#the ferrari car i made out of kids toy

[chussyracing]

thank you @presdestigatto for tagging me 😚

tagging @balaclavacharles @never-looked-so-good @ferrariprince16 @dobbiamo-capire @charlescherie @caffeinatedlovergirl @debushit and anyone who would like to do this - you are legally obliged to say i was the one to force you to do it

[leclerc-hs]

73 Questions with Mrs. Leclerc - cl16

pairing: husband!charles leclerc x fem!reader summary: in which you do a 73 questions interview with Vogue OR charles can't help but third wheel your interview warnings: none??? just cute fluff basically, NOT PROOFREAD word count: 2.1k author's note: I actually got a request by someone to do this and thought it was such a CUTE idea and concept. I obviously didn't do ALL 73 questions cause that would've taken forever. But thought this was a cute little piece to do. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to let me know what you think don't be shy !! xoxo

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

THE DELICATE FOLDS of the pale pink sundress fluttered like petals in a gentle breeze, framing your figure with a soft, ethereal elegance. As the front door yielded to the push, the fabric danced around your legs, caressing the tender skin of your thighs with a whisper of touch. Your radiant smile illuminated the scene, a beacon of joy amidst the fluttering fabric and nervous flutter of butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey!” The male voice chimed brightly, his tone cheerful as a songbird greeting the dawn, echoing through the air with an infectious energy that mirrored your own bright smile.

“Hey!” You respond with effervescent warmth, your smile stretching across your face like a sunbeam breaking through clouds. With a graceful gesture, you swing the door open wider, revealing the inviting warmth of your home’s foyer. The soft light spills in, casting a golden glow over the polished floors and elegant furnishing. The first thing to notice is the giant painting of a Ferrari Formula One car, hung high above the entry way table.  

“Look who we have here! It’s Mrs. Leclerc!” A delicate blush warms your cheeks, a subtle reminder of the tender affection that tingles within you whenever you’re addressed as such. Though you and Charles have been together for many years, your marriage has infused your relationship with a fresh sense of intimacy and closeness. And despite that it’s been almost five years, the title of “wife” feels forever new and unfamiliar.

“On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?”

“I would say 8, so I’m super excited!” With a gentle click, you shut the front door behind you, enveloping the foyer in a tranquility as you made your way down the hallway to the kitchen. Along the way, you stooped to pick up a scattering of children’s toys that lay scattered like confetti on the polished wooden floors, offering a quick apology for the perceived “mess.” However, you couldn’t help but inwardly smile at the orchestrated chaos around you. While the house was meticulously maintained by the cleaning company before the video shoot, every detail was carefully curated to strike the perfect balance between lived-in warmth and elegance, ensuring a setting that felt both inviting and authentic to you and the viewers.

“Any reason for that?”

In the heart of the home lies a kitchen adorned with a stunning green cabinet motif. The cabinets, painted in a rich emerald hue, exude an air of sophistication and charm, perfectly complemented by gleaming brass hardware. Sunlight filters through the vast array of windows, casting a warm glow over the polished marble countertops. 

“You mean other than the fact that the kids go back to school soon?” You and the interviewer let out a soft laugh as you made your way behind the kitchen island, opening the fridge in a smooth motion to pull out a water bottle. “Want one?”

“No, but thanks though!” His voice is light-hearted. 

As the fridge door remains open, a tantalizing glimpse is offered to the audience of its well-stocked interior. A colorful array of fresh produce fills the shelves, showing an abundance of vibrant fruits and crisp vegetables. Among the healthy offerings, assortment of juice boxes catches the eye, adding a playful touch to the wholesome scene.

“That’s a lot of juice boxes you have in there.” He makes a comment, it’s not a question, but you take it as one.

“Two kids and a husband,” You start, your tone light and casual before lowering your voice into a conspiratorial whisper for the camera, “who practically is also a kid, results in a lot of juice boxes.” With a playful wink directed at the lens, you punctuate the statement, adding a touch of humor to the scene. Setting the water bottle down on the expansive kitchen counter, you resume your easy demeanor, effortlessly blending candor and charm for your audience.

“Hey!” Your head shoots over, the camera seamlessly following your gaze to where Charles, your husband,sits on the floor of the living room, two of your kids, aged two and three, beside him with an abundance of toys strewn about. “I heard that!” Charles retorts with mock offense, a playful grin lighting up his face as he joins in the banter.

The living room exudes a chic sophistication with a distinct Formula One flair. Charcoal-gray walls provide a sleek backdrop, accentuating the mounted flat-screen television. A striking statement piece dominates one corner—a display of artwork showcasing all of the racetracks Charles has conquered – infusing the room with a sense of triumph and energy. A plush white sofa, adorned with an array of vibrant red pillows, invites relaxation and style. Across the room, a sizable shelf proudly showcases a collection of racing helmets, some belonging to Charles and others gathered over time, adding a personal touch to the space. Below the television, was a long console table that was adorned in various plants and photos of your family. You couldn’t help but smile as you glanced at them.

With a casual wave of your hand, you dismiss Charles’s playful interruption, maintaining your position at the kitchen island as the camera refocuses on you. The gesture carries an air of affectionate familiarity, a gentle reminder of the dynamic energy that permeates your bustling household.

“If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?”

“Definitely Austin Butler.” You answer almost immediately, no hesitance in your voice.

“Hey!” Charles’s playful yelp echoes through the room once more, accompanied by the joyful laughter of your children. One nestled in his lap, the other engrossed in a picture book, their presence adding warmth and vitality to the room. You share a knowing smile with Charles, the affectionate banter a familiar melody to your family life.

The laughter of the interviewer joins the playful exchange. The camera effortlessly captures the dynamic interaction between all of you with ease.

You roll your eyes playfully, “Restez en dehors de ça.” Stay out of this!

“Arrête de faire semblant de vouloir faire l’amour avec quelqu’un d’autre que moi!” Stop pretending you want to make love with anybody but me!

With a mischievous gleam in your eye, you turn back to the camera, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Can I change my answer?” You inquire, injecting a hint of playful anticipation into your tone.

“Sure,” the interviewer replies.

“You’re supposed to say no,” You quip with a chuckle.

“Oh, um no?”

With a playful pout, you glance over at Charles who is already staring at the interaction. A smile adorned on his face like he is in complete awe of you, regardless of what you are saying. “Sorry honey!” You wave your hand around. “Answers are final!”

Leaving the kitchen behind, you make your way towards the backyard, where the promise of relaxation and leisure awaits. Stepping through the door, you’re greeted by the sight of a large pool shimmering under the sunlight, its crystal-clear waters beckoning for a refreshing dip. Surrounding the pool, lounge chairs are strategically place, some on the pool’s ledge, inciting you to bask in the sun while enjoying the cool water. A wide arrangement of pool floaties from unicorns to racecars litter the pool as well.

It’s a breathtaking sight: a vast expanse of bright blue skies stretching overhead, adorned with barely a wisp of cloud in sight. The warm rays of sun dance upon your skin. With a stylish flourish, you slip on a pair of your favorite Ray-Bans, a subtle nod to your husband’s sunglass collection. 

“Vintage or new?”

You ponder for a moment as you stand in the backyard, a breeze blowing your hair behind your shoulders. “Depends, but definitely vintage.”

“Window or aisle seat?”

“Aisle, although Charles likes to take the aisle more.”

“What are three things you can’t live without?”

“Wait, do my children count as two of the three?”

“Up to you.”

“Okay, so my two children. And my lip gloss.” You laugh, pausing for effect. “Kidding! My two kids, and my lip gloss…” You pause, jokingly. “And my husband of course.” The light-hearted remark reflects the joyful chaos of humor and love in your life. “He’s really the sweetest man. I’m so lucky.”

The glass door slides open with a whisper, and into the frame steps Charles, his presence incessant. With a carefree demeanor, he approaches you clad in a pair of baggy jeans and a plain white t-shirt that stretched at the seams from his muscles. He presses soft kisses to your cheeks, the stubble of his own rubbing against your smooth skin, his love evident in each tender kiss.

“Désolé,” Sorry. He apologizes before pecking another kiss to your cheek. “Tellement ambrassable.” Just so kissable. He places one more on your cheek, your face bright red from the camera’s catching all of this.

“Looks like he can’t be far from you for very long.”

Charles looks at the camera, a glint in his eye with a large smile, like he was the happiest man on earth, and nothing could dampen his spirits. Especially with you nearby. “Est-ce que tu la vois?” Do you see her?

The interviewer, unaware of Charles’s words, simply nods in response behind the camera lens, acknowledging the affection in his tone. Later translations will reveal the depth of Charles’s words no doubt. Elle est tellement belle. Bien sûr, je ne peux pas rester loin longtemps.” She’s so beautiful. Of course, I can’t stay far long.

Your face is bright red as Charles remains at your side.

“Where are the kids?”

“Put them down for a nap!” Charles answers, his arm slung over your shoulder as he leans on you comfortably. 

As the interviewer continues the questionnaire, Charles can’t resist interjecting with playful remarks and comments on almost every question. His spontaneous interruptions add an element of humor and spontaneity to the video, turning what could have been a standard interview into an entertaining and engaging exchange.

“How do you define beauty?” “My wife.” “Charles, the questions are for me!”

"What do you love most about your body?" "That's an easy one...I think her--" Charles begins, but you swat his chest and cut him off. "I love my arms. Not because they're that nice but they give me the ability to hold my children." Charles clicks his tongue, hating that you even implied something about yourself as 'not that nice'.

"Least favorite color?" "Red." Charles lets out a large gasp with a string of phrases in French, clearly hurt by your response. "It's a joke, mon amour!" "How did you know you were in love?" You look at Charles then, his eyes already on you, a soft smile pulling on both of your lips. "I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with him. Probably when I realized I would rather be awake in the middle of the night, since he was traveling so much, just to talk to him for even a few minutes, instead of going to sleep." Charles plays with the ends of your hair, twirling the ends around his fingers as he chimes in. "We've known each other for so long. But, when I first met her, it was like meeting someone I've known my entire life. There was no awkward silences between us. We just clicked."

“Diamonds or pearls?” “Pearls.” “Mon chou, don’t lie.” “I’m not!” “The diamond on your finger says otherwise!”

“If you made a documentary, what would it be about?” “Charles’ brain. I seriously question what goes on in there sometimes.” “Hey! It’s only you…”  You raise your eyebrows at him, like he’s a liar. “And racing.” “Definitely racing.”

“If you had a tattoo, where would it be?”

Charles smirks deeply, like he knows something the world doesn’t, the interviewer picks up on it. “Wait, you have a tattoo? Can we see it?”

“No! It’s for me only.”

You playfully swat at Charles’ chest, a playful blush coloring your cheeks as you both wander throughout the house, showcasing its beautiful décor. Despite your embarrassment at Charles’ antics, you can’t help but be thankful for him easing your nerves. You weren’t one for the public eye, normally. So, when you agreed to this interview it came out as quite a surprise.

“Okay final question of the day.” 

You both stand by the front door, the interviewer on the front step outside of the home. 

“Hugs or kisses?”

“Definitely ki—” You don’t get to finish your answer as Charles’ fingers grasp onto your neck, his fingers sprawled along your jawline as well, and tugs your face into his. He shuts the door as soon as his tongue slips into your mouth.

It’s a few seconds before you push him off you. “You’re unbelievable!”

A giant smile spreads across his face as he looks down at you. “Only for you, mon chou!”

[miawastaken]

PROMISE

TW: none.

Ship: Grayson x Lyra

Synopsis: Gray meets Lyra’s family for the first time.

Thx to @reyreadersblog for this idea! <3

【🎱 🎸 🪐】

“I still don’t understand why you won’t let me meet them!”

This argument had been on for about half-an-hour.

Grayson wanted to meet Lyra’s family. Let’s just say Lyra was less than fond of the idea.

Her father— well step-father wasn’t quite to fond of the idea of Lyra dating. Her mom was fine. Although she is a writer so you never know.

And then of course comes her brother. The five-year-old could barely manage himself in preschool much less meeting his older sisters boyfriend.

Christs sake did he even know what a boyfriend was?!

“I just don’t think you’ll like them.” Lyra restated for the billionth time.

“Of course I’ll like them! After all, they’re your family. Plus I’ll have to do it sometime or another!”

“But what if you hate them?!”

He smiled softly and cupped her face.

“I could never hate something you love.”

And so dinner with her parents was set for Friday evening.

【🎱 🎸 🪐】

Walking up to the front door of the house Lyra fiddled with her necklace.

“They’re here!!!” She could hear her mother screaming from inside.

“Dear Lord help me.” Lyra thought.

Grayson squeezed her hand.

Her step-father opened the door and smiled.

He hugged Lyra and then eyed Grayson up and down.

And to Lyra’s surprise he reached out his hand to shake Graysons.

“So you must be Grayson.”

“Yes, sir.” He replied.

It’s a rarity to see Grayson Hawthorne nervous. But dear God was it obvious that he was anxious now.

“Come in.” Her father beckoned.

They sat down on the sofa, Grayson sweating at this point.

“Ah, Lyra, Grayson!” A voice called.

“Hi mom!” Lyra replied, though it came out more strained than she’d wished.

“I’m just getting dinner done but make yourselves comfortable!”

Lyra’s dad sat down but stood up again when he got a phone call.

“Sorry I have to take this.” He apologised.

They both nodded and he walked off to take the call.

“Dear God that was bad!” Lyra said.

Graysons brows furrowed.

“We’ve barely spoken to them !” He defended.

“I know but—

She stopped speaking when she felt something fall at her feet.

A toy car.

“Colin!” She yelped the minute she saw her younger brother.

“Hiiiiiiii!” He drawled.

He looked curiously at Grayson.

“You have friends?” He pondered.

Lyra death glared him and Grayson stifled a laugh.

“That’s a nice looking suit, mister!” Colin complimented.

“Your minions t-shirt isn’t so bad either… mister.” Grayson smiled.

Colin flashed his teeth in a smile.

“Do you like cars?” Colin asked.

“I do.”

“What’s your favourite?”

Grayson was about to reply when Colin disappeared and then came back a second later with a piece of paper and a pencil.

“Now tell me!”

“Ferrari, id say.”

Colin wrote something down and then said:

“I like Mercedes.”

Before Grayson could say anything else Colin asked .

“Can you draw with me?”

Grayson looked mildly flustered and looked to Lyra.

When he got nothing out of her he said.

“I’d love to.”

5 minutes later they were both sat on the rug with crayons drawing their favourite cars.

Lyra was put in charge of judging said drawings.

“Do you want to be a motorist when you grow up?” Grayson asked in the kids direction.

“What’s that?” Colin shrugged.

“Someone who drives fast cars in a race.”

Colin shook his head.

“I like cars but I don’t think I’d be brave enough to race them.”

Grayson smiled at him.

“You’re plenty brave Colin.”

Colin flashed his teeth again, which made Grayson laugh.

“I do want to be a detective though, that’s why I was writing earlier.” Colin said, going back to colouring the car.

“Whys that?”

Colin smiled again.

“Because I like helping people.” He shrugged.

Lyra could swear she saw Gray melt into a puddle in front of her.

“Sorry about that!” A voice came.

Lyra’s dad was back.

“Oh and I see you’ve met Colin!”

The two boys exchanged a glance.

“Lyra has nice friends!” Colin said cheerfully.

Just then Lyra’s mother came out of the kitchen carrying a dish of food.

“Come on, help yourselves.”

【🎱 🎸 🪐】

The rest of the evening went great.

Lyra’s parents were eternally fascinated with Grayson and his many hobby’s.

Even more so when they figured out he went to Harvard.

Grayson had all the approval he needed.

The only real approval that mattered to him though, was that of the 5-year-old boy who was trying to shove spaghetti into his mouth.

When it was time to leave Colin tugged on Graysons pants.

“Can you stay friends with my sister forever? I really think you’re nice.”

Grayson and Lyra exchanged a look.

Gray nodded.

“Promise?” The little boy asked, extending his pinky.

Grayson got down to his level and put out his pinky.

“Promise.”

【🎱 🎸 🪐】

Pls feel free to give me feedback <33

[redvelvettel]

DRENCHED IN GLORY ☆ CL16

Charles leclerc x f!reader

Warnings: it might be a bit obvious how much I need want Charles to win the wdc, but should be fine other than that.

masterlist

He had done it. He had finally done it.

Years and years of dreaming. Staying up at night wondering where he was going wrong. Spending hours on end in the simulator perfecting every turn and curve until it was etched in his memory. Crying on the phone because he couldn't be with the love of his life when he was most vulnerable and needed her the most.

Midnights where she held him to her chest and let him cry his heart out because he was frustrated with the car. She had been through it all with him. Cried with him when they lost people who were supposed to be there forever. They've never left each other's sides ever since that fateful day his mother came over to the new neighbor's house to give them a housewarming present.

6 year old Charles felt like he was going to throw up. The girl hiding behind her mother's gown in front of him peeked at him with her doe eyes. Yep. There was something definitely wrong with the poor lad. Because honestly, that's what he felt like. He followed her around like a lost puppy, never leaving her side until she reluctantly agreed to play with his toy cars. And they've been trapped in their own little bubble ever since.

His brother, Arthur had tried to steal her countless times but to no avail. It was like there was some invisible string holding them together. And neither of them ever dared to complain.

Charles won his first ever race mere weeks after meeting her. Ever since she learned that her new friend was racing in fast cars, she had been nagging her parents to let her go to a race with him. After some persuasion from the two children, they had finally let her attend a Karting race after being promised by Lorenzo that he wouldn't let her out of his sight.

She was fascinated with everything. She didn't care that it was just a Karting race, she was so happy and amazed that her friend could drive a fast car so bravely.

So she stood with his brothers and his father proudly cheering his name with her whole heart until her lungs burned, and she didn't stop until he started getting out of the little kart after crossing the finish line first. She ran up and crashed into him with the biggest smile and Charles couldn't help but feel like he was on top of the world.

Neither of the kids cared that it was a Karting race, to her he was the best to ever do it and he would always be on top of the world if she was by his side. Charles knew he wanted her in his life forever, then. As much as a six year old could want anything. That still hasn't changed, and he was positive it never will.

Somehow, Charles had convinced himself that she was his lucky charm, and begged both of their parents to let her attend as many races as she could. She was there with him for every single step as he climbed up the ranks and made it to the big leagues. She held his hand in hers as they walked into the paddock on his first ever official day as a formula one driver, with his name and number on the back of her shirt standing proudly.

It was many years later, and the thirst for glory had only deepened in Charles. When Charles told her when they were little that his dream was to be a world champion, she promised him that she would be right there cheering him on like always, waiting for him when he gets out of the car. He had been dreaming of the moment ever since, and it was about to come true.

She stood in the Ferrari motorhome, arms locked with Arthur, and all the mechanics surrounding them. Her and Pascale, who stood on her right, wore bright red headphones and were leaning onto each other, silent prayers escaping their mouths as they nervously glanced at the screens.

There were 4 laps left and Charles Leclerc could be a world champion at the end of the race, and the team was positive that he would be.

She reached out for Pascale's hand as they all started moving out of the motorhome with the rest of the team, excitement and hopefulness filling her. She knew he was going to win. He had to. This was his dream, and everything he has ever worked for was going to come true. She held on to Arthur and Pascale like her life depended on it, praying to all the gods she could think of. Tears started to fall onto her cheeks, out of happiness for how proud she was of the man she loved. She turned to look beside her and saw that Pascale has also started crying, hugging her tightly as they waited for what felt like eternity.

When he was finally a world champion after he crossed the line, she screamed his name at the top of her lungs, exactly like she did the first time he had won a race.

She felt everyone around her hugging eachother and people on the stands roaring out of happiness, and she couldn't see anything from the tears blurring her eyes.

He was a world champion. The champion of the world. He had finally brought back glory to the most historic team the sport has ever witnessed, and he was the love of her life. She sobbed looking at him as he got out of his seat and stood on the halo of his car, arms wide open as he was drenched in glory. His name was going to be written in the books, immortalising him. His name was going to be noted down in the history of the sport. He was finally a world champion.

His feet finally touched the ground, body shaking with sobs and he look around for his family, frantically taking his helmet off.

He ran into his mother's arms, letting her hold her not so little boy. He called out for her, looking around until he finally spotted her. Everyone with eyes could see how his whole face brightened when he saw her, the whole world other than the both of them disappearing.

He crashed into her, just like she did all those years ago. They held each other so tight it made people wonder if they could breathe, and they didn't seem to care. Everything he has ever wanted in his life had come true and he wanted nothing but to hold her in his arms and not let go.

She could feel his tears drenching her shirt, both of them shaking from the sobs they let out. "You're a world champion Charles, you've done it". He let out a snort of laughter, pulling her closer if that was even possible.

"I love you, I love you." He felt so much love for her at that moment that it felt like his heart was gonna burst if he wasn't careful.

As he slightly moved away so he could look at her, he knew he wanted her forever. He wanted her to be there when he wins championships, when he dnf's, he wanted her by his side during all the happy moments, and all the ugly ones too. His lips were on hers in an instant, with no care of all the people and cameras around him. All they'd ever need was eachother, and he would tear hell apart to keep her by his side forever.

[elisysd]

Happy birthday

Cruel Summer Masterlist

Julia's first birthday

Lyanna was busy preparing the guest room for her mom and Fred as they were coming for the weekend to celebrate Julia’s birthday while carefully watching her playing with cubes in her baby park. She was now almost one. Time flied and it seemed like yesterday that Lyanna was announcing to Charles that he would be a dad. And now she was organizing her daughter first birthday party. Not many people were invited, just their families and close friends like Pierre and Kika, who were Julia’s godfather and godmother. It would be a nice little get together, at least if Charles was refraining himself to invite the whole town. He was so excited and happy to be there for her daughter’s birthday. It was something that he worried about a lot and when he got the race calendar for the year and saw that the weekend of the 16th of June was free for him, he was so happy.

As Lyanna was finishing up to adjust the last details to the room by putting dandelions in a vase on the bedside tables when she heard the door slam. Julia looked up from her toys immediately, wondering where the big noise was coming from. Lyanna left her on her own for an instant to see what Charles was up to and was astonished to see him struggling with a big box, trying to make it fit in the rather large entrance.

“What the hell are you doing? What is this?” she asked him.

“I was in town to get the groceries you wanted and I passed by in front of this event store that has so many things for birthday party and…”

“Please Charles don’t tell me you went over the top. We agreed on something simple, just a lunch outside.”

“Love, it’s not every day our baby is turning one.” He sheepishly looked at her.

“You are going to give me this excuse every year, I know you.”

“Aren’t you at least a bit curious to know what I bought?”

“I’m scared.”

He rolled his eyes at her and put the box on the floor. It was a huge inflatable castle. Lyanna raised an eyebrow at him.

“Come on. It’ll be fun! She is going to love it!”

“I don’t think she will care Charles. And it’s not like she could use it alone. Maybe if she was older and had friends to play with her it would have been a good idea, but right now…”

“You’re such a buzzkill. I’ll play with her! And I’m sure Arthur will love it too. And we can always call Max to come with Kat and Ethan so Julia has a friend to be with her.”

Lyanna sighed. The last few times Kat came with Ethan to keep Lyanna company and watch their husbands racing, it didn’t go particularly well. Ethan was ignoring Julia most of the time or on the rare occasions he was up to play with her toys, especially the cars, Julia was refusing to give them to him resulting in angry cries from both sides. Lyanna and Kat then agreed to stop trying to force a friendship between their kids and would wait until they were both a little older.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea Charles… Ethan and Julia are not getting along very well for now. And if we could avoid to see her crying on her birthday, it would be nice.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I want to see my princess happy, smiling and laughing. Nothing else. Speaking of, where is she?”

“Upstairs, in her baby park. I was about to put her in bed for her nap before you arrive.”

“I’m going to take care of her.”

“And you leave me with the groceries?”

Charles gave her a sorry smile before running to the stairs and to his daughter. As soon as she saw Charles, her big eyes brightened and she showed him the red car she was playing with.

“It’s a beautiful car, my princess. But playtime is over, it’s naptime now. So daddy is going to put your PJs, can you help me to choose?”

As he was taking her in his arms, he buried his nose in her brown hair. They smelled like lavender. Like her mum. This thought made him smile. He laid Julia on the changing table before taking out a few of her PJs.

“So? Jungle one? Princess one? Or Ferrari one, princess? I have a personal favorite, but I don’t want your mummy to think that I’m obsessed with it.”

He wiggled the bright red PJs in front of her daughter, making her laugh and holding out her arms to take the fabric.

“Well, if mummy says something I’ll tell her that you insisted on it!”

He finished to changer her, tickled her a little before putting her in her crib. He kissed her nose and her cheeks before closing the curtains and leaving the room. Julia’s room had stars on the ceiling that shone when the room was plunged in darkness. That way she was never really in the dark. Charles looked at her bed for a brief instant before closing the door and joining his wife in the kitchen.

“My mom and Fred will be arriving soon, can you help me cleaning a little the terrace so we can eat dinner outside later?”

Charles nodded and they spent the hour cleaning everything from the table to the chairs before dressing the table. He was about to go wake up Julia when knocks on the door were heard. Lyanna smiled, excited, and ran to the door. As soon as she saw her mom she took her in her arms, warmly hugging you. Fred was right behind and step aside to give a quick hug to Charles and patting his back.

“I would love to say long time no see, but we both know it would be lying. How are you doing?”

“Good, I was reading a few notes and I wanted to talk about something to you. It’s a concern I have with the car…”

“It’s out of the question! I don’t want to hear anything F1 related this weekend! It’s your daughter’s birthday Charles, leave your work aside. And that’s also applying to you Fred.” Scolded them Renée.

Fred put both of his hands in the air, not want to contradict his partner. Lyanna laughed a little seeing Charles looking at his shoes like a child.

“Where is my granddaughter by the way?”

“Asleep, I was about to wake her up.” Answered Charles.

“Do you mind if I go, I haven’t seen her in ages.”

The dinner was all about laughs and admiring how fast Julia was growing up. The little girl spent the evening between Renée and Fred that were helping in feeding her and keeping her entertained. Even though it has been a while since Fred and her mum had started dating, it was always a bit weird to Lyanna to see them together. She knew that it would always be the case, at least as long as Charles or Fred were at Ferrari together. She still had a hard time considering Fred as anything other than Charles’ boss, even if Fred as trying his best to make her forget it.

The next day it was Julia’s birthday. Lyanna had woken up at dawn to prepare everything and was surprised to already see Fred in the kitchen.

“Good morning! I hope you sleep well.” She greeted him.

“Perfect, Lyanna. The bedroom is amazing. Coffee?”

“Yes please! I’m going to need it!”

“Big day ahead. Don’t worry everything will be fine. If you need help with anything, you can ask me.”

“If you could keep Charles in check, it would help. I’m sacred he will go over the top for Julia. The way he loves her is really cute but he is spoiling her.”

“She is such a daddy’s girl.”

“Oh that she is.”

“She admires him so much. You can see it in her eyes, I struck me when you both came to Monaco GP. I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned out to follow her dad’s path.”

“You know what? I would not be surprised either…”

The morning was filled with sweet scents coming out of the kitchen as Lyanna and her mom was preparing everything for the lunch. In the backyard, Fred was helping Charles setting up the castle.

An hour later, the guests were starting to arrive with birthday presents. Arthur was the first one to spot the castle and run to it as Pascale was trying to tell him to be careful. Everything went well, Julia was taken care of by everyone, getting cuddles and kisses from her uncles and aunts. Arthur was playing with her in the castle, soon joined by Pierre. For a moment Lyanna was scared since the two men were not the most delicate ones, she knew but the warm hand of Charles on her thigh made her relax. As they were almost attacking the cake, she heard the doorbell. Surprised she looked at Charles who was suspiciously avoiding her gaze.

“What did you do, again?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She sighed and got up to open the door. She was surprised to see Max, Kat and Ethan but also Mick Schumacher and his fiancée with their newborn, Romy who was a little over two months.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Charles invited us for Julia’s birthday. He said that it would be nice for her to be around kids.” Explained Max.

“And don’t worry, Ethan is in a good mood today, it will be fine.” Kat reassured Lyanna.

“I’m not worried, it’s just that I would have liked to have a little heads up from my dear husband. That being said, Mick I’m so happy to see you, it’s been a while!”

“Yeah, parenting and all you know how it is. I don’t think we had the pleasure to introduce you to our little Romy.”

Lyanna looked at the little baby in Mick’s fiancée arms and smiled gently. She was cute with her little blond hair and big blue eyes. Finally, Lyanna showed them around and brought them in the backyard where laughs and talks could still be heard loudly. A few other chairs were pulled out by Charles and Lorenzo for the new guests and Lyanna made her way back to the kitchen to bring the cake.

In her godfather’s arms, Julia was intensely looking at Romy and the baby reciprocated her curious gaze. Julia smiled brightly at her and waved making Romy smiled as well. She then showed her the little cars she was playing with, inheriting little hands movements from the newborn.

“If someone and any doubts in regards of your fatherhood, one look at Julia can really convince them that she is your daughter. She looks exactly like you and seems to love cars.” Observed Mick.

“She doesn’t play with anything else other than the little cars. She has an obsession with them. It’s cute.” Said Charles.

“That reminds me, Ethan is exactly the same. We had to buy car plushies too because he didn’t want to sleep without cars around him.”

“Could it be something else with you guys as dads?” asked playfully Kika.

Soon enough, Lyanna was back with a strawberry cake that she put in the middle of the table, in front of Julia. Everyone stood up as Charles and Lyanna were making their way to their daughter to take her from Kika’s arms. As Lyanna was lighting up the candles, Charle was making his daughter bounce in his arms as he was giving her sweet kisses on her cheek to make her laugh. He could swear it was his favourite sounds in the whole wide world. As he was explaining to Julia how to blow the candles, everyone started to sing ‘happy birthday’ to the little girl. And when Julia was ready to try to blow the candles out and took a huge breath with Charles, Ethan beat her to it under the stunned gaze of the guests.

No one knew what to do or what to say. The silence was only broken by Julia’s screams and cries. Charles tried to calm down his daughter that was watching Ethan with daggers in her eyes. Max took his son in his arms and brought him away from the rest of the guests to scold him. As they were walking near a tree, Ethan looked at the little girl, a proud grin on his face.

Kat was profusely excusing her son’s behaviour to Lyanna who was only saying that it was not a big deal and that she could still lighting them up again. But still, Kat told her that they were going to leave to avoid further drama. Charles was feeling guilty. It was his fault. It was him who had invited Max and his family when Lyanna had told him it was not a good idea. He had ignored her and now because of his stupidity, his daughter was crying like he had never seen her cry before.

“Don’t worry Charles, they are just kids. It’s going to get better with time.” Tried to tell him his mother.

“I should have listened to Lya… I ruined my daughter’s birthday.”

“Serves you right. Always listen to your wife, she knows better!” said Artur, receiving a hard look from Pascale that made him shut up.

Max excused himself to Charles and tried to kiss Julia that had her head buried in her father’s neck. When the Verstappens finally left, the mood was not at partying anymore. Lyanna tried to lighten the candles again but Julia was not the smiley and happy girl she was before and it broke her heart. As she was walking back to kitchen pretending to have forgotten a knife for the cake, she let a few tears run down her cheeks. Charles, knowing his wife all too well, followed her and intercepted her to bring her in a corner of the room away from prying eyes.

“Love… I’m so sorry” he said as he was erasing her tears and taking her in his arms where she let the sobs come out of her throat.

“It’s a disaster Charles…”

“It’s entirely my fault.”

“You couldn’t know…”

“Hey, listen to me. We are going to walk back there with happy smiles and pretend that nothing happened, okay? We are going to eat this amazing cake that you baked and we are going to give Julia’s her presents. And it will be fine. And tomorrow, I’m taking you both on the yacht to spend the day as a family. Just us.”

“I just want to see my baby stop crying…”

“Me too, love, me too…”

When they came back, everyone was trying their best to forget about what had happened. Artur and Pierre were back in the castle with Julia to make her laugh and play with her and Lyanna was relieved to her the giggles of her daughter coming from it. They cut the cake and ate it while resuming the conversations. Lyanna and Charles were taking care of Julia as Carla was snapping a few pictures here and there to have happy memories of the day. Julia had been spoiled rotten for her birthday, especially by Charles and Pierre who had taken his duty has godfather very seriously. Despite the incident, it was a happy day and one Charles and Lyanna would never forget. On her side, Julia would never forget it too. But for a whole other reason. In her one year old little mind, the blond boy with the proud grin who had ruined her chance to blow her candles out would remain forever her enemy.

================

taglist: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals @aundercover @ruleroftheuniverse @fangirlika @writerscurse @elijahmikaelsonbitch @leclerc13 @karmabyfernando @stargaryenx @pitlanebabe @boiohboii @reengard @shikshinkwon @smoooothoperator

[the-firebird69]

1996 Pontiac Firebird WS6 - Gateway Classic Cars - Las Vegas #913

and he said it right. lol. it is  a secret even to the micks and with the k and ok he saaid and me as marlon brando.  and we do this it is a jersey shore thing.  iroc z and camero and firebird new ones and ok they might not  on the v6 but ok.  it is a guinnea thing and it is. i have sooo  many cramer said.  and  it is true.  and it is twice the top speed of the NEW ferrari WE copy. and yeh a bit longer and more hp no. lighter. and works.  fast and reinforce it ok so fast.  and it is the cool new one yes. racer. 

he told me how. use the body panel shape on the inside to stick fully and yeh we did not.  and to put the clips on the same way exactly and the rear a must it makes it fast without it no and i did and front end.  stick it on.  yup and oyu can handle the high speeds wont wave or crinkle and tons want it. 

...man o man you should see his face it is a ginnea thinig you missed it totally and i worked likehell saw it and told them guzzy up boys and came over. saw it and a new camero and hahah in the driveway and the ferrari slmost done came in saw it in the driveway and we each get one and ok good idea.  and showed the guys ok but really this car moves.  nd they came in saw it and said wow a ferrari. and new paint cool...and wow it iss that car. an wow and why and faster....and cool strrted to touch it. and al over felt it and fro smooth said we help and cool and then this heard it in myhad too wow gotta. and yes we love it.  and had an italian spread no. we do it our way. and yeh smokes and some drinnks and yes itallian and fun leathers lol. this is fun wnet got tehir cameros. and said this one. jazzed up too.  and he said who is teh big guineea and grandson of Ferrari and th other one is Bogati and the woman.  and hahah ok and tons see it and women want them. and the laughed. hahah lol. song and stuff.  and about hte girl she sings it and the jens an mops and oh now they see it and they are hit.  and fall. good we watch lol. ewww so jersey shore. and laughed.  and it was so awesome looked later and at their talk. so what. ok we do it.  and mean. now they are biting into it.  and said we own Ferrari pout him out and ahhahah lol ahhaahhah lol we cant no way man nope.  and laughed why...macs have it  and said oh boy we see.  and got into it.  they looked at timm d and the vid nd said he is white as a ghost a real car. and yeh fast and they went fast saw it 160 an no way.  fast too about almost a quarter mile choked and said it this stuff is his. no way.  and a gunea nnight and yeh chicks and said what is up new toy dont mention it and no and ok aksed a lot and good.  now they showed the girls and wow le ferrari and use it damnit and good the boy is related. and they are out andoh no.  

they are moving on it and moved fast and we made some prototypes

needs work. and yeh in my shitty garage too small need itt in my work place. classifies and ok they say it we do it ok. and shall.

and yeh partial we do it now. saw i was stumped.  and we needed this.  it is a real italian thing yes.  and we have been there forever see it know it. and yes a status symbol. the wheel base is one inch oh nope less than an inch an it  will be respected he suggests Ferrari but a new name and we do call it that we see you us we name it.  ours. good.  and we cal you in for the act lol grow a bit so i have hair lol and yeh fun ahahah lol.  black leather and such. dress pants no way dress shoes. and my Firebird ok tim d says his and good.  fun ok. fun.  and at a meet and ok angry....hahaha a baby.  

