#the fact is that our experience of watching and engaging something is always going to have an enormously subjective aspect to it

[kathleenkatmary]

It's always funny when I see a post or review of a show that insists the writing is bad as an objective assessment because they find a character hard to root for, and then everything they go on to say to try to support that is not actually an objective assessment and so clearly just them having some deep personal issues that they're projecting onto that character. Especially when it's combined with that things that's becoming more and more common lately where people just like, think that a character is badly written from the get go because they haven't already completed their character development by the end of the first episode.

[yourwitchybrother]

Working with Odysseus!

Today, I come to you with some insight into the hero work part of my practice. I work very closely with Odysseus, he and I have a rather close bond with one another. As it stands right now, he doesn't yet have an altar. But I do plan on making him one when I can.

So, let's talk about how I honor and work with Odysseus in my practice.

Honoring Odysseus

In my prayers, I address Odysseus with gratitude and appreciation. He has been a more human teacher of mine since he entered my life, and he sort of serves as a buffer when I'm not communicating with deities. Communicating with Odysseus, in my experience, is a lot clearer, but not as concise. He has a lot to say when I do tarot with him!

He is also a huge fan of my shufflemancy playlist, and he adores the playlist I've made for him on Spotify. He likes music a lot. As another form of honoring him, his playlist has become my workout playlist for the gym.

For some context; Odysseus entered my life to help me become more active during a deep depressive rut I was stuck in back in my freshman year of college. I was fresh out of a toxic household, away from home for an extended period of time for the first time, I was coming out of survival mode and it was harsh on my mind and body. I was realizing just how toxic my home environment was, and it made me angry.

I took this energy out at the gym.

Odysseus also accompanied me when my partner and I were going through a really rough patch in our relationship. Communicating got difficult as we both went through our own issues, but Odysseus pushed me to keep trying, even when it got tough, and it helped greatly.

If you're unaware, Odysseus adores his wife, Penelope, more than anything. He tells me about her, sometimes. How sweet she is, how delighted he is to be with her forever, now. It's nice to listen to. He's been helpful in getting through the rough patches with my partner, especially while we're long-distance for the foreseeable future. The difference is, I can contact my partner within an instant, even from a distance. He envies this. However, I value communication with my partner because Odysseus has taught me how to cope with the distance. This is another way that I honor him.

My Relationship with Odysseus

Recently, Odysseus has become more of a mentor than he once was. He and I are close, we've been building a relationship for a little while, and despite taking me under his wing to help with navigating my future endeavors, he's still someone that I'd consider a friend. And that's odd to say when you remember the fact that he's a spirit and I'm a human, but it's how we mutually view one another.

He watches me sing Epic: The Musical and is thoroughly entertained by the ways in which his legacy lives on. He enjoys seeing me engage in physical activity, and work out. I started doing calisthenics and he's been a huge fan of that. When I worked my camp counselor job this past month, he loved seeing me interact with the kids, talk to them, and bond with them.

Odysseus can be a goofball, but he can also be serious whenever the need arises. That's something you shouldn't forget if you work with him.

He is also very bold. I bought a candle for Neptune and I think Odysseus took it over for about a week before Neptune actually got his hands on it. A very bold move on his part.

Conclusion!

I always struggle with describing my relationships with heroes because I don't know how to explain them in a way that people will understand. It's a lot of clairaudience, a lot of dream work. It's a deep bond that I've worked to form. Feel free to ask questions or inquire further in my inbox! Blessed be, and may the Sun be your guide. A domani!

[fizzigigsimmer]

So I went to the Upside Down con on Sunday, and got a picture with Joe. I also sat in on a panel with him, Mason & Grace, which resulted in me introducing @robthegoodfellow to the absolute shudder fest that is Flowers In The Attic, later at the hotel. But before we were subjecting ourselves to incest flavored southern gothic horror, there was the con - which was way more chill than I was expecting.

Anyway some reflections, observations and a few pics under the cut. Sorry there aren’t a lot of pictures. My dinosaur phone is full of apps for work and has storage issues.

I’ve been to a few of these types of events in the past and it is always a mixed bag. Overall I thought Epic did a great job of keeping things organized and moving swiftly. It was a younger crowd on Sunday so there was generally speaking a very lighthearted atmosphere to the whole thing and generally less “mania” as some of the larger cons I have been to. But on the other hand, I think a touch of the fan frenzy has its place lol. You love to see the costumes and feel the energy… there’s something about being in a space full of people who all really love something who have come to celebrate hard - the celebratory festival vibes I think is what I missed most from this convention. But that said, it’s super young, it was a great time, and there’s always room to grow.

I will never be over the disappointment of missing Dacre, but meeting Joe was lovely. It was obvious that he was tired and (to me) he seemed a bit awkward and anxious, but it made the experience better because he was so normal about the way he welcomed and spoke to everyone despite these things. He felt real to me in a way that not everyone does. My rose tinted glasses and giddiness aside, I left the interaction feeling not like I had met someone important or been in the presence of ‘SOMEONE’ but rather that I had stood next to a nice guy who’d been told only minutes before where to stand, but who did it with sincerity.

I observed this not just in our blink and you’ll miss it interaction, but with everyone I watched him meet that day. He smiled and engaged with people, making little jokes and comments to make them feel welcome; despite the fact that besides Millie he had the largest crowds, and this was the last day so he must have been drained. He’s very good with kids. I enjoy kids but don’t find them the easiest to immediately connect with/talk to, so I admire folks who can just immediately get on their level and banter with them and that’s what I observed with Joe as he met younger fans. In answer to a question of how he became the babysitter he said it came natural because he grew up with four sisters and he’s used to it. Also, when he initially met the younger cast they were already smarter than him “so it all just came together”.

On the panel, which he could have easily dominated, he was never first to speak unless a fan directly pointed a question at him. This allowed for Grace and Mason to speak just about as often as he was speaking. Which was a relief because the imbalance of the panel was something that I as well as other attendees had noticed. Our group had actually had a discussion about this and whether we should or shouldn’t ask Joe direct questions with a young woman sitting near us as we waited for the panel to start. A few fans did end up directing their questions solely at Joe, but it wasn’t as imbalanced as we feared it could be and I think that’s due in part to the audience’s mindfulness but also to Joe being so laid back and willing to take a back seat. Literally, lol he sat in the furthest chair that was blocked by a big column in the center of the room. When he did speak he was funny and once again came off as very easy going and authentic. The Steve vibes were strong with many of his answers to random questions - particularly the one about what other role they’d take in the industry if they could. His was prop design, because it would be fun to see what he could come up with and what chaos might result. He then made a little joke about bringing some sort of rice when they had asked for knives.

This is no slight to Joe as an actor but more of a critique/observation of the Duffers, but I am even more convinced than I was before that Steve’s core is Joe and that the character we get is pieced from Joe’s acting choices. I think they were being very literal with the fact that they loved him as a person and decided to keep him around. It feels very much like when they ditched their original plan for the character they also tossed most of the character development around it. Now when they find him things to do each season I would put money down on the mindset being 80% “ooh we’d love to see Joe do this thing or say this thing!” and only about 20% who is Steve and what would he do. The end result is Steve/Joe are now only separated by very thin lines. While it’s not how I would do things it’s not a terrible thing across the board - Steve is after all very lovable and we got 5 seasons with him. Anyway, I could be wrong but that’s my honest take.💁🏾‍���️

I would love to pick Joe’s brain one day and hear more about how he finds Steve in the soup and where he thinks the threads of character are (or were). Maybe one day!

[deathofacupid]

weighing scale

tw: eating disorder (purging, not eating), bodyshaming, ed shaming

btw, if it's requested, i can turn drabbles into full oneshots!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are beautiful the way you are, and nothing anybody ever says or does will ever change that. remember that gaining weight is totally normal, and you can always lose weight, too, but please, do it in a healthy way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, and this isn't just for eds, i'm here, and you can reach out. if not, there are people who care about you and love you.

you're amazing you beautiful mfs

(also i'm sorry if this might not be correct for you, everyone has different experiences with eds)

(also, also, i did 1st person ... and this is just the way i thought when i was going thru this so i kinda made it relate w/ me??)

