#the frog goes ribbit

[melodyfrogface]

“if fortnite is so good, why haven’t they made fivenite?”

they already did it’s at freddys

[froggirltongue]

Transfems with eyes bigger than their stomachs ordering subway be like “ohh i could totally take two six inchers rn”

My sister in christ you’re not gonna eat that much food please just get one I know you think “oh i’ll just put it in the fridge for later” but its gonna get gross and soggy cause you get oil and dressing and mayo on it like at least just ask for the condiments on the side for once please

[melodyfrogface]

me at work trying to act neurotypical

My disguise fucking sucks and i am going to get killed

[melodyfrogface]

Computergirl with a 34inch 4k UHD 240hz ultrawide curved monitor for a head, but she only ever emotes with ASCII characters and jpegs she downloaded in 2012 so you never get to see her specs at even a fraction of her potential

[melodyfrogface]

I made my own variant of that “[animal]hood is a spectrum” meme 🐸

[melodyfrogface]

Computergirl with a 34inch 4k UHD 240hz ultrawide curved 𝓒𝓸𝓬𝓴

[melodyfrogface]

I made a baja blast pride flag in three flavors; minty fresh, nice and saturated, and washed out! I also made emotes to go with them!

[froggirltongue]

her Debbie may be Little, but she still make my Brownie go Cosmic

[melodyfrogface]

I’m not “committed to the bit” i’m “committing psychological warcrimes”

shoutout to girls who do not understand the difference between ‘the bit’ and ‘waging psychological warfare’

[frogs00]

Janis made this one for you, don't be sad, we love you bro

OH MY GAUD IT'S A FROOG. IT'S BOOTIFUL! Well, thank you Janis :3

[melodyfrogface]

Every 3 hours and 59 minutes I stop having a boner so I can get a new one

[froggirltongue]

Saving this url because I wanna get in on the [x]girl[y] trend but idk if I’ll ever use this for anything

Go follow my main if you want @melodyfrogface

[birdbrainrots]

Every time it starts raining while I'm climbing I just get this song stuck in my head now

[setzeri]

Sad little frog goes "ribbit ribbit" on a rainy day.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Minecraft Part 2

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: *Observes ruined remains of once proud city Alien: What happened? Human: There was a spider and in my attempts to kill it things got out of hand. Alien: How does trying to kill a spider destroy your whole city? Human: I tried using fire. Alien: How much fire? Human: *Points to several dozen lava buckets used* Human: I want to say all the fire. ---------------------

Alien: Am I meeting you at your base? Human: Nah, I lost that one so I had to build a new one. Alien: Wait, how did you lose it? Human: Turns out piglin’s can walk through the ender portal into the above world. Alien: So? Alien: It’s not a problem if you- Alien: …….. Alien: wait, you didn’t seal off your portal room? Human: I did not. -------------------------

Alien: *walking through dying npc village* Alien: Wasn’t this place thriving last time we were here? Human: Yeah; probably fell apart when I diverted the river. Alien: You what?! Human: I didn’t like how it looked so I blocked it off and shifted it in a different direction. Alien: What gives you the right to destroy this innocent town? Human: Innocent? Human: Have you seen their trading rates? Human: Why would I pay 15 emeralds for an iron pickaxe? -----------------------

Alien: Why are you hiding? Human: I am being hunted by the deadliest creature in the game. Alien: *Intrigued* What is that? Human: *Points at looming shadow* There…. *Shadow takes shape and reveals itself to be a frog* Alien: Seriously? Frog: Ribbit. *Frog opens its mouth and shoots out to alien* *Tongue latches on to alien and eat him* Human: They never listen…… --------------------------

Alien: What the hell is this? Human: It’s my home. Alien: It’s made of dirt. Human: So? Alien: Why in the sixteen hells would you make your house out of dirt? Human: I mean, it’s everywhere. Alien: So are fraking trees! -----------------------------

Human: BEHOLD! Human: A TOWN MADE OUT OF IRON! Alien: Seems like a waste of iron. Alien: Why did you make this? Human: Because I wanted to make the golems protecting the town have an existential crisis as they ponder the question “Are we made out of the town, or is the town made out of us?” Alien: By the gods you should not be left alone with your thoughts for long. ------------------------------

Alien: *Finishes building village in middle of a lake* Alien: Finally! Alien: No mobs will be able to make it across the water to reach them! Human: Um…. Human: You do know about the underwater zombies, right? Alien: I’m sorry, the what? *Trident goes flying past head as swarms of underwater zombies emerge* -----------------------------

Alien: Why did you spend three weeks rearranging the landscape? Human: So I can go on long walks through it. Alien: That’s it? Alien: How can that possibly be worth the effort? Human: Join me and see. *Pair proceed to walk down a long intricate pathway with different color trees, rivers and waterfalls, mountain ranges and rolling hills* Alien: Damn. Alien: That was peaceful. Human: I know, right? -----------------------------

Alien: What are you doing? Human: Trading with the piglins. Alien: Why? Human: It’s fascinating watching them when you throw gold at them. Alien: Didn’t they destroy your city my swarming through the open ender portal? Human: Yes. Alien: And you’ve forgiven them for that? Human: Oh no. Human: I plan on sealing up their home area later on and then pouring buckets of lava into it from the highest places and watching them run, scream, and beg for their lives before the all-consuming flames devour their flesh. Human: But right now I find them amusing so I think I’ll pause on that plan for a day or two. Alien: ……………….. Alien: What your gods must think of you when they see such casual malice. Human: They learned long ago to leave us be. For we have learned that they topple just as easily as their temples, and their names cast to the sands of time beneath our feet.

[melodyfrogface]

receptionist at the omegaverse abortion clinic