#the food service of it all kicks my ass sometimes

[sliipperypeople]

Coming home from a midnight dishwashing shift

[pedge-page]

Plushies 5 - Piggy

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Plushies Series Masterlist but Can be read as standalone

^^Story is not nearly as serious as the gif--its just the knife bit that counts.

Summary: Date night starts with being hungry--but ends with a different kind of hunger.

Warnings: Plushie humping, unconventional toy in the bedroom, unprotected sex, daddy kink, doggy, cowgirl/riding, degrading and praise, lots of giggles at the end, mentions of a fight, cum eating, creampie, a little Protective!Joel, comedic dumbassery for these two as usual

18+ ONLY

- - - -

When you and Joel occasionally decide to treat yourself for an all out dinner, sometimes it’s a lovely table service, nice dress occasion, with a sexy glass of wine and 5 pieces of cutlery—and other times it’s at the Hungry Pot with a giant cheese smothered greasy loaded brisket and bottomless coke/root beer floats. Tonight was a Hungry Pot night. And while you were excited to indulge Joel’s starving belly after a long and physically taxing day, having him nearly start a fight at the bar only 10 minutes after the two of you were seated wasn’t exactly the date you wanted.

Not that the night was ruined at all. It’s not his fault you get so wet when he goes alpha mode.

“Bed. Now,” you command. Your warm hands force him into your room. The two of you had whisked out of there before the food was even ready. Not really because he was worried about being kicked out, but because he could see the look in your eyes and knew this was going to be a different kind of date night.

 He could barely keep his hands off you in the car, and the wet throb pooling between your legs didn’t help either.

He plops his ass down on the cushion, famish gaze looking up to you tower over him between his thighs. It’s one of the few times Joel obeys you. You push him back, climbing over his waist as his hands go to their usual spot on your sides.

“My hero,” you charm. Your lips devour his, tongue poking through his teeth. His neck strains to keep your mouth on his.

His hands move to your upper back to hold you close but you immediately grab his wrists and pin them to the bed. 

He smirks. 

“Ya like being in charge?”

You shake your head bashfully, nipping his lower lip. “Just want you—and you’re taking too long.” His ravenous eyes piercing yours then down to your lips.

“Jesus. Like watchin’ me get all riled up in front of you? Bet you do. Makes that little pussy gush, don’t it?” He greedily sucks your tongue back in his mouth, hips grinding down against his poking bulge. “My perfect, sinful angel.”

Your digits slide upwards, entangling your fingers together as the two of your hands move up along the bed, over his head while you continue to make out.

There’s sudden movement—and Joel immediately tenses, hands escaping yours—“Thefuck—what”— and he’s karate chopping something alive in the mess of your plushies that goes flying out of the bed and into the corner of your room violently. 

“S’something movin’! Get back!” He orders.

You feel your entire body being hoisted up on to your feet, Joel protectively guarding in front of you. arms holding you close as bay behind his massive figure as he scans the room ready to pounce again. 

The two of you can hear the faint lively buzzing of the thing that was living in your bed. And you finally sigh in relief. 

"Joel! That’s Mr Oinkers!"

Joel has an incredulous look back at you. Now you want to scold the man trying to protect you for yoinking him so fucking hard. You brush past the brown bear of a man despite his worrying stance and retrieve the poor squished pig from the floor. He’s got a big dent in his poor face—Joel’s punch right on target even when it surprises him. You refluff the pink piglet gently to his original rounded and exceedingly huggable shape. 

You hand it to Joel, now more curious than defensive. His large hands tentatively engulf its entire body, sending it into a little spasm of vibrations.

He stares at it with a mixture of disgust and amusement. “What the fuck."

"It vibrates when you hug it."

"Where the fuck you huggin this, between your legs? They sell this to kids?"

“Oh my god, It’s not THAT kind of toy.” Who gave this man such a dirty brain? “Besides, it doesn't have that level of power. Just give it a regular, loving squeeze and it vibrates a little. Like an interactive teddy bear when you hug it?"

His eyes don’t really say much. He twists it like a wheel, inspecting the underside, gauging the weight of the battery pack safely snuggled inside. It’s gone still in his hand, but when he gives it a firm squeeze, the little jiggles come back to life, humming in the quiet room. A small, yet distinctly Joel, smirk begins to tug at the corner of his mouth.

And--oh fuck—you know that look.

-

It’s the look of ‘Kiss this plushie’s virginity goodbye’ look—so oddly specific and yet so trademarked by your boyfriend now. 

He practically holds Mr Oinkers hostage for the next hour,  cradling it under his massive arm as he sifts through your kitchen drawers. You hover around him, partially unsure what he’s up to, but also for poor Mr Oinker’s safety. While you love Joel being rough with you, you don’t like when he gets too aggressive manhandling your poor little squishes. They have to live at least until you die and that means coddling them with delicate, loving embraces, sweet kisses and regular poofing—.

NOT LIKE JOEL RIPPING THE SEAM WITH A PAIRING KNIFE RIGHT NOW.

“JOEL!” 

The horrid sound of scratchy tearing of fabric rapes your ears like nails on a chalkboard, and you instantly go to seize the pig from his grasps.

But Joel yanks it just right out of your reach, your hand closing around thin air.

“Ah! Don’t play around when Daddy has sharp tools.”

“Fuck off, Joel, you just ripped my plushie!”

He brushes you off. “Mr. Piggy—“

“—It’s Mr. Oinkers.”

“—The pig—is just havin’ a bit of surgery—“ his  fingers dig into the fresh hole, pries apart the back flesh of the pig even more, making your ears twinge with pain at the continued horrors—“gonna sew him back up, sweet pea, don’t worry.” He looks at your bewildered and near crying state and chuckles. “Jesus. I PROMISE—gonna make him just like new okay? Now please stop worrying?” He caresses your cheek with soft grace, thumb soothing over the redden state of your eyes.

You nod, refusing to cry over it. “Okay...” you whisper, adding a quick “fucker,” and calm down now that you’ve uttered the necessary retort. “Please—be gentle…” you say meekly, eyes trained on the gash in Mr. Oinkers once smooth body. The cotton filling practically gushes out, wanting to escape like pussing blood.

He kisses your forehead. “I promise. Now go take a shower, and let me finish with my patient here, yeah?”

With a final little kiss to your forehead, you do as he tells you. 

Afterwards, you can’t help but anxiously pace, peeking towards the harsh light of the kitchen where Joel works. He had splayed out more tools found in your apartment—a litany of batteries, thread and needle, a screwdriver, the fished out battery pack from deep inside the plushy’s wound.

True to his word, Joel keeps a surprisingly gentle touch. He carefully removes and replaces the batteries with a different—more sinister pair, places the cotton filling back in, glasses perched on his big nose as he holds the fabric close, sewing little strokes with the thin thread like an expert ancient seamstress, quiet and concentrated in his habitat.

And despite all his intimidating physique and attitude, the thing that you loved about him so much was that he was just as delicate. He fucks you like rag doll one minute then is tending to you with the softest, sweetest touches and kisses. The man is practically a walking paradox.

It makes you wet all over again.

So when he tells you to get naked on the bed and straddle the now recovered from surgery Mr. Oinker’s, you don’t even question it. You so badly want to please him again and again.

Joel settles right behind you. Your bare crotch hovers just over Mr Oinker’s poor squishy face—but what’s one more sacrifice to the Pussy King’s use? 

You feel hot open mouth kisses along the length of your spine, his fingers curling around your sides, gliding up your breasts with smooth, ticklish haste. 

“Go on, give ‘im a big hug,” he whispers to the shell of your ear. “Between your legs,” he adds with a chuckle.

You sink down your knees a little further, feeling your dripping entrance make contact with the soft, stuffed plush. The pig jolts to life with a violent seizure—far more aggressive than it ever did before.

“Oh!—OH god!” You moan, instantly wanting to pull away, but the firm press of Joel to your back prevents you from going anywhere. The plush vibrates extra violently between your legs, nudging your little clit repeatedly. 

“Feel good, baby? Gave him a stronger dosage.” You feel the hard press of his bare cock humping along the crack of your ass, his arms draped over you with palms flat into the mattress—caging you between himself and Mr. Oinkers. 

“I—you—“

“Lay forward. Let me and the Pig do all the work.”

He presses his forehead on your upper back, forcing you down until your face is relaxed into the pillow. You barely hum a “Mr. Oinkers” to correct him. Joel shakes his head, unresponsive.

The new position pushes your clit even more snugly into the lively Pig’s jittery tummy. You moan out loudly, your clit sucking up the pleasant sensation.

You hear him laugh a little at the state of you: ass up, face down with a fun little vibration toy wedged in your slit. He pumps his hard cock in his hand a few times before sighing. 

“Put it in f’me,” he says.

You don’t hesitate—reaching your trembling hand, so shaken with pleasure, behind you to grasp his throbbing length, pulling the bulbous tip closer so that it parts your petaled folds. Joel grunts at the feeling of the plushie vibrating along the underside of his balls. He thrusts in slowly, stretching you wide to accomodate his thick girth.

“Fuck me with a hoe, baby girl, you’re so perfect f’me,” he moans. 

Joel pauses, savoring the mix of vibration and tight squeeze of your cunt sucking him in. 

“Joooooeeeeeellllllll,” You whine desperately. You try to wiggle your hips to incite movement but he holds you still.

“Sorry baby, man’s gotta enjoy what’s his.” 

Your heart swells, resigning to his desire. Hishishishis, rolls over in your mind like a placate spell. I’m his.

You feel the warm weight of his belly conforming to the arch in your spine, his hot breath tickling your ear once more with a sweet kiss. “Piggy treatin’ you real good down there?”

“Ah—mhmm—it’s s’good. So good, Daddy.”

“Yeah? Smother him with your cute little nub. He’s so excited to get a taste of ya pussy. Just like me.”

You bury your face into the pillow—Joel’s deisgnated pillow. His scent fills your nostrils, the hot stretch of his cock fills your cunt. All while you can’t help but start grinding your sopping pussy against the plush, effectively touching your clit with mad vibration while also fucking yourself on to Joel. 

“So hungry, babygirl,” he grunts. “Told ya, let Daddy and his new friend help ya. Just stay still like the good girl I know.” Hot paws wrap around your hips as he begins to work a steady pace, thrusting in and out of you while also pressing your ass down into the piggy’s face. He watches his cock disappear into you before emerging with glistening slick of your sweet juices, so wet pent up and needy for him all night. 

And the damn PIG between your legs just happily jittering with violent spasms nonstop makes it impossible to ignore the knot growing in your lower belly.

Joel can feel it too—the way your walls are closing in on him. 