wants his own guineas and will be bigger and says hey kids lets go get some seafood real Hulk say ok and pile in and yeh are twelve foot and laugh. ok. funny stuff.  tries ot hold ruffalos hand says no let go. and move in ahahah tiwve tehier size hhah fishermans pier too

village ok

and we make them now and right.  and can easily in the shop. it goes tons faster.  and mb about 500mph added to it so they want to and we epirement w the kit top end tires rims exhuast now too fun stuff. and jersey was fun and the  fight almost too....real authentico and ok haha stares and away form our women and so on ahha lol twice and good. mine the best and hhaha lol

tommy f

thats great 

lucas

no no it  was fun

dempsy ish 

and more lol fun as hell ok no it was a nightmere but really it was authentico

ahahahah lol me demspy and close to it too no me as the character it was a hoot she was on him and yeh guniea format he was pissed and it wnt downwe witnessed it real jersey shore sh and damn this is awesome i do it and now

demspster

and we mmust now faster do it make a compnay plastic you ssee

and if you melt a boat same stuff and ok the fiber glass tape is plastic see it too

tommy f

and alsmmot enogh

Thor Freya

we tried and added only about 5 percent but ok and now we build it and yeh wwhat a trip he is later though and takes it the wrong way stews and macs use it then finall ok it is  us too

bja we are the in and see it are horrified we fight them stop them now

[bruuluuu]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up to the greatest show on Earth: Parenthood! In this thrilling rollercoaster ride of sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and endless negotiations with pint-sized dictators (aka toddlers), we'll be your trusty sidekick as you navigate the wild world of raising tiny humans. So buckle up – it's going to be a hilarious journey! In our first act – Baby Whisperer: Unlocking the Secrets to Parental Success – we'll reveal how mastering baby talk can transform you into a bona fide infant guru. Next up is From Diapers to Diplomas: A Comedic Guide to Winning at Parenthood. Here, we'll share some laugh-out-loud tips for surviving everything from diaper blowouts (you know what I'm talking about) all the way through high school graduation day. But wait - there's more! Table of contents: How to become a successful parent Baby Whisperer: Unlocking the Secrets to Parental Success From Diapers to Diplomas: A Comedic Guide to Winning at Parenthood Raising Future Geniuses: Hilarious Tips for Top-Notch Parenting Surviving the Toddler-pocalypse: Humorous Strategies for Taming Tiny Tyrants Parent Like a Pro: Laugh Your Way Through Sleepless Nights and Picky Eaters Ah, parenting – that magical journey where you somehow transform from a carefree individual into a responsible adult who's in charge of molding the next generation. It's like being handed the keys to a Ferrari and realizing you've only ever driven bumper cars. But fear not, dear reader! We're here to give you some top-notch advice on how to become the most successful parent this side of Hogwarts (because let's face it, Molly Weasley is #ParentingGoals). So buckle up those diaper bags and prepare for liftoff! First things first: embrace your inner Mary Poppins. No, we don't mean start flying around with an umbrella (though that would be pretty cool), but rather adopt her philosophy of "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." Parenting can be tough – there will be tantrums over broccoli and battles over bedtime – but if you approach each situation with humor and creativity, even those dreaded moments can become opportunities for bonding and growth. For example: when little Timmy refuses his vegetables at dinner time because they're "yucky," why not create an epic tale about brave knights conquering evil dragons made entirely out of Brussels sprouts? Or when Susie won't stop jumping on her bed after lights-out? Transform her bedroom into outer space by dimming the lights and playing astronaut-themed lullabies as she drifts off to sleep among stars. Now that we've tackled mindset, let's talk strategy - specifically communication skills worthy of Oprah herself! As parents-to-be or seasoned veterans in this game called life-with-kids know all too well; communication is key when it comes down navigating through uncharted territory such as potty training mishaps or teenage angst ridden years full rebellion against authority figures like yourself (*cue dramatic eye roll*). The secret sauce here lies within mastering art active listening empathetic responses while maintaining firm yet loving boundaries which allow children feel heard respected without compromising your own values expectations. Sounds like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle, right? Fear not! Start by practicing active listening: when your child is speaking to you, give them your full attention and resist the urge to interrupt or offer solutions immediately. Instead, try paraphrasing what they've said back to them ("So you're feeling upset because Tommy took your toy during playtime?") and validate their emotions ("I can understand why that would make you feel angry."). This simple act of acknowledgment goes a long way in building trust and fostering open communication between parent and child. And there you have it – the ultimate guide on how to become a successful parent (or at least fake it 'til you make it!). Remember: parenting is an ever-evolving journey filled with laughter, tears, surprises (both good and bad), but most importantly love. So go forth into this wild world armed with humor, creativity, empathy - oh! And maybe some earplugs for those sleepless nights ahead... Baby Whisperer: Unlocking the Secrets to Parental Success Are you a parent struggling to get your little one to sleep through the night? Are you looking for ways to make parenting easier and more successful? Well, have no fear! The Baby Whisperer is here! This mysterious figure has been around for centuries, helping parents unlock the secrets of parental success. Through their magical powers of whispering sweet nothings into babies' ears, they can help soothe even the most fussy infants. With just a few gentle words and some soothing sounds, these whisperers can turn any crying baby into an angelic sleeping beauty in no time at all. So if you're feeling overwhelmed by parenthood or just want some tips on how to be a better parent, look no further than the Baby Whisperer! They may not be able to solve all your problems overnight but with their help, you'll soon find yourself mastering this parenting thing like never before. From Diapers to Diplomas: A Comedic Guide to Winning at Parenthood Ah, parenthood. It's a wild ride filled with joys, frustrations, and plenty of surprises along the way. But don't worry - you can be a successful parent! With this comedic guide to winning at parenthood, you'll learn how to go from diapers to diplomas in no time. First things first: get ready for some sleepless nights! You may think that your little bundle of joy will sleep through the night right away – but chances are they won't (at least not until they're much older). So stock up on coffee and prepare yourself for long days ahead. Next up is potty training – one of the most challenging parts of parenting (and one that many parents dread!). The key here is patience; it takes time for kids to learn how to use the toilet properly so don't rush them or expect too much too soon. Be prepared with plenty of rewards and praise when they do something correctly – it'll make all those accidents easier to handle! Once your child has mastered potty training, it's time for school! This is an exciting milestone in any child’s life but also a nerve-wracking experience for parents as well. Don’t worry though; just remember that every kid learns differently so try different methods until you find what works best for yours. And above all else – trust their teachers; they know what’s best when it comes educating children! Finally comes graduation day: after years spent raising your little ones into young adults who are ready take on whatever life throws at them next - whether its college or career paths - there's nothing quite like seeing them walk across that stage with pride and accomplishment written all over their faces. Congratulations mama/papa bear ,you did good ! Raising Future Geniuses: Hilarious Tips for Top-Notch Parenting [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Learn the secrets to becoming a successful parent! Get tips and advice from experts on how to raise children with confidence and help them reach their full potential.[/caption] Raising a future genius is no easy task. But don’t worry, we have some hilarious tips to help you out! First up: make sure your child has plenty of brain food. That means stocking the fridge with lots of fruits and vegetables – and maybe even a few cans of tuna for good measure! And don’t forget to give them plenty of intellectual stimulation too; reading books together or playing educational games can be great ways to get their minds working. Next, it's important that your little one gets enough sleep - so make sure they're tucked in nice and early each night (with their favorite teddy bear, if necessary!). Also, try not to overschedule them; while extracurricular activities are great for developing skills like teamwork and creativity, too much can lead to burnout. Finally – this is probably the most important tip – shower your kid with love! Showing affection will help boost their self-esteem which will in turn foster confidence as they grow older. Plus it'll just make them feel really special - which every genius deserves! Surviving the Toddler-pocalypse: Humorous Strategies for Taming Tiny Tyrants [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Want to be a successful parent? Discover the essential tips and tricks you need to know to raise your children in a healthy and loving environment.[/caption] Ah, the toddler-pocalypse. It's a time of chaos and destruction that can leave even the most experienced parents feeling helpless. But fear not! With these humorous strategies for taming tiny tyrants, you'll be able to survive this tumultuous period with your sanity intact. First off, don't underestimate the power of bribery! Whether it's candy or toys, offering rewards for good behavior is an effective way to get your little one to cooperate (just make sure you don't overdo it). And if all else fails? A good old-fashioned timeout never hurt anyone - just make sure they understand why they're being punished in order to avoid any confusion down the line. When dealing with tantrums and meltdowns, try using humor as a distraction technique - after all laughter is often said to be the best medicine! If nothing else works then take them outside for some fresh air; sometimes getting away from whatever was causing them distress can do wonders in calming them down. Finally remember that patience is key when parenting toddlers - no matter how difficult things may seem at times just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass eventually (even though it might feel like forever!). With these tips in mind you should have no problem surviving through this trying period known as 'the toddler-pocalypse'. Parent Like a Pro: Laugh Your Way Through Sleepless Nights and Picky Eaters [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Discover how to be a successful parent with these simple tips and techniques. Get the guidance you need to raise happy, healthy children! How to become a successful parent[/caption] Are you ready to become a master parent? Well, it's time to get your game face on! Parenting isn't always easy, but with the right strategies and techniques, you can be sure that your kids will grow up into happy and successful adults. One of the most important things for any parent is learning how to laugh through sleepless nights and picky eaters. After all, parenting isn't just about discipline; it's also about having fun! So don't forget to take some time out of your day for a good chuckle or two - even if it means making silly faces at your toddler while they're trying their hardest not to giggle. It's also important that you stay flexible when dealing with picky eaters. Don't worry too much if they won't try something new; instead focus on finding creative ways around the problem by offering them healthy alternatives in an exciting way. For example, why not make dinner into a game by giving them different options each night? That way they'll have something new every day without feeling overwhelmed or pressured into eating something unfamiliar. Finally, remember that being a great parent doesn’t mean never making mistakes – we all do from time-to-time! Just keep in mind that no matter what happens during those sleepless nights or meal times battles – as long as everyone is safe and happy – then everything else will work itself out eventually (even if it takes awhile!). Conferences on Successful Parent https://www.capea.org/annual-conference - The California Parent Educator Association hosts an annual conference for homeschooling and parenting families, with workshops and keynote speakers on topics related to education and child-rearing. https://www.parentingoc.com/events/parenting-oc-conference/ - Parenting OC Magazine hosts an annual conference in Southern California, with speakers and workshops focused on various aspects of parenting, including education, health, and behavior. https://www.cpfcalifornia.org/conference/ - The California Parent Teacher Association hosts an annual convention for parents, teachers, and administrators, with workshops and keynote speakers on topics related to education and advocacy.

[littlemisspascal]

Fast Cars and Lightning Bolts Part 2

Pairing: Din x Female Reader

Word Count: 2100+

Rating: T for whole series

Summary: “I’m here on behalf of Boba Fett. Suppose, hypothetically speaking, he wanted his company to win the Boonta Eve Classic. You’re one of the only racers still alive who’s done that. So I came to ask you,” she takes a breath, spreads her palms out with an air of frankness, “what does it take?”

Warnings: Racing AU, heavily inspired by the film Ford v Ferrari, dialogue heavy, language, angst, references of death but no graphic details, worldbuilding, Reader and Din are exes, No physical characteristics of Reader described except for having hair + a heart condition (I’m not a doctor, all medical details are fictional)

Author Note: Decided to officially declare this a series. A very relaxed, sporadically updated series--but still a series. Hope someone out there enjoys this 😊 All likes, comments, and reblogs super appreciated 💗

Also please note Part 3 is the original one-shot I posted, but it is now updated to better flow with the events of Part 1 and 2.

PART 1 / PART 3

The sales floor is swamped with customers and staff. Peli’s darting around each of the four corners, finalizing sales and answering questions, returning to your side every ten minutes with a new clipboard of documents needing your signature.

Sunlight filters in through the open windows of the building, a cool breeze toying with your hair, and at Ahsoka’s workstation a radio blares an upbeat tune by The Max Rebo Band. Unlike most car dealerships where employees are expected to wear fancy suits and fake smiles, you prefer a casual work environment full of car enthusiasts like yourself, unafraid to get motor oil on their hands and know the difference between a crankshaft and a camshaft without having to look on the HoloNet.

“Got a Trandoshan interested in Canary Classic and some senator’s son chomping at the bit to test drive our only Canary Moonlight out on the street,” Peli tells you, popping up at your side midwalk around the sales floor. 

“Does the kid have a license?”

“I asked and you know what the little punk told me?” Peli nudges you to a halt, propping a hand on her hip with an exasperated expression that has you smirking even before she says, “He doesn’t have to show me a license because he’s Senator Blah Blah’s son. I should recognize him by his looks alone.”

You snort. “Yeah, no. Tell Senator Blah Blah’s son he either shows a license or he’s got to find somewhere else to make dumbass demands.”

Peli nods and turns to leave, only to freeze in place as a Zephyr-J motorbike pulls up outside the entrance. You watch as the rider removes their helmet, revealing a woman dressed in a black jacket with orange stripes and dark braided hair, exuding grace and strength with every movement. When you approach to meet her at the doorway, she isn’t subtle in observing you from head to toe with a quick once-over. 

“Lightning Bolt?” She says it like a question, but the way her lips curl at the edges into a small grin gives you the impression this stranger knows exactly who you are.

“Depends who’s asking,” you reply, returning the smile with a cautiously friendly one of your own.

“Fennec Shand.” Her handshake is firm, professional. “Fett Motor Company.”

There’s a beat which follows the announcement, as though she expects you to have a reaction of some kind. It’s only because of your racing background you maintain your neutral expression, remembering what it was like to hide your true emotions from the press and their constantly recording cameras.

Internally, you’re about as calm as a leaf in the wind. 

The thing about Fett Motor Company is that, not only is it run out of the desert city Mos Espa where the BEC is held annually, it is also owned by Boba Fett who changed his career from bounty hunter to crime lord three years ago after he murdered the previous Daimyo. You haven’t been to Mos Espa in over a year, but you’ve heard of the positive changes and improvements made to the city under Fett’s control. You’ve also heard some not-so-positive remarks about Fett cars. Their engines are powerful, almost unbelievably so considering the company’s youth, but the heavy weight and clunky shape of their vehicles makes steering a challenge and average speed on the low end compared to other cars in the galaxy. 

Let’s just say, it wouldn’t be egotistical of you to claim your Canary could go around a track several laps before a Fett Rancor ever finished its first.

But even though Fett’s cars may not have much of a solid reputation, the Daimyo himself is not one to be trifled with. And the last thing you want is trouble with the crime lord, so despite your uneasiness, you direct Fennec to your office upstairs where you conduct all your important meetings. 

If she does catch a glimpse of your anxiety peeking out of your mask, she politely doesn’t comment on it. Still, you linger on the sales floor after she’s left, signing a few more documents for Peli while also using the spare minutes to ready yourself for whatever it is Fennec wants to discuss. You have the distinct feeling it’s going to be a strange ordeal.

Upstairs, you find the woman observing the contents of your shelves. Old trophies and awards Peli insisted needed to be displayed so any potential business investors could see how well-established you are in the racing community. But Fennec isn’t looking at any of them, you realize upon a second glance. She’s found the only thing up there that’s of sentimental value rather than monetary.

“A pink carnation?” she inquires, studying the flower carefully preserved in a glass frame, as beautiful and vibrant as the day it was given to you what feels like a whole lifetime ago.

And that day, just like the flower, will always be preserved in your memory like this: summer heat, first anniversary, a drive down the coast, shy smiles, fingers grazing during the exchange of the pink bloom. So you won’t forget about me when you’re rich and famous. 

“Long story,” you explain with a dismissive gesture, pushing thoughts of brown eyes out of your head. You then perch yourself on the edge of your desk. “Now, what brings you all the way from Mos Espa to see me, Ms. Shand?”

“Fennec, please,” she corrects, turning to face you. “I’m here on behalf of Boba Fett. Suppose, hypothetically speaking, he wanted his company to win the Boonta Eve Classic. You’re one of the only racers still alive who’s done that. So I came to ask you,” she takes a breath, spreads her palms out with an air of frankness, “what does it take?”

You lean further back on your desk a little, unable to keep your eyebrows from rising with surprise. Fennec just stares back at you. Not critically like the Twi’leks had done back at Galma, but calmly and patiently. Waiting for you to find your words on your own time.

“Well, hypothetically speaking, it takes something credits can’t buy,” you declare at last.

“Credits can buy speed,” Fennec counters.

“It’s not about speed.” You shake your head because she doesn’t understand, can’t understand unless she’s driven the BEC herself. “This isn’t like other races where all you have to do is turn left and go in circles for a couple of hours. To win the BEC, you need a car that is lightweight enough to reach 200 on the straightaways, but also strong enough to endure thousands of miles across sand and rock with limited breaks. This car has to be the best you’ve ever made and be ten times better than whatever Moff Gideon’s team shows up with that year. And if you’re lucky, that’s just what gets you to the starting line. Then your real problems start.”

Fennec tilts her head in acknowledgment, but her voice comes out a little wry around the edges. “So, you’re saying it’s challenging?”

“It’s not even a track, Fennec,” you say with thinly veiled frustration, and the woman blinks with surprise as your carefully composed mask begins cracking around the edges. “The circuit for the Boonta Eve Classic is made up of large stretches of desert plains, narrow canyons full of twists and turns, and part of the Laguna Caves underground. There are no paved roads. No safety rails. And you have to keep driving for twenty-four hours with an average speed of 130 if you wanna be a serious contender. Twenty-four hours.”

You tap your fingernail on your desk for emphasis, drilling the words into the wood. The Boonta Eve Classic was designed first and foremost as a test of endurance, separating it from all other races in the galaxy where the main goal was simply to have the fastest time. For the BEC, it’s the number of laps a car (and its driver) can handle without falling apart which determines the winner. 

“It’s in the middle of summer so heatstroke and dehydration are serious risks. And then once the sun sets, half the race is in darkness. Cars and giant rocks coming up out of nowhere. An explosion of fire if the two collide. A driver stumbling out of the wreckage, bleeding buckets. Maybe they’re on fire too. Maybe they’re your friend.”

Your physical body might remain in your office, but your mind drifts back in time to the scariest, most exhilarating twenty-four hours of your whole life. The stench of sweat and gasoline fills your nostrils, a current of electric adrenaline flowing through your muscles, and your eyes burn from a combination of exhaustion and smoke billowing out from flaming vehicles. One of your closest friends, Omera Jones, experienced brake failure during her 156th lap, crashing straight into the side of a canyon. Doctors said it was a miracle she lived through it with only a broken arm as her worst injury. The fates of three other drivers weren’t so fortunate. Their deaths were bloody and horrific, and their faces, despite being total strangers to you, are forever etched into a corner of your brain.  

“Either way,” your voice is quieter now, softer, weighted down with nostalgia and just a hint of trauma, “you have to keep going, hour after hour, until dawn breaks. You’re exhausted as hell, starving, can barely remember your own name or why any of this matters. And then you realize you’re flying by the Dune Sea at nearly 200 miles an hour. Anything goes wrong—blow a gasket or a tire or even a tiny five credit washer—and that’s it. You’re done. The Imperials win again. Like they won last year and the year before that and the year before that.”

You blink once, twice, three times before coming back to the present with a quiet inhale of breath. There are two sides to the BEC in your memories—-one bloodcurdling and perilous, responsible for your deteriorating health. The other extraordinary and invigorating, responsible for your golden reputation. Simply put, the BEC is as deeply interwoven with your identity as your own flesh and bones.

Fennec looks thoughtful, maybe a little thrown off balance, but at least she seems to be seriously absorbing all you said.

 “So, yeah,” you tell her, offering a crooked grin. “It’s challenging.”

The corner of Fennec’s mouth twitches. “What I’m hearing is you don’t think Fett Motor Company can build the greatest race car the galaxy’s ever seen? You don’t think we’re capable of winning an event like that?” She steps closer, not unlike a Loth Wolf hoping to corner its prey. “Even if we had the best and brightest partner? Even if we wrote a blank check?”

You meet her stare evenly. “Credits can’t buy first place, Fennec. But maybe,” your crooked grin turns sincere, perhaps a little wider than usual with tentative excitement. “Maybe they can buy the woman who’ll get you your closest shot.”

~~

Later that night, after Fennec’s long gone and your staff have returned to their homes, including Peli who’s already devising several hundred plans for Fett’s future race car, you sit behind your desk holding a torn piece of paper. It’s a bit crinkled from months spent stashed away in the back of your desk’s drawer, but the number scribbled in neat handwriting is still readable. Still makes something in your chest sting worse than a bug bite.

You rub at your forehead, declare yourself an idiot, and then punch the numbers into your comlink. 

He picks up on the second ring, saying your name. His voice is marred by the crackling of static, but the familiarity of it freezes you in place. He repeats your name again in the same incredulous way, and you can picture him in his garage, oil stains on his clothes, that little crease between his eyebrows as he tries to figure out why the hell you’re calling him when you swore you’d never do it again.

“Alright, I’m going to hang up now,” Din says.

Startling back to awareness, your grip on the comlink tightens. “No, wait, please!”

He heaves a sigh, but does stay connected. You think of that bond of loyalty again, wonder if maybe you’re not the only one who still feels it. And suddenly there’s all these words bubbling in your throat you want to say to him, but the timing isn’t right, the moment too unsteady.

Choking down the words, you instead tell him, “I need to talk to you. It’s about the BEC.”

A long enough pause of silence follows you think he’s hung up, and then—

“Fine. But you’re buying me dinner.”

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 118/304

2013 British GP

Welcome back to Silverstone! You’re not ready for that drama believe me.

LEWIS IS ON POLE! Almost half a second ahead of Rosberg! Let's gooo! The journalist says what they saw in quali was "the Lewis of old". I like that. It speaks to me. I love him hungry and fighting.

Oh. My. God. The summary shows so much Lewis content! I'm excited! 

But let's start by taking a look at the championship standings : Seb is comfortably ahead with 132 points, followed by Alonso with 96, Raikkonen with 88 and Lewis with 77. Mercedes is also currently third in the WCC. 

Quali report. Jenson couldn't get into Q3, neither could Perez. Ferrari and Lotus criticized Pirelli for bringing the hard and medium tyres, saying it was too conservative. Alonso barely made it into Q3, while Massa couldn't. Raikkonen was outqualified by Grosjean. Di Resta was 5th but he got disqualified for… brace yourself… an underweight car. Yep. Underweight. Seb is ahead of Webber. Lewis was unhappy with the balance of the car in FPs but he still took pole position. 

Lewis is with Martin Brundle, in the paddock, surrounded by fans, to talk about the pole lap. He says they have the best fans there in the UK, of course. He's very proud that he got the pole for them. Oh he says the pit straight is bumpy so the car is bottoming. Very foreshadowing lol. He's explaining his lap I understand about 5% of what he's talking about but he's loving it so I'm loving it. He has a stuffy nose. Brundle says he must have known immediately– but Lewis cuts him off : no, you never do, because Nico has been particularly quick. He didn't even look at the dashboard, and then a couple of turns later he was told Seb had crossed the line and he was on pole. Brundle asks if he can try to make these people happy (and gestures to the small crowd around them) at the end of the race. Lewis says he'll try his best.

OHhh Webber has announced his retirement I guess? 

Oh. My. God. They did a British quiz with all the British drivers so Lewis, Jenson, Max Chilton and Paul Di Resta. (also Johnny and Anthony). Lewis is eating a lollipop 😭

Jenson is CHEATING massively and even admits it.

So round 1 was British questions, I guess. Round 2 is F1 related question. First off they have a composite image of 5 drivers and they have to find out who they are. Lewis is remarkably good at it, but he might also have cheated. He finds 4 out of 5 of them quickly.

Then they have to guess who are the blacked out people on podium pictures. Round 3. One person in each team (Johnny and Anthony) are blindfolded and have to guess what they are eating. First was fig, it's alright. But the second one is pickled onion and they're not too happy about it, though the four drivers are having the time of their life. Third is mustard. Four is something called gherkin (? I guess it’s just pickles in British English). Then anchovy paste. I mean it's just torture at this point and they're all giggling like school kids. Lewis’ team wins 11 to 7. He receives a toy bone for Roscoe!

During the drivers' parade Lewis talks again about the fans and how many came and bla bla bla.

He says it's surreal and the support means everything to them. It'll be hard to keep the Redbulls behind but they'll do everything they can.

The grid walk is lasting ages, can we race please? 

Alright, here we go. 

Formation lap 

They're racing! 

Amazing start for Lewis while Seb overtakes Nico. Massa also had an unbelievable start, he's up 6 places! Lewis sets the fastest lap, but he's only 1.2 seconds ahead of Seb. This is not going to be easy.

Ohhh fuck. 

Lewis has a puncture. Like a serious completely-destroyed-tyre-puncture. I at least hope he can go back out once he gets to the pit but that's a long way to go, there might be further damage at this point. Damn it was so sudden and the tyre disintegrated for some reason… loads of tyre debris on the track. Lewis is sent out again. He's dead last, of course. We're on lap 10.

Same for Massa??? Same tyre. He spun. But he's driving back to the pits as well. Alonso and Webber pit, they might be expecting a Safety Car but it doesn't come. Green flags all around again. Brundle says Massa has more damage than Lewis but he's also sent out. Rosberg pits from P2. Lewis is up in 18th already. Seb is called in. He's still in the lead and Rosberg is still P2. 

AND ANOTHER ONE?! It's JEV this time. Same tyre, same damage! Honestly wtf Pirelli? This race should be red flagged, it's dangerous af. What is happening. Raikkonen almost received a huge piece of tyre in the head. Yes, they're sending the Safety Car out. There's so much debris on the track. The drivers are told to keep off the kerbs. Lewis is P14 now. Lap 20.

The Safety Car comes in. There's a four way battle between Sutil, Alonso, Raikkonen and Grosjean for P3. No DRS at the moment but they're all under a second from each other. Lewis is attacking Gutierrez for P13. It's done. Everything is close. Lewis is now P12. It's lap 30.

Alonso pits. Grosjean pits. Lewis is P9. P8. He's now attacking Di Resta who gets called in anyway and Raikkonen is just behind him as well. He gets overtaken. By Alonso as well? Well they do have fresh tyres I believe. At least fresher than his. Force India double stack their drivers. Rosberg pits from P2, he's out in P2. Seb pits from the lead in answer. He's still ahead. Webber overtakes Alonso for P4. JEV retires. Lewis pits, he's out in 11th, and gets immediately overtaken by Di Resta. But he doesn't give up and attacks back. It doesn't work. Lewis gets the DRS. It's very close. Lewis gets ahead! 

Lap 41, Lewis up in P10. Oh! HO! SEB SLOWED DOWN, ROSBERG IS IN THE LEAD. "Lost drive, lost the gearbox". It's over for him. Safety car is out, he's stopped in the pit straight, they can't get him there. 10 laps to go. Rosberg pits. Webber pits. 9 laps to go. 8 laps to go. Rosberg is told they think one of his tyre is starting to delaminate? But he just pitted. Or was that from before his stop? The lapped cars are unlapping themselves. 7 laps to go. Here they go again. 6 laps to go. P8. ANOTHER TYRE FAILURE HOLY SHIT. It's a McLaren. Perez. 5 laps to go. Yellow flags. P7. Perez is out, there's too much damage to the floor. Alonso overtakes Ricciardo for P5 but here comes Lewis and he's up in P6! 4 laps to go. Webber overtakes Raikkonen for P2. Alonso overtakes Sutil for P4, Lewis is half a second behind… 3 laps to go. And Lewis is up in P5! 2 laps to go. Alonso overtakes Raikkonen for the podium. LEWIS IN P4! Final lap! He's just half a second behind Alonso but that's a lot to ask. 

It's the end of the race! 

Rosberg wins ahead of Webber and Alonso. Lewis went from P1 to P22 to P4, what a recovery. And these exploding tyres are seriously concerning. 

We hear from Paul Hembry, the Pirelli motorsport director. They are currently analysing the tyres to understand what happened and get the facts. They'll let people know when they have the answers. The journalists ask further questions but he basically just says they can't answer until they're done with the analysis. 

Alright let's hear from Lewis.

Natalie Pinkham asks if it's similar to losing a tyre on a highway. He says it's just as dangerous, if not more. (His body language is very low energy). He says it's very unfortunate, the fans have been great, it looked like they were on their way to a win, the car was great… but big congratulations to Nico and the team. He's just glad he was able to catch up and get some points. Yeah lol thanks Natalie, I was about to write that going from 22 to 4 wasn't just "catching up" and so she says, and then asks if it's not rather spectacular finishing where he finished after what happened. Definitely, he agrees. Back there he doubted he could get any point at all, so he's very grateful for the result and he's looking forward to the next race because given how well the car was performing, they have more chances of winning.

She asks about the testing they did with Pirelli and how the argument in defense of it was that it was to work on the tyres, "clearly more work needs to be done". He looks down and hums. He looks up and smiles. He's uncomfortable, clearly he's been instructed about this topic. "Yeah… I don't know really what to say!" he chuckles.

He's just gonna bite his tongue and hold it in, he says with a wide smile, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"But does it concern you in terms of safety?" she asks in a softer tone. "Yep." He nods. "Big time, but um…"

He looks serious."They need to do something."

We hear his radio at the end of the race. Brawn congratulates him for a wonderful drive and says he's sorry it didn't work out. He says "fantastic job this weekend guys, it's a shame about the tyre." 

[nikethestatue]

La Dolce Vita

Summary: Elain Archeron and Azriel - in love, in lust, in Italy

Modern AU *slight TOG crossover. If you read my stuff, you know it’s LONG

Warnings: bad language and THIS IS NSFW (not kidding, this is a story, not just sex, but there is a LOT of explicit material here. You can still read the story, but if you are sensitive or underage, skip the naughty bits)

Comments are always appreciated/wanted/needed. Anon or not, just do it! Obviously, reblogs are appreciated. 

Part I (Flowers)

 La Vie En Rose

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens (Of the man to whom I belong)  Quand il me prend dans ses bras Il me parle l'a tout bas (He speaks to me softly) Je vois la vie en rose (And I see life in pink) Il me dit des mots d'amour (He speaks words of love to me) Des mots de tous les jours (They are every day words) Et ça m' fait quelque chose (And they do something to me) Il est entré dans mon coeur (He has entered into my heart) Une part de bonheur (A bit of happiness) Dont je connais la cause (That I know the cause of) C'est lui pour moi (It's only him for me) Moi pour lui dans la vie (And me for him, for life)

Now

Riding in a Ferrari, being enveloped in its supple, buttery leather, gulping in the cypress and cedar-scented air of Tuscany was everything that Elain Archeron had ever wanted. She never knew that this is what she wanted, because riding in very fast, very expensive, sleek Italian cars wasn’t on her ‘fantasy radar’, but now that she was in one, she suddenly came to the realization that this was perhaps one of the best experiences of her life.

The whole thing, so far, has been the best experience of her life.

Well…maybe not the best-best.

Her happiness was deeply intertwined with and caused by the man in the driver seat of the said Ferrari—Azriel. Azriel Archeron, as he loved calling himself. Even if this wasn’t his last name, he preferred using it over his family name, for a variety of personal reasons. There was nothing better, more sublime, more beautiful and more loving than Azriel. The perfect male specimen, if she could say so herself. No one would argue with her assessment either.

Elain

 They were introduced by her sister’s then-boyfriend Cass, who was giving her a lift one afternoon, and then suggested that they stop by Azriel’s car atelier, because he needed to pick something up.

Elain’s heard of the mysterious Azriel from her sisters, both of whom had claimed that he was the most handsome man that either one of them had ever seen. Elain chuckled at the exuberant praise, doubting its truthfulness. There was no such thing as the ‘most handsome’ man. Beauty was in the eyes of the beholder.

She wasn’t sure what a car atelier was, and when Cassian pulled up to a modern-looking building, she said that she’d stay in the car and wait.

“Come on, petal, don’t be shy,” Cassian urged her, holding the car door open for her in a way that indicated that she’d have to get out and follow him.

They entered the foyer, a vast space with racing stripes painted on the polished cement floor, and a sea of model cars dropping from the ceiling. Behind a wall of glass, Elain spied a row of gorgeous cars, none of which were familiar to her. Some unique European models, fit for James Bond’s consumption. There were also neat antique cars, probably from the 50s. She immediately had visions of Grace Kelly and Cary Grant riding in one of these along the Riviera coast.

“What’s this place?” she inquired, looking around at the mid-century modern building that resembled a spaceship.

“This is Az’s baby,” Cass explained vaguely. “Conceived, conceptualized, restored, outfitted—all by the brilliant mind of one Azriel Bagarat.”

“Are you bragging?”

A deep, sensual voice, that could only be called ‘midnight’ sounded behind them, and Cassian’s handsome, tanned face broke in a mischievous smile. “Only about you, brother!”

When Elain turned around, her breath was knocked out from her lungs.

She didn’t know that it was possible, to be actually stunned by someone’s beauty, but there she stood, gaping, feeling the world slow and move in a different manner for a few moments.

Standing at a towering 6”4 or so, the man was at least as tall as Cassian, and Cassian was the tallest man Elain’d ever met. She was just as muscular, but not as bulky. Clad in all black, from expensive, well-tailored Diesel jeans, to a soft t-shirt that stretched over his sharply cut torso, emphasizing the thick muscles of his arms and shoulders, and the narrow waist, true to her sisters’ word, this Azriel was simply exquisite.

Cassian draped his heavy arm around her shoulders and nudged her forward, just a bit, and said,

“Petal, say hello! This is my brother, Azriel. Az, this is my soon-to-be-sister-in-law, the one and only Elain Archeron.”

At the words ‘sister-in-law’ Elain whipped her head to Cassian, who grinned maniacally at her, nodding and answering her silent question.

“When? What are you talking about?” she exclaimed, Azriel momentarily forgotten. “What do you mean? You’ve only been seeing each other for like three months?!?”

“Baby girl, I don’t need three years to decide…Nes is Nes and she is the one for me.”

He shrugged with his usual ease, acting like they were discussing the weather or a good burger that he just ate.

“If Nes hears even a whiff of this, I will know it’s you, petal, and well, I am not sure what I will do,” he decided upon reflection, but then pleaded, “please, don’t tell her. This one,” he nodded towards Azriel, who was standing still, green eyes peeled to Elain, “I can trust. He hardly ever talks,”

“That’s because you talk for all of us,” noted Azriel with a smirk.

Elain chuckled, and turned back to face him.

He extended his hand to her, with an odd, tentative movement, and when she looked down, she saw old, mottled scars that covered his palm and part of his wrist and forearm. A vintage Patek Phillipe on his wrist.

“Beautiful,” she murmured, and he gave her a surprised look, unsure of what she was referring to.

“It’s always a pleasure to meet another Archeron sister,” he said with a soft smile, which made Elain lose her ability to speak for a good few moments, because she was finally able to take in that face that defied description. The sharp cheekbones and the mesmerizing amber and emerald eyes, almond-shaped and slanted hinted at a varied heritage, and unfairly, the man also possessed a perfect nose, and a full, sensuous mouth. He was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome, with skin of burnished bronze, which was so in contrast to his bright eyes and raven-black hair, cut in a fashionable undercut. The physique, as she already noted, quickly skimming over the body, matched the face.

“Yes, me too,” she said stupidly.

Graceful, like a courtier, he offered her his arm and said,

“Would you like me to show you around?”

She didn’t want to be impolite, though she suddenly felt sweaty and nervous, and completely out of her league. But she threaded her hand through his arm and lightly squeezed the firm, alarmingly thick bicep.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

She wasn’t sure what she was thinking him for, so she added, “yes, I’d love to see it.”

“Why haven’t we met?” he inquired, those green eyes watching her with such intensity that she felt almost undressed, bared under the gaze. It wasn’t unpleasant, because it wasn’t lascivious, and he didn’t strike her as someone who’d be disrespectful to women.

“I’ve been busy for the past half a year,” she explained.

“Doing what?”

They walked down the wide passage, past all the cars, which Azriel pointed out with a wave of his scarred hand, and dropped names like Pagani, BMW I8, Bugatti Divo, Bugatti Centodieci, Lamborghini Veneto, Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita and so forth. Elain might not have known a ton about cars, but she was not so unaware not to know that a Bugatti and a Lambo were expensive cars.

Cassian fell behind, gawking at the display.

“I was opening my own business,” Elain said, her head thrown back, looking at an entire toy racetrack mounted to the ceiling, with cars zooming by, and somehow, not falling on patrons’ heads.

“What sort of business?”

“Flowers,” she said absently, once they reached another space—a two story-restaurant, bar, and a patio outside as well.

“Flowers?”

“Oh, a flower shop,” she explained at last. Then muttered, awed, “this is really incredible!”

“A car enthusiast?” he smirked.

She didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, her hand migrated from the crook of his arm to his hand, and now, they walked along the walls lined with Ferrari posters, memorabilia and expensive everything. Walking and holding hands.

“I wouldn’t call myself one,” she admitted, “but I find cars aesthetically pleasing…Never got to ride in anything fancier than a Mercedes or a Lexus,”

“Well, we should remedy that at once!” he decided easily and then said, “pick you up on Friday at seven?”

That sobered her up a bit and she turned to face him. They stopped at the long, chrome-lined bar, and he said, “An espresso?”

“Um,”

But before she could respond, he was behind the counter, playing with a very fancy coffee machine that required a PhD to operate with all the levers and hooks and buttons, and in a few minutes, he poured her a tiny cup of coffee, thick with natural foam, and heady with its enticing scent.

He chugged his own in one go and she followed him, gulping her espresso in two sips. It was better than anything she’d ever drunk in her life.

“Like a date?” she finally asked, truly confused by the offer.

“Would you like it to be a date?” he leaned on the bar, biceps flexing, his arms covered in tattoo sleeves that reached all the way to his fingers. They were quite beautiful, the tattoos, the placement and the design, and Elain recognized the style, since Cassian and Rhysand wore the same kinds of tattoos, if not so extensive.

“Did you draw these?” she asked bluntly, touching her finger to a thick snaking black line, which was shaded with cobalt.

He looked down, at her hand and his arm and nodded, following her finger with his eyes.

“I did. For the three of us. When we made Navy Seals,”

“You are a Seal, too?” she exclaimed.

He smiled and nodded, “Well, we all grew up in foster care—not all, Cass and I,”

“I heard,”

“Until Rhys’s parents adopted us. But we weren’t the…best of boys,” he chortled, “so to get our heads straight, we were sent to the Navy after school. We figured we’d only stay a bit, but we stayed for a while.”

“So, you are retired?”

“We are vets,”

“How old are you?” she blurted. Then blushed and said, “I am sorry. I am usually not so impolite,”

He laughed, “I figured. But that’s alright. I’ll tell you on Friday, though. If you don’t mind?”

“I mean, I don’t mind,” she murmured, her eyes dropping to her espresso cup, “but,”

“How about this—I take you on a drive in one of these fancy cars—and then you can brag to everyone that you’d driven in a,”

He paused and rubbed his chin,

“Any preference?”

“For what?”

“What car you’d like to go in?”

“I don’t know,”

“Throw something at me,” he urged, eyes glinting with feral delight.

Elain, blush deepening, finally said, “Do you have a Ferrari? I’ve always wanted to drive in a Ferrari.”

“Ahhh, a Ferrarista at heart!” he nodded with approval, folding his arms on his chest, “stick with the classic and the best. And yes, gorgeous, I do have a Ferrari or two.”

Gorgeous.

Azriel

The girl who’d arrived with Cassian, was not Nesta, but there was something vaguely familiar about her. The girl who’d arrived with Cassian was the most gorgeous creature that Azriel had ever seen. Gorgeous and completely unaware.

Women like her, if they were smart and cunning and ambitious, used their beauty for all things good and terrible. But this exquisite creature that Cassian was so blatantly hugging and teasing wasn’t one of those women. Azriel was all too familiar with the types—the maneaters, who hounded him like sharks. He was wealthy, and good-looking, and a decent person, if not exactly a saint. He hobnobbed with celebrities who came to order his cars, which he designed and outfitted based on their specifications and desires.

He was finnicky when it came to taste though. No matter how much rappers asked him to clad their Maybach in gold or some vapid Gucci print, no matter how many heiresses pouted and asked for a bubblegum or Barbie-pink Ferraris, he did not betray the essence and soul of the vehicle. Modify, define, sharpen, stylize—he did it all with precision and skill which was unparalleled. But Azriel Bagarat was known for rejecting even the juiciest of offers, if the request did not coincide with his aesthetic or the history of the car.

He was at his shop—that’s what he called it, though atelier sounded infinitely better and more expensive—that afternoon, knowing that Cassian was going to drop by and select a car for his grandiose proposal to Nesta. There was some concern that Cassian would not fit his 6”5 form into an Aston Martin or a Bentley, so they needed to make sure that the car was appropriate for the occasion and the occupant. Cass insisted on a British vehicle, feeling that Nesta would like something classic and timeless. So be it.

What Azriel did not expect to see that Tuesday afternoon was a girl--because he hesitated to call her a ‘woman’, since she looked so lovely and perfect and innocent--who took his breath away.

His breath had been taken away only once before, by Rhys’s cousin, who strolled like a ray of sunshine into their broken lives.

However, Morrigan chose Cassian. And then Cassian promptly impregnated her, causing a great discontent and strife between everyone. Morrigan, or rather Morgana d’Adda, though she anglicized her name, even if Morrigan d’Adda sounded funny, was just about disavowed by her family for tumbling, and being so stupid and blind as to get knocked up by a hulking nobody mulatto, as her father Keir called Cassian. Rather, sneered, at Cassian.

Even if Azriel didn’t impregnate anybody, he somehow got looped into the family bullshit and once he and Cassian turned 18, they were both shipped off to the navy. To the dismay of the entire Darling clan, Rhys followed them, tossing away his guaranteed admittance to Brown. An Ivy League school for rich stupid heirs. Only Rhys wasn’t stupid. Neither was Cassian a hulking nobody mulatto. And Azriel wasn’t just the ‘fucking weird kid, who might be a serial killer’. They served and they passed the insane Navy Seal training, and they proved themselves.

Nowadays, Cassian now ran security for the Darling conglomerate, while Rhys took over the reins when his father was killed in a car accident. Azriel found his own path, though the association with the Darling name certainly helped his exposure and in building relationships and meeting all the right people. And meeting all the women. The three brothers had gone through their share of wild times, but in the past 3 years, things began to calm down for them.

It began with Rhys meeting Feyre Archeron at an art gallery, where she was exhibiting some of her pieces. Azriel had tugged along with Rhys to see the exhibit, because Rhys was looking for some art for his new office, and he trusted Azriel’s taste and knowledge, and wanted a second pair of eyes.

Rhys followed Feyre like a dog throughout the evening—Azriel was there to witness the pathetic display—and then they ended up at a bar, doing shots and feeding Feyre virgin Cosmos, since she wasn’t even 21 yet. They went to some dance club, Azriel playing the third-wheel and ‘chaperone’, though by the end of the night, Rhys and Feyre disappeared together and weren’t heard from for the next three days.

… “What if he killed her?” proposed Cassian for 100th time, pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his long black hair. “Or what if she killed him?”

“I thought that I was the serial killer among the three of us,” drawled Azriel, sprawled on a sofa, watching a game. He wasn’t as concerned, having seen Rhys dripping with intense lust at the sight of the brown-haired teen. It was unusual, since at that time Rhys was almost 25, and Feyre only 19, and the three of them typically tried to avoid teenagers like the plague. But Rhysand Darling seemed genuinely enthralled.

“No, you are the guy with the sex dungeon,” corrected Cassian.

Azriel rolled his eyes, “serial killer with a sex dungeon, huh? Sounds like an interesting story. Alas, much as I’d like to, I don’t have a sex dungeon.”

“Aren’t you building one? In that new garage of yours?” Cassian shrugged.

“Only cars. No sex toys,” sighed Azriel, looking like that might have been an omission on his part.

“Gents, I think I am in love!” the door burst open and a wild-eyed Rhys appeared, his normally pristine hair in disarray, his cheeks flushed, wearing only a white t-shirt and jeans.

“Where the fuck were you for three days?” growled Cassian, showing considerable relief at the sight of his brother.

“Falling in love,” crooned Rhys, falling into a chair, a stupid, dazed look on his face.

“You look like Audrey Hepburn in ‘Sabrina’,” noted Azriel.

“I feel like Audrey Hepburn!” exclaimed Rhys. “She is perfect. Feyre is perfect.”

What the fuck? Mouthed Cassian in confusion.

