#the features both of them hate about each other i think is what they themselves need

[rosalinesurvived]

I feel like people don't get I that the Stark Sisters aren't just two sides of the same coin; they need the attributes others fixate on the other: Sansa isn't and shouldn't be picture perfect: for the love of god let her be angry asides for some childish pettiness and no, Arya isn't always some angry butch petty tomboy assassin; for the love of god let her be gentle.

[nicarnelian]

furever with kaji!

₊˚⊹ featuring: kaji ren x gn! reader

₊˚⊹ summary: when you bring a cat to kaji’s apartment and ask his help in making a decent home for the feline, every request must come with an equivalent reward. for kaji, he thinks kisses are sufficient compensations to your requisition.

₊˚⊹ word count: 1.5k

₊˚⊹ warnings: tooth-rotting cringe fluff, grammar errors!

₊˚⊹ author’s note: binged frieren yesterday, and himmel and frieren occupied my mind, lived on it, rent free 24/7 for the past days! i’m also rewatching 86, bc shinlena are my ogs! anw, enjoy this kaji fic w cats bc i love cats (this is a shameless self-insert fic, if i think abt it) ;)))

kaji ren finds cats tolerable. well, actually, he considers them insignificant to his daily life, so he does not particularly hate them. the only moments where he would come into interaction with those little felines are when the townspeople would either ask him a favor, such as by catching them or feeding them, or when those cats would rub themselves on his feet and legs.

he doesn’t find them annoying though; he actually consider cats something that helps him calm down, shifting his attention to the little furry animals begging for rubs and pats, rather than the rowdy environment that encircled him. but, there were also times when the cats bite him out of affection, and kaji, knowing the person that he is, screams at the animal. afterwards, kaji would flinch as he watches the cat run away from him, feeling guilty as he looks down at the small strands of fur left on his pants.

after a couple of cat interactions, it would take probably another month or two when he would interact or touch a cat properly. all of these cat memories of kaji were brought up by the current situation between the two of you.

the second you knock on his apartment’s wood door, kaji unlocks it, knowing that you would be visiting him. he missed you, even though you do see each other after classes and during weekends. kaji has gotten clingy with you — the type of clingy that continues to seek the presence of the other, the type that opt to hear your voice rather than casual texts on the flat surface of his phone. but now, he kinda regrets opening the door for you. his gaze travels all around your figure, until it stops at a pint-sized, black and white animal that you hug near your chest.

he looks directly at your eyes, “why the hell is that in your arms?”

the both of you stand motionless, as no one dared to break eye contact. you wear a dumb smile on your lips as you giggle at your boyfriend’s statement. you lightly pet the small animal that leans into your touch. “it’s a kitten!”

“i know it’s a damned cat, but why the hell are you here, bringing a kitten in my apartment?!” kaji could not control the volume of his voice properly, causing him to step back as he realizes what he had done to you. you see the guilt in his eyes spreading, as if afraid of the possibility that he might have hurt you from his words. you quickly give a light smile to reassure him, letting him know it’s alright and he didn’t hurt you in any way with his words.

“well, i didn’t know where to bring it! the landlady at my place doesn’t like pets, so here i am!” you continue giving him that beaming grin of yours. kaji finds you insufferable — the way these walls he had built since he was a child quickly dwindle into nothingness when you forced yourself into his life, with that stupid, witless, yet stunningly delicate smile.

kaji notices how your face contorts to ever single emotion possible — from how your eyebrows furrow in seriousness to annoyance whenever you do your assignments , and how they quickly crumple to relief whenever he says the simplest of motivational quotes that he most probably looked up online since he was new to interacting like this.

in months of dating you, he wanted to know everything about you albeit being impossible — but, he was the type to make any possibility a reality. months into your relationship, he has put into immense effort into knowing you, and you reciprocated such actions from your boyfriend. and, it’s safe to say that both of you are still staying strong after almost a year of being with him.

you welcome yourself into his room, which kaji did not mind since he will always think that whatever that is his is also yours. you settle the cat on his chair, much to his dismay though. “hey! it’ll leave random fur!”

you pout at him, “i just need a box and some discarded fabric to make him a home for the meantime. you have some?” kaji knows how much you love cats, which is why he completely abides by your requests. but, of course, every request comes with a equal reward.

“i have some boxes and i plan to throw away some of my clothes…” he mumbles. you extend your hands at him, like a child asking for candy. kaji smirks.

he walks towards your direction, closing the distance as he draws his face near yours. you flinch at his actions due to how sudden and unpredictable kaji has become. you place your hands on his chest involuntarily, as your eyes lock on his pair of gray eyes as well. “w-what is it…?”

kaji doesn’t crack a smile, but instead, pouts. his index finger points towards the skin of his right cheek. you watch him tilt his head, as if showing the skin to you, and the words he uttered were something you had not even expect to hear in a thousand years. “k-kiss.”

you blink at him, as you could see the tips of his ears reddening from what he asked. he just asked… for a kiss? kaji ren? the boy who had always told you that you were insufferable was asking for a kiss?

“w-what?”

kaji’s face fumes into a shade of red, “n-nothing! never mind what i said, c’mere! as f-far as i remember, some of the b-boxes were underneath my bed! i’ll search for—“ kaji blabbers and stammers all over his words. am i going crazy? he, himself, could not believe he had just asked that from you.

kaji gasps when you clasp his entire face with your hands and peck the location of his cheeks that he was pointing earlier. he grabs your wrists as you continue littering his face with soft kisses. kaji feels like his world is spinning, his mind cloudy, his heart thumping so fast and his face burning red already.

you give him a final peck on his lips and smirk, “awww… are you perhaps kiss-deprived, ren? but don’t worry, i’ll kiss you anytime you want!” you beam at him, after seeing his flushed face. kaji doesn’t respond, which makes you somewhat worried.

“ren?”

his eyes stare at his room’s wooden floor, shoulders moving up and down. his bangs cover his eyes, leading you to simply call out his name multiple times until he slowly brings his gaze upwards to yours. you nervously chuckle at him, trying to break the silence between you both as he bores his eyes into you. “ren…?” you smile cautiously.

“you’re insufferable.” and, he closes the distance between your faces, kissing you harshly. it’s certainly not comparable to this kisses you’ve given him earlier, soft and teasing — his kiss is hungry, as if he’s deprived of water and your mouth is the sole salvation. it’s filthy and rough, but you fondle his lips with equal greediness.

you place your hands on both of his shoulders, balancing yourself at the height of the moment between you and kaji. you feel his tongue grazing your lips. he wraps his arms around your waist, one hand casually roaming your body until his fingers tangle with your hair and push you closer to him. it feels like forever — kissing him in a room that just encapsulates who he is: his scent, his mark, his hands that hold you tightly but not too tight, his eyes that only look at you. the entirety of kaji ren being yours and you being his feels like forever to you.

“meow!”

the both of you stop, heads snapping at the cat already purring at your entangled limbs. it’s almost involuntary how both you and kaji stare at each other and laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck. you feel his forehead press against yours as he whispers, “‘m sorry.”

“for what?” you lean your forehead against his. “nothing, just felt like it. since, you know, accidentally raised my voice on you earlier.” kaji smiles as his head finally drops to the intersection of your neck and shoulders, planting soft kisses on the bare skin.

you ruffle his head, “‘s fine. i know you didn’t mean it.” he hums in response to you.

“but for now, you have to help me make this cat’s home! i’ve given you lotsa kisses earlier, so i expect more help from you!” you poke his cheek, trying to force him to look at you. you wriggle away from his embrace, and kaji finally whispers in response to your statement.

“‘m willing to do anything for your kisses. i’m glad to do more even.” kaji smirks at you, causing you to smack his shoulder and ultimately breaking the hug. you’re glad that he’s finally trying to open up more, to talk more. you watch as he kneel towards the cat and let the cat sniff his fingers — a small introduction between kaji and the cat.

you want to savor the moment, and sure you do, because being with kaji ren feels like forever.

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

❤️🤍💙 #RWRB #RWRBMovie #RedWhiteAndRoyalBlue

Casey being iconic-i just love Them so much!!

#CaseyMcQuiston

. https://twitter.com/ThisIsGSage23/status/1791335511728013403?s=19 .

"I just really wanted to explore both of those characters and I wanted to do it in a way that I hadn't really seen before, and also just like as a queer person I want to make queer art and that's what I'm drawn and that's what I'm interested in. So I kind of had these two different ideas, it was like one idea was that I would write a book about this rebellious first kid who's like figuring out that they're queer and what does that mean for their like political aspirations; and the other was about you know sort of a member of the royal family under all of this pressure to carry on this legacy and like what does that mean if they're gay. Um-And I'm just like kind of weighing these two different stories and deciding where I wanted to go and then I just kind of had this moment of like What If I didn't have to choose and it was the same story because they fall in love with each other? And-Um-You know in a classic bisexual fashion I was like I'm gonna have both, so I did!"

"It was really important to me that Alex was explicitly bisexual because like, you know, I really wanted the representation of like this bisexual character and then it was important to me that he was also Mexican like he is in the book and that he was played by a Mexican actor. (..) It was really important to me that, um, I didn't want any, I didn't want Alex or Henry, no matter how their stories were translated to the screen, I didn't want either of them to have any type of, um, like shame or resentment towards themselves for being queer, it was really important to me that the stakes of their lives and their like inner conflict was much more based on like the circumstances that they're in. It's like they don't hate themselves for being gay-or for being bi-they just wish that it was easier to be who they were in the world that they live in."

"..Taylor embodies that so beautifully. (..) I think he's just killer in that role. And Nick, I mean, if you like turned me upside down and shook me like he would fall out my brain as Henry (..) doesn't have blue eyes but they sure are sad eyes and that is exactly what they need to be."

"I see myself in Alex, tremendously, I'm very much in Alex, I relate to him so much, uh, truly, I think he's the most like me of all my characters."

"I very much would love screenwriting to become part of what I do, I'll say it that way."

BTW for everyone interested: Red, White & Royal Blue: Collector's Edition Henry PoV bonus chapter by Casey Mcquiston : https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/752528941905018880?source=share

CMQ spotify (characters' playlists!!) https://open.spotify.com/user/p873j0jdmqn5hye7cakdnub7e/playlists

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

+https://www.vulture.com/article/casey-mcquiston-red-white-and-royal-blue-the-pairing-interview.html

+https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-features/taylor-zakhar-perez-casey-mcquiston-interview-red-white-royal-blue-1235975977/

.https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/758778031058862080?source=share

+

[byizoyas]

tears of themis ; drabbles

nsfw. ✩ nxx boys being so jealous they have to remind you (or themselves) who you belong to [fem!reader] featuring: artem, marius, luke, vyn

a/n ✩ this is only just a teasing, longer versions for each of them will be uploaded later ehe also this is my first tot fic idk if y’all read it BUT ive been wanting to write for them for a while now

⸻ ꕥ ⌎ artem doesn’t talk a lot when he’s feeling irritated or upset about something. he usually prefers to keep it to himself but when he sees you from afar, joking around with his forever rival, he cannot contain himself any longer; taking you by the hand and pulling you away from the party, away from him. his hand is gripping a bit too hard on your wrist that you feel it hurting already yet before you can speak, his lips are already pressed against yours. his hands go down on your body, reaching out to your ass, squeezing it as if it helped him relax. and it seems that it does help, because you feel his lips curling up into a smile against your skin. ‘what’s gotten into you ?’ you ask. and all you get as an answer is him, looking away; obviously avoiding your eyes.

‘is it not okay for me to want you when you look so divine in that dress ?’

⸻ ꕥ ⌎ marius easily gets jealous whenever you get too close to other men; because he knows how beautiful and desirable you are.of course he’s not speaking his feelings everytime he happens to not like you talking to a man. but this time it is too much. he puts down his glass, approaching both of you slowly. ‘i need to see y/n in private.’ he says. actually he orders you to follow him. and his hand quickly seizes yours anyway, so you cannot deny his request. he closes the door to his office behind you. locks it. ‘oh ? here ?’ you say, walking around his huge office, staring at the city lights. the view at night is breathtaking from up here yet you don’t have the time to truly enjoy it when you feel his body pressing against yours. he is hard, and slowly unzipping the back of your dress. ‘i want you.’ he whispers against your skin. ‘you are mine.’ he adds, dropping kisses on several places and you feel two of his fingers slide into your wet cunt. ‘ngh~ why are you like that ? the event only just started.’ to that he simply keeps on fucking you with his fingers, and stuffs your mouth with the fingers of his other hand, commanding you to suck it.

‘no.’ he giggles ‘me fucking you only just started and you will be moaning my name over again, asking for more of my cock inside of you.’

⸻ ꕥ ⌎ luke hates himself for having the idea of bringing you here; to a jet ski class. he feared that you’d spend a bad moment and wouldn’t dare to tell him; yet you seem to quite like it. a bit too much he thinks. now, he’s standing alone on the sand, unable to take his eyes off you as you’re clinging hard onto the teacher’s body. of course he keeps his composure with the stranger; but the way he takes your hand and takes little time to get you out of here says a lot about his true feelings. luke sits on the driver’s seat of his car, but does not turn the engine on yet. instead he pulls you into his lap so he can enjoy the direct view of your boobs. a view that is his and his only. he helps you take your shirt off. he’s usually softer, but you ask no question because you already know that this is only a vague insight of how jealous he must be. he buries his head into your neck, biting and licking it to show you how bad he wants you now. and since actions don’t seem to be expressive enough to him, he speaks up against your skin.

‘i’m gonna mark you as mine. i’m gonna fuck you hard and you will be clinging to me, begging for me to be more gentle.’

⸻ ꕥ ⌎ vyn can get pretty sadistic in bed if he feels like it and since he knows you enjoy it too, he doesn’t really hide his fantasies to you. he’s eyeing you now. has been for a while since the beginning of the party in fact, and no cheerful expression of yours around that man escaped his observant eyes. ‘may i ?’ he politely asks for more of you in the middle of your conversation. but this is only a facade and you know it. you can see in his eyes, all the things he’s going to do to you and feel yourself getting wet to your simple imagination. he opens the bathroom door to you. ‘the toilets ? very elegant doctor richter.’ you tease; but he’s in no mood to accept it. he’s grabbing your waist, making you turn around and forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. he pulls down your skirt and before you can tease him again, he spanks you hard, and bites your shoulder.

‘a pretty slut like you deserves no better than a vulgar bathroom to be fucked. and i will be doing it all night.’

[heauxvibez]

D.U.F.F

warning: none, but it's based off one of my fav movies! Enjoy!

D.U.F.F.

An abbreviation for 'Designated Ugly Fat Friend'. Often in a group of women (usually adolescents) there will be a D.U.F.F. as a means to look better by comparison.

"I'll be back, I'm going to get some fresh air. It's kind of congested in here!" Emage hollered to her friends, her voice barely audible over the booming music. They just nodded, lost in the rhythm, not really paying their friend any mind.

Emage hated parties, and constantly asked herself why she had even attended. 

Oh yeah, because my friends forced me out of my bed and dragged me here.