100.

98.

96.

she watched as the numbers went down, satisfied despite the fact that it was only one pound less yesterday.

90.

88.

even if it meant that she'd always be cold, or that her hair would fall out. it was a small price to pay to be beautiful. to be skinny. to be like all the other girls that peter liked.

y/n kept telling herself that. and it was enough to keep her going.

{four weeks prior}

(first person)

they had little packets for us to take home, like forms. something along the lines of "annual health check-up." the form was just... well, it wasn't a form, really, but more of an opt-out. the paper said they'd just check weight, height, and some other things, like make sure you didn't have scoliosis.

honestly?

i was just happy to be missing a good chunk of math.

everyone got called down to the gym by period, and mine was 5th period, right before lunch.

our class was waiting for them to call us down, so mr. callen just let us do whatever until then. i glanced over to see liz, kayla, and chloe in the corner of the classroom, giggling and pointing towards some of the boys, and eventually, mr. callen.

he was one of the youngest members on faculty, fresh out of college. and i'll admit, he's not bad looking. in fact, he's hotter than most of the guys. and if it wasn't peter that had my heart, maybe i'd think about someone else.

not that the whole peter thing was going great anyways, he seemed interested in liz. so maybe that was my hint to move on. but i don't know. i've just liked him forever, it'd feel wrong to stop now.

i'm just really loyal, i guess.

or maybe this is some weird first love/crush thing, because no matter what, i keep finding myself coming back to him.

it took me second to realize that i'd been staring at the same spot for a while now, so i probably looked funny. i re-adjusted my position and looked at the clock, noting there there was just a few minutes until we'd have to go down.

i looked by at the girls, then at the teacher. did they not realize that he had an engagement ring on? or where they just dense?

because honestly, i'm having a hard time figuring out which one it is.

liz pushed chloe over to the desk, giggling like a manic.

chloe bit her lip, trying to hold in laughter. "hiiii, cal. you know, like, cupid's day is coming?"

me, personally, i didn't really believe in the whole dumb blonde thing, but chloe was changing my aspect on this.

cupid's day was on valentine's day, and you could pay a dollar to have a rose delivered to someone. normally, the freshmen girls did most of the planning. freshmen girls were annoying. they were always together, and i didn't remember a time i'd seen one alone.

i didn't get any on my first year here. last year i got three. but it didn't really count, because mj got me one and betty did. i was hoping that i'd figure out who the third person was, but three weeks into that investigation, i kinda gave up. if they hadn't revealed themselves to me at that point, i'd figured that they probably wouldn't.

maybe junior year will go better.

if you were popular popular, you got at least seven, so it was kind of embarrasing to only get one. and it was probably even more embarrasing to only have, like, one friend. which was betty. but she hadn't hung around me that often since she started dating ned.

mj was an observer, and i knew that much. it was probably the only reason she got me a rose, because she felt bad. but then again, anyone could see how pathetic it was.

peter and i used to be pretty close, but then he met ned, so the attention he gave me got halved.

i would have tried to be friends with ned, because i know he's really nice, but i stressed out too much about it for some reason and gave up. social anxiety, perhaps? it didn't matter, it was too late to do anything about it now.

after that, peter started hanging around liz and some of the other popular kids, and entirely forgot about me.

did forget about ned, though. maybe beacuse i was a girl, and so peter got called "gay" a lot for that. i didn't have much of a chance compared to liz, so i just admired him from afar. it's not that we didn't talk, because we did sometimes, but... actually, i don't know what.

if peter wanted to, he would have.

and it's fairly obvious, but i'm delusional and chose to ignore that.

the intercom snapped me out of whatever zoning out i'd gone back to, "block d, block d. i-is this on? oh, it is? i- yes, block d down to the gym."

everyone got up and pushed their way out the door, i didn't have that type of energy, so i just waited for everyone to get their butts outta the way and then went myself. i followed them down to the hall, staying behind a little. when i finally got over there, i ended up last, right behind chloe, kayla, then liz.

for the most part, it only took a minute or two for each person, so the line didn't take that long.

well, i suppose that's subjective.

it took 15 minutes, but whatever.

when liz was inside, she didn't take care to close the door all the way, leaving it a couple inches open. that's on her.

that's on her for being irresponsible, so it's not really my fault if i accidently hear. i leaned in a little, suddenly very interested in the wall, with all it's cracks... and... paint, and...

"and step on the scale, please... that is," she paused, and you could hear scribbling of a pen.

"121.3 pounds. perfectly healthy. that's actually the average weight for girls your age," another pause, "make sure to give this form to your parents. have a nice day."

liz said something in return and i stepped back, done admiring the wall. "next!" the lady called in.

i stepped inside the room, and it smelt strongly of hand-sanitizer. "okay, honey, step up against the wall... height is... alrightly. now the scale, please."

i did as she asked, keeping my eyes trained on the numbers.

149.7 pounds. basically 150. that was more than liz's, right?

"149, okay, you're good to go-"

"is that around average weight?" i asked, and it was impulsive, i didn't even think.

"well, it's somewhere around that. you're perfectly healthy."

the intercom came on again, signaling my time was over, and the lady thought the same thing, because she ushered me out.

as i walked back to the classroom, i couldn't help but think;

149? no, 150? around average? so basically, i was above average. 30 pounds heavier than liz? no wonder peter likes liz better.

god, that's disgusting. i'm disgusting.

i trudged back to class, unable to stop thinking about it. and suddenly, an idea popped into my mind; why not lose weight? if i lost a little, maybe peter would care about me again.

that's genius. god, i'm a genius.

yeah. i lose a little weight.

when i got back, he'd already started the lesson, not that i cared. i spent the rest of that class figuring out the kinks, like how many calories i'm allowed to eat per day.

i settled on 800.

it seemed like a decent number if i wanted to actually make an impact with weight loss.

stupid kale smoothies weren't gonna get me anywhere, nor idiotic influencer workout routines.

before i knew it, the bell rung and kids were hustling through the hallways. i was kind of on autopilot as i walked to lunch, not really watching where i was going. i'd by mistake shouldered some people, and they gave me dirty looks. i shot them right back.

i couldn't help but silently, in my mind, judge everyone's body that i saw. and not just their body, but other physical features, too. it was automatic, i didn't even mean to. but i couldn't help it.

she's really fat. the gym exists for a reason.

how is she so skinny? i know she's anorexic.

and it just went on and on.

i didn't know what was going on. why this mattered to me all of a sudden.

it was like i didn't notice these things before, i wasn't looking for them, but now that i knew they were there, i couldn't help it.

i couldn't help a lot of things.

when i walked into the lunchroom, i saw peter sitting by himself, writing on some piece of paper, and if i knew him, he wasn't doing the homework due tomorrow.

he was doing yesterday's.

it didn't seem like i'd be bothering him if i went to go talk to him, so that's what i did. i figured since we hadn't talked in while, it would be great to now.

and it'd be a great distraction, too.

i sat down across from him, "hi, peter."

he looked up slowly, a smile rising on his face. "uh, hey, y/n/n," peter paused, "what, um, what did you need?"

"huh? oh, i didn't need anything. just thought i'd come by and annoy the hell out of you."

"just like old times," peter snorted.

"math homework?"

"yep. i have math-"

"-next period," i realized my mistake after i made it. "um, 'cause i see you when i'm walking to class."

in repsonse, he nodded like he was considering it.

i didn't notice i was hungry until my stomach growled, but something inside of me made the thought of getting food and eating it repulsive. i hesitated before grabbing on of peter's fries and popping it in my mouth. he didn't say anything, or really even care, and i didn't know if i liked that or not.

"okay. you have chem next, yeah?"

i blushed at the fact he knew.

