#the fact that Cyclops was just like 'yeah that checks out'

[sbd-laytall]

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 he's not just a man, mom.. ´ˎ˗

Luke Castellan x Fem!Athena!Reader Synopsis: Reader sneaks on a cruise ship with Percy, Annabeth and Tyson. Guess who she has a run in with !!!! Warning(s): slight angst. and uh swears ig Word Count: 1833 A/N: part 2 was requested😘 and I skimmed over a lot, I didn't want to copy and paste most of Sea of Monsters so yk Part 1

Months, well actually, an entire school year has past since your boyfriend, well ex boyfriend now, Luke turned to Kronos. And yes, the rumors are true! Time heals all wounds!! Sure you needed some more time but you were starting to get back to your normal self slowly but surely. And the Athena head counselor position was rightfully handed right back to you (until Annabeth comes back for the summer).

Normally time isn't real for a year rounder like yourself, but there's been an issue. The magic barrier that protects camp Half-Blood is held up by Thalias tree, except her tree has been poisoned. No one knows when or how it happened, but you decided to keep your guess to yourself. Well that doesn't matter now. With Thalias tree slowly getting worse and worse, the border surrounding camp is weakening, allowing monsters to start slipping through and find the camp. Defenses are thinning, and even with summer around the corner enrollment numbers are at their lowest.

Thankfully you weren't on Charisse's bad side so she didn't mind joining forces. And don't get it twisted, you love Annabeth, but you've never loved her more than when you watched her and Percy (and a cyclops??) run up the hill and help fight the monsters.

After the fighting was over, you weren't injured yourself so you went to help out at the infirmary. It helped keep your mind off stuff, and now you had Percy and Annabeth to keep you company. You were currently checking them for burns.

"Wow, 13 and no body hair?"

"THE MONSTER BURNED IT OFF."

You and Annabeth just laughed at the boy. After you both calmed down you started to explain whats been happening the last couple of months at camp while they've been away. Grim expressions washed over them as you finished, Chiron being fired and being replaced with TANTALUS was truly the cherry on top in your opinion.

"Well, time to eat right?"

This might've been one of the most interesting dinners yet. The cyclopes, also known as Tyson, ended up getting claimed by Poseidon (Percy wasn't the biggest fan of this particular development), and we have an upcoming Chariot race coming up (something Tantalus decided to start doing). You weren't planning on participating in the race, but Annabeth and Percy got into a fight so now you had too.

Finally the day came and instead of a friendly race, everyone was attacked by killer birds that were just barely shot out the sky. Maybe some help on Clarrise's end would've been nice, but she thought winning was more important, while you, Tyson, Percy and Annabeth just got punished.

The four of you were stuck washing dishes when the two younger campers got to talking. They were smart ones, basically we needed the Golden Fleece, simple as that. Except who did Tantalus give the quest too? The winner of the race. Clarisse.

"But Grovers my friend!"

"Yeah you guys wouldn't even have the quest if it weren't for us!"

Your yelling didn't help matters, the Ares kids just accused Percy of wanting the spotlight. They just never liked Percy after he beat up their dad, the fact he did that still amazes you. You and Annabeth just accepted the defeated and walked yourselves to your cabin.

"So Annabeth, how's it been in the outside world?"

"Cooler than I thought but please, how's it been with.. you know what?" You averted your gaze slightly and swallowed. You were getting better, but that certainly didn't mean you were over him.

"I haven't heard from mom in like eight months." Annabeth looked at you confused. You never told her about the last conversation with Athena.

"What? I thought you were like, her favorite or something?"

"To be fair I basically told her to fuck off," you shrugged like it wasn't that serious but your sister looked at you like you were crazy. "It was about Luke, you know she never liked him." She just nodded as you both walked back to your cabin. When you got there neither of you couldn sleep and decided to stay up late studying maps of the sea of monsters, where Grover and the Golden Fleece were. Suddenly Annabeth stood up.

"Annie whats wrong?" You asked, looking between her and the maps.

"You didn't hear that?" you just shook your head slowly.

"Maybe it's just time to sleep-"

"No it was Percy, he was screaming for help cmon!" You decided not to bother questioning it and started chasing after her. Annabeth was following the sound and you just followed her. You guys made it out to the beach, where you saw Percy, just fine and not screaming. Tyson came running out too.

"Percy are you okay? Why were you screaming?" Annabeth questioned.

"I wasn't screaming, but I'm glad you guys are here." Percy explained how he had a run in with Hermes. The thought of Hermes just makes you think of Luke. That kinda sucks.

"Anyways, we need to use this," Percy held up a jar and pointed to the cruise behind him, "to get over there."

"Seems... reasonable. We have to hurry the harpies are getting close." you urged.

"Yeah ask your dad for some help" Annabeth pushed Percy toward the ocean. Why did Percy start with small talk, we're on a time crunch. Never the less a bunch of hippocampi came forward and we were off.

"I've never been on a cruise before, I wonder what it's like." You said.

"Probably won't be like any normal one if Hermes sent us." Percy pointed out. If Hermes sent us you, you hoped it meant what you thought it did. And you hated that you were hoping for that. Luke. Ever since your last conversation with your mom, it's like you've been seeing things differently. The gods really did just use their kids, but could you really turn your back on them?

You were cut out of your thoughts when you finally made it to the ship. You all snuck on and wandered through the cruise. Everyone here was like a bunch of lifeless zombies. Now if that didn't raise your suspicious nothing would. You guys were sneaking around until you found an empty suite on the 9th floor. Sleep was a must right now.

"Us girls will be next door alright?" You said.

"Yeah, don't eat or drink anything either," Annabeth added. She was right, something was off here. You and Annabeth left to your side of the suite to change for bed. Annabeth was knocked out in seconds but you just couldn't sleep. You knew why Hermes wanted you guys here, and it kept you up. While your sister was snoring beside you, you took the chance the sneak out the room. All you had was an oversized t-shirt that hung to your mid thigh and a dream.

As you started walking around, there were no lights to be seen. You started from your floor and made your way up. When you got off the elevator on the 13th floor, you saw the room at the end of the hall had a light on. It was nearing 2AM, most people should be asleep. That's when your gut told you this is what you were looking for. You thought it was time to listen to it. You made your way to the door, and saw that it was unlocked. You slowly opened the door and saw a certain someone with his back facing the door, looking off into the ocean through his window.

"Hey Luke," you said. Luke didn't move for a second, but when he turned it was slow.

"Y/N.. I didn't think I'd see you again." Your lip quirked ever so slightly, and you walked up and sat down on the bed in front of you, now just a mere few feet away from him

"Likewise."

"Lemme guess, Percy and Annabeth are with you? Were you sent to kill me?"

"Yes, and no. We weren't sent here, or anywhere in fact."

"Wow, look at her. Ms. Rule Breaker. What would your mother think?" You swallowed at the mention of your mother. What would she think?

"Well, we haven't spoken in eight months." You looked at the ground.

"Hmm, what happened?"

"You happened, that's what." You looked back up at him, he had a shit eating grin on his face. "Wipe that smile off your face Castellan."

"Or what? You're already here, why waste our time together fighting? We both know you're not here for the gods," Luke teased. He was right, so why fight?

"Just come here," you lunged up and jumped in his arms, kissing him like the starved woman you were. You missed him more than you were allowed to admit. Luke was a sore spot at camp, but hey, right now that was not your problem. You knew you were probably disgracing your family by being here doing what you were doing, or WHO you were doing, but you didn't care. You just needed Luke, even if it was just one last time.

When you woke up after a few hours, you wouldn't say you regret it, but maybe it wasn't the best timing. You were facing the window while Luke held you close. You slowly moved his arm from your waist and sat up, seeing the little clothing you had scattered across the room. Crazy night. You untangled yourself from Luke and got redressed. You truly didn't want to leave, but despite everything you couldn't stand with Luke and the war, too many lives would be lost on his behalf. As you made your way to the door Luke woke up,

"So this is it?" You had your hand on the doorknob and turned back to face Luke.

"Yeah," you made eye contact with him, a single tear falling. "It is."

"Goodbye Y/N."

"Goodbye Luke." You made your way out the door and shut it behind you. You took a deep breathe before rushing back to your shared room with Annabeth on the 9th floor. You opened the door, making sure not to make too much noise, except Annabeth wasn't in her bed. You continued walking into the room when the bathroom door opened from behind you.

"And where were you?" Annabeth questioned as she walked out the door.

"With no one!" You said quickly. Annabeth scared the shit out of you. She slightly frowned.

"He's here isn't he? That's why Hermes wanted us to come here?" You just nodded. "Guess it explains the hickies," Annabeth yawned and headed back to her bed. Your face flushed as you ran into the bathroom. Wow.. awkward!!!!

"It was just a goodbye, I'm not joining him," you walked out the bathroom and laid down next to Annabeth. "I can't stand for a war, no matter how much I love him. Or loved."

"Glad you made up your mind, but it's 6AM, can we sleep a little longer?"

You chuckled, "Of course."

[aquaquadrant]

The Time King

Word count: 1,937 Warning: Implied death A/N: Finally got around to uploading my piece for the @bdubszine (which y'all should def check out if u haven't already). This was a different approach for me and a lot of fun, loved the chance to write abt Bdubs's season 8 finale. Hope y'all enjoy, please reblog/comment if u do <3 - Aqua

The Time King

~*~

It’s the end of the world, and Bdubs is doing fine.

Why wouldn’t he? He’s the fuzzy, cozy, mossy Time King! Uh- King of the Server, in fact. If he may be so bold. Everyone else is- they had a meeting, and everyone else is leaving. Everyone’s leaving, he’s the only one left- last man standing! Oh, or uh- floating? He float- he’s flyin’ all over the place, now, uh- it’s fine! This is fine, he likes it.

(The Time King is a liar.)

Oh, so the moon is big. Hah, yeah, that- it’s been happening for a while now, Bdubs supposes. But he didn’t see it ‘til just- just recently ‘cause, um- of course, whenever night comes, he- he’s the Time King! And the Time King… changes the day- uh, changes night to day. Right. Right, right, right, right, right, of course. He’s gotta sleep, okay, so he hasn’t seen the moon for- for forever, and it’s big now.

And it’s comin’.

Blocks are flyin’ up everywhere, all over the place, and uh… they aren’t comin’ back. Some of these builds, oh boy, okay, they look rough. They’re getting pretty shambled. And then there’s the- the ground shaking, every so often. Shaking real bad. And then- yes, of course, the flying! Bdubs floats now, he flies- it doesn’t last long. He’s gotten used to it.

But everyone else got… uh, they got real nervous, it seems. Nobody else is on the world, currently, and- and nobody’s been on since their meeting, so. Yeah.

(The Time King is alone.)

So everything in the world can belong to Bdubs. Ah hah! That’s- he’s pretty sure that’s how it works. He thinks- the rest of the Big Eye Crew, Tango, Keralis- they gone. Oh, yeah. They- Tango went on a little uh… space mission, to the moon, okay, so- so Bdubs doesn’t think he’ll be back on this world again. He did… uh, send Tango a little message… you know, just to let him know that… well, things are floatin’ and flyin’ all over the place, it’s a mess here, everything is in shambles. So Tango really… really shouldn’t come back.

Oh! And Keralis, that sweetie, he’s got a- a- big ol’, uh… space… station? Space ship? So that’s- yeah, that’s how he’s leaving. Oh, but his house is so- oh, what a beauty! What gorgeous- it’s a shame, really, but- but hey, good for Bdubs! Right? Oh, that’s amazing. Keralis’s house and private island, Tango’s cyclops under the mountain, the Big Eye shopping district- sure enough, Bdubs can claim it all!

Isn’t this beautiful? This is- he feels like he could stay here forever. You know, for as much forever as he’s got left.

(The Time King is running out of time.)

See, Ol’ Bdubs- he ain’t no fool! He knows. He knows that, uh, there’s a good reason everybody’s leaving. It’s… this isn’t the kinda problem that can be fixed, you know? Of course, they’d respawn. Players respawn, when they get killed. But the moon is comin’ and he thinks there won’t be much of anything left, after. And who- who’d want to stick around for that, right? Right, okay… uh, well him, he supposes. But someone has to leave last, right?

That’s- that’s the thing about uh, you know, the end of a world. Someone is always the last one to leave.

Bdubs has played on a lotta different worlds, over the years. And someone will always be the- the last person to ever, uh, exist in a world... as everyone gradually fades out and uh, you know, ventures forth into new adventures… and stuff. That’s what usually happens, okay. So when a world ends, someone is always the last person to see it- to actually load the chunks.

And then they leave, and the world is held in a sort of uh, a sort of stat- uh, status? In stasis. So it’s still there- all their old worlds- waiting for them, if they ever wanna visit. Like, if they want to look at old builds, or look at old redstone. Or you know, just take a stroll down memory lane. So, the Hermits- they’ve had plenty of worlds end, but they’re never really gone.

This time is different. This time, there’ll be nothing to come back to.

So uh… it’s only right, Bdubs thinks, that someone be here to witness it.

And you know, there’s… part of Bdubs doesn’t like the thought of leaving his pets here alone. There’s Squawkers, of course, and Lulu, his faithful companion. Pets get left behind all the time on old worlds, it’s- it’s just how things are. They can’t travel between worlds. But Bdubs is always comforted by the thought that no matter what… they’re still there, waiting for him.

And he knows they aren’t real, okay, not in the way players are. They’re just- uh, little bundles of code and data that exist only on this world. They don’t have a- a unique, sort of… con- conscience? Or- no, um… consciousness. Something that can, uh… persist… beyond this world. That’s just how the universe designed ‘em.

Oh, there’ll be other horses, of course, in other worlds. Maybe uh… maybe even ones made of the same data and codes as Lulu. Like… the same- same color, the same stats. Like a- ‘oh, look here, this is a standard white horse with eleven hearts, eleven-point-nine block speed, two-and-a-half snow jumpin’ horse!’ Physically identical in every way, sure enough, but- you know, it- it won’t be Lulu.

Animals don’t respawn. Of course. So- so when the moon comes down, and uh… you know, blows everything to kingdom come… they aren’t gonna… um. It’ll- you know. So he just- he doesn’t want them to be alone, for that. Yes, yes, okay, Bdubs is a big ol’ softie, sure…

(The Time King is… sentimental.)

He’s not sure what’ll happen to him, exactly, after respawning. He’s never- can he even respawn in a world that gets destroyed? Or- or will it be like, um… the ultra- ultra hardcore? Worlds? Hardcore worlds where after you die, you just… can’t go back. It doesn’t exist anymore. Deleted. Gone. Bye-bye. Go back to another world. Yeah, maybe it’ll be like that.

But, you know, until that happens, Bdubs is making the most of it. Having a nice tour around the world, the beautiful world- seein’ what everyone built. Oh, it’s amazing- it all belongs to him, now! And that’s- there’s something really nice, about that.

‘Cause there’s all of Boatem, of course- Grian’s magical alley, Scar- sweet Scar- his uh, Swaggon… place? The Swaggons. There’s Impulse’s candy factory, Pearl’s mountain range, Mumbo’s sort of… mountaintop village… shrine? Yes, lovely. Oh, it’s all lovely. So the Boatem people left, down through the uh, the Boatem Hole, of course- those sillies. So it all belongs to Bdubs, now! Amazing.

Then there’s Octagon, too- and oh goodness, how amazing is Octagon! Doc and Ren, those two guys really… uh, really outdid themselves. Giant praying mantis… that’s- oh, that looks like some pretty impressive redstone, there- uh, for Doc, that is! For Bdubs, it’s- he can understand that, all too easy. Of course. Maybe he’ll improve on it, later. Yeah.

Oh goodness, there’s so much here… Bdubs could go on and on, really. Etho and Iskall’s savannah, Cleo and Joe’s big ol’ castle, Jevin’s slime pit and custom swamp, Cub’s humongous dripstone canyon, Beef’s spaceship, Xb’s bunker, Zedaph’s lab, Xisuma’s village, Hypno’s mushroom, Wels’s house, TFC’s mine, and the forest shared by False, Stress, and Gem. Oh, yes! Oh, baby, it’s all property of Bdubs, now! What- what a paradise this is! Even… even if not everything got finished. That’s okay. Uh- he can work on it, later. Maybe.

And of course, Bdubs checks on all the profits from the Big Eye shopping district. And sure enough, they’ve got sales! They’ve got- he’s practically rolling in diamonds, now! Richest Hermit on the server, by far! Isn’t that fitting, for the Time King? Oh, their beautiful shopping district- there’s still some wool scaffolding, though, around the place. Some outlines of buildings he never got to build. That’s okay, he- oh, didn’t get to build yet, he’ll say instead. Yeah, he likes that better.

(The Time King is great at pretending.)