“Feyre Darling,” whispered Rhys with delight, eyes closed, tasting the sound of the name on his tongue. “Feyre Archeron Darling. Or Feyre Darling Archeron?”

“You alright there, buddy?” Cassian frowned. “A little early to be talking last names?”

“She’ll be my wife,” announced Rhysand with his usually unwavering confidence.

And that was that.

Now, the ‘society wedding of the year’ was coming up in three months. Rhysand Darling and Feyre Archeron, the toast of the town, the power couple, the young and beautiful billionaires.

 Now, Azriel stood in front of the most stunning female he’d ever seen and for once, he felt like Rhys. His brain turned into a soupy mess, and he found himself tongue-tied and concentrating was suddenly difficult. He wanted to be a gracious host and a confident, formidable man, who had a reputation to uphold—though he wasn’t sure if Elain was aware of his reputation—but inside, he was a mess. All his insecurities, doubts and self-hate rose to the surface at once, and he hesitated to extend his hand in greeting to her. His mangled, horrible, revolting hand, which was sullied beyond its extensive scars. A hand that killed, and touched way too women, some of whom he probably shouldn’t have been touching at all.

“Beautiful,” she murmured softly, that gorgeous blush spreading over her rose-petal cheeks.

He was so taken aback by the comment, he was nearly flabbergasted when she didn’t pull away, didn’t frown or grimace in disgust, didn’t display any of the usual signs of revulsion that most women did when they saw his hands. Perhaps it was the Patek Phillipe, he tried to convince himself, but deep down he knew—she called his scars ‘beautiful’.

And then she took his arm, her hand strong, surprisingly calloused, if light, and small.

And from that moment on, Azriel became obsessed with that touch.

His body heated and as he led her to the bar, and showed her around his pride and joy, watching for the subtle reactions, for the gleam of wonder and appreciation in her eyes, he couldn’t release…wouldn’t release her hand from his. She asked questions, took in all the memorabilia and gawked at the cars, and then the guest area, and finally, when he sat her down at the bar and made her a coffee, he stepped closer. Trying not to scare her, or seem obnoxious, he couldn’t help invading her personal space, and stood next to her, pretending to take interest in his drink, while hoping that her arm would brush against his own. Skin to skin.

She didn’t pull away. Didn’t shy away.

He didn’t expect himself to ask her on what amounted to a date, because he wasn’t even sure how dates worked. His usual ammo consisted of a brief introduction, an even quicker seduction and then a hook up. That’s how he liked it. He preferred no-strings-attached approach to his involvement with women, and it’s been working rather well for him. He never had to sleep with anyone in the same bed, he never had to make anyone breakfast, there was no room for idle chitchat, and usually no second or third dates. It was so easy.

This fucking girl, with her caramel-brown eyes, her golden-amber curls, her soft lips and that damn blush on her cheeks—she was driving him veritably insane with her unique mix of immaculate beauty and a friendly, almost naïve, strangely innocent disposition. And he wanted to go on a date with her. Without an ulterior motive, because at it stood right now, he didn’t care to even get her in bed. That would come later. He was absolutely determined to have this happen later. But…later.

Cassian

“Alrighty, I think I am going with the Bentley,” Cassian sidled to the bar, and interrupted.

If Azriel was annoyed, he didn’t show it.

Cassian spied them at last, making his way through the cavernous entrails of the garage, with all its gleaming cars, the beautiful patrons who were discussing options with no-less beautiful sales people,  and even on-premises tattoo shop, which specialized in Azriel’s sketches and catered to those who didn’t have money to actually outfit their Bugatti to their heart’s desire, but could at least claim that they got a Bagarat tattoo inked on their skin.

Elain and Azriel were standing side by side, somehow melding together nicely, her pretty dress and high-heeled sandals and piles of loose hair in drastic contrast with Azriel’s all-black ensemble, his massive height and the span of his shoulders. But she did not balk from him. Cassian also noticed that she didn’t react to the scars, which Azriel was very self-conscious about, and seemed genuinely interested in the garage.

It was inevitable that the two would eventually meet, especially with the wedding coming up and all the wedding related brouhaha. However, Cassian wanted to have the dibs on gloating down the line, and reminding the two of them, forever, about how it was he who introduced them. Yes, Azriel fucked a lot of models and rich girls, for whom he, strangely, was a riff on a ‘bit of rough’, while being hardly ‘rough’ at all. Azriel was elegant and possessed excellent taste in everything, and he probably had the best manners out of the lot of them. But the tattoos, the cars, the aura of brooding mystery about him, and his generally quiet ways were like honey to the throngs of women who lusted after him.  

About Azriel, Cassian had no doubts.

Cassian knew Azriel probably better than anyone alive, and even that wasn’t saying much, but he was very aware of Azriel’s ‘secret type’ of woman. Basically, it was Elain. Everything about Elain Azriel would like—of that Cassian was certain. Elain was the elusive ‘ideal woman’ of whom Azriel dreamt, but never actually pursued. Slightly unconventional, soft, kind, generous—lovely, would be a good word—Elain was everything that Azriel never had with any other women.

Cassian could already see the hunger and flicker of completely besotted adoration in Azriel’s normally cold eyes.

He was less certain about Elain, having never seen her with a boyfriend. When he had asked Nesta about Elain’s situation, Nesta shrugged and said that Elain was beautiful, but naïve, dreamy and rarely dated.

“A Bentley it is then,” Azriel turned around, though his elbow still touched Elain’s arm. “You’ll fit, big boy?”

Elain giggled.

“I am not Rowan,” Cassian muttered. “I am human sized.”

“Only just.”

“You are the same height,” Cassian reminded him coolly.

“I am a little more human-shaped too.”

Cassian rolled his eyes and said, “Come on, petal. While I love to stand here and listen to his insults, we gotta go.”

Elain’s face dropped into a sad frown only for a second, but she recovered immediately. Cassian noticed it, nevertheless. His petal of a girl didn’t want to leave his brother’s side.

“Bye Azriel,” she said, taking his hand in hers again, of her own volition, and squeezing it lightly. “It was very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he said. His fingers wrapped over her palm, and he said, “I’ll walk you two out.”

So, his brooding brother didn’t want to release the newfound petal of a girl.

How interesting.

Once they were in Cassian’s Jeep, Elain looked out the window, a dreamy look on her face.

“Oh-oh,” Cassian chuckled, as he navigated the narrow NYC streets.

“What?”

“I know that look,” he winked.

“What look?” she frowned.

“The ‘oh gods, Azriel is so handsome!’ look. Oh, he is so gorgeous look. Oh, he is so sexy look.”

“He is handsome,” she agreed blandly, knowing that arguing would be silly.

“I hope that you gave him your number,” he said. “Because if you didn’t, I will.”

“It’s none of your business,” she crossed her arms on her chest, and Cass howled loudly.

“You are welcome, by the way,”

“You are ridiculous,” she muttered. “I don’t know how Nesta tolerates you!”

“Oh, Nes tolerates me and then some,” and winked again.

Now

“My love, slow down a bit,” Elain requested, as the road zigzagged among rows of cypresses.

“I thought that you wanted to make it to Florence before traffic hit?” Azriel squeezed her fingers and brought her hand to his lips.

“Seeing that we are already running late, we might as well enjoy the drive,” she shrugged.

A honey-coloured strand of her hair fell out from under the gauzy wrap that she wore around her head a-la Grace Kelley.

“Good.”

“Good what?” she turned her face to him and knocked him out all over again. By the Mother she was superb in every way, and she was his. He couldn’t believe his absurd luck. Things like these didn’t happen to him. Elain was not meant to be his. Yet, here she was, his lovely gentle girl, who loved him with incomprehensible passion and devotion. His.

The hefty, borderline outlandish ring on her finger was proof of that.

He’d worked hard on that ring, designing it himself, wanting to incorporate everything that he loved about her and about the two of them into the design. The result was this stunner that glittered madly in the Italian sun, sitting on her manicured finger, the skin of her arm kissed by a golden tan.

His beautiful girl loved flowers, and she loved him, so her ring, in its platinum setting was a remarkable rose, reflecting Elain’s green thumb and life’s work. He selected the diamond himself, and the amethysts that comprised the petals, even the tiny onyx inserts, to signify him and the black ink of his tattoos. The ring was both extravagant—especially in carats—but intimate as well, a flower that spoke of his eternal love for this woman.

“I am going to take you somewhere, which I think you’d like,” he teased.

“Where?”

“How does lots of flowers sound?”

She smiled. 

Azriel

For gods’ sake, he was nervous. Azriel was not prone to nervousness or panic or discomfort, but this date, or whatever it was, filled him with dread.

He shouldn’t have asked her.

He was stupid and blinded by her beauty, by her deliciously voluptuous body, by the long, slender legs, by her shy, sweet smile. Those blushes. For the love of everything, those fine, adorable, sexy blushes.

She was part of the family network—both of his brothers were now in love with her sisters. It was cliché and unrealistic and unbelievable that she and he would end up in the same boat. Besides, he wasn’t so lucky as to have someone like her accept him. So, he was making a huge fucking mistake. If this was all going to go sour—which inevitably it would, of that he had no doubt—he’d mess up the delicate balance that existed between the Darling, Bagarat and Cavalhe brothers and the Archeron sisters. She’d reject him and then it would be awkward. Awkward for the upcoming wedding, in which he and Elain were supposed to couple up and be together in the wedding party. Rhys said, ‘fuck it’ and asked both him and Cassian to be best men, while Feyre had both of her sisters as maids-on-honour. There was no escaping it. Therefore, it would be awkward for the wedding, and then for Christmas and all the summer BBQs and pool parties and…well, he might just have to find excuses to never attend anything, ever.

But here he was, standing in front of an old-fashioned, cute corner storefront in the Village. Flower displays spilled on the sidewalk, and the windows, along with the marble edifice reminded him of Paris. This was exactly how he’d picture Elain’ store—slightly whimsical, elegant, classic, but modern. Au Nom de la Rose – The Name of the Rose—perfectly appropriate for Elain’s store name.

She wasn’t waiting for him outside, and he circled the block three times before, by some miracle, finding a parking space and leaving the silver Ferrari, and then made his way back to the store, arriving 4 minutes late, which was completely unacceptable. The store was technically closed at this hour, but he knocked and heard Elain’s voice telling him to come in. Some internal pressure inside of him released at the sound of her voice.

He entered and whistled,

“That’s a lot of flowers!”

Yep, definitely a glamourized 50’s Paris vibe.

“Azriel, I am so sorry, I am not ready,” Elain came from behind the counter, looking a bit frazzled.

“It’s alright I will wait,” he assured her, but she shook her head and said,

“No…I just received a huge order. An emergency order for an anniversary party. Azriel, it’s my biggest order ever!”

“That’s excellent!” he found himself feeling genuinely happy for her, if not for her concerned expression. “What’s up?”

“I…I,” she stumbled. “Feyre or Nesta would usually come and help out if I need them, but Feyre is in LA, and Nesta…” she swallowed, “Nesta is indisposed.”

Nes is on her period and is feeling like crap, read Cassian’s text from earlier today. I am going fishing. Care to join? Or are you busy romancing a certain Archeron sister?

Nesta was indisposed indeed, though Azriel didn’t feel like he needed to know the details.

“It’s a 25th Anniversary, and I have to make 25 bouquets and 15 centerpieces. The couple’s original florist fell through and they contacted me, in a panic, and I agreed,” she babbled, tugging on her long braid nervously. “And it’s for tomorrow,”

“Alright then,” he shrugged, “what’s the problem then? I am here.”

She looked up at him, her gaze both hopeful and confused.

“You? What are you going to do? I am sorry, Azriel, I am so sorry, we’d have to postpone,”

“We’d have to postpone our drive, but I am here. Use me.”

“Use you?”

“Use my body,” he chuckled, and she giggled an amused laugh.

“I appreciate the offer,” and when he thought that she’d continue rejecting his offer of help, she did the right thing and was a smart girl, nodding at last, and said, “will you truly help?”

“I am not a flower expert,”

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” she grinned.

He removed his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and said, “Teach me, Archeron. I am an apt pupil.”

He was. Elain showed him model bouquets and thankfully, he wasn’t dumb or clumsy enough to screw them up, once he began copying the originals.

Night fell, and they ordered pizza and he went to get a bottle of wine from the store across the street.

Sitting on the floor of the store, surrounded by piles of flowers, vases, ribbons and twine, they ate pizza, laughing throughout the evening. She stretched her long, bare legs in front of her, crossing them at the ankles, and he couldn’t get enough—the pretty toes, the pale golden skin and the sexy pink nail polish. He didn’t want to seem like a creep, but he snuck more than a few glances at her feet when she wasn’t looking.

It was well past midnight when they were finally done.

He stretched on the floor and tucked his arm behind his head.

She kneeled above him, at his side, and said, “Azriel, thank you. I can’t, honestly, thank you enough. You saved me. Maybe my business too!”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he retorted gently, “but this was fun…and educational.”

“How can I repay you?” she asked.

“Well, well,” he drummed his fingers on the floor, pretending to think. “So many possibilities,”

At that, she flushed, and he licked his lips, loving the sight of that pink on her cheeks.

“Let’s make a bargain,” he proposed at last.

“A bargain?” her brow furrowed.

He nodded.

“For my exceptional assistance during your time of trouble and despair, you will agree to an outing with me, of my choosing. To do whatever I want.”

Elain stared at him, biting her plump lower lip.

“Are we going to do something bad?” she finally asked uncertainly.

He grinned and without thinking, cupped her cheek.

She didn’t recoil.

He drew his thumb over her soft skin and she leaned into his palm just a little bit. Gods it felt good. So good. So good to have her so near, so receptive, so unafraid. But he dropped his hand.

“You think I will take you to knock off a couple of 7-11s?”

“Well, if I am entering this death bargain with you, then who the hell knows?” she shrugged.

He laughed, “Death bargain? A little dramatic, are we?”

She was still sitting there, biting her lip, and all he wanted to do was drag his tongue over it. Kiss her large, brown eyes. Fist his hand around the thick mass of her hair, tilt her head and kiss her until she was breathless.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He never acted like this!

He never thought like this.

He was a rational, controlled, some said, cold man.

Not to say that he wasn’t able to find a woman immediately attractive, or want to fuck her, but this was different. This was unknown.

“Fine,” she shrugged.

“Fine?” he repeated, smiling.

“Don’t make me do anything bad,” she warned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” he promised. “I wouldn’t lead you astray. But,” he sat up, draping his forearms over his knees, “where do you live? Let me take you home,”

“I can take an Uber,”

He gave her an incredulous look and she nodded without further arguments.

“Where do you live?” he asked, once they were outside, somehow internally thrilled that perhaps, she’d invite him inside. He wouldn’t expect anything, obviously, but it would be nice see where she lived, what her private space looked like. So far, he couldn’t pinpoint her style with any accuracy, an interesting mixture of vintage and modern, of flowers and thorns.

“Just two blocks down,” she said, as she locked up the shop.

He gave her his arm, and it seemed like she almost expected it, because she immediately thrust her hand into the loop and he smiled softly.

The little white shorts and the flowery top did things to him, and he was glad to walk side by side, so to prevent himself from staring at her long legs and her neat, lush ass. He was already a mess over her legs, over her bending and squatting in front of him for the past four-five hours.

It was dark and quiet on the street, and they walked in a comfortable silence, each thinking of something of their own.

And then,

Elain sprawled face down on the pavement.

She cried out, landing on her knees on the asphalt, just barely having the time to brace herself on her hand, and ripping the skin of her palm.

Azriel was instantly on his knees in front of her.

Tears glistened in her eyes. Possibly from pain, because as she flipped on her butt, they saw that her knees were torn and bleeding, as was her palm, or maybe from shock, as well as embarrassment.

“Shhh,” he cooed gently to her, “are you okay?”

She shook her head. A lonely tear spilled from her eyes.

“Tissues?” he asked quickly, surveying the damage. Bruises were already blossoming on her scuffed kneecaps, all around the wounds.

She wordlessly handed him her bag, allowing him to rummage through it and he found a packet of old tissues, which he gingerly pressed to her bleeding knees.

“My ankle hurts,” she muttered, reaching down to inspect it.

“Let me,” he took her legs and looked over her ankle. She glared questioningly at him, still in some sort of stupor, not understanding what had occurred, and why she was now sitting on the ground, bleeding.

“You broke your heel,” he nodded to her foot and she glanced down, finally realizing that her heel caught in a crack in the pavement. The impact was so strong, it actually fully detached from the sole of the shoe.

“I am sorry,” she mumbled.

“You should be,” he chuckled, “you gave me quite a scare. I thought you were shot; you went down so quickly!”

She pushed at his arm, half laughing, and have crying.

“Stop making me laugh!” she ordered, sniffling and giggling. “Auuu, it hurts...”

He was lightly pressing on her ankle, and then said, “it’s just twisted. You’ll need ice, but it should be okay…”

“Ok, Doctor Azriel,” she even rolled her eyes slightly and he laughed, flicking her nose.

“I am trained on how to treat combat wounds and catastrophic field injuries, I’ll have you know,” he said and then gave her his hand. “On your feet, soldier! Let me see if you can stand.”

Moaning and groaning, she managed to stand up, but putting any weight on her foot caused a yelp to escape her lips.

“Alright, come on now,” he stepped and opened his arms, “jump in.”

“Jump in where?”

“Jump into my arms, of course.”

“What are you planning to do? Swing me around?”

“I could swing you around, but I was planning on carrying you home, and then making you an ice pack and disinfecting all your cuts.”

Without waiting for her to decide, he scooped her off the ground and she gasped, and he wasn’t sure what the little huff meant.

“But it’s like two blocks!” she protested feebly, and unconvincingly, “I am heavy.”

“Ooohhh,” he groaned dramatically, hefting her to his chest, as they started off. “Sooo, so heavy!”

“I am the fattest of my sisters,” she argued, and even in the darkness he saw that she was blushing realizing how silly her comment was.

“Well, considering that Nesta is like 90 lbs. and Feyre 110 lbs., that’s not saying much,” he assured her.

She was soft and warm in his arms, and when, without prompting, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, he felt utterly at peace. Because the pieces of them fit. She fit him.

Blood still dripping, and her arms thrown over his neck, Azriel walked steadily, cradling her to his chest, until they finally reached a pre-War building, and she said, “There is no elevator.”

“Don’t tell me you are on the 6th floor!” he laughed, looking up.

“The third.”

“Guess I will have to haul the fattest of the Archeron sisters to the 3rd floor!” he sighed, and she smacked his arm, protesting,

“You can’t say that!”

He was laughing and she began to laugh as well.

“You said it first,” he reminded her.

 Her apartment was small, but she’d arranged the furniture in such a way that everything seemed more spacious, and orderly, without unnecessary frills. Mostly grays, turquoise, cobalt and creamy-white. For some reason, he thought that there would be much more pink and general fluff. This though, this he liked.

He sat her down on the sofa and went to the bathroom to find bandages and plasters and other items. She called out from her spot, telling him where to find things and he finally emerged and began working on all her wounds.

“Haven’t lost a soldier yet,” he told her with a chuckle. He kneeled in front of her, and his touch was firm, but surprisingly gentle, as he thoroughly washed every scuff and tear, and then disinfected and decided what needed bandages and what didn’t.

Elain remained mostly silent throughout the procedure, watching him from under her lashes.

“You are nice,” she said suddenly.

He looked at her and smirked.

“Not with anyone.”

“Everyone just says how handsome you are,” she lay her head on the back cushion, watching him. He gave her a painkiller, and it was making her drowsy. It was also late. She rarely stayed up this late. “But you are also very nice,” she added.

Elain

She woke up that morning, and was struck by the unfamiliar environment. And pain.

Her knees ached and screamed and hurt, as did her palm.

Light poured through the windows; the curtains still open.

She found herself on her sofa, haphazardly covered by a throw, and with her legs resting on Azriel’s lap.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He was here. With her.

He never left after last night’s debacle.

She was a clumsy cow, as always, but the incident was unusually embarrassing, even for her. She always spilled or dropped stuff on herself, tripped, stumbled, and fell on her ass at inopportune times, but last night…By the Mother!

The man was gosh darn saint. Not only did she screw up their evening plans, made him work and make bouquets with her, which, probably wasn’t the most exciting thing for him to spend the evening on, but she also almost ate the pavement, and then he carried her for half a mile! And cared for her when they came here. And spent, what must have been a horribly uncomfortable night in a half-seated position, with her, no doubt, pushing at him with her feet.

Yep, she was never going to see him again.

Good going, Elain. Fine job you did of this ‘relationship’. Now, for the rest of her life, she’d be forced to see him at family gatherings, probably with some stunning model of a wife, and he’d always remember her as the girl who tore her heel on the pavement.

She wanted to cry.

Not that she ever, even for a second, believed that this would go anywhere. Her and Azriel. That wasn’t possible. Things like these didn’t happen to her. She was strange and solitary and even if others claimed that she was pretty, going so far as to call her ‘beautiful’, she never felt like that. When Nesta got mad at her, she’d call her a ‘petty idiot’ and Elain felt like that more frequently than she cared to admit. And Azriel…he was cut from a different cloth. He was…

She looked at his face, still perfect, but ever so slightly relaxed and softened in sleep, his eyelids heavy and enviably long, thick lashes fanned over his golden-brown cheeks. He was funny, with a quick, dry sense of humour, intelligent and interesting, and when they talked last night, she couldn’t get enough! He told her fascinating stories from his time in the Navy, about his dream, which resulted in the creation of his beloved garage. It took him three years to open the place—conceptualize what he wanted, how to deliver it, the items to showcase. The result was not just the ‘garage’, but also the popular bar, and recently, a restaurant as well.

Scarred fingers touched her hand and he opened his eyes.

“Good morning,” he whispered, squinting at her. “How are you? How’s the pain?”

“Azriel,” she murmured, not even knowing how to thank him, but she attempted, “I want to,”

“Pancakes?” he asked eagerly.

She glanced at him with incomprehension.

“May I make you, or us, pancakes?” he proposed. “I’ve been sort of thinking about this all night. How I’d like to make you pancakes,”

“I want to thank,”

He lifted his finger and shook his head,

“No, no. My Italian mother would tell you that you should never thank anyone for providing medical help,”

“Why?”

“According to my psychotically superstitious Italian side of the family, the remedy or healing won’t take, if you offer thanks. Imagine, I was forbidden from ever saying ‘thank you’ to a doctor,”

She chuckled.

“So, you are Italian?”

“Mom’s side is half Neapolitan and half from Lazio—near Rome.”

He sat up and rolled his neck.

“Can I at least say that I am sorry that you had to be so uncomfortable and sleep on the couch?” she asked.

“It’s alright. Not the best night I’ve ever had, but not the worst one either. The company was nice too,” and he patted her legs.

A tiny flare of hope lit in her belly.

But she didn’t allow herself to have it take root.

Maybe not until he gathered her legs together on his lap and drew his fingers up and down her calf.

“But really, how is the pain?” he asked at last, watching her with his intense, warm eyes. The eyes didn’t warm frequently, it seemed, but when they looked at her—

He was different somehow.

Kind. Approachable.

“It’s fine,” she waved her hand, not wanting to burden him any longer with her dumb injuries.

Those long, scarred fingers glided over her skin, and a small smirk touched his lips, “May I kiss it better?”

She blinked at him.

“I hear that I am very good at making pain go away,” he added proudly, and then, his lips descended on her scuffed and bruised knees. She kissed each one, tenderly, and then took her hand and brought it to his lips, and pressed his mouth to the inside of her palm. Her breath hitched and she stared at him, wide-eyed, as he watched her, unblinking, gaging every minute reaction. He kissed her hand, inside and then out, and then kissed the other, even though it wasn’t injured, and then returned to her knees and kissed them again.

At last, “Better?” he asked.

She only mooed incoherently.

…Azriel, by the stove, flipping pancakes was the sexiest thing Elain had ever seen in her life.

Clad in dark slacks, in his white shirt from last night, with sleeves rolled up and the tattoo sleeves on full display, he stood in her kitchen, barefoot and flipped pancakes like a pro.

“You cook too?” she asked incredulously.

He laughed.

“Too? In addition to what?”

“I don’t know,” she was still perched on the sofa, like an invalid, but after she washed her face and brushed her hair, he ordered her to sit and not make unnecessary moves. “Everything?”

“My repertoire is limited, when it comes to the kitchen, but what I know how to make, I make well. Cassian is a better cook.”

“Cass?” she smiled.

“Nesta is lucky to have him,” Azriel added, somewhat wistfully.

Elain looked at him and nodded. “I think so too.”

“He is a good man. Maybe the best man I’ve ever known. Where my own family failed, he stepped in, though he is a year younger than me. But he taught me…how to be. Accepted me. Unconditionally. Taught me how to swim, how to ride a bike, how to fight.”

“And you?”

“I? I helped him with his reading,” Azriel rubbed his chin, his stance a little tense.

She didn’t say anything, waiting to see if he felt like sharing more.

“It was neglected,” he said at last. “His reading and writing. So, we sat together, late at night, at our foster parents’ house and read.”

He then asked, “coffee?”

The moment of reminiscing was over, and Elain did not press.

She nodded to one of the cupboards and he pulled out a tub of coffee and grimaced.

“This is what you drink?”

“Hey, it’s good coffee! I buy it at Trader Joe’s!” she laughed defensively.

“Baby, we are drinking Italian coffee in this house,” he decided, and there was no arguing with that logic.

 That’s how Elain became Azriel’s ‘baby’.

In their house, they always drank Italian coffee.

 Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Thanks Nu,” Azriel greeted a lanky, very thin, very tall girl, who handed him two packages and then winked at him and disappeared wordlessly.

“My assistant, Nuala,” he explained, showing Elain two packages of Lavazza coffee. “This will do for now.”

Elain hobbled to the small butcher block island that she’d restored from a console that she found at a flea market. “You text someone and they just appear?”

He grinned and shrugged innocently.

“I know a guy.”

“Of course you do. Are you in the mafia?”

“First of all, rude,” he placed a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of her and then poured her coffee, “second of all, I just know a guy.”

“Who knows where to buy Lavazza on a Saturday morning?” she wondered, tucking into the pancakes.

“I have a network of spies,” he winked at her.

She sipped on the coffee, perhaps not as good a cup as he’d made her at his garage, but glorious nevertheless. “Are you in the CIA?”

“Not in the mafia or the CIA. Just a lowly car guy.”

“Uh-uh.”

They toasted with their coffee cups and Azriel said, “not bad for a first date. Blood and flowers. Very romantic.”

It was that morning, that sunny Saturday morning, over a plate of pancakes and some Italian coffee that Elain Archeron fell in love.

She fell in love completely.

Utterly.

Irreversibly.

And forever.

Now

Azriel turned off to some side road and how he knew where to go, Elain had no idea, but she just enjoyed the scents and warmth of the day.

“You know,” she laughed. “We are literally under the Tuscan sun right now!”

“All your dreams are coming true,” he ran a loving hand over her bare arm and she tore her gaze from the scenery around her.

“My dreams came true when I met you,” she confessed. “That was the day.”

“So easily impressed!” he teased, but she saw that her words touched something in him. His face softened with happiness.

“Az, slow down,” she whispered, an almost painful pull to kiss him spreading over her. “I want to kiss you.”

He looked at her, eyes hidden behind his Aviator shades, but slowed down and she leaned towards him and planted her mouth on his cheek.

“Lips,” she murmured with audible desperation.

“Baby, I don’t want to bust up this nice Ferrari,” he laughed. “And you, who is riding in it.”

Pouting, she ordered, “Then pull over so I can kiss you!”

He laughed louder, throwing his head back, his gorgeous tanned neck annoyingly desirable.

She wanted to bite his vein, lick the salty skin of his neck, and then sink her teeth into his shoulder. Elain was a biter. And a scratcher. Good thing that Azriel was a benevolent lover, who didn’t care if she left his body marked with her love, and didn’t mind the pain. In fact, he encouraged it.

His heavy brown hand lay on her knee, under the hem of her summer dress and he said,

“Why don’t I do something nice for you… then you can kiss me…”

“But I want to kiss you now,” she frowned playfully.

His hand slid a little higher, up her bare thigh, and he pressed his scarred palm into her thin, tender skin, rubbing slowly, indulgently. This was just as much for her as it was for him.

She threw her head into the back of the seat, eyes closed.

Until she yelped softly, when his wicked hand slipped higher and higher, pushing her dress up as well.

“Azriel Bagarat,” she murmured, “what am I going to do with you? And your love for public nudity and lovemaking…”

He shrugged oh so innocently and said, “firstly, it’s Archeron to you, and,”

“Not just yet,” she wiggled her ring-clad hand in front of him, “not until we got the paper and all, to make us official,”

They rolled their eyes at the same time and then laughed.

“And secondly, who can blame me?” he leaned and kissed her shoulder. “You are very hot. And I sort of want to fuck you all the time.”

His long, very experienced fingers made their way even higher, until he drew them along the cotton of her underwear, lightly pressing into the cleft, teasing ever so lightly. She shifted against the fingertips, her thighs falling apart in silent encouragement.

Elain was a giving and a receptive lover, innately knowing what he wanted and accommodating both of their needs thoughtfully, and easily.

“What do you want, baby?” he murmured.

“To kiss you,” she insisted stubbornly.

He huffed his amusement, and then pushed his finger deeper, firmer against the cotton, whispering,

“How about this?”

“This is nice, I suppose,”

“Only nice?” he withdrew his finger in warning and she grabbed his wrist, and thrust it back in place.

“Maybe a little better than ‘nice’, huh?” he teased.

“A little,” she agreed, gasping when he cupped her fully, swiping his heel of his palm against the length of her folds, feeling the dampness against his skin. Bold, as he always was, he moved the strip of cotton to the side, and hiked up her dress ever higher, exposing her to his exploration.

He snuck a glance at her perfectly peachy, pink pussy, bare and succulent, like a ripe fruit dripping with its sweet juices.

He groaned and then hissed, “I am stopping, right now. I want you coming on my tongue in the next four minutes,”

“So confident, ombre?”

She took to calling him ombre or ‘shadow’, when, early in their relationship, he kept materializing in front of her out of nowhere, stepping out of the shadows. He laughed, but didn’t mind the endearment. What’s more, it became a private thing between the two of them—he’d call her ‘rose’ and she’d call him ‘ombre’. It wasn’t nauseatingly sugary sweet and could be used in public without making people gag. Unlike, for example, the Darlings, who, for whatever reason called each other ‘my darkness’. Or Cassian, who sometimes went with ‘schmoopie’, braving Nesta’s wrath.

Azriel laughed, while incessantly dragging his finger back and forth over the wet slit, without doing much else, and making her gasp and squirm.

“That I can make you come on my tongue in 4 minutes? Fuck yeah! Want me to prove it?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” she shook her head, “you don’t get to just do whatever the hell you want, when you want it. If I don’t get my kiss, you don’t get to,”

“What? Lick your pussy? I feel like the punishment is unreasonable,” he protested.

She gave him a sultry look, a look that only he was privy to, and then murmured, spreading her legs a little wider for him,

“Maybe I want to lick something of yours?” she proposed, her voice husky, pouring like honey over his ear.

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” he choked out, finally parting the soft cushions of her folds and dragging his knuckles over the wet spread of her. The intoxicating scent of her arousal, mixed with the Italian sunshine and the smell of grass, flowers and cypresses was so heady, he almost swerved, stopping only quick enough to grip the steering wheel tightly in his left hand.

Gods, if he was going to make it to their next destination, he would be impressed with himself. But it was close.

Azriel

Elain loved getting fingered. That was the first thing he learned about her sexually—kissing and fingering.

In the privacy of their world, he fingered her constantly.

It was almost an obligation on his part by now, to have her wake up, tucked into his side, while gently, but thoroughly pumping her soft, indescribably tight center. No matter how many times he’d been inside of her, she remained tight, as tight as the first time. That was a blessing, but a curse as well, for all he could typically think about throughout the day, was sinking into that glorious tightness.

When she was finally semi-awake, she rolled on her back and spread her legs in front of him, so he could finger her in earnest. Two fingers first, nice and deep inside of her, as he knelt in front of her and watched her come undone before him. And then, there was always a moment when her eyes flew open, and her back arched, and he slipped the third one in. The plush, warm walls of her sex stretched and pulled to accommodate him, but he went slow and deep, only grazing the sensitive spot in her, making her moan low and begging, the pressure of his hand steady and firm.

She cried and cried into the pillow, head thrown back in utter extasy, her hair a tangled halo about her. She wasn’t permitted to move her hips, his only order in that early-morning game of theirs, therefore she was wholly dependent on him for her pleasure. If she ever did begin a sensual undulation of her hips around his hand, he’d allow her to continue for a few moments, aware that she was lost in her own pleasure, before cruelly yanking his hand out of her.

“Was my girl allowed to do that?” he’d ask simply, and amidst her disappointed panting, her pleading for more, her sweet, innocent “sorry. I am sorry,” she’d beg him to fill her again.

Then she’d lay still, eyes wide and pleading, her little opening vibrating at the loss, before he placed her feet on his shoulders and thrust in her anew. This time, his scarred, rough, brown, inked fingers disappeared in her completely. She buckled and let out a wild moan that reverberated from the very depth of her, because all four fingers were inside, and his thumb finally, finally began a gorgeously slow torment around her clit. She just lay there, tense and unmoving, watching him, the slurping, obscene sounds of his hand inside of her filling the sleepy morning air around them.

Elain came quietly. She moaned and twisted and gasped as he rubbed her clit, but when the waves finally descended upon her, when he felt the tight, silky flesh grip and pump all four of his fingers, which were now pressing up into her perfect spot, the exhale was soft and intimate. Only for him.

Now

“Don’t wreck the car,” Elain muttered, eyes barely open.

“Will this be the second one?” Azriel asked, while Elain wrapped her hand around his wrist and forcefully jammed his hand inside of her.

Four.

Four orgasms daily. That was his promise.

He’d provide her with at least four daily orgasms. So far, he typically exceeded expectations. It wasn’t particularly difficult, because he often played with her at odd times—when they were watching TV, he’d slip a finger onto her clitty and rub her slowly and leisurely, until she melted from the stimulation. She enjoyed it when he bent her over counters or sinks, and sunk his fingers deep and hard into her perpetually ready hole.

Elain, to his complete delight and fascination, was always just a bit aroused. Always, always just a bit wet, just a little damp for him. He’d make an unscheduled stop at her shop and if it was empty, he’d step behind the counter with her, and soon, she’d be splayed over the counter, his hand between her legs. Yes, they’ve been almost caught plenty of times, but Azriel had the ability to disappear into shadows as soon as he sensed someone coming. Sometimes, when someone would walk in the store, Azriel even pretended that he was a customer, buying flowers, watching her patiently, while she got his bouquet ready for him. Never mind that his hand might have been soaked with her slick, or that he smirked, watching her press her thighs together, while she wrapped the flowers, as she avoided eye contact with him, and handed him the bouquet which he’d inevitably bring home for her.

When he was around her, she jokingly complained that she was of constant need for him, and it was his very enviable and pleasant task to soothe the ache inside of her.

 Azriel

Their friends, family, found their relationship perplexing. But Elain kept her sisters firmly at an arm’s length when it came to the discussion of their sex life. No matter how they tried to pry, she gently, but firmly rebuffed them. Nesta complained and said that they were too obsessed with each other. That Elain was too in love and that Azriel was too dependent on Elain’s love for this to be normal. Elain only shrugged and didn’t argue.

 “It’s not normal!” seethed Nesta, watching Elain and Azriel wrapped around each other on the dance floor, Elain’s body shimmying and swaying around her, arms raised in the air, her hips swooshing to the beat, bumping into his pelvis.

“You think they are gonna do it right on the dancefloor?” Cassian contemplated quietly, not sure if this was outside the realm of possibilities.

“He would!” she spat and gulped down her Aperol spritz aggressively. “I am surprised he is not bending her over…more surprised she isn’t agreeing!”

“They never argue,” Cassian nodded.

“They never—never—argue. It’s not normal!”

The way Cassian saw it, as long as the two were happy, he had no right to judge.

Nesta was a hot pepper. Feyre, an apple—solid, tasty, dependable. Elain—whipped cream—a delicious topping over anything, but especially Azriel.

 Nevertheless, the word got around.

One day, Azriel, Rowan and Cassian were sitting in Elain’s flower shop, toiling diligently over a huge order of flowers.

They wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not to each other, or their women, but they quite enjoyed hiding in that flower shop and arranging flowers. They claimed that they were doing it for Elain’s sake, to help her out, so she didn’t have to hire additional help just yet, but,

Well, they liked it.

At first, Elain wasn’t sure if Cassian was cut out for the task, because the very first try was a little rough.

“Cass, these are not your enemies that you are about to smite,” Elain instructed gently, prying his fingers from the stems of irises, which he was clutching like he was about to throw a lance.

“Pfff, you look like you are about to choke a chicken,” Nesta teased. And promptly realised her mistake, biting her lip.

Cassian cocked his brow and murmured seductively,

“What chicken am I choking, sweetheart? My own,”

“Oh no,” Elain stepped in between them, hands on her hips. “No. No. No. Absolutely not.”

“Lainey, don’t allow Cass to choke his chicken in front of us,” begged Azriel, working quickly and deftly, and soliciting an envious look from Cassian, whose flowers were in complete disarray, compared to Azriel’s neat piles and methodical assembly line.

“Yes, no one is choking chickens, penises or each other in here,” ordered Elain sternly, while Nesta and Azriel were laughing silently.

“Hehe,” smirked Cassian, “Elain said ‘penis’!”

“Take your dirty talk and deeds,”

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, dirty deeds done dirt cheap

Cassian began rocking to his own singing, imitating the gravel of Brian Johnson’s voice rather successfully, headbanging over his babybreath, bluebells and irises.

Chicken choking forgotten for a moment.

 As Cassian fussed over a vase, working on each stem and arranging them just so, wearing a little white apron no less, he asked casually, “So, brother, four?”

Azriel was in his own headspace, and he didn’t even hear Cassian, as he was busy with his own flower arrangement.

There was, expectedly, a competition going on—who’d complete the most arrangements in an hour. Rowan, a veritable giant, and Cassian’s best friend, also wore an apron, but a long one, like a butcher, and was significantly ahead of the pack. That bothered Azriel more than he cared to admit. So, he was re-strategizing his strategy.

“Four what?” Rowan inquired, not taking his eyes off the flowers, working like a machine.

“Ask Az here,” Cassian suggested. He was catching up to Azriel with an alarming speed.

Azriel had never lost, so far. He wasn’t going to lose today.

“Stop speaking in riddles. What are you talking about?”

“Word on the street is that our Az here provides the flower girl with a minimum of four orgasms on the daily,”

Azriel started and finally tore his eyes from the flowers.

Both Rowan and Cassian were watching him, smirking.

“I guess it’s true then,”

“Fuck off.”

“If that’s true,” Rowan drawled, “good for you, man. Though you are putting us to shame with this ridiculous offer of yours. How do you keep up?”

“Easily,” Azriel shrugged. “But it’s freaking me out that you two are talking about my sex life so casually.”

“But fucking four? Daily?” repeated Cassian, shaking his head.

“Yeah, Elain, man,” Rowan rubbed the back of his head, mussing his silver hair, “who would’ve thought?”

Cassian nodded, “No offense, brother, but Elain doesn’t strike anyone as particularly adventurous in the bedroom,”

“And that’s where you’d be wrong,” Azriel said simply.

“Very beautiful,” offered Rowan pacifically, “but…you know…Kind of like Elide, I guess. You wouldn’t know it, looking at her,”

Cassian was nodding. “Yeah, she looks like she eats macaroons and reads Jane Austen,”

“Macarons,” said Azriel.

“What?”

“It’s macaron. Not macaroon.”

“What the hell is the difference?”

“One is a French biscuit, made with almond flour and filled with a creamy filling. The other, is a coconut concoction that one usually eats at Passover.”

Rowan was chuckling. Cassian was shaking his head, grunting, “you would know. So, does she? Eat maca--,”

“No, she doesn’t even like macarons. And she doesn’t read Jane Austen. She reads espionage novels. She likes Daniel Silva. Any more stupid questions?”

Elide. Of course. He should’ve guessed.

Elain and Elide met through Rowan and it was friendship at first sight.

