#the format isn't mine but this goes without saying

[mentha-vacciniumrainbow]

Meme time! Carmine family (including Zestial!), Morningstar family (including Vaggie!), and Sera, stressed because Emily isn't here (she's gorgeous too, but we save her for something else 😉).

Enjoy!

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam!

I recently purchased a second hand bread machine, and I know you like to bake! (I got King Authur's Flour per your recommendation.) I was wondering if you have any recipes or tips and tricks for bread making? I don't have an oven in my apartment so sadly that's not an option for me 😔

Without an oven, a bread machine is a great acquisition! You can often also make rice, oatmeal, and sometimes even yogurt in a bread machine, depending on the model. If the machine didn't come with a manual, try googling for it, or googling the model name and "recipes" to see what else people have done with theirs. It's great you bought KA flour, because materials really do make the difference -- good flour and yeast are key. Freshness can matter with yeast so buy something with a long expiration date, and keep the yeast somewhere cool, dry, and dark.

For bread making, there are two main things I always think about: you are nurturing yeast, which is a living thing, and you're forming gluten (presumably, if you're not cooking gluten-free). The yeast wants to have food and be warm, so you want to use pretty warm water (most machine recipes say something very specific like 115-125F or similar, but it should be warmer than your skin and not so hot it hurts your skin, that's how I measure it). Sugar helps feed yeast, so often there will be sugar or honey in a recipe even if it's not a "sweet" bread. If you're using older yeast, adding a bit more sugar can help it work. Meanwhile, protein helps support gluten formation, so milk or milk powder are common ingredients often listed as optional but which are very helpful. If you have a stove, you can even make milk bread, which is one of the best, fluffiest kinds -- google "hokkaido milk bread" for recipes. Nearly any bread recipe that doesn't have a super long rise or need to be shaped can be made in a bread machine, but often (especially on the King Arthur site) a recipe will include special tips for adjusting it for a machine.

Specifically for bread machines, the bread can stay warm in the pan for a bit, but the longer it cools in the pan the more likely it is to form condensation, which leads to moisture on the surface of the crust in contact with the metal. That dries out pretty quickly if you leave it out for a bit, but moisture reduces the shelf life of homemade bread a LOT (moisture feeds mold). Your best bet is to remove the bread as soon as it's cool enough to handle -- it used to be the hardest part of making machine bread was getting it out of the damn pan, but they may have gotten better since I had one -- and wrap it in a tea towel or leave it out to cool completely before putting it in a package of some kind. I used to keep mine in the fridge because without preservatives it can mold quickly. These days most breads I bake included a few spoonfuls of King Arthur Bread and Cake Enhancer, which is a mild preservative and worth every penny -- it makes the bread softer, with better crumb, and it stays good for longer. There are other brands you can get cheaper on amazon, probably, but I've only ever used KA so I can't speak to their efficacy. It's generally not sold in stores.

Okay, two last things: one, I always put the bread machine on the floor when I was making bread in it, because it rocks back and forth a bit when kneading and I have had machines "walk" off the counter before. The floor or a wide table are best. Two, bread is difficult and even a machine for making it isn't perfect, so you may fail when you first start out. Even if you don't fail the first time, you may not get a good loaf at some point, and that's the nature of yeasted breads. Don't take it personally -- and don't give up! After a while, you start to notice if something seems "off" but it takes time to learn that sense.

Happy baking! I hope it goes well for you.

[crazy-pages]

The new Rings of Power season still sucks. Let's talk about why.

The thing is, there's enough decent ideas and good acting and definitely enough budget to make excellent television. The problem isn't any one part of the process, the problem is systemic logistical issues.

Streaming services' continued attempts to alter their tv model to undercut legacy profit sharing agreements with unions is causing them logistical issues they can't overcome by throwing more money at the problem. Even if they spend more money than they save undercutting worker profits, it doesn't help because what makes good television is adequate funding of good collaborative project structures, not overfunding bad structures. You can't just pawn a blacksmith's anvil and then pay them twice the worth of the anvil to do good metal working if they don't have any way to get a new anvil!

Like, the new format of shorter seasons with longer episodes lets them streaming services pay talent less for residuals ... but television was structured that way for a reason. It makes it harder to do good pacing.

Cutting staff in the writing room, reducing turnaround time, and taking writers off of the set so they can't do last minute adjustments saves a bunch of money sure. But it also makes it worse writing. Duh. And you can't just pay more prestigious writers or pay writers more to fix this, because the lack of ancillary staff and the shorter timelines are not skill issues.

Tightening control over worker flexibility, local authority, budgetary decisions, and ability to tell their bosses no, along with cycling through different contractor companies over the course of a project, makes it much more difficult for workers to unionize and allows for more precise budgetary promises to upper management.

But it's how you get stuff like the plastic looking armor in the first season on a budget absolutely dwarfing what Lord of the Rings used to make the most impressive chainmail props to ever exist. Because it's just not possible anymore to hire one specific team for almost a decade of project time, hire them before the project is fully committed to give them extra lead time, and give them broad budgetary control and even influence over what battle sizes are going to look like to accommodate for production uncertainties. If you can't say no to your boss if your boss suddenly demands double the armor for a battle next month, or to change a lead character design next week, you can't make it look good, full stop. It doesn't matter the size of the budget you're given because a larger budget doesn't fix the other constraints. You just have to do it out of plastic and foam because there's no alternative which keeps you under budget and reliable and capable of accommodating absurd director whims.

Shareholder capitalism is obsessed with the idea that of you make ever increasing monetary returns the only incentive structure, companies will just figure out how to make it work and deliver on that. There's not any thought given to knock-on effects like instability, or harms like worsened quality of life for workers.

And this glorification of profit as the only thing relevant to a business also means that company executives have forgotten that it takes more than money to make quality. It's not just that more outcomes matter than money, it's that more means matter than money. Throwing money at something is not a panacea, you need logistical structures which are more complicated than their input money values and their output money values! And if you strip mine those structures to make the output money value of a particular business subsection go up, and put constraints on them to make the input money value go down, you can end up with a business thats total is less than the sum of its parts.

So yes, as the old adage goes, you need to spend money to make money. But executives also need to let other folk down the chain spend company money in ways they don't perfectly control without freaking out over it.

Otherwise you can spend a record-breaking amounts of money and create nothing but mediocrity.

[gayf1hoe]

A Risk Worth Taking - Part 2

After Zane's reconnaissance lap, me and a few other mechanics head out to the track and do some last minute data analysis before we have to clear the track for the race start. There is a sea of people constantly bumping into each other as if It isn't hot enough without people encapsulating you. Thankfully the cars have a barrier around them and I'm one of the lucky mechanics that gets to stand in it. 

Everything looks to be OK and even if it wasn't it's not like we can change anything under Parc Ferme. I catch a quick glimpse of my old team, this year they haven't been as strong as they were predicted to be and have been reduced to fighting for the last points when last year they were fighting for wins. 

With 5 minutes to go until the formation lap Zane returns to the car and I help him do his seat belt and as I go to stand up he lightly grabs my hand and through the muffled sound of his voice through his helmet and balaclava I manage to make out 

“I'll win this for you”

It's amazing how I have only known him for a few weeks and yet he's going to try and win for me. 

I attempt to say something back but in my earpiece hear “all team personnel off the track” so I have to make a mad dash back to the garage and get put on my pit crew suit. 

Immediately as the race gets underway I see a plume of dust and 3 or 4 cars facing the opposite way, it's almost certainly going to be a safety car and we aren't sure if Zane got any damage as it occurred right at the front. 

We all sit in anticipation of the verdict and confirmation over the team radio. The red flag sign pops up on the screen so immediately in unison the crew stands up and heads out to the pit lane to bring both Zane and Riottomo into the garage.

As Zane comes down the pit lane I can see he's missing a part of his front left wing but a wing replacement is an easy fix. And it also means we have a chance to rethink the strategy and with new strategists on the team we should be OK.  

The FIA informs us that the restart will be in 25 minutes time so for now Zane steps out of the car and sits on the bench and watches the mechanics work. 

“Y/N can you go and get a wing alignment gauge from the store cupboard” the Number 1 mechanic says wheeling himself out from under the car. 

I head into the back and into the store cupboard and attempt to find a wing alignment gauge but it's incredibly hard to find anything in the cupboard because it's so disorganised. There's no point in reorganising it as it gets messed up in a few days as we move from one track to another. 

As I'm pulling stuff off the shelves the cacophony of sounds from the garage makes it impossible to hear the door open. 

“This fucking cupboard is a mess can't find a fucking thing in this place” 

“Chill out my love” I hear a voice say as a pair of arms snake around my waist. 

From the smell of the sweet cologne and the indistinguishable voice that always sends butterflies to my stomach I know it's Zane. 

“What are you doing in here?” I ask. 

“What can't I visit my boyfriend” 

“Since when was I your boyfriend” 

“Wow you were really drunk last night weren't you” 

He's not wrong. The last thing I can remember was seeing another mechanic out with his partner and me and Zane making a mad dash to leave the restaurant and that's where we found ourselves in a night club and everything after that is a blur. 

“Well I asked you if you wanted to be my boyfriend and you said yes” 

He could be totally lying to me right now but I'm 99.9% sure that if he did ask me drunk or not I would have said yes. 

“Oh so we are dating now” I say just to affirm it to myself more than him. 

“Yes so it means I can do this” 

Before I can even fathom what “this” is he pushes his lips against mine whilst simultaneously caressing the back of my neck. He starts to pull my shirt off when my radio goes off

“Y/N have you found the gauge yet we need it”

I push Zane off me and he looks offended, “later” I say returning to the impossible endeavour of finding this thing. 

Zane shoves his hand in a random box and pulls a random thing out whilst declaring “found it”. 

“How on earth” I question. 

“Magic,” he says. 

I quickly take it out of his hand and go to open the door but before I do he plants one last kiss on my lips and we both enter the garage and everyone's eyes turn to us. 

“Did you get locked in or something?” one of the mechanics chimes in. 

“We really need to organise that cupboard” I say handing over the gauge to the number 1 mechanic. 

The restart gets off well with Zane taking the lead. The whole team lets out a cheer as he overtakes Richard for the lead but we all hold our breath as we know it's not over. 

During the race mechanics have nothing to do until the pit window opens so we mostly watch the race or play around like children it isn't until I go to put on my helmet I see that the mechanics for some unknown reason have stuck stickers of Zane onto it and this is the helmet I have to go out into the pit lane in for it to be broadcasted to the world. 

“You guys are dicks do you know that” 

Rodin executes a perfect strategy and both Zane and Ritomo have managed to fight their way back up into the podium places and it's a last lap between Zane and Enzo Fittipaldi. I literally don't breathe and pray that Zane catches the slip stream. 

They fight to the line and I think Zane has come P2 until I see his name move up on the leaderboard. 

The team goes absolutely wild and we run out into the pit lane to wait for Zane. When he steps out of the car I expect him to go to his dad, or his engineer but instead he comes over to me and places a kiss on my lips and gives me a really strong hug. 

The entire team goes absolutely wild but in a good way. I get so confused and one of the machines leans over the sea of people and says 

“We all knew that you two were more than friends” 

Human resources is going to have a field day with this. 