And finally, there’s… oh, right. Hollow Hills. The horse course he was building with Etho. Right. He forgot about that. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. It’s finished, it is, just- they had some ideas about cool things to add, power-ups and stuff, but the course is rideable! It’s- look, he can take Lulu for a race right now- perfect riding, of course, world record- and it’s all complete and- and functional! And he said- he and Etho, they always- every time they start a project together, they just go too big, okay, and never finish. But not this time! It’s finished! They did... it’s just, they never got around to holding a proper race on it, is all.

Um… 

That’s the other thing, about the end of a world. Usually, they have more time. 

They get to choose when they’re done, you know? And that’s- that’s not to say that they always finish every project, okay, but usually they’ve done everything they wanted to. Projects are left unfinished ‘cause of a lack of inspiration, not a- not a time limit. They usually have time to do whatever they need to before the end. But uh, right now.. all Bdubs can think about is everything he still had left to do, all the life he still wanted to live on this world.

So he’s not really sure if he’s still here because he’s brave enough to stay, or just too scared to say goodbye.

(Oh, Time King, did you get everything you needed?)

It’s the end of the world, and Bdubs is afraid.

He’s finished his tour, finished seeing all the amazing builds that he laid claim to, for- hah, for all of one day. He’s collected his profits, collected all the wonderful diamonds that he earned for his hard work makin’ and stockin’ the shops- even though it’s uh, it’s too late to spend ‘em anywhere. He’s completed his race, completed a perfect run on the racetrack, first try, of course, and- and he can claim the world record because the world’s ending, anyway, so no one could beat it even if they tried. No one will ever get the chance.

So as the moon bears down on the world, Bdubs stands outside his starter base- and that’s uh, that’s kinda funny to think about, you know? Calling it a starter base when he never really moved on from it. It’s just his base, his one and only base, and sure enough, it’s a moon, of all things. He’s got Squawkers on his shoulder, lil’ claws or uh, talons, gripping through the mossy cloak, still squawkin’ an imitation of a zombie they passed earlier. And he’s got Lulu at his side, lead rope in one hand as he pets her velvety soft nose with the other, tryin’ to keep her calm because he thinks… uh, he thinks she can tell.

And as the moon- oh, it’s beautiful. As the moon- the humongous moon, swallow the whole sky moon- bears down on the world, ringed with flames and blazing a- a yellow so bright it’s painful to look at, Bdubs can’t help but think that it uh, it looks an awful lot, actually, like the sun.

Isn’t that fitting?

(The Time King changes night to day, one last time.)

~*~

[lunarspiral1127]

Alright, now let's actually talk about X-Men 97 episode 9 *SPOILERS ALSO SOME RANTING INCOMING*

The results of Magneto's worldwide blackout

Uh, I think Magneto's omega level moment to stop the Prime Sentinels and the Spider-Man cameo got me distracted on what his EMP also did to the world, which is not good.

Yeah, so thousands have died because of this, mutants are being hunted down more than ever, and the world's gonna end in less than 12 hours. So....Magneto made things worse for everybody, mutants and humans.....god dammit.

So, because of this Magneto is also something to deal with as well as Bastion (even though this was all Bastion's fault and the mastermind behind everything, including the massacre, but okay 😒). This means he's back to being an enemy, which I don't like. He was doing good as a protagonist, and just for him to revert back to being an antagonist again?! I mean, I get why, I just don't like it. Even when, again, BASTION IS RIGHT THERE!!! *sigh* I guess with the time limit, they gotta deal with both of them and fix Earth.

Asteroid M again? Didn't Magneto try this before back in the previous show, and it backfired? In fact, he only recruited two others, which I'll get to later. Why isn't he saving more of his kind and bring them to Asteroid M? Maybe he just started and went to the X-Men first before going to find and rescue other mutants Yeah, as you can tell, I'm liking where this is going for Magneto.

Storm and Forge

THANK GOD SHE'S BACK! AND SHE'S BACK IN THE INTRO WITH HER BLACK OUTFIT TOO, I MISSED HER SO MUCH! 😭

Jubilee and Jean hugging her at different times was so nice. And, Beast and Forge greeting each other was nice too. Gotta cling to the good moments cause things get bad....REAL BAD.

More of Storm and Jean's sisterhood which was sweet. But, did they let her know about Nate being Cable and that it was Madelyn, a clone, that she interacted with during that timeskip before she left? Cause I feel like Storm needs to know about that.

As bummed out as I was that the two wouldn't confront either Sinister or Bastion, I do understand why. Storm's powers are great for taking out multiple targets, and we do need more moments with the two.

I don't believe their dead. It'll be total bullcrap for the two to reunite with the others as well as them caring for each other, just for them to die like that. So, yeah, they'll be fine.....they freaking better.

Still wish Forge contacted the rest of X-Factor to have a big team up and get some extra help.

More classic outfits

I do like some of them, like Storm's, Rogue's, Cyclop's (although, I'll miss seeing his hair), and Wolverine's brown and yellow.

However, I'm not a fan of Jean's Marvel Girl outfit. I like her 90s outfit that she had before better.

Also, Morph's outfit is just the yellow and blue but with big shoulder pads....why?

So, Roberto's a member of the X-Men now? So, he got an outfit too, but I wish we could've seen the buildup for him being a member. Last time I checked, he wasn't interested in being a member, but still hung out with Jubilee and became his boyfriend. The outfit's not bad, but it doesn't feel like it's been earned.

Xavier

*sigh* I'm probably the only one here that feels bad for the professor. But, I also feel like it could've been handled better. Have Xavier actually stay in contact with them while away. Have him still be recovering but still too sick to go back home. Hell, have him be in a coma! Many things in this show could've been done to give Xavier more of a reason why he wasn't there during that year time-skip instead of the black hole excuse.

Now, things are tense between him and Scott because he picked Magneto to lead the team. Okay, Magneto was doing fine, he was just more strict is all. Plus, I thought we were done with the distrust of Magneto after episode two.

Even Rogue is mad at him, which I get why. And, Magneto won't listen to him, which again, I also get why. I just where all this conflict is gonna lead to in the finale.

Rogue and Sunspot

So, those two chose Magneto, and not gonna lie, I got upset with that. When she was talking about leading the mutants at Genosha, I thought she rejected the offer back in episode 5, so I didn't understand what she meant by that. I get that she doesn't want to see more mutants die, but they're dying anyway and more are gonna die. I get that she's pissed at what happened, and she still has that anger and grief over what happened to Gambit, but when all this is done, where is she gonna go? Back to the X-Men? That is if there's still a team left.

Roberto.....okay, I get why he sided with Magneto, and I'm trying to like this version of Sunspot. But, I'm sorry, but I couldn't. Not after hurting Jubilee like that. Her being there for him wasn't enough after everything that happened wasn't enough. Plus, he has no idea what he's getting himself into. He's new to all this, he has no idea what Magneto has done or what he's capable of. So I was okay with Jubilee fighting back.

Rogue's choice made Nightcrawler sad....I hate seeing that precious blue elf devil man being sad. Thank god, we didn't have those two fight, otherwise, I'd be more upset. But, it was sad seeing her fight Wolverine cause the two are friends.

Also, she was wearing Gambit's coat....why does this show keep hurting so much?

Gold Team vs. Bastion and Sinister

So, Bastion really did love his mother. At least they kept that part of his backstory in this. I don't think she's dead, cause the Prime Sentinels should be alive, just not working. But, what happened to his father? Did his dad die? I've been noticing a lack of dads in the show aside from Scott.

Hulk cameo.

The fight scenes were really good. Especially Sinister vs. Jean. She was so bad@$$ in that fight. Although, I thought Morph was gonna confront Sinister too due to what he did to Morph. But, this is the Summers' family moment.

When did Sinister get control over Cable?! Well, apparently he did, and now he's forced to fight his kinda sorta other mom? At least we got to see his mutant power again.

Is Jean gonna die? Again? Cause, she and Scott are back in good terms in their relationship.

Well, the plan kinda backfired, but there's still a chance to turn it around in the finale.

Blue Team vs. Magneto

Okay, I know that Xavier tried to talk to him, but words ain't gonna reach Magneto anymore. Although, I did laugh when Magneto told him to shut up.

Cyclops disobeying Xavier's orders. Is that the first time that ever happened? Cause damn.

Not gonna lie, I thought Wolverine succeeded in killing Magneto. But, he probably should've kept stabbing and slashing or go for a more vital area. Maybe then Wolverine wouldn't have gotten....that at the end.

Yeah, the end....how freaking dare you do this to Logan! His adamantine ripped out of his body! He still has his skeleton, but to do that to him?! Just....WHY?!?!?!

I know this happened in Fatal Attractions in the comics, but it doesn't mean I wanted it to happen to him in the show! I feel so bad for Logan.

Also, WHY DID YOU BRING THE GUY WITH METAL IN HIS BODY TO FIGHT A GUY WHO CAN MANIPULATE METAL?!?!?! Did it ever come across their minds that this would've been a bad idea? I know that the writers want this comic moment to happen, but come on! Logan should've been with the gold team!

I think that's all I got at the moment. I made a post of potential outcomes for the finale from the comics at the result of what happened to Logan. And, I'm dreading what might come to fruition. As for the stuff with Bastion and Sinister, they gotta turn things around for that one. But, I'm worried that the finale will lead to a dark end instead of a hopeful one. The finale will have to make it or break it for me, cause I love X-Men and all this conflict and stuff is just hurting so much. I still like the show, and it's way WAY better than the What If series in the MCU. But, we'll have to see what happens next week.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

I read your platonic yandere Cyclops and Gambit stuff... Good job! I'm enjoying it, and I hope to see more platonic yandere X-Men from you! (It's okay, though, if you don't! I just like not being the only one who writes for them!) Have a good day!

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I’m so glad you’re enjoying, AND ALSO ANOTHER WRITER IN MY NICHE?? OH MY GOD, YOU’RE SO AMAZING. Major shoutout, we single-handedly carrying these tags, LMAO.

And don’t worry!! I’ve got a lot more in store for platonic yandere X-Men. I’ve been cooking up something with Scott and Jean, it’s just taking me forever cuz the thoughts are REALLY thunking right now.

But yeah!! I have to check out your stuff. I eat up anything with my pookies in it, so the fact that there’s actually another writer out there literally brings a tear to my eye. <3

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

X-Men: The Animated Series - Season 1 (1992-1993)

Ok, so I just finished watching Season 1 of the X-Men and honestly, it holds up well. Like, really well. Disturbingly well. The show is really good at portraying the struggles of oppressed groups and the bullshit bigots throw at them. This is very prevalent in the Sentinel storyline, which is the main story arc of the season.

Honestly, I enjoyed it. Like, yeah, there were a few moments that I wasn’t vibing with, as a whole I can confidently say it was good. I am very excited to jump into Season 2.

As usual my live reactions (? I guess. I mean, I write these as I’m watching. What do you call a text version of a reaction?) are below the cut. Gimme like a couple weeks to watch Season 2. 

Episode 1 - “Night of the Sentinels - Part 1”

Ok, so as our introduction to the world of the X-Men, I thought that was alright. Honestly thought we’d spend more time with Jubilee to flesh out the world a bit more, but eh, I’m too bothered. Certainly got more outta this 20 minute episode than any of 60s Spider-Man 20 minute episodes, this actually had decent action and a plot. But of course it comes with a level of 90s edge, which isn’t my particular vibe but I don’t hate it. I’d honestly say my biggest gripe with this episode is it was quantity over quality, it introduced pretty much the entire main team, but didn’t really do a lot in terms of characterisation. Not to say that it didn’t do any, every character is very much in character this episode, it just felt a little shallow. I expect this to be remedied by the end of the season.

Characters introduced:

Jubilee / Jubilation Lee

My sheer lack of X-Men is about to come through. I have next to no idea who this is. I’d vaguely heard of her before, but as far as I’m aware she isn’t in the Fox films, so I’m just not familiar. Which is fine, because it allows me to get to know her as the show continues, which is what a show is supposed to do with its characters. Anyway, I think her powers are weirdly vague and not really explained, but you kinda get the jist of them after a bit.

Sentinels

I was not expecting Sentinels right off the bat, but they do create an immediate threatening and domineering presence. So I checked the Marvel wiki and apparently these specific Sentinels are the Mk IV variants, I think that’s what they are in Earth-616, as it seems like they’re something new in this continuity.

Rogue / Anna Marie

So I’m vaguely aware of the Ms. Marvel situation in this show, which leads me to wonder if she has flight and super strength in the comics? Cause she doesn’t in the films, at least I don’t think she does. It’s been awhile since I’ve watched them.

Storm / Ororo Munroe

As Shakespearian as ever, Storm is here. She honestly raises the question for me, are there actual people that talk like her? Like, seriously her dialogue would fit in a Dickens novel.

Gambit / Remy LeBeau

“wooimbouttamakeanameformyselfere”

Cyclops / Scott Summers

I have nothing to say about Cyclops. He’s just kinda here. He’s a bit boring. I hope he does something later.

Beast / Henry "Hank" McCoy

Another case of “do people actually talk like this?” Like who the fuck quotes books and shit mid conversation? “Teri, you quote vines on a daily basis.” Touché

Morph

So going into this, the only shapeshifter mutant I knew about was Mystique, so finding out about Morph was a surprise. I actually did a bit of digging around them. Found a few things: Originally they were supposed to be another guy, but the show runners didn’t wanna kill off like the only Native American from the comics, so he got swapped out for another guy, called Changeling, but they couldn’t use that name because Beast Boy was using that name at the time, and the show runners didn’t wanna catch heat from DC, so settled on an original character, Morph. Also, it should be noted that apparently in X-Men ‘97 Morph is revealed to be non-binary, which is great and if anyone has a problem with this fact I invite you to go fuck yourself.

Professor Charles Xavier

I don’t really have much to say about Xavier other than he has some weird eyebrows, and I don’t much care for his hover chair. Like, what’s wrong with having a normal wheelchair Charlie? You think you’re better than everyone? Prick. For sake of clarity, this is a joke. I actually have no strong opinions on the chair. That’s a lie, I think it’s an ugly colour. 

Jean Grey

She sure does appear in this episode. That is all I can say about Jean Grey. I know fuck-all about this woman.

Wolverine / James "Logan" Howlett

Logan is as aggressive as I expected him to be. So this is fine.

Henry Gyrich

Another guy that I know next to nothing about. I honestly thought he was Trask, and I am apparently wrong, so there you go. He seems like a slimy git.

Episode 2 - “Night of the Sentinels - Part 2”

Oh no, I can’t believe Morph died, who could’ve ever seen this coming.

I didn’t mention in the last episode that the mutants are pretty much a stand-in for every oppressed group in modern society. I never used to fully understand it, until watching this and being part of the LGBT+. It hits very close to home. The idea that your own government hates you, wants you dead for something you have literally no control over. It’s not fun. Seriously, try being trans in the UK, it’s bullshit. Granted I know there are much worse places, but I’m just talking from personal experience. And also, being trans doesn’t give me random powerful abilities, it would be great if it did. Point being, mutants are very on the nose about what they represent in the lens of the real world, you could try to argue this level of social science has no place in a children's show, but I would argue that this is the perfect place to teach children that sometimes are different, and that’s ok.

At bare minimum this kinda plot leads to some truly hateable villains, which would be funny if it weren’t realistic.

Onto the actual contents of the episode, it’s pretty good. Characterisation is pretty much on point, dialogue is aggressively 90s, and the non-mutant characters are mostly despicable.

Characters Introduced:

Bolivar Trask

That ain’t Peter Dinklage, what kinda bullshit you pulling here?!

Episode 3 - “Enter Magneto”

If George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” were a picture book, I still don’t think the guards watching Beast would understand it.

Anyway, hi Erik, nice to see you, glad you could drop in.

Something I noticed is certain scenes with flashing imagery seem extremely slowed down. I presume this was a decision by Disney for the Disney+ version, as modern rules regarding epilepsy are a lot stricter than they were in the 90s.

Not gonna, the anti-mutant protest outside the courtroom and the cunts in the courtroom are so frustratingly realistic. Like, seriously, what the fuck do they think they’re gonna achieve? That if they say “no more mutants” hard enough Hank will lose all his fur? Of course they don’t think that. This show in 3 episodes has done a very, very good job at showing how bigotry works. I know it gets more extreme as the show goes on, but as far as I’m aware, at no point does it become unrealistic. This show came out in ‘92, everything on display is still relevant in 2024. That should horrify you. Or piss you off depending on who you are as a person.

Onto something lighter, can we appreciate Wolverine’s sheer disdain for Sabretooth. It’s great.

Also since when could Xavier transfer information from Cerebro to X-Men on the field? Specifically, how did Storm insta-learn how to shut off nukes? Deus-ex my arsehole.