Yeah, she could've easily left bearing in mind that she had driven her own car there, but her conscience wouldn't allow her to leave her friends, who were most likely drunk, by themselves.

"Can you get the hell out of my way?!" she groaned, shoving past the sweaty bodies that rubbed against her, disgusted by the fact that the perspiration of the random people dripped onto her skin. Gross. The congestion was becoming too much for her and if she didn't escape the overcrowded area, she was sure she'd pass out.

After jostling pass people for what seemed like forever, she eventually found a patio. There were a few people out there drinking, conversing, sticking tongues down each others throat, but she didn't care. She was able to breathe in fresh air.

It was a mystery how her friends were able to deal with people rubbing against their bodies, invading their personal space but maybe it was just because her personal space was something she had cherished. Anyone who had even dared to pass the boundaries she had set for herself, man, they were in for a rude awakening.

Emage discarded the hair tie from her wrist, throwing her sweated-out silk press hair into a ponytail. She fanned herself, exhaling as she leaned against the patio railing. Although she hated being there, she loved the view. It was late at night so the city lights lit up the sky, and the full moon illuminated the night faultlessly.

Clearing her mind, she thought about how she even ended up being at this party. Of course, her friends dragged her here, but how'd they even get invited? It was an enormous house occupied with celebrities, whom she didn't really care for that much. She was pretty sure some of them weren't too fond of her either, being that she had cursed at a few for bumping into her, not even sparing an apology. Who did they think they were? She was well aware of who they were but there was no room for disrespect no matter who they were.

Oh. Now she recalls. Her friend Bree got invited by some famous wrestler. She forgot his full name but remembers Bree calling him Jon, or Jimmy, or maybe both, who knows. Emage wasn't surprised when her friend said the dude approached her after a match she went to. With her beautiful 4a curls delicately resting on her shoulders, doe-like brown eyes, and supermodel figure, she was sure to catch some celebrity's attention.

"Hey, duff." she heard a deep voice call from a distance, breaking her from her thoughts.

There was no way the man was speaking to her, so she continued to gaze at the night sky. From her peripheral vision, she could spot the tall figure stand next to her and lean against the railing as well.

"Hello? Duff, I know you heard me calling your name.." she shook her head, a small smile emerging onto her face. She turned her head, facing him. The young woman had been prepared to tell him off but her words became stuck in her throat.

He resembled a Samoan deity with his strong, chiseled features and full beard. His lips were a soft shade of pink, practically inviting a kiss, and his brown eyes seemed to peer deep into her soul. His white T-Shirt was basic, but it clung snugly to his body, highlighting his divine muscles. The sight of the tall man was enough to melt a popsicle stick.

As quickly as she could, she snapped out of her thoughts before he could see her sweat.

"I don't know who you are, or who you think you are, but I'm definitely not the one. My name is not Duff, so I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't call me that. Thanks," she snapped, her tone sharp.

A deep chuckle rumbled from the man's chest. He found the woman's feisty demeanor amusing, but her words didn't faze him.

"Well, since you don't know who I am," he said, throwing his fingers in the air to create air quotes. "I'm Roman Reigns, you know..WWE st-"

"Listen, I didn't come here to listen to you talk about yourself. I just wanted some fresh air away from the ignorant people at this party. But it seems I can't even get that," she interrupted, showing no interest in his self-introduction.

"Ooo, I've never met such a feisty duff," he remarked, a smirk playing on his lips.

The scowl deepened on her face, a clear warning sign, but he couldn't resist the amusement of provoking the short, angry woman.

"Why do you keep calling me that? What the hell is a duff?" she demanded, her weight shifted onto her right leg, arms crossed over her chest, exuding attitude.

"You don't know?" he questioned, one eyebrow raised in mock surprise.

"Obviously not, that's why I'm asking," she retorted, stating the obvious.

"Designated Ugly Fat Friend," he leered.

"Excuse me?" her eyes widened.

"That's what Duff means; Designated Ugly Fat Friend."

What? Did he just? I know he did not just?

Emage was taken aback. He didn't even know her, yet he was tossing insults her way.

"Did you just... did you just call me fat and..and ugly?" Her face flushed with anger.

He shook his head. "No, well, yes, but a Duff isn't always about being ugly or fat, or both."

Her expression remained unchanged, so he continued. "It's about being the least attractive one in the group. You know, the one who makes everyone else look better. Don't worry, every group has one."

Throwing her hands up in the air, she faked a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you, Jesus, because that makes the term way less insulting."

"I'm not even sure if you're being serious about this. I mean, I'm decent... I-I'm not ugly," she stuttered. He attempted to pat her shoulder, but she quickly brushed him off.

"Of course you're not. You're cute, but your friends Bree and Asia are...sexy," he admitted, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

If she could have reached up to grab him the hair he had slicked into a ponytail and slung him over the patio railing, she would have. What was the point of him coming over here anyway? Did he want to shatter her confidence to the ground? As if she didn't already have insecurities she was trying to work on.

She lunged for a nearby drink, snatching it from the grasp of a random individual.

"Hey, I was drinking that!"

Without hesitation, she flung the contents of the cup all over Roman, the Hennessy cascading over his white shirt, leaving a nasty brown stain.

"What the hell was that for?" he bellowed, his eyes wide with disbelief as he stared at the blotch on his shirt.

A heavy silence descended upon the patio as the surrounding crowd observed the confrontation between the small woman and the towering man.

"You need to chill," he chuckled, though the anger was evident in his voice.

She responded by lifting her middle finger before swiftly turning on her heel and exiting the area.

"Oh, yeah. Real mature!" he yelled after her retreating figure.

With a frustrated groan, Roman was left with the nauseating scent of spilled Hennessy under his nose. Feeling the weight of the party guests' curious stares, he glanced up.

"What the hell are you guys looking at?" he demanded, his irritation palpable as the onlookers quickly averted their gaze, earning a devious chuckle from the WWE star.

"Stupid duff..." he muttered under his breath.

--------------

Umm..200 words turned into 2 million. Lol this is just going to be a plain ole writing challenge at this point. Part 2?

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi @msbigredmachine @blacst4r @sassginamillls @wrestlingprincess80 @saintmagx @theninthwonder

[en-gelic]

—✮ kiss and make up - s.jaeyun

🖇️contents. richkid!jake x richkid!f.reader, situationship, fluff

@ warnings. petnames, suggestive, kisses, cheating (?), injuries, mentions of death. lmk if i missed anything!

💭featuring. haechan (nct), karina (aespa) + the rest of the enha members.

# ; taglist. @i57berry @cholexc (open - send an ask or comment to be tagged on all my works !)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 extras. for my bby @i57berry bcs we both need this ><! wc.2.8k PROOFREAD 𓍯 library ๋࣭ ⭑

I - HE CHEATED, BUT HE DIDNT ?!

The teacher’s voice died out as you zoned out, remembering her hand in his hair and his hand on her waist. You were pissed for no reason, because after all, it was just a fling. A fling you’d eventually forget about after you graduated in a month. The bell ringing brought you back to reality as students bustled with energy, each talking over one another. You sighed again, leaning your head against your arm, looking at the weather that was gradually getting warmer as spring blossomed at its own pace. The scraping of chairs beside you ended your daze as you turned to your friends, Haechan and Karina, who were now surrounded by your chair, forming a semicircle around you. Each with their own personality, you listened as they talked over each other, more or less asking the same question.

“Does he know you know?”

“Does he think you don’t have eyes?”

Clearly, the former was said by Karina and the latter was by Haechan. “I don’t know.” You replied dully, trying to reassure your friends before they started doing something out of hand. You barely got your second sentence out, before two veiny hands slammed themselves on your desk. Trailing up his arm, you met his serious look. Sim Jaeyun (or Jake as he liked to call himself), the topic of your conversation.

“Come with me.” He said gruffly. Before you could reply, Haechan had already spoke for you.

“Ask politely, Jakey boy or she’s not going.” Your head shot in his direction, trying to tell him to shut up before he ruins everything. At hearing the nickname he hated the most, he glared at Haechan, a sardonic smile playing on his lips.

“Come with me, please.” He teased, causing the other boy to move abruptly out of his chair. Both you and Karina, put your hands on his shoulders which he shrugged off, sitting back down in between the two of you girl. You exchanged a look with Karina as you both held back your laughter at his temper. Moving your head to look back at the boy he seemed pleased with himself for irritating Haechan, you imitated his sardonic smile before replying, “I’ll go with you.”

Standing up, you caught your friend’s looks from the corner of your eye. Haechan’s was a look of pure horror, as if he had just seen a ghost. He opened his mouth to protest but was quickly blocked by Karina’s hand, as she gave you a small smile that meant ‘good luck’. As you followed the boy out of the loud classroom, you wondered whether he knew what he saw him do. You kept reminding yourself that it was just a fling and that it meant nothing even if he was kissing another girl.

Leading you to an empty classroom, you walked in as he closed the door behind you. At least even if he was a cheater (not really), he still had basic chivalry. In a flash, you were pinned against the wall, his lips pressed against yours. You overcame the initial shock, quickly reciprocating his action, only stopping once his hand began exploring your torso. You took it, pulling him so your positions were swapped, and you were pinning him against the wall. He looked down at you and you cursed your height mentally for making this less intimidating than it was supposed to be.

“Do you have something you want to say to me?” You asked, using one useful rule your parents taught you. Well, they didn’t teach you directly, but you heard from their arguments that you should give the person time to think about what they’ve done before having a go at them. It was mainly used by your mother and had succeeded in saving your father when he had done something he was unaware of. You felt like melting under his stare, but having been taught to compose yourself always, you didn’t falter as he straightened up, causing your hand to lose its place on the wall.

“What have I done?” He hummed in teasing way, pretending to think. “Is it because I pissed your little friend off? Or because I slammed my hands on your desk? Or…” He teased you again, smiling with obvious arrogance. “Or are you jealous because she had her hands in my hair instead of yours?” You struggled to try and defend yourself against his tactics.

His smile deepened into a boyish grin, knowing he caught your weak point. He shook your hand off his wrist and brought it to squish your face. “I made my pretty baby jealous,” he fake-pouted. “Do you want a gift as a sorry?” Contemplating if it was a trick question, you didn’t answer, reading his next move. In an instant, you flipped back to your previous position, your back pushed against the wall as you felt your tie loosen and the buttons on your shirt open. Later, his actions caused a trail of hickeys down your neck that horrified your friends as they helped you apply concealer over it before going to academy. If you were going anywhere else, you wouldn’t have worried about whether your hickeys were peaking above your shirt or not, but due to your parent’s overprotectiveness, your mother’s best friend was teaching there to keep an eye on you.

“I don’t understand why you just keep going back to him when he clearly isn’t going to be committed.” Haechan complained as you three made your way to academy. Karina wasn’t the least bit worried about where you got your hickey’s from, all she worried about was them showing as she lathered more concealer on your neck.

“What would you know about commitment, Haechan, judging by the fact that you just broke up with your girlfriend because you found someone prettier.” You deadpanned, watching him go silent in realization.

“That’s because I was worried about emotionally cheating on her, so I saved her from the pain. Unlike you, who still goes back to him even after he ‘cheats’ on you and says sorry by leaving massive hickeys on your neck.” He defended, opening the door to the academy, waiting for the two of you to enter.

You sighed, walking in and organizing your tie. “I wish you were more like Karina.” Watching Haechan’s horror as he acted offended and scoffed at your sentence. You turned in Karina’s direction, flinging your arms around her. “I wish there were two of you.” You added dramatically. Karina laughed at the two of you, watching as Haechan flung his arm around your shoulders, dragging all three of you by his weight. You stumbled together in a mix of arms and legs as your laughter saturated the hallways.

II - NEVER TRUST A BASKETBALL PLAYER !!

You sat watching the repetitive cycle of Haechan promising that he would get in the next shot. He wasn’t supposed to be doing that in the first place. Karina, who claimed she loved you, had told the school’s basketball coach that the three of you would clean up the basketball court before the last school basketball game for the 3rd years — Only 2 more weeks until graduation. The only issue with that is the fact that you and Jake were supposed to go on a date which he had directly asked you to, two nights before you were forced to clean a basketball court.

“This is for you.” Haechan said, flirtatiously winking at you before missing the hoop horribly again.

“Even I could do a better job.” You commented, taking the ball away from him. As usual, he threw a bit of a tantrum, which caused you to give it back to him, resulting in his mock sadness sprouting into glee again. This was really not the way you intended to spend your Friday evening. You sighed for the nth time and began cleaning the seats. In between the two places for seating, you tripped on the corner of the baluster, resulting in you getting a cut on your knee. You sighed again, the evening getting progressively worse. Luckily you could escape some cleaning torture for about an hour or two before they notice your disappearance. You quietly excused yourself, slipping out of the court and walking to the nurse’s office.

You took a seat on of the beds as a male nurse came to treat you. There were never any male nurses in your school though. It was too late in the evening for the head nurse to be there, so you had a reason not to question it. He was wearing a mask, but he looked and acted oddly familiar, the way he treated your knee with gentleness as he applied disinfectant on it. You could tell he was a novice by the way he was pulling a face as he wiped the blood away from your knee. You watched as he put on a very girly and unprofessional Hello Kitty band aid on your knee. He removed his mask, revealing his face as the one you were supposed to meet before you got involuntarily chained to the chore of cleaning. He leant down and pressed a kiss on your wound, now covered completely by the pink bandage.

“Jake?” You asked, in utter confusion as to why he was here instead of waiting at the spot you were supposed to meet up at.

“You stood me up, your highness.” He added emphasis to the nickname since he was kneeling down in front of you. You remembered now that you didn’t really give him a reason on why you can’t come.

“But what are you doing here then?” You felt his hand move slightly over your knee, as he moved to sit on the bed next to you.

“I heard my pretty girl was hurt and I came to fix her.” He teased, brushing your hair from your shoulders, making a small sound of disapproval.

“Thank you, Doc Mcstuffins for fixing my wound with your novice skills.” You teased back.

“Your hickeys are gone.” He stated abruptly. You pulled a face at his tone, wondering why he sounded so sad about.

“Those hickeys would have killed me if my parents found out.” “But they were to show everyone that you’re my girl.” Your heart skipped a beat at his sudden use of affection, until you noticed his hand that was sliding up your thigh.

You caught it before it could go under your skirt, cursing yourself for even wearing a skirt and forgetting that Jake could have very well seen everything. You could tell what he was about to do, even before he started moving and you blocked his lips before it resulted in a horrifying trail of large hickeys.

“Don’t ruin my neck. I’m going to an event tomorrow evening and I don’t need my makeup artist asking me questions and reporting it to my parents.” You told him as a warning. He didn’t nod like any normal person would. Instead, he licked your fingers as a sign of agreement. You pulled a face and instantly retracted your hand, about to throw a string of curse words in his direction until his lips collided with yours, a familiar feeling you had grown accustomed to for more than a month. He moved from your lips to your neck as he unbuttoned the top buttons of your shirt, getting ready to leave a hickey in the most ‘discreet’ place. He stopped abruptly at hearing a sting of “ew’s” and “ugh’s” as your friends, who just realized your disappearance and came to look for you. You could admit that you were pissed that they ruined the moment, but it was better than bribing your makeup artist with money. Jake looked more irritated than you.

