#the first part is more sirius whereas the last bit is more regulus

[enbysiriusblack]

"honest people always seemed pretty stupid to me. I've always loved messing with people who try to hard at life. I hated selflessness; it's probably because I was jealous, they all had something I was missing. It was like they could always see what a pathetic and small-minded person I really was. I was always afraid."

[startanewdream]

Mia

Summary: It’s not really an unplanned pregnancy if you planned it once - even it was twenty years ago, right?

Or the road leading to James and Lily’s baby number two. (Part of the Jily Lives AU)

Note: To be edited later with a link to AO3 as soon as this gets a title. Edited with the link to AO3 if you prefer. Also, this time there is mention of Sirius and Remus being alive because after the last one, I felt guilty.

Warning for... mentions of sex. That’s how babies are made after all.

_________________________

They are in bed, Lily’s head over his chest while he caresses her hair, both still recovering their breaths when she first talks about it.

'How do you feel about another?'

James raises his eyebrows.

'I don't know if I should be happy you enjoyed so much you already want more or if I should be concerned you are not satisfied, Lily'.

'What? No -' she giggles, turning in bed to stare at him, her auburn hair floating around her. 'I meant about another child'.

James is silent for a few seconds, considering it.

'So that means you are not satisfied'.

She rolls her eyes, but James can see the amusement in her face.

'In bed with you, yes, I am', she assures, placing a soft kiss on his chest, over his heart. 'But about kids, I've been thinking about it'.

James bits his lips.

'You know how I feel about it', he whispers.  'I hated so much being an only child that I found myself brothers as soon as I could'.

'Yeah and you did propose to me mentioning how you would like a house full of kids - enough to fill a Quidditch team, if I remember correctly'.

'I was babbling, afraid you were going to refuse me! You know you can't use someone's desperate proposal against him'.

She smiles softly.

'So you don't want a bunch of children?'

He touches her hair once more, keeping his eyes on the auburn strands, and it comes to his mind that he would like a child with that gorgeous hair of her.

'I do. Maybe not seven, but I don't want Harry to be an only child. It's just -'

He doesn't finish, but James knows he doesn't need to. Harry is just fifteen months old, an unplanned child in the middle of a war they are not close to winning and, truth be told, if James and Lily had more sense, they would not have one child, let alone another one.

And there is the fact that their only son is already too much involved in this war.

'Hey', she cups his face. 'Let's plan together'.

There is a pleading tone in her voice, and he knows that what Lily is asking is hope - for better days, for a time where they can have more children without worrying about what will happen to them.

He looks back at her and when their eyes meet, his heart beats faster. It should be silly considering what they were doing minutes ago and how he possibly cried in very colourful words that he loved her, but this is one of those moments where time seems to stop and he realizes, with a wave of electricity running through his body, with a certainty that leaves room for no doubt, that he loves her with all he has.

That’s why they are together, that’s why he asked her to marry him. Not because he feared for the future, not because he was desperate to enjoy as much time with her as they had left.

But because he loved her since what seems always now, and he won’t deny any hope for Lily, not when he's been living on it.

He kisses her softly.

'Let’s plan’, he agrees. ‘I think… maybe four kids would be nice. Two boys, two girls'.

She smiles.

'Well, we can't plan that'. Then Lily throws him a knowing look. 'You are thinking about forming a new group of Marauders, aren't you?'

He smiles unabashedly.

'Just think about family photos. Each one of our kids dresses as one of the Marauders. It would be the cutest thing ever'.

Her eyes shine, seeing beyond him.

'It would. Fine, four kids. We will need a bigger house'.

'We can expand the house, you know. My dad always said he thought of creating a new wing here; there is plenty of land'.

'Two rooms to begin with. They can share until they are older'.

‘Sirius always slept in my room when he came over’, James remembers fondly. ‘We almost burnt the house once or twice, I must warn you’.

‘Consider me warned. Petunia and I had separate rooms, but when I was younger -’, she pauses suddenly, and James can see the concern on her face. ‘What if they don’t like each other?’, she whispers.

‘They will’.

‘You can’t know for sure, I mean - you see how Petunia is with me. And Sirius can’t even talk about Regulus, what if -’

‘You are worrying too much, Lily’, he says gently, kissing the top of her head. ‘Maybe they will best friends, maybe they won’t. But I’m sure they will be family no matter what’.

She looks thoughtfully, but after a minute she nods.

‘What about next year? Harry will be two, it’s a good age gap’.

‘It would be nice. We can start practising now if you want’.

‘I thought we already did’, Lily winks at him. ‘But we can repeat tomorrow’.

‘Halloween fun?’, he smirks. ‘Will you be wearing a costume?’

‘Only if you do - and no, your antlers tiara doesn’t count’.

He pouts, making her giggle and kiss him until his expression relax.

‘Hey, Lily’, he calls her, his voice resounding with the hope he associates with Lily. ‘Let’s have another child’.

___________________

When Harry is five and he starts Muggle school, it comes to James that his son has been lacking other kids in his life. It’s not that he is lonely - he couldn’t be, not with James and Lily always there for him, not with the almost daily visits from Sirius and Remus, but he suddenly wishes there were more children in the house.

Now, he can’t count on Sirius or Remus to help him with it - both of them seem to avoid relationships like the plague, though for different reasons -, so he rounds Lily while she is in her office preparing a potion.

‘James?’, she calls surprised, when his arms embrace her from behind and he kisses her exposed neck (James loves when Lily is making potions because she keeps her hair on a bun and he has a weak spot for her neck). ‘This will explode if I don’t stir it’.

‘Let it explode’.

‘It’s a Draught of Living Death, we will turn into zombies if -’

‘Let’s make a baby’.

That makes her take her wand to freeze the potion and turn to him, with a funny smile.

‘Is that a weird way of asking for sex? If so - you used better lines before’.

‘No, I mean, sex is good too and most necessary, but I mean it, Lily. Let’s try for another kid’.

Lily blinks.

‘Why now?’

‘Why not now? Harry is still young, we are definitively young, what’s keeping us from having more?’

She bits her lip, thoughtful, and James feels suddenly dismayed.

‘Unless you don’t want anymore?’

‘It’s not that, I want it - it’s just, with everything that happened -’

‘I know, it slipped out of my mind too. But now, we are living in this peace for a while…’

‘But it won’t last, will it?’, she whispers as if she feels guilty of even thinking about it. ‘Dumbledore says he isn’t really dead and when he returns -’

‘Maybe he will stay hidden forever, maybe he is too weak to try anything’.

She smiles sadly.

‘Every time I look at Harry’s scar I know that something will happen, James. That’s not a normal scar, that means something, and I get scared’.

‘Hey’, he hugs her. ‘As long as we are together, we can face anything - didn’t we prove that before?’

‘Yeah, but - is it fair? To put someone innocent in the middle of our mess?’

‘It was not fair with Harry, but we managed. We can do it again’.

‘James…’

Lily looks at him and James sees she is not convinced, not really; he knows Lily enough to understand that she is rational - she likes to think first, whereas James is always the more impulsive. They complement each other. He takes her to fly, she remembers him to come back to the ground.

And he understands what she means, even if he wishes things were different.

‘You are right’, he sighs. ‘At least for now, until we see how things really are’.

She smiles, touching his face with fondness.

‘I want it, I really do. Don’t forget it’.

James kisses her hand on his face.

‘I won’t. In fact, if you want to start practising now -’

____________________

It’s just because the house is empty now that Harry is off to Hogwarts that the subject returns; they don’t exactly talk about it. James just sees Lily is not taking her potions anymore - they look at each other, understanding passing between them (one of the benefits of being married for over ten years) - and then suddenly and simply as that they are trying.

It feels a little weird to actually hope for once that something comes out of their moments together, but it’s Lily. He forgets everything when he is with her, focusing on just enjoying her company and touches and how they made each other feel.

But time passes and nothing happens. It’s been only three months, it’s nothing unusual, and Lily mentions seeing a doctor when the owl comes to tell them how someone jinxed Harry’s broom on his first Quidditch match.

That doesn’t seem like a good sign.

When they return home months after, in June, after seeing Harry all bandaged in the hospital, after hearing him talking about coming face to face with Voldemort, they don’t say anything. He buys the herbs for Lily and she is not surprised when he gives them to her.

There is no need to talk about it.

____________________

Most of the time their lives are full of things happening and Harry is always at the centre of a storm, so when James thinks about it, Lily was right. He can’t imagine facing dementors and going back to the Order with a young child to be cared for.

He can’t imagine how their child would be a target, how vulnerable and defenceless their child would be, without a love protection, without a prophecy somehow binding its fate. They made the right choice of postponing their second child.

That’s the rational part of him that suddenly vanishes the moment he sees Lily holding baby Teddy Lupin in her arms for the first time, that cute fat baby that giggles at her, closing his eyes for a minute - and then his blue hair turns as red as hers and his eyes are bright green.

It’s like a mini-Lily and suddenly James wishes more than ever that this war is over soon - or that it had never even begun because he can see that other life, the one where there was no Voldemort. Instead, James and Lily’s lives are filled with more children, happy shining kids whose worst problems are passing their school exams and not surviving. The life he always wanted for Harry.

His eyes meet Lily’s and she smiles at him, offering him to hold Teddy. It’s been forever since James held a baby, but he still remembers, not really forgetting all these nights he took care of Harry. Teddy is a quiet baby, smiling at him too, his hand raised to try to grab his glasses.

‘He is perfect’, he whispers, looking to Remus. His friend is beaming - James understands that happiness that comes with holding your child for the first time, with seeing that miracle in the shape of a baby that you swear to protect with all your heart.

‘Of course he is’, Tonks says cheerfully, while Remus hugs her, holding her close to him as if he doesn't believe he gets to be this happy.

James understands the feeling of living that light bright moment right after coming out of the darkness. There is nothing like that.

He returns Teddy to Tonks when he starts to whimper for his mother, and then he looks at Lily.

Her green eyes are filled with longing for a life they promised themselves they would have, and also a little bit of hurt. How did they lose sight of their dreams?

They both know the answer but it's not a comfort.

Later, when they apparate back to their hiding place - a sorry little apartment where they pretend to be a normal boring couple -, they don't wait to turn out the lights and they don't say anything before their lips are meeting, and it's desperate and harsh as it has not been for a long time.

