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strangeannamaul · 1 year ago

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Lasso's Ranch

(a sesame street/Mr Rogers AU)

Sadia Crimm sits criss-cross applesauce in front of her TV with her notepad and pen, in rapt attention as the theme song begins. She wiggles her toes in rhythm with the twangy fiddle and guitar that introduces every episode of Lasso's Ranch.

"Daddy! Hurry up, you're gonna miss the buck-uh-rooooo!"

Trent yawns as he comes in from the kitchen, carrying a freshly brewed tea. His hair is still a mess from sleep and he's wearing his housecoat and sleep clothes. It had been another late night writing for his newest novel, and he was feeling it this morning.

"I'm right here, darling."

He sits back in the couch and clutches his rainbow Snoopy mug like a lifeline as the cheerful television host comes on screen.

"How d'ya do, Buckaroos!?" The man cheerfully greets the camera and pauses with a grin.

"How daya do, Farmer Teddy!" Sadia shouts back, along with the pre-recorded childrens voices on the program.

The host walks through a stage set of what Trent assumes is a cartoonish pantomime of small town Americana. As Teddy greets each puppet chicken, cow, and dog in song, Trent sips his tea and let's his mind wander. The show had been another attempt to bring the success of Sesame Street to a British market after the limited run success of Furchester Hotel. The educational content was accurate and easy for children to understand, which made up for the cartoonish accent of the host and his ridiculous outfit. If Trent was being perfectly honest, though, the tan canvas jacket, plaid button down, cowboy boots and wrangler jeans combo actually did him more than a few favours. As a business model, it kinda worked. Bright colours and music for the kids, science and eye candy for the parents.

"Today on the ranch, we're getting ready for a big snowfall. Do you know where snow comes from?" A pause. "That's right, snow falls from clouds in the sky!"

Farmer Teddy goes on to explain the lake effect to the audience, as a puppet cloud crosses the screen picking up puppet water drops as they rise on sticks from behind a tank of water that is meant to represent the great lakes, somehow turning into snowflakes and dropping back down on the other side.

Sadia scribbles furiously in her notebook. She doesn't yet know how to spell, so mainly her notes consist of random letters and pictures of clouds, but it still makes Trent feel incredibly sentimental.

"let's give a big thank you to Mister Nimbostratus and the precipa-posse for helping me with that demonstration. Thank you, fellas!" he ends his lesson.

"Any time, Farmer Teddy! Toodaloo, buckaroos!" the cloud salutes a felt arm to his cloudy forehead and the puppets walk off screen.

Off-screen, there's a loud jangle from a telephone.

"Do you hear that Buckaroos? Sounds like someone's giving us a ring-a-ding-ding!"

The host walks up the porch steps and through the front door, and the scene cuts to his livingroom set. Next, he sits down to remove his boots and jacket, then slips on a pair of flashy trainers and pullover. Trent barely registers the phone song he sings, momentarily entranced by the tendril of hair that is disturbed when Farmer Teddy pulls the jumper over his head.

"Today's call comes from Sadia in Richmond. How'dya do, buckaroo?"

"Howdy, Mister Teddy!"

Trent recognizes his daughters voice, and it pulls him from his thoughts.

"Sadia, when did you call Farmer Ted?"

"Nana and Papa helped me do it. Is that okay?"

"Uh, yeah," Trent stutters out, "I just wished they had asked me first, that's all darling. It's okay."

She turns her attention back to the screen.

"How can Farmer Teddy help you today, Sadia?"

"I have a question about feelings."

"Sounds like a good question for the Diamond Dogs. Should we call them, Sadia?"

"Yes, please, Mister Teddy," she politely answers.

"You have very good manners, Miss Sadia. Okay, you heard her. Diamond dogs, mount up!!"

Four puppet dogs come bouncing in from all corners of the set, barking and yipping, and Farmer Teddy joins in with a couple barks of his own.

When the barking dies down, Farmer Teddy urges her to go ahead with her question.

