#the fic is set on a role reversal au

[josephscoat]

hoooo boy, i have two :)

wife's pov

am i the asshole for divorcing my husband of 10 years after he became disabled (mute) and developed a drinking problem when he returned home from fighting in a war for 4 years?

husband's pov

am i the asshole for ending my marrige of 10 years with my wife since she's in denial of me being mute and brushes off the pain i've experienced from being in the trenches for 4 years, so for the lack of sympathy i get from the only person in my support system, i turn to drinking so i could at least sleep at night?

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[fezwearingjellybananas]

I think I have an idea for the July Year of the OTP prompt which involves going back and reading Bombshells oh what a terrible shame

Still no ideas for June. May has been written for over a month I had fantasy AU and flower language put in front of me and whacked out some words pretty quickly. I don't know how many words because they're all in one document so I can pretend it's one WIP not 12 (or 9 now)

[scarlethexelove]

Little Devil

Pairing: Angel!Wanda Maximoff x Demon!Reader

Word Count: 2835

Warnings: A little bit of angry Wanda, Blood, Split eyebrow, Start of a bar fight, Cute date, Unexpected cumming, Not really much.

Pt 1, Pt 2

A/n: I need to give the biggest thanks and a whole like of credit to @wandamaximoffsbadgirl She was a major collaborator on this fic. Pretty much writing half of it with me. This is the prequal to Roles Reversed. I have for so long wanted to write more in this AU and with Ley's help I was able to fill in the parts I was struggling with. I definitely have many more thoughts to this AU and hope so share more soon. This is how the two cuties met.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

The night is like any other, the bar is bustling with regulars and a ton of new faces. You own the best bar in town so it's nothing new, but you love it. The interaction with people and getting to do something you love. Wanda walks past the bustling bar but stops in her tracks when she senses that tell tale sign of a demon. What could they be getting up to in such a busy place? She has a bad feeling about this. Rage takes over as she makes haste into the bar.

You're laughing behind the bar with some of the regulars, leaning forward as you laugh at some stupid joke one of them told. You see the door open, rather than hear it, as a beautiful woman walks through. “Hey! Welcome to my bar! What can I start you with?” You call out over the voice and music. Wanda studies you, you seem too nice to be such a wretched demon. She doesn't answer which has you raising your eyebrow. “Whenever you figure out what you want just give me a holler.” You sling your bar rag over your shoulder and get back to some other patrons. Wanda takes a seat at the end of the bar and studies you. Her senses only point you out, but how is she supposed to confront you in front of all these people?

You feel Wanda’s eyes on you and try to ignore it as you get back into your rhythm. Moving around the bar and eventually when she doesn't order anything you set a water in front of her, leaning on the bar. “So what's brought you into my little hole in the wall?” You question the beautiful woman in front of you. She eyes the drink with skepticism and looks back up at you. “Seemed like a busy place.” Was all she said. You feel the hostility and anger pouring off of her. So you just give her a smile and a nod. 

As you notice you're running low on ice you let the other bartender know you're heading to the back to get more. Wanda takes this opportunity to follow you. You didn't notice her following you until you've been pushed into a supply closet. Her arm is pressed against your neck as she pins you against a wall. Her foot kicked the door closed behind her. “What do you think you're doing?” She seethes. You're confused until you catch out of the corner of your eye your tail nervously flicking back and forth. That is when it clicks, she's an angel.

You try to get out of her hold. Are all angels this strong or have you just grown weak? You finally decide it's no use and instead put a hand over hers. “Please calm down and I can explain.” You use your power of taking anger to calm her down. As she became calmer her grip loosened on you until you were able to lower her arm. “Listen, I came here to have a good time. I just want to run my bar and keep out of trouble.” You tried to explain and though her hand didn't come back up again you saw it in her eyes, untrustworthy. “Why should I believe in a demon like you?” She seethes. You raise your hands in surrender.  “Look, you can stick around and watch me if you like, but I have work to do.” You gently squeeze by her to not anger her more. You get the ice and head back to what you were doing. You feel her eyes following you all night. 

“Dude what the fuck!” You hear screaming as a fight breaks out. You quickly jump over the bar and make your way to the fight before it escalates to an all out brawl. You take a punch to the face, splitting your eyebrow, but you get your hands on them and take their anger and de-escalating the situation. “Break it up boys. If you wanna fight, it won't be in my bar.” Wanda almost jumps up as she watches the blood run down and into your eye, forcing you to close it. She grips tightly onto the bar as she fights her body on running to you. Once the two guys apologize and everything settles you head to your office with the rag over the wound, holding it. 

Wanda once again slips past and follows behind you. As you sit down in your chair she stands in the doorway. You look up at her from your seat. “Yes?” She rolls her eyes at how you fail to even help yourself. “Let me.” She takes the rag and forces your face up so that she can clean you up.

It's silent as she patches you up. “That was stupid of you.” You look at her bewildered. “Was I supposed to let an all out brawl happen?” Wanda huffs a little knowing you're right. “No, but you didn't have to take the punch…” She holds onto your face after patching you up. Looking over your features for a moment longer before you ask. “Do you wanna go out sometime?” It spills out of your mouth before you can stop it. 

Fear crosses your face as you realize what you said. You had never been so close to an angel. You had heard of their beauty but she was far more beautiful than you had ever expected. “You don't even know my name sweetheart.” Wanda pats your cheek and walks away with a wink. She takes her place back at the bar as you sit there dumbfounded. “Shit.” You mumble as you scramble back out to the bar.

You spend a good chunk of the evening stumbling over your words in front of her. As the night progresses and she talks with you she wonders why she was ever worried in the first place. As you stumble over yourself once more Wanda interrupts you. “Wanda.” Your brow furrows. “Huh?” You question. She chuckles at you. “Wanda. My name. You still haven't asked it.” Your face goes completely red as a smirk appears on her face. “O-oh...I'm y/n.” A chuckle rolls out of her mouth and you get butterflies at how beautiful it sounds. “I figured that out since this is ‘Y/N's bar’.” She reminds you and somehow your face turns more red.

As the night draws to a close and most people have left Wanda watches as you clean up. Her chin is  propped on her hand. “I'll pick you up at 7.” You look up from where you are cleaning. “W-what?” She chuckles. “For our date. I'll pick you up at 7.” Wanda leans over the bar and kisses your cheek before she walks out the bar. Her hips sway as your cheeks turn red and your mouth hangs open. But you recover running after her. “You don't know where I live.” You call after her. She turns around with a raised brow waiting for you to tell her. You ramble off your address for her before she walks away into the night leaving you shocked and excited.

You wake up excited and ready the moment your eyes open. As the day progresses you worry slightly which turns bigger and bigger as the time gets closer. You're all dressed up and ready as you pace back and forth. What if she was just fucking with you? What if she didn't actually want to go out with you? Wasn't she supposed to hate you? Angels and demons aren't meant to be together but what if you can. You have never been like the others, your brothers were some of the best out there but you loved humans, so maybe this would be okay.

7 rolls around and you are anxiously waiting outside for Wanda. To your surprise she pulls up in a red car. You don't know how she could look more beautiful but she does. “Wo-wow.” Was all you could stutter out.She smiles at you. “Come on get in I made reservations.” You do as told and get in. “Reservations?” You ask on the way. “Oh yeah I know the owner of this place. A really nice place and told him I needed a table tonight for a date. He happily found me a spot.” You blush realizing she had planned things out and your worries started to melt away.

When you get there your jaw drops in shock at the place. You have heard about it and how amazing the food is. You have tried to get a reservation for months and couldn't get in. Wanda sees your surprise and grabs your hand. “Come on pretty girl.” You can't help but blush as she pulls you forward. “Wanda you didn't have to.” You breathe out as she opens the door for you to head inside. “I wanted a sweetheart.” She walks to the hostess and whispers in her ear. You feel shy and awkward as you wait to be seated.

Wanda just met you yesterday and she was willing to do all this and all the nicknames and compliments had your head swimming already. Wanda is already loving how easy it is to fluster you. You aren't like any other demon she has met. So intriguing, soft, and she can tell so submissive. 

Wanda takes your hand again and leads you to your seat which is one of the best in the restaurant. She pulls out the chair for you which surprises you but you sit. She rounds the table and sits across from you. At first you're so nervous and shy but as time passes you start to loosen up. A very stark contrast to the person behind the bar last night. The conversations are easy and two hours doesn't feel like two hours as you finish a shared piece of cake. It's a huge serving and so sweet you almost feel it rot your teeth, but you loved it. The way her face lit up at every bite she was taking of it was worth it. You let her have the last bite as the waitress comes back with her card.

“Thank you Wanda.” Your voice is low and soft. You look down as another blush covers your face. Wanda hooks her finger under your chin to make you look at her. She has a soft smile on her face as she speaks. “You are so welcome detka. Now let's get you home.” You smile and nod. The both of you make your way out of the restaurant and Wanda drives you home. This has been one of the best nights of your life and you desperately don't want it to end.

When you get to the door of your house you chew on your lip a moment before asking. “Do you want to come in?” Wanda smiles sweetly at you. “I'd love to continue this date.” You can't help but get giddy and a little bit of a happy jump as you open the door. Wanda finds your excitement adorable as she follows you inside. Your home is very cozy, not something you would expect from a demon but it's so very you.  “This is very cute sweetheart.” You smile. “Thank you Wands.” You test the nick name a bit hesitant but when she smiles at you in approval it makes you that much more giddy.