Character Introductions:

Magneto / Erik Magnus Lehnsherr

Here we finally have Magneto. Genuinely as I’ve got older, I’ve understood his entire deal so much more, and like, yeah, he’s a villain, he’s a prick that can and will kill anyone in his path, but he’s not completely wrong.  Again, I do not think he’s in the right, but he is also someone that has been scared by the worst of humanity. His anger is justified, and ultimate goal of mutant freedom is good, but the way he plans to achieve that goal is fucked. I think it’s a really good detail that Erik sounds and looks genuinely hurt when the X-Men go against him, cause he actually believes he is doing the right thing. So, round of applause for a complex villain. Hooray!

Sabretooth / Graydon Creed, Sr.

Diego is my least favourite of the Ice Age herd, I think he’s a bit of a dickhead… Wrong sabretooth, Teri. Graydon Creed is definitely a guy with a very hateable face. All I really know about him is that he’s a cunt that’s involved in Wolverine’s backstory. I’m sure this will be explored further as the series progresses.

Episode 4 - “Deadly Reunions”

HIM! WHERE IS HE!? WHERE IS WADE?!

So this episode establishes Storm’s claustrophobia and Rogue’s power absorption. Cool.

“...you wish me to wage war on six billion humans?” Oh. 3 decades. All it took was 3 decades to add another two billion to the human population. This has nothing to do with the episode really, it’s just that fact only just sank in with me. I’ve got nothing to add, just bloody hell, these are some scary numbers.

Jesus Christ Xavier, the fuck man? Weaponizing war trauma to beat Magneto? I mean, I get why he did it, but like, nah I ain’t about that.

“Right, and I’m the queen of England.” Honestly, Jubilee would be a much better queen of England than our useless king.

So, how the fuck did Sabretooth actually manage to wound Wolverine? Like, surely his healing factor would just fix him up real quick?

Character Introductions:

Senator Robert Kelly

Finally in the flesh, the king bigot. Motherfucker pretty much says he wants to set up concentration camps for mutants. As if the metaphors couldn’t be anymore on the nose.

Episode 5 - “Captive Hearts”

I do quite like how Storm’s claustrophobia is a recurring problem, it actually adds at least a bit of depth to her character.

Not gonna lie, I’m fond of the Wolverine pining for Jean bullshit. 

Is this episodes plot just Callisto getting pissy that Scott won’t fuck her?

Also can we just talk about how creepy Wolverine gets when chasing Callisto, like I’m not here for that. It’s not good.

Anyway Storm and Callisto having a lightsaber duel was pretty cool.

Character Introductions:

The Morlocks

Ok, so yes I’m grouping a lot of characters together here, but honestly I know so little about them I don’t have anything interesting to say. Before watching this I had never even heard of them, with the sole expectation of Leech, because I’m pretty sure he appears in one of the Fox films. Anyway, according to Marvel Wiki, here's all the named Morlocks: Leech, Sunder, Erg, Plague, Masque, Tar Baby, Annalee, Callisto, Tommy, Ape, Scaleface, & Glow Worm.

Episode 6 - “Cold Vengeance”

Oh no, Wolverine threw a tantrum and left, who could have ever seen coming.

Genuine question, how much of Canada is an ice cap?

Is Sabretooth wearing a skintight suit, or is he butt naked?

Can we just talk about the fact that both Storm and Jubilee wear appropriate casual attire, but Gambit’s still in his combat attire.

How did Sabretooth manage to catch and tie up the entire village? Like, surely someone could have escaped? Or more likely, wouldn’t he have just killed them all? Like, he’s a murderous psychopath, I’m surprised he could even be bothered to set bombs.

Ooo, looky the Sentinels are back.

Episode 7 - “Slave Island”

One of the antagonists of this episode is some cunt who calls himself “The Leader”, he’s not the actual Leader (Samuel Sterns), so I ain’t including him in the character introductions.

Why is Gambit weirdly out of character this episode? Like, he's much more of a prick than usual here.

Why is Cable here? How is Cable here? What time travel shenanigans were required for him to be here?

Character Introductions:

Cable / Nathan Summers

But seriously, why is Cable here? Not that I don’t appreciate him being here, I just kinda want an explanation. Especially since the episode seems to indicate that he’s not from the future, but I’m fully aware later seasons will contradict that. Maybe I’m missing something and this’ll be explained later.

Mastermold

That’s a big arse Sentinel.

Cameron Hodge

So, technically this guy first appears in Episode 3 as Beast’s lawyer, but he had no impact on the story and he was being pro-mutant, which is out of character.

Blob / Frederick Dukes | Sunfire / Shiro Yoshida | Feral / Maria Callasantos

These guys have speaking roles in the episode, but I honestly have nothing to say about them.

Cameo Appearances from Mystique, Pyro, Rictor, Avalanche, Thunderbird, Northstar, Aurora, Caliban, & Domino.

Episode 8 - “The Unstoppable Juggernaut”

Not gonna lie, I like how the Fox films actually show there being students at the X-Mansion, cos honestly without them, the place looks abandoned.

I really feel bad for Colossus, guys just doing a job and gets attacked by a group of bigots and then Wolverine & Jubilee. Like, seriously, when he says “What is it with these Americans? They are very strange people.” I’m inclined to agree with the guy (this is ignoring the fact that Logan is Canadian). Then he gets arrested for a robbery he doesn’t commit. Bloody hell, this man can’t catch a break. Thankfully his company in prison was Beast. The man may talk like an academic but at least he’s friendly.

What does Juggernaut need money for? Can’t he just take literally anything he wants? He’s the Juggernaut, who the fuck is stop him?

Anyway, I think he is fucking hilarious. Legitimately the funniest character the show has introduced.

I’m sure Juggernaut vs. Colossus is a fight I’m never gonna see again…

Ok, what we’ve learnt is that if Rogue absorbs Juggernaut’s powers, she breaks. Interesting.

And at the end he just walks away, because of course he does. Not like they can beat him any other way.

Characters Introduced:

Colossus / Piotr Rasputin

Can I just say that I think Colossus is lovely. Like, I think he’s a very good example of what a man should be. Strong, friendly, a little bit dumb. A himbo by true definition. I may be crushing on a fictional character. 

Juggernaut / Cain Marko

“Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!”

Episode 9 - “The Cure”

More Cable shenanigans. I’m sure he’s actually from the future this time.

Oh look Logan being a twat and antagonising most of the team, I’m sure that’ll go really well for him.

Damn, Gambit really out here trying to push himself onto Rogue, despite knowing she could kill him just by touch. What a knob.

Everytime Cable asks for Dr. Adler, I’m just reminded of this moment from Dragon Ball Z Abridged.

That is all.

Character Introductions:

Angel / Warren Worthington III

This millionaire in the colour blue is available for pre-order. Call 1800-APOCALYPSE now!

Moira MacTaggert

As far as I’m aware she’s important to the X-Men mythos, but I personally know fuck all about her. 

Mystique / Raven Darkhölme

Ah, Mystique, the psychotic bitch with the power to make all trans people jealous. Infuriating.

Pyro / St. John Allerdyce

For some reason, they decided he needed English instead of Australian in this continuity.

Avalanche / Dominikos Petrakis

Ok, so his powers are like, seismic energy right? It just bothers me that a guy named Avalanche doesn’t have ice powers.

Apocalypse / En Sabah Nur

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda surprised to see Apocalypse here. I honestly expected him to be, like, ‘the big bad’ at the end of the series.

Episode 10 - “Come the Apocalypse”

Ok, so lemme get this straight, Warren wants a cure for his mutation because he considers himself a freak, yet the fucker wears a full spandex superhero suit that incorporates his wings. If you hate your wings, why would you own a bright red and white costume? Make yourself more visible? Dumbarse.

“Death, the winged avenger”, 🤓☝️erm ackshually, Apocalypse, Archangel isn’t an Avenger.

And then they all fuck off. Kinda anticlimactic, ngl.

Character Introductions:

Archangel / Warren Worthington III

This millionaire is now available in the colour. To get yours call 1800-HORSEMANofDEATH now! “Didn’t you already include Worthington here?” Yeah, but this time he’s blue… and slightly insane.

Episode 11 - “Days of Future Past - Part 1”

Wow, it really takes no time at all for Bishop to flip teams.

Ok, so what causes Bishop’s amnesia? Was it Nimrod reaching for him? I don't think this is ever explained.

Oh, hi Frank. Good to you see. Going by the wrong name I see.

More questions, why’s Bishop’s time thingamajig not working properly?

I’m sorry, but what the fuck? Bro just drove a bus straight through the X-Mansion XD.

Ok, I like Wolverine’s constant mocking of Bishop. The man deserves it, he’s a bit of a stuck up prick.

… Oh my god. I just made a horrifying realisation.

Silver is just Bishop’s hedgehog-sona.

Gambit finally shows back up and Bishop’s immediate first thought is to shoot the bastard. Don’t worry man, it happens to all of us. I too murder the first frenchman I see when sent on important missions.

Characters Introduced:

Lucas Bishop

“It’s no use!” Bishop is the kinda guy to shoot first, ask questions never.

Forge

He is here. I don’t actually have any idea who he is.

Nimrod

This is a really dumb name for something that’s supposed to be threatening.

Episode 12 - “Days of Future past - Part 2”

Jesus, Jubilee, what’s your beef with tattoos? I mean, they’re not really my vibe, but there’s no reason to call Bishop a freak. (We’re just gonna ignore that the guy shot Gambit and Rogue, that ain't important.)

Genuinely, Logan’s been pretty funny these last few episodes.

So, is Magneto not the leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants in this continuity? Interesting.

Again with the protesting? What the fuck do they hope to achieve? Fuck me, bigots are really fucking dumb.

Loving Blob’s Hawaiian shirt, tho.

Speaking of, how does Blob’s powers work? Like, is he just impervious to damage by sheer fat? If so, that is both really gross, but really cool.

“This kid’s crying. Do something” before shoving the child into Jubilee. Honestly, same, Logan. I too don’t wanna deal with crying children.

Mystique is just the queen of gaslighting and manipulation. Especially with Rogue.

I quite like that the whole assassinate Senator Kelly plot was Apocalypse’s plan, keeps him lurking in the background like the big bad he ought to be.

Characters Introduced:

Blob / Frederick Dukes

Technically, Blob made his first appearance in Episode 7, but this is his first appearance of actual significance.

Episode 13 - “The Final Decision”

Oh look, the bigots have resorted to rioting cause they’ve decided a group of people are responsible for shit only a few have done. 😒Where have I seen that before? 

Ok, so a few things. One, how the fuck did Mastermold achieve sentience? Two, why is its plot effectively just to create the cybermen from Doctor Who?

Oh, hello Ghost Rider, fancy seeing you here.

“Stop him gently, Storm.” “As gentle as the falling snow.” She then proceeds to almost kill Gyrich by making him crash into a tree. Good job, Storm.

This is the first thing I thought of when the X-Men were debating on if it’s worth saving Senator Kelly with Gambit reluctant to join.

“You're all fools... Heroic fools.” I literally could not agree more Erik. “The brave are always the first to die.” and that is just fucking cold. Not gonna lie, I fucking love Magneto in this show.

Thinking about it, why do the sentinels even bother discussing what they are doing? Like shouldn’t they all be talking to each other through some kinda network? I feel like that would’ve made them more threatening.

“What is that object? It appears to be the ace of spades.” Like, seriously, how are these guys a serious threat?

“Did you think I would let you die alone, Xavier?” Aw, Erik does care.

“Mutants are human. Therefore, humans must be protected from themselves.” Ok, so Mastermold is based. Still an evil prick, but at least it ain’t a bigot.

Ok, so with Scott and Jean’s proposal scene, why does she jump straight to talking about kids? Like, that’s a whole new fucking conversation ma’am.

Oooo, how very Sinister of an ending.

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 8 Merry Christmas everyone:

"Nico, God's you scared us."

"What? Am I in the infirimry? Is Piper okay?" He said barely able to speak, coughing after each word.

"Piper woke up in an hour, you've been out for three days Death boy."

"Don't call me that, wait WHAT? I've been out for three days?"

"Try to breathe, I'll get you some water and then I'll explain." The blonde boy walked of and Nico tried to comprehend what had just happened, he'd passed out for three days. Shit, what had happened with the cyclops. Solace had returned with a glass of water and handed it to Nico after he had sat up, "Jason's been worried sick about you, I finally forced him outside today to get some food. You had a concussion and you were practically dead, I forced as much necter down your throat as I could without killing you."

"I didn't kill the cyclops, what happened after?" Nico coughed as he spoke, Will ruffled his hair.

"Neeks it was handled, but right now that isn't important. Three days rest in the infirmary, no underworldy things for 11 weeks 6 for this time, 5 for last time. I'll go and get you some food it'll probably help. Also I'll get Jason, he's hasn't slept for the past three days and would kill me if I didn't tell him instantly." Nico wanted to protest but he physically couldn't, he just nodded as the golden boy walked off. He wondered how longs Jason had been waiting and instantly felt guilty, he also desperately wanted to see Piper to make sure she was okay but right now he could barely breath. Jason ran into the room wrapping his arms around Nico,

"I was so fucking scared di Angelo, I thought you were dead."

"S-sorry.." Nico muttered,

"What are you apologising for?"

"Will told me you haven't slept for three days."

"Well yeah, I was worried about you, not exactly your fault you got attacked. Nico you don't know how bad it looked, you we're laying on the floor covered in blood with Piper on top of you. When we first took you to the infirmary sometimes you would go through solid objects like you were turning into a shadow, you had a broken arm and were barely breathing. Fucking hell Nico I'm so happy you're alive."

"Is Piper okay?"

"Yeah she's fine, just gave her a bit of ambrosia and she woke up. She's been beating herself up over not noticing the cylopese before though."

"That's what she's worried-" Nico started coughing violently before he managed to drink some water, before wincing at the pain in his ribs.

"Nico! Are you okay?" A mixture of fear and panic washed over Jason's face,

"Fine. Go back to dinner, you look like you haven't eaten in far to long."

"Irony," Jason smirked before walking out the door.

***

The Apollo boy walked in carrying two plates of food, placing one on an empty table and handing the other one to Nico.

"Neeks you okay?"

"Hurts...to...breathe." The blonde boy quickly walked up to Nico lifting his shirt and touching his torso feeling his ribs, the son of Hades flinched at the contact.

"Sorry," Will said, yet still keeping his hands on the small boy.

"Still getting used to human contact." Nico mumbled, the Apollo boys hand was warm on his skin.

"Shit, Neeks. It's broken, I should have checked but I completely forgot with the whole passing through solid objects and hoping you would wake up. I'm really sorry." He pushed on the bones a bit, it hurt but Nico showed no reaction. Then he started softly singing a hymn, Nico felt warmth rushing over his body. He exhaled softly as the blonde boy that he just realised had been faintly glowing faded, he lifted his hands off leaving Nico's skin warm. "That should have fixed it," Will said as his bright blue eyes locked with Nico's. "You okay Neeks?"

"Yeah, fine." Nico muttered realising he had just frozen, he quickly grabbed his shirt and pulling it down before starting to process the fact that Will Solace can heal when he sings and glows.

"You seem surprised," Will noted, he was as well, his healing had been less reliable after the Gods disappeared for months.

"YOU HEAL PEOPLE SINGING? FUCKING SINGING OF ALL THINGS?!?" Nico said in pure shock,

"Apollo's the God of music, healing and the Sun..?"

"But just imagine if you get stabbed and someone just starts singing."

"It makes more sense on paper okay!" Will says raising his hands in surrender, "Nico you should probably eat something, you've been on an IV for three days." Nico glanced over realising the needle was in his arm.

"I'm not hungry." Nico muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Wil to hear.

"Neeks you haven't eaten in three days, just try to eat something. It'll make you feel better, you'll need it." Nico knew that he wouldn't be able to keep anything down, but maybe if he acted right he could play it off as a one time thing, he just felt bad this time thing. Will started eating an apple,

"What happened to an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" Nico smirked, before forcing himself to take a bite of a sandwich and instantly regretted it. Will just smiled and rolled his eyes at the comment; Nico kept forcing himself to eat, no matter how sick he felt. He was hoping that Will would leave soon but doubted he would be that lucky, the Apollo kid seemed insistent on keeping him company. Will looked over to the small boy realising how sick he looked,

"Neeks you alright?" Nico just shook his head, Will quickly handed him the closest bin and held back Nico's hair as he threw up the sandwhich he had just forced himself to eat.

"Cazzo." He muttered under his breath, normally he could force himself to last a bit longer but after the last three days he couldn't handle it. Will gave him a glass of water before sitting down on the bed next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. After a few minutes he ran his fingers through Nico's hair, taking out every tangel.

