#the features both of them hate about each other i think is what they themselves need | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chaoryn · 3 months ago

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𓏲 ʚ pick a pile: 𝓦hat makes your s/o go feral for you ɞ

disclaimer: this reading is for entertainment purposes ONLY so take it all with a grain of salt. this is a collective reading for the shifting community!!

take a deep breath and choose the kitten that catches your eye the most or that your intuition tells you to.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ masterlist | paid services | tips

୨ ⏜ ︵ · • ᨦ ♡ ᨩ • · ︵ ⏜ ୧

୨ ⏜ ︵ · • ᨦ ♡ ᨩ • · ︵ ⏜ ୧

˙ ᩠୨ ⌢ ⁺ pile one ੭୧ ₊ ⌢ ୧ ᩠ ˙

your s/o’s are literally your personal bitches. they are down SO BAD for you, and this is NOT an exaggeration!!! seriously, they are obsessed with everything about you, and they would do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING for you. and when i say anything, i mean ANYTHING. they would lie, steal, kill – hell, even die for you if they had to. so, honestly? there's nothing that doesn’t make them go feral for you because the simple fact that you exist is already enough. they might struggle to put their feelings into words, but what they can’t deny is that THEY LOVE YOU SO F*CKING MUCH. seriously, their communication skills are kind of a mess, and it's hard for them to express what they feel or think, but they are this close to telling you the truth because they literally cannot keep this bottled up any longer.

for some of you in this pile, you and your s/o aren’t together yet, but something tells me you love playing hard to get (or maybe some of y’all are in a whole enemies to lovers situation LMAO). either way, your behavior is driving your s/o INSANE. but like, in the best way possible (you're in the "enemies" part, and deep down they're in the "lovers" part LMAOO). what’s hilarious is that they do not want to deal with these feelings, at all. they don’t even wanna deal with the concept of love itself, so much so that they keep searching for reasons to convince themselves why you two shouldn't be together. but it’s all a waste of time because, deep down, they think you’re perfect. you are someone they see as worth it. so yeah, they can fight it all they want, but they’re not going anywhere. LMFAOOOO. even if they don’t show it much, they miss you when you’re apart, and they HATE seeing you cry/sad. what’s even funnier is that YOU’RE NOT INNOCENT EITHER, PILE ONE. especially those of you who aren't with your s/o yet (or are in an enemies to lovers dynamic), you’re also in denial. deep down, you’re scared of being alone, and you’re stuck in your own internal battle too. so now BOTH of you are out here pretending you don’t care about each other when literally the entire multiverse knows you do. except you two. lol.

but your s/o doesn’t blame you for feeling this way, and they hope you don’t blame them either. love is complicated as hell. honestly, they are gathering the courage to confess because they cannot take the pain of holding it in any longer. these feelings are eating them alive. they’ve tried to forget you, tried not to smile when they think of you, tried to act like they don’t care, because if they tell you how they feel and you don’t feel the same way… they know they’ll be picking up the pieces of their shattered heart for the rest of eternity.

and if you are in an enemies to lovers situation, it’s like… they’re ASHAMED that they don’t hate you. like they want you to give them a reason to hate you because you’re not supposed to have feelings for your enemy, right? 🙈 but idk, things don’t always work like that lol. they literally wonder if you’re going through the same internal crisis they are lol. listen. years could pass, and your s/o would still be head over heels for you. nothing will change their mind because they are 1000% sure they’re the right person for you. (cocky much?)

also, their favorite physical feature of yours? your eyes. oh, and they are possessive over you, which is hilarious because a lot of you aren’t even in an official relationship with them and they’re out here like, “you’re my wife/husband 😠.” another thing that drives them crazy is that you’re not like the people they’ve been romantically or sexually involved with before. usually, their charm, looks, or player energy (LMAO) gets them what they want easily, but you? you’re like, “nah, i'm not your doll 🫸.” you don’t just let them have you, and that’s what makes things interesting. many of you have spent your past molding yourselves to please others, but you’re not doing that anymore, and that challenges them in a way they love.

oh, and both of you are jealous as hell. i can't even tell if they’re worse or if you are LMAO. some of you are out here side-eyeing your s/o just for looking at someone else 🤨 and vice-versa. my gods… your s/o needs therapy. they overthink EVERYTHING. like, they’ll sit there and analyze a situation to death until they convince themselves of some wild conclusion that only exists in their head. example: you mention you don’t like XYZ (which happens to be something they like). a normal person would just be like, "oh, they don’t like XYZ." your s/o? “they don’t like XYZ? or do they just not like ME? am i the problem? am i an inconvenience in their life? is that why they avoid me?” ...yeah. good luck with that lol. or this could be you, if that's the case for you, i say this with all the love in my heart, seek therapy!! <3

୨ ⏜ ︵ · • ᨦ ♡ ᨩ • · ︵ ⏜ ୧

˙ ᩠୨ ⌢ ⁺ pile two ੭୧ ₊ ⌢ ୧ ᩠ ˙

what makes your s/o go feral for you are the little details that make you who you are (it can be as silly as like your taste in music, your favorite drink, your perfume etc.). it’s like they feel they shouldn’t know this much about you just from observing you lol. but at the same time, while they notice these tiny things about you, they also want to get to know you on a deeper level, to know who you are when no one is watching. do you even know that yourself? that’s the real question. honestly, this could even be an invitation to self-discovery lol. overall, they think you two are a perfect match, and they just want you to go ahead and kiss them already (especially for those who aren’t official with their s/o yet). funny enough, this pile gives me the impression that you’re the one making more moves than your s/o.

okay, this was supposed to be a fun and lighthearted reading, but your s/o's are lowkey depressed in this pile, and i’m not gonna sugarcoat it. some of them could be seen as villains or just deeply misunderstood, struggling with low self esteem, and feeling like their mind isn’t in the best place because of all the heavy baggage they carry in their chest. it's a whole mix of unresolved trauma that therapy could actually fix!!! it’s like they’ve had their heart broken before, faced multiple disappointments, so when something (or rather, someone) good comes along, they assume there’s a catch, that it’s too good to be true. but honestly, they’re so tired of all this bullshit, and it’s like they want to take the initiative for once in their life… but instead, they just wait around, hoping you’ll randomly walk up and kiss them lol. it’s funny because they come off as the "dark and brooding" type *emo emoji meme*, the whole "my hEaRt iS bLaCk 🤪" aesthetic, but in reality? you know what they actually want? FOR YOU TO DEVOUR THEM, TO DOMINATE THEM, TO PIN THEM AGAINST A WALL LMAOOOOO I LOVE EXPOSING YOUR S/O’S BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, THEY’RE ALL JUST YOUR LITTLE BITCH!!!! they love when you take control like that, which is another reason they go absolutely feral for you. it’s like they can’t wait, even if it means getting knocked out by you (especially those with an enemies/rivals to lovers dynamic lol). if you hit them, they’d say thank you. if you told them to shut up, deep down, they’d love it. they like provoking you just to get a reaction out of you. in a way, this might be their version of affection, or maybe they interpret your resistance and toughness as a sign of love, yk? very much childhood trauma lol.

they know how you see them, or at least they think they do. in their mind, you either see them as “too much” in the overwhelming sense, or as “TOO MUCH” in the damn, they’re hot way. but if they’re being honest, they’re confused! because they lowkey think you’re just toying with them, even though you’ve raised their expectations so high that it irritates them. I SWEAR, THEY’RE SO FUNNY LMAO. they’re like: "you think you can win me over with your charm?fuck, you’re right." also, your voice?? yeah, that’s another thing that makes them go feral. they think it’s beautiful, attractive, and if they could, they’d listen to you talk all day, even if you were just saying the dumbest shit. your voice does things to them, though they’d never admit it out loud.

for those of you who are “just friends” (yeah, sure), your s/o is starting to realize that… oops, maybe you’re not just friends. some of you might’ve even been this close to kissing, but it didn’t happen 🤡. so now there’s this huge feeling of missed opportunity, like you can’t take that step because it would ruin what you already have. (but we all know you do want to ruin this friendship for a good reason cough cough kiss your each other cough cough but you won’t, because a lot of you are scared to take that leap of faith.) your s/o feels way more than just a simple crush on you, and while that makes them all warm and fuzzy inside, it also terrifies them. like… what if you don’t feel the same? what if they get crushed? OMGGG THEY’RE SO IN LOVE AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!! seriously, they love spending time with you, even if some of them would never say it out loud, especially if you two are rivals/enemies, or they’re just not the type to express their feelings.

they basically want to breathe you in, to know what’s going on in your mind. they look up at the stars thinking about you and wondering what it all means (it feels like both of you are on some kind of journey). you make them feel incredible, and they wonder if you even have a clue how deep their feelings run for you. BUT THEY’RE ALSO OBLIVIOUS!!! IT’S SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU LOVE THEM, BUT THEY IGNORE ALL THE SIGNS 😫. gods, this is so frustrating LMAO.

୨ ⏜ ︵ · • ᨦ ♡ ᨩ • · ︵ ⏜ ୧

˙ ᩠୨ ⌢ ⁺ pile three ੭୧ ₊ ⌢ ୧ ᩠ ˙

your s/o literally sees you as some kind of fallen angel or divine being. no one compares to you in their eyes. literally NO ONE. they’ve put you on this pedestal so high it’s actually insane. just the mere fact that you exist is enough to make them absolutely feral for you. like fr, even if you were the walking embodiment of a red flag (which hopefully you're not 👀), they would still go blind to all the signs just to be near you. if you two are in a relationship or even just friends (but like, come on now) they lowkey believe that no one else out there is on your level. like it’s giving partners in crime, ride or die, us-against-the-world type beat. they are OBSESSED.

also? for some of y’all, there’s a celebrity/public image/ glamorous lifestyle vibe coming through. but with that glam comes chaos.it’s giving burnout, haters, no stability, relationship struggles, the whole "famous but dead inside" thing. and someone here (and idk if it's you or your s/o, the energy is messy) is running from their problems like it’s an olympic sport. there’s this self sabotage loop of relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms (like alcohol or smoking), and it’s just… a lot. but for real, whoever this is: YOU NEED A BREAK. like, go easy on yourself for once. if you’re the one going through this, please get help. seriously. whoever this is might not even wanna admit how broken they are just so they don’t have to deal with it. but babe… it’s gonna get worse if you don’t.

this pile is giving DEPRESSION™. like, darker than the other piles. pile three, are you okay? no? didn’t think so. you or your s/o are out here shattered, probably tried to live up to some fairytale or expectations and got hit with the brutal reality of life instead. now you’re like “f*ck it, hope you suffer” to whoever hurt you and honestly? valid. being good vibes all the time doesn’t fix sh*t, lmao. so now it’s “head up, pain in the chest, tears wiped, still sexy” energy and your s/o? they’re eating that up, it’s that “i may be dying inside but i’m still hot” attitude, and they’re OBSESSED. some of y’all are hiding how bad it is just to keep up appearances, and if that’s you? please take care of your mental health!!! seriously. seek help. this isn’t something you have to face alone.

this was supposed to be a fun reading and now it’s a damn funeral, i’m screaming, BUT I REFUSE TO SUGARCOAT IT. it’s hard to tell who’s going through it more (you or them) but what’s clear is that they want you close. like, BAD. being apart from you messes with them. your s/o might pretend they’re fine too, but babe, they're NOT. they’ve got walls up so high, they don’t even know how to express themselves properly, which leads to major communication issues between y’all. they wish they could tell you what’s really on their mind. they’re scared to lose you and hate themselves for not knowing how to love you the way you deserve.

the idea of you with someone else? oh god. that’s their villain origin story. the thought of you kissing or even smiling at someone else while they’re lying in bed thinking about how dumb they were for letting you go?? yeah, it haunts them. they play it cool but they would absolutely mentally self-destruct if they ever lost you.

if you're involved romantically or platonically they crave more from you. more calls. more messages. more effort. they want to feel like you’re choosing them as much as they’re choosing you. some of you might’ve even been their childhood friend or first love, and you helped them survive a dark past just by being there for them. they remember that. they hold onto that. random but some of you were literally their first (iykyk).

#shifting community #shifting blog #shifting antis dni #reality shifting #shifting motivation #shiftblr #shifters #shifting #tarot #divination #pick a card #pick a pile #shifting pick a pile #shifting pac #shifting pap #shifting reading #shifting realities

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rose-maidenn · 7 months ago

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Pick a card :

Enemies to lover's

♡Who of your enemy can become your lover ?

♡Why is there love in hate ?

♡What can you do ?

Pile 1-2-3

For more masterlist

For an indepth reading or other readings paid readings

Pile 1 :

♡Who of your enemy can become your lover ?

man you have enemity with really messed up people ngl 😭 , you're a cutthroat person who fights for what they believe in and are not afraid to call people out if they do something wrong , I sense dark feminine but open energy to you , you won't talk first but when others do you make sure to speak as a way of luring people in , your enemy is excited by that , this is someone who is kind of older plays basketball is a coworker in your field ( professor vibes) , they have a thin lips or mole on teeth or a beautiful smile .

♡Why is there love in hate ?

