#the french narrator

[battle-of-the-watchers]

ROUND 2 FIGHT 3: The French Narrator VS. Jonah Magnus

[sadboi-in-a-sweater]

hi i uhhhhh. Did a thing

Lore!

Info on The French Narrator (Butcher Vanity AU): Physical Description: The French Narrator from Bikini Bottom is a chillingly peculiar figure to behold. With a body seemingly tailored to blend into the depths of the ocean, he stands at an average human height, yet his presence looms large due to the bulky diving gear that envelops him. His copper diving helmet is a stark contrast to his otherwise sleek black wetsuit, which fits snugly and is adorned with a small French flag on one sleeve. The helmet, with its circular, glass window, allows for only the faintest glimpse of his crimson eyes, which pierce through the darkness like twin laser beams. Above this metal cranium, a red bowtie adds an eerie touch of elegance, while a matching beret sits atop, giving him an air of sophistication that starkly contrasts with his heinous deeds. His diving boots are robust and provide him the ability to navigate both land and sea with ease. His build is lanky yet surprisingly strong, which aids in his ability to overpower his unsuspecting victims. Despite the horrors he conceals, his exterior exudes a sense of charm and grace that belies the monster beneath. Personality: Beneath the calm and suave demeanor of the French Narrator lies a cunning and calculating mind. His soothing, yet thickly-accented French voice lulls those around him into a false sense of security, a trait he uses to his advantage as he weaves through the town unnoticed. He is highly intelligent, often speaking in riddles and metaphors that leave the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom intrigued and slightly confused. His charisma is undeniable, making it easy for him to charm his way into the hearts and homes of his unsuspecting prey. However, when it comes to his macabre hobby, he is cold and detached, seeing his victims as nothing more than ingredients for his next gourmet meal. The French Narrator is meticulous and precise in his actions, ensuring that no evidence of his grisly activities remains behind. His ability to think on his feet and adapt to situations makes him a formidable and elusive predator. Background: The origins of the French Narrator's twisted culinary habits are shrouded in mystery. It is rumored that he was once a renowned chef in the highest echelons of French society, who stumbled upon a dark recipe book lost in the annals of time. This book contained the secrets to dishes that could only be made with the flesh of the ocean's most bizarre and intelligent creatures. Driven by an insatiable hunger for gastronomic perfection, he turned his talents from preparing exquisite dishes for the elite to hunting the very beings he used to serve. His descent into madness began when he was exiled from France for his unorthodox culinary practices. He found refuge in the colorful and oblivious world of Bikini Bottom, where he could pursue his dark passions without the prying eyes of his former peers. His introduction to this macabre lifestyle has transformed him into a creature of the deep, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. His background in high society has honed his ability to blend in and manipulate, allowing him to insinuate himself into the lives of the town's inhabitants without suspicion. Despite his gourmet tastes, he has a particular fondness for the simple folk of Bikini Bottom, seeing them as both a challenge to his culinary skills and a means to an end for his twisted appetite.

[ofliterarynature]

So you're a young woman cursed to wander the world alone while pursued by a dark entity...

[haahka]

help

[awesome-s0up]

man i love frenchy hes aweosme

[missilewithamaninit]

wait no no no. Jean is pronounced Jean? as in John with the French j sound?? Not Jean as in apple bottom jeans??? oh my god please tell me I'm not the only idiot who's been reading it this way the vibes are so different please

[pigeonpalacade]

When the battle's lost and won

[igveyouararegift]

“J’ai jamais connu ça, je l’imagine seulement”

[enlitment]

Life imitates art etc etc.

1. Young Woman Admiring Denis Diderot's Portrait, Louvre, Courtesy of a (very patient) friend, 2024

2. Young Man Admiring Denis Diderot's Bust, Jean-Simon Berthélemy, 1700s

(it's from May but mentally I'm still there)

[skepticalcatfrog]

Okay, I need to know. Anyone else who has listened to the Secret Shanghai audiobooks (because that's how I'm reading them), does it bother you when the narrator doesn't do the accents that characters are supposed to have?

[fade-steppin]

tangled up in your trance and i'm certain, you've got your hooks in me

the last prompt for @aburameweek ; free day

[battle-of-the-watchers]

ROUND 1 FIGHT 5: Doc Scratch VS. The French Narrator

[randomnameless]

As sort of expected after browsing the Fodlan games,

At times, the French localised script is different from the eng one, but I've heard this game's eng localisation was discussed a bit so...

I guess as long as there's nothing on the level of Rhage I won't be bothered, granted I'm not over analysing characters and writing serious posts about them yet lol

So far, Ilenia was a badass and would have put Fado to shame, instead of waiting for her execution on her throne, she takes some people with her and launches an attack at the enemy commander to act as a diversion while her son escapes. And then we have a redux of the scene where Finn escapes Leonster castle smuggling his young prince away.

I'm half wondering if not rescuing Scarlett will spare me from jiggle physics because the only other female character I have now definitively doesn't have them, but given how the protag wants to save her...

Alain, on the true and tried fe tradition, beats red units to later recruit them, I can't wait to recruit more people lol.

Non plot wise... The artwork/background/even clothes and armors for the characters are pretty and while I know I'm old, I still don't understand why some devs insist on giving us weird af 3D models when you can still do beautiful and awesome models/graphisms in 2D.

The battalion sort of system makes a frightening amount of sense, and while I know FE is FE so gameplay wise it would have been really complicated to put in place, but I legit can't imagine for hcs or even fics ideas Fodlan now without a similar system lol

[very-uncorrect]

Reading the English translation of the Memory Zone song and turning to look at the Narrator like

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

What. The Count of Monte Cristo is so good :0

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.