"uh, yep," i snagged some more fries, feeling myself loosen up.

and then i realized, that's what this was; i was just in need of some time with actual people who weren't my parents.

i liked this. i liked talking to peter. it was easy. this was easy.

we laughed about some other things, like flash's new donkey haircut.

and i stole more fries. ned, betty, and mj (who normally sat two seats away) came over. the topic of cupid's day came up.

"how many do you think you'll get?" betty asked.

i looked up, "roses?"

"uh-huh."

ned spoke up, "you won't need to worry, bet, i'll get you a whole bouquet." he looked proud of himself.

"i'm not worried," she giggled, like the lovesick fool she was. it was gross. and yes i admit, it was slightly because i was jealous, but whatever. betty didn't have to act so idiotic and desperate.

betty's skinny, too.

"what about you, y/n?" peter said, locking eyes with me.

"i dunno. i never really get any."

something changed in peter's expression, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.

i took another fry. they were really good, for some reason.

"fattie," peter laughed, pulling his lunch tray back, "and then you complain about not getting roses!"

that caused a round of laughs in the small group, but my heart dropped to my feet.

i was right. i was overweight. even peter noticed.

freaking peter noticed.

god, i was ugly and fat, and even peter saw that.

of course he liked liz. he'd be crazy not to. she was curvy and skinny and petite and pretty and skinny.

she was skinny.

i didn't have her hourglass figure.

never did i ever want out of my own skin more.

"y/n?" pete frowned. "i-i'm sorry, it was a joke, i didn't-"

"no, no, not that. i, uh, i... forgot i was supposed to meet with a teacher. sorry. i have to go."

i didn't go to any teachers.

i did go to the bathroom.

and i hid in the handicapped stall. i didn't cry, or sob, or weep or whatever it was stupid girls did in hallmark movies or stuff.

i stood in front of the mirror and picked out everything i hated, making a mental list in my head.

i didn't finish that list, not even after 30 minutes when the bell rung.

-

the rest of the day flew by rather quickly, it seemed. i felt like i was trapped in a warm haze, but not the fuzzy, happy warmth. i didn't like the way i was thinking. it's like i wanted my brain to turn off, these intruding, ugly thoughts were taking up too much room.

i felt icky.

when i got home, i didn't have my normal after-school snack like i usually did. i went straight upstairs and did homework.

i finished two essays (one that wasn't due until two weeks, and one that was due two days from now), my math homework and studied for my math test, started my science project, and did my french flashcards (and studied them a bit).

i must have been locked in my room for hours, because by the time i got up, it was dark outside.

i wasn't a studious person, and the only reason i did any of this was to forget for a little while. to snap out of it. and for a while, it worked.

"y/n, honey!" my mom screamed from downstairs, and as i glanced at the clock, i realized it was time to have dinner.

but i wasn't hungry.

well, i was.

let me rephrase that; i didn't want to eat.

however, i didn't want my mother yelling at me, so i went down anyways. not that i was planning to eat.

"mom?"

"oh, hey. i already set the table, you seemed like you were working hard and i didn't wanna bother you. dad's working late. go sit down-"

"not hungry."

she frowned. "well, you have to eat something."

"but i'm not hungry," i said, hating how sharply it came out.

my mom gave me warning look. "look, i've had a long day, so don't start with me."

"mommmm," i whined.

"sit."

so i did. i felt bad about bothering her.

i ate. small, tentative bites, forcing it all down. we didn't talk.

silently, i put my dish in the sink, before heading upstairs. the food sat at the bottom of my stomach, like a pile of heavy rocks. i wanted them out.

so i turned on the shower and locked the bathroom door, kneeling in front of the toilet. i pressed my fingers to the back of my throat and kept them there for a second. at first, all i got was bile.

but then i threw up.

-

peter and i started talking more again. i think he got in a fight with liz.

i asked him if they were dating, and he said no.

i think he started hanging out with me again because i got skinny. i know for a fact that i'm skinnier than liz. i weigh less then her now.

the numbers told me that.

but i didn't listen.

i didn't stop, and how could i? when i'd gotten this far?

-

we got in a fight. not the yelling kind, though. well, kind of. i yelled a bit.

i thought he was complimenting me. he said i looked skinny, so i thanked him.

"no... i-" he paused, trying to get his thoughts together, "you look skinny, yes, but not in a good way."

"what? what do you mean? like, there's only a good way," i laughed, slightly nervous.

peter ingnored that. "have you been eating enough, angel?" his voice was soft, but there was worry in it. why was he worried? this is the best i've ever been.

"do you ask liz that, too?"

"i- what?"

"liz is skinny. you don't ask her that."

"that- that is different. y-you haven't been eating, have you? is-"

"god, parker! stop! it's none of your business!" maybe if i hadn't been so flustered, i'd have come up with a better comeback.

-

i was hunched over the toilet, but nothing was coming out. everything hurt.

my head. my stomach.

my throat was scratchy and raw.

i didn't hear the knocking on the door.

i don't really remember peter coming in. i thought i locked it. what was he doing at my house? i couldn't remember.

i wanted to sleep.

i think i was crying. i don't know. i only vaguely remember the hot tears.

i slightly remember him pulling me away from the toilet and into his arms. there were lots of holes in my memory for that day.

he stayed with me, though. one thing i'm sure about is that peter never left my side. i can recall bright lights. tubes. i was laying on something. white walls. white sheets.

what was engraved into my head was peter whispering "i love you" over and over again. in the bathroom. in the car. was it a car? as they hooked me up to cables.

all that mattered, though, was that i was skinny now. just the thought made me feel light and airy.

to think that all it took was a little motivation and a weighing scale.

[aurik-kal-durin]

How my obsession with shipping spoiled Avatar: The Last Airbender for me.

I'm an OG Avatar fan. I watched the show when it first aired in February of 2005. I was 15 years old.

Right away, I knew Aang and Katara were gonna be a thing. It was so obvious, and it only became more obvious as Season 1 went on. More so in Season 2 and Season 3. The show never let you forget about it, as even outside of overtly Kataang-centric episodes like The Fortuneteller and The Cave of Two Lovers, they kept bringing it up in some form or another.

Unfortunately, Zutara was a thing, and they never shut up about it. Despite all evidence to the contrary, they insisted up and down that Zuko and Katara were meant to be together. I was a Zutara shipper for a short time, and I admit that I thought it would be canon too in the weeks leading up to Crossroads of Destiny. After the Season 2 finale, I went with the flow, and sided with Kataang... and that's where the problems began to really start.

You see, the Zutara fandom got really toxic right after Season 2 ended. Kataang fans like myself didn't appreciate it, and before I knew it... watching Avatar: The Last Airbender was no longer about just enjoying the show. It was about winning. Just so we could gloat when Zutara inevitably lost.

I could no longer just watch the show and relax. I was on the edge of my seat during each episode, keeping a sharp eye out for the slightest hint of Kataang, and spent the weeks between each episode arguing with strangers online about shipping, trying to convince a brick wall that it was not made of steel... if you will indulge me the metaphor.

In short, shipping wars sucked all the joy of watching Avatar: The Last Airbender. By engaging in shipping wars with rabid Zutarians, I kind of ruined the show for myself. Not entirely my fault, because the Zutara fans back then were easily-triggered bullies who just would not stop, which made it hard to ignore them... but nonetheless, I feel like all of us should've ignored them. Their ship was never going to be canon, everyone knew it after Crossroads of Destiny. All except for this toxic vocal minority whose enjoyment of the show hinged on whether or not their ship became canon.

Unfortunately, some Kataangers (such as myself) got so upset about it (and so obsessed with it) that our enjoyment of the show also hinged on our ship being canon.

How bad was it? Bad enough that I can no longer call Avatar: The Last Airbender my favorite show of all time. Why? Because the experience of watching it the first time was STRESSFUL. So stressful, in fact, that I usually can't go back and watch it again.

Compare that to other shows I've watched... like Hilda, on Netflix. That was a very relaxing show to watch the first time around, and because of that I feel like I can go back and watch it whenever. But Avatar, sadly, only brings back memories of stress and anxiety... stemming from an unhealthy obsession with something stupid.