Somehow James feels like they are making up for a lost time that won't go anywhere and that they can't retrieve anyway.

It doesn't matter.

When they first married all they had was their love and dreams. They still love each other and for those dreams - they will accomplish them.

________________

They never speak out loud but somehow in the aftermath of the last battle, it feels right that they get a new beginning just as everyone else is having.

It’s all about rebuilding - Hogwarts, then the wizarding world - the Ministry, the Aurors, organising a system that was clearly outdated - and their home. It's a long process and in the middle of it, they forget about worrying, about planning; they just go with the flow and somehow it works without they even meaning to.

Lily has this weird expression on her face, one that seems to mix disbelief and amazement as she turns to him one morning and says as if the most natural thing:

‘James? I think I’m pregnant’.

That’s the first difference from their first time. Now he is the one that leaves for the pharmacy while Lily prepares a potion - they will test twice, just to be sure - and they are together while they wait for both tests to tell them if her feelings were right on the spot.

They are.

There are two lines on the muggle pregnancy test and the potion turns blue and suddenly like that they know they will be parents again.

She hugs him then, her eyes filled with tears of pure joy, laughing when she sees James is really crying now.

‘I love you so much!’, he declares brightly, kissing every part of her face that he can (but with care, because a pregnant Lily always seems fragile to him, no matter the fact he knows this is not true). 

And it feels that this is what he should have done the first time, when she first told him about Harry. They should be happy and only that. No worries. That’s the second difference.

There are parallels too, James thinks. Harry’s shock at the idea his parents will have a baby reminds him of Sirius’ reaction as if he can’t possibly understand how that happened (somehow, despite running into them a couple of times, Sirius still got shocked with the fact they made sex). Lily is as sick as in her first pregnancy, so the first months are mostly spent at home too.

And just like back then, Sirius comes to visit her every day he can, careful to bring her anything she may want to eat and offering massage to her feet that Lily doesn’t need to, but she enjoys anyway.

‘I can still see my feet, Padfoot’, she replies teasingly, lying lazily on the couch of the living room while Sirius' hands work their magic on her right foot. James winks at her.

‘Just enjoy, Lily. He is trying to get into your good graces. He wants to be named godfather again’.

Sirius nods unabashedly, grinning at her. 

‘Remus is the next in line’, Lily says, shrugging. ‘But keep with that massage and we will think about you if baby number three ever comes’.

‘Still without a name for baby number two?’

‘You need to stop calling young Prongslet by numbers’, James scolds without any malice.

‘We are not calling Prongslet either, James’.

‘Of course not, Lily. It will be Elvendork’.

Lily rolls her eyes.

‘Not this again’.

‘It’s unisex!’

They indeed refer to their baby as Elvendork just because it’s easier than calling “it” or “baby”, and Harry throws confused looks at them, looking concerned that his new brother or sister will really be called that, though Lily assures him this won’t happen.

But the truth is that they really have not decided on a name, haven’t even discussed yet seriously until they return from the doctor with the news it’s a girl (James cried with this news just as he cries every time they go to the doctor and he hears the baby's heartbeat or even that shape in the ultrasound that it's not really discernible).

They are on the bed, with James looking wondrously at Lily’s now round belly and imagining their little girl (maybe that mini-Lily he once thought of, maybe a little Harry, maybe a little James - it doesn’t matter, he already loves her), when he whispers: ‘We can’t call her Elvendork’.

Lily throws him a surprised look.

‘Oh, no! Poor Elvendork!’

He is too enamoured with her to retort.

‘Did you think of any names?’

‘I have a list of names’, she admits. ‘But none of them feels right’.

They go together through her list; there are beautiful, weird and creative types of names, but as Lily said, none seems to fit yet.

Of course, they don’t lack ideas. Everyone seems to have an opinion.

Sirius is all for the stars, of course (but James thinks he is teasing, though some of them sound nice), and Harry suggests female heroes.

‘What about your mothers?’, Remus suggests, when he and Dora come over for dinner. Lily is sitting on the couch, playing with Teddy. The boy is four now, and he seems fascinated by Lily’s big belly - he had been too young when Fleur was pregnant with Victoire, so this is the first time he is really seeing a pregnant woman and understanding what it means.

Teddy already refers to the baby as his little cousin, sounding proud and excited to meet her.

‘Rose would be a good name’, Lily muses, but still it doesn’t seem to be what she is looking for.

At this time, with only a month away until their baby is born, James considers they are hoping that looking at her face will be enough after the birth - if not, he will just cry the first name that comes to his mind when they sign her birth certificate.

He only hopes he manages not to sign Elvendork. Lily would kill him.

‘I wouldn’t go for Euphemia’, he declares, shrugging.

‘As someone who has an outdated name, I second that’, Dora says, grinning at him.

But Lily looks at both of them with her brows furrowed, and James knows there is something on her mind. She doesn’t say anything until they are alone later.

‘You know, I think Remus might have the right idea’.

‘Liked Rose after all?’

‘No, actually, I thought about your mother’.

Thinking of his mother brings to James that smell of fresh-baked pie, the warmth of her hugs - she had always been there for him, to listen and to guide him - and not just him. She had been a mother to Sirius too and even to Lily in the few months they had together before she passed away.

He smiles softly.

‘I miss her, but Euphemia is not - ‘

‘It doesn’t have to be Euphemia. Your father called her Mia, right? We can do something like that’.

‘Mia Potter?’

‘I thought of Amelia. And we could call her Mia, for short. Like Teddy or Ginny’.

‘Mia Potter’, he repeats, savouring the words.

‘Amelia Rose Potter? In honour of both grandmothers?’

James beams, hugging Lily and letting his hand feel her belly. ‘I love it’.

The baby seems to like it too, because in the next second Lily is wincing and James feels the baby kicking.

‘You know what, Lily? I think Mia will be a great Quidditch player too’.

She sighs exaggeratedly.

‘I only wish she could wait to start training when she is out’.

_____________________

Because fate sometimes is funny, Mia Potter is born on Halloween Night and the first time James holds her he is wearing an antlers tiara that he forgot to take off and that no one warned him about.

Later he will probably hex Sirius when he teases him about it, but right now he just sits next to Lily on her hospital bed, and she beams at him despite her tiredness.

‘We did it’, she whispers, sounding amazed, and James understands the feeling. They are in their forties, they lived through two wars, they raised a magnificent young man and here they are holding their second child, a tiny baby who seems unbelievably perfect in every sense.

One minute, James thinks. Let us enjoy this one minute, just a little.

When the minute is over, he returns the sleeping Mia to Lily’s arms and goes to open the door. Harry is pacing in front of the door, looking agitated as James felt all during the labour, even though he never left Lily’s side.

‘So? Can I see my sister now?’

‘And my goddaughter?’, Sirius pops in, grinning. James laughs.

‘It’s Remus’ goddaughter, and, yes, you can come in. She is sleeping’.

They get around the bed, with Sirius hugging Lily and declaring her the most amazing woman in the world (‘Are you drunk, Padfoot?’ ‘Yes, I was nervous! ‘You won’t hold Mia until you are sober’), and with Harry touching the thin strands of dark hair on his sister’s head, looking at her as if it’s the most precious thing he has ever seen.

James thinks he was wrong about that selfish minute he spent alone with Lily and Mia. Seeing Harry and Sirius cooing about the baby, he realizes this is the kind of one minute he wishes to have more in his life.

‘Do you want to hold her?’, Lily offers, and Harry nods, unable to look away. He sits on the chair right beside the bed and James helps him hold his sister. She wakes up, crying, and for a moment Harry seems to be in panic until he raises and swings her softly, just like he used to do with his godson.

‘Hi, Mia’, Harry whispers. ‘That’s ok. There, there. I’m your big brother, you see? I’m here for you’.

There is a soothingly effect on Harry’s voice and after a few minutes, Mia seems to relax indeed, her crying turning into a sob that seems to be more because of the unfamiliar world she is now in than anything else.

‘She has your eyes, Dad’, Harry says, smiling. James looks back at his daughter and, more than the hazel colour that looks a lot like his, he sees the way she seems to be curious about her surroundings as if she wants to see all the world has to offer.

Mia has indeed his eyes.

____________________

Mia is three when Ginny calls her and Mia comes with an expression of guilt that tells James she has done something she shouldn’t. That doesn’t really surprise him. He saw his daughter running with Teddy and Victoire and whenever those three are together, something always seems to happen.

Most of the time involving some kind of petty mischief that gives James very much hope for his daughter.

‘It was not my fault’, Mia declares, looking sheepish. 

‘I am sure it was Teddy’s’, Harry says, sharing a grin with James, because whenever they are discovered, Teddy always declares himself to be the guilty one, even though James can see exactly when it was Victoire (with her exuberant ideas) or Mia (with her direct-to-the-point ideas), clearly feeling it’s his role as the older of them.

‘It’s okay, Mia’, Ginny assures her tenderly, offering her arms and Mia doesn’t hesitate to go sit on her lap.

Mia loves her parents, adores Harry but it’s Ginny that she worships. Like with the broomstick: Mia learnt to fly at one like Harry, who gave her her first broom, but it was just last summer when they took her to watch a Quidditch game, where Ginny had scored sixteen goals that Mia had declared she wanted to be a Chaser when she grew up.

James had shaken his head in fake dismay at the fact his daughter had not been impressed with his Quidditch skills, but he didn't really mind: any reason he could to spend afternoons flying with her was good for him.

'We have something to tell you', Ginny says under Mia's concentrated look. Lily exchanges a smile with James; they already know, but hearing it again just makes them happier than words could describe. 'You are going to be an aunt'.

She blinks.

'Like you are?'

Ginny smiles.

'Do you know what an aunt is?'

'I know that Vic calls you Aunt, but Teddy calls you Ginny'.

'Well, I am Vic's aunt because Vic's father is my brother'.

'Like Harry is my brother'.

'Yes, so you are going to be an aunt because Harry will have a son or daughter'.

'Oh!' she looks at his brother, clasping her hands. 'With whom?'

'With me', Ginny explains while everyone laughs. 'Harry and I will have a baby'.

'Oh. Like Aunt Fleur had Dominique?'

'Exactly'.

'I like babies', Mia declares. 'Where is the baby? I want to meet him!'

'In a few months. He or she is still… not ready'.