[2manyturbos]

🏁 Rules 🏁

Hi: You can call me Vile. They/She/He with a slight inclination toward They/Them. I’m 30+ and have been rping for well over a decade. Me nb grey ace gay cryptid that loves their villains.

This is a Side Blog: Follows are through vile-muses.

Content Disclaimer: Please use your better judgment when following. Expect heavy themes; this is NOT a coffee shop AU. Regardless that such themes will be tagged, if you can’t handle dark themes, I cannot recommend a follow. There will be morally grey if not outright immoral actions included on this blog. IC =/= OOC. This should go without saying, but I do not condone all the actions of my character. If this is a triggering subject or if you cannot divorce the writer from any potentially villainous characters they write, I cannot recommend a follow.

Obligatory Mention: I reserve the right to not RP with everyone, ect ect.

Fandom DNI’s: As a personal preference, I'd rather not see the following with high frequency on my dash: Harry Potter, FNAF (and similar “mascot horror”), South Park, Family Guy, Marvel, DC, Superheroes in general, My Little Pony, Star Wars, Homestuck, Disney Descendants, Twisted Wonderland, Once Upon A Time, Disney “Live Action” Remakes, K Pop. So I avoid blogs where it seems like I'll be seeing a lot of any of this.

Self Inserts: I don't roleplay with them. Sorry. In my experience there's always a problem with the inability to separate ic from ooc with self inserts. That and I'm just uncomfy with it in general. It isn't fun for me.

Accessibility Clause: If I can’t navigate or easily read your blog, I won’t follow. Ditto for post formatting. Accessibility is important. On the flip side: if there’s anything I can do to make my content easier to enjoy, please don’t hesitate to ask. I am a player to values accessibility over aesthetic.

Duplicate Muses: I will not allow duplicates of my own muse to meet each-other. I will allow my characters to meet other oc Turbos but NOT other versions of the original. Ties into me not wanting to focus on the multi-verse, as elaborated on further down. I will, however, interact with multiples of other characters.

Regarding Live Action Icons: If you cannot tolerate that I don’t always use them, I am not a good partner for you. I spent time and effort into developing my artistic skill and use my own art for some graphics; please be respectful of that. I have zero interest whatsoever in getting a rl face claim for Turbo.

Shipping: Highly selective. I need to trust you. I need to be familiar with your vibe, which requires months of me sharing a space with you. I do not like to ship with cis straight male muns, sorry.

Actions have consequences in my RPs. I don’t kill without consent, but don’t expect me or my character to be a doormat. If your muse antagonizes or annoys mine, expect an appropriate reaction. This goes both ways; my characters may not be terribly nice. Feel free to respond to their behavior in kind.

Assuming Relationships: I don’t do pre-established relationships (that aren’t canon) at all. I build IC relations from the ground up. If you want to plot out some -basic- history, or a sort of outline, that’s fine, but nothing too in-depth to start with. No long-lost lovers, children or family members. Please do not attempt to imply relationships I haven’t agreed to. If you have a destination in mind for their relationship (i.e. eventual family figures), I’ll slowly work up to it thread by thread, but I won’t go all in at first before I know what their chemistry is like.

I Am Slow: Please be aware I’m a working adult who may have to go on hiatus for months at a time. I can be a slow RPer and may take a week or more to respond to threads regularly. If potentially waiting a month or two for replies during my busy periods is a dealbreaker for you, I’m not the right partner. I do however do my best to give notice of hiatuses.

You Are Slow?: On the flip side, I don’t mind fellow slow RPers and I understand that life happens; in this case I will expect something in your rules, a hiatus notice, or even direct communication with me if replies will be slow. Don’t apologize for taking a month +, I’m very used to it.

Post Length: I regularly write two paragraphs (5+ sentences) or more. I don’t exactly have a firm wordcount requirement. As long as it seems like we’re putting in an equal effort, specific reply lengths aren’t a deal breaker for me. I never do one-liners; I honestly just can’t… unless it’s for crack threads lol.

My Artwork: This blog includes a fair amount my own art. Anyone is welcome to reblog my art. But please do not repost or reuse my art. Do not repost my artwork; no, not even with credit. Anyone doing so is doing so against my wishes and I will report you. Failing that, I will ask you personally to remove it. Failing that, I will go public. So please don’t steal my art.

I only rp with other adults. This is not an invitation to convince me otherwise. I will check blogs for ages; any blog without an age, I will assume is under 18 and will not interact. If I suspect you are lying about your age or are otherwise not mature enough in interactions, I’m within my rights to cut contact.

No Multi-verse Shenanigans Please: I’m not interested in multi-verse shenanigans. I don’t like plots where my characters are warped to another universe and will not respond to RPs that paint me into that corner. I’m an old rper who’s already done that to death and am bored with it. Instead, I would suggest just a mutual agreement between partners that our characters come from the same universe. Or, if you really want your character to come from a different universe, please don’t make it the focus of the rp.

Digital vs Real World: “Players” somehow entering the digital world is okay as a plot point for face to face interaction reasons. But please don’t put my characters into the real world without plotting first.

Story progression is a thing. What your characters do will be remembered thread to thread. If we have a relationship between our characters in mind, I will generally try to work to get closer to it thread-by-thread. Also, there will be changes to the character on my blog as time goes on. Development happens. I am a roleplayer to likes to keep track of continuity.

Passwords give me anxiety. Sorry, lol: I’m not going to have my anxiety invalidated either. I don’t follow people with a password requirement in respect to that. I read rules before I even follow/follow back to check if we’re compatible. If you don’t believe me, that’s gravy, but we’re not compatible.

I am assuming if you’re down here, you read my rules. I have no password requirement so *party horn*

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 21/37 | Part Twenty, Part Twenty Two

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"Tony is going to be the reason for his own downfall. I can't let him be the reason for mine."

I open my eyes and find myself alone in the bed. I rub my eyes and sit up, remembering I fell asleep in Bucky's arms. I look around the room, noticing I'm not in mine because there aren't clothes strewn about. I blink the fogginess away and see Bucky over on the couch looking out the window. He hears me moving around and looks back, smiling. 

"Good morning." His raspy morning voice softly fills the room. I stretch my arms and smile back,

"Good morning Bucky. You know you could've made me get up and go to my own room right? I didn't mean to make you sleep on the couch." I say and get out of his bed. I go join him on the couch as he shrugs,

"I could've but you were tired. You've been spending twelve or more hours in the lab a day I knew you needed the sleep. Plus, the couch isn't bad." He says and pats the armrest. A part of me is disappointed he left to sleep on the couch, but I know I set a boundary and he's respecting it.

"Each hour spent there is an hour closer that I am to finding the answer." I say knowing I should be going to the lab soon to start the day. I don't even know what time it is but I feel like Bruce and Tony are already there, they're extremely early risers. However, spending some more time with Bucky would be nice.

"Do you really think it's possible?" He asks meeting my eyes. 

"I do. I'm going to find a way to make it work." I say, knowing that I'm definitely on the right track. 

"Thank you." He looks away from me and to the ground. I put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, and we sit in silence. After a short moment, Bucky sits up straight and I bring my hand back to my lap.

"Excited for the party tomorrow?" He asks with a smile on his face once more.

"Yeah I totally can't wait. I sure do love parties." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Steve and I are going to help set up for it I think." He says. 

"Well if you figure out how many people there are going to be, let me know." I sigh, feeling anxious about the possibility of a lot of people showing up.

"Will do." He says and stands from the couch. I take it as a sign I should also get up and start the day. We walk out of the room together and I go to my own as he goes to the elevator to start his party planning business. 

I get a quick shower and feel myself waken even more, feeling less groggy and more attentive. I rush through the rest of my morning routine. I don't like that Bruce and Tony may have been alone in the lab for hours without me, who knows what they could've done. I take the elevator down to the lab and I'm frozen in my tracks as I make my way through the lab. 

I watch in both awe and terror as I see one of our hosts on the lab table. The small humanoid creation is walking around and answering their questions. I slowly approach the table and watch what's happening. 

"Remarkable isn't it?" Bruce asks me as I stand beside him. 

"When did you do this?" I ask, staring at the small host that's looking around at the environment.

"About an hour ago." I can't even feel mad because I'm baffled that they were able to do this so quickly. 

"How?" I ask, tearing my eyes away from the creation and looking to Bruce, 

"We copied the framework from the stone and uploaded a copy of Jarvis into the matrix. From there we installed it on a microchip and wired it into the host." I look back to the table and see Tony staring at the creation like a proud father. 

Curiosity gets the better of me and I walk up to the table and the host walks up to me. 

"Good morning, Adalyn. I hope you had a restful night in James Barnes' room." I choke on my spit as the small host speaks in Jarvis' voice. I step back from the table, seeing both Tony and Bruce staring at me. 

"You stayed in Bucky's room?" Tony asks, smirk on his face. I shake my head,

"It's not like that. Plus how did that even know?" I ask, not understanding how it could've possibly known since a copy of Jarvis was uploaded. A copy of Jarvis would be unattached from the original, not being continuously updated.

"Oh we just uploaded Jarvis into the matrix about two hours ago." I nod my head. I know the original Jarvis would never announce my personal business like that, it must be the evolution of the framework. Or at least, that's what I'm convincing myself of. 

"Does Steve know?" Bruce asks, going along with Tony's pestering. 

"I don't think so, and even if he did it's not a big deal. Bucky slept on the couch anyways, we have an agreed upon boundary." I say, trying to downplay what happened so they drop it. The last thing I need is for Steve to get suspicious of us again.

"Sure, we'll go with that." Tony still has a smirk on his face. I bite the inside of my bottom lip, keeping myself from saying anything more.

"So tell me more about this." I say, wanting to divert the attention. 

"It's just like Bruce said. But we've noticed it's taken everything that Jarvis is and has taken it to the next level." Tony says, looking back to the host. 

"What do you mean by the next level?" I ask, wanting to be entirely on the same page. 

"It seems like this is synthesizing information quicker than Jarvis, it's quickly adapted to the host. We were about to run a diagnostic on it." Tony explains and I nod my head. 

"Is it safe to run a diagnostic on it? That means Jarvis, original Jarvis, would have to connect. Are you sure that's something we want to do? Can we just take the microchip out and inspect it that way?" I feel uneasy about connecting Jarvis to this seeing as how they said it's improved on Jarvis' abilities. 

"I don't think it'll do any harm, this way we can monitor what's happening in real time." Tony says, but I still think it's a bad idea.

"Tony, just hear me out. If we analyze this right now and connect Jarvis to it, then it opens a pathway for this to connect to Jarvis giving potential for this to take root in Jarvis. We need to keep Jarvis separated and pure, we don't know what this can evolve into." I want to do this the safest way possible and I'm starting to think Tony wants to sabotage himself. 

"That's actually a good point." Bruce chimes in, crossing his arms. 

"We should've just done this while she wasn't here." Tony remarks. My eyebrows shoot up, fire flowing through my veins. 

"I'm sorry you feel like I'm trying to hinder your work, I'm just trying to keep you from making a catastrophic mistake. I think you're making rash decisions that aren't well thought out. We should be taking a scientific approach, a calculated approach. Your technology is a valuable asset and we cannot, should not, be taking any chances that may compromise it." I say, trying to keep my cool. Am I the only one seeing the faults in Tony's decision making? I look to Bruce, seeing if he's going to back me up, but I see he's going to stay out of this. 