You represent their shadow side , they're an emblem of non chalance , they're sweet maybe overly sweet and hardly stand up for themselves not because they can't but because they don't think it would be that necessary but you represent a new way of living and thinking and they think your lips are kissable and sweet so they just genuinely wanna know you more but they're scared asf 💀

♡What can you do ?

If you like them back then obviously, you can hit it back by offering them a coffee randomly like hey I have an extra coffee do you want sum ? Or just randomly stare at something in your work place you will catch them admiring you . I hear rose perfume so that might be something that would be complimented, good perfumes in general give them ecstacy so it will make them talk to you .

Pile 2:

♡Who of your enemy can become your lover ?

Why tf this gives cousin energy 😭 or a very close friend turned hater , you have have rejected them once but they still adore you 😭 they claim to not wanna see your face in the morning but they dream of you . For some others this is a person who once ate your food 🫠 , they might have repayed you tho or not .

♡Why is there love in hate ?

Tbh they have always loved you , they're just so immature to do the right thing it's like they blame the circumstances for how they turn out but they might wanna try to make it better. They adore your intellect as well , they also love to do what you do , your new hobbies and talents just ignite them .

♡What can you do ?

Nothing imao , if you like them tho just have a conversation about random things like old times , they might come up with an apology or want to meet things can take a sweet turn further , p.s they don't hate you they hate themselves what I hear , so your kindness will go a long way for them.

Pile 3 :

♡Who of your enemy can become your lover ?

This screams academic rival , ahhhhhh, they have been trying to beat you for a while or vice versa , but you both notice each other's efforts . You both are heavy into music , skating as well, some physical features are grey hairs , veiny hands or manicured beautiful hands . They might be in the engineering or history field .

♡Why is there love in hate ?

You're just so pretty who wouldn't love you is the question it gives doctor slump vibes , you might stay alone for most times but they see that as really brave and the fact that you're still happy despite that makes them feel they can improve their life as well . Once they saw you in the market and you looked so pretty they can't forget you 😭🌸

♡What can you do ?

Just a small hii goes a long way , they're someone who has a lot of depth so you will enjoy talking to them a lot , they want to love you so much they see you as their muse so a hii will make their day and they will reciprocate well , the energy is so sweet 😫🩷

Thanks for reading 🧚‍♀��

#pac tarot #pac reading #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #tarot community #tarot blog #tarot reading #tarotblr #intuitive messages #intuitive guidance #tarotcommunity

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analog-autistic · 4 months ago

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I’ve been thinking about. quite the scenario featuring the ancients, beasts, and dark enchantress

this is gonna be a long one so I’m putting a cut

ok so

the beast and ancients are FIGHTING. BATTLING, even. It’s fierce, there’s no other cookies in sight. Neither side is clearly winning or losing, both ancient and beast are badly beaten.

then dark enchantress cookie and her cookies of darkness roll up and she’s like

“hello bitches im here because you fucking idiots fighting has weakened you and now I’m here to steal your souljams”

and the beasts and ancients stop fighting. like they freeze in place, mid battle, and stare at her

hollyberry is holding eternal sugar by the collar of her dress, burning spice and golden cheese have their blades at each others necks, silent salt is tangled in flower vines and white lily is holding back their sword with her staff, mystic flour has one foot on a collapsed dark cacao, and shadow milk and pure vanilla have magic in the air aimed at eachother. and they’re all just frozen in place. staring at dark enchantress.

and after a few seconds of staring and her and glancing at one another, eternal sugar says “ok, so we’re all thinking the same thing, right?”

they all nod and agree and stuff

and start helping eachother up

mystic flour and pure vanilla start healing everyone and patching them up while everyone gets steady and stuff, they discuss amongst themselves like they’ve never hated each other a day in their lives

and a few minutes later all of them suddenly turn to her and start RUNNING at her, ready to send this bitch to cookie HELL

like. yeah I don’t want this other one to have my souljam but I EXTRA dont want YOU to have it

damn girl you pissed off all 10 (ten) souljams. even pure vanilla is resorting to violence girl what

silent salt and white lily are the most pissed considering she’s technically BOTH their counterpart

YOU CAN COOKIE RUN BUT YOU CANT COOKIE HIDE

#beast cookies #cr kingdom #crk #mystic flour cookie #burning spice cookie #silent salt cookie #shadow milk cookie #eternal sugar cookie #ancient cookies #pure vanilla cookie #hollyberry cookie #white lily cookie #dark cacao cookie #golden cheese cookie #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #dark enchantress cookie

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nicarnelian · 1 year ago

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furever with kaji!

₊˚⊹ featuring: kaji ren x gn! reader

₊˚⊹ summary: when you bring a cat to kaji’s apartment and ask his help in making a decent home for the feline, every request must come with an equivalent reward. for kaji, he thinks kisses are sufficient compensations to your requisition.

₊˚⊹ word count: 1.5k

₊˚⊹ warnings: tooth-rotting cringe fluff, grammar errors!

₊˚⊹ author’s note: binged frieren yesterday, and himmel and frieren occupied my mind, lived on it, rent free 24/7 for the past days! i’m also rewatching 86, bc shinlena are my ogs! anw, enjoy this kaji fic w cats bc i love cats (this is a shameless self-insert fic, if i think abt it) ;)))

kaji ren finds cats tolerable. well, actually, he considers them insignificant to his daily life, so he does not particularly hate them. the only moments where he would come into interaction with those little felines are when the townspeople would either ask him a favor, such as by catching them or feeding them, or when those cats would rub themselves on his feet and legs.

he doesn’t find them annoying though; he actually consider cats something that helps him calm down, shifting his attention to the little furry animals begging for rubs and pats, rather than the rowdy environment that encircled him. but, there were also times when the cats bite him out of affection, and kaji, knowing the person that he is, screams at the animal. afterwards, kaji would flinch as he watches the cat run away from him, feeling guilty as he looks down at the small strands of fur left on his pants.

after a couple of cat interactions, it would take probably another month or two when he would interact or touch a cat properly. all of these cat memories of kaji were brought up by the current situation between the two of you.

the second you knock on his apartment’s wood door, kaji unlocks it, knowing that you would be visiting him. he missed you, even though you do see each other after classes and during weekends. kaji has gotten clingy with you — the type of clingy that continues to seek the presence of the other, the type that opt to hear your voice rather than casual texts on the flat surface of his phone. but now, he kinda regrets opening the door for you. his gaze travels all around your figure, until it stops at a pint-sized, black and white animal that you hug near your chest.

he looks directly at your eyes, “why the hell is that in your arms?”

the both of you stand motionless, as no one dared to break eye contact. you wear a dumb smile on your lips as you giggle at your boyfriend’s statement. you lightly pet the small animal that leans into your touch. “it’s a kitten!”

“i know it’s a damned cat, but why the hell are you here, bringing a kitten in my apartment?!” kaji could not control the volume of his voice properly, causing him to step back as he realizes what he had done to you. you see the guilt in his eyes spreading, as if afraid of the possibility that he might have hurt you from his words. you quickly give a light smile to reassure him, letting him know it’s alright and he didn’t hurt you in any way with his words.

“well, i didn’t know where to bring it! the landlady at my place doesn’t like pets, so here i am!” you continue giving him that beaming grin of yours. kaji finds you insufferable — the way these walls he had built since he was a child quickly dwindle into nothingness when you forced yourself into his life, with that stupid, witless, yet stunningly delicate smile.

kaji notices how your face contorts to ever single emotion possible — from how your eyebrows furrow in seriousness to annoyance whenever you do your assignments , and how they quickly crumple to relief whenever he says the simplest of motivational quotes that he most probably looked up online since he was new to interacting like this.

in months of dating you, he wanted to know everything about you albeit being impossible — but, he was the type to make any possibility a reality. months into your relationship, he has put into immense effort into knowing you, and you reciprocated such actions from your boyfriend. and, it’s safe to say that both of you are still staying strong after almost a year of being with him.

you welcome yourself into his room, which kaji did not mind since he will always think that whatever that is his is also yours. you settle the cat on his chair, much to his dismay though. “hey! it’ll leave random fur!”

you pout at him, “i just need a box and some discarded fabric to make him a home for the meantime. you have some?” kaji knows how much you love cats, which is why he completely abides by your requests. but, of course, every request comes with a equal reward.

“i have some boxes and i plan to throw away some of my clothes…” he mumbles. you extend your hands at him, like a child asking for candy. kaji smirks.

he walks towards your direction, closing the distance as he draws his face near yours. you flinch at his actions due to how sudden and unpredictable kaji has become. you place your hands on his chest involuntarily, as your eyes lock on his pair of gray eyes as well. “w-what is it…?”

kaji doesn’t crack a smile, but instead, pouts. his index finger points towards the skin of his right cheek. you watch him tilt his head, as if showing the skin to you, and the words he uttered were something you had not even expect to hear in a thousand years. “k-kiss.”

you blink at him, as you could see the tips of his ears reddening from what he asked. he just asked… for a kiss? kaji ren? the boy who had always told you that you were insufferable was asking for a kiss?

“w-what?”

kaji’s face fumes into a shade of red, “n-nothing! never mind what i said, c’mere! as f-far as i remember, some of the b-boxes were underneath my bed! i’ll search for—“ kaji blabbers and stammers all over his words. am i going crazy? he, himself, could not believe he had just asked that from you.

kaji gasps when you clasp his entire face with your hands and peck the location of his cheeks that he was pointing earlier. he grabs your wrists as you continue littering his face with soft kisses. kaji feels like his world is spinning, his mind cloudy, his heart thumping so fast and his face burning red already.

you give him a final peck on his lips and smirk, “awww… are you perhaps kiss-deprived, ren? but don’t worry, i’ll kiss you anytime you want!” you beam at him, after seeing his flushed face. kaji doesn’t respond, which makes you somewhat worried.

“ren?”

his eyes stare at his room’s wooden floor, shoulders moving up and down. his bangs cover his eyes, leading you to simply call out his name multiple times until he slowly brings his gaze upwards to yours. you nervously chuckle at him, trying to break the silence between you both as he bores his eyes into you. “ren…?” you smile cautiously.

“you’re insufferable.” and, he closes the distance between your faces, kissing you harshly. it’s certainly not comparable to this kisses you’ve given him earlier, soft and teasing — his kiss is hungry, as if he’s deprived of water and your mouth is the sole salvation. it’s filthy and rough, but you fondle his lips with equal greediness.

you place your hands on both of his shoulders, balancing yourself at the height of the moment between you and kaji. you feel his tongue grazing your lips. he wraps his arms around your waist, one hand casually roaming your body until his fingers tangle with your hair and push you closer to him. it feels like forever — kissing him in a room that just encapsulates who he is: his scent, his mark, his hands that hold you tightly but not too tight, his eyes that only look at you. the entirety of kaji ren being yours and you being his feels like forever to you.

“meow!”

the both of you stop, heads snapping at the cat already purring at your entangled limbs. it’s almost involuntary how both you and kaji stare at each other and laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck. you feel his forehead press against yours as he whispers, “‘m sorry.”

“for what?” you lean your forehead against his. “nothing, just felt like it. since, you know, accidentally raised my voice on you earlier.” kaji smiles as his head finally drops to the intersection of your neck and shoulders, planting soft kisses on the bare skin.

you ruffle his head, “‘s fine. i know you didn’t mean it.” he hums in response to you.

“but for now, you have to help me make this cat’s home! i’ve given you lotsa kisses earlier, so i expect more help from you!” you poke his cheek, trying to force him to look at you. you wriggle away from his embrace, and kaji finally whispers in response to your statement.

“‘m willing to do anything for your kisses. i’m glad to do more even.” kaji smirks at you, causing you to smack his shoulder and ultimately breaking the hug. you’re glad that he’s finally trying to open up more, to talk more. you watch as he kneel towards the cat and let the cat sniff his fingers — a small introduction between kaji and the cat.

you want to savor the moment, and sure you do, because being with kaji ren feels like forever.

#wind breaker #wind breaker (satoru nii)#wind breaker x reader #kaji ren #ren kaji #ren kaji x you #ren kaji x reader #kaji ren x reader #kaji x reader #windbreaker #windbreaker x reader

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yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere · 1 year ago

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❤️🤍💙 #RWRB #RWRBMovie #RedWhiteAndRoyalBlue

Casey being iconic-i just love Them so much!!

#CaseyMcQuiston

. https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1791335511728013403?s=19 .

"I just really wanted to explore both of those characters and I wanted to do it in a way that I hadn't really seen before, and also just like as a queer person I want to make queer art and that's what I'm drawn and that's what I'm interested in. So I kind of had these two different ideas, it was like one idea was that I would write a book about this rebellious first kid who's like figuring out that they're queer and what does that mean for their like political aspirations; and the other was about you know sort of a member of the royal family under all of this pressure to carry on this legacy and like what does that mean if they're gay. Um-And I'm just like kind of weighing these two different stories and deciding where I wanted to go and then I just kind of had this moment of like What If I didn't have to choose and it was the same story because they fall in love with each other? And-Um-You know in a classic bisexual fashion I was like I'm gonna have both, so I did!"