You both get comfortable on the couch and start talking. Eventually the topic of your features comes up. “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” Wanda says making you blush as your tail comes out, flicking back and forth slowly and your horns come out. Wanda does this, almost shake as her wings come out. Bright beautiful white looking so soft to the touch. You don't know how she keeps doing it but the more you see the more beautiful she becomes. You're hesitant to ask and you can feel your fingers twitch in a need to just feel them. She notices and smiles. “You can touch them if you like, but if you do I want to feel your horns.” Like most of the night your blush intensifies. “Deal, but uh my horns can be a bit sensitive.” You tell her.

Wanda raises an eyebrow at you. “Sensitive, hm?” She asks not giving you time to answer as her fingers brush lightly over them. You feel your body heat up, leaning into her touch as your mouth falls open, a small moan leaving your lips. Wanda bites her lip at the sound, a demon had never sounded more angelic.

Wanda is surprised by the softness of your horns. She expected them to be rough but the smoothness to them is nice as she runs her fingers up and down the ridges. As her fingers dance across them you feel your breath quicken as your chest turns the same color as your cheeks. It all feels too much but oh so good at the same time. Your mind is growing fuzzy at how good it feels. 

It had been so long since the last time you felt like this, but you knew this fuzzy headspace you were being put in. “W-Wands…” You manage out, your pleas going unheard as she carries on stroking your horns, your hot breath filling the space between you two and then it slips out. “Mommy please…” 

“Yes little devil.” Wanda hums her response but she is still so entranced by how beautiful your horns really are that she doesn't fully register the situation. And by the time she does it's too late. You let out a whimper and moan as you cum unexpectedly. Your eyes shut as your thighs tremble slightly. Wanda instinctively wraps her wings around you in a protective manner. It isn't until you feel her wings around you as you come down that it sinks in exactly what just happened. “O-oh my god.” You pull back from her. “I-I'm so sorry. Fuck.” You can't help but feel tears filling your eyes at the thought of ruining everything.

Wanda pulls you closer, her wings wrapping around you. “Shhh dorogaya you've done nothing wrong.” She soothes you by rubbing your back. You feel so warm and safe in her arms. You wonder for a moment if she could take your worries away because it certainly feels like she has. 

“I-I didn't know that would happen. It's never happened before.” You mumble against her. Wanda gently pulls you back so she can look at you, her wings still around you in a protective embrace. She cups your cheek and uses her thumb to brush away a stray tear that had fallen. “If I'm honest, I found that super hot.” You should be over her boldness by now but it still shocks you as your whole face heats up now. She can't help but chuckle at your current state. “How about we get you cleaned up and we can maybe continue this date with a movie? How does that sound?” You nod with excitement. “That sounds amazing Wands.” 

As you're about to break apart Wanda speaks up. “I loved it when you called me Mommy.” Everytime you think you're done blushing she's turning you a new shade of red. You can't even look at her as you ask. “Y-you did?” She pulls your chin back up to look at her. “Yes detka. I did.” A smile spreads across your face. Your tail flicking and hitting against her wings. 

Wanda leans in kissing you. You melt into her instantly. This must be what people mean when they say they felt fireworks. Your kiss with Wanda ignites something new within you. It's like nothing you have ever felt before. When you finally pull apart Wanda smirks at you. “Don't think I've ever made someone cum before I kissed them before.” You whine and hide your face in her neck as she chuckles, getting the two of you up and putting her wings away so as to not knock anything over as you two go to the bathroom to clean you up. Wanda is so good about it and helps get you out of the clothes you had picked out for dinner and into some comfy pajamas. You offer her some which she happily takes. 

The two of you decide to stay in your room and watch a movie on your bed. Wanda's wings coming back out and wrapping around you like a blanket. Wanda insists that your horns stay out even though you're worried about hurting her with them. She wants you to be you in your own home. No need to hide away or worry with her.  She has already made up her mind that she will protect you no matter what.

She never expected walking into that bar last night would lead to you but here you are. A demon like no other, the perfect missing piece to her puzzle.

[within-ur-intro-verse]

Favorite Complete Canon Setting Joongdok Fics

One-shots

oh, how you've made me a fool by aevum; 1,602 words, Rated: Gen; YJH realizes during an encounter with Asmodeus that KDJ is pretty and has a crisis.

how the mighty fall (in love) by Anonymous; 6,335 words, Rated: Teen; In which YJH confuses sexual tension with anger issues when it comes to KDJ.

Some things are meant to be by Anonymous; 13,432 words, Rated: Teen; Yoo Joonghyuk remembers round zero and assumes his sponsor has taken another incarnation, namely Kim Dokja, behind his back. Yoo Joonghyuk is not bitter about it (he is).

[sub-scenario — hellsent guardian angel] by Anonymous; 6,203 words, Rated: Teen; ABO AU - KDJ’s irregular heat strikes during the apocalypse. Without a companion to help him, KDJ channels it out through indiscriminate carnage.

"I am not a model," Kim Dokja lied. by aynchent; 6,615 words, Rated: Teen; KDJ gets roped into modeling for a beauty competition scenario.

have you no idea that you're in deep by blerghie; 3,111 words, Rated: Teen; YJH unknowingly meets the Goddess of Love & Beauty who has taken the form of KDJ.

A Bleeding Heart Is A Beating Heart by brannrice; 6,241 words, Rated: Mature; KDJ is in every one of YJH's regression rounds, from the 3rd to the last.

a tilt of the axis mundi by lady_peony; 1,245 words, Rated: Teen; YJH takes the Absolute Throne with KDJ as his consort.

'Be my Queen' by Mosspool13; 1,953 words, Rated: Teen; YJH becomes KDJ's Queen during the Absolute Throne arc.

Why do you keep talking about my looks?! by NurikoEsuki; 6,393 words, Rated: Teen; YJH can read KDJ's mind when he thinks about his looks.

because companions kiss a lot by oronine; 4,408 words, Rated: Teen; Uriel matchmakes Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk with a scenario. It works.

self-rationalisation by oronine; 5,843 words, Rated: Teen; YJH meets KDJ in the body of a child and realizes a few things about their past.

Silver Poplars by ritterlich; 6,955 words, Rated: Teen; Post-canon - KDJ returns from being constellation-ed without his memories except his name and YJH finds him three years later.

A Thorny Embrace by Sabby___writ12; 12,741 words, Unrated; A mandatory scenario leads to Yoo Joonghyuk travelling through Kim Dokja's worst memories and seeing who his Life and Death companion truly is.

Kim Dokja Can Sing?! by SkylerSkyhigh; 5,948 words, Rated: Gen; KimCom has accidentally triggered a hidden scenario with a harsh penalty. Can they survive the scenario without losing their voice?

Hands of God by spoonks; 4,524 words, Rated: Gen; KDJ's old apartment survives the apocalypse. KimCom goes and finds a binder of KDJ's drawings.

On the Tip of My Tongue by spoonks; 4,808 words, Rated: Gen; KDJ was born an empath where he can taste emotions. It makes eating difficult.

can wait for you at the bottom by trainerlyra; 10,490 words, Rated: Teen;  KDJ goes off on his own again, and when he comes back, he's noticeably different. YJH isn't sure how to deal with this.

sponsor and incarnation by Umbalt; 4,147 words, Rated: Gen; Post-canon - The epilogue finally begins in earnest, and YJH gets to ask KDJ his final question.

through the looking-glass by unluckyolive; 10,300 words, Rated: Teen; The Fourth Wall comes down. Kim Dokja realizes he’s been relying on it more than he thought.

bet i made you look by venividivici; 3,303 words, Rated: Teen; Where KDJ was a supermodel before the apocalypse.

you got me starstruck by virotutis; 3,680 words, Rated: Teen; Idol KDJ whose songs were about YJH's regression turns.

skills aren’t everything (well they are to me) by��wonrkive; 4,117 words, Rated: Teen; What happens when you’re so emotionally repressed? The universe has to step in and play therapist for you.

the volatile truth of white lies by zxrysky; 5,438 words, Rated: Mature; Role Reversal AU - where YJH incarnates in the world of TWSA/ORV as a reader of the ORV novel.

Multi-chapter/Series

Voiceless Emotions Echoing in the Night by Akeara4; Multi-chapter (9,787 words), Rated: Explicit; KDJ & YJH get trapped in the Dark Fault for 300 days. When their relationship starts progressing, they avoid talking about it. It keeps progressing anyway.

and loathed is he who curses the warmth of the sky, whilst he should be so cruelly shackled with ice by Anonymous; Multi-chapter (10,788 words), Rated: Explicit; YJH is able to drag KDJ through regressions with him.

tell-tale heart beats and beats by Anonymous; Multi-chapter (24,777 words), Rated: Teen; a scenario takes KimCom into KDJ's first meeting with one of its members (spoilers: it's YJH).

You make me wanna live forever by Anonymous; Multi-chapter (143,024 words), Rated: Teen; Role Reversal AU - Regressor KDJ and Reader/Fan YJH.

