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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

Brother to Brother (2004) dir. Rodney Evans

[Run Time- 1:31, Available- Amazon, Netflix, Language: English”

Summary: “A drama that looks back on the Harlem Renaissance from the perspective of an elderly, black writer who meets a gay teenager in a New York homeless shelter.” from IMDB

Cast: * Anthony Mackie as Perry * Roger Robinson as Bruce

___

God. You know what. I am really fucking glad that I decided to do this project. Because there are so many beautiful pieces of art out there that I never knew existed and it has been such a treat to experience them now.

I don’t know if y’all know this about me, but I am an absolute slut for beautiful prose, and this film is just plastered scene to scene with wonderful words. This film is poetry. Which makes sense because it centers heavily around Richard Bruce Nuget, and other famous authors and artists of the Harlem Renaissance: Zora Neale Hurston, Langston Hughes, and Wallace Thurman. This film is woven through with their words, their lives, their experiences. It was just…

It’s a reminder for me that I have a lot more reading to do.

Because, I’ll be honest, I haven’t read any of their work. I think in high school we were asked to read Their Eyes Were Watching God in my American Literature class, but we were asked to do so as an optional reading over a school break, so no one did it.

Brother to Brother just so beautifully unpacked the multiple layers of oppression that come from being Black and queer. There are so many conversations in this film about how Black gay men have historically been harmed by white communities for being Black, and by Black communities for being gay. This is not a film where much happens, the forward progression does not really exist. Instead the audience is taken on a journey through the past, to the life and times of the Harlem Renaissance.

I loved everything about this film. I loved that the memories were told in black and white, that they rooted us in the time. That Perry and Bruce could stand in a corner watching the scene unfold, imaging, remembering the life that existed in Harlem. That they could stand in this broken down home, abandoned and falling to pieces, and remember when it was real, and habitable.

A decent amount of this film takes place in the former home that Bruce lived in when he and the other famous writers were all living together in Harlem. In 2004, the house is in ruins, condemned, wood rotting, dust everywhere. And there is a moment near the end of the film where Perry sees a door beyond the stairway for the first time and he asks “what’s this door?” and Bruce responds “That was Langston’s room,” and I was just…struck by this weight. This is a film set, I know this, and yet I was just hit with the force of understanding that there are doors all over the world that important people, influential famous historical people slept behind.

And that includes the closet door.

Bruce Nuget was important for many reasons, but in case you don’t know anything about him, as I did not until like three hours ago, Bruce Nuget was one of the few publicly out gay men of the time. I cannot find much on his Wikipedia page about how he lived, but in Brother to Brother, Bruce is presented as a homeless man. Which, accurate to his actual life or not, was a very important detail for me. Because I have worked with unhoused people in the past, and they are people society so frequently disregards, and there are many assumptions placed on unhoused folk about their contributions to society. Homeless people are so frequently referred to and regarded as net negatives to society, and yet, I know people who are unhoused who graduated from fucking MIT, and who worked as nurses, and how are putting themselves through school right now. And please do not get me wrong here, homeless folk who do not have those types of accolades ascribed to them are just as important and vital to society and their community.

But to have this prominent, famous writer, painter, artist be unhoused both, in my mind, acts as a metaphor for the destruction that was wrought upon his life as he lost his friends one by one, and as the Harlem Renaissance disappeared in to the Great Depression. And it also serves as a reminder that fame and notoriety do not protect Black gay men. Perry says to Bruce something like “I can’t believe you’re homeless, a respected author of the Harlem Renaissance” and Bruce responds with “I was sleeping in hallways and rooftops then, what’s the difference now? Respected? You couldn’t write about being gay then.”

Queer people, queer culture, has always been driven and supported by the unhoused, by sex workers, by trans women of color. It is important that Bruce be homeless in this film. It is important for us to see how our society fails its citizens, especially intentionally.

As a white person myself, I am not certain I have a place to discuss in depth and detail the commentary in Brother to Brother around homophobia in the Black community that is constantly being referred to. So I’ll let the film speak for itself here:

“James Baldwin wasn’t tolerated. I mean, he was basically silenced because him being gay as a threat to the major leaders of the civil rights movement.” || “I didn’t even know James Baldwin was gay” ||“We’re talking about activism and political struggle, not what people do with their sex organs. If you like to take it up the ass- The majority of people at the time didn’t care that Baldwin was gay, That’s completely beside the point” || “This class is about Black political struggle” || “And what I have to say has nothing to do with that?”

“That anger you feel about white people is how brothers feel about me being gay” || “You know if you got in to any trouble, they still got your back.”

“I know about white men and black men, and I’ve been menaced by both.” || “That’s right, and the psychic distance between love and hate is the same as the physical distance between a smile and a sneer”

And since this syllabus is technically a build up towards BL, I want to mention briefly that some of these statements remind me a lot of the messages in The Eclipse. Because The Eclipse discusses as part of its main thesis that in order to keep the status quo, you can weaponize oppressed groups against their own people, or against other oppressed groups as a means of survival. Chadok is a gay man, and his authoritarianism is driven from trying to remain in a position of power. Akk is a gay teen, and he is being manipulated and brainwashed by a gay man in to enacting terrible deeds against other gay teens.

Similarly, Brother to Brother says: “blacks and queers were the vices that needed to be cleaned up to get the country back up on its feet,” which to me serves to unite Black people and queer people in a common struggle.

I also drew a parallel between the messages in Brother to Brother and the way that I have been engaging and discussing Only Friends, in a scene where Nuget, Hurston, Hughes, Thurman are discussing starting their literary magazine Fire!! comes the line:

“They have been so busy justifying their presence in a hostile, racist environment that they’ve ceased to be human beings. With the new magazine we will cease to look for respectability in the white person’s eyes. We will express the beauty and ugliness of our individual selves for ourselves. If anything is deemed disturbing or pornographic, then so much the better”

And it instantly made me think of the conversations I have been having around queerness and respectability politics/respectable promiscuity in Only Friends. I was thinking about my essays on queer culture, cruising, tearooms, etc. when I was watching a young Bruce Nuget get arrested for engaging in sex in a public bathroom. I was thinking about the Steven Barker photo I added to this post and the photobook it came from, when I was watching Wallace Thurman taking nude photos at a house party. I think Brother to Brother just so seamlessly integrates the realities of queer life in to its story.

For me, this is one of those “everyone should watch it” types of films. It was beautiful the whole way through.

For/By/About

Gay Trifecta!

Again, the for is a little tenuous, because I always feel like the race, disability, or class element in this unit’s films is what is supposed to be highlighted. But this is a story of a Black gay man learning from a Black gay man. And those two things are absolutely and inextricably linked. The way this film discusses homophobia, the way queerness is included and referenced, just feels like it is speaking to queer people.

Favorite Moment

This is really difficult. I think my favorite scene is this moment where Bruce is talking with a bartender friend of his about recognizing someone you barely know. He gives this beautiful line:

“...Their entire past and future flashes right before your eyes. And your heart starts beating faster, cause you know how hard their life’s gonna be. And it just tears you up inside. I just listened and stared at him. And I wanted to hold him. And I looked down at my hand and thought to myself, “Where’d this come from?” You ever think like that? Like, “What’s the hot piece of ass doing trapped in this old man’s body?””

Because there are a few other moments in this film where Bruce is thinking about the past, and he is always and constantly looking at himself as a young man. It is just this wonderful visual representation of adulthood, of aging, and of maintaining a spirit that burns forever young and passionate. And it is especially wonderful to watch, knowing that some of Bruce’s friends died so young. Knowing that by the time we meet Bruce in the present he is the only one remaining.

Favorite Quote

“I think Langston really taught me about kindness. Zora taught me how to listen, and Wally, he showed me how to use words like weapons and how to have fun with them. Actually, maybe I taught him that.”

This line is said by Bruce to Perry, and it is, for me, just an absolutely beautiful reminder that history lives right beside us. That these massively important, influential people, were just that…people. They were friends, they learned from each other, they partied, they fought, and they left this world some truly beautiful words.

Score

10/10

#queer cinema syllabus #queer media #brother to brother #brother to brother (2004)#lgbtq #queer #queer film

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 1 year

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When the Longing Returns (Phantom of the Opera, 2004 Fanfiction) || Erik x Christine

Ch. 2 Author's Notes

Read the Fic here on tumblr or on AO3

◇ Erik strove not to remember the surge of jealous rage that had overtaken him as he had watched the Chagny boy put his dolman around Christine and hold her as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Military fashion is not my area of expertise, but a dolman is the outer jacket part of the uniform that Raoul wears draped over his shoulder for the masquerade.

I can also tell you that it's a Hussar uniform.

Why is Raoul wearing a Hussar uniform when he's not apparently tied to the military in any meaningful way? No clue. Couldn't tell you, you'd have to ask Maria Bjørnsen.

Even more baffling is the fact that Raoul's uniform in the musical is based off of the 8th King’s Royal Irish Hussars. That's right, Raoul is wearing a British inspired Hussar uniform.

My best guess is this is a reference to the Raoul of the 1925 Lon Chaney film (played by Norman Kerry), who is the "Debonair lieutenant and Beau Brummel of the Second Chasseurs",

OR to Anatole Garron, one of the Raoul-type characters in the 1943 Claude Rains film (played by Nelson Eddy), who is also an opera singer, and who plays (I think) a Napoleonic Hussar of the 1st Regiment in the main opera set-piece of that film.

My best guess for an in-universe reason for Raoul to be wearing this uniform? Well, it is a costume ball, so ~shrugs~ it's just a costume?

Now at this point I'm sure the burning question on everyone's tongue is 'What is a Hussar or a Chasseur and what is the difference? '

Well, Hussars (Hussards in French) and Chasseurs (or, more properly Chasseurs á Cheval) were both light cavalry. The difference is that Chasseurs á Cheval were also expected to act as infantry if the situation called for it. Both Hussards and Chasseurs á Cheval had dolmans as part of their uniforms.

What I find quite funny about all of this though is the fact that in the book, Raoul is actually a sailor lad.

◇ "I will tell you all, Christine," his even tone trembling a little. "I only ask that you.... that you try to be gentle in your judgement of me."

Leroux Reference: Erik's History

Erik's whole backstory in this chapter is heavily adherent to Erik's life-story in the book as told in the Epilogue and the Persian's narrative.

Erik's birthplace of Rouen, his father's profession as a mason, his running away from home at "an early age"; his traveling to India, being discovered in Russia, being given immense power by the Shah, committing political assassinations, the "Little Sultana's" gladiatorial matches, the torture chamber, and of course the Daroga saving Erik's life from an order of execution following the completion of the trick box palace, are all detailed in the book, though of course I made some embellishments and alterations to fit Erik's characterization in the movie.

◇ "... and my mother [...] gave me a mask so that she would not have to..."

Leroux Reference: Chapter 13, "Apollo's Lyre"

"Why did you want to see me? Oh, Mad Christine, who wanted to see me! When my own father never saw me, and my mother gave me my first mask so that she would not have to!"

◇ "There was always a week in early August when she... was worse than usual... and I came to assume that these bouts must mark when I was born."

I don't put any stock in astrology in real life, but it is useful for choosing character birthdays.

Christine's generally agreed to be a Libra and that's about as bang on as you can get (though I could also see her as a February Pisces, if the Christine in question has the freaky energy of, say, Meredith Braun).

But Erik a character has about five signs that would suit him with equal perfection. He has the pride and flair for drama of a Leo, the aloof, ruthlessness of a Capricorn, the vicious sensuality of a Scorpio, the enigmatic, dark emotionality of a Cancer, and the violent passion of an Aries. How do you pick just one? I decided on Leo for Gerik specifically. Why? I can't say.

And if anyone is curious, Meg is a Sagittarius and Raoul is a Virgo.

◇ Her tears, warm and sweet, dripped onto his skin and trickled under his mask.

She, Christine, the true angel—who had sought after his kisses, when his own mother had never even tolerated them—she was weeping for his sake.

Her blessed tears mingled with his under his mask, and they flowed down to his lips.

Leroux Reference: Chapter 26, "The End of the Ghost's Love Story":

"And I fell at her feet, crying... and I kissed her feet... her little feet, crying [...] and she cried also... the angel cried!

[...]

"I felt her tears dropping onto my forehead--my forehead! They were warm, they were sweet! They flowed under my mask. Her tears! They mingled with my own tears in my eyes and they flowed into my mouth.... Ah! Her tears, on me!"

◇ Masonry, carpentry, joinery, metalwork; whatever I set my hands to seemed to come naturally, and so skilfully.

Carpentry and joinery, while both aspects of the woodworking trade, are separate skills. In this time period especially, carpentry referred to cutting and rough-work (including building construction), while joinery refers to assembly and fine-work.

◇ "I was brought down from Ninji-Novgorod, in Russia..."

Nowadays transliterated as "Nizhny Novgorod"; the sixth largest city in Russia, located on the Volga River in Western Russia. It is an important transport hub, as well as an economic and cultural centre, to this day.

◇ "as an entertainment for the Shah's favourite who was 'withering away' of boredom"

Leroux Reference: The "Little Sultana"

It was thus that his reputation reached the palace at Mazenderan, where the little Sultana was bored to death.

The "Little Sultana" is a vague but brutal female figure that is mentioned by both Erik and the Persian. In Leroux's epilogue she is called "The Shah's Favourite", almost certainly meaning a favourite wife or mistress. According to the Persian, she took delight in watching Erik kill prisoners in gladiatorial matches, and even persuaded him to teach her how to wield the Punjab lasso herself, using it to indiscriminately murder her own ladies in waiting, and occasionally even those of visiting friends.

M. Grant Kellermeyer speculates the "Little Sultana" to whom Leroux alludes to be based on Jeyran Khanom, the seventh wife of Nasser al din Shah, whom he first took as a mistress in around 1850 following a chance encounter during which he apparently fell in love with her on sight. One story of their meeting even asserts that she was one of his mother's servants.

Jeyran was a formidable figure, and enjoyed many masculine pursuits including hunting and shooting, and not even the Khanom (the Dowager) was able to dissuade Nasser from conferring her the title of Forough ol-Saltaneh, or from naming her son the crown prince (though this decision was stuck in political hell for years because of Jeyran's lack of influential bloodlines). She was the Shah's favourite wife until her early death in 1860 at the age of 29.

It's my feeling, however, that, though likely inspired by Jeyran (and also by her successor as the Shah's favourite, the even more formidable Anis al Dalweh, pictured below)

the "Little Sultana" is an entirely fictional character created by Leroux as a device to instil a deep sense of unease and horror in the reader; a monstrous young woman with bloodthirsty proclivities that stoked Erik's own growing disregard for human life at a time when he was particularly susceptible: best not to associate her too strongly with any real historical figure.

I was particularly eager to explore on this character, having recently read (and despised) Susan Kay's novel Phantom, in which this character is presented, not as the Shah's wife or mistress, but (rather incomprehensibly) as his mother.

◇ "By the time I had finished, the Shah had given me a nickname: 'Derb Mekhefa Met'eseb' which, roughly translated, means 'Trapdoor Lover'."

Leroux Reference: "Trap-Door Lover"

We have it from the Persian in Leroux's novel that this was a nickname of Erik's during the "Rosy hours of Mazenderan".

I have long wondered exactly what that would actually be in Persian. I determined that I wanted Erik to actually say it in the language, rather than just the translation, but reverse translating it has proven difficult. With no knowledge of Farsi as a language myself, I resorted to online language converters and translators, and this seems to be the best I can come up with. I believe it more accurately translates as "Hidden Door Fanatic", but I'm sure there are probably huge contextual problems with this attempt at translation. If anyone reading this speaks or has an understanding of Persian language, or knows someone who does who can give me a better translation, please let me know, I want this to be as authentic as possible.

◇'There, now! you are quite the Don Juan I would say. Any woman that ever saw you would be yours forever.

Leroux Reference: Chapter 13, "Apollo's Lyre"

This particularly cruel blow on Erik's self-esteem from the Shah was directly inspired by one of Erik's own comments during the aftermath of his Unmasking by Christine in the book (one of the most genuinely terrifying moments of the novel):

"He burst into a harsh, rumbling, powerful laughter, repeating the words: 'oh you women are so curious!' And then he said, 'Well, are you satisfied? I am a handsome fellow, eh? When a woman sees me, as you have, she becomes mine! She loves me forever! I am a kind of Don Juan in that way, you know!'"

This is the kind of line that sticks with you. This sarcastic comment is a horrible glimpse into just how deep Erik's self-loathing goes.

It occurred to me that, in my story, this may have been something the Shah might have sarcastically said to him that stuck with Erik, and inspired Erik's Don Juan comparison (and the work into which, as Leroux's Christine says, Erik "poured all of his bitter misery"). The betrayal of a tenuous, but much craved-for paternal figure would be deeply scarring to a young Erik, so it's little wonder he would try to turn the Shah's comment back on itself, to reclaim it.

◇"Daroga helped me to escape—I suppose in return for my once having saved his life—but on one condition. 'No more murders.'"

[...]

"I had never believed in making or keeping oaths and agreed to this one without much real intention of putting any stock in it."

Leroux Reference: Chapter 22, "Interesting and Instructive Vicissitudes of a Persian in the Cellars of the Paris Opera":

"Erik, you promised me: no more murders!"

"Have I really committed murders?" He asked, taking on his most amiable expression.

"Ah, you wretch!" I exclaimed. "Have you forgotten the Rosy Hours of Mazenderan?"

"Yes," he sighed. "I prefer to forget them, though I did make the little Sultana laugh."

[...]

"Erik... Erik swear to me..."

"What for?" he interrupted. "You know I never keep my oaths. Oaths are made for catching fools!"

◇ "I had returned to find the Opera Populaire under new management and it was not long before I observed that the new directors, Debienne and Poligny were far less competent than those who had advanced real talent and taste. Not unlike our present management,” he added under his breath. “In addition to that, I soon discovered that Poligny had, for some time, been defrauding Debienne in their private business ventures, among other... shall we say 'indiscretions'. I was fortunate to also discover that he was quite superstitious."

Book Characters!

Debienne and Poligny are the out-going managers of the Opera in the novel; their counterpart in the play would be M. Lefevre.

The lengthy timeline gave me some room to work. I figured Lefevre wouldn't have lasted a full thirteen years under the Opera Ghost's thumb, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to introduce these two as his predecessors.