“What does my babygirl say?”

“T-thank you—Daddy!”

“Wrong.” He starts a quicker pace, making you cry into the pillow with each unforgiving rut. “Give ya a hint—the cow goes moo, dog goes bark—what does the piggy say…?”

“I—I don’t—”Oh god, he can’t seriously be asking…

“Oink for me.”

“Ugh—Joel—no, fuck—I’m close. Right there please!”

But right as you’re on the cusp of your orgasm, he pulls back, lifting your hips with him so the Pig just barely graces your folds as he shallowly grinding his hips against your ass.

“Cmon, make the little guy between your legs proud. And the big one inside you too. Do it for me,” he repeats, a hint of sadistic satire dripping in his voice. “Oink like a pig.”

But you groan in frustration again. His hands keep you pinned high, locking you uncomfortably, unable to leverage your knees to fuck yourself back onto him and finish the job. You so badly need to cum, the persistent hum on your inner thighs making your legs quiver, practically begging to have the wet animal feasting on you again. 

The consideration of embarrassment over your release only washes over you briefly before your opening your lips and bubbling his wish from deep within your throat:

Snort—“O-oink,” you cry meekly. “Oi-nk”.- Snort— “oink!”

He stops moving entirely. You almost want to cry, because what the fuck—he said he’d let you cum! The room is silent minus the persistent buzzing muffled just out of reach under you.

Then you feel little shakes behind you, like something caught in Joel’s chest. The shakes grow, rippling through his body— until you can hear him— laughing out uncontrollably with tears in his eyes while he’s still buried balls deep inside you.

"That's... That's not funny Joel!"

"I'm sorry I just didn't think you'd actually do it!" He slips out of you and sits back on his haunches, arching backwards as he clutches his chest from wheezing so hard.

And he’s still cackling, hardly noticing he’s the only one laughing, nor the lack of mirth in your body language, the shift in your positions as you roll him on his back and straddling the big hunk of giggles. And it’s only when you’re lining his dick along your wet pussy that his amusement goes stale.

“—Hah!—oh—oh shit." 

His hands instantly seek purchase on your waist, mouth parted ever so slightly with eyes glued to the space between you where his tip just barely begins to poke your folds.

You hover over him for an agonizing amount of time, refusing grant him entry.

"You... told me to,” you say, face red and hiding from him. 

While he was so hyped up on the adrenaline that you were finally going to take charge in this rare moment, he now sees it in you. Yes—you were embarrassed. But yes—you wanted to please him so badly that it was worth the shot. He can feel himself swell in your hand, precum and your juices coating his dick proudly because this is his girl.

Joel grips your hips and starts rolling your pelvis into his, sinking himself into you and taking charge again. You gasp out, hands on his chest to steady yourself as you both rock into each other. 

His eyes are darkened again, movement purposeful. “I know. I know, babygirl. That's what I fuckin’ love about ya. You'd do anything I ask you, huh baby? Humping your squishy piggy just cuz I told ya. My Little cum hungry, greedy girl.”

You lean back, bouncing on his cock with little slaps of your ass clashing down. That delirious feeling of Joel—his voice, his touch, his cock—JoelJoelJoel—filling your every senses once again, mugging your brain as you ride him to your hearts content. “I’m Daddy’s c-cum hungry greedy—girl,” you moan, brain so turned to mush so quickly that he can’t help but smile.

 “‘At’s right. There’s my girl. Didn’t even have to ask ya.” He plants a wet kiss on your knuckles, and you can feel yourself shudder at his lustful gaze. “Keep goin’. Just like that. Ride me. Fuck me.” 

He slaps your ass with encouraging stings, begging you to bounce along his shaft harder, faster. 

And in true Joel fashion, he fists the nearly forgotten vibrating plushie and shoves it at the crevice right between your pelvises.

You cry out pathetically, riding Joel faster. The pig’s full belly wedges between the two of you, jittering against your abused clit and a bit of Joel’s unsheathed cock with violent rhythm. He groans out, fucking up into your tight heat harder.

 “Say ‘Thank you Mr Piggy’,” he commands, his voice straining with the impending proximity of his own orgasm.”

"H-hjs name is —mmmmm—Mr. Oinkers.”

"Well I'm the one fuckin’ you right now and I'm telling ya it's Mr. Piggy.”

While Joel’s lips curl into a snark, so desperate to have you cum, your mouth parts so heavenly, eyes heavy with lust as you chant. “T-Thank—you MR! Mr PPIGGY! Ahh—ah huh—for—fucking me—my-mm-my clit—hungry pussy—fuck Joel!—needed Daddy’s filling—wanted to fuck you—Piggy kisses my cum hungry—pussy—so good—oh fu-FuuCCCkkKK I’m cumming—I’m cumming on my Piggy! Thank you, Daddy!” You cry with a pained smile, letting go as pleasure washes over your entire body, shaking with the same lack of control as Mr Oinkers has been showing you all night—and Joel doesn’t let up. Fucking you through your orgasm with one death grip on your hip and the other ramming the plush between your sweaty bodies, biting your swollen sensitive nub as he canters up into your womb.

“Yeah fuck—fuuck that’s it-there’s my girl—gonna let Daddy make you his cum dump? Huh? You want that? You do—you fuckin’ do—dirty girly—shit—Daddy’s gonna give it to ya.” 

You fall forward, your breasts smushed against his chest as he continues to rut into you. You let him use you. Let him dominate your body and own you because it feels best when he does. 

He’s gritting his teeth, the plush absolutely pancaked between you and sputtering along his pelvis, sending shockwaves down from his base to his balls. “Oh fuck—Mr Piggy—givin’ it to me too shit—shit baby! here it comes!”

 He growls when he cums, pouring buckets of cum from his tight balls and releasing inside you with each spurt. And the soft cushion of the pig between you rumbling only prolongs his orgasm, ropes after ropes filling your gut like a four course meal until he’s over sensitive and yanking the soaked cotton mess out and tossing it to vibrate helplessly in the corner of the room.

He cradles your neck close, breathing in the sweet smell of shampoo from your partially damp hair. Soft strokes along your spine comfort you as you both relax in each other’s embrace.

As you rest on top of him, you pull your head out of the nook of his shoulder, his eyes falling to yours as you two lie staring at each other.

“Why’d you get so mad at that guy at the Pot?”

Joel scowls at the memory: “He asked if you were single—said I looked too old n’ that ya needed a real man to satisfy your appetite.”

You hold your breath with him. Then you snort—like a real, genuine and uncontrollable snort. “And you didn’t laugh your ass off at him?? Oh my God, Joel! That’s fucking hilarious!”

His fingers curl around your soft hair, a half hearted smile on his adoring face.

Your eyes become serious again. “You didn’t actually believe him, did you?”

“I did. For a minute. Till we got home, and you showed me how hungry you were for me. Needed to take ya right then.”

“Proved him wrong.”

“No,” he shakes his head, sucking in a big breath. “No, just did it because I wanted ya so badly for so long. Who else is gonna do this crazy shit, fuckin’ stuffed animals like the weird little freak you are?”

Your jaw drops in astonishment, sitting up on your elbow. “The plushie fucking is YOUR idea! I have never humped any of these bitches in my life until you!”

You can feel his chest rumbling, eyes crinkled with subdued laughter. 

“You fucker,” you croak, voice cracking with a giggle. 

You both hear Joel’s tummy growl. “I’m still hungry, didn’t get to eat our Pot, remember?”

“That’s funny. I’m surprisingly full. Thanks to you,” you hum, kissing his lips. 

He accepts, making out with you unhurriedly until he’s rolling you over to your back and gliding down your body, pressing his chapped lips between the valley of your breasts, down your naval, and over your sensitive clit. Your legs spread on instinct. Joel’s eyes never leave yours as he presses his nose to your slit, inhaling the succulent scent of your mixed cream. “Gonna make my tummy happy too?”

 His tongue laps up at his cum dripping down to your crack back up to the source, making you grip his curls. “I s-still ha-haaaven’t forgiven you for —urgh Daddy—r-ripping Mr. Oinkers apart.”

“So? Made him better, didn’t I?” He continues to suck up his cum clean from your entrance. “I ripped Mrs. Oinkers apart just now too.” He buries his nose into your cunt and snorts: “Oink—oinkoinkoink!” 

You yank his hair harshly off of you and kick him to the couch for the rest of the night.

Until an hour later, you’re waddling wrapped in a big comforter and curling up against him on the thin sofa and spooning him. He wraps his arm around you with a kiss to your neck before falling asleep again.

-----

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[pigfacedbitch]

Comfort

summary : what would your boyfriend do if you had a bad day at work/school?

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s : Modern! Gwaine / Merlin / Arthur (Soldier, Poet, King😂) x Reader

warning/s : asshole bosses / professors lol

here is my masterlist!

Note : Why is life so tiring? Sometimes, I just want to lay down and sleep. Slight NSFW on Gwaine's part .

Gwaine

Gwaine is evidently high-spirited but pouts like a kicked puppy when he sees you sad.

He may be a little unfamiliar with comforting someone but he knows that having fun can revive someone's soul so as a way to comfort you, he will offer a night of distraction and pleasure (I know what you're thinking and yes, you are right 👀).

From here, it depends on what you want to do. Gwaine will enthusiastically go with the flow.

You want to stay at home and play games? He will gladly lose to monopoly, uno, scrabbles, or any board games you want to play.

Gwaine is also a reliable player two in online games and will shout with you when another player is performing poorly.

"How can you miss that shot?!"

"What my love said, you muppet!"

Want to watch a movie? A pillow fort with your favorite movies, snacks, and soda coming right up!

Warning though, if you want to go out and party, don't. As loveable as he is, Gwaine is a party animal who has little self-control. He WILL get drunk before you and you have no choice but to drag his ass back to your home.

Last possible activity? Doing the deed. Might fuck the stress and sadness out of you until all you can remember is how good he made you feel, just saying. Anyways, enjoy! 😚

Merlin

This sweet baby boy will serve you like a queen, no joke.

Merlin will immediately know you had a bad day as he welcomes you in your shared home, already wrapping his (big and strong🫢) arms around your tired body.

He won't say a word but you'll know that he offers comfort by how tight his hug is, slowly soothing your hair, and gently kissing parts of your face.

"What's wrong, love?"

And boom! Here comes the waterworks. He will let you cry and vent as he leads the two of you on the sofa, lying comfortably there until you are done.

You might even take a short nap. Merlin doesn't care if you covered him with tears, drool, or snot; as long you feel better.

He will wake you up with your favorite home-cooked meal prepared on the table then taking you to the bathroom for a relaxing bath.