"Well, sometimes I feel like I'm happy and sad at the same time. My mummy and daddy don't live together anymore because he is gay, and sometimes I miss my daddy when I'm at mums, or I miss my mummy when I'm at dads. How do I stay happy like you, when I miss one of them?"

Something briefly flashes across Farmer Teddy's face, almost indistinguishable, but he stays in character.

"Separation is always tricky. Your big feelings are normal and valid, and missing someone just shows how much you love them. It sounds like you love your mom and dad very much."

"I do! Mummy dances with me in the kitchen and daddy reads the best stories to me!"

"That sounds like mighty good folks you have. You know, when I miss my son, I like to think of the happy memories we shared just like that and it makes it feel a little less sad. I bet if you shared your feelings with your parents, they would also have some good ideas to help you when you miss them."

"I don't want to hurt their feelings though. If I say that I miss one of them, what if they think they aren't enough?"

Trent is fully awake now, like an ice water bucket had been dumped over his head.

The Higgins puppet, a collie with a dress shirt and tie, speaks next. "Your parents love you, they won't be hurt if you open up to them."

"That's right, I think they will support you if you give them the chance!" Nate the Great Dane agrees.

The other dogs, a German shepard with thick black eyebrows, and a brownish red terrier with a beard murmur in the affirmative as well and Farmer Ted nods.

"Thank you, Mister Teddy. Thank you, diamond dogs!"

"You're very welcome, miss Sadia. It was very brave of you to talk about your feelings. We're all honoured as can be to help you."

The show moves on to another segment, where they show the kids how to build their own weather sock, and then finished with all the farm animals being read a goodnight story as the snow falls. Trent turns the show off and pulls his daughter into his lap.

"Is that true, you felt like you couldn't tell me when you miss mummy cause you thought it would hurt my feelings?"

She nods her head.

"Oh, darling. You can always tell me anything. Its perfectly okay to miss us."

He kisses her on the temple and hugs her snugly.

"I know this has been a tough adjustment. Mummy and daddy will talk about ways you can see us more, no matter who you are staying with. Does that sound good?"

Her face lights up and the brightness of it warms Trent like a furnace for the love and pride he feels for her. Later that evening, after he had put Sadia to bed, he calls Molly and they make a plan to do nightly FaceTimes and eat dinner as a family once a week alternating houses.

(10 months later)

"Come ON daddy, hurry!"

Sadia pulls his hand, weaving them through the other pedestrians as they make their way to the book store. Farmer Teddy was doing a storytime tour and they had gotten tickets for when he was going to be at the inkwell.

The bookstore is crowded; about fourty children are seated around the tiny makeshift stage, and their parents stand around the perimeter in a semicircle. Farmer Teddy steps forward to get them all and read the stories, with animated inflection and gives each character a voice, as he does on the show. Afterwards, a bearded man with a guitar joins him, along with a boy a few years older than his daughter. The boy passes a tambourine to Farmer Teddy.

"I'm honoured to have this very special guest here to sing with us today, my son Henry. This song is very special to us and we wanted to share it with everyone here today. Hopefully it can help some of you the way it helped us. Grownups, if you know the words, please join in."

The bearded man begins playing, and they start singing Hey Jude. Some of the parents reluctantly join in, but by the nah-nahs at the end, the whole room has been swept up into the song.

"Alright, that's all the show we have for you folks today, I just need to take a five minute break and then I'll be here till closing to meet everyone one on one. Thank you for being such a great crowd!"

The trio disappear through the backroom doors as parents begin to shuffle to reclaim their children and form a queue.

"Daddy, can I go see mummy in the back?"

"We can see mum, but we have to leave Farmer Teddy alone. He deserves to take his break without us bothering him, okay?"

"I promise."

Trent follows his daughter through the doors and sees her disappear into Molly's office. He doesn't mean to eavesdrop but the storeroom isn't very big.

"How ya doing, bud?"