“What are you guys doing here too?” He asked, his voice clearly masking disappointment. He buttoned up your shirt and moved a bit farther from you.

“We were supposed to be cleaning the basketball court together, until she went to go have a secret rendezvous with you.” Haechan added circling the three of you.

“You weren’t even cleaning.” Karina directed to Haechan, moving to leave the room as the said boy looked at her in disbelief.

You turned back to Jake. He was smiling, but less pissed than before. He placed a peck on your lips before saying, “Wish me good luck for my game tomorrow, pretty girl.” Before walking past Haechan and throwing the middle finger in his direction.

“I hate you guys.” Haechan said, before walking to examine your cut.

III - BYE BYE LOSERS !!!

It was finally the day of graduation. You had spent the evening before at Haechan’s house, giggling with the two of them about how university was going to be and where they should go on their trip to celebrate finishing school. It was so weird how 12 years felt so long, but short at the same time. Long in the sense that it felt like it dragged on every year, especially since it gradually got harder like questions in a math test, but short now that you remembered everything that happened in those years and how you wanted to go back in time to start again. Clearly, you wouldn’t if you actually had the chance, but just for the sentiment. The night was longer than anything. The only thing that would get you to sleep was playing white noise in the background.

When the morning finally did come, the house was noisier than ever. Not only were the three of you crying every two seconds, but makeup artists and hair stylists streamed in and out of the rooms, looking for missing brushes, hair curlers and hair straighteners, thoroughly irritated with the way the tears endlessly spilled down the freshly put eye liner. It took all three of your parents to come in and distract you guys to stop you from crying. You each decided to wear your school uniforms for the last time before they began collecting dust.

The graduation ceremony was longer than expected, causing your mind to wander in thoughts of him. You saw him with his friends, much farther from where you were sitting causing you to struggle to look at his face. You had barely gotten to exchange words that morning since everyone was rushing to the ceremony, which dragged on as the principal gave a speech on how youth is just a moment in time and other things he thought would invoke tears to the students who just wanted to leave. You watched as they called out each and every one of your names.

You wouldn’t cry. You never cry in public. You reminded yourself over and over again as the ceremony came to an end.

You dawdled around taking photos with your friends, teachers and parents, not caring about how the photos turned out. You just wanted to see him. The day was ending rapidly, and every second seemed to speed up as it was almost time for you to leave the school for good. You excused yourself by saying you wanted to take one last look at the school before leaving and you hovered alone around the empty outdoors, looking for any sign of him. He wasn’t just a fling you had finally admitted to yourself after months of battling over it. You stalked around slowly, looking down at the ground, trying to bite back tears of the memories you spent making chaos in the school. A tear barely rolled down your cheeks before you felt light flower petals falling over you. You looked up and saw a glimpse of one of Jake’s friends sprinkling them on the school grounds, along with a letter you caught without difficulty. You knew it was from him by the handwriting on the front of the letter. To your surprise it was a love letter. As most of it was written in English except for a very messy looking ‘I like you’ in Korean, you finally put some of the knowledge from school to use as you read the letter, smiling at his bashfulness in his writing. You looked up, your smile obvious as you found him smiling back down at you.

“Your confession was lame, you loser.” You teased, watching as he jokingly acted offended.

“I take it back. I don’t like you anymore.” He puffed, pretending to be irritated at you.

“Fine. I like you too.” You watched his fake pout turn into an instant beam. “Although, I don’t want to catch you kissing other girls and apologizing with hickeys.” You warned, walking up to where he was standing. He instantly engulfed you in a hug, continuously repeating how much he liked you and promising that he’d never cheat on you. Later, the two of you walked through the school grounds hand-in-hand, slowly remembering your first time you saw him. As you exited the school grounds, you turned back, pulling a face at the school, even though no one could see you.

Bye-bye losers, you thought, letting go of Jake’s hand and running off ahead of him, the boy instantly reciprocating your action.

© en-gelic 2024.

[famouscyclenerd]

The "two bonds" theory

Ship o'hoi!! Long post ahead!!!

The theory (made by e/riels) claims that there are two bonds: "true bonds" and "cauldron" bonds.

The difference primarely lies in the "snapping moment".

The "true bond" aka "true mates/love", the bond snapping when a couple first looks at each other, doesn't happen. It takes time, they are attracted and drawn to each other first.

The "cauldron bond" aka "breeding bond" (created by the asteri for powerful offsprings allegedly) the bond snaps into place instantly. The male turns possessive and territorial to ensure hanky panky. The mates end up hating each other as the instincts to claim their mate dies down over time.

*I had so much fun with this! And with each day, we are one step closer to acotar news. So I felt the need to respond (?) to this before the next couple is announced! :)

They compared feysand, nessian, e/riel and elucien. They also touched on Rhys' parents, but there is too little information about them to really use it. I will however be using some moriel quotes.

I'll be comparing them all to elucien :D

Let's take a look at feysand. First of all, when Rhys first met Feyre she was human and Rhys had an inkling, a pull if you will. He didn't want to let her go, but had to. He wanted to kill the males who were forcing themselves upon her. Because of the bond. It didn't snap into place... until she was turned fae.

"(...) and had begun to fade into the nearest shadow when he went rigid. His eyes locked on mine, wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock - pure shock flashed across his features at whatever he saw on my face, and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled."

"But Elain was staring over Nesta's shoulder. At Lucien - whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one eye of russet and one of metal."

"His face was pale as death as he stared at Elain."

This was Feyre and Rhys' first meeting after she was turned fae. Same goes for Elain and Lucien. The bond snapped instantly for the males. Both were shocked.

Speaking of first meetings... (note we have Feyre's POV in both instances, we do not know what Lucien nor Elain were thinking*.)

"The night seemed to press in closer around him, made me hesitate to speak - made me want to run in the other direction."

"I took a step back."

"(...) I backed up a step."

"As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him-"

They had both been in terrifying situations (Elain in the cauldron and Feyre threatened by the lesser faeries) and their mates were still strangers to them. Even if Rhys scared them away, even if Lucien tried to cover and warm her with his jacket. They drew distance.

In acomaf, Rhys talks about his experience with the bond between them.

"And this beautiful, wonderful thing that had come into my life, this gift from the Cauldron..." hmmmm🤨

"When I went to leave you... I think transforming you into Fae made the bond lock into place permanently. I'd known it existed, but it hit me then - hit me so strong that I panicked."

Being turned into a fae will make the bond more detectable, according to Rhys. It hit him strongly even when he already knew of its existence.

Lucien was repeatedly reaching for Elain as she was dragged towards the cauldron. So much so that the king of Hybern had to cast whatever spell he used on him.

"Lucien staggered a step forward as Elain was gripped between two guards and hoisted up."

"'That is enough.' Lucien surged for Elain, for the Cauldron."

"Elain remaind shuddering on the ground, Lucien's coat draped around her. She did not look at the Cauldron behind her (...)"

"Water poured forth, Lucien hoisting Elain in his arms and out of the way."

He freed himself after and went to Elain. Nesta was next in line, and although Lucien was free to roam, his entire focus was on Elain and her safety. This was before the bond snapped into place.

"(...) I hadn't seen her (Mor) in fifty years, and my first words to her were, 'She's my mate.'"

Rhys would have blurted that out to Feyre had he not winnowed. Sounds familiar?

"Lucien's hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, 'You're my mate'."

It is clarely a shock no matter what. But it must have been even worse for Lucien, as he had always believed Jesminda to be his mate. He had not had the opportunity to spend time with Elain before she was turned, to have established at least an inkling to their bond. A tragic, yet hopeful realization. He had little time to process this, given the situation they were in.

"I felt your pain, and sadness, and lonliness (...)"

"And from the devestation on his face, I knew he'd heard every word. Seen and heard and felt the hollowness and despair radiating from her."

They can both feel and sense emotions through the bond. It is a very intimate thing, though Feyre had no idea at the time. Elain might, and she could feel incredibly exposed to Lucien, knowing that it's difficult to hide true feelings and thoughts from him.

"Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of the newfound boldness to be seen."

Although we don't know exactly what is happening, Elain could surely feel Lucien's disappointment and longing for her.

But are the bonds different?

Here, both Rhysand and Lucien pulls on the bond:

"I was pulled from sleep by something tugging at my middle, a thread deep inside."

"'It felt... strange,' Elain breathed. 'Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib.'"

Very similar, don't you think?

"Cauldron mates" are "immersed in all these territorial and possessive emotions". They have an "aggressive reaction". (Though Lucien didn't come across as aggressive)

Yet both Rhysand and Lucien were willing to let their mates choose who they wanted to be with.

"... for three months I tried to convince myself that you were better off without me."

"'The day of your wedding, I'd planned to get rip-roaring drunk with Cassian, who had no idea why, but(...)'"

"'And then I'll ask your mate how he survived it - knowing you were engaged to someone else. Sharing another male's bed."

✨Bonus✨

"Standing before me was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen." Feyre to Rhysand

"'You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.'" Rhysand to Feyre

"But he couldn't breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen." Lucien to Elain

"And he could have sworn something sparked in them as she met his gaze." Elain to Lucien🤭

Up next, let's do nessian! This will be shorter as I feel we have more info on feysand and little to none between Elain and Azriel, as they do not have a bond.

Upon first meeting, Cassian was paying an overly obvious amount of attention to Nesta. Staring at her over and over again, it was borderline rude lmao. These males loves to stare at their mates. Keep in mind that Cassian too, met Nesta before she was fae. Something Lucien and Elain never got to. At least that we know of.. (And remember what Rhysand said about Feyre being turned into fae and what it did to his acknowledgment of the bond.)

"Cassian was seizing up Nesta (...)"

"Cassian watched every bite she took, every bob of her throat as she swallowed."

"Lucien just stared at my sister (...)"

"Lucien was staring at Elain as he spoke."

"He only glanced at Elain (...)"

And the sisters loves it of course!

"Nesta didn't bat an eyelash as she studied the handsome features, the muscled torso. Then turned to me. Dismissing him entirely."

"(...) whose face was a calm void while she traced a finger over the embroidery on the couch cushions."

Both males are drawn to their mates, longing for them.

"I wondered why no one had yet to mention what now shone in Cassian's eyes as he gazed at my sister. The sorrow and the longing."

"I sensed no ill will, no conniving. Only concern for her... And sorrow. Longing."

"'I would never hurt her.' A bleak sort of honesty in his words."

↑ This goes against the "Cauldron mates" description. I find the "cauldron bond" to be a bit... problematic? They mentioned that the only couple who had one of these bonds were elucien and I find it to sound a bit... like Lucien wants to SA her... Though Feyre sensed no ill will on Lucien's end!

And Lucien still longs for her in Silver Flames. They didn't fully disclose when the baby-making instincts would turn to hate, but it's been around two years since the bond snapped.

"Cassian's heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing."

There is tension between both couples. The females ignores while the males feels the hurt and longing of it. Mating bonds are sacred to Fae, it is not a known thing amongst humans. Both Nesta and Elain clung to their humanity, Elain having particulary more difficulty with coming to terms with her new body. Nesta grew to love it, though the mating bond was a different story.

"'Not everything in my life is about your sister, you know.'"

"'I'm not always in this city to see my mate."

There's unresolved tension between both. Well, at the time for nessian. Rhysand, Lucien and Cassian all claims that their mates feel "shackled to them". It is an obsticale in the relationship, will they fall in love or is it simply the mating bond?

"(...) she'd developed a keen awareness of his presence in any space, any room. She hadn't been able to stop it, to block it out (...)"

Mates are keenly aware of each other in close proximity.

Let's move on to e/riel!

They met at the same time as nessian. Cassian was preoccupied with Nesta, whom was trying not to acknowledge him. Rhys was fixated on Feyre, but at the same time fighting the anger toward her sisters due to Feyre's upbringing. It was awkward, to say the least...

"Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here (...)"

Azriel and Elain made small talks. Azriel: "a polite, bland smile on his face." and Elain: "Her shoulders loosned a bit." Likely feeling relief for breaking the tense ambiance from the rest. Az is being polite, and so is Elain. No strong feeling however.

There is not much to remark on this encounter. Nothing to compare to elucien as there is no pull, neither feel drawn to each other. Cassian is staring down Nesta as he is drawn to her, Azriel is not doing the same to Elain. They talk, as many don't. And that's it!

They met again in Hybern, where Az was shot with faebane aka bloodbane. It is used to neutralize powers, a bond might feel dulled, but it won't vanish.

"Azriel cried out in pain. She (Mor) froze."

"Mor looked at Azriel - and there was real fear there. Fear - and something else."

"Azriel hissed - but covered her bloody fingers with his own."

Az had no reaction to Elain during this scene. It was an intense situation, drawing reactions from the couples. Feysand, nessian, elucien and moriel all had moments, but not e/riel.

"Both wanted to join us at the Hewn City, but someone had to guard the city - part of their long-held protocol. And someone had to guard Elain, though I certainly wasn't about to tell Lucien that. Cassian swearing and pissy, got the short end of the stick, and Azriel only clapped him on the shoulder before heading up to the House to prepare."

"(...) Lucien now stood in the sitting room, close to Elain's side"

"Cassian casually slid Nesta behind him, his fingers snagging in the skirts of her black gown."

Lucien wouldn't have hesitated to guard Elain (neither would Cassian), though he was busy being useful in other things. Azriel was not very interested in playing guard for the city - for Elain, and was more than happy to leave her. Males are highly protective of their mates. It is seen time and time again.

As mentioned previously, mates are keenly aware of each other. Like the nessian quote.

Here is an example of Elain being in the same room as Lucien and Azriel. Both instances takes place in acofas:

"(...) hoping to keep his focus on me. Knowing it was an impossible task."

"Az, to his credit, gave Mor a smile of thanks, a blush creeping over his cheeks, his hazel eyes fixed on her. I looked away at the heat, the yearning that filled them."

No attention to Elain, though she was in the very room...

"But Lucien's attention went right to the hallway toward the back, his nostrils flaring as he scented Elain's direction. And who she'd gone with. A low snarl slipped out of him-"

Jealousy. He is jealous when Azriel and Elain are alone, in acofas too with Graysen and Elain's history. Rhys is jealous of Feyre and Tamlin plus Tarquin. Cassian is jealous of Nesta and Eris. Azriel has been jealous of Mor and Helion (both in acowar and sf) as well as Lucien and Elain (in sf).

Azriel is currently juggling his feelings toward both Mor and Elain. The others are not interested in anyone other than their mates.

"'I'm a mated male now.'"

"Given that his own status as a mated male made him uninterested in any sort of female company these days."

Cassian is not seen with anyone else, thinking of anyone else. Same with Rhys and Lucien, of course.

"The ancient healer jerked her chin toward Lucien. 'See what he can do. If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it's a mate."

Now... Lucien was apart from Elain for months after Hybern. Azriel was there.

Elain's body had been mutilated, altered against her will. She had in the process lost her fiance and everything she had built in her previous life as a human in the Mortal Lands.