Azriel couldn’t argue—the two women were similar in many ways. Both were on a quiet side, polite, well-mannered. Elain—a ray of sunshine, tall, slender and curvaceous, smiling and affable, with piles of golden-brown locks and warm brown eyes. Elide—the opposite—small, pale, with perfectly straight, silky black hair and dark, midnight eyes. Both—crafty in the ways of the world, charming, when needed, capable of getting into everyone’s good graces, and therefore, getting what they wanted.

“No, no more stupid questions,” said Cassian. “Just don’t know how you two grumps attracted such lively girls,”

“Lorcan and I aren’t ‘grumps’. We just talk when we need to and don’t have the need for instant gratification or to be the center of attention. Something I can’t say about you,”

“It’s not about me,” Cassian protested, but Azriel stopped him, by raising his finger,

 “Now, if you are not going to shut the fuck up about my woman and me, I will spread a rumour amongst your women, that it’s not four, but six. Daily. Let’s see how you measure up then.”

Silence fell.

Azriel won.

His 36th win.

 Now

 “Yes, the second,” Elain nodded with a satisfied smile.

 Azriel

 Naturally, today, he woke her up properly, as he always did.

They stayed in an adorable little villa, near Montepulciano. It was everything a Tuscan villa was supposed to be…

including the dust that settled in its 800-year-old walls. And Elain coughed and coughed and coughed, surprisingly not coughing up a lung.

“We can’t stay here,” Azriel said, frowning.

“Where are going to go? We are in the middle of Tuscany and it’s 10 pm,” she reminded him.

Ever resourceful, he dragged the mattress off the antique bed and plopped it down on the floor of their small balcony.

“We sleep here. Under the night Tuscan sky.”

It was a lovely, if chilly night, and Elain would’ve enjoyed it if she didn’t fall asleep almost immediately and slept through the night.

She was still asleep, when the birds began their morning song and Azriel positioned her on her hands and knees, and carefully removed her nightgown, baring her to the dry, cool morning air.

“Someone will see us,” she murmured sleepily.

She tucked her hands under her cheek, and followed the direction of Azriel’s hand on her hip, rising her butt high up, and arching her back for him.

Azriel loved having sex out in the open. Especially if she was completely naked. He wasn’t overt about it, but the thrill of being found out, the titillating desire to be watched was always present. She knew it. She indulged his fantasies.

“I don’t think anyone would mind watching you,” he whispered hotly in her ear and lightly bit the apple of her cheek. “But it’s also like 4:15 in the morning. So maybe they are still sleeping.”

He settled behind her and she felt his hands on her back, smoothing over the sharp cut of her tight waist and then the soft curve of her hips.

“Spread your legs for me, my love, I want to play with you a little bit,” he guided her, and she followed his direction, squatting inelegantly on her knees, thighs wide apart for him. He cupped her fully in his palm and then pinched her clit, hard, twisting it and rubbing it between his two fingers, until she bit her forearm, trying to stifle her cries of instant pleasure.  He pinched again, then again, rubbing tightly, while he bit her buttock playfully, but hard enough to leave a pink mark.

“Mmmm,” she groaned, when he nibbled on her flesh again, tugging on the swollen clit with relentless dedication. She managed to twist enough to kiss his knee and whispered, eyes still closed, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, my beautiful girl,” he leaned forward and kissed her wet, stretched opening, dragging his tongue around and around the rim, “and you are so nice and wet for me in the morning. My good girl, what do you want?”

“Only you,” she vowed. “Only you, my Az.”

“Let’s fill your pretty little hole then,” he licked on it again, and then slid one strong, long finger inside. As he began to pump her slowly, he proposed, “When I fill you with my cock later on,”

“Uh oh,” she moaned dreamily, smiling a loving smile, enjoying his finger to the fullest.

“I think I’d like to add a finger or two as well. What do you think?”

“I’d like that, I think,” she complied easily.

Elain was not a particularly imaginative lover, but Azriel was the opposite—he had too much imagination when it came to everything. Especially Elain, and what he liked to do with her sexually. What was absolutely fantastic, and he thanked all the gods for this phenomenon, was that Elain was willing to try anything. She was an absolutely willing and eager lover, who learned from him and learned of her body with readiness and joy. He dominated her completely, but that was the nature of their relationship, and they easily fell into their roles, from the very beginning. She was submissive, loved praise, and loved being guided and told what to do. More than anything else, she loved pleasing him. There was never any pull and push, no competition, no power struggles. Elain was made for him, created and carved from something that was innately his, whether it was his body or his mind, and they lived and loved harmoniously. He complimented her perfectly: her temperament, her needs, her wants. He treated her with admiration, gentleness, adoration and respect, and while his own expectations were high, she met them all with ease. She took control when she needed to. Received what she wanted from him, however she needed to. And he gave and gave.

Some, or many, called them soulmates.

Perhaps that’s what they were. Or maybe, they were even more than that.

Azriel stretched his legs on either side of her curved body and then added another finger inside of her sopping, slippery opening, reaching deep into her and pumping her firmly.

“Auuuu, babe, it’s good…” she squealed, “it’s so good.”

Unable to wait any longer, he pulled her buttocks apart with his available hand and swept his tongue over the tiny opening, causing her to seize with surprise and pleasure. Instinctively, she moved her hips against his tongue, pushing her backside into his lips. He licked the little hole in earnest, dragging his tongue back and forth between both of her openings, making her tremble and shudder every time his tongue reached one or the other.

As he sat to the task of licking and sucking her tight hole, he thrust a third finger into her dripping passage, feeling her shift against his face to accommodate the stretch. It was a lot, and she whimpered and moaned from the pressure, but he knew that she could take four, though he wasn’t in a hurry, and worked her diligently and steadily, his tongue laving the other hole just as eagerly.

She was shaking between his legs, her toes curling beneath her, rapid pants escaping into the morning mists, her hair draping the tiled floor in front of her, even spilling through the balcony rails.

Somewhere they heard sheep bleating and Elain laughed softly, before arching her back even further, not caring how splayed she looked. There wasn’t a part of her that he hasn’t seen, hasn’t touched or licked or kissed, not an inch of her that wasn’t caressed by his rough hands, not an orifice that he hasn’t penetrated with his magnificent cock. He’d burrowed inside of her so deeply, so wholly, he possessed all of her and she knew what it’s like to truly be part of another person, to be loved with egregious passion.

He fed another finger inside of her and she cried out, trembling and grunting, as she grabbed and squeezed his foot with mighty strength.

He tore his lips away from her bottom and grinned,

“Love, when you are in labour with our baby, I am fully prepared for the fact that you will break my fingers, maybe even my hand.”

“I am sorry,” she laughed, and kissed his foot, dragging her tongue over his toes.

There wasn’t a part of him that she did not love, did not worship with everything she had. No part of his body remained un-kissed, un-touched, un-caressed. A lazy Sunday, especially if the weather was crap and they had no plans to go out, was her favourite time—she could spend the day loving her Azriel. On those days, she pleasured him. And if she spent hours with his cock buried in her throat, or his balls between her lips, or her tongue in his ass, she was only too happy.

The tips of his fingers crawled into that hidden spot inside of her, curling just so, so he could massage and rub her into a frenzy. He stilled for a moment, to allow her to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, as she bit his foot, trying to stifle her screams. She leaked slowly over his hand, as most of it was situated in her clutching, hungry tightness.

“Very good, my baby,” he praised, kissing her buttocks and then giving her anus a few approving licks, “taking all four inside of you,”

“Oh my god, oh,” she groaned, “it’s so tight…Az, my love, I am so full,”

“I know, love,” he coaxed evenly, his hand beginning a steady, firm barrage of deep, pounding thrusts, “but it’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeess,” she only managed, voice thin, pleading. She could barely hold herself up, so he wrapped his arm around her hips, keeping her ass up. She grabbed the balcony wrought-iron spindles, squeezing them tightly, forehead pressed into the mattress, as he pumped her harshly, keeping her on the verge of constant climax, but pulling back just so, for her to moan and beg him in a never ending litany.

“Baby, you want to come?” he teased, still busy with her butthole, which softened under his furious sucking and if they had more time and privacy, Elain would be ready to take him anally soon enough.

“Yes,” she grunted, “yes,”

“Ask nicely, and maybe,”

“Ugh, you are such a horrible tease,” she complained, biting his foot in spite, and he laughed, before slapping her firm, soft buttock.

“Biting a person who is making you come so nicely?” he slapped her again, and she yelped with pleasure, wiggling her ass, silently asking for more.

The walls of her passage clenched desperately over his fingers, and she made a choking, frantic sound in her chest, now beyond pleading or even moaning. He sucked, and slapped, and bit, and thrust, pumping her open, the sounds of the wet and the skin inside of her completely obscene, and music to both of their ears.

Azriel noticed a man, either a delivery guy or a grounds keeper, watching them wide eyed and shocked from a distance. Probably not something he expected to see at 4:40 in the morning. Not that he made a move to leave.

Azriel opted not to alarm Elain, who was coming violently on his hand, her body trembling and jerking, her beautiful, quiet orgasm sweeping everything in its path. His girl deserved a proper wake up, deserved and needed her climaxes, and deserved to be watched, because she was so beautiful. Her teeth and tongue clamped tightly on his foot, his toes, as she bit and licked, completely undone, turned inside out by his expert hand.

He still worked her hand in her, his thrusts shallow and not as strong, when she collapsed on the mattress at last, eyes closed, panting.

He smiled and finally slipped on the mattress alongside her, though he kept a finger between her folds, rubbing soothingly. She’d bite his head off if he removed his hand from her this quickly.

“Good morning my love,” he whispered at last, kissing her cheek.

“Mmmm, good morning,” she sighed with satiated pleasure.

“Some guy caught an eyeful,” he whispered, but she only snuggled to his chest.

“I don’t care…As long as you were watching me, that’s all that matters.”

“I wouldn’t mind sliding into your little bum right now,” he confessed, stroking her hip and her curvy backside.

“Do you want to take me?” she offered sweetly, eyes fluttering open.

He kissed her head and smiled, “So tempting, but not here and not now. Let’s jump in the shower and then be on our way. We’ve got a decent amount of driving to do today.”

She nodded.

“Did I tell you that I love you?” she stroked his cheek, the sharp, angular cut of it, the dark bronze skin.

“You did, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”

“I love you, Azriel.”

“I love you, Elain.”

 Elain

Their day was long.

They had their cappuccino and cornetti at some café on the road.

Their trip had a purpose—they were actually driving to Maranello, to the Ferrari headquarters where Azriel had 3 days of business meetings.

When Az told her that he was thinking of going to Italy, it was no brainer to say ‘yes’.

It was the first time she was going to leave her business, her shop, for an extended period of time, but Feyre promised to oversee the operations, while Cerridwen, whom Elain recently hired as a full-time employee and who was Nuala’s sister, was going to be responsible for the day-to-day.

The last time Elain’s been to Italy was when she was barely 10 years old. A few years before everything’s went to shit. Back then, her father completed a very lucrative business deal and there was a lot of disposable cash, so the family decided to take a grand trip to Italy.

Little Feyre who was only seven screeched and begged to go to Disneyland, while Nesta and their mother voted for Italy. No one asked Elain, assuming that she’d go wherever she was told.

The trip was extensive, almost four weeks, and they hit all the glamorous Southern parts—the Amalfi coast, with their headquarters in a rented villa near Positano. Then they went to Portofino, and their father rented a yacht for a few days, the trip culminating in Capri. It was a whirlwind on sun and the sea, of lemons, eating grilled squid, at which Feyre stared in horror, though she liked the taste, amazing fruit, endless pastries and gelato. Even their mother yanking a few pastries away from Elain, hissing that she ‘grow fat and not find a husband’ didn’t mar the experience. Elain, always the plumper of the sisters, was used to the warning by then.

 This time around, Elain could eat as much pastry as she wanted.

They landed in Rome, spent four days there, since she insisted on going to the Vatican Museum twice, hear Mass at St. Peter’s, and she didn’t know if she annoyed Azriel with her endless excitement and tales of art, artists, and biblical stories, but she couldn’t help herself.

She was an Art History major in NYU, receiving a full scholarship to attend. She loved it. Didn’t like college all that much as a whole, but loves studying. When everyone was partying, drinking, fucking and skipping classes, she went to the Met and to MOMA and learned and enjoyed herself. She loved history of religion, of other cultures and though not at all religious herself, none of them were, her knowledge on the subject was thorough.

Azriel, it seemed, liked her passion, her excitement, and listened attentively when she went on long explanation of what this or that Saint did and what grizzly death they’d suffered. And what was the significance of the painting or sculpture of the said Saint. Obviously, he was very artistically inclined as well, though his preference lay in design and industrial art, but he enjoyed listening and discussing. They spent hours and hours meandering the halls of the museum, and of the cathedral, and both spent a good half an hour in front of the Pieta, staring in silence and quiet contemplation at the sculpture, holding hands.

It was when they were sitting at a café, sipping some bitter Campari cocktails and watched the sprawling vistas of Rome that Azriel confided to her. Told her of his childhood. She knew some of the details, but he never talked about his childhood, and she opted not to pressure him. It was clear enough that it was horrific in many ways, and bringing up all those memories didn’t make sense to Elain.

Told her how his father, who was rich and vicious, won custody of him from his mother, not because he wanted his son, but out of spite, to torment the mother. And then it was years of solitude and loneliness and emotional and physical abuse. Azriel’s only reprieve was drawing, making designs, sometimes with chalk on the pavement, sometimes on scraps of paper. His stepmother threw everything out as soon as he made it. He languished in his father’s world for 8 years, until a catastrophic event took place—his stepbrothers doused him, his hands, in gasoline and lit him up. They didn’t call the paramedics either, and simply stood there, watching, as he burned. Finally, the neighbors heard his screams and police and ambulance came at last.

Because he was young, he recovered most of the sensations and feeling in his hands, but the skin was permanently scarred and his father refused skin grafts.

He’d met Cassian at the hospital, who came there having been beaten so badly by his foster father, that he had a concussion, broken ribs and a punctured eye socket.

Mrs. Darling, Rhys’s mother, who was one of the biggest benefactors of the children’s hospital where they were recovering, heard their stories and thankfully, her wealth opened every door. Her influence and wealth were no match for Azriel’s father. Hence when she decided that she wanted to adopt the two boys, little could be done to dissuade her. Azriel and Cassian still spent some time in foster care, while the documents were being processed and all the formalities legalized, but at the end, they ended up with the Darlings, as their adopted sons.

Elain wanted to cry for him, for his destroyed childhood, for his tormented youth, for his injuries, for the lack of love in his life. For his sake, though, she didn’t.

Sensing that he needed her support, she didn’t release his hand for the remainder of the day.

And she told him how much she loved him and how happy he made her.

 They left Montepulciano, and then drove for a few hours and stopped at Orvieto, and explored its unnecessary enormous Duomo, which was situated on the hill, amidst the Umbrian lushness. The tiny town did offer spectacular views and great wine, which they enjoyed with lunch.

 Now

Azriel worked his fingers into the supple warmth of her damp pussy and looked down, before ordering, “wider, Lainey”.

She spread her legs wider, her knit dress folded haphazardly over the belly.

“Wider,” he said and she placed one foot on the seat, exposing herself completely to him.

It was never wide enough for him, for he liked to see everything, liked to spread and open and pull her wide apart for his eyes, for his exploration.

He pressed his thumb to her plump pink clit and began to rub.

She whined impatiently and he smiled,

“We are almost there…”

“I need you,” she moaned, kissing his shoulder through his shirt.

“I need you too, my beauty,” he nodded, “but I think once we get there, you’ll forget all about me.”

She tsked and announced, “I don’t know if anything will impress me as much as your cock in my mouth,”

He started at the blunt words, her amused grin and then burst out laughing.

“Naughty.”

In a few minutes, he rounded a small green hill and Elain’s breath caught in her throat.

“Oh, gods…Az…”

He was smiling.

He’d never been here before, but he’d done his research, finally finding the right spot.

A tiny hidden valley, nestled between a few rolling Tuscan hills, with a small turquoise lake sparkling in the late afternoon sun. In the distance, a mandatory Tuscan villa.

And poppies. Fields of poppies, stretching as far as the eye can see. A blanket of ruby-red poppies, gently swaying in the pine-scented air.

This place was a damn Walmart painting come true, and Azriel loved it for its kitsch, its predictability.

“It’s gorgeous!” she gasped. Then chuckled, adding, “Like one of those mass-produced paintings,”

At that, Azriel roared with laughter, killed the engine and they got out of the car.

“My thoughts exactly!” he nodded vigorously.

She ran into the poppies, brushing her palm over the petals, “But it’s worth it! No painting can ever do this justice! Az…it’s so beautiful!” she twirled in the field of red, her white dress a stark contrast to the vibrancy of the colours around her—the cobalt of the cloudless sky, the emerald green of the hills, the blood-red of the poppies.

He folded his arms and said, “I am glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it!”

She inspected all the wildflowers that bloomed among the poppies, picking a few purple ones and a daisy and tucking them behind her ear. Another daisy she brought to him and tucked it into his hair.

“There is a blanket in the trunk,” he jerked his head towards the car, and unbuttoned his shirt almost to the navel, “if you want to picnic,”

“I want to picnic!” she squealed and ran to the car to get what she needed.

Soon there was a blanket on the grass and a few bottles of wine in a basket.

He slid down, stretching on the blanket, toeing off his shoes, rolling his shoulders. This was nice. He also relished her happiness, how her high ponytail bounced about as she ran through the field barefoot, and then began twirling, arms outstretched and singing loudly,

The hills are alive with the sound of

Griswold, he helped out.

“Are you coming here?” he called out, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“No,” she yelled, “I am picking flowers!”

“They’ll wilt,” he muttered reasonably, but she didn’t hear him.

Azriel dozed off, surprising himself. But the pleasant heat, the sunshine, the breeze, the birds—all lulled him into sleep. He stirred only when he sensed Elain near, and when he opened his eyes, he was treated by a lovely surprise. He propped himself on his elbows and watched his beautiful girl walk towards him completely naked, with a heap of flowers in the crook of her arm. What she did with her dress he didn’t know and didn’t care. But he drunk in the slim, curvy silhouette of her body, the long, slender legs and the toned thighs. Her smooth, pink sex glistened just a bit with her usual arousal, and full breasts bounced with every step. Her hair flowed behind her, unbound.

“I got hot,” she announced.

He grinned.

“I can see that. I like it when you get hot like this.”

She stood over him, her delicious slit taunting him and he made to touch it, but she dumped all the flowers on him instead and said, “get up”.

“Why?!” he frowned. “I am so comfortable.”

“I can make you a little more comfortable,” she promised, “but for that, you have to get up.”

With a groan, he got on his feet, only to have her slide on her knees in front of him. She looked up and murmured, “by the time you are done with me, I only want to have gelato to soothe my throat.”

He swallowed audibly, watching her unbutton his trousers and then his shirt. She removed the pants completely, but left the white shirt on, before placing a few soft, loving kisses on the thick slabs of muscles on his stomach. The well-defined outline of his Adonis Belt she traced with her tongue, inevitably making her way from his hip towards the final destination.

“And I want my knees bruised,” she added with a wicked smirk.

He flicked her nose and shook his head, “such filthy words coming from this pretty little mouth.”

She licked her lips with impatience, hungrily watching him fist his member and give it a few rough, preliminary strokes.

“Gods, your cock is gorgeous,” she gasped with admiration, watching him work himself with practiced determination.

“You like my cock?” he drew the thick, smooth head of it over her full lips and she whimpered with anticipation, nodding, kissing it affectionately, with slow, open mouth kisses, as he continued to pump it lazily.

She admitted, “more than anything. Az, Az,” she begged impatiently, as he smeared a trickle of liquid that dribbled from the tip over her lips, “please,”

“Please what?”

She rested her hands on his thighs, kneeling close enough so that her breasts brushed against them, “I want it in my mouth. Please.”

He lightly smacked the thick girth of his shaft over her half-opened mouth, making her shake with anticipation, smiling down at her. Her eyes burned with raw, overwhelming desire.

“But I like it when you ask me, baby. Tell me more,”

“That your cock is gorgeous and ridiculously huge?” she chuckled, relishing in his rubbing the tip insistently over her lips, as she licked the little slit.

“Keep going,” he encouraged.

“That I love you and can’t wait to suck it?”

“Alright, babe,” she nodded at last, “I guess you’ll just have to suck my huge dick,” and with that, he slid between her lips.

She smiled around him and pulled on it deeper, dragging her tongue over and under the thick shaft. It was always just a little too big for her, so she gasped, as he filled her mouth more and more, sliding in steadily. She eased her throat as much as she could, accepting the thrust and feeling the smooth head dip down, brushing the back of her throat. He was watching her intently, every bob and swallow of her throat, making sure that she was comfortable enough to hold him in. “Big?” he murmured. Her eyes teared up, but she managed a small nod. Her hands squeezed his thighs nervously, tightly, stroking the backs of them, while he began to pull out slowly, before sliding back in.

Nothing was more exciting than Elain’s ability to mould her throat around his shaft, while those big brown eyes blinked at him, seeking approval. He put his hand over her head, stroking it, then caressing her face, her hollowed cheeks, while giving her mouth a few exploratory thrusts.

She readied herself and pulled back, releasing the cock with an audible pop, and then licking the underside, from the balls to the tip.

“Just like that, my love,” he nodded, watching her tuck her face in the crease of his hip and slide her tongue up and down the sides of his cock. “Is that good?”

“It’s the best,” she vowed, “I love licking!” she added enthusiastically, proceeding to do just that.

He always remembered that she was very innocent and whatever she knew, no matter how sensual, erotic or even perverse, it all came from him. He taught her—gently, firmly and thoroughly the art of the bedroom and whatever they did, he was completely assured that she enjoyed and wanted every moment of it. Thankfully, she was so innocent that she didn’t know how to pretend or fake anything, especially when it came to sex, and didn’t know how to play games. She was eager and loving and excitable because what they did together, with each other, pleased her, and for no other reason. Azriel cherished this level of honesty more than anything.

Therefore, when she said that she loved licking, she showed him just how much she enjoyed it, licking up and down voraciously, over the sides, watching him unblinking. He cupped the pouch of his balls in one hand and carefully eased it into her mouth.

“You are so good to me,” he groaned, as she wrapped her lips around the ball and began to suck eagerly, not caring if she was loud, smacking her lips, tongue working non-stop, caressing the flesh. She hummed appreciatively around the balls, sending a pleasant shiver down his thighs, her mouth completely filled with him. “That’s good, my girl,” he stroked her head, “just like that. Keep going,” his head fell back with satisfaction, and she swallowed hard around his balls, almost moaning at the sight of his neck, the expression of pleasure written on his face.

“Can I tell you a story?” he muttered huskily, looking back down at her, his eyes dark and his face tense. Elain nodded. He gripped his cock and then slid it back in her mouth, almost to the hilt, making her choke and gag at once, watching her eyes widen.

She was drooling, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the pressure of her member in her throat, or from the visual display of his stunning body above her. The thick pectorals, adorned with black and blue ink twitched as he began to pump in and out of her mouth, hard and steady. He held the back of her head, but the clutch of his hand was light and casual, only keeping her in place, as his narrow hips flexed with each deep push. A delicious bead of sweat ran down the cobbled network of his abdominal muscles, slowly making its way to the deep V etched into his hips, towards the thick cock that he was currently ramming into her mouth.

She drooled. She licked and laved and lapped. She didn’t care how messy or ridiculous she looked, because her man loved her and loved her on her knees in front of him.

“I couldn’t stop watching you talk,” he grumbled, “the first time I saw you. Your plump lips…Oh fuck, baby, you feel so, so good,” he rode her smoothly, with deep, expert strokes, “you wore that rose-tinted lipstick…and all I could think of afterward was those lips wrapped around my dick.”

She smiled over his member, lightly shaking her head, as much as her current position would allow.

“I am sorry, honey,” he smiled at her, “this pervy mind couldn’t think of anything else but getting my dick down your throat.”

And demonstrating just that, and the resolution of his dream, he pushed further.

“Alright?” he asked, carefully holding her jaw. She blinked her approval. He was unable to take his eyes off her, her lush lips wrapped tightly around the dark mass of him, her beautiful eyes tearing from pressure. He wiped the tears with his thumbs and then gave a brief nod, “give me those flowers, baby.”

Obviously, she couldn’t glance down, so she blindly grabbed a handful of flowers and handed them to him, her expression amused, a little surprised.

“What’s more romantic,” he murmured, stroking her hollowed cheeks and then pulling out a little, before pushing back in, “than putting pretty flowers into my Lainey’s hair,” and he plucked a small poppy from the heap, and pushed in into her hair, “while she deepthroats me?”

He was heavy and thick in her mouth, salty, delicious and familiar, and as he began thrusting firmly, the thick head hitting the back of her throat, Elain settled in for a ride. She wasn’t kidding when she asked for her throat to be raw by the end of it—she liked being sore somewhere in her body from him, at all times. Between her legs, inside her rectum, in her throat—it didn’t matter, though it was nice if it was everywhere, but she loved being marked by him in some way.

The hum and rumble in Azriel’s throat, that of masculine satisfaction and some kind of primal dominance made her so wet, she leaked down her thighs. But he didn’t tell her to touch herself, so she didn’t. He just fucked her throat steadily, the audible sound of her choking and sputtering around his cock and the satisfied snarls emanating from him, the only sounds around them. His hips rocked hard, pumping deep, as he garbled endearments and praise to her, “is that so good, honey? You feel amazing…”

She squeezed his thighs in affirmation. As he worked on her, he kept putting flowers in her hair, admiring her sucking and his work, “so gorgeous, baby. My beautiful girl…Good cock?”

“Mmmm,” she only managed, saliva bathing her chin and chest, her eyes rolling back with pleasure and exhaustion.

“Can you handle a little more?” he begged, “I don’t want to come yet, my love,” another flower in her hair. “I love you on your knees with my cock in her mouth.”

He set a brutal rhythm, muttered, “choke, baby…” and she did, gagging and panting over his member, the lack of oxygen making her pliant and obliging, her mouth existing for his pleasure. When they played a little rougher, he could request to squeeze her throat a little with his hand, while he choked her with his cock, but today, he was feeling romantic, as was she.

Her hair dripped with flowers of all kinds, as he fashioned her into some kind of Summer Lady. Or maybe a Dusk Lady, since the sun began its descent and shadows spread over the pretty little valley.

“Fuck me, you are so beautiful,” he grunted, looking down at her. “My flower girl, with my cock in her mouth. Bob a little, love, show me how much you like it,” he encouraged and she immediately began to bob her head  up and down on him, drool sliding down his shaft, her eyes pleading for his approval, which he gave generously.

He gently, kindly stroked her face, her throat, feeling his cock deep inside it, moving in her, rubbing at the indentation with his thumb. Then, he cupped her face between his large hands and murmured, “open up”, thumbs brushing over her damp cheeks, as tears slid down when he started to thrust intently, battering her throat. “My girl is sucking so well,” he was relentless now, pounding and pounding, an Elain thought that she might just pass out from the sensation, feeling lightheaded. Azriel had inhuman stamina when he was between her legs, but that also translated to when he was in her mouth, which meant he could ravage her completely. “I’ll feed you all the gelato myself, if you can suck a little more,” he promised with a smirk, pulling out completely. “Breathe,” he ordered, and she gulped in some air, before he thrust back inside, “are you tired?”

She shook her head ‘no’. She was never tired for him. She moaned, though his cock pushed down all sound with brutal, excited enthusiasm, as he cupped his balls tightly in his hand, readying to finally come. “Fuck, baby, you suck so well,” he squeezed her shoulder, stooping over her, the muscled of his abdomen twitching and tensing, his balls tight against her chin. Grabbing her shoulder with one hand, he cupped her under the jaw and kept her head still, as he exploded in her mouth. He poured down her throat with a pleased, blissful moan, throwing his head back, pumping harshly and erratically, filling her mouth over and over. She sucked and drank, swallowing quickly, gluttonously. Azriel always tasted heavenly, but perhaps it was something about being in Italy and all the fruit and wine that they’ve been consuming, but she couldn’t get enough of him now. He shot rope after rope down her throat and she lapped it all with pleasure. He dropped on his knees, exhausted, his cock still in her mouth, and she stroked and caressed his body soothingly, swallowing the last of him.

“Gods, Elain,” was all he managed, as he finally withdrew in an endlessly long pull from her lips.

She gasped, and licked her lips, before placing a loving, playful kiss on the pink, wet head of the shaft.

“Did you have fun, my love?” she cooed tenderly, as Azriel slumped on the blanket, head her on her lap.

“Baby, why do you spoil me like this?” he moaned, reaching for her bare plump breast and cupping lightly.

“Probably because I love you more than it’s prudent,” she smiled, her voice hoarse. “More than anything. Love you like I didn’t know I could love anybody. Also,”

“Yes?”

His chest constricted from her simple admissions, from the pure earnestness of her words, from the love that was shining in her brown eyes. He was undeserving of this woman, of her overwhelming love for him, of everything that she gave him so selflessly. But he listened and listened, because everything she told him was like a balm on all the wounds of his soul, and music to his heart.

Her lips were gorgeously, obscenely swollen, and he dragged his thumb over their plumpness. She added, “you are very hot.”

“Ahhh,” he chuckled. “So you are using me for my body?”

“I’d be stupid not to use you for your body. You got one hell of a body, my mysterious, shadowy Azriel.”

“Well, flower girl, you go ahead and use my body as much as you want, for anything you desire. It’s yours.”

He kissed her hand. Then, reached up and kissed her pretty pink nipple.

“As is my heart,” he added softly. “Anything you want. It’s all yours.”

She lay next to him, both of them sprawled in the blanket of flowers. She picked a poppy and stuck it behind his ear.

“Pretty boy Azriel.”

He propped his cheek and turned to face her. She was still covered in flowers, from all his handiwork.

“We are good together, aren’t we?” she murmured, laying her hand on his neck.

“We are. We are very good together, Lainey.”

She bit her swollen lip and then said, voice quiet, a little uncertain,

“Maybe you want to marry me?” she proposed.

He stilled, waiting for more.

She squeezed the back of his neck a little tighter and continued, no stopping her now, “I know we were thinking later, maybe next y-,”

“Yes,” he nodded, “yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, Elain, I want to marry you now.”

She gasped, tears of joy moistening her eyes, “In Florence?” she begged.

“Yes. In Florence,” he cupped her face in his. “Let’s go get married!”

[nastybuckybarnes]

Joke’s on You

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky’s fuckboy tendencies get the better of him. But you show him you’re not gonna be tossed around like a toy. This time, he gets the shit end of the stick.

Warnings: Language, Angst, Smut, Fighting, Angst, 

Word Count: 4.3K

A/N: Okay fellas. Here she is. The third instalment of Gangsta. Now, this one can be read in the series or as a standalone. Based on Charlotte Lawerence’s ‘Joke’s on You’ (Both regular and acoustic.) and also on Love the Way you Lie obvi cause angst and toxic relationships hehe. I’ve got the next part almost fully written and lemme warn y’all, it’s a tearjerker. So good luck!

Gangsta

I see Red

Jokes On You

Habits (Coming soon)

~*~

“Hey, Steve.” He nods at you, arm resting on the back of the seat just behind your shoulders. “Waitin’ for him?” You nod, lips pursed as you cross your arms on the table.

The club is loud, music thumping under your feet and people chattering all around you. Your eyes scour the club, looking for James.

You feel Steve stiffen a moment before you find him, and then you realize why Steve reacted the way he did.

Bucky’s standing at the bar, flirting and chatting up a busty brunette waitress. You grind your teeth together, watching the way he looks her up and down.

“I’m sure he’s just being friendly?” Steve offers, cringing when you turn your glare on him.

“That’s the problem. If I ever get that friendly with a guy I’ll never hear the end of it. I fucking hate that this is such a double standard. I’m not gonna just sit around and watch him get with random bitches. Not anymore.” You make to stand up, halting when Steve grabs your hand.

“At least dance with me. Not someone that he’s gonna kill for no reason.” You ponder this, glancing over to your boyfriend once more and making your mind up quickly. The brunette is leaning in, her lips almost touching his face.

You grab Steve’s hand and haul him towards the dance floor, ignoring the way you can feel Bucky’s eyes on you. You spin around in Steve’s arms, pressing your back against his front and moving your hips against him.

He grips your waist, his head resting over your shoulder, lips just barely brushing the shell of your ear.

You slowly open your eyes, looking over to where Bucky’s sitting, his jaw clenched and his eyes focused on you.

The waitress is gone for the moment, but two glasses sit on the counter beside him, one of them stained with red lipstick.

He raises his eyebrows at you and you cock your head to the side before reaching over your shoulder and grabbing a handful of Steve’s hair. Bucky’s eyes flash a warning at him and you only roll your eyes in return, before tugging Steve’s head down and craning your neck back to smash your lips against his.

He’s stunned for a minute, before kissing you back with passion, his teeth grazing over your bottom lip. His hands trail up your body, cupping your breasts through the thin material of your dress and groping them roughly.

You pull away after a moment, panting hard. When you open your eye they immediately flicker to Bucky, a frown crossing your face when you see him once again talking to the brunette.

Huffing a frustrated breath, you tug out of Steve’s arms and strut over to the bar, smiling sweetly at your boyfriend.

He hardly glances at you, only giving you attention when you clear your throat.

“I uh... I should get back to my table,” the waitress says, smiling at Bucky before walking away. His eyes stay on her backside and you scoff.

“Really, James?” He shrugs, playing it cool when all he wants to do is bend you over the counter and fuck you until the only thing you remember is his name.

“Yeah. Maybe don’t come home tonight. She and I are really hitting it off. She’s got a tongue stud and said she’d let me see her nipple rings.”

You scoff again, shaking your head at him.

“Yeah, whatever. When you’re done being a prick let me know. I’m staying with Steve tonight. Maybe when you grow up a bit and can talk about whatever doubts you’re having about our relationship, then I’ll come home. But not before then.”

He watches you walk away, his heart aching and his mind racing. He doesn’t want to let you get away, but he has no choice. He can’t need you. He doesn’t want to need you. And yet here he is, needing you.

You walk up to Steve, your anger evident on your face.

“He being a dick again?” He asks, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Of fucking course he is! When is he not? God, sometimes I forget why we got together.” Steve chuckles, his hands holding your waist. “Because you guys are a match made in heaven? C’mon. I’ll take you home. I’m sure he’s just gonna get shitfaced then bum a ride from some poor defenceless college kid.” You nod, taking a deep breath but deciding that Steve’s probably right.

As you’re turning to the door, you see none other than your boyfriend leaving, one hand on the ass of the waitress as the two of them leave the club together.

“Jesus Christ he’s leaving with her,” you hiss, turning to glare at Steve.

“He’s an idiot. I’ll take you home.” You shake your head, determined to make a point.

“No. Take me to your place. He gets to go with a random bitch, fine. I’m going home with someone else too.” Steve sighs, knowing better than to argue with you when you’re in a mood like this.

The ride to his house is silent, the tension thick in the car as you stew in your anger.

Too many times has Bucky done this, pushed you away and fucked other girls, only to get mad at you whenever you attempt to do the same.

Fucking random guys would only get them killed, exactly how Steve said, however, Bucky cares too much about his best friend to kill him. Beat him to a pulp? Sure. But Bucky could never kill Steve.

As soon as you’re in Steve’s apartment you’re on him, mouth pressed tightly against his and hands pushing his jacket off of his shoulders. He pauses for a moment, pulling away to look at you carefully.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? You know he’s gonna find out.” You roll your eyes and step out of your dress, kicking it aside and standing bare in front of the blond.

“He can go fuck himself after fucking that waitress. If he does. And if he doesn't then he’ll finally know how I’ve felt all those times when he’s come home smelling like another woman.” Steve ponders this for a moment longer before grabbing you by the waist and pulling you tight against his body.

His kisses are fierce, all teeth and tongue and power and you allow yourself to get lost in the feeling. All thoughts of Bucky are shoved aside. He’s not a priority to you tonight.

No. The only thing on your mind is revenge.

And by God does Steve make it taste sweet.

~*~

Your head is pounding and you swear you feel like you’ve swallowed sand.

The sound of a door opening makes you pry your lids open, glancing over to the sound. Steve offers you a smile, a glass of water and a couple of pills in his hands.

You sit up and rub your face before grabbing the water and painkillers, downing them both quickly then groaning.

“Where’s my phone?” You croak, holding your hand out expectantly.

Steve hesitates and you feel the atmosphere change. You lift your head and look at him, brows drawn together.

“Give it to me now.” He sighs and pulls your phone out of his back pocket, tossing it over to you.

You catch it effortlessly, turning it on while your heart beats in your throat.

Your world crumbles slightly at the sight of your lock screen.

Zero notifications from him.

Not a text.

Not one single phone call.

Nothing.

You grind your teeth together and toss the blankets off of yourself, marching over to Steve’s dresser and grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt that’s at least two sizes too small for him.

“Give me your keys,” you demand, marching out of the room with murder on your mind.

Steve grabs your arm but you yank out of his grip.

“Think about what you’re doing before you do it, (Y/n). Please.” You take a few deep breaths then shake your head.

“I’m just gonna go talk to him. If he’s not serious about us then neither am I. I just want to see...” You trail off and Steve sighs, handing you the keys to his Ferrari.

“If you so much as scratch the paint I’ll-” “Yeah, yeah you’ll kill me I know. It’s fine I’ll just buy you a new one.”

You’re out the door before he can say anything else, keys jammed in the car’s ignition.

Steve would have a heart attack if he saw the way you were treating his baby.

And he would die on the spot if he saw the way you drove.

By the time you’re outside the apartment you and Bucky share, you’ve had some time to cool down.

That doesn't stop you from grabbing a knife out of the glove box though.

You hold it loosely in your dominant hand as you walk into the building then up through the elevator, the trip taking far more time than usual.

But then you’re outside of your apartment, ready to have a serious conversation about where the two of you stand with regards to your relationship.

You unlock the door and push your way into the apartment, stopping right in the doorway when you see not one but two people in your home.

A piece of your heart shatters and any semblance of composure is left a step behind you.

Bucky looks like a deer in headlights, his mind foggy, but yours is working just as well as it usually does, if not better.

The waitress from the night before stands before you in your boyfriend’s shirt, a confused look on her face.

You hold the knife tighter in your grasp and pounce, the blade just nicking her throat before Bucky yanks her out of the way.

She lets out a terrified scream, stumbling to the ground and scrambling away from you.

Before you can get her again Bucky’s got your arms pinned to your sides, his metal arm holding tightly to the arm that has the knife.

“Grace, you should probably leave,” He says softly, his eyes focused on the look of pure betrayal on your face.

The waitress gets up and gathers her things quickly, her eyes on you.

You eye her with nothing but pure hatred in your gaze, straining against his hold.

He doesn’t loosen his grip until she’s safely out the door, only then does he let you go.

But what a mistake.

Your anger is now directed at him and you swipe your blade up at him, catching the apple of his cheek and leaving an angry red slice across his pretty face.

“Fuck!” He jumps back, one hand coming up to the wound while the other extends defensively in front of himself.

You don’t follow him like he thought you would. No, instead you toss the knife aside and turn away from him.

He’s utterly confused at your behaviour. It’s not like anything you’ve ever done before.

He was prepared for anger, for wrath like no other. But this? This is new territory and he hates that.

You pour yourself a glass of whiskey and bring it over to the couch, plopping down and grabbing your phone out of your pocket. Bucky approaches you slowly as if you’re an animal ready to lash out at any moment. But you don’t.

“Baby?”  He asks softly, waiting for the anger.

But he gets nothing in reply.

“I’d be using my time more wisely if I were you,” you say stoically, eyes on your phone as you fight tears.

“W-what do you mean?” He’s never felt genuine fear for his life before now.

“You have twenty-eight minutes left to get your shit and get out. Whatever’s left after that is getting burned. If you’re still here then you will also be on that list of things that will be getting burned.”

He’s shocked.

“What do you mean?” He repeats, taking a few hesitant steps closer to your figure. The way that you stay so unbothered, eyes on your phone as if he means nothing to you, it’s beyond concerning.

“I’m not going to repeat myself. It’s up to you if you want to take me seriously or not.” He’s not sure what to do, but he knows that he pushed you too far, if only from the way that you don’t give a single fuck about him.