Brilliant Tapestry by A_simple_Cookie, Moreta; Series - Story 1 (Discontinued - 70,180 words; Rated: Mature) & Story 2 (Complete - 6,050 words; Rated: Teen); Joongdok were boyfriends before the apocalypse.

Derealization by Frill; Multi-chapter (121,356 words), Rated: Teen; KDJ is a spy that find himself isekai'd into the TWSA-verse as the scenarios began.

[Message from the Universe: Kim Dokja Must Die] by jarofclay; Multi-chapter (27,291 words), Rated: Explicit; A tragicomedic Final Destination-esque story featuring one dreamer in distress, his personal hero and his rightfully anxious family.

can't keep my hands to myself by LethalBookshelves; Series - Story 1 (Complete, Rated: G - 3,165 words), Story 2 (Complete, Rated: G - 4,261 words), Story 3 (Complete, Rated: T - 5,071 words); YJH can't figure out why KDJ is called ugly.

The cost of life by Mayura_Slay, Moreta, Watching_fromabove; Multi-chapter (Discontinued - 63,770 words), Rated: Teen; KDJ and YSA starts out the apocalypse ate Minosoft. The events take place during the 999th Regression.

Is this normal? by Moreta; Multi-chapter (9,332 words), Rated: Teen; 1863!YJH transports into reality and walks into Minosoft covered in blood.

Now you know by Moreta; Multi-chapter (5,946 words), Rated: Teen; What if YJH actually used the Affection Reader when fate got placed on KDJ?

devil's manner by oronine; Multi-chapter (5,274 words), Rated: Teen; Yandere!KDJ - if Kim Dokja grew up a little different.

Repose by Waltzfor-Zizi (azro_zee); 6,783 words, Rated: Teen; Post-canon - In which KDJ feared the silence, and YJH was reminded that the lull could be a little scary.

Meetings by WindsOfTime; Series, Rated: Teen, Story 1 (39,658 words) and Story 2 (67,592 words); What canon could have been if Midday Tryst had been used more often.

Tangible Things by wyrvel; Series - Story 1 (Complete, Rated: G - 2,967 words), Story 2 (Complete, Rated: E - 3,870 words), Story 3 (Complete, Rated E - 7,710 words); Joonghyuk relationship during the apocalypse.

seldom the ghost returns by yamscooper; Multi-chapter (31,619 words), Rated: Teen; Post-canon - KDJ is hallucinating seeing OD everywhere.

[aethon-recs]

This Week in Tomarrymort (4 – 10 October 2024)

Another week chock-full of updates! October is always such a rich and amazingly productive month in fandom, with such an explosion of new ideas and fics with the many prompt challenges going on. And a few more @tomarrybigbang fics as well! 

As with last week, please feel free to add some extra context to your fic update in the reblog, like a little bit about the chapter(s) updated. For this format of weekly list, there’s no space to add a summary or extra info about the fics, so I’ll rely on the authors to share a bit more about their updates, if you’re so inclined! 🤍

A recap of the author notes from last week:

such unholy heaving by @cealesti (M, 10k, WIP) “A horror/suspense F/F Tomarry fic set in a D&D-inspired fantasy setting.” These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain (M, 28k, WIP) “GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, Harry Potter should not drink alcoholic beverages while resurrecting Lord Voldemort because of the risk of...everything. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to operate Deathly Hallows, and may cause, er, problems. Aka, Harry gets hammered and decides it's a great idea to drunk "text" (i.e., summon) Voldemort with the Stone. Voldemort isn't one to pass up an opportunity to exploit vulnerability for personal gain.��� Do It Over by @thefangirlibrarian (T, 46k, WIP) “A depressed postwar Harry has taken Death's hand, reunited with the horcrux he mourned, and traveled into his own past Now he wakes up on the morning of his eleventh birthday, ready to do things differently this time. He has no grand plans, just the instinct to be close to the man whose soul he shares.” Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic (E, 18k, WIP) “A role reversal AU! In this latest chapter, Tom tells a scary story for Halloween to get Harry hot and bothered.” on line sex & rabbit stew by @izharmilgram (E, 3k, complete) “Includes time-travelling Professor Harry Potter, phone sex in the 1950s, horcrux shenanigans, parseltongue, Tom being sexually frustrated... fun stuff.” The Brief Fiery Plummets by @thefangirlibrarian (T, 1k, WIP) “A series of 100-word drabbles exploring different moments Harry might have woken up in after traveling back to the past in When the Weight is Gone.” forgive me father by @cindle-writes (E, 2k, complete) “A PWP one-shot where Tom sneaks into Harry's bed while he's sleeping and seduces him, featuring adoptive father Harry and shota boypussy Tom.”

*

Tomarrymort One Shots and Completed Fic

Chapter 15 (Completed) of Just Business by @holaolla1

One Shot | family friends by @reggieblk

One Shot | young lust by @xodahafez

One Shot | the precarity of virgin souls by @izharmilgram

One Shot | roughly, dry and painful by @2sidesofthesamesoul

One Shot | don’t wake me (i’m not dreaming) by @dreaming-in-the-dark

One Shot | The Sweetness of Your Tears by @v33r00

One Shot | sleeping with ghosts by @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts

One Shot | Newly Forged by @obsidianpen

One Shot | bad guy by @circleofplanets

One Shot | nineteen (ever so priceless) by @midsummersins

One Shot | Consequences of Murder by @penrot

*

Tomarrymort Ongoing Fics

Chapter 3 of friend of the devil (a friend of mine) by @shyinsunlight

Chapter 37 of Part One - The Solitude of Suffering by @iseliljathedreamer

Chapter 63 of Holly & Yew by @lovely-lotus

Chapter 7 of Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic

Chapter 15 of Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva

Chapter 1 of it’s hard being casual by sansaerys

Chapter 12 of Saint Harry by @alenablack @chaos-bear

Chapter 9 of Ills of Murder by @shadow-of-the-eclipse

Chapter 3 of a pound of flesh by @ictyn

Chapter 7 of Hole in the Wall by tomrddle

Chapter 11 of Aphelion by TimaeusKosmou

Chapter 36 of Seeing Sand by @valkyrie-chemist

Chapter 14 of the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3

Chapter 2 of Lunacy by @crowcrowcrowthing

Chapters 1 and 2 of What quickens me is the violence in thee by @i-dream-of-libraries

Chapter 1 of The Sacred Art Of Repression by @goldenzingy46

Chapter 2 of such unholy heaving by @cealesti

Chapters 5 through 7 of The Brief Fiery Plummets by @thefangirlibrarian

Chapter 4 of Fate's Coffin by @noxxytocin

Chapter 1 of Infinite by @moontearpensfic

Chapter 5 of i am anonymous, you are a concrete wall by Pensievable

Chapter 1 of Plague by @a-sentimental-man

Chapter 5 of Forbidden Darkness by @neurowriter14

Chapter 4 of Memories of a Killer by @chemfreak89

Chapter 1 of the alchemy by @cindle-writes

Chapters 126 and 127 of Liquida Tenebris (Remastered) by @dymis

Chapter 1 of despite everything, it's still you by @boromirsayshi

Chapter 8 of all you do is kill, love snakes, and lie by @soopsiedaisies

*

[bokutoasavillain]

Hello! Could you recommend your favorite System fanfictions?

I have put this off for so long bc I have so many that I love and making a list that big seemed terrifying but I love sharing fanfics so here’s my best attempt <3

Bingqiu:

Tale Within A Tale

Rated T, It is so good!! The concept is so clever and it is such a satisfying read<33

it's you I find like a ghost in my mind

Rated M, a great identity reveal with a lot of dreamsharing

Treading Well-Worn Paths

Rated T, post-canon sqq turns into a kid and yqy and lbh look after him. I cannot tell you how I love this. The characterization, the dynamics, the identity reveal are all so perfect. Everything progresses so naturally and it is so good. The ending is a bit bittersweet and honestly it’s so fitting and just read this it’s perfect

We Are Not Wise

Rated T, in an au where cultivators draw their swords from their souls, sj takes in sy (a bit of blackmailing included). Sy and lbh are both disciples and soulmates. The focus is more on the relationship between sy and sj and it’s probably one of my favorite ways their relationship is portrayed. It is heavier on the angst and I was crying. It is so beautiful <33

The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known

Rated T, such a sweet and lighthearted post-canon truth spell fic <33

side effects may include indefinite photosensitivity

This is a three part series taking place post-canon. It’s about relationship development and also character development bc these two are so so young and have so much time to still grow. It is so sweet and also has some genderqueer bingqiu (as a treat)

Also one of my favorite quotes ever that still makes me cry to this day:

“I think I am mourning something that never existed to begin with,” […]“I think I am the thing that never existed to begin with.” (It’s in the third fic)

lonely little heartbeat

Rated E, lbh reverse transmigrates at 15 (I don’t want to spoil it but it’s great)

colored bright green

Rated T, Binghe also transmigrates to pidw and finds out he’s not the only one! It’s a slow burn and so sweet

Now Entering Incognito Mode!

Rated E, sqq flees cqms while lbh is in the abyss and he meets a mysterious young lady, I don’t want to spoil this it is soooo good!!!

