#the fact ive read them all.... does that mean im basic?

[kraviolis]

as i get older and continue to exist online i cant help but question why so many adults got into arguments with me over fandom bullshit when i was a teenager, and yet i also completely understand why they did.

[gorgeouslypink]

hey pink!

i was hoping you could offer some encouragement and advice to me. basically the entire luckyvoidgirl thing yesterday, i acctually liked her success story, it made sense to me and i even listened to cee's subliminal and my parents ended up saying i don't have to go to this dumb event i was dreading so im even seeing successes with it

the thing was she said something that i can't stop thinking about. she said that a lot of tumblr is just misinformation and that the original blog that brought the void to tumblr was divineangelbee and she was exposed for lying about the void. everyone just copied whatever she said and kept spreading the same stuff she put out but her own experience was all a lie. it really got me thinking about how educated this community is about loa, like the void state and loa is so intertwined. luckyvoidgirl never said she used loa and she did something different but she got so much flack bc the void community on tumblr is so deeprooted in loa, possibly bc of angel. but anyways for a community that is so deeprooted in loa, so many people haven't entered and even worse, so many bloggers have been exposed for lying about their success story. the crazy thing is its so easy to lie on tumblr so the fact that so many have gotten caught makes me wonder how many we haven't even caught and really how does a community that knows loa struggle like this.

idk i just can't stop thinking about this and was hoping for some guidance.

hey love! im technically on break but you're not the only one spiraling so i rlly wanted to answer this.

first of all, i want to say she's just lying and this community is great but i can't. the truth of the matter is she is right. the person who brought the void to tumblr was @divineangelbee and she was the one who went around saying it was super easy and anyone can do it and she was and is still pretty much the blueprint for how a lot of voidstate tumblr thinks, but she was exposed for harassing her friends to enter the void for her. since then, many other bloggers who basically parrot the same thing as her have been exposed as well.

however i want to highlight something here. just because someone preaches something and it doesn't work out for them doesn't mean it's false. this is a super old argument, like back when bloggers like cleo and raven were super popular but people were arguing abt Sammy Ingram. basically she was a big affirm and persist girlie and people were going at her for saying this but never losing any weight (her main goal with manifestation was to lose weight but she never did and just gaslighted anyone who pointed it out, saying they were bodyshaming her). while something was off for sammy (maybe she didn't persist or maybe she just didn't bother doing her method at all), her method worked for so many people. there's boatloads and boatloads of success stories from her videos and methods. so someone can be lying about the void and still be giving legit advice.

however, the void state community on tumblr DOES have a lot of misinformation. ive seen people claim the void state is just SATS, just alpha state, theta state, delta state, it's acc just a placebo for you to guarantee manifestations, and all sorts of nonsense. now there's a new addition, people who tell you to pay money and they'll get you into the void state. it's honestly crazy how hard the community went against the luckyvoidgirl but not some of the other stuff i see here.

but anyways, what do you do?

you need to realize that you entering the void has nothing to do with the state of the void community on tumblr. people lying abt entering the void doesnt make the void a lie, it makes them a liar.

ive been in that position where i hailed bloggers and felt attached to this community so drama here messed with me internally. you shouldn't be doing that. please read my Doubts post where i talk about overcoming this and also provide many sources of proof that the void is real so that you don't need to rely on tumblr to know that:

also it helps to find a few reputable sources. i just wanted to give a shout out to someone rn: @voidprincessblog

her page is the page i would recommend to everyone. you can tell the amount of research and effort she puts into every post and you can trust her to be a reputable source on info.

im going to attach this other post of mine for you as well:

i wish you the best of luck on your void journey and hope this helps! 💟

[eluxcastar]

hi ive never written a request before so im sorry if its bad or too vague

could you write a dottore with an adopted child reader? like maybe he found them on the outskirts of a small town and just was like “im adopting you now”?

Dottore slightly dadfailing his way to fatherhood

── ୨୧：il dottore & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: dadtore picks up a kid and takes it in like a box kitten

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child reader, reader's backstory is mostly ambiguous, this is literally exactly as is written on the tin

୨୧﹑words :: 753

you're doing just fine honey I'm sorry you've had to wait so long for me to complete this and the fact that it's basically a ramble, I'm just getting back into it so please forgive that it's slightly messy

It was cold when he found you, too cold for a child to wander about unchecked. Little children were never his thing, but scooping you up under your arms like a boneless little ragdoll and carting you off with him that night felt right somehow.

It would be simple to discard you on the doorstep of the House of the Hearth and simply forget you had existed, as that is hardly uncommon in the children there. Being delegated to the orphanage by a Harbinger is usually a visual shorthand: "They had parents once- just yesterday, in fact. Thanks to the Fatui's involvement, they don't anymore."

You're different. Circumstances demand it when Dottore has no access to the House.

Dottore swaddled you in his coat, shedding it in the same motion he scooped you up, carried you back into town where he could set you up on the closest thing you could get to a bed, situated on a chair in the basement where he got you a change of clothes. You didn't ask where they came from or what he did with your old clothes.

A bath of warm water did you well, easing the chill in your bones and washing away the dirt sticking to your skin. You popped the soapy bubbles with your fingers and sat quietly as the water ran over you. Dottore is good at giving baths, experienced from the days of sterilising subjects.

It's nice to feel clean. Dottore let you get out on your own and dress yourself in a fresh change of clothes.

The pillows were thin, blankets not enough to keep out the cold, but for the first night, he let you keep his coat.

Perhaps he intended to turn you over at that time, but a month has passed, and nothing has happened. You thought Dottore would be cold and distant, but he lets you poke around and play with things befitting a child. You watch and observe what he does but don't understand it. Many ask, and he evades answering.

Dottore isn't one for affection, not typically, and you've given up on having him read to you or play with you. It's not in his nature to treat you too softly. You have to be self-sufficient because his work demands it, and while he can monitor you, he can't stop to cut the crust off your sandwiches or do any more than offer that you sit by his side when you get scared.

He cares, but not typically. At first, it's almost...comforting how little he tries to push you into normalcy when you're so used to being by yourself. You can wander and aren't coddled too much beyond being unable to get into dangerous things.

You're well-fed and well-dressed, and you get to listen to Scaramouche, the strange doll man when he comes down. By all means, you are well-kept for a child. Apparently, it is because he got attached, as Scaramouche put it.

You don't quite understand how that could motivate him until he points out everything he's done, from making you comfortable to buying you clothes and even embracing you as his own. Rearranging the way he stores things to practically babyproof his lab was a feat just so you could wander around it safely in a place where he can watch you easily. How could he give you up? He obviously has no intention to.

It feels like the lightbulb to your little mind that sets off a domino effect as you look around you and start to realise these things. There is almost the sense that, despite Dottore’s informality towards his role as a father, Dottore doesn't want to give you up to the orphanage and maybe never did in the first place.

He likes it when you pester him and have to rely on him. He set everything that could kill you on the highest possible shelf, took note of the clothes you didn't like, the foods that put you off eating and collected the blankets he could find to make your bed more cosy, the occasional toy, plenty of visitors coming in and out to listen to. It's always warm where you sit.

Dottore let you keep borrowing his coat to sleep under, and you even convinced him to read you a storybook, if only once. There are many nights you fall asleep somewhere and wake up wrapped up in blankets and his coat, just as you like.

It seems very pleasant to live this way.

[olde-scratch]

psst hey. chimera!laios. you want it.