Exactly what Erik was blackmailing Poligny over (because this detail is true to the book), is never explicitly stated, but it is implied to regard numerous proclivities, both moral and financial:

" 'Poligny was superstitious and Erik knew it. Erik also knew much about the public and private affairs of the opera.'

"When Poligny heard a mysterious voice whispering to him about the use he had made of both his time and his partner's confidence, he did not question it."

◇ "I worked by fits and starts, composing for weeks at a time during which I hardly ate or slept and lived only on my music."

Leroux Reference: Chapter 13, "Apollo's Lyre"

"I sometimes compose for fifteen days and nights together, during which I neither eat nor drink, and live only on music..."

Depeche Mode References, for those looking for them…

◇ “Did he have any choice but to go down on his knees and pray that she would have the strength to forgive all the things that he'd done?”

From "One Caress" off of Songs of Faith and Devotion:

"Well I'm down on my knees again

And I pray to the only one

Who has the strength to bear the pain

To forgive all the things that I've done"

◇ “A moment of silence as Erik gathered his thoughts, steeling himself against the heavy sense of trepidation that threatened, like a disease, to take hold of his tongue.

Doing his level best to shake it away, he said…”

From “Shake the Disease” off of Black Celebration (Deluxe Edition):

"Here is a plea, from my heart to you

Nobody knows me as well as you do

You know how hard it is for me

To shake the disease

That takes hold of my tongue

In situations like these"

#author's notes #phantom of the opera #poto #poto fanfiction #phantom of the opera fanfiction #poto fic #phan phic #erik x christine #christine x erik #eristine #erik/christine #e/c #poto e/c #gerik #erik the phantom #christine daae #poto 2004

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thatrickmcginnis · 1 year

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1987 Film Festival: Bruce Weber, Andy Minsker and Barbet Schroeder

1987 was far from the busiest year shooting portraits at the film festival - only three subjects over two shoots. I would, in coming years, have much busier festivals, but 1987 was always remembered as the year I photographed Bruce Weber. Weber was probably one of the most famous photographers in the world at this time, one of a trio of shooters (along with Herb Ritts and Matthew Rolston) who seemed to dominate fashion, advertising and editorial work in the U.S. and Europe. I found Weber the most interesting, mostly because of how avidly he embraced a retro style in his work - so many of his photos look like they could have been shot at any time between the '30s and the early '60s. He was at the film festival with his first feature film - Broken Noses, a documentary about a young boxer - and arrived with considerable notoriety, so much that I'm not sure how I ended up getting time with him for a session.

I shot with my Mamiya C330 TLR, and didn't give myself a safety net with a backup 35mm camera. Judging by the lighting I'd also finally invested in a light stand and an umbrella by now, though it was still being used to crudely fill the space with enough light to give me a decent f-stop. I was intimidated by Weber, though he was more than friendly and cooperative, and didn't try to stage direct the shoot as most other photographers will when they become the subject. Most of the frames project a wariness, though I did get one of his trademark million dollar smiles for a single shot.

Bruce Weber arrived at the film festival in 1987 with an entourage - a collection of attractive young people who looked like they were ready to be photographed at any moment. (One of them was Lisa Marie Smith, the statuesque model and actress who would later appear in Mars Attacks as the Martian seductress when she was the girlfriend of director Tim Burton.) Among them was Andy Minsker, the Golden Gloves championship boxer who was the star of Weber's film Broken Noses, and I made sure I included him in the session I did with Weber. He seemed a bit overwhelmed by it all, and I think my portraits seemed to capture this more than anything else. Minsker would retire from boxing with a shattered hand after 344 matches; by 2004 he was back in Oregon running his own car detailing shop, and in 2015 he was training young boxers.

My other shoot at the 1987 film festival was with director Barbet Schroeder, there to present his new film Barfly, a biopic about the writer Charles Bukowski starring Mickey Rourke and Faye Dunaway. A Swiss national born in Iran and raised in Colombia and France, Schroeder was a true cosmopolitan who made his reputation with films like La Vallee, General Idi Amin Dada: A Self Portrait and Koko: A Talking Gorilla, and would go on to direct Reversal of Fortune, Single White Female and Desperate Measures. I found him enigmatic, with an unsettlingly direct gaze, and whether by accident or plan I highlighted this by photographing him in front of a sunny window at the hotel, trying to achieve the clean, bright "high key" effect I'd seen in studio shots by serious photographers, which seemed a hallmark of real professionalism to me.

#bruce weber #andy minsker #barbet schroeder #portrait #portrait photography #photography #director #black and white #film photography #mamiya c330 #early work #some old pictures i took

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digestionsack · 2 years

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Franz Ferdinand on Mike’s Playlist—Y’all This is Too Funny, They Need to Stop

Okay, remember how in my Mike’s playlist analysis posts I said that “Be Afraid” by Franz Ferdinand stumped me? Yeah, so I revisited it today and…

Wow.

Okay.

So, first of all, I don’t know how I didn’t get this before, but even though there are barely any lyrics, saying that the lyrics foreshadow Mike getting Vecna’d isn’t too much of a stretch. Here they are:

“Don't be afraid if you hear voices/Feel the sweet air spoken upon you/Dream again/Sometimes the sound of a thousand whispers”

We’ve talked about this before, but I’ll rehash it in my own words for the sake of context. “Hearing voices” could easily align with the Vecna visions, “dream” is a motif we see used on the playlist that I am currently going through (almost finished!) to reference hallucinogenics (a metaphor for Vecna’s visions) and generally a theme of “things aren’t what they seem.”

So yeah, I’d say these lyrics foreshadow Mike’s eventual Vecnafication. However, it’s still kind of vague on what will be the result of that Vecnafication, and the fact that this song is so short…kind of wigs me out. I think death for S5 Mike is fairly likely, considering the lyrics I’ve analyzed on this playlist and the death tags you all have found. However, whether or not he’ll come back has been left kind of vague…freaky. I personally think that he will, but this still scares me.

I honestly should have stuck this right on the “Holy Shit” list—not because of the song, but because of the artist.

Well…sort of. When I first went back to revisit this song, I was only looking for the lyrics to THIS PARTICULAR SONG. And the lyrics did provide a lot of information. But the real meat of why this song choice is currently blowing my mind is not because of the lyrics, but because of the other songs the artist has created. Lemme give you a list. There are…several interesting ones.

“Lucid Dreams (2009)”

“Michael (2004)”

Miss me with that shit. Please.

Now, the fact that these songs are next to each other is due to alphabetization and not symbolic meaning left for Stranger Things fans, but I just think that little detail is neat.

And…HOW can we say that Franz Ferdinand having a song called “Michael” and then a song by that artist being on his playlist is a coincidence? Answer: WE CAN’T. BECAUSE IT’S NOT. And an artist who has also given us song name gems such as:

“Lucid Dreams”

“Always Ascending”

“Demagogue”

“Dream Again”

“Evil Eye”

And more.

Seriously? You expect me to believe that the creators didn’t see this? The Duffers? The Running-Up-That-Hill-can-be-abbreviated-to-RUTH-and-so-the-Nina-Project-will-be-in-Ruth-Nevada-and-the-fake-name-Nancy-uses-to-talk-to-Creel-right-before-she-and-Robin-realize-that-music-can-help-Max-will-be-Ruth-as-well Duffers?

Yeah. No.

BUT. FRIENDS. THIS ISN’T EVEN THE FUNNIEST PART.

“So,” you say, “there’s a song called ‘Michael.’ Interesting, but all in all, big whoop. Unless the lyrics say something interesting, we can’t really use this.”

DON’T WORRY, MY FRIENDS. INTERESTING LYRICS COMING YOUR WAY.

…sort of. The lyrics aren’t exactly too appropriate, and I don’t know where your guy’s comfort level is at, so I’ll just link them here. If you don’t feel comfortable reading the lyrics, here’s a summary from Wikipedia:

In short: It’s super gay.

Like, no beating around the bush here. No inexplicit subtext that can be twisted about. This song is almost SMALLTOWN BOY LEVELS OF GAY. (Although, that’s up to your personal opinion.)

Gee, guys, I just…*takes off tin foil hat to run hand through hair* I just don’t know. Am I crazy? Delusional? Loosing my marbles? I mean, could it just be a coincidence that the very last song of Mike’s playlist happened to be both foreshadowing his Vecnafication in S5 AND created by an artist that also had a song that literally shared his name that, objectively, reaches almost “Smalltown Boy” levels of gayness? Am I crazy? Or does this mean something…

You decide.

Again, at this point, someone may have pointed this out already. Like, probably back in 2017. I know I’m late to the playlist party. But this song is just way too much.

#byler #byler analysis #mike wheeler i know what you are

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drdemonprince · 2 years

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I spoke to my uncle yesterday for apparently the first time in twelve years. My dad’s brother, who went off to the UK with his british wife and his firstborn kid about a year after my dad disowned me, and a year before he died.

My uncle stopped speaking to my dad after my dad disowned me. My uncle says that my dad was always an asshole, and that he loved my dad, but he didn’t ever like him. And that then I was born... and I was wonderful, but then my dad just kept getting worse. my uncle says that when I was a kid I was always so worried. from age six or age seven onward, I was always worrying about the future and thinking about big existential questions. my beloved grandmother, jo, worried about me a lot because of that he says.

i had no idea. i only ever knew jo as the primary person in my world who could listen to me and talk to me about deep subjects, who could hold me when i cried about the thought of growing older and people dying. im so thankful that even if my anxieties made her uncomfortable or sad, she did not show it and never let me catch on that it worried her. she never made me feel broken for it. she just talked to me. and took me out on adventures. and cared. i have never ever been so held in someones attention and so loved. i talked with my uncle about how much i loved her. im glad you remember her, he said. she was a wonderful person, he continued, and my best friend.

we talked for a bit over two hours. it was nice. i didnt mean to fall out of contact with him. we messaged a few times over the years. but with the time difference and him raising his kids and everything i was getting into, time just flew by. he does not speak to me like im any younger than him. he is fifty now. fifty! my dad was fifty when he died. my uncle was always the young one, fifteen years between him and my dad. he was in high school when i was born.

my uncle and i are as close in age nearly as he was to my dad. my uncle was the first person i ever knew who got a graduate degree. made it seem possible for me. now he asks me for advice on how to get more writing done and to share resources with him about personal finance. it’s kind of lonely always being the most competent one. but he’s smart enough that he and i can have real conversations.

he says that often he reads my posts online and bristles at them, then walks away and thinks about them for a bit and then he agrees with them often, or at least they change how he thinks. it always means a lot to me when people do that. im a lot like my dad but thank god greg did not have access to posting, he says.

he says that if my dad had lived, he doubts that greg and i would have reconciled. he was too much of an asshole. the way he treated me was unforgiveable. my uncle stopped speaking to my dad forever because of the way my dad treated me. its so strange being the focal point of such a huge rift. one cruel voice mail and everything changed for so many people. my uncle might not have even moved to england if not for all that.

he is the only one left who holds any of these memories. my sister remembers nothing from before age 14 which is very disturbing and she is very emotionally shut down and claims to not think. my mom has some memories but she is hard to crack open, and the details you get are a mix of haunting and confused and lacking in insight. but my uncle thinks about things, he carries these ghosts in him like i do and he cant stop thinking and wondering.

my uncle says that when he was a kid, he was like me. always always worrying. he told my grandma jo not to worry about me, back when i was an anxious kid, he said that it’s okay for kids to think about the future and worry a lot. some of us are just like that. my uncle says his eldest child, fliss, the one who was born here in 2004, is a lot like me. she ruminates a ton and is brilliant and can be quite tortured. his younger son, quinn, is a lot like my sister staci. he is so relaxed as to be horizontal. he does not think deeply, he’s easygoing, what you see is what you get. fliss and i have started emailing back and forth sometimes. she gets on my nerves sometimes. shes very condescending like me. the bohannons. my dad and my grandfather and me and my grandmother and my uncle we all have a propensity to say things in the worst way. fliss too sometimes.

its good to reconnect. it was very easy to be genuine and relaxed around him. we were both very happy to be around one another. he always loved me a lot. if i had been 16 and my sibling had a kid im not sure i would have loved them as much or as actively as he loved me. but he loved me a lot and he loves me still and he isnt holding the current me to account for not being the sweet sensitive kid that i once was. though im sure a part of him thinks about how horrible my dad was and how that affected me and made me this. but i was never gonna be anything but this. my dad was who he was and he was never willing to get help. and i turned out pretty alright, just like my uncle did, despite everything that happened.

my uncle is getting divorced from nicola, his british wife who he moved to that country to be with. i always liked her. he says they just not tend to the relationship for too long and now its too late. i told him i just got divorced too. he understood and did not say that my situation is different and that i cant possibly understand. tho of course i did not have children or shared finances so there is much i cant understand.

he thought he would be able to move out of the house but the family finances are not quite there yet like he expected. he asked me to explain the student loan forgiveness to him because nicola qualifies for it. i did my best to break down how it would help them and how they can apply when the website to apply goes up. he asked for advice about writing. it is lonely always being the most competent one. no one is ever going to take care of me because i am the emperor and only i can be the emperor. some accident of genetics and timing and generational adaptation coalesced and gave me the exact combination of traits to be what i am, to be both recognizable as a part of this family and some totally different animal than most humans.

my uncle is starting a vending machine franchise. he thinks this will be it, the thing to help him get out of debt and allow him to quit his job and live more freely. he says he needs a fresh start. i can understand that. hes had a lot of ventures over the years. part time driving instructor. teacher. workshop leader. social worker.

he had a class to teach today, early in the british morning. he said i probably cannot understand because i have been teaching for a decade, but he only started a few years ago and he still gets nervous every day before his classes. i do understand. the first day of classes i always used to coat the toilets in nervous runny shits. not anymore though. now i can do a live debate with an npr interviewer and not feel anything, no pants on beneath the laptop zoom. i can shoot an in person keynote from the hip fresh off the airplane in front of hundreds or thousands of people with no prep. why am i like this. what am i. my dad always said he thought too quickly. there were too many thoughts in his head. i am the same way but i do things like this, writing, to deal with it.

i almost asked my uncle if he thinks my dad was bipolar but we didnt get to that subject. maybe next time ill ask.

i do hope my uncle is right about his new venture though and that it isnt a scam. i hope we speak again soon. it meant a lot to me. in him i see my dad and i see mimi jo and i see the kind of faggy straight teenaged boy who held me in photos of when i was a baby and watched horror movies with me when i was honestly a little too young for them but he flinched more than i did from the jumpscares and im grateful theres someone still around who remembers all that.

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homunculusalphonse · 3 years

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no for real pixar/disney's style is not unique anymore, every film nowadays just look the same. i don't know how to explain it, but in the older movies you could distinguish them?

yeah you could argue that they (mostly pixar) rarely worked with humans, but look at the incredibles. every single character is different, and that film is from 2004. as far as i'm concerned not even the minor characters are the same (except for the dudes from no man island but they were just dumb lackeys that murdered children y'know)

sure the animation itself might not hold up nowadays, but you can still watch the films and remember what every single one was about

i think up until wreck-it ralph it didn't have that "clean", polished and cute style. idk if this makes sense but let's compare ralph

[ID: wreck-it ralph in the first movie, and then him in the second /End ID]

they're making everything "softer" and rounder. ralph is supposed to be what, 75 years old but in the second movie he looks very visibly younger and "cuter". the whole point of ralph was that he looked scary but he wasn't threatening at all. the first movie conveys this well. in the second ralph is significantly stupider to appeal to "young dumb children" (ofc children are not stupid and don't deserve lackluster humor but moving on)

toy story 3 still had some look from the older movies imo, obviously more detailed than ts1 and 2, but it's not like in ts4 if this makes sense

[ID: woody from toy story as seen in the third movie, and the fourth movie. /End ID]

everything and everyone is just too soft and clean now. sure the animators are amazing at all the detail and lighting, good on them, and i don't mean like the characters are all the same face and body and shit... but everyone just looks clean even when some of them shouldn't be clean, y'know?

[ID: alberto and luca impressed /End ID]

luca at least tries to have a different look from the other pixar films, it's still soft but it's pretty stylized, it kinda gives me aardman vibes (like wallace and gromit). that's definitely one of the reasons why this movie is so good to me bc even if the story is simpler and shorter, luca is still a unique experience

i think encanto also tries to be unique, the female characters specifically are allowed to have different noses, thicker eyebrows and different haircuts (unlike frozen cough cough), but at the same time it's still... really soft and generic like their other recent films. they're claiming they're being more inclusive now with non-white cultures but it doesn't rlly help that they all have the same... vibe (sorry for the word usage). again, i'm not saying the characters look the same, but they look too clean even if they're supposed to have freckles or wrinkles or scars. to me encanto still looks like coco and moana even though they should be about different countries and cultures.

sure disney was never good with variety with female characters in 2d animation, but the thing that makes luca and the incredibles stand out is because the characters have exaggerated features and that makes them stand out from one another, and ofc i don't mean this as in offensive caricatures. the incredibles' whole style is about exaggeration and realism, they're cartoons but they're still realistic in some way. they're unique experiences that want to relate both to the imaginative and surreal world and the real world.

i think disney is too caught up on their idea of "realism" that they're not rlly trying to make their movies look different. i think that also explains the failure of the live action movies like aladdin and the lion king and cruella. they have fantastic details but they try too hard to be "realistic" that they make very superficial shit to get credit. the lion king is the biggest example of this problem, as none of the characters show any exaggerated expressions.

disney has always had this issue of softening everything but nowadays it just looks very notable and it's affecting other marginalized cultures, masked to be "representation"

#captain's log #ranting #long post #anti disney #racism mention tw

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streets-in-paradise · 2 years

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The Good Guy

American Horror Story:Hotel, Chucky and Supernatural crossover fanfiction - Part 2

Masterlist

Word Count 8.719

Characters (main): Andy Barclay, Cassandra/ Val ( AHS Hotel OC), James Patrick March. The Countess ( mentioned), Chucky (mentioned). There is also a short contextual appearance of Donovan and Iris.

Warnings: This includes references to some of the fictionalized versions of real life serial killers that this season of AHS portrayed in Devil’s Night. None of them show up as characters, but their passing by the hotel is mentioned.

Relationships: Platonical: James and Cassandra’s bond as father and daughter. Initial hints of development for her friendship with Andy.

Romantical: James March x Elizabeth “The Countess” (James’s one sided obsession with her), Donovan x The Countess, Donovan x Cassandra ( mentions to a past of unrequired love on her part.)

