinks about how close he was to never seeing carlos again

[guardian-angle22]

TK/Carlos + Touch

↳ 5.03 Cl2

[ravens-words]

breathe again

《4x04 Coda》

"TK?" Carlos slurred, and he was instantly on alert, scooting closer to him. Carlos, with a great deal of effort, picked up his head from where it lay on his father's shoulder and looked at him with unfocused eyes.

He put a hand on the back of his neck, supporting him. "I'm here, baby."

"Good," he muttered, letting his head fall back in his hold.

TK pressed a kiss to the top of his head, eyes closed as he breathed him in. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into his hair, letting out a shuddering breath. "I was so worried."

Carlos nodded, and TK felt the movement rather than saw it. "I saw you." TK pulled him close, let his head rest on his chest. They breathed, slow and steady. Together. . "How are you feeling, son?"

Carlos looked up from his phone, smiling softly at his father. He took the offered glass of water, but didn't drink. "Carlos?"

"Hmm?"

Gabriel pursed his lips. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "You were kidnapped by a serial killer," he told him incredulously, his voice shaking just a little, "and you died. You're not fine."

"Then why did you ask, dad?"

He sighed. "I was hoping for the truth."

"The truth is, I'm not fine. I keep seeing them every time I close my eyes, and I keep thinking, if-" he trailed off, biting his lip.

"If?"

"If she hadn't untied me, if you guys had been just one minute late, I'd be dead."

His father looked away, but not before Carlos saw the tears in his eyes. "We weren't," he told him firmly after a few seconds, "and you are very much alive."

"Thanks to you and TK."

His father smiled. "You should have seen him, son," he muttered, "he nearly bit the detective's head off, more than once," he told him, eyes alight with fondness, "he's also the one who saw the connection to Daryl."

Carlos looked down, smiling slightly. "Speaking of TK, where is he?" He asked anxiously.

"In the cafeteria, with Iris. He seems to have taken it well? The news about your marriage."

Carlos nodded. "Too well."

"What's going on, Mijo?"

Carlos wasn't used to this. He never used to talk to his father about his relationships, or things that bothered him for that matter, but- "When Iris didn't sign the divorce papers right away, TK went to talk to her. The day after that, she went missing."

His father sat back in the chair and nodded. "And you thought it was his fault."

He closed his eyes. "I hurt him, and we didn't get the chance to talk about it."

"Carlos," he waited until their eyes met, "that boy loves you, and you love him. As long as that holds true, you can fix anything."

There was a faint knock on the door, and he looked up to see TK standing there, a cup of coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. He looked tired, but happy, and Carlos found himself smiling at the sight of him. His father stood up. "I'm going to go check on your mother." Carlos nodded. "Talk to him," he whispered.

Carlos nodded again.

TK wordlessly handed his father the paper bag as he passed him. Gabriel smiled, squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you, son."

"You're welcome," his fiancé responded. Once his father left, TK came in, and took his place by the bed. He took Carlos' hand in his and lifted it up to his lips. The kiss he placed there was light, but lingering, and Carlos fought back the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

TK's confusion was plain on his face as his brows furrowed. "What? Why are you sorry?"

"TK, I-" he stooped, took a breath, tried to figure out where to start. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Iris sooner-"

"Carlos-"

"Let me finish, please, TK," he pleaded with him. TK nodded.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to go talk to her, and I'm sorry that I let you think her going missing was your fault," he blurted out, "God, the way I treated you after-"

"Carlos," he cut him off firmly, "Carlos, baby, none of that matters."

"It does. And you're gonna brush it off now because I almost died and-"

"It doesn't matter," TK exclaimed, chest heaving and eyes glistening, "it doesn't matter, because you didn't almost die, you did die. For two minutes, you were dead and I had to-" his breath hitched, "I had to-"

"TK," he said softly, soothingly, extending a hand out to him, "come here."

He put his shaking hand in Carlos' and Carlos gripped it tight, used it to pull him closer. "Come here."

TK sat on the edge of the bed, let Carlos tug him into him, and TK all but collapsed into his arms. Carlos rocked them gently, one hand around TK's shoulders, the other running through his hair. “I love you.”

The first sob took him by surprise, but he only tightened his hold on him. TK stiffened, obviously trying to hold back the tears, so Carlos gently pushed him away, just far enough so he could look at him. "TK," he said calmly, heart breaking at the sight of his red rimmed green eyes, "baby?"

"Yeah," he managed to say.

"It's okay," he said simply, holding his face between his hands. He screwed his eyes shut tightly, and Carlos pulled him back into his arms, pressing kisses to his neck, to the side of his face, to his hair. "Breathe," Carlos whispered, again and again.

So TK did, and Carlos breathed with him.

[sunshineacd]

here's more from the fic now known as so carelessly close to the edge (I know, I'm surprised to have a title this early on in the process as well). anyway, hope you enjoy <3

TK wakes up, and for a moment, he doesn’t know where he is. The room around him is warm, the sun shining through the small break of the curtains. He stares at the ceiling as his body and mind slowly awaken as well before his gaze wanders, taking in the appearance of the room. TK freezes, his tired brain coming to the conclusion that he is in fact in Carlos’ room, and as he slowly looks to the side, he sure enough finds Carlos laying fast asleep next to him. 

Oh God. 

For a beat, he’s caught up in how peaceful Carlos looks. He’s on his stomach, the side of his face smushed into the pillow, quiet snores escaping through his slightly parted lips. TK stares, unable to pull his gaze away because maybe he wants to revel in this for as long as he can. Because this, this won’t ever happen again. They stumbled last night. He’s not sure how or why. He doesn’t even remember falling asleep. But he knows this is  not what they had agreed on. However, they had talked a lot last night, more than they ever have. That was also something completely out of the realm of what they have been doing. It's possible that none of this makes sense to him anymore. 

Carlos stirs suddenly, and TK wants to run. But he doesn’t have time to really think about because Carlos’ eyes flutter open, and for a moment, he’s oblivious to what is happening. But soon, his gaze finds TK and his brow furrows. 

“TK? What —” He doesn’t get to finish the question because he yawns and slowly rises to a sitting position. 

“I have no idea.” TK says. He doesn’t even know if it’s a correct answer to the question Carlos was going to ask. “I was just leaving, don’t worry.” 

He leans down to grab his boxers and jeans from the floor and begins the task of getting dressed. He can feel Carlos’ eyes on him as he moves about, and he feels the heat rush up his spine, a blush surely visible. He tries his hardest to shake it off as he plucks his shirt from where it’s hanging on the headboard. 

“You’re just going to leave?” Carlos asks from where he still remains on the bed. 

TK can hear something within Carlos’ voice, but he can’t quite place it. “Yeah, I think we’ve pushed this far enough, don’t you think?” 

Carlos is silent for a moment, and when he speaks, he doesn’t answer TK’s question. “We both have the day off. Unless you have something else to do, there’s no rush to leave. I could order breakfast and coffee from the cafe down the street.” 

TK turns to look at him. “You want to have breakfast? With me? Come on, Carlos. Be serious.” 

Carlos rolls his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he moves across the bed towards TK. He kneels in front of him and wraps his arms around TK’s neck. “I am being serious. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you accepted breakfast from me."

“There’s no one to tell. No one knows about us.” TK says matter-of-factly. 

“And no one ever will,” Carlos says, echoing what they had agreed with one another the first time they had ever slept together. Carlos leans forwards to kiss TK, soft for a moment until TK begins to kiss back, and then it doesn’t take long for it to deepen. When they pull away for air, Carlos zeroes in on TK’s shirt, beginning to undo the buttons that TK had just worked to do up. “Besides, we have all day, think about how much we can get accomplished in that time.” 

A shiver runs through TK as Carlos begins to press kisses to his jaw and down his neck. He would love nothing more to spend a whole day with Carlos, but he still has a front to maintain. There were supposed to be no feelings, but here he is, ready to drop back down into Carlos’ bed and never leave. 

TK feels a smile pull at his lips. “Well, you know, I tend to take a shower first thing in the morning.” 

Carlos’ kisses seize, and his gaze finds TK’s, a smirk appearing. “That can still be arranged.”

[blueathens]

Normality - Agape

                   ACT THREE, CHAPTER 1

SONG: Look After You by The Fray QUOTE: “You and Eddie have each other numbers?”

A/N: Not read through or edited - also been written in a rush

Previous || Next

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

“So why have you never introduce me to Buck before?” Kit curiously asked as they awaited for him to arrive at his surprise party.

Kasey shrugs.

“He’s cute,” he shyly mutters before lifting his cup towards his lips. “Do you know if he be into…me?”

Kasey turns her head to face Kit, brows furrowed before they shoot right up, and her eyes widen when she realised what he meant. “You like Buck!” She whispered loudly, face scrunching when Kit slapped the back of her head with his free hand whilst throwing her an angry glare.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Kasey supresses her smile before turning her head to look elsewhere, “I don’t think we ever talked about it,” when really they did, a few months after Buck joined, he admitted that he likes both woman and guys, but he wasn’t ready to tell anyone that yet, and Kasey promised to keep it a secret.

“Oh.”

Kasey places a comforting hand on his back and rubs it gently.

“Hey, come on, he’s here,” Hen utters to the group outside and the two friends looked at one another before heading inside Athena and Bobby’s house.

“Hey,” Kit bumps his shoulder against Kasey as he bends down slightly to whisper in her ear, “have you told Eddie about – oh, I’ll take that as a no by the look you’re giving me.” Kit shuffled away as his eyes went to look at the stairs by the front door, Kasey too turned to face that way after throwing one more glare to the side of Kit’s face.

“Oh, I’m so glad you guys were able to come,” Athena greeted at the front door.

“Thank you for having us over.” Buck laughs as he and Maddie both walk through the front door, and with a curious look from the corner of her eye she noticed a faint blush on Kit’s cheeks.

She rolls her eyes, “man, you’re down bad for this loser.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kit hisses back.

“Surprise!” Everyone screamed as the trio got halfway down the stairs. Buck jumps back in shock, hand over his heart, before his usual smile returned back to his face.

Buck hugged Eddie first, then Kit, then finally Kasey.

His hand rubs the top of her head and her face scrunches up as he messes up her perfectly done hair, before he brings her close to his chest, arms wrapping around her as he sways them both. “How were you able to keep this a secret from me?”

“Well unlike you, I can keep secrets.” Kasey teased back as she pulls herself away from the hug she was sharing with Buck.

Now standing against a wall, Eddie and Kasey stands shoulder-to-shoulder, their hands brushing together between the small gap between them, whilst their other hands held their drinks.

“TK still coming down?”

“Think he said his plane lands at 8am tomorrow, but he said he’s gonna stay at a hotel tomorrow because I’ll be working, then after tomorrow I’ve got a few days off.”

“And where are you guys staying?” Eddie suspiciously question.

“I, er,” Kasey hesitates, “my place obviously.”

Eddie hums, “you sure about that? Because I went over to your place the other day to drop something off for you, but Ms Matthews said you are hardly ever there.”

Kasey freezes.

“Well, I – Buck?!” Eddie turned to look over at Buck as he begins to cough more furiously, Kasey was already placing her drink down and heading towards Bobby and Buck, Eddie following closely behind.

But before either of them could reach him, he fell to the ground with blood coming out from his mouth.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“Buck?” Kasey called out loudly through the dark and quiet apartment after she opened his door with the spare key Buck handed to her when he got this place.

Kasey was finally on a few daybreak and on the way to pick TK up, she decided to come and see Buck since it’s been a few days after being released from the hospital and Bobby already warned Kasey on how Buck isn’t happy that he wasn’t allowed to come back yet.

It felt odd not hearing any music in his apartment as there was always some form of sound happening around Buck, he hated the silence, found it boring, so he always needed sound around him. But there was no sounds anywhere within the apartment.

Kasey frowned as she walked up the stairs to the loft, only to see the tall man that she could proudly call her best friend was in bed with many covers on top of him.

“Evan,” Kasey tried as she sat down onto the edge of the mattress and gave Buck’s thigh a soft tap to which he groaned out.

He sounded exhausted and Kasey frown deepened at that.

“Buck, Bobby told me about the hospital and you wanting to come back to work,” Kasey mutters as her hand stayed on Buck’s thigh in an act of comfort whilst he stayed under the covers. “But you must know that these things we got to be patient for and build ourselves up for.”

“I already did though.” Buck stated, his voice rough with sleep. He peered out from the covers to look at his best friend. “I did, I was doing well – I was getting better.” His face was ghostly pale and Kasey took that chance to lean forwards and touch the bottom of the lamp on the beside table, only touching it once so the light wasn’t so harsh. The bags under his eyes looked darker than when she saw him in the hospital after the fall in Athena’s garden. They were even swollen, and Kasey presumed he had been crying not that long ago. “I am better, you know I am Kas, I’m better, right?”

Kasey’s body froze at the sound of his voice and the words he spoke, and for some reason it took her back to when TK had his first relapse. It was the same words, him saying he was better and asking her if she believes it’s true too.

But those times were two very different experiences, but it still made Kasey’s heart drop.

“I thought you were.”

Those were the same words she said to TK those years ago and now she’s repeating them to her best friend who didn’t seem himself anymore.

“But you still need some more time to heal – to let your body heal – and that’s okay, Buck, it’s okay to take some time away just to heal…a fire truck fell on you, and you aren’t going to get better just like that, it takes time and that’s okay. And the second you’re fully cleared you can come back, you know you can come bac–”

“Even you don’t believe I’m not better.” He scoffs with his dry voice. “But I am and I’m ready to work again, Kas.”

“You don’t look it, Buck,” Kasey softly says. “You seem tired.”

“You work when you’re tired,” he said pointedly as he raised an eyebrow.

“That’s,” she hesitates, “not sleeping well and being tired from an injury is very different.” Buck’s eyes flicked down to the blankets covering his entire body, hiding any evidence that he was injured, that he wasn’t okay really – except his face showed it all to Kasey. “If you went back to work now you will get worst. You have to take these things day by day.”

Kasey sighs.

“Have you spoken to anyone since Bobby?” Buck shakes his head. “So you’ve been alone in this dark apartment for these last couple of days?” Kasey looks around the slightly lit room to see his phone on the other side of the room. “Guess that’s why you weren’t answering anyone’s messages or calls.”

Kasey looks around the room more not noticing any dirty plates or cups and it perked a question within Kasey as she knew that people who feel down wouldn’t be in the mood to do chores such as cleaning up and sometimes not even taking care of themselves. “Have you eaten much?”

“I’m not that hungry.” He admits as he avoids Kasey’s eyes. “The meds make me feel sick.”

“I’ll make something easy for you,” Kasey smiles. “You might need something in your stomach.”

“Don’t you have to pick up TK?”

“He can wait, you need me right now.”

Buck smiles to himself as he watches Kasey go down the stairs and turn on some lights before beginning to make some noise within the house by pulling out pots and pans from his cupboards. He pulls himself up, so he was propped against his headboard.

He wanted to ask Kasey how easy it can be addicted to pills, not that he wants to be, he just…he fears that he’s taking to many medications, and it will soon make him addicted. He knew Kasey would have idea due to her past, but he was afraid that it would trigger something, make her remember things she shouldn’t.

He didn’t want to hurt her; she was getting better.