There would be scented candles, bath bombs, mellow music, skin care products— the whole nine yards. And no, you don't have to move. Merlin will do everything for you unless you want otherwise.

He will give you a massage on the bed after that, saying words of encouragement and support.

If you ask him to use his magic, he will. He will show you anything you want; from the wonders of the world to the vast beauty of the cosmos.

He hates using his magical abilities on you but as you fall asleep in his arms that night, he whispers a spell that will surely give you good dreams and an even better sleep.

Arthur

Let's face it, Arthur can be... oblivious at times.

Unlike Merlin and Gwaine, it will take a little longer for him to realize you feel like shit.

The Pendragons are very wealthy, and it sometimes compensates for the other qualities they lack.

He may not be as cheerful as Gwaine or provide you a satisfactory service like Merlin, but he can give you anything you want.

You want to go to another country? The private jet is ready. You don't even have to pack a bag, Arthur will buy new clothes for you.

He will let you choose the hotel you'll be staying in and book all the activities you want to do such as tours in the wildlife, scuba diving, spa days, and many more.

You want comfort food? The best chef in Albion will be brought to your home at once, paid heavily to cook whatever food you fancy.

You want materials things, jewelries and dresses? Even stationery? You got it. Arthur doesn't care how much you spend, he's practically your sugar daddy. 😂

If you just want him by your side, he will let you hug him like a koala bear to a tree and listen to your complains.

However, watch your words or the people you mention. Because Arthur will see to it that they will be dealt with, money comes with influence after all.

"So that's why they are being overly nice to me!"

"No one messes with the love of my life."

[cloangi]

4 BIG GUYS—🦅🗣

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

Hesh

HESH

I absolutely need to grab and hug this guy and never let go. I bet he's a good big hugger and has a perfect body temperature that is absolutely HEAVEN for hugs.

Gotta bury my face into his chest fr 😔 (man boobs mwhahahaha. If he doesn't got any, there's still muscle 😼)

Kiss his face too fr 😭🙏 (I'm feeling ROMANTICAL. COME HERE BOY AND GIMME THOSE LIPS 🦅😈🔥)

Nah, Keegan, Logan, and Kick ain't spared either.

Get your asses over here, pile together and give a big ass group hug. I. CRAVE. WARMTH. (especially from my favorite men fr)

Elias and Merrick are like, literal fathers in my eyes (technically, so is Keegan since he's in his 30s or sum, but we don't talk about that cause Keegan is Keegan). So I'll arm wrestle them (I'm cooked) and eat food with them (whatever dad's do with their kids)

But like...

Why should you love Hesh?⤵️

1. It's Hesh

2. It's Hesh

3. He's silly

4. It's Hesh

Why should you love Logan?⤵️

1. It's Logan

2. He's Hesh's brother

3. It's Logan

4. He's a cutie patootie even if we don't know what he looks like

Why should you love Keegan?⤵️

1. It's Keegan

2. He's cool

3. He's majestic

4. It's Keegan

Why should you love Kick?⤵️

1. It's Kick

2. It's Kick

3. It's Kick

4. It's Kick

----------

Realistic scenario if I actually met them irl:

Ghost Team: *existing somewhere at once*

Me: *sees them*

Me: holy shit that's a lot of soldiers *scans all of them over and determines they seem safe to be around.*

Me: *thinks of an excuse to go up to them because even irl if I find someone intresting at a event or something i'll try to make an excuse to interact with them if I feel confident enough.*

Me: *goes up to them, semi-slow, to make my appearance known and have them notice me (they do).*

Me: Hi guys *waving and smiling like crazy*

Probaly Hesh: *smiles back (obviously) Oh hey, need something?

Me: You guys are soldiers, right?

Keegan: Obviously

Me: I figured. What uh, what branch?

I'm pretty sure everyone is gonna be silent for a bit since I'm not sure if the Ghost's are that well known to the public

Hesh: We're actually more of a task force, but some of us are former Marines *genstures to Keegan for the Marine part* or from the Army

Me: oh, nice

Me: I just wanted to say thanks for your service, no matter what you do

(Ngl I feel like Hesh, and Merrick are prob gonna be the ones who do the most question answering, with Keegan and the others just sometimes saying stuff).

Imagine whatever reaction they'll have to that. Maybe I'll stick around and talk some more to them, shake hands with them before I leave, who knows

[dreamersville]

FATGUM head cannons

an? i wrote this so long ago i just wanna clear my drafts out😭😭 soo sorry if its bad but you could always send me a request 💜.

- because hes my fav and i love him so much i just wanna tackle his 7 foot ass and love him for the rest of his life... ANYWAYSSSSS 

- this man is known by name (and sometimes order) by every restuarnt in a 10 mile radius of his agency. and i knwo your probably like “he a pro hero ofc they know his name” no. his given name and the first time it happen he was shocked 

- sings in the shower, off key, loud and proud, just straight butchering all and every song in his playlist. 

- his home is custom bulit to him. everything is like 2 feet taller than it would be for somebosy in averge height. somebody (me) said it reminds them of jack and the bean stalk and he doubled over laughing

- kiri and tamaki come over to watch cooking show because one he wouldnt be able to fit as comfortably at their dorms, and two because he got a big ass tv and watching on his tv is so much better, and he got snacks out the ass.  im talking pantry overflowing, with everything. tama used to the system but kiri swears he could get lost in it

- im sorry but, he can only cook stroke inducing food. which makes sense for quirk and what not but dont eat it unless you trying to put yourself in an early in a early grave. smothered everything, if its baked, best believe it was fired first. cheesy everythinggggg like omg, i still love him tho

- his favorite food shows be the baking shows, especially Cupcake Wars. he gets up-fucking-set if his favortite contestant loses or gets kicked off before the finalem hes gonna be talking about it for the rest of the week about how unfair it was and the judges didnt know what they were talking about because how could they not win. 

- relationships hcs or what not

- ahhhhhhh love language is most definitely acts of service and quality time. he livesss for when he got a second to just hold you, or be in your presence. it just so calming to him, the acts of service parts is bringing you food to try. ooo when he went on a mission outside of Esuha City he sends you a selfie with  e v e r y new food/ drink he tries on his mission. so expect a lot of of pictures and sometimes videos from him

- top tier cuddles in that giantic ass bed. and he has a weighted blanket with a big ass fan AND black out curtains ????? need i say more

- drags you down into his baking show addiction, but yall always tend to go for the rivals. so yall make bets on who’s gonna last longer. right now you’re winning 7 - 6 

- but you watch Extreme Cake Makers and write down recpies you wanna try and little things the contestant did so you could test it out. so you have notes deicted to ths and you sometimes go back and rewatch episodes to catch small stuff that you missed. he lovess when you get like this all nerdy and focused, it soo cute ugh. 

- likes to take you through the city at night because its look pretty at night when its lit up. you take a lot of pictures of bridges and in front of different signs and stuff

- omg, if you just so happen to walk past the shower whiles he in there singing his heart out, he’s gonna stop singing and say “take it away babe”. 

- a sucker for your southern nicknames. all the sugar, sweetness, bubs/bubba, honey. say anyyy of these and this man is at your feetready to do anything and everything just to hear you call him that again

- baby be feening for thanksgiving and christmas to come around. first time he was on a long mission, was gone for a week and came back on thanksgiving eve to see that you were cooking up a feast, he was so happy he cried.

ik the ending seems kind meh .. but then again this been sitting in my drafts

[the-inkwell-variable]

Hi :)

🍉~ What are your ocs biggest pet peeves?

Hi there! I hope you're having an awesome day :D

From this ask game!

KIA - - - One of my biggest pet peeves is people who act all tough and high-and-mighty when you can tell by looking at them that they're nothing. Like...I'm from Crime Alley, homeskillet. I know kids that could kick your ass. Calm the attitude a little.

ASHLEE - - - Oh, anyone who acts like they're entitled to something or a service. Really hate when people come up to my desk and demand to be seen immediately, especially if they're two hours early for their appointment. If you ask nicely if there's been a cancellation or something, I'm more likely to help you than if you walk up and demand it. You're so lucky that I'm not brave enough to slap you.

KIRA - - - Oh, I know this one! Please don't rush me when I'm working. Or doing stuff. Magic, especially, takes time. If I rush, bad things happen. Like demons! Do you want demons? Because this is how you get demons! I would know!

TIATHA - - - Stop acting like you do not need my assistance. Your arm is attached by a thread. Your heart is exposed. You used one of the angel fingers to return to life twice. Stop acting so self-important and let me help you.

XAENTE - - - STOP RUNNING FROM ME, YOU DAMN MAGE! I WILL catch you. It's my JOB and my PASSION. STOP RUNNING AND ACCEPT YOUR FATE. Also when people chew loudly next to me. Stop chewing your food. I'd prefer you choke on it, actually.

NEIA - - - If I'm talking, shut up. Be quiet. I have important things to say too, and when you talk over me, it makes me feel like you don't value me or what I have to say. Conrad taught me that. Let me speak. Argue if you wish, I do not mind a discussion or a disagreement, but at least let me get my words out first.

AMARA - - - Personal space is a thing that's very important to me. I know I'm really clingy sometimes, but that's to people I trust. If I don't know you, please social distance from me. If I can feel your breath on my face, you're entirely too close and I might hex you out of self-defense.

ASTARIA - - - Double-handed phrasing. For example, saying 'no offense' after saying something incredibly offensive. You clearly meant offense. If you're going to say something, own it entirely. Don't speak otherwise.

[sapphic-luthor]

Answering your in tag question last week: it is indeed hotter than ass out here. Any fun summer recipes? I’m discovering that my meager little cookbook really only has nice hearty recipes that while tasty make cooking even more of a chore than I find it to be when it’s so hot out here. Hope you’re at least staying cool! -SMA

Oh man I hope you’re staying cool, I recommend a great many ice creams above all. But secondary to that, I do have some food ideas that I’ve been making a lot of recently that I’ll stick below the read more here :-)

I love a big huge enormous salad in the summer (and all year round tbh) and I think the best salads are about 50/50 made up of base greens vs. fun stuff. My personal faves are to start with a romaine or romaine/iceberg base and then add:

italian seasoned chicken breast

cherry tomatoes

little mozzarella balls

cooked orzo

sun dried tomatoes

croutons or crispy onions (ideally both)

thinly sliced red onion

dressing (personal fav is a vinaigrette made of lemon juice, balsamic, olive oil, salt & pepper, oregano, and chili flakes)

OR

soy sauce/ginger/white pepper marinated chicken

red cabbage

thinly sliced carrots

cucumber

red bell pepper

sesame seeds

scallions

fresh coriander

wonton strips (which you can airfry out of wonton wrappers in like 3 seconds)

dressing (best is a combo of sesame oil, garlic, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, honey, and ginger)

Now if you’re not mad for salads, also nice in the summer is

A crumbled sausage + broccoli pasta (i like orecchiette); it doesn’t need to have a real sauce per sé, you can just season however you like and then throw a bit of pasta water, and parmesan in at the end and it’s lovely

Caprese with nice fresh mozzarella (best gotten from the cheese counter if possible). If you ever see san marzano tomatoes buy them immediately and make them into caprese

Veg-based sandwiches, I have a special love for a vegan one that’s got homemade cucumber sriracha hummus, tomatoes and baby spinach. It doesnt sound like much but if you get the hummus right it’s very cool + has a little kick and it’s lovely with nice bread!

