#the fact i never reblogged this shocks me to the core

[novashelby]

Nothing Comes for Free-Jonathan CranexReader

Kinktober Day 1

Pairing: Professor!CranexStudent!reader

Word Count: 2,406

Warning: Dub-con, slight non-con, blowjob, coercin, degradation, and humiliation.

Summary: Dr. Crane gives one of his students a ride home and teaches her a valuable lesson: nothing comes for free.

Please enjoy, reblog, and comment! MDNI | 18+

He wasn’t really a sexed man. Truly, he wasn’t. In fact, he could go months without even so much as touching himself, nevermind fucking a girl. So, what he was about to do was shocking. Fucking, stupid, honestly. But it was her. “Irritating,” he sighed to himself as he pulled out of the campus parking lot, spotting her under the dim street light. With a flimsy, half bent umbrella, she was attempting to shield herself from the rain. 

Jonathan slowed down the car, pulling over to the side. He glanced at his watch, and hummed before doing a look around. Buses in Gotham ran sparse after a certain time. Barely putting the foot on the gas, he rolled forward and stopped. She couldn’t make out who it was through the rain spotted window. Part of her felt an ache in her core. Her hand reached protectively for her safety whistle. Jonathan thought it was cute at best, but he humored it. The window rolled down and he offered a wave.

“Dr. Crane?” she asked, shielding her eyes and squinting. Who else? It was hard for him not to roll his eyes, but he kept his composure; calm, professional, and kind enough. She was in his low level Intro to Psych for Non-majors. The one every one has to take and the one every professor has to teach. It was fucking mind numbing. She closed her umbrella, fighting with it until she decided to leave it in the trash. “Useless piece of junk-”

“Would you like a ride?” he offered, clearing the passenger seat of his black briefcase. “Let me just put this back here.” He tucked it behind him between the back seat and front, cursing when it landed a certain way. 

“Really? Are you sure?” 

He cocked a brow her way. “Why would I ask if I wasn’t sure?”

“Right,” she nodded, giving him a small smile before opening the door. He was able to get a better look at her, noticing her clothes were soaked through. Including the white blouse she wore. It was a button up…hardly fit. You never fucking wear clothes that fit, he sighed to himself in thought. After buckling in, she thanked him. “The bus is awful here…It wasn’t due for another thirty minutes.”

She wasn’t a particularly smart student, in his professional opinion. Perhaps to other professors. She did fine, alright, but to his standards…subpar. But she was nice to look at. For some odd reason, he always felt himself drawn to her. Maybe it was that she was average. So many women her age tried so hard. But her? She was nice to look at because her looks were comforting. Not busy. A real simple beauty. Never trying to stand out. A quiet girl in many aspects. Observing her, he noticed her lack of confidence around her male counterparts. 

As he started the car and pulled out into the road, he glanced over. She was resting her head against the cool window, staring out into the road. “Let me put the heat on. You’re soaked through.”

She looked over, nodding. “Thank you, Professor.” She gave him the address and he commented on how it wasn’t too far. 

“I live in the apartment complex right down the road from you,” he added. “Why don’t you live in the dorms?”

“Can’t afford it-”

“Are you not on any scholarships?” he asked, but immediately regretted it. Truthfully, he didn’t care. And she could tell, and therefore simply told him not enough. The car ride was silent for the most part except for the gentle tap of the rain and her occasional hum. It made everything so easy. His eyes kept having a mind of their own, stealing glances. They skimmed over her body twice over. Each time she hummed, it vibrated through him, sweet and delicate. How would it sound moaning? 

His trousers became slightly tighter. Cursing to himself, he looked down, noticing the more prominent bulge. It was stupid, he knew it. Soliciting a student for a sex act. But he was adored at the university and a lead doctor at Arkham ... .A true model citizen. Out of the thousands of students, interns, apprentices, and colleagues, she’d be a single grain out of many. Who would believe her? Right? 

No, no…he couldn’t possibly coerce her into sucking him off. 

But couldn’t he, though? 

He settled with, “do you have a boyfriend?” 

She was taken aback by this, turning to him. “I’m sorry?” Of course she wasn’t offended. It was a simple question. He was an adult, she was an adult. Why couldn’t he ask that? He repeated the questions with a bit more strain in his voice. “Oh, um, no. I just want to focus on studies-”

“Have you had a boyfriend before?” he asked. 

She countered, “you’re a curious pro-.” When she abruptly stopped mid-sentence, Jonathan knew. He felt her eyes look over him. Silent. He watched as she shifted in the seat and continued looking out the window. She was almost home, anyway. But Dr. Crane had a favor of her…well, a bill, really. Nothing in life came free, he settled. It’d been too long since he felt a mouth wrap around his cock. Right before her duplex, there was a shopping center. It was empty, being a late Thursday night. He pulled in and parked in the far right corner under a half dead tree. The lock clicked when she reached out for the door handle. “Dr. Crane-”

“Shhh,” he said, calmly. He turned the car off, leaving them in darkness. Nervously, she shuffled around in her pocket for her safety keychain, but he placed his hand over hers. “You’re going to be okay, I’m not going to hurt you…merely suggest something-”

“I’d like to go home-”

“And I will take you home, but,” he started, shifting himself to be more comfortable. “I drove you home in the pouring rain. I’m not a taxi service, you understand?” She wasn’t a stupid girl. She knew exactly what he wanted, noticing the bulge push up at his trousers. Scared, she kept pulling at the handle, backing herself against the door. 

“You’re my professor!” she accused, voice strained. 

Chuckling, he took off his glasses and folded them neatly. “And I won’t force you-”

“Then there is no need to ask. Take me the fuck home!”

“Surely you can walk from here then, right?” he asked. “In the pouring rain, in the cold…Gotham isn’t safe at night, you know? Didn’t you hear on the news about the man?” She cocked a brow. “Hmmm…mhm, yes. The serial rapist.” He could tell from the look in her eyes she was assuming he meant himself, but he laughed. “No, no. Not me. I’m not a rapist. Truly. I’d get no joy holding you down. I prefer my women a moaning mess” 

“What rapist?” she asked, hardly having time for this nonsense. 

He pointed up the road. “Raped a girl, just up theere behind dumpster. Abused her poor body until it was so limp-”

“Liar-”

“Hardly. Now, I will give you an option. Walk and risk getting your insides rearranged,” he said, grinning. “Or you can suck my cock as a thank you.” She felt like she was pushed into a corner with no escape, swallowing and looking at the bulge. It’d be quick, right? It was a bit since she last sucked a cock. Jonathan reached over and tickled under her chin, causing her to flinch and pushed away his hand.

“Don’t touch me-”

“I was going to tell you,” he sighed, catching her hand in hand, holding it tightly. “I was going to be nice…tell you, you can spit it out. But for that, I may just pinch your nose and cover your mouth. Unzip my pants.” Towards the end of his stream of words, he lost his kindness. He talked more strained and curt. Giving in, she reached over and played with his zipper. “Easy now.” Her hands were trembling, unable to grip the small zipper. But he wasn’t going to help her. Perhaps it was humiliating for her to fight with such a small, but intimidating thing such as a zipper. Humiliation was a beautiful thing, he thought. Especially on her. It was a nice color. 

When she finally managed, she looked back up at him with hesitant confirmation. When he nodded, she pulled out his length. A nice size, really, but she hated thinking that. It was long, but not an uncomfortable long, but the girth was…it was tempting. She couldn’t even wrap her fingers around it. He let out a soft whimper as she twisted her hand while rubbing up and down. “You must be a little closet whore,” he complimented. “There is no way you’ve never fucked.” She didn’t answer him. He liked to think it was because she didn’t have to. They both watched as her thumb rubbed at the tip, smearing the leaking precum about.That’s when he rubbed some on his finger. “Come here,” he said, but didn’t give her a chance to let the words sink in before he was iron gripping her jaw. “Taste.” She looked at it for a moment, mouth agape before sticking her tongue out, swirling it around his finger. “Suck it off.”

Moving her head back, she looked at him. Unsure and a bit disgusted, feeling that pit of guilt. But where was she going to run? Backed up into some metaphorical wall. She swallowed, diverting her gaze off to the side. The saltiness felt like sin on her tongue. “Dr. Crane, I don’t think you and I should be doing this-”

“Because you don’t want to?” Amused, he kept his hard on with soft, gentle strokes. His words were laced with uttered moans of need and want. He wanted her. It would have been pathetic not to fuck her after he exposed himself. “Or because you’re scared to?” Jonathan leaned in, matching her gaze. “Hm?” It was the tease in his voice that made her feel so small. “Because no one will know. It’ll be a secret.”

“Are you sure?” She didn’t want to be one of those girls.

“Who would I talk to?” She supposed he was right and placed her hand back on his cock, mimicking his pattern. Little drops of precum formed at his tip, and she just knew he would ask her to taste it. To please him, she swiped her tongue across the tip, eyes fluttering up at him. “Good girl.” Needing more, he thrusted his hips up to silently guide her. Blow jobs weren’t exactly new territory, per se, but giving car seat blow jobs wasn’t really her forte. She took his tip in, giving soft, teasing sucks; dragging her tongue along the curve.

He leaned back, relaxing in the black leather driver’s seat. Wondering why he hadn’t done such a thing sooner, he rubbed at her warm cheek. Warm and soft, her sucks were like heaven. So timid, but not in the way she didn’t know what she was doing. Cause she knew…she definitely knew. The way she worked around his sensitive, throbbing tip, lapping up the precum as it came. He dropped his hand from her cheek, and met her hand as the base. “Stroke me.” She needed no guidance, but he found great joy in showing her. Being a teacher. Being a leader. Being her superior. “L-like this,” he managed, closing his eyes. Low whimpers building up. “Keep doing-doing t-this-”

Nodding, she took over. Interrupting him, she said, “yes, Dr. Crane.” Her hand twisted and wrapped around his cock the best it could, rubbing up and down in an addicting rhythm that drove him mad. Closing his eyes, he relaxed into it, feeling the pleasure rise in his body. It wasn’t often the doctor allowed himself a release. Rolling his hips in synchronized motions to meet her movements, his whimpers grew to moans. The car vibrated with his hums and pleas. Shamefully, she felt a bit of pride in herself. Sinking back down, she took his tip back in her mouth. Bobbing up and down, swirling and flicking her tongue, she was in complete control. Whether either of them understood that was unclear, but he was at her mercy, enjoying every moment of it. 

“S-shit!” His mind was so lost. Doctorate what? PhD, huh? He only understood what he wanted at that moment. She took him deeper into her mouth, sucking and swallowing him in. To excite him, she played along with his moans. Her throaty whimpers and groans vibrated against him. Especially when she started to leak spit from her red, puffy lips. Her hands spread it along the exposed bit of his cock to his balls, massaging them.

“Mmmm,” she moaned, fluttering her eyes open to watch his blissful expression. He was leaned back, eyes closed, mouth agape. Out of his mouth was a spew of mmmhm, mmmm, ooooh, s-shit, and f-fuck. It urged her to go faster, taking him deeper. Feeling him hit the back of her throat, she choked. Fuck, when she choked.

He felt it rise within him. “Fuck,” he groaned out, reaching for her hair as he thrusted back into her. Not one ounce did he care that she gagged and suffocated on him. Her nails dug into his hips the rougher he got. “That’s it, good girl!” His hand rested on the back of her head, holding her in place as his hips twitched. “F-fuck! Swallow it, swallow every fucking drop, understand?” Breathless, he felt himself come undone, filling her pretty mouth with his cum. She made a face as the load was thick. Taking two swallows, she managed to take it all. “Show me.”

Sticking out her stock, she sang, “ahhhhh.” 

As if she was his common house pet, he pat her cheek and breathlessly said, “let’s get you home, you have an exam for me in the morning-”

“I thought this would-”

“W-what?” he laughed, amused, pinching her chin. “No, no…if you want to start slacking in my class, you’ll have to do a lot more than just suck me off.” Blushing, she looked off to the side. “Let’s make an arrangement,” he cooed, playing with her rain stained hair. “Hmm? Better for your grade because you’ll fail it tomorrow anyway.” A tiny smirk pulled up at her lips, and she looked at him in agreement. “Do you live alone?”