P.S. Why the hell did we ever call it "Kataang"? Who is the IDIOT that came up with that name? I always thought that was a stupid name for our ship. Why not "Aangtara" or "Kataraang"?

[flowered-mp3]

I’m the anon from the boyfriend question 😅

Ohh that’s so nice …. i actually remember when you were first getting to know him…. like the first dates?!! it was very cute!

I’m so happy that you and him are okay and that you are apparently engaged (?)

Sorry if that question sounded weird but from time to time i remember you and your work and since you havent been posting about him i wondered if it worked out.

Anyways, as i said i’m really a fan of your blog!

Can i ask you if you are still following and stanning GOT7? I really hope so!

This year i got to know mark and bambam and was amazing, they really deserve all the love from us.

no worries hahaha it's all good. also yes I am v much still a bird DON'T U WORRY! praying for a group cb in 2025 🥹

my bf also wanted to answer the first part of ur ask anon, so he typed something up to say lol it's v long lmao he's so goofy jansjwakajsnjs 😭:

"Hello friends and fans of my gf. This is really funny because I actually don't know my gf's username. She refuses to let me take a look at this blog so I had to write this blurb on my own and send it to her to post. Anyways, I was tasked with making a small update on our relationship and I jumped at the opportunity.

For a short word summary, we are doing very well. I don't think I've ever felt as comfortable and confident in a relationship as much as this one. It's incredibly liberating being able to be 100% myself with her and not having to dial anything back. Just that fact alone, is 80% of the reason as to why I want to marry her. Now, before anyone gets too excited we aren't engaged yet, but it will absolutely happen. I may or may not have written out the blueprint of how it's going down in the future, but I'll let my gf fill you in on the details when it happens.

In terms of what our relationship looks like now, it normally boils down to one of us going to the other's house, cooking meals together in the kitchen, and then us watching a show/reading together.

Quick sidenote, she got me into the ACOTAR series and god damn I can't believe this jackass Rhysand has managed to win me over. This probably sounds a little boring and admittedly on paper it does, but I really do enjoy it. There's always some dumb or silly shit we'll do or say that'll get us to laugh uncontrollably and even if that laughing moment doesn't come, it's honestly just a nice feeling to have her presence around.

One of the biggest fears, I've personally had with relationships has always been the end of the honeymoon phase. When the spark dies, and slowly the life of the relationship begins to drain and eventually someone bows out.

However for the first time, I don't really fear that happening. I think it's partly the fact that we don't need to be constantly doing adventurous or exciting experiences in order for us to enjoy our time together. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be able to hit up a concert, go to a friend's party, bouldering, or something. But we both know that it's not required in order for us to enjoy spending time with each other. The other part as to why I feel that fear has gone away is that her love and devotion to me has never really been called into question. She always brings it, even when she's going through it, even when I'm annoying the hell out of her, her desire to want to be with me never seems to waver. And I'm not sure if I ever experienced that before. Knowing that through hell and highwater she'll always be there in my corner is what makes me love her that much more and only strengthens the devotion I have towards her.

ANYWAYS, to bring it all back I do really feel like I met my person and I'm happy to go through life knowing that I'll be at her side. Hope you all enjoyed the update, she absolutely thinks that I went overkill on this post but I felt like I had to. Catch y'all later :D."

[bengiyo]

Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse Characterization and Loving Queer Men

Folks have been posting some excellent rebuttals about Akk and Ayan in response to the question: Are they acting out of character. I enjoyed @respectthepetty reminding us that they’ve always been this way. My fandom soulmate @shortpplfedup has been going off this morning about Akk, Ayan, Kan, and Thua. Fellow clown @lurkingshan has also posted about the lines between actors and their characters. What I want to talk about today is the misuse and abuse of the tools of criticism to just say the vibes were off for you.

I want to get this post out before I watch episode 2: I will say this clearly as we begin: It is completely okay to say that you had hoped for one thing to happen and are disappointed that it didn’t turn out that way. Xiao Zhan gave us the best way to express this:

What bothers me so much about the instinct to deconstruct the characters and accuse them of being out of character for me is that it can be disingenuous to the characters, the actors, and the creative team. With The Eclipse in particular, you can’t watch this show without accounting for the violent response to the Thai student protests or the fact that Golf was unceremoniously ejected from their role in government. Gold has been using their characters as a mouthpiece for their ideas about the intersection of the personal and the political, as well as the role social media plays in protesting and fighting for change.

I was saving some of this for when A Boss and A Babe ended, but I want to also get this off of my chest. I see the debates about whether something is Queer Cinema or Boys Love cycle through once a season, and for me the conversation doesn’t matter. They’re all queer cinema, but they’re not always romances, and sometimes they pull from different film and cultural traditions. The real distinction for me is in the viewers. Ask yourself if you also love queer men (and other folks) when they aren’t being sexy, titillating, funny, or entertaining? Do you love us when we’re ugly, when we’re sick, when we’re old, when we’re being mean or catty? Oliver Sim of the xx recently revealed that he’s been living with HIV since he was 17. He’s “ugly.” Do you love him less now?

I often see viewers recoil from emotionally difficult themes and plotlines in these shows. I don’t begrudge people their needs to engage with content in a healthy way, but I find myself particularly defensive of the pain queer men feel as a queer man. I personally hate being told to smile all the time and present a personable face so that other people will like us more. I don’t want to put the kids through that. They can have messy plotlines that require you to embrace someone else’s complex humanity.

With the Suppalo boys in particular, folks have joked that they’re “my favorite war criminal” and “his rat bastard boyfriend.” These are not necessarily kind people. I call Akk and Ayan “Captain Repressed” and “Mr. Bad Bitch Walk.” These queer boys are messed up, and they won’t be the best communicators for quite some time. They are sorting out themselves and what their relationship will be, and this is the crux of Golf’s messaging.

It’s okay to be frustrated with a plotline, truly. I just ask that you consider if the feeling the show is bringing out in you is an intentional part of the viewing experience before questioning the characterization.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

[blood-mocha-latte]

~ miscellaneous tag game ~

tagged by the lovely @mutantmanifesto and @dontirrigateme <3

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

rough draw but munich! 'twas gorgeous and also where I got engaged

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

dragging my ass through college in two years and double majoring. nearly killed me but by god it's done

Favorite books?

the awakening by kate chopin - the woman in white by wilkie collins - all quiet on the western front by erich maria remarque - a tree grows in brooklyn by betty smith - letters from the 442nd by min masuda

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

mah wife (borat voice)

Favorite thing about your culture?

god what even is my culture. how unhinged would i sound if i said swamps and rigatoni

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

joined about three years ago but not on tumblr, but watched the pacific first

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

no because i. have a reading list and they aren't up in the queue lmao

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

leckie. he’s like. webster if webster was a wet cat what’s not to love. favorite moment is all moments ever EXCEPT for the sex scenes because what kind of hallucinogen did i take to have to watch that

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

i write fic and am. a little consumed by it at all times. i also make edits but am going through a bit of a rut with that so for now only writing thank you

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

eliza dushku for her wonderful performances in buffy the vampire slayer and angel (i'm gay. can you tell)

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

just this entire dick allen poem which is luztoye coded forever and ever

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

hm. idk. i once got bit by a raccoon in a bayou and had to get rabies shots for the next two weeks

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

i write everything by hand and then put in in the Computer which is like. a built in beta edit. and then mah wife (borat voice) betas for me because she's wonderful

Three things that make you smile?

mah wife (borat voice) (i'm predictable)

our air purifier (i’m old)

our vintage dog teapot

Any nicknames you like?

my name is three letters long like there's not a lot of leeway there. i went by adelasia for a while which is my middle name but like. that's it. does papera count

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@lamialamia is the pillar of my entire person at all times and genuinely one of the nicest people i’ve ever met. linh wrote this wonderful fic for the secret santa exchange, which i am currently reading and fawning over