"Di Angelo, you should probably get some rest, it should help you feel better. Tomorrow morning see if you can eat anything, we'll keep you on the IV for now." Nico just nodded already half asleep leaning against the blonde boy. Will lifted up the sleeping boy with ease, laying him on the bed. He was too light, he weighed 90 pounds at the very most which was dangerously underweight. Will made a mental note to talk to him more about that; he looked at the small boy laying there. He seemed so peaceful, he had gone through so much, this was the first time Will had seen him relaxed, even in his sleep. Last time he'd been in the infirmary he had slept for most of it but he always seemed ready to attack or run, Will couldn't help but smile at him. He flicked off the lights and checked his watch, 8:42, that meant he would have some time to talk to Annabeth before campfire.

***

_____

Let just say more... intense things will be happening in the next few chapters.

Happy holidays, hope you have an amazing day. Thank you all so much for getting my last part to 18 hearts, means the world to me. Comment something good that happened to you today.

Xx

[thisisyouridol]

tell me about your aitsf au im so curious whats the deal…

anon i wanna make out with you sloopy style

i love talking about the name origin so ill explain that really quickly: eudaimonia is a greek word that basically means “division by good means” or a “great (as in positive) divide”. i called it this because i consider this au like an other side of the coin type deal, in ai1 saito briefly considers the fact of what would have happened to all of them if he had never killed manaka, this au is like, my take on that.

ah i dont wanna just have a block of text click the thingy you sexy thing you

yeah this is a manaka lives au. saito still goes on to become the other half of the cyclops killers, but he gets much less enjoyment out of it because his assiociation with killing is not as important and does it mainly at rohans behest. his relationship with his father is better / worse also because him sabotaging the plant never happened here either. points of the main plot still happen like the second psync machine, hayato and saito’s psync, but because there IS no hit on iris and hitomi theres a lot of stuff i move around (like the hayato rohan psync, how hayato comes to find out whos the cyclops killers, etc etc) and i decide to do some hand wavy magic, the hayato and saito psync goes weird—because they both have the capability to psync. they both kind of get kicked out of somnium.

in my au psyncers are a much rarer commodity, and i only have plans to include saito, hayato, mizuki (no bibi here srry), + ryuki as psyncers. being a psyncer in this au means that unless you are compatible with that other psyncer, you cant psync with them. so, mizuki can psync with ryuki because they get along and emotionally are connected, whereas saito and hayato hate each other.

back to what i was saying. anyways the plot is a little spotty here bc this au is actually like a sitcom to me but ultimately boss finds out that saito can psync, blackmails so sejima with his murders, and lets rohan take the fall for all of it. she basically comes to “own” saito and they take a lot of measures to control him. he changes the way he looks (see ponytail) and has a plate enforced in his head (the thing that looks like a eyepatch), and changes his last name. hes forced to live with hayato who looks over him and makes sure basically he doesnt kill anyone while working as special agent / himself because hes on like five different medications to make him normal-core.

for hayato he still left hitomi (who co-parents iris with manaka) because of his sordid evil past or whatever. he comes to reconnect with them when iris is like 14-15 and saito is like jesus fucking christ [realizes everything is connected.] mizuki also lives with saito and hayato but not like consistently she just stays over a lot, renju has a very faint idea of who saito is bc hes smart like that but lowkey he doesnt gaf bc hes also neglectful like that. hes like hayato my drinking buddy can you and your murderer boyfriend watch my kid for a week thanks love you ❤️ legally they cant talk ab what saito did, his father, you get what im saying here.

saito, like date, is given aiba after a year of being with abis, she’s meant to be a companion but also takes the role of keeping him in check so hayato can take a back seat regarding that. she shocks him all the time mainly for fun. saito also doesnt have the authorization from boss to use weaponry so hayato tends to hav tag along with him, saito is not allowed to kill because boss considers it an “addiction”, hayato does it for him basically so he can stay “clean”.

hayato is also considered a consultant for abis rather than being a official member because he doesn’t have a ai-ball partner, he’s given tama about two years after saito is given aiba. if you’re wondering where that leaves ryuki and mizuki, ryuki gets maruko and mizuki and saito share aiba.

the plot of ai1 doesnt happen here (so a lot of characters stay alive and they never learn certain things ahh!!) but im working on a murder mystery plot based on ai2, it’ll have to do with ryuki and his family mainly. ill be honest and say i dont really like aini but i love some characters so theyll be here too!!

theres a 100 things i could say but im trying not to infodump lol if you want to know more ab a specific character pls shoot me another ask ill tell you everything ily .

heres some old fic stuff as a treat from me to you

[bamfdaddio]

Uncanny X-Men Abridged: 1984 - The Woman Who Could Fly

The X-Men, those powered-down mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 185 - 188) - by Chris Claremont and John Romita, Jr.; Dan Green, Bob Wiacek, Barry Windsor Smith

See, when I’m depressed, I look like a human puddle. Storm? Looks like this. (Uncanny X-Men 186)

So, it turns out becoming an X-Men does not magically scrub the fact that you used to be a member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants from your record, nor does it magically absolve you from the fact that you broke into a SHIELD heli-carrier and ran off with a prisoner. Yeah, looking at you, Rogue.

Henry Gyrich, government operative and human ferret, is happy to seize on the opportunity of Rogue’s misbehavior to do some field testing. On what? A new gizmo Forge developed. It’s a gun that removes mutant powers! Mystique is not pleased with this, for two reasons:

Even though her relationship with Rogue is complicated right now, she’s the only one who has the right to torment her daughter.

She doesn’t want guns that strip mutants of their powers in the hands of anyone, let alone the government.

I know Mystique is a murderous psychopath, but when it comes to not trusting the government, she’s right on the money. Should she have killed Forge when she had the chance? Check back later.

But this is not the only plotline going on! We also have a stowaway from an alternative future who accioopsidentally ended up in the wrong past. (i.e.: she’s Rachel, the daughter of Cyclops and Jeans from the Days of Future Past, and she ended up in an alternative past that is supposedly better than her one.)

The most surprising thing about this is that Rachel, timeline-wise a millennial, would be able to figure out how a landline works so quickly. (Uncanny X-Men 185)

Following her altercation with the ex-boyfriend of Carol Danvers and the realization that fucking Carol sometimes fucking takes control of her fucking body, Rogue has fled back Mississippi to get away from it all. At a secluded bank by the river, she’s taking a refreshing dip. (Do people do this? Is the Mississippi that clean? I’m from Europe, we’ve been ruining our rivers for over a thousand years.)

This is where Storm comes to check on her. They talk and we finally learn more about Rogue’s past. By this river, she accidentally discovered her powers while making out with a boy. (This is a detail that many, many writers in the future will go ahead and run rampant with.) Rogue expresses regret for having stolen Ms. Marvel’s powers and Storm is all: “I knew you had a heart!”

This scene might mark the one instance in comic history where there is a dramatic degloving and Rogue is, in fact, not the one dramatically degloving her hand. (Uncanny X-Men 185)

It might seem like this arc is about Rogue, but these four issues are, in fact, a love letter to Storm. She is the first one on the team to really reach out to Rogue after the girl joins the team, the first time we see someone really taking an interest in her. And it’s not the same motherly interest she takes in Kitty, or the girlfriend she was to Jean Grey. One thing I love about the Claremontian era is the relationships between these characters and how different they all are. Their friendships are strong, but due to their differences in age and outlook, they relate differently to one another. It’s terrific.

While Storm sleeps it off, Rogue explores the world through the eyes of Ororo. Since being Storm would understandably make everyone feel elated and Rogue has a lot of fun with tiny rain storms and tiny thunder clouds, she is very, very tempted to take a little more.

I get that you ran off to be on your lonesome, Rogue, but god damn that is one dangerous bikini you´re wearing. In every possible way. (Uncanny X-Men 185)

Just when Rogue is having her Main Character Growth Moment, Henry Gyrich and his cronies find the two mutants (using Forge’s Cerebro-lite). They take aim at Rogue, but fortunately, the gun is set at low-level, so it mostly leaves her dazed and confused.

Rogue flies off, trying to draw the men away from Storm’s unconscious form, and when she has succeeded in doing that, she defends herself by whipping up a hurricane. The problem is, as Storm has shown many times, that summoning a storm is a lot easier than controlling one. (They’re like babies! Easy to make, hard to raise.) Everything threatens to spin out of control as Rogue’s gale not only threatens Gyrich, but also a nearby riverboat filled with innocents.

Fortunately, there are two dramatic bitches in this cast who can be depended upon to make a proper entrance. One is Magneto, and the other…

Storm: she is, like, at least prime upper management material (Uncanny X-Men 185)

While Storm and Rogue drag the limp boat to the safety of a river bank, Henry Gyrich smells a snivelly, ferrety opportunity. He trains the Powers-B-Gone Gun on Rogue and Fate rolls her dice.

Because earlier, Mystique told Forge what Gyrich and the government were up to with his invention. Because earlier, an irate Forge decided to put a stop to all of this. Because earlier, Forge flew to Mississippi. Because, just a few moments ago, he touched down by the river.

And, like a jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces of this tragedy fall together.

Fuck, I love this issue. The artist really knocked it out of the park with these panels. (Uncanny X-Men 185)

Gyrich is such a little scum weasel, jeez. In one fell swoop, he makes an enemy out of the X-Men and Forge, he loses Rogue who is swept away by the currents, he takes the wrong mutant off the board and removes an infinitely useful power set from the mix, and he endangers everyone on that boat. (Look at that blast and tell me no one died there.)

Yeah, nicely done, fuckstick.

Forge, feeling guilty, goes to take care of Storm. Meanwhile, through some scrying portal, a bunch of sorcerous alien parasites called Dire Wraiths observe Forge, vowing to kill Forge since his neutraliser gun has the potential to wipe out the Wraiths and thwart their impending invasion. The Dire Wraiths aren’t often used as enemies these days: they belong to the domain of Rom, the Space Knight, whose rights belong to Hasbro? Sort of? Whatever, I think this is the only time they’re ever used in an X-Man story, but I might be wrong. (I haven’t read much Excalibur, and they’ve got a lot of weird stuff going on there.)

Xavier tries to find Storm after this altercation, but he can’t find her with Cerebro. (Spoiler alert: it’s because some gun erased the mutant out of her.)

Forge takes Storm home to Eagle Plaza in Texas, his personal man cave. (Literally. It has so many gizmos.) Storm is in that state of depression where she does not actively want to kill herself, but would not mind if something lethal were to befall her. Everything weather makes her sad: it’s like she lost one of her senses. (Er. Because she kind of did. She can’t predict what the clouds will do, she suddenly feels the cold…) Despite that, she finds herself drawn to the Maker. She likes his intelligence, she likes the way he provokes her, challenges her. He likes her because she’s Storm. (Duh.) I can’t really do it justice, but the slow burn of their attraction-despite-the-circumstances is written really well.

After Storm shares some irony with Forge – she’s been struggling with the balance between her emotions and her powers ever since her, uh, ‘friendship’ with Yukio; but now that she can feel freely without fear of literal hurricanes, she just feels empty inside – they go for a swim.

these panels foreshadow that the effects of the gun aren’t permanent, because the way Storm’s hair behaves after just getting out of the pool is absolutely impossible unless you still have a mutation. (Uncanny X-Men 186)

While Storge is getting on like a house of fire, Valerie Cooper is having a terrible day. First she is attacked by Dire Wraiths (who casually kill and then impersonate one of her underlings by sticking a stinger into his forehead and sucking him dry of his essence, like Cell in Dragonball Z), then she is attacked by Rogue who:

Does get rid off the Wraiths for her

Also figured out Val has something do with the power-zapping gun and touches her to steal her memories.

Back in Texas, Storm overhears Gyrich calling Forge and Forge confessing that he created the gun, something he had not shared with Storm yet. Storm, predictably, goes ape shit.

We call this ‘The reason you suck’-speech in the biz. (Uncanny X-Men 186)

Storm’s dramatic exit is sort of spoiled by an attack of the Dire wraiths. She is saved by Nazé, a Shaman and friend of Forge. Storm, despite being without her powers and despite her hatred of Forge, decides to stay and help him fight. (It’s a “only I get to kill him”-vibe.)

Colossus, Nightcrawler and Rogue join the fray. (After swiping Valerie’s memories, Rogue decides some back-up was wise. Clever girl.) (Kitty and Wolverine are conspicuously absent: I think they're in Japan.) Kurt even brought Amanda Sefton, thinking her magical capabilities might be of some assistance. Nazé thinks along the same lines, starting a ritual to stop the Wraiths. He fucks it up: instead of opening a door for a friendly entity, he welcomes something else into the realm. I think he kicks the bucket? Or he might be possessed. It’s unclear. I’m sure it won’t come up at some point later.

Yeah, this fight is not going well. But then, there’s a surprise guest to turn the tides!

SISTERS! Are doin’ it for themselves…

Illyana’s Soul Sword is anathema to magic, and with that on their side, they manage to clear Forge’s loft of the Dire Wraiths, eking out a victory. In the aftermath, Illyana reveals to Piotr that she’s good at handling magic and has a magic sword because she was Belasco’s apprentice, not just his prisoner. Colossus, not truly realizing what that means or how much Illyana was changed by Limbo, hugs her and says he will always love his little sister.

With the Dire Wraiths defeated, the X-Men whisk Storm away.

The denouement of this story happens at the mansion. Ororo confesses to Kurt that she no longer has a place among the X-men now that she’s no longer a mutant. Kurt, grappling with his own crisis of faith, asks her to stay a little while longer. He calls a meeting and it’s obvious that he is unable to deal with his anger: he lashes out to the Professor, the X-Men and mankind, asking when enough is enough. They’ve been fighting the good fight for ages, and what have they got to show for it?

Jean: dead

Thunderbird: dead

Sean: maimed

Storm: maimed

Colossus: sister was robbed of her youth

Wolverine: fiancee terminated their marriage

Kitty: terrible fashion choices

Scott: married happily, but after he retired, so that doesn’t count

Tragedy follows them wherever they go, and nothing seems to change. In fact, the world seems to actively get worse, what with the government now stripping the best of them of their powers and the looming Mutant Registration Act. The problem with fighting for an ideal is that change happens incrementally and that defeating some time-traveling nutbag who wants to destroy the world by vaporizing everyone’s feet is easier than changing the hearts and minds of people who don’t like thinking critically about things because everything is awful and they’d rather want tomorrow to be mostly like today without thinking about clemency for minorities that look and/or act different and can accidentally vaporize your feet.

Rachel has a freak-out because Kurt accidentally rantfesses that Jean (her mom) is dead, but after that, she highlights the narrative importance of Days of Future Past, i.e. without the X-Men, the world might not be actively better, but it could be so much fucking worse.

Which, uh, rah rah, I guess?

*cue Full House-theme and audience applause*

And that’s it for the biggest plotline of 1984! While stripping superheroes of their powers has been a part and parcel of, er, superhero comics since the dawn of superhero comics, usually they get their powers back before the end of the arc. With Storm, it’s as permanent as possible in comic continuity (that means, 5 years at most). I don’t even know when she gets them back. I think she has them in Australia, but does she have them for Mutant Massacre? Maybe? Let’s find out!

But before that, we’ve got a powerless Storm kicking uppity Scot’ss ass and I hope that’s next year! Til then!

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: childe x traveler gn reader

req: yes | wc: 1.11k | cw: violence

🤠alex: Being a traveler that saves childe from an attack, he thinks you just got lucky with your doges and he gets in a battle that you save him from again. Then he realizes “oh yeah, i need this person by my side, either romantically, or platonically.”

Treasure hoarders are either stupid or extremely genius.

Who would’ve thought to ambush a Fatui Harbinger, the 11th no less? But it was the fact it was the 11th that they tried.

You see, Childe was also either stupid or smart. While he could not deny a fight, no matter how many opponents or disadvantages, he could also prevail through 20 man armies. Either he ran on pure fighting instincts or he was smart enough -though it was more about observation- to catch his opponents’ weaknesses.

Nevertheless, the treasure hoarders knew that the 11th Harbinger’s pride and obsession with the thrill of battle would mean that he would not stop fighting until all of them were defeated.

That is why they brought, oh let’s see, every treasure hoarder in Liyue? Oh what’s that, 100? Sounds about right.

Childe was a fool to not run away at the mere sight of them. You see 100 people in front of you, all armed with hammers, shovels, molotovs, and throwing knives; and you don’t run.

It was lucky you came across the large fight -it was quite loud, really. As the traveler who beat a dragon, an old god, and even the 11th Harbinger himself, all without a ‘vision’; you could handle 100 men, provided you had a partner.

Sending Paimon away to find help, you dive into battle quickly, back to back with Childe.

“What the heck is going on, Childe?” The man only glances your way before turning back to the treasure hoarders. You catch a smile on his face, which is surely from the ‘thrill’.

“I don’t know, they ambushed me! I’m not one to turn down a fight, though.” Based on the twenty or so men on the ground, you could surmise he wasn’t going down anytime soon. Though there were about four fifths of people left.

“Clearly.” You huff.

“I take my side, you take yours!”