I'll make the world safe and sound for you

Rated M, babytrapping (kinda?) its sweet and beautiful

go with the flow

Rated T, no plot just sweet post-canon husbands

End Racism in the OTW -- Infinite First Dates

Rated M, set during the five years sqq is dead, a lot of dream sharing. It’s really fun and lovely and just perfect <33

Type Casting

Rated E, oh god this one is soooo good!! What if sqqs mushroom body was that of a woman? And what if he didn’t remember his death?? And what if he himself assigned himself the role of the female lead bc well she’s a woman now so she obviously has to marry lbh right? Right???

Also sqqs inner monologue is so perfect and so good!!!!

I love this one so much pleeeeaase read it!!

the adventure of tiny bing

Rated E, tiny bingbing!! They’re friends and husbands and silly your honor

Error 404: Shizun Not Found?

Rated M, such a unique concept done so well

Promise Me Your Heart

Rated T, such a sweet and so underrated fic! I love it so much it fills me with all the mushy sweet feelings and it’s so tender and romantic and just sooo sweet <33

We’ll Meet While Rain is Falling

Rated E, amnesia that gets fixed by you guessed it papapa!! (It’s really sweet and tender)

Size Empress

Rated E, genderqueer sqq has a dream and well it progresses really well

Benign Deviations

Rated M, Bingge and Bingmei switch places and it’s amazing

shallow water weather

Rated T, MERMAID BINGQIU!! It’s so good (also anything my nyoomerr is amazing so read them all)

continued

Rated T, this one is really hard to describe so just go and read it it’s so fun and hilarious

To Boil a Frog

Rated M, the narrator in this one is so good and fun and overall it’s great

a gentler lesson

Rated T, KISSES!! SOO MANY KISSES!!!!

I (immortal, M) think I might be developing feelings for my roommate (27M). Help!!!

Rated M, so stupid so good just what it says in the title

A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House

Rated T, I just really love this one! Definitely so worth reading (I might have read it twice)

open my lungs to let you in

Rated T, also one I’ve reread a few times

Can't we just skip to the end?

Rated E, time travel baby! This and the sequels are so good!!

night of yearning

Rated E, lbh gets selective amnesia, this absolutely destroyed my soul

As to Me, As to You

Rated T, such an amazing concept with so much potential for future shenanigans and overall so satisfying

right from the start, I gave you my heart

Rated T, sqq is under an obedience curse when the jinlan reunion happens what could possibly go wrong?

Cumplane:

slow dance with you

Rated T, Kissies<33

I've got $400 and a really bad idea

Rated T, fake dating hehehe

Cumplane Summary Archive

Rated T, Outsider pov and overall hilarious

huddle for warmth

Rated G, so sweet and funny

Bros before... well everything I guess

Rated T, theyre a family <33

Moshang:

The Pen is Mightier

Rated E, Mbj seducing his husband <33

speak your mind

Rated T, sweet and touch starved

technically our marriage is saved

Rated T, so fun

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Rated T, this is so good! It destroyed me emotionally and just ugh. My notes after reading it: „My chest hurt and oh my god this is perfect and painful and beautiful“

A Child Once

Rated T, post-canon sqh gets deaged and it’s really good

retrograde

Rated T, amnesia and misunderstandings work out

maine nazaron se tujhe chu liya

Rated M, soulmate marks and a bit of mystery (kinda)

If Not You

Rated E, fuck or die and it’s really good. I stayed up reading this until I could not see properly and I was dizzy

Ok this is it! I went through all my bookmarks for this and it took me the entire day. I hope you enjoy and if you ever need anything specific I can probably find it for you<3

[tj-dragonblade]

[FIC] Good Luck Charm

Fandom: The Sandman Pairing: Dreamling Rated: G Word Count: 3059 Tags: MerHob x Human Dream AU, merman Hob, human Dream, canon role reversal, pre-relationship, treating minor injuries, brief inexplicit mention of blood, handwavy marine medical science, including such highly technical terms as 'goo'

Notes: This fills @dreamlingbingo square C2 - Almost Caught combined with October monthly prompt Injury Recovery. This is set within a MerHob AU that I have yet to actually write or publish anything else in; I've done my best to keep it sense-making and easy to follow but there are also notes on the AU at the end, for the curious.

Summary: When Dream's merman friend is late to their usual meeting, Dream is worried. And with good reason, as it turns out.

On AO3

Dream is beginning to worry. His sea-stranger usually shows up just before sunrise when they meet, but sunrise was half an hour ago and there has been no sign of him. Dream paces the ankle-deep water of the cave out in the middle of White Horse Bay, agitation building in his blood; he doesn't know where or how he could even begin to look for his friend if necessary, has no way to contact or find him save meeting here. He doesn't even have a name, let alone any idea where to find others of his friend's kind to ask after him.

He's fairly certain he, being human, would not be well-received regardless.

If something has happened to his friend, odds are Dream will never know. And the thought distresses him.

It's nearing an hour past sunrise when his friend finally surfaces quietly at the mouth of their cave, and the relief Dream feels is immense.

"You're late," he smiles, a gentle tease, but any lightness vanishes as soon as he takes in his friend's expression.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," the merman grits back, his usual bright grin greatly marred by the pain in his face. He doesn't hoist himself into the cave as usual, either. "Ran into a bit of trouble further out. Could use your help, actually." He shifts in the water, floats up on his side, and Dream gasps.

There's a sizeable gash along his friend's left flank, angling behind him, orange scales and blue spots clouded by a sluggishly seeping red. It doesn't look deep, thankfully, and it's maybe half the length of Dream's forearm; plenty big, certainly, but also not as bad as it might have been. "What happened?" he breathes, dropping to sit on the edge of the cave floor, knees tucked into the water next to his friend's injured tail.

"It's stupid, really," the merman says, grimacing as he twists to pull his carry-bag out of the water. It's laden with various types of kelp, Dream sees as it's hoisted onto the barely-submerged rock floor. "Got distracted out past the reef, looking for—well. Wasn't paying attention the way I should and I ran into the fishing nets. While they were being reeled in, mind, and I kind of panicked. Had to cut my way free and I sliced myself in the process." He grins, sheepish and still clearly pained. "Like I said. Stupid."

"Unfortunate, perhaps," Dream offers. "An accidental injury while in fear for one's life is hardly stupid. How do we treat this?"

His friend nods toward the bag, one hand on the rock floor to keep himself anchored as he floats. "Kelp. The fluffy one helps to stop the bleeding and prevent infection; numbs it up a bit too. The lacy one will stick to my scales if it's smeared with the goop in the nodules from the other one. I just can't really reach it properly by myself without another set of hands—ow." He grimaces as he bumps gently against the rock wall next to Dream's knees.

"I'll help, of course," Dream says, immediately. "Tell me what to do?"

"Thank you," his friend says, rolling a little in the water to bring the injury to the surface. "Just burst the little goo pods onto the lacy one and spread it around the edges. Then we put the fluffy one right on the wound and stick the lacy one over it to hold it in place."

"Tell me if I do it wrong," Dream murmurs, sorting the kelp from his friend's bag and doing as instructed. The liquid in the pods is slick and spreads easily, not at all sticky, but he trusts his sea-stranger knows what he's talking about.

"Here, I've got this," the merman says, voice tight as he lays a sprig of the fluffy kelp over his wound, which is still bleeding sluggishly. "Just slap the other over to hold it in place?"

Dream nods, leaning down enough to spread the goo-slathered seaweed over the kelp-covered wound. It adheres immediately to the scaled surface of his friend's tail, and Dream is fascinated despite himself at what must be a natural chemical reaction between the kelp goo and the glyco-protein coating on his merman's scales.

"Thank you," his friend says, as they smooth the 'bandage' into place. "Definitely easier with more hands." He grins, brighter than a moment ago. "Usually I'd have gone to the healer back home but I was already halfway here and later than usual."

Dream is struck by the unspoken sentiment under those words, touched that their meetings are as important to his sea-stranger as they are to him. "I would never fault you for putting your health and personal safety above keeping our appointment," is what he says aloud, though, because that is the most sensible reply.

That bright yellow tail fin flicks in the water and his friend reorients his body upright again, tucks a long tendril of wet hair behind his ear fin and fiddles briefly with the lowest spine of it. "'Course not, but then I wouldn't get to see you until next time. And. And I wouldn't want you to be worried because I didn't come."

"I appreciate that," Dream says, unable to lie about not worrying when he had been fretting incessantly the full hour his friend had been absent. "And I am. Glad, that you were not hurt more seriously." He frowns slightly. "Was that your only injury?"

His friend looks thoughtful, taking mental stock of his body, Dream supposes. A frown mars the merman's forehead and he twists a bit, peering behind. He drops beneath the surface and makes an elegant wriggling loop in the water, flaring his dorsal fin.

"Ah, sharksacs," he mutters, head popping out of the water again. "Tore my backfin, too. That'll be a pain."

Dream can see it, now, the sunny yellow membrane split where it oughtn't be, extending about halfway from the top edge down toward his friend's body, just above where skin turns to scales.

"Does it hurt?"

"A bit, now that I'm aware of it. I would have noticed eventually. It's not bad, but the real trick is to keep it from splitting further while it heals—when it gets down to skin that's when it really hurts."

"Will a kelp bandage not work?"

"Too heavy on the fins—needs to be more flexible, lighter."

"And if you shift into your legs, what happens to the wounds?"