@staud is easily one of the talented people in the entire hbo war fandom and has the fucking VISION for gifs and videos. most recent of which i’ve watched (and panicked about) being an incredible eugene sledge video. erin is also just fucking funny bro idk what to tell you

@mutantmanifesto is someone that is like. genuinely a celebrity to me. every time i see lenora’s drawings anywhere i have flashbacks like i’m in the louvre. also just a wonderful person with incredible taste

@ep6bastogne is on a tumblr hiatus right now but always deserves a shoutout. she did incredible edits of skinny sisk, eugene roe, ron speirs, and david webster for the secret santa exchange that changed my brain chemistry forever and is one of the warmest people i’ve ever talked to

@ewipandora is someone that i’m ALWAYS holding hands with <3. both a genuinely funny and wonderful person and has incredible taste in reblogs. ewi is currently doing a band of brothers ship series that i plan to Consume as soon as possible because i have no doubt that they’re incredible

@dcyllom is an incredibly underrated and kind part of my Dashboard Experience™ and is also just wonderful and one of my favorite Tumblr People :)

@educationalporpoises is a genius and an INCREDIBLE writer. zee was my secret santa gifter and this luztoye fic knocked it all the way out of the park and into the cemetery, which is how hard it slayed. also wins for best mutual handle

@almost-a-class-act is ridiculously supportive and kind, and a backbone of the hbo war fandom forever and always. sam’s also one of the best fucking writers to ever grace this earth, with the most recent thing i’ve read being this top notch luztoye fic <3

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

die. girl i work in an er i'd be the first to go

Favorite movie?

ladri di biciclette for all time favorite movie ever. a perfect movie

Do you like horror movies?

it depends entirely on the level of homoerotism that can be found in those movies. and also if matthew lillard is in it

Tagging:

everyone mentioned above as well as anyone who wants to do it since i have no clue who’s been tagged :)

[lurkingshan]

Shan! One of the things that I’ve loved learning during my Old GMMTV Challenge project is discovering filmmakers and watching through their project lists. Do you follow specific directors or screenwriters for Asian dramas? If so, who are they, and why? And which dramas of their do you recommend?

A fun one, and an area where I know we actually differ in our approach. In short, my answer to your first question is yes, but also no. :)

By which I mean, I generally do pay attention to who creates the shows I watch, because when I am impressed or infuriated by a drama I like to know who is behind it so I can look into their other work, either to pursue or avoid it. Sometimes I have to go looking for that information, but there are some creators who have such an obvious style that it sets them apart and makes it near impossible to miss the connections between their shows (Kim Eun Sook in kdrama, Aof Noppharnach and Jojo Tichakorn in tbl, Hwang Da Seul in kbl, Lin Pei Yu in twbl, etc). With those I might start something unknowingly and then be like wait a minute is this X’s work? I do maintain awareness and keep creators’ other works in mind when I watch something new because it's fun to look for themes across a body of work, and frankly, to know where the pitfalls are likely to come in.

That said, I do not feel any need to be a completist about any one auteur's resume, I don’t intentionally sit down to watch a creator's work in an organized way, and I actually prefer not to know that much about their personal lives, because I like to focus on the fictional stories without too much real world gunk getting in the way and clouding my reads. I am a "let the art speak for itself" girlie; I'm less interested in authorial intent than in allowing stories breathing room to be interpreted by the audience. I do believe in the Death of the Author school of thought and I don't think it's great when creators try to do too much to control how their work is perceived. One of my current beefs with the Only Friends watch experience is that there is so much real world gunk (branded pairs, shipping and actor stanning, creators posting on social media with context that is not included in the actual canon) getting in the way and messing with interpretations of the show.

Once you get into a fandom at all you will inevitably be exposed to a ton of this kind of thing whether you like it or not. And it comes up a lot in bl because so many shows are adapted from pre-existing source material and rely on known actor pairs, which inevitably affects discourse because people come to these shows with a lot of baggage even before they begin. But I am always interested in story first. I dove into I Feel You Linger in the Air and Absolute Zero with zero hesitation because timey wimey soulmate shit is my jam, not because these shows were made by Tee Bundit and New Siwaj (in fact that would be more of a deterrent than anything if I let it dictate my viewing choices).

So while I am interested in the undercurrent of melancholy across Aof's works, and Jojo's devotion to messy ensemble pieces where everyone is a little bit of an asshole, and Kim Eun Sook's uncanny ability to tap into the zeitgeist and create banger after banger across a range of genres, I don't need to know too much about why their areas of focus are important to them or how it relates to their personal experiences. I prefer not to use fiction as a means to psychoanalyze the real people who create it; instead I just try to engage with and appreciate their art as art and afford them respect as creative geniuses without making assumptions about how each work is meant to reflect their real experiences. Understanding some basic demographics about creators (as in, do they have the appropriate lived experiences to be telling the stories they choose) is about as far as my curiosity goes.

Question 1 TL;DR: I do like to pay attention to who creates the shows I watch so that I can follow the themes in their work, but I am not interested in following the creators themselves closely.

Question 2: who are the creators I recommend following? I have mentioned a lot of them above, and my overall recommendation is that if you are invested in a show, you should look to see who writes and directs it, not just who stars in it. Actors are of course important but usually it's the creative team behind them that really makes or breaks a drama, because they are the ones ultimately in control of the story. Having that grounding can be really helpful for setting expectations and in interpreting and processing what you watch, and also just for helping you find more of the kind of thing you will probably like. I’m extremely glad, for instance, that I watched Gay OK Bangkok before Only Friends, because it gave me a framework for understanding the themes they were likely to dig into. I also just finished watching Rainless Love in a Godless Land, which I was interested in due in large part to it sharing the same screenwriter as my all time favorite Taiwanese drama, Someday or One Day, and being able to pull out the similar themes and ideas across the two projects made it all the more interesting for me.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hello Lost I know you said you are busy but I just wanted to say that I remember you answering an ask about Eruri's popularity and you said Eruri is almost at its most popular and today I saw the aot ships spreadsheets from 2022 and it's interesting that Eruri was 86th most popular ship on ao3 in 2021 when I think Erwin was still alive in the anime? But in 2022 they jumped up to 53th place which is a huuuuuge jump for that list. Did Erwin's death brought more angst which made the ship more popular or was it the crate scene :D

I'm a bit out of touch with the anime time line but there is always a noticeable uptick in interest whenever a new series or episode airs. And there's certainly no denying that a lot of Eruri fans are unreconstructed angst junkies, so the crate scene has been pushing our buttons for years.

The Eruri fandom is certainly proving to be remarkably resilient. A lot of fans predicted the fandom would wither away to nothing as far back as 2016, when Erwin died in the manga and yet here we are, still producing amazing fic and art every day. Obviously the longevity of the fandom has a lot to do with Erwin and Levi's amazing characterisation and the depth and nuance of their relationship in canon. However I think one of the things that makes the Eruri fandom still so popular is that it's become self perpetuating. The Eruri fandom has always had a reputation for producing really high quality fic and art and that continues attracts new fans, regardless of what's going on in canon. In fact I think a lot of newer fans discover the ship through fanart and to a lesser extent fic. Some of these fans might go on to watch the anime and read the manga, but others only every engage with art and fic created by fans. This can lead to some "interesting" takes on Erwin and Levi's character, but that's another story.

I also suspect that the fact that the Eruri fandom attracts a slightly older demographic might have something to do with it too. I've got no hard evidence for this, other than my own experience, but I wonder if older fans have a tendency to stick with a ship for longer rather than jumping off to the next new thing?

Of course the fact that both Erwin and Levi are very easy on the eye does no harm either...

[silence-and-reveries]

YouTubers and LOA subreddits aren't actually helpful (short-rant)

Let me explain,

The various loa subreddits are kind of a cesspool. It's always some person who has no idea who you are trying to push their limiting beliefs about love and money onto other people.