“Childe, no-”

Before you could argue why that was a horrible idea, he was already running away from you and back into the fray. “You damn idiot!”

Of course, you knew he was bound to be reckless at some point -and no, you did not mean just now when he decided to split. He was a ballsy man with ballsy decisions. He cuts a guy once with his hydro daggers, and then he looks away like a moron. And you know what happens? The guy is fine, he’s not down, and he can still throw blows.

Before he can deal a blow to your favorite Harbinger, your sword is parrying his shovel. Childe only has time to glance your way once again before he turns back to your foes. “Thanks!”

“Don’t mention it!”

Anyway, turns out (1+1) - 100 = 0, because 1 traveler and 1 harbinger can beat 100 treasure hoarders. Neither of you were unscathed, that’s for sure, but at least you’re alive.

As you freshen up with nearby river water -thank Teyvat landscape- Childe thinks back to the battle. “Thanks again.”

And once again, you say, “Don’t mention it.”

He could’ve handled one shovel to the head though, couldn’t he? His pride was telling him that much. Perhaps… you were just lucky. Was that right? Seems right to him!

Yes, you’re skilled. Yes, you beat him in battle. Yes, you also beat a god.

He doesn’t want to admit that if it weren’t for you, he would’ve been robbed off all his pocket money -not that he didn’t have money in the bank, and possibly his life. In fact, he doesn’t even think about it.

Though the next time his life is in danger, he’s back in the ‘Liyue’s Institute for Toy Research’ a.k.a. the Fatui’s ruin guard investigation facility.

Why is he there? Teucer wants a new toy, a much, much bigger Mr. Cyclops. The little boy had needs that Childe couldn’t help but fulfill.

Why are you there? He brought you along. Considering last time -both at the Toy Institute and the 100 treasure hoarder incident- you had to come in order to, basically, babysit him.

Hopefully you would be able to find one lonely ruin guard to fight and take home.

But your hopes are useless.

“Childe not again!” Last time, you sat back while Teucer and Childe played ‘hide and seek’. You watched him fight a bunch of ruin guards all at once, a mistake that you wouldn’t take this time.

The Harbinger merely laughs, diving into battle once again. Honestly, how is this man not dead already?

One by one, sometimes a pair a time, ruin guards keep dropping in after you defeat one. The only thoughts in your head are “I hate Childe”, “When are they going to stop?”, and battle observations. Childe, on the other hand, seems to be having the time of his life.

He’s laughing. Take a second to process that.

HE’S LAUGHING.

And once again, as a reckless and ballsy man, he forgets to check his surroundings and gets too carried away with the current ruin guard he’s fighting. The result of that: near death.

Missiles come his way, what’s the only thing you can do? Tackle him to the ground to dodge the missiles.

When you land on the ground, safe and sound, you get up right away and go back to fighting. Childe is stunned for a few minutes, but he’s quick to follow. “Thanks!”

“You owe me one!”

You hadn’t given him enough time for him to pull you into a quick kiss -you’re hot and that move you just pulled was extremely sexy- nor did he have time to savor the moment. Sure, if you stayed on the ground for longer, you could’ve gotten squashed, but he liked you! Still, he was lucky to have you.

You weren’t the lucky one, he was. He was lucky that you were there to cover for his recklessness. And god, he had to admit, you two would make great fighting partners!

Was it too late to ask you to become a harbinger? “Hey, can you join the Fatui and-”

“I’m not going to join the Fatui just to be your partner, Childe.” Good try.

However, he had to have you as a partner! Otherwise, he couldn’t pull risky and fun moves without the actual risk of injury.

Ah, he’s always dreamed of dropping his Fatui job and becoming an adventurer with you. Maybe, just maybe, it was worth a try. It’s not like he disrespected the Tsaritsa, he approved of her goal of world peace, but he didn’t like the methods they were taking.

Well, whatever the method, he needs to have you by his side...

Kissing you would be a plus, too.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

REVERSAL AU - Talking With the Locals

[A transcript of how Risky's talk with Blast, Rattle, and 'Pod in Shantae would go]

[In Water Town, RISKY walks up to BLAST, looking a bit annoyed. The cyclops doesn't even notice her, looking rather gleeful and chuckling to himself about something]

RISKY: Hello, Blast...what's got you so smug?

BLAST: Well, well, if it isn't my heroic rival? Or should I say FORMER rival, because I'M way out of your league now!

RISKY: Oh for-we never HAD a rivalry-

BLAST: Know why? 'Cause I just beat Captain Shantae!

RISKY: Wait, what!?

BLAST: Yup! The Chimera Pirates' ship docked, and she got out personally to demand the location of the Dribble Fountain!

BLAST: Heh, stupid pirate didn't even realize it was on the outskirts of town. Which I told her myself, before giving her the ol' 1-2-BOOM!

BLAST: And then she ran for it! Yeah, I know, I'm amazing.

RISKY: I...Wait, Dribble Fountain?

BLAST: Oh, yeah, it's this big monument that has a bunch of old ruins and artifacts inside. You can't miss it.

RISKY: ...out of curiosity, where did Captain Shantae run?

BLAST: Oh, she went in the same direction you came from. Surprised you didn't see her, really!

RISKY: And where is the Dribble Fountain?

BLAST: You would've just passed it.

RISKY: So, you're telling me...you "beat" the Chimera Pirates' invasion force of one, that being the captain herself...

RISKY: And then let her run off in the direction of the ancient ruins filled with valuable treasures...

RISKY: ...which she was trying to get to in the first place?

BLAST: Hmm...when you lay it out like that...WAIT...

BLAST: ARE YOU SAYING I'VE BEEN TRICKED!?

RISKY: Do you have one eye?

BLAST: Oooooohh...I'll show that rotten pirate for tricking me! A little BLAM here, a KAPOW there, and then a big KABLAMMO!

BLAST: Oh yeah! GET READY FOR A RECKONING!

[BLAST runs off in the direction RISKY came from.]

RISKY: I better follow him. No doubt Shantae won't make it as easy for him as she did last time...

[RISKY runs off in the direction she came as well.]

~~~~

[RISKY walks into a stone room. RATTLE is at the other end, looking over some papers]

RATTLE: ...then if I add the eye of a Frog Fish, it should-

RISKY: Rattle? What are you doing in Oasis Town?

RATTLE: Oh, Risky! This is a pleasant surprise! Mimic sent me out here to do some research on some glyphs he found on his travels.

RATTLE: I've, uh...actually gotten all the research done that I can, but I heard he's busy with some kind of project...

RATTLE: ...so I've just been preoccupying myself with some magic until I figure he's done.

RISKY: Oh, please! We both the old man needs to get dragged away from his projects from time to time.

RATTLE: Hahaha...well, that's certainly true! But what brings YOU here, Risky?

RISKY: Unfortunately, nothing good. I'm sure you've heard of the Golem Stone, right? Do you know where it is?

RATTLE: Hmm...I do know of the Golem Stone, but neither Relic Hunter or archaeologist has ever able to track it down.

RATTLE: But! I have a hunch it's in the Golem Mine a few miles in the desert. With a name like that, it can't be a coincidence.

RATTLE: It's got a solid lock, though. Lucky for you, I've been saving this for a rainy day!

[RATTLE walks over to RISKY and hands her a flask of unknown liquid.]

RATTLE: One splash of this, and that lock will be good as gone.

RISKY: And you're sure it will work?

RATTLE: Naturally! I triple-checked my work with this one - I know how you are with magic.

RISKY: You're always reliable, Rattle. Good luck with your potions.

[RISKY turns and starts to leave, only to stop in place]

RISKY: Actually...can I talk to you for a moment?

RATTLE: Sure! What's on your mind?

RISKY: ...I was in Water Town, right before I got here. Went inside the Dribble Fountain. And in there, I found a...guardian genie.

RATTLE: Really? That's rather surprising! They're very rare to come by these days, you know.

RISKY: Yes, yes, big discovery, I know, but...she taught me something. A spell to summon some kind of golem.

RISKY: I found myself forced to use it at several points; my tools just weren't cutting it - and it worked FINE, I suppose, but-

RISKY: I'm worried. What if I summon it one day and it goes rogue? What if it attacks me? My friends? What if I CAN'T STOP IT? What if-

RATTLE: Slow down, Risky! Breathe. BREATHE.

RATTLE: ...now, magical constructs aren't my forte, but from my knowledge, they're pretty mindless. They only follow the orders of the summoner.

RATTLE: And I know for a fact that you'd never attack us! So don't worry so much about hypotheticals, okay? You're fine.

RATTLE: It's okay if you use a little magic here and there.

RISKY: ...heh. Thanks. You're a good friend, Rattle, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[With a smile, RISKY leaves, and RATTLE goes back to his work.]

~~~~

[RISKY is walking around, surveying the area, when she spots 'POD some distance away.]

RISKY: Ugh, FINALLY!

[She walks over, catching 'POD's attention.]

RISKY: Are you a local around here?

'POD: Sure am! The name's 'Pod!

RISKY: 'Pod?

'POD: Well, it's actually Cephalo Pod, but doesn't 'Pod sound cooler?

RISKY: Well, I'm not one to judge names. Getting to business: I'm looking for a Simmer Stone. Do you know where it is?

'POD: Oh, that thing? It's in the Cackle Mound, where all the Shriekers are. Man, those guys are LOUD.

RISKY: Hmm...sounds like a tricky infiltration. I'm going to have to do some scouting.

RISKY: You've done some great work for justice today, 'Pod. Take care.

[RISKY starts to walk away, only for 'POD to let out a shout.]

'POD: WAIT! Hang on, I got an idea!

RISKY: Oh, for-...breathe, Risky, breathe...what is it?

'POD: I could totally get you in there!

RISKY: ...with your teleportation?

'POD: Pffft, nah! I can't teleport at all! I'm really good at picking locks, though.

'POD: But! I got one condition! You have to play a game with me!

RISKY: ...look. 'Pod, was it? I'm trying to be cordial here, but let me be perfectly clear.

RISKY: There is a PIRATE on the loose, trying to create an engine so destructive it can be used for a SUPERWEAPON.

RISKY: If I slip up here, than any number of crooks on the black market could have their one-way ticket to terrorize Sequin Land.

RISKY: So, needless to say, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES!

'POD: ...oh...

RISKY: Now, if that's all, I'll be heading out. Good day.

[With a "hmph," RISKY begins to walk again, only to pause on her own as 'POD sighs and starts talking to himself.]

'POD: Dang it...I thought it'd be this time for sure! Guess it's back to waiting.

'POD: Sigh...stupid no-teleport tentacles...always ruin everything.

['POD starts to walk away. RISKY stands there, weighing her options, before sighing and turning around.]

RISKY: ...How long is this game supposed to be?

'POD: Huh? OH! Not long at all! Like, ten minutes, tops!

RISKY: Ten minutes could save me twenty scouting...alright, I'll play.

'POD: YES! Thank you! Do you know how hard it is to get people interested in this sort of thing? Here, I'll get you some cards!

['POD starts to walk off again, more jovial, but RISKY calls out to him before he goes off-screen]

RISKY: Hold on! I...want to apologize, for earlier. That outburst was uncalled for. It's just-I'm just under a lot of stress, okay?

'POD: Ah, water under the bridge! I'm no hero expert, but it sounds like you got a lot on your plate. Gotta be a ton of pressure, there.

'POD: If anything, I'm just glad I can relieve it a little, heh!

RISKY: You know, when this is over, I ought to introduce you to Rattle. I get the feeling you'd have a lot in common.

'POD: No idea who that is, but that sounds like a compliment, so thanks!

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 120 - Eye Contact

A cold and well-cleaned room, sterile metal tables that overflow with a gentle trickle of blood. The hearts that beat upon them spasm and spurt without any sort of rhythm, and were they to stand still for but a moment, it might become clear just how wrong they are in their construction. - Statement of Elias Bouchard

So when I first listened to this episode, I didn't realise that the statements referenced here are SPECIFICALLY those and ONLY those that Jon took himself. I also didn't remember what some of the references actually referred to. So I'm probably going to be spending this entire relisten going "Oh, that was THAT statement", starting with this bit, being clearly in reference to "Anatomy Class" (episode 34).

The doctor cannot bring himself to look at the tables, so instead, looks to the Archivist, whose eye watches him, and cannot close.

"Eye" singular sooo ... does dream!Jon appear as a cyclops? But no, I'm imagining him more as a three-eyed being. Two eyes closed in sleep, one Eye eternally open to watch.

Desperate, he tries to throw the apple at his observer, but it is too late. The doctor has forgotten how the elbows work, and wrenches it to the side with a sickening crack. He tries again to scream, but he hasn’t got the throat right, and the wheezing, half-choked gurgle that escapes would stir pity in the Archivist, if he had not heard it so many times before.

It's kind of fascinating to me that the doctor's nightmares focus not so much on the idea of inhuman strangers pretending to be human but on HIMSELF forgetting how to human. To be honest, that IS actually scarier, but not what I expected, exactly, given the origin of his nightmare.

He turns to see the familiar screen, the familiar woman beneath it. She looks up at him with an expression of recognition and weary dread. She types and types and types, her fingers a blur, flying across the keyboard, and yet never fast enough to outrun the relentless words that flow like dark water across the screen that stretches off into the sky.

Episode 65: Binary

He passes those places he can no longer watch – the silent wards of peeling skin, the empty warehouse of thick darkness and frightened children, the rusted train car that smells of eager, infectious hate.

Okay, so this one gave me trouble, so I ended up checking the Wiki to figure it out. The silent wards of peeling skin is Melanie's statement about the hospital. The empty warehouse of thick darkness and frightened children is Basira's statement about Rayner. The rusted train car is, once again, Melanie's statement. Why can he no longer access these? Basira and Melanie are both still alive, after all. Is it because they're being "protected" by their own Entities? But...

The rain is still there, though it is empty. The long and desolate road, slick with the downpour; a police car’s lights flashing over the unmoving van. The doors are open, and the too-familiar statues stand either side of the well-worn wooden box.

Daisy is about as Hunt as Hunt can be and has been for a long time, so why can he get to her nightmare just fine? So I don't get why Melanie's and Basira's nightmares aren't watchable.

Here he sees the train, twisted and pressed in on all sides, nothing but shrieking metal and cracked glass. He climbs inside, and takes his seat, mouth tasting of mud and soil, his eyes moving through the dust and grit unblinking.

Episode 71: Underground

He catches a glimpse of an advert above his seat: “Dig.”

"Dig" wasn't actually a statement taken by Jon, but then this nightmare is of the Buried, so it makes sense for it to be here anyway.

There is a door in front of him. A yellow door. He knows the dream it used to lead to; he knows it well. But that’s not where it leads anymore. He does not know what is behind it anymore, and he is deathly afraid of finding out.

This used to be Helen's nightmare, but of course Helen is now melded into the Distortion so yeah, going through that door would be one MESS of an experience.

The Archivist turns away. Behind him are the ants. They move like a terrible rolling wave along the hard-packed ground, and he can see every twitching antenna, every clenching mandible. Somewhere, underneath that twitching, burrowing mass, is the exterminator.

Episode 55: Pest Control

Before him rises an incinerator door, the glowing light of the flames curling around the cracks. With a wailing shriek, the door opens, and the burning silhouette that stands within is ingrained upon the Archivist’s racing mind. They smoke and sizzle, but still the worms crawl through her charred and pockmarked flesh, her now-singed red dress shifting with the movement beneath it.

Okay, this is interesting 'cause Jon is still in Jordan Kennedy's nightmare, but given how traumatised Jon was by Jane Prentiss, this may as well be his own. And his reaction to it as recounted by Elias actually does make it sound like this is one of the hardest dreams to watch because it hits so close to home.

When faced with her, he even longs for the terrible dream of the melted woman, who would see everything desolated without rhyme or reason. But she was beyond his reach the moment she knew he was there, so the Archivist can only stand and stare, as the hive goes about its infested, long-dead work.

Jude Perry (who somehow fucked off out of Beholding's reach)

The dark building is newer, but he knows it well; knows the two lost souls who creep through it with an alert hunger on their faces. He recognizes that look from the other hunter, whose dreams he has watched for so long. They stalk the darkness itself, and hope to catch and kill it before it can do the same to them. They see him watching, but they cannot catch his scent.

And this one is Julia and Trevor's nightmare.

At last, he is in the moonlit graveyard – the oldest of the dreams. It is peaceful, cool and damp, as the rolling, boggy fields stretch out in all directions. He hears her calling pathetically from the bottom of the graves, but by now he knows there is nothing he can do but stare. She begs to be released, to dream of this place no more, but there is nothing he can do.

And this is Episode 13: Alone.

Another dissection room, another figure standing in its centre – but this one is calm. She simply looks at him sadly, a pity in her face that burns him worse than any flame. More than anything, the Archivist wants to look away, to turn his eye from her gentle sadness, from the disappointment in what she sees in him.