She wasn't eating nor sleeping. Had lost a ton of weight. "Her skin was so pale it looked like fresh snow in the harsh light. I realized then that the color of death, of sorrow, was white."

She does not do well inside all day.

"I want to go home."

"She was supposed to be married next week.' 'So she keeps saying, over and over.'"

"A shell." "A void."

Elain was severly depressed, having lost almost all forms of functions. She mourns her human life, while being cooped up in House of Wind. A place she rarely visits later on.

"I have seen many victims of trauma before. Her symptoms match well with many of those invisible wounds."

It is well-known that Lucien is the one who tells her she needs to get outside. "She needs fresh air." "Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two."

"Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her." "'I... I was sleeping, but I heard..." She is already improving after being moved and being able to go outside in the garden.

"'What can I get you Elain?'"

"'Sunshine.'"

Azriel is the one who figures out that she is a seer.

"Azriel's hazel eyes churned as he studied my sister, her too-thin body. And without a word, he winnowed away."

This happens after Elain thinks she dreams. He becomes suspicious of what she says, the way she behaves. And likely goes to the library to put his theory to the test. He's a smart guy, let's be real!

"The Cauldron made you a seer."

He does figure it out, putting a name to it. And Elain feels a wash of relief from indirectly being told she is not crazy. Though even with powers, the invisible wounds linger.

I would argue, that it's fair to draw comparisons with how Cassian had no idea what Nesta's powers were. They too, were taunting her. It is frustrating to not be able to understand a part of yourself. Though a power is not something that is wrong with you, but a strenght once you master it. Rhysand was the one who used his daemati powers, going into Nesta's mind and realized her powers were pure death.

What do we know about mating bonds?

We know that once the bond is accepted, the couple falls into a "frenzy" to ensure that the male impregnates the female. It is already a known thing. Both feysand and nessian experienced this.

Rhys claims that the bond becomes more prominant if both parts are fae, and it hit him like a slap to the face just like it did to Lucien.

Mating bonds will make the males possessive over their mates, showing signs of jealousy and the want to protect and keep their mates safe. Elucien, feysand and nessian went though this.

The chant: "you are mine, and I am yours."

"''You're mine,' he snarled." "Say it again,' he murmured. I knew what he meant. 'You're mine.' I breathed."

"(...) the words, the sense chanted. Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate."

"'Say it,' Cassian whispered against her skin. She knew what he meant. Somehow, she knew what he meant. (...) 'You're mine.' He groaned, thrusting hard. She whispered, 'And I am yours.'"

The similarities are prominent. Nothing alludes to Elain and Lucien having a different bond than the rest of the mated pairs.

And there is no canon text supporting Azriel feeling drawn to Elain from the start and vice-versa.

There is mutual sexual attraction between Elain and Azriel, confirmed in Azriel's bonus chapter, but beyond that there is nothing in support of a mating bond between them. Both are attractive individuals, Elain is resisting the mating bond and Mor isn't giving Azriel the signs he so desperately wants from her.

Rhys, Lucien and Cassian have been longing and waiting for their mates ever since they've known of their existance.

Meanwhile Azriel hadn't gotten that far with his planning. Certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to.

[starlightvld]

One thing I think people don't consider enough when writing an angsty, dark, or enemies-to-lovers romance is TRUST.

Failing to acknowledge trust as a fundamental aspect of a relationship is why so many enemies to lovers, commitment-phobe to dedicated significant other, or even trauma-led-running-away-from-feelings to loving partner go off the rails so spectacularly when it's time to begin writing the reconciliation. It's why these tropes are so very difficult to write and why even seasoned authors will crash and burn if they don't pay attention to their characterization.

And yes, people's irl levels of acceptance for breaking trust are different. It's why some people can forgive things like cheating and move forward together while others can't. At some level, these kinds of stories will never work for everyone.

But as writers, we need to think about shaping the reconciliation while we're writing the enemies scenes. We have to build our characters in such a way that the forgiveness makes sense to the reader. If you spend ten chapters building up a person as angry/hurt/implacable when their intended partner is mentioned, then you can't have a single scene where all is forgiven. You haven't earned that through the story or the characterization. If one of the partners continually hurts the other throughout the story, you have to make the reader believe that the other party wouldn't simply walk away, especially in a new relationship (one that doesn't have years or decades worth of them going back an forth to establish that, yes, one or both of them are a bit masochistic).

This can also be applied to relationships where trust - or lack thereof - is a defining feature of the relationship. Two long-time enemies who have hate sex still aren't going to suddenly trust each other. Even with a naive character who is too trusting in general, there should be some distrust. And it should come through in the writing even when they're in the middle of a passionate moment. (Side note: The tension can be SO GOOD if the writer leans into that lack of trust in this situation.)

If you're writing a character who lies to and hurts their significant other for the greater good, there's even more chance for angst because the other character may understand but still not trust the other character anymore. Understanding a person's motivations does not mean they will allow themselves to fall back into a relationship with someone who values the greater good over them - or it might be THE REASON they do, but you have to write the character that way from the beginning for it to make sense.

TL;DR - Please think about how much your characters can and should reasonably trust each other if you're writing angsty romance of any kind. Try to answer the questions: Why should Character A TRUST Character B again when they lied/cheated/left/hurt Character A in the past? What makes them confident this time is different? Or are they okay with the chance of being hurt again in the future, and if so, have you shown your reader that side of their character throughout the earlier parts of the story?

Write your characters in a consistent way throughout the story, and if a character has a change of heart, show your readers that process.

Your story will benefit and your readers will thank you.

[ragnarokhound]

hey sweetie how are you. I made banana bread for breakfast tomorrow but DON’T touch it till then, it won’t be as good

there’s a post going around about the dynamic of a guard dog character, a lamb, and a wolf (one wants to possess and protect the lamb, one wants to devour it). How do you think jaytimkon fits in this?

ps… 10 things i hate about you? thoughts?

hey sweetie, i'm pretty good uwu had a nice day yesterday walking around my neighborhood with a friend! <3 And ough herrghh mrregghh gragghhhh (<- actively holding myself back from tearing into the banana bread immediately, i'll be strong for you bb but know that you are testing my limits in new and exciting ways)

Putting my responses to both (!! >:0) the jaytimkon and 10 Things ideas under a cut because *deep sigh* it got long lol

BRUH. BRUHHHHHHH. You cannot simply say this to me. You Cannot. Simply. SAY THIS TO ME, YOU'RE NOT SLICK

Once again testing my limits in new and exciting ways because I have a different WIP deadline fast approaching so I simply cannot write more for my actively inspired by guard dog x lamb x wolf jaytimkon WIP to SHOW YOU, in DETAIL, EXACTLY how i think jaytimkon fits into this, BUT

My feelings on this are many, and partially answered in these asks already. But I'll reiterate that they are all three facets simultaneously, baby. Depending on who's talking, they think of themselves as this, that, or the other; the loving, vigilant protector - the helpless, vulnerable bleeding heart - the hungry, slinking interloper. The story I have been brooding over for almost a year now (egads) WILL feature a somewhat slowburn where each of them takes turns realizing which one they are and slowly changing their minds as the narrative progresses and their relationship heats up 🔥w🔥BUT BE PATIENT BECAUSE I SURE HAVE TO BE (*whining and whimpering i crave this banana bread)

P.S. I love the taming of the shrew, and it's absolutely perfect jaytim material are you KIDDING. Cramming two different concepts into one ask. Evil. Diabolical. I love my wife.

10 Things I Hate About You is such a fun movie, and I could honestly see the role of Kate being played equally well by either Tim or Jason lol, and in a somewhat reverse robins style, Dick taking on the role of Bianca. Wally or Kori or [Your Choice Here] in the role of Cameron, wanting to date him. In fact, ohhhh OHHHH okay. Okay bear with me while i cook--

Consider Oldest Child Dick Grayson-Wayne who is super popular, super well loved, everyone wants to date him - but he always begs off because he doesn't want his younger brother, Jason, to be left in the lurch. Standoffish, bookish, i-heard-he-did-time, 'whats it to you' Jason, who has maybe two friends but they go to a different school so he doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch besides his charming older brother. Dick's party line is, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my bro. Good luck! :)" (Something something, Dick and Jason are both adopted, something something Dick doesn't actually wanna date anyone, send tweet)

NOW. Fast forward to when Dick meets someone he might actually want to date. But to keep the ravenous hordes away from him, he still, regretfully, must stick to his guns. Jason needs to be dating/friends with/hanging out with/etc someone else before he and this person (again, Your Dickship of Choice Here) can boogie down.

Cue Dick nudging Jason out of the blue to strike out on his own and Jason getting squinty-eyed suspicious (and secretly a little hurt) that Dick apparently sees him as some kind of burden to be offloaded or whatever. Thanks bro. :(

Thus, Dick and his prospective SO hatch a Scheme. A Scheme to see Jason Woo'd in such a way to keep the heat off Dick from both the collective horny student body AND his sensitive younger brother. Enter Tim Drake.

Tim transferred this year and people have been speculating like crazy about him. His grades are insane so people think he'll be a nerd, but he skateboards to school so people think he'll be a stoner, but he's crazy athletic so people think he'll be trying out for the swim team or something - but mostly? People don't know shit. He's friendly enough, but stays apart. An enigma. Cuts school at least twice a week, hasn't seemed to pick any one crowd with which to integrate, is unaffiliated with any one piece of the greater student body. The most anyone can really tell is that he's just a little unhinged and strapped for cash. He'll pull some crazy stunts - if you've got the money.

Which makes him perfect.

Cue Shakespearean shenanigans leading to Some Asshole (your choice of Dick notp here) offering to pay Tim if he dates Jason Todd-Wayne. Tim thinks it's kinda stupid and an asshole move at first, but apparently the money is too good for him to pass up. So he bites.

Tim stalkers his way into interacting with Jason (something something Jason shoving Tim against the wall outside a 7-11 after school and snarling in his face, "i know you're following me. the fuck do you want" and Tim smirking at him, "to ask you out." Jason blinking, then dropping him like he's been burned. "Bullshit." Tim shrugging and running to catch up, falling into step beside him. "It's the truth." Huge Jason side-eye.) and events spiral from there.

(Vulnerable conversations. Jason: People look at me like I'm trash. Like I'm one bad day away from snapping and proving that they were right not to trust me all along. Like I don't have feelings that matter. I like that you're not scared of me. I like that you seem to fuckin'... like me. Or whatever. But I don't know how to trust it. Tim: People only want me around when they think they can get something out of me. They don't like me just what I can do for them. You've never made me feel like that. You don't give a shit about what I can do. It makes me want to-- it makes me want to give you things. To do things for you. I dunno. I guess I'm just waiting for you to tell me to fuck off and finally mean it.)

The reveals go badly. Hurt and betrayal on every side. (Turns out Tim needed the money because his mom's dead, dad's in a coma, and the family company that was supposed to keep Tim afloat has gone belly up. All of his parents' money is tied up in trusts and behind red tape. He's on his own.) Jason is pissed at Tim, but pissed at Dick especially.

The brothers fight. It's a doozy. Dick apologizes for going over Jason's head and manipulating things. Jason apologizes for being an asshole and making Dick feel like he has to be the responsible golden child 24/7, and also for punching Dick in the face. They promise to do better. Then Jason tracks Tim down to his shitty apartment (Tim had seemed super nervous the one time Jason had tried to come home with him, and now he thinks he knows why) and bangs on his door. He hasn't been to school in over a week.

They fight. It's great.

("What you did was shitty." "Yeah." "I don't forgive you for it." "...yeah." "So you better start thinking about how you're gonna fuckin' make it up to me." "Y-yeah?" "Yeah. Like fuck I'm missing prom this year when I finally have a fuckin' boyfriend.") (Now kiss)

[don't ask me how old they are/what grades they're in. i simply do not want to contemplate it. i'd call this a college au for my own sanity, but the very premise and interest in social hierarchies is just so inherently high school that it would fall apart lmfao]

[ordinaryschmuck]

Alright, last time ever that I’ll talk about Velma. I promise.

Because I’ve been extra salty towards this show all week, and I don’t want to take it further than that. Talking nothing but bad stuff about this show for the entirety of its run is exactly what the writers want. They want us to hate watch it so we can talk about each new atrocity the show brings up week after week, and call us haters or anti-woke propagandists. When, in reality, they don’t give a FUCK about any of that. They don’t care about other races, genders, or sexualities. They just WANT you to think they do. Know how I can tell? Because I’ve SEEN genuine attempts of representation.

THIS is a genuine attempt of representation. Matt Braly, the series creator of Amphibia and a Thai-American, felt like Thai culture was underrepresented in media. So, he not only made his main character and her Thai, but he also dedicated subplots and entire episodes showcasing the culture he wanted to represent.

THIS is a genuine attempt at representation. Dana Terrace, series creator of The Owl House and open Bisexual, wanted a main character that was explicitly bi to finally help kids feel like they’re seen. To help give the representation SHE always wanted.

But when I look at Velma? None of it hits the same.

This isn’t a genuine attempt for representation. This is Mindy Kuling turning a character into a self-insert to make herself look smarter than everyone else and the most important person in a narrative. Truth is, this Velma is nothing more than a sociopath, narcissistic dipshit who thinks she’s better than everyone else but is actually more aggravating than endearing.

So...Good job representing YOURSELF there, Mindy.

And this?

This isn’t representation. This is a shield.

A way to protect the show from any criticism because it couldn’t possibly be bad. They have gay characters! Gay characters are good in everything!

Except that is the LAST reason you should include gay characters! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE more LGBTQA+ representation in media. What I don’t love is obvious attempts to pander to audiences just to avoid criticisms. And keep in mind, this is NOT the first attempt a creator wanted to make Velma gay.

James Gunn wanted to make her gay in the live action movie, but WB said no.

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (the GOAT of the Scooby-Doo franchise) wanted to make Velma gay, but could only imply it because Cartoon Network didn’t greenlit Steven Universe yet.

THOSE are genuine attempts to make Velma gay, to represent people because the creators of both products agreed that it was the least they could do.

But making Velma and Daphne a thing just to protect a show is nothing more than shallow and inconsiderate of the hard fight dozens of people put up with for the sake of representation.

And, honestly, I’d be a little more forgiving if the writing in Velma was good. But it’s not.

Within the first minute, this show features...

Cockroaches having sex...

And fifteen year olds taking a shower to make a joke about how over-sexualized a series’ pilot can be.

First of all: FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FIND THIS SCREEN SHOT FOR A POINT!

Second: You lose every ounce of credibility that you actually care about people when one of the first moves you make in your series is to sexualize minors for the sake of a joke.

A joke that doesn’t make sense at that. Point me to a series pilot that’s over-sexualized. If you get more than ten, I’ll say you have a point. I won’t say that sexualizing minors to make it was a good thing, but I’ll at least say that, “Yeah. You’re right. So many pilots do this. SO STOP DOING IT!”

That’s the level of writing Velma has. And it’s why they have their “representation” to protect themselves. Meanwhile, you want to know the level of writing you’ll find in The Owl House and Amphibia?