You can never talk about sps cause nowadays people will call you limerent, you can't say you want to win the lottery (even though tonnes of people do!) cause they think it's not possible or that you're messing with the middle "oh you can get the money in any way, don't limit it to the lottery!"

Dafuq. No one tells anybody they shouldn't play the lottery. Rich people buy lottery tickets. Someone ALWAYS wins the jackpot eventually.

The 3D means nothing though and neither does other people's limiting perceptions about possibilities.

I hate how we call any person that doesn't immediately move on from a deep connection "limerent" these days. That term didn't even exist 50 years ago.

All of the classic and historical works of fiction, and even historical tales themselves portray romantic plots far more convoluted and disparaging than anything modern people experience nowadays. No one told these people that loving a person who you're in separation from was bad, that was literally the norm cause life was so much more chaotic.

People have to understand that circumstances can come in any form and that no one's circumstances mean really anything in regards to their manifestation. Because that's the fundamental principle of the law.

Another thing, we can't go around telling people their desires are bad for them. Cause that's stupid as fuck. Nobody chooses the things they get to desire, it's literally given to us by our higher-self, subconscious, divine self or whatever the fuck.

Yeah you can have tangible needs based on your 3D circumstances but as a manifestor you have the option to change the 3D itself or manifest something to change the 3D. Either way, we're still the operant power!

"You don't want to win the lottery, you want the feeling of wealth"

"You don't want that SP, you want the feeling of being in a loving relationship"

Like, this was literally posted today and all the comments are people agreeing. When it's fucking nonsense.

Literally shut the fuck up. No one tells engaged people they aren't actually in love, or tells business people that they don't actually want to have success. So wtf are we doing? Why do the mods let people say these kinds of things and reinforce people's limiting beliefs, literally killing their manifestation????

Please, if you can stop watching loa content creators on yt and stop reading subreddits (at least the posts that aren't success stories) cause these people don't read/listen to the source material and are making shit up to feel above others and ensure they're constantly dependent on them for advice, cause their manifestations are being sabotaged.

Never, ever give the 3D circumstances power over your subconscious mind or let it dictate what you should or shouldn't desire. Because that's you. The 3D is YOU. It would just be your past, unrealized self telling your current self to maintain the old ways. NEVILLE LITERALLY MENTIONS THIS

Idk idk, it's so upsetting to see posts like that first thing in the morning. I wish the mods would get over themselves and be more consistent.

Neville quotes about desires, limiting beliefs and the nature of the 3D

"Stop asking yourself whether  you are worthy or unworthy to receive that which you desire. You, as man, did not create the desire. Your desires are ever fashioned within you because of what you now claim yourself to be."

"Facts are the fruit bearing witness of the use or misuse of the imagination. Man becomes what he imagines. He has a self-determined history."

"Imagination is the way, the truth, the life revealed. We cannot get hold of truth with the logical mind. Where the natural man of sense sees a bud, imagination sees a rose full-blown."

"Truth cannot be encompassed by facts. As we awaken to the imaginative life, we discover that to imagine a thing is to make it so, that a true judgment need not conform to the external reality to which it relates."

"To passively surrender to appearances and bow before the evidence of facts is to confess that Christ is not yet born in you."

He says so many important things but people want to misconstrue his words for their own benefit. It's a problem.

[whimsicalpoet44]

Something that seems fun that I've seen other people do occasionally is post astro observations based on the current sun sign. So let's see how long I can keep up with it until I forget. 😂

Observations are my own and may not apply to everyone with these placements. And that's okay!

This will likely be oddly specific because I have 5 Sag placements and endless supply of Sag friends and will be generalized to all Sag placements 😂

Sagittarius Astro Observations in Honor of Sagittarius Season

💥 It's a well known fact that Sag Mercurys struggle with their words, but to some degree, I think all Sag placements struggle to communicate what they truly meant. It's just more focused on intent instead of literal communication.

💥 Though they are extroverts, most Sagittarius placements also need a level of solitude and comfortability to function. Your Sagittarius friends are going to be the ones in the corner laughing and talking amongst each other, appearing extroverted. But among themselves and the people they're comfortable with, they'll be planning their escape from the event while gossiping about their observations of others in the group. They're always secretly watching and perceiving, and their goal is to get somewhere they feel comfortable so they can continue to cut up and have fun.

💥 They communicate in sarcasm. Others perceive them as either funny for this or annoying. But Sagittarius individuals can always spot another Sag because they'll joke the exact same way. It's kind of scary to be honest lol As a Sag, talking to other Sag individuals is such a relief because it's like we have our own language at times.

I had a friend group where 3 of us were Sagittarius Suns and one of my friends was a Sag Moon. And we always said just enough to everyone else to appear engaged, but we often spoke to one another in dry and sarcastic jokes. The table often went silent if they overheard us and we would all just look at one another. This has happened to me in other gatherings with other Sag placements as well. (specifically Suns)

💥 This could be controversial, but I think Sag placements have a lot of chemistry with other Sag placements romantically. There's this deep inner understanding of one another As a Sagittarius myself, I find myself most attracted to other Sag individuals and have had similar sentiments said to me from my Sag friends.

Having a mind that works differently from the majority of other signs allows you to easily engage in conversation with other Sag individuals and there's just this deep innate respect and unvocalized acknowledgement of appreciation for their mind. Other Sag placements have the ability to match your energy and they love spending HOURS talking about the mysteries of the universe.

There's also an understanding that commitment is difficult and scary, so that takes a lot of the pressure off of the situation and allows us to focus on the conversation and just enjoy our time together. The closest sign I've found this similar camaraderie with are Gemini placements, Virgo placements, and Aquarius placements. But it's not quite the same.

Scorpio too, but it takes a really long time to build up the rapport to get to that point. So it takes away a lot of the mystery. Scorpio also wants to know your deepest darkest secrets, whereas Sags want to talk about the deep and dark mysteries of the world, but don't want to go too deep into their own traumas.

I've had convos with Sag individuals that lasted hours talking about how we'd solve humanitarian issues and what we were currently doing in activism circles, the mysteries of space, important moments in history, and how trauma can affect the development of an individual. But the single second you ask them about their own experience with trauma or what their childhood was like, they're out the door. 😂

💥 A lot of people say Sag placements are all talk and no bite, but I think they have a more overt approach that's similar to Scorpio. Where Scorpio moves in silence, Sag placements are going to tell you what they're going to do and how much it'll affect you. They might not throw hands, but they'll throw words that can cut you like a knife. They can also take action to make your life way harder than it should be. That's why a calm Sag is never a good sign.

If they are comfortable fighting, they'll let you talk all your talk and they'll stand there with a calm rage. Then they'll laugh (if you see a Sag laugh when they're angry, run 😂) and punch you right in the face. 😂 Can confirm from watching countless of my Sag friends 😂

💥 Sag placements are really open minded and understanding, so if they're annoyed with you they're either A) projecting onto you based off of a past experience with someone else (which is not ok) or B) you're likely just annoying. Or you crossed a boundary. But don't worry, they'll make sure you know (unless they have Pisces, Cancer, Libra, or 12th House Placements).

💥 On the flip side, ironically, Sag placements can be more vulnerable to culty belief systems and can struggle admitting the flaws associated with their own values. They usually get there eventually, but not without causing irreparable harm to themselves and others.

We saw a lot of this in the deconstruction movement with Saturn in Sag. Once they break the mold and expectations, they examine EVERYTHING from there on out with a fine tooth comb.

💥 Every person with prominent Sag placements that I know played Soccer in childhood.

💥 They are extremely loyal to a fault. So, if a Sag cuts you off, it's not a good sign.

💥 Sag placements are just happy to be invited to come along for the ride. They're the perfect "running errands" buddies, because they find an adventure in anything. They enjoy spending time with people that make them happy and their mutable energy allows them to go with the flow.

💥 They value honesty and they always try to get the truth in any situation. However, they also make great liars.