[lo-shouldve-been-an-email]

Okay,since I’ve just randomly randomly just reblogging Thanatos things,I decided to actually post things,more specifically an LO rewrite because f it.

At its core I do think LO is a good story,just that bad writing has squandered any potential it has to be good,so please have my take on this.(more specifically my take on Persephone,hades,and Thanatos because I have to stay on brand)

Anyways-

(The sequel)

Persephone:

She’s older.shes physically in her late 20’s/early 30’s and about seven to eight centuries older.

Her AoW only extended to those ransacking the garden.(I swear,it would have been so much more understandable to root for her if it only extended to 4-5 people instead of an ENTIRE CITY,since we know other gods have done much worse)

Her work in the underworld was mandated by Zeus as community service for the AoW.

This is more or less Zeus hitting two birds with one stone,he gets perse to make community service and maybe(hopefully) gets hades to open up to the smucks outside of the underworld because he now has an employee not from there.

Due to her guilt about the AoW,she decides that while she’s working in the underworld she’ll set out to be the best her she can be and make up for the souls she took.

At first nobody really likes her and they just think she’s someone who needed to be dragged here by Zeus and won’t amount to anything,but she ends up being the hardest working of the staff and getting a fairly infamous “employee of the month” streak,her only real fumble being Sisyphus(of which she rightfully corrected totally not being getting Hermes to drag his ass down back to the underworld and give his his infamous punishment,of which instantly gave her back any respect she lost.

She’s the type of person you think you can disrespect until she gets genuinely mad at someone,in which case everyone goes out of their way to be nice to her even though it takes a lot to get her mad.

Demeter never sheltered her,just that she heard from her mother and brother(oh yeah Plutus is in this au their twins) about the shit that happened up their(even saw it for herself a few times)and decided to nope out of that drama.

She likes the underworld a more than Olympus due to the fact people don’t get butthurt nearly as much,due to them needing to deal with crap from other gods and sometimes mortals(like Sisyphus)

Demeter was an amazing mama and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Plutus told her about the underworld so she does know a bit,but otherwise it’s a cultural shock.

She brings homemade baklava in every day of work.

She actually sent a letter to Demeter telling her about the community service…however she never got it thanks to a certain daughter of Nyx always dead set on causing discord.

Hades:

It took him two solid seconds to realize what Zeus’ plan was with Persephone so he initially looked for any reason to fire her,until he learned she was here for community service and just decided to wait out her punishment(jokes on him Zeus forgot to tell perse what her sentence was so she worked in the underworld for like a year until demeter found her when in reality she was supposed to be there for like two months)

He does eventually soften up to her(obviously) but it takes a while and a lot of baklava.

Honest to god I have no idea how to incorporate minthe in this au

Leuce is his dead wife,she died fairly recently so he’s still hesitant to connect with anyone.(“I miss my wife,Thanatos,I miss her a lot I’ll be back-“)

Recently he’s been coping via sinking into his work,Hecate and the others have taken notice but they don’t really know what to do.(their the ones that CAUSE death not deal with it)

He slowly started distancing himself from the rest of his family after the titanomachy and even more so after leuce died.

The only person he acts openly soft around is Thanatos,who he views as a son.

The only part of his extended family he interacts with is Hermes,who he actually has a really good relationship with(albeit still strained since leuce)

Fuck it.everyone has flowers symbolism.

Hades is white lilies(subject to change),perse is asphodels,thanatos(and Hypnos) is poppies,leuce is forget-me-nots,Demeter is daylilies,Plutus is orchids,Hecate is nightshades or cow parsley.

Thanatos:

He genuinely finds it hard to focus on doing his job,so people just call him lazy,so he doesn’t really try to set the bar high in return because he knows he’ll just end up disappointing everyone.

The only person who doesn’t have low expectations and wants him to try his best at his own rate is hades,who understands he finds it hard to focus but still wants him to try his best anyways.

Rotates between living with hades and Nyx(who is an extremely doting mother.

Hypnos still resides within the hr department and Thanatos helps him hide because the last thing he needs is a grumpy Hypnos.

He deals with peaceful deaths while Hermes and the keres deal with the rest.

He’s the type of person to tell himself one moment he’s gonna be really productive today and then spend the next fifteen minutes chatting away with a butterfly.

Also he can talk to butterflies.but nobody believes him except Hermes,perse,and Nyx.

The moment he finds out what Eris did she gets the “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?!?!!?” Of her life.then queue Thanatos and the other Nyx children present trying to get her to explain why she thought this was a good idea and her just saying “bc it’s funny”

Erebus = dad with no physical body who still interact with me via shadows.hades = dad with physical body who I want to impress but I don’t know how.

(If you didn’t catch on he has adhd)

[deadpresidents]

What do you make of some of the tumblr presidential fan accounts and their activities? Shitposting, fanart, bizarre headcanons, etc?

There are A LOT of those fan sites about the Presidents and the Presidency on Tumblr! I'm shocked at the sheer number of them that have been popping up over the past few years. I don't follow very many other Tumblrs, but they are frequently recommended to me on my dashboard and I often see my stuff being reblogged by them, so I do notice them and know what you are referencing. I usually don't follow them, but it's not because I'm some sort of history snob. I've just never followed all that many blogs here on Tumblr. Some of those Presidential fan sites on Tumblr can be weird and seem to have some goofy posts and reblogs that I just don't "get", but that's normally just due to the fact that I'm old and boring and socially incompetent. Even though I'm probably one of the OGs of Presidential history blogs on Tumblr because I started Dead Presidents in 2008 (!!!), my site has always been pretty normal, straightforward history for those 15+ years. For the first few years, I even tried to steer away from being too political because I worried it would interfere with the credibility of the history writing I was publishing on Tumblr. That all changed in 2015 when I couldn't stay on the sidelines as Trumpism started taking over. But my Tumblr has always been mostly conventional, and a lot of those Presidential fan sites are very much unconventional.

I think because of that the assumption would be that I'm annoyed or dismissive of the Presidential fan Tumblrs that you mentioned because of how unconventional they can be. However, that's not the case at all. I actually think it's really fucking cool that so many young people -- and most of those Presidential fandom Tumblrs belong to really young people -- are into history, especially Presidential history, so much that they've shaped their own little universe about it. There's some really creative stuff that I've seen when sites are recommended and pop up on my dashboard. I'm particularly impressed by the Presidential fan art that a lot of these kids are posting. They are having fun and they are finding unique ways to expand history literacy, which has always been one of my main goals for creating Dead Presidents in the first place, posting original writing, and answering questions over the years.

Again, some of the stuff goes completely over my head and I don't understand the memes because I'm old, but I still think it's really cool that people are finding their own path into the field of Presidential history -- a subject I've spent most of my life interested in and hopeful that I might be able to interest others in. And, despite what a lot of those fan sites might look like at first-glance or appear to be while quickly skimming through dashboard recommendations, a lot of these kids who are curating the sites genuinely know their shit! It's great and I'm excited by the idea that there are creators finding new ways to introduce these subjects and these endlessly fascinating stories to diverse new audiences.

At its core, history is always just a collection of connected stories about people, and with so many talented young folks finding and creating original ways of telling those stories I want to support and encourage those efforts. From what I can tell, there are a lot of these Presidential fan sites that follow me on Tumblr because I've been around forever and it's pretty easy to remember that I write about the Presidency because of my blog's name. This might make me sound even more ancient than I already am and nobody needs my validation to keep doing what they are already doing well and successfully, but I'm proud to see the work that those young people are doing to further their own interests in Presidential history and inspire history literacy through their own creativity. Those memes and fan art can animate and energize far different -- and newer -- audiences than my 3,000-word essays about Presidential history and that's so important. They are appealing to demographics that I can't reach as easily and in ways that I never would have thought of, and I'm always going to be an advocate for that (even if I never understand the memes!). And the most important part is that they are having fun exploring history and making history fun for new explorers.

[e-dubbc11]

Afternoon Delight

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Dirty talk, a LOT of it. Reader and Billy both have filthy mouths in this one so 18+ please (no minors or I’m telling), some swear words

Word Count: 1.6k-ish

Summary: Reader is reading and waiting for her boyfriend to bring her lunch in the park. A very handsome man takes a seat next to her, the book she’s reading is one of his favorites.

A/N: This is my contribution to May’s writing challenge over on the Thirsty For Cox discord server. This month’s prompt was sundress season and I honestly didn’t mean for it to get dirty but my brain had other ideas. Oh the book I took the quotes from is The Picture of Dorian Gray. I hope you like it!

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

A gentle summer breeze rushed across your exposed shoulders as you sat alone on a park bench reading your book on an early Saturday afternoon. The subtle rustling of the trees above your head prompted you to look up and watch the sun highlight the veins in the leaves as the wind moved them in multiple directions.

The warm afternoon sun shone through the leaves on the trees, drawing attention to bright green patches of grass all over the park. It was a beautiful day.

Your boyfriend told you earlier that morning that he would meet you in the park for lunch and you couldn’t wait to surprise him with the new dress you bought.

Black with white polka dots, adjustable spaghetti straps, long with a deep V-neck and a drawstring closure, it was perfect for a day like today and you were sure he would love it on you.

Continuing to turn the pages of your book, you looked up the walkway and noticed a very handsome man walking toward you wearing a gray suit.

He had ebony colored hair, a short well-groomed beard and as he came closer you noticed his eyes. He had beautiful yet very mysterious deep brown eyes, the kind of eyes you could just get lost in while he was talking to you. They looked like two flat black marbles and they were looking directly at you.

There were empty park benches everywhere, so you didn’t think he would take a seat next to you and yet, he did. As he sat down, he smiled at you. You’ve never seen a more perfect smile on top of an already incredibly handsome face.

He said hello, you said hello back and returned the smile he gave you.

A smile like his could get you into some serious trouble but then he doubled down and opened his mouth to which you heard his soft tone, his voice was smooth like warm honey with a slight New York accent.

“I love that book.” He said.

You almost forgot you were holding a book, he was quite the distraction.

“Me too.” You said. “This is my fourth time reading it. Do you have a favorite part?”

You asked him, hoping to throw him off guard to see if he’s actually read it or if it’s some lame pick up line.

“Well…let’s see.” He said. “There are so many.”

Got him.

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” Chapter 2, page 23

“Oh and…”

“When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy." Chapter 6, page 106

The fact that he had those passages memorized, shocked you to your core and you felt slightly embarrassed and ashamed that you doubted him, but it turned you on at the same time.

“I’m sorry, I thought that…” You said.

He interrupted you.

“You thought it was a line, didn’t you.” He said with a sly grin.

Very few people surprised you, especially tall, handsome men just strolling through the park.

“I do apologize Mister?” You asked.

“Russo…Billy Russo.” He said extending his hand for you to shake. “I read that book a lot when I was deployed overseas.”

“Deployed? Wait, lemme guess…” You said as you carefully looked him over from head to toe. “You were a marine.” You were biting down on your lower lip, and fighting the desire to draw him in close by his tie.

He continued to stare at you with those intense brown eyes of his, he could not look away and neither could you. He held your gaze and felt yourself start to blush every time he smiled at you.

“How did you know?” He asked.

“Well…actually, my boyfriend was also in the Marines.” You said in a low breathy tone.

His smile disappeared.

“Well your boyfriend is a lucky man, I’ve never seen a more beautiful smile…on anyone.” He said.

He took the words right out of your mouth, you felt the same way about his smile.

Billy moved his head like it was on a swivel, looking all around him. “So…where is this boyfriend of yours? If you were mine, I’d never let you out of my sight.” He stated.

The struggle to keep from smiling was difficult, and you replied. “Actually, I don’t know. He said he would meet me here for lunch and he’s never ever late.”

You weren’t sure if it was the rays from the sun or Billy that was causing the warmth to rise to your cheeks.

There was something you wanted from Billy but maybe you shouldn’t ask. Although, what harm could come from reading a few pages from your book to you?

There was just something about his voice that was captivating. The way the words rolled off of his tongue was musical and hypnotic, like he was meant to read them aloud.

As he read, he’d glance away from the pages for sentences at a time to look over at you. He had memorized a lot of the passages, staring at you as he recited the words.

At one point, he stopped and lost his place because he was too busy staring at you.

