#the fact that aki thinks his brother's death was his fault still makes me wanna bawl my eyes out to this day

[meownotgood]

aki trying to open up and tell reader about his traumatic past but he’s crying so hard and hiccuping and sniffling. we keep telling him that it’s okay and he doesn’t have to continue but being the stubborn thing he is, he wants to finish telling you. by the end he’s sobbing and shaking and his face is flushed with swollen eyes. poor baby just needs a break

why would you do this anon.... why would you say this...... I'm so hurt.... aki crying hurts me so much

aki starting to cry when he begins to explain his past to you, tears streaming down his face, his eyes already so puffy and swollen. you wipe the droplets from his cheeks as he recollects the memory, recounting it as best he can remember. you try to tell him it's okay, he doesn't have to continue, but he wants you to know, so he wills himself to keep going.

soon, he can hardly speak, he's just sputtering through sobs. he looks down at his feet, unable to meet your eyes, his vision blurring. his hands are shaking, and they desperately grab at your own, as if he's searching for something, anything to hold onto. the pain in his heart hits him all at once, until he's folding in on himself, burying his face in your chest, and gripping you tightly with trembling arms.

his voice is so weak you can hardly hear it, each word threatening to break as he explains how he watched his whole family die, how he sat there and just watched. "it's all my fault, it's my fault my brother died," — that's the last thing you hear him say before he can't manage another word. all he can say is: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, even though you don't even know what he's apologizing for. he grips you tighter, closer, and sobs even harder, and all you can do is hold him in your arms.