But he was scared that these medications will make him an addict, he’s heard of stories where people fall dependent of the medications doctors prescribe after an injury, how they fall into that addiction accidently as they just wanted to numb the pain a little more.

Even when he was younger he noticed how people around him fell into addictions, whether that was with drugs, alcohol, sex, foods, or cigarettes. He always noticed how diluted or bloodshot their eyes were, and Buck saw his very own red and tired eyes in the glass of his phone and the camera, he threw his phone across the room from fear that this was the beginning of an addiction.

He never once thought he was just tired or sad or not actually okay, he immediately thought it was the drugs that made him look not okay even though they were helping with the pain in his body. He didn’t even realise he was hungry until he heard Kasey begin to cook.

He wondered, for some reason he wondered that if Kasey didn’t come today he would have become dependent on his medications.

Without Kasey coming, Buck wasn’t going to get up and start to look after himself, he was just going to have a pill whenever he felt slightly in pain from something, even if it wasn’t his leg that was hurting.

Buck didn’t want to fall apart, he knew how horrible it felt from the small stories Kasey has mentioned from her and TK’s past, he knew how horrible it was from some stories Bobby told and the stories Hen told about her ex and how it made her as a witness to that felt.

Buck didn’t want to be addicted, but he wondered if he already was because he was so dependent on his best friend, not in an unhealthy way, but in the way that she’s just there holding his hand, taking these things step by step, she doesn’t pull him out of the dark, instead she guides him out from his darkness with comforting words of honesty.

Buck was addicted to Kasey as he needed her.

If she ever walked away from this friendship, this family, he knew he wouldn’t be able to survive.

He thinks maybe no one would be able to since Kasey was the team’s safety net, the glue, the person you can just count on.

Maybe the entire team was just addicted to Kasey Strand, and Buck thinks this is the only addiction he will allow himself to have.

There was no pain with this drug, no suffering, no side effects, no nothing. Instead it felt hopeful.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“How’s Buck doing?” TK questioned as he sat in front of his sister at a café by the beach, next to some wooden pier that had games running across it.

“Not liking the fact he can’t come back to work yet,” Kasey shrugged as she cut into her steak. “We all want him to come back, but we don’t want him working if it’s just going to make him worst. I just wish he knew that he has to allow his body to fully heal before doing anything extreme like saving lives again.” Kasey sighs as she shakes his head. “Bobby failed to mention though that Buck has already said he was quitting.”

“Oh?” TK raised his brows. “And do what?”

“I don’t know, I just want him to rest and get better.”

“Buck’s not going to do that,” TK points out. “Neither would you.”

Kasey stayed quiet as she dug into her late lunch.

“Why haven’t you been living in your apartment Kas?”

“Huh?”

How does he know this?

“Eddie called me when he found out, asking me if I knew,” he tilts his head slightly to try and read his sister’s face, “I obviously didn’t.”

“You and Eddie have each other numbers?”

“To look out for you.”

“Wow,” Kasey sarcastically draws out, “didn’t know I had secret babysitting agents.”

TK decided to ignore her comment. “Are you living in your car again?”

The last time she was sleeping in a car was whenever her and Gwen got into bad fights or she was too fucked up with drugs to want to go home to face either Owen, Gwen, Enzo, or TK.

“I’m trying to look for a new place,” Kasey simply says, “just been to busy to do anything with the looking.”

“Or are you holding it off because you think one day you be ready to live there again despite what happened?”

“Other people do it.”

“You shouldn’t compare your trauma with others, your trauma is your own, and it’s okay if you can’t live there, Kasey.”

“But I know I will be–” Kasey stops when she hears mutters around her. She turns her head to look around before stopping at the sight of the sea. Her face drops.

The water has fallen suddenly.

“Kasey? What is it?” He questions, the inner of his brows drawing closer together at the look of sudden shock and fear on her face. Hesitantly, he turns his head to look out to sea to see a abnormally large way heading this way.

“TK,” Kasey breaths. “Run.”

[reyescarlos]

i'm here and i'm yours || a tarlos fic

summary: Newly discharged from the hospital, TK is eager to spend his first official night in his new home with Carlos. An honest late night conversation leads to them reuniting in more ways than one.

[3x04 coda]

word count: 4.7k || rated: e || read on ao3

No more wrong turns oh I've had it with Mistakes, misplaced second chances and Next time I'll try so much harder I'm starting to see what I've done to me and you

There are about a hundred things TK’s glad to be rid of since he was given the all-clear to be discharged.

For starters, it feels good not to be confined to a sterile hospital room. From the stark white walls to the stiff mattress he’d been assigned, TK is thankful to be in a comfortable bed for a change.

Carlos had taken actual notes from Dr. Patel as she advised on what treatment would look like upon TK’s release from the hospital. It hadn’t come as a surprise. Carlos is, without a doubt, one of the most meticulous people he’s ever met in his life. As Dr. Patel spoke, he’d asked follow-up questions and for clarity on terms he didn’t understand.

She answered them all with a soft smile on her face and TK could tell she was endeared to him.

“You’ve got a good one,” she’d said to TK.

He could only take Carlos’ hand in his and agree.

“I have the best one.”

So much of the last few days have been a blur, made up of visits from the 126, catching up on all he’s missed and resting.  Through it all, Carlos has been right by his side.

As they lie together now in their bed, unwinding for the evening, TK’s mind plays a montage of the road that led to this moment.

Their first meeting that one rainy, chaotic night. An invitation to dance at a local dive bar.

There was no way to know that one yeah would be the turning point, the first link in the subsequent chain of events that landed him in this beautiful home with the man of his dreams.

“You’re so quiet. What are you thinking?” Carlos asks.

TK traces the tips of his fingers along Carlos’ jaw, relearning the contours of his face. To think he’d willingly deprived himself of this is inconceivable.

“I made such a mess of us,” he thinks aloud. “I almost ruined us completely.”

Carlos wraps an arm around his middle and comes in close to his side. TK grips his bicep, letting himself bask in the warmth and familiarity of Carlos’ body on his.

“Stop. All that matters now is that you’re safe. You’re home,” Carlos says against the crook of his neck.

TK closes his eyes, heart fluttering at the soft press of Carlos’ lips against his pulse point. God, he’s missed this. How he’s managed to go all these months without so much as a graze of Carlos’ skin against his own, he’ll never know. It’s dizzying and distracting. Coupled with his kind words, it's almost enough to get lost in.

But he can’t accept Carlos’ statement. Not this time.

It’d be all too easy to take the out being given to him. He has in the past, but if this recent hospital stint has taught him anything, it’s that additional chances are precious things. They aren’t meant to be wasted.

TK moves back a little and frames Carlos’ face, forcing his gaze. Carlos’ brows furrow, skin pinching in the center between them. TK smooths the pad of his thumb gently there until Carlos relaxes.

“What matters is that you know how much I love you and just how sorry I am. For all of this,” TK counters.

Carlos opens his mouth but doesn’t say anything, and TK sighs softly to himself in relief.

“I shouldn’t have walked out on you…again.”

The word leaves a nasty aftertaste in his mouth, but he can’t deny it isn’t the first time this has happened. He can only make amends and ensure it’ll be the last.

Carlos’ face grows serious, but he remains quiet and continues to give TK the floor to speak.

“I panicked. It’s no excuse, and I know that now. Hell, I knew it then.”

“What exactly made you panic? Did I come on too strong?”

TK thinks for a moment.

“It was a big gesture. A kind one. Romantic even.”

“But it scared you.” It’s not a question, nor does it feel like a judgment.

TK sits with it a second. His past has done such a number on him.

“I’m not scared of us taking the next steps in our relationship. That’s the dream,” TK says. “But I want things to be equal between us. That’s the whole point of a partnership. I know you were thinking of me when you put my name down, but at the same time, it kinda felt like you weren’t.”

He bites back on his lower lip, nervous he’s said too much. But the look of understanding in Carlos’ eyes tells him his words are being fully received.

“I should have done a better job considering that. I didn’t mean to make you feel cornered or like I was trying to lord something over you,” Carlos replies. “All the same, I should have factored in all the different ways it could have made you feel, including negative reactions. I’m sorry.”

TK nods once.

“It’s okay. I know you had good intentions. In a way, that’s sort of what ultimately spooked me, I guess. I don’t know. Things are just so good with us. Effortless. I can’t believe my own luck sometimes, and it just feels like I’m on borrowed time here.”

Saying all his fears aloud is both cathartic and terrifying, but TK knows he can trust Carlos with his thoughts.

“Somewhere along the line, it just got easier to be the guy that walks away instead of being the one who’s left behind,” he says.

He knows the exact moment in time when he stopped himself. It all went back to that night in New York City. It changed everything. Until fairly recently, he was the kind of person who made big gestures all on his own. Who wore his big heart like a badge of honor. His failed relationship broke something inside of him that TK has been fighting tooth and nail to mend ever since.

In so many ways, Carlos has made him feel safe enough to let his guard down and try again. But there is only so much Carlos can do. TK knows this change has to come from within.

“That’s not fair to you,” TK continues. “I get so scared of having everything I’ve ever wanted…all the things I didn’t think I’d actually get to have…that I just run, and I hate that. Being able to call a place like this home and to own it with you, it just felt too good to be true, like I’d eventually find a way to screw it up so…,” he trails off.

TK swallows hard and pushes past the urge to shut down. That’s what got them into this mess in the first place.

“I can’t keep hurting us. Hurting you especially,” TK says. “I don’t want to be that guy. All I want is for you to be happy and to feel safe with me…to feel like I do with you.”

Carlos smiles a bit, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.

“I’m made of strong stuff.”

“You shouldn’t have to be, though, Carlos, especially when it comes to us. You shouldn’t have to work so hard,” TK says quietly, looking down. “You shouldn’t have to…I don’t know, be on edge all the time thinking this is going to be taken away from you. I want to know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. You mean everything to me. I need you to hear it, believe it, and know it.”

Carlos appears to be holding his breath as he stares at him. TK sighs softly to himself and takes a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again.

“I think a part of me is worried this whole thing is just some crazy dream that I’m gonna wake up from. And I can’t help but wonder if I even deserve it, this life with you, after all this time.”

He’s bound to run out of chances one day. TK thinks it best just to accept this new one he’s been given and make it last. No more gambling with his future.

“You deserve to be happy, TK. You deserve to be loved. It’s really that simple. My heart picked yours. That’s all there is to it.”

TK searches his face, unable to resist the urge to touch him again. His hand falls lightly to the base of Carlos' neck.

“You’re truly perfect.”

Carlos shakes his head at once.

“No. I’m definitely not. These past few months, I haven’t been myself at all. But I’ve been trying to get back to the person I was. This breakup changed us. There’s no getting around that,” he says earnestly.

TK frowns and looks down, shame seeping in.

“But change isn’t always a bad thing,” Carlos continues. “Without it, we wouldn’t grow.”

TK looks up at him then, stares into those eyes he’d spent the last few months almost haunted by in his memories. The warmth he finds in them now takes the breath out of his lungs. There’s no doubt, not one single hint of confusion as to whether or not this man still loves him unconditionally.

To be loved by Carlos Reyes is far too great a gift to waste.

“I want us to grow together,” TK says. “If I’m lucky, maybe we could grow old together.”

Carlos’ eyes spark at the sentiment, and TK can feel his face flush instantly.

“I like the way you think. I kinda had the same idea in mind.”

TK smiles at this, but he’s struck for a moment, his thoughts circling back to Carlos’ words from before.

“What did you mean when you said you weren’t yourself?”

Carlos’ whole demeanor changes and TK wonders if he’s somehow pushed too far with what he thought was an innocuous question. Something in Carlos’ eyes grows distant, and TK just wants to reach into his soul to bring back the joy that was in his eyes mere moments ago.

Carlos sits up, and TK mirrors him, his back resting against the pillows. He doesn’t move an inch, just waits for Carlos to piece his thoughts together.

But after a few moments, TK starts to get antsy when Carlos bites back on his lower lip and doesn’t say anything.

He reaches out a hand and places it gently on Carlos’ knee. They both look down at where they’re touching. Since he’d opened his eyes, the urge to reach out for Carlos was reflexive. His touch is a welcomed thing now, but it still feels surreal after going months without.

“You can tell me, Carlos. I need to know what it was like for you. Please?”

As much as TK appreciates Carlos’ impulse to protect him, he has to know the whole truth, the entire scope of what he left Carlos to wade through on his own.

TK has vague memories from his coma, hearing Carlos’ voice air out grievances. He isn’t sure if any of that is even real.

Carlos licks his lips and slowly nods.

“I kind of shut down and buried my head in work and closed myself off from people. Honestly, it was a bit depressing living here alone. Coming home to an empty place, falling asleep by myself, and waking up just to do it all over again. It wasn’t anything like what I pictured this place to be. I felt like a ghost.”

Carlos rubs at his jaw.

“I was so mad at you. I hated that feeling, but it was hard to shake. I thought we were past that point of you shutting me out. We’d made so much progress, and then suddenly, it was like we were back to square one.

“And I understand now, I do,” Carlos amends. “I just wish we could have talked about it then. I wish you would have picked up the phone even once before I learned to stop calling. I wish you would have let me in because we were always meant to be a team.”

Carlos stops then and takes a few deep breaths. He looks away to his left, staring at nothing in particular. TK studies his profile, watching how the muscle in the corner of his jaw flexes. It’s a telltale sign he’s fighting back tears. The guilt eats TK up, but he endures.

“I didn’t even tell my parents we broke up,” Carlos says quietly.

Of all the things TK could have pictured Carlos saying, this didn’t even rank.

“What?”

TK hadn’t gone into detail with his parents, much like with his friends, but he’d at least gotten the words out.

“Why not?” he presses.

When he looks over again, Carlos’ eyes are wet, and TK feels his heart sink at the sight. Carlos blinks his tears away and sighs.

���Different reasons. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and honestly? So terrified of letting them down. This is the first relationship I shared with them. Not only did I let them see it, but they were a part of it, too. They got to meet you and love you just as much as me. They were on board for us completely. I never thought that could actually ever happen. I couldn’t look them in the eyes and tell them I drove you away.”

TK leans forward and presses his forehead against Carlos’ and gently cards his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

There’s a slight tremor in Carlos’ body; a tension TK works to soothe away with each stroke of his fingers.

“I’m so sorry. Baby, I’m so, so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Carlos whispers. “I shouldn’t have sprung this loft on you. That was way too much. Everything was going perfectly for us until then.”

Carlos sighs softly, and TK can feel his boyfriend’s body relaxing more and more at his touch.

“This time away from you has been hard,” Carlos continues. “But it did give me space to think and to see that I shouldn’t have made that kind of decision for you. I never want to take away your voice. I think we both could work on communicating better.”

TK closes his eyes and breathes him in.

“It's a lesson learned for us. I should have spoken up instead of just bailing. But we’re good now. Better than that, even. I know we are. We’ve got this second chance, and it’s all we’ll ever need.”

TK feels the gentle puff of air that falls from Carlos’ lips as he sighs in relief. He doesn’t say anything just then, but he doesn’t need to. They remain like that for a few moments, heads pressed together as TK’s fingers continue to gently work through Carlos’ hair.

It’s nice to simply exist in a moment with him, relishing in the knowledge that this is, in fact, all real and his.