Summary: Andy follows the trail of Chucky to Los Angeles, dragged there by the news of mysterious deaths happening around the production of a horror movie. The search takes him to the Hotel Cortez, where he checks in following the stay of potential victims of the killer doll.

There he will find himself unwittingly trapped between the opposed interests of the hotel’s owner and his daughter in a new game being played over his free will.

Notes: In this I’m picking up the original concept for the first Child’s Play film regarding the doubts about Andy’s innocence and I made a little reference to the origins of Chucky’s full name.

Also, I’m in the process of rewatching Hotel. The last time i watched it was like in 2018, so I apologise in advance for any mistakes regarding details of the season’s plot. I do remembered the greek mythology references that James did on his speech in Devil’s Night and that was a great inspiration for this, March loving classic literature feels canon to me.

Tags: @mysticaldeanvoidhorse @losersclubisms ( I don’t know if you would want to be tagged, but i’m showing you this like a child who shows an ugly draw with excitement lol)

Hotel Cortez - 2004

Cassandra wasn't able to think of anything else because guilt wouldn't let her. That sharp feeling in her chest that she thought forgotten was striking again. An emotion meant for children in the world she lived in, if there was such a thing as childhood for any kid in that place. Growing up was embracing apathy, resigning to the triumph of evil. After all, who was she to expect otherwise? From all the macabre things populating that hotel, her existence was one of the most unholy. Like her brother, she could be judged as an abomination, an infernal experiment who shouldn't have existed. Many times she has heard that from the spirits of dead hunters who rejected her post mortem help, some of them after getting themselves killed for ignoring her advice.

Bartholomew didn't count with her same luck because he came before her, at a time where their parents weren't fully aware of the infinitive possibilities in the world of the occult. Death showed James the way, but it took decades for him to realize the unlimited potential of his power on that limited territorial space. He was a gatekeeper for Hell, everything he would desire would be granted as long as he would fulfill his task... and what he once wanted was another child. A girl, since he and his wife already had a boy. A princess for his castle, a little thing to play family with from time to time on the sporadic dinner visits of the Countess to him, a bridge between them to keep her close.

Self awareness wasn't his strength and he liked to face his eternal life as a ghost under the delusion of having a happy marriage with a vampire woman who actually despised him, but who also happened to love collecting children to satisfy the maternal desires in her. Hell granted his wish and he got her, a daughter given to him without conception. A witch, her special nature making her irresistible for the mother to grow fond of due to the peculiarity she represented among her children. Their marriage was broken beyond repair, but sharing her gave James an illusion of improvement that was close to happiness.

Despite everything, Cassandra still loved her family and that was the most twisted aspect of her situation. The differences in her nature were the primary factor creating a distance between their ways and hers. Living there was hard for someone with her gifts, it implied a sharper perception of the darkness surrounding them. She learned to block to some extent the suffering of the prisoner spirits only after years of hard work with a very powerful witch that was consulted to help her talents flourish. However, that differential sensitivity experimented during a good chunk of her life setted a precedent in her personality. For as much as she would wish to block it as well, she developed empathy.

Then more than ever, it was biting her in the ass.

The Cortez was receiving a new special guest, another unlucky bastard who checked in without knowing that he would be selected to become James' new project. His obsession continued after death and his primary hobby was manipulating chosen targets into the making of a serial killer capable of following his legacy and finishing his unconcluded work. He never pushed it on her, he didn’t feel like doing it because her existence fulfilled a different need. Besides, getting to see the development of her particular talents was enough to make him proud of her as a parent.

Over the years, Cassandra observed many individuals come and go from the cursed corridor leading to room 64, most of them not remarkable enough to reach fame because only the worst of the worst would hit the headlines. With her name as fate, she pointlessly tried to warn many of them about the manipulations they would be being submitted to, as she also would do later for their victims about to be killed when there was no more hope on that front. Her words would inevitably fall on deaf ears and she would remain as a powerless observant of people running with excitement to their own demises. James liked to see it as a game to play with her, a way of bonding. In his point of view, it was a strategic game of influence. His lovely girl represented good while he was evil, both playing for the souls of selected mortals like a delightfully offensive biblical parody. He loved it, the minor challenge created by her irruptions made things more exciting. Being the caring father he considered himself to be, he was always there to comfort her on each defeat. The results were mostly in his favor, victories for her were extremely rare.

Two years before, after the death of Aileen Wournos, she decided to drop it out of inconmensurable hopelessness. That woman wasn’t one of the persons she tried to warn, she was too little at the time of her stay. However, perhaps because she was the only woman in that elite group of killers and she had vague memories about her that were rather depressing, her case had an emotional impact on her.

The warnings to the living stopped, she began to focus more in blocking the mourning spirits instead of helping. After two full years of staying at margin she believed herself ready to embrace apathy, to become careless once and for all.

Until he checked in to wake her up of her delusion.

The new guest was a sweet,shy man named Andy. They were around the same age, both being in their early twenties, and she felt an immediate connection with him.

Unfortunately, James picked him for himself on the spot.

A short peek into the room confirmed for him that he arrived armed to the teeth. The lack of any magical protection tokens disqualified him as a hunter, so he guessed that the young man was a killer of his own kind preparing his spree. James was very excited, but his daughter disagreed with the choice regardless of the evidence. Andy was quiet and sometimes even a bit awkward, but he wasn't Jeffrey Dahmer.

There was no depravity on him, no repression of obscure desires of a similar kind. He was sad, living in fear, and his darkness was closer to a depressing paranoia. Her readings of him pointed him as the survivor of some tragedy and her personal guess was locating it in his childhood. He had the blatant lack of security of someone who never got to feel sheltered and safe, who never got to be a child.

In the course of his days there, she began to become obsessed with him. He was a good person, a kind man in an unbearable amount of emotional pain that he wouldn't or couldn't share with anybody. Imagining what her father would make of him became intolerable to her and she was feeling the inmintent urge of protecting him.

Guilt and a tenue light of renovated hopes forced her back on the game. She liked Andy with his sweet awkwardness and his kindness making her feel good in his company at every little meeting they would get.

Even if he wouldn't listen, she was going to warn him.

It was past midnight, the worst hour of the place was getting closer and she had to find him before some horrible vision could disturb him. On the search she accidentally stumbled across Donovan. A mistake of the rush, since she usually tried to avoid him as much as possible because she didn't want more troubles. Things weren't at their best with her mother and it was partially because of him.

She wished he could just pretend he didn’t catch her, but he wasn’t going to let things go that way.

“ For how long are you going to keep ignoring me? It’s getting boring, Cass.“ He commented, cutting her any route of escape for that talk as he began to walk beside her.

" I have time to get over it, but that doesn't mean that I'm forgiving you. " She replicated, forcing eye contact for an instant just to prove that she was perfectly able to stare back at him." You humiliated me. "

His expression had a certain amount of disbelief.

" It was a natural reaction, I was surprised." He excused himself. " I'm curious... Did you really think that you could have had a chance with me? Did I actually break your heart, is that why you ignore me? "

" You are still alive because I allowed it, dad wanted you dead. " She clarified, reconquering her pride. " I told him that it would be pointless. You aren't worth the pain, you are already dead and ready to stay here for an eternity. Turning you into a ghost only changes your species, but you would be the same asshole."

" Are you a daddy's girl now? Is that why you changed me for that loser?” Donovan teased, mocking her weird obsession with Andy. " It's so sad, you must be so full of spite to do that. I don't want to give you hopes for saying this, but you are too pretty for him. You will never be The Countess, but that doesn't have to push you into looking so beneath your league. "

Cassandra didn’t care to dissimulate her annoyance and proceeded to cut him off.

" You are ríght, I will never be her. I found you interesting because I used to think that you were something more than a vain,entitled manchild. She knows who you are and wants you like that." She snarked back with satisfaction. " ... Goodnight, happy hunt. Take care of those fangs and try not to stink of blood afterwards. "

She was going to follow her intended path, but one last snark of his stopped her tracks.

" You say that I'm the manchild, but he is the one who came here to pick up his toys. "

" What the hell are you talking about?"

" Your good guy is too messed up in the head. " He explained, almost laughing at his own punchline. " I catched him stalking those guys from the studio like a total creep. What's your deal with him? Did you have a massive standard drop after I rejected you? It's frankly offensive to see you moving on from me to that freak. March's newest creep, seriously? And he is not even cute, you could have replaced me with someone who fills my shoes. "

" I don't owe you any explanations. If you think that the only reason someone can have to care for anyone else is that, then that is your problem and I'm the one who should feel sorry for you. It's not my fault if she taught you that when she rescued you.” Cassandra concluded, letting go for the first time an impression of a point that she knew that could hurt him. " I do think that Andy is cute, by the way. He may not be a model looking dude like you, but he doesn't need it. He has his own thing going on, very cute."

" He is a ridículous nutjob. Hasn't he told you yet that killer doll bullshit he has been saying to everyone? "

He didn’t, but she had already heard commentaries about it coming from the ones who got to hear him. She even catched him once talking about it with Liz at the bar and switching the topic the moment they saw her. Knowing that it bothered her, Liz tried to cheer her up that time claiming that he wasn’t comfortable with telling her about it because she must have been the only person in the hotel whose opinion he cared about enough to worry about sounding crazy.

" The guys he creeped? He told them that Chucky was going to kill them because of some movie their studio was making. By the way: Chucky is a doll.” Donovan continued, understanding her silence as a need for context explanation.” He asked every single alive and dead person of the staff if they may have seen it, he even came to me doing warnings of the great danger he thinks we are all facing. The stupid asshole thinks that the doll is doing the killing here!!!"

Strong chuckles coming out of him forced the telling to be interrupted for an instant.

" ... A freaking doll!! It's hilarious, we all should thank March for picking one of the funny weirdos this time. "

She didn't find it funny.

" You are a vampire, I'm a witch, we live among an infestation of ghosts, we are ruled by one and do I have to mention the Addiction Demon? How can anything sound crazy to you? " She complained. " Andy is a mortal trying to make sense with this cursed place, he will evocate for it the craziest things. Don't be a dick just because I don't find reasons to be skeptical. Many forms of magic use dolls, voodoo being the most known of the list."

" C'mon, nobody can take him seriously! Can you imagine it? Chucky, a little doll with his little feet and tiny hands chasing someone down the hallway? Holding a knife? Strangling someone? It's a fucking joke. "

“ What is your explanation then?”

" He has been killing for years, but he isn’t conscious of it and March is going to wake him up. I wouldn't grow fond of him if I were you. "

It was a warning out of kindness, his way of proposing a truce, but Cassandra prefered to believe in her own self imagined theory. It was easier for her to imagine Andy as the víctim of some voodoo curse than thinking that he could be yet another serial killer with an alter ego symbolizing childhood. Chucky the doll couldn’t be another Pogo the clown, there had to be another explanation.

The descriptions that Donovan made didn't disencourage her. Killer doll thing aside, Andy's heroic behavior was indisputable. His first instinct to the perceptions of the paranormal activity surrounding them was wanting to help people, warning them of the danger. Reckless, but incredibly kind hearted. That was who Andy was, a clumsy but well intentioned guy whose will to help could often surpass his preservation instinct.

A genuinely good person, the rare kind that was worth fighting for.

After a moderately desperate search, she found him in the corridor that led to his room and he was a mess. Sat on the floor with his back against the door, he was crying out of impotence and confusion.

" No,no,no.." She rushed to comfort him, sitting beside him and not minding for anything else. " Darling, what's wrong?"

Andy replied without daring to look at her.

" It doesn't matter, you wouldn't believe me. No one does. "

The resignation in his tone as he tried to control the sobbing in her presence hitted her hard. She had been there before.

" Don't say that, lovely. I will, if you tell me. I promise. "

The softness of her voice and the real caring that was easily perceptible in her were tempting him to do it, but he was afraid of being open and honest with her.

" You will leave if i tell you, it wouldn't be the first time that happens. "

He still refused to look at her and she began to stroke his hair in a calming way.

" What if I tell you that I can see things that most people can't?" She wondered in an affirmation, with sweet excitement. " I have been called crazy before, I can tell many things that you wouldn't believe. "

Andy remained silent for an instant before feeling the courage to talk.

" I heard screams, followed the sound and there was this man... He was stabbed everywhere, bleeding out in front of me and then .. he was gone. "

The disturbed emotions dificulted the telling, but she had a vague idea of what he saw. An echo, ghost trapped in the infinite repetition of the moment of death. The description made her think that he could be one of the main sacrifices of Devil's Night. Dying in such horrible and confusing circumstances often turned them into the most confused spirits of the place.

"People always come to die here, that's not something we can stop. This place can not be destroyed,only closed, but a power greater than us needs it open. The man you saw could have died years ago. " She tried to explain to him without alarming him even more. " Most hotels are haunted in some way. Some more, some less. I have struggled with horrible visions my whole life. It ruined my childhood. "

Andy dared to shyly look at her and she smiled for him. It was her way to show him that she was fine.

That time, he was who felt called out in her sayings.

" Do you believe in ghosts?" He asked, a vague startpoint to check if the feeling that he was getting from her was correct.

" Of course, there are good ghosts and bad ones. Spirits used to be people, their world is as diverse and complex as humanity."

" How about when a serial killer dies?"

The opportune question was on point for the warnings that she initially intended to give him. She felt as if he would have read her mind and replied with clear thoughts she had about her father and his friends, the merryly cursed group that Andy was about to be guided into joining.

" The ones bringing death to others are usually the most terrified about their own deaths. It's tables turning, karma or whatever. The only thing that scares them more than death is the police arriving."

He let go a little chuckle, cute despite the context. It was like both knew more about the topic than what they were willing to confess to each other.

" So, you believe that those can choose to stay because they like to keep hurting people. "

" Because they are scared. " She corrected him. " Even the most disorganized are creatures of habit, but death shakes everything they knew before. It equates them with their victims, reminds them that they are human. Plenty of serial killers enjoy believing themselves above the rest of humankind, they think that they are stronger because they dared to break the barriers that civilized morals establish for what is human. Death leaves them in the same hopeless condition of the people they killed, strips them from clinging to that delusion. It's the moment of truth and not all of them can take it. "

He was watching and listening to her in awe. With each answer he felt a bit closer to his first chance of being understood without proof. His hopes were being nurtured as hers.

" Are you a medium, a True Crime researcher or what?"

" Neither of both things,something in the middle. I know way too much about dead seríal killers to not be called crazy. " She pointed out, teasing her own confession. " Also about a few who are still alive, but we are occupying ourselves with the dead ones now.. Dead serial killers and their smart haunting mechanisms to avoid facing their final judgements."

" Like, for instance... Possessing a doll ?" He asked what he meant as an affirmation, excitement changing his semblant to the possibility of finding someone who could believe in him. " Do you think that can be a thing?"

" ... Or possessing entire buildings, like this hotel. " She added, fearing afterwards for the awkward switch. " ... But yeah, dolls too. Why not? The dark spirit can be a minimalist. "

At that point, everything encouraged him to continue.

" Do you believe in magic? Not card tricks, witchcraft. "

" Yes, I do. " The witch innocently confirmed, still not ready to come out to him as what she was. " Do you want to know something more? I believe that there is a fascinating and dangerous correlation between serial killers and magic. "

" No way!!! Really? " He exclaimed with evident enthusiasm. " Please, explain it."

"The majority don't accomplish shit, but lots of them fantasize about controlling some form of mystical power. I guess it is part of their delusion of being exceptional. There are tons of examples: Richard Ramírez and his obsession with satanism, Jeffrey Dahmer and the zombies. He used the means of a mad scientist, but the ends were essentially magical. What he would have needed to fulfill his twisted dream was some good old voodoo or greek necromancy. Things would have been far worse then. It's terrifying, thinking about what a maniac can do with the ríght book. “

" It’s horrible. " Andy followed her, the validation obtained on their talk was priceless. It was more than what he ever expected.

" Did you come across one, Andy? A maniac who found the ríght book? Is that what you hope to find here? "

He gave her an avoidant reply,

" What do you know about voodoo?"

" Not much, but I can start researching for you."

They remained silent, subtly staring at each other before bursting into laughter. Incontrolable chuckles shared in the non addressed happiness of being listened to. Out of sudden, Cassandra huged Andy as if they would have known each other for a lifetime. He didn't see it coming, but allowed it because it felt nice.

The support of a stranger who wouldn't have any reasons to believe them was precisely what both weren't expecting to find on each other. His truth isolated him from anyone new he would try to approach, while she remained somewhat in service of the hotel because she could only share hers with the perpetual residents.

Where else would she feel understood, if the only life she knew was there? Who would want to be with her, if the only connections she had could be counted among the obscure creatures of the hotel? She believed for so long that there was nothing left for her outside, only loneliness and eventual death by the hands of some hunter that would get to her with ease without the dark protection of the Cortez over her. The moments of connection felt with someone from the outside were enough to reanimate the questioning, to make her doubt everything.

The exactitude she had in the following of his trail of thoughts weirded Andy a little bit, but he was more amazed than scared. He had spoken with tons of other unaware people before, but that never happened. She proved not only to be willing to believe him, but also formulated a correct theory by herself. Was she more aware than what he believed her to be or simply crazier than average? In any way, he was feeling grateful for the non asked support found so atypically.

The blissful moment ended with an interruption.

" Get up, sunshine. You have work to do, if you still want it. Room 37." Iris told the girl, ignoring the context with certain disgust.

Cassandra stared back at her to show that she understood the true meaning of her ask.

After that, her attention was back on Andy.

" I loved to have this talk with you. " She softly told him. " Not many people would bother to listen to me, my ideas are too strange for most. They don't get that living here for so long is what shapes them. Experience teaches you to keep an open mind everyday if you live here long enough. "

Andy gave her an awkward smile while he clumsily stood up at the same time she did.

" Rich people are too skeptical, I guess. " Was all he could manage to answer. " It was great, thank you..."

" ... Cassandra. " She finished, reminding him of her name because he was getting nervous. Probably ashamed while watched over by Iris, who seemed to be surveilling their interaction with tattling interest. " You are welcome, Andy. Sweet dreams, you need to rest. If someone or something bothers you let me know. Don't be afraid of coming to me. It doesn't matter how crazy it would sound to you, I will believe you. "

He avoided her glance before replying.

" ... I will. Thank you, Cassandra. "

She gave him a kiss on the cheek as part of her goodbye before following the very impatient woman. Andy watched her from afar, still struggling to process what happened, and returned to his room.