"It was really important to me that Alex was explicitly bisexual because like, you know, I really wanted the representation of like this bisexual character and then it was important to me that he was also Mexican like he is in the book and that he was played by a Mexican actor. (..) It was really important to me that, um, I didn't want any, I didn't want Alex or Henry, no matter how their stories were translated to the screen, I didn't want either of them to have any type of, um, like shame or resentment towards themselves for being queer, it was really important to me that the stakes of their lives and their like inner conflict was much more based on like the circumstances that they're in. It's like they don't hate themselves for being gay-or for being bi-they just wish that it was easier to be who they were in the world that they live in."

"..Taylor embodies that so beautifully. (..) I think he's just killer in that role. And Nick, I mean, if you like turned me upside down and shook me like he would fall out my brain as Henry (..) doesn't have blue eyes but they sure are sad eyes and that is exactly what they need to be."

"I see myself in Alex, tremendously, I'm very much in Alex, I relate to him so much, uh, truly, I think he's the most like me of all my characters."

"I very much would love screenwriting to become part of what I do, I'll say it that way."

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BTW for everyone interested: Red, White & Royal Blue: Collector's Edition Henry PoV bonus chapter by Casey Mcquiston : https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/752528941905018880?source=share

CMQ spotify (characters' playlists!!) https://open.spotify.com/user/p873j0jdmqn5hye7cakdnub7e/playlists

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

+https://www.vulture.com/article/casey-mcquiston-red-white-and-royal-blue-the-pairing-interview.html

+https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-features/taylor-zakhar-perez-casey-mcquiston-interview-red-white-royal-blue-1235975977/

.https://ew.com/taylor-zakhar-perez-honors-nicholas-galitzine-entertainers-of-the-year-2024-8759399 +CAST OF RED WHITE & ROYAL BLUE |FYC Panel - Consider Amazon:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/769737016086839297?source=share

.https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/758778031058862080?source=share

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linkspooky · 4 months ago

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THE GREATEST REDEMPTION ARC OF ALL TIME IS NOT ZUKO'S

Apparently, I like getting hate in my inbox so let's continue criticizing a series that most people consider to be an untouchable masterpiece. Here's my controversial statement for the day. Zuko's redemptoin arc is... fine. It's just fine. (Remember to send all of your anon hate to linkspooky dot tumblr dot come slash ask). It is a servicable character arc where Zuko is clearly in a different place then where he began, but when I think greatest redemption arc of all time I think Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So now in order to make my point I'm going to compare the two seemingly unrelated franchises which both feature a bad guy who eventually joins the heroes side.

What is a Redemption Arc?

So I'm going to start off by blowing everyone's minds by saying that I hate the words "redemption arc". If only because the term is so overused, and the word 'redemption' itself is subjective and tied up in personal beliefs of what morality is that 'redemption arc' basically has no meaning. It's kind of like how people use the word 'enemies to lovers' to describe stories like Pride and Prejudgice, because like in most romance stories the two main characters start out the story disliking each other.

Redemption arc is now a buzzword, and every time a villain shows even a small amount of humanity a new discourse on whether or not they deserve a redemption arc starts up. So is the problem that there are too many redemption arcs?

No, not at all.

In fact off the top of my head I can only name a couple of redemption arcs that actually complete and don't end with the character dying, Spike, Zuko, Catra, and uhhhhh..... uhhh.... Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment.

There's not nearly enough redemption arcs and yet there's so much debate over the term 'redemption arc'. So here's my solution stop calling them redemption arcs, because using the word 'redemption' requires that the reader make a moral judgement on whether or not they have done enough to be morally redeemed.

A redemption arc is just a character arc. If you take out the word 'redemption' and just judge a redemption arc as a character arc, an arc where a character needs to change in a singificant way and be in a significantly different place than they were at the start of the story it becomes easier to discuss the quality of a redemption arc without turning it into a morality debate.

A redemption arc is just a regular character arc, where a character starts off in a much, much lower place.

You can describe most "redemption" arcs in the same way you would describe a regular character arc, in terms of a need / want arc. In most stories the main character starts out with a want, that drives them forward. In a disney movie, this takes the form of a disney princess "I want" song. The want is an external need that the main character actively pursues. My favorite disney princess Elphaba Thropp starts the story singing "The Wizard and I" about how she wants the Wizard to recognize her and see her for more than just the color of her skin, and make it so she's seen and accepted for who she is for the first time. Dorothy sings "Over the Rainbow" because she WANTS to get away from her dreary existence in Kansas and go somewhere else.

Contrasting this want is a need. This is something internal that they need to fix about thermselves in order to have a complete character arc. Oftentimes, the character is so distracted by what they want, they spend most of the plot failing to realize what they need to do in order to fix themselves. The need is a lesson, only attained upon self-reflection and self-evaluation, an honest step towards self-fulfillment. A character usually demonstrates growth by realizing what is important to them, what they need to do, instead of focusing only on what they want.

Elphaba realizes her want for acceptance is distracting her need to do right by outcasts who are just like her, which is why she chooses to become the wicked witch rather than stay by the wizard's side in Defying Gravity.

"You can have all you ever wanted." "But I don't want it. I can't want it, anymore."

Dorothy's I want song is all about how she wants to go somewhere far away, but at the end of the movie her greatest desire is to go home, and she's finally able to return to Kansas by clicking her heels after realizing how important home was to her. Glinda even says that Dorothy always had the magic inside of her to go home to begin with, she just needed to realize it, and her journey to Oz was all so she could make the internal realization of how important home was to her. Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, the Lion all go to the wizard to ask him to grant him their wish, something that they WANT, only for the Wizard to turn out to have no magic. The Wizard instead points out to all of them they already had those qualities inside themselves, he gives Scarecrow a Diploma because Scarecrow was always smart, he gives Tin Man a heart shaped watch because Tin Man was the most sensitive of all, and he gives the Lion a Medal because the Lion was always courageous never running away despite the faft he was a scaredy cat.

Anyway, the point of this tangent is I can put Zuko's arc in these simple need / want terms even though he starts the story as an antagonist, because a redemption arc is a regular character arc.

Zuko starts the story with a conflicting want and need. He wants to capture the avatar in order to restore his honor and gain his father's approval, but what he really needs to do is question what "reclaiming his honor" truly means. He needs to question the values of the country that he was born in and realize that the fire nation is wrong and what the fire nation is doing to the world is wrong. This conflict with his want, which is his desire for his father's approval, because in order to gain his father's approval Zuko has to act like a fire nation prince and contribute to the war effort.

Much more simply you could say that Zuko wants to meet his father's expectations and be a good son, but what he really needs to do is learn to be a good person by his own definition of right and wrong not his father's.

I would compare it to Elphaba's arc, Zuko would start singing "When I'm with the Wizard" and when he finally realizes that he doesn't want to exist to please his father especially when his father is hurting the world and so many people he'd bust out into "Defying Gravity."

My point being that Zuko is no different from any Disney Princess.

No, actually my point being that what Zuko is going through is just a regular character arc, it's just more complicated because he has more flaws than any of the other main characters.

But, every character starts out with a flawed understanding of the world. Every hero should have severe flaws that they need to overcome in order to learn and grow.

If anything I think the reason redemption arcs receive so much focus is that they are much more clear cut character arcs, because the characters who receive redemption arcs have glaring, obvious, flaws.

All characters should have flaws, there's no reason for a character to grow if they start out the story perfect. However, often the good guys, because they are the good guys will either be less flaw, or the plot will brush over their flaws and won't challenge them as much which is why their arcs will come off as less compelling than redemption arcs. Not because redemption arcs are automatically deeper, but because a redemption arc always starts out with a more obviously flawed chracter and the narrative HAS to address those flaws which is going to lead to a better character arc.

Redemption arcs are just regular character arcs, and I'm going to judge both Zuko and Spike's arcs as regular arcs in order to illustrate why in comparison's Zuko's is incomplete.

BTVS vs. ATLA

Buffy the Vampire Slayer seems like a strange show to compare to Avatar the Last Airbender, but they actually cover a wide range of similiar topics. They are both about the burden of being the chosen one, Aang being the Avatar who reincarnates again and again to try to lead the world to balance. Buffy is the Slayer, one girl in all the world who can hunt vampires.

Briefly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a show by Joss Whedon based around the concept of what if the Cheerleader who died in the first five minutes of every horror movie wasn't a victim, but instead was the thing that monsters were afraid of.

Buffy is a normal teenage girl whose life changes when she finds out she's the slayer, a girl gifted with super strength and combat ability who is tasked with using these abilities to fight off an endless army of demons and vampires that come her way. Usually at least once a season she fights a big bad that threatens to end the world. While at the same time, Buffy tries to maintain some form of a normal life, with her mother, her friends, and her mentor who teaches her how to be a better Slayer.

Aang, is a normal teenage boy who finds out when he is twelve years old he is the reincarnation of the spiritual leader of his people, the Avatar who is tasked with maintaining the balance between the four nations. Aang runs away from this responsibility and ends up frozen in the ice for 100 years. When he wakes up he finds out the fire natoin has killed all of the airebenders, and invaded over 3/4s of the war, and that if he doesn't master all four elements before Sozin's comet returns a year from now then the fire nation will likely use the power of the comet to permanently win the war.

She is also one in a long line of slayers, but while avatars reincarnate, the Slayer fights until they die and then a completely new Slayer takes over from there. Aang is able to bend all four elements and has a connection to the spirit world, Buffy has super strength and the ability to have visions. Both characters want to live a normal life, but because they are the chosen one they are forced to fight to save the world. They're both surrounded by a gang of friends who follow them because they are the chosen one, Buffy has the Scooby Gang, and Aang has Team Avatar / The Gaang.

Both stories are not only deconstructions of the pressures of being the chosen one, they are also bildungsroman that are about their main character growing up and learning adult responsibility alongside learning how to fulfill their role as the chosen one. They both die once and are magically revived. (Buffy voice: "Hey, I've died twice".)

Perhaps the biggest connection and the one this post is about is both shows are thematically about redemption, and eschew traditional Christian ideas of good and evil in favor of a more nuanced look at morality.

BUFFY He wants forgiveness. GILES Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people they act out exactly what happened that night, so instead he's experiencing a form of purgatory. He's doomed to kill his Miss Newman over and over again - and forgiveness is impossible. BUFFY Good. He doesn't deserve it. GILES To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it. Now Buffy goes off - her spite palpable. BUFFY No. James destroyed the person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. No matter if he know now that it was wrong and stupid and selfish. He's just going to have to live with it. XANDER He can't live with it Buff, he's dead.

They are both shows about forgiveness above all else, and this is why a major plotline in both shows feature a character who starts out as an antagonist making a long journey and eventually changing sides to join the heroes.

ZUKO VS SPIKE

So, since there are really no objective ways to determine the quality of a "redemption arc" because the idea of redemption is entirely subjective and based upon your personal beliefs, I am just going to judge Zuko's redemption arc by comparing it to what I consider a complete arc.

I am going to oultine the stages of Spike's arc, and why I consider his arc to be a complete arc and then compare Zuko and see if he checks all of the same boxes that Spike does.

There's really no objective criteria for judging redemption arcs. It's not like the hero's journey. So, in order to give this post some organization I'm going to make up my own template based on Spike's character arc, because I consider it to be a complete arc. I will be judging Zuko based upon how far he progresses through the different stages I outline in Spike's arc.

These stages are Origin - usually a tragic backstory, but is just a backstory that describes why the villain is the way they are currently and what circumstances led to their current motivations.

Season Two Spike - The character is just a straightforward antagonist, though usually with some redeemable qualities so the audience can see the potential for a future redemption. In terms of character arc, I would say that this is when a character is entirely guided by their mistaken assumption of the world.

Season 4 Spike - A dramatic change in circumstances for the villain, that forces them to re-evaluate their life. The antagonist usually loses their spot as main antagonist to someone else, or stops being an antagonist entirely but also has yet to join the good guys. This major shift in circumstances is what causes the antagonist to start re-evaluating themselves, it's meant to be a shocking eye opener.

Season 5 Spike - The hero now wants to be on the side of the good guys, but for all of the wrong reasons. They make overtures at redemption, but it's not true redemption yet because while they might be trying to do the right thing it's for mostly selfish reasons, or they still don't know what right and wrong truly are.

Season 6 Spike - Character regression, this is an inevitable part of almost any redemption arc, and honestly should be a part of good character arcs. Basically, the character regresses right before the big change, they get worse before they can get better, this is what adds tension to the story. This regression is necessary because a temporary reversion to their old self, and overcoming that regression is a way to demonstrate that the character has indeed permanently changed.

Season 7 / Season 1 of Angel - Spike The character is truly redeemed because they have done the work that they need to change, and as proof of that they have re-evaluated their previously flawed moral code, and now have invented a new set of morals to follow and live by. This is what I consider the most important part of a redemption arc, the character has to show proof that their way of thinking has changed. Every character starts with a flawed understanding of how the world works, and one of the biggest benefits of going through a character arc is the wisdom gained as a part of that journey. Every character arc should end with the question: "So, what have you learned?"

ORIGIN: The Storm vs Fool for Love

So this is going to start out making Zuko look like a way better character than Spike, but bare with me for a second. Zuko and Spike both receive entire episodes devoted to their backstories (Zuko gets two, but we're only discussing the Storm for now).