"This one will still be there," he says, gesturing to the bandage they've just applied. "The fin tear will be…it's weird, when I change, my fins disappear but I can still feel them?"

"Phantom fins?" Dream interjects, fascinated, and his friend nods agreement.

"That's a good way to describe it, yes. So I still feel them—but no, they won't be magically healed when I change back."

"Hm." Dream is combing through his mental index of human first aid techniques; surely there must be something he can offer? He's got dissolving sutures courtesy of his sister; he could offer to sew the tear together? Then again, it seems inadvisable to poke several more holes in the delicate membrane with the aim of closing the original wound; he has sudden visions of an entire chunk of sutured fin tearing loose at the stitches. No. But perhaps—

"I might have a solution," he says, leaning to grab his waterproof bag before dropping into the sea next to his friend. "Wait here? I need to retrieve the first aid kit from my boat." And barely waiting for an answer, he strikes out, back to where he's anchored close by. It's quick work to find the first aid kit among his supplies and zip it into his bag, and then he's swimming back round the big rock formation in the bay to their cave.

"You swim fast, for a human," his friend says upon his return, with the same cheeky grin that accompanies those words every time he says them, and Dream can't help his own little smile in return. He hoists himself back onto the cave floor with a bit more effort than it took earlier this morning, thanks to the retreating tide.

"The liquid in these pods," he begins, picking up one of the remaining kelp strings with several nodules still full along its stem. "It reacts with the protective layer on your skin to get sticky, right? Will it do the same on your fin?"

"Yeah, but like I said, the kelp is too heavy and not flexible enough for use on fins."

"I've got something," Dream announces, pulling out his kit and opening it up, "that we can stick across the split, to hold it together? It's meant to dissolve on its own, after four to six weeks in humans. We don't live in water, though, so it may be a lot quicker for you."

"The fin only needs three-four days to heal up, if it doesn't split more," the merman says, leaning up to peer into the kit. "What're you thinking?"

"If we spread the kelp juice along the tear, and set short lengths of the suture thread across it, do you think it would hold without tearing you further, or causing irritation, or any other complications?"

"I don't know for certain, but it's a smart idea, I think—I've seen a healer do something similar with different stuff when a buddy of mine got a fin tear really bad once, yeah. Let's try it."

The water level is perfect, lapping barely above the height of the floor now; Dream is still seated on the edge and his friend is floating sideways in the water again, back turned to Dream with his dorsal fin flared just below the surface. He's gathered his hair out of the way, up over his shoulder, and Dream is shameless in his appreciation for the sculpted skin and muscle inadvertently on display. His friend is built lean and sleek, beautifully toned from a lifetime of swimming; the way the fin rises so prettily from his spine, fans out between its rays in a delicate spray of color against the warm hue of his skin—

"Can you reach it like this?" His friend is glancing back over his shoulder at him.

Dream blinks, feels himself flushing just a little and shifts his focus, sets to work. "Yes." The tear is very much in evidence and Dream bursts one of the seaweed pods, spreads the liquid carefully along the torn edges. He's got several short lengths of the suture thread cut and ready; he gently holds the fin together beneath the water with one hand and starts sticking the threads along the injury, perpendicular to the split.

"Thank you, for trusting me to help," Dream says as he works, because he is not blind to it.

His friend makes a sound that conveys exactly the little smile that's on his face, even if Dream can't see it from behind him. "Thank you for helping," he replies. "Still can't believe I got tangled in the nets. It's embarrassing, a spawning mistake; I know better."

"Everyone has their moments of distraction," Dream offers. "I'm glad you weren't hurt worse." He lays the last suture along the top edge of the fin, and marvels at how well it adheres. "All done. Do you want me to braid your hair, to keep it from getting stuck in the glue?"

"Oh, good idea." His friend rolls and loops beneath the surface, coming upright in the water again with a grimace, one hand pressing briefly at the kelp bandage on his flank and the other still holding his hair forward over his shoulder. "I'll have to let it down again once the goo's set, hide your work so I don't get questions about it, but that would be really smart until then."

That…had not occurred to Dream. "It's not going to get you in trouble, is it? I did not think, I apologize—"

"It'll be fine," the merman assures him, lifting and presenting his gathered hair. "If your thread works like we think it will, I can introduce it to the healer and it'll be one more way we can benefit from the world Above. I just can't go revealing that I let a human see me in my true form—I certainly couldn't have patched up that fin by myself after all—or I'll cause a panic."

"I should have asked first—"

"You did ask," his friend cuts in, and waggles the mass of wet hair at him. "Braid?"

"Of course, yes." Dream resolves to be more mindful of this sort of discretion going forward and sets to work.

It's wonderful to be able to touch all that hair, as he's wished to for ages, to run his fingers through the length of it as he weaves a loose braid over his friend's shoulder, keeping it clear of the sticky injured fin behind. It is also thrilling, to have his hands so close to the pretty face that features so often in his dreams; he is both relieved and disappointed as the braid progresses. His friend is watching him as he works, dark eyes flitting between his face and his hands, comfortably silent, and Dream feels wonderfully, contentedly warm in his quiet attraction as he weaves the braid. It doesn't take long, and then he coils it atop his friend's head and secures it with a pair of takeaway chopsticks from his first aid kit (he'd had the idea that they might be good makeshift splints but hair sticks is probably a better use for them).

"Perfect, thanks," his friend says once he's finished; he moves his head back and forth, feeling out the balance and weight difference of all that wet hair piled atop his skull.

"Did you find what you were searching for, out past the reef?" Dream asks, watching him; he tries not to stare overmuch, but between the loose updo and the fully-exposed ear fins and his friend's naturally beautiful face, he's finding it difficult.

"I did," the merman says, eyes taking on a look of hopeful trepidation that piques Dream's curiosity. "It's in my bag there, if you want to grab it for me."

Dream pulls the bag over; his friend takes it, rummages through it. "Here you go," he says, and holds out a small shell. "I found it for you."

"For me?" Dream takes it, turns it round in his fingers, marveling. It's nothing he can readily identify but not unlike a cowrie shell, a smooth glossy grey shot through with veins of pearly blue and purple color that glow in the sunlight. "It's beautiful."

"I wanted you to have one," his friend says, toying with the lowest spine of one ear fin. "They're a bit on the uncommon side, can only be found in limited areas at certain times of year when the young molt their shells and grow their adult skins. So they're something of a good luck charm, to us. Thought it might not hurt, having something from the ocean meant to keep you safe while you're doing your research in it."

"That's very thoughtful," Dream says, absurdly touched. "Thank you—I will carry it with me every time I dive."

"Well, good. That's good then," his friend says, and Dream can't be sure but it almost looks like the edges of his yellow fins are blushing toward orange, down in the shadows of the water.

"Perhaps you might have benefited from such a shell of your own, to help you avoid the nets altogether," Dream says then, daring enough to tease, and the merman grins, bright as the sun.

"The way I see it, it was good luck to get free in short order with minimal injury. So it's been tested under real-life conditions—had to confirm it was viable before giving it to you, didn't I?"

"Of course," Dream smiles, smitten by the easy optimism his friend always seems to have at hand. "And again. I thank you." He tucks the shell into the inner zip pocket of his swim trunks, where it will stay secure.

The merman dips in the water, turns a happy back loop and resurfaces, face tipped up; the work Dream did on his hair holds true. "Thank you for your help patching me up," he says. "Much easier getting home without an open wound giving me problems. Don't think I'll be hopping up there to join you, though; best if it stays in the water."

"Of course," Dream answers, not surprised nor even really disappointed. He enjoys sitting close beside his friend and sharing human food, yes, but there is also great pleasure in watching him in his natural element, the muted gleam of the sun on his scales through the water, the way his fins drift and sway in micro currents, the natural fluid ease in every movement.

Beautiful.

"So, what human delicacy have you brought me today?" his friend says then, and Dream purposefully redirects his thoughts.

"A highly divisive specimen, to be sure," he begins, pulling his waterproof tote close and rummaging in it. "Many humans love this food but many hate it, as well."

"And which side do you fall on?"

Dream gives him a small smile. "I have my favorite flavors." He withdraws a rectangular mylar packet and holds it up triumphantly. "Today, I bring you pop tarts." ~

Later, back at the house his team is staying at, once he's bid a good night to Matthew and Jessamy and retired to his room, Dream takes the shell out. It's still beautiful by electric light, and the sentiment behind it fills him with a soft warmth. His friend, his beautiful sea-stranger, has given him a thoughtful gift. More than that, he had gone to effort for it, had encountered danger; Dream recalls the way he had said he was distracted, to be caught in the fishing nets, and his heart fills with an odd blend of guilt and delight at the idea that his friend may have been so distracted on account of him, of bringing him this gift.

And he wonders, with the faintest ember of something like hope, if perhaps the deep regard he has for his sea-stranger might not be one-sided after all.