What he found there almost ruined his mood because of the off putting weirdness. There was a man in front of his improvised desk, sitting on his chair and reading all his gathered information about Chucky. Notes,newspaper articles from past murders and the current ones he was trying to connect to him, some very few police reports he accomplished to get. He was calmly revisiting everything as if he intended to do the work for him, like if they were in some sort of partnership.

They had met before, a very polite man of high status who used to frequently stumble across him. They would even involve in some talking every time because he was just that much friendly and eccentric.

He had no idea how the man of strange accent and vintage clothes entered his room.

" Andrew!!" He saluted him with his usual formal cordiality, abandoning his readings. " I took some liberties to check on your efficiently cataloged work. I hope you don't mind my intromission, dear boy."

"... I would like to know who gave you my key."

The recrimination didn't bother him in the slightest.

" Nonsensical details distracting you from the truly important matters. " He simply replicated. " I must say I found this fascinating except for just one aspect: the signature. It's bizarre, reputation damaging. We will have to start working on finding something better for you, more frightening and mature than those hideous dolls. It was understandable for your developmental years, but It isn't functional anymore."

"... That is private, you weren't supposed to read it. " Andy complained, trying to dissimulate his annoyance and the lack of understanding he had over most things coming out of him.

" Is this Charles Lee Ray your lifetime's inspiration? You seem quite obsessed with him." He casually wondered. " The Lakeshore Strangler was frankly mediocre. Over the same decade he was completely outshined by the Night Stalker. I understand that he operated in your home city, but he is unworthy of your devotion. There are greater things in your future, you will triumph where he failed!"

Andy couldn't or didn't want to understand what he meant, so he limitated que to thank what he interpreted as aware encouragement.

" Taking him down is all I have wanted since I was six. " He explained as part of his attempt to make him head out of the room. " I appreciate your good intentions, Mr March, but I don't feel comfortable allowing others to get involved. I work alone."

His listener interpreted his words equally wrong.

" Only six years old.... Astonishingly young!!” James commented, marveled. " You are a prodigy, It would be my pleasure to guide you in a complete exploration of your potential."

He almost forgot how fed up with that place he was. All Andy needed to do was wait until Chucky would show up to kill the guests from the studio that intended to make a movie about him, but it was taking more time than all the previous deaths surrounding the production.

No signs of him, but an imminent feeling of constant danger caused by the impression of being surveilled. Chucky could be everywhere or nowhere and he had no way to know. Despite what Cassandra told him about the shade of a man he tried to help, the stabwounds said otherwise to him. She may have seen a lot of ghosts, but she didn't know Chucky like he did. The thought of his very much hated old plastic buddy coming to get her became unbearable to him.

" If you want to help me, keep an eye on Cassandra. The Countess doesn't seem that worried about her daughter, but if you are an old time resident, she must trust you." He asked, unaware of being talking with her father. " Keep her safe, it wouldn't look good if I do it. I would come to her as a stalker and she wouldn't trust me anymore. Make sure she is okay, it is important. She has been so sweet to me, if anything happens to her..."

" That girl is the light in my eyes, I love her as much as I love her mother. " March clarified, slightly pleased to hear him praise her. " Count with it, there is no need for your heroism. Not at least in the current sense of the word. "

Andy was feeling progressively more confused.

" I'm not a hero. "

" Yet, you are not, but you will be." James introduced another one of his philosophical rambles about literarian iconography. " Do you know what being a hero used to mean before cristian knights and saints co-opted that term? ... Exceptional, remarkable, a conception disprovisted of any moral valoration. A hero used to be anyone who dared to perform acts beyond mortality. A man beyond humanity, not a holy man.”

" I appreciate whatever you think you are doing, but I don't care. "

" I'm trying to teach you a valuable lesson. " March insisted. " Think, for instance, of the classical heroes. Each one of them formed a reputation through certain abilities and an específic code of conduct that implied the committing of inhumane crimes. Achilles was the fastest and most brutal, known for the horrendous malice of his vengeance over the corpse of Hector. Odysseus was the most intelligent, his mind plannified the prolific genocide of the trojans. Heracles was the strongest, but he was also known for being the murderer of his entire family. Then we have the House of Atreus: child sacrifices, antropofagy, incest and parricide."

" I don't see your point, sorry. " Andy cutted him off, visibly tired and confused.

" Villains were an invention of cristians, being a hero used to mean becoming able to perform acts against nature. Exceed the limits of humanity and be worshiped or feared in the memory of the people. To leave your mark in history, become a legend. " James concluded the explanation. " You are not like everyone else, Andrew. Your exceptionality isolates you because you are not meant to belong among them. Fame, glory and immortality is what awaits those who are brave enough to leave humanity behind. "

The intricate speeches weren't feeling good to him, he got the sense that something was wrong. Even if the girl didn't get to make her warning, she helped him to spot a manipulation tactic. March was repeating what Cassandra said about the hopes and fears of serial killers. Andy didn't guess ríght away to be in the presence of one, but the resonation of words kept him alert. He understood vaguely that she was subtly warning him not to trust in that man.

He believed in her. If Iris wouldn't have pulled her away, she may have seen it herself.

She headed to do what she was told to, but she would have prefered to receive the news from Liz. Talking in the way with Donovan's mother was awkward, especially because she had her own interpretation of what she saw.

" You have been very busy with that boy lately. " She pretended very badly to comment casually. " It's a good move. Dono will value what you had if he sees you with someone else. It's a shame that you two aren't close anymore, you were his best friend here."

Cassandra avoided answering in order to watch over her own energies for the tasks she had to do.

Unfortunately, Iris saw it as encouragement to keep insisting. Using a particularly complicit tone in that next try.

" I know how you feel for him. The Countess is just using him, but you love him. Maybe he would miss your love if we make him believe that someone else has it. "

The young witch was trying hard to keep the emotional balance, but the woman made her too angry.

" Of course, it was you !!! Who else would be eating his brain with that crap?? Stop, Iris. I'm not spending time with Andy to make Donovan jealous."

...But it would be a good idea if you would, a mother knows. He will make it look like he doesn't care, but he will be upset. "

" You don't do what he did to me to someone you care about. “ She tried to explain to her. “He was in all his ríght to reject me when he found out, but he chose to do it in the cruelest and most humilliating way. Whatever I thought I felt, he killed it. That compulsive need to prove his loyalty to my mother was more important to him than showing basic care for me at the time of breaking my heart. "

" I'm sure he didn't mean it, maybe he wasn't thinking about it. "

" You don't understand. I never expected him to reciprocate, I knew he would never be mine and I was fine with being his friend. All I would have expected of him when finding out my feelings was a softer reaction. I wanted him to let me know of the obvious without hurting me: a shoulder to cry on, a nice speech saying that he didn't feel the same but still loved me as a friend... Anything but what he actually did. He laughed at me, Iris, and the entire hotel found out. I felt like the most worthless piece of trash, I don't know what would have been of me if it wasn't for Liz."

" Where was your mother in all of this?"

" That is not the point. I was so wrecked that I ended up listening romantical advice from dad... Do you know how terrible his advice is? He tries so hard and i love him, but he thinks that murder is a viable solution for everything. "

" Thank God that you don't follow his criteria. " Iris commented, with relief. " Isn't he...?"

" Planning the murder of Donovan? " The girl followed her. " Nah, we got a better idea. I will be practicing my most witchy cackle for when mom would eventually dump him. When he will be destroyed by the heartbreak I will get my revenge. Dad called it ‘ the way of Paris and Oenone’. The question may be how many decades it will take, so we started making bets. "

" That heartless bitch is unbelievable... What kind of mother chooses her vanity over the happiness of her child?" Iris kept ranting, deviating the conversation into her object of hate. " It even feels like she enjoys having won the competition against her twenty years old daughter. "

" It was never a competition because I never tried to compare myself with her. " Cassandra clarified. " Stop excusing him. We all know that she is a bit of a bitch who loves to generate irresponsible emotional dependency on others, but Donovan had the choice of not being a jackass. Trying to manipulate me against my mother as if I wouldn't know who she is will not help you. "

" I want to help because I believe he is too blind to see that he could be happier with you."

" You are deceiving yourself because you think that Donovan could fall for me and the effect of what you perceive as my good influence over him would help your cause. " Cassandra cutted her off. " You blame my mother for your problems, you think that if we get together he is going to suddenly see you as the best mother on earth. That is not going to happen, don't force it because you are making things worse. "

" I want the best for both of you. You are a sweet girl who has loved him for years, such a devoted daughter to your mother and that bitch abuses of the gift that you are. "

" Iris, I'm not what Donovan wants. In any case, I'm the daughter in law that you want. " She kindly tried to explain to her. " It's flattering, it shows that you appreciate me in some way, but it's going to lead nowhere. Please, just... Stop. "

In a more sensitive approach to what would correspond to Iris’ intrusive attitude, Cassandra finished the clarification by holding her hand in a calming way. Her intention was to show her that, even when she sounded angry, she was able to understand the root of her frustrations and wasn’t truly upset with her. All she needed was for her to see that her attempts of helping were creating more damage, she didn't want to make her feel bad about the unresolved tensions with her son.

After that, the girl proceeded to make her point.

“ Andy has only one picture on his nightstand and it is of his mom, Miss Evers saw it and asked him about it. You should have seen how radiantly happy she was when she came to tell me her findings.“ She commented pretending the same casual approach Iris faked with her but making it on purpose for her to notice the irony. “ From what I could figure out from her, his mother raised him alone. She must have faced the struggles you had in your time. This boy’s childhood wasn’t easy, something or someone back then broke him in a way I can't still deduce. He still loves his momma and doesn't blame her for the tragedies in his life.”

Iris wasn’t adding any remarks, imagining the blatant adoration the maid ghost must have imprinted in the tale. In life she had been another lonely mother in a judgemental time, but her luck was worse than hers because she was doomed to eternally mourn a lost child who was killed by a sadistic kidnapper. If the implications of the anecdote were right, talking with that boy must have been a sweet comfort for her as the troubled soul she was.

“ I tell you this not because I want to guilt trip you, but to help you see why Andy matters so much to me. “ The girl concluded. “ He is a good guy, I can’t give up and let my father destroy all the goodness in him. “

They reached the hallway leading to her destination in peaceful silence, no more words were needed in order to find a mutual understandment. Only while standing in front of the indicated door Iris spoke again in a reminder for her to be careful in the approach of the matter that needed her. It was a moderate spiritual cleanse of the room after a murder, something she would do because purification rituals were impossible to practice there. Her attempt of making a kind reception for new ghosts, to help them come out of their initial lethargy in a less violent awakening under her guidance.

After that, she was ready to spend the night awake digging in her humbly self built magical library trying to find the right reference to put together the puzzle that Andy brought her with his question. Voodoo and dolls were the main clues, but she was a bit lost about the part including the serial killer ghost. The only use of dolls in voodoo that she was aware of wasn’t fitting with the vague description she got from him. It would make sense as a method to kill victims without leaving evidence, but she never heard of techniques for doll possession in the soul transferring sense. That was more proper of a haunting, an inaccurate word that could be somewhat used to describe how James stayed in the hotel after his suicide. There were many non specified details that wouldn’t allow her a clear comprehension of the case: In which degree was the possession manifesting? Was the doll a conduct like Annabelle,the possessed Raggedy Ann doll once claimed to be the tool of a demon? Was he an animated object providing a lifeful body for his occupant, what in the slang of exorcists would be called a ‘vessel’? Turning a lifeless object into one would surely require particular magical assistance to work while regular hauntings didn’t take more than anger or confusion. The ‘how?’ in that theory was the part driving her insane.

Answers weren’t easy to find, but she wasn’t giving up. With the puzzle solved Andy would have no option but to share the whole truth and then he would connect some missing dots for her. They needed to get there and she needed to put in the effort if she wanted to make him trust her for real, because he wasn’t going to raise his walls easily. The creativity to come up with a solution was there, but trying to find anything useful was a nightmare. All she had about voodoo were vague references in texts that weren’t about the topic. From all the infinite forms of magic that she could be reading about, Andy asked her about one of the most hermetic circles of witchcraft existing in the country. Even satanism was easier to research without access to the right people. She was getting frustrated and unexpected intromission made it worse.

Her father, deck of cards in hand, appeared as if he would be inviting her to give up.

“ Your disturbed humor is making me sad.” James commented, concern in his voice and a genuinely loveful tone. “ Don’t waste more of your time, my dear. There will always be another one for you to claim and this amount of involvement you are delivering is hurting us both. We can play plenty of other games together: Chess, cards … Would you join me for a hand? “

She raised her head, abandoning her reading to stare at him with annoyed disbelief.

“ I’m not in the mood for cards, dad. This isn’t a game anymore. Not for me, at least.” Was her strongly determined reply. “ He will never be yours, I’m not going to allow it. I will get him out of here even if that means I will have to carry him out myself.”

James was mixing the cards with a playful attitude while standing close to her desk. He wanted to make her feel better, prepare her for what he saw as a crushing defeat with possibilities of getting her hurted. She let it get personal to a dangerous limit, her care for that boy wasn’t a simple humanistic reaction.

Emotional attachment, a terrible mistake.

“ Something has changed in you. I’m not blind to your misadventures, but never before you reached such desperation to protect any of my chosen ones. There is no amusement for me in your pain and you shouldn’t be suffering for this young lad. He may be gifted, but he is unworthy of you. Your fates will never tangle: Andrew is a nobody and you are my daughter. From darkness you were made for me to become my joy and I'm not willing to let him steal you away from me.”

It shouldn’t have surprised her to find out that he reached the same conclusion Iris did, because as a parent he adored her in an overwhelming way.

“ I’m not in love with Andy… What the hell is wrong with everybody here?”

The answer seemed plausible to him.

“ I’m dead, darling. Not stupid.” He added, with skepticism. “ I can feel it crushing your heart. It may not be the love meant for lovers, but you love him and that is a problem.”

There were no secrets between them, not at least on her part. She didn’t mind being honest about her feelings and thoughts about him in the way she interpreted those.

“ He listens to me, no matter how crazy I sound to all the other outsiders. I feel that Andy understands me in ways no one else ever did. I want to find out, but everytime i’m close to do it, it slips away from me.”

He was smiling at her, as if the reasons given were very typical of her and he was happy to have got at least one guess of parent right.

“ … Cassandra, my splendid princess. “ He praised her, the adoration in his voice was comforting to some extent. “ When your mother agreed with me in the discussion of the name we were going to give you, we never imagined you were going to embrace it so foundly. All I wanted was to name you after a mystical lady from classic literature to honor your exceptional nature. “

“... The argument was between three final options: Medea,Cassandra or Morgana.” She completed the rest of a story she heard him tell thousands of times.” Mom chose Cassandra because, despite it being Greek in origin, it sounded Italian to her. “

“ Mortals will hear only what they are ready for, you are cursing yourself assuming that obligation. “ He followed her, using the metaphor with her name to make a point. “ Not that you aren’t radiant enough for a god to curse you out of unrequired feelings. “

The obvious joke made her chuckle.

“ Stop it, dad !” She playfully thanked him while trying to get serious again. “ You would understand why I do it if you could feel things in the way I do. Do you think about how much time of training I needed to be able to sleep without depending on mom’s special blessing? You know it well, when I was a kid she had to sedate me with her charm so I could find peace at night. It isn’t easy for me, papa. Even now, things don’t get better. The very same people who ignore me in life come back begging for my help in death and they are very loud.”

“ Rowena is a special guest always welcomed here, we can request her help again.“

“ I can’t control my compulsion to warn the living because I am emotionally affected by the pain of the dead. “ She insisted, trying pointlessly to explain herself. “ She helped in everything she could, but she can’t fix the way I feel. I don’t need you to understand it, i know you can’t but i love you anyways. The thing is that, for some reason I don't know, Andy gets it. “

Listening to her with attentive carefulness made him feel reassured in the imperious need of disappointing her. It needed to be done, regardless of the outcome of the game. In the best case for him, the man would come out as a killer by himself and she would be devastated. In the worst, if she was ríght and the darkness in him wasn't enough to be turned into pure evilness, he could be giving her a hopeful purpose to abandon the hotel.

He would kill him before letting that happen. If what his princess wanted was a new friend, he would give her one to keep forever.

Still uncertain about having to get that far, he proceeded to make the calculated entrance to disappointing her of him.

" Andrew is obsessed with the Lakeshore Strangler, a non-transcendental name operating in his home city when he was a kid. It is a long date issue, the origins are placed past his sixth birthday. It can't be a coincidence and I have reasons to believe that he already has some victims on his count. It wouldn't be the first time that happens, many of my associates don't come here to commit their first murder. For instance, Jeffrey did his first experiment long before our meeting. "

The comparison made her incredibly angry. The rage in her eyes indicated to him that the comment crossed the line.

" I knew that you were going to do this!! Is it because of the shyness and military background? Stop projecting crap on him, Andy is not who you think he is. He is not some awkward pervert like Dahmer and Chucky isn't like Gacy's Pogo. Call me naive, call me crazy ... I don't mind it, I believe in him. "

Rushing to rectify the verbal mistake, James still kept the same intentionality.

" Fair enough, my dear. I may have chosen an imprecise example for my statement, but that doesn't exonerate Andrew from all he has been hiding from you. "

He handed her a piece of paper conveniently stolen from the room in his late night visit to the fed up man. It was a news article about a supposedly accidental massacre that happened at Kent Academy, a military school. Despite it was declared an accident, the facts implied massive red flags for a shooter.

" Most of the deceased were in his class. " Her father explained to her while the girl read in avid shock." Doesn't that remind you of someone?"

Cassandra didn't reply, she didn't want to remember that boy.

" If that ghost deceived you once... Why wouldn't this lad?" James insisted in an ambivalent tone inviting doubt. " You need to be protected from your kindness. It is my responsibility as your father to save you the suffering. "

She couldn't speak because she couldn't think her words right. Thoughts were getting blurry as tears started to flow.

James pretended to close the issue summarizing his interpretation for her, not wishing to upset her more.

" Mr Barclay has a peculiarity absent in all of my previous attempts. He is a guideless killer who proved himself willing to continue the work of someone else. A mediocre inspiration, but one he follows with obsession... Charles Lee Ray, that petty burglar of Chicago. He would have had better luck following Charles Manson, at least he was one of my students."

The out of place joke awakened her of her own desperation induced lethargy.