Villains who prove that the most dangerous people are the ones who make the rules.

Jokes that are actually funny.

Likable main protagonists who are kind and caring to the people around them.

Protagonists who have heartfelt relationships with other great characters, to the point that it breaks your heart to see them leave each other.

And on top of that, actually good representation. But here’s the thing: The representation isn’t only genuine. It’s a bonus. Something great to add onto everything else the writers and the creators do right.

What it isn’t is an attempt to protect a show from what it does wrong.

And that’s it. That’s the LAST time I’ll ever talk about Velma. I really mean it this time.

Talking about this show past it’s premier is already more attention it deserves. And if you were smart, you would not only stop watching, but stop talking. The best attention to give something you hate is NO attention.

If you really want to waste time, waste it by watching something good, like The Owl House and Amphibia. They may be kids shows, but they have more maturity than a single second of Velma.

[gryficowa]

You know what's depressing? The discriminated against attacking the other discriminated against, in short, they fight for themselves but discriminate against other groups with the same

LGBT+ people using ableism (Autism as an insult), gays persecuting trans people, Muslims attacking other Muslims because in their area there is a different culture where the face is not covered or the hijab is not obligatory, Jews attacking other Jews for being anti-Zionist, etc.…

This will not help us much if we eat each other, we may be different, but we experience the same or similar, in that we consider other groups less important than us, we cannot connect because the right-wing side has separated us, spreading propaganda on each one of us

What about LGBT+ Muslims? What about non-white LGBT+ people? What about LGBT people+ with disabilities? Many of us combine into several discriminated groups, not just one. Do these people have to be condemned to discrimination from their own because they combine several discriminated groups instead of one? Fighting for just one cause only hurts, without connection, we will not be able to move forward

What must LGBT+ Muslims have felt when they were treated as an intruder in both of the groups they belong to? How did people with ASD or ADHD feel when they heard ableism from those who were supposed to be their safety?

Why did we allow ourselves to be divided by propaganda that aimed to dehumanize us? Now we fight separately and treat people as intruders when they are not just from one discriminated group? People are dimensional and that's beautiful, so why do we treat these people this way?

Let's look for common features, not those that divide us, we are human and we have more in common than we want to believe, black people and Muslims have common types of discrimination, i.e. how they are perceived by racists (As a threat), people with ASD and Muslims have similar representations in mainstream media (i.e. trying hard to please the privileged, and not discriminated against) etc.

This division has given us nothing and has only led to discriminated groups doing the same thing they are fighting against to other discriminated groups, and this should never happen

I could never understand why all discriminated groups do not fight for each of them, but only for those like them, i.e. from one group, yes, there are features associated with specific groups, but these are small things compared to what unites us, if we will look at what discrimination this group experiences, let's see more in common than what divides us, maybe the sieges are different, maybe the intensity of discrimination is different, but the rest? She is the same, the same feelings, the same pain, the same struggles and the same fight for her rights in this world that hates us

The story may be different but it's not discrimination, it's just aimed at a different group and that's the whole difference between all of us

The only thing we want is for these injustices to end and for the new generations to be able to be themselves without the pain that we ourselves have experienced. I'm tired of hearing the arguments "If you're not the X group, why do you care?", maybe because they experience it. himself, but it is only directed at a different group than me? Maybe I feel this helplessness which one do they feel? Maybe I know this anger and pain? This division has made it impossible for us to connect, even though we have so much in common

Being white, you can support black people and Muslims when you yourself belong to discriminated groups (LGBT+, disability, national minority, etc…), so why do people think it's strange that you understand these people? Why do they look at you like you're a fool for admiring their courage? Why do they want to divide us and why do we give in to it?

I've felt this for a long time, but with what's going on in Palestine and seeing how people use pinkwashing towards them, or seeing how this dead logic of "A Muslim is 100% queerphobe" is used while trying to erase them as LGBT+ people, and I don't like it when they are discriminated against by others who are discriminated against, as a person with ASD I know that women (including black women) were not diagnosed because "Autism only affects white boys", so why is it now directed at queer Muslims?

Why do we reject them for being LGBT+? It's depressing that we hurt our own people for not being like us

Why are we silent about how we were divided? About those minorities who don't fit into the framework? Why are pinkwashing and queerbaiting used as weapons? Why were those discriminated against allowed to be deceived by propaganda that was supposed to discriminate? We should fight it, not accept it, because it will destroy us all

For queer Palestinians, Sudanese, Congolese, Ukrainians, Armenians, all of them, let's fight this division

[satansapostle6]

fire and ice | james cook

Cook’s interest is piqued when an old childhood friend moves in across the street.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content.

part four.

part five. empty.

Tiff shrieked loudly with laughter, feeling particularly drunk and high that Friday night. Cook was even higher as the two of them sat up in Tiff’s bed, drinking. They were both laughing hysterically as Cook slowly crawled over Tiffany’s body on the bed, his eyes dark with intoxication.

“Here comes the Cookie Monster!” Cook gave a toothy grin as Tiffany writhed with both amusement and discomfort at the same time.

“No, stop!” she cackled with laughter as he tickled her. “Cook! Stop it!”

He could hardly keep it together as he watched her squirm, alarmed by the sensation in her intoxicated state.

“Tickle fight!” Cook announced, loving the attention.

Tiff couldn’t stop laughing against her own will, her skin feeling as if it were on fire wherever he touched her. She hated being tickled, but somehow, with Cook, it didn’t quite bother her in the same way; it didn’t come with that unsafe feeling it usually did, like being molested by an uncle. With Cook, it was just something funny.

Tiff panted heavily as his fingertips tickled her stomach, looking up at him as he was positioned over her body, looking into her eyes. He suddenly felt rather bashful as he saw her lightly panting underneath him, chest softly rising up and down with each breath. He slowly pulled himself off of her, allowing her a moment to compose herself as he did the same.

“You’re really fucking something, you know that?” James Cook said under his breath, eyes slowly raking over her.

“Cook. Stop it,” Tiff said, this time less playful as she involuntarily made a face.

“No, no, I’m serious,” he assured her. “I mean, like… you’re more than fit.”

“Thanks,” she replied curtly.

He loudly sucked his teeth in exasperation, frustrated as she didn’t seem to understand what he had meant by that.

“No, Tiff, I mean like… Your features and stuff, yeah?” he questioned, hoping she followed.

“What about them?” she inquired.

“They’re just… I don’t know. They look right,” he expressed, strangely impassioned, “You know?”

“My face looks right?”

“Stop being a tit!” Cook complained. “I’m trying to tell you… Your face… It’s just perfect-looking. Like, if I was to try and picture good eyes, or a good nose, or good bones, it would be yours, every time,” he breathed, in awe of her.

“You’re fucking pissed out of your mind,” she concluded, more than observant of the way he was slurring his words.

“I am,” he admitted, “Which means I’m being extra-honest!”

“But you also just want to shag me,” Tiff reasoned.

“Two things can be true at once, can’t they?” he pointed out. “I can want to get you naked and think you’re beautiful. Wouldn’t I want to shag you because you’re beautiful?”

Tiff stopped for a moment, a satisfied grin on her face.

“The Cook thinks I’m ‘beautiful’?” she concluded.

She was delighted to watch as a look of realization slowly took over his features as he caught his mistake.

“Did I use that word?!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, you did!” Tiff cackled triumphantly.

“Shut the fuck up!” Cook complained, angrily tossing a pillow at her.

She caught it with ease, fully aware of the fact that he’d made it seem like he’d thrown it harder than he had. That was the thing with Cook; he always made his throws look harder than they were. The only reason Tiff hadn’t written him off when they’d first met as just another shallow, thoughtless wanker who could’ve cared less about her was because of the way he treated her.

Yes, Cook was wild, and funny, and playful, but he was rarely mean-spirited. Cook’s behavior was hardly ever targeted; it was just impulsive and essentially coincidental. Most boys Tiff had known would constantly be tearing others down or trying to prove themselves superior in every wild, crazy thing they did. That wasn’t necessarily the case with Cook.

Cook hurting someone was almost always a coincidence rather than an act of inconsideration. He treaded more carefully than one would’ve expected him to. Tiff knew that, when he hurt people, it was never intended at all. In fact, Cook usually meant to do the opposite. His outlandish antics and reckless behavior were meant to entertain and inspire; he was strangely inclusive in his antics.

Cook watched quietly as Tiff took another brutal swig of less-than-chilled vodka, gulping it down as she sat beside him.

“Tiff?” his voice cut through the pregnant pause between them.

“Yeah?” rasped as she looked back up at him.

“…Will you touch me?” he asked her with a concerning politeness.

Tiff just scowled, automatically writing this off as another weird joke.

“Go fuck yourself,” she replied, meaning what she said quite literally.

“No, not like that,” he said dismissively, a haze of intoxication guiding him as he chased his every whim. “I mean, like… Just hold me, or something. Like I’m your friend.”

“…You are my friend,” Tiff reminded him, starting to realize that this wasn’t a joking moment.

“Then will you just… be here with me?” he asked hopefully, blue eyes glassy as he fought the drunken urge to fall asleep.

“What about the girls you fuck?” she asked him. “Don’t they hold you after? Or, whatever it is you’re into.”

“Sometimes,” he remarked, deep in thought. “Not as often as you’d think, though. Besides. Doesn’t feel like you.”

“How do you mean?” she questioned, expecting a flirty response of some sort.

“I mean, like… When they touch me, it’s like I know we’re about to fuck. Which, you know, is cool, and everything,” he chuckled, eventually snapping back out of it. “But, I don’t know, Tiff, when you touch me, it’s different. Like when you touch me, it doesn't feel like you want something… Like, I can just be, you know?”

“I think I do,” she nodded. “Cookie… Is it possible that you appreciate that I’m not just here to fuck you?” she guided his thought process.

He paused for a moment, having to really consider.

“Maybe,” he conceded. “But, I’d still be game if you wanted to play with my willy a bit,” he added in quickly, prompting her to roll her eyes.

He just laughed as he laid down on her pillow, looking up at her for permission. She laid down beside him, reaching to turn her bedside lamp off before she settled in completely. Tiff laid down on her side of the bed as Cook slowly leaned into her, his body curling into a ball as he used her like a pillow, comfortable as his eyes began to close.

*****

Tiff’s eyes slowly opened to let in the light dimmed by the black curtains. And as she’d half-expected, Cook was gone in the morning. The only trace of him left behind in her bedroom was the empty bottle still rattling around on the messy bed, and the nearly empty pack of cigarettes left behind on the bedside table littered with garbage.

That was all Cook was, Tiff realized. Empty. Empty, and garbage. Empty garbage.

-

part six.

[offside-the-lines]

Am I Ready (To Be Loved) | Nathan MacKinnon

Summary: Nate is not known to be impulsive, especially when it comes to love. So what happens when he gets a crazy idea while hungover the day after the Avalanche Stanley Cup parade. a/n: Happy Holidays folks! My first fic back (on this new blog) is a reworking of a fic I wrote for my Winter Prompt request last year (for @fallinallincurls). Thought I needed to start somewhere. This is obviously set in 2022 because I can't stand the idea of the avs squad being different. It also features some of our fave tropes. Pairing: Nathan McKinnon x Female!OC Words: 8K Warnings: alcohol Requests: Open | Masterlist

Charlotte hated these fancy functions. The schmoozing and the small talk were things that made her feel like she was going to crawl out of her skin. No matter how much she would normally enjoy conversation, this just felt fake. And she knew how ridiculous it was. She worked in media. She was always in front of cameras. She took this job knowing this was a requirement. It doesn’t change the truth that, at her core, she would rather be on the couch watching some TV show on Netflix.

Although this wasn’t the first formal event she’d ever been to, this was the first Colorado Avalanche donors’ function. It didn’t help that she had only been working as a correspondent for Altitude TV for a few months; so many knew her name and her face, but no one really knew her personally. So, it was just smile, small talk, comment on the Avs, rinse and repeat.

After an hour or so of this, she was feeling done. Heading to the bar for a drink and found a cocktail table in the corner of the room, tucked near the obscenely large Christmas Tree, where she could just stand and watch. Charlotte looked around the room and wondered how long she had to stay before it was not inappropriate to leave.

“Hate these parties too, eh?” a familiar voice rang beside her.

Despite her shattered solitude, the voice brought out a smile on her face. “What do you mean? I don’t hate this?” she replied, not putting in much effort to hide the sarcasm in her voice. She turned to face the voice and the sight almost startled her a little as she felt her face warm. There stood Nathan Mackinnon in his perfectly tailored navy suit, eyes shining in the dim lighting. She takes a drink quickly to distract herself, reminding herself to be a professional.

“Sure,” he chuckled, “hiding in a dark corner isn’t avoiding the party, Charlotte.”

She shrugs as she turns her eyes back to the party.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers in her ear, making her neck tingle a little, “I really don’t like these parties either. I would rather be at home on the couch with my dog watching TV.”

As he leaned back to sip his drink, she turned to him in surprise. “Oh yeah? Like what? More hockey tape?”

After a bit of light banter, they find that they have the same favorite show, much to Charlotte’s surprise. In the dim corner of a fancy event, they are quoting their favorite lines to each other, trying their hardest not to burst out laughing, hiding themselves behind their drinks so as to not draw too much attention at such a fancy event. Charlotte’s laughing so hard she snorts a little, causing Nate to look at her in surprise before continuing to laugh even harder, drawing some looks from the donors and teammates closest to them. After a while, when they both finally calm down, she feels herself relax a little.

They stood in a comfortable silence for a few more moments before Nate spoke up again. “You know, Charlotte. You ask me questions all the time, but I don’t think I really know anything about you other than your name and your job title.”

“I mean, I only really ever ask you questions about the game or the team,” she responds.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you already know everything there is to know about me,” he said pointedly, but softly. He had a point; it was her job to know as much about the players as possible.

“Okay, I know about NHL Hockey Player, Avs’ Center, Forward Extraordinaire Nathan “Nate the Dogg” Mackinnon,” she says, flashing her hands in front as if to signal an imaginary banner, “I don’t know Nate “a dude who sits on his couch with his dog watching dumb shows” Mackinnon.”

“Alright, that’s fair,” he responds deep in thought. “Fine, how about we play 20 questions? You ask me a question; I ask you a question.”

“How very high school, Nathan,” she pauses to think about it. She wasn’t really sure how to feel about this new friendship. On the one hand, it is her job to get to know the players. Although, she was pretty sure that the fraternizing was only supposed to be in professional contexts. On the other hand, her heart was beating so hard that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. And at the end of the day, it was Nathan Mackinnon, and he wanted to get to know her. Besides, she knew that he didn’t really date anyway, so she felt safe that there was one of them keeping their feelings in check. Eventually, she responds with a nod, “Sure.”

“Okay!” He said excitedly, his blue eyes lighting up, “Where are you from? Where did you grow up and go to college and stuff?”

“Nathan, that’s two questions. Should I deduct points from you?”

“There are points now?”

“I’m just kidding.”