He recognizes the voice as Farmer Teddy, familiar but his speech was in a more normal cadence and tinged with a little nervousness.

"I'm good, dad. It's just a lot of people."

A pause.

"I know, it can be pretty overwhelming. Would you like to go back to the flat with Uncle Willis for the afternoon? I can join you and your mom around 5 and I'm all yours for the rest of the week. Promise."

A sniffle, another pause.

"Uhm, yeah, I can do that dad."

"I'm really sorry Henry, I know this wasn't the plan. Thank you for being here with me for this today. I love you, bud. More than anything."

He hugs the boy, and then straightens back to standing. The bearded man hugs him as well and gives him a pat on the back.

"We got this Ted, don't worry."

"Thanks, I appreciate you."

Trent stands there awkwardly, not sure what to do. He considers if it would be best to try to slip into the office undetected or announce his presence, but the decision is made for him a moment later as Sadia reemerges with Molly in tow.

"Hello, Mr. Lasso. Thank you again for appearing here today, it's a privelage to be hosting this event."

The men break their hug, and the bearded man guides the boy out the back doors.

He takes a shakey breath and then beams at her.

"Pleasure is all mine. Independent bookstores like this are invaluable. And who is this?"

He crouches down once again to greet Trent's daughter.

"This is my daughter, Sadia Crimm. Her father should be somewhere around here...ah yes, right over there."

Ted turns to where Molly is pointing. Miraculously, Trent finally regains the use of his legs to walk over, join them and offer his hand to shake.

"Trent Crimm. My daughter is a big fan of the show, so it's quite the honour to meet you today Mr. Lasso."

"That's awfully kind of you to say, sir, but you can just call me Ted."

He lets go of Trents hand and turns his attention back to the little girl.

"Sadia, you have a lovely name."

"Thank you, Mister Teddy."

"You're very welcome. Tell me, did the advice we gave you help you talk to your mom and dad about your feelings?"

The polite smile Trent had had on his face drops away as the mortification sets in. Not only did he have an embarrassing crush on a children's entertainer, but said man remembered that his daughter called about his divorce and coming out.

"Yes, thank you Mister Teddy. Mummy and daddy call me every night so I always see them both every day."

She isn't usually affectionate with adults she just meets but Sadia wraps her arms around Ted's neck, and he has to quickly put a hand out to steady himself from falling over before hugging back.

"Sadia, please be gentle. I'm sorry Mi- uh...Ted. And err, thank you for answering her call. We watched that episode together and it led to some very good conversations. It really helped."

"Shucks, Trent. I mean I try my best. I'm glad I was able to make a difference. Divorce is hard, and I've been where you are. Harder still when you have a kid caught in between."

Before he could think too long on what that means, Molly speaks up.

"Sorry to cut this short but it's time to start the meet and greet."

Ted stands up again with a groan and stretches, and Trent tries his best to not blush at the sound. Unfortunately, he doesn't think he was that lucky and he swears he catches Ted wink at him, although it could've been a trick of the light.

Ted smiles at him. "I'm busy this week visiting with my son, but I would like to chat again before I have to go to the next stop on the tour. Are you free next Thursday?"

Trent doesn't say anything, just glances at Molly. She rolls her eyes and gestures from Trent to Ted, silently telling him say yes, you idiot.

"Uh, I can do Thursday. Yeah. A drink? Or uhm, lunch?"

"I'm not much of a drinker these days but I would like to take you for dinner, if you'd be amenable?"

"Dinner. Yeah. Okay, see you then!"

Ted smiles at him then tips an imaginary hat to Molly. "Duty calls."

With that, he turns and walks back out the doors.

"Breathe, Trent." Molly laughs at him.

He takes a deep breath and blinks.

"What just happened? I think I blacked out."

"I think that Ted Lasso just asked you on a date."

Trent scoffs. "Nonsense. It's probably a friendly hangout. Or a polite but empty offer that he had no plans on following through on. I didn't even get his number."

Molly rolls her eyes.