“My mom knows now, at least.” Carlos says, breaking the silence and pulling back to look at him fully.

TK grimaces to himself and lowers his hand, letting it outline the curve of Carlos’ shoulder and down his arm.

“She must totally hate me.”

Carlos laughs. “That’s a strong word, and an inaccurate one at that, but…she may or may not have promised some few choice words next time she sees you.”

TK’s lips form into a half-smile.

“That’s fair. I think I’ve earned her wrath.”

Carlos leans in and kisses the tip of his nose.

“If it gets to be too much, just remind her you’re on the mend from a coma after rescuing a child. That ought to soften her up a bit,” Carlos muses.

“Ah, the coma card. I know it well. I've gotten some mileage out of that one before.”

Carlos laughs heartily and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, no more hospital stays for you. No more comas, concussions, GSWs, none of it,” Carlos rattles off on his fingers.

“Hearing it lumped together like that, it’s a wonder I’m still alive.”

Carlos’ smile fades a bit, his eyes growing a tad distant.

“I’m so grateful that you are.”

TK can see just how haunted Carlos is from this most recent stint in the hospital and how terrified Carlos must have been of almost losing him for good. What a strange situation that must have been, given their status at the time.

Before he can say anything in reassurance to ease his mind, Carlos leans in and kisses TK so deeply it erases all thoughts from his head and steals the breath from his lungs.

TK matches his fervor, his hands cupping the smooth expanse of Carlos’ cheeks. His heart pounds as Carlos’ fingers comb through his hair. He’s everywhere at once, and TK can’t get enough.

Yours, yours, yours, he telegraphs with each kiss to Carlos’ mouth, face, and neck.

Carlos settles on top of him, and TK sighs softly to himself as his boyfriend zeroes in on his neck, sucking his skin gently.

He writhes against the mattress, feeling his cock harden with each brush of Carlos’ tongue on his skin.

TK would love to say the months-long absence from each other is the culprit for making him come undone this easily, but if he’s honest, this is hardly anything new. He’s long since accepted the fact that he will always be weak when it comes to Carlos.

TK reaches down between them and pulls up his own shirt, moving back just enough to take it off entirely before kissing Carlos yet again.

Months apart have done nothing more but heighten this experience now. Have Carlos’ lips always been this soft? His taste this intoxicating? His touch this deliberate? TK feels desperate for it all and then some.

His hands reach for Carlos’ waist. He pulls him in closer and thrusts against him, grinding down to let Carlos know just how badly he wants him.

Carlos swears softly under his breath, his resolve clearly slipping too.

“Are you sure?” Carlos asks.

TK isn’t sure if it’s in reference to him being on the mend or this being their official first night together in their home. Regardless, TK’s answer is the same.

“It’s one of the many things I’ve missed these last few months. I’m sure.”

He takes hold of Carlos’ hand and settles it right on top of his heart. Carlos’ palm is so warm against his skin, TK can practically feel the heat of it seeping into him like rays of sunshine. It lights him up to be touched like this. It catches him off guard at once to see the tears that spring to Carlos’ eyes, the shaky breaths he lets out to steady himself.

“Carlos?”

Carlos swallows hard and blinks, shaking himself a bit as he pulls his gaze up from TK’s chest and to his face. TK’s heart tightens at Carlos’ broken expression.

“Carlos, what’s wrong?”

He stays still as Carlos blinks again, his brows furrowing as if he’s struggling to understand something.

“We were so close to losing you.”

His voice sounds so grave and far away, and TK does not doubt that in his mind Carlos is right back at the hospital, at his bedside. He can only imagine what Carlos must have seen and heard from that vantage point.

Carlos wipes at his eyes with his free hand.

“I’m sorry. God, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. You don’t know…just how good it is feeling your heart beat like this. Strong and steady…not too slow,” he mumbles to himself. “You’re really okay now.”

TK’s thumb soothingly strokes the back of Carlos’ hand. His touch seems to settle Carlos further; TK watches the tension in Carlos’ shoulders loosen.

“I’m okay,” TK echoes. “I fought to come back to you, and I always will.”

Carlos searches his eyes, and TK can see how much he’s warding off the urge to sob. They’ve had far too many close calls lately, and TK loathes the fact that he’s added one more to the list.

He cups Carlos’ face and wipes away a tear that falls. He presses his lips to Carlos’ cheek and looks at him. Carlos’ eyes soften the longer he stares back.

“I love you so much, TK. So, so much, I can’t even imagine what I would have done if—,” Carlos cuts off, shaking his head and lowering his gaze.

“Hey, look at me. I’m right here, okay? You don’t have to think about the what-ifs, babe. Focus on the here and now with me. Everything's just fine. We’re alright, and I love you.”

TK leans forward and kisses Carlos’ cheeks as he nods slowly, seemingly allowing TK’s words to sink in.

It breaks TK’s heart to know that yet again Carlos had to witness him in danger like that, the feeling made all the worse by their breakup. It’s a chilling thought and serves as motivation for TK to combat those negative memories by creating new and bright ones now.

Carlos turns his head slightly, and TK is right there to meet him halfway, his lips welcoming him at once.

Carlos kisses him with renewed intensity as he presses himself fully against TK, his hips pinning him to the bed. TK breathes in deeply through his nose, relishing in the feel of Carlos’ lips on his, the warmth of his hands trailing down his sides and to his hips.

TK isn’t able to keep his hands off of Carlos either. He quickly grows frustrated with Carlos’ shirt and removes it himself. His palms immediately run down the valley of his spine, and he smiles to himself at the shudder he pulls out of his boyfriend just then.

TK doesn’t think he could ever grow tired of the way he and Carlos perfectly align with one another; the feel of Carlos’ abs against his torso makes his head spin.

Carlos reaches for the nightstand and takes out a bottom of lube and a condom.

TK suddenly feels like a teenager, all butterflies in his stomach and quickened pulse at the sight of the supplies.

In a way, it almost feels like their first time.

Perhaps Carlos senses his sudden nerves as he gently nuzzles against him.

“Just tell me what you need,” Carlos murmurs against the shell of his ear, his breath tickling his skin.

TK shivers at the tone of his voice, his fingers digging into Carlos’ firm shoulders.

“You. Only you. That’s all I need,” he rasps.

Whatever Carlos is willing to give to him tonight, he will take.

Carlos drops a kiss to the side of his head, his hands lowering to remove TK’s sweats and underwear before doing the same with his own clothes.

TK can’t breathe for a moment, feeling the direct press of Carlos’ cock against him. His eyes roll shut as Carlos rolls his hips forward.

TK has missed this. Not just the act itself, but the closeness that comes from it. Being able to share all of himself with the man he loves most in the world is truly indescribable. It fills him with joy to no end to know he has a lifetime ahead of him with this kind of happiness at his fingertips.

His mind is in a daze but he’s pulled back into the moment as Carlos coats his entrance. TK lets out a breath, his body trembling at the intimate touch.

TK makes a vow to himself just then: never again will he let them go this long without each other.

He kisses Carlos heatedly as he’s worked open, holding onto fistfuls of Carlos’ hair to keep himself grounded. It’s been so long, TK could finish from this alone, but he staves off the feeling, wanting to hold out for the real thing.

For all of him.

TK grinds down as Carlos adds a second finger, a muted whimper leaving him at the sensation. Carlos presses a soothing kiss to his forehead.

“I’ve got you,” he reassures, but TK never had a doubt.

TK relaxes against him, fingers threading through Carlos’ hair as eventually Carlos adds a third finger. Carlos handles him with such care, even as his fingers curl deeply inside him, acutely enough for TK to let out a cry.

He can’t take much more and Carlos seems to know this as he gently removes his fingers. The pounding in TK’s ears only grows louder as he watches Carlos work a condom over himself.

He cups Carlos’ face gently as he spreads his legs, giving him easier access. Carlos eyes rake over his body, almost as if in wonder. It makes TK blush in spite of himself and a soft smile spreads across Carlos’ lips as he settles himself prominently between TK’s legs.

TK keeps his eyes locked on Carlos’ as he enters him and it feels like a second homecoming. To get back to this degree of closeness is almost too much for TK to fully grasp in the moment. He’s far too busy being crushed by the weight of relief and gratitude in Carlos’ gaze.

The way Carlos looks at him makes him feel like the most precious, desired person on Earth. He prays Carlos can feel it back, that Carlos understands just how deeply his feelings for him run. Never in his life has TK known a love like this and he’d bet everything he has that he never will again.

This is it for him. This life they’re forging now together is all he could have ever hoped for and so much more than he ever dared to dream of.

As he looks up at Carlos, their bodies moving in sync to meet each other, he’s hit with a wave of emotion so strong it brings tears to his eyes.

Carlos strokes his cheek as they fall and kisses his face.

“I know,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. “I know, babe.”

Of course Carlos understands. No one could ever know this feeling better than him.

He throws his arms over Carlos’ shoulders and holds him as closely as he can.

“I love you,” TK hiccups.

“I love you, too.”

TK closes his eyes, lets those four words wash over him. Carlos’ love is like armor. Nothing can touch him so long as he has that.

His nails scramble for purchase against Carlos’ back as he drives in deeper. He’s certain he’s doing nothing more than leaving scratches on his skin. But TK delights in that thinking, in being able to mark Carlos as his.

Carlos bites gently on his neck and TK just knows he’s left another mark of his own too.

TK seeks out Carlos’ hands, his boyfriend linking their fingers at once and raising them above TK’s head, gently pinning them to pillows as he works himself in and out of him. TK rocks forward steadily to meet each thrust, feeling the tension building in the pit of his stomach.

Carlos’ mouth is on his again, his tongue sucking TK’s teasingly. TK squeezes their hands together tightly, the pressure within him becoming far too much to contain.

His body trembles and a moment later, he finishes with Carlos’ name slipping loosely from his mouth, half his face buried in the crook of Carlos’ neck as Carlos comes as well.

They stay linked for a few moments, collecting their breaths before Carlos pulls away first—just enough to kiss him.

TK is still breathless but he greedily kisses him back, pouring every last bit of his energy into it. He only stops long enough for them to get cleaned up.

TK sighs once they’re done and turns to rest on his side. He’s immediately enveloped by Carlos, his back pressed against his boyfriend’s torso. He smiles to himself at the kiss Carlos leaves on his shoulder blade as they hold hands.

He plays with Carlos’ fingers, marveling at the strength and softness of them. The safety of Carlos’ arms is just like heaven. There are a million things racing through his mind now but TK settles on the one thought that rings clearest of all as Carlos buries his face in the crook of his neck and takes a deep breath.

“It’s good to finally be home.”

[rosiesramblings]

Reckless

WC: 1.9k

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star, TK and the 126 + Carlos

A/N: Here's my first fic! The lack of Lee!TK fics (or Lone Star fics in general) is an actual crime. Let me know if the formatting is weird - I'm really not sure how posting works. Hope you enjoy!

    The air in the ambulance was so fraught with tension it made TK want to squirm. He was glad he was driving so that he had something to do with his hands. Nancy sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed, glaring out the front windshield like it had personally wronged her. TK couldn’t see Cap from where she sat at the back of the ambulance, but he’d bet his next paycheck that her lips were pressed into a thin, angry line.

    And it wasn’t like TK didn’t know why. What he had pulled was, objectively, one of his stupider stunts. He could admit that. But when his patient had hysterically pulled off her oxygen mask to tell him that her six month old was still inside the burning house, strapped in his carseat in the kitchen, TK didn’t hesitate. 

    He knew he was a paramedic now, and not a firefighter. But there are some instincts that never change, even if your career path does.

    TK took one look at the house and knew that he had seconds before it would flash over. He sprinted toward the open door, ignoring Nancy’s calls and Cap’s orders. Pulling his shirt up over his mouth and nose, thick black smoke stinging his eyes, TK found the carseat, grabbed it and flew back out the door.

    He had taken six steps from the house before he felt the heat at his back intensify as the house flashed, and he knew he had come uncomfortably close to a one-way ride to the morgue. But at the mother’s hysterical gratitude as he placed her son safely back in her arms? TK knew he would do it all over again if he had to.

    Unfortunately for TK, it did not seem that the rest of the firehouse shared that sentiment. He pulled the ambulance back into the station as the rest of the team hopped down from the truck. Marjan’s face was set into a glare, his Dad looked like he had just run an ultramarathon, Mateo looked like he was close to tears, and Judd… TK didn’t know if he had ever seen Judd quite this angry.

    Swallowing back the fear that he was about to get scolded, TK swung down from the driver’s seat and started toward the stairs, eager to shower off the soot that now coated his body.

    “Not a chance,” Marjan said, stepping in front of him, grabbing his shoulders, and spinning him back around, where Judd was waiting.

“Guys, come on, at least let me shower before you yell at me,” TK tried for humor. The twitch in Judd’s left eye told him exactly how well that landed.

    “Give me your radio,” was what Judd said. 

TK’s brow furrowed, confused, but he slowly lifted his radio off his duty belt and handed it to Judd.

    Judd clicked the ‘on’ button, and the radio squawked to life in his hands. “Testing, testing,” he said. Everyone else’s radios echoed with Judd’s voice.

    Judd, if possible, glowered even harder. “Well, would you look at that? Your radio isn’t broken. Clear as a bell, in fact.”

    TK swallowed, shifting from foot to foot.

    Judd continued, “Well, then, I would love to hear what circumstances prevented you from using your perfectly functioning radio at that house. Which is what you should have done, instead of charging in there like some kind of LUNATIC.” Judd shoved TK’s radio back into his chest.

    TK stumbled back a step, before raising his chin defiantly. “Judd, listen, I-”

    “You know, I don’t actually care to hear your excuses.” Judd poked a finger into TK’s chest, his Southern drawl becoming even more pronounced in his anger. “Because that stunt you pulled? Quite possibly the most reckless-” poke, “stupid-” poke, “feather-brained-” poke, “idiotic- are you laughing right now?”

    TK’s eyes widened. He quickly schooled his features at the realization that Judd thought he was laughing at him. Frantically, he tried to think of an excuse. “No! God, no, Judd, I wouldn’t - I mean - it’s just -”

    “It’s just that TK is probably the most ticklish person you will ever meet,” Captain Strand’s voice echoed from where he stood halfway up the stairs.

    TK’s mouth dropped open in shock and betrayal. “Dad!”

    “Sorry, TK,” Owen said in a tone that conveyed he was anything but, “I have to go and get started on the paperwork from the last call, which has doubled thanks to your actions, son. Good luck.” He turned to continue up the stairs, calling back over his shoulder, “Judd, don’t kill him.”

    Horrified, TK turned back to Judd, whose expression might as well have spelled ‘danger’ in bright neon lights. Judd cracked his knuckles, mock saluting his retreating Captain. “Yes, sir.”

    That snapped TK out of his frozen state. With a noise that could be described as a yelp, TK turned and ran, narrowly avoiding Marjan’s grasp. He dashed behind the ambulance, daring to look back behind him before suddenly crashing to the floor.

    Blinking in shock, TK turned to see Nancy, her left boot stuck out to trip him. “Nance - what did I ever do to you?” he asked incredulously.

    “You gave me a heart attack,” Nancy snapped, snatching his wrists and pulling them above his head. “Maybe this will remind you to use your brain once in a while.”