And so, they went back and forth getting to know each other, talking animatedly, and laughing heartily, until they got through the 20 questions each. At one point, they had migrated to a table to continue sitting down because Nate noticed she was shifting on her feet from the heels. Charlotte was pretty certain that Nate now knew her better than anyone else in Denver.

Eventually, EJ came over and tapped Nate on the shoulder at which point she looked up and realized that most of his teammates and donors had left and they were a few of the last people remaining in the event space.

“Hey,” EJ smiled at you in his signature toothless way, “good to see you’re having fun, Charlotte.”

“Thanks, EJ,” she smiled back.

“Mac Daddy, you’re kind of my ride home, so… are you ready to leave?” EJ said laughing and looked at Charlotte, “I don’t think I’ve ever had to pull Nathan here away from a party before. He is usually begging me to leave.”

Nate bumped his elbow into EJ, not drawing much of a response, as he quickly looked away from her. She could have sworn his cheeks were turning a little pink, but that could also be the lighting.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s late and I want to be up for morning skate tomorrow, unlike you lazy idiots,” Nathan grumbled standing up.

She stood up too, only now realizing how tired you were. “Yeah, damn, it’s late. Well, I had a great time talking to you Nathan,” sending him a warm smile and a nod, “EJ. See you two later.”

As she started walking away, she heard some whispers behind her before Nate called out, “Hey, Charlotte, you good to get home? I mean, do you need a ride?”

“Oh, um… Actually… Sure. That would be nice. Thanks!”

She saw EJ whisper something in Nate’s ear before he was quickly shoved away. Suddenly feeling awkward, she trailed behind them quietly to Nate’s car. As soon as it was in sight, EJ called shotgun and started making a run for it, slipping a little on the ice, making Charlotte and Nate snort with laughter.

Nate offered a hand to guide her across the slippery ground and opened the car door for her, keeping his hand on her as she climbed in. She directed Nate to her apartment, thanking him and EJ quickly as she left. Once she got into her apartment, Charlotte leaned against the door and just smiled for a bit.

*          *          *

Meanwhile, in the car, EJ was basically yelling at Nate.

“Dude, you dog, what was that?”

“EJ, stop.”

“No, I’m serious. I’ve never seen you talk to someone for that long. Not even Barrie or Sid.”

“She was easy to talk to. And it was a good way to get through the event.”

“Nate, don’t give me that bullshit.” EJ’s voice is rarely serious, but it is now.

“I don’t know what to tell you, dude.” Nate shrugged.

The rest of the ride to EJ’s house is quiet and as Nate pulled into the driveway, EJ finally spoke up again, “Tell me you at least got her number.”

“Shit,” Nate let out under his breath before he could stop himself.

“Oh my god, you idiot. You didn’t get her number.”

Nate let out a groan and tapped his forehead firmly on his steering wheel in frustration. As EJ shook his head, and said his goodbyes, Nate’s head was whirring with thoughts. There was no smooth way to ask for her number now. It’s like he missed an exit on the freeway and there was no way off now. The alcohol and the adrenaline meant he didn’t sleep much that night and, for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t make it to the optional morning skate, much to the surprise of everyone.

The rest of the season flew by as the team soared through the playoffs. Nate kept thinking about ways to ask Charlotte for her number but just couldn’t stop overthinking it and psyching himself out; eventually deciding to table the topic until after the season was over to focus on the Cup. But he reveled in every intermission or postgame interview where they got to talk, or the little conversations they would get to have in the arena or on the plane. Occasionally, he’d even slip in a hug, taking in her perfume, under the guise of celebration.

The gossip had now spread through the group — not surprising since EJ has never once kept a secret — and had been an ongoing chirp for Nate. It didn’t help that at the two galas since, Nate was the first one there excitedly scanning the room, but Charlotte wasn’t at either. He’d learn she was covering the Nuggets or the Rapids those nights and would then leave as early as possible.

It got even harder to not think about her as he neared the end of the season, where every phone call with his mom would eventually turn to his cousin’s wedding in the summer and whether he was going to bring a date. Family weddings were the one time he felt he couldn’t leave early, forcing himself to endure the suffering that was being single in your late twenties and watching people be in love. Not to mention all the comments and questions: wanting gossip, wanting a date, feeling sorry for him.

*          *          *

Charlotte was happy with the casual platonic friendship that she had found with Nate. She always looked forward to talking with him at games because he was always more relaxed with her than the other boys, even occasionally giving her a sweaty hug after a good, exciting win. Her co-workers had made some comments about how unusual it was, but she just chalked it up to them knowing each other better now.

The job kept her busy, busier than anticipated. And it felt like the year had flown by before she found herself at the celebration gala for the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions. The atmosphere was different from the last event she had been to. That one was for schmoozing. This was only for celebrating. The energy in the room was intoxicating and she had a big smile plastered to her face as soon as she walked in.

Charlotte made her way through the crowd and congratulated everyone she saw and recognized. Eventually, she stumbled into Gabe.

“Congratulations, Gabe!” you yelled.

“Lotteee! Thank you!” he yelled back, pulling her in for a tight hug before spinning her around. He was so drunk, but he did look unbelievably happy. When he finally put her down, he grabbed her by the arm and very dramatically whispered in her ear while pointing, “Nate’s that way.”

She looked at him confused and surprised, but he didn’t let her say anything before not so gently pushing her towards Nate. And she didn’t protest, because when she finally saw him, she felt her heart speed up again. He looked jubilant, swaying slightly with EJ, face pink and hair messy. She had learned over the last month or so that she really liked the way he looked with the playoff beard.

Charlotte wasn’t sure whether to disturb whatever EJ and Nate were doing, but once EJ saw her, he let out a screech so loud she had no choice but to turn toward them. “Charlotte! Lotte! Lott Ness Monster! Come here!” But once you got here, he immediately left, vanishing to leave her standing in front of the very flushed Nathan Mackinnon.

“Hi Nathan, congratulations! Well deserved. It’s been an absolute privilege watching you this season,” she said, unsure what to do as her heart kept racing faster at the way drunk Nate was looking at her.

“Oh, stop with that professional speech and give me a hug,” he slurred, pulling her in tightly.

She chuckled and let herself enjoy the warmth and the firm contours of his body against her before forcing herself to pull away. He only let her get so far, leaving one arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

“It’s nice to see you enjoying yourself at an event like this,” she said softly.

“Well, I had to! You weren’t at the last two of these, so I had to find a way to entertain myself with EJ,” he said, pouting. She had certainly never seen him pout, but she was even more surprised that he noticed and cared.

“Oh! Yeah, I had work. Sorry.”

“I know. Who even cares about the Nuggets.” he mumbled under his breath before throwing his head back and yelling a quick “GO AVS!” that was followed by a loud round of cheers. After a few seconds, he piped up excited again, “Are you enjoying yourself today?”

“Um… I think so! It’s nice to see everyone so happy and energetic.” Her eyes scanned the crowd, smiling until she caught Gabe and EJ staring and pointing at them. Before she had the chance to ask Nate what that was about, he was pulling her towards Mikko on the other side of the room.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of drinks, laughs, and the warm firm feeling of Nate’s arm around her shoulders. With each passing drink, she found herself leaning into it more. She was sure her face was so red that it rivaled JT’s hair. But if the boys noticed, which they were too drunk to notice, they didn’t mention it. And even if they did, she doesn’t remember.

*          *          *

The next morning Nate woke up with the worst hangover of his life. He had collapsed on top of all his sheets fully naked, and so he also woke up with a slight feeling of shame and dread at what he might have done the night before. When he finally reached over to check his phone, it was blowing up with messages.

gabe the babe (INCOMING): dude did nate finally hook up with the lott ness monster

JT (INCOMING): omg nate, you have to tell us if you did

mooseman (INCOMING): he definitely did, did you not see how he literally didn’t stop touching her the whole night

Nate buried his head in his sheets and groaned, trying to rack his brain for memories of himself being an idiot around Charlotte last night. But he was drawing a blank. After minutes, he finally lifted his head again and opened a private text to EJ.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): ej, please tell me you remember if I did something stupid last night

EJ (INCOMING): yeah. you did.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): FUCK what did I do

EJ (INCOMING): you didn’t take lotte home with you you fucking idiot

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): what

EJ (INCOMING): you just fucking disappeared in an uber without even saying goodbye. and EYE had to make sure she got home okay

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): oh, well it could’ve been worse

EJ (INCOMING): HOW

EJ (INCOMING): HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): idk if I did something stupid or said something bad

EJ (INCOMING): dude, you have got to ask her out, you two clearly like each other

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): i have no idea what you’re talking about. we're just friends. we just work together. like you and me

EJ (INCOMING): YEAH RIGHT DOGG if you were touching me all night like that, we would be having a very different conversation ;)

EJ (INCOMING): please tell me you at least have her number now

Nate paused and thought back to the night before, but it was such a blur he didn’t know. But when he looked in his contacts, her number wasn’t there.

Nate Dogg (OUTGOING): nope

EJ (INCOMING): you are so fucking hopeless. i hope you find a pair at home this summer so you will finally do something about this crush

EJ (INCOMING): or maybe when we come back in the fall, she won’t be so single anymore and it won’t matter

Nate felt his stomach turn and he groaned. The hangover finally hit him but he was typing a sarcastic response when another message interrupted his thought.

Sarah (INCOMING): congrats again bro! are you bringing someone to the wedding?

Nate (OUTGOING): wow, really cutting to the chase this morning.

Nate (OUTGOING): and no.

Sarah (INCOMING): what you’re telling me a stanley cup winner can’t find a date

Nate groaned again and muffled a scream in his pillow. He knew that his sister and mom would not drop this subject from the moment he got home. He knew that they would probably try to set him on dates, or worse introduce him to every single woman at the wedding. He lay there, head on his pillow, for a long time, until finally, he had an absolutely insane idea. An idea that can only come to someone after the happiest day of their life followed by the biggest hangover of their life.

Nate (OUTGOING): fine, I’ll bring someone

Sarah (INCOMING): OH MY GOD WHAT WHO

Sarah (INCOMING): NATHAN RAYMOND MACKINNON IF YOU’VE BEEN DATING SOMEONE THIS WHOLE TIME AND HIDING IT FROM ME, I’LL KILL YOU. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU’VE WON.

Nate (OUTGOING): nope, not telling

Sarah (INCOMING): you are a child and i hate you

Nate (OUTGOING): I love you. See you soon.

Sarah (INCOMING): URGH

Sarah (INCOMING): Love you too. I’m calling mom.

*          *          *

Charlotte woke up with a splitting headache and the room spinning at 6 am. And despite how horribly she felt, she couldn’t get back to sleep. She could still feel Nate’s arm on her shoulder, and his lips against her ear as he whispered something unintelligible, and the scent of his cologne lingering on her hair would waft into her memory every few seconds making her heart skip. She was absolutely certain that he was more drunk than she was, and that he was a touchy drunk. She felt even a little guilty for taking advantage of his touchiness, getting as much as she could last night.

After a few hours of being unable to get back to sleep, she peeled herself up and drew herself a bath with a cup of tea. She still wasn’t able to stomach food yet, but she felt her body relaxing in the warm water, finally letting Nate slip from her mind. Eventually, she got up and padded around the house thinking about the long summer ahead. It was her first summer with not a lot of work to do, and since it was her first year in Denver, she also didn’t really know many people or have any concrete plans.

She had just sat down at her computer to research ideas when she heard a buzz on her apartment intercom. She looked down at her phone confused, but there were no texts there from the few friends she had made so far.

“Hello?” she stutters cautiously into the intercom.

“Oh my god, thank fuck,” a familiar voice rang back, “it’s you. I’ve been buzzing every apartment and I swear your neighbors think I’m a crazy person.”

“What?”

“Um. Oh. Sorry, Charlotte. It’s Nate.”

She was stunned silent. Stunned and confused.

“Um… Nathan Mackinnon…” He filled the silence nervously, “You know… From the Avalanche.”

That snapped her out of her trance as a laugh bubbled out of her. “Oh my god Nathan, I know who you are. Sorry. I was just confused. How do you know where I live?”

“Um, well when we first met, I dropped you off here. So, I made the gamble that you still lived here and just buzzed every apartment to see.”

“Oh. Wow,” she says, stunned, confused and flattered, “Um, is everything okay?”

“Ah, yeah.” He paused. “You know, I just realized how dumb this was. I’m really sorry to disturb you—”

“No!” she says louder than she intended, “No, Nathan, wait. Let me buzz you up.”

“Oh, okay, yeah! Thanks!”

She paced around her entryway, thoughts racing. The door knocks still startled her, and as she walked over, she looked down at her sweatpants and realized there definitely was no time to change and prayed she looked okay.

“Hi, Nathan,” she smiled, opening the door, “Um, do you want to come in?”

“Oh, sure,” he hesitates and makes a gesture to hug her before chickening out, pulling away and stepping past her.

“So, what brings you to my humble abode today?”

“Your apartment is cute.”

“Thanks. It’s not NHL superstar level, but it’s pretty good to me.”

He chuckles and leans a hip on the kitchen island, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His eyes were firmly trained on the ground. She wasn’t really sure what to say, so she moved behind him to start making them both some tea. He studies her as she moves around and wonders how it’s possible she looks so good in your sweatpants and messy bun when he feels like his entire guts might just drop out of his body.

Eventually, he spoke up, “Um, so I realized I didn’t have your number.”

This made her laugh, a proper belly laugh. “What,” she manages to get out, “you came all the way here because you don’t have my number.”

“Well…” he hesitates, “Yeah. I mean, I never asked for it I guess.”

“Okay, do you want it now?” she was still laughing.

“Um, yes?” He was shifting on his feet, rubbing his neck with his hand, leaning awkwardly on the countertop.

“Okay,” she reached a hand out.

He looks at her confused and gives it a slap.

“That was for your phone, silly. Not for a five,” she was laughing even harder now. And his cheeks turned bright red as he handed her his phone, not meeting her eyes. She passes the phone back to him along with a cup of tea, “There you go. So… What was the huge rush? You could’ve emailed me or something for it.”

He paused and laughed, “Honestly, I didn’t even think of that. I guess my brain doesn’t work very well when I’m hungover.”

Charlotte took a seat next to him on the kitchen island as they sipped their teas.

After a few minutes, he clears his throat. “Actually, that’s not why I came over. I mean it, but it isn’t the main reason.”

“Okay?” she encouraged.

“I had a really stupid idea and it was stupid at the time, but now I’m here it’s even dumber. So, I’ll just settle for the number.”

“Okay, Nathan, you can’t just say something that cryptic and not tell me.”

His face went bright red again and he shuffled in place. “No, it’s okay.”

“Okay, no. You don’t get to interrupt my hangover recovery and not tell me why.”

He sighed and looked away. After a while, he mumbled under his breath very quickly, “Fine. Icameheretoaskyouifyou’dcometomycousin’swedding.”

“What?” she said, not sure if she misinterpreted the mumbles or if she was dreaming.