In the storm we learn the circumstances for Zuko's banishment, in parallel to learning exactly why Aang ran away from his own destiny as the avatar and how he ended up frozen in Ice. During the course of the episode, after Zuko orders his crew to sail right into a storm they start to express their displeasure about Zuko's treatment of them until Iroh takes one man aside and explains how Zuko was banished. That Zuko used to be a more idealistic prince, who was banished because he spoke up in a war meeting against the sacrifice of young fire nation soldiers. That the Zuko of the past was punished for trying to defend fire nation citizens and that's why the current Zuko is so desperate to find the avatar to restore his honor he disregards the safety of his crew.

At the end of the episode we are shown a glimmer of the old Zuko who once spoke out against sacrifice soldiers when he goes out of his way to save the life of one of his crewmen during the storm and drags them back onboard.

Spike's origin was that he's bad poet, and everyone laughed at his poems so he decided to become a vampire.

See when I describe it like that, it makes Zuko sound like such a better character, because his backstory is obviously more sympathetic. If the reason Zuko was banished was because everyone laughed at his bad poetry, I think it would be much harder for audiences to connect with him on an emotional level.

However, Spike's backstory works in spite of the fact that it's not immediately sympathetic. It doesn't need to be a tragic backstory, because it establishes the same thing that Zuko's does, once Spike was a normal person before he was led astray.

Both of these backstories exist to portray the humanity of the antagonist, and also the reasons why they want the thing they want. I'm going to simplify both characters for the sake of comparison, but arguably both Spike and Zuko want the same thing. They both want love and approval from an external source. They are both chasing love, for Zuko it's chasing his father's love and approval, and for Spike it's chasing first Drusilla's love, an d then Buffy's. Both are also willing to completely remake themselves into someone they're not in order to get their love, Zuko acts like a much harsher version of himself that's obsessed with war and conquest because he thinks that's what his father wants. Spike basically remakes his entire personality depending on the person he's in love with, he decides to be a good guy only because he falls in love with Buffy and decides that if he's good now Buffy will love him back. However, before that Spike remade himself into a vampire because he thought that is what would impress Drusilla.

They've both completely remade themselves in order to please someone else, but there remains some hints of their original self. By the end of the episode after spending the whole episode acting out their aggressive persona, Spike and Zuko give a sign that the person they were in their origin story is still there. Zuko saves a crewmember from drowning, and Spike ends the episode trying to comfort Buffy even after she's rejected him and made it clear that there's no chance of a relationship happening between the two of them.

Buffy looks up at the sound, her face wet with tears. BUFFY What do you want now? Spike is about to pull the trigger when he sees her tears and through them, her pain. His rage vanishes in an instant. SPIKE What's wrong? BUFFY I don't want to talk about it. Spike lowers the g*n. SPIKE Is there something I can do? Buffy says nothing, the reality of her mother's situation hitting her like a steel weight, overcoming her. Spike sits down next to her and tentatively pats her back, trying to comfort her. She lets him.

Both of these episodes follow the same formula, and the Storm is my favorite episode of Avatar the Last Airbender, but I'm still going to elaborate right out the gate on why I think "Fool for Love" does a better job at spinning an origin story.

This is where I'm going to start outlining one of my major problems with Zuko's redemption arc too, in that it cares more for audience pathos than it does the actual events that happen in the story. Zuko basically wears a t-shirt that signals he's going to get a redemption arc, so a lot of the steps in his arc feel signposted.

Starting with the episode itself, like we learn about Zuko's tragic backstory, because Iroh was explaining to the crew that this is the reason why Zuko was treating him poorly, and therefore the crew should feel sorry for him. This isn't who Zuko really is, this is who he is as a result of trauma, and let me explain the trauma so you will now sympathize and understand him better.

It's not bad, it's just less organic. You can see the author's fingerprints what I'm saying, and remember this is my favorite episode of ATLA so I'm not saying this is a bad episode. I just prefer Fool for Love because it's more interested in exploring Spike as a character, it's not telling the audience to feel sorry for him.

Fool for Love is an episode that begins when Buffy accidentally slips and is stabbed by one of the random mook vampires, the ones she usually kills without a problem every night. This small slip almost killing her leads to her to have a crisis, as she tries to figure out what went wrong exactly.

She ends up going for Drinks with Spike, and pays him money to tell her about the two slayers that he's killed in the past one hundred years. She's hoping that since Spike has killed two slayers, he can tell her what her mistake was, what her weakness is so she can fix it.

Spike who has fallen in love with Buffy that point, ends up treating the entire night like a date. He tells Buffy his entire life story, as a means of answering her question. First that he was nothing more than a poet named William Pratt, called William the Bloody for his Bloody Awful Poetry. That he fell in love with sire Drusilla and had an eternal love with her that lasted more than a hundred years, and in the process reinvented his personality from a sensitive poet to a violent vampire that relished in bloodshed. That he eventually became bored with his immortal existence and started to chase after slayers because they are the only thing that can kill vampires as powerful and old as he, and killing one in the boxer rebellion, and one in the 1970s.

In between the story of the two slayers he killed, we also see a highlight reel of Spike's romantic failures. Spike confessed to a girl asking her to see that he was a good person deep down only for her to say she was beneath him.

SPIKE I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man and all I ask is that... that you try to see me- CECILY I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me. She stands and walks off, leaving Spike devastated and alone.

Spike then is eventually rejected by Drusilla his forever love, and the girl he became a vampire to try and impress. Then at the end of the episode he's rejected by Buffy in the exact same manner.

BUFFY Say it's true. Say I do want to. She shoves him to the ground and looks down at him with disgust. BUFFY It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. She tosses the wad of cash at him contemptuously. BUFFY You're beneath me. Buffy turns and walks off into the night, leaving Spike alone in the dark alley.

Spike became a vampire because he was too sensitive to survive as a normal person. Yet deep down he wanted to be loved for who he is, not for the person he is pretending to be, yet every time he asks someone to see the real him he's told again and again that he's beneath them.

The entire episode is basically about all the ways that Spike changed himself, in order to hide that softer version of himself and try to be a version of himself someone would loved, and how that failed over and over again.

A character needs to start out the story with a flawed understanding of the world. Spike and Zuko both have a very flawed understanding of what will get them love, Spike sees becoming a vampire as the greatest thing that ever happened to him, and Zuko sees that he needs to be a better, more vicious prince like his father wanted him to be and capture the avatar to restore his honor.

BUFFY So you traded up on the food chain. Then what? SPIKE No, please. Don't make it sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel. Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through me. Getting k*lled made me feel alive for the very first time. I was through living by society's rules. Decided to make a few of my own. Of course, in order to do that... I had to get myself a g*ng.

However, the story is much harsher on Spike. No one really takes Buffy aside and sits down to explain to her "Here's why you should be more patient and understanding with Spike, because before he turned into a vampire he was a very different person." No, in fact Spike explaining his entire backstory to Buffy doesn't win him any sympathy points in her eyes at all. After learning everything about him he's still "beneath her".

Arguably it doesn't really engender much sympathy with the audience either. Who is more sympathetic, the guy with the obvious facial scar who was kicked out of his home by his abusive father and is now pursuing the avatar because it's the only way for him to return home... or the guy who's a bad poet who's sad because his girlfriend dumped him.

However, I find Spike's to be more complex because it doesn't tell the audience that Spike is sympathetic and redeemdable, it just shows that through his last action of choosing to comfort Buffy when he saw her crying alone on the porch in spite of the fact she rejected him. Zuko's origin story episode does the same thing, and if you had cut the fact that Iroh was explaining this to Zuko's crew so they'd go easier on him it'd be entirely show and not tell.

Jeel: I'm sick of taking his orders! I'm tired of chasing his Avatar! I mean, who does Zuko think he is? Iroh:Do you really want to know?

Imagine if it was Zuko explaining his backstory to one of his crewman, and then at the end much like Buffy the crewmember went "I don't care you're still an asshole" and then Zuko had to save them anyway. That would make the moment feel a lot less telegraphed and a lot more earned.

SEASON 4 of Buffy:

I'm going to skip the seasons where Spike and Zuko are main antagonists, because I think I already established what their flaws are, and what their want/need arc is. Both Zuko and Spike wrap themselves in anger and aggression, in order to mask their softer sides. They want love, and they pursue it by trying to earn it by accomplishing external goals, instead of doing the hard work of fixing themselves. They need to become better people, but they ignore this need in favor of their want.

This is most apparent in Season 2 of Avatar, and Season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In season 4, Spike returns to Sunnydale only to have a chip put in his head that shocks him every time he tries to harm a human. Now that he's incapable of being a vampire, Spike has an existential crisis that leads him to re-evaluate his life. However, Spike does not conclude that he needs to become a better person.

In fact Spike spends the entire season in denial of the change of the circumstances in his life. Instead of trying to change for the better, Spike just wants to get the chip out of his head so he can go back to being a vampire.

Denial of the change in circumstances, and wanting to go back to being their old selves is what colors this stage of the redemption arc. Zuko also, is declared an enemy of the fire nation after his actions in the seige of the north pole. He no longer has his ship and crew, has to live the life of a refugee, and his much more competent sister takes down hunting the avatar.

During this season changing sides does not cross Zuko's mind either. He spends the entire season wanting to go back to being a prince, and in denial of his change of circumstances. He cannot accept that he a royal is now living the life of a beggar. He steals an ostrich horse from a couple who helps heal his uncle. He declares himself the prince of the fire nation after fightnig off some bully earth army soldiers and then acts confused as to why the locals seem disgusted with him.

All characters start the story with an incorrect view of how the world works, and instead of mending their incorrect beliefs, Zuko and Spike in this respective stage of their arcs choose to keep clinging to those incorrect beliefs. They are still pursuing that want, and ignoring what they need even though that want gets farther and farther out of reach. The idea that Spike might want to change sides to the good guys does not even occur to him, because he defines himself as an evil monster.

Spike: (looking around) I admit, it's a bit of a fixer-upper. Needs a woman's touch. (looks at Giles) Care to have a crack at it? Giles: While I'd loved to go on trading jabs with you, Spike, perhaps I'll come to the point. As much as it pains me to say it, um, I owe you a debt of gratitude for the help you provided me in my recent . . . metamorphosis. Spike: (rubbing a crick out of his neck) Stuff the gratitude. You owe me more than that, mate. Giles pulls out a small bundle of dollar bills and offers it to him. Giles: Three-hundred. Count it if you'd (Spike snatches it out of his hand). . . like. Spike: I'll do that. While Spike starts counting the money, Giles looks the place over. Giles: Um, thinking about your affliction and, uh, your newfound discovery that you can fight only demons; it occurs to me that (chuckling) I realize this is completely against your nature but I-I-I-- Has it occurred to you that there may be a higher purpose-- Spike: Ugh! You made me lose count. (faces him) What are you still doing here? Giles: Talking to myself, apparently. Spike: Well piss off, then. (indicates the money in his hands) This bit of business wraps up any I got with you and your Slayerettes. From here on I want nothing to do with the lot of you. Giles: Your choosing to remain in Sunnydale might make that a little difficult. Spike: Well you and yours will just have to show a little restraint is all. Get out. Giles doesn't say anything and heads for the door. Spike: (following) And I don't want you crawling back here knocking on my door pleading for help the second Teen Witch's magic goes all wonky or little Xander cuts a new tooth. We're through. You got it? Giles opens the door and Spike flinches away from the brightness. He looks over his shoulder at the vampire and his eye twitches. His feelings might be a little hurt. Spike: (callously) Honeymoon is over. Giles leaves without a word.

Spike in particular receives help from the good guys several times, and refuses to change sides because of his denial of his change in circumstances. When Spike first escapes after getting chipped, he receives shelter from Buffy and Giles, lives with them under hiding for a long time, only to spit on them several times and learn nothing from the experience. At the end of the season he even betrays them to the bad guy for the chance at having his chipped removed so he can go back to being a vampire.

Zuko receives an offer from Katara to help heal Iroh with the same hostility. Though, there are more consequences to Spike spitting in the face of the Scooby Gang, because in season 5 and season 6 when he decides he wants to start getting along with them because he's in love with Buffy they are all reluctant to let him join because they all collectively hold him accountable for his previous behavior.

Either way though the pattern of behavior is the same, Zuko and Spike refuse to acknowledge the changes to their lives and leap at the opportunity to go back to their old life. They only think about their wants to the point where it distracts them to the reality of the situation.

Iroh: So, the Blue Spirit. I wonder who could be behind that mask ... Zuko:[Sighs and takes off the mask.] What are you doing here? Iroh: I was just about to ask you the same thing. What do you plan to do now that you've found the Avatar's bison? Keep him locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him? Zuko: First I have to get it out of here. Iroh:[Starts yelling.] And then what!? You never think these things through! [Points at him.] This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go! Zuko: I would have figured something out! Iroh:No! If his friends hadn't found you, you would have frozen to death! Zuko: I know my own destiny, Uncle! Iroh: Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you? Zuko: Stop it, Uncle! I have to do this! Iroh: I'm begging you, Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want?

Both Zuko and Spike are refusing to answer the big questions, and only focusing on getting what they want, even as what they think they want gets farther and farther out of reach.