    Judd and Marjan sauntered over to where Nancy had TK pinned. I should really ask her about her workout regiment, Tk thought to himself, tugging at his arms uselessly.

    “Guys - wait - you really don’t have to -” TK babbled, grin already tugging at his lips.

    “Oh, apparently we do,” Marjan said, eyes glittering in the light. “I personally think this is the perfect thing to knock some goddamn sense into you,” she said, kneeling at his left side. Judd took his place on his right, the both of them throwing their legs over his own so he couldn’t curl up.

    “Oh god - Paul, Paul! You’re reasonable, make them stohoohop,” TK begged as Marjan started doing the finger wiggle thing, right above his ribs. “I’m fine! Not a scratch, Cap checked me out! So - so all’s well that ends well, right? Paul? Mateo? Somebody?”

    “Yeah, that was the dumbest thing I’ve seen you do in a while, TK, which is saying something,” Paul called from where he was casually leaning against the truck. “Plus, I kind of want to see where this goes.” 

    “Nowhere! This goes nohohowhere, please, Judd, wait, Marjan you can’t-”

    “That’s where you’re wrong, Strand,” Judd grinned. “We absolutely can.”

    “No, no, nononohohohohoho,” TK giggled as Judd started squeezing his side and Marjan spidered her nails up and down his ribs. 

    “Good Lord, man, I’m barely even touching you,” Judd teased.

    “Shut uhuhuhuhuuhup,” TK snickered, trying in vain to twist away from the overwhelming sensations.

    “Awful brave talk from someone in your position,” Marjan said. She crawled her fingers into TK’s armpit, and he jerked, tumbling into loud belly laughter.

    “PLEASE! It’s sohohohoho bahahahad,” he cackled.

    Judd moved his hand down to squeeze at his hips, “D’aw, really? Good. It's about to get worse.”

    “OhohohoOHOHOHO MY GAHAHAHAD,” TK shrieked, too preoccupied to be embarrassed at the way his protests echoed off the station walls.

    “Aw, he’s blushing,” Marjan teased, quickly sneaking her nails underneath TK’s now-untucked shirt. “Poor thing! Can’t take it?”

    “FUHUHUHUCK YOU MARJ!” TK yelled, twisting in vain to get away from those nails.

    “Now, remind me what your job is TK?” Judd asked casually, as if he wasn’t currently sending TK into the absolute hysteria.

    “What?” TK yelped.

    “What. Is. Your. Job?” Judd asked again, punctuating each word with another devastating squeeze to his hips.

    “PahahaharaMEDIC,” TK called out, gasping as Nancy started fluttering her fingers over his neck. He tossed his head from side to side, but each time she avoided him and continued her torment uninterrupted.

    “Really? Paramedic? Not firefighter?” Judd asked.

    “NohohohoOHOHOHO, JUDD,” TK laughed as he drummed his feet on the floor. Judd was merciless, pinching up to his belly and spidering his blunt nails over the skin.

    “So you are not responsible for getting victims out of burning buildings?” Marjan asked, vibrating her fingers between each of his ribs.

    “NOHOHOHO,” TK screamed, tears squeezing out from behind his scrunched up eyelids.

    “Or running into situations with none of the proper protective gear?”

    “Or flying solo? Ignoring your team, your captain?”

    “NOHOHOHOHOHOHO,” TK wailed.

    “Or -”

    “Jesus, what did he do to deserve this?” A new voice called out from the entrance to the firehouse.

    Judd and Marjan let up, but Nancy continued to spider her fingers around his neck, keeping TK giggling. He didn’t have to lift his head to know who it was.

    “Carlos! Carlos they’re kihihihiling mehehe,” TK whined through his giggles, shooting a desperate look at his boyfriend who sauntered in with a lunch bag in his hand. “You’re a cohohop, arrest them.”

    Carlos grinned. “Arrest them? For what?”

    “Assahahahault and battery,” TK managed.

    “I don’t think that would hold up in court, baby,” Carlos said. Then he turned to Paul. “No, seriously, what did he do?”

    “Ran into a burning house with no backup and no gear to get a baby,” Paul said nonchalantly. “Hence this ‘reminder’ about his job description.”

    “Is that so?” Carlos said, his voice dangerously calm. He turned toward TK and cocked his head to the side. “In that case, have you guys tried behind his knees?”

    TK’s mouth dropped open again, before his eyes narrowed. “Oh, Carlos, you can go straight to heHEHEHEHEHEHEHELL.” 

TK promptly lost his mind as Judd and Marjan began targeting his worst spot ruthlessly. Judd dug his fingers in behind his knees while Marjan fluttered hers, the conflicting sensations overloading TK’s nervous system.

“IHIHIHIH’M SOHOHOHOHOHRRY,” TK managed, before the tickles scrambled his brain so much that forming words became too difficult. His laugh went silent after a few moments, and Judd, Marjan, and Nancy took that as their cue to back off.

Nancy released his wrists and TK hugged his arms protectively around his ribs, still shaking with laughter.

“I think we broke him,” Nancy said, smiling.

“Good. Maybe he’ll actually think twice next time,” Judd said, accepting Carlos’ offered hand and heaving himself off the floor.

“Oho *hic* my gohohohohohod,” TK hiccupped, mustering the strength to lift one arm up and wipe away the tears on his face. “Thahat was soho *hic* mean.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Marjan teased.

“You took it like a champ, man,” Paul called over before heading up the stairs.

Judd fixed him with a stare. “The next time you end up in the hospital for something stupid, what I will do to you will make this look like a walk in the park.”

TK whined and hugged himself tighter, and Carlos laughed. He stuck his hand down to TK, who jumped at the sudden movement, blushing when he realized Carlos just meant to help him up. Carlos snorted.

“C’mon baby, let’s get you some water for those hiccups,” Carlos said, pulling TK up. TK staggered into Carlos, his legs retaining the structural integrity of a bowl of Jell-O.

“Water *hic* then a nap,” TK said, leaning more than half his weight on Carlos. 

“Ok baby,” Carlos said. “Here - let me just -” and he swung TK up into his arms, bridal style. TK sighed gratefully, closing his eyes and pressing his head into Carlos’ neck as they made their way up the stairs.

“This is *hic* going to be how I *hic* actually die,” TK mumbled. “Still can’t believe *hic* you told them about my *hic* fucking knees.”

Carlos just smiled.

[doublel27]

Knight in Shining Armor - T - 3K (part 2)

TK Strand/Carlos Reyes - Hospitalizations - 3x04 CODA/Deleted Scene - bad nurses

Read on AO3 Part 1 TK POV Something grazes the back of his hand and Carlos shoots up instantly. For a horrible moment, he isn’t sure where or when he is beyond the hospital chair and TK could be anywhere between life and death. But when he settles and focuses, TK's green eyes are staring at him through heavy lids, and there’s just a nasal cannula instead of the vent. Carlos squeezes the hand in his as the last twenty-four hours come back.

“Hey babe,” Carlos says, shifting closer to the bed. “Thought you might sleep a little longer. You were just out for the MRI an hour ago.”

Since TK came back yesterday, and there’s no other way Carlos can explain it, there have been waves of people, coming in and occasionally taking TK out with them. There’s also been the drifting of friends in and out in the brief periods where TK is somewhat alert. Currently, it’s just them, and that’s more than enough.

TK looks off somewhere and shifts back to Carlos. “Not dreaming?”

“What, dreaming about me?” Carlos asks, offering a smile. Then the thought comes that in some other universe this was the dream and…Carlos shudders rather than invite that into reality. This reality is hard enough. “No, this is horrifyingly real, TK. I would appreciate it if we could start going at least an entire year between hospital stays.”

“Doghouse,” TK murmurs, his mouth lifting into a ghost of a smirk.

“You’re on—” Carlos stops himself from finishing the familiar phrase. His voice cracks like the words he was about to say. Thin ice is what brought them here and Carlos would prefer to never be on it again.

“Probation,” he says finally, swallowing heavily. “We’ll see how this period goes.”

TK flutters his eyes closed. “Yes, officer.”

Carlos feels the tears start to well up again but he laughs right over them, filled with joy. Having TK back is a miracle. Having the TK who flirts with him again, well, Carlos has been waiting on him longer than two days. Everyone has tried to coax him into going home, changing, showering, sleeping in a bed. He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want to go home to his mostly empty house. He’s been waiting for TK all this time and, now that he has him, Carlos isn’t going anywhere.

“So,” he says, continuing to talk even though TK’s eyes remain closed. TK seems to listen and drift in and out of these moments. “Paul might be getting released today. They’re checking on his core temperature. How the two guys from the cold cities ended up…I’ll never know. It’s probably y’alls bravado.” TK is Icarus, always flying a little close to the sun and singeing his wings. “He’ll be back by later.”

Carlos runs a hand over TK’s hair, just because he can. It seems to smooth out the furrow that was developing between his brows. “Marjan and Nancy insisted on breakfast. Honestly, I think my mom talked them into getting breakfast so she could pick up lunch. You’re still on a liquid diet though, TK. Sorry about that. They might move you off of clear liquids soon. I know how you feel about Jell-O. I’ve ordered them to pick up your tea, minus boba, minus the taro root. It won’t really be your usual order.”

Carlos keeps talking about something Nancy said about game night and wonders in his head if they’ll have the next one in the loft, and segues into the fight his parents had about his mom coming to sit by TK’s bedside through the snow after his dad had insisted she stay home. “You should have heard her, ‘If you think some snow was going to keep me from my boys when they needed me.’ She really loves you.”

There’s a disturbance behind him and Carlos glances toward the door. Two women in scrubs have come in and one is updating the board. The name Janine goes up and Carlos is suddenly dragged back to waiting in the doorway yesterday morning with these two women exiting. He’s out of his seat in a second.

“No,” he says, his throat dry as sandpaper. It could have been a whisper or a shout. All he knows is they cannot come in.

In the distance he thinks he hears TK murmur “baby” but the blood is rushing in his ears and the urge to yell and hit something is welling up. Instead, Carlos grinds his teeth and glares at the two women who have entered TK’s room.

“Get out.”

Not-Janine says, “Sir—we said we were sorry about—”

Continue reading on AO3

[maybe-theres-hope]

Tarlos ficlet - “You Like My Costume?”

For all y'all firefighter!Carlos babes :) 

@howtosingit @pragmaticoptimist34 and anyone else who likes this kind of thing <3

1.6k | ao3

TK is actually kind of bummed to be working on Halloween.

Sure, it’s not like he has to work Thanksgiving this year--he somehow finagled the day off and he has yet to tell Carlos that he will be making a surprise visit to the ranch for dinner and he absolutely can’t wait to see his fiancé’s face when he walks in--but he was kind of looking forward to doing the cutesy couple’s costume thing. He’s a sucker for that kind of thing, and he’s bummed, okay?

They’re out on a call that’s frankly more of a time waster than anything else since the fourteen year old in question wasn’t actually suffering from alcohol poisoning but rather he’d yarfed because his friends had dared him to drink a teaspoon of dish soap--honestly, kids these days--so things are looking pretty mellow so far for the evening. He half expected full-moon level type calls tonight but in all honesty he’s been kind of bored. Which really makes it doubly crappy to be working. There’s not even any excitement. 

“At least we’re off at 11, you’ll get to see the last of the trick-or-treaters,” Nancy says with a smirk. 

“Who trick-or-treats at 11 p.m.?” he asks. “By then it’ll just be the dumb teenagers TP-ing old people’s houses and that’s if anyone actually does that anymore.”

“What, you’re too old and married for those kinds of shenanigans?”

“Screw you, I’m not old, and I’m not married yet,” he quips back at her.

“Mmmhmm. Coulda fooled me.” She’s smiling her mischievous smile, the one she gets when she’s contemplating how to jump-scare him in the bunk room in the middle of the night because one time he yelped in such a high-pitch that she nearly peed herself laughing, and she’s been trying to recreate it ever since. 

“Hey, the thrill is not gone, I can promise you that.” Now it’s his turn to smirk back at her.

“Ugh ugh, okay, don’t wanna hear about it.” She waves her hands in front of her face like she’s shooing away fog. “And TK? I mean that. Whatever it is you’re going to be doing tonight, I never wanna hear about it, okay? Just...please. Keep it in the bedroom. Everyone’s going to be making enough assumptions as it is.”

He turns to look at her from the driver’s seat, puzzled. “What do you mean, tonight? What’s so special about tonight and why are people making assumptions? Carlos had to work until half an hour ago anyway, so we’re probably both going to just pass out when I get home. Also, what do you mean ‘assumptions’?”

She just smiles at him again. “Just drive, Strand.”

When he pulls the rig into the bay at ten minutes past eleven, TK just wants to shower and collapse. Boredom held out for only so long before giving into three separate calls where the patient coded on the backboard. He’s tired, he’s hungry, and he feels like he will never be clean of all the sweat. His fingers are aching and his shoulders are sore. He’s never been more ready to just slip into their sheets at home and pass into blissful oblivion. He can’t even make himself look up from the floor as he walks toward the locker room. 

“Hey TK! Why don’t you say hi to the new probie?” Mateo’s voice is nearly a giggle, and it actually causes TK to lift his head. With great effort. 

“Huh? We have a new probie? Whose first shift is on Halloween? Who did he piss off to manage that?” TK asks, following Mateo through the kitchen.

It’s Paul who answers from where he’s leaning against the archway leading back into the bay where the ladder truck is parked. “No one. You might be a little peeved that he took your old turnout gear, but I really, really doubt that.”

“What?” Now TK is just thoroughly confused. 

“Yeah,” Marjan says when he rounds the corner, “and it doesn’t fit him all that well, but I also highly doubt you’ll be upset about that either.” She’s practically glowing with mirth. 

“Okaaaay...what’s with everyone? Is this some kind of Halloween prank? Is someone going to jump out and scare me?”

“Trust me, it won’t scare you. Just...don’t scar the rest of us once you see it. Behave yourself until you get home,” is Nancy’s last line before she turns and practically runs up the stairs. 

TK darts his gaze around to the rest of them, brow furrowing. 

“Just go, man. We’ve been keeping this from you for like a week and we want to see the fruits of our labor,” Mateo says, shoving at TK’s shoulder so that he walks toward the ladder truck.

Still confused and slightly nervous, TK rounds the back of the truck and looks around to see what it is they’ve conjured up to prank him with. He scans the floor, wondering if someone in a scary mask will slide out from under the truck. He moves around to the other side while still in the team’s line of sight, looking back at them for some kind of indication that he’s on the right track. Marjan points subtly up and he follows with his gaze. 

His mouth goes instantly dry and his breath stops. He might gasp, but he can’t be sure.

“Hi babe. Happy Halloween,” Carlos croons in a low voice, though he’s blushing slightly which removes some of the effect. 

TK can only stare. His old turnout gear, indeed.

His fiancé his perched on top of the truck, casually leaned against the ladder and looking down on him. His hips, clad in baggy pants only held up by bright suspenders are slipped forward just so, inviting TK’s eyes to travel up the long line of his glorious body. The AFD t-shirt is straining at the seams, defining every muscle in his abs and pecs, the suspenders caressing against the hard planes of his chest, peeking out from the turnout coat hanging open. 