(reblogs >>>>>> likes)

(ignore that i didnt add fleshy colors to his hands and i forgot his knuckles on one of them shhh)

my friend @gltchghst and i came up with a chimera!laios for a falin/laios roleswap au that i wrote a oneshot for (link here) (eventually u should check my prof in case i turn it into a series of connected oneshots).

where falin gets chest feathers, laios gets a happy trail. why? well. laios is an adult. and IM an adult.

sketches in read more along with notes about chimera!laios. spoilers, obvi.

did i lowkey trace the sketch of falin ripping her shirt because i couldn't be bothered to make the pose myself? yeah. ive never drawn that angle or pose before and i didn't wanna burn myself out trying to figure it out. im not trying to hide it so its fine.

i was gonna do a little simplified anatomy sketch for it but cannot be bothered so instead have bulletpoints

where falin has feathers, laios has fur. idk if thistle just gave falin feathers or if he combined her with another animal, but laios i think would be happy if we did two monsters instead of one + another basic trait. we ended up using dungeon rabbits, the blades of which you can very faintly see hidden in the fur on his forearms in the second image.

the red dragon itself does not actually have wings, which would technically make it a drake. (eastern dragons are technically wyrms, which also exist.) however, wings are cool, and dragons are supposed to have wings. thistle has wings on his eye of the magician dragons, and those are red. so its basically the same thing.

chimera!laios is significantly bigger than chimera!falin. falin herself isn't as tall as laios, but there's also the fact that falin has magic on her side. she has feathers to make herself appear bigger than she is. this all very much seems to play to falin's strengths, since she is a magic-user. laios, however, is a tank, and this is apparent in his bigger stature (falin's like 35 ft i think, i imagine he's 5-10 feet taller and much bulkier) and the red dragon hide across more of his body which we know is extremely tough.

falin has magic. she has Magic. HELLO. laios gets to breathe fire. ITS FAIR OKAY. laios isn't made to breathe fire so i imagine that it also severely impacts his ability to talk (rather than him being extremely disoriented or just a puppet) by causing burns on the inside of his mouth (and probably the remaining human portion of his throat before it turns into dragon). he also probably couldn't breathe the fire very far, since he does still have a human mouth, but he can also use the wings to fan any fires he does cause. modern problems.

falin has more estrogen in her body than testosterone and isn't a front-line fighter. laios, however, is Male and exercises A Lot, so his fat stores will be empty looong before falin's would have been. on top of nourishing a bigger body, he also cant eat without causing pain to himself due to the open burns on the inside of his mouth. someone else come up with a concrete way to redo the curry scene, maybe tire him out and feed him some medicinal herbs before they freeze him. mf ain't fighting for long.

laios has horns because same reason as the happy trail. my friend and i are into men. if u don't like it make your own chimera!laios design. this is for Us.

yeah this entire thing is just us 'rule of cool'ing chimera!laios and doing our best to use logic to justify it. keep scrolling.

the shirt in the second image is falin's shirt, and i think that even though they are rather similar, falin's shirts might end up being too short for laios. does this mean he got abducted with his entire everything out? no, i think either falin grabbed and salvaged a pair of his pants from their stuff (maybe the extra shirt was one they shared or maybe it got got by a dungeon creature?) or they whipped up/found him a pair of shorts. i think canonically falin borrowed marcille's underwear but i don't think anything they have is fitting laios.

maybe its because im biased considering laios is one of my favorite characters but my friend enabled me so i think laios would be capable of more destruction than falin. she's meant to use magic to locate delgal (tho she isn't often seen doing it to the extent id expect her to be), but i think laios' method of searching would be to pick up where thistle can't and use physical search-and-rescue to find delgal instead of more magic. thistle wont let him leave any more than falin, so this point is moot, but yk. i think laios' ability to destroy would also do more to symbolize thistle's growing desperation to find delgal and his willingness to destroy what's in his path to do so.

maybe soon ill redraw the falin and thistle interactions to do laios and thistle instead, but i know that i do want to draw some wish fulfillment art where thistle gets a nice big hug. it probably wouldn't be as comfy as falin's, and laios has weapons on his arms, and also laios would be really sweaty and gross with no feathers to act as a buffer, but no one said thistle had to enjoy the hug.

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I was thinking about my big Elisabeth: das Musical post where I talked about all the versions I had seen and I realized that I barely talked about Rudolf even though hes basically my favorite character, so now I wanted to make a quick post to rectify that

I mean to be fair to myself for not talking about him that much, that post ended up being mostly me comparing different productions and what I thought they did better or worse than others, and I feel like Rudolf fundamentally always stays the same so theres not too much to compare. Its a classic case of 'if it aint broke, dont fix it' yknow? Its not like thats hard to do at all, he only has three songs (in the og prod, but even in later ones he only gets one as a child and two as an adult and while I love them and love when theyre included, I wouldnt consider them vitally important (although.... I mean Kind oder Nicht does such a phenomal job at communicating Rudolfs relationship to the monarchy while also being great foreshadowing, but we're not talking abt rn)) plus the mayerling walzer, and as long as you have those and as long as you have Tod kiss him on the mouth, Im pretty much satisfied. I wouldd be beyond satisfied if the non-Vienna productions could also put Tod in a dress, but you cant win em all I suppose

The fact that its so easy to get him right is what pisses me off about the 1999 Scheveningen prod btw, because its like, all you needed to do was let him have his second song but they DIDNT because it was too political i guess, so now hes just this weird fucking guy whos there for a bit and he doesnt really do anything for the story and you dont really know why hes there and then hes just gone again. hes like herbert von krolock if he killed himself

But enough about that, lets talk about the various versions of Rudolf now

If youve read my other post, Im sure you can guess that Andreas Bieber of the 92 proshot is my favorite. Hes just so pathetic and sad and he has such a lovely soft little voice and Im absolutely obsessed with the way uwe!tod just fucking GRIPS him during Die Schatten werden länger Reprise, mwah. 10/10, no notes. Markus Neubauer is also my favorite actor for child!rudolf because he just does such a good job acting like a little boy, and I know that sounds stupid because he is a little boy, but idk. The way he sings "ich kann hart und bös wie die Welt sein" in particular is just so good, I feel like none of the other child actors Ive heard for this part really act like that, I feel like theyre mostly focused on just sounding nice, which I do appreciate but idk, I just prefer this

Im not looking up the name of the guy from the 1998 Vienna proshot (sorry) because I just really dont care about that one, its overwhelmingly just a slightly worse version of the 1992 proshot, and thats also how I would describe this guys performance. Yknow, its not terrible or anything but hes less sad and suffering than andreas!rudolf so I just dont find him as compelling. Also I do not remember child!rudolf's performance at all, Im sorry

I also did not remember 1999!Scheveningen!Rudolf at all, but I didnt want to just leave it at that for this post, so I did rewatch his songs for this and hes alright, I feel similarly about him as the guy from the 1998 prod, although I do really like the choice of having him speak more directly to Elisabeth in Wenn ich dein Spiegel wär. Like, Elisabeth is sitting at her desk and shes facing him the whole and theres parts where they touch each other's cheeks and then at the very end he goes down on his knees and hugs her and oughhhhhh its really good. I really enjoy this strained sense of intimacy here, but I think thats mostly just because its novel because the point of this song is that Rudolf and Elisabeth are fundamentally the same and yet theres this intense disconnect between them, and I think the more typical staging where theyre far apart or seperated by a mirror or some other barrier works better for that symbollically. Unfortunately I cant say that I enjoy the novelty of having Rudolf stand infront of Elisabeth's door in Mama, wo bist du? instead of being in his bedroom, but the actor was fine. I was also going to watch the mayerling walzer but theres a kindof skip that happens in the copy that I have whre it just jumps straight to Rudolf, wo bist du? so I went to look for another upload of this proshot, and all the ones that I can find are two hours long while the one that have is around an hour and 40 minutes long (its the one from the internet archive) and now Im questioning everything ive ever said about this production because what if I didnt actually watch it in full and it doesnt have all these massive flaws. i guess i'll worry about that later