I'm not going to speak too unfavorably of Zuko's arc in comparison of Spike's here, because the denial of both characters is portrayed well except to say that Spike's is harder hitting. If only because as I'll cover later, the Good Guys actually remember the multiple times they saved Spike's life and he spat in their faces for it, and this infleunces their behavior towards him in later seasons and makes his redemption arc harder.

SEASON FIVE of BUFFY

This part I'm going to have to go slightly out of order because Spike follows this order, in season 5 he redeems himself for the wrong reasons, in season 6 he regresses as a character, and in season 7 he finally redeems himself for the right reasons after climbing back from his lowest point and committing to the work of self improvement. The regression stage is important because it's what shows the audience that the redemption will stick, that the character won't fall back on bad habits.

Zuko's arc is slightly out of order. Instead of the redeeming himself for false reasons, he skips right to the character regression stage. He chooses to go back to the fire nation, spends ten episodes regressing as a character after betraying his uncle in favor of everything he's ever wanted, and then finally after the Day of Black Sun joins the good guys in order to correct his mistake.

However, I think by skipping the "redeems himself for the wrong reasons" stage we are missing out something critical, which is why Zuko's redemption in the last half of season 4 reads to me as so rushed and incomplete. Now, let me attempt to explain the reasons for my reading, by explaining what I think is so brilliant of Spike's arc in Season 5 of Buffy.

To begin with I am going to explain what I mean by Spike is redeeming himself for the wrong reasons. In order to do that I am going to borrow a lot of quotes from this meta on ao3, Spike, Buffy, Angel & Romanticism.

When I say Spike is redeeming himself for the wrong reasons, what I mean is Spike is genuinely trying to help the good guys, but his understandings of good and evil are flawed because he is a soulless monster without a conscience that helps him judge between good and evil. For Spike, much like Zuko, most of his jugdements are based on what he thinks will give him approval. He is chasing external validation from others, and therefore he has no internal moral code. Even when Spike is trying to help out the good guys in Season 5, his motives are impure (he's just trying to score good boy points because he thinks if he demonstrates he's a good person Buffy will fall in love with him). He also has not truly changed, because Spike is still seeking external validation, he just wants Buffy's validation instead and he thinks acting like a good guy is how he will earn it. He's changed the person he's trying to please, but he hasn't really changed anything about himself.

Yet, Spike spends the entirety of season 5 convinced that he is a monster who is redeeming himself. That is one interesting layer of both Zuko and Spike's arcs, they both think they are on journeys of redemptions. Zuko thinks that capturing the avatar will redeem his honor, because in the eyes of his violent culture that is what will redeem him by fire nation standards. He doesn't stop to think whether or not fire nation standards are incorrect, or like Uncle suggests whether this is his destiny or jsut a destiny someone else forced upon him.

Spike on the other hand sees himself as a romantic figure, much like Zuko. When he falls in love with Buffy, he convinced that loving Buffy is what redeems him and he will become a good guy out of love for her. Just like Zuko, he views himself as a protagonist of a story about a man on a redemption quest but has absolutely no idea what true redemption would even entail.

However, Buffy goes a lot harder on deconstructing Spike's view of himself as a romantic hero. Spike is a poet, he is a romantic, he sees the world through a certain romanticized lens like it is a story where he is the main character and Season 5 goes through great lengths to disabuse him of that notion.

Moreover, the episode reveals his entire aesthetic and personality to essentially be a construct. But most tellingly of all, it reveals him to be an idealist. Spike is not just a performance artist; he yearns for the “effulgent”, for something “glowing and glistening” that the “vulgarians” of the world don’t understand. In other words, he yearns for something bigger and more beautiful than life: something romantic. Later, he chases after “death, glory, and sod all else.” Spike may be a “fool for love”, who has a romantic view of romantic love specifically, but the episode is very clear about the fact that he is also a romantic more generally. When Drusilla turns him, she doesn’t tempt him by telling him she’ll love him forever. She tempts him by offering him “something…effulgent”. (Which, in typical Spike form, the episode immediately undercuts by having him say “ow” instead of swooning romantically). The fact that “Fool For Love”, Spike’s major backstory episode, is so determined to paint him as a romantic–and in particular, a disappointed, frustrated romantic–that it is willing to contradict canon to do so, tells you that this choice was important for framing Spike and his new, ongoing thematic role. (Impalementation)

Zuko and Spike both start out with a flawed understanding of the world. They have this certain narrative about themselves, and if they follow the script then things should work out the way they expect it to. Zuko's script is if he brings the avatar back home he'll earn his father's love and restore his honor, which is continually frustrated by the fact that Zuko is not the person that he is trying to be. He's not competent enough to bring the avatar back, not ruthless enough to survive in the world of fire nation politics. He's doing everything he can to follow the story, but the story keeps proving to be false and Zuko can't cope because he's working with a flawed understanding of the world., The narrative lens which he applies to everything is twisted by Fire Nation propaganda and his own trauma, and because he hasn't seen anything else he can't see it.

Spike is basically doing the same thing, he is a vampire who has read both Dracula and Anne Rice, he knows the tropes of the soulful vampire. As impalementation points out above Spike is a romantic and a disappointed romantic at that, he longs for a world that plays out like the stories he's read, longs to roleplay the chivalric romance of a knight protecting their love, first with Drusilla and then with Buffy, only to be disappointed at every turn. Spike has read lots of books, and he too thinks that reality is supposed to function like a story though in Spike's case it's a love story between a loyal knight and the one they serve, and when reality goes off script Spike cannot cope.

We’ve talked in the past about how season five is all about the tension between the mythical and the mortal–between big, grand, sweeping narratives, and the reality of being human. Buffy is the Slayer, but she’s also just a girl who loses her mother. Dawn is the key, but she’s also just a confused and hormonal fourteen-year-old. Willow is a powerful witch, but she also just wants her girlfriend to be okay. Glory is a god, but she’s also a human man named Ben, and finds herself increasingly weakened by his emotions. And Spike embodies this tension perfectly. He’s a soulless vampire with a lifetime of bloodshed behind him, but he’s also this silly, human man who wants to love and be loved. He wants big, grand things, but every time they are frustrated by a Victorian society, a rejection, a chip, a pratfall, or dying with an “ow”. Furthermore, his season five storyline is all about the tension between loving in an exalted, yet often selfish way, versus loving in a “real” or selfless way. (Impalementation).

Both ATLA and Buffy explore the idea that these characters are following false narratives, that they're thinking of themselves like characters in a story. ATLA goes a long way to deconstruct what Fire Nation propaganda is, and the way Zuko's understanding of honor is tainted by the culture he grew up in, that despite being obsessed with honor he doesn't really understand what restoring honor would truly mean. However, it doesn't go to quite the lengths that Buffy does, in completely peeling away the romanticism until the reality is left underneath.

All throughout Season 5, every time Spike attempts to be good it's purely transactional. Spike thinks of himself as a vampire who is redeeming himself out of love, so he thinks if he starts performing good deeds that Buffy will begin to see him in a different light. Only to be rebuffed (haha) again and again when characters refuse to play along to his script.

Rupert Giles : We are not your friends. We are not your way to Buffy... There is no way to Buffy... Clear out of here. And Spike, this thing... get over it ...

The Scooby Gang doesn't want him hanging around because he spent all of season 4 spitting in their faces every time they tried giving him a chance.

So at first, Spike’s “deeds” tend to be shallow and vaguely transactional. He tries to help Buffy in “Checkpoint” even though she doesn’t want it (and insults her when she doesn’t appreciate it), he asks “what the hell does it take?” when Buffy is unimpressed by him not feeding on “bleeding disaster victims” in “Triangle”, he rants bitterly at a mannequin when Buffy fails to be grateful to him for taking her to Riley in “Into the Woods”, and he is angry and confused when Buffy is unmoved by his offer to stake Drusilla in “Crush”. But these incidents of self-interested narrativizing are also continuously contrasted with scenes in which Spike reacts with real generosity, or is surprised when he realizes he’s touched something emotionally genuine. When Buffy seeks him out in “Checkpoint”, his mannerisms instantly change when he realizes she actually needs real help (“You’re the only one strong enough to protect them”), rather than the performed help he offered at the beginning of the episode. At the end of “Fool For Love” he’s struck dumb by Buffy’s grief, and his antagonistic posturing all evening melts away. He abandons his romantic vision of their erotic, life-and-death rivalry in favor of real, awkward emotional intimacy. In “Forever” he tries to anonymously leave flowers for Joyce, and reacts angrily when he’s denied—but this time not because he wanted something from Buffy. Simply because he wanted to do something meaningful. (Impalementation).

Season 5 goes to great lengths to show the duality between the real and the romantic, when Spike's actions are motivated by his grand ideas of romance, and when the real selfless gestures of affection are shown.

Expressly, Spike does not get a reward, even for his real moments of generosity. The season begins with Buffy telling Spike that she's beneath her. At the end of Season 5, Spike's realization is that Buffy doesn't love him, but she treats him like a man and that's enough, and he has that realization when she's standing on top of a staircase still above him. Spike has learned in some part the difference between real selfless love, but he isn't immediately given what he wants for it. The reward is the revelation itself, a one hundred year old vampire slowly learning what real love is.

The season doesn't even reward Spike for acting like a true selfless knight at the end of the season, because even after he laerns how to finally be selfless the romanticsism is ripped away. Spike no longer makes demands of Buffy's love, and he's happy just being able to help fight with her and protect her, and he fails to both protect Buffy's sister Dawn in spite promising to, and is unable to do anything but watch Buffy jump to her death.

Spike spends the entire season trying to redeem himself for the wrong reasons, and even when he finally does start fighting for the right reasons he's not magically rewarded because Buffy the Vampire Slayer is much more interested in the reality of exploring what it would mean for a soulless monster to redeem himself even though the universe doesn't give him a reward for getting enough good boy points, then it is the romantic story of a beast being saved by the power of his selfless love.

SEASON SIX of BUFFY

In season Six of Buffy, and the first half of Season 3 of Avatar the Last Airbender, both Spike and Zuko hit their character regression and lowest points after being given everything they think they want. For Spike that is a relationship with Buffy that quickly spirals out of control, and for Zuko that is his father's approval and a seat at his father's side in the war room.

When Zuko returns home to the fire nation, he finds himself too changed to be satisfied by the things he thought he wanted when he was thirteen. This leads him to succumb to paranoia, send assassins after Aang, have frequent explosions of anger, and finally do some deep introspection.

Zuko: [Turning around.] For so long I thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. I'm back home now, my dad talks to me. Ha! He even thinks I'm a hero. [Close-up of Azula, who smiles.] Everything should be perfect, right? [Aerial view of campsite.] I should be happy now, but I'm not. [Turning back to the others.] I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why!

Spike and Zuko are both given what they want, just when they were starting to learn to let go of the idea of chasing that want and it throws them for a loop. The scoobies begrudgingly accept Spike's presence, and Buffy begins to reciprocate Spike's affection for the first time. Only for that relationship to spiral into one that is mutually unhealthy and codependent.

The regression brings about an identity crisis in both characters. As Zuko and Spike both are still trying to cling to stories in order to provide them with answers for who they are, and what they are doing wrong. Except Zuko is starting to see through the fact that most of the stories the fire nation told him are lies.

Buffy finds herself unable to live up to her personal ideal, and Spike becomes confused about what ideal he’s supposed to be living up to. As their identities dissolve, both of them try to fill the emptiness with different stories. As for Spike, his identity begins to dissolve and he uses romantic stories as a crutch to tell himself who he is, he plays the brooding vampire boyfriend because he is "no longer a monster" but he can't be a man either.

From their very first kiss, it’s clear that the Buffy and Spike relationship will be about using stories to hide out from the confusion of life. Notice how Buffy’s line that “This isn’t real, but I just wanna feel” is overlaid by the trappings of a cliche Hollywood clinch. It’s less to me about what Buffy “really” feels for Spike, and more of a meta statement: stories aren’t real, but they do make you feel something. And that’s what Buffy wants. Their kiss is the culmination of Buffy trying and failing to be the things expected of her. She tries to dress up like the bot at the end of “After Life”, she tries to act the competent applicant in “Flooded”, she tries on all sorts of identities in “Life Serial”, and in “Once More, With Feeling” she sings openly of how she cannot either live up to her Slayer self, or “be like other girls.” (One of the most brutal images in season six to me, and which foreshadows this arc, is Buffy in “Bargaining, Part Two” in her black funeral dress, watching the idealized Buffybot in white get ripped to pieces). Spike, similarly, has been at a crossroads of identity for years. In season four, he tried to cling to the “bad” identity the Initiative stole from him, and in season five, he tried to replace that identity with a noble, Knightly, Lover identity instead. But when Buffy pulls that identity out from under him too, treating him not “like a man” but as a “dead man” who “isn’t real”, the longstanding shakiness of his selfhood becomes undeniable. (Impalementation).

Either way what the regression demonstrates for both characters is that no change they try to make ever sticks, because their sense of self is so shaky, because for both Zuko and Spike they have been building up themselves based entirely around what other people want. In order to have a stronger sense of identity, they'd have to stop clinging to stories which provide them an easy answer to who they are and instead figure out who they want to be.