When Carlos notices where TK’s eyes have gone, he lifts himself out of his ridiculously sexy lean to stand and shrug out of the coat. How on earth anyone can make the removing of standard-issue PPE look so goddamned alluring, TK will never know. The movement causes Carlos’ shoulders to flex, and the cotton of the t-shirt nearly gives out. TK catches a peek of his own name in bright orange lettering across the back of the coat before it’s casually flipped over one massive shoulder, clinging to one finger. 

“I...holy shit,” is all he can say. He has been robbed of his entire vocabulary. He can hear his team snickering at him from the kitchen, but he pays them no mind. The view from here is much better. 

Carlos blushes a bit more, and tosses the coat down to TK, who catches it dazedly. Then, he watches as his absolutely gorgeous fiancé nimbly climbs down the footholds on the side of the truck like he’s done it a thousand times before, and between drooling and sucking in subtle breaths of air TK’s eyes are drawn directly to his ass. It’s a marvelous sight. 

Dropping down lightly onto the floor with a tiny bounce in his step, Carlos turns to face TK in all his glory. TK’s gaze once again runs the gambit from his shoulders down his torso, right down to his own spare pair of boots. 

Carlos saunters closer, knowing full well what he’s doing and loving every minute of it, the bastard. “So, babe,” he says in that same low voice, closer this time. “You like my costume?”

TK still can’t really form words. He might stutter a bit, but he’ll deny it later.

Carlos leans in close--presumably to deter their audience from hearing his next words, which are whispered directly into TK’s ear. 

“I chose to dress up as your secret fantasy,” he says, his lips caressing the shell of TK’s ear. He shivers, though from the words or the touch or the outfit or all of the above, TK can’t say. The next words he hears don’t help matters much.

“What do you say I rescue you from work? Take you home and give you some mouth-to-mouth?” 

TK can hear the desire behind the words, but he can also hear the tiniest giggle at the blatant dirty talk that Carlos actually doesn’t do that much of, and it makes his heart melt. This man is everything.

When he regains some coherency, TK decides to give back as much as he’s gotten. He runs his hands down Carlos’ torso, nearly dropping one suspender completely off his shoulder with his vigor in grabbing a handful of pectoral muscle. 

He leans back in and says into Carlos’ ear, “Well, have you still got your uniform in your car? It might be a bit big on me, but I think I’d look good in nothing but your utility belt. Should I handcuff you to the bed, firefighter Reyes?”

He leans back just enough to catch Carlos scrunching his eyes shut and biting his lip--desire written into every line of his face--and suddenly remembers their audience. This is not a free show, no matter how much help they provided Carlos in surprising TK with this. “Take me home, now.”

“You got it, babe.” With that, Carlos bends down, grabs TK by the waist, and lifts him like he weighs nothing. TK is thrown over his shoulder in a full fireman’s carry to the tune of his team, his friends, whistling and catcalling as he’s carried off to Carlos’ car. 

Yeah, this is a good Halloween. Maybe the best one yet. 

[marjansmarwani]

take it, it’s yours

2k || ao3

One of the ways TK shows love is through tchotchkes, Carlos learns.

A bit of cute softness for the lovely and wonderful @justaswampdemon on her birthday. Happy birthday my dear, thanks for being someone I can yell about everything from these characters to tea to life in general with. I hope you enjoy this little story from your headcanon 💗

-----------

“TK?” 

“Yeah, babe?” He hears his boyfriend call from the other room.

“What is this?” 

“What’s…” TK asks with a frown as he turns to the kitchen, confusion fleeing his face as he sees what Carlos is holding, “oh.”

Carlos simply raises an eyebrow and places the blue-green ladle on the counter as TK approaches, looking at his boyfriend expectantly. 

“It’s a ladle,” TK provides helpfully as he approaches. 

“I can see that,” Carlos deadpans. “Why does it have a face and why is it in my kitchen?” 

“It’s Nessie!” TK declares as if it should be obvious, “See?” 

He picks up the ladle and sets it upright so it stands on its own. “When it’s in a pot, the face and neck stick out,” he explains, “like the Loch Ness Monster.” 

Carlos nods slowly, looking from the ladle in question to his boyfriend. TK’s face falls. 

“You don’t like it,” he says, reaching for the ladle, “I’ll get rid of it. I’m sorry, I should have asked first.” 

Carlos reaches out a hand to stop him, covering the hand now clutching the ladle with his own, “I didn’t say that.” 

TK looks at him hopefully and Carlos smiles, “I think it’s cute, and I love the fact that you got it for me. Plus, it is pretty practical. You can never have too many ladles.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to. I can get rid of it.” 

“Don’t you talk about Nessie that way,” Carlos interrupts, leaning forward to pull TK into a kiss. “She’s not going anywhere, and neither are you.” 

--------

It’s small things here and there, after that. One of those little figurines from the tea boxes on the window sill, small figurines and vases. He doesn’t question it much until one day he walks in the door and goes to dump his keys into the dish beside the door only to find what looks like a pinecone with eyes glued on staring back at him. 

“Hey babe,” TK calls out from the kitchen, where he is already in the process of plating up the takeout he had picked up on his way, “food’s almost ready to go.” 

Carlos nods and is about to thank him for picking it up, or maybe ask him how his day was, but all that comes out when he opens his mouth is a question, “Why is there a pinecone looking at me from the table?” 

TK freezes, brow furrowing in confusion before realization dawns. “Well first off, it’s not a pinecone Carlos, it’s a hedgehog.” 

“Uh huh,” Carlos agrees skeptically, peering back down at the item in question. “And why is there a hedgehog on the table?” 

“Because I saw it when I was out with Marjan today and thought it was cute. Why?” he asks, voice shifting, “Do you not like it? I can get rid of it if you don’t, I should’ve asked first, I’m…” 

But Carlos shook his head, dropping his bag by the door and crossing to the kitchen, coming up beside TK. He reached out and put a hand on his face, gently turning it so he was meeting Carlos’s gaze. 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it TK,” he assures him softly, “and you don’t need to get rid of it. Take a breath, it’s okay.” 

He waits for TK to do so, watching as the panic leaves his expression. “Do you want to tell me what’s really going on?” he asks gently, moving his hand from TK’s face to his waist. 

“Nothing,” he says at first but at Carlos’s raised eyebrows he rolls his eyes. “Fine, something, but it’s stupid.” 

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” Carlos offers and TK sighs. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m overstepping,” TK admits. “I know I bring little things in from time to time and you don’t seem to mind but every once in a while I start to wonder again. It’s just something my mom and I always had in common. She used to love picking up little funny or cute things, and it became something we did together. My dad never liked clutter - well, he still doesn’t, actually - but he used to always complain about my mom and her tchotchkes and so I would always just keep them in my room instead and I just don’t want you to ever feel like I’m taking advantage, or cluttering your house or…”

“Hey,” Carlos interjects, interrupting the spiral he could see starting. “I don’t think that, any of it. I love that you bring little things here, that you are adding little bits of yourself. It makes it feel a little bit more like our home, doesn’t it?”

He pauses, giving TK a chance to process his choice of words, and is rewarded by his eyes widening. He smiles and leans forward, pressing a kiss to TK’s cheek. “This is your home too TK,” he tells him, “in whatever capacity you want it to be. And yeah, if it starts to look like a roadside gift shop in here, we may have to have a talk about the...what was that word you used?” 

“Tchotchkes,” TK provides, “it means trinket, or knick-knack.” 

“Right,” Carlos agrees, “but a few of them? I kind of love them because it brings a little more life, and shows me that you feel at home here. Not to mention the fact that they make you happy, and I can put up with a few pinecones looking at me if it makes you happy.”

“It’s a hedgehog, Carlos,” TK tries to gripe, but the light in his eyes betrays him, “it’s cute and it’s seasonal.”

“And it makes you happy, which is all I ever want,” Carlos agrees, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Besides, I never said I didn’t like it. It’s cute, actually.” 

--------

Carlos has a theory. 

He’s read about love languages and he knows that TK’s is physical touch, without a doubt. Not even in a sexual way; he just likes being close to Carlos, having a physical reminder that he is there, that he is real. It reveals itself in hand holding and hugs and small touches as they pass each other whether it's in the field or at home. He’s just very tactile, and Carlos loves that about him (it’s one of about roughly 230 things, but still). 

But the more and more he has watched him and spent time with him, he decides that TK has more than one. He’s not sure if it qualifies as gift giving or if it is a category all of its own but there is no denying that TK loves to give small gifts to his friends. The first time he notices is when they are out, strolling through a flea market on Saturday morning. They’re walking hand in hand when their progress is abruptly halted by TK, who stops and turns to a table to their right. He picks up a small figurine (Carlos would be lying if he said he had the faintest idea what it was actually supposed to be) with a grin and politely asks the vendor for a price. He hands over the few dollars requested with a smile and a thanks before pocketing the figurine and moving on. 

Carlos can only watch, catching up to him a few moments later, giving him a questioning look when TK meets his eyes. “For Marjan,” he explains, smiling as he reaches out to take Carlos’s hand in his again, “she’ll think it’s funny.” 

And so she does, as Carlos  finds out when she shows up at the condo later that evening. Her bright laugh draws the attention of the others and she beams at them as she shows them the small figurine - a crocodile for the native Floridian, Carlos and the others are informed -  squeezing TK’s arm in thanks as she flashes a smile at him. 

It doesn’t stop there. From time to time small and strange objects filter through the condo on their way to their intended owners. A book on cryptids for Paul, a set of exaggerated cartoonish Texas-themed salt and pepper shakers for Judd, a disgruntled cat figurine for Nancy; an inexplicable purple pig for Mateo that TK refuses to explain. They become a part of their everyday and Carlos stops noticing them, after a while. They are a part of who TK is and a testament to the love and care he has for others and the joy he takes from making them happy. 

And if that means he finds the odd figurine on the counter from time to time, Carlos will happily take that in stride. 

When TK officially moves in there is surprisingly not an influx in tchotchkes in the condo. Though Carlos supposes it had been a gradual invasion anyways; and if he had maybe purchased the matching Nessie pasta spoon and tea steeper on his own, nobody was the wiser. It’s normal now for there to be a new and unexplained small object on the edge of the counter or on the table beside the door so when Carlos sees a small object on the counter when he comes home from work on TK’s day off, he thinks nothing of it. 

It’s not until TK emerges from upstairs and they exchange greetings that he gives it a second thought because TK keeps giving it furtive looks. After a few minutes of TK’s gaze drifting towards it as they spoke Carlos raises an eyebrow. 

“Care to share with the class?” he asks drily and TK starts, looking at Carlos in surprise before his gaze turns sheepish. He reaches around him to the counter and picks up the newest tchotchke, placing it in Carlos’s hand. 

“It’s cheesy,” he starts, covering Carlos’s palm with his hand to prevent Carlos from looking at it as he spoke, “but I saw it while I was running errands today and it made me think of you. And well...I just wanted you to have a physical reminder, in case I don’t say it enough.”

Carlos studies him, gaze curious as he looks down at their hands, TK’s still covering his own and whatever the small, metal object was. TK takes a deep breath and moves his hand, giving Carlos a look at the mysterious object. 

“I know it’s stupid,” he began, “but I just wanted you to remember, you know? My heart is yours, and it always will be.” 

Carlos hears the words his boyfriend is saying, but he finds that he can’t respond. The sight of the object laying on his palm - a small, gold skeleton key with a heart on the end - has stolen all the breath from his lungs and all the words from his mind. The only thing within him now is the sense of overwhelming love for the man before him, who is watching him nervously. 

“You don’t have to do anything with it,” TK was saying as he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. “You don’t even have to keep it if you don’t want to. I just saw it and...it seemed right.” 

TK was looking at him again and Carlos hated that he was leaving him hanging. He didn’t want the other man to get the wrong idea, but he was too overwhelmed to speak. So he did the next best thing. He reached for TK, key still clutched in his hand, and gently tipped his face up from where he was anxiously studying his feet so that their eyes met. He hoped TK could see the depth of the emotions he was feeling in them, but just in case he pulled him into a kiss, doing his best to say what words had failed to express. 

That kiss turned into another and it was several minutes before they separated long enough to breathe, and speak. And in that moment, foreheads pressed together in their kitchen and a small gold key pressed into Carlos’s palm that words finally returned to him. 

“You have mine too,” he told TK softly. “You have since the day I met you, and it’s yours for as long as you want.”

[kolsmikaelson]

the three times he tried to ask you out and the one time he actually did- joel farabee

a/n- this is kinda meh but i hope yall enjoy it. not proofread. gif not mine, creds to owner.

word count-1.3k+

warnings- gets a teeny bit heated but no smut

add yourself to the taglist

you met joel the first day you moved into the apartment complex. he caught your eye from that very day. he was around your age, seemed sweet, and not to mention he was definitely attractive. you thought he was shy at first but when you heard him with some friends not long after moving in, you thought he was just shy around you.

the first time he tried to ask you out was a bit of a disaster. he caught you in the hallway when you were coming home from getting groceries. ‘hey y/n ! need any help?’ you smile his way, ‘ joel hey ! yeah that would be lovely.’ you let joel take some of the bags from your hands so that you’re able to get your key into the lock. as soon as you both are in your apartment you lead him into the kitchen where he puts down the groceries he took from you. ‘thank you joel, i really appreciate it.’ his face gets even more red as the seconds pass. joel keeps his eyes trained on the ground and mumbles out a thank you.

before he turns to leave your apartment, ‘hey uh, y/n?’ he questions. you hum in response and look up at him. ‘would you..’ he trails off before correcting himself. ‘would you let me borrow your phone ? i accidentally locked myself out and i need to call my team mate so he can bring me my extra key.’ he scratches his neck, beating himself up on the inside for not asking you out. ‘ yeah of course, here you go,’ you hand your phone to him. he walks towards the front door and pretends to call someone.

————

the next time joel tries to ask you out is after a rough game. the flyers lost, 4-0, to the pens, and a loss is always hard for him, wether it be to the pens or not. he knew that he would probably chicken out again, but it couldn’t hurt to try. he stops in front of your door instead of walking to his and brings his fist up to knock. when you hear the knock your brows furrow in confusion, you weren’t expecting anyone so hearing a knock on your door this late was confusing. you look through the peephole to see joel standing there nervously. ‘ hey whats up joel, you okay?’

‘oh fuck’ he thinks. he realizes he has no idea what he wanted to say. he rushes to come up with an excuse, any excuse, to speak to you and not stand there like an idiot. ‘ uh i was baking a cake for my mom, and i was a couple eggs short do you think you could spare two?’ you laugh, ‘yeah of course dude, one sec.’ dude he thinks, you’ll never think of him as anything more than a friend. his face drops at this realization.

you walk back up to joel and see the look on his face, you wanted to ask what was wrong but you hadn’t known him all that long so you decided against it. ‘ here you go joel’ you place the eggs in his hand, your fingers brushing his slightly, making the both of you blush. ‘thanks y/n, i appreciate it.’ you nod and close the door as he walks away.

joel walks back into his apartment with two eggs in his hand that he didn’t even need. he was so sure he was gonna do it. ‘another time.’ he thinks to himself.