Is this Georgie, then, who is beyond the reach of fear, even when she is still being watched?

Elias: Hello, Inspector. Martin. I’m, uh, sorry to hear about Tim

Until this point I was still hoping that Tim had somehow survived, despite the fact that the narrative was HEAVILY signposting that he wouldn't for multiple episodes.

Martin: You didn’t just see it in me? Elias: Honestly, I didn’t look. For all my power, I will admit I am not immune to making the occasional lazy assumption.

People keep making this mistake with Martin, don't they?

Peter: Oh, and if you want to talk to a counselor, the Institute will of course cover any cost.

Okay, but like, why exactly is the embodiment of isolating-yourself-and-never-talking-to-anyone-about-anything suggesting counselling? Is this something along the lines of ... making sure Martin doesn't actually talk to his friends and colleagues thing? Giving him an impersonal outlet that won't create the same sort of connection?

My impression of this episode

So I spent most of the first listen AND the relisten trying to figure out which reference goes with which statement, but actually, looking past the "spot the reference" game, this episode is very well written and when you let the horror of it sink in, it's really rather - well - horrific: all these people, endlessly relieving their trauma every night, including Jon who's being forced to watch and cannot look away. Where the overall plot is concerned: I did not imagine Martin getting Elias arrested or Peter Lukas becoming the new head of the Institute - at all. It is a pretty lovely set-up for the next season.

[gumnut-logic]

Worth the Purple

I’m just going to dump this here and walk away. Quality is questionable as I’ve been mostly asleep while writing it. Happy Birfday, Johnny. Sorry it is a day late, I can only sleep type so much, eventually the brain collapses and refuses to function.

I hope you enjoy this anyway.

-o-o-o-

It was late and the sun had long gone down. The villa was quiet. Scott had wandered off to bed early. It had only taken a glare from Virgil to instigate his movement.

The words he had with his eldest brother earlier in the day were obviously taken to heart. Either that or the threat of calling in Grandma if he didn’t get himself some decent sleep had the effect Virgil desired. It didn’t really matter as long as Scott managed some shuteye.

His eldest brother needed management otherwise he’d work himself into an early grave.

Gordon had used his leverage as the injured brother to corner Alan into watching Buddy and Ellie with him after dinner.

Virgil attended to the situation before it became explosive.

Alan was ushered off with a video game and a plead from Virgil to go take a shower before his clothes gained sentience.

Alan’s remarked that John’s discarded trash gained sentience and it had worked well for his brother so, it might not be a bad thing.

The fact the video game in his hand let out a god-awful squawk and died after that statement was probably something Virgil, or at least John should investigate, but as it would probably teach Alan a valuable lesson in keeping his mouth shut, Virgil was willing to let it go for a little while at least.

He doubted Eos would do too much serious damage.

Gordon still had his feet up in their home theatre stuffing his face with popcorn and cheesewhiz.

Consequently, there were large portions of both all over the floor, the seat, his fish brother’s clothing, and the sling wrapped around his left arm.

A comment on Virgil’s behalf about vermin attracting vermin was received with a snort.

Gordon’s distracted answer was that there were no rats on Tracy Island and for the other creatures available, he was helping to keep the ecosystem running.

Virgil commented that he was pretty sure his brother might be capable of encouraging new types of mould.

Gordon told him to go be tidy somewhere else where he wasn’t interrupting a search for the giant cyclops.

Virgil rolled his eyes, checked his brother’s bandages and his vitals -mostly just to annoy him - and left him to it. After all, he had better things to do than tackle lost causes.

He ran into Grandma in the hallway and they swapped family reconnaissance. He knew Kayo was in Brazil for the night, but he hadn’t seen Brains for most of the day. Grandma reported that he had been fed and watered and had possibly developed a new polymer that could be used in the scuff pads on their uniform to help prevent what happened to Gordon from happening again.

It was no surprise. When technology failed, Brains got angry and solutions were the result.

Sometimes several.

Hell, that was how his exosuit was born.

Brains had been so angry that by the time Virgil made it out of hospital, there were five exosuits ready for testing.

Brains saw mechanical failure as personal failure and acted accordingly.

Gordon’s injury was small on the Tracy Scale, but the thirteen stitches in his arm were enough to ignite the genius engineer into a minor inventing fury at least.

Grandma’s hand on his arm squeezed just gently before she drew Virgil into a hug goodnight. He returned her embrace, as always so surprised at just how small his grandmother was, yet so strong.

Letting her go, he headed down to the comms room to chase up the one remaining human occupant of the Island.

John had been missing all evening and while that wasn’t unusual, Virgil felt the need to check on him before bed…otherwise he would be left wondering.

Wondering was never good for sleep.

He had his suspicions of where his star brother might be, so when he found the comms room empty, he wasn’t surprised. A step out onto the balcony and the second most likely place to find John also proved fruitless as the pool glistened in the starlight amongst the empty loungers.

Virgil looked up at the sky. It was a still night. Only the ocean lapping against the Island interrupted the silence. There was no breeze, no rustling of palm or pokey trees. The occasional bat chattered and a disturbed bird muttered, but it was eerily still for their exposed position in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

But the stars told him where to find his brother.

-o-o-o-

It was ever so silent as he made his way up the side of Tracy Peak. The steps he and John had carved into the volcanic rock did their job beautifully, though Virgil would admit that there was no way he would want to do this in bare feet.

That and it was dark despite the subdued lighting. He shone a hand-held torch on the stairs and tried not to kill himself on the steep climb.

He had begged his brother to light the steep ascent, and it had taken some persuasion even to allow the dim red lights that barely outlined the way. Light pollution was a thing and John was a little protective of his midnight vista.

Virgil always made a point of carrying his own torch for a touch of extra safety. After all, it would be really stupid for one of the famed Thunderbirds to kill themselves tripping on stairs in the dark.

As he neared the top of the steps, he lowered his light and shielded it as to not to betray his approach. It was likely John already knew he was there, but there was no reason to disturb his night vision more than necessary.

The observatory was little more than a rock platform high up on Tracy Peak. It sat at a natural lookout point and during the day you could see for miles.

At night it was just shadows and starlit ocean.

It was a good, few metres across and they had used some of the stone they had carved out of the mountainside for the stairs to build a balustrade around the platform’s edge and put in some very basic seating.

John had since added to it with a weatherproof cabinet and storage space for one of his telescopes and there was some technology up here as well.

But they had never built a shelter. John preferred to keep the sky as open as possible and be able to see as much as he could.

And tonight was just spectacular.

Virgil stood a few steps down and killed off his torch, allowing his eyes to adjust fully.

John was talking.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not listen to Gordon?”

“It would help if you hadn’t told me an equal amount of times that I should listen to Gordon. I do believe one of your threats was to ‘swap my processors with a pocket calculator’.” Eos’ voice issued from John’s tablet most perturbed.

His brother sighed. “It is situational. You know that. Gordon acting as an International Rescue operative is far distant from Gordon acting as the brother from hell.”

“And how am I to decipher the difference?”

“The bottle of purple dye and the fact he was requesting entrance to my personal quarters rather than docking with Thunderbird Five should have been a clue.”

“I fail to see how I could possibly have predicted the use of the dioxazine.”

“Then hopefully you have learnt from my suffering.”

“Noted.” There was a pause and Virgil opened his mouth to interrupt. “Should I electrocute Virgil who is currently on approach?”

“What?! No!”

John spun in the shadows and the sparkle of his eyes sought him out in the dark. “Virgil?”

Virgil bit his lip and unshielded his torch a little. “Parenting troubles?”

“Brotherly troubles. An injured and bored Gordon is a menace.”

“You mentioned dye? Shower rose?”

John’s grunt was the only confirmation he needed.

Virgil considered himself to be a nice guy and really, other than revenge, he would never suffer a brother the curse of dye in their shower rose. But he was still a brother and as a brother, a loving brother at that, he couldn’t help but raise the torch in his hand a little to illuminate his younger sibling.

John squirmed under the bright light and Virgil only flashed it up long enough to catch a glimpse of the purple patchwork of his little brother’s hair.

He had to bite back hard not to burst out laughing.  The almost pyrrole orange of John’s hair actually worked quite well with the vivid purple streaks all through it.

Once Gordon was recovered all hell was going to break loose.

It was never wise to piss off John.

“Did he give you a reason why?”

“Did you have to do that?” The astronaut rubbed his eyes.

“Yes.”

Well, he wasn’t going to lie.

John huffed. “Does he need a reason?”

“No, I suppose not.” A sigh. “You got a plan?”

“Not one I’m willing to tell anyone.”

“You don’t trust me?”

John snorted. “It is situational.”

“Gee, thanks.” Though John did have a point. He let out a sigh and killed off the torch. “Do me a favour and wait until I’m off the Island. Better yet wait until Scott is away as well. He doesn’t need it and I don’t want to listen to it.”

“FAB.”

There was definitely a smirk in that voice.

But Virgil hadn’t come up here to plot revenge on the Fish. He had come up here to check on his space brother who had kindly come down from on high to assist while Gordon was off rota.

Virgil straightened and settled his shoulders. “How are you, John?”

“Apart from purple spotted?”

“Apart from purple spotted.”

“I’m good.” John took a step away and looked out over the ocean so far down below. “Settling in. It’s a good opportunity to refresh a few skills I haven’t used in a while.” He looked over at Virgil. “And I’m getting to spend some quality time with you guys.”

A snort. “And paying the price.”

“And paying the price.” He looked back over the water again and Virgil followed his gaze. The night was moonless at the moment and, in the middle of the Pacific, the sky was an ocean of stars.

“Spotting some old favourites?” Virgil knew his brother could see far more from Five than he ever could here, but there was something special about this place.

“Yeah. Eos had some questions and I wanted to show her the difference between space-based star study and Earth-based star gazing.”

“A little daddy-daughter time?” That earned him an exasperated grunt.

“You could put it that way.” But his brother sighed. “I’m not sure I’m communicating the entire concept.”

“You said it felt like home.” Eos’ voice was tentative.

Virgil blinked.

“I did.”

“But home is on Thunderbird Five.”

John turned to look at Virgil. “Yes and no.”

“That is not a viable response. Further explanation is required.”

“Home is where the heart is.”

“Are you intending that anatomically or metaphorically?”

“The latter. My home is where my loved ones are. Which is why my home is both here and on Thunderbird Five.”

“You love the stars?”

“I love my family.”

Virgil was staring at his brother. John’s expression was somewhat hidden in the darkness, but the emotion in his words was clear.

There was a pause before Eos replied. “So that would make Thunderbird Five your family’s home as well when you are aboard.”

“Partially, perhaps. Though they would have less attachment to the station than I do.”

“Less attachment to me?”

“No, you are not Thunderbird Five.”

“Then Thunderbird Five is my home.”

“Yes.”

“But only when you are here.”

Virgil found himself holding his breath.

“That depends on your feelings, Eos.” John’s voice was quiet.

There was silence after that. The AI left them hanging. Whether it was from indecision on her part or a decision she didn’t want to or hadn’t thought to share.

“She is amazing.” The words slipped from Virgil’s mouth without thought. Perhaps it was the setting with the world beneath and the universe above. Perhaps it was just hearing a simple truth uttered by his usually very private brother.

Or maybe it was just the distance that usually separated John from Virgil that made sharing a moment like this so difficult.

“Yes, she is.” It was almost whispered, but Virgil could hear the smile behind it.

He reached out and wrapped his fingers around his brother’s bicep. “It’s good to have you down with us, John.”

“I’m happy to be here.” A grunt. “Despite the gravity.”

“Worth the purple?”

It was almost a reluctant whine. “Worth the purple.”

Virgil grinned and squeezed his brother’s arm. Gordon was walking toast.

“Are you going to be long?”

That earned him a glare. “I can stay up past my bedtime.”

“Hey, I’m just concerned for your health. You don’t want to push it. You’ve only been down a few days.”

“I know the procedure, Virgil.”

“I’m just saying. Better me than Grandma.”

That earned him another grunt. “You may have a point.”

“I know I have a point, so don’t stay up here too long.”

John opened his mouth, but he paused and shut it again before turning away and walking over to the telescope that had been ignored the entire time Virgil had been up here.

“I’ll be down shortly.” It was said begrudgingly.

Virgil took his cue and aiming his torch at the stairs, flicked it on and started heading down.

“John?” Eos whispered his brother’s name.

“Yes, Eos?”

“Am I worth the purple?”

Virgil kept making his way down the stairs and he didn’t hear his brother’s response.

But he smiled anyway.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[popculturebuffet]

New X-Men Xtrospective Part 3: Imperial (NXM #121-126)

To me all you happy people! And welcome back to my X-Citing look at Morrison’s Masterwork on Marvel’s Merry Mutants!  Part One is HERE, Part Two is HERE if you feel like it. 

If not... to catch you up on last time....

All Caught up? Good. Join me under the cut as our heroes head into this old woman’s hedd to see what’s wrong and fight off an alien army while horribly ill. 

Silent, Psychic Rescue in Process:

So we pick up not long after we left off: Thanks to Beast waking up from his bat induced coma, the X-Men now know Charles is trapped in Cassandra’s body and she pulled a Freaky Friday on him, with marginally less bullets. 

And thus we get this issue. This one was part of Nuff Said, an incredibly clever theme month by Marvel and one I wish they’d try and do again at some point in some form. 

The gimmick was simple but amazing: Every issue would be mostly silent, with at most some dialouge at the start and finish to bookend it. So far i’ve only read two issues of this, this one and the X-Statix one, but it is a genuinely great idea. I do think forcing it on the entire line was a bit much, but as I said I do wish they’d do this again just make it optional: have some books opt in or do some annuals with the theme. It’s just a fun break from the usual and with this issue resulted in one of the best single issues of x-men period. 

Naturally given the name, which is cleverly displayed on a sign the x-men have because of course they do, it’s exaclty that: Emma and Jean after readying themselves (Jean kisses Scott goodbye and Emma downs a bottle of jack because why not do an alchol before doing delecate mental surgery), head in. 

Inside they find horrific old lady head doors, stone ol dlady heads around a tower that shoot lasers, and said doors also bite and puke weird goop because it’s Grant Morrison. This is his chance to just go full balls out weird.. and given last time involved skin flake golemns.. and this isn’t even the weirdest he’s done. As mentioned last time he once had a supervillian run for president using a super LSD Bike that made everyone high. 

And just to prove he can reach that level of weirndess we find charles alone, naked and with an overenlarged brain.. before he transitions Jean to a field of sperm. 

Yeah... but this DOES have a point.. as it turns out it’s a meaphorical transition into his gestation as a baby.. and how he had a twin. Yeah turns out Cassandra was not lying he did try to kill her.. but as you can probably tell by the fact she’s a genocidal sociopath, she lied by omission to screw with Hank: In the womb she tried strangling Charles to death with his own umbilical cord..only for him to use baby’s first psonic blast to send her reeling and his mom tumbling down the stairs and well.. you can probably guess the rest. Yeah.. Cassandra’s entire origin story is concentrated 

And I love it. The sheer audacity is nice and everything but what makes it really work for me is the simple concept: An evil version of charles, one almost born at the same time whose every bit as evil as he is good.. granted there’s a TON of Morally Grey in Charles Xavier ESPECIALLY post decimation and even more so now with Krakoa. But he’s sitll at his heart a well meaning person, while Cassandra at her heart is a racist genocidal nightmare. She is pure evil, with enough personality to not make her boring.. and more importanlty all the power charles has but NONE of his restraint. Part of what makes Charles noble is he only uses his powers when necessary. Cassandra.. has no such restraint and will happily mentally snap necks all day. 

So with this our heroine’s leave and we end on the iconic line “Professor Xavier killed his twin sister in the womb. We Really ought to talk. 

This issue is an utter classic. It finally explains Cassandra a bit while still leaving a ton of questions, Frank Quitely is at his best here, and he and morrison are incrediby good at non verbal storyteling. The result is surreal, unsettling and awesome. Check it out. Seriously seek this one out it’s worth the trip. It’s so famous it was homaged with a spirtual sequel in the recent Giant Size X-Men one shots. It’s excellent stuff

Imperial:

So with our first issue we open with things going terrible on that flag ship Cassandra took off on with Lilandra, empress of the Shiar and Xavier’s space wife. She’s revealed herself, is ravaging the ship and mind rapes a the helmsman into crashing it, so with no other options Lilandra sends Smasher, not the one from the avengers run earlier version, to earth to send a warning to the X-Men. 