Moving on to Dolhai Attila from the 2004 Budapest proshot, whom I just love. Hes so pathetic, he has this incredible air of just being scared during Wenn ich dein Spiegel wär and hes just crawling around and begging for Elisabeth to pay attention to him and Im obsessed with it. I also like that they actually had a dancer to represent Mary during the mayerling walzer but then at the end she kindof gives him over to der Tod and they kiss, its like my favorite sex move. I thought the actor playing child!rudolf was fine, although he was noticeably focused on his singing over his acting imo. Also, during Mama, wo bist du? hes wearing a white undershirt and that blue uniform jacket-thing that he wears in most productions was either laying on his bed or hung up somewhere near his bed and very clearly visible, and I thought Tod was gonna put it on him towards the end of the song, but he didnt, and I thought that was a missed opportunity

I think Fritz Schmid in the 2005 Vienna proshot is pretty good, but hes simply not pathetic enough for me. Ive seen other people say that its because of Rudolf, ich bin außer mir, but I dont think thats the case. Like, I havent seen any footage of the 2012 Vienna production, but Ive listened to the cd and the guy playing Rudolf there definitely sounds sufficently pathetic enough for me, so it is possible for him as a character to be pathetic in this moment where hes standing up to his father, but this guy is simply not playing him like that, which is a shame. Johann Erbert as child!Rudolf is also very good, he has what I can only describe as an angelic choirboy-voice which sounds absolutely lovely, although I think it lacks the humanity of the technically rougher 1992 performance or even the 1999 performance, so I like it a little less than those

God, the 2016 Toho White prod does so much good shit with Rudolf. First of all, Furuwaka Yuta's performance was absolutely wonderful, his voice is just the right amount of soft and I love it. He is unfortunately lacking a bit in the patheticness-department but is very sad and he has this repressed anger which shines through at a couple key moments that I find really compelling. I love the choice of having Rudolf give the exposition about the german nationalists, and I love him and FJ standing on top of those giant coffins during Rudolf, ich bin außer mir. Also, during the conspiracy song everyone is also standing giant coffins and I think thats great; idk, its such a simple thing that I feel kinda stupid for enjoying it as much as I do, but then again, how can you possibls argue against the sheer evocativeness of having a bunch of people singing about societal change while standing on top of these gigantic coffins? Thats right, you cant. I will say, I found the way they did Eljen reprise extremely disappointing compared to the takarazuka version, but I'll talk more about that when we get to those productions. I love the choreography during Die Schatten werden länger Reprise, Rudolf and der Tod dont touch each other as much or as intensely as in other versions, which is unfortunate, but I like that there are these parts where Tod seems to be controlling his body, i think its a great way to show that he feels like hes losing control. And while they dont touch other that much, there is a part where Rudolf is laying on the ground and Tod is crawling towards him like some manner of predator, which scratches a similar itch in my brain. And ohhhhhhh dont even get me started on the mayerling walzer. The choreography is really good, I think it strikes a great balance between the kindof uncoordinated panic of the original Vienna choreo and the more deliberate interpretive dance-y Takarazuka choreo, and I love love love Rudolf initiating the kiss at the end. And godddddd, the way they linger on it and the way Tod gently caresses his face afterwards makes me crazy. If you care about todolf at all, I think this one is required viewing for you

I really dont have too much to say about child!rudold in this one, I think his actor (whose name I unfortunately couldnt find) does a very good job in both the singing and the acting department and hes just so cute, I feel like crying every time I think about him. I think its because hes just so small, like its been a little while since ive seen this proshot so maybe Im misremembering a little, but istg during Kind oder Nicht when hes standing next to Sophie, it looks like hes only as tall her her skirt, like he could hide inside the hoopskirt while standng fully upright and it makes me crazy. Speaking of Kind oder Nicht, I liked that Count Gondrecourt was there instead of the lady-in-waiting, I think thats a neat choice. And I really liked Rudolf being surrounded by these armour sets holding weapons during Mama, wo bist du? and the way they collapsed when der Tod properly entered the song. One of the armour sets was holding a gun and when Rudolf starts singing about killing the cat he takes it and kindof gesticulates with it, and Tod is just staring him in this intense way and its so good. mwah, 10/10

Okay, before I can really get into the things I like about Rudolf in the takarazuka productions, I need to briefly talk about the fact that I used to really dislike him in these. And I thought that it was because of the way that he was written, but then I was like "well no, I mean theyve obviously made a lot of changes to all of the songs during the whole takarazukification process, but Rudolf's actually seem to be the ones that are the most similar to the original german ones", so after realising that I thought "oh, its the conspiracy song and éljen reprise, those were obviously added later and so that part feels incongruent with the rest of his character and thats the reason his writing bothers me" but then I actually thought about those songs more, specifically éljen reprise, and I realized that theyre essentially expressing the same thing as Die Schatten werden länger Reprise except optimistic, yknow what I mean? Die Schatten werden länger Reprise is the depression and the conspiracy song/éljen reprise is the mania, thats the best way I can sum it up. And thats when I finally realized that the thing that was bothering me about Rudolf wasnt the writing at all, it was the acting – I did not like a single one of the actresses in this role, which is wild because by the time I came to this realization I had seen like dozen proshots already, but its the truth. But then I actually did find a Rudolf-performer that I liked, which further bolstered my realisation that it was the acting I had an issue, whose name I unfortunately cant remember because when it comes to zukabeth I dont pay all that much attention to the actresses that arent playing Tod or Elisabeth ToT I dont remember exactly which production they were in either, so shes just gonna have to be my lost cinderella until I decide to burn through all of these proshots again

I unfortunately cant tell you what exactly it is that makes me dislike all of these Rudolf-performances because its kindof all-encompassing I feel like, so idk, if you feel similarly and you can describe what it is, please tell me and we can see if I feel the same. However, what I can tell you is who my least favorite zuka!Rudolf is, and its Ryouga Haruhi from the 2009 Moon Troupe production. While shes clearly a very good singer, I dont really like the tone of her voice (atleast here, shes probably good in other musicals) and, Im not sure if this is a conscious acting choice or just the way her face normally moves, but shes constantly doing this grimace of a nervous smile and I really dont like that. I do not think that Rudolf is a nervous smiler, its unfitting imo

I was gonna jump into everything I like about adult!Rudolf in this version at this point and then talk about child!Rudolf after, but I think I would rather just get all the negatives out of the way first, so heres everything I dislike about child!Rudolf in this production: hes not played by a child which I find kind of offputting, especially when the actresses try too hard to project this sense of child-ness and innocence. And like, I know how the takarazuka revue operates (you essentially have to go a performing arts university preparing you to perform for this specific company and its very competive) so they obviously cant have child actors, but still. Also, the bowlcut wigs they put on them look so bad, I literally cannot believe theyve stuck with them for over 30 years now. And the thing that makes me even more frustrated with them is that they have different wigs in some of the shinjinkoen prods and they look a thousand times better! agh