“I’m so sorry.” He said. “I have to tell you, I’m very distracted by this beautiful dress you have on. Although I’m not sure if it���s the dress or the woman wearing it, maybe it’s both. I can’t believe your boyfriend let you leave the house without him, lookin’ like that. Every man that walks by this bench is having the same thoughts as I am.”

Trying to swallow the lump in your throat, the ache between your thighs grew hungry for him.

“Oh? And—what sort of thoughts would those be, Mr. Russo?” You whispered.

“Impure ones.” He hissed as he looked you up and down.

Your fingers lightly danced across the glowing skin on your chest and moved up to rub the back of your neck as his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip.

“Thoughts of taking you back to my place, hiking that dress up over your hips and fucking you so hard you can’t walk right tomorrow, pinning you against the wall, and having your legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me deeper into that sweet pussy of yours. I wanna hear you scream my name over and over again until your voice cracks, and I bet you’d look really pretty sitting on my dick.”

Gently, he touched your bare shoulder, and brushed the warm soft skin of your arm with his calloused fingers, those words sent shivers down your spine despite the hot afternoon sun.

Shuddering at those sinful thoughts, you leaned in to him so your face was closer to his yet your bodies remained apart and whispered against his mouth. “Is that right? Anything else?” You asked before sucking on his bottom lip.

“Or just ripping it off of you because it covers that gorgeous body of yours, then using it to tie you to the bed so I can look at you all spread out, ready to take my cock. Those are the kind of thoughts I’m having.”

A bead of sweat had dripped from your neck down your chest and in between your breasts, your panties were soaked from listening to Billy describe what he wanted to do to you, and if he wanted to fuck you right there on that park bench, you would probably let him.

“Maybe I’m having similar thoughts.” You said softly. “Maybe I want to see you on your knees in front of me, your head underneath my dress, and your tongue fucking me until I can’t see straight.”

You were so distracted by him, you forgot why you were sitting on that bench in the first place.

He inched closer to you so his thigh was touching yours, the look in his eyes was primal, his long slender fingers touched the side of your face, his other hand grazed the top of your breast and then he pushed some of your hair back behind your ear so he could whisper to you.

“Role playing is fun, isn’t it sweet girl. I don’t even need to touch you to know how wet you are for me. Love the new dress. I know I was supposed to bring lunch but I didn’t think there would be a snack waiting for me when I got here.” He said with a devilish smirk and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

You reached out to brush his beard with your thumbs and let out a little chuckle. “Wow…And I thought I’ve heard every cheesy pick up line there is, my love. Are you done flirting with me? Where’s my lunch?”

Billy held up one finger. “Number one, I’ll never stop flirting with you, number two, you’re wearin’ MY lunch…and I promise I’ll get you something to eat, but I need to get you home now otherwise we’re both getting arrested for indecent exposure.” He said with a wink. “I held out as long as I could. I’m pretty sure I flatlined when I first saw you. You look fuckin’ hot, baby.”

You leaned in close and gave him a hungry kiss, your tongue twisted with his and your teeth nipped at his lower lip which made him absolutely feral for you.

“Well let’s go home then, Mr. Russo and don’t forget our book.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again

[areacodefan]

Confession & Connection Time

I know many of us are shaken to the core about the sudden death of Lisa Marie.

I read the tribute from her friend who was also a grief counselor and in it, he wrote about Lisa dedicating herself to supporting other grieving parents, including their plans to do a podcast. It inspired me to go out of my comfort zone in her honor and in honor of that commitment.

I am tremendously upset by Lisa’s death and cannot stop thinking of Priscilla and bursting into tears. Because I know what it is to lose a daughter. My only child was killed in a wreck two decades ago and I have never been the same. I almost didn’t survive it and was fully incapacitated for many, many years. In the past few years I have been coming into a promising new phase of grief and life, one that is difficult to navigate but one for which I am grateful. But any time I hear of a parent losing a child — whether it’s someone I know personally or not — it affects me tremendously. School shootings and celebrity deaths can be just as upsetting for me as for someone I know, albeit shorter lived since someone I do not know is not connected to me daily. But the universality is still there. Only other parents whose children have died know the suffering when their child is gone before them, regardless of circumstances and regardless of age.

Sadly, ironically, this is why I blurred out the letter I wrote for Elvis’s birthday when I posted it. After thanking him for his life and talent, I asked Elvis to hug my little girl for me. I think we all know he of course would do that. It’s making me cry again to write this now, imagining him scooping up my precious sweetheart (she was only 8) in his fatherly arms. I also asked him to find my mom and to tell them both I feel them with me always. As sensitive and kind as everyone is in our fandom, it felt too personal and vulnerable to share these details among a cyber community.

But here we are now. Lisa is dead. Priscilla’s heart is shattered. The family is devastated. The Elvis film family is floored. And the world is in shock. And I imagine that Austin is grieving in a strange and unique way, having come to love her as a “daughter” through his character work but also by feeling a maternal bond from her as well after they met. I acknowledge my thoughts about Austin are speculation on my part and I do not want to suggest I actually know what he is feeling. I don’t want to disrespect him with a formal assumption. Only to share that these thoughts and feelings have bubbled up for me by way of concern for his tender soul, whether or not they are accurate, and I’m sad for him, too.

Personally I must and do believe Lisa is in her father’s loving and long-awaited embrace and that she is also reunited with her beloved son. I know that I long for the day I will be with my daughter again on the same energetic plane — even though I connect to her constantly across the ethers. It was, in fact, that intense pull to be with her that made my life so precarious for so long after her death. And something I deeply understood about Lisa when she referred to how hard it was for her without Benjamin, including her intense feelings of guilt.

I decided to post this in case there are any others in the fandom who have survived a child and who need the extra support & understanding that a fellow bereaved parent shares. Also, after seeing Mel make a post about caring for ourselves and each other, and the many other anguished tributes that are showing up in my blog. Amongst the many posts I have spotted a few comments, tags, and reblogs that have the resonance of someone who knows a parent’s grief. So just in case someone else here is facing that, too, and in honor of Lisa, I decided to bare my soul.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, DM, or send me an ask. In between my own self care (which includes pacing myself on social media), I am also in ongoing recovery from a recent hospitalization, which is a factor in the amount of time I’m on tumblr right now. Otherwise I am available and at your service in compassion and solidarity.

I want to acknowledge a few of my fandom anchors @karamelcoveredolicity @ash-omalley @troubleinapinksuit @burninlovebutler @succsessions and everyone else who is posting, caring, sharing, and hurting. To any other bereaved parents, we know there are no words that adequately convey our experience. We only have the recognition and companionship of one another as fellow travelers on a journey we never, ever imagined we would be forced to take.

Love,

MJ

[legionofpotatoes]

For real, your take on Mando season 3 is completely on point. But I get not feeling able to say it out loud without a disclaimer before, after, and in the tags to keep from getting shouted at in the reblogs. It's just the messed up nature of being in the SW fandom on Tumblr. Speaking your mind on your own blog is an invitation for buffoonery.

If I were completely honestly, I'm not in the least shocked that's what we got. I've long held the opinion that the worst part about the fandom is the fan opinions and expectations out of a new series, and the expectation that a formula for a show won't change, or that a character will maintain one set mentality/trope while simultaneously offering new, completely different story arcs. It isn't necessarily impossible to pull off, but it takes very careful planning and execution. And, unfortunately, that has never been a strength in this franchise, even before Disney ownership.

For most shows, it's the season 5 slump. After 5 seasons, all the flavor is gone and any additional seasons are painfully rehashed at best. For all the corporate financial squeezing that's been done to Mando since the beginning of the show to wring out revenue like its a wet washcloth, it really tracks that were in this place after only 3 seasons.

IMO the only thing that's going to save Andor is the fact that the end of the story has already been told in Rogue One and its confirmed that season 2 will end at that point of the timeline. If it was going to be a 3+ season show, I suspect we'd see the same treatment.

Anyway, I'll stop flapping my gums in your ask box. Your hot take encapsulated what felt off about this season to me. I couldn't put words to it, but it just felt....meh.

I just disable reblogs and try not to tag it in an inflammatory way, my gripes are genuinely like. basic semiotics and story sense, I'm not going after anyone's childhood or feel-goodness. This is all me-problems and me-expectations with a massive machine of commerce that will never give a shit lmao

I too wrote a couple of posts back in s2 days expecting something of this sort going forward after the weirdly presumptuous cameo-baiting of s2 and whatever in the goddamn hell boba fett did with its mando tie-ins, but an entire season of tirespinning sure was a surprising choice. I think writing for TV is fundamentally different than writing for film, so I didn't really see a clear parallel of incompetence within the franchise; and especially with season 1 being so solid in balancing both the overarching and the episodic stuff I felt like they had a neat ramp to milk a decently long character piece out of.

But I can't help but feel like my main problem with the disney/abrams/filoni/favreau era of star wars is its irrationally strong love for the aesthetic. it blinds them to good choices that will then make for interesting stories. gently deradicalizing, humanizing, and then literally AND figuratively getting din out of his shell so he could open up to a child's love could be such an effective, simple to parse, and wholesome core to structure the series around, but that would upend the aesthetic of their cowboy-ass romp a bit too fast and have an end and an identity and all that non-marketing friendly stuff. so they keep withholding his psyche, they keep giving then taking clear communication tools away from grogu, they keep teasing their bond but never outright stating it (I cannot believe after 3 seasons he still hasn't just looked at the baby and directly confessed he loved him), so they can keep bumping those goalposts back and forth while pretending it's progress. because they are in love with the aesthetic.

again, this is my main problem, I don't see this as a problem writ large or even something that represents a wrong way to do star wars. who the hell even knows how you treat a franchise that large at this point, what importance you assign to aesthetic vs. story, all that jazz. I don't know. they're the ones with the analytics data, so they definitely know better. and maybe that's the saddest part

[vibinglikethat]

my thoughts and feelings about jedi survivor (spoilers ahead)

ok so i've finished the storyline of jedi survivor and i thought i would express my many feelings about this amazing game (in case i wasn't obvious lol, i LOVED it.)

so the game takes place 5 years after jedi fallen order, and of course lots of things have happened between JFO and JS, one of which is the crew went their separate ways and it becomes clear that cal wasnt happy with that. eventually they all reunite and everything is nice and there is hope and then you remember this is star wars and it's set during the empire and so that hope turns to dust real quick and it's AGONIZING.

GOD i can't stop thinking about bode and his betrayal i dont remember the last time i was so fucking shocked over a character's betrayal, i was never shocked with anakin because uhhh yeah he was always meant to be darth vader lol, but with bode??? i did NOT see it coming. it especially sucks because i really liked him. and the fact that he used to be a JEDI???? THAT FUCKING SHOOK ME TO THE CORE. i feel so bad for his daughter OH my god :( she lost her parents at such a young age i want to cry (I LOVE that merrin especially tries to help and comfort her because she can relate im going to sob)

cere junda.....oh man. oh god. my love for cere is endless and im still processing her death (YES I KNOW SHES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER I CANT HELP HOW I FEEL LOL) i actually already kinda knew she was going to die because i saw gifs but i feel like i would have been even MORE upset if i didnt know because OH my god.........the darth vader and cere fight scene was SO cool though like tragedy aside i loved being able to do that omg you cant really properly fight darth in JFO and i loved that you could this time while playing as cere

god cal crying while holding her body wrecked me.....i wont be forgetting that anytime soon, if ever.

CAL AND MERRIN ARE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH im gonna admit and say i never called myself a cal/merrin shipper but i HAVE loved their dynamic and i love romance so im definitely shipping them now lol (MERRIN BEING THE FIRST TO INSTIGATE THEIR KISS.....WE LOVE TO SEE IT)

greez........i love greez :) i DO want to know what happened to his arm because OH my god wtf anyway i love that he has a saloon, good for him. this game made me love him even more. he just loves his found family :((( AND OH MY GOD HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN AFTER CERE I WANT TO THROW UP

this is getting absurdly song omg sorry lol im sure im forgetting some things but these are the most significant moments that happened and i wont be forgetting anytime soon lol

also btw i straight up cried during the funeral scene which is the last scene that plays before the credits. the force theme played which probably contributed to my tears lol

anyway the ending was perfect, this game is perfect, the emotional devastation is perfect, the gameplay is perfect, i cannot recommend this game ENOUGH. if you like star wars and souls-like games. if you've read this far please feel free to reblog and say "so true op" in the tags lol

[bullet-prooflove]

I posted 8,368 times in 2022

That's 7,783 more posts than 2021!