Homemade greek gyros— I use this recipe every time and the marinade is actually life changing. Like sometimes I lie in bed and dream about this chicken and I am not even kidding

A pork + pineapple rice bowl, which basically consists of rice topped with; minced pork cooked with soy sauce and sesame oil, long strips of carrot and courgette cooked in a pan with salt + pepper til soft, pickled shallot or red onion (just left in a water/vinegar/sugar bath for 30min or so), and pieces of pineapple right out of the tin. There’s also a light soy/rice wine vinegar/honey sauce that can be thrown over the top— i think the friend i learned the recipe from got it from one of those meal delivery services so it’s likely online (or i can track it down from her for you if you’re interested!)

Hopefully some of those are of some interest to you!! I’ll live vicariously through you and your heat but I hope you stay comfortable and safe friend

[mlovesstories]

Let’s Talk

Warnings: not eating, depression, low self-esteem

Words: None

Summary: Dean fights to get his sister back.  Her brain is holding her hostage. 

 I just quit a job that wasn’t great but wasn’t terrible either.  It was time to move on, however.  Sam and Dean were proud of me; it was a step up from where I had been.  Anyway- my previous job was different from the one I’m currently in and dreading unbelievably.  I’m alone a lot of the time now because I work from home sometimes.  It’s been an adjustment.  I think they saw me withdrawing.  I felt the sadness of being by myself and they did too. Being big brothers, they checked on me a lot more.  

“Please, I’ve got work to do, and I need to check in with my supervisor.  Can you please leave?” I begged but not in a whiny way.

“Fine.  Eat your lunch though.  It better be in your stomach and not on the plate when I come back to get it.  When you’re finished, just put it outside your door.” 

“This isn’t room service, Dean.  I can take care of my own dishes.  I’m twenty-two.  I’m a big girl.”

“Just eat, okay?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, yeah,” I rolled my eyes at him.  

“You may be an adult, but I can still kick your ass.” Dean narrowed his gaze at me.  I looked away.  “Do good.  I’ll check in with you later.” 

“Okay,” I sighed as he closed the door.  Three hours later, I stood from my desk and walked out to the living room with my plate.  Sam and Dean were watching TV.  “Hey.” I continued toward the sink and washed my dish.  

“Did you eat?” 

I took a deep breath. 

“Stop bugging her,” I heard Sam whisper.  I closed my eyes for a moment.  

“I’m done with my work for the day.” I dried my plate and put it away.  

“I know you heard me.” Dean paused the movie playing and glared at me. 

“What, Dean?” I huffed. 

“Did you eat all of your food?” 

I had enough of his questions. I was going through a lot without him bugging the crap out of me, and I was done with it. I walked up behind him and slapped the back of his head.  

“Ass!” He hopped up from the couch. “What was that for?” 

“For-” I stopped.  I realized in that moment I wasn’t really sure why I had done it. “For bugging me! I’m not okay, and you just keep shoving it in my face.” Growling, I squared myself, ready for a verbal fight.  Trying to show confidence, I lifted my chin to stare at him.  His tight jaw relaxed. My fighting spirit faltered a little at the sudden soften on his face. 

“I told you,” Sam gritted his teeth, aiming his comment at Dean.  “You aren’t helping.”

“At least I’m talking to her about it! At least we are getting somewhere!” 

You need to know something about me.  I’m not like Sam or Dean.  I’m not tough.  If one of them raises their voice at me, I crumble.  Sam’s quieter and more reserved than Dean, but Dean is older, so he is loud and always in charge.  Because of this, I lost it, but I didn’t know what to do.  

“I- I-” I closed my mouth.  

“You what? You’ve been hiding for days.  You can’t do that.” Dean got close to me, but I could tell Sam was anxious.  He stood between me and Dean.  He always did when Dean came down hard on me.  

“Dean, relax. Step back.” 

“You’re scaring me, Dean.” I barely got it out before he relaxed his face a tad more and took a step back just once. 

“Well, you’re scaring me, so I guess we’re even then.” Dean turned around and sat on the couch again. 

“I don’t mean to,” I whispered and unconsciously stood behind Sam for protection from my upset brother. 

“Just- come sit down, and let’s talk.”

@metalfangirl​ @squirrelnotsam

Forevers: 

@katymacsupernatural  @unicornblood4ever  

@fangirl-moment-x  @empirialwolf @winchesters-favorite-girl

@super100012  @percywinchester27  @waywardsuns  @supernatural-jackles  

@mcallmestiles @sdavid09  @kingandrear  @bellero @skylarraker

@seality​​​​​ @jaycc7983​​​ @luci-in-trenchcoats​​​

@cherryblossomflowers​​ @because-you-never-know-when​

@sleepylunarwolf​ @choosemyname​

@internationalmusicteacher​ @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​

@encounterthepast​  @torn-and-frayed​

@giggles1026​ @xiumin-girl99​

@mangueweaschester​

@idksupernatural​  @silverstripe101a​

@thevelvetseries​ @samsgirl93​   @supernatural3002​ *

* @breereadsthings​ *

@vicmc624​ @hookedinto-fictionalworlds​   @beatifuldisaster018​

@miraclesoflove​ @myopiamystical​ 

@waywardnewcomer​  

@akshi8278​  

[the-masked-ram]

Blurred Lines- Chapter Three

CW: NSFW, College AU, Roommate AU, Dom/Sub Undertones, Gambling, Friends with Benefits, Enemies to friends, Hate sex, Impact play, Mild Breath play, Drugs, Alcohol, afab! reader

See more content like this with months of early access, all original content, and artwork on my patreon

---

Chapter Three: The Sandwich is a Lie

Classes had been kicking your ass if you were honest. As someone who majored in environmental studies, who eventually wanted to help work to change the world for the better, your classes were many and exhausting. Add your work to that, and now taking care of Touya’s housework and food, and you were running on very little sleep.

The thing was, what you thought would be easy when it came to keeping the flat clean, was just another front Touya put on. If he had been left to his own devices, the apartment would never had been that clean to begin with. He had apparently been paying for a maid service.

No, the usual amount of filth, dirty laundry, junk lying around, and just general grossness, was astronomical. It’s like he didn’t know how to pick up after himself or didn’t care to. More likely the second. The meal planning at least was normal and stuck right to the rules and expectations.

However, because of your lack of sleep, you’d forgotten about the whole confusion and worry of who Touya really was, not just his name since you were positive you’d heard it before, but also why he was so secretive. You were running yourself ragged, and in the process sleeping far deeper and longer than you usually did when you actually managed to catch a few hours. Your alarm was not working as well anymore and often you either missed it or swiped it to turn off instead of snooze.

Thankfully the day you truly overslept, so much so that minutes turned into hours, was a day you didn’t have class- thank you flu season- and didn’t have work. So, you didn’t wake from paranoia plaguing your dreams, no… instead you were awoken by your incredibly rude, asshole of a roommate banging open your door and sitting on you.

Touya expected you to follow the rules, but he tended to take liberties with them a lot of the time. It’s a wonder how he hadn’t walked in on you naked yet.

You flailed awake, only to realize that your squirming body was pinned down by an annoyingly heavy weight, so you rolled, and he fell up against the wall on the other side of your body.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing, Touya?” you snarled, voice still gravelly with sleep but clearly conveying your irritation.

“Me? I was just worried about my wonderful roommate, obviously. I mean usually she’s up at the crack of dawn and today she’s almost slept in ‘til noon,” his blue eyes glittered mirthfully.

You rubbed a hand across your eyes as you checked you phone, he was right it was almost twelve. Damn, you’d wasted so much time. But you body wasn’t aching like before. You were surprised he hadn’t come in earlier.

“Did you just wake up too? And realize there wasn’t any coffee or something?” you groaned as you sat up, the shirt that you’d worn to bed twisting and exposing your cleavage.

“Naw, I’ve been up for hours now,” he said, eyes narrowing and sliding across your skin so obviously that you couldn’t ignore it even in your sleepy state.

“Touya… Can you go wait for me outside my bedroom?” you asked patiently.

He hummed, but moved off the bed, probably in the most inconvenient way. He rolled over you, taking care to brush about every inch of his body over yours that he could without it seeming too obvious. Though honestly, he didn’t succeed in staying incognito. Sometimes he was such a jerk, he had to know how he affected you. You felt your heart ramp up eagerly, and you sighed, flopping back against the pillow until you heard the door click shut.

“Asshole,” you groaned as you covered you face with your arm.

Your life with Touya had become very strange. He now openly flirted with you, not just eye fucking you. It was becoming harder and harder to keep your cool around him as he continued to up the ante. You couldn’t deny that, though you had very little time to yourself, you had far more money than you’d had in ages, and you were actually saving a small amount every week. Also, you were eating actual food.

You definitely felt grateful he’d let you sleep in. It would be rather normal for your roommate to wake you up when he’d awoken and then you’d be even more sleep deprived. You wondered if he’d noticed how exhausted you’d been lately. Snorting in amusement you stood and slipped on a pair of sleep shorts. Even if he did, Touya wouldn’t let you sleep if he wanted you awake, it wasn’t his style.

You yawned, rubbing a knuckle across your eyes as you stumbled from your room. You half expected Touya to be waiting for you, maybe waiting to scare the shit out you. But he wasn’t, so you wandered into the bathroom to do your daily care routine and make yourself look mildly presentable for the day.

Touya was sprawled out on the couch texting aggressively on his phone. He glanced up when you walked in, and once again you could feel the prickling heat of his teal eyes wander over your legs. You suppressed a shiver, refusing to let him have the satisfaction of affecting you.

“Ah, I’m sorry I wasn’t up to make you a breakfast or lunch or anything,” you murmured sheepishly.

“There’s food leftover if ya want it?” he slurred lazily, rolling over to prop his chin on the arm of the sofa.