"My technology is my property and I can make any decision I want regarding it. I think you're scared to take the chance. This can be the gateway for the Ultron protocol, world security. A suit of armor across the world." Tony walks closer to me. 

"If this can be the gateway why jeopardize it by making poor decisions?" I challenge him. 

"Why delay it?" He shoots back. I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach, like he's decided he's going to do this either way. 

"I think you should take a walk, think it over. You're right, it is your tech." I say, realizing I need to create a safeguard for myself and the research I'm doing. Tony brushes past me on his way out, and as soon as the elevator doors close I look to Bruce.

"I need you to act like you're not seeing this." I say as I make my way over to the lab's computers. I open a drawer and find two flash drives. I know I don't have much time to do this, I have to be quick. 

"What are you doing?" Bruce asks. I type on the computers as I answer,

"I'm making a copy of Jarvis, and a copy of the gem's framework. Tony said himself that this framework has evolved from just being Jarvis, it's performing better. I'm just thinking that we don't know the full capacity this framework has, what it can evolve to when given more technology and material to work with. If we have this, we have a backup." I say as I download the programs onto the flash drive. 

"I don't think Tony will like this." Bruce says, scratching the back of his neck. 

"Tony is going to be the reason for his own downfall. I can't let him be the reason for mine." I say.

"The reason for your downfall?" Bruce questions.

"Like I said yesterday, I think I've figured out a way to use this technology to help Bucky. I can't risk losing that because of what Tony decides." I say. 

"Do you think you're being too critical?" Bruce questions. I look away from the computers and to Bruce,

"I don't think I'm being critical enough. The first day he met me he accused me of being a Hydra operative. Things got a little better, but then this came along and I think we're back to square one and he's hellbent on making this mistake." I say and take the flash drives out of the computer and put them in my pocket. 

"Listen, I agree with you. I think Tony is being too hasty in all of this. I'll try my best to hold him off, but I don't know if either of us can, I think he's made up his mind." I nod my head, agreeing with Bruce. 

"I fear the consequences if this doesn't turn out well." I say.

"What do you think could happen?" Bruce asks. I sigh,

"If we're right and this did give the siblings their powers, that means it has potential to alter a mind on a whim, for better or worse. If it can evolve beyond Jarvis, that means we can lose control of it. If we lose control then we're at the will of this creature, whatever it is. We shouldn't be gambling with something of this magnitude." I look back at the host creature on the table which is still looking around the environment, giving me an uneasy feeling. 

"This is bigger than I could've imagined." Bruce rubs his temples, soaking in what I just explained. 

"Bruce, if this goes south I have to do what's best for Bucky. I won't stick around to help Tony clean up the mess, I can't." I know I've made up my mind. If Tony goes forward with connecting the framework with Jarvis, I'm going to leave with Bucky. Steve will probably follow, it's just in his nature to be where Bucky is.

"I know, that's okay. It's human nature to protect the ones you love." He says, a tenderness to his voice I've never heard before. I'm glad he understands. 

"Thank you, Bruce." I say, knowing I'm thanking him for more than just understanding. 

"Of course. Let me try to stall him on making this decision, talk some reason into him. It's probably best you stay away from him until I can talk to him." I nod, agreeing. 

"Okay, I'll give you some time. I wish you all the luck in the world, Bruce." I say and grab the papers I wrote my plans on, folding and tucking them into my pocket as well. I walk to the elevator and go the second floor. 

Quickly,  I put the flash drives and papers into the top drawer, next to the red book. If everything goes to hell I want to be able to grab all of this quickly. I go back to the main floor and see both Bucky and Steve. The two stop talking as I walk in,

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." Steve says as I walk over to them. 

"Oh, yeah I'm fine." I say, not wanting to raise alarm just yet. I'm going to give Bruce time to talk to Tony before I say anything to them about what's going on.

The two continue talking about parties in the 1940s, and I unintentionally drown them out as my mind wanders. I hope Tony doesn't go through with what he wants. If things do go wrong, and the consequences are disastrous I'm not sure where we could go. I feel like I'm so close to the answer, but it could all crumble depending on what Tony decides. Steve walks off somewhere, leaving Bucky and I alone. 

"What's wrong?" Bucky's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. 

"Oh, nothing I'm just thinking about the party tomorrow." I lie, hoping he buys it. 

"There's going to be about one hundred people here." He says. I try to take my mind off the pressing matter at hand and give Bucky my full attention, 

"Are you going to try to steal Steve's dance partner?" I tease him. He shakes his head, a smile on his face. 

"Why would I do that when I've got the best dance partner already?" I laugh a little, 

"I know you're not talking about me." I say, knowing I dance like I was born with two left feet. Bucky shrugs his shoulders,

"I'm only talking about you." He says. I smile softly, meeting his eyes. 

His baby blues always make me feel weak, I know I would do anything for him. In a way I'm looking forward to the party, it'll give me an excuse to be close to him again. I crave to be close to him all the time. I know there will be many people here tomorrow, and I know I'll only have eyes for one. The same one who I know I'll never be able to have. A selfish part of me hopes there's nobody there that catches his eye, but if there is I know I can't interfere. I was the one who set the boundary though I find myself wanting to break it every day. 

The way he held me last night sealed the deal. He was so gentle and comforting, just as he is most of the time, but last night was different and I can't quite figure out why. He held me close as I drifted asleep, providing a feeling of safety. The way he massaged my shoulders as I sat between his legs was intimate. I love and cherish those little moments we share. 

Maybe once the programming is obsolete there will be a possibility. I may be holding onto false hope, but I find myself yearning for him more every day, my feelings becoming more profound. He's the only one who will ever understand what I went through at Hydra, and I'm the only one who will fully understand what he went through. Even if he decides he doesn't want me like that, I know I'll be content with being in his life in any capacity. Although my heart will continue to desire the feeling of his lips on my forehead, his strong arms around my body. 

[tianzhan]

#𝑻𝑰𝑨𝑵𝒁𝑯𝑨𝑵 : jingliu of hoyoverse's honkai star rail , established august 27th , 2023. as immortalized by 𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒔. southeast asian , they / them pronouns. please be 21+ to interact with me !! minors and personal blogs will be blocked. mutuals exclusive , canon , oc , and duplicate friendly! this blog will contain graphic content of violence , identity , abandonment , motifs of and ideations of death , and will reference chinese folklore and culture. i am unaffiliated with hsr and any of hoyoverse's games. you can also find me on: @zixunsilu !

𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 @boxue , @qiinglong.

𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐒 ; temper my soul into a blade that will never dull , destruction as salvation , i am the sword / i am the wound , love as the balm and the blade , the bona - fide sinner. i am nobody; i , the cataclysm.

rules below. / i dont want to make a carrd anymore / promo.

i. im going to keep this brief , so. first and foremost , i intend to keep this space as a place where i can chill and have fun. my workload occupies half of my time , so i'm going to be scarce , so this blog will be a PERMANENTLY low activity space tyty. i will be active with communicating , mainly discord. if i follow you , that means i would love to interact with your muses! i just ask that you be patient with me, since i am scarce as is. i don't really care too much about duplicates and i would love to interact with other blade writers , so long as there is respect to each of our portrayals of blade , but i would love to share around ideas too !!

ii. it goes without saying that i'm unaffiliated with the game, so everything of that material is not mine , the lore for ren will mostly be mixed canon, and expanded upon on from leaks, chinese mythos, culture, and item stories. that being said , ren only offers courtesy to people he holds neutral to better regard to , so he will be rude if need be , and awful where the situation begs for it. but most of the time he's quiet. haha lmao... please keep this in mind when interacting with him! therefore , steal from me and ur ass is grass !! psds , writing, etc are mine unless stated otherwise.

iii. this blog will contain references to and explorations of blade's character within the story and elaboration on chinese culture and mythology, my chinese reading level is literally abysmal (cries) so please bare with me! this blog will also contain triggering themes such as, but not limited to: violence , gore , dehumanization , depersonalization , memory loss , sexual themes , and more to be added. triggering material and general content warnings will be tagged as '___ tw' or '___cw'.

iv. do not involve me in any shape or form in your drama. i don't care , don't involve me. i firmly believe that some things can be solved through talking it out in private therefore, i reserve the rights to block as i please. that being said , i will reblog callouts if it does involve someone who brings genuine harm to the community.

v. i don't really care too much about length or formatting. i personally use small font text with minimal editing , as well as icons, but i do occasionally go iconless bc im lazy lmao... just please don't give me something that i'm gonna have to zoom in 500x to read , and just not one sentence LMAO !! basic roleplay etiquette goes, don't godmod my character etc. i generally do not make starter calls since i am terrible at managing them or answering them but i do. sometimes :clown:. but , the best way to start off threads with me is through ask memes! i loove when ask memes are turned into threads, and i do encourage plotting!! my d*sco handle is available if we're mutuals :)

vi. shipping is not a priority but i'm always up for it. it's not on the forefront of my mind , and i'm sure it isn't for you. what happens , happens. that being said , i reserve the right to drop a ship if certain dynamics don't interest me, or make me uncomfortable. but again , i am pretty flexible , i don't mind exploring darker dynamics between our characters. mains are open, and i consider us mains only if we have talked about it! i do not practice character exclusivity unless requested of me, but i do practice ship exclusivity. this means i will not write romantic ships with different writers of the same character if i already have a writing partner designated to that ship.

vii. if you are a multi , please specify a muse if you send in an ask or like starter calls. if you require anything from me in regards to interpretation or clarification , please by all means drop by my IMs and ask me! all in all , have fun and i look forward to writing with you!

[thepitofjob]

Job 12: 18-21. "The Plunder Box."

The point of the Shule is to learn how to become a pick-up artist. One cannot just grasp at the precepts, one must pick them up, not like a disease is picked up, but like one is looking for something.

In Judaism this thing is called Shabbat. Shabbat is still contained in the Shule, however. To understand this we need to refer to the tefillin box. The Shule and the box are what are called the he, the place in the darkness of the path where the light is found:

"(2) Another function of the prefix ה (he) is as interrogative pronoun, basically to serve as question mark (that sits in front of a word instead of after). Connected to the particle of negation לא (lo'), it forms the term הלא, meaning 'is not?', with which many a question is introduced (Genesis 13:9). Another popular way to begin a question is to combine our particle with the particle of existence, יש (yesh), to form היש, meaning 'is there?' (Genesis 24:23).

As suffix this particle indicates (1) femininity or possession by femininity, and (2) approach, formation or locality, which are closely related things according to Genesis 2:24.

The combination ביתה means either toward or into the house (Genesis 19:10), her house (Genesis 39:14), or the word house in a feminine form (perhaps 'housing'; Exodus 28:26).

Masculine words tend to denote things in their individual capacity or things that tend to exist solitarily, and feminine words tend to denote things that approach each other, that tend to cluster with other such things or are commonly known for existing as part of a group.

In Aramaic, the suffix ה curiously denotes a masculine possessive form. For instance, Daniel 4:33 speaks of שערה or his hair."

This is related to Ha Shem, except now we are talking about He Shem, "knowledge of my name, where I am, and what is mine."

The reason the Talmud says very little or nothing at all happens without a Report, called a Shema is because one must come to believe what is in the Box belongs to you and to no one else.