= Started: 9/6/24 Drafted: 9/16/24 Posted: 10/1/24

Notes on this AU:

There are a handful of possible reasons Hob hasn't given Dream his name yet; I haven't settled on which makes the most sense. (The Doylist reason is obviously just flipping the canon dynamic between them)

Dream Jessamy and Matthew are a team doing nebulous marine-biological Research™ (under direction/funding from Lucienne at the university back home) in a nebulously-coastal-Australian locale (because of the fish Hob is based on). I have put more effort into developing Hob's mer-culture than trying to make him 'sound' local; my apologies to the Australians in the audience

Hob's mer-form is springboarded from the leopard coral trout (see pic below) His tail is the vibrant orange with the blue spots; they can have phosphorescence when he's swimming in shadows if he needs/wants them to. His fins are all bright sunny yellow (and much longer, flowier) and he does have a dorsal fin running from between the lower edges of his human shoulder blades to just past his fish 'butt'; the fin can be collapsed close to his body and the rays are flexible also so sitting human-style is not an issue

He can change colors along the edges of his fins; this is a mating behavior and indicator of interest

Dream is unaware of these facts

Hob is still hairy, thanks to Selkie blood in his family tree (which also grants him greater ease in shifting to human form than other merfolk)

The cave they regularly meet in is in a rock formation in White Horse Bay (not a real place afaik) and the opening faces away from shore, affording privacy (the bay is not a popular beach spot anyway). It also faces east for optimal sunrise viewing. Tidal range averages around three meters. At highest tide the cave floor is a foot or two underwater; at lowest tide Dream could still safely dive out if needed (but wouldn't be able to climb back in until the tide comes in again). Dream takes a small boat intended for the team's use in their research and anchors it in the bay nearby and swims over to the cave

Hob has wandered transformed among humans for short periods, mostly to secure goods useful to his community, but learning little bits of human culture is a nice bonus. He's never really tried their food, though, so that is one of the primary things that Dream will bring him

[one-idea]

Reverse Strawhats Master list

In a parallel universe where Ace meets Whitebeard early and much like Luffy and Shanks makes a promise (to one day surpass Whitebeard) when he sets out to sea he meets with Kuina, Nojiko, Kaya, Reiju, and many others. They go on the strawhat journey (with some twist and turns)

One day (maybe in the Wano fight maybe not) a devil fruit activates sending Luffy and the strawhats to this world. Allowing for Luffy and Ace to reunite, but also Robin and Olivia (her mom) Chopper and Dr. Hiriluk, Law and Rosinante and many more.

Official Fic

Part 1 East blue / Arabasta

Part 1/2 loguetown and copycats

Part 2 Olivia’s backstory/skypia/water7

Part 3 three years of growth. Target Luffy

Part 4 planning to get Luffy back. Crew Separated. Luffy’s time in impel down

Part 5 Thriller Bark and Yorki

Extra

Should Kuina get a second sword?

Kaya’s weapon

Kaya’s role on the crew

Possible backstories for Reiju

Reverse Strawhat crew relationships

Ace and the East Blue crew

East Blue crew’s relationship

Shipping?

ASL and AceDeuce plans

What about Sabo and Deuce?

More about Sabo and Deuce

What about Luffy and Ace’s fruits?

Dressrosa, the sun god, and ASL reunion

Sabo and Joyboy

AceDeuce and bounty posters

Garp and his role at Marineford

Reunions

Rough draft of the reverse Strawhat crew meeting the Strawhats

Things to think through/still making decisions

What are their pirate names?

Help me name the crew?

What happens to Luffy’s strawhat?

Where is Luffy buried?

The original idea

Art of the the reverse Strawhats

Dr. Hiriluk’s reindeer design by @onepiece-treasurecove

All of the following designs are done by @majestick-posts-op

Kuina’s design

Nojiko’s design

Kaya’s design

Reiju’s design

East Blue crew’s barrel moment

Dr. Hiriluk’s design

Nico Olivia’s design

Iceberg’s design

Yorki’s design

Kuina’s design by @mangoesbread

My designs for this AU

Kaya - Syrup Village to Drum Island

My Kuina design

[oh-biwan]

[rattling cage] Do you have any Obikin fics that you've enjoyed? Your beautiful art made me slip right down the ship rabbit hole and now I need recs, any rating/theme.

-blushes, clears throat- Hi!

I like a lot of different flavors but, to keep it simple, I'll try to match my recommendations to the theme I'm cultivating on this blog so far.

First of all, I have to mention skyl_tales, they wrote some of the absolute Obikin classics and I love their work, it's very dear to me. If you haven't read anything from them yet, I strongly recommend taking a look at their works and going for anything that captures your attention!

Alright, now my conscience is clear and we can move on:

Armageddon Game by posthumous_vigor

One of my more recent obsessions. Basically, padawan Obi-Wan gets captured by Sith Anakin and then groomed to the Dark Side. What I enjoy about this one is how, even despite the unfavorable cards that Obi-Wan has been dealt, he cleverly chases down his goals... but not without twisting himself in the pursuit as well. He is an active actor in this play and ultimately it is not Anakin who Obi-Wan plays against. And by recommending this I'm recommending the whole series :).

Untouched by objectlesson

This fic has one the most predatory padawan Anakin I've ever seen. This child is just so deliciously fucked up in the head. I... I think I'll just let the author's summary speak for itself: In his darkest moments, Anakin began to think of it as his right. To control Obi-Wan’s sleeping mind, force it into a box, shut it up so he could take what he deserved. Warm skin, slack face, soft snores. And then—then—more.

pleasure, little treasure by objectlesson

A guilty pleasure of mine. And probably a very hard pill to swallow, so careful there. In this one, Vader goes back in time, kidnaps Jedi initiate Obi-Wan, and makes him his apprentice. Yes, it's very dark, a psychological horror, but this author writes with such skill and poetry that I trusted they could make me enjoy reading stuff I'd normally avoid... And I was right. The beauty in the abominable. That's why I love this author, the things they write are so refreshingly daring and so deeply fucked up on so many levels, but served in a way that makes me swallow it all up without question. (oh, I should probably mention that as of now this fic is unfinished, I seldomly pick up unfinished works, but with this one, I have no regrets :))

hold my heart more gently than you do my throat by tennessoui

This is a role reversal omegaverse AU. Master Skywalker has been captured by the Separatists, and behind the Council's back, his omega Padawan sets out to save the master in distress. It is debatable if the master in question needs the saving -noises of massacre in the background- (he did need the saving, in my opinion :)). What I really love about this fic are the horror vibes of little Padawan getting chased down the hallways of the enemy base full of dead bodies, and an unknown monster breathing down his neck, but the only thing on his mind is how to find his master and rescue him. Also, I enjoyed the final twist and how the story unfolded in the end. Satisfying. If omegaverse is your thing I definitely recommend this one.

game plan by treescape

Out of all the recommendations, I consider this to be the tame one. If all of the above made you hesitant to try, this is the one to go with. The summary: Vader keeps capturing Obi-Wan during the Wars. Obi-Wan keeps escaping. It's kind of a thing. I'm recommending this one for the banter. Some of it is just next level. Very amusing to read. Chef's kiss.

[thebrainrotsreal]

Invincible Fic Recs

Also bored as hell so here's Invincible fic recommendations because I can, in no particular order. This fandom's weirdly small (from what I can see) but there are people making fics and I will treasure and cherish them until the sun explodes. Thank you fanfic writers, I love you fanfic writers, doing incredible work, fanfic writers <3 Maybe you've read all these already, or hopefully you can find a fic to adore! TBH a lot of Mark-centic fics because I am biased <3 Feel free to add on!!!

 something better, pushed right back by umanta | Word Count: 13k | Tags to Note: PTSD, Homophobia, Racism, Child Abuse | Oneshot

Being invincible has less to do with the body and more to do with the soul. Mark's friends use the power of teenage shenanigans to help him find his feet again.

Notes: Literally one of my fav Invincible fics of all time. They're just teens and I love all of them so much.

me and myself by avisisisisisissss (joyfuldreamlandcheesecake) | Word Count: 4.6k | Tags to Note: AU, Torture, Evil Mark, Dimensional Travel | WIP!

Mark is dealing with Angstrom's death and the stains of blood on his hands. Meanwhile, Mark has been captured by Cecil, who is torturing him to get him to answer to him. ...It's complicated. Or, when his evil version from another universe ends up in this dimension, Mark starts to feel like someone threw gasoline in his dumpster fire of a life.

Notes: Me biased? Pshhh, not at all. But AU based on a post of mine, please read it, it's really incredible already :)

in the end, you're all i have by orphan_account | Word Count: 1.4k | Tags to Note: Post-Season 1, Hugging, Emotional Hurt/Comfort | Oneshot

Amber’s incredulous look is only brief before she reaches over and grabs the book, opening it to the last page that she was reading. Mark’s eyes are fluttering before she even makes it through the first page; his body goes slack against her, breathing lulls, attention wavers. But she keeps reading the words on the pages, brushing her hand through his hair until she hears soft snores whistling through his nostrils and he finally succumbs to his exhaustion.

Notes: I love Amber and Mark and this is such so soft and good. Truly lovely.

Architect of Your Own Demise by Marzi | Word count: 7k | Tags to Note: AU, Role Reversal, Canon levels of violence, | Oneshot

A lot of his dad's stories were about a beautiful wizard saving a prince from a tall, lonely tower. His dad had a whole series of adventures they went on once the prince was rescued. Though he still seemed to get into plenty of trouble, the wizard always helped him escape. Finding out the stories were true had been thrilling. His mother did save his father when they first met, but she hadn't used spells. She was an alien. She was a superhero. And one day, Mark would be too.