“Wha-?” you said and when you stepped into the kitchen you saw not just food left over but a plate carefully wrapped that held a simple meal.

It wasn’t anything special, just a sandwich with some fruit on the side. But it didn’t stop the warmth from unfurling in your chest, it didn’t stop you from biting your lip and breathing deeply to stop the sudden rush of overwhelming tears. You were exhausted, emotions threatening to break the dam, and here Touya was being… considerate? It wasn’t fair.

“Thank you,” you breathed, feeling like someone had punched you in the gut.

“It’s just a fuckin’ sandwich,” he mumbled, and you didn’t look over because you could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“I know,” you whispered.

It was just a sandwich, but that single act of kindness meant he had noticed, and that he was a decent enough of a human being to want to ease your burden for a moment. To make that soothing rush of serotonin take over so that the rest of the week would go easier.

You grinned as you sat down and revered the sandwich as if it were a steak. While you slowly went about enjoying your first meal of the day, Touya joined you at the kitchen island. He stared at you for several minutes and for those several minutes you were able to ignore him, until he cleared his throat and you sighed.

“Yes, Touya?” you asked around the mouthful of bread and fillings.

“I have a party this weekend,” he responded.

Your chewing slowed as you sifted through your fogged memories, you knew there was something specific you should remember about this word. Party… There was something you didn’t like that was part of your--.

“You mean on the day I have off?” your eyes narrowed, subtle irritation tightening your muscles.

“Yeah, think so,” he murmured as if he didn’t have your schedule written out on his phone.

“So, what… was this sandwich some form of apology? Or some way to get me to comply with your stupid rule for the parties?” you aggressively took another bite.

“If you wanna see it that way, sure,” Touya shrugged, already turning back to his phone with narrowed eyes.

He was typing away on the screen before you even had a chance to snap back at him, instead choosing to finish off the food that had brought you such joy earlier. Even now though, you couldn’t deny the simple meal had tasted far better than it should have. Maybe you had been running yourself thinner than even you were aware.

Spending the night in your room, finishing up homework, watching a show, or reading a book might not be so bad. Perhaps Touya was giving you a blessing in disguise. Forcing your overworked mind and body to relax. Yet, you still felt a petty anger directed toward your roommate as you went back to your room to get dressed.

 

---

It was during coffee that day, with you good friends Mina and Tsuyu, gossiping and laughing away, that you learned once again the Todoroki name. Where you learned just who you were staying with. Suddenly, everything seemed to flip on its head, and you felt your hands clench on the cardboard cup you held, and it crushed under your fingers. What had you gotten yourself into?

-Taglist-

@arvandus

[madness-of-void]

Okay! Soooo...

I went to the Undertale Café.

Twice.

Yes, you read that right. Twice.

Was it worth it? Well, that's what under the cut is for.

prepareyourbutts

First Round Review:

So I went about a week after the anniversary, thinking that it would've calmed down just a little. If the line wrapping around the building was any indication how much it did not calm down...dunno what is.

I went with my sister and her bf (as a belated bday present to me), and none of us had eaten at that time, so we decided to leave and come back. Which was both an okay decision and possibly kind of stupid. The line was shorter when we got back, but it was still long.

In fact...we waited in line for 4 hours.

While in line, there was some awesome, albeit faded, chalk drawings everywhere! picsincoming

It's so cool to see the talent in this fandom, and how strong it is still 7 years later. I mean, had no doubt if the battle for tumblr sexyman was anything to go by, but it's still nice to see!

Anywho...

The 3 of us are introverts, so you can imagine the amount of social battery depletion we had waiting in that line for that long. my lils sis & her bf didn't have to but they did & they are insane for doing that but i'm thankful too Especially with some of the conversations going on around us.

Sis' bf did ask a lot of questions about the game, wanting to understand the reason why I wanted to go to this little collab. So that was fun. Got to gush about one of my favorite games. While dead on my feet. And it was actually kind of funny seeing him get excited about us finally getting to the door 4 hours later.

So how was the inside? Was it amazing? Spectacular? Very Undertale?

Ehhhhhh....

No.

If you waited 4 hours, or sometimes even longer, for nothing but the drinks, food, merch, and cardboard cutouts of some of the characters whilst expecting something really cool...you're likely gonna be disappointed.

The place does look really cool on the inside! I mean, check out this kick ass stained glass!

It's really nice in there, and honestly, I kinda want to go back when it isn't doing the collab to see how it is normally! They had so many references to other video games and other fantasy franchises! It's such a cool and cute little place!

But, as an Undertale collab, it's kind of...meh. So many people definitely would not think this was worth a long wait, probably getting their hopes up that it would be something absolutely spectacular.

Now I myself wasn't way too upset. Been in fandom for a long time, and learned long ago to never get my hopes up. But I won't lie, I was expecting a little more with the decorations and the cutouts is my biggest gripe. atleastwithreview1

But hey! They had a game going on! Seems to be different every time from other posts I've seen. When we were there, we had Deltarune Chapter 2!

Now...onto the food and drinks.

There was no food.

They ran out.

Not a huge surprise, really. It's definitely a small café. They were 150% not prepared for the full force of the Undertale fandom. If I was in the shoes of the workers, I would be so overwhelmed. The fact that they are handling it as well as they can and are all so sweet (some even visibly excited about all this or wearing merch) is absolutely amazing. They deserve raises for dealing with the chaos.

As for the drinks? Well, they ran out of the Sans Soda. Shocker there. Everyone wants to try the tumblr sexyman's drink! forthememesimsure Apparently, it's the best drink! So, sadly, I didn't get to have it. But I did get to try the other drink I wanted! The Sea Tea!

ignorethenamewecouldntdomultiplenamesforthetrioanditsnotmine

The presentation is lacking, considering how it is advertised, and that's gonna piss some people off. As a former customer service worker, I definitely didn't care. And it doesn't come with the Undyne figure. In fact, none of the drinks come with the figures that they're pictured with. So if that's something you were looking forward to, you're a tad bit out of luck.

As for the taste, I personally liked it. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it was pretty good. My sis also got the Sea Tea, and she had the same opinion.

The sister's bf, on the other hand, got the Heats Flamesman, and he did not like it. Not really sure why. He didn't elaborate. My sis took a sip and said she liked it. It could easily just be it was more tea than any of the other flavors listed to his liking, or different taste buds. Either way, that's apparently not an unpopular opinion from other posts I've seen.

All-in-all, the experience was...so-so. But it definitely was a bit skewed due to the fact that by the time we got in there we were so exhausted that everything was...blah.

Which is why I went again.

Round Two Review:

This time, I went earlier! infactamwritingthisafterjustcominghome

Maybe a tad bit too early. There was barely anyone in line. Compared to when I went the first time, it was insane to see the difference! Probably because it was a weekday instead of a weekend.

Aaaaaaand new chalk drawings dropped!

This time in line, it was more quiet. But you could still tell people were excited to be here. Hell, there were more people dressed up! I saw an Asgore, a Frisk, and a Sans!

The wait was an hour this time, but that's only because I arrived, well, an hour before opening. Then after opening it was another 13 minutes to get in, just because they wanted to space out the groups going in and not crowd the door/walk areas. But once inside, I was able to enjoy the décor a little more than last time, since I wasn't exhausted as hell.

Again, I would love to come here when it isn't doing the collab. It looks so cool!

And, once again, the TV had a game going on! This time it was Deltarune Chapter 1! (another table with a solo TV had Omori on)

They actually had food this time, too! Not a whole lot, but hey! I could try food! Which I did! I got the Spider Donuts!

I've heard mixed reviews on the donuts. But I...actually liked them. I was pleasantly surprised by them! You get 3 little donuts in this little container. They definitely look like someone had to do the frosting and the webbing by hand, which I can admire. I really couldn't describe the taste exactly, just that when I bit into the first one I loved it. Might've had a little fruit flavoring? Again, not sure. But I found them to be pretty good!

The best part, however...

I GOT THE SANS SODA!

Was it as good as some people said it was?

YES.

It should not be.

It had no right to be.

But it was good.

I actually liked it a little better than the Sea Tea! It didn't really taste like cotton candy to me per se...but it was a little tart and that shit's right up my alley.

So, yes. The Sans Soda was delicious. I got the meme drink. Halleluiah!

Also got to go get merch this time! It was for pick up or delivery only, which is fine. They probably couldn't have much of it on the shelves. Or they had it on the anniversary date and ran out. Who knows.

This time, I also was able to sneak in a little self-indulgent selfie with the skelebros this time around, not feeling rushed to get in and out.

Final thoughts overall?

Personally, I enjoyed it. It definitely won't be andisnt everyone's cup of tea. My biggest gripe is still just having cut outs of the characters, but I don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe this was all this small café could do. And it is a small café. Like I said earlier in this long ass post, they were not ready for the Undertale Fandom. The workers did the best they could, and they honestly did amazing all things considered. Some won't see it that way and that's fine. And some people had a terrible time. My first time honestly wasn't that great. My second time was fun! It all depends on the person and how things roll out.

Would I love to see this happen again on a much bigger scale and better preparations? Absolutely. Will it happen? Probably not. Who knows what will happen for the 8 year anniversary! Maybe something bigger! Maybe something smaller.

Whatever it is, I'll be excited regardless.

Because it's Undertale.

And it's amazing how large this indie game is all these years later.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#2)

No new floors to investigate this time. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do now. There’s still that student file cabinet, I guess? Or maybe I should check on the people I still haven’t seen. Or Aidan. He did look a little worse for wear, now that I’m thinking about it.

The options swirl in my head, but I can’t quite seem to reach out and grip one to commit to.

“......”

Maybe I’ll just rest for now.

...

After some time spent half-reading, half-dozing, I’m broken from my tired stupor by a knock on the door. 

“You in here?”

“...”

Okay, mostly broken from it. Not enough to register whose voice that is, but enough to get up and go check. After a minute of trying to tug the door open, I realize it’s still locked.

Really that kind of day, huh?

But at least it saves me from hesitating once I’m physically able to open it. I’m met with a clash of loud colors that are pretty easy to identify.

“Ah, Kanagi.”

“Yo. You had lunch yet?”

I shake my head, even if it takes me a minute to parse the question. When did lunchtime get here?

“You?”

“I’m, like, goin’ around first.”

“Already gotta bring Iggy his, so. Might as well see where else my, like, delivery service or whatever’s going today.”

“I’m good to get something myself, I think. You need any help?”

She heaves a loud sigh. 

“Probably??"

“Like, at this point, I’m mostly just peeling fruit and trying not to set spaghetti on fire.”

“...Yeah, I can help.”

“Sweet.”