All mutable signs have this "two sided" energy to them. They can flip the switch at any moment when they've had enough. I think this is a valuable trait when used ethically and for the health and well being of the person with the sign.

For Example... Sagittarius = Half man, half centaur. Pisces = The two fish. Gemini = The twins. Virgo = The maiden (some believe the maiden represent Persephone - the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of Hell and is often used to depict duality).

💥 They're the perfect people to have around in crisis. Since they're so flexible, they can stay level headed and calm to address the problem. And they often have someone laughing by the end of it.

💥 Don't ever tell a Sag they can't do something because they'll make it their life mission to prove you wrong. All they need for motivation is pure spite. (I think I've pointed this out in other posts. But I literally have a whole degree because someone told me I couldn't do it. I was smirking at graduation when they came up to congratulate me)

💥 They're often misperceived to be arguing when they're just talking.

💥 Sag placements often show up for others but don't always get the same energy back. This is why they enjoy being in their own company. This is tenfold if their 8th/12th house is ruled by Sag.

They were often the only support system they had in childhood or they were ostracized from friend groups. They could've even been the outcast of the family for not assimilating into the familial belief system.

They don't worry a lot of the time because they know they'll always figure it out. Because they've been forced to fix every single one of their problems alone at some point in their life. Not to mention, Jupiter looks out for them in really hard times.

💥 They aren't lucky in everyday endeavors. They're lucky in crisis. When something bad happens, Jupiter saves the day. But they aren't inherently lucky all of the time.

💥 When things don't go their way, and they experience a string of bad luck, they check out. They throw their hands up and throw in the towel. Because if nothing is going right, then they're going to do what they want anyways. And they're going to be hopeful about it all. Sometimes, they become complacent and expect everything to fix itself, but they know deep down they have to crawl out of the hole they dug for themselves. Which they do. Eventually.

💥 Every Sagittarius I know, myself included, battles mental health issues, but they have this child like hope inside of them that they cling onto for dear life. They look for the little things that amaze them. They find beauty anywhere.

The best example I can give for this is how I react during depressive episodes. I get really down and out, often daydreaming of a solution. But to distract myself, I'll research the wonders of the world and just be so ridiculously amazed about what human beings can do or what science can prove, that I gain hope. And I cling to it.

My friend is a Pluto in Scorpio generation. I'm Pluto in Sag. Anytime the news gets scary and I become afraid, I'll go outside and look for things that make me happy. He's caught me completely mesmerized watching butterflies before and he was so confused by that. I looked him in the eye and said "Don't you think it's completely amazing how caterpillars become the chrysalis and go through such an emotionally draining transformation, only to hatch and have to learn how to fly? Isn't it inspiring how they go through all of that alone, and still manage to feel the wind on their wings and taste what freedom feels like?" He gave me a blank stare before he busted out laughing and was like "That was such a Sagittarius thing for you to say because only you would know that and only you would look at life that way."

He's right. And now it's what I use to describe Sag energy every time now 😂

💥 I've said this in my song rec post, but Ryan Caraveo's songs are raw authentic Sag energy. He's a Sag sun and stellium I think. (I'm pretty sure he's also a 12th houser - if you are too, look up his song Ghost)

But I can encapsulate the entirety of Sagittarius energy in these two parts from his song "Feelings" - trigger warning SI (passive):

"A year went by, I made no moves Waiting on luck when I know it ain't enough And it took rock bottom to finally wake me up

Yeah, but now I'm feeling like the man (feeling like a man) 'Cause I do my thing and I won't go back Even though I can, yeah Ambition is something I need Something I be, not what I do I need it to breathe, need it to dream Yes, I believe I got something to prove"

and

"I promise to break before I drop to my knees If I can learn before I pray Then it's a problem that God doesn't need It's more than just words, more than a phrase More than advice, I got it from me Back from the bottom with nothing to fear Easy to say, harder to be Ready to go, go Ready to jump, yeah I've been on that bridge Never know hope, hope Never know love That was the way that I lived Oh, what a feeling to turn it around After my ceiling was burned to the ground Death was appealing, I stood up to deal with it That is the feeling of earning a crown I am a king, I am a king F*** all the stresses, man, that's not a thing F*** the depression, man, I got a dream If I want excellence, that's what I bring I am the truth, I am the lie I am the wall between me and the prize I am the difference between being dead while I'm living and living while I am alive And if I fail Then it's probably 'cause I don't have those great surroundings, right? Nah, it's up to me to bring the great out of everything that I am surrounded by, and I'll admit I made enough excuses The blame game, that's just as useless The want that you have: that's justice, use it Ain't sh** left Just f***ing do it!"

Literally, that is Sagittarius in a whole song. I can't describe it any better. The beat makes it perfect. His other songs are exactly Sag energy. 'Thrivin' is also a perfect encapsulation of Sag energy.

"I just wanna say sorry. I have been oh so selfish. Livin' my life, not too involved in no one else's. I guess I got too greedy. Scared to love freely. Can't hold a conversation. Blamed it on my ADD. Yeah I blamed it on my habitat, old habits that die hard doing anything to have some racks.....Yeah I'm good. Yeah I'm fine. I don't wake up feelin' like I wanna d*e. no. Cause I'm thrivin' now...I don't do the sh** I used to do survive no, cause I'm thrivin' now."

And the whole music video is literally Sag energy. I laughed through the whole thing. But in the music, he captures the goofiness and the go with the flow nature of Sag and the lyrics, he has a sarcastic undertone in a lot of his songs. I feel seen every time I listen to him. 😂

[whoiwanttoday]

I watched the movie Happening and it’s been bouncing around my brain. I like when movies do that, it usually means there is something of value to them for me if I keep trying to unpack them and I go back to them. It also means I keep going back and forth in my brain if I want to make this post. For those not in the know it's a French movie based on the memoirs of Annie Ernaux. It's set in France in the 1960's when abortion was still illegal and the lead is in search of one. The movie was direct and honest in a way that gave it power. I won't spoil anything here but moments could be brutal and harsh but what most stood out to me was the dread and paranoia that seeped into anything. A person who lacks freedom can't really now who to trust and thus ends up all alone. It's awful to see but it was an excellent movie. I had a friend though who commented that he wasn't sure he needed to see another movie about abortion and I think he's dead wrong. Off the top of my head I can only make a list of a handful of movies about this, at least a handful that I truly think are very good movies but I have seen like hundreds of movies about men trying to find themselves cause they're a little sad as they reach middle age or they are man children who need a woman to help them grow up and like... look I get that people need escapism and things that they can just experience and move on. Art is wonderful at providing comfort to the downtrodden but it is also there to make the powerful uncomfortable and to illuminate the world by showing you experiences outside your own and to force you to think and I guess I think if you think you're tired of movies about abortion maybe you're not looking around. The fact that this is still a debate is the reason we need more. This is not the single greatest movie about this topic I have ever seen (for those making a really depressing list that would probably be 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. If you want the single most powerful scene in a movie about this I think it might be Never Rarely Sometimes Always' scene from which it draws the title. Both are in my opinion fantastic but the first is certainly held in higher regard) but it is a good movie and I guess the point is that we need to continue to see and tell human stories about things that aren't always pleasant. I really like movies where superheros punch the shit out of bad guys but it can't be the only thing we consume, I believe it is our duty as people to challenge ourselves as well. I know this is tubmlr and I know what direction is skews so certainly this isn't a post about convincing anyone of anything. I have my own complicated history with abortion and I'd imagine we all do, we are products of the world we live in and whatever your life circumstances it's impossible to avoid the everything swirling around abortion. Anyway, that's not what this blog is about or what this post is about really, just the direction it went. This is about Anamaria Vartolomei who is a French-Romanian actress, a pretty solid combo if you are asking me because I have a deep love for French cinema and every Romanian I have ever met is just fantastic. Anyway, she is really quite attractive and I thought she did a great job in a tough role. She gave a nuances performance and I found it compelling and engaging. Today I want to fuck Anamaria Vartolomei.