“I-I’m sorry,” he tries, voice low and hands raised in surrender and fear, hoping to appeal to your human side.

Unfortunately for him, your human side is long gone.

“Mhm,” is all you say in reply, taking another sip of your drink and trying to remember where you keep the propane.

He starts moving then, packing up a bag that’s enough to last him a few days. He’s not sure if he should believe that you’ll actually burn his things, but he grabs all his valuables just in case.

The remaining twenty-five minutes go by far too quickly, and then he’s standing at the door, watching you rise to your feet with the utmost grace.

He watches as you start gathering up little knickknacks, stray socks and books of his, a bunch of pictures, a set of ridiculously expensive champagne glasses, and the necklace he got you for your last birthday. You toss it all into a cardboard box then head into the next room to gather more things.

His curiosity and want to preserve what little he can of the relationship gets the better of him and he hesitantly creeps his way over to the box, grabbing the pictures and the necklace.

A bullet narrowly misses his hand and he almost drops his belongings in his haste to get out of the line of fire, but you’ve got the barrel pointed directly at him again, finger hovering dangerously over the trigger.

“I told you: half an hour. You’re done. Get out. If I ever see you again, I’ll kill you.” He says nothing. Instead, he grabs his belongings and leaves without so much as a second glance.

~*~

“Have you tried talking to her? She seemed pretty pissed when she left my place.” Bucky glares at his friend, “You fucking asshole, don’t even try to give me advice, you’re the one who ruined this in the first place.”

Steve raises his brows and downs his scotch then actually laughs at his friend, the sound getting slightly drowned out by the noises in the bar

“Do I need to remind you who left the club first? You took that waitress home before (Y/n) and I even left. That’s the only reason I took her home. She would’ve fucked anybody in that club and then you would’ve gone and made a mess that I would’ve had to clean up. I took her home cause you and I both know I’ll take good care of her and won’t treat her like shit. She deserves the world, Buck, and you treat her like a piece of garbage.”

The brunet is silent as his friend tells him what he knows is true but really just doesn’t want to accept.

“That woman loves you, Buck. To the moon and back. With her whole fucking heart and soul and you stomp on it every damn chance you get. If she wasn’t so damn in love with you, I’d take her out. Wine and dine her real nice, just how she deserves. I’d show her what it’s like to be loved.”

The glass shatters in the brunet’s hand as he listens to his best friend talk about the way he’d treat the woman he loves.

“I get it! I’m a fucking idiot. I’ll go talk to her.” He drops a couple of bills on the table then marches out of the bar, trying to keep his composure and his confidence on the drive to the apartment.

He’s not sure what he’s going to say, but he knows he needs to apologize. He needs to tell you that he loves you and that you’re the only one he wants.

Hesitant knuckles knock against the door and he feels stupid. It’s his place too.

When he gets no reply he pushes the door open, his stomach dropping and his heart clenching tight in his chest.

It’s empty.

No furniture, no decorations, and not one single sign of you.

“(Y/n)?!” He calls, hand darting to the gun tucked into his pants as he explores the empty penthouse.

“(Y/n)?” His voice is softer but more desperate, the reality of the situation hitting him like a punch in the gut.

You’re gone.

He lost you. And he’s not sure if he’s gonna be able to get you back.

~*~

You shoulder your way into the tiny shithole that you’re calling home, brows drawn together and shoulders heavy with exhaustion.

“Love the new place.” You’ve got a gun raised and aimed at the voice, heart racing in your chest at the fact that you didn’t even realize they were here.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You demand, not lowering your weapon as you walk into the living room.

He’s seated on the couch, eyes staring straight through the window across from him.

“You left,” is all he says.

You want to scoff.

Scratch that; you want to shout. To yell and scream and beat him to a bloody pulp. You want to ask him why. Why he hurt you so badly and why he acts like he did nothing.

Instead, you walk past him and set your gun on the table.

“Why did you leave?” His voice is closer than before, his feet silent as they carry him towards you. You’re in your bedroom, raking your hands through your hair as you try to handle the situation.

“Why?” He asks again, two metal fingers just hardly brushing against your bicep. You yank yourself away from him, eyes full of rage and betrayal as you glare at him.

“Don’t you fucking dare touch me! You have no fucking right!” He takes a moment to look you over, a frown on his face as he sees how upset you are.

This isn’t how this usually goes. Usually, the two of you shout and scream at each other, then fuck all the anger out.

But not this time.

No, this time it’s different. Because there’s more than just anger on your face.

The look of pain, of absolute agony on your face, has his heart shattering in his chest.

“Doll... I’ll never be able to apologize for what I did. I just...”  “You just what, Bucky?” You never call him that. Exhaustion laces your voice and your shoulders slump forward.

“You just what? You wanted to hurt me again? Well congrats, you did a great job. Now please leave. I don't want to see you. Not now and not ever fucking again.” He shakes his head as you turn away from him again.

“No, no you don’t mean that. We’re good together. We’re so fucking good together. You’re the Lois Lane to my Superman. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

His words are dripping with desperation and truth. He’s scared, terrified that this is the end. But he’s talked you back before, he can do it again.

“I’ve been hurt before, Buck. And when I saw... that... it felt like there was a knife in my fucking throat. Like someone was stabbing me in the chest and in the back all at the same time. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t fight. And you know what? I’m done fighting. I’m done fighting you, I’m done fighting for you and, I’m so fucking done fighting for us. It’s not worth it anymore.”

He shakes his head but you continue, not giving him a moment to speak.

“We’re not good together. We’re toxic. We’re so fucking toxic but you love it. You love that I hate you because I always come crawling back. You never let me leave, you’ve never ever told me you loved me. It’s always been me. I was the only one who ever tried to salvage our relationship and I’m done doing that.”

He shakes his head, swallowing the sorrow and bile in his throat at the way your voice breaks, the way you crack and splinter and shatter right before his very own eyes.

And it’s his fault. He caused this. He's the one who hurt you.

“Doll I love you. So fucking much. I feel so fucking ashamed for everything I’ve done and the way that I’ve acted.” You scoff, shaking your head at him, “as you fucking should. I’m not going to comfort you. You see me crumbling, see me in pain, and all you've ever done is stand by and watch the show. I won’t let you. Not anymore.”

You sniffle and scrub a tear off of your cheek, your voice shaking as you start speaking again.

“I love you. So much that I can fucking hardly breathe when I’m with you. And when I fell in love with you... it hit me out of the blue. Out of fucking nowhere. I never wanted t-to hurt you or to make you upset. Now I can’t even look at you. You said you’d be my ride or die but you have never been there when I’ve needed you.”

His eyes are red-rimmed and his heart is in his stomach. This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.

“B-But I can change. Just give me another chance, please, doll. I swear things will be different this time.”

You shake your head angrily, furious that you’re having to have this conversation with him.

“No! You don’t get it! You don’t get another chance, this isn’t a game! You lied again and now you’re going to fucking watch me walk out of your life and I’m not going to fucking look back!”

“Baby, please. Just... I just... I need you so much. I know I wasn’t there for you and I know it wasn’t you and it was me but your temper’s just as bad as mine is and we’re both stubborn as hell and so fucking crazy. Our relationship isn’t as bad as it seems and I love you too much for you to walk away. Come home, we can try again.”

You’re crying now, arms crossed tightly over your chest in a pathetic attempt at protecting yourself

“You’re a broken record, Bucky. Playing the same damn thing over and over again. You don’t mean a word you’re saying.”

He winds up and his fist slams into the wall, a large hole gaping in the drywall.

There goes your damage deposit.

Tears are streaking down his face and his chest is heaving as emotions wrack through his body, tearing him limb from limb and setting him on fire.

“You’re not even listening to me! Don't you hear the sincerity in my voice! I told you this was my fault! I know it’s all my fault! Next time-”

“Next time?!” You actually laugh, though the two of you know there’s no humour behind it. “You don’t get a ‘next time’! We’re done! We’re fucking done!”

“No! You’re not listening to me! All I want is to have you back home! I’m tired of these fucking games! Come home!”

He reaches for you, hands grasping your waist, and you shimmy out of his grip and back up in the bedroom, absolutely fuming at the audacity this man has.

“This isn’t a fucking game, James! If you ever come near me again I will tie you to that fucking bed and set this place on fire! I will show you exactly how you’ve made me felt and by the end of it you’ll be begging me to kill you!”

The two of you stand facing off with each other, tears falling and eyes narrowed, but you won’t give in.

Not this time.

After a few very long minutes his shoulders sag and his entire demeanour changes as he accepts defeat. As he realizes that you’re not giving in this time.

He lost.

He lost you.

“Alright. If that’s what you want, fine.” He turns around and walks towards the front door, each step sending a sharp fiery pain through his chest.

He hesitates when he gets to the door, eyes squeezed shut as he waits, hopes, and prays for you to stop him.

But you say nothing. You only watch him, wait for him to leave and take all his lies and deceit away.

He pulls the door open, steps through, and turns around, red eyes focused solely on you.

You muster up your courage and take calculated steps through the apartment towards the front door.

His heart jumps up into his throat, lips parting to apologize and to thank you for giving him another chance, but he doesn’t get a word out.

No, you close the door in his face and leave him standing alone on the other side, your decision having been made.

His movements are mechanical as he makes his way to his car, keys in the ignition and foot on the gas.

It can’t be real.

It can’t be.

He finds himself back in your old apartment, eyes on the absolute nothingness, a perfect representation of your relationship.

A strangled sob leaves his lips, and then another one. And another until they’re consuming him and he’s on the floor, unable to breathe or move.

No, he curls up in the fetal position, hunched in on himself, and screams your name. He curses himself, his friends, his stupidity.

He deserves this. He knows that.

He’s a lost cause.

Loving him was a mistake on your part.

But that doesn’t make the hurt go away.

Fuck, he wants the hurt to go away.

[wavbleu]

Chris Evans: Daddy issues

Kinks: Older men, rough, praise, slight degradation,  Size kink, practically anything somebody with daddy issues would enjoy.

( i decided to smush daddy issues along with the babysitter plot) also, if you want a lengthy slow burn story read all the way through, if you just want the scene😉😉😉 just scroll down and look for the sign " *~*"

oh big daddy evans, may i please suck yo big juicy monstrous cock😩‼️

~~~~

~Backstory~

This was your first babysitting gig, you never thought you'd have to resort to watching a bunch of little kids for money (As you never really liked them) but you desperately needed the money for rent. You already work 2 jobs, babysitting was just quick and easy money for you.

You live with your unfortunate drunken father in a small 2 bedroom apartment, you've been living there for years, for so long that the appliances are starting to go rusty. Perhaps it is better than living  out in the streets, but its no looker. Your father doesn't have a job and doesnt want one either, always refuses to help out around the house because its "A womans job."; Or even be there for you; He barely even deserves the title 'Dad' .

It hasnt always been like this though, your mother left him to go pursue her held-back dreams while you were 8, and left you to stay with your dad, that was her biggest mistake yet. You havent seen her since. Now he just sits on his ass all day drinking away all his problems and complaining about yours.

thats until a single father asks for you to babysit his kid...

~~~

You slowly drove through the gated neighborhood and observed all the beautiful houses and tall hills, you were in absolute awe. You could only dream living in a place this wealthy. "The pay  here must be amazing." first thing popping into your mind as you looked at all the Lambo's and Ferrari's.

You drove around the block searching for the designated house, "210"

"205..206...208....210!" You mumbled to yourself cheerfully, finally finding the house, you pulled into the drive way and put your car in park.

You took a moment of silence to prepare yourself for a long night of loud screaming and toddler tantrums, breathing in.. exhaling out. After a couple of breaths and positive affirmations, you finally gathered the courage and patience to get out of the car, when you got out; you were introduced to the beautiful sight of the house the man lived in, it looked even greater up close.

It was absolutely breathtaking, you felt obligated to take at least a second to examine and admire the outstanding beauty of the home, it was probably the best on the block. You couldn't even bother to guess how much the house was worth as you estimated its probably worth more than you as a person and everything you own x10.

You slowly walked up to the front door, still admiring your surroundings.

You hesitantly knocked and stood back, fiddling with your fingers and jacket, hoping that the owner heard your soft knocks.

You observed the fine wooden door before you, looking at the stained glass above it. Fascinated , you'd slowly graze your fingers upon the engraved designs on the wooden door. Tracing your finger on all the swirls and squiggles. "Wow.." You'd exhale in captivation.

You heard the front door loudly swing open, snapping you of your trance like state, also making you jump back a little.

"Oh-" you'd gasp before your breath fell to an immediate halt, your eyes were met with a tall well-built man, with a well groomed black suit on and a long black tie to match. His hair was dark brown, slightly gelled to the side.

You felt your palms start to sweat and your knees start to tremble just looking at him.

"Hi?" You'd mumble slightly intimidated by his attractiveness , giving a small wave and awkwardly scratching your shoulder.

"Hello little one" He smiled down at you, he noticed how nervous and shy you were, and wanted to simmer you down. But it only made it worst.

"Im the babysitter." You'd shakily say, feeling dominated just by being in his presence.

Immediately, the man took interest and began slightly leaning on the door, a subtle smirk forming on his face.. "Really? i thought you were the muffin man." You'd both let out a little laugh.

"Sorry that was a dad joke." ,"But im aware of that already." , "Whats your name again?" He looks down at you awaiting your answer. "Oh uh, Y/n" You muttered.

"Y/n." ," You have a gorgeous name." He said with a deeper , more husky voice. "Thank you." You felt your face heat up and your heart thump. "Anytime."

He'd let out a light chuckle at your cluelessness, "You know y/n, there's a doorbell right there." , he jokingly pressed it, the doorbell let out a loud ring.

"your lucky i was near or wouldn't have heard your soft knocks and would've left you standing out here in the cold"

"We wouldn't want that would we?"  He said, with that deep husky voice again.

"No, i really would not."  You would clear your throat and trembling, finding yourself mesmerized by his voice. "Come in silly girl." He invites, holding the door open wide enough for you to enter, then closing it behind you.

The interior didn't fail to amaze you with its beauty either, this home was drop dead gorgeous inside and out.

"May i?" He stops you and offers to take off your jacket, you nod; stepping in front of him and spreading your arms back.

He slowly slid your jacket off your arms, not trying to be too rough on you since you were smaller than him.

Once the jacket was off, he'd plaster a charming smile on his face and say "There you go." then going to go hang it on the coat rack. "Im guessing you want to take off your shoes yourself." He joked.

Although you'd love for him to give you that feeling again, you figured itd be weird for him to touch your feet.

"Haha Yea." You giggle, beginning to untie your shoelaces, "Thats alright, when your shoes are off put them next to those shiny black ones"

"And when your done, take a seat in the living room over there; make yourself at home." He pointed to the white chair with a navy blue pillow sitting on top of it.

You slid off your shoes and put it next to the large pair of black shiny shoes. "His feet is so much bigger than mines"  His feet were twice the size of yours, you'd take a deep gulp, as your shoe made of up half of his entire foot.

You got up and slowly navigated your way to the white chair, admiring the interior on the way, and hesitantly took a seat. Still somewhat cautious of your surroundings.

The living room was covered with legos , cars, babydolls and toys, with a loud kids show displayed on tv, the brightness was up so high that the colors from the tv made you feel like you were gonna go blind. "Shit." Youd mumble before going to shied your face, You helplessly rummaged for the remote with no luck.

Chris saw what was happening as he was passing by came to help.

"I apologize." Chris apologizes, grabbing the remote and shutting the tv off. "He always turns up the brightness after i tell him not too, hes gonna make himself go blind." , "Are you ok?" He asked with a worrisome voice, putting a hand on your shoulder. "Yes im perfectly fine, atleast i hope so." You'd rub your eyes trying to get your normal sight back.

Apologetically, he bent down to the sofas level and handed you the remote with a smile. "Go crazy, we have netflix and disney +" , "Thank you sir." You thank, he'd ruffle your hair then continued to walk to the the kitchen..

You set the remote aside and followed Chris , although you would love to keep flirting with him, you still have to do what your getting paid for.

"Need something?" He exclaims as he sees you following behind him with a curious face.

"Yes sir" You'd politely say , clearing your throat , trying to come off as more professional.

"Is there anything i need to know about your child?" You sit down at one of the seats on the island, tuning into his words and listening for instructions.

He'd open the fridge and grab out the orange juice, "Yea, His name is carson, he hates anything thats the color orange.." He takes a swish of the juice " I want him in bed by 8, no sugar before bed." He sternly demands, "Hes already got sleeping problems and giving him sugar will just make him bounce off the walls." another swish "Thats it." He finishes the bottle.

"Well sir, if you dont mind me asking where are you going." , you say hoping that you arent coming off as invasive. "A meeting at my office." ,"Corporate is gonna be there so its quite important, and far."

"Is your job boring."  Youd ask trying to keep the conversation afloat, "Obviously it is darling, its a job." he'd say in that deep tone once again , leaning over the counter to look you in the eyes "Right.." You'd mutter, your breath picking up speed.

"Anyways do you wanna meet carson?" He'd say breaking the tension, then going to toss the empty orange juice box into the trash. "Yea of course" You'd say in a shaky tone, finding yourself almost hypnotized by his deep voice once again.

"Carson?! The babysitters here!" He loudly called upstairs. Man could he yell, his voice sounded like a siren.

Minutes later, a little boy came running into the kitchen, with a barbie doll in hand. "Hi little man!" You cooed at the little boy, with the kindest smile to give off a friendly impression.

"Im y/n, your babysitter for tonight!" You said in a high pitched voice, the little boy just gave a blank stare; then smiled. "Your pretty." He'd mutter, then letting out a small giggle. You felt your heart burst open, exploding with cuteness and adorableness. Getting compliments from toddlers always felt amazing. Carson is a charmer, just like his father.

"Well aren't you the sweetest little thing?", you'd pinch his chubby cheek.

"Looks like someone has a crush." Chris joked, "Ive gotta go." Chris mutters after checking his watch "Carson, have fun with the cute babysitter." he'd wink at you, then swiftly went to snatch his case off the  island and walked out the kitchen

"Bye-bye!" Carson would wave, "Bye kid." Chris responded back. You both watched Chris leave out the doors.

"Wheres your room charmer?" You say with a soft yet fun and engaging voice, just to keep him happy.

He'd drag you upstairs to his room.

~Time skip to 8pm~

"Will daddy be home soon?" Carson whispered while tucked in bed. "Yes daddy will be home.." You'd check your watch. "Very soon!", "You'll be far in dreamland by then though." You smiled and booped his nose, "Alright!" He smiled cuddling up into his unicorn plushy, getting into a comfortable position.

"Want the nightlight on?" , "Yes please!" he responded, you switched on the nightlight, and watched as it lit up the whole room with stars and space ships. You were amazed as if you were a little kid too. "Goodnight, and the bed bugs WONT bite." You say, leaving his room and carefully closing the door.

"That wasnt as bad as i expected." You sighed. You began feeling a tinkling feeling arise in you giving you the signal that you needed to pee, "Wheres the bathroom in this place?" You question, frantically opening doors left and right with little to no luck, everything being either a closet or a guest room.

You opened another door, hoping it was the desired destination, only to find Chris' room. It was quite big for a singular person. "I shouldn't look." You say, "Curiosity killed the cat." You hopelessly reminded yourself, but something in you wanted to look around and find out more about him as a person.

So you looked.

You walked over to his dresser and looked at all the photos neatly arrayed on it. It was all pictures of Carson winning something or getting an award at school. You smirked, but felt some kind of jealousy spark in you for some reason.

i wish i had that.

You came across one photo that was flipped over to where you cant see it, you decided to pick it up and look at it. It was a family photo, this time with a woman included. She was pretty, like super model pretty. Judging from how the picture was flipped over and how she doesn't live here you figured they divorced, and it was bad.

You were gonna to continue looking through the photos until you heard an "Ahem." from behind you. You felt your heart jump, swiftly turning around and attempting to find a good excuse.

"I was looking for the bathroom-" You panicked, Your breath quickened, as he walked over with a smug smirk on his face then stopping right before you.

He firmly grasped your chin and lifted it up, "Thank you for taking care of Carson, hes never fell asleep when he's supposed to." , you slowly nodded and plastered a crooked smile on your face. "Now, what make you wanna go through my things little one?" He says with that tone again.

"Im sorry, i just got really curious and-" , "You know i could easily cut money off your good paycheck for this?" He gritted his teeth, he was pissed.

"Im sorry." You say with a nervous and scared tone, "Its alright im joking with ya." He laughed, letting go of your chin and walking away. "Man your fun to get." He chuckled.

*~*

You let out a anxious yet relieved  chuckle, trying to process what the hell just happened.

"All of your photos of you and Carson are so cute." You say hoping to clear the air, unhurriedly taking a seat on his bed, whilst chris begins undressing his suit. "Thank you, me and Carson are quite photogenic." He replies, "I even kind of find myself jealous of you 2." you say in a more depressing voice.

"Jealous?" He questions, walking over to you and takes a seat next to you on the bed. "Why are you jealous?" He asks again, "My relationship with my father is fucked." you mutter. "You do everything for Carson, you'd give your life away for him in a drop of a hat."

"My dad wouldn't do this for me even if he was paid too. He'd probably spend all the money on crack anyway." , "Im sorry." he apologized, as if he did something wrong.

"its not you its just fucking daddy issues." You laughed wiping away the gathering tears in your eyes, "If you wanna talk to me you can let it out." He says, "I think your swell." he smiles and ruffles your hair again. You'd go in for a hug, he wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead.

You'd pull away and stare, he reciprocated. "What are you looking at?" He whispers, glancing down at your lips and back at you.

You attached your lips onto his , resting your hand on his cheek. You felt as he gripped your hips and pulled you onto his thigh, straddling it.

You exchanged pecks and tongue, letting the heat between you to flow back and forth and take control. You let out a small moan as he guided your hips back and forth; creating friction on your clit. Smiling, he kissed your neck and left a hickey as he continued to thigh fuck you.

"Fuck~" You'd moan, grinding some more for more friction, "Needy one arent you?" He whispers into your ear, "Let me take care of you." He lifts you up off his knee, then slowly laid your body onto the bed.

"Take off your pants." He commanded, you slowly began working your sweatpants off, revealing to him your beautiful figure.

"Perfect." He mumbles, "Open your legs." He watched as you slowly spread apart your legs, showing him the wet spot on your panties.

"Your already wet for me?" He smiles, pressing his thumb down on the wet spot. He hovered himself over you, and kissed you and he teased your cunt through your underwears. You softly moaned as you felt his thumb go in small circles around your clit, kissing him became a challenge as it was constantly interrupted by your moans.

"Please stop teasing me" You ask, wanting more.

"Fine~" he goes to take off your soaked panties, "Wow." He said, as he removed the white panties , strings of your juices followed it. "I dont think i can tease you any longer, i need you now." He says with a needy tone, flipping you over to all fours.

He took off his black tie and tied your wrists together, making sure its knotted but not tight.

You heard his pants unbuckle and jangle, and his pants drop to the floor, you sat there with anticipation but also with slight fear.

"I was thinking of you at the meeting." He started, "Not an innocent kind of thinking either." ,"When you called me sir it did something to me." He bit his lip, then eagerly slid into you. His thick cock becoming covered in your juices. You both let out a small gasp.

"So i want you to call me sir again." He says pulling you hair back, looking you directly into the eyes. You obeyed "Yes sir." , he smiled with satisfaction . "Atta girl."

He let go of your hair putting you back into your original position, face down , ass up.

You moaned as he gave you slow-paced yet hard and deep strokes, he watched as you moaned while he teased your g-spot. You began to whimper and whine, wanting more than that. "Please go faster." You moaned into the sheets, "What was that?" He said giving you a obviously super hard stroke as you forgot to call him sir. You let out a soft whine from the pain and quickly corrected yourself "Please go faster..." "..sir."  you say in a soft yet sexy tone.

"Alright baby."," Brace yourself." He said before beginning to pound your little cunt,  you were surprised at how fast he was going that you actually started to brace yourself.

You felt so powerless and vulnerable with your hands tied behind your back, the only thing you were able to do was moan and just take his 9 inch cock.  "You were hoping for this werent you, little slut." He talked, "You wanted me to fuck you ever since you got here." he growled "Hm?" he says waiting for your response "Yes sir i did!" You admit, he began digging his dull nails into your hips and bringing you onto his cock harder. "Well you got what you want now fucking take it." He whispered.

"I think im gonna-" You moan, "Oh no your not." He says flipping you onto your back. He began taking off the tie, enabling you to move again.

"This is gonna be deep." He moaned.

You watched as he began towering himself over you, grasping onto the headboard for better balance and stability. "You can stop when you cant take it anymore." he re-affirmed, "Just keep your legs open for me is all i need in return."you were  pretty terrified, but in the best way possible.

He slowly slid his dick back into your cunt, giving a slow pity fuck, to start. "Thats it?" You thought to yourself, expecting something rougher.

But you spoke to soon, you watched as his grip on the headboard tightened and he started to prop himself up. He started to vigorously fuck you, moving his hips back and forth in an inhuman pace. You felt like a little flesh light the way he was using you.

You'd grip onto his waist to keep from cumming to fast, "Don't be scared to leave a mark." He moaned, you obeyed and started to dig your nails into his muscular back leaving scratches, he moaned in pain yet pleasure.

You struggled to keep your legs open, it felt so good that you could hardly even keep quiet.  He had to aggressively force your legs back open. He let go of the head board, starting to kiss you and your neck as he desperately fucked himself into your tight and throbbing hole.

"Why dont we play with this thing hm?" He whispers as he reached a hand down to occupy your swollen clit. "Be a good girl and cum for me" He smiles upon you, "You can do it, cum." He asks again.

He spat onto your cunt and swirled his thumb around your clit, he bit his lip as he felt it throb and your legs shake, "Oh so sensitive." He cooed.

You started to feel that tinkling sensation again, and felt it quickly override your whole body before it exploded. He watched as your eyes rolled back, "Thats it!" He'd smile as you squirted onto his chest, making an absolute mess everywhere..

"Alright my turn." He says gripping onto your hips, making your lower body lift up, and pounding himself into your hole. Like you were a toy. You watched from below as he ferociously used your cunt, extremely needy to cum. He loved how tight you got after your climax and couldn't hold on any longer.

"Fuck im gonna-" He moans subby, "Shit-" he says again, stroking himself into you one more time before letting out a warm load into you. "Fuck-" He moaned again, falling onto you. Doing one more stroke to make sure your filled up with his juices.

"You did such a good job for me baby." He kissed your cheek, "Thank you sir.", he lifted back up to inspect the headboard. "Shit.", He smacked his teeth, "This always happens." , "What does?" You asked. "I put a dent in the headboard when i gripped it." ,"What am i gonna tell them this time." , " That i was fucking my sons babysitter and got out of hand?" , "They'd call cps on me." He joked, you both let out a laugh.

You yawned exhausted, "Im so proud of you for taking me with no complaints." He places another kiss on your forehead. "No problem." You respond.