————

the third time he tried to ask you out, is when you helped him into his apartment after a rough game. you hear some thuds outside of your apartment so you choose to peek your head out and see if anyone needs help. the sight you see surprises you. ‘joel, what happened?’ he looks at you and shakes his head. ‘nothing y/n im fine, you can go back inside,’ he smiles. you can see him wince as he moves to unlock his apartment door. you rush to close your door and help him stay standing. ‘yeah, definitely not happening farabee. i’m gonna help you and you’re gonna tell me what the hell happened.’ he nods but stays quiet. he hadn’t wanted you to look at him differently when he told you he was in the nhl. he wanted to get to know you better before telling you. he didn’t assume that you’d try and take advantage of him, but it had happened before and he was nervous.

once you have him sitting on his couch you ask what happened again. ‘ um, i’m in the nhl and i had a pretty rough game tonight, i’m just sore.’ he mutters hoping that you don’t hear him. you did hear him though. ‘woah really? thats insane. you must be really good huh?’ you joke. you can see his face drop at your joke. ‘hey, joel im joking, i don’t care that you’re in the nhl, you’re still my same dorky cute neighbor.’ you realize your slip up after it is too late. joel smiles at your confession, ‘you think im cute huh?’ he smirks. you playfully hit his chest, ‘ and what if i do?’ you smile. ‘well, you’re in luck, i happen to find you very pretty y/n.’

————

the time joel finally had to guts to ask you out. he came home from the bar after a 5-0 win against the pens a little tipsy and as happy as you had ever seen him. joel knocks on your front door at half past eleven with determination set on his face. this was of course after he had a couple of drinks in him and some pep talks from nolan and teeks. he was going to finally ask you out after all the months of pining after you. all he could do was hope you said yes.

you open the door sleepily, ‘joel?’ you question. he immediately feels bad for having woken you and almost decided to just ask you out the next day. but before he can stop himself, ‘hey y/n, i know this is random, and don’t feel like you have to reciprocate these feelings but i need to do this for me. y/n we have slowly been getting to know each other since you moved in and i think i’ve fallen for you. you’re just so kind and genuine, and not to mention gorgeous. so i guess what im trying to say is, will you go out with me?’ you let joel take a breath before answering him. ‘joel, i would love to go out with you’ you respond with a grin breaking out in both yours and joels faces. ‘could i hug you? i don’t wanna go to far and ask for a kiss yet, but you saying yes makes me so happy.’ joel rambles. you nod and pull him in for a hug, but what he didn’t expect, was for you to pull his face to yours and press your lips to his. the kiss starts to get a little heated, with joel running his tongue across your bottom lip, but before anything else happens you both pull away for air. ‘wow’ joel says in amazement. ‘that was..wow’ you can tell joel is stunned.

‘how about this joel, you head to your apartment, text me in the morning, and after our date, we can continue what we started here yeah?’ he nods and pulls you in for another quick kiss and then walks to his apartment. that night, joel falls asleep happy that he finally asked out the person of his dreams, and you fall asleep happy that you finally have a date with your dorky, cute neighbor. it may have taken a couple of shots and pep talks from nolan and tk, but both you and joel couldn’t be happier that he finally got the guts to ask you out that night.

taglist- @jamiedrysdales @joshsandersons @stlbluesbrat @2manytabsopen @nhlandotherimagines @iwantahockeyhimbo @ryanssuzuki @boqvistsbabe @alxvlasic

[evanbuckley-heartofgold]

He Could Be A Star

Read on ao3 (1k)

Owen has never been a deep sleeper. Years of being a firefighter and having a kid will do that to a person. So the second his bedroom door opens, Owen is awake, blinking in the darkness. He can see a figure standing in the doorway, backlit by the hall light. 

“Dad?” A soft voice asks. 

TK. Owen sits up and clicks on his bedside light. Since the fire, TK and Carlos have been living with Owen and Mateo in the guest bedroom. Owen won’t lie, having his son back under his roof is doing wonders to ease his mind.

TK looks incredibly nervous, his hands fiddling with the edge of his sleep shirt. 

“You okay?” 

Owen asks as TK walks in and shuts the door behind him. That’s something new since the fire. TK shuts nearly every door behind him, sometimes double checking if it’s closed all the way. Owen remembers sitting down a ten year old TK and telling him that if there’s a fire he should always close the door because it would slow the spread of the flames. It seems he took that to heart. 

TK says nothing as he walks over to the side of the bed and crawls in, pressing himself into Owen’s arms. This is familiar. TK has always been affectionate and Owen is so happy that since becoming an adult, that hasn’t changed one bit. Owen hugs him back, one hand on the back of the boy’s head. Owen holds him for just a moment before TK starts to shake, crying softly. 

“Oh, buddy,” Owen hugs him even tighter, pressing his cheek to the top of TK’s head. “I’ve got you. It’s alright. Did you and Carlos have a fight or something?” TK shakes his head. That’s good at least. 

TK sniffs, holding back tears as he lifts his head and pulls away from Owen’s chest. Though he does allow Owen to keep a hand on his shoulder. As TK pulls back, Owen can see that TK’s eyes are red and watery. He fights the urge to pulls TK back into his arms and waits as TK takes calming breaths. 

“I don’t feel safe,” TK tells him softly after a minute or so. “I mean obviously I-I trust you, but I can’t stop thinking about the fire.” He looks up at Owen. “What if it happens again? I-I can’t lose Carlos or you and-” TK cuts himself off as his breath hitches, hand moving to cover his eyes, a pretty clear indication that he’s crying. 

Owen puts a hand on TK’s back and gently maneuvers him so that TK is pressed against Owen’s chest. “It’s okay to be scared. But listen to me, in this house there are three firefighters, a paramedic, and a cop. If something were to happen, we’d be just fine, okay?” Owen rubs TK’s back.

“I don’t know if I can go back to work,” TK says so quietly Owen thinks he’s not meant to hear it.

“Can I tell you something?” Owen asks. TK nods but doesn’t move. “When I came home after 9/11 and you ran into my arms and gave me the biggest hug, I decided that I was going to quit. I didn’t want to keep being a firefighter if it meant that one day I might not come home to you. But the next day we got a huge box delivered to our house full of letters and cards because,” Owen squeezes TK a little, “because your class was writing letters to thank first responders and you asked your teacher if everyone could write to me. And they did. I spent hours reading those letters. Some of those kids had never met a firefighter before, but some of them did. Some of them told me how firefighters had helped them or their family when they were in trouble.” 

Owen presses a kiss to TK’s head, “When I asked you if you still wanted me to be a firefighter, you looked at me with the most serious expression and said, ‘You’re a hero, dad. You help people. You gotta keep doing it.’ And you were right. Helping people is what I do, what we do. And even though it can be scary and awful, it can also be the most rewarding job.” 

Owen pushes TK back so he can look in his son’s eyes, “I won’t stop you if you really want to quit. But I know that you have the same need to help people that I do. Maybe you take a week off, but there will still be a place for you at the 126.” 

TK’s brow furrows like he’s about to start crying again and he slams into Owen with a big hug, “Thank you,” he says, voice cracking a little bit. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, buddy.” Owen presses another kiss to TK’s head. “Have you talked to Carlos about this yet?” 

TK shakes his head, “I don’t want him to worry.” 

Owen sighs, “I know, but he cares about you, TK. You gotta talk to him.” TK nods and lets go of his dad. 

“Thank you,” TK says again. “I’m gonna go back to bed.” 

“Get some sleep,” Owen squeezes TK’s shoulder. 

TK shuts the door to his dad’s room and pads quietly down the hall to the room he’s sharing with Carlos. He opens the door as quietly as he can and shuts it, waiting until it closes before releasing the handle. In the fifteen or so minutes he’s been gone, Carlos has rolled onto TK’s side of the bed, arm stretched over where TK should be. 

He allows himself a quick moment to appreciate the sight of his shirtless boyfriend in bed before lifting the covers and Carlos’s arm and sliding back into bed. As he settles down, Carlos makes a soft, grumpy noise, squeezing TK’s side. 

TK chuckles and drags his hand through Carlos’s hair.

“You okay?” Carlos asks, his voice gravelly. 

“Yeah, we’ll talk in the morning,” TK assures him. 

“Okay.” Carlos pulls TK deeper into his arms, nuzzling his nose against TK’s neck. “Love you.” 

TK closes his eyes with a content sigh, “I love you too.” 

[ravens-words]

One Line Any Fic

Tagged by the lovely @infp-obsessing-over-everything

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line, and share it! then tag 10 people.

you make me better than I've ever been [Tarlos]

"You think he'll like it?"

"He's gonna love it."

"You think I should've added some spiders?"

"Do you want to give the kid nightmares?"

"Lizards?"

Carlos looked at him sideway, unimpressed.  "Do you want to give me nightmares?"

TK snickered, and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I hope he likes lizards," he whispered teasingly, and Carlos pinched his side in retaliation.

a dead love's buried beneath the dirt [Hangster]

He wonders, despite not wanting to, if it's a boy or a girl. How old the kid is. Is their mom, or dad, around to help or is Jake on his own.

He knocks, and predictably, no one answers. He goes around to the back door, knocks again, then again. He's about to knock on wood when he sees movement and then suddenly the door is swung open and a pretty burnette with a warm smile and a chubby baby on her hip smiles at him. "Hello, how can I help you?"

We Go Together [Tarlos]

"No, I have to go back, can you please just go to the hospital, explain the situation-"

"Kiddo, you sure you don't wanna come with? You look awful."

He shakes his head. "I have to go back."

"Alright, give me the details. Where's your car? How far off the road?"

He rattles off the information as best as he can, says he'll probably be waiting at the side of the road. She tells him to be safe, not to worry, then floors it.

And just like that, he's all alone again.

you take the pain whenever I'm in hell again [Tarlos]

Now, as he sat on the floor of their bathroom, a bottle of pills clutched in his hand, all he could think of was:

“I should’ve seen this coming.”

It wasn't labeled, and the pills inside taunted him. A million questions ran through his mind, and with each one, he felt his throat tighten in fear a little more- fear of what came next, and fear for the man he loved.

I and Love and You [Tarlos]

Carlos pulled him even closer, his chest to TK's back, and their hands intertwined.

TK hadn't felt this peaceful in a long time.

"How about this one?" He asked, tracing the jaded, faded line trailing down his forearm.

TK snatched his hand away, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

"Hey."

He chanced a look at Carlos, and found nothing but understanding on his face.

"I'll tell you. One day, just- let's just be happy for right now."

Distance [Buddie]

"Fine," he snapped, "why didn't you?"

Eddie's brows furrowed in confusion. "Why didn't I what?"

Buck bit his lip, and went back to watching Christopher.  "Tell me to come with you." He shook his head and scrubbed a hand down his face. "I know it's not my place, I just-"

"It is," Eddie interrupted him, "it is your place. I know how important he is to you," he said, and swallowed, throat suddenly dry, before he continued, "and I think you know how important you are to him, to the both of us."

feels like there's oceans (between you and me) [Buddie]

And Bobby couldn't take it anymore. He threw the tissues away, then grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into his arms. Buck came easily, and he hid his face in Bobby's shoulder.

Bobby closed his eyes as he felt the tears start to soak his shirt. Buck shook in his arms, and he felt the sting of tears in his own eyes when the younger man's breath hitched in his chest. "It's okay, kid. He's gonna be okay," Bobby attempted to reassure him.

"No, he's not," Buck said, voice hoarse. "He died, Bobby."

flames look beautiful (if you forget what they can do) [Hangster]

If he never hears the sound of Jake choking on his own breath ever again, it would be too soon.

i will write the stars for you [Buddie + Chim & Buck]

"I'm actually surprised this worked," Chimney commented. "I had a plan b and plan c."

"What was plan b?" Buck sounded amused. 

"Chocolate cake."

"And plan c?"

"A nephew." Chimney paused, and Eddie nearly dropped the plates in his hands.

"What?!" Buck shouted.

"Or a niece," Chimney said, laughing. He sounded proud.

"Maddie's pregnant?!"

Bound by Stardust [Malex]

Michael laughed, giddy with relief. "Guess not." And he figured the reason for that was that they both knew each other so well that they knew exactly which buttons to push, whether intentionally or not.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"I-" Alex pursed his lips, then exhaled heavily. "I shouldn't be saying this to you, because it would make me a really, really bad friend, But-" Alex looked him right in the eye. "I love you. I've been in love with you since I was seventeen and I never stopped.  I never will stop, no matter what you do or say. No matter where you go, that is something that will never change."

Tagging (no pressure): @tkstrrand @lilythesilly @mtnofgrace @loveyourownsmiilee @lovecolibri @sapphire11 @rangergurlgleek1211 @lire-casander @noxsoulmate @djdangerlove

[justapoet]

gonna be okay (but surely not today)

He snapped out of it and smiled, though, when TK stepped closer. His smile shortly died at TK's expression, empty and pale, and he moved to put his feet on the ground.

"TK, are you―" he started, but the paramedic was quick to approach him and put one hand over the one Carlos was reaching his way.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Carlos frowned with worry. TK took a deep breath and sighed, clearing his throat and thoughts about what he had to say. "About that day at the station. I hit you, I jostled you, and I―"

"We talked about this, babe," Carlos said, cutting him off, and TK shook his head. "You don't need to apologize for anything―"

"No, no― Carlos," TK called, cutting him mid-sentence, and holding his hand. "I need to apologize because I was wrong."

Or,

TK apologizes as he should have done, and they talk about feelings, fires, and maybes.

2.5k

read on Ao3

It was still weird to be walking back to one of the guest rooms at his father's house two days later. Not entirely because he was sure Carlos would be there, waiting for him, but because that place hasn't been his home for a little while, now, even before he had actually moved out, and because he had nowhere else to be those days.

Everything went down to ashes, and there was absolutely nothing they could save from the fire.

TK was almost sure half of his soul was included in that. And so was Carlos'.

It had been a weird and numb couple of days if being honest. Not only for the 126 in the firehouse, but mainly for Carlos and TK, who hadn't been able to stand more than five feet apart from each other and, yet, seemed to be way too far from reach.

It had been quiet, and that's for sure. The two of them didn't really talk about anything that had happened ― not the fire, nor the arrest and even less about their discussion at the firehouse ―, and seemed to be absorbed in a string of thoughts that wouldn't really lead anywhere helpful nor beautiful.

Yet, they couldn't get to untangle it.

On the day before, they had been wrapped around each other most of the time, silently crying and not making any questions ― they knew the answers and didn't need it to hurt more than it was already doing. No one disturbed them, the warning that they needed time being fastly spread around the 126, Gwyn, Andrea, and even Billy and Carlos' station.

That was something they were definitely thankful for.

That morning when TK woke up, though, that was restless energy rushing through his veins, making his heart race and his mind fly high on low thoughts. He had woken up just to see Carlos sleeping peacefully, although the wrinkle on his nose was a little deeper than it should be on a good day, and took his time to watch him for a while, trying to calm his heart down. It worked, mainly when his boyfriend woke up and offered him a gentle, sluggish smile, causing half of his anxiety to melt.

The other half, though, had led him to a meeting.

The only person he said it to was Judd since Owen was freaking out over fixing the firehouse, and Carlos seemed to be dealing with too much for TK to throw this over his shoulders too, and TK couldn't be more thankful when the Texan showed up in his pickup truck to give him a ride.