“Um… Well, my cousin, back in Nova Scotia, is getting married in a few weeks. And my mom and sister keep bothering me to bring someone. And I just had this stupid idea. Because you’re the only person I’ve had fun with at those big events. So, this morning, in my post-Stanley Cup alcohol delirium I thought Hey, I should ask Charlotte if she wants to help me survive a social event and get my parents off my ass about not having a date? So here I am. But obviously, that was insane. So don’t worry about it.”

Charlotte looked at him, mouth open, in shock for longer than acceptable, and felt her own cheeks redden. A little lightheaded, before she could really stop to think, she responded, “Sure! I mean why not? What’s the harm in me going? I don’t have any plans.”

His head snapped up to meet her eyes for the first time in a few minutes and Charlotte is captivated by the way his sharp blues light up in response. It was when she saw the smile take over his face and her heart sped up that she knew this was probably a huge mistake. But a mistake she didn’t want to take back.

*          *          *

“So, how long have you two cuties been dating?” the fifth person in a row asked. Charlotte wasn’t sure if this was an aunt or a family friend, but she forced the smile back on her face as she responded.

“Oh, we’re not dating. We work together, kind of.”

The lady looked between the two of them, and Charlotte could feel the hairs on the back of her neck prickle again as she was acutely aware of Nate’s hand resting on her lower back.

“She’s here as my date, yes, but we aren’t dating. We’re just good friends,” he replies gently but firmly, the same way he had been doing all weekend, before changing the subject.

But she was lost in thought. She had been here for a few days, and she had to admit that Nova Scotia was beautiful, and Nate’s family and friends were wonderful. Despite not knowing Nate super well, she had never felt out of place. He had always made sure she was included in conversations, explaining anything that felt like an inside joke. She thought back to all the times she had met a boyfriend’s family — there hadn’t been that many, but enough to know that this was far better than any of them did.

Nate had been awkward and hesitant at first, jumping away every time he touched her by accident on the plane ride over and flinching when their knuckles brushed when he went to help her grab her luggage. But he slowly allowed himself to loosen up a little, reading her lack of discomfort as a good sign. He always prided himself on acting like a gentleman; even though women complained that he was stiff and unromantic, he tried. He found himself putting in an extra effort to hold open the door for her, to pull out a chair for her, to offer an elbow as she walked on the uneven pavement.

If Nate was in his head about every move he made, Charlotte was ten times more in her head. They had only really spent time together at work and work functions. And she wasn’t sure if that’s why something felt different here, more intimate, or if she was just imagining it. She was starting to feel like he was going out of his way to touch her; laying a hand on her knee when they were sitting next to each other, tapping her elbow to show her something, keeping a hand on her back when they were standing.

She had tried her hardest not to lean into his touch every time, but she couldn’t deny the comfort his large hand on her back felt—god, was his hand always this large. It was never too low as to be intrusive; just resting chastely on her mid back to remind her that he was there and was ready to take a break from the socializing at any point.

Whether she was imagining it or not, it was starting to drive her insane. Her skin constantly felt buzzing and hot, tingling in the places he touched, electrified in the places closest to him that craved his touch.

Nate’s low voice in her ear startled her out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?” she responded as she felt her neck and ear flush with the brush of his lips on her ear.

“Oh, I was just asking if you want to go for a walk,” he murmured, “you’re looking a little overwhelmed.”

“Yeah, sure,” she breathed, her voice coming out a little shaky with how close his tall frame was to her.

And so, she reached out and took his extended elbow as they slipped out of the rehearsal dinner and wandered down to the waterfront in silence.

“I can totally see why you love it here,” she finally said.

“Hmm?” he hummed.

“It’s beautiful. The water. With the lights reflecting. And all the beautiful trees. And the fresh air. I can understand why you love coming here in the summer.”

“Yeah, it’s truly something,” he looked over at her with an unreadable expression on his face, but his eyes were warm and soft. It looked like he wanted to say something for a second before he shook his head and looked away. “I’m glad you came with me. You make these big events bearable.”

“Just bearable, Nathan?” she laughed, trying to break the tension in the air she couldn’t really explain. And his chuckles were quick to join hers in the warm summer air.

And just like that, they fell into a comfortable rhythm again, laughing and chatting. Eventually, he walked her back to the hotel and their adjoining rooms.

“Well, here you go, m’lady,” he joked, letting his arm fall from her for the first time in a while. He began to turn towards his room but hesitated for a second before turning back and pulling her into a tight hug. She let herself melt into the hug, embracing the warm buzzing feeling in her chest as she felt his larger frame engulf her. He didn’t let go when she thought he was going to, instead whispering in her ear, “Thank you.”

“Thank me for what, Nathan?”

“For coming with me. For being so good with my family, even though they keep asking intrusive questions. For just being you,” he said, pulling back. They were standing so close together that she could see every shade of blue in his eyes as they looked at her intently. She swore she saw his eyes flicker to her lips briefly before the smallest sharp intake of breath he tried to hide as he untangled from her. She could feel her body ache a little as her cheeks burned.

She didn’t know if it was the glasses of wine or the dizzying tension, but before she could stop herself, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course, Nathan,” she murmured, “good night.” She smiled as she turned away and opened her hotel room door as quickly as possible.

She didn’t dare to take a peek back at him, but if she had, she would have seen his eyes wide, and cheeks flushed in shock. Instead, she quickly ducked into the room, shutting the door behind her, leaning back against the cold wood, and closing her eyes. What the fuck am I doing, she said to herself, Nate is a sweet guy, who I work with. I’m just doing him a favor. And he clearly thinks I’m just a good friend, as he keeps saying to everyone. Get it together.

She walked away and started getting ready for bed. It took her a long time to fall asleep that night, tossing and turning as her mind raced through the moments of the day, all the little touches and glances and the sparkle in Nate’s blue eyes.

 *         *          *

The following day was the wedding, and the morning passed comfortably despite neither of them acknowledging the moment they both wanted to talk about so badly. Soon, she found herself sitting beside him in the church, watching the beautiful bride stand next to her adoring groom.

While the ceremony went on, Nate was having a hard time staying out of his thoughts as the celebrant talked about love and marriage and as the happy couple exchanged adoring words with each other. It was not that he hated weddings, not at all; in fact, he loved them. He loved the celebration and the emotion. But as the years went on, it became a stunning reminder of what he did not have. With every wedding and every failed relationship in between, he felt more alone, like maybe something was wrong with him.

Charlotte noticed that Nate seemed emotional, lost in his thoughts. She had no idea what was going through his mind, but she could sense that he was troubled. At some point during the ceremony, when Nate found himself particularly emotional, he had reached his hand over and grasped hers. She had to try hard to hold back the small gasp that threatened to escape her lips. But seeing his troubled expression, she squeezed his hand. And, inexplicably to her, his hand never left hers, not during the rest of the ceremony, or the walk over to the cocktail hour space. He only reluctantly let go to help her to her seat once they got to the reception.

Although they both enjoyed the reception food, they had both been so deep in their own thoughts that their conversation with the table was stilted and almost awkward. Eventually, as the night wore on, and the gentle fuzz of liquor started to take over, they both started to relax. Nate, after starting and stopping for almost 15 minutes, finally asked her to dance; his heart rate racing as she excitedly nodded yes.

Which is how they found themselves on the dancefloor for over an hour. At first, it was awkward. They were standing a foot apart, dancing independently; she, laughing at Nate’s horrible dance moves, and Nate, feeling electrified by the way her body moved. Eventually, they got closer and closer together until they were swaying in each other’s arms to some horrible Mariah Carey song, making snide remarks in each other’s ears and not caring how obnoxiously loud they were laughing at the jokes.

A few drinks later, their inhibitions were lowered enough that she found herself with her back against him. His arms wrapped firmly around her waist as she leaned into his warm, towering figure. Both of them were no longer sure if they were intoxicated by each other or the drinks, but they did not really care. After they were grinding to a Doja Cat song, she swore she felt something press against her back, but she was not sure as Nate swiftly excused himself to use the bathroom.

And that’s how she found herself at the bar by herself.

“Nate really likes you, you know?” she heard a voice say beside her. When she looked over, she saw his mom giving her a knowing glance.

“Oh, Mrs. Mackinnon, we’re just friends,” Charlotte managed to choke out, despite feeling her throat tighten.

“I know, sweetie, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be more there,” she smiled, laying a soft hand on her forearm. She had never felt herself sober up faster.

“I appreciate that, but we do work together,” she strained.

“Please, call me Kathy,” she continued, not acknowledging Charlotte’s weak protest. And when she did not respond, Kathy added, “You know, I’ve met a number of his girlfriends, and he had never looked at them the way he looks at you. Or even treated them the same way. He’s barely left your side since you got here.”

“Kathy, I’m sure that’s not true. You have raised an amazing son. I’m sure he is just as kind to anyone.” She could feel her cheeks feel heat as she started scanning the room, desperate for Nate’s return.

“Sweetheart,” Kathy spoke softly, “I have been married for many years. There is only one reason a person looks at someone the way he looks at you, and that’s love. If you feel the same way, you should tell him. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.”

She smiled as her husband came to stand next to her; and before Charlotte could protest again, she gave her a gentle hug before walking away, leaving her standing there with her head spinning at her words.

Charlotte gripped the edge of the bar and downed her drink in one go once the bartender handed it to her, earning an eyebrow raise. She jumped and let out a little squeak when she felt a warm hand press into her back.

“Woah, it’s just me,” Nate joked before he met her eyes and his brows furrowed, “are you okay?”

“Um, yeah,” she croaked out stiffly.

“Are you sure?” he stepped in closer which only made her stiffen more, “You seem… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable?”

“What?” she tried to say calmly, although it came out an octave too high, “What makes you say that? Nope. I’m fine.”

He furrowed his brow more and leaned back, confused, before removing his hand from her back and stuffing them in his pockets. There was a twinge of sadness in his eye as he looked around, unsure what to do. “Okay, then. Do you want to go back on the dance floor? Or I guess not. We could sit back at our table?”

“Yeah,” she said awkwardly, finding a normal tone again, “Table sounds good.”

They sat in silence for a bit, just watching the other guests dancing, both deep in thought. She was stuck thinking about what Nate’s mom had said. If she thought about it, she could totally understand why an outside observer would see their relationship as something more than friends. But if Nate had feelings for her, why did he so insistently refer to her as his “good friend”? And even if he did like her, she wasn’t sure about the implications for her job. Was she going to get fired? Probably not, if she was upfront with HR. But she was new to the city and relatively new to the field. What if people started to see her as the girl who ‘goes for the stars’ or the girl who’s ‘just here to get in some rich athlete’s pants’. She had worked too hard not to be taken seriously now. And maybe if things worked out, it would eventually blow over. But if it didn’t work out… If it didn’t work out, she wasn’t sure what would happen, but she felt it would be bad.

Meanwhile, Nate was panicking; combing through every moment of the evening, trying to find where things went wrong. He was finally feeling like he had an idea of how she felt. Like maybe if he told her his feelings, she would reciprocate. Did he go too far with the dancing? Was Drunk Nate too caught up in the moment and did something inappropriate and unwanted? Nate was never much of a verbal processor — he preferred to stew on things first, —  and maybe it was the remnants of the alcohol lingering in his system but he felt the words trying to bubble up in his chest. He didn’t even know what the words would be; maybe words to explain how he felt about her, to make sure he didn’t do something wrong, to make sure she was okay.

When she finally felt the grip on her chest loosen and the thoughts begin to slow a little, she snuck a quick glance at Nate. His jaw was set firm, and brows furrowed. He was staring into the crowd on the dancefloor, but he was clearly not watching them. He looked tense, and she could see the panic she felt reflected on his face. She found herself reaching out and taking his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze; a move that clearly surprised him as he jumped a little before smiling and relaxing into it.

“Nate, I’m actually getting kind of tired. I’m thinking of heading back to the room. Did you want to stay longer?” she said gently.

He squeezed her hand back and gave her a small smile, although the worry hadn’t left the contours of his face yet, “No, I’m actually ready to head back too. Come on.” He pulled her onto her feet.

They took the ten-minute walk back to the hotel in relative silence, tethered together by their interlocked hands. Nate spent the whole walk back planning his speech; he was going to tell her how he felt because he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Holding hands with her just felt so right. But for her, despite how nice it felt, it caused an overwhelming sense of panic to rush back through her. It was nice. It was too nice. It was going to ruin everything.

Stepping out of the elevator, the words escaped her lips before she had the chance to hold them back. “Nate, I think this was a mistake,” her voice was barely above a whisper. He froze beside her and managed to choke out a “What?”

“Nate,” she said, pulling her hand away from him and backing towards her door, “This is giving me a taste of what I can’t have. And this friendship… I don’t think I can do this.”

“What are you talking about?” he replied, still stuck in the spot where she left him, his voice louder than he had intended.

“The touching, the holding hands, the being sweet… It’s too much,” she said, unlocking the door, not meeting his eyes.

“What—” he repeated, his voice cracking at the end. Her mind didn’t process that the pain she felt was echoed in his voice.

She sighed, stepping into the doorway, “I can’t do this, Nate. Because if we keep doing this, I’m going to fall in love with you. And I can’t do that while being your ‘good friend from work’. So, I’m going to bed. Good night.” She finally met his eye as she stepped back to shut the door, barely registering the way his face flickered from hurt to confusion to shock to hope.

Charlotte rested her forehead against the door and let out a shaky breath. She could feel the tears form and slide down her face. She tried to convince herself that it was the right move, but the only thing she could hear in her head was the sound of Nate’s mother’s voice saying ‘Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short.’ What if Kathy was right? What if protecting herself from pain was causing more pain itself? What if it would work out? As she stood there, she listened for movement on the other side of the door, but she heard none. Was that hope she saw in his face there? If it was, what did it mean?

Before she could finish the thought, she heard shuffles and a rapid knock on the door that startled her. She didn’t know why, but she opened it without hesitation.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I did something earlier that made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I'm crossing a boundary now but I would never forgive myself if I didn't say this," he said, looking at her with concern. When she nodded, he continued speaking.

He confessed to her that he had never been this person before, love-struck and irrational. He had always been calm, detached, and calculated, but with her, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help being rash, like inviting her to the wedding or reaching out to touch her and be close to her.

She had told him that she couldn't do this because she was scared of falling in love with him, but he revealed that he might already be in love with her. He had been saying that she was just a friend and a colleague because he was scared, but he had never felt this way before and was afraid he would mess it up.

During the wedding ceremony, he looked around at everyone and realized that he had won the Stanley Cup this year, but he still felt off. He kept thinking about her - how her laughter made him want to make her laugh again, how her smile warmed his chest, and how he could still feel the tingle where their skin had touched even after she left.

He admitted that he had never been sure if he had truly been in love before, and maybe this was it. He thought they owed it to themselves to find out because he believed she might feel the same way. He knew it might not be the most rational decision, but it was everything he had to say.

Feeling a shaky breath escape her lips, she heard the voice in her mind, "Don't stand in the way of your own happiness, dear. Life is too short." For the first time on this trip, she felt her mind still and smiled as she closed the distance between them. With her chest pressed to him, she looked up at him, admiring his soft and nervous blue eyes. She reached up to cup his neck and met him in a kiss.