'Oh'. Mia seems upset, then she shrugs. 'Can I play outside until then?'

Ginny laughs and places a kiss on Mia's cheek.

'Sure. We will call you when it's ready'.

'Mia', Lily calls, sounding amused. 'Do you know how Harry takes care of you?'. Mia nods. 'That's what an aunt does too'.

'Can I take the baby to the park too?'

'When he is older', James assures her. Mia smiles, her hazel eyes sparkling.

‘I will be the best aunt ever’, she declares, and then she is running outside (Mia can’t walk - she only knows how to run), back to Teddy and Victoire.

James watches her through the window, talking excitedly to them, probably telling them all about her news.

'I think you will have a handful with them in the future'.

'Me?', Harry laughs. 'If McGonagall doesn't retire by the time your child and grandchild are both in Hogwarts, I will be surprised'.

______________________

Mia’s name came from @blitheringmcgonagall cute amazing stories of Mia and Monty Potter, and the final scene is some sort of answer to @dear-james​ ‘s prompt of James and Lily knowing about James Sirius (to be properly answered some day, I hope!)

[maraudersandlily20]

heyy! saw you were looking for some promts? well i thought if i could maybe suggest something about Reg and Sirius? maybe one of them wants to talk with the other after Sirius has ran away? something like that. only if you like the idea though!

The room was empty and cold and unlived in. It had been years since a living human had stepped into the room. There was a feeling in the air, like the past of the owner loomed in every direction.

Sirius was just... staring. He could feel himself staring, hardly breathing, trying to convince himself to take a step forward. And when he did that, he had to convince himself to flick on the light. And then he seemed to stop breathing all together. 

The room looked very much the same as it always did. The bed was neatly made. There were no photographs on the walls, simply a Slytherin banner that their mother had given him hung above his drawers. The closet held numerous white, grey, and black clothing, as if he had never worn one color in his life. Even the shoes were paired and tucked away. If there had been someone living there, you wouldn’t know it from looking at the room. It was a ghost’s habitat. A place that had a memory of living that could never be pinned down. 

Kreacher had told him that he had been caring for “master Regulus’” room after his disappearance. He never let the dust gather, he kept everything exactly how master liked it. It was a stagnant piece of history, unnoticed and untouched even as years moved on.

Sirius felt like the past was holding his hand, gripping tightly, forcing him to remember times spent in this room. Times spent with his...

His brother.

The titled smarted at a wound that Sirius held deep down, one that he couldn’t explain. James was his real brother, not Regulus. Regulus had picked his side. He had decided against Sirius.

And yet.

Sirius would never deny the presence of an ache in his soul when he remembered Regulus. He had felt his absence in his life the moment he had left his brother behind. No amount of begging would convince Regulus to join Sirius and leave their abusive house behind them. He was just as stubborn as Sirius was, but he lacked the courage to leave.

During their school years, Sirius had noticed evidence of their parents’ cruel treatment of his younger brother, but he never seemed to complain. In fact, Sirius often wondered if Regulus knew how to feel emotion. He seemed so cold and stone like. Remus had compared him to a statue on numerous occasions. Sirius couldn’t help but agree.

The room Sirius stood before belonged to a human that Sirius had known but maybe hadn’t fully understood. Remus told him of his mysterious disappearance and later the declaration of his death. It weighed on Sirius more than he would admit. And now, he was standing in the doorway of Regulus’ room, looking as dark and as cold as Regulus had been himself.

“I don’t suppose there is anyone in here?” He said, a sarcastic note in his voice. “Regulus would never lower himself to becoming a ghost and haunting this house. It’s haunted enough.” He wandered into the room, settling into the desk chair, swiveling it to face the bed. 

“It weird, how different we were. My rooms were always covered in portraits and posters. Whereas his is just... plain. Even in the place where he was supposed to feel most safe, he never left any evidence of himself.” Sirius leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I always wondered if Regulus ever wanted to live a life outside of this,” there was a hint of pain as he spoke. “I guess I’ll never know.”

He looked at the room again, assessing the cold atmosphere and felt a deep longing inside him to just ask Regulus what he thought about his own room, why he had left it so bare. And, beyond that, why he hadn’t left. Why he refused to change, why he never let emotion overwhelm him, like any ordinary kid would have. He had so many questions for his brother that he felt would never be answered. 

With a tired sigh, Sirius turned the chair back toward the desk and gently pulled the drawers open. The first drawer was incredibly tidy, quills bound together on one side, notebooks and scrolls layered on the other side. The second drawer had a bit more interesting things. There was a painting, slashes of grey, black, and red, signed by someone named Everett. There was a locket with the words “and on” inscribed inside. There were photographs of people, Slytherins in their common room; some laughing, some hugging or scowling. Other pictures of trees swaying, grass blowing in the wind, water rushing over stones. Then he found the camera, and wondered where Regulus had learned to shoot magical portraits. And wondered too if he had enjoyed it. It seemed like he had. They were beautiful, for lack of a better word.

Sirius replaced the camera and opened the small draw across the top of the desk. There was nothing inside of it but a small folded up parchment. And on top of this parchment was a name.

His name.

It was addressed to him. 

With trembling hands, Sirius pulled the letter out, tracing over the swirls of Regulus’ writing of his name. He steeled himself and pulled the page apart.

He had written him a letter.

Regulus had written a letter to Sirius. Before he died. 

The letter was short. Sirius couldn’t help the tears as they came to his eyes as he read the words written in steady handwriting.  

“The star “Sirius” is considered the brightest star in the whole night sky. You couldn’t miss it, even if you tried. Just like you. You were always the bright one, the one that people stopped and took notice of. I always envied you for that.

On the other hand, the star “Regulus” is the brightest star in the lion constellation. By itself, it’s possible it wouldn’t be noticed at all. It requires the presence of others to truly be seen. It’s actually a collection of stars, but is visible only for a few months in its full glory, before disappearing. I may not have matched you in eternal glory, but at least I offered something.

I guess the first 17 years of my life would be considered the time I shone the brightest. And now, I am coming to the end of the light. The world is rotating, moving on... without me. 

I am sitting here, staring at this treacherous mark on my arm, watching the snake move against my skin, and I wonder how I could have done it. How I ever let someone tell me how to live my life, how to feel, who to be.

I am not what he wants me to be.

And, if there is anything I’ve learned in the few years I have been alive, it’s that the people who love you should allow you to be you. And not demand you to change for the sake of their gain and their image.

You never did that. You always just wanted me to be me. That’s why you shone brighter. You illuminated the work and love of everyone else. Like a lighthouse, showing the good and the bad of the treacherous sea. You were always like that. Even after you left.

In my wardrobe, there’s a small wooden box that holds photographs I’ve never shown anyone. I want you to have them. I hope one day you will read this letter and find those photographs, and maybe you will begin to understand. 

I think a part of me has always known it would come to this. Me, alone, in the house that seemed to hate us from our conceptions. You, off saving the world, with the people who love you so well, dreaming of a future I can’t even imagine. I think there has always been an understanding in my heart that I would never have that future, no matter how hard you tried to give it to me. That’s why I stayed, Sirius. I knew, if I went with you, you’d never let me be. You’d give all of your attention and energy to me, trying to make me into the person you hoped I could become. But I know better. Unfortunately, I will never be that person. It seems I have run out of time.

Other people need that love more than I do. I got to have it for so long, and I know how powerful it is. Other people need that. I hope you don’t hold back in giving it to them.

Can I tell you a secret? I never gave much thought to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think a part of me always knew I would never get that far. And now, possibly at the end of my life, I know that I am not afraid to die. 

I only wish I could tell you, Sirius, how badly I don’t want to leave you. Leaving you, as I have had to do over and over again, is like the story of the man in hell, who pushes a boulder up a hill, having to watch it fall to the bottom after every try. That pain and anguish I feel, leaving you, it doesn’t go away. It just starts over, again and again.

I promise this is the last time I’ll do it. 

I hope you get to grow up and become the things that you’ve always wanted. I hope that where my life stops, at the edge of all this potential, your life will dive in and grow and flourish. That alone gives me the strength to let this be the end. 

I wonder what you’ll be when you grow up. I wonder how your obnoxious and loving light will save people. It saved me. You may not believe it, considering where we are, but it did. And if my life is to end now, I hope the years I had left will be transferred to you. 

You made me the lion’s heart. And now, I’m going to prove to you that you did not believe in me in vain. 

Yours, faithfully, 

Regulus”

And Sirius didn’t know why, but he felt like his heart stuttered to a stop. And it did not resume it’s beating for several moments. When he felt himself come to life again, he stood and wandered to the wardrobe, where he found the small wooden box that Regulus had left for him. He slid the lid off and pulled out a hefty stack of pictures. Some were enchanted, others were not. But it was clear who the star of them was.

It was Sirius. 

Sirius with his friends, in the great hall, walking between classes, cheering at quidditch matches. There were a few of him dozing beneath a tree or swimming in the great lake. Pictures of him smiling and laughing, holding Remus’ had or stealing a kiss.

It was all Sirius. 

And for the first time in his life, Sirius understood that Regulus had been there for all of it. He hadn’t been ignoring Sirius. He hadn’t left Sirius, as Sirius had always thought. Regulus had watched him, every moment of him, had understood him. He had captured who he loved and how he loved them. He captured him in quiet moments, and loud.

Regulus had never left him at all.

At the bottom of the pile of photos was a portrait of Regulus himself. He was setting the camera up on a bookshelf, and he was smiling. He must have been about sixteen. He was in... He was in Sirius’ room, wearing one of his old muggle band shirts. He looked more like a kid than Sirius had ever seen him, an aura of innocence about him. The picture came to life, showing Regulus laugh as he balanced the camera before moving backwards. He didn’t do anything but smile, but it was the most beautiful picture that Sirius had ever seen.

It was like Regulus had left his soul in that picture. He had left it, as proof for Sirius, that he had lived. And, more importantly, that he had loved him. 

He held the picture to his chest and collapsed to the ground, not even noticing the sun set behind him. And, feeling more heartbroken then ever, Sirius cried more than he had since James and Lily had died. 

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 10: The Midnight Duel

The purple light from a fading sun gave every burnished piece of gold the effect of being on fire. Trophies, awards, medals, and several plaques all kept a highly polished look about them and stuck to their walls to the exact degree they'd been placed on even as a crash erupted and slightly shook the glass casings.