At the School things are actually going well for a second. In an intresting move the school is changing things up with no officla timetable.. which I think means there’s no rigid class schedule and you can just do them as you please or as necessary for your power. The plan’s the same, they just want to learn from each other in building mutant society and the future. It’s ideas like this that are the bedrock of the current run and were sadly never fully realized here.. but I don’t blame this run for that. Morrison had 2-3 years and it was cut short early, leading to a rather disapointing ending we’ll get to. They never had a chance to really dig in because they were kicked out by morons and then their whole grand design was undone until Hickman un-undid it in 2019. And even then some of this like the idea of mutant culture and what not hasn’t been picked up on yet. I do mean YET, as given the sheer NUMBER of x books touching on all sorts of subjects, it’s only a matter of if not when. 

As for who’s behind this it’s a combination of Jean and Charles: Jean is using charles notes and is going at full tilt. Scott is concerned though.. both about her since she went Phoenix and Logan told him about it and because these plans may alarm the humans. ON the former Jean just brushes him off which is not right.. given what happened with the phoenix force copy of jean, which granted had her personality, memories and powers and Jean later got a set of her memories so it might as well of been and only MAYBE the genocide is something Jean wouldn’t of done under the same circumstances, he’s understandably concerned. He lost her to it last time and it did weird shit to poor Rachel, who hif you don’t know is their daughter from an alternate timeline... because the Summer’s family tree is a WAKING NIGHTMARE. Thankfully I don’t have to untangle it because there’s a handy chart right here to do it for me that was recently released in X-Men Legends, a new series featuring legendary x creators telling stories in the cracks... and given we’re getitng storys by the simosons and peter motherfucking david, yeah good stuff.

And why yes there are more than one clone in this tree and several alternate timelines. , not to mention several clones and a sexy cat lady, it’s complicated is understnading it and i’m not sure what properly states it honestly. Also if your wondering about Adam there he’s the genetic son of Cyclops mom and the ma Shiar empreror who killed her for not sleeping with him through. Again it’s complicate REALLY feels like understatement. 

Point is he DOES have a right to be worried about the thing that lead to her being cocooned for a while and left their daughter in the future at the time of this... just in case you needed a reminder after that wonderful clusterfuck of a chart up above athe x-men are really fucking weird. 

So Jean brushing that off is not okay. She does however call him out on the second one and rightfully so: This isn’t some dominate the humans manifesto: this is simply changing the course of the future and how they teach their students to create a better one instead of adhering to human norms to try and appease “the republicans’, as jean puts it.. which has only gotten MORE RELEVANT, 20 years on: Attempts to appease the norms of society and things “just because that’s how it’s been” have never been a good thing. It’s why the very writer of this comic took several decades to properly identify themselves as non binary because people were too stuck int heir ways to try and see if there really were just two genders. Fighting against the grain, finding new ways to express things that have always been there... it’s what humanity needs to do and certainly what comes after us would need to do. i’ts how we get better as a race. If something’s not working we change it, quickly or slowly. And given Scott’s huge amount of emotoinal repression lately.. I can see why she’d see the former complaint as just him being a dick as opposed to the genuine concern it is. 

Short Version: Jean Grey is fucking awesome and while he’d be the last to write her for decades, no one did it better than Grant and no one has since.  Hopefully Gerry Duggan can clear that bar. 

After this fight we get a fuller verson of what happened both at the end of issue 120 and in the big reveal last issue: Turns out Hank awoke because Charles piloted his body like a truck and needed it revealed fast. Hank’s regained control of his body and facilities by now, but in a twist of irony he helpfully points out, had Cassandra not gone a needlessly cruel and sociopathic tangent and had Beak beat Beast into a coma, Charles wouldn’t of had a body. 

As for Charles in cass’ body he’s now in a tub of goo created by it. 

It acts as a shield as well as melding him with Cerebra so he can talk to jean telepathically as his thoughts are very weak.

Thanks to this and her psychic Jaunt, Jean now knows just what the hell cassandra is: She really is Charles twin sister. As for how the hell she surivied outside of the womb and how Charles never knew, she created herself a clone body using his cells and didn’t fully manifest till now. And while she has plenty of intellegence, at an emotional level she’s fully convinced, much like an infant that only she and charles are real and thus destroying him means gaining domance over her world. So in short she’s both utterly insane and now has an interstellar empire at her fingertips. 

And the news SOMEHOW get sworse: She booby trapped her body and charles only has days before he’s vegatable, having put every psychological disease possible in there, and she’s probably responsible for their colds and the u-men. So in short their pretty scrwed but at the very least Charles plans to try to flip things, use the fact their now public (a clear tactic to weaken them) to share his manefesto, his last will and testiment if you would. 

Scott meanwhile figures since their sick a healer might be a good idea and goes solo to fetch Xorn... who just sorta disappeared after the annual and didn’t return till his arc. 

We get an utterly touching scene after this: With Logan staying on his hobbit like toes in case of another attack, Jean goes to talk to hank. Hank is still throughly traumatized from the attack, fearing Cassandra is right and he’ll just keep devlovling until he ends up in a metamoprhisis type situation. I mean it’s not ALL bad hank,.. I mean going through that guarantees a musical about you. 

But Jean reassures him: It’s okay to be afraid of her, they all are.. but as she puts it...

It’s a really powerful inspiring scene... and really afirms how well Morrison writes Jean from the previous arc onward. She’s confident, powerful.. but also caring and compassionate. Here hank’s at his lowest, disparing that this might get worse.. and she reaffirms that htis evolution is an upgrade.. he may not be the same.. but that’s okay. He’s better. It really speaks to the core message of the X-Men as a whole and why they’ve stuck around all this time: It’s not just okay your diffrent.. it’s WONDERFUL. Your wonderful for being you. Whatever meataphor you read into it, it’s at it’s core a message that no matter who hunts you or trys to shame you for what you are, they are wrong and you are wonderful. And you are not alone... your people are out there.. and they will go through hell to protect you. It’s moments like this that remind me despite the bad parts, the accidnetal transphobic metaphor last time, a subplot with Hank coming up, the affair storyline and Planet X, just.. Planet X.. this run is special to me for a reason. It has heart, character and truly gets how the x-men should work, what makes them great... while making something NEW AND FRESH from it’s bones. Pushing envelopes, chanigng things for good and shaking things the hell up after far too much stagnation. It’s just pure good comicy goodness and i’m proud to finally be talking about it after having always wanted to. 

So as we end the issue Scott grabs Xorn, whose been at a budist temple all this time, and Smasher arrives to warn earth... but his warning missed his intended target. 

Well at least he got to Hellcow’s coven.. maybe she can call in Man Eating Cow and the Chick Fill A Super Cows.. thought hey might not help. Their parent company IS pretty homophobic.. I doubt their high on mutants either. 

Testament Emma and Jean talk over things how i’ts going etc, with Emma unsuprisingly annoyed with most of the students and Jean optimsitc.

But Emma soon has bigger issues to deal with: TEEN ANGST!

Yeah 4/5 of the Cuckoos are upset Esme has a boyfriend. Their concerns in part are because without her their apparently powerless.. which given one will die and another will leave and they’ll be left with three is just factually not true, and either Morrison changed his mind later, or more likely their simply exagerating like teens do. Emma points out it’s pointless to fight this...

So... their in a domestically abusive relationship rife with sexual tension? Are you sure your not htinking of Sam and Diane, Ross and Rachel, Garfiled and Odie perhaps?

Meanwhile Angel’s sulking in a tree talking about how all the kids are stupid and she dosen’t fit in. That sort of thing. Wolverine naturally has a tactful and understandable response to this:

It’s here Angel goes from understandable, a bit hard edged and obnoxious becuase of a very rough life.. and just becomes annoying.  I do get what Grant was trying to do: he was trying to play with Wolverine’s habit of taking sassy teens under his wing by giving him a more hardscrabble one with a harder life pre-xaviers.. not that Jubilee’s was easy, but I get what he was going for.. he just dosen’t succeed. Instead of a realistic version of a teen sidekick she just comes off as an obnoxious brat whose rude to everyone including her one friend Logan and her later boyfriend.  It dosen’t help that ONCE AGAIN, Morrison flew directly into unfortunate implications without meaning to, by having the only major POC character (Bishop guest stars later and there are two significant characters during the Riot at Xaviers arc but both aren’t relevant before or after), be an abused teen with gross fly based powers and a teen pregnancy subplot. Seriously this isn’t even the LAST time Morrison shoves their foot in their mouth like this in this run. While I do like this run a lot, it’s still 20 years old and it’s still going to have a bunch of bits that have aged like harvarti left on a sidewalk, and handing out unfortnuate implications like their candy is tied for the biggest with their handling of Magneto when he finally shows up in person. It’s THAT bad a take on the character that it’s up there with accidental racisim and transphobia. 

So moving on from.. that we get Jean comforting the professor before meeting the press, giving a throughly lovely speech about how Charles got his powers 30 years ago and despite seeing the worst in humanity, used his telepathy to allow him to see past it and see deep down just how scared and alone we all felt. So she takes them into a psychic conference room and we get a very interesting exchange. 

It’s an interesting parallel to how real world disinfranchised groups, how it takes time.. but soon being a POC or LBGTQ+ goes from unrightfully perscuted to celebrated. How a group starts with hates whipsers on the fringe of things but grows to be accepted, like it always SHOULD have been. Take representation of Trans people in the media. It started with Trans people being almost entirely punchlines and sources of fucking horendous “DID DEY USED TO BE A MAN.” storylines and hurtful jabs at people who had transitioned, treating them as a sideshow instead of you know as fucking human beings. But now coming out as what you always were ont he inside is celebrated. Sure the right are dicks about it but they always will be: but most media gladly celebrates when someone comes out as trans. Same with being gay, or bi or pan or polamorus or nonbinary.  Hell I admire grant for showing i’ts not even 100% perfect once you are popular: you still have to grapple both with people wanting to copot your culture and those who still don’t understand you trying to speak for you. 

She also gets the standard question calling the X-Men an army, shoots it down with the normal global peacekeeping operation stuff.. then we get this bitch. 

Who quickly realizes she’s outclassed by Emma Frost, professional that bitch. And while Jean is understandbly going to have to erase that.. I can’t blame her for snapping her.

Just to tear this shit down.: The privacy thing is not something she’s doing. All she’s doing is spcyhic teleconfrencing, you harpy. They fight greek gods and monsters to protect your sorry ass and the last one.. just makes me absolutely livid and feels so much like a real world comment i’m suprised there isn’t a fox news logo next to her bigoted head. 

Trouble follows them everywhere they go.. because their mutants. They can’t help it. A LOT of shit like the demons, aliens, and gods and what not, I do not know if they actually did fight the greek gods but i’m not going to say for sure they did not, the norse gods defintely, not sure on greek. But the point is allt his stuff HAPPENS TO THEM half the time, or is a consequence of trying to PROTECT PEOPLE. I’m so nettled by this because this is how the marvel unvierse acts all the fucking time towards ALL super powered peoples. Mutants esepcailly but they blame the heroes and what not for being chased and harassed by guys in costumes or alien invasions or all the stuff they FIGHT. Sure sometimes they caused it but it’s either because of a monsterous person with a grudge or just because their powerful and some douche took an intrest. I’m just.. so fucking tired of asshole civlians in comics. It’s realisitc I know but it’s just hard to stomach after so many have turned their back on so many for such DUMB reasons. 

Jean recovers well pointing out the genocide and how 16 million people, 16 million possible einsteinss or mozarts are just GONE, and that their trying to focus on the future. She also brings up autistic savants who can talk to atoms and while I don’t like the use of the savant thing, as it brings to mind stuff like rainman I very badly want to see this autistic kid who can talk to atoms as someone on the spectrum myself. Also I just want the crew of HIckma’ns books in general to pour over this because there are a lot of intresting powers and personalities only MENTIONED we never saw proper that could be great characters. Just saying. 

Jean cocludes her speech to the world, including Logan whose wisely getting hammered at anearbye bar.. while Hank finds out what’s going on with their sickness.. nanonscopic sentnels in the blood. 

But while the press confrence ends well with Jean having won over the press.. things go sideways as not only is it clear Esme’s boyfriend is in fact something sinister.. but Jean falls over due to the nano snetinels, and senses Scott being taken in tibet, taken down by a group of the Shiar’s imperial guard.. picutre the legion of superheroes but blindly loyal to the goverment and far more likely to get killed. And the rest are preparing to attacking including Gladiator who if you don’t know him, has all the powers of superman as long as he retains his confidence. 

And it turns out Esme’s boyfriend is an advanced Scout, the shapeshifting amoeba blob thing Stuff, a new addition by morrison and good on him. And the Imperial Guard are here but with one goal

 Superdestroyer

On the Ship we find out both wha’ts going on with Scott and Xorn, they’ve been taken and why the shiar are attempting mutant genocide: Cassandra is puppeting ALL of them, has convinced them the mutants are infected and since Lilandra is a puppet, Scott’s words fall on deaf ears. 

Meanwhile Wolverine ambushes one of the squads, kiling one named Dinosaurer via claw to the brain, while Emma has had a dome thing put over her head and isn’t transforming into diamond to counter it because...

But the Cuckoos fight back, taking out oracle before easily handling stuff since his brain is fairly simple.. and given he’s racist against solid people and unlike the others reveling in the genocide just a tad.. yeah what he deserves. So now with a living weapon the Cuckoos make peace with Angel as they need all the help they can get. 

Jean ushers the press into the panic room, not happy about it but not having anothe roption for their saftey. Hank tells her to self distruct crebra if cassandra get sclose and goes off to join the fight and let off some steam over the situation. Hank easily routes two of them, and one , Manta tries to just fly right ot jtean wince their TK proof. How does that go?

Jean gets to saftey after that, not that she needs it and hank is quickly taken down by a batch of Superguardians.. only for Wolverine to arrive in the Sknitt of time and chop them up.. oh and as one of the puts it...

Bad. Ass. I also like the addition of the flight patch, a nod to the Legion, who the Imperial Guard were based on as those kids used flight rings. 

But while Logan and Hank easily tag team these assholes...

The SHiar call in the big guns.. Gladiator.. and I wasn’t kidding abotu the superman thing. While Logan TRIES to talk him out of it, the murders only confirm Cassandra’s bullshit and Gladiator breaks into the panic room throwing hank and wolverin’e before them having utterly decimated them off panel. I mean Wolvie is a badass.. but even he has limits. I also like recontecullizing the guard as a whole here.. showing just how TERRIFYING they SHOULD be as enimies to the x-men. Yes our heroes did win.. but barely and only till Gladiator showed up. In most cases thier clearly holding back out of affection but here hteir just at errifying unstoppable force, and also apparently used to doing genocides like this. It takes what was a cheesy shout out to David Cockrums other big artistic work, and makes it horrifying and it is AWESOME. I admit to not having liked this arc as much for the longest time but this reread, the sheer teror and hopleessness as an interstellar superman easily cuts through our mighty mutants like tissue... it’s awesome. 

Thankfully one of the Guard found smasher.. and thus the truth comes out so our heroes are given a stay of execution with Gladiator clearly horrified at what he almost did and our heroes now so sick they can barely move and Hank can’t think them out of this. 

Thankfully he dosen’t has to as back in space, Cyclops tires of it and points out something Xorn, not being as experinced nor having delt with the guard ahd thought of: G-Type, the glowly guy about to execute them, is made of solar energy.. and xorn can manipulate that thanks to his star brain. He does, they take out the rest.. and prepare to go save the day.

Losers: PIcking up shortly before where we left off we see Cassandra murder Lilandra’s advisor who figured out what she was just as our heroes escape.. and as Cassandra is having Lilnadra order all of the shiar ships to immolate themselves. 

WIth Lilandra not being any use, Cass tries to psychically force her to commit sucidie but jumping off a space ledge but Xorn saves her. Cass tries another turn at mentally breaking an x-man, pointing out all scott’s recent flaws, his increased repression his faling marriage and while it gets him to stop it dosen’t quite work as well as it did on hank, likely because at his heart Hank is simply a more emotive person. Though his REAL reason for stalling is he can’t kill charles.. which he muses just as the ship blows up real good. 

Meanwhile back at Campus the kids initaiate their plan, having Angel break in and take a dna sample. She also finds beak naked in a tank and decides eh why not and brings him with her. This ends up paying off as Beak suggests the obvious to get emma free.. just force the space guy they have over in the corner to do it. They do and it works

Back in the mansion our heroes prepare for Casssandra... but Jean and Logan object to saving her body, pointing out that getting hank to repair it is exactly what she wants, and that Jean feels she can save charles without uit, with Hank being understandably doubtful given their current condition.. but Jean’s real plan is to put charles in her head and it’s already too far in actoin to stop now: she’s been saving his memories as they flaked off and if she dosen’t do this now there will be no charles left. 

Hank evacuates the civlians to teh danger room, and has an encounter with trish who tries to apologize and get him back.. only for him to rightfully regjecter her..a and then goes a step further by capping it off with:

Yeah on it’s own it’s not TERRIBLE. Still very dated to claim your gay just to spite someone, but for the time it was acceptable and compared to some of Morrison’s other gaffes in the run it’s minor at best. But it leads into a rather annoying subplot we’ll naturally get to that’s a much bigger issue, so i’ll save talking about it in full for when it comes up again. 