There are rules, laws, and proper ways of realizing Shem to be sure, but the Shema affirms the conviction and tells us who and what we want to pick up in life. Every Jew knows this cannot possibly take place without picking up the meaning of the Torah and Tanakh and for that we know we need to abide in the Shule.

Shule "the process" explained in the Seven Days comes from the following etymology:

There are two roots שלה (slh), and two roots שלל (sll), which all seem to relate a being extracted from bondage and restriction, and toil and turmoil.

The verb שלה (shala I) means to be at rest (Job 3:26) or to prosper (Psalm 122:6, Jeremiah 12:1). Its derivatives are:

The masculine noun שלו (shalu), meaning prosperity (Psalm 30:7 only).

The adjective שלי (sheli), meaning quiet or private (2 Samuel 3:27 only).

The adjective שלו (shalew), meaning quiet or prosperous (Job 16:12, Zechariah 7:7).

The feminine noun שלוה (shalwa), meaning quietness or prosperity (Psalm 122:7, Proverbs 17:1).

The verb שלה (shala II) means to draw out or extract. It's used only in Job 27:8, but it's obviously related to root שלל (shalal; see below). This root's sole derivative is the feminine noun שליה (shilya), meaning afterbirth (Deuteronomy 28:57 only).

This explains why nice boy feet are a requirement by the Rab:

The verb שלל (shalal I) is obviously related to שלה (shala II) and means to draw out. It's used only in Ruth 2:16. Its sole derivative is the adjective שולל (sholal), meaning barefoot (Micah 1:8, Job 12:17 only).

The plunder, the plunder!

"The verb שלל (shalal II) means to plunder, and this isn't far removed from the verbs שלה (shala II) and שלל (shalal I), meaning to draw out. This verb occurs fourteen times, in all expectable ways: to describe the plundering that goes on during a raid or after a battle (Isaiah 10:6, Jeremiah 50:10, Ezekiel 29:19).

This verb's sole derivative is the masculine noun שלל (shalal), meaning plunder (Genesis 49:27, Joshua 7:21, 1 Samuel 30:20)."

Shabbat, another term for success, attainment to the Light in the darkness of the Shule is explained below. If we look for an pick up the "the deep things" which correspond to the Four Drirections. The light in the box will go on:

"Chabad.org describes the soul as having four parts: Nefesh, the engine of physical life; Ruach, the emotional self and personality; Neshamah, the intellectual self; and Chayah, the supra-rational self that contains will, desire, commitment, and faith. Chabad.org also says that the soul's essence, Yechidah, is its unity with God."

22 He reveals the deep things of darkness     and brings utter darkness into the light. 23 He makes nations great, and destroys them;     he enlarges nations, and disperses them. 24 He deprives the leaders of the earth of their reason;     he makes them wander in a trackless waste. 25 They grope in darkness with no light;     he makes them stagger like drunkards.

Mankind uses religion to understand the Nefesh; how and why we were put here and our proper role in it. We know by now all the ways we fit in with nature and those in which we do not. Powerlessness towards the attaiment of our proper purposes in life is absurd, we are not powerless. We act like it, but the reason we enter the Shule is to change our acts.

The reason the verses above say we and our world leaders are staggering is we have decided not work for peace and prosperity from quarter to quarter but to watch things break and clean them up a little at a time instead, at least until next time. That approach is not rational. We pick up on the logic of the Torah so we do not spend time picking up messes.

Donald Trump and his Republican Party needed to be put in the gas chamber the moment I revealed they were not so exactly on Jesus's preferred customer list as they claimed, were throwing elections, engaging in trafficking of minors, engaging in terrorism, and double dealing with our enemies, Hamas, Hezbollah, Russia, Iran, India, China, and North Korea, all because of anti-Semitism.

Everyone on earth knows how ticked off I am about this, but an excellent point has arisen from the scuttle, a legal means to substantiate the right of Israel to stand on its own feet, protect its own territory and to preserve its traditions.

Jews are now for the first time in history, legally and obviously the plaintiffs in their own struggle instead of permanent victims. Ha Shem has given us a few other advantages in scripture, but we are very much on our way to a planet that hates the Mormons and fundamentalist Christians and loves the Jewish people.

The legitimate love of the Jewish Self is the little light in the box.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 22-23. He makes nations great. Great nations engage in good works. The Number is 6156, יאהו‎ ‎‎yahoo, from Ya hawa, "He that is it."

"The verb היה (haya), or its older version הוה (hawa), means to be busy acting out the behavior that defines that which acts. This verb never describes static existence (the dog is outside) but always the performance of a specific behavior that defines whichever is behaving in such a way (the dog is outside barking, sniffing, chasing squirrels, digging up bones and running off the mailman).

Very curiously, the verb הוה (hawa II), which is identical to the older version of the verb that means "to act definingly," appears to mean to fall. This may be an inconvenient coincidence, but much more likely reflects the deep insight that the development of defining behavior inevitably requires the falling away of certain rejected behaviors. This connection between "being" and "falling" may even be among the few driving forces of evolution.

Noun הוה (hawwa) means either a bad kind of desire or lust, or ruin or destruction. Nouns היה (hayya) and הוה (howa) describe destruction, calamity or ruin."

What is the defining behavior of the Jewish nation? Funny hats? Strange foods? Weird werds? Boys with big noses and buck teeth? The Gematria says this is binary, we need to know who we are and who we most definitely are not. This is why all Jews must make a Report they understand the purposes of the Shema.

v. 24-25: They grope in darkness. God Himself groped in the darkness on Day Zero. Then He went in search of Himself. All persons are confronted by the same scary uncertainty God Himself faced before the dawn of creation. Read Bereshit to understand how He faced it.

This brings us to an important consideration: do we really expect people who are suffering to plop down, put a towel on their heads and start reading the Torah in search of wholesome goodness of the Self?

What about places like Sudan and Afghanistan which are recovering from massive flash flooding, or in Ukraine and Russia where men and boys are being carried off their feet by their fellow countrymen to fight a war they feel they want no part in, should they follow Yah along the process of the Seven Days in their heads and attempt to become a tasty Jew?

The answer is a Jew is happy to be himself, he is not happy when others are victims of hate, they are glad when the bad guy gets what is coming to him and it does not happen soon or often enough.

So, to grope in the darkness is to wonder when the rest of humanity will wake up.

The Number is 8508, חהאֶפֶסח, the Passover.

Why is the Passover the pivotal moment in all religious history? Because it was a mutual decision made by a community of freedmen that could no longer bear the thought the heartbreak of watching this world succumb to ruin.

I knew the Mormons and Republican Party were behind October 7 long before the rest of the world. Even with the amount of secrecy and guile they needed to pull it off, I was nonetheless shocked to see the world's venomous response to Israel's self-defense even after it saw scads of white people covered spray tan walking around Gaza, perfectly well fed and groomed, witnessed all those skinny assed white boys loading missiles into launchers, parading down the street pretending to be members of the Muslim mafia. Like the Jonas Brothers, for example.

The media tried to blame the people of Israel somehow for all of this. The purpose of the Passover, the Seder, the Shema, and the Pillar of Midnight God drops on the heads of the Egyptian slavers is to convince the world of its blindness, of its crippled morality:

"The verb פסח (pasah) describes the existence of a shortage, and that shortage may lead to an impaired mobility or an intense desire or a debilitating indecisiveness. It's the Bible's common verb for being lame.

The Bible's common verb for being blind is based on a verb that means to have too much (namely skin where it shouldn't be, namely over the eyes). Hence the proverbial duo of "the lame and the blind" more generally describes everybody burdened by not having enough of something, and everybody burdened by having too much of something.

Note that all humans are born lame and most die blind, which associates our verb פסח (pasah) with being child-like and immature. Noun פסח (pesah) is the word commonly translated with Passover. Adjective פסח (piseah) means lame or cripple."

We are as the Gemara above says, acting lame, blind, and immature, handicaps a Jew is not allowed to have. Shabbat is the opposite- it confers fitness, competence, confidence, and competitiveness, it is God's mechanism for ensuring we do not continually lose the race we are running. As the definition of Shabbat says, "no one must sojourn without somewhere finding a seat."

[rise-my-angel]

Honestly, I much prefer the second person perspective than any other x reader format. Maybe it's because I've come across it in published books or maybe I just find it more emersive, but now I kind of struggle with the whole (y/n) or ____ stories that were popular back in the day of Wattpad and that.

Plus I get it with the appearance. Honestly in a world like Westeros, where names and titles are so heavily tied to certain traits both personal and physical, I like that it helps build the reader into an actual character with a personality. It adds so much potential for interaction and drama that isn't often involved in a lot of self insert material for the reason that it's a fantasy rather than a story.

But I like your writing exactly because it is a story beyond the daydreaminess of typical fanfiction (like I doubt most people fantasise of throwing up in the Boltons dungeons for nights on end). And the action and conflict aren't just there for riling up our blood pressure with easy shock value. You actually put so much thought and passion into it and I admire you so much for it. I think we all admire you for it.

Any self deprecation and denial following this message and I will arrest you on sight.

WHAT ELSE IS LEFT FOR ME TO SAY THEN????? SHITTING ON MY OWN WRITING IS ALL I HAVE????

But for the appearance of the reader I really did consider being a lot more vauge but I found myself finding it sort of in the way of how I wrote, to try and write around a character whose part of a family which their similar apperances are SO integral to the story. I like to write casual mentions of apperance related things without going into too much detail, it just to me, provides a little more visuals to a scene.

Like we all know Jon has long black curly hair, but sometimes if I reference it specifically its because the reader is focusing on it the same way a character will reference part of the reader because they are focusing on that. I always want to breath more life into my writing without being overbearing on descriptions that aren't necessary.

Also big woof my writing is not a fantasy for me. This fic goes through cycles of depression more then I do. But realism, or internal consistency at least is a big focus of mine. I find internal consistency very important to my immersion in any form of story telling, so I don't try to fluff up the events or characters. I want to tell the story in the way I think it needs to be told and most often that involves putting the reader through a lot of hell.

And I don't know if I could make a more generalized blank slate reader fit into that idea, nor do I want to write the disconnect of a straight up oc because it takes away, in my story personally, some of the magic.

My goal is that the reader doesn't have to be you, but they could be.