Okay thats it, onto the positives: I noticed that the stage is a lot more abstract during the Rudolf/Tod scenes and I think thats very interesting. Like, the takarazuka sets can be quite minimalistic at times but theyre ultimately still very literal (unless theyre portraying purgatory like in the prologue or Am Deck der sinkenden Welt), but Mama, wo bist du? and die Schatten werden länger Reprise both take place in these voids full of marble columns and I think thats pretty neat. I really like the little moment after Mama, wo bist du? ends and Rudolf runs offstage while Tod does a little flourish of his hand thats kinda like a bow, I think its very cute and Im always upset when they dont do a closeup of it. During the instrumental portion of Die Schatten werden länger Reprise before they start singing, Rudolf sits down on the ground and starts saddrammatically vogueing and its peak takarazuka goofysilliness, and Im in a goofysillines-enjoyer mood so I really like that. And the absolute best Rudolf-bit in all of these productions is Eljen Reprise, which I guess is technically part of the conspiracy song herebut I like to call it that to better isolate the exact part I mean. So, Rudolf is in this cafe with the hungarian conspirators, theres a whole set there and everything, and theyve talked a bit but then theres a beat and the set suddenly splits gets wheeled offstage and people flood onto the stage and hungarian flags fall from the ceiling and they bring our this little church-podest-thing that we've seen in Eljen proper and Elisabeth is standing on it and smiling and waving, and the previously dimmed lights have suddenly turned bright and warm, giving the whole thing this fantastical triumphant glow (and all of this happens within seconds, its crazy), and Rudolf runs up to the podest to get crowned king of Hungary by Elisabeth while everyone is cheering for him, but as hes walking back to the front, some Todesengel steal the crown. After that we're essentially back in the conspiracy-sing tone-wise for a bit, but then we're back in Eljen Reprise Land where we get this big group dance number set to this fun triumphant music, but then theres suddenly gunshots those flags fall down and all of those people are afraid for their lives and fleeing, and GOD i love it so much. I lohed it even when I had issues without it because I thought it was incongruent with Rudolf's character because of the sheer emotions that it makes me feel and the way it makes my heartrate spike

And the Toho version is. very much not that. I get that those bigass coffins take up a lot of the stagespace so you cant really have it flood with people, and I dont think you could move those coffins offstage in only a couple seconds the way they move the cafe-set in the takarazuka prods because they seem pretty heavy and even if they arent, theres people standing on them so I feel like that would pretty dangerous, but idk. could they not atleast have the hungarian flags fall from the ceiling instead of just having them on the screen? Its much less effective because the visuals are not as fast and its not emotionally janking the audience around as much. I also think Lucheni putting the crown on Rudolf's head is inferior to Elisabeth putting the crown on Rudolf's head, although it is a pretty interesting choice when you consider the idea/interpretation of this musical's story, and particularly the fact that Rudolf's side of things is shown in a very sympathetic way, being influenced by Lucheni as a narrator, and when you co sider the fact that the real life Luigi Lucheni apparently quite liked Rudolf

Anyway thats it, I hope you enjoyed my Rudolf-thoughts! If you have any Rudolf-thoughts, please share them with me, I always appreciate it

[ashenberry]

oh yeah here's like. the mgs as sonic mobians ideas so far. excuse my z's it's a typing habit thats . EXTREMELY noticeable on discord :sob:

[ID: discord message that reads "David: dog [husky spefically] hal: fox? idk what bread though sunny: deer raiden: fox i think eli: wolf [he took after eva more then david] big boss: husky as well kaz: havent decided yet but im thinking fox because of vibes ocelot: AN OCELOT. DUH (emoji of a unamused face)" note: in original message all instances of the letter 's' was replaced with a 'z'. end ID]

THROWING JOEYS MESSAGES ONTO THIS ASK BC I THINKKK im maybe not the best person to ask yall are a lot more invested then i am i kind of begin and end at "oh. ottercon is a fun pun name"

[ID: 3 replyes from counterfeitubiquity that read @\teamaerialcombo gets dragged in the room by the scruff Hi. i have created fursonas i mean mobians for any major metal gear character you could ask for which means i basically have it all figured out. ignore the fact that the only way i can make fursonas is by making mobians. my own personal fursona is a mobian. or nermie if u are of higher class. REGARDLESS I GOT U all the snakes are canines of sorts, wolves are an obvious but reasonable choice. venCHARACTER LIMIT @\teamaerialcombo venom is a mouse actually idk if ashen ever posted the doodle but venom is a mouse that underwent surgery to look like a wolf. ocelot is obvious. the boss would honestly be a canine also, i think i said hyena or coyote? the sorrow is prolly a feline. kaz is a fox not just for foxhound reasons but also for japanese reasons. i have thoughts about that dw abt it u can ask me tho. paz and quiet are cats, otacon is. fucking obviously an otter and strangelove @\teamaerialcombo CHARACTER LIMIT AGAIN strangelove is a ferret huey is a weasel. sunny is an ouppy ive drawn her and snake and otacon together actually idk if ive ever posted it though. uhhh i cant think of anyone else i care about enough rn to give them a mobian on the spot does this answer ur question end ID]

[geneticcatalyst]

as promised, an exploration of my one pet problem in fandom, or: misinterpretation of jby's first death (ft. zzs)

heres the thing. i occasionally see people reference what seems to be a misconception of the (english translation) text in qi ye. both the fact that its a translation and the metaphorical phrasing make it pretty clear to see why they got the wrong idea, but i firmly believe its still the wrong idea. i am by no means calling the people who got this mixed up dumb or bad, i am simply leaning over their shoulders going 'wait no bestie pls read that again pls read that one more time!!' because this is one of my favorite books and this thing is a key piece of one of my favorite things about it.

i said i was gonna pull screenshots for this post but i think it will be a little while before i get to another reread and i can't ctrl+f the google doc so im just gonna whip this out from memory. if anyone does have this particular passage on hand feel free to pop it in here. the rest of the context/explanations are just from my cursory research, im not chinese or a historian.

cards on the table. the only thing i love more than unhinged gay romances is unhinged platonic soul mates. its catnip to me. i go feral every goddamn time. and i havent stopped losing my mind about zhou zishu and jing beiyuan since that first qi ye scene. what do those guys have going on? not even sure they know but it's A Lot. ive got like 18 other unpublished drafts trying to work that out slash losing my fucking mind at the lengths they go to about each other. that relationship is at the center of both novels even if the spotlight isnt on it. so I admit that my readings are colored a bit by how much i like that they like each other!

which is why im shocked baffled and, ok, lightly salted, to see a few people make the claim that zishu (personally) tortured/killed beiyuan in his first life.

so what the text says is that after helian yi stopped trusting beiyuan (after su qingluan's accidental death), he was basically put to death. but even the emperor has to have a half decent reason to execute someone. the text describes these reasons- ten of them- as zhou zishu's masterpieces. it also refers to them as great shames to beiyuan's standing. what's happening is that helian yi has zishu frame beiyuan for treason or other betrayals against the emperor/the country. it isn't specific as to what, but it doesn't really matter, because its all fake and zishu is really good at his job. so yes, it is fair to say that zishu is the INSTRUMENT of beiyuan's death, but he didn't kill him, he just laid the groundwork.