"Now go pee." He giggles, reminding you before you drift off to sleep.

~~~

(edited)

[horrorslashergirl]

Frisky February Day 22

I just love shopping days! Specially when it is with Jesse Cromeans. For Frisky February Day 22 @slashthedice

Day 22 (Collar/Leash) with Chromeskull

It was another one of these days where you decided to have breakfast in town with Jesse and enjoy a nice sunny day; but of course as you both finished the meal and smoked a cigarette while finishing your coffee he decided to persuade you into a shopping day.

"Jesseeeee...We did that last week." you groaned, taking a sip of your coffee.

"So? You hadn't been to this mall yet and they got some trademarks clothing lines that I'm sure you're gonna love." he signed, winking at you.

"Alright! Fine, fine....You cheeky bastard." you muttered as you took a drag of smoke, rolling your eyes.

"Love you too." he signed, kissing your forehead as you pouted.

It always was like this, Jesse wanted something; first, you say no, then he acts like a brat and you give in.

You couldn't stay made to this man, ever since you meet him your life just got so much interesting. He spoiled you rotten; talk about Louboutin shoes, Gucci bags, Chanel perfumes, and fine jewelry.

At first, you felt like you were using him and tried to decline only for Jesse to trap you against his office desk, looking hard into your eye then signing slowly like he wanted his unspoken words to remain scarred into your brain.

'You're mine and I take care of what is mine, understood? I don't care how much it costs. Money is no issue.'

From then on you began to be more relaxed and went along the wave with Jesse. He always loved to see you play dress up and get dolled up; it was like he got off on this kind of thing.

In the first three hours, you went almost half the mall and you were already full of bags with clothes, accessories and all kinds of feminine things.

"Jesse...I'm tired...Can we go home?" you asked, huffing as your legs were shaking from all the workout.

Jesse was ready to agree with your tiered self when his brown eye caught on to something. You raised an eyebrow and your eyes averted to where your lover was looking.

As soon as you saw, your eyes widened and you looked back at Jesse who had a smirk on his face.

"Oh no..."

Oh yes...

He didn't let you say anything, taking your hand and dragging you into the sex shop, the decor making you shiver as your eyes took in all the toys and accessories littering the shelves and walls of the red and black store.

"This is so awkward..." you muttered as Jesse acted like a kid in a toy store; which is kind of filled 50% of the scenario.

You knew Jesse had some particular tastes when it came to bedroom activities and vanilla wasn't exactly his style.

At first you were kind of shy and reserved, but as he introduced you more and more into this darker side of the bedroom you became more and more uninhibited.

You learned that Jesse was an exhibitionist, so there was no surprise that he had fucked you senseless in the changing room, or into his luxury cars, or in his office as Spann walked in on you two only for Jesse to fuck you harder into the desk.

Now you were crossing your arms over your chest as you waited for Jesse to get his gaze feed with the imagination this store provided for your bald boyfriend.

Another 5 minutes and you were gonna go and drag him out the store with force. Luckily he came back, but unlucky for you with something.

It was a black collar with sparkling diamonds and a silver ring in the middle front.

"What are you doing with that?" you asked as you took a step back. Knowing what imagination this mute man had you hoped it wasn't something humiliating.

He just walked towards you and before you could punch the living daylights out of him he had strapped your collar around your neck, making you blush furiously in embarrassment.

The price tag said 60.000$ making you look at Jesse like he was the craziest man alive, which he kind of was even without his bloody....hobbies.

He just shrugged his shoulders, smirking down at you.

"Best gift for my pet." he signed and you punched his chest.

"I'm not a dog!" you snarled, making Jesse laugh silently, then he caught your chin between his thumb and index finger, sexually stroking your jawline.

He pulled away and signed. 'Of course not, dollface...I think of you as a cute kitten I like to pet on my lap.'

You were probably scarlet red from his silent speech. You didn't even had a chance to scold him or give him a piece of your mind as he walked to the counter, taking out his leather wallet and pulling out his golden card to pay. Arrogant bastard.

As both of you walked out the shop an into the corridors of the mall, everyone looked at the two of you, whispering and muttering.

"Damn! What a hot sugar baby."

"Lucky man he's got such a piece of candy."

"Kinky couple...Love the collar."

As you exited the mall, your face was as red as the blood and you were breathing heavily.

Jesse had a smug smirk on his face and his index finger curled around the ring of your collar tugging you like a pet, making the people outside look at you two, their words so indecent, making you stumble over your steps. He let go of you as you reached his black Bently.

"Sorry doll. I couldn't resist....The truth is that it gets me hard thinking about me been your Sugar Daddy." he signed, making you bury your red face into his chest, muttering curses at him.

"You are such an asshole." you whispered as you glared up at him.

"You won't say that when we get home and I'm gonna fuck you senseless into the hood of the Ferrari." he signed and got into the driver's seat, waiting for you to get in.

Stepping inside you wanted to give him a comeback only for Jesse to pull you into a bruising rough kiss, all tongue, and teeth, leaving you breathless as he started the engine, leaving the parking lot.

[fortheheavenssake]

💟💟 PG MM Anon(II) 💟💟 Interpretation Collection -12

74. July 29

Kids I want to let you know this riddle is not as funny as some of the other ones because a subject matter is just so serious💜😊PG😊💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… colourful Cam !!…………… Fast Far-raar-ri blast. …………” let your daughter breathe “…………… A niece wedding …………… Inappropriate funds??………… Bush tragedy ……………… inappropriately shamed royal ………… a pricey disinfect ………… “ you’re a spot on gun Man Sydney!!”………… “ a privilege sir” ……… “ how’s the shoulder?” ……… “ I’ll recover sir “……… “ it’s stopped bleeding “ ……… “ just a flesh wound sir “ ……… “ next week Sydney? ……… “ I hear the Gillie comes highly recommend sir”……… “Ahh, spiffing!! “

Entertainment purposes

💜💜💜💜😂😂🤣🤣🤣Thank you MM Anon🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜. Just so you know I put the laughing faces in there because of the the vignettes with the Prince Philip and Sydney are just hilarious!

July 29/2020

Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer wed this day in 1981 at St. Paul’s Cathedral. I was like 13 or 14 or so and remember it like yesterday!!

Riddle #74

colourful Cam !!……………

OK I looked and looked and looked and I’m looking at this and I could colourful is self-explanatory cam I’m pretty sure means Cambridge and two!‘s so that usually means to people who stuck stuck nothing I can find fits this. I’m gonna leave it for now and come back.

I don’t think MM Anon is meaning colourful in the term of red white blue green purple orange etc. . I think she means colourful as in telling a funny story you know that is all that’s a colourful story and funny all that kind of thing.Prince William revealed how he made his bodyguard pose as a sniper to scare off a rival football player when he was a schoolboy because ‘everyone wanted to break my legs’.

The Duke of Cambridge, then Prince William, asked his a RPO, to shine a laser’s red dot at the boy pretending to be a sniper. He told this colourful story revelation on an episode of the BBC Radio Five Live’s That Peter Crouch Podcast. The future king’s candid comments came as he shared embarrassing stories over a pint. During the chat at Kensington Palace, they had a curry delivered. I think I wanna find this podcast because I think it probably was absolutely hilarious. Imagine a young boy sneaking over that ha ha Ha ha ha that’s awesome! Good on you William good on you!

Fast Far-raar-ri blast. …………”

We’re talking about a Ferrari hear the Italian car. This kids is again another example of how frightening fake things can be seen as real we see it on Instagram we see CGI and almost every movie that people actors don’t even have to act anymore it’s it’s all fake everything is fake now. Except us we are all real! There is a video that fooled and tricked aka lied to millions. The viral footage of a Ferrari driver ‘escaping from police by driving underneath a truck’ was fake says its creator. He revealed how he did it. The Original video was posted online last Friday and gained 3.1million views. It showed a Ferrari F430 escaping from police car by driving through gap between truck’s wheels. Graphics artist Dionisis Sakas demonstrated in new video how he made footage.He used CGI, a computer-generated image of a Ferrari, truck and police car over bus dashcam footage of road. DISGUSTING! Get a job, volunteer , do something useful in this world instead of spreading more lies like this, that’s sick!

“ let your daughter breathe “……………

This is a sugar is bringing race into it! Black Lives Matter!Both Eric Garner, several years ago in NYC and George Floyd were saying l can’t breathe l can’t breathe lcan’t breathe as a police officer had his knees on his neck! They are equating that incident with what’s going on here! That my friends is a level of mentality we are dealing with! The level of insanity that the sugars possess! I am convinced that when things happen in handcuffs involved charges are laid whatever is going to happen they will be having some sort of physical manifestation, they Well riots gather together range on Twitter for meetings throw stones who knows what it every British Embassy in the United States. I say that because she’s American and I do believe most of the sugars are although she has them all over the world. This is very very very serious verbiage! Wow I am shocked and I don’t get shocked easily wow wow is all I can say! Leave Madam alone! Duchess’s fans aka sugars, rage as dad Thomas Markle hits out ‘Let your daughter breathe’! Well we need a time that since Madame and I’ve been going crazy on her PR we knew it was just a matter time before daddy market would march into the rescue or not to the rescue this time this time is criticizing! I finally caught up on my sleep so let’s give me a minute here to backtrack the daily mail reported that this is now Wednesday morning Monday Monday they reported done he had been interviewed I think on good morning Britain or something there was an article about him anyways criticizing the book and attack criticizing that they were attacking the royal family etc. etc. etc. etc. Madam’s fans/ SUGARS took to Twitter to shield the Madam, from her father’s latest attack. Her estranged father, who lives in Rosarito, Mexico, spoke to the press in the wake of new revelations about the dramatic events leading up to the gathering of unhappy people in May 2018. My my my my my what are those sugars gonna do when it hits the fan and things are really come out and charge to start to come then I’ll my goodness. All these young women what are they gonna do join antifa and form their own gang and try and destroy British Embassy is around the United States or wherever they all live I would imagine most of them live in the United States because she’s American but she probably has sugar is all over the world oh it’s going to be an interesting interesting interesting slideshow to continue to watch that slideshow side show not slide shows sideshow there you go where are you got a good job software good job good job software! Oh you’re typing your compliment twice well good for you you’ve been working hard I’m putting you to the test yes I am talking to my iPad because I think it’s a little sensitive because if I get if it doesn’t like what I’m saying it’ll beep and stop working so I’m whispering as quietly hopefully it doesn’t hear me because I don’t want to hurt it’s sensitive feelings!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂

A niece wedding ……………

How marvellous oh the three Spencer girls oh they’re so beautiful remember them at William and Catherine’s wedding oh they’re so beautiful all. So lady Amelia and lady allies are twins but their paternal twins they don’t look like they’re not identical twins at all but they’re both gorgeous. And all three of these girls and their brother grew up in South Africa. And lady Amelia has been attending Cape Town University where she met her beau, Who she met at the University,Greg Mallet, an estate agent, who is equally well-connected and wealthy. They’ve been together for 10 years and he finally proposed and the picture I have seen are beautiful. She has gorgeous looks kind of like an oval but I think I I think it might be a circle diamond and looks to be surrounded by hail or smaller diamonds it looks beautiful but I’m hoping to see a really clear picture of it that’s why I have not really seen one. Congratulations to them. 🥂

inappropriate

Some people crochet, some people knit,some people do scrapbooking, some people garden,some people take music lessons,there’s all kinds of hobbies in this world! However I have never heard of one quite like this and words fail me.😁DM slightly edited by moi😁 GM allegedly took photos of topless young girls as a ‘hobby’, shocking unearthed court documents reveal. The 58-year-old kept them in a photo album at pedophile JE’s Florida mansion, his former butler Juan Alessi claimed.A judge last week ordered the unsealing of documents related to M and E from a defamation case brought by victim VRG in 2015. The documents could include details about GM’s sex life and among the original files unsealed in 2018 was the eye witness account of Alessi. Alessi told VRG’s lawyers in a sworn deposition that GM had an album full of photos of young girls, including some who were topless. GM shared her alleged hobby for nude 'art’ with JE who had photos of naked girls and women - including GM- plastered all over his mansion.Alessi also claimed in his deposition that he discovered sex toys including,😮😮😮😮😮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮l edited, in the massage room of JE’s Palm Beach mansion. The then-maintenance man also claims he saw a 'shiny black costume’ in GM’s closet that he believed was used for sex. Was he the butler the maintenance man those are two diametrically opposed positions, I don’t understand. What was he doing in her closet if you do the maintenance man? People are all I feel like I need to be sprayed down disinfected maybe this is the price he disinfect clue disinfect oh gross!DM😁additions and slightly edited by moi.

funds??…………

The pressure grows on millionaire farmer Ben Goldsmith, as it emerges he benefited from £25,000 in EU subsidies last year! Ben Goldsmith, brother of environment minister Zac, claimed £25k in EU cash.The 39-year-old millionaire farmer is also a non-executive director of Defra.He has been accused of releasing red deer and wild boar on his land in Somerset.The release of such animals is contrary to current Defra rules and regulations. You know kids, it seems that at every level they’re playing the game! Money changing hands over fist, forget morals,forget ethics, forget everything and anything, just money money money money money makes me think of that song I think it’s by Dire Straits money money money oh!

There is also the bigger issue the money from the Sussex fund and all of that missing money allegedly that a certain Madam may have had now spent or had possession of. I’m not gonna go into that because I don’t think that’s the clue right now.

Bush tragedy ………………

I can hardly cope, l can’t imagine how her parents are managing and her family. I don’t know, I’ve been I prayed for this little girl since the day she went missing she would be found alive. Madeleine McCann investigators resume digging at German allotment patch owned by chief suspect Christian Brueckner as his apartment just three miles away is revealed. And if you look where they’re digging if you see the pictures there’s trees all around so at least in Canada we would call that the bush. Investigators have begun their second day of searching an allotment in Germany three miles from an apartment where suspect Christian Brueckner once lived. Up to 100 officers using small diggers and sniffer dogs continued to excavate the vegetable garden outside Hannover, where Brueckner lived after the three-year-old vanished in 2007.A tent has been erected on the plot concealing the exact nature of the search, and a wide cordon with wire netting has set been up around the allotment.Two small tents have been set up in a field opposite the main dig site, while a fleet of German police vehicles lined the side of the small country road while commuter traffic drove past.An apartment block in Hannover has been identified as Brueckner’s last known address in the city, and German media says he may have lived on the allotment itself - possibly in his trailer.Detectives have been bagging up pieces of evidence and yesterday discovered a cellar underneath a long-demolished gazebo as they scour for clues that could link Brueckner to Madeleine’s disappearance. If you’re so inclined please say a prayer for this family but they finally get some answers and that they find little Madeleine so they can bring her home.🥺🥺🥺🥺🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

inappropriately shamed royal …………

CARAS, some places I’ve read say it’s a Spanish magazine some have said Portuguese either way that’s the name of the magazine. CARAS comes under fire for calling Queen Maxima’s daughter and heir to the Dutch throne , Princess Amalia, 16, as 'plus-size’ on its front cover as critics claim it’s 'dangerous’ and 'disrespectful’! I have said to you kids before, this is the last thing that it’s OK to make fun of people who are overweight and I know personal experience!! It just, it it never ends ,whether iit’s in school whether to University, no matter how beautiful you are , a high functioning and intelligent and whatever, it’s it’s still OK to do mock overweight people!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬And it goes to stop so far as to people getting hired for jobs or not etc. etc. etc. it’s all it’s so disgusting! She is a beautiful girl oh man what is it gonna do to her psyche she’s 16 oh 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻hell me!The trashy gossip magazine Caras has been slammed by Argentine media outlets. Princess Catharina-Amalia and Queen Maxima were chosen for mag’s July cover.The magazine described the teenage heir to the Dutch throne as 'plus-size’ woman! She is 16 she is a young lady she is not a woman! Subsequently I do believe they have issued an apology an apology but the damage is done the damage is done it’s an in with the damage is done there’s no undoing this absolutely know I’m doing this for her personally! My heart just aches for her she is so beautiful so beautiful oh my heart just aches for that girl oh my! Kids think back to when you were 16 so insecure and so you know trying to fit in and all that other garbage. Do you think high school the most important thing in the world. And she’s going to be the Queen she is going to be the Queen! Oh man my heart aches for her.☹️☹️☹️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜 I am sending lots of love and prayers to Princess Amalia !

a pricey disinfect …………

The first thing that came into my mind when I read this with the money that her Majesty offered Madam to leave before The gathering of unhappy people. This is my gut and this is what I’m going to go with. This may not be the correct answer that you were looking for MM Anon but it is what I feel applies most importantly here. This fight has been in the works for years and years at the highest level on the planet, funded by the highest level on the planet. It has been a plot to take down 1000 year old monarchy and totally destroy the country that voted to exit the EU! Brexit would’ve brought about a whole bunch of changes and it will yet hopefully. And her Majesty the Queen is God’s representative on the throne she’s been holy ordained. She is the head of the church of England. I truly believe that there is a worldwide organization of people who serve the dark master. If one believes in God one has to believe in Satan there’s no one with the old the other there’s good and there’s bad. There are many many many who serve the Darkside in the evil of the ways. That is what we have been watching. I firmly believe the first line attack was through JE towards prince Andrew. Prince Andrew was naïve in in a sense of being a royal very much detachment from the ordinary person. There’s no way he could have ever imagined or fortold that anything like this would happen. I do not believe he has any interest in young girls. Does he have a healthy sexual appetite did he absolutely he was a young healthy fit handsome man yes of course, what was going to judge him for that? Do you honestly can’t believe that he and Sarah his wife could’ve raised to such sound wonderful young women as the princess Beatrice and princess Eugenie without being sound themselves? I believe this started in earnest at that point and they had no success. So they had to continue and plot to find a way in and there was Prince Harry, lost in an emotional wasteland trying to find some direction is life after leaving the military. That’s begin the process of finding a female willing to do the deeds, the first one they found changed her mind. But then as evil does, it finds its perfect mate and that was Madam and the whole collection of “family” that she has. A group of cons and grifters at their finest or worst however you look at it. She is a female who’s willing to do anything and everything and has done anything and everything! FOR MONEY! She is narcissistic to the point of pathology. Please I’ve read a few people say she has schizophrenia or is “schizophrenic”. I have worked with dozens and dozens of people with schizophrenia, they do not possess narcissistic traits. Most of them are shy and embarrassed of their symptoms and most of them are young men who who just develop it in their early teens are in their 20s. I am not saying that women don’t develop schizophrenia they certainly do. But the majority of people that I worked with have developed our young men that have developed it in their late teens and 20s often as a result of the use of marijuana a lot of marijuana. They use marijuana to quiet the voices in their head. And it does work for some of them they say it does help. People with schizophrenia do not behave like this they’re thinking is disorganized, they live in an alternate reality even though they can often quite communicate or are mute. They are not capable of being this way and this plot to this degree. I’m not saying they’re not capable, they can be employed and they’re wonderful people just like anybody else with diabetes or whatever. I truly wish that that Stigma and that those thoughts about schizophrenia would change. I really encourage you, if you if your care, if you care, just to do a little bit of reading even though Wikipedia reading of what schizophrenia is it’ll help you understand what millions of people struggle with on a daily basis. Back to Madam psychiatric diagnosis would be Axis ll narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. I do also believe she possesses some Axis lll issues as well, by this time referring to her variety of

hobbies be there a liquid or powder or any of the above. So we have gone through years now of the monarchy being dragged through this sea hags filth and worse yet our beloved prince Harry, through a young man’s foolish to date on a booty call, which I mean let’s face that millions of people do every day even famous people do every day. And the plans, she was, she was ready to the point where she was wearing Diana‘s favourite perfume. Olfactory memory is the strongest memory humans possess. It is so powerful it triggers so much emotion. So when he walked in and sat down at the table to have a drink with her and smelled her perfume just imagine the flood of endorphins and things that he may not even have been consciously aware of that were triggered and his brain just imagine just sit yourself down there and imagine. And then as things progressed you know the story. And the filth has permeated the planet, it has permeated race relations, it has permeated in the resulting or sugars it has permeated in the Black Lives Matter fascist group That is being well funded by the people that plotted, the backers. They have just been laying in wait waiting for the right moment. Do you think all these people just happen to gather together and had weapons and stuff just at the drop of a hat?How would they know to go where to go, what to do, where to meet? Cities are huge and yet they all seem to go on the in the exact same area. Do you think that’s a coincidence? Do you think that’s a coincidence that it’s happening all over the United States and all over the UK and all over the world in different places? Do you think that’s OK? Do you think that’s a coincidence? I myself do not believe in coincidences. Go back to your high school or university physics Newtons law of physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Nothing happens by coincidence, everything we do whether it’s in thought act or deed that is put out into the universe it affects something somebody or somehow. This was all planned. Her Majesty the Queen was wise enough to know this, as well as British intelligence, to be monitoring all these things to let her know and the government know. She was wise enough to call Lord Geidt back into service. Thank God he was agreeable! He immediately, I am certain recognized the severity of what the situation was. They have planned and they have played the long game, all while keeping calm and carrying on and looking beautiful. And due to the scale the Crown never fails! And what we see now are the results of them playing the long game. Madam imploding upon herself due to her own behaviour and her own narcissism. I do believe we’re near the end I do believe any day now as I said yesterday imminently, we will receive some announcement of some sort. Her Majesty is safely ensconced at Balmoral for three months usually her usual 12 weeks. I’m sure more security than she’s ever had there before and there’s more security around all the royal family members that we’ve ever ever had before. We will never see that security. We will never notice them. They are that good. They could be the seventy year old lady on the street, still able to be just as dangerous as any criminal. We are coming to a close Madam,is all that done. And the backers?? I’m not sure where things are at, but London scoop said this will involve the world but mostly the UK the United States and Australia. The United States is on fire with these antifa riots. The democratic cities mayors and governors of certain states are refusing to take action I’m naming Oregon and Washington in particular I feel so sorry for those people who have businesses and who live in those areas that are being rioted night after night after night especially in Portland I’m thinking of Portland Oregon. There’s a presidential election in November this year. One would never know it usually all you see on the news are debates and candidates and all that. But we’re not seeing that we’re seeing coronavirus and riots. And what I’ve seen of the democratic nominee, and the party as a whole has

me very very concerned. He has yet, I don’t think he has had a press conference.? I am not aware and when I have seen is a gentleman who is quite elderly who oh, I don’t want to insult anybody who is democratic here,but who is buying into these far left wing fascist agenda who seems to at times doesn’t know what city he’s in. And there was a video that I saw he was standing with a few couples who were with their children and I don’t know what awards he was giving out, but he was massaging the shoulders and pulled her close to him tightly with his arm around her, little girl next to him and you could could Around her shoulders and you could see the look on her face that she was so uncomfortable and she tried to pull closer to her parents who were holding another child and he pulled her back in. I’m telling you I don’t know where that was taken but it was so, it was so hard for me to watch, oh you know something I said I pray for that little girl I pray for that child. I’m not saying he’s he’s a paedophile anything don’t get me wrong but I’m just talking about boundaries just boundaries. Anyhow say what you will about President Trump many people do regularly! I’m gonna get myself in trouble here but I do believeI do believe if he does not win the reelection I fear the collapse of the United States. I don’t know how they’re even going to be able to have an election in the midst of this coronavirus, how do you know how long the quested are to vote to take their long long long long. Oh kids this is the expensive disinfecting and we all are paying a price and continue to and will continue to.

“ you’re a spot on gun Man Sydney!!”………… “ a privilege sir” ……… “ how’s the shoulder?” ……… “ I’ll recover sir “……… “ it’s stopped bleeding “ ……… “ just a flesh wound sir “ ……… “ next week Sydney? ……… “ I hear the Gillie comes highly recommend sir”……… “Ahh, spiffing!! “

Well we return to the beautiful vista that is Balmoral castle and it’s I will be 15,000acres acres in beautiful at the Aberdeenshire. I spent my share of time not at Balmoral but in Aberdeen Aberdeen sure all the first the Firth of Forth!! Oh my it’s so beautiful I’ve taken so many pictures and hanging on my living room wall I have a black-and-white photo l took, I think it’s like 11 x 18 or something it’s so beautiful oh so beautiful the river there’s a bridge going over the river and the time I took the picture was an autumn so the leaves were all so gorgeous oh man it’s so beautiful. One of the first things that hit me the very first time I tasted tapwater in Scotland and I happen to be in her and I are just outside Aberdeen where I was staying with my friends and I have never had water that taste is so beautiful it was pure it was cold it was fresh it was free from chemicals no chlorine Teays know anything and there was no water filter on the top of their they did not have a reverse osmosis filter like everybody here has now it was so good oh and I just kept remarking on and everybody kept laughing at me how good the water was. Then we went out for lunch at all man I stupid Canadiana CanadianaWe are ordering lunch and came to my turn to order lunch should I order lunch and I want to more of that water and she looked at me and she said would you like flat or still and I I just like what what and I looked at my restaurant we want to find especially that I had came there to see and he was like she’ll have still ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. And then after I said what what is that and he says oh Blondie never mind ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha I’ll never forget that oh man that was so funny. anyhow back to Balmoral, sounds like the hunting trip had a bit of a Dick Cheney moment. If you don’t know who took Dick Cheney, he was an American politician and he accidentally shot another politician that he was hunting with a severe it was this it wasn’t severe but all man oh man. so himself is complementing Sydney on how well he is spotting him with the gun and making sure it’s ready and loaded and everything and just what a successful hunting day they had. And Sydney ever the dutiful a butler said yes he concurs it was just just smashing and then himself ask him how his shoulder is and he’s ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can’t continue ha ha ha ha still funny way too funny ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.I shall continue I can come compose myself myself and continue. Himself ask Sydney how his shoulder is Sydney says it all recover all recover sir I am I shall recover, it stopped bleeding it stop bleeding and I shall recover in just a flesh room so just just a flesh room can you not hear the accent so can you hear the accent just a flesh wound sir! Capital , Sydney, Capital! Then planning for next weeks outing, Himself asks Sydney, are you ready for next weeks outing and he replies oh yes sir , I hear the Gilly comes high they recommended sir. Himself says sniffing smashing , wonderful , marvellous , looking forward to it and Sydney is just shivering in this boots. MM Anon, you have no idea how I can picture these things in my head and I was just all man’s took me forever to do because I was laughing so hard!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

—————-

75. July 29

MM ANON………… Peter,Crouch with William ………… 🎼Son in Law🎼…………Facebook , Apple, google …………… 5 friends , Shhhhhh !!!……………… very upset islands………… MM is leaking 🤣🤣………… Refund , Shmeefund.…………Heath-row row!!……… “Why is ones arm in a sling Sydney ??…………… “ I slipped exiting the LR ma’am………” where was Philip ?………… “ sitting in the back ma’am”……” hello old thing, what’ho Sydney “ ……… good afternoon sir”……” Sydney had a hiatus Philip “……… “ O dear, looks sore Sydney “ ……” yes sir”…… “VERY!!”

Entertainment purposes

💜💜💜💜😊😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈🌈Thank you MM Anon🌈🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊💜💜💜💜

July 29/2020. Riddle#75

Peter,Crouch with William …………

Peter Crouch has a podcast on the BBC. Yesterday Prince William was on there with him and some other chaps I can’t remember their names. The purpose was Williams continuing goal to bring awareness to the issues regarding mental health. They had a good talk over a pint and they ordered some curry. The topic of mental health continues to be of importance however there were some very very funny stories that came out of the meeting. One was a prince William gave Catherine, remember they were not married yet they were still dating, he gave her a set of binoculars oh dear for a gift one time. The funniest story he told that when he was young and the other boys were picking on him and one especially wanted to break his legs and kept threatening to. William got the idea to get his RPO to take a laser and shine it on the guys forehead so there would be a red dot 🔴 on his forehead and William told him that there was a sniper if you did anything bad.🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂 Can you kids just imagine oh man I’ve laughed so hard about that and I’m still laughing I’m still laughing!

🎼Son in Law🎼…………

I thank the website beyondthejoke.co.uk for this information. It was very hard to find,very very hard but I am like Inspector gadget or the RCMP we always get our man and I always get some sort of answer for each clue. They’re not always right but they’re often funny if they’re wrong ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha by the way it’s on the way it’s a win-win situation right it’s a win-win plus it’s free! I should be charging you kids me and Eminem MM Anon and could make a fortune not Eminem no no no.A new video depicting Donald Trump performing a song in praise of his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, is today revealed as being the work of The Simpsons and Spinal Tap star Harry Shearer. Son in Law is the first track to be released from Shearer’s forthcoming album, The Many Moods of Donald Trump, a cycle of satirical songs inspired by the last four years of US politics and in particular the often mercurial behaviour of the current occupant of The White House.The video of the track uses ground-breaking motion-capture animation to portray the US President lionizing his senior advisor and husband of his daughter Ivanka. At one point it shows the spookily real Trump with his hand casually hovering over the nuclear button on his desk in The Oval Office, whilst extolling the virtues of his daughter’s curves.Harry Shearer says, “You can’t fire family, but you can sing about them.”Written by Shearer, the old-style New Orleans R&B song has The Simpsons star on vocals in an eerily accurate impersonation of the President of The United States. He is joined by a band of top New Orleans musicians who include David Torkanowsky of The Astral Project and Stanton Moore Trio on piano and organ, The Metres star George Porter, Jr. on bass, Raymond Weber of Dumpstaphunk on drums, leading saxophonist Brad Walker, Scott Frock of Delfeayo Marsalis’ Uptown Jazz Orchestra, on trumpet, and one of New Orleans’ top trombonists Jon Ramm. The track is mixed by long-time Harry Shearer musical collaborator C J Vanston at The Treehouse North Hollywood and produced by David Torkanowsky. It was recorded in New Orleans and Los Angeles. I will provide the link if you are so inclined to take a peek. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtptN8bfl3M

Some of you may find it offensive and some of you may get a good laugh out of it and a bit of both. I will leave it up to you to decide. I lasted about 30 seconds and that was enough for me. I’m not trying to influence you in anyway you you do you kids you do you as the kids say now!

Facebook , Apple, google ……………

The U.S. Congress is to grill Bezos, Cook, Zuckerberg, and Pichai: CEOs of Amazon, Google, Apple and Facebook whose firms are worth a combined $5.5trillion agree to appear TOGETHER before House antitrust panel!Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Tim Cook and Sundar Pichai will testify in late July. They will appear before House Judiciary Committee’s antitrust panel.FYI😁Antitrust refers to relating to legislation preventing or controlling trusts or other monopolies, with the intention of promoting competition in business.FYI😁The panel has been investigating tech firms’ alleged anti-competitive practices.Amazon, Facebook, Apple, and Google are accused of stifling competition. Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, was initially reluctant to testify before lawmakers.Lawmakers reportedly threatened Bezos, world’s richest man, with subpoena.Apple CEO Cook, was also hesitant, prompting lawmakers to consider subpoena.But they eventually relented on condition that all four CEOs appear jointly. Well isn’t that special! It’s like a meeting of the three heads of the biggest mafia families, sorry no insult meant to the mafia. Have you ever seen Mark Zuckerberg testify? Have you ever seen Star Trek the next generation? There’s a character on there his name is Data, he’s an android but he’s very human. Every time I see Mark Zuckerberg, I see Data, pardon the pun aka data🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Last time he testified there was no affect on his face and he gave, he must be related to Madam,because all he gave us a bunch of word salad nonsense that made no sense. It was far above the technical level of any of the people asking questions. This time I hope they have people who have done their research who actually know about these industries to actually ask the important questions!

5 friends , Shhhhhh !!!………………

Oh Madam’s legal team were in court today, ahead of court tomorrow. They put in a what’s it called….. It is not the deposition I mean use the word request until I can find the proper legal word. 😁FOUND IT😁Her legal team applied for an order to keep the identities of the 5 women confidential and not name them publicly. Funniest thing a member of her legal team said the last name of one of the women in court! Imagine that they’re wanting something kept quiet and the attorney cannot even keep quiet wowza, I wouldn’t want that attorney! The judge instructed that that name be removed from the record. Basically what they did is they want the court to keep schtüm and not publicly reveal the names of the “” five friends” who spoke to people magazine about Madam. Madam has denied having given permission or even having any for knowledge about this issue. Court will be interesting tomorrow I can hardly wait wait! Given her success and I’m using that very sarcastically, with the book that she allegedly had no part in, but everything came from her mouth, and should be very very very interesting and that’s putting it mildly!I just took a wee wander over to the daily mail and there’s a new article they’re saying that she has lost a part of the bed and she has to pay £67,000 in AND legal bills ha ha Ha ha ha I think that’s hilarious ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha that’s hilarious hilarious justice hitting her right where it hurts most money her pocketbook awesome!

very upset islands…..

You kids remember the show with Ricardo Montalban called fantasy Island. I remember Ricardo Montalban doing a car commercial and in his accent,he would say, this is made with fine Corinthian leather ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! He also played Kahn in the Star Trek movies, one Captain Kirk yelled Kahn re member that all you Star Trek friend Kahn!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂OK OK I’m gonna do the riddle now pardon me for adding some humour in this!I’m going back in the 80s it’s on one of the cable channels I get I watch it every now and then is so cheesy it is just so beyond the pale of it’s hilarious and at that time we thought it was like the greatest thing I remember the love boat came on and then fantasy Island that was Saturday night TV love boat and then fantasy Island wow what a wild child hood I lived eh?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. Ibiza, Mallorca and Canary Islands’ tourism chiefs have launched desperate bid to open ‘safe air corridors’ with the UK to save their summer seasons after the two-week quarantine was announced. Canary & Balearic Islands officials hoping to establish ‘safe air corridors’ with UK. This comes after the U.K. government ordered British tourists to self-isolate on returning from Spain.Spain has been taken off of the safe travel list after a spike in coronavirus cases.The decision was described as a ‘hammer blow’ by hotel bosses in Benidorm.Town mayor Toni Perez insisted he would still encourage holidaymakers to com.

From the BBC, I shall attempt to say this in my best old fashioned BBC British accent.😁 The UK’s biggest tour operator, Tui, has cancelled all mainland Spanish holidays until 9 August.The move comes after the government imposed a 14-day quarantine on people arriving in the UK from Spain.The firm said all those going to the Balearic and Canary Islands could still travel as planned from Monday.The airline industry has reacted with dismay to the decision to impose the quarantine, calling it a big blow.The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) is advising against all but essential travel to mainland Spain. Quarantine measures apply to those returning from mainland Spain, the Canary Islands and the Balearic Islands, such as Majorca and Ibiza.British Airways is still operating flights, but said the move was “throwing thousands of Britons’ travel plans into chaos”.Budget airline easyJet is also maintaining a full schedule, as is Jet2. That’s all from the BBC for now good night. You can always go to BBC.co.uk with other information!😁😁😁 how did I do did you hear my old fashioned British accent and NOT RECEIVED PRONUNCIATION☺️😁😁😁?Do you think I could work for the BBC in 1950? Can I go on Doctor Who and get him somehow to take me back in time so, but I wasn’t born then yet oh that’s a little spanner in the mix is it not,have to have a think on that.

MM is leaking 🤣🤣…………

MM is leaking. Are you OK MM Anon? Do you have drafty windows and a maybe a hole in the roof and the waters coming in? When it rains?Or maybe you’re just like Madam you just want somebody to ask you are you OK ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! After what you went through last week my goodness was it the week before you are more than OK my friend thank God! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you scroll way on back and you’ll you’ll read all about it!! OK I’ll get serious now this is regarding my least favourite person on the planet Madam, she’s leaking in every way possible she’s bleeding money she’s bleeding whatever was left of her public image and today she got an alarm and I love it she has to pay £67,000 in legal fees for the ANL ha ha ha ha ha ha oh ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha oh God has a funny sense of humour does He not, oh thank you Lord! Her legal team went to court in attempt to stifle the release of the name of the five women who went to people magazine, totally unknown ,unaware she was totally not involved didn’t give approval didn’t know it was gonna happen. Right then, remember the other day I said there was a bridge in the Sahara desert? Well it’s still for sale and anyone who believes that just come on over and I’ll give you a tour and I’ll give you a real good price on that Desert bridge! After all they’re making air bridges now so so what’s wrong with a desert bridge ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.The funniest thing and I said it before but the funniest thing about the whole thing is they’re just wanting to keep that confidential and one of her legal team mentioned the surname of one of the women would one question the competency of the members of her legal team? I think I might I’m not an attorney I’m not even a paralegal like like Madam was on like TV, and like like she thinks like, she’s a paralegal for real like, now and knows all about the UK laws and everything like totally! That was my doing my best California speak every other word is like like this OK like that OK well like that’s cool like like this for like a walk and we can like take the dog and we can like go for coffee and then we can go for like a movie and then we can like maybe rent a movie actually and then we can like go home and like make dinner and like and like and like and like that’s how they speak! Hope I’m not insulting anything maybe that’s just cliché but that’s what I seen on TV it is so annoying. It’s just like people who are constantly using foul language like on the regular,like not like when there’s a serious incident like it’s just it just blows my mind. There are so many words in the English dictionary there’s no need on the regular to be using foul language. I’m not saying I have never uttered some, you want some when I was still driving that when somebody cut me off or whatever I uttered my share but not on the regular never! OK back to the riddle now😁😁😁So the judge ordered that name to be stricken from the record! It’s going to be really really interesting to see what happens in court tomorrow I can hardly wait! I’m like a dog dog, Pavlov‘s dog just celebrating celebrating celebrating oh golly I have got to hand typed that SALIVATING!! If you don’t know about Pavlov‘s dogs just go to google please thank you.

Refund , Shmeefund.…………

What a non-summer it’s been eh? No fairs no carnivals, no music concerts outdoors, no outdoor team sports it’s just been a right off!The ones from the UK that would like you to go on holiday and have a lovely time were shocked to learn that all there’s a snap decision and when you return you have to for quarantine for 14 days! Those people who do have jobs will have to miss 14 days! How this coronavirus it’s just it it’s just it’s like the Friday the 13th movies’ Jason in the mask, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂I didn’t mean a pun by Jason in the mask ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha mask get it?? Bad puns l know but the best ones are the accidental ones like this one! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha sorry I’m laughing and when I’m laughing it types ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh I’m so sorry! But we need a wee bit of humour in this do we not! It just keeps coming and coming and coming and going and accelerating and spreading in affecting in and infecting it is unbelievable! Holidaymakers struggle to get refunds With holidaymakers still owed millions of pounds for cancelled holidays and flights, many will be reluctant to rebook if their trip is cancelled. Some major travel companies are still refusing to issue refunds as required by law, insisting customers rebook their trip or accept vouchers instead. We approached the UK’s 10 biggest package holiday providers and 10 largest airlines at the end of April, and found none were consistently meeting their legal requirements to refund consumers within the statutory timeframe. Companies including TUI, Love Holidays, Virgin Holidays and Ryanair are issuing credit notes for cancelled bookings in the first instance, even when customers have asked for cash refunds. Following months of pressure from Which?, the government has finally confirmed that credit notes issued for air-based packages have the same financial protection as the holidays they replace, so if a travel company collapses, customers will be refunded by the travel industry Atol scheme. However, vouchers issued for scheduled flights booked separately aren’t covered by the Atol scheme and have no financial protection. Clients still have a legal right to a cash refund instead of a credit note or voucher, if that’s their preference. Some customers have resorted to asking their debit or credit card provider to help get their money back, while those still paying deposit instalments on holidays for this summer are wondering what to do.So far the lockdown and stuff since February and March is not bad enough, they finally get a vacation or holiday whatever you want to call it and then they find out they have got to quarantine or they have it booked and the country is on the list of do not travel or the air bridge is closed which has been closing to many countries now they are tickets are invalid! Try getting your money from airlines who are weeping money at this point they are just weeping money it’s just leaking from every nook and cranny.

Heath-row row!!……… “

DM😁Revolt of the airline chiefs: Travel bosses urge Boris Johnson to drop blanket restrictions on whole countries amid row over quarantine.47 companies called on Johnson to introduce virus tests for arrivals to the UK. British Airways, Easy Jet and Jet2 have demanded a more 'nuanced’ policy. Signatories also include chief executives of Heathrow and Gatwick airports.Heathrow blames social-distancing 'chaos’ on holidaymakers arriving too EARLY as passengers complain of 'no staff managing massive queues’. Footage shows people close to one another at airport’s Terminal 2.The Passenger who filmed video questioned: 'Where are your staff managing this?' Other social media users have posted pictures of crowded scenes at Heathrow. Heathrow Airport said it is 'aware’ of passengers arriving several hours in advance of flights.British Airways pulls staff out of its £200million headquarters for six months - as just half of City bankers return to offices.BA joins the likes of Google, KPMG and RBS by keeping staff at home until 2021.Around 22,000 staff are on furlough, with 12,000 workers set for redundancy.Large companies are facing growing calls to bring employees back to the office. Travel chiefs want virus checks for UK arrivals and an end to blanket restrictions on whole countries… so how COULD Britain test its way out of travel trouble? Giving travellers coronavirus tests on arrival could curtail the quarantine period.Heathrow has said the airport could have testing sites ready ‘within weeks’.Scientists say testing people arriving in the UK can help curb the pandemic.DM😁 hey if they wrote it perfectly and I give them the credit I think that’s pretty darn fair right! Anybody who disagrees with me can you raise your hand please nobody raise their hand oh thanks kids I love you! 💜🙏🏻😊PG😊🙏🏻💜

“Why is ones arm in a sling Sydney ??…………… “ I slipped exiting the LR ma’am………” where was Philip ?………… “ sitting in the back ma’am”……” hello old thing, what’ho Sydney “ ……… good afternoon sir”……” Sydney had a hiatus Philip “……… “ O dear, looks sore Sydney “ ……” yes sir”…… “VERY!!”

Well we return to the placid Balmoral Castle in Beautiful Aberdeenshire! Oh every time I say that my heart skips a beat oh I had such special times there. Oh my my heart is so full of 🥰.If l could only tell your kids all of what my experiences there, but alas I cannot because you don’t share that online. Suffice it to say my heart is still there. Now back to our story kids commercials over,🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂Himself and Sydney have returned from a very successful hunt. Not hunch Hunt not hunch Hunt Hunt! Thank you thank you very much! Yes I am talking to my audio software it seems to work better and it’s a little bit sensitive. I’ve said before it doesn’t always want to write the word that I say. Sometimes when it gets really mad at me it beeps and it just shuts off and will not continue. So like I said yesterday sometimes I really have to whisper when I tell you guys things like that because I don’t want it to hear and I don’t want to see it’s feelings to get hurt.I don’t want it to get any more sensitive than it already is so, let’s all stay calm and hope and pray it will behave throughout this riddle!😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣😁😁😁😁 now back to our story!Her Majesty sees Sydney and she enquires,why is your arm in a sling Sydney? And he says oh my I just slipped slipped while I was getting out of the Lone Ranger a.k.a. the range rover. Naturally naturally she inquires where was Himself? And of course he’s been told your Majesty. ma’am,he was safely in the backseat! I think we all know the reason why himself is in the backseat or on the passenger side and not in the driver seat!And then in walks Himself,all proud, like a cock on a walk, as the old saying goes when the rooster struts across the farmyard and try to. impress all the hens or impress the prettiest hen. He would strut his stuff very confidently!Oh hello, saying he says his wife probably gives her a kiss or maybe a wave! Hello Sydney what ho? As if nothing had happened no no there was no no shots that went awry no injuries nothing like that nothing to see here folks nothing nothing at all! Her Majesty says to himself well Sydneys had a bit of a break hiatus. And Sydney greets him a good afternoon sir! Noticing his arm,oh that looks very sore.😆😆🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣 Sydney concurs that very very very veryVERY sore!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂Can you kids imagine what they’ve all gotten up to in the last word 50 or 60 years that he’s been his butler? Oh my goodness this is just too funny I just love this part of the riddle it’s just all I can just visualize it totally!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

——————

76. July 31

MM ANON …… Kate being scilly ……… ……… Borix nails down the caughin ………… roving explorer …………… phew! What a scorcher …………… Lions Arm-y…………… climate is a changing …………… ( get well mr, skippy 🌈) ……………beaches,stay away 😱😱………………Peer- pressure ‘ O brother!! …………… tick tick bite!! ……………”doctor, what’s growing on my arm.” …………… Williams conservs film

Friday July 31/20. Riddle #76

💜💜💜💜😊😊😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈Thank you MM Anon🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊😊💜💜💜💜

July 31/2020 28 years ago this evening, l lost my mum☹️, seems like yesterday. I am so glad and thankful I have my Tumblr community and these riddles that challenge me and give me something to look forward to. I am ever so grateful and in all of your debt for you of all been so kind to me and will welcome me thank you💜🙏🏻😊🙏🏻PG💜🙏🏻😊🙏🏻💜

Kate being scilly ……… ………

Well the Cambridges are on holiday at the Isles of Scilly. I think it’s quite funny because a lot of people online are ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha thinking that is Sicily and that they went to Italy ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Why on earth would they take their family to Italy with Covid oh that’s hilarious LOL anyways. They were seen riding bikes and having just a nice family time.Isn’t it nice that they demonstrate without preaching they just live their life and somehow, somehow they always get it right. Local tourism at its finest and don’t tell me they didn’t have a marvellous time or that they aren’t having a marvellous time. The only thing I wish is that people hadn’t made it public if they could stay private but I guess I mean that is a lot to wish for.