The walk to the cafeteria is a blur, like most everything else right now. I sure hope no one’s been confiding anything important to me. Or at least nothing they wanted me to remember.

Kanagi kicks the kitchen door open for the both of us and grabs herself a yogurt drink.

“You wanna do the fruit or the s’getti?”

“Are those our only options?”

She shrugs. “ ‘s all I got, but if you got better ideas, go for it, dude.”

I wander around the little island.

“Plenty of cookbooks if we need ideas.”

“Not sure I’m up for that much effort. Maybe some hand rolls or something?”

“Whyyyy not.” 

“I can totally get the rice stuff going, but, like, you might wanna do the actual stuff yourself if you don’t want it crunchy.”

“Raw crunchy or burnt crunchy?”

“...Yes.”

“...”

“ ‘Less you like it that way! Seems like most peeps totally don’t, though.”

“Are you ‘most peeps’?”

“No way, dude.”

True on so many levels.

“And they put you in charge of cooking.”

“Like, sometimes? Depends on who feels like trash and who doesn’t. That super keeps swapping around.”

“Always gotta at least take Iggy his, though.”

“Yeah, guess he’s not in any shape to be cooking, huh.”

Between that and Yuki... being gone...

...

“Wait. Am... Am I the only one here who can cook?”

“Prolly.”

“...................” This is the most bizarre twist of fate I’ve suffered through yet.

“Okay, well. Let’s find some stuff to chop up.”

She shoots me a finger gun. “That, I can totally do.”

We rummage through the fridge and freezer for fish and vegetables. Maybe some cream cheese. I don’t know.

I’m still not qualified for this job, but we’ve survived this far. As long as I don’t cook up some very severe food poisoning, everything should be fine.

And just as I think that, Kanagi starts flinging knives around to get chopping. I can only make out one healing cut on her hand at the moment, so that’s... probably also fine. 

Maybe she should’ve asked Tsunyasha for help, if that’s how we’re playing this. 

Kanagi attempts to hum about three notes before quitting. She looks at me over her shoulder as I start pouring rice.

“Yo, you wanna play a couple sets once this's done?”

“Of volleyball? Not really feeling quick enough on my feet today.”

Or in my head. The possibility of me zoning out as a ball approaches my face at Mach 5, combined with the fact I don’t stand any kind of chance against her competitively, does not incline me to agree to this.

“ ‘Kay.”

She may or may not seem a little more upset than I’d expect. Too much of my focus is just on not chopping, burning, or otherwise ripping any fingers off. 

I succeed, and we assemble some weird form of sushi-and-fruit bentos for everyone. Not very artistic, but that isn’t my M.O. with food.

Not gonna think about whose it is. Was. Not now.

I focus on Kanagi stacking up the boxes instead.

“Aaaand delivery hours. Woo-hoo.”

“You seem excited.”

“Yyyyeah, not really.”

Too excited to pick up on sarcasm.

Either way, I help with the deliveries. I’m not allowed to enter Mahavir’s room, apparently—something about Aidan, and me in particular, and an extra degree of distance transmission-wise—but there’s no trouble with the rest. Bentos on proverbial doorsteps, no knives or pieces of chalk thrown. I think Kanagi appreciates the help. Doesn’t seem like she’s in an appreciative kind of mood.

What does it say about the rest of us when even Kanagi seems a little dull?

Nothing. We all just need some rest.

It doesn’t have to be anything worse than that.

[BACK] [NEXT]

[patheticwretch]

i am having a bad time. i had a months long episode and got back up to my hw. picking up the pieces after not existing for so long is so hard but i was doing so well in eating less and being vaguely stable this week but...

roomie got back from hanging with someone who... hurt me, and i had some of the cake they brought back on autopilot before everything hit me like a tidal wave. i then felt extremely sick and distraught and proceeded to be caught in the stream of the past and now i can't talk to my roomie for the night but i don't want them to know or worry because i just need to deal with it. it's hard.

anyway, i need to get back on not eating as much but everyone knows about my ed and my excuses don't go over well so i really need to start timing my meals right so roomie sees me eat everyday and take advantage when they're at work. i need to do stretches and exercises everyday, which means i need to get my floor cleaned up again and actually commit.

i also really, really need to find a way to make money. i keep considering going back to food service and then realize something as small as taking a walk to the corner store sometimes triggers so much fatigue i all but pass out upon returning- not even related to ed. so, haha. i cannot handle phones enough for that sort of job, so there are really few choices... there are skin picking scars all over from this episode and dysphoria is kicking my ass with this weight gain so i can't even use body for money. i am in the negatives. i keep smoking all their 🚬 and i feel so so bad but i have a horrible problem lmao.

i am trying very hard not to go back to cutting. i cannot give in. i must get all these scars taken care of so i can stop ghosting people who are willing to pay me. uggghhhhh

[treehouse-anon]

Another RP, this time fantasy. Lazy, but it's something.

The Bucking Boar tavern was the last stop at the edge of the dark forest. Sylvania had been traveling to collect magical artifacts for years, and her latest squire was holding up well. He was a puny human boy named Robert, and comically obedient. Whether her needed to carry all her bags across a swamp for 10 miles or massage her bum all night, he rarely complained. Sometimes, he would even… pleasure her, subserviently, but that was a shameful secret for an elf of her status, as functional and taboo as training a dog to lick her. Today, she had been on the horse all day, and she had let Robert ride behind her, slamming into him with her giant bum at every step. She was sore, and too tired to recruit, but they needed muscle for the dark forest ahead. While Robert tied up the horse, she went to her room, yawning and stretching. "Human boy, you go ahead and find the strongest warrior in the tavern, whatever it costs. And then meet me in my room with dinner. I need another massage…"

“Yes Sylvania! Right away” He replied as he finished tying the horse to the post. Robert watched Sylvania walk up to her quarters, that big booty he kept bumping into all day jiggling as she walked away. He looked to the tavern, hearing some hollering and a bottle crashing followed by more yells and laughs. The first thing he did was order some food for Syl then turned around to study the tavern. Folks drank and joked but one person seemed to stand out in the crowd. She was tall and imposing with tremendously wide hips who was destroying each man who attempted to arm wrestle with her! He realized that this is certainly who Sylvania would want and she wouldn’t accept any less. After watching her destroy another strong man in a competition, Robert approached. “Excuse me M’Lady” he started politely, drawing some snickers from others in the tavern. “I humbly request that you lend your services to the good lady Sylvania. We will pay you handsomely in return” He explained, feeling his face blush as many hardened men and women were looking at him!

The huge barbarian, with long braided red hair, was only wearing an armor bikini and a short plaid skirt. She yawned, and effortlessly slammed down the main trying to arm wrestle her. Then, she chugged an entire mug of ale in one gulp and turned to the pipsqueak, belching loudly in his face and blowing back his hair with the beefy smell of ale and roast meat. "UUURRPPPPPPPP~ Wh… what was that, twerp? Y-you wanted to fight huh? Think you can take me? You got uh- got a date with-kissing my fat ass you little runt…" She slurred, clearly drunk, got up and lifted Robert by his shirt with the crowd laughing.

Robert’s speech was cut short as she belched right in his face! The smell of beer invaded his nose as she began slurring her words, clearly drunk and not understanding him! “Wait no…” he started, trying to take a step back as she rose from her chair, towering over the squire! “I wasn’t saying I’ll fight you!” He said, his voice becoming more frantic as he was picked up by the collar of his shirt! His legs kicked a bit as he struggled to find the ground. “Please you’re not hearing me! We’ll pay you good!”

"Pay me, huh? You looking for some kind of URPP cheap whore? How much are you offering, to URP uh…" Laughing, she tossed him to the ground and jumped up, slamming her giant butt onto his chest, leaning back so her glistening cheeks were looming right over his face. It wasn't the first time he'd been pinned under a big ass, but this one was more dense and muscular, and covered in musky sweat. "How much coin you got? I have a high price for HIC a nice romantic kiss, with my sweaty ass cheeks HAHA! Tell me y-your budget and then I'll decide how long you can lick em." Her skirt barely covered her meaty rear, and neither did her loincloth cover her hairy red bush.

“No not like that either… you’re not understanding-!” Robert said as he was pushed over, knocking over a chair as he landed on his back! He barely had a moment to react before she jumped onto his chest, knocking the wind out of him! He could hear people murmuring and laughing as they watched the drunk barbarian have her fun. He looked up at that glistening rear as he wheezed, greedily sucking in as much air as he could with her sitting high up on his chest! “H-here…” He said, his voice quiet as he fumbled with the bag of coins on his waist! It was tough to get it off since he couldn’t see past the massive ass cheeks taking up his vision. He could feel the warmth coming off her body as he finally got the coins loose, raising them up to her as best he could!

Sonja got quiet and leaned forward to coin the coins, muttering. She was so focused that she didn't realize she had scooted back and smothered Robert's face in between her cheeks, making it impossible to breathe anything but sweat odors. "Wow, you got a lot of hic money. Usually they just hired me for urpppp my axe, but sure, if some little pervert wants to keep me around a few weeks and kiss my butt all day, I won't say no to the money. Let's shake on it. And to seal the deal~" She grabbed his hand tightly, and then leaned to one side and let out an explosive fart directly into his face, smelling exactly like the cured meat and fermented cabbage they sold at this tavern. The whole crowd laughed and went back to their own business.

Robert’s hands reached up, grabbing on the barbarian’s sweaty ass cheeks! As she counted the coins, she didn’t realize that Robert’s face slipped beneath her rear! His head was hidden by her skirt as his face was pressed tightly against her uncleanly knickers! Robert groaned as he couldn’t get her to budge off him! The smell of her musk overwhelmed his senses, even as he was smothered beneath her! Once it seemed she had accepted his offer she peeled a bit of her ass off his face and he gasped deeply, right as she farted on him! He immediately went into a fit of coughing and gagging as he rolled on the floor, feeling humiliated! “Okay….” he said, “Can you get off me now? I need to return to my lady’s chambers and we have a busy day tomorrow!” He said, hoping she would get off him fully!

She snorted, laughed, and reached back to grab his head and motorboat him between her cheeks one last time, leaving his hair messed up and his face covered in even more butt sweat. Then, she finally got up and stumbled back to another mug of ale, burping and scratching her butt. "See you tomorrow, twerp… tell your boss to hire me herself next time and not send some pervy little squire!" Meanwhile, in her room, Sylvania was reading her spellbook and laying on her stomach, with her large bottom sticking up. She sipped a glass of wine and spoke without turning to the door, "Did you get the food? I'm starving…"

Robert slowly got to his feet, his face flushed hot with embarrassment as he could feel people watching him as he tried to wipe off her ass sweat from his face! Despite getting most of the sweat off, he was going to have trouble removing the stink! He didn’t have time however as the food for Sylvania came out and he wanted to deliver it to her hot! He quickly arrived at her room, seeing her laying in bed, reading with a glass of wine! “Yes I did. I also found us a barbarian for the voyage” He said, setting the plate down on her bed and quickly stepping back, hoping she didn’t notice the smell of ass lingering on him!