"That's it, new rule!" Sirius growled as he unstuck his face from a glittering cup boasting of some long ago Transfiguration award. "If you get close to the end of the chapter, you have to warn the rest of us!"

"Seconded," James groaned, having landed in the cradle of a statue, and sure he'd have a bruise for it later.

"Err, I'll agree with whoever gets me down," Alice squeaked from atop the tallest case of a life sized trophy of the school's first, and last, troll wrestler, except someone had the brilliant idea to have the prize be the size of the opponent rather than the student. The misting reflection from her breathing on the face of the bronze statue wasn't leading her to the confidence of getting herself down, considering she feared if she moved a finger to grab her wand she'd topple right off.

Frank tried to instantly jump forward and help, but in his haste hadn't taken note he'd landed on a precariously shaped hourglass award and knocked it over as well as himself, creating a domino effect that ended with the one she was on anyways. Thankfully her perch didn't so much as shiver even with the others now leaning against it. Still unbroken, the leaning cases now resembled an odd staircase.

She shrugged, taking this in stride by edging to that side of the lopsided head and now awkwardly shimming herself down each level, testing her weight before trying the next so as not to further upset anything, and finally making it onto level ground and patting Frank on the shoulder as he got to his feet with a blush.

"Well then," James sighed as he got to the floor and pulled the book out of a display of a dozen other books...leading him to ignore the question of who won a book as an award? "Now that that's settled," he only cast one more look around to make sure everyone was present as he started, rolling his eyes at Sirius now checking his reflection to make sure his hair was still evenly parted from his fall.

He had to hold the book just slightly awkwardly from his hand that still didn't enjoy anything being brushed against it, but was instantly pulled in by the chapter title alone. This was easily going to be the most interesting thing Harry would be doing yet, a duel! He found quickly this to be his favorite chapter just from listening to Harry explore their world even more through so much talk of Quidditch.

"That Malfoy," Sirius rolled his eyes and scoffed at him. "As if he even knows what a helicopter is, let alone bragging about getting away from one."

Lily looked at him in complete disbelief, which only doubled when his friends nodded along in agreement. It had been maddening enough listening to Dudley do all that to Harry and their mutters about that, but she really couldn't believe they couldn't see the hypocrites they were being now.

Torn between continuing to ignore their presence, especially in light of the last chapter, and giving them such a piece of her mind they wouldn't have any of their own left, she was grateful when Alice gaped open mouthed at them for a moment before bursting out laughing and turning to Frank, "you ever seen a bigger lot of idiots?"

"Not in all of my years," Frank agreed as he browsed further away from them, pretending to admire some Special Awards to the School given to a student rather than keep staring at such imbeciles.

Sirius spluttered with indignity, Remus and Peter exchanged a look and chose to say nothing, while James rolled his eyes without remorse and kept going, he wasn't going to defend himself to two people he'd never really spoken to, instead he just gave an anxious look at Evans and didn't want to linger on the subject.

It didn't help that the more Malfoy continued to antagonize Neville, the more filthy looks she shot him, as if picturing his messy black hair instead of the sleek blond. When the Remembrall was stolen for a second time and all Malfoy did was laugh as the poor kid was taken away for a broken wrist, James couldn't help but snap at her scoff of disgust, green eyes still lingering on him, and not because he'd been the one to say it.

"Honestly Evans, you really think so low of me? I've never nicked someone else's stuff, certainly not laughed when they were injured!"

"No, but you certainly cause plenty of the injuries," she refused to give in.

"This could go on for a while," Sirius sighed as he wandered over next to Remus, who'd gone over to look at some Defense Against the Dark Arts awards.

Remus agreed noncommittally, he was watching Alice Smith and Frank Longbottom. They were holding hands and whispering to each other, and he found it sweet how clearly worried they were for a kid sharing Frank's last name, whereas James and Evans were bickering loudly over Harry surely about to do the same thing as he mounted his own broom for the first time in chase of a much better flyer.

Peter was watching the bickering pair eagerly, looking at any second about to jump in and save James, though as he'd never actually stepped in between any of their fights neither of them were sure why he kept bothering.

That was all the looking Sirius did before he leaned in to Remus and muttered, "bored yet?"

Remus gave him a sideways look, glanced around at the spacious room that had a few darker alcoves, and shrugged before walking as if checking to see that both doors to this room were locked as well. Obviously he didn't want to go right past the two sparring, so he should check the one around the corner first.

Sirius followed with a curious smirk in place, only a step behind as he turned the same corner, but still wasn't expecting to be seized and pinned to the wall. Remus was still being gentle, holding his shoulders as their lips met, as if still politely asking if this was okay to be doing while not exactly waiting for permission to do it while keeping Sirius pinned. Sirius was having none of that.

The rush from this seized him, he pulled him in tighter, pressing their lips heavily together and only remembering to breathe through his nose when he had to at the slight catch of his breath. He'd already had his fun testing the waters of just kissing with another, and he wanted this to go further like he had before. Now that his first male companion would be leaving at the end of the year, he was going to enjoy this new company, and was still easily pushing aside who exactly he was doing this to lest things get awkward.

A groan he at least tried to muffle escaped him as Remus seemed to instantly understand like always, his hands sliding down tantalizingly slow towards his hips, when he realized what he'd forgotten at the same time he interrupted.

"Unless you two are planning on snogging over there, do you mind if we keep going before time actually ends us."

"I forgot about Regulus," Sirius hissed, pulling away at once and watching the corner with a leer as if expecting him to come bursting around and spot exactly what he'd just said. He in fact hadn't taken note of where his brother had been this whole time, he could have been in this very spot and they likely wouldn't have noticed!

"You tend to do that a lot," Remus said in an honestly conversational tone of voice, releasing him at once and stepping away as if to actually inspect how many trophies a school could hold for the largest Shrivelfig bush.

Sirius hadn't been expecting that, and his first instinct was to reach out and pull him back in arm's length, or even keep going just to prove that they could, there was no reason to stop, when Prongs came around the corner instead with Peter, the first still looking ruffled despite how much he was trying not to.

"Can you believe her?" James muttered, loud enough the whole place could likely still hear anyways. "A bully, honestly, why doesn't she ever go after Snape as often as he curses me! He started it. What's Regulus doing anyways, never seen him bother to say anything before this even while he's been hanging around Snivellus more than she has lately."

"Can't imagine the idea of being interrupted like that," Sirius huffed while crossing his arms.

James seemed to miss the sarcasm.

Peter gave Prongs a reassuring clap on the shoulder, still looking inexplicably pleased by all of this like he'd just seen a great show. "It's alright James, she'll come around."

James gave him a sideways look, like he was trying to detect mocking in that, while Remus finally looked at them and said, "ever tried using some reverse psychology on her?"

"I told you Remus, you can only take two electives, and why would you want to take more anyways-"

"No you idiot," Remus cut off with an eye roll, "I mean, if you don't want her to think you a bully, than try to stop cursing her friend for a bit."

James just looked at him before looking to the other two, "you ever wonder if Moony invented his own language without sharing it with us?"

"All the time," Sirius agreed.

James kept going then just to ignore Remus rolling his eyes at them again.

His excitement grew heavily almost at once, easily blowing off the still foul grumblings he could hear from the redhead at reading of Harry with such a natural on a broom! He was twirling through the air with ease, without a trace of fear, and then he actually caught that little glass ball without a scratch on him! Even McGonagall's arrival couldn't dampen his suddenly good mood, one little detention no matter what the kids fear was trying to tell him otherwise wasn't going to ruin his pride at hearing his Quidditch abilities being passed on!

Somehow the moment got better the longer it kept going!

"I think he actually stopped breathing again," Peter said conversationally as James didn't quite seem able to spit out the reason of why Wood was in the room.

"Probably shouldn't have been letting him get so excited, what with recently being electrocuted and all," Remus agreed with a touch of concern.

"Alright Prongs?" Sirius asked cheerfully, finally heaving himself off the wall with one last look at Remus before going to his best friend and patting him forcefully on the back. "I'm happy for Harry to, he'll be a shoo in for Quidditch in his next year-" he froze though as he glanced down at the words James couldn't get past his lips but Sirius then shouted at the top of his lungs.

Evans actually face palmed at the news of Harry being made Seeker. All four Marauders were over there laughing, applauding each other, and generally pleased beyond all measure for such an accomplishment. Even Alice and Frank looked politely startled at such a feat. Regulus just huffed and sank even lower next to the roster of all past Quidditch players and the various trophies earned over the course of the school. Of course no one was going to mention that he'd made the team in his second year. Obviously his older brother had done nothing more than look on at him in surprise when he'd seen him in the last few games as if he'd forgotten his only brother's existence except when they were playing. He'd show him though, when they got out of this crappy time, whatever was going on here, and played their Quidditch finals that weekend.

The din was deafening from the four and Regulus was honestly tempted to get up all over again and shove that book up Potter's arse if he didn't keep going. Thankfully his image needn't be used, this time, when he kept going at shouting levels all the way up to and past Harry getting into a midnight duel, and only ended with that little Hermione girl getting in the way of their merriment.

"What a little shit, threatening to tell a Prefect on them," James said, that smile finally slipping from him at such a turncoat move.

"She's as bad as Snivellus, more so than Malfoy," Sirius agreed, his nose turned up in disgust.

"Nosy little bugger, hope Harry or Ron shake her off before they get there," Peter nodded along.

They were all sure Lupin agreed as well, though his quiet mutter didn't carry as far like Potter did when he kept going.

Alice and Frank got a moment to smile again when they heard Neville was alright, and had inherited his father's memory problems, and they were all listening unabashedly to the duel about to come when the four kids got there, which meant they all said something quite unique to the little pint not even showing up.

"What a little shit."

James nearly fell over he turned so hard to get his head back around the corner to see Evans looking in his direction, arms crossed, and face still just as red from their fight, though clearly she was putting that aside for now to curse while saying, "never heard such a cowardice move, the least he could have done after starting the fight was finished it!"

Regulus frowned at her though, interrupting whatever fool hearted comment Potter was fixing to agree with. "I found it rather clever actually, why get yourself in trouble when you can just as easily setup your enemy?"

"I can see the merits of both sides," Frank agreed, "the underhanded tactic while he's just saving his own skin from really having to face the fight."