[skimmeh]

ack the stuff you said about dsmp and its ending and stuff—i feel that. its like this painful nostalgia of what the thing used to be and the fact that it’ll never happen again… i get nostalgic over the lmanburg anthem lmao. im still having a hard time getting over it ahaha.

i honestly hate the ending but i suppose it had to end sometime. Season 2 getting canceled… like you said, there is some comfort in that, but at the same time its so sad to think that it’s finally, officially over. two years of watching funny block men play the funny block game. it was so fun.

is feeling this way over a silly minecraft server overreacting? maybe. but nonetheless theres still that sadness. i just pretend theres a real ending where the nuke doesnt blow everyone up and these amazing characters ive grown to love just live on in their happy little lives.

anyway just wanted to say this after seeing your recent post. in all honesty, i miss dsmp. but seeing that someone i look up to feels the same way i do makes it a little bit easier to bear, i think. so thank you./gen

Hello anon!!! I'm glad I was able to make you feel comforted and better with just a silly Tumblr post (which also was a bit of a rant haha)

Yeah, it's a painful kind of nostalgia. Which is a bit bitter (due to the nature of how ...the dsmp sorta had a very, rather than ending with a big bang, it was more sorta drawn out thin and had a more than unsatisfying ending. its okay,I think as a fandom we are all making our own au endings to replace that one haha)

And despite all the hardship around this dumb lil server, I don't think I regret getting into it. And I still teasure the story and characters so dearly.

I think you're aloud to have such strong feelings over a silly lil thing, cos I think we're past the point of thinking it is dumb to be so invested in a Minecraft server. It was so fucking cool, and not just the server, the fancontent. I would argue that was the thing that made it so loved and engaging to be a part of. The fan content was unmatched and filled with talent.

People who think it's dumb to have a generally fun time within a fandom and to mourn that when it ends, are boring. Yeah it was a Minecraft rp, but it was also the some of the funnest times I've ever had within a fandom.

The dsmp may have ended but the creativity that made it so great is still here, with the fan content and cc, who will go onto new things and continue to make great things and improve.

And besides the story and characters are still there. It's like putting one of your favourite book on a shelf. You can always revisit the story, maybe take something different from it after time.

And I'm sure there will still be fancontent created from the characters, I know I still plan on drawing and writing stuff.

I can't let go of these characters just yet haha.

It's just now there's room for more things, I don't think anything will replace what the dsmp was,I don't want that.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm excited to see what comes next!!! And I'm thankful for the experience of what the dsmp was.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Harper Gale

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The tenth MC of the Month is @karahalloway 's OC Harper Gale for a reprise!

Learn more about Harper below....

In your words, tell us what you like most about your MC. 

Probably the fact that she knows what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to go after it.

For instance, Harper has had a dream of going travelling around the world for several years, and at the start of (Un)Common Attraction (my somewhat modified rewrite of TRR1), she jumps at the opportunity to go to Cordonia, figuring that this is her chance to kickstart her around-the-world adventure. And even though things don’t exactly go to plan, Harper still tries to make the most of the opportunity at every turn.

She also realises relatively early on that she is much more interested in and feels like herself with Drake, and even though Drake tries to push her away — out of loyalty to Christian (my version of Liam) and in a bid to avoid a scandal — Harper refuses to take ‘no’ for an answer, knowing that Drake has feelings for her too, and eventually convinces him to come around. Obviously, the press scandal on the night of the Coronation Ball throws a massive wrench in the works, but Harper refuses to throw in the towel, despite a lot of proverbial sh*t hitting the fan.

Other things I like about Harper are that she has a very strong moral compass and will fight for what she thinks is right, even in the face of resistance from those she loves and cares about. And she has a big heart — she is always trying to find ways to surprise Drake, be moral support for Max, Hana and Christian, and is always the first to offer help, even if she doesn’t really like the other person.

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

As is the case for many authors and their OC, Harper and I share some similarities. We’re both curious, pragmatic, and down to earth, love to travel and have new experiences. We’re also both quite outdoorsy, love animals, as well as OTT action movies 😆 

However, Harper is a lot braver and a helluva lot more resilient than I am — I would never have taken Maxwell up on his offer to go to Cordonia for the social season, and I am not sure I would’ve coped with all the things she goes through in Cordonia the same way she did.

Also, while we both tend to say it like it is (and this gets us into awkward moments sometimes), Harper is a lot more outspoken than I am and will call out BS then and there, while I just do the silent eye-brow raise, akin to Drake 😅

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

One of the most important things for Harper is being able to be herself. 

This was a big reason why she turned down Christian, because she couldn’t see herself living a ‘fake’ life whereby she had to constantly present an ‘idealised’ image of herself to the public, always having to watch what she said and did, and no longer being able to live a ‘free’ life (in my rewrite, for various reasons, I moved the timeline of this conversation up, so it takes place during the social season, rather than at the end of the engagement tour). 

This is also the reason why she gravitated towards Drake very early on — because Drake has always taken her at face value and never expected anything more from her other than exactly what she already was (whereas both the Beaumonts and Christian focus on, and try to use Harper’s status as a lady — and subsequently a duchess — to further their own ends, whether overtly, or covertly).

In terms of where I am with Harper’s story at the moment, her main motivations are clearing her name after the press scandal that broke during the Coronation Ball — in part to set the record straight and restore her reputation, and in part because she doesn’t want to have to keep hiding her relationship with Drake. Because this is kind of an all-consuming thing at the moment, she doesn’t really have mental space to think about more generic motivations 😅

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Harper’s biggest pet peeves are being made to feel like an idiot (which is the main reason why she has a hard time getting along with Bertrand, who is a perfectionist taskmaster when it comes to etiquette), and being woken up at stupid-o’clock in the morning for a stupid reason (she very much wants/needs her beauty sleep).

She also takes issue with the two-faced nature of the nobility — outwardly presenting perfection, while inwardly falling prey to infighting, lies, manipulation and entitlement. This is another reason why she gravitated towards Drake almost from the very start because both of them can see the rot of the aristocracy through the superficial glitz and glamour.

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? 

I’m not sure Harper would want to change anything — she believes that things happen for a reason and every cloud has a silver lining, even if you can’t see it at the time.

So even in the midst of her worst experiences, Harper is able to find some kind of light on the horizon (even if it feels intractably out of reach) and focuses on that to get her through whatever hardship she is facing.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song? Harper has a lot of songs she likes to listen to, depending on her mood, but one of her favourites is Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts. It very much captures her attitude of freedom, adventure, and curiosity, and the belief that great things are waiting for you if you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone:

Life's like a road that you travel on

When there's one day here, and the next day gone

Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand

Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

There's a world outside every darkened door

Where blues won't haunt you anymore

Where the brave are free and lovers soar

Come ride with me to the distant shore

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC:

I have had a ton of fun getting to know Harper over the 3 or so years that I’ve been exploring her view of the world. But like with any relationship️, you are always learning new things about each other, so I’m sure that as I continue fleshing out Harper and Drake’s story, I’ll learn new things about both of them ❤️ 

Because unlike some other characters I’ve written — who arrived fully formed — Harper actually developed somewhat slowly as an OC. For instance, when I started my TRR1 rewrite, I didn’t even know what she looked like, and it took me about a year to find an FC for her! 😅 

But from the very start, Harper has always had a very clear and distinct voice, which is part of the reason why I ended up writing her story from first-person POV. And the more I write her, the more I love her — almost like a sister — because she feels ‘real’. She has good qualities, yes, but she also has flaws — she can be too trusting, she isn’t always completely honest, she tends to overthink things, she gets heated and emotional and will rip into people (usually legitimately, but that doesn’t make the confrontation any less intense).

And I love her dynamic with Drake 😍 Nine times out of ten, their interactions just write themselves because even though in the big scheme of things, they haven’t known each other for that long, they are very in tune with each other and in many ways they are two sides of the same coin, which means that their interplay is always a perfect storm of snark, sexual tension, and humour.

To learn more about Harper, please see her character bio.