Notes: In all honesty, Marzi writes so many epic Invincible fics, it's had not to list them all, please check them out if you somehow havent' already??? I am weak for Role Swaps though and this is does it so well.

Cold Snap by Marzi (series) | Word Count: 11.9k total | Tags to Note: what if debbie was also allowed to make bad choices, possession, potentially disturbing mutilation based impulses | WIP!

The edge of her mouth twitched again, like it was caught on some hook. She was smiling. She was laughing at him. That wasn't his wife. He moved forward, hand outstretched and on her throat. He had her pinned against the counter before he finished blinking. "What are you?" She leaned into him, unconcerned with the threat against her. It also clearly didn’t care about hiding anymore. "Think you have time to find out?"

Notes: Another Marzi fic because I love Debbie. POSSESSED DEBBIE LIKE HELLO??? I had to share.

Spill the tea boy by mandaree1 | Word Count: 1k | Tags to Note: Set After "It's Been A While", | Oneshot

Mark is visited by friends on Thraxa.

Notes: Crying sobbing begging for more GoG & Mark interactions like these. They heal me ok, thank you, op.

all the things left behind by cadastre | Word Count: 28K | Tags to Note: AU, Captivity, Forced Cohabitation, Aftermath of Torture, Survivor's Guilt, Nolan Grayson's A+ Parenting | WIP!

Mark is invincible. When the world ends, that becomes William's problem.

Notes: Omg fucked up Mark and William interactions??? HELLO? Yes PLEASE? No one is having a good time <3 I haven't seen a fic quite like this so please read!

from a body that used to be yours by thislittlebagofdreams | Word Count: 30K | Tags to Note: Angst, Self Hatred, Alien Biology, Binge Eating, | WIP!

After his dad reveals the truth, Mark returns home to find half the silverware missing. Or: After his dad reveals the truth, Mark reminds his mom too much of his dad.

Notes: I haven't seen an alien bio fic either for this fandom and this is STELLAR! I love the change that Viltramites can't cry, that's such a epic idea???

All Alone Now by YingYangKay | Word Count: 2k | Tags to Note: Solitary Confinement, Dissociation, | Oneshot

Imprisoned and alone, (Evil) Mark has plenty of time to self-reflect and think about his life choices.

Notes: ILY EVIL MARK! I just adore his POV as he reflects, entrapped, and alone. Angst my beloved.

Again, feel free to add on! :D I hope someone finds a new fic to read and adore!!!

[occatorcreator]

Second Family Au Masterpost

An AvA/M au where Orange runs away at the end of AvA 4 and is adopted by Mango Tango. (It's also a role reversal au between Purple and Orange)

For additional posts for this AU will be under #Second Family AU

Early Beginnings (Some information may be outdated) Start + Explanation of the AU Orange Breaks Their Hand Mango's Job

Second Chances (Purple POV fic & how Purple becomes part of the Color Gang; spans two years) Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Calm Before the Storm (One-shots and drawings set before the events of Season 3's plot) Family Bonding Family vs Friends: Part 1

The Ruins of What was Once Loved (Season 3 adapted to the Second Family AU. CW: major character death and abuse) TBD

[derangederensimp]

Ⓚⓘⓝⓚⓣⓞⓑⓔⓡ ②⓪②4

Using prompt from @flightlessangelwings & @the-purity-pen may have changed some of them to fit what I wanted to write

These fics will more than likely be more straight to the point with a set word count since there's so many.

• Masterlist of all my fics and Kinktober 2022

Love bites & Overstimulation with Gojo Satoru - https://www.tumblr.com/derangederensimp/763186115667738624/jujutsu-kaisen-kinktober-1-love-bites

Knife play with Choso

69, Exhibitionism & Monster au with True Form Sukuna

Group sex with Toji, Gojo, and Nanami

Sensory deprivation with Deidara

Bondage with Naoya Zen’in

Slow and soft with Gojo Satoru

Cockwarming and Rough sex with Portgas D. Ace

Hunter/prey with Toji Fushiguro

Stripping * Anal * Double penetration True Form Sukuna

Seduction * Blindfold * Degradation with

Formal wear * Glove kink * with Muzan

Body worship * Being recorded * Anonymous sex With

Tit/nipple play * Object insertion * BDSM

Against a wall * Size kink * with Choso

Lap dance * Role reversal * Whipping with Geto Suguru

Praise kink * Rimming * Tentacles with Geto Suguru

Masturbation * Squirting * Dacryphilia (crying/emotional release)

Hand job * Voyeurism * Somnophilia

Sex toys * Orgy/group * Corruption

Hate sex with Mahito

Voice kink * Virginity * Fisting

Dirty talk * Begging * CNC

Lingerie * Edging * Leather/latex

Mirror sex * Orgasm denial * Breeding

Face sitting/ Deep throating & Choking with Dom! Geto Suguru

Food play * with L

Intercrural sex with Eren Jaeger

Fingering * Cream pie * Gagging

Cunnilingus * Costumes * Breath play

FREE SPACE

Any open spots please feel free to comment who you’d like to see and maybe I’ll pick it 🥴 oh and you want to be apart of the taglist comment 🕸️

[teecupangel]

Hello!! Hii!! It's me again :3c

Hope you're having a good day tee! Been re-reading your fics and ARGH they're so good, wish I could eat them, just needed you to know that ehe.

Anyways! I come with an idea!

Have you ever thought of a role reversal/swap au? Like, the modern gang are the ones in the past and the ones from the past are the in the modern time reliving the(ir) past.

I know that there are a lot of characters, from the past and present, and idk how swapping all of their places would work so I'm only focusing on my pookies for this ask :3c

The pookies in question are Desmond, Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton, of course.

So this time Desmond is the one in the past, AND WE COULD GO WILD FROM HERE!!

Was Desmond one of The Greatest Assassin's Of All Time™ or was he just like modern!Desmond who ran away from the creed and was roped back in to the entire thing only after a few years lol. Like I said, GO WILD!!

Rebecca, Shaun, Lucy and Clay are also in the past with Desmond, all the modern day characters are! (So also the antagonists!)

Also, I'm a biracial Desmond truther so that's definitely going to determine the setting he's going to be in.

My HC is that he's Half Syrian, half whatever William is (fuck you William) so maybe he could be born in Masyaf, during when? You decide!

I didn't want this to sound like a Desmond get reborn as Altaïr ask (I LOVE YOU DESMOND REBORN AS 'SOMEONE' ASKS) because I still want him to be in ancient/old Syria (or somewhere near that! Like I said GO WILDDDDD) that's why I'm keeping everything vague jssjaj

And tee the modern day plot is whatever you want it to be, and this time Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton (along with the characters from their games) would be our modern gang! Finally they can interact and banter with eachother.

The Animus and isus are still going to be involved of course.

can we get some ClayDes with this? Or AltDes?or both Please and thank you <3.

Also I'm so sorry if this idea seems so vague and plotless it literally just popped into my head a few minutes ago LOL (definitely not from re-reading Zero Eclipse again nope). And as per usual, forgive me for anything spelling/grammar mistakes! English is hard ajdhsjjaajsh.

You know what would be funny, nonny?

If this isn’t a case of Desmond being reborn as Altaïr BUT Desmond pretending to be Altaïr because Altaïr went missing.

Desmond, Rebecca, Shaun, Lucy and Clay all woke up in the temple underneath Jerusalem. The Apple was gone so their best guess was that this was after the big FUBAR that landed Altaïr in hot waters.

And to make this all the more interesting, the gang was sent to the past just as Desmond was about to stab Lucy in the coliseum.

Everyone but Clay doesn’t know Lucy is a Templar. Lucy and Clay make a truce of some kind where Clay keeps it a secret because they all need to focus on how to get back to their actual time.

(Clay only agrees to not explicitly telling everyone that Lucy is a Templar, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to tell the local bureau that there was a blonde foreigner crusader spy and he may or may not be hinting that someone is a traitor among them to Desmond the entire time, loop hole abuse is one of Clay’s favorite past time after all)

And here comes the mystery.

Desmond tries to check Jerusalem out because they need to figure out just ‘when’ they were kicked to and an informant saw him, called him Altaïr and dragged him to the bureau where…

Kadar was working as the temporary Rafiq.

What. The. Fuck.

.

Flashforward to the future where Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton wake up in a very familiar face. And hey, it’s Juno.

And he’s screaming at Altaïr who looked ready to throttle her, skin her alive and feed the goddamn skin down her throat.

They ran away from the screaming Juno and find the gang’s van.

Altaïr ‘surprisingly’ seemed to know how to open it and they both hide their before Altaïr tell them his side of the story.

So…

Altaïr decided that restraint was a word that should just be thrown out of the window after his wife and son died. He started messing up the Apple and unlocked admin access to it, which meant that he could get any information he wanted.

And the information he wanted was to change the past so the people he loved and cared for would live past their fated death.

He managed to return to the past and saved Kadar.

Unfortunately, Kadar’s survival caused a ripple in time and space and Altaïr was sucked into it where he… may or may not have met a Reader of time.

He made a deal with the Reader.

Apparently, Altaïr was not allowed to mess with his own time, no one was allowed to do that.

However, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t mess with other people’s time and someone else couldn’t mess with his time.

So they made a deal. The Reader would send someone who would want to give Altaïr a happy ending, in exchange Altaïr was to change the fate of the person the Reader was sending by taking out the Templars in the mean time.

Things started to get strange while they were switching timelines though.

Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton were yanked from their timeline because of their deep connection to Desmond and the gang was yanked with Desmond in the process because they were near Desmond (Clay getting yanked was because his digital avatar’s home, the Animus, was connected to Desmond’s phone via a shared network and the transfer counted him as an individual)

Altaïr is sorta kinda sure that they’d return to their original timeline once Altaïr had done his side of the bargain and Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton really have no other clue other than what the great Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad is telling them so they just go along with it.

First thing first… Altaïr needs to get into contact with William Miles to get information about this time that the Reader and his Apple was unable to give him.

.

On the other side of this wacky time travel ride, everyone assumes Altaïr is missing because they returned to the past.

Lucy is all in on the whole “we need to preserve history or else we risk the chance of disappearing!” and Shaun agrees with her (for now).

Clay thinks they should just fuck shit up and see what happens and Rebecca isn’t entirely on board with either ideas and more focused on finding out how they could return home.

For now…

Desmond will continue to pretend to be Altaïr who went missing because he was wounded in Jerusalem (after trying to save Kadar, sounds fishy, might be a clue) and the gang is now the kind people who healed him.

(Rebecca and Shaun are pretending to be married, Clay and Lucy are also pretending to be married, it’s very awkward, no one wants to acknowledge that elephant at all)

And…

Oh, yeah.

Malik was the one who got demoted and is now hunting down the Templars.

.

If this is ClayDes, it’s gonna be a slowburn kind of deal.

If you want this to be AltDes, Desmond and Altaïr actually manages to contact one another when they’re dreaming after Altaïr used the Animus to check his own past and got routed to Desmond’s POV.

If you want both, the same setup as AltDes but Clay gets suckered into the dream videocall because of unknown reasons.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Masterlist 

The Flip Side (on hiatus?)

Part: 1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7, 8,  9, 10, 11,  12,  13

Ao3

Silver Springs

Part: 1,  2 ,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8,  9, 10, 11, 12 (completed)

Ao3 

Growing Pains (post mob-life fic -- in progress🐢)

Part: 1,   2,   3,   4,   5,    6,   7 

Ao3

Silver Spring AU Drabbles

Ao3

Rescue ~ Adopting Boone 

Rivals ~ Y/n meets another mobster

Couched ~ Wanda gets in trouble

Recon ~ Wanda and y/n meet 

Sushi ~ First date

Burn out ~ Wanda gets sick

Faux pas ~ Pietro gets drunk

Midnight ~ Wanda visits after being away for work 

Surprise ~ Wanda gives Y/n a gift

Graduation ~ Wanda crashes a graduation party. (18+)

Decoy ~ Y/n and Wanda get a new addition to the family 

Bickering ~ Grocery shopping 

Nine lives ~ Fletcher visits the vet 

Don’t Blame Me ~ Y/n witnesses Wanda’s drug deal. (18+)

Sunrise ~ Proposal 

Crisis ~ Finding out we’re pregnant

Caught ~ Wanda gets in trouble…again

Dreams ~ Y/n deals with old demons 

Training ~Y/n and Wanda spar

K.O. ~ Y/n and Wanda spar part 2. (18+)

Trials ~ Navigating pregnancy and parenthood 

Not As Expected ~ Wanda has her baby

Role Reversal ~ Y/n, the mob boss

Intruder ~ Coming home to an unpleasant surprise 

Field work ~ Boone helps Wanda at work

Broke ~ Y/n is introduced to the darker side of Wanda’s job

Ambush ~ Y/n and Wanda have the odds stacked against them

Wrath ~ Wanda comes to Y/n’s rescue 

It ~ Movie night with Wanda

Birthday ~ Y/n celebrates a birthday

Minefield ~ Y/n meets Bucky

Aberration ~ Y/n meets Nat

Nerves ~ Y/n and Wanda get married 

Reunion ~ Y/n and Wanda go to a high school reunion

Reunion pt. 2 ~ Y/n sets things right with Wanda

Repair ~ Y/n fixes the dishwasher and Wanda is very grateful. (18+)

Ennui ~ Wanda comes out to her brother 

A Night Out ~ Y/n meets Pietro 

First Time ~ Y/n gets a tracker 

First Time pt. 2 ~ Y/n and Wanda begin to recover 

Troublemaker ~ The dogs’ babysitting skills are put to the test 

Anonymous ~ Pietro receives a disturbing letter 

Night In ~ Y/n is left in charge

Girls Trip ~ Y/n takes a trip to the beach with some friends

Serendipity ~ Y/n meets Wanda’s high school crush

Serendipity pt. 2 ~ Aftermath of Wanda’s reunion. 

Reminiscing ~ Wanda’s midnight musings 

Preparations ~ Y/n and Wanda get ready for their baby 

Infidelity ~ Wand realizes her wife is hiding something.

I Did Something Bad ~ Wanda carries out a hit

Abduction ~ An outing with Boone goes wrong  

Struggles ~ Real world attention problems

Traffic ~ Y/n and Wanda travel abroad

Mama ~ Just another weekly dinner with the fam

Cross The Line ~ Wanda takes her wife to a club

Anniversary ~ Y/n spends a special day with Wanda

Honeymoon ~ How Y/n and Wanda spend the last night of their honeymoon (18+)

Better Than Cake ~ Y/n and Wanda celebrate a birthday (18+)

Out of Commission ~ Wanda breaks her wrist 

Kinks ~ Pietro brings his sister a gift

Road Kill ~ Y/n learns something new about Wanda

Stealth ~ Y/n has a lapse in judgement

If Anyone Falls ~ Y/n and Wanda’s first time together ❤️ (18+)

Appreciation ~ A break from taking care of new baby Natalya

2, 4, 6, 8... ~ Pietro misunderstands his sister-in-law’s intentions 

Separation ~ Wanda makes a horrible mistake while arguing with her wife

Separation pt. 2 ~ Continuation of part 1  

Competition ~ Wanda catches her wife with another woman

Late Night ~ Wanda catches onto her wife’s sleepless nights

Coming home ~ Fletcher’s adoption

Feud ~ Wanda betrays her wife

Playdate ~ Boone and Fanny hang out at the compound

Nightmares ~ Wanda wakes up to an unpleasant surprise 

Cocaine Bear ~ Movie night

Wild ~ Y/n gets an unpleasant surprise 

Blackout ~ Y/n's first experience with expensive tequila

Phoenix ~ Lazy Sunday musings 

Decompress ~ Wanda helps her girlfriend relax after a hard day at work. 

Sick Leave ~ Y/n is forced to take some time off of work

Rainbow Bridge ~ Dog-centric drabble 

Trade off ~ Y/n saves Wanda’s life 

Breach ~ Natalya’s first break-in

Triage ~ Aftermath of Breach 

Stunts ~ Wanda makes a mistake 

Limbo ~ Important relationships landmarks  (18+)

Storms ~ Disruptive late night thunderstorms 

Karma ~ Family getaway

Negotiations~ Y/n sneaks out one night 

House call ~ Y/n receives an unconventional offer

Mile High Club ~ Y/n and Wanda fly to Europe

Better Help ~ Y/n goes to therapy 

Pretty Girls ~ Heart eyes 

Staying In ~ A lazy Sunday

The Sticks ~ Wanda needs a favor 

Something old, something new ~ New adventures  (18+)

Insomnia ~ Sleepless nights

Afterglow ~ Pillow talk

Let’s Groove ~ A night out 

Deprived ~ Sexting 

In The Night ~ Y/n getting into trouble

Routine ~ Wanda comes home 

Crush ~ Y/n is reunited with someone from vet school

Break In ~ Y/n’s given a reason to move to the compound 

Intervention ~ Wanda requires an intervention

Please Please Please ~ Wanda gets in trouble 

Game Night ~ Family game night 

Happy Birthday ~ An odd tradition 

Distracted ~ Y/n and Wanda spend the night at the club

Fireworks ~ New Year’s party 

Hardheaded ~ Cooking lessons with Y/n

Chase ~ Y/n’s memorable motorcycle ride

Into the Unknown ~ Wanda pregnancy drabble  (18+)

Boundaries ~ Y/n stands up for her wife

What I Need ~ Much needed post-pregnancy appreciation (18+)

Remiss ~ Y/n and Wanda have a late night chat 

House Guest ~Y/n brings home a new friend 

Hell Hath No Fury ~ An idiot faces Wanda’s wrath

Delusions ~ A familiar proposal is not what it seems

Alternate endings

Too late ~ Y/n dies

Laid to rest ~ Y/n dies part 2  

Complications ~ Wanda dies 

Headcanons: (where I will ramble about my favorite alternate universe)

Silver Springs AU

Extras: 

Little Nat Adventures :)

[patch-of-roses]

New fic set in the Role Reversal AU! The concept for this AU and the piece of artwork that inspired this particular fic were created by @chipper-smol

You needed to do a demonstration. They need to know more about what makes the loops work and... this is one way to do it.

You didn't expect them to fall asleep before it happened.

...

You should have thought of something else.