"It's purely ridiculous is what it is," Alice scoffed as she looked at her boyfriend. "There was no winning side in any of this and I'm honestly surprised it went this far instead of all the kids backing down."

"You lot have never been in a real fight have you?" James said aghast at all of this.

"And you've been in too many," Evans snapped testily, causing him to back down and go right back to Harry's problem.

It was a bit entertaining honestly, watching the kids panic and treating getting away from Filch like such a harrowing journey, but the amusement died instantly when the three headed dog entered the picture. Then no one was smiling, minds honestly frozen from shock of hearing of such a monster in their school and if it was really going to get away with eating a bunch of first years!

No one spoke, the rooms shadows feeling more vast than ever and the echo of a massive dog barking in all of their minds until James finally declared all four kids safe no matter what they tried to discuss afterwards.

"That was unbelievable," Peter was the first to find his voice, his light brown eyes still a little wider than normal. "Absolutely ghastly! Whose ruddy idea was it to have that thing in the castle!"

"Du-Dumbl-" Remus stuttered as if a child trying to speak the name for the first time.

"He wouldn't," James said at once. "The Forest he can't really control what comes in and out of there, but he'd never have that thing where so many students could so easily get to it."

"Well this certainly wasn't all Hagrid's doing," Sirius disagreed.

Remus flinched and no one really had much more of an argument, but the mystery still lingered like nothing they'd ever experienced in school. Just what was going on around there?

"Well here's my warning," James sighed as he read the final lines of this chapter.

[luxfurem]

@treppenwitzz​​ asked: i need all the deets about your bellatrix... ALSO ANJI i wanna know more about anji | MEME.

So... this ended up really long and therefore it’s under the cut! I sort of left out the “who they could get along with” part but I also feel like that really just depends on verses and such, so we can totally discuss that sometime  🥺🥺🥺

Bellatrix Lestrange

TW for mentions of alcohol, abuse, death and miscarriage

TROPES/ARCHETYPES: The Champion, Femme Fatale

Bellatrix is the very first muse that I officially wrote on indie, but also a muse that I’ve explored in the many group rps I’ve been in in the years before that. Because of that, she’s been through a lot of changing and tweaking over the years, but I like what I’ve got going for her now.

I’m absolutely a big fan of villain characters and I support the humanizing of them because in my mind, it is all the more terrifying that a villain could like the same things as you, could be like you, but be capable of such terrible things. I think it creates a frightening perspective that’s the quiet sort of terrifying, and it’s what I aim to do with Bella. I wanted to create a villainous woman who is powerful without being sorry for it.

I do want to stress that a villain doesn’t necessarily become worthy or deserving of pity or redemption because their story contains sad aspects. In the end, everyone encounters terrible and sad things in life, and it’s what you do with these experiences that matters. If you become bitter or vengeful, that is a decision, and the consequences of however you decide to treat the world after are not cancelled out because of the reason why you became this way.

On the one hand, she is this terrifyingly powerful witch who, despite her comparatively young age, climbed up the ranks of the death eaters to the position of lieutenant at Voldemort’s side, but on the other she is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s wife. I wanted to explore how these two aspects of her story intertwine, or, in some cases, clash.

My Bella is a bit canon-divergent in that I absolutely refuse to write a woman who’s completely submissive to a man, especially one that doesn’t deserve it. Of course, I don’t want to stray too far from her original arc in that I still believe she’s absolutely starstruck by Voldemort, but she is more interested in his abilities, his mind and his cunning than she is in him as a partner. It’s a different kind of infatuation, where she isn’t all too sure if she wants him or wants to BE him. In time, she settles with neither, and becomes his champion, instead. She’s a knight under his banner, a soldier under his command.

Much of Bella’s arc comes down to a dominant woman living in a society that doesn’t like dominant women. Pureblood circles are catered to the pureblood man, whereas the woman’s job, much like in societies of previous eras, is to bear a husband's children to continue the pureblood line. It’s a crude and sexist thing, and Bella wants none of it. From a young age, she rebels against her father’s firm beliefs in the way things are supposed to be, and rebels against her mother’s attempts to “guide” her back to how she’s supposed to be. She’s the feral child with the holes in her dresses, the scrapes on her legs from climbing trees and running too fast. Her long hair always tangled and messy. She knows that as a girl in the Black family, the highest achievement would have been to become matriarch, but even that wasn’t ever going to be enough for Bella.

When her mother dies, about two years after the birth of Narcissa, the matriarch of the Black family, Walburga, takes over the role for a short amount of time while her father drinks his grief away. After Sirius is born, however, even this steadiness falls away, as their aunt spends her full time caring for him and the second son, Regulus, born a year after. This leaves Bella to assume responsibility for her sisters at the age of 8. Her fights with her father, their temperaments going head to head resulting in situations I don’t really care to divulge about.

Once accepted into Hogwarts is where things start to divert. From one day to the next, her previously always messy hair is neatly combed back into a braid. Her clothes are pristine, not a spot in sight, and her sharp commentary is kept to a minimum. To all those around her, it seemed she had finally heeded her mother’s wishes, and embraced her place in society. But to those who knew her well enough, to her sisters and to her cousins, there was a stubborn fire burning behind those crow-black eyes, burning higher and brighter the more time passed. It was only a matter of time until the fire either consumed her, or consumed those around her.

It was at the age of 17, during her last year at Hogwarts, that Bellatrix was introduced to the Dark Lord. She’d seen him before, of course, but the Black family had stoically kept their stance on the matter of his campaign neutral, although this wouldn’t last. Her fiance-to-be, Rodolphus, who was a few years her senior, had already joined the ranks, and Voldemort’s actions could no longer be brushed off as a mere whim by the family. And Bella, who desired more than the life of a housewife, saw this as an opportunity to lift herself up.

I want to stress that I, as both a Tom Riddle and Bellatrix writer, don’t think their dynamic was of a romantic or lustful nature at all at this point in time, if ever. Voldemort saw the fire and the potential, and decided that he wanted both of these things for himself, for his ranks. She exceeded expectations and he decided that, if anyone was worthy to be his student, it was her. Over the course of the next two years, he trained her in the dark arts, eventually revealing her, at the age of nineteen, to be his new lieutenant. This was met with some resistance, of course. but Bella was quick to silence that. After all, she had risen above her station, and it had taken effort. She was not about to lose that to a bunch of butthurt men.

It’s also around this time that she marries Rodolphus, whom she puts through the ringer for months before and even post-marriage. She hated the idea of being passed from one man (her father) to another (her husband), as if she is nothing more than a possession. The marriage was arranged, and this bothered her, too, considering her lack of choice in the matter. And because she couldn’t exactly fight her father on it, she fought Rodolphus instead. On every turn, hoping he would be turned off and cancel it. After all, a man’s voice, even if he was only an heir, and not patriarch, still sounded louder than a woman’s voice ever would. But it only seemed to invigorate him, pulling closer the more she pushed. As if he were attracted to the fire, wanted to scorch himself just to stand in the light. He never forced her and he never would, even as she refused to let him into their marriage bed for months, even as she taunted him and ridiculed him. The marriage, in time, seemed to grant her a certain freedom that she never had as a daughter of house Black. She could go where she pleased, do as she pleased, pursue her position among the death eaters as she wanted to. She lost her wariness towards him, her anger. And eventually, she learned to love him.

Bellatrix used to be closest to her sister Andromeda. The two of them were, for a long time, practically inseparable, two halves of a whole. It was as if they should have been twins, and what one lacked, the other would possess. Where one went, you could soon expect the other to be. That was, of course, until Andromeda defected. When she did, Bella’s whole world collapsed. Her castle was captured from the inside, by sadness, by grief and by anger at the deceit. Because Andromeda hadn’t chosen her. Had chosen a “filthy mudblood” instead of her own sister, who had always cared for her, always been there for her. If Bella had had a mean streak, before, it was now full blown, a riptide that would destroy everything and everyone that didn’t get out of her way. She was devastated by the loss, and would never quite recover from it. This event had a huge impact on her view on muggleborns. Whereas before she allowed herself a certain tolerance, where she still viewed herself as holier than but limited her disdain to snooty looks and haughty comments, she now was actively hostile, threatening and garnering a reputation among the ranks of the death eaters for her ruthless, cruel actions.

During her marriage, Bella was pregnant exactly 4 times, but all 4 pregnancies ended up miscarriages fairly early on. It’s my belief that her problems stem from the inbreeding within the family and the English pureblood society in general. Contrary to her other beliefs on the woman in pureblood society, she was interested in being a mother and had the motherly instinct to go with it. Her not being capable of bearing children left her feeling devastated and hardened her heart. In AUs where she does have children, whether of her own or adopted, she develops a sort of caution, a knowledge that she isn’t just responsible for herself, but for this child as well. In these AUs, it keeps her out of Azkaban.

Speaking of Azkaban, I usually don’t write about her time there or really post-Azkaban, and this is mostly because I hate the narrative that she’s “crazy”, and I think it’s harmful towards people who have mental health problems. I believe, due to how Azkaban’s dementors suck the happiness out of people and how Azkaban looks like hell on earth, she suffers from a form of PTSD, but she is not “crazy”.

A few loose facts about her:

is bisexual but leans towards men

loves to write poetry, but she never shows it to anyone.

has a very low tolerance for alcohol and barely drinks.

loves coffee and can’t function without drinking it every morning

is obsessed with taking care of her hair. It’s long and dark and very well-maintained

loves to wear red lipstick

forced herself to learn to use her wand with both her left and her right hand

Anji Terryll

TROPES/ARCHETYPES: The Antihero, The Living Legend, The Reluctant Hero

Anji is actually one of my older muses, who doesn’t see the light of day often because I suppose the Skyrim fandom is sort of dead. On top of that, she’s a female oc. i don’t think i’ll need to explain this. Regardless of that and the lack of information I’ve put online about her ( which I actually seek to remedy by writing this ), she’s a quiet favorite who will never disappear from my roster.

I wanted to create a person who fate had been thrusted upon unwillingly. I wanted to create a woman who had never planned to do anything that didn’t benefit herself in life. Anji’s early life consisted of what was barely a life at the orphanage in Riften, where she watched the Thieves Guild lift jewelry from a man’s pocket with the man none the wiser. She never entertained the idea of being an honest worker, because she’d seen how the jarl treated honest workers. Of course, she knew that if she were to be caught thieving, the storm she’d call over herself would be worse, but that was only if she was going to be caught.