"You let me worry about that. You can take this one to the park while I get back to running my shop."

9pm that evening:

Trent is lying in bed, emailing pages to his editor and doing his required social media posting as part of the marketing plan for his upcoming novel. The room is dark, except for the blue square of light coming from his phone to Illuminate his face. It's then he recieves a text.

(Text ted to trent)

Hello Trent! I got your number from your ex-wife. Sorry about running out of there without taking care of the details. Busy afternoon!

(Text ted to trent)

What kind of food do you like? I admit I'm not super familiar with Richmond yet but I do like the food at this pub around the corner, Crown and Anchor. Do you know it?

Ok, so it wasn't an empty invitation. He still didn't know why the man had invited him out. A pub didn't exactly scream romantic intentions, but he would be lying if he said he'd never had a date at one before.

(Text Trent to Ted)

I know it. Shall we meet there for eight?

(Text Ted to Trent)

You bet, bobba fett.

(Text Ted to Trent)

Looking forward to it.

(Text Ted to Trent)

I'm absolutely bushed though, gonna hit the hay. Night night!

Trent felt an unbidden bubble of excitement and let his phone fall to his chest with a smile. He tries to temper his hopes by reminding himself he still has no idea the reason for the invite. It still takes him another hour to settle for sleep that night, and for the rest of the week he has a bounce in his step that his ex-wife only teases him about on days that end in y.

Finally Thursday night comes around. Trent chats on FaceTime with Molly as he checks himself out in the mirror again.

"I don't know. You sure it's not too much for crown and anchor?"

"You look dashing, Trent. He's going to be blown away, and if he isn't then he's an idiot."

He wears a patterned orange and brown sort of paisley inspired koi blouse with the top buttons undone so that a decent peak of his chest is bare. On his wrists he's layered multiple bracelets and has a statement turquoise ring on one hand. His trousers are cream, high waisted and with dramatic wide legs.

"I'm more worried about me looking like an idiot."

"Don't you dare get cold feet now! You March down to that pub and have a nice meal and a pint with a handsome man and have a good time!"

"Love you too, Molly. Ok, wish me luck."

"Good luck!"

Trent arrives about five minutes early, and scans the room. It's a quiet evening, only a handful of patrons tonight. In a booth to the right, he locks eyes with Ted, who bolts upright with a smile and stands as Trent walks over. Ted had traded his wranglers and boots for a dark wash denim and dress shoes. He wore a navy blue dress shirt that looked like it had been tailored for him as it showed off his althletic build.

"You made it!"

Ted says it as if he had been worried Trent would have stood him up and like he's relieved he hasn't been.

"As did you."

Ted smiles, and his eyes drop briefly to the open collar.

"You look good. Uhm nice. I like your outfit."

Ted runs his hands through his hair at the base of his neck, as he awkwardly compliments Trent. Tick one for this being a date.

"You look good too. Shall we order?"

Ted nods and they sit down, and are promptly greeted by Mae, who takes their orders and disappears again. For what feels like a full minute, neither of them says anything.

"So-" "Wh-"

They choose the same moment to begin to say something, and then laugh at the awkwardness.

"I'm terribly sorry, you go first."

"No really, you go right ahead and say what you were gonna say."

"Honestly, I'm not even sure what I was going to say. This as entirely unfamiliar situation for me, I've never been invited to dinner by someone I only know from television."

Trent sees him flinch.

"What I mean is, I know you're work but I don't know you, so I don't really know where to begin the conversation or why you are interested in talking to me at all. "

Ted's shoulders relax again.

"Well, not sure if this helps or hurts but I could say the same to you. Your ex-wife gave me some homework for the week, unintended of course. She let slip that you're a writer, and I ended up on a deep dive of what my internet searching told me was some of your best work. I just wanted to get a sense of who you were but it was such a good novel that I read another and then another after that. You have a real talent for imagery, sir."

"You...read my work?"

Ted nods.