Jean manages to shove Chuck into her head, but is naturally leaking a bit and barely holding it or him together and may of overestimated herself just a tad.. while on the lawn Cassandra easily takes out the guards. That said the scene of Jean taking Chuck into her head is REALLY damn awesome. Jean is the arc MVP by a mile and Hank is pretty dang good competition. 

All Hell: We open the final issue of the arc with Scott and Xorn escaping the spaceship using some teleport tubes taking Arakai and Lilandra with them. 

We open with Cassadra utterly humilating gladiator while the kid team prepares to fight her despite you know, the 8 billion to 1 odds against them. 

Jean, despite hte discknes and trying to keep an old man in her brain marches out , prepared to fight, for the kids sake. For the world’s sake. But Logan’s easily taken out and with Jean barely holding it together.. the kids prepare to fight.. likely being slaughtered even if they mean well.. onlyf or help to finally arrive with Scott and Xorn glowy porting in. We get a really sweet , short moment with scott and jean...

Scott not knowing the situation tries to have Xorn heal charles first but since Cassandra’s body is dead and unoccupied that’s a no go.. he’s still usefult hough, curing Jean of her nanosentital sickness and moving on to Scott and Hank while there’s still time. 

We find out more about cassandra: She’s a murrmadi, a bodyless parasite.. eseetinally the dark first test a person faces... she just stuck around because she was one for a telepath.. the world’s STRONGEST telepath. But really other than that part the rest just feels like stuff we alreayd heard LAST TIME, mildly repaackaged and seems enitrley like filler to pad the issue out. 

So while Jean takes cerebra, both to keep it away from Cassandra’s plans of mutant genocide and for whatever she has planned, Scott, Hank and Xorn prepare to hold the line.. and as Jean mentions.. emma’s still out in the wild. 

So we get our climactic showdown.. logan, hank and xorn veruss cassandra, with Cassandra trying to do eveyrthing she can, tear them down mentally, throw out the students with our heroes fighting back best they can. It’s good stuff.  

Eventaully Cassandra gets to Jean.. but she’s already inacted her plan, putting a piece of Xavier’s mind in EVERY mutant, and giving Cassandra one ohell ofa reason you suck speech. 

It’s an incapsulation of what i said earlier and what the runs about: alone we are weak but together.. we just might make it. More on that as we go. But thanks to Cass naturally going fo rcerberba.. she accidently restores charles and is left bodyless.

Emma finishes the fight with her own brilliant gambit, presending cassandra her body.. but it’s actually stuff , reprogrammed into a sentient brain for her to inhabit and leaving her trapped, with Charles hoping t teach the now mentally reset Cassandra.  So Cassandra is beat, the virus is stopped, and our heroes have one.. but naturally for this run.. there’s one last suprise in store. 

Charles can walk again.. and going forward will be a far more active member of the team. The team is complete, Cassandra is beaten, and the future.. is bright. 

Final Thoughts:

This arc is a mixed bag.. it has really good scenes with the first and last issues being the standouts, with the former being an utter classic with an intresting gimick and the latter being a rousing climax with tons of awesome moments, with some good mometns scattered throughout.

But that’s the arc’s issue.. it has good moments and ideas.. but they don’t quite work togehter. The idea of teh Shiar Imperial Guard nearly doing a genocide is good, but the Shiar are such flat characters.. it’s really hard to care. They just don’t have enough connection to the x-men to really have the betryal sting but aren’t callous enough for genocide protocols to maeks sense. It’s a good idea, I still support it being terrifying.. but not enough is done with it and it feels liek Grant is more concerned with throwing weirdos at the x-men than actually saying something. 

The biggest issue however is the art. While inconsitant art is an issue as they’d rotate artists.. but in previous arcs it was usually pretty evenly split but here it’s sloppy: Quitely does the first issue, van Sciver the second.. and the worst of the three Igor Kordey does most of the art. I gave him the beinfit of the doubt last time.. but this time not so much. His art is muddy and tries to be stylized but comes off confusing,ugly and not great. He’s probably a lovely guy but given he’s up against two legendary artists, his lack of style comapred to both shows badly.  And given the arc is alreayd a bit overly complicated, it makes things WORSE by giving us muddled art in a very complex storyline. The flip flopping art makes a fairly intricate story very hard to follow. It’s easily why this arc didn’t grab me in the past and even seeing some better moments, it’s not the series best. It’s not the worst either, Planet X easily takes that ground despite having far better art. It’s an incredibly muddled incredibly long feeling arc and really needed to be compressed by one or two issues but instead is just hard to get through. It’s owrth it for the rest of the runa nd the good moments within but all in all easily one of the weakest points in the series. 

Next Month on New X-Men:The X-Men soak in the new world order, and we meet fantomex, dust and the last surivivors of genosha. 

Next on this blog:Green Eggs and Ham is back!

If you enjoyed this review PLEASE join my patreon. The end of hte month is coming and I need eveyr cent I can get so join at patreon.com/popculturebuffet and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[doctorofmagic]

Ten short headcanons = go!

!!!

Oh... Uh... Okay...

1. Stephen can’t rest at night without a sleep spell because, even though there are tons of spells protecting the Sanctum, Nightmare and other demons are always trying to haunt his dreams, not to mention his own inner demons.

2. Illyana is Stephen’s daughter. She won’t admit it but he’s the only one truly concerned about her since Xavier is busy with, like, all the mutants around the world, and she can’t count on Magneto all the time. Cyclops is more like an older brother and he’s also busy with Logan and Jean and the rest of the Summers so yeah. Stephen invites her for dinner sometimes so he can secretly learn more about her life and check on her.

3. Stephen and Clea used to bring casual third parties to their relationship. Satana, Daimon, Logan, Matthew, Namor... Few were the heroes who escaped their thirst.

4. Victor and Stephen go out for movies in magic disguises so they can enjoy nerd stuff without being, you know, a cloaked fancy weirdo and a fearful armored king. VIctor canonically likes Star Trek so I’m guessing they pick pop culture movies.

5. T’Challa and Norrin are Stephen’s closest friends. They have... erm... colorful benefits. Norrin shares the same sensibility about life and the value of a soul, while T’Challa shares some perspectives about politics and social matters with Stephen.

6. Bats won’t go for walks by himself. He wants Stephen to take him, despite the fact that he’s a ghost and could do it on his own. Also he loves fetching, so Stephen allows his ghostly body to be tangible again.

7. Speaking of good bois... Bats is the reason Stephen survived depression. He’s always around when Stephen is having a meltdown.

8. Stephen hates Halloween. It’s the night Dormammu tries to invade Earth every year or some evil magic shenanigans are afoot. Also kids are always trying to break into the Sanctum so he uses illusions to scare them, which, deep down, brings him a smile.

9. Few people remember to send Stephen gifts on Christmas. But Wong never failed him. Not even once. Currently, Clea keeps sending alien flowers from other dimensions, which Stephen collects with everlasting spells. Victor sends lots, I mean, LOTS of literature books and other treats. Wong keeps sending fashion and special seasonings so Stephen can learn how to cook on his own. Norrin collects stardust from all over the universe, a collection that is right next to Clea’s flowers. On the other hand, Stephen forgets it’s Christmas, yet he sends them gifts the next day. Very clumsy, last minute gifts. But everyone appreciates his effort.

10. Stephen’s weakest spot is his nape and hands. I don’t make the rules. (actually, since it’s a hc, I do, but...)

PS: the picture below doesn’t tell much, I just like this panel very much...

Are these enough, anon? Bold of you to think I’d write SHORT headcanons ahahaha...

[number5theboy]

The notes I took while reading the comics are under the cut. These are not my ordered thoughts, just thoughts I had while reading. I’ll write something more coherent a bit later, once my thoughts are sorted better than these

APOCALYPSE SUITE

Diego repeatedly stabbed a Caravaggio, which just personally offends me. Also @ Reginald the fact that you left a Caravaggio in reach of your KIDS, who have KNIVES, is just as insulting. Someone save that Caravaggio since anything and anyone else is beyond saving

“Inexplicable resemblance to an Ingmar Bergmann extra” askjdsgbkdsbhsd Gerard sir that is so oddly specific. Is Reginald an Ingmar Bergman fan. Is that what you’re trying to tell us. Or is Klaus just a silent movie type

Right off the bat, the comics universe is so much more interesting than the show universe. They have boxers who beat up squids like??? Give us an adaptation with the comic world, preferably animated

The kiddos were all born to “mostly single women” dsbksdgbksdgbdsg??? Did the magical alien thingamajig check their relationship status first?

“Inventor of The Televator, The Levitator, The Mobile Umbrella Communicator, and Clever Crisp Cereal” dgdsghsgdhjsdkjhg Reginald names his inventions like Dr. Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

Also the page that reveals/introduces Reginald is SO good, just the panelling and the action tells you so much. There’s dead bodies and excavations and masks in addition to text. It’s great.

“The Day The Eiffel Tower Went Berserk” is an EXCELLENT hook to a story

“It’s your Eiffel Tower, it’s gone insane and must be stopped at all costs.” Dksgdhjbkgsdhjbdsghjb the show could never

This comic keeps disrespecting cool art. Why is it doing that to me. Don’t let the musée d’orsay get robbed

Okay, luther came through for me on that

Dsdhlsdghlgsdhldsh the siblings arguing while the Eiffel Tower is falling apart around them had me cackling

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” dsbdgsbgsdbdgsbklsd okay diego

“And just as I suspected – ZOMBIE-ROBOT GUSTAVE EIFFEL!” hello I need at least three comics of back lore on this. Why does luther have that hunch. Why is Gustave Eiffel a zombie-robot. How did we get here. Please I want answers

The missing line on the ‘e’ of ‘touché’ makes that dramatic moment way less dramatic and more funny ngl

Oh but you can be bothered to put the accent aigu on ‘séquence’

“And while you lost the Eiffel Tower, you saved Paris.” I am laughing too hard by this point. How dare this be a barely brushed upon adventure. Please I need to know more about zombie-robot Gustave Eiffel

Te Ben-robot makes me emotional and “Only my father calls me Number One”? ouch.

Also for the record, I love Luther’s design SO much

“Hello your father is dead. Please audition for my orchestra for revenge. Many thank. Bye.” Okay Conductor, whatever floats your boat, I guess

“and something worse is coming” dbhsdghbjgshbjsgbjhkgf okay Five, whatever floats your boat I guess

Allison immediately coming in with the ‘I know everyone blames you for Ben’s death, Luther, but honestly, who the fuck knows?’ dsbgbhdgshbsgdhkbj

Klaus has such an entrance and I honestly didn’t know that Claire was a comic character

The introduction to the apocalypse comes SO the fuck out of nowhere, but grumpy little Five with the ‘I knew I shouldn’t have run away from home’ speech bubble? Awesome

Also just genuinely interesting that Five truly hated Reginald and was aware of these feelings

The apocalypse introductions in the show and the comic are going for different feelings but they are both equally devastating, which is a nice touch

Also someone give show! Five a sword

Comic Diego is a fuckboy, and that’s obvious from a hundred paces

Apparently Grace makes me sad in any incarnation

Okay but the backdoor of the Icarus in the show is lifted straight out of the comics

I love the Conductor’s design so much, and his introduction is so good

Oh my god someone get a language checker, The Orchestra Verdammten doesn’t even make grammatical sense

I love the Conductor, he is so extra and just the concept of a piece of music that destroys the world…….it fucks so hard

This comic just throws wild shit at you and expects you to keep up

Just read the instructions Dr. Terminal gave his bots. Is he okay.

Why does Dr. Terminal want to eat Finland. Please I need to know what’s going on in that head of his

Gabriel Ba has excellent comedic timing

Five is a bitch and I love him

Diego hiding in a haunted house…….what a drama queen

Klaus is so fucking funny oh my god

Diego is so hilariously bitter towards Vanya. No need to destroy her like that, asshole

Love how Diego single-handedly brought about the apocalypse. What an idiot.

Dr. Pogo deserves the world

The Vanya reveal of powers is a bit. Uh. Underwhelming. Love the Frankenstein set-up tho

The art, man……..it’s so good

Comic Luther is SO savage holy shit

I love you Mister Conductor, but please stop butchering languages I know, thanks

I knew he was gonna die, but I am still hurt. Please bring him back, he’s the best character in this

“I don’t know where to begin…But I suppose I should start with the Kennedy assassination.” Okay five you drama queen

Allison is a bitch, and I mean that as a compliment

Honestly these Five and Vanya are made to be enemies, it’s great

HELL YEAH YOU GO KLAUS

This wraps up a little too nicely. Where did the moon boulder go

DALLAS

Sagfdghjasfkjghdsfjhksfhkj it opens with a ‘by the way, I’m still dead’ from Pogo

I can’t believe TUA directly inspired Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

No seriously, I knew about sentient monument Abraham Lincoln but this entire scene FUCKS

Dsbksgdbhsgbhksgdhbkj Celebrity Surgery, the big popular reality TV show, I’m laughing

Luther and Klaus are both such messes jeesus, even if Klaus is coping better

Allison immediately kidnaps Vanya and exposes her to all the horrible shit she caused?? Dbgbhjdgkjhbgdhkj I love these versions of the characters

While Show!Diego is Walmart Batman, Comic!Diego is Walmart Rorschach

I thought I got the gazelle speech but now I’m just confused

It literally is an epiphany AND WHAT GOT HAZEL AND CHA-CHA SENT ON HIS ASS I’M

CACKLING

Also that one wordless Hazel and Cha-Cha panel……..so good

Five is a communist lmao Diego

Luther and Diego arguments are tedious in both versions

I hate the Marilyn Monroe ape scene. With a passion. It is so cursed

Also show Hazel and Cha-Cha were partners that grew apart. I think comics Hazel and Cha-Cha are in love

I am every killer ever. That is one cute puppy.

Also Klaus and God is great in every universe

Dsjfghjdhjdgjhbdgbjhkdbkjhgb Five’s face when he is outfoxed

Why do dream!Luther and Allison have am ape cyclops daughter

I love the Luther&Klaus dynamic

This is just a remix of Watchmen

I have no idea why they suddenly know what Five is up to, from the corpse of a Commission agent. What.

Wait now they can use corpses as time travel devices. What.

Okay, Klaus accidentally blew up the world. Cool?

I am so confused

Now Diego Klaus and Luther are fighting vampires in Vietnam and hurling mummies through the bush. Okay.

So Pogo always knew what kind of disasters they’d turn into? Dskbgdsbkhsdgbkgsdkh

THE WHOLE JFK ASSASSINATION ARC IS AMAZING

HOTEL OBLIVION

Hotel Oblivion really just presents a cockroach on a plate to you, huh

Reginald’s aesthetic is seriously so much cooler than he deserves

EVIL IS THE NAME OF THE FIRST PART OF HOTEL OBLIVION?!? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE MR. AIDAN GALLAGHER

Five is a hired gun now?!? Man, that dude cannot catch a break ever

“TV is a healthy alternative to dying” esjkdsgbkgskbhdsgkbes

Who is Luther’s Japanese bro?!?

Also I just kind of really like the Luther&Diego dynamic in the comics

The show robbed us of Allison helping Vanya recover. It robbed us of Vanya getting injured in the first place, so what recovery, but still. This is incredibly sweet

God, all the villains in this universe are so intriguing. Except for Knock-Off-Adrian-Veidt, I keep forgetting that Perseus exists

“I’m a haunted house.” Is so metal as a self-descriptor

What the FLYING FUCK is Klaus doing there

Giant chicken?

The Enterprise???

“What are you doing?” “A report. I’m really interested in capitalism.” Djhsgjgskjvsevksevjesvjsefjv maybe Diego is right and Five is indeed a communist

“I know what it feels like to be unloved. I was born an object, and never treated as anything but.” It really was that bad, wasn’t it?” “For the both of us, yes.” B R U H

Evil Grace is fun

I love Allison and Five and their relationship so much

Five is interested in the stock market??

I am way too emotionally invested in whether Murder Magician and his baby make it out of there

Oh I CANNOT believe their romantic loves for their SISTERS is what unites them. I hate this.

What on earth is going on with Perseus and the flying head of Medusa

Alive Ben 😊☹

I am an idiot for not making the Perseus-Medusa connection sooner.

The Eiffel Tower now looks like the love child of the actual Eiffel Tower and the Atomium.

And now the Dr. Manhattan knock-off is here

God I love Allison so much

What the fuck is Pereus on about

Terminal eats a zoo

Scientific Man borders on plagiarism I’m sdhbgshsvjhksfvjksdjhkdsj

No no no no no not the Murder Magician

This whole baby arc makes me so soft

HELL YEAH LUTHER

Well this ended on a cliffhanger