So she got herself into the Thieves’ Guild, worked her way up the ranks to Guild Master, before, near the border, she was caught stealing a horse and shipped off to Helgen, where the main story begins.

Anji is, from the start, reluctant about her supposed fate. She never believed in prophecies and rarely in Gods and now, everything was real, everything was true. And she was the main character of a legend. Thrust into a role she doesn’t think fit her. She isn’t who these people deserve, a thieving woman who serves only her own benefit. The people deserved a selfless knight, advocating for the survival of mankind, believing so wholly in oneself that they could overcome a legendary monster like Alduin the World-Eater. Someone who isn’t her. So she rejects her abilities, rejects her destiny, and pretends for months that she isn’t the one the Greybeards are calling from the Throat of the World.

And for a time, it works. For a time she can focus on the physical gain, the money she earns, the reputation. But in the back of her mind, the knowledge scratches at the door she keeps it behind. She sees the destruction the dragons are causing all over Skyrim, the terror of the people. The loss of morale. She tells herself that she decides to see what these Greybeards have to say, if only to tell them they’ll need to find someone else.

But she comes to learn that there is no one else. There is only her and her bow, and her lack of morale, against an ancient dragon.

Anji is the Reluctant Hero, the Unlikely Hero, not the woman you’d expect when one mentions the Dovahkiin. She’s slight and flighty, quick as a whip with her twin blades, relying on speed above strength. She prefers sneaking through the shadows instead of fighting her way through boldly and openly, and she never starts fights she can’t win. This doesn’t mean she won’t kill, and doesn’t mean she won’t use her powers, even for personal gain. She enjoys the power of the Voice and, as lore suggests, overtime grows more and more powerful (think: her voice can at some point burn the ice off a mountain), but she hates the responsibility that comes with it and will never fully accept it. She’s practical and quick-witted, more on the serious side of the spectrum, although she possesses a funny streak that only shows up in intimate settings ( think: close friends/guild/lovers ) or when she’s completely drunk. She observes each angle of a job or mission before proceeding, wanting to be ahead of each trap she might run into.

A few loose facts about her:

is bisexual but leans towards women

has absolutely no interest in bearing children, adopting is fine though

favors her bow over her twin blades

carries two daggers in each boot

In some verses she can be a werewolf for absolutely no other reason other than that i can

in modern verses she owns a martial arts school

Play smart not hard

[reddeaddamnation]

“Say I love you” - Sirius Black x Reader x Regulus Black [part 2]

Tag list: @padfootlupxn​; @clockworkherondale​

The longer [Y/N] gazed into the stranger’s features, the more she found the resemblance between him and Sirius. She had heard of such a person, of course. Sirius had told her about his family past. Regulus had always been the golden child, whereas Sirius was deemed “unworthy” for the simple reason of not agreeing with the political views of the house of Black. She knew Regulus had become a Death Eater at the young age of sixteen and later happened to regret it, going as far as to try to destroy one of Voldemort’s horcruxes and losing his life in the process. Yet, the person who laid at their feet proved the man was very much alive and had lived through things, the thought of which sent shivers down [Y/N[’s spine.

“We can’t just leave him here...” she stated quietly, cautious to not wake the other inhabitants of the home. Though she wondered how the commotion hadn’t caught the attention of anyone by now and was afraid of the reaction this man could receive if by chance someone decided to come see what was happening at such a late hour. The front door was still wide open and as soon as [Y/N] noticed, she made quick work to make sure it was closed and locked again. Sirius was silent the whole time. She could tell he was thinking, contemplating if this was right. His brows were furrowed, lips in a tight line, posture - taut like a bowstring. His eyes bore confusion, anger, distrust, disbelief... “Sirius...” the girl called gently in a soft voice.

“I don’t know, [Y/N]...” he finally answered “He was a Death Eater...” [Y/N] bit her lower lip, looking down at Regulus again, as if searching for anything that could expose a plan, a conspiracy or a sign that he could bear ill intentions. But all she found was a broken man in rags, too weak to even defend himself. His eyes were half-lidded, his body still, apart from the short, raspy breaths he took, indicating the life still lingering inside him, frail but very much there. “Lumos.” [Y/N] commanded and her wand instantly lit up a soft blueish-white luminescent ball of light and crouched to take a better look at Regulus. Now that his body was illuminated, she could barely hold in the shocked gasp that urged to escape when she noticed that the dark substance that painted his skin and clothes was actually dried blood. She could not bear the sight anymore and looked away, hand covering her mouth.

“And he was presumed dead for so long...” Sirius continued speaking absentmindedly, eyes locked onto his younger brother. There was a strange tint in his voice, one that could be triggered when a long past memory was recalled, a bittersweet memory that awoke both love and hate at the same time. “He could be anyone under the polyjuice potion.” He extended his arm, grasping his brother’s shoulder and shook him rather roughly “Hey!” he called out louder, as if trying to awake him from a deep slumber “Can you speak?” A very weak and raspy voice answered the question with a yes. “In your fifth year, during the quiddich tournament against Gryffindor how did you end up catching the snitch?” Sirius asked. [Y/N]’s head shot up to look at Sirius with a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look in her eyes and lips twitching ever so slightly, trying to hide amusement. Sirius merely glanced at her and sent a reassuring wink in her direction.

“I...” Regulus started explaining, straining the last of his voice to prove his true identity “I smuggled...a wand... Slughorn... he helped...” a sharp cough cut him off mid-sentence “You saw me and... threatened to tell... Dumbledore... But I blackmailed you with...” another cough interrupted his story “I saw what you did... with James... and Remus...” by now, a thin streak of blood poured out of his mouth and down his cheek to the floor. But he watched Sirius with mischief and a mysterious smirk on his lips “You almost killed her... didn’t you?” Sirius stood up suddenly from his crouched position and looked away. He was tense... “Ellodia de Noel.” the name made Sirius twitch slightly “She got lucky...or rather...you got lucky... she didn’t turn into a-” Now, what cut Regulus off was his older brother’s loud, razor-sharp voice, which stung even [Y/N], despite the fact that it wasn’t intended for her. “Enough!”

Regulus chuckled quietly, but regretted it a moment later, because it merely caused him more pain and he let out an agonized groan. “I trust no one knows this other than the two of us.” Sirius looked down at his brother. He despised him for bringing up the name of the woman from their past. “Just us.” Regulus promised. “What’s he talking about?” [Y/N] suddenly asked, barging into the conversation “Is he the real Regulus?” Sirius waved his hand, trying to calm himself. Her voice always had that effect on him. “Yes.” he answered “Please, don’t...” he bit his lip, thinking over his next words “This is something just the two of us should know...” That was all that was needed to end [Y/N]’s questioning. He made it clear. Regulus had said too much even.

“Should we help him inside?” she asked, changing the topic. Sirius shrugged his shoulders, not even giving the two much as a glance, before turning on his heel and walking further inside the home, leaving them in the hallway. His response sent [Y/N] into a hurricane of mixed emotions. Sirius had left her alone to figure out what to do with his brother. Disbelief. His brother was someone she had only heard of and even in this state, there existed a possibility of him being a danger. Fear. Sirius had left her alone... Betrayal. But still, she understood that he needed time to comprehend all that was happening. His brother was still alive after so many years. She wasn’t going to deny that this man had done atrocious things in his past, but didn’t the revelation change his beliefs? Didn’t the desire to do the right thing end with him almost losing his life?

[Y/N] decided to do the right thing, herself. Now that they were alone, she approached Regulus and reached to take his hand. Her action attracted his attention and just now he realized that he never had noticed her up until now. And he regretted it dearly when he saw the comely look in her beautiful eyes, filled with compassion and almost naive innocence. Her skin on his felt like the touch of the finest silk and he subconsciously found himself wanting more. Her presence near him felt like an assuring, genuine promise of a guardian angel. Perhaps she was an angel sent by the Heavens themselves to reward him after so many years of suffering... or to finish him off. “Come on, Regulus.” her voice was like a symphony of the stars and the way his name rolled off her tongue reminded him of a siren’s call “I’ll help you.”

A promise. Suddenly, he couldn’t find strength to fight the desire to sleep anymore. His body screamed for rest and he wanted to oblige. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and even if he wanted to respond to her, calling him with worry, his voice failed him, the darkness took over and he drifted into the void of unconsciousness. The conversation with his brother exhausted his already wayward mind and spirit and all he hoped from now on was that the vixen before him wasn’t a cruel trick or a hallucination. He hoped she was the first thing he would see when he wakes up. If he does wake up...

Yet, he did wake up. The gentle sun rays warmed his skin and shone through his eyelids and the sensation of soft, velvety strands of hair tickled his cheek. All of the agonizing pain he felt yesterday was gone as if it was never there. For a moment he believed that he was dead and his soul was resting in Heaven. Strange... he never believed in such things and even less thought he would end up there. But when he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the beauty that had him feel like he was among a rose garden. He wanted to go closer, yet was afraid this was not going to last. The flower was just an illusion and he was afraid of the thorns. This was the way he had pictured the feeling of love. But for her, he would grasp the thorns, even if it meant his heart would bleed and he will lay among the beautiful illusion of the roses and succumb to the bliss.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She spoke with relief “I was afraid for a moment that the spells didn’t work.” Oh, but the spells did work. Regulus felt at peace. Whatever spell she cast on him had worked. He was completely at her mercy... “Is he better?” a bitter, harsh male voice grasped him and pulled him out of his blissful trance and he turned his head to the side, only to see his brother Sirius leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. “He is.” the girl answered, looking away from Regulus. “Good.” the response was deceptive, as his next words shattered all hope of a future for Regulus “Then he can leave right now.” 

A shocked gasp came from [Y/N] “Sirius!” she exclaimed “He’s your brother!” Her words caused both siblings to lock eyes onto her with surprise. Regulus sat up from the couch he was laid upon and briefly glanced at the clock on the wall, which showed exactly a quarter of seven in the morning. “I don’t care!” Sirius answered sharply and in that moment, the younger brother was overcome with rage that Sirius could talk to the person who saved his life in that tone. Little did he know, his brother also harvested the same feelings for her. Because just like him, [Y/N] had saved Sirius not long ago. In her, Sirius saw a savior, a kindhearted and pure treasure, which he didn’t intend to let go. 