They talked all the way until there, but the ride back was deadly silent. Judd didn't say a thing about it and kindly smiled when he parked in front of Owen's house, and TK really thought he could cry with such a brotherly figure he had found.

Now, while silently pacing through the house, it was hard to tell which words were chaotically dancing around his head and which ones he could really say out loud.

It all stopped when he came into the room to find Carlos sitting on the bed, his legs stretched over the mattress and his eyes unfocused, focusing on the wall at the other side of the room.

He snapped out of it and smiled, though, when TK stepped closer. His smile shortly died at TK's expression, empty and pale, and he moved to put his feet on the ground.

"TK, are you―" he started, but the paramedic was quick to approach him and put one hand over the one Carlos was reaching his way.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Carlos frowned with worry. TK took a deep breath and sighed, clearing his throat and thoughts about what he had to say. "About that day at the station. I hit you, I jostled you, and I―"

"We talked about this, babe," Carlos said, cutting him off, and TK shook his head. "You don't need to apologize for anything―"

"No, no― Carlos," TK called, cutting him mid-sentence, and holding his hand. "I need to apologize because I was wrong, and I should have never hit you the way I did. No matter what was happening or what I was feeling, I should have never shoved you like that," he said, and Carlos looked down at the mattress when TK searched for his eyes. "And I am sorry, I really am. You don't need to forgive me, of course, because―"

"I forgive you," Carlos said, and TK stopped talking. The cop was still looking at the mattress, and it took the paramedic a second to understand what he had said. TK blinked, quite surprised. "But―"

The paramedic frowned when Carlos interrupted himself, breathing deep. Part of his heart shattered with where that word could lead the both of them, and the other could only think he deserved to be left after such an unforgivable behavior.

But we can't be together anymore.

But I can't be with someone who doesn't know how to control his emotions or impulses.

But I don't want to be with you anymore.

And, of course, TK would understand him perfectly in each situation. It doesn't mean it didn't hurt like hell, though.

"But?" TK asked, his heart racing.

"But we gotta work out the way you bottle things up or let them out," Carlos said, looking up at the man in front of him. "And this is about that day at the station and the day you got arrested. You can't solve problems like this, TK," he said, and TK nodded in agreement.

"I really have a thing for shitty coping mechanisms," he said, more like a joke, but didn't try to smile when Carlos looked back at the mattress, his eyes getting lost for a second. "But I'm not the only one who bottle things up, uh?" he said, and Carlos didn't seem to hear him for a few seconds.

Carlos sighed and closed his eyes for a while, pressing his lips together before letting in a shaky breath and letting out a crying noise. TK furrowed his brows, his heart aching inside his chest for the pain Carlos had been holding in since the fire two nights before.

"Carlos?" TK called again, putting a hand over the other man's knee and leaning a bit closer to him. Carlos shook his head a bit, almost the same thing he had done when TK asked him how he was doing when they were both standing a little far from the wreckage of once was their house.

"I didn't want to get up this morning," Carlos said, his voice so low and so broken that it made TK's stomach flip in agony inside his body. The cop sniffed, and TK only tightened the grip on his hand when Carlos opened his mouth to say something, but not a word, and nothing more than a faint cry came out.

And that was the thing: Carlos had always been the strong one in any relationship he had ever had, and letting his feelings out had never been an option. He had to be the strong one, the one people would come to when they needed some shelter, some comfort ― he was never the one to seek it in the first place.

If he ever did that, his father's words about how he was "too soft" would come echoing inside his mind, shattering his heart and cracking up his soul. So, he never did it ― he would never let himself be vulnerable because the thing about having a good heart behind a shield is that it can break apart.

And he couldn't be the one falling to pieces.

Read the rest on Ao3

[blueathens]

ACT 2 - Aesthetics - Agape Series

              Act 2: The Longing Heart

Summary: Lingering looks across the room, small touches of the hand, unsaid words and two beating hearts were becoming a familiar look in the 118, but it's all a struggle when one of the firefighters tells another to try again with their wife, not caring for the pain it causes, it's a good thing she knows a doctor to keep her heart in check.

"Why are you back with Shannon if it was something you never wanted?" Buck questioned, leaning against the ambulance as he watched Eddie restock. "Kasey said it be good," Eddie sighs, pausing as he places an arm to rest against the vehicle, he pressed his forehead against his arm, looking down as he watched his chest rise and fall in thought. "Christopher deserves both parents, and he does." He nodded to himself which only cause Buck's brows to furrow. "But that's not what you want..." He trailed off only for Eddie to pick up from it. "No," he pushes himself slightly, his arm was replaced by his shoulder the moment he turned around to look at Buck with his lips in a thin line. "The person I want is the one flirting with some doctor..." his eyes move away before looking back at the blond, "but it's alright," he mutters with a gentle shrug, "I always knew that I be the one to fall for someone who could never return the same feelings..."

"She's your wife Eddie," Kasey points out as she sat upon the wall next to her friend, palms planted down onto the side of it as she watched her legs swing ever so slightly like a little kid. "I know," he sighs as he looks around. "You're always going to love her." "I did love her..." Eddie confirms, eyes glancing at Kasey for a second before looking down at his lap, pressing his lips together and raised his brows ever so slightly, "but romantically I think there's someone who I could love more." He spared her another glance before uttering, "Shannon and I were always destined to fall apart."

"You know what I've been thinking about?" He whispers as they laid on the grass outside the burned down house. "What?" She turns her eyes away from the stars above them to look at him, and when she did he gave her the softest smile in the world - a smile of thankfulness. "You're kind of my comfort person." Her face scrunches up. "What?" "My comfort person, Like, you're the person that makes me feel better no matter what. No matter how shitty things are. No matter how terrible the world seems. Sometimes I just look at you and I feel okay."

Her knees was brought up closely to her chest as she leaned against the coffee table in the station, facing her mum who watched her with a smile painted on her face. "Sweetie this place is-" "Did dad call you when I was in the hospital?" Kasey interrupted, wanting to keep everything brief before the bell rang as she knew the moment she return from a call she wouldn't be in the mood for her mum. "Oh, yes he did," her smile falls to a frown before shifting into a sympathetic smile, "but honey, I was just too busy with work. I hope you understand." Kasey nodded to herself. She nodded and she nodded and she nodded whilst her eyes stung with tears that she wouldn't allow fall. She sniffles, bringing her sleeve to her nose to wipe it before looking down and pressing her lips into a thin line before releasing a deep and heavy breath. "Yeah," she nods again, eyes shutting for a moment as she offers a fake smile, "yeah, course. It's just..." she hesitates for a second before continuing, "when TK got shot you dropped everything to be there for him. But when I nearly got murdered your work become too important to see your own daughter." She looks up, showing off her teary eyes. "I-I didn't even know if I was going to make it."

"It's like your raising a child with her," Shannon screamed, throwing her arm out in aggravation, "and not with me who is Christopher's mother!" The house was silent, deathly silent, it was so silent that Eddie could hear the branches of the tree outside the window tapping against the glass, reminding him he had to cut down some of the branches. "You were never there Shannon," Eddie replies calmly, looking at her with his arms folded against his chest. "You was never there...and Kasey...she's...she's my best friend who's helped so much since I joined the 118." Shannon scoffed. "Friends," she shook her head, "yeah, sure, we'll go with friends." She gives a small firm nod. "I don't think we're going to be able to go to that reservation tonight Eddie." "Neither do I."

Mistake: So I got years mixed up, Lonestar Season 1 was meant to be in 2020 not in 2018/19 - but for the sake of this fic Season 1 is involved with 2019 but I will find a way to link it all back up XD

A/N: Remember I love to hear any ideas you would like to see happen here and I'll see what I can do for example we'll be seeing TK again around the Tsunami episodes.

A/N 2: Gifs are not mine all credits go to the creators.

Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

[ao3theskyisblue]

In the light of twilight

Summary:

"How long are you planning on sitting miles away from me?"

"I'm only a few feet away from you. Miles may be overstating it, babe."

A 2x08 coda because I still haven’t recovered from last night

Read on ao3

“How long are you planning on sitting miles away from me?”

Carlos had stood up to hug Gwyn and Owen just before they reluctantly left to catch her flight back to New York, exchanging words of reassurance and a promise to get together again soon. He stood back to watch as Gwyn leaned down to kiss TK’s temple softly, Owen giving his son’s hand a squeeze.

“Take care of him.” Carlos couldn’t help straightening his back at those words, nodding at Owen in response.

“Of course, sir.”

He caught a fond eye-roll at that, and even Gwyn seemed to be holding back an amused grin, but the two had left the room soon after that. Which left him to head back to his spot on the uncomfortable hospital chairs, hands clasped before him as his mind raced again with the endless possibilities that could have happened tonight. He didn’t know how long he had sat there, thoughts a blurred haze, until TK had broken the silence.

Looking up, Carlos felt his breath catch at the tender warmth in TK’s gaze as he looked at him, quiet understanding lighting up his features.

“I’m only a few feet away from you. Miles may be overstating it, babe.” Carlos resorted to a tactic he thought he had under his belt, using humour to deflect. He could tell TK wasn’t fooled in the slightest, judging by the short huff of breath at that, before he was lifting a tired hand towards him.

“Still too far.” TK was definitely pouting now, but Carlos still caught the minuscule wince at the action, the movement definitely reminding the man of his injuries that would take a while to heal.

In all honestly, he didn’t know why he was hesitant to get any closer.

Back when they had finally found them, when he saw TK staggering against a table with a bloody bandage on his head, his feet had moved on autopilot, bringing him straight to his boyfriend’s side in a matter of seconds. There was an overwhelming urge, a need, to know that he was okay, that he wasn’t too late.

That trusting his gut had been right.

The overwhelming emotions that had his eyes clouding with unshed tears as he held TK in his arms then were unparalleled, and he knew that there was no place he would have rather been than right there. Everything after that had been a blur - his father arriving at the scene, their tentative conversation, a residual reminder of a family lunch date he had yet to inform TK about.

He had been so close to losing a part of himself today. Looking at TK who was still watching him patiently from the hospital bed, he felt as if the universe might tell him that this was all an illusion, that he had failed to protect the one thing he’s always vowed to protect, that everything he had worked for would disappear right before his very eyes.

“Carlos.”

Biting the inside of his cheek to stop the onslaught of emotions that hit him all at once at the sound of his own name, Carlos got up slowly and took a stumbling step towards the hand that had not stopped reaching for him.

“I’m here, and I’m okay.” TK whispered, and Carlos closed the distance between them, latching onto the offered hand like a lifeline, leaning down to pull TK into a tight hug, though still mindful of his injuries. Pressing a gentle kiss to TK’s hairline, right above the bulge of bandages, he closed his eyes and didn’t fight the tears that slowly slipped down his cheeks.  

“How are you feeling?” TK murmured, and Carlos laughed wetly as he pulled back slightly to wipe away the wet stains on his face. Gentle hands replaced his own, and Carlos gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, lifting a hand to cover TK’s that were still delicately wiping his tears away.

“How am I feeling? You were the one that had a rough day.” Carlos shook his head, and TK immediately made a noise of protest.

“You haven’t had the greatest day either. How – are you still suspended?” TK asked tentatively, eyes searching his, and Carlos smiled.

“Still pending investigation. But I think that after these recent events, I’ll be back to work in a few days.” Carlos felt his heart stutter in his chest at TK’s brilliant smile at that, his eyes shining proudly.

“I’m so proud of you.” TK murmured, and Carlos leaned into the hand still cupping his face, turning to kiss the palm of it. Sighing lightly, Carlos reached for the hand TK had dropped down on the hospital bed, the warmth emanating through him soothingly as the latter immediately intertwined their fingers.

“I was so close to playing it by the book.” Carlos admitted quietly, dropping his gaze to the dull blue hospital linens, having a sudden urge to pick at them but TK only tightened his grip on his hand. “It hit a nerve, I guess, when my father told me my instincts may have been wrong. I kept on thinking if I didn’t let that man go today, if things would have gone differently.”

He didn’t look up, and he knew that TK would wait until he was ready. His boyfriend was surprisingly patient in times like these, and it was a source of comfort Carlos could always trust in.

“If you had arrested him, you would have – “ TK’s voice cracked at the end, but swallowed it down and continued, “you would have died. You, your partner, and whoever was nearby. You would have all died.”

Carlos hadn’t visited that part of what could have happened thoroughly yet. Certainly, he wouldn’t be here if he had played by the book earlier today, and who knows what would have happened after. The bank robbers would still be free, they would have just hired someone else to do the job, and the world would have moved forward.

Without him in it.

It was definitely something that he should probably talk about, and he will.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that now. But then? All I knew was that I could have made a terrible mistake just from trusting my instincts, and I – I started to doubt myself.” Carlos admitted quietly and TK must hear the resignation in his tone.

“Carlos…”

“But I didn’t.” Carlos continued, looking up now, and he didn’t know what his eyes were portraying but it had TK’s widen slightly. “I didn’t play by the book. I chose to follow my gut and I’m ��� I don’t regret it. I would do it a thousand times over. Your father was right, our guts are what we take out there in the field, and I should trust it.” Carlos could see TK starting to smile, and it was impossible not to smile back.

“He also said we should have a heart behind our shield.”

TK’s smile widened, and his eyes were filling with emotion the longer they stared at each other. Carlos tilted his head slightly when TK pressed a hand to his heart, patting the spot gently.

“And you have a damn good one.” TK whispered fondly. Carlos let out a wet chuckle, taking the hand that was pressed to his heart to kiss his knuckles. He let his lips rest there, a physical reminder of what he could have lost today creeping in on him, before leaning his forehead against the warm hand, smiling helplessly.

“What?” TK tilted his head adoringly, and Carlos looked up to meet his gaze.

“I just really love you.”

He falls in love all over again at the elated smile that lights up TK’s face every time he says that, endeared by the shy edges to it as if he could never grow tired of hearing it.

“I love you too.”

Carlos took that moment to scoot just a little closer, lifting an arm to wrap around TK’s mid-section to lean in further. He was completely content in just staying like this until the doctors approved of TK’s discharge, but they hadn’t been staring at each other very long when TK’s brows furrowed slightly. Carlos was immediately on alert.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry I missed dinner.” TK lamented, looking like he was almost a little frustrated at himself and Carlos raised an eyebrow.

“You were kidnapped, pistol-whipped, and almost shot. I think that gives you a free pass, babe.” Carlos teased, chuckling quietly as TK groaned, shooting him an amused glare.

“You do know that your glares don’t work on me? I’ve since built an immunity to them, and all they do is make you look more adorable than you already are.” Carlos smirked, not even dodging the light hit TK landed on his shoulder.

“Don’t talk to me as if I don’t know what I look like. My head’s practically a bloated marshmallow.” TK said pointedly, but Carlos wasn’t deterred.

“So, soft and cute?”

TK shot him an unimpressed glare, looking like he wanted to roll his eyes but remembered how much his head wound had protested at that the last time he tried and held back.

“Only you can find me cute lying in a hospital bed like this.”

“You’re always cute, no matter where you are or what you’re doing.” Carlos reminded, eyebrows lifting as if challenging him to continue and TK merely shook his head slightly, an exasperated smile on his lips.

“You really need to stop being so sappy right in front of my concussion.”

“Never.”