"Mhm," she nodded coldly, still reading her book. She took the plate of hearty tavern food and started cutting it into delicate bites, then gestured with a pat on her butt. He knew what this meant - she needed another massage. Sylvania was heavyset for an elf, and embarrassed about it sometimes. Her extra cushioning made her sore on long journeys, so it was important to have a squire who could do deep tissue massage.

Without responding, Robert knew what he was supposed to do. He hopped up on the bed and got on his knees right below Sylvania’s ass! As he looked at her peachy butt, he couldn’t help but think of being smothered in the tavern, just moments ago! The thought made him hesitate a moment but he reached forward and began massaging her butt, kneading and pushing into the soft flesh. He squeezed her cheeks, pushing them together and rubbing all over as he looked to her face to see if she was content.

With his face right up close to the huge soft mounds, he could smell her natural flowery fragrance. Then, something happened he was never expecting. A gentle squeak, and he felt a blast of warm air that smelled like spicy food with hints of cinnamon. Sylvania giggled. "I used a scrying spell to watch you in the tavern… it seems like this is a human custom to show dominance over males? And I detected an elevated heartbeat. Do you appreciate it? Or are you disappointed it's not as powerful as that human woman's? You should have told me sooner that this is how your species forms bonds of servitude."

Robert was taken aback as the booty he was massaging suddenly erupted a little bit! The warm air hit his face as he scrunched his nose a bit at the smell! “Oh you saw that…” He said, face growing red once more from embarrassment as his heart picked up! “I dont think its a normal thing… She was awfully intoxicated, perhaps one to many ales”

Sylvania's cheeks clenched and flexed, and he could hear her grunt, but then she sighed. "That's all I have for now, but I'll try to get better at it. I can sense an awestruck feeling in you, like you're amazed at seeing something from a being so high and mighty, or, rather smelling. Hehe. That could be useful, to make you more loyal to me and protective. After all, not many human boys have gotten a present like that from an elf. From now on, you might be sharing a sleeping bag with that human woman though, so I can have some space and comfort. We will find her in the morning, good night!"

[mimi-ya]

burden ~ trafalgar law x reader

1,400 words | m!reader

a/n: @wheres-mystogan i really hope you enjoy!! your ideas and characteristics for the reader were so fun and unique to write!

masterlist

Trafalgar Law loved his crew. Truly, he did. But sometimes…

“Heh, hey captain!” Your cheeks splits with a smile, “I was hoping you’d show up!”

Law glares down the bridge of his nose. You’re quite happy for someone shackled behind bars.

But let’s round back to how you got into that position.

The Polar Tang had docked at a bustling island that morning. Law had made it very clear the purpose of stopping was only to refill on supplies, and he wanted to be gone by the evening. But that didn’t stop you from stripping out of your jumpsuit the second your feet hit the sand.

“Captain! The water is so warm!” He watches as you dunk your head into the salt water before popping back up, “Come in!”

Law scoffs, not even bothering to comment on the fact he can’t join you before turning to Penguin, “Make sure he doesn’t drown.” Law waves at Bepo, “Let’s go.”

The two make their way into the large city off the coast. It didn’t seem like they were the only pirates in the area, but Law wasn’t looking for trouble. It had already been a long week of dodging Navy ships almost every other day and the last thing he needed was to start something on land.

Bepo was always Law’s first choice for supply runs. The mink had great strength to carry the boxes of medical supplies and bags of food without the complaining he would receive from other crew members. And Law was happy to realize they had crossed off every needed item from their list much earlier than expected.

“Think we have time for a drink?” Law nods at the tavern across the street.

“Please captain.” Bepo says, sweat dampening his fur “I think I’m going to overheat.” Law rolls his eyes fondly at the same excuse the mink always has.

It’s clear the tavern has seen better days, but the crowd seems lively and pleased enough with the service. Finding a table in the back corner, Law and Bepo take a seat, signaling for a couple of drinks from the server.

He had hoped the secluded corner would drive away any unwanted company, but it seemed that didn’t work when people knew your face.

“Trafalgar Law.” The large imposing man cast a shadow over the table, “Thought I could smell trash on this island.”

“Eustass-ya.” Law smirks at the little eye twitch he gets in return for the casual greeting, “Mind fucking off? You’re ruining the taste of my ale.”

Kid growls, hands clenched into fists. It looks like he’s about to lunge over the table but is pulled back by his masked crewmate. Law scoffs, smiling into his drink at the sight.

But a smirk grows on Kid’s face that makes Law a little weary, “Quite comfortable for someone who’s crew was just dragged through town by the Navy.” Kid’s eyes widen with glee when he sees Law’s confused look, “That is unless there’s some other dumbass running around with your shit jolly roger.”

“Captain!” Bepo cries, Law already flying out of his seat and charging towards the door before Kid could finish his taunting.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to find yourself in quite the precarious situations that other Heart Pirates had to help you out of. But Law had explicitly told the rest of the crew to stay out of town. Not to mention he tasked Penguin in looking after you, who will definitely be getting his ass kicked as soon as Law is through with yours.

It wasn’t hard to locate where the Navy was keeping you, especially after spotting Shachi and Penguin in the alley, in what looks to be an intense hand game to decide who would going in to save you.

“It hasn’t even been three hours.” They both freeze at the sound of their captain behind them.

“Captain!” Penguin cries, “It wasn’t my fault, really!”

“Tch. I don’t want to hear it.” Law readjusts his sword slung over his shoulder, “Go help Bepo with the supplies and have the Tang ready to depart when I get there.”

Law doesn’t even bother to wait for their response before he shambles inside. He makes quick work of the marine grunts who are sitting at desks, doesn’t even have to ask for the key when someone is offering it in exchange to be put back together.

Law leaves most of the marines in pieces as he makes his way into the basement. He can’t help but grind his teeth when he hears the familiar humming coming from a cell at the end of the hall.

“Heh, hey captain!” Your cheeks splits with a smile, “I was hoping you’d show up!”

Law glares down the bridge of his nose. You’re quite happy for someone shackled behind bars.

“Care to explain how you found yourself in this mess?”

You scramble to your feet, trying to get closer but are held back by the cuffs connecting you to the wall, “I swear captain! I didn’t leave the beach, I don’t even know how the Navy knew I was with you!”

Law raises a brow, eyes flicking down to your bare chest with the Heart Pirates jolly roger inked into your skin on proud display.

“Oh.” The chains rattle as you rub the back of your neck, embarrassment heating your cheeks, “Guess I forgot about that one.”

“You’re on bathroom duty for a month for this one.” Law mutters, throwing up the blue tint of his room.

A whine escapes your lips, “But that puts me at four months straight now!”

“Then quit getting yourself into shit like this.” And then you feel the familiar woosh accompanied with Law’s ability, the sun’s harsh beams suddenly blinding your eyes as he’s freed you from the cell.

The others were so glad and relieved to see you had been rescued. An overdramatic reunion if you ask Law, but he let them indulge in their hugs and tears for a moment before pulling you into his office.

“You get hurt at all?” Law asks, pulling on a pair of gloves.

“Ehh, I might have bumped my head a bit.” You rub the smarting bruise that’s forming on your forehead.

“Sit.” Law directs you to the examination table, finally putting the two of you at eye level. And at this angle, Law can see the slight discoloring. He gently runs a thumb over the tender flesh, “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

You shrug, “Didn’t want to be too much of a bother.” Your eyes follow Law’s form as he grabs a bottle from the cabinet, dipping a finger in and pulling out a dollop of ointment, “Tried to stop the marines.” You mumble, feeling very aware of your presence as Law leans in closer to apply the mixture.

“With what, your head?”

And you think it might be some attempt of a joke from your usually stoic captain, but he isn’t far off, “Heh, well. You know I’m no good with my hands.”

Law pulls back, slight surprise and worry in his eyes, “Don’t do that (Y/N)-ya. You know you’re not a fighter.”

Your shoulders slump slightly, and you stare at the floor, “I just don’t want everyone to think I’m a worthless crewmate or some kind of burden.”

Law places the jar on the table beside you, his free hand gripping your chin to meet his stare, “You’re not worthless, and you’re defiantly not a burden. We all have our strengths.” Before letting go and returning the ointment to the cabinet.

You heart skips a beat at the seriousness of his tone, eyes wide as you watch him pull off his gloves and toss them into the wastebin.

You jump to your feet, coming up behind Law to wrap him in a hug, “You’re the best, Captain!” Before leaning down and planting a kiss on his cheek.

Law barely has time to process it before you’re out the door with that humming echoing down the hall. His hand brushes where your lips burned into his skin, and he’s sure his entire face is flushed red with his mouth hanging open a little.

“Tch.” Law mumbles to himself, praying he’ll have a few minutes of solitude to regain his composure before the next crisis, “I just meant you’re good at cleaning the bathroom.”

[ooops-i-arted]

Headcanon: Din and Cara as husband and wife.

The ultimate power couple of the Outer Rim. Deadly in battle together, fighting in sync, always having each other's backs. One drops a weapon, they're already reaching for where they know their partner's spare vibroknife is. And they're very protective of each other and their son. Do NOT mess with Clan Djarin.

Cara keeps her own name, though. After all, all that's left of her family is their name. (Din supports her choice because he drinks respect women juice by the gallon.) She is listed on official documents as Cara Dune Djarin, and she's proud to join Din's clan, but she still usually goes by Cara Dune most places.

Both of them are more interested in the honeymoon than the actual wedding ceremony. It's so nice to be officially together, they like it (whether it's a royal wedding or just a simple exchange of vows with Grogu as their witness, depending on what AU you're running) but the real fun is leaving their toddler with a trusted sitter and going to spend some quality time together.

Din is the one who says sweet and honest statements with those big brown eyes and a soft smile, simple things but things he truly means like "I'm so glad you're my wife" and "You look so beautiful today." Cara is the one who says things like "Is that a blaster in your pocket or are you happy to see me hurr hurr" and then smacks his ass. Din usually saves the snark to occasionally catch her off-guard and she loves it when he does.

They're both more about quality time + acts of service than gifts or grand gestures. They love kicking their feet up after a long day, sharing a bottle of spotchka, and just chilling on a couch together. Cara is always keeping the weapons cabinet organized, everything maintained and clean. Din sees how annoyed she is by the squeaking chair in the cockpit or hears her worry about Grogu getting into that loose wiring and fixes it.