Sirius will always remember the first time he showed himself in front of her in human form. He didn’t know what came over him to do such a thing. The fear that she would turn him in to the authorities stayed, but he didn’t want to lie to her anymore and play the role of a helpless stray dog. “I know you aren’t a criminal.” she told him, gifting him with the usual loaf of bread she would give Padfoot, with the same kind smile on her lips. “And how would you know?” he scoffed, almost mockingly, disbelieving. “Because if you were, you wouldn’t have shown yourself to me. You would have me killed on the spot.” she explained “I see it in your eyes. They aren’t those of a criminal.” Her words had him bewitched. He took so many risks for her, even going as far as being so close to Hogwarts at such a time in such a form. But those words had him falling under her spell for good. He would always remember how she promised to watch over Harry and make sure nothing bad befalls him, for which he would be forever grateful.

“Sirius, they could be looking for him!” [Y/N] reasoned, but Sirius didn’t listen. “Even more of a reason for him to get out of here. The Death Eaters could find us along with him and we already took a big enough risk to keep him here.” She wasn’t ready to back away either “He betrayed You-know-who, Sirius! He could be helpful in the future.” This time, Sirius scoffed mockingly “Until he decides to join them again. If he isn’t working for them undercover, that is.” Here it was when Regulus joined in on the argument. “If I was working for You-know-who, why do you think he kept the lie going that I was dead? Why would he keep me locked away and torture me all these years?” he looked his brother dead in the eyes, daring him to raise his voice. The girl stood behind him again “Please, let him explain himself, at least.” Sirius’ eyes traveled between the two until he ultimately decided to back away with a defeated sigh. “Damn it, [Y/N], you’re too good for your own...good.” he thought for a moment, before speaking to his brother again “Alright. Talk.”

The voice of a boy cut off the argument, coming from the hallway “Sirius?” His head snapped in direction of the voice, only to see Harry, standing several feet away from him, confusion all over his face. Sirius’ heart sunk in his stomach and all color was drained from his face. “What’s going on?” Harry asked, stepping closer, only to freeze when the ex Death Eater came into his line of view.

[snufflesmajor]

the prank (tm)

At his core, Sirius Black is not a terrible person. I feel the best way to describe him is to quote Oscar Wilde (because Lord Darlington is not only what we should all aspire to be, but one of the few people verbally dramatic enough to describe Sirius): ‘It is absurd to divide people into good and bad; people are either charming or tedious’.

Sirius Black is not a terrible person, but he can be as tedious as he is charming. He means well, but his emotions are unstable at the very best of times. Whereas James might see the world as black and white, Sirius sees everything as Friends vs. Others. He would die for quite a few people, but the only people he would ruthlessly slaughter the masses for are his mates—James, Remus, and Peter. This is an important distinction to make, because it is not exactly the pinnacle of sanity. The only thing that saves Sirius when it comes to this is that he happened to choose the right side to be on. If he hadn’t, if his core values had matched his parents more closely, he would have done the same for Regulus, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and eventually, Lord Voldemort.

It was luck that he did not choose the wrong side and that his values did not line up. But the reasons why (or lack of reasons why) he recognised the ‘right’ side is for another post.

This post is about how his own sense of loyalty and friendship can destroy him and others.

The very first thing anyone should know before reading this post is that Sirius does not see people. He sees habits, or annoyances, or faint memories, but he does not see people. He sees the Marauders—lives and breathes and dies for them—and they are the only ones he sees. It’s why he doesn’t date (who would want to spend time with someone who isn’t James, Remus, or Peter?) and barely makes a friend outside of their group until he’s at least in third-fifth year. He has those superficial friendships—will say hello to Frank, have a chat to Marlene, make fun of Lily—but nothing concrete. It’s all fleeting, and the people he’s ‘friends’ with outside of the group likely don’t know much about him at all. He has the Marauders and they are his world, and I’m really pushing that because it is the sole reason for The Prank.

Well, that, and Sirius doesn’t see Remus as a werewolf. Not really.

There is no reason for it when it happens. Snape was poking his nose in again, but he always poked his nose in. He was sneaking around, trying to get them expelled for breaking the rules when he was breaking the rules himself, and Sirius was used to it. They all were. They made jokes about it, probably planned extra special pranks for it. Snape never got too close to any important truth, and there were four of them against him anyway. He was never going to find out, and he never managed to push Sirius over the edge.

Even if he’d brought up Regulus, or threatened Sirius (this is honestly hilarious though; Sirius would die laughing), or any number of things—Sirius would not have given Remus up. In fact, if that had been the case, he probably wouldn’t have told Snape how to get into the Shack at all.

Only the Marauders exist for Sirius when he’s in school. Others later, but back then, it was only them. He does not do well on his own—he is a true pack animal—and he does not do well when he is bored.

When Sirius told Snape about the Shack and the Whomping Willow, it wasn’t because he was angry. It wasn’t because Remus hurt his feelings or James had gotten closer to Lily (or what James and Sirius considered to be closer). It wasn’t because Peter ate the last of his chocolate, or because Snape said a mean thing.

The only reason Sirius told Snape any of it was because he was alone, because he was bored, and because he could not see Remus for what he was. He could not see him as a murderer—when in wolf form and unable to stop himself—and he didn’t think anyone else did either.

Just the Black heir up to the Black Family tricks, right? Sirius would get the blame—maybe a suspension or something, detention for life—and Snape would get a little scare. Remus wouldn’t attack him, because Remus didn’t attack any of the Marauders. Moony didn’t attack the Marauders, and maybe he’d forgotten just why he didn’t.

Just a bit of a scare to liven things up a bit, nothing more.

It isn’t until much later, when it’s almost too late, that he lets it slip to James. Deliberately, though he won’t admit that. He can’t admit out loud that Remus could, in any form, be dangerous or scary. He can’t have Remus knowing he thinks it, that it frightens him when Remus transforms, that Remus disappears and is replaced by something so totally foreign. He’d convinced himself that Remus—his Remus, their Remus—was still in there, that he wouldn’t attack Snape (or anyone, for that matter). So he lets it slip to James, as a joke or a brag or something in between, and watches him run off to save the day. Because that’s what James does.

I could probably go into much more detail about this (especially the Remus and James parts, because they are very important parts and knowing those two helped to calm and shape Sirius into something more fluid and tameable) but then this would be like 40k long and we can’t have that.

tl;dr: Sirius does it because he's Sirius. there is not explanation or excuse. there is no real reason.

[emmelineparker308]

Traditional

Summary: Sirius is not traditional. In fact, he does things purposely to annoy his parents and veer as far from the views as possible. And his life gets even more non-traditional as he meets you. 

Warnings: Angst, and loads of fluff

Sirius Black was not traditional. Being brought up in the Black family he tried his best to stray from the traditionalist values his parents tried to force upon him. He did this at first by not being placed in Slytherin, then in his friend choices and his behavior as well. Now, however, he showed his absolute hatred for tradition by falling in love with you.

Of course, when he first started to fancy you, he didn’t think to do it to show his rebellion for the age-old values his parents worshiped. It was your smile, your eagerness to help everyone, your courage, frankly, it was your ability to be a kind, gentle individual as well as a total badass that made him fall for you. Your stubbornness to become an animagus, when you found out about Moony made Sirius respect you. Also, your blatant disregard for his flirtations made him fall deeper in love. What made him admit to himself that you were it for him, was seeing you one day in his dorm room, during your fourth year. 

It was the day after the full moon, Moony was particularly more violent during this cycle. But he wasn’t the only one that came back with battered and bruised. Sirius tried his best not to show the deep gash on his side to Remus, knowing he would immediately feel guilty and forbid you all from joining him at the next full moon. Sirius went to bed instantly as he came into the dorm, not even bothering to fix the wound. He woke up to the sound of sniffles and a stinging feeling. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of a very red- eyed you, pouring something into his wound to clean it, all the while wiping the occasional tear that poured out of your eyes. “Love wha-” he tried to speak but you covered his mouth with your free hand.

“Quiet Sirius, I don’t want Remus to hear us,” you whispered. Once you were done with the initial cleaning you pulled out a brown bottle and looked up at him with guilty eyes. “This will sting a bit,” you whispered yet again and took his hand placing it on your shoulder. “When you feel pain, I want you to squeeze. Understand?” you instructed. Sirius who was mesmerized by how close you were to him managed a nod. When you poured the liquid on his wound, he tried his best not to leave a bruise on your shoulder. Noticing that he was ready to scream in pain, you distracted him by saying all the things you liked about him, praising him for things he didn’t think others noticed about him. In turn he focused on you. On how a strand of your hair always seemed to fall away from the rest, how focused your eyes were, how you bit your lips in concentration and how your hands worked with precision. Once you were done, you gave him a kiss on the cheek for being such a wonderful patient and left the dorm. That was when for the first time Sirius said aloud, “I love you”, though you didn’t hear him that day, he acknowledged to himself that you had stolen his heart for good.

It took Sirius a good two months to tell you those three words, and then convince you that you weren’t a fling to him. And after a year of dating, you brought him home with you to celebrate Christmas with you family. Even though he was a little nervous, and shy at first since your parents were muggles and he’s never really been around muggles that much, what with being raised in the Black family and all, but he warmed up quickly to your family. Your father and he bonded over their shared love for motorcycles, and he would listen to your mother while she talked his ear off about astronomy. Once the holiday’s ended it was safe to say that in your parent’s eyes Sirius was already part of the family.

Another year passed, and Sirius started to get more serious about everything, especially you. He didn’t think that he would be one to settle down but that changed the moment you came into his life. He didn’t know what was possessed him to do it, maybe it was the rumors of an impending war in the wizarding world, or maybe it was him coming of age, but after months of saving up for it he bought you a simple ring which he knew you would love. He had also visited your family without you knowing to ask for their blessing, but before popping the question he wanted to introduce you to his family. At first, he didn’t want to introduce you to them, not because he was embarrassed by you, hell if he could he would buy a megaphone and travel around the world, screaming that the most beautiful woman in the world was his, but he was weary of his parents. They kept pestering him about finding the perfect pureblood girl for him to date, saying that once that girl comes into his life, he’ll be all straightened out. He knew the minute his parents found out that you were muggle- born they would treat you badly or even try to hurt you. He couldn’t let that happen, you were his queen, and he wanted no one and nothing to ever hurt you.