"Sure did. Now romance isn't my usual genre but let me tell you I was cheering when the protagonist would finally get with his love interest every time, once I remembered how to breathe again. I had no idea a bit of reading could do that to a fella, not least of all his blood pressure. I've always said the written word is a powerful thing, but wowee do you set the bar."

"Oh, uh, thank you."

Trent blinks in surprise. Of all the revelations he thought this night might reveal, he hadn't forseen that Ted would have read his queer erotica. Not just read it, but enjoyed it.

"I write other things too. Some biographies, a couple mysteries. It's not all just... that. They were cathartic when I first was trying to understand aspects of my own life and later when I came out and people responded well so I just... Kept writing them."

Trent fidgets with his napkin. He isn't embarrassed, because he is proud of is writing, but he does feel uneasy with being so seen. Those novels are the most emotionally vulnerable of all his work, each one taking no small amount of courage to voice his desires to the universe. Ted reaches across the table to put his hand on Trent's.

"Well count me as a fan. You've got a beautiful way with words, Trent."

"That's kind of you to say. I-"

Ted gives him a moment to finish his sentence, but when it's clear Trent has thought better, he gently presses.

"What were you about to say?"

"It's nothing; it's stupid."

"I doubt that the mind responsible for writing a love as real and compelling as Stephen and Daniel had in that royal court series has any stupid ideas. Go ahead, I promise I won't judge."

*Oh god, THOSE are the books he read?* Trent thinks. Royal Court was his most popular series, but it was also a thinly veiled self-insert of everything Trent had ever dreamed his ideal romance could ever be, treason plots and high tea aside. He definitely didn't want to read too deeply into why they had resonated with Ted.

"It's just that you don't seem like my typical demographic, I don't have many readers that are.."

"What, American? Or childrens TV personalities?" Ted finishes.

"... straight."

Fuck, it's out there now. The bubble of what if and circumstantial proof he'd built up in his mind to imagine this was a date was finally going to be popped. He'd shown his cards and Ted was going to let him down easily. Taking a deep breath, he awaits the inevitable rejection.

Ted chuckles a little, but then stops at the look of pain on Trent's face.

"No you're right, sorry, not funny. Look, maybe this is just a clash of cultures thing but where I'm from if a fella meets another fella and then he asks that fella to dinner, and he doesn't clarify it as business, that's a good indication he's angling for a date. I wasn't sure you'd be interested, but I was sure interested in finding out. Doubly so after I read your books. What part of that did you get straight from?"

Trent covers his face with his hands, and groans in embarrassment.

"You were married to a woman and you have a child together. I assumed."

Ted chuckles again. "You have an ex-wife and a child."

"Point taken. Look, I'm really sorry I made any assumptions. Can we start over?"

"No harm, no foul, Simon Cowell. If it's all the same to you though, I like where this thing we got going on is at now. Seems like a shame to let all this progress go just to start at the beginning."

Trent searches his face for any indication of negative reaction but all he sees is a genuinely pleased smile, the sparkle of amusement in his eyes, mixed with a look of hunger that Trent finds thrilling.

"Alright. Onwards, forwards."

"I like that, might have to take that."

"Might let you."

Their banter is interrupted by the arrival of their food, and the conversation flows naturally until they're the last people in the pub. Mae gently (but firmly) sends them on their way, so they wander down the street together, arm in arm, neither willing to call it the end of the night, until Ted stops in front of a white door. He grabs Trent's hand when he keeps walking, to stop him, but doesn't let go once Trent has stopped too.

"This is me."

He looks at Trent with a silent plea in his eyes.

"Oh."

A silent moment stretches between them as either tries to read the intentions of the other.

"You could -"

"Yes."

Trent interrupts, and launches forward to crash their lips together. Ted responds in kind, and pulls him by the waist against the door, fumbling with the keys until it finally clicks open and they stumble through the entryway.

#fanfic #alternate universe #tedtrent #tedependent #fluff #getting together #ao3 may be down but love never dies #i refuse to learn fanficdotnet

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