the text goes on to another slightly confusing line where it says something to the effect of that when each of these accusations were read out in court, each line drew blood from jing beiyuan. that's a metaphor! it's just saying that his reputation was torn apart and ultimately his fate is sealed, despite the phrasing there are no literal injuries happening.

also, i may not have the timeline perfect on this part, but in zishu's introduction in the beginning of the novel, the narration tells us outright that while zishu is partially responsible for beiyuan's death, he was like. cool about it. in what seems to be the first and only time he ever steps out of line or goes against helian yi's command (!), after setting all this up but- if im remembering right- before the news actually breaks in court the next day, zishu warns beiyuan. now this admittedly doesnt do a whole lot because the only other possible option (cut and run) isn't a very good one, but it's the only thing zishu can do. he doesnt have to, but he does it anyway (!). of course beiyuan doesnt even consider doing this, he's stubborn and heartbroken, but he really seems to 1. appreciate the risk zishu took here to try to give him a chance and 2. not hold the whole set up against zishu or take that bit personally.

so what actually happened at the end of beiyuan's first life? he was sent the 3 zhang of white silk. the text does explicitly say this once, but if you're not familiar with the practice it may not click. receiving the white silk from the emperor is what happens when you're too high ranking to execute like a commoner but you've fallen from grace and are being politely asked to hang yourself in order to clear your name. and of course beiyuan, stubborn and heartbroken, does. yes, it's a forced suicide, but it isn't a murder.

anyway, its in that secret conversation, where zishu secretly meets with beiyuan seemingly to try to convince him to save himself and beiyuan outright refuses, that beiyuan promises that if theres a next life (ha), they'll get drunk together. and of course against all odds, there is and they do.

the thing about the idea that some people might think that zishu killed beiyuan is that after that nothing between them makes sense. even if it was at helian yi's request, i just cant see that not permanently damaging the friendship, i don't think beiyuan could immediately pick back up being best friends in the seventh life with that memory in the way. why would zishu go out of his way to warn beiyuan one day if he was perfectly capable and fine with killing him the next? why would beiyuan not only be happy to meet zishu again in the seventh life but also go out of his way trying to save zishu's? none of their other interactions really make sense if you believe there was a murder done there. idk. it clouds the whole throughline of the story which is that they have a bond!

i think maybe people think it is in character due to the other ruthless murders, and they're not wholly wrong, but that's the kicker for me. zishu will murder all kinds of innocents no questions asked, but he's suddenly trying to give an out to his coworker and drinking buddy? hello? thats insane, and that's the point.

furthermore, if you think maybe it would make sense for helian yi to have beiyuan violently killed (since it keeps fucking happening later), i actually have to become helian yi's lawyer for a moment here and say that that doesnt make sense either. helian yi is sitting on a throne gained by shadowy means but he's the Good Guy Ruler and that reputation is important. hes not a cruel person and he may have become paranoid but he still has a shared history with beiyuan. plus, even the emperor has to abide by a certain amount of decorum when he wants to have people killed, especially when that person is also a high ranking member of court. beiyuan's status is basically second only to the royal bloodline, he's essentially the prev emperor's godson, as well as a previously close confidante of helian yi himself. the white silk was regarded as a privileged, dignified means of offing someone. helian yi is perfectly within social acceptability to do this to beiyuan with the pretext of beiyuan's disgrace. but it would be pushing the boundaries for the good and just emperor to suddenly have one of his top advisors and members of high nobility brutally killed like a common criminal. he could probably do it, but it would reflect on him and his reputation too. he could do it in secret, but would have to cover up the disappearance of a prominent court figure. it just makes sense to use the white silk as the neatest, most acceptable legal justice channel here. maintain emotional detachment, be polite, everybody's honor gets honored and such.

so that's the ted talk. theres even some beautiful fanart on here of white-haired first life beiyuan holding the white silk! he wasn't tortured or outright executed, and he chose to obey rather than escape or fight the false claims of treason even though his friend tried to give him the only out he could manage. to interpret things differently really skews the character motivations and plot for everyone- beiyuan, zishu, helian yi- in a way that warps the story out of believability, imho.

[crushedsweets]

do you have any ej headcanons? his character tends to vary alot, sometimes he used to be human and other times hes just a monster in the woods

ive always liked the idea of him being like a big brother to some of the pastas mainly like sally, ben, and jeff

AAAAGREED . As per usual ramble under the cut about jacks relationship with everyone + I’ll post colored version of this in a sec

ok. ive already talked a good bit about jack being a normal med student before the sacrifice, spending a year in some rando possessed demon state, regaining clarity, finding refuge in slenders forest, etc etc. he sort of resembles like, a vampire mixed w ghoul from tokyo ghoul

and as per usual fandom antics, he's one of the typical medical resources for a lot of people in that circle . he absolutely was the eldest son of his family, maybe like 3 younger siblings, so going to university and getting away from a big family was really nice for him. until he lost everything and can never face them again</3

SOOOOO him being the resident 'doctor' and already having a brotherly instinct .. its real and true. especially with sally, but she doesn't come around much since sally stays w jane and jane doesnt need jack. sally def reminds him of one of his little sisters. its super super bittersweet for him. jane doesnt realize jeff gets help from jack so thats the only reason she even lets sally come around

in terms w his friendship w jeff and ben.. those two are close, and jeff def has to go to jack for medical attention. ben doesnt need it but he'll come w jeff just bc he can. for a while jack REFUSED to talk to jeff while treating his wounds bc he knows what jeff does. ((jeff isnt even protected under slenderman he just lies and jack has no idea LMFAO))BUT EVENTUALLY jeff starts bringing jack uhh. :| remains. as an extra thank you, which means jack doesnt have to do the killing. it felt like a huge burden lifted off his shoulders. so that kinda helped shift their friendship. ben also doesnt really kill he just haunts so jack didnt have severe issues w him anyway(plus ben actually IS protected under slender sooo)

ben and jeff are just kinda assholes but in the boyish brotherly way(for the most part). neither of them have past 8-9th grade education and will literally look at jack like hes stupid for making a catcher in the rye reference.

jacks just kind of a pathetic little asshat who misses being in school. sometimes he'll try to convince ben and jeff to actually pick up a book for once in their life, and they probably did it once. PROB WOULD ENJOY CATCHER IN THE RYE NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. LMFAOO

he's not all too brotherly with like, masky and hoody since those two are older than him and are creeped out by him. but theyve gotten their fair share of medical attention from him, and he even taught hoody some more extensive first aid so now hoody kinda deals with the basic stuff toby totally still goes out of his way to see jack regardless of whether hoody could treat it or not. toby had nobody willing to talk to him growing up, so the fact that now he sort of has a circle of freaks thatll talk to him, laugh(marginally) at his jokes, and can take some crude remarks.... BROS TAKING ADVANTAGE.

clocky also isnt protected under slenderman, but if she comes to jack with a gash in her head or a stab wound in her leg, jacks gonna help regardless. clocky is also kind of a smartass so she'll actually read some of the books jack has and talk to him about it which is pleasant for them both, but they really have like... nothing else in common.

liu doesnt need 2 go to jack and wouldnt bc he has no reason to

im still lost on how i want ninas case to go, whether she actually kills or just committed an act of self mutilation that caught jane and lius attention, so idk if she would need jack . .

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]

I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE

HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!

IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.

awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)

since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe

i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.

ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.

so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction

so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)

mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by

but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).

its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.

i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.

when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)

hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3

[plusdanshii]

disgusting horrible catney fluff though this is entirely whitney centric

super duper long

cw for one use of the r slur

ive already well established that whitney is genuinely in love with care. he really likes her. (ignoring how she feels about him for this whole post) he sees her as his first real girlfriend and he can imagine their future seamlessly. when the time is right hes gonna take her hand and run away from this godforsaken place without looking back.

ive also well established that i think whitney is a different person in public vs in private, dont get me wrong hes still very very much an asshole both ways but its just cranked up to 100 in public. and ‘canonly’ hes the one love interest who would actually changed the most and for the better when he gets older, so hes kinda the best character for a scenario like this.

he can actually leave doltown anytime. like if he REALLY really wanted to do it he can. theres this shitty pickup truck his parents left (his dads, but he stopped using it and just left it there so now its basically all his) he obviously wouldnt tell anyone, he would just pack up whatever belongings he has and drive out of this shithole and never look back. to where? who knows. but he’d be away from here. its not hard to smuggle out a map of the country side, hes smart and could manage it by himself.

but he doesn’t, because he’s waiting on the right time to tell care about it. he doesn’t want to leave alone. he doesn’t want to be by himself, doesn’t want to be lonely, doesn’t want to leave her behind in this shit hellhole. really, it can be any time they want it to be. he wants to take her away and just go. pack up whatever you have in a bookbag and lets just go. because what do we have to lose that hasn’t already been taken from us?

but hes unsure of how she’ll respond. when it comes to how she feels about this place, he cant read at her. of course he knows that she doesn’t want to be here. no one wants to fucking be here. the only people that want to be here are the abusers and degenerates themselves, and the the victims that get broken by them. and theres just no way the temple is any better. there is no way she wants to be here. theres something chaining her down here and theres only one person he can think of thats doing it.

her fucking dad. that creepy, old, shady, bastard. what the hell does she even feel about him??? whitney knows for a fact that he does not give a shit about his older wards, not one bit. if they fail to pay him their rent he sells them off and sex trafficks them into god knows where. hell, he probably raises them just to sell them off. and he knows that care isn’t a special case by any means. shes always working herself to the bone trying to make his ridiculous demands. he sees her (and makes sure to harass her) sometimes when she does the night shift at the strip club and when she comes back to it to come to school. but every time he brings him up in a negative or even neutral way she glares at him with such vitriol. she never gave him that look when he was making her life hell a couple years ago.

“whitney. shut the fuck up. you dont know anything about me, or him. i dont care what you think of him, just dont say it aloud when im around. okay, faggot?”

he cant believe that out of allll the things he done to her. the one and only thing she REALLY cant tolerate with him is. talking about bailey. mother. fucking. bailey. it always leads back him somehow. very irritatingly he once told her that its like she lives and breathes just to be his dog. he said that shes like a retarded, kicked puppy who’s addicted to getting pissed on by her owner and who’s too stupid to see any other way to live. she responded by rather calmly telling him to suck a dick and kill himself, then walked off. it pisses him off beyond belief. he can never understand why the leash he has on her is so tight. can never understand why shes so obsessed with him. if only he weren’t there, they could just leave. she’d have nothing tying her down anymore and no reason to stay. if he could just disappear…

but he knows that bailey is much much too dangerous, and is way too smart to try anything like that. so he has to just suck it all up for now. while he hates bailey, he would probably hate to see how devastated care would be if anything bad happened to bailey even more. so whatever. ugh. at the very least things are more bearable now that he’s realized how much he likes care and that shes his girlfriend.

[ohh-fiddlesticks]

pinned post thingo… pt 3 !

hiii my name is 💥 micah 💥 and this is my selfship sideblog! i use he/him and im a certified transsexual 🔥 aroace and gay as well. its a complex and wondrous thing yk how it is ‼️ i’m also australian 🎉

i tend to see my selfships as more on the fictional side; i like to explore the relationships like any other relationship in fiction, meaning that it wont always be the healthiest, so… keep that in mind i guess 👍

i dont like to associate this blog too closely with my main but if you get notifs from a blog with a url starting with d and a rainbow pfp of castiel, thats almost definitely me! if u wanna know the exact url feel free to ask and i’ll let you know 👍

you can also check out my strawpage for some general info about me and an f/o list, etc. :^)

i draw sometimes ‼️ i tag all my art with “#my art”

my main f/os are dave s.trider & c.handler bing but ive also got a couple more in the bag!

proship and closely associated please kindly don’t follow 🙏 strictly nsfw or 18+ blogs preferably dni too closely also . generally tho i’ll just block people i don’t want interacting

i think bi gays and bi lesbians are awesome and if you put them in your dni i will probably not want to talk to you sorry

f/o list, sharing boundaries, etc. below the cut!

for romantic f/os, my general policy is that i’m not particularly comfortable with sharing and while you’re free to follow or interact if we share f/os, keep in mind i’m less likely to follow back— this ofc does not apply if i follow first. platonic, familial, etc. f/os im totally fine with sharing, in fact i think thats awesome

also! i have no tagging system— that being said, if you want me to tag a certain ship for filtering purposes or similar, i’d be happy to do so!

characters i talk about in a romantic manner (some are f/os, some not, it’s complicated):

dave strider (homestuck) — f/o. thats my boyf riend . basically my first proper f/o i heart him lots 💗

chandler bing (friends) — f/o. thats also my boyf riend. my beloved sarcastic repressed boring yet not boring guy. this may come as a surprise but i also love him lots

hitch (ruby redfort) — f/o. i dont talk about him as much but i do love him. middle aged secret agent who’s afraid of crocodiles and is secretly silly :-)

prismo (adventure time) — f/o. also dont talk about him as much but i love him i prommy. idc that he’s 2D i will find a way to give him a kiss 🫡

jonny goodman (friday night dinner) — fictional crush or something i dont even know. i was briefly obsessed with him during my fnd interest period and i still hold him dearly and sometimes rewatch some fnd episodes and think of him

bernard black (black books) — i truly dont know tbh i just love black books and am a little obsessed with him. manny & fran too but i dont have gay little crushes on them so

jeremy usbourne (peep show) — practically an f/o atp but im in denial. side effect of my recent peep show obsession was developing a secondary obsession with this freak

rick (the young ones) — i maybeee have a teensy tiny crush on him. but i’ve not seen enough of the young ones yet to decide if i wanna ship with him or anything yet

characters i have some sort of weird little qpr situation with

foxy (fnaf) — idk how to explain it he was one of the first characters i started selfshipping with in some variety and i like him :-)

the nice cream guy (deltarune) — he’s a developed character 2 meeee. we’re gayass boy best friends

red guy (dhmis) — who knows but it’s not a normal friendship folks

characters that are my friendssss my familyyy etc. you get the idea

toriel & asgore dreemurr (deltarune) — my parents:)

kris & asriel dreemurr (deltarune) — my siblings:)

basically the entire rest of the main characters from the other medias ive already mentioned — my friends:)

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!! THANK YOU FOR READING :^)

[lorillee]

can you tell us about majimako

ok SORYYYYYY ive been sititng on this ask forever number 1 because i was trying to figure out a way to explain without well explaining like 75% of the entire plot of yakuza 0 in detail and also more importantly number 2 Sometimes lowkey i get kind of embarrassed talking about stuff i really like………………. but its ok....................