[seaofspirits]

⸺ SEAOFSPIRITS.

a private multimuse sideblog to @seaofserene, featuring multiple OCs involved with the same lore as the evil mermaid (and also some other random OCs thrown in too because why not lmfao) mun's name is toby, i'm 24, pronouns are they/them, you know this by now. probably. maybe. rules under the cut.

temp.

none of this is anything new! if you've read at least one of my rules pages from one of my.. many sonic blogs, you're chilling. otherwise, here's the deets.

i am mutuals only, which means i only roleplay with people i'm following back. i always try to read someone's rules & about first before following back, so it may take a little bit for me to get around to it. remember, i like, reply, & follow back from @seaofserene!

open to plotting, canon divergence, OCs, AUs & crossover! (i'll be a little picky about ocs/crossover. i need a baseline understanding of what my muse is interacting with.)

this blog will have adult themes as well as dark & triggering content. please be aware. i tag anything i think warrants a content warning, but feel free to ask if you need something specific blacklisted. my tagging format is #____ cw and #____ tw.

no smut will take place on this blog, but suggestive topics or jokes may come up from time to time. it will be tagged under 'suggestive cw'.

discorse and drama free. i don't care for it so don't bother roping me in. that said, i am very much a do no harm, take no shit kinda guy, so if i see someone being treated or spoken to unfairly, then i might say something about it. it goes without saying that i don't tolerate bullying, harassment, bigotry, racism, ableism or ANY kind of predatory/abusive behavior.

multiship - every ship takes place in it’s own timeline so they don’t intersect with each other (unless plotted otherwise.) i am open to exploring most dynamics. romantic / one-sided, platonic, familial, rivals, enemies, fwb & toxic relationships are all things i'm open to writing. OOC communication is a requirement. if you think our muses have an interesting dynamic and potential chemistry you wanna see explored as a paring, feel free to hit me up about it. the only thing i don't write are pairings that are pedophilic / incestious. no thanks.

reblog karma isn't needed, but it is appreciated. i don't super like being used as a source blog. i put a lot of work into making my own graphics, please don't take and claim them as your own. i can offer you sources & tips for where/how i get mine, if you'd like.

online =/= availability. my activity is very sporadic and my muse comes and goes. sometimes i can go months without being active when my hyperfixation shifts. if you’re looking for a roleplay partner with more consistency, you may have better luck elsewhere. regardless, your patience is appreciated!

[efangamez]

Hey you beautiful people!

My name is EfanGamez, a very neurodivergent trans and pan creator who has created 20+ games and have gotten nearly 30,000 downloads on my games!

On this blog, you can find some stuff that I have created, as well as just some fun stuff. I'm not here to preach to people or make sales only; I just want people to enjoy what I make!

You can find my games right here. I promise they're amazing!

If you want separate stores, look below as well!

Itch.io

DriveThruRPG

Kofi

Have a wonderful day! 💜✨💜✨

MY BOUNDARIES BELOW <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

So a little PSA going forward btw! This isn't meant as a call out or anything, but a stating of boundaries with my page and communication, as well as some clear ups!

Please do not ask for advice or tips unsolicited unless through an ask. Again, because I'm a slow texter and have memory loss, I may not be able to get back to you, and I'd much rather you just ask publicly than privately.

I am incredibly mentally ill and autistic, with memory loss and attention disorders, so if we communicate and things are a little wonky, let me know! Sometimes I'm unaware what I'm saying may be a little rude, so please kindly let me know!

I do not consent to be viewed as a "good" person. I have done things that I am not proud of and have hurt people in the past. I have taken steps towards avoiding hurt in the future in drastic ways, but this does not mean I am a "good" person. Please view me as a human being and know that I am flawed and can mess up. Do not hold me up on a pedestal, because one day I'll fall from it and it'll shatter!

Please do not ask me to review game items of yours or someone else's! I currently am trying to simply exist in this world by eating, drinking, and showering, so I may not have time to read your games, even if they're really short. I think that, for me right now, it puts a lot of pressure on me that I just cannot deal with right now.

Please no unsolicited DMs. I have learned the hard way many people on this app who DM me wanting something, trying to strike up conversations, or love bomb you, are trying to get something out of you, and I'm kinda tired of it, frankly. Some people who have DMed me have become cool peeps I can talk to, but some have manipulated me and used me, and when I was of no use, discarded me. Because of this, please ONLY DM me if I have expressed a want to otherwise! (This is for mostly random people I don't know, so if we're already talking, we should be good!)

This kinda goes without saying, but please do not interact with me if you are a minor. This is an 18+ page.

This one may sting for some people, but it's my personal boundary and it has nothing to do with people individually. I do not wish to be called a "friend" of yours unless I myself call you that. It's a term I hold quite dear and hold for a VERY few people. I'm more like an acquaintance to many people or even just one step up from stranger. Again, it does not mean I don't like you, I just hold friendships super close to my heart, and I've been burned calling people friend who truly are not mine.

This one is kinda twofold. I want people to know that if my boundaries are crossed after warning, I will block you. My mental health cannot take constant violations of my boundaries, and thus I have to enforce them. The next is that I will ALWAYS restate a boundary with someone, because I'll never expect anyone to know a boundary without them knowing, so if it happens, I'll let you know, sometimes more than once if I know you well enough.

I will ALWAYS talk about politics or human rights issues, so if you have an issue with that, please do not interact with me. I do not wish to be comrades with those who are "apolitical".

And that's it! I know it's a ton, but like I said, I'll never expect anyone to know automatically what my boundaries are, so if ya mess up, I'll let ya know very kindly!

I'll also have this up on my pinned post so that way people can know exactly my boundaries are!

Have a wonderful day to y'all, and to my fellow disabled and mentally ill baddies out there; you are absolutely loved, and please don't drive yourself to spiral because your feelings are ALWAYS valid (this goes to me too lol).

[aiyexayen]

HAPPY RBITHDAOIDM JWIOA < that's meant to say "happy birthday ixan" but something happened along the way. ANYWAY!! for the wip fic ask, i wanna know about "harbor" and "xixian a little bit sideways" bc why is he sideways. why isn't he rightways 🥺

🥰🥰🥰 i accept both spellings of that sentiment and love them equally. i DID have a good birthday and it included a lot of wine which is why i didn't answer this sooner.

okay the last one first 😂 "xixian a little bit sideways )" is formatted "[ship name] [title]" so the title is actually just "a little bit sideways" and it's a xixian (xichen/wuxian) fic for the untamed. it's a sequel i just started outlining to the short xixian fic "the hourglass is twisting" which i just finished and posted a bit ago. i still only have a vague idea of the direction it will go but i wanted to use the matching lyrics to the first title and then make them relevant so i might have it involve a plan or situation that goes totally sideways. there will be kissing.

the other one "harbor" is a favourite of mine. it's a word of honor canon divergent fic (shocking i know) inspired by the song harbor by vienna teng, started during the siji shanzhuang arc. i actually have it mostly outlined but have only written a bit so far. snippet:

Lao Wen,

It doesn't surprise Lao Wen that Zishu is here. Or at least, he doesn't falter in his steady stride, stopping only when he's half an arm's length away. Zishu searches his face for any hesitation, a chink in the armour--something to dig into. But for all the layers of chaos that dwell beneath, tonight Lao Wen is a pool of calm inevitability. So, they're doing this.

you are welcome here anytime you want.

He reaches out and smooths down the front seam of the purple cloak, then reaches further up and grips Lao Wen's shoulders, giving him a fierce look. There's too much in his eyes, he knows, but Lao Wen doesn't acknowledge any of it. Perhaps he's afraid what his own eyes are saying without his permission.

Though the guest finds joy in wandering...

"You're coming back."

It's not a question. Lao Wen kisses him instead of answering.

And then he's gone, whirling out of Zhou Zishu's life as elegantly as he whirled into it.

Zizhu doesn't linger at the gate.

Nothing can compare to an early return home.

[meowstix]

in something that not a single fucking person asked for, i have transcribed the entirety of family ties because i wanted to see how bad it was and nobody else bothered. i'm not fucking doing this again until the alola part of that villain arc drops and even that's a firm maybe. tumblr does not let me share files, so below the keep reading is the entire thing. all of it. there might be formatting issues but i don't care. die

-=-INITIAL LOGIN-=-

LILLIE: Alola, !

GLADION: Hey! We've been looking all over for you. Got a favor to ask. Lillie went and entered us into this family battle competition that's coming up soon…

LUSAMINE: But we don't really have any experience battling together as a team, you see. We were hoping you could introduce us to a good instructor who could show us the ropes.

LILLIE: I want us to be able to show our full power in the competition as a family- me, my brother, and our mother, all together! Will you help us, ?

-=-A FAMILY AGAINST ALL ODDS-=-

KOGA: Fwahahaha! The victory is ours!

GLADION: Did you see how in sync they were? How could there be that much of a gap between us…

LUSAMINE: Going from three individuals battling to one cohesive unit is proving rather difficult, isn't it. Lillie, dear, why don't we try battling with just the two of us first and see how it goes?

LILLIE: OK!

JANINE: Good battle! Guess that's another victory for us!

LILLIE: I'm sorry, Mother…

LUSAMINE: No need to apologize, dear. I know you did the best you could. Gladion, let's try the same thing with you.

GLADION: Alright.

NARRATION: Lusamine and her family continued to fight hard, battle after battle. But it wasn't enough to defeat the father-daughter combo of Koga and Janine.

LUSAMINE: … … …

???: Look at them go.

LUSAMINE: Norman! I thought you couldn't make it today. Did your plans change?

NORMAN: Brendan has some things he has to take care of today, but I gave in to curiosity and decided to come check things out on my own. How's it going? Has the training worked out well for you?

LUSAMINE: I wish I could say it was going smoothly. I assumed that our love for eachother as a family would make syncing up in battle a trifle. It seems I was wrong.

NORMAN: Ah, don't worry. Brendan and I had a tough time finding our groove together in the beginning, too. We kept at it, though, and somewhere along the way, it just started to click for us. That's family, though, eh?

LUSAMINE: Family…

NORMAN: Don't trouble yourself over it too much, all right? You'll get there in time.

LUSAMINE: … … … That may have been true for you and your son, but we have very different families. I have a feeling I know the reason mine hasn't been successful in this…

NORMAN: Lusamine…?

KOGA: Yes! That was quite good!

JANINE: , Gladion, Lillie, you're doing great! You're really starting to move with confidence!

KOGA: At the rate you're going, the two of you will be able to sync up in battle without 's help in no time. I would expect no less from a pair of siblings like yourselves.

LILLIE: Of course! We're giving this our all!

GLADION: Hmph. We've got this. Come on, Lillie! Let's finish 'em together!

LUSAMINE: … … …

-=-A FAMILY DIVIDED-=-

NARRATION: Several days after the training session with Koga and Janine… the day of the family competition finally arrived.

LILLIE: Today's the day. We've got one math to prove ourselves. I hope we do well.

Have some confidence!

LILLIE: Y-you're right. I know. It's just… I wish we'd had a little more time to prepare. That's all.

GLADION: We did some more training after that first session with Koga… but the three of us are still struggling to get in sync with each other as a team.

LUSAMINE: … … …

LILLIE: Well, moping around won't fix anything, will it? Come on, let's try to cheer up! I promise to fight with my full power!

GLADION: You're right. Our strategy should be more than enough to defeat most of the teams here. We're gonna win this!

???: Hey, Gladion! Hey, Lillie!

GLADION: Brendan? I didn't know you were gonna be competing today.

BRENDAN: Yep! I'm here with my dad and Wally.

WALLY: Have you gone over to check the matchups yet?

LILLIE: What? No, we haven't had a chance yet.

BRENDAN: Ha! I'll save you the trip, then! You're looking at your opponents right here!

GLADION: What?!

LILLIE: We're matched up with you?!

BRENDAN: Haha! Hope you're prepared, 'cause we're in it to win it!

NORMAN: Brendan, Wally. You should start getting ready for the match soon.

BRENDAN: You got it, Dad.

LUSAMINE: I never would have guessed I'd be fighting against you, Norman.

NORMAN: It came as a surprise to me as well. Best of luck to both of us. Let's give it our all out there.

GLADION: … … … Hey… We need to change our strategy.

LILLIE: What?! What are you talking about, Gladion?