" CHARLIE!!! A six years old would have called him Charlie!!" She screamed to herself, looking legitimately crazy at the moment of the epiphany. " If the doll would be a representation of Charles that little Andy imagined as his killer menthor, he would be a Charlie, not a Chucky. No kid would think of naming a Charles Chucky before Charlie. Manson is the most famous Charles and those who wish to nickname him call him Charlie. CHUCKY IS A SELF GIVEN NICKNAME THAT THE FUCKING BASTARD USES TO DIFFERENCIATE HIMSELF FROM MANSON!!! "

Her hopes were unbreakable. Her father was astonished to see her finding one new stretched reason to believe in that stranger.

" Watch your language. It's not proper of a lady to swear like that. " He reprimanded her before going back to his point." I fail to see how a nomenclature difference can be enough justification for you... Cassandra, you are making yourself blind to everything but what your visions of him dictate. "

She stared deeply into his eyes after cleaning her face. Her eyes had the challenging fire of someone who would be ready to die defending their truth.

" I believe in Andy because he believes in me. "

There was nothing that could be done, his daughter was determined to insist in that stance.

" If that is your verdict, then I can't save you the pain. " He concluded. " The least you can do for me is postpone this vain search for explanations until tomorrow, since I already gave you a name to start over from a different angle. Isn't that more than what you have obtained so far?"

She knew he was ríght and she didn't mind admitting it.

" Ask Miss Evers to make us some coffee and we can go to your room. I'm not tired enough to not play cards with my father."

" Splendid !!" He exclaimed, showing a happy enthusiasm that he typically reserved only for her and her mother.

They made him happy, but the young witch wasn't fully aware of how important her company was for him. It was her reason for existence, or at least one of the main ones he found to wish for her. He only had one night per month to be with his wife, but his daughter was available anytime he required it. Keeping her was a priority, even if it would imply the sacrifice of his new pawn.

His guilt or innocence on past crimes mattered very little. His only options would be learning to kill for him or perish on the negatory to make sure that Cassandra wouldn't follow him out.

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marzipanandminutiae · 4 years

Note

I just read an older post of yours that said something about "Civil War ghosts at my junior prom to childhood fae-related trauma to hooded figures in the backyard." I'd love to know these stories, if you wouldn't mind telling them.

Oh man. Well, there’s not really much else to them beyond what I said, to be honest.

The (Probable) Civil War Ghost

First of all, it wasn’t actually MY junior prom. It was a friend’s junior prom that he asked me to and I accepted (just as an excuse to be at the biggest local Super-Haunted Historical PropertyTM after dark. there was a battle in my town in 1864, and as a result the whole place is now extremely haunted)

It was a plantation

If you're horrified by plantation weddings, get ready for Plantation Proms: Definitely A Thing In Southern Towns With More Historical Sites Than Hotel Ballrooms

I probably should not have gone to this prom but, while already progressive, I was rather less self-aware as a teenager. thank the gods, it was not a themed prom. although then I probably would have realized how messed-up using that space for a prom was

But I digress

My friend and I were hanging out on the huge back porch of the mansion, which has a ton of rocking chairs for people to use while waiting for tours

There was no wind that night, and while we were free to use the porch and the chairs, nobody else had been up there for over an hour

You probably see where this is going

I was leaning against the railing, feeling very dramatic and elegant in my poly taffeta prom dress, when I remarked to my friend that I’d been visiting this place on school trips for years but never encountered any of the famous ghosts

“Um, Marzi?” he said. “You might want to turn around.”

I turned around

One of the chairs was rocking on its own

Have you ever been in a situation you knew could theoretically happen but always kind of figured wouldn’t? Like you almost don’t believe it, even though it’s Definitely Happening? This was like that. I wasn’t scared. It didn’t feel real, even though I was seeing it and my friend clearly was, too

Being the rational firm ghost believer that I am, I tried to consider all logical possibilities first. “Maybe it’s the wind,” I said, knowing as I said it that the air was totally still. This did not, again, feel scary or portentous. I just felt kind of stupid.

The chair rocked forward and balanced on its front rockers. It was a position no amount of wind could have forced that chair into without blowing it over. A long moment went by. The empty chair stayed balanced, as if held in place by someone sitting in it

“...or not?” I offered.

The chair fell back and rocked to a natural halt, as if someone had gotten up from it and walked away

We both looked at each other and quickly decided to go back to the tent where the dance was taking place. I asked him about it again back in college and, unprompted, he recalled the story exactly as I remember it

The Fae-Related Childhood Trauma

I don’t talk about this one in detail. I just. Don’t.

I saw Something. I ran into my neighbor’s garage and stood in the corner crying for a solid 20 minutes, screaming at anyone who got close not to touch me

Maybe it was a hallucination, though other, less traumatic things I’m inclined to believe happened in my neighborhood.

But every time I even come close to describing what I saw, I just- I can’t. I physically could say or type the words, but it feels like an uncrossable mental barrier of wrongness. It’s Not To Be Discussed

I had plenty of neutral and even positive-seeming fae-ish experiences growing up; most of them I don’t even remember exactly. that was the only really bad one, but it was (as you can tell) a doozy

The Hooded Figure

My mom and sister and I were watching Phantom of the Opera (2004) one evening and the sun began to set.

I got up to close the blinds on the French doors to the porch

I saw a hooded figure- not like a Grim Reaper; I got more the vibe of a tall woman wearing a hooded cloak -slowly walk behind a stand of trees in the neighbor’s terraced garden

I saw the figure pass behind the trees, apparently on a straight trajectory across the terrace

The figure never came out the other side. The outline behind the trees just disappeared. From that angle, there was nowhere a person could go that I wouldn’t have seen them. But I never saw her(?) again

There you go. Hope that was what you were after!

#ask #anon #long post #personal #paranormal #fair folk #ghosts #ghost encounters #plantation mention

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ruzek-halstead · 4 years

Text

relight that spark ✨

prologue

pairing: luke patterson x julie molina

a modern day adaptation of the classic ‘cinderella’ tale.

high school au based off ‘a cinderella story’.

series masterlist || masterlist || ao3

warnings: fluffery, swearing

join my taglist here (or leave a comment to be tagged for this story only :)

i want you all to bear with me because this chapter isn't very exciting (with the exception of juke's text messages) but i think it's very necessary for background information. especially if you haven't watched the original movie!!

as you all know, this story is based off the 2004 classic 'a cinderella story' featuring hilary duff and chad michael murray. this is one of my favourite films, so i do urge you all to give it a watch! this fic is obviously not going to be exact to the movie, but it will follow generally the same storyline, but in a more modern sense.

✨

Julie Molina was a simple girl. All she really wanted was to get accepted into the Berklee College of Music, graduate high school and make enough money to move out and afford tuition. It wasn't an easy feat, but it's what she had been working for since her father passed away eight years ago. Her life used to be fantastic. Julie was still young when her mom passed away from cancer, and the memories she did have of her were slightly clouded and slowly fading away. But she remembered that she was one of the most gentle souls ever. She remembered her soft voice when she sang her to sleep every night, but one night, she wasn't there anymore. Julie never heard her mom's voice again. But her dad never let her forget anything. The memory of Rose Molina was alive and well in the Molina household, and at the family diner Ray owned, Mel's. He had inherited it from his father, and every day, he worked tirelessly to turn it into a feel-good family diner where everyone felt welcome and at home. After Rose passed, it was where Julie spent most of her time. Her dad was always busy with work, so she tagged along, but she never minded because the staff was her family. Her Tia Victoria worked there as the boss behind the boss, and she always made time to help Julie with her homework. Julie did everything at the diner. Holidays, birthdays, you name it. It was her home away from home; a place where she felt utterly safe and accepted. Until one day, she didn't. Mel's provided her the warmth and familiarity she lacked in her true home ever since her mom passed away. But the day Karen Fields walked through the door, slipped on a puddle and fell into Ray Molina's arms, that feeling was stripped away and never returned. Her father and Karen dated for a few months, and before Julie knew it, they were booking venues, cake tasting and dress shopping. Her father was getting married. Julie had never gotten the warmest of vibes from Karen, only when her father was around. But she was young, and she didn't know any better, and she couldn't tell her father that this was a terrible decision. She saw him happy, she saw him smiling, and she couldn't take that away from him. So, they got married, and shortly thereafter, Karen and her two twin daughters were moving into their Los Angeles home. Karen's daughters, Jade and Sophia, were not friendly in the slightest. They never went out of their way to include Julie in any activities, and completely ignored her at school, even though they were in the same grade. Julie didn't care much about that. She couldn't be bothered with mean girls like them, and plus, she already had the only friend she'd ever need. Julie met Flynn Anderson on the first day of kindergarten. It was quite hard to not notice the five-year-old yelling at another five-year-old because he had stepped on her brand new white sneakers. Even though her screaming was driving everyone away, Julie thought it was funny, so she went to join her at the sandbox. Ever since that day, the two had been inseparable. It also wasn't the last time Flynn yelled at obnoxious boys who unnerved her. Flynn kept Julie sane throughout the death of her mom, the transition with Karen and her family, and the worst event of all; the unexpected death of her father. She didn't see it coming, none of them did. One night Julie's dad was tucking her in and reading her a bedtime story, but then the ground started shaking and everything fell off the shelves. Her dad pulled her into the corner for safety, but Karen's screaming caught his attention and he had to leave her. She still had nightmares of their last few moments together, when he squeezed her hand before running out of the room. That was the last time she ever saw her father. Her young life only went downhill from there. According to the lawyers, there was no will left behind. This meant everything her father ever owned was left to Karen; that included his house, his money, his diner and Julie. If Julie thought Karen didn't like her before, she knew with one-hundred percent certainty that her presence was more like a burden now. Tia Victoria tried to fight for custody, because she never believed her brother-in-law would leave Julie in the hands of anyone else, but the courts disagreed and there was nothing else she could do about it. Julie was banished to the attic, and all house-duties were dumped on her. She was in charge of dishes, laundry, cleaning the entire house. On top of that, as soon as she was of legal age to work, Karen demanded she work at the diner to cover her expenses. Julie really had no other option, and although she hated it at the beginning, she realized the silver lining. Working at the diner meant she would spend time with her Tia Victoria and the rest of the staff that she loved, and she could also make her own money so she could move out, pay tuition and leave this life behind. That was what her life consisted of for now. She had her mind set on the music school of her dreams and she was working day and night so she could afford it. She went to school throughout the day, worked at the diner after school, and finished household chores after her shift. It didn't leave her much time to focus on her music, which at the end of the day was okay, because she didn't like to work on her music around her step-mother and step-sisters. They didn't understand, and they were cruel, so the less they knew about it, the better. It was also okay because Julie hadn't been able to publicly perform since her father passed away. When her mom passed, she left dozens of songs for Julie so she wouldn't give up music; it was her father that encouraged her to keep going, even at a young age. But with him gone, a piece of her went with him and she couldn't find it in herself to sing in front of others when he wasn't here to watch her. She kept her musical talents on the down low; only her Mel's family and Flynn truly knew what she was capable of with a piano and a microphone. That was until one day she received a text message from an unknown number. It started out innocent, crossed wires based on a flyer she put up three years ago to make some extra money. She didn't think any of those flyers were still around; they were unbelievably basic, with just her phone number and rate for piano lessons. Even though she didn't know this stranger and their first conversation was a tad bit rocky, for some reason, she felt comfortable talking to them. One day they started, and it just didn't stop.

That was how they met. She was expecting the conversation to end after she told them she wasn’t offering lessons anymore (she can’t even begin to explain how they found one of her flyers in the first place), but whoever they were, they were incredibly persistent. They were slightly charming, and for some reason, Julie found herself opening up and revealing things about herself only a limited number of people knew about her. She couldn’t explain the instant connection. She would honestly sound crazy if she tried. And even after she spilled her guts out, and it was well into the night, she was surprised to see another message the following morning. So, they kept talking; night and day, they talked about anything and everything. Julie never asked who they were; she never asked for their identity because the mystery was intriguing, and she really didn’t want to reveal her own. All she knew is that they were a senior at her high school and identified as male; she knew he was in a band and he played many instruments and sang a bit. Julie only told him the same amount of information; that she was also a senior and identified as female. Throughout their constant virtual interactions, they started revealing more and more about themselves. From their first conversation, Julie told him all about the death of her mom, and how that influenced her music career. She decided not to tell him about her father's death right away, because she did remember he was a total stranger and who knew if she could even trust him? She revealed that something traumatic had happened and her music was temporarily put on hold as she worked on herself. But through time, he opened up to her as well, and eventually, she let him into to all the details. He revealed to her that his parents were dead set on him pursuing other endeavours, including a full scholarship to Stanford University. However, that wasn't what he wanted to do. He wanted to purse his music and his band, and when he mentioned Berklee College of Music, Julie knew there was no forgetting they had ever met. She was locked in. Their conversations started simple, more like venting sessions. But overtime, they became random, about anything and everything. And to a certain extent, they became a tad flirty. Julie was no expert in the romance department, by any means. With all the tragic events in her life, romantic partners had been the furthest thing from her mind. But sometimes she got a real flirty vibe that she couldn't deny. And even when she wasn't sure, she'd show the messages to Flynn, who, with an eye roll, assured her he was definitely trying to flirt. It made her extremely nervous at first, but then she realized, she had nothing to lose. This was all virtual, they didn't know each other's identities; he couldn't hurt her. But Julie didn't like to refer to him as some random number in her contacts. As much as she didn't necessarily want to put a face to the number, she needed at least a name, or even a pseudonym. When he asked for an example, Julie suggested he refer to her as 'Dahlia' as that was her mother's favourite flower and she had an emotional attachment to it. He had made a lame joke about being able to top that but ultimately he chose 'Charming'. Julie had made the mistake of telling him he was charming once, and he still hadn't let it go. This was the ultimate power move to make sure she never forgot it; but secretly, she loved it.

And so, that's how it went. Sometimes they talked about serious things, like their future at university, and sometimes it was simpler things. Julie liked to argue because her sassiness would have it no other way; Charming could give it right back to her, ensuring it was never a dull conversation.

When Julie wasn't working, studying, or working on her music, she was talking to Charming. It was enough for her, for now. She was just trying to get through senior year quietly, by doing what was expected of her and making as much money as she could to get the hell out of there. But she should have expected that things wouldn't go that smoothly; they never had for her before. This is the story of Julie Molina and her Prince Charming, and everything in between.

✨

i was super unsure about this chapter because it wasn't that exciting and then i realized i could probably just use it as an prologue or something for some background information, so i hope it was enough.

i'm really excited to get into the nitty gritty of this story, so i really hope you all enjoyed this enough to follow along! i'm not sure how many chapters this will be yet, i'm thinking at least four/five with everything i have planned???

stay safe, thanks for reading!!

tagging: @grootsgillespie || @jayhalsteadcpd || @moreflowersthanweeds || @well-hes-just-too-cute || @echocharm17618 || @leopard-print-slippers || @jandthephantoms || @scribblingfangirl || @n0wornever || @simpformolina || @only-trust-fictional-characters || @snowmione18 || @tellurphantoms || @knitsessed || @carriewilsons || @elitharavenclaw || @wakeupfantoms || @uselessnerdnherblahg || @anotheronechicagobog || @katie-navarro

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ayuuria · 4 years

Text

Yashahime Translation: Animage Magazine September 2020 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

This is an old article that was published back in August of 2020, before Yashahime began airing so please keep that in mind as you read this. I never translated this article until now so this is not a reprint or anything like that.

The Half-Demon Girls 2020 autumn SPOTLIGHT!

The feudal and modern era, the fantasy adventure that traverses the two time periods has started once again in the Reiwa period. The curtains will finally rise this fall on the feudal fairytale full of mystery and romanticism spun by three half-demon girls.

“Inuyasha” (original work by Takahashi Rumiko, published in Shōnen Sunday Comics) is an action adventure that was unfolded by a half-demon living in the feudal era named Inuyasha and a modern girl who time traveled to the feudal era named Higurashi Kagome. The anime ran from 2000 – 2004 and the depicts complex, jumbled human drama between humans and demons and the struggle for the Shikon Jewel. “Inuyasha The Final Act” was broadcasted from 2009 – 2010 which concluded the series and brought the curtains to a close.

Continuing that world and depicting a new adventure is “Hanyō no Yashahime”. Living in two different eras while still being twins are Towa and Setsuna, Sesshōmaru’s (Inuyasha’s elder brother) daughters. Then there’s Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, Moroha. These three girls who have both human and demon blood are the protagonists of this work. Why did these girls end up moving together? Who is Towa and Setsuna’s mother? Why are the three of them living separately from their parents?... Currently, the full story is wrapped in mystery.

This month, we went directly to Sumisawa Katsuyuki-san who was the series composition writer and script writer for “Inuyasha” and “Inuyasha The Final Act” and now for this current work as well. For the anime staff too, the feelings for the Inuyasha series seems to have strongly taken root even now.

Higurashi Towa Sesshōmaru’s daughter and Setsuna’s elder twin sister. She slipped through time when she was little and was raised as Sōta’s (Kagome’s younger brother) daughter. She tends to get into fights easily.

Setsuna Sesshōmaru’s daughter and Towa’s younger twin sister. However, she does not remember Towa whom she was separated from when they were little. She is a member of the demon slayers headed by Kohaku.

Moroha Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter who has lived on her own since early childhood. She spends her days slaying demon bounties and takes the alias of “The monster killing Moroha”.

Sesshōmaru’s Two Daughters

Cool and beautiful, the proud and cool-headed Sesshōmaru was a prominently popular character in “Inuyasha”. His daughters, Towa and Setsuna, also have traces of him about them. “Setsuna and Towa strongly inherited Sesshōmaru’s “Yin” and “Yang” respectively. For that purpose, when thinking about their image, Rumiko-sensei also stated, “Please forget about the mother’s existence for now” (Sumisawa)

Behind the Character Creation

The character designs for Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha were done by Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. “At the beginning, Rumiko-sensei told us “I can’t draw a character if I don’t understand them”. The designs depicted here are the result of finally getting the OK after presenting many setting plans from our end.” (Sumisawa)

The Characters of “Inuyasha” Too

Sōta, who is the parent who raises Towa, is a familiar existence to “Inuyasha” fans. In addition, Kohaku, who is the head of the demon slayer group that Setsuna is a part of, is the little brother of Sango who is Inuyasha’s comrade. He was also an important character who held the key to the struggle for the Shikon Jewel. Will other characters from “Inuyasha” make an appearance besides them?

The Feudal Fairytale Going Between Two Eras Series Composition: Sumisawa Katsuyuki

— First, please tell us the details of how this work came about.