Borix nails down the caughin …………

I believe he use the phrase putting the pedal on the brakes. Shocking lockdown arrangements orders whatever has been passed down. And a great many Muslims are going to celebrate Eid and now things are just thrown I’ll say it again like a spanner in the mix. A coffin for dead people is spelt the way it just appeared. Caughin Chaldean number 6 in numerology. But KOFN is the urban dictionary kind of describes exactly this. I will let you look up what that means and you can decide if you want to or not that’s up to you but I’m i’m not gonna put it here a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! I am certain man is citizens feel exactly the way that that acronym the way that feels. Borix is a tool for editing. However I think it’s just a joking way of saying the name of the tool that is those of you know that’s flying from back in the day when you called somebody was being like a jerk, all that is a real tool! And so I think Borix is referring to Boris Johnson!

roving explorer ……………

Roving means roaming or wandering. not assigned or restricted to any particular location, area, topic, etc.: a roving editor. not assigned to any particular diplomatic post but having a special mission: a roving ambassador. Explorer means a person who explores an unfamiliar area; an adventurer.

I know William and Harry, when they were young, they were taken on holiday to the isles of Scilly. I’m not sure if Catherine has been there.I know that their children definitely haven’t been so this might apply to them as well.

I know that Beatrice and Edo have taken a car trip for their honeymoon there driving all around Frantz. Just you know touring around just like a regular old couple with you are young couple. I don’t know that’s what this is roving then it was the explorers.

phew! What a scorcher ……………

I read it was 31°C in the UK today. And in speaking with a friend the last couple days have been quite warm. But I watch the BBC weather and it says it supposed to cool down a little bit so that’s good but it is the middle of summer right so you want the nice!! The other major scorcher that I am thinking of is the unsealing of documents in the GM case currently before the judge in New York City. I made a PDF And it’s currently sitting in my iBooks waiting for me to read it. Which I will at some point I’m just not in the mood for that today but yeah I will read it. So lots of hot stuff all around lots and lots! If you’re out please remember to use sunscreen and drink a lot of fluid! And don’t forget your for babies they get hot with their fur, kids know that I don’t need to tell you that right right!

Lions Arm-y……………

A tourist had part of his arm ripped off by a lion as he slept in a tent alongside his wife during an exclusive African safari organised by a British travel firm. The snarling beast ripped part of Patrick Fourgeaud’s left arm off during the horrifying mauling in the Ruaha National Park, in Tanzania.His wife, Brigitte Fourgeaud, 63, said: ‘I will never forget that moment when I woke up to see the lion there.‘I thought we were both going to die. The attack will stay with me for the rest of my life.'🥺🥺🥺🥺😮😮😮😮😮😬DM. OK what the heck? This happened in 2015! Why is this news today in the daily mail? What on earth I did that short story? Stories stories stories? Thank you got it! I’m talking to the software, I have truly lost my marbles! A few marbles I did have left rolling around in my head talking to this software and then talking through the software and then talking to the software oh my stars and garters!! This article even has photos which I will not include! sometimes I think they just put things in there just for sensationalize ation you spell sensationalize ation that’s not how you spell it sensationalize ation know that’s not how you spell it let me do it let me do it stop shut off shut off, sensationalization! Hair that’s how you spell it no I didn’t say here I said there that’s how you spell it! Whooooo it is in a mood today kids oh my gosh it’s been like this all day and I hope it doesn’t hear me. I hope it doesn’t hear me because it is very difficult selling very difficult today not selling or selling may be difficult to get spelling spelling has been very difficult today for this software and you know it’s OK tomorrow will be a better day right ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂.Oh I’m trying to give your kids a laugh I hope it’s working!

climate is a changing ……………

I think we’ve all heard about climate change and experienced it hotter summers or for us here is much milder winters with more snow. Talking about with the weather here. I think that she’s talking about the climate in terms of the mill you of how people are relating to one another in the last six months. The COVID-19 lockdown has left a lot of people out of money and with very short fuse is temporary and as we all know the Black Lives Matter movement has been all over the place and antifa has been involved in the UK branch of black live matter is very much a fascist organization. Now with the cancellation of Eid at the last minute and some stupid comments made by some MP that I will repeat his name but he basically said that he believes that it was people in the BAME population who were the most non-compliant with the facemask and all the social distancing. If the pedal on the brakes for the PM was not enough those comments by that MP, Sitting on fire all with Kinley nicely laid out and another piece of the wood that you use that to get with a call to start a fire it’s like pouring fuel on there and then hucking a match in there. You bet the climate do the relationships amongst different people in the world different populations different cultures you that there is changing and they are changing fast and violently. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 let’s pray let us pray really hard that it does not get worse.

( get well mr, skippy 🌈) ……………

There have been so many prayers said for you Mr.🐼. I cannot tell you how pleased I am that you were home and that you are in normal sinus rhythm!! I want to thank you for sharing Skippy 🐼 with me and the whole world! That is a gift unlike any other! I wish you many many many many years of good health!💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

beaches,stay away 😱😱………………😁Me Shark attack in Maine!! It’s a chap on TV right now he’s talking about how they were trying to save certain fish and they changed some of the environment laws which now means a great rise in the Apex predator. And there is no bigger Apex predator except the killer whale then the great white shark! Oh my goodness! He’s saying don’t wear black and don’t go in range of their hunting territory ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha well I think their hunting territory is water so it’s pretty much stay the heck out of the water ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha how brilliant advice from a scientist! Wonder how many years he had to study to learn to stay out of the water when you see great white sharks wow that is brilliant I would’ve never thought of that!! Now we’re back to serious. 😁livescience.commA fatal great white shark attack occurred in Maine on Monday (July 27) was only the state’s second recorded shark attack ever. But white sharks have long been in the waters of the Gulf of Maine. The second was this Monday’s attack, with a far more tragic outcome. Julie Dimperio Holowach, 63, of New York City, was swimming with her daughter when she was attacked and killed. A tooth fragment left behind indicated that the attacker was a great white shark.It’s likely that the shark mistook Holowach, who was wearing a wetsuit, for a seal, said Bob Hueter, a senior scientist at Mote Marine Laboratory and also chief scientist for the marine research organization OCEARCH. Seals are common along the coastline of the Gulf of Maine, he told Live Science.😁

😁HURRICANE CENTRAL.Hurricane Warning Issued for Florida As Isaias Spins in the Bahamas; Weekend of Strong Winds, Heavy Rain For SE Coast. Hurricane Isaias (ees-ah-EE-ahs) is expected to strengthen as it tracks through the Bahamas into Saturday and then will move near Florida this weekend, before tracking up the East Coast as far north as New England next week.A hurricane warning has been issued for a portion of Florida’s East Coast, from Boca Raton to the Volusia/Brevard County Line.A hurricane watch has been expanded, now in effect for portions of Florida from north of the Volusia-Brevard County line to the Flagler/Volusia County Line, and for South Florida from Boca Raton to Hallendale County. A hurricane watch is typically issued 48 hours before the anticipated first occurrence of tropical-storm-force wind, conditions that make outside preparations difficult or dangerous. From Weather.com.😁Me now. I thought that was a very unique name for hurricane I’ve actually never heard that name before at all, Isaias! Oh I feel for people when it’s hurricane season. I’ve been so many bad ones and climate change is such a real thing such a real thing and we all know it. Pray for those people that are in the path of the storm. When I watched the weather earlier today, let me backtrack, when they forecast hurricanes or that’s not the right word but when they tell about a hurricane that there’s usually four or five models that they use to determine the track of the hurricane. The chap that was doing the weather, he said basically all the the the types of formulations that they use are basically all showing that same track that for the hurricane to go so that’s a really good thing there’s sometimes a really wide.😁Me

Peer- pressure ‘ O brother!! ……………

Well the PM handed out Peerages today.. His brother got one and a couple other chaps also. The article I read the title was cronyism at its finest I think. I am so happy that John Bercow has a Peerage! I really do I mean he served for years love him or hate him,he sure added a lot of colour to Parliament! I’m telling you I enjoyed watching him order!!order!! order!! all I can do I’ll hear that till my dying day! Sometimes I just go to YouTube to watch him! But I digress here is some information from the daily mail. 😁DM Cronyism row as Boris makes his own brother a peer alongside anti-Brexit ex-Tory chancellors Ken Clarke and Philip Hammond and Ian Botham - while Theresa May’s husband Philip gets a knighthood. Government publishes list of 36 new peers who will join the House of Lords.Boris Johnson is at the centre of a 'cronyism’ row after his brother was named. List is also headlined by England cricketing legend and Brexiteer Sir Ian Botham.Ruth Davidson, Philip Hammond Ken Clarke also set to join the upper chamber.Meanwhile, Theresa May’s husband Philip is set to be handed a knighthood. 😁End DM

tick tick bite!! ……………”

Oh I saw this in the paper today oh that tick in someone’s belly button gross! and then when I looked closer I realized it wasn’t belly button it was actually a hole in the skin was just absolutely terrible. OK here is I found it I found the article and here it is😁DM Two people in England are hospitalised after being diagnosed with rare infections spread by TICK bites.PHE confirmed case of babesiosis caused by parasite that infects red blood cells.Another patient has tick-borne encephalitis affecting the central nervous system.It’s the first UK-acquired babesiosis case and second of tick-borne encephalitis.😁End DM. So whether you’re in the UK or not chicks are no joke well chicks are no joke but if I said text I said chicks there we all text TICKS excellent! We finally got it kicks are no joke oh no it’s got kicks I think you all know we’re talking about ticks and the software is this software has been in a bad mood today. Anyways it is no joke! You need to remove them you could move remove them with a lit match or you can put alcohol around there or you can use tweezers to pull them but make sure you get the whole thing out of there. Check your clothes check everything and then give your scalp a feel to see if there’s anything in there if you’ve been out walking her out walking through the trees. If you have children you must do the same. If you have fur babies you absolutely must do the same. You must check them all the time give them a while you’re giving them cuddles just check for any ticks.Because you do not want to get Lyme disease or an infection. And if perhaps you miss it and you notice of a red mark kind of like a target about the size of a quarter and I don’t know in other countries if you have a quarter but you can look it up online you need to go to the doctor for antibiotics like pronto this and I am being serious here!

“doctor, what’s growing on my arm.” ……………

I almost posted this on my blog but I I was too embarrassed! But there’s a gentleman in the UK who had a bad infection in his perineum which is his personal area down to his anal area. He developed necrosis with his penis and it fell off. This is not a joke. But the doctors, after however many years of of him being deformed, have with his skin flaps on his arm they manage to fashion a sort of a penis. But for four years,this gentleman has had this appendage on his arm and at least the article I read there was no date of when that would be removed and then implanted In his genital area. Oh kids I don’t know, he said concealing it was a real challenge who can you imagine? Really but it’s amazing with medical science can do! I just hope sooner rather than later they can get that removed and put it where it belongs. They said in order for it to function in a sexual way he would need implants for that. But wow wow wow that’s quite the story and I almost put that on my blog but I didn’t.

Williams conservs film

Prince William to appear in new documentary about his conservation work. The Duke of Cambridge is expected to appear in a new documentary about his conversation work.

He has been filmed over two years for the ITV programme, which has been announced as part of the broadcaster’s new autumn schedule.Well if it’s anywhere near as good as the documentary they did for Princess Anne’s 70th birthday it will be amazing. I don’t know what that documentary or a picture of them is still on YouTube I saw them with you right away when it was posted so I would highly recommend that if you get a chance to see that I would highly recommend it! Now back to Prince William.In the documentary, he describes how his mission to give nature a voice has felt even more personal since he became a father. ITV has said about the documentary: “The Duke of Cambridge reveals that young people hold the key to a more positive future relationship with the environment, and that their determined drive to tackle climate change has made him an optimist. “He explains how his mission to give nature a voice has felt even more personal since he became a father and that he wants to leave behind a better world for future generations. Working together to protect the planet, he believes that local communities have the power to protect and repair the natural world on which we all depend.”William has attempted to tackle the illegal wildlife trade through his umbrella body United For Wildlife.For more than five years the organisation’s Transport Taskforce has been working to facilitate collaborations between the transport sector and law enforcement agencies to prevent wildlife trafficking. Information from standard.co.uk

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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77. Aug 1

MM ANON ……… Archificial German tabloid …………… tic toc trumps Trump ………… arrested!! Conservatives shiver …………… Wills they score …………pubs or schools ……………Harry emojis only……………MMs big mistake ………… no room in the office …………… hands , face , pace ,????…………………Belgium 😱😱😱😱…………… GM dirty secrets …………… SAS 😱😱😱………. …… 🎼a- Louis Louis ‘ O’no You gotta go 🎼

Entertainment purposes

💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌈🌈🌈🌈Thank you MM Anon🌈🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊💜💜💜💜

August1/2020

Riddle #77 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!!?

Archificial German tabloid……………

Well she did it! It may not have been a British or a main stream tabloid as in North American. But she did it! She proved that the paparazzi were really in the drones are the drones we’re paparazzi.! Photos were taken secretly of Archficial! Photos of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s baby in their private garden were published by a magazine a week before the couple sued the paparazzi, Newsweek has learned. Well the usual German gossip rag manage to print manage to print these photos.Bunte, a German mass-market celebrity gossip weekly, ran the photo of Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland pushing 14-month-old Archie Mountbatten-Windsor on a plastic toy car.His face is clearly visible under a beige hat in the image, which appeared on the cover of the July 16 edition.This is the photo or these are the photos that we have discredited here on the blog Here is being photo shopped. There’s all kinds a question about those pictures that part of her arm is receiving and the angle and the especially in one picture of the black line around the bottom of the little Philly cop that the child is wearing is evident on one picture but not on the other. I’m just speaking from memory I haven’t looked at those pictures right now. The surrounding text asks: “How powerful is her mother?”

Inside, a similar photo was accompanied by a caption describing how Archie and his grandmother were playing in front of Tyler Perry’s villa, where Meghan and Harry have been

staying. Do you know Tyler Perry has been getting a whole lot of publicity for free. However when you were dealing with Madame, there is nothing that comes for free. Whether it’s money, your reputation or your very soul nothing is free there’s always a price and it’s usually a high high price! I thought for sure this magazine was called Das Bünde. Either way just as an aside it’s rather quite funny come on ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. That’s what we used to call the cows cows that had a really colourful pattern, what causes always get names I mean that was a thing on the farm But not that I lived on the farm, but you know I knew about that….. Cows give better milk if they have a name. Goats respond to names to their very smart. Anyhow I just think it’s funny that magazine is called the same thing that causes to be called Bünte! In other words it’s very colourful flashy magazine! Or maybe it’s just drops a lot of cow patties terms of information ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha funny that’s funny? Can you believe it with all the emojis there is no cow emoji that’s just wrong moo moo ha ha ha ha ha! OK now the cows are going to start marching in the street saying cows lives matter ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

tic toc trumps Trump …………

Wow if this really happens there will be a revolt given the popularity of that platform wow!President Donald Trump said Friday night that he will ban the popular short-form video app TikTok from operating in the United States, rejecting a potential deal for Microsoft to buy the app from its Chinese-owned parent company. 😁Me.I think we must realize we are way past realizing the impact that China is having on all of us who live in a “free society“. And that’s just not all the cheap things we buy there when we go to the dollar store it’s a whole lot more than that. Huawei has been accused of using software or technological theft. As spoken many times of there that the owners daughter is being held here in Canada impressed in jail on a warrant from the United States. She’s working on fighting extradition. I would encourage anybody who has a Huawei phone to change it. There’s been all sorts of national security service concerns aboutSoftware service. You can read up for yourself about that but I would encourage you to educate yourself about that. There’s a reason why the president is standing firm in his stance against China. China owns most of Western Canada. They bought so much real estate in Vancouver at it it’s unbelievable. And we are just allowing this to happen. The horror that has and is happened in Hong Kong After the handover from the UK to China it was supposed to be one country two governments. It didn’t take but a year for them to renege on that and invade and they’ve they’ve abolish the constitution and arrested many people and so on and so on. End me.😁“As far as TikTok is concerned, we’re banning them from the United States,” Trump said to reporters while aboard Air Force One.Trump said he could use emergency economic powers or an executive order. It was not immediately clear what such an order would look like and what legal challenges it might face.”Well, I have that authority,” he said. Earlier on Friday, people working on the issue within the Trump administration expected the President to sign an order to force ByteDance, the Chinese company that owns the social media platform, to sell the US operations of TikTok, according to a person familiar with the matter. The move was aimed at resolving concerns by the policy makers, ( me😁and the rest of the free world!)that the foreign-owned TikTok may be a national security risk. I also think it’s an international security risk. (😁And who is who who are the ones that it’s most popular with young people. That’s the way to integrate into a society and start with the young.😁)The US government is conducting a national security review of TikTok and is preparing to make a policy recommendation to Trump, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told reporters this week at the White House.

arrested!! Conservatives shiver ……………

Senior Tory aka Consertaive, MP is arrested on suspicion of rape: Ex-minister is held in police custody after being accused of sex attacks on a Commons researcher in her twenties.A Tory MP was arrested last night on suspicion of raping a Commons researcher.The former Minister was being held in custody in an East London police station.His accuser, a woman in her 20s, was interviewed by Scotland Yard officer. Odd, in the whole article I’m reading, I can’t see the name of the MP. It is likely to increase pressure on Tory Chief Whip Mark Spencer, who failed to take action against the MP, who cannot be named for legal reasons, when he was told about the allegations a month ago. Why would you not have taken action? Why was he have sat idly by and done nothing? The former researcher, who cannot be identified, says she was assaulted four times between July 2019 and January this year, including claims of a rape necessitating hospital treatment. The Mail on Sunday was unable to contact the MP for his response to the allegations. As of last night, he had not been charged. More in the DM article if you want to read more about it. Do you know standing by and doing nothing when you possess such knowledge is almost a worse crime than the initial crime. He should be charged with oh what would it be, aiding and abetting? withholding of information? Withholding of criminal information? I think there’s a whole load of things he could’ve done and should’ve done! I hope he is fired! Post haste! Whether the MPis guilty or not that’s for the courts to decide but for him to sit idle on that information and do absolutely nothing that requires instant termination zero tolerance!

Wills they score …………Prince William reveals how he jumped on the sofa screaming with his children looking on in horror after Aston Villa were saved from relegation.Prince William watched Aston Villa being saved from Premier League relegation.He says his children had looked at him in horror as he was jumping off the sofa.The Duke said he wants clubs to ‘aspire to be much better’ around mental health. 😁Can you kids just imagine the scene Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha? they are all sitting and watching this on the TV and their father is all tense and they can see that. And then they’re saved from relegation and a huge like, you kids all know how men are when they get really excited and jumping and screaming and who knows what all else, he was doing carrying on so. Here is their usually calm, disciplined dad just going off the rails! He was having a Tom Cruise jumping on the sofas of the Oprah show! You kids remember that with Tom Cruise was crazy, well he still is,but when he went crazy in love with the oh Holmes oh what’s her name that girl that he ended up marrying and then having a child with. I forget her name, used to be on Dawsons creek, Katie was at Katie Holmes. Tom Cruise was jumping up and down on the sofa like a maniac and Oprah was interviewing him, it was just nuts. Anyway I am envisioning a scene kind a like that hilarious!!Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

pubs or schools ……………DM: SAGE ( 😁Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies I added that in here because I always have to look up what does Sage meet again I always forget so I figured if I forget you guys do so I think it might help you if I put that in there😁)expert warns pubs could have to shut in trade-off to let schools reopen next month - as it’s revealed police have warned the ARMY might have to be called in to quell social unrest over local lock-downs.(😁does anyone else fear martial law? I am still coming in some of those cities in America where they’re rioting like Portland question! I don’t know what to quellsome of these antifa/BLM, I hate to use the word right again because they’re not riots they’re their attacks is what they are there their terrorist attacks!)Professor Graham Medley said watering holes (😁aka your local/pubs/bars/saloons, whatever you call it where you live) may need to close in order to get children back to classes.Boris Johnson yesterday warned coronavirus case numbers are ‘creeping up’ and he is ‘squeezing brake pedal’.He announced lockdown loosening planned for August 1 is being pushed back to August 15 'at the earliest’.That means reopening of casinos and bowling alleys is delayed while wedding receptions must also wait.PM also announced extension of face covering rules to include museums, galleries and places of worship. Professor Chris Whitty warned the UK has potentially reached a limit for how much of society can be opened up.This comes after partial lockdown reimposed on Greater Manchester and parts of Lancashire and West Yorkshire. Residents banned from meeting people they don’t live with in homes or gardens - but can still go to the pub.

Harry emojis only……………

And comes a time to add more insults to Prince Harry. Let’s drag him further through the mad shall we? Why not I’ve spent the last four 4 ½ years ripping him apart and every single possible way criticizing hurting every adjective under the sun so let’s just add some more.😁Prince Harry’s Dorky Texting Habits Were Revealed in a New Book.A new book has made some ‘stories’ about Prince Harry and Seahags time as senior royals, However Prince Harry still remains a senior royal, which is the article that I am greatly editing on does not acknowledge, including the report that Madam was reprimanded by palace officials over a necklace she wore early in their relationship. Beyond the insight into the Sussexes’ apparent frustrations over some of the media coverage over their relationship, however, the book also shares some interesting insight into Prince Harry’s supposed texting habits. Lies representatives truth in a in a down together thing with the cover in a bag with papers inside some cats on the colour book but I’m not calling it a book! allegedly allegedly allegedly,Prince Harry often sent Madam a perplexing emoji in the early days of their courtship.🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥”His messages were often short and full of emojis, in particular the ghost emoji, which he often used instead of a smiley face,“ write the authors. “For what reason? Nobody knows. But Madam found his texting etiquette funny and adorable, just like the Prince."🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥Oh yet another dig and reason to laugh at him oh she’s disgusting absolutely disgusting!Who knew Prince Harry was an emoji man? Well you certainly don’t because your book is full of lies as madam is! You have no idea what he does on social media!. You have no idea how he texts or his interactions with his family and friends via his mobile phone! It’s all lies lies lies lies!🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥As the ‘book’s’, Ike sorry but I cannot dignify this piece of garbage by calling it a book! Nor can I call them authors!authors say, “nobody knows” why he thought the ghost emoji was a substitute for a smiley, but luckily for him, Madam was clearly charmed.Charmed?? Are you kidding me charmed? She lowered him and it was all a big plan there was absolutely no no charm involved!

MMs big mistake …………

She has made many mistakes due to her arrogance and her narcissism! However the biggest mistake was thinking that she could write this book anonymously and then deny being involved with it. She was thinking she would get the big sob story, I didn’t and she would be famouser, that’s the way I think she would say it I’m like I want to be famouser🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣. The book would be a best seller, make a lot of money and everybody would switch over and feel sorry for her. Well the opposite happened even some of the sugars are turning against her which I find hilarious. Her reputation is worse than it ever has been. She’s lost one part of the court case where she’s had to pay £67,000 in legal fees. The mail on Sunday lawsuit, another huge mistake on her part. But this, this “book“ was the biggest mistake hands down. She just does not think beyond the moment she does not think long term. in fact sometimes I question if she thinks at all I think she just acts reactively. Back to newtons law of physics every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Now she’s trying to bring princess Charlotte into it in the papers or it’s just disgusting. The book hasn’t even been officially released yet ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha exclamation! Well OK I’ll leave exclamation in there that’s that’s OK! Oh my my my my my. Most definitely her ego got in the way is it so often does. She’s so narcissistic she was just so convinced that, you know,telling her story from her side of the fence so to speak everyone would just fold over and just bow down to how horrible she’s been treated by that mean Queen and that mean royal family aren’t they just awful to her and Catherine didn’t give her a ride to the store she had to walk on no, oh poor girl. Well when she hired a photographer to take pictures of her a few years ago walking up and down in big rubber boots in her wellies in up and down to Kensington Palace gate so she was trying to enter at the exit she was so dumb she didn’t even know that. She most certainly didn’t seem to remind you that walking!! I think she’s done all city walking on streets or street walking or maybe standing on streets maybe threecorners I don’t know?🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂Oh what a gong show her life is oh my. Oh just wait the MOS is not going to settle this lawsuit they are not going to back down. And whatever comes out of GM and her case ,oh this is just the very beginning kids. We can even just start shopping for popcorn now, go get the best gourmet popcorn you can find and whatever toppings you like. I like your pickle topping if somebody wants to pick some of that up for me. I love dill pickles oh I love the pickles all they’re so good oh if you ever had just a dill pickle sandwich oh kids oh and a nice fresh grain bun ha ha Ha that’s so good anyways I digress there on ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Ha ha ha ha sorry about the kids I did digress I do digress oh my anyways. Yeah she’s she’s just I don’t I can’t imagine what kind of state she’s in right now I just can’t imagine. There was a song or a record years ago called sympathy for the devil well I have no sympathy for the devil and I have no sympathy for her.. She’s a big girl she made all the decisions all of her own throughout her whole life and she’s got herself where she is because she chose to be there!

no room in the office …………… This reminds me of the Bible verse no room in the Inn at Bethlehem and all the songs that came out of that. So who’s not wanted in the office that they are not willing to make room for? Workers will need to BOOK their place on the office lift to stop overcrowding at work.Chief executive Marc Benioff warned this is a 'new type’ of working environment.Employees will also be required to book a slot in order to travel between floors.Company employs 2,000 staff in the UK, mostly at London’s Heron Tower.All I can find our articles about how people working from home during the lockdown will continue for many people and officers will be empty. And that they will have trouble filling the officers with workers because of that. And the domino effect if that’s going to have another industry is like the shops around there and the coffee shops etc. so no room in the office you stumped me here no room in the office. I can think of Madam them not wanting her anywhere near the offices when she was in London or the UK. I can think of Prince Harry not having room in her offices now. Then of course it’s always the office television show which is always good for a laugh. You have stumped me MM anon I said uncle,I say uncle, I have spent about an hour and a half researching that I cannot find anything you stumped me!

hands , face , pace ,????…………………Evening Express😁Boris Johnson urges people to remember ‘hands, face, space’ slogan. The Government’s Sage (Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies) committee discussed data on July 2 which suggested “a gradual decline in self-reported hand-washing frequency over the course of the epidemic” and said it is “worth revisiting behavioural interventions to increase uptake”. It comes after the Government was accused of creating confusion around new rules issued late on Thursday for parts of northern England.At a press conference on Friday, Mr Johnson said: “The only real utensil we have (in) controlling the spread of this new virus is human behaviour, and the only way we can encourage people to behave in one way or the other is through advice.”And so you’re totally right, we need to keep it as simple as we possibly can and that’s why, to sum it up in a nutshell, is: hands, face, space. “Wash your hands, cover your face in the settings that we had mentioned and keep your distance from other people where you don’t know them, you’re coming into contact with them for the first time, and of course get a test and self-isolate if you have symptoms.“I hope that was pretty… you know, that was pretty punchy I think – hands, face, space, and get a test.”I think everybody can more or less remember that.” I think there’s a lot of people pacing up and down right now just trying to cope with everything. And I’m sure there’s many in the government that are pacing trying to cope with the demands. A lot of sleepless nights for a lot of people and pacing up and down the hallway. 'Hands, face, space… knees and toes’: Boris Johnson unveils new government coronavirus slogan - but is accused of making it up as it’s compared to a children’s song.

Belgium 😱😱😱😱……………

Covid-19 infections in Belgium are 12 times higher than reported!

Almost 800,000 people in Belgium have been infected with the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2 since the start of the global pandemic – 12 times more than reported in official figures, according to a study carried out by the university of Antwerp.At the same time, another study reveals that health care personnel are 3.5 times more likely to become infected than the population as a whole. The study examined blood samples collected since the end of March and concluded that if the results are extrapolated to the entire population, 7% of people or a total of 782,000 have been infected.

“Our analysis may even be an underestimate,” said epidemiologist Professor Pierre Van Damme, who led the study with Dr Heidi Theeten.By comparison, the official figures produced by the health institute Sciensano count a total of 68,000 infections since the disease appeared. According to the study, the discrepancy shows the number of people who are carrying the virus without knowing it.”Clearly we are missing a lot of cases of infection,” Prof. Van Damme said. “We searched globally and randomly for antibodies in our research, but in Belgium’s infection hot-spots, the figures may exceed the 7% that we discovered.”In another study, published in The Lancet, (😁mewhich is a well regarded medical magazine or publication!)researchers examined information supplied by users of a smartphone app in the UK and the US, and concluded that health care professional were 3.4 times more likely to become infected than users in general.The incidence of infection among health care workers was 2,747 per 100,000, compared with 242 for the general population of users. However when the numbers are adjusted for factors such as access to tests, the researchers arrived at a figure for the professionals of 823.And in fact, the increased risk was even greater in ethnic minority, black and Asian users, regardless of their medical history. Among the general population, the increased likelihood was 2.5 times greater, while among minority healthcare workers the difference was 1.8 times greater. “Our results confirm the structural inequalities in the face of Covid-19,” the authors said. “Minority caregivers were more likely to work in riskier clinical environments, with suspected or confirmed Covid patients, and had less access to adequate protective equipment.”Alan Hope,The Brussels Times

GM dirty secrets …………… The Telegraph Epstein’s former housekeeper tells Helen Kirwan-Taylor gives a glimpse into the exclusive world of Manhattan elite circles😁I was in Ghislaine Maxwell’s little black book - and know the dark secrets of her New York life. I’ve been using that face to differentiate between the information I find online and me my comments. I hope that’s helpful. Also I should know that we share that I was not the one saying I was in a little Black book.😁

As a New Yorker who married a Brit, I learned how someone with the money could enter the elite circle of the Epstein-linked socialite. I must have received half a dozen excited phone calls. “I hear you’re on the list?!” they said, hardly able to contain their excitement. The list, as most people now know, is Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘little black book’, curated for him by socialite Ghislaine Maxwell and containing the names and addresses of who’s who in both London and New York. It first emerged in 2012 (when Epstein’s former housekeeper was arrested by the FBI while trying to to sell it) and was published on Gawker.com a few years later, along with the flight logs for his private jet, nicknamed the ‘Lolita…😁Well apparently that’s all the information that’s a telegraph will allow me to read and copy without paying. So c’est la vie!😁NY POST A trove of documents related to Ghislaine Maxwell’s sex life and her alleged crimes that were scheduled to be released Monday will be kept secret for the time being, an appeals court ruled Friday.The Second Circuit Court of appeals granted a stay filed by Maxwell’s attorneys, who have fought tooth-and-nail to keep the files that relate to her deposition in a now settled-defamation case from the public.The documents will be kept secret until at least Sept. 22, when the circuit will hear Maxwell’s appeal.The documents were ordered unsealed by Judge Loretta Preska last week, but she granted Maxwell’s attorneys a week to file an appeal to block their release.

On Thursday, a separate batch of documents in the case were released. They included graphic details about Maxwell’s alleged sex-obsessed life with pedophile Jeffrey Epstein before her arrest earlier this month.😁me now. Oh dearie me, I can only imagine what is in those files if they’re fighting tooth and nail. Actually you know something I probably can’t even imagine the whore of what’s in there but a whore ha ha actually I what l said was the horror, the horror that’s in there. I’m gonna leave that mistake in software typing there because that’s actually quite true about this woman. It’s just is so evil, it’s just so evil it’s and comes from such a dark dark dark source. This use of children and recruiting children is just beyond the pale. There’s a scripture verse that says,Suffer the little children to come unto me for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. And I do believe that sins against children, but the Bible says all sins they are the same in the sight of God what a sin is a sin is a sin. I firmly believe that sins against the innocent like children or people who have mental disorders or animals or anybody who’s vulnerable those those are worse,those those are worse. They are the worst of the worst!

SAS 😱😱😱………. ……

Secret court papers claim ‘rogue SAS Afghanistan execution squad’ carried out a series of night-time killings in Afghanistan. Documents in British court show concerning allegations about an SAS unit.Elite soldiers involved in killings of 33 people in night raids on Afghan homes.Circumstances of the incidents where captured Afghan men have attacked with grenades and AK47s ‘against impossible odds’ have been called suspicious.Evidence was withheld from earlier proceedings by the government. Extreme allegations that a 'rogue’ SAS unit carried out night missions in which they executed civilians in villages in Afghanistan have come to light in court documents.The trove of secret files was previously withheld from an ongoing High Court legal case by the government, causing a judge to demand an explanation from SecDef ie Secretary of Defense, Ben Wallace. The Communications from within high ranks of the special forces reveal a huge concern for the killings of over 33 Afghan people in 11 different night raids on homes by the same unit.This is absolutely terrible news. One wonders with all the circumstances where and who ordered this must’ve come up from very high high command for an order like this. They must’ve had suspicion is they were certain actors are that they were after. Funny how that word actor has changed from Hollywood used to using that word instead of terrorists or criminal or whatever they call calling them now a bad actor. I am referring to the person who does bad acts. I don’t know when that first came into common usage. But it’s been at least two years maybe even longer that even using that phrase. At least here in North America I am not sure how it is in the UK but definitely here that’s been the common use.

🎼a- Louis Louis ‘ O’no You gotta go 🎼

This is a song in 1955 by Richard Berry. But it was a huge hit in 1963 by the Kingsmen. This is a standard song or any social or dance whatever we are used to be I said that used to be ha ha Ha ha ha oh boy when I was young ha ha ha ha. Louis and the song is actually spelled LOUIE.. So it seems to be to me rather that this would be about Prince Louis.OK when someone says you gotta go that means you have to go see Mrs. Murphy, we used to say that at work when we have to go to the bathroom, I have to go check on Mrs. Murphy. well he might be about the age of potty training but I can’t imagine that that would be in the news. I know that they were on holiday. of interest,

Louie Louie (The Song) … The FBI was asked to investigate whether or not those involved with the song violated laws against the interstate transportation of obscene material. The limited investigation lasted from February to May 1964 and discovered no evidence of obscenity.

Let’s go back to Prince Louis. I wonder if this doesn’t refer to him starting nursery school or some sort of whatever it’s called there because I was doing some research and this is what I came up with. I wonder if that’s not what does this.What age is preschool in UK?Preschool (US and UK) from 2 to 5 years old- held in a Nursery School; readiness has to do with whether the child is developmentally appropriate, potty training is a big factor, so a child can start as early as 2 years old. All they’re all growing up so fast and they all Time goes so fast!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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78. Aug 2

The photo goes with the clue a bigger splash!

💜🙏🏻😊🌈😊🙏🏻💜PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON💜🙏🏻😊🌈😊🙏🏻💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Victoriiahhhhhhh………. Over 50’ what!!!………………return to the office??…………Drop Shipping ……………… mixed messages 😱😱……………90 minute wonder………………Dragged away’ She’s dyingm!! …………A bigger splash……………… No suspension …a major incident …………… HMTQ ‘ no comment.

Aug 02/20

💜💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊Thank you MM Anon😊😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈💜💜💜💜

August 2/2020. Riddle #78

Victoriiahhhhhhh……….

This reminds me of the movie, A Streetcar Named Desire. The character played by Marlon Brando, stands at the bottom of the stairs and yells Stella! Stella! This is not the usual spelling of Victoria it has two eyes and 7H’s. Victoria is a rule doesn’t have an H in it and it doesn’t have two eyes. Charlotte Tilbury named a lipstick after her, very Victoria, l have it. Her husband David has spent tens and tens of millions bailing out her “ fashion“ business. No the classy woman that she is, she’s trying a new venture. Victoria Beckham denies plans to ‘sell sex toys’ as she prepares to rival Gwyneth Paltrow’s $250m Goop empire with new lifestyle brand. Boy I was just waiting for a new business like this to come out. I was all that we’ve been dealing with and 2020 this is exactly what we need right sex toys yeah right give me a break! People out of work no money to buy sex toys this is disgusting!! A report had alleged the fashion mogul, 46, was looking to match the 47-year-old actress’ company in ‘every way’ and had trademarked the initials 'VB’ for her exciting venture.Hitting back at the reports, a source close to the business exclusively told MailOnline: 'This is absolutely not true! There are no plans to sell sex toys!' Even tell you the things that Gwyneth Paltrow is selling good gracious. You can research it for yourself if you want to know. On her new brand, a source told The Sun earlier this month: 'The Beckhams are huge in the States. Victoria’s products are likely to be lapped up and provide her with a lucrative leap into the international market.'Victoria already boasts a host of beauty products to her name, after launching an eponymous brand to complement her fashion label. On Thursday, it was reported that Victoria had to axe 20 staff at her loss-making fashion label to 'future-proof’ it after the pandemic - just months after reversing plans to furlough employees.

Over 50’ what!!!………………

Madam’s birthday is on 4 August. I do believe her true age is over 50! And someone has just found that out and they’re absolutely shocked! I wonder if some thing public will come tomorrow on her birthday to reveal her true age! Wouldn’t that be something , just the perfect birthday present!!ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha oh kids would that not be just the perfect wonderful birthday present FOR ALL OF US,with it oh my! 🎁 I was going to put 50 candles here but I’m not sure how many more than 50 it would take! maybe someone will hire an airplane and it will carry a banner behind it say happy 55th birthday 🎁 🍰 🎂 Madam!

return to the office??…………

Oh this is like the clue that drove me nuts yesterday in the riddle, that after 90 minutes researching, I never did solve, no room in the office. However, this is the big battle, are people going to stay working from home or are they going to return to the offices. As I said before office building sit empty and the lost revenue to power services through lights and electricity. The lost revenue to businesses in the area. Lost revenue to restaurants in the area. Lost revenue to mass transit. It’s a domino effect, it’s not just a matter of all,you know what will work from home and it’s safer and it’s cheaper and all that so it’s a whole huge cog wheel that turns. It is like a mobile, if you take off one piece, not a mobile phone kids, a mobile that hangs over babies beds. Got all these things hanging from it that are of interest to the baby. But they can be decorative too. It’s like taking off one piece of that it doesn’t hang properly it doesn’t move properly and it needs all the pieces in order to function properly. So the government is wanting people to go, ordering people to go back to work some are refusing and some companies are refusing to comply with that. They would rather have people working from home, there’s less sick time and it seemed to work fine. It’s funny, it seems like when when things don’t work like usual and then people kind of like it that way, the government just has a fit. I think back to the early 90s where the government was cutting nursing money. So what they did is they gave us every Friday off and where I was working at the time I had a Monday to Friday job which is very rare in nursing. And so we got a long weekend every weekend. It was, you know, the first feel like that’s like a loss of 20% of our income but then it got to be pretty nice. Your mental health was better, an extra day off, you have a long weekend and you could do stuff with friends and family. Then they started to realize people were liking this and they took that away but then we still have to lose a day but it couldn’t be so it would be of benefit to us. They were just plug it in anywhere in the middle of our schedule and we wouldn’t necessarily know until the day before. So that that’s how government operates in my experience.

Drop Shipping ……………… 📦

Drones will be used to deliver coronavirus tests and medical supplies to remote regions under plans that allow for safe 'air corridors’ to be set up for them to fly in.Operators are currently banned from flying drones outside their sight line.The Civil Aviation Authority will relax measures to ensure contactless deliveries.Drones will be used to deliver medical supplies and PPE to hospitals.In remote regions, this will speed up the transport of essential goods.

mixed messages 😱😱……………MM Anon Every riddle there is one clue that I just can’t solve , well at LEAST one but always one that sticks out exceptionally!!and it drives me Squirrley! Madam’s 'proud to be feminist’ biography statement and references to her charity work as a child are DELETED from the Royal Family’s website - and replaced with details of her move to US with Prince Harry. So if she will or isn’t she? Is she part of the family or isn’t she? These are mixed messages definitely! Her whole biography is removed! I’m not complaining but these are mixed messages is she or isn’t she is she or isn’t she?The Royal Family’s official website have deleted large chunks of The Duchess of Sussex’s biography, The Sun reports.The page, which details senior members of the royal family’s background and duties, no longer contains large parts of Madam’s history!References to women’s empowerment and her work in a soup kitchen from the age of 13-17 have been deleted! Second line of the 'About The Duchess of Sussex’ section now references her move to America with Prince Harry, 35, stating: 'As announced in January, The Duke and Duchess have stepped back as senior members of The Royal Family’!! She is slowly being erased bit by bit by bit by bit. It won’t be hard to Photoshop her out of Prince Louis’ christening photos, just she’s on the corner there and the other family picture taken outdoors, I forget what that occasion was, it won’t be hard at all to get her photo shopped out of there. Yes they are giving us mixed messages,but if we read the clues and we pay attention, there’s no mixed signal, they’re telling us exactly what’s happening without coming out and saying it.

90 minute wonder………………

MM Anon did you put this here to tease me because I spent 90 minutes 🕰🕰yesterday on that clue no room in the office and still couldn’t find a proper answer? Did you did you did you???😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

What a musician or singer has one to one song that successful in their career nothing else to call them a one hit wonder. This is a 90 minute wonder. This Has to be Madam for her performance in A Woman For All Treasons, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂instead of A Man For All Seasons! 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 hey we have to laugh or we would go mad this is all such a terrible situation! ViacomCBS-backed U.K. broadcaster aired a 90-minute documentary on madam’s father. Thomas Markle.Madam and her husband???, is he still her husband?,Prince Harry sparked a global media frenzy with their decision not to continue as senior members of the British Royal Family. Buckingham Palace announced that the couple are to lose their royal titles of “His Royal Highness” and “Her Royal Highness”.Harry broke his silence revealing that the couple had “no other option.” He didn’t say this is what I wanna do he didn’t say I had this is the one thing that will make me happy this is not the thing that my heart is calling me to do. He said there’s no other option. Now if that doesn’t sound like a special ops comment I don’t know what does! you take your list of options of how to get it out of the situation and you choose the path of least resistance!Produced by Alaska TV, Channel 5’s “Thomas Markle: My Story” had access to Markle over six days at his home in Mexico in October 2019, and returned there to film his reaction to his daughter and son-in-law’s decision to step back from Royal duties. So daddy Markle is a 90 minute Wonder, wow he puts his head up every now and then again to let it let us know he still got his fingers in the pie.OR THIS FROM THE DM.New 'lifesaving’ tests to transform the war on coronavirus: 90-minute checks will be rolled out for the NHS next week - and then used to routinely screen Britons with no symptoms.Two new coronavirus tests will be offered to millions of Britons from next week. The tests, which give results in 90 minutes, will first be introduced to the NHS.Health Secretary Matt Hancock described the move as 'lifesaving’ on Sunday. One is so simple it could soon be deployed in airports, offices, schools, pubs and restaurants – bringing testing to the bulk of the population.

The companies involved would not reveal the cost but claim it is similar or cheaper to current tests – which are around £18 privately but less to the NHS.Health Secretary Matt Hancock last night described the move as 'lifesaving’ as the Government looks to avert a second wave of the disease, prevent the need for draconian lockdowns and restart the stalled economy.

The two tests will initially be introduced in the NHS and care homes before being made available more widely over the next few months.

Unlike current tests given mainly to patients who already think they have the virus, the new methods will be used to routinely screen members of the public who show no symptoms.

Officials hope they will flag up local outbreaks before they take hold, avoiding the need for local lockdowns such as that imposed in the North West last week.

Dragged away’ She’s dyingm!! ……. 🏥 🥼 👮 👮 🚔

I saw this and read this yesterday and then again I almost posted this on my blog but it was too agonizing. This poor little girl is laying in her bed, fighting for her life, near dying and her parents have been fighting for her to continue to be treated. Her father is a doctor, a well-known respiratory specialist and his wife is a former doctor so they’re not, they are no dummies. They know exactly they know what doctors do in the medical profession. I forget the chronic illness their daughter has, but they’ve been fighting to keep her getting treatment and they want her to have steroid treatment. The doctors have been wanting to stop all treatment several times but they have continued at the behest of the family. But this week they had a meeting and they said they Basically told the parents that they were not going to continue to comply with her wishes to treat their daughter. I guess at that point,understandably,the parents would be upset and allegedly the father shoved the doctor that told him this.I forget the quote, I mean it put the article in here after I finish, but he said something rude to the father like get over it man or get real or something like that. Anyways long the short of it the parents are back to the daughters bed and within a few moments police officers arrive. In the video and the photos are agonizing of them handcuffed,dragging them both,mother and father,away from the child bedside. While they’re doing this, father of the child has a massive heart attack and has to be taken to emergency and had to have an angioplasty the next day. Just horrific just absolutely horrific! here is just one link there’s many many many links you can choose to read but this is one for you to read.