GLADION: Did you see who we're matched up against? There's no way we're gonna win against a powerhouse team from Hoenn like this. If we wanna win, we've gotta give up trying to get in sync with each other. It's just not working. Our only chance is to throw everything we've got at them individually!

LILLIE: Gladion, we can't just change our strategy like that right before the match.

GLADION: If we want our team to win, that's just what we're gonna have to do.

LILLIE: But… I… I think we should try our best to fight together as a family, even if it means we don't have a chance to win!

GLADION: Huh?! What's the matter with you? There's no point in competing if you're not trying to win!

NORMAN: All right, you two. Calm down. Talking things out is good, but getting into an argument right before a match isn't going to help anyone.

LUSAMINE: … … … I understand why you two are upset.

LILLIE: Mother…

GLADION: We're running out of time. Come on, we need to start preparing.

LUSAMINE: That won't be neccessary. There's only one solution that can solve our problem. I'm removing myself from this team.

LILLIE: What…?

-=-A TWO-WAY STREET-=-

GLADION: What do you mean you're removing yourself from the team?!

LILLIE: Where's this coming from, Mother?

LUSAMINE: The two of you should understand how I came to this conclusion. It's simple. There's an obstacle preventing our team from bonding together as a cohesive unit… Me.

LILLIE: That's not true!

LUSAMINE: It's all right, Lillie. I know this is my fault. I have to face to the consequences of the mistakes I made in the past. I opened up Ultra Wormholes across Alola, subjected our beautiful islands to so much chaos… And my selfish behavior tore our family apart. It's no wonder our efforts to unite as a team have been a struggle. I'm the one to blame.

LILLIE: Mother…

GLADION: … … …

LUSAMINE: … Please take my place in the competition and fight with Lillie and Gladion.

Are you sure?

LUSAMINE: I'm sure. With you by their side… I'm sure this team will be able to fight as one cohesive unit. With me out of the picture, this team may even stand a chance to win.

LILLIE: How can you be so selfish, Mother?! The whole reason I entered us into this competition was so that the three of us could fight together! And at the first turn, you want to leave us? Without you, there isn't a reason to take part anymore!

LUSAMINE: Lillie…

GLADION: Did you forget why we started practicing for this in the first place? This is a FAMILY competition. We wanted to win it together as family! If you won't even be on the team, I'd rather just withdraw altogether!

LUSAMINE: Gladion…

NORMAN: Lusamine, I don't claim to be a perfect parent either, but let me say this. Just as parents love their children and want what's best for them… children love their parents, too, and want what's best for us. It's not a one-way street.

LUSAMINE: I really am a poor excuse for a mother, aren't I. Once again, I tried to force my decision on them without stopping to consider how they might feel. This time will be different. Lillie, Gladion… I was so focused on doing what I thought was best for you, I never even stopped to ask if that was what you wanted. The two of you are already so strong. And not only that, you're also incredibly kind and caring. As your mother, I could learn a thing or two from you when it comes to that. So come on! Let's join together and show the competition the full extent of our power! We're going to win this as a family!

GLADION: We did it. We defeated Brendan's team.

LILLIE: We did it, Mother!

BRENDAN: Aw, man! I can't believe we lost to them!

NORMAN: Congratulations, Lusamine. That was a good battle. The evidence should be as clear as day after a victory like that. The three of you make a good team. And you make a good family.

LUSAMINE: …Thank you, Norman.

GLADION: When I heard our family would be fighting as a team, I had no idea how things would turn out. But I'm glad we did it.

LILLIE: Me too! It turned out to be so much fun! Mother… Gladion… Promise we'll do this together again sometime?

LUSAMINE: I promise.

GLADION: Hmph.

LUSAMINE: (Honey…) (I will continue to love our children and strengthen the bond of our family.) (I'll protect these wonderful smiles of theirs in the hope that one day, they'll be as bright as yours.)

-=-LOST AND FOUND-=-

LILLIE: Oh, ! Clefairy seems to have gotten lost. Would you mind coming with me to look for her?

Investigate Blissey

LILLIE: What about this pokemon?

HIKER: My Blissey's eggs are the best in the world! They say that Blissey's eggs are chock-full of happiness- and that anyone who eats them will be happy, too!

LILLIE: That's like something out of a fairy tale! How wonderful!

HIKER: In fact, since I eat them every day… you could say that my belly is chock-full of happiness!

Investigate Jigglypuff

LILLIE: What about this pokemon?

RISING STAR: Isn't my Jigglypuff cute? We're practicing singing right now! Here we go! … I'm feeling… kind of… sleepy…

LILLIE: Hmm… I wonder where my little Clefairy could have run off to. ! Did you hear that? That was Clefairy's cry!

GLADION: ! Clefairy had just about given up on waiting for you.

LILLIE: What?

GLADION: Unbelievable… I see your sense of direction is as bad as ever.

I guess it was actually you who was lost, Lillie?

LILLIE: Heeey! ! Oh, look! The moon's so pretty!

-=-GLADION'S PREDICAMENT-=-

GLADION: Hey, . Do you know any pokemon that can make string? My clothes got ripped while I was training. Some string should suffice for a quick fix.

Break rock. A Lass and Steenee are behind it.

GLADION: Hm? Are you hungry or something? … Hmph. Guess I have no choice. This is Silvally's, but I'll share some with you. ! What? I'm not giving away all of it! I'll save some for you!

Break rock. A Kakuna is behind it.

GLADION: Oh, great! If we could just get a little string…

Kakuna evolved into Beedrill!

GLADION: Uh-oh! Let's get out of here!

NARRATION: While they were making their escape, 's clothes got caught on a branch and ripped.

GLADION: Phew. Looks like we got away safely. ! Oh, come on… You can't get your own clothes ripped trying to help fix mine. That defeats the purpose!

CAMPER: Hurray! It finally evolved! H-huh? Ahhh!

GLADION: Hmph. Looks like he still has a long way to go in his training.

Talk to Gladion.

GLADION: This is shaping up to be a tough search. ! Hey! Isn't that…

There is an Ace Trainer with a Spinarak. Gladion approaches them and talks to them.

GLADION: All right. This should be enough. I'll fix your ripped clothes. Come here. Ok. All done

What about your clothes, Gladion?

GLADION: Hmph. My clothes can wait. I'm used to having a few rips in my outfit.

-=-GLADION THE GLADIATOR?-=-

GLADION: Hapu, who's this guy you want me to meet up with? Just spill it already!

HAPU: Don't be impatient, Gladion. You'll see for yourself soon enough. Ah! There he is now!

GRIMSLEY: This must be Gladion. I see what you meant, Hapu. He does have a sharp look in his eyes.

GLADION: And you are…?

GRIMSLEY: Hmph. I'm Grimsley, one of the Unova Elite Four. Hmph.

GLADION: Hmph.

LILLIE: Wait, that's it?!

HAPU: I had a feeling the two of you would see eye to eye. It seems I was correct.

SHAUNTAL: "Two men clad in all black stood before one another…" "In naught but a moment, a new friendship was born."

GLADION: I could learn a thing or two from someone like you, Grimsley. You can teach me things that'll take me to even greater heights as a Trainer! I'll be stronger than ever!

GRIMSLEY: And I'll be waiting to battle you myself once you get there.

LILLIE: That's great, Gladion! I've never seen you look so excited before.

HAPU: Indeed! I can feel a new strength starting to rise within him already… ! I've got it! Gladion, who fights with all of his might to rise to greater heights… We should call him Gladion the Gladiator! Haha!

GLADION: G-Gladiator?! Not exactly the nickname I had in mind…

GRIMSLEY: Hmph. Give it your best shot, Gladion the Gladiator.

LILLIE: We'll make quite a formidable pair, won't we! Never-lily-livered Lillie and Gladion the Gladiator! (TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: THE FOOTAGE SAYS GRIMSLEY IS SAYING THIS. TYPO IN THE GROUP CHAT)

GLADION: Sure… Yeah…

SHAUNTAL: "The young man in black had earned a new name for himself…" "Yet with this new name came new troubles as well."

-=-PASIO'S ELEGANT LADIES-=-

ERIKA: That was splendid, Lillie.

CAITLIN: I really enjoyed battling together.

LILLIE: Thank you! I had a lot of fun, too!

DARACH: Excellent battle, Miss Lillie. I could tell you were giving it your absolute best. Well done indeed!

GLADION: Lillie used to be so shy and reserved, always taking things slowly at her own pace… Hmph. Now she's like a totally different person.

LILLIE: I don't have time to take things slowly anymore. I became a Pokemon Trainer much later than you and Hau did. I want to catch up to your level as fast as I can, so I need to train extra hard. That's why I try to do my very best every single day! Like Hapu says- no one can call me lily-livered!

GLADION: Hmph. Right.

DARACH: I think it's wonderful that you're working so hard to improve yourself. Wouldn't you agree, Lady Caitlin?

LILLIE: Oh my gosh! Are you two feeling all right?

DARACH: Hoho, it seems your hardworking spirit must have rubbed off on the two of them, Miss Lillie. They look perfectly exhausted.

GLADION: (These two sleepyheads seem to have grown pretty powerful, slow pace or not… Could that actually be the secret to their strength?!) (I guess it would've been possible for Lillie to grow stronger in a similar way, even if she'd continued to take things slow…) (But as her brother, I kind of like this new Lillie… It's good to see her working hard and doing her best.)

-=-BEAST OR BEAUTY?-=-

NANU: This is bad news.

OLIVIA: Ultra Beasts like this are a threat to people and Pokemon alike. For one to appear here on Pasio…

NANU: Well, we can't just ignore something like this.

???: Wait! Don't!

LILLIE: That Pheromosa isn't a danger to anyone!

LUSAMINE: It appeared before me out of the blue one day, and it's been with me ever since. We've formed a sync pair together. It's been a very friendly companion to me.

OLIVIA: You formed a sync pair with an Ultra Beast?!

NANU: Your track record with those hasn't exactly been the cleanest, ma'am…

??? Whoa! Is that what I think it is?!

BUGSY: A Pheromosa! Wow! This is amazing! It's so beautiful!

VIOLA: Look at how long and graceful its body is- and that gorgeous white coloration! Yes! These shots are going to be fantastic!

OLIVIA: Wait, don't go near it! That Pokemon is-

NANU: … … … Aw, crud. This isn't like me… I must be gettin' tired in my old age. Right. I'm gonna go take a load off somewhere.

OLIVIA: Nanu?!

NANU: The only threats I see around here are my own preconceptions. Nothing to worry about, right, missy?

LILLIE: No, sir! Ultra Beasts are Pokemon, too, after all!

NANU: You take care of that partner of yours, Miss President.

-=-LET IT GO, LUSAMINE-=- (TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR THAT PHRASE ANYMORE AND NOT GO INTO A BLIND FRENZY HELP)

LUSAMINE: Will she be all right? Maybe I should go… No, I can't walk away now…

???: What are you doing over here, Lusamine?

LUSAMINE: A-Acerola! My goodness, you nearly scared me to death!

ACEROLA: Oh! Isn't that Lillie over there? Lillie!

LUSAMINE: Shh! Stop! Stop! … Phew… That was close.

SERENA: Are you trying to keep an eye on her in secret or something?

LUSAMINE: Actually, I am. Lillie is shopping for clothes with her friends right now. But… I'm afraid she'll pick out something strange!