Sumisawa: Over 3 years ago, the producer for anime “Inuyasha”, Suwa Michihiko, said to me “I want you to write a continuation for “Inuyasha””. I thought “Goodness, what is this person saying” (laughs). Afterall, “Inuyasha” was concluded. Takahashi Rumiko-sensei is a perfect original creator so there wasn’t a single unanswered thing. I don’t think there are many mangas that conclude so beautifully and properly that it’s deeply moving. On top of that, I wrote the script for the anime called “Inuyasha The Final Act” and brought it to an end myself, so depicting something beyond that is impossible.

— What sort of story direction did Suwa-san come up with?

Sumisawa: When I also asked back “Inuyasha and Kagome don’t have any problems, the Bone Eater’s Well (which connects the modern and feudal era) can no longer be traversed, Naraku was defeated and the Shikon Jewel is gone. What sort of story would we make?” and he responded, “Coming up with (a story) is your job isn’t it” (laughs).

— That is a very unreasonable request (laughs).

Sumisawa: Yes. That’s why I put it on the backburner for over 2 years after that. It’s just that when I was invited to and attended an anime event in Washington D.C, there was a person there cosplaying the Great Dog Demon (Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru’s father). That person said to me “Please hurry and make a sequel to “Inuyasha”!”. It seems that even now, they felt that “Inuyasha” was still a passionate real time work. With that, what I came up with after rethinking “Maybe I can write something with this” was “the story of Sesshōmaru’s daughter”.

— Why Sesshōmaru’s child instead of Inuyasha and Kagome’s child?

Sumisawa: When the work features the child of the protagonist as the main character, the parents steal show when they make an appearance. Even Rumiko-sensei analyzed that “Even if you make it a story about Inuyasha’s son confronting some incident, you can’t surpass the method in which the problem was resolved in the work “Inuyasha”, so it’s impossible”. In that case, I suggested to Rumiko-sensei “If it’s Sesshōmaru’s daughter, it would be a different development”.

— What was Takahashi-san’s reaction when she heard that idea?

Sumisawa: At first, she was unsure like “Hmm” for a long time. It’s only natural. Among the characters that Rumiko-sensei created, Sesshōmaru was a character that she had a strong emotional attachment to. However, she told me “But if it’s Sumisawa-san, it might be doable” and I said, “Please allow me to do this!”. I was grateful that Rumiko-sensei trusted me. I strongly felt that I had to live up to that trust. Actually, I thought of an idea where the setting would be the “modern era” and Sesshōmaru’s daughters would fight demons with Sesshōmaru being mostly uninvolved. However, that didn’t work at all. Now, I’m embarrassed at myself for coming up with that plan.

— That sounds entertaining in it of itself.

Sumisawa: No. First, the atmosphere wouldn’t be serious. Also, if you don’t have the component of going between the feudal and modern eras, it wouldn’t be the “Inuyasha” world. If you only have one (era), it wouldn’t be “a feudal fairytale”.

— Then, how was the title “Hanyō no Yashahime” decided?

Sumisawa: We didn’t really struggle to come up with this title. Rumiko-sensei invented the word "half-demon” (half human and half demon), so “HANYO” is understood overseas. Thus, we purposely put this globally understood word “half-demon” into the title. “Yashahime” is used in other (works) as well, so our aim was to put something in front. The “feudal fairytale” in the logo “Is like what “mobile suit” is to “Gundam”” as Sunrise’s Ogata Naohiro-san put it.

— So it becomes a new feudal fairytale with the half-demon girls as the main characters.

Sumisawa: The thing is, I said earlier that “Inuyasha” was a manga that didn’t leave a single thing unanswered, but actually, there’s a little bit of content that wasn’t shown in the anime. For example, when Rumiko-sensei did a one-time revival of “Inuyasha” for the Great East Japan Earthquake revitalization support project, “Heroes Come Back”. This was published in volume 30 of the “Inuyasha” Wide Edition comics. That and to show “Inuyasha The Final Act” within the episode limit, we ended up not touching some of the episodes (within the manga). So I thought I had to write those in.

— Currently, the two biggest questions fans have been focused on are “Why are Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sesshōmaru not raising their children?” and “Who is Sesshōmaru’s wife?”

Sumisawa:

Yes. I can’t answer that here, but under Takahashi Rumiko-sensei’s supervision, there’s no way we would leave out those very important topics. Of course, these are properly shown in the main story so look forward to seeing it. Please be at ease.

#yashahime #hanyou no yashahime #yashahime: princess half demon #translation

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vintagedolan · 4 years

Text

mint chocolate

you’ve been in love with ethan since the early days of your childhood friendship, but what happens when it’s too late to tell him?

word count: 5k

warnings/tags: fluffy fluff lets go ladies

also shoutout to @gloriousgrant for this request, ily bby!!

feel free to send in requests! and check out my masterlist if you wanna :)

An elephant’s memory. That’s what your mom had always said - you had an elephant’s memory. Never forgot a detail, a friend, a face. Which is why you could still remember the first halloween party you ever got invited to, all the way back in preschool, as clearly as you could remember what you had for breakfast yesterday.

You didn’t remember the party though, but that was because you didn’t go. It had been a simple decision once you’d found out from eavesdropping on the mom gossip that only 33 of the 35 kids from your class had gotten the cute personalized invitations in the mail.

Your four year old self said it best - “If etee and gray aren’t going, I’s not going.”

You didn’t realize until you were older that you words had made Lisa cry, overwhelmed and grateful that her boys had a friend at school when everyone seemed to be against them. So, she’d decided to make it the best halloween that she possibly could for her kids, and for you.

And thus, over way too much sugary candy, smores, trick or treating and the watchful eyes of your mom and Lisa, the trio was born on Halloween night, 2004.

The three of you held strong through elementary school - sat next to each other until the teacher separated you for talking too much, shared your lunches every day. Lisa would even send an extra piece of candy on Friday’s for you in Ethan’s lunch - little pieces of mint chocolate that they kept at the salon for clients. Recess was always your favorite time, because the boys were wild, always finding something more fun than the playground equipment, like trees to climb or hills to roll down. You were fine with that - there were too many kids on the playground anyways. And when little scrawny David tried to kiss you at the top of the slide Ethan shoved him down, getting himself time out for the next three days.

You sat with him in the mulch every day until he was allowed to play again.

Middle school was where the bumps in the road came along. Grayson went, in his mother’s words, ‘girl crazy’, and in his brother’s words, he ‘became a player’. Turns out, middle school girls don’t trust their boyfriends to have girl best friends, and Grayson fell into the trap, desperate to people please and get a date to the dance. Every time he broke up with them he’d come back, apologize, want to be your friend again, and you let him, because you loved him, even if he was a dick sometimes.

Ethan was another story. Sure, he had a few 6th grade girlfriends who constituted an after school hug as a date, but the first negative thing they said about you had him bounding down the hallway to your locker to reassure you that he was, once again, a ‘single pringle’.

With Grayson off having Lisa drive him and the girl of the month to the fro-yo shop twice a week, it left space for you and Ethan to get even closer than you already were. You took stupid pictures on his families computer, edited them to high heaven with the strongest contrast and put stupidly fonted “<3″ and “bffz foreva” all around your faces, set them as your blackberry backgrounds. You watched movie reruns and renamed the characters and talked about how Ethan wanted to be an actor someday. You played hide and seek in the Dolan’s backyard, always giving away your hiding spot when one of you got too spooked and ran to the other one. You were allowed to spend the night if you stayed in the living room, which meant you took the couch, Ethan took the floor, and usually Grayson ended up curled up in the recliner, wanting to be a part of the fun once he got home and realized he was missing out.

Things got worse in 8th grade. The bullying was incessant with the boys growing popularity on vine, and since the three of you were always seen as a unit of sorts, you got pulled into it. There were so many jeers in the hallways that you couldn’t keep track of them. The trio reunited, Grayson clinging to you as one of the few friends he could trust. It became texts of ‘lets eat lunch by the band room, no one will bother us over there’ and ‘hey, I heard Jillian earlier, u ok?” snuck under science room tables. You got suspended for punching a guy who wouldn’t shut his mouth about Ethan in September - your parents were pissed but you didn’t care - no one was going to fuck with your friends.

Your reprieves were after school when you could hang out like you always had... well, after they got done with football or lacrosse or wrestling practice. They’d come home sweaty, smelling like gym mats, texting you to come over. If your mom couldn’t take you over Lisa would come pick you up - even Cameron got you a few times, acting like it was a chore but secretly glad that her brothers had someone, anyone, to rely on. You went to every single one of their games and matches, wrote 47 and 8 on your cheeks in face paint and yelled as loud as you could, ate celebratory ice cream with them when they won.

Things got, somehow, even worse freshman year of high school. The bullying was even more intense, with threats posed against both of them, and against you. Ethan got secretive for the first time in his entire friendship with you. One minute he was even more clingy than usual, and the next day he was quiet and distant. It took you calling him out on it one night for him to finally fess up.

And it was those four painful words that made you realize that you were in love with Ethan Dolan.

“We’re moving to LA.”

You cried. Ethan cried. Grayson cried. Lisa cried.

But you dried your tears, put on a brave face, told him how proud you were of him, of both of them. They were chasing their dreams, making it happen for themselves in a way that you could only admire. What type of friend would you be if you tried to hold them back?

You made the most of the last month that they were still in New Jersey, hanging out every minute that you could, helping them look at apartments in LA online, watching them film videos for their channel, supporting them every step of the way.

You lost track of how many times you had to reassure Ethan that you’d be fine in high school without him, even if it wasn’t true. He’d told you over and over to just pretend like you weren’t friends with them anymore - anything to get the bullying to stop. You told him no way in hell.

You stayed the night at the Dolan’s house in October, the night before they got on the plane to move out. It was fun, an early halloween celebration of sorts, mixed with a going away party that had you laughing as much as it had you crying.

The real kicker came around midnight, after Grayson had fallen asleep in the chair that he was much too big for now, and you and Ethan were left in the silence.

“I’m gonna miss you. So much. I don’t know what life looks like without you,” you admitted with teary eyes, toying with his fingers.

“I’m gonna miss you more. But I’ll always be here to visit, and it’ll be just like old times.”

You doubted that, but you weren’t going to say it. The thought of not seeing him everyday, having him so far away, surrounded by new people, new girls - it put a lump in your throat that you couldn’t quite get the words “I’m in love with you” around. You’d realized that it was more than just friendship for you as soon as he told you he was leaving - but you couldn’t bring yourself to put that on him when he already felt guilty enough for leaving you behind.

So you just nodded at his promises of flying you out to LA when they got enough money, showing you all around California, tried to believe him when he said you were always going to be his number one, and fell asleep against his chest.

You rode with them to the airport, held their hands the whole way in the backseat and kept your head held high as you hugged them and sent them through security.

You sobbed the whole way home. Even after you managed to pull yourself together a little bit, when you got that made it, miss you already text that signaled they had landed that night, a whole new wave of tears made their appearance.

You knew it would be hard, but you didn’t realize just how lonely you were going to be without both of them, but especially Ethan at your side.

But there was a silver lining.

It was in those next few months that you realized that Ethan always kept his promises. He facetimed you whenever he could, showed you around their apartment, asked you to explain how to make mac and cheese cause he was ‘gonna starve’. He sent you pictures of everywhere cool he visited in LA, even sent you postcards sometimes just for fun. And when he came to visit a month later he stopped at your house first, knocking incessantly until you opened the door and threw your arms around him. Once the tears had stopped - the ones you let flow and the ones he blinked back, he reached into his bag and pulled something out.

“Look what I found in the airport in LA. Your favorite.” He placed the mint chocolate bar in your hands with a grin, proud of himself for putting such a big smile on your face.

And so, the tradition began.

Every time he came back to New Jersey he was on your doorstep, and every time he brought you one of those little chocolate bars. It didn’t matter that he was home to see his family, because any time you brought it up he’d wave you off, reassure you that ‘you are family bub’, making you fall more and more in love with him every time.

When he had the money, he flew you out to California, showed you all his favorite places. He took you to the beach, on hikes, made sure you got the full cali experience with him at your side.

There were times over the years where he visited less, or visited more. But It didn’t matter if it’d been a week or 3 months since you’d seen him - the butterflies were all the same when you saw him again.

You were sure to catch up each time you reunited, going down the list of everything you might of missed, even if you still talked every day. It went like so:

One: how’s the channel going? To which he would ask “how’s school?”

Two: any new friends? He’d ask the same.

And then came question number three, your least favorite:

Got a girlfriend?

You’d wait with bated breath every time, sighing out in secret relief when he’d say “nah, don’t have time” or “no, LA girls are weird”. And then you’d go on with whatever you had planned that day, whether it was just hanging around your old Jersey stomping grounds or sit in your room, and eventually your apartment when you moved out, heart a bit lighter.

Maybe that’s why it hurt so bad on his last visit when he’d hesitated on that question, looked down at his hands.

The most painful four words you’d been told changed that afternoon, when he finally answered.

“Yeah, I do actually.”

You’d always known it was going to happen eventually - you’d been preparing for it in the back of your mind for a while now. You saw the comments on every post he made, the replies to his tweets, thousands and thousands of adoring girls, and it only grew every single day. Maybe it had been dumb to think that he’d ever realize just how in love with him you were, dumb to think that maybe, maybe, he saw you that way too.

So, you put on your brave face, forced that smile to spread over your face and ran through the motions.

“Really?! What, since when?!” had never sounded faker than when they came out of your mouth, laced with false enthusiasm.

And you listened to him tell you all about her, Allison, a girl he’d met at an LA party that he didn’t want to go to. You nodded at the right times, smiled and asked questions you didn’t care to know the answers to.

You secretly wished hearts made a noise when they broke - maybe it would have stopped the conversation, saved you from having to see his face light up when he said her name, the blush that spread across his cheeks when he told you about his first date with her.

Three months passed - and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t run at least part of that conversation through your head every day since you had it. It was nice that Ethan wasn’t the type to put his relationship out to the public - a front row seat would only make it worse, you were sure.

You decided it was time to try, to really try to find someone that wasn’t Ethan. Sure, you’d talked to people in the past, but you’d never gone all in when trying to find someone to be with, because, well, there was really only one on your mind anyways.

Which was why it was weird to answer one of Ethan’s usual what’re you up to this week texts with not much, work, hanging out with my parents, got a date tomorrow night. You all still working on the candle launch stuff?

At his kitchen counter in LA, Ethan frowned as he read it. Date.

“What?” Grayson asked, reading his twin’s face as he washed the pans from dinner.

“Y/N’s going on a date.”

“Huh. Well, good for her,” he shrugged, looking down at the water running over his hands, eyes flickering up to Ethan’s face, trying to figure out if he should say what he’s thinking. Fuck it, if he gets pissed he gets pissed. “How do you feel about that?”

That got Ethan’s attention off his phone screen.

“How do I feel about that? What’s that supposed to mean?” The defensiveness in his tone had Gray tensing up a bit.

“It’s just a question bro.”

“I have a girlfriend Grayson.”

Grayson stopped scrubbing, annoyed at his brother’s tone. He’d tried to be supportive, loving - but he was getting tired of Ethan complaining about his relationship woes and not doing anything about it.

“Yeah, who you said you wanted to break up with twice last week, for the record. And you’re the one that brought up Y/N, not me,” he pointed out, knowing that if he was already gonna piss his brother off, he might as well say everything he wanted to say.

“You never liked Allison,” Ethan snapped.

“Fuckin facts, cause she’s manipulative and fake.”

“No she isn’t.” He threw Grayson a glare, pressing his hands together until his knuckles popped.

“If you actually believed that you would have hit back with an actual argument just now. I mean jesus Ethan, she told you you couldn’t go back to see Y/N for god’s sake. That used to be your fuckin’ dealbreaker back in the day, why would you put up with that shit now?”

“I didn’t put up with it, I told her it wasn’t negotiable and I went to Jersey anyways!” He was yelling now, hands gripping the edge of the counter.

“Yeah, and then she gave you the silent treatment for a week when you got back like a fuckin’ six year old. That’s some middle school shit and you know it E. You don’t have to put up with that, you can find somebody who treats you better.”

“Will you fucking stop Grayson?” He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’ve got enough shit going on right now, I don’t need you in my head too.”

“Fine. But friends don’t get jealous when their friends go on dates, especially not when that friend is across the fucking country. Just so you know.” He watched his brother put his face in his hands and felt that familiar pang in heart that made him add a “I’ll be in my room if you wanna talk about it” before he walked out.

Grayson had mastered the art of keeping tabs on Ethan without him knowing. So even from his room he heard him leave, and based on how long he sat in the driveway with the car running, he knew exactly where he was going.

So, he wasn’t fully surprised when Ethan came into his room three hours later without knocking and laid down on his bed next to him without a word, staring up at the ceiling.

“So...”

“So.” Ethan repeated.

“Did you uh...”

“Break up with her?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Cool. How’d she take it.”

“About exactly how you'd expect.”

“Ugly sobbing?”

“So much ugly sobbing.”

“Sounds on brand.”

The conversation faded into silence, only the hum of the fan spinning in the corner filling the room. Grayson let it go on for a few minutes before he spoke up again.

“So.”

“You goin’ back to Jersey?”

Ethan perked up at that one, sitting up slightly and turning so he could look at his brother. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for the explanation.

“C’mon bro. You can’t act like Y/N doesn’t have anything to do with this. I mean, you should have dropped Allison a while ago, but it’s not a coincidence that the idea of Y/N going on a date was what made you do it now. You should just tell her how you feel. Put it all on the table.”

He pondered that for a minute, staring up at the white ceiling.

“I hate sharing a brain with you, you fuck,” were the words he eventually chose, rolling over and pulling out his phone. Grayson smirked when he saw what he searched - American Airlines.

“Not my fault we split into two goops.”

Ethan typed in the flight plan he’d done more than any other - LAX -> EWR. 4 hours and 56 minute, like usual. There was one leaving in just over an hour and a half, and the knot that formed in his stomach was all too familiar. It came around every time he waited on the doorstep of her apartment in New Jersey, waited for her to show up at the door with that bright smile that had never changed, never wavered. He’d do anything to have her smiling like that all the time.

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”

Grayson’s brows furrowed, knitting together above his eyes. “What?”

“What if she gets mad that I ruined her date. I don’t wanna fuck that up for her. She could be happy with the guy.” The words tasted like metal on his tongue.

“Oh c’mon Ethan. She’s only dating somebody because you’re dating somebody. Well, were, I guess.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know how she feels about me.”