https://news.sky.com/story/couple-to-take-legal-action-after-father-was-removed-from-dying-daughters-bedside-12041332

A bigger splash……………… 🌊 🦈

You thought the shark attack in Maine was bad and that was a big shark. Wow just wait to read this. A man in his 20s was attacked by a massive four-metre great white shark at a popular surfing spot - before his board is brought to shore with a massive chunk bitten out of it.Emergency services were called to Bunker Bay in south-west WA around 2.15pm.The surfer was airlifted to Royal Perth Hospital after the shark bit him in the leg.A shocking image showed how the man’s board was bitten in half in the attack. 'Three guys that were close to him they started to paddle towards him… he was already off his board trying to push the board into the shark.

'Those three guys got him onto the beach… everyone came together, there were guys off calling triple-0 on their phones straight away,’ one man explained. A helicopter was sent to the popular beach and the surfer was airlifted to Royal Perth Hospital.The extent of the man’s injuries are not yet known. ‘He’s just sitting on his board and the next thing you know we just heard someone go 'shark’. This is a picture of what’s left of his surfboard whole that is frightening.! OR THIS FROM THE DM. Tragedy as hero father dies after saving his three children when they got caught in a rip-tide off Welsh beach and 18-year-old is found dead in river at beauty spot.Man in his 30s died after being flown to Ysbyty Gwynedd, Bangor this afternoon.Witnesses reported children in difficulty in water and a man swam to their aid.Two of the children were taken to hospital for treatment after Barmouth incident.A hero father in his 30s has died 'after rescuing his three children when they got caught in a rip tide’ on the Welsh coast and in a separate incident an 18-year-old was found dead in a river at a beauty spot in North Yorkshire.North Wales Police confirmed the man, said to be on holiday in the area, died after being pulled from the water and flown to Ysbyty Gwynedd, Bangor on Sunday. Witnesses said three children had got into difficulty in the water near Barmouth and a man understood to be their father had jumped into the water to bring them ashore.

31404976-8579627-image-a-18_1596185547242.jpeg

No suspension … ⚖️ ⚖️

This is referring to the MP who has been accused of rape by a young woman. His name is not been named. He has not lost his job he has not been suspended. I’m all for innocence before proven guilty before a trial but a suspension at the very least.Local Tory party gives senior MP arrested on suspicion of rape its '100% support’ – as pressure grows to suspend the former minister.A Tory MP was arrested last night on suspicion of raping a Commons researcher.The former Minister was being held in custody in an East London police station.His accuser, a woman in her 20s, was interviewed by Scotland Yard officers. Labour MP Jess Phillips has criticised Tories for failing to suspend the whip. The Conservatives were under mounting pressure yesterday after refusing to suspend the ex-minister who is alleged to have assaulted a former parliamentary aide and forced her to have sex.

She claims that she was left so traumatised by their relationship last year that she ended up in hospital.

A major incident…..Government will start testing sewage to track coronavirus and could ban domestic travel to try and stop local outbreaks. Would you kids want that job? Testing sewage? Oh dearie me!🥺 Infected people shed Covid material in their faeces soon after symptoms appear. Trials at 44 sites showed technique was successful and it will now be rolled out. Came as Number 10 considered banning travel in and out of lockdown areas. I could make a joke about what kind of job this is but it would be a bit crude.

Environment Secretary George Eustice said the measure would give officials a 'head start’ on tackling further outbreaks. A wave of localised flare-ups across England has prompted the PM to discuss radical proposals to shake up its crisis response. This could include banning travel in and out of areas with high infections as part of a 'flexible’ strategy to avoid another national lockdown that would derail the economic recovery. The notion of locking down London was touted in March when the capital bore the brunt of cases. It could be resurrected again in the event of a second wave, with the lockdown area defined by the M25.DM

HMTQ ‘ no comment. 👑

What can and can’t the Queen do under lockdown at Balmoral? We all know that her Majesty, the Queen,regularly loves to attend chapel every Sunday. This is no different when she’s at Balmoral.Here are some of the guidelines she will have to follow and she has made no comments about because she wouldn’t she keeps calm and carries on. The Queen’s visit to Balmoral Castle this summer is likely to be different from normal due to the coronavirus restrictions in place.A Buckingham Palace spokesman said arrangements for the visit in early August “will be in line with the relevant guidelines and advice”.Visitors from two other households will be able to meet her at a time at Balmoral, under current Scottish Government rules, with a recommendation for a maximum of eight people at a time when inside. This is only possible with social distancing and “strict hygiene measures”.Guidance indicates four other households will be able to meet the Queen at a time when outside – but with no more than 15 people in total in the group. For both indoors and outdoors, a cap of four households a day has been put in place. Crathie Kirk – a regular place of worship of the royal family when they are in residence at the estate – is among the places of worship subject to rules allowing communal prayer for a maximum of 50 people, with two-metre distancing in place.The Queen will not be able to enjoy the Braemar Gathering as she traditionally does, as coronavirus forced the Highland games to be called off for the first time since 1945. It is also unlikely the monarch will be able to host her annual Ghillies Ball, which takes place in the estate’s grand ballroom.The event is a dance for her neighbours, estate and castle staff during her summer stay at Balmoral but would contravene the current rules on gatherings.The Scottish Government is set to review lockdown measures next Thursday but First Minister Nicola Sturgeon warned at her briefing on Wednesday not to expect the easing of many more restrictions.Currently, face coverings are mandatory across Scotland in circumstances where physical distancing is not easy to maintain.PA MEDIA/UK NEWS. I guess if the Buckingham Palace spokesman made a statement, that would be on behalf of her Majesty.Her Majesty the Queen, has made no public statement regarding Madam or Prince Harry before her holiday to Balmoral. We all know something imminently is going to happen. We also know that she is the one that is in charge. So when the time comes, we will know and if she feels like she needs to speak to us or make a statement she will. I wish her an excellent vacation good health and good happiness and good hunting and good fishing!!GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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79. Aug 3

This photo goes with the Prince Louis Louis Clue

MM Anon

MM ANON …… HOW old !!🤣🤣🤣……………… eat out to ( put on pounds)……………GO BACK TO work……………🎼PRINCE ‘ Louis Louis 🎼…………… a result in 90 mins. …………… very HUME-an………… MM , mendacious,cheat, grifter yacht puta ,, plagiarist, druggy, petulant, dubious ,provenance!!………… “ never returning BP” ……………Hackers🐻🐻🐻…………………Windsor home!!

Entertainment purposes

💜🙏🏻😊🌈✝️🌈😊🙏🏻💜Thank you so much dear MM Anon💜🙏🏻😊🌈✝️🌈😊🙏🏻💜

August 3/2020

Riddle #79 can you believe that at 79 already? Wowza! Wowza!

HOW old !!🤣🤣🤣………………

Well the old SEAHAG is having a birthday tomorrow. Apparently she’s throwing herself at $200,000 birthday party, well isn’t that special Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!I remember very clearly August 4, 1982 was the day that Prince William was christened. I was waiting,I collected everything and I was waiting for the papers and the pictures and I still have them in my scrapbook. I’m a little offended that this woman has the nerve to have a birthday in the same month as me! 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐Somehow that’s just wrong so so so very wrong in so many ways!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 however with her as you know she never tells the truth about anything. Her age fluctuates, kind a like the weather it’s just up-and-down up-and-down and up-and-down. Just like her Wikipedia page that changes too ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, but isn’t it awesome that her part on the royal family’s official website has been very! very!very! very! well edited! NO MORE HRH😁😁😁😁😁😁 Do you know something? I’ve got it now!😁I got it!😁I’ve got it!😁That is her 🎁 present for her birthday from her Majesty and Lord Geidt! That was an awesome gift! I only wish I had thought of something that clever🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Maybe they’ll even give her another gift and they’ll edit her out of Prince Louis’ christening photo! That would be the icing on the 🎂 cake! 🕯 I hope it’s going to be a big cake because they’re going to need a lot of candles! For my cake 🎂, to all of you have already started baking it, I’m going to need 54 candles😁😁😁😁. We used to always have a spice cake for our birthday that mum made and then we would have, what was called birthday icing.It’s a seven minute icing, where you boil brown sugar and butter and you beat up egg whites and then you mix it together. But if it’s a very humid day, it doesn’t turn out well before that’s a lovely combination ….great memories, 😢☺️😊💜💜💜great memories! And my mum used to wrap coins in wax paper. Quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies,we still had pennies are that time. She would put it in the cake in the batter around all around. As it baked, the coins would stay in the bottom of the cake and that way when everybody would get near to the end of eating their piece, they would get a surprise. It would be a penny a dime a nickel or quarter. For kids today, that would be nothing. I’m thinking that Madam might be around the same age as me! Although my skin is much nicer, way, way, way nicer! Firstly because I actually wash my face like with soap and water! I know that’s a new concept! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣I use Prai neck and décolletage or neck and deck as they call it sometimes. I use Korres olive oil line, FANTASTIC! I use L’Occitane either almond oil or verbena is my new favourite shower gel! Hey if I can afford the things she certainly can! I would find it extremely hilarious if tomorrow and all of the papers her actual age was revealed! That would be a birthday gift for all of us ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

eat out to ( put on pounds)……………

Oh I saw the pictures today in the daily mail!! About the amount of food you can get!

Dinner’s on Rishi! Crowds of customers turn streets into outdoor diners as packed restaurants overflow into the road on the first night of the Chancellor’s 50% discount deal.72,000 restaurants, pubs and cafes across Britain are offering half-price meals to diners from today.The offer is only available between Mondays and Wednesdays when eating in and is capped at £10.McDonald’s, Nando’s, Pizza Express and Costa Coffee are involved in scheme backed by taxpayers.Thousands of independent venues including 40 Michelin-starred restaurants are also taking part.The Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been losing weight and he along with the medical profession have been encouraging people, especially over 50, to lose weight. It decreases their Covid risk or let me rephrase that it decreases its severity of their course of illness if they do get COVID-19. With this Cheap food, you’ve got the free food basically it’s unbelievable how much you can get. There are some pictures on there it’s just you just go take a look it’s unbelievable!Restaurants were tonight heaving with customers dining out on discounts after the government launched its half-price meals scheme to breathe life back into the beleaguered hospitality industry. Rishi Sunak’s Eat Out To Help Out programme, which gives people £10 per head off their bill, drew crowds to both high-end venues and fast-food outlets alike.More than 90 chains including McDonald’s, Nando’s, Pizza Express and Costa Coffee are among the 72,000 eateries taking part in the scheme, which allows them claim back the lost money from the Treasury.

GO BACK TO work……………

OK why are those first three words all capitals and then work is an all lowercase. Lots of people have found working at home is working much better for the life as a whole and don’t want to return to the normal 9 to 5 so to speak office environments. It saves and having to buy work clothes fighting with the public transportation and the risk of catching Covid and just the commuting time. yet again you’ve done it I just I don’t I cannot figure out why those three words are in. Given everything in the daily mail today with everything like en Fuego aka on fire 🔥 with Covid-19,it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any government mandates for people to go back to work anytime soon! It is almost as if you are you’re saying to somebody go back to where you came from and you’re really angry about it and then you cannot finish the sentence so you say, work. Daily Mail So much for Britain’s back-to-work day! Nearly five in six office employees will stay at home today despite official drive to get staff back at their desks, survey reveals.An audit of 30 of the UK’s biggest firms found 17 per cent would travel to work.Boris Johnson heralded today as first day the ‘work from home'guidance ends.Britons can go back to the workplace at the ‘discretion’ of their employers. Almost five in six office employees will stay at home today despite the Government’s drive to get staff to return to their workplaces.A Mail audit of 30 of Britain’s biggest firms, representing 320,000 employees, found that just 17 per cent of office-based staff would travel to work this week.

Boris Johnson heralded the first Monday in August – as the day ‘work from home’ guidance ends and Britain should return to the office.

The Guardian.Few workers heed Boris Johnson’s plea to get back to offices.Places in Birmingham and Canary Wharf in London deserted despite call to return after Covid lockdown.

Boris Johnson’s plea that people “should be going back to work” in offices across England from Monday appeared to have gone unheeded in central Birmingham.

In the Colmore business district, which normally has 35,000 workers, most office blocks were largely deserted and at the city’s train stations at rush hour only a handful of people sauntered out, mostly heading to work in shops or hospitals rather than to office-based jobs.Johnson had said it was “important people should be going back to work now”, but even he seemed to struggle to lead by example. The prime minister left his office in Downing Street after lunchtime and spent most of the day working from his country residence at Chequers.Among the roughly two dozen people the Guardian spoke to in Birmingham on Monday morning, only two were on the way back to office work for the first time since the coronavirus lockdown.Radha Heera said she was “excited but very nervous” about heading back to her desk at West Midlands police headquarters after almost five months at home. It was not only her first day back at work but the first time she had left her house in Wolverhampton because she had been shielding for medical reasons.

🎼PRINCE ‘ Louis Louis 🎼……………

I did the spiel about the song oh yesterday or the day before you can flip over back there and read it if you like. The most adorable new photo of Prince Louis today was in the cards,the thank you cards that were sent to people who had wished him a happy birthday. He is all over the Middleton, my goodness he is pulling strong for the Middleton side of the family. He is a handsome little boy wow not the George is not, but he certainly is very very well representing the Middletons! I want to try and add that picture in like I did yesterday with the surfboard picture.I’m going to see if it will add. It will probably be at the top of the riddle but then there will be a big blank space here, but at least you’ll get to see it. 😁Now from the daily mail. Oh, brother! Prince Louis, two, looks just like Prince George in new photo released to thank royal fans for their birthday well-wishes.The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge released an unseen photo of Prince Louis. They shared the photo to thank royal fans for their well-wishes on his second birthday. The photo, , taken by his mum, shows Louis grinning at the camera.It was taken at the same time as photos released to mark the occasion in April.

a result in 90 mins. ……………

New ‘lifesaving’ tests to transform the war on coronavirus: 90-minute checks will be rolled out for the NHS next week - and then used to routinely screen Britons with no symptoms.Two new coronavirus tests will be offered to millions of Britons from next week. The tests, which give results in 90 minutes, will first be introduced to the NHS.Health Secretary Matt Hancock described the move as ‘lifesaving’ on Sunday. One is so simple it could soon be deployed in airports, offices, schools, pubs and restaurants – bringing testing to the bulk of the population.

The companies involved would not reveal the cost but claim it is similar or cheaper to current tests – which are around £18 privately but less to the NHS.Health Secretary Matt Hancock described the move as 'lifesaving’ as the Government looks to avert a second wave of the disease, prevent the need for draconian lockdowns and restart the stalled economy.

The two tests will initially be introduced in the NHS and care homes before being made available more widely over the next few months.

Unlike current tests given mainly to patients who already think they have the virus, the new methods will be used to routinely screen members of the public who show no symptoms.

Officials hope they will flag up local outbreaks before they take hold, avoiding the need for local lockdowns such as that imposed in the North West last week.

very HUME-an…………

This reminds me of the 90s song I’m only human but I can’t think of the band, I’m only human, of flesh and blood l am made. Anyone who knows who sang that song can you put it in the comments for me please,it’s going to drive me nuts.

John Hume, a Northern Irish Catholic leader and Nobel Peace laureate, dies at 83. The veteran civil rights campaigner was credited with kick-starting peace negotiations.John Hume, a key Roman Catholic architect of Northern Ireland’s 1998 Good Friday peace agreement who won the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in ending 30 years of sectarian violence, died on Monday at the age of 83, his SDLP party said.Hume, a veteran civil rights campaigner credited with kick-starting peace negotiations in a British region convulsed by bloodshed in the early 1990s, shared the Peace Prize with Northern Ireland’s then-first minister, David Trimble of the Protestant Ulster Unionist Party. He died in a care home in his native Londonderry, also called Derry, in the early hours of Monday morning, his family said.😁CBC

MM , mendacious,cheat, grifter yacht puta ,, plagiarist, druggy, petulant, dubious ,provenance!!…………

Well MM ANON, do you feel better getting this off your chest? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Should be a very very specific , probably bespoke birthday card,to include all of her characteristics that she possesses. Yes this is the top 10 isn’t it? One must celebrate something on her birthday, she is all those things and more and much much more! There’s a saying what goes around comes around. Karma. I do believe she has Markled herself, with this ‘book’. I also believe that she has marketed herself repeatedly in places all over the world at any price anything! anything! and everything!This word, puta, reminds me of a TV show called Everybody Loves Raymond. Well they went to Italy to visit relatives.and they came back. And there was a girl that one of the guys met there she came back too and she was working in the local Pizza parlour. She was beautiful and oh this guy was dating somebody at the time and his mother, if you ever watch that show, she was very controlling to put it mildly. And that the girls nickname was a pizza parlour Putana 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂which was a not very flattering and you can guess what that means. It means exactly what Madam is and you don’t have to imagine very hard! I like to think that everybody has some good in them. However the people the backers the people that I hang around with JE and GM, that sort of people, they are and have been serving a dark master. And they have ensnared themselves and allied with evil. Only God can save them. So we leave them to God!

“ never returning BP” ……………

There are currently renovations and refurbishing going on Buckingham Palace. Due to the ongoing nature of COVID-19, the reality is that her Majesty the Queen will not be returning there. She will continue likely doing zoom meetings and things from a distance, like Sir Tom’s Knighthood. The days of walkabouts, shaking hands, being amongst the public in the crowds, all those things that she has done for decades and loves so much, those days are gone. For her own safety and health. This must be so heartbreaking to her and my heart goes out to her.

Hackers🐻🐻🐻…………………Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear are both linked to Russian intelligence agencies. Cozy Bear accused Cozy Bear cyber spies of trying to steal coronavirus vaccine information from the U.S., Britain, and Canada. Russia denies the allegations. Security officials have accused Russian hackers of trying to steal information about coronavirus vaccine research in the U.S., Canada and the U.K.The U.S. Department for Homeland Security, the Cybersecurity Infrastructure Security Agency, the National Security Agency, Canada’s Communications Security Establishment and the U.K.’s National Cyber Security Centre joined forces Thursday in accusing Russia of the hacking campaign.“It is completely unacceptable that the Russian Intelligence Services are targeting those working to combat the coronavirus pandemic,” U.K. Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab said in a statement. “While others pursue their selfish interests with reckless behaviour, the U.K. and its allies are getting on with the hard work of finding a vaccine and protecting global health.” Raab also said that he was almost certain that Russians sought to interfere in the U.K.’s general election in 2019 but he didn’t point the figure at any specific group. Russia denied both of the allegations. Who are Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear?Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear are thought to be hacking groups within separate Russian intelligence agencies.APT29 - mean advanced persistent threat - or Cozy Bear is believed to be working for SVR, Russia’s foreign intelligence organisation.According to the NCSC, an arm of GCHQ, Cozy Bear “almost certainly operates as part of Russian intelligence services”. Fancy Bear, or APT28, is believed to be part of GRU, Russia’s military intelligence agency.standard.co.uk and CNBC.😁I have looked and looked and looked and looked and I can find nothing about a third bear or third bear hacking group. I have never heard about the hacking organizations fancy bear and cosy bear! Thank you, MM Anon! I have learned something major that I should’ve known absolutely! Might this be bear number three? Secret UK trade documents used by then Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to attack the Government were stolen by Russian hackers from the email account of former international trade secretary Liam Fox, it was reported today.

The Department of International Trade documents on post-Brexit trade talks with the US were brandished by the hard Left MP at a press conference in November, days before he led his party to a catastrophic vote defeat at the hands of Boris Johnson. The Reuters news agency today cited sources who said they were taken from the email of Dr Fox, who had been removed from his post by Boris Johnson the previous July. They declined to name which Russian group or organisation they believed was responsible, but said the attack bore the hallmarks of a state-backed operation. This might be the third bear who has yet to be named.

Windsor home!!

Windsor Castle will be HMTQ’s new home base. I just think it’s marvellous HMTQ and Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh,have had all this time together. They are both looking so well! I was so happy to see them at Beatrice’s wedding how beautiful HMTQ looked and how hale and hearty Himself looked. I think this is, I have said this before, but I think this is probably the most time they’ve had together in their entire marriage and it will continue to be right think it’s just absolutely marvellous! If there’s anything good come out of that just Covid-19,that is it!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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80. Aug 5

MM ANON …… An ageing Puta , con grifter!! ……… The Royal families take the p*ss ( happy birthday)………… 50 dead , 2,700 injured ……………an Emu and a duck. …………… US open ( closing)………………McCartney/Lennon 😱…………… a rare sowing machine ………… K&W expect……… ………… another boundary??………… “ it’s a birthday Jim, but not as she knows it”🤣🤣🤣

Entertainment purposes

Aug 4/20

August 5/2020 Riddle was from yesterday sorry kids and I wasn’t here yesterday. I’m not feeling well and I just came on today to take a peek and l,did Miss a Riddle but I don’t think I missed a Balmoral. so I’m gonna get this want to go and see how see how it goes OK. Don’t mind my scratchy voice and stuffy nose OK Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah oh man I sound like a smoker when I’m laughing right now home and I’m not a smoker but you know how that sound right?

August 5/2020. Riddle #80!!!

An ageing Puta , con grifter!! ……… The Royal families take the p*ss ( happy birthday)…………

Well Puta in Spanish and putana in Italian are same thing. A woman of the streets, a common street corner prostitute, a woman of very uncouth behavior! Those all fit Madam except she found other ways and places to apply her trade shall we say.. As with all of us she is ageing and she thought she would pull off the con of her life pulling one over on the royal family Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha stupid woman! She had no idea who she was dealing with and she still doesn’t she still is flagging that PR out there. And it’s worse is what’s worse is there’s people that are helping her those people are even more pathetic than she is! And there was all this will the royal family say happy birthday well they won’t will they will they won’t they won’t they will they will they will take. Well we all knew they would. We all knew they would they take the highroad as I said the other riddle her Majesty was on her way to Scotland and she took the high road. I hope you get the part of the song I’ll take the road and you get to take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland before you all know that song right? well her Majesty took the highroad and I love the photo that was posted on man it was 80% her majesty and 90 no no no 80 and 90 does not give 100% 20% Madam let’s say that way underneath oh, kids my brain is so stuffed up you’re gonna have to spare with me spare with me bear with me oh my all this is gonna be this is going to be the day oh my? as ever per decorum they extended lovely birthday greetings to Madame. Nothing more and certainly nothing less!

50 dead , 2,700 injured ……………

This is pretty bad. I mean horrific explosion in downtown Baghdad Baghdad all Lord help me to Beirut oh kids this is going to be off anyway Beirut not bag that there may have been a bombing in Baghdad I don’t know but this one is referring to Beirut! The stupidest thing was entirely preventable, this was entirely preventable!. Do you remember the bombing in Oklahoma City? I remember it like it was yesterday here’s a little little catch-up for those who may not know. The Oklahoma City bombing was a domestic terrorist truck bombingof the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building[1] in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, United States, on April 19, 1995. Perpetrated by American terrorists Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, the bombing happened at 9:02 am and killed at least 168 people, including many children. Anyhow they used fertilizer bombs in the amount of damage and carnage is just unbelievable. Know what you have here in Beirut was illegal storage in a warehouse. I am so angry about this I cannot even tell you it’s just so senseless! Here’s something from the DM. Lebanese port officials are put under house arrest over Russian businessman’s abandoned ammonium nitrate which blew up Beirut: String of warnings were made over chemicals impounded six years ago as astonishing images show it stored at the dock’s hangar 12.Lebanon’s cabinet has placed all officials responsible for Beirut port security since 2014 under house arrest. Comes after fire at a warehouse sparked a massive explosion that devastated the city, killing at least 135.Customs officers insisted authorities were repeatedly warned about the danger, but refused to take action.Explosive chemicals belonged to Russian businessman Igor Grechushkin before being impounded in port. Does it make you wonder why Russia is involved yet again? Yet again? Makes me wonder how many other warehouses there are like this all over the world where they are illegally storing ammonia nitrate and other things other lethal things! So so so unnecessary!

an Emu and a duck. ……………

Oh MM Anon, What is this is one of the obscure things that only English people know? Which is so much of your riddles.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂Well I know one swims and is smaller and one is huge! and is featured in a current ad campaign for some company. It is funny how TV commercials you see the ad but, if you remember the ad, you have no idea what they were advertising. And there’s a bunch of commercials right now that are running with a guy in the yellow shirt and his partner is an emu and I have no idea maybe it’s an ostrich I’m not sure they’re both big birds anyway not THE big bird, THE big bird is from Sesame Street.😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 I am always the DM leaps in to the rescue.Orville and Emu are at centre of battle between Keith Harris and Rod Hull’s widows and toy-maker who ‘borrowed’ iconic puppets only to put them up for £10,000 sale at Bonhams.The birds had been put up for sale by merchandiser Roger Shaw with Bonhams.They were expected to make up to £20,000 for the pair at leading auctioneers.But it was scrapped after uproar from Harris’ widow Sarah and Hull’s widow Cher.The women are ‘determined to have the birds returned to their rightful owners’.I hate that when people try and make money off of cherished things like that. You see that so often with celebrity memorabilia or stuff like that like real actors I’m talking like Olivia de Haviland who recently passed away that kind of acted when their stuff get sold it’s just it just feels so wrong to me!

US open ( closing)………………

Ashleigh Barty pulls out of US Open amid concern over Covid-19.

World No 1 Ashleigh Barty has withdrawn from the US Open in a massive blow to the New York grand slam.

Not comfortable about travelling during the coronavirus pandemic, Barty is the biggest name yet to opt out of the major because of the global health crisis. My team and I have decided that we won’t be travelling to the US and Western and Southern Open and the US Open this year,” Barty said in a statement issued by her manager.Barty is still weighing up whether to resume her season in Europe and ultimately try to defend her French Open crown in Paris. o includes events for senior, junior, and wheelchair players. Since 1978, the tournament has been played on acrylic hard courts at the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center in Flushing Meadows–Corona Park, Queens, New York City. Given the location of where were the U.S. Open is normally played right smack in the centre of Queens New York. Queens a borough of New York. With New York currently having us a lawn enforcement teams at every entrance and exit to the city, to the entire city! I cannot see how this could possibly continue there’s just no way. I know it’s gonna happen. Even if all the players came there’s no way it would happen!

McCartney/Lennon 😱……………

There has been a long time rumours of Paul McCartney and John Lennon having had a fling. And when I say fling I think you can infer what I’m saying. I know Paul McCartney had done an interview in 2018 with you GQ magazine I’ll put the link here. l don’t know if he’s declared that openly. I know many Beatles fans and party fans don’t want to know about this or to believe it or whatever but there’s so much stuff online about it you can research and I’m not gonna do that for you but I will do is put the link to the 2018 interview here. https://www.gq.com/story/the-untold-stories-of-paul-mccartney

a rare sowing machine …………

I have a old singer treadle sewing machine are you are meeting with MM Anon? My mum made a point of going to auction sales until she had one for each of us children. Mine still works like a charm just got to keep it greased up and it works perfectly!But seriously in the United States there’s an election for a new president in November. Who would’ve thought it with all the other news going on!? There has been a lot of talk in the last week or so about absentee ballots and voter mail in ballots. Some people don’t know the difference and some people do. I am not American so I will not attempt to explain that but suffice it to say there are two, aw heck I’ll explain it or try to. An absentee ballot is like if you’re not able to vote, you’re in the military outside the country or you’re in the hospital or your work has you in such a place where you cannot vote. A mail in ballot is something that you can request the form for and is simply if you just are not able to do or do not want to wait in the queue to vote, you can request a mail in ballot it will be sent you you can vote your things and then mail it back in. I’ve even seen interviewers and people talking about just just forgetting the whole, waiting in the queue for this election due to Covid, just rather just send open ballot voting like mail ballots to every household and then people can just mail back in the votes. Well the problem with that is there’s a lot of people who would be missed by that and there’s a lot of reasons why they would be missed and I’m not gonna go into right now that’s a whole bigger issue. However there are active workers sowing seeds of doubt in the validity of the coming election. It’s been happening for quite some time, actually been happening since President Trump was elected. The day after he was sworn in, they were already protesting and planning to get him out of office. They were already planning how to destabilize the government and sow doubt in his validity as president. And that has continued every single day of his presidency there has been a huge effort from the left, in the far left fascist left,and even further left than that Anarchy,to discredit him discredit his presidency and discredit everything that the Republican Party stands for. And that even includes many former Republicans which I I just I just can’t believe. You’re going to join with the left is fascist because you don’t agree with with some of the policy or you don’t like the person? Isn’t it party before person? Doesn’t the party set do the voting like I’m pretty sure I’m pretty sure like every senator or whatever member of Congress they each vote so yeah there is party before vote! OK enough of me here’s some research to kind of back up what I’m saying. article after article after article that I’m finding uses the word SOW. And most of those articles are from the left. I’m so hesitant to link any here because I don’t want to further their agenda. In fact I’m not going to link anything here because everything I found is from the left it’s even in the headline Trump sows blah blah blah…. you could find it, it is easy to find on Google. Easy easy easy to fine because Google is a left-wing owned company. Recommend it to me another search engine the other day and that’s amazing whatever found on there never appeared on Google so I they won’t mind, and I hope maybe you guys will know what I don’t know but it’s a website called DuckDuckGo and it’s a search engine and it’s amazing what you can all find in there. So keep your mind open kids and do your research. Dont just stick to watch one search engine especially with something that’s important. Because your election, and I’m speaking American friends now, your election is vitally important. I live in the country that is your biggest border and your closest neighbour well other than Mexico of course but you know what I mean. And what happens in your country greatly has affected will affect and will continue to check my country in the entire world.

K&W expect……… …………

MM Anon l am not falling for this again!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂! My heart broken too many times. I think with Catherine and William are likely expecting is the return of their children either to school or homeschool routine, regular schedule or something like that. They also are expecting a change in what little public appearances they have been able to do I hate use the word appearance because that’s not the right word but it are use that for the sake of not thinking being able to think of another word right now but ha ha ha ha ha ha. DMCatherine and William have fun at Gavin & Stacey amusement arcade: Royal couple visit Barry Island attraction from BBC comedy as they try to provide boost to Britain’s Covid-hit tourism industry. They carried out two engagements in South Wales on Wednesday. Paid visit to iconic 'Nessa’s’ arcade in Barry Island and heard about impact of Covid-19 on tourism sector.Couple travelled to Shire Hall Care Home in Cardiff where they spoke to staff, residents and family members. The mother-of-three cut a stylish figure in a £1,635 designer dress by Emelia Wickstead and tan wedges. She sure loves her some wedges doesn’t she!?!😊😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣It comes just one day after royal donned a face mask for first time and visited a baby bank in Sheffield. I find it very interesting that the visit to the baby bank there those pictures appeared on the blog the other day and someone was questioning where those pictures were from. So either someone snuck out some pictures and then had them printed on the blog or the paper followed up on those pictures either way I think it’s interesting how Skippy yet again sets the pace set the information out there! They are trying to increase tourism but with all the new lockdowns, and more coming oh my goodness on lockdown now is Aberdeen! The Queen just drove through there yesterday! If it had been close yesterday they would’ve had to take a helicopter to Balmoral!

another boundary??…………

Lock down lockdown some more lockdowns in the greater Manchester area people are they have been on lockdown and some people that I’ve included included in that boundary are really quite upset because they not feel they have never been included in that jurisdiction that they are Cheshire just like the Cheshire cat! So it’s not a whole lot of people into lockdown that wouldn’t necessarily have been and I think a lot of people want to know why all of a sudden their postcards are being included in the greater Manchester postcards! Plus it’s also going to affect his face if your home is the greatest investment and that’s going to affect cash value of your home as well!!Aberdeen is on lockdown! New York City in New York City they are now having at every entrance and exit point I don’t know if every police or state police or watt that you it’ll be like going into another country you’ll have to declare yourself and they can turn you away or not and then you have to go into isolation! It is it is if anybody thinks Covid is going away it is not it is it is expanding at a rate that is frightening! All this quick to unlock down oh there’s my word again that I need to unlock down oh my will there ever be normal again sometimes I wonder if you know normal will be wearing facemasks that we live in bubbles like the it’s quite concerning. And talks of London going back in to lockdown. OK kids you should see this poor software trying to understand my stuffy nose oh my this is almost too funny!

“ it’s a birthday Jim, but not as she knows it”🤣🤣🤣

Again dearest M and M and M Eminem Eminem you’re a rapper no MM Anon. The favourite Star Trek reference that covers everything in life that has changed to such a drastic degree! Yes Madam had a birthday yesterday but it was likely a very unusual one like she’s never ever had. And next year’s birthday is likely to be equally as unusual. She was on her PR ! been saying she was going to throw a $200,000 birthday party for herself and usually when she mentions money in her PR, that means how much she wants how much money she wants from somebody for something.. I especially loved the birthday greeting that she wrote to her self pretending to be Harry, signing it love H! Oh that was just a kicker to me oh she’s a silly woman! I put it mildly!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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[softestziam]

Part three of my Daddy!Deledier series. I may put this up on Ao3 today or sometime soon. Enjoy!

“Da-da. Da-da. Come on little one, say it.”

“You’re cheating,” Dele accused him with a laugh. “You purposely filling her head so she’d say daddy first.”

Eric looked up from where he was sitting on the floor with Fay. She was lying on her back on her play mat playing with all the toys that surrounded her. “I am not!”

“Lies,” he repeated, sitting down next to Eric. “Okay Fay, if you say Poppa first I’d buy you a Ferrari.”

Eric gawked at his husband, dumbfounded. “Now you’re bribing her!”

“She doesn’t even know what a Ferrari is, Dier,” Dele laughed.

“Semantics,” Eric waved his comment off with a scoff. “Fairy Fay, say da-da.”

Fay kicked her legs about, making one of her toys go off and play a song that made both Eric and Dele groan. That sound seeping into their subconscious during the past month. They watched her cautiously as she turned onto her belly and slowly raised her head to get a better view of everything around her.

“She can’t be bothered,” Dele noted with a sigh. “She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

“Most babies don’t utter their first word until ten months,” Eric spat the fact out. “She’s nine months and maybe we’re just pushing her, yeah?”

“She hit all her milestones on time or early so there’s no need to panic,” he assured Eric, scratching his head. He loves that Eric decided to shave his head regularly now that Fay was around. He didn’t want his longer hair becoming a chew toy especially once she started teething two months prior. She was fearless, she’s put anything in her mouth to numb the pain.

A few days later Eric was cleaning up in the kitchen, Fay crawling around at his feet, pushing around a toy football that Uncle Winksy got her for her birth. She oddly loved that damn thing. Most kids had a stuffed animal as their first toy, not Fay. She never went anywhere without that toy. The home was quiet, Dele at training for the preseason. Poch let him miss traveling to Africa with the team as long as he showed up to every preseason training session he had planned, no matter the time. Perks of being captain. Eric hung up his boots a year before, basically from the second he found out Fay was going to be born. He had accomplished all he wanted with club and country, now it was time to have a personal life.

Eric loved his alone time with Fay. He would just look at her for hours, doing nothing. He was afraid he’d miss something if he looked away so his eyes were glued on that little girl at all times. His mum told him to rest when she rested, but he couldn’t. He’d lay on the couch, or in the chair in her bedroom so he was always close by just in case she needed him. She was an excellent baby, always got compliments from family when they’d watch her while both Eric and Dele were working. Eric would stop by the Sky Sports studio and work their pre and post match commentary after big, important England and Spurs matches. It wasn’t much but it was Eric’s ongoing connection to the game and the people who he cared most about. Now he was solely focused on Fay, Dele, and their family.

“You hungry little bub?” Eric asked a still crawling and playing Fay at his feet as his put away the last dish in the dishwasher.

Fay stopped in her tracks, disregarding the toy football to sit up and looked up at Eric. Her eyes were wide at the question. She may look like Eric and spend a majority of the day with Eric but her personality was definitely Dele’s, there was no denying that and that warmed Eric’s heart each and every time.

“Say da-da first and you can have some good oatmeal,” Eric told her. He was desperate, if Dele could bribe her with a car, he could bribe her with food. No one was around to judge him anyway. He crouched down so he was at her eye level, smiling wide. “Come on bub, day da-da.”

Fay opened her mouth, Eric’s eyes going wide with excitement. This was it, she was going to say her first coherent word. Nope, all that came out was a bunch of baby gargle. That was fine, there wasn’t any rush or hurry for her to speak. Eric just wanted her first words to be his name over Dele’s, just a little friendly competition is all. Eric scooped her up and placed Fay in her highchair as he heated up her oatmeal. He was overjoyed that she had moved on to solid foods because those baby food jars were collecting and taking up a ton of room in the pantry and frankly the food smelt.

Fay at excitingly, she too happy to be eating solids. The oatmeal got mostly on her face and shirt but she looked over joyed about the mess so Eric couldn’t be fussed by it. She was able to hold her own bottle now so Eric had more time to clean up the mess as she drank happily. He loved little moments like this, moments where everything was quiet around them and it was just them and a simple task like feeding. Eric would tease her with the spoon, her little feet kicking in excitement as the excitement of it. He’d giggle at her and she’s kick even harder and faster, basking in the attention from her father.

“Nana.”

Eric dropped the spoon as Fay spoke. She actually spoke! He wasn’t even concerned over the slight mess he made with the dropped spoon. His little girl actually said her first words!

“Nana, nana, nana.”

“Oh my god,” he gasped as she kept speaking over and over again. It took Eric a second to realize what she was actually saying and when he did his face fell. “Nana?”

“Nana,” She repeated excitingly.

Eric grabbed his phone off the table behind him and immediately phoned his husband. “Come on, pick up.”

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Dele answers breathlessly.

“She said her first words!” Eric exclaimed.

“Oh my god!” Dele shouted, Eric could hear the echo of his words, more than likely he was in the changing room. “She say Poppa or Daddy? Tell me Dier!”

“Nana,” he said flatly. He was over the moon that she spoke, just wished she had uttered a different word.

“Nana?” He asked, a little shocked. “What the-? Nana?”

“It’s your mums fault,” Eric accused him. “She’s been brainwashing this poor child to say her name first.”

“Sally Hickford is a saint,” Dele laughed. “But a clever woman, I’ll tell you that much.”

“She spoke Del,” Eric finally realized, breaking out into a wide smile. “She’s growing up and speaking and before you know it she’ll be speaking in full sentences and having a conversation with us.”

“Slow down, Dier,” he laughed at his husbands optimism. “One word at a time. Her next word better be Poppa or I swear I’ll hunt down my mother.”

“Sally Hickford is a saint!” Eric echoed his earlier words. “She got our baby to talk Del.”

“Now I’m the bad guy,” Dele scoffed. “Babe, I gotta go. I’ll be home soon. Give kisses to Fay. Love you.”

“Love you Delboy. Get home safe.”

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Last Contextual Studies: Fun Activities

Last week we were given a task to create a fun activity for our final session. It could be like a Show and Tell, quizzes or anything as we have been put into groups. I was put into a different group with Daisy and Ethan. During the breakout rooms on zoom I didn’t interacted very much but I did say, “Hi”, when I joined in, however I wasn’t sure of what to say to my peers so I hoped someone would interact with me but none of them did until Daisy spoke to me very later as it was coming to the very end of the breakout room. I felt like bursting into tears until I became very upset; crying after the session. So I told three of my tutors about my problem: Samantha; not specifically until the afternoon after discussing with my SLA tutor, Cecile. She must contacted after my session with her. Then I had Caroline very later. Two weeks ago I was happy getting interacted but a week later things became a disappointment that nobody was interacting with me when I said “Hi.” So I chose to work independently rather than being put into groups again. Samantha and Caroline didn’t mind after they understood my problem. I came up with my own activity a movie quiz as I wrote down seven questions from different films and I must improve my writing a bit better from Caroline’s advice when I write down questions. Also I never want it to be a survey or anything I just want the students to guess the answers for fun. However I am suppose to provide instructions for the students to have three cards or ripped up pieces of paper to write the letters: A, B and C so they can share one of the answers on screen to the host before revealing the correct answer. The questions I wrote down were:

1) In Disney’s Aladdin 1992, how many years has Genie been trapped in the lamp for?

A) 10 Thousand Years

B) 7 Million Years

C) 47 years

2) In John Carpenter’s Christine based on the novel by Stephen King, what type of car is Christine meant to be?

A) A sports car

B) A Ferrari

C) Plymouth Fury

3) From Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, main protagonist, Jeff was in an accident before the events of the film. Which of his limbs is broken?

A) Hand

B) Arm

C) Leg

4) What is the cat’s name from Ridley Scott’s Alien?

A) Mittens

B) Meowth

C) Jonesy

5) What is the Bride name from Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill vol.1 & 2?

A) O-ren Ishii

B) Beatrix Kiddo

C) Elle Driver

6) From 1984’s The Karate Kid what was the name of the song when Daniel LaRusso was being chased by bullies on Halloween night?

A) Young Hearts by Commuter

B) You’re the Best by Joe Esposito

C) No Shelter by Broken Edge

7) From Sam Raimi’s Spider-man Trilogy (2002-07), where did Peter Parker/Spider-man and Mary Jane Watson have their first kiss?

A) The cemetery

B) The night in the park

C) The rainy night in the alleyway

I thought this would be a good idea to do a movie quiz because I am into lot of movies which relates to pop culture. I was not born in the 80s or 70s but I was born in 1997 and I did grew up watching old and new films. There is a reason I want the students to guess the answers to see if they are familiar with the films they watched.

On Thursday evening I emailed Samantha my idea until she replied back to me on Friday morning when she suggested it was a good idea and wanted me to ask her in case if there was anything I need help with. At 10am’s lesson for Contextual Studies, Samantha had to go first with her own activity to get people change their identity before 10:20am, however I still didn’t quite get it until I went onto group chat of what exactly we have do and they explained to me to change my identity by wearing our costumes or it could be anything. There was no point of me getting changed on time when it was almost coming to 10:20am so I brought one of my cuddly toys, Dumbo to be on screen with me. Everyone was in their costumes. Some. Then I noticed one of the students had brought her cuddly toy with her. Samantha had taken a picture of us twice. Moving on to Eloise’s activity we had to be put into groups to select two different nouns, a verb and adjective so we write down a weird sentence and illustrate it. The group and I came up with a sentence, “A sensual elephant grows a dodgily pizza.” I still did not quite get the point about the sentence we have to draw until Eloise explained to me that the elephant is sexually attracted to pizza. Just make it up as I go along. While everyone was drawing I looked up on the definition between “dodgily” and “sensual” so I can figure out of what to illustrate. I decided to draw an elephant attempting to eat the contaminated pizza with flies flying about while the melted cheese is dropping down. The expression on the elephant’s face when it is sticking out it’s tongue as it is licking to the pizza shows a sexual active impression. Then we all had to present our to everyone as much as the others did the same. I bursted out into laughter as I felt embarrassed because of the way I drew. Moving on to the next activity had to be me was my movie quiz. I instructed everyone to get three cards or ripped up pieces of paper to write down the letters: A, B and C. I had to make sure everyone was ready before I could start the quiz. I was so excited until I became all enthusiastic throughout the questioning the audience and revealing the answers. I also made a few intimations from two films of the answers from the first and second questions by starting with Robin Williams’s character, Genie from Aladdin 1992 when I revealed the answer by imitating his voice expression of his quote: “Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!” Then I was like “Robin Williams, you’re my hero!” Suddenly I overheard someone saying that was a good expression. The last imitation I did from the second question of John Carpenter’s Christine was the noise of the car, “Vrrrrooooom!” Like when the villain is ready to kill someone. Since I made that noise I spotted one of my class peers, Ethan being spooked as flinched back. Pretty funny. After finishing my quiz Samantha asked me of how many students showed the correct answers to me I did see some letters whom were answered correctly, whereas some didn’t and I couldn’t count. In my head I was like “Doh!” And I felt embarrassed that I was hesitant to speak as I didn’t know what to do. So Samantha helped me by asking the others of who answered the correct questions I cannot remember how many I saw. I avoid making eye contact from everyone due being embarrassed, although I was a bit confused that I thought we, Samantha and I agreed on not doing a survey or could I be mistaken.

Overall, I do not want to go into too much detail about mine and the students’ activities I just want to say is that I had a good time, however the session ended around 12pm, whereas we normally finish around 11pm before 12pm. I, also forgot to mention that Samantha was going to be having a doctor’s appointment so we had to start the lesson at 10am. I hope for my second and third year we could do something fun like what we had today.