anwyasy BRIEF PLOT RUNDOWN. FOR THE UNINITIATED: <- i typed that sentence fragment and then it very quickly turned into a complete lie this is not brief at all. if you want brief go look at wikipedia or something idgaf anyways im linking it in a separate post go read >here<. well anwyasy you can take solace in the fact after reading all of that that the answer to your question is like a fourth of the length LOLLL but take my little majimako mini essay.......:

ultimately majima's story in y0 is one of complete lack of agency - between the hit (which further still was just him and saejima as pawns in someone's much much larger scheme, not that either of them found that out until way later), the year of torture, being labor trafficked under constant surveillance and being threatened/actively beaten when he steps out of line, and when he finally decides to do something himself regardless of the consequences by protecting makoto instead of killing her, that too was him playing right into shimano's hands. even his one true real act of agency in deciding to kill dojima is both thwarted and exploited by sera, and in the end is dubbed the mad dog of shimano - of course its ambiguous how much of the mad dog persona is an act in terms of becoming completely unpredictable so to prevent people from using him like a tool again and how much of it is genuinely part of his personality and how much the line's blurred over the years to where the mask becomes the true self and all that, but the fact of the matter is that even when he does act like an insane person he's still very much on shimano's leash, which is kind of sickening and also really fascinating when taken within the context of the end of y0 where essentially he says hes gonna do whatever the hell he wants from now on.

anyways back to the point at hand obviously this is a really really really interesting decision to make for his story both because 1) frankly its the kind of storyline that is much more commonly given to female characters, not one of the most popular men in your franchise about the yakuza, and 2) more importantly because it directly parallels makoto's. which in generally honestly i feel is pretty rare in and of itself for m/f duos, but like sooooo so interesting given that one of the most pivotal parts of her story is her history as a sex trafficking victim. like because generally i feel like in stories like these when the topic of sexual abuse comes up, the victims are treated as frankly alien and unknowable and purely objects of pity as opposed to. Well you know. people. both by the characters and the narrative itself.

y0 avoids this however by setting up majima and makoto as parallels both through their history (having been put through an extended period of torture as well as their vision being taken away for chasing after a brother they ended up losing as well as the sex/labor trafficking) but also their present story in the game - they spend the whole thing getting jerked around and treated as either barely ranking above a living sack of meat or alternatively a means to an end as opposed to people by everyone else around them as part of some insane overarching plot they have barely any context for for the majority of the game, any grasp they make at agency is met either with someone there to exploit it or violent retribution, and in the end they are completely powerless to do to basically anything at all.

like theyre two insanely miserable people having one of the worst times of their lives and by the end of it all they have is each other because everyone else is dead and gone but even this is a deeply temporary situation because if they somehow both make it out alive then its the end of their story together - if majima continues to associate with her while remaining in the yakuza it would paint a massive blaring target on her back that would only serve to put them through this again and again and again, which he would absolutely refuse to do and frankly which she would not want. like the circumstances which brought them together and allowed them to understand each other on a front unmatched by anybody else in their lives either before or after this point also dictate that they cannot ever stay with each other. its like "in another life" but there is no other life because a world that would allow them to be with each other is a world in which they are entirely different people.

the other reason that i reaaaaaaaally really like them is that it wouldve been sooooooooo so easy for rgg to make makotos story be completely co-opted by majima and a stupid romance subplot and they decidedly chose not to. like shimano's whole stupid insane plan that frankly was held together by 3 shoestrings and a prayer completely hinges on makoto falling in love with majima so that she'll do whatever he asks of her - namely handing over the lot, which she doesnt even want anyways - and when it comes to it she spits on the idea because SHE DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANY OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WANTS THOSE GUYS WHO KILLED HER BROTHER DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAINFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what majima thinks she should do is a great concept but she wants blood. like yes ill admit the bar is on the floor but truly most cannot even begin to fathom clearing it. like when i was first playing i was sooooooo i was so scared because they had this phenomenal set up and i knew it would be sooo easy for them to make it shlock but they did NOT!!!! THEY DIDNT!!!!!!!!!! which is frankly astounding for this studio because "Sorry but her long lost brother just died in front of her i think the last thing she wants to do right now is make out with some guy" has not stopped rgg before. But it did today. more seriously though its really and truly so important to me that she is very much her own character with her own life outside of him and like when we get an update on her 20 years later shes married and has a kid and is happy and living her best life!!!!!

one last thing that i reaaaaaaally looove about this relationship is frankly kind of how insanely altruistic it is on majimas end. like genuinely it kind of makes me sick how he has no expectation of like any sort of benefit in it for him theres nothing he wants other than for her to be happy and hes very much aware that this means that he can never be a part of her life and of course it makes him miserable because he cares about her so much but again because he cares he'd make the decision to never let her know who he is again and again and again like im going to start eating glass and such. well whatever ill leave you with the ending of majima's kiwami 2 karaoke song and drive off a cliff

[theninthdoor]

ive been thinking about smth thats kind of been bothering me in terms of not exactly having an accurate answer for someone elses situation but also its more like a theory i have of something but i dont know if i even ask tarot like whats the actual chances of it being more wrong than right? im not fussed if my theory is in fact incorrect but i do still think there was something else going on at the time and it defo has to do with a certain netflix docu on a certain hotel. how can tarot help give a true accurate answer if we are still relying on shuffling cards in order to get said answer? even tho tarot is not fact at all.

does this make sense? ive watched many readings on this particular case and they all either seem to lean towards the narrative that i perhaps feel is incorrect but i cant prove nothing still because most people took the medias and netflix's word for it. is it more that cards can only suggest what mightve been going on or what is currently ongoing in someone elses situations rather thsn it being accurate? ive had some very accurate readings from some very good readers on here but youtube ones i think are not as good or mainly do it for the clicks and views than anything else. cause u basically are just observing the cards that u get right? but how come different readers may get different interpretations and there doesnt seem to be one set interpretation cause i really do think and feel that smth else was going on with this hotel imparticular and i generally am not quick to accept the given narrative anyway.

ok, let's break this one into parts 🫠 it got me thinking, and I have some opinions that I need to write down…

Tarot is not "fact" because it relies on energy and interpretation. Plus, I (and many others, I believe) would argue, genuine intuitive and psychic skills - althought that is not 100% necessary, as you can still read cards without either (or, at least, psychic abilities).

Now, as for the cards being "wrong", most often than not, it's one of 3 cases (or it's 2 or all 3, at once):

The interpretation of the cards is wrong, for one reason or another.

Energy changes!, and the reading might either be talking about the present (that won't be any longer; that is changing or will change), or the future (and they don't realize it, so by trying to make it fit into the present situation, they misinterpret it or dimiss it).

The cards are trying to tell the reader something else, yet they think those are the answers to their question (and so, again, they misinterpret it or dismiss it). This one happens specially with decks that are a little more stubborn or unique; Or, most often, when you insist too much on a question or matter, and then you are either being told to stop or you've messed too much with the energies, and so you're not being able or allowed to pick on them correctly any longer (or for a period of time).

[now onto my thoughts] As for Youtube videos, and more specifically Pick-a-Cards or viewer-centered readings, I personally found that I very rarely resonate with them, even if the interpretation is correct, yet I know many people who do. So, all in all, I'd say those are a hit or a miss, and it greatly depends on the person and on the reader. I still do Pick-a-Card posts for that reason - hoping they are found by the people they truly resonate with -, but also because I tend to choose a pile for myself before I do any readings and, in the end, those have always turned out to be pretty accurate. If they aren't, then I don't post the reading. That's about it.