1,177 posts created (14%)

7,191 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@storiesofsvu

@misscharlielulu

@me-ladie

@bullet-prooflove

@allthosedarlings

I tagged 2,659 of my posts in 2022

#brian zvonecek - 344 posts

#law and order svu - 315 posts

#brian otis zvonecek - 275 posts

#will halstead - 189 posts

#svu - 181 posts

#peter stone - 171 posts

#joe velasco - 165 posts

#one chicago - 162 posts

#chicago fire - 157 posts

#brian zvonecek imagine - 157 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i feel like soon i’m gonna do a big long list of all the hcs i have for these two and i think i’ll expand on this a little more in that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

One Chicago Masterlist

Chicago PD

Chicago Fire

Chicago Med

117 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#4

Stay With Me - Will Halstead x Reader

The gunshot caught you in the gut, slipping just under your vest. You felt the earth sway as agony erupted in your stomach. The world was slipping from your grasp. You barely felt the impact of the concrete underneath you as the blast from the Glock knocked you completely off your feet. Your body was trembling, you could feel the shock beginning to set in as you lay there staring at the sky outside of the hospital. The darkness twinging at the edges of your vision.

“Keep pressure on the wound,” You heard Will’s voice in your ear, felt his hands pressing down on your abdomen trying to stop yourself from spilling all over the concrete. The rush of sound hit you all at once, it was so loud it drowned out everything else. The blood was warm and thick as it soaked through your shirt. You had never been in this much pain before, you could feel something hot trailing down your cheeks and realized you were crying.

You sucked in a deep breath through your teeth, it sounded like a hiss.  Will’s hand cupped your cheek, guiding your face so that he could look into your eyes.

“Stay with me baby, stay with me.”

160 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#3

Law & Order SVU Master List

Grace Muncy Masterlist

Hasim Khaldun Masterlist

Joe Velasco Masterlist

Mike Dodds Masterlist

Mike Duarte Masterlist

Nick Amaro Masterlist

Peter Stone Masterlist

Rafael Barba Masterlist

Sonny Carisi Masterlist

William Dodds Masterlist

Law & Order: SVU Pairings Masterlist

178 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#2

Anchor - (Marc Spector x Reader) (Steven Grant x Reader) (Jake Lockley x Reader)

Marc dislikes the quiet, the absence of noise resonates in his head allowing the darkness to filter in. His memories before Khonshu, his life after they intermingled taunting him. He wasn’t a good person, he hadn’t been when he met you and he certaintly wasn’t after.

A good man wouldn’t have asked you on a date after you bumped into him at a coffee shop. A good man woudn’t have drawn you into this mess of a life. A good man would have left you alone but Marc admitted he wasn’t a good man.

He had been solitary for too long, even with the others inside his head. He distanced himself from people, shirking affection. Steven however craves it; it was Steven who reached out to you when Marc can’t bring himself to take that step. It is Steven who explains their predicament because Marc is too God damned ashamed to try. It is Steven, careful considerate Steven that you fall in love with first.

The anguish, the unworthiness is ingrained into the core of Marc’s psyche. Steven maybe good enough for you but he isn’t despite the fact you met him first Marc isn’t. There are days he disappears, where he drinks to forget, where he sinks under the weight of everything he’s done. He blocks you out, ignore the glimpses of your face he gets in his mind when he remembers your kindness, your words.

You are enough, you had told him with that delicate touch and honest smile.

He wished he believed it.

In the aftermath of these disappearances, it is Steven who is forced to smooth over the edges, who explains that Marc’s depression is getting worse, that he’s isolating himself. Marc loves you more than anything, but he’s scared because for Marc, loves comes with a price, one that has scarred him so badly he finds it hard to cope.

Love is violence, love is pain, love is agony leeching into your bones and stealing away your sanity.

Steven lives for your touches, he basks in them, in the strength of your connection. He takes enjoyment in pleasing you, in learning your body with studious fingers and an inquiring mouth. Steven spends days with you, sometimes weeks. He holds your hand, shows you his favourite places, you explore bookshops together, landmarks, the best exhibitions in the museum.

It is Steven who gives him the greatest gift of all when he retreats, shoving Marc to the forefront while the two of you lie on a picnic blanket in the planetarium, gazing up at the stars. You know it’s Marc from the way his grip on your hand tightens, his thumb tracing over the rivets of your knuckles as you lie in silence.

The beauty of the sky above steals away Marc’s doubts, he’s seen stars like this before in real life and he tells you about nights camped out staring at the sky. About his adulation of the cosmos, how it feels like he is standing on the edge of the world, ready to fall face first into the darkness.

Marc stays for days after that, he spends lazy nights wrapped up in your sheets, loving you with everything that he has, discovering new ways to draw his name from your lips. You languish under the attention, giving as much as taking because at some point Marc is going to retreat. You can see it in the way he starts to get antsy, the way he rubs the back of his head like something has burrowed deep inside. When he snatches up his jacket and leaves you expect it. Rome wasn’t built in a day and putting back the broken pieces of yourself takes time and self-reflection.

Marc cherishes those days with you, he relives them in his absence turning to drink once more to medicate himself because he knows somehow, he is going to burn it all down, just like he has done with every single relationship before you. He will break your heart and, in the process, destroy Steven’s.

Nobody factored in Jake’s opinion on things. Both Marc and Steven knew they lost time, it was usually small increments, a few hours here and there. They knew Jake existed, but he rarely surfaced unless he needed to do something that had to be done. Sometimes Marc woke with you, sometimes without. Where Steven was open, Jake was private, locking the other two out during your time together.

One night Jake decided he had had enough of Marc’s wallowing, of his gratuitous self-pity. He was sick of leaving, sick of waking up in weird places with a hangover that wasn’t his. Jake knew he wanted you, knew that you wanted him, he knew what needed to be done. When he made love to you it was demanding and ruinous, you were a deviant little puzzle he liked to work out. He played your body like an instrument, fine tuning the strings with his mouth and fingers until he created a symphony. He let Marc see everything, the event, the aftermath, the pillow talk.

He allowed him access to the words he used.

Mi Querida, Mi Amor, Mi Vida.

My Darling, My Love, My Life.

Jake told you everything in detail, the things he had done, the good and the bad. Things that both Marc and Steven hadn’t known or even suspected. He let Marc hear all of it because if you could handle Jake, with this penchant for violence that meant you would have no problem with Marc.

One night after you’d slipped away into sleep, he watched you, his lips brushing over your bare shoulder, your ass tucked into the hollow of his body. Your fingers were entwined with his, your hair fanned out over the pillow.

This felt right to him. He felt grounded, tethered back to the world he had cut himself away from. It was at that moment he realised what the others had had already come to understand. They were a ship battered by the storm, coming so perilously close to being dashed on the rocks and you were an anchor, holding them in place, keeping them safe.

229 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Moon Knight Thoughts

So I am rewatching Moon Knight and I’m watching the scenes where Steven stands Dylan up for the date and my question is this... Who arranged it?

Steven obviously didn’t as he has no memory. I’m not sure Marc would as he has the thing with Layla hanging over his head and he intentionally missed it to go to Hungary to get the scarab so does that mean Jake did?

I would genuinely love to know your thoughts.

411 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[delicioustarong]

THIS CHAPTER-- THIS CHAPTER 😭😭😭😭😭

Okay I'm about to drop all my feelings about this au into this reblog. BUCKLE UP PEOPLE! IM NOT HOLDING BACK

Okay first of all, BROPPY! JDKSJS THEY'RE SO CUTE HERE! AND SUPPORTIVE!! I love them so so much. I love how understanding Branch is and how he believes that Viva will eventually come around. ALSO! THE LINE!!

“She’ll come around,” Branch insisted gently.

“How do you know?”

“I did."

UGHHH the weight and feels that line holds 😭.

Next-- Branch's inner guilt in not telling his brothers about JD. Like 💔 it's making me ugly sob like-- BXJSHSH. The fact that the brothers will never have the chance to forgive JD and to make amends cause he's gone will forever hurt me. AND THIS!

They would all grow older than JD ever had the chance too. Bruce already had and didn’t even know it. Clay might have already too. Branch wasn’t entirely sure. Soon Floyd would as well and then… and then one day, Branch.

One day Branch would be older than JD ever got to be.

THIS IS LIKE "FOR THIS YOU WERE BORN" ALL OVER AGAIN 😭 UGHH MY HEARTTT. Blade you never miss when it comes to emotional stuff and I respect that. This part of the fic got me all teary eyed-- THE THINGS THIS FIC DOES TO ME 😭🖐️

The ending shocked me to my core. I bet Branch is bringing his brothers to JD's grave. I can already feel the angst coming--

This chapter destroyed me. Definitely making fanart. Prepare yourself cause I'm about to go crazy HAHAHHAHA

Branch talks with Poppy but is then backed into a corner to reveal a horrifying truth.

[havin-a-wee]

Doctor's Orders

pairing: gynecologist!harry x reader/doctor!harry x reader

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: smut, fingering

this is so long overdue i apologize but this is a request! i kinda love this piece so i hope you guys do too!

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

You sucked in a harsh breath as you heard your name being called from the front desk, the smiley old lady gesturing for you to follow her. You timidly walked behind her, your feet shuffling on the obnoxiously patterned carpet that lined the hallways.

You aren’t one to fear doctor’s appointments, in fact, you have never been apprehensive about going to one until right now. This appointment was something you’ve been avoiding for a while since you had moved to London, but there came a point where you couldn’t put it off for any longer. Back in the states, you were comfortable with your gynecologist, and you had no issue talking to her about problems you were having regarding your genitalia. But now that you were in a new city, you didn’t have the comfort that came with visiting a long-term doctor and faced new ones for the first time since you were a child. The rest of the doctor’s visits were pretty standard, but your private parts were something you struggled with understanding, Sure, you have seen porn and had sex, but it was never a fulfilling experience. In fact, you have never reached an orgasm. About a year ago you gave up on looking for men to help you and made it a mission to bring yourself to a climax. But alas, none of your efforts seemed to work. At this point, you were convinced that something was wrong with you, hence the gynecologist visit. Male gynecologist, that is.

Over the past month, you have spent a lot of time researching gynecologists in your area. The first one that came up was the one you are at now, but considering his gender you continued your hunt. But it kept leading you back to this one doctor, Dr. Styles, and that was why you are currently sitting in an exam room in his office.

You reassured yourself by looking up his name on your smartphone, scrolling through the 5-star reviews. The number of people who seemed to absolutely love this guy helped settle your nerves, so you read through them as you waited for a knock on the door.

That knock finally arrived a few minutes later, and you picked your head up and looked at the wooden door. “Come in!”

A head popped inside from behind the door as it was pushed open, and the doctor’s eyes found yours while he made his way into the small room. He’s tall, with a mop of chocolate brown curls on his head and bright green eyes accompanied by a friendly smile. He sat down, eyes never leaving yours until he placed his computer down and the screen lit up.

“‘Ello Darlin, m’Dr. Styles, but y’can call me Harry if you’d like.” He stuck out a hand, and your palm swiftly met his, the two of you looking at one another as you shook hands. His hands were enormous, and the rings placed on his fingers were cold to the touch. “Considering you’re a new patient, I took a peek at y’records and such, and I saw that y’ve always had a female gyno.”

You nodded your head slowly, opening your mouth to respond but getting cut off by Dr. Styles. “So I just wanted t’let y’know tha’ theres nothing t’be ashamed off, and I know what I’m doin’ so I promise you’re in expert hands.”

“Yeah, I was nervous, but I couldn’t ignore the amazing reviews people have given you, so I made an appointment.” You appreciated his reassurance a lot, and it really helped in the easing of your jitters. He turned back to his computer after nodding in response to you, clicking on a few keys before diverting his attention back to you.

“So what seems t’be the problem today Y/N?” An initial wave of shock hit you when he said your name, but it quickly dissolved when you remembered that he literally has access to all your medical information, so of course, he knows your name.