Any gifts are more small but meaningful things rather than big things. Din sees flowers originally native to Alderaan being sold in the market and gets her a little bouquet just because. Cara uses her rusty embroidery skills from her girlhood on Alderaan to spruce up a new shirt for him with a mudhorn design.

Cara learns Mando'a and while she never masters it like a native speaker, she can carry a conversation. It's nice (when they're not around Mandalorians) to have a secret conversation that can't be overheard by others.

Din buys a bottle of authentic Alderaanian wine for Cara for a birthday treat. She tries to hide it but is a bit upset; when Din asks she explains that it's a diluted fake and real Alderaanian foods, drinks, and artifacts that survive are often traded on the black market for thousands and millions of credits. After that the New Republic occasionally gets a tip that boils down to "black market traders at X location, neutralized but you should pick up their stuff."

Neither of them is very good at cooking after years and years of relying on simple travel food or whatever they could grab from a spaceport. Also their mealtimes revolve around a hungry toddler and feeding themselves is an afterthought. However when they get a chance they like to cook traditional Mandalorian or Alderaanian food together. Sometimes they mash it together and end up with a disaster or a masterpiece.

Both of them pass on their traditions and culture to Grogu. They celebrate Mandalorian and Alderaanian holidays, eat the food when they can, Grogu has a few items of clothing from both cultures, and he loves songs and stories from both.

Din still gets pulled over by space traffic control for his flying now and then and Cara uses her New Republic Marshal connections to make sure he doesn't have a record or any consequences.

There's never anything the Marshal of Nevarro can't handle. Because even if you manage to escape her, you do NOT want her to call in her big silver shiny backup. Being beat up and arrested by two people casually talking about their son's education and if the frozen space chicken got taken out of the freezer for dinner yet is surreal.

Both of them are the type that goes "I'm seriously injured? 'Tis but a scratch, I shall carry on" but also goes "My SO has a scratch? STOP EVERYTHING, THEY NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION." It leads to some interesting discussions.

Having a young child means their lives are still very much dictated by said young child. Cara is nervous at first about actually being a mother. Din is very supportive. ("Look, you can't do worse than turning him in to the Imperials like I did.") With practice she learns the skills, and Grogu has no trouble worming his way into her heart, and she gets the hang of it. She's proud to be his mother and loves him so much.

Din and Grogu sometimes butt heads over whose turn it is to use Cara's chest as a pillow. Cara and Din sometimes butt heads over whose turn it is to be the pillow and/or the big spoon.

It takes Din a bit to be comfortable with removing his helmet for Cara after so long holding very strictly to the no-helmet-removal rule. Cara never pushes him and lets him take it off when and where he's comfortable with. It means so much to Din that she is so respectful of his beliefs. Cara is very conscious of being respectful about it, though she also loves seeing his adorable face whenever she can. It also warms her heart to know that this sight is special, reserved for only his most trusted loved ones, and that he wants to share the sight of his face with her.

I've said a lot that I headcanon Din as ace and I still do even in shippy stuff, but he's not sex-repulsed. If Cara was also ace and not interested in sex he'd be happy to just cuddle, but she very much is (I headcanon her as being bi) and they enjoy banging when they can. To Din it's more about the emotional intimacy, being close with her and making her feel good, than the physical sensations (though he certainly enjoys that too). Cara loves having private adult time whenever they can, however their intimacy is usually controlled by the sleep schedule of their boundlessly energetic toddler son and how much energy they have after chasing him around all day.

They're not PDAers at all, but they love physical contact in private. Kissing when they can, hugs daily, cuddles and snuggles every night, and the only exception to the helmet rule Din does outside is tilting it up to give her a kiss before they both head to work. Grogu loves to join in, getting kisses on his little head and hugged and cuddled by both parents. They try to curb him from sneaking into their room at night, though.

[ringmyheart]

Dating Johan headcanons? Your Vinjin one was literal ✨gold✨ and yk so now i'm super curious about how you'd think dating Johan would be like.

Thank you!! 😭 I hope I did this well <33 also a warning, skip to where I wrote [HERE] if you’re uncomfortable w reading anything ab religion. Also I didn’t mean to offend any religion I am religious myself and didn’t specify any to avoid saying something incorrectly !

If you’re religious, he’s very VERY wary and cautious. Not of you but of the people you’re with, and it worries him a LOT

If u tell him ur hanging out with church friends he’s either insisting he comes too or asking a suspicious amount of questions of ur whereabouts and watching u from afar. He’ll probably step in on accident cuz he saw them like reach for ur shoulder or smmn and intervene cuz he thought like u were ab to get kidnapped but they were just gonna bring ur awareness to the food store around u, he’d be so on edge

He doesn’t like entering churches but if u go and u won’t negotiate on wether u can or can’t go, he’ll risk it all and come too

He’ll rough up the preacher after the service tho like “what’s your thing ???? Like what do you do.” And ask them questions completely unrelated and honestly kind of confusing to intimidate them

Like, “oh so this is all u do? U just preach?”

“Uh, yeah I love my job and am devoted. :) 👍”

“u have no other job? Nothing?”

“No...”

“R u married?”

“Yep!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“What??”

And he meant like yeah good keep ur eyes off of u his s/o or SMM but it came out off putting and frankly indiscernible 😭

While in the service he might even start to shake cuz he’s so worried if he sees AC or hears it running he’ll grab ur hand and book it cuz he thinks ur being poisoned 😭

[HERE]

Likes to share things with you, like clothes and all. U know that black jacket he always wears it’s also ALWAYS on u too

Half of it is cuz he’s stingy w money naturally so it’s like less money spent if u guys r sharing ur food and clothes and all

So ur always wearing his stuff but in return he’s always wearing urs and like even shoes. If ur taller than him and have clothes that were his size he has ur old wardrobe in his closet now as hand me downs

HE PROBABLY wraps ur shirt around his wrist as a good luck charm before fights. Before he gets into a showdown he’ll wrap it around like his arm and kiss it and say ur name or whatever and he swears if he does this tradition he cannot lose he won’t let himself

Because u don’t spend much money, u have wired earphones (nothing wrong w that ofc) HOWEVER if ur listening to music together and he runs into someone he has beef with he’ll start swinging and ur just there like 🧍🏽‍♀️ cuz the earphones r still connected and he’s fighting to the death w like sweet but psycho playing in the background

He loves physical activities to do together. If ur not active u probably will be now forcefully bc he’ll be like please and u can’t say no so now ur hiking every day

Forgets to wait up for u bc he gets rlly ahead of himself the amount of times u get lost on the trail is unbelievable and he eventually establishes the “if u lose me, HUG A TREE AND I WILL FIND YOU” rule w u and now three times a week ur hugging a tree and waiting for him to come pick u up in the middle of the woods

He’ll apologize and tries to teach u the layout but u don’t memorize it ever

Also loves biking and gets u matching bikes, likes walking the dogs w u, going on runs etc. if u cannot run he grabs ur hand and is all its okay u got this :)) like thanks for the sentiment but it doesn't help💀

DO NOT DO HOBBIES W THIS MF!!!!!!!!! If u like to dance and tell him he’ll do it with you and within two days he leagues better than you it would suck

He is so good at picking things up if u play just dance for fun he will kick ur ass and ur like bro I thought we were just playing having fun wtf 😕 and he genuinely wasn’t even trying

So if ur competitive don’t put him on the hobbies ur into cuz he will start it a beginner and be better than u within three days

He’ll feel so bad tho if he finds out u don’t like it. Like when u drew stuff he’d sit by u and draw too and when u saw he was advancing to surpass u u stopped. He thought u just grew out of it but finds u in like a closet drawing to hide from him

But he loves doing stuff ur interested in w u even if it’s something he was never into. If u like it he likes it by association

The type of boyfriend to buy you ten fruits if you say you like one.

In passing you mention liking watermelon the next day you come home there are ten on your counter and he’s like hey :DD!

Gets you a matching dog god jacket like him so u two and ur dogs r matching always

He doesn’t care if you’re wrong, he will die defending you!!! U r always in the right what do u mean the total cost is 10.00$?? What do u mean it says 10$ on the register?? They said it was 8$ u heard them

He’s pretty reserved when it comes to personal stuff and just everything in general. U will be three years into the relationship and realize u don’t know what his last name is??!!!

He’s a “I didn’t see why it was so important” mf... if u ask ab his past or occupation he’ll tell you but in a way that underplays it extremely. Because he isn’t that ready to be vulnerable and open up as well as thinking u might not care or you’ll leave him

He’s a pretty jump-y person because he had to be alert and on his toes most of the time. If you surprise him by accident by being too quiet then appearing right by him he’ll jump three feet up like a cat or sock you in the face then apologize profusely and tear up feeling horrible

He’s pretty perceptive but when caught off gaurd he gets very nervous, can’t help it

While watching tv shows or bingeing a series he will narrate everytning to u. Because he really enjoys the show and wants to make sure u understand in the fullest too and enjoy it. If he didn’t understand sometning in the beginning but then understands you HAVE to know too

“Oh my god he just shot him....”

“The dog RUNS AWAY!?”

“She said she loves him oh my gosh...”

“They’re kissing?”

Like yes Johan.... we know.... if you tell him he’ll stop but it’s like programmed in his DNA to not shut up while watching tv he can’t help it

He’ll also pause the show to turn to u and go “I KNOW HIM!!”

And ur like “rlly?? OMGG”

And he’ll go “YEAH he’s also in that other show remember :O” and u realize he does not know him recognizes him

😑😔 .

He’s not that updated on internet and how humor has progressed over the past few years so if u send him any meme over 2015 he will be so confused

Send this and he’ll text back “😅 why did you send me this?”

“Is that sonic?”

“Are these your texts with someone?”

Otherwise he’s a pretty normal texted. He uses punctuation sometimes which will throw u off gaurd cuz it will be like “I love you.” And it’s like sweet but why did he add the period?? But he doesn’t always so it’s regular

If playing sports or doing something competitive he threatens everyone in the beginning to let you win and always lets u get the score/goal/net, whatever. He pulls everyone into him prengame by their collar and is like “listen ur letting them win got that. If I see u take that ball from them....”

He’s a helicopter boyfriend he is always seeing what ur doing what ur up to how u are, etc. protective to a fault basically

Holds u back when crossing the street as if ur seven years old

I have more I could say, but I’ll inevitable write another johan relationship hcs some day again so I’ll save it for then 😅 I hope this was what I wanted! Thank you for requesting ❤️❤️