Leaning in, Carlos pressed a light kiss to TK’s lips, grinning when he tried to chase him as he pulled back, the lips he had just been kissing already forming a light pout.

“I go missing for hours and you won’t even give me kisses?” Carlos snorted at that, narrowing his eyes at the playful glint in TK’s gaze.

“Playing the kidnapping card? Really Strand?”

“Gotta keep you entertained somehow in spite of everything.”

Carlos smiled, leaning down to gently kiss the corner of TK’s lips, much to his weak protest.

“Not in spite of.”

TK frowned, a questioning look in his eyes as Carlos reached up to delicately run his fingers through TK’s hair. Looking into the green eyes that caught him heart and soul ever since their first meeting in the rain, Carlos felt his body fill with warmth.  

“I’m here, and I love you because.”

~.~

“You didn’t eat the pasta.”

Carlos locked the front door and turned to see that TK was staring at the dinner layout spread before him. He vaguely remembered being in such a frenzied rush to the Strand house that all he remembered was to blow out the candles, leaving everything else exactly where they were before he had sped out the door.

“You didn’t come home. I would never have started without you.” Carlos frowned. The very thought of eating without TK felt wrong in every aspect, and toed off his shoes, placing them neatly beside TK’s by the entranceway before padding over.

The pasta had gone cold, the sauce looking a little hardened against the spaghetti noodles. The salad was looking a little dry as the dressing no doubt seeped into the vegetable leaves and sinking to the bottom of the bowl.

“Well, let’s eat it now!”

At TK’s sudden exclamation, Carlos blinked rapidly, looking down at the slightly worse-for-wear food laid out before them to TK and back again.

“Now?” Carlos knew he sounded incredulous, which was only further emphasized by TK’s affirmative nod. “Ty, it’s – “ Briefly glancing at the clock, he continued, “four am in the morning.”

“And?”

Carlos couldn’t help a surprised laugh, his boyfriend’s eagerness to eat the food he had spent a better part of his day cooking slowly rubbing off on him. TK was already padding forward slowly towards the setup, no doubt wanting to heat it up, but Carlos laid a gentle hand on his arm, guiding him towards the couch instead.

“I’m pretty sure your mom already fed you a year’s worth of Matzo ball soup. How are you still hungry?” Carlos mused, his lips twitching in amusement when TK groaned when he realized he was not-so-subtly arranged on the couch comfortably.

“I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten much. If at all.” TK looked at him pointedly, and Carlos couldn’t exactly deny that. He had grabbed a coffee, maybe had a few bites himself of the soup that Gwyn had almost force-fed him too and that had been it.

Hunger had been the last thing on his mind, and in truth, he honestly hadn’t really felt it.

“Spaghetti at twilight. How romantic.” Carlos mused, pushing off the couch to head to the kitchen when a hand caught his wrist.

“I love your cooking.”

Carlos looked down at TK who was staring up at him, a sudden serious look on his face that had him falter in his steps.

“You know that, right?” TK asked, looking a little worried now, and Carlos immediately nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. You’ve never shied away from telling me, and the noises you make sometimes should be illegal.” Carlos loved how he could always make TK smile, and the soft smile that the man propped up on the couch was currently donning had his stomach flip pleasantly.

“Your cooking brings me comfort. You bring me comfort.” TK bit his lip, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek in that tell-tale manner of when he was trying to find his words. Carlos, frankly, has forgotten every single word he has ever learned in life when he realized what TK was implying.

“I will always want to eat your cooking. It’s – it’s comfort, it’s home.”

The hug was sudden, and he hadn’t even realized he had moved until he realized one moment he was standing, the next he was crouching next to the couch with TK in his arms. He felt lips gently press a kiss to the crook of his neck, and Carlos absently wondered how his life had suddenly turned a meaningful 180 with just one fateful meeting.

“You’re my comfort too.” Carlos whispered, squeezing TK a little tighter, smiling shakily when the latter didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. “When I think of home, you’re the first and last person that appears in my mind.”

TK let out a shiver at that, and Carlos pulled back slowly to run his thumbs along TK’s cheeks, the softness of the skin making his heart ache. And when TK reached up to grasp his wrists carefully, he couldn’t help but lean forward for a gentle press of their lips.

“But your cooking still has my vote pending.” Carlos let out a smirk before stepping out of their hold on each other to actually head to the kitchen, grinning when he hears a sound of offended disbelief from the living room.

“Rude!”

As he heats up their intended dinner, Carlos glances back at the couch where TK was still glaring at the pillow in his lap, muttering something under his breath. Shaking his head in fond amusement, he was about to re-toss the salad when TK’s phone that he had forgotten on the kitchen counter lit up with a call from an unknown number.

“TK! Your phone’s ringing, do you mind if I pick up?” Carlos called, and TK made a sound of affirmation. Picking up the device, Carlos pressed on the green ‘accept call’ button before lifting it to his ear.

“Hello?”

 The steady rhythm of raindrops falling suddenly sounded louder than anything in the world, the gray haze permeating through his thoughts as the onslaught of words slowly pieced together in his head.  

His grip on the phone slipped, eyes widening when the voice on the phone relayed news that he had never prepared to imagine, a call he had never been prepared to receive.

He could hear TK calling his name in concern and looked up to see a pair of worried green eyes fixated on him.

Swallowing thickly, Carlos let out a shuddering breath.

“Something’s happened to Judd and Grace.”

[detectivereyes]

I’ll Fall Back Into You, Like I Always Do

Summary: Carlos falls off the bed because TK has no spacial awareness when he sleeps

Note: inspired by a few anons that asked about my opinions on tarlos sleeping habits, and by @howtosingit ‘s own posts on the subject.

Beta’d by my faves - @marjansmarwani and @firefighterstrand

read on ao3

Blinking away the darkness only to find more darkness and the staticy mess of implied colour where his brain tried to process his abysmal visual intake, Carlos is confused at first. Taking in the dark shapes of his bedroom, he tries to piece together what woke him up when he feels TK softly breathing next to him, pressed up against his side.

He smiles looking at the other man. He learned quickly once they started spending the night together that TK enjoyed the close contact while he slept. While they would start the night on their respective sides of the bed, TK would inevitably end up curled up against Carlos, absorbing all of the heat radiating from his body. Not that Carlos minded, but when it got to the point that it pulled him out of his deep sleep he would be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly annoyed.

As he closes his eyes to try and return to his previous restful state, he feels a shove from his side as TK spreads out more. Carlos tries to shift to give him more room, but as he rolls over expecting to have more room, he suddenly finds himself in a freefall off the side of the bed.

Though his bed is not that high off the ground, the distance feels twice as long as his body falls through the air before meeting the floor, with most of his weight coming down on his right ankle.

“Shit,” he quietly curses under his breath. He shifts up to a seated position, and peaks over the bed to see TK completely sprawled out across the bed. He can’t decide whether to laugh or roll his eyes.

He tries to suppress the groan that escapes his mouth as he moves his ankle. He must not do a very good job because at the small noise, TK begins to stir.

“Carlos?” He opens his eyes sleepily. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Because you pushed me off,” Carlos replies, trying his best to mask the wince as he pushes the rest of his body off the floor and rolls back onto the bed.

TK furrows his brow and scoots closer to Carlos. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Carlos gives him a reassuring smile. “Go back to sleep, babe”

“Okay,” TK mumbles into Carlos, pressing a soft kiss into his neck before rolling back over onto his side of the bed.

Carlos’ smile eagerly drops as soon as TK has his back to him. The throbbing in his ankle has not let up, even after he moved onto the bed. He closes his eyes, hoping that with rest it will get better. 

Maybe if he sleeps well enough, it will be completely fine when he wakes up.

At least he can hope.

The next time he blinks his eyes open, he finds his bedroom now flooded with sunlight. 

It doesn’t take long after that for him to notice the soreness radiating throughout his body, but the worst by far is the ache in his ankle. It isn’t until he feels TK shifting against him, once again finding his place pressed up against Carlos’ side that the memories from just a few hours earlier come flooding back.

He tries to shift slightly without disturbing TK too much but it doesn’t work. He feels TK’s long lashes fluttering against his side, signaling that the other man is now waking up.

“Good morning,” Carlos greets him, running his fingers through TK’s bed head to further wake him.

TK moans into Carlos' side before bringing his head up and resting it on Carlos’ chest. “Hi,” he replies with a sleepy smile. He moves his head to press some soft kisses to Carlos’ stomach, fully taking advantage of the fact that Carlos always sleeps shirtless. Even if he was cold enough to wear a shirt, Carlos would never do it now just because it would prevent TK from getting as close to him as physically possible.

Working his way up to the top of Carlos’ chest, he stops short of the other man’s neck and pouts. “I have to shower since I wasn’t able to grab one when I got off shift yesterday,” his pout morphs into a coy smile. “Though, you could always join me?”

Carlos wants to say yes. He loves the thought of standing under the hot shower with TK, letting the warm water soothe his aching body. But he also is unsure of how bad his ankle really is, having only used it to move from the floor to the bed. Additionally, he knows that TK would be able to tell something was wrong right away and his overprotective boyfriend would likely freak out and insist on him seeing a doctor. Something that Carlos would prefer to avoid for something as minor as what’s probably only a sprained ankle.

“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’m just going to put a pot of coffee on,” he says, ignoring TK’s playful pout at his response. “Make it a quick shower and maybe I’ll have a hot breakfast ready for you when you get out.”

“You drive a hard bargain Carlos Reyes, but I’m sold,” TK smiles, pressing one last kiss to Carlos’ lips before pushing himself off the bed and disappearing out of the room and into the bathroom.

With TK out of sight, Carlos takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut. He can only hope that the pain he’s been suppressing while in TK’s presence isn’t as bad as he thinks it is. If he’s still in bed when TK gets out of the shower, the other man is sure to figure out something’s up.

Mustering up all his strength, Carlos forces his body out of his comfortable bed and swings his legs over the side. He stands up carefully, testing exactly how much weight he can put on his ankle before the pain is too unbearable. 

Not much weight, he soon realizes when he sees stars upon taking the first step. 

But he can do this. He tells himself it’s just a minor sprain. 

Or not so minor; if the throbbing pain in each step is any indication. 

He contemplates slipping on the sweatpants draped over the chair, but he realizes that would require more steps walking across the room. So he settles for staying in his boxers for the time being and limps his way out of the bedroom.

He makes it to the top of the stairs before sighing and shifting some of his weight to the top of the railing. He mentally curses at himself for picking the condo that had stairs. Though he loves the loft aesthetic of his home, the feature was soon proving to do more harm than good. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he takes the first step down and confirms his worst fears. Yes, the stairs are not doing his ankle any favors. Grimacing, he slowly makes his way down the staircase, doing his best to only put minimal weight on his ankle and relying heavily on the railing he is now thankful he put in.

He reaches the bottom of the stairs and limps across the living room and into the kitchen. With each step, he finds the pain in his ankle to only get worse. But he powers through, turning on the coffee brewer before moving over to the fridge and grabbing two eggs to crack over the pan on the stove. He would normally come up with something fancier for breakfast, but he figures scrambled eggs are the easiest choice and require the least amount of movement around the space.

A few minutes later, he’s setting two spots at the table with a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast. Just in time to spot TK coming down the stairs, shaking the water droplets out of his wet hair and dressed in Carlos’ favorite blue hoodie that’s faded from one-too many washes, and a pair of tight black jeans.

When he spots Carlos standing in the kitchen in nothing but his underwear, TK smiles. “I see we decided not to get dressed today.”

“It is our day off after all,” Carlos smirks. “And I personally think you are wearing too much clothing for my liking.”

“I guess we’ll have to see what we can do about that,” TK says with a raise of his eyebrows.

Carlos laughs and shakes his head, before moving to grab the two cups of coffee off the counter and place them on the table with their breakfast. When he looks up at TK again, he finds that the other man has moved closer and the smile has fallen from his face.

“You’re limping,” he notes with concern evident in his voice.

“Am I?”

“Yeah, what happened?”

Carlos bites his lip, shifting uncomfortably. He doesn’t necessarily want to admit that he sustained the injury as a result of TK’s sleeping habits, knowing that his boyfriend would be overcome with guilt if he knew the truth. Unfortunately his poker face isn’t as great as he wishes it was, and he waits too long to answer, noticing how TK’s face contorts as he puts the pieces together.

“Did this happen when you fell off the bed last night?”

“You mean when you pushed me off the bed?” Carlos jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood, but the concerned look doesn’t leave TK’s face. 

“I hurt you,” TK says quietly.

“Hey,” he reaches over and grabs TK’s hand to reassure him. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“Can I take a look at it?”

Carlos nods and TK slides up next to him, draping his arm around Carlos’ broad shoulders and helping him over to the couch.

“Our breakfast is going to get cold,” Carlos says as TK pulls his ankle up to take a closer look at the joint.

“We can heat it up later. You should not have been walking on this. It looks really swollen, Carlos.”

“I didn’t notice.”

TK gives him a look that screams I don’t buy your bullshit. “Really? You didn’t notice that your right ankle is purple and nearly twice the size as your left?”

“Yeah?” Carlos gives him a small smile.

TK shakes his head. “Get dressed, I’m taking you to get checked out at the hospital.”

“Okay, now that’s an overreaction, TK. It’s just a bad sprain.”

“I don’t know,” TK hesitates, pressing his lips together and studying Carlos carefully.

Carlos gives him a pleading look. “You just checked it out and I’m sure it’s fine. I have an ice pack in the freezer that will help with the swelling and some compression bandages in the bathroom cabinet.”

“Fine,” TK sighs in defeat before getting up and heading to the bathroom to grab the bandages and stopping in the kitchen on the way back to grab the ice pack. He hands the cold blue pack to Carlos and places the bandages on the coffee table. “We’ll ice it for a little and then when the swelling goes down, I can wrap it for you.”

Carlos nods, hissing at the cold contact on his swollen joint. Instead of TK sitting down next to him, Carlos watches as the other man moves back into the kitchen. He stares at him confused, before realizing what he’s up to when he grabs the plates off the table, bringing them into the living room and does the same with their coffee mugs.

“Thank you,” Carlos graciously accepts his cup. 

They eat their now luke-warm breakfast in silence for the most part, with only the sounds of the forks scratching the plate and the occasional clink of one of their mugs sitting back on the table after a sip filling the space. 

As they finish up, TK leans over and removes the ice pack to take a look at Carlos’ ankle. “I think the swelling has gone down a little. Want me to wrap it now?”

“Okay,” Carlos agrees and watches as TK moves to grab the badges and slowly begins to softly wrap his ankle. “You don’t have to feel bad about this, you know. It’s not your fault.”

“It kinda is.”

“You were asleep.”

“Still,” TK shrugs as he finishes winding up the bandage. “I had no idea how much I moved in my sleep. I literally pushed you out of your own bed, Carlos.” “Yeah, but if you’re asleep then there’s no way for you to be aware of it.”

“Well, I’m still sorry,” he says leaning into Carlos’ larger frame. 

“You shouldn’t have to apologize, but I do forgive you,” Carlos says, wrapping his arm around TK. “But maybe I’ll rethink how my room is set up and rearrange it so my side of the bed is pressed against the wall.”

“Might not be a bad idea,” TK chuckles, snuggling closer to Carlos.