“This is a bit of an odd thing to come in for on my first appointment with you, but I think my vagina doesn’t work.” You let out a breathy chuckle at your own words. Dr. Styles seemed unphased by your forwardness, and you assumed he had heard a lot more abrasive things than that. “I’m a 22-year-old woman, but I’ve never had an orgasm. For the past year I’ve been focusing on doing it without a partner, but no matter how much time I spent or how many fancy toys I buy, I just end up feeling unsatisfied and disappointed.” He nodded along as you explained your issue, placing his chin in his hand while his elbow was placed on the desk.

“Have y’had any STD tests recently?”

“Yes, I had one last week, I’m clean and I’ve never had one in the past.”

“Is there any possibility tha’ you’re pregnant?”

“No, I haven’t slept with anyone in over a year.” You knew what questions he would ask, so to avoid wasting time you were giving him all the information he would need.

“When y’are sleeping with someone, do y’feel any sort of pleasure?”

“Yeah, but it’s just never enough, I guess.” His lips curled into an expression of concentration, and he pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. The room was silent for all of around 30 seconds, but soon enough Dr. Styles spoke up.

“Based on yeh’ history and what y’telling me, it seems that y’just haven’t found the right bloke.” Your eyebrows lifted in surprise at his simple answer. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? “M’guessing y’can’t get y’self off cause’ y’tense and not fully relaxed. And the guys y’ve been with ave’all been doin’ a rubbish job.” He chuckled along with you, and you couldn’t help but agree with him. There was no one you could think of that had actually made you feel good the entire time and had actually focused on your pleasure and theirs. Most of the hookups you took part in were with frat boys who would stick their dick into anything with a hole. “But just in case, lemme’ check y’out just to make sure.”

He stood up from his chair and you swung your legs up on the cot, laying down on it. While you had waited for the doctor, you changed into the gown you were provided with, so there was only a thin piece of fabric between you and the curly-headed man that had taken a seat at the end of the seat.

It was now that you were faced with a dilemma that your anxious brain hadn’t even thought of prior to the appointment.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive. And probably because of the nature of your discussion (and the fact that your body is severely desperate for sexual release), your core had been heating up since he first stepped into the room. So now, he would lift the skirt of the gown and see a pool of velvety wetness coating the inside of your thighs.

The back of the seat was propped up, allowing you to see him. This was a good thing for him because he could talk to you while he does his job, but it means you will have to look at him after he sees the mess you’ve made.

“May I?” His fingers gripped onto the edges of the gown, and you swallowed hoarsely before nodding your approval. While you know that he probably has witnessed much more embarrassing situations than the one you were in right now, it didn’t make the predicament any better. As you suspected, he kept a straight face when he lifted the flimsy material from your legs. Without taking a second glance, he turned to a bottle on his desk and pumped a dollop of lube onto his glove-clad fingertips. He used his other gloved hand to spread the lubricant, only turning back to you when his two fingers were both well coated in the substance. “Y’alright?” Once again, you nodded at his question. “Tell me with words darlin’, wanna make sure y’comfortable.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What kind of exam are you doing exactly?” That question popped into your mind right before it rolled off your tongue because you noticed he had never specified exactly what he was looking for.

“M’just gonna use m’finger,” he held his lube-covered fingers, “and feel around, just t’make sure everythins’ fine.”

“Ok, sounds good.”

“M’gonna start now, s’gonna be cold at first.”

You hissed when his fingers met your sopping hole, and you had to resist the urge to kick your legs while he slowly pushed his fingers inside of you. The feeling was strange, but definitely not unwelcome. The contrast from his icy fingers to your warm center was sending a tingling sensation down your spine. You could feel his fingers push around inside of you, caressing your walls. And you know you shouldn’t. But his fingers were hitting all the right nerves, and you couldn’t help but find the experience immensely pleasurable.

Despite your best efforts, a small moan of satisfaction escaped your lips. Immediately, you went stiff, and you could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. You just moaned while your doctor had his fingers inside you. For a moment you thought he would ignore the sexual noise that you had just made. But he suddenly looked up at you, his eyes previously locked on his fingers.

“Well, if y’moanin’ just from that, y’more sexually deprived than I thought.” He chuckled, and you cracked a small smile, but that was before his words actually hit you.

Was he, hitting on you?

Maybe not flirting, but that definitely wasn’t something that doctors say to their patients very often. His smirk was also giving you the idea that he had certain intentions.

“Everything seem good down’ere, so I think tha’ problem is with the guys y’gettin with, not you. What type of people do y’usually sleep with.”

“When I was sexually active, it was usually frat boys, so I guess I should’ve known I wasn’t the problem.” You let out a small laugh, Dr. Styles seems to have found it much more amusing, as his chuckle came from deep within his chest. A small movement came with the laugh, which also reminded you that his fingers were still very much inside of you.

“It seems y’need someone who knows his way around,” he cleared his throat, and you smiled as you realized what he was hinting at. “and y’my last paitent of the day, so m’more than happy t’help y’out.” He looked down at his feet shyly, and you found it adorable how he was nervous about what he was proposing. But you were on the verge of tears from how hard it was to hold back your physical response to his touches. Your body relaxed when the words came out of his mouth, and you let out the whine that had been building up in your throat.

“Yes-Harry, god yes.” It was the first time you were using his first name, but the smirk on his face showed his approval.

He quickly removed his fingers from your heat, and you whined again, this time in frustration. Losing contact left you feeling cold, but that feeling only lasted a fleeting moment, as soon as he was pushing his fingers into you again, this time bare.

“Y’already so wet love, what got y’this worked up hmm?”

“Y-you, Harry, I want you.” You tripped over your words, but they came out clear enough for him to understand because he began moving his fingers at the encouragement. His fingers began to pump in and out of you, and you knew he must have been right about not being with the right guys before, because the simple movements left you as putty in his hands. You barely got any pleasure from fingering in your other sexual encounters, but you were already a moaning mess underneath the man. He lifted his other hand, which had also had the glove on it removed, and placed the pad of his finger on your puffy clit. You mewled loudly and his smirk widened.

“Any o’those boys ever make y’feel this good darlin’?” You shook your head furiously, and he smiled, rubbing circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. You were already seeing stars, and you could feel an unfamiliar knot forming in your stomach. “Y’so pretty, did y’know tha’?”

You couldn’t muster up enough strength to respond to his second question, but the loud moan that you let out was enough of an answer for him. His movements sped up, fingers pumping in and out of you and his other thumb pressing circles on your button.

“Harry-”

“Think y’close darlin’? Ready t’come fo’ the first time?”

“Yes, yes..” Your voice trailed off when a guttural moan rumbled through your throat. Although you haven’t had one before, you were sure that he was about to bring you to an orgasm. There was a tight feeling in your stomach and you knew it was just about to burst.

“Fuck-”

The knot burst and your orgasm rolled through your body, reaching every nerve inside of you. The feeling was euphoric, and your senses were heightened as your body experienced this new feeling.

“Thas’ it, good girl,” he cooed, slowing his movements and removing his fingers from your now overly sensitive clit. He worked you through your orgasm until fully removing his fingers from you, and you let out a sigh as he did so. “Definitely not somethin’ wrong with ya’, I can tell y’that.”

He smiled up at you and you returned the gesture, your smile only faltering when he turned away to write something down. You took the opportunity to get up and change, quickly dressing while his back was turned.

He turned in his chair to face you once again, handing you a small piece of paper. You took it from between his fingers to see a phone number scribbled on it in black ink.

“Is Doctor Styles giving me his number?” You said it in a cheeky way, smirking back at him.

“Yes, and he’s telling you to text him when you get home. Doctor’s orders.”

[sandorcentral]

Welcome Home (Sandor x Reader, NSFW)

Pairing: Sandor Clegane x F!Reader

Summary:  It was requested I write a fic in an AU where Sandor survives Season 8 and is married to Sansa's seamstress, in which Sandor is reunited with his wife and things get..spicey. 

Wordcount:  2435

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings: canon divergence, swearing, explicit language, Sandor being mildly sexually aggressive, Sandor fucking BITES and I do not take criticism on this, me not writing dialogue for Sandor very well, size kink, cunnilingus, penetrative sex, unprotected sex. 

A/N:  I suck at writing for Sandor but this is only my first attempt.  Be kind, and comment if you feel so inclined. (:

Also I'll be reblogging this later with the AO3 link.

You'd tossed and turned all night.   Every night without Sandor by your side was fitful.  A generous quantity of wine before bed helped, just not enough. You had spent so many years comforted by your husband's warmth and sheer size that it just didn't feel right trying to find slumber without Sandor's arms wrapped around you, his warm breath and soft snores in your ear.  The burly mastiff that the Clegane house had provided as a wedding gift those years ago huffed and curled up behind your knees, attempting to provide you with the company you were so sorely lacking.  The pressure of the massive dog leaning into you was all that encouraged you to somnolence, as you imagined a much more substantial hound was providing you the warmth needed for rest.

***

The sharp clank of your door's lock shifting roused you instantly.  The mastiff sprang to its paws and a growl rose from deep in its chest, but a heavy gauntleted hand patted the creature's head and calmed it instantly.  "All right, you bloody mutt.  That's a good dog."  

It felt like a dream, hearing that deep rasp.  It had been a dream on so many occasions since Sandor left to accompany Queen Sansa on her visit to consult Bran in the Crownlands.  You'd slept so little the entire time he had been absent that it felt like a vision, suddenly seeing your husband's towering visage before you. 

After shoeing your mastiff into the hall, Sandor sat down heavily before you on the bed, and discarded his gauntlets upon the floor.  The moment you sat up he captured your face in large, calloused hands and kissed you with a ferocity that took your breath away.  His kisses could be harsh but his lips were soft, save for the fur around his mouth that tickled you.  For a lingering moment you wondered if this perfect moment was indeed just another dream.

With a low rumble under his breath Sandor pulled away, planting the softest kiss upon your forehead, before wrapping huge arms around you and folding you against his chest.  If there were seven heavens then this was indubitably one of them, surrounded by your husband's warmth, the light musk of his skin, and his fingers absent-mindedly stroking your bed-befuddled hair.  

  

"I was wondering if you were ever coming back," you jested quietly, turning your face up to meet Sandor's gaze.  Your chiding words were immediately punished by sharp teeth nipping at your lips, followed by a tender kiss where he'd now left a light red mark.  You clutched his thickly furred jaw in both hands, thumbs occasionally ghosting over his cheekbones, almost trying to convince yourself he was real.  

Sandor leaned back, suddenly looking lost.  He got like this sometimes, especially following any significant absence of you.  Originally you only saw this reaction out of him when you'd stroke or kiss the marred half of his face; you'd always loved pressing your lips to that downward-drooping brow.  It had bewildered Sandor for the longest, the fact that not only did you have no qualms about looking at him, you had no apprehensions about touching his melted skin.  An almost tranced expression overcame his face, his thumb stroking your cheek absent-mindedly as you moved closer to him.  

"I missed you," Sandor rumbled hoarsely, his wolfish gaze of his good eye dropping to your lips.  

"And I love you."

"Mm. Daft as always," Sandor grunted, with his tiny quirk of a smile, before kissing you once more with fervor.    

"I was going to offer you wine but you already taste like it," you chuckled against his mouth.  You had long since begun to associate the deep sugary flavor of red wine with Sandor's coarsely furred lips, and you were perfectly fine with that.  

"What the fuck else am I supposed to do on that ride back?  Besides.  The Broken King can afford Dornish red." 

"Don't call him that."  You gave Sandor the same puppy eyes you did when he casually insulted any of your acquaintances in the Stark family.  

Sandor snorted and suddenly you were being pushed back onto the bed.  "Quit your talking," he rasped.  "We've got lost time to make up for."   

You weren't about to argue with the huge man as his lips found your neck and he deftly undid the lacing of your dress until it loosened from your shoulders, revealing your chest and stomach to him.  Looking you up and down, Sandor absent-mindedly drew his lower lip between his teeth.  He looked hungry, not unlike the way he appeared when he was itching for a fight to start.  