Spike is quite literally forced to re-evaluate who he is when he is no longer allowed to play the part of a monster. The ugliness of reality, and of Spike's actions when he does the REALLY BAD THING (which I'm not discussing because I don't want to put a trigger warning on this post) breaks him free of any kind of role he's trying to play.

SPIKE: You know, everything used to be so clear. Slayer. Vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It’s always been that way. I’ve tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy… (grimacing in anguish) It isn’t supposed to be this way! He grabs a piece of furniture and shoves it over, with accompanying crashing noises. SPIKE: (angrily) It’s the chip! Steel and wires and silicon. (sighs) It won’t let me be a monster. (quietly) And I can’t be a man. I’m nothing.

Both Spike and Zuko are put through character regression for two reasons, one to illustrate to them that the things that they wanted aren't what they want and won't make them happy, and two to make them question the stories that they've been told to strip away romanticism, and be real people.

In order to grow as people, they must first learn to question all of the stories they've been told, and stop listening to stories and think of what they want, to form their own identity. The only way to change as a person, is to... look at yourself critically as a person.

Thus the resolutions of Buffy and Spike’s arcs in season six are all about personhood and change. They’re about letting go of stagnant, destructive illusions and embracing the idea of living and growing in the world. They’re about seeing beyond romantic roles, and accepting responsibility for one’s own identity. (Impalementation).

This is where I once again will argue that spike's redemption is superior, because while Zuko and Spike both reach their lowest points it's Spike who actually has all of his narratives stripped away and is challenged to become his own person and think about how he is and what he wants, whereas Zuko never fully stops thinking of himself as a romantic hero. By the end of season 6, Spike is on a journey to learn who he is as a person, whereas on the day of Black Sun and the rest of Season 3, we're still following the story of a prince on a journey of redemption.

It's because by the end of season 6, Spike's journey has entirely focused on the internal, how can he be a man? If he's a soulless monster, then is it possible for him to be a person living in the world like Buffy is? On the other hand, Zuko's arc never changes from an external to an internal goal.

Zuko is still tied up in notions of destiny and honor like he is a main character in a story.

Iroh: Because understanding the struggle between your two great-grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself. [Zuko sits down, with his head facing down.] Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. But, there is a bright side. [Zuko looks up.] What happened generations ago can be resolved now, by you. Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world. (Season 3, the avatar and the firelord).

If Iroh didn't tell Zuko that good and evil were at war inside of him, and that he's from a special bloodline because he's descended from both Roku and Sozin and therefore this means it's a part of his destiny to bring balance would Zuko have done the same amount of self reflection?

While Spike is faced with unrelenting reality, Zuko has the notion that he is a romantic hero reinforced over and over again, most particularly by Iroh. Spike doesn't have anybody sit there and point out for him that he's at war with himself and doesn't know whether to be a man or a monster, because Spike is actually capable of self reflection. Whereas, Zuko seems to do everything because he's told that destiny said so. He doesn't move until he's told he's the romantic hero following a pre-planned destiny.

Zuko: But I've come to an even more important decision. [Closes eyes and momentarily pauses.] I'm going to join the Avatar and I'm going to help him defeat you. Ozai: [Smugly.] Really? Since you're a full-blown traitor now and you want me gone, why wait? I'm powerless. You've got your swords. Why don't you just do it now? Zuko: Because I know my own destiny. Taking you down is the Avatar's destiny. [Puts his swords away.] Goodbye.

Zuko is allowed to play the part of a character in a story and because of that he doesn't reach the same level of self-evaluation as Spike. He certainly tells us some things, like that he's learned that the fire nation is wrong, and that the war needs to stop but once again these things are more like telegraphed to us then actually shown onscreen.

Zuko's arc isn't really about learning that the fire nation is evil, like that's a part of it, but what his arc is really about is learning that his father was abusive and instead of living to please his abusive father he needs to figure out what type of person he wants to be.

Which is why I compare him to Spike, a character who's arc revolves around love, who isn't a part of a fascist regime currently colonizing the world like Zuko's is. In fact in spite of Zuko witnessing the poverty of the world and going through the experience of being a refugee, and the one time a bunch of farmers were angry at him for being the prince of the fire nation in Zuko Alone, we don't really see Zuko reflecting on the after effects of the war or the lies of fire nation propaganda. We are told that Zuko's arc is about these things, but most of the actual meat of Zuko's arc is instead Zuko learning that he doesn't have to bend over backwards to please an abusive father. You can stretch it and say that from that Zuko learned that the values his father taught him are all the wrong values, and that he has to learn how to be a proper prince but Zuko is more motivated by abuse and his desire for love then like reflecting upon what is morally right.

Which is why I made the comparison for Spike, but Spike's arc forces him to do a lot more self reflection on who he is, and forcing him to form his own identity outside of what others expect from him, even though Spike's character arc is much more blatantly about his selfish desire to be loved.

Like, what arc contains more self-reflection on the nature of good and evil and what growing to be a better person means, the arc about the boy who was prince of the evil empire, who became a refugee saw how his nation was destroying the world and teamed up with his father's worst enemy to take him down and end the war, or the 100 year old vampire who falls in love with the hero and starts stalking her.

The answer will surprise you.

As I said above it's because after a certain point, due to what probably were time constraints with not having a fourth season to work with Zuko's arc becomes very railroaded.

Spike has to step away from the role of monster, vampire, and lover in order to become a man, and begin the process of forming his own identity because that's what it means to be a person living in this world, to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions.

Zuko is told that it's his destiny to join the avatar and bring balance to the world, and so he does that because it's his destiny, and also he learned that the fire nation was evil at some point offscreen, and then he switches side to join the avatar and decides he wants to be firelord because that's his destiny too.

It's a good arc, and it's mostly complete and servicable, but also lacks a lot of the humanity that Spike's arc has because Zuko until the end is still playing the role of the romantic hero. We never see him break free of that role, and while the arc still works just fine, we are missing out on actually seeing Zuko do the hard work of forming his own identity.

Zuko spends the entirety of his time onscreen chasing external objectives, and by the time he's switched sides he still has an external objective he's chasing, he's still trying to live up to somebody else's standards rather than it's own it's just he's chasing the Avatar, and his Uncle's approval rather than the approval of his father.

SEASON SEVEN OF BUFFY

So season six ends with Spike hitting his lowest point and doing the really bad thing, and Zuko having betrayed team avatar and his Uncle in order to get his throne back. Now both of these characters have to deal with the consequences of what they did at their lowest points and slowly earn back the trust of the heroes and prove that this time they have changed for real.

I will say that Zuko's arc once again perfectly functionable. He spends enough time making it up to each person he's wrong, that it's believable that the gang would trust him. There is enough evidence that Zuko is not going to revert to his old ways again like he did at the end of season 2. He spends enough time onscreen working to earn his redemption and forgiveness of each cast member.

However, therein lies the rub, or at least what rubs me the wrong way about these sets of episode. I spent time during the Season 5 section of this post, discussing why skipping the "redemption for all the wrong reasons" stage is bad, and right here is why. Though this is supposed to be the climax of Zuko's redemption arc, it feels like Zuko is at the exact same place that Spike was in Season 5. Zuko is trying to redeem himself yes, but it's because he wants to earn good boy points and have the main characters trust him.

There is a scene where Zuko yells at Katara and asks why she won't forgive him, and it sounds like something Spike would say at Season 5.

Zuko: This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you? Katara: [Turns around furiously.] Oh, everyone trusts you now?! I was the first person to trust you! [Places her left hand on her heart.] Remember, back in Ba Sing Se. [Points to the ocean.] And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us! Zuko: [Closes eyes in resentment.] What can I do to make it up to you? Katara:[Cuts to shot of her and Zuko standing on the cliff as she approaches him while snapping at him angrily.] You really want to know? Hmm, maybe you could reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King. [Cuts to side-view of her and Zuko.] Or, I know! You could bring my mother back!

Everything about this scene indicates that Zuko's understanding of redemption is flawed, that much like Spike he's attempting to do good things to earn good boy points so the heroes will accept him.

There's nothing wrong with this, it's actually a part of a redemption arc to learn to do good things for the right reasons, not just to earn other people's approval. It's just Zuko himself never gets to the second part, because suddenly doing good things to earn good boy points starts working out for him.

The plot contrives several different field trips so he can make it up to each member of the gang he personally hurt, a field trip with Aang in order to learn about the true nature of fire bending, a revenge trip with Katara, a trip with Sokka to help him get his father out of prison.

However, when the plot doesn't present Zuko with a convenient way to redeem himself he doesn't really seem to care. When Toph tries to tell Zuko about her worries over her parents he blows her off, and when Suki confronts him about burning down her village it's just played off as a joke.

There's actually nothing wrong with Zuko only trying to redeem himself for selfish reasons because he wants the gang to accept him, it just doesn't get addressed. Since everyone accepts Zuko so easily, Zuko's never forced to do the hard work of forming his own identity instead of constantly seeking the approval of the people around him. As a result even though Zuko goes through a character arc, we don't actually learn that much about him as a person or what his true motives are because Zuko never reflects upon those things.

Zuko's arc still works if you view it as a romantic story, but not as a human one. It works as the story of the lost prince coming home and retaking the throne to set the nation on the right path, but not about Zuko the person.

Starting with the big apology both Zuko and Spike make. Zuko's apology is not to Katara, not to Aang, no the most important person he needs to apologize to is Iroh, because Zuko still has not broken away from the idea that he needs to live to please his father figure. His worst crime is not trying to kill the avatar repeatedly, but disappointing Iroh who believed in him.

Whereas Spike at least begins his scene with an apology to the person he hurt the most, Buffy. Spike's arc in season 7 is all about getting a soul, soemthing that makes him now capable of making a moral judgement. The first thing he does after getting a soul is finally feel guilt for the first time in one hundred years, and now with the added benefit of a conscious he realizes how horribly he had been treating Buffy all along.

Spike's big act of redemption is to seek out a soul, so he could become the type of man that would never hurt Buffy again.

Zuko's big act of redemption is to leave the fire nation and join the avatar's side... because, it's his destiny to do so.

See the difference here is Spike is challenged to form his own identity, by literally giving himself a conscience and the ability to feel guilt whereas Zuko just has to follow some destiny that was laid out for him. He doesn't have to question himself beyond "it's destiny". Whereas Spike's soul forces him to self, reflect because now that he's no longer a soulless monster he has to reflect on all the ways he has hurt the people in his life.

Spike's apology scene is also a lot different than Zuko's is to Iroh.

To begin with, Spike only appears to offer his help and tells Buffy that if she wants him to go away he will. He doesn't even tell Buffy that he got a soul for her sake, because he doesn't want her to feel obligated to forgive him. He spends the whole episode hiding it, until we at least reach the cross-hugging scene.

A scene which brilliantly shows the agony of feeling guilty and genuinely understanding you did something wrong and wanting to be forgiven, without prioritizing Spike's feelings of guilt and self-loathing over the feelings of the person he hurt.

SPIKE I dreamed of k*lling you. Keeping an eye on him, Buffy bends down to pick up a large splinter from the broken pews at her feet to use as a stake, if necessary. Spike starts pacing. SPIKE I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak, thinking of you, holding myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending? Angel—he should've warned me. He makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here, in me, all the time. (walks around toward her from behind) The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve, and I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn. Buffy's face shows shock, disbelief and, finally, comprehension. BUFFY Your soul. SPIKE (laughs) Bit worse for lack of use. Buffy turns to face him. BUFFY You got your soul back. How? SPIKE It's what you wanted, right? (looking at the ceiling) It's what you wanted, right? (presses his fingers to his temples, looks down, and walks toward the altar). And—and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did...everyone I— and him... and it... the other, the thing beneath—beneath you. It's here too. Everybody. They all just tell me go... go... (looks back over his shoulder to Buffy) to hell. BUFFY Why? Why would you do that— SPIKE Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev— (looks away) to be a kind of man. Spike walks toward the 6-foot-tall crucifix altarpiece at the front of the chapel. Sounds like he's quoting something. SPIKE She shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. He will be loved. Spike's standing only a foot away from the crucifix, staring at it. SPIKE So everything's OK, right? (sighs) Spike embraces the crucifix, resting one arm over each side of the cross bar, and resting his head in the corner of the vertex. His body is sizzling and smoke is rising from where it touches the cross. SPIKE Can—can we rest now? Buffy...can we rest?

Spike is forced to be very honest about his desire to be forgiven and loved even though he's done bad things, and it is very selfish, and also very human to be grappling with those feelings in front of the person you hurt. Spike's desire for a release from guilt, to finally rest instead of having to struggle with everything he's done.

It's a genuine apology which is accompanied with proof that Spike has taken steps to show that he will never hurt Buffy that way again, that he specifically got a soul in order to become a man who can't hurt her that way.

In comparison this is Zuko's apology scene to Iroh, which is just as heartfelt but also, like everything in Zuko's arc just a little bit easier.

It is a genuine apology, but again my focus is on is Iroh the one that Zuko needs to apologize the most?

Zuko's character is all about his personal conflcits, his relationship with his uncle, and his newly made firends in the gang and learning to do right by them, even though it's supposedly supposed to be about him learning that the fire nation is wrong and how he needs to make the fire nation better.