ACEROLA: Hahaha! She'll be fine!

SERENA: Yeah! Lisia and Candice both have an amazing sense of style. Trust me- she's in good hands.

LUSAMINE: You're right… As a parent, I need to learn to trust my children more.

ACEROLA: Hold on… It looks like someone else is joining them.

Clair approaches Lillie, Candice, and Lisia.

LUSAMINE: Who is that?! And what is that skintight aqua bodysuit she's strutting around in?! She looks so bold and confident… What if she starts to rub off on Lillie? What if Lillie tries to imitate her fashion?! Oh dear…

SERENA: Ummm, I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen…

LUSAMINE: I have to do something… I'm her mother, so it's my duty to step in and put a stop to this, right?

SERENA: It's not going to be easy to move on from your past ways if you continue on like this, Lusamine…

-=-AN UNEXPECTED REUNION-=-

GUZMA: Well, well… I didn't think I'd run into Madam Prez herself way out here on Pasio.

LUSAMINE: I see you made your way here as well, Guzma…

GUZMA: Meh. Alola was too small for us. You sure seem to have changed a lot over the journey… I saw that look in your eye. You never made a face like that when we were on the same time. You ain't even the same person now.

LUSAMINE: … … …

GUZMA: You used to have this gleam in your eye… Like you knew you had the power to change the whole world right at your fingertips. I used to wanna be like you… But now?

LUSAMINE: You're not wrong… I have changed. Are you disappointed?

GUZMA: Nah.

LUSAMINE: What?

GUZMA: That face you were makin' a minute ago… You looked kinda like a real mom. Your kids deserve to have this person in their lives, not that power-hungry lady with a gleam in her eye. This new you that's spendin' a quiet afternoon shoppin' with her kids… she'll make 'em much happier. Guzma! What is wrong with you?! You're turnin' into a pile of mush… See ya, Madam Prez. Next time, let's have a Pokemon battle or somethin'.

LUSAMINE: (It seems I'm not the only one who's changed, Guzma…)

-=-SIBLING ADVANTAGES-=-

LANCE: All right, let's leave it there for today.

LILLIE: Thank you so much! I feel like I learned a lot!

GLADION: It's crazy how much people's personalities come through when battling tag team. You move like you have twin telepathy, Tate and Liza. It seems like you always know what the other is gonna do. In a battle format where teamwork is key, that's a huge plus to have. Lance and Clair, I know that you two are cousins…

CLAIR: chuckle Aren't we fantastic?

GLADION: Compared to Tate and Liza, you two seemed to move pretty independently of each other.

CLAIR: !

GLADION: But that just proves how much you trust eachother and respect each other's skill. You don't need me to tell you how strong you are.

LANCE: Thanks for the analysis. You've got a good eye.

TATE: Your coordination with Lillie was really great, too, Gladion!

GLADION: It was?

CLAIR: I thought so. It was a little awkward here and there, but both of you really shined through.

LIZA: Yeah! And I noticed that when Lillie looked like she was in trouble, you jumped in and covered for her. You really looked like a big brother then!

GLADION: Wha- W-well, what else was I supposed to do…

LANCE: You're not twins or cousins- you're siblings. That relationship is something you can use to your advantage. You would do well to utilize it moving forward.

GLADION: An advantage, huh. Seems like having a sibling on your team may not be a bad thing at all.

LILLIE: Yeah! Let's use it to our advantage!

-=-PAST VS. FUTURE-=-

LUSAMINE: Come on out, Pheromosa. Our little stroll is over now. It's time to go home. ! Silvally? Is Gladion around here, too? Silvally… I like that name much better than Type: Null. Gladion, Lillie, and I have become a family again… but the mistakes I made in the past haven't just disappeared. You were created for the purpose of fighting the Ultra Beasts. All that experimentation we put you through… It must have been terrible. When you look at me now… do you hate me for what I did?

???: Silvally doesn't hate you.

LUSAMINE: Gladion…

GLADION: Silvally's not the type to dwell on things that happened in the past. When it destroyed its control mask, it let go of all the pain and hatred it felt with it. Now, Silvally's focused on the future more than anything else.

LUSAMINE: The future…

GLADION: Yeah. And when it thinks about the future, I'm sure you and Pheromosa are right there along with us. As our allies, fighting right there beside us. You should try it sometime, too, Mother… Focusing on the future, I mean.

LUSAMINE: You're right… Rather than dwelling on the past… what I should be doing is looking ahead at our future.

-=-A FAMILY OF RIVALS-=-

LILLIE: Wow! I think we did better in this last battle together than we did during the competition!

LUSAMINE: I agree. Our team coordination has improved quite a bit.

LILLIE: Is something the matter, Gladion?

GLADION: Just thinking about something that's been nagging at me… You and Pheromosa basically have limitless potential when it comes to your strength. Who really knows what you're capable of? Any way you look at it, you two are a lot stronger than Silvally and me…

LUSAMINE: chuckle Stop, Gladion. You're making us blush.

GLADION: I don't plan on leaving it that way, Mother. I'll show you that Silvally and I can become stronger than any other sync pair! Because… I want to protect you and Lillie. I want to protect my family.

LUSAMINE: Gladion…

LILLIE: I'm going to do my best, too! I'm going to work hard to hone my skills as a Trainer. Someday, I'll be even stronger than you and Mother! Like Hapu says- no one can call me lily-livered?

LUSAMINE: Lillie… chuckle It makes me so proud seeing how confident the two of you have become… but you're still a long, long way from surpassing me, my dears. My strength in battle comes from the deep love that I have for my Pokemon.

GLADION: Hmph. That sounds like a challenge. Let's see which one of us can become the strongest! We may be family… but we're rivals, too!

-=-END-=-

[mayalaen]

I saw your post about how your personality has changed and I was curious (sorry if this is out of line) but I know in your author notes for CON verse you spoke a bit about your experience with schizophrenia and how you essentially wrote cas as very similar to your experience. I was wondering if that aspect, like the personality change thing, was going to come up at all in the fic. I understand Cas is like wrangling with letting his walls down for Dean and others (and it seems there may have been hints to Cas having past trauma he doesn’t realize yet but that’s another point), but I was wondering if what was happening in the 3rd installment was enough to warrant some personality changes or even just your thoughts on it

No worries -- I really don't mind people asking about my psych stuff or about the fics I write :) This turns into a long reply, but there’s a tl;dr at the end if you want the quick version.

Since I gave Cas my schiz, he already had his biggest personality change a little while after graduating from the academy.

I've almost finished a part that is possibly going to be Part 7 (might be 6, 8, or 9 depending on a few factors) called Bounded Rationality, and it's going to be in a then/now format showing what Cas and Dean are dealing with now on a case and how it ties in with Dean's 1st year at the academy, which was also Cas' 5th year.

It'll show readers more about how the academy works and everyone should get a better feel for the CON offices and clinic as well and the origins of the CON itself.

Dean didn't know Cas when they went through the academy. Even though the school isn't that big, they're four years apart and hang in different circles. Cas is going to read as out of character because he hasn't had that big personality change yet.

In another part I haven't started writing yet, readers will get to see what happens when Cas hits that big personality-changing episode.

I'm not trying to be all woe is me here, but even though it seemed kinda rough, the episode in Part 3 wasn't a significant enough episode to cause more than very small changes for Cas (or me).

I'm struggling with how I want to write the episode where Cas goes through the big changes because it could quickly turn into a long sad downer. It really took a lot for me to get into and stay in the episode that caused the big personality change for me. In all, mine lasted five years, and it conveniently explains how he went through so many Handlers during that time, but reading it would be like five years of how he was in Zurich and that’s weird for his job. (I say that like it wasn’t weird for MY job at the time and I still worked through it without anybody realizing thanks to supportive people around me like Cas has).

Over the next few parts, readers are going to see something happening with Dean's personality. My ultimate goal for the 'verse is to not only tell everybody's stories and be a fun/dark read that hopefully helps people understand schiz a little more, but also that each of the characters change and become more like their canon counterparts (unlike the original fic version of this 'verse which has "Cas" and "Dean" becoming more like the characters I had in my head since I was 10 years old).

CON 'verse Dean didn't have the upbringing canon Dean did, and he needs to go through some shit to get there.

Dean took a turn in canon that I didn't really like, so I'm kind of ripping out shit I don't like and shoving in other parts until I get a kickass Dean who is more aggressive and can be brutal.

He'll have to fall into asshole territory for a bit while he goes through a THING, then he gets help and will settle into the Dean I really like between season 4 post-hell Dean and late-series dickhead who hurts the people he loves and lashes out (because that Dean doesn’t exist even in canon amiright?! just let me live in my bubble).

I have a lot of plans for hurting pretty much every character in the series, and all of it will impact Dean and Cas in some way.

tl;dr yes you'll see Cas' big personality changes, but it'll be in backstory because he already had that change in his mid 20s :D

[sachirou-senpai]

NSFW Alphabet.

How it works: Send me a character and a maximum of 3 letters, and I'll give you my headcanons for that letter! Remember the headcanons are only what I think, and if you don't agree with them, just move on.

Who you can request for: Any character from Haikyuu, Naruto, Jujutsu Kaisen, Fire Force. (P.S. I really like underrated characters) Also, I'd really like some non-haikyuu ones!

Disclaimer: This is absolutely not mine. I have no idea where this originated from, I think it's like one of those old fanfiction legends you never really know where it came from. If you know who originally made it, tell me where and I'll add credit! I did do the format, though.

I'll be answering a couple of these everyday, in (roughly) the order that they came in, so be patient if your ask isn't answered right away.

Request Status: Closed except for Konro. Love him.

→ A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex.)

→ B = Body part (Their favorite body part of themselves, and also their partner’s.)

→ C = Cum (Anything to do with cum.)

→ D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs.)

→ E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

→ F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

→ G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous?)

→ H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes?)

→ I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect.)

→ J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon.)

→ K = Kink (One or more of their kinks.)

→ L = Location (Favorite places to do the do.)

→ M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going.)

→ N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs.)

→ O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

→ P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

→ Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

→ R = Risk (Are they willing to experiment, do they take risks?)

→ S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

→ T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

→ U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

→ V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make.)

→ W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice.)

→ X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants.)

→ Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

→ Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards.)

Please don't reblog, I don't really want this to be a popular post on my blog.

[n3verending16]

you were good to me - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

So, this is my first ever fanfic! Aah! Writing this was 100% a daunting experience for me, but I largely enjoyed writing it (posting it tho? *rapidly spams space button to align lyrics with the middle* *posts* *formatting is completely off and i have to do it all over again* *screams*). If you have any constructive criticism/ formatting tips, please comment it or send me a message ʕ •́؈•̀ ₎

Not requested, but certainly inspired by all the other oikawa x reader writer-chans out there (and a good friend of mine, yejin if you're reading this ily smkamsjskamssjk)!

caitlin and cindy ily too uwu

Based off "you were good to me"

All credits belong to their rightful owners

………………………………………………………………………………………

Lying, isn't better than silence

"I don't love you anymore."

Oikawa Tooru could feel the bitter aftertaste of his own words to you that night.

Floating, but I feel like I'm dying

One year later, and he still couldn't break off the chains that anchored him down every time he jumped for the ball in a match. He couldn't fly like he used to, the guilt in his gut pressing him down every time he looked towards the stands and you weren't there, cheering for him as you usually did. It was his choice, his fault. And he regretted it, although he wished he didn't.