The kiss was gentle and soft at first, as she chastely felt their bodies slot together; his hands finding her waist, and hers fisting his suit jacket to bring him closer. After not long, she felt Nate run his tongue along her lip and she allowed herself to deepen the kiss, conveying the emotion that was hard to put into words. The feeling of his firm hands against her waist and his muscular body against hers again made her feel as though she were on fire. And she had to admit, she liked this quite a lot. Eventually, they disconnected and rested their foreheads together as they took in the moment.

“So, are you going to say something?” Nate whispered.

 “Yeah, uh, ditto,” she whispered back, giggling slightly.

“That’s it?!” he leaned back in mock horror, “After I poured my heart out, that’s all you have to say?” She could see a smile tugging at his lips.

“Well, I think for the first time in your life, you have spoken enough words for both of us, Nathan,” she laughed as she gave his chin a little pinch, drawing a laugh from him as well. She leaned back in to place another firm kiss on his lips before saying, “I like you a lot too. Like a lot a lot. It scares me. But, as the kids say, you only live once, and I need to stop being scared and just see where this goes because I think I might be in love with you, Nathan, and I need to find out if I am.”

He smiled broadly; it’s the smile she loves, the one where his nose scrunches a little and she can see the genuine happiness on his face. And as their lips rejoined, she slowly started to pull him back into her hotel room.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he says, disconnecting their lips briefly.

“Uh, right now? Sure, I guess,” she raised her eyebrow.

“Why do you always call me Nathan? Everyone always calls me Nate.” The question catches her off-guard and she laughed as she continued dragging him into your room.

“I was trying to remind myself to stay professional and not fall for you,” she laughed as she felt the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed.

“Right…That worked so well, I’ll have to remember that one for the future, Miss Charlotte,” he laughed back before kissing her again so deeply and passionately that she forgot whatever retort was on the tip of her tongue.

[ships-n-bats]

Putting under read more 'cause it kind of turned out way longer than intended and has big images attached. ^^'

Warning: I literally am reviewing and judging sketches Kub0 drew of the Ichi//Hime fam post-manga and just being critical of I//H as a whole.

“Kub0 has yet to release any artwork of the Ichi//Hime family together!”

I just recently recalled this statement made years ago by anti I//Hs and became rather curious over whether or not this statement was still true or not. It’s been about 8+ years since the manga ended and I//H became canon with their mini-me child being revealed alongside. So, out of genuine curiosity, I decided to see if Kub0 had since drawn the I//H family in any capacity.

Only to discover that, nope, he indeed had not.

The closest I could find of any drawings made by Kub0 that involved Ichig0's family post-manga were these two sketches he made:

A sketch of Ichig0 and Kαzui with Kub0's signature.

And the pic he drew of Ichig0 with Kαzui during quarantine (which I will admit is super adorable omg).

Two pictures featuring a father and his son.

But! You'll notice with both of these sketches, 0rihime is missing. You know, the wife of Ichig0 and mother to said child?? She's not so much as shown in the background or right there alongside her husband and kid! She's just, not present what-so-ever...

And the saddest part? When I tried searching for any sketches Kub0 made of Kαzui with 0rihime, nothing came up. Not a single sketch featuring mother and son. I only found those two pics of Kαzui with his father. That's it.

And there wasn't a single sketch that had all three of them together.

The closest I could find was of an edited version of the quarantine pic an I//H fan drew where they added 0rihime in. That's right, an I//H fan had to add 0rihime into the sketch in order to get a proper Ichi//Hime family pic, because Mr. Tite Kub0 couldn't be bothered to do so himself in the first place. I also found other edited pics that just took separate pics of the three and mashed them together, which is just... sad.

I think the closest there's been to the three being seen together as a family was in the manga and even that is a bit of a stretch.

This then led me to see if Kub0 had since drawn Ichig0 and 0rihime together and came up with two more sketches:

A sketch of the two standing next to each other, looking at one another.

Another sketch of the two's portraits.

And just like with the previous two pics, I noticed something about both pics. In the first one, 0rihime and Ichig0 are keeping a distance between themselves, and the sketch overall is rather simplistic and not really readable. I can barely make out either of their expressions, though 0rihime looks shocked? Confused?? idk Meanwhile, Ichig0 looks either blank or irritated? He might be talking to her??

As for the second sketch, Ichig0 looks like he had more time and effort put into his portrait, while 0rihime looks thrown in last second. Given how much bigger Ichig0 is, it gives off the impression that Kub0 drew a pic of Ichig0 first, and then added 0rihime off to the side, in the background, which explains why she's so small and seems tacked on. You can essentially remove her from the sketch entirely as she doesn't look part of it as a whole.

Also, this same sketch had an I//H shipper tack on Kαzui to try and make it a family pic, just like with the other one.

Despite Kub0 canonizing Ichig0 and 0rihime as a married couple with a kid, despite it being nearly a decade now, despite I//H shippers asking Kub0 to give more details about how the two got together and what their relationship is like as a family and couple, he still hasn't bothered to actually give the Ichi//Hime fam any proper spotlight.

I hate bringing up other mangas for comparison, but even Nαruto, despite its own controversial ending and endgame ships, showcased some sweet family moments with their next gen families and even had cute couple-y moments between the endgame pairs. Kishim0t0 at least bothered to put some effort into trying to sell his endgame ships to fans. Meanwhile, Kub0 has left I//H high and dry of any basic domestic fluff.

And honestly?

I just find that to be plain sad. Sad that even though a pairing is made canon, is made to be married with a child, there's still this lack of intimacy between the two. Yes, many I//H antis have pointed out how much Ichig0 and 0rihime lacked development and intimacy prior to the ending, but it's post-ending where I feel the failure of I//H really comes to ahead.

I//H stans tend to use Ichig0 and 0rihime's marriage and product of their consummation as a crutch or a "got'cha" to prove them being canon somehow means they're a perfect pairing. But it really doesn't mean anything if there's no real intimacy outside of a legal piece of paper and offspring. Those two things don't prove anything and shouldn't be used as evidence for a happy, healthy relationship.

Because, despite what is believed by many, a marriage and kids does not automatically translate to a good relationship. People can be married with kids and still be unhappy or lack real closeness or intimacy in their relationship. Just like how the alternative (i.e. not married and no kids), can mean a happy and close relationship. Basically, a marriage and children are not required nor are proof of a happy, healthy relationship.

Kub0 himself has already proven to me that he doesn't even care about Ichi//Hime as a pairing, despite the marriage and kid. He hasn't shown that Ichig0 and 0rihime are close and seems to actively avoid drawing the family together, leading the fans to do so for him out of desperation. He was more than happy to show 0rihime's one-sided devotion towards Ichig0 throughout the manga, but never bothered to show Ichig0 ever returning those feelings, and then just ended with the two married with a son. Only later offhandedly mentioning that the two got together sometime after university when a fan asked him about it. And Ichig0 had to be prompted by his friends to make a move on her, not because he did so on his own accord.

Ichi//Hime may be endgame canon, but it's still hollow and empty.

Update 7/9/24

I had actually forgotten about another pic Kub0 did and was only recently reminded of it by a twt user.

The pic features Ichig0, Rukiα, Ichikα, and Kαzui altogether.

And I have to agree with the twt user’s assessment on it, it does look like an accidental family pic. I can totally see some people who aren’t familiar with Bleαch taking this out of context and mistaking Rukiα and Ichig0 as the parents. It’s a very cute and silly sketch too, with Rukiα and Kαzui messing around with Ichig0 and Ichikα dealing with their antics. An overall happy, wholesome pic.

Which makes the fact that Kub0 drew Rukiα alongside Kαzui and not his own mother, 0rihime, all the more noticeable and depressing. It really does feel like Kub0 is actively avoiding making any happy I//H fam material. He always falls back on drawing Ichig0 and Rukiα together (which he has admitted to enjoy doing).

[delcakoo]

Getting giggly thinking about Prince Yeonjun meeting his princess for the first time? Also why were up at 1 am 🤨🤨🤨

PRINCE YEONJUN I LITERALLY YELPED RAVEN ILY FOR THIS. oh. and uh… i was uh.. doing important things!! 😇 anywaYs enjoy jshsjs

9:02AM — “yeonjun, tuck your shirt in for the last time,” a strict, female voice barks in the distance.

you awkwardly balance your weight from one heel to another as your soon-to-be husband paces over to you, rolling his foxy eyes whilst his mother sends him strict side glares.

the prince looks as if he’d rather be anywhere else in the world; gloved hands digging into his pockets unceremoniously and plush lips formed in a subtle frown.

nonetheless, your own mother’s face brightens with each and every step they take. “smile, honey,” she reminds passive aggressively.

“why, you both look simply ethereal!” yeonjun’s mother compliments once they come to a stop, bowing with gracefulness that her son begrudgingly copies.

while the queen’s blabber on and feed each other sweet talk, yeonjun finally returns your gaze. he scans you up and down, seemingly unimpressed by his default expression. your brows furrow, feeling offended by the male’s lack of respect and decency.

was this rude, stuck up jerk really the man you’d be married off to?

“well, how about we let them introduce themselves on their own while i fetch you a cup of tea?” your mother offers, extending a gloved hand out to miss choi.

“that sounds delightful.” with one last squeeze to her son’s shoulder, the queen leans in, whispering something unreadable against his ear before prancing off elegantly.

now, only you and yeonjun remain outside the palace. he makes no move to do anything, so you reluctantly take charge despite only wanting to scold him for his awful, un-princely attitude. “i’ll show you around.” you don’t give him time to refuse, making your way inside with confident steps.

luckily, the prince doesn’t put up much of a fight; black dress shoes clicking and alerting you of his looming presence close behind.

you pause in the first hallway with a nervous gulp. “so.. this is where we—“

“what do you want?” the black haired boy rudely interrupts.

you frown, “pardon?”

he rolls his eyes yet again, and you resist the urge to comment on how it’ll get stuck there if he didn’t stop. “fortune? pleasure? fame?” he lists off as if he’d said it a billion times before, eyes drifting off to a nearby painting hanging delicately. “which one?”

squinting, you try to study his features and read his emotions, but as usual they offer you nothing. “uh, none?” you reply honestly, and at last, yeonjun turns to face you in peaked curiosity. “i just want to make my parents happy.”

yeonjun hates the fact that he falls for your confident tone and body language. “well, me too,” he mumbles so softly that you nearly miss it.

“then.. why is it that you’ve broken up with all.. what even is it now— ten of your past wives?” you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting it out, even if it was definitely a question for another day.

however, the choi family’s son seems to care even less. “they were all just using me for different reasons,” he replies instantly. “not a single one actually gave a shit about me as a person, so why should i allow them to sleep next to me in my bed?”

you blink at his honesty, nodding in understanding, “that makes sense.”

yeonjun snaps his head over to you, face still blank, but eyed widened a fraction. “it- it does?”

“uh.. yeah?”

he gulps, unsure of what to say. “sorry, it’s just.. i’m usually told that i’m wrong and i should just learn to accept it.”

feeling proud that he’s opening up to you, you quickly reply with something a princess should definitely not say. “well they’re all dickheads, aren’t they?” yeonjun nearly chokes, coughing in surprise before a laugh tumbles out of his lips. his brown, fox eyes crinkle softly, and you can’t help but think he looks shockingly cute like this. “what?” you ask through your own giggles.

“i’ve never heard a princess say such a word,” he cackles.

“well, i suppose you’ll have to give me a chance if you’d like to hear more.” you wiggle your brows playfully, a mischievous smirk still on your lips.

then, the prince does something he’s never done to a girl before (at least, out of his own free will). with a few steps towards you, yeonjun wraps his arm around your waist, leading you off to where your mother’s wait in the dining hall. maybe he’s gullible, maybe this was all a set up and you were simply a wonderful actor.

but at least for now, yeonjun felt genuine hope. “i think i will, princess.”

this was prob not what u expected sorry for the slight angst 🫶 also ten wives was supposed to be an exaggeration if u couldn’t tell 😭😭

[thisismeracing]

Die from a broken heart | MS47 (patreon preview)

coming to Tumblr on Wednesday, the 13th!

▸Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!reader ▸Warnings: mentions of food and secret relationship; angst with a happy ending.

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PREVIEW:

“He’s just a friend!” Yn finally snaps, voice getting louder and thicker in frustration. 

Mick, who’s at the other side of the room, arms crossed, and face twisted in a frown, scoffs at her words just like he’s been doing the past few minutes they have been fighting.

“Yeah, but at this point, so am I to everyone who knows us,” his remark makes her heart clench. 

She loved him, she was sure of that even though they had been together for less than a couple of months. They had known each other for over a year. They were friends before becoming lovers. So his harsh words and his lack of demonstrating hurt hit her differently. 

Fighting with someone who won’t match your screams can be slightly worse than fighting with someone who will. Mick had his voice even the whole time, lips pursed, eyes hard. His cheeks flushed from the alcohol, and his stance wide, but other than that, he did not cave, did not scream, or point a finger at her. 

“And what do you want me to do Mick? You wanted me to make out with you in front of everyone so they could record and we could wake up being the news headlines tomorrow morning? You more than anyone know how the media can be pushy, how they can break beautiful things.” 

“Guess sometimes you don’t need them to break it, those beautiful things will break themselves,” he retorted, walking past her and to the door. 

“Where are you going?” Yn asked, tears gathering in her eyes. 

“I don’t know, it doesn’t matter to you.” 

And just like that, he gave his back to her.

Her sweet, loving, patient boyfriend turned around and stormed off the room as if he was done. As if their relationship was done for.

*****************

“Did you get into the sim earlier than scheduled?” Toto asked when Mick entered the garage, big bags under his eyes and no sign of his trademark sweet smile. 

The Schumacher shook his head, “Nah, just couldn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Did something happen?” 

“Love happened,” he mumbles, walking to one of the rooms to drop his things there, not before grumbling on the way about how hard relationships were.

Susie who was beside Toto shared a knowing look. The arched brows and darting eyes silently get to the same conclusion. 

“Do you really think…?” Toto finally voices and his wife shrugs, biting her lips.

“Maybe. They’re good friends…maybe they’ve been more and we failed to see it.” 

Toto sighs, moving the headphones that are on the desk.

“Please, don’t smash it,” she jokes, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“She’s our baby.”

“She’s twenty-three, Liebe.” 

“Ja, but still…” 

“If you asked me to choose someone in the Paddock, it would be Mick. You’ve been working with him for a while now, we both know he’s a good guy.”

“That’s the problem!” He points and Susie arches her brows in confusion, “I’m supposed to hate my baby’s boyfriend, or give him a hard time, but I actually like that blond Ken doll, ugh.” 

Susie burst into laughter, and Toto can’t help but let the smallest grin grace his features.

“She’s everything,” 

“He’s not just Ken, and you know it, Torger.”

“Well, to me he’s just Ken. She’s my everything, and he’s just Ken.”

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this lil preview! This piece will come out free here tomorrow night! Make sure to let me know your thoughts and suggestions. <3 I wanted to add a huge shout-out to C (my Coffee emoji anon here) for proofreading this (Ily, C!).

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