“You’re forgetting that I’ve been her friend for just as long as you have. You just gotta trust me on this bro. It’s not a coincidence that she starts going on dates when you tell her you’ve got a girl.”

“So many coincidences,” Ethan huffed.

“So many not coincidences,” Grayson corrected, raising his eyebrows and waiting for him to give in.

“Am I just supposed to show up at her house? I’m not gonna get to Jersey until-” he did the time change math that was second nature by now “- shit, like 2am? That’s kinda sus.”

“Right, because showing up at her house isn’t the first thing you do every time we go home anyways.” Grayson rolled his eyes. “What time’s the flight?”

“In like an hour and a half.”

“We can make it, just pack a bag real quick, I’ll start the car up.”

“Okay. Okay.” Ethan nodded, standing up and waiting for a minute before he fully decided that holy shit, he was finally gonna do this, and then he was running down the hall towards his room.

“And don’t wear shorts! Put on some fuckin’ pants and look decent at least!” Grayson called after him with a grin.

“I can dress myself bro, fuck off!”

It turns out, Ludacris mode on a tesla comes in handy when you’re trying not to miss a flight. They sped all the way to LAX, barely time for a hug and a “text me when you get there” before Ethan was running through TSA precheck and barely making the last boarding call of Flight 8333. He took the numbers as a sign that he was doing the right thing, that everything was going to work out.

The nerves really hit when he got settled in his seat on the plane, tattooed thigh bouncing on the floor, covered by his Louis pants. His shoes didn’t match the outfit very well, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He hadn’t had much time to do anything but run through the terminals - he hoped he didn’t stink, didn’t forget anything.

Fuck. The chocolate.

He twitched in his seat, ready to run back out and head to that little convenience store where the manager knew his name, knew he was only there to get a diet root beer for the flight and a mint chocolate bar. But it was no use - the place was probably closed, and it wasn’t like he could get off the plane anyways.

So he put his headphones in, turned on his playlist and closed his eyes as they started to taxi down the runway, praying that maybe he could sleep. Behind his eyelids, memories of you played like a mixture between a slideshow and a movie - little snippets and still images of times he had committed to memory, swore he would never forget.

You, with your toes in the California sand for the first time, so excited to see the beach and the ocean waves crashing, face lighting up as you ran towards the water. Your fourth grade halloween costume - the first year the three of you had coordinated, all of you going as little skeletons. Sitting in the middle school hallway with lunch balanced carefully on your legs, swapping sandwiches and laughs. You hugging him goodbye when he left for LA, how he never wanted to let go, wished he could take you with him more than anything else. Every visit, every time he counted down the days before he could make it back to see you.

He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t in love with you, wasn’t trying to convince himself that it would be wrong to ask you to try long distance, wrong to ‘hold you back’ or ask you to support someone, to love someone, so far away. It almost felt childish now, the thought that the two of you were going to end up with anybody else. His nerves prickled at the daunting task that he knew was awaiting him when the plane wheels touched down again, so he focused on your face instead, trying to breathe.

It was both the longest and quickest flight of his life somehow.

He got a rental car - it was no smooth cat, but it would do - text Grayson that he was safe, and headed out in the familiar direction of your apartment before he could stop himself. He hadn’t made it four minutes down the interstate when the rain started falling, slow at first until it grew into a downpour that was roaring against the car.

His wipers worked double time, keeping his windshield just clear enough for him to find his way to your parking lot.

Heart in his throat, he threw his door open, stepping out into the rain before he could talk himself into turning around, jogging to your door and knocking.

In your bed, your eyes shot open. You waited for another knock, heart beating fast when you heard it, and then the constant rhythm of them afterwards. You rolled over, checked your phone.

2:16am.

“Who in the fuck,” you grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at your eyes as you headed out the door of your room in your pajamas, confused and concerned. If it was your drunk neighbor again, you were going to kill him.

Popping up on your tiptoes, you peeked through the peep hole, breath catching in your throat.

There was no way.

You blinked hard, looked again.

You knew that face, and you threw the door open, relief and panic playing tug of war on your heartbeat.

“Ethan? What- what the hell are you doing here? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” It wasn’t unlike him to show up and surprise you, but it had never been in the middle of the night. Still, he looked perfect as always, even with his drenched hair plastered to his head and soggy clothes.

“I’m okay.”

“Okay... well come inside, come outta the rain,” you reached out to grab his shirt, pull him inside, but he caught your hand, holding on tightly.

“I gotta say something first, and then you can decide if you wanna let me in.” He was too formal, more serious than you were used to and it had your stomach in knots.

“You’re scaring me a little E.”

“Don’t be scared. It’s just me.” His eyes shone, even in the dark, with a familiarity that settled you a bit and you nodded, waiting for him to say whatever it was.

“I don’t know why I never thought it was okay for us to love each other. No, that’s not right, that’s not what I meant to say. I... hang on.”

He took a deep breath, rainwater spraying a bit off his lips when he pushed it out and tried again.

“A long time ago, when we were kids, I convinced myself that we couldn’t love each other, because I couldn’t handle losing you. You’ve been my rock, my only constant outside my family for my entire life, and I don’t think I would have made it without you. So I just decided that we couldn’t love each other like that. And that was selfish. Because I’ve always been in love with you I think. Back then I don’t think I realized what it was. But now, when I look back, I think that’s what it was.”

You’ve always been the person I wanna see every day, especially when I can’t. The first person I think of when I wake up, the one I’m thinking about when I go to sleep. You’re my favorite human on the whole planet, and if soulmates are real I think that’s us. I don’t know why I ever tried to be with anybody else when you were here the whole time.”

And I know it’s not fair for me to put all this on you right now, especially when you tried to be supportive of me with other girls. But that text, you telling me you were going on a date. It slapped me in the face, made me realize just what I was about to give up, what was about to slip through my fingers if I didn’t get my shit together and just tell you everything. So... here I am. I’m here, and I love you... I’m in love with you. And I just needed you to know that. I’m in love with you Y/N. Always have been. And I kinda think that you could be in love with me too. Or at least, I hope maybe you are.”

He had been looking at you the whole time, but you saw the nerves take over as he realized everything he had just said out loud, as he watched you, waited for your reaction.

“I...” Your brain was spinning, unable to understand how everything you’d been waiting your whole life to hear had just come out of his mouth, all at once.

It wasn’t a conscious decision - more of an instinct. Two steps forward out into the rain and then you were throwing your arms around his neck, up on your tip toes to finally, finally, press your lips to his like you’d dreamed about doing so many times.

Your fantasies hadn’t done it justice. He was so warm, so familiar, so Ethan. His hands went to your waist, fingers curling and pulling you against him as he leaned in so hard that you leaned back with him, smiling as your hands came around to hold his face, hold him to you, unwilling for the moment to ever end.

You didn’t even notice the rain.

“Am I dreaming?” You hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it slipped past your lips anyways, making Ethan’s chest swell and his smile get even brighter as he pulled back enough to look at you.

“No baby. This is real. This is us, right here, right now.”

"No fuckin’ way,” you breathed, running your thumbs over his cheeks before he kissed you again, walking you backwards into the house and out of the downpour and over to the couch.

“I love you. So much. Sorry I forgot your chocolate by the way,” he grinned after he sat down and pulled you onto his lap, gazing up at you like you hung the moon and stars.

“You’re so much better than mint chocolate. I love you too.” You kissed him again just because you could, relishing in the feeling of him there with you, not a worry or a care in the world.

#WOOOOOOOOO #i sped wrote the end of this haha i have class SO SOON #love you guys!!!!#lynds writes #ethan imagine #ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan fanfiction #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fic

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calzona-ga · 4 years

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She might change her mind; she certainly has before. But midway through an interview, Ellen Pompeo casually drops the bomb that after more than 360 episodes, the upcoming 17th season of “Grey’s Anatomy” may be its last.

“We don’t know when the show is really ending yet,” Pompeo says, answering a question that was not at all about when the show might end. “But the truth is, this year could be it.”

Pompeo has played Meredith Grey — the superstar surgeon around whom “Grey’s Anatomy” revolves — since its start. The show, created by Shonda Rhimes, premiered on ABC on March 27, 2005, and became an immediate, noisy hit. Since then, for a remarkably long time in Hollywood years, the drama has been among the most popular series on TV, even as the landscape of television has changed seismically. At its Season 2 ratings height, the program drew an average audience of 20 million viewers. And all these years later — in a TV universe now divided by more than 500 scripted shows —“Grey’s” ranks as the No. 1 drama among 18- to 34- year-olds and No. 2 among adults 18 to 49. In delayed, multiplatform viewing, Season 16 averaged 15 million viewers.

Strikingly, technology is such that teenagers who were born when the show premiered, and later binged “Grey’s” on Netflix, watch new episodes live with their parents. The series has spawned two successful spinoffs for ABC, “Private Practice” (which ran from 2007 to 2013) and “Station 19” (which enters its fourth season this fall). “Grey’s Anatomy” has been licensed in more than 200 territories across the world, translated into more than 60 languages, and catapulted the careers of music artists — from Ingrid Michaelson and Snow Patrol to Tegan and Sara and the Fray — whose songs have played during key emotional sequences.

In its explosive initial success, “Grey’s Anatomy” was an insurgent force in popular culture. The Season 1 cast featured three Black actors — Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr. and Isaiah Washington — as doctors in positions of power at the Seattle hospital where the show is set, and Sandra Oh played the ambitious intern Cristina Yang, who would become Meredith’s best friend. For the women characters, the “Grey’s” approach to sex was defiant and joyful, starting in the pilot with Meredith’s one-night stand with Derek (Patrick Dempsey), who turned out to be one of her bosses at the hospital.

Rhimes presented these images to the world like they were no big deal, when in fact, nothing like “Grey’s” had ever been seen on network television. Krista Vernoff has been the “Grey’s Anatomy” showrunner since Season 14, as anointed by Rhimes, and was the head writer for the first seven seasons. She remembers the moment she realized how radical “Grey’s” was — a medical show driven entirely by its characters instead of their surgeries — as she watched an episode early in Season 1. “My whole body was covered in chills,” Vernoff recalls. “I was like, ‘Oh, we thought we were making a sweet little medical show — and we’re making a revolution.’”

Still, no one expected “Grey’s Anatomy” to become the longest-running primetime medical drama in TV history, outlasting “MASH” and “ER,” the previous record-holder. Since 2005, “Grey’s” has inspired countless women to become doctors, and along the way, its depiction of illness has even saved a few lives. The show has remained popular through three presidential administrations, the Great Recession, tectonic shifts in how people watch TV and two cultural reckonings — one feminist, one anti-racist — that demonstrate how ahead of its time “Grey’s Anatomy” has always been.

And they’re not done yet. When Season 17 premieres on Nov. 12, “Grey’s Anatomy” will tackle the subject of the coronavirus as experienced by the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial, all while filming under strict COVID-19 protocols. The season is dedicated to frontline workers. And Pompeo, a producer on “Grey’s” — whose Meredith has removed a live bomb from a patient’s body, was in a plane crash, was widowed after Derek died in a car accident, was beaten nearly to death by a patient and, in a separate incident, actually did die briefly after a ferry accident — is intent on making the show top itself once again.

“I’m constantly fighting for the show as a whole to be as good as it can be. As a producer, I feel like I have permission to be able to do that,” Pompeo says. “I mean, this is the last year of my contract right now. I don’t know that this is the last year? But it could very well could be.”

Pompeo has been refreshingly transparent about her fight to become the highest-paid female actor on television, having detailed a few years ago how she negotiated a paycheck for more than $20 million a year. She clearly knows what she’s doing with these frank pronouncements as well.

As Pompeo laughs over the phone from her car, she says in a near shout: “There’s your sound bite! There’s your clickbait! ABC’s on the phone!”

The “Grey’s Anatomy” team — led by Rhimes and executive producer Betsy Beers — created the first season in a vacuum, because the show did not have an airdate. The 2004-05 season was a comeback year for ABC because “Desperate Housewives” and “Lost,” both of which debuted that fall, became phenomena — not only ratings successes but also watercooler events.

But at “Grey’s,” Rhimes was getting noted to death by network president Steve McPherson. According to Vernoff, McPherson — who resigned in 2010 under a cloud of sexual harassment allegations — stonewalled with “pushback every step of the way,” as ABC’s then- head of drama, Suzanne Patmore Gibbs, fought for the show. Vernoff was close with Patmore Gibbs, who died in 2018, and recalls her talking about her clashes with McPherson.

“He just didn’t get it; he didn’t like it,” Vernoff continues. “Honestly, I’m going to say, I don’t think he liked the ambitious women having sex unapologetically.”

Wilson, when she was cast as Miranda Bailey on “Grey’s,” was a New York theater actor (“Caroline, or Change”) relatively new to series television. But she was well aware of the network’s issues. “We took a creative break around the Christmas holiday, which to me meant ‘Oh, we’re out of a job.’”

Pompeo was frustrated: “Once we finally got an airdate, two weeks before that airdate they wanted to change the title of the show to ‘Complications.’”

In an email to Variety, McPherson disputed these assertions, saying, “I made the original deal with Shonda. I developed ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ at the studio. I picked it up at ABC.” He praised Patmore Gibbs, and added, “As for defaming me again and again, I don’t know what to say other than it’s sad that anyone feels the need to spread lies about me.”

Yet there was so little faith in the show that the writers were asked to clear out their offices when they finished the season. But to Vernoff, who had clicked right away with Rhimes, the early episodes had “felt like a labor of love.”

And it was worth the battle. “We fought for the right for Meredith and Bailey to be whole human beings, with whole sex lives, and not a network TV idea of likable,” Vernoff says. “You might not have been likable, but now you’re iconic.”

As far as the medicine went, the cases were often ostentatious. “Every kind of crazy accident that had ever caused terrible harm to any human ever, that was our homework at night,” Vernoff says. It was up to Zoanne Clack, an emergency room doctor-turned-writer, to be a sounding board in the writers’ room. She began as the only doctor on staff during the first season, and is now an executive producer. “What was interesting was that the writers don’t have those boundaries because they don’t know the rules, so they would come up with all of these scenarios, and my immediate thought was like, ‘No way!’” Clack says. “Then I’d have to think about it and go, ‘But could it?’”

When the program finally premiered — on a Sunday night after “Desperate Housewives” — to massive ratings, it was a shock to the cast and crew, given that they had shot the first season under a cloud, Pompeo says, adding, “So the fact that the numbers were that huge the first time we aired was a big f–k-you to McPherson!”

With Season 2 now a given, everything changed, Vernoff says: “It was like a hurricane-force gale, and everyone was just trying to hold on.” They had made 13 episodes for Season 1, airing nine of them and holding the final four for Season 2 — Meredith finding out that Derek was actually married (to Addison, played by Kate Walsh) had felt like the perfect finale. But upon the writers’ return, Vernoff says, the feeling was “Holy s—. We have to make 22.”

The entire cast — mostly unknown actors like Katherine Heigl as the sunny Izzie Stevens, T.R. Knight as the chummy neurotic George O’Malley, and Justin Chambers as the troubled, secretly vulnerable Alex Karev — had become famous overnight. For Wilson, whose Bailey was the stern teacher the interns called “the Nazi,” it was a new experience. “Folks were scared to talk to me, like in the store or in the Target — people would just kind of leave me alone,” she says. “It was like, ‘What’s going on?’”

According to Vernoff, “Paparazzi were following the cast to work — it was wild.”

The mid- to late-2000s were the height of glossy gossip magazines such as Us Weekly (and its copycats), as well as the inception of TMZ and Perez Hilton as celebrity-hounding, news-breaking forces that fueled (and soiled) the fame-industrial complex. The cast of “Grey’s Anatomy” was firmly in the sights of these new, often toxic forces in media.

Pompeo says the cast was so talented that it “was all worth it” — but yes, the transition to stardom was hard for the group: “At the time, it was just a real combination of exhaustion and stress and drama. Actors competing with each other — and envious.”

Heigl, Knight and Isaiah Washington all went through press cycles that made the show seem scandal-prone. To rehash it all now seems pointless; you can look it up. Washington was fired in June 2007. Knight and Heigl asked to be written out of the show preemptively, in Seasons 5 and 6, respectively.

Vernoff and the other writers were watching the internal messes unfold. They had to deal with how the fallout affected the show’s plot, as when Washington was fired just as Burke, his character, was about to marry Cristina. “When word comes down that an actor is leaving the show, and what you’ve got scripted is a wedding …” Vernoff trails off, laughing.

“There was a lot of drama on-screen and drama off-screen, and young people navigating intense stardom for the first time in their lives,” she continues. “I think that a lot of those actors, if they could go back in time and talk to their younger selves, it would be a different thing. Everybody’s grown and changed and evolved — but it was an intense time.”

Pompeo doesn’t want to talk about what happened with individual actors from the show, because when she has in the past, “it doesn’t get received in the way in which I intend it to be.” But she does make a point about the way television is produced. “Nobody should be working 16 hours a day, 10 months a year — nobody,” she says. “And it’s just causing people to be exhausted, pissed, sad, depressed. It’s a really, really unhealthy model. And I hope post-COVID nobody ever goes back to 24 or 22 episodes a season.

“It’s why people get sick. It’s why people have breakdowns. It’s why actors fight! You want to get rid of a lot of bad behavior? Let people go home and sleep.”

Debbie Allen would eventually be Pompeo’s savior in that regard, but that was years away. Allen — an actor and a dancer — began her directing career when she was on the 1980s TV series “Fame” as a “natural progression” because, she says, “I was in charge of the musical numbers, and so many directors didn’t really know how to shoot them.” She went on to be a prolific director and producer, most notably overhauling NBC’s “A Different World” after a tumultuous first season. As a fan of “Grey’s Anatomy,” Allen wanted to work on the show, and in Season 6, she was hired to direct. To prepare for it, Allen shadowed Wilson, who had been tapped to direct by executive producer-director Rob Corn. (“He came to me and said, ‘You should direct,’” says Wilson, who has now helmed 21 episodes. “And I said, ‘OK.’ Because I didn’t know what else to say.”)