In comparison, Spike's character arc is framed from the get go about those personal stakes. Buffy is the person he hurt the most so it makes sense he would apologize to her first before anyone else.

In Spike's apology scene Buffy doesn't even forgive him. She walks away and leaves him there hugging that cross. She sheds some tears for him and is clearly moved by his suffering, but the show clearly equates that Spike's suffering and remorse isn't enough until he's provided concrete proof in action that he's on the side of good now.

Spike doesn't get convenient field trips that let him earn back everyone's trust in Season 7. He is forced to help everyone, not because he wants to earn forgiveness, but because he wants to demonstrate that he has changed. What we witness in season 7 is now that Spike has accepted truly that being a good person won't make Buffy love him, he's now forced to grow as a person because he wants to live inside the world just like Buffy does. To grow and change like a real person would, not an undying thing.

Because Spike's arc is about taking this character that was an immortal being who had not changed in a hundred years, and making him want to change, and making him learn what it means to live in the world and continue growing and changing every single day like everybody else does.

Spike's reward for his efforts to be a better person isn't to be told that Buffy forgave him all along but that... she believes he can be a better person.

BUFFY No. I don't hate like that. Not you, or myself. Not anymore. You think you have insight now because your soul's drenched in blood? You don't know me. You don't even know you. Was that you who killed those people in the cellar? Was that you who waited for those girls? SPIKE There's no one else. BUFFY That's not true. Listen to me. You're not alive because of hate or pain. You're alive because I saw you change. Because I saw your penance. SPIKE (lunges violently at her, but chains hold him back) Window dressing. BUFFY Be easier, wouldn't it, it if were an act, but it's not. (walks toward him) You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. SPIKE Buffy... BUFFY (in his face) And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.

Spike isn't told that he's forgiven, or he's some destined hero, the only thing he's reassured about is that he has the capacity for change, which is because Spike's entire arc is about whether an undying monster can finally learn to change and how to be a better than.

I could go on longer, I could mention how in Season 5 of Angel Spike still has to be a good person even though Buffy isn't even around to support him. That's where Spike is truly challenged to stick to his goal of becoming a better person every day, even though he's not going to receive Buffy's love as a reward.

However, I'll end it here because I think I've made my point. Zuko's arc is fine, but it's also missing that final step that Spike's arc. As a redemption arc it's fine because in the eyes of the audience and the characters around Zuko, Zuko has clearly done enough to earn redemption. He has gone through the motions and shown onscreen that he has changed.

As a character arc it feels woefully incomplete for all of the reasons I listed above, because Zuko did not do the work that Spike did of learning what kind of man he wants to be. Zuko ends the story as a hero, but he never becomes his own person like Spike does.

#avatar meta #atla meta #zuko #iroh #btvs meta #buffy the vampire slayer #spike #buffy #buffy summers #avatar the last airbender

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lilvoidcreature13 · 8 months ago

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Why I enjoy the Ships I put Severus in / ships featuring Severus from fanfics that I've read and enjoyed.

Lily X Sev (Snilly): I absolutely adored it when it's done right. Especially when it's from Lily's point of view since she rarely gets expanded on in the canon as fell as in the fandom. I also really love it when it has some elements of queerness. I've read fics where 1. Sev is a girl who still loves Lily; 2. Lily or Sev has some queer feeling about their gender and/or sexuality (either are portrayed as gender-nonconforming/non binary and/or bisexual/ace spectrum) or 3. They genuinely having feeling for each other and just not working out. These elements that I can find in some Snilly Fanfics are absolutely divine, I feel like these fics aren't afraid to look at the reality of queerness in the 1970s, and the complexity of their relationship to one another.

Sirius X Severus (Snirius, Snack, HoundPrince?): there's fics tend to be toxic, sometimes even violent, which isnt everyones cup of tea and I myself have to be in the right mood for it, but I enjoy seeing how these two man mirror each other and also bring out the worst in each other. I, with all my heart, believe that Sirius sees his mom in Severus and Severus sees his dad in Sirius, and it drives them both crazy because neither of them wanted to end up like their parents but cant stop themselves from seeking out what is familiar to them. I also like how a lot of Snack fics explore their experiences with abuse, their lives seem so different yet also similar. There are also some fics where they actually grow to understand one another and start a healthy relationship too, but I don't think they're as prominent as the more toxic versions. I still very much ship them, though!

James X Severus (Jeverus, PrinceChaser): can be just as toxic as SevXSirius but there are more wholesome fics out there of them. I have a love /hate relationship with this particular ship. Like, I like fics where James unknowingly had a crush on Sev the whole time and tries to win him over, but I always end up rooting for Sev to reject him and make him realize his actions have consequences. I've also stopping shipping it as much because of Snape's Worst Memory. I only returned to the fandom this year, before that I was still a high schooler obsessed with shipping, and now that I've matured I see SWM in a new light and can't stand fics between James and Sev when they take place after SWM. There's still plenty of good fics of these two, but I'm not as into the pairing as I use to be. Also James Stan's are really annoying and if I look for content featuring James, I inevitably run into them, so that kind of hinders my enjoyment of the ship.

Remus X Severus (Snupin, MoonPrince? WolfPrince?): again, I have a love hate relationship with this ship. I love how theyre both considered quite, introverted, and nerdy. They also have similar social standing: Remus is a halfblood whose life in constantly in shambles, who finally finds a place where he feels excepted with people who don't hate him for his condition, who then has to sit back and be quite when his friends act up because he's too scared of loosing what he has. Severus was in a similar boat to Remus, except he probably didn't have genuine friendship with the people he spent time with. This is a pretty interesting dynamic to explore, but I can't always enjoy the ship,especially in fics where the impact of Remus' non-action is handwaved. I don't know about you guys, but having a partner who doesn't acknowledge the ways they may have hurt you, even if it's only through inaction, is not a green flag for a partner.

Licius X Narcissa X Severus

I'm just gonna combine the LuciusXSev, NarcissaXSev, & LuciusXNarcissaXSeverus ships into on section, I don't read enough of this ship to have any really strong opinions,but I absolutely adored it when it's platonic. I just love the idea of Narcissa & Lucius acting as Severus' big siblings / parental figures, lord knows he needs people like that in his life. I also don't mind when this ship is more romantic/sexual, but I'm really picky when it comes to those depictions because if Sev is gonna be their third, they gotta treat him right.

Mulciber X Sev:

I adore this ship, it wasn't around when I was first in the fandom but I like how much Bruce is portrayed as a guy who actually loves Severus from the beginning. They very rarely any animosity between the two, which make it easy to consume fluff fics with them because I can buy into the fluff very easily. (Ps. I love it when Bruce calls Sev 'Potions' it's such a jock thing to do, and is also a unique term of endearment.)

Xenophilius Lovegood X Sev:

This stems purely from TikTok and the handful of fics I could find of this pair. Idk where it came from but I love the idea of Luna's oddball dad having a strange relationship with Severus. We've all see that post where the HP characters are matched up with characters from the first war (Harry-James, Ron-Sirius, Remus-Hermione, Neville-Peter, Ginny-Lily, Luna-Severus) and I fully believe that Luna does partially mirror Sev, what with them both being outcasts. Xenophillius, as we saw, also had some strange ideas and had his head in the sky, which I think would clash with Severus personality at first, until Sev eventually learns to tolerate Xenophilius. This ship is pure Crack and I am an addicted for it.

Kingsley Shacklebolt X Severus:

I have no idea why I like this ship, I'm not even a big Kingsley enjoyed but the fanfics are so good. There's one where they get into an arranged marriage and Kingsley is such a good husband!!

Fic is called Come What May by ShadowAceSeverus https://archiveofourown.org/works/48388618

It's what got me addicted to this ship.

#severus snape #bruce mulciber #pro snape #snupin #jeverus #snirius #snulciber #Snilly #snucius #n #snarcissa #Xenophillius Lovegood X Severus Snape #kingsley Shacklebolt X Severus Snape

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eemamminy-art · 3 months ago

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Saw your reblog! Could have sworn I sent an ask in a bit ago but I’ll try again just in case. ^^

Hello! I really enjoy a lot of your Penny/Maru art and headcanons. However, recently I saw you were also fond of Jodi/Caroline. I was curious as to what headcanons you had of the two and/or if you had any possible art for the ship? :0

I did see your other ask, and I was hanging onto it because I actually haven't drawn Jodi/Caroline yet but I wanted to for a while, and didn't have time to reply this week until now! I also knew this was gonna take a while to write up haha so thanks for being patient

this is the first time I've drawn them! I put a little bit of how I draw Abigail and Sam into their features c:

Headcanons and stuff below the cut because it's really long

The whole ship for me spawned from like… when I was first playing stardew, I noticed Caroline has so much dialog about how she's frustrated with Pierre for being so consumed with work that he's absent when it comes to his family. She also doesn't seem to like being a homemaker, having lines about getting takeout often, while Pierre seems to value those things, as shown in that Abigail heart event where he wants her to help with the cooking at home 😬 And in Jodi's case, she's really badly overworked and talks repeatedly about regretting having kids so young and not being able to live her life. Though after learning more about Sam's storyline, I'm a little less empathetic toward Jodi as I initially was because she's the type of mom who takes on more work for herself and then complains she's overwhelmed, instead of like, having her kids or husband do chores to ease the burden. And like of course Jodi and Caroline are always talking together in the plaza, or at festivals 👀

So this is the basis: They're both unhappy with their families/husbands, and I could imagine a scenario where they both just throw it all away for each other. If you'd want it to be extra angsty, you could have them be really conflicted and question whether it was the right choice, but they've already come that far so they're afraid that they wouldn't be able to go back even if they wanted to now. I suppose you could also have them just be cheating on their husbands if that's your thing, but I personally hate infidelity and am really choosy about how and when it's used in a story, so I would be happier with them just cutting ties and running off together.

Since I've started writing my fic, and thus had them in it as side characters, I've started writing their husbands as all being more attentive than in the canon (Demetrius to Robin especially-- I know we're not talking about them currently but I'm such a ride or die for Demetrius I feel the need to say 😂) so I haven't thought as much about this ship as I did right when I very first got into stardew valley. But I think the potential is there!!

Maybe it starts as like.. they're having these green tea afternoons together and Caroline feels so good being appreciated and listened to for once, and Jodi feels so at peace being able to relax even just for a few minutes, that they're like oh god… I kind of want this forever. This, and nothing else. It's a selfish choice but it's also something understandable, given how unhappy they are and how much they've put their families before themselves. What if for once, they put themselves first and just absolutely salt the earth on their way out? 👀

I think also that Caroline gives off the vibes that she's adventurous? It's kinda implied in some of her dialog (I think especially if you romance Abigail?) that she was a wild young woman who never saw herself settling down even though she ultimately did. In Jodi's case, she had Sam so young she never got to properly enjoy her youth. So I think they would have a blast together living out the wild 20's they never got to experience now that they're women in their 40's :3 and they kiss of course that's the most important part 😂

#jodiline #sdv jodi #sdv caroline #stardew valley #sdv #headcanons #replies #sdv fanart #stardew valley fanart

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thatgirlwithasquid · 1 month ago

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do you have any stommy headcanons 👀

me and tumblr/my phone are gonna have a falling out in a fucking minute because this is the third time i've tried to answer this before tumblr has just decided to close out of my response without saving or my phone died abruply even tho it was at 7%

but YES! i do! i have my singular main defined headcanon for them lol. featuring cheating and hints of stomarol because stommy is Like That. to me <3

tommy and steve meet in little school and immediately click. within a month they are Steve And Tommy. theyre practically inseparable, always pulling antics as a pair or parallel playing or bragging to one another. they're the annoying kids who dig up bugs to stick them in the girls' faces to make them run screaming. they each think the other is the coolest kid in the school and is constantly trying to impress them.

carol becomes part of the group not long after. she finds them annoying and gross but she is also secretly amused and impressed by them both. she spends all her time bickering with them until they find themselves as a trio.

at around age 8 tommy realises he has a crush on steve. they were already quite handsy with all their shoving and pushing and occasional hugs but this makes that much worse. steve however is utterly oblivious. he is attracted to tommy but he kinda has always felt that way about tommy and its only a little thing, similar to carol, so surely it's just a friend thing. besides, he has much more noticable crushes on other girls anyway.

by the time they're 9, tommy and carol are boyfriend girlfriend. tommy did also like carol after all, and liking a girl is much easier. besides, carol had a crush on him back. she isn't his first kiss though. in a rare show of vulnerability tommy admits to steve that he's a bit nervous about what would happen if carol wanted to kiss him. for reasons that steve never bothers to consider too hard, he suggests that they kiss so that tommy doesn't have any of that first-kiss pressure whenever it does come to kissing carol.

things are weird for a little while after, but then tommy and carol share their first kiss and things go back to normal.

steve and tommy kiss again on tommy's fourteenth birthday. carol and steve stay later than the other kids at tommy's party since they're his best friends, but carol's dad does eventually come to get her since there is no way he's letting her sleep over at her boyfriends house even if steve is also sleeping over. it happens when they're on tommy's bed, in their pyjamas and talking about something they wont remember later; steve leans in and pecks him on the lips. they kiss a third and fourth time before tommy's mom tells them its time for lights out.

they don't talk about it after, but tommy puts all of his focus into carol to make up for what happened. he doesn't tell her about it. steve starts having a bunch of short-term girlfriends and so begins the king steve persona.

when steve's parents decide he's old enough for them to go off on business trips for extended periods, steve starts having tommy and carol over more. occasionally, when they've been drinking, tommy and steve kiss again. they never mention it. carol catches them one time, grins, gives them each a kiss on the cheek, and then pulls tommy away upstairs with her. they don't have a proper talk about that either, but they do all laugh about it. carol says it was hot and thats that.

the problems only start when nancy comes into the picture. for the first time ever, tommy gets jealous. all steve's past girlfriends have only lasted a month or two and then steve has ended things. things with nancy have only lasted a few weeks but tommy can already tell things are different, and him getting antsy about things makes carol antsy about them too.

he doesn't tell her that he's in love with steve but he thinks she knows. they decide to hate nancy together.

when the big blowout happens and steve never comes crawling back, it hurts. moreso tommy than carol, but he can tell she's not happy either. she starts calling steve tommy's ex. only jokingly, and only ever between themselves. even though they were never dating, tommy starts to think that maybe he really is. he and carol decide to hate steve together too.