“Pads, honey, are you sure about this?” you ask nervously twirling the sleeve of your blouse. You were dressed in a vintage white long sleeved blouse which was neatly tucked into a red pencil skirt that hugged your figure in a proper, yet appealing to Sirius eyes, way. He smiled at your adorable nervous tick and took your hands in his.

“I am positive love. Regulus brought his girlfriend, who he started to date only two months ago home last week. They keep criticizing me about not finding someone, they say that if I was in Slytherin I would have surely found a girl by now. They’ve been trying really hard to set me up with other pure-bloods, they think that once a pureblood girl comes into my life, I’ll be happy, and ‘all-straightened out’. I need them to see that I am with you, a beautiful muggle- born Gryffindor who keeps me happy, pushes me to be the best version of myself, and is the most intelligent woman I know,” you smile at his words and take a breath in to calm yourself. “Did I mention the fact that you are stunning?” he whispers into your ear as he opens the door to 12 Grimmauld Place.

You giggle whispering, “Oh, you’ve mentioned that only a couple hundred times.”

You both take in another deep breath before entering the house, hand in hand. Even though the house was exquisite, thoroughly clean and well lit, there was something dark and brooding about the place. You felt the hatred and darkness seeping from the house when you first stood at its door steps but now walking through you feel the hatred growing and somehow you feel that it’s all being directed towards you.

Though Sirius did inform them of your visit, his family decided to start dinner without you. A pang of hurt resonated through your body, not because you were hurt by their behavior rather you knew how upset Sirius is getting because of it. Looking around as you took your seat next to Sirius you notice Regulus, who gave you a slight nod to acknowledge your presence.

When Regulus was a first year he got bullied by the upper-class Slytherins a lot. The bullying went on for two more years and got physical. He turned to his cousins for help, but being too afraid that they would become the targets, they did nothing. Of course, no one mentioned anything to Sirius, because they knew that even though he was in Gryffindor and was the bad sheep of the family Sirius loved his brother, and would do anything to protect him. It was you who ended up saving Regulus from his tormentors for good. You were running late one morning, deciding to take a shortcut to transfiguration when you saw the altercation happen between Regulus and his bullies. Outraged you hexed two of them, knocking them out cold and then you single handily beat up the other one, giving them a warning that if they were to ever hurt Regulus again you wouldn’t go so easy on them. Ever since then, he had been kind towards you, helping you out secretly with anything you seemed to struggle with, and giving you presents for special occasions.

Much to your displeasure Bellatrix and Narcissa, your two archenemies, were at the dinner table too. At school, after Sirius and you started to date you tried to be nice to the two horrid sisters under the pretense that they were his family. However, Sirius was quick to reprimand the behavior, chuckling encouraging you to give them hell.

Finally, your eyes fell to the head of the table where his father and mother sat. Both gave you tight-lipped smiles as you sat down. You knew better than to think that their smiles were genuine, but you returned the gesture all the same. Sirius scooted closer to you, taking your hand once again and interlocking his fingers with yours, he clears his throat. “Right, as you may all have guessed, this is my wonderful girlfriend, (Y/F/N, Y/L/N),” he said, sounding rather confident.

There was a long pin-drop silence, which was broken by his father wrinkling his nose and saying, “(Y/L/N), that’s not a name I’m familiar with.” He squints at you as if assessing your features to match them to any pureblood he may have met before.

“Well father,” Sirius starts the confidence in his voice starts to fade, “that’s because her father and mother are muggles.” An over exaggerated gasp escaped his mother’s lips and you knew all hell was just about to break loose.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!” His mother shrieked. “You let filth like that walk into my home?!?! Do you know how much work it is going to take to cleanse this house now?” Sirius clenched his fists under the table, you knew he was about to say something rude to his mother so you placed you hand over his fist to calm him down. When his eyes meet yours, you simply smile at him. Narcissa and Bellatrix smirked at the scene unfolding before them, whereas Regulus looked very uncomfortable. “We scolded you for not being sorted into Slytherin,” she started again “We yelled at you for your pathetic friend choices, and for your troublemaking behavior. However, we still gave you a place in this family, but this is something we can nor will tolerate. Why can’t you be with Bella or Sissy, they are gorgeous compared to this thing you brought home. They’re more fit to be your partner. Now, you can break things off with this filthy mud-blood or leave your family.”

After that his mother just stared you down, you didn’t back off either staring at her with the same intensity she looked at you. If Walburga expected you to cower in fear or shed a tear at her words she was going to have to try harder. Sirius, on the other hand, lost it at ‘mud-blood’, he stood up so fast that he nearly knocked the table over. “This is no family. A family is supposed to make you feel wanted, make you feel protected, and happy. A family is supposed to help you through your troubles, and respect you. I have only felt like part of a family when I’m around my friends. And this woman that you called filth is ten times more a woman than you’ll ever be. She is kind, smart, loyal and beautiful. She treats her enemies as her friends. Don’t believe me as Regulus. When he was teased by upper classmen who were Slytherin pure bloods, mind you, the girls you called fit for me timidly stood back and watched too scared to stand up. It was (Y/N/N) who punched out the men and saved Regulus from the physical torture. I didn’t come here to get your blessing or for you to approve of her. She is my life, and I’d rather leave this family than leave her.” Your eyes widened at his bold statement, and before you could calm things down by trying to intervene, his father stood up and slapped Sirius across the cheek. You were too stunned to react for a couple of moments. After the initial shock, you were filled with anger, you wanted to stun him right then and there but held back giving him the only bit of respect you had left for him.

“Stop this nonsense this instant Sirius. I will not have you talking to my wife and nieces like that. As your mother stated, you are to break things off with her. I do not care how big of a fuss you make, so long as you are under my roof you will follow my rules. Now get out or I will throw you out myself,” he screamed the latter portion of the scolding aimed at you. Sirius took your hand, looked around at everyone else and said, “Well then this is goodbye.” His mother tried to protest but Sirius had already yanked you past the door. Once outside he took you by the waist, pressing you close to him he whispers, “This may make you feel a bit woozy.” He apparated you with him to James’ house.

James and his parents were very generous, you explained what happened with Sirius’s house Mr. and Mrs. Potter sent an owl to your parents informing them that you would be staying with them for the rest of the summer. You tried to decline the offer but they had already apparated to your house, packed your things with your parents and came back. Once you were settled in the room you decided to make tea for Sirius, who hadn’t uttered a word since you two apparated. You tried to be as silent as possible as the Potters had already gone to bed, humming to yourself you wait for the water to boil.

As you pour the warm water into cups you feel a pair of strong arms snake around yours. You smile as Sirius moves your hair to the side and kisses the crook of your neck. “Feeling better Pads?” you ask as you hand him the tea. He doesn’t respond but extends his hand to you, shooting him a curious look you take his hand and he leads you outside. It was a warm night and the view of the stars was simply breathtaking.

“I’m sorry love. I’m so sorry. I wanted them to see that you’re the wonderful person you are. I thought maybe they would have accepted you. I am an idiot. I shouldn’t have done that,” he rambled, letting go of your hand and looking away. You could tell that these thoughts had been brewing in his mind ever since he left his house. You knew him well enough to know even the thought of you being hurt made him cringe in pain. Looking at him you saw that your boyfriend was about to break, and you cupped his cheeks forcing him to meet your eyes.

“Sweetie, I wouldn’t have agreed to go if I didn’t expect this of them. I promise you, I am fine. Your parents must try a lot harder than that to get to me. I just worry about you. I can’t believe that you dealt with all that for this long,” you gently spoke, “Why didn’t you tell me about all this? It pains to think that all these years that was what you dealt with. You are so strong for holding on this long, my love. I promise to make sure that they never hurt you, ever again. I promise to love you for as long as I live, and show you how a real family is supposed to treat you.” That was all it took for the floodgates to open, Sirius sobbed into your neck and you put your arms around him, running your hands through his hair, letting him cry out every bit of tear he held back till now. He hugged you tight as well as if he was afraid you were a figment of his imagination.

It took a couple of minutes, but Sirius finally calmed down. He mumbled something as he let you go, having not heard him you ask, “What was that love?”

“Marry me.”

You looked at him bewildered but also extremely happy. “God love, I planned out a big grand way to ask you. I was going to shower you red tulips, and chocolate. I wanted to give you the royal treatment, asking you to marry me in a way that would have people talking for decades to come,” he rambled on worried he was screwing up the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Sirius, just ask me,” you smiled.

Your encouragement gave him all his confidence back, he propped down on one knee and pulled out the small velvet box he kept in his pocket ever since he bought it. “(Y/F/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I have only known you for 7 years, but I feel like I have known you all my life. You changed my life for the better the moment you set foot into it. You push me to the best that I can be, and stop me from doing stupid things. You are a strong, beautiful, loyal, intelligent, and oh so much more. I love you more than words could ever explain. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, yet we emerged stronger and even more in love at the end. When I look at you I see my future, a bright and heavenly future. I promise to wake you up every day with a kiss. I promise to drown you with presents, and massages when you are pregnant with our children. I promise to do all the heavy-duty work once you give birth to our babies. I promise to love, provide and protect you and our future children with all I’ve got. Will you please, please make me the happiest, luckiest bloke on the planet and be my wife?”

You were in tears half- way through his proclamation of love. “This is such a stupid question,” you cry kneeling down to his eye level, “Of course I will marry you, Sirius.” If it were even possible the smile on his face got wider, and he leaned down taking your lips with his, in the most passionate kiss you two had ever shared.

“Wait till my parents find out, they’re going to be so happy,” you chuckled pushing your forehead to his.

Sirius wiped away the happy tears from your eyes, “Who says they didn’t know about this?” When you gave him a puzzled look he continues to say, “You didn’t think I would ask to marry you, without asking for your parents for your hand did you?”

“How did I get so lucky?” You responded.

“No love I’m the lucky one,” he stated kissing you once more. “It’s been a long day, let’s go to bed. I’m sure everyone will want to know the great news tomorrow.” With that, he leads you to your shared room, where you went to sleep as quite possibly the happiest woman on the planted wrapped in the arms of the love of your life.