More lacings came undone and more harsh kisses and bites ensued.  Sandor worked his way down your body, nipping at your collarbone then showing delicacy to your nipples - swirling his tongue around them until you shivered and tightened your fingers' grip in his hair.  You loved the fact that his hands were more than large enough to entirely encompass each of your breasts in his palms, and that his mouth was deft in his exploration of your body. 

It was not long before Sandor was wriggling your dress over your hips and discarding it upon the floor, before taking a moment to admire the form of his wife, drinking in your visage.  He had this way of smiling at you that didn't quite reach his mouth but the crinkles around his eyes betrayed that he was pleased.  He ran one large, rough hand down your side and over the sharp curve of your hip, before taking your knee and spreading you open before him.  

He kissed your inner thighs delicately, starting near your knees and moving closer and closer to your core.  His beard tickled you here and there but that was soon forgotten when his warm mouth reached your nub, his large tongue languidly lapping up and down your folds.  One calloused hand gripped the junction where your thigh met your hip, while the other tentatively stroked your entrance, gauging how ready you were.  

"Sandor, please," you breathed, and that was all he needed.  Two long, thick fingers slid into you, before curving upward in a come-hither motion, stroking the spot inside you that made your eyes roll back immediately.  His talented tongue swirling around your nub had you shuddering uncontrollably and tightening around his fingers, making Sandor sigh against you in satisfaction - a low noise that reverberated through your core and had your thighs quivering on either side of his head.  

Your fingers twisted in his hair, attempting to gather long locks away from his face the way he would for you when your mouth was full of his cock.  Gasps and mutters of his name fell from your lips as you felt shocks snaking up through your body.  His fingers quickened their pace, bringing you closer and closer to the edge, as he suckled at your nub like his life depended on it.  

For a moment you looked down at the tantalizing man between your legs, overcome with the fact that it was him you had managed to marry and that was pleasuring you, the Hound, that was exploring you so intimately.  Years of being together had never dulled this exhilaration; had never lessened the inherent excitement of being ravished by this notoriously huge, powerful man.  For a moment his "good" eye met your gaze; the other eye was too weighed down by his maimed, melted brow to see you at such an angle. 

"Sandor, I'm -"  Your voice cut off suddenly, unable to process the amount of sensation coursing through you. 

In response he slipped a third finger into you, at which point you were certain he was not simply enjoying playing with you, he was getting you ready.  "Go ahead."  His rasping voice rumbling against you, and the sudden crook of his fingers inside you against that special spot was all you needed.  You tightened your grip in Sandor's hair and cried out as stars burst behind your eyelids, your back arching up off the bed.  

A fewmioments and Sandor sat up as you lay quivering and spent, wiping your moisture from his lips and beard.  His eyes were dark with lust, and he was breathing nearly as hard as you were.  

As you slowly came down from the high that his ministrations provided, you had the pleasure of watching Sandor stand and shed his layers.  He was quite adept at undoing his own armor, the result of having never accepted a squire, swiftly leaving him in the loose small-clothes that were your honor to remove.  You sat up, still remarkably shaky in the legs, and took the hem of his tunic in your hands.  You laid a kiss upon each section of your husband's flesh that you revealed, savoring the soft tickle of the dark hair that covered the expanse of his broad chest and abdomen.  

Tunic removed, you graduated down to the buttons of his trousers, teasingly avoiding the swelling you encountered.  Your husband's arousal was no small thing to avoid - to your original intrigue and dismay, you had discovered Sandor was exactly as well-endowed as one would assume a man of his stature might be. You kissed the deep brown fur from his collarbone to his navel, while your hands worked on freeing him from the confines of his trousers.  

Cloth slipped over his hips and Sandor sighed in relief, his stiffened length no longer uncomfortably restrained.  You began laying adoring kisses on your husband's stomach, following the thick trail of brown curls from his navel to his root.  A low rumble worked its way out of the huge man as you placed more kisses on either side of his cock, his warm shaft just barely grazing your cheek.  

"Enough," Sandor growled, taking a handful of your hair, and once again you found yourself being gripped by the shoulder and pushed back onto the bed, though with more fervor this time.  He crawled onto the bed after you, a hungry, predatory gleam in his eyes as he moved atop you.  

Sandor clutched your face in both large hands, resting his forehead against yours.  His breath was hot on your face and his  warm member slid back and forth over your entrance, his leaking length heavy and rubbing against your nub.  You squirmed a little in anticipation beneath Sandor as his tip sought your entrance.

Sandor's lips found yours again before he leaned into you, the weight of his body driving his cock home.  You gasped sharply, all of you tensing as he filled you suddenly and nearly to the hilt, your fingers tangling frantically in your husband's llong hair. You couldn't blame him - he was desperate, he needed to be one with his wife after all this time, but that didn't change the fact that in his urgency Sandor was forgetting you might need some extra time to adjust to him after all these moons of his absence.  

Sandor drew back, his lips exploring from your jaw to your ear. Your nails dug into his shoulders and you yelped as he bottomed out in you with the next thrust; he still wasn't even buried to the hilt.  With a few insistent strokes the burn of him stretching you began to fade, or it became easier to ignore when Sandor filling you to the brim was sending shocks resonating through your core.  

If you really needed convincing to ignore the short-lived pain of his entrance, Sandor sank his teeth into the side of your neck, distracting you with a sensation he knew you responded well to.  The bite was sharp but sent a delicious, dull ache resonating through you as he held on, like a dog mounting its bitch.  You were fully aware that this would be a blue or purple bruise tomorrow, the way his teeth were baring into you, but you didn't care.  In fact the prospect excited you particularly.  Few things satisfied you as much as visible reminders that you belonged to the Hound - it was your honor to wear the marks of the Clegane dog claiming you, branded in your own misplaced blood.  Perhaps one day that honor would be worn as a swollen belly full of Sandor's pups.  

You wrapped your legs snugly around his midsection, allowing a less overwhelming angle as his pace began to pick up rapidly.  What had been relatively methodical strokes were now frantic and restless, eliciting gasps and shrill moans from you every time Sandor's cock came up against that wall deep inside you, sending tendrils of sharp pleasure up through you.  Your eyes rolled back in your head and the rest of the world began to drop away, nothing existing in that moment but your union with Sandor; the musk of his skin surrounding you, the tickle of his dark helical strands falling around your face, the breath-taking sensation of him filling you relentlessly.  He was absolutely intoxicating.  

The force of his rutting eventually sent you over the edge again, and you cried out frantically enough that you stuffed your own fist into your mouth with celerity.  Sandor immediately grasped your wrist, holding your hand captive above your head.  "No," he snarled, gripping the hair of the back of your head, "let them hear what I'm doing to you."  Undoubtedly referring to adjacent rooms in the castle.  You whimpered against Sandor's furred lips, unable to control your body tightening around him convulsively, drawing from him his own climax.  Sandor took your throat between his teeth with a low snarl as he suddenly spilled into you, his warm seed filling you to the point of overflowing.  

You kept your legs tightened around your husband's waist as he loosened his teeth on your flesh and rested his damp forehead against the swoop of your shoulder. You were unwilling to experience the absence of him within your body just yet.  Sandor's cock still pulsed and twitched, his breath ragged on your neck, as your insides milked the last few drops out of him. 

A small whine escaped you as Sandor withdrew slowly, settling beside you on the bed and collecting you to his chest.  You nuzzled against the soft curls of his collarbone and gently entwined your legs with his.  "I love you," Sandor rumbled sleepily, resting his chin atop your head.  

"Welcome home, love."  You laid a languid series of tender kisses beneath his jaw, though Sandor was already snoring softly, arms still clasped solidly around you.  You smiled against his chest, and it wasn't long until you fell into the only peaceful sleep you'd found in fortnights.  

[edwardskhakipants]

I'mma need you to stop putting your amazing opinions in the hashtags, I want to reblog them. this world needs more love towards edward 😢😢

Oh! I agree. The world needs more Edward love. All of the characters in the saga can be horrible people if you pick at them for long enough. For whatever reason, Edward doesn't receive the slack the other characters get.

You cannot say those things, bestie, because this gives me the confidence to share my Edward opinions loud and proud, instead of keeping them to the tags where they belong.

But here we go.

The character is much more enjoyable and lovable if you read him as a sweetheart idiot making mistakes for the sake of love rather than the infallible, perfect genius Bella sees him as.

Edward was absolutely right to leave Bella in New Moon. His brother tried to murder her. Besides, he straight up told Bella that he only planned to stay with her as long as it was what was best for her. So, there was never any "gaslighting", either.

Jumping from that point, Edward had no idea he was using Bella's greatest insecurity when he broke up with her. Every time Bella felt insignificant or self-conscious in Twilight, Edward mistook it for fear in Midnight Sun. Also, he revealed in New Moon he was shocked it worked, because he thought Bella would see through such an obvious lie.

Edward is Ace. There is nothing wrong with the fact that he did not want to have sex before Bella. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with the fact that he wanted to wait until after marriage.

Edward is fun! His dry humor is sprinkled throughout the series. He ran through the woods with Bella on his back! He wanted to show off to her while playing baseball! He wanted to throw her a birthday party and shower her with presents! He gave her a motorcycle and a jacket so she could ride with her friend!

The only reason it seemed like Bella has more casual fun with Jacob than she does with Edward is the pacing of the books. Twilight (Edward's book) happened over a few days whereas New Moon (Jacob's book) happened over weeks. Jacob's book simply had more downtime to fill.

Edward is good. Down to his core, he is good. When he makes a mistake, his apologies are earnest and actively he works to do better. He wants the happiest life for those he loves and will sacrifice his own to give it to them.

[astrosirensblog]

My takes on random stuff

- I actually like smalltalk, it even annoys me when people are like “I hate smalltalk sm, I only want to talk about deep stuff everything else is meaningless” ever thought that smalltalk comes before the meaningful conversations? Besides that, I’m not gonna talk with you deep when I just meet u, how do you guys build such strong connections in a eye of a second?

- fatphobia has his roots in racism, you heard me right

- I don’t get how girls can like these crusty dusty “gamer” e- boy dudes that don’t even shower right. They all looked so wretched and they’re so misogynistic🤢

- I’m sorry but people who like it when other people wear tales make me uncomfortable

- the normalization of hookup culture especially around girls should be illegal, no you’re not empowering feminisms by doing guys the favor to play with you without them putting in any effort

- I will never ever befriend a girl who compares herself to other girls again

- or someone I don’t feel comfortable saying my opinion to

- You will be shocked by the amount of guy friends you have, who would love to sleep with you (they’re just really good at hiding it)

- Men who want 50/50 relationships are trash

- leaving work/ class because of my period IS A VALID REASON🤨

- The food industry in America is concerning me to the core

- I don’t like gossiping because I literally don’t care what others say and do, girl you’re the annoying one rn for coming to me and bothering me with some stuff, that is not even my business

- As someone with Add, people with adhd annoy the crap out of me, I’m sorry but I don’t have the focus, patience and energy to deal with you guys 😭 you’re still great though 💕

I had to do some schoolwork with a girl who has it and she was always changing the topic (talking about her personal stuff) even though I asked her a question about the work we had to do and she was staring at my phone and reading what was on the display n stuff, I was hella annoyed

- I don’t see a problem with ignoring someone you don’t like, in fact it’s problematic to force someone to interact with people they don’t like because otherwise they are “rude”

- Our grandparents are to 85% the reason why our parents traumatized us

- old people scare me sometimes, u guys have no chills

- Ben & Jerry’s are are worth the money

- I actually prefer gatekeeping myself

- people who are intelligent and have humanitarian morels are so hot

- I like tumblr more since it has stricter community-guidelines

- I love eating salad, I just love it

- I can’t go a day without drinking at least one glass of cranberry juice, I never really meet someone who likes cranberry juice - it’s way to underrated

- I don’t like using swear words actually and it makes me uncomfortable when people around me talk so vulgar 🤔

- psychology is something I never get tired of

- but I hate Freud though

Okay that was a great last take, Imma end it here

Who ever reads this, reblog and do your own takes🤎

Bye 🤍

[itstheimpossibledream]

Homecoming

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count:1990

Warnings: Smut,DaddyDom!Henry, Oral (female reciving)

Summary: Henry takes you to his hometown but, you become slightly jealous of the attention he recieves. Please do not repost my fics without my permission but, we always love a reblog ! Inbox& Requests always open!