Directing that sixth-season episode led to Allen’s fruitful relationship with “Grey’s.” In Season 8, Rhimes wrote Allen into the show to play Catherine, a star surgeon, a love interest for Richard Webber (Pickens) and the mother of Jackson Avery (Jesse Williams). Ahead of Season 12 in 2015, Allen became the show’s EP/director. Her duties included hiring all of the directors, weighing in on scripts and casting, and, as Allen puts it, “minding that people feel good about themselves.” Several years before the revived #MeToo movement would lead to calls for systemic changes behind the camera in Hollywood, Allen set a goal of hiring 50% women directors. She also increased the number of Black men who directed “Grey’s” during her first season as executive producer, among them Denzel Washington. (When she sold him on it, she recounts, he said to her, “I’m going to say yes, Debbie Allen.”)

Pompeo and Allen are close. Allen began her new role the year after Dempsey left, “at a time when we were really broken,” Pompeo says. “And so much of our problems were perpetuated by bad male management. Debbie came in at a time when we really, really needed a breath of fresh air, and some new positive energy.”

Pompeo continues with a laugh: “Debbie really brought in a spirit to the show that we had never seen — we had never seen optimism! We had never seen celebration. We had never seen joy!”

According to Pompeo, Allen began advocating for her to have more humane hours — Fridays off (Pompeo: “And I was like, ‘What? What? Fridays off?’”) — and for the show to shoot 12-hour days maximum, and ideally no more than 10 hours (Pompeo: “And I was like, I love this woman.”).

Allen speaks affectionately about her bond with Pompeo. “Coming out of Boston, she’s so earthy and real in a way that you might not know,” Allen says. “There’s a sisterhood between us — I guess you would say it’s almost a Blackness that exists between us. And she’s part of our tribe.”

Allen has been a key member of the “Grey’s Anatomy” brain trust since Season 12, and two seasons later, Vernoff returned to run the show. She’d left at the end of Season 7, consulted on “Private Practice” for a few years, and then went to Showtime’s “Shameless” for five seasons. As her contract was set to expire, Rhimes asked Vernoff to lunch, and told her she wanted her to take over. “It felt like she was saying, ‘Hey, our kid needs you,’” Vernoff says.

Before accepting the offer, Vernoff had to catch up on the show. She had always written “Grey’s” as a romantic comedy, and what she saw on-screen during her binge was dark as hell — especially after Derek’s death. “If this show that you are currently making is the show that you want ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ to be,” she recalls telling Rhimes, “I am, in fact, not the right writer for it.” But Rhimes was insistent, saying it was time for a change after the mourning period for Derek.

Vanessa Delgado, who started as a production intern during the seventh season and has worked her way up to being lead editor and co-producer, says the show’s trajectory shifted when Vernoff came back — it was a return to the original, saucier tone of “Grey’s.” “We changed the music completely,” Delgado says. “The dialogue felt lighter and more fun, and wewere having fun again.”

That lightness will be difficult to maintain this year, of course, when, as Allen puts it, “COVID is No. 1 on the call sheet right now.”

Vernoff at first wondered whether “Grey’s” should ignore the coronavirus, thinking the audience comes to the show “for relief.” But the doctors in the writers’ room convinced her this wasn’t the time for escapism, saying to her, “This is the biggest medical story of our lifetime, and it is changing medicine permanently.”

When they’ve had doctors and nurses come speak with them this season, Vernoff says, “they were different human beings than the people we’ve been talking to every year. And I want to honor that, tonally. I just want to inspire people to take care of each other.”

Pompeo, who is not shy about offering criticism, sounds positively enthusiastic: “I’ll say the pilot episode to this season — girl, hold on.

“What nobody thinks we can continue to do, we have done. Hold on. That’s all we’re going to say about that!”

Pompeo has a few more months before she decides whether she wants to continue — and as Rhimes and ABC have made clear in recent years, the show will likely end when she leaves. “I don’t take the decision lightly,” Pompeo says. “We employ a lot of people, and we have a huge platform. And I’m very grateful for it.”

“You know, I’m just weighing out creatively what can we do,” she says. “I’m really, really, really excited about this season. It’s probably going to be one of our best seasons ever. And I know that sounds nuts to say, but it’s really true.”

Vernoff doesn’t worry about the creative well drying up. “We’ve blown past so many potential endings to ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ that I always assume it can go on forever,” she says.

And Wilson knows how important “Grey’s” is to its audience, in that the characters have essentially become people who “live in their house.” As one of only three actors who’ve been on “Grey’s” since the beginning — the other is James Pickens Jr. — Wilson is in it until the end: “In my mind, Bailey is there until the doors close, until the hospital burns down, until the last thing happens on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ That is her entire arc.”

Whenever the show does conclude, part of its legacy will be about the talent it launched into the world, beginning with Rhimes, who will soon release her first shows for Netflix, after her company, Shondaland, made a lucrative deal with the streamer in 2017.

But it will also be about the characters of “Grey’s Anatomy”— mostly women and people of color — who are trying to make the world a better place as they find friendship, love and community.

“The show, at its core, brings people together,” Pompeo says. “And the fact that people can come together and watch the show, and think about things they may not have ordinarily thought about, or see things normalized and humanized in a way that a lot of people really need to see — it helps you become a better human being. If this show has helped anybody become a better human being, then that’s the legacy I’d love to sit with.”

#grey's anatomy #Ellen Pompeo #chandra wilson #Debbie Allen #krista vernoff #season 17 #variety #news

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notebooknebula · 4 years

Video

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Step By Step Guide to $89,000 Deal With Jay Conner

https://www.jayconner.com/step-by-step-guide-to-89000-deal-with-jay-conner/

For today’s episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, he will teach his viewers and listeners the step by step process of how to make a profit of $89,000 that he actually earned on his recent deal.

For this specific deal, the house is located at 108 Fern Court. It’s a beautiful home over in the resort area. Jay bought this house 3 weeks ago and they are already finishing the rehab next week.

First the numbers: he bought this house for $266,000, with a rehab cost of $20,000.

The After Repair Value (ARV) is $375,000.

Let us pretend that Jay did not buy this house yet. Here is the possible Maximum Allowable Offer (MAO) for this house, $300,000.00 minus repairs of $20,000 that will be a total of $280,000 for MAO.

But sometimes there are also some unexpected repairs that you did not count on. So to cover this Jay always prepares a buffer of $10,000. By doing this, it will give him the most decent amount that he will pay.

So the amount now that Jay would almost pay is $270,000. But how much did he actually pay?

Yes, $266,000! He actually paid less than $4000 than what his formula for getting the MAO calls for.

But this is not the end yet, If you want to know the full details of this deal, and want to learn how he earned $89,000 on this deal, just watch the video.

If you want to learn how to get funding for your deals using private money, get on over www.JayConner.com/trial for 30 days of free access to Private Money Academy.

Real Estate Cashflow Conference: https://www.jayconner.com/learnreales...

Free Webinar: http://bit.ly/jaymoneypodcast

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.

#RealEstate #PrivateMoney #FlipYourHouse

What is Real Estate Investing? Live Cashflow Conference

https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo

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Scott Patton (00:09):

You can start.

Jay Conner (00:10):

Oh, I thought so. You’re not doing that other intro like you used to?

Scott Patton (00:13):

No, you’re getting it, then you’re going to stop and then we’re going to have the video.

Jay Conner (00:21):

So am I just doing the hook?

Scott Patton (00:23):

You’re just doing the hook.

Jay Conner (00:24):

You said it was all together.

Scott Patton (00:26):

It is all together. We’re not, we’re not stopping.

Jay Conner (00:28):

Alright, I’m gonna do the hook and then you’re going to.

Scott Patton (00:34):

We’re live, but we’re talking anyways, so might as well come here.

Jay Conner (00:37):

Who cares.

Scott Patton (00:37):

That’s right. So you’re going to do your amazing hook and then there’s going to be this beautiful boom picture video come on for like two seconds or three seconds or five seconds. And then you’re going to start.

Jay Conner (00:50):

Okay. That’s the video you’re going to play, you somewhat play the video. I don’t know what you’re talking about. You talking about the one that was normally first.

Jay Conner (00:59):

Wow. Okay. I’m ready. Maybe we got some folks watching our craziness here on the left.

Scott Patton (01:07):

Three people.

Jay Conner (01:07):

Hey, everybody it’s like, I’m getting my act together here. I’m trying to get over COVID okay. All right here we go.

Scott Patton (01:15):

I have no excuse.

Jay Conner (01:19):

So, Tell me when to go, Scott.

Scott Patton (01:20):

Alright, here we go. Five, four, three.

Jay Conner (01:27):

If you’re interested in learning, step-by-step how I made $89,000 profit on my most recent real estate deal. Stay tuned.

Jay Conner (01:46):

Well, all right folks, I have got a present for you. That’s right. Just for tuning in ere you may be watching on the live stream, or you may be watching us on YouTube, or you may be listening to us on iTunes, Google play, whatever. Doesn’t matter how you’re tuning in I’m Jay Conner the Private Money Authority, and I’ve got a gift for you. And that is as, if you are interested in getting funding for your deals without relying on banks, without relying on any kind of institutional money, then I have got a free two week trial for you to come check me out at the Private Money Academy membership. And at the Academy membership, we go live twice a month on Zoom coaching calls. And we’ve got right now almost 200 Private Money Academy members. And we interview my successful students. Talk about how we find deals, how we got our deals funded and et cetera.

Jay Conner (02:45):

So here’s how you can come join the party. In fact, if you’re watching live, the very next one is tomorrow afternoon, Wednesday at 4:00 PM Eastern time. And here’s how you can get invited get right on over folks to after finished to www.JayConner.com/Trial. If you’re brand new to the show Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, we talk about all things that relate to real estate investing. We talked about single family deals, commercial deals, self storage land, and all the above and all the below. So listen folks, if you’re brand new and we really appreciate it for you to subscribe, rate and review, like and share if you’re on YouTube, be sure to subscribe and hit that little ring, that little bell button so that when we go live, you don’t miss out on all this Real Estate Investing education.

Jay Conner (03:53):

Again, if you’re new, the reason I’m known as the Private Money Authority is because from 2003 to 2009, when Carol joy and I started investing in single family houses, we’ve rehabbed over 400 of them now, here in Eastern North Carolina, I relied on local banks and mortgage companies to fund our deals for the first six years. And in January, 2009, I got cut off from the banks with no notice along with the rest of the world. So I had to find a better way. And I was introduced to this wonderful world of Private Money, which again, it’s got nothing to do with banks, nothing to do with any kind of institutional money. It’s got nothing to do with hard money. I’m not talking hard money. I’m talking private, private money, which is very, very different. So I’ve got Carol Joy, I’ve got 40 some private lenders right now funding our deals.

Jay Conner (04:46):

And we always come home with a big check. When we buy a house, we never have to take any of our own money to closing. So again, if you want to learn those types of techniques and strategies, when we finish, get and come on over to the free trial again at www.JayConner.com/Trial. What’s on today’s show? We are talking deals to be specific. We’re talking about a specific deal. So when I opened up, I said to stay tuned. If you’re interested in learning how I am making I’m in the process of making $89,000 profit, less carrying cost on this particular house. So first I want to give you the numbers on this deal. So the house is located right here in Pando Shores at 108 Fern court, So let’s go over the numbers first.

Jay Conner (05:41):

So if we’re watching there on the video, Scott, I’m gonna let you put the numbers up in the order that we went over them. So I want you all to be taking notes and writing this down. So I bought this house beautiful home over in the resort area over on the Island. I just purchased it and listen, folks. I just bought this house three weeks ago tomorrow. I’ve had it less than three weeks and we’re going to be finishing the rehab. My crew leader just told me next week. So we bought it for 266,000, the rehab right around $20,000. So this is not a big, huge, you know, I mean, this is all cosmetic. We’re putting down brand new luxury vinyl plank flooring throughout the house. No carpet, no carpet whatsoever, all new luxury vinyl plank there’s beautiful tile in the kitchen that we’re going to keep.

Jay Conner (06:40):

The home is not that old. It was recently just built a few years ago. It’s got really, really high end granite countertops that we don’t have to touch. So we’re doing only flooring throughout. The square footage on this home is right around 1600 square feet or so. We’re doing all new interior paint my lands! they did have some outlandish colors going on in this house. So we’re doing only paint. And of course I don’t pick out the paint, Carol Joy don’t pick out the paint. We got Beth Garner, our interior designer. That’s been with us ever since 2004. She picks out all the colors. The cabinets are really nice, high-end cabinets in this house. But the, it looked like the paint had faded. I mean, the canbinets almost looked like a little dingy yellow. I don’t know what was going on.

Jay Conner (07:36):

So we’re just painting those cabinets, white. And again the, I mean, those are the major items we’re doing all new light fixtures, all new switch plates, new vent covers, we’re painting the garage floor. We paint all of our garage floors and they look brand new. So again, it’s gonna be a quick rehab, bought it for 266. Rehab is right around 20. In fact, it could end up being closer to 15. I don’t think we’re going to hit 20, but Murphy shows up in every house, right? The after repaired value, the ARD, the after repaired value on this house is $375,000. So let’s run these numbers and see what it looks like. So our next numbers, let’s just pretend that I hadn’t bought this house yet. So let’s go over what the maximum allowable offer would be on this house.

Jay Conner (08:31):

So remember you’re using, we only use Mayo maximum level of offer when you are paying all cash for a house. So the maximum allowable offer to figure out what’s the most you would pay for this house. You take the ARD the after repaired value. And when the ARD is over $300,000, we multiply times 80%. Now, when the ARD is under 300,000, we multiply times 70 percent, right? So we take 375,000, that’s the after repaired value. And you know, our definition of after repaired value is this home is going to look brand new. We’re going to have new landscaping upfront, absolutely beautiful. So you take 375,000 multiply that time 80% because the ARD the 375 is higher than 300, that equals $300,000. Now we’re figuring up what would be our maximum offer on this house. Then we take the 300,000 and you subtract the repairs.

Jay Conner (09:32):

So our repairs on the high end are going to be around 20. So we subtract 20 away from the previous number. Now, the maximum allowable offer is $280,000, but we’re not finished. I never offer Mayo. Does Murphy live in every house? Yes, Murphy lives in every house. Sometimes Murphy’s cousins, grandparents show up. And you know what I’m talking about, I’m talking about the unexpected repairs that you didn’t count on. So I was buffering at least an additional $10,000 on any house that I’m buying to make sure I’m covering the unexpected. Then that actually gives me what’s the most I would pay. So the most I would pay would be 270,000. Remember that Mayo maximum level offer was 280,000, less than additional 10 to 70 would be the most I’d pay. And how much did I pay? 266,000. So I actually paid $4,000 less than what my formula calls for.

Jay Conner (10:39):

So I actually have $14,000 built in here in this deal for the unexpected. So there’s the numbers. So now let’s talk, talk about how so that’s right. $89,000 is the profit. And of course, do you have to subtract carrying costs, which are private lender, you know, interest, insurance taxes, I don’t know, number to put in exactly procuring cost. Cause I don’t know exactly how long I’m going to have this house, but my exit strategy is I’m going to put her in the multiple listing service and sell it like that. In this hot market. My lands inventory is so, so scarce, I mean, I just put a house on the market last week, over here in Beaufort, small house, 1,350 square feet. I put it in the market for 239,900 in two hours. We had four showings already scheduled, lined up. And the offer that I got was actually more than the list price.

Jay Conner (11:37):

In fact, I never had an offer like this. They said, I you’ll accepted our offer. When we get the home inspection done anything that costs less than a thousand dollars, we want to ask you to fix it or do anything. Well, they shouldn’t find much of anything cause it was a complete rehab. Back to Fern Court. How did I find deal? Using my Foreclosure System, using my Foreclosure System? What in the world is that? my Foreclosure System is a system that Carol Joy and I started putting together back in 2004 where we track every foreclosure open file in our target market, here in Eastern North Carolina. Well, this we were tracking, this is one of the open files. And so the people there was another bid. So the bank had an opening bid, then somebody else bid and they won the bid. Well, here in North Carolina, we have this thing called the 10 day upset period.

Jay Conner (12:36):

And so that means anybody within 10 calendar days can come in, upset the bid by at least 5%. And that just goes on to infinity until everybody stops bidding. So I upset their bid and I’m sure it made them upset, right? So anyway, I upset their bid and they did not come back and upset my bid. So we were the winning bidder on this house. So again, using my Foreclosure System, we were able to track all that and not miss out on any opportunities. Now, how did I fund this deal? Private money. You see you may be familiar with buying a house subject to the existing note. Couldn’t buy this house subject to the existing note because it was vacant. It’s already gone through the foreclosure process. And the only way that you can buy the foreclosures like this is you’ve got to have all the cash lined up, ready to buy.

Jay Conner (13:33):

So if I didn’t have private money sitting on the shelf ready to go from one of my private lenders, I would have missed out on this deal. So I had to close within 10 days. And of course that’s more than plenty of time when you’re working in this world of private money to get your deal funded. So lessons learned had to have private money ready to go. I used my tracking system, the Foreclosure System, not to miss out on this deal. And then when it comes to the rehab, if you’re going to be doing any rehabbing, you’ve got to have a relationship with fantastic general contractor or general contractors. Now in mine Carol Joy’s world, we work with general contractors and we have our own crews as well that have been working with us. This particular house is being rehabbed by one of our crews.

Jay Conner (14:29):

But if you’re just starting out, don’t get your own crew. You want to do business with a general contractor. That’s proven to have an excellent reputation. So there you have it folks, 108 Fern Court, $89,000, profit, less the carrying costs. And I see we’ve had a question come in here from, hello, Jesse. So glad to have you here on the show. Jesse says, have you ever used Fund and Grow zero interest business credit cards and Jesse, Yes. A long time ago. In fact, I know the founder of that company, Mike Banks, he and I are in a Mastermind group together. And they really are a good company. They’re a good company to work with. One downside is, is there is going to be a limit to the amount of money Jessie that you can get. Here in this world of Private Money, there is no limit to the number of lenders you can do business with.

Jay Conner (15:28):

There’s no limit to the amount of money that you can borrow. So, excellent question, Jesse. Thank you for chiming in there. There you have it folks. 108 Fern Court, $89,000, profit, less carrying costs. And again, I’d love for you all to come join me a couple of times a month in the Private Money Academy membership. And you can get right on right where they are right now. Since we’re wrapping up this show right now to www.JayConner.com/Trial. You all have a good one. I’m Jay Conner, the Private Money Authority wishing you all the best and here’s to taking your Real Estate Investing business to the next level. I’ll see you on the next Zoom coaching call for Private Money Academy membership attendees. See you there on the inside.

#Jay Conner #Private Money Lender #Real Estate Business #Real Estate #Real Estate Investing #Real Estate Investor #Real Estate Profit #The Money Private Authority

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