But, the thing with those videos and posts is: Yes, some readers do it only for clicks (PACs and viewer-centered videos, I mean, but NOT ONLY) and don't bother with interpreting correctly or caring about the intention when pulling cards, so they never truly connect with or channel for the collective (the people who may come to pick that pile and video/post) or for whoever or whatever they are meant to. - and this is where and when your discernment should be used! Yet, yeah… I will say: it is difficult to read for a "collective" and have it resonate with most, still - and I'm not even saying "all", because that, I think, is absolutely impossible. Too many energies to pick up on is bound to confuse both the reader and the cards, and not everyone (or no one) has the time, attention or skill to select and organize all of those messages. So keep that in mind, too.

But then, when it comes to their general readings on events or celebrities, for example [and now referring to your ask and questions, as well], not only is it, too, a case of someone being genuine or not (which shouldn't be too hard to figure out), but also a matter of how sensitive they are to certain energies. As I've said multiple times here, I think, one reader is never the same as another, and each and every one will, inevitably, pick up on more specific details or parts of the overall energy/event/story/person, depending on their practice, gifts, skills, etc. Still, the basis of the readings should still be about the same, and many of the things mentioned by those different readers should overlap, I suppose. If not, then either the reader(s) is(are) full of shit, or they don't know what they're doing for certain.

As for not believing in readings on a certain matter, such as the hotel one, that I can't tell you too much about… There might be something to it, but idk… If the cards keep saying the same thing, shouldn't we listen and consider those messages, either way? And if they don't… "then either the reader(s) is(are) full of shit, or they don't know what they're doing for certain". 🫠

I just think the key here is to find an actual trusted (and true/legit) reader and/or psychic medium and see what they say. - That should be your best chance or getting an "accurate" reading on those energies and the whole situation. They, at least, should be able to remain neutral to the narratine that is/was being spun, and pick up on + tell the actual story, to whatever degree their abilities allow. But also, when you're talking about such heavy matters and energetically-charged events or places, it's only natural that it gets tricky for anyone who tries to read on it, no matter how skillful and/or gifted. - thought I should say that, too.

Also, I want to say another thing: Be careful, people, when you do readings for yourself or others! Specially if you are a beginner and/or you're being too careless and easygoing about it all! Be watchful and precise when it comes to calling upon anyone or anything. And, before you begin a reading, always make it clear (and make sure) that you have good intentions and, ideally, ask for protection from your God(s) and/or Angels, for instance. Plus, as I said before, cleanse! Always. - and this is not meant to scare anyone, only educate! my goal is for you all to be safe while enjoying your time with your practice and your experience with tarot 💗

[luvstappen]

nessie babe im so lost why do i feel like ive been reading it all wrong lmao didnt she realized she had a crush on oscar then ran to lando but realized she was wrong in doing so and so she wanted to make things right with osc? and she even got encouragement from lando? then HOW IS SHE NOW TALKING TO OSC ABOUT MAKING THINGS OFFICIAL WITH LANDO? DID I MISS SOMETHING? i mean has my mind tricked me and i read all wrong lmaoooo istg it’s not even that im mad at yn for that or anything okay i support all mistakes 🧡 im just genuinely wondering if im an idiot bc im confused now, lollll

haha dw it’s okay <3 you’re not an idiot, i promise!

of course, a lot of things in the story happen off screen, out of social media, or simply just go unsaid, so readers are meant to piece things together from the small bits they do see. it’s like we’re only getting glimpses of the full picture. for example, y/n doesn’t only text gigi when she’s hurting or when it’s convenient for her, like the story usually shows. they’re having plenty of conversations throughout the day (whether in person or via messages), but we only see the ones that are relevant to the plot, so it wouldn’t feel unnecessary and superfluous. the same logic applies to other character interactions and developments.

and to explain the situation, y/n had a crush on oscar, but when he (in her eyes) rejected her, she panicked and ran straight to lando as a way to protect her feelings. they talked things out, got together, and she tried to suppress whatever she felt for oscar to focus on her relationship with lando.

so when she was talking about making things right with oscar, she meant as friends, not romantically. they used to spend so much time together, and then suddenly, he wasn’t in her life at all. that absence felt wrong to her, so she wanted to fix it.

basically, even though she’s now with lando and their relationship has progressed, it doesn’t erase the fact that she missed oscar. and well... if there were any lingering feelings, both of them are trying to repress them. when they were at jimmyz together, they probably didn’t want to revisit the past or dive into what happened. what matters is that they’ve moved past it, and even after everything, she felt comfortable enough to open up about her situation with lando to oscar :)

does that make sense? 💕

[meiko3323]

Maxine (Arlefuri kiddo)

finally decided its time to sit down and finish designing her! you may see this is just a sketch, as ive yet to finalize the colour scheme of her outfit, im still weighing my options. split bw black and lavender/ purple for the dominant colour. the former looks cool, but the latter prob fits her motif better. anyway, for now let me tell you a bit more abt her:

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Name: Maxine (prefers Max for short)

Pronouns: she/ her

Vision: (undecided)

Weapon: (undecided)

outfit details (in case its hard to read):

- has an arm band on her right arm, gifted to her by her friend [REDACTED]. it has the (teyvatian) letter M embroidered on it, for her first name

- has a side pouch on her belt w some basic first aid stuff and dog treats

- short fingerless gloves on both hands

- has both elbow and knee guards that are in a water drop shape w an X inside

- has a dagger strapped to the top of her left boot

- forgot to note: the center bit on top of her tie is a romaritime flower, to mirror the one on her head

About Max (childhood):

due to Arlecchino often having to be away on Harbinger/ Fatui missions, Max was raised mainly by Furina. that said, Arle does try her best to be there for her daughter, spending time w her whenever shes free, and often brings Max little souvenirs from her travels.

while Max was a baby, Furina took a sabbatical from her directing work to raise her. she instilled in Max an appreciation of the arts, with her skillful reenactments, and puppet shows of various plays and stories. once Max is a bit older, Furina starts taking up jobs again, leaving her child in Neuvillettes care at the Palais Mermonia, and picking her up at the end of the day. Neuvi doesnt mind, as Max is a well-behaved kid and either brings books w her to read, or draws while shes there. Sedene and the other melusines take a shine to her, making sure Max never has a shortage of snacks and tea throughout the day.

About Martin:

Martin is her loyal canine companion. she found him as a puppy, tangled in some fishing nets. of course she begs her parents to take him in, and they acquiesce on the condition that he is her responsibility now. since then Martin never leaves her side, even accompanying her on Hearth missions

About Max (hobbies): Max really likes nature, and ever since she found Martin stuck in nets carelessly left behind by some fishers, she took to cleaning litter in her free time.

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i think thats all ive got for now ^^

im a sucker for animal companions, so ofc i had to give her a dog. he is named Martin after my dads german shepherd he had when i was a baby 🐶

Max's redacted friend that gave her the arm band is a future oc im working on cuz yes, shes gonna have friends, two of them in fact! no spoilers as to which genshin couples theyll be kiddos of, but any of yall that know me will probably have some good guesses 😸

still cant believe i went from thinking id never design an oc, to having a whole 3 now

thank you to my entire hoyofam for inspiring me and cheering me on thru this process, yalls fervent support means the world to me 💕