You stepped into the hotel room, immediately taking off your jacket and throwing your purse to the floor. 

"What the fuck Henry?" you asked as you whirled around to face him. The beach day date of his hometown was his thing, it was supposed to be planned so that the two of you could finally spend some free time together. But, the entire day had ended up with Henry signing autograph after autograph; being hit on by a waitress here, asked out by a bartender there, and he's just taking it as though it is completely normal. You had spent so much time choosing your outfit, ordering clothes for the weekend. It had been so weird to be in his hometown. His parents had been entirely shocked Henry even wanted to come visit home again.They were on a vacation somewhere, Henry  spared no expense on their travel it was the one thing the job actually made easier. He was used to the money being able to satiate everyone else in his life, that when it failed to impress you, he had no idea how to go from there. It shocked you how thoroughly and completely he had outweighed telling you what he's feeling. The one thing you wanted more than anything was for Henry to let you in. To just explain his emotions and say what he was thinking. The brooding charm was sexy, and it had no doubt gotten you home from the club that night. But, as boyfriend material he was wearing you thin. 

"Why can't we just get one moment together?Or does that not matter to you anymore? We came on this trip in an attempt to be together yet the whole time we have never actually been together. In Fact, I think I've spent more time in your apartment during filming than at your actual home. I'm trying to get to know you Henry, I am but I can't do it if you're constantly flaunting yourself for people.”

"Flaunting?"he asks " You wanted to see my first job, I took you there.That wasn't flaunting.That was me trying to let you in, and the second the waitress compliments me you get upset."

"Compliment!..... Henry? Compliment?Fucking really ? She told you she and the other waitresses had a bet on how big your dick is!" you exclaimed, sitting down at the edge of the bed, partially running a hand through your hair .

"Yeah but I didn't tell them !" he fired back "Look, (y/n) I am trying here. You have to meet me halfway.This is what people are like around me. I want this to work , I -I want this to be something " He slowed his speech down looking directly into your eyes,so piercingly blue. " I also need you to promise me that you're going to try. I-darling I need you to try." he kneeled on the floor in front of you, grabbing your hands and forcing you to look into his eyes. His eyes pierced your soul, he always knew what to say to keep you from walking away. You sighed,removing your hands from his, finally committing to taking down your ponytail and letting your curls frame your face. 

"You are beautiful. I'm sorry people reminded me more today of that than they did of you,  you need to hear it just as much, if not twice. You deserve it......Everything about being with you makes me feel lucky."

You looked down at him and took notice of the fact that you usually never looked down on him. Seeing the top of his head was a virtue. He was being vulnerable. You also noted the cologne he had on, not overtly strong but,enough of a scent for you to notice. His eyes looked strong, so serious and eager to please you. You gently leaned in and kissed him. You laughed as you felt him smile into your kiss. He reached a hand up cradling the back of your head over your hair, his thumb caressing your cheek. He steadies you, leaning further in. You felt safe, in this room in your little love cocoon. The salty smell of the sea water wafted through the window and you hated yourself for ruining what was meant to be a beautiful time.Waves of emotion washed over you as you inhaled him deeply.

"So you like to argue don't you?" you felt Henry's smile turn into a smirk as he ran his other hand along the up the curve of your thigh, to the edge of your shirt. He played with the hem of the shirt denying you the contact he knew you desperately craved. You pushed your hips further in, closer to him and he exhaled into you. You knew he could feel the heat reverberating from your core, and you were sure his jeans were tightening by the minute. Hooking an arm around his neck you pulled yourself up and into him. He situates his hand on the side of your face slowly dipping his thumb into your mouth. You pull off his baseball cap and toss it behind you. So much for him being disguised during the date. You couldn't get away from the fact that seeing that passion from him, that honesty had moved you.On the other hand he was an actor, that's what they were supposed to do right? say the right thing?

"You know, next time instead of getting jealous" he mumbled in between kisses  you could just tell me to follow you to the bathroom. I could be extra loud when I cum too, so they know I belong to you." he lifted you up by your ass and threw you onto the bed. 

"aren't you always extra loud when you cum?" You asked wriggling out of your vest and shirt beneath him.

"Isn't that what you like?" he retorts, trying to ignore the fact that he was slightly stuck inside his shirt. Yes he was perfect at saying the right thing but, he was still a person,still real, still riddled with insecurities like anyone else. It just didn't help that the rest of the world rarely saw it. That first night you met he had stood near you in the club for a little shy of an hour before saying anything at all.

He tugs harder on his shirt and you watch as the stretch makes the muscles in his sides more visible, the outline of his ribs below the expanse of hair on his chest that you had never particularly been into, yet on him seemed masculine and mature. Trailing down to the V. His abs and hips meeting in this perfection of symmetrical musculature was enough for you to understand why any woman would swoon at the thought of him entering a diner and crossing his toned legs at the table even with a baseball cap pulled over his eyes. 

"Now you're getting shy." He jests at the fact that you had not answered his question but proceeded to take him in.

"Tell daddy what you want." he encouraged, his voice barely a whisper. God, when he said things like that, it made you unable to respond. So, you decided not to,grabbing his hand and moving it down into your sweatpants, to your core pressing it hard against your clit. He began to move his hand slowly as he smiled down at you; The smile lines at the corner of his mouth, playing games with your heart. 

"Is that it then ? You just want me to touch you?" his warm hand inched lower and you could feel him lightly dip a finger into you. You moan to your own surprise, andhe immediately removes it. You watch his face, intent and you're slightly embarrassed by the attention,  but it's enough just knowing that he wanted to be inside of you, any part of him. You buck your hips up to him in an effort to convince him to finger you again but, to no avail.      

"Unnnhhh.No. sweetheart I said tell me " he says shaking his head.

Your voice comes out shakily and much smaller than expected. 

" I want- I want you to make me cum." you say breathlessly 

"What else?" he leans in , his face turning hard and stoic.

"I want you to degrade me, to use me." He breaks into a full smile now, wide and you exhale loudly as he forces two fingers back inside of you. He chuckles at the noise you make, knowing full well what he's doing to you.

"You want me to use you like a toy because you're a whore." He says matter of factly, picking up speed between your legs. 

"You're so wet  just thinking of me using you, aren't you princess?" he growls into your ear.God he was really going for it today, and you were loving every minute of it.  

"You're so needy already I didn't even get a chance to fuck you." he chuckles and you feel his palm shift right onto your clit.

You manage to whisper "Right there" knowing full well it may be the only instruction you are allowed to give for the rest of the day. But,he doesn't move his hand.

"You like that pressure on your little clit don't you baby?" he asks. You look up at him pleadingly, eyes begging for him to allow you to have this orgasm. "Come for me then, go ahead" he says lifting his eyebrow. You look down at his hand buried inside you under your sweatpants and begin moving your hips faster.

"Come on Daddy's hand since you want to come so bad." he mocks , you buck onto his hands, knowing you are close. You let out  a small whine and you can see as his blue pupils blow out with lust. More whimpers come and before you know it you are releasing all over his hand, breathing into his mouth .

"That's my fucking girl." he smiles broadly looking down at you. You cover your eyes with your forearm, embarrassed to know that he had watched your face the entire time. 

"You are so beautiful right now." he says as you manage to break into a slight smile, still refusing to make eye contact. You feel the weight on the bed shift as he moves. When you finally remove your arm , you see him at the foot of the bed. Somehow, he had found his hat and he tugs it on as he reaches for his phone on the hotel table.

"What are you doing?" you ask

"O nooow you want to talk to me." he chuckles as you roll your eyes "I'm getting room service for us so we don't have to go anywhere. It's just going to be you and me, like it should've been."

You sit up in bed promptly "Well, I still want to know about this place! What you did, what you liked, what you learned in your hometown."

"This is what I learned, " he says, gesturing to the bed."This is what I'm good at." 

"Please, Henry you're good at more than just sex."

"Am I ? My agent isn't exactly having the easiest time right now." he says slumping on the edge of the bed. 

"Hey-  we both have shit that we could think of all weekend to make us pissed life isn't going our way...or- or we could say fuck it , and enjoy this bit of time we have together because we don't know when it's going to happen again. " 

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry sweetheart." he smiles.

"You're forgiven. Now, " you say moving yourself forward and crawling towards him on the bed. "It's your turn" reaching for his belt buckle. He immediately lays back, ready for you to do whatever you wanted with him. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be such a bust after all. 

[qqueenofhades]

did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

[danniburgh]

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 25

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +3.5k

Chapter warnings: smut, (unprotected p in v), a bit of mutual masturbation, a lot of exposition lol, brief mention of drugs

A/N: This chapter is set after season three. // So, last chapter my dudes; im so happy but sad that the main series is ending but so satisfied of everything we’ve done together, i have a fuckton of people to be grateful for but honestly i rather do that in private. I just wanna say that im so happy for the attention this fic has gotten and im so grateful for everyone that has read, liked, commented and reblogged this piece of my heart; i owe you <3. And its not the end of this universe, we’re still gonna see slices of Flor and Javi along the years after this story. I love them and i love you. 

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gif: @pescopadral

A big breath of air left your lungs and the already known sinking of the light that woke you up almost every morning made your brain half conscious; Summer sunrises in Texas made you open your eyes earlier than you wanted, you didn’t know if it had something to do with the position of the house, that the sun entered the room through the beige sheer curtains and nagged at your eyelids as if it was eager for you to see it or the overall fact that you weren’t able to sleep with light.

You whined softly when you opened your eyes and covered them with your forearm as the amount of light that hit your face directly hurt you; you had been living in that town and waking up in that bed for almost a year and you couldn’t seem to get used to the amount of light that entered the rooms almost all day.

You opened your eyes slowly and rubbed the sleep off them, making a mental note to buy another sleeping mask whenever you went downtown, as Pepe had destroyed the one you had.

You stretched on the bed and let your arms drop to the sides, your right arm falling on a warm lump that let out a muffled groan at the hit.

“Mornin’.” you muttered, shifting to your side, putting a hand under the pillow to face him, he was on his belly, hands under his pillow, his eyes were closed but you knew he was already awake. A small smile grew on your face at his half asleep face and the messy case of wavy bed hair he so easily pulled off.

“No.” he mumbled in that hoarse voice of his you only got to hear in the mornings and shoved his face in the pillow, you bit your lip and eyed the bit of the skin of his back you could see before the sheet that covered both your bodies began.

“Javi, I’m hungry.” you whispered, reaching to his naked shoulder and sliding your hand to his nape, he sighed.

“Go to my dad’s,” he mumbled, the pillow muffling his voice, “today he’s making pancakes.” you snorted at him, your fingers scratched at his nape and you shifted to get closer to him.

“I’m not walking to his house to steal his food, Javier,” you chastised him in a low voice and left a small kiss on his shoulder. “and I have a different kind of hunger.” you murmured on the skin of his arm.

Javier lifted his face out of the pillow just enough for you to see his grin, he raised an eyebrow and you nodded once.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” he said, making you chuckle, he slid off his hand from under the pillow and reached out for you, shifting on the bed to lie on his side, you stirred closer to him and cupped his face to take his lips on a kiss.

“What an excellent way to go.” you teased against his lips, Javier chuckled and licked your bottom lip to nibble at it between his, his hand slid to your naked back and his warm fingers made their way to the bottom of it, the sheet going down with them, leaving your top half uncovered and at his mercy.

Javier’s kisses traveled down to your jaw and your neck, leaving sloppy nibbles at the skin and he smiled at the smell of your body; a mix of your coconut soap, laundry detergent from the bedding and his cologne, that had a habit of clinging to you since the first day you slept next to him on your house.

One of your hands wrapped around his neck and you brought him closer to you, your breasts brushing the skin of his chest and you shivered when your nipples hardened because of the contact, your other hand sneaked from his shoulder to his chest, all the way down his tummy and then to his half-hardened cock; Javier shivered slightly when you took him in your hand and started giving him lazy strokes to get him ready for you.

Javier sighed and the warm air that left his mouth collided against the wet skin of your neck and a wave of arousal came out of your core and slid slowly to your naked thighs; he moved his hand from your back to your thigh and down to your mound, brushing his fingertips softly on your covered clit until you folded one leg and opened up for him, his fingers found your slick escaping out of you and he eased his index and middle finger inside you, making you gasp.