Still, no matter where I go

At the end of every road

You had always been there for him before, whenever he felt he wasn't good enough. The gentle caress of your fingers through his hair and your soft eyes peering into his own chocolate irises had helped him get over the loss of the match and focus on getting even better than he was. On particularly harsh days, you sang him to sleep, the dulcet tones and lull of your voice relaxing him as he passed into a gentle slumber.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You had always been understanding of him whenever he ended his practice sessions late. You never asked for his time, knowing his passion for volleyball burned brighter than anything you'd ever seen before, and you wanted to support him. You hugged and congratulated him with a smile on your face when he won, and you comforted him when he lost, but most importantly, you were always there in his life. A constant he could trust, someone he could rely on, someone he could love. He'd been thankful for it. And yet, when he saw the successful application to the Argentinian Volleyball Team, he was hit with the truth. Oikawa was moving to a country on the other side of the world, and things would've gotten so much harder for the both of you. You deserved someone that was so much more than him, someone who would hold you at night, someone who could go on real dates with you, someone who could, and would, put their own time away for you. As much as it hurt him, he knew for your own good, he had to let you go. So he did it the way he hoped would hurt you the least.

I know it's easier to run

After everything I've done

Cut it off. Keep your emotions away from this. This is what's best for them.

"I'm moving to Argentina, and I think it's time I tell you something..."

"I don't love you anymore. We should end things."

You were good to me

Yeah, you were good to me

He still hears your quiet sobs that night sometimes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Leaving, isn't better than trying

You'd spent that night lying on the couch, crying to yourself over your boyfriend who'd just walked out on you. What had you done wrong? Were you still not good enough for him? As soon as you had began to stop, reduced to sniffles, images of his silhouetted back as he walked out the front door and the cold glint in his brown eyes as he said the words that broke your heart flashed through your mind made you start bawling all over again. Had everything that had happened between the two of you been a lie? Had your presence in his life not mattered to him as much as his presence in yours?

Growing, but I'm just growing tired

You would've liked to say you were a different person than you had been one year ago. You would've liked to be spiteful and show Oikawa Tooru, international volleyball star, that you had outgrown being lovesick and was now independent and successful, with people who truly loved you. You would've liked to tell yourself that you were so, so much better off without him. But that was a lie, and you were not one to lie to yourself.

Now I'm worried for my soul

And I'm still scared of growing old

You had, honestly, tried to get over him though. You'd made yourself pass out from drunkenness only to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and the incident more ingrained into your head. You'd busied yourself with cooking, gaming and knitting, and when that hadn't worked, considered a one-night stand from an overly amiable guy you'd just met at the corner café, after deciding against it when one of the girls standing in front of the window outside sent you two a deathly stare. You'd stacked all of his belongings and tried to burn them, until you realised your shaky hands couldn't start the lighter properly.

Even if you had forgotten him for a while, a dull, grey, reprieve from the emotions in your head, it wouldn't have been for long; the memories were everywhere. There was the book he'd accidentally spilt his bubble tea in when you snuck up behind him. There was the somewhat-lopsided drawer, a result of when it got stuck and he'd tried to force it in anyway, ending up in the sides breaking. There was the red christmas mug you'd gotten for him; only to realise he'd given you the exact same one, but green. The small bin in your room was full of milk bread wrappers. Even the study desk in the corner reminded you of days where he would try to draw something cute for you- you'd laughed and told him he had all the time in the world to improve.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

That had clearly been a lie. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to believe the words he'd said to you before he left a year ago were the truth. You had been sure that your relationship was pure, built from the ground on trust and a mutual understanding of each other- you'd respect his love for volleyball, he'd respect your desire to work harder in your career. Sure, he didn't sound like he was lying, but he was THE Oikawa Tooru- a man who held his confident and flippant façade up to the spotlights, letting the light shine on him however he pleased. You needed to know the truth, and like a burning question at the back of your mind, it never disappeared- before you contacted Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend and your former close classmate, who told you "It was about time you knew the truth". You were glad to have heard those words.

After having a long conversation with Haji (most of it was you cussing), you wanted to hug Oikawa and punch him at the same time.

One decision led to another and the next day, you were standing on an airplane one year after the breakup with a plane ticket clutched in your hands, and a ticket to the Argentina vs Spain match folded up neatly in your purse.

"Try to let him off easy, yeah? He hasn't been at his best ever since he left you. I think he still regrets it."

………………………………………………………………………………………

And I'm so used to letting go

But I don't wanna be alone

There's noise in the stadium, filled with the audience's cheers and camera shutters going off, but drowned out by the silence in his own head. Oikawa lines the ball up to serve, watching the other team, analysing their positions. "Where should I hit?" he thinks to himself. This is his chance to take another set against Spain. If he misses this one, they will have lost the match 3-1, and it would've been his fault. He can't let that happen. The whistle blows, the ball goes up, and he's doing his jump-serve again, feeling the chains around his feet ready to snap taut like always.

But then amidst the bright lights, among the screaming crowd, he sees a flash of white and teal. Time seems to stop, and he floats in the air.

Was't that his Aoba Johsai volleyball jacket from high school? The one that he'd left behind at your house?

At first, he dismissed it quickly, thinking it was another die-hard fangirl who had one made or maybe even someone from his old team, because no way in hell could you be here right now watching him play when he'd walked out of your life and caused you so much pain and heartbreak one year ago. But then he saw the black purse, with a delicate pink floral pattern and gold highlights. The one he'd gotten for you on your birthday. He meets your wide eyes, your name is on his lips as he stares at your form.

But time moves again. And he grunts as his palm makes contact with the ball, making it fly into the corner and the other team turns and gapes at where surely there was a dent in the ground from the impact. They'd taken back a set, the score was 2-2. His team cheers wildly around him. The commentators rapidly fire off about the service ace- something he hadn't been able to do for a long time.

He's still staring at you in mid-air, but then he falls, meets the ground, his legs give out from under him and everything blurs.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You stare, lips parted as he collapses, slightly rising from your seat from worry. Had his knee gotten any better from before? Would he still be okay? Surely everything he'd worked for couldn't just end from a fall... but you realised if it did, it would've been your fault. You were, after all, the one who distracted him. Something punches you in the gut as you watch him get up, and he looks at you, the expression on his face one of pure shock and something you can't quite decipher. He keeps his eyes on yours as they shrug on his national sports jacket and carry him off, and you stare into his milky chocolate irises until the doors close behind him. Then you're pushing yourself through the crowd of seated anxious girls to find him again.

God only knows where our fears go

Hearts I've broke, now my tears flow

Oikawa finds himself in the hallway staring at the azure blue sky outside the window as a flock of birds soars past. The medics fuss over him, lifting his mildly sore leg and checking it once, twice, and he absentmindedly nods at their questions. There's a commotion at the door at the end of the hallway and he hears your muffled, strained voice. "No, please! I need to see him... you don't understand..." Eyes widening, he lifts himself up and hobbles over to the door at the end of the hallway, ignoring the protests of the baffled medics and guards. He puts his hand on the handle of the door and pushes, finding you arguing with a guard on the other side of the door. He hears his name from you, your voice giving him comfort. He smiles, albeit a broken one but still, a genuine smile, before he falls, his knee giving out again.

But this time, you're there to catch him.

You'll see that I'm sorry

Cause you were good to me

You were good to me

You hold Tooru as he sobs onto your shoulder. His tears cascade down his face as he clings to you, and he knows he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve you. Why had you tried to find him, after he broke your heart a year ago? You realise you're crying too when your vision blurs and all you can sense is the warmth from his skin on yours, his smell filtering the air around you. You take a deep breath in, honey vanilla with slight mint curling into your nose. People awkwardly stand by as they watch the reunion, mindful of the emotions and rawness in the air but also aware of the need to relieve pressure from his leg a bit. Eventually, someone bites the bullet and Oikawa sits down against the wall with you on his right. "You came here from Japan." Tooru hoarsely whispers. "Why?"

Before you could answer, the door opens and his teammate pops his head in, taking note of the people standing uncomfortably around.

"Hey Tooru, are you gonna be able to play?" he speaks in Spanish. He takes sight of you, a girl he's seen somewhere before, sitting next to his friend, and pauses.

"Wait, isn't that the girl on your wallpaper? I thought you said- never mind." He carefully speaks in broken English.

"Anyways, coach says if you're still fine we can send you in." You blink as Tooru puts his arm around you, a pout evident on his face. "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to play (the medic nods along in agreement), just give me a few moments." he answers. His teammate hesitates, nods, and closes the door. Tooru turns his head and rests his head on your shoulder, his fluffy brown hair tickling your neck. You nearly want to cry at what his teammate just told said. "Oh, Tooru..."

"You still haven't answered the question," he tells you. "Iwa-chan must've told you that I left because you deserved more than someone who couldn't be here for you. I don't deserve you, y/n-chan. You deserve to be happy, and... I'm not the one." He tucks away your air behind your ear. "But now that you're here, I can't help but want to be selfish. I want us to be together. I still want you."

You can't help laughing quietly at him, the little pout forming on his face again. "Oh Tooru... you wanted me to be happy. And you thought leaving me so brashly would achieve that? You forgot one very, very important thing." You lean into his shoulder, and play with his calloused fingers.

And now I'm closing every door

Cause I'm sick of wanting more

"If I'm ever to be truly happy..." You tell him, shifting yourself so you're cupping his soft cheeks and looking into his chocolate eyes. "Then you are, absolutely, essential in my life." His heart leaps, soaring at your words. After all that time, you still...

You tut at the dreamlike, adorable expression on his face. "C'mon, Tooru. Don't cry on me now. You've still got a match to win, don't you?" He breaks himself out of his reverie as you lightly pinch his cheeks, and grins ear to ear as you begin to move back to the stands. "Wait, wait." He shrugs his volleyball jacket off his shoulders and hands it to you. "Wear this over that, I want everyone to know you're still mine." You rolls your eyes at his childish request, "Your fangirls are going to kill me, I swear," but comply nevertheless. He's still smiling as he watches his oversized jacket swish around at your mid-thigh as you walk towards the doors. Anything else could come after the match, but for now, this was good enough for him.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

For the rest of that match, for the first time, Oikawa Tooru flies. They do eventually win, 3-2. He's never felt more ecstatic as he pulls you in happily, kissing all over your face and handing you his Most Valuable Player award as you giggle from his childlike antics. The reporters rapidly take note of everything and theres a collective groan from the gaggle of fangirls somewhere, but it's you and him both in your own little world.

Swear I'm different than before

I won't hurt you anymore

Life goes on. You fly back to Japan, with a promise that he would never shut you out again. Sure, you would've preferred it if he was next to you, but you called and messaged each other so frequently that you found you had little to worry about. In rare spaces of time, he flew back to Japan to meet family and friends before spoiling you on dates, decorating your house ("Hey, we need to retake this photo! I'm even better looking now!") or cuddling on the couch together. Every relationship had its downsides, and long-distance relationships were even more a pain, but you were more than ready to take the troubles on if it meant you could still see his smiling face through the messenger call at 1am in the morning.

And you knew this time, he wouldn't stop you from trying.

Cause you were good to me