#stranger things #stommy #steve harrington #tommy hagan #carol perkins #this is stommy in my heart

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chaccone-cha0s · 4 days ago

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Lost in the Label ~ L.HS pt.18

Pairing: Best friend!Heeseung x F!reader

Trope: Best friends to lovers, College AU, Teasing, bickering, Slowburn

Warnings: Includes cursing, mature themes, mentions of morning wood, intimate scenes, alcohol, drunk Heesseung.

Featuring: Enhypen ot7, Aespa ot4, Jang Wonyoung (Ive), Jeon Jungkook (BTS), Kim Chaewon (Le sserafim)

Synopsis: Heeseung is a constant pain in the ass and does nothing but ruin your life and annoy you. But somehow you feel the need to take care of him and make sure he's okay. This dynamic hasn't changed in over 14 years, but a chain of events changes everything you've ever believed in.

🔗 Prev masterlist Next

•° `♡` °•

You knew you couldn't expose Chaewon for good on your own. Your best bet was someone sneaky, someone who knew gossip and could read people well. And what better person for that then Kim Sunoo?

You told him everything, about the video, about Chaewon and her blackmailing and that's when the planning started.

You had to get close to her, like really close to get rid of that video. While you spent time with her you noticed little details about her 'best friend', Yunjin...

You knew from the moment you saw her that someone was fishy.

She always gave Chaewon that hidden look of hatred.

You noticed it a couple of times and decided to play into it. Yunjin was also trying to accoplish the same thing as you. Taking down Chaewon was only the reason she got close to her in the first place.

You didn't ask why she wanted revenge.

Didn't care that much honestly.

You had too much on your own plate at that moment.

Yunjin had no clue about the video or about Chaeowon blackmailing you. What she did know was her phone password...

You took advantage of that and one day during dance practice you snuck into the locker room and rummaged through her bag. It was subtle, you were the only one there and you let Sunoo handle the situation outside.

He made up an excuse about Chaewon not doing the dance properly and distracted her until you finished deleting the video.

But that wasn't the end of it...

You sent that video to yourself, to inspect it carefully. You had to look at every detail and use it to your advantage.

Chaewon wouldn't just keep the video on her phone though. Yunjin snuck into her dorm one night and deleted it from her computer, laptop and ipad. No one suspected her when she went into Chaewon's dorm in the middle of the day.

Once the video was officially gone you began the counter-attack.

Chaewon had nothing on you now, you could easily go back to hating her and stop the act, but it was still too early. No one saw that video expect you..

Not Sunoo,

Not Yunjin..

Just you.

And in that video you noticed him. Tall man with an unkept beard, he looked older. Way too old to be hanging out with Chaewon and Heeseung.

His voice was deep and always out of frame.

But at the end of it he showed his face. It was a tiny accident, a little slip up on Chaewon's part, yet that was exactly what you needed.

You researched him, found his socials, friended him without her noticing. It took a few tries but Nico agreed to meet with you. He talked about Chaewon and her habit of draining boys' pockets.

You secretly recorded everything.

Nico stupidly went out for a smoke and left his phone with you. You noticed him typing in his password earlier, it was all far too easy. You logged onto his instagram and messenger accounts on your phone and went back to sipping your coffee.

Chaewon and Nico did the rest of the work themselves.

They'd text each other late at night. You had to endure a few nude pics with a disgusted gag but the texts were there. Evidence against them both.

Why did Nico get dragged into all this?

Well he was apart of it all the second he spoke and appeared in that video. The things he said still lingered in your mind and you had to stol yourself from puking.

Everything was ready...

But you waited until her birthday.

I think we all know what happened there...

Guess Chaewon learned not to mess with your best friend.

•° `♡` °•

Some things still bothered you though. Like how if you'd been in town that summer you could've stopped Heeseung from getting into that mess.

The video would never even exist and maybe your best friend would't have been so devastated.

Another big question lingered in your mind.

Did Heeseung even know this video existed?

Was he aware that he was being recorded? From the looks of it, he didn't even remember his name that night.

You and the others left Chaewon's house and crashed Heeseung and Jake's dorm instead. Karina followed you into the kitchen as you drank some water.

The expression on her face told you everything you needed to know. She was waiting for a detailed explanation. Winter noticed the silence between you two.

"Fine I'll tell you."

You said with a sigh as a satisfied smile appeared on Karina's lips. By then the guys were also looking at you, curious as to what you were refering to.

Giselle dragged you to the living room, the two of you sat down on the carpet infront of the couch. Heeseung and his friends were spread out on it, their eyes curious and gaze focused.

Sunoo gave you a quick thumbs up as you began speaking.

"So basically... Chaewon showed me this video, don't ask what it was about! I won't tell you. She threatened to post it online if I didn't do as she said. So for the next 2 weeks shw forced to do all that shit. That's why I was acting that way. I found out about her relationship with that older guy, Nico and got him to admit everything. Then I deleted the video from all of her devices with Yunjin's help. And then... you all know what happened today."

You smiled awkwardly and watched their shocked and blank expressions. Sunoo was giggling in the corner, clearly the only one that was amused.

"Holy shit Y/n." Giselle muttered with a bewildered expression.

"That all happened and you didn't include me? What a fake friend you are..." You grinned at her sarcasm as you smacked the side of her arm.

"You didn't fit into my plans." You defended yourself as she huffed and crossed her arms. She scooted away from you as you dragged her back next to you to give her a side hug.

She accepted your embrace as the other girls threw themselves at you two. Winter and Karina sqeezed tightly as Ningning jumped on you four like she wasn't trying to crush you.

Your laughs and giggles echoed through the living room as Heeseung and the others chuckled to themselves.

"Yo can we join the group hug?" Jake asked as he stood up. He ran like he was about to actually join in.

You screamed in horror, followed by Ningning and Winter's protests. Jake stopped mid-way, laughing at your reactions. The rest of the night (until 3am) you had the time of your life.

You took a sip of your beer as Ni-ki rolled the dice. You were currently playing monopoly and Jay (the richest among you) was about to go bankrupt. 90% of the game was Sunoo and Sunghoon yelling at each other over the rules.

When Jungwon tried cutting in, Ni-ki would jump up and start running around the couch, screaming. Don't ask why he did that. No one knew but it was very entertaining.

Your face was starting to hurt from smiling too much.

You suddenly felt something tug on your shirt from behind. Heeseung tilted his head towards his room, that insistant look was present in his eyes.

You stood up and let him grab your wrist to drag you to his room.

"Byee guys!!"

You waved at them with a smile as Sunoo yelled. "Let her go Heeseung!! Bring Y/n back!" His drunk ass might've even shed a few tears cause of you.

Heeseung shut the door as you sat down on his bed. You watched as he smiled and happily skipped over next to you.

You chuckled at his drunkness and grabbed both of his hands. "You're such a lightweight." You announced and intertwined both of your hands and fingers together.

Heeseung could barely keep his head straight, he leaned into your grip to balance himself, but ended up dropping his head on your chest.

You were about to speak when he abruptly sat up straight, almost bumping his head against your chin. You raised a brow as his fingers untangled from yours.

"You know how much I love you right..??" He slurred his words while looking at you with his starstruck eyes, like you literaly hung the stars for him and in that moment you really did.

You chuckled again and his head tilted to the side. "What's so funny?"

He asked with an offended expression. His pink lips turned into a pout as he stared at you with confused and sparkly eyes. You melted instantly at the sight and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Just stop being so cute!!"

Heeseung giggled and leaned over to the side, he brought you down with him on the bed. His face was fully red from alcohol, a singular vein popped up on his forehead.

"You think I'm cute?" He asked in a giggly voice and hid his face in your shoulder from emberrassment.

You played with the strands of his hair while being fully relaxed. You don't recall how his hands ended up tightly around your waist but you weren't complaining.

His legs tangled up in yours as your other hand rubbed his back in soothing patterns. His breathing slowed, body going limp against yours, but he still fought back the drowsiness.

"Did I tell you about my best friend?" He spoke against your neck as you curiously played along.

"No, tell me about her."

"She's so so pretty, like prettier than anyone. And-and she's really nice and always hugs me like SUPER tight!!" He sqeezed your waist to highlight his words.

You felt your heartbeat quicken, warmth spread in your chest from his words. "Yeah? what else?"

"She'd do anything to protect me, like anything. You should've seen her today. She was so badass..."

Heeseung wanted to add more but his voice came out in a tiny whisper. You felt his hot breath against your neck, his grip around you loosened slightly. He fell asleep while hugging you comfortably.

"I love you too Hee." You whispered and closed your eyes.

•° `♡` °•

One important thought was forgotten that night though.

Oh right..

You were suppost to show Heeseung that video.

He had a right to know. You couldn't keep this secret from him.

The next morning you woke up with the sun shinning in your eyes. You covered your face with your hand as you got comfortable on your pillow.

Wait..

Pillow?

What pillow.

Your eyes finally registered that you'd been using someone's arm as a pillow. It didn't take a genius to figure out who it was.

Heeseung shifted behind you, a small groan left his lips in that groggy morning voice of his. It vibrated through your back, sending shivers down your spine.

His other arm was casually drapped over you, heavy and protective. You could feel his chest pressing against your back, quite literaly leaving no space between you two. Heeseung always loved cuddling as a kid, but Kid Heeseung and grown adult Heeseung were very different.

You felt hot all over, like your best friend was a giant pot pack pressing against you with no room for air.

You shifted in his grasp, hoping to peel yourself off of him slightly. Heeseung didn't budge, didn't even move an inch. Just layed there like an unmovable boulder. You groaned in annoyance but froze in your spot.

Oh?

Oh!

Oh.

Oh my fucking god!!!

This was not real, this was not happening!! It'a just a bad dream, close your eyes and go back to sleep. You kept telling yourself that over and over but it felt real alright.

You didn't dare move.

Shit, you might as well have turned into a wax figure with how still you were.

Heeseung slept soundly behind you, completely unaware of the emberrassing shit he was putting you through... or putting himself?

You let out a heavy breath, blinking rapidly at the close proximety.

It was pressing against you..

LIKE FULLY.

Right in between your ass cheeks too.

You felt like crying.

His hard bulge was right in between your ass cheeks. There!! You admitted it. It was there and it was real.

I mean it was hard.

Shit.

Okay just calm down. You've been in this situation before. At a party, you were on top of him, except he wasn't hard.

On the other hand he had layed on your chest before.

Yeah that's almost the same. Right?

Wrong.

This felt so much more intimate and that much more wrong.

Heeseung moved in his sleep, his arm tightened around you and pulled you back into his chest.

Not only that, but his morning wood pressed into you tighter. You bit your lip and shut your eyes tightly. Oh what the hell man?

Were you really gonna die because a boner pressed into you?

That's pathetic.

Then you remember it wasn't just any boner. It was Heeseung's!! Oh for fuck's sake. You needed to miraculously pass away like right now.

Now!

Right now.

Now?

Guess it's just not your time.

Your best friend's mouth was close to the nape of your neck. You could feel his hot breath fanning your skin, making things even worse than they were.

You shifted slightly, unable to hold your position for long.

Heeseung grunted against your skin. His eyes fluttered open, lips letting out a groan. He realised the position you two were in quickly.

It seemed normal at first, until he looked down at the place between your bodies, which was almost non-existant. Your back was pressed into his chest tightly but more importantly..

Or emberrassingly, he was hard.

Morning wood just had to ruin everything.

He mentaly cursed and tried pulling away to create some distance.

Heeseung regretted that instantly. His head shot back up as he bit his lip to stop a desperate moan. He was panicking now.

You flinched slightly as he moved. He was clearly awake now and trying to pull away which left you sighing mentaly in relief.

That was until he grabbed your hip, pulling you back onto him. You couldn't help but gasp in surprise. You instantly covered your mouth, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

Heeseung's grip was firm on your hip. He buried his face into the side of your neck. His breathy morning voice reached your ears.

"Sorry.. just don't move, please..."

•° `♡` °•

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