“You’re always so wet.” he whispered against your skin and his tongue tasted the essence of your flesh as his fingers curled inside you, hitting several times that spongy part of you that made your legs tremble, your hand gripped his cock at the sudden shock of his pressure inside you and the hand that was keeping him close to you moved to his shoulder, and you pushed him to lie down on his back, his fingers sliding out of you and the hand on his cock never leaving him; you loved to feel him grow in your hand, only for you.

The sheet that covered you when you were sleeping was slowly kicked down the bed as you rouse from your side of the bed and straddled him, one knee on each side of his hips; his hands clasped immediately with yours, one dry and one wet with your arousal and you leaned down to cup his face with both hands and take his lips again with your own, his thumbs were making small circles around the skin of your hips and he moaned softly when you bit his lower lip.

“Get inside.” you whispered against his mouth and one of his hands left your body to grip his length, you lifted your hips and he played the tip of his cock on your wet slit, making you shiver when he made it press on your already swollen clit and found his way into you.

You sat on him slowly and you both sighed in relief once he was fully inside you; you slid your hands from his face to his chest and circled your hips slowly, Javier brought his hand to your jaw and pulled you to him, kissing you again and trying to let you know with his lips how much he needed you.

His hand helped you move on top of him as you started a tantalizing rhythm that was making you both gasp on each other's mouth, you smelled his morning breath and let out a soft chuckle at yourself; you didn’t mind it one bit.

“What?” he whispered when he heard you, moving his hand to your hips to help you circle faster.

“I like you very much.” you replied, he smirked in response and leaned up to give you a soft kiss; you slid your hands to his sides and under him, wrapping them around and gripping his shoulders to gain leverage and start moving on top of him, Javier moaned when your started bouncing your hips on him making his cock slide in and out almost entirely and his tip was already grazing at that soft spot inside you that made you whine his name.

“Fuck, baby.” Javier gasped when you hid your face inside his neck, moaning his name, he tightened the grip on your hips and folded his legs, planting his feet on the bed and meeting your movements half way, you gasped at the already known brushing of his cock with your g-spot and smiled when he made you stop your bouncing to pound into you.

“Fu–‌fuck, Javi jus–‌just like that.” you whispered in his ear and he let out a soft grunt when you clenched your walls around him, almost strangling him inside. Javier slid one hand to your upper back and pressed you tighter on his body, his lips and mustache brushing the skin of your shoulder as he and his thrust and the graze of his pubic hair on your clit brought you to pleasure.

You whined his name a couple more times as his warm breath on your skin along with his cock inside you helped build that knot in your lower belly; he started panting and you knew he was close to burst inside of you; so you moved your hand slowly towards the union of your bodies and started circling your clit at the rhythm of his thrusts; you started panting as well at the same time as him and you felt your orgasm come softly, your toes curled and your breath hitched as the knot inside your belly released at once and Javier drove into you a few more times, he moaned when you shoved your slick covered fingers on his mouth, and he sucked, the taste of you and him mixed made him cum and fill your pussy with that warmness of his you really loved feeling spread in and escape out.

“Oh, god,” you panted out, he let out a spent chuckle and hummed, agreeing with you, you tilted your head to his shoulder and kissed the warm skin “I love you.”

Your low voice against his skin made him smile and his hands started drawing shapeless patterns on the skin of your back and hips, he moved his face to your cheek and licked a thin stripe of sweat that ran from your ear to your jaw.

“I love you more.” he muttered.

“I wanna pee.” you said after a few seconds of panting and recovering from your own orgasms, Javier chuckled and disentangled his arms and legs from you.

“Now I’m hungry.” he let out after another spent sigh, making you laugh.

After a cold, shared shower and Javier trying to get inside you again but failing because of his stomach growling in need of food, a packed breakfast courtesy of your non-husband insisting on going to his dad’s and eat the pancakes he made and your usual hour of catching up with the news, Javier brought the truck to the entrance of the house and between the both of you packed the bed with a small cooler and some blankets.

Pepe was walking next to you, and Javier huffed at the dog when he licked your hand after you had offered him an ice cube from the cooler..

“Y’know…” you let out, patting the black dog’s head with your wet, icy hand, “the only thing I miss about Colombia is the weather.” Javier snorted.

“Yeah,” he replied, shoving Pepe to the side softly to close the truck’s bed’s lid “I had forgotten how hot Texas can be.”

“Where are you two chamacos going?” Chucho’s voice came from behind and both of you turned around at the same time, seeing him on his horse, with the hat you gifted him for Christmas perched on his head, Chucho smiled at the mirrored gesture you two made and you smiled at him with a hand on your forehead to cover your eyes from the sun.

“For a ride, pop.” Javier replied, putting his tinted sunglasses on. Chucho hummed in affirmation.

“Check the paddock’s fence while you’re there.” he let out and you smirked at him.

He knew exactly where you were going; he knew both of you like the palm of his hand, surprisingly to you he had learned to read you so well in so little time and while you appreciated it, it was also somewhat exasperating, but you loved him as if he were your own father already, so there was nothing you wanted to do to stop him.

Chucho had modified a saying after you and Javier’s escapades to the piece of land that adjoined with the Río Bravo, saying that it fit you two best; you can take the agents out of the DEA, but you can’t take the DEA out of the agents.

“¿Van a venir a comer?” (are you coming for lunch?) he asked, whistling at Pepe so the dog turned to him.

“Yeah, pero usted no haga nada,” (you don’t do anything) you replied, eyeing Javier over the corner of your eyes “Javi’s cooking.” you let out, making the old man chuckle.

“So we’re not eating.” he let out and you shared a laugh, Javier frowned and took off his sunglasses.

“No hablen de mí como si no estuviera,” (don’t talk about me like I’m not here) he said in a growl “stop ganging up on me.” you let out a loud laugh when he turned around to walk to the driver’s door and hop in the truck and you raised your eyebrows at Chucho.

“Don’t be late, Florecita,” he said, guiding the horse to the side “vente Pepe.” he called out to the dog and he followed the horse as Chucho led it to the opposite side of the land, to the stockyard.

You turned around as well, Javier had opened the door for you from the inside and you hoped in, he turned on the ignition as you closed the door and started driving to the farthest part of the ranch; the ride to the south part was quiet and quick, Javier didn’t say much and the comfortable silence filled the cabin until he parked the truck in the middle of the paddock.

“Oh, I lied just now.” you said while opening the door and getting out of the truck.

“What?” Javier frowned a bit because of the sun and you walked parallelly to him towards the back of the truck.

“There’s another thing I miss about Colombia.” you let out as he walked to the edge’s fence and tugged at two of the posts before walking back towards you.

“What’s that?” he asked, taking off his sunglasses and hanging them from his shirt.

“Real arepas.” you let out, Javier chuckled and reached for you, his hand found its spot on your waist and he pulled you to him, leaving a kiss on your cheekbone.

“I finished another chapter last night.” he whispered against your skin before stepping away and pulling down the truck’s bed’s door. 

You raised your eyebrows at him, he was writing a lot for the book you and Connie had suggested him and Steve should write, just to help process everything they lived while in Colombia.

“Is that why you came to bed so late?” you asked, reaching for one of the blankets you had packed and unfolding it to spread it on the open door, Javier hummed in affirmation.

“Want you to read it before I send it to Steve.” he said, grabbing your hips and helping you sit on the truck, stepping closer while you opened your legs for him to stand between them and wrap his hands around your waist.

“Why?” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing him even closer, he smirked.

“Just because.” he replied and shrugged softly, making you huff a silent laugh at him as you leaned towards his face and took his lips in yours; Javier hummed at the soft, dry contact of your lips with his and fisted the fabric of your shirt. You knew how hard it was being for him to remember all the things that happened down there, so sometimes he would end up with huge chunks of information missing that then he’d have to fix, so he was using you as his proofreader and you were more than happy to help, learning in depth things he didn’t dare to say out loud.

He opened his mouth after you brushed his lower lip with your tongue and you invaded him, tasting the minty flavor of the toothpaste.

He broke the kiss and you moved one of your hands to scratch at the short hair on his nape, Javier sighed softly and you took in his features; he looked like the man you had fallen in love, his deep, brown, expressive eyes were the same, his lips were too, the aquiline nose that you loved to kiss hadn't changed but you knew he was a slightly different man than the one you had met almost two years before in a foreign country.

That man was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders; traumatized and tired, his own spirit was hanging from a thin thread that was so tense it threatened with snapping at the smallest blow of the wind. But the man standing in front of you wasn’t that man, you could see some glimpses of his old self behind his eyes or when the day had been long; after all, years of being that Javier Peña had clung to him and became a custom; but he was fading into his own self, you were slowly meeting the man he was and the man he wanted to be, and you couldn’t be more in love with him.

Your hands brushed his brown waves and you smiled at him.

“You’re really pretty.” you muttered to him, Javier huffed and gazed at you.

“Am I?” he teased, you nodded twice.

“Very,” he caught when you whispered, “and handsome, too,” he let himself smile at your compliment, “and sometimes you’re funny.” you added and he huffed a laugh before closing the short distance between your faces.

The fact that he could have you so close to him, available to touch and kiss and hug and wrap his arms around made Javier feel like he couldn’t ask for anything else; he still didn’t think he deserved it, but he had learned to be selfish and to appreciate what he had in you and with you. Even if the feelings of what happened with you still hid inside his body when he saw you in your hardest days, even if his brain still whispered to him you would do the same if the opportunity came; he knew you better. 

He had seen you stripe yourself naked to him and he had helped you rebuild yourself slowly.

He still was. As were you with him.

Javier knew who he was with and knew your strengths and your weaknesses, he had learned slowly to read you as you read him and he understood that your past, as hard as it was, was the thing that led you to him.

He would run through the same fire again if that meant he would have the chance to wake up next to you for as long as you two wanted. And he wanted to do it for the rest of his life.

You frowned when he broke the kiss.

“Are these gray hairs? you said in a feigned gasp, he rolled his eyes and smirked at you.

“Well, I’m old.” he obviated, stepping away from you and reaching for the cooler, dragging it closer.

“I don’t think you’re that old.” you said, he let out a chuckle as he opened the cooler and took out two beers, handing one to you.

“You don’t say the same when I ask you to rub my back after three hours sitting on the desk.” he teased, sitting next to you, you laughed and scooted closer to him, leaning on his shoulder and opening the can of beer.

“I’m definitely buying you that lumbar pillow.” you said, he let out a wheeze and turned his head to leave a kiss on the crown of your head, he opened his beer and you sipped at yours, seeing a small boat make its way through the water. You grinned and sat straight.

“This is the same one from last week,” you muttered, he hummed in affirmation “I think it’s the first one that has the same rower.”

“Maybe they’re running out.” Javier said, drinking from his beer.

“Wonder when migration is gonna start patrolling around here.” you leaned back onto his shoulder.

“Do you think old man Peña’s gonna let them enter?” he rhetored, and you looked at him.

“You mean you or your dad?” you teased, Javier grunted playfully, “he asked me when I’m giving him a grandkid again.” you said, returning your eyes to the small boat that made its way slowly through the river, not wanting to think about kids or the lack of them.

“Ese hombre no entiende.” (that man doesn’t understand) Javier let out softly, huffing at his father’s wishes.

“Maybe we can call Steve and Connie,” you suggested, brushing the odd feeling off your mind that talking about you having kids always made you feel “they can bring the girls down and maybe ease your dad’s baby fever.” Javier snorted.

“Maybe,” he muttered, downing the rest of his beer and pointing at the river with the hand that held the empty can “there goes another one.”

“That one’s new,” you said, drinking from your can and then handing it to him, “baby.” you called him.

“Mhm.” he took the beer from your hand.

“Do you think we’re still gonna be sitting here watching drugs being smuggled into the country when we’re gray and wrinkled as raisins?” you asked him, Javier chuckled at the question.

“Yeah,” he shifted to wrap his arm around your shoulders “why?”

“I don’t know,” you muttered “maybe we need to build a porch or a gazebo around here. I can’t push you into the paddock if you’re in a wheelchair.” you teased, and Javier let out a soft cackle.

“C’mon